#Heartbreaker Hella

[an0nym0us-m0nster]

can ppl not compare the death of Queen Elizabeth to the slow development of YanSim

[1830163892]

4/5 ⭐️

[pariwara]

i think it's so funny how 5 seconds of summer supposedly had a "groupie phase" around 2015-16(?) while making the most teenybopper pop rock music there is at the time babsbajsjdjdja

[hxxsxxng]

JAKE 심재윤 - BOYFRIEND’S BEST FRIEND

MINORS DNI

Word count: 3.3k

Genre: SMUT with hella plot

Content: Degradation, Unprotected Sex, Infidelity, Fingering, Oral f recieving, Choking, Pet Names. Cursing, jake is overall just mean and rough lmao

Preview: Longing for your boyfriend’s best friend turns into something more at a friend get together.

Authors Note: I just poured my heart and soul into this, I will not want to miss reading this I promise.

SUPPORT BY REBLOGGING if you want

Wonnie was all I could ever ask for. My heart overflows with adoration for my sweet boy. Every moment spent with him is a cherished blessing that makes me wonder what I did to deserve someone like him. The way his eyes sparkle when he smiles at me melts my heart into a puddle. His tender embrace wraps me in the warmth and comfort of pure love. Even the little things he does, like surprising me with my favorite snack or sending a caring text to check on me, speak volumes about how thoughtful and caring he is. With him by my side, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Jake was different. The ache in my heart has become unbearable as I find myself helplessly torn between the man I love and his best friend. My boyfriend is the kindest, most caring soul, and the depths of my adoration for him are endless. Yet I can't deny the magnetic pull I feel towards Jake - the lingering gazes, the electrifying brushes of arms, the undeniable chemistry. It's utterly confusing and heartbreaking. I'm overwhelmed by guilt for even allowing these treacherous thoughts to enter my mind. But the heart wants what it wants, doesn't it? I'm paralyzed by the fear of losing the amazing man I've loved for so long, while also being haunted by the "what ifs" with his best friend. Turmoil rages within me as I pathetically attempt to navigate this excruciating inner conflict. Whichever path I choose, I'll be forced to inflict devastation on someone who matters immensely, and I don't want that.

It was a gorgeous summer evening and we were all gathered at Heeseung's place for a bonfire. Jungwon threw his arm casually around me as we took our seats around the crackling flames. I leaned into him, inhaling his comfortingly familiar scent, but my eyes kept getting pulled towards Jake.

Jungwon's best friend since childhood, Jake was stretched out on the grass, shirt discarded and those sculpted abs on full display. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the flickering shadows dancing across his tanned skin. Our gazes met briefly and an electric current shot through my body at the smoldering intensity in his stare before he looked away.

Feeling enough guilt to drown in, I snuggled closer to Jungwon, resting my head on his shoulder. He pressed a tender kiss to my hair and I clung to him tightly, trying to push the intrusive thoughts about Jake from my mind. But it was impossible to ignore the way my pulse quickened whenever Jakes deep chuckle burst through the night air.

"Hey babe, let's make some s'mores," Jungwon murmured in my ear, his fingers stroking my arm. I forced myself to smile at him adoringly. "Sure, that sounds perfect."

We gathered the graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows, letting our hands linger a little too long as we fed each other the gooey treats. All the while, I could feel Jakes eyes burning into me from across the flames. The tension was excruciating, suffocating. I wanted to curl up and cease to exist just to escape this torment.

As the night wore on, I nestled against Wonnie's side, trying my utmost to be the perfectly content girlfriend. But I was haunted by the deepening ache I felt for his best friend.

At one point, Jake rose to toss another log on the fire and my breath hitched as his toned back muscles flexed with the movement. Our eyes locked and the world seemed to stop spinning for a heart-pounding moment before Jungwon's voice snapped me back to reality.

"You want another beer, babe?" Jungwon asked, stroking my cheek affectionately.

"Sure, thanks," I murmured, tearing my gaze away from Jake with immense effort.

As Jake sauntered past to grab a new drink, my fingers ached to reach out and trace the contours of his sun-kissed skin. The mere thought made me feel faint with longing and disgust at my own disloyalty.

When Jake returned to his spot, I glanced at him over the rim of my bottle. The way his lips wrapped around the neck as he took lingering pulls from his beer made my mouth go dry. Jake caught me staring and arched one eyebrow before slowly dragging his tongue along his lower lip. An indecent shiver raced through me.

"You okay?" Jungwon's concerned voice dragged me back to reality again. "You seem...distracted tonight."

"I'm fine, babe. Just a little tired" I lied, forcing a reassuring smile as I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled his face down to mine for a lingering kiss.

Despite my desperate longing for Jake, seeing the pained look on Jungwon's face when he announced he was leaving shattered my heart into pieces. I couldn't bear to be the one causing such anguish to the sweet, caring man who had loved me so devotedly for years.

"Wait, Jake!" I called out on impulse, pulling away from Jungwon's embrace. Jake paused and turned back towards me slowly, hope in his expression.

Up close, the intensity sizzling between us was overwhelming. I could see the muscles in Jake's chiseled jaw twitching as he clenched it tightly. His eyes roamed hungrily over my face and figure before locking onto mine with a look that scorched me to my core.

"Don't go," I whispered, my voice trembling as I took an unconscious step closer to him. The air itself seemed to crackle with electricity. "Jungwon needs you here" I begged.

He quietly scoffs and comes back to set his stuff back down onto his unofficially assigned patch of grass. Jake jerked his head ever so slightly, signaling for me to follow him inside the house. My heart pounding, I hesitated for only a split second before rising to my feet. Jungwon's brow furrowed in confusion as he reached for my hand, but I gently shook my head.

"I...I'm going to run to the restroom," I murmured shakily, unable to meet Jungwon's caring gaze.

Jake turned on his heel and headed inside without another word or backward glance. I numbly trailed after him, throwing one last remorseful look at Jungwon's face over my shoulder, blowing a kiss.

The kitchen was dark and quiet when I entered. Before I could call out Jake's name, his powerful arms encircled me from behind. He crushed me back against the rigid wall of his chest as his nose trailed searing kisses along the sensitive skin below my ear.

"Jake...we can't..." I whimpered in protest, even as my treacherous body arched back against him instinctively.

"Shh," he husked, his hot breath washing over my neck and sending delicious shivers through me. "You know how long I've wanted this...how long I've wanted you."

All rational thought flew out the window as Jake's large hands roamed possessively over my body. I bit back a moan, feeling utterly intoxicated by his earthy, masculine scent overtaking me.

"Not here, we can't do this here."

Jake led me away from the kitchen and prying eyes, his large hand firmly gripping mine as we made our way down the hallway. The dimly lit hallway seemed to pulse with tension and forbidden desire. My heart was pounding so forcefully I could scarcely hear anything else.

He paused outside what I recognized as Heeseung's guest bedroom, turning to face me fully. In the shadows, his chiseled features were set in an expression of anguished longing as his molten gaze bored into me.

"I can't keep doing this," Jake rasped hoarsely, reaching up to cradle my face in his calloused palms. "Being around you but not being able to have you is tearing me apart."

I opened my mouth but I was rendered speechless as he leaned in closer, our lips a mere whisper apart.

"Tell me to stop," he said thickly. "Tell me to walk away right now and I'll respect your decision. But (Y/N)...if we cross this line there's no going back."

My breath came in ragged pants as I searched his blazing eyes desperately. I knew if I didn't end this right now, I would surely shatter Jungwon's heart into oblivion. But the magnetic pull to Jake was wildly intoxicating and impossible to resist.

So instead of uttering the words to save us both, I fisted my hands in Jake's chest and crushed my lips to his in a searing, breathless kiss. He let out a groan, instantly returning the embrace with bruising intensity as he walked me backwards into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind us.

Our lips did not part once as we made our way to the bed, trying hard not to step on anything. He layed me down gently, resting his hand under my head. His tongue exploring my mouth was something I have wanted for so long.

Jake tasted faintly of the beer he'd been drinking, but with an underlying sweetness that was just him. I inhaled his familiar scent surrounding me. The smell and taste of Jake on my senses was intoxicating.

When he sucked my lower lip into his mouth, a breathy moan escaped my throat. Jake's hand slid up under my shirt, caressing the bare skin of my lower back. I arched against him at his smoldering touch.

I lost all sense of time and place, consumed entirely by the passion of Jake's insistent kisses and wandering hands. I never wanted this feeling of blissful oblivion to end.

I could feel his cock slowly growing the longer our lips stayed together, putting pressure on my pussy. I could already feel the tension building up.

My hands explored the ridges of Jake's back muscles as our kisses became even more hungry and frantic. I ground shamelessly against him, craving friction.

Jake's scorching lips left a trail of open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I tilted my head back, giving him better access. When his teeth grazed that sensitive spot where my neck and shoulder meet, I cried out in pleasure.

"Jake, please..." I heard myself beg breathlessly between his searing kisses. I ached for him with an intensity I'd never experienced before. My entire body was on fire, every nerve ending acutely sensitized to Jake's expert touch.

"Please what" he teased, making me use my words.

"Please touch me"

He slowly grinds his clothed cock over the mid seam of my shorts, making my legs tense up. "I've barely started sweetheart" he smirks. He tugs at the bottom of my shirt, signaling that he wants it off now. I lift my hands above my head as he slides it off, exposing my bare breasts since I was not wearing a bra.

He instantly grabs one of them and puts my hard nipple into his mouth, pinching the other one with his thumb and pointer. His tongue swirls around as I lay there, unable to formulate any words.

His free hand trails slowly down my stomach, past the waist band of my shorts. He fingers slip into my panties and onto my pussy, spreading the collected wetness all around clit and moved his fingers in soft circles. He slides his fingers between my folds as I grip his hair tightly, as a sign to show him how well he is doing.

He pulls his mouth away from my chest and wraps his fingers inside my waist band. I straighten my legs and he pulls my shorts straight off, taking my panties with it.

"You look so much better than I imagined" the words fell from his lips.

I lean up to unbuckle his belt, his hard cock begging to be released. I throw the belt to the side and unzip his pants. His sick springs out. It is a lot thicker than I imagined, veins peeking up the sides to his tip, with precum collected at the top.

"So big, I don't know if I will be able to take it" I teased.

"I will make you take it." he corrected.

His sudden change in demeanor made me even more wet. Jungwon was always soft and gentle, which is fine. But I want to be thrown around and used.

He leans back down with his head between my thighs. His tongue prances across my clit and in my hole. He switched between sucking and kissing my clit passionately. He slid two of his fingers into my pussy, curving them up for my maximum pleasure.

"You taste so sweet, I could do this for hours" he said with lust reflecting in his eyes. All I could do was moan at the sight of my boyfriends best friend between my legs.

I grip his hair a little harder and tense my legs, signaling that I am getting closer. "Jake... I-I'm about to" I say with a trembling voice. He takes his fingers out and pulls his head away. I let out a huge breath at the sudden emptiness and the feeling of cold air hit my clit.

"Not yet" he said sternly.

He grabs his member and strokes it a few times before gliding it across my wet folds. "Do you want me to grab a condom?" He asked. "No, I want to feel you"

He smirks "That's my good girl" he says before sliding it in, moving slowly for me to adjust to the brand new size. He goes all the way in and waits for me to get comfortable. I wince at the pain a little but as soon as I told him to keep going, all of the pain turned into pleasure in an instant.

He strokes in and out while concealing his lower lip behind his top teeth.

  "God baby you're so wet, all for me" he growled in my ear.

He took out his member and rubbed it against my clit. Little whimpers escaped my mouth. He put my leg down and grabbed both of my hips and realigned himself, practically wasting no to whatsoever. He rammed himself into me without a warning, making me gasp.

"Yeah that's right, take it like the whore you are" he says angrily. His hand trails up my body and snakes around my throat, not tight enough for me to not breathe, but definitely tight enough for my eyes to roll to the back of my head.

"It f-feels so good, Jakey" I said naturally. Using my hips for stability, he pushed himself in and out of me at a faster pace. The scent of sex filled the room as well as the sound of our skin slapping against each other. He were hardly able to keep his moans back. He leaned down to my ear to make sure I could hear him, and nibbled on my ear to tease me.

       "You hear that, that's what you do to me. getting me all needy like this." he whispered. I couldn't even form a response, all I could say was "R-right there."

He sped up the pace, sending chills up and down my spine.

       "Your pussy feels so good wrapped around my cock like that. It fits so perfectly, like you belong to me, you're my cockslut " He praised. I whimpered. His mind went fuzzy at the feeling of my pussy sucking him back in every time he pulls out.

     He flipped me over on my stomach, making me go up on all fours. He slapped my ass so hard it left a huge red hand print, stinging with pain. He slides his cock back into me at an ungodly pace.

    " I have been wanting this for so. fucking. long" he pleaded, matching his stroke pace with his words. I mumble out a "me too" before he grabs a hand full of my hair and slams my face into the mattress.

He gets closer to my ear and says" I know, you are such a whore, practically begging for my cock deep inside you when you already have a boy friend"

I clench when his words hit my ears."But he would never be able to fuck you like I do, would he?" he says rhetorically. I still answer "No he couldn't, daddy" I say with the sheets muffling my voice. My eyes are leaving wet spots on the bed from how much pleasure he is giving me. I moan out loudly "Harder please"

"That's what I thought, bitch" he says, going in harder and repeatedly hitting my sweet spot.

I can feel his cock start to twitch inside of my as I can feel the knot in my stomach about to snap. "Jakey, I'm about to c-cum" I cry out.

"Me too baby" he groans loudly, releasing his seed inside of me. Painting my gummy walls white with his warm liquid. I can feel it dripping out of my cunt after he pulls it out.

We are both panting as we try to catch out breaths. He flips me back over and gives me a kiss before grabbing a rag from the guest bathroom. "You did so well for me, baby"

"Let's get you cleaned up, princess" and says. He wipes off the sheets as well me and himself. We put out clothes back on quickly and the throws the rag into the trash.

We rushed our way down the hallway and tried to act like nothing happened. By the time we made our way back out to the bonfire, Jungwon knew something was suspicious.

"What the fuck Jake" Jungwon yells, getting up from his seat.

"What" Jake said confused

"If you are going to go behind my back and fuck my girl, atleast try to be less obvious about it."

After the initial shock and confrontation, Jake and I knew we had to try to make things right with Jungwon. We begged for his forgiveness, coming up with a flimsy excuse in hopes he would understand.

"Jungwon, please, you have to listen to us," Jake pleaded as we caught up with him outside. "It was just a stupid drunken mistake. We weren't thinking clearly."

Jungwon whirled around, eyes blazing with hurt and fury. "A mistake? You slept with my girlfriend behind my back! With me here!"

I grabbed his arm, tears streaming down my face. "I'm so sorry, Jungwon. You have to believe me, it meant nothing. We were just wasted and got carried away."

"Yeah, one minute we were joking around, and the next...well, you know," Jake said, unable to meet Jungwon's gaze.

Jungwon shook his head in disbelief. "That's no excuse! You took advantage of the situation. You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"I know, I know," Jake replied miserably. "I have no idea what I was thinking. The alcohol just brought out the worst in me. It'll never happen again."

I nodded fervently. "Jungwon, you have to understand how incredibly sorry I am. What Jake and I did was unforgivable. But you mean everything to me."

"I trusted you both more than anyone," Jungwon said, pure devastation in his voice.

"We know," I replied through choked sobs. "And we'll spend forever trying to make it up to you if you'll give us another chance. Please Jungwon, I love you so much."

Jake joined in pleading. "I cherish your friendship more than anything, man. I'll do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness."

Jungwon just stared at us, face hardening. "I don't know if I can get past this. You need to give me some space."

Though his words crushed me, I knew Jungwon had every right to feel that way. Jake and I had shattered his world with our reckless actions. All we could do was beg forgiveness and pray that someday, somehow, he could find it in his heart to forgive us.

[redsaurrce]

LOVE SHOT - TEASER

synopsis 💉 Where jk becomes the part of an experiment where he wasn't supposed to take the love shot but ends up taking it in high dose and gets obsessed with yn by mistake

pairing 💉 YANDERE Scientist!jeon jungkook x Scientist!fem reader

genre 💉 scientist!au , main fic contains HEAVY smut (minors DNI)

teaser word count 💉 1,580

warnings 💉 -- of the main fic-- kissing, profanity, jungkook is horny AF, cumming, overstimulation, fingering, cock warming, bathroom sex, BDSM, unhealthy obsession, hella possesive, jungkook whines like a fucking loser, he's in need of too much touch, boobplay, nippleplay, neck biting, manipulative man in da household y'all- like is it his fault?? huh??

💞Doses to be prescribed everyday

Dose 1 💉

Dose 2 💉

Dose 3 💉

Dose 4 💉

Dose 5

taglist 💉 @aajjks @effielumiere @dearsullix @canarystwin @yourslut16 @imwithurmother @perfectlyfangirling @pnibts @bloodline1632 @hopeonysus @roundedreluv12 @jub-jub @maqsxi @kooscameras @jungkooksleftbigtoe13 @thatblena @yawnyanii @viridiphile @milkxgukk @outro-kook @puppiliciouslove @mata0-0mata @pk-jimin @jungchanie @ziraspells @twisted-loved @lunaofsun @inlovewithallmusic @sassyfoxunknown @teugiie @hsaranghoe @jjhmk @mryuyux @xxoverthinkerxx @fandems @hollyverday @ohmygodddsblog @fly-on-the-wall @lookformyvoice @slutforwwh @shakashakaa @meikoo @emochicksasukeee @dearly-somber

@mymomsaid-no @madnesstaking0ver @miyoung23 @outofst1le @jiminstreble @kanvis @k3lynn @imagine-this-motherfucker @dontcallmeelle @jkbabiey @1-in-abillion @bangmechanpls @uarmyhore @devils-blackrose @hrndez2008 @azur3s @erennjim @cherryunie @vynmin @fragmentof-indifference (dm/ comment/ send an ask to be tagged)

"Divorce cases are increasing at an alarming rate among Koreans, young adults are facing heartbreak more than often. Love is no more in the air, it's the gloomy winds that are gushing past us." You stopped reading the newspaper and sighed, "See? Even my woman is feeling wary about our relationship." The man sitting on the couch in front of you commented.

"Chief, I told you that we are almost done with the formula, we are in the testing mode now." You said while folding the newspaper and keeping it aside.

"Yeah of course, you have been saying that since a month now." Your chief said with dissatisfaction. You pursed your lips, "Please don't worry, we know the project is getting delayed but chief, you know better than us how important testing before marketing is. As soon as we are ready to launch the product, you and your wife will be the very first couple to receive our sample." You said and stood up to leave after bowing. "Yeah whatever, but be quick." He waved his hand as he dismissed you from his office.

As soon as you got out from the office, you received a notification from Instagram. Ye Jun, your high school classmate had posted a pic.

When you opened it, it was a class reunion photo with your ex and his current girlfriend in the frame, you hurriedly liked it and shut close your phone. The breakup with your ex was bitter and you spent days pondering over why he would breakup with you. "It was awful dating you. Why don't you date your career instead?" Were his words.

All the times when he was busy preparing for his Civil service examinations, you stayed by his side even though he couldn't afford to give you much time, it was understandable. But when it came to your career building, why did he become a jerk then?

Even thinking about him makes your blood boil, what is the use of making artificial love doses if one's heart wants something else? You leaned against the wall, your breakup wasn't based on fading hormones due to the increase of pollution of all sorts. Then those like you, would they be able to keep their love intact with the love shots?

Maybe not. But those who are desperate to stay in love, maybe for them the love shot can grant them their wishes. You smiled slightly at the thought.

Ah! You almost forgot to check the testing that was going on in the lab so you thought of going back to the headquarters.

--

Meanwhile in the lab, scientist Jeon Jungkook and his assistant, Gi Shin-won were running the test.

The test include providing the subject a dose of love shot and made them look at the opposite gender or same if necessary. The shot only works under two conditions,

The first person they look at after taking the love shot will be the one they'll feel the feelings of love unravel.

Normally works better if they have feelings of infatuation or affection even in the slightest towards the person they're looking at.

for the shot to stay affective, they need to take it every fourteen days and once the relationship has been mended, they can stop taking it and their relationship will continue on the virtue of their true feelings.

As Jungkook and his assistant noted the observation, one of the female subjects raised her hand. "Yes how may I help you?" Jungkook asked.

"Uhm.. as you can see that we've already signed the contract where it says that the experiment we are taking part in, is entirely under our willingness and if anything goes wrong then you guys won't be held responsible. I know I shouldn't question this as I willfully signed the consent papers but .. still I'm kind of worried, you see?"

He nodded, "I completely understand your concern mam, the thing is the moment we are done taking the observations, we're also providing everyone with antidotes of this shot, so if you're worried about falling in love with a stranger, it will only last a few hours and then the symptoms will wear off with our antidote." He reassured.

"Uh.. I know that. Well, yesterday one of my friends took it and said that she felt hot and all, I'm actually worried because I have a child to take care of so..." She trailed off in doubt.

"Ah? So that is what was concerning you? You thought this might be fatal?" He asked with curiosity. "No no no.. I mean.." "it's okay, I get it. Wait let me then try it on, when we said that we have put our blood, sweat and tears in it, we weren't kidding." He chuckled as he sat down on the chair where the subjects for experiment were supposed to sit on.

He opened his lab coat and folded up the sleeves of his shirt exposing his forearm to take the injection, "Shin-won please inject the shot." He requested.

His assistant gulped, "But you were supposed to observe?"

"It's alright, I can just take the antidote and Y/N will be here soon so she will continue the observation along with you." He said with a confident smile as he closed his eyes.

Shin-won slowly nodded as he thought of giving in to his pleas, he connected the wires to Jungkook's scalp and then picked up a syringe and injected 5ml of the love shot in his arm. Then an attractive lady walked in front of him and Shin-won told him to open his eyes, when Jungkook looked at the said lady, he felt nothing, the brain waves also saw no change as Shin-won looked at the monitor.

Which was normal, usually when the subject shows no change in his hormones, another person is shown to them. If no real life person catches their attention then they are shown the photos of celebrities.

Because who doesnt have celebrity crushes?

So another lady appeared in front of him, still no change. This kept going until the sixth person he saw. Shin-won sighed, "Do you by-chance have any celebrity crushes or someone you have as a girlfriend slash boyfriend slash crush?" He asked.

"I don't." He gulped as he lied, he had his biggest and fattest crush on you.

But how could he take your name as his crush and practically reveal it to everyone thus blowing his chance off even before he could do anything? Shin-won was a loud mouth afterall.

He continued, "How about you increase the dose by 5 ml? It worked at 10ml in case of subject 067 right?" He asked. Shin-won raised his eyebrows, "nice memory huh? Wait then let me inject another 5ml. Close your eyes." And Jungkook closed his eyes as his assistant prepared a fresh syringe.

"There! Now open your eyes." He instructed.

In much disappointment, he still showed no hormonal changes, Shin-won clicked his tongue in frustration, "Are scientists supposed to be extra immune or what?" He gritted his teeth but just then he got an idea.

