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#Hoping to do every character eventually!!
juniperskye · 2 days
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That’ll Show Them.
Based on the following ask: 🥰 yay!! Okay. (Deep breath), so the idea was basically either preschool or elementary school setting. Hotch being a sexy single dad has most of the single (and not!) Moms drooling over him. Y/N or Reader is a single mom, not one of those drooling but definitely sees that he's attractive. But her kid (girl or boy) happens to quickly become Jack's BFF and this causes natural interactions and conversations between her and Hotch over the next few weeks which makes the other moms salty and jealous, and she overhears them at one point speculating that she probably told her kid to befriend Jack just so she could get closer to Hotch. I didn't really think of an ending for it but just had an idea of a scene where she's trying to remain calm and unaffected while overhearing them talking about her and giving side eye. Maybe Hotch hears it too and comes to her defense? Or makes them even saltier by asking her out in front of them? 😈 @nyxwolph thank you for requesting this! I did adjust a little bit, so I hope you like it!!
Aaron Hotchner x Single Mom! Reader
Angst/Fluff
Word count: 3569
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, some explicit language, reader is a single mom, mention of divorce, school moms being shitty, mention of Hotch’s ex father-in-law being ill, no use of y/n, Fem reader, reader has no physical description other than being shorter than hotch, reader is mentioned/implied to own a shop (no details), gay best friend, Hotch starts work at 8am (idk what the BAU hours are lmao) let me know if I missed any!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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The moms were ruthless. You were barely three months into the school year and already you had been completely ostracized from the “mom group.” Part of you had assumed it was because the majority of these moms had all caught wind of your very public, messy divorce. The other part of you, however, knew that the main reason you’d been exiled was him.
Aaron HOTTIE Hotchner, as the other moms called him, had taken Ms. Jenson’s third grade class by storm. Meet the teacher night had been a frenzy of horny moms all praying their child ended up in the same class as Aaron’s son. There were hushed conversations and giggles, and hair flips all night long, you had felt bad for the teachers since their presentations had fallen second to the gossip travelling through the halls about the hot single dad.
“I heard he works for the FBI!”
“I heard he’s a widower. Could you even imagine?”
“Wow. He must be pretty amazing, a single dad and working for the FBI!”
“Can we be real for a moment and just admire how hot he is?”
“Did you see his hands?”
“Yes! Did you see his suit? I love a well-dressed man.”
They were vultures, every single one of them, and Aaron was their newest victim. He, of course, had been completely oblivious to the blatant flirting – he returned every advance they made with a kind smile or polite nod. And listen, you weren’t going to deny that Aaron was hot…you just weren’t trying to be like those other moms and gush about it at meet the teacher night.
Your being excluded by the class moms had only gotten worse since Jack and Millie had become friends. Millie had told you on the first day of school, that a boy had pushed her down on the playground, and before you could panic, she told you that a different boy…one named Jack…had helped her up. She said after that, they sat together at lunch and read aloud.
You could barely contain you excitement. Since the divorce, Millie had been having a tough time making friends – mainly because the moms told their kids to stay away. Your ex had been quite cozy with some of the moms at Millie’s last school and you had eventually found out he was sleeping with one of them. Once the divorce was finalized and you had full custody, you’d moved and that meant a new school for Millie.
Realistically that should’ve been the end of the drama, but it just so happens that the girl who your husband slept with…well her sister’s child was in the same class as Millie. He of course was the kid that pushed Millie down on the first day of school.
It shouldn’t have bothered you, their constant whispers…but it had you seething. This was an everyday occurrence now that you drove Jack home. The moms all waiting for dismissal engaging in hushed conversations about how desperate you must be.
“I bet she told her daughter to befriend his son.”
“What a sad way to get his attention.”
“Well, I mean, her ex did cheat���so she’s probably desperate.”
“She’s ridiculous if you ask me.”
This new development has begun exactly two weeks ago. Jack and Millie had been on their sixth playdate – this had been the first one Aaron had been able to host (due to work obvi) which had led to you staying and the two of you talking about how demanding his work schedule must be. He had told you it kept him pretty busy and that his sister-in-law had been extremely helpful, but with her father falling ill, she was growing increasingly busy.
“You know, I could drive Jack. If you’re comfortable with it.” You offered.
“I couldn’t possibly ask that of you!” Aaron panicked.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t ask…I’m offering. I already have to drive to the school to get Millie, I could grab Jack and the two of them could hang out until you are off work. And if your sister-in-law ever can’t watch him while you’re away, know that I am more than willing.” You punctuated with a kind smile.
“What if I take them to school, I don’t need to be at work until eight, and then you could pick them up? That way it is even. Obviously when I’m out of town, which wouldn’t necessarily be possible, but I could coordinate with Jess and…” Aaron was spiraling.
“Aaron. If you want to take them to school when you’re in town, that would be great. That would allow me the time I need in the shop before opening. When you are out of town, if Jack is staying with me, I will take them to and from school – if he’s with Jess, she doesn’t have to worry about Millie okay?” You suggested.
“You’re a godsend. You know that?” Aaron said, a smile growing on his face.
“Yeah well, Jack has been an incredible friend to Millie, and I would love for them to spend more time together. Plus, the house has been so quiet and, I don’t know. It would be nice to have the kids there.” There was a slight cringe that was brought with the insinuation of your divorce.
“I appreciate it either way.” Aaron gently nudged your shoulder.
So, for the last two weeks, Aaron had been driving the kids to school and you had been picking them up. He shockingly had yet to be called on a case…but you knew it was only a matter of time.
Aaron was called away a few days later, he had let you know that Jess would be watching Jack. That had sent a tinge of pain right to your heart. In truth, you were attracted to Aaron, and the more time you spent with him, you were starting to fall for him. You tried not to focus too much on the fact that he’d sent Jack to stay with Jess…chalking up to the fact that Aaron probably didn’t want to burden you – even though he could never.
You didn’t hear from Aaron until nearly two weeks later.
A: Hey, we just got back from this case. I’ll pick Millie up in the morning for school. Are you good to pick up Jack after?
Y: Hey! Yeah I can pick them up tomorrow. I have to take Millie to get her cleats and shin guards for soccer, is it okay if Jack tags along?
A: I totally forgot soccer starts next weekend. If I sent some money in Jack’s backpack could you pick up his stuff too?
Y: Of course! Will you be late tomorrow?
A: Probably, after a case like this, there’s a lot of paperwork to be done. I will try to be there by 7pm if that’s okay.
Y: 7 is fine, we will get homework done and I will feed them and have Jack all ready for you!
A: Thank you. Seriously I don’t know what I’d do without you.
The next day you arrived at the school at 2:45 pm to pick up the kids. You parked your car like always and stood in wait with the other parents. You were checking your phone to see where the nearest sporting goods store was when one of the dads approached you.
“Hey, is Millie ready for soccer to start?”
“Oh, hey Scott! Yeah she is so excited! What about Macy?” You questioned.
“She’s nervous, but she told me she was glad Millie and Jack were playing too. Michael was really bummed that the girls weren’t in a class together this year.” Scott explained.
“I was too! How is Michael? We should all have dinner some time!” You suggested.
“He’s good, and I am sure he would love to have you and your new beau over for a meal – I will talk to him when we get home!” Scott beamed.
“New beau…what are you talking about? Do you mean Aaron? He and I, we’re not…” You stuttered.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay! You should be bragging to all those bitches that you bagged the hot DILF! Don’t let them spoil something good for you hon.” Scott gently squeezed your arm.
Just as you opened your mouth to reply, the kids came running out. Macy ran to hug her dad while Jack and Millie made their way to you. Both kids hugged you and then said their goodbyes to Macy. You moved to grab their hands and guide them to the car, but not without catching the glares from all the moms. They must’ve heard Scott and you talking…and while you and Aaron weren’t dating, it didn’t hurt to let them believe it for a bit.
After getting the kids soccer gear, you took them home and got them started on their homework and gave them some apple slices. You checked a few emails, changed the washer and dryer, and wrote up your grocery list in the meantime.
When they were done with their homework, you checked their work and then quizzed them on their spelling words. By then it was nearly 5:30 pm, you set the two of them up in the living room with a coloring book and some Legos while you got dinner started. You made some grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans – for the kids, you added some cheese to the potatoes and cut up the chicken – setting that on the table for them alongside a glass of chocolate milk.
“Kids, time for dinner!” You hollered.
“Coming mom!” Millie called.
You were about 10 minutes into dinner when a knock sounded from the front door. You excused yourself and walked over to let Aaron in.
“Hey, we were just having dinner, can I get you a plate?” You offered.
“Oh, as long as it’s not an imposition!” Aaron replied.
“Aaron, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s not an imposition. I like having you around.” You stopped abruptly, embarrassed that you’d let that slip. “I mean, you know, it’s nice that Millie and Jack are friends…I uh. I…”
“I know what you mean. And I like having you around too.” He said, finally stepping fully into the house.
Aaron placed a gentle hand on the small of your back to guide you toward the kitchen. You plated him up some food and he joined you at the table, sitting right beside you. You couldn’t help the growing heat that bloomed on your cheeks as his arm brushed against your own. The room was filled with the playful chatter of the eight-year-olds that sat across from you, giggles escaping them as they recounted the events of their day at school.
Glancing over, you noticed the joy radiating from Aaron’s expression. You hadn’t seen him this genuinely happy in all the time you’ve known him, and you wonder if it is because he doesn’t get to relax like this often. The thought allows your mind to drift even further – splaying images of cooking for the four of you all the time, of late nights cuddled with Aaron and even further into the future, welcoming a new child to the family you’ve curated…only it's all in your head.
“You alright?” Aaron whispers. His warm breath against your ear causes a chill to cascade across your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, just lost in thought.”
“Hey mom, is Jack’s dad going to be my new dad?” Millie posed, causing you to choke on the bite of chicken you’d just taken.
“Woah, sweetheart you’re okay, just breathe!” Aaron patted your back gently. “Here, take a sip of water.”
Taking a swig, the chicken makes its way down. “Mills…baby where did you get that idea?”
“Well Rain said that his mom said that you were moving in on Jack’s dad, and I thought that if we were moving in, then that would make him my new dad!” Millie smiled.
It was Aaron who choked this time, only it was on his water, causing some of it to certainly escape through his nose. He pulled his napkin to his face as he coughed in an attempt to clear his airway.
“Aar…breathe.” You returned the favor of patting him gently on the back. “Are you okay?”
He answered with a nod and allowed a chuckle to escape his mouth before looking up to meet your gaze. Aaron wasn’t ignorant of the fact that the other moms had been eyeing him since the beginning of the year, he just hadn’t realized that they’d gone after you due to your budding closeness.
“Millie, Rain’s mom is just kidding. Jack’s dad and I are becoming good friends, like you and Jack, and they don’t like that, so they’re saying some not so nice things.” You explained.
“Oh…okay.” Millie said, a small pout gracing her features.
A pout that pulled on not only yours, but also Aaron’s heartstrings. He allowed himself a glance in your direction and took careful note of the hurt and disappointment that flashed across your own features briefly. Was it possible you felt more than you were letting on?
Six days later you received a call at four in the morning. It hadn’t been the thing to wake you up, but it came as a surprise, nonetheless.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I just got a call about a time sensitive case and Jess is dealing with her dad. Would you mind taking Jack while I am away?”
“Aaron, of course! Do you need me to come and get him?”
“No, I will get a bag together for him and drop him off on my way to the office. I am going to leave you with a key to my place just in case Jack needs anything. Thank you for doing this, seriously it means a lot.”
“It’s really not a problem, I will have a bed made up for him by the time you get here.”
“Thanks sweetheart, see you soon.”
With that, Aaron hung up, and for the second time you were taken by surprise at the pet name he so casually referred to you by. You had to remind yourself not to swoon. It wouldn’t do you any good to get into your thoughts about the meaning behind his slip of the tongue.
Jack Hotchner was the most wonderful child you have the privilege of knowing – aside from Millie of course. He was polite and he listened with no pushback. He helped Millie with her chores (cleaning up her toys and putting her clothes in the laundry basket), he didn’t complain, and he just exuded this kindness and joy that brought an extra bit of warmth to your home.
You could see Millie becoming attached and you feared her heart would break once Jack had to go back home. You only hoped that she’d understand that although Jack’s presence isn’t currently permanent, they’d still get to see each other all the time.
Jack stayed with you for five nights, Aaron surprised you all by showing up with a pizza on Saturday evening.
The three of you had been cuddled up on the couch watching Inside Out 2 when the doorbell rang. You shuffled over to the door in your sweats and fuzzy socks to see Aaron standing there in a quarter zip and jeans. Good God, he’s never looked so good.
“Aaron!” You couldn’t hide your excitement.
“Surprise! I brought pizza, I hope cheese is okay.” He inquired.
“Cheese is perfect.” You confirmed. “Kids, dinner is here!”
“Dad!”
Jack ran to embrace his father. Millie, however, stormed off to her room. You were quick to throw Aaron an apologetic glance, before following her down the hall.
