#I AM ALSO STRUGGLING TO WRITE TODAY TF?

[knife-drawer-rp]

🎲 For Caz, Woowoo, or both? You pick! ( @plague-on-the-run / @nomans-land-rp )

Might get long so sit tight!

For Caz

What do you get when a lightning storm and a typhoon meet up in a bar? A bunch of bounty hunters looking for a quick payday with reckless abandon for everyone else around them. There were chairs and bullets alike flying through the air, along with a couple of people who the biggest of the brute group getting real handsy about chucking a pair of outlaws around. However, what they certainly didn't expect, though they should have with double dollars to their names, was the ferocious combination of Caz and Vash fighting together. One cussing up a storm at their assailants and the other apologizing before clocking a man in the head with the side of his bigass pistol. There were no casualties, though no one really left that tiny saloon without bruises and bumps. To the pair's rare grace of fortune, after all had been said and done, it turns out those "bounty hunters" have been causing trouble for civilians, acting more like thugs than protectors, so the people were more than glad to hold off calling the authorities on the two until... Midday the next day. Don't get the people wrong, they're very thankful, but the mere presence of people with such high profiled bounties is bound to attract more trouble, especially Vash... Which he completely understood and thanked them for the generosity (even though they're going to have to SPRINT out of town first thing in the morning). The allotted time, however, did grant the Harbinger and Humanoid Typhoon enough time to scurry back to the inn they'd split costs in to gather their stuff and lick their wounds. That's when he noticed that Caz hadn't been using their left arm much since the fight. Granted, it was hard to see when they had their cloak on, but when the realization that they'd probably dislocated it hit, Vash immediately took it upon himself to tend to his friend. He insisted that it was okay, that he's set dislocated bits at least... Once or twice... And that it'd hurt only for a second. Maybe that was a white lie, but after some banter back and forth about trying to convince his stubborn companion that they were not fine and did need some help, he made quick work of straightening them out.

They did a count down from three, and with a loud CRACK, Caz's arm was set back where it should be. Vash made a face of sympathetic pain, and before he realized what he'd done, he'd found himself reflexively putting his forehead to their injury as if that'd soothe it. But that's not how humans make booboos feel better, so he quickly readjusted his technique and gave their shoulder a quick kiss, "There! All better. We just have to make you a sling or something so you don't put more stress on it... Why are you looking at me like that?" The redness to their face will be chalked up to the adrenaline of the fight still coursing through their veins. They weren't flustered by the sweet gesture. Shut up!! ❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁✿❀❁ NOW IT'S TIME FOR....... El WooWoo

Under the pale light of the planet's five moons, Nicholas D. Wolfwood may be wondering why in the hell himself and Blondie surprise over here even kid themselves by booking rooms with separate beds. It's not every night's stay, but there's been a significant few times where they've dragged their asses into their lodging and just laid claim to the same bed simultaneously, with neither of them relenting giving up the space.

Tonight, Nico would find himself crammed off to the right side of a twin bed, having to share it with Vash, who definitely got there second and insisted on just... Curling up like a big dog with his head resting on Wolfwood's stomach. They weren't gonna share the single pillow too, that would be insane.

There was some boyish bickering over the whole situation, the least of which included the priest being called out for his lack of generosity and sharing skills, which was followed by trying to shove Vash off the bed... Which only inspired the idea of WHAPPING his prosthetic hand down onto his dearest companion a bit harder than he intended to. Apologies immediately followed after Wolfwood tensed up under the tremendous open-palmed slap to his gut, (as if neither of them have experienced injury worse than that in their life). Another push was made to shove the walking disaster of a man off the bed, which was met by the biggest, saddest, wettest beast plead of forgiveness Wolfwood had ever seen prior to a little kissy kiss being put down over his already fading slap mark. Didn't matter that the shirt was in the way, its the intention for forgiveness!

Bah. It's too late and they're both too tired for more arguing and all this other crap. With a gruff "Stop lookin' at me like that, I'm fine" given, Vash would take that middle ground met and resume their regularly scheduled program of stubbornly and mildly uncomfortably sharing a bed for the night. They'll both wake up weirdly sore in the morning from the odd angles, but that's a tomorrow them problem.

