#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[fatedroses]

Quick sketch of Baen and the remnant of what his old life used to be. Desperation and Immortality can really destroy a man.

[drakenology]

A B C’s with Todoroki Shoto.

hiii! so I got this little idea while leisurely scrolling through bnha smut. idk if this creator is the originator of the trend but I wanna give credit anyways so shout out to @nillabeam​ for inspiring me to drabble on and on about my shoto doin the dirty. 

warnings: smut (obvi so 18+ please), slight daddy kink, all characters are aged up, and some swearing cause I feel like it. 

enjoy my little heathens!

A- Aftercare

Oh don’t be fooled by Todo’s calm and stoic demeanor. He is fucking insatiable in bed. 

But after a long night of ravishing you until you’re drunk on his cock, he’ll run you both a bath to soak your muscles in and relax.

Would help you in and out of the bath as he washed you up, rinsing your back for you. 

He’d leave kisses where he left harsh hickies. 

Would tell you how much he loved you, and gush about how delicate and pretty you were. EEK!!

B- Body Part 

He loved your breasts. 

You would often catch him staring at them as you talked to him, earning a stern look on your face to remind him to pay attention to you.

Would fuck you on your back just to watch them bounce and jiggle around 

He felt like your boobs were always so happy to see him, perking up when he would grab them. 

Would kiss them during sex and loves playing and sucking on them. 

Most of your hickies were all over them 

As for his own body, He really likes how toned and strong his arms got. 

He wants to protect you, so he got stronger so he can beat people up for you if he needed to. aww how sweet. 

C- Cum

He cums all over his favorite part of your body (see B). 

He also likes to cum inside you, cause he’s got a small teeny weeny breeding kink. 

You always cum first.. like it’s mandatory. He simply can’t bring himself to do it knowing you haven’t had your fill. 

When you go down on him thoooooo..

He loved to cum all over your pretty face. He always thought you looked gorgeous painted in his cum. 

He’d kiss your lips after you gave him head if a little bit of his hot cum was still on your mouth. 

D- Dirty Secret

As I said, Todoroki was a stoic and cool person out in public. 

He didn’t appear to be as sexually savant as he is 

but BABY

I’m tellin you, in the bedroom Todo is a beast. 

He really liked being called daddy.

It was something about watching your cute little face twist in pleasure whine and beg for him to fuck you. 

“Address me right, princess.” ASDGFJKF

HUGE daddy kink, da fuqq.

E- Experience 

eh.. some.

He had another girlfriend before you; some girl Endeavor set him up with. She cheated on him. 

but yeah.. my baby knows what he’s doing.

He loved showing you his moves. Watching your amazed and fucked out face was his favorite part of fucking you. 

F- Favorite Position

He loved them all tbh. 

He liked to experiment with a lot of different positions, getting bored pretty quickly.

But his tried and true is missionary.

He got to watch your face react to his every maneuver, kiss your neck to mark you up as his territory as he whispers in your ear sweet praises 

“Good girl, kitten.” “So good for me.” “You feel so good, baby”

Also your luscious breasts were front and center for him to stare at as he pounds you ooooooooo. 

G- Goofy

Yeah soo.. Shoto is a little serious. A little too serious in fact. 

Once when you two were making out he lifted you up, trying to carry you into your room as he bumped your head on the door frame. 

God it was like you were on life support or something

He apologized a million times, blaming himself as if he severely hurt you. 

You just giggle and kiss him in hopes it’ll shut him up and calm his worrying. You knew it was just an accident. 

H- Hair

He kept himself pretty trim, not really liking having a lot of hair on his body, for the exception of his arms and legs. He couldn’t help that he was a hairy guy (I imagine Endeavor being a lil hairy under his hero costume soo genetics?)

I- Intimacy

 he’s such a hopeless romantic it’s adorable.

he dotes on you the whole time, ensuring he’s not hurting you too much 

would kiss you over and over again

wants to you be comfortable at all times. 

in moments like these you’re the only thing that matters. 

J- Jack off

If for whatever reason he’s away, he always calls you. 

“I need you baby, what are you wearing right now?” He’ll ask, no matter if he’s in an important meeting or away on business, if he’s horny he’s horny.