“Mills…what’s wrong honey?”
Millie replied with a grumble in her pillow and a shake of her head.
“Baby, I can’t help if you don’t tell me.”
“It’s not fair. Jack doesn’t have a mom, and I don’t have a dad. But when you and Mr. Aaron are together it feels like a normal family. How come you guys can’t just be together?” Millie cried.
“Oh, honey. It’s not that simple bug. Mr. Aaron, well he’s a busy man and I just…” You trailed off.
“Don’t you like him?”
“Mills, yeah I like him, but like I said, it’s not that simple. Even if he liked me back, that wouldn’t just make us a family, it would take some time for us to get serious and then we’d have to decide if that was the right step for us.”
“It is the right step! You guys like each other, and Jack and I get along…mommy it’s perfect! You could be Jack’s mom and Mr. Aaron could be my new dad.” Millie said matter-of-factly.
“Oh honey, is this about your dad?” You pulled Millie into a hug.
“No! He wasn’t nice to me like Mr. Aaron is. Mom I want Mr. Aaron to be my dad.” She whispered as tears stained her cheeks.
“I know honey, me too…me too.” You pressed a kiss to her head. “Baby lets go have some pizza and enjoy our time with Jack and Mr. Aaron, yeah?”
“Okay.”
That night, something shifted. Aaron and you had begun spending more time together, going to soccer practices and games together, taking the kids to the park, the movies, pottery painting places, dinner at your house, game night at his. Aaron had also exclusively been asking you to take Jack while he was away on cases – claiming Jess’ father was getting worse.
Two months passed like this, and things had started to feel very domestic. Millie was asking more and more about Jack being her brother and Aaron her father and you had to explain that even though they weren’t related, even by marriage, that friends could be considered family too.
Once again you were taking care of Jack while Aaron was out of town on a case, only this time it was a little different. Your car was in the shop, so Aaron had let you borrow his car, and today was the last day of school before winter break. The schoolyard was buzzing with anticipation of the final bell, parents were discussing their vacation plans with one another while waiting.
You has been talking to Scott and Michael when Becca approached you.
“You know, I think it’s a sick thing you’ve done, using your daughter to help you prey on a vulnerable man.” She hissed.
“Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about?” You shot back.
“Aaron. You had Millie befriend Jack and for what so you could trick Aaron into going out with you? It’s truly despicable behavior. He’s a good man and he deserves someone who is genuine.” Becca spewed.
“I don’t know where you get off, talking to me like that, but I can assure you – ”
“Becca, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t speak to my girlfriend that way. She is the kindest most genuine person I have ever met, and every day she shows me how much she cares for and loves Jack and me. So back off, and maybe don’t speak on things you don’t know anything about.” Aaron bit as his arm snuck its way around your waist, pulling you flush against him.
“I KNEW IT!” Scott shouted.
Becca stormed off with a huff and you turned around to see Aaron wearing a shit eating grin. You couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with disbelief at the fact that Aaron was here right now, he’d stuck up for you, and he’d called you his girlfriend. Yeah, you were fairly sure your brain had short circuited.
“Girlfriend?” Your gaze lifted to meet his.
“You know, I’d been meaning to ask.” He grinned down at you. “What do you say?”
“Yes! Of course!”
Aaron closed the gap between you and captured your lips in a kiss. All the while the moms scoffed and huffed in disbelief that you truly had taken Aaron HOTTIE Hotchner off the market. And before you had a chance to pull away, Jack and Millie came bounding over just in time to catch the last bit of your kiss.
“Does this mean Mr. Aaron can finally be my dad?” Millie asked.
Aaron leaned down to Millie’s level “Mills, I would love nothing more than to be your dad, but we have to take things slow okay? Your mom and I have a lot of grown-up decisions to make before that can happen, so I need you to be patient. Can you do that for me?”
“I can do that!”
You leaned down in front of Jack, wanting to ensure he’s included in all this. “What do you think Jack? Would you be okay with me and your dad being together? It means you and Millie will be together a lot more often.”
“Will you eventually be my mom then?”
“If your dad and I choose to get married eventually, then yeah, I’d be your stepmom.” You explained.
“I think you’d be a really good mom.” Jack wrapped his arms around you.
Aaron and you may have only just made things official, but in the last five or so months, you’d both fallen for each other. Sometimes, things are just right, and all the pieces fall into place naturally. And for the first time in a long time, you couldn’t wait to see where this leads.
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chaosduckies · 2 days
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Congratulations on 100 Followers!!! Big achievement!!!!
Gonna take you up on your open commissions so I’d love to see your take on a tiny being forced to ask a giant for help.
Your choice of characters but I’m a sucker for hurt comfort so go wild ❤️
Congrats again!!!
Thank you! :D
I'm sorry that this took so long to get out! I was having a minor writing slump but I'm back at it! I did have a lot of fun writing this and I hope you do to! (classic borrower asking a human for help)
Word Count: 4.2k
CW: Minor blood
Snow Fall
———Forest———
Everything was going great. I set off on my own, leaving my parents behind and starting my new life. Of course I was scared. Who wouldn’t be when you were two inches tall and leaving everyone you know and love? It was terrifying, but I had to. Borrower children, even though some were some-what good at borrowing from humans, were supposed to leave their parents as soon as they turned fourteen since it was a liability for their parents. I was just lucky and extended my stay for 3 more years. What could I say? I loved my parents just as much as they loved me, and no matter how many times my mom pleaded for me to stay, I knew I wasn’t that good at borrowing. I would eventually get us all in trouble. Which was why I decided to find a new home when I turned seventeen. It didn’t sit right with me that I was still leeching off my parents. 
Humans were scary. The horror stories, the pets, the kids. Almost everything about them scared me half to death. Just thinking about getting caught in one of those huge hands has me shuddering. I couldn’t think about myself getting caught, or what would happen to me, and to be honest, leaving my parents was the worst decision of my life. 
I wasn’t a good borrower to say in the least. I could barely hurdle over the counters without somehow hurting myself or becoming so sore the next day that I could barely move, I wasn’t the best at hiding. I had no idea how my parents did this at such a young age, but I wasn’t like them at all. How did they end up with such a failure like me? I laughed at the thought. 
My new home was nice. The human here had a schedule that I could work around. They left for work every morning, giving me plenty of time to get a little bit of food that they leave out sometimes, get some other things, and head back. They weren’t very observant of anything in particular, perfect for grabbing a few extra paperclips since my hook usually breaks from my own misuse. This house was perfect… or so I thought. 
After a while, the person stopped laying out food everywhere, they had started packing up their things in huge boxes, people in strange uniforms came by and dragged out anything heavy. I had no idea what was going on, but it wasn’t good. I stayed hidden in my home in the walls, scared of what was happening. I was too scared to go out at night and get my daily necessities, like food and water. Humans were terrifying. If I was seen by even one of them, who knows what might happen? I didn’t care if I was so hungry that my stomach was digesting itself, there was no way I was going to get caught and placed in some weird science lab. Testing me everyday, killing me slowly. I shuddered at the thought, wrapping myself in the thin cloth I managed to snag before any of this moving was happening. 
Lately the seasons have been changing, and the human that I thought was still living here hasn’t bothered to turn on the heater. This only made things a million times worse for me. I was already hungry, practically starving from not having eaten anything for the past three days, and now it was freezing cold. There was nothing I could do about it though. I was terrified. Scared. Too paranoid about what would happen if I stepped outside the comforts of my dingy home in the walls. No matter how much I wanted to go back with my parents, I couldn’t. More because I barely even remember the way back home, but also because it was already dangerous enough getting to this new home. I had no choice but to stay here in hopes that I could get over this fear of being seen and that the human had left some kind of food out. But there was no such luck. The house was empty. Furniture moved, heater off, no sign of food in the cabinets. Just nothing. My hope diminished as I sluggishly walked back home in defeat. There was no way I was going to survive. 
The human that I found so easy to maneuver around without being seen, that left food out, was now gone. Who knew when another one would just move back in? Most days I would walk around out in the open because there was nothing to do. I mean, without a human there was no chance of me surviving. I was too afraid to go outside because I knew there were animals that wouldn’t hesitate to mistake me for food. So staying inside was really my only option. Plus, it was just the slightest bit warmer here than outside. 
Sometimes I’d go sit on the windowsill, stay there for hours watching these tiny white balls fall from the sky and cover the ground. People passed by wearing thick coats that protected them from the harsh cold, and I couldn’t help but feel jealous. I looked back at the thin piece of cloth wrapped around me, barely giving any warmth while humans were able to be so warm, get food without having to worry about anyone seeing them (or in my case get food at all), heck, they weren’t even scared of anything. 
I sat alone, in a quiet house just waiting for anything to happen. I didn’t care if it was good or bad. I didn’t know how I was surviving for so long, nor how I was still moving despite searching the top shelves and countertops desperately for something. But of course it was always the same way it was. Empty. Nothing was changing, but in a bad way. 
My legs were sore from the amount of climbing I’ve done the past few days, my body was getting even weaker than it already was. I guess I really was going to starve to death, huh? All of that talking with my parents about making sure I would have enough to last me and it’s just wasted. How was I supposed to know that only a week after I found a new livable home that the human I was just barely getting used to was going to move out? Life wasn’t fair. 
Today was yet another sad, depressing day. I dragged myself along the floor, trying to at least be active while I was struggling to survive. Would another human be coming here soon? As much as they scared me and borrowers alike, most relied on them to help us survive. When they’re clumsy and forget easily, it’s easy to “borrow” a few things here and there. They leave food out or there’s an easy way to get into a cabinet, we can take a few things they wouldn’t notice. It was almost impossible to live without relying on a human in some way. Ironic how the thing I fear the most was the thing that was keeping me alive. 
I hoisted myself up onto the windowsill, breathing heavily as soon as I was safely up. I groaned in pain, wrapping up my hook and sitting by the window, once again staring at the white scenery. Other houses just across that had a slight smoke coming from the top of their house. Must be warm… I rubbed my arms, watching as a few people walked by, possibly on their way to work. I shivered, regretting not taking my “blanket.” 
Life wasn’t fair. I knew that much, but I forced myself to stay alive for whatever reason. My figure was getting slimmer from the lack of food, but I somehow kept moving. It was cold, but I gathered up any cloth I could find and wrapped myself up at night. My hook looked like it could break at any point in time, but it was hanging on just like me. If my hook did break, then there was basically no way for me to get anywhere but home and on the floor. I hoped that something would happen one day, but nothing ever did. 
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught something gray scurry along the floor. I stared for a couple long seconds before shrugging it off and continuing to look out the window. It was probably just my imagination. Great, now I’m hallucinating. I sighed, watching as cars carefully passed by. 
I don’t know how long I stayed on top of the windowsill, but eventually there was a change of scenery. At first I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but there it was. A car parked right in front of the house, headlights turning off and revealing a human, zipping up their jacket and looking down at something and back at the front of the house. I was too caught up in my fascination to realize that I was out in the open. The human slowly started making their way up to the front door, holding something that looked silver in their hands. 
I scrambled for my hook, climbing down as fast as I could, which was very painful. At some point I lost my grip and fell, but to my luck it was only a couple feet. I hurried to my feet, pulling my hook from the ledge it was dangling from and ran as fast as I could to reach the extremely tiny hole I squeezed myself through. I took a few seconds to catch my breath before the front door opened. My eyes were wide, my heart pounding fast. Would my luck finally be turning around? 
The human was taller than the last and looked much younger. I couldn’t really get a good look at their face, but I could make out his dirty-blonde hair. I could hear my own heartbeat. Is everything going to go back to normal? Would I be able to survive on my own again? 
The human moved around the place, shivering and pressing some buttons on something. Soon enough, the house was slowly but surely being warmed up. I let out a quiet sigh of relief. It might not be much… but at least it was something. Better than the frigid cold that had been filling the house for who knows how long. 
They moved around the house, checking everything out and smiling, their eyes a nice shade of light-brown. They looked… so nice. For a split second my mind wondered what would happen if he would ever see me. Would he keep me as a pet like I’m pretty sure most humans would? Or… nothing? No, why would I even be thinking about that? He would obviously want to hurt me even more than I already was. 
My stomach rumbled quietly, I winced, but confused to watch as they came from outside and back in, carrying a few boxes, bags and a small case that had wheels on it. Was I finally… saved? If this human was moving back in then I could actually have a chance to survive? I silently cheered to myself. How long has it been? Almost a week maybe? How did I even manage to stay alive? Didn’t matter anymore I guess. 
I continued to watch the human, putting up things in the boxes, setting up a few mini tables and placing picture frames of him and, who I was guessing, his parents. Of course occasionally taking breaks for a snack or two, leaving a plastic container filled with what looked like fresh fruit and vegetables. After most of the boxes were unpacked, a few still in their bedroom, he went back outside, most likely to fetch something else from his car. He usually took a while out there… so maybe it would be enough time to go and quickly grab something to eat? No, that was too risky. What if I was wrong and he came back early? I doubt I’d have enough time to find a hiding spot while out in the open since he didn’t exactly have any furniture or anything. 