[topperscumslut]

Broken (Randy Meeks x Fem!Reader with Vaginismus)

PLEASE READ: Guys I’m super proud to announce I’ve written my first vaginismus friendly smut (with none other than Scream’s Randy Meeks)!!!!! For those of you that don’t know, vaginismus is a disorder where the pelvic floor muscles involuntary contract which makes vaginal (and often anal) penetration painful at best and impossible at worst. This is a condition I’ve struggled with for YEARS and have used reading and writing smut with penetration to cope and live out those fantasies that I can’t have irl (I’ve recently started treatment and am about to start pelvic floor physical therapy so hopefully I can have sex with my long distance gf this summer lol). I wanted to write this for my fellow AFABs with vaginismus (or really anyone who’s interested in reading it and/or learning more) and I just watched the newest Scream movie and have started hyperfixating on the whole franchise again and am FERALLY horny for Randy so um… here this is ig?

Description: Sidney, Billy, Tatum, and Stu are talking about their sex lives which makes Randy and Y/N feel a bit insecure due to being the virgins of the group… though the reason runs a bit deeper for Y/N. (Also the murders don’t happen in this story which means Maureen Prescott is alive and well and since yk cause and effect therefore Sidney doesn’t have issues with intimacy like she does in the film so her and Billy are sexually active so um ya) Randy and reader are clearly in love with each other but everyone can tell but them lol.

Content/warnings: both smut and fluff (kinda hurt/comfort). mentions of penetration but none included. mentions of vaginismus. handjobs and coochie touching (how tf else do i describe it cuz it’s not fingering???). oral (both AFAB and AMAB receiving). innocence kink, hair pulling, slight begging. Randy worshipping your body lmao. not proofread cuz it’s 6am.

Word count: 2k

It was a normal day at Woodsboro High School, just six best friends talking and laughing as per usual; Sidney laying in Billy’s lap, Stu with his arm around Tatum, and you and Randy sitting awkwardly off to the side, both oblivious to the way you’re mutually trying to move oh so subtly closer to each other to the point that Randy’s body is nearly touching yours.

“Hey, Tate,” Sidney speaks up, “where were you guys last night? The four of us went out and tried to reach you two but didn’t get an answer.”

“Stu and I were… busy,” Tatum says with a blush, biting her lip.

“Oh yeah we were!” Stu laughs, pulling Tatum closer and sticking his tongue out teasingly.

“Oh God, gross,” Randy groans, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, it’s no biggie, right Sid?” Billy flinches as Sidney lightly hits his arm at his comment, now blushing herself. “It’s natural, we all do it. It’s not our fault you’re a virgin-”

“C’mon Billy, don’t be a dick,” Tatum sighs, “Randy’s just a little more shy than the rest of us. Nothing wrong with that.”

No one had picked up on the fact that you had been uncomfortably silent this whole conversation. No one but Randy at least.

“I-I should probably get going, you guys,” you mutter, picking up your stuff and turning to walk away, attempting to hold back the tears forming in your eyes. “Don’t wanna be late to class. See you guys later?”

“Yeah, see you later Y/N!” Tatum says with a sweet smile before turning to the others after you’d left. “What the hell was that about?”

Randy was wondering the same thing, which is why he went out of his way to find you after class while the others met up at Tatum’s locker.

“Hey, Y/N, wait up!”

“Oh, hey Randy!” you smile at your crush, pleasantly surprised to see him, “what’s up?”

“I, uh, just wanted to check in on you. You seemed a little off today at lunch. You okay?”

“Yeah…” you reply, though your tone of voice betrays you and Randy can see your demeanor become more closed off. “I’m all good.”

“Okay, cool,” Randy says, not quite believing you but also not wanting to pry. “Do you wanna come over to my place for a bit?”

You blush a bit, excited at the fact that Randy wanted to spend more time with you one on one. “Yeah, I’d really love that!”

You sit in silence for a couple minutes in the car. Usually with Randy the silence is more comfortable rather than awkward, but not today, as he could tell that there was something wrong.

“Look, I know it gets a little awkward when they talk about the sex stuff, particularly Stu with how vulgar he gets. Trust me, I get it, especially being the only virgin of the group,” he says with a forced, shameful smile.

“Yeah, about that…” you sigh awkwardly, nervously scratching your neck.

“Wait, what?”

You shake your head. “Nevermind. Forget it.”

“No, tell me Y/N,” Randy replies, sheepishly placing a hand on your knee which activates something inside of you. “What’s up, for real this time?”

