#How to get an EIN Number

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Doing my RCA training for the post office today and it's just stupid people here. It's so painful. We're an hour off schedule because so many people couldn't do basic paperwork. They keep asking ridiculous questions (ie, when asked if they have a vehicle for the job, they reply yes. When asked if it's right hand drive, they ask, "Why would I need a right hand drive car to go to work in? I'm not in Japan."). Many of them showed up late and were scolded for it, and are bitching about being scolded for being late now that we're on break. One lady won't stop grunting and smells like bad pussy and I don't do repetitive sounds and bad smells (thanks, autism) and we're only an hour in. Only 7 hours to go. If there's a god, the pop-pop sounds from down the street was a gun and we'll be able to be done for the day.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Your car spies on you and rats you out to insurance companies

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me TOMORROW (Mar 13) in SAN FRANCISCO with ROBIN SLOAN, then Toronto, NYC, Anaheim, and more!

Another characteristically brilliant Kashmir Hill story for The New York Times reveals another characteristically terrible fact about modern life: your car secretly records fine-grained telemetry about your driving and sells it to data-brokers, who sell it to insurers, who use it as a pretext to gouge you on premiums:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/11/technology/carmakers-driver-tracking-insurance.html

Almost every car manufacturer does this: Hyundai, Nissan, Ford, Chrysler, etc etc:

https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2020/09/09/ford-state-farm-ford-metromile-honda-verisk-among-insurer-oem-telematics-connections/

This is true whether you own or lease the car, and it's separate from the "black box" your insurer might have offered to you in exchange for a discount on your premiums. In other words, even if you say no to the insurer's carrot – a surveillance-based discount – they've got a stick in reserve: buying your nonconsensually harvested data on the open market.

I've always hated that saying, "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product," the reason being that it posits decent treatment as a customer reward program, like the little ramekin warm nuts first class passengers get before takeoff. Companies don't treat you well when you pay them. Companies treat you well when they fear the consequences of treating you badly.

Take Apple. The company offers Ios users a one-tap opt-out from commercial surveillance, and more than 96% of users opted out. Presumably, the other 4% were either confused or on Facebook's payroll. Apple – and its army of cultists – insist that this proves that our world's woes can be traced to cheapskate "consumers" who expected to get something for nothing by using advertising-supported products.

But here's the kicker: right after Apple blocked all its rivals from spying on its customers, it began secretly spying on those customers! Apple has a rival surveillance ad network, and even if you opt out of commercial surveillance on your Iphone, Apple still secretly spies on you and uses the data to target you for ads:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Even if you're paying for the product, you're still the product – provided the company can get away with treating you as the product. Apple can absolutely get away with treating you as the product, because it lacks the historical constraints that prevented Apple – and other companies – from treating you as the product.

As I described in my McLuhan lecture on enshittification, tech firms can be constrained by four forces:

I. Competition

II. Regulation

III. Self-help

IV. Labor

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel

When companies have real competitors – when a sector is composed of dozens or hundreds of roughly evenly matched firms – they have to worry that a maltreated customer might move to a rival. 40 years of antitrust neglect means that corporations were able to buy their way to dominance with predatory mergers and pricing, producing today's inbred, Habsburg capitalism. Apple and Google are a mobile duopoly, Google is a search monopoly, etc. It's not just tech! Every sector looks like this:

https://www.openmarketsinstitute.org/learn/monopoly-by-the-numbers

Eliminating competition doesn't just deprive customers of alternatives, it also empowers corporations. Liberated from "wasteful competition," companies in concentrated industries can extract massive profits. Think of how both Apple and Google have "competitively" arrived at the same 30% app tax on app sales and transactions, a rate that's more than 1,000% higher than the transaction fees extracted by the (bloated, price-gouging) credit-card sector:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/07/curatorial-vig/#app-tax

But cartels' power goes beyond the size of their warchest. The real source of a cartel's power is the ease with which a small number of companies can arrive at – and stick to – a common lobbying position. That's where "regulatory capture" comes in: the mobile duopoly has an easier time of capturing its regulators because two companies have an easy time agreeing on how to spend their app-tax billions:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

Apple – and Google, and Facebook, and your car company – can violate your privacy because they aren't constrained regulation, just as Uber can violate its drivers' labor rights and Amazon can violate your consumer rights. The tech cartels have captured their regulators and convinced them that the law doesn't apply if it's being broken via an app:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/18/cursed-are-the-sausagemakers/#how-the-parties-get-to-yes

In other words, Apple can spy on you because it's allowed to spy on you. America's last consumer privacy law was passed in 1988, and it bans video-store clerks from leaking your VHS rental history. Congress has taken no action on consumer privacy since the Reagan years:

https://www.eff.org/tags/video-privacy-protection-act

But tech has some special enshittification-resistant characteristics. The most important of these is interoperability: the fact that computers are universal digital machines that can run any program. HP can design a printer that rejects third-party ink and charge $10,000/gallon for its own colored water, but someone else can write a program that lets you jailbreak your printer so that it accepts any ink cartridge:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Tech companies that contemplated enshittifying their products always had to watch over their shoulders for a rival that might offer a disenshittification tool and use that as a wedge between the company and its customers. If you make your website's ads 20% more obnoxious in anticipation of a 2% increase in gross margins, you have to consider the possibility that 40% of your users will google "how do I block ads?" Because the revenue from a user who blocks ads doesn't stay at 100% of the current levels – it drops to zero, forever (no user ever googles "how do I stop blocking ads?").

The majority of web users are running an ad-blocker:

https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/

Web operators made them an offer ("free website in exchange for unlimited surveillance and unfettered intrusions") and they made a counteroffer ("how about 'nah'?"):

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah

Here's the thing: reverse-engineering an app – or any other IP-encumbered technology – is a legal minefield. Just decompiling an app exposes you to felony prosecution: a five year sentence and a $500k fine for violating Section 1201 of the DMCA. But it's not just the DMCA – modern products are surrounded with high-tech tripwires that allow companies to invoke IP law to prevent competitors from augmenting, recongifuring or adapting their products. When a business says it has "IP," it means that it has arranged its legal affairs to allow it to invoke the power of the state to control its customers, critics and competitors:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

An "app" is just a web-page skinned in enough IP to make it a crime to add an ad-blocker to it. This is what Jay Freeman calls "felony contempt of business model" and it's everywhere. When companies don't have to worry about users deploying self-help measures to disenshittify their products, they are freed from the constraint that prevents them indulging the impulse to shift value from their customers to themselves.

Apple owes its existence to interoperability – its ability to clone Microsoft Office's file formats for Pages, Numbers and Keynote, which saved the company in the early 2000s – and ever since, it has devoted its existence to making sure no one ever does to Apple what Apple did to Microsoft:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/06/adversarial-interoperability-reviving-elegant-weapon-more-civilized-age-slay

Regulatory capture cuts both ways: it's not just about powerful corporations being free to flout the law, it's also about their ability to enlist the law to punish competitors that might constrain their plans for exploiting their workers, customers, suppliers or other stakeholders.

The final historical constraint on tech companies was their own workers. Tech has very low union-density, but that's in part because individual tech workers enjoyed so much bargaining power due to their scarcity. This is why their bosses pampered them with whimsical campuses filled with gourmet cafeterias, fancy gyms and free massages: it allowed tech companies to convince tech workers to work like government mules by flattering them that they were partners on a mission to bring the world to its digital future:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/10/the-proletarianization-of-tech-workers/

For tech bosses, this gambit worked well, but failed badly. On the one hand, they were able to get otherwise powerful workers to consent to being "extremely hardcore" by invoking Fobazi Ettarh's spirit of "vocational awe":

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

On the other hand, when you motivate your workers by appealing to their sense of mission, the downside is that they feel a sense of mission. That means that when you demand that a tech worker enshittifies something they missed their mother's funeral to deliver, they will experience a profound sense of moral injury and refuse, and that worker's bargaining power means that they can make it stick.

Or at least, it did. In this era of mass tech layoffs, when Google can fire 12,000 workers after a $80b stock buyback that would have paid their wages for the next 27 years, tech workers are learning that the answer to "I won't do this and you can't make me" is "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out" (AKA "sharpen your blades boys"):

https://techcrunch.com/2022/09/29/elon-musk-texts-discovery-twitter/

With competition, regulation, self-help and labor cleared away, tech firms – and firms that have wrapped their products around the pluripotently malleable core of digital tech, including automotive makers – are no longer constrained from enshittifying their products.

And that's why your car manufacturer has chosen to spy on you and sell your private information to data-brokers and anyone else who wants it. Not because you didn't pay for the product, so you're the product. It's because they can get away with it.

Cars are enshittified. The dozens of chips that auto makers have shoveled into their car design are only incidentally related to delivering a better product. The primary use for those chips is autoenshittification – access to legal strictures ("IP") that allows them to block modifications and repairs that would interfere with the unfettered abuse of their own customers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

The fact that it's a felony to reverse-engineer and modify a car's software opens the floodgates to all kinds of shitty scams. Remember when Bay Staters were voting on a ballot measure to impose right-to-repair obligations on automakers in Massachusetts? The only reason they needed to have the law intervene to make right-to-repair viable is that Big Car has figured out that if it encrypts its diagnostic messages, it can felonize third-party diagnosis of a car, because decrypting the messages violates the DMCA:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2013/11/drm-cars-will-drive-consumers-crazy

Big Car figured out that VIN locking – DRM for engine components and subassemblies – can felonize the production and the installation of third-party spare parts:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

The fact that you can't legally modify your car means that automakers can go back to their pre-2008 ways, when they transformed themselves into unregulated banks that incidentally manufactured the cars they sold subprime loans for. Subprime auto loans – over $1t worth! – absolutely relies on the fact that borrowers' cars can be remotely controlled by lenders. Miss a payment and your car's stereo turns itself on and blares threatening messages at top volume, which you can't turn off. Break the lease agreement that says you won't drive your car over the county line and it will immobilize itself. Try to change any of this software and you'll commit a felony under Section 1201 of the DMCA:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/02/innovation-unlocks-markets/#digital-arm-breakers

Tesla, naturally, has the most advanced anti-features. Long before BMW tried to rent you your seat-heater and Mercedes tried to sell you a monthly subscription to your accelerator pedal, Teslas were demon-haunted nightmare cars. Miss a Tesla payment and the car will immobilize itself and lock you out until the repo man arrives, then it will blare its horn and back itself out of its parking spot. If you "buy" the right to fully charge your car's battery or use the features it came with, you don't own them – they're repossessed when your car changes hands, meaning you get less money on the used market because your car's next owner has to buy these features all over again:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

And all this DRM allows your car maker to install spyware that you're not allowed to remove. They really tipped their hand on this when the R2R ballot measure was steaming towards an 80% victory, with wall-to-wall scare ads that revealed that your car collects so much information about you that allowing third parties to access it could lead to your murder (no, really!):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms

That's why your car spies on you. Because it can. Because the company that made it lacks constraint, be it market-based, legal, technological or its own workforce's ethics.

One common critique of my enshittification hypothesis is that this is "kind of sensible and normal" because "there’s something off in the consumer mindset that we’ve come to believe that the internet should provide us with amazing products, which bring us joy and happiness and we spend hours of the day on, and should ask nothing back in return":

https://freakonomics.com/podcast/how-to-have-great-conversations/

What this criticism misses is that this isn't the companies bargaining to shift some value from us to them. Enshittification happens when a company can seize all that value, without having to bargain, exploiting law and technology and market power over buyers and sellers to unilaterally alter the way the products and services we rely on work.