I slumped, making my way back to my bland home in the walls. I had always tried to decorate… but since there hadn’t been anyone living here for me to “borrow” a few things from, I haven’t been able to decorate. Only the small bed I made by gathering up a bunch of cloth that the human before had forgotten about. It wasn’t extremely comfy, but better than anything I could’ve asked for. Otherwise, boring room. But it’s not like I need to decorate it anyways. Surviving was my main focus right now, and now that there was someone actually living here now… maybe I’d have a chance to get back into things. 
The wait was long, hearing the human talk to someone on what I think they call a phone, hang up, set up their house again and spend most of their time gathering up all of the blankets and pillows that he had brought with him and gathering them all up in what I think was going to be his room. As comfy as it looked, I knew I couldn’t just take a couple of minutes to get somewhat comfortable. Lately every night has been spent cold, hungry, filled with false hope. If I could just take a couple minutes to have some kind of sense of safety and security, that would be great. But I haven’t been able to, and I doubt that I’d be able to even now. I never realized just how hard it is to survive. Imagine what my parents went through while taking care of me… 
I hugged my blanket close, my eyelids threatening to close at any second. I heard the sound of the door open once again, and the loud sounds of him dragging something across the floor. It was all fine for me though. My eyes shut close, I laid down, and soon enough my mind drifted off. 
——————
When my eyes opened, there was a quiet noise of people talking outside. My heart had skipped a beat, thinking that there were more humans living here. That would make it impossible for someone like me to get past without being noticed, but as I groggily stepped outside, rubbing my eyes to wipe away the sleep, I realized that it was only the tv that wasn’t there a couple hours ago. 
I looked around the dark room, seeing that there was now a singular couch in what was the living room, a tv, a table that held two more frames. How long had I been sleeping? Or better yet, just how exhausted was I? Obviously the sun had already set, so I guess it didn’t really matter. I headed back to my room, grabbed my hook, and took off, every now and then finding a hiding spot just in case the human was somewhere I couldn’t see him. 
My head turned towards a dark shadow scamper right across from me, but I didn’t pay any mind. Probably just my imagination, right? Right now I was just trying to make sure that the human was asleep right now just before I go and see if he had any food out… or at least something edible in the cabinets. 
I checked the living room first, hiding by one of the legs under the couch, peaking my head out just enough to see him having trouble keeping his eyes open. Good enough for me. I ran quietly back to the kitchen, throwing my hook as far up as I could before testing if it was safely secure. I started my trek up, my arms and legs begging in me to go back down. Despite my arms threatening to tear off from the lack of strength. I really wasn’t good at borrowing. 
As soon as I reached the top of the counter, I took a few seconds to catch my breath. Once I get used to the human’s schedule I may finally be able to get back into things. No going hungry for that long, not worrying if I’ll make it to the end of the night. as soon as he turns on the heater things would be even better… I wouldn’t be shivering at night and struggle to find something that would act as a blanket. Yet another reason to be jewels of humans. They had everything borrowers didn’t. It wasn’t at all fair, but we all knew what would happen if a human found or saw us. The thought was pure torture to even think about. Literally. 
On the counter, there really wasn’t anything for me to see except for the half-eaten sandwich just lying on the counter. I silently walked over, not really wanting to eat part of the sandwich that they had already bitten into but I had to unless I wanted him to already be suspicious when it hasn’t even been a full day. 
I started cutting off pieces, making them fit inside my bag and taking a few more unnoticeable pieces for tomorrow, learning from past mistakes. As I was cutting, I realized that there was something off. The tv was still on in the other room, I figured that the human still hadn’t left the couch either, fighting off sleep. So why did it feel so off? I treaded carefully, watching every tiny movement that caught my eye. For a moment it was so quiet that I could hear my own heart pounding in my chest, and then too quiet. 
My eyes searched around, taking my final piece into my hands since no more would fit in my bag. I might as well grab as much as I could. Better than having nothing. I let out a sigh of relief, grateful that I wasn’t dead, that I’d at least have some kind of way to survive. Out of curiosity, I took a small bite out of the sandwich, only really getting the bread part but it tasted so good. To be honest, a sandwich was a definite score for borrowers, now when you’ve been starving for days on end, it tastes amazing. 
Two glasses hit each other behind me, I turned my head seeing them spin before returning to their still pose. My eyes widened, hurrying to my hook that was still hanging off the edge of the counter. I looked back, the light making it easier to see a rat chase me down, easily twice my size. I let out a yelp as I ran through several spice glasses in hopes of losing it, only to hear them all fall onto the counter with a loud thud! That was bad for two reasons, one because not only was it making a mess and trails that I’ve been here, and two, because I knew the human would want to come and investigate what was happening. Of course being the person that I am, I would never be able to run faster than this  surprisingly malicious rat. 
I struggled to keep up my balance, eventually tripping on thin air, dropping the small piece of sandwich a few feet away from me. I quickly rolled over, my chest heaving up and down as I faced the rat not even given a second before they scratched at my shirt. I winced, holding my stomach and seeing my hand covered in some blood. My breathing was getting more heavy as I saw a silhouette by the kitchen entrance. The lights turned on, blinding the rat for just a second as I quickly stood up and kept running towards my hook, holding my stomach. I knew what was happening, and there was no way I would be found the second a new human moves in, right? I blinked back the tears building up in my eyes, tripping once again. My vision was blurry from the tears, and judging by the small squeaks from the rat I thought was a good couple feet away, that meant that the human was here. 
Forcing myself to sit up, I looked at the bowl that kept moving. The rat screeching to be released from their prison. The human placed some heavy books on top, sighing to himself as he muttered something under his breath I couldn’t catch, but I didn’t really care. I scrambled back onto my feet, trying to run yet again and slammed into something soft and squishy. I winced as I fell and soon my entire world was moving again, the soft surface now everywhere. 
It settled in my mind slowly, realizing that I was in human hands. It hurt to breathe from my new wound, but I couldn’t help it. Tears streamed down my face as I struggled to muffle the sounds of my quiet cries. 
“Oh! U-um, I didn’t mean to…” Their voice sounded quiet and worried. I just continued crying, not even caring what would happen to me. Who was I kidding? I could never have survived on my own! I should’ve known when that first human moved out. Sure it was okay at first, but obviously them moving was a sign that I wasn’t meant to be on my own. I should’ve listened to my parents and stayed with them. This would’ve never happened, I would be alive and healthy instead of on the brink of death and in Death’s hands himself. Literally. Who knows what this human would do to me? It was scary to think about. 
“P-Please don’t h-hurt me.” I mumbled most likely too quiet for his ears to hear, leaning against what I think was his thumb. He flinched slightly, but why did it feel so… comfortable? 
“Aw little guy,” He smiled softly, “I’m not going to hurt you, okay?” I leaned into the warmth from his hands, hugging what was his thumb closely, still crying to myself. What else was I supposed to do? Of course I was scared but… I also just wanted someone to hold me. Right now I didn’t care that it was a human and I’d face my consequences later, I just wanted to be promised that I wouldn’t have to try so hard anymore. That I could just live without thinking about what I could manage to get for dinner. 
“You were just… hungry?” He asked as I picked my head up, seeing him looking straight at the piece I had dropped on the counter. I shakily nodded my head, hoping he would see. For now, I would just hide my fear. Right now this human was giving me everything I’ve wanted this past week. Comfort, warmth. Heck, I’m even crying in front of him. How embarrassing was that and he still hasn’t said or asked me anything. 
“Hm, here little guy.” He tried tilting me back onto the counter, but I grabbed onto his sleeve and hung on tighter. I didn’t want to be let go already. I know humans are bad and I’d face the consequences eventually, but right now I’d like to think that not all of them were as horrifying as the stories make them out to be. 
He softly laughed, cupping both hands around me again. I sniffled, “C-could you… h-help me? P-please.” I tried wiping away my tears, but they just kept coming. My eyes felt red and puffy, my legs felt like jello, heart racing. I was a mixture of emotions. Terrified, filled with hope, and most of all grateful that this human hadn’t decided to hurt me yet. 
The human studied me, worried. I stood still for a moment, hoping I would get my answer. It seemed ridiculous to be asking a human this. One that probably had no idea that they had saved me in the first place. My heart thumped in my chest, waiting in the eerie silence, awaiting my answer. My stomach still burnt from the deep gash, but I've had to go through worse. There was still some blood that was getting on the humans’ shirt sleeve, but that was the least of my worries. 
I felt something rub against my back, making me flinch, but lean into the gentle touch. Some part of me knew that this was wrong. Everything about this was wrong. I was sitting in a humans’ hand, talking to one, being seen by one. And for some reason, it all felt right. Everything felt right. That this was meant to happen. That it was alright for me to be vulnerable to this human. 
They started moving their hand as I continued to cry, pressing my face into the fabric of his shirt. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a makeshift hug. I could hear his heartbeat in the background beating rhythmically, the slight rise and fall of his chest with every slow breath he took. I sniffled, shocked from the gesture but otherwise grateful. I wasn’t going to die. I was alive. I felt safe. There was no more suffering, no more false hope, no more anything. I would be fine. I smiled to myself, trying to wipe away the tears trailing down my face. 
I guess sometimes it’s okay to ask for help. 
——————
I hope you enjoyed! I don't know how to feel about this myself, but I think it's alright! Again, I had a lot of fun writing and thank you for the prompt!
Slowly getting out of my writing slump, hopefully get these prompts done plus something reallyyyy exciting (well at least it is to me)
Thank you for reading! :D
Taglist: @da3dm
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cotl-flower-crown · 3 days
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Going on hiatus*
*Well, kinda.
Hey, I'm gonna start this post with "omg, this blog has more than 2 followers, what the fuck?? That's crazy!". I don't usually look at numbers, because I don't want it to be a focus on my platforms, but just know that I appreciate every single one of you and I hope that you all enjoy what I'm doing here. Like at the moment of writing this there is 2277 people that decided they want to look at my art more and it makes me very happy, thank you! ^^
So uhh yeah, hiatus.
Not gonna lie, the past few months has been stressful for me and I have reached the point where my chest and stomach are in pain and I can't get enough sleep because of it, among other things (damn you mosquitoes!!!). It's something that happened before and it might take me months to recover from it. So I suppose you could say that this hiatus is mainly for the health reasons.
Though it's also because my gut is telling me that it's time to move on from this fandom to do other things.
Hear me out. It's not that I hate COTL now, far from it, I still love this silly cult game and I will follow what MM has to offer for this game in the future. I am just kinda not keeping up with myself when it comes to posting. I've been trying to post about my favs at least once a week, but honestly it's been a struggle to pump out anything at all lately. It's not that I don't have anything to post, I'm just tired and burned out.
So yeah, I think it's time to put this blog on hiatus for the time being. What I mean by that is I don't want this blog to be the top of my priorities and I want to take it easy.
I don't want it to go completely silent though. I'm planning to open my ask box again, because I miss interacting with everyone. However I will not do any art requests or draw anything for the asks in general. If I do, it will most likely be poorly drawn or it will be something related to character design, since that's what I'm most comfortable with, but I would prefer not have to draw at all. Though I am open for writing. I also wish to draw sometimes, so maybe I will post some artwork when I feel like it. I'm just not gonna post as often as I used to. It might take like a month (maybe two, maybe three, etc) before I decide to make anything.
What's the future of this blog? I am not sure yet. There is a chance that eventually I will abandon this blog entirely OR I could repurpose it for fanart in general. To be honest I'm leaning towards the second option at the moment, but that is a future me's problem.
I think that's all I've got to say right now. Again Thank You everyone who decided to follow, reblog and like my art and leave comments, I appreciate it all, and thank you to my moots and friends that I made along the way, I love you all (plat/non parasocial) and I hope this will work out.
TLDR: I'm going on hiatus, but not completely silent, also ask box open, but no requests
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babyboydaniel · 7 hours
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you can only chase a butterfly for so long | daniel ricciardo x max verstappen
warning: angst | word count: 570
since i am still trying to deal with what happened, i decided to write a little something to just work through some of it. so please read at your own risk. it will all be okay, even if right now there doesn't seem to be any hope.
As the morning sun slipped through the gaps in the curtain the unbearable weight of tomorrow fell over him. The emotional turmoil that was yesterday was a thing of the past, and now all he is left with is the aftermath of that storm. Though he was wrapped in the warm embrace of his boyfriend, the iciness lingered beyond the surface level. The unforgiving frost worked its way between his ribs until it pierced his heart. This was supposed to be his second chance. A moment to do it over again, and it was never supposed to end like this. End it such uncertainty that felt so final. 
His body and mind ached from the battering. His eyes filled with tears as they streaked down his face attempting to wash away the pity-filled words that were thrown at him. He tried to keep his body from rocking with sadness and prevent the sobs of betrayal from breaking through his lips, wanting to keep this moment to himself. Max did not deserve to be woken up by him in this state. But, Max was always so perceptive even when asleep. He was aware of even the most minuscule shift in his mood.  
