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elsplayground · 6 months

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Goverment Hooker

dbf Joel Miller x f!reader ( Joel is a Security Guard )

Summary: Joel miller, your dad’s best friend is a security guard for celebrities. He takes you to one of his jobs as part of a university homework you need to do, but he let his guard down.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI ! No outbreak, Unprotected p in v, mutual masturbation, explicit smut, a lil dominant Joel, secret relationship, orgasm denial, edging, dirty talk, fingering, semi-public sex, very slight bondage ( hand tied up, can easily be freed if wanted),Age gap, DBF Joel because who doesn't like that tbh, reader is in her 20', No body description except outfit and gender, no outbreak, porn w/plot, fluff, kind of slowburn.

w/c: 6k ( i'm actually proud for a second time )

a/n: Second smut !! i'm so proud of this one it's wayyy longer than the first one i did and like 10 times better (crying). Also theres a fanart on the banner but when i found it on pinterest the artist wasnt tagged :((( so please if you know who it is please feel free to comment !! love you whoever is reading this <3

Thank you for reading <3 notes, comments and reblog are heavily appreciated !!

“I need to do this uh…homework” you chew on your food. Good, delicious, and steamy coming right out of the stove. “I have to go to one of you two’s job and make a report” you stab one of the peas in your plate. “I mean I’d gladly take you but you know how boring my job is, huh? And your mom’s abroad” your dad says, rushing to eat his plate.

Your dad works a night job at an Amazon warehouse, something about packing orders, taking a box, putting wrapping paper and the object inside the box, taping it up, taking another box, putting wrapping paper inside, and bla bla bla… Your mom, she’s an airplane pilot going around the world. She’s barely home but she always make sure to send you some well decorated cards with landscapes on them, or to ship some gifts like magnets, you love magnets, your fridge is full of it by now but you still getting excited every time a small box arrives home. But like your dad said, you can’t possibly go with her. “Maybe you should go with Miller, from across the street, remember him ?” Of course you do, even though your dad and him didn’t meet for a long time like they used to. You kind of miss the nights around the barbecue where they would both laugh their ass off together, but now this barbecue is black and grey with dust of burnt charcoal that hasn’t been cleaned in a while. You haven’t talked to Miller since the last time the three of you met for dinner. The only interaction you’d have with him now would only stop at a little wave from across the street and a “hey how you doing?” every once in a while when leaving the house. “I mean why not…” you think. “What’s his job? We haven’t talked in a long time, wasn’t he in a contracting job or something like that ?” Your plate empty, you get up and pick up your plate along with your dad’s and put them into the dishwasher. “ yeah… think he got some problems with his brother, and they were both fired for some reasons. Now I don’t know what he’s doing but he’s wearing black suits every morning when he leaves so maybe it’s a job interesting enough for you to work on it.” He sighs, like a dad sigh, and gets up from his chair, walking out of the room. “food was good honey” he smile. That same night, your dad left for work while you’re in front of Miller’s door. The lights are on inside, it’s dim and gives a comforting vibe to his house which is quite unexpected for a man as rough and difficult as Mr. Joel Miller. You knock on the hard wood of his door, kind of hesitant because why would you go see your neighbor for a homework based on your parents? You shake your head. Whatever, no one is going to know anyways. The door open in a quick swift with a sudden smell of crackling fire and…roasted potatoes and meat? “Hey Miller,” you greet looking into his eyes, brown and sleepy. “I’m sorry to bother you but I had a question quite important.” He smile and nod “whatcha want kiddo’?”. You forgot his seductive accent, a while back it wouldn’t have the same effects that it has on you right now. You’re still a little hesitant to ask, afraid to bother him this late and during dinner. “I have this homework I’m supposed to do on one of my parent’s job. I have to go with them for like a day and make a report, but my parents are too busy, and dad told me to ask you instead” “Well, I’d gladly help you but uh, it’s quite early in’a mornin” “That’s fine, I can get up early.” You smile at him “Well now that you’re here,” he looks back to his kitchen, then back at you. “I got spare dinner here, wanna eat here so we can talk about this a little and maybe if you want…crash here for the night? The job has flexible hours so if I get a call earlier, I need ya to be ready.” This was kind of unexpected, but you’re surprised, a good surprised. “I’m down but I didn’t take any clothes with me. Honestly, I wasn’t sure you’d agree with this.”

You laugh it off, kind of embarrassed and a bit flustered. “I’ll give you something to sleep in” he smiles.

Spending the night at his house, eating dinner with him. All these emotions, the butterflies in your stomach is all new. You never really thought about it, but hell Mr. Miller is kind of hot. You’ve always dated guys your age. Some were good and some others disappointing, but you never thought of dating someone older and especially not this old or anyone being your dad’s best friend. The forbidden love that is so slowly and so suddenly growing in you. Why now? Why him. You sit down at the end of the table. Joel’s in the kitchen preparing the food. He brings the plates to the table, and he sit at your left, close to you. And you were right, it was potatoes and meat, and it was quite good compared to what you thought Joel was capable of and it’s quite pleasing to be eating this good. After a while talking about your homework, how the day would most likely go and you daydreaming about how hot he is the more you look at him, he offers you to watch a movie before bed. You both sit down and start watching this movie called Curtis and Viper 2, you’d figure it’s his favorite since he can’t stop going “oh look here” or “I love this scene” every once in a while. After what feels like a hour, your eyes are slowly closing and before you realize, your head is on his shoulder. It was slowly falling with time, and by the look on his face he doesn’t seem to be too bothered about you getting so close to him. “Wake up sweetheart” his voice is calm. You lift your head to follow the sound of his voice “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that,” you say while standing up. “I think I’m gonna take a shower before bed.” You go upstairs and into the bathroom. It’s quite big and smells like colognes and 3 in 1 shampoo. You always feel weird taking a shower at other people’s house, scared someone might walk in so you cough loudly to let the whole house know someone’s in here. You take a big towel for your body, a small one for your face and hair and hang them both on the dryer to make them warm for when you get out. The water is hot and steamy, droplets hits your face like ashes from a fire and you’re hot but not just from the water. Your core keeps burning for him and it gets worst with time. You can’t stop thinking about him, His face, his body, his shirt showing every detail of his biceps, his veins going down his arm and hands, his calloused fingers from playing guitar touching you, feeling your body. Fuck. Too far. You rinse the soap off your body and step out of the shower. The light is dim and making you even more sleepy than you already are. You put on whatever moisturizer Joel has in his bathroom filled with man products, breaking your skincare for one night won’t affect your skin too much. Suddenly the door open. Maybe you should’ve fucking coughed instead of daydreaming like a teen. Joel stops, his mouth slightly open in an “o” shape.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry sweetheart I should’ve knocked first,” he turns his head around as you quickly grab your towel from the floor and wrap it around you. “ ‘forgot to give you clothes before you got in.” He hands you the clothes, his clothes, considering Sarah has left a long time ago. “It’s okay you can look, I’m covered.” You say shyly. He turns back to you and unconsciously look you up and down without saying a word. You take the stash from his hands. “Thank you, I’ll be out in a minute” you smile. You finish changing in his shirt, a too-big dark brown shirt with his name embroidered on the top right part, must be from his old job as a contractor. You figure you’d be better in your panties rather than the pants he gave you considering the weather and how warm it is in this house. You go back into the living room and start searching for a blanket to sleep in. Luckily one big enough to cover your body but not your feet is folded neatly in a drawer under the TV. “Whatcha doin?” Joel goes down the stairs. “Oh I’m just…getting my bed ready” “There’s no way you’re sleeping here,” he says, in a commanding tone “Sarah’s room is my gym now, so you’ll sleep in my bed.” You let out a muffled laugh “yeah like you’ll sleep on a damn couch with your broken back you old grandpa ?” He looks at you with a crooked smile, a little hurt since you called him a grandpa but your personality makes him smile. “Yeah well what do ya suggest smartass ?” You’re hesitant to even try to suggest it but hell if he doesn’t want you on the couch then you need to try other solutions no matter how embarrassing they can be. “Then let’s both sleep in your bed.” You both end up in his bed. It’s awkward, a lot, but at least it’s comfy. Joel is long fallen asleep while you twist and turn every few minutes trying so hard to sleep but something is keeping you awake, something deep down in your core. Joel turns and end up facing you, still sound asleep. You can’t help but look at him and all his features. His crooked nose, his wrinkles softer than when he’s awake. It makes you realize that he’s almost constantly frowning, giving him a mean gaze that could scare people that don’t know him personally. But here, now, he’s so soft and so different. Oh, and he’s shirtless. It’s distracting but you’re in panties, so it feels a bit more casual. His skin is slightly tanned, just the perfect kind of tanned at this time of the year, and it’s a good tan, a brown one not a tomato kind of tanned. Fuck, you need to sleep. You turn around trying not to think about him and finally sleep, when you suddenly feel something against you. Joel moved closer, and he’s now wrapping his arm around your waist. Your breath stops for a second. It’s probably just a reflex from his body but he’s so warm, a good warm even though it’s hot under the sheets but you don’t want to wake him up. The sensation in your core is growing, like an alien trying to come out of your stomach to eat you out. “Fuck you Miller” you whisper. You hear a phone buzz and it’s waking you up. Joel is still holding you but now he’s closer and you can feel something hard on your lower back. It makes you blush but no matter how hard you try, his arm is holding you tight and you can’t escape. “Joel,” you shake his arm slowly. You hear him grumble. “Your phone is ringing”.

