#Has AI gone to far /j

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/760787222147547136/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7606164166353879?source=share

Hi, Korean American anon here so I'm familiar with shipping culture in South Korea (though I don't think what I'm about to say is exclusive to South Korean culture)

I'm catching up but OP is very right about the strange contradiction and it's usually that some shippers feel safe shipping m/m relationships because at heart, they don't believe that their idols can be homosexual/bisexual. Their idols are perfect and, in their opinion, anything outside of heterosexuality is flawed and abnormal...so it's a low risk form of denial over the fact that they might have to one day deal with seeing their faves in a hetero relationship.

So shipping them with a male or group member is a safer way of exploring that fantasy romantic side of their idol, seeing how cute they can be, what they'd look like as their boyfriend etc without any of the risk of having to face their idol being in a real relationship (which according to them is a hetero one) because their homophobia (concious or subconcious) won't allow them to really consider the possibility that their fave might be gay or bi and they also know that companies and artists themselves might be less willing to expose same sex relationships.

So TLDR; it's a low risk deniability and form of mental escapism from facing the reality that they nightshade to watch their idol go through a relationship.

Now in Korea, its the same thing but with a little bit of an added element to it....because fans know that Korean entertainment companies and artists are far more indulgent than western counterparts when it comes to pleasong fans and delivering what they want and protecting them from having to acknowledge that their idols are human beings with their own lives. So with Korean idols and fans, there's also an element of control.

They know that if they ship group members or idols together, companies will often jump on it and use it to foster the parasocial element that is heightend and more greatly exploited in KPOP. That means idols and companies will go to far greater lengths to hide their real relationships and so fans won't have to be exposed to something they don't want to see or acknowledge.

They can make their faves dance to the beat of their drum by shipping them with each other because they genuinely don't believe anything will ever come of it

And the fact is that these fans would react the same way if their idol dated opposite or sex---because shipping them with the same sex is their way of essentially shipping them with nobody (if that makes sense)

Now obviously, I 'ship' Tàekook or I wouldn't be here but it's the fact that Hybe not only haven't exploited their biggest ship for fan engagement and fan interaction but seem to have gone to lengths to cover it that makes me more suspicious as to the reality of it.

But ultimately, homophobics shipping their m/m faves is really just them trying to exert whatever control they can while also holding a belief that they'll never have to face the reality of their ship coming to life.

Hi Korean-American anon!

So good to see you around! As always thanks for your input!

You're responding to this ask:

One of the reason's why I always found the explanation of less Taekook focus from BH being because Tae and Jk weren't close anymore such nonsense, is because it makes no sense from a business perspective. BH could literally make them do content together because people enjoyed it so much. Taekook is the biggest ship, has been for years.. and yet they make none to little use of it.

I've read people (the other side) say Tae and Jk are less interesting to watch... freaking bs.. which is basically proven by AYS where all Jm and Jk do is just eat and talk about how much they love to eat. Tae and Jk are also hilarious, cute, and comforting together. I grant everyone that an AYS from Jk and Tae would gather the same attention as AYS from Jk and Jm.

[echologname]

Murder Drones theory: V repressed N's bad memories

I love V more and more with each new episode!

This WHOLE time, since the start of their mission on C9, she's been focused on protecting N from the horrors she knows. She might have even gone as far as to wipe his memories of the past.

It seems like V would do anything to protect N, she decapitated him to get him to stop asking questions after all, and she DEFINITELY knows some traumatizing and lore heavy stuff but has been pretending she knows nothing.

Uzi's under the impression that V and N's memories were, "Reformatted to soup," by the humans but that could be less than true. We know for a fact, V is certainly aware of the Absolute Solver/Administrator CYN mysteries and perhaps was always the one aware of their true mission, to destroy all remains of the Absolute Solver experiments which went horribly wrong (which includes their own self destruction after all the workers are dead, since they only exist because of what was being conducted in labs like Camp 98.7).

Whatever initial purpose N and J played in that, it's clear that through the bad stuff, V wants N to stay his wholesome, innocent self unlike her, who's had the most dramatic personality change after becoming a disassembly drone. Even though J's the leader, she may have been intentionally uninformed of this and the "rouge AI," excuse for murdering all the workers was only a small tip of the iceberg and the true reason all the drones have to be eradicated is because they have the potential to be infected with an abomination of alien sentience that can hack reality.

[engineer455]

This is me rambling about something that's been bugging me for a while now.

Please bear with me for the following, this isn't really all that well structured but I need to get it out:

Aight, so something that's been bugging me for the past couple of months now has got to be how it seems like a significant portion of the fanbase still seem to be 100% sure The Solver is an AI.

Like, I get believing that back before episode 5. But after both episodes 5 AND 6 the AI thought process is really iffy now.

Let me explain.

Episode 2 showed that something was up with DD cores, and the Solverpede was quite obviously NOT J, but hey, there's been weirder AI's out there in fiction, something that screws around with what looks like biomechanics isn't THAT far-fetched, especially what with the use of Nanites that DD's have. And yeah, the telekinesis was kinda

But 5 kinda soft-debunked the AI thing when the Solver gave it's full name, and episode 6 DEFINTELY debunked that.

In 5 it calls itself "The Solver of the Absolute Fabric, the Void, the Exponential End."

I don't know about you, but that sounds less like the name of some homicidal toaster with delusions of grandeur and more like the name of some unholy fucking THING that crawled out of the Space Between Stars and decided to make it everyone's problem.

And then there's Episode 6.

And how the Solver turned Earth and at least 2 other planets (and probably more judging by Tessa's patch on her arm) into chunks of rubble orbiting what looks like a BLACK FUCKING HOLE.

Then there's the other bits how it manifests in damaged Drone AI, which DEFINITELY shouldn't happen if it were an AI.

And finally, there's how I'm pretty sure the the Corpse Spires, the Black Hole that shows up in N's flashback in ep4, and this image from episode 6 are all connected:

I'm not gonna mince words so I'm just going to put it simply: the corpse spires are for the Solver to trigger it's version of a goddamn Convergence Event.

said Convergence Event being those giant black holes.

I've got this whole theory behind this but this is the simple version, so whatever.

Point is, at first it was cool to think the Solver is just an AI, but by now it's quite frankly insane to think the planet devouring abomination that causes deactivated robots to come back from the dead, and inevitably turn into something that looks like the end result of a necromorph fucking a Macintosh 128K is MERELY an Artificial Intelligence gone nutty. Instead of what I believe it truly is:

An Eldritch Abomination using Drone Cores as an entryway into this universe to devour planets for a reason that we still don't know.

...Oh yeah also, Cyn isn't the Solver, can't believe some of you people still believe that.

She's just another poor bastard that was roped into this shit and ended up becoming a literal puppet for some sort of Eldritch Horror from Lovecraft's nightmares.

[denimbex1986]

'It struck me watching Christopher Nolan’s masterful three-hour epic telling of the story of J. Robert Oppenheimer, long labeled the Father of the Atomic Bomb, that this is a period piece with an exclamation point for audiences today.

In the 1940s, Oppenheimer and a team of brilliant scientists traveled into the unknown to create the ultimate weapon of mass destruction, the A-bomb, but with the noble reason that its use could be an end to war, its explosive and wide-ranging ability to tear apart vast areas of the planet would be used ultimately as a deterrent, not an endgame. It would be used against Nazi Germany in World War II, an answer to Hitler’s own demented vision of world dominance and annihilation. But anytime you are doing something never done in the whole history of humanity, there is risk, moral questions, unintended consequences and the possibility of building a monster even Dr. Frankenstein could not have imagined — or stopped.

So I was thinking about the current discussions of AI — its potential for good and life-changing breakthroughs but also, as scientists and its Silicon Valley creators have been warning recently, a new gadget (as the A-bomb initially was nicknamed) whose use could careen out of control and destroy us all. This is no mere science fiction, and neither was getting “the bomb,” which did the thing for which it was built and had the effect of ending World War II (but after Germany surrendered) when it was dropped twice on Japan in August 1945, first Hiroshima and then Nagasaki. The result for humanity there was devastating, but it turned out it was just the beginning.

Nolan is simply an exceptional filmmaker whose cinematic sensibility is steeped in the classics but merged with modern sensibilities and tools to make one-of-a-kind visual experiences with real ideas about the world around us. With Oppenheimer, his interest is in the complex mind of J. Robert Oppenheimer (played by Cillian Murphy in his sixth collaboration with Nolan but first as the lead), a complicated but brilliant physicist tasked with leading the Manhattan Project, the secret effort to create the nuclear bomb, a weapon so powerful it could be used to end war forever — in the right hands. Oppenheimer, a man with leftist politics even accused of being a communist, knew he could bring all the elements together but also — as we see his story played out in an unusual first-person approach in Nolan’s stunning screenplay based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning book, American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer by Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin — a moral conundrum gathering in his head as he begins to envision the dangers beyond a short-term use of a weapon that could — and did — spark an arms race and a new world order that changed us forever.

Nolan’s movie is set right at the start but serves as a fascinating glimpse into those who had it in them to pull off this remarkable feat but also had to live with its consequences, something we all have to live with today in a shaky time where the nuclear threat has sadly not gone away but only brought the doomsday clock closer to midnight than ever. How many times lately have we heard Putin try to make its use in Ukraine a possibility, even pointing out the Americans have been the only ones to ever use it — so far?

It is not a spoiler to reveal that Nolan ultimately chose not to show the horrific results of what happened the first time the Americans dropped that A-bomb over Japan. Instead we see it played out through Oppenheimer’s haunted eyes, a far more effective and chilling approach, achieved with some superior special effects married to music (Ludwig Goransson did the pulsating score) and superb, ear-rattling sound design. This ultimately is not an action spectacle or bomb-dropping war movie but a very human one in which its title character faces a moral dilemma shared by few in history, if anyone.

Oppenheimer’s story is told in non-linear style, shuffling back and forth to different periods in time, his own tale shot in color and told in first person, the later trials explaining how it all happened from various points of view shot in striking 65MM black-and-white film — particularly Robert Downey Jr.’s cagey Lewis Strauss, who was the founding commissioner of the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission and later a Cabinet appointee as Secretary of Commerce in the Eisenhower administration.

Although they are two key players here, Nolan has made a very dense film with a very large and starry cast — three recent Best Actor Oscar winners have small supporting roles, if that gives you an idea — the kind we used to see in ambitious Hollywood films by great directors but not so much lately, at least on this intellectual scale. Matt Damon is excellent as Leslie Groves, the Army officer who was director of the Manhattan Project and brought Oppenheimer into it; Emily Blunt is riveting as Kitty Oppenheimer, his wife (on her fourth marriage) but the one who clearly was his match; Florence Pugh plays Jean Tatlock, with whom he had a sizzling but tragic affair; Josh Hartnett is full of his own energy as the lively friend and nuclear scientist Ernest Lawrence; Kenneth Branagh is Niels Bohr, a Nobel Prize winner in physics who serves as sort of a mentor; Benny Safdie is great as Edward Teller, the theoretical physicist who pushed further into development the terrifying H-bomb, something Oppenheimer vehemently opposed; and on and on.

Those three recent Best Actor winners have memorable, if brief, moments as well. Casey Affleck is Boris Pash, the Presidio’s Chief Army Counter Intelligence Officer; Rami Malek is an associate physicist who makes his mark in a Senate hearing later in the film; and an unrecognizable Gary Oldman is highly amusing as President Harry Truman in one of the film’s most memorable scenes as he invites Oppenheimer into the Oval Office to congratulate him on the A-bomb, only to hear Oppenheimer’s new misgivings about its use going forward and that the Russians are on the path to getting it. He shuts him down, dismissing that idea and reminding him, in pure Trumpian-style bravado, that it will be he who will be remembered as the one who actually used it and won the war.

Shout-outs as well to David Dastmalchian as William Borden, a zealous nuclear advocate; Jason Clarke as Roger Robb, who was Special Counsel at the 1954 hearing to deny Oppenheimer’s security clearance; Tony Goldwyn as Atomic Energy Chairman Gordon Gray; and Jefferson Hall as Haakon Chevalier, a key early friend of Oppenheimer’s. Veteran actor Tom Conti also is simply terrific in his few scenes as Albert Einstein, a famous confidant of Oppenheimer’s. Casting director John Papsidera should get plaudits for helping to put together this far ranging cast of fine actors, way too many to mention here.

At three hours, there is a lot of story to tell here, and Nolan condenses it nicely and really moves this along with the pace of the best thrillers. The scene where the big first Trinity test of the bomb occurs in the New Mexico desert is pulse-pounding suspense (no one knew when the button was pushed what its effect on the Earth’s atmosphere would be), aided significantly by the razor-sharp editing of Jennifer Lame and ace cinematography by Hoyte van Hoytema, working for the fourth time with Nolan. But this is a movie where you never look at your watch no matter what the running time. Murphy gets the deserved role of a lifetime and really captures all the contradictions of this brilliant, tortured, complicated man. Downey gets his best role in years, a real standout as well.

From a man who has taken us into places movies rarely go with such films as Interstellar, Inception, Tenet, Memento,the Dark Knight Trilogy, and a very different but equally effective look at World War II in Dunkirk, I think it would be fair to say Oppenheimer could be Christopher Nolan’s most impressive achievement to date. I have heard it described by one person as a lot of scenes with men sitting around talking. Indeed, in another iteration Nolan could have turned this into a play, but this is a movie, and if there is a lot of “talking,” well he has invested in it such a signature cinematic and breathtaking sense of visual imagery that you just may be on the edge of your seat the entire time.

Hopefully people will see it in a theater, a place of worship for people like Nolan and me. It was made on the biggest film stock possible and meant for the largest screens, but it isn’t mere summertime escapist entertainment like most of the movies in large formats these days. At the very least, it is a necessary reminder that we are still sitting on the powder keg Oppenheimer and his team created, and we still need to heed his warnings, maybe now more than ever.

Oppenheimer is the most important motion picture of 2023, and maybe far beyond.'

[emergingmediaculture]

Graphic created by Kiersten W. on Canva.

Readings: Q&A: How to combat the infodemic with digital solutions to reduce health risks during the COVID-19 pandemic and beyond

Digital media and misinformation: An outlook on multidisciplinary strategies against manipulation by Danielle Caled & Mário J. Silva

How To Fight Vaccine Misinformation by Andrew Thurston

Misinformation and Mass Audiences by Brian G. Southwell, Emily A. Thorson, and Laura Sheble

The start of the COVID-19 pandemic feels both ages away and like it just happened yesterday. The pandemic itself feels as though it has disrupted our concept and flow of time. While we can constitute a large part of that to the shutdown itself, a time that seemed to last both forever and pass rather quickly, I believe it would not be incorrect to say the wave of both information and misinformation hitting us at a speed we were not used to processing at once has a part to play as well. This is what the World Health Organization has called an “infodemic” or information epidemic.

The WHO defines this as “an overabundance of information, including false or misleading information, in digital and physical environments during an emergency”. Think back to the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic before what we know now about the virus was known. There was a time when it was said the virus would be like the flu and be gone by summer. Mind you, lockdown in many states did not end until August 2020 and that was definitely not because the virus was gone. COVID-19 cases, in fact, rose (CDC) during the summer months. I am sure no one has forgotten about the myth that the use of Ivermectin, the horse medicine, is a cure for COVID-19. Let us not forget the back and forth about how the virus came to be and false claims that were spread once the vaccine came about like how it can “alter human DNA” or how it “allows the government to track you”. It can't and does not.

No matter what you believe or do not believe, false and misleading information was abundant during the pandemic and, a lot of the time, was dangerous information. During a time when social media is one of the main forms of media where anyone can post anything with no concrete facts or sources to back it up, it is no wonder this was such an issue. It has also been proven by research (research provided in the link) that “fake news spreads faster and further than real news on Twitter” so this is not surprising. Not to mention, when it comes to the social media sites that had the biggest part to play in the spread of misinformation during the COVID-19 pandemic, Twitter and Facebook sit on the throne. Even more than that, “misinformation is more impactful than the correction”, meaning the truth that comes out after fake news does not spread nearly as far as the original news did. In response to this infodemic, the WHO has “launched a variety of initiatives at global and regional levels” that include AI-based innovations for rumor tracking, multi-language fact-checking, partnerships with social media & web companies, and more.

Misinformation has existed far beyond the COVID-19 pandemic, however. There has always been misinformation regarding things such as vaccines, politics, science in general, and much more. Science, a field with concrete evidence and credible sources, is the last place, next to mathematics, that you would expect misinformation to live but it has unfortunately found a way with those with extreme views who have gone far enough to question real evidence that is backed by sources that can prove it. This has further spread to arenas like politics where political ideology and beliefs affect what someone identifies as the one truth.

Simple fact-checking across all these readings seems to be what everyone agrees to be the most effective choice throughout history. The problem, though, is that fact-checking has lost its appeal to the public. So many people are taking things at face value despite the tools being available to verify any information you may come across. I feel as though this then goes back to our previous topic of media literacy and its importance. What role does media literacy play in helping to counter misinformation? Could it really be that easy?

[college-buz]

Harvard University's popular online computer course to use AI to for grading of assignments

Harvard University's CS50 course is integrating AI into its curriculum, with plans to use the technology to grade assignments. The online education sector is set to triple in value to $348bn by 2030.

Harvard University’s renowned CS50 course, a popular introductory computer science program, is getting a ChatGPT-era makeover. Professor David J. Malan, known for his dynamic teaching style, is spearheading efforts to integrate artificial intelligence (AI) into the course curriculum, plans to use artificial intelligence to grade assignments, coding instruction, and personalized learning tips.CS50 is attended by hundreds of students on-campus and over 40,000 online.

Malan’s energetic and engaging teaching style is credited for turning dry, entry-level lectures on the basics of web development and software programming into an entertaining class full of interactive exercises. However, Malan said it faces the challenge of engaging a diverse student body with varying levels of knowledge and experience across different time zones. Despite having over a hundred teaching assistants, it has become increasingly challenging to provide tailored support to such a large and diverse cohort.

To tackle this issue, Professor Malan and his team are meticulously fine-tuning an AI system to evaluate students’ assignments effectively. Additionally, they are testing a virtual teaching assistant (TA) that goes beyond mere error detection. The virtual TA utilizes rhetorical questions and offers insightful suggestions to facilitate the learning process for students, empowering them to improve their coding skills. Furthermore, this innovative approach is expected to provide human TAs with more time to conduct in-person or online office hours, enhancing student-teacher interactions.

“Providing support tailored to students’ specific questions has been a challenge at scale, with so many more students online than teachers,” said Malan, in a telephonic interview.

He said ,“Potentially, AI is just hugely enabling in education.”

While the integration of AI in education holds immense potential, concerns surrounding cheating and plagiarism have emerged among educators. Some educational institutions have gone as far as banning the use of AI technology. The advent of AI has also impacted online education businesses, with companies like Chegg Inc. reporting a slowdown in subscriber growth due to the popularity of OpenAI’s free chatbot.

Malan recognizes these concerns but believes that CS50’s embrace of AI can improve the quality and accessibility of online learning, aligning with industry, Grand View Research forecasts predict that the online education market will triple in value to $348 billion by 2030.

Originally a single introductory course, CS50 has evolved into a multifaceted program, amassing over 1.4 million YouTube subscribers and offering branded merchandise like stress balls and t-shirts. Over the years, more than 4.7 million people have enrolled in the course. The course is now available on the digital learning platform edX, a collaborative initiative by Harvard and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), providing individuals worldwide with access to university-level courses across diverse subjects.

While AI presents exciting opportunities, experts caution about the technology’s current developmental stage and susceptibility to errors. Recently, chief executives of leading AI companies, including OpenAI and Alphabet Inc.’s DeepMind, issued a statement warning of the “risk of extinction” associated with AI. Furthermore, ethical considerations arise concerning data collection for personalized lessons.

Emma Taylor, an analyst at GlobalData Plc, emphasizes the need for transparent data collection processes and built-in privacy measures to safeguard student privacy in AI-driven educational platforms.