“Daniel,” Max began, his arms pulling him impossibly closer. 
“I’m sorry I woke you,” Daniel responded, his voice thick with tears. 
“Oh, baby,” Max whispered as he pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, “No need to apologize. I am here for you, always.”
Max’s words floated over his skin, providing pockets of warmth for him to sink into. For many years Daniel had Max by his side. Whether that was as teammates, rivals, friends, and eventually partners, it is the one thing he will never take for granted. Even through all of the blatant betrayal and pure disrespect, he would do it all again if that meant he got Max. 
“I want you to know that you are so loved. Loved by me, by your family and friends, and by so many others. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I will be right by your side as we work through it.”
Daniel nodded as more tears fell, unable to form any more words. Tired of defending himself, tired of proving himself, tired of showing up and pretending that all was good, tired of the false positivity, tired of having his character questioned. It wore him down until he could no longer fight. 
“We will take our time because you deserve nothing less. This fucked up decision is not a reflection of you. It was never about you, and you were too good for the bullshit they put you through. You are always too good, Daniel. Most people don’t deserve you,” Max continued as he pressed delicate kisses along his shoulders. 
Daniel shifted in his arms until their chests were pressed together and their eyes met. Max’s blue eyes which were usually so guarded were laid open. Every emotion and feeling was on display, leaving nothing for Daniel to question. His honesty was apparent and his love and adoration were overflowing that if he wasn’t careful he could drown in it. 
“I love you,” Daniel stated. It was an absolute, a fact. 
With the gentleness of handling a porcelain doll, Max reached out and brushed his thumb along his cheek. The tenderness caused his heart to ache in a completely different way. “I love you too.”
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lazywitchling · 14 hours
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“So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?”
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(Yes I did just order a pot pie from the chicken fast food place. I’m watching 12 hours of movies, I ain’t cooking a whole pot pie!)
Okay. Look.
When I was younger, my cousin bitched about elves at Helm’s Deep not being in the book, but I didn’t think it mattered because it’s cool and I liked elves and it made me the fun kind of sad when Haldir died.
But now I get why. (I mean, ultimately it’s a fictional story so it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of life, blah blah, you get the drill. I will complain about this, but I don’t care if you like it, ya dig?)
So here’s the thing. Theoden’s whole storyline throughout this movie and into the next is that he does not believe anyone will help him. Gondor could have come to save his people, but they didn’t. Rohan was left on its own, and people died, and that sucks. So Theoden has succumbed to the depressive thoughts of “We’re all gonna die anyway, why bother fighting?” (Hey that’s a major— actually THE major point of this whole story!!) He has hidden his people away to hide because he knows fighting is futile because they will be alone.
It’s a big deal when he agrees to go out and fight alongside Aragorn as the Uruks are about to overwhelm the keep. I said last year, Tolkien’s brand of hope is the difference between “I only have one hit point left :(“ and “I still have one hit point left >:)” Theoden STILL has no reason to believe help is coming, but he chooses to act like it is anyway, because the alternative is just curling up and dying right there. And he is rewarded, because Gandalf shows up with reinforcements!! Eomer, who has every reason to hate Theoden, brought all the riders to help! Everyone is saved! Hooray!!
But the damn elves show up in the middle of Theoden’s “Aw nobody will help us :(“ thing. And then elf help arrives. And he goes “Yay, help is here!!” And then nobody really mentions the elves again except for Haldir’s brief dying scene, and Theoden is right back in his “Aw nobody will help us :(“ thing. It just slaughters the pacing of the story, and Theoden’s arc along with it.
Furthermore, the elves say they were sent by Elrond, who has chosen to have the elves fight alongside mortals once again to honor old alliances! Except that Elrond isn’t really participating in this portion of his own character arc, and in fact doesn’t reach that “idk maybe mortals aren’t so bad after all” point until RotK. So it’s somehow fully out of character for him at this point even though he’s not even there.
ADDITIONALLY, it fucks up ARWEN’S story, because the whole thing with her is that she has to choose between sailing to the undying lands and being with her people forever but losing Aragorn, or staying with Aragorn who will eventually die and then she has no one left and no way to get to the undying lands and will never see her family again and will just live until the heat death of the universe. See, I’m pretty sure (don’t quote me on this) that there’s like… a respawn thing that happens with Tolkiens elves. They’re not only ageless, they’re unkillable. They CANT die. That’s why Arwen’s choice is so difficult. She couldn’t even live out life with him and then jump off a bridge after he dies so she doesn’t have to see the heat death of the universe. She’s literally stuck.
But friggin Haldir takes a sword to the head and has a sad death moment, and then I’m left wondering why everyone is pestering Arwen so much. If elves can die, then she has no problem.
I’m pretty sure it messes up other storylines too, but my pot pie is getting cold.
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linkspooky · 1 day
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DUEL VS. DUEL: Yubel and Judai vs Ai and Playmaker
If you haven't noticed YGO! often recycles different characters and plot ideas throughout its various spinoffs. There's usually a rival whose ace monster is a dragon, a best friend character to support the main character, there's almost always a guy like Bakura who has several things wrong with him. This isn't a criticism, I actually love the way that each spinoff builds off of all the other series while also remaining its own thing. There's a lot of meaning you can decipher from analyzing the intentional callbacks the authors put in to previous series so that's what we're going to do today.
Both GX and Vrains feature a third season where the protagonist's partner character becomes the main antagonist for the entire season, and manages to pick off the protagonist's friends one by one until they're all alone with the protag for the final duel. Both of these characters, Yubel and Ai aren't motivated by hate but rather a twisted form of love and the parallels between these two duels don't stop there.
Yubel and Yusaku: Love vs. Ai
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The partner character appears in almost every YGO! series with the exception of 5DS and Sevens. It began with Yami Yugi, a second personality created inside Yugi who played took over and played games in Yugi's place and cursed everyone who offended him only to eventually build a partnership with Yugi that lasted for most of the series until Atem reclaimed his name and memories and became his own person again.
These partner characters usually assist in duels, and are either another personality existing inside the protagonist, or if they're external like Astral or Ai they still share a special link with the protagonist.
Yubel and Ai are unique because they are both partner characters who turn into major antagonists. They don't just share the role of antagonists there's also several similarities between the two of them, from motivation, their connection to the protagonist, and both characters being built around the concept of love. This is probably intentional because the scenario writer for all of Vrains also worked on large parts of GX and was the main scenario writer for Season 4.
To introduce both characters, Yubel is a Duel Spirit. They were originally a human child named Yubel who was the closest friend of the boy who would eventually grow up to be the Supreme King and reincarnate in the modern day as Judai Yuki. Yubel gave up their humanity and in a painful surgery became a hideous dragon with an impenetrable body in order to protect Judai.
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Afterwards the boy who would eventually become the Supreme King swore eternal love to Yubel. Yubel's devotion followed Judai into the next life, where because Yubel gave up their humanity they reincarnated as a card spirit instead that only Judai could see. They used their considerable power to protect Judai from anyone they considered a threat, including other neighborhood kids who beat him in card games. Judai as a result became completely isolated. Which Yubel didn't mind because Judai was their entire world and they believed they should have been enough for Judai.
Judai decided to send Yubel's card away into space in the hopes that the space rays would calm Yubel's troubled soul, but instead Yubel became corrupted by a cosmic force known as THE LIGHT OF DESTRUCTION. Yubel endured ten years of torture and agony all along. At first they called out to Judai in his dreams, but his parents eventually forced Judai to go through a procedure that made him forget all memories of Yubel.
Alone and forgotten Yubel crashes down to earth and is torn to pieces. As an arm they parasitize several people until they gain enough power to reconstitute their body, and then dragon Judai and all his friends into another dimmension all as a part of their grand scheme to finally reunite with Judai and awaken his memories of the Supreme King.
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Even though they were hurt by Judai, Yubel isn't motivated by revenge, but by love and a desire to be together with Judai and secure all of Judai's love for themselves. Yubel's twisted definition of love was formed when after crying for help one final time, they snapped and told themselves a lie in order to keep going. That ignoring Yubel, making them suffer, leaving them all alone it was just the way that Judai expressed his love. Yubel then becomes dedicated to showing that love in return and effectively dragging Judai down to their level.
Yubel: I was suffering as you came to forget about me… Yubel: It burns… It hurts…It’s killing me. But why? I love him so much. Why is Judai treating me like this? Yubel: And then it hit me. This is just a form of Judai’s love. Judai is hurting me and making me suffer because of his love for me. But you see, I couldn’t possibly forget about you in the time i’ve suffered. Yubel: So when I solved the riddle that you posed to me, I was delighted. And that fueled my decision. I would try to fill the entire twelve dimmensions with my love for you. Yubel: And once I did you would have to recognize my love for you, wouldn’t you?
Ai is also a character that's connected to Yusaku's childhood. Ai is an ignis, and artificial intelligence that was created by basically torturing six children by forcing them to duel over and over again and then scanning their brains and modeling six different AI off of the data.
The shadow ignis or AI quite literally came from Yusaku's brain, even though they don't meet until much later on in life. From the onset there's a lot of differences between Ai and Yubel's role as partners. Ai is Yusaku's partner for most of the series, and is effectively introduced as a stranger and has to build a bond fo trust with Yusaku over the first two seasons.
Whereas Yubel was Judai's best friend and favorite monster in childhood, but Judai has forgotten about Yubel in the first two seasons and when Yubel finally does appear again it's as an enemy. The bond between Yusaku and Ai forms and then falls apart, whereas both Yubel and Judai start out with their bond completely broken and over the course of season three they reunite and come back together.
Ai is motivated by first his own survival, and second the survival of all the other ignis who are currently being hunted by several human corporations, a group of hackers known as the knights of Hanoi, and one Ignis themselves known as Lightning who turned traitor to the other Ignis. Yusaki and Ai's shared goal is to find a way for the Ignis and Humans to co-exist without one of them trying to pre-emptively wipe out the other because of the danger both of them pose to each other.
Over the course of the story though, as one by one Ai loses his friends in the fellow Ignis who either die or are absorbed, he comes to obsess over Yusaku as his one remaining friend. Yubel and Judai's feelings for one another are a holdover from a previous lifetime they become estranged and reunite again, whereas Ai comes to love and obsess over Yusaku similiarly to Yubel does and it's precisely because of those obsessive and overprotective feelings he decides to terminate their relationship permanently.
Ai enacts a plan similiar to Yubel's to destroy Yusaku's friends one by one all while threatening the entire world. Yubel sought to fuse the dimmensions together, while AI wants to start the inevitable fight between the Ignis and Humanity on his terms.
While their role in the story and characters are similar, they're also contrasting opposites in many ways. Yubel started out as a human and gave up their humanity to become a duel spirit. Ai started out as an artificial intelligence, he thinks as an artificial intelligence who has trouble understanding humans, and while he becomes more humanlike all the time he's eventually hampered by his inability to think like a human. Yubel is also much older than Ai having lived two lifetimes with memories of both, whereas Ai is essentially a child, a fledgling sentient being who still doesn't understand many things about the world.
Their different levels of maturity really show in their understanding of the world around them, or rather Ai's naivete and lack of understanding. Both characters are built around the concept of love, with love for the protagonist as their main motivation but Yubel while twisted demonstrates a deep understanding of love.
Yubel is able to see inside the hearts of people and uses their intimate knowledge of their inner darkness in order to twist people according to their own desires. Yubel's actually a deeply empathic character able to understand people's feelings sometimes better than they understand themselves, they just use that empathic understanding for evil.
While their understanding of love sounds insane at times they're also able to make deep observations about not only people's relationships to each other but the darker nature of love. As much as we shy away from the idea of hurting the ones we love on purpose, there's a seed of truth in the fact that whether intentionally or unintentionally being close to someone means you will hurt them. That pain is a natural part of love. She's also able to suss out the unhealthy love and devotion shared between Amon and Echo quickly.
Yubel: I get it now… You weren’t in love with Echo. Yubel: No. You may have loved her just enough to clear the conditions in place for you to control Exodia. Yubel: But then, you didn’t truly love each other. Yubel: You were only unfairly hurting her, while you would stay unharmed. Yubel: You wouldn’t suffer. You wouldn’t be in pain.
Yubel also ultimately seeks a love between equals. As much as they frame themselves as Judai's protector, what they want is for Judai to be dragged down to their level so Judai will finally understand them.
Their entire plan revolved around isolating Judai until Judai understood the pain of suffering ten years alone in space that Yubel went through. When Judai snaps and becomes the Supreme King taking a similiar dark turn to Yubel, Yubel turns out to be right in the end. By the time they've reunited both Judai and Yubel have done terrible things and hurt the people they loved.