“Shit” he finally wakes up and it takes a few seconds for him to realize the position he’s in, and the way his body reacted to yours. “I’m so sorry, I uh… I have no excuse” he jumps out of the bed and takes his phone. He takes the call and leave the room. You check the clock. 5 a.m., you throw yourself back into the bed. “a C might’ve been better than this” you spit. Joel comes back in the room after a few minutes. “Just got a call, some job for us in a city nearby, you should get dressed” he leaves the room once again.

You put on the same clothes as yesterday, a black tank top with black shorts and some converse. You thought maybe dressing all black just like Joel’s uniform would make you look a bit more professional.

“You look stunning” Joel says, entering the room in a full black costume. It’s neatly ironed, not a single wrinkle in sight.

“Looking good too, Miller,” you walk towards him and tighten his tie a bit more.

He smiles “thanks angel”. Dammit, can’t he stop with the pet names, he’s going to make you blush.

“So, where are we going?” you tie your shoe laces in a tight ribbon

“I told ya’, a city a few minutes away from here. We’re taking my truck.”

You already took a trip in Joel’s truck when you were younger, but it was different, your dad was here to do the conversation and make things less embarrassing but now it’s a whole different situation. You still don’t know what to do with your feelings, should you tell him on the road? during the job? you can’t think straight with the small time of sleep you had.

You both hop into his truck; the weather is still quite hot for an early morning.

“How much time till we get there?” you buckle up and look at your phone.

“We got 20 minutes, you can put on some music if you want”

You connect your phone and put on some Arctic Monkeys on. You’re still debating if you should try to make a move on Joel because honestly, you’re starting to miss getting laid, and trying it out with an older guy would be fun.

But the fact that Miller is your dad’s friend makes it weird. Would he get along with it? Or would he just stop you the moment you put your lips on his?

Giving it a try won’t hurt considering you barely see him anyways so avoiding him won’t be too hard. Just no waving and no “Hi Mr. Miller” from across the street.

After like 5 minutes, Joel finally talks.

“Are you seeing anyone? Some guy from your school?” He lowers the volume of your music.

“No, why?” Here. Make a move. “Would you be jealous if I was?” you open the drawer in front of you and search for some candy, every sane people has some sweets in their car. You find a lollipop and unwrap it.

“ ‘twas just a question” he says as you put the lollipop in your mouth and lay your feet on the dashboard. He side eyes you and sigh.

“Well, no, no one’s interesting enough, I guess. Everyone is so focused on school; I haven’t seen a single person kiss another in the corridors or in some empty classes.”

You lick at your lollipop as you make eye contact with him. “Guess I should try older.” You smirk.

You see him adjust in his seat and taking a deep breath. He turns the volume back on to the song.

“How many secrets can you keep ?

‘Cause there’s this tune I found

That makes me think of you

somehow”

This song couldn’t be even more on point than now.

“What about you,” you ask, “You seeing anyone?”

“Not really, not really searchin’ for sum’ serious right now” he leans on the edge of his window, putting his hand into a fist to cover his mouth, he fidgets.

“So like… you just want sex?”

He chokes on his own saliva and coughs “What the fuck are you on about? Jesus “he spits “I mean, maybe, but I’m not actively searching or anythin’”

“You got any age preference?” You take a chance.

“Uh…No, not really” You turn to him, making your belt a bit longer so you can get comfortable.

“Would you fuck me?” You lick on your lollipop; it has become a small pink ball now with all the sucking and licking.

“Jesus girl, you’re my best friend’s daughter” he doesn’t even seem angry or annoyed at the question somehow.

“You didn’t say no though” you smile.

“Doesn’t mean I agree.”

“Okay but, imagine if I wasn’t, would you?” he keeps looking at your lips while you talk.

“You gotta learn how to walk before learning how to run, sweetheart”

“What if I wanna run though?” You say as his grip tightens on the wheel, his knuckles turning white.

You both arrive at a hotel Joel’s company booked before you two arrived. It’s a nice place, a 5 stars hotel. He must stay at the same hotel as the person he has to protect, obviously.

“They booked us…well, me, a single bedroom since it wasn’t really planned for you to come, so we’ll have to share a bed” Joel say

“Again” you smirk. He’s probably already annoyed by you, but he still hasn’t complain, you just assume.

“Come” her orders you, you follow him to the room.

It’s quite big, it has a double bed with dark burgundy sheets and pillows, a big shower along the right side of the room that is basically the size of a whole bathroom, there’s two showerheads and the walls are transparent, so yes, a few meters long shower. What for? No idea.

The toilets are on the other side of the room along with a double sink and a huge light up mirror and fancy soaps you will definitely steal. There’s windows and a balcony in the between with a fancy view on the city.

“We’re gonna have to sleep here tonight if that’s okay with ya’, we might come back home late, and the room is free so we should enjoy instead of going home.”

two nights in a row in the same bed as Joel wasn’t something you’ve planned but you’re not mad about it, to be honest. As long as your assignment is complete…hopefully.

“We got an hour before we have to leave,” he put his bag to the side of the bed. “You can sleep a bit if you want, try to take back the hours of sleep you lost.”

Wait? is he aware that you were awake? Did he grab you on purpose? There’s no way.

“I’m not really tired anymore,” you sit on the bed in front of Joel as he unbuttons his suit jacket. You look up at him and bite your lips. You’re praying inside that he doesn’t reject you, that he follows your movements.

“Well, ion’ know what else you could do besides wait here like a behaved girl” Fuck, was this intentional? If not, it still turned you on.

You have no idea what to do right now, unbuckle his belt, suck him off? Or tease him?

Tease him.

You stand up and start walking towards the huge transparent walls shower, taking off your clothes on the way. Once arrived in the shower, you stand under the showerhead, open the water hose, and turn around searching for Joel.

He’s looking at you with black eyes, devouring you with his hands on his hips.

“Fuck” he spits.

He hurries to unbutton his shirt and take his fancy well ironed pants off along with his boxer.

Oh.My.God.

Your heart has never raced this fast in your life. He’s so big and he’s not even hard yet, you wonder how you never notice it before.

He gets into the shower and stand right in front of you under the shower, the water dripping down his hair and the tip of his nose.

“I don’t know what the fuck ya’ want from me, but you’re tempting me you fucking tease” His word travel down your spine and reaches your core.

His hands slide down your side, reaching your panty line.

“You have an hour to choose if you want to have fun or if you wanna go get a snack and get ready to write your lil’ presentation about me” his face gets closer to yours as your back arches.

“What if I want you to be my snack?” You say, slightly touching the tip of his cock growing bigger the more he looks at you.