A company that doesn't have to fear competitors, regulators, jailbreaking or workers' refusal to enshittify its products doesn't have to bargain, it can take. It's the first lesson they teach you in the Darth Vader MBA: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure

Your car spying on you isn't down to your belief that your carmaker "should provide you with amazing products, which brings your joy and happiness you spend hours of the day on, and should ask nothing back in return." It's not because you didn't pay for the product, so now you're the product. It's because they can get away with it.

The consequences of this spying go much further than mere insurance premium hikes, too. Car telemetry sits at the top of the funnel that the unbelievably sleazy data broker industry uses to collect and sell our data. These are the same companies that sell the fact that you visited an abortion clinic to marketers, bounty hunters, advertisers, or vengeful family members pretending to be one of those:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/07/safegraph-spies-and-lies/#theres-no-i-in-uterus

Decades of pro-monopoly policy led to widespread regulatory capture. Corporate cartels use the monopoly profits they extract from us to pay for regulatory inaction, allowing them to extract more profits.

But when it comes to privacy, that period of unchecked corporate power might be coming to an end. The lack of privacy regulation is at the root of so many problems that a pro-privacy movement has an unstoppable constituency working in its favor.

At EFF, we call this "privacy first." Whether you're worried about grifters targeting vulnerable people with conspiracy theories, or teens being targeted with media that harms their mental health, or Americans being spied on by foreign governments, or cops using commercial surveillance data to round up protesters, or your car selling your data to insurance companies, passing that long-overdue privacy legislation would turn off the taps for the data powering all these harms:

https://www.eff.org/wp/privacy-first-better-way-address-online-harms

Traditional economics fails because it thinks about markets without thinking about power. Monopolies lead to more than market power: they produce regulatory capture, power over workers, and state capture, which felonizes competition through IP law. The story that our problems stem from the fact that we just don't spend enough money, or buy the wrong products, only makes sense if you willfully ignore the power that corporations exert over our lives. It's nice to think that you can shop your way out of a monopoly, because that's a lot easier than voting your way out of a monopoly, but no matter how many times you vote with your wallet, the cartels that control the market will always win:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/05/the-map-is-not-the-territory/#apor-locksmith

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/12/market-failure/#car-wars

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[cailinsblog]

A Sign of Fate | Nico hischer

Nico hischer x reader

So this one has some German in it

Masterlist

The buzz in the arena was palpable as fans eagerly gathered for warmups. Nico Hischier skated onto the ice, his eyes scanning the sea of faces and signs pressed against the glass. Some were typical: “Go Devils!” and “Marry Me, Nico!” But one sign stood out, written in bold German:

**"Nico, testet mich auf Deutsch, ob ich alles richtig sagen kann, dann bekomme ich einen Puck. Wenn du gewinnst, bekommst du 20 $."**

Nico grinned. He loved seeing fans embrace his native language, and this challenge intrigued him. As he looped around the ice, he made his way toward the girl holding the sign. She was bundled in a Devils hoodie, her cheeks flushed with excitement. Nico tapped his stick against the glass, catching her attention. Her eyes widened, and she started jumping up and down, her enthusiasm infectious.

He leaned in, his voice muffled slightly by the glass. “Du willst also auf Deutsch getestet werden?” His eyes sparkled with amusement.

The girl nodded eagerly. “Ja! Ich bin bereit.”

Nico chuckled, resting his stick on his shoulder as he thought of a quick question. “Okay, wie sagt man auf Deutsch: ‘I love watching hockey’?”

She didn’t miss a beat. “Ich liebe es, Eishockey zu schauen.”

Nico tilted his head, clearly impressed. “Nicht schlecht. Noch eine: Was bedeutet ‘Schlittschuhe’?”

She grinned, her confidence growing. “Skates!”

“Sehr gut!” Nico smiled, leaning in closer. “Aber weißt du was? Statt einem Puck… wie wäre es mit meiner Nummer und meinem Schläger?”

Her jaw dropped, and her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of pink. “Wirklich?” she whispered, her voice full of disbelief.

“Wirklich,” Nico replied with a wink before skating off to finish warmups.

---

Throughout the game, Y/N’s heart raced every time Nico was on the ice. He was playing with a fire she hadn’t seen before, skating hard, passing sharply, and even getting an assist. When the final buzzer sounded, the Devils had secured a hard-fought win.

True to his word, Nico skated over to the bench, grabbed his stick, and wrote his number on the shaft with a bold Sharpie. With a sly smile, he tossed it over the glass right to her. The crowd around Y/N erupted in cheers and laughter as she caught it, her hands trembling slightly.

On the stick was written: **“Ruf mich an, Y/N 😉 - Nico”**

She laughed, holding the stick close. “Danke, Nico!” she yelled, her voice carrying over the noise.

He shot her a quick salute before disappearing down the tunnel.

---

Later that evening, Y/N sat in her apartment, the game stick resting against the wall. Her phone buzzed beside her; she had debated for hours whether to text him. Finally, she typed out a message in German.

**Y/N:** *Hallo Nico, hier ist Y/N. Vielen Dank für den Schläger und die unglaubliche Nacht!*

His reply came almost immediately.

**Nico:** *Hallo Y/N! Es war mir eine Freude. Hast du deine 20 Dollar schon gezahlt? 😜*

**Y/N:** *Noch nicht, aber du hast sie verdient! Vielleicht überreiche ich sie dir persönlich?*

**Nico:** *Klingt gut. Was hältst du von einem Kaffee morgen? Wir können weiter auf Deutsch üben.*

Her heart skipped a beat. **Y/N:** *Ich bin dabei. Wo und wann?*

Nico sent the details, and the next morning, they met at a cozy café downtown. He was already waiting, his Devils cap pulled low, but his smile lit up when she walked in.

“Hallo,” he said, standing to greet her. “Bereit für die nächste Deutschstunde?”

Y/N laughed, sliding into the seat across from him. “Nur wenn du bereit bist, mir alles über Eishockey beizubringen.”

Over the next few hours, they talked and laughed, switching effortlessly between German and English. Nico shared stories from his hockey career, and Y/N told him about her love for languages and how she had started learning German as a hobby. The connection was immediate and electric.

By the end of the morning, Nico hesitated before speaking. “Weißt du, Y/N, ich habe nicht nur den Schläger gestern Abend geworfen, weil ich mein Versprechen halten wollte. Ich wollte sicherstellen, dass ich dich wiedersehe.”

Her smile was soft and genuine. “Und ich bin froh, dass du es getan hast.”

From that day forward, their bond grew stronger with every text, every call, and every shared moment. Nico was no longer just her favorite player—he became her favorite person. And it all started with a sign, a challenge, and a little bit of German.

⚠️send in request and reblog⚠️

[insert-username-here566]

I need aphmau and aaron hating each other throughout all of her high-school years and her calling him.

Aph: "HEY. Jerk. I need help."

Aar: "how'd you get my number? Who is this?"

Aph: "shut up you know who it is. Ein threatened me. He hurt a friend of mine."

Aar: "this is my problem how?"

Aph: "I'm not good with this werewolf stuff! Can you kick his butt or what?"

Aaron, to himself. 'My dad is going to kill me': "fine. But you owe me, stupid potato."

Aph: "HEY!-

Aaron hangs up phone.

Idk I feel like I like this dynamic better. Frienemies. They can be friends in college but not in high-school. Let them hate each other.

[derschleierfallt]

my elisabeth song ranking

ok guys. i’ve been thinking abt doing smth like this FOREVER and i wanna go at least kinda in depth so very long post ahead.

this ranking is based only off of the original vienna/essen revival prods unless otherwise mentioned, and im also only ranking songs that appear in those versions. ranking is based on music, the scenes in action, and how much it just works for me in general :) ok time to type

40. schon euch alle zu sehn

- like. whatever. it just doesn’t do much for me and is like a little buffer between two good numbers before it and the ones afterwards. not much to say abt it!

39. jedem gibt er das seine

- meh. this song and the number itself are a bit of a bore to me. i like how it sets up franz and sophie’s relationship, but the song itself is pretty repetitive and i just don’t really listen to it much. however, i LOVE the set design and blocking. tod and the todesengels looming in the back and taking the pleading mother away… it’s great! but otherwise it’s the same as the previous ranking to me, a buffer

38. wir oder sie

- i’ve come to appreciate this one a liiitttle more, but unfortunately it falls into the same category as the others before it. i do find the little horsies very amusing though! and if the sophie is good then im much more amused as well

37. bellaria

- i think the song itself sounds very nice, and it’s not so long that it overstays its welcome, but… eh? in essen, where other numbers i enjoy more are cut for no reason (ELJEN) i just miss it when i get to these less than 2 minute additions to the score. i like that it humanizes sophie, but im not as compelled by her, and these additional historical context numbers added in essen that don’t have anything to do with elisabeth are a bit iffy for me. does this accomplish more for the story of elisabeth herself than the line in die rastlosen jahre about sophie’s death? im not sure. it’s just not particularly memorable to me either way

36. hass

- so, i do appreciate this number, and i guess to an extent you could say i like it for what it does in the narrative. however, it’s very uncomfortable to both listen and watch, so i can’t really rank it much higher. it definitely succeeds at what it aims to do—make you uncomfortable—but yeah. can’t say it’s enjoyable

35. irrenhaus / nichts nichts gar nichts (vienna, 92-94)

- i did not understand the insane asylum disco instrumental break for a LONG TIME. and by a long time i mean until about 3 days ago, and even then im still a littttlleeeee perplexed? it sticks out like a sore thumb musically, which i suppose could be the point, but i definitely can see why this song was phased out so soon. i like the shorter version of nichts, there’s less time to convey the emotions needed than the current version, so i like the intensity of it. piasisi is MAD AS FUCK!

34. eine kaiserin muss glanzen

- from this point on these are all numbers i ENJOY but… someone must come last in the ranking. to be fair, this comes right after der letzte tanz, so a very high bar is set. it’s a little unfair. i like the emotional rollercoaster this one is, it also makes me feel like im being picked and pulled apart just like elisabeth! can’t say i enjoy that but its ok. and that one note in essen… that pia sings… elevates the fuck out of this… pia essen vocals can save anything

33. mein neues sortiment

- it’s mini kitsch sandwiched in between two songs that murder ur heart… i need lucheni to LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE so i can mourn. i like the lyrics here though… and in the vienna 05 proshot when he and tod just look at each other as the song starts…. ooooohh that’s cinema right there let me tell you!

32. schonheitspflege

- the only thing i really enjoy abt this one over eine kaiserin muss glanzen is the ladies in waiting in the chorus. looooveeee how they sound

31. sie passt nicht

- important distinction: this DOES NOT include the intro to der letzte tanz. im not sure if its technically part of sie passt nicht, but im deciding its not. i love the choreography for this! and the spinning mirrors! it’s a great little number

30. die frohliche apokalypse

- don’t have much to say about this one? i like it, it does a good job at telling us the events of the past few years, but i just like other numbers more. the bumper cars are soooo fun

29. die ersten vier jahre

- i love what they do with the stage and the blocking! i love the projector framing device, these little moments of time in action. i particularly love how they do it in the 2012 korean production, where it’s a puppet show manned by lucheni with the picture book cutouts. otherwise i feel the same about it as apokalypse, i just prefer this over the bumper cars and the cafe a liiiittle more

28. mama, wo bist du?