He unlocked his phone and searched for racy pics of Hollywood celebrities, "What about this?" Shin-won suddenly flashed the pic in front of Jungkook and Jungkook immediately gasped while closing his eyes in reflex, "remove that from my face you brat!"

Shin-won removed his phone with a defeated face, "at least this should have worked for you."

Jungkook opened his eyes and looked at him in disbelief, "Do you take me for a horny teenager or something? Nudes of white women? Seriously?" He raised his eyebrows, only if the wires weren't still connected he would've smacked his assistant.

Jungkook bit his lower lip, "Give me another 5ml." He commanded.

Shin-won's eyes became wide, "What? No way! No subject has ever taken this dose above 10 ml!" Jungkook shook his head, "Then let me be that subject alright? Hurry up now." He said as he shifted in his seat comfortably and closed his eyes.

"I'll be getting killed tonight by Y/N." He said while arranging a new syringe. "I'm sure she'll understand me, afterall we need to distribute to all sorts of people, who knows how much is a lot? Maybe through me, you all will find out?" He said with his eyes still closed.

"We are already 3 times above the safe limit, are you sure?" He asked Jungkook for the last time while pointing the injection towards his arm.

"Yes ofcourse, we need to also know how much antidote should be taken to counteract the effects of such a large portion of this dose." He answered.

"Fine." His assistant said and finally injected the shot.

Just then you entered the lab and got surprised as you saw Jungkook on the subject's seat, "What the hell?" You looked at them in shock. Jungkook involuntarily opened his eyes to look at you and Shin-won looked at you as well. But just when he was about to explain to you, a beep sound shifted all three of yours attention towards the screen.

The hormonal change graph was steepingly rising and Shin-won started to panic and started searching for the antidote while Jungkook started feeling hotter with each passing second. You quickly ran over towards him and disconnected all the wires. Just as you went near the monitor, you heard a large thud from behind.

Your eyes went wide as you saw Jungkook's collapsed body on the ground.

The last words he heard before going blank were his name being called repeatedly in your muffled voice slowly fading out.

--x

To be continued...

DOSE 1

[thementalshawty]

PAC The Aura You Give Off

HAYLOWWWWWWW welcome back lol I’m here with a quick PAC cos we’re almost there to 2000 followers oooop our tarot event is near!!! So to celebrate my 1985 followers huh isn’t that a Taylor Swift album? 🤔 anyways I’m here to let you guys know and see what kind of vibes you give off. I feel A lot of you like anime! I was pulled to anime images for this PAC and you guys know I do emojis. I also feel Red, Blue,Teal, & Purple are inportant to some of you or are actually the color of some of your auras they can be your favorite colors too maybe that’s how you should choose your pile? Some of you I heard!! Anyways let’s get this going you know this is a GENERAL reading take what resonated and the let the rest ROLL off it’s for someone else!!! Okay bitches let’s fuccin GOOOOOOOOOOO

Pile I

Yo this is deep and intense, I feel that’s the vibe you give off. You give off a death and resurrection vibes, the beginning and end the alpha and omegas I feel like there is plutonic energy about you guys, very scorpionic vibes. Some of you like black or are night owls. I get tortured soul vibes from you, very grungy. But so upbeat positive, unique, rare and goofy it’s like a goth singing 1000 miles by Vanessa Carlton I’m getting those vibes, pink and black vibes. You guys have been through so much shit! You guys give off defeated but thugging through with a smile vibe, happy go lucky. Sunshine on a rainy day I heard. You guys are a cloudy day but it’s still sunny. Very uranian energy too, you guys stand out and I feel you guys suffer for it. Very fun and outspoken. Outgoing! Risk takers and that’s gotten you guys into some deep trouble but you rose out of it! You guys give off soldier through war ptsd fighting for a happy ending vibes some of you have fake it til you make it vibes. Some of you. People see that you’re a warrior who’s been defeated but you’re not afraid of starting over from 0. The baddest period. Some of you may have sun in Gemini ♊️ which means happy birthdays gem babies!!! You’re unique be you and don’t worry about the pain you are the happy go lucky baby you will be ok!! You’re very strong you’ve died and came back so many times the transformations you’ve went through are endless.

Pile II

Ooof! So this pile gives off selfish bitchery vibes, you guys seem so motherly, maternal, paternal, parental, loving. Very caring and sweet but I think you give off insincere vibes like you have to give something to get something from you. I also feel people feel like some of you are players or that you’re heartbreakers, you’re very helpful I feel but people may be reluctant to take your help? Some of you may be Taurus moons?? You like money, luxury, having things, people can assume you’re bougie or stuck up!! You are very careful with who you help, again this is why people may assume the worst about you. You guys are very grounded and earthlyd. I feel like you guys have a lot and you worked for that shit! A lot of you are self made and I heard jealous! They are very fucking jealous of you! Your whole vibe and energy shit what you got too! Even if you don’t physically or materially have a lot. They want what you got, you just have it! youre the it boys/girls/its/thems! You got a lot of haters ! People try to make you guys out to be “better than them”. Idgaf that’s cos you are! You’re regal 👸🏽 🤴🏽 👑. They can’t take you and I feel like you guys defend yourself! You guys are hella motivational too you wanna see your people succeed & make it. You’re a cheerleader cos you clawed your way and fought tooth and nail I heard to make it happen for you and I am all happy for you guys I’m rooting for y’all to keep going fuck the haters and the ones that have negative thoughts Ik know getting the vibe of this guarded energy that people are mistaking for selfishness and that’s on them. Some of your guides are talking and they have attitude and I’m here for it! They don’t play about you and I think it’s cos they know what you had to go through to have what you have so protect that shit with everything regardless of how little or how much you think you have. You have a lot! I love this vibe p2. You are tight as fucc. I love you! Stay true and even if you’re bougie stay having high standards! Stay classy

Pile III

So this pile is a little sad, you guys give sad boy/girl/them vibes. It seems like you guys are very sentimental but you give off the vibe of being stuck in nostalgia if that makes sense. You can be the ones that still wear 90’s style clothes or listen to that music. lol I’m hearing still trying to make fetch work so maybe some of you like mean girls. Gretchen wieners I think her name was right? anyways you guys give off that vibe of being trapped when you’re not really trapped. You guys get into your head a lot! Some of you maybe Scorpio suns and Gemini Jupiters it can even be vice versa. I’m seeing that you’re over-thinkers and when you start thinking bout old times you can travel way back into your memories. Jupiter has to do with expansion and Gemini is mercurial mental energy so I feel like with that you guys are the biggest over-thinkers of this reading! You guys can stretch a thought for miles long! I feel like you’re hella intelligent too! You’re intense and you’re giving, romantic, sweet. You make everyone feel like they’ve met you somewhere before. You give have familiarity vibes. It’s just so easy with you I feel you can make others feel at ease and hella comfortable with you. Your aura and vibe is homely very warm like similar to p2 but more humbling. You’re generous. Kind. I feel like your aura is kind of trapped in a happy dream vibes. I heard happyland? I feel you guys are emotionally invested in your happy memories and good times. I feel in a past life you were trapped in some way. I also think you give off the vibe of being trapped so maybe some of you jail? I’m thinking that a lot of you think you’re deeper shit than you are, a lot of you feel like you’re trapped and you’re truly not. You just have to be grateful for those memories and create more, maybe you’re afraid to leave that happy space but there is a world beyond those happy memories! You’ll be surrounded by so much more happiness creating present love and happiness for yourself!

Pile IV

Okay! So I’m seeing that some of you may be some Aries sun and mercury Virgos. My roasters of this entire reading! You know how to read a bitch down hunny! I’m seeing that you are a wholesome and fulfilled person, who doesn’t rush, you know the value of working hard and waiting for your fruits to grow and ripen. Very family oriented. You know who you are and what you want which is why you don’t rush shit, you know that what’s for you is going to be yours regardless. I feel like this pile here is very humble and confident at the same time! You have a deep balance about you, very passionate yet grounded so you’re not all over the place, it’s controlled. Your circle is little and means the world to you. You are a legacy or you’ll leave behind a legacy honestly! Powerful and passionate energy. I also feel like you know how to manifest this pile gives me magician vibes, you know how to create physical and material things from energy. You’re a great friend; a great hang and a wonderful time. You are amazing and magical, you’re wealth, a lot of you may have wealth or are destined for it, material wealth. You are in charge, you are the boss if there’s a CEO you’re the boss of them; you know what you want and you accept only that nothing less than the best for you. I’m so glad that you have that self love! You’re a leader meant to rule, you give off big boss captain energy. You are meant to have lots of people following your rules or journey maybe admirers? Followers maybe online? I get this vibe that you’re that fighter who never stops punching even when they’re on the ground, you’ve never lost a battle. You’re a champion!

WELP! That’s it guys that’s all! I’m so happy that I can share this cool reading with you guys! Should I do more personal readings like this! I hope that it resonated with you guys and for my patreon group please get your questions in before may ends thank you!

[omegalomania]

the full apple music interview with zane lowe is out! we got snippets of it when love from the other side dropped, but they finally rolled out the full thing. here are some highlights that stood out to me :)

patrick describes pete's lyrics as what gets him out of bed in the morning. if pete doesn't send him lyrics, he doesn't write a song.

andy and pete used to draw fake snake tattoos on each other using magic markers as kids omg?

so evidently patrick was the one who got covid during hella mega tour. and he hated it and he was miserable and that's when he called neal avron about the new record lmao

patrick says that joe was hesitant at first and he was the one who said that for this record he wanted to make something that they could all savor and spend time on and patrick was immediately on board with that

pete says patrick's job is to interpret him because pete calls his mentality a "little bit off" but patrick is capable of understanding him and translating it

patrick describes his and pete's creative relationship as "twin speak." it's not linear and it's like living in his brain a little bit. he calls it the "weirdest thing i've ever seen" when pete can just Tell that some words that patrick adjusted weren't ones he wrote despite not remembering writing them. patrick says he's gotten better at connective tissue and knowing how pete would say things

pete: back in the day patrick was like, "what's the difference between cry and weep i will KILL YOU. THEY'RE THE SAME THING. I'M GONNA KILL YOU RIGHT NOW."

zane says patrick's vocals are next level for this album. pete agrees that he kills it on this album and said he never would've expected that voice coming from him when they first met. zane says patrick could sing a recipe and it would be good. he then passes patrick a recipe and patrick. sings it???

patrick: i'm not gonna belt it. (starts belting) NINE INCH PIE PLATE ROLLING PIN

patrick says that pete doesn't mean to have rhythm to his words but there's a rhythm to them all the same and patrick can find this syncopation in his words and thinks it's amazing

more talking about patrick and pete's Magical Mystical Transcendent Soul Bond. patrick says "if we were one guy, we'd be an INCREDIBLE DUDE"

patrick and pete say that interviews with all four of them are hard because it's chaos and everyone's talking at once but it all makes perfect sense to them and no one else. zane says that sounds like fun flkjdfd [i agree please do this more it's a joy]

pete says joe really stepped up and wrote a lot for this record!

patrick: "joe is kind of a conundrum because he's this really talented...he's a brilliant writer, a brilliant player, but pete and i became the "team" and it wasn't really a plan, but that's just kind of how it happened. [brief tangent about the hiatus] we come back from the thing and joe is this fully-formed writer with a very distinct - he has one of the most distinctive writing voices. when i hear his parts, when i hear his ideas, i could pick them out of a crowd. like i know the way joe writes, and it's VERY joe." part of the process with post-hiatus was integrating him into the writing process more.

discussing the hiatus and fame and pete says his life kind of "blew up" and took it pretty hard. apparently during production for folie paparazzi actually broke down the gate to neal avron's house

patrick goes on a big tangent about how bad things got during the height of pete's fame. "part of my role is to tell his story. i'm a composer. that's what i like to do. i work on movies, i work on shows, and i work on pete. pete has a story that needs music, and if he's removed from himself, if he's not even able to access himself because he's behind all of this stuff, i don't have a story! so not only did i not have my buddy, which was heartbreaking in its own way, but then i also don't have a purpose as an artist."

patrick says that andy is always ready to play but when you get him happy to play, it's another level

"and trohman, there were these moments where he...he got so excited."

patrick describes writing what a time to be alive as wanting to write the saddest, most desperate song you could hear at a wedding. pete bursts into laughter and calls it "so twisted"

talking about other endeavors outside the band - patrick talks about composing and said joe's been super busy with his book and writing for tv and because there are so many deadlines for stuff like that, it's what hammered home to him that fall out boy needs to not be that. "there's something special about this that can't be...this has to be passionate and art."

discussing how scared patrick was of his own voice while the band took off. patrick was really scared of the song saturday at first because there are some really exposed vocal moments. he describes saturday as a song where everyone in the band lets each other go for it.

zane calls fall out boy the "emo blueprint" and says they were unapologetic in being emotional. patrick immediately says, "that was pete. i don't think we could've done that without him." he and joe were basically kids and patrick was too anxious to talk on stage.

zane says, "i remember interviewing you in the early days and i felt like every time i asked you a question i was bullying you." pete IMMEDIATELY loses his shit.

"in another life where i didn't have a pete...cause saturday, i did write most of that by myself...so there's a world where that song exists without the band. there's no world where i sing it in front of people without pete."

pete says every night before they put out a new song he calls patrick up and gets really scared and wants to back out and patrick talks him down every time

they talk about how scary it was when arm's race released and performing it at the amas. patrick starts laughing rly hard as they get into how there were giant crickets on stage and the crowd was just stone-faced and utterly nonresponsive and their stage manager was utterly panicked

towards the end patrick really loosens up and starts swearing more dlkfjdfd

[lansangprincess]

Heartbreak High S2E2 highlights⋆·˚ ༘ *

malakai having hella bi panic in the escape room lmfao — "I had a threesome w a guy once. not to brag but it was pretty gay 😌✨"

AMERIEMALAKAI FIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOO

i feel rlly bad for Harper. I may not have liked her that much in s1 but I have always been glad her character and storyline exists bc fcking hell do i relate

anthony vaughn the man u are. imma tackle u for sure idgaf abt pig oil

the Missy/Spider ship gets into gear bc he got distracted by her muscle mommy-ness???? INTO IT.

but still, fuck u spider incel piece of shit <3

AND FUCK YOU TOO ZOEY VICTIM-BLAMING BITCH

the ant/harper scene i want that scene tattooed on me. right next to amerie/malakai first time scene. him being a fking idiot most of the time but having the sense to stop harper from doing something she might regret (while gently reassuring her that he wants to)?? i love him i love him i love him i love him

💗detective Quinni💗 exposing Sasha for being the hypocrite we all knew her to be

idk if i like rowan that much but i love malakai and seeing him have bi panic constantly is so funny but it also makes me feel really bad for amerie please just tell her T^T

CA$H BABY LOOK AT ME IT'S ME CA$H PLEASE DON'T DO THIS mommy im scared (…idk why but i feel like if u showed him the duck he'd go w nan and darren…)

[silvershiningtarot]

Details About Your Life-Partner 18+

🩷These Are Details about your Partner Or Crush. However, you take it and remember this is a general reading. You are responsible for your own decision and I'm just giving you my opinion. These are all four piles about your Partners. Enjoy reading. What take resonates and leaves the rest.✨ where your Partner Originated from as Starseeds.

Pile 1 💋

•They have their solo mission on this earth. It is Your Partner's birthright to be wealthy, famous, and have a mad abundance. They are Blue Ray Starseed or Andromedan Starseed.No longer in union with someone else. They are moving forward. They have a strong sense of humor. Probably into BDSM. Your Partner is Dominant. They are self-aware of themselves and others around them. Or they are working hard to look out for signs from their guides. They are the CEO of their company. I think they like to wear suits. Very smart. They are loyal and very honest they are. Protective, and Dominant. I heard some of y'all partners are a beast. I mean a BEAST! Not their appearance but their aura is very beast-type. Like I heard that they would be your monster. Tatted up! Some of y'all partners tatted up from head to toe. Or neck to feet. They are an old soul. Very in tune with their self. I think some of y'all partners are into Kemetic religion or interested in Kemetic. They have brown eyes or green eyes. But they are very handsome men. Or pretty boy. I think some of them are gangsters. I think they like wearing suits. Yes, your partner is a Soulmate! Ending a lot of cycles. Rebirth themselves. I heard they going through a tower moment. Their love language is Physical touch or Acts Of Service. They are wounded still I think they just got out of a bad relationship. They are a fighter. I heard they are a sucker for love. But that doesn't mean they aren't stupid. They are hella passionate. They know to rock your world upside down. They are your star-crossed lover and also they are your soul family. Or you are part of their soul tribe. They feel right now lack of energy 🔋. Cuz of this heartbreak. I heard “ I'm waking up.” They are waking up. Again, you are their romantic soulmate. Or they are looking for their soulmate. They are probably in college or going back to college. They do have a fast lifestyle. They are animated very goofy they are. They'll make you laugh. They'll make their friends laugh. Again, High-Vibe Soulmate! They are high-vibe soulmates. So they feel like something is missing their whole life. Your Partner is an old man. Not like grandpa-looking but I'm getting a sense not far apart from you. Like the mid-30s or Early 30s. That's what I'm sensing. Or some of y'all partners can be sugar daddies. They've made mistakes before in their lives. I think they regret it. They are a homebody. Very chill-back type of person. I won't go any further than this but they have Father Issues. I heard Mother issues too. But that's something about y'all life partner. Again, your partner is a Fighter. They'll chase after you if they are with you. They'll worship you. Haha 😂 Very dominant they are for real. They are a flirt and don't like drama. Very curious they are. They are a bad boy! Like to start shit. Just for the fun of it. They don't like toxic drama but healthy drama that's a little messy. That's how they are. Toxic family 👪. They have a toxic family member or siblings Or friends they consider family. (clear throat) Here's the sexual part of them. They love to caress their partner. So if you are with them. They'll slowly caress you. Some of them do ritual sex. Like they have to have sex under the moon. When the moon is out like I heard around solar eclipses. They'll do their ritual sex with you. The intense passion they are. I sense that can be a Scorpio or Virgo, or Gemini. Or Aquarius ♒. Either way, when they have sex it is very intense. Bust in their pants. Woah, well they bust quickly. Told you that passionate sex! Steamy sex, Shower Love Making, and they are great at eating pussy! Probably good with their tongue 😝. Rose petals 🌹. Very romantic they are and they have a big dick! I mean BIG DICK. That's DEVIL DICK! They got. So probably got grit dick. Woo 😯. They are transparent at times or they have people around them who are transparent like they can see through their friend's bullshit. They've been through a lot of people who gave them mixed signals and hidden feelings. I'm hearing that song by August Alsina-Never Fold.

They are showing off! They like to show off their shit. In a good way and even a bad way too. So they aren't afraid to show off their feelings to someone. I think one of their exes did that to them. Again, coming to the end of their relationship and they are accepting what happened to them. Purging out what happened to them. They are quick to call out other people's bullshit. But they are very emotionally supportive people. They hate when people cry in front of them. They are a diva too. They would want or manifest a fairytale relationship. They consider themselves a prince that's looking for their princess so they can sweep her off her feet😝. They believe in Love At First Sight. And they'll do anything to make their Princess happy. I believe they hide that part of themselves. Because they believe in fairytales or would want that. Feels that part of his feminine side has been shut down and lost. But they are a Fighter! I told you that they are a warrior. Their masculine side is well-balanced. Dealt with a lot of toxic connections in their lives. They love to give people chances. Especially, second chances. “I know what's it like to be on the other side of the road. Feeling all alone and afraid.” that's what I heard. Again, they have a lot of very revengeful enemies. But don't get twisted. Your partner is the type to cut off people quickly. Sometimes if they love their friends or family it is hard for them. I told you they would want that happy ending.

Pile 2 🙊

•They are Lightworkers or Arcturian Starseed. They are born leaders 👑 they are great manifestors. They are a God! I heard Head Master they are. Wow! Powerful partner you guys have. They are a God in human Form. They are meant to help the Earth and spread love to the world. They are highly rebellious. They don't like to be told what to do! They don't like the rules or how these laws are in the world. Okay, I got two separate things here. So both you and your partner are soulmates and both of you are starseeds. You two have a collective mission. Y'all meant to find each other in this life. Most of you and your partner are Twin Flame 🔥 and you two have a dual mission together. It is very strong and powerful. So good to y'all. They can be an earth sign: Capricorn, Virgo, or Taurus. Very perfectionists they are or they can have those signs as their moon signs. But very ambitious they are. Grounded too. I heard humble too. They have an ex-friend probably a stalker or obsessive with them. Yikes 😬. This friend of theirs is very intrusive. They are friendly. I think your partner is dorky. People consider them dorky like corny. But they don't care that's what makes them happy about themselves. Or they can be geeky too. But they are charming and love making cheesy jokes. They are a babbler. They love to communicate. They would want to debate with you, and they would want to pick your brain out. Sometimes they can be smartass. Their favorite season is summer or they probably like summer ☀️. I heard Because they wanna show off their body a lot. Haha 😂. Partner got kids or would want kids of their own. They broke up with their ex or again, and they have a baby mama. Sorry 💔. But some of y'all partners have a haircut short, short braids, waves, or they just have an extraordinary hairstyle. They are the CEO of their company and a very hard-working businessman. You'll be a workaholic wife to them. They would want a submissive woman or they are very submissive themselves. But I kinda doubt that. They would love someone that would cherish their love. You'll make a player fall in love with you. I think they are a player. They fuck around with plenty of other women. I can get a sense that some of you have a player that will fall for you. Haha 😂 they are a gangster that falls in love with a good girl. I think that is what they would want. Honestly, I feel that this friend who's obsessed with your partner it's a close friend. Partner is always horny😊. Now, your partner got a monster dick! That's mean it is big! Or they are a monster in bed. They got some sexy kinks. I heard it is extreme. I think breeding kinks is one of them. They are an ass-grabber. They love grabbing ass, not just any random ass but your ass while in bed. Lol. They like to surprise their partners in bed and they like to spit in your mouth or they would like for you to spit in their mouth. Moans turn them on. Boss Daddy, Dominant Man, and Chest Lover! So this partner loves your chest likes your boobs or they like your chest. They are very dominant. Damn! They are a Daddy! I mean Daddy! But they are also a romantic lover. When they have sex with someone they wanna have a close bond with their partners. Ball gags.👐🏾💋🌹 I think this partner likes everything. They want to be ball gags or they would want to be ball gagging someone. You are their romantic soulmates. So you are one of their romantic soulmates. They dealt with a lot of false twin flames 🔥 oh I heard that they are dealing with one right now. So they are dealing with a false twin right now. So your twin is dealing with a false twin. They are animated as hell. I don't think your life partner doesn't know how to be serious they always choking around. They would want to worship someone. But I think they are worshipping this false twin. Boo! But I think that they are such a great storyteller. 🌹✨🔥. But I feel like once they meet you, you are their beloved. Maybe, your life partner has a song called Beloved. But that's a song I've heard in my head. They get so drained it is exhausting for them.