He takes your wrists and pin them above your head and hold them up with one of his hands as the other grip one of your breasts. His fingertips are slightly twisting your nipple as he brings his lips to yours, indulging in a dirty, filthy kiss being washed away by the water running down.

Your hand grabs his shaft, stroking it slowly. “You’re so dam’ teasing’, if your father finds out I’m making out with his daughter, I’m a dead man” he growls as your hand twist slightly when reaching the tip of his cock

“We can keep it secret.” You smirk

“You wanna be my dirty little secret, huh?”

You hear a phone ringing on the bed, but Joel turns your head back to him. “Leave it, they’ll call back.”

After a session of teasing and kissing in the too-big shower, the both of you come out of it all wet and steamy. Joel picks up a towel and wrap it around you. He takes another one, smaller, and dries your hair with it. He is so gentle even though you’ve been closed to him for a few hours only, the day before he would only see you as the daughter of your best friend that lives across the street, nothing more.

Joel walks to the bed and pick up his phone, his towel around his hips.

“Fuck!” He screams. “Boss called, the woman I was supposed to work for left earlier, we should’ve been gone by now” He put his clothes back on, muttering shit shit shit while doing so.

A black car with tinted windows comes out of the underground garage of the hotel and stops right in front of you.

“You’re in fucking trouble Miller” The driver guy said. He is big, his black vest almost merging into one with his muscles.

Joel opens the door for you and almost pushes you in.

“We’re ten minutes away from her, you better get yourself ready M” he says, hitting the gas.

You feel something on your thigh, crawling all the way from your knee to the base of your leg, Joel’s warm hands are touching you, slowly going towards your inner thigh.

“What are you doing?” you whisper. He gets closer to your ear while his hand finally touches your clit through your panties.

“You got me in trouble, made me lose my mind just so I could touch you,” He pulls your panties to the side and slide two fingers through your slit, wetting them just before entering your core with thick digits.

You struggle to keep your pleasure to yourself as a few squeals comes out of your mouth. The car is going fast, the sound of the engine covering whatever filthy sounds you make.

His other hand is reaching for the neckline of your top, his finger slightly pulls on it to have a quick peek of your breasts. You keep panting, his finger crooked into you, reaching that soft spongy spot that makes you shiver if it’s played with a little too much.

“ ‘Atta girl” he say, your heart pounding harder, getting closer to your climax and then…

He stops. Fuck

Your walls are clenching around nothing, it’s demanding for more, something bigger. It’s only waiting for him, but how much longer can you hold it?

The car pulls up to a fancy restaurant with a forest green and gold storefront. You see a few paparazzi outside taking pictures from afar, probably of the girl inside.

The driver gets out of the car and pull out his phone, calling to get orders.

“Take them off” Joel says looking at you, then your hips

“What…My panties?” you frown.

“Yeah” He smirk, and he’s so damn hot when he does.

You take your shorts off along with your panties. They’re black with some floral lace at the top, hot but still comfortable and covering.

Joel takes it in his hands and makes a small ball of fabric out of it and put it in the back pocket of his jeans. “Mine” he whispers, kissing you one last time before getting out of the car, holding out his hand for you to follow him.

“We have to secure the perimeter and make sure none of this fuckers get in” the big guy say as you take out your notebook and a pen from your backpack and start taking notes: how things start, Joel’s role, his coworkers, and other thing you couldn’t care less about because right now your mind is focused on Joel and not his work, more like the stuff in his pants.

You follow Joel inside the restaurant as he gives his name to the front desk. He sits you at a table near the outside window.

“Sit here so I can keep an eye on ya’ from outside, take your notes here…look at me and scribble whatever you needa scribble,” he gently caresses your hair as you look up to him “Order anything ya’ want, it’s on me sweetheart” he kisses your forehead and rushes outside, seating at an outside table as a server brings him a cup of coffee. He looks so damn professional for a man who has finger fucking you just a few minutes ago while on your side, you can’t stop thinking about him, your inner thigh still dripping wet.

You order the breakfast menu with some fancy beacon and eggs with toast that cost way too much for little to no change compared to the ones you make at home.

The lady Miller and his big friend are supposed to watch is not far away from you, she’s really pretty, you actually don’t know who she is but considering her style she might be a model, or an actor…or a singer?

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, you see a number pulling up with a text.

Unknown Number: Still wet baby ?

You: Joel ??? howd u get my number?????

You save his number into your contacts.

Joel: Your dad just gave it to me, in case

You put your phone back on the table and keep writing stuff on your notebook, adding more details to the things you’ve already summed up earlier.

Your phone buzzes again.

Joel: what you writing ?

You: Shouldn’t u be watching that girl instead of me ?

Joel: yeah but I’d rather focus on you and ur bare pussy

You: omg shut up and do your work so I can have an A+

After a full day of running around town following that lady no matter where she’d go; Louis Vuitton, Prada, a random grocery store for some Redbull. All this while Joel and the big guy were watching her along with a few paparazzi they had to push away. You? You were standing behind Joel the whole time, trying not to be a menace to his job like this morning. All this time of walking around in no panties with only your shorts for cover, you finally go back to your hotel room, exhausted.

“Fuck it I’m so damn tired” You pant after walking up to your room.

Joel comes from behind, throwing your bag away and grabs you from behind, nestling his nose in your neck.

“You too exhausted to get taken care of angel?” you feel his lips curving into a smile against your skin. “Maybe I have a little energy to play a bit” you smile too.

He spins you around and crashes his lips onto yours, taking your breath away in a second. He starts undoing your shorts, freeing your cunt for good. He immediately slides his hand down to feel the wetness between your legs.

“You’re so damn wet, is it all because a’me baby?” he says, close to your ear.

“You made me wait all day long,” you say, “don’t act so surprised.”

“Stop being such a brat, honey, I’m gonna take good care of you, like no one did before.”

And you know he doesn’t lie, just this morning in the shower and in the car, he treated you way better than any man did before, not that Miller is so damn special but the boys you were with were mostly unexperienced or scared, now at least he knows where your clit and your G spot is.

You’d never thought you’d do this with a person way older than you but now that you think about it, it should’ve been on your bucket list for a while.

He starts kissing you, again and again, not letting a single air particle get through your mouth as he pushes you until the back of your knees touches the table behind you. He grabs your waist, lift you up and sits you on it.

He quickly parts your legs to make space for him as you start to unbutton his plain white shirt.

“You’re so damn hot in that costume Mr. Miller,” you say as he growls for an answer “too bad we need to take it off.”

His bulge is growing bigger with time, his tip pushing onto the zipper. You’re still amazed by how big it is, even though it hurts sometimes it can be exciting.

He finally unzips his pants and take his boxer away while you take your shirt off in a hurry. His cock is throbbing, touching in between your legs almost like its attracted to you like a magnet.

The horniness is high today, the both of you couldn’t stop looking at each other. Him scanning your body up and down when you walk, devouring you with his eyes.

“I hope you touch yourself thinkin’ ‘bout me after that” and he’s right, you might. Touching yourself surely isn’t as good as Joel touching you, or even fucking with him which you’re going to find out, but maybe thinking of him would make it better.

Excitement is pooling in your core, and it’s about to overflow. Your body is heating up as Joel rub himself against your folds, spreading your fluids all over his shaft. Your hips can’t stop moving back and forth almost begging for him to finally get in, to fill you, possess you.

“Please, Joel, please just fuck me already” you keep begging for him.

A slight laugh comes out of his mouth as he finally pushes in and fuck, he’s so big, bigger than you thought it would be inside of you but it’s just perfect. He stretches you just right, almost like he belonged to you, and you belonged to him like a key belongs to one single door.

He starts pushing in, slowly, but your body decided otherwise and started pushing in even more.

“Hey honey, relax,” he takes back the inches you took from him “I wanna go slow, don’t wanna hurt my girl” The stretch did hurt a little bit but it’s like your pussy needs more.

His hips are going back and forth slowly but it still makes you moan, his thick shaft stimulating your inside just right.