Yubel: So when I solved the riddle that you posed to me, I was delighted. And that fueled my decision. I would try to fill the entire twelve dimmensions with my love for you. Yubel: And once I did you would have to recognize my love for you, wouldn’t you? Yubel: That is why I sought to fill all those linked to you - your world - with both sadness and anguish. Yubel: ANd my line of thinking wasn’t wrong. Yubel: I mean you are right before my eyes, Judai.
Yubel operates on a principle of empathy and understanding through shared suffering. Whereas, I would argue while Ai cares about Yusaku they are not particularly empathic nor do they understand Yusaku. This is because Ai is practically a newborn existence naive to the world, and also as a computer with a computer brain fundamentally thinks differently.
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However, I'd also argue that Ai also doesn't really want to try to change their thinking to bridge the gap between humans an AI. In despair they've completely given up on trying to understand humans. They also on some level don't want to change, because they arrogantly assume they know what's best for both them and Yusaku.
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Ai has given into despair from losing their loved ones and suffering isolation just like Yubel, but I think a key difference is that everything Yubel does no matter how twisted is a desperate attempt to reunite with Judai, to understand Judai and be understood by them. Whereas, Ai doesn't want to try anymore.
Ai: Back then I would have done anything to save my friends. Yusaku: There's nothing you could have done there was no other way. AI: I know that. [...] Yusaku: Ai, you have the power to change this. Yusaku: As a special ignis you have the power to live with humans. Find a way to backtrack from this. AI: You trying to pull me back? AI: Thank you Playmaker, but you don't understand. I learned when everyone was gone that when you lose friends your heart breaks. AI: My heart was broken back then and I lost all self control. Yusaku: If losing a friend makes your heart break then are you trying to break my heart?
Not only does Ai not want to understand, but they also deliberately ignore Yusaku's feelings and personal autonomy. Yusaku is a kidnapped child who had a lot of their life robbed from them and manipulated they hate anyone who disrespects their free will but Ai walks all over it and disregards all of Yusaku's opinions. They do the one thing Yusaku asks them not to do, because Ai incorrectly assumes they know best.
They also don't really understand Yusaku on a fundamental level and as I said, they don't want to make the effort to bridge the gap either.
It seems kind of silly saying which one is worse, because both Yubel and Ai violate Judai and Yusaku's personal autonomy multiple times. They both act selfish and entitled towards the person they love. They both also intentionally hurt that person and then turn back around and claim it's protecting them. They both act incredibly possessive and try to manipulate their partner into doing what they want.
They both have the gall afterwards to claim they're doing so out of selfless devotion, downplaying any feelings of selfishness on their end. Both consider Yusaku and Judai's other friends to be targets in order to get at their partners. Both will inflict pain on the person they love and are so devoted to in service of getting what they want.
The only real difference is motivation because as I said, as controlling as Yubel is it's out of a desire to reunite and be equals. They're both in too much pain to express their love in any kind of healthy way, but Yubel at least wants things to be better whereas Ai has just given up. The fact that Yubel's themed around sharing pain too also makes them and Judai equals, whereas Ai is trying to have power over Yusaku and take Yusaku's decisions away in order to force Yusaku to do what he assumes is best.
That might be the most important difference between them. Whereas Yubel wanted to live together with Judai, Ai wanted to force Yusaku to kill him in order to avert a potential future where Yusaku dies trying to protect Ai. It's a motivation that turns one story into a love story, and the other into a tragedy.
Judai and Yusaku: Hero vs Anti-Hero
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Judai and Yusaku are two characters who could not look to be any more different at first glance. Though they're both themed around heroism Judai starts as the fun loving kid who admires heroes and is always dueling to save others when his friends are in a fix. Yusaku is the loner anti-hero who is on a revenge quest all alone against the Knights of Hanoi.
Yusaku starts out unwilling to make friends and refusing help from others. Judai on the other hand is constantly surrounded by people. Though both of them are forced into the role of always dueling to protect others and carrying the responsibilies of other people on their shoulder. Often times it's forced upon them unwillingly and they have to take on too much responsibility.
Judai forms unhealthy relationships with people that are based on him always needing to clean up their messes and those same friendships eventually unravel. Whereas Yusaku spends three seasons learning to form healthier relationships with people, and the climax of the first season is even Yusaku developing from dueling for revenge to dueling to save his very first friend in Kogami.
Judai loves dueling and even duels exclusively for the fun of it, often in the first two seasons protecting others and facing the villains as an afterthought. Yusaku on the other hand hates dueling because of the trauma he was forced to undergo as a child and despite being the strongest duelist simply views dueling as a means to an end.
Perhaps the most interesting way to compare them is their opposite journeys. They're both commentaries on heroism. They both eventually gain alter egos that are really just emphasizing different traits of their personalities. The Supreme King is the embodiment of Judai's selfishness and his fixation on always winning and dueling for power. Yusaku is a socially withdrawn kid, and Playmaker his internet identity is the way he fights back against his abusers. He's also a strong willed, determined and active where Yusaku is almost entierly passive. They're both ultimately the same guy though, Supreme King is a part of Judai, Playmaker is Yusaku with more freedom to be himself online.
However, Judai starts out as a straightforward hero and goes on to be a dark deconstruction of the pure hearted hero. All of Judai's flaws that go unaddressed because people constantly put him on a pedestal eventually lead to his ruin. The pressure Judai is always under to win turns into an obsession with power.
Judai: Why? What did I do that was so wrong? I… I did the right thing! And yet… everyone keeps leaving me! What… What is wrong with me? Supreme King: Yuki Judai. To be willing to be evil to defeat evil. This world exemplfiies survival of the fittest. It must be ruled with power. Judai: Power? I don’t have that much power… Supreme King: You hold the Super Polymerization card in your hand. Defeat the spirits that stand against you. Breathe their lives into it and complete that card.
Judai also exists in a narrative that won't allow him to be a hero. GX deconstructs all kinds of heroism and self-sacrifice. Edo Phoenix's quest for revenge is called out as him being childish, and unwilling to grow up from the trauma he suffered as a child. Johan is the most straightforward hero, but his decision to sacrifice himself to protect Judai and everyone else is what starts Judai's breakdown. When Jim duels against the supreme king he declares he's not sacrificing him to save the world but rather trying to help a friend.
Judai's eventual character growth in choosing to fuse with Yubel isn't a sacrifice, but rather Judai finally growing up and taking responsibility for the way he hurt Yubel.
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Yusaku on the other hand is on the journey from going from an anti-hero who fights for himself and his own personal revenge to becoming a more straightforward hero. I wouldn't say Yusaku's arc is more shallow in comparison just because it's not a dark deconstruction, rather it's exploring a different topic the responsibilities of being a hero.
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His greatest moment of character growth in the first season is going from caring only about revenge, to dueling the pesron who saved him as a child because he wants to save his very first friend.
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You could say Yusaku because he's not allowed to crumble is actually under more pressure than Judai is. He's almost forced into the role of a hero and not allowed to be selfish, while Judai from start to finish is a selfish character even if he grows up quite a bit over the course of the story.
Yusaku is also someone who from start to finish follows his own sense of unbending justice. Where, Judai doesn't have any consistent moral code. He's defined in the first two seasons of only dueling for the fun of it, and by Season 3 he's deeply troubled that he doesn't have a reason to duel like Johan does.
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Following his own justice is actually deeply important to Yusaku, probably what he values the most actually. Since his life was thrown off by the Lost Incident he starts out deeply untrusting of others and even when he grows past that he hates people who try to influence him and insist they know what's best for him. It's what led him to not only be deeply offended by Zaizen telling Yusaku to back down and let him handle it, but also him refusing Zaizen's help.
This quality of Yusaku's also dovetails into my next point where we finally get to comparing the two duels.
A LOVE STORY vs. A TRAGEDY
The setup for the duel is identical in both cases. Yubel and Ai have eliminated almost all of Judai and Yusaku's friends and now they are on the endgame of their plans. Yusaku and Judai are both dueling against their former partners to stop them, and both partners refuse any attempts to work things out any other way and force a fight.
However, the motivations of each member going into these duels are so opposite that it makes a neat little foiling square.
Starting with Yubel their motivation for getting into the duel is simultaneously a desire to reunite and express their love for Judai, and a thinly veiled cry for help.
Judai: If you hated how I treated you, then you should have gotten revenge on me. Yubel: Hate? Revenge? What are you talking about? Didn't I tell you? I went to this trouble hoping it would make you happy, Judai. Judai: Make me happy? After my friends suffered by getting hurt and killed. Yubel: But that's love isn't it? Yubel: I wanted to torment you to share the depths of my love.
Yubel's plan is to both awaken Judai's memories of the supreme king by engineering his downfall, and also after taking his friends away one by one to fuse the dimmensions together so Judai and Yubel can be together forever with Yubel by his side protecting him. As Yubel defines their entire existence and worth by being Judai's protector and doesn't understand why Judai would ever reject their protection or need friends other than them.
Yubel: My every waking moment was for you. Yubel: I even got rid of everyone around you who tried to make you cry. Judai: Yubel. By doing that you hurt the friends I had around me. Judai: None of my close firends even wanted to duel with me. Yubel: You had me as a close friend, didn't you? All you had to do was focus only on me.
Yubel frames their actions as selfless while also acting out an entitlement that they're owed Judai's love for all of their devotion to him. They're also willing to hurt his closest friends, isolate him, and basically throw tantrums in order to get it.
When they come to the slow realization that Judai won't return their feelings, it leads to them breaking down slowly over the course of the duel. All of the lies they told themselves about the love between them and Judai slowly starts to unravel along with their mind.
The duel beings with Yubel actively enjoying all the pain Judai is inflicting upon them. When Judai activates the supreme king though, and starts dueling seriously to eliminate Yubel, it chips through Yubel's delusions and Yubel is no longer able to keep pretending that pain is love.
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I couldn’t have lived with the heartache unless I felt that I was being loved…
Moving on to Ai, the primary difference between Yubel and Ai's motivation is that Yubel's plans are a thinly veiled cry for help while Ai refuses to accept any help.
Yusaku: Find a way to backtrack, Ai! Ai: I can't. Ai: Sorry, but there's no backtracking. Ai: Let's go, Playmaker!
Their desires are opposite too. Yubel's plan is to continue living with Judai, and Ai's plan amounts to forcing Yusaku to kill them.
Ai: If this attack gets through I lose. AI: Well, make up your mind already. AI: You came to get them back, right? AI: You're everyone's hope so you have to do it, even if I'm the opponent.
Yubel and Ai are both incredibly manipulative characters, and Ai in particular is holding all of Yusaku's friends hostage in order to make him do something he does not want to do and will hurt him beyond repair. He's also inflicting the same trauma the loss of all of his friends and the loss of an important friend the same way that Yubel wishes to make Judai suffer the same way they did by isolating them from all of their friends and pushing them off the edge to bring out their darkest emotions.
However, once again Yubel's manipulations are done with the intent of getting Judai to understand them whereas Ai no longer wants to try understanding Yusaku and presumes he knows best.
Ai: Back then I had to do whatever it takes to save my friends. Yusaku: There's nothing you could have done to save them. Ai: I know there wasn't. Yusaku: Ai, that simulation was lightning's trap. He knew if you saw it while in despair your heart would fall into darkness. So don't worry about it. Ai: I considered that possibility. Because he left it after he fought us. AI: So I redid my own simulation and ran it over and over. But the result wouldn't change.
Ai also chooses to trust simulations and the words of his enemy Lightning over the words of his own partner and the urging of Yusaku that they can try to take a third way out together. His basic inability to trust is what damns him, relying on controlling manipulation instead to coerce and eventually force Yusaku to do what he wants and what he has decided is best.
It shows in his plan to, Ai's conditions for the duel is that he'll either copy himself and spread the copies into all of the mass manufactured robots or Yusaku will have to stop him with his own hands at which point Ai's programming is terminated. Either way Ai dies. The only real way for Yusaku to save Ai is to convince him to stop the duel which Ai won't do.
Ai: Oh I didn't tell you. When my copies are created, as the final trigger my free will will be divided and given to them. Yusaku: What will happen to you? AI: My free will will be broken apart. AI: I'll be no more. If you win you'll retrieve everything I took and I'll be no more. Either way, I'll be no more. Yusaku: Ai, you're making me choose how you die?
He's stripped away all of Yusaku's choices. Yubel is stripping away Judai's choices to but once again it's out of a desire to be together with Judai while Ai is doing the opposite forcing Yusaku to be an enemy and end him with his own two hands.
Moving onto the process of the duel itself, the duel begins with both Yusaku and Judai trying to talk their partners down from dueling and finding some other way to settle this.
They fail but for opposite reasons. Judai because his pleas with Yubel are half hearted and done more in the spirit of lip-service. Judai fails because Yubel sees through his half hearted attempts. In their previous duel Yubel calls out the fact that Judai went to the ends of the earth to save Johan, but after subjecting Yubel to years of torture barely lifted a finger to reach out to them.
