#I ALMOST GUESSED HAPPINESS BUT I THINK SHE’LL PLAY THAT WITH AARON

[titsthedamnseason]

by the end of tonight we will have officially made it to the halfway point of the la shows if you can believe it, which means that ITS LA N3 and we as always have to play the surprise song guessing game. leave your guesses in the tags / replies and i will give all of our winners a shoutout 🥰

tonight my guess is that she will play bye bye baby and …so it goes

[boldlyvoid]

Wheels Up

Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader (Y/N), Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Savannah Hayes, Emily Prentiss, Elle Greenaway, Tara Lewis, Jennifer Jareau, Matt Simmons, Luke Alvez

Summary: JJ goes on maternity leave, Spencer falls in love with her replacement that he's supposed to be mentoring, Emily Prentiss and Elle Greenaway work a case together that brings Simmons and Alvez in for help...

Warnings: Genius!Reader, mutual pining, idiots in love, drinking, star gazing, lots of fluff, mentions of past assault, grooming, drug addiction, spencer's trauma, Abductions, Rape, Murder (typical canon violence)

word count: 9.4K

a/n: this is for @starry-eyed-spence and @simmonsmilf CM fanfiction week, Day One: Favorite Character... only I couldn't pick just one.

To say Spencer fell in love at the least opportune time was a bit of an understatement. Everyone he’s ever come close to admitting his love to has either left him or died. Now he’s stuck with loving someone in secret, keeping it to himself and hoping that one day she’ll love him back.

He fell in love with a co-worker once again… which wasn’t the worst thing, office romances happen and it’s quite frankly all Rossi’s fault that they even had to worry about fraternization policies. The part that makes liking Y/N so difficult is that he’s supposed to be her mentor, he’s 5 years older than her, and if he was to ever make a move she would feel inclined to reciprocate in order to keep her job because that’s the unfortunate truth behind office relationships with significant differences in positions.

And worst of all… she doesn’t like him that way at all. She’s called him the brother she always needed, a best friend, the best mentor ever. She wasn’t interested in him in the slightest.

“And why would she be?” He’s said this to everyone who knew about his crush on her. “I’m old and boring and she’s so cool?”

But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that every time she asked him to hang back to help her file something, or when they would buddy up in hotel rooms to discuss cases all night and end up down some star trek rabbit hole instead, every time he talked to her she was falling in love with him right back.

It once again all circles back to Rossi, if it wasn’t for him, Spencer wouldn’t even know her. She wouldn’t have ever been introduced to the unit, he wouldn’t be attached to her at the hip and he probably wouldn’t be as happy as he is with her in his life. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend.

He’ll never forget the day Rossi asked him to meet her, to help her settle in…

“Spencer, can I talk to you for a minute?” Rossi called him into his office.

He sighed, putting his book down and walking up the stairs to his office. He closed the door behind himself and smiled awkwardly, “what’s up?”

“Sit,” he gestures to the chairs in front of his desk, where Spencer pulls one out and proceeds to sit down, anxiously. “As you know, both Kate and JJ will be out of the field in the next few months to have their babies and we need to bring someone in to fill the void until they return, so I reached out to the academy to see if they have any up and coming Dr. Reid like agents that they could loan us.”

“Why?” Spencer laughs at the choice of words.

“Well, honestly, why get new 2 agents when we could have two Reid’s? JJ will be back after a month or 2, it’s better to have more brains than brawn.”

“So they found someone and you want me to be their chaperone?” Spencer clues in. “Who are they?”

“Y/N Y/L/N, she’s a wonderful agent, but she’s pretty quiet, I don’t know much about her personally.” Rossi prefaces. “She’s a genius, high IQ like yours and just a plethora of knowledge inside that mind of hers. You’ll like her.”

“Alright,” he nods. “When do they start?”

“When JJ’s water breaks, but I’d like you to meet them and maybe even have them shadow you for a day?” Rossi asks, “I’ve actually arranged for you both to get dinner at a friend's restaurant?”

“Is this an arranged date or purely business? Don’t send me in there blind,” he worries. “I need at least a week's prep before I go on a date again.”

“It’s not a date, kid,” Rossi laughs. “She's just a lot like you were when I met you, and I know from watching you all these years that it’s not easy to do it alone, so can you just walk them through it?”

“Of course.”

That first dinner Rossi set up for them was more exquisite than either of them prepared for.

They spent the whole night discussing dissertations and their independent journeys through becoming a genius. He understood perfectly why Rossi and the Academy would think she was a lot like him, she was a genius, but she was awkward. It took a while for her to break out of her shell and open up, but by the end of the night, he already knew they were going to be friends.

“So,” she smirks, “would you mind telling me honestly how hard this job is?”

“Why?”

She sighs, “I’ve heard a lot about Thee Doctor Reid and how you were the youngest hired to the BAU and all the shit you’ve been through.”

“What are the rumours these days?” He awkwardly smiles back, rolling his eyes slightly.

“That you were brain dead in a cemetery from an overdose and yet you’re so smart you came back from the dead to kill the unsub and escape…” she looks more and more disappointed in the rumour as she tells it.

His tongue hits the roof of his mouth as he opens it to speak, making a tsk noise as he shakes his head. “Well, I did OD but it was the unsubs main personality that resuscitated me.”

“Holy shit,” she whispers.

He nods, “what about you? I’m sure you have a reputation based on a rumour?”

She presses her lips together the way he always did, just as awkward. She sighs, huffing the air out of her nose and looking fed up. “I was groomed and assaulted by an older boy who then told kids I had a stalkerish crush on him so if I was to ever tell anyone what happened, then no one would believe me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer knows the words don’t make up for what happened. “I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to get into profiling?”

She nods, “I got away with some PTSD and trust issues, most girls go through much worse… they deserve someone who gets it to look into their cases.”

Spencer nods. “That’s how I felt after my kidnapping too. It took a while for me to look at crime scene photos and not think about how they felt, and wonder why I lived when so many die?”

“I’ve never been a religious person,” she prefaces. “But I do believe we are here for a reason. Whether you choseto be here after your last life or this is some learning opportunity, or God is actually real? And you’re supposed to do good.”

“In narcotics anonymous, they reference god a lot, it’s helpful for the addicts, but I never get into it,” he opens up with her more than he’s ever opened up with any friend. “If my Devine purpose is to suffer in order to relate to those I’m supposed to help that’s a load of bullshit… honestly, I can get pretty angry thinking about why I’ve gone through what I’ve gone through doing this job, but it’s not as bad as what happened to me growing up, and it leads me to believe that I probably wouldn’t have had an easy time no matter how I live.”

She nods, “I know, I get that.”

“Sorry,” he snaps out of it. “I didn’t mean to trauma dump on you.”

“It’s exactly what I asked for actually,” she reminds him with a soft smile. “If you can still come to work every day, after all that, you must be incredibly strong— and if I’m anything like you the way people say I am, I guess I can do it too.”

He had no idea she would end up being his best friend.

She shadowed him just once in the office, picked up everything right off the bat and immediately made a name for herself in the unit. Derek tried multiple names on her before one stuck, and they knew it stuck when even Hotch called her Baby Genius.

She brought a different knowledge base to the team, similar to Spencers but visibly younger. She fit in with the crowds of kids they had to interview, she understood why kids reacted the way they did to trauma and abuse, and she was still a kid at heart. It was the reason Spencer fell for her.

She allowed him to feel free again. They went out together outside of work, going to events he always wanted to go to with a partner but never had a chance. She loved all the same things as him, and she takes him to places he’d never imagine enjoying before her.

Like laser tag… that was an afternoon he’ll never forget with her.

When JJ went into labour, that’s when Y/N started full time and Hotch hired Tara Lewis in the same week. The team barely had time to adjust to being undermanned before they were restocked.

Joining Spencer every morning for every case, she waited out front of her apartment for him to pick her up most mornings, sticking to his side throughout the long days and nights until he drove her home again. Even at work, they were partnered up for everything: heading to the M.E. together, bouncing facts back and forth at the precinct, playing good cop bad cop with perverts, and her personal favourite… Making the geoprofile.

And Spencer liked doing that part with her as well. Because it typically meant they were completely alone in a room, spreading out a map and leaning in close to each other as they placed every sticker and marker. Brushing hands, bumping shoulders, longing glances as they made connections… he also just liked to watch her hands move.

She was delicate and careful and precise… and he was falling in love with everything about her as the days went by.

Everyone on the team had noticed. It was really hard not to when they’ve all known Spencer for almost 11 years now. He was so different with her in his life, he was happy and giddy and dressing even better than before. His hair was perfect and he was glued to Y/N’s side. Or she was glued to his.

Even though they were mentally similar, physically they were polar opposites. Y/N wore all black and was a lot more outgoing than they expected. Rossi thought she’d be quiet… But she was constantly talking. To Spencer, to other officers, to witnesses, she never stopped talking and starting conversations, and thank god she did because she’s cracked 4 cases that way.

The biggest surprise the team learned about her happened on a case in Florida, a shooting in a local park in broad daylight with lots of witnesses meant the whole team was on the boardwalk asking questions. She went out to do her thing, talking to the local skaters, asking them if they knew anything but they didn’t want to cooperate.

They were too cool for the feds.

“Can I see your board?” She asks, “if I do some tricks will you answer some questions for me and Doctor Reid?”

“Knock yourself out,” one of the boys laughs as he hands her his board.

She hands Spencer her gun and shoots him a wink before taking off to do a few tricks. The whole team watches in awe then as Y/N showed off. Cruising along the halfpipe effortlessly like she was a professional.

“Okay Tony Hawk,” Morgan teases her, “where did that come from?”

“Skateboarding is easy, it’s just physics,” she shrugs. “I can figure skate too…”

“What do you want to know?” The boy takes his board back. “We always see some sketchy guys around here.”

Morgan pats Y/N on the back with a smile, applauding her ability to get anyone to open up before leaving her to take the statement.

“Agent?” One of the girls pulls her aside just before they are about to leave, “how did you do that kickflip? I’ve been trying to learn and the boys won't help me.”

“Sure thing,” she takes the girl's board and demonstrates a kickflip first.

“So, you see as I start the kickflip I bend my knees?” She shows her another kickflip all while explaining it. “Much like the with an ollie, I’m building pressure so I can apply it to the tail, making the board pop. The one thing that makes this trick different from the ollie is that instead of sliding my foot up, I just flick my toe out to the right of the board, by doing this, the board flips in a 360-degree motion.

She demonstrates again and it’s another flawless kickflip, and a huge smile on her face as Spencer watches her.

“How fast the board spins depends on how much force I put into it when I flick it out. As soon as the board flips in a full 360, your feet should connect and drive the board back to the ground.”

She hands the board back to the girl, “your turn.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her nerves out before taking off on her board, looping around and carefully bending her knees, she follows every step and it’s a flawless kickflip.

“Flawless!!” Y/N claps. “Those boys better watch out, you’re a natural.”

“Thank you,” she wraps her arms around Y/N and gives her a hug, “it’s taken me so long to be able to do that, you’re so cool.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “Good luck out there.”

She waves as she takes off on her board, leaving Y/N with a smile as she turns to Spencer. “I miss being that age and thinking everything is so cool.”

“You are really cool,” he agrees. Smiling softly as a blush fills his cheeks. “You’re always surprising me. Is there anything you can’t do?”

She laughs, “yeah the one thing I want to do the most.”

“Which is?”

She sighs, “maybe I’ll tell you someday.”

—

He’s sitting beside Penelope and Savannah, watching Derek and Y/N get drinks for what’s left of the group as the night drags on.

“When are you going to tell her?” Savannah asks.

“What?” Spencer pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

“You have a crush on the new girl…” she pokes his cheek as he blushes and gives it away. “Tell her, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“She could feel forced to say yes because I’m a supervisory special agent and she isn’t and she wants to keep her job so she feels like she needs to,” Spencer worries. “I want her to like me back because she fell for me and I want her to initiate it because then I’ll know it’s not just a power dynamic issue.”

“Have you tried asking her, genius?” Penelope teases. “Because if you asked her then you’d know she has a crush on you and she’s afraid you’ll turn her down because you’re an SSA and she isn’t.”

“When did you hear that?”

Penelope pretends to lock up her lips and throw away the key, making Savannah laugh loud enough to get Derek's attention at the bar. When he and Y/N return, that’s when the questions start.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Spencer gets up and leaves the booth, walking out towards the smokers' exit at the back of the bar, getting a moment of semi-fresh air to think about what Penelope said.

“Spence?” She calls to him from the door, “are you okay? Can I come out here?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Sorry, I needed some air, it’s nothing.”

“Do you need a hug? I read it helps the most when people are stressed out,” she plays it off with a shrug.

“So you do have a crush on me?”

“She told you?” Her face lights with fury, “what the fuck, Penelope?”

“She didn’t mean to,” he tries to cover it up. “It was only brought up because I have feelings for you as well.”

Her eyes widen, her brows raise and her mouth slowly opens as she freezes.

“Y/N?”

She blinks a few times and shakes her head, “impossible. There’s no way.”

He laughs, “I’ll take that hug now?”

She lunges for him and wraps her arms around him so tight. Breathing him in, her hands wander his back as she takes in every second if it and he does the same. He can’t believe she’s that close to him, her hair smells nice and she’s so soft in his arms.

It’s quiet outside, they can hear the music behind the door, the people in the ally talking and the crickets in the night. It’s just them outside, holding each other in the smoking section with smiles on their faces, amazed that it’s finally happening.

“Can we keep this between us?” She whispers into his ear. “Just for a bit? I don’t want to go through all the paperwork and have to separate in the field if it doesn’t work out?”

“Wait,” Spencer pulls back. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

She nods, “well yeah isn’t that what happens when two people have a mutual crush? They date?”

“Okay,” he smiles, staring at her lips and then flicking his gaze back to hers with a blush. “I have more than a crush on you, I really, really like you.”

“Prove it,” she teases, “let's go on a real date soon?”

“You know what, let’s get out of here. I have something I want to show you,” he takes her hand and waits for her to nod.

“Take my lead okay? You don’t feel good and you’re going to wait outside while I say goodbye,” she has a plan right away

“After you,” he holds the door open for her and lets her inside first.

—

“I’m taking Spencer home, he’s not doing well,” she’s a much better actress than Spencer expected, patting his back and watching him leave the bar before her like she asked him to do. “He’s really anxious?”

Penelope looks worried, “oh no, I fucked up. I told him you like him.”

She just shrugs, “if he didn’t know that already then I guess he’s not as smart as he pretends to be.”

“See,” Derek looks at Savannah. “I told you everyone else also thinks he’s faking being that smart.”

“Shut up,” she shoves him and turns her attention back to Y/N. “Go make him feel better, he’ll like your company.”

“I’ll see you guys at work on Monday,” she waves them goodbye, surprised they bought it as she rushes her way back outside to Spencer.

He’s already in his car, engine running and waiting for her with a smile. “Come on,” he hurries her inside and is taking off down the road before she even has her seatbelt on yet.

“What’s the rush, Spence? It’s only 1 in the morning I’m sure tones of places are open still?” She teases.

“You’re going to like this, I used to go here all the time when I started with the bureau,” he explains, leaving the main road to take a back root, and eventually they’re driving on gravel.

“If you’re taking me here to murder me this is a dumb way to do it because they all know I left with you,” she teases. “At least when you go to get rid of me, do yourself a favour and dig 6 one-foot holes instead of one 6 foot hole…”

He laughs, “would you really give your murderer tips?”

She nods, “my goal would be to piss him off so much he either lets me go or murders me quickly. I don’t want to go through all the pain.”

“It’s not fun, that’s for sure,” he shrugs it off but she knows it hits too hard.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, reaching her hand out for his to hold by the gear shift. “I think you’re like the strongest guy in the world, you know that, right?”

“Why?” He asks as if that's a preposterous thing to say.

“I think if I got kidnapped and tortured at 24 I wouldn’t still be working in the FBI,” she admits. “I barely made it through the academy, I know this job is intense but I don’t think I could handle being in that situation.”

“If it’s up to me,” Spencer squeezes her hand tighter and brings it to his lips for a kiss. “You’ll never experience anything like that.”

He’s so good at making her feel safe that she almost believes he has the power to do that. He would do anything and everything to move fate for her safety.

He turns down another back road then, around the edge of a lake and towards a clearing. He follows old tire tracks and parks by the dock. “I found this spot one night on a random drive to clear my head.”

“I thought you hated driving?” She quizzes him.

He shrugs, “I like to drive at night when no one else is on the road because then I don’t really have to worry about anyone else. I hate driving because I can’t always anticipate other drivers' movements. If I could read minds, then I’d drive more.”

“Valid,” she nods, “now why is this such a special spot that you needed to show me right away?”

“Well, I have a telescope and it’s been in my trunk for the last 13 years so that every time I come here, I can look up at the moon…”

“You brought me here to look at the moon with you?” She swoons, “that’s so cute.”

“You think?” He looks like his heart is doing the same swelling as hers.

She gets out of the car before she can lean over and kiss him the way she wants to. In his trunk, he does have a telescope, and a blanket, which they set out on the dock and sit upon.

The sound of the lake, the loons in the distance, frogs and crickets and music travelling from somewhere down the lake. The moon was big, the stars were amazing, and this was the closest she has ever seen them. It's amazing, and of course, it was Spencer showing her everything.

He was everything to her.

And it didn’t take long for him to become everything to her either.

Joining the BAU was a dream to many at the academy, but Y/N never thought that she would get the job, overjoyed that she did. They were a family unit; they got the job done, they protected each other, and it was a wonderful environment to be a part of. She obviously liked Spencer the most out of everyone. He took her in, he made her feel comfortable and safe and she opened up more with him than she has with anyone she’s labelled a “best friend” in the past.

She liked everything about him. The way he talked with his hands, how his sweater, vest, shirt and tie always match, his gun looks a little out of place on his belt, like it’s too big for him, but it’s cute. His hair’s been getting longer too, sometimes he wears glasses and sometimes if she’s lucky, he doesn’t shave every day.

She can’t take her eyes off him when he’s busy and won't notice, just to then move her focus away when he stared at her. She only wishes she could see the way he stares at her in awe, because if it’s anything like how she looks at him, he must love her.

She keeps her hand in his, trading the telescope back and forth in turns, her face was close to his every time they switched and she kept getting bolder with each exchange. Letting Spencer look, she kept her face close to his, kissing his cheek softly as soon as he was busy peering up at the moon.

He turned to her with a gasp, “what was that for?”

“You’re cute,” she shrugs. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.”

“How long?” He teases, leaning in closer and kissing her nose to make her laugh.

“Since you dropped me off at my house after that first dinner…”

“So this is me,” she nods out the window, “thank you for the ride, I appreciate not having to be in an Uber all by myself.”

“Anytime you need a ride, you can give me a call?” He asks. “Seeing as we’ll be going to the same place anyway.”

She nods with a smile, “I’d love that, do you live close to here?”

“Just up the street,” he nods. “So we could carpool?”

“I can drive some days if you want?” She asks, “I know you mostly take the subway, and I know that because I’ve seen you reading on there before.”

He can’t help but smile, “so you never thought to say hello?”

“No,” she shakes her head, “you looked peaceful, and I’m sure you don’t get many moments like that in your line of work.”

He sighed, knowing she was right. “If it ever gets to be too much for you, please never feel like you have to pretend to be okay? None of us expect you to be stone cold, none of us are either. The job gets to us, just tell me if it gets to be too much?”

She looks from his lips back to his eyes and over again, “thanks, Spencer.”

He does the same to her, “anytime. Should I walk you to your door?”

She shakes her head, “that’s okay you’ve done enough for me tonight.”

“Fair enough,” he laughs. “Have a good night Y/N.”

“You too, Spencer,” she smiles before she exits his car, smiling at him from her porch before he drives away.

“So it’s been mutual this whole time?” He shakes his head at the absurdity. “I’ve been so lonely for so long and then I found you and you make me feel like I don’t need to be alone anymore.”

“You complete me too,” she makes one more comment before connecting their lips.

It’s like the world stops then. It’s silent and serene and everything she thought kissing Spencer Reid would be.

She pulls back with a smirk, “oh no.”

“What?” He worries.

“I’m going to want to kiss you all the time now…”

“Good,” he mumbles the words against her lips before reconnecting them.

—

At work on Monday, it’s very hard for them to look at each other without remembering that they’ve kissed. Spencer’s practically glowing with admiration for her that he gives it all away. He’s overly happy, offering to do things for others, standing way too close to her and bringing her coffee all morning.

“Okay, pretty boy,” Derek takes him by the scruff of the neck and redirects him into his office. “What’s going on with you today, I know you’re not this happy for JJ’s return?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you get laid or something?”

Spencer laughs, “no, you know I don’t get laid. You actually remind me of that fact quite often.”

“You’re so happy I’m worried you’ve moved to crack,” he says it. “Okay, you were acting weird on Friday, you missed brunch on Sunday and now you’re waaay too happy.”

“I’m not on drugs again,” Spencer assures him. “I’m just letting myself enjoy my time with Y/N, if she falls in love with me in the meantime that would also be nice.”

“Oh, so you’re doing this to get laid,” Derek teases him again. “That’s good, I’m sorry if I triggered you by asking, but I had to make sure you’re okay.”

“No, no,” he places his hands on Derek's shoulders, “thank you for caring.”

“Always—“

“Guys!” They hear Hotch yelling from the bullpen, cutting the tender moment short, saving Spencer from spilling the truth.

Rushing back, he sits beside Y/N at the briefing room table. “We have a bad one,” Emily Prentiss of all people walks in the door, followed by Elle Greenaway.

“We’ll have time to mingle in a minute, right now there is a woman who needs our help,” he announces.

Spencer quickly reads over the case files, recognizing Elles handwritten notes, she was a private investigator now. “With Penelope’s help, I’ve been able to set up alerts in College chatrooms in the area so that I can help to missing and assaulted women right away.”

“She’s alerted when someone reports a missing woman and she has advertisements for people to reach out to her for help,” Penelope explained.

“I’ve been working on these cases for the last 9 years,” Elle announces. “This morning Aasia Desai called me saying her sister Bahni never showed up for lunch and it’s not like her, we know she went clubbing last night and so far Penelope’s tracked her down an ally and then she’s gone.”

“Her parents are British diplomats so Interpol has asked me to join, luckily I was just in Ontario so it was a short trip over,” Emily adds. “JJ will be here in half an hour for her first day back, and we will celebrate when we can, but I see we have some new faces here?”

“Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N,” she waves, still glued to Spencer’s side. “I’ve heard a lot about you both from Doctor Reid.”

“Doctor Tara Lewis,” she stands and shakes Emily’s hand, and then Elles.

“So it says here that the first missing case was in 2006 just after you left the BAU?” Spencer changes the subject before anyone can pry into why he would be telling her about the women who worked there before her.

“I did,” Elle nods. “I was too late for her, by the time her parents realized she was missing and called me in the case was cold. I started this as a way to get ahead of it.”

“How long has she been missing?” Tara asks.

“She was last seen at 1:07 this morning,” Elle confirms. “We have 25 hours, maybe, to beat the odds.”

“Reid,” Hotch cuts in, “I would like you and Elle to go check out the street she was last seen on, find any private cameras or anyone who might have seen something.”

He turns to Y/N who just shrugs in silence; “it’s fine.”

“Tara and Derek, I’d like you to interview Aasia when she and JJ get here, Garcia can you do a deep dive into Bahni’s spending and academic records?”

“Sure thing,” she starts clicking away on her computer immediately.

“And Y/N,” Elle looks at her. “I need you to go over the footage of the man who followed her to the alley and get familiar with his face. We’re using you as the face of the investigation to hopefully draw the unsub out.”

“How would she be able to do that alone?” Spencer gets defensive, a way he used to with JJ when she was the media liaison.

“If she goes on the news and makes Bahni seem like a person while describing the unsub as someone who can help solve the case, it will draw him out,” Emily explains for Hotch, who is glaring at Spencer for second-guessing the plan already.

“And she’s college-age,” Elle adds. “If that’s who he’s been going after all this time he will want to come in and talk IF he can talk to her.”

She places her hand on his leg under the table, “it’s a good plan.”

“It is,” Hotch agrees.

“What do you not have a saying to replace wheels up when they stay in town?” Elle teases him.

“Wheels away?” Emily joins her, “that works?”

“just get to work,” Hotch tries not to smirk at them.

Spencer stands up to leave with Elle, “can I just talk to Spencer before he leaves?” She carefully asks Hotch.

“Make it quick,” he agrees reluctantly and lets her follow him down to his desk.

Spencer rests his hands on the back of his desk chair, holding it tightly in an attempt to calm himself down.

“I’m going to be fine,” she assures him. “I don’t think the guy on the tape took her, we’d see him leave if he did.”

“Unless he lives in the alley,” Spencer combats. “Can you ask Penelope to do a background check on all the cars coming in and out of the campus and that street between midnight at 2 am?”

She nods, placing her hand on his gently. “Good luck out there, okay?”

He nods, “it’s been 2 days they’re going to know by the end of the week.”

She laughs, “so be it.”

He says fuck it right then and there, wrapping her up in a hug and kissing the top of her head as the team watches in the briefing room. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yes you will,” she smacks his side as he lets her go. “If you’re going to make a scene at least give me a real kiss.”

“Hmm,” he teases. “No cause then I’d have to sign some paperwork and I’ve got to go…” he starts to back away.

“Coward,” she teases.

He just shrugs, meeting Elle by the door and heading towards the elevators in silence.

She doesn’t ask, not even when they get to the garage or inside the SUV. They’re driving down the road for maybe 2 minutes when Elle finally brings it up. “So—”

“What do you want to know?”

“It's that easy now? What happened to you?” She teases. “You’re so different from the baby Spence I left.”

“Well you missed my drug problem, my dad being a possible child molester, getting shot in the knee, getting shot in the neck, my girlfriend dying, and now my mom might have Alzheimer's so you know… I had to grow up a bit,” he lays it all out for her to ask any question she wants.

“Why don’t you ever call me? I would have been there for you through anything,” she reminds him.

“I know that,” he reaches over for her hand, “thank you. But I was a big fan of suffering in silence… and now I have Y/N and she makes me feel normal?”

“That’s good, you deserve some fraction of normal in your life and she’s really cute,” Elle smiles back at him before returning her focus to the road. “How old is she?”

“27,” he smiles. “She’s the best.”

“You love her,” Elle notices it.

He presses his lips together to fend off a smile as he nods, “I think I do.”

“Tell her, you deserve to hear that someone loves you back.”

—

She’s anxiously tapping her foot as she waits for the elevator to arrive with the suspect, Rossi standing just behind her. Only 15 minutes after being on the news, the man that was in the security footage contacted them. Making his way over for a voluntary interview.

He looks Y/N up and down with a smile, “I heard you were looking for me.”

“I sure was,” she plays along with it, smiling and making him think she’s interested as well. “I knew you’d get the message, we just need all the help we can get right now.”

“Of course,” he has his ego stroked so well that they can roll with it.

“Would you mind coming with me and Agent Rossi to talk about everything you saw?” She batts her lashes at him, really selling it.

“Sure,” he follows them down the hall.

Rossi opens the door and lets them in first, letting her get him settled and a glass of water. “So you can tell me everything from that night?”

“Sure,” he nods, explaining his taxi job, his run for the night and his alibi.

“So why did you step back into the doorway?” She asks as she sits in front of him. Straight-faced as she catches him off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“You stepped out of the way to let her pass and then followed her, she made no motion to say she wanted your services, so I’m just wondering why you would follow her before she disappeared?”

“Huh,” he suddenly feels played and his personality switches. “I thought this was just a chat?”

“I’m simply asking you questions? If you don’t have answers that makes you suspicious. An innocent person would have given me an answer,” she fights back.

“She’s right, you got very defensive very fast,” Rossi finally speaks up.

He shakes his head with a huff. “I was going to ask if she needed a ride, she looked pretty messed up. And then some guy came over and wrapped his arm around her and they walked off. They seemed to know one another. I thought she was safe in his hands.”

Only his tone doesn’t match the words. He sounds jealous— It’s not like she would have been a large tab, he wasn’t jealous because he lost a customer. No, he’s jealous like someone stepped in and prevented him from snatching an easy victim.

“Fair enough,” she pretends to believe him. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

“I can go now?” He changes right back to confused.

She nods, “I’ll escort you down if you’d like?”

“Thanks,” he stands and follows her to the door where Rossi stops her.

“Are you sure?”

She nods, “I’ll be back up shortly.”

She catches up with him by the elevators, “did you have to drive far to get here?” She makes small talk.