“Just like that, baby.” He wet his lips. Your hand goes down and rubs your clit, following his pace.

“That’s it girl, keep touching yourself like that,” he rasps. His head falls back as he feels you tighten around him. “I love seeing you touch yourself like that baby”.

His hips start to trust faster and deeper, rubbing on your g-spot making you shiver after a few times with your hand stimulating you.

Your nails keep digging into his back, and it hurts him. You know because he keeps frowning. “Fuck baby your nails are sharp as fuck” Getting long black Stiletto nails was a bad idea.

He crashes his lips onto yours as he suddenly lifts you up in his arms, his cock still in you.

“Imma make you pay for those marks” He says as he look in the mirror behind him giving a full view on the mark you imprinted on him.

He throws you onto the bed, making your walls suddenly clench around nothing. You see him grab his tie he left on the bed earlier and brings it around your wrists.

“Oh -- so your form of punishment is to tie me up, huh?” you smile.

“Uh huh” he nods.

He makes a tight knot; you know for sure it’s going to leave marks on your wrists…that’s his way of making you pay for his.

He throws your arms over your head, one of his hands holding you down. Your unable to move, unable to feel his body with your hands, this is the worst punishment you could think of for your first time knowing you probably won’t see each other for a while once you go back home, unless you hide, all this until maybe this goes further and one day you reveal to your dad that you’re fucking his best friend for a while. Damn it, you shouldn’t be thinking about this, right now you should focus on Miller and enjoy the night while it last.

He keeps fucking you deep and rough, your hand still tied up firmly. He pounds into you, changing his pace from time to time until you’re on the edge of cumming, finally.

“Joel please, I’m so close” your brows furrow, your head is spinning with excitement, and it get worse the closer to your climax you get.

“Cum for me baby, I’ll cum after you do” Looks like he put women first, he’s a gentleman.

After more moans, and more trusting, you finally come, your juices spreading all over him.

“Atta’ girl, good job” he praises you, and fuck he’s doing it well. He finally comes too, emptying out on your belly.

“Fuck Joel, I love you”

You didn’t mean to say that – but maybe you do, kind of. Good thing he doesn’t seem to have noticed as he kisses your forehead, gets up and walk to the opened shower. He comes back holding a small towel that he submerged in warm water. “There, baby” he says while cleaning your tummy.

After a whole night fucking with Joel multiple times and discovering more things about your body, and new positions, you finally go back home. Your essay is done and hopefully going through all this will get you an A+.

You’re on your couch with your dad, talking about how your day went while watching TV, obviously skipping the whole fucking your best friend part, when the broadcast is showing pictures of the woman Joel had to cover yesterday.

“Oh, look that’s her !” You say, excited. “That’s the woman we were with yesterday, didn’t talk to her, she seemed nice even though she’s a celebrity and they’re often viewed as self-centered and unaware but she-“

Your dad pauses the TV and looks at you with wide eyes, cutting you off. You look at the image on the wide flat screen and see you and Joel kissing in 4K HD right in front of your dad, furious. Your heart skips a beat, or multiple.

“You got some explaining to do, young girl.”

<3 Hr43s

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aropride · 2 months

Note

saw ur recommendation for 3m aura n95s 👀👀 any advice on where to get them from? heading back 2 school in a few weeks and wanna stock up — tysm !!!!!

ok so!! my first recommendation is to see if there is a mask block near you, in my area it was CRANE (covid resistance action northeast), they're having trouble stocking and filling orders rn so mine took ~a month to arrive but the time would've passed anyway as they say . if ur in a more urban area ur a lot more likely to have one near u tbh, idk if it'd work but it'd be worth reaching out to the closest one even if they're not technically working in ur exact area just to see . here's a map of mask blocs worldwide- they're mostly in america (continent - but mostly in the US+canada) & europe (mostly in great britian) but there are some others too

otherwise the safest way to get some that are 100% not counterfeit is ordering directly from a supplier, but that can be expensive . project n95 is inactive now but theres still a list of suppliers there !! 3m is really good from experience . u can also get n95s/kn95s/p100 respirators from home depot if u have one near u- however the supplyaid kn95s they sell arent very good, i had them and theyre better than nothing but they only have a 67% filtration rate (as opposed to the 95% expected from n95s and kn95s - thats what the 95 stands for i was mindblown when i discovered this)

also while im thinking about it, part of the reason n95s are more protective than kn95s despite both filtering 95% of particles is bc the seal on the n95 is a lot more reliable than the kn95 :}

me personally ive been getting mine from amazon (not recommended) (i have gift cards there so im not giving them My money at least) and trying my best to make sure they're legit . i referenced the 3m n95 1870s i got using this twitter thread and they seem to be legit? on amazon it also usually says where it ships from and check the storefront, the reviews etc etc. i basically have to do an entire vetting process every time its very annoying ❤️ it is a lot less expensive though, especially if they have a sale going . (here are the ones ive been getting- the listings look the same as of rn but amazon changes them all the time so take this with a grain of salt, person i imagined reading this in 2027. link 1, link 2)

ive tried the holy trinity (new term i made up for the 3m n95 1870 (red straps), 3m n95 9205 (blue straps), and 3m n95 9210 (braided white straps)) -- ime the 9210 definitely has the tightest head straps and i have an abnormally small head on account of being 3 inches tall and born in a thimble all alone . so thats something to be aware of, if u have an abnormally big head the 3m auras might not be the best bc of the strap tightness .

SORRY I'M LIKE INFODUMPING AT U NOW ..!! i have more though . If you know anyone irl who masks asking them where they get theirs might help, they might know stuff locally. ALSO speaking of knowing stuff locally- i don't know if this is universal but i have a friend who's getting really into asian cuisine and a lot of asian grocery stores ive been to with her in my area have had masks. that's such a long shot but ive seen them five out of six stores ive gone to and never at, like, hannaford or market basket or whatever.

OKAY ONE MORE THING . when i got my free masks from crane (SHOUTOUT CRANE I LOVE YOU CRANE) they also sent a thing abt how to reuse them that i will add !! they can be used for like 40 hours if theyre not visibly dirty or the straps dont break or anything

okay i am done infodumping now SORRY THIS IS SO LONG..!!! tldr: local mask bloc if it's an option is definitely the least expensive, project n95 compiled a bunch of links to buy from suppliers, home depot/other hardware stores are worth a shot, and amazon's an option especially if you're like me (poor but have money stuck in amazon gift cards) 🫡

#ask #creating-constellations #covid

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cindylouwho-2 · 1 month

Text

RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), AUGUST 2024

Hello, and welcome to my very last Ecommerce News update here on Tumblr.

After today, these reports will now be found at least twice a week on my Patreon, available to all paid members. See more about this change here on my website blog: https://www.cindylouwho2.com/blog/2024/8/12/a-new-way-to-get-ecommerce-news-and-help-welcome-to-my-patreon-page

Don't worry! I will still be posting some short pieces here on Tumblr (as well as some free pieces on my Patreon, plus longer posts on my website blog). However, the news updates and some other posts will be moving to Patreon permanently.

Please follow me there! https://www.patreon.com/CindyLouWho2

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

Etsy has banned gift certificates/cards sold by individual shops, as of Sept 15. Only Etsy Gift Cards are now allowed. The second quarter report press release says they plan on selling Etsy Gift Cards through third parties, but no official word on how and when yet.

Many Amazon Handmade sellers were unable to list new items after a site update on July 31 [post by me on LinkedIn]. While Amazon told sellers to apply for an exemption from the Product ID requirement, some report that is not working, or that they do not have the option to apply for one.

Reminder that Canadian Etsy shops will be charged a 1.15% Regulatory Operating fee on the item price and shipping cost as of August 15. [I’ve set a bunch of things to expire. If Etsy isn’t profitable enough to pay its taxes, maybe they should consider cutting executive pay instead of squeezing microbusinesses even more.]

