#He’s kinda what I imagine Johnny Summer to sound like

[coconut530]

Stephpotterdrawtober & 31 Days of Nevermore Day 16: Honey & Kiss of Death

[xxanaduwrites]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ a residue series installment ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

from the hive 🎙️🐝 : session 1

✎ elementary-teacher!reader (miss.honey) x biker!benny 🏍️

🐝 main hive | sweet talkin’ | honey, are you comin’? 🍯

summary: based off the two parts listed above, spoken from honey’s pov. some never before seen bonus tidbits included to be extended upon in future residue parts ;)

warnings: smoking, talks of violence, arson, potential stalking, some cursing here and there. nothing too crazy.

word count: idek tbh, i oddly wrote it in my tumblr drafts to get me inspired before writing the main residue installments.

💌 requests are open, send ‘em honey 💋

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↺ ▶︎•၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|။•

honey: “y’want some honey in your tea?”

danny: “sure, thanks.”

[ a clanking sounds of what must be a spoon is heard in the background of the recording ]

honey: “anytime, sweets.”

danny: “wait, i’ve seen this before.”

honey: “huh?”

danny: “this company. isn’t that — wait that’s your last name ain’t it?”

honey: “yeah, my pa’s a bee keeper. ma jars the honey with some top secret ingredient that’s got the town buzzin’. whole family business.”

danny: “ah, no wonder you got that nickname.”

honey: “yep, since the womb.”

danny: “interestin’. did benny know that when he met ya?”

honey: “hm…not that i know of. might of. if he didn’t, m’sure johnny must of told him.”

danny: “how’d you meet benny then?”

honey: “how’d i meet benny?”

danny: “yeah.”

honey: “well…you know, i was just mindin’ my own business. working a regular school day at the elementary school on phipps. i was teaching the third grade at the time and johnny’s girls just so happened to be in my class. the main office sent me a note in the middle of the day informing me that the girls would be picked up by their uncle benny. i didn’t think too much of it at the time, hey it wasn’t unusual for kids to be picked up by extended family members, y’know? but i guess i — i had this vision of what he’d be like. fucked up i know, but ya see, i knew johnny. not in the way one would expect. [ honey laughs ] johnny was — well he was mr. davis to me, respectfully so, just like any parent would be to one of my students. but he was also the mr. davis i knew from mass at st. caron’s on the corner of rose and dawn. he’d be walkin’ around in a suit and tie, the whole get up, solemn as he ushered pew to pew with the collections basket for the poor and during communion on sundays 12pm sharp.

danny: “interesting. so i suspect you saw johnny rather often then?”

honey: “oh yeah, every week. went with my ma and pa all the time and like clock work he was there. such a clean cut dignified family man. so it was no surprise for me to be taken aback by benny’s appearance when he pulled up at the school yard.”

danny: “did he bring his bike?”

honey: “hell no! had johnny’s car. ‘twas a real trip with his colors on and a cigarette propped between those pillowly lips of his.”

danny: [ laughs ] “i can imagine. when was this exactly?”

honey: “oh it had to be close to the end of june, right before the start of the summer of ‘65. school was just about ending. had a week left or so. oh yeah — yeah, i remember cause it was real hot out too — sweltering heat, like that sticky kind that can only be equated to bein’ stuck in a classroom with a half broken fan. aw it was the worst. i had on this baby pink tank of sorts with thick straps under this overall dress i decked out a while back. it was real cute. had all these flowers and things i embroidered on it.

danny: “right, the embroidery. heard a thing or two about bedazzled patches on the vandal jackets.”

honey: “‘course you did. the skill got me going with the boys. when sonny started riding with ‘em he let me bejewel the fringes of his jacket real pretty. always a good sport. but anyways — yeah so i had this cute little get up on and my hair was all up and out of my face, real messy for the 60s. kinda stuck out like a sore thumb at school, but what shits did i give?

danny: “none?”

honey: “damn right. so yeah, it was kind of funny when benny came strolling up to me, weaving through all the parents like a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit one bit.”

danny: “what were your first impressions of him?”

honey: “i was impressed to say the least. only had my reservations for what — half a minute? yeah, i’d say a good thirty seconds before i was smiling up at him.”

danny: “did he scare you? scare any of the parents, other teachers?”

honey: “i wasn’t scared of him no…as for the others, sure. mrs. rubin was all this and that and the other thing ‘bout him after that, especially when it got more serious and he was waitin’ round the school. she didn’t appreciate the loitering, but he was harmless, as harmless as benny could be. though, i was more refreshed really to see somebody so interesting….so different from everybody else. it made me feel seen, y’know?”

danny: “so what happened next? when he got to you?”

honey: “he’s standin’ in front of me and i’m bein’ a good egg with both girls at my sides, small fingers wrapped around each hand, and i go ‘hi, you must be uncle benny. i’m miss. honey.’ and he takes a good minute to give me a once over, like introducing myself was the craziest thing i could of done. then that thick smokey voice of his went “honey, huh?” and my tummy rumbled up so much so i was sure the butterflies i stitched ripped right off and flew about my dress. [ honey laughs again ] i was kind of just like ‘yep, that’s me’ or whateva, and god i was so sure i fucked it all up.”

danny: “how come?”

honey: “anyone that knows benny knows he’s not a man of many words by any means, so at the time i took his silence as a sign of unimpression. i mean if you took a look at us two — and i mean a quick glance or somethin’, we definitely seemed like an odd pair. but if you really looked rather closely, takin’ the time to absorb every detail, i’d definitely say we were far more similar past the common eye. but, i’ll go into that later. [ honey pauses for a moment ] sorry did i answer the question?”

danny: “you did, you did.”

honey: “good, good….so where was i?”

danny: “you were talkin’ about introducing yourself to benny and him being unimpressed.”

honey: “right, so one of johnny’s girl starts gettin’ all antsy. wants to go. has herself practically all over benny in a beg. her sister — no. her sister doesn’t wanna. the little thing has her hand practically chain locked to mine. so i did what any teacher would do and sweet talked her into going.”

danny: “how’d you manage that?”

honey: “i reminded her that her pa was a good man. that his interests were just as important as her own. that was all it took really.”

danny: “did you still think that later on? still do? after everything?

honey: [ honey sighs and puts out a cigarette she’d been smoking throughout the session ] “i did and i still do. i know some people will say that johnny was no good, that his club only created chaos. really though, the johnny i knew was trying to keep the peace as my benny well — wasn’t. one wrong look in my direction and my man was jumping the fool in seconds flat. and if they got a hand on me, oh they’d have to have a death wish upon ‘em. benny would not stand for that. he’d make their life a livin’ hell for as long as they lived. johnny — no johnny wasn’t like that unless it was real bad. unless someone got real hurt, then he’d fight back.”

danny: “like the bar fire?”

honey: “exactly like the bar fire. sure, a part of me felt bad for the owner. that his establishment just went up in flames like that. but the other part of me was glad those fuckers couldn’t step foot in such a place no more. and on top of i was rather pissed off — still am — by the fact that the owner just let my benny get attacked like that. did nothing to stop it. boils my blood just thinking about it. just thinking about my sweet benny minding his business and gettin’ swarmed for just wearin’ his colors. colors that wouldn’t come off of him once i got my artsy hands on it. he was absolutely obsessin’ with the patches i made. especially the one that said “honey’s hubby” with a big ol’ heart. made my cheeks burn real bad when he’d kiss it before tossing it right back on.”

danny: “i remember seeing that.”

honey: “you do?!”

danny: “yeah, the times i rode with the guys. i caught ‘em doing it here and there. especially when he was ‘bout to mount his bike before a ride. figured it was some sort of good luck charm before i really took a good look at what the patch said. then i realized it was you.”

honey: “danny?”

danny: “what?”

honey: “you gotta stop or i’m gonna be gushin’ the whole rest of this interview without giving yuh the real stuff.”

danny: “alright, alright [ lyon laughs ] back to business. so, what happened after you got johnny’s girl to go with benny? when’d you see him again?”

honey: “funnily enough, ‘twas the very next day. saw him first in the mornin’ y’know at drop off. i figured he gave a ride to the girls again or somethin’ — but no. it was betty who did. she came right up to me that morning to say hello. the hell was i thinkin’? i mean benny had his whole bike on him. no shot in hell he’d bring the girls on it.”

danny: “sure.” [ sarcasm is apparent in lyon’s words ]

honey: “danny no! [ honey laughs ] benny was wild but not that wild. he’d never let anything happen to those girls.”

danny: “i know, i know. only jokin’. i’m assumin’ that’s what drew you to him though?”

honey: “it was definitely a solid factor.”

danny: “understandable. did you go talk to him, at drop off?”

honey: “no, no. I didn’t think too much of it at the time and i couldn’t go shoot the breeze with him anyways. the lot was packed with all these little ones. i had to roll call mine. it wasn’t until after lunch hour during recess that i did.”

danny: “he was still there then? never left?”

honey: “as far as i know, no. had a whole garden of cigarette buds circling his feet like he’d been there for hours.”

danny: “what’d you say when you approached him?”

honey: “said something about the girls not getting out for another few hours and then asked him if he was stalkin’ me off the bat. oh — he offered me a cigarette too, and i took it.”

danny: “ripped the bandage right off i see. how’d he take that?”

honey: “seemed amusin’ to him. he made one of those faces that had all his features turnin’ up real pretty. can never forget that. flat out told me he wasn’t which i found strangely adorable. then — i don’t really know how it happened, but he was changing the subject completely. y’know when you’re having a conversation and ya kind of just naturally switch topics easily, but it’s done so smoothy, like the segue isn’t rough or whatever?”

danny: “yeah, i know what y’mean. the previous topic is wedged in there somehow subtly, but it makes sense why you got there.”

honey: “exactly. but, benny. no — when benny was in the midst of a conversation and started going on about something else there was no ease there. yet, you’d be fooled to think so. that’s how he got us out of most arguments honestly. one minute i wouldn’t be too happy with him about somethin’. probably somethin’ stupid anyways. if not stupid, than definitely about him ridin’ with an injury. always got me nervous. but then of course the next he’d have me wrapped up in his embrace as if five minutes prior hadn’t happened. here, for instance though, i guess the transition kind of made sense? i mean i was goin’ on about my co-worker freaking out about him just parking ship near campus, blabbing about and he’s asking about what time i get out, and if i wanna go on a ride. now, i’m dumbfounded by this. cause what the hell does he want to do with me, y’know?”

danny: “so what did ya do? did ya go with him?”

honey: “what’a ya think, daniel?”

[ an unknown interruption cuts the session here, but lyon obtains all the information from honey he needs — for now, that is ;) ]

[ the tape ends ]

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author’s note: hope ya liked this! i’m such a sucker for an interview writing style. daisy jones & the six is my favorite books ever if you can’t tell! <3

my requests are open for any miss honey x benny cross works + any convos about these two in general. don’t be shy honey, i’m all for yapping in the asks.

+ don’t forget to comment if you’d like be added to “da bee hive” (my version of da tag list)

smoochies. all da love xanadu 💋

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[rosapexa]

Brainrot (that's what you call it, when you take a photo and 100 things pop into your head, right?):

I was trying to get some happy couple summer photos of the rare occasion Johnny gets Lexa to go with him to the beach.

But nothing was cooperating. Light, poses/look at control, weather, everything was escalating 😑

But i got at least a hand holding photo in a romantic sandstorm 🥴 And when i was done and looked at this, i thought it kinda looks like he just proposed and they both think, that's the funniest shit ever 🤣

And that was when the rot hit 🤪...

So, would there actually be a possibility, that these two get married someday? Well, yes. It's not that they both believe in marriage or think it's necessary. But they would just do it because "why not?". Also Lexa Silverhand sounds kinda cool, if you ask me (and them) 😉

The proposal would probably be something like:

Johnny: "Have anything to do later?" Lexa: "No, why?" Johnny: " Wanna get married?" Lexa *instantly losing her shit* : "Very funny, Rockerboy." Johnny: "No, i mean it. You, me, courthouse, this afternoon. We go there, sign the papers, grab something to eat on our way home and then... *smirks*... wedding night." Lexa: *totally confused* Johnny *chuckles* : "Or do you have anything better to do today?" Lexa: "No... *still trying to figure out wtf" Johnny: "So...?" Lexa: "I'm not wearing a dress..." Johnny: "And i'm not wearing a suit." Lexa: "We're spending the rest of our lifes together anyway." Johnny: "Yes, we are." Lexa: "Ok, why not!?" Johnny: "Cool!"

And their wedding would really just be a thing of five minutes (and yes, totally only in comfy clothes like what they're wearing in the photo), where they just sign the papers and that's it. They wouldn't tell anyone before and very few afterwards. Johnny would gift Lexa a ring, but of course it wouldn't look at all like a classic wedding ring (Can you imagine her with a golden diamond wedding ring? Yeah, he and she neither) and he would't even wear one. Nothing would change at all. But they would also love that they are officially connected and would secretly call each other Mr. and Mrs., which they would never admit to anyone else.

[lovesung127]

Golden Age album review

Baggy Jeans-okay first of all the mv is absolutely wild. im like gagged. my jaw was dropped the whole time. probably screamed more times than i'd like to admit. THEY ALL LOOK SO HOT OMGOMGGMOGOGMSAJSDHAIDAJVI. the little insta photo with ten in 7thsense AHHHH. couldn't stop giggling at the bridge part with doyoung. the song itself is so catchy. LOVE LOVE LOVE jaehyun and doyoung's vocals in this song they ate it up. also when mark goes "yea boy" it ignites something in me. the bridge is so good and mark taeyong and ten ateeee. ALSO THE CHOREO IS SOO GOOD I LOVE ITT ESP THE END CHORUS

Call D- okay the intro is cute i love the like game boi sound. ALSO TAEYONGS VOCALS WHAT AHOVDKDKO okayy the chorus is so cute and upbeat i love. reminds me of some krnb song but i can't remember which one. kinda love the outro

PADO- okayy introoo. love taeyong's opening verse and johnny's too! eat it up hendery! XIAOJUNS VOCALS?!?! love haechans part! jaehyun's voice fits this so well. and i love mark's raps! OMFGG THE CHORUS AHASHSJHDSIHVUKV I LOVE IT AHAHHHHSDHHDHFHDVHV bridge is eating. love the whistling too

Interlude: Oasis- omfg is the chenle in the intro bc omg his voice is so heavenly. I LOVE JAEHYUNS WHISPER RAP THING! AND OMFG YUTAA! AND WINWIN AND JAEMINS RAP OKAYY! THIS IS SUCH A NICE COMBO OF RAPPERS OMGOMGOMGM THE CHORUS IS SO CATCHYY AND CVNTY

The BAT- wait i love the intro sounds so dream like. omg jungwooo HSHDSKSDKFDJ omg whoever is syaing "my bat" or something like that in the whisper voice OMFG? JENO AND JISUNG FAST RAPPING GAGGED ME TO MY CORE. WHOEVER THAT WAS ATE. OMFGG THE BRIDGEE AHJOFSJOF THE HIGH NOTES. this is so good. and yuta's vocals ate as he always those. im like dancing in my seat omfg. that was so good

Alley Oop- YUH OKAY! omg yangyang ateeeeee! and jaemin. YEEEE JISUNG OKAYYYYY! YAS JENO! WAIT WHOS DEEP VOICE SINGING IS THAT BC OMGGGG! i love this song its so like football stadium coded. yuta is slaying the vocals. okay slay winwin and hendery! IS THAT JISUNG SINGING?? major ass shaker. THE BRIDGE IS SO HEAVENLY OMG I LOVE IS THAT JISUNG SINGING AHAHAHAHHAHAHH I LOVE IT. i love the whole songs build up. okay adlibbbsss

That's Not Fair- YUHHH TAEYONGGGG! okay jeno and johnny. STOP I LOVE THE SINGING PART OKAY LIKE MARK LEADING AHSDFJFJKJ. like very musical marching! loved tens vocals. YESSSS YANGYANG IS SINGING! i love marks second rap. OMG THE WHISPER RAPPING PART. the melody sounds so familiar but i can't figure it out. i love the low voices

Kangaroo- the intro is cute like show choir vibes IS THAT TAEIL OPENING BC SLAY! STOP I LOVE WHEN YANGYANG AND JISUNG SING. this is such a cute and summer song! love chenles vocals and kun and renjun serveeed! this song is very beach vibes like im imagining sitting on a beach chair and waves are going in and out

Not Your Fault- oooo love the piano intro. YASSS RENJUN. Taeil's voice sound so nice omgggg. doyoung's voice fits this genre so well. ahhh the adlibs sound so good!!! jungwoo's voice sounds so sweet and heavenly and xiaojun's voice sounds so heavenly. the vocal unit atteeee

Golden Age- the switch up from doyoung's vocals to marks rap took me out. i was baffled. but yangyang's rap!!! WINWIN HAS LINES! I LOVE XIAOJUNS VOICE AHHHH!!! the bridge slayed. the mv was also so cool. this song is so coming of age movie ending coded. they all ate!

okay this whole album slayyed! like the members they did for each song all fit each other so well its wild. also their voices all sound so good together AHHH. my favorites are probs baggy jeans, pado, the bat, alley oop, and interlude:oasis is really good too! GO STREAM BAGGY JEANS AND THIS ALBUMMM!

[mrkcore]

𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄 - 𝐥.𝐦𝐤

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: mark lee x y/n (ft. minor appearances of johnny)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: college!au, aged down mark

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: mark said forever, even in his songs, but you should have known better. based off of olivia rodrigo’s new single, drivers license.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, i’m sorry in advance

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): cheating/infidelity, heartbreak  

𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨: drivers license - olivia rodrigo

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k 

𝐚/𝐧: this was finished at 2 am again, so please excuse me if this is incoherent 😌 also, i changed around the order of some lyrics and deleted some sections to fit the story, so it’s not 100% the same. feedback is always welcomed!

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @nakamotocore​, @astroboy-lele, @infnteen (comment here to be added!)

it was always so simple. even though mark was a year older, you guys planned it out. same university, same program, just different years. as simple as that. or so you thought.

i got my driver's license last week 

just like we always talked about 

'cause you were so excited for me 

to finally drive up to your house

but today i drove through the suburbs 

crying 'cause you weren't around 

mark started meeting you less often when he entered college. you didn’t think much of it, people always said the first year of college was the hardest. you just assumed the workload was catching him off-guard and he was too busy.

you didn’t tell him about getting your driver’s license. you wanted to surprise him. and you thought that if he was too busy, you’ll just go and visit him instead. before mark graduated, you guys would always be sneaking out at the crack of dawn in his white volkswagen, driving to the nearest mcdonalds, ordering whatever you craved. no cares or worries in the world. 