They like to have sex in the kitchen 🍴. Yes, your life partner is a celebrity but that's for some of you. Not all of you but some of you and I'm hearing another song by this partner. This song I heard in my head. Ahhh! Yes, this is your soulmate/twin flame or whatever you wanna you make it to be that's up to you. Both of you are each other's perfect match and they are a social butterfly 👐🏾. They love to talk. I think that they are outside the box. You two have a past life connection.

Pile 3 🍪:

•That's the song I've heard from them. I sense that their star family is trying to communicate with them but they aren't paying them any attention. So If I have to guess that your partner is around the same age as you. For some of you, I sense that your partner is an Indigo Starseed, Crystal, or a Rainbow child Starseed. So I think some of the partners were born in the 1950s to ’80s but I'm getting more like 1980s. But they love helping the earth. I'm getting the page of swords for this pile. Oh yeah, they can be a Feline & Lyran Starseed. That's why I feel that some of y'all partners are older than you. Or they can be young too but very mature they are. They believe in destiny. I feel that they believe in the divine union too. So I think that you are coming in soon. I heard them say “Everything that meant to happen for a reason.” they don't like to rush anything. They don't mind being patient. They like quickies. They love to have sex on the beach and I think they enjoy the BDSM lifestyle or they would want to join the BDSM community. Hahaha 🤤🤤they would break all their rules for you. What I mean by that is they have standards and values about themself they'll break if they have some bad friend who isn't good for them. This reminds me of pile 1 so they have an ex-friend or this friend is about to be an ex. They are very intrusive. Jealous, and have stalker vibes I'm getting from that friend. Anyways, they are very handsome and they live a fast lifestyle. But your partner is a feminist or I think that they are your divine Feminine. They are friendly and communicative they are. But I think that they are true. Very feminine. But they have their masculinity. Very balanced they are or trying to be. They are a fighter as well. I think that they would want a Dommy! Meaning that they would want a dominant woman/man to dominate them. Right now I think they are feeling drained because of this close friend. Yikes 😬😬. I am sorry for them. They would want to kiss all over your body. Lol, they like to have sex a lot. I think that they'll confess their feelings for you. They like to have sex in the bathroom. Again, probably into BDSM Lifestyle. They are surrounded by energy vampires 🧛 that's not good at all with them. Very dark energies. They are entertainers in the bedroom! Ha ha but no they are entertainers. They can be a stripper or they know how to move their body. That's the song I've heard in my head. They are your High-Vibe Soulmate. Yes, your life partner is older than you. They feel that something is missing in their life. They know to break it down. Like seriously, they love having sex. Horny dog. Ritual sex, airplane sex and yes they are passionate too. So when they have sex it is with feeling. They'll give you the best of both worlds. Maybe, if you are on your period or whatever they would want to have sex under the moon. Like on a full 🌕. They are dealing with a third-party situation that isn't for them. I think sometimes your partner can be greedy. They are self-centered and very possessive over their stuff. So basically, selfish. I think that they are going through a heartbreak right now. They are a clingy lover. What I mean by clingy it can get fucking toxic with this partner. They love phone sex and they'll handcuffs on you or they would want you to use handcuffs on them.

Pile 4 🩷:

•That’s the song I've heard in my head. Okay, now I think that your partner originated from Draconian Starseed. But I don't sense anything bad about this one. They can be power-hungry. Yikes 😬that’s why I feel like it can get toxic with them. Their star Family is trying to communicate with them but it seems like they send your partner signals in their dreams. Okay, some of y'all this is your twin flame, and you and your twin have a dual mission and also an individual mission as well. So I think that some of y'all life partners are light workers and they are here to help the world evolve. They'll need to learn to adapt and also be highly intuitive. They are a soft and gentle lover because I can see them worshipping you. Put you on a high pedestal. Wow, they are a bit of a control freak. They like things their way. That isn't good at all. You two have a soul contract with each other. You two have a spiritual bond. I believe you two are a star family as well. You two have a past life connection and I think that you guys are forever connected. Maybe, some of you grow up with your life partner as children to now. I think your partner is your mentor. I also feel they love to travel or they are travelers. I think they like to drink cocktails. I think that they like to party hard. But they know how to balance their drinking. Or they can be bartenders. They are an old soul and also very charming as well. Your partner is very devoted, honest, and loyal. I feel that they don't like cheaters. I don't like to do appearances but they probably have a short haircut, braids, or bald too. Some of y'all partners aren't in a relationship anymore. So they are moving forward with their life. I heard they are looking for their Divine Counterpart. Again, destiny. Both of you are star-crossed lovers but they are trying to find you. They have their issues with their trauma they need to heal on their own. It's a lot of trauma. They crave your desire and again, horny. But I think that right now they have flings. So they are sleeping around. Having some fling-mates. They love doing some activities like sports, spas, or anything that keeps them moving. I think they like playing sports. Tennis, Basketball, baseball, or track. I feel like they dealt with someone who lied to them and they got cheated on. They've been through a lot of self-love and self-doubt. I believe your partner has a stocking fetish. They'll confess their feelings for you and I think that they'll be turned on by your moan. Fetish kinks. Woah they have a lot of kinks. They are rough! I mean rough. I don't see any gentleness. They'll push you against the wall. Holy, fucc! They are a swallower. I was right! They are rough grabbers. They like to be surprised or they would like to surprise you in the bedroom or outside. They have this raw energy. They got a lot of sexy kinks and your partner got a MONSTER 👹 DICK🍆🍆🍆. Wow, they know how to drop it low. Dang! They are dominant men and they love to bite! I mean 😏 freaky. If y'all don't mind a threesome. I can hear them say that “Would you mind a threesome?” your partner likes to be tied up and chained ⛓️ too. I think they like to be spanked too. Some of y'all partners are soft lovers. But they are dominant too. They'll grab your fave and kiss you hard. Bon appetite! Yummy 😋 they are so freak! They know how to get their hands dirty.

[ncteez]

philoselene (k.h.j)

You weren’t sure what to think of Hongjoong, with his ever-changing hair and ever-growing piercings. He is the complete opposite of you, and you’re unsure of why he keeps gravitating toward you, or why he found an interest in you at all. Through his eyes though, he swears you’d be able to handle the weight of the moon if he were to pull it down for you.

or the one where hongjoong would do just about anything for you, and he can’t help but show it when he’s got you on top of him for the first time.

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog. 

WORDCOUNT― 6.2k

PAIRING― alt!stoner!hongjoong x afab reader 

CONTENT― some weed smoking and moon gazing happen, a little bit of them struggling to translate their thoughts into words that make sense, very fluffy stuff, he’s a little shy about his body, service top hongjoong, first time together, intensely passionate smut

NOTE― just fyi, i know the description makes it seem like the reader is insecure. I can assure you, she is not. It’s just two people learning that they fit together like a puzzle, and wanting to know each other’s thought processes. anyway, im very in love with hongjoong and that’s why I basically just wrote comfort smut. BYE. not proof read so pls dont point out my typos, ill actually cry. 

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― makeout sessions, they’re really really high so the experience is kind of slow motion, frottage, sweet-talking rather than dirty talking, brief mutual masturbation, missionary on a couch, he’s a service top but it’s not heavily described here bc like– he’s just hella into her and feels good no matter what she does, ummm, unprotected sex bc im lazy

~

             The man whose hair changes at each new moon cycle, the one who smells like winter but has the eyes of a smoldering flame spreading to a forest fire. Both his charm and his wit are entirely unmatched if anyone you’ve ever met in your life is to go by. His hands are the most gentle, and goddamn does he know how to dress to piss off the local business owners. 

           A new ear piercing for him usually meant heartbreak, be it a lost friend, a failed project, or even an incorrect lunch order at the run-down diner across town. Everything about Hongjoong is telling. He is not mysterious, nor does he want to be.

             You, on the other hand, are the complete opposite in terms of how you carry yourself. You worry too much, your posture is slouched when it shouldn’t be, your confidence wavers more often than you’d like to admit, and you keep to yourself most of the time. Minimizing yourself, snuffing out any flame or glow that threatens to show to anyone less than a close friend. You dress much like your personality, muted. 

             This is why you question the dynamic on each date you end up on with Hongjoong. Dinner dates, movie dates, walks in the park. Normal. fucking. dates. The dynamic between the two of you is anything but natural to you. Time after time now, seeing him after sunset looking at you much like he would if he were seeking out constellations, you feel like you’re not a person meant to be looked at this way. You’ll never get used to another person wanting to spend this time with you, like they’re finding comfort in your silence. What do you have that seems to fulfill him? 

             Even now, six hours after the date started, you find yourself next to Hongjoong and his bright smile. The small rolled joint burned out minutes ago, and the dull city skyline bursts with pinks and purples from the sunset.  His smile is one that is entirely soft and focused on you. All of his attention, on you. The one thing in the world you hate, he gives to you and makes you feel as though you don’t hate it nearly as much as you did before meeting him. 

“Hongjoong,” You whisper into the brisk air, bumping your leg against his as he tilts his chin up as if to let you know he’s listening to whatever you want to say. “This is our– what? Seventh date?” 

           He nods with a hum. 

“First time at my place though, so we can still call it a first date.” He offers, reaching his arms out and feeling the stretch of his muscles relax him.  His arms fall back to his side and his eyes fall back on you. 

           Never have you had this many first dates, nor has any man treated each date as such. 

“Why do you do that?” You laugh, slouching back against the weathered wicker couch, the balcony offering both the most wonderful and shitty view of the city. 

“Do what?” He asks, turning slightly towards you with a curious look. 

“Like, I don’t know,” you trail off, for some reason unable to look him in the eye as you continue to spiral into the slow and fuzzy high that his weed offers to you. He looks insanely attractive tonight, especially in this lighting. The colors somehow glow against his skin, contrasting with the dark and plush sweater he has on. It’s weathered much like this wicker furniture, but you imagine he’s comfortable inside of that sweater, sitting on this furniture, breathing in the same air you’re breathing out. “You always call each date the first one, I’m wondering when it’ll be, like, something more than that?”

           You can hear yourself talking and you can’t help but think you sound fucking stupid, but he chuckles in response. 

“I probably sound lame saying it but, I like that I learn something new about you each time. It’s not my fault that it always feels like a first date with you.” He laughs, making a face towards you that makes you laugh a bit louder than expected. 

“You act like I have something new and interesting to tell you every day,” He cuts you off as you try to speak.

“For instance, today I learned that you don’t even like the coffee I bring to you.” He’s snide when he says it, raising a brow at you. 

“What? Yes, I do!” You defend, definitely lying as you feel your stomach hit the concrete floor of his balcony. You’ve always been a terrible liar.

“Is that why you always leave it in my cup holder pretending like you forgot it?” 

           You narrow your eyes at him but can’t keep up the act much longer as the smile creeps wider across your lips. 

“You’re too observant of me,” You joke, not realizing how true it actually is. “You know I usually spend my days avoiding the idea of people noticing what I do, right?”

           He nods towards you, face fond and droopy from his high. 

“I think you’re cute when you notice that I notice,” he blinks away from you, watching the sun fall and the moon take its rightful spot in the sky. “Besides, if you don’t like it, you’d stop letting me take you out, right?”

           He’s actually looking for confirmation this time, not looking at you, and mostly preparing for the make-it-or-break-it moment now that you’ve finally worked up the courage to stop going with his flow. 

“I think I’m just confused over you wanting to spend time with me at all, actually.” You admit, knowing for a fact that you appear to be the most boring human alive, and not many people stick around to find the actual personality within you. 

           Hongjoong looks at you this time, genuinely shocked that you’d even say that or feel confused over why he chooses to spend time with you.

“Well, I can go down a list of reasons, if you want?”

           You prop yourself up, fixing your posture and wiggling your brows.

“Please, do.” You say, feeling a permanent smile form on your face. 

           Hongjoong claps his hands on his thighs before lifting his legs and turning on the wicker couch to face you, tucking himself into the smallest version of himself as he huddles into his oversized sweater. 

“Alright, for starters, you’re not as boring as you think you are. What person would have climbed that no-trespassing fence with me without asking a single question?” 

           He’s just gloating at you now. Most people would absolutely do that with him. 

“Literally, anyone would have done that with you.”

           He waves you off.

“You like the same anime I like and the same music. You even knew of the band I was in during my senior year of high school!” 

           You nod, he’s got a point there.

“You’re not loud or constantly demanding attention. I like that you just kind of exist. Sometimes I just need to exist too, but people always expect more, you know?” 

           Hongjoong’s eyes trail off, landing on the darkening sky and seeking out the moon. 

“When we hang out, I feel like there’s nothing we actually need to do in order to call it a date. You’re the only person I’ve continuously taken out. You’ve made it clear that you expect nothing from me.”

           You nod, but tilt your head in question as your own eyes follow his gaze to the moon. 

“So, it makes me want to give you everything.”

           Unsure of if it’s the weed talking through him or if he meant what he just said, you still find yourself melting a bit at his voice when he says it. The words feel like they hold a lot of weight for him, and you didn’t even know that weight existed until now. 

“Do you always say these types of things when the moon is in the right position, and the weed is dank as hell?”

           He snorts, tucking his chin into his chest as he laughs before reaching out and swatting you on the shoulder. 

“What I’m trying to get at here, because I know by now that you’re not going to pick up on any hints is that I kind of want this to be the last first date.”

           You find yourself panicking at that, unsure of what the fuck that’s supposed to mean. Hongjoong instantly regrets his awful attempt at wording that. “Unmatched wit” his ass, he can genuinely say the dumbest shit in the most important situations. 

“Wait–” He pauses, mouth falling slack as he visibly searches his brain for the correct words. “Okay, let me rephrase that.”

           You wait, feeling relieved at his panic and the slow recovery of what he just said to you. 

“What I meant by last first date, is like, um–” It’s lost on him again as you watch his eyes squint into a smile instead, the sparkle of his eyes matching the glints from his various earrings. “I’m trying to ask you to be my girlfriend, fuck.”

           This. This is another reason why he likes you this much. Though he saw your eyes fall, and though he said what he needed to say incorrectly at first, you didn’t question him. You didn’t put words in his mouth or react in a way that wouldn’t allow his own recovery. His ability to talk to women right now is highly reduced, but his ability to talk to you is forever comfortable even when he fucks up. You let him fuck that up, and now you’re smiling at him and he can’t help but let his heart swell three times its original size. 

“So,” he coughs, looking back to the moon and then back at you. “I guess we can’t have any more first dates if every time we see each other, we are technically, like, dating, right?”

           You snort at his inability to string together a coherent sentence, knowing full well that both of you have the ability to navigate everyday conversations high. Given the fact that the two of you have been in public before pretending like you didn’t just hotbox his car. It’s just that, this isn’t an everyday conversation and you’d like to think that you probably sound like an idiot too. You’re somehow right there with him even if you feel like you’re on two different pages of two different books. 

“You have a point,” you say, managing to fit his words into a sentence that makes sense in your brain. “Delivery could have been better though.” 

           The lighting on his cheekbones says enough about his own permanent smile matching yours. If you believed in fairytales, you’d genuinely think that the two of you are in your own little world with nothing but the moon and expensive ass weed. 

“You’re supposed to say yes, by the way.” Hongjoong urges you, both of you kind of entering into a giggle fit because of the warmth spreading throughout your bodies. 

           You nod, agreeing that, yes, you’ll definitely be his girlfriend. 

 ~

             The first kiss with Hongjoong may have been the warmest you’ve ever felt. It was smooth, a little peckish, and overall quite sweet. Even over the weeks he had been taking you out, he never once kissed you or did little more than be some of the best company you could find yourself with. The first kiss taking place after making things official was something you weren’t used to. 

           And so, that first kiss on his balcony became a second kiss, and then a third and fourth, until the two of you moved into his living room to escape the breeze that had by then made your fingers cold. Fifth, sixth, seventh– and then finally, the eight kiss was one that could have meshed all of the kisses in your life into one. The first heated kiss.

           His couch became more comfortable than it was when you first came here, especially now with him beside you, cradling your face and leaving gentle kisses all along your jawline before trailing back to your lips. He’s your boyfriend now and for some reason, you don’t feel yourself doubting why that is. He is proving to you right now how much he likes you, and you try to do the same for him. Your hazy eyes are unable to stay open for too long under the pressure of his lips fluttering all over your face, and you feel loved for the first time in a long time. 

           It didn’t feel awkward to reach up with your eyes closed to try and put your fingers in his hair, even when you accidentally knocked him on the cheek instead. It didn’t feel like an alarm went off when he tugged at you to pull you over him, leaning himself back on the couch and reaching blindly for the tv remote to avoid the silence in the room save for lips smacking. 

           For the first time with another person, you felt safe and at home when his hands were roaming your body. 

           Both jackets were already off, and your cold fingers warmed up in his as he would eventually intertwine his fingers with yours as he kissed you. It didn’t feel rushed, and maybe it was just because you both were in a lazy state of peaked high, but you can almost feel every single touch be amplified. You’d be lying if you said your entire body wasn’t tingling. More silent than it has ever been between the two of you, it still feels like it’s where you should be.

           Hongjoong’s fingers in yours, his lips on yours, his tongue licking against yours, all of it is good. The sensations swam throughout your body to the point that you barely even notice that you’re turned on.

           Is it too much on the…what was it, seventh date? Is it too much on the first night of being his girlfriend after your first and eighth or thirteenth kiss? His lips are curled into this permanent little smile that tells you otherwise. He’s the one who pulled you on top of him, he’s the one who hasn’t pushed because he somehow knew you were enjoying the steamy make out session too much to let it end here.

           There’s no end goal at this moment with Hongjoong, nothing is telling you that you need to get off or get him off despite your body already tingling for it. There’s no rush with the man under you, with his moon-like eyes and messy dyed hair. He’s just as telling as he always has been, and without a word, you know that at this moment, he would take anything you give him and be perfectly content. 

“I can see you thinking, you know,” Hongjoong whispers, his fingers tightening their grip between your own. “We can just do this, I’m perfectly fine with just this.”

           You shake your head at him, squeezing his fingers and looking at him for a brief moment. Seeing him now like this, with his kissed lips and his hair just as messy as always, it hits you again that he’s yours. Not in a way that’s possessive, but like, he wants to be yours, and he wants you to be his. 

           Your eyes glance down to his lap, with his length sitting firmly between your legs and it makes your heart swell. Typically, men in this position would push you, pull you, and move you around on their arousal to try and get some sort of release but, not Hongjoong. He’s containing himself, assuring you that you don’t have to do anything more. Regardless of you sitting on his thighs, dangerously close to being able to please him this way. 

“Do you want more, though?” You ask him. 

His eyes are half-lidded and looking up at you as you speak, glancing down to your lips again as if he already misses them. You can see his answer in the silence, his grip on your hand tightening as his brain malfunctions at the very idea of you being the one to ask. He wants more for the sake of having you, but he also wants more for the sake of pleasing you. 

“Yeah?” You ask for confirmation of his silent answer, leaning down to kiss against the corner of his mouth before leaning back again. 

           He gives you a reassuring nod, his other hand snaking around your waist and pulling you closer to him, onto his hardened length with a soft mewl at you. 

“I do,” he whispers against your ear, nuzzling his nose against your neck and trying to prevent his hips from bucking up as you sit on him. “I can give you more, too.”

           The way he says it to you with a soft rasp makes your stomach do flips, almost as if he’s pleading for you to let him, it makes your entire body tingle. Never has a man made you feel this way when you’re being intimate. You suppose Hongjoong is right though, from what he said before, about how almost every date appears to be the first one with the number of new things you learn about each other.

           You don’t need to respond to him though, because almost immediately after those words you turn your face slightly to kiss his temple, and he instantly releases your hand and puts it on the other side of your waist. Practically caging you against him as he holds you in place and dips back in to kiss you. 

           Within that kiss, you can hear his need. Throaty groans as he presses his length against you. Only the sound of fabric rubbing against fabric can be heard but it’s kind of a pretty sound. His weathered sweater feels warm when you tangle your fingers into the loosened fringe along his neck like, trying to work your hips to match his within this tight hug. 

           By the time he notices that you’re moving your hips on him, his grip loosens and he pulls back from the kiss, watching you pull yourself up and planting your arms on his shoulders to actually grind against him. 

           He runs his hands up and down your waist at this point, eyes watching the way you work yourself against him with a deep and burning fondness. He appears to be in awe, a crooked smirk appearing on his softened and kissed lips.

“You know,” Hongjoong chuckles softly, closing one eye and focusing on the feeling of the dry drag against him.. “It might just be because I’m high but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good with denim practically rubbing me raw–”

           Your hips stop, and you try to ignore the fact that on any other day, those words would have absolutely ruined the mood, but for some reason, it doesn’t. You let out a breathy laugh, falling forward and laughing against his neck. The moon must be in the right position or something tonight, because everything does feel insanely good. Then again, maybe it’s just that he’s in the right position, or maybe it’s just you.

“Why would you–” You cut yourself off as you laugh, breathing in the scent of him once more before leaning back and backing off of his lap slightly. The look he gives you is nothing but fond and it kind of makes you feel more dazed than you already do. “Let's take them off then?” 

           Hongjoong gives you a polite nod, his hands releasing you but still chasing your warmth as you pull yourself off of him and wait for him to remove his pants. 

           He’s quick with it, of course, and you take it another step further to take yours off too, not looking him in the eye as you do it. Almost to hope that he doesn’t see you do it, to hope that he won’t think about it, or smile at it, or make a comment on it.

           Thankfully, he doesn’t and when you sit back on his lap, feeling his bare legs against yours and noting how fucking warm his skin is, all you can do is pretend like feeling someone else’s skin against yours is supposed to feel fleeting like this. 

           Your panties sit against his boxers now, and his warmth seeps through you so fast that you want to feel more. See more, touch more, kiss more, love more. You don’t hesitate to loop your fingers into a particularly big rip on his sweater and tug on it.

“This too?” He tilts his head, his own hand fiddling with the same rip that your fingers are intertwined with, and then looks away shyly..

All you can do is feel yourself spiraling further into the feeling of being with him. He’s got one strand of hair standing stiffly too, probably from the static of the couch rubbing against it, but it’s cute. It’s attractive, everything about him is attractive. 

His eyes continue to avoid your eyes when he lifts his sweater off of him, shivering at the cool apartment air hitting his skin all over rather than just through those rips and tears. You take note, especially when he does look at you and pulls you down into a kiss again as quickly as he can. He’s not letting you see him like this, bare from the waist up and almost from the waist down. 

The two of you must have been one soul at one point because you know what he’s doing and never have you had to be the one on the other side of this situation. Usually, you’re the one hiding when it feels overwhelming, you’re the one imagining that the person with you would be searching for imperfections. You pull back from his kiss, looking into his eyes before glancing down at his bare chest and stomach.

“You’re being shy,” You comment, leaning down to plant a kiss on his collarbone before looking back at him and tilting your head. “You’re never shy.” 

You work up the confidence in yourself now, lifting your shirt off and doing your best not to immediately mimic what he’s already done. Meaning, you don’t hide your exposed skin and instead, you try to sit proudly on top of him.

Hongjoong just watches, his lips falling slack at your bareness with a relieved sigh.

“How can I not be shy right now?” he smiles, leaning himself up this time and kissing against the plush flesh of your breast. 