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While Yusaku genuinely shows a desire to solve things with Ai with anything other than dueling, but Ai is the reason they have to fight. Ai is the one who forces Yusaku's hand. While Judai does not understand Yubel and does not empathize, Ai is the one who fails to understand Yusaku and how much pain forcing this conflict on him causes Yusaku. He also doesn't want to understand, while Yubel is at least self-aware of the fact that they are intentionally hurting Judai.
Yusaku's sincerity can be seen in how much he refuses to victim blame Ai, starting right away and continuing through the duel. Repeatedly over and over again Yusaku tries to reassure Ai that the guilt he's experiencing isn't his fault. Whereas, Judai victim blames Yubel continually. Yusaku is a character who values responsibility above all else, while Judai is avoiding personal responsibiltiy even though they're the ones who put Yubel in a situation where they were tortured.
Ai: As you know I got rid of my friends and ended up alone. There were only six of us but we foolishly hated each other. Yusaku: AI that's not your fault. AI: I know but it doesn't matter who's fault it is. I'm earth's last surviving human. And that fact won't change. Playmaker I sort of understand how you felt. Being alone is very painful. Yusaku: [...] I understand your sadness but don't let this fate sweep you away.
Whereas, Judai quickly resorts to victim blaming Yubel pretty quickly.
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I made a lot of friends… And they all taught me something… real love is wide enough, large enough and deep enough to fill the universe. Your so-called love is only a conceited delusion.
There's also a distinct difference in both Yusaku and Judai's behavior throughout the duel. Most of the time it's Yubel iniating conversation with Judai because as I said by the time their second duel has started Judai has given up on understanding Yubel and dismisses them as crazy and beyond comprehension. Whereas Yusaku is the one who initiates most of the conversation with Ai.
Moving onto the duel part of duel it's interesting to note how different Yubel and Ai's dueling styles are. Yubel dominates almost any duel they're in. They toy with the likes of Ryo and Amon. Even when Judai duels them to a draw, the duel went exactly as Yubel planned because their true objective was to snatch away super polymerization from Judai's graveyard.
Yubel's boss monster is also unbeatable. It never takes damage, in fact most of the cards in Yubel's various decks don't take damage. Their ace monster for the sacred beast deck is a card that inflicts 10,000 damage once a turn. Advanced Darkness crystal beasts allows them to negate all damage done by sending a card to the graveyard. Even when judai manages to get Yubel off the field it simply upgrades into a stronger form.
Ai on the other hand duels on the ropes and duels very defensively, Yusaku at several points is about to go for game and end the duel in one hit and Ai only manages to barely avoid ending the duel early with a trap card or the like.
Yubel's main strategy is to prolong the duel until Judai is forced to pick Super Polymerization with spell chronicle. They want Judai to choose them and choose staying together with them by spell chronicle. Whereas at multiple points Ai continues to encourage Yusaku to crush them with everything they have.
Once again, one wants empathy, the other disregards Yusaku's will.
Yubel: My suffering becomes your suffering. Yubel: Such empathy... Yubel: Nightmare pain. It has us wrapped in the same anguish, and the same love.
Ai is forcing Yusaku's hand because once again, no matter the result Yusaku kills Ai. On the other hand, Yubel grows increasingly disturbed by Judai's lack of mercy.
Yubel: Oh my, you shouldn't be so heartless my dear judai. Judai: We can't protect what matters to us just by being kind. I'm prepared to fight for the friends I love to the end even if it becomes becoming a demon or the devil.
Judai also quickly abandons heroism for the power of the supreme king, whereas Ai practically forces Yusaku to choose being a hero and saving his friends. Judai prioritizes Johan and then the rest of his friends over Yubel, Yusaku doesn't want to choose and a horrible choice is forced upon him.
Yubel for their part is aware of Judai's hypocrisy, once again they demonstrate a deep understanding of Judai. Whereas, Ai doesn't understand Yusaku one bit, while at the same time claiming to know better.
AI: When it comes to memory and calculations we're far superior to humans. We can figure out humans' faults and contradictions. AI: That's why it's easy to become arrogant. With Ai's with free will it's in their nature. AI: Something awakened within me. They're not evil thoughts. But I wonder, in order for me to live why do I have to adapt to humans. AI: I feel differently from humans.
Ai continually urges Yusaku to choose his friends over him. He forces the choice where there should be done. On the other hand Yubel wants to be chosen over Judai's friends. Out of a sense of entitlement but also a fear of being abandoned again.
Yubel: The camraderie of yours with the neo-spacians will be of no use to you. And my love alone is much stronger. Yet even so you're saying that you'll choose friendships with the neo-spacians over my love. [...] Yubel: Judai so you want to drive me away at any cost. Do you and the neo-spacians find my love to be such a hindrance.
Once again, Ai remarks frequently that the loss of their friends made them give up all hope on continuing. Yubel on the other hand is capable of enduring almost anything. They're defined by their endurance and determination to hold on. When they burn up on re-entry they slowly piece themselves back together. When they're disintegrated after Johan's sacrifice, they take Johan's body and then slowly restore themselves once more. Judai duels them to a draw, that's yubel's plan all along and they take super poly. Judai destroys their boss monster, they just summon another one.
Ai on the other hand fundamentally believes free will in Ai's will lead to conflict and that future is inescapable, so they force Yusaku's hand in ending their existence.
AI: You said humans don't want sudden changes. AI: But I can't help my own changes. I may become someone like Bohman or Lightning so I want to vanish before that happens.
Ai has already reached their breaking point, whereas Yubel is slowly driven to their breaking point by Judai's lack of empathy throughout the duel. Yubel similiarly becomes suicidal like AI, but only after Judai continually insists that they're only dueling to destroy Yubel. Once again, while Ai's plan is to self-terminate for Yusaku's "sake" choosing to die while Judai lives on without them is something Yubel would never do.
At least, they might take a bullet for Judai, but they don't want to be alone and abandoned while Judai goes back to live on happily with all his other friends. Yubel wants to be chosen, Ai wants Yusaku to choose his friends. In fact, it's the idea that Yusaku wouldn't abandon him even if the war against Ai and Humans did happen that drives Ai's decision to die rather than let that happen.
AI: When I lived in the simulation I saw it. What my existence will lead to. You get dragged into it and perish. I can't choose that future.
Once again though, it's a decision Ai makes out of an inability to trust Yusaku. Also, if Yusaku wants to stay by Ai's side in spite of the danger it poses to him, that's Yusaku's choice. Ai may perceive himself as protecting Yusaku, but he's also disrespecting his autonomy.
It's also driven by a lack of understanding of what love and trust are. That's not entirely Ai's fault, he is in fact a newborn who recently lost every single one of his friends due to the conflict between humans and AI. It makes sense he'd have trouble trusting humans even the one that's been by his side all this time.
Whereas, Yubel wants Judai's understanding and breaks down when Judai continually denies it to them.
Yubel: Do you hate me that much? Yubel: I thought of this twelve-dimmension universe as a space for us together... so I tried to fill the universe with my love. But if you're calling on your friends and going to such lengths to get rid of me I no longer need to fill this universe with love. No, I no longer need this world. Let me put an end to this universe, to the void as well, and to our time together. Yubel: It was fun Judai, even those who helped lure you to me had dark, dark hearts. I feasted upon their hearts and waited for the reunion with you, my beloved. Yubel: I even invited you to that first dimmension. Well, I enjoyed that duel as well. Until he interfered. But I suppose you just weren't ready to accept my love back then. Yubel: I mean, the darkness in your heart, the supreme king was lying dormant. Yubel: Though I did have your friends help me. Which pulled out the darkness in your heart and ushered you this far. Yubel: I didn't think you were so hardheaded. You're the one at fault. If you can't grasp my love I don't need you. Or this universe. You can all just vanish into dust.
Judai needs to accept responsibility for both what he did to Yubel, and his own actions for the supreme king and how both him and Yubel can be pushed to do terrible things when they're alone and in pain. Part of the motivation for Judai's demonization of Yubel is he wants to keep playing the hero because the guilt of everything he did as the supreme king is crushing him and making him borderline suicidal.
On the other hand Ai is the one who's given up on trying to understand others. Yusaku is doing the best he can to both balance his feelings for Ai and desire to save him against his responsibility to save his other friends but he can't really be held personally responsible for Ai's actions. Whereas Judai on some level is responsible for Yubel's actions since he created the situation in the first place and continually chooses to abandon Yubel instead of trying to reach out to them.
Yubel is right to an extent that this situation is his fault and he never made any attempts to save them. Whereas, Ai is being manipulative when he forces Yusaku to make the choice to kill him putting all the responsibility on Yusaku's shoulders.
Which is why when the duels end in completely opposite fashions. Judai's way of taking responsibility is to fuse together with Yubel, whereas Yusaku refuses to fuse with Ai.
In Yusaku's case the refusal to fuse isn't turning down Ai's proposed third option, or a peaceful solution to the duel. After all, if Ai called off the duel right there Yusaku would accept it and work to forgive Ai for what he did to his friends. Even if they continue on as individuals it's not like Yusaku would leave Ai's side. In fact his reason for refusing Ai's offer to fuse is that he wants them to remain together as two individuals.
Fusion means two entirely different things in this context. Judai acknowledges there's a risk he may no longer exist after fusing with Yubel but like, they keep going on as two seperate individuals and consciousnesses even when they share the same body. Whereas in Ai's case, fusing with Yusaku would destroy both of them and give birth to a completely new being. Ai is using fusion as yet another method of self destruction, because he doesn't want to change himself and doesn't believe in the capacity to change himself.
Yusaku: Even if we become one, that's not the solution you're seeking. We only have one life. One consciousness. Yusaku: If I fuse, I won't be me and you won't be you.
Ai makes his choice out of his inability to face the future. He wants to self terminate, either by distributing his free will among copies or fusing with Yusaku to become someone else because he doesn't trust in his ability to grow and change. In fact he's avoiding having to change and grow up.
Yusaku: So living is a series of bonds! That's what life is. AI: So I have to do that forever? Yusaku: Yes. AI: That's a lot of work. And you can't do that unless you're strong. Yusaku: That's why people become stronger. And that occasionally leads to conflicts. But even if that happens we have to keep fighting. Keep searching for bonds even if there's no solution. AI: I was thinking too logically like an AI. Yusaku: You can't rush living. AI: But I don't want to keep fighting if there's no solution. Since I've lost the desire to fight I'll just vanish.
You could say that Yusaku's unbending nature and his responsibity as a hero made it so he couldn't fuse with Ai or throw the duel but like, there's only so much Yusaku could have done. He didn't give up trying to convince Ai at any point and it's not fair to put Ai's refusal to give up on their suicide plan on Yusaku.
It's also Ai's decision to activate TA.I. that made them lose the duel, so in the end Ai did self terminate. Even in the Yuma vs. Shark duel where Yuma is a character who will never sacrifice anyone even if the whole world is at stake, and kept throwing the duel and prolonging it to try to convince Shark, Yuma was unable to reach him in time. In both cases it's also Shark's decision to go all out for a final attack, and Yuma's decision to negate his own attack and not attack in the hopes fo reaching Shark that loses Shark the duel.
On the other hand, Judai's decision to fuse is him finally taking responsibility. Ai gave up on trying to change the future and himself whereas Judai's decision to fuse is him growing up from a child to an adult.
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I also want to state I don't want to victim blame Ai for being suicidal, and not having the strength to go on. Not everyone does in that kind of situation, it's perfectly human (even though he's a robot).
Ai's story is also meant to be a tragedy. In tragedies characters succumb to their flaws instead of overcoming them. GX and VRAINS' third season are two entirely different genres of story, one is a love story where two traumatized people finally reunite and heal and Vrains is a tragedy where Yusaku can't save Ai.
Even then Vrains doesn't state that Ai doesn't deserve salvation, even if he chose to refuse help and didn't want to be saved. Yusaku's very last actions in the series are diving into the net to search for some remnant of Ai and it's implied after months of searching he's not stopping anytime soon. Even if Ai gave up on himself, Yusaku hasn't given up on Ai.
That's another thing even if Yusaku refused fusion with Ai, he still would have stayed by Ai's side. Ai literally simulated a thousand futures and Yusaku in every one of them stayed by Ai's side even if it led to his death. Yusaku still wishes to be with Ai and searches the net for Ai in the end of Vrains. He calls Ai the best partner even when Ai's in the process of breaking his heart.
So while both of these duels have very different endings, I'd say they both still advocate for forgiveness and love. Both duels are true to the message of YGO! that bonds are the most important thing and what give our life meaning - which I think is beautiful. People cannot live on their own and make bad choices when they're alone, but in the end it's bonds that save us.
"If there's no absolutes then what's left?"
"Bonds. Bonds between individuals. Bonds between one another. That's all there is. That also changes with time. A huge trigger can cause a huge change. Bonds may be severed but new bonds can also be formed. So living is a series of bonds. That's what life is."
Also as a final note on this post I'd like to thank @talaofthevalley their takes on Yusaku are all great and talking about Vrains meta with them really helped writing a lot of this post.