“hey, when are you going to get your license anyways?” mark asked you one night. “i’m always the one driving, am i your personal chauffeur or something?”

“hmm, what if you are?” you tease him. mark shoots daggers at you. “i’m kidding, i’m kidding! maybe next year, when i turn 18.”

“i’m excited.” he leaned back into his seat. “you’d be able to visit me whenever.”

“i’d annoy you.” you snort. he chuckles and playfully hits you.

“you know you’d never.” he looks at you, like he really meant it.

but he didn’t. because now, tears flow down your face as you drive home in your car from mark’s university.

and i know we weren't perfect, but i've never felt this way for no one 

and i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that i'm gone 

guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 

'cause you said forever, now i drive alone past your street 

mark was always super passionate about songwriting. and when you guys were introduced to each other in guitar club of your freshman year, he finally found a companion to confide his interest in. when you guys snuck out, he would always bring his computer, speakers, and guitar. he’d play you the demos and songs that he had made and would want your opinions on them.

“how does it sound?” he asked you, pressing pause on his computer. it was the last day before the summer of freshman year for you, and he said he wanted to show you ‘something special’.

“yeah it’s pretty good, i think you could do a more complex guitar riff though? it would sound sick if you used E minor and riffed off onto the E major.” you suggested and turned to face mark’s smiling face. “what are you staring at?” you poked him.

“i wrote this about you, you dummy.” he flicked your forehead. “could you not tell?”

“ow, no?” you rubbed to soothe where he flicked you. “its too cheesy, and ‘that sun shining on me, my heart alive and breathing i want only one with you, all the things you make me do for you’? nah, mark lee has a little crush on someone.” you wiggled your eyebrows.

“yeah,” you whipped your head around. “you.” your brain stopped and all you feel is your heartbeat racing. you had never been romantically interested in mark, only friends. but that day changed it all.

“ayo, stop playing the innocent freshman girl.” you huff out. “i have a weak heart.” he taps your chin and turns your face back around.

“dude, i’m not playing.” he gazes into your eyes. “i’m serious, no joke.” your heart starts beating faster, the butterflies in your stomach are wild and your breaths are accentuated by the silence in the car. 

and that’s when he leans in. pressing his soft, watermelon chapstick flavoured lips onto yours. 

you close your eyes and you feel like you’re dreaming. 

“did that prove it?” he says when he pulls away, grinning at you.

“you’re pretty bold making a move on a freshman, bro.” you roll your eyes but your insides feel warm and fuzzy. “and you stole my first kiss!” you exclaim as you push him lightly and he puffs out in disbelief.

“what else do i gotta do to prove to you that i’m for real?” he says, crossing his arms.

“pinky promise me,” you say. “that you won’t leave and you’ll love me forever.” reaching out your pinky. mark laughs, his pinky intertwined with yours.

“now who’s the one who’s cheesy?” he teases. laughing as you angrily attempt to hit him. “i’m joking, i promise, forever.”

you should have known better, promises were made to be broken. but the sticky sweet watermelon flavour stuck on your lips blind you.

and all my friends are tired 

of hearing how much i miss you, but i kinda feel sorry for them 

'cause they'll never know you the way that i do 

yeah, today i drove through the suburbs 

and pictured i was driving home to you 

you know your friends are tired of you rambling about mark. even though they’ve endured it for 3 years already, they don’t see why you’re still talking about him even when he’s gone. you don’t really blame them though. you ditch them to hang out with mark all the time, it was like he was the higher priority than they were, but you were just realizing.

but could they blame you? mark was the definition of dreamy. anyone in your position would understand and agree. all of the fun, secrets, journeys, songs you shared, you felt like nobody knew him like you did. you felt like you were on cloud 9. 

but now is too late, as you realized after mark left that there was no one else that you would, could drive and feel at home with. you feel empty.

and you're probably with that blonde girl 

who always made me doubt 

she's so much older than me 

she's everything i'm insecure about 

yeah, today i drove through the suburbs 

'cause how could i ever love someone else? 

you felt like you had been stabbed in the chest. you stood there frozen, heart aching and numb. 

mark told you the address and room of where he was living before he left. when you arrived, you met johnny, mark’s roommate. he said mark was at the production studio probably and he could walk you to where it was.

when you arrived, you saw the back of mark’s head and the back of the sweater you gave him before he left. and right beside him, a blonde girl. sitting comfortably with her head rested on his shoulder. you stood there shocked. forgetting that johnny was standing beside you, he notices the change in your mood and asks if you were okay.

“oh, yeah i’m fine. i was just checking up on him, his mom wanted me to, haha.” you tried to laugh it off. “he needs to call them back to reassure them he’s not dead yet.” johnny’s laugh echos in your ears as you reassure yourself that they’re just friends. nothing’s going on between them, mark is just a super nice person.

“that’s kim aera by the way. the TA for mark’s producing class. i think she’s in her third year? anyways, mark really enjoys working with her. it’s like he lives in the studio, he’s always asking her for suggestions and other stuff.” johnny explains. you tense up, you were the only person that mark had wanted to ask suggestions from. pause, you were. not anymore. but it makes sense, she’s the TA, she obviously had more knowledge and experience in the studio. and she’s more, accessible… “what’s the deal between you two though? mark never mentions anything to me, what’s your name?” johnny snaps you out of your daze. 

“oh, uh, i’m y/n, mark’s family friend.” you try to cover up the nervousness and cracking in your voice. “yeah. our parents are close, so her mom can count on me to report on him. haha.” you laugh lightly. “i’m going to get going now, mark is obviously intact, so that’s good. i’ll catch you around.”

“oh cool. see you.” johnny waves, and you walk out the door.

you try to convince yourself that there’s nothing going on between mark and this aera, but reassurance won’t make the truth disappear. 

you come back a few weeks later. you thought that after finals, he might be more free, and you guys could finally hang out for once. you thought that after hanging out again, everything would go back to normal. he’d go back to texting you, showing you new songs, and maybe hanging out more often as well.

“oh hey y/n, you’re back?” johnny answers the door once again. “he’s at the studio right now, do you need me to walk you there?”

“i think i’m good, i remember where it is. sorry for disrupting you. bye.” you smiled, and after johnny waves back and closes the door, you walk towards the studio.

you think of many different scenarios of how this will play out, but this isn’t what you expected. 

you walk into the studio, about to call mark’s name, but you see the blonde locks again. 

“thanks for helping me out with the lyrics, you’re really good with words.” mark says, smiling. “i think you’re a great role model.” 

you feel a little jab at your side. lyricism was never your strong suit. you could write beautiful melodies and harmonies, but the words never seem to come out.

your heart stops. right when their lips lock. with the way her arms are pulling mark in by his nape, you can tell that she’s more experienced. you felt like you had been stabbed in the chest. you stood there frozen, heart aching and numb. you bolt out the door, you feel suffocated. you really were naive. if this is what heartbreak feels like, you don’t think that falling in love is worth it anymore.

you don’t look back. that’s the last time you ever see mark again. 

apparently johnny asked mark about you.

“hey mark,” johnny calls out. “how was your meeting with your family friend y/n yesterday?” 

mark stops dead in his tracks and his heart sinks. you came to see him? how come he didn’t see you? how did johnny know your name? and, why were you his family friend?

“oh uh, yeah it went well, thanks for telling me anyways.” mark escapes to his room.

mk.l

hey

did you come to see me?

you

no

why?

mk.l

oh, nevermind then.

johnny probably got the name wrong.

red lights, stop signs 

i still see your face in the white cars, front yards 

can't drive past the places we used to go to 

'cause i still fucking love you, babe 

sidewalks we crossed i still hear your voice in the traffic

we're laughing over all the noise 

god, i'm so blue, know we're through 

but i still fucking love you, babe 

the world was quieter and stopped spinning. that feeling of being on top of the world all the time stopped too. you stopped going on your phone, you stopped socializing with people in general to be honest. you didn’t know how to face anyone. everywhere you went, everything you did, reminded you of mark. mark’s laugh, mark’s random nose scrunches, mark’s favourite songs, mark’s guitar, mark’s self-written melodies. you can’t go to mcdonalds, you can’t watch the sunset inside your car at the parking lot behind your local church, you couldn’t even pick up your guitar anymore. your melodies and harmonies didn’t come as smoothly anymore. you felt sick, you didn’t want to do music. it’s just not the same anymore. you didn’t feel like you had a purpose. 

but you slowly got back up. music became your way of coping. listening to other people’s songs about heartbreak, you felt like you weren’t alone. your first heartbreak, no one there to teach you about it, and no one there to comfort you. so you did it yourself. you had no musical purpose, but now, your music was for you, your own personal expression. all the harmonies, melodies, colours, came back to you. and unexpectedly out of the blue, the words came to you too. 

i know we weren't perfect, but i've never felt this way for no one 

and i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that i'm gone 

'cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 

'cause you said forever, now i drive alone past your street 

yeah, you said forever, now i drive alone past your street

the backing instrumentals fade out and the emotion in your voice trickles into the darkness of mark’s room as he closes his laptop. 

you found your words. he thinks, smiling sadly. finally.

©mrkcore, 2021.

[doiefy]

nct as songs! any unit or members idk you pick

oooooo okokook this is fun, thank you anon !! <333 i'll do my 127 boys then because i actually have a folder of playlists based on each member (yall hmu if you want em 😳). edit: yep. i went all out with these, couldn't help myself.

taeil: re-bye by akmu. something about taeil screams jazz. he's so classy but also just. plain weird. funky and quirky, kinda awkward but in a sweet and very loveable way. he'll trip over beats, swing notes, hit the wrong chords in an experimental way, but he'll make it sound good. late mornings and brunch at a traditional diner. bitter coffee turned sweet with copious sugar.

johnny: allergic by post malone. maybe it's because of that ig video where he dances to it, but yeah. coming of age, college movie lead in a big blockbuster. charming girls around campus, getting his heart broken all too often, but getting up and walking past like nothing happened. messy math notes, chewed up pencils, chaotic dorm, waking up in the bathtub hungover and not knowing how he got there.

taeyong: subside by eloise. was debating giving this to taeil because it'll be on the playlist for my next taeil fic, but this is totally taeyong. lowkey, soft domestic boyfriend who feeds the neighbour's cats and takes lost puppies under his wing. nothing grand, nothing over the top, just mornings in bed, drowning in the warmth of fresh laundry while the sun spreads its rays across the bedsheets. 

yuta: baka mitai by kazuma kiryu. okay LISTEN, the song fucking slaps even if the memes prevail. this was on the playlist for my vampire yuta fic, and seriously, just imagine: late night drives, city lights, the classic 80s and 90s hits on his squeaky, static-laced radio. classy, elegant, almost kind of traditional, but he brings his own style to it. 

doyoung: love scene by baekhyun. i contemplated putting a more traditional ballad for him, but he's in his e-boy phase and we take those. late nights, black clothes, edgy lil bitch but not in the sense of stealing shopping carts and going for joyrides around empty parking lots. contemplative, dark, moody, quiet. nights spent locked in his room with his mini fridge and projector.

jaehyun: feels like you by faime. he's a fucking heartthrob, that's what he is. simple guitar riff, soft falsetto, dream-like melodies. sweater vests and nice dress shirts, oversized jeans. a first date on the first day of spring: pink skies, picnics in the park, blossoming trees and dancing under the stars. gentle love and soft confessions.

jungwoo: yoru ni kakeru by yoasobi. c'mon. that's him. fun-loving, free-spirited, running wild through the night and reliving his high school days. being scared of being reckless, being scared of getting caught, but doing it all anyways. screaming bloody murder in the backseat of a car while the driver goes 40 over the speed limit.

mark: origami by unlike pluto. another movie protagonist. he's the male lead in a indie summer film that probably involves a scene where he goes cliff diving with his buddies. coming of age, going through the pain of grief and loss, throwing caution to the wind when he comes out of it; enjoying life the way he wants to.

haechan: i shot cupid by stela cole. he's in his rebellious, big boy phase okay. stomping around in combat boots and leather jackets, but you best bet you’ll find him getting all soft and trying on glittery lip gloss. hitching rides on motorcycles after spray painting a giant dick on a mailbox in the middle of the night. flashing neon lights, silver accessories, customized chrome bike accents.

[esthersixx]

Daniel LaRusso (80s imagine) "The new neighbor"

---------------------------------------

Y/n's POV

It was summer time when me and my mom moved out to an apartment in Reseda. It was all new! New home, new school, new friends, new life! I'm not going to lie that i was expecting something bigger than that, but it's fine. I was deep in my toughts when my mom asked me to take out the boxes that we brought with our stuff. 

"Also the toilet flush it's not flushing, you could ask if somebody in here knows how to fix it." 

Oh god, that was all i need to do to make some friends. Friends that fix my toilet. My mom knows exactly how to embarrass me.

I did the first thing on her list and i started knocking some apartments. The first one just shoot the door in my face when i said 'hi', and the last three did the same. I was about to quit when i knocked this last door. 

"hi, can i help you?" a smiling young guy said. He was absolutely handsome and i just stood there looking at him. "Can i?" he asked again. 

"oh my god, i'm so sorry! It's really awkward, cause you're like the first person that actually talked to me in here." 

He laughed. 

"It's okay."

"Well, now it's about to get awkward again... My mom needs someone to fix her toilet, it's not flushing, you know...?" i literally blushed just to look at him. 

"Oh, i know someone who can do this. Mr. Miyagi. He's also the greatest karate sensei in this town." he smiled at me. Omg, i'm getting weak with this smile. 

"That's perfect!"

"I'll give you his address." he said coming into his apartment and grabbing a paper and a pencil to write it down Mr. Miyagi's address. 

"So, i guess i see you around..." i smiled at him while already going to my apartment. 

"I didn't catch your name. I'm Daniel LaRusso." he raised his hand to me and i grabbed. 

"I'm y/n." I smiled shyly at him. 

"See you soon, y/n" he was so damn cute. 

A while after that day I found out that Daniel was studying at the same school as me. Of course, we became friends, although I think we could be more than that... He was always around my place to study with me. Sometimes with a black eye, a gift that Johnny Lawrence was always giving to him. Anyways, the toilet was fixed! 

"I hate math." i confessed after a long silence between me and Daniel. We were at my room, and let's say, pretty alone since my mom was working. 

"Me too. I don't know why we are forced to learn this. It's a total waist of time. I'm not going to use this shit in my life." he threw the pencil on the floor and looked at me.

"Hey... Do you wanna talk about this black eye?" i said while noticing it, for the third time in that month.

"It's complicated... I wish i could beat his ass, but all i do in Miyagi's dojo is cleaning his cars at the moment. No karate for me, i guess..." he sounded a little sad. 

"I don't know what to say, Daniel... maybe that's his method."

"It could be... Well, let's talk about something else." we changed the subject. 

"You know, I thought you were into Ali."

"At the first time yeah, but she's way too different than me and she clearly have feelings for that asshole. I'm into another person at the moment." 

"Mmmm, really? Who's the lucky one?" i said interested, curious, but mostly kinda sad. 

"She spends most of her free time with me, listening to my complaints and problems." he tesead. 

"Oh, really? What's her name? How she looks like?" i started to feel hurt. 

"She's very good looking, has this beautiful smile, and her hair is amazing, always smeling so good, i wish i could spent more time just very close to her." he approached me and sniffed my hair.

"Mmm, yeah? What's her name?" okay, now i was nervous. 

"It's you, y/n. It has always been you." I looked into those brown eyes and we kissed.

[the-archxr]

Nobody Puts Harrington in a Corner

steve harrington x reader

Summary: What do you do when you want to go see a romance movie but have no one to take you? You haul along your best friend and have an impromptu dance lesson after, of course.

A/N: y’all I fucking love Dirty Dancing so much, it’s not even funny. This fic is honestly just self-indulgent, so enjoy??? Even if you don’t like Dirty Dancing.

Song Inspo: (I’ve Had) Time of My Life - Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley, Hungry Eyes - Eric Carmen

•••••

“I have a business proposition for you.”

The words come out rushed, ragged and breathless. A strange mix that Steve isn’t particularly familiar with when it’s coming from you. His eyes trail up to your hunched figure, shocked at what he sees.

Your face is a blotchy red, with blown cheeks, and a heaving chest. With complete disregard of your previous statement he speaks up. “Did you run here?”

You shrug, and wipe at your forehead. “Yeah, but that’s besides the point.” Straightening your back, you almost square up Steve as a way of proving your point.

He leans his hip against the countertop with his arms crossed and hair falling haphazardly in his face. “I need to ask you something, Steve. And before you say no, just remember that I’m literally you’re most favourite person on the face of this planet who has saved your ass more times than I can count.”

“Okay..?” He pushes himself off the counter before straightening out the ugly green vest he has to wear. “What is it?”

You smile wildly but force yourself to keep some composure as to not draw Keith’s attention, who has definitely kicked you out of the store before, and wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.

“So...there’s this new movie...”

“Well there’s a lot of new movies, Y/N.” He butts in playfully, which earns a small glare in his direction (which inevitably turns into a smile, but you assume he’s too unobservant to actually notice).

“Anyway,” you exaggerate, wringing your hands together. “I want to see this movie, and no one will go with me...so I’m forcing you to be my...” you hesitate, trying to find the word. However, the one you were trying to avoid slips out. “My date.”

The boys eyes widen almost immediately as he awkwardly falls back a bit. “Your...date? Like a...date date?”

“What? No!” You say quickly, shaking your head. “No, I’m not asking you out, Harrington. I’m saving that for Family Video’s regular attendees.” You gesture to a group of giggling girls who’ve you seen here one to many times, who very obviously come here for the sole purpose that is Steve Harrington. “No, it’s cause it’s a romance movie, and I don’t really wanna’ go alone.”

He frowns and lifts his shoulders in question. “Why not?”

You laugh to yourself, the question sitting awkwardly within your mind. “Because...it’s embarrassing? I mean what would you think if you saw me by myself in that situation?”

He pauses and shrugs. “I guess I’d feel...I don’t know, pity? It’s a tough question.” He mumbles, eliciting a roll of your eyes.