ETSY NEWS

Etsy has updated its Privacy Policy, to take effect August 31. Changes include mention of biometric data. Note that some parts of the policy are screenshots, and therefore not easily searchable nor accessible to screen readers - I am not sure how they can get away with that. I used the Wayback Machine to do a comparison of the parts that software can actually read. There’s also a new US regional privacy policy, which currently covers laws in several states.

Etsy is promoting a Labour Day sale August 21-September 2, and has already set up the "Cyber Savings Sale" (November 18-December 3) for Cyber Week. You can schedule the official sales through links in the announcement.

Forbes covered Etsy’s sex toy ban [soft paywall; not safe for work photos]. To no one's surprise, plenty of the banned items are still found on site, including toys and vintage Playboy magazines.

Etsy is accused of allowing shops based in “illegal Israeli settlements in the occupied Palestinian territory” and profiting off of them. Etsy’s response: "[W]e have shared this information internally with the appropriate teams for review."

Etsy's promised program for buyers - Etsy Insider - will be rolling out as invite-only beta in September. It's a paid membership for US buyers and includes:

Free US domestic shipping on millions of items

A birthday bonus

Limited edition annual gift, designed by an Etsy seller

First access to special discounts and select merchandise

While some of the "special discounts" are paid by sellers, that is a voluntary program shops can sign up for here. That form also allows you to sign up to offer new items to Etsy Insiders first - “drops” - which does not involve offering discounts. Etsy has done these sorts of "offers" in the past, and I believe they have already reached out to sellers for the first round of offers in September (based on some emails I have received from shop owners).

You can now sign up for “Etsy Up”, the virtual sellers conference scheduled for September 10. However, despite saying they have announced “our agenda”, all that is provided is a vague set of topics (other than the fact they will be announcing the Etsy Design Awards Finalists). It makes me wonder if there are official Etsy announcements coming soon that they don’t want to reveal too early by posting the real agenda. If yes, around August 15 is a good bet, given that Etsy’s Search Analytics will end that day, and many new policies kick in on September 15, just one month later.

The Etsy app is showing rectangular listing images in search for some visitors, but it appears to be a test [Reddit thread with screenshot]. I wouldn’t change anything at this time.

No, Etsy has not replaced your listing tags. I covered that topic here on LinkedIn.

I wrote about the new Listing Image Requirement policy and the email Etsy sent to some sellers on Monday July 29. [post by me on Patreon] And not everyone is being fooled by Etsy’s new Creativity Standards, but some acknowledge it will be difficult for Etsy to turn away factory-made goods at this point. [Disclosure: I am quoted in that article]

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

Amazon

Amazon’s second quarter revenue was below expectations, and the company predicts nothing better in the third quarter.

In a surprising change, Amazon has decided to cancel overage fees for Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) inventory storage, retroactive to July 1.

Canadian Amazon sellers will be subject to a new digital services fee as of October 1. This is due to Canada’s new digital services tax.

In a case that may have an impact on other larger ecommerce sites, a court ruled that Amazon is responsible for recalls of products sold through Amazon, including through “Fulfilled By Amazon”.

US Amazon shoppers can now link their Pinterest and TikTok accounts to Amazon to be able to buy directly from Amazon ads on social media. This is already available on Facebook, Instagram and Snap.

Amazon is changing its refund policy for Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) users: if sellers do not receive an automatic reimbursement for loss, damage and returns, they will now only have 60 days to apply for one. A lot of ecommerce experts think Amazon is making a mistake in setting up a China to US section on the site.

eBay

eBay second quarter revenue and profit was higher than expected, but the third quarter projections are low.

The eBay app has taken a lot of flack for inserting ads between each item in a purchase history.

Poshmark

As marketplaces popular for pre-owned items compete for the best new stock, Poshmark is offering “rewards” for listing at least 1 item a week.

Shopify

Shopify had a better-than-expected second quarter, and expects a decent third quarter as well. Getting larger businesses to use Shopify has helped the tech company, but I still wonder how that affects the small and micro businesses who used to be the target market.

Walmart

The Walmart Marketplace has added Chile as its fourth country, after the US, Canada and Mexico.

All Other Marketplaces

Hundreds of business owners who sell on Temu held a protest at the marketplace headquarters on July 29. Fines for returns are one cited issue.

Payment Processing

Credit cards issued by Chase in the US will no longer allow third-party buy-now-pay-later purchases, as of October 10. Conveniently, they offer their own option, Chase Pay Over Time. PayPal has expanded the quicker checkout solution Fastlane to all US businesses, which fills in customer information without a log in.

#ecommerce #EtsySellerNews #etsy #microbusiness #cindylouwho2

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voidedaurora · 2 months

Note

Sorry if this isn’t the right place to ask ! How much are your custom oc commissions if you do them??

ITS OK!, would've been a bit better suited in my art blog but its ok i'll answer here just the same <3 I have a small post about general comms on ToyHouse an Twitter! https://toyhou.se/27831682.commissions-info-comms https://twitter.com/VoidedAurora/status/1795265429407219899 Heres a shortened comm post

Ranges are used together as a whole to help me personally decide the comm post when quoted Crop Ranges

Headshot -Icon - Bust: 10-45$+ Halfbody - thigh up's: 20-65$ Fullbody: 50-150$+

Quality Ranges

LowQ, Sketches, Doodles: 5-50$ Flat color + slightly shaded: 15-45$+ MedQ + Lightly rendered: 25-75$ HighQ + Rendered: 35-150$+

Extras

Backgrounds: 10-100$+ Extra characters: 10-100$ Alt versions: 10-40$+

ALL MY PRICES ARE IN USD! Payment methods -CashApp [preferred method!] -Paypal -Steam/Amazon/Nintendo/other gift cards -Nitro (only for comms that are 10-30$ and ones that are 100$)

Turnaround times are usually around 1-7 hours upon starting a commission with frequent updates Full renders or pieces with backgrounds may take 1-4 days! On rare occasions commissions can take longer. [If you are 1st in the queue this is the time you'll get! If you are waiting in line it'll be longer obviously] Custom characters/Oc's are around 35-90$ usually! prices mainly depend on how complicated the design you want is! anything super detailed or unique/extra will obviously make the price higher. After the first design is made if you want any further comms it'll go by the normal pricing guide :)

BLACKLIST: Bara/buff-males , Elderly, Extreme fetish centered art.

Feel free to shoot me a DM if you're interested, have questions, want to be quoted, or anything else of the sort :)

For commissions related to custom's you can look at my ToyHouse (Everything on there was made by me.)! https://toyhou.se/Voided_Aurora

#questions #artist #furryartist #art #voidedaurora #qna #Commissions

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roo-bastmoon · 1 year

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How to help Jimin this week

This is for US/PR ARMYs. International puppykitties, please keep going with whatever you know works in your countries. Fighting!

So last week, you might have bought Jimin's two physical albums and/or digital versions at Target, Amazon, iTunes, and WeVerse. And when the alternative covers for the digital album dropped on the BTS US store, maybe you got those too. If you didn't? Please do that by this Wednesday night at the latest.

So what happens this week, to avoid free fall?

Welp, you can buy the digital album on Qobuz using your Facebook login if you want, it's very easy. You can go pick up the 4 physical single CDs from the BTS US Store, if you wanna do that.

You definitely should make use of Jimin Funds, which will help you use PayPal, or you can go buy your own gift cards (pre-paid VISA or iTunes gift cards), and then you make new emails and just pick up the 5 digital versions of Like Crazy, which cost a whopping $3.70 all told. You can do this on iTunes and the BTS US store!

You should sign up for free trial premium streaming if you haven't already with Apple, Amazon, Spotify, and YouTube--and then a JRJ-OT7 Face-focused playlist should be playing on your computers, tablets, phones, and smart TVs 24/7 this week. On Spotify, you swamp accounts after 20 plays and on YouTube you swap accounts after 50 plays. Remember you can buy a song for 69 cents or you can play a song 150 times on a premium account.

And you need to tweet or call your local radio stations and politely ask for them to play Like Crazy English Version every morning and every evening.