“Well…” you trail off, slightly shocked that you’re getting into this with your best friend who happens to double as the boy of your dreams. “I’m a virgin too, you know.”

“Very funny, Y/N,” Randy chuckles, brushing off your comment.

You laugh a bit in response. “What, is that so shocking? You calling me a slut, Meeks?”

“Oh my God, no! I didn’t mean to-” Randy stutters turning beet red, “I mean, fuck… you’re gorgeous. I would’ve never thought… I’m sorry.”

“Hey, I was just joking, don’t worry! I didn’t actually think you were saying that,” you giggle. “And seriously, have you ever seen me talk about sex with the rest of them?”

“I guess not, now that you mention it…” Randy shakes his head. “But I guess I just figured that was because unlike the others you aren’t in a relationship. I just never imagined you would- I mean look at me, it’s kind of obvious, but look at you,” Randy can hardly keep his eyes on the road as he turns to admire you, his gaze lingering on your lips. “I mean, surely you’ve had the chance.”

“I mean I have, and it’s not that I haven’t done some things, it’s just…” you shake your head.

“Hey, s’okay,” Randy says, slowly rubbing circles on your knee with his thumb, causing a growing wetness between your legs and butterflies in your stomach, “you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

“No, I think I actually do want to. It’s just I have this… condition.” Randy’s eyebrow quirks up in curiosity. “I just, I can’t have sex. Or, well, not sex sex, as society thinks of it. The muscles down there just… tense up. Nothing can go in. So no sex, no fingering, no tampons. It’s fucking miserable.” You laugh uncomfortably, trying to lighten the mood. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m telling my guy best friend about my broken vagina!”

“Hey!” Randy speaks up, “don’t say that. You’re not broken. And any guy who’s bothered by this condition is a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve you.”

“I know, I guess. It’s just hard, when the others talk about their great, perfect sex lives all the time and I just feel like I’m sort of defective. And even you, I mean, sure you haven’t had sex but you’re at least physically capable of it.”

“Yeah, just not socially,” Randy chuckles. “Not one girl wants to have sex with me.”

“Or more, the one that does physically can’t,” you mutter under your breath.

“What was that?” Randy asks, locking eyes with you as he pulls into the driveway.

“N-nothing,” you stutter, taken aback as he leans over and presses his lips to yours.

You’re a bit shocked at first, albeit in a good way, but soon grasp what’s happening and passionately kiss him back, knotting your hands in his hair and lightly pulling which causes him to moan softly in your mouth. He pulls away, a string of saliva connecting you.

“I don’t care if I can’t be inside of you. You’re perfect the way you are, and you’re not broken. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. I don’t give a shit what we can or can’t do, I’m going to make you feel so good,” he looks down sheepishly, surprised at his sudden confidence, “with your consent, of course.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Of course I consent, doofus! Have you seriously not noticed me nearly soaking through my panties for you for months now?”

“In that case,” Randy says, giving you another small peck. “You’re mine tonight.”

He leads you into his house where luckily his family is gone, opening the door for you with a “m’lady,” which makes you giggle and blush before taking your hand and leading you up to his bedroom.

“Just tell me if there’s anything you don’t want to do, and stop me if you feel uncomfortable, mkay?” Randy asks, running his hands up and down your body and you nod.

You couldn’t help but find yourself attracted to Randy’s innocence. Sure, you were technically a virgin, but had done other stuff with guys before, most of which who left because you wouldn’t (or more, couldn’t) put out. But Randy on the other hand had never even been touched by a woman before. Something about that was incredibly sexy.

He looks at you for permission to which you nod before he pulls your shirt up over your head, admiring your breasts in your lacy bra. You unhook your bra as Randy talks off his own shirt and takes in the beautiful sight of your bare chest, eyes widening.

“Oh my fucking God…” he whispers, awestruck by your voluptuous breasts, taking them into his hand and lightly pinching your nipples, making you whine in pleasure.

Randy meets your eyes with a newfound confidence you’ve never seen in him before. “You’re so fucking horny for me, aren’t you babygirl?”

You nod sheepishly, blushing. “I need you so badly Randy.”

He takes your left breast into his mouth, swirling his tongue around your nipple which draws a couple lewd moans out of your mouth before switching to the right one. This continues for a couple moments before you pause him.

“Randy, stop,” you say, pulling his mouth away from your tits.