Needs your voice to help him through his orgasm. 

Loves to facetime when he’s away so he can see your face and your body. 

“Yes, god Y/N you’re so perfect. Bend over for me.. yes..” He groaned, sloppily palming away at his length as he comes to his climax.

K- Kink

he’s got a lot sksksns

definitely a fucking dom

loves telling you what to do, always calling the shots in bed most of the time

Loves pet names, “baby girl” “kitten” “princess” 

overstimulates you sometimes just to see you squirm under him, the sick bastard. 

high key a sadist.. he’ll never openly admit to that tho

L- Location 

anywhere, surprisingly. 

If you two were out with friends and he felt an urge to taste you, he’d simply say you two are going to the car to get something, only to start having sex with you in the back seat. 

Fucks you in his office

Fucked you in his childhood bedroom once as a fuck you to his father. haha.

down for whateva.

M- Motivation

one thing that always got him going was you acting coy. Like you don’t know that what you’re doing is turning him on. 

You lean a little more, your blouse unbuttoned so he can see your ample cleavage. 

“What do you mean, Sho?” You bat your eyelashes, smirking at him as you watch his face turn red. 

“Fuck Y/N, don’t be cute. You’ll be sorry when we get home.” He would hiss at you, secretly not wanting you to stop teasing him.

He loved your sexy ass.

N-No 

he hated excessive hitting or pain play.

he was always too scared to hurt you, knowing he could by mistake at any given point. 

he just won’t hit you.. so don’t ask.

O- Oral

he loved sloppy, degrading head from you. 

fucks your throat sometimes, loves hearing you gag. 

when he gives you head though, he’s relentless.

he wont stop until your sobbing, begging him to fill you as he ate you out, shallowly fingering you with one finger to make you.

“Aw.. look at you. So desperate. You want me inside you, kitten?” UGHHH

P- Pace

depends on the situation or what mood he’s in. 

when he’s making love to you, his pace is slow and methodical, wanting to savor the moment

however when you’ve been bad... FUCK

he’s gonna pound you into the mattress until you’re a fucked out mess underneath him, begging him to slow down so you can catch you breath

“Don’t cry now, princess. You had so much mouth earlier.” He would mock you, smirking at your weakened state. Yall I-

Q- Quickies

as much as he loved taking his time with you, quickies were something that were quite vital for you two.

Shoto was always busy with something as he always kept himself occupied to provide for you two. 

Whenever the opportunity arises, you two strike while the iron’s hot

R- Risk 

Shoto likes to explore every aspect of sex, so that leaves for lots of room for exploration.

Finding new spots to touch and lick and suck on. 

He loved taking risks if it meant he got to listen to your sweet moans. 

S- Stamina

uhm.. yes. 

he had a fuck ton, you often cumming multiple times before he did. 

“I hope you’re not tapping out on me. I’m not through with you yet.” He would coo to you, urging you to yet another orgasm. 

he almost felt bad for you, as you twitch and shake overstimulated from his stamina being filled to the goddamn brim. 

T- Toys

he used them on you a lot.

loved little bullet vibrators, they were so handy in helping him send you into a frenzy. 

one night he had made you squirt when he used one on you as he fucked you senseless. 

“Ooh I know you’ve got some more in there for me, kitten. Be a good girl and do that again.” 

he also liked to watch you fuck yourself with a dildo. 

he found it pretty easy to degrade you as he watched you try mimic his thrusts with it. 

“You wish that was me don’t you, kitten? Too bad.” 

U- Unfair 

he totally LOVES teasing you

in public especially, loving to see you flustered and speechless as you try and talk to others. 

“What’s wrong, princess? You seem a little hot.” He’d say, caressing your inner thigh under the table at dinner. 

V- Volume

todo isn’t very loud in bed.

he’ll grunt and groan against your skin has he fucked you 

definitely cussing a lot under his breath and whispering praises or obscenities in your ear as he took you. 

“Ugh..baby. You feel so good.” “You’re mine..all mine.” “Shit, you’re so wet.”