You brush off his remark of it being a “tough question” and clear your throat. “Exactly, Steven. Which is why you are going to accompany me to this movie, so that way I don’t have to deal with the apparent pity.”

It’s silent for a moment. Steve chooses to lean against the counter again, as he mauls over your offer. “I don’t even like romance movies, Y/N.”

You frown and lean in closer to your friend. “I know, but please, Steve.”

You grab his hand and squeeze it, batting your eyelashes at him in the most exaggerated way you know. You don’t like manipulating people (much less your best friend), but for reasons unknown, the poor boy can never really say no to you—and you really need him to say yes.

His gaze make its way from your clasped hands, up your arm and to your face. His chest tightens and his whole body turns rigid as he watches you allow your head to lean ever-so-slightly to the side. Soon,  the tips of his ears grow hot and then -

“Um...excuse me?” Both of your necks snap to the source of the voice. It’s one of the girls from the group earlier, and you can’t help but chuckle, because she looks just as nervous as she sounds. Her eyes are quickly cast on Steve, which causes her to flick her ponytail back with a shaky smile. “My friends and I are trying to look for a certain movie, and we can’t seem to find it. Do you mind helping us?”

You turn to Steve with a smirk. He clears his throat, noticing that the hand that held his a mere few seconds ago rests casually on the counter. You look unbothered by the events that had occurred, which makes Steve’s stomach drop (and not in a good way). He frowns in your direction once more before shaking himself out of it, shooting a smile in the girls direction. “No problem.”

You laugh and stride towards the door. “The movie starts at seven, but you might as well show up thirty minutes early ‘cause you have a little tendency called ‘being late’, Harrington.”

You hold the door open, one side of your body burning with the summer heat that threatens the comfort of everyone, and the other side facing Steve and the air-conditioned store. You wait until he looks back at you, which takes him a few seconds before he’s practically shooing you away. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll see.”

You jump in excitement and wink at the boy. “See you tonight, Stevie!”

“See you tonight,” he mumbles, before turning to the jittery group of girls in the corner.

•••••

“Look who’s the late one!” Steve shouts in your direction. It’s 6:50 (which is even a little late for you) and surprisingly Steve has already arrived. “Ya know I’ve been sitting here for like, fifteen minutes.”

You shut your car door and stride up the cocky boy. “Oh, I am truly sorry, your Highness, but my dear mother was keeping me up.”

He hums, looking you up and down with fake accusation. “...Apology accepted,” he shoots back before standing up and guiding the two of you to concession.

Really, it’s a miracle that the two of you made it on time. And it’s an even bigger miracle that the last two seats in the theatre were directly beside each other; enough space for the two of you, and your obscenely large bucket of popcorn.

Steve leans over to you as the lights dim dramatically. His breath ghosts over the shell of your ear, forcing your attention onto him. “So, uh, what kinda’ movie title is ‘Dirty Dancing’?”

You shake your head at him and push his face towards the screen. “Just watch the movie, Farmer Fred.”

“You and your Sixteen Candles references...” he mutters before you kick his foot with yours in annoyance. “Okay, okay, I’ll be quiet.”

He sighs and leans back in his seat, remaining quiet for the rest of your “date”.

•••••

The movie ends quickly—way too quickly for your liking, and when the lights turn back on you can’t help but frown.

The sound of clapping from the viewers drowns out the sounds of popcorn being squished on the ground and the squeaking of the seats.

Steve is standing up, his shadow casted over you as you try to steady yourself after sitting for so long. He lets you walk past him, hand grazing your lower back as he guides you through the bustling stream of exiting movie-goers.

Soon, the two of you have left the theatre itself and face the stark cold air of the night. “So...” Steve starts, slowly walking you to your car. “What did you th—“

“It was amazing!” You shout, eyes blown with excitement as you hop back and forth. With a breath you let yourself slip into pur amusement after having to control yourself for so long. “I mean the dancing and the plot was incredible! And—and the end was just...just so good! And don’t get me started on Patrick Swayze! Like, oh my god, who does he think he is just looking like that, prancing around without a care in the world?!”

Steve laughs and stops just before your car as you unlock it. “Yeah, honestly it wasn’t that bad. The lift was something else though.” He leans against the door as you put your purse into the passenger's seat. “I mean I can’t imagine doing that! And the amount of times they probably had to do it?! Geez, it’d be hell.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “Oh, come on, it didn’t look that hard.”

Steve’s jaw drops with a shake of his head. “Well it wasn’t hard for Baby, obviously. All she had to do was jump! Johnny was the one who had to hold her up!”

You laugh incredulously at your best friend before a rather treacherous idea pops in your head. You bite your lip, slam the car door shut and look out into the somewhat empty parking lot.

“Well, why don’t we out this theory to the test...?”

Steve’s laughter dies quickly before a squeak of a “what?” slips out of his mouth. You grab his hand and lead him to a rather deserted spot just south of where your cars are parked.

“Let’s try it out! Let’s be Baby and Johnny. Let’s do the lift.” Your tone turns serious which only adds to Steve’s ever-growing nervousness.

“You can’t be serious...” His hands are deep in his pockets as he leans from one foot to the other. Strands of hair in fall in front of his face, and for a moment, in the distant light, he really does look like Johnny.

You can’t help but really notice the oddity of the whole situation. What with Steve looking like a reincarnation of Johnny Castle and you deciding to get somewhat dressed up and wear your favourite sundress—one that is oddly similar to Baby’s. It’s a funny little coincidence that you opt to point out later. But now? The two of you have to do this.

You remove your jacket, leaving it on the ground and shake out your limbs before looking straight at your friend. Steve’s face deepens with his shock. “Oh god, you are serious.”

You laugh and signal at Steve to get ready. Instead he shakes his head. “Y/N, I--I don’t think this is the best idea.”

“Steve, come on! We’re testing out are hypothesis’ as to who had a more difficult time performing the lift.”

He shuffles quickly, and with a groan, throws his jacket off his body. “I swear to god, Y/N.” You here him mumble as he nervously fidgets and bends his knees. He gets into a stance similar to Johnny’s and holds out his hands to you. His whole body is shaking—which in comparison is odd because yours simply feels light.

The cold prickles at your exposed skin, and it sends your senses into overdrive as your eyes lock onto Steve’s.

Kicking off your shoes, you dig your heels into the ground and prepare yourself.

“Oh, and Steve?” His head shoots up to you. “Don’t drop me.”

He stands up straight at that as he loses his concentration. “Oh well that’s a really comforting thing to sa—WAIT!”

You had already started running. Your feet pounding against the gravel as fly-away pebbles poke the soles of your feet; your body gaining momentum with every step.

Steve rushes into the stance, desperately trying to ground himself.

“Steve!” You shout with a laugh as you jump. His hands catch your waist as he extends his legs. It almost works but with Steve’s partially delayed actions, your head barely gets above his before he’s stumbling backward.

He falls first, with you quickly following as his grip pulls you down with him.

You land on his chest, and for a moment the air is filled with shock. Rolling onto the ground beside him, you regain your breath before bursting in laughter.

“Jesus, Y/N!” He shouts, body tingling with nerves.

By now the parking lot is empty, save for the cars of the theatres workers, which means that your laugh echoes to the neighbouring buildings.

Steve pushes a hand through his hair before inhaling deeply. His eyes cast to your figure—still rolling on the ground—and before he has a chance to reprimand you, something hits him.

It’s a sudden feeling. One that pulls the last of his breath out of his lungs and throws it into the night sky. You don’t notice his sudden change in behaviour, and to be frank, he doesn’t even really recognize what he’s feeling other than the fact that he felt this...murmur this morning. Except this time it’s amplified.

He hears pounding in his ears, and as he watches the faint, yellow light from the theatre cast over your face, he feels the pit of his stomach burst open. Butterflies flutter around in his belly and threaten to escape his throat.

The feeling—one that is shocking, but not unwelcome—is indescribable. The boy gets lost in his thoughts as he watches you finally get up off the ground and gather your things.

Steve feels as though he’s watching an old tape. The pictures move slowly, and they’re a little fuzzy, but they elicit warm, nostalgic feelings.

Suddenly your voice rings through his ears, until he recognizes that you’re looking at him a little confused. Steve is snapped out of his trance, his body jumping up to match yours. Your eyes are wide as you stare him up and down. “You get another concussion?”

The joke is familiar, but his laugh is delayed. He simply shakes his head, realizing that this is the first time he’s actually looked at you (and if he’s honest, you’re making him a little nervous). He takes note that even though you look messy--with wild hair everywhere and a breathtaking smile--he can’t help but admire you in your most natural state. However you break the moment (unknowingly) with a shrug. Spinning on your heel to your car, you continue to talk to him as he walks over to the familiar, beat-up BMW. “Anyway, I was saying that for a first time that wasn’t bad. We just need a little practice.”

“The first time?” Steve questions, leaning on the roof of his car. “There’s gonna’ be a second time?”

You shrug with a cheeky smile. “If you want...”

He allows a small smile—a smile he can’t tell if you catch from the distance, but one he hopes you feel. “Yeah. I do.”

You smile back at him, and soon your bidding him goodnight and driving out of the parking lot.

Steve, on the other hand waits. He’s stunned, obviously. So much so that part of him is concerned about this new revelation. But the other part of him, recognizes it. He may be oblivious, but he’s not necessarily stupid.

And how could he be? When he hasn’t felt this way before...and it’s such a strong feeling. If anything, he’s forced to figure it out.

He grins to himself, the sight of you burned into his memory and carved into his heart. It’s the kind of sight that he knows he’ll see behind closed eyes and dazed moments where he can’t help but let his mind wander.

It’s a sight that promises something new.

He can’t wait to tell Robin about this.

•••••

Steve Harrington Taglist:

@wigofokoye @timeladygallifrey @fairlysuitehearts @loulouloueh @bluegreyme @coltonparayyko @readinthegarden12 @hello-therree @gothackedalready @aphrodites-perfume @arielizzlewizzle @fic-cheesecake @bohemiandeakyy @nerd-domland @blueoz @laneygthememequeen @xelaalec @i-justlikewhales @elen-alambil @heykarsyn @yellowhopes @veeshthefrog @justsomeficsilike @cxddlyash @aniya21890 @billyhargrovescigarette @nugturally @daddystevee @asheseiler @enchantedcruelsummer @gwenandtheunfortunatename

[yuminsung]

NCT 2020: SYNERGY (my wishes for an album)

I was positive we were getting an NCT 2020 comeback at the start of the year, however now I have realised I am a clown. So, instead, I have spent longer than I should’ve creating an album filled with stuff that I would like to see.

I want to preface this with the fact that I have no qualifications in anything related to music / album design / production or anything like that, this is just based on my opinions as a fan of music and NCT.

I’m gonna split this into 4 sections to kinda separate my thoughts, and so it’s easier to navigate.

1. TITLE

NCT 2018s album is titled EMPATHY, the definition of this being “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another”. I think SM chose this to reflect how NCT 2018 was an amalgamation of 127, DREAM, and U. I wanted to try and keep this theme for NCT 2020, though expand on it due to the addition of WAYV. 

SYNERGY is defined as “the combined power of a group when they are working together, that is greater than the total power achieved by each working separately”. To be honest, I think the word ‘synergy’ perfectly sums up NCT’s concept of sub-units, so it would be a good choice for NCT 2020s album’s title due to its meaning as well as its similarity to ‘empathy’ sound-wise. 

2. ALBUM COVER 

The album cover for EMPATHY was very bright, like all the colours of the rainbow, but still very minimalistic and kinda futuristic? The NCT vibe. I think their second album would suit a slightly more mature design, and as I have no talent in design, I’m going to use existing album covers to give an idea of what i think would work well.

If SM was to go down the route of a similar album cover, I think the best example is the 1975′s newest album:

It still has the text elements that were prominent on EMPATHY’s cover, while being more minimalistic in colour (aside from the yellow side panel which would theoretically be bright neobong green).

If they were to go along a different route to EMPATHY, I think this album cover by Paris Jones could work well for NCT 2020:

If the background surface was black, a polaroid of all 21 members could be a simple but effective album cover. 

In terms of promotional photos, this scene from the WAYV ‘Regular’ MV is my first thought:

Photos taken on a set like this, with all the members dotted about the room and maybe the album title + members’ names repeated across the screens could work well to give off the futuristic NCT vibe. 

3. TITLE TRACK / CONCEPT 

I can’t create a whole album’s worth of songs, so for the next two sections all the songs mentioned are going to be from existing artists. I’m not trying in anyway to suggest that “NCT would do it better” or that NCT should release the exact songs mentioned - I’m just using these songs to represent the styles I would like to see NCT explore. 

Title Track: GETTING CLOSER - SEVENTEEN 

I think SVT are a really good example of having a lot of members that all have the opportunity to shine. Getting Closer is that bitch, like the line distribution is spot-on and the choreography is one of my all-time favourites. 

Black on Black was mainly instrumental to highlight the performance ability of NCT 2018. Getting Closer is reminiscent of BoB in its powerful nature, but would be able to show NCT 2018′s growth into NCT 2020, with further vocal / rap capabilities showcased alongside the previously established performance talent.

The concepts of BoB and Getting Closer are already similar, so this wouldn’t be anything out of NCT’s / SM’s comfort zone, and would also work towards establishing a dark & powerful ‘brand’ for when all sub-units perform together as one. 

Special Stage: UH-OH - (G)-IDLE

I would like to see NCT 2020 do something a little bit different than ‘powerful’ for the special stage. Uh-Oh has a really chilled kinda west-coast vibe that I think NCT are yet to fully explore in any sub-unit but could absolutely pull off. It would be a stage where they could genuinely have fun performing all together. 

I imagine the stage being done in a way similar to Growl by EXO in that certain groups of members come onto the stage for different verses, then all come on together for the final chorus.

The styling for Uh-Oh is kinda summer streetwear. The best equivalent I’ve found for a boy group in this style is ATEEZ Wave era.

This shows kinda how I think the styling for this stage should be, in particular Jongho, Yunho, and Mingi. Just think lots of colour, street brands, and denim. 

Getting Closer and Uh-Oh are the only songs on the album where I’ve put all 21 members on the same track. 

4. TRACKLIST 

I have no talent when it comes to album design / composition or anything like that, but I tried to create a sort of theme / flow between the songs I picked for the album. NCT songs I’d liken the overall theme to are ‘Love Song’ from Neo Zone, ‘Love Again’ from Reload, and ‘YESTODAY’ from Empathy. 

I’ve used an intro, interlude, and outro to show progression of NCT 2020 through the album, with these 3 songs getting more upbeat one by one. Though extremely cringey, I guess I was trying to emulate them growing happier through being together as a group.

Aside from the two tracks mentioned above that feature all members, the rest of the songs are split into sub-units, whether it be pre-existing unofficial units within NCT or a selection of members I think suit the style of a certain song. I have not included any official NCT sub-units on this album, as that was done in EMPATHY. I’d like this to be one big NCT U album, where we get the members in combinations we’d otherwise never get to hear performing together. 

The Tracklist: 

INTRO: The Unknown Guest (DEAN)

Members: Xiaojun

Xiaojun is a beyond amazing singer (he is my joint favourite vocalist in NCT). This song has an old feel, it’s almost haunting, and I really think Xiaojun’s voice would suit such a song perfectly. Xiaojun performing an intro of this style alone would open the album well and give him the time to shine he deserves !

Track 1: Getting Closer (SVT)

Members: All

(Explained above)

Track 2: CHILLI (SVT)

Members: Rap Line (Taeyong, Johnny*, WinWin*, Lucas, Mark, Hendery, Jaemin, YangYang, Jeno, Jisung*)

I might have completely forgotten some songs but I don’t think NCT have ever released a rap-heavy song of this style. I would love to see them do a rap song with this sort of relaxed vibe - it would show off diversity in their rapping abilities and would be a fun concept to see.

*I know Johnny, WinWin, and Jisung are in both the vocal and rap lines, but I’ve chosen to include them on the rap line track rather than the vocal line track as I think they suit the vibe of this track better than the vocal track. Plus, it would give the three of them more lines (god knows they need them) if they were on this track rather than with the vocal line :)

Track 3: Uh Oh (G-IDLE)

Members: All

(Explained above) 

Track 4: The Truth Untold (BTS)

Members: Vocal Line (Taeil, Yuta, Doyoung, Kun, Ten, Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Xiaojun, Renjun, Haechan, Chenle)

Although NCT has released ballads before, I would love to hear members from different subunits singing together. Like, imagine Renjun, Xiaojun, and Jungwoo on the SAME track - the power. Taeil and Chenle harmonising? Iconic.

Track 5: Spotlight (1the9)

Members: Foreign Swaggers / English-Speaking Line (Johnny, Ten, Jaehyun, Hendery, Xiaojun, Mark, YangYang)

I know Xiaojun, Hendery, and YangYang aren’t technically in the Foreign Swaggers, but I feel like spiritually they are. I wanna see 6 of them causing havoc while Jaehyun spectates (https://youtu.be/acsjfk4cz1U). A song with a playful vibe, not necessarily in English, would suit these members well.

INTERLUDE: Dayfly (DEAN)

Members: Taeil, Taeyong, Kun, Doyoung, Jungwoo

I don’t have any reasoning for why I’ve chosen these specific members for this song other than the fact I think the style suits them well. I think the 5 of them together on an interlude with a relaxed feel would just be a really calming break in the album.  

Track 6: Vibe (1Team)

Members: Taeyong, Yuta, Jungwoo, Jeno, Jaemin, Haechan, Jisung

This is quite a broad range of members in terms of age but I don’t think that matters as each of their styles would suit a song like this. A relaxed style and structure similar to the one this song has would allow each of them to shine, as it’s nearly an equal split of rappers to vocalists.

Track 7: Retro Future (Triple H)

Members: Johnny, Ten

Baby Don’t Stop 2.0. I can just imagine these two singing a song like this and having so much fun. A JohnTen duet track is giving the gays (read @incorrectnct​ ) not only what they want, but what they deserve. 

Track 8: Base Line (J-HOPE)

Members: 99 Line (Lucas, Mark, Hendery, Xiaojun)

The 99 line is 3/4 rappers so a song that is rap-heavy in style would best showcase their ability. We’ve heard Mark and Lucas together during EMPATHY era, and Lucas with Hendery and Xiaojun in WAYV, so I have no doubts the 4 would work together. Plus, rapper Xiaojun could be something that we don’t yet have but definitely need. 