“Not really,” he shakes it off. “I like your necklace.”

She touches her necklace and her face drops, “thanks.”

“Necklaces are my favourite.”

“You don’t wear any?” She notices in the form of a question.

He shakes his head as the elevator opens at the ground level. “I think they’re nice gifts.”

She nods along, pretending that didn’t set off every ret alert and alarm in her mind, “well here you are. Thanks again for all the help.”

“No problem,” he goes to leave, turning to stop and block the doors from closing. “If you want, later tonight I can show you everything I saw at the alley?”

“Yeah, sure,” she agrees with no plan to go.

“8 pm? At Cafe Linda?”

“See you then,” she agrees and he steps back letting the door close and then she loses her cool.

Feverishly smashing the floor 6 button, and begging to make it back up to Hotch to tell him everything. But she also just wants to cry but she holds it in as she makes it to their floor matching past Rossi and right into the briefing room.

“He may not be our unsub but that man is a creep,” she announces. “He not only complimented my necklace but he asked me to come to the alley tonight so he can walk me through what he saw.”

“You’re not going,” Hotch announces.

“I didn’t plan to,” she snaps. “I think we need to look into him because he’s either giving little girls necklaces to keep them quiet or he’s taking necklaces after he kills women.”

“Kathy’s parents said she was in a necklace when she went missing,” Emily adds. “His connection to this case and being at NYU right before she went missing gives us enough probable cause for a search warrant.”

Hotch sighs, “fine. I’ll call a judge, you and Y/N can go and search his place.”

“So shouldn’t we arrest him before he leaves the building?” Morgan asks.

“He’s still in the garage, I’ve let the security know to stop him and arrest him at the gate,” Garcia adds, listening in and planning in advance.

“Thank you,” Hotch smiles at her, “you’re always reading my mind.”

Garcia smiles back at him, “always, sir.”

“Okay, let’s go,” she looks at Emily and waiting for her to turn to leave the room.

“Let’s,” she motions for Y/N to take the lead and follows.

The drive to his house is so weird… she doesn’t quite know how to talk to Emily, knowing only slightly about her and her knowing nothing about Y/N.

“So how long have you and Spencer been dating?” Her first question just gets right to the point.

She laughs awkwardly, “3 days…”

“Oh…”

She hums as she nods along, looking out the window and avoiding Emily’s eye contact. “It’s new, we’re both pretty infatuated with each other but we’re taking it slower than most people because I’m afraid to let my feelings change how I do the job.”

“Makes sense,” Emily replies. Her voice is so sweet, she has an aura of calm that follows her and lets Y/N feel safe. She gets why Spencer said she was his best friend on the team before her.

“The necklace comment… why did it make you so wary of this guy?”

“When I was in middle school a guy gave me a necklace while he was grooming me,” she whispers. Looking out the window and pretending it doesn’t bother her now. “It’s fine, I don’t have it anymore, but I knew this guy had that same vibe.”

Emily put her hand out, letting Y/N interlock their fingers and hold it. “I know I just met you, but you’re family now. I’m here if you’re ever suddenly not fine with it anymore…”

“Thanks,” she smiles. “Let’s get this fucker.”

—

By the time the warrant went through, Spencer and Elle had joined them to search the first suspect's house while Emily left to help the rest of the team with suspect two. Tracking all the license plates in the area like Spencer suggested lead them to a Chinese food delivery driver in the area.

That didn’t stop Y/N from destroying her suspect's house. They tore the house apart, searching every nook and cranny for any answer that would make sense. She was tempted to lift the floorboards up, call in SCSI to run ground-penetrating radar and search the fucking walls if they had to.

But then she found it.

A small metal box in the laundry room contained some tools and when she lifted up the fake bottom, she found 5 necklaces.

“Elle!!” She yelled through the house.

They both came running down the hall to her, “is this Kathy’s necklace?”

“Oh my god,” she whispered with a nod.

“I want to kill this guy,” she mumbles under her breath as she places the necklaces back in the box and closes it up.

“Spencer doesn’t need another girl he has a crush on to murder someone and get kicked out of the bureau,” Elle teases.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“Way to go,” Spencer nudges her.

Y/N stands up with the box and slides it into a large evidence bag before taping it up. “I guess he has a type then.”

“I don’t,” Spencer tries to cover up. “I mean, if I do then it’s people who are nice to me…”

She smiles at him, unable to even pretend to be jealous or mad. “It’s hard to be mean to you when you’re so cute.”

“Ew,” Elle announces her disgust as she leaves the room.

“Let’s get out of here before I end up kissing you in a murderer's laundry room,” Spencer teases, taking her hand and leading her out of the house as the rest of the forensics team takes over the bagging of evidence.

“Guys,” Elle rushes back to them with her phone pressed to her ear. “We have a bigger problem than we thought with Bahni.”

They rush into the SUV, putting the team on the speaker to hear the most unthinkable. “So I did what Y/N suggested and searched every single driver coming in and off-campus and the last street she was seen on,” Penelope explains back. “And I came across a man who was delivering Chinese food under the name Tom Larson… and it’s ironic his name is tom because he has a plethora of peeping offences and general creepiness alongside a metric shit-ton of abuse from his dad and dead mother.”

“Okay?” Elle follows.

“Tom Larson lives near Bahni,” Emily explains, “I was just at his house where I found him and his father had been murdered.”

“So we have not 1 but 3 creeps in this case, and none of them are who took Bahni?” Spencer rubs his eyes. “Please tell me we know who was in Tom’s car last night.”

“That’s where it gets tricky,” Penelope says with the doles tones of keys clicking behind her words. “We were just contacted by the fugitive Taskforce because they believe one of the murderers they’ve been tracking took Bahni… but he has ties to a much larger scale global sex trafficking ring.”

Elle flies through the streets with their lights on, pulling back into headquarters and right up to the security check. “So who is this guy?”

“Once you get back up here, Agent Simmons and Alvez will explain everything,” Hotch confirms. “I’m taking Derek to see Cruze, we need to tell him what’s going on.”

“Sounds good,” Elle hangs up and throws the SUV in park.

Y/N hesitates, staying put and taking a few breaths as Spencer watches. Elle’s left the car and is already on her way to the elevator. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I just have a hug real quick?”

“Yeah,” he wraps his arms around her and holds her close. “Are you okay?”

She nods against him, “yeah it’s just good to have at least 8 hugs a day.”

“Hug me whenever you need to,” he whispers against her hair, kissing the side of her head before she pulls back.

“Kisses are helpful too?”

He smiles, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers, mumbling against them, “how many?”

She hums, “10?”

He pecks her lips 10 times and counts each one, making her giggle, it takes so much effort to hold her smile back to keep kissing him but she feels much better.

“Thank you,” she beams and she can swear Spencer's eyes sparkle as he smiles back.

She pulls him into another hug, “I hate that we have to go catch a killer right now.”

“Come on then, as soon as we get him we can go on another date somewhere?”

She shakes her head, “after this case I think we should take a nap together… I’m exhausted and I don’t want to let you go.”

Spencer shakes his head in amazement, “you really like me?”

“Yeah, maybe I do,” she teases him. “You should get used to it because it’s only going to get more intense and I will smother you with love.”

He just shrugs, “it’s about time—“

They’re startled with a knock on the window, “we get it you’re in love, can we go now?”

“Sorry!” Y/N calls back with a giggle, pulling him in for one last kiss before getting out. Spencer follows with a deep blush that everyone will see when they get back upstairs, but it looks cute on him.

Luke Alvez has been trying to catch one criminal for the last 2 years. Simon Garrett has been a pain in the ass for the FBI, the CIA and DEA. He first showed up on their radar when his DNA was found on 14 women’s remains, all of who had been missing for at least 5 years.

His DNA was then traced to his son in the foster system, who’s been off the radar for the last 10 years. Everette Garrett.

“Now he’s interesting because I’ve been investigating his sex trafficking ring between Canada and the United States,” Matt adds. “All 14 women his father's DNA was found on were thought to be in his ring, which means when they get too old he hands them to his father to take care of.”

Y/N shakes her head as she listens, “so if you’ve been looking for them for this long what makes you think we can find them in time to save Bahni?”

“We’ve been tracking him for a while, we knew that he had a new girl on his radar and when we heard it was Bahni Desai we knew it was time to get you guys,” Matt explains.

“So far we know that she has to be taken to this warehouse in Alexandria before she goes any further, we’re going to intercept them before they make it to the warehouse and then use their car to gain access to take the whole thing down,” Luke rolls out a map of the facility then.

“We need to have the place surrounded for any runners, SWAT is getting prepped, we’re going tonight at 3 am,” Matt adds. “Morgan, Hotch, Prentiss, Alvez and Myself will be running a team at each of the 5 exits. Once inside, each team's swat unit will deploy gas to carefully knock everyone out, from there we need someone to cuff everyone at least until we know who is a victim and who is working there.”

“We’re taking everyone alive?” Spencer makes sure he hears them right.

“We need to know what the step after this warehouse is if we want to rescue more victims,” Luke’s voice is gentle yet stern as he explains. “I’ve seen this man take too many women from good homes and ruin their lives, I’m not letting him slip out of my fingers.”

“We’ve had this planned for months, we just needed to wait for the next confirmed drop-off.”

“Who’s driving?” Y/N asks, having a feeling it was her and Spencer.

“He’s Reids age,” Hotch announces from the door as he walks in with Cruze, “so we’ll replace Everette with Reid and Bahni with Y/L/N.”

“Rossi and Elle will be there to apprehend Everette, we’re setting up a fake traffic spot to irritate him and inhibit him from running. You two will be in a duplicate car arriving at the warehouse at the arranged time,” Emily confirms. “We just have to prep SWAT and then we can leave.”

“Alright, let’s get ready.”

—

Pretending to be kidnapped in the back of a car driven by her boyfriend was possibly the weirdest way to spend a Tuesday morning. Driving the exact make and model as their unsub, her heartbeat was loud enough to cover the sound of the engine and distract her from the long drive. She was overly anxious, and rightly so, it was her first sting.

And she was doing it all without coffee. Tired but full of adrenaline, she wanted to close her eyes and drift off but she knew she needed to be ready to apprehend the men at the gate with Spencer.

She feels the large bump, indicating they just went over a speed bump and she knows what that means. The car slows and she can hear the muffled talking before swat steps in, soon enough Spencer is cracking the trunk open and reaching in for her.

“Are you okay?” He helps her to her feet and makes sure her bulletproof vest is on right before handing her, her gun and watching her clip it on.

“Yeah, what happened?”

“The guards are down, Swat moved in as soon as we arrived, now we have to stand here and wait for them to clear the building,” Spencer explains as they walk to the front of her car.

She draws her gun and keeps it pointed low, guarded as they watch the front entrance for anyone to escape. “Do you know if Bahni is okay?” She whispers towards him.

He nods, “they radioed in that they got her, she’s being airlifted to the hospital with JJ right now.”

She nods with a deep breath, “okay good.”

“It’s going to be fine, we have enough SWAT here to take the government,” he tries to joke, getting a laugh from one of the officers… very strange to see someone laugh while holding an assault rifle.

One of the swat side steps towards Spencer, “I’m hearing on the line that they’ve cleared every room. They’re cuffing everyone, you’re free to enter.”

“Thanks,” Spencer replies.

The high-pitched screech rubber gripping asphalt in an attempt to stop draws their attention backwards. Elle and Rossi jumping out with their guns drawn, ready to join even though the exciting part is long over.

“No runners?” Elle asks, holstering her weapon. “Aw man, I was excited.”

“Not a one,” Y/N adds, watching the front entrance for the rest of the team to start funnelling out with the unsubs.

Luke exits first with a big smile on his face, Simon Garrett cuffed and barely stumbling out the door in front of him. He finally got him.

“well done,” Elle congratulates him. “Let me help you get him in SWAT van.”

“I think she has a thing for Luke,” Rossi leans into Y/N to gossip. “she wouldn’t stop asking about him on the drive…”

“Ooo,” Y/N teases, getting more and more tired as her adrenaline drops. Her eyes are heavy and Rossi can tell.

“Why don’t I bring you and the good doctor home, I don’t think they need all of us for the wrap-up,” Rossi pats her back. “You’ve had a long night, kid.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, holstering her gun and turning with him towards the SUV. “I’m so exhausted.”

“Well you’ve been on the job for almost 24 hours now, you’ve officially made it through your first overnight sting op,” Rossi congratulates her like he’s her grandpa.

She turns back when she doesn’t hear Spencer following her, “Spence? Are you coming?”

“Um,” he has something to ask as he follows then but he doesn’t say it. “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s okay, come sit with me in the back?” She asks, sliding in beside him and resting her head on his shoulder as soon as their seatbelts are on.

“Did you still want to have a nap together?” He whispers, feeling her nod against his shoulder before she pulls back.

“Come here,” she tugs him in against her chest, snuggling in as best as she could in their sitting position. Holding him close and feeling him drift off in her arms. She has no problem following suit.

When she wakes, Rossi is parked outside of her apartment, “here you go, Y/N.”

She hums as she comes to, shaking Spencer awake too, “Spence, come on, let’s get to bed.”

“He’s going with you?”

She nods, “don’t tell Penelope. She’ll have a field day, I just want a nap.”

“You better get more than a nap,” Rossi orders. “You guys need to actually rest before you come back to work on Wednesday.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she teases him. “We will.”

“Bye Dave,” Spencer whispers as he gets out of the car. “Thank you for the ride.”

“Anytime kid,” Rossi waves them off, waiting for them to enter the building before driving away.

“Finally,” she sighs, dragging Spencer down the hall and towards her apartment. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“me too,” he barely says.

He follows her inside like a lost puppy, taking off his vest and shirt, slipping out of his pants until he’s in an undershirt, boxers and his mismatched socks. She’s amazed by how comfortable he is with her, but she has known him for 3 months, it’s enough time to fall in love with someone… right?

She’s loved him since she started working with him. When she realized he valued her opinions, he looked at her as a person and he genuinely loved her company. She felt a real connection with him, not just childish infatuation. He was everything to her.

She slides into bed beside him and snuggles in, wrapping an arm around his middle and resting her head on his chest.

“I guess I really can do everything,” she smirks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She pokes his chest and giggles away the awkwardness, “the thing I wanted to do most, the thing that I couldn’t do… that was to fall in love with you, but I did it anyway.”

“Well, then I guess I can do everything too.”

She pulls away to look at him, “I love you, Spencer. I don’t know if it’s too soon, but I’ve loved you for a while.”

He pulls her in for a kiss, shocking her as he breathes her in and holds her there. “I love you, more Y/N.”

Permanent tag list

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[scuttling]

Perfect

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 6,154 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Daddy Kink, Daddy Training, Dom/sub, Dry Humping, Vaginal Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Dirty Talk, Oral Fixation, Subspace, Aftercare, Multiple Orgasms, Established Aaron/Sophie Summary: Two weeks after the events of 'Present,' Aaron plans another surprise—this time for Spencer and Sophie. Collection: Part 2 of 5 of Present, Perfect, Patient, Promise, Pretend series Note: This is a previously published work from A03, just moving it over to tumblr. Link to A03 or read below! Spencer is sitting at his desk working on a consultation, in his own little world, when a perfect denim-covered butt comes to rest on his case file, thighs spread in front of his face. His mouth falls open, and he looks up at Sophie. She’s grinning, cherry red lollipop in hand. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he replies, and he looks around the bullpen, panicked, but miraculously, they’re alone.

“Food truck today, everyone’s at lunch. I was in Aaron’s office, but he had to take a call; thought I’d come say hi.” Her fingers reach out to brush over his lips. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“You look really cute today, all tie-d up.” Her fingers slide down to wrap around it. “Can I kiss you?” He nods, and she bends down to press her mouth to his, humming against it. “Aaron said I could ask you to spend the night tonight. Or, all weekend, if you’re free.” She sits up properly, slides the lollipop into her mouth, sucks on it. He licks his lips, and she pulls it out, smiles. “Are you free?”

“Extremely,” he answers, and he wraps his hand around her calf, half-stands so he can have another kiss. They’re being bold, even if everyone is at lunch, but he likes it.

“I take it he said yes.” Spencer curses and pulls back, but Sophie just laughs. It’s only Aaron.

“He did. I think he likes us.”

“I know he likes us,” Aaron replies, voice low, and Spencer’s head is almost spinning with how fast they’ve turned him on. He comes to stand beside them, and Sophie looks up at him, swipes her tongue over the lollipop, and then presses it to Spencer’s mouth. He sucks it in, wraps his tongue around it, and when she pulls it out with a pop, Aaron groans. “Fuck.”

“That’s the plan,” Sophie says, cheeky, and he leans in, presses his fingers to her jaw, tilts her head up so she’s making eye contact.

“You don’t make the plans, sweet girl. I do. Do you want to know what the plan is?” She nods as best as she can, and when Aaron looks to Spencer, he nods too. “You like being dominated by me. You like having a daddy who tells you what you can and can’t do.” Spencer swallows hard, because he knew about the dominating, but he didn’t know about the daddy thing. His dick throbs. “But wouldn’t it be something if I let you have two daddies? Two daddies to order you around, to fill you up, to tease you until your pussy is so wet you make a mess of everything?”

Sophie whines, spreads her legs further apart, and Aaron drops his hand to squeeze hard at her thigh.

“If Spencer wants to learn, baby, I’m going to teach him how to be your daddy this weekend. He’s had a taste of you, but he’s going to find out just how dirty and needy my little slut really is.”

“I want to learn,” he says quickly, practically tripping over his own tongue to do so. Sophie takes a couple of shallow breaths, and he’s suddenly so aware of how thin her t-shirt is, how he can see her nipples even through her bra. How fucking perfect she is.

“He wants to learn. Does that sound good, precious girl?” She closes her eyes, wets her lips, and Aaron caresses her face.

“Yes, daddies.”

Fuck.

“Good girl. Time to get down; everyone will be coming back soon.” He puts his hands on her waist, helps her to her feet. His fingers wrap around her hand, the one with the lollipop, and he guides it to her mouth, pushes it inside. “You can come sit in my office and suck on that until you calm down. Give Spencer a hug.” She does, puts her arms around him, and he reciprocates, inhaling sharply when she presses against his erection; she steps back, looks down at it, looks up at Aaron. “It’ll have to wait, sweetheart. We don’t have time. Spencer understands.” He presses his hand to Spencer’s back, and he exhales, nods.

“I understand. It’s okay,” he tells her, and when he touches her cheek, she closes her eyes, sighs. “You go calm down. I’ll see you in a little while.” Aaron moves his hand to his arm, squeezes him, and then he leads Sophie up the stairs to his office. The rest of the team files back into the bullpen so suddenly it’s almost alarming; not even a full minute has passed. He sits back down, tips his head back, and blows out a breath.

“What’s going on with you, Reid?” Morgan asks as he and Prentiss take their seats. “You missed lunch.”

“I guess my mind is on other things,” he says offhand, and it is an incredible understatement. Aaron texts Spencer, tells him to come over at 7 and to come hungry, and he and Sophie make mushroom risotto, to be served with French bread and white wine.

He may be trying to woo him a little, since the last time he spent the night was quick and frantic and ended with pizza in bed before an equally hurried round two. He deserves some romance, if they’re going to continue this, make it more than just a thing, as Sophie calls it. He’s never been in a relationship with two people at once, never thought he would want to, and he wants to be sure he does things right.

He takes off his jacket but stays in his work clothes; no sense changing out of them when they’ll be removed soon enough. He does choose a new outfit for Sophie, though: it’s a lavender colored, transparent, lacy babydoll dress—lingerie, really—with matching panties, though he doesn’t let her wear them. He wants to see the look on Spencer’s face when he realizes she’s practically naked already.

“You’re a little bit evil,” Sophie says when he tells her to remove them, gives her his reasoning, but she takes the panties back off and tosses them at his face.

“You love me, though,” he says, setting them on the counter, and she grins, wicked, and sidles up to him for a slow, lingering kiss.

“Yeah, I do, handsome.” They kiss a little longer, and he lifts her up onto the counter so he can keep his hand on her while he stirs the risotto, knows she likes to be gently touched as much as possible before the kind of playing they’re going to do tonight. He gently trails his fingertips over her thighs, earning happy sighs, and when the doorbell rings, she looks up at him, clearly excited. It’s so cute. “Want me to get the door, or take over stirring?”

“You stir, baby. I’ll go get him.” He leans in for a kiss, and she smiles into it, pulls back looking affectionate and sweet.

He can’t wait for them to wreck her.

“Hi,” Spencer greets a little nervously when he opens the door. He’s holding a small bouquet of white flowers, still in his work clothes, too, and he looks just... perfect. “Jasmine. I remember Sophie said they were her favorite, once.” Aaron smiles, and he leans in to kiss him soft and slow.

“She’ll love them. You’re very thoughtful, Spencer. That’s how I know I can trust you with her.” His answering nod is serious, and his eyes are wide.

“Of course you can. Of course.” He ushers him in, and when he sees Sophie on the counter, leaning over to stir the risotto in her tiny little dress, he swallows audibly. She turns, and her eyes light up when they fall on the both of them.

“Hi, Spencer.” Aaron guides him over to her, bends to kiss her mouth, and then she kisses Spencer. He grabs a vase to put the flowers in while they greet each other. “Mmm, flowers?” she asks when they separate, and he touches her face while he fills the vase at the sink.

“Jasmine. He remembered they’re your favorite. Do you want to smell?” She nods, and he tips them toward her, earning a deep, happy inhale.

“God, they smell so good. Thank you.” The smile she gives Spencer is brilliant, and Aaron feels really happy. He’s only been here five minutes and it already feels like something good.

“I’ll finish dinner, sweet girl,” he says, coming to take the spoon from her with a kiss. “Can you tell Spencer daddy’s rules for tonight?” She straightens a little, her posture less relaxed, but she does wind her arms around Spencer's neck.

“Yes, daddy. First rule is no panties,” she explains, and it makes his eyes fall to her lap, his tongue flick over his lips. Aaron smirks privately. “I have to be patient while we eat dinner, and after, while we relax, but I am allowed to hump daddy’s thigh—both daddies’ thighs.”

“That’s a good rule,” he murmurs, looking a little dazed. It’s a great look on him, and Aaron absently wonders how submissive he could make him, if he’d like that, too.

“All of daddy’s rules are good rules. He’s smart and takes care of me when I’m too needy to think for myself.” That earns her a soft kiss on the nose from Aaron, and her answering smile is lovely. “I have to come on each daddy’s cock at least once. You get to decide if I’m allowed to come from something else as well.”

“We’ll talk more about that later,” he promises Spencer, who nods. He leans in for a kiss, because he looks horny and overwhelmed and adorable. “Continue please.”

“Yes, daddy. We all need to be honest about what we like and don’t like. If the thought of something makes you feel bad, you stop and tell daddy. Aaron. We won’t ever be disappointed, we promise.”

“There are some things she and I may like that you won’t, or maybe some things the two of you will like that I won’t. If we already know, we’ll tell you that.”

“I can confidently say that this is much more intense than anything I’ve done before, so I may not know,” he says, unsure. Aaron grabs potholders and takes the pan off the stove, plates their food.

“That’s absolutely fine. If something you see interests you, or you think of something, speak up. I’m happy to talk you through it. I wasn’t intense either, until I met Sophie.”

“I bring out the latent daddy in the men I like,” she says with a wink. “You still want to do this, though?” she asks, confirming. “It’s okay if this isn’t for you.”

“I think it’s for me,” he says quietly. “I know you two are.” That gets him hugs and kisses from the both of them, with Aaron wrapping his arms around him from behind and pressing his lips to his cheek. Sophie leans forward, kisses him deeply, soulfully.

“Good. You’re for us, too,” Aaron speaks into his ear with certainty. “Let’s eat, and we can talk more while we relax.”

Dinner is good, with soft laughter and affectionate looks from the both of them, at him and at each other. He’d placed the vase of jasmine on the table, and he can tell looking at it turns Sophie on; she loses her mind over sweet gestures like that.

When the table has been cleared, dishwasher humming in the background, they go into the living room to relax with another glass of wine—for Aaron and Spencer only, because Sophie had her half a glass with dinner, and that’s all she can have before play.

They sit on the couch, Aaron then Sophie then Spencer, talking about nothing in particular, and he smooths his hand up Sophie’s thigh, tries to judge how horny she is by the way she responds. Spencer is talking about biology, something Aaron can’t follow, but she is listening intently, her eyes on his face; when Aaron’s hand creeps up her leg, though, closer and closer to her bare pussy, she moans softly.

“I’m sorry, Spencer, go ahead,” she apologizes, but he’s blinking in confusion, and then he sees the hand pushing up her dress and it looks like he suddenly understands the reason for the interruption. “Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cut you off.”

“It’s okay, really,” he says, wetting his lips, and Aaron gets a brilliant idea.

“Why don’t you sit on his thigh and hump while he finishes his story, sweet girl? You can face him.” He looks to Spencer, to make sure that’s okay, and he nods, opens his arms for Sophie. She takes his hand, but turns back to kiss Aaron softly on the lips before sliding her knees around either side of his right thigh. Aaron takes the spot she previously occupied, so he can be closer to both of them. “Go ahead, Spencer.”

He swallows, puts his hands on Sophie’s hips over her clothes, and continues his story while she grinds against his leg, slowly at first. She remains focused, interested—he knows she enjoys being his outlet sometimes, when others won’t give him the chance—for several minutes longer than he’d expected, but at some point she gives in, releases another soft, needy moan, clutches at his arms.

“Good girl, rubbing on your daddy while he talks to you. He’s very smart, and it turns you on when a daddy talks about things you don’t understand, doesn’t it?” She shivers at the sound of his voice, humps faster.

“Yes, daddy. I have two very good, very handsome, very smart daddies, and it makes me so wet.”

“I bet it does, baby, and you aren’t wearing panties. Are you making a mess of your daddy’s thigh?”

“Yes, such a mess. I’m sorry, daddy,” she says directly to Spencer, the first time she’s addressed only him that way, and he can see in his eyes that he’s a fucking goner. He’s so into it, even if he’s nervous, even if he’s shy. He’s at least sure, now.

“That’s okay, baby,” Spencer says, tentative, like the word is new for him. “I know you’re needy. It’s okay, keep rubbing.” She pants at his words, works her hips harder.

“Yes, daddy. Do you want me to come, daddy? Or do you want me to stop myself?” He looks over at Aaron, who puts his hand on the thigh Sophie isn’t riding.

“It’s up to you. Either is good with me. And she’ll take whatever we give her, won't you, sweetheart?” She moans, nods frantically.

“Yes, I’ll take whatever my daddies give me. They decide when and where I get to come, if my pussy is empty or if there are fingers or a cock inside it.”

“Fuck,” Spencer groans, and he holds tighter to her hips. “You can come baby, come for daddy.”

“Put your thumb in her mouth,” Aaron directs, and he presses one against her lips; she moves her fingers from his arm to his hand and holds it close, sucks and humps for another ten or fifteen seconds before coming, moaning around his thumb. He watches, rapt, as she loses it, and Aaron gets it—having her come on his tongue was one thing, during intercourse another, but watching the woman they know is strong, smart, formidable, just come completely and gorgeously undone at their request to hump his thigh? It’s something else entirely.

Spencer pulls her close, kisses her deep and wet, and when he breaks the kiss he urges Aaron closer, so he can kiss her too. “Good girl, Sophie. You did so good, listening to your daddies’ commands. We’re so proud of you.” He runs his hand over the arm closest to him, is happy to see that Spencer catches on, does the same with the other side. “When our baby girl does really well for us, she likes to hear it, and she likes to feel gentle hands so she doesn’t get too fuzzy and lose herself before we’re done playing.”

“Sure, of course,” Spencer says, nodding, and he knows he’s committing it to memory. “That was perfect, Sophie. We’re so proud of you.” He smooths his hands up over her throat, and she hums happily.

“Come over here, now, sweet girl. I want to see how wet you made daddy.” She reaches for him, and Spencer gives her up—not easily, he thinks. He looks so attached to her already, and it’s incredible, to see the things he’s felt happen to himself, happen to someone else.

Spencer’s pants are gray, so the dark, wet patch on his thigh looks all that much more indecent; Spencer tips his head back, runs his hands through his hair, licks his lips, and Aaron can’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t worry; we have a really good relationship with our dry cleaner." After the thigh-riding thing, Spencer is probably more desperate to come than Sophie was. He never imagined himself as someone a woman would call daddy—he’s young, but more importantly not experienced, or confident, or classically, painfully handsome like Aaron, so the thought never even crossed his mind, but… It is an intoxicating, addicting feeling, one he wants to chase until they wise up and kick him out of their bed.