W- Wild Card!!!

todoroki’s favorite memory of one of your ventures was when he had you bent over the kitchen sink. he didn’t think you could cum that hard around him, the feelings almost sending him into his own release.

he loved when you wore dresses to give him easy access to your pussy. 

loved fucking you in them, something about pulling it up to reveal you cheeky little panties made him feral. 

X- X-Ray

todoroki is PACKIN okay? 

i don’t imagine him being extra long, but he had really nice girth

still to this day you’re left speechless when he pulls that glizzy out his boxers. 

Y-Yearning

shoto loves you.. like a lot.

everything you do kinda sends him into a frenzy, wanting you right then and there. 

he wants sex pretty much all the time, I think the only time he’s not horny is when he’s working. 

Z- Zzz

you always fell asleep first, being that shoto wears you the fuck out

he liked to watch you sleep, leaving soft kisses all over your face. 

“I love you, Y/N.” He’d whisper, holding you close as he drifted off to sleep with you. AWWWW 

whew this shit took longer than I thought. hope yall liked this. i’m finally starting to write about more characters other than my baby daddy katsuki. bye! 

[springpalettes-art]

OoooOOOOO O O O O O O O N O O O O O O O O M Y B U S E X U A L A S S C A N ' T H A N D L E T H I C C T H I G H S

H e L P !

HAHAHAHA GET IN LINE

Is it narcissistic to be attracted to your own drawing lmao cause big thighs big boobs and big muscles mmph Fem Uzui is too powerful.

[deadlydreamin]

welcome to theo’s review of go live - stray kids new album (the new songs)

go live - ooooooooooo such a good intro, i feel like this whole album is gonna slap based on what we’ve heard of the new songs

god’s menu - now this slaps. it just slaps. i am living for the gunshots and stuff in this track. reminds me of ugh! by bts, but less angry and more.... idk it just isn’t anger but it’s still a little aggressive. the mv was good too - i’m sure that the lyrics are probably referencing their discography or something but idk we’ll see when we get to interviews about the album. definitely a hype bop though.

easy - OHOHOOHOHOHOO now i’m liking this so far. it isn’t as much of a hype bop but i definitely feel like we might be starting to get less hype before the tower of god osts and stuff. still very much a good bop - not 100% of a hype bop but it’s still gonna go on the hype shit playlist anyway. i like the general beat of the song as well. ohohoohohooh we got an edm drop which i am digging. is this- jeongin??? his voice is much lower these songs idk i’m used to his higher singing voice but i like this too.

pacemaker - ooooooooooo now this- this beat is also really good too. it’s a blend of hype with some good vibes too. the beat- idk there’s something about it that i can only really describe as the kind of sound that i associate with like- lightsabers or neon signs. idk it’s just the visuals i sorta get when i imagine the song.

airplane - oh d a m n now this is also quite funky if i do say so myself. this song gives me good vibes and as such will go onto the good vibes playlist. this song is like, you’re driving along the coast and the sun’s setting and it’s that very specfic time where the light is golden and absolutely perfect. this is what that song visualises for me lmao. again following the trend of getting less hype as the album goes on - it doesn’t slap as hard as easy, but it is a good bop.

another day - oh now this is probably gonna be the slowest song. acoustic guitar- and the vocals my god they brought tears to my eyes. it’s a pretty song, like sitting in f- hold on felix what the fuck- SEO CHANGBIN H U H WHAT- anyways it’s like sitting in front of a fire with your cat or dog or something and just being warm. this song makes me feel warm, and i imagine warm colours when listening to this song.

phobia - now this is very... it’s picking up again hell yeah. oh shit these vocals in the pre chorus and chorus are excellent. i look forward to seeing the english translations for this song in particular because i know shits gonna be deep. i think this is one of my favourite songs so far.

blueprint - ooooooooo this is interesting. gives me kinda that day6 vibe? just a little bit. it’s a bop for sure though, i’m vibing to it. it’s a much faster song and i appreciate that the beat seems to change during verses which is interesting. also those h i g h n o t e s are 10/10. anyways good vibes with this song too. this is like driving by the beach on the highway but in the middle of the day.