Finally, please turn on notification for VoteforPJM and follow their instructions. You'll want to watch videos every day on the idol apps (Mubeat, FanStar, IdolChamp, etc.) so you can gather up free tickets to vote for Jimin to win awards. TMI? I literally do this when I go to the bathroom. I'm a captive audience anyway and it only takes a few minutes.

Listen...

I know you're tired. I know it's been a hell of a week. I know we have other members we will need to support soon. But from now until April 21, we fight and fight hard.

When you get tired, remember that Jimin used to diet until he passed out. Jimin used to work in the studio until 4am and then go to school at 6:30am and get straight A's. Jimin used to go on world tours while also getting his BA and MA and being a UN ambassador. Despite COVID and appendicitis and mail tampering and apartment seizure and death threats, Jimin worked hard on concerts and his album and Expo duties--even falling asleep in the studio most nights. For 10 long months, Jimin quietly took his pain and his loneliness and he turned it into art. He coded and he hid a love track... and he paid to do music shows and did fan calls... all for fans because he had something to share with us... and those of us who love him clearly see what he meant us to.

He did all this, and he made history. And the first thing he did was come live to credit BTS and ARMY.

Of course ARMY will have his back now, right?

#jimin #park jimin #jikook #face by jimin #like crazy by jimin

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ramonarevenge · 6 months

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Hey there. I'm a target employee, and I want to tell you something that could actually help you in the long run. No, this isn't a promotion for target. No, I'm not being paid to say this.

Scan everything you are buying. Target will price match.

If you frequent shopping at Target DOWNLOAD THE APP AND SCAN EVERY ITEM YOU INTEND ON BUYING WITH THE APP. THE ONLINE PRICES ARE SOMETIMES DIFFERENT FROM IN STORE PRICES, USUALLY BEING FAR CHEAPER, AND WE ARE REQUIRED TO PRICE MATCH THAT.

This is the home screen of the app. To scan a product you're going to locate:

This at the top of your screen and press:

That silly lil button right there.

Scan the barcode of every item that you intend on buying. I helped a lady the other night save $35 on a blow dryer. It rang up for $74.99, and after she scanned it with the target app, it came up as $40. Another woman was buying a big pokemon collectors box that was $54.99 in store, and around $39 dollars on the app. I'm not sure as to how many other price differences there are.

Another item I have discovered is always cheaper online is ANY books at target. Children's books, cook books, reading enjoyment books, all of them. Scan ALL of your books that you plan on purchasing. They are usually 3-7 dollars cheaper online.

Store websites Target will price match

•Walmart

•Best Buy

•Costco

•Apple

•Barnes and Nobel

•Chewy

•CVS

•Dicks Sporting Goods

•Gamestop

•Home Depot

•JC Penny

•Kohls

•Lowes

•Macys

•NewEgg

•Office Depot

•Petco

•Petsmart

•Sam's Club

•Staples

•Ulta Beauty

•Walgreens

•Amazon (FIRST PARTY SELLERS ONLY)

TARGET CIRCLE IS ALSO A VERY USEFUL TOOL.

Target Circle is the loyalty program created by Target and is entirely free. There are coupons and ads put on there that aren't shown in stores, and those that are usually hide that they're target circle exclusives.

There are usually also offers for gift cards after spending a certain amount on mostly cleaning supplies, laundry care, and necessities.

This is a no brainer for saving money In a world of rapidly rising and high prices. As a punk stuck working for a corporation because it is the only job I could get, I want to help people done whatever they can in spending money.

#target

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cravefoodie · 10 months

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Free $10 from Shopkick. Can get cash to paypal get any gift card you want. I got an Amazon card. Will take about 5 minutes to get this and get your gift card immediately!

1. Click https://www.shopkick.com/download and download app. Make NEW account, confirm email. Bonus is for new accounts only

2. Click on the top where it says Friend referral and type in code WIN60285 (must enter this code before anything else) Must do this to get the free money. If you don't see it on the top of the page you can click the little person icon on the menu on top left and enter it there

3. Click DISCOVER on the bottom right of the app. It will bring up a page with a bunch of different ads you can click on like Walmart, olay, tyson etc..

4. Click on each ad and scroll through the photos. Some will have a photo that is just a big present box (click the big presents). Once you click on that you will get 1 "Kick" point. You have to get 30 points in order to unlock the $10. Go through all the ads and find all the boxes. Sometimes it's the 2nd pic, sometimes the last etc.. sometimes they don't have a box at all. If so just skip and go to the next one until you find all 30 boxes. DO NOT WATCH THE VIDEOS. THE VIDEOS DO NOT COUNT TOWARDS THE 30.

5. Once you have 30 kicks you will get a bonus 2,500 kicks added to your account. You can check how many kicks you have by clicking the small bell on top right and clicking kicks activity. It takes about 2 minutes for the 2,500 to hit after you reach the 30

6. Once you have the 2,500 click the 2,500 on the top of the app and redeem them for whatever you want gift card or PayPal cash!

#free money #easy money #Christmas #Christmas money #food #delicious #yum #yummy #cash #holidays

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stargazer-sims · 2 years

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A few thoughts on the partnership between EA and Overwolf/CurseForge...

Personally, I think this is a bad idea on so many levels.

First of all, CurseForge pays creators. They generate money through ad revenue, so the downloads aren't really "ad-free". They just won't put a trojan virus on your computer.

CurseForge has what they call the "Reward System" and if you opt into it, you can get paid for your mods/CC. They aren't shy about saying that you get more reward points the more popular your project is. The points can then be converted into Amazon gift cards (in some countries) or actual money via PayPal deposits.

Essentially, what this means is that the creators who are already super popular and earning full-time job level amounts of money from their mods/CC will have yet another revenue stream (because Overwolf doesn't limit your ability to post on other platforms, such as Patreon or Boosty). Inversely, it means that small creators will earn very little, because one point is $0.05 USD (five cents). You would have to get at least 100 downloads just to earn $5, because they will not pay out in increments lower than $5.

I can tell you, 100 downloads sometimes feels like a lot. I have some creations with thousands of downloads, and some that have less than 100. Exposure and popularity have as much to do with this as with the actual content itself. Small-to-medium creators are not going to earn much from CurseForge, so that's not going to encourage them to join if they're in it as a side hustle. Patreon is still far more attractive in that regard. And if a creator is not into the commercialization of CC at all, then CurseForge may not be the best choice either, assuming they get approved to use it in the first place.

Let's talk a bit more about small or less popular creators. From my understanding, everyone is going to be allowed to apply to put their creations on CurseForge, no matter how big or small, but every creator will be vetted by Overwolf/EA (or "curated" as they put it). I can already see this being a problem for small-to-medium creators, people who are doing mesh edits, tuning mods and recolours. I have seen some absolutely brilliant mesh edits and recolours out there, offered to the community for free, but I suspect not all of these would be accepted by CurseForge. All this is going to do is create further divisions in a community that is already fractured and divided over the monetization of mods/CC and the gap between "popular" creators and small-to-medium creators. It's going to create a competition between creators that should not exist.

CurseForge is also, quite understandably, restrictive in the type of content it will allow. This means any mods that are questionable (sex, drugs, branded clothing & items, etc.) will not be permitted. If you want a mod to give your sim realistic genitalia, or you want them to have an Addidas hoodie, CurseForge is not the place to find it. This will either stifle the creativity of the community, or force these things further underground than they already are. Either way, it's problematic.

I get why EA is doing this, and from a business perspective, it makes total sense. It's about money and control. If they can get enough "good" creators on board now, and get the community used to the idea of one centralized hub for "authorized" CC, it'll be easier to eliminate revenue sources like Patreon later, and easier to make CurseForge the exclusive place to get CC when Sims 5/Project René (it's "reen" without the accent lol) eventually comes along. It's brilliant from a money-making perspective, but it does a huge disservice to the fanbase in my opinion, especially to creators who will never get enough (or any) exposure on CurseForge.