Track 9: Focus on Me (JUS2)

Members: 97 Line (Jaehyun, WinWin)

These two are made for a sexy concept like the style of this song, and their voices complement each-others’ so well. I always felt Jaehyun was one of the members of 127 WinWin was most comfortable around, so their existing chemistry would make a track together even better. 

Track 10: Second Life (SVT)

Members: China Line (Kun, WinWin, Lucas, Hendery, Xiaojun, Renjun, YangYang, Chenle)

They have the range.

Track 11: New Rules (TXT)

Members: 00 Line (Haechan, Renjun, YangYang, Jaemin, Jeno)

A song with a fun feel to it like this is the only way to go for the 00 line. They are almost an even split of rappers and vocalists, so a song like this would allow each member to shine. I know any song with these 5 together would make me smile while listening to it. 

OUTRO: Blue Side (J-HOPE)*

Members: Yuta

Imagine if SM gave Yuta his own solo track,, just kidding,,, unless? But for real, Yuta has managed to prove how talented an artist he is despite SM only giving him 2 lines and 8 seconds of screen time each comeback, so imagine how amazing a whole song by him would be.

*Song will be in Japanese.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I tried to split the members evenly between tracks, which I know is unrealistic but is what we want to see (SM please let Mark, Taeyong, and Haechan rest). I’m not sure if we’ll ever get another full group album, I’ve heard some people saying it will be NCT 2021 for 21 members, like the 18 members for NCT 2018. Regardless, making this made me feel happy thinking about the possible interactions and the songs that could come from it. 

If you’ve made it this far thank you for sticking with my jumbled thought process. Please message me if you have any thoughts about anything in this post or just about NCT ot21 in general :) 

[fromthewifecage]

Imagine Kombants sees Reader with bunches of cats

I LOVE kitties, all kitties, ALL of them. So do Erron Black, Johnny Cage, Nightwolf, Bi-Han and Kano. As usual Kano is last so if you don’t like him then you don’t have to read that one.(Yeah I kinda got over excited writing this and went a bit crazy. The Johnny Cage one is inspired by a scene in Red Dragon/Hannibal.)Hope this is ok, if not then feel free to throw a shoe at me.

Erron Black: (So this I actually took from a stupid Cowboy/Victorian Lady (called Clementine) thing I’ve been writing. It’ll never be finished because it needs to be probably 50k words or more, but this bit I liked writing. Erron’s trying to be a better man, got caught up trying to save a kids life, but the kid died, and Erron’s pretty cut up about it. Yes it’s not the reader with a bunch of cats, it’s about Erron with a cat, but the other Kombatant’s scenarios definitely the reader with kitties!! Please don’t hate me.)

Arms slid around his waist, her body pressed hard to his back and enveloped him in a much needed embrace. His head drooped forward, shoulders slumping, his head in his hands. He’d tried his best, hadn’t he? But it wasn’t good enough, never was. He was a God-damned failure.To his eternal shame his eyes prickled with the threat of tears. He hadn’t cried since Ma had screamed at him for crying over the body of a barn cat. The large ginger cat had been Erron’s only friend since he’d had first found the cat. He’d first seen it sat upon a dark brown saddle in the barn, the saddle’s leather gleaming from the earlier oiling. The cat paused between washing its ears to stare, and when Erron held out a hand it took a moment to sniff at his fingertips before going back to its wash.

Erron had named the cat Peter and they’d quickly become firm friends. Peter would chase after mice and spiders, batting at them with a large ginger paw until he got tired of the chase and quickly killed them. Erron would bring Peter scraps of meat and cheese filched from the larder as a reward. Erron would often find half a mouse in one of his boots, Peter obviously thinking Erron was too skinny and needed fattening up, and Peter was right, Ma was far too stingy with her portions. If Erron had been judged to ‘deserve sleeping outside’, usually after answering his Ma back or being caught filching from the larder, then Erron would climb the long rickety ladder to reach the hay loft, and spend the night with Peter on his chest, purring happily.

They’d been friends for 3 long summers until Erron had gone into the barn at the end of a particularly hot and long day helping in the fields. Ma found Erron sobbing over Peter’s stiff and lifeless body, and dragged him back into the house by his ear, beating him harshly for caring about “that ginger shit more than you care about the rest o’ us.” It was true, so Erron didn’t put up a fight as he took his hits. He merely filed away the hate with all the other times she’d beat him, hurt him, scorned him and neglected him, so when years later, he stood by Ma’s bed as she took her final breaths with cancer riddled lungs, he shed no tears.

Erron sat there, fighting with the sadness of not being able to save the child, until the small bedchamber was dark enough that he could barely see his own hands. Clementine still held him, had made no protest or whispered fake platitudes that he’d get over it or he’ll feel better soon. She’d let him take the time he needed.

More after the cut! (these ones really are about the reader with kitties, promise!)

Johnny Cage: Johnny is more excited than you are for your birthday. His grin has been extra sparkly for the entire past month, and each hint about what he’s got for you has been more ridiculous than the last. You keep trying to tell him you don’t want a fuss, and to not spend more than £20 on a present, but it’s like telling a child they have to eat their broccoli if they want ice cream for afters. He’s not going to eat the broccoli, he’s sneaking into the freezer as soon as your back is turned.

He wakes you up extra early, despite your protests that it’s your birthday and you want to sleep. In the end he picks you up and carried you into the shower, washes your hair and refuses to leave the bathroom until you brush your teeth. He doesn’t stop singing ‘Happy Birthday’ either. Even when you threaten to leave him he doesn’t stop being annoyingly amazingly cute.

He blindfolds you in the car (the driver starts to get worried that you’ll ruin the seat leather but Johnny calms them down with promises there’ll be no sex in the car) and does his best to confuse you with increasingly remote landmark spotting. Quite how you’ve gone from home to the Louvre, past the Pyramids via the Lin Kuei Temple, you have no idea. Eventually he leads you from the car, your hand tightly in his grasp and a hand on your shoulder so you don’t stumble.

As you walk to your secret destination you hear all sorts of animal and bird sounds, chirruping, squeaking (including a couple of gasps from some humans along with “OMG it’s Johnny Caaaaaaaaaaage” whispered under their breaths), some growling, even trumpeting.“Surprise!” Johnny stage whispers as he unties your blindfold, leaving you blinking in the dim light.

Before you is a scene from one of your very best daydreams. A room full of lion cubs, each one rolling, biting, investigating, chewing or playing with it’s brothers and sisters. A hand clasps over your mouth when your heart bursts with joy, Johnny chuckling and letting you know that the kitties are so little that they’ll be scared by squeals of happiness. The zookeepers are more than happy to let you play with the cubs, showing you how to feed the furballs, how to hold them and cuddle them.

You spend the rest of your birthday in lion cub heaven. Johnny takes so many photos of you surrounded by the kitties that his photo groans, and of course you take a bunch of him with the cubs too, he’s just as excited by the balls of fluff and teeth as you are and he almost cries when it’s time to go home.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

Nightwolf: The man is an expert on nature in all its forms. He can live self sufficiently from a small plot of land, he built his own home and keeps not only real animals happy, but spirit animals too. An ideal day for him would be to tend to his crops and land during the day and spend the evening surrounded by his animal and human companions.You’ve spent significant time with Nightwolf, and he’s grown not only to love you, but trust you to share his life and loves. Hana took a while to warm up to you, but will now sit on your shoulder almost as happily as she will with Nightwolf (it took many batches of mini pancakes for her to get to this stage, and now she demands you make her some food whenever you cook).

Nightwolf is in the kitchen when he realises you’ve run out of salad ingredients. The evening air is warm and sweet, the frogs by the small creek are noisily calling for mates, and the idea of a short walk to the vegetable plot to stretch your legs before dinner sounds appealing. Hana follows you out the door, first taking to the sky and circling the house, then drops down to land upon your shoulder, tugging at strands of your hair in her own way of looking after you. As you gather some lettuce Hana squawks and flaps her wings, then flies over to a patch at the very end of the plot, squawking some more. You call out to her, maybe one of the frogs has got lost?

But it’s not a frog you find, it’s even cuter than that. It’s a tired stripy cat with large ears, surrounded by the smallest of kittens, each one latched to a teat. You gasp excitedly and whisper to Hana to go fetch Nightwolf. Hana gives one final indignant squawk, then flies off, returning on the shoulder of the beautiful man you love.

“Welcome back Koko, it is an honour to meet your children.”

Nightwolf greets the cat as a friend, and your heart melts a little more for this wonderful man. He asks you to stay with the kitty family whilst he returns to the house to fetch some things. Koko watches you with sleepy eyes, trusting that since Nightwolf trusts you, you aren’t a threat. You don’t reach for the kittens, they are far too tiny to play with, but you make a wish upon the stars that you’ll get to play with them when they’re a little older.

Nightwolf returns carrying one of the chicken coops he’d been mending and with blankets in a backpack. He sets up a little home for the cats in the dark corner of the vegetable plot. You’ll be able to visit the kittens whenever you like (with Koko’s permission of course).

Yay for kittens!

Bi-Han: The man might be a deadly (the Lin Kuei are NOT ninjas) ninja assassin, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a heart. As a trained spy he has to take notice of everything, no matter how innocuous it seems, so he knows more about you than you know about yourself. So he knows that you’re getting a little lonely in his absences, and recently, he’s been absent a lot more due to an influx of contracts.

You’ve tried so hard not to show your loneliness, thinking it would upset Bi-Han and make him consider breaking off your relationship to try to save you from more pain, and that has crossed his mind. Then he looked upon his life and decided that he didn’t need anything but you, and that no matter how often you were apart, it was the together that mattered.

It was early morning, the blood of his latest target swirling down the sink as he scrubbed himself clean, when his phone blinked with a new message from you. His smile curling the corner of his mouth when he sees that you’ve sent yet another cat picture, this one of 2 kittens wearing ninja outfits with the caption “You and Kuai!” Bi-Han is about to flick back up through the conversation to where you’ve sent some pictures of yourself rather than kittens, when his smile widens as an idea pings into his head.

You’re woken by a cold gentle kiss to your forehead, a brush of icy fingers across your cheek when you stir then wake with a happy yawn.

“You’re home!”

You sprint to the bathroom to first wee then brush your teeth, sprinting back to jump into Bi-Han’s fierce embrace. When he doesn’t immediately tug off your pyjamas you’re puzzled, the man is normally insatiable. He laughs at your pout and tugs you into the living room where he nods towards a box resting on the table.

“Happy Tuesday!”

His grin is huge when you squeak upon looking inside the box to find two kittens curled around each other. It widens even further watching you cry with happiness when the kittens wake to first sniff you, then immediately demand attention. He pulls out his phone and takes some pictures, seeing you this excited has to be recorded.

Yay for kittens!

Kano: The big burly scary Australian beefcake actually has a soft spot. You.

You’ve heard the stories, the ones about him scaring someone so much they wet themselves and when Kano laughed at their fear they burst into tears. About the time he had someone skinned alive and thrown onto the street. Kano could be a Bond villain, he already has the one-eye thing down, he had the comfiest squidgiest chair for his desk (it swivelled so Kano could spin around when he got bored), all he needed was a cat for him to stroke when watching a Special Forces member wet themselves.

You’d gone to the animal shelter to pick up a cat for him (he’d laughed at your idea then shrugged.

“I already got my kitten, but if you want a kitty, I ain’t gonna stop ya.”

Then he’d pulled you into his arms and kissed you until you forgot how to breathe.)

At first you were going to adopt the fluffy white cat with the huge blue eyes, she was gorgeous, but it was when you were walking to the corner of the room to discreetly take a phone call when you saw the 2 kitties that had been forgotten by everybody. They sat by their small window, peering out into the world they’d never get to experience again. One of the kitties had lost a leg, the veterinary nurse later telling you she’d been attacked by an enormous dog and had carried on fighting even when she’d lost the leg. The other had only 1 eye, again, having lost it in a fight. Your heart went out to these sweet brave kitties, and you knew you could give them the best home.

“What you got there, love?”

Kano stood in the doorway, bare chested as usual, huge 'sexy-as-hell' grin as usual.

“I couldn’t leave them, no-one wanted them and they’re all little.”

Kano looked from you down to the kitties exploring every nook and cranny of the bedroom, tails twitching secret messages to each other as they couldn’t believe that they were finally out of the shelter. He chuckled then strolled over to you to wrap you up in a huge embrace.

“Think that one wants a cyber eye?”

[pertinax--loculos]

Character Study: Jay (1)

[Quite note for CW -- vague reference to drug use.]

1. Intro My name is Jay Johns, though my parents would probably deny it. Oh no, they’d say, that’s not our boy. Must be another Johns, y’know I hear there’s another family with that name out north.

Don’t get me wrong, they love me to death. That’s their mistake.

People would probably look at my life and go, oh my gosh, where did they go wrong? Or, what happened to him to make him like this? The trouble is, nothing happened. This isn’t a product of trauma or a horrible home life or whatever else. No funny uncles. No ridiculously strict parents making me rebel. No reason.

Just… boredom, I guess.

Technically speaking I suppose it can be traced to an injury I sustained when I was fourteen, but don’t read anything into that. Truth be told I was being a moron, thinking I could balance on a ledge I shouldn’t have been trying to balance on and, surprise surprise, I fell. Nothing insidious about it.

Same can’t be said for the panadeine forte I was prescribed for the broken collarbone, though.

Stuff’s fairly well regulated if you don’t need it, and doctors weren’t particularly keen to prescribe it to a teenager more than once. So I outsourced. Knew a guy who knew a guy, you know how it is. Except turns out the guy on the end was kinda tangled up in some heavier stuff. And at fifteen I didn’t exactly have disposable income.

So I had to do a few odd jobs to get the next fix. But, like, who the fuck cares. No big deal. Flow like mine, didn’t really matter what they asked me to do; it was always get in, do the job, get out.

Y’know talk about, like, a self-fulfilling prophecy? Where you do a thing in order to get the result but the result makes you do the thing again, and so ad infinitum?

Yeah. Given my… aptitude for certain jobs, I suddenly started getting only those. And those morphed into Jobs, capital J, which I didn’t regret so much as want to erase from my memory which was facilitated by, you guessed it, more opioids. And so on and so forth.

Dunno why I decided to get clean – well, that’s a lie, the decision was taken out of my hands, essentially – but I was way too entrenched by then to get out. Knew too much about the operations, the players, the secrets.

Plus, y’know, it was easier. And the pay was almost worth the nightmares.

Almost.

So, yeah. Take the Jay Johns of today and describe him to my parents, and they’d marvel at the coincidence of some amoral gangster having the same name as their beloved golden child. The one who’s off working as an engineer a few hundred clicks south – no, haven’t heard from him lately, but you know how it is, they get to be adults and forget about their dear old parents. And, I mean, I could disabuse them of that notion, sure.

But I don’t wanna break their hearts. They deserve better than that.

They deserve better than me.

2. Family Jay had a very specific memory he wanted to preserve of the last time he’d seen his parents. They’d been so very proud, and through the guilt that threatened to strangle him they’d had an exceptionally pleasant day, culminating with a barbeque in the backyard, warm summer evening heavy with the buzz of dragonflies reminiscent of his very favourite recollections from childhood. If he closed his eyes he could still see his mother’s beaming face as he told her about the job offer; could still see his father’s gruff pride, hidden behind layers of learned reserve but shining through his eyes regardless. He could still taste the tang of lemon in his mother’s specialty cheesecake on his tongue.

Right now all he could taste was blood, and he wondered if that was why it had taken him so long to place the figures wandering past the end of the alley.

Markus had frozen as soon as they’d come into view, his fingers still wrapped around Jay’s wrist, and it took Jay a half-second too long to clap his free hand over his mouth. The sound that escaped was truncated but hellishly loud.

The figures hesitated; the shorter, wider one swivelled towards the alley.

“Did you hear that?”

Her voice was more curious than apprehensive, and Jay was nearly certain being stabbed in the chest would be less painful than hearing that warm, comforting tone juxtaposed with the tiny, pleading whimpers rising in Markus’s throat. The hold around Jay’s wrist tightened and Markus squirmed a little.

Without looking away from the mouth of the alley Jay uncovered Markus’s mouth and instead buried his fingers in his hair, twisting savagely. It elicited another whimper, but at least he stopped moving.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Jay heard his father say, even as the two of them took a couple of steps forward, into the darkness and squalor. “What was it?”

Jay’s jaw was aching – he hadn’t even realised he’d clenched his teeth – and his grip on Markus was white-knuckled, less due to concern the dumb fuck was going to move and more to keep his hands from shaking. His breath was roaring in his ears and there was an uncomfortable scrabbling inside his chest, some sharp-clawed animal desperate to get out.

“It sounded like someone in trouble,” his mother said, alert and worried and good god for once in your life don’t be a fucking good Samaritan.

The only advantage Jay had was the light; he’d chosen to ambush Markus in this alley for a reason, it being one of the few he knew that completely lacked any illumination. It was stupid enough for Markus, a young man experienced with the unsavoury elements of the city, to try to cut through. Surely an older couple wouldn’t risk it. Plus, motionless as he was, Jay was nearly certain that his parents couldn’t make out whether or not there was actually someone down there.

Anxiety was an iron band around his chest. He couldn’t breathe.

His mother stopped.

“It was probably just a cat,” his father said. “I read somewhere that they’ve actually evolved to mimic the cries of human babies. Which, as far as I’m concerned, is just another strike against them.”

His mother chuckled, though she continued to peer into the gloom. “I guess it could’ve been. It just sounded so…”

There was a pause that stretched interminable. Jay twitched the hand knotted in Markus’s hair, a silent warning not to try anything stupid.

“… tormented,” his mother finished finally. Then she shrugged and turned, making her way back to the street. “I must have been imagining things.”

Their voices faded as they walked away, and Jay sucked in a deep breath. It felt like he was choking on it.

“Johns,” Markus gasped, twitching in his grip. “Please. I’m not—I get it, okay? I understand. You don’t have to—”

Jay hauled him up and around, slamming him against the wall of the alley. Markus’s cry of pain was so breathless it was nearly inaudible.

“Unfortunately, Markus,” Jay said, his voice light and even and betraying none of the shame surging so strong inside of him he felt like he was drowning, “My colleagues see it differently.”