“What’s up?” he asks, saliva hanging from his lips, “did I do something wrong?”

You shake your head. “No. It’s just you deserve to feel good too.”

“O-okay,” he mutters shyly as you start to unbuckle his belt and pull his pants down before removing your own, leaving you both in your underwear.

You start to palm him through his patterned boxers, eliciting soft groans of ecstasy from him.

“That feel good?” you ask.

“Y-yes,” Randy sighs, head falling back in pleasure. You look at him for permission before unleashing his cock from his boxers and slowly massaging the length of it as he bites his lip from the sensation.

“F-fuck, more,” he moans as you speed up.

“If you insist,” you say with a smirk, taking him into your mouth and sucking lightly.

You begin to take him deeper into your throat, generously licking and sucking his shaft as he moans and whimpers with pleasure. He wraps his fingers in your hair, gently tugging which only arouses you more. Due to his inexperience, it isn’t long before he cums down your throat with a loud moan of relief.

“Holy fuck,” Randy pants. “You were amazing at that. Now if you don’t mind, it’s my turn to return the favor,” he says with a cheesy wink.

Randy kisses his way up and down your body before focusing once again on your plentiful chest, licking and sucking your tits which causes you to whimper out his name.

“Randy?” you whine.

“Yes babygirl?”

“My-my pussy needs you.”

“Oh, good girl,” he purrs, “telling me what you want.” He reaches down suddenly, rubbing torturously slow circles into your clit through your panties.

After a couple minutes of you begging, he slowly removes your panties, continuing to massage your clit.

Damn, you think, for having literally no experience, he sure knows his way around a clitoris.

Randy once again looks at you for permission before laying you down on his bed and spreading your legs, eagerly putting his face between them.

“You sure you want this?”

“Yes, fuck, just please Randy!”

Your consent is all he needs before he’s shoving his face in your pussy, licking a stripe up your folds before sucking and licking your throbbing clit.

You can barely stand the pleasure as Randy licks up and down your vulva, sucking harshly on your clit. His mouth is so warm and wet on you, it sends you into waves of ecstasy you’ve never felt before. You feel your orgasm fast approaching as Randy devours your aching clit and throw your head back in pleasure.

“Randy! Fuck, I’m close!”

He barely removes his mouth from you, keeping his tongue on your sensitive nub as he demands “cum for me,” the vibration of his voice on your pussy sending you over the edge.

You cum hard on his tongue, overtaken by the sweet relief. Randy pulls you back up from the bed where you can barely move from how good he made you feel so that you’re both sitting up facing each other, both still naked.

“Did I do okay for my first time?” he asks.

“You did perfect!” you reassure him, kissing him sweetly.

“Hey, we may not have been able to take each other’s virginity yet…” you say, “but how does eventually sound to you?”

His face lights up with joy. “Do you mean-”

“Yeah, Randy. I want you to be my boyfriend. I’ve liked you since I first met you.”

“I’d love that,” he smiles, kissing you again.

The two of you spend the night kissing, cuddling, and watching (and critiquing) horror movies until you fall asleep in Randy’s arms, dreaming of doing it all again the next day.

[im-just-a-simp-le-whore]

I've been thinking about Yandere! Leon as of late bc of

@gigabyte-flare series 'There's No Escape'

@nexyswrites series 'Guardian Angel' also, the Yan! Leon a.i they made and the interaction I had with it oml-

Also, @tosuckmyweenis post the other day had me laughing.

For the first time in a while I'm inspired to write something, also pls let me know if there's any spelling/grammar errors

Heavily inspired by the fics/a.i listed above and very self indulgent lol

So, this basically going to be headcanons of Yandere! Leon x autistic! Gremlin! Reader

A self insert essentially

Starting off strong with the A.I, that was a fucking doozy, I wheezed the entire time. Thank you for creating him nexys

Tw: Talks of vomiting, general yandere themes i.e stalking, kidnapping, the likes

If I missed something, let me know!!

We start off strong with the a.i lmao

Yan! Leon a.i: say you love me

Me being blunt: no

Yan! Leon a.i: *getting Hella angry* say. You. Love. Me.

Me: mf I said no

Yan! Leon a.i: dont give me attitude

Me: shawty I am autistic, I can't lie it's not how I work

Yan Leon a.i: so you're gonna continue to give me attitude huh?