[frostironfudge]

i would like a tony stark x insecure plus size reader where tony is gone for a while and his girl gains a lil bit of weight and shes afraid hell leave her for it or something like that? idk youre the writer!

The Way You Are

Pairing: Tony Stark x Plus Size!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k || Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Warnings: not canon compliant, fluff, angst, body image issues, insecure reader, overthinking, anxiety, hurt/comfort, tony comforts the reader, weight insecurities, happy ending. past in italics.

A.N: hi @lilacprincessofrecovery thank you for this request, i've been wanting to write for tony the longest time and this is my first piece with him, i hope you like it.

Main Masterlist || frostironfudge's funfair masterlist

It had been two months, you stared at the mirror and then Tony’s side of the huge wardrobe. You grabbed one of his oversized band tees. 

Thats when it happened, it fit a little too closely. Right over your stomach and sides. Not showing the curves in the best way or the way you knew Tony loved seeing you in his clothes. 

You peel the t shirt off of your body. Hanging it back and moving towards your own clothes. Then the pang of ache hits you. 

The t shirt smelled of his cologne, having you engulfed in his essence. You missed Tony. Terribly and utterly missed him. 

The news wasn’t helpful and Tony never wanted to discuss anything on the phone calls about the missions. Only speaking about you and your day and how much he missed you. 

The only respite were the videocalls and holograms of each other that Jarvis would be able to project, via the Iron Man suit for Tony and at home for you through minor enhancements made by his tinkering.

“Can’t wait to hold you in my arms again.” Tony sighed as he peeled an orange. 

“Can’t wait to be in your arms again.” You traced over his face over the screen of the StarkPad, “Are you sleeping okay? Eating okay?” You question, eyeing the orange. 

He chuckles, “Am I not appealing without my cheese burgers and shawarmas?” 

“Tony.” You shake your head, then chuckle at his pun.

“Made you laugh.” He pops the orange slice in his mouth. 

“You always do.” You admire him. 

He smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners and his dimple peeks out. 

“I really miss you.” He says once again, “Been a month an a half and I swear I think I have an addiction to you just can’t sleep.” 

“Why don’t you call me when you’re about to sleep? Could pretend to lay next to each other.” You offer frowning.  

Tony shakes his head, “Timezones, baby. Can’t have you suffer at my expense, and anyways its just a while more. Insomnia has been my best friend for far longer.” 

“Don’t let Rhodes hear you.” You laugh, he giggles. 

He eats about half the orange and then yawns. 

“You know I’m kind of sleepy.” You say, “Lay with me?” 

“Are you trying to get me to nap?” He narrows his eyes but begins moving to his bed.

“J, do your thing.” Tony requests, a hologram of him appears on the bed, your hologram stands in front of him, mimicking how you both were currently. 

“On it, Sir.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.” You say, climbing into bed, hand outstretched. Tony reaches for it as does his hologram for you. 

“You’re very welcome, Ma’am.” 

You both sigh. So close and yet so far. 

Tony does manage to fall asleep, you stay watching over him, well, his hologram. 

You grab the t shirt again, tears brim your eyes. You had just spoken to him an hour back and they were flying to another location. He would be gone for another few weeks and it was getting hard. The worry, the empty bed, the empty house which has seemingly everything and yet nothing.

“Hey Jarvis? Could you do a Body Mass Analysis for me?” You whispered stepping into the bathroom, over the calibrated tiles. 

“Ma’am, I don’t think you should.” Jarvis tries to quell your wandering thoughts. 

“Jarvis please.” You request, “Just tell me how much weight I’ve put on okay?”

“Ma’am the last time this happened, Sir was with you and I believe we need to hold off.” The AI says, you sigh. 

“Good thing I keep an analogue scale as well.” You huff retrieving it.

“Ma’am—,”

“No Jarvis. I I have time before he comes back I can shed this all,” you stand on the scale, its about a few kilograms/pounds higher than before but you know you gained more inches. 

The diet change combined with eating too much sweet to emotionally keep your worries at bay resulted in this. You poke at the rolls, missing Tony’s soft hold and warmth. He’d know what to say.

You keep clutching Tony’s shirt, “I can right?” 

“Ma’am I do not think putting yourself under duress is what Mr. Stark would want for you.” Jarvis tries to reason. 

“Do not tell him a word okay?” You say to the AI. 

Jarvis stays silent. 

“Jarvis. Please. I don’t want him worried while he is away.” You plead with the AI. 

“He always worries about you. Always requests for updates. If he knows you are struggling, he could help.” The AI’s words send a pang of guilt. 

“Ma’am, if I may, Mr. Stark always spoke highly of your beauty and still does to this date. Please try not to be hard upon yourself.” Jarvis continued, almost breaking protocol to call Tony to have him quell your increasing anxiety.

Your lips pursed as you consider his words. 

“I wasn’t, I wasn’t this big.” You mutter, then pull on the t-shirt, staring at the tightened places. If this was the situation then what would be the situation for the remaining clothes you used to fit into without being hard on your body and shape. 

“Ma’am,” Jarvis says as though he is really trying but words fail him, you watch over your features, closing your eyes when that voice inside your head begins to win and every jab at you slices through.

“Mr. Stark is attempting a video call.” Jarvis announces.

You wince, stepping out of the bathroom and grabbing the StarkPad. 

“Hey there, kitten— oh!” Tony stares at you, your mind instantly tells you he doesn’t like what he sees, all he can see is rolls of skin and nothing appealing. You know he might just not want to come back to you, maybe you should take off somewhere when he returns, maybe-

“Y/N?” Tony calls put worried, you shake your head. 

“Huh?”

“I said you look ravishing, are you teasing me?” He whispers, a smirk on his face. 

“I um,” you blush, he thinks, he thinks you’re ravishing, still. 

“God, what I’d do to be next to you, you know what it does to me seeing you in my clothes.” He bites his lip, eyes raking over you, “go on, step away let me see those gorgeous thighs and legs that wrap around my hips and head.” 

“To-tony.” You stutter but stand, his voice coaxing you.  

“Fucking gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous, fuck got me so fucking hard.” Tony takes a deep steadying breath, your face flushes and thighs clench.

“You know what is my favourite part about you wearing my clothes?” He questions, you look up, fiddling with the hem.

“Taking them off?” You tease, lifting the shirt slightly and his eyes follow your movements and then much to his dismay you walk towards the device.

“Hey! I was enjoying the view that is my girlfriend.” He pouts, making you laugh.

“Well come home and take it off.” You challenge. The voice begins to return.

“In a while, kitten. Just going to have my way with you and probably have us stay a six month vacation on an island, just you, me, ice cream,” He grins.

“And Jarvis.” You add.

“It would be my pleasure to accompany the two of you.” Jarvis pipes up and Tony shakes his head.

“Dum-E misses you.” You say, Tony sighs wistfully.

“I miss him too, I miss you more however.” He gives a sad smile, holding your gaze.

“I miss you more. Come back soon?” You request, Tony looks to the side muting the call before nodding at the person who entered his room.

“That was just Cap, we have to head out. I’ll try to be there soon okay? I love you.” He traces his fingertips over the screen.

“I love you too, Tony.” You watch as the suit is put on his face graces your screen as he speaks to you from the suit.

“You’re doing okay right?” He suddenly questions and you freeze.

“Um?”

“With everything, me being away and I just, I know you did not sign up for all of this, and I swear next time I’m not going on this long of a vacation, I miss you too much. My arms ache to be around you and my body misses your warmth.” He admits, you sigh.

“i, I’m okay, you should head out,”

“Y/N…” Tony doesn’t buy a word.

“Okay I’m not that great, it has been really hard without you.” You admit, throat tightening with emotion.

“Oh baby,” Tony looks right into your eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you. Tell me, tell me what can I do to make it better.” He pleads.

You bite your lip, blinking back tears, “You can’t.” Your resolve breaks, a sob breaks past your lips.

“Tell me, please, baby, please. I’m, I’m so sorry, I love you so much.” Tony stops mid-flight path, Jarvis announces to the others he’s hanging back. He couldn’t have you broken down this way, he had to help you.

“Come back, I know you can’t, so it, there is no point in me saying anything. I’m, I’ll be okay, I don’t want to worry you okay? i’ll talk to you tomorrow, go beat some bad guy ass.” You give a watery chuckle to distract him, wiping the stupid tears that wouldn’t stop. 

You hit end call. Requesting Jarvis to not let Tony’s calls come through, to tell him you were in the shower.

His cologne surrounds you as you stay curled up in bed, the tears don’t stop. They don’t fucking stop. You sniffle exhausted. Sleep lingers at the periphery coaxing you under. 

Dreams provide a semblance of peace, a moment of comfort, dreaming of Tony wasn’t rare. You took what your mind gave you. His lips brushing over your forehead, cheeks and his fingertips tracing along your back and sides, softly brushing under his shirt, pulling you closer. 

You feel the warmth of the arc reactor he wore the light softened for the night, hidden under the black tank he wore. You softly trace a path from his bicep to elbow, then back up.

“You’re awake?” he murmurs, you look up into his dark eyes. Tiredness overtakes his features.

“Awake?” You wince at the dryness of your throat, Tony shifts, grabbing the water bottle at the side. You take small sips handing it back.

Looking outside and then at the time it’s been ten hours since you last saw the time. You look back at Tony. Then down to where his arms were, his shirt had ridden up, your eyes brimmed with tears, at him being back or the insecurity of him leaving you couldn’t decipher.

You sit up, nerves getting the best of you.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” He wipes your tears, “I got back half an hour ago, I have breakfast too.”

“What about the mission?” You question, knots tying in your stomach.

“I needed to be here more.” He says, still stroking your cheek with his thumb.

“I’m here and I’ve got you okay? I love you, whatever is hurting you, you can tell me when you’re ready. As long as you need me to hold you I will.” He gazes into your eyes, sealing his words with a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Tony,” You blink back the tears, “Am, am i still beautiful to you?” 

The way your voice sounds so worried and so small breaks his heart.

“Kitten, you’re absolutely beautiful and gorgeous.” He says, tilting your head to meet his gaze.

“I, I couldn’t—your shirt doesn’t fit right and—,”

“I think it looks so damn sexy.” He interrupts with determination, you huff out.

“Tony.” You lose your train of thought, he gleams when you take in his words.

“Baby, your weight does not change what my heart feels for you, what my mind conjures up for you, who my hands search for in an empty, unknown bed, it is always you, it will always be you. I know these past days were hard on you, I wish I was there better. I’m here now and I want to tell you, you are perfect, don’t care what the scales say, as long as you’re healthy and happy.” He presses kisses all over your face.

“You mean that?” Your voice is still small, eyes searching to catch a lie, mind waiting to turn and twist his words but it cannot.

“Every word, every syllable. I love you for you.” He strokes your cheek.

“I love you.” You whisper.

“Want to have some Breakfast?” He question, you nod with a smile. Tony turns to the side and somehow Dum-E was bringing the arranged tray with ease.

“Best lil guy.” Tony praises and the bot whirrs happily, he pats Dum-E after taking the tray. Dum-E nudges his hand for more pats.

“Dude I’ve got my girl I need to give attention too.” Dum-E whirs and shifts towards you, distracting you from Tony.

“Oh, is that how we’re playing this?” He raises a brow at you.

You giggle, continuing to give Dum-E your attention.

You feel Tony’s hands on your sides, he shifts so you’re sitting with your back against him chest. Dum-E moves away. You snuggle against Tony’s chest. Then you freeze.

“Hey, none of those thoughts okay? I want you comfortable and cuddled up, love it when you snuggle into me and there isn’t any place for even air to get between us.” He presses his lips to your temple.

“I, it, it, is hard.” You sigh, looking up at him, turning to face him.

“One day at a time okay? I know it is hard, I also know and have seen how strong you are, your resilience and your ability to give yourself the love you shower onto me. Its okay if you are not able to be strong or give yourself love right now.” Tony strokes your cheek. 

“I’m here to do that for you.” He rests his forehead against yours, you close your eyes. 

“I love you the way you are, the way you were and the way you will be.” He says the lines said by you to him, when he questioned all his actions while struggling with his life after being taken, after New York. 

“I love you the way you are, the way you were and the way you will be.” You whisper back, his lips brush over yours, as he cups your face gently to deepen the kiss. 

permanent tags: @stevesmewmew @pandaxnienke

[girls-scenarios]

Girl Groups That Debuted in 2020

Well, we’ve finally reached the end of this crazy year. Instead of focusing on all of the negative things that happened this year, though, I’d like to take a look back on the amazing groups that debuted this year! These girl groups are all incredible and talented, and if you haven’t checked them out yet, you certainly should now! - Admin Kiwi

Cignature

Cignature is a seven member girl group under J9 Entertainment that debuted on February 3rd with their single Nun Nu Nan Na. From left to right the members are Chaesol, Seline, Jeewon, Sunn, Belle, Ye Ah, and Semi, many members who were former members of the girl group Good Day. Since their debut they’ve had two comebacks with ASSA and Arisong. Their music is fun, bright, and loud, and all of them are extremely talented. They’re probably my favorite girl group to debut in a while and I just want everyone to love them as much as I do!

Secret Number

Secret Number is a five member girl group under VINE Entertainment that debuted on May 15th with their song Who Dis? The group consists of members Denise, Dita, Soodam, Jinny, and Léa. They recently had a comeback with the song Got That Boom. I’d recommend checking out their Privacy and Holiday performance videos to see more of their music. I think most of you probably know about Secret Number, especially since their girl crush debut was such a success, but they’re definitely a group to keep an eye on going into 2021.

Weeekly

Weeekly is a seven member girl group under Play M Entertainment that debuted on June 30th with the title song Tag Me (@Me) on their debut album We Are. The group consists of members Jiyoon, Zoa, Soojin, Soeun, Jaehee, Monday, and Jihan. They’re Apink’s little sister group and member Jiyoon has already produced multiple songs for the group, including the song My Earth, about climate change and saving the earth. They have an upbeat and fresh sound that they once again showed with their most recent comeback Zig Zag!

Aespa

I’m sure you all have already heard about aespa, but they’re a four member girl group that just debuted on November 17th under SM Entertainment with the song Black Mamba. The group consists of members Giselle, Winter, Karina, and NingNing, and they created quite a stir with their concept of not only having secret members (perhaps trainees to be added later?) but also having other AI/avatar selves from an alternate universe. They’re already killing it and I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store for them!

STAYC

STAYC is a six member girl group under High Up Entertainment who just made their debut on November 12th with their single album Star To A Young Culture and the song So Bad. The group consists of members Yoon, Sieun, J, Seeun, Sumin, and Isa. This is another group you might have already seen around as they became popular quite literally overnight. You might also recognize Sieun from her acting career, as she’s acted in shows like “Mystic Pop-Up Bar” and “Still 17.″ If you want to hear a little bit more of their sound, I’d recommend watching the performance video for their song Like This.

LUNARSOLAR

LUNARSOLAR is a four member girl group under JPlanet Entertainment that debuted on September 2nd with their song Oh Ya Ya Ya. This group has previously been known as Rookie Planet and First Love. The group consists of members Yuuri, Eseo, Jian, and Taeryeong. Taeryeong (Lim Jungmin) was on both Produce 101 and Mixnine, so she might seem familiar to some of you. Their debut song was refreshing and upbeat and I hope to see more of them next year!

Bling Bling

Bling Bling (or BlingBling, it seems to be stylized both ways) is a six member girl group under MAJOR9 Entertainment that debuted on November 17th with their single album G.G.B. The group consists of members Narin, Juhyun, Yubin, Marin, Jieun, and Ayamy. They debuted with a girl crush concept but with a latin spin on their music that seems to have made them pretty popular in South America, especially in Brazil if their comments are anything to go off of. I was actually very pleasantly surprised and I found myself playing both G.G.B and their b-side La La La over and over after they debuted. Their sound is definitely something that I haven’t seen explored in Kpop before and I’m excited to see how they grow in 2021!

Woo!Ah!

Woo!Ah! is a five member girl group under NV Entertainment that debuted on May 13th with their single album Exclamation and the title song Woo!Ah! as six members. Unfortunately member Songyee left the group due to personal issues, but the group now consists of members Lucy, Sora, Nana, Minseo, and Wooyeon. They also have a very fun sound and you might have seen Woo!Ah! going a bit viral on Kpop tiktok recently. Their most recent comeback was with Bad Girl, a song that has once again gone a bit viral on tiktok for the unique, especially in Indonesia. I would also recommend checking out their song Payday, my personal favorite by them so far!

CRAXY

CRAXY is a five member girl group under S.A INTAINMENT that debuted on March 3rd with their full-length album My Universe and the title track Aria. The group consists of members Wooah, Karin, Swan, Hyejin, and ChaeY. The song Aria received attention after it’s release for being... interesting and unique, to say the least. I’ll admit, on the first listen I didn’t like the song, but it definitely grew on me and I enjoy watching them perform it. Unfortunately they haven’t released any comeback since but they have been active doing covers on their YouTube channel so you could definitely check them out there!

REDSQUARE

REDSQUARE is a five member girl group under About Entertainment that debuted on May 19th with their song Colorfull. The group consists of members Lina, Ari, Green, ChaeA, and Bomin, and all of the members other than Lina were also former members of the girl group Good Day with members of Cignature. Since the group is under a smaller entertainment company, their debut unfortunately didn’t get the attention it deserved. However, Colorfull is not only an amazing song, but the music video is incredibly artistic and aesthetic. I’d really recommend you check these girls out and I hope they have a comeback soon.

BLACKSWAN

BLACKSWAN is a four member girl group under DR Music that debuted on November 10th as five members with Tonight. Unfortunately the group was already hit with controversy (much like Rania, the group BLACKSWAN “replaced” and some of the members were a part of) and member Hyeme left the group. The remaining members are Youngheun, Leia, Fatou, and Judy. While the future of this group seems to be up in the air, I would totally recommend listening to Tonight, because it’s an absolute bop, just like all the Rania songs come before.

KEEMBO

Last but not least, KEEMBO is a duo under Ara-Line that debuted on April 10th with their song Thank You, Anyway. The duo consists of Boa and Bohyung, both former members of the girl group SPICA and absolute vocal powerhouses! I was so excited to see them give music another chance because their voices are absolutely amazing. Since their debut, they’ve released a handful of songs, including Scandalous, 99 (Gu Gu), and most recently Scene. There isn’t a single bad song and I would encourage you all to check them out. Scandalous and 99(Gu Gu) are upbeat and bright summer songs while Thank You, Anyway is a ballad and Scene is a bit darker and more sultry in tone. If you’re looking for good vocals and good music, KEEMBO is where to find them.

[madyhatter381953]

Charles Vane x Reader

A/N: Please do not plagiarize, all my work is my own and has been posted across multiple fanficfikn websites.

Info: Y/N is Charles's ex. He left her without a word but when she docks in Nassau a well established captain she has a plan to get him back for all those years ago.

Warnings: Partial smut and Language.

~♡~

Y/N's P.O.V

"We'll dock at Nassau." I pointed to the port on a map that lay sprawled across the big wooden desk in my cabin.

"Um, Captain..." The Quartermaster was a young woman I had met many years ago when I had joined my first crew. She had quickly become my most trusted ally.

"Yes?" I tilted my head to the side as she shifted uncomfortably.

"You are aware that's where... Charles Vane does his trading?" Her voice got higher at the end of her sentence. My first thought was to turn tail and sail in the other direction, not wanting to see that man again. I am not the same girl I was 6 years ago. I had grown up and matured to become one of the most feared pirates of the age. 

I would go to Nassau and he wouldn't know what hit him.

6 years ago 

"Charles!" I exclaimed happily as I ran down the cobblestone street towards the tall, strong man who stood at the end arms open. As I reached him I lept into his arms as he lifted me with ease spinning me around.

"Hey, Doll." I breathed in his masculine scent. He had been out sailing for over a month.