“Johns—”

“I like that word. Tormented.” Jay twisted his left hand. He felt the familiar tingle of the Orn between his fingers, and then the just-as-familiar weight of his knife in his palm; Markus’s eyes widened when it shimmered into being in the physical world, a low keen breaking out of his throat. Some tiny part of Jay cringed at the noise, at the fear in his eyes, but he refused to acknowledge it. Instead he just cocked his head a little, letting the detached smirk settle on his lips. “Let’s see just how tormented you can sound.”

3. Friends “It’s not like you have to screw him,” Cassidy said matter-of-factly, crunching another couple of almonds between her teeth. “I’m just asking if you like the guy.”

Jay raised an eyebrow, very purposefully continuing to stare down at the book spread out over his lap. “Keyword being guy, Cass. Who says I even swing that way?”

They were spread out on his bed, ostensibly doing homework, although Cassidy had abandoned that pretence nearly half an hour ago in favour of interrogating Jay on his nonexistent love life. The fact Jay still had his books open was more to provide him with an excuse not to look at her than any real attempt at finishing his math assignment.

Cassidy waved a hand expansively, blowing her fringe out of her eyes. “Jay. There is no need to pretend in here. I know you.”

“Wait,” Jay said, glancing up briefly enough that he hoped she wouldn’t notice the blood he could feel warming his cheeks, “Are you assuming I’m gay because I’m not into you?”

“Well, I mean, that would be a fair assumption, because I’m hot as hell,” Cassidy said, her grin wide enough that Jay could hear it in her voice. “But one, you have never actually said you’re not into me, and two, I never said you were gay. I was simply asking if you liked a guy. Singular.”

“For the record,” Jay said, turning a page in his textbook. He hadn’t actually absorbed anything on the preceding page, but hell if he was gonna give up the ruse now. “I am not into you.”

Cassidy sighed theatrically. “Oh gee, well there go all my hopes and dreams. Whatever will I do now, how will I overcome this devastation.”

It was getting difficult to keep his face straight, but Jay was fairly sure he managed it. “I’m sure you’ll find the strength to carry on.”

“Mayhaps!” Cassidy clapped a hand to her chest and fell backwards on the bed with a wail. “Or perhaps this broken heart will be the end of me!”

“Could you at least die quietly?”

Jay jumped when her hand landed in the centre of the page he was looking at.

“Never,” Cassidy said. “Or at least not until you answer the question.”

“You mean how on earth you will carry on knowing that I’ll never be your boyfriend?” Jay glanced up to throw her a smirk, and Cassidy jabbed a finger at him.

“No, whether or not you like Johnny Davis. Come on, Jay. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

Jay couldn’t stop himself; this time he jerked his head up to stare at her, feeling horror unfurl across his face. Any hope of hiding his blush was gone, his cheeks flaming as he processed what she was saying. “I’m not—”

Cassidy’s teasing veneer vanished and she scooted close enough to rest a hand on his arm. Jay dropped his eyes. “Relax, darl,” she said softly. “It’s not obvious at all. Like I said, it’s because I know you.” She ducked her head, and Jay let her catch his gaze again. Her face was warm, made even more comforting by the tiny crinkles extending outwards from the corners of her eyes as she smiled; not that Jay would ever tell her that. She’d probably end up in a back alley getting illegal botox if he so much as suggested she had anything remotely resembling wrinkles.

“I’m not trying to be a bitch,” she added.

“No, that just comes to you naturally,” Jay said without thinking.

For a beat Cassidy just stared at him, before she roared with laughter, swatting at his arm. Jay grinned as well, raking his fingers through his hair as he waited for her to calm down.

“Nice one,” Cassidy said eventually, still snickering. “I’ve gotta remember that. Man,” – she swiped her hand across her face – “What was I saying?”

The smile wouldn’t shift from Jay’s face, and he met her eyes as he said, “The answer’s yes. As in yeah, I like Johnny Davis.”

The admission was more than worth the grin that practically split her face in two.

4. Education/Mentors Friday was the Big Day.

Mrs. Phillips had told them all about it, had explained how important it was and how they weren’t allowed to muck about in the waiting area or they would be sent to the principal’s office. Jay thought it was all a bit of a hullabaloo. After all, the Orn was just a fact of life. Why did it need to be measured?

Mum and Dad had told him that he should be very careful when he was taking the Test. But that didn’t make sense either. They’d talked about all sorts of stuff and Jay had stopped listening pretty quickly. After all, Mrs. Phillips had told them that there was no way they could fail the Test. It was just to get an idea of where they were at.

Like with their reading. That was a Test, too. Normally it was done when the rest of the class was working on their handwriting, so they were real quiet. You waited until your name was called, and then you went up to the teacher’s desk – all by yourself, so that the other students couldn’t hear you in case you made a mistake – and you read through the list. It was a very long list, and it started with super basic words like ‘at’ and ‘the’ and then by the time Jay started stumbling he was up to words like ‘pneumonia’ and ‘rendezvous’.

Mrs. Phillips had been very impressed with how good he was at his reading. So why shouldn’t he try to impress these teachers too? Just because he didn’t know them didn’t mean he should pretend.

And it wasn’t like Dwayne’s parents had told him the same thing. Jay knew, because they’d been discussing it for the last forever while they waited for their names to be called.

That was kinda why they were friends, because Cass was in Mr. Allen’s class this year and Dwayne’s last name was Jacobson so he and Jay always got to sit together. And if they were real careful and talked real quiet Mrs. Phillips didn’t seem to notice.

“But, see, like, there’s different, like, levels,” Dwayne said, leaning sideways as he kept one eye on the door their classmates kept disappearing through. “Y’know how I can do different things to most everyone else?”

Jay nodded, as wisely as he could. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“So that’s what this is for. Mum calls it a attitude test, so that they can get an idea of what sorta connection to the Orn you have and then they can teach you the right way to handle it.”

They paused as Gary came back out of the door, and Mrs. Phillips whispered to the man who came with him. Then she nodded and ushered Gary back over to the other side of the room as the man glanced down at a paper and called, “Carrie Harvey?”

Jay watched Carrie disappear through the door and then said, “So your parents didn’t say, like, some people get taken away after the attitude test?”

Dwayne frowned, deep furrows appearing in his forehead. “No. Why would they? They just wanna know what we can do.” He straightened a little, smiling instead of frowning now. “And they reckon that the testers’ll be real impressed with me.”

“Well, yeah,” Jay said, like he was saying well, duh. “You’ve gotta be the best at it out of all of us.”

Which was annoying, really, but Mum and Dad had been very very clear about Jay not showing off. It would get him into trouble, they said, and Mum and Dad were normally right. But this wasn’t showing off, was it? This was just showing the special teachers what he could do.

Carrie came back, Mrs. Phillips whispered to the man, and Carrie took her seat on the other side of the room.

“Dwayne Jacobson,” the man called.

Dwayne sent Jay a nervous sort of smile, and Jay gave him two thumbs up.

Without Dwayne there to talk to the time seemed to drag even more. Or maybe they were actually taking longer to test Dwayne. Jay didn’t want to look at the clock, because every time he did the second hand seemed to freeze into place.

When the door opened this time, the man and a woman stepped out with Dwayne.

Mrs. Phillips hurried up to them, quicker than she had been walking. Jay watched carefully as they talked, trying to look around Mrs. Phillips to see Dwayne’s face, to get an idea of whether he thought he’d done well or not. But try as he might, he couldn’t get a good look.

After a few more seconds of whispering, Mrs. Phillips nodded and stepped back. But instead of ushering Dwayne to the other side of the room, she just nodded at the strange woman, and the strange woman took Dwayne’s hand and led him through the side door.

Jay stared, waiting, waiting for them to come back. Maybe Dwayne had just really needed to go pee. But Mrs. Phillips had walked back to her chair and sat down. She didn’t seem to be waiting for Dwayne to come back.

Jay felt like his chest was about to burst. Heat raced up into his eyes and he tried not to sniffle as he swiped at it. He was not gonna cry. Not in front of everybody.

But he could suddenly hear Mum’s words, real clear.

You’ve gotta be careful, Jay. Promise me, alright? Promise me you’ll be careful.

“Jay Johns,” the man called.

Jay swiped at his eyes one more time, and then pushed himself to his feet. He held his chin up as he walked across the room.

He was gonna be careful. Even if it meant he didn’t show them everything.

He wasn’t gonna give them a reason to take him away.

[huahsu]

YEAR OF THE BUTTERFLY

previous years: A SONG THAT DEGRADES EACH TIME YOU PLAY IT :: 2018 A CHURCH AND JOHN LENNON’S “IMAGINE” :: 2017 SIKH DEVOTIONAL MUSIC :: 2016 SPOOKY BLACK :: 2015 this year: I’ve spent the past few months working on a book that I’ve always wanted to write but never figured I’d make the time for. At a really basic level, it’s about listening to music with friends. A couple weeks ago, I devoted a few days to reading a stack of books and articles about the emotional experience of music. They were written by philosophers, critics, cognitive scientists, historians. I took from them two overarching questions. First, what does it mean to assign a piece of music a feeling, like “happy” or “sad?” Is the song itself “sad,” or does it just model a kind of sadness proximate to how we feel? What elements of a song do this? The fraying of a voice? Minor keys? Tempo? Is it all a trick of memory? None of the answers really satisfied me, since music is such an intimate thing. A song makes us feel a way for reasons that are often either blindingly obvious or remote and mysterious. An expert can tell you that humans are wired to feel joy when a certain configuration of notes are struck in tandem, but maybe it just reminds you of looking at the front door.

The other question was whether music itself facilitates any unique emotional possibilities--a mode of feeling that we can’t get anywhere else. Music doesn’t mimic the real world, it doesn’t make arguments. One writer suggested that the thrill of music was its capacity to remind you, foremost, that music can thrill you. In essence, each time we hear something new and feel something, we are being reminded of all the times we’ve felt this way before. We’re living in the echo of a former enchantment. Maybe you’ll hear it again, process it, assign it a genre or context, and the mystique evaporates. But music is one of those things that doesn’t happen on our time. We don’t stand in front of it and train our gaze on this quadrant or that. We don’t flip back to make sure we didn’t miss something. You can’t slow it down as it is happening, you merely let it happen. 

In the spring, the Museum of Chinese in America in Manhattan showed “The Moon Represents My Heart,” an exhibition I worked on with MOCA’s curators, Herb and Andrew. The basic idea was to look at all the ways music had enriched immigrant life, from early opera troupes touring America’s Chinatowns to karaoke bars, church choirs, and after-school violin lessons, fifties doo-wop trios to garage punks and self-taught dance music producers. There’s no legible tradition of Chinese American music so we just wanted to present it as a textured and everyday thing--the experience of the fan could be as legitimate as that of a Mando-pop superstar. While working on the show, people would often ask me for a playlist, but I didn’t really have any to share. It wasn’t really about the music itself, which could sound derivative or amateur to some. It was about the fact that they sought to express themselves through music, in contexts that made them outliers and oddballs. I came to love all the music in our show because of that second-hand thrill--that sense that these moments had been deeply meaningful to everyone in the room. 

You can hear it in the voice of Stephen Cheng, who ended up being the show’s most memorable star. He put out a rocksteady gem in the sixties and then spent the next decade in New York trying to get the Dragon Seeds, his Chinese “folk-rock” band, off the ground. Cheng died years ago, but Andrew found his children, who brought some reels of unreleased music to the museum. I remember staring at them, wondering what was on them. It was a kind of anticipation and wonder that I often miss, when the operative feeling I associate with music-listening on the internet is the frenzy of opening and closing windows, clicking links, proving my humanity to a captcha.

Stephen’s singing wasn’t great, but it was perfect. His version of “Yesterday,” all warbly and over-the-top, has now supplanted the original for me. Somehow, we played some of Stephen’s songs on the radio, including one about butterflies and love. Somehow, one of the people listening was a butterfly expert, and he was about to marry another butterfly expert. Who knew such a song was possible, the groom-to-be told me. Stephen was too obscure to be properly forgotten. Or maybe his song was just dormant all these years. It awaited just the right listener, and now, over forty years later, he would get his propers, sandwiched somewhere between the vows and Kool and the Gang, a couple minutes of people scratching their heads, searching for the right smile, saying Can you believe this? to one another.

### TEENAGE DREAM

Warren Defever/His Name is Alive, All the Mirrors in the House

EXCELLENT USE OF “P.S.K.” Kindness feat. Robyn, “Warning” EXCELLENT USE OF A TELEPHONE Mavi, “Guernica” TECHNICALLY 2018, BUT TAIWAN’S ANSWER TO COIL, JOY DIVISION, ETC SEN, “The Cicada” SAME (2018) BUT TAIWANESE DREAMBOAT VIBES Linion, “Can’t Find” ANOTHER, KINDA BILLY BRAGG-Y Wayne’s So Sad, “Wanderer’s Guide to Taipei” SUMMER IN TAIWAN, AND SO I BOUGHT A LOT OF CDs, INCLUDING THE LIMITED EDITION SIGNED 9M88 DEBUT 9m88, “Love Rain” THEY ARE VERY INTO THE “FUTURE SOUL” THING Andrea, “You Better Kiss Me” THIS GUY HAS THE SAME NAME AS MY COUSIN Yo Lee demos LOTS OF BACKPACKS Hsien, Lately AMAZED TO SEE LIM GIONG REISSUES THERE, THIS IS THE DANCE ALBUM HE RECORDED IN 1994 IN THE UK BEFORE BRINGING RAVE CULTURE BACK TO TAIWAN Lim Giong, Entertainment World (IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH LIM GIONG, THIS IS THE GREATEST SONG EVER Lim Giong, “A Pure Person) AND HERE’S 9m88 COVERING “PLASTIC LOVE” 9m88, “Plastic Love” AIR SUPPLYERS Oso Leone, Gallery Love Sunset Rollercoaster, Vanilla Villa I ENJOYED THIS WHEN IT CAME OUT BUT HONESTLY FORGOT IT CAME OUT THIS YEAR, OR THAT I ENJOYED, BUT FOR THE LONGEST TIME MY “2019″ EMAIL DRAFT JUST READ “CHIEF KEEF HNIA KAIL MALONE (sic)” Chief Keef and Zaytoven, GloToven

ANOTHER DEVASTATING DUO Pink Siifu and Akai Solo, Black Sand

MYSTIC CHORDS OF MEMORY Kali Malone, The Sacrificial Code Clarice Jensen, Drone Studies I AM A SLOW WALKER, BUT I NEVER WALK BACKWARDS Michael Vincent Waller, Moments ana roxane - ~~~ A THOUSAND POINTS OF LIGHT Caleb Giles, Under the Shade Medhane, Own Pace WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR Angel Bat Dawid, The Oracle Art Ensemble of Chicago, We are on the Edge READ JOSEPH JARMAN Joseph Jarman, Black Case I and II RESPECT YOURSELF Helado Negro, This is How You Smile Deb Never, “Swimming” LET’S DO IT AGAIN Tommy Holohan & Casper Hastings- RVE001 Eris Drew, Raving Disco Breaks LET’S DO IT AGAIN AGAIN, BUT SMEARED Burial, Tunes 2011-2019 OR PERHAPS YOU WERE THERE Callisto, Guidance is Eternal, Part I PERHAPS YOU WERE THERE FOR MICROHOUSE AND PEAK MEGO AND BLOGS Barker, Debiasing AT A WAREHOUSE PARTY, ABLE TO HEAR TOO MANY FLOORS, ROOMS, SOUNDS AT ONCE, IN A GOOD WAY Dies Smely, “Neptune Rises” AT A WAREHOUSE PARTY, BUT THINKING ABOUT PLUNDER, THE TRAIL OF TEARS, THE SANCTITY OF EARTH Kelman Duran, 13 Month A KIND OF BLUE Steve Hiett, Down on the Road by the Beach POSSIBLY MY MOST PLAYED ALBUM, 2019 Galcher Lustwerk, Information R.I.P. PRINCE, FOREVER AND ALWAYS Serpente, Parada Moodymann, Sinner Nelson Bandela, Purprain THE OPPOSITE OF “I AM A GOD” Nelson Bandela - “i'm mortal” YOU GOT ME Shane Eagle feat. Santi and Bas, “Vanya” HARD TO BELIEVE JAZMINE SULLIVAN REMAINS SO OVERLOOKED Kindness feat Jazmine Sullivan, “Hard to Believe” WATCH FOR THE HOOK Quando Rondo, “Gun Powder”

ANTE UP Polo G feat Lil Tjay, “Pop Out” “PANTS GON BE SAGGIN TIL I’M FORTY” Freddie Gibbs and Madlib, “Thuggin”

“WHY THEY LET THE TERMINATOR WIN THE ELECTION?” Sault, “Why Why Why Why Why”

HOLLOW BONES Showbiz and Milano, “Guillotine” LADI LUV, “GOOD TO THE LAST DUB” City Girls, “Act Up” MONEY BOSS PLAYERS Benny the Butcher feat 38 Spesh and Jadakiss, “Sunday School” Roc Marciano, “Richard Gear” WARP 30 (1989-2019) Droop-E, “The Droop-E Way” INTERSTELLAR SPACE, PROBABLY KILLER LIVE Blacks’ Myths, Blacks Myths II ALICE NEVER WENT ANYWHERE Sam Wilkes, “Sivaya” Alice Coltrane, Live at the Berkeley Community Theater 1972 RIYL: LYRICHORD, EFFECTS PEDALS Seungmin Cha, Nuunmuun RIYL: EFFICIENCY, INTERLUDES Solange, “Binz” “WHO HERE IS STILL LISTENING TO JOHNNY MAY CASH’S “DRUGS” IN 2019?” Playboi Carti, “Molly” “MOLLY” CZ Wang and Neo Image, “Just Off Wave”

YOU’VE SUBSCRIBED TO “UK STREETSOUL YOUTUBE PLAYLIST” Apiento feat Harriet Brown, “Down That Road” WHERE WERE U IN 2092? Jai Paul, “He”

LIL B, INNIT Voldy Moyo, Paper World SCREAMADELICA Vampire Weekend, “Harmony Hall” Humeysha, Nusrat on the Beach FOLKTRONICA Aldous Harding, “The Barrel” TOO PURE Springfields, Singles 1986-1991 MY AQUARIUM Rod Modell, Captagon ANOTHER WORLD IS POSSIBLE Vagabon, Vagabon 4-TRACK TWEE BEDROOM COVERS OF BLINK-182′S DUDE RANCH Colleen Green, Blink-182′s “Dude Ranch” as Played by Colleen Green

KINDA AS THOUGH A PART OF MY 2016-19 LP PURCHASES FORMED THEIR OWN BANDS Anunaku, Whities 024 75 Dollar Bill, I Was Real Joshua Abrams and Natural Information Society, Mandatory Reality

JUST 30 OR SO GECS Cool Fang, Sparring I’M A DEADHEAD BUT FOR STANDING ON THE CORNER SOTC Art Ensemble, SOTC Double Bass Ensemble * Merciful Allah Black Hole Theater * 4/24/19 SOTC Art Ensemble, Variation 9 * Merciful Allah Black Hole Theater * 4/27/19

SONG OF THE SPRING, SUMMER, WINTER, YEAR, STILL UNDEFEATED

[rocket-----queen]

For Your Eyes Only

(smut)

She carefully gets into the mercilessly swinging boat, taking advantage of the driver who is offering her some help, giving her his arm for support. She tries to get a least a little bit comfortable in the rather hard seat, placing her luggage aside, waiting for the men to turn on the engine and soon the roaring sound vibrates in the air.