TA - OH YEAH THIS IS HYPE AND A B O P actually sorry phobia, ta is my favourite song so far. seriously this is like the perfect mix of hype and good vibes and bop. seriously how can you not bop to this song is what i wanna know. so good. it’s upbeat and yeah definitely my favourite song so far. everything is just so good.

haven - oh? this has those good vibes and is a bop. i quite like it, not as good as ta in my opinion but i still quite like it. it reminds me of those catchy songs that play on the radio in my dads work truck when i used to help him out. i like the lyrics (from what i can pick up in korean and english) and want to see the lyrics for this song too because i know it’s one of those upbeat and inspiring songs.

overall, i love this album! 10/10 will buy it when i get the money lmao. i am kinda iffy on the food concept at the moment not gonna lie, but yeah idk maybe once i understand the meaning behind it all i’ll understand it more lmao.

[five-but-not-really]

Allison, downstairs: Uh, do you hear that? It sounds like a dying cat..

Vanya: No i hear it too, i think it’s coming from klaus’s room

~Klaus’s room~

Klaus: OOoOoOoOo- G et MOneY yA yA g ET MonEY YA yA WA IT

WA iT U H SKa-ATE UH S P I T

O N M Y D I C K L I K E A

B E Y B L A D E u H

[situations-are-irrelevant-now]