- idk if this is maybe a criminally low ranking to some but to be very clear… my only gripe with this number is just that i don’t really like listening to kids singing 😭 which isn’t a knock on any of the talented kids who play rudolf, i just skip this track. it’s EXCELLENT in terms of narrative and i absolutely adore the parallels to die schatten, but alas, i do not listen to this one often, so i don’t wanna rank it much higher. it also makes me very sad

27. nur kein genieren

- these beautiful bright colorful lights… im entranced. perhaps i should’ve ranked this one a bit higher, but the audio i listened to for this ranking didn’t do much in favor of this song. i dunno who the performers were, but i found it a bit obnoxious and over the top (more than necessary), so maybe that soured the ranking a bit

26. “the conspiracy”

- im not sure what this one is actually called? its the song immediately after die schatten reprise in essen. its another one of those ones where im not really sure if it adds much to the story in the grand scheme of things, but this one works more for me than bellaria because rudolfs struggles are a little more closely intertwined with elisabeth. and i also like him more. i LOVE this scene, i especially love the end where franz finds him out. the rage is SO good (shoutout to andre bauer and michael shawn lewis…). i also think tod sounds hawt as hell during his part. ANYWAYS

25. so wie man plant und denkt

- this one is so fun! i love the family drama, it’s super catchy, and there’s a good bit of humor which is nice. not a fan of franz’s metaphors for elisabeth, but at least there isn’t any relating of sex to ships in harbors here

24. die schatten werden langer (act 1)

- bitch…. sorry this is another one that has tod sounding sexy privilege. which is maybe fucked up because he just killed a kid but i have to be honest with y’all. real talk though this one hurts me! i love it for that! it’s so short but they fit in so much despair… it’s impressive. this is one of those songs where it doesn’t work for me so much if the tod and sisi actors are kinda lacking, especially sisi, but i am pretty loyal to pia boots so this one usually works. the NEEEEEIIIIINNNNN is so chilling seriously. the sobbing afterwards… dhmu. shaking her head and breaking down while tod tells her she loves him, needs him, and will only bring ruin? guys. guys.

23. milch

- OKKAAAYY PUMP IT UP! this one has another sort of privilege, which is serkan lucheni privilege. unfortunately, i did not listen to serkan lucheni for this song, so maybe a lower ranking than if he had. however, the stars of this song is def the ensemble for me, so it doesn’t suck too bad if the lucheni isn’t as great. i like the simplicity of it, like the peasantry isn’t even afforded a little bit of set dressing. very powerful!

22. kitsch

- SUPERB opening number for act 2, especially considering how much act 2 sends me into an emotional breakdown. yes it’s all kitsch… kitsch…. kiiiiitttssschhh…..!!!! so here is a bunch of shit that’s gonna make u HURT. thanks. the audience interaction is really cool and i would kill for literally anything that lucheni throws into the audience… which is perhaps kitschy of me… dang! give me a shitty elisabeth plate idgaf! But I Also Understand The Message Of This Song And I Appreciate It And Also Find It Very Important And Interesting.

21. die rastlosen jahre

- this one just feels sooooo…… like… idk like THIS is the point in the musical where im like okay everything is about to get soooo much worse. it’s hard to explain what i love so much about the song itself, but it has a very specific mood that i just totally love. the is she still young/is she still beautiful question is one of my favorite lines in the musical as well

20. wie du

- oooohhhh… happy sisi 😭😭😭😭😭 it’s a cute song, and i like the back and forth between sisi and the governess at the end. very cheeky and adorbs. interestingly, this song sounds so much more somber in the 92 cast recording, even compared to the 92 performances. i really like that take on the song, to me it highlights her wanting and her frustrations a bit more. regardless of the tone, i like this one a lot! i also wish i could balance on a tightrope or play in the meadow or climb a tree. I Understand

19. nichts nichts gar nichts

- song is great, but like some others, this one REALLY hinges on how good the performance is from elisabeth. if the emotional weight is lacking, it can turn into a bit of a bore, considering that there isn’t much else going on to carry the number. when it’s good though, it’s really good

18. die maladie

- oh my GOD. the DRAMA. i just love love love love it. when the elisabeth and tod are locked in… oh my god. any song where there’s a power struggle between them… you best believe i’m watching very closely. similar to die rastlosen jahre, it has a very specific tone that i can’t quite describe, but it works so well. the only way i can really describe it is like… it’s kind of noir? in the beginning? if you know what i mean? and just so like…. creepy. like tod is a little freak bitch. i hate him. i love it

17. boote in der nacht

- beautiful song beautiful number. so simple yet effective, never truly crossing paths, just floating on by each other. perfect really!

16. nichts ist schwer

- honestly, you can switch boote in der nacht and this song in terms of ranking and itd be fine and still true. i don’t know which one i like more, and its a reeeeaallly close race, i just like this one more at the moment. i end up listening to it more, and the number is absolutely gorgeous in vienna. i love the synths more than anything, and sisi’s costume definitely bumps it up a bit LOL

15. totenklage

- DEPRWSSIGN AS FUCK…. I CANT….!!! i don’t think i like this one musically as much as some of the songs ranked before it, but it hits me so hard emotionally and i love the staging. when tod appears and he’s just out of reach and barely even looks at her… ugh im in pain. and shoutout to maté for some of his Acting Moments in this too. unfortunately cannot attach a gif without fucking up the list but trust me on this

14. schwarzer prinz

- there really isn’t much going on in this number but that’s alright. the song is gorgeous (i’ve yet to post the clip, i technically have posted it before in the essen proshot compilation, but jesus the orchestra sounds great), and i love tod silently listening to and mirroring sisi. it opens up a lot of interpretations… is he truly just a reflection, is he just doing what she wants to see, or does he really understand? i love the complexity of their relationship so much, and this song is so vital to it

13. eljen

- one of essen’s greatest crimes, as mentioned, is removing this song. i don’t want every entry in here to get all repetitive with I LOVE IT over and over, but yeah. i absolutely love and adore this song and every one after that, so i will try to hold off on mentioning it from here on. highlight for me is tod on top of the carriage, laughing maniacally as the celebration concludes. soooo foreboding… incredible shit tbh. and that skeleton suit? ALSO INCREDIBLE! i highly recommend you all find as many different videos as you can of serkan singing this song and trying to match the trumpet(?)’s note at the end. you will not be disappointed!

12. ich will dir nur sagen

- CHILLS every time the portrait is revealed, whether or not the audience goes crazy. it’s such an iconic moment i really cannot rank it any lower. and i do love me an ich gehor nur mir reprise/callback (more on that later….🤭)

11. ich gehor nur mir

- to me, this is THE song that matters the most for elisabeth acting. it’s the bridge between the ‘before’ sisi and the one we begin to see forming for the rest of the musical, and you really have to nail it so it doesn’t just come out of nowhere. i hateeee when sisi just magically grows up in ich will dir nur sagen… cut that out! anyways… perfect ‘i want’ song. not to get all freaky on y’all but i Deeply feel these lyrics too 😭😭 it hits 😭😭😭😭 and another case of the simplicity just being so perfect! she’s alone and isolated and afraid, but then again, she’s here with herself, with nobody else to see or judge. She belongs to herself for real….

10. elisabeth, mach auf mein engel

- we’re in the big leagues now. is this insane? i don’t know. the drama songs in elisabeth just really really work for me, and the set design is beautiful here. of course though, the highlight of this one to me is tod’s part and afterwards. his words are so obviously manipulative and falsely secure, but the vulnerability she’s feeling is so easy to take advantage of that the song ends up sounding so romantic. it’s a gorgeous piece of music and an great scene of the two of them, and it makes her defiance so much BETTER. the specifics of why i love it really depend on the actors so that’s a bigger discussion for another time (coughcoughPIASISIUWETODcoughcough)

9. wie du (reprise)

- 😢 tragic. TRAGIC. UGH. i think i went over it pretty well already in the tags of that poll abt wenn ich dein spiegel war so im just gonna be treading old ground again. the eternal struggle elisabeth faces is portrayed so well here, she’s trapped by her own ideas. maybe a victim of circumstance as well, but ultimately, her conversation with her father is all deflections until the end, where she once again resigns to the fact that she’s alone. despite this realization, she continues to shut out others… The evil fucked up reprise of happy song ever. and another addition to the Unfortunately I Relate pile

8. alle fragen sind gestellt

- i think… in terms of vibes… and that sort of thing… this is my fav number? like OMG i just love that bright red carpet projected onto the screen that cuts this super bright light through the stage. the song is obviously gorgeous as well but i love the visuals. and i love the fuck out of an ominous bell toll. the ensemble stumbling away from elisabeth while tod rings the bells and the lights go dim is one of my favorite visual moments by far

7. prolog

- insane opening number to be honest. when i first got into elisabeth i’d seen some clips of a few songs without subtitles, so i was pretty lost. i could gather some info from the comments but it was not nearly enough. this song got me HOOKED instantly. i can’t imagine hearing and seeing this and not being hooked? very big fan of the ensemble in this btw. the choreography is sooo freaky and those torn veils draped over them is MAGNIFICENT! and DO NOT get me fucking started on tod’s sparkly skull jacket

6. am deck der sinkenden welt

- soooo… i mentioned before how much i love the drama songs in elisabeth. this is peak drama song. i love the funky shit the stage does in the vienna version. whole number is completely overwhelming in the best way possible. like, holy cow, this is the breaking point… strap the fuck in! the back-and-forth between franz and tod is my fav thing ever. SIE GEHORT MIR! sie liebt MICH🙅🙅🙅!!! liek okay. beautiful. elisabeth and lucheni locking eyes and just STOPPING is a highly underrated moment as well

5. wenn ich dein spiegel war / mayerling

- technically i guess these are two separate numbers, but personally i cannot separate them from each other for the maximum emotional damage. also, it’s kind of hard to rank a 60 second instrumental among everything else? so this felt fair. it’s hard to truly articulate how this song makes me feel, so to put it bluntly (AND NOT SERIOSULY THIS ISNT SERIOUS) this song makes me want to KMS. it rips my heart apart. this is another one where i can’t fully talk about it without going into specifics and also without going on insane heartbroken ramblings, so again, that’s for another time. there’s this shot they go with like three times in the og 1992 vienna proshots, where elisabeth and rudolf’s reflections in the mirror come apart and distance themselves until they’re both out of frame and… yeah, that about sums it up. mayerling is a beautiful continuation of this. it’s even more desperate, and it’s so frantic, and this isn’t even me just being todolfpilled but that kiss fr makes it. insane laughing, tod just diving right in for the kiss without a moment to waste, or just extra desperation added on top of what’s already there… Yeah. duck smoking gif. give it all to me

4. der letzte tanz

- let me tell you all a story. gather around… for it will be told for many generations… by me… 🙂 i was browsing musical videos on youtube as i do every so often, and what do i spy in my recommended? 1992 der letzte tanz clip. do i know what the hell it is…..??? NO! but do i see beautiful uwe in the thumbnail and am i VERY intrigued??? YES YES YE AYEA TES YEA YES YES YES YES YES YES YEA YE SYES YES YE SYES🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 so i watch it and i have no idea what the fuck just happened but i LOVE IT. a few days later i watch elisabeth for the first time… and then it’s all over for me. that aside, i love this song so much! the last we hear from tod before this song is the prolog, that he loved her. so the whiplash between that and him being so cruel to her in der letzte tanz is…. GENIUS dare i say! there is no love to be found in his words! maybe this is his idea of love, its obsessive and unrelenting, but…. is it love? UGH and the ensemble kicking in at the end… uggghhhhhh😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😋😋😋😋😚😚😚😚😚

3. wenn ich tanzen will

- a few things i’ve mentioned previously: i love a power struggle, and i don’t know if i love some essen additions. this is another one where i think ultimately it doesn’t add a lot to the narrative, rather just reenforces what we hear in eljen, but i can’t complain about this song. i simply cannot. the blocking in the essen version is exactly what i need from elisabeth and tod. they’re equals, they’re inseparable, and it’s horrible, because neither of them can really win now. elisabeth can shut him out, but he will always be inevitable. tod can try as much as he wants, but she cannot be swayed. IIIII LOOOOVEEEE ITTTTTT!!!!!! ONE MILLION LINES OF WENN ICH TANZEN WILL COCAINE PLEASE!!!!!!! the power of puwe chemistry

2. die schatten werden langer (act 2)

- gosh. oh gosh. ohhhh golly gosh. do not get me started. i have many thoughts about this song but its kind of weird. i cant verbalize it necessarily. for my eternally ongoing elisabeth animation project (that will hopefully be put to digital paper one day) i have very specific ideas that are very connected to my thoughts here. so you’ll have to wait like 10 years for the full take. the harsh lighting of the 92 prod has never been better than in this song. absolutely gorgeous scene and PERFECT music. MORE SYNTHS PLEASE MR LEVAY!!! ALL THE SYNTHS!