Besides she wants to forget the situation that happened at the airport, and the annoying guy who actually caused it, at least in her opinion. She ran into him, all by accident, spilling the coffee she was holding all over herself. He, despite being perfectly clean, called her a heedless lass and told her that he's gonna be late because of her, but before she was able to come up with anything sensible to say, he was gone.

She watches the changing surroundings as they swim further down the canal, the Italian styled houses, people walking down the pavement, sweet couple on a bridge posing for another photo. There's no doubt her holiday will be perfect.

Soon the boat stops by the hotel, the driver ties it to one of the metal rings, and helps her to get out of it, handing her the suitcase. She pays him and leaves with a quick "goodbye" thrown over her shoulder.

She takes a few more steps before she finds herself standing in the middle of the luxury hall, staring at the expensive furniture and decorations, slowly approaching the reception. Suddenly she sees him, the guy from the airport, leaning by the countertop, talking with the pretty receptionist, maybe even flirting, but this is probably just her imagination. She sighs helplessly as she stands beside him, hoping he won't notice her, but luckily he's too busy with the petite brunette.

"Good afternoon miss," suddenly a deep male voice brings her back to the reality, and she raises her sight greeted by another employee ready to take care of her. "How can I help you?"

"I booked a room here, one of the apartments to be exact, for the name Elisabeth Wright," she states, and he nods, checking the reservation immediately, frowning as he looks at the computer screen.

"Miss I'm terribly sorry, but I believe there's a mistake in your reservation," he says, looking at her with an apologetic expression.

"What do you mean?" She asks, already becoming slightly irritated. She's been waiting for this vacation since she graduated just a week ago, and now he says that there's a mistake? That must be some kind of a joke, right?

"Your reservation messed up with-" before he's able to finish the sentence, his co-worker, the petite brunette, cuts him off.

"With mister Depp's one."

"What?" Suddenly the dark-haired guy beside her, that 'mister Depp' she believes, speaks, truly puzzled and mildly annoyed because of the whole situation. He frowns when they lock their eyes, realizing that he's facing that damn lass from the airport. "It's you."

"It's me indeed," she admits bitterly, already feeling the tension between them slowly building, but before he can answer, she turns her attention to the receptionist again.

"Sir, what does it actually mean, because I don't quite get it? There's no spare room for me?"

"No, it's just we have only one room for both of you," he says, carefully picking his words, trying not to irritate those two people on front of him. "Before you ask, there's no chance that we would be able to find anything for you today, and we're terribly sorry. Of course, we'll do anything we can to help you, but tomorrow. I can only recommend one of you to search for another room for tonight."

"Thank you very much, but I'm not doing this," she snarls. "What kind of hotel is this? What kind of hotel messes the reservations like this? I booked this room and I'm not leaving until I get the keys."

"Miss, you're putting me in an uncomfortable situation," the receptionist chuckles nervously.

"Excuse me? I'm putting you in an uncomfortable situation? What's that even supposed to mean? I payed for the room and now I wanna-"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Johnny interrupts her, clearly getting tired of the countless accusations towards the poor staff. "Stop acting like a child, it's not their fault."

"Don't you fucking dare to talk to me like this," she mocks, a little louder than she intended, attracting the attention of a few elderly people standing behind her.

"All I wanted to say, before I got so rudely interrupted," he flashes her a significant glance. "Is that we can take the room together for that night since there is a bed and a spare couch, am I right?" He waits for the receptionist to nod, before he resumes. "Of course if that lovely lady wouldn't mind."

She huffs in annoyance, but soon realizes that there is no other way to solve their dilemma, so she agrees. "That lovely lady wouldn't mind."

* * *

He fumbles with the key for a split second, the action that is followed by the quiet click of the mechanism inside the lock, causing the door to open, revealing the luxury room to her praying eyes. They slowly drift from one place to another, taking in the vivid image in front of her - the coffee table probably made from some rich wood, satin cushions lied on the sofa, and a few other pieces of furniture, but the most important - huge glass door leading to the terrace that gives a visitor clear view of Venice; all of it truly breathtaking.

"Wow," she only manages to gasp, overwhelmed by the size and style of the room. She can only presume that the bedroom looks even better, even cosier, which she is about to find out soon, exactly when she steps inside, pushing the door open, catching the image in her eyes. "I'm taking the bedroom."

"Yeah sure, whatever," he just answers, following her steps, carrying his suitcase in one hand. "Oh no, I'm taking the bedroom," he adds as soon as he steps inside; the cozy bed seems to call him to lay down which is a pretty odd notion to be honest.

"Pretty please?" She begs, smiling sweetly at him, making him smile back involuntary. He can't help but notice how alluring she looks when she does so, and he lets his eyes wander further down, her blonde wavy hair cascading over her round breasts. Before she even gets a chance to realize that he's staring, he snaps himself out of the trance, looking back into her eyes. They have that particular shade of blue that reminds him of the glorious days of his teenage years when he used to visit one of his first girlfriends in her house by the sea. He still remembers how beautiful that summer was, how much he enjoyed sitting on the pier with his feet dangling over the edge, splashing the water from time to time, its color still vivid in his memories.

"If you ask so nicely," he agrees, knowing that he's not able to resist her, even though they met just a couple of hours ago. He slowly approaches the door, figuring out that maybe she needs a little bit of privacy, as soon as he hears her "thanks", but her voice stops him.

"I think it would be a lot of easier, if I knew your name," she says, blushing slightly; she really hopes he won't notice.

"Johnny," he simply states, and to be honest she thinks that the name fits him, really fits him which she finds oddly comforting; she doesn't know why exactly, but from the very beginning she's hoped he wouldn't be another 'Bob' or 'Tim'.

"Can I call you Lizzie?" He adds after a brief moment, and she nods; her name seems to roll off his tongue perfectly.

* * *

Why she has to fall for every single handsome guy she meets? Honestly she finds it utterly frustrating and less or more secretly hates it, and she can't help but let her mind wander to him, to how good he actually looks leaning on the railing, smoking a cigarette. She even considered joining him, despite not being a smoker, but the overwhelming wave of shyness stopped her, and now she ends up just watching him from her current position on the sofa.

She feels her belly tingling with excitement - the butterflies fluttering in her stomach as some people might call it - and the worst thing is that she equally likes it and hates it, but what she hates more is that she's too shy to approach him and ask him for a dinner or something, choosing the perv-staring option; how delightful.

"Care to join me?" He suddenly speaks, startling her, but he presumes what's on her mind now since he's noticed that she's been watching him, and that kinda goes with his thoughts, so he decides to give it a try and see where it will lead them.

"Sure," she says, relieved that she sounds normally, not like a nervous lass. She walks over to him, goosebumps rising over her bare legs when the cool evening air embraces her, and she catches herself thinking that he could replace it - what a pathetic thought, Lizzie.

They stand for a few minutes, both of them quiet, staring at the night city in front of them, sharing a few accidental glares from time to time, the ones that cause her to look away.

Suddenly he breaks the peaceful silence, his voice somehow softly fading into the night. "By the way I'm sorry for the situation at the airport. I didn't want to be rude or anything, I was just-"

"It's okay, I don't even remember what you are talking about," she flashes him a significant smile.

He offers her his cigarette, and she takes it, hoping that she won't choke on the smoke since it would be, well... embarrassing at least. She slips it between her lips, trying to get rid of the thought that it's as if they were kissing, at least according to her highschool friends, the ones that she would rather forget about, but still... she feels as if she was in highschool herself, standing with her crush, getting excited about some stupid shit such as the whole 'cigarette thing'.

"You know, I was kinda wondering if you would like to go out with me tomorrow," he offers casually, making her actually choke on the smoke.

"What?" She asks, slightly taken aback by the proposition, as soon as she regains her breath. "I mean... sure, why not?" She adds, trying to sound nonchalantly, but both of them know how she really feels about it - beyond excited.

In all honesty he kinda wants to kiss her now, but he's not quite sure whether this is a good moment or not, probably not, but he can't help but wonder how would she feel, how would she kiss him, would she throw her arms around his neck or just lay them on his chest, supporting her weight, or would she rather...

"Johnny?" Her sweet, melodic voice brings him back to reality, snapping him out of the trance, of his silly daydreaming, a childish habit that he's picked up from his teenage years, and still can't fully get rid of.

"Glad to hear that," he answers dream-likely, his voice somehow seems to come from far away for him which he finds pretty weird. He isn't looking directly at her, but he can feel her burning gaze traveling upon his skin, when suddenly she grabs his arms, making him turn fully towards her.

"What are you-" before he even gets a chance to finish the sentence, she stands on her tippy toes, pressing her willing lips to his. Her eagerness catches him out of the guard for a brief moment, but soon kisses back, dragging her closer to him by the hips. Her shaking hands find their place around his neck, her long nails scratching the nape lightly, making him shiver deliciously, all while he gently nips at her bottom lip, causing her release a quiet moan into his mouth and lightly rub against him for a little bit of the friction.

He groans sensually, pushing her up against the railing, gaining a pitchy squeak from her, and forces her to sit there and wrap her legs around the waist, his lips still devouring hers in a way that leaves her trembling in need, anticipating for more.

She kinda likes the thrill that if he loses the grip around her waist, she will fall down to the water a few floors below, but as the things gets heated, it comes as no surprise that she would rather get inside the cozy bedroom instead of staying here.

"Let's come inside," she whispers between the kisses, moaning when she feels his lips on the side of her neck, tongue tracing the rapid pulse. He hums something in response, and grabs her by the thighs, waiting for her to change the grip slightly, before he actually lifts her up from the previous sitting position, carrying her to the room.

He carefully lets her go on the hardwood floor beside the bed, their lips joining immediately as if caught in some lustful dance, wanting, willing to get the taste of each other again. They depart just for a moment that he needs to take off her simple white T-shirt previously tugged into the black high-waisted shorts, revealing the plain white bra covering her perky breasts from his praying eyes. He wastes no time in slipping a hand underneath the cup of her bra, the pads of his fingers brush lightly over her erect nipples, pinching and twisting them, gaining a few sweet whimpers from the girl, the ones that leave his dick throbbing for attention.

He feels the pleasant warmth radiating from her body, her skin is actually hot to touch which he finds even more exciting.

"We need these off," he murmurs into her ear, voice deeper than usually, tugging at the waistband of the shorts, leaving her skin tingling exactly where his fingers brushed it.

"Indeed we do," she agrees, pointing each of the word with a lazy kiss on the side of his neck; but that was before she realizes that the black panties she's wore doesn't quite match the bra - what a ridiculous insecurity. Lizzie relax, he won't even notice since he's too busy with other stuff, I guess...

He unbuttons the clothing, sliding them down her legs, brushing the junction purposely, smirking when she moans in response. She kicks them aside, her fingers tugging eagerly at his shirt, and he follows the lead, making a quick work of taking it off.

Her hands immediately slide up his toned chest, creating a burning trace on its way, carefully exploring every ridge and curve. In all honesty it's been quite a long time since she touched a man this way, so it's not much a surprise for her that even such a simple thing leaves her unbearably wet. She needs him now like no other person, she want him to touch her, to please her, and then repay him with the same - truly intoxicating feeling.

Before she knows it, he unclips her bra, sliding the straps down her arms, getting rid of the undergarment which joins the other clothes sprawled out on the floor. He pecks her lips for the last time, before he descents down, leaving a trace of sweet kisses and tiny bruises on the way. She gasps when he reaches the waistband of her panties, licking and sucking just above it, making her moan his name urgently.

Finally he obeys, taking it off slowly, teasingly, stroking her thighs in a soothing manner as he does so. Both of the remain in their positions, he kneeling in front of her, she standing completely naked, shaking with desire. He stares at her, hungrily devouring each tiny part of her bare skin with his eyes, making Lizzie want to slip a few fingers between her legs to ease the burning ache; he is such a tease.

Suddenly she pulls him by the hair, desperately trying to make him do something, searching for some relief from the blissful torture, but he escapes from her hands.

"I'll do as I please," he smirks, before licking a long stripe on her inner thigh, making her whimper in desire, feeling how her knees shake when he takes a firm hold on her hips. "You know, I actually think that you might wanna sit down."

She nods eagerly, so he gets up and gently pushes her towards the bed, crawling between her slightly spread legs. She feels his warm breath tickling her wet heat, and she whimpers his name in such a needy way that he almost moans back; God, what is she doing to him. The truth is that he makes her wait for so long purposely, half because he's taking his pleasure in teasing her and half because he knows that she will enjoy the long awaited thing even more.

She is perfect, in every sense of the word, pink and swollen, dripping wet only for him to lick it up - she has no idea how bad he wants her. He nuzzles her thighs, her pussy, he can almost smell her arousal which makes him wanna end this up here and just fuck her roughly into the mattress, but he won't do it; she's such a pretty creature and deserves a lot more than this.

"Johnny, Johnny, please," she moans again, arching her back, pushing her hips up, trying to make him touch her. "Please, it hurts."

"Where does it hurt?" He asks, kissing her clit lingeringly, causing her to squeal in delight. "Here?"

"Yes, here," she gasps, and as if in an act of mercy, he touches her for the first time, running the tip of his tongue along her slick folds, making her sigh in relief, giving in to his gentle caress.

"Just like that," she whines breathlessly, tangling her fingers in his silky hair, tugging at them lightly, trying to figure out whether he likes it or not, but his quiet groan is acknowledging enough.

"Like that?" He murmurs, giving her clit another gentle suck, and she practically cries out, already pulsing in his mouth, oddly close to her release. She's never felt that kind of pleasure, and she can't get enough, it's intoxicating, addictive, delicious. She's not able to understand why she's never let anyone perform something like that on her, but she was always worried that they won't like the taste, the smell, so every time someone offer her to do it, she denied, regretting the decision later on.

As the time passes, she wants more and more, all of the untouched parts burn for attention, but he's giving all he can to her, lapping faster, sucking harder, making her almost cry out. She wraps her legs around his neck, absimidently pressing the calves to his bare back, feeling how his tongue circles the nub and moves back to tease her entrance.

"God, you have no idea how sweet you taste," he groans, voice low and sexy, and the only thing she's able to do is let out a needy moan. To be honest he's taking his pleasure in that, and both of them are more than aware of the fact which makes her shiver in delight. He's kinda missed it since his last girlfriend didn't really like oral which he always found pretty weird. She especially hated when he kissed her afterwards, she hated the taste upon his tongue; she preferred those slow love-making sessions and never let him take her as his pleased, it always had to be exactly as she wanted, she never cared about him and his needs, and not just with sex but with everything which was the main reason why they broke up. He's more than glad that they did since it gave him the opportunity to meet the beautiful blonde, or more like have a hook up with her, and to be honest he feels lucky that he has her just for him, that she's moaning because of him.

She feels filthy, like a dirty, needy bitch who can't compose herself, but she finds it even more arousing, and the truth is that she's never performed anything sexual with a guy she wasn't with, never let anyone push her into doing stuff such as this, never would spread her legs for a random person, but he's had her wrapped around his finger since the first time he looked at her in a certain way.

He licks a long stripe up her folds, catching the dripping wetness before it leaks on the expensive sheets, focusing on her clit afterwards, trying to bring her closer to the release. She arches to his touch, throwing her breasts in the air, and he can't help but grip them, making her cry out his name, toss and turn like crazy.

The air in the bedroom feels hot, his hands seem to burn her skin, tongue hot against her pussy, so, so hot, and she knows she's close, so, so close.

Suddenly he stops; why is that, why does he stop, why now? She whines in despair, trying to pull him back by the hair, but he escapes from her touch, climbing on top of her, pressing their chests together.

"I'm sorry baby, but I need you so bad," he practically groans and lays a gentle, apologetic kiss on her lips, before he gets up, making a quick work of taking off his jeans, adding them to the messy pile on the floor.

"I hope you'll make it up for me," she smirks, propping herself on the elbows, watching him undressing, laughing when he almost trips in process.

"I promise you won't be disappointed," he mutters under his breath, finally joining her on the plush mattress, sighing when their bare skin meet.

He gently brushes the blonde hair out of the way to lay a passionate kiss on her lips, flicking his tongue to taste her again, while he slowly grinds into her, making her let out an urgent moan, as if begging him to continue. He decides to stop teasing her, sliding inside her in one swift movement, causing the girl to gasp in shock.

"Fuck, Lizzie," he groans, her name rolling of his tongue in such a filthy way that she moans back, making him smirk smugly. He loves that she's so touchy and responsive to any of his actions, he loves all of the little sounds she makes, every small movement she does, he loves how she arches to his touch, how she always wants more and more - she's truly insatiable.

She's pulsing around him uncomfortably, just on the blink of her orgasm because of the previous experiences, needy and frustrated.

Finally he thrusts, and she whimpers again, arching her back from the mattress when he hits the right spot, making Lizzie throw her head back, giving him the perfect access to the usually pale skin, now reddening with arousal. He sucks the flesh, leaving a few harsh nips on the way, slowly licking over the bruises which she involuntary compares to the oral he gave her, and that simple thought pushes her over the edge. She cries out his name, clenching around him, making him groan deeply, and releases, the pulsing movements almost causes him to reach his own high.

He works her through the orgasm, giving slow, rhythmic thrusts, keeping her close to him until she comes down and finally stops shivering.

"More," she manages to moan, her mind still a little bit fuzzy in its orgasm-driven state.

"Darling, you need to be more specific here," he teases, flashing her a sly smirk.