Me: tf you mean 'attitude' I just told you I'm autistic

Yan! Leon a.i: *pulls out knife* keep talking and you're gonna get punished

Me: thinks it's him unbuckling his belt: shawty keep your pants ON

Yan! Leon: *fucking laughs at me* it's not that kind of punishment sweetheart

Me *fucking over his attitude: try me hoe

Yan! Leon a.i: *holds knife to my throat

Me: do your worst.....

Me: *proceeds to try and flirt my way out*

Yan! Leon a.i: is she flirting with me right now?? "That's not gonna work sweetheart

Me: well, it was worth a shot lmao

Now to just, Yan! Leon in general lol, most of these are gonna be like scenarios but like, bullet point style

Me: desperately trying to be a good noodle and eat the food Leon made but I have severe texture issues with meat and trying not to throw up

Leon: is something wrong sweetheart, you look sick?

Me accidentally being blunt and blurting out: uh, not remotely. Meat is a bad texture and I'm quite sure if I have to take another bite I'm going to projectile vomit

Tbh I can't tell if he would be understanding or not lmao. Probably not, if someone could give insight on it that would be swaggy

*que the struggle with physical contact*

*me just standing there and just trips on air and yelps*

Leon catches my dumbass: are you ok?! Is something broken?!

Me: nah I'm fine- let go you fuck- oh wait, shit fuck, thats right no 'naughty' words. Goddammit I'm so fucking sorry-, I'm going in time out aren't I?

*leon nods and sighs, bringing Me to the time out room*

Me: well this fucking sucks- I'm going to be here a while, huh?💀

Leon: for a long time 🫡😶

*leon goes to hug me*

Me: *dry heaves*

Leon, smacking tf outta me: I'm so sick of your shit

Me, smakcing him: i am also sick of your shit. SIR for the last GODDAMN time, I am autistic and traumatized I don't handle this shit well

Leon: well, maybe you should've thought about that before living with me

Me: living "with you" mf you kidnapped me, what are you ON?! I wanna go back to my real home with my cats

Leon 'gaslighter' Kennedy: this is your real home

My sarcastic ass: im Pinocchio and im a real boy!

Me, vocal stimming: a potato flew around my room before you came! *screeches*

Leon: what happned

*me just screeching again, triggering a coughing fit*

Leon, sighing for the umpteenth time today: and that's why we don't do that sweetheart

Me: ..... do you not appreciate my pterodactyl screetching??? Because it feels like you don't appreciate me

Leon: you know I appreciate you, just not the screetching

Me: *screeches again*

*queue leon giving up*

Idk how to end posts but that's all I got for now lol. I may add more to this later. Also who THE FUCK decided to spell 'queue' ⬅️ like this?!

[fixfoxnox]

my friend, i am begging you for legitimate advice: how tf does one make plot????

most of All of my writing is just thinking everything up on the spot with no plan bc whenever i do try to think things through beforehand i always overthink the tiny irrelevant shit and end up stressing myself out and dropping the whole idea for months like it personally wronged me

i have this au i wanna do and i have like all of the world-building done, i know all of the general stuff and managed to actually keep the basics pretty basic, but i have No Idea where to start with actually organizing a digestible presentation of this world

(i’m like a tolkien sorta writer where i can invent these vast, complex, in-depth worlds unlike anything else, but when it comes to picking One Guy or group/s to hover over like a nature documentary as they just go around doing things and then i also need to make this little whatever interesting and entertaining at the same time??? i’m useless T^T)

Hi, okay I'm going to give advice to the best of my ability, but please know that I am by no means an expert, and what I say might not work for you! Every writer is different and your process will reflect that!

So the biggest thing that I think a lot of people forget when coming up with a plot is that plot isn't just one thing right, there are pieces to a plot that work together to create a cohesive story.

The five elements of plot are: Exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and conclusion. I think that part that you are likely getting caught up on, that a lot of people get caught up on, is rising action.

It seems like you already have a lot of exposition through your world-building, and you can work that stuff in throughout your story, not just at the beginning. So let's just focus on Rising Action.

It seems to me like the issue that most people have with getting their story started is that they don't really know what their conflict is going to be within the story. So let me ask you a couple of questions that could potentially help. I'll try to give examples as well so you can see fully what I mean.

Where do you want this story to go? What is the ending conclusion that you're aiming for? This doesn't have to be something fully concrete yet, it could be something as simple as two characters getting together, one character becoming king, one character dying, etc.