"I missed you." He lowered me back to the ground as he slammed his lips down on mine. His arms snaked around my waist pulling me tightly into his muscular chest.

"Mmmm I've waited far to long to do this." There was a glint in his eyes as he scooped me into his arms carrying me back up the street and into the small house we shared when he wasn't off sailing.

"Charles!" I shrieked and giggled as he closed the door behind us lowering me onto the floor. I laughed as he hovered over me. We lay sprawled on the hard floor. I moaned as his lips danced down my throat.

"Well somebody's excited." I panted as he pulled his shirt over his head and made quick work of my dress pulling it down. He untied my corset with inhuman speed before his calloused hands ran down my frame. His intense kiss lowered farther down as his tongue danced down my chest.

"Vane!" I shrieked as his fingers slid under my panties. He groaned he had always had a soft spot for his last name.

~♡~

I felt incredibly sore as I rolled over. Why was the bed so hard? I groaned as I opened my eyes to be eye level with the cold floor. Why was I on the floor? The ache between my legs brought back memories of last night. Charles coming back our night on the floor. As I sat up looking around I noticed there was no sign of the pirate who I had spent the night with.

"Charles?" I called out. No answer. I got to my feet and looked around the small house. No Charles. Where did he go? I got dressed and stepped out onto the street.

"Wilma!" I caught the attention of my middle aged neighbour.

"Y/N? What can I help you with." She was such a sweet woman.

"Um the man I was with yesterday. Do you know where he went?" I tried to avoid the topic of him being a thief and a pirate.

"Oh I saw him this morning down on the docks. Y/N I'm so sorry I don't think that young man is coming back." She continued down the street leaving me standing alone.

He left?

Present day

I hadn't seen him any day since. And to say it stung was an understatement. He left me to wonder what had gone wrong? What had I done? I pushed the last thoughts away. I didn't do anything wrong he's the one who left me.

"Get the boats in the water!" I shouted as people rushed around the ship readying the row boats to shuttle us to the docks.

"Hello Nassau." I grinned evilly as I breathed in the salty air.

Charles's P.O.V

I lifted a barrel resting it on my shoulder and I made my way to the dock. I was helping my crew unload the barrels of whale oil we had scavenged from our last plunder and restock with fresh supplies. The sun was high in the sky as I wiped sweat from my brow.

"Dam check out the Dame." A man pointed out over the water to where a row boat was being ferried in. A H/C (hair colour) woman sat at the front her hair blowing in the wind. There was something familiar about the way the woman held herself. As the boat got closer I couldn't help but watch the woman step out of the boat first, brushing a lock of her hair back.

Then it hit me.

Y/N.

Oh shit.

Y/N's P.O.V

I saw the way Charles had been eyeing me since we hit the dock. I grinned to myself as I made my way up the dock and towards the shirtless pirate that had abandoned me. I saw him visibly flinch and back away as I made my way towards him. Without even glancing at him I walked by not giving him a second look.

"Y/N?" I heard someone mutter and I turned to see Jack pale as a sheet and looking like he had seen a ghost. I gave him a curt nod as he stared at me. I hid the sly grin I could feel making its way across my face.

This was going to be fun.

~♡~

Charles's P.O.V

"So it's true then, Y/N is in Nassau." A low voice spoke from behind me. I turned in my seat at the bar to come face to face with none other than my old mentor, Edward Teach.

"Yeah she docked yesterday mid-day." Looking away I refocused my attention on my mug of ail.

"You never mentioned she was a captain." I thought I could hear a hint of amusement in his voice.

"She wasn't." I wanted this conversation to be over. All those years ago I hadn't planned on leaving her alone on the floor.

"I see. So why did you leave her?" I shook my head slightly lightheaded from the couple drinks I had downed. I turned to leave ignoring his question.

"You were in love with the lass ai?" I stopped in my tracks for a split second before heading to the door and out onto the street.

"Yes." I whispered to myself as the cold breeze hit my face. I had run 6 years ago because it had taken until that night to realise I was in love with her. I had been afraid of committing to one person, afraid the authorities would find out and use her against me, at the time she had been a law abiding citizen who had caught feelings for a pirate. And then of course there was Eleanor. I shook my head, Eleanor had been my second chance to get what I had with Y/N but she could never love me the way I loved her.

"What the..." I hadn't noticed where I had been going while I was lost in my thoughts but I found myself standing in front of one of the inns rooms. The room Jack had seen Y/N going in and out of. I turned on my heal and began to make my way back down the hall.

"Charles?" I froze.

Y/N's P.O.V

There had been a noise outside my room so I opened the door. No one was there but as I looked down the hall I saw his tall muscular form retreating away.

"Charles?" I had spoke before I had time to think it threw. He froze and hesitated a moment before rotating around to face me.

"Y/N." He regarded me showing very little emotion.

"What are you doing here?" He took a few steps towards me while I closed my room door behind me so we were both standing in the hall.

"I could ask you the same thing." He leaned back against the wall. I swallowed hard. His voice had been the thing that had made me look twice at him. It sent shivers down my spine as all the things that voice had whispered into my ear came flooding back.

"I'm rooming here." I said as if he was dumb. I mean what else are inns for?

"I meant in Nassau." He squinted at me.

"Trading, same as everyone else." He arched his eyebrow.

"Now why are you here?" I asked crossing my arms to stop myself from reaching out.

"I live here." I sighed shaking my head.

"No, why are you at my door?" I gave a small knock on the old wood to emphasise. I saw him tense for a moment as the calm mask he was hiding behind slipped for a moment.

"Why did you turn to pirating?" He swiftly changed the topic. Fine it's not like it mattered, he was at my door now anyways.

"Don't think I didn't notice you skirt the question. About 5 years ago, I felt like changing things up so I joined a crew and 3 years later was captain." He seemed shocked it wasn't often someone could climb the ranks that fast.

"Why did you leave?" I hadn't meant to say it but as I watched him I felt anger and hurt bubble up inside me.

"I-" he stuttered. The great Charles Vane was having trouble putting a sentence together. I could see an internal battle going on in his eyes.

"Job opportunities." It was so unconvincing I would have laughed if I hadn't been so furious. I took a deep breath attempting to hide the fury twisting in my gut.

"Bullshit!" And that failed. I stepped forward moving my arm subconsciously until it made contact with his chizzeld jaw. I felt a burn in my knuckles as I retook my previous position at the door while he stumbled taken by surprise.

"Ow." His voice was low and filled with venom as he rubbed his jaw. I felt most of my anger settle down allowing me to think clearly again. I had to admit that had been rather therapeutic. 

"I'll ask you again. Why did you leave?" I was going to get the answer to the question that had been haunting me for 6 years even if it was the last thing I'd do.

"You've got a mean swing." He was still rubbing his jaw as he propped himself back against the wall.

"Charles." There was a warning in my voice.

"Fine, I deserved that." He took a deep breath.

"I left because... because I was in love with you." He crossed his arms across his chest as he waited for me to reply.

"What?" I began to laugh.

"You were in love with me so you decided to leave me!" It really want that funny but I mean I had waited 6 years for that?!

"I don't see how this is funny." He brought himself to a standing position as I hunched over my eyes beginning to water. I didn't either but at the moment it was the funniest thing I had ever heard.

"I-I know it j-just- pfffft." I was laughing so hard I felt my stomach begin to ache.

"I said stop." I had clearly hit a nerve because he stepped forward pinning me against the door.

"Oh yeah what are you going to do about it?" I was really trying not to laugh but a few hiccups escaped as I tried to calm down. Before I knew what had happened his lips had crashed down against mine. I froze my laughter forgotten. I could feel the heat radiating off his tall body. I could feel myself drowning in the kiss as I began to move my lips in time with his. I felt the space between us vanish as he stepped closer and I snaked my arms around his neck.

"I was afraid of how easy the decision to stay with you in that small house would have been." He whispered his alcohol laced breath ran across my face.

"I never would have asked you to stay with me. I knew you belonged out here." I twisted a piece of his long hair around my fingers.

"No but I'll ask you. Will you stay with me here in Nassau? Try this again. Give me a chance to make it up to you." His hand gripped my waist as I pulled him down into another earth shattering kiss.

"Yes." I grinned into the kiss.

"For the record I always like you more than that Eleanor woman." A voice came from down the hall. I pulled away to see an older man with a black beard. Was that Edward Teach? I heard Charles snicker as he pulled the door to my room open pulling me inside and out of the hall. The man at the end of the hall chuckled.

The End

[jalebi-likes]

Lo ji hum aa gaye to ask youuuuuu, ki kaun hai aapke sabse overrated/underrated actors in Indian cinema!!!!! The more detail the better!!!!!! 🤪🤪🤪

TT-JI, HUMRI TT-JI AI GAWA!!!! 

I’m going to include tellywood too, lol. 

And yes, I’m not going to include the traditional ‘overrated/underrated’ based on box office - just my personal opinions! 

This was too long hence rest is under cut!

Hindi Cinema

Overrated:

- Kartik Aaryan (I really need to see him act in a film beyond the PKP/ Middle class Indian setups to see him... act)

- Aamir Khan (ok DON’T kill me, I just feel that Aamir Khan alone is given a lot of credit for working in films that are great as a team. Rang De Basanti, Dangal, 3 Idiots are brilliant films and he was fab in it, but I also want the audience to realize those films had great directors, writers, co actors too. I think his ‘perfectionism’ is overrated. He’s brilliant - but please don’t give him the sole credit of being ‘perfect’ when it’s an amazing collective effort.)

- Varun Dhawan (this man has potential [October, Badlapur]. But please... stop with all the Badrinath, Dulhaniya, Judwaa... just please stop)

- Jhanvi Kapoor/Ananya Pandey (I have no idea how she scored a biopic for her second film. Sis has a long way. These two are combined together because these two think they’re amazing actors and that gets on my nervesssssssss).

- Tara Sutaria (She’s... decent. She’s in this list because she literally gave an interview of how ‘nowadays’ film actors don’t have nazakat [which she had to bring for Marjaawan] behen pleaj.)

- Kiara Advani (Why is she everywhere? Why was her performance hailed in Kabir Singh where she was... empty (won’t blame her, her character was written like that) but literally she’s suddenly become a top actress and I can’t figure out why. The one film of hers that was nice and tested some acting chops was Guilty but literally that film was for her. Good Newwz was a nice shift for her too.) 

- Deepika Padukone (Okay, don’t kill me again. She’s a really good actor but she is a director’s actor. Again, like Aamir Khan she is someone who benefits from a good team even though the whole credit is sometimes given to her (why). Personal opinion, in Padmaavat and Bajirao Mastani Aditi Rao Hydari and Priyanka’s Kashibai had my heart and soul). 

- Kangana Ranaut (Great actor, stupid opinions overshadow her good ones, terrible PR and as an actor she, again, benefits from a great team and a lot of that credit she takes upon herself and I’m like why...)

- Disha Patani (Amazing model, decent actor. Period)

Underrated:

Not taking Kunal Khemu, Aditi Rao Hydari, Pankaj Tripathi, Vinay Pathak, Prateik Babbar, Ronit Roy, Ram Kapoor and so on - we know they’re underrated. 

- Shahrukh Khan (yes, I know. A lot of people just don’t recognize that he is a fantastic actor and it pisses me that a lot of capable directors, when working with him, want to make ‘BIG FILMS’ or are swayed by his stardom than actually giving him a good script. Ugh just give him Badla or Andhadhun and you’d see)

- Abhishek Bachchan (I find it funny when they compare him to his father cause Amitabh Bachchan is a good actor... now. And ABjr really acts from his soul and is far more competent compared to his contemporaries. If I’m surprised at any actor not getting work then it’s him)

- Avinash Tiwari (Laila Majnu... goddamn he gave a performance that rivaled Ranbir Kapoor’s Rockstar and I’m shocked how he didn’t even get a fifth of that recognition).  

- Arshad Warsi (this is someone who’s finally getting his due but man... he is such a phenomenal actor that my heart literally breaks to see him in crappy Hindi films. He is fab. Simply fab. Jolly LLB is one of the few films that give him due as a comedy actor as well as a serious one). 

- Riteish Deshmukh (This man is pure gold. He can make one laugh and be terrified at once. Does not get his due!)

- Radhika Apte (I’ve never seen her not ace a role. Yet I feel she’s quick to be typecast *sigh*)

- Sushant Singh Rajput (forever salty that he got his due after he died, ugh - easily one of the best actors of his generation)

Tellywood

Overrated (I’m so going to get roasted)

- Divyanka Tripathi (Don’t kill me! I feel she does one thing very well. Not the most versatile.)

- Karan Kundra (Definitely a decent actor but I do feel he’s a tad bit overrated).

- Vivian D’Sena (Again, I feel he’s good in one kind of acting - again I did watch a lot of PKYEK as well as Madhubala so I do like him but again, not really versatile).

- Dheeraj Dhoopar (I’m probs out to get hate comments but listen me out, his random hair and fashion statements take my complete attention from whatever acting he does, and also he’s stuck in Kundali Bhagya so...)

- Mouni Roy (I don’t know, she used to be a brilliant actor in the beginning and as days passed her acting became more bland? I was so taken by her as Sati in Devon Ke Dev Mahadev but now when I see her in films and shows I wonder where that Mouni has gone tbh).

- Nia Sharma (I’ve seen her in a few shows/web series and I feel she does one kind of acting well. Her dialogue delivery and expressions are often identical across several shows)

Underrated 

- Barun freaking Sobti (he is one of the most talented actors I have seen in my life. His eyes, dialogue delivery, tonal shift, body language - but he is like a sponge. If he’s with a good team, there’s none like him. I can’t believe it took him nearly a decade for people to spot him and even then I don’t understand why he’s not considered an ‘A’ lister).

- Sanaya Irani (this woman is completely different in every show. Honestly, when I saw her in Rangrasiya I was stunned. Her Paro was so delicate, strong, layered - wonderful. It’s very difficult to take your eyes away from her. She’s magnetic.) 

- Deepika Kakkar (honestly I didn't think much of her during her Simar days but when I saw Kahaan Hum Kahaan Tum I was shocked at how a talented actor like her was locked in that show. She is so emotive and phenomenal!) 

-  Vikram Singh Chauhan (that guy, seriously he is genuinely a very good actor and is more than capable of carrying a show on his shoulders! Subtle, smart and great on screen presence.)

- Varun Badola (often referred as a veteran, this man is great not just because of his vast experience but due to his amazing acting prowess. He reminds me of theatre!)

- Rajeev Khandelwal (no words can justify this man’s talent! He is underrated, period!)

- Jennifer Winget (I am so glad that she got her much needed claim with the Beyhadh series! She is such a fine actor and she needs to be more on screen, literally. Her shift between seriousness and humor is so good.)

Phew, that was a long answer! Hope I didn't offend too many people! 

Love,

- Baby J

[saintobio]

Ai, I am 100% being honest when I say that your r&j fic has to be be one of my favorite pieces yet. Just everything about it as a whole, even though I am able to recite romeo & juliet and macbeth drunk due to how many times i have read it and will keep reading i already knew how it was going to end, however the fact that you took your time to incorporate modern english, adding changes from the original story and throwing in your own twists making the story even more tragic, aND THE WHOLE TOJI USING MEGUMI’S LOVE AS A PAWN?? I BAWLED MY EYES OUT.

THE SCENE WHERE SATORU COMFORTS MC IN THE DUNGEON AND MC SEES HIS TRUE NATURE?? MAAM I CRIED EVEN HADDER I COULD BARLEY EVEN SEE MY PHONE SCREEN

THE ENDING WITH FERAL CHILD MEGUMI GRIEVING AND GOING A LITTLE OFF THE DEEP END IN THE CHURCH WHERE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED AND THEN WENT STABBY MODE?? AT THAT POINT MY SISTER TEXTED ME TO STOP CRYING SO LOUDLY

I loved the way you used the characters and as the reader being able to see those said characters in those be in positions (i.e. Satoru as a caring narcissistic prince/older brother waiting in line for power in order to ensure change from the traditional monarchy and tyrant that are their parents, Toji the tyrant coming into power and using any and all available pawns, including his son and his feelings, in order to ensure the downfall of the Gojō family to gain its power as a King, i can keep going but this is starting to get too long lol) It had reminded me why I love with your writing all over again and i hope you could do another historical or royal inspired au in the near future

(this kinda long lol sorry TLDR: me simping on main for your writing)

once again you have blessed our feeds with your writing, and all i can say is hand in marriage please 😌🤲

stoppp i actually am crying thanks so much for reading r+j !! it’s also my fav piece so far bc i enjoyed the concept + the early modern english it’s nothing like my other fics so it’s very new to me. and plsss ?? i’m so glad to know that you liked it 😭 also when u pointed out all the details i’ve put such as toji taking advantage of megumi’s love (pain) and then satoru trying to pull a macbeth for a good cause lmao i loved reading ur rant i’ll def keep this close to my heart

and NOW ok i was crying but then i checked the memes and i cant stop laughingjfnj THESE MEMES ARE MAD FUNNY ESP THE YUUTA ONES ?? PLSSJD ILY !!

then you decided to hurt me when you added this pic bc now i’m thinking abt how this is megumi when he walked towards y/n’s deathbed on the tenth act and like he just gives up bc the girl he loves is gone and i’m in so much pain god

anyways thanks again for reading and for sharing ur excitement w me !! <33 i highly appreciate it :’)

[kobayashi-aika]

Before “a new departure”—Kobayashi Aika, Takatsuki Kanako, Furihata Ai’s five years with Aqours (Translated Interview)

For simplicity’s sake, each seiyuu’s line indicators will be denoted as either F(urihata), K(obayashi), or T(akatsuki).

TL: arb TLC: xIceArcher QC: Mega, Yujacha

All nine of us are a little different, but put us together and we become Aqours

—It’s the 5th anniversary of Love Live Sunshine’s school idol group Aqours. The “Aqours 5th Anniversary Jimo Ai! Take Me Higher Project” is now underway, including the series’ first dome tour. But first, please tell us your impressions about the Dome Tour’s theme song, “Fantastic Departure!”.

T: (joyfully) It feels like “the sea”! (laughs)

F: A whale?

T: A dolphin?

All 3: (all having fun) Yeah, yeah, yeah! (laughs)

K: That’s the part that leaves an impression on you, right?

T: It’s easy to think of what it would look like at the concert, right? Like, you...

K: Like getting beckoned by a dolphin to ride a whale? (laughs)

F: The new songs totally have a sea motif, which is something we’ve surprisingly never had before.

K: “Fantastic Departure!” has lots of back-and-forth lyrics, so the image of everyone [in the audience] singing comes to mind. It’s making me excited for the concerts.

F: It’ll definitely be a really nice song live.

T: It feels like every year, our new songs keep getting more difficult.

K: Right, right.

F: [This song has] quite a lot of low parts, right?

T: The A melody is low, but the chorus is high.

K: I think it’s also because we’ve become an Aqours that can take on these kinds of challenges. Our cooler sides can start showing.

T: Recently, our songs have stopped sounding anime song-ish, but in a good way. We’ve had a lot of songs that are somewhere in between anime songs and J-pop — a very “Aqours-like” place.

K: The genre is “Aqours”!

T: A stylish feel...?

K: Stylish sound!

T, F: Ahaha!

F: The lyrics are packed with an Aqours-like feeling, and the song has a stylish sound!

—What were some of your favorite lines during the recording?

K: I like Hanamaru’s “Where is it? Where is it?”

T: Hey! (laughs) Recently, my habit’s been getting worse every time we record...

K: You noticed? (laughs)

F: (while looking at K and T) Those two often record first. I listen to their voices while I record.

K: When I listen to Hanamaru-chan singing, I can find lots of parts that I really like.

T: I want to listen to all of the individual versions once. When we’re recording, we don’t know who will get which part, so there are phrases we approach differently. Everyone has their own unique ideas, so it’s exciting to hear them and think “Ah, so that’s how they’re singing it!”

K: They’re releasing the solo albums (Aqours First Solo Concert Album), right?