           You sigh at the feeling of his lips against your chest, fingers automatically finding their way into his hair as you focus on the feeling. The emotion of it all sends you into overdrive because really? Everything about Hongjoong is loud, and you’re making him shy?

           The goosebumps continuously rise and fall as he works his lips across one breast to the other, up until his fingers are pushing the fabric of your bra to the side. He pulls back momentarily to look at them, eyes darting from one nipple to the other before looking up at your face. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.” Hongjoong admits, dipping in and flicking one of your nipples with his tongue. 

“Oh?” You ask, officially grinding your hips again on his lap, feeling his cock twitch in his boxers. The drag feels lighter now that there’s not much fabric preventing the feeling. “For how long?”

“Third date,” he admits, trailing back to the other breast and sucking just next to your nipple, his other hand easily stimulating the one he just neglected. “Didn’t want to rush with you though, I’m always rushing.”

           You hum at his words, feeling special. All he makes you feel is special. And when he finally releases your chest from his mouth and falls back against the couch, even the way he looks at you confirms that your feelings about this aren’t unfounded. 

           You put more effort into your hips now, your mind spinning by this point at the way his touches are gentle. His chest rises and falls with each perfect drag up his length, small mewls of pleasure spilling from his lips every few seconds. Still, he just looks at you. 

           There’s really no rush here and the scary part about it is that you’re already so worked up that you wouldn’t mind a bit of rushing by this point.

           More and more you move your hips, and more and more Hongjoong appears to lose his composure. His hands gripping at you, his eyes unable to stay on one part of your body for too long, his teeth showing as he bites his lip just to compose himself from making the next step– and then–

           There it is. There he is, lunging forward and grabbing you, pulling you so close to him that your core is now seated directly on the head of his leaking cock. He moans at the pressure, kissing against your lips with so much passion that you wonder if he know’s how hot that was. 

           He’s lost in the moment and you can’t help but love it. With the way one of his hands holds your cheek as he kisses you and the other finds itself against your ass to push and pull you on his lap. At this point, you wonder if he could get off this way. With the way he’s acting, you think he could. Easily.

“Hongjoong,” You manage to gasp during the short breath between his frantic kiss. “We can–” 

           You’re cut off by him kissing you again, his hand guiding you down and forward on his length in a way that tells you he’s listening. He’s imagining what you’re about to say. 

“We can,” He groans in an answer to your unfinished question, taking in a deep breath when he pulls back from the kiss and looking down to see the head of his cock occasionally peeking from the waistband of his boxers. “Just tell me what you want.”

           Words escape you in that moment, so you use your body instead. Scooting back and almost taking the boxers with you you see a glimpse of his length. Heavy, leaking, twitching at the loss of your weight against it. You stare, wanting to devour this man whole at that moment but you hold back. You can give him head another time, honestly. After spending so long making out, grinding, and him playing with your breasts? You’re kind of ready to rush. Even just for a moment. 

           He watches your hands as they lower the boxers further, pulling them down until you can tuck them under your thighs to hold them in place. There, you just look at his cock and he just looks at you. 

           After a few seconds, you glance at him with shy eyes, blinking in a way to try and hide your blatant lust for what’s between his legs. He might believe that seeing you look at him this way is the best thing he’s ever experienced. His cock twitches unintentionally when he notices your blown pupils, especially when his eyes trail down. Now that the seat of your panties isn’t grinding against him, he can see a glimpse of the darkened wet spot.

           Now what to do? The two of you sitting here, horny out of your goddamn mind and the weed on top of it amplifying every touch, you can imagine that you both look like a pair of deer in headlights. 

           Hongjoong finishes what you started though, running his hand down your sides before grabbing himself and gently pumping once. You watch as he gathers the dripping pre-cum in his palm before smoothing it down his entire length while his eyes never leave the spot between your legs. Then he continues that, touching himself as you’re on him as if to tell you that he can finish himself off so you don’t have to. 

           Without really thinking, you find your own hand doing the same, sliding down your panties and the instant your fingers bump against your clit, you jolt and find yourself letting out a soft and pained moan at the sensitivity. 

“That–” Hongjoong takes in a sharp breath at the sound, squeezing the base of his cock with his hand and closing his eyes. “sounded so fucking pretty.”

           It wasn’t intentional and for a brief moment, you felt embarrassed by the sound. Once again though, Hongjoong pulls that confidence out of you like it’s what he was born to do. At this point though, your legs feel like jelly after being spread on top of him for so long and you think he can tell. 

“Mm, let’s move,” He comments, releasing his cock and tapping you with the other hand to stand up. “Lay back, I'll do the rest.”

           He gently instructs you, grabbing a pillow and placing it at the end of the couch for your head to lay against. You do so without question, both your legs and heart are weak at seeing him like this. 

“There, better?” He asks after you lay back. He leans over your side after a short nod from you and leaves a gentle kiss against your lips before placing his hand against your thigh. “Can I take these off?” 

           You nod, feeling him slip your panties down your legs before you watch him shimmy off his own boxers. 

           There, there it is. Both of you are entirely vulnerable to each other for the first time and you don’t feel a hint of wanting to stop. Not a worry, doubt, or insecurity can or will stop you at this moment. 

           He doesn’t let his eyes linger for too long at your exposed core just yet and instead he opts to place himself between your legs before leaning down and kissing you much like before. He can’t get enough of your lips if he’s being honest though. 

           You can feel the weight of his cock resting between your thigh and pussy and it does nothing more than make you want it more. You want him so bad by this point that you can’t really question how dumb you could sound actually asking for it. 

“Can you, like–” Your words are lost on you when he pulls back with a small smile and a curious look.

“Do you want to?” He asks, despite knowing this is where the situation was headed.

           You give a shy nod, reaching your hand down between the two of you and gripping him yourself for the first time. 

           He lets out a shaky breath with a laugh, humping his hips forward and into your hand intentionally when he does it. 

“Fuck,” He seethes out. “Yeah, okay.” He sighs this time, without shame still fucking himself into your hand and showing a desperate need for what you’re asking for. 

           You can’t help but get lost in it. Your hand guided his cock down and against your clit for a brief moment of sensitive relief before releasing a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding when you position him at your entrance. 

           He pushes in without holding back, but he’s slow with it. The head of his cock sank into the warm and clenched walls causing a pleasant stretch. Both of you let out a moan at this, feeling him push in slowly, continuously, until he’s bottomed out and nuzzling against your ear. 

“Sound so pretty when you moan,” he babbles against your ear, leaving wet and warm condensation from his breath there. “You could drive me insane like this.”

           You moan again, not entirely for his pleasure but simply because it feels so good. His cock pulsing inside of you when you clench around him, his soft voice in your ear. Sensory overload has never felt so fucking euphoric to you. 

“Like that, yeah.” Hongjoong rasps out this time, pulling his head back in time with his hips. Almost emptying you entirely before pushing back in with that same languid drag of his hips. His eyes are on you now though, arms at either side of your head as he works up a lazy kind of rhythm. One that offers a deep thrust each time. 

           You can’t help the sounds that fall from your lips, and you can’t help that your pussy is throbbing around him, and certainly, you can’t help that the feeling of one of his hands moving to your chest before dipping his head down and sucking against it makes you moan out a bit louder. 

           With each moan, he almost mimics you with his own. He’s riding off of the pleasure he’s giving to you. Then again, he’s always been fond of pretty sounds. Music is his passion but hearing you make such delicate sounds for him makes his head spin in all sorts of directions. 

           His thrusts become more pointed after a few minutes, fucking into you at a pace that feels equally as deep but more powerful now. Your hands grip at anything you can get ahold of, meaning, you grip him. His arms, his back, and then finally you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down.

           His hips stutter at that before he grabs one of your legs and hikes it up and around his waist. This allows him to position himself slightly differently, fucking into you at an angle as his lips immediately fall to yours with a breathy laugh. 

           You can’t kiss him back this time though, with the new angle he’s driving into you causing his cock to bump repeatedly against a soft spot inside of you. Your mouth is left slack, releasing empty moans against his attempts to kiss you.

           He takes intense note of it, keeping up his pace and falling in love with the way you react to this angle. His hands find purchase above your head and he leans back to watch you as he fucks into you. 

“God,” He says slightly out of breath, dipping in briefly to kiss you on the forehead. “I’m going to come in about five seconds if you keep doing this.”

           Your eyes roll back slightly at his words and instantly you’re shoving your hand between the two of you to push yourself over the edge. He swats your hand away though, still fucking into you all while intertwining his fingers with yours and using his other hand to do the work for you. 

“Fuck, I can’t get enough of you,” He says, rubbing his fingers in harsh circles around your sensitive clit. “Let me take care of you,” he adds in a huff, his hips becoming more frantic each time he feels your pussy tense around him. 

           Just like that, you’re releasing in waves with trembling legs. To the point that you throw your other leg around his waist and essentially push him into you with such force that he can’t even thrust anymore. You hold him there, riding out your high and struggling to comprehend the fact that this man isn’t always attached to you like this. 

           He lays there, his head forced into the crook of your neck as he feels you come around him, clenching him so tightly that he can’t really help it either. Your warm and wet pussy is absolutely soaking him and all he can do is let it. All he can do is feel it, to the point that he’s driven over the edge too. 

           Even when you release your death grip hug, he stays in place, nuzzling further against your neck with choked moans and tight presses of his hips. He’s trying to drive his cock deeper than it can go as he releases it, the feeling too good for him to think straight. You run your fingers through his hair as he does it, trailing your fingernails down to his neck and across his back. 

           You can feel the goosebumps on his skin under your fingers, and when his body finally goes limp on top of you, all you can do is continue that motion. Scratching, rubbing, soothing him through both of your post-orgasm brain fog. 

 ~

             Becoming Hongjoong’s girlfriend was something that should have been expected if you’re being honest. It should be a normal relationship, with normal arguments, and normal sex. Except it’s not. 

           The relationship is anything but normal but you’d like to say you prefer it this way. With the late night dates to empty parking lots just to be outside of your own spaces, the gas station runs where the two of you need to buy every snack known to man to satiate your munchies. The repeat tv shows playing on his television because you never quite catch what happened in episode six despite watching in four times. To be fair, episode six always comes on when you’re almost entirely wrapped up with your boyfriend. 

His hands are always stained with hair dye because he can’t be bothered to wear gloves, your hands are stained with hair dye too because you can’t not run your fingers through it when he’s between your legs. He’s always adding color to your life, be it literally or emotionally.

           There’s something strange about the way he balances you. In public with him, all attention is on his ripped clothes and shining piercings and a quirk of the brow always comes when they see you holding his hand. 

You kind of like the attention these days though. 

[askew-d]

WANGXIAN FICS MASTERLIST

• tonight i can write the saddest lines, by sarahyyy — post-canon amnesiac lan wangji getting to know wei wuxian again. amazing! i love this author, sincerely.

• deconstruct, by flowercity (faorie) — a soulmate au in which what you write in your skin appears in the other person’s. i’ll admit that soulmate aus aren’t my cup of tea, however i quite liked this one!

• resonant frequencies, by chinxe — the infamous fake relationship story. with wangxian, this works so well! just amazing.

• between the lines, by fading_fast — modern setting au with wangxian meeting through a game. love these strange meetings and this one’s damn enjoyable.

• something real, by latios — wangxian wrong number au involving bunny pictures. i need more wrong number aus for them!! gimme!!

• all your life you’ll dream of this, by attila — cinderella au but with wei wuxian as prince charming. a fantastic story, i was so engaged in this it’s a wonder.

• ⭐️🎖️ one good thing, by yuu_chi — wei wuxian’s a ghost haunting his childhood house until lan wangji appears. seriously, everything about this plot charmed me. i’m enchanted.

• of rabbits and men, by shoutowo — wei wuxian turning into a rabbit and making his way into lan wangji’s heart for the second time. anything more wangxian than this?

• ⭐️ rumor has it, by ulan — post-canon cql in which wei wuxian comes back to “haunt” his rumored cultivation partner. the softness in this killed me.

• ⭐️🎖️ a little happiness, by suspicious_popsicle — lan wangji gets cursed and is transformed into his child version. so lovely to see!! i’m surprised i can read this for free.

• critical path analysis, by chinxe — brooklyn 99 au with wangxian in that episode where they make a bet and wei wuxian takes wangji on a terrible date that’s not terrible at all!

• ⭐️ some of you, by tangerine chair — social media au where lan wangji’s an actor and posts a suspicious tweet about his love life. incredible story, really.

• ⭐️ this should definitely happen, by yeolinski — wei wuxian waking up high in anesthesia and hitting on the hot guy who’s there with him. this is so goddamn funny, i swear i can’t.

• linger in the sun, by etymologyplayground — wangxian are cursed to not hear or see one another. i loved this a lot, it’s terrific.

• another way, by anonymous — wei wuxian sneaks outside to buy emperor smile’s again, and once again encounters lan wangji. i’m frustrated this doesn’t have as many kudos as it deserves, tbh.

• life, drama and action, by akai_hana — one more social media au with wangxian as a famous couple. awesome story.

• inebriation and affections, by chewing — wei wuxian gets drunk and shows his clingy attitude. it’s great to see him like that for the first time, thank you author 🙏🏼

• ⭐️ the inquiries of the heart, by ziane — very much alike “another way”, but this one has a sequel. it’s a whole show alright. a hella nice canon-divergence.

• 我在, by tangerinechair — wei wuxian comforting lan wangji in the xuanwu cave. something i deeply needed to read.

• facilitated diffusion, by chinxe — lan wangji can’t stop ordering stuff just to see the cute delivery worker. at this point i’m bookmarking every work by this author, ngl.

• ⭐️ you, asleep and dreaming, by etymologyplayground — post-canon cql that’ll haunt your mind but that you need to check out if you haven’t already.

• a wild heart to tame mine, by theroyalsavage — superheroes au in a soft perspective and amazing plot, liked every bit.

• ⭐️ a song you’ve never heard, by arahir — wei wuxian’s fatally injured and lan wangji… well, you can imagine. it’s heartbreaking and heartwarming all in between.

• ⭐️ to wing your soul with jasmines, by enemyofrome — while reaching gusu, wei wuxian starts sending flowers to lan wangji. cql post-canon. i could die basking on this adorable story.

• dear hanguang-jun, by cavaleira — people start sending letters asking for relationship advice from lan wangji and he gives it to them. whoa, the entertainment!

• ⭐️🎖️ two guys r in love thats literally it, victortor — wei wuxian traveling back to his old self and meeting lan wangji again. it’s a shame we didn’t hear more from this author in this fandom for a long time. where are you?? come back to give us more of this gay lil beasts. i absolutely love this and the title makes it more interesting. iconic.

• concessions to love, by besanii — arranged marriage wangxian. it’s well-noted and well-written. it rocks!

• “congratulations, get rich”, by attila — it’s chinese new year and wei wuxian wants to do things differently. incredibly done.

• atlas, by etymologyplayground — if you want a crossover between hob and mdzs, here it is. and it’s amazing!

• soft-hearted, by sarahyyy — canon-divergence where wei wuxian ends up in the lan sect. it’s so soft, just as the name tells us!

• seldom all they seem, by fahye — here we go with one more arranged marriage au. this one’s rated e, surely a ride! worth every bit.

• and in the spring i shed my skin, by wvlfqveen — shapeshifter lan wangji in a modern with magic au where they’re professors. do i need to say more? all too good, all too good

• love & longing, rabbit edition, by jaws_3 — lan wangji gets turned into a rabbit and looks for wei wuxian for help. do you sense a pattern? yes, maybe i love the idea of lan wangji as a bunny. in fact, i recommend every story by this author and many others but i’ll just be adding by absolute favorites. and this one’s fabulous.

• 在此恭迎夷陵老祖; to yiling laozu, the great and venerable, by yiqie — we had people writing letters to hanguang-jun asking for advice and now it’s people writing letters to the yiling patriarch! also gorgeous.

• 1 unread message, by bittersweetirony — office au where wei wuxian keeps receiving emails from an admirer. short and very sweet!

• ⭐️ the stars in the hazy heaven tremble above you, by cicer — wherein wei wuxian’s ciderella and wangji’s prince charming. i could read this over and over and never get tired. in fact, i did.

• ⭐️🎖️ only the deepest love, by occultings (microcomets) — pride and prejudice fusion. everything’s a bliss, magically and wonderfully so. i fell in love with this masterpiece. in fact, read everything by this author!! highly recommend. especially three days gone, if you go searching rabbits and a life in your shape!

• beneath six layers of silk, by darkredloveknot (enheduane) — lan wangji’s cursed to speak every thought of his out loud. come on, who never wanted to check what this guy’s thinking? perfect!

• ⭐️ let me come home, by cafecliche — seven nights with wangxian being sappy. i could dream about this piece of art. really.

• ⭐️🎖️ i hope that you will come and meet me, by feyburner — another post-canon cql where wangxian slowly get together. i find this particularly devastating and so beautiful.

• the ocean between us, by catbrainedschemes — this is for those who watched the legend of the blue sea, yes, the k-drama! because this is a fusion of it, where wei wuxian is a mermaid.

• call me, beep me, by myung — a whole social media au in another level! they are all actors and i love this idea so much. myung-laoshi big brained, tis glorious story right here made a lot happier.

• and his wanting grows teeth, by yukla — cultivator lan wangji finding wei wuxian in a village, an au in canon setting as the tag says. it's devasting how good this is, really.

• 🎖️ how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat), by bwyn, yuisaki — wei wuxian finds a catfish trying to be the famous lan wangji. turns out, of course, that it's not a catfish. can we talk about this story more? the sheer hurt/comfort of it, and how it's the perfect rom-com slash drama depiction? i want this as a real show! new york, i love you, by yuisaki also gorgeous!

• listen to the voice inside your head, by pupeez4eva— wei wuxian wakes up to his future-self voice inside his head. it's telling him suspicious things. the amount of giggles i let it slip. in fact, i recommend every work by this author because they always makes me laugh!

• 🎖️ the breaking of your soul (upon my lips), by sunsandships — canon-divergence where wei wuxian discovers that lan wangji's the one who kissed him without his consent. that changes everything. just... magnificent fix-up story, as i said so in my bookmark.

• love on 35mm, by fakeplasticlily — film student lan wangji and wei wuxian as the brother of lan wangji's best friend. my heart was aching during this.

• neatly arranged, by thunderwear — wei wuxian and lan wangji are betrothed, against their own wills. do we have enough wangxian arranged marriage content? no, we do not.

• ⭐️🎖️paint smears on sunny days, by snowshadowao3 — lan wangji's son, lan yuan, has a favorite teacher, and that's wei-laoshi, art professional and also an expert at getting into lan wangji's heart. i will dive DEEP into teacher wei wuxian concept. this one's so wholesome, i could Die.

• 🎖️the absolutely true story of the yiling patriarch: a manifesto in many parts, by aubreyli — the juniors decide to make up wei wuxian's reputation by creating a book of his stories with hanguang-jun. it goes well. one time or another. haha, i love the juniors, they are so creative when making wangxian get together.

• ⭐️🎖️ pigtail pulling, by protos_metazu_isson — lan wangji decides to face wei wuxian's pigtail pulling face to face. that goes better than the expected and worse that what he further imagined. it's surely one of stories i keep on rereading from time to time, especially because it's not big and it's so CUTE!! help.

• ⭐️🎖️ your hand in mine, by cerbykerby — wangxian cursed to hold each other's hand. i could scream while i'm are. come on, this is one of the best stories here, it's short and so sweet, so fitting for them too. perfect, perfect.

• ⭐️ as you like it, by cosmicmilktea — wei wuxian starts to discover what's lan wangji likes. it's what he should know as his husband, after all. IT'S WHAT WE NEED AND DESERVE.

• after the final rose, by azulewaxwing — the bachelor au, because who doesn't want a lan wangji for themselves? turns out, the cameraman attracts his attention more than any contestant could. absolute fire.

• your heartbeat, across the grass, by fakeplasticlily — former classmates with now wei wuxian babysitting and lan wangji as a famous football player. aaah, just imagining lan wangji playing football, as a brazilian, it gives me chills.

• grow, by cafecliche — age degression wei wuxian troubling cloud recesses and the juniors. i love this idea! love a tiny wei wuxian. he deserves good things.

• obedient and bellicose, by thunderwear — an ella the enchanted au where, as per say, lan wangji has to follow every rule. oh, what an incredible fusion. it fits so well, even.

• ⭐️ at least in this lifetime, by etymologyplayground — aaaah i'm sighing over this again. this story's pure sweetness. diabetes. fluff. outstanding. basically, it's just wangxian getting married.

• ⭐️🎖️ i'm the one for your fire, by occultings (microcomets) — a cherry magic au, where wei wuxian can reads mind and discovers lan wangji from the office is actually into him. and maybe he's also into lan wangji. but like, in a no homo kinda way. of course! (denial's a river on africa, dear.)

• ⭐️ look not with the eyes, by spodumene — a case fic post-canon cql where everyone who knows lan wangji starts to devote themselves to him and it doesn't work on wei wuxian. why would that be? i wonder.

• ⭐️🎖️ sweet chaos, by eachandeverydimension — it took me a long time to finish this because everything was so good i wanted to feel it forever. wangxian arranged marriage where they're fourteen and lan wangji goes spend the time with him at yunmeng.

• ⭐️🎖️ your words upon my lips, by uchiuchi — during a nighthun, wangxian get cursed, what one says comes on the other's lips. this killed me, it's so freaking funny and overall over the top.

• ⭐️🎖️ linger by the door (i've always been yours), by piecrust — epistolary wangxian! post-canon cql! introspection! slow burn! everything i could ever want in just one fic. and the letters are unbearably beautiful.

• my heart skips a beat (so my gut can feel the punch), by piecrust — wangxian taking the long way back home. i always wonder how these pretty stories come into an author's mind.

• we sit in the sunset glow, by moonsteps — tangled au where wei wuxian's flynn rider and wangji's rapunzel. thank you, dear author, indeed wangxian came straight out of a fairy tale movie and we deserve more fics like this!

•⭐️not in so many words, by jaws_3 — getting hananaki through a curse after he flirts with the wrong florist, wei wuxian starts dealing with the consequences of his actions. a masterpiece. and so, so lovely, gimme more. this author also has many darling works.

• ⭐️tickling sleeping dragons, by fallingfeathers — a hogwarts au with wei wuxian as a troublemaker gryffindor and lan wangji as a rigorous ravenclaw! perfect, isn't it? the development's awesome as well.

• blooming into the color of love, series by leffy — actors wei wuxian and lan wangji, who are judged to be rivals, have to work together for a tv show. and they have sex scenes at that. so enjoyable!

• love potion no. 9, by ria_green — one more hogwarts au where amortentia's involved, so you can imagine what happens. short and soft.

• the rivers start to sing, by fruitys — another tangled au but this time with wei wuxian as rapunzel and lan wangji as flynn rider. it's a marvel that we have two tangled aus in here! phenomenal. mountains, we met by this author (every work of theirs, actually) are also worth every bit!

•⭐️blue-ribbon bunny, by cicer — shapeshifter lan wangji is forced into a shift after getting tired at work and wei wuxian finds him. bunji won my heart, i want to pet him! wei wuxian, you lucky fool.