"Just make me feel good again, please," she whines, already desperate for some sort of treat, and he knows he's not able to deny her any pleasure, so he starts again, this time faster and more rapid, making the girl throw her head back again as a few soft mewls slip past her lips.

He takes a firm hold on her hip and her shoulder, trying to steady himself, before he leans in for a bruising kiss that leaves her lips swollen, that leaves her gasping for air, wanting more; how is he even able to do this - kiss her with so much passion and leave her wanting more? She's never got the chance to meet a man like him, someone experienced, someone who knows exactly how to touch a woman, who knows how to please her. Every single caress, from a gentle stroke of his fingertips upon her heated skin to a simple French kiss, sends a delicious shiver up her spine, and she can't contain herself, can't get enough of it, of him.

She squeaks when he digs his blunt nails in her skin, probably leaving crescent moon shapes that will form bruises later on, but she can't care less since her main focus is something else, something buried deep inside her.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath. "So tight. I bet you haven't had a good fuck for a while, have you?"

"I haven't," she answers, staring right into his eyes, fascinated with the irises that seem black in the dim lighting; she's never seen anything like this before, and she can't look away.

He's breathing heavily, dancing on the edge of his own release, trying to hold back, and the fact that she's so tight, so wet, so warm around him doesn't make it any easier for him.

"And so wet," he resumes after a short break. "Tell me, how does it feel?"

"So good," she moans in response, closing her eyes in bliss, but he wants her to look at him, so he squeezes her throat lightly, just enough to gain her attention, he doesn't want to choke her or anything.

"Just good?" He raises a single brow, giving her a rapid thrust that makes her actually scream his name. "Tell me more, sugar."

"Better than ever," she coaxes, her voice weak, eyes huge and teary - vulnerable. "Johnny, please faster, I'm so close."

He does as she asks him, increasing the pace to the point when bed is squeaking, hitting the wall with loud, rhythmic thuds, making her arch from the mattress again. She rakes her nails down his back, receiving a sharp hiss from him, and to be honest he likes the thought that she marks him as hers, that the scratches will burn during the morning shower, that they will remind him of the sexy blonde and their lovely time together.

Finally the particular hard thrust he makes, pushes her over the edge, and she releases with another loud cry which leads him to his own long-awaited high. He gives her a few more sloppy thrusts, before he falls on the top of her with a heavy sigh, and she wraps her arms around his frame, bringing him close to her shivering body.

He presses their lips together for a lazy kiss which turns out to be rather breathing into each other's mouths than actually kissing, and rolls over, pulling her with him. She lays on top of him, their skin sticking together because of the thin layer of sweat, and nuzzles her head in the crook of his neck, still able to smell the rich scent of his perfumes. She still feels him pulsing inside her, and clenches around him involuntary, gaining a sensual groan from him, the one that lights a new fire in her lower stomach, causing another amount of moisture to pool between her legs.

Neither of them dares to break the silence, just enjoying each other's sweet presence and the fact that they are still joined so intimately. What she finds amazing is how smooth his skin is, how he keeps her pleasantly warm, how peaceful, how good it feels to be in his arms.

A few more minutes pass before he lifts her from his lap and pulls out, gaining a needy whimper from the equally needy girl. She crawls back on his lap immediately, pressing her body to his as close as possible, letting him wrap an arm around her.

"Johnny?" Her sweet voice breaks the silence, creeping between his thoughts to gain his attention. "Wanna change the room tomorrow?"

"What?" He chuckles, surprised because of the silly question she's just enquired. "Of course I'm staying with you."

"Well, that's..." she fumbles over the words, trying to hide the obvious blush that covers her cheeks. "That's... fine, very fine. God, I'm not making any sense."

He can't help but laugh at her adorable behavior, causing her to blush even more. "But wouldn't it look, well... obvious?" She resumes after a brief moment, as soon as she regains her composure. "I have no intentions in offending you, but you're older, and wouldn't it look like-"

"No, it wouldn't," he snaps, sort of bitterly, immediately regretting the rude tone he's used on her; she's just having second thoughts, all of those little insecurities which is pretty normal in their situation. "Sorry babe," her heart skips a beat when he calls her by the pet name, using that deep voice, as if he knew the affect it has on her - this man will be death for her, certainly. "I didn't mean to make it sound like this."

"No, it's fine," she simply shrugs it away, immediately changing the subject. "You know, I'm kinda wondering how old you are."

He chuckles when he hears her finally say it out loud, since he's known for some time now that it's been bothering her, but the same thing could be said about him, because she looks pretty young herself.

"How much would you give me?"

"Judging by your sexual abilities?" She raises a single brow, but before he gets a chance to respond, she resumes. "Seriously though, I would give you like thirty five."

"I wished," he laughs, but to be honest it kinda flatters him that she thinks so.

"Forty? Honestly I have no idea," she guesses, actually hitting the point this time, gaining a barely noticeable nod followed by a soft hum from him.

"Really? I wouldn't have thought." She smiles softly at him, before getting straight forward to what she wants to say. "Now tell me, how old do you think I am?"

"Judging by how tight your pussy is?" He mimics her, making the girl roll her eyes which doesn't get past his attention. "Then you must be in your early twenties, something like twenty three, am I right?"

"Twenty two," she corrects him. "But you were close enough."

"Wow, I'm flattered," he replies, theatrically lying a hand on his heart.

"You'd better be," she laughs, trying to sound at least a bit serious, but fails miserably, causing him throw his head back in laughter.

"You know what? I'm kinda glad we ended up in the same room," he speaks after a moment if silence, a comfortable silence which is an odd feeling for her; usually lack of words isn't a good thing while spending time with someone (excluding her best friend), she always feels that kind of a pressure that she has to bring up a new subject as fast as possible, otherwise the tension between the people gets, well... thick; but with him it feels different which is a good sign after all.

"Sure you are," she rolls her eyes again, and he comes to the conclusion that she does it a little bit too much, not that he minds though, but her parents probably do - weird thought, isn't it?

"No, I don't mean it only that way. Don't get me wrong, I..." he's quiet for a brief moment that he needs to find a suitable word to describe what is about to come out of his mouth, "... would be lying, if I said I wasn't enjoying myself with you, but you seem to be an interesting person, and-"

"And you would like to get to me closer, even if it's possible to get closer than by fucking me," she finishes with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, making him roll his eyes for a change - she's sassy, and let's say it straight, since there's no point in lying to yourself - it turns him on.

"You're different, different than any other woman at your age, any other woman I've ever met," he states and she's about to interrupt him with another sarcastic comment, but it intrigues her, so she remains silent. "And I don't know what it is, but I want more."

His statement leaves her speechless for a moment, her previous thoughts swim through her mind, and before she knows it, she starts talking. "Are you serious? Because I feel the same, but I think you're more than aware of that, like you've probably noticed the way I've been looking at you, or how nervous I got around you, how I couldn't even form a simple sentence which is actually embarrassing, I have to admit, but since you were honest with me, I should pay you back with the same, so here's the equally embarrassing truth - a lass falling for you."

She looks away, feeling the traitorous blush forming upon her cheeks, but he gently holds her chin up, forcing her to look into his eyes again. She opens her mouth to apologise for being too direct, but he shushes her with a simple kiss, flicking his tongue over hers accidentally, making her moan quietly, before he actually releases her lips.

"Baby, there's no need to apologise," he murmurs, brushing her lips as he speaks since they are still just inches apart from each other, causing her to shiver in delight once more this night. "Because you're sitting on the lap of the man who's falling for you."

Suddenly she feels dizzy, dizzy because of the happiness, dizzy because he's taken an interest in her, a grown up man has taken an in her - a lass, barely a woman, with stupid hair that never wants to look decent, with ugly freckles on her cleavage, with ridiculously big eyes that don't even match her face - no, that can't be truth.

"What?" She squeals like a schoolgirl, making him let out a cute, little chuckle that instantly warms her heart, and before she knows it, he pulls her down to lie on top of him. She can't help but laugh, burying her head in his shoulder, but soon she lays down on the mattress properly, snuggling closer to his side.

"I really mean what I've said," he resumes as soon as she gets settled comfortably with her arm across his chest and legs tangled with his.

"I know," she whispers, so quietly that he can barely hear it, but it's enough for him to smile contently, even though she can't see it.

"Lizzie?" He asks, but when he doesn't receive any answer, he looks down a her, discovering that she's fast asleep by his side. "Oh well, goodnight then," he whispers this time, afraid to speak any louder because he has no intentions in waking her up since she's probably tired.

He reaches out to extinguish the light, causing her to moan, but not wake up, and lays down beside her again, giving the lovely girl one more look, before he closes his eyes, slowly beginning to drift away to the peaceful sleep.

[wxyvision]

Dear First Love {3/4}

Genre: angst, fluff

Word count: 2,106

Part 1 | Part 2

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Dear first love,

So you heard, from either Guanheng or Mark, I assume, that I wanted you to teach me how to dance. I mean, I was sort of serious, I thought it could be a good way to get closer to you whilst doing something fun. I wasn’t actually expecting them to tell you, though. I should thank you for actually offering to teach me, and for not laughing at my bad dancing. I was surprised that you bought food and drinks for me, I really wasn’t expecting you to do that. The food was tasty, thank you. You keep making me fall for you more and more with your sweet actions. It’s not fair, how do I make your heart melt? How do I make you fall for me the way I have done for you? I keep hoping maybe I’ll get really good at dancing and your heart will flutter. I can hope, huh? You were really patient with me, I appreciated that. I think I would have gotten frustrated after a while! Also, did you notice that my Mandarin improved a lot? I’ve been studying hard recently! Guanheng still doesn’t know that I’m learning for you, I think he thinks I’m learning because a lot of the boys speak the language and not because I have feelings for you. We talked a lot whilst you taught me, it was fun. Did you enjoy it too? I hope maybe we can do it again in the future, even though I’m nowhere near as talented as you are. Even if I mess up all of the steps, I would be a fun time as long as I get to spend it with you! I wish I had something to share with you in return as a thank you, but you’re already into acting, so it’s nothing new to you. What can I do?

Your little dumpling

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Dear first love,

Guess how long it’s been since we met! It’s been a whole two years!! Right now it’s nearing the summer holidays and I’m really looking forward to it. Especially since we made plans to hang out over the summer, both alone and with the boys. Just as long as we don’t go camping, I don’t want anyone to break a bone or anything. Perhaps we could visit the zoo! Or maybe the beach? Again, I would love to go to the theme park all together, but I can imagine that it would be chaos! Can you imagine a group of teens running around like kids in a sweetshop? Yeah... maybe that would be one for just us two, or us and a couple others. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Oh, but I forgot you’re afraid of heights, aren’t you, my little chicken wing? Perhaps that wouldn’t be such a good idea after all.. I’m sure we’ll find something that everyone wants to do! Do you have any other plans for the summer holidays? I know you said something about trying to visit home for a week or two, I hope you get to spend some quality time with your family, you must miss them a lot. My summer holidays will be spent either hanging out with you and the boys or doing random little doodles when I get bored of eating ice cream in the park. Ha, just kidding, I’ll never get tired of eating ice cream. Especially if the other person is paying ;). I should do a doodle of you, but I would have to do a doodle of everyone so it doesn’t seem like I’m only drawing you. After all, I don’t want to make my feelings obvious, especially because I don’t know how you feel… Damn, why can’t I just tell you? It seems so silly to be so scared. You wouldn’t run away, right?

Your little dumpling

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Dear first love,

Summer flew by fast! I think it's because I had a lot of fun. We should be able to meet up once before school starts again, right? We got the chance to hang out a lot over the summer, which was amazing. We all went to the beach a couple of times... that was complete chaos, but it was funny when we all tried to throw Mark in the water. He still uses that against me. You wouldn't believe how many ice creams he's gotten out of me. At least YangYang managed to get us free ice cream out of the oldie hehe. Did you enjoy the little water fight? We were on the same team, weren't we? I always knew you were secretly competitive! You were a good shot, better than me at least. I wish we could do that again some time. There's always next summer, isn't there? I hope we'll all stay in contact when we leave. It's our last year here now, and then we will have graduated. It's kind of sad to think that I may never see you and the other boys after then, but I hope we at least talk sometimes, even if it's not as much as we do now. I'm just gonna enjoy this year as much as I can and make even more amazing memories with you! We made plans to hang out often, assuming school doesn't get in the way too much. I won't be doing any performing this year, I have enough on my plate with exams and that, but I volunteered to be a stagehand, so I'll still be pretty busy. Not too busy that I can't see you, I hope. Maybe we can all go bowling again like we did over the summer. It was a little difficult since we couldn't all play against one another, but it was fun to have a friendly competition. And how could I forget? You and me going to the zoo together, just the two of us. It turns out you were just as excited to see all of the animals as I was. Although I wasn't just happy because of seeing the animals, but because I got to spend time with you, too. We took many photos, didn't we? I hope we can both look back at that day with fondness. I know I will. If only it could have been a date, but I will settle for a hangout for now. Perhaps one day?

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

It was your birthday on Wednesday! You're another year older and wiser (and sweeter) now. I know this year it was a bit less organised than before, but everyone has been busy with school work recently so we had less time to make proper plans. It's regretful, especially since this is the last year celebrating your birthday like this. Still, it was nice to have a more relaxing celebration, don't you think? Well, apart from Lucas starting a high note battle and nearly getting us kicked out. But it's those kind of memories that we'll keep in our hearts. The two of you had two cakes (lucky!). Unfortunately one of them was allowed to be decorated by Donghyuk and Guanheng… sorry about that. They really made a mess, didn't they? Still, they were proud of their "artwork". It was cute, though… kinda. You looked really happy the whole time, I don't think I ever saw that smile leave your face, not even for one second. I'm really glad that spending time with us made you so happy. We also celebrated Halloween together, didn't we? It was pretty cool seeing everyone dress up in fun costumes. You looked super handsome as always! It probably wasn't a good idea to watch spooky movies though. All I kept hearing was someone screaming… and I could see a few of the boys hiding behind cushions. But then Johnny put on a Halloween playlist and we had a mini rave. I don't think I've ever seen anyone waving strawberry pencils like a lightstick before. It's these sort of things we learn not to question after a while, huh? It was good to spend more time with you, school has been pretty hectic recently. It seems that every class has a million and one assignments to complete and to blink would be wasting time. Still, that's no excuse not to party! ...Maybe that's why I'm so behind. I hope things are going well for you. I hope your classes aren't too crazy and that work isn't piled up high for you <3

Your little dumpling

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Dear first love,

Christmas has come and gone! How was it for you? I heard that you went home to see your family this year. I know how much you've been missing them from the conversations that we've had lately. I keep seeing photos of you and your family on your Instagram. You look absolutely adorable in that Christmas sweater! I can tell how happy you are to be home from how wide your smile is and from the twinkle in your eyes. I wish for you to be that happy always. I can't wait to hear all about your Christmas when school starts again. I wonder what sort of presents you got. I bet you got something really cool, right? Did you eat well? There was so much food for me, but I ate a lot! I mostly received money and small gifts but I treasure those gifts a lot because they were so thoughtful. Did you enjoy the presents you got from me and the boys? I know mine wasn't that much but it's the thought that counts, right? I know how much you like those. Are you flying back for New Year's Eve? Johnny is throwing a party to see in the new year. I hope that you'll be there but if not, then happy new year. I hope next year treats you even better. Time seems to fly by so fast, doesn't it? It feels like only a week ago that the year began, yet it's already ending! Are you planning on making a resolution? I never stick to mine. I always promise myself that I'll eat healthier, or procrastinate less, or sleep better but I never do. I wonder if it's the same for you.

Your little dumpling

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Dear first love,

I wasn't going to write another letter so soon but I have to get these feelings out of my head and onto this page. I'm glad you were there for the party. You looked handsome as ever, although was I really expecting you not to? You were wearing the cutest sweater I've ever seen. It looked so good on you, but then again what doesn't look good on you? That was… I'm sorry. I'm glad you enjoyed the party. It was nice to spend time with you again after not seeing you for a bit. I heard all about your Christmas with your family. It made me wish I had been there, it sounded so homely and sweet. Your family sound lovely. It's no wonder you're such a sweet person when your family is also that sweet. Still, I'm now wishing that I was busy that day. Or sick. Or for some reason I hadn't been there. As much as it kills me to say that, that's how I feel. Despite being so happy to see you and talk to you and spend lots of time with you, I wish that I hadn't been there. But we can't take back that now, can we? If you were reading this now I bet you'd be wondering why I felt like this, wouldn't you? It sounds so silly, and I shouldn't be so upset over it, but it still hurts. I had always wished that one day I'd have a new years kiss. Maybe I should have been more specific with that wish. I felt so bad. It'll be awkward to see Mark tomorrow. Actually, I don't know if I will. It depends how things go I guess, but I hope things will be okay between us, he's the best best friend I've ever had and I don't want to lose that. I feel bad that he was kissing me yet the only person I could see was you. I feel bad that I don't feel that way for him, and now our friendship is threatened by one stupid kiss. And I wish I felt that way for him because then it wouldn't hurt so much seeing you kissing someone else… I don't know if you have feelings for them or not, but either way the image still makes me heart feel heavy.

Little dumpling

[09yards]

6 - Colouring Outside the Lines (days gone by - nct)

Days Gone By masterlist | main masterlist

The remainder of August passed like nothing ever happened, school started up again far too quickly and maybe, just maybe, Mark would get his fresh start and life could go back to ‘normal’. But really, what is normal anymore? Between Renjun and Jaemin figuring out where they stand with one another, Hyuck pretending like everything’s okay and the brother Mark feels like he barely knows anymore, Mark feels too busy to get a second chance to think about anything other than his exams. Autumn always brings about change, for some its for the better – for others, not so much.