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dumbkiri · 3 days
Text
𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐖 𝐁𝐘
𝗕𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗴𝗼 𝗞𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺!𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿
This is an AU where all characters are adults and have families!
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“I wanna love you for the rest of my life.” 
He declared so lovingly with his hands holding his wife gently. 
The two of them danced under the moonlight and stars with silent looks from the audience surrounding the both of them. Her beautiful white dress swayed side to side as the two of them moved to the slow melody playing in the background. 
She gave him a sweet smile and removed her hand off his shoulder to caress his face. The words she returned to him made his heart flutter, “Forever and always, Katsuki.” 
He leaned forward and kissed her lips for the hundredth time that night. She felt so warm and real in this moment of his dream. He never wanted to leave knowing what awaited him when he awoke, so he remained in her arms for a bit longer. 
He forgot about his real world problems and indulged in this heavenly dream with the love of his life. She gave him everything he ever wanted. Children that were born with incredible quirks and their best features combined. A house that they built together for their growing family. 
But all good things come to an end eventually. 
“Do you miss me, Katsuki?” She looked up at him with a disappointed expression, her [e.color] eyes dulling out. 
He faltered, but replied, “Of course, I do. I miss you every time I look at our children. Katsumi looks more like you, but Hiro has your personality. When he gets mad, the earth beneath his feet cracks.”
He chuckled at the memory of Hiro’s shocked expression, then the seven year old apologizing profusely for the damage done in the dining room before he stomped away. 
“But he was rightfully mad, was he not?” 
Katsuki’s smile morphed into a frown as he returned his sad gaze to his wife knowing what she was talking about, “It was a misunderstanding, [Name].” 
“He saw you kiss another woman, a woman that isn’t his mother,” She responded quickly as she pulled away from him. Her eyes looked down at the floor and she held herself together, he knew she did this when she felt insecure. 
He wanted her not to feel that way. She was his wife, not some-
“I’m missing, not dead.” 
His heart clenched at the reminder of her situation. 
“You stopped looking for me so you could start a new relationship with someone else. Of course, it has to be with our children’s teacher, huh?” 
She looked up at him and her sad glare poked a huge hole into his heart. 
“Just because you stopped looking doesn’t mean Hiro has. He doesn’t understand what happened with that villain. All he knows is that you came home without me. Now two years go by and he sees you kissing his teacher. Wouldn’t his anger be justified because he never lost hope in finding me?” 
Of course, it’s justified. But Camie kissed him, he didn’t initiate it. He couldn’t because all he could think about was his missing wife. All he could think about was how wrong it felt to touch another woman.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head, “I…I don’t love her, not like I love you.”
Then [Name] inhaled through her nose and said, “But you’re starting to. You don’t need to lie to me and you certainly don’t need to hide this from Hiro. He will understand when you give him time. Don’t let our boy grow up to hate you because you started loving a different woman. Let him understand why you stopped looking for me and why you’re settling for Camie.”
He was settling for Camie as harsh as it sounded, but the truth lied in your sentence. 
“I meant what I said, loving you for the rest of my life,” He took a step toward her with his hands reaching out to her pretty face. 
He held her with a loose grip then he rested his forehead against hers and said, “But our children need a mother. I can’t raise them on my own. Can you forgive me?”
He felt her tears touch his rough hands and he clenched his teeth to hold back his own. He waited for those words, remembering how this dream always ended in heartbreak. But her cruel words never came, instead she gave him a different answer. Not the one his mind usually came up with. 
“Please don’t stop searching for me.”
The way his heart jumped in surprise had him pull back, looking into her [e.color] eyes that had tears pouring down her cheeks like a waterfall. 
She held onto his hands and desperately said, “I’m missing, Katsuki. Don’t lose hope, I need you to keep looking for me. I want to come home.” 
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This answer had been extremely different from the one she always gave him. He can remember word by word why she couldn’t forgive him, but now…she begged him to keep looking for her. 
“[Name], is this- Where are you?” 
The urge to ask that question to her felt strong and she shook her head, “I won’t be able to tell you, but I’m closer than you think. So please, keep looking. I don’t want to be with him anymore. I want to come home to you and our beautiful children.”
Her begging made him feel even more guilty for letting Camie kiss him. Then there was another issue that made his blood boil. She mentioned the villain that took her away. His guilt and his anger never mixed well together, it only made him more emotional seeing his wife so vulnerable. 
Katsuki breathed heavily and pulled her into his strong arms with a kiss planted on the crown of her head. 
She looked up at him through his hold and spoke, but her words could not be heard. Her lips moved, yet no sound entered his ears. He lost his hearing in a crucial moment and like a ripple in the water, she moved away from him. 
“Hey, old man, it’s morning already.” 
Katsuki woke up from his dream, hearing the voice of his grumpy 13 year old boy. 
Now Hiro looked like Katsuki, inheriting the spiky blonde hair and sharp eyes, but his eyes were the color of his mother’s. The boy glared at his father when he received no response from the man and said mockingly, “Don’t you have a ‘meeting’ with my teacher? She wouldn’t stop talking about it last week.” 
Katsuki groaned and sat up in the bed, his spiky hair unruly like always. His red eyes focused on his son as he blinked the sleep away. 
“I do, but it’s really just a meeting.” 
“Yeah, sure,” Hiro rolled his eyes and moved away from the door shouting, “Katsumi and I are going out with some friends to the park while you have this meeting. Then we’re going to grandparent’s house for dinner.” 
“It’s not like that, brat!” Katsuki shouted back, gripping the bed sheets tightly as he growled out. 
Then he heard his children getting ready to leave the house with no snappy remark from Hiro. 
He rolled his shoulders and neck feeling the pops in his sore muscles. His eyes roamed the master bedroom and thought back to his dream with his wife. 
She begged him to keep looking for her. 
Yeah, he admitted that he did lose hope in finding her. Two years felt like forever without his sunshine and raising kids that looked and acted like her had been rough on his mental state. 
Nevertheless, he needed to grow up and be a better father to them. They already lost their mother, they can’t afford to lose him too. 
As Katsuki was getting ready for the parent teacher conference about Hiro and Katsumi, he heard his children down the hall speaking amongst themselves. Hiro, as usual, didn’t have the need to quiet down his tone while Katsumi tried her best to get her brother to speak softly. 
“Did you really see dad kiss her?” 
“Of course I did,” Hiro bit back, hurt that his sister doubted him. 
Katsumi quickly replied to Hiro in a hushed whisper, “Whoa, hey! Not so loudly, Hiro~ Dad could be-” 
“Good, he should be listening,” Hiro jabbed then moved on to say, “Dad kissed my teacher. Now all she does is gush about how ‘attractive’ he is to other teachers. You know how awkward it is to walk down the hall while our classmates talk about dad cheating on mom? She’s not dead, Sumi. She’s missing.” 
Katsuki heard Katsumi sigh and sadly say, “Yeah, I know. But you’ve seen how dad is…angry and lonely almost every day. Mom…made him very happy back then, so who cares if he’s looking for companionship to fill that hole in his heart.”
“We should care,” Hiro snapped back, “Our mom is out there suffering with a villain. We’re suffering because we miss her. You and I are coping by relying on each other, dad can do the same.”
“I don’t think so,” Katsumi sighed and said, “He can’t even look at me, probably because I look like mom so much. I haven’t seen him smile at me since her kidnapping. He looks at me with regret and you look at me differently too.” 
“What?” Hiro asked, surprised by his sister’s claim, “No, I don’t.” 
“Don’t lie to me!” Katsumi snapped back, her temper just as bad as Katsuki’s when he was younger. 
Katsuki heard Hiro fumble with his words and shook his head at his son’s response. 
“Well sure, it’s hard to look at you, you literally look like mom! But that doesn’t mean-” 
“You two are the worst! It’s not my fault I look like her!” 
Katsuki heard his daughter storm down the stairs and shut the front door loudly, announcing her departure. Then he heard the frustrated mumbles from Hiro, the boy stomping down the stairs and angrily putting his shoes on. 
“Stupid sister,” Hiro grumbled, grabbing something by the door, “she forgot to put her shoes on.” 
Then his son slammed the front door after himself. 
Katsuki took a deep breath in and thought about his children’s conversation with each other. He didn’t think Camie would talk about their budding relationship to other teachers. Didn’t know their classmates whispered about their family. 
Then there was the situation with Katsumi. 
He hated to admit it, but his daughter spoke the truth. Katsuki hadn’t smiled at her in the last two years, not even over her accomplishments. He couldn’t hold a long conversation with her or lock eyes with her. 
But he heard her stories through his mother. 
Coming to a conclusion on how to fix his relationship with his children, Katsuki pulled his phone from his pocket and messaged his mother:
I will be joining for dinner as well. 
Who invited you? 
Does it matter? 
Just know that I’m coming over. 
Gotta talk to the kids about their mother.
Do not drag me into your mess! 
My grandchildren see me as a trusted guardian.
This is serious, old hag. You’re going to moderate the conversation. 
I’m clearly biased, brat! You kissed Hiro’s teacher while still married!
Did you even think about how [Name] would feel?
She’s missing, not dead.
“I’m missing, not dead.” 
His wife’s words from the dream played back as he read his mother’s message to him. 
Yeah, he knows that. But he can’t help the urge to fill the hole in his heart just like how Hiro can’t help acting out against him. They all have different and unhealthy coping mechanisms. 
Yeah, I did. I’m not going to deny it. But I don’t love Camie, she’s just there. 
He didn’t get an immediate response and he stood at the door waiting as patiently as he could. His foot thumped on the floorboard while his bottom lip was between his teeth. 
Then three message popped up instantly:
If you say one thing that I don’t like… I will kick you out of my house. No one hurts my grandbabies!
He smiled at her response and messaged her: I know.
……
Katsuki ignored the stares he received from other teachers and parents that he passed by in the hall. His hands were tucked into his jacket and clenched up from this unwanted attention. God, he felt small from their judgemental stares. He could hear their stupid whispers and he wanted nothing more to yell at them. 
“Hey, dad,” Katsumi called out to him with her head down, “you don’t have to visit my teacher if you don’t want to. My grades are totally fine compared to Hiro’s and-” 
“Sumi,” Katsuki sighed and looked to his left, barely catching her off guard with her nickname. He also hasn’t addressed her lovingly in two years and he hopes to fix this burned bridge between him and his daughter. 
“Uh…” He trailed off and looked away from her surprised look. She was the spitting image of [Name] back in their grade school years. 
‘Damn it, get it together and stop looking like a damn sad man!’ He yelled at himself mentally. 
After getting his composure back, he walked up to Katsumi’s classroom and stopped at the door. He swallowed the lump in his throat and kneeled down to meet her height. She ignored his intense stare, but he gently guided her face to look at him. 
Carefully he said, “I care about your grades as much as I do for Hiro’s. I know you won the prize at the science fair beating Izuku’s nerdy son. You worked hard to put that broccoli boy in his place and I’m damn proud of you for doing that. And I’m…sorry that…for everything.”
Stupidly, he couldn’t apologize properly to Katsumi. 
Luckily for him, his daughter understood what he wanted to say. She blinked her tears away and jumped at him, hugging him with a sniffle. She wanted nothing more than to have an actual conversation with her dad. Finally he was owning up to his mistakes and this is all she really wanted from him.
“I forgive you, dad,” She moved away then tilted her head, “but it will take Hiro a lot of convincing to do the same. You really, really hurt him.” 
Katsuki slumped and said, “Yeah, I know. But I want to make it up to you guys. I need to talk to you guys about something, but it’ll be with grandma too. She can keep Hiro calm and-”
Katsumi giggled and shook her head, “You really think grandma will be on your side?”
The man huffed out a frustrated sigh and stood up to his full height, “Your grandma asked me the same thing, but I wormed my way through.” He took Katsumi’s hand in his rough one and said, “Alright, let’s get this meeting done with.” 
Katsuki knew of Katsumi’s accomplishments through his mother, yes. But everything his daughter ever achieved made him super proud. She led the classes with confidence, competed for the top spot of the class with a ‘friendly rival’ and everyone loved her. 
He didn’t know Katsumi was popular among her classmates, especially since Hiro mentioned whispers of their family. God, he felt so stupid and regretted ever letting it get so far. 
“Katsuki,” Camie’s voice had a hint of adoration in it, “what a pleasant surprise. I wasn’t sure if you had time for teacher conferences.” Her laugh echoed in the classroom and it caught the attention of the hero’s daughter. 
Katsumi squeezed her father’s hand as they walked into Hiro’s classroom. She looked around the room and it looked sort of like her own classroom with Mr. Fujioka. Her red eyes then landed on the woman that gradually captured the attention of her father. 
She was pretty tall and slim. Her short hair was a caramel color and Katsumi couldn’t deny her beauty. Did Ms. Utsushimi have something similar to her mother or was her father interested because the hole her mother left needed to be filled?
“I’m trying to fix my mistakes and be a better father for my children,” Katsuki grumbled out and walked over to the two chairs in front of Camie’s desk. He led Katsumi to one and sat down after his daughter did. 