•⭐️no more looking, i've found home, by annadream — more epistolary wangxian! more post-canon cql! getting together! once again, with terrific letters. i'm astonished with these author's mind.

•⭐️🎖️teen project to change the world, by animeloverhomura — mdzs characters watching mdzs donghua!!! please, this is my utmost FAVORITE! ever! i'm also translating this into portuguese, for those who wanna check in the start note (i'm slowly updating it, im sorry). but aaah, how sensational this work is!!

• an impromptu visit to the city, by bosbie — lan wangji time travels into a modern time and wei wuxian finds him there! oh, this is precious, they are the best.

• heartkeeper, by postingpebbles — bunny lan wangji again, but this ain't modern times, and it's also fascinating. the arts in these made me so warm inside, too.

• ⭐️🎖️the one-body problem, by metisket — during a ritual, lan jingyi's possessed and wei wuxian's on his body with him. waahhh, i couldn't help but chuckle during every part of this, it's well-written and freaking nice to see them bonding. jingyi and wei wuxian being buddies owns my life.

• ⭐️🎖️no certainty of doors between us, by betts — this is the story that HAUNTS me. i read this every once in a while because it's goddamn FANTASTIC. just roommates wangxian with wangji complaining about wei wuxian but being head over heels in love with the man. chaotic, amusing and flawless!!!

• ⭐️🎖️covered in bees, by scarlettstorm— apiary au with wei wuxian freaking out over bees at his doorstep, but then lan wangji comes to aid. and of course, chemistry sparks. and there are bees everywhere. and my heart's melted.

•🎖️lavender blue, by ana_cp — wei wuxian's a florist for a wedding and lan wangji's a cook, they meet and don't stop meeting afterwards. everything about this work is excellent!

•⭐️ wrong turn, right place, by diamondbruise — more time-travel au! this time, it's wei wuxian who goes to cloud recesses coming from his modern time. one of my favorite quotes from all the fics i've read it's in here. such an exquisite work.

• hello, it. have you tried turning it off and on again?, by overmountainandmeadow — here we have modern setting, office wangxian, it superior lan wangji, juniors as interns and other great plots. stunning work!

• diamonds are wei wuxian's worst enemy, by thefaceofno — lan wangji says he wants to marry, and wei wuxian thinks it's with another person. of course it isn't. so he helps plan his own wedding. coming from our best fool, that's expected, really. splendid!

• secretary lan, series by silverclaw — exactly what it says, lan wangji as his husband's secretary and everybody thinks wei wuxian's cheating on their spouse with... well, his spouse. it's absurdly good.

• our hands clasped so tight, by chapter_61 — wangxian get stuck in a library and conversations ensue. i like the idea of fics with a lot of dialogue, and this one didn't fail to surprise and light me up! lovely!

• ⭐️connected: unknown number, by phoenixking25 — wrong number aus always have my heart, and wow, how good this one is. truly excellent, with the perfect lenght. the ones i read are always so short, but this is longer! a win for the wrong number lovers.

• cut through the clouds, break the ceiling, by tardigradeschool — modern setting with our adorable boys including a drunk confession. i'm not lying when i say this is so delightful, i want to print it out and keep it.

• who could stay? you could stay, by martyrsdaughter — neighbours au, where wei wuxian's a bit intruding. maybe too much. but lan wangji likes him anywhere. what is there not to like? haha, a whole awesome read.

• ⭐️ be gay, do crime, by merelydovely — lan wangji thinks wei wuxian, the guy who invaded his home one afternoon and petted his bunnies, is a bad guy. he's not. hilarious and brilliant!

• ⭐️don't threaten me with a good time, by livinginaworldofnoise — ridiculously funny! basically, a great british bake off au with wei wuxian being a lil demon. i want this to be printed and delivered during my funeral, thank you very much.

• ⭐️as the clouds part and clear, we finally meet again, by 12262325 — lan wangji, as a kid, encounters wei wuxian, who's older than him. they keep on encountering each other, and lan wangji keeps on falling in love with his senior. aah, i'm in love with this work! i can't stop rereading!

• as if you were a mythical thing, by daltoneering — a vague steampunk au as the author suggest, and it absolutely rocks! i wish this had even more hits, as it deserves.

you can check my wangxian bookmarks on ao3 for more recs! i’d just like to note again that this is, of course, based on my own opinion. regardless if these stories are famous or not, i wanted to make this list for my enjoyment and for those who want more wangxian content, either they’re old here or if they’re just entering the fandom :)

as always, i’m accepting other recs if you have those. check my pinned tweet for more of my stuff and thank yoou!

[cheesiedomino]

Bittersweet ✦ . ⁺

synopsis: your early twenties are said to be the most crucial times of your life — endless career opportunities, heightened sense of identity, and dating dilemmas all wrapped into one. as you attempt to navigate your way through adulthood, you manage to land a once in a lifetime internship of your dreams, in Paris. though you had to make several sacrifices, it would all deem worth it in the end once you get inspiration for your new novel. you just can’t help but feel slightly annoyed by one of the tenants who seems to always smoke in front of the entrance — oh, and he never shuts up.

genre: non-idol au, slow burn, slice of life, hyunjin x fem!reader, strangers to lovers, photographer!hyunjin x author!reader, pg-15 wc: 10-11k ish

tags/warnings: fluff, angst, lots of cursing, kissing, heavy themes of anxiety, depression, and body dysmorphia, mentions of past trauma (will include some flashbacks), heavy alcohol usage, cigarette smoking (i do not condone this irl), reader is hella mean to hyunjin in the beginning LOL, hyunjin’s kinda mysterious ooohh, mentions of heartbreak/break ups, jealousy, suggestive moments but nothing too detailed, may be more once i upload the full fic

[yayyy, i’m back to writing again !! :D not sure if anyone missed me or even noticed i was gone lol but i really did miss this acc and can’t wait to share this all with you cause i’m working so hard on this 🥲 i hope this long one will make up for my severe absence and as always lmk what y’all think <33]

this story should be posted by Friday/Saturday, depending on how fast i finish but we’ll see ! if anyone would like to be tagged once it’s up please comment down below - yuri ★彡

[buckyseddie]

out of the woods

pairings — avenger!james (bucky) barnes x fem!human!avenger!reader

summary — in which, their relationship is a very complicated and rocky relationship that they both have to fight for. based on the song out of the woods by taylor swift!

word count — 7.7k.

warnings — lots of angst, lots of hints at winterwidow (but its not actually happening), also a lot of miscommunication, mentions of bucky's trauma, mentions of reader's past with old relationships, use of pet-names [doll, baby, babydoll, darling, sweetheart], reader calls bucky james a lot, cuddles, dancing, screaming fights, secret relationships, a lot of the avengers not being completely supportive of their relationship and being kind of judgemental, also big mentions of bucky's past and also past relationships and big hints at him kind of being a heartthrob / player / heartbreaker and like sleeping around etc., bucky's kind of an asshole, steve and natasha and wanda are probably the closest to the reader, steve's kind of hard on bucky but it's for a good reason, steve and wanda and natasha are hella overprotective of the reader, kisses, pining, jealousy, love confessions, tension!

notes — i'm back in my bucky obsession, so let's expect more!! also, this is the fastest i've EVER written a fic omg. gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3

main masterlist

THINKING BACK ON IT, NEITHER of them could say for sure how it first started.

they just knew that finding each other was the best thing to ever happen to either of them.

"looking at it now, it all seems so simple. we were lying on your couch. i remember."

the air is quiet with a calm and comfortable silence.

"do you think anything's going to change?" [y/n] asks quietly, not daring to look up at him.

she keeps her head leaning over his shoulder, becoming incredibly comfortable, but also feeling a little nervous of what his reply will be.

it takes him a moment before he answers her, "no, and even if they do, we'll figure it out."

[y/n] sighs, trying to keep the lingering, negative worries buried, as she moves the blanket to cover the both of them.

bucky chuckles, gently moving the fuzzy blanket off of his body and over to cover her whole, shivering body. "doll, you know my body's too warm for the blanket."

[y/n] sighs dramatically, rolling her eyes. "ugh, i hate how amazing your body is."

as soon as the words leave her lips, she groans and buries her face into his chest. "oh my god."

bucky smirks down at her.

she lifts her head up and squints her eyes in clear embarrassment. "i didn't mean it like that!"

bucky gives her a pointed look.

"i didn't!" she yells defensively.

she sighs. "you know i meant like how amazing your body is in the sense of healing and how you're always warm."

bucky chuckles, shaking his head. "sweetheart, i know. i'm just kidding."

"you better be." she mumbles, moving back to lie her head back on his chest and snuggling closer to him.

"you took a polaroid of us. then discovered (then discovered) the rest of the world was black and white. but we were screaming in color. and i remember thinking."

[y/n] giggles as he kisses her cheek, just as she takes the picture.

"bucky!" she yells, turning around to shove him, after she took the polaroid out of the camera and setting it down.

"what?"

"that picture is probably all blurry now!" she whines, turning back around to grab it on the side table.

she shakes it as he wraps his arms around her waist, both of them waiting to see what the picture will look like.

she giggles again as he buries his face into her neck, the scruff on his jaw tickling her.

he lifts his head up as the picture becomes much more clearer.

"huh." she murmurs, a soft smile forming on her lips as they both notice that the picture is perfect—no blurs, or anything like that.

"see? it's fine." he whispers, but since they're so close, she can hear it clearly.

she giggles as she turns around to face him, moving her hands up to his face, giggling once more at the feel of the facial hair that's grown on his face.

"fine. maybe it is." she says with playful glare.

he smiles genuinely, placing his own hands over hers, just appreciating the moment.

"are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods?"

with a silent gasp, [y/n] holds her breath and stands still, hiding behind the corner of the wall.

"what's going on between the two of you?" steve's voice speaks up again, judgement in his voice.

"what are you talking about?" bucky asks, trying to act dumb.

"come on, buck," steve says, giving him a pointed look. "it's clear that something's going on."

bucky shakes his head immediately, almost feeling and sounding defensive. "there's not anything going on."

[y/n]'s heart stops as she hears those words.

she wasn't expecting him to admit it, especially considering the fact that they've been keeping everything on the down low.

but, how could he sound so disgusted at the mere thought of them together?

with no more interest in hearing any more of that conversation, [y/n] angrily pushes herself away from the wall and marches up the stairs, up to her bedroom.

"are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? in the clear yet, good."

hearing her bedroom door open, [y/n] immediately turns away to hastily wipe away the tears staining her cheeks.

"doll? why are you—" bucky cuts himself off as he notices her red face and runny nose.

"are you crying?" he asks, shutting the door gently as he walks over to her.

"baby, what's wrong? talk to me." he murmurs as he sits down beside her, cupping her face gently.

[y/n] only scoffs, pulling away from him and getting up, wanting to get away from him.

"you have a lot of nerve, james!" she exclaims as she turns around, trying to ignore the sniffling sound coming from her nose.

bucky's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "sweetheart, what's going on? why are you acting like this all of a sudden?"

she scoffs again. "are you kidding me right now?"

he raises his hands up in the air, becoming frustrated.

realizing that he's probably never going to get it until she spells it out, she spits it out with disdain, "how was your talk with steve, huh? you have anything you wanna tell me?"

his eyes fill with realization.

bucky opens his mouth to say something — anything — to explain, before she can come up with too many assumptions.

she holds up her finger, trying to shut him up. "what are we even doing, james?"

he falls short at her words.

"if nothing is going on, then why are we even doing any of this?" she questions, pointing between the both of them to emphasize.

"doll, it's not like that. it's not like that at all, i swear."

he walks over to her, and for some reason, she lets him place his hands over her shoulders.

"i only said that to protect you — to protect us." he explains, sighing when she rolls her eyes at him in disbelief.

"from what, james? what could me or we need protecting from?" she exclaims, tears filling her eyes.

she can't stop the hurt feelings she feels deep in her heart from what he had said to steve.

"baby..." he trails off, hating to see her hurting from this misunderstanding.

"what? what could you possibly say that could make this better?" she exclaims again.

he sighs, shutting his eyes for a straight second. "i wanted to protect our relationship from all of the judgement and the questions!" he suddenly yells, causing her to jump in surprise.

he flinches, trying to ignore what his yelling has caused her.

"look," he says, much more softly this time. "i know this is all still very new to us. and i want to protect us and this relationship before we announce it — we need to figure out what it is before we do that."

she's quiet, tears spilling as guilt fills her for overreacting.

before she can quite apologize or defend herself, bucky can practically read her mind.

"don't worry about it. it's okay." he murmurs, wrapping his arms around her.

she sighs shakily as she whispers, "i'm sorry."

"are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods?"

she can't breathe.

she can't breathe at all as she sees it.

the scene playing out in front of her — in front of everyone too — makes her sick to her stomach.

she swears she hears her own heart shatter into a million different pieces.

despite the tears blinding her vision, she doesn't hesitate as she says, "excuse me, guys. i have to go." and turns around to walk back up to her room.

how could he do this to her?

flirting with her best friend? did she mean nothing to him?

as soon as she's in her room, she slams the door shut and locks it.

and with that, she slides down the door and finally lets everything out with her hands covering her face.

"are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? in the clear yet, good. (are we out of the woods?)"

she'd been avoiding bucky ever since she saw that exchange between him and natasha in the kitchen.

they'd all been drinking and even if [y/n] didn't know it, it wasn't anything more than two friends joking around with each other.

but, even though she was great at dodging and avoiding bucky, one morning, after a particularly exhausting training session with steve, he was able to find and catch her before she could quite run away from him.

she grimaces when he grabs her wrist to prevent her from going any farther away from him.

"[y/n]." he calls, his voice filled with anguish.

"what?" she whispers, trying to ignore the tears that have already spilled down to her cheeks.

she doesn't turn around. not yet.

"doll, what's going on? why won't you speak to me and why have you been avoiding me?" he asks, his voice barely even a whisper.

"did i do something wrong?" he asks again, this time his voice small.

but, [y/n] forces herself not to dwell on it.

instead, she whips around, ripping her hand out of his gentle grip and pointing a finger at his chest. "you have a lot of nerve, you know that, james?" she exclaims, finally having had enough.

everyone around them watches cautiously, before steve nods for them to follow him out of the room.

they do.

and bucky and [y/n] don't speak until the room is quiet and empty.

"what are you talking about?" he asks again, only becoming more and more confused.

she scoffs. "are you that clueless, bucky?" she asks, shaking her head.

how could he not even know what he did?

when he doesn't answer once again, she rolls her eyes, suddenly sick of this heartache that's quickly been happening for her — for the both of them. "i'm sick of this, james. if you wanted to be with nat, you should've just told me and ended this before one of us got hurt."

bucky only becomes more confused. "natasha? what the hell does she have to do with this?"

"oh my god," she mutters, only becoming more and more irritated.

"bucky, i saw you with her the other night, okay? along with everyone else."

his face fills with realization as she continues, "i don't know what you were doing. maybe... you were trying to get everyone off of our backs. or maybe you just couldn't find a way to let me down gently."

tears fill his eyes at the thought of her thinking that he doesn't want to be with her or that there's something going on between him and her best friend.

"baby, i'm not interested in natasha." he simply states, hoping that he can fix this before he causes any more damage.

[y/n]'s eyebrows knit together, creating a crease in between them, and bucky wants so badly to fix it.

"then... why were you flirting with her?" she asks meekly, not quite sure what she's supposed to believe anymore.

he chuckles, running his hands through his hair. "we were just laughing and talking — we were drunk, but nothing like what you're thinking of happened."

she stops short, her heart stopping. "so, nothing really happened?"

"nothing happened." he confirms and she deflates.

tears fill her eyes as she glances down at the floor in clear embarrassment and regret. "oh, god. i'm an idiot."

he laughs, walking over to her to cup her face in his hands. "no, you're not. you're just scared. just like me. right?"

she wordlessly nods, still emotional and embarrassed.

he simply nods and pulls her into his side, hugging her with her arms wrapped around his torso and his chin resting on the top of her head.

"looking at it now. last december. (last december). we were built to fall apart. then fall back together. (back together)."

the screaming match happening in the middle of the living room has gotten so bad that the rest of the team has gone out for dinner.

what is this about, you ask?

well, in a way the cat's out of the bag.

you see, most of the team, including tony and natasha, walked into the kitchen, catching bucky and [y/n] sharing a few stolen kisses.

they'd finally found out about their relationship. and most of them were just shocked.

but, a few others were pretty judgmental and critical about it, like tony.

and thus, leading them to the fight that's happening right now.

"i don't get what the hell you wanted me to do!" bucky yells, raising his hands up in the air.

"oh my god. you can't be serious right now!" she yells back, shaking her head at him in disbelief.

"i am! what the fuck were you expecting?! i was trying to protect us." he screams, becoming too heated, which only sets [y/n] off more.

"first of all, i wanted you to defend me! maybe defend our relationship when tony insulted me and our relationship! and secondly, you weren't protecting us! you were just protecting yourself — just like before!"

he rolls his eyes and scoffs. "why are you always turning this into something it's not?! i've been trying to protect our relationship since the beginning!"

"oh really? because it sure as hell doesn't seem like it!" she yells, her tears finally falling.

"you know what? i'm done!" she exclaims, taking a deep breath as she turns to one of the couches to grab her things.

"this was just a big mistake. and i can't fucking take it anymore." she mutters, but bucky hears it perfectly.

panic fills him, just as much as the guilt fills him.

"wait, sweetheart. don't go." he calls out, walking up to her as she starts to walk over to the door that leads to the exit.

"why?" she whips around to face him, her face red from the screaming and crying and her voice is croaky from said-screaming.

"why, james? all this has caused is pain," she mutters now, looking away from him. "we've had more pain and drama than we've had any good moments or happiness."

his face softens. "doll, that's not true. and you know it."

"look," he murmurs, grabbing her chin with his forefinger and turning her face, so that she's looking at him. "i'm sorry for the yelling. and for not defending you — i was just stressed. but, that's no excuse."

"please, just give us a chance. i promise it'll be worth it."

[y/n] sighs quietly, thinking for a moment.

after a few minutes, she can't help but agree. "okay. one more try."

he smiles, before pulling her into his arms and chest, hoping for something better for them.

[y/n], however, hugs him back with a stressed and worried glint in her eyes. is all of this pain really worth it?

"ooh, your necklace hanging from my neck. the night we couldn't forget. when we decided, we decided. to move the furniture so we could dance. baby, like we stood a chance. two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying. and i remember thinking."

bucky can't help the fond smile that forms on his lips as he admires the way his dog tags hang around his girl's neck.

even without makeup and wearing one of his henley's and her own comfy pajama pants with a messy bun, he still thought she looked absolutely jaw-droppingly beautiful.

something was shifting between them and he knew in this exact moment.

but suddenly, he's shaken out of his daze when she suddenly pushes the furniture away from the floor, along with some of the tables.

"babydoll, what are you doing with that?" he asks with a raised eyebrow, his body growing warm at the excited smile and the giggles that leave her lips.

"we're going to dance, silly!" she says, as if it's completely obvious.

"whoa, whoa," he says as she walks over to him excitedly and he lifts his hands up in the air, to motion for her to stop her actions.

"i don't dance. and also, there's no music." he tries to reason with her, but she simply rolls her eyes at him and grabs his hands and pulls him towards her in the middle of the floor.

"yeah, right. steve's told me stories about how you'd take all of your hookups dancing! and there doesn't need to be music!"

bucky chuckles, moving closer to her.

he puts his hands on her hips and hers around his neck, him unknowingly and unconsciously already starting to dance with her.

"we both know that you're more than just a hookup. so, i guess you're worth my terrible and lack of dancing." he says teasingly, waggling his eyebrows at her.

she laughs, unclasping her hands and pulling them away from his neck to cover up her flaming, blushing face and hide it from him.

he smiles, slowly pulling them away to see her face. "darling, i want to say you're gorgeous face."

she flushes even more. "it's not! you're just saying that."

his face changes into something serious. "yeah, i am just saying that because it's true."

she groans and rolls her eyes as she places her hands back around his neck.

"fine! you win," she mumbles, but she then says quickly and defensively, "just this one time!" when he smirks in victory.

and true to his word, bucky doesn't dance very gracefully.

but, considering the stories she's heard about him in the forties — back before all of that super soldier and nazi stuff happened — she chooses to believe that he only danced clumsily and silly to make her laugh.

"are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods?"

she tries to ignore both the concerned and judgey looks her friends keep giving her.

she'd just told natasha and wanda the truth about her relationship with bucky.

and to say they haven't been completely supportive is a big understatement — it's not that they're bad friends and could care less, it's more about the fact that bucky's been known to break hearts and they worry that their friend will be caught in the crossfire.

"what?" she asks, her voice coming out small.

"are you sure you want to do this with him?" natasha asks, raising a single brow at her in question.

wanda nods in agreement. "yeah. are you absolutely sure that you wanna get into a relationship with him?"

[y/n] scoffs in disbelief. "are you kidding me right now?" she asks, seeing the confused looks they share as they look at each other.

"we just mean that he's not exactly known as a commitment type-of-guy." wanda says hesitantly.

natasha nods. "it's true — he's broken a lot of women's hearts."

"wow," [y/n] mutters in further disbelief. "neither of you have any right to judge. we've all done things we regret! and let's not forget all of the hearts you guys broke!" she exclaims in a whisper as she suddenly gets up from her seat at the kitchen's counter table and marches up the stairs to her bedroom.

"are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet, good."

bucky knocks on the door gently.

he hears quiet sniffles and then a shaky voice say, "come in."

he tries to mentally prepare himself for what drama could be on the other side of the door — he doesn't mean this as an insult, it's just that so many people have been causing them and their new and blossoming relationship extremely complicated for them.

as he opens the door, his face falls at the upset and red face of his girlfriend's.

shutting the door softly, he walks over to her.

it's quiet as he crawls over to the other side of the bed and pulls her into his arms.

"why don't they support us?" she cries, her feelings being a little too hurt from the conversation that she had with her best friends.

he sighs, holding her tight, with his chin over her head.

"i don't know." he says, really not knowing either.

"it's going to be alright, okay?" he murmurs as she buries her face into his chest, crying even harder.

"are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods?"

"buck, i'm not sure this is a good idea." steve states from the couch, nodding towards [y/n], who's standing alone in the kitchen; she's numbly opening a water bottle as her eyes catch the scene of wanda and natasha talking and laughing on the far side of the kitchen.

bucky sighs, his gaze softening, before he turns back to face his best friend.

"what are you trying to tell me, steve?" he asks, giving him a tense — but pointed — stare.

"no offense, but you can't ignore the way you are with women," he briefly expains, continuing on when bucky stares at him silently, daring him to go on, "you can't commit to her, buck!" he whisper-yells, not wanting to catch anyone's attention with their conversation.

bucky scoffs, shaking his head at his best friend's judgement. aren't your friends supposed to not judge you?

"i'm sorry, bucky," he says, stepping up to stand with him. "i'm not trying to gang up on you — i'm just worried about both of you. and i don't want [y/n] to get caught in the middle of it, with her heart broken."

bucky scoffs again and walks away.