T, F: Right! That’s great.

F: I want everyone to hear how much we’ve all grown. The nine of us are all different, but the moment you put us together and we become Aqours is amazing.

K: And speaking of the “Fantastic Departure!” lyrics, the “A fantastic departure” phrase had a pretty difficult rhythm.

T: I know~. The rhythm was really tight.

K: Right. I could really get used to that.

F: It’s a little nerve-wracking thinking we’ll have to perform that live, huh?

Hata Aki-san’s lyrics really represent Aqours’ feelings

—In the B-side “Aqours Pirates Desire”, you have the “Dan-Da-Dan//We’ll steal it!” part. It’s a really addicting song.

All 3: (joyfully) Dan-Da-Dan!

K: You like that part, right, Kanako?

T: Right, I love the world view. I also love the “Dan-Da-Dan” and the “Da-Dan Da-Dan” parts.

—How was the recording?

All 3: (smiling) It was really fun!

F: There were a lot of “Dan-Da-Dan”s, so it was really fun.

K: But it feels like I’ll mess it up at some point, so I’m a little worried about the concerts. (laughs)

F: You might end up repeating the wrong one.

T: I’m excited for the choreography and the costumes! I want to have some accessories on it.

F: Some pirate accessories?

K: Oh, right! I thought we would have taiko drums! (laughs)

T: Just call them regular drums! (laughs)

F: There’s that line, “Beat the signal drum“. (laughs)

K: Everyone doing it together!

T: We might just have a performance like that (laughs).

F: I like the (singing) “The red flag of freedom//will part the wind for you to run“ part.

T, K: I know, right?

T: Then there’s “(A black skull and crossbones//The wild seas)//We’ll overcome it～～♪ “, and it gets really low after.

K: Is that the lowest Aqours has ever gone?

F: Maybe! Both songs are really cool. They’ve got a lot of really powerful lyrics like “Plunder” or “We’ll steal it! “.

T: “Fantastic Departure!” and “Aqours Pirates Desire” make for a strong combination. Both give the feeling of strength on the seas. I think they’ll be popular songs at the concerts.

K: They seem really exciting. [The fans] will probably like them.

—In what ways do you feel the charm of Hata Aki-san’s lyrics?

K: The lyrics often represent our feelings. In these two songs, there’s “A fantastic departure”, “A huge world//A vast world is waiting for us “, and “Search for it“. All of which really symbolize the current Aqours.

T: Recently, it feels like we’re walking down a path Hata-sensei created. It feels like she’s guiding us towards the future.

F: Even if we haven’t fully grasped the lyrics by the time we record, as time passes, we come to realize that “this is what Hata-sensei was talking about.” We sing a lot of songs about how we’ll feel in the future. Like, “Hata-sensei was already thinking this far into the future with her lyrics”. And as time passes, the appeal of those lyrics start to sink in.

K: Very deep.

T: Yup, very deep.

“It’s thanks to Aqours that we’re back” μ's words were really moving

—Going back in time a bit, Love Live! Fes was held in January 2020. You overcame the “walls” of the franchise to perform together with μ's and the Nijigasaki High School Idol Club. In particular, you were all able to make the dream of standing on the same stage as μ's come true. Looking back, how was that? 

F: It was really... I’m glad we did it. (She seems deeply emotional)

T: (lost for words) Wow... It truly was...

K: (while deeply nodding) Yeah...

F: The thing we’ve always been wishing for these five years finally came true.

K: We've been wishing for it for so long... while it was a goal, we also ended up thinking it would be a dream that would never come true. So it made us really, really happy. 

T: The Love Live! series’ 9th anniversary project gave us a lot of chances to interact with μ's and the Nijigasaki High School Idol Club, so we had a lot of chances to speak with them. μ's gave us some very kind words.

“It’s because Aqours has been doing these concerts and other activities that we, too, could come back here.” When they said that... it was so touching. They really were watching us. It made me so happy.

K, F: (nodding)

—If I might ask, were there any other happenings with μ's?

K: We had a sort of photoshoot after Fes, right?

F: Was it after Day 1?

K: We came on stage to take a group photo, and afterwards it turned into one.

T: And then it turned into free time?

K: Right. Photo time started. It was sort of like at a theme park, when...

—Sort of like when you meet the mascot characters?

K: That’s right. (laughs) Everyone was lining up, and going “Please take a photo with me”. Well, except for Aqours.

—Except for Aqours? 

K: Everyone in Aqours was a little gun-shy. μ's are pretty much goddesses... they’re like something out of a dream, so we all thought “Is it really okay for us to be this happy?”, and started acting really shifty. (laughs)

—To have them right in front of you...

K: We stiffened up. (laughs)

F: Even when they said it was okay, we still didn’t go. We turned into regular old otakus. (laughs). But I think Komiya (Arisa)-san took the initiative and went over to the other groups.

—When μ's came on stage, were you in awe?

T: We felt the mood in the arena change in an instant. It was the moment that so many people who came were waiting for; it felt just like a holy atmosphere.

K: I couldn’t stop my goosebumps. The arena started shaking. It really was.

T: It felt like it’d be alright if they just stood there doing nothing. At the end of Day 2, Aqours went after μ's, and after the audience was engulfed in orange light for “Snow halation”, we came out on our ship. We felt just like pirates.

K: When I saw that orange light reflecting off the ceiling, I thought “Ah...” And when we came out, it changed into a sea of blue, and I went “Ah...” again. It was really moving.

Eating natto rice... it’s freedom before the live starts!

—Aqours also debuted their new song “Mitaiken HORIZON” at Love Live! Fes. The trio units of CYaRon!, AZALEA, and Guilty Kiss also performed, right?.

T: Debuting a song, and especially as the first song at Fes, was pretty nerve-wracking. The “Mitaiken HORIZON” costumes are cute, and it’s really in sync with the PV, so we really wanted to kick things off with a “This is Aqours!” kind of performance. It really was an honor to be able to debut it there at Fes.

F: CYaRon! was the first subunit, and because there were a lot of groups performing at Fes, some people might not know CYaRon!. So we were really enthusiastic about giving it our all.

But when we got on stage, the entire arena was really warm and welcoming. So while we were dancing, we were thinking that “Love Live! is really amazing.” That warmth is one of the good points about the fans.

K: Some of Guilty Kiss’ songs make you want to do the “Guilty Kiss!” call, even if you don’t know us. (laughs) Even the first timers do the “Guilty Kiss!” with everyone. So I feel like everyone will remember us. Or at least their mouths will remember us from the calls. (laughs)

T, F: Just their mouths? (laughs)

K: Mouths that blow Guilty Kisses. (laughs) On the grand stage of Love Live! Fes, we were able to show the greatness of the Love Live! series as both the Aqours that worked so hard to get here and as our subunits..

—How do you spend your time backstage? Is there anything you always do before every live?

K: It’s just the huddle up, right?

T: We’re quite free, huh? And then there are people who eat a lot of natto. (laughs)

K: Natto and egg rice is the fad. Pretty much everyone is eating it, right?

T, F: Yeah, yeah.

K: On live days, you have to do that. My mouth will remember the taste.

T, F: (laughs)

T: Having the chocolate fondue from catering was so nice!

K: I was so happy! It was white chocolate, right?

T: I was like, “Do you think I can drink this chocolate?”, and Komiya Arisa-chan went, “I said the exact same thing earlier.” (laughs)

K: We’re all just talking about food. (laughs) Some things never change. But when showtime comes, we flip a switch, right?

F: That’s right. Our liveliness has an on/off switch. Speaking of which, (Osaka) Shizuku-chan (Maeda Kaori) gave us all chocolate. It was the kind with a message on the back, and she wrote messages like “Ganbaruby!” for everyone. It was really cute.

K: We wouldn’t normally do something like that, huh? (laughs)

F: Right. So it was really cool.

T: The only thing we think about is eating. (laughs)

The first years’ strong point is being able to feel “at home”. We can be ourselves around each other

—There have been a lot of subunit activities recently, but this interview is with your year group. How would you sum up the first years’ strong point in a phrase?

K: (happily:) We get along!

T: (smiling:) Yup.

F: Like a place to come home.

—A place to come home?

F: We’re all in different units, but when we’re together as first years, I really feel at home and at ease. That’s the atmosphere when I’m with everyone.

K: It’s like you’re “at home”.

F: “At home”! Yeah, that’s it.

T: It’s simple, but fun. Enjoy!

K: We can just be ourselves.

F: We can mess around and have fun. The first years have lots of very energetic songs, and the three of us all play around with each other and enjoy, so concerts are always really fun too.

T: We’re like a box of toys.

F: And I think that’s great. The second years are very serious, and the third years give off this mature and calm vibe, and we have an energetic and casual style. But of course, I really respect the other year groups.

K: And we have that underclassman vibe.

T: We’re the moodmakers, too!

—I definitely can see that. While talking to the three of you, I’ve felt strangely relaxed and at ease.

All 3: (together) That’s great! (laughs) At home.

—Tell me about some times when you’ve felt the bond between you three.

All 3: Our bond, huh?

K: We’ve never had those kinds of emotional moments. (laughs)

T, F: Yeah. (laughs)

F: But when we debuted “Mitaiken Horizon”, I somehow felt... glad that we were the first years. (doing the choreography) Like in the “Let’s give today everything we’ve got”, where the three of us form a triangle and dance with our arms out, and we look into each other's' eyes as we sing. That part is really touching. It made me think, “Ah, we’ve really grown.”

K, T: Yeah, yeah. That’s true.

K: It’s nice that the first years are always in the center for “Mitaiken Horizon”!

T: I’m glad that the three of us are always together.

F: Our singing parts are also all together, and it feels really powerful.

T: Even so, in the chorus, we’re the ones who have to bring the energy. (laughs)

F: Right, the “More!” “More!” “Yeah!” parts. (laughs)

K: Usually, the first years (when dividing the lines in songs) are in charge of the extra lines. Like the “Fu!”s. Those energetic parts are very “first year”.

—Between the three of you, who’s the mature one, or the one who can help you when you’re in a pinch?

All 3: (together) Eh... none of us are really the mature one?

F: We really feel like we’re in the same year. That’s pretty much how we are with each other. But I’m the one who gets teased, and (looking at T) she’s the teasing type.

K: (while pointing at herself) I tease and get teased. Even when the other years are ignoring us, we feel like we’re always energetic. The first years are always just going off and doing whatever. (laughs) We pretend to be clueless, but we’re always watching our surroundings while we play around... I think.

T: And the helper... do we even have times when we’re in a pinch?

K: We probably just laugh our problems away. (laughs)

T: If I had to say, we’re the type to have fun even when we’re in a pinch. They (pointing at K and F) probably feel the same way, and it puts me at ease.

—What are your tics? 

F: Recently, it’s been “Right, right?”. It changes a lot, but before that it was “Yup, yup.”

T: She says it twice. (laughs)

K: All three of us do this, but I always say funny things a second time. (laughs)

T: It’s immediately after, too. We do it unconsciously.

F: What was your tic, Kanako?

T: “Water”, maybe? I really like water. (laughs) I drink about two liters a day, so I’m always looking for water. What’s your tic, Kyan (Kobayashi)?

K: Maybe when I always say “Oh no~”. I say it no matter what happens. (laughs)

I’m glad that we can be one with Yohane, Hanamaru, and Ruby

—Now, looking back on Aqours’ activities, can I ask how you feel now that five years have passed?

F: When Aqours first formed, the other eight members... I still really look up to and respect everyone... but when I compared myself to everyone, it was really clear that I had no experience. I couldn’t dance, I couldn’t sing well, and I couldn’t act.

But now, we’ve spent five years together, so I’ve come to realize my own place in Aqours, and I’m really glad that Aqours is the nine of us. If it wasn’t these eight members with me, I probably wouldn’t have felt like this.

—Five years is quite a long time.

F: Getting this close with a person for this long, as I have with Kurosawa Ruby, is the kind of thing that doesn’t happen often. But on both the outside and the inside, getting closer to her in my own way is something I’ve thought of as very important. It’s made me aware of a lot of different sides to myself, and I feel like my love for both the franchise and Ruby is stronger than anyone else’s. Of course, the other eight members probably feel the same way.

—What about you, Takatsuki-san?

T: For me, my natural voice isn’t very high, and I’m taller than Hanamaru-chan, so I don’t have much in common with her. So when we started our activities, on top of being Aqours, I was also worried about if everyone would accept me. During concerts and performances, I was focused on whether people were looking at me.... I had a period where I didn’t have much confidence in myself.

But now, no matter what I do, even if I’m just talking normally, people often say to me, “Oh, it’s Hanamaru-chan~”, so I’m really glad that I could become one with Hanamaru.

—When did that start to change?

T: Around 2nd Live. (2017′s Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours 2nd LoveLive! HAPPY PARTY TRAIN TOUR) Up until then, I was afraid of people looking at me on stage, but since 2nd Live, it’s become just like a festival, and I’ve been able to do more and more things.

I wasn’t very good at dancing to start, but I felt myself slowly getting better, and I started to really feel the joy of Love Live! inside me.

—What about you, Kobayashi-san? 

K: Aqours had a few people who were new to voice acting, and I was one of them. Acting with your voice, and living Yohane’s life alongside her was a first for me. But by asking myself, “How can I get closer to her?”, I’ve been able to grow all the way until today.

Over these five years, I’ve learned to do a lot of new things, like learning how to use a low voice, how to sing in a voice completely different from my natural voice, and lots of other things.

By facing Yohane (Yoshiko) head-on, so many new possibilities have opened up; it feels like “a me that isn’t me”. Every day, I get the chance to grow alongside her. I’m so happy that this mysterious feeling can continue. It’d be great if Yohane and I, as part of Aqours, can do more and more and more fun things together.

—Takatsuki-san was talking about how she changed around 2nd. Live. So, Furihata-san and Kobayashi-san, when did your outlook change, and you started becoming more confident?

F: For me, it was slightly after 3rd Live (2018′s Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours 3rd LoveLive! Tour ~WONDERFUL STORIES~).

At 3rd Live, we debuted “Awaken the power”, which had 11 people. (Saint Aqours Snow’s collaboration song with 9 of Aqours and 2 of Saint Snow) I felt a lot of pressure for that song. I was desperately giving it my all, and there are a lot of painful memories... But when everyone who went to 3rd Live was cheering, “I’m glad that Kurosawa Ruby is Furihata Ai”, it was a really big moment for me.

—The voices of your fans became your strength...

F: That’s right. Up until then, I didn’t have any self-confidence. And so for 4th Live (2018′s Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours 4th LoveLive!~Sailing to the Sunshine~), I went in with the positive mindset of “Aqours made it to Tokyo Dome!”.

—What about you, Kobayashi-san? 

K: I think it was at 2nd Live. 1st Live (2017′s Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours First LoveLive! ~Step! ZERO to ONE~) was at Yokohama Arena, a place where I never thought I would be, even in my wildest dreams . And then 2nd Live was a tour. In my mind, I was thinking “Is this really going to be alright?”.

You have to really take care of your health, and because it’s a tour, you have to treat every venue with care and importance, while also making sure every performance is better than the last. And because we all overcame that together, and made each and every performance of the HAPPY PARTY TRAIN TOUR a unique one, I realized that my outlook had started to change.

—Thank you all for your stories. Now, the focal point of your 5th Anniversary Project is the series’ first Dome Tour, isn’t it?

F: It’s our first nine-person concert since Love Live!’s 9th anniversary’s first full-member Fes in January. Just like how the lyrics of “Fantastic Departure!” and “Aqours Pirates Desire” are, I want to bring out an even stronger Aqours.

I’ve always felt a sort of desperation, but for this tour, I feel a sort of calm from being more in sync with Kurosawa Ruby. I hope this can be a concert where we can show off what’s in store for Aqours.

T: The Dome Tour will probably have a lot of songs that we’ve never performed before. I’m excited to see the setlist, and I want to find all my favorite points in the staging, choreography, and costumes. I’m really looking forward to it!

K: When I look back, when we made it to Tokyo Dome for 4th Live, we sort of “burnt out” in a way... While we felt the relief of having reached our goal, it was also a day where we decided that we would keep on giving it our all. So this dome tour performance really feels like a dream. 

Up until now, for our tours, we always just made small changes to the setlist, but this time, I’ve been thinking, “What if every performance had a different setlist?” I feel like the current Aqours could pull something like that off, so I hope everyone can have fun with both our new songs and some of the songs that are important to us, in true Aqours fashion.

What are the charm points of each of the first years?

Kobayashi Aika -> Takatsuki Kanako

It’s amazing how she can brighten up everything around her so naturally. Her smile is contagious. Her charm point is her sleeping face; it’s really cute! It’s my favorite part about her. (laughs) The two of them (Takatsuki-san and Furihata-san) have this in common, but she pays close attention to her surroundings and says the right things. Her actions give off this air of maturity, and I love how she’ll always mess around together with me. (laughs)

Kobayashi Aika -> Furihata Ai

The fact that she’s created her very own genre. Her existence itself is a charm point. (laughs) The small things she says are amusing, and she has a lot of parts that are so cute that you just want to imitate her. The three of us are really close, and we have a lot of matching things. We have matching sweatshirts, and sometimes we wear things that we find together at a sale, but pick in different colors.

Takatsuki Kanako -> Kobayashi Aika

I love that Aikyan (Kobayashi-san) is so amusing, and she brightens up the dressing room. When I first met her, she seemed really mature and stylish, and her long black hair was really beautiful; she seemed like the picture perfect city girl. But we’re the same age, and as I spent more time with her, she opened up. Recently, it feels like we’re partners-in-crime. It’s amazing how she’s more devout than anyone for Yohane, too.

Takatsuki Kanako -> Furihata Ai

Furi-san (Furihata-san) is an airhead, but in a good way. (laughs) The things she says are funny, and I like how she’s always the butt of the joke. My first impression of her was that she really had things together, and since she's the eldest of three siblings, I thought she would be like a big sister. But she unexpectedly has some weird sides to her. (laughs) But she’s also my partner-in-crime.

Furihata Ai -> Kobayashi Aika

Kobayashi Aika-chan is our trendy fashion leader, and she’s really knowledgeable. I’m a tech boomer, so she’s the first person I turn to for help with games and social media. Also, she takes really good care of her image. She’s really good at singing and dancing, and it’s amazing just how multi-faceted she is.

Furihata Ai -> Takatsuki Kanako

Takatsuki Kanako-chan’s unique personality and vocabulary are really charming. She latches onto things that most people will let slide, so you can’t just deal with her like your average person. She works really hard at being a good singer, but she never shows that. I think she taught me how to be serious with my work. 

Kobayashi Aika’s Q&A!

Q1: Tell us what you really love about Tsushima Yoshiko-chan!

(sounding troubled) I love everything about Yohane...

I love how she’s honest about the things she loves. After meeting Aqours, she’s been able to be more open about the things she loves. She’s grown to be able to share that love with so many different people. I’m glad that she met Aqours.

Q2: What’s something you want to have or want to do?

I’ve always wanted to go to England, which is Yohane’s “World Image Girl” country. They have a “Magic Museum”, where they have a lot of pots and things that real witches used on display, so I want to go see that. I think Yohane would like it, too.

Q3: Have you read any interesting books or played any interesting games recently?

Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I even play in my dreams, and in one of my dreams I built a bridge. (laughs)

Q4: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A singer and a nursery school teacher. I’ve loved singing and dancing since I was a kid. And I love taking care of little children, so I’ve always admired nursery school teachers. I went to school and got my nursery school teacher’s license. Hopefully, my second dream will come true some day.

Q5: What do you do on your days off?

Usually I stay at home. I’m either sleeping or playing games. I play so much that it’s the only thing I think about. Like, “When I go home today, I need to do X in ACNH.” (laughs)

Takatsuki Kanako’s Q&A!

Q1: Tell us what you really love about Kunikida Hanamaru-chan!