And learning about it all from Aaron, who is so knowledgeable, and firm, and careful with her? It’s got him so hard it’s almost embarrassing.

They’ve moved to the bedroom, and Sophie is content to watch them kiss each other, grope each other, take each other’s clothes off. He thinks they both felt a rush from watching her fall apart, can almost taste it on Aaron’s lips.

Her little, purple, see-through dress stays on, and he almost likes it better that way. For now, at least.

“What should we do next?” Aaron asks, breathless after kissing. “Do you want to fuck her? Want me to fuck her? Or should we tease her some more? With our fingers?” It’s so hard to choose, because he’s so ready to come, but he thinks he can wait, wants to see more of what they can do to her.

“Fingers,” he decides, his voice rougher than he’d anticipated, because that’s something he’s wanted to see since he ate her pussy the last time. Aaron nods, looking pleased.

“She loves to be filled up with fingers. She’s such a perfect girl, because one is enough to make her come, but she can probably take three of yours if you want her to. Isn’t that right, baby? You’re a desperate slut for your daddy’s fingers.” She is sitting on the bed, propped up with her hands behind her, and she nods, swallows.

“Yes, I'm a desperate slut for daddy’s fingers.” Spencer’s heart rate jumps at hearing her recite the words back, and again, it’s not something that ever crossed his mind, but now he needs to test it out at some point.

“Sophie likes ‘slut’ because that’s how her daddies make her feel; like she could just be bent over and fucked for days and it wouldn’t be enough,” Aaron murmurs in his ear. It makes him shiver.  “It’s a little smoother when you say, ‘a slut for daddy’ or ‘a slut for daddy’s cock’—make it possessive. She doesn’t like ‘whore.’” He presses another kiss to his lips before heading for the bed.

“Hi, daddy,” Sophie says when he reaches her, and she puts her arms around his neck, kisses him happily. “I’m getting fingers? Am I supposed to come on them?”

“Let’s ask daddy,” he says, and Spencer joins them, earns his own warm greeting and kiss.

“Hi, daddy. Am I supposed to come on the fingers?”

“Remember the rules,” Aaron reminds him gently. “She has to come on each of our cocks, and she came on your thigh. That’s three. She can do four, if you want. If we take a break in between, she can probably come six or seven times in a night, but she’ll be damn near useless the next day. That would be saved for something special.” Spencer nods, files that away. Seven orgasms. She deserves a day in bed after that. He gets tired after one.

“Uh. No, no coming on the fingers. I just want to play with you, feel how wet you are for us.” She nods seriously.

“Okay daddy, no coming. I’ll try really hard.” Her tongue peeks out, swipes over her bottom lip.

“What do you say when you’re getting close, sweetheart?” Aaron asks her, and she frowns.

“I say, ‘that's enough, daddy,’ and then you stop.”

“That’s right, because good girls don’t come unless daddy says to, and daddy said no.” He starts to feel kind of bad for denying her, but Aaron touches his face, kisses him. “This is okay. We have to tell her no sometimes. She’s good at this, I promise.”

“Okay,” he breathes, and he touches her throat, her face. “Can we take this off?” he asks of her dress, changing his mind, and Aaron smiles softly.

“You’re her daddy, you can do whatever you want.” Spencer exhales, feels like he needs to defer to Aaron because he always has, but this is different, and he knows that.

“Arms up, sweet girl,” he says, and she makes it easier for him to pull off the dress. Aaron hands him a pillow, and he lays her back on it, so her head and neck are supported. “Remember, no coming. Tell me if you need me to stop.”

“Yes, daddy.” He leans up for a kiss and slides one finger inside her; she is soaking wet, and he meets no resistance at all. It’s incredibly hot. “Yes, daddy, your finger is so deep inside me.” He closes his eyes for a second, because that’s hot too.

“Yes it is, baby girl. Deep inside your achy little pussy.” She nods, flushed and eager.

“‘M achy for you, daddy.”

Aaron curls himself along her side, stroking her hair and kissing her skin, and after a minute or so of teasing her with one finger, Spencer presses in another alongside it.

“Oh, mmm.” She thrashes her head a little, and Aaron shushes her softly. “But daddy. It feels so good.”

“I know baby, but remember, you can’t come. We don’t want daddy to have to discipline you already.” She looks down at him, where he’s thrusting his fingers inside, and squeezes her eyes shut. Her chest is heaving.

“But daddy is so handsome and good, and his fingers feel good. I wanna come on them.” Aaron looks at him, and he works hard to find some resolve; he knows he can’t give in now, has to stand his ground. It’s what Aaron would do.

“No coming, baby. Listen to daddy.” She sighs, and he slows his hand, teasing a little more. “I know you’re desperate to come on daddy’s fingers, but you’ll have to wait for my cock. Can you do that?”

“Yes, I can wait, daddy. Can wait for your big cock to push inside me so deep. I can wait.” She sounds almost frantic, repeating herself, but Aaron is just soothing her gently, so it must be okay.

“Good girl, yes you can. You’re going to make your daddies proud.” She arches up when Spencer says it, reaches for Aaron’s hair, tugs it.

“I’m your good girl, daddy? Promise?” Fuck. That shouldn’t sound as good as it does. He covers her breast with his free hand, squeezes it, and very carefully adds a third finger.

“Yes, you’re my good girl, baby. Taking daddy’s fingers, waiting so patiently to come. You’re perfect, sweetheart.” She’s wet enough that his three fingers slide in and out easily, and he moans as he watches them. “Fuck, Sophie. So good, so good for daddy.”

“Look at daddy, baby girl,” Aaron coos, and Sophie hums. “Look at how good he looks with his hand between your legs. He’s incredible. Tell him.”

“So incredible, daddy. He’s such a good daddy already, makes me dumb and needy and horny. I want him.” Spencer’s so hard he feels like he could pass out. He presses his cheek to her knee, kisses her there.

“When you’re close, baby, tell me and I’ll put my cock in you. You won’t be a bad girl, I promise.” Aaron reaches out a hand, puts it in his hair, comforting him. He knows he’s going off script, but he must be doing something good. “Tell me baby, when you’re very close.”

“Yes daddy, I’ll tell you, thank you. I want it so bad.” She rocks against his hand, hard, several times taking him down to the knuckle. “Oh, daddies, please.”

“Please what, Sophie? Needy, whiny little slut for your daddies. Please what?” Aaron moans, Sophie moans, Spencer moans; she’s being called needy, but they’re all a mess at this point, and it makes him a little proud, to be honest. He’s a quick learner even when it comes to this.

“Please daddy, that’s enough, I need your dick, please.”

He carefully pulls out his fingers, pushes down one of her thighs with his wet hand, hooks the other leg over his shoulder, and slides inside, bottoming out with a groan. Sophie cries out in pleasure, grabs for him, and he fucks her and kisses her with lots of tongue.

“Yes, yes, daddy, harder,” she pants, and Aaron touches the both of them with strong hands.

“Settle, baby, it’s okay,” he murmurs, rubbing over her breasts. “Daddy will get you there, just be good for him. Almost time.”

“But I need it, daddy, I need it.” She tosses her head back, and she’s full on begging, which shouldn’t make him feel so good, but it does.

“She’s a fucking mess,” Aaron says, affectionately. “Rub her clit, okay? You can’t beat the combination of clit and tits when you need to get her off fast.” He leans in, sucks at her nipple, and Spencer rubs tight circles against her clit until she comes so loudly he fears a noise complaint. She is still shivering through it when he leans forward, puts his hands on her waist, and pumps a few times until he comes as well, his sweaty face pressed against her leg.

Now that she’s got what she’s been begging for, she’s soft and sappy again, and she pushes his hair back, touches his cheek. “I have the best daddies in the whole world,” she sighs, reaching for Aaron, too, and he huffs a laugh.

“See how she goes from desperate, horny monster to sweet baby girl in like five seconds flat? It might be intense, but it’s the best sex you’ll ever have.”

“Yeah, no I got that,” Spencer says, panting. It was, by far. His other encounters pale in comparison. “Good girl, you did perfectly for me,” he praises, switching his attention back to Sophie. Aaron still needs to come, so they need her to be present. “I filled you up, came deep inside. You liked that, baby.”

“Yes, daddy, I liked that. So big inside me. I’m full of your come.” He blows out a long breath, because even though he’s completely spent, her words hit him right in the dick.

“Is there room for daddy to come in your little pussy too? He’s been waiting for you.” Her eyes linger on his face, then turn to look at Aaron’s, and she reaches out a hand to touch his cock.

“Yes, I always have room for daddy. I always want daddy to come in me.” Aaron moves his hand to cover hers, helps her stroke him, and she bites her lip. “Do you have a plan, daddy?” Aaron gives her a dark, serious look, and he can see it makes her eyes light up with hunger again.

“I always have a plan, baby. This one involves daddy.” He kisses Spencer with a hand on the back of his neck, and it makes him melt a little. He may be one of Sophie’s daddies now, but Aaron will always have a little dominance over him, and he’s really so okay with that. “Lay back for me?” Spencer does as asked, up against the pillows, and Aaron scoots up, guides Sophie there too. “Now you climb up on daddy, hands and knees.”

“On top of daddy?” she asks, like she’s confused, and he lays her on his body, situates her arms and legs the way he wants them, so she’s hovering over him, ready to be taken from behind. “Oh, god.”

“Yes, baby, you’re going to love this. Daddy is close enough to kiss and touch, but you’ll probably just whimper and moan on top of him and rub your little clit against his cock, get it hard again. You’re such a needy slut for your daddies, even after two orgasms, aren’t you?”

“So needy for my daddies, so slutty,” she agrees, and Spencer catches her lips in a kiss, can’t help himself. He’s breathing hard.

“You’ll be a good girl for me while daddy fucks you, won’t you, baby?” he asks, and she nods seriously.

“Yes daddy, I’ll be so good, I promise.” Aaron gets behind her, plants his hands around where Spencer’s shoulders are.

“I need daddy’s help with this,” he says, but he’s looking at Spencer. He picks up one of Spencer’s hands, presses it against Sophie’s thigh so he’s pinning her up against Aaron, holding her in place. To say that's hot is an extreme understatement; he puts his other hand on the other side. “You’re allowed to come, baby girl, but if this feels like too much, what do you say?”

“I say, ‘enough, daddy,’” she murmurs, looking back at him.

“Right, sweet girl, because even when we’re playing, when you tell me it’s enough I’ll stop right away and hold you until we figure out what went wrong.”

“Yes, daddy, because you love me.” He knows that, of course, but it’s the first time love has been said aloud, and it makes him wonder if he does. If he should. How he’ll know.

“Yes baby, I love you, but even if we weren’t in love, I respect you, and I care about you, and it's the right thing to do: that’s why we stop when you say enough.” Spencer thinks maybe that was a roundabout way of easing his mind, of saying it’s okay if he doesn’t love them, yet.

He’s suddenly a little more jealous of Sophie. He kind of wants Aaron for a daddy. He has a way of always saying just the right thing. “Good girl, being fucked so hard by daddy,” Spencer murmurs, holding Sophie against Aaron while he pounds inside her. Her fingers are fisted in the sheets, but there is no pain, only pleasure as she moves her hips quickly back and forth, her breathing hard. “Perfect, beautiful girl.”

“Thank you, daddy,” she breathes, her clit sliding up and down the length of Spencer’s cock while she bucks back against Aaron’s. “Thank you daddies for helping me come, and get full of daddy’s come.”

“You’re welcome, sweet girl,” Aaron pants into her ear. She’s so fucking good at this. “Your daddies love getting you off. You’re so pretty when you beg and whine and moan.”

“So pretty,” Spencer agrees, pressing harder against her thighs, and she whimpers, her legs shaking. “Everything okay, baby?”

“Yes, I just… it feels so good. What if I need to come twice? Am I allowed?” Aaron nips at her ear, starts fucking faster.

“Yes baby, come now. Come for your daddies right now.” Spencer sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, looking dazed and a little curious, like he’s not sure that will actually work. Aaron isn’t sure either.

Sophie does come, groaning, short, surprised sounds of pleasure, rubbing against Spencer’s half-hard cock just like his thigh earlier, and yeah, that’s his perfect, obedient girl. He grins.

“Good girl.” His words are full of pride, and he pulls her hair to the side, kisses her shoulder. “We’ve been practicing that, haven’t we sweetheart? It’s only happened one other time.”

“Yes daddy,” she mumbles, head down as he fucks her. “Thank you daddy.”

“Oh, you’re welcome, baby girl. You earned that. So good for us.” He grunts, gets close—her body's obedience drives him insane—and he presses up from his hands and knees to just his knees, puts his hands on her hips and works her hard with, short, quick thrusts.

“Oh, oh, daddy, yes, please.” She arches her back, fucks against him even though their hands are stronger, doing it better. “Daddies, oh, fuck. Your baby girl is being used so good, so close to being filled up.” Her voice is weak, and high, and Spencer looks up at him like he’s worried, but he just shakes his head. She gets like this, she can handle it.

“Yes baby, you’re being used by your daddies because that’s what we do. We fuck your tight pussy and your mouth and your ass, and you just take it, baby.” Sophie moans, loud and wanton, and he’s so close to losing it, and Spencer, gorgeous, perfect Spencer, presses two long fingers into her mouth.

Aaron is careful not to make any jerky movements, and she sucks on the fingers, whines around them, and when he comes, clutching her hips tight, she moans high, loud, lets the fingers fall out of her mouth; the final sound she makes is a cry, and he can’t tell if it’s pleasure or overstimulation.

“Have you had enough?” he asks her as he grinds against her, and she shakes in their hands, comes again. Her legs have given up, and she’s flat against Spencer, who looks like he just witnessed something incredible. Aaron figures he did.

“Enough, daddy,” she sighs, and he pulls out, watches his come drip out of her and onto Spencer’s balls. It’s a visual he’s going to have to reflect on later, to see if he can plan for it again in the future.

“You did so amazing,” he coos into her ear, running his hands up and down her back. Spencer is doing the same, and though it’s clear they’re losing her, she hums at their touches. “So perfect for us. We couldn’t ask for a better girl.”

“You’re so good, baby. So good for your daddies,” Spencer murmurs, and he looks over at Aaron. “I think she needs some water. I don’t want to move her.” Aaron smiles, kisses his lips.

“That’s part of aftercare for Sophie. I’ll get her some and then I’ll tell you all about it,” he promises.

On his way back from getting the water, he gets a warm, wet washcloth from the bathroom, wipes at her pussy while Spencer presses the cup to her lips. When she’s had a few sips, looks a bit livelier, he gets her to roll over onto the bed on her back, cleans up the front of her.

“Sophie likes to be held, and gently cleaned up—sometimes she wants a bath or shower, and she’ll say that. I usually do it all, wash her body, her face, her hair. It makes her feel more human after. She’ll just sag against you and let you scrub her. It’s very cute. Then I will ask if she needs more cuddles, or food, or sleep, or something else. As you know, she’s not shy about asking for what she wants.” Spencer nods, taking it in.

“What can we do for you, baby girl?” he asks, wrapping his arm around her; her eyes are closed, and her breathing is returning to normal. She sighs.

“I want to lay between my daddies and be cuddled. Am I clean enough?”

“You have to go pee first, but yes, I think you’ll be fine until morning. Then we can all take a nice hot shower and get you soapy and fresh, and figure out our plans for tomorrow.” She smiles softly.

“I forgot we get Spencer all weekend. If I didn’t scare him off,” she adds, and Spencer pulls her close, kisses her gently, but very affectionately.

“You didn’t scare me off, needy little thing. I can see why your daddy thought you needed another one, though. You are a handful.”

“She is a handful,” Aaron agrees, leaning in to kiss them both, “and you haven’t even seen her being bratty, needing to be disciplined.” Sophie groans, tired, probably figures he’ll want that tomorrow. He’s not sure yet, honestly. “But even then, she’s pretty fucking perfect. Just like you.” When Spencer looks at him, he thinks he sees a flicker of love, but it could just be the orgasm talking. Either way, he looks forward to holding the both of them, and a night of extremely restful sleep.

[twdeadfanfic]

Bonded to you Pt.8

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Chapter: 8/17

Words: 2949

Updated on Mondays

Summary:  Daryl and reader had a something while they both stayed at the Sanctuary after the Saviours were defeated, a secret sort of relationship, that reader wanted to make something more. However, after Rick blows the bridge, Daryl leaves her without a word, unaware of her being pregnant with his child and it’s not after almost two years that Daryl finds out he has a child…and his anger at reader for not having told him before, rivals with reader’s anger at having being tossed aside as nothing by him those to years ago...will they be able to put aside their hurt feelings and resenment, for their kid? Will maybe be able to pick up their relationship again?

Dad Daryl, cute fluffy baby-toddler moments, angsty/awkward reader relationship.

You can find more chapters and  Daryl fics in my masterlist.

Last chapter, Daryl and reader went with their kid to the beach at Oceanside were reader used to leave, spending a couple of awkward days as a “family”, and Daryl voiced to reader his concerns about his daughter not understanding that he is her father, since he’d been missing from her life.

As Daryl had assured you, you three reached Alexandria before the sun went down. You had agreed with Daryl on meeting the next afternoon to take Naia to the park together, and so when you heard a knock on the door, you knew it was him. “Hey,” you greeted as you both looked down awkwardly, and Daryl followed you to the living-room where Naia was playing.

“Look, Naia, Daryl’s here.” The little girl was already grinning and waving at Daryl. “I mean…dad’s here.” You had assured Daryl that Naia would just know that he was her father, and so you had decided to start trying to call him dad to her. Naia looked at you and then at Daryl, and you weren’t sure she understood what you meant. “Yes, dad’s coming with us to the park.” You tried again when Naia pointed at Daryl, and she blinked at him.

“Dadyl.”

Well. Not what you were expecting, at all. Yeah, you guessed the name Daryl was close to Dadyl, and Naia heard people calling him Daryl everywhere, yourself too… You almost snorted hearing her babbling that, though, couldn’t help it, but you didn’t when you looked at Daryl. He seemed so lost, like he didn’t know what to do.

“Okay let’s…let’s go to the park,” you chimed in, trying not to make a big deal.

“Yeah…yeah, come on sweetheart,” Daryl finally spoke, though his smile seemed sad. “I can be Dadyl, why not…”

“Wanna hold dad’s hand while we walk?” You tried again, feeling lost, kind of silly, and a bit guilty, all at the same time. Naia just nodded, stumbling towards Daryl, who reached down to hold her hand, and at least that had him smiling a bit more.

Once in the park, Gracie was there with Aaron, and Naia smiled and pointed at them, and so you three made your way to them.

“Hi there,” Aaron greeted, smiling, when you three sat down next to him and Gracie. “How was Oceanside.”

“It was great! We had a lot of fun at the beach, yeah?” You said and Naia smiled when she heard the word beach, though she was distracted with a pony toy that Gracie had shown her. That was another good thing of Alexandria, people seemed to have a stash of some toys, somehow.

“And you got a beautiful necklace, Naia!” Aaron said, and Naia looked at him, when she heard her name. “Pretty,” Aaron repeated, pointing at the necklace, and that time Naia got it, grinning and nodding, and she pointed at Daryl. “Oh, Daryl made it?”

“Yeah, Naia got a pretty skillful dad.” You peeked at Daryl, who wasn’t saying anything, seeming awkward.

“Dadyl,” Naia babbled, looking at him.

You heard Aaron snort at it. He seemed a bit puzzled, and you wanted the earth to swallow you, though probably not as much as you guessed Daryl wanted it, but he was still silent. Naia gave Gracie the pony back and crawled towards Daryl, tugging at his sleeve.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Daryl asked softly, and at least Naia got him smiling a bit again. She pointed at the slide. “You wanna go to the slide, okay, come on.” He got up, helping Naia onto her feet, and held her hand.

“Me,” Gracie said, stumbling onto her feet, and Daryl looked at Aaron to see if it was okay, holding Gracie’s hand too when he nodded, helping them walk to the slide.

Aaron got up to go with them and you rushed onto your feet, tugging at his arm, hoping to talk with him without Daryl noticing now that he was hands full with the two little girls.

“Wait, wait, can we speak?” You asked quietly.

“Sure…” Aaron frowned at you, confused.

“Could you…could you talk with Daryl…”

“About what?” Aaron just seemed more confused.

“You’re his friend and you’re a father too, and…well, Daryl’s worried thinking that Naia’s not going to think of him as her father because she didn’t meet him until now. I’m trying to get her to call him dad, but all I got was…that,” you began to explain. “But I think she’s going to know either way, she’s not going to remember when he wasn’t with her, she’ll just know…right?”

“I guess…” Aaron still seemed confused, but he gave you a kind smile.

“So if you could…talk to Daryl about it…maybe…” You chewed on your lip.

“Okay, okay, I can try…I’m not sure I have something helpful to say or that he will listen…but…” Aaron shrugged, smiling, even if he seemed a bit as lost as you felt. “I’ll try.”

“Thank you, Aaron, really…I’m kind of lost in this area…”

Aaron just clapped your shoulder softly. “You’re doing good, and I always knew Daryl’d be a great dad.”

“Yeah, yeah, he is.”

*

Later, you asked Daryl to walk with you and Naia back to your place, and then left them reading on the living room while you made some quick dinner, coming back when you finished.

“Alright sweetheart, your dinner is ready,” you said and Naia looked at you and smiled. “Say goodbye to dad,” you tried again, still a bit awkwardly, waving at Daryl to catch Naia’s attention, and she imitated you, waving to Daryl too. “Say, bye dad. Bye dad.”

“Bye dad,” she babbled and you couldn’t believe it, stopping in place and grinning. You looked at Daryl, but he wasn’t looking as happy as you thought he might.

“Bye, sweetheart,” he said with a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Daryl reached out and you knew he wanted to maybe hold her, but it seemed as if he didn’t dare, he still seemed hesitant with her sometimes, and so he just stroked her hair softly, and his smile went a bit bigger when Naia smiled at him.

“Darling, I’ll be back in a minute, okay?” You said to Naia as you followed Daryl outside. “Hey! I told you she’d get it!” You were still grinning, though your smile faltered, you didn’t know why he didn’t look happy.

“She doesn’t.”

“But…but…” you stumbled, confused. “But she just said it.”

“She just repeats what you say, Y/N.” Daryl shrugged. “Doesn’t mean she gets it.”

“No…no, she does! She will! She said that, and she knows what’s a dad, so…” Or at least you thought so.

“Guess when she’s older and can understand it, I can just explain it to her, or something…” Daryl muttered.

“No, I’m telling you, she’ll get it before that,” you insisted, stubborn, but you were honestly sure of it. You honestly didn’t think this was such a big deal as Daryl seemed to think, but you understood him and didn’t want to dismiss his feelings. “When she thinks back to you, she’s going to always think of you as her dad, she’s still a baby.”

“Maybe it’s better this way,” Daryl muttered and you looked at him, puzzled.

“What?”

“Me as a dad…” Daryl shook his head, scoffing.

“What you mean?” You frowned. “You are a great dad.” Daryl arched an eyebrow at you at that. “Seriously, Daryl, you are. You’re great with kids and Naia adores you, and you’re a really good dad.”

“Never thought I’d be a dad at all.” He muttered.

“Yeah, well…was a surprise for me too, let me tell you…” You chuckled sadly. “But you aren’t backing out from it now, not now that Naia’s so fond of you…not that you could, she has you all wrapped around her finger already.” You joked awkwardly.

“I would never leave her.”

“I know.” You nodded, if there was one thing true in the world, it was that.

“Just…I just wish…if you hadn’t left…”

“Yeah, but I left.” Your sadness and guilt made you snap. You knew that Daryl was just worried, that he was struggling to find his way in this sudden fatherhood situation he had found himself in, but you had also had to struggle and find your way alone in the sudden motherhood situation you had found yourself in. “And you left, too.”

“I didn’t know you were carrying her!” He snapped too and you took a deep breath, trying to control your emotions.

“Can we…We’ve been weeks without fighting…can we please go back to that?” You let out a sigh. You didn’t think you could go back to the fighting and yelling, and Daryl and you just went in circles about the same thing every time, you were never going to solve it, there was no solution, and Naia was better off when you two weren’t fighting and were in an awkward, coexisting situation.

“Yeah…I’m sorry.” Daryl seemed defeated too.

“I’m sorry too… We’ll see you tomorrow at the park, okay?”

“Sure.”

That night, you took Naia with you to the bed, instead of hers, as you did every night. You didn’t know who liked it more, you or her. “You had fun today?” You asked once you were both tucked in. “Gracie is really nice, yes?” Naia nodded, smiling to you.

“And her dad, Aaron, he’s nice too, he’s a good friend of mine,” you kept speaking while Naia looked at you. “Aaron is Gracie’s dad right? Like that bunny is the dad of this one.” You pointed at the book that Naia had brought to bed, the one she’d been looking at with Daryl while you made dinner. Naia nodded, and you weren’t really sure she understood, but you hoped so. “And like Daryl is your dad.”

“Dadyl…” Naia babbled softly and you let out a sigh, you didn’t know if you were making progress or not, you still thought Naia was going to see Daryl as her father either way, but you wanted her to call him dad and ease Daryl’s mind about it.

“Your dad loves you very much,” you whispered, kissing her forehead before placing the book on the nightstand table and curling up to sleep. Naia didn’t say anything, just smiled and snuggled to you. “And I love you very much too.”

“Love you,” Naia babbled back in her own way, as she always did, and no matter what, it always made you smile.

*

The next day at the park, Michonne was there with Judith and RJ, and Naia nodded them to play, painting for a bit and then taking turns in the slide and whirl.

When it was time to go back home, you asked Daryl once again to walk with Naia and you, and he nodded. You had just stepped out of the park when Naia reached out her arms for you. “Are you tired? You asked. “You want me to pick you up?” She nodded and so you scooted her up into your arms. You glanced at Daryl and chewed on your lip before speaking again. “What if dad holds you, would that be okay?”

Naia nodded and so you carefully passed her to Daryl. “Hey, sweetheart,” he said softly, smiling down at her, and Naia grinned, getting comfortable in his arms. They were so cute, you felt another dart in your heart, and you stopped looking at them, walking purposely back home.

Once there, Daryl went to leave Naia down on the carpet of the living room, next to a stack of books so she could choose which one she wanted to read, but before lowering her, he kissed the top of her head, making Naia giggle and grin at him. The image of them and the way in which Daryl was looking at Naia made your heart hurt again, and so you rushed to the kitchen, leaving them alone while you made dinner.

*

You kept going with that routine. You spent your mornings helping on the orchard, and after lunch Naia and you went to the park. Sometimes Daryl met you both there, others he’d go pick you up before you left, and then, when it was time to go back home, he’d walk with Naia and you, and you’d leave them playing or reading until it was time for Naia and you to dine, and Daryl left.

You didn’t know if Aaron had spoken with Daryl or not, but Daryl didn’t bring up the issue of Naia not understanding that he was her father again, and you knew Aaron and Daryl were friends, they were always together at the park doting on their little girls, and Daryl seemed more at ease when Aaron was there, as if he helped him to ease his way into this new fatherhood situation.

You were a bit jealous, wishing you had something like that, a friend to rely on and someone to guide you in this motherhood thing, but you had had the help of all the women on Oceanside both before and after Naia was born, while Daryl hadn’t and had found himself with a toddler all of a sudden. You had Noemi, who was friendly to you and who you hoped to build a friendship with, but it wasn’t the same than what Daryl had either with Michonne or Aaron.

Even if Daryl didn’t say anything else about it, you kept calling Daryl dad when talking to Naia, and she repeated it when you told her to say “hi dad” or anything like that, and you were still sure you didn’t need to do anything special for Naia to know who Daryl was, but it took about two weeks for her to call him dad by herself, without you saying anything.

You were at the porch, knelt down in front of her as you tied her boots, ready to leave for the park, when you heard her voice, calling happily for Daryl.

“Dad!”          

Your fingers froze on her shoe ties for a second when you heard her, surprised, before you looked back and saw Daryl there. He seemed surprised too, wide-eyed as he looked at Naia, frozen in place too. Naia seemed confused as to why you both were like that. She looked at you and pointed at Daryl.

“Yes, honey, dad is here!” You said. You looked at Daryl again, noticing the emotion in his eyes, and he swallowed hard before kicking into motion.