Answer all 100 questions!✨

Ayyyy okay! Thank you 😄1.Is a kiss considered cheating?Yes.2.Have you ever faked orgasm?Haven't we all at least once?!3.If you could have one superpower, what would it be?Travel through time.4.Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?Not likely.5.Tell us some funny drunk story.Oh god. I have so many. They're stories for another time because they're too long 😂6.Why are you no longer together with your ex?Things just didn't work out.7.If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Natural causes or like a quick death.8.What are your current goals?Honestly just to be healthier mentally and physically.9.Do you like someone?My girlfriend ☺️10.Who was the last person to disappoint you?Myself I think (OooOooOoO deep)11.Do you like your body?Mostly yes ☺️12.Can you keep a diet?God no.13.If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?Look after animals properly, they don't have a voice to tell you how they're feeling, they're so innocent, give them lots of love and care. Adopt don't shop.14.Do you work?Nope.15.If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?Pasta.16.Would you get a tattoo?I already have 12.17.Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?Food, tattoos, friends, family, girlfriend.18.Can you drive?Nah.19.When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?A day or two ago. 😊20.What was the last thing you cried for?My fuckin' hormones made me cry for no reason 😂😂21.Do you keep a journal?On and off yeah.22.Is life fun?It's pretty lit most of the time. 23.Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Depends on who it is.24.What’s your dream car?Convertible.25.Are grades in school important?God no.26.Describe your crush.My girlfriend @cobain-kurt27.What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?Looking for Alaska and basically any horror classics.28.What was your last lie?I don't generally lie to people so idk.29.Dumbest lie you ever told? One time when I was 8 I said "fucking bitch" and a friend tried to run to my house to tell my mam and I cried and wouldn't let them in my garden, then when I was like 11, I went to my mam crying and told her I lied about not saying bad words and she laughed at me and told me to go away 😂30.Is crying in front of people embarrassing?Only if it's someone I don't know well.31.Something you did and you are proud of?Uhm one time I ate 3 take aways in one day, I guess that's something right? 32.What’s your favourite cocktail?Purple Rain from TGI Fridays ❤️33.Something you are good at?HAHAHAHA. I don't really have a skill, I guess socialising? 34.Do you like small kids?If they're well behaved sure, if they're spoilt brats then ew g'way.35.How are you feeling right now?Im alright. Could be better, could be worse.36.What would you name your daughter/son?I've always like the name Sarah, I used to use that name in all the games I played as a kid, for a boy I like the names Ryan and Conor.37.What do you need to be happy?To surround myself in people who care about me.38.Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?Ah there's always at least one.39.What was the last gift you received?Food ❤️40.What was the last gift you gave?Also food 😂41.What was the last concert you went to?Avenged Sevenfold.42.Favourite place to shop at?H&m and Topshop.43.Who inspires you?My mam.44.How old were you when you first got drunk?15.45.How old were you when you first got high?16.46.How old were you when you first had sex?15.47.When was your first kiss?2013 at a Pierce The Veil concert.48.Something you want to do until the end of this year?Sesh and travel.49.Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?The choices I made made me happy and I wanted at the time, so nah.50.Post a selfie.I'll post one later.51.Who are you most comfortable around?My girlfriend and my close friends.52.Name one thing that terrifies you.Losing the people I care about.53.What kind of books do you read?Romance, mystery, supernatural kinda books.54.What would you tell your 12 year old self?M8 you is gay. Stop being so loud and annoying. You're gonna find good friends don't worry, don't be a push over.55.What is your favourite flower?Rose (cliche I know lmao)56.Any bad habits you have?I over think, talk a little too loudly without noticing, interrupting people while talking (I don't mean to I just get excited) I'm stubborn.57.What kind of people are you attracted to?Cocky, forward, confident kinda personality.58.What was the last thing you cried for?There was no reason for it, just hormones and over thinking.59.Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?Fish, squid, lamb, turkey.60.Are you in love?Yes.61.Something you find romantic?Just putting in an effort to show how much you love your parter is enough 😊 62.How long was your longest relationship? 2 years and 8 months.63.What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Girls can be so nasty towards eachother, not much else tbh.64.What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? Sometimes they just can't take no for an answer, when they put their hands down their trousers ew, and when they're like "hmm lesbian? I can turn you" UGH.65.What are you saving money for?Tattoo.66.How would you describe your bad side?When I get angry I can switch off feelings completely and be really cold.67.Are you actually a good person? Why?I think so. I try my best to care for others.68.What are you living for?The people I love, mainly my cat.69.Have you ever done anything illegal?Yas.70.Do you like your body?Didn't I already answer this? 71.Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Nope.72.Ever sent nudes?Yep.73.Have you ever cheated on someone?Nope.74.Favourite candy?ANY CANDY IS MY FAVOURITE CANDY. Probably red liquorice though.75.Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!Nope. 😂76.Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?Nah but I play PS4. I like Little Nightmare, Crash Bandicoot, Layers Of Fear, Mirrors Edge, Life Is Strange, Until Dawn, Beyond Two Souls, Heavy Rain etc.77.Favourite TV series?I have too many omg. Black Mirror, OITNB, Pretty Little Liars, Gilmore Girls, AHS.78.Are you religious? Does God exist? Nope and nopeee.79.What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?It's been a while since I've read, I don't remember.80.What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?It's g, people can choose eat what they want. 81.How long have you been on Tumblr?Like 2010.82.Do you like Chineese food?HELL YEAHHH!83.McDonalds or Subway?McDonalds.84.Vodka or whiskey?Whiskey. 85.Alcohol or drugs?Alcohol.86.Ever been out of your province/state/country?Yas.87.Meaning behind your blog name?It's lyrics from Escape The Fate - Situations (Emo I know, but I will never give up the URL heheheh)88.What are you scared of?Everyone I love leaving me, a painful death, dying young because of CF.89.Last time you were insulted?Ayyy I insult myself all the time 🤙🏻90.Most traumatic experience ?When a friend of mine had died and I never got to say goodbye to her properly, or even get to go to a funeral for closure.91.Perfect date idea? Literally anything, I'm happy as long as I'm with the person and having fun ^.^ 92.Favourite app on your phone?I don't have a favourite.93.What colour are the walls in your room?Cream94.Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? Yeah, GloomGames, Idubbbz, Jenna Marbles and her boyfriend Julien.95.Share your favourite quotes."I won't die defeated" "at some point you just gotta pull off the band-aid, and it hurts but then it's over and you're relieved" "I will love myself despite the ease with which I lean toward the opposite" "seize the day or die regretting the time you lost"96.What is the meaning of life?42.97.Do you like horror movies?YASSSSS!!!!98.Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Nope.99.Do you feel lucky or special in a way?I'm lucky to have such amazing people around me who care and look after me when I need it ❤️100.Can you keep a secret?Generally yas.