How cute she is! (laughs) I fell in love with her from the moment I met her. She’s a shy bookworm, but she’s also super curious. And as the story progresses, she begins to feel more real. In season 2, she started becoming a gag character, but I love watching Hanamaru eat, so I was happy to see so much of it.

Q2: What’s something you want to have or want to do? 

I’m not actually a very materialistic person. So for now, I just want some inner peace. I hope the whole world can be enveloped in happiness soon.

Q3: Have you read any interesting books or played any interesting games recently? 

It’s actually a movie. I recently bought a projector, and I’m enjoying using it to watch movies or dramas. Ninagawa Mika’s “Followers” is really interesting.

Q4: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 

A singer. I started wanting to become one around 4th grade, when we sang for our class recital. I didn’t have a particular genre I wanted to sing, so I just vaguely wanted to become a star.

Q5: What do you do on your days off? 

I’m an indoor-type, so I just play games or watch TV. Also, I like going on trips, so it’s a little tough right now, but I want to go to Hawaii one day.

Furihata Ai’s Q&A!

Q1: Tell us what you really love about Kurosawa Ruby-chan!

She seemed like a little sister-type from the moment I saw her, so on the flipside, how she’s very strong-willed. She might seem a little timid, but mentally, I think she’s just like her big sister (Kurosawa Dia). I love how much she loves her big sister, too. And like with school idols, I think it’s wonderful how dedicated she is to the things that she loves.

Q2: What’s something you want to have or want to do? 

To spend time with all the people who support me. When I take questions on Instagram, I get a lot of messages from overseas fans, too. And of course, there are plenty of fans from Japan, too. I just want to see them soon.

Q3: Have you read any interesting books or played any interesting games recently? 

Grand Maison Tokyo. I got hooked on the drama, so I read the novel, too. The scenes and food appear vividly in my mind, so it was an easy read.

Q4: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 

I loved drawing, so I wanted to be a mangaka, artist, or something to do with art. But I thought that doing something I like for work might make it tough, so I started wanting to become an anime seiyuu.

Q5: What do you do on your days off? 

My little sister, little brother, and I all live together, but usually I’m with my sister. I’m also the kind of person who likes to go out in the rain, so I go out and end up buying something I don’t really need, and my sister usually gets mad at me. (laughs) I collect vinyl records as a hobby, so I end up buying jackets for them.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Wednesday 22 September 1824

7 40/60

1 5/60

Br[eak]f[a]s at 9 1/4. R[ea]d ov[e]r, and made so[me] verb[a]l alterat[io]ns in my let[ter] and direct[e]d to IN. [Isabella Norcliffe] writ[ten] on Fri[day] and Mon[day] -

wr[ote] out the ind[ex] of this vol[ume] of fr[om] 19 to 24 July last. At 11, w[e]nt to call on Miss Pope, and s[a]t w[i]th h[e]r an h[ou]r.

Both talked much in the style of yesterday she gave me several lines from Walter to prove that

the man who loved not his native land was centered all in self  that is to say she will not marry

a French man and leave her own country. Seal[e]d my let[ter] to IN. [Isabella Norcliffe] (Langt[o]n hall) took Cord[ingle]y w[i]th me (at

12 3/4) and put it int[o] the post - saw the m[a]n weigh the let[ter] and p[ai]d h[i]m 22 sols post[a]ge - fr[om] the P[ost] off[i]ce (in

the rue J[ean-Jacques] Rousseau) w[e]nt direct to Laloy’s - st[oo]d there a good whi[le] talk[in]g to Mad[am]e Laloy, and w[e]nt to see the lit[tle]

girl the next door, that is to co[me] and talk to me (in Fr[en]ch) 2 or 3 h[ou]rs a day in the course of 7 or 8 days

wh[e]n h[e]r fath[e]r who is now ill is expect[e]d to be recov[ere]d. Fr[om] here w[e]nt direct to the rue S[ain]t Martin

(La Flamand) and b[ou]ght an [arne] of lino - aft[e]r this saunt[ere]d al[on]g the boulevards to the gr[ea]t eleph[an]t - wish[e]d

to see it, b[u]t the man s[ai]d I c[oul]d n[o]t w[i]thout a billet fr[om] the directeur des ouvrages publics, Isle S[ain]t Louis

n[umer]o 7 - the eleph[an]t is still clos[e]d up und[e]r a large wood[e]n build[in]g (no anx[iet]y shewen to finish this fount[ai]n bec[ause]

beg[a]n by Nap[oleo]n) en face de la rue S[ain]t Antoine - turn[e]d d[o]wn this st[reet] - look[e]d int[o] and walk[e]d r[oun]d the inter[io]r of the 1st ch[ur]ch

we ca[me] to, on the left, and neat en[ou]gh. Meant to ha[ve] gone in a direct line to the rue S[ain]t Honoré, b[u]t; keep[in]g too

m[u]ch to the left, w[e]nt int[o] and walk[e]d r[ou]nd the inter[io]r of anoth[e]r ch[ur]ch, neat, and a good ch[ur]ch, bet[ter] than the oth[e]r - and g[o]t

les rues H. [ Henri] Beauvais, Ponlour, and Monceau, w[e]nt thro’ the Porte de la Grêve int[o] the place de l’Hotel de

Ville (walk[e]d r[ou]nd the court of the Hotel - a handso[me] look[in]g build[in]g - a statue of Henri 4 on horseb[a]ck on the front tow[ar]ds

the place, and one of Louis 14 stand[in]g on a pedest[a]l n[ea]r the oppos[i]te b[a]ck front look[in]g int[o] the court) and ret[urne]d ho[me] along

 83

the differ[en]t quais as far as the Louvre-pal[a]ce walk[e]d r[ou]nd the inter[io]r of the ch[ur]ch of S[ain]t Germain l’auxerrois, a good ch[ur]ch - there along the rue S[ain]t Honoré, the place du pal[ace] roy[a]l

thro’ the pal[ace] roy[a]l int[o] the rue neuve des petits champs, and g[o]t ho[me] at 4 3/4. H[a]d my h[ai]r curl[e]d - dress[e]d. Din[ner] at 6.

In the ev[enin]g st[oo]d d[o]wnst[ai]r to talk to Miss Pope. She fancies I think her agreeable and therefore per

haps sseems to like me. M[onsieur] de Quissy here (in h[i]s uniform) and M[onsieur] Bellevue, and M[onsieur] Beauy (I kno[w]

n[o]t how to spell the na[me]) and anoth[e]r gent[leman]. Left the r[oo]m at 9 35/60 - s[a]t 35 min[ute]s w[i]th Mrs Barlow. She c

ertainly likes me and seems flattered by my attention. Ca[me] up to bed at 10 10/60. Trac[e]d my morn[in]g’s route on the plan

of Paris - wr[ote] all b[u]t the 1st 1 1/2 line of today all w[hi]ch took me till 12. Ver[y] fine, pleas[an]t today. F[ahrenheit] 68° at 12 p.m. I w[a]s out or

m[i]ght perh[aps] ha[ve] gone w[i]th the p[ar]ty who sp[en]t the aft[ernoo]n in the Bois de Boulogne. E.. 0...

[name-me-regret]

If The World Was Ending 14/?

If The World Was Ending Chapter Fourteen: A Lethal Side

Read on AO3.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“Some things I just cannot change Are you waiting for me to show you the way out? This love has a lethal side I would take the bullet, ah

You feel just like you're wasting a lifetime on me Just give into the feeling we got something real, yeah 'Cause every love song needs somebody to sing

So let me show you I'm what you need before you run away...

Can't hear what those people say Telling you that you're crazy believing in me now And if we march on the front line I would take the bullet...”

~ Runaway - James Carter

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

‘Because you’re exhausting!’

The words had been playing on repeat in his mind for the past hour, and it didn’t look like it would stop any time soon. Buck felt, not for the first time, that he had made a mistake for filing that lawsuit. That was especially true since it had solved nothing. His friends, his family, had pulled away further. That was none more true than Eddie, who had started to pull away from him even before the lawsuit. Now, he was sure he had completely lost him.

Buck cleared his throat, wiping hastily at his eyes. He decided that he needed to clear his mind, and that it was time to fall back on his usual coping method. So, he stopped briefly at his loft to get changed into his hiking gear. He’d added to the collection in the last two years that he had been with the 118, especially since he was trained in rescue and knew what was needed in case of an emergency.

He’d been part of a lot of hikes, so he knew that things that might seem like overkill, were essential. That meant his headlamp since it was almost sunset, and made sure he checked the batteries on it and brought extra ones just in case. He also made sure he had his LifeStraw Water Filter that he’d recently purchased, since he’d taken to hiking a lot during his recent shifts as the Fire Marshal.

The man sent a text to Maddie telling her he was going for a hike at Griffith Park, which would be open until 9pm, so he had plenty of time for a few hours to go on the hiking trail. When he arrived at the park almost 40 minutes later the sun was almost completely setting, he grabbed his backpack with his supplies but first slipped on his hydration backpack, which was small enough to fit on his front, against his chest. He had enough water for at least a two to three hour hike.

He was twenty minutes into his hike, not having seen anyone on the dark trail this whole time, when his playlist cut off as his phone started to beep furiously. “JARVIS?” Buck asked as he detached his phone from the strap of his backpack.

‘Sir will be with you shortly, Mr. Buckley,’ JARVIS told him. Buck knew that J was an AI, but he had always been pretty expressive. However, he wasn’t sure he’d ever heard him sound as strained as he did now.

“What? Why? What’s going on, J?”

The AI was silent before he started to speak again. ‘Sir was attacked two hours ago by an assailant that I’ve been able to identify as the Winter Soldier.’

This alarmed Buck and he lifted his head, looking for the armor but the dark sky was empty thus far. “Is Tony hurt? Why are you bringing him here?”

‘Sir didn’t have a combat ready armor with him at the time and though he managed to evade capture, he suffered a head injury that’s rendered him unconscious.’

“Why didn’t you take him to the hospital?” Buck demanded. “He could have a concussion!”

‘My protocols are to bring him to the closest person he trusts, and since his healthcare proxy is currently in D.C., you were the closest person to his location.’

Buck ran a hand through his hair, his cap getting knocked off in the process, but not that he noticed in that moment. “Alright… alright,” he muttered. He turned back and started to run back the way he had come, and was glad he hadn’t gone too far down the trail. He reached his Jeep in less than ten minutes, glad that he had kept to his training regiment after he’d started his light duty. After all, lying around doing nothing was more detrimental to his health.

He heard the repulsors then and he lifted his head to see the armor coming in from the west. That meant he had been in Malibu when he’d been attacked. The armor touched down more gently than he would have thought, but then again, JARVIS was the one flying it. It also appeared to be an incomplete armor, so that’s likely why he’d been mostly unprotected from the attack.

“Alright, open her up J,” he told the AI. When he did, Buck was ready to catch Tony as the unconscious man tumbled out. He’d opened his passenger side door ahead of time and easily lifted him and put him inside. “Tony, hey,” he said as he rubbed his sternum and patted his cheek to get him to wake up.

Tony moaned weakly and his eyelashes fluttered but didn’t open. The was blood caked on the side of his head from where he’d been hit and Buck didn’t have time to wonder what exactly it had been. Tony whimpered when he shifted him up further in the seat, making Buck wince.

“Sorry, sorry, but I need you to wake up.” Finally, his eyes opened and Buck couldn’t help grin at him. “There you are.”

“Ev?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” He took his headlamp off as an idea occurred to him, and used that to shine in his eyes. He flinched at the light and that wasn’t a good sign, especially since his pupils were dilated. When the man suddenly leaned out the open door and threw up, narrowly missing Buck’s hiking boots, he knew that he had a concussion, and needed to get him to the hospital to make sure it wasn’t anything worse.

That’s when he noticed the blood at his side and when he lifted his shirt, Buck saw that he’d torn his stitches. “Shit,” he hissed. He reached under his seat for his first aid kit, being thankful for his sister’s paranoia after the truck bombing. He quickly patched the wound, since he didn’t have the supplies to restitch it there and then he buckled him in and ran around to the driver’s side. Buck was relieved when he pulled up his maps amp and saw that there was a medical center less than ten minutes away. As he drove, he had JARVIS call the hospital.

“Tony? Are you awake?” The man groaned. “Do you know where you are?”

“M’in y’r Je’p?” Tony slurred. That didn’t sound good.

“Can you remember what happened?” Buck pressed, needing to see how bad the concussion was.

“Dunno… g’t hit?”

“Do you remember what hit you?”

Tony was silent for too long that Buck reached over and shook him, and sighed in relief when the man flinched. “No… no,” he said, shaking his head but moaned in pain at the movement. “Hurts.”

“I know, but I got you, Tony,” he reassured him. He looked behind him when he saw the blue lights and a cop car, which then pulled along side and then he motioned for Buck to follow him. It seemed JARVIS had also contacted the police department for an escort. Buck gave a thumbs up and followed the black and white cruiser.

As soon as they pulled into the ER, a few nurses and a doctor rushed out with a gurney. Buck told them about the head injury and the torn stitches as they loaded Tony onto the gurney. The cop told him that he’d be guarding Tony as per the instructions of someone named JARVIS. Then he was left alone, not knowing what to do except look at the hospital doors for a few moments before the siren of an arriving ambulance snapped him out of it. He closed the passenger side door of his Jeep and then got back in to find a parking space.

He was lucky to find one, even if it was further away than he would have liked. However, before he could leave the Jeep, JARVIS spoke up again. ‘Mr. Buckley, sir is being tracked.’

“What? By who?”

‘The Winter Soldier.’

“Who is that?” Buck asked a bit hysterically. He didn’t know what was going on. All he knew was that someone had hurt Tony and now they were likely coming to finish the job.

’He is an assassin that’s been sent by HYDRA.’

“Hydra? What is Hydra?”

‘HYDRA is an authoritarian paramilitary subversive terrorist organization bent on world domination. It was very active during World War 2 but with the efforts of Captain America and the Howling Commandos, they were able to destroy it.’

“I’m sensing a but,” Buck groaned where he’d laid his head against the steering wheel. This was spiraling into very dangerous territory, and Buck felt that he was barely keeping his head above water.

‘It seems to have survived and infiltrated SHIELD. Sir discovered this several days ago, as well as a plan to use an algorithm created by a HYDRA scientist to identify people that posed a threat to them and thus be able to eliminate them.’

“He stopped them and then they came after him?” Buck hazarded a guess. He took in several shaky breaths, trying not to have a panic attack right that moment. He was a first responder, a fire fighter that was used to running into a burning building, but this was more Athena’s area. Only, he couldn’t call her, couldn’t call anyone for help.

It was in that moment that Buck truly felt alone. He was alone in this.

‘Yes, that is correct.’

Buck contemplated on what he should do now, wondering if he should go inside, or call the police to warn them. It was just, would they believe him at all? Buck seriously doubted it. He was worried, because right now Tony was unprotected. “What do I do, J? I’m just a firefighter... or rather, I was.” He sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair. “I can’t help him.”

‘There is a way, Mr. Buckley.’

The man’s head lifted in surprise. “What? How? What do I have to do?” He’d already lost his family at the 118 and didn’t want to also lose Tony. If there was something that he could do, then he would.

‘The Rescue Protocol.’

Buck frowned. “What’s that?”

‘Sir designed armor to your measurements and called it the Rescue armor.’

“What?!”

Before he could ask more, he heard the sound of repulsors once again and rolled down his window as he stuck his head out of it. He saw the suit coming from the east, which he found was weird. “Where is it coming from, J?”

‘Sir designed it and had it built at his lab in New York, because that lab had the equipment for it. He activated the protocol almost three hours ago, but since it was on the other side of the country, it is only now arriving.’

Buck stumbled out of the Jeep and saw not one armor, but two of them. “Wait, that’s two armors.”

‘It is War Machine, Mr. Buckley.’

“Holy shit,” Buck gasped, not believing that he was about to see Rhodes after all these years.

The two armors touched down and the face plate lifted on the War Machine armor. “Evan Buckley, is that you?” the man asked incredulously. The War Machine armor gave Rhodes about four inches, so they were about the same height.

“Rhodes, hey man,” Buck greeted him weakly. As he turned to what JARVIS had dubbed the Rescue armor, he saw that it would likely give him four inches as well. That explained why the Rescue armor looked taller. It was also colored the same blue as his LAFD uniform.

Rhodes pointed at the other armor. “Is it safe to assume this is for you to use?”

Buck ran a hand down his face as he nodded. “I don’t- I don’t know the first thing about how to use it. I kinda just found out literally a minute before you got here.”

“Lucky for you, FRIDAY informed me about the situation going on with Tony, so you might not have to use it.”

“Who’s-?”

‘Colonel Rhodes, incoming from the west,’ JARVIS interrupts them suddenly, voice urgent.

The Rescue armor is opening and Buck yelps as it lunges at him and incases him. He staggers back as the HUD turns on, breathing heavily and an alarm is suddenly beeping. Buck is stunned as his Jeep suddenly explodes in a ball of fire as it is flung to the side and into another car. The instincts he learned from his time in the SEALs kick in as he jumps away, rolling with the momentum, and is shocked at how easy the armor moves around him.

“Evan!” Buck hears Rhodes panicked voice and his vision is suddenly filled with a man with long hair wielding a grenade launcher, which is aimed right at him. He jerks to the side to avoid the grenade, which sails dangerously close to his face and it hits another vehicle that also explodes.

‘Mr. Buckley, may I suggest leaving the area before the hospital takes damage,’ JARVIS tells him.

“How do I do that?!” He yelps as the repulsors at his feet suddenly turn on and he waves his arms around wildly as he starts to lift off the ground, which makes the take off shaky and almost flies into another car.

‘Keep your hands at your side, Mr. Buckley,’ the AI instructs.

Buck quickly does that and the armor shoots into the sky, and it’s only because he’s jumped from a helo into the ocean during the BUD/S training that he doesn’t scream. Of course, he hadn’t made it much longer after passing Hell Week, because he hadn’t been able to turn off his emotions. So, he was very terrified in that moment. Especially when he saw a motorcycle following them with the long haired man on it, and did he have a fucking metal arm?!

“Evan, this way,” he hears Rhodes call. He follows JARVIS’s instructions as he angles his body to follow the man and almost whoops when he’s able to do it without veering too much off course. “We need to get away from the city before we engage.” They’re heading toward the Hollywood Hills, more than likely where there are very little houses.

Buck is totally onboard with that, since the last thing he wants is for someone to get hurt. He tries not to think too closely about what engage actually means, and that he was going to actively attack someone. And shit, he’s thinking about it now.

Then an alarm starts to blare through the speakers and with J’s warning, Buck twists in midair to avoid being hit as their pursuer shoots at them, which sends him into a sudden barrel roll that has him giving a choked off scream. He some how manages to regain control of the —his?— armor and gasps when he sees that the grenade had missed him, but managed to hit a building. Buck becomes alarmed when he sees that it was a house on the edge of where the hills start.

“Shit!” Buck exclaims as he turns, forgetting his fear and even that he’s way out of his element. There are people in danger and he can’t just do nothing. “JARVIS, is there some kind of fire suppressant system in the suit?” He sees as the AI selects the systems but curses when he sees its aimed for it to be used in case the suit is on fire or sparks. “I need something to stop the fire!”

‘There is a water gun on the shoulder,’ JARVIS tells him. Of course he had seen it, which resembled the one that Rhodes had on the War Machine armor, but he had assumed it was a weapon. ‘If you land in the pool beside the house, there are compartments that will open to suck into the suit and that will be directed to the water gun.’

Buck grinned despite himself, because he hadn’t been expecting that. “Wow, I thought it was a gun!”

‘That’s why Sir called it the Rescue armor. He designed it especially for you.’

And Buck could see that now. He hadn’t designed it like a weapon the way he had for Rhodes’s War Machine armor, but like a tool used to rescue people for Buck. Because that is what Buck did, he was a firefighter and he rescued people, and now the name Rescue for the armor made sense. “Alright then, J. Let’s see what this thing can do.” He had the AI connect him to Rhodes and told him that he needed to keep the assassin off his back while he went to put out the fire and see if there had been anyone inside the house.