“Hi, sweetheart, are you okay?” Daryl asked and Naia nodded, grinning. You got up, finishing with the boot and giving them space. “Can I hold you?” he asked softly and when Naia nodded, Daryl reached to carefully pick her up and Naia giggled, holding onto him.

You looked away from them, both to try to ease the pain in your heart that you felt when you looked at them together, and also so Daryl couldn’t realize that you had noticed the emotion in his eyes as he almost seemed about to cry, not wanting him to be embarrassed. “Alright, let’s go to the park,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant, as you lead the way.

Later that day, when you finished dinner, you stood at the threshold of the door in silence so Daryl and Naia wouldn’t notice you while they read. You did that sometimes, watching them interact, seeing how day by day they seemed more familiar, how Daryl slowly loosened up around her, seeming less and less unsure and hesitant around her and more at ease, and how Naia enjoyed their time together and the way in which Daryl was with her, everyone could see he adored her.

It was good, you knew, and some part of you felt warm and content looking at them, but it also hurt, it was like seeing the image of what maybe you could have had, if things between Daryl and you had been different, and what you never had.

“Time for dinner,” you announced, taking Naia and Daryl from their bubble as you looked at them. “Say bye-bye to dad.”

“Bye, dad.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow, sweetheart.” Daryl leaned to kiss Naia’s forehead and she giggled. “I love you,” he told her softly.

“Love you,” Naia babbled back, grinning. Daryl kept smiling at her, but you noticed the emotion going through him as Naia said that, his eyes getting wet, and so you looked somewhere else in case he might feel embarrassed. You heard Naia giggling and you guessed Daryl had kissed her or hugged her again, and then you heard him walking to the door.

“Y/N,” he called for you. “Can we speak?”

“Sure…” You frowned, confused, but followed Daryl outside. “There’s something wrong?”

“No, uh…” Daryl looked down, fidgeting. “Thank you.”

“For what?” You blinked, surprised.

“I know you’ve been trying hard to get Naia to call me dad and all that…” He murmured.

“Not that hard, I told you she’d understand it.” You shrugged, you hadn’t expected a thank you. You had just done what you thought you should, no matter what might be going on between Daryl and you, he was Naia’s father and he loved her. With the way he was with Naia, you felt you wanted help him to find his way around parenthood, and to build his relationship with Naia…but looking at them, it didn’t seem like they needed your help for that.

“I meant what I sad that day, you’re a great dad,” you told him and Daryl scoffed. “Seriously. Up to Aaron’s level.”

The corner of Daryl’s lip curled up into a small smile at that, though he didn’t look at you. “You raised her good,” he said quietly, taking you by surprise. “She’s great.”

“She is,” you nodded. “Sometimes I wonder if she’s too good and sweet for this world, but I love that she is…”

“Nah, she’s perfect,” Daryl said and a warm smile spread across your face. “I’ll see you both tomorrow,” he said as he turned to walk away.

“Bye.”

*

Yes, this chapter was absolute and pure fluffy fluff. This is the fic that made my mobile autocorrect change Daryl for Dadyl, and this chapter is dedicated to it. I thought you didn’t find it too silly!

There was progress in Daryl’s and Naia relationship, and also between him and reader...right?

If you liked this and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts. Thanks to everyone who comment, like and reblog, your support really means the world to me!!

As always, excuse my english, it’s not my first language.

Someone else is going to meet Naia next chapter.

A lot of tags are not working and also even if they work a lot of people don’t get notified, so, I always update on monday, maybe check my blog if you don’t get notified because tags didn’t work? Thanks!

If you want to be (un)tagged let me know.

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[felassan]

Thoughts on Dark Fortress #2

(This post is under a cut due to spoilers.)

So late with this one! some stuff irl was keeping me really busy and hyper-distracting me lately, but it’s finally over now so I’m back on my bioware bullshit. :D

Overall there were a lot of beautiful or awe-inspiring scenes in this issue, and a lot of great, meaningful / poignant character interactions and moments between characters. It’s pretty impressive actually how much was able to be packed in. I posted some of my favorite panels here. also omg! the action sequences! the big reveal! the ending!! woww

cool scene-setting, panned out shot of Neromenian and behind it, the Dark Fortress, to immediately pull you back into the world and ‘where we left off’. the combination of ruined dead trees, red lights, lightning and fire/smoke is very atmospheric and hints at what’s ahead

“From this... city, if we can call it that” is a sick burn and reminds you that the Qunari are technologically more advanced than most of the rest of Thedas, from their cannons to their aqueducts

more individually distinct Qunari soldiers, sth I again appreciate

! last issue there were big ‘You haven’t seen the last of Tractus!’ vibes, naturally, but I didn’t expect him to escape by stabbing and killing the Qunari using a chair-leg..!!

the last panel on the first page of Karasten is really good. the way it’s colored, the way it’s lit, the light and shadow, the fiery backdrop, cinders floating, the details of his expression.. 👌 it also makes me think to the possible future, to DA4 when mainland Thedas may be continuing to face the entirety of the Antaam

in Vaea’s acrobatics scene on the bridge, I know rationally that she’ll be fine but couldn’t help but worry for her. again I like how they don’t shy away from showcasing Vaea’s specific abilities. also the attention to detail - you’d think some rocks are just some rocks, but it highlights the risk she’s undertaking that if she falls it’s into rough seas which could dash her against the jagged rocks :’S. Vaea, gooooo!

Fenris’ “Enterprising girl” line has big “Clever girl” meme energy :D

my heart can’t take Fran and Autumn leaning over the edge after Vaea in worry ;; or Aaron looking back in concern over his shoulder ;; or Fran’s tender reassurance ;; or Autumn’s Worried expression ;; the care and bonds which have grown between this group of characters ;;

notice Aaron starts drinking when Vaea’s away from them and they’re beginning to grow worried about her safety. the poor man’s nerves and stress levels

Fran touching the vegetation while she’s considering if she could use her magic to open the entrance from the outside is a nice touch

did Marius leap in front of Fenris and Fran there when the entrance opened?? damn, he’s quick. and the three of them look all scary and formidable here ready for combat. notice how the curve of the door and the spikes that go into the ground, and the composition of this panel, make it look like they’re standing in front of an opened dragon’s maw? ‘teeth’, a rumbling ‘roar’.. some nice foreshadowing here.

the reunion panels are so cute. Autumn’s lil tum as she jumps and Fran and Fenris’ lil smiles of relief and at Autumn’s reaction to seeing Vaea, then a rare happy beam from Aaron.. feel.. the love ;__;

red lighting in the tunnel sets a dangerous, dramatic build-up mood

👀 more info on Fenris’ past, on the specifics of the process which gave him his markings. in the panel where he says that it took a long time, his shadow on the wall behind him reminds me of the shadow of his past that has dogged him for so long :(

Fenris and Marius height difference

discussion of the process shows the power difference between blue and red lyrium. blue lyrium took a long time, red lyrium is almost instant

Autumn is such an intrepid little explorer and alert scout, tail and ears up, head forward. good girl!

“I just... worry about you, my girl”  ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚  I’ll be so sad if these are death flags for Aaron and he doesn’t make it out of here. also note Fran in this panel, who recently had to kill her own father and is still dealing with that, watching the strongly paternal moment between Aaron and Vaea :(

love Vaea’s faith in Aaron and her sense of humor. also I don’t know why, maybe it’s because Vaea met Sebastian, but her “Maker, no!”, although in a completely different and light-hearted context, reminds me of Sebastian’s “Maker nooo!” at the end of DA2 hh

the reference again to Hawke, who Fenris saw haunted by what they tried to do - save their mother - and couldn’t :’(. also with the shadow in this panel, here’s another person struggling with the shadow of his past qq. this is later emphasized again in Aaron when he continues to talk about his past and in the panel is a chain and manacle. smart visual metaphors, a must in the comic medium with limited space

mushroom skull 💀🍄

“It isn’t about what I’ve done. It isn’t about my failures. Or my choices. It’s about their impact” - he’s misty-eyed here as he thinks back to Ostagar.. does this line btw seem almost meta to anyone else btw? :D it feels like a meta reference to the experience of DA players and PCs, who are always having to deal with the impacts of their choices

I wanna point out that I was right on reading issue #1, when I said “I’m positive that in panel 2 here, it’s the exact moment when he sees Cailan die” ;;

So Aaron is also a veteran of the Battle of Denerim

reference to the Hero of Ferelden - “Those were someone else’s battles”. I’m being captain obvious here but I can’t help but [heart pitter-patter] at any and all references to the HoF

I like the.. parallel? is that the word? Aaron’s stories were him trying to inspire people to make a change, or him trying to convince himself of that. and now here’s Vaea, inspiring Aaron with her words in these panels. the little guys can make a difference! in the world of Thedas, you don’t need to be a big bombastic hero or a Player Character to have an impact 

lmao Fenris right on cue. the moments of humor/light-heartedness are nice because they break up the tension and are sprinkled throughout without derailing build-up or taking away from dramatic story impact. yknow?

yeah Aaron!! leave it behind. leave it to rot with mr mushroom skull (and hey the mushroom skull was there for a reason). again tho if this is a death flag i 

Fenris straight down to business with the tactics

its cute how close Autumn has been sticking to Fran

Tessa checking in on Fran again, as she did in issue 1

Could Vaea’s “Well, shit” be an homage to Varric? :D they have met

I also wanna point out that I was right on reading issue #1, when I said “My guess is that the thing Tractus shows Marquette and Nenealeus is probably a chained up dragon or similar”

the poor dragon :’( big dragon the Qunari had in Trespasser vibes

the sword has a really cool design, kind of reminds me of something a samurai might be depicted wielding

👀 lore-drop! so ancient elven arcane warriors used lyrium-infused swords. this seems to confirm the sarcophagus is an ancient elven artifact, no? makes sense, wasn’t it said that the sarcophagus’ design was based on the architecture/outfit-design type elements of a specific faction, and that this was done intentionally? it looks kinda ancient elfy in make, right? also about the lyrium-infused swords of the arcane warriors, well well well.. remember that the Evanuris and the ancient elves mined the bodies of Titans for lyrium, for power and to use as a resource. here’s an example of that use

as I read through this portion I became increasingly concerned for my boy Shirallas.. we really are in it now aren’t we 😭

the Qunari are launching STRAIGHT-UP ROCKETS ohhhh

pretty ‘lightshow’ over the wall in the “Let’s hope the fortress is as secure as Danarius boasted” panel hh

protective older brother Fenris, impish younger sister Vaea. love that dynamic, we love to see it. sheepish and exasperated Fenris is so cute

the Bone Pit dragon fight with Hawke and co reference!

I wonder how long the dragon has been captive here, and how Danarius/Tractus was able to capture it

lore-wise what are the implications here? when Fenris’ ritual was being undertaken, the sword and the sarcophagus were bombarded with magic, fire spells. in this one they aim to have the dragon bombard it with fire-breathing. is it just fire that makes it work/powers it, or is there magic in dragonfire, in dragons? it reminds me of “Your heart beats with the old blood, as well. Where do you think it comes from? It sings of a time when dragons ruled the skies. A time before the Veil, before the mysteries were forgotten. Can you hear it?”

purple color for the dragon’s growling sounds/typeset is a great idea

lets.. goooo!!!!

Marquette is such a nerd. later on when he activates the sarcophagus he has mad scientist vibes

the dramatic reunion face-offs begin!! as the prophecy foretold!!!!1

true to form, Marius DOES have nothing to say ahahaha, even at this, his personal climax. maybe Marius dies in the next issue, but Tessa lives and gets to go back to Charter

these Venatori look almost Star Wars

Shirallas my boyy.. nooo... don’t do it 😭

ah ah ah! try casting magic with no ARMS

Francesca a beacon of blue light and goodness

the splash combat page is masterful. everyone playing a part, so much going on, everything happening at once. a thing that sticks out to me about it is Aaron’s outstretched hand and alarm as he watches Fran fall 

Autumn with her lil hackles raised

“The Venatori have returned” dun dun dunn

goodbye Shirallas 😭😭😭

the composition of the second to last page with triangle/diamond-shaped panels and the framing of dragon wings is awesome

the Dread Wolf rises, “the Tevinter Imperium will rise again”.. on-point on-point cohesion

there he is, the red wraith

Super Saiyan Shirallas

what a note to end an issue on

wow wow wow!!

and separate to the above, some speculation based on the cover of Issue 3: the piece of metal looks like a broken collar coming off Shirallas, like the one there was on the cover of Issue 2 coming off the dragon. also he’s all bulky now with draconic talons/claws (reminds me of in-world legends of Reavers who dug too deep of their own power after drinking dragon blood and whose bodies consequently began to manifest subtle reptilian traits actually). I’ll be interested to see what results of this allusion between Shirallas and the dragon!!

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the April 2021 Edition

I did not read Romeo and Juliet this month. I read a bunch of other books. Like, a bunch. More than one series. Because Big Bang burnout is real and grown adults missing their deadlines is a real good way to stress me out. So, I read a bunch. Good books, very bad books, books that caused limbs to flail. For positive and not-so-positive reasons. Naturally, all those reasons must be shared. Under the cut with occasionally long and rant-prone reviews, as well as spoilers. Beware of spoilers under the cut. Please keep telling me what to read, internet. My library wish list is almost comically long now.

GIVE ME ALL THE WORLD BUILDING AND SNARK AND FIGHTING! WITH MAGIC! AND SWORDS! IT’S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Shades of Magic Series by V.E. Schwab

Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black. After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

— Picture it, approximately twelve forty-seven am. My husband is asleep. I am reading. The second book in this series ends. And I say, right out loud, at what might now be twelve forty-eight am, HOLY SHIT IT JUST ENDED. Justin thought we were under attack. No man has ever snapped awake quicker. He was not pleased. At least not in the same way that I was about these books. Which I goddamn LOVED. Loved. The world building. The magic. The banter. Rhy and Kell’s relationship. Once more. RHY AND KELL’S RELATIONSHIP. Which I might have cared about more than the romance??? Maybe??? I cannot get over how good this world building was. I know people have quips with it, and that’s fair. I saw the “twist” coming in the first book, and I think trying to preserve that left some plot holes that are understandably frustrating. Because Lilah definitely needed depth perception to fight as well as she did. Also did Schwab really refer to her as a cross dresser in her author’s note? Yikes. She wore a dude’s jacket, like—c’mon V.E. Other than that though. I loved it. Also shout out to @peglegsjones for suggesting this one in my 2020 post and call out to me for taking so long to read it.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can't pull it off alone. . . . A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith. A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums.  A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.   Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz's crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don't kill each other first.

— I’ve talked about how little I cared about anything that happened in Shadow and Bone before, but I kept seeing gifs of the Crows in the Netflix show and my brain was like: huh, I could like them. So, after some help from the very helpful internet, I’m happy to report I do in fact like them. At one point, I slunk into the couch. Like that’s how overcome with emotion I was. Kaz ripped a dude’s eye out! For Inej! Matthias loved Nina’s laugh! I would like to hug Jesper. Seriously, this hit all my high points and world building and banter and I lol’ed at “scheming face.” I would like my hold to come through faster on the sequel.

THEY DID NOT CALL INTERMISSION HALFTIME AND MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE WAS WAY DIFFERENT THAN THESE KIDS

The Off Campus Series by Elle Kennedy

Hannah Wells has finally found someone who turns her on. But while she might be confident in every other area of her life, she’s carting around a full set of baggage when it comes to sex and seduction. If she wants to get her crush’s attention, she’ll have to step out of her comfort zone and make him take notice…even if it means tutoring the annoying, childish, cocky captain of the hockey team in exchange for a pretend date. All Garrett Graham has ever wanted is to play professional hockey after graduation, but his plummeting GPA is threatening everything he’s worked so hard for. If helping a sarcastic brunette make another guy jealous will help him secure his position on the team, he’s all for it. But when one unexpected kiss leads to the wildest sex of both their lives, it doesn’t take long for Garrett to realize that pretend isn’t going to cut it. Now he just has to convince Hannah that the man she wants looks a lot like him.

— The first book in this series was free on Amazon. So, I read it. And really liked it??? It was so chock full of cliches and badly written tropes and Garrett probably should have accepted that Hannah didn’t want to go out at the start, but like—he was cute? And as we all know I am TRASH™ for stories set in the same verse, so, like, I just kept reading these trashy college hockey books. Trashy is a compliment here. God, these kids had so much sex. So much. An incredible amount, really. I once had a guy tell me he was physically attracted to me, but not emotionally attracted to me in college. Like, that was my college experience. The first and second books were the best, I think. I didn’t really like Dean that much.

MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A RABBI???

The Intimacy Experiement by Rosie Danan

Naomi Grant has built her life around going against the grain. After the sex-positive start-up she cofounded becomes an international sensation, she wants to extend her educational platform to live lecturing. Unfortunately, despite her long list of qualifications, higher ed won't hire her. Ethan Cohen has recently received two honors: LA Mag nominated him as one of the city's hottest bachelors and he became rabbi of his own synagogue. Low on both funds and congregants, the executive board of Ethan's new shul hired him with the hopes that his nontraditional background will attract more millennials to the faith. They've given him three months to turn things around or else they'll close the doors of his synagogue for good. Naomi and Ethan join forces to host a buzzy seminar series on Modern Intimacy, the perfect solution to their problems--until they discover a new one--their growing attraction to each other. They've built the syllabus for love's latest experiment, but neither of them expected they'd be the ones putting it to the test.

— Ok, I know that sounds bad. Again, I’m a creature of predictable habit and this was the sequel to The Roommate, which I absolutely LOVED last year. But where as the relationship in that one was kind of swoony, this one was...I don’t know, really. Everyone was a well-rounded character and the plot was good, but there was this semi-invisible something that made it difficult for me to get fully on board with the whole story. Honestly, it might be because he was a religious figure?? Also, they got together real quick. Like zero to sixty in twenty-six seconds flat.

I KNOW IT’S BAD, IT WAS BAD AND YET—I CANNOT STOP READING IT???

Too Wild to Tame by Tessa Bailey

Sometimes you just can't resist playing with fire . . . By day, Aaron Clarkson suits up, shakes hands, and acts the perfect gentleman. But at night, behind bedroom doors, the tie comes off and the real Aaron comes out to play. Mixing business with pleasure got him fired, so Aaron knows that if he wants to work for the country's most powerful senator, he'll have to keep his eye on the prize. That's easier said than done when he meets the senator's daughter, who's wild, gorgeous, and 100 percent trouble. Grace Pendleton is the black sheep of her conservative family. Yet while Aaron's presence reminds her of a past she'd rather forget, something in his eyes keeps drawing her in. Maybe it's the way his voice turns her molten. Or maybe it's because deep down inside, the ultra-smooth, polished Aaron Clarkson might be more than even Grace can handle . . .

— Last month I read the first book in this series and it was absolutely ridiculous. This one even more so. The Clarksons are still on the road trip (sans one sibling because she fell in love in a week in the first book) and Aaron was, like, not a root’able character? Very Edward Cullen I’M A BAD GUY, BELLA vibes and his relationship with Grace was so strange. Super rushed again, obvs. Meeting in the woods is weird enough. Professing love forty-eight hours later is decidedly unbelievable. Also there was a kidnapping involved? I totally put a hold on the next book in the series.

COME UP WITH DIFFERENT TRAUMA, I DARE YOU! OR NO TRAUMA. WHAT A CONCEPT!!

The Trouble With Hating You by Sajni Patel

Liya Thakkar is a successful biochemical engineer, takeout enthusiast, and happily single woman. The moment she realizes her parents' latest dinner party is a setup with the man they want her to marry, she's out the back door in a flash. Imagine her surprise when the same guy shows up at her office a week later -- the new lawyer hired to save her struggling company. What's not surprising: he's not too thrilled to see her either after that humiliating fiasco.

Jay Shah looks good on paper...and off. Especially if you like that whole gorgeous, charming lawyer-in-a-good-suit thing. He's also infuriating. As their witty office banter turns into late-night chats, Liya starts to think he might be the one man who truly accepts her. But falling for each other means exposing their painful pasts. Will Liya keep running, or will she finally give love a real chance?

— I had such high hopes for this one. Which is on me, I guess. Because I didn’t hate this one, but it was...not great. Maybe I’m just getting old and crotchety but I am BEGGING romance writers to come up with different trauma for their female protagonists. Not every woman has to have been assaulted to rationalize their current personality. Doesn’t have to happen. Like, ok, yes it does happen. Far more than it should. But that’s an entirely different story, and I am so tired of female characters getting absolutely destroyed by their past only to have that be their defining characteristic for so much of the book. Until a nice man they were initially mean to shows up and he’s UNDERSTANDING and he CARES and it’s just, bleh. It’s bleh. Tired and predictable and I’m over it.

IN WHICH I SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AT THE COVER

Much Ado About You by Samantha Young

At thirty-three-years old Evangeline Starling’s life in Chicago is missing that special something. And when she’s passed over for promotion at work, Evie realizes she needs to make a change. Some time away to regain perspective might be just the thing. In a burst of impulsivity, she plans a holiday in a quaint English village. The holiday package comes with a temporary position at Much Ado About Books, the bookstore located beneath her rental apartment. There’s no better dream vacation for the bookish Evie, a life-long Shakespeare lover. Not only is Evie swept up in running the delightful store as soon as she arrives, she’s drawn into the lives, loves and drama of the friendly villagers. Including Roane Robson, the charismatic and sexy farmer who tempts Evie every day with his friendly flirtations. Evie is determined to keep him at bay because a holiday romance can only end in heartbreak, right? But Evie can’t deny their connection and longs to trust in her handsome farmer that their whirlwind romance could turn in to the forever kind of love.

— Ok, so I had had this book on hold for so long that I genuinely forgot about it and forgot who it was written by. Samantha Young wrote that one book that I called the worst book I had ever read. Only I did not realize that when I started reading this one. So, you see how this sets us up for disaster. Because this book was a disaster. Everyone was goddamn annoying. And whiny. Shit, everyone whined. About everything. Also, the actual writing was atrocious. I am not usually one to be like “men can’t write,” but at one point I told both @shireness-says and @optomisticgirl that this book must have been secretly written by a man because no woman writing it would be so obsessed with pointing out where her cellulite was. Like, what??? Also the first sex scene? Oh my God, I laughed. Guffawed. The so-called love interest literally asked: “Are we going to have sex now?” And then they just did. It was so bad. Also there was a dog? Who went everywhere with the so-called love interest. And they just never explained that? I thought it was going to be part of some crushing and depressing backstory. Nah, he was just there.

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS SO DUMB I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS A BOOK! A BOOK MEANT FOR YOUNG ADULTS! WHAT IS YOUNG ADULT???

The Queen’s Secret by Melissa de la Cruz

Lilac's birthright makes her the Queen of Renovia, and a forced marriage made her the Queen of Montrice. But being a ruler does not mean making the rules. For Lilac, taking the throne means giving up the opportunity to be with love of her life, the kingdom's assassin, Caledon Holt. Worse, Cale is forced to leave the castle when a horrific set of magical attacks threatens Lilac's sovereignty. Now Cal eand Lilac will have to battle dark forces separately, even though being together is the only thing that's ever saved them.

— Remember last month when I was like: can’t wait for my hold to come through on this sequel so I know what happens? What an idiot. THIS BOOK WAS SO DUMB I CANNOT BELIEVE IT WAS A BOOK. As always in my rage-induced rants, no apologies for spoilers because seriously do NOT read this, but Lilac (legit, that was her name) married some other dude but just kept fucking Cale??? Like she had a secret door? So he could come in and they could fuck?? I just—oh my God. So, all these things kept happening. Magic and bad stuff and horses were killed. Lilac’s mother was the absolute WORST. Honestly the most worthless character who at one point was like “well, my story is over, guess it’s time to leave,” and then just left?? Forced Lilac into a marriage of alliance and no love and then everything evil was defeated in point two four seconds. It happened so fast I wasn’t even sure it happened. So, then I’m like, ok, how are Lilac and Cale going to end up together? Because this is YA and that’s how it’s supposed to work. Only her being married and that marriage requiring an heir is something of a rather large hurdle. Don’t worry! Remember when Lilac and Cale were fucking? Everyone totally knew. Including the king Lilac is married to. Who is somehow like...ok with this? And tells Cale that Lilac is pregnant. ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL! Sure, because now they can lie and claim its the king’s heir. ONLY IT’S CALE’S KID! AND CALE IS COOL WITH THIS! His entire internal monologue during this is about how he realizes he might not ever be able to tell his kid he’s their father, but he’ll be around and that’s good. Wait, what??? But there’s more! Not only is Lilac having Cale’s kid, but the king she’s married to is in love with one of Cale’s spy associates. So the king and the spy are going to go hang out (and presumably have their own kids) at one castle and Lilac and Cale are going to go to another. Lilac and the king never get divorced or annulled or whatever. Everyone stays as is and married as is and—they all live happily ever after? This was presented as a good ending, I swear. What the shit, guys, seriously.

[savrenim]

mx savrenim! mx. savrenim! I have a writing question: Im writing a story about people who can see the future, and I'm wondering how you made it feels more like a memory not like, a gut wrenching tragedy? Its deffo painful, but Im pretty sure you mentioned wanting to give it a happy ending? If so: how. The concept of future vision is so cool but the implications and the way it plays out is horrifying and heartbreaking rip. I just wanna give my characters some chance at a happy ending

gods okay this is a good question that I have a lot of Weird Strong Feelings about bc time is the single thing that I have the strongest opinions about let’s go under the cut

so the thing that makes your question interesting to me-- “how do you make a story with future powers not a gut-wrenching tragedy”-- is that..... to me, at least, there is absolutely nothing inherent in the setup of future-seeing powers that should imply that the story should be a gut-wrenching tragedy? your problem is assuming that there has to be anything tragic involved. free yourself from that perception and you will be free to write whatever you want.

ifmlam is a gut-wrenching tragedy right now because the feeling that I was going for was “hmmmm the exact gut-wrenching feeling that The World Was Wide Enough makes me feel” and it’s having a happy ending because I decided to write a fic bc “goddamnit I need a fix-it, like, right now.” Seeing the future is cool but it’s also just a plot-and-setting device. and the story feels the way it feels because I designed how it works around exactly how I wanted it to feel?

my current other major project, trash novel, is about a seer who hunts down other seers for dramatic stop-the-world-from-devolving-into-war-and-maybe-ending reasons. except the vibes are... SO different. the vibes are “shit there’s like a dozen way way overpowered teenagers and twenty-something-year-olds who hold the fate of the world in their hands except they’re being dumb assess getting overly involved in personal drama with one another and are maybe going to blow up the planet.” and so instead of this quasi-religious worldwide honor around a single Seer and visions of the future that work one particular way and the main character being this poor fragile darling that needs to be protected and the reverence with which the plot treats the usage of future-powers, the main character of the opus series named herself “Fuck You” and has the power to see like ten seconds tops into the future and uses it to be really fucking good at magic fistfighting and accidentally gets involved in trying to take over a foreign/soon to be enemy government while trying to make friends with the ambassador that it’s her mission to protect him and like spy on that government to make sure they’re not messing with the future, but because he’s really pissed off at his ex and his shitty parents kind of for trying to force him to marry his ex and also his entire home country for siding with his ex he decides to take advantage of the fact that Saes thinks that overthrowing a government is maybe appropriate friend bonding activities to Take Revenge. and overthrow the government. meanwhile his cousin just outright admits in her second scene that she is trying to take over the first their government in then the world and is like 90% of the way there and really isn’t trying to hide the fact that she has committed to a plan that makes everyone think she is The Villain but Saes in particular bc Saes doesn’t want her home country to be conquered, but while Saes thinks this makes them moral enemies Asterna thinks that Saes is very hot because Saes is the single person who can beat her in a fistfight. they get into a misunderstanding fake-dating relationship for at ~80k words of the first arc. the ex is also trying to take over the government partially bc he feels the family pressure to continue their influence and partially bc he’s still in love with Luka and wants to try to win him back. at least three main characters have very poorly thought out one-night stands with other characters just for spite. there’s a character whose name is “Godkiller.” 

you can probably tell from the description that it’s very VERY different vibes from ifmlam. there are seers with more longreaching abilities than 10 seconds in the setting, who are trying to use their powers to seriously manipulate outcomes of events, and some deep political implications of that; it’s not all flashy ridiculousness. there are parts of it that get tragic (gods do parts of it get emotional and gods are some of those emotions tragic), but it’s never terribly tragic for very long, and it never feels like a heart-wrenching tragedy as a genre. everyone is a gay mess, extra emphasis on the gay AND the mess, and it reads like ridiculous action drama intrigue almost like a DnD campaign? 

and it’s because of both (a) the seer powers that are being highlighted work differently but also (b) the seer pov character has a fundamentally different perception of themselves. Aaron Burr sees himself as pretty much a McGuffin and he hates it and there’s a large portion of his character and character arc and hence the plot itself that revolves around him not feeling like he has any sort of control over his life or the impact of his powers. he’s afraid of himself and what he can do, he’s afraid of letting people in and being used, he’s afraid of the impact that he or someone wielding him might have on the world, and he doesn’t quite see himself as a person, more like a glass statue of one housing powers -- and that contributes to the tragedy and vastly affects the tone of the whole thing. when the viewpoint character feels helpless, when the viewpoint character doesn’t believe in themselves, when the viewpoint character is pretty much a McGuffin: incredibly powerful and useful to powerful people, but unable to control their own fate -- that gives the story a certain feeling.