Then his red eyes met with Camie’s soft colored ones, “Is there anything I can do to help Hiro boost his grades? I know he’s failing some of his classes.”
Camie cleared her throat and sat down at her desk pulling up a file of Hiro’s school work. She pulled out some tests and showed the red marks on most of the questions. Then the teacher licked her lips before she explained, 
“Hiro is smart, much like his sister,” Camie compared Hiro’s old work to his current school work, “He would have been in the same class as Katsumi and Sora this year and last year, but I’m sorry to bring this up as it is a touchy topic. His grades started dropping the moment his mother went missing.”
Katsuki already guessed that. 
“Figures,” He mumbled under his breath and shook his head, “I’ll talk to him about his work. Thank you for this.” 
Katsumi stood up from her chair and watched her dad do the same. 
Quickly Camie followed suit and brushed her hair from her face, “If you really want to help Hiro out, you have to tell him to leave the work to the heroes.”
“Huh?” Katsuki gave Camie a sideways glance then turned his body towards her, “What are you talking about?” 
Camie looked down at a nervous Katsumi then back to the father, “Your kids are actively looking for their mother along with Sora. They’ve been talking about the Market and how they can find her in that group.” 
Oh hell no. His confusion immediately turned into a protective anger. 
Katsuki spun around to question his daughter with an angry scowl on his face, “The hell are you guys doing, huh? Do you know what the Market is capable of?” 
“Dad, we-” 
“They hurt children like you!” Katsuki spat then grabbed Katsumi’s shoulders in a death grip, “The Market is a group of villains that should be left for the heroes to deal with, not a dumb trio like the three of you. Do you understand me, Katsumi?” 
The little girl couldn't look her dad in the eyes, not when he looked so mad. He wasn’t even going to listen to her. 
“Katsumi,” Katsuki growled out and shook her a bit to make her look him in the eyes. Then he crouched down and used one of his hands to force her to do so. 
“They kidnap little girls and little boys with powerful quirks like you and your brother,” His eyes flashed with a dangerous warning, “then those kids are sold to the highest bidder. For months, these bidders do whatever they want to these children before they make them fight one another. The ones that lose a fight are disposed of. Do you want to end up in a ditch like them? Katsumi, I asked you a question!” 
“No!” Katsumi cried, tears shining in her red eyes.
The sight of her tears softened up Katsuki’s flaring rage and he pulled her into a hug. He rubbed his hand up and down her back to soothe her, but she kept on crying. He went too far in scolding her and scaring her, but everything he said about the Market was true. He needed her to recognize the danger in trying to find a group like that. 
Katsuki picked her up into his arms and held her gently, looking over at Camie, “We’re leaving.” 
“O-oh, okay,” Camie whispered back and watched the little girl cry in her dad’s arms. The teacher never saw a sight like that before. But she didn’t blame Katsuki for acting out like that. She’s heard the stories and truly fears for her nosy students. 
Children go missing every day, but a lot have been found dead with wounds from various quirks. She couldn’t imagine any of her students ending up like that. 
She couldn’t imagine how Katsuki would react if one of his children ended up the same way. 
……
Hiro’s head hurt a lot. 
The last thing he could remember is walking to his grandma’s house after Katsumi messaged him saying that the conferences just ended. Now his location remained a mystery to him.
 Fear slowly creeped up his back, but he had to stay focused. Fear blinds all the other senses that could help him out in this situation. 
While sitting up, his body felt extremely tired and worn out. His [e.color] eyes looked around his surroundings, but only darkness covered him. 
“What the hell is going on?” He questioned quietly. 
‘Krttzzz!’
A bright flash blinded him and he blinked his eyes to get used to the light that shone on his body. 
A flatscreen tv hung on the wall with the word ‘Welcome’ appeared on the screen. Then a robotic voice spoke to him through the speakers giving him orders, 
“The drug will wear off in a few moments and once your system returns to normal you will go beyond the door to show off your quirk. If you do not comply, you will be terminated.” 
Hiro pushed himself off the floor and the pain in his head gradually went away while he asked himself a million questions. 
He had been drugged. 
He needed to display his quirk once the door behind him opened. 
If he doesn’t follow this order, he will be…killed?
“My dad said that the survivor from the Market is pretty messed up. Said that the boy used his quirk to kill other kids, kids that the heroes found all over Japan in alleys or abandoned places,” Sora's voice echoed in his head.
The door slid open with a swoosh and Hiro’s shoulders sagged in disbelief, “Oh, fuck me.” 
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plu1alie · 8 months
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Here’s every Nevermore playlist I’ve made so far because I’m definitely not obsessed
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loregoddess · 4 months
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damn I knew the Nibelheim section was gonna be kinda sad, but did the devs really, really have to go and make it sadder?
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theconfusedartist · 1 year
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maybe this is weird (and I do promise I’m dropping the rest of the lore in a hour or so) but
in the rewrite, i always write Altaïr as seeing Desmond as:
Altaïr: this is my little brother, my son, my best friend, and annoying twin that makes all the reckless mistakes i already learned from. i love my boy, but damn if he doesn’t be doing some wild shit
wereas Desmond is like
Desmond: i love Altaïr! he’s my brother, my best friend, one of the few people who I’d happily consider my father, my face twin, and (did I already mention?) best friend! he makes a lot of mistakes, and we disagree about lots of stuff, but i’m so happy he’s in my life
Altaïr in permutation 17: this sucks. Des isn’t even here right now (hist time) and he can’t even hear me when I’m trying to talk to him (in modern time)
Desmond in permutation 17: this sucks. Altaïr isn’t even here right now (modern time) and I’m so fucking lonely !! !! !! now I’ve gotta die to turn on the eye and then what?! no one is coming back for me!! I don’t even know where Alex is, I’m just praying that I’ll survive after dying to get Elijah and keep him safe, but this shit sucks!
#y'know the funny thing is#i spent almost an entire month and a half#rewriting assassin's creed--just all of it--with the intention that desmond stays alive and eventually gets to live happily#which is still the main endgoal of the protocreed au#but like??? every character in AC that would've treated Desmond well was DEAD and all of his living allies would most definitely use him#even if they're his family or friends he would never be put firts#*first#i was genuinely thinking about giving up on the rewrite simply bc in canon there is no character that was alive and willing to treat Desmond#like he's someone that matters#and i knew that Desmond time traveling was a thing but I still wanted the modern day era to still have weight#and the way ubisoft wrote their ac games is that: there is no hope. not really#no matter what you or other people do good will never win#and i was truly unsure how to get around that depressing narrative#but then!!!#suddenly protocreed!#i don't know what possessed me to plug that disc back in but--#i played that game and i was like: yeah he's dating desmond#like-I don't even know how to say this#but Desmond and Alex OTP for the win and i don't have any in universe explanation for it (on Desmond's side) simply bc#both the assassins and the templars don't let the man socialize they just plug him in the animus and expect him to be seen and not heard#like the Manhattan connection was really easy to make since Desmond was kidnapped there and then returns in AC3 to make a lovely full cirlce#but all I could think was Alex definitely loves this man#they make each other better AND worse#anyways#this is a lot of tags talk about Alex and Desmond#when Alex isn't even in the main post but#Altaïr Claudia and Ezio are Desmond's closest family#and he's very close to Connor and Aveline but he's taken for such a fucking ride#when the grandparents that took him in when he was truly in a bad way#ends up being the same people who are his ancestors and not? dead?
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obeymeow · 1 year
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being neurodivergent is all fun and games until you remember those hourly quote bots on twitter and think well maybe I can't make a bot anymore but I could schedule a few quotes a day, that shouldn't be hard. it sounds fun to have a bunch of quotes of my favorite character Thirteen from hit mobile game Obey Me! and its sequel Obey Me! Nightbringer. and then you think about how arduous collecting the quotes is going to be but she's only been in the games for maybe a year and a half with little screentime and you love collecting things so you start but then you remember that you love collecting things so naturally you have ALL of her screentime in the game and suddenly you have 45k characters of quotes and are several lessons into season 4 (which is truly a trial in and of itself) but not nearly close enough to the end but you refuse to just stop collecting the quotes and make the account with the EXCESS of what you have already because you literally only have season 4 to get through and if you don't do it just seeing the bot (because now you've been informed you can make tumblr bots instead) will haunt you with that knowledge even if nobody else would ever know. this is a general anecdote of a situation that could easily happen to anyone though and not in any way related to my life
#obey me on side#ummm i don't have a personal tag yet because i hated looking at this blog before the revamp so i'll do that later#with the carrd. usually when i say i'll do something later it means sometime in the next 3 years but i actually mean this one#but rn there's no way to tell i'm a lesbian (except for the thirteen icon. + probably also the ruri-chan banner she's lesbian colors)#okay maybe you can tell but I want to be CLEAR#anyway i would also like to note that immediately before starting this project i spent a full week lamenting my lack of free time#because I wanted to write some fics. and then literally as soon as i got free time I went um. no. quote doc instead I think#????? girl why did you do that to yourself#fortunately i'm now bored of reading s4 so i can go back to writing#unrelated but all of these fics contain a significant amount of solomon and i like him that's not surprising but it was unintentional#which IS surprising. like okay one of them is about solodeus (specifically mc playing matchmaker so i don't clickbait) so that's obligatory#and another is based off of the new solomon card (IT'S CUTE) so that's also kind of obligatory#(the third one is based off of luke's card from the dnd nightmare a while back because i was entranced by its strange unbalanced party)#but usually i try to switch up the characters i write about to get comfy with all of them and not just the ones that make sense to me#that's not entirely accurate it's my one braincell bouncing around like a windows screensaver picking a new fave every time it hits a side#but also to get used to writing them all. anyway#i'll just write about satan to balance it he's always been a fav but i am obsessed with him in nightbringer he is so offputting and tragic#if you're still reading these tags please see above on th 'later is up to three years' in regards to the fics still haven't posted anything#hoping to change that soon though I WILL eventually.
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hiddenbeks · 11 months
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made a dragonborn paladin for a co-op campaign with my brother n im already too attached 😔
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poorlittlevampire · 10 months
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ohhhhh the new argenti trailer. nevermind. i MUST have her
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moe-broey · 2 years
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NOT a Three Houses hater for the record. More of a fake fan than anything LMFAOOOOO
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dispotatorulzz · 10 days
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They need to give me an online part time job that requires no customer service and is just putting in numbers and doing noting/organizing or something I could do that so good
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kingdom-creatin · 3 months
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Actually I have much to say on that specifically (re: last reblog) with the novel so since I can't spam this to my first reader without tearing down plot flow for them I will throw it all here in some form of word vomit because yeah.
The second protag in the book, Lucian, starts off as a really nasty guy. He's got a lot of opinions formed over the years from his childhood and from working for Imperialism Navy that he's fully fed into. He views the majority of the main cast as lesser or as natively dangerous and evil and actively antagonizes a few of them for the first third/half of the book. Most frequently this involves the other main protag, Haeseom, someone who the navy had once owned and raised from birth as a slave general for them but who escaped and now works to take them down. Think everything that a big military power might say to their troops about an escapee that they know they can't win against and that's Luca's view of Haeseom. Eventually his active assholishness dies off and he and the cast are growing to tolerate each other, but his opinions are definitely still there. Throughout the book, he's forced to contend with his attitude, realizing that a lot of the ideas that he's been living in are false or warped. It's also revealed that the seed for this in him is an internalized hatred towards the fact that he has but cannot use magic and feeling like he would be ostracized from both camps.
Learning this does not excuse his actions in the past. Especially with respect to Daria, someone he knew from before, whom he betrayed (alongside their families and family friends, their whole community) so viciously it resulted in the death or capture of nearly a hundred people, for which he was rewarded with rank - all an incentive to join the navy with honors. There's one scene where Daria finally confronts him directly after he does something stupid and gets punished for it. She calls him out for failing to change, for holding onto these views as if the deaths in their past mean nothing, for being selfish and bigoted and yet acting as if they could become friends again, when his own views put her as lesser than him as well.
Even with all of this, by the end of the book Lucian is not redeemed and, as Daria says herself, he's not forgiven. He's growing, yes. He's learning to recognize faults in his views and acknowledge his bigoted attitude, yes. But he's not there yet. He was an asshole, he's still an asshole, and he's learning to try but he's not suddenly a good person. Along that same line, I'm trying to figure out how best to really nail home within the plot but without becoming too heavy handed that Daria does not and very likely will never forgive him and that's also okay. Like, I wanted him and all the ache and emotions with all of this to feel real and to hurt.
I enjoy stories where the asshole transforms by the end into someone who's sincere and sincerely dedicated to being a good person, like, those are good stories. But I'd never feel fulfilled if I made Luca one of them. I needed him to come in as an asshole and to leave as an asshole, with nuance in the fact that he is narratively changed and that he does realize that he could be a better person and that he starts to become one... but he's not there yet and even when he does get there, it doesn't mean any of his past is forgotten or forgive, just that he's been granted the chance to be better moving forward.
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