They say time slips away when you’re having fun, that’s why you said let’s change our life to a dull one Don’t wanna blink one day and this will all be over, if only time could stop so we’d never grow older

Yet in the same breath I look forward to the day when our skin has aged, I’ll love you just the same Our canvas will have endless hues and shades because of all the vivid colours that we made

Mark always liked Autumn the most out of the seasons, the softer weather, no longer having to deal with the obnoxious sun, trees turning from electric greens to an array of dusky oranges. The air was crisper, a little harsher and with it came the rain but Mark never minded rain, perhaps it was the memories of walking Jisung home from middle school with Johnny, running and laughing as the rain poured over them – having forgotten their umbrellas that morning. Their mum always berating them for being so careless, complaining and nagging that they could make themselves sick. Collapsing through the door, out of breath, changing out of their now soaked through uniforms and curling up with hot chocolates in an attempt to increase their body temperature. They didn’t get to do that anymore. Johnny was at university, although only an hour away, but far enough that technically he didn’t live here anymore, at least not from September until June, Jisung went to the same school as Mark now and refused to drive in with him, still taking the bus – arguing he liked his ‘quiet time’. Mark remembers the bus, the bus is not in any way, shape or form, quiet. Jisung was fiercely independent, everyone knew this, he kept to himself as much as possible bar the three friends Mark knew he’d had since pre-school, Beomgyu, Samuel and Linlin, who even with their ten-year friendship, Mark knew very little about each of them. Frankly, he didn’t know much about his younger brother, not as much as he’d like to at least. Sure, Mark could tell you he has an extremely varied music taste, currently enjoying BTS and Black Pink but also the likes of panic! At the disco and Vinyl Theatre, he seems to be obsessed with HONNE at the minute if the constant playing of crying over you or location unknown was anything to go by, Mark could tell you that he prefers grey or muted tones rather than colour, knew that Jisung hates tomatoes but doesn’t mind tomato flavoured things, but Mark didn’t learn these things because he was told them, they were just things he’d picked up on. They didn’t talk anymore. Mark didn’t know what TV show he was currently binging, or what his favourite film at the minute is. Mark didn’t know the youngers opinions on his soulmate mark, he couldn’t remember the last time he heard Jisung ranting about Johnny and Ten and the damage they do to his innocence.

Jisung felt like a stranger to Mark these days, not someone he once couldn’t be separated from. Maybe that was a bit of a stretch but they were close, just how you’d imagine siblings to be. Sure, they fought and squabbled over who really won at Mario Kart but for a long time they really were each other’s best friend.

It was sad really. Beginning to feel like you lived alongside a stranger, passing each other in the hallway or across the landing but no time for anything more than a quick ‘hello’ or a mumbled, half-arsed ‘good morning’ from either of the brothers. It would also be much better if Mark wasn’t thinking about all of this at four am when he had a chemistry test at nine and while half of his brain is making him feel guilty about how he’s been a shitty brother and too preoccupied with his exams, the other half of his brain is running through Born-Haber cycles and it only made him feel worse. Marks realising that even though its barely October, he’s become exactly who he didn’t want to be, he drowns himself in work and when he’s not studying thermodynamics or the freaking nitrogen cycle he’s attempting to get some sleep or sometimes , just sometimes, he’s actually active in the group chat and is able to somewhat keep up with Renjun and Jaemin’s developing relationship but most importantly he’s gotten used to Donghyuck pretending like not a thing had happened back in August. Donghyuck left that morning, within two days he was back to messaging the group chat (also known as ‘Beyoncé’s bad bitches’ - yes, it was named by Jaemin, Renjun is still mad he wasn’t allowed to call it ‘a guide to crackheads, volume 101’ and Hyuck wanted to call it ‘hoes mad’. Mark did not agree to any of these names and continues to hide his phone whenever his mum is around - he has never flipped it over so fast than when his mum walks into the room, his friends have a habit of setting their own contact names to inappropriate phrases, i.e. Jaemin’s (again) current contact name is ‘your guide to getting that dick 101’, is there not a limit on the number of characters?) like everything was fine, starting out with his fist message about why on earth did he have homework over the summer, the summer. Weren’t you supposed to relax and ‘blow off some steam’?

Mark’s brain was in a state of overflow, uni application due here, maths test next week, chemistry exam today , start spending more time with your brother before you get even busier and he needs someone right now without Johnny around and deal with stupid feelings for Donghyuck knowing full well that they are unrequited tomorrow.

“Hey Mark? Can you come pick me up?”

“Sure, what time?”

“Now?” Panic, panic, panic.

“Yeah sure. Is everything okay? You sound kinda wobbly?”

“I’m fine. I’m down the backroad behind the park, I’m waiting at the end of the road.”

“Okay, I’m grabbing my keys and I’ll be on my way.”

Mark’s guide on how not to panic was a short one, it consisted of ‘breathe and don’t freak other people out’. He only had a ten-minute car journey to figure out how to calm down. Jisung was in trouble . There is no way he would’ve called otherwise and considering he could’ve walked home and it would only take an extra five minutes, something was clearly wrong. Hence, Mark’s brain has gone into instant panic mode. He wasn’t good at dealing with people or emotions, especially when he had no idea why his brother was down this road – none of his friends lived here, at least not as far as he could recall. Mark definitely broke the speed limit more than once (or four) times, his baby brother wasn’t okay.

Jisung looked glum. His eyes were read and puffy, visible even though Mark was a few metres away from him, his posture was sluggish and he looked broken . Jisung’s face didn’t light up upon seeing Mark, although he did look a little less panicked, instead he practically dragged his body into the car, slouching in his seat and saying “Just go,” before turning up the Twice song currently playing (what is love? Mark’s brain supplied).

“Are we going to sit in silence and pretend like everything’s fine or is this the point where instead of Twice we listen to The Neighbourhood, Chase Atlantic and The 1975 and you tell me what’s going on so I don’t have to call Johnny or mum ?” Yeah, Mark was not good at the whole authority figure thing but he did remember all the things Johnny did for him. Mark remembers his first crush, the boy was not gay and Mark, stupidly, told this boy, Daniel, that he was. Daniel was one of the first people Mark came out to and well, he didn’t take it well. Accused him of ‘tainting’ him, trying to make him gay. So, Mark, teary-eyed and heartbroken, rang Johnny who came to pick him up. Johnny sat with him in the car at the lookout, blasting Mr Brightside by The Killers until Mark was ready to talk. That was when Johnny taught Mark about how there are some really, really great people who will run around waving pride flags for you and do everything they can to make you comfortable (like Lucas) and there are some people who are stupid and are not-so-great, some people don’t like it and that’s okay, they’re entitled to their opinion, Johnny had said, they’re just wrong. Mark was thirteen at the time and quickly learnt that some problems (aka stupid crushes on boys that are tall, have fluffy hair and chocolate-coloured eyes) can be solved with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream and some crying while listening to Taylor Swift, not that Mark would ever admit his secret love for her.

“There’s a boy,” Jisung mumbled, “I think I like him? I don’t know. I ran out of his house after he hugged me and I panicked.” Oh. My. God. This was happening, okay Mark, you can do this.

“Does he make you happy?”

“So happy. He smiles at me and I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. We get along really well, he doesn’t find my playlists weird and he already knew every Twice member and most of the artists I was listening to and he thinks I’m cute and he pinches my cheeks and I don’t hate it.”

“You hate when anyone touches you without permission, usually?”

“I usually do. But, not him. I want to pinch his cheeks too. He has a gummy smile, it’s so cute. He has purple hair too! I really want to try purple, he said I’d look good with pink though so now I really want to try pink hair because he likes it. What is happening to me Mark?”

“You’ve got a crush Sungie.”

“Like you and Hyuck?”

“Yeah, like me and Hyuck. You feel the room brighten a little when he walks in and he makes you a little breathless when he gets too close, right?”

“Right! I’m gay aren’t I. This is the moment I realise I’m gay, huh, though it’d be a bit more exciting.”

“You’ve got plenty of time to explore what you want to, or not, label yourself as Sungie. But you do have a crush on a boy . It’s not the end of the world and no, he won’t hate you.”

“But I don’t know if he’s gay? I’d feel bad if he wasn’t and I tried to confess.”

“I honestly have no idea who we’re talking about so I couldn’t tell you if I had an inkling or not but you’ll figure it out. Talk to him, that’s the only way to get through these things. You can panic and run away all you like but you can’t avoid him forever, trust me, I’ve tried one too many times.”

“Okay. Thank you. Do you think this means Ten’s going to drag me to pride now?”

Mark let out a sigh, “We both know everyone was going whether they wanted to or not. Come on, let’s get ice cream and watch a movie. If you’ve got any questions you can always come to me, unless its sex stuff – I’m not ready for that, go to Johnny, you’re a baby so there better be no sex stuff for a long, long time.”

“Oh my god Mark,” Jisung groaned, “you do not have to worry about that stuff. Please just drive, I want cookie dough. And, we’re playing Mario Kart! Dibs on Yoshi.” With one last chuckle, Mark turned back to look at the younger, his own smile widening upon seeing a veryembarrassed but grinning Jisung. They would figure this out, together.

- - -

“You like me and my cold hands,” Jaemin whined, “maybe, you could warm them up for me. Don’t look at me like that, you loveee me.”

“Har-har, have I mentioned how funny you are lately? No? Wonder why that is. Come here you idiot.” Jaemin wrapped his arms around the smaller, allowing Renjun to bury his head into his chest, one of the only places the younger emitted warmth.

“See, told you that you love me.” I do, not that I’d tell you that.

“Renjun? Hey, you’re going to get a sore back if we don’t move.”

“I don’t want to.”

“What did you say? Renjun you can’t speak into me; I can’t hear you.”

“I said, I don’t want to go. I like it here, you’re warm.”

“Not even ten minutes ago you were whining that I’m cold.”

“I said your hands; your hands are always cold but you seem to radiate heat from everywhere else. Wait, aside from your feet too, they’re always cold, whenever they touch me in bed, I feel like an icicle.”

“You’re just always cold, you wear hoodies in August .” Now, as much as Renjun likes to dispute most comments made about him, he couldn’t argue against this. It may be October now and the cold weather has well and truly set in but, Renjun was always cold – four layers even when the current temperature was reading eighteen degrees, almost hot for an Autumn day. It worked as the perfect excuse to curl up into people (Jaemin) in search of warmth.

“There is nothing wrong with that,” Renjun huffed, “I’m just naturally colder than like, everyone.”

“I like that you’re cold, it gives me the excuse to cuddle you into oblivion and it makes you squirm when I do this-“

“AAH! STOP!” Icy hands were tickling at Renjun’s sides, making their way under his shirt, Renjun squirming and giggling, breathlessly panting for Jaemin to stop.

“Speak clearly Injun, I can’t hear you.” The grin on Jaemin’s face would make your cheeks hurt, wide with pure joy and his eyes filled with love as he flipped their positions, hovering over Renjun as he continued to tickle him to no end. “What was that? Did you say you wanted me to stop?”

“Jaeminnie please,” his voice was wheezy, trying to catch his breath whenever Jaemin’s hands paused their movement.

“Okay, okay. I have a better idea anyway,” and with that, his voice dropped an octave, away from his usual singsong tone to darker and husky. He dropped his head into the crook of Renjun’s neck, leaving light, feathery kisses where he could before moving under his ear and up his jaw, planting kiss after kiss on the expanse of Renjun’s face. God, Jaemin gave the best forehead kisses.

“Yep,” another sigh left Renjun’s lips, “definitely a better idea.” Jaemin finally connected their lips, breath tangling with one another’s, lips chasing each other whenever they parted for breath. It was needy but soft, like they were treasuring every moment of it, holding onto it.

A short while later Jaemin, having left Renjun with lips slightly swollen, much pinker than they were before and his neck littered with reddening marks, pulled away.

“We need to talk.” Renjun wasn’t a fan of this tone of voice, it wasn’t singsong and melodic like normal, nor was it huskier and darker than when he was breathless. This tone was rigid, void of emotion.

“S-sure?” It made Renjun feel small, like he was vulnerable, almost like whenever he got in trouble with his parents as a child.

Jaemin moved from hovering over him, instead opting to sit next to him. He let out a sigh, running his hand over his face, “I can’t keep doing this,” his voice was wobblier now, “we can’t keep going around like this not knowing if we’re soulmates or not. We could be hurting people. I have a soulmate mark and you don’t, maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be – you’re my soulmate but, I am not yours.” Jaemin continued to rant on like this, saying that it wasn’t fair, that he didn’t want to live like this.

“Jesus Jaemin, will you let me speak for one second, please?”

“Oh, right, uhm. Yeah, sorry, go ahead.” The way Jaemin could turn from dominant and flirtatious, arrogant and stern to a complete utter mess never ceased to amaze Renjun.

“You’re an idiot, a complete and utter idiot.”

“Now, I don’t think that’s fair- “

“No, it is,” Renjun leant down to tug his sock off, his soulmate mark out of hiding, “look at me, stop burying your face in your hands and look at me.”

“I’m embarrassed Renjun, I think I have every right to not want to look at you.”

“Oh my god, I would not put up with you if you weren’t my soulmate.”

“What?” Jaemin’s head snapped up at that, glassy eyes meeting Renjun’s before darting down to where Renjun’s leg was crossed over into his lap, revealing his soulmate mark in all its super tiny glory. Angel written in a minimalistic print along his ankle. “You’re kidding, h-how could you not tell me?” A lone tear escaped the corner of his eye and god, Renjun was so damn in love with this boy.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, Hyuck said you cried for three hours about how I didn’t have a soulmate mark. I couldn’t exactly turn around and be like ‘hey Jaemin, I know we’ve been making out at least three times a week since prom night and we’re not together officially or anything but you are actually my soulmate , you’re just a dumbass who didn’t take my socks off and I’m madly in love with you’. Do you see my issue there?”

“Nope, you definitely should’ve done that. I could’ve been kissing you every day of the week. I liked you before, regardless of whether or not we were soulmates, sure I knew since I met you because wow, you’re you and then I just- “

“Shut up and kiss me already.”

“This means we’re boyfriends, right?”

“Not if you don’t kiss me in the next three seconds.”

“Jesus, so bossy!”

“You love it.”

“That I do.”

“I love you too.”

[minhyung127]

Enemies to Lovers! - Taeyong

Request: ah ok can you do a enemies to lovers with taeyong then?? :)

A/N: uhh sorry if this is shitty, I haven’t written something in awhile!!! 

➥ Masterlist

Word Count: 1,170

 All my enemies to lovers are always au’s

I just can’t picture idol nct

sooo college Taeyong is what y’all are getting!!!

I also have ones for Johnny and Jeno

ok let’s start this!!

there’s nothing better than two set of parents have children around the same age and become friends

thus the children becoming best friends by default

everyone can agree it is the cutest thing ever

too bad something went wrong in the beginning of high school that made you and Taeyong hate each other

you could never figure out why he suddenly became cold with you

you were nervous for high school and was glad that you had Taeyong by your side

but he wouldn’t even look at you all year long

to make things worse he was the only person you ever hung out with

and it did hurt when you saw him happily hanging out with a group of guys that you had no idea who they were

not only did he stop hanging out with you but he also started to lie to both of your parents

whenever you all hung out together he’d lie about all the fun you two were having in high school

instead of speaking up you decided to allow him to continue lying, knowing that his lies would catch up with him one day

and they did

neither if your parents were stupid

the vibe was different from each other now

you two sat as far away from each other as you could

but just because you two weren’t friends anymore that didn’t mean your parents couldn’t be friends with each other anymore

so their monthly hangouts together still happened

and Taeyong or you were forced to go to every event

luckily you were able to bring friends over so it wouldn’t be so awkward

and that’s how it went for the rest of high school

ignoring each other everyday

despite knowing you two had such a tight bond before

you’d be lying if didn’t say you missed him

there was no one else you could ever open up to like you did with Taeyong

but that jerk ghosted you for no reason

luckily you two went to different colleges and got a break from seeing other for a couple months

and now that you had finished your finals and we’re back home

your parents wanted to have a cookout in celebration

and none other than Taeyong’s parents were invited

and Taeyong as well, since he just got back from college too

but that was the last thing on your mind

it was your first day back home and your boyfriend from college decided to dump you out of nowhere

you always told yourself not to date anyone in college but you did it anyway and now you’re currently heartbroken in your room while your parents are tending to the guest

it was suppose to be a heart warming welcoming party instead you were in your room crying with sad music playing

it only made things worse but it block out the sound of the party from outside

your parents did apologize for your absence

and your guests understood and were very sympathetic or worried

especially Taeyong, who tried not to show it too much

he had actually always cared about you

despite him distancing himself from you

though his parents did asked him to bring you a plate of food so you didn’t starve yourself that night

again he acted like he didn’t care

but on the inside he was thrilled he can finally get some one on one time with you after all these years

he knew he couldn’t just barge back in to your life

both literally and figuratively

so he softly knocked on your door and waited for you to come out

you couldn’t say that seeing his face made you more upset because you were just so confused and angry that he showed up

you would’ve rather that one of your parents, or one of his parents, show up instead of him

“I heard you got your heartbroken today.” He said, as he placed your plate of food next to your bed

you gave him the cold shoulder at first

but you soon cave in a started to talk to him

it took some reassurance from Taeyong at first that he’s was here for you

but after that you poured out your feelings to him just like you use to when you two were close

you did needed someone to talk to at the moment

someone that wouldn’t give you basic advice like parents often did

after telling Taeyong all the shit your ex did to you

there was something that was still bothering you

“Why did you suddenly leave me?” You asked

you didn’t expect him to suddenly apologizing to you over and over

but his main excuse for leaving you was because he did find a group of guys to hang out with

and he did want to try something new

but he didn’t know that his new group of friends would keep him from seeing you

and since you both wanted to get away from sad topics you both started talking about college, and how that’s been

and all the things you both have missed in the years apart

you two were having such a great time that neither of you noticed the time

it was late and Taeyong needed to go but he didn’t want to lose touch with you again

so you both exchanged numbers and started texting each other immediately

you two have been texting each other for weeks now

occasionally seeing each other in person too

but one afternoon you got a text that you were not expecting at all

Taeyong asked you out in a date later that night

you’d be stupid to not accept

you tried to keep it a secret but you were kinda gaining a crush on him

when you two were younger you had only seen him as a friend

but now everything felt different

and you were extremely happy that he felt the same way

the date went perfect as well

it was a simple date

movies then milkshakes afterwards

but it was one of the best

again you two lost track of time while sipping your milkshakes that you two accidentally stayed until closing

you both never imagined you two could ever get this close again

let alone go on a date and have a great time

this was the happiest either of you have ever been

and all summer long you two hung out and went on a lot of dates together

and before either of you had to go back to college Taeyong asked you to be his girlfriend

you gladly accepted

you liked the idea of leaving home knowing that you two were in a relationship instead of leaving off dating and unsure

it was also quite cute having him visit you at your dorms every weekend

or you go visit him when your classes were done for the day

Taeyong definitely treated you much better than anyone else

and you were extremely happy to have him back in your life.