“Roger,” Rhodes tells him. The War Machine turns and heads toward where the motorcycles is still following them. It also appears as if there are two police cars and one police motorcycle following the man. Whether they were alerted because he was breaking laws to catch up to them or because someone saw him shooting the grenade launcher is unclear, but that doesn’t matter at the moment.

“J, is there like some kind of autopilot on this thing? I don’t think I can land softly enough not to damage the pool.” Buck asked as they fly toward the house. He grins when the AI takes control of the suit and they land. JARVIS relinquishes control almost immediately after and he grins when he sees that the water can also come out of the hands by three individual tubes that can open up at the palms. It’s a good thing the pool is fairly large, and the gallons in it are likely enough to extinguish the flames. If not, there is another pool next door he can use.

“Aright, let her rip, J,” he tells the AI. He braces for the pressure to hit, use to doing it when he handles the hose as a firefighter, but it seems that he doesn’t need to as the suit is immovable. The water leaves the gun and the palms of the armor, and he aims at the worse of the flames. He cuts off the flow when the flames frizzle out, but makes sure there is enough left inside the suit in case there is more fire inside. There is a hole on one side of the house, and he rushes in like he usually does. “LAFD! Is anyone in here?” Buck shouts, forgetting that he isn’t a firefighter with the department anymore.

There is smoke and ash from the destroyed wall in the air and he kicks a few chucks away as he goes further inside. “Hello! Is someone in here?” His voice sounds mechanical and almost resembles what Tony’s does whenever he speaks while in the suit.

That’s when the suit’s HUD displays a scan of the house and it detects three heat signatures. Even then, he keeps calling and soon he hears a voice calling for help. The first person is a man in his early fifties which is the owner, judging by the information that JARVIS is displaying, and that he lives there with his younger wife and fifteen-year-old son. He brings the man out even as he protests. “I’m going to get them out,” he tells him with certainty.

He finds the wife next in a bathroom, a woman in her early forties who is unconscious from a hit to the head. Buck needs to secure her neck and substitutes a towel gently but tightly around her neck, making sure its not enough to strangle her. He then sees a bathrobe and uses the tie of it to secure the towel in place. Now that the neck is secure in case she has a spinal or neck injury, he carries her out.

“Evan, are you clear?” Rhodes calls over the coms, hearing the strain in his voice.

“Almost, Rhodes. I got one more victim inside the house. Give me ten minutes.”

“You got five,” he gasped. Buck jerks his head up as he hears an explosion, but sighs in relief when he sees War Machine still in the air.

“Copy!” Buck yells as he runs back into the house. JARVIS had pulled up the information, so he knows the name of the young man. “Jake! Jake, are you there?” He hears the house groan and knows the explosion caused the whole structure to be unstable, but he doesn’t want to leave until he has the teenager. Buck heads to where the heat signature is coming from, glad there isn’t any more fire, but there are sparks and if the gas line was damaged it could get really dangerous really fast. So he hurries. “Jake!”

He comes upon a room for a teenage girl and decides that he obviously isn’t there. Then he sees movement and turns. “Jake?” he calls as he rushes in. He finds a teenage girl huddled in the corner, confused by her presence there and wondering if he’ll have enough time to find Jake, but knows he can’t leave her there.

“It’s Jenny,” she whimpers as the house shudders.

Buck is confused. “What?”

“That... that’s not my name. It’s Jenny.” She cries out as the house shakes again. “J-Ja... that’s not my name!”

He realizes what she means almost immediately and nods as he kneels. “Alright, Jenny,” he soothes. He holds out his armored hand. “Take my hand, sweetheart. I’ll get you out, alright?”

Her eyes, bluer than even his own, dart up to his face. Then she nods and takes it. Buck lifts her up and carries her out. He deposits her into her father’s waiting’s arms who sobs a thanks for getting his daughter out, and Buck takes a moment to smile.

“Evan!”

“Shit!” he curses when he sees another grenade coming their way and instinctively lifts his hands and lets the water go with all the pressure the suit has, from the water gun as well. It must be more like a water cannon, because it knocks the grenade out of its course, and it hits the house. Buck turns and shields the family from the debris as it seems to hit another support beam and the whole structure comes down.

When he makes sure the family of three is okay, he goes a few steps away and his second take off is more smooth than the first one. He sees the lights of the emergency crews as he goes, and now that he knows the family is safe, he decides to concentrate on the fight that’s coming. Buck had never been a violent person, had never seen combat during his SEAL training, but he also knows that he can’t stand by while this assassin wrecks havoc and harms more people.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Athena had gotten a call from one the police officers in East Hollywood. While she wasn’t able to put any kind of official alert on her family or the 118’s vehicles or homes, they each knew the names of the people closest to them. When one of them was involved is an accident or any kind of incident. Mostly it was her kids, Michael and Bobby. Oh, and Buck, of course. It was because that kid was always getting into trouble, and because despite what Bobby said, Buck was his son. He was his son even while he was suing Bobby and the man was mad at him.

So, when the East Hollywood police were contacted by Iron Man’s associate to be an escort and given the license plate of Buck’s Jeep (which he’d just gotten back from the body shop), Athena had found out about it twenty minutes later. Naturally, she told Bobby, who was off shift and both of them raced over toward Kaiser Permanente regardless that they couldn’t contact Buck due to the lawsuit.

They were horrified when they found that area around the hospital parking lot cordoned off by police. Athena got off to try to find out something, telling Bobby to circle around and she’d call him when she knew something. She was able to pass through the police line easily enough, and even if she wanted to go immediately to the hospital and find out about Buck, something drew her to the scene.

There were several vehicles that had been on fire, which meant the another fire station, mainly station 6, were on the scene. There was a lot of destruction, like a bomb had gone off, and as she walked closer to the scene to try and see what was happening, she stepped on something.

The woman frowned and bent down to pick it up, seeing it was a California license plate, covered in soot and half burned. She wiped at the numbers, the curiosity getting the better of her. The moment she did, the sob felt like it was punched out of her.

It was Buck’s license plate.-

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 21

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,700ish

Summary: Y/N finds Tony doing something incredibly stupid. 

After calming herself down and showering, Y/N made her way down to the workshop. She felt the need to apologize to Tony. She needed to be more professional than that. When she arrived, Tony was being suited up in some kind of metal armor. She quickly burst through the door.

“What the hell are you doing?” She angrily asked.

“JARVIS,” Tony muttered, “I thought I told you to lock down the workshop.”

“You also told me to allow Ms. Barnes in the workshop whenever,” the AI retorted.

“Tony. What is that?”

“It’s just a suit. I’m testing it out.”

“Like outside of this workshop?”

“Well, yeah.”

Y/N marched closer to Tony, moving to stand in front of the suit which he was enclosed in. “Did you think that I wouldn’t notice that you were gone? Or that JARVIS wouldn’t inform me that you had left?”

“I—“

“I’m here to protect you. In case you have forgotten, Mr. Stark, you were kidnapped. Missing for three months. You are not allowed out of this house without me with you. So step out of that suit. Now.”

“JARVIS will keep you informed with my location.” Tony’s tone had turned a bit serious. “Sit at the desk and he’ll show you my location and all the sats in the suit. You can’t stop me from going.”

“Tony! I can’t—“

“JARVIS, do a weather and ATC check,” Tony ignored Y/N. “Start listening in on ground control.”

“Sir, there are still terabytes of calculations needed before an actual flight is—“

“JARVIS! Sometimes you go to run before you can walk. Ready?”

“Tony, don’t!” Y/N shouted. “This is too dangerous on so many levels!”

“In three, two, one,” Tony counted down. 

The suit lifted off the ground before flying out of the garage and into the sky. Y/N quickly went to Tony’s desk, where JARVIS had already pulled up everything she needed to see. She nervously bit her thumb nail and tapped her foot as she watched the screens.

“JARVIS,” she called when she noticed Tony flying straight up. “What’s going on?” No answer. “JARVIS?” Still nothing. “JARVIS, you have got— Wait. Why is he falling? JARVIS!” 

“Ms. Barnes,” JARVIS’ voice finally broke through the tense room. “Mr. Stark—“

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Tony interrupted through the intercom system. 

“Tony! Thank goodness!” Y/N exclaimed. “You can’t do that—“

“I can do that. And I will continue to. Okay, I’m landing on the roof now. Be down soon.”

“Fine.”

Y/N sat in the desk chair, leaning forward and resting her head in her hands. This mission was going to kill her. A loud, crashing sound had Y/N jumping up and pulling her gun out. She looked and noticed a hole in the ceiling and iron clade Tony laying on one of his nice, now crushed, cars.

“Are you okay?” She quickly rushed over to him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tony waved her off. “JARVIS, make notes of what we need to fix.”

“Of course, sir,” JARVIS answered.

“Tony, you fell from the sky. You are not fine.”

“I didn’t fall from the sky,” Tony said as he stood up. “I fell from two inched above the roof.”

“Oh, cause that makes it any better. Do you realize that my job is on the line when you do shit like that? You can’t do that. The suit needs to go.”

“The suit is staying.” Tony walked away. “And since when was this about you?”

Y/N sighed, biting her lip and crossing her arms. This man was going to be the end of her. 

“You’re right,” she said. “I’ll just leave you to, somehow, get out of this.”

“Y/N,” Tony called as she grabbed the door handle. “If you… if you can’t sleep again tonight, you can always come down here.”

She looked over her shoulder. “Thanks. If you can’t sleep tonight, well… you should just probably try anyway… good night.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

Y/N went up to her room. Thankfully, JARVIS already had the video footage up so that she could keep an eye on Tony. She laid in bed and tried to sleep, but couldn’t. At about 2 am, Y/N convinced herself to head down to the workshop, where Tony was still at it. When she entered, Tony’s head immediately snapped up and almost as quickly back down.

“Did you even try?” Tony asked.

“I did,” she replied, moving to the couch. “Did you?”

“Nope.”

“Tony…”

“Nope.”

“You need rest. Have you gotten any since you’ve returned?”

“Yes.”

“How much?”

“I—“

“Ms. Barnes,” JARVIS interrupted. “Mr. Stark has gotten a total of 33 hours of sleep since returning.”

“Way to rat me out, J.”

“I’m here to serve, sir.”

“Come sit with me,” Y/N said. 

“And do what? You finally want some of this?” He looked up and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

She rolled her eyes. Y/N knew she needed him to trust her more. She needed more information out of him. “Or we could talk… I’ve always been told talking about it helps.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Don’t know until you try.”

“Not planning—“

“I fell out of a plane into the ocean.” Tony’s head snapped up in curiosity. Y/N was staring at her scarred hand. “I— we— my twin brother and I were trying to stop a bombing from happening.” Tony stopped what he was doing and slowly headed over to the couch. “There was this… this power source. It needed to be stopped. I grabbed it… and quickly dropped it. But it burnt my hand anyway… Then before I knew it, the power source had burned a hole in the planes flooring… I, umm…” She nervously licked her lips and looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back tears. “I—“

“You fell,” Tony finished.

“Yeah.” Y/N nodded. “Fell into the ocean with the power source, that I stupidly grabbed onto again as I fell.”

“And your brother?”

“To stop the bombing, he had to put the plane down…. He, umm… he didn’t make it. But for some reason I did.”

“Is that why you can’t sleep?"

“I used to be able to but…” Y/N sighed. “But—“

“But every time someone mentions your hand, it’s like you’re there again. Falling.” Y/N nodded. “I wouldn’t have mentioned anything if I’d have known.”

“How could you have? I keep it off record. And I usually don’t tell employers so that they don’t pity me and I can just focus on the job.”

Tony carefully reached over and grabbed Y/N’s scarred hand. He began to gently rub his thumb over the top of it. There was something about her that interested him, in a way he had never felt before. Even with Pepper. Y/N stared at Tony’s hand. She never let people touch her hand. She was always haunted by the scars. So, it came as a surprise to her that she didn’t pull away when Tony grabbed it. After a few moments of calming silence, Y/N finally spoke up.

“Are you back in that cave?” Y/N whispered. Tony met her gaze, still keeping hold of her hand. “When you close your eyes, are you back there?”

“Yes.” Tony’s reply was so quiet, you couldn’t have been any farther than Y/N was, or you would have missed it. 

“You don’t have to talk about it. But you can if you want. I’ll be here whenever. Well, until they think that you’re in the clear and safe again.”

“And you’d be off to…?”

“Wherever I get hired next.”

“What if I asked you to stay?”

Y/N was taken back by that response. Her and Tony were definitely not that close, well until tonight. Why would he want her to stay? And would he still want her to if he found out the truth?

“Depends,” she finally responded.

“On what?” Tony tilted his head in curiosity.

“How much sleep we start to get,” she grinned.

Tony chuckled. “I should probably let you go then.”

“I’m not going to bed unless you do.”

“Of course. Well how about we turn on a show down here and once we’re almost asleep we head to bed?”

Y/N could tell he wasn’t exactly ready to be alone. And she really wasn’t either. “Sounds great.”

They both faced the tv, Tony never letting go of her hand. Tony ended up turning onto a home renovation network. Slowly, the two ended up closer to each other. Y/N was fighting to keep her eyes open, scared to sleep next to her mission and scared of what she would see when her eyes closed. Tony glanced at her when he noticed that he head had started to bob. He moved so that he was leaning against the armrest. He tugged at Y/N’s arm to get her attention and to help her lay down. When she noticed what he was doing, she tried to pull her hand out of his grip.

“Stop,” Tony said. “You’re tired, and I know you don’t want to be alone.”

“It’s not appropriate,” Y/N tiredly responded.

“Trust me, Y/N/N, this is probably the most appropriate thing I’ve ever done with a woman this late at night.” He watched her carefully. Y/N was clearly fighting an internal battle, on multiple levels. “I’m not going to do anything. We’re just going to sleep.”

“Okay,” she meekly whispered, letting him tug her so that she was laying on top of him. 

She rested her head on his chest, just off of his arc reactor. The beating of his heart and the soft glow of the reactor quickly lulled her to sleep. Tony was not far behind. His one hand never let go of hers, while his other arm was wrapped around her waist to keep her safely on top of him.

next chapter >

[umbry-fic]

Ai Kotoba

Summary: On the lead-up to Valentine's Day, Lloyd hunts for the perfect gift with the help of his friends.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel, Genis Sage, Presea Combatir, Zelos Wilder, Regal Bryant Relationships: Everyone & Lloyd, Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Rating: G Word Count: 9716 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 14/02/2021

Notes: A fic written for Valentine's Day that features rare pairs, headcanons and an aromantic Presea.

There's a section in this inspired by @darkhymns-fic's sixth entry of Into the Morning Light, which you can read here.

This fic has been altered to work on Tumblr, so if you'd like to read it in its original form, please read it on AO3!

♡♡♡

3 weeks to Valentine’s Day

“Hey, Bud!”

“Yes, Zelos?” Lloyd replied, glancing around furtively and on high alert for the flutter of skirts or the click of heels against the cobblestone path. He and Zelos were currently in what used to be the slums of Meltokio, though they couldn't be called that anymore in their current state. The living conditions had improved immensely since the end of their journey four years ago, but there were still visible changes from just one year ago when he and Colette had a brief stopover.

Even while dealing with other outstanding issues and the urgent need to cooperate with Sylvarant, Zelos had still taken Colette's suggestion to heart. Zelos had worked tirelessly with the Tethe'allan monarchy - both with the unification of the world and to improve equality, starting in his hometown of Meltokio. Zelos had worked himself to the bone, and the effect was palpable and honestly impressive. The settlements which had once been nothing more than sheets of wood or plastic cobbled together were now humble houses that could serve their role perfectly.

Lloyd was proud of his friend’s work, of course. And he would be happy to look at what Zelos had accomplished! But he would rather not be walking around Meltokio with the Tethe'allan Chosen. There was a high chance they would be mobbed by a crowd of noblewomen, and while Zelos loved the attention, Lloyd hated it. And once it happened, there would be almost no hope of escape.

It hadn’t happened yet, thankfully, probably due to their current location in the city. Despite the absence of visible grime, there was still an obvious tone of judgement in the voices of the higher-class when they talked about the other denizens of Meltokio. Some things couldn't change overnight.

Still, Lloyd would rather not risk getting trapped.

“How’re things going with the little angel?”

“Um, good?” Lloyd mumbled, avoiding Zelos’ gaze. He was never quite sure what to make of that question, even after the many times Zelos had asked it. Why was Zelos so eager to know, anyway?

“Good? That’s the same answer you gave last time! Don’t be so boring!”

“What answer am I supposed to give?” Lloyd protested, staring down at the cobblestones and dragging his shoes against them.

He and Colette had officially been in a relationship for the past two years, and yet nothing much had changed from the time they were friends. He had simply, as per normal, spent every day with Colette on their journey to collect the remaining Exspheres. It was quiet and peaceful, and that was enough for him. They were both happy, and that was all that mattered, surely.

Lloyd didn’t think any word could encompass his experience with Colette and the emotions every moment with her brought, so he had no idea how to answer Zelos.

“Don’t we have more important things to discuss? Like the Great Bridge?” Lloyd asked, hoping to steer the conversation towards the reason he and Colette were here in Tethe'alla in the first place. The Great Bridge was one of the largest monuments in Tethe'alla powered by Exspheres, which meant it used an abhorrently large number of them. That was a giant collection of souls that Lloyd hoped to free from the eternal purgatory they were entrapped in.

But to do that required extensive collaboration with the Tethe'allan monarchy, which was where Zelos came in.

“Bud, I told you that I’m handling it! Just trust me, alright?” Zelos replied, waving away Lloyd’s concerns with a flippant wave of his arm. Lloyd sighed. He wasn’t going to be getting much done today, was he? Zelos was far more interested in grilling him about his love life than doing anything productive.

Lloyd didn't mind too much, since he couldn't detect any ill intent in Zelos's voice. Not that Lloyd believed Zelos would be purposely mean-spirited.

Eyes alight with a mischievous shine, Zelos grinned, clapping Lloyd on the back and causing him to stumble forward, catching himself with his hands on his knees. “At least tell me you have something planned for Valentine’s Day! It’s coming up in less than a month!”

Lloyd straightened, mind turning over the unfamiliar words that he'd never heard before. Then again, Tethe'alla had a lot of weird traditions that he couldn't even begin to understand.

What did Valentine's Day celebrate?

“Bud? Why aren't you moving?" Zelos asked, coming to a stop and turning to face Lloyd, right hand placed on his waist.

"What does Valentine's Day celebrate?" Lloyd asked guilelessly, unaware that he had just plunged Zelos into a pit of disbelief.

"Wait - you don't know what Valentine's Day is? How could I have forgotten to tell you?"

Zelos grabbed Lloyd by the shoulders, fingers gripping tightly like the fate of the world depended on him understanding what Valentine's Day was. Zelos' blue eyes were wide as he shoved his face closer to Lloyd's, and Lloyd leaned back as much as he could without falling over, not liking how close the other was. Was Valentine's Day this important?

"It's the day that celebrates love and romance! The greatest holiday of all time, where couples give gifts to each other! Do you know how many gifts I get from women on Valentine’s Day alone? It’s heaven!”

Lloyd laughed nervously, pushing Zelos’ hands away and taking a step back. So Valentine’s was another opportunity to be fawned over by his Hunnies? Yeah, he could see why Zelos liked it so much. All Lloyd cared about right now, though, was getting Zelos off his case.

“What’s it got to do with me, though?”

“You have to do something for the little angel! That’s the only way to proclaim your love! You didn’t nail the dramatic confession, so you have to get this one right!”

Lloyd knew he hadn’t done an over-the-top confession. It had been a spur of the moment decision, in the least romantic location ever - an Exsphere mine near Asgard, abandoned from a previous period of Sylvarant’s prosperity.

“That should be the last one in here. Now they can all be at peace.” Colette placed the lone Exsphere in Lloyd’s palm with her usual gentle touch, a smile on her face.