Saes Imirin is nothing like Aaron Burr because Saes isn’t afraid of herself. Saes is completely at peace with what she can do, and actually thinks it’s pretty cool. She’s working for the people she’s working for because she’s decided that’s probably where she’ll do the least harm in the world, and also because she likes her apartment. if she changes her mind she changes her allegiance. she has stared down armies and has never really feared for herself, because she’s a fucking badass, and she knows that she can always pick the future where she wins so why should she ever feel afraid.

if you don’t want your characters to feel tragic, then don’t have them be afraid of themselves. don’t have them doubt themselves. but also, construct the way that future-seeing powers work so that they’re not set up to be a tragedy. the biggest being the most important pair of questions: how accurate/specific are the powers? and how unchangeable is the future?

Saes Imirin’s powers are 100% accurate and 100% specific, albeit contained to usually one to three but at most ten seconds. The future is also 100% changeable; the way her powers works is that she sees all possible futures and then physically moves the way that she did in the one where she’s won. Aaron Burr’s powers are..... death visions I’d put at, like.... 90sh % “accuracy”? in that they always show a possible and in fact usually most probable for the timeline we’re on now sort of death for someone. but they’re also very changeable. but time itself has a momentum and “pushes back” against those changes in the plot of ifmlam (someone doesn’t die in one duel will die in another, etc) which lends to a strong feeling of inevitability despite the relative amount of freedom those powers have. 

imo, future-seeing usually lends itself to tragedy when it’s about seeing something terrible/attempting to subvert something that cannot be fixed because it is the future. if you establish early on that all visions/prophecies must come true exactly, that will usually put a fair amount of tension on your plot and it will make things feel tragic, especially if characters end up getting a future that they really really don’t like. the more unchangeable things are, the more it usually tends towards tragedy.

(I say “usually” because, like. I’m still waiting for a story in which future-seeing is absolute and someone gets a prophecy that “and if you choose to go forward and step through this room your fate will be sealed, you will die on this specific day in this exact way and nothing in the universe can change that”, the character goes “cool”, does it, and promptly begins taking advantage of their immortality up until that day to do Utterly Ridiculous Things to become a weird hyper luck-based superhero of, like, “I can jump off this building bc in the vision I was fine and unhurt so I can’t get wounded in any sort of way that’ll make me unable to run and jump around” “I can totally try eating this mystery goo let’s see what it does” “hmmm the enemy fired their superbomb into the heart of our capital guess I just have to sit here next to it so that it will keep malfunctioning in some strange unspecified way and not going off because it can’t kill me here and now my fate is set in stone” etc. just. someone give me that comedy p l e a s e. I’m picturing Monty Python level of shenanigans.)

but yeah, usually, the more set in stone a future is, the more likely a story is to take a turn for the tragic, because when the future isn’t ~set in stone~ prophecies function more as useful warnings that can be interpreted to do useful things and save the day and not terrible foreboding omens of doom. high accuracy with high changeability is a cool superpower. low.... specificity, at least, leads to stories where usually you go “oH SHIIIIIT” afterwards as you get the end and the last thing clicks in place and now the entire plot in hindsight is So Much Different and they only lend themselves to tragedy if they’re useless as warnings and are just “fuck oh THAT’S what it meant and if I understood it I could have changed it”. and then inherent low changeability is both easiest to lend to tragedy and imo the hardest to write because you write yourself into a corner? (and you also make some pretty deep philosophical statements about determinism and free will depending on how you characterize time.) but so long as everyone has a chance to change things, the story won’t feel hopeless.

this has gotten long and rambly bc it’s ungodly o clock in the morning and, like, if the heart of the thesis of your story is “knowing the future is Fucked Up and Fucks You Up” and your story is on the deep seated societal implications about a world where some measure of seeing the future exists, like.... there are ways in which things might be tragic, but there are ways to counter that by making things mundane? a la lightening benders in legend of korra working at electricity plants. having seers with tiny mundane powers and/or who don’t really care about their powers and don’t use them too much or who just think of them as annoying side noise, but at the heart of it, oops stealing also from mob psycho 100 bc oops I just rewatched it and am mildly obsessed with it and its message and just dear gods how it manages to pull off its emotional impact....

psychic powers are just another trait. like people who can run fast or who study hard or sing really well or have strong body odor, or have psychic powers. they don’t make you any more special than anything else. who you are and what you do isn’t set in stone, it’s choices that you can make.

and finally, if your world is tragic bc you’ve decided to lean into the “the public perceives seers as special / dangerous / other “ and so you don’t want to adjust how the powers themselves work and how the public sees it, there’s always the trick of just, like.... let characters’ actions have meaning. let them win. and it won’t be a tragedy, not really.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Hell/Dark Tunnel Symbolism

Okay, today I want to talk about the hell or dark tunnel symbolism. It really came together for me in a big way during episode 10x10 and I want you guys to see what I'm seeing. First let's talk about what it is. It often starts with water. We’ve said before that water = Beth, and that still true. But I believe water may represent something slightly bigger or more general than that as well.

It struck me in episode 10x11 that when Ezekiel went to get Carol, she was at Daryl's camp by the water. Now, Carol basically did in this season exactly what Daryl did after he lost Rick.

(Once again, Carol and Carol are very similar in their tendencies and how they deal with things. Both of them tend to shut down and become somewhat hermetic.)

It's important to note that Ezekiel is the only one who could've convinced Carol to come back to civilization. This happened relatively quickly, because as soon as Ezekiel found out what happened, he went out to get her. She wouldn't have come back for anyone else. The same was true of Daryl, and that's what makes it sad. After Rick’s death, if Beth had been around, he wouldn’t have stayed out in the woods so long. She would come to get him and he would come back with her. But he ended up staying up there for six years because he had no Beth to come get him and bring him back, as Ezekiel did for Carol.

And yes, for the record, Carol did bring Daryl back in S9, but remember that he wouldn't do it for her originally. He said no. She had to leave Henry with him overnight, trusting that Henry will be able to convince Daryl to come back. And who did Henry represent and remind Daryl of heavily? That would be Beth.

But back to Carzekiel. I thought it was interesting that rather than just have her go off by herself into the woods somewhere, they purposely put her next to a body of water. I think water represents happiness, especially romantic happiness for our main characters. So, Beth definitely does = water, especially for Daryl. And I also think she equals water for other reasons having to do with the plot, including the helicopter group, which is purifying water. She's a dynamic symbol.

But back to the dark tunnel symbolism. It often starts near water to show that the character is happy and that there surrounded by people they care about. That's often romantic love, but it can also be other kinds, like familial love. After all, Rick was near water when he disappeared, which would suggest romantic love for Michonne losing him, but obviously not for Daryl and the others.

So again, we start no water, which represents happiness. Then something happens, usually the loss of someone the character cares about, and the character enters the dark tunnel or hell symbolism. This is often represented literally by a dark tunnel in the show.

We've also seen it represented by gas station more than once, and gas stations represent hell. So, these are all the same symbols. It represents a period of great trial, personal hell, or emotional/psychological darkness for the character. And again, this is usually because they’ve lost someone they cared about.

Yet, we often see it depicted as having a light at the other end of the tunnel. This usually represents them being able to get that person back. Because of this, I believe the dark tunnel symbolism is usually used only when the character will eventually get the person they've lost back. In other words, a death fake out.

I’m going talk about all of the instances of dark tunnel symbolism I can think of. I'm sure there are some that I've missed, especially smaller, more subtle instances. I'll just give you enough so that you can see the way that they do this in the show.

Let me mention that this specific dark tunnel symbolism was not used heavily until S4 when Gimple took over. The trials the characters went through still existed in earlier seasons, of course, but I don't think they used “dark tunnels’ extensively to show those trials until Gimple took the reins.

So, for example, earlier death fake outs included Carol in S3 and Merle in S1, but they didn’t specifically employ dark tunnel symbolism for those. I’m sure if you go back and watch the episode, you might be able to find something that qualifies, but it’s not to the same extent that Gimple began purposely putting still after 3x16.

The original dark tunnel had to do with Rick in episode 1x01. After he wakes up, Rick enters the hospital stairwell, which is very dark. He has only a small flickering lighter and then we see him open the door out into the sunlight, which is very common now, which is very similar to what Beth did agree.

Now, this dark tunnel might represent Rick’s own fake out in ep 1x01. Because Lori and Carl thought he was dead and then he showed up alive. Rick waking up at the beginning of the series was sort of the Original Death Fake Out.

And I think sometimes Gimple does this. More often, though, the character who enters the dark tunnel isn’t the one who is presumed dead. Rather, someone they love is presumed dead, which is why they’re in hell to begin with.

The dark tunnel in 1x01 represents Rick is about to enter a period of trial or is going to lose someone. I believe for 1x01, the dark tunnel represents the series as a whole and the zombie apocalypse in general. Rick is about to enter a period of trials that is the apocalypse and the end of the world. He’ll lose a lot of people along the way, and this entire story is one great big hell for the characters. This is actually backed up by quite extensively by what Dr. Jenner in 1x06 at the CDC. We get a lot of biblical symbolism and mention of trials.

It’s also worth mentioning that one of the first and most famous scenes of the pilot is where Rick arrives at a gas station and sees zombie girl. That was mirrored in 8x01 and foreshadowed Carl’s death, so it lines up fairly neatly. The gas station represents the hell that comes from losing a beloved family member or other character. The dark tunnel, while represents basically the same thing, is used primarily when the person lost is a romantic love interest.

But then Gimple takes over in 3x16 and starting in S4, we get much more purposeful and obvious use of this dark tunnel symbolism.

In 4a, Daryl's group, while looking for medicine, goes into a gas station. This instance is how we know the gas station represents hell. On the marquee the letters have been turned to spell out the word, “hell.”

We also get what I always refer to as Grady lighting at both the gas station and the veterinary clinic. All that means is that it's dark inside with light streaming in from outside. So kind of lines up with dark tunnel symbolism. It might also represent imprisonment. Darkness insight the prison with the light of freedom on the outside.

A couple of important details: they are looking for water almost right away, because the battery (Battery Theory) that they find is dry and needs water. We also see prominent keys, and coolant (antifreeze) plays a prominent role in how the people in the gas station died.

In 4b, we had two major instances of the dark tunnel symbolism. The first was with Maggie and Glenn. Glenn and Tara literally entered a dark tunnel because Glenn was searching for Maggie. When they got into the tunnel, they found that the ceiling had fallen in, trapping walkers.

I’ve always believed the ceiling falling and was a representation of Beth being shot in the head. (See the Hole in the Roof theory.) Maggie even tells Glenn later that she fired off her gun and that's what made the ceiling fell on the walkers, which saved her life. The point is, Maggie and Glenn were separated and searching for one another. We have a literal dark tunnel with light at the end, and they came out of the dark tunnel on the other side, reunited.

Bet you can guess the other major hell, dark tunnel symbolism and 4B. That would be the golf club. Once again, we have a confirmation that this represented hell because on TTD, the writers said that Beth and Daryl going through the golf club represented the nine circles of hell. So, it represented a period of trial for them.

And I could go into all kinds of ways that what happened in the golf club foreshadowed their arc and what would happen, including the passage of eight minutes which probably represents eight years. But the point is, we have dark tunnel symbolism which represents hell or a trial. And at the end, both of them came out on the other side into the light and Beth said, "We made it."

Let’s move on to S5. We had Beth leaving Edward's office and literally walking into a dark hallway with light at the end. We also have the shot of her looking down the dim hallway greeting when she arrives, and seeing a man with a mop at the end, standing in lighter area. This represented that Beth was about to enter her dark tunnel arc.

Well, I said the person entering the dark tunnel is not usually the person who's presumed dead, but the one who lost somebody. So between the two, it's really Daryl in the dark tunnel because that represents his emotional or psychological darkness over losing Beth.

However, I also believe that Beth will have a dark tunnel of her own. We haven't seen it because we aren't seeing anything from her point of view. But when we get her story, I think there's a very good chance that she has a dark tunnel as well. Mainly it will be dealing with the emotional darkness at losing her family and being left behind, but I think there's a good chance she’ll come to believe Daryl is dead as well. That could be why it’s taken them so long to find one another, because neither believes the other one is still living.

Moving on to S6.

Enter Glenn's death fake out. Because he’s the one presumed dead, It would be Maggie who’s in the dark tunnel because she lost him, right? And, once again, we have a very literal dark tunnel that Maggie enters.

After 6x03, Thank You, even before the audience learned he’d lived, Maggie and Aaron enter a dark tunnel together. This very much represents her emotional turmoil over not knowing whether Glenn is alive or not. And all the lighting and symbolism applies.

(I’m also side-eying the fact that Aaron was involved here, given that he befriended Daryl right after Daryl lost Beth, and that Aaron actually showed up with the music box.)

It's also important to me that we didn't get any dark tunnel symbolism when Glenn actually died. That's why I believe it's only used when they're going to get that loved one back. So the dark tunnel applied in S4 when Glenn and Maggie were separated but found their way back to one another. It also applied in S6a when Glenn had his death fake out.

But we didn't see it around Maggie when Glenn actually died. Don't get me wrong, we saw her grieving and saw other interesting symbols around her, but not specifically the dark tunnel symbolism because, in this case, she wasn't going to get Glenn back.

Season 7:

We see a version of this when Daryl was being held captive at the Sanctuary. There were a lot of symbols there that showed he was thinking a lot about Beth and that represented his dark tunnel arc. The symbolism we saw here other wasn't exactly the same, but I think that's because it represented the dark tunnel that he was already in.

The thing about Daryl is that, as Beth pointed out to him in S4, he doesn’t naturally default toward optimism and faith. He often can't see beyond the darkness toward the light. Other characters such as Beth and Ezekiel can see beyond the darkness to light much more easily than he can.

So, we had a shot of him lying in his cell, reaching toward the light, and he's definitely surrounded with darkness. It's like he wants to get to the light, but he doesn't know how. And again, it’s important to note that he didn't actually take actions to get himself back toward the light by escaping the Sanctuary until after Dwight played the song that reminded him of Beth. She became his light that helped him get through the darkness.

Season eight.

There was a scene where Negan and Rick were fighting and went into the basement of an abandoned building. This is another thing we can point to as being a representation hell because there was a sign beside it said "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." 

That same thing is written above Hell, in Dante's Inferno. So, the writers obviously pull heavily from Dante (the 9 circles of hell in the golf club also comes from Dante) but this obviously represents Rick's coming dark tunnel and death fake out, in the same way that the golf club represented Beth’s.

Season 9:

Some people have suggested that, just before Rick disappeared, when he and Daryl fell into that pit together, that might have functioned as dark tunnel symbolism. Also, during his hallucination, we saw him in the hospital again from 1x01. There are lights on in the hospital, but it still dark compared to what's outside, so that also might have been a representation of dark tunnel symbolism.

And its interesting that it showed the hospital from 1x01 again, because it kind of book-ended his time on the show by showing both ends of the tunnel, as it were.

I also think it's worth mentioning what happened with Michonne in 9x06, right after Rick disappeared. She found an abandoned van hidden in the brush and got in to explore it. Honestly, this wasn't the best representation of dark tunnel symbolism because the van wasn't terribly dark. But it was cylindrical in shape and it did have sunlight streaming in from the outside.

And to be fair, this tent Daryl wakes up in also has the look of a dark tunnel. They were both in a bad place after losing Rick.

During the opening sequence with her, she picks up the sheriff that looks a lot like Rick and talks about how since he left just become darker and darker for her. So, I think it's a representation of her being in the dark tunnel after having lost Rick.

Season 10:

Now, finally, we get to the sequence in 10x10, with Alpha and Daryl. While I don't think this represents a coming dark tunnel arc, I think it’s rehash of Daryl's entire dark tunnel arc from the beginning.

So, notice it starts out near some water, which represents him being with Beth. Then, we see a fight between him and Alpha, in which Alpha (who represents Dawn) injures Daryl (who represents Beth in the sequence) in the forehead. He even stabs her in the shoulder as Beth did with Dawn. Then they both stagger away into a gas station.

Remember that gas station represents hell or the dark tunnel. In other words, after Beth was shot, Daryl enters the gas station/dark tunnel of trial because he lost her.

We have a walker horde involved. (I haven't mentioned it specifically with each individual case, but there are usually walkers involved in the dark tunnel/hell symbolism. Walkers were involved in the train tunnel in 4b with Maggie and Glenn; there were walkers blocking her and Aaron from getting out in 6a; we believe a walker horde was involved in leaving Beth behind; you get the idea.)

We saw many symbols around Daryl in the gas station in 10x10 that we've seen throughout a lot of these situations over the seasons, including fire extinguishers, yellow mops, a car with an open trunk, Christmas tree symbols, and coolers. There was even a fish hanging on the wall. I won’t go into details on all of these for this post, but if you’ve followed TD for a while, you should have a pretty good idea.

And then of course there was the conversation were Alpha asked, "Can you see beyond the darkness, into the light?"

Daryl: "No."

This was a representation of Daryl's entire dark tunnel arc. I think they’re replaying it because his is been longer than anyone else’s by far. Maggie and Glenn’s came to a close, both times, within a handful of episodes. We don't know exactly when Michonne will get Rick back, but certainly won’t take as long as it did for Daryl to get Beth back.

Daryl's entire arc on the show since S5 has revolved around losing and was foreshadowed in S4. I also believe they’re rehashing it because it's about to end. He's about to finally come out of his dark tunnel when he finds Beth alive. So just as we saw the hospital from 1x01 again when Rick disappeared, so they’re also rehashing Daryl’s dark tunnel arc because Beth is about to appear.

We get a few different symbols of resurrection at the end of this dark tunnel arc. Sometimes its eyes fluttering open (Beth and Glenn). Other times it’s lying against a tree. *Ahem*

It's also important to note that Dawn died very soon after what happened with Beth because Daryl shot her. Obviously, Daryl did not kill Alpha, but I do think it's important that we saw the sequence with her being a stand-in for Dawn and only two episodes later, she's dead. Yet more evidence that the sequence was meant to represent Grady.

We also get other, oblique symbols that recur with the Dark Tunnel symbolism, such as flashlights and flashlight flares, 

but I won’t try to go into all of that, today.

So that is the dark tunnel/how symbolism as I'm seeing it. As I said, I'm sure there's a lot more instances, but these are the major ones that came to mind. 

Thoughts?

[sireneia]

tell me ur stahl biases,,, i need 2 know for reasons 👀🍷

ship biases // aaron here’s how stahl met ur second parent—

1. stahl / miriel - i invalidate myself with this because this is 100% first run bias but like. to an EXCESSIVE DEGREE. it’s watching their support chain that convinced me to try fire emblem as a franchise at all actually so i guess you can say i almost feel indebted to them LOL. but i just found their supports lighthearted and charming! i think miriel’s all-too serious fascination with him ( even if one might find the reason to be a little insulting, miriel means no harm ) played off of stahl’s people pleasing attitude is fun to watch and i genuinely think he would love to help her as an assistant and make her life easier. miriel is a smart gal who can do great things, and stahl would absolutely marvel at all her discoveries and advancements! i think his background with his family apothecary business could also be a good compliment in having him familiarize himself with her work, and beyond that, the two iirc are implied to interact with one another when they’re first introduced in-game so there’s basis to believe they are around one another more than just merely in their supports!

2. stahl / tharja - ok this is the one i choose as my fav when you ask me to actually use my head. stahl is always looking out for others, and seeing tharja get pleasantly surprised by how pure his concern is for others is really nice imo! they can have sun and moon symbolism pretty easily which is just the cherry on top of the sundae. i think it’s also fun to see him imply or just straight up say his growing attraction to her, feeling good in being honest especially as a strong contrast to how in his past he held his tongue on his feelings to the previous girl he liked because he thought it was for the better. interacting with tharja, though it wasn’t her intention to do this, teaches stahl to go for his wishes more often and to be free to say things, even if at first he wasn’t a fan of the situation of being forced to be completely honest all the time. stahl is just so wholesome, and i love to see him with tharja. they are literally the meme that’s like “someone will die” “of fun!”

bonus in that i think noire looks really cute with stahl’s hair color and she’s already wearing green like him anyhow. also once again, i think stahl’s family bg as an apothecary can help him spend more time with tharja and helping her with her work!

3. stahl / robin - yet another instance of this depends upon the portrayal but i’m going based solely off of the two canon robins and i think stahl works with either of them! stahl is always looking out for others, so it’s nice to see someone else take notice of stahl and try and pamper him instead. their supports are legitimately sweet and it’s really nice to see this guy who thinks of himself as terribly mediocre end up with someone that basically everyone in the army looks to. and, well, with that much burden on robin’s shoulders, they still will need someone to help look after them too anyway and that’s what stahl likes doing best!

also extra angst but (: in the doomed timeline where robin gets possessed by grima and stahl who was once known for always caring after others and fell for the one person who looked after him is now known as the spouse of the person who wreaked havoc and ruin over everyone he knew and loved and then some! haha! 

4. stahl / maribelle - this isn’t one i came to love until long after i first played awakening, but i’m rather partial to it now! once again i’m pairing stahl with a hardworking woman ( which. i guess tbf is like. most of the women in awakening actually ) since i found it sweet how stahl really did worry over maribelle’s health, but also how maribelle was interested in stahl’s own ambitions and came to understand how his mind worked really drew me in! i love how she realized how much thought stahl put into things even if he’s indecisive and so genuinely believed he would carve himself a good future just like how she was trying to. also, stahl aspires to make everyone happy, and maribelle’s ideals align with his then: her goal to end oppression and corruption is something he would love to lend aid to if she lets him.

5. stahl / lissa - fanart convinced me of this one tbh but i do think there is something really nice here! their supports have them talking honestly to each other and being so comfortable with one another, and i can imagine they’ve known each other for quite some time since lissa’s first love was frederick and i hc that stahl studied underneath frederick as a new recruit so they’d run into each other naturally with that link. their supports just make me feel good idk, and it’s clear lissa cares about stahl with how she’ll get mad for him when she feels like stahl’s kindness is being taken advantage of. 

also stahl is 100% the type of guy who would absolutely indulge in owain’s fantasies as a child haha

[makesyoubrave]

HIIII first of all I am in love with your stories. You're like the best kajsksjs second of all, for the prompt thing... Maybe... They're friends, but Janis gets jealous and Regina confronts her about it/makes fun of her cause she knows she has feelings for her?

This is the story about how the gang schemes to get Regina to realize/admit she has feelings for Janis. It's kinda messy and pretty stream-of-conscious, but a long thought out story will be coming soon, so here is a messy appetizer to that main course ;) 

Read on Ao3 here

Regina and Janis are friends now. It defies all the odds but they are. And it’s absolute fucking torture for Regina. And not in the way you might expect. It’s absolute torture because now she has to confront things she has been pushing to the side for years.

Janis, though, is kind-of having the time of her life.

It was around September that Janis figured out that Regina has feelings for her, and Janis has been soaking it in ever since. Sure she’d had to process and unpack it with Damian’s help but after that, she realized, until Regina figured out just what was making her act the way she was acting, that Janis was going to milk this experience for all it was worth. Maybe push Regina into action a little.

Janis is over lying to herself and pretending to be something she’s not so that night in September when Damian asked her if maybe she wanted Regina to like her Janis had just stared into the distance for a while before looking at Damian and whispering “well I’m screwed.”

It was true, Janis had lots of feelings for Regina George, and she knew that Regina George had a lot of feelings for her, but she knew she couldn’t push Regina directly or the other girl would lash out or run away (she might have shed her outer layers and reverted back to being a pretty good person but she hadn’t completely changed) Janis knew Regina would have to come to terms with this on her own, she just wanted to speed the process up a bit.

So she schemes. She gets Damian’s help, and then accidentally enlists Gretchen one day when Gretchen comes into the art room to ask Damian’s opinion on her outfit for something or other and finds them next to a chalkboard with the start of a seven-step plan.

Gretchen squeals. She still really wants to make everyone around her happy, though she’s learning slowly how to not get walked on, and how to find self-worth without praise from Regina or Cady. But when Damian shushes a protesting Janis and tells Gretchen the plan she’s 100% in.

“Awwww, I’ve been keeping people’s secrets for years, you think I don’t see how Regina looks at you with those big eyes and the expression of terror?” Gretchen says to Janis when she looks and see’s Janis’ look of utter shock.

Damian cackles.

•••

The first stage of their plan is dubbed “Make Regina notice Janis” and has three parts. The first is to just up Regina’s exposure to Janis and make sure Janis is flaunting what she’s got while Regina is paying attention.

Janis changes her routine at school, making sure that she walks down the hallway going the opposite way from Regina at least twice a day. Regina doesn’t quite strut down the hall the way she used to. She’s not always flanked by Gretchen and Karen because now that there aren’t weird rules and weirder expectations the two girls are free to just walk to their own classes. And the effects from Regina’s tango with the bus have left her in flats instead of heels, and she tires easily.

But the hallway still parts for her like it’s the Red Sea. Regina hasn’t ruined anyone’s life in probably 6 months and she’s been actively nicer to people, but old habits die hard, Janis guesses.

But every day after Homeroom and every day after Lunch Regina walks down the main hall of campus with at least two people with her. It’s usually Gretchen and Karen but sometimes it’ll be Cady, or Damian, or Aaron or even Kevin. Somedays it’d been Janis, but now she makes sure to leave both lunch and homeroom really fast to get to her locker so she can be there when Regina starts her strut down the hall.

It’s a warm fall day when it firsts really works. For the last two weeks Regina has stared at Janis for the few seconds they pass each other, and Janis has either grinned at Regina or said hi, and Reinga has always responded. But on this particular day, Janis starts walking down the hall as soon as she sees Regina. People respect and like her after her stunt in the gym last year and there isn’t a ton of traffic because most people are coming straight from the lunch hall, so she has a pretty clear shot as she shakes off the small lingering nerves and flips her hair over her shoulder and stalks down the hallway towards Regina (flanked by Gretchen and Damian today).

When Regina comes into view, the student body has parted so that it’s only the two of them in the hall, there’s no way Janis couldn’t see Regina or Regina couldn’t see Janis, but as they get closer Janis sets her focus to the space above Regina’s head. Regina, for her part, does exactly what Janis expected; she stares at Janis as she gets closer, and her eyebrows contract when she realizes that Janis isn’t going to look at her.

At the last second, Janis can manage before she’ll have completely passed Regina, she sends her most dangerous and seductive smirk over to Regina and winks, before continuing on.

It takes everything she has to not turn around and watch the reaction, but Gretchen and Damian come over after school and gush for like twenty minutes about how Regina had stopped dead in her tracks so fast Gretchen had barely missed bowling her over by Damian pulling her out of the way. Regina had then stared, eyes wide, at Janis’ retreating form for a good ten seconds before she’d snapped back to the present reality, blushed, and turned, wide-eyed, to Damian and Gretchen who had both pretended nothing had happened.

It makes Janis grin ferociously to imagine.

•••

Regina's on the brink, literally anything seems to have her a complete mess. When Janis laughs, Regina blushes. When Janis grins at her, Regina pales. When Janis walks away, Regina watches. When Janis speaks to her, sometimes Regina stutters or blinks rapidly before she can speak. She finds Janis working in the library, pen in her mouth and she swoons. She finds Janis goofing off with Damian and the mathletes in the parking lot and giggles. She finds Janis playing with some puppies one of the teachers brought in to de-stress the kids and Regina almost faints at how fucking cute/hot it is.

Damian loves the material he has to work with, but he sees that one area has been a little underdeveloped. So he comes up with this idea to play into Janis’ passion. So he plays the long game. He knows that Janis has an art-show right before Halloween and he plans to use that. She’s constantly rushing home after school and holing herself up in her art studio/garage.