1. der schleier fallt

- who’s surprised raise ur hand…. nobody is surprised ohhhh darn it. this song is Me. like my online identity is this song. i am not ashamed of how much this is my shit. changed my fucking life not even joking that much. i hesitate to call it bittersweet but… that’s sorta how i feel? like, ultimately, it’s not a good ending, she’s dead and i think there’s some sort of implication that she’s immortalized as the young version of herself that’s everywhere in pop culture. but at the same time, there is some semblance of peace, or at least comfort. the fight between them has been forcibly put to an end, so what else is left? once again… i love the complexity of their relationship. and it is very close to my heart and my being lowkey. is that cringe?!?! IDK this is my tumblr and i make the rules and the rules are that i have to think abt this song at least twice per day. per hour maybe? UGGGHHH FUCKKKK I LOVE THIS SONG I LOVE THIS MUSICAL UHGGGGHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 best song ever. best username ever

the end. would maybe switch some rankings around in hindsight but i’ve spent way too fucking long on this. i got sick for a few hours so that allowed me some time to think about this. and i Thought hard.

[cowboylikeyouu]

Your coldmirror statement is a mood. Like what do you mean I can't talk with my mutuals about fresh d and how Hermione is a raging lesbian and that everyone roasts hagrid

THIS!!!!

wdym you’ve never heard of harry potter und ein stein??

wdym you’ve never experienced the joy of getting the notification for a new harry podcast episode after waiting for a fucking year??

wdym you’ve never listened to her harry potter audio books and never had the pleasure of hearing the draco und die malfoys intro???

wdym i can’t talk to you about star star space???

wdym you won’t get it when i say my favorite loki quote is "sweet, ein BAUSPARVERTRAG" ???

no woods hyper dyper shop? no soup soup soup? no EYY YO ICH BIN FRESH DUMBLEDORE?? no "CYRILL hier fehlen noch ein paar spinnweben"?? no japanoschlampen?? no "hör ich mich, hört ihr mich, wir hören uns alle gegenseitig"??? no kack produktbeschreibungen??? no harry potter mit satzvervollständigungsroboter????

being able to watch coldmirror content is the number 1 reason why people should learn german istg, she’s the best

[r1nnyhuhh]

my take on ein in waf!!! :3

Uhm warning yapper alert… and also!!: Contains when angels fall spoiler ig..:

(Also I am NOT defending this hoe.)

he was a freak, I hate to say it I do how am I going to look at this twink and say “oh yeah that’s my favorite character like… ever!!” When he’s over here saying “you’re going to be my little DOG.” NO?? Honestly I think it was a shocker to see, especially considering his personality and like ‘character development’ (which atp is nothing but 📉📉) why would he say this to a werewolf, I mean especially since he thing they’re the ‘superior species’?? Well have you ever heard of this fun thing called repeating things you’ve heard, or imprinting off someone?

well guess what you guys… that’s probably what was going on!! We’ve seen how Micheal degrades and belittles people. Also. Uhm I know it’s not just me (cause oomf agrees) ein sounds similar to Micheal in some scenes. His voice over all being scratchy (because of a matter of reasons.) but not only was Ein under the forever potion in a way in waf (I have a big fat theory on this too.) he just acted so different I think, in es he was so scattered if I’m being perfectly honest, from fear of failure if I’m being so real rn.(oh my god I need to yap about my thoughts on that too…..) But in s6 he’s so calm because he thinks he’s Micheal’s number one when really he’s only a simple pawn atp? Micheal lied to him multiple times clearly, and also uhm Ein’s under the effects of the forever potion in s6!! Uhm cute… cute…

Ein is first shown in s6 sneaking around and then walking up to werewolves approaching them with a big fat smile on his face saying he means well. Then giving them the dumb forever potion not long after clearly, setting the whole plan in motion for Micheal’s old ugly ass!! Or the demon warlock or wtv. He captures aphmau again, blah blah blah… getting his ears back!(why did he gen not have a reaction though it’s supposed to be painful??) shooting aph with a green laser beam? Cool party trick ig. Then going to fight Aaron, and then died! Uhm quick thing I anodized looking at his corpse, um the corners of his eyes are squinted implying that he’s smiling, he is also looking out at the stars. Rest in peace taken literally his expression is a little calm judging he got his throat torn out!… but yeah! This season was over all just… awful for his char? I think they just made him really shitty to make people hate him EVEN MORE? Which pmo tbh. But wtv! I hope he gets mentioned or we see him at least in s7!! (Ein mys save me…)

um idk really know if this is a take on his character I just wanted to talk about him in s6 tbh </3 HE MAKES ME HURT IN WAYS I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD. I hate him sm but oh?? He did genuinely deserve better :^

[storkmuffin]

if i may "schwurbel" a little, as we say in german when we talk confidently about something we have absolutely no idea about, Yunho to me feels like someone who doesnt fully know or is comfortable with who he is or wants to be (hence the absorbtion of Yeosangs Geisha Persona, maybe?), and so he almost desperately tries to be the best Idol he can be because he's scared of not being liked otherwise. Kind of like what Mingi said in his early years, of overcompensating in his strengths on stage and comedic relief characterness because he feels like thats the inly thing he can bring to the table but this is not about him. not saying thats whats happening, but if i had to write him as a character, thats what i would go off of. TO ME, PERSONALLY, he reads like a very tragic character. but maybe that's all the crying gifs you've been reposting.

he puts so much effort into his idol persona and maintains it in such a strict way it kind of looks uncomfortable. maybe that's self protection from being perceived intimately by millions of people, which would be a smart thing to do in his profession, but in contrast to the other members, it feels so much harsher.

Like you said, he has this immense need to be liked and he goes about it with such focus it makes me wonder what he's "hiding". he's said himself there are parts of him that are too 'dark' to show atiny (and I cannot tell you enough how 👁👃👁 that makes me) but with what we've seen of the others that extreme caution seems kind of unnecessary? we've seen in seonghwas lego dungeon, they can literally torture someone to the brink of insanity (haha "SAN"ity), and we will gobble that shit up so honestly Yunho baby, how much worse can you get? BRING IT ON BIG BOY [excuse the shouting and lengthy message, i have been drinking with my brothers]

I have found a new favorite word: Schwurbel. I looked it up and the infinitive is schwurbeln and a person who does the schwurbel-ing (frankensteining languages is my favorite thing, vergeben Sie mir) is a Schwurbler. So like what's happening on my blog is Eine Schwurblerin schwurbelt hier? Is this right?

ANYWAYS.

That is so fascinating that Yunho looks tragic to you! This makes him so much more interesting than I think he actually is. LOL.

The role of what an Idol is supposed to be is kind of pre-set, in a lot of ways. I don't really know Idols and didn't know what was going on in the side content (or that there was so much of it) before getting into Stray Kids, but even I knew what was and wasn't allowed. This is what San is talking about when he tells of all members with Sir, You are an Idol.

Also, in the time since Yunho has been an Idol, a number of very terrifying things have happened in the industry he is a part of. Burning Sun, the suicides of a number of very successful Idols, both men and women, the normalization of sending funeral wreaths when The Fandom is displeased with an Idol, and the capitulation of SM to the Fandom pressure to eject that one kid from Riize. He himself had a very adverse hostile reaction from Atiny when he was rumored to have a girlfriend he was openly dating. There's also been an explosion of Idol groups as a business while at the same time the footprint of any particular Idol group, especially a male one, shrank dramatically within Korea. So it is worth it to Yunho to be very careful and deliberate on how he proceeds, especially because the absolutely intense amount of success the group has enjoyed abroad, where they are massively famous, seems to delight him very much.

Since we're schwurbeling (heh) here, I will say - if what Yunho is doing looks uncomfortable for him, you might just be less of a rigidly perfectionist and controlling person than he is. He's actually, mostly and usually, having a good time, from what I can tell. It's not uncomfortable to control yourself if you like controlling things. Does that make sense? I like driving myself to a corner. I like the exhaustion that comes from trying to meet the impossible. I'M TOTALLY NORMAL OKAY?

I don't think Yunho wants necessarily to have a genuine connection with the audience, with his real core self connecting with others. I think that's why the perverts Hottoks enjoy are invested in the Yunho crying content - the connection was made in spite of him. And this is the contradictory (and maybe possibly creepy? and if so, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you about this) thing about very controlling people with strong goal orientation and aggressive drive: We like it when other controlling people's Towers of Babel collapse. We're much more interested in the tender flesh that shows through the prism of the broken armor than someone who's just sitting out there shirtless. I am going to stop typing now because I've already said too much.

Oh one more thing though. He enjoys crying. He knows what he looks like. He deliberately doesn't wipe his tears once he's cried, if he is certain the make up with hold up. He's doing it on purpose.

[unhinged-diaries]

Business Guide:

How to get started

When you have a business name in mind look up the domain name to see if it’s taken. You don’t want to spend money on an LLC just to find out that your name is taken. Thats a waste of money because you also have to pay to dissolve it.

If the name is not taken, great, don’t file an LLC yet. Go online and get a virtual business address. Why? If you’re running your business out of your home like I am, just know that it’s public information if you use your address to file your LLC. A virtual address should cost like $10-$20 a month. Use that to file your LLC.

Once you’ve filed that LLC get your Ein. That’s your Employee Identification Number. It’s your businesses tax id. It’s free to file on the IRS website. Don’t fall for the scam websites you guys.

Once you’ve gotten your EIN go to Google domains and get your website name aswell as 3-4 emails. An email for your social media accounts, an executive email for yourself, an ecomm@businessname.com for things like your business bank account, Shopify account, etc; and maybe a customer support email. I use the social email as a customer support email. All of this should be like $50/month.

Once you’ve don’t that get on Canva and make that logo bookie. Personally I paid someone on Fiverr to make mine because I’m a “soft business life” kind of girl and I’d rather pay the professionals. Thats just me though.

Once you’ve got your logo go ahead and get them social media accounts going. Instagram, tiktok, Facebook.