"buck!" steve calls, feeling bad for the way he approached this situation.

"no!" he yells, cutting any other words he could say off and catching the attention of everyone else.

"are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? in the clear yet, good. (are we out of the woods?)"

"hey..." [y/n] murmurs softly, walking over to the open hall that leads to the living room and kitchen.

bucky sighs, that anger still bubbling inside of him.

"it's okay, james." she murmurs softly, moving to gently touch his flesh arm and rubbing it comfortingly.

bucky groans, some of that anger dimming down a little bit.

but then, he remembers the conversation between him and steve and that anger comes right back.

he clenches his jaw, staring at the wall behind her.

she notices this again.

"hey, look at me." she murmurs softly, now cupping his face.

he sighs and looks at her this time.

"what did he say?" she asks, bringing one of her hands up and into his hair, in order to calm him even more.

he doesn't answer her.

although, he asks her a different question, "do you think that i've hurt every woman i've come into contact with?"

[y/n]'s puzzled now, her eyebrows knitting together as she tilts her head in confusion.

"what do you mean?"

"do you think i'll hurt you?" he asks, his voice wavering in unexpected emotions.

"what? james, of course not. why are you asking me this?" she asks seriously, grabbing one of his hands from across his chest to hold it carefully — the metal one.

he tries to ignore the dread and worry filling him at her holding his metal hand.

"so, you're not worried?" he asks again.

"i mean, i'm scared. but that's because of my own issues. it's not because of you — i know you would never purposely hurt me." she says truthfully, moving her other hand to cup his face, smiling softly at the ticklish feeling of the growing scruff on his jaw.

"you promise?" he asks, tears filling his eyes.

"hey," she says, stepping even closer to him and this time, placing both of her hands over his cheeks. "it's okay. i promise."

"remember when you hit the brakes too soon? twenty stitches in a hospital room. when you started crying, baby, i did too. but when the sun came up, i was looking at you."

it all happened too fast.

since [y/n] and bucky have been inseparable — especially with their friends seeing that nothing could tear them apart now — tony and steve decided to pair them up in a simple mission.

all they needed to do was go to a recently revealed hydra base and get some files.

but, the plan didn't go right. in fact, it all went terribly wrong.

[y/n] was supposed to go into one of the rooms to copy their files off of one of the computers with the thumb drive she brought with them, while bucky stood and watched guard.

but, things just went horribly wrong when something drew him away from the door of the room she was in — he thought it would only be a second, just to make sure he could be on top of any sudden attacks.

but, turns out, it was quite a few hydra soldiers trying to distract him.

and before he knew it, by the time he made it back — after finally getting the upper hand on the enemy agents and knocking them out — he came back only to see the door of the room slightly ajar and everything too quiet.

panic filled him as he walked into the room, lightly pushing the door open.

his jaw dropped when he saw another agent standing over a weak [y/n] lying on the floor, who was holding her abdomen in clear pain.

shaky gasps left her lips as she kept pushing herself further and further away from the smirking man before her.

but, before he could even take a step further to cause her even more pain, bucky didn't hesitate; he stepped closer and faster and quickly drew out his gun and knocked him out on the back of the head.

a shocked and pained groan left his mouth, before his body dropped to the ground.

and with that, he had ran over to [y/n] to help her up, panicking much more as he had finally realized what happened.

now as she lies unconscious, bucky continues to let the racing thoughts consume his entire being.

he holds her hands in his own, his chair scooted to reach her bedside and his head leant over their connected hands.

a sharp intake of breath and a pained groan draws his attention away from his intrusive thoughts.

he snaps his head up, his eyes filling with tears.

"james? what's... what's going on? what happened?" she croaks out, trying to clear her throat of the dryness.

"baby... you were shot." he murmurs, his voice wavering in worry.

"but... did we get the files?" she asks, only one thing on her mind.

he laughs. "doll, you got shot and you're more concerned about the mission?"

she shrugs. "i just don't want to disappoint anyone."

"you're not." he says honestly, holding her hands tighter.

after a few moments of silence, bucky dips his head down to take a deep breath.

"i really thought i was going to lose you, back there." he mutters, tears spilling.

"james..." she says, sitting up so that she can grab his chin and lift it up gently.

"it's okay." she whispers, wiping away the tears.

"it's not." he says, crying for the first time since she woke up.

"i know." she murmurs, smiling softly at him. "but, i'm okay."

he sighs and nods.

"remember when we couldn't take the heat? i walked out, i said 'i'm setting you free'. but the monsters turned out to be just trees. when the sun came up you were looking at me."

she couldn't believe what was happening right now — she's couldn't believe what she was hearing.

how could he do this to her? now? after everything they've been through?

"are... are you serious right now?" she asks, barely even a whisper.

tears fill her eyes over him refusing to look her in the eyes.

"tell me you're not serious!" she exclaims, suddenly standing up.

he stays silent.

"no." she says to herself, in denial and refusing to believe any of this.

he finally turns to her, his face cold and unfamiliar to her. "yes, i'm serious. i can't do this anymore."

she gapes at him, the tears filling her eyes — she's absolutely speechless.

but, when he turns around and starts to walk over to her bedroom door — to walk out — she springs into action.

"no! don't walk away — don't walk away from us!" she yells, racing over to him to grab his flesh wrist and stopping him from walking any further.

although, she knows that he can easily leave and escape her shaking hand — being a strong super soldier, and all.

he scoffs, turning to face her a cold look in his eyes — she couldn't recognize the man standing in front of her.

"i am walking away. it's for the better," he mumbles, before saying his next choice of words, clearer as ever, "we. are. done."

he walks out and as he slams the door shut, [y/n] can only cry and sob with heaving breaths as she falls to the ground — she can't believe he's done this.

maybe everyone was right about them — about him — this entire time.

"you were looking at me, oh. you were looking at me. (are we out of the woods yet?) (are we out of the woods yet?) (are we out of the woods yet?) (are we out of the woods?)"

she was miserable.

and so was he — he was just better at hiding it.

[y/n]'s quiet at game night.

everyone's crowded in the living room and the room is filled with loud chatter.

bucky's talking with steve animatedly, as if they never argued about [y/n] before.

seeing this, [y/n] ignores the blinding tears that are pricking at her eyes and turns away from everyone else.

she tries to make it through the rest of the night, but she can't.

she's abrupt as she gets up from the couch, from being smushed in between natasha and wanda.

she doesn't say anything in excuse from her actions.

instead, she starts walking down the hall to her bedroom, the tears finally falling freely.

"i remember. (are we in the clear yet?) (are we in the clear yet?) oh, i remember."

it's quiet for a moment as everyone watches the empty hall — the one that [y/n] had just walked through.

then, natasha stands up and walks over to bucky with a look of pure anger on her face.

loud gasps and yells sound in the room as the black widow slaps him hard on the face.

bucky is shocked, but also not.

steve stands up to hold natasha back. "alright, nat. calm down."

she scoffs. "why should i? he's the one that broke her heart!" she yells, still very much angry and protective over her best friend.

everyone else watches with shocked faces, except for wanda, natasha, steve, and bucky.

wanda watches in silent anger — she feels just as angry and protective, she's just more calm and quiet about it.

natasha is still just as angry as she glares at bucky.

steve is both bewildered, but not shocked at all.

and bucky? well, he's just filled with so much guilt.

"look, i know you guys will never understand," he starts, his eyes cast on the ground. "but, i did to protect her."

wanda scoffs. "to protect her? by hurting her? what the hell is wrong with you, barnes?!" she exclaims, jumping up from her seat and having just about enough of this, to just stay quiet.

he sighs. "you don't get it." he mutters, already giving up.

besides, why should he try to convince them that it's not what they think, if they're already assuming the worst of him?

"then explain it, man!" steve suddenly says, shocking everyone in the room — steve's always been in bucky's corner.

but, what can he say? [y/n]'s always been his soft spot — she's like a sister to him and he'd do just about anything to protect her, even if it's from his best friend.

"i'm trying to protect her from me!" he yells suddenly, millions of different wild emotions crossing his face.

"buck, what do you mean?" steve asks, slowly walking over to him, upon seeing the exhausted and pained look on his face.

"i'm bad for her, alright? you guys were right," he says tightly, motioning to natasha and wanda. "i am a piece of shit when it comes to committing to women. and ever since steve and i talked, i couldn't get it out of my head — i knew deep down that i was only going to hurt her and i couldn't do it anymore."

"but, don't you care about her? don't you remember those good moments with her?" steve asks quietly and gently.

"it doesn't matter. the best thing i can do for her is walk away." he says, rolling his eyes at all of their reactions.

"why are you guys fucking shocked like this? you all have been unsupportive from the very beginning!" he yells, throwing his hands up in the air.

before anyone else can say anything to convince him otherwise, he pushes past them and walks to his own bedroom.

"are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? in the clear yet, good."

weeks have gone past, but for [y/n], it felt like so much longer.

things have only gotten worse for her — the heartache of bucky walking out on her and their relationship has really taken a toll on her.

even as the red-headed ex-assassin talks to her, it all goes over her head.

natasha's voice feels muffled and far away as she feels completely haunted by the memories of bucky.

a shake to her shoulder brings her out of her daze. "[y/n]!"

"huh? what?" she asks, her voice blank.

natasha gives her a pointed look. "i'm serious. you need to talk to bucky."

she scoffs at hearing these words. "why? he's made it perfectly clear that he doesn't give a shit about me." she mutters, pushing back the tears.

the red head shakes her head. "i'm serious. i think he might be just as miserable as you are." she says, trying to persuade her best friend.

[y/n] glares at her. "why do you even care? you've been against us from the very beginning!"

natasha simply shrugs. "well, now i'm not."

[y/n] rolls her eyes. "how is that even possible?"

"because i've seen the change." she briefly explains.

[y/n] refuses to let those words change anything for her. even if her heart flutters at the thought of him changing himself or his mind.

"are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods?"

another party. great. another event i have to pretend like i'm not completely miserable.

[y/n] couldn't help the bitter thought in her head.

but, it seemed that things were only going to get worse.

one minute, she was talking excitedly with wanda and natasha.

and the next? she's feeling her entire body freeze up with her heart stopping as she watches something happen that she should've been expecting to happen soon enough.

how could she expect him to not move on so fast, when it was so easy for him to leave their relationship?

[y/n] gulps, trying to blink away the tears as she watches some mysterious, gorgeous woman leaning into bucky's personal space with a big smile on her face.

as if sensing her eyes on them, both of them turn to look over at her; the mystery woman with confusion and curiosity, and bucky with guilt and something else she can't decipher.

she shakes her head, walking away — away from the man that shattered her heart and her two, confused best friends.

"are we in the clear yet? (yeah). are we in the clear yet? (yeah). are we in the clear yet? in the clear yet, good."

she wishes she could actually kill herself just about right now.

how did she have the bad luck, to run into him in the kitchen? let alone with just them by themselves?

she's been able to avoid him whenever they've been surrounded by their friends, but this is the first time since their big breakup fight that they're really alone with each other.

"sweetheart—" he starts to say, but she cuts him off, holding a hand up.

—"don't worry about it. we broke up — it was messy — but i don't want to talk about it, okay? i just want to move on."

although her words come out as a lie, bucky believes it and it just about kills him.

he swallows his pride and every urge that he has that makes him want to come crawling back to her and get her back. "i just wanted to, uh, apologize for everything — i want to move on as well."

half of her was expecting that he was going to prove what natasha had said about him, but let's just say, she's extremely let down.

she fakes a smile, nodding. "right."

"yeah, exactly."

they both lie through their teeth.

"are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods?"

everyone watches the two as they talk quietly.

but, despite the fact that they are on talking terms, everyone can see that it's not the same.

"this is weird." sam whispers to steve, watching them with an amused look on his face.

steve sighs, frowning. "yeah. it is."

natasha turns to face them, blocking their view of bucky and [y/n]. "i thought he was going to get her back!" she whispers as she glares at them.

steve sighs, sharing a look with sam.

"well, he was," steve says, before sam finishes for him, "but then, she was talking about moving on and it really just ruined everything."

"man, she has no idea how whipped he is for her." sam mutters, steve nodding along in agreement.

wanda chimes in, frowning, "this is so painful to watch."

she nods to them, all of them quickly taking notice of how when one of them looks away from the other, they give the other a longing, sad look.

with that, wanda groans quietly, before getting up and walking away.

despite the both of them acting all content, both bucky and [y/n] are hurting deeply on the inside.

"are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? in the clear yet, good."

things had shifted recently — between [y/n] and bucky.

everyone could see it. just... not them.

things were still tense and they both were still hurting, but it was sort of bearable now.

"how do they not know? seriously!" kate murmurs, watching the pair giggling and discussing a book they have in common in disbelief.

peter — just as appalled — nods and points to kate, whole heartedly agreeing.

tony raises his eyebrows in shock. "i have no idea."

the rest of the group continues to watch confusedly as the pair become even more cute, if that's even possible.

a lot of them, like tony, yelena, clint, and some other watch in disgust, while some others watch in fondness.

"are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods yet? are we out of the woods?"

bucky watches intensely, jaw clenching and his baby blue eyes turning cold.

he shouldn't have expected them to get back to their old selves, especially after what he put her through.

but, watching pietro and [y/n] practically flirting right before his eyes, it completely shatters his heart.

he thought walking out on her to protect her was the worst thing he ever had to do.

but no. seeing her with someone else — right in front of him — that's so much worse.

"for christ's sake! barnes, go over there and get your girl!" tony complains, rolling his eyes.

bucky doesn't move his eyes off of the woman in the room.

he hears her laugh at pietro, and it kills him.

"i can't. she doesn't want me back." the words are hard to say, but he says them.

"that's a load of bullshit, barnes," natasha says, rolling her eyes when he turns to her in disbelief. "anyone with eyes here can see that she's completely in love with you."

bucky sighs, turning back to look at her again. "no. she's not."

"are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? are we in the clear yet? in the clear yet, good."

things were intense between bucky and [y/n], to say the least.

especially, after natasha marched over to her and pietro and pulled her to the side, and spilled how heartbroken and longing bucky was over her.

it must've been hours after that.

she left pietro to hang out with the rest of her friends, while she spent most of her time in her dark and quiet bedroom.

no matter what she tried to do — to distract herself — she just couldn't stop thinking about him.

knowing that he thought that she was moving on — that he thought that she didn't want him back anymore — it kept her up, all night.

even when everyone was asleep, she couldn't sleep.

so, instead, she walks out of her bedroom and down to the kitchen.

taking in a deep, shaky breath, she walks over to kitchen sink, trying her best to find a cup and the knob for the sink in the darkness.

although, before she can get her water, the kitchen light flicks on, flooding the room with brightness.

she whips around, only to find herself face-to-face with bucky.

"why are you up so early, doll?" he asks, trying to ignore how her eyes linger on his bare chest.

she looks away. "couldn't sleep."

when she looks back at him, and notices that longing gaze in his pretty blue eyes, she blurts it out, "i'm still in love with you."

he stops breathing for a split second. "what?" he utters in a mere whisper.

she takes in a deep breath, hoping to god that this is the right decision. "i... i can't keep this in any longer, james," she says as she puts her cup down on the counter and walks a little closer to him.

"i've been hiding this for so long. even in the beginning of our relationship, i knew that things had changed between us — and for the better. i knew exactly what i felt for you and it killed me when you walked out on me." she tries to say, her voice breaking as she recalls their messy breakup.

"sweetheart, i'm so sorry about that. i didn't mean—" he starts to apologize, but she cuts him off with a gentle voice, —"james, it's okay. i forgive you."

"how can you? i hurt you — exactly in the way that i hoped i wouldn't, like everyone was telling all of us." he interrupts her once more, the guilt absolutely consuming him.

she laughs, taking another step closer to him.

"because... i love you. i think i have from the moment we met." she says, tears in her eyes and giving him a happy smile.

"you saved me, bucky. i never thought i would find love again, but you showed me that i can."

he gulps nervously as she finally gets as close to him as she can.

"james, i'm so in love with you i can't breathe without you. and i can't be with anyone — not pietro, no one — unless it's you." she says, laughing with happiness as she cups his face in her hands.

his face fills with an insane amount of relief and shock. "are you serious? you're not messing with me?"

she shakes her head, now wrapping her hands around his neck, while his find their way to her hips.

"it's true, james. i love you — only you." she says with so much love in her voice, leaning her forehead over his.

he laughs, feeling both relief and the biggest amount of happiness and love he's ever felt before.

"i love you too, doll," he murmurs, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around her body to pull her closer to him. "i could never stop loving you."

she smiles. "you promise?"

he nods, before his eyes glance down at her lips, hers following quickly after him.

they're both fighting the urge to take things too fast, so fast.

but, with her missing him so badly, she lets herself lose control.

"bucky?" she whispers breathlessly.

"yeah?" he asks, his voice raspy.

"would you kiss me already?" she asks, laughing when he nods with no hesitation.

without another second wasted, he connects their lips and pours everything into that kiss — her doing the same.

maybe even after all that drama and heartache, they made it — they found their way back to each other.

bucky pulls away — far too soon. "i am never leaving you again." he promises, holding her head in his hands.

she scoffs. "you better not."

"never again." he swears, pulling her back in, to appreciate that he has her back in his life and in his arms.

she giggles in excitement as he pulls away and wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her up into the air and spinning them around.

her arms wrap around his neck as her legs lift up into the air as he continues to spin them around.

"god, i love you." bucky murmurs, moving his head to kiss the side of her head when he sets her back down.

"i love you too, james buchanan barnes." she says with brutal honesty.

[imogenisgod]

MAJOR EP C3 95 SPOILERS LOOK AWAY

Marisha, Matt, and Liam did such a good job. Marisha handling and rping for Laudna this episode was insanely good.

Her choices for Laudna where Laudnas mind is at right now made perfect sense. She believes she hasn’t lied, she is being gaslit, she is trying to protect those she loves, she is trying to protect Imogen. It was everything and so angsty and I choked the shit out of my stuffed animal while watching the whole thing.

It was absolutely even more heartbreaking when Imogen and her were on the roof. The repeating of i love you, asking if she’s still fun more than scary needing to know that what she’s doing didn’t ruin the one thing she is trying so very hard to protect. That love that’s also in Imogen making the poor girls heart shatter because she loves this woman but Laudna is sick not in an evil way, but a genuine sick way. An addiction way that neither of them or anyone knows how to control or help or aid in the slightest.

Matt’s voice syncing with Marisha was top notch! He did a great job and I think that entire scene will play in my head for awhile. From start to finish. Matt is an amazing story teller, amazing at balancing everything and going through the tension and making the angst so good. He genuinely has a brilliant mind. (The rest of the cats do to ofc)

Liam’s emotions as Orym were just as heartbreaking. I couldn’t help but understand him and also be mad at him. I am hella biased with how much I love Laudna, tho. I don’t think he was wrong, but at the same time I can see why it would upset Laudna of all people as well with or with your Delilah’s influence. But Orym was hurt so badly, he had his life shredded and torn apart because of this blade and reclaiming it for good, to fight against evil is a beautiful and growth filled thing to do.

What a brilliant fantastic episode! I genuinely think it’s one of my favorites in c3. It had a lot of things I’ve been waiting for, and things I didn’t even know I wanted. I cant wait for thé next episode, i am vibrating with excitement!

[wonuwrites]

Seventeen as Songs From “The Tortured Poet Department: The Anthology.”

A/N: this album is fucking amazing and has inspired me to write so much. So the way I’m doing this is giving a member a song + a lyric with a mini drabble. In future I might do Song Reactions for a few of these songs *cough* Down Bad and Fortnight *cough* but until then I’m doing it like this. If anyone wants more writing of said drabbles please request it 🫶

Also before I get to warnings let me just say: this is 100% fictional and not at all how I think any of the members are irl. This album doesn’t portray the make counterpart in good light that much (minus But Daddy I Love Him, The Alchemy, + So High School.) however I'm in a angsty af mood so I’m writing it. If you hate it, im sorry. I just have to write it to process my grief. ALSO: not all of them are going to be hella angsty but most will be because this album is unhinged

Warnings: angst (not everyone's though: 96 Line + Joshua is lowkey cute,), Jun's is NSFW so Minors DNI, mentions of alcohol, breakups, heartbreak, codependency, pledis, i also wrote some swear words so if you hate bad words: this album and my writing is not for you lmaoooooo

ღ S. Coups: The Bolter "With a quite bewitching face Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless Excellent fun 'til you get to know her Then she runs like it's a race."

Seungcheol woke up to an empty bed and couldn't help but sigh before rubbing his face. He let you in again, even after swearing to Jeonghan and Jihoon he was done. However, there was something about you that just kept him wanting more and more. He knew that you were never one for commitment because "Where was the fun in that? Commitment just is a recipe for getting hurt." He knew that trying to pursue a "bolter" was a lost cause but he just couldn't help it. He was madly in love with you and every time you left he felt more devastated than the time before. Every 11:11 he wished that one day you would let him at least try to show you that commitment could be a beautiful thing.

ღ Jeonghan: The Albatross "Locked me up in towers But I'd visit in your dreams And they tried to warn you about me."

Jeonghan knew the risks of dating you. You were what some people called a temptress and a "nightmare dressed like a daydream." He knew that there was a chance you would ruin his life and honestly, at the time, he was all in for it. He was sure he could call your bullshit however time showed that his bullshit was called out. He found out that what everyone said was not as true as they thought. He found you to be the most amazing person in this world so when you left he was heartbroken. You told him you didn't want to be what everyone said but you had to leave and you knew he would find someone even better in the long run. However, he saw you in his dreams, he saw you in faces in the street, he saw you everywhere. He missed you and wished you would be able to let him in so you could prove all of them wrong.

ღ Joshua: Fresh Out The Slammer "And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake here."

You looked around the crowd of people as you entered a familiar park. You knew this place all too well and your heart was racing. You just got out of six year relationship with someone you swore was supposed to be your forever person. However, you always unintentionally compared him to your first love, Hong Jisoo. For the past year, you were mentally checked out of your relationship because all you could think about was Jisoo. You took a deep breath before you sat down on an empty swing and waited. You waited for what seemed like five hours when the swing next to you was taken. You glanced over and saw Jisoo looking at you with a soft smile. Your heart started to race as you both made eye contact. It had been so long but he looked as beautiful as ever. Jisoo then leaned over and pressed a kiss against your lips while grabbing both of your hands. You smiled as familiar lips that felt like home brought back warm memories. You then put your foreheads together before awkward giggling. "Welcome home, (Y/N)."

ღ Jun: So High School "Your friends are around, so be quiet I'm trying to stifle my sighs 'Cause I feel so high school every time I look at you But look at you."

You are so head over heels for Moon Junhwi as was he over you. You both felt like it was a first love that you would have back in high school. All of the feelings you would feel back in High School came crashing back. One night when you were celebrating something with all of your friends and with his group members you both ran off into a closet and were just making out when it started to get more and more intense. You both were flushed and giggling as you both helped each other get undressed. He made sure the door was locked before attaching his lips back to you. "Try to stay quiet, baby girl," he would whisper as his fingers made their way to your nipples which caused you to softly moan into his lips. "Yes sir." A quickie would be good enough for now as you tried your best to stifle the moans and sighs that Jun was causing. If his friends knew what was going down, they kept it a secret from you but teased the hell out of him when you were gone.