I know this is a bit of a rant, but my immediate instinct when I heard about the Overwolf/EA partnership was a hard no. Personally, I have no intention of trying to join CurseForge as a creator, even when the opportunity becomes available, and I sure as hell won't be downloading anything from it and giving money to people who shouldn't be turning mods/CC into a job in the first place. I've never contributed to the monetization of CC yet, and I'm not about to start doing it now.

/rant

#sapphire notes #curseforge #rant

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hotforharrison · 2 months

Text

It’s now been 12 weeks since we separated, and 8 since he moved out of what used to be our home completely. (A lot of his stuff is still here, though, because he doesn’t have space for it at the moment in his new place.)

Living alone in and of itself is something I despise, which I already knew from my college days and life before I met him, but living in the house we made into our home is devastating in ways I hadn’t anticipated.

I thought at one point that I’d adjust after a little while and find a roommate or two and stay here after the agreed upon period of time I have to get back on my feet – just pay for my portion of the rent and utilities.

But it hasn’t gotten any easier over the last two months – if anything, it’s gotten harder.

Days go by now when we don’t speak at all, and I can’t stop the constant reminders of him when his things and the memories we made here still surround me.

I can’t use a pencil eraser to erase a page covered with pen marks of the last decade we called this our home.

I’ve been gradually making changes, but it doesn’t override how fully and completely that this place was –well, still is in my heart– ours, and how much it’s a part of the 17 year long story we shared.

I’m not sure how to fully end this chapter while I’m still here, while he’s still my “landlord” of sorts, and I can’t make a clean break and have to live in this terrible in-between.

I’ve transitioned from making changes to make this house more “mine” into making strategic changes of things I don’t already have that I can take with me if I do choose to move out at the end of the agreed upon period, which I’m reasonably certain I will.

I have a handful of things that are definitely my own – a desk, a bookcase, a couple of fabric storage bin cube organizers. I think I could convince him to let me take the futon in my new room so I have a bed, but the vast majority of the furniture and things here are his and in his style.

I was happy to let him decorate and furnish our home with the things he likes because they’re a part of him, and I loved him and all of those parts.

There are a few money making apps I use (but I don’t recommend because of the return based on time investment) that I get cash or Amazon gift cards from, and my next purchase is going to be an inexpensive TV stand for the living room to put the TV I own on.

It’s not even close to as nice as his TV, but it doesn’t have to be. I don’t use it often at the moment – it’s more for spending time with guests watching something. It’s a Roku TV (a 6 year old model that hopefully still works with free streaming options). I use it so little that I won’t be buying any subscription services.

I’m boxing up his decor, and there’s so much of it, dividing down what is mine from the media bookcase (not very much, doubt it’s even a single shelf worth from a completely full tall bookcase). Something to put my paltry amount of media on is also on my list of things to acquire.

I’m in the process of rearranging the furniture in the living room so it might make me a little less sad when I hope to eventually host people, including my (fingers crossed) next boyfriend.

A divorce lawyer in a podcast I was listening to said 86% of people who divorce end up remarried within 5 years.

I hope I’m one of them.

I want to have someone to go through life with instead of walking this path alone.

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spiremire · 1 year

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its that time of year again

To all the new undergrads out there, here are the best ways I found to save money without completely sucking all the joy out of life, from a current grad student :) (a lot of this advice is usamerican-centric for students that live on/very close to campus because that was my undergrad experience)

Advice under the cut because I wrote too much:

School stuff:

Don't buy the textbooks from the bookstore. Especially don't buy them new. Rent them from Chegg or Amazon, or straight up pirate them from the internet. (I am a huge advocate for textbook piracy)

You can also see if your school has a textbook swap. You can try to start a textbook swap, or coordinate with friends about swapping books if you take the same classes at different times. Maybe talk to your RA about organizing one for your dorm floor/building.

Apple, HP, and Dell all have educational discount programs, if you need a computer with a little more oomph than a Chromebook or a ThinkPad. (I also highly recommend getting anything BUT a chromebook, but I know that's not always in the cards). DON'T get an Apple computer if you are a STEM major. It will cause more headaches than it's worth.

Take advantage of the bus pass your college tuition comes with. Go places. It's not as fast as an uber but it's a hell of a lot cheaper and you've already paid for it. Consider using this service instead of keeping a car on campus, too! Parking passes are also usually pricey.

Some regions have services like ZipCar where you can rent a car by the hour. Universities where this is available often have a deal to make it more accessible to students. (Use this when the bus isn't an option! It's usually also way cheaper than an Uber, and you can get different sized cars for different needs!)

If you get sick/hurt (of the non-emergent variety) badly enough to warrant a doctor visit: try visiting your campus health center first! Students usually get a free visit or two per semester/quarter.

Your student health center will often have free safe sex supplies. Sometimes they have the good stuff. They really don't care how often you come in and dig through the condom bowl. My campus had a monthly delivery service you could sign up for (for free). I've managed to get free condoms, lube, dental dams, and gloves this way. (This is a very cheap way to figure out what lube and condoms you like and hate, btw)

Don't say no to ANY of the free stuff. Take all the t-shirts, stickers, pens, mugs, markers, discount codes, reusable shopping bags, temporary tattoos, snacks, and cheap sunglasses they're willing to give you. Even if you won't use it yourself, it all makes excellent branded merchandise for the people in your life supporting you. You can even save on gifts during holidays by passing some of this stuff off to people who will use it. (I was given a free pair of sunglasses in my freshman year that I still use—7 years later—in situations where I don't want to lose/damage my better ones).

Smaller businesses close to campus will probably have a student discount. Ask. It'll probably be less than 20% but take what you can get, because it adds up.

Often your college will have some amount of free software for you to use while you're a student. Typically Microsoft Office, but sometimes others. I've gotten access to Photoshop, ArcGIS, MATLAB, JMP Pro, and a few others this way. (Piracy is an option here, but it's more challenging because these things are more closely guarded.)

Sometimes at the end of the year, people moving out will just leave the furniture they don't want anymore outside. I don't recommend doing this, because someone has to clean it up but take advantage of it when it happens if you see something you want.

Steal food from the dining hall (if it's the buffet kind). Some places you have to be more sneaky about it, but some places you don't. My bestie used to straight up bring in two half-gallon jugs and fill one from the dining hall milk dispenser and the other with lemonade once a week or so and nobody ever stopped her or said anything. Generally dining halls are staffed by students that don't get paid enough to care that it's your fourth stop by the pizza station and you can't possibly have eaten that much pizza in the last thirty minutes. (Bring tupperware in your backpack. If they don't allow backpacks, napkins in a sweatshirt front pocket also work (transfer to tupperware once you get your bag back)

IF YOU QUALIFY FOR WORK STUDY: do it! The WS jobs generally pay better because half the wage comes from the government and half comes from the person who hired you (makes it easier to pay you more because they don't even have to budget for a minimum wage employee).

Activities:

Go to the activities put on by the dorms and various student groups. I promise you'll have more fun than you think, and they're usually free to very inexpensive. Get a free succulent. Make friendship bracelets and cute soap. Watch a free movie. Go on that kayak tour. See a sports game for a team you don't care about. This is an excellent way to supplement your work-life balance and you might make a friend.

Share streaming service passwords/costs with friends or roommates. If everyone in the friend group comes in with one, you can have the whole shebang for a fraction of the cost. Alternatively, split the cost of one or two that you rotate between every few months (in my experience, this works best seasonally: Autumn is Netflix and Hulu, Winter is HBO and Disney+ etc) Piracy is also an option here as well.

Try to make most of your fun beverages on your own at home. Limit the starbucks coffee or boba to once or twice a week. Take the $15-30/week you saved by not buying starbucks everyday and go to the movies or something. Save up for a camping trip with friends. Idk. I spend $12/every six weeks-ish on the costco-sized container of the coffee I like and that's roughly the same price as two medium lattes. I like having that money for other stuff.

If you have metered internet: do all your big downloads on the free campus network.

Support your on campus artists by going to shows, showings, exhibits, and galleries. They're often a very inexpensive way to see art.