Alright now this is where it gets specific to clothing brands because that’s what I own.

Time to find a manufacturer. Head over to alibaba and search what kind of product you want to sell. Be sure to add “oem” if you want a manufacturer that customizes. Look for the amount of orders they’ve gotten on that product. If it says zero orders that’s ok. Some styles are new and thus haven’t been ordered yet. Check any reviews they have for other products. Also check the total revenue they’ve done. It’s on the store profile. I can’t tell you what the sweet spot is yet bc I’ve only used one manufacturer so far but I’d look for mid six figures and up if you wanna be real safe.

Chat with them and order a sample. Even if you buy from a vendor list you’ll need your own sample to make content with. I suggest buying one and first. It’s worth the wait because if you buy multiple and end up not liking them you’d have wasted money that could’ve gone into testing a different manufacturer.

Do not launch with more than 2 products. Even 2 is a stretch, wallai start with one.

This is because if you’re doing the preorder, which I suggest, you’ll be depending on customer orders to pay for the bulk order. Manufacturers do their moq by color or style. If you have too many options in your website and customers order a mix of things, you better pray you have enough money to cover the bulk for all those different styles. Stay safe and give them 1-2 options to choose from.

Pre order method is great if you don’t have a lot of cash to start with because the orders pay for themselves. Bulk orders start to wrack up. Especially if it’s a custom style or material. You don’t want to break the bank for something that might not sell.

Once you’ve gotten and approved your samples choose a launch date. 2-3 weeks before that launch dates post consistently. At least once a day but remember quality over quantity. Now don’t be tricked. Quality doesn’t mean a full cinematography. It means connecting with your audience and relating with them to a point where they’re like “this business gets it”. Either that or attaching yourself to an identity they want to have. “It girl ig influencer”, “feminine soft life babe” “clean girl Pilates princess” whatever the fuck it is embody ur as best as you can. When customers attach your product with an identity that is aspirational to them they will buy it without rationalizing. It’s why the luxury market makes so much off of ppl who can’t afford to buy it twice.

Focus on the backend

If you have a goal of getting an influx of orders and making a lot of sales, be sure that your business is structured in a way that can handle it happening at any given time. You know those tiktok businesses that get one viral video and sell out over night? That could be you but if you’re not prepared ppl are going to be upset. I suggest working backwards:

A customer service platform/inbox so that you can answer them right away with frequently asked questions.

Have stock so that you have something for customers to buy once they finally land on your website.

Have a well presenting website so that ppl don’t think you’re a scam. I’m going to do a post on this bc some of these business websites drive me fuckin nuts. Color theory ppl, color theory.

A social media page with some kind of social proof ie reviews from customers in some way shape or form. Ppl are going to be looking for what others have to say about your brand. Hire UGC creators to make videos that you can post on your page. They’re cheaper than influencers but still know how to convey the message well. You’ll have to have extra samples and items on hand to send them. Also check out their usage rights. Some will allow you to use their videos in ads but you have to pay extra and it’s only for a certain amount of time. But if they do it right, you’ll get a great return. Scared money don’t make no money.

A social media page that shows the products in movement and different lighting. I need to be able to imagine myself in the item before I buy it. Where would I wear it, how will it fit on me. Even when I’ve already ordered something I stay going back to the businesses social media page just to see the clothes again. I might even search it up to see other ppl wearing it.

Packaging

No need to go crazy with the packaging in the beginning. Don’t get me wrong, branding is important but as a beginner you may not have the money for that yet. You need to focus on spending money on what will give you the best return. Just get regular poly mailers from Amazon in your brand colors. You’ll also need:

A stack of 6x4 shipping labels

A thermal printer

A scale

When your manufacturer sends you the clothes they will most likely be in their own little bags. If not you can get those from Amazon too.

Later on you can go to alibaba and find a manufacturer to print you custom poly mailers for that extra edge. Put your logo, a cute message, and your social media handles on the bag and that’s it. Good to go.

You can also design your own thank you cards as well. I won’t be doing that.

Little things to remember

Don’t feel like you have to keep up with big brands. You don’t need to launch something every two weeks. As a matter of fact I advise against emulating super fast fashion brands. I only launch a new item once the pre ordered items have been shipped out to customers.

Be nice to your customers. You’d think this was obvious but it’s not. Some ppl are rude, ghetto, and uncouth. If you hate authority and have a smart mouth I think you should either take a customer service course or hire a virtual assistant from the Philippines to do your customer service for you because no customers = no money.

I’ll update this as I learn and grow:

12/18/2023

Influencers

Not every influencer with a mass follower base is going to be your influencer. It’s possible that you pay $5000 for an influencer with 75k followers to post your product on her page but that post makes you less than $3k. That means you’ve net negative $2k. What a fuckin waste of money.

This is why it’s important to develop a persona for your brand. What is your brand identity? Who is your target audience? What are their psychographics?

Where do currently shop? What are there favorite social media apps?What is their race? Their age? Their ethnicity? Are they in college or highschool? Do they have parents that support their lifestyle or are they hustlers? Are they concerned about price or quality more? Are they married? Do they have children? Are they environmentally conscious?

You need to embody Joe Goldberg and peer at them through their window. Acquaint yourself with every part of their life.

Also, you might not be your target demographic yet and that’s ok. The girls that shop with my brand have social lives. They go out with their friends and need outfits to wear. I don’t have a social life. The only clothes I wear are my work clothes to go to work and my robe when I’m at home.Or a sweat set and a bonnet to run errands.

Don’t think to yourself “ I would never wear that.” “I would never buy something at that price point”. That’s fine cuz someone else will. A lot of people will.

Another thing is your demographic could change once you start your business. It might be that you create content that attracts a different type of person than what you originally planned and that’s cool too. We don’t live in a perfect world. As long as they’re close enough to what you had predetermined it’s ok. Sometimes our business comes out different than we hoped but it’s just as good if not better. It’s like child. Don’t destroy its greatness trying to turn it into something it doesn’t want to be.

User generated content

Love, love, love her down. She’s that sweet spot between making content yourself and having an influencer with a large following make the content for you. UGC is a form of social proof which is something you need for an e-commerce brand especially. Ppl can’t just pop into your store and try on your stuff so they need the opinions of “regular” people to sell them on it. They want to see that person try it on, do a close up of the fabric, wear it to a social setting, etc;

What I like about UGC is that I can pick someone who fits into my brand persona to represent my brand even if I don’t. Someone that appears aspirational but still relatable. Like I said previously, you yourself might not embody your brands persona but you can pay someone who does.

A little translate for yall: I do not live in a nice apartment. My room is small, and dark, and filled with boxes. My living room has mix matched decor and I myself am not the body type I’d like to be (pls don’t hit me with body positivity babe). What I can do is pay a girl with the opposite of all those things and knows how to sell a product.

I have a girl right now that I’ve inquired to make posts for me and she’s got it all. Her rate for one video is $100 with an extra $30 for 90 days of usage in ads. $100 is the new 50 and for the return I’ll get on her, THATS A STEAL.

If you need to find a UGC creator search it up on tiktok and Twitter. Most of them have a portfolio of past work they’ve done. If you feel like they match your brands vibes, keep their info for when you’re ready.

I suggest to have a roster of them because if ppl keep seeing the same person over and over, the thought that that person is just a regular degular customer leaves their mind and you lose the magic of UGC.

Update 12/21/2023

I’ve been sick but yall ain’t paying me so it’s ok. Here’s the update.

Website

Your website is your home babe and when you’re preparing for guest you can’t have your home looking any type of way. Not only does it need to be clean but it needs to be cohesive and inviting.

You know how many times I’ve opened someone’s booking page on Instagram and I click off. Not only am I not reading through all of that small ass text but my head hurts cuz you’ve got a black font on a hot pink background.

Some of yalls websites to not comply with accessibility guidelines so pay attention to that bc you can be sued. Ppl should be able to read what you have on there without getting a headache.

Good rule of thumb is to have one primary color, and then black and white. Don’t over complicate it. Your primary color will be your logo, think twitters blue, then your secondary colors should be black and white, for your text. You might have an accent color like gold or silver, this should be used sparingly for a little dazzle.

If you’re a clothing brand like me, keep the text short and sweet. Think about it, when you go shopping on your favorite website are you bombarded with a soliloquy on how the collection came to be? And even if you are do you stop and read the whole thing? I don’t bc I don’t care. That’s what your Instagram story is for.

All I want to see is the attention grabber and a short,but convincing, tagline.

Example: Ski Resort 2023-“Stun the slopes and stand out on the ski lift with best sellers spotted at St. Moritz”

Let you images tell the rest of the story.

Don’t overwhelm them with options

Guys this is so important. The more options ppl see the less they buy or the less likely they are to buy. Why? This is the thought process.

“Omg the stuff on this website is so cute! Let me go through their catalog and add to my cart as I go”

5 minutes of scrolling

“Ok I have too many things in my cart let me just save to a wishlist instead”

Another 5 minutes of scrolling

“Ok I’ll just stop here and go back to my cart and decide what I’m going to get rn”

Goes to cart

Spends 10 minutes deciding what she’s gonna get bc there’s so many good options

Takes 10 items out of her cart and only buys two basics bc she knows those are less likely to disappoint.

And scene

That is if she didn’t leave after the second five minutes of scrolling. Nowadays five minutes on a non stimulating website is a lot, don’t let it take that long.

Obviously this also depends on the customers budget. Some people have the money to just buy everything in their cart (I wish- one day), but most are just window shopper you hope to convert with your nice styles, images, and prices. Don’t make it harder for people to give you their money.

I have more but I’m tired of writing so I’ll update yall tmrw.

[cassieoz]

Here is the full story , I called it the perfect host

Computer log 22 - subject has display no signs of pregnancy but we will continue to track them  progress before run another implantation treatment on them.

Breeding unit on Deta ship a common area that many ships that held host for new lifeforms to be born. Currently The Deta ship breeding program only house 5 to 6 host all human and all been taken to become host . Doctor Ein and their team were busy keep the host under so the newborns could grow without stress the host body out . “Host number four is carrying twin make sure we give her lot of iv nutrients as to help the pregnancy “,she said to her team .

Doctor ein look some what human beside looking taller than the average human and her three fingers.  She turned to see subject 2 the newest host watch her as they struggled to get free from they bindings . Doctor Ein move town the subject and then said “sh..you safe now back to sleep you shouldn't be awake but don't fear ,my dear you in good hand “

“No, don't put me back under” ,my mind scream.  “Damn it get off of me “,my mind scream as nurses of doctor Ein held me down while I once again was put under . 

“Make sure that this subject is give another dose in an hour “,said doctor Ein as a colleague of her walk in . “What about alternative reality room . Make the house think they are experiencing something else while the baby grows that way the host can't pull themselves out of that “. 

“I could try it but I never had a subject wake up before “,said doctor Ein.  

In my mind I felt body laying on the cold table before a small movement in my stomach made me feel sick but it fade as the drug kick in again 

Doctor ein rush on night when one of the subject gave birth at night . The subject awake crying out for pain as the baby inside them move out of the host body and onto the table . The host body began to leak milk as the nurse clean the baby before letting it latch on the host.  “Move the newborn to the nursery and take the subject to the reset pods tell they are needed again . 

The nurses obey as they wheel the crying and screaming subject.  

Computer log - subject implantation failed.  Retry in a few weeks.  Going to see if host body will take implantation if they are stimulate and aroused.  Will documents if they factor help . 