ღ Hoshi: imgonnagetyouback "And I'll tell you one thing, honey, I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean."

Soonyoung and you kept crossing paths and it was honestly frustrating you. You both didn't have a horrible breakup but it still was a breakup that hurt a lot. It took everything to get over him and you swore you were over him. However, every time you saw him, you couldn't help but second guess everything. At one of these "crossroad" moments, the "crazy" in you came out after you kept making eye contact with him one too many times. You made your way across the room despite your friends trying to stop you and pulled him to an empty storage room. Both of your breath was heavy before you glared into his eyes and whispered, "I know you still want me, please come clean." This caused him to scoff before pushing you up against the door and whispering, "you first, baby girl."

holy shit, 100 notes and I will write a one shot for this one

ღ Wonwoo: But Daddy I Love Him "Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I'm his lady And, oh my God, you should see your faces."

A video of one of you and Wonwoo's first dates ended up getting leaked and soon dating rumors started spreading like wildfire. There was both positive and negative thoughts from both of your fans as expected but to be honest it was just "white noise" for both of you because honestly who gave a fuck what anyone thought. When both of your CEO's sat with both of your managers and you, they informed you that dispatch was working on an article "exposing" the truth and that's when you both realized that you both wanted to be the ones to tell the fans. You decided to post on instagram a mini reel of moments between Wonwoo and you saying, "the rumors are true. wanted to let you know before dispatch told you all." Once you confirmed, there was still some negative press but mostly it was positive which Wonwoo and you were both thankful for.

omg i wanna write a one shot for this too bc what!?

ღ Woozi: The Alchemy "'Cause the sign on your heart Said it's still reserved for me Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?"

Honestly, you were shocked to see Lee Jihoon brace an event like this. Especially, after all this time. It was not his crowd or in his comfort zone. You could see how nervous he was as he fiddled with his arm cuffs and nervous laughing to whatever his friend was saying. Based on rough memories you believed his friends name was "Kwon Soonyoung" but that seemed like many life times ago. It felt like a car crash when you looked at him because you couldn't turn away or look away. Memories of you both kept replaying through your memory. You just stared at the man who you once loved exist on the other side of the room. After awhile, he realized a pair of once familiar eyes were staring at him. He looked back and his face softened. It felt like a movie as you stared at each other. Neither of you remember who walked to who first but soon you both were sitting side by side at the bar laughing and recalling old memories. The hole that was in both of your hearts seemed to be patched up as the conversation progressed. When the night was over, he asked if you would be comfortable seeing him again and you couldn't say 'yes' quick enough.

ღ DK: Peter "And sometimes it gets me When crossing your jet stream We both did the best we could do Underneath the same moon In different galaxies."

"It will always be you, maybe one day we can come back together when it's not so crazy." That was the last thing you ever heard Seokmin say after you both agreed it was time to call it quits. Who's fault was it? Honestly neither of your fault. Neither you or Seokmin could say that you did not try. Of course you both tried. You both tried to make everything work but things were just too different and well 'crazy.' With his career, he was everywhere and vise versa. You both were just never in the same time zone at the same time. It was like this for months when finally it just fizzled. Time moved on, as did both of you, but when you looked out the airplane window and noticed you were flying over Seoul your heart couldn't help but mourn. You wondered what could've been. You wondered if he still laughed while clapping like a seal and if he was still sunshine for everyone he met. It broke you a bit to remember. "It will always be you, Seokmin," you whispered before closing the curtain of the window.

ღ Mingyu: Down Bad "How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded 'Cause fuck it, I was in love So fuck you if I can't have us."

"Kim Mingyu, you are a fucking coward," you whispered as you tried to hide your angry heartbroken tears from him. "(Y/N), trust me this is the last thing I want to do," he whispered with tears threatening to fall. Dispatch had found out about both of your relationship three days ago and the hate toward you was heavy. Delusional fans thought their beloved idol was cheating on them and you deserved to die because it was obviously your fault the 'affair." You were down to fight and continue forward but he couldn't handle the hate you were receiving and knowing there was only so much he could do. Fuck, maybe he was a 'fucking coward' but he was doing it because it would be safe for you. Who knows what saesangs could do to you. If anything happened to you, he would never forgive himself. He rather have you hate his guts then have you killed.

ღ Minghao: I Can Do It With A Broken Heart "I can hold my breath I've been doin' it since he left I keep finding his things in drawers Crucial evidence I didn't imagine the whole thing."

It has been about two months since Minghao and you broke up and it honestly has felt like a fever dream since it happened. Some days were better than others. You honestly thought today was one of the 'better' days but that was before you found one of his cardigans in one of your drawers and you just couldn't help but put it on and lay on the floor. You couldn't help but remember all the memories of him and you with this cardigan. Whether he was wearing it or you were. It was warm just like the memories and it killed you. You wrapped the cardigan around you tighter around you and just sobbed. You knew one day it would stop hurting, but until then, you were just going to run with the punches and try your best to do it with a broken heart.

ღ Seungkwan: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys "'Cause I knew too much, there was danger in the heat of my touch He saw forever, so he smashed it up.

Seungkwan knew he fucked up the moment he stepped foot into his house after breaking things off with you. Truth be told he was terrified of you. You knew him like the back of your hand and he knew you like the back of his hand. He saw a future with you. He saw you owning a dog, living in a house in Jeju, owning a dog, having one to two kids, everything. However, he wasn't mentally ready for that. At least at the time he thought he wasn't. Now that he was alone and realizing what he had done, guilt was eating him up. He lost everything because his own damn anxiety lied and said there was danger. There was nothing he could do to fix it now.

ღ Vernon: The Black Dog "I move through the world with the heartbroken My longings stay unspoken And I may never open up thе way I did for you."

Nobody understood you the way Hansol did. He had the manuscript on what made you tick. Like how you liked your coffee over exactly five ice cubes, how you would always whisper 'thank you' before eating any kind of meats because they once had a soul, and how you would blink twice before laughing at one of his jokes. So when he made the call to end things you wondered how on earth you would ever find someone who could handle your quirks and wouldn't find you strange. It made you feel abandoned and made you hate him so much for hurting you this way. When you expressed your feelings to your friends, they would tell you it would get better eventually. Eventually, whenever "Hansol" escaped your lips to them they would tell you to stop talking. That's why you just were silently heartbroken as you replayed everything over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

ღ Dino: So Long, London "You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof."

Your phone light blinded you as you stared at Lee Chan's pointless apologies. You both had been struggling in your relationship for the last five months. You thought things were looking up until one of your best friends delivered the heartbreaking news that they saw him kissing a new stylist that started working for them ironically when things started to go shit. You felt many things. You felt betrayed, you felt hurt, you felt sick, you felt embarrassed. He swore he loved you, he pinkie swore he loved you not even three days ago. However, you trusted your best friend and you saw visual proof which was more proof or clues on how much he "loved" you. Even though it killed you, you texted back, "So Long, Iksan." before blocking his number and preparing yourself on officially getting over him.

[zeltqz]

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄

+pairings - rindou haitani x fem!reader

+syn - the story on how you fell in love with your childhood best friend and reunite with him years later.

+genre - angst, fluff, smut, slow burn, friend->lovers

+word count - 8.4k

+cw - childhood friends, mutual pining, unresolved sexual tension, rindou and reader are stupidly in denial, and hella oblivious, heartbreak, abandonment issues, oral sex, body worship, drinking, no gangs AU, drunk sex (both reader and rin were out of it)

+rating - no underage consumption / 18+ only / dni if under 18 / ageless blogs dni

+taglist - @anxious-cherry-pie @sheeshizzy @sleeplessreader @magentaviolette @gajeelstan @nalyana

You first met Rindou at eight years old, when you were leaving your ballet class with your mother. On the way out, you peeked through one of the spare open doors to see a young boy practicing his splits in an empty room. Though it was only a couple of seconds you got a glimpse of him, you were already fascinated by the sheer fact alone that he could do the splits.

In your ballet class, no one could do them yet. You were competing with this other girl—the two of you being the only ones closest to the ground. You were determined to beat her, determined to talk to this boy and get him to teach you.

So you waited.

Your next class, a week later on Saturday, you told your mother to drop you an hour before your ballet class. You ran towards the door to the room you saw him in last time, but it was empty. So you checked the next one, then the one after that. Opening each door led to an empty one.

Fifteen minutes you’d spent searching through empty rooms. 

It’s clear he wasn’t here.

Your stomach rumbles loudly and you frown, all disappointed and hungry, as you walk to the entrance of the building over to where the vending machine is. Reaching inside your tiny backpack, you grab a couple coins you had taken from your piggy bank this morning and choose a chocolate bar.

Unknown to you, Rindou walks out from the bathrooms, dusting his clothes off and lining up behind you for the vending machine. You grab your bar and begin to walk away, not before catching a small glimpse of the blonde hair from yesterday, then you drop your gaze onto his face then scream.

“YOU!” 

It’s a miracle the floor was empty, only the receptionist at her desk typing away but didn’t bother to pay the two of you any attention. Rindou gets startled and flinches for a moment, before looking at you confused. “What?”

“YOU! You’re the guy from last week!”

You should really shut up now before you reveal that you’d been staring at him that one time, and now made it your life goal to search for him.

“What guy…?”

“The splits! You did them!” 

“Uhhh, yeah? So?” Rindou gives you one last look before reaching inside his pocket, grabbing a coin and putting it into the machine. You watch as a soda can drops out from the bottom and he bends down to grab it. 

“I—how did you learn how to do it? I really need to learn and I thought you could help me.” Your grip on your bag straps tighten as you wait for him to finish drinking his soda. It seems like forever, that one sip turned out to be him downing the drink for almost 30 seconds straight, all the while maintaining eye contact with you.

Just as he stopped drinking for air, your eyes sparkled, waiting for him to spill the secret, only for him to bring the drink back to his lips. 

He’s doing this on purpose.

“Hey! Stop wasting my time and tell me!” You’re so tempted to knock the drink from his hands and let it spill onto the floor, but one glance at the janitor mopping the floors on the other end of the room had you shaking your head, discarding your plan immediately.

Rindou laughs and removes his drink from his lips, forearm coming up to wipe the drops of soda from his lips. “Fine. I’ll tell you, but you cannot repeat the secret to anybody. Promise?”

You nod so fast you get dizzy. “Let’s pinky promise.”

“No. I don’t do that.” 

“Oh.” You feel a bit disappointed but don’t complain. He’s teaching you the secret to flexibility. You follow behind him with a smile as he walks towards the hallway with the rooms, throwing the can into the bin on the way out. The two of you enter an empty room and he closes the door behind him. 

“Okay, what now.”

Rindou looks at the clock, seeing it’s only 1:34PM. He knows most classes start at 2PM, so he doesn’t have long to teach you. He ends up showing you a couple stretches he does at home while he’s watching TV or playing board games with his older brother. The stretches hurt your thighs, but Rindou told you that’s how you know it’s working. But if the pain gets unbearable, then you should stop and take a break before continuing.

Taking his advice, you’d spent the next month doing those same painful stretches and it wasn’t long before you were the first person in your ballet class to ever do the splits.

You found Rindou at the park one day while you were hanging out with your friends. You didn’t keep in touch with Rindou, not seeing him at the leisure centre often, so once you saw him, you practically bolted towards him, all out of breath and talking way too fast for him to understand what you’re saying.

“Woah, calm down and talk slower.” 

You nod your head, taking a couple minutes to catch your breath before repeating what you had said earlier, about how you were the first one to do the splits in your class and you had gotten rewarded for it.

“Oh. It’s no problem.” Rindou smiles at you. You give him a toothy grin back and you’re tempted to hug him, but decide against it, not wanting to make things more awkward. 

Rindou had expected you to leave the second you thanked him, but was left confused as you stayed, eyes watching his every move with a smile on your face. “Are you here alone?” You ask him the question, looking around the park bench, seeing nobody else around him. 

“No. I’m here with my brother.”

You look around one more time and Rindou scoffs. “He’s not here right now, idiot. He’s on his way.”

“Ohhhhh.” You jump onto the park bench, resting your feet on the seats and sit next to him. “I’ll keep you company then.”

“Okay…” Rindou didn’t know if he was comfortable with this, but he never pushed you away or ignored you. He answered every single one of your questions that you’d asked him, trying to know more about him as a person. From your little questionnaire, you found out that he’s only one year older than you, he’s been doing gymnastics since he was 5 years old, he has an older brother called Ran, and lives with his single mother. He likes the colour blue—it doesn't matter the shade, whether light or dark, he loves it and even said he wants to dye his hair blue one day. You told him he’d look weird, he said that’s the point, and how he likes to stand out, which is why he loves doing the splits because it weirds people out.

His brother came around 10 minutes later, holding a plastic white bag in his hands. “Here, take it.” He lazily tossed the bag onto Rindou’s lap and you watched as Rindou dug through the contents like a mole digging through the earth. The smile on Rindou’s face when he saw the packet of jelly beans he’d been craving all week made you smile too. Rindou had a moody face most times, barely ever smiling or laughing, so to see this side of him over something so small made your heart twinge.

You were too focused on Rindou, and he was too focused on his candy, that you didn’t notice Ran scanning you up and down. “Who are you?” He asks after a moment and you break contact with Rindou’s face to look at his brother. If you had thought Rindou was tall, Ran was even taller. Long blonde hair into pigtail braids stopping around his mid shoulder. 

“I—uh—” You didn’t really know what to say. You can’t introduce yourself as ‘Rindou’s friend’ because technically, you weren’t friends. You barely spoke to him unless it regarded information about gymnastics and that was around a month ago. 

“She’s my friend.” Rindou speaks out for you, mouth full of jelly beans that made Ran’s face cringe up in disgust. But he was happy for his brother that he hadd managed to make a new friend.

“Cool. What’s your name?”

Rindou eagerly listened in too, waiting for you to say your name. It was then he realised he didn’t even know your name or anything about you. 

“Just call me [Name].”

“Nice name.” Rindou sends you a small smile before chomping down on the jelly beans again. Your friends, the ones you had arrived at the park with initially, approached the bench asking you if you were coming to the swings with them.

You shook your head and said you want to hang out with Rindou. They thought it was a bit weird at first. Hanging out with boys, but didn’t speak much of it and went down to the swings. Rindou was confused, why you chose him over your actual friends. But the outcome wasn’t so bad, because the two of you hung out even more often since then.

You were 11 years old when you’d dropped out of ballet and stopped doing anything flexible with your body. You’d just grown out of it. Rindou had also stopped, but it was a year before you. He was still insanely flexible that it pissed you off how he still had it in him even without stretching for all those years.

Puberty was probably the worst time of Rindou’s life.

Ever. 

It was then he realised he had some sort of feelings for you? He didn’t even know himself, it was confusing. When he had the talk with his mother about his body, and how he was ‘changing’, he coughed it up as bullshit, to which she punished him for swearing. But he didn’t take it back.

His mother gave him a list of things he wasn’t allowed to do with you anymore, like holding hands, sleeping on the same bed, and hugging. Rindou thought it was fucking ridicuous. There’s no way he just turned 13 and now all of a sudden everything is appropriate. Especially when you were his best friend.

He was extremely possessive over you, liking the fact he was your only male friend, because he felt favourited. Like you personally handpicked him to be best friends with out of all billions of guys in the world. You also felt the same about him. 

Rindou then realised why his mother told him a list of things he can’t do with you. Because you were also going through puberty aswell. He and his other friends had begun talking about suggestive topics, ones that shouldn’t even be in the minds of boys his age—but his one friend, Shion, had shown Rindou a porno magazine he stole from a store, and as they went through it, Rindou then realised exactly what his mother meant.

Because that same afternoon, when you had come to visit him, he shamefully found himself staring at more intimate personal areas of you, ones that not even a week ago, he wouldn’t even dare look at, or even care about.

Things became so awkward. For you, and for him. He couldn’t get you out of his mind, his young perverted mind practically objectifying you inside his mind every time he saw you, so he distanced himself from you. Barely spoke to you, barely came around to your place anymore. He hated the way whenever you tried to hold hands with him, he would instantly flinch as a reflex and retract his hand as if you had cooties, or when you’d hug him and he wouldn’t deepen it like he used to, instead patting your shoulder once before breaking the hug. 

You were sad about the situation. A part of you had a feeling this was coming because the entire friendship, all those years back, you never thought someone as cool as Rindou would ever settle with someone like you.You thought it was only a matter of time before he distanced himself and hung around more ‘popular’ people or whatever.

You could only imagine the surprise on your first day in college,when you saw Rindou again for the first time in 5 years. He looks so much different, yet the same at the same time. He was stuffing things into his locker as you mustered up the confidence to approach him. 

What were you going to say? It’s been five fucking years.

Five years before he abanonded you, left you without a single trace, not even an explanation. He just avoided you. Will he avoid you now? Is there even a point? Thoughts plagued your mind and before you even knew it, you turned on your heel and walked the opposite direction.

You were half way down the hallway before you realised your class was in the opposite direction. The direction you were currently avoiding because of a certain someone. You just hope and pray that on your way past, he doesn’t recognise you, or ends up ignoring you just like he’d been doing for the last 5 years.

It’s going well. Everything is going well. You think. Though your head is facing the ground, eyes are unsure what's ahead of you because you’re refusing to look up—he still recognises you.

“[Name]?” 

You practically freeze but don’t stop walking, fingers on your bag strap tightening as you count your footsteps in your head to distract your brain from the realisation that he recognised you. 

A hand tugs at your arm, and the numbers in your head come to a halt the moment Rindou stops you from walking. “Did you hear me?” 

Yes. You did. But you lie.

“Oh, I didn’t hear you. Hey…” It takes all your energy, but you look up at him. It’s the first time in years that you looked him directly in the eyes. He looks different. Way different. But those eyes are still the same. Those beautiful eyes that you always stared into when you were younger. His face is more defined now, which is normal because he’s 17 years old. His arms are more muscular now, concrete evidence that he’s been working out because he used to have very thin arms. His hair is now infact, blue, a colour you’d imagined in your mind the second he told you on that bench years ago his favourite colour is blue.

Rindou doesn’t consider himself an awkward person. He always speaks his shit upfront, doesn’t really have anxiety either. He and his brother were confident individuals, which is normal for boys who happen to get as much attention as they do now.

Yet, he found himself struggling to speak to you. It’s been years since he’d gradually stopped contacting you, a mistake he regrets even to this day. He didn’t mean to—he just felt so bad for you. He didn’t want to ruin your great friendship because his hormones decided to betray him. Things had gotten so awkward the moment he started thinking of you that way, and he knew things wouldn’t be the same.

Also because—he realised he loved you. He realised it at 14 years old, when all his friends were getting girlfriends, the only person he saw himself with was you. He tried getting a girlfriend—her name was Shiko. She was pretty, nice, popular too. Everyone at his middle school shipped them, but things just didn’t feel right. He found himself thinking about you during the span of their 4 month relationship. He even called her your name once, to which she was offended, but forgave him rather instantly. 

The moment he realised he loved you was the moment he knew he fucked up. Because you most definetly hate his guts now. He would hate you too if you had just stopped talking to him out of the blue with 0 explanation. 

He barely saw you around town either. You two went to completely different schools so that was also off the list. He missed you.

But was too scared to see you again.

Rindou looks at you now, throat dried and tongue-tied, thinking of words to say. On one hand, he was happy to see you again, excited almost. You’d grown up so much. You still look the same as you did, only your features have gotten sharper—a common occurrence of puberty. He’d recognise you in a huge crowd without hesitation. 

He keeps his eyes up, not wanting to make that same mistake he did when he was 13. He scans your face, trying to soak your features into his brain so he could replace that picture of 13 year old you inside his mind. 

“Hey… how’ve you been?” Rindou wants to slap himself. This is so awkward.

“I’m good. Yeah.” You try not to focus on the fact he still hasn’t moved his hand from your arm yet. You try not to focus on the feeling of his hands burning through your jacket sleeves, melting his handprint onto your skin. It’s hard, but you try your best. “How are you?”

You don’t want to know. 

Don’t want to know his life since he magically disapapeared from your life. Don’t want to hear about how much happier he is now that a loser like yourself wasn’t holding him back.

“I’m okay, yeah.”

“Nice.” You gently remove his hand from your arm and readjust your bag on your back. “Well, it was nice seeing you, but I got class now so—”

“Do you maybe want to hang out?” Rindou cuts you off, speaking without thinking the second he saw you about to leave. He wasn’t ready to see you go, not again. He doesn’t know another opportunity he would get to talk to you. Doesn’t even know where to find you after this. He’s not letting this chance go. 

Please say yes. He repeats over and over in his head as he watches you look down at the ground, weighing the pro’s and cons.

On one hand, you get to hang out with Rindou again. Your best friend. On the other hand, he did betray you—abandon you for 5 years without a simple explanation. You were so lonely, you didn't even make any other friends because none of them were as amazing as him. He had set the bar way too high and you weren’t sure anybody else could reach it.

It was fear; it kept holding you back and you weren’t sure you needed anymore mental strain on your mind. “I can’t—I’m sorry Rindou.”

He didn’t even bother to hide the disappointment on his face. Just as soon as you start walking again, he stops you. “Wait, can we please just talk? This weekend? I can take you to the park? Y’know…like old times.” When he see you bite your lip—an action you did when you were nervous or was deep in thought—he decided he needed to step up his game more.

Using his grip on your arm, he moves his fingers downwards—it’s a very risky move, but he’s all about risks—and holds your hand. “Please?”  

He knows—no, he hopes that his desperation is feeding into you, hopes that you can see how badly he wants you back in his life. The moment he held your hand, goosebumps erupted along your arm. It's a miracle you’re wearing a jacket right now, so you can’t embarrass yourself.

“Okay…we can talk after school.”

“Really?!” His face lights up, and you think it’s adorable.

“Yeah.” You quickly retract your hand from his own, stuffing it inside your pocket. “But I really have to go to class now, I don’t wanna be late.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you there, after school. Maybe 4? That good?” You nod and say no more, quickly rushing down the hall before you were late. 

Rindou spends the next hour or so preparing what exactly he’s going to say to you. You just make him so nervous, he’s never nervous to talk to someone, yet alone a girl. The second school’s ended, he’s heading over to the park, the same park he refused to visit and avoided all these years because of the sheer amount of memories flooding his brain the second he looks at it.

Rindou must’ve taken longer to arrive because by the time he gets there, you’re already there, sitting at the top of the slide as you scroll on your phone. Just staring at you was enough to get his heart pumping twice as fast. He climbs the ladder up the slide and takes a seat next to you. The area was so confined, both of your legs were touching and it left your faces heating up. You couldn’t look him in the eye, just waited for him to start speaking.

“Can you look at me?” Rindou’s staring at the side of your face as you look down at your hands, fiddling with the ring on your index finger. You stiffen when he asks that question, taking a moment before you lift your face up to him. You knew you both were close, but it wasn’t until your nose almost brushed  against his the second you looked up that it hit you how close the two of you were.