He walks up to Regina one day at the beginning of October and tells her he wants to go to the mall and look at shoes. Regina immediately agrees. So after school, they get in Regina’s car and are on their way to the mall when Damian cusses loudly and tells Regina that he left his wallet at Janis’ the night before (which was true, he’d shoved it in the seat of the couch in the garage). She rolls her eyes and turns the car around, driving to Janis’.

When they get there Regina makes to stay in the car, but Damian insists that once he goes in he doesn’t know how long Janis will keep him and she might as well come in with him. Damian almost cackles at how easily and quickly Regina agrees to his flimsy excuse, but he holds it together.

They walk into exactly what Damian had hoped. Janis has soft music with a strong beat playing through her garage and she’s in her painting clothes, shorts, socks, a tank top and flannel (all covered in paint) with her hair tied up at the base of her neck. She’s got paint on her forearms where she’s rolled up her flannel, and she’s got paint streaked on her legs and one green streak on her forehead and one red one on her neck. She’s perspiring a little, but her eyes are focused and intense. She’s stretching when they walk in and Damian glances at Regina out of the corner of her eye and sees the girl’s eyes widen, and her mouth almost drops open. He decides to let it go for a while, and as soon as the tension seems to lean towards growing stale he opens his mouth to speak.

He takes a while fake looking for his wallet and Janis pulls over a stool for Regina to sit as Damian first checks most of the garage and then ventures inside. Janis turns down the music but continues to paint as Regina sits and watches. Janis has to bite her lip to stop her grinning or laughing at the expression deep in Regina’s eyes.

Damian comes back in and guesses he’s pushed far enough, “finds” his wallet and drags Regina, who stops to mumble a soft “the painting is really awesome, Janis” before she lets herself get dragged out.

Damian lets Regina process through the drive to the mall, because the girl looks like she really needs it.

•••

Two weeks later, Janis invites everyone to her art show and Gretchen enlists Karen to work her part of the plan. They approach Janis after school the Thursday before her show (on Saturday) and ask if they can help her get ready before her big moment. Janis looks skeptical, but she’s truly friends with these girls now, so she nods.

“On one condition… you don’t make me wear pink.”

“Of course silly, it’s not Wednesday.”

They stay true to their word, and honestly, they don’t even really alter Janis’ look that much. It’s a pretty formal event, and Janis has already picked out her outfit. They veto the shirt she’d picked, and replace it with a semi-sheer button down from Gretchen’s closet. It goes well with Janis’ silver blazer and silver shoes with her customary black skirt and decorative tights.

Gretchen straighten’s Janis’ hair and pulls it back to show-off the shaved side (freshly buzzed) while Karen focuses on Janis’ makeup. She tones down the eyeliner but gives the girl a sparkly silver smoky-eye and contours her bone structure from naturally-sharp to holy-fuck. She and Gretchen confer and decide on a nude lipstick and they help Janis pick out jewelry. It’s Karen’s idea for her to wear the bowtie, Janis’ idea to run downstairs and splatter it with paint, and Gretchen’s idea to load as many rings onto Janis’ hands as possible (she’s been friends with Regina long enough to know that girl will notice and appreciate the attention being brought to Janis’ long fingers and strong hands).

Regina shows up with Damian, Cady, and Aaron to the art show and she’s flabbergasted. Janis has a section of the gallery that’s all her own and while the gang mostly walks around the whole thing (one of the artists paints animal studies and Cady drags Aaron over there for a good portion of the night) Regina can’t really pull herself from the front right corner of the room where paintings with deep colors and broad strokes and abstract shapes and emotions that spill off the canvas and directly into Regina’s heart live.

Janis had been in the back with another artist and the gallery owner when Regina and the gang showed up and when she exits, Gretchen in her blue dress and Karen in her bubblegum pink one and Damian in his purple suit jacket are wandering around the gallery while Aaron in a navy suit stands with Cady in her dark purple pantsuit looking at a painting of a lion, Kevin and the mathlete dudes goofing off by the door with Shane fucking Ohman and she grins, her life full of amazing people. Then she sees Regina in a white dress with silver shoes. Regina’s facing away from her, staring at Janis’ favorite piece she has in this exhibit. It’s a painting of a figure on the other side of a window, walking towards the window in the pouring rain. It’s all blues and greens and browns and purples and the figure is just open space on the canvas.

As Janis rounds the corner, staring much more at Regina then at her painting, she sees the expression on Regina’s face and something constricts in her chest. She feels like she can’t breathe. When Regina turns towards her and that look is then directed 100% at Janis she stops in her tracks. Regina is looking at her with pure awe and a little bit of something that scares Janis a little. But Janis likes to think of herself as someone who walks towards the things that scare her, not away, so she walks towards Regina.

Regina opens her mouth as if to speak, but she can’t and she just shakes her head. Janis feels herself blushing and she ducks her head.

“I can… uh… I can walk you through it if you’d like?”

It’s a credit to their friends that all of them let them have this moment and wait until Regina looks like she might actually faint before they bombard Janis with praise and hugs.

Regina looks wildly at Damian and then at Gretchen and after they take Janis out to ice cream, Gretchen takes Regina home with her and listens as a wide-eyed and flabbergasted Regina admits that she likes Janis.

Gretchen texts Damian once Regina’s passed out from exhaustion.

“On to stage two”

•••

Damian has to credit most of stage 2 to Gretchen knowing Regina really well. She calls Damian after the art show and tells Damian that now that Regina has admitted that she likes Janis she’s going to throw up a lot of walls.

“She doesn’t think Janis is gonna like her, which is a valid thought, so she’s going to just retreat?” Damian asks.

“Not in the way you might think. It’s like… she’s going to try to pretend that Janis doesn’t really matter to her, but she’s also going to kind-of rip herself apart because obviously, Janis does.”

Damian nods.

Stage 2 of the plan is called “The Jealousy Stage” and they don’t even have to do all of the work.

A week after the art exhibit, Regina, who’s back to full strut, is stalking down the halls, looking to walk past Janis’ locker on her way to English class, when she spots a girl in the grade below them leaning against Janis’ locker.

The girl is a grade B bitch. (Regina gives her a grade B because she’s no Junior-Year-Regina). She’s tall and she’s got freckles and bright green eyes and long brown hair and tan skin and she’s gorgeous, Regina can admit that. And she’s leaning towards Janis and grinning and Janis is fucking blushing.

Regina isn’t one of those people who could blend in and figure out what they’re saying, but she tries her best, slowing her pace and pretending to read something on her phone as she passes. She overhears.

“Your art gallery was so gorgeous, and I just had to meet the artist.”

“Thanks”

“I was wondering if you’d like”

Some dude next to Regina shouts and then almost pees himself when Regina spins on him, murder in her eyes. She softens quickly and rolls her eyes at the sophomore dude who’s on the wrestling team. He scampers off.

“Sure!”

Regina looks at Janis and Janis is blushing deeply and Regina sees red. She’s about two-thirds of the way into a brutal plan to ruin the life of that bitch - Morgan maybe? When Janis notices her standing there.

Morgan or whatever her name is long gone.

“You ok, there Regina?”

Regina stands up straighter. “Fine, was she bothering you?”

Janis looks at her curiously, then smirks. “Nope. See you in History later.” And then she’s gone. Regina is fuming.

She stops the closest junior, this girl who Regina has seen around but honestly cannot remember the name of, she’s on the girl’s soccer team and she shows up to a lot of the parties Aaron throws.

“You’re going to find out what Morgan Michaels wants with Janis Sarkisian by the end of the day,” Regina says with no argument. The girl - Caitlyn - looks at Regina real hard.

“Morgan went to Janis’ art-thingy and was super impressed or whatever and now she wants Janis to paint a picture of her…”

Regina stares at her, shocked.

“I was literally standing right next to them when it happened.”

It’s then that Regina remembers that the doctor’s had said it might take a while for her hearing to get better after the bus. It’d been so long that she’d kind of forgotten what that meant for her ability to hear conversations from a distance away, never having needed that power before, relying on Gretchen.

“Why do you want to know?”

Regina just stares at her and then walks away. (Two months later when a rumor starts spreading through the junior class that Caitlyn is a slut, Regina hunts down the stupid dude who got rejected by her and started the rumor and no one knows what she did or said to him but they do know that he left that day early, crying, and the rumor was squashed by the end of the day.)

•••

Two weeks later when Regina walks into the studio and sees Janis working on a painting of fucking Morgan Michaels, she almost sets the room ablaze just with the power of her eyes. It takes Gretchen’s pleading, Cady’s eye-rolls, Karen’s puppy-dog eyes and Damian’s no-nonsense attitude to get her to tell them what’s wrong.

It’s Gretchen who calms her. “If Janis and Morgan were like… a thing… don’t you think Janis wouldn’t spend every weekend with us and she’d maybe like… even talk to Morgan during the day?”

Regina has to admit that that sounds legit.

“It’s like the basic laws of attraction, Regina, duh.”

They’re at lunch the next day when Cady bites the bullet. “So you and Morgan…”

Janis almost chokes on her food. “Ha! No, that girl may be ridiculously hot and totally into me, but I can’t stand being alone with her for longer than like, twenty minutes.”

They’re all shocked when that doesn’t actually make Regina feel better.

“Yeah, like I’m sure Janis wouldn’t say the exact same about me, or worse.”

Karen pipes up quietly from the corner. “If we’re all just going to pretend the evening at the art gallery doesn’t exist, then why don’t you like… try to hang out with her for longer than twenty minutes and prove her wrong.”

They haven’t seen Regina this determined in a while.

•••

They end up going to a drive-in. A fucking drive-in. Regina won’t admit it but she’s kind of floored by the idea and desperately wishes it was a date. She wishes it, even more, when they’re sitting in the bed of Janis’ dad’s truck on the small couch from her garage that Regina and Janis and Damian had put in the bed early that night. She’s sitting there, far too close to Janis, who is chuckling at the Hitchcock thriller they’re playing that night, and Regina feels overwhelmed by the emotions.

The movie ends and they strap the couch back down and get back in the truck and Regina realizes that sitting in relative silence and watching a movie probably doesn’t count as solid alone time, so she hurriedly suggests they go get milkshakes. Janis grins.

They end up spending much more than twenty minutes together, and when Janis drops Regina off after a night of laughter and teasing and lingering looks, she desperately wants to kiss her, but she doesn’t. Because while everyone else might know that Regina George is head-over-heels for Janis, all Janis can see is that Regina is attracted to her, and she refuses to get her heart broken by Regina George again, so she’s putting the ball firmly in Regina’s court and she leaves.

Regina could scream with frustration.

•••

Aaron throws a party the next weekend and Damian and Gretchen get to work. They coordinate schedules to make sure that Janis gets to the party before Regina, knowing that if they get Janis on the dance floor when Regina enters, that Regina might just short-circuit enough. They’re hoping they’re going to get to stage 3 tonight; actualization. Whereas Stage 1 was mostly Damian’s doing and Stage 2 Gretchen’s, Stage 3, while set in motion by their plotting, is entirely up to the two girls.

Regina gets to the party, opens the door, walks through, grabs a drink, talks with Kevin and the mathletes for a little, says hi to Shane, and then walks towards the room with the stereo. She walks through the doorway and she stops.

In the middle of the dance floor, grooving like she doesn’t care who sees, is Janis. She’s dancing brightly with not a care in the world, a huge grin on her face, wacky dance moves with just the right amount of rhythm. Regina has a flash of imagining pulling Janis close to her and moving to the music, and then she’s back in the moment, watching a care-free Janis dance with Karen and Damian, and she leans against the door-frame and smiles.

“When are you going to stop kidding yourself?” It’s Aaron, standing with a red solo cup, leaning against the other side of the doorframe.

Regina doesn’t even try to deny it, just looks at Janis and back at Aaron. His face softens a bit at the expression on her face.

“I know you, Regina, don’t turn this into some sort of game or scheme. You talk a big talk about not caring what people think, and going for what you want but…”

Regina’s face is pained. “Janis isn’t people… she’s Janis. And I don’t deserve her.”

“Six months ago, I would have agreed with you. But tonight?” Aaron allows his thought to trail off, rests his hand on Regina’s shoulder for a second, and then leaves.

When Regina turns back towards the dancing mob, Janis makes eye contact with her and waves, carefree and happy and Regina rolls her eyes fondly and smirks. Janis keeps staring at her, cocks her head to one side a little and grins. It makes Regina’s heart flutter.

She maintains eye-contact with Janis as she stalks across the crowded room, gets up in her personal space (drowns out Gretchen and Damian squealing in the background) and grabs her by her jacket and pulls Janis to her.

“I would really like to kiss you right now.” She says, searching Janis’ eyes.

Janis grins “Fucking finally” and she lets Regina pull her in. Damian gives himself a round of applause. Gretchen starts tearing up and Karen rushes over to hug her, scared something is wrong. Cady grins and Aaron smiles and Shane and the mathletes whoop from the corner and while Regina rolls her eyes and Janis smirks, they both think... they couldn't have gotten luckier. And then Janis flips them all off and drags Regina outside so they can continue, uninterrupted.

•••

They’re the talk of the school for the next two weeks; “Were you at Aaron’s when Regina expressed her undying love for Janis?” “Dude, watching Regina and Janis make out was like… totally bonkers.” “I really hope they’re happy, but don’t you think that’s a little weird of a combo? Like a year ago didn’t they hate each other?” “I heard Janis Sarkisian put Regina George under a love-spell and now… they’re getting married in Iowa”

Some of the comments are more realistic than others. When Regina George struts down the hall, holding tightly to the hand of her girlfriend, Janis Sarkisian, and kisses her on the cheek when she drops her off at homeroom, she literally could not care less about what anyone has to say; all she can feel, is that she’s finally actually getting her second chance, and she’s not about to mess it up.

[dramallamadingdang]

Replies!

These go back a bit, because...yeah. *sheepish smile* 

For @elfpuddle, @nimitwinklesims, @penig, @acquiresimoleons, @pixelated-world, @holleyberry, @timeparadoxsims, @pensblr, @an-elegant-simblr, @yarerakai, @celebkiriedhel, @mrningbrd, @princess-arystyl21, and @sim-boo. Whew! :) 

elfpuddle replied to your photoset “By request, here is the “invisible” roads default I made to match my...”

In theory, then, a person could replace the road textures for each terrain with the default textures and have no roads anywhere? Does modding out signs and traffic happen only in lush hoods, or would that need to be repeated as well?

Modding out traffic is a global thing. If you put in that mod I linked to, you’ll have no neighborhood traffic in any of your neighborhoods, so long as the mod is in your downloads. You have to manually remove the intersection stop signs, though. (They’re just neighborhood deco, perfectly OK to remove as you would any other piece of deco.) But yes, you can have a road default for each type of terrain in the game and you can have multiple different ones that you can switch in and out, although you can only have one road default for each terrain type in your game at a time. So, if you use Maxis terrains, you’d just need four road defaults (one for each terrain type) with the road “pieces” painted to match the terrain.

I tried to make a road default that just consisted of all empty, transparent textures, the goal being to make it “universal,” with the roads being invisible on any terrain, but it didn’t look right. So, it is what it is, but, yes, you could take that default and replace the images with ones from any terrain you use in your game to make it match those terrains. Then you can switch your road defaults in and out as needed for different neighborhoods. That’s the nice thing about defaults. :)

elfpuddle replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

ICad is not a bad blogger; she needs to take care of herself first and foremost.

Yeah, I know. It just sucks being sort of chronically not-well. I want to do stuff, and the body doesn’t always cooperate. It’d almost be easier if it was always uncooperative, because then I’d get used to it and be resigned to it and learn to live with it, but it isn’t always like that. More often (at least for now) I have energy to spare and feel perfectly healthy, but sometimes I don’t, and I can’t figure out any rhyme or reason to it. If there was a pattern or a cycle to it, like a menstrual cycle sort of thing or if it was related to eating something or not eating something, then I could know what to expect and when. But there isn’t. It’s very frustrating.

Cherish your liver, people! Baby that sucker! 

nimitwinklesims replied to your photo “Ahahahah! A non-ocean (as in no-waves) beach lot! This is something...”

Yay, very cool! As I just built the fisher's shack on a beach lot on a river, I'm just going to pretend the surf comes from the nearby sea... Even though they're on the mouth of the river... Yeah, well. xD But now I know about this trick for next time! \0/

It is a pretty neat thing. And I discovered it completely by accident, too! I just wanted an off-road beach lot, so I did the moving around. I figured that “Beach Lot” option in the Lot Adjuster would turn it into a beach lot, but I figured it’d generate surf, too. But it didn’t, and I was like, “Hey, cool.” But then a test Sim couldn’t swim, and I was like “Bummer!” But then I remembered the beach portals, which I’d used once before, many years ago, on a non-beach lot that edged neighborhood water, and I’m pretty sure that when I used them there, surf was generated. So, I figured the portals would generate surf on this lot, too. But they didn’t, and I was like, “YEEEESSSSSSSS!” *fist pump* Yay, serendipity! :)

penig replied to your photo “And there’s Amelia Shankel, granddaughter of Goopy GilsCarbo and Sandy...”

Maybe the cook used to know her parents and thinks she looks familiar?

Maybe! I mean, it’s the same cook in every dorm, I think, so she would have known Amelia’s parents. And she’ll probably know Amelia’s great-great-great-great-etc.-grandchildren, too. Immortal undead dorm cooks, yay! Maybe that’s how the manage to work 20 hours a day every day without, you know, dying. :)

acquiresimoleons replied to your photo “Aaron GilsCarbo, grandson of Goopy GilsCarbo and Sandy Bruty, all...”

He's fine!

Yeah, he’s definitely the neighborhood’s hottie! :) Too bad he’s gay, ‘cuz those genes really oughtta be passed around. But, perhaps he’ll get himself abducted by aliens at some point. Of course, then his genes will be eaten by the alien’s, but...

pixelated-world replied to your photoset “Sage had opening-of-the household wants to hire a maid and to…buy a...”

"the little mustache makes him look stereotypically French" -> me : (^・ω・^ ) I just laughed so much at this mustache...

I know! I saw that little mustache and my brain just went off and imagined him doing all those silly stereotypical French things, like running around exclaiming, “Zut alors!” every other second. Or saying things like, “But I am le tired!” It’s all the mustache’s fault!

penig replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

Why do you feel guilty about this? We don't want to be a chore!

It’s not guilt so much as regret. I enjoy seeing and commenting on people’s pics and posts. Makes me feel connected to the world, I guess, and when I can’t do it for whatever reason, I just feel regret. Sadness. That sort of thing.

holleyberry replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. No worries about the Dash. Everyone has RL things that happen.

Yeah, I know. It’s just frustrating. I’ve just been really tired, not really sick, per se, but just really, really lethargic, sleeping most of the day if I don’t deliberately keep myself awake. Stupid metabolic issues. I’d sit down at the computer with grand plans to do stuff...and then I find myself nodding off and occasionally literally headdesking. *sigh* It’s been better today, though. And at least I didn’t miss your Dossanina update! :D Which I’ll be off to read when I’m done with this. :)

timeparadoxsims replied to your post “WCIF Simon's hair please? I'm always on the lookout for nice long male...”

It's a conversion by Umi-Sims2 and it's been reuploaded by sims2packrat here: http://sims2packrat.tumblr.com/post/153963303471

Ahhhhh, that’s why I couldn’t find it then! Thank you! Maybe the “Simon’s hair anon” will see this. Or at least hopefully they’ll see your reply on the post. :)

penig replied to your photo “This is generally a house of slobs which is probably why it’s...”

She's keeping her immune system strong. I've found some sloppy kids do dishes out of an apparent desire to show off how grown up and in-charge they are.

Perhaps. Allison is definitely the bolder of the twins. Her brother’s kind of bookish and apparently happy to be up in his room, playing alone, even though he’s just as outgoing. But Allison’s in everyone’s faces all the time. Even the dogs’ faces.

pensblr replied to your photoset “This is a little thing I just made. Usually, I use a different phone...”

Yes! You have no idea how much I was just grumbling to myself about this very issue a couple of weeks ago. Thank you!

You’re welcome! I’ve been grumbling about it for years, off and on...but it only just then occurred to me that, hey, if I can make something be visible in hood view, surely I can make it invisible in hood view, too! Derp......

an-elegant-simblr replied to your photoset “This is a little thing I just made. Usually, I use a different phone...”

It’s very useful really, I hated that phone booth! I use defaults for the lot (before I just hid it under rocks or underground with an OMSP, but I have lots of witches in Strangetown and it was annoying when they arrived and got trapped), but the hood view wasn’t changed and it looked really ugly in the hood view.

Really? It still looks like that in hood view even if you use a default for the phone booth? That’s...annoying. :P But if that’s the case...Yeah, it’s more useful than I thought, then. It kind of sucks, I suppose, not to have any hood view at all rather than a proper one (especially if you use a default), but it’s better than that hideous yellow-and-blue thing screwing up your hood view in a medieval neighborhood or whatever.

yarerakai replied to your photo “Ahahahah! A non-ocean (as in no-waves) beach lot! This is something...”

Many thanks ! Sometimes it annoys me also when my sims live near a river and can't swim in it.

Or, they CAN swim in it, but that’s because it’s a beach lot with the waves and stuff. I didn’t want that. I wanted to be able to put trees right up to the edge and hanging over the water, like a real river. It looks kind of silly if you do that with ocean waves coming in. :p

celebkiriedhel replied to your photoset “Jupiter became an old, fugly dog. <3”

he is looking like he needs a good feed!

Yeah, I know! He always has. Poor thing has a skinny greyhound-type body and a bulky coonhound-type head. The bulk of his head makes his body look even skinnier. Ah, game. *shakes head*

mrningbrd replied to your post “Hey iCad! Are you still thinking about sharing a custom decorated...”

i would die for an icad neighborhood. i wish hoods werent so susceptible to corruption, im sure that would make it easier

*sigh* Yeah, it probably would. Outside of corruption issues, I wouldn’t worry so much about it, but I want to make it a sub-neighborhood template, so that it can be attached to other neighborhoods or be part of an uberhood or whatever. Can’t be that if it has stealth hoods attached to it, itself. :\ One of these days, I’m going to set up a new user account on this machine and test it out. Hopefully, it’ll work... 

princess-arystal21 replied to your photoset “House #1 for the new pseudo-Amish. It’s pretty much done on the...”

It's so....brown.

*laugh* Yes. Yes it is. :) But, that tends to happen with log construction. Unless it’s fake log construction and you have drywall and stuff inside that you can paint. I wanted “real” log construction, though.

sim-boo replied to your photo “When your dog has enough floof to hide in… Jupiter got his licks in,...”

I want a floof dog

I love floof dogs. I have a big, floofy Mastiff/St. Bernard mix, and I love cuddling with her and burying my face in her floof...when she’s clean. Which isn’t all that often. Which is one of the main problems with floof dogs. :) Especially when they really, really don’t like baths and they weigh more than you do. Bathing them is, like, a three-person job and everyone ends up soaked to the skin, not just the dog.

acquiresimoleons replied to your post “Some replies.”

nono not your recolors, the mesh set.

Ohhhhhhh! Maybe? But I didn’t think that Ray posted on MTS. Maybe someone included the meshes with a recolor set, though. Either way, though, it’s a beautiful set. Worth having twice, maybe! Well, OK, not because that doesn’t do you any good, but you know what I mean. :)

[scrapyardboyfriends]

15 June 2017

[The Scrapyard with Aaron, Robert, Adam and Pete] (Me: Yay my url is relevant again!!!)

PETE: *Says something in order to give Adam an opportunity to talk about his failing marriage* - no one really cares what Pete says right? -

ADAM: My marriage is failing! My life is ruined!

AARON: Oh, Adam, enough! We barely get the time to hang out these days due to the fact that the Plot apparently hates our friendship and here you are using the time to be all depressing!

ADAM: Says Mr. Chirpy himself! (Fandom: Yes! A new nickname! Mr. Chirpy and Mr. Shifty sitting in a scrapyard K-I-S-S-I-N-G first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...oh no...I don’t like this song anymore)

AARON: *Slightly Offended Face* *Hey I’d like to be happy if the Plot would only let me be Face*

ROBERT: Right. Adam, you work on your cheerleading routine. Aaron! Come on...it’s shopping time!

AARON: *Wants to avoid that as long as possible face* Give me a second. *Goes into portacabin* Adam, mate! Sort it out if you’re this miserable. Honestly, my Plot is depressing enough without hearing about yours all the time.

ADAM: Speaking of your Plot. Robert actually slept with Rebecca unlike me who only briefly kissed Vanessa before practically running out of there and yet you forgave him and Vic is still giving me the cold shoulder.

AARON: Just talk to her.

ADAM: I’ve tried! We can’t all get a Maxine episode to work out all of our issues!

*Cute banter about freezing and de-icing* - what the hell was that Aaron? -

AARON: Just sort it out. This is driving me crazy. Plus, since our Plots so closely parallel, maybe if your situation works out, mine will too? Also, if you get back with Vic, maybe she’ll stop getting so invested in her BPFF.

ADAM: You’re right. Also, how could she resist this? *Gestures towards self*

AARON: *What did I ever see in you Face*

ADAM: Just going to have to rain down the love, aren’t I?

AARON: *So glad I got over that embarrassing crush on you Face*

[The Woolpack with Adam, Victoria and Zak]

ADAM: Vic! What time are you getting off?

VICTORIA: I’m off in a min - do people really shorten that in conversation? -

ADAM: Great!

VICTORIA: But then I have to go pick up my BPFF...I mean...do some festival stuff…

ADAM: I was really hoping we could talk. I feel like our Plot’s been pretty shafted lately since you got involved in your brother’s Plot...I mean your BPFF’s Plot.

VICTORIA: Much as I would love to discuss our Plot, I have a business to run...really...that’s totally what I’m doing today.

ZAK: Let me help with your business!

VICTORIA: You don’t even know what a vegan is!

ZAK: It was one time!

VICTORIA: WOW ZAK! LEAVE ME ALONE! MY BPFF IS CALLING AND I CARE ABOUT LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW!!!

[The Woolpack with Aaron, Robert and Adam]

ADAM: Yes boys! Come keep me company in my misery! Weren’t you going into town though?

AARON: Yeah, we’ve been.

*Cute banter about shopping* - for the fans (FANDOM: We take what we can get these days)

AARON: So, did you talk to Vic about your Plot? How did it go?

ADAM: Not great. She’s still too wrapped up in yours even though she lied about it. Just too busy getting on with her life apparently.

AARON: Sorry mate. I know my Plot sucks.

ROBERT: There is such a thing as having self respect *Robert Is A Hypocrite Alert*

ADAM: Things are looking up though now you’re back. It almost looks like I have friends now! And even if it is just for the Plot, at least our friendship is based on more than just a need for a pregnancy test.

ROBERT: Actually, we do kind of have plans...of the non Plot variety…

ADAM: Oh...

AARON: We were foolish to try and plan those anyway, Robert. The Plot obviously wants us to stay.

ROBERT: *Why won’t the Plot let me live Face*

AARON: Come on Adam, time to get me drunk. If the Plot wants us here, I reckon we’re going to need it. Also, I’m totally not paying for Plot!Drinks.

[Random car park with Victoria and Rebecca]

VICTORIA: *Drives Diddy Diner Van in an attempt to fool the audience into thinking she was actually doing work* *Sees BPFF* *Smiles* *Squeals* I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO COME AND YOU WERE GOING TO DENY ME A CHANCE TO CONTINUE TO OBSESS OVER THIS BABY!

*Hugs like they’ve been friends for years and not five minutes* (Fandom: *Confused Face*)

REBECCA: Well...I did change my mind a billion times as I usually do...but the Plot wants me here, so here I am.

VICTORIA: I HAVE BEEN DESPERATE TO GET A HOLD OF YOU TO CONTINUE TALKING ABOUT THIS BABY. NO ONE ELSE WILL TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.

REBECCA: I know...I got your tsunami of messages...Don’t you ever do anything besides obsess over my baby? (Fandom: When did Rebecca become the less annoying character of the two?)

VICTORIA: *I didn’t hear a word you just said because all I’m thinking about is babies Face* IT’S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!!!

*Another big hug that looks like they’ve been best friends forever and separated for years instead of two weeks*

[Random park with Victoria and Rebecca]

VICTORIA: So...where were you for the last two weeks which was apparently a lifetime in my head.

REBECCA: Here and there. I don’t have details when they’re not relevant to the Plot. Or friends for that matter. But apparently I slept on some sofas.

VICTORIA: SOFAS! HOW DARE THEY NOT GIVE THE BABY…I mean you….A BED!!!