As the pod of subject pregnancy grows doctor ein is worry about subject 2 as most of the other host had taken their pregnancies and role but not this one they had fought most way to be implanted . 

You body could feel the cold tools could begin to open your legs as another tool went inside you and move though the birth canal before digging itself in your  cervix where it push itself into your  egg then began to fill your cervix with a cool gel before move out of inside you. Your subconscious heard the voice said “hopefully their body accept it this time ,give them something for pain then make sure they keep comfortable “

As time pass doctor Ein confirm the pregnancy and wrote down . Computer log subject 2 is pregnancy and body seem to adjusting well will continue to monitor progress as the pregnancy is still new “

Month one notes - the host was place on both higher iv nutrition since the baby isn't gain the weight we want . Subject two also awaken again this time fron morning sickness.  

You awake as your body throw up liquid as the unhuman creature clean up up and place you back under before you can protest. 

Month two - baby weight is good . Well continue to watch.  

Your belly showing starting to swell and stretch.  

Month 3 -nothing new 

Month 4 - host belly is growing and her first milk is showing sgin of coming in . Baby heart beat is good as well their size . 

Month 5 -host awake again this time was able to are make it to a pod before being put under again .

You awake and began pull the iv out and get free of the straps before see how big your belly was then ran down the hall toward what you hope was freedom. You fought the Guards as they injected you to put under again . You kick and claw to get free before the drug take effect

Month 6 -baby is growing at a health rate and size. This baby looks it first live hybrid we have .

Month 7 -normal process nothing to document.  

Month 8 - nothing to document since the host body is near her due date. 

You awaken this time in pain as you feel wetness between your legs . You cry out in pain not sure what going on . The creature and the others rush in and said “subject two water broken , subject have small contractions so began the induction procedure by began to giving a dose of Pitocin”  once the drug to effect you felt like your belly was on fire from the pain . You whole body was screaming to get this creature out . You body sweating as labor was progress slowly . 

The creature look at you and check your cervix and said “not long now just breathe “

You let out scream as the contractions come again “get this thing out of me …ah 

..”.  

Doctor Ein said “we give you something for the pain soon but try to relax as any drug will only alow it down “ 

Couple hours later . You felt the pressure build again as what felt like a head press against you as you cry out in pain . “You are crowning ,push “

 

You follow the creature order began to push as the pressure rises once more before falling off as you feel the baby move down and out . 

Doctor Ein move to help the baby who is more aware then most baby and move up the host body toward it breast to began to simulate the milk and began to nurse .

“What a remarkable sight this is , they are the first hybrid to be this aware meaning that it seem our DNA had enhanced the human awareness “

You scream as the creature move up your chest and began nurse off of you . You then feel the red hot pain again.  

The creature look at you and said"you crowning again push my dear “

You push as another creature come out of you and it too climb you to nurse you . 

The doctor smile watch it and said to the team “take subject two to the pod room allow the babies to nurse from her and make sure she is give another another couple of dose of drug to make them immobile and keep them hook to iv tell the baby are able to be ween . 

You spend what feel like forever we both the small hybrid nursing off of you and the doctor and their staff coming in to check on you .

Doctor Ein walk in and said “both baby are still active nurse off the host and the host had them a six week ago which would be the the end of the reset time but since they cant reset I would like for us to see about testing way to boost their milk to hopefully make the babies to ween in the next few weeks so we can began to breed her again to see if she birth another hybrid with this hyper-awareness . 

You watch as the doctor began to stimulate your body to make you feel aroused as your milk began to flow out and you let out moan in pleasure as you feel your jump from nearing climax the hybrid move off your body . And began show that they ween off of you . 

Doctor Ein said “keep them aroused tell I return “. 

Doctor Ein walk to another laboratory on the ship and said “Doctor Quill, do you have any subject that I could borrow for my project .I like to test what happen if my subject mate with one of our kind . Their last two offspring were hyper aware like or our children when they are born and so I want to see if their next offspring would also “. 

“I have someone in mind but if this work we must then run test of why this human can make these rare offspring vs the other host “. 

Doctor Ein said “hurry I have her ready for mating so send your person down quick since I don't think we can keep her on the edge for long “

Back in the exam room you feel yourself going mad from the hyper arouse you feel . When you spot the creature you try to make your body move but you can't.  

The creature smile as it move on top of you and began to mount you . The creature began to thrust into your cervix each time make you letting out moan . 

“No”, you scream inside you mind as you watch the horror of being rape by these creatures . You wish for this hell to end to go back to freedom of being a normal human not some incubator for this thing .

The creature thrust against you again and again before release it seed into you and the doctors around have the creature stay inside you tell they could injected you with a dose of another drug .

You pass out from the mating and when you wake up you back to being hook up to iv and on the cold lab table lock to it with now a large group of doctor and nurse looking running tests and check every inch of you to see what make your body the perfect host . 

You are a great writer - keep writing!

[occasionallyprosie-mc]

MyStreet Headcanons (pt. 3)

Aphmau & Aaron / Katelyn & Travis / Cadenza & Laurance / Garroth & Zane & Vylad

AKA- How I make their PDH/MS actually reflect their MCD equivalents & how I lessen the questionable aspects

btw this is congruent with a MyStreet/MCD rewrite I have floating in my head and am slowly penning :)

Cadenza

Biggest Eldest Daughter Syndrome in the world, it's absurd

Dyed Laurance's hair red/orange once in elementary school with markers

It did not work very well

Gets a job in sophomore year to pay for her and Laurance's school lunches

Because their parents (Hayden and Joh) don't make pay for their house in probably the best neighborhood in the area and for them to go to the most Private School-esque public school

She accidentally embodies Single Mom Who Works Two Jobs during high school and some of college

Was adopted first & is a senior in PDH S1

Valedictorian/full ride scholarships

Has a Business degree

By Mystreet she's an up and coming fashion designer

She's on her way to becoming a rich businesswoman

Laurance models for her

So does Katelyn, Lucinda, Gene, Sasha, and KC

Had a huge crush on Gene in middle school (they're the same age and he was a Bad Boy)

Dated Gene when they were sophomores

Dated Jeffory in her freshman year, they broke up

Is fully aware of the Chaos that is happening during MS (Laurance and Katelyn keep her updated at least until the end of S6)

She avoids it explicitly, there's no way she's dealing with that

She only visits to see Laurance or pick up/drop off Katelyn and Nicole when they hang out

Cadenza is that one person with common sense, if you put her in Emerald Secret none of it would have happened

I'm just saying, she would have taken Ein by the ear, sat him down, and made him rethink his life's choices

She's too powerful, there would be no plot if she was in it

Could have pulled any of the boys if she tried but didn't because she's out of their league and she knows it

Cannot eat spicy food and doesn't know how Laurance can bc "she didn't feed him that poison growing up"

Laurance

Was raised by Cadenza

Has called her "mom" exactly One (1) time when they're kids and it made their dads cry so he never does it again

In like preschool, Mothers Day came around and he asks what a mom is

He made Cadenza a mothers day card

Hayden and Joh to this day does not know about this

Cadenza still has this card in her lockbox with her social security number and stuff

Sometimes when Mother's Day comes around he buys her flowers or takes her to dinner, neither of them mention this to their parents

Was best friends with Sasha, joined the Shadow Knights through her while he was still in middle school (she’s a year older than him)

He’s the same age as Zenix and got Zenix into the SK’s

Became best friends with Garroth after leaving the SK's in freshman year

Eats half of Garroth's lunches at Garroth's insistence

You know those Harry Potter videos about Lily or Ginny telling James or Harry off for their spending? Or Remus and Sirius? That's Laurance and Garroth

Went to college and med school, works like 90 hours a week and hates his job

Is that guy who chose a job solely for the money (yeah he likes helping people but he's not built for a hospital's war zone) and regrets it

Literally almost works himself to death right before MS

Cadenza is the reason he's alive and she gives him money for modeling for her designs

During MS he works max three days a week, four hours a day, modeling for Cadenza and spends the rest of it catching up on hobbies he abandoned in college

He does sewing and embroidery

Likes to spray paint, he made a mural on his bedroom wall in My Street, he found out about it while with the SK's

Loves spicy food

Gained a spice tolerance in high school after Vylad introduced him to kimchi before soccer practice

He cried at the spice and got teased by Vylad (and later Garroth), then by college he had a spice tolerance that put them to shame

^^ An example of the many times he has functioned off spite and shocked all in his vicinity

Another example:

Garroth insulted his cooking once

Laurance is now on par with a gourmet chef when it comes to cooking, Cadenza is very shocked bc she tried to teach him when he was little and she looked away for 0.2 seconds and he burned water

Laurance has broken many pots and replaced the oven in his college apartment twice

Has a 10/10 singing voice, hates the sound of it; never sings even during karaoke

He has a better relationship with Vylad than Garroth and Zane do sometimes

Calls Dante his little brother to annoy Gene after leaving the SK's

When Cadenza found out, the next time Dante called her pretty she laughed and said to Katelyn, who was with her, "isn't my baby brother so sweet?"

He still sometimes refers to Dante as his little brother in MS, much to almost everyone else's confusion (except Garroth, Katelyn, and Travis, the only ones who know of how this has turned out)

Sometimes he struggles with not having something to do in a day

Katelyn gets him to start volunteering at the fire station during Lovers' Lane

It's a much better fit than medical work

Garroth ends up joining him there

The Zvahl adoption instinct is real, their parents adopted two babies and those babies adopted more babies:

Cadenza's babies:

Laurance

Nicole (she and Katelyn have gotten into custody battles, not that Katelyn realizes that's what they are)

Vincent (junior in PDH S1, joined the SK's as a freshman and left when his mom threatened to kick him out. Cadenza took him under her wing in art class while he was still with the SK's and he's a flourishing artist now. Cadenza refers to him as 'the one she got in the divorce' referring to when she and Gene dated)

Laurance's babies:

Dante

Vylad

Kacey (Oh if only Katelyn was aware)

Malachi (freshman as of Laurance's senior year, Malachi would get lost almost every day, he had the uncanny ability to essentially teleport in the school and not even he could explain it, Laurance would almost always be the one to find him and help him find his class)

[fanstreet19]

Mystreet Musical Ideas

This idea has been marinating in my head for god knows how long.

Disclaimer: These ideas are very all over the place and would ideally be for older fans (older teens to adults)

> It can be a jukebox musical but using songs from the 2000s-2010s

Includes Loving Caliber songs

A DJ for some of the songs, including when the audience goes into the theatre dressed as KamiWasa

Aaron plays guitar

> Certain seasons would work in live musicals while others work better in animation (similar to Epic the Musical)

Season 1: Includes mentions of certain side stories within the plot; feel good romantic comedy musical

Love Love Paradise: A borderline, Mamma Mia parody/ High School Musical 2; may include songs from the 80s (e.g: Eric and Sylvana sing “Like a Virgin” by Madonna)

Lover’s Lane: Song ideas but I feel like it would work better as a play

Emerald Secret: Most dramatic! Ein villainsong!!

Starlight: Too much for an onstage musical but better for an animatic

When Angels Fall: Animatic!