“I’m listening.”

“I’m sorry—for what I did back then. It was stupid of me to just leave you, I don’t know what happened—” A lie. He fell in love with you, that’s what happened, “I was so dumb back then, and I regret everything, I hope you know that. If I could go back in time, I’d never have done it. I really hope you can forgive me [Name], it’s an outdated apology—years overdue, but I want to cherish the time we have right now and maybe…start over? If you want to of course, it’s truly up to you, your the—” 

You begin laughing and Rindou has to stop talking because he isn’t sure whether to be angry that you’re laughing at him pouring his heart out to you in an apology, or whether he should be angry at himself, hating the way the sound of your laugh blesses his ears. 

“What’s so funn--”

“You’re stupid, Rin.” He knows you don’t mean any harm by it, because you’re smiling. He’s too busy focusing on the fact you called him his old nickname ‘Rin’ that he doesn’t see you leaning in for a hug. In the heavily confined space, it’s a little bit hard to get comfortable and hug you better without his elbows digging into the metal poles.

Rindou swallows, hard, the moment he wraps his arms around your body. It wasn’t enough. Taking another risk, he lifts you from his side onto his lap. You look up at him, confused, but words die inside your throat the second he deepens the hug. It’s much better now, having more arm room to fully wrap his arms around you, embracing you in his warmth. 

Any passerbys would probably be looking at the two of your weirdly, two kids hugging at the entrance of the slide, but none of you cared. You lifted your arms to wrap around his neck, resting your head just next to his neck, on his shoulders. He smelt amazing, so good that you found yourself closing your eyes, shifting closer to smell him better. 

This is creepy, you thought, but it didnt stop you. 

You aren’t sure how long you two hugged for; could’ve been 2 minutes, could’ve been 40 seconds. Time had stopped the entire length of the hug for the both of you. 

“Ran’s turning 20 in two months,” Rindou mumbles against your temple, his lips tickling your skin, “Do you want to come to his party with me?”

“I—I don’t know… parties aren’t really my thing, Rin. There’s way too many people there and I—”

The nickname again. 

“I’ll be there for you. I won’t leave your side the entire time.” He pulls away from the hug and you look up at him. “He’s gonna get alcohol, legally, since he’ll be of age, and it could be fun? You know, just both of us?”

“You won’t believe this—” You start, hiding behind a little laugh, “but I’ve never gotten drunk before.”

“What?” Rindou looks down at you, shocked. “No fuckin’ way—you serious?” He’s waiting for you to retract the statement but instead you shake your head.

“I mean it! For one, I could never buy alcohol, second, I dunno, I’m just scared.”

“Why are you scared?” He places his hands on the wooden surface behind him, leaning back to get a better look at your whole face. “Alcohol ain’t scary. Well—it’s bitter and strong, but nothing scary.”

“It’s not the drinking part that’s scary—It’s the fact that you’re not in control of your actions that’s scary.”

Rindou thinks back to all the stupid things he’s said and done all the times he was drunk and finds them more funny than scary. “The worst thing I did when I was drunk was get matching tattoos with Ran.”

“What?!” You shift on his lap to get a better look at him. “Tattoo? Where is it?” You lift his arm up, pulling up his sleeves and examine the length of his arm thoroughly for a better look for a tattoo. You also took the opportunity to get a better look at his build without coming off as creepy. His arm muscles tense under your grip and you have to bite your tongue. 

“It’s not there—” He chuckles, removing his arm from your grip. You watch with confused, wide eyes as his hand comes up to the hem of his shirt. He takes a moment before slowly pulling the material up past his stomach. From the second he lifted it, thick black ink appeared and as he lifted his shirt higher, the ink just kept appearing and your eyes followed the lines until his hands came to a stop. “There’s more—but I don’t think it’s appropriate to show it in public.” He exhales shakily, the muscles on his stomach tensing up as he watches your eyes examine all over his chest

He’s never felt self conscious before, not underneath your gaze. Your hand reaches out for a moment but you quickly retract it and look up into his eyes. “Can I—”

He’s silent when he nods; watching your fingers gently graze the tattoo from the bottom. Your lips are slightly parted as you run your fingers upwards, slowly, not even realising how much tension you’re causing him because you’re too engrossed in the tattoo, so many questions fill your mind the longer you run your fingers along it.

“Di—did it hurt?” You say the moment you reach the top, just where his fingers holding his shirt up, preventing you from going further. 

“I was drunk, so no. I can’t even remember it.” 

“Woah.” You look back down at it once more before biting your lip, deep in thought. Rindou would kill to know what you were thinking about—wants to know if you felt that tension earlier, if you were doing it on purpose to see how he would react, or if you were just genuinely interested in his tattoo.

“It’s only on one side.” You point out, “is it like a puzzle or something?”

Rindou shakes his head. “Nah. Ran has the other half.”

“Woah.” You repeat, genuinely impressed at that work of art on his chest. Your mind wonders, if you and him and remained friends all those years—would you have gotten that same tattoo with him? How would it even work—? 

“So—do you wanna come to his party with me? I promise, I won’t make you get matching tats with me if you get too drunk.”

You can’t help but smile. Fuck—you missed him so much, that you’re willing to head out of your comfort zone just to hang out with him more. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

During those two months prepartion for Ran’s birthday, you and Rindou used the party planning as an excuse to hang out with each other more often. He would walk you home after school, but since he was a year older, his classes ran on for an hour longer, meaning you’d wait outside his class for him. He’d take the train with you home, sometimes if you both were really bored, you’d walk the distance. 

This was only just the start. 

The start of your newfound friendship. The beginning of a new era. And god—were you excited.

His birthday finally rolled around and it was packed. It hit you just how many people loved Ran. His house is filled with random people you’ve never seen before, recognising a couple people, third years that go to your school. 

You take an earbud out from your ear, leaving it to hang low as you manoeuvre your way through the house, trying to find Rindou. You were wearing a simple outfit—but you had unknowingly grabbed the necklace Rindou’s mother picked out for him to give to you on your twelfth birthday. All the Rindouless years passing by made you forget about the necklace and its importance. But the second Rindou saw it, memories came flooding back. 

“You still have this?” Rindou points out about an hour after you had arrived, not knowing a proper way to bring it up. You turn to face him and the moment you do, he grabs the necklace, looping a finger around the simple chain. 

The action causes you to stiffen. He doesn’t break eye contact, waiting for you to answer the question. It’s not until you realise silent you’re being that you remember he was talking to you. “Oh! Yeah, I mean—I never threw it out.”

“Word? How does it even fit? It’s been years, no?” He doesn’t remove his fingers and to make matters worse, a very drunk and hyper person pushes past you aggressively, causing Rindou to grab onto your waist to keep you in front of him, not ready to see you get washed away into the crowd of very horny, drunk teenagers. 

The second you register his hand on your waist, your brain stops functioning. “It’s a pretty necklace—I didn’t want to throw it out.”

It’s not that pretty. The both of you know it. It’s just a simple silver chain. No jewel, no pendant, no diamonds.

 No, anything. 

It’s only pretty and special to you, because the person who gave it to you was pretty and special to you. Rindou gives you a smile before a random girl taps onto his shoulder, whisking his attention away. 

You can’t help but frown as you watch her whisper something into his ear. It’s awkward. It hit you how many girls actually like Rindou—and you can’t even blame them to be honest. 

Look at him. 

“Not today, I’m busy.” Rindou responds a moment after and the girl frowns for a moment before her eyes land on the birthday boy himself. She fixes the straps on her dress, and pushes her boobs up before fixing her face and heading straight towards him. 

“I hate it when girls do that,” Rindou says after a moment and you take your eyes off her form to look at him with an intrigued brow. 

“Do what?”

Rindou looks down at his drink and shakes his cup a little bit, watching the liquid swish around the walls of the cup. He lazily shrugs before continuing, “Thirsting over me and Ran. I mean—maybe he likes the attention, and I used to, but it’s getting annoying now. Like, I’m my own person, not just some sex object to satisfy you. Y’know?”

Rindou realises he’s ranting and instantly closes his mouth. “I mean, You probably get it, don’t you?”

“Get what?” 

He wishes your innocence was just an act, one you used to attract guys towards you, but these two months he’s spent you made him realise you truly were slightly innocent when it came to these sorts of conversations. Makes him wonder if you haven’t lost it yet. 

“The whole being used and stuff. Don’t you have guys after you?”

You shake your head. “Nope. I’ve never done that stuff before.” Rindou stops shaking his drink, fingers squeezing around the cup as he looks at you.

“You serious?”

“Yah.”

“Bu—but you—” You’re so hot , he thinks, but doesn’t say aloud. “Not even one guy wants you?”

“Jeez, when you say it like that, it makes me sound like a loner.” You say with a laugh at the end, but now you’re actually deeping the situation. You’re almost 19 and haven’t even had your first kiss yet. “Ohmygod, I’m going to die a virgin.” You say without thinking and Rindou watches you, confused, as you practically have a mental breakdown in your head.

“You good?”

“No! I mean, shit, I need to find a boyfriend, or at least lose my v-card before I turn 19, this is so embarassing, god—” 

“I mean—I coul—” He instantly closes his mouth, realising just how stupid that idea was. He just rekindled his friendship with you, now he wants to ruin it all because of a stupid offer. “Nevermind. And it’s good that you’re a virgin, y’know—” He stops talking because you’re not listening to him, he can tell by the way you’re biting your lip, probably thinking of a bunch of boys in your class you could potentially lose it to. 

He wishes you’d just open your eyes and look at him. He’s right there. But in your confused mind, you don’t think someone as hot and cool and Rindou could ever get with someone like you. Infact, just looking at that girl from earlier, it’s clear Rindou hooked up with girls like her before. All pretty and confident—things that you believed you weren’t.

So Rindou was off the hook. Not even a possibility.

“Dude, dude! RINDOU!” A loud deep voice startles you, and Rindou. Shion is practically out of breath when he places a hand on Rindou’s shoulder, using him practically as an armrest. “Ev—everybody’s downstairs—beer pong—” He says between breaths, then points a finger towards the door, “Go.”

“What?” 

“I said—” Shion finally gets his breath back, now standing up tall. “Everybody playing beer pong downstairs and they called for you.”

“Beer pong?” 

Rindou turns around to face you, completely ignoring Shion’s drunk ass. “Yeah, beer pong it’s basically—” You listen to him explain the rules of beer pong, the both of you completely ignoring Shion who keeps on tugging the back of Rindou’s shirt to get his attention.

“Fuck off, Shion. I’m talking.” Rindou punctuates his sentence by wrapping an arm around your shoulder, tugging you gently to his side. His voice gets a tad softer when he looks down at you. “Do you wanna play?”

“I don’t know…”

“Please? For me?” 

You find it difficult to say no—but you do anyway. “I can just watch you and I’ll cheer you on.”

“Nah. I want you on my team.”

“Stop fucking flirting. Are you playing or not?!” Shion is starting to get annoyed, scoffing loudly before heading back towards the door he entered through. Rindou looks at you one more time, the question still lingering on his tongue before you finally give in and nod. 

Rindou is smiling the entire way downstairs. By the time you get to the basement, you see a pool table along with around 15 people downstairs. The only people you recognise is Shion because of earlier. There’s two boys on the other end of the table, one with long black hair, one with crazy pink hair and scars. 

“He’s here!” Sanzu quickly points to the other end of the table. You both are being dragged to the opposite end of the table, you being in front as Rindou stands behind you with his hands on your shoulders. You were so fucking nervous. The cups were already set up in a triangle, half filled with beer. 

“Are you ready to lose?” Koko sticks his tongue out as he flips the coin, catching it on the back of his hand before covering it with his spare hand. “Heads or tails.”

Rindou squeezes your shoulders to get your attention before he whispers into your ear because the room was far too loud for him to speak at regular volume. “You choose.”

You turn around to look at him, ready to protest before someone is yelling ‘HURRY UP!’ 

“Tails?” You blurt out quickly, seeing Koko remove his palm from his hand. His face scrunches up in annoyance as he shows the coin facing tails.

“Yeah! Suck it, Kokonoi.” Rindou laughs from behind you before stretching along the table to grab the ball. “Throw it into a cup, just like I told you.” Your fingers brush together as you nod your head and take the ball from him. You toss the ball into a cup, only for it to bounce off the top and flop back onto the table.

You frown but quickly cheer up when you hear Rindou console you, telling you it’s common for that to happen. You notice Rindou never steps away from you to get a better shot, he stands behind you; his chest against your back the entire time, the close proximity is making you feel dizzy and lightheaded—and you haven’t even tried alcohol yet.

One hand on your shoulder as he makes his shot.

The game was more fun than you thought. Though you and Rindou lost because Sanzu was surprisingly amazing at aiming, you had drunk around 7 cups of beer, and you started to feel a bit lightheaded. You tug on Rindou’s sleeve to pull him down to your level to whisper into his ear. “I’m ffeel-feeling a bit dizzy.” 

“For real? Damn, you a lightweight, huh?” You furrow your brows as he speaks even though you’re barely registering what he’s saying. “I’ll take you upstairs, c’mon.” Rindou holds onto your hand, giving it a tight squeeze to reassure you that he’s there.

It helps and you drown out the noise of his friends screaming at him to come back and play another round. You drown out the loud blast of music coming from the living room, drown out everything, only registering the lock on Rindou’s bedroom door locking the moment you enter inside.

“Sit down on my bed, there.” You obey, even though the ground looked like it was about to eat you whole, you crossed the distance and fell onto his bed, sinking your face in his black sheets. 

You hear the sound of a fridge opening, looking over at Rindou who grabs a bottle of alcohol from his minifridge before coming to sit down next to you. “R-rrreally Rin? You’re drrinking more?”

“I’m not drunk yet,” He begins to pour it into a cup, “I’m a heavyweight, so I gotta drink loads before I get drunk.”

“Ohh,” It explains a lot, why he’s practically normal and functioning like a regular human being, unlike you, struggling to keep your eyes open but at the same time, feel a sort of tingling running down your legs that make you want to run around. It’s confusing.

“You wanna try some? You might like it, it’s better than that nasty beer.”

“Yyeah. That beer was really horrible,” You cross your legs and watch as Rindou passes you his cup. Sober you probably would’ve been a little too shy to drink from the same cup as Rindou—but you barely had time to overthink any scenarios. Gulping down the drink that in fact, tastes much better than that horrible beer.

“Oh my god.” You grab the bottle from Rindou and he watches you, amused, as you pour more of the wine into the red cup.

“Slow down [Name],” He tries to get you to drink slower, but you’re not listening, already gulping it down too fast.

You want to puke.

But you don’t stop drinking. It tasted…sweet? But also, really bitter? You didn’t know, all you knew was that your mouth loved it, and wanted more.

Rindou eventually could see that you were clearly drunk now, your tispy behaviour long gone now as you stare up at his ceiling and your fingers draw imaginary circles into the air.

It’s adorable.

You’re adorable.

It takes Rindou six more cups of that heavy wine before he’s joining you. The two of you are laughing at the ceiling. You aren’t sure what you’re looking at, but the room is spinning and you can’t stop laughing.

“Rinnn,” you stop laughing and sit up from the bed to turn and face him. He nods at you to continue talking. “Why did you leave me those years? Was it something I did?”

One thing you should know about drunk Rindou, is that he has no filter. 

“Cause I was attracted to you; jerked off to you, and had thoughts about you.” He places his hands behind his head and looks back up at the ceiling. “So I felt guilty, and just avoided you.”

“That’s it?” You frown.

“Yeah—? Wait, why aren’t you mad? Aren’t you all about feminism and that shit, not wanting to be objectified or whatver? Abolish the patriarcy, sexism whatnot?”

“I mean, I am. Fuck the patriarcy, but still. I don’t care that you did that to me.” You shift to lay down on the bed, propping yourself up on one elbow before turning to face Rindou. “Besides…I also thought about you like that.”

The world stops for Rindou at approximately 10:23PM on a Friday. 

“What?” He turns to face you, both of you don’t care about the close proximity, your nose brushing together as you both subtly lean in closer. “You did?”

“Yeah…only a couple times.”

“What exactly….” Rindou shifts closer to you, using one hand to lift your leg up to rest on his own, “did you think about?”

You break the eye contact only for him to drag your face back to his eyes. “Answer me.”

“I—” You swallow. Even though your mind is hazy right now—both of your minds are—you still feel the long forgotten anxiety come back the moment he asked you this. “I can’t remember.”

“When was the last time you fucked yourself thinking of me?” He’s so close. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up when you feel his lips brush against your neck. He’s not kissing you, no—he’s just waiting for the right moment. The second he hears you exhale shakily, he presses a kiss on your skin, slowly moving upwards to your jawline. “Answer me.”

“Last week—”

“Hmm.” Rindou hums against your skin, dragging his hands down your body to rest against your waist. “And you forgot, already?”

“Yeah…?” Your voice trails off into the moan the second he bites down against your skin. Your hands fly to his hair to keep him in place, subconsciously pressing him closer to your skin. “Fuck—that feels so nice.”

You moan again when he hums, the sound vibrating against your skin. You aren’t sure what came over you, but you’re pushing him onto the bed and climbing over his to straddle him. His hands instantly fly to your hips, keeping you atop his own as you lean down to kiss him. 

He meets you halfway, letting go of one of your hips to cradle the back of your head, but also to ensure you’re not going anywhere. He tastes a bit like a mixture of beer and that strong wine, but you don’t care. All form of sense overridden from the sheer fact alone that you’re straddling your bestfriend/crush while his tongue is currently down your throat.

You’re not sure where to put your hands, having his drunken kiss be your first, so you rest them aside his head, gripping onto the sheets of the pillow beside him. There’s a tingly feeling down there, that only grows stronger when you move your hips front to back, practically grinding against Rindou’s crotch.

The second your clothed cunt grazes his cock, he’s gripping you in place, moving you along his length at his own pace. His iron grip rocking you back and forth prevents your movements, and you slowly lose control of your own pleasure, but it gets amplified the second Rindou breaks away from the kiss.

“Take off your shirt.”

You nod, sitting back up straight and remove your shirt from over your head. Rindou’s mouth goes slack, slightly agape as he looks at his bestfriend in just her bra. It feels sinful and dirty, seeing you this way, a way he’s imagined for so long and never thought he’d experience the real deal.

“You’re so beautiful—” Rindou doesn’t waste any time, sitting up abruptly as he sucks more lovebites onto your neck. You throw your head back, allowing him more room and perfect access to your body. The feeling of his soft lips making their way from your collarbone—down to your chest makes you squirm.

“W-wait—” You call out and he pulls away to look up at you, confused to see if he’d crossed any boundaries. You reach behind yourself to unfasten your bra and he groans when he sees you naked, topless atop of him, for the first time. 

“Goddamn,” His lips are back onto yours, kissing you passionately and professionally. You wind your fingers into his long hair whilst he grips onto your right breast, kneading it in his big palms—tilting his head to readjust the positioning of the kiss.

You arch your back into his touch; also deepening the kiss. Rindou lets go of your breast and quickly flips your positions. The next thing you know, you’re underneath him, squirming under his heavy gaze. He rakes his eyes from your pretty face, down to your bare chest, all the while licking his lips—his brain thinking of 1001 ways to devour you.

He leans down to your chest, pressing soft kisses against your areola to tease you. The feeling of his nose brushing against your nipple had you biting back a moan. The air around it was so cold, you needed his warm mouth to fill it. “Rin…c’mon—please?” You breathlessly beg, eyes rolling back when he listens to your request, sucking a nipple into his mouth.

The sheer warmth had you arching your back upwards, forcing him to take more into his mouth, and gripping onto his thick hair strands. The sensation is amplified, tenfold, the moment  he flicks his tongue against your nipple, rubs slow circles with the tip of his tongue before pulling off, making sure his lips stay attached to your nipple until he’s pulled off far enough.

He repeats this with the other one; all the while tugging at the waistbands of your pants. You gently push him off you, raising your hips slightly so he can shimmy your pants down your legs. Tossing them somewhere on the ground, he lifts his own shirt up and over his head, and it’s then you finally get to see the full tattoo.

Rindou’s eyes widen when he looks back down and realises he accidentally shed your panties too along with your pants. He’s staring down at you bare and naked, and you’re about to close your legs from humiliation but he stops you—using both hands to spread you apart.

He mutters something underneath his breath, using two fingers to push your folds apart. The wet squelch made his cock literally jump in his underwear. “You’re so—so…wet.” Before you could even tell him to stop looking, he dives in, using his tongue to lick and suck at the slick coating your folds before sucking your clit into his mouth eagerly.

“God—fffuck—” Your voice was shaky as you gripped onto his hair, literally pulling the strands the longer you felt his tongue flick your clit at top speed. Rindou hums into your cunt, licking you up from top to bottom before tickling his tongue at your hole. It was hard to squeeze through, but he managed it well. The moment his tongue slid in, he grunts, hard, when you tug at his hair, uncontrollable moans leaving your mouth as he fucks you with his tongue.

“Rin—Rindou, I’m, I—fuck, gonna cum—I’m gonna—!” Rindou digs his nails deeper into your thighs, leaving crescent shaped marks on your skin as proof he was the first one between your legs. Your back arches as your muscles convulse and contract, practically drowning him between your legs as you cum.

Rindou retracts his tongue from your pussy and cleans you up, licking your folds a couple more times before shifting to your thighs, giving you a couple lovebites to further reinforce his presence before kissing his way up your perfect naked body, reaching the top as he kisses you sloppily. Your hands tangle themselves in his hair again, pulling him even closer to you.

After a couple more minutes of kissing, your hand trails downwards, tugging at the waistband of his pants. “Please, let me…” 

“No. I can’t—” Rindou tugs your hand away from his pants. It’s different when he’s giving to you, not taking from you. He can’t explain it. Even in his drunk, hazy mind, he knows it won’t be right to let you touch him like that, no matter how hard you beg.

“B-but I want to.” You sit up, pulling him back next to you. You lean down, giving him another kiss to distract him. He’s quickly melting into the kiss, cradling the back of your head to feel you more. You slide your hands down his body, into his pants and start to rub against his cock. 

Rindou actually groans into the kiss, breaking it to curse under his breath when he feels you play with his tip, rubbing circles along the slit. “Shit, [Name], keep going.” He leans back against the pillow and removes the stray hairs from your face as he watches your hand through his pants jerk him off, slowly.

You frankly, didn’t know what you were doing.

The two of you knew this was wrong. Not only are you bestfriends, but you aren’t supposed to be this way when you’re both not in the right state of mind.

You both knew but it didn’t stop you both.

You flop back down next to Rindou after making him cum. Your wrist aches, but it’s all worth it when Rindou snuggles up next to you, wrapping you tight in his grip and gives your bare shoulder soft kisses.

You weren’t sure what was going to happen next. A part of you wants to remember this moment forever, but when you wake up, you know last night would’ve been just a blur. 

***

i was too lazy to proofread it so ignore mistakes hehe....🙎🏽

reblogs are much appreciated thank you for reading to the end☹️