[z-odiology]

THE SIGNS AT AN ARCADE

*Aquarius and Pisces spent 5 months away in Europe dealing with business then came back*

Pisces: *breaks the door open* gUESS WHO’S HOME BINCHES

Cancer: pISCES *jumps onto Pisces and hugs them hard*

Pisces: oh my beautiful dog, i missed you too <3

Cancer: PISCES PLEASE STOP WITH THE DOG

Pisces: nevr

Cancer: ily anyway

Pisces: ly too dog<3

Scorpio: *internally screaming* where’s Aquarius?

Pisces: *grim face* they-

*window opens and Aquarius drops 10 ft onto the couch*

Aquarius: FORGET FLATLINING HELLO THE WEED DEALER IS HERE

Aries: wow just wow

Aquarius: u ok

Aries: maybe

Aquarius: ok

Virgo: yOU SWEET, INNOCENT, STUPID, DUMBASS CHILDREN WHERE WERE YOU

Aquarius: *smug* moneh

Pisces: *still hugging Cancer* monehss

Libra: so does that mean Sagittarius gets some more liptube

Capricorn: LIPSTICK 

Capricorn: oH NOW THEY’RE HOME HIH I HI WELCOME 

Pisces: Eyyyy

Aquarius: oi

Sagittarius: i heard liptube does that mean me and my chicks get to experiment mo- BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Aquarius: EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Leo: yay hurrah pls hush idc

Taurus: ohmigod now they’re home ey; don’t mind Leo, they’re just sad, still sad, because you guys left them

Leo: nO I’M NOT

Everyone: mmmhhhmmmm suree

Pisces: *drags Cancer with them and hugs Leo* shhhh

Everyone: *goes to Pisces and Leo and Cancer and hugs* we love you

Aries: Wait we didn’t give Aquarius a hug

Aquarius: nOPE DON’T NEED ONE 

Taurus: *walks over* everyone needs-

Aquarius: *sprints like flippin’ sonic upstairs and jumps onto a window and whispers* i’m not meant for warmth

Gemini: did Aquarius get touched a lot out there

Pisces: *still being hugged* let’s just say everyone wanted to see how much they could tolerate people

Gemini: and?

Pisces: snapped necks

Libra:…..oh

Aquarius: *poker face* :)

Sagittarius: yKNOW TO GET RID OF THIS TENSION, WE SHOULD GO TO THE ARCADE

Pisces: yES

*they go to the arcade*

Aquarius: w hat if  i snap

Sagittarius: their necks?

Aquarius: yes and something else

Sagittarius: what?

Aquarius: their-

Pisces: oKAY THAT’S ENOUGH LET’S GO

Cancer: LET’S TRY THAT JUMPING JACK THING

Pisces: yes

*Pisces and Cancer go to that jumping jack thing*

Sagittarius: well we could go hit on trees

Aquarius: boring

Sagittarius: we could joyride in Leo’s car

Aquarius: let’s take Leo with us

Sagittarius: *goes and gets Leo* let’s go loser

Leo: *being dragged away* hHAHAHAH WHERE HEH *feeling loved*

Sagittarius: joyriding

Leo: *stops* nUH UH WE ARE GOING FOR A DRIVE NOT A JOYRIDE

Aquarius: we shouldn’t have gotten you.

Leo: *sad* oh okay bye

Sagittarius: dammit Aquarius *gets Leo again* IT’S OKAY WE’RE GONNA GO FOR A DRIVE

Leo: yay 

*they all go outside and get in Leo’s car and start to drive around*

Leo: look at the scenery. it’s great, isn’t it?

Sagittarius: great :)) *punches Aquarius’ arm* right?

Aquarius: just great man :))))))))))

Leo: LOOK HOW PRETTY THE LIGHTS ARE

Sagittarius: ooooooooo

Leo: 

Leo:…….

Leo: WHERE’S AQUARIUS

Sagittarius: *turns around and sees that Aquarius isn’t in the back* oH SHIT DAMMIT WHERE’D THEY GO DAMM I T

Leo: *stops car* I’M GONNA KM-

*Aquarius falls off the car’s top*

Aquarius: *jumps up in front of car* I’M OKAY. I AM OKAY. IT IS OKAY. I AM OKAY

Sagittarius: run them over.