> Season 1 Song Ideas:

Aaron and Aphmau duet “Call Me Maybe” to help them get the courage to ask the other out

“Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry can be sung by just Aaron with modified lyrics but turns into a group song with all the boys preparing for date night (besides Zane)

“Dirty Little Secret” by All American Rejects sung by Zane about his ponies

> Love~Love Paradise

“Like a Virgin” by Madonna: Sung by Sylvanna and Eric about their blooming relationship

The Kissing Contest scene instead is usurped by a Love Love song contest (Dante and Aaron still kiss)

“Vacation” by the Go-Gos: Ensemble number

“Faster Car” by Loving Caliber: Duet sung by Aaron and Aphmau, where Aaron plays his guitar. Reprised for the final ensemble number.

There are many more but I’m getting tired of typing lol.

I also have ideas for a Phoenix Drop High musical songs which lean more to the 90s

“Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls: Sung by Aaron through the door before he meets Aphmau in person

“Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus: Sung by Travis about Katelyn

There are also so many possibilities for original tunes.

I’ll discuss more in later posts.

[aria-bun]

A NEW THING: Conceptualizing Middle-Grade Book Series into YA

Inspired by some stuff @ein-keiser does

So basically I'm going to take a middle grade book series I've read before and adapt it into YA; basically making it more adult. This is mainly for the concept and not me rewriting it all (rewriting 9+ books of KOTLC is not on my to-do list this winter)

And my first one is: KOTLC! Aka one of my favorite middle-grade book series.

(this is also going to be similar to @ein-keiser's format by how he does things)

KEY CONCEPTS:

-In the books, the main kind of focus is taking on the Neverseen as the Black swan, and very focused on the rebel groups. I want to touch on the politics a bit more of it; pointing out all the wrongs of the Council, The Neverseen, and the Black Swan, show how all of them have flaws in the way they handle things. -Sophie isn't going to have as many abilities, since I think 5 is overwhelming for both her and the readers. She'll keep her Telepathy and Inflicting from Elvin abilities and have her teleporting from the Alicorn DNA, but i think I'm going to erase the Polygot ability and streamline the Enhancing ability to just having more enhanced Telepathy and Inflicting instead of being essentially a battery for others. -The Moonlark symbolism is definitely going to be more prominent, about equally as prominent as the Black Swan's swan and the Neverseen's eye

SETTING:

-The Elvin world will relatively stay the same, but the species will be a bit more intermingled and less separated, aside from the Ogres, who prefer to keep their distance. Elves aren't seen as the superior species by everyone else, but they do have that inflated sense of self. The Elven council is smaller, with 7 members (odd number to prevent ties; a lot of the council members were just... there not really doing anything before), and there are representatives from the leaderships of the other species that they meet with regularly. -The society is very classist against talentless Elves and those of other species who also don't make the bar of what considers them "normal" -Violence is still very frowned upon by the Elves, and Elves themselves are all vegan, but some other races aren't. While they are all about the timeline of extinction, they also don't eat meat because they biologically cannot handle ingesting it. Due to Sophie being genetically weird, she can't eat meat, but her body can handle other animal products (Dairy and Eggs), so she was raised vegetarian (Kinda makes the 'soybean' thing funnier).

THEMES:

-It's definately more political than the original version, diving deeper into the councils wrongdoings, as well as the wrongdoings of the Neverseen and even the Black Swan. Sophie goes rogue for a while before eventually joining back up with The Black Swan. -Less focus on romantic parings when it comes to Sophie; Other characters will get romantic relationships though.

FOXFIRE:

-like the books, Foxfire is a school specifically for Elven Nobilty, though it is like a fancy prep school; there are other general Elven schools that you can go to regardless of class, and some that also have students that are other species. Like a prep school, Foxfire has optional dorms (And are only allowed for those ages 14 and older with permission from their guardian), but students aren't allowed to live in their dorms during breaks from school longer than three days. For that, they are required to be at home with their guardians. -The classes provided in the books stay the same.

CHARACTER DYNAMICS:

-It would be centered around the og main trio (Sophie, Dex, and Marella) more, with Keefe, Fitz, and Biana joining in (ofc the Twins when they come along too) - The stuff with Dex having a crush on Sophie will be omitted, instead having Dexiana coming later in the books - Keefe and Fitz stay close through the books instead of distancing from each other. -Stina and Maruca wont be as big of characters

aaand there we go

[wordsandrobots]

Huh. Actually -- since I'm stuff home sick and my brain refuses to shut up and let me sleep -- apropos of reblogging @superhelltubedotsys' post citing Barbatos Lupus Rex's status as a werewolf Gundam, I'm now thinking about the significance that has within Iron-Blooded Orphans (some spoilers follow).

Because Barbatos the demon has no association with wolves in the Ars Goetia. The nearest applicable part is "He giveth understanding of the singing of Birds, and of the Voices of other creatures, such as the barking of Dogs", which is fitting for Mikazuki and plays into the comparison between mobile armour Hashmal and a bird, but pointedly does not imply 'appears as a giant fuck-off wolf monster with a knife-tail'. That description would seem more appropriately applied to Amon, the immediately prior demon, number seven: "He appeareth like a Wolf with a Serpent’s tail, vomiting out of his mouth flames of fire . . ."

But of course, Gundam Barbatos' steady revision towards the Lupus Rex form is a drift away from its initial design. Exactly how much influence the Ars Goetia descriptions had on the Gundam project and how much they were just used as a naming convention is a little up in the air. Some do seem to be applicable (Zagan being a 'bull with gryphon wings', Flauros switching between the forms of a leopard and a man, etc.). Others . . . well, Bael is supposed to appear as either a toad, a cat, or a man, or all three at once, and while that has some applicability to McGillis' whole deal, it's not really a match for Gundam Bael's angelic form. Nor do the Gundam's abilities evoke demon!Bael's power to render someone invisible. However, I think we can safely conclude that, in-universe at least, the goetic demons are only pertinent to the Gundams' initial appearances and capabilities.

Barbatos' revisions throughout Season 1 are instead a gradual cannibalisation of various different sources of technology and weapons to get it back into fighting shape (Teiwaz technically restores it to its original appearance, but that doesn't last past the Dort arc; thereafter, we're back to bolting on any spare armour going). Barbatos Lupus then represents a significant step towards redefining it in line with the Chief's goal of creating an 'ultimate' version based on Mika's battle data, with Barbatos Lupus Rex being the end-point for that progression.

Put simply, Barbatos gradually becomes more and more tailored to Mikazuki, specifically. To digress for a moment, this forms a big part of my reasoning that Mika being able to use the katana properly at the climax of Season 1 represents the influence of Barbatos' original pilot; after this, he ditches that kind of weapon entirely. Even while fighting Hashmal, he reaches for the biggest club available (technically, a broad-sword, but so ridiculously huge nobody could call it a precision weapon). It's another interesting detail that Mika can't beat Ein in their final face-off by fighting like himself, which comes back around again as the back half of Season 2 kicks into gear.

Anyway, my point is this: being a werewolf is not inherently part of Barbatos' deal. Rather it represents Mikazuki's growing influence -- as you might thematically expect for a union with a character named after the moon (crescent moon, specifically, though I can't imagine the association wasn't intended given Tekkadan are wolf-coded in the text). And that's fascinating because as I've written about before, Barbatos and Mikazuki are the most blatant example of a devil's bargain in the show. The kid literally sells and arm and a leg (and an eye) for the power Barbatos can give him. And yet, the bestial aspects Barbatos takes on are rooted in Mika.

There's an echo of Gundam Wing's 'Gundams are a curse' refrain in IBO. These machines bring bad luck to everyone who pilots them, as a function of representing humanity subsumed by war. The inherent gamble of the Alaya-Vijnana, the overwhelming nature of the conflict they were built to end, the fact Gundams are never sufficient on their own to change the world -- it forms an unspoken counter-argument to McGillis' zealous faith in their status as symbols of transformation that is actually very in keeping with the demonological tradition from which they take their names. What they offer is costly and potentially damning, while also largely illusory when it comes to anything other than utter destruction. Indeed, Mikazuki is a living testament to how 'cursed' their pilots are.

It just happens that he was able to curse Barbatos back.

Because that's what Barbatos Lupus Rex is, isn't it? Put side by side with its original form, this is a clear degradation of a proud warrior into a savage beast. The same design elements persist, of course, yet by the end, it's near impossible to picture Barbatos as an elegant fighter making precision strikes with a honed sword. It has become a true berserker, tearing into its opponents with teeth and claws (well, claws and knife tail). As Tekkadan in general tend to, Mikazuki strips away the affectations of nobility and 'honourable' warfare in favour of brutal reality.

The detail of the Lupus Rex form merging parts of a mobile armour into a Gundam only heightens this. Weapons are weapons, whoever they serve and whatever guise they wear. Mikazuki is always honest about that. His awed response to Hashmal is of a piece with how easily he fits within Barbatos. He sees himself as equivalent to them -- has, in fact, constructed his entire identity around being so.

Thus, the lycanthropy he inflicts on Barbatos is of a kind that merely reveals the truth lurking under the skin. It was always an instrument of devastation. Now it looks the part.

[iho6hi2]

Unspoken Rizz.

Type: Drabble, Oneshot

Pairing: Isagi Yoichi/M! Reader

Summary: Isagi was never the type to get frustrated over petty shit talk, but you prove to be a special kind of exception.

Warnings: Degenerate Flirting, One-Sided Dislike, Enemies to ???, Unresolved Tension, gay bitches

Word Count: 1,890

A/N: theyre so LAME 🫥🫥🫥

*Du bist ein Blödian - you're an idiot

"Only one goal against the U-20? You'd think the superstar on the rise would be better, but he's barely keeping up." Isagi overhears you talking about him to a less notable player of Bastard München.

Recently, Isagi kept seeing and hearing more of you. When first introduced, you didn't speak a word of importance and value to him, just the simple greetings with the regular dose of stiffness and unfamiliarity he had expected and returned.

Then like a switch that's been flipped, one morning you slap him in the face with headstrong, criticizing and bitter comments. He was confused, baffled and a little speechless to say at the very least.

You two clash gazes and your smile impossibly widens, while he pinches his eyebrows together. He decides to be the better man and just nods his head politely while looking away from you.

Isagi isn't one to pick fights. He isn't the type to argue with people unless he was bitten without provocation first, but other than that, Isagi doesn't actively seek butting heads with others for whatever reason, nor does he enjoy it.

So, he couldn't help but allow your little snide remark to get under his skin and boil his blood slowly from within him.

He wouldn't admit it, over his dead body would he confess something as pathetic as that, but it did make him look back on the game and think about whether or not he could have done something more, and truthfully, he really could have. But he was still proud of his game and hearing someone diminish his hard work made him angry.

He shouldn't be, he was surrounded by assholes. Both figuratively and literally. Isagi should know better, you were no different than players like Kaiser, Rin, Barou... hell even Karasu. The same shit-eating grin, sly eyes and pompous attitude.

And with that set in stone, he let it go. Isagi continued on with his training, not thinking about you and that smug mug and smart mouth of yours.

★

Isagi was reviewing the latest rankings. Noa had updated everyone's current standing and Isagi smiled when he checked his status, he was higher up now! He was slowly climbing up the rankings and surpassing in numbers even regulars from Bastard München.

"Your physicals are still trash. Go hit the gym," amid his ignorant bliss, your voice booms directly in his ear. Your breath fans his neck, sending shivers down his spine. He whips his head around so quick he was pretty sure even you could hear the slight cracking noise.

He frowns and grits his teeth and almost froths at the mouth upon noticing how pleased you seemed with his reaction. "Shut the fuck up."

In one way or another, you remind him of a vulture. Preying and biding your time to devour him, but perhaps he's giving you way too much credit with just this analogy alone.