REBECCA: Sigh...this Plot is a mess. I think...maybe...I’m partially responsible...I don’t know if I’m allowed to admit–

VICTORIA: NOPE! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIT FAULT! YOU’RE HAVING A BABY! THAT HAS ABSOLVED YOU OF ANY GUILT!

REBECCA: *Weird look that will feed the Theories Face*

VICTORIA: You are still having a baby aren’t you? Because that’s the only reason I care about you. So if that’s not a possibility anymore –

REBECCA: No no, I’m still pregnant. Obviously. (Fandom: Obviously?! Really?! Have you been to a doctor yet...besides the one you went to for your stress pains who we never saw who apparently is the most inept doctor ever since they didn’t do a scan! And here we thought Hotten General was a magical place of fast healing. Guess you don’t have to be competent if it’s just the Plot that wants you to get your patients better and out of the hospital) But can’t you see how this Plot has wrecked my character…I mean...head! Everyone’s invested in it. (Fandom: We’re not!) Even the auntie...which really is getting over the top...don’t you think?

VICTORIA: NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! MY BEHAVIOR IS TOTALLY NORMAL!

REBECCA: It’s too much #SpeakingForTheFandom (Fandom: When did she start making sense?) People either desperately want me to have it...like you…

VICTORIA: BABY!

REBECCA: ...Or desperately want me not to (Fandom: Ooh! Ooh! We don’t want you to!) I don’t even feel like it’s my child. It’s just a #PlotDevice for people to engage in discourse over and take sides over that divide the fandom! And it’s not even here yet? Can you imagine what will happen when it is? If there’s even a fandom left by then…

VICTORIA: I’m so sorry - Wow it’s almost like I responded reasonably there. Maybe my character is still salvageable after they scrape it up off the pavement from where that bus ran me over -

REBECCA: I’m sorry too because I’m leaving. (Fandom: Never apologize for that!)

VICTORIA: YOU CAN’T GO BACK TO SLEEPING ON SOFAS! THINK ABOUT THE BABY! - Oh look...the bus is coming back -

REBECCA: I’m moving to Melbourne at the end of the week. (Fandom: That sounds fake...but okay. See ya!)

VICTORIA: I thought you were happy here.

REBECCA: I was until I got dragged into this Plot.

VICTORIA: BUT THIS PLOT BROUGHT YOU A BABY! SO STAY!

REBECCA: But all this Plot does is make me an obstacle for this baby’s father and his husband and they will hate this baby...and so will the fans. I really wanted the fans to like me.

VICTORIA: ROBERT WILL TOTALLY LOVE THIS BABY BECAUSE I WILL MAKE HIM...OKAY?

REBECCA: I want to do this on my own terms.

VICTORIA: THE PLOT AND I WON’T LET YOU!

REBECCA: And then there’s my family…

VICTORIA: I DON’T CARE BEX! THIS IS YOUR BABY! YOURS! REALLY! I TOTALLY KNOW THAT IT’S YOUR BABY AND NOT MINE BECAUSE I’M TOTALLY NOT PROJECTING AT ALL! YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER! HONESTLY! EXCEPT I’M TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE YOU DO WHAT I WANT BECAUSE THE PLOT HATES ME RIGHT NOW AND APPARENTLY WANTS TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A LUNATIC SO THAT YOU SOMEHOW COME OFF AS THE RATIONAL ONE AND THE AUDIENCE WILL WARM TO YOU FINALLY.

REBECCA: *Blink* *Blink* *Blink* *Blink* *Can I blink myself out of this Plot Face*

[The Woolpack with Aaron, Robert and Adam + Bonus Background Marlon]

*Boys Playing Darts* - Please let Aaron actually join in!

*Aaron and Marlon having a very animated hand gesture conversation in the background* (Fandom: We would love to know what they’re discussing)

ADAM: I’m really hot! Vic totally still fancies me!

ROBERT: *Laughs hysterically* Vic doesn’t care about you! She only cares about my unborn child!

ADAM: Not many women would kick this out of bed!

ROBERT: I would...but I digress. I hear you’ve been dumped by pretty much every girl you’ve been out with.

ADAM: Come on Rob! I need her back! And you want her out of your Plot and all!

ROBERT: You snogged Vanessa. I’m the last person that’s going to give you a recommendation. You’re a car crash. *Robert Is REALLY A Hypocrite Alert*

ADAM: *Points out that Robert is a complete and total hypocrite* You’re married to my best mate and you got Rebecca pregnant!

AARON: Hey remember me? I’m totally right here, getting your drinks. And you’re both equal screw ups when it comes to relationships. Deal with it. I apparently am...really well...is it the Plot or am I actually still going to counseling?

ROBERT: *To Adam* And you wonder why I’m not going to help you get back with Vic. *Robert Is STILL a Hypocrite Alert*

AARON: *I want out of this Plot Face*

[The Woolpack with Chrissie, Lawrence, Robert, Adam, Aaron, Victoria and Rebecca]

*Boys playing darts* *Clear view of Robert’s elbow patches* *It’s the ssw shirt!*

CHRISSIE: I don’t know how much longer I can sit here and watch that sickening oxygen thief #SnarkyChrissieIsTheBestChrissie

LAWRENCE: We’ll leave this Plot soon. Lucky needs some comforting over his gross virginity Plot with Belle. #LetSerialKillerLachlanRise

*Boys playing darts* *Robert failing at darts* *Adam broing down with Robert and hitting him on the back of the head and shoving him* *Quality Trash Talking Robert Banter* - for the fans

ROBERT: Stop crashing our date! If it weren’t for you, we could be escaping the Plot right now!

ADAM: Vic and I used to go out on dates…

AARON: Oh hi...still here...Adam you’re an idiot.

ROBERT: *Eats cheese and onion crisps with his sleeves rolled up* - for the fans - (Fandom: Look...we’re desperate here!)

ADAM: *Sad Face*

ROBERT: What? Cheese and onion Vic’s favorite as well?

ADAM: I’m heartbroken here. Have some sympathy!

*Victoria and Rebecca walk in*

ADAM: Vic!

ROBERT: *Apparently too absorbed in his cheese and onion crisps to notice who’s walked in* JUST GET OVER HER MATE!

*Robert and Aaron see Rebecca*

ROBERT: *Guilty Face* - I really thought I was done with that one -

AARON: *I fucking hate this Plot Face*

CHRISSIE: Rebecca! Oh is that why we’re still in the pub?!

[The Woolpack with Rebecca, Chrissie, Lawrence, Victoria, Adam and Marlon]

CHRISSIE: Why didn’t you tell us you were coming back?

VICTORIA: She only decided an hour ago because I forced her into it. But it was totally her decision.

MARLON: Oi! Can you keep your nose out of other people’s Plots and do some work!

VICTORIA: I can be in whatever Plot I want Marlon! Calm yourself!

ADAM: *Exists*

VICTORIA: Adam, not now!

LAWRENCE: It’s so great to have you back! Now maybe the Plot can move forward!

CHRISSIE: Yes! How are things with the baby?

REBECCA: Great! As great as they can be when you’ve never been to a proper doctor’s appointment!

LAWRENCE: And you are sticking around this time? Until the next time they need this Plot to be off screen at least?

REBECCA: Yes…

CHRISSIE: You can always stay with me...which is mildly ridiculous because there’s no set for my house so I’m always at Home Farm anyway. But you can totally still stay…

REBECCA: Actually I’m moving in with my BPFF, Victoria.

CHRISSIE: Why the hell would you do that? #SpeakingForTheFandom

REBECCA: I just really want to do this on my own terms...well Victoria’s terms really but who’s really paying attention to that…

CHRISSIE: Well...whatever Victoria wants…

[The Woolpack with Robert, Aaron, Adam, Victoria, Rebecca + Bonus Pierce and the Police]

*Pierce getting arrested in the background* (Fandom: It’s about damn time! Stupid block storytelling!)

ADAM: *Staring at Rebecca* Well now I’ll never be able to move back in! Your Plot is ruining everything boys!

ROBERT: Or maybe your Plot ruined everything when it made you snog Vanessa. *Robert Is STILL Being A MASSIVE Hypocrite*

VICTORIA: *To Rebecca* HERE! EAT THIS FOOD! I WON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER! I’M GOING TO CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE FROM NOW ON!

Rebecca: *What did I get myself into Face* Oh goodie!

*Adam, Aaron and Robert looking depressed as fuck in the background*

VICTORIA: Eugh! Look at those three people that I used to care about more than anything! Now I only care about you, my BPFF, and the baby that is totally yours...yes...definitely yours and not mine.

*Back at the bar*

AARON: Are you sure you’re okay? - Look at me still being considerate even though no one has asked how I feel lately -

ROBERT: Just stop asking me that! - Look at me totally being a jerk to my husband because I’m totally freaking out that she’s back. Why couldn’t she just stay away. - Is anyone serving here?

AARON: I literally only asked once Robert. And I guess you are bothered.

ROBERT: Can you just get off my case! I’m assuming you totally have asked me this a hundred times off screen because otherwise my reaction makes no sense. Also...let me state again for the people in the back, namely my sister, that I’m totally okay with Rebecca doing this on her own.

(Fandom: Let’s go back to watching Pierce get arrested. That Plot is still good. Proud of you Rhona!)

[whydoyouwantmyname]

Imagine finally going home to Carl....

I Wrote a part three.... I did it guys!

Part One

Part Two

You sat in the bedroom Negan had provided you, looking at the latest book he gave you, hoping it would help occupy your time.... unaware the books didn’t fill your time, but your memories did, mostly the one’s you had with Carl....

 It had been so long that you were in this bedroom, you had forgotten what the outside even looked like. 

 There were two times Negan came in to your prison looking sour though, normally he would come to you and tell you about his day, or tell you a story from his past life... But those two days he was cross. 

"Well Well well... Looks like our mutual friend has flown the coop. Funny how he found stealing a jar of my peanut butter far more interestin' then savin' you." His voice boomed in the small space as your eyes focused on the corner away from him, however you knew his facial features wouldn't match his voice. He was pissed. 

"Funny how you said you would let me go too and yet here I sit still." You answered back with a sassy tone, your eyes never meeting his face as he scoffed, and left the room, knowing that was the only attitude he would get out of you. 

"Did ya hear all the gunfire last night?" His voice was harsh, as he entered the dull room with Lucille over his shoulder. 

"Yes sir. Figured it was just Simon playing a little game with some other prisoner." You retorted as he pulled the desk chair around so that the back was facing you, he lifted one leg over and sat down, one arm over the back as he glared you down. 

 "No. See now that is where you are wrong. Seems that your little boyfriend decided that he wanted to pull a rescue mission, save his little girl last night. However seeing how you are still here..." 

"I swear if you so much as hurt a single bone in his body..." You growled as Negan smiled, sending a shiver up your spine. 

"I would never dream of it. Why I was quite impressed by his performance. Hell I wish Carl was my own son. I simply just brought the boy back to his father, and told him if he ever wanted to see ya again he better behave himself." 

 "You took him back?" 

"Yes ma'am. I must say there is only one flaw in that boy, and last night I found it a real annoyance. See he seemed to think that after comin' in here and shooting up the place he earned the right to ask my men over 67 times if he could see ya. The boy would be a real warrior, if his only weakness wasn't you." 

A scoff rose up in your throat as you looked at the aging man before you, "you are wrong." 

 "I wish I was sweetie." He smiled again before pushing off the chair and slammed the door behind him as he exited. 

 Today however was a happy day.... 

 "Guess who is finally gonna go see her home?" Negan boomed in the early morning as he barged into the dull space. 

 "Negan.... What are you talking about?" You groaned sleepily as he laid beside you, arms under his head as he stared at the ceiling. 

"Well I figured I could use ya' today, as a form of leverage, prove I kept my word on keepin' you alive and well. I can't use Eugene cause hell he might as well have been one of us this whole time. And Sasha, well I don't know how she feels about me yet, who knows she might just say no to my offer to go home. But you.... You are Carl Grimes's southern bell, the apple of his eye, the owner of his vcard, and probably someone who is special to Rick too, seeing how you are the only hope of his son being happy.”

“So what, you take me there, make ‘em think you are finally returning me after our little show in the RV, and that they won’t want to put a bullet in your eyes for keeping me for so long. For torturing Daryl. For killing Glenn and Abraham. Or for the rest of the shit you have done?”

“Not as long as I have a gun to your pretty little head.” He smiled at the ceiling, “Now I suggest you get the fuck up, and get something nice on. Today is a BIG day.” And with that he rolled off your bed as you kept repeating in your mind, ‘I’m going home.’

“I am Negan.” You heard Eugene say into the megaphone as you watched from tinted windows, your eyes glued on to the one which belonged to the aging man who stood on the watch tower you sat upon when Carl asked you out. He looked weary, and it broke your heart knowing that the entire reasoning behind this was because of the man sitting beside you.

“Now sweetheart. I’m going to go out there first, and when I give you the signal....”

“I go out there, and you put a gun to my head, after revealing Sasha is unharmed in the casket.” You blankly said, your tone monotone as he smiled.

“You might not see it now Sweetheart, but this is for their own good, I wanna show them....”

“Just how broken they can get.” 

“Damn! I am gonna miss you.” He grinned as he threw open the door, leaving you in the truck, unsupervised.

Once he was away from the truck, and everyone’s attention was turned towards him and the unopened casket on the truck bed you slowly opened the door which you sat behind, and softly slid out of the truck, looking back and forth before quickly and silently making a break for the woods. It was there where you followed the fence, looking for....

“OH PRINCESS! YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!” You heard him scream, sure that he was now looking at the truck, and noticing the opened door....

“Where is she?” 

“I swear sir she was in the truck.”

“Well where is she....”

“You have [Y/N]?” You knew that was Rick, and you knew at the sound of your name everyone in the gates would know what it meant, and you could only imagine the look on Carl’s face, and while you wanted to listen to the conversation you knew you couldn’t right now, seeing how....

“FIND HER!” Negan screamed as you quickened your pace, knowing it wasn’t far. And then.....

“Carl I gotta show ya something.” You said as you walked into the room, your heart dropping at the sight of him sitting with Enid on the bed.

“Yeah. What is it?” He answered, as Enid turned and scowled at you, as you shifted uncomfortably

“Sorry I didn’t know you had...”

“Oh no, Enid was just leaving.” He answered as Enid’s head whipped around and she sighed loudly, before rushing out of the room.

“She seemed pissed.” You replied as Carl smiled.

“She’ll get over it. Now what did ya wanna show me?” 

“Oh, I found a way for us to get in the woods, without these insane people knowing.”

“No way, I gotta see this.” He excitedly answered as he jumped up, as you smiled and rushed down the stairs, knowing Carl was rushing behind you.

And it was today that you found the entrance again, thankful it wasn’t patched over when the wall was reconstructed. As you got on the forest floor and crawled through you looked at the house of Aaron and Eric, and hurried towards the back door, praying no one would notice you. As you softly shut the back door to the house, you heard the sound of gunfire, wondering if it came from inside the fence or on the outside. You slowly started up the stairs of Aaron and Eric’s house you knew you would have to hide in one of the guest bedrooms, knowing the one closest to the bathroom would have the best view of the square.You softly stalked into the room and climbed onto the bed, looking out the window in time to see Negan pointing Lucille at Rick and Carl, all the Saviors standing behind him. However there was no sign of Sasha, but the observation was quickly pushed aside when you saw the old, worn, dark brown sheriff hat.

The sight of his back caused your heart to flutter, your breath became caught in your throat, and your palms became clammy. It was like something you would see in a romance movie, and you were overjoyed to see that he was at least whole. However it only lasted a second before becoming dread as you watched Lucille get pointed at Carl, while Negan pointed towards the field between the houses, the one which you almost forgot about....

“Babe.” Carl softly whispered as he shook your shoulder, a soft groan leaving your throat as he did. 

“Babe.” He repeated, as you replied with a groan again, “I know you are awake now babe, so why not you point those beautiful [Y/C/E]s towards me.”

You slowly rolled over, and opened your eyes to the still dark room, your eyes landing on the bare chest and smiling face of Carl Grimes as his own blue eye stared down at you, a twinkle in them both as you groaned, “Babe, it isn’t even sunrise yet.” 

“I know, but I want to do something.” He sounded like an excited child, which was a rare tone for Carl to have, for so long now most people had heard him bear a very mature tone, as though he was an adult, even though he was 16.

“And you couldn’t have told me before I went to bed, and slept?” You smiled as he looked at you apologetically. 

“Sorry about that one. Now lets goooooo.” He whined as your eyes rolled with a giggle.

Five minutes later you had both managed to get out of the front door of the house without alerting any of the members in the home, and were now wandering hand in hand down the street of Alexandria, the moon and a flashlight lighting your path.

“So you woke me up just to walk me down the street?” You asked as you gripped the blanket closer to your chest.

“I mean this is just the second part of the plan, we thankfully got through the first part and got out of the house. Turn here.” He instructed as you turned between the house of some citizens of Alexandria, and into an empty field of overgrown grass.

“Oh look love, some tall grass.” You mockingly whispered as you walked by the houses, as Carl chuckled.

“Just you wait for what else you are going to see. Now close your eyes.” He whispered as he took the blanket from you, your eyelids slowly falling over your eyeballs, “And don’t peek.”

“Why, scared I will see some more tall grass.” you joked as you heard the sounds of the blanket, and felt his hands wrap around your arms, slowly lowering you until your legs met the soft fabric of the blanket, his hand then lightly pressing your shoulder as your upper body also joined the blanket. you then heard the thud of a body lay next to you and felt Carl’s fingers entangle yours. 

“Okay, open.” He whispered into your ear in a hot breath as you opened your eyes to the black blanket of the sky and looked at all the twinkling stars above. Your breathe taken away as you took in the sight of the sky.

“I know it is nothing special but I feel like with the way the world is right now, neither of us have taken the time to look and see that there is still some beautiful things in the world.”

“I see beauty in the world everyday Carl, all I gotta do is look at you.” you smiled looking at his once smiling face, which was now blushing. 

“I also was hoping I could take ya out here tonight and tell ya that I love you.” He whispered as your eyes widened.

“You love me? Even though I am annoying?”

“yes.”

“And always steal the last of the chocolate pudding.”

“Yes.”

“And insist on wearing the hat sometimes when it is too hot?”

“Yes.”

“And steal all the....”

“I love you and all the little things you do, even if I say I hate them.”

“Well I love you too Grimes, even if you did wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me.” you smiled as you leaned forward, both of your lips inching closer and closer and then....

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a tiger roaring, and the screams of men. As you looked out the window you saw everyone running around in the street, guns rapidly firing everywhere. The sight of the battle below caused a fire to burn in your gut, as you quickly leapt into action, running once more out the back door. 

When you reached the front of the house you noticed that a bloody rifle laid on the corpse of a man, he seemed to belong to the Saviors. You wasted no time collecting the weapon quickly and aiming it to shot whomever you recognized as a Savior. 

You got 6 good shots in, each one dropping a man or woman, before the smoke grenades came in, the smoke cloaking the streets as the Saviors and their allies fled. You aimed again, and pulled the trigger, however nothing happened, causing you to quickly discard the weapon and start toward another body you dropped, take the weapon, and follow the crowd after truck. You noticed the trailer and figured if you were to get a good shot on them, this was the best spot. You quickly climbed up the side, and when you reached the top, had a gun pointed in your face.

[jornami]

Life Doesn’t Hesitate

A/N: Part two of “Stuck to this Corner Like a Streetlight!” I loved writing this one, so I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. With that being said, I present to you, “Life Doesn’t Hesitate!” And before you say it, I KNOW THE LYRIC IS “LIFE DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE” BUT I “LIFE DOESN’T HESITATE” SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER AND IT FITS THIS BETTER.

Pairing: Lin x reader

Summary: You bake cupcakes for Lin’s opening nights and he gives you tickets to the show. It's enough until it isn't.

Warnings: sadness, cursing, angst

Tagged: @congratsonhamlet @icetitan245 @plamspringsdancingontables @mcuiimagines @itsjaynebird @butlinislin @ahhhhamilton @tailored-shirt-tails @ohhothamthisismyjam @xomullenxo @hell-yes-puns-and-ships @fueled-by-space @always-blame-jefferson

Masterlist | Request! | Part 1

July 29, 2015 “So,” Lin began, snapping you out of your daze. “can you do it?”

You looked down at the soft, velvet box in his hand then at the bright, optimistic smile on his face. You wanted to cry.

“Of course!” you told him with fake enthusiasm. “When were you thinking of proposing?”

“Sunday over dinner,” he told you, “I have it all planned out! I'm going to get us a private table at her favorite restaurant with dimmed lights and candles. Then, when she wants to order dessert, I'm gonna make up some excuse and tell her I want to save money or something. Then, I’m going to give her the cupcake and BAM! RING!”

You giggled at his enthusiasm; he's just so damn cute when he's excited.

“Well, Mr. Show Off, I'll have your proposal cupcake ready for pickup on Sunday,” you told him.

“Here,” he said and handed you the box. “I hope she likes it.”

“I'm sure she will,” you reassure him, holding back the tears. “I'll see you on Sunday.”

“Until then,” he said with that award winning smile of his.

You waited until he walked out to take a peek at the ring. Holy shit, it was a rock. You hate to admit it, but you contemplated slipping it on for a second. You decided with your better judgement and closed the box.

“It belongs on my finger,” you thought selfishly.

And just like that, all the tears you were holding back clouded your vision. Sobs wracked your body and you put your head in your hands.

“Y/N, what's wrong?” Charlotte asked, clearly worried by your sudden outburst of tears.

“L-Lin’s proposing to his g-girlfriend,” you said through broken sobs.

“Oh pumpkin,” she cooed, “it's okay, if it's meant to be you'll find your way back to each other.”

Maybe she was right, but you wanted Lin and you wanted him now. The thought of him with another girl made your stomach turn.

July 31, 2015

You put the finishing touches on the cupcake for Lin’s proposal and put in a pretty mint-green box with your bakery’s name on it.

“You okay?” Charlotte asked, rubbing your back.

“I'm fine,” you lied.

“Okay, well, I'm gonna head out, but don't hesitate to call me if you need anything,” she told you.

“Thanks, Char,” you said sincerely and off she went.

A few seconds later, your favorite playwright came bouncing through the door.

“Hey, I just finished making it!” you told him as he walked up to the counter.

“You're a godsend!” he praised.

You giggled and roll your eyes. You reached over and grabbed the cupcake box then handed it to Lin.

“Do you think she'll like? What if I mess up? What if she says no?” Lin rambled, running his fingers through his hair.

“She’d have to be a fool to say no, and if she does I'll gladly marry you,” you smiled warmly to reassure him.

He laughed at what you said; it wasn't a joke.

“I guess you're right.” he agreed and picked up the cupcake box. “Thanks, Y/N. you always know what to say to calm me down.”

“Anytime, now go! You're going to be late!” you chuckled.

He glanced down at his watch, “You're right! I'll see you on the sixth!”

“Until then,” you said, using his famous line.

He flashed you a smile that made your heart melt. One more reason you wished he was yours.

August 6, 2015

“Done!” you exhaled as you put the last cupcake in the box.

Over the past eight days, you, Charlotte, and everyone in the shop worked together to make 20 dozen cupcakes. That's right, 20 dozen cupcakes, that's a total 240 cupcakes. Chocolate, vanilla, red velvet, and every other flavor under the sun. You were incredibly exhausted, but also very proud of your work. You put the last box of cupcakes in your truck and closed the trunk. You hopped in the driver’s seat and looked at the address that Lin sent to you before you drove off. For the first time it wasn’t at the place the show was. This time it was at the Mots Aléatoires Hotel, which was one of the fanciest hotels in New York City. You were so proud of him. He went from small after parties backstage to after parties in extravagant hotels with A-list celebrities.

“I’m outside, Miranda. Bring Chris, I need as much help as I can get.”

On my way. :)

A minute later, Lin, Chris, and a girl you've never seen before came out of the hotel. Was that her?

“Hey, Y/N! This is Phillipa Soo, she plays Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton.” Lin introduced the mystery girl.

A weight was lifted off your shoulders knowing she wasn't Vanessa.

“Nice to meet you, and please call me Pippa!” the girl said sweetly as she shook your hand. “Lin goes on tangents about your cupcakes, I can't wait to try one!”

“Nice to meet you too!” you said, “Alright, so in this trunk there are twenty boxes of cupcakes. Everyone grab two to start with.”

After several trips, all the cupcakes were inside. Chris and Pippa sat down the last boxes of cupcakes then left to go get ready for the show. Time to ask the inevitable.

“So,” you began hesitantly, “how did the proposal go?”

“She said ‘yes!’” Lin exclaimed.

Yay.

“Lin, that's great!” you lied like a pro, “I'm so happy for you!”

“It's all because of you that it went so smoothly,” Lin said genuinely.

“I’d do anything for you, Lin. You know that,” you told him sincerely as you looked at the ground.

You took just stared at each other for a minute. There was something broken in his eyes. Almost as if he desperately wanted to tell you something. You dismissed it, you were probably overreacting or your mind was playing cruel tricks on you.

“Your total is 243.50,” you said awkwardly, trying to ease some of the tension in the room.

“Uh, yeah, right.” Lin stumbled over his sentences. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, see you tonight!” You said in a hurry and started to walk away.

“Wait, Y/N!” he called after you.

“Yeah?” you asked sheepishly.

“You can't see me tonight without tickets,” he smirked and held up the tickets.

You chuckled and walked back over to get them.

“Thanks,” you smiled.

“You and Charlotte need to wear something nice!”

“Why?”

“The after party, duh.”

You rolled your eyes, “See you tonight, Lin.”

You picked up Charlotte and you headed to the Richard Rodgers. You and Char were absolutely starstruck when you saw all the celebrities outside of the theater. You and her vowed to stick together and then she saw Luke Evans and ditched you to introduce herself. Typical Charlotte. You managed to strike up a conversation with Aaron Tveit. He was so charming, not to mention a huge flirt.

“You may now enter the theater,” a voice over a megaphone announced.

“I have to catch up with my friend, but maybe I'll see you later,” you told him and he winked.

You met up with Charlotte then you walked to your seats where you waited until the show started. When it finally began, you loved every minute of it. All of the songs were amazing, but “The Schuyler Sisters” had to be your favorite. You were all smiles and giggles until “Satisfied.” That's when the tears began.

“But Alexander, I’ll never forget the first time I saw your face.”

You'll never forget the first time you saw Lin. Despite his tired eyes and the bags under them, he wore the biggest smile on his face. A smile that became one of your favorite things about him over time.

“I'll never be satisfied.”

You wanted Lin. Dare you say, needed him. You knew from the minute he walked into your life he was the love of your life. But now with him engaged to Vanessa, you knew he was completely unattainable.

You squeezed Charlotte’s hand so tight she almost passed out.

“We can leave at anytime,” she whispered as she rubbed your back. “tell Lin an emergency came up.”

You shook your head, and told her you had to stay; it was important to Lin that you were there. You wiped your eyes and tried to calm down. Then “Wait For It” started. The song was just a constant reminder that you waited too long.

“‘Life doesn't hesitate.’ You got that right.” you thought to yourself.

By the end of the song you cried out all your tears. You sat back in your seat and prayed that intermission would come soon.

As soon as the lights came up for intermission you got a text from Lin.

Come backstage, I have someone I want you to meet. :)

You told Charlotte that you'd meet back up with her at your seat before act II. You already knew who Lin wanted you to meet, and granted you didn't want to; however, you couldn’t avoid it forever.

You knocked on the door of Lin’s dressing room and heard him yell, “Come in!”

You opened the door to his dressing room and saw him buttoning his shirt. You looked around but surprisingly you didn't see her.

“So how do you like it so far?” he asked, fumbling with a button.

“It's great! The cast is amazing and the songs are even better,” you complimented shamelessly.

You noticed Lin still fumbling with that same button and you chuckled.

“Lin, c’mere, let me help you,” you told him and he smiled at you sympathetically.

You button from bottom to top and stopped at his collar to straighten it out.

“There you go,” you said and stared into his eyes.

Kiss me.

“Thanks,” he breathed.

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.

You two couldn't possibly get any closer. You pressed your foreheads together and…

“Hey, baby!” you heard a chirpy voice sing from behind you.

You nearly jumped two feet in the air, and Lin cleared his throat and went over to kiss her.

“Y/N, this Vanessa!” he said.

“Vanessa.” she reclarified as she shook your hand.

“Y/N.” you discreetly looked down at the ring on her finger and you felt the knife drive deeper into your heart.