Like reading for fun? Check out your local library. They have the books, but also movies and games. Some libraries have a Library of Things where you can borrow like. Baking pans or a lawn mower. The city library is guaranteed to be quieter than the university libraries, if that's your thing. You also probably won't have to trip a basketball player to beat them to the last available table during finals week.

If you're going on hikes that are less than 10 miles round trip, I'd argue that you really don't need much in the way of specialized equipment* (especially if you have cell service the whole time (for maps/GPS)), which makes it very inexpensive if you already have a couple water bottles, snacks, comfortable shoes, and a backpack. *See the great outdoors section for more recommendations

Live somewhere like Alaska? Like outside? Find someone who knows what they're doing and go foraging. It's very important you bring an expert the first few times ESPECIALLY if you live in an area where you could be ingesting poisonous mushrooms or berries. My roommate and I love going on berry picking hikes.

Like hiking but don't like hiking alone? Join an on-campus club OR a meet-up group. This is an excellent way to make friends (and find a few hiking buddies)

Regal movie theatre is the most expensive. If you have a different one in your area your tickets will likely be a few bucks cheaper. (we only have regal where I am and I am angry)

General shopping:

My personal philosophy is if I don't need it immediately, I don't buy it unless it's on sale.

Get a credit card or two with decent cashback rewards. DO NOT SPEND ANY MONEY YOU CANNOT IMMEDIATELY PAY OFF (this will avoid interest charges AND build your credit score, which will be important later on for things like renting an apartment, buying a car from a dealership, or buying a house). Use the card(s) for all your expenses. Cashback will add up pretty slowly, but it will add up. Discover It is pretty good for students and comes with a quarterly rotation of different things that get higher cash back. Apple Card has good cashback ONLY if you're using actual Apple Pay instead of the physical card (which is harder in less urban areas where cardreaders haven't been recently updated).

Make a throwaway email and sign up for stamp cards, loyalty programs, and rewards programs everywhere you shop (new email is so you don't have to be spammed with all the junk they send you but you can still access the coupons when you want them). Don't sign up for the ones with the credit cards unless they have good cashback (> 1-2%) for places that aren't their store. The Fred Meyer program slaps because it gives you gas discounts. I am currently paying less than $3.00/gallon (current cost in my area is ~$4.30/gallon). Fred Meyer is a Kroger brand, so if you don't have Freds but do have a different Kroger thing, see what they've got.

Check thrift/consignment stores and yard/garage/estate sales for things that you don't necessarily need to be in the nicest condition. Suitcases, dishes for that camping trip, a mat for outside your front door. Be really careful with soft furniture (it could be hosting bugs; if it's from a yard sale, ask the owner where it was stored before the sale. Items in the garage or a storage unit or outside should be extra scrutinized) and give everything you can a good wash/scrub down before letting it live in your house.

Estate sales are fantastic for furnishing an apartment. Usually an estate sale is done when (old) people die and the family wants help getting rid of the stuff they don't want for themselves. Currently, old people generally have very well made, solid wood furniture. It will go for much cheaper than it's actually worth if you buy it at an estate sale (rather than at an antique store). A lot of the time the furniture even matches. They'll also have things like vacuums, kitchen stuff, and maybe garage stuff.

TJ Maxx, Ross, and Homegoods (et cetra) are good for finding inexpensive clothes or home items.

Back to school sales are great for just about everything. Lots of big stuff like good furniture and electronics go on sale for things like labor/memorial day.

Don't buy a mattress just because it's the cheapest one. Buy one you actually like. Buy sheets and pillows you actually like. Having a good night's rest in a bed you are comfortable in is invaluable. It will make the rest of college way less bad I promise.

See if you can repair something before buying a new one. At best, you fix it. At worst, it continues to not work. I was gifted a pair of bose noise cancelling headphones that I use often enough that I've had to replace the foam over-ear pads 3 times and the aux cable once. This has cost me about $40 over 7 years instead of the ~$300 getting a new pair would cost. Replacement parts and patch kits are where it's at.

Some insurance companies give discounts for good grades. Take advantage of that.

Check Buy Nothing groups. I've never done this but I've heard good things.

Some car companies give a small discount to recent graduates who are buying a new car. (I did this, it was only $500.)

IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO!!!! Buy something that is going to last over something that is cheap. You will save money in the long run if you can pay the upfront cost.

IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO!!!! (and the space for storage of the larger package) Buy in bulk. Unit price is always cheaper and one large package is generally wrapped in less packaging than the same amount in many smaller packages (save the earth!)

Keep track of warranties and register products for them if necessary. If something breaks and it's still covered under the warranty, the company may be obligated to replace it (depends on how it broke). Shoot your shot! If you're really lucky, the warranty period will start over with the arrival of the replacement, and if the replacement breaks within the warranty period, it will also be eligible for replacement. (I've managed to take advantage of this on multiple occasions and have saved probably $600 this way.)

The Great Outdoors:

Need to buy seasonal equipment (like snow gear or swimsuits)? Wait until the end of the current season. Prices will drop as stores attempt to clear inventory for the upcoming season's stuff. Buy your kayak and bikini in October or November and your heavy winter jacket and ski goggles in March. Keep an eye out for the sales beginning in the weeks prior if you are a common size, as those will sell out first).

I really recommend getting an REI membership. It's a one-time cost ($30??) that opens up the used website, the garage sale, and extra bonuses like random coupons, member only sale prices, discounts on gear rental and classes, a wider window for returns/exchanges, and free US shipping (I live in Alaska and the free shipping makes this one of the best deals I can get). It will pay for itself probably within your first purchase.

Consider buying open box, but make sure all the parts are there.

Keep an eye on warranties and register products for them when necessary. Trust me, given how expensive outdoor stuff is, it's entirely worth it. Keep receipts, packing slips, and tags if you can as proof of purchase.

On campus clubs for your activity of choice. Make friends, get to go cool(er) places possibly for free/cheap.

Trying a new activity? Rent/borrow some gear to do it a few times before committing to purchasing your own. This will ensure you don't spend hundreds of dollars just to find you hate backpacking. REI has a good gear rental program and a plethora of classes, and your campus may have an outdoor equipment rental option. They may also have lessons or classes you can take about your new activity so you can learn to do it safely. I learned how to ice climb this way in March, and am going to take advantage of my current university's free gear rental and free ice climbing tower until I feel comfortable enough to go out into the wild and do it on my own.

Decided you like your new activity? Check these places (none of this is sponsored lmao I just like outside and have personal experience with all these sites):

Geartrade: Discounted new* and used gear in a variety of conditions. Definitely read all the fine print here. *Geartrade sells things sometimes that are brand new but had some packaging defect; these things are usually half off.

REI ReSupply: Used gear in a variety of conditions. Defects are detailed in product descriptions. Even things in excellent condition are usually at least half off the original price.

Sierra(dot)com: brand new stuff from well-known brands at a fraction of the price. It's usually past-season overstock, but it's all perfectly serviceable and the differences between this season and last season's gear is usually negligible. They have sales and clearance as well. Get what you want/need even cheaper if you have time to wait for it to be further discounted.

Costco sometimes has pretty good outdoor gear. I personally know that the bear spray here is NOT a good deal (it's a two-pack, but the can volume/spray-time is smaller than the two-pack at REI and they go for the same price) but their trekking poles are good and I really like their men's merino wool socks. I've heard from reputable sources that the costco snow-shoes suck. Definitely read reviews before committing here.

Facebook marketplace/craigslist: Both can be hit or miss. You'll usually have better luck for equipment that is used for activities that can be done locally (ie. you will probably not find an abundance of skis in desert Arizona) but that's not a hard rule. DEFINITELY read the fine print here, and ask to inspect the item before you hand over any money (people usually aren't weird about this and if they are you might be being scammed). I got a new dog last year and got everything for him for under $100 (two beds, two crates, bowls, harnesses, dog sized sleeping bag for camping, lick mats, the whole shebang)

I'm sure that other people have better advice regarding things like electronics, traveling, and activities that don't fall into the category of Wandering Into The Woods, but this is what I know!

#college #resources #infodump #college advice #yall im so sorry this is so long

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