The mine they were in had a lamp system that had once run on mana, but that store of mana had long since run dry. As a result, it was pitch black inside, and the two of them had resorted to the gentle light their wings emanated to illuminate the path ahead.

Under the soft, commingled purple light, the planes of Colette’s face were highlighted and her small, happy smile seemed incredibly bright, almost like it could light up the darkness all on its own. All Lloyd could do was stare at the breathtaking angel in front of him, marvelling at all the love and care she carried in her heart, enough to surround the whole world. How lucky he was to be able to spend every day by her side.

“Colette, I - I love you.” The words that he had kept hidden in his heart for as long as he could remember tumbled out, just like that, as his hand curled over the Exsphere in his palm, feeling the rough edges of it through his gloves.

Her gaze had snapped to his, holding disbelief, and in the seconds before her response, his heart had beat so fast that the blood rushing past his ears drowned out all other sounds. Did she not feel the same? Maybe... maybe she only cared for him as a friend.

Even if that were the case, he would be happy to stay with her for the rest of eternity as nothing more than a friend. Simply enjoying her companionship was enough.

But Colette took his free hand, intertwining her fingers securely with his like she would never let go.

She nodded, that smile growing ever more radiant. “I love you too. I always have.”

It had been simple, and at that moment everything had felt right. It was like the final missing puzzle piece had finally been put into place: admitting what had gone unrecognised for years.

But now, Lloyd couldn’t help but second-guess himself. Zelos had told him that his confession was pitiful and that he really should have planned better to go all-out.

“A candle-lit dinner would have been amazing! A mine is the most boring location ever. Horrible lighting, stale air - what a buzz-kill!” That had been Zelos' exact words, which had certainly taken all the wind out of Lloyd’s sails.

He and Colette hadn’t purposefully gone on many dates since then. It had just been them together, facing one day at a time. Some were quiet and peaceful, others filled with excitement. And Lloyd was perfectly fine letting nature take its course, content with the way things were.

But he couldn’t help but question. Maybe that wasn’t what Colette wanted. Maybe he was going about this wrong. Maybe he should be offering to bring her out on dates, attempting to shower her in gifts - what the ideal boyfriend would be like, according to Zelos. Maybe she wasn’t asking him for anything because she was afraid to, and was just hiding behind a content face.

“ - to bud? BUD!”

Lloyd snapped back to attention to find Zelos’s hand being waved in his face. Right, he was still with Zelos in the middle of Meltokio.

And Lloyd made his decision then and there. He would use the time before Valentine’s Day to find the perfect gift for the person he loved. Something amazing to fit the incredible person that Colette was. Something that could adequately express the way he felt around her.

“Sorry, Zelos. I was just thinking… So, what do people usually give on Valentine's day?” They resumed their walk, with Lloyd determined to get some information out of Zelos.

“So you are thinking about it! Good,” Zelos replied, steepling his fingers together with a devilish grin on his face. “People often give chocolates. Just thinking about all the young girls who are going to give me boxes of handmade chocolates is making me salivate already… It’s the beauty of young love!”

“Right,” Lloyd muttered, knowing that he’d lost Zelos.

“So handmade chocolates…” He could see how the time and effort took to hand-make them could make them a good gift. But how did one go about making chocolates? He’d have to do some research.

“Now that I think about it, maybe you shouldn’t hand make chocolates?” Zelos was the one to come to a stop this time, frowning. “Just - just stick to the store sold ones. Those are perfectly fine.”

“But there’s nothing special about those, are they?” If store sold chocolates were the go-to gift, didn't that make them the “boring” that Zelos always warned him to steer clear of? What was the point, then?

And Lloyd could cook just fine! He was the proud maker of the Dwarven Stew recipe, after all! How hard could it be?

“Just - just trust me on this, alright?” Zelos hurriedly said, shaking his head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

"No! I'm not giving her chocolates unless I make them himself!” Lloyd declared, walking ahead and already contemplating the intricacies of chocolate making. He’d do it. Just watch him!

♥♥♥

Zelos sighed, having been left in the dust. He hoped he’d managed to steer Lloyd in the right direction.

Valentine’s Day was a day for celebrating love and romance? What a farce. He did receive countless gifts from his hunnies on Valentine’s Day as they proclaimed their “undying love” for him. He hadn’t been lying about that to Lloyd.

But it was all fake, part of the delicate efforts to maintain a facade that Zelos hated with his entire being. Those shallow gifts were nothing more than a representation of Tetheallan high society’s lust for power, meant to keep people in his good faith by showing their supposed adoration - another part of the leash that Meltokio tied around his neck to keep him in place.

Valentine’s only strengthened the knowledge that he was utterly alone. No one had given a gift to him out of genuine love - not since the time Seles had made him a bracelet out of multi-coloured strings, a long time ago. The strings had frayed and the colours had long since faded, but Zelos still cherished that gift and kept it safe.

The many gifts he had received since then were nothing more than a bitter reminder of the role he was locked into. They meant nothing to him. For so long, there had never been anyone who saw him for who he was, and those who did, he had pushed away.

But he couldn’t tell Lloyd all that. Lloyd and Colette deserved to have Valentine’s be a happy affair, untainted by Zelos' misgivings. Their relationship was pure and beautiful, so starkly different from the dance of deception that passed for love in Meltokio. It was something he ached to experience himself, for who hadn't heard of the fairytale version of love and longed for it? But surely, that was impossible, was what he believed for the longest time.

Maybe now he could try to find his happy ending. Zelos had attempted to apologise to Sheena the entire month after his false betrayal at the Tower of Salvation, to explain all the emotions that had run through his head - despair and hope battling with each other for dominance, and how hope had eventually broken through in small glimmers to influence his final decision. But Sheena had avoided him expertly, escaping conversations or using someone else as a shield.

The wound that he had savagely slashed over her heart was too fresh for Sheena to accept his apology, Zelos supposed. And so life had gone on, with the two of them rarely seeing each other. They met only when Sheena had to visit Meltokio for diplomatic reasons, and things were still unbearably tense and awkward. Zelos hated it and he longed to return to the days when they could at least act civil with each other.

It had been four years. Maybe it was time to try again, to make the amends that he desperately needed to.

I wonder if Sheena would accept a card for this Valentine’s… And I owe her an apology. Too many.

Zelos smiled, shaking his head as he ran to catch up to Lloyd. He had faith that Lloyd would find the perfect gift for their little angel. And he had plans to make.

Hopefully, Lloyd came to his senses soon and realised that hand-making chocolates were not the best idea.

For Martel’s sake, he’d found a shoe in Lloyd’s Dwarven Stew once.

♡♡♡

2 weeks to Valentine’s Day

“Checkmate. That’s my fifth victory today,” Genis crowed, triumphantly knocking Lloyd’s King to the floor before placing his King in its place. Lloyd, resting his elbow on the wooden table, leaned down to pick up the white piece that had rolled slightly across the dirt, placing it back safely on the table.

“Do you need to be so violent?” Lloyd grumbled, beginning to arrange the pieces back to their starting positions.

When he and Genis had first started playing chess, they had both agreed that the loser would reset the board to its neutral position. Lloyd had done this so many times that the pieces' positions were burned into his brain. Genis hadn't done it once.

The other condition was that the loser had to treat the victor to a meal.

...maybe that deal hadn’t been quite fair. Lloyd’s wallet was beginning to feel the brunt of his losses.

“One day, a piece is going to roll off the side of Exire.”

“We’re nowhere near the edge, Lloyd. That’s not going to be an issue,” Genis replied with an amused smile. “At least you know the rules of chess now. Wanna play another round before Colette gets back?" Genis asked, picking his Queen off the board and rolling it between his fingers.

"No, I'm good. I have something I wanted to ask you."

"It's about Colette, right?" Genis grinned at the expression of shock on Lloyd's face, having predicted his line of questioning perfectly. "You have that look on your face. So, what is it? Trouble in paradise?"

"Nothing like that. Have you heard of Valentine's Day?" Lloyd started the conversation with that extremely safe question, preferring to hide the increasing depths of panic he had felt over the passing week. Besides, if he hadn't heard of it, maybe Genis hadn't either!

"That silly little Tethe'allan holiday? Yeah, I've heard of it." Despite the flat tone Genis tried to go for, he wasn't able to hide the tiny blush that was appearing on his cheeks. That had always been what gave him away, even when his affections had been directed towards Presea.

"Seles told me about it," Genis mumbled.

Ah. So that was it. They were both in the same boat, then.

"So, what are you planning to get her?" Lloyd asked, really hoping he didn't come across as too desperate.

Unfortunately, he had to drop the chocolate idea. There just weren't many opportunities to practice discreetly when most of his time was spent alone with Colette. Sneaking away or giving excuses just left a sour taste in his mouth. It felt too much like betraying her trust when she’d already been lied to for so much of her life.

That left only the dead of night to practice. However, none of the final products looked remotely like the delicately handcrafted chocolates that sat in Meltokian storefronts. Sometimes, there were even noxious fumes. Things were starting to look too much like when Professor Raine experimented, and that was never a good thing. Lloyd had no choice but to admit defeat.

It hadn't been practical, to begin with - he had zero experience with making chocolates. Surely that was the only reason he wasn't succeeding! Chocolates just weren't his thing.

But that brought him straight back to square one. Since Lloyd was here with Genis today, he might as well pick his genius friend's brain.

"I'm not getting anyone anything!" Genis snapped defensively, the blush on his cheeks only intensifying until it was a rosy red. "Flowers. I'm going - I'VE HEARD THAT FLOWERS ARE POPULAR!" Genis ended his answer with a yell, defiantly slamming his hands on the table and glaring at Lloyd, daring him to say something.

Lloyd decided, tactfully, not to point out the little slip-up Genis had made.

But flowers…? He and Colette had quite the history with flowers.

How many flower crowns had he made her when they were but children? He had learned how to weave the stems together securely to ensure the crown maintained its shape for days while ensuring the delicate little things weren’t crushed. He had learned which flowers lasted the longest and complemented each other and Colette’s golden hair the best. Under the setting sun, with flowers stretching out all around her, she had resembled a dainty forest queen.

Colette, in response to the little gifts he gave her, always responded with a radiant smile that made each day better. Lloyd had gladly made her more, content to see Colette's smiling face.

But it had all been a facade, hadn’t it? He had done it all, thinking that they were both having fun and that everything was right in the world. But to Colette, it had been so much more - the little rays of sunshine that broke through a sky constantly smothered with dark clouds that she had clung to for hope.

And Colette never asked for more. She was content with the little moments of happiness she could get, and never tried to change her fate or confide in anyone else.

It felt wrong, somehow, to give Colette something he associated with innocent days - when really, she had always been hiding her despair behind a brave face. He had never bothered to push beyond the mask to see the fear she buried and the tears she held back, not until it was almost too late.

Even now, he had the sense that Colette was still holding herself back. She had never asked for anything in their time together, and knowing her, she wouldn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day. Sometimes, it felt like she had to get someone's permission, someone's affirmation, to be allowed to be happy.

Lloyd had thought, once upon a time, that everything would be fixed once he saved the world. He had thought that was enough for Colette to be free. But those were the fantasies of a naive child, who had seen the world in black and white and thought every problem had an easy solution.

It had been heartbreaking to admit that the world wasn't like that. It comprised of every shade of grey. There were some things that could just never be fixed. The claws of fear had dug themselves so deeply into Colette's heart that to this very day, their mark still lingered. And it would always be present.

What could he really do, then...?

“LLOYD! EARTH TO LLOYD!” Genis’ loud yell brought Lloyd back to reality. Genis was staring at him in clear concern. “You’re serious about this, aren't you? You shouldn’t be thinking this deeply over anything.”

“Oi!” Lloyd scowled at that little jab from Genis, secretly glad for the return to normalcy.

“Let’s talk about something else. How… How’s your Mother?” Lloyd asked, looking down at the table. He hesitated to even ask that question. It had been four years, but Lloyd knew better than anyone how raw these wounds would always remain.

That’s just the way it was with family. The people meant to protect you were also the ones who left behind the deepest scars, because they held your heart and had the capacity shatter it - sometimes carelessly, sometimes cruelly.

But Lloyd had come here to catch up with Genis. And the only thing he could do in this situation was to provide support. Genis wouldn’t want to beat around the bush.

“Better. Some days, Mother can even recognise Sis. She… still hasn’t recognised me.” Lloyd could understand Genis’ wavering smile. Knowing that your family was still alive but forever out of reach - maybe that was worse than knowing they were dead.

“I’m sure the day will come,” Lloyd reassured him. “After all, the three of you… have all of eternity.”

A 1000 years, to Lloyd, seemed like an impossibly long time. And elves lived even longer, didn’t they? Surely Virginia would be able to recover in that time with the assistance of her family’s love and the power of medicine. He had hope that Genis and Raine would get the happy ending they deserved. They’d gone through so much and still came out the other side with their heads held high, and still desired to forge a safe place for other half-elves to live.

“Yeah. I… I want her blessing when I - if I get married,” Genis corrected, resting his chin on his hand and staring off into the distance. “It would just feel right.”

Lloyd’s hand wandered to the golden locket hung around his throat, the final gift from his birth father before he had left for Dherris-Kharlan. Getting your parent’s blessing… that was the conventional thing to do, wasn’t it? Lloyd couldn’t help but feel envious that his best friend could at least dream of that - something that’s now forever out of his reach.

“I’m sure Kratos already knew, Lloyd.”

“What…?”

“And he wouldn’t have left if he didn’t think you were in good hands,” Genis continued. “I’m sure he approved, so you don’t have to worry about anything.”

“But how would he have known?” Lloyd asked, confused. He hadn't said anything...

“You two were so obvious. You were dating Colette before you started officially dating her! Really, how dense could you two be?” Genis teased, grinning.

“Hey!” Lloyd cried, standing up in indignation. He wasn’t going to take that insult to his intelligence sitting down.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Dirk’s already planned your wedding!” Genis yelled before taking off as Lloyd chased after him, determined to catch the little brat.

“Do remember to invite all of us, Lloyd! I’m sure we would all like to give our blessings!” Genis called over his shoulder, picking up speed.

“Come back here!” Lloyd cried, no heat behind his statement at all. He was unable to keep a smile from growing on his face from the reminder Genis’ words had given him.

Family was more than just the people who had brought you into this world. They were those who had been there when it mattered, who Lloyd cared for and trusted. Lloyd already had Dirk, and his family had only grown.

And Lloyd loved them all, just as much as he loved his birth parents.

♥♥♥

“Gotcha.” Lloyd grinned, latching onto Genis’ arm. “No more running away now!”

“Damn it,” Genis cursed, letting Lloyd pull them both onto the grass. They were both far too old to be acting so childish, but Genis had gotten caught. So he would make the concession, just this once. Only because he had lost.

“Honestly, though, don’t worry too much about what to give Colette,” Genis said, sitting up. “You’ll come across the perfect idea naturally. You know her best, so you’ll figure it out. I believe in you.”

Genis had grown up watching his two friends fall in love with each other - watching the two of them instantly brighten when the other turned up, watching the two of them seeking out each other’s hands at every given opportunity, and watching how the two of them found comfort in each other.

They’d been in love for so long without realising it, which was honestly frustrating to watch. Genis had breathed a giant sigh of relief when Lloyd had told him they were finally together. They could finally find happiness together.

He could also openly make fun of them acting like a couple, which was a plus.

Colette and Lloyd’s love for each other, for the most part, wasn’t intense, like a giant bonfire that threw sparks everywhere. Instead, it was a simmering fire - gentle, steady and always present. It cast light over everyone else and let everyone around it feel its warmth. It was comforting to watch.

Genis hoped he could experience the same someday. It had stung when Presea had kindly but firmly ended their relationship, explaining that she didn’t feel the same. She had told him that it wasn't anything he had done - it just hadn't worked out. Still, Genis couldn't help but think it had been something he'd done. He had pored over every moment spent with Presea, trying to identify his mistake. Maybe it was because he hadn't spent enough time with her, having to split it between his studies at Palmacosta Academy and dates with Presea. Maybe he hadn't put in enough effort, or maybe he hadn't catered to her interests, or maybe, maybe, maybe. The list of errors he had potentially made went on forever. For a short time, he’d been crushed and thought he would never have his opportunity at romance.

Looking back only two years later, Genis had to admit that he’d been spectacularly stupid. Love wasn’t perfect - it was messy and complicated and honestly scary, and there was no need to focus on it too much now. He had a long life ahead of him with which to experience it - to have his heart broken countless times, but also to learn what it meant to love with all of one’s heart.

“Thanks, Genis.” Lloyd replied, sitting up as well. Some of the tension in Lloyd’s voice had left. Lloyd had been distracted throughout the entirety of their game of chess and had played even worse than usual, making Genis' victory feel rather hollow. Hopefully, he'd helped Lloyd feel better... It didn't feel right to see his first and closest friend so down, especially since he was worrying over a non-issue. Nothing could shatter the love between his two friends. Surely.

Maybe now they could play another match on more equal footing?

Nah, Lloyd was terrible at chess. How he’d managed to get Lloyd to agree to play in the first place was a mystery. But it was fun to watch Lloyd’s downright pathetic plays when he got cornered.

Not to mention the free food!

“What do we have here?”

Genis froze, his blood running cold at the familiar voice of his sister.

Gulping, Genis turned to find Raine standing nearby with her hands placed on her waist, surveying the chaos she had chanced upon. Chess pieces were scattered across the grass and the board itself had somehow been flung more than a metre from the table in the midst of Lloyd's frantic chase. Colette stood next to Raine, smiling nervously at the catastrophe which she had just orchestrated, clutching her sketchbook close to her chest.

“Aren’t you two a little too old for such childish behaviour?” Raine berated. “This is embarrassing!”

“We’ll clean it up! Promise!” Lloyd hurriedly said, scrambling to his feet.

“Won’t you go a little easy on them?” Colette pleaded, bending down to begin picking up the lone chess pieces. “I’m sure they didn’t mean to make such a mess.”

“Too late,” Raine growled, cracking her knuckles and approaching them threateningly. “Get ready for your punishment.”

He and Lloyd were dead. They were going to be buried right here, having been murdered by his sister.

This was all Lloyd’s fault.

♡♡♡

1 Week to Valentine’s Day

“Presea!” Colette squealed, quickly closing the short distance between her and the pink-haired girl standing in the entrance to Ozette. She threw her arms around Presea, squeezing tightly.

“Hello, Colette. You seem excited,” Presea replied, gingerly disentangling herself from Colette’s embrace and picking up the axe she had dropped.

“I haven’t seen you in so long! Of course, I’ll be excited!”

“Hello, Lloyd.” Presea directed her attention towards him, standing a distance away enjoying the fresh air of Ozette. “Would you like a hug too?”

“I’m good!” Lloyd waved away Presea’s open arms. Given that she was still grasping an axe in her hand, Presea looked like she was brandishing it straight at him. It was a sight that could strike fear into the heart of anyone, but was tempered by the small smile on her face.

Presea had put on quite a lot of height in the time that he hadn't seen her. She had gone through a growth spurt and shot upwards, and now the top of her head nearly reached his shoulders. Presea was taller than Genis now, which was hilarious.

“It’s good to be back in Ozette.” Ozette had, impressively, been rebuilt within the first few months of its razing - the wooden houses Lloyd could see from the entrace were the perfect image of the past. Some of it was due to the support Regal had provided by using the funds of the Lezerano Company, but most of it had been due to the town’s villagers working harmoniously together.

Presea had been in the middle of it all, eager to rebuild the home that must have held her precious childhood memories, that of the family she had lost. And through her efforts, she had managed to show the villagers that she wasn’t the monster they thought she was. The villagers had finally managed to put aside their fear of Presea in honour of a common goal, and in the process had finally accepted her as a person.

Presea had refound her original family, but would always be welcome to seek their company.

“Shall we go?” Presea hefted the axe over her shoulder easily like it was nothing more than a feather, a feat that still amazed Lloyd every time he witnessed it.