Aquarius: *the sweet release of life and the kiss of death shall be upon me, thank you dear lord-* 

Leo: NO I CAN’T NO WHAT THE HECK

Aquarius: *…….death pls come back tf man……* oh.

Sagittarius: *puts their head out the window* GET IN THE CAR AQUARIUS OH MY GOD

Aquarius: *shut up Sagittarius* whatever

Leo: nO need to be sALTy

Aquarius: shut your whiny ass

Sagittarius: eXCUSE ME-

Aquarius: you’re excused

Leo: WHAT IS UP WITH YOU

Aquarius: WHAT IS DOWN WITH YOU?

Leo: good point

Sagittarius: GET IN THE CARRRRRRRRR

Aquarius: *gets in the car*

Pisces: I *jump* WAS *jump* RUNNING *jump* THROUGH *jump* THE *jump* *jump* 6 *jump* WITH *jump* MY-

Cancer: HOES

Pisces: it’s woes

Cancer: why?

Pisces: because Drake is a Scorpio

Scorpio: dID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME

Pisces:…….by accident

Scorpio: so like…….did you want me here or like

Pisces:

Libra: no because they were talking about Drake, not you lol

Scorpio: KDKDJCJSJSNNDNZ

Aries: missed you 

Scorpio: good

Aries: no, like-

Gemini: sucks at aim remember

Aries: *clicks tongue* kachow

Scorpio: KERCHEW

Aries: oh

Libra: i’m

Libra: remember the cops at the strip club

Gemini: ya

Libra: good

Gemini: oh

Capricorn: shhhhhh Virgo shut up

Virgo: hahahaha

Capricorn: why’d i let you get high with me

Virgo: bye

Capricorn: i was jk no

Virgo: shhhhhhhHH shots

Aquarius: if i jumped out of the car would i survive

Leo: no because you’d most likely die

Aquarius: did you notice how i said “I” and not “you”

Sagittarius: rosted

Leo: I DON’T KNOW, WHY DON’T YOU TRY IT?

Aquarius: okay *opens door*

Sagittarius: *grabs Aquarius by the shirt* wHAT THE HELL

Aquarius: uh now would be the time you either let me go and let my face has scabs or pull me in

Sagittarius: *pulls in* you’re an idiot

Aquarius: says the idiot

Leo: rOSted

Sagittarius: i shouldn’t have pulled you in

Aquarius: thanks

*back at the arcade*

Pisces: i’ve done so much cardio people would call me a diver instead of a fish tbh

Cancer: why?

Pisces: because i’m majestic and i am as lean as shark meat

Cancer: excuse me

Pisces: i’m just kidding, my beautiful dog

Aries: HAHHAHAHAHA

Cancer: i

Libra: just do it tbh

Pisces: be my dog 

Cancer: lol k

Scorpio: wow touching 

Aries: as salty as the dead sea

Capricorn: someone say my name?

Aries: i said salty not Caprisalt

Capricorn:: fight me you sheep

Scorpio: oh shit

Aries: come at me goat mermaid

Pisces: no one make fun of the fish

Virgo: i need clean sheets not dirty shit

Aries: shit is always dirty

Scorpio: not theirs

Libra: OH SHIT

Virgo: yeah cause i see shit on your face, Scorpio *leaves*

Capricorn: nice you just pissed off Mr. Clean

Libra: I AM ACTUALLY C R Y I N G

Virgo: bye

Capricorn: no come back

*in the car*

Leo: where are we going again?

Sagittarius and Aquarius: a farm

Leo: why?

Sagittarius: gotta pick up my chicks

Leo: gODDAMN IT

*they get out of the car and pretty girls come out*

Girl: hay ;)

Sagittarius: MOVE. I’M. GAY.

Aquarius: i’m fucjngi

Leo: they’re not always like this

Aquarius: i’m into chickens

Leo: i’m so-

Sagittarius: those checkered cows turn me on

Leo: honestly-

Aquarius: those ferrets wanna make me squirm

Sagittarius: squirt?