“The cupcake was amazing!” she complimented.

“Thanks!” you said with a fake smile.

“I saw you talking to Tveit earlier,” Lin spoke up, wiggling his eyebrows. “he really seemed to like you. Maybe you'll see him at the after party.”

“But he's not you, Lin.” You thought to yourself.

“He's a charmer!” you said awkwardly.

“Five minutes to place.” a voice said, saving you from the sheer awkwardness of the encounter.

“I'll see you two later!” you dismissed yourself.

You went back to your seat where Charlotte was waiting for you.

“How was it?” she asked.

“Awkward,” was all you said before the lights dimmed for act two.

December 24, 2015 You hadn't seen Lin at all after the opening night of Hamilton. He was busy with Hamilton and you were busy trying to avoid him. You avoided him because every time you saw him it was a reminder of what you could never have.

“Hey, stranger!” he said as he walked into your bakery.

“Hey, Lin,” you deadpanned.

“What no ‘how's my favorite playwright?’” he asked incredulously.

“Sorry, I'm just not up for it today.” you told him.

“Well,” he began, testing the waters. “I wanted to give you this.”

He handed you a deep red envelope with a silver wax seal on it. A wedding invitation. Now, you really wanted to scream.

“It's a wedding invitation,” he said.

“I know,” you mumbled.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, angry flooding his voice.

“I love you and you're marrying someone else!” you wanted to scream.

“Nothing's wrong Lin,” you said expressionlessly. “I'll be there.”

“Until then,” he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

You watched as he stormed out the door.

You chuckled bitterly to yourself,  “Am I really starting to resent him for loving another girl?”

May 16, 2016 So there you were, getting ready to go to the love of your life’s wedding and you weren't the one walking down the aisle.

You saw Charlotte's reflection in the mirror as she walked up behind you.

“You ready?” she asked.

“As ready as I'll ever be,” you smiled weakly.

She wrapped her arm around you and you both walk out to your car.

“Here goes nothing.” you thought to yourself.

You arrived at the place where the wedding was being held. It was called the “Meadowhampton Inn” and it was in upstate New York. It had a Victorian era look to it and when you pulled up it smelt like freshly cut grass. You and Charlotte got out of the car and walked in. Charlotte gave the inn worker at the front desk your names while you looked around. There was a bar that you knew you were going to be drinking at later. Probably to drink away your all troubles and feelings.

“Y/N!” Chris called as he walked down the steps. “Finally you're here! Lin’s been looking for you.”

“Is everything okay?” you asked him as you followed him up the steps.

“I don't know, he’s refusing to talk to anyone but you,” he explained.

What could possibly be wrong that only you could fix?

“He's in here,” Chris told you, gesturing to a suite.

You thanked him and lightly knocked on the door.

“Lin, it's me, Y/N,” you said.

You heard a lock twist and you opened the door to see Lin frantically pacing back and forth.

“I can't do this,” he said cryptically.

“Lin, what do you mean?” you asked.

“I don't love her,” he said and your heart dropped into your stomach.

You weren't quite sure what to say. Were you supposed to reassure him?

“What do you mean, Lin? Of course you love her!” you finally said.

“No, I don't! I love you!” he shouted.

“Lin, I-”

“I’ve always loved you, but I was always so scared to tell you how I feel. You're right, I do love Vanessa, but I'll never love her the way I love you,” he said.

You felt like the word was spinning and the ground beneath you was going to swallow you. You plopped down on the sofa and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Y/N, say something, please!” Lin panicked.

“I love you too,”  was all you managed to say.

“So let’s run away!” he suggested on impulse. “We can get in a car, and drive far away from here.”

“Lin, you can't do that!” you said, ripping away from his grasp. “That poor girl will be crushed! Go through with the ceremony and we'll talk about this after.”

You got up from the sofa and walked towards the door. You couldn't do this right now.

“Y/N, wait,” Lin’s voiced cracked.

“I'll see you later, Lin,” you said and walked out the door.

You made your way to the room where the ceremony was being held. You sat down next to Charlotte who asked why you were crying. You waved her off and told her you'd tell her after the ceremony. You looked at Lin and saw the nervous look plastered on his face.

“Why does he look so nervous?” one of Lin’s family members whispered to the person sitting next to them.

“No idea,” the person responded.

Oh, if only they knew.

A bell chimed and Vanessa began to walk down the aisle with her father. Chris tapped Lin on the shoulder to snap him out of his daze. Lin straighten out his tuxedo and looked at Vanessa with a smile. A fake one at that. Vanessa joined Lin at the altar and they held hands.

“Does anyone object to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the priest announced.

“Now’s your chance,” Char whispered and you smacked her hand playfully.

“If there are no objections, we shall continue,” the priest said. “Vanessa Nadal do you take Lin-Manuel Miranda to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” she smiled.

“And Lin-Manuel Miranda do you take Vanessa Nadal to be your lawfully wedded wife?” the priest asked.

Lin hesitated for a second and Vanessa’s smile began to falter.

“I don't,” Lin finally said and the whole crowd gasped. “I'm sorry, I love someone else.”

Lin let go of Vanessa’s hands and ran out of the room. You immediately got up and ran after him, leaving nothing to the crowd’s imagination about who Lin was talking about when he said he loved someone else. Lin ran all the way out of the building to his car.

“Get in!” Lin shouted across the parking lot.

“What?” you called.

“You heard me, get in!” he repeated.

That's all it took, and you were across the parking lot.

“This is crazy!” you giggled.

“I like crazy,” he smiled and smashed his lip onto yours.

You and Lin drove for hours, but when the three hour mark hit the initially high started to wear off and the panic started to set in.

“Lin?” you mumbled.

“Yeah?” he asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

“Pull over,” you told him.

“Why? What's wrong?” he asked in concerned tone as he pulled over the car.

“I feel like I'm gonna be sick,” you whimpered as you opened the car door.

You got out of the car and started pacing back and forth. You felt the hot tears rush down your cheeks.

“This was a mistake,” you repeated over and over again.

Lin knew what was happening; you were having an anxiety attack.

“Cariña, look at me,” Lin spoke softly as he caressed your cheeks. “this is just the anxiety talking. Maybe it was messy to leave someone at the altar, but even the best laid plans go awry. Yes, we’ll have a lot of explaining to do when we get back home, but let's relish this day as the first day we told each other the truth. Plus, we'll have a great story to tell our kids!”

You chuckled at his spiel and kissed him passionately. After all, he was right.

You two were exactly where you were supposed to be.

[amlugnis]

Smile More

A roleplay between a friend of mine and I via email. She was playing Burr, myself as F!Lafayette (as usual). A little side note though: F!Laf is referred to as Marie because Panther is not going to change Gilbert’s name if there’s already ‘Marie’ in Laffy Taffy’s name.

These are actual responses, I did not bother changing anything.

Tagging @pinkmagic24 @jogn-laurens @puffballsushi @tisjustmeh @werewolfcries because I think you guys would enjoy it. A special mention to @emrlde whom became quite a fan for this (Joan u fabu u)

Shipping: Burrette (BurrxLafayette)

Summary: Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints.

Chapter Summary: They meet again and Burr followed Marie’s advise.

Chapter Two: Underneath the Moonlight

Marie sat by her friends. She and a few others witnessed the unity between Mademoiselle Eliza Schuyler and Monsieur Hamilton. Hercules and John were already drunk off their arses, singing a merry song in their slurred speech which Lafayette could not help but laugh. She wore a dress for the second time, first was during the Winter's Ball. The only thing that remained the same was the way she tied her hair and her everlasting smile. After Angelica had her speech, the bride and groom danced along to the music and soon many others joined in. John disappeared and Hercules was dancing with another woman. There were men approaching her, asking her to dance with them but she only politely rejected them.

Aaron wasn't going to show. He really wasn't; he planned on telling Alexander his congratulations the next time they met, and he hadn't planned on it being tonight. He arrived shortly after the eldest sister gave her speech, and was currently keeping to himself. He was on one drink, and would keep it that way for a while. He didn't feel like overly drinking. Aaron was dressed in uniform as most of the soldiers were, and he stayed to the side of the ballroom as his eyes glanced around curiously. 

Time passed, Marie found nothing to be done in the wedding and stood from her seat. She went to Alexander and Eliza to whisper her good wishes for the couple. They both embraced her before she went off. Perhaps she could find Monsieur Laurens on her way out, she thought. She took her coat and placed it on her before taking the door, heading out. The entire time, she did not see Aaron Burr.

He hoped he'd suffice; he wasn't Laurens, but had caught a glimpse of her. And when he did, he found a familiar smile spreading into his face. She look breathtaking; he sighed softly as he set his drink down. She was departing, and that made him frown slightly, but he'd feel bad if he didn't at least say hello, and goodbye, before she did so. He made a glance to the couple; he'd be back later. He'd have to wish them well. In the meantime, however, he took a chance and followed Marie outside, managing to tap her shoulder, "I'm rather late, for sure, but I couldn't help but notice you, Ms. Lafayette." His words were soft, and a bit of regret was in them. After all, he hadn't noticed her until she was already out the door. "And I apologize it wasn't sooner." He added. It dawned upon him that he was more than likely not a concern of hers, and very well may be making a fool of himself. But he tried not to dwell on that fact.

Marie almost threw a punch at whomever tapped her shoulder but only stopped herself when she turned and met Monsieur Burr's face. She immediately put her fist down, chuckling nervously. "Je suis désolé." She muttered, observing the man before her. Had he always been this handsome in his uniform? How could that escape Lafayette's eyes before? She folded her arms, "Monsieur Burr, it's all right if you're late. Why are you apologizing to moi? I'm not the one getting married." She laughed. Her finger swiped the corner of his mouth, "You've been drinking, oui?"

The near punch  almost made burr flinch, but he refrained. He was just grateful the Frenchwoman had put the fist down. Yeah, perhaps he should have spoken up sooner? He was close to having a injured nose. He let out a soft chuckle, "Sorry for startling you, Marie." he said, eyes following the finger she ran over the corner of his mouth, "I had a couple drinks, sure." He answered with a gentle shrug. The plan was to just have one drink, but it changed to perhaps three. "And as far as the newly weds, well, they certainly won't miss me for the moment. They're preoccupied with themselves and their other guests." 

Marie chuckled slightly, pulling her hand away from Burr. "Have you said your wishes to them?" asked she. The cold breeze hit her and she wrapped her coat around her tightly. It did nothing so she buttoned the first few buttons. She rubbed her hands on her upper arms. "The night is cold, reminds me of Chavaniac." She said. 

"I plan on it, perhaps a bit later when guest thin out more." He assured her, making a glance behind him in the direction of the others. Then he was back to looking at her, listening to her describe the cold. He chewed the inside of his lip a little, "Would you like to borrow my coat? I'd hate for you to be too cold." He offered he courteously.

Marie looked over his shoulder and watched how happy Eliza and Alexander were. Deep down, Marie wanted someone she could be happy with as well. But with her image as a woman whom fights within a war, who would marry her? Adrian perhaps but... she might only agree to marry him because he was supportive of her actions. The only one she knows in France. Compare him to her friends in America, he's nothing different. Then she turned back to Burr and smiled, taking one step back. "It's fine, mon ami, I wouldn't you to get cold."

He nodded, and though he wanted to, he didn't press the matter further. "I could manage, the cold never really bothered me." He said as if to say the offer still stood. He observed her move back, and he sighed softly as he too thought about the two; Eliza and Alexander were happy and certainly perfect for each other. "I really am happy for him." He thought aloud. He never thought he would feel that way towards Alexander. But it made him begin to think. Soon the revolution would end, and Aaron would have to settle somewhere. And though Theodosia was constantly on his mind, he was sure she would be gone along with the war, and then what would he have? Marie would be gone as well when the war was said and done, much I his own discontent. He'd be alone. And the thought made him frown slightly, though he replaced it quickly as not to concern Lafayette.

Marie smiled fondly at the thought of the newlyweds, "So am I." She said. She thought of France, what should she do. France is going to fight for freedom and Marie wanted to take part in it but she could be married to Adrian by then and that would give more reasons for the people to speak ill of the Lafayette name. And she might even taint Adrian's family name. Marie could not risk her title and head. Marie sighed a little.

Another sigh slipped his lips as the wind picked up slightly. He glanced to her, watching a few of the stray curls get moved by the brisk breeze. It was rather beautiful to see, not to mention the familiar glow her skin held in the night— He stopped his thought there. If he wasn't careful, he'd find himself falling for the Frenchwoman before him. That would be the last thing he wanted; don't take him the wrong way when he said this. She had an admirer she was interested in, not to mention she would return home. He'd only be causing the two of them heartache. For once, Aaron had to think past what he wanted, and think what was best— no matter how much it pained him inside. "If I had a glass, I'd say may we all find their happiness." He spoke this softly. His words, though faint, had encrypted emotion in them.

"What's on your mind, Monsieur?" Asked Lafayette, ignoring his previous statement. There was something in his voice and eyes that were akin to sorrow. "You'll find someone. She'll cherish you. She'll love you." The woman patted his shoulder with a smile, "You'll find someone for certainty." Unlike her... she thought but she did not let it escape her lips.

Aaron chuckled softly, shaking his head a bit, "I'm glad you believe so." He sighed, and again, he caught himself with his eyes on her. "But I don't see it in the cards." He added. He swallowed a little; he didn't dare tell her what was on his mind. He'd be out of place. But that wasn't stopping what he thought; he was grateful the other couldn't read his mind. 

Marie tilted her head as she stared at Burr. She offered a smile, "How about I tell you what is on my mind and you tell me yours? So that way we may be fair." She said before clearing her throat. "In my mind.... I wonder what is left for me after the war. Will I marry? Will I lead? Will I be tied down and never be able to fly again?" She wanted to say 'will anyone love me?' but she kept that silent.

Those words were.. Strong. He returned the smile as she spoke. "I'm sure a strong woman as yourself will be destined for great things when you return home, Marie." He assured her softly. He felt like he could relate to her; he voiced his thoughts as he let his gaze fall to the side, "I guess I'm scared of life alone." He sighed hesitantly continuing, "After the war is done, what happens to me? Am I going to be happy? Will I aid the rebuilding of the country or be of do the side? Will Alexander continue to climb and leave me behind? Am.." He let out a sigh, his eyes falling to the ground, "I ever going to be satisfied?" 

A little smile found itself on Marie's lips. "But is France my home still? It only holds my title and an uncertain love. I know what it's like to be left unsatisfied." Marie said. "My parents are no longer with me but I always want to prove myself." The woman took two steps closer to Aaron and lifted his chin with her own fingers. "But in the end, you shall earn what is meant for you. Do you know what I have in common with the men within this war? Friend or foe? We know what our heart wants." She placed her hand on his. "Try to figure out what your heart wants."

Aaron watched as her fingers tipped his chin, and followed to the hand now on his. He felt his mind making implications, and his heart beating a bit faster. He let his eyes return to her face, "I think that's my problem, Ms. Lafayette," he was half tempted to take her hand into his, "My heart always wants what it can't have." 

"Perhaps if you try to reach out, you'll have what your heart wants." She smiled. The Frenchwoman looked up to the night sky and turned back to Aaron. "The night is young yet I should retire. Au revoir, Monsieur Burr." Her fingers brushed off his chin and the woman began to walk away. 

Aaron listened to her words. Then he remembered words of his friends. If he stood for nothing, what would he fall for? He didn't want to tarnish what friendship he had made with Marie, yet the moment felt so right. The words she said made him feel a sliver of confidence he never had before. He watched her begin to walk away, but he stopped her again by reaching out, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Perhaps I should. And for once, I think I will." He said, and he could feel his heart pounding in his ears. For once he wasn't afraid of the outcome of his actions. Even if it blew up in his face, he felt a bit of pride knowing he tried. 

Marie felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and her steps ceased. She turned her head towards his direction and a crescent smile reformed. Her hand snaked up to intertwine with his before she moved closer. She looked into his eyes and her stomach turned and twisted. She took a breath, it was shaky. "Go and get your amour then, Monsieur Burr." 

"I would, truly I would. but you see.." Aaron watched her smile, her eyes, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze,  "she's holding my hand already, Ms. Lafayette." He felt his face heat as he truly made the move, hoping that it was a right move and not a wrong. 

Marie's face turned from amused to shock almost instantly. He... admired her? Since when? For how long? The woman looked at their hands, nothing came out of her mouth. She was speechless for the first time for the woman often had remarks. 

The silence made him want to panic; to release her hand and apologize, and let her go home. But, he stood his ground, at least for the time being, although his confidence was fading. "And, she's beautiful. Undeniably so, and witty, and certainly kind. Yet she's strong. She has so many graceful qualities, yet she could win a fist fight or verbal argument with most. And it's had my attention since I met her." He spilled his thoughts in a nervous, yet caring, ramble.

Then her hands held his own but it was gentle and her smile returned. "If you wish to pursue me, all I ask of you is to be true. I wish you do not court me only to deflower me or to gain my money." She said. Many whom proposed themselves to Marie wanted the same things from her and she was not naïve. "If you wish to have me because you... love me then so be it."

"I wouldn't dare, Ms. Lafayette." He assured with a gentle smile. "I respect you far too much for that." He added as he observed that beautiful smile. His heart was going a mile a minute, "not to mention I'm sure I'd have a good set of injuries if I did." He was only half kidding; he knew the woman before him didn't take these things lightly.

Oh, she never did. She punched men if they disrespect her gender, what would she do if one breaks her heart? Probably shooting the man's chest in his sleep or maybe putting a pillow over his face as he sleeps. Marie's heart synchronized with Aaron's, her heart's pace was quick and have probably arrived in France. The woman laughed, "That is true. Well, when do you think you should start courting me, Monsieur Burr?"

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. He had no idea how her reaction to heartbreak would be, but Aaron was going to try his absolute damnedest not to find out firsthand. "Well, Ms. Lafayette, when would you allow me?" He asked her as his smile twitched a bit wider. 

Marie pulled their down as she pecked his cheek. "Tonight." She said with a brighter smiler than ever. Aaron seemed eligible enough. He was a smart man with a passionate heart. "Could you handle me, Monsieur? That is the question." She winked at him in a seductive manner. 

Aaron loved that smile. He hoped he could see it more often. The comment made him chuckle softly, he knew Marie was far from an average woman. Perhaps that was another reasoned he fancied her as he did. "I'll certainly try my best, Ms. Lafayette. Though I'm sure it will be lovely challenge." His words were light and playful, going along with her seductive little wink.

"You should pay your respects to the bride and groom. I just hope you didn't come here to declare yourself to court me, non?" She chuckled. It was low and dark, it was different but still playful. But the level of playfulness was on another level. She backed away, her hands brushing off from his grasp. "Bonne nuit~" She said before turning to take her depart.

He gave a nod, "Of course, though it would be hard to hold it against me if I did." Pure satire, of course this wasn't his original intention. He wasn't complaining, however. He gave a courteous, mid level bow, "Goodnight, Ms. Lafayette." He said as she took her leave. He then returned inside to the newlyweds party. Mulligan and Laurens were... Enjoying themselves. And Alexander looked happier than he had ever seen him. He joined him, and wasn't surprised to hear Alexander was surprised to find him there tonight. After short conversation, and odd stares from his closer friends, Aaron would stand and take his leave, but not before smiling and saying, "Congratulations Alexander; smile more. I'll see you on the other side of the war." 

[puns-and-fics-has-moved]

Finding Her

Part 2/5

<<Previous  Next>>

Pairing: marliza (maria x eliza)

Premise: modern soulmate au – Eliza and Maria desperately seek their soulmate in a world where their first words to you are written on your arm from birth.

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 1698

a/n: enjoy <3

“Wow!” Eliza cried, grinning. “Um… hi. I’m Eliza … what’s your name?

The beautiful girl swallowed, having trouble thinking. “Um… Maria.”

A gorgeous smile lit up Eliza’s features. “That’s a really beautiful name! And, if I may say, you’re really beautiful too, like… your smile is amazing.”

Maria was taken aback. No one had ever complimented her smile. It was always something about her body or her face… never her smile. “Thanks…”

“Look, I’m so sorry, I have to go teach a lesson, but when does your shift end?” Eliza asked in a rush of excitement.

“At three,” Maria replied hesitantly.

“Can I see you then?” Eliza asked, smiling shyly.

Maria nodded, attempting to smile. Eliza waved sweetly and left.

“Do you not want your coffee?” Maria called, but Eliza was already gone.

Eliza pulled on her hat and mittens as she stepped out into the cold January air. That hadn’t gone as she’d always hoped. Maria was beautiful, but she didn’t seem interested in Eliza. At all. She barely smiled at her, looking too shocked to speak full sentences.

Shivering as she shuffled through the slush on the sidewalk, Eliza thought about meeting Maria at three. Maybe she could bring flowers… violets or roses… and then they could go on a walk or to a movie. Eliza couldn’t believe that this was the beginning of the rest of her life with a soulmate. She’d dreamed about this for years… sure the other party had always seemed more interested in her imagination, but she was sure Maria would come around. They were soulmates, after all.

As soon as Eliza had left, Maria leaned on the counter, head in hands, and groaned. What the hell had just happened?

Her co-worker, Aaron, left his cash register, the line having been cleared, and leaned on the counter next to Maria.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I’m… I just met my soulmate,” Maria stuttered out, barely believing the words she was saying.

“Wow! Congratulations. Which one was he?”

Maria groaned again. He. It was supposed to be a he. She wasn’t a lesbian… “Can soulmates be just friends?”

Aaron looked taken aback. “Um… I’ve never heard of that happening. Why?”

“It’s a girl,” Maria said. “My soulmate is a girl.”

“Really? Oh, was she the really pretty one with the long hair?”

“Yeah… I guess so.”

“She seemed really nice,” Aaron smiled. “Really sweet. I guess to balance out your salt.”

“Excuse me?” Maria laughed, punching him on the arm. Aaron laughed too, and started to wipe down the counter. Maria’s face settled back into her pensive pout.

“Don’t you think it’s weird that my soulmate’s a girl?”

“Why would it be weird?” asked Aaron.

“Because I’m straight!”

“Clearly you’re not,” he laughed. “Just get to know her, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Three o’clock came, and Eliza was waiting expectantly in the alcove of the coffee shop, excitement boiling inside her stomach as she clutched a bouquet of violets. Maria exited from behind the counter, took a steadying breath, and walked up to her soulmate.

“Hey,” she said.

Eliza grinned widely. “Hi Maria! Um… I got you flowers…”

Maria spared a quick smile that didn’t touch her eyes, blushing slightly. She didn’t want this to be a date, but Eliza was making that quite difficult.

“Thanks.”

“So… do you want to go on a walk, or we could go see a movie, or grab something to eat, or –?”

“How about some coffee?” Maria said, not wanting it to be something so romantic.

“Coffee? Where? Here?” Eliza asked, confused that after working a 6-hour shift in a coffee place Maria would want to stay.

“No. At the Starbucks across the street.”

“O… kay,” Eliza smiled, still a little confused, but excited to get to know this girl. “So, how was your shift?”

“It was fine. Pretty empty, as usual. ‘Cause of the Starbucks.”

“Right. You know, I’ve actually never been to Starbucks. I’ve only ever been to Costa Coffee or, when there wasn’t one around, Bodegas or whatever.”

“Wow. Weird,” Maria said.

“Well, I mean, it said Costa Coffee on my arm, so I figured –”

“Yeah. I’ve worked at a few coffee shops, trying to find… well, you, I guess.”

“Yeah. Me,” Eliza smiled. They entered the Starbucks and got in the long line. There was a silence as they each figured out what to order, then once they’d received their drinks (Eliza paying), they found a seat by the window.

“Why would they call it a ‘tall’ if it’s a small?” Eliza asked, clutching her tea tightly.

“To be fancy, I guess,” Maria said, shrugging.

“Right,” Eliza said.

There was an awkward silence before Maria realized she was being extremely rude. She hadn’t asked Eliza one thing about herself. Straightening up in her seat, Maria asked, “So what do you do?”

Eliza smiled. “I’m a piano teacher. I go to people’s houses and I teach them how to play piano, and… well, it’s not a big deal, but some nights I play in hotel lobbies and things like that. I do weddings, too… I wanted to be a school teacher, but I can’t spell for shit, so I figured that wouldn’t be good…”

“You have the writing for a teacher,” Maria said, relaxing a little and pointing at her tattoo.

“I’ve been told,” Eliza laughed, noticing Maria’s tension easing a little. “Anyway, do you go to Columbia?”

“I got my undergraduate there. In visual art. AKA, the reason why I’m working at a coffee shop.”

Eliza laughed kindly. “That’s cool, though. Do you still do art?”

“Yeah, sometimes… not as much though.”

Maria was relaxing quite a bit. Eliza was easy to talk to. She seemed so genuinely interested in everything Maria had to say. She wasn’t used to this kind of attention; Eliza seemed so… caring.

“I’d love to see it sometime,” Eliza grinned, leaning forward with a beaming smile on her face.

Maria felt inclined to lean forward as well, but something in her stomach caught. This was a girl. She tensed up again, and it did not go unnoticed by Eliza.

“Are you okay, Maria?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. But, I guess I should be going.”

Eliza’s face fell. “Okay, yeah. Where are you going? I mean, I could walk you –?”

“No,” Maria cut her off quickly. “That’s okay. I’m just down the street.”

Eliza tried not to let the hurt show on her face. “Right. Well, can I text you or something? Later?”

Maria thought about it. This girl was her soulmate. Maybe she should give her a chance…

“Sure,” she said, extending her hand for Eliza’s phone. She quickly entered a contact and turned to leave.

“Maria,” Eliza said as the other girl walked away. She turned at the sound of her name. “It was really nice to meet you.”

Maria smiled slightly, touched by her genuine kindness. “You too,” she replied, closing the door after her and leaving the violets behind.

After an hour on the subway, Eliza finally made it back to the apartment she shared with her two sisters. It was a cozy place, warmly decorated, with books overflowing every shelf (all Angelica’s, though the others read them too) and blankets and pillows everywhere, all in bright candy colours. Normally just the sight of her home could cheer Eliza up, but she was upset from the way her date had gone. Was it even a date? Maria didn’t seem interested at all.

“You’re back late, Eliza, what’s up?” Peggy asked from the kitchen, where she was making dinner for them all.

Angelica was on the counter, reading The Second Sex for the millionth time. She looked up from her book and saw clearly that Eliza was upset. She stood up immediately and hugged Eliza.

“Who do I have to punch?” she asked, taking a step back and looking up and down her sister, trying to see if she was in any way damaged.

“No one,” Eliza laughed. “I, uh – I met my soulmate.”

“Oh my God, who is she?” Peggy cried.

“She’s, well… she’s beautiful. Like, really, really beautiful. But she seems really uncomfortable or something. Like… like she’s not happy that we’re soulmates. I don’t know what it is. We got coffee together and for a little bit, I kinda thought she liked me, but then – I don’t know, she just kind of��� rejected me? I mean, she just really wanted the date to be over, and I’m not even sure it was a date! Plus, I got her flowers and she… well, she left them behind.”

Eliza’s eyes teared up as she finished her rambling. Peggy, noticing the tears, pulled her into a hug. Angelica, meanwhile, looked thoughtful.

“Maybe she’s surprised you’re a girl,” Angelica said.

“Hmm?” Eliza grunted, raising her face from Peggy’s shoulder.

“I don’t know, it sounds like she’s denying some feelings. Maybe she didn’t know she was queer.”

“Huh,” Eliza huffed thoughtfully. “That would make sense.”

“My advice,” Angelica continued, taking the mom role as always, “is to keep at it. She’ll come around. Why don’t you ask her out again?”

Eliza nodded and pulled out her phone. She and her sisters deliberated for almost half an hour before crafting the perfect message;

Hey Maria, it’s Eliza. I hope this isn’t weird for you, but I’d really like to get to know you better! Do you want to grab dinner sometime?

“It’s perfect. It’s casual, it acknowledges that she seemed uncomfortable, and it’s definitely a date,” Peggy said with finality. “Send it.”

Eliza looked to Angelica for confirmation. After a moment of thought, she nodded seriously. “Send it.”

Eliza did so, and she and her sisters sat down for dinner with her phone lying on the table. Even when it hadn’t buzzed, they grabbed for it every now and then, just checking to make sure she hadn’t replied. After dinner was done and the kitchen was almost clean, finally a buzz signified a text.

Hands dripping with dish soap, Eliza rushed to the table and her sisters crowded behind her.

Maria: Saturday at 6? La Lanterna di Vittorio?

Grinning, Eliza shot back: It’s a date.