You roll your eyes, your smirk never once falling off. "Brains alone won't get you anywhere, go run the treadmill and lift some weights." You advise, all the while ill-mannered.

"We'll see about that. I'll beat you," Isagi replies confidently. He stands his ground firmly, staring into your eyes.

You whistle, unimpressed. Bemusedly, you say, "That was lame, did you make that up on the spot or have you been practicing it for a while now?" It's not exactly a question, he knows that perfectly well, but Isagi still feels compelled to answer, to have the last word.

"Trying to act cool and unbothered isn't the way to win a confrontation, [Last Name]."

You chuckle and it feels entirely out of place coming from you. "What movie on Earth did you escape from? Are you delusional or is that just another one of these group symptoms that Blue Lock gives you?"

Isagi sighs, you were hopeless. He can't deny the fact that you were good, but he can't understand why you only spoke to him and him alone in that patronizing way. He's seen how you behave around Kaiser, Ness and the other less talented players on the team and they've never once appeared displeased to his degree.

"What's wrong with you?" Isagi asks out of the blue, voice not exasperated, just inquisitive.

You blink, the corners of your mouth twisting downwards for a split second. As if self-conscious of frowning around him, you immediately smile. "What's wrong with me are those ugly cleats you got on."

"But we're wearing the same exact pair."

"Look how you're copying my style, though. That's crazy, though."

Isagi sucks in a breath, walks around you and resumes his daily routine. Meanwhile you continue to stare at him, amused at the silent treatment you were receiving. You could deal with the cold shoulder, makes it more fun.

"You're never gonna be anything." You claim. Isagi turns on his heels and exits the room. You quickly deflate.

Perhaps you couldn't deal with the cold shoulder as well as you thought you could.

★

Isagi wipes his sweat with a towel, sitting his ass on the sidelines, slumping all over the wall. He pants, eyes getting droopy. He was about ready to doze off.

Isagi did extra the exercises in his usual work-out regime. Embarrassing as it is, he did take your suggestion to consideration and decided to run with it. His legs were killing him and his arms felt like falling off, but he thought that it wasn't a waste of his time.

He battled the urge to fall asleep in the in-door gym, unaware of the way you drank up the sight of him from where you stood, all too pleased to see him listening to you in spite of everything that was said and done.

Kaiser glances at you briefly, then clicks his tongue with his usual arrogant expression. Like your subliminal signs of affection were inconveniencing him despite your lack of vocalization.

"When are you ever gonna learn? You make yourself far too obvious," he chastises you with a holier-than-thou voice.

"You think so?" you question, rubbing the back of your head sheepishly.

Kaiser focuses on Isagi's form and discerns the nasty drool escaping his mouth before studying your own awky figure. "Never mind that, he's got shit for brains up in that skull. You aren't any better, either."

Ness chimes in passive-aggressively, "I'd still give him the benefit of the doubt."

"Wow, thanks guys. Love you so much." You reply sarcastically in turn.

Kaiser glares and raises a finger, "Don't say that to me, ever again. You'll make me hurl on the spot." Ness claps at that and you simply marvel at the dick riding.

★

Your shadow looms over Isagi, who refuses to acknowledge you. He preoccupies himself with his half-empty bowl instead, wondering how long you're going to stick next to him, leering down like you're a supreme being and he's a measly flea.

You pull the chair right beside him, plopping your bottom with the least bit of grace he's ever seen. He closes his eyes, shoving a spoonful of food in his mouth as a distraction.

You chortle, splitting a loaf of bread apart and dropping it in your soup. Isagi gags at your method. "Don't look at me like that. It's not like I'm feeding myself steroids."

"You'll need them to beat me." Isagi bites back at you even if you easily spot the rice grains sticking to his nostrils and the sauce stain on his chin.

"I don't need that shit to kick your ass."

"We can take it there."

"We've already taken it there. Next game, I'll humiliate you live in front of all these dumbasses tuning in and you won't have a shred of pride and dignity left in you." You respond, but for some reason Isagi can't feel the characteristic hostility, instead there was a rhythmic lilt to your tone.

"You love talking, don't you," Isagi grunts, but he can't find it in himself to frown unlike before. He was getting a bit excited, you're no weakling and the thought of competing against you made him unable to sit still. He wanted to be standing on the field in this very moment, but he nevertheless had to wait.

You stay silent after that, but he could tell you weren't backing down just because of what he had retorted. You squint your eyes and mirth settles once more on your features, "Unfortunately for you, I've always been a blabbermouth."

★

You contemplate drowning yourself in the hot springs. The water is warm, but your shame has your blood running cold.

You have lost against Isagi. Even if for the most part you didn't mean half the things you said, you still had some pride. And yet what little confidence you had left was shattered in mere seconds.

You should have been faster, you should have read the situation first and you should have calculated better. You should have scored that goal, but you ended up as a piece of shit decoy for Isagi, who reveled in his victory.

You look up at the ceiling, blinding yourself. Your ears were getting filled with gross butt water and you felt like a torn-up plastic bag. "I suck hairy ass cheeks, man. Fuuuuuuckk."

"You're not wrong." You pause in your fit, eyes saucers wide as you stare like a deer in headlights. You were suddenly embarrassed, like you were caught doing something appalling.

You dip your head under water and Isagi observes the small bubbles emerging on the surface. "Stop that, [Last Name]! Are you a child to be upset over something dumb like that?" He scolds you and you think that might have been your breaking point.

"Shut up! You're one to talk, you big penis! Weren't you the one sending death threats to Gingerhead via real life? I'm allowed to cry! Real men cry!" You manage out between green snot and you divulge that you were ugliest when you wail.

Isagi parts his mouth, rendered speechless. Not so much because he felt guilty, but because being put so abruptly in such a weird situation made his mind go blank. He couldn't figure out what to do or say to comfort you. Seeing you cry like a baby prompted him to at least try and pacify you a tiny bit. That's what nice people do, right?

"Hey," He reaches out to you, his hand grabbing at your arm to pull you out of the hot spring. You grip his forearm out of the blue, bringing him down, large splashes of water escaping the confines of the small pool. "What the fuck?!"

You cling to his back, semi-strangling him. "Do you really think I'll cry cause of one loss? Especially in front of you? Don't make me laugh! You're not that special. Du bist ein Blödian, Blödian, Blödian." You sneer even if he can't see. Well, you really did cry, but you somehow played it off. You didn't know if he believed you or not, but it's not like it mattered.

"To think I actually felt bad for you..." Isagi's lips twitch into a ghost of a smile.

"Don't pity me!"

"You're a sad man, [Last Name]."

"Eat my horseshit."

At the end of the day, Isagi couldn't stand you. But that didn't mean he couldn't stomach you. You were still annoying as hell, though.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

‘Enshittification’ is coming for absolutely everything

Cory Doctorow: Last year, I coined the term “enshittification” to describe the way that platforms decay. That obscene little word did big numbers; it really hit the zeitgeist. The American Dialect Society made it its Word of the Year for 2023 (which, I suppose, means that now I’m definitely getting a poop emoji on my tombstone). So what’s enshittification and why did it catch fire? It’s my theory explaining how the internet was colonised by platforms, why all those platforms are degrading so quickly and thoroughly, why it matters and what we can do about it. We’re all living through a great enshittening, in which the services that matter to us, that we rely on, are turning into giant piles of shit. It’s frustrating. It’s demoralising. It’s even terrifying.

I think that the enshittification framework goes a long way to explaining it, moving us out of the mysterious realm of the “great forces of history”, and into the material world of specific decisions made by real people; decisions we can reverse and people whose names and pitchfork sizes we can learn. Enshittification names the problem and proposes a solution. It’s not just a way to say “things are getting worse”, though, of course, it’s fine with me if you want to use it that way. (It’s an English word. We don’t have ein Rat für englische Rechtschreibung. English is a free-for-all. Go nuts, meine Kerle.) But in case you want to be more precise, let’s examine how enshittification works. It’s a three-stage process: first, platforms are good to their users. Then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers. Finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, there is a fourth stage: they die. Let’s do a case study. What could be better than Facebook?

Facebook arose from a website developed to rate the fuckability of Harvard undergrads, and it only got worse after that. When Facebook started off, it was only open to US college and high-school kids with .edu and K-12.us addresses. But in 2006, it opened up to the general public. It effectively told them: Yes, I know you’re all using MySpace. But MySpace is owned by a billionaire who spies on you with every hour that God sends. Sign up with Facebook and we will never spy on you. Come and tell us who matters to you in this world.

That was stage one. Facebook had a surplus — its investors’ cash — and it allocated that surplus to its end users. Those end users proceeded to lock themselves into Facebook. Facebook, like most tech businesses, had network effects on its side. A product or service enjoys network effects when it improves as more people sign up to use it. You joined Facebook because your friends were there, and then others signed up because you were there.

But Facebook didn’t just have high network effects, it had high switching costs. Switching costs are everything you have to give up when you leave a product or service. In Facebook’s case, it was all the friends there that you followed and who followed you. In theory, you could have all just left for somewhere else; in practice, you were hamstrung by the collective action problem. It’s hard to get lots of people to do the same thing at the same time. So Facebook’s end users engaged in a mutual hostage-taking that kept them glued to the platform. Then Facebook exploited that hostage situation, withdrawing the surplus from end users and allocating it to two groups of business customers: advertisers and publishers.

To the advertisers, Facebook said: Remember when we told those rubes we wouldn’t spy on them? Well, we do. And we will sell you access to that data in the form of fine-grained ad-targeting. Your ads are dirt cheap to serve, and we’ll spare no expense to make sure that when you pay for an ad, a real human sees it. To the publishers, Facebook said: Remember when we told those rubes we would only show them the things they asked to see? Ha! Upload short excerpts from your website, append a link and we will cram it into the eyeballs of users who never asked to see it. We are offering you a free traffic funnel that will drive millions of users to your website to monetise as you please. And so advertisers and publishers became stuck to the platform, too.

Users, advertisers, publishers — everyone was locked in. Which meant it was time for the third stage of enshittification: withdrawing surplus from everyone and handing it to Facebook’s shareholders. For the users, that meant dialling down the share of content from accounts you followed to a homeopathic dose, and filling the resulting void with ads and pay-to-boost content from publishers. For advertisers, that meant jacking up prices and drawing down anti-fraud enforcement, so advertisers paid much more for ads that were far less likely to be seen. For publishers, this meant algorithmically suppressing the reach of their posts unless they included an ever-larger share of their articles in the excerpt. And then Facebook started to punish publishers for including a link back to their own sites, so they were corralled into posting full text feeds with no links, meaning they became commodity suppliers to Facebook, entirely dependent on the company both for reach and for monetisation.

When any of these groups squawked, Facebook just repeated the lesson that every tech executive learnt in the Darth Vader MBA: “I have altered the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.” Facebook now enters the most dangerous phase of enshittification. It wants to withdraw all available surplus and leave just enough residual value in the service to keep end users stuck to each other, and business customers stuck to end users, without leaving anything extra on the table, so that every extractable penny is drawn out and returned to its shareholders. (This continued last week, when the company announced a quarterly dividend of 50 cents per share and that it would increase share buybacks by $50bn. The stock jumped.)

But that’s a very brittle equilibrium, because the difference between “I hate this service, but I can’t bring myself to quit,” and “Jesus Christ, why did I wait so long to quit?” is razor-thin.

[Thanks Robert Scott Horton]