Aquarius: no squirm because they’re that good

Leo: this is bestiality

Aquarius: i’m not into beasts. jk im into myself so

Leo: can we go

Sagittarius: yes i got them. jk i only wanted to visit

Leo: DAMMIT

Aquarius: *in the car* get in losers we’re going home

Sagittarius: k

*they get in the car and into the arcade*

Virgo: WELL AT LEAST I DON’T JUMP MOUNTAINS FOR MY IMAGE

Aries: SAYS THE CLEANING MAID

Scorpio: oH SHIT

Virgo: VERY FUNNY, HOW ABOUT YOU-

Capricorn: -JUMP TO A SALON AND GET THOSE CATERPILLARS FIXED

Libra: MY TEARS CAN PROVIDE WATER FOR FLINT

Aries: THEN GO CLEAN UP THE-

Aquarius: shut up and bow down, since all of you can do that instead of anything else

Cancer: damn they right

Aquarius: when am i not

Capricorn: al- *Sagittarius gags them*

Pisces: can we leave now

Sagittarius: yes

*they all get in the RV*

Aquarius: SAGITTARIUS YOU HOE HURRY UP

Sagittarius: shhh

Capricorn: how come we don’t go in Leo’s car

Sagittarius: you’re not parkour material bye hoe

*Leo drives away and the others go in the RV*

Aries: i drive

Virgo: why

Aries: cause i said so

Virgo: whatever.

*30 minutes in*

Virgo: grab the steering wheel like-

Aries: no, that’s too-

Virgo: just-

Aries: you’re gon-

Libra: sHUT UP AND MOVE

Gemini: what are you serious. move? move? DRIVE YOURSELF

Libra: MAYBE I WILL *pushes Aries out the driver’s seat* BUCKLE IN HOES WE’RE IN FOR A RIDE

Gemini: no shit sherlock

Libra: you wanna go?

Gemini: you don’t wanna mess up your Gucci shirt do you?

Libra: my eyes are already messed up by looking at both of you

Cancer: I’M 

Gemini: YEAH? GO TO YOUR SUGAR MAMAS LIBRA. SINCE YOU CAN’T MAKE YOUR OWN

Capricorn: i approve

Libra: GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM, GEMINI. OR SHOULD I SAY R O O M S

Cancer: technically they can share one...

Libra: how would you know i thought you lived underwater

Pisces: DO NOT

Libra: the fish food is that way Pisces

Virgo: well shit man time to call Aquarius on your bullshit

Aquarius: *on the phone* wassah

Virgo: drag Libra

Aquarius: how? their decisions already are

Aries and Gemini: OH SHITTTTTTTTT

Libra: go back to being moody Aquarius

Aquarius: i think that’s your job when you can’t break a relationship

Cancer: i can’t brea t he

Libra: OH SHUT UP

Aquarius: that’s Gemini’s job. What? you’re trying to steal jobs too?

Libra:

Libra: i’m feeling so attacked

Aquarius: WHEN DO YOU NOT *end call*

Libra: prepare the funeral

Capricorn: d one

Gemini: they burnt u

Libra: they burnt us

Virgo: time to clean your mess kids *throws sponges*

Aries:..........where’d you get the sponges

Virgo: *sponge falls out their jacket* nowhere

Aries: you sure

Virgo: duh *sponge falls out their shirt and pants* that

Aries: how many.

Virgo: *5 fall out* 24

Taurus: GODDAMNIT VIRGO THAT’S WHAT YOU SPEND MONEY ON

Virgo: well you should’ve gone and bought some jokes so

Taurus: says the virgin. 

Virgo: YOU WANNA GO

Taurus: THAT’S WHAT YOUR SUGAR DADDY DID

Virgo: no that’s what life did in your eyes

Gemini: bring out the cameras kids

Aries: we’re supposed to be home and it’s been 3 hours now

Libra: i’m driving ok

Aries: at 55 mph

Libra: not everyone wants to die Aries

Scorpio: U SURE

*they arrive home*

Virgo: home sweet- WHAT THE H E L L

Aquarius: blazed it *passes out

Capricorn: how is there a fire on the chandelier??????????

Leo: magic

Sagittarius: parkour magic

Leo and Sagittarius: magic u don’t have *pass out*

Capricorn: U wannA-

Libra: they passed out u lost ur chance

Taurus: like always

Capricorn: W O W U-

Gemini: i have the cameras