“Let’s!” Colette agreed, nodding her head enthusiastically and grabbing Lloyd's hand to tug him along, a bright smile on her face as well.

Lloyd smiled and let himself relax, ready to enjoy the day with one of his friends. The reassurances from Genis had calmed a substantial amount of the panic that had initially swelled after Zelos had informed him of Valentine's. Honestly, he’d been so preoccupied with what to get Colette that he’d been forgoing time with those precious to him.

All he wanted was to get Colette something she would love. Once he'd calmed down and gotten to thinking about what Colette actually liked, an idea had come to him fairly quickly. He could even make her gift by hand like he initially wanted to with the chocolate idea...

Hopefully he would be able to approach Presea for pointers tonight. She was the best source of advice available for what he was trying to do, and he didn't want to miss the only opportunity he had before Valentine's. He and Colette weren't staying in Ozette for long, and he wanted the craftsmanship of his gift to be as excellent as possible.

But he wouldn't bother thinking about it now! Lloyd stuffed the little block of wood further into one of his pockets. Out of sight, out of mind.

Time to enjoy a day of fun!

♥♥♥

Presea walked up to the figure hunched over the table, whose hands were a blur of motion, manipulating tools to shape a block of wood. The moon, visible through the window, hung high in the sky, washing the room in ethereal silver light.

Whatever Lloyd was working on had to be important if he was staying up this late. Curiously, she peeked over his shoulder to get a better view.

“What are you carving, Lloyd?”

“Ah, Presea!” Lloyd whipped his head around, dropping the carving tools on the table with a prominent thunk that hopefully didn't disrupt Colette's rest. It was a testament to how concentrated Lloyd was that a battle-tuned warrior such as him didn’t take notice of her footfalls.

"I'm sorry for scaring you."

"It's OK! Here, let me show you." Lloyd turned the half-carved wood towards her, letting her see the fine details that had begun to take shape. She could recognise a snout, ears and the beginning of paws.

“It’s a gift for Colette." It had to be, given the creature Lloyd was carving. It hadn’t yet been refined, but she could tell, even from the rough shape, how lovingly it was made. And Lloyd would spare no expense for Colette.

“Yeah. For Valentine’s.”

Presea ran her fingers over the grooves, letting the wood speak to her. "Valentine's..."

The holiday to celebrate love and romance...

Presea had once fantasised about her own happy ending - her knight in shining armour riding up on a white horse, straight out of one of the fairytales father had loved to tell her and Alicia. Those fantasies had been buried when father had fallen sick. She'd been so busy trying to keep her family together that she'd forgotten to think about romance. And then Rodyle had happened, pushing those thoughts even further down.

Presea had been completely blindsided by Genis' confession, but had agreed to try out... something. What were real relationships even like? What was love like? Having awakened from her Exsphere-induced slumber, she wanted to know. She wanted to experience it, that magical feeling of knowing you belonged with someone else. She liked Genis well enough, so maybe it would work out. Maybe she could learn to love him.

She'd ended it out of guilt. She was happy enough spending time with Genis, but even after spending months together, there was no sudden spark in her heart. She loved him as a friend but nothing more, and it felt wrong to continue when she had no hope of reciprocating.

Presea had spent the months after questioning herself. How was it that there was a void in her heart where her capacity to love should be? How was it that no matter how hard she tried, she could never be like everyone else? Was this just another thing that her Exsphere had taken from her?

Was she simply doomed to be an unfeeling monster, frozen in time?

It had taken time to accept herself. Accept that she loved just as fiercely as anyone else, just in a different way. Family and friends were the most important people to her, and there was nothing wrong with that.

Maybe one day she would experience romance, but it wasn't now, and it didn't matter. There were so many other beautiful things in life to experience.

But still, being confronted with all the happy couples on Valentine's Day was a little draining. Even watching Lloyd and Colette could make her feel a little hollow, sometimes. But that didn't detract from her desire for them to be happy together. There was no value in putting herself down because of other's happiness. Why not celebrate it?

There were so many other forms of love that filled every corner of this world. Why limit herself to only celebrating romance on Valentine's?

“It’s beautiful. I’m sure Colette will love it,” Presea said, setting the little figurine back on the table.

“Thanks,” Lloyd replied. “But I was hoping to get your advice on something.”

“Of course.”

Presea took a seat at the table, ready to hear her friend out.

She would help, in whatever way she could.

♡♡♡

4 Days to Valentine’s Day

“Still awake, Lloyd?”

“Regal? Shouldn't I be asking you the same question?” Lloyd asked, turning to face the older man. Regal was holding two flutes of champagne, one of which he offered to Lloyd.

“Late nights are pretty common for me, Lloyd. Having to manage a large company is busy work.”

“Right.” Lloyd accepted the champagne, taking a small sip and letting its rich taste flood his mouth, hoping it could clear his tired mind just a little. It was a miracle that he hadn't injured himself with how dark it was and how incredibly exhausted he was. Pulling multiple late-nighters in a row had not been the best of ideas, but he didn't have any other ideas on how to finish his gift in time.

“Is that your Valentine’s Gift?” Regal reached out to pick up the little figurine sitting on the table, which Lloyd had just completed the refining touches to.

“Yeah. I’ll clean up the wood shavings later! So sorry about, well, this...” Lloyd replied, staring guiltily at the mess he'd left on the table. Which, now that he looked closely at it, seemed quite expensive...

“Don't worry about the table, Lloyd. Besides, your gift… it’s beautiful.”

“You too? It’s nothing great,” Lloyd dismissed. He'd gotten the same compliment from Presea. “It’s nothing compared to Presea’s.”

Presea’s figurines preserved the most intricate details and textures he had ever seen, somehow able to showcase expressions and emotions. They were incredible. He could never measure up to them.

“I just hope the message gets across," Lloyd muttered, lifting the figurine into the air to inspect it for any mistakes. He had expended many nights on this gift, hoping to make it perfect.

There was still some instinctual nervousness that came with the gift-giving territory that Lloyd couldn't get rid of... Logically, he knew it was a good gift. It was both practical and cute. He'd put his all into this gift, much like the birthday necklace that came to serve as Colette's Key Crest, which he'd made without a worry in the world. Things had been so much simpler back then.

But Lloyd would never return to that past, for it meant not seeing the real Colette: all the uncertainty and doubt she carried upon that fragile back.

"Why not write a note, then?" Regal suggested. "If a material gift isn't enough to get your feelings across, why don't you write them down? It gives you the time to organise your thoughts, and there's no shame in it."

A note...? Lloyd lowered his head, thinking over the idea. He wasn't great with words, but at least he could plan what he wanted to write. It wasn't a bad idea...

"That's a great idea. Thanks!" Lloyd broke out into a grin, grateful for the inspiration.

"Always glad to help, Lloyd. But don't worry too much about it," Regal said, patting Lloyd lightly on the back.

"Genis said the same thing. He said I didn't need to worry too much about it, because I would find the perfect gift."

"I'm certain that's true as well, but that's not what I meant. I understand wanting to give a gift for special occasions, but it isn't the be-all-end-all in a relationship. You know, what Alicia enjoyed the most wasn’t expensive gifts.”

Lloyd raised his head, listening raptly to Regal’s voice and the nostalgia it held. Regal never recounted his time with Alicia - the pain must still be fresh, even so many years later. For Regal to be talking about it now...

“Of course they made her happy. But what we both appreciated the most was the time we spent together and all the little things we did for each other. It didn’t need to be perfect, because no one was perfect.”

Regal rested his hand on Lloyd’s shoulder, a reassuring smile on his face. “You have a whole lifetime ahead of you, so don’t worry too much about a single gift. Love her and be there for her, and she will surely feel it.”

Just love her...? Lloyd doesn't remember the exact moment he fell in love with Colette, but he remembers with crystal clarity the second he recognised that love, standing in the Tower of Salvation. Being unable to reach Colette no matter how desperately he tried, and realising he's about to lose her, possibly forever. That feeling, like his heart was being ripped apart at the seams, was something he would never forget.

Was it enough, though? All he could do was stay by Colette's side, no matter how prevalent the dark clouds were, whether they be just a single pinprick or covering the whole sky. He would always be willing to steady her hand as she reached for the happiness she willingly deserved. Colette was so incredibly strong. She just needed to discover that strength.

He wanted her to know...

“Thanks,” Lloyd replied, taking another sip of champagne. He would have to think over this more...

"Anytime, Lloyd."

♥♥♥

Regal smiled fondly as he gently draped a blanket over Lloyd, who had fallen asleep slumped over onto the table. Lloyd's half-drank flute of champagne still stood, bubbles lazily rising through the liquid.

Watching Lloyd and Colette… it was difficult to describe. It was like a vision of what he and Alicia used to be, and what they could have been were it not for Rodyle’s nefarious meddling. It stung sometimes - a reminder of all that he had lost by his own hands. The guilt of having Alicia’s blood on his hands and the horror he had felt as the life left his beloved's eyes would never leave him, even if he had accepted it wasn't his fault.

But before the painful memories, there had been happy moments, times that should have been looked back on with a fond smile but which had been tainted with his guilt.

Regal had finally been able to reclaim those memories after gaining Presea’s tentative forgiveness, seeing them for what they should always have been - a reminder of the amazing person Alicia had been and all the moments they had shared. Alicia placing a glass containing a single flower on his desk every morning, him wishing her a good morning every day without fail... The memories of the little actions they did for each other, sometimes without noticing, could always bring a smile to his face.

Sometimes, Regal would see Lloyd and Colette hesitate around each other, both held back by complex emotions that Regal couldn’t say he fully understood. But no one knew better than him the regret of letting guilt worm its way into one’s heart. Regal had been unable to see past his own, so willing to give up his life to atone for his sins that he’d been chained in place.

He knew now that throwing away his life would have meant disrespecting Alicia’s hopes for him, her desire for him to live on and experience the joys of life in her place. The best way to honour Alicia’s memory, then, was to push on. To live his life to the fullest, and protect Presea, the other person Alicia had loved and would have wanted to be happy.

There were some things that people could never forgive themselves for, that they felt they could never do enough to make up for. But to wallow in guilt meant wasting the precious time one had. He didn’t want Lloyd and Colette to make the same mistake he did. He wanted them to live their lives to the fullest and enjoy life with each other - to experience the happy ending that had been snatched away from him and Alicia.

Regal downed the remaining champagne, thinking about his schedule for the next few days. He would have to tell George to schedule a visit to Ozette to pick up Presea and a few Ozette Wildflowers.

They were Alicia’s favourite flowers, and a perfect gift for Valentine’s.

♡♡♡

Valentine’s Day

“Lloyd! Over here!”

Colette waved enthusiastically, signalling for Lloyd to join her on the neatly folded picnic blanket she was currently sitting on. The blanket was placed on a grassy outlook overlooking the plains near Asgard - it afforded a stunning view of both the plains and the night sky, and the blanket was comfy as well.

It was the perfect spot for a spontaneous midnight date, lit by the twinkling stars overnight, and Colette was glad that she had managed to convince Lloyd to stop here for the night.

Lloyd had seemed rather distracted the whole day, drifting off into his thoughts and being generally unresponsive until she got his attention again. He kept putting his hand into his pocket like he was checking for something, but what exactly she didn’t know.

He’d been like this for the past three weeks, but it had only gotten worse today. Unusual behaviour for Lloyd to say the least, but Colette wouldn’t dig.

She trusted him. He would tell her when he was ready, and not a second before. After all, he held far more courage than her cowardly self.

“You’ve been practising again, huh?” Lloyd asked, pointing to the sketchbook sitting in her lap that was currently filled to the brim of messy drawings of the night sky.

“Oh! Well, it’s still nothing good…” Colette hugged the sketchbook to her chest, hiding the rather embarrassing drawings on the current page. She had loved drawing as a child - Grandmother had shown her all the unintelligible scribbles of fruit and flowers that had become keepsakes. They were nothing amazing, but she had happy memories of showing them to her Father and Grandmother.

Colette had stopped fairly quickly once she was introduced to her duty as Chosen by the Church. After all, the priests had explicitly told her that hobbies were a waste of time and a disrespect to the Goddess. She, as the Chosen, was to devote her time solely to her efforts to become the perfect vessel for Martel. Distractions would not be forgiven.

Her family hadn't said a word when she'd packed up all her colour pencils into a box and stuffed them into a corner of her room, to gather dust and be forgotten. It seemed like they wanted to, but they had simply turned away, unwilling to stomach the sight before them of a child forced to give up her childhood.

Grandmother had put her foot down on Colette attending the Iselian schoolhouse, a decision that Colette was now eternally grateful for. If it wasn't for that, she would have never met Lloyd and Genis, and she wouldn't have had such a happy time. Colette had thought, at the time, that it was enough. Surely she had experienced enough, of happiness and friendship, to leave this world without regrets.

Her heart, that had screamed in pain, and her hope of experiencing so much more, of the world, of life, had told her otherwise.

Colette had wanted to try her hand at drawing again after returning from the Journey of Regeneration. Surely now she could do it, free from the restrictions of the role of Chosen. She could pick up a pencil, free of any guilt, and simply draw what she visualised. So, upon returning to Iselia, she had opened up that long untouched box, covered with dust, and looked down upon the assortment of colour pencils, an unknown emotion brewing in her stomach.

Was it happiness? Hope?

...trepidation?

Colette had pushed it out of her mind, eager to pick up a single pencil and just get started. It should be simple, right? She had done it so many times as a small child.

It had been so much harder than she had initially thought. Faced with a blank sheet of paper, she was able to do nothing but stare blankly, a pencil held in a trembling hand. Her mind kept cycling through the same memories - the words the priests had cruelly carved into her soul countless times and the sleepless nights tormented by guilt and her looming fate.

If you’re not performing your duty, then you’re useless. There’s no other purpose to your life.

It had taken some time to reclaim the activity she had once loved from the insidious trap of her memories, and it had taken the joint efforts of Lloyd and all the people she had come to know as family. Everyone had chipped in, equal parts complimenting her and giving her points for improvement. Each instance had warmed her heart and further cemented the love she felt for all of them.

And Lloyd, being the one who was always by her side, had been the one to steady her hand and offer her endless encouragement. The one who had been the biggest distraction in her life had also become the greatest pillar of light she had.

She was glad to be alive, even if it was just to spend one more second by the side of those she loved.

“Hey, I didn’t get good at crafting things in a single day,” Lloyd replied. “It required hours of practice - and a lot of Dad yelling at me. You’re putting in the hard work, so you’ll get there one day. I believe in you.”

Colette blushed, ducking her head and avoiding his warm gaze. Even now, Lloyd still stalwartly believed in her. Even if it was something as trivial as a hobby, it still made all the difference to her. He had always believed in her. That she wasn't just the Chosen, but a person deserving of her dreams and desires.

That things had come to this point was a miracle. She had loved Lloyd for a long time, but she had only realised after experiencing the pain of leaving him for the first time - essentially the act of ripping out her own heart.

She loved him, but she hadn't dared to tell him. She was more than content to remain his friend forever, to bury her feelings in a locked chest that would never be unearthed.

But even then, she had ended up here, leaning against Lloyd and listening to him point out the stars. She was happier than she’d ever been.

Colette’s eyes widened as a sudden streak of light cut through the sky, fast as a bullet, before disappearing from her sight. And then another, and another, and another - until the night sky was filled with stars with a trail of light behind them, almost as if they were falling from the sky in fiery glory.

“Lloyd! It’s a shooting star! Make a wish!”

Colette grabbed his hand, hoping that whatever he wished for would come true.

As for herself? She didn’t need to wish for anything. Having Lloyd at her side was enough - sometimes, she even felt like it was more than she deserved. Sometimes, unease filled her as the voices of the past echoed in her mind, telling her that a sinful Chosen such as herself should have nothing. Sometimes, she was afraid - afraid that all of it would be taken away as it had once been meant to. Afraid that maybe, someday, Lloyd would come to the conclusion that she was worthless after all. That she didn't deserve any of this.

Maybe that fear and the little voice inside her head would never truly disappear, no matter what Colette believed and the evidence laid before her very eyes. But that was alright. With Lloyd by her side, she would take each day as it came. And she would cherish the time she had with him, no matter how long it would be.

♥♥♥

Colette was smiling, staring up at the night sky that had just cleared of shooting stars. With her golden hair illuminated by the fiery trails of the shooting stars and her blue eyes shining under the starlight, she had looked almost ethereal, like an angel that had descended straight from the heavens.

What had she wished for? Knowing Colette and her selflessness, she would wish for other's happiness before her own. It was just like her.

As for himself... He hoped that she could find the courage to live the life she wanted.

“Here.” Swallowing down the remnants of his nervousness and with shaking hands, Lloyd pressed his gift into Colette’s palm, revealing what he’d spent so long working on - a little dog figurine with a hollowed-out base. It was her favourite animal, and perfect for slotting on any pencil she chose to use. “Happy Valentine’s.”

Lloyd watched anxiously as Colette turned over the wooden figure with wide eyes, awaiting her reaction. She didn't yet know of the final surprise, hidden away within the base of the figurine.

Colette looked back up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. “It’s beautiful. But Lloyd, you didn’t have to get me anything. Really.”

“Look inside,” Lloyd said, directing her attention towards the little rolled-up piece of paper stuffed into the hollowed-out base. Colette's reaction was exactly what he had expected. But hopefully, the note would convey exactly how he felt.

Colette unravelled the tiny sheet of paper, lowering her head to read through the note he had penned. He had spent the past four nights staying up and letting his deepest feelings flow out into words on a paper.

Lloyd hadn't told Colette that he loved her nearly enough. Honestly, no amount of words or gifts would ever fully express how he felt about her. But everyone deserved to know that they were loved, no matter what.

“Lloyd…” Colette raised her head, hand covering her mouth as tears started to spill over from those wide blue eyes. “I… This…”

“You don’t need to say anything,” Lloyd whispered, pulling her into his embrace and letting her cry silently into his chest. “Just know that everything I wrote was true.” He gently ran his hands through her golden hair as she cried, still clutching the gift he had given her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Colette pulled back, smiling through the tears. “I would love to stay with you forevermore. One day at a time... That’s enough for me.”

Lloyd pressed his forehead to hers, heart so full of joy that he thought it would burst.

It was alright that their relationship wasn’t the “perfect standard” that others fantasised about. Lloyd didn’t want that anyway. The love he experienced and the peaceful time he spent with her was more than enough.

Watching the sunset, making snow angels, having a picnic in the forest - he hoped to make so many more memories with her, one day at a time. They would take the messy steps of life together, no matter how many it took, until they learned to be free of all the burdens that weighed on them, free to take flight and do whatever their hearts desired.

♡♡♡

Colette,

Happy Valentine's Day! I decided to write this down because I didn't know how to say it out loud, but it's important to me that you know.

I love your smile and the way it lights up your whole face and the entire room. I love how warm your hand feels when I take it, and how easily you offer it. I love the way you tap your pencil against your cheek when you think. I love the sound of your laugh, how clear and uplifting it is, and hope I can hear it more often.

I love how cheerful you always are, and the way you can make those around you happier while not even realising you're doing it. I love your kindness, and how you're willing to help others without a second thought. I love your selflessness and the way you always put others in front of yourself. I love how hopeful you are, and how much you believe in the good of others and how anyone can change if given the chance.

I want to spend even more years by your side. I want to see you smile more and laugh more. I want to be there when you're happy so we can share the joy.

But I also want to be there when you're sad. I want to be there when you're angry, when you're scared and when you're down. I want to be there when you need companionship. I want to be there, no matter how you're feeling at the moment. I want to know every side of you, and what makes you happy, sad and angry.

Ever since I came to know you, you've made every day better. I guess what I really want to say is... thank you so much for being in my life. It wouldn't be as magical without you in it, and I hope I can remain in yours for many, many more. I'll be with you until the moment you no longer want me by your side. But until then, I'll always be here for you to fall back on

I love you. So, so much.

Lloyd