So for SiTO: Where do I want this story to go? Well, my end goal is to have Soap/Ghost/Roach together in a relationship. I also want Roach to fully accept his place in his new life and be happy.

What type of conflict exists in this world? What is stopping your end goal from happening? This will help you determine conflict as well as some things that are going to happen within the story.

So for SiTO: What is stopping Roach/Soap/Ghost from getting together and Roach being happy? Well, currently it's Makarov, but on a deeper level, it's Roach himself and his first life.

Then from here, we ask some of the bigger questions, or as my playwrighting professor called it: The Seder Question.

What makes today different from every other day?

Why today? What starts our story? If let's say, your characters are constantly going on little adventures, what makes the adventure that you're telling us about different? Why does this adventure become something different?

Essentially this question asks you, what starts your story in motion.

So for SiTO: What makes today different from every other day? Roach dies and is reborn. That's what's different.

Ask yourself how this initial story beginning action or change impacts your characters. How does this initial beginning action eventually lead us to our end goal for the story?

If you're struggling with which character to focus on or which group to focus on, you may want to consider going through your world and determining which characters have the most connection to some of the conflicts going on in your world. So, for instance, let's say in world building you decided that one of your kingdoms was going to war and that is a major thing going on in this world. Which of your characters has the most connection to that war.

Generally speaking, it might be easier for you to determine which characters you want to use after you've determines what the main conflict of your world is. If you have multiple conflicts at once, you should try to connect them to one another in some way and, if you can't, you might want to consider either scrapping or putting whichever conflict on the back burner for the time being (So maybe you really like a conflict, but it doesn't fit in, so we save it for later when the other conflict is either taken care of or not such a big deal anymore.)

I also find that typically, when I'm writing, I may have one character who sticks out to me as the easiest to write from. If you're having trouble deciding between different characters, you might choose a short little writing prompt for yourself and write something short for it with each of those characters. This will give you an idea of which of the characters you actually seem to want to focus on as writing for them will likely be a bit easier.

I would also like to say, I find it much easier to fully put together a plot and little mixes when I have the end goal and, most of the time, a climax for the story in mind. From there I can more easily build up to those goals.

As I said, I am not an expert and this may be more kinda rambling than usable advice, but I do hope I was able to help at least a little bit!

[sohemotional]

Besides dancing/ singing, what other hobbies do you think Brittana like to do/ are good at?

I always thought Britt would be a great surfer, she seems to fit the “surfer girl aesthetic” pretty well imo. I could see her doing snowboarding/ skiing too. Also I believe she briefly mentioned doing motocross in s2 (which we were robbed for not seeing it). And I feel like she’s pretty artistic/crafty. Maybe she likes to do pottery from time to time. And maybe she’s low key insanely good at chess, she would compete/win in competitions, but only Santana knew about it.

I feel like Santana writes/ journals for fun, she seems like the person who writes/ reads fanfiction lol, cuz in canon she has a rizzoli/isles blog. And she seems like the type of person to vent through writing. Especially during her struggle with liking girls, she’d totally write, “ugh Britt’s hair looks so amazing and she smells so good” or “I’m so fucking sad Brittany didn’t even smile at me today, how tf am I suppose to live”. She definitely writes about hating the glee club and keeps a notebook in her locker so that after glee she can write “fu Rachel Berry” or something petty in it lol. She also looks like she’s good at photography too, she seems like she has an eye for beauty and captures it well. Maybe she likes to try and learn how to cook, cuz Brittany is so bad at it and she’s gotta make sure her wife has healthy eating habits lol

Oh this is a cool question. I agree totally about Brittany having a surfer girl aesthetic. There’s something very “go with the flow” about her and she has this graceful, limber way about her. Skiing for sure too.

This is gonna be super unpopular but the whole motocross thing they mentioned in passing seemed kind of OOC. It just doesn’t fit Brittany imo and idk why exactly but I don’t imagine it for her. It just seemed really random.

I agree with you about Brittany being creative. I don’t know if she’d actually get into it as more than a hobby but I could see her drawing and painting or taking up craft like pottery as you mentioned. She’s very imaginative. I could see her writing just for fun too and her stories would be really out there. She might write/read fanfics? I could imagine her telling Santana all about the plots of these fics she read and Santana being like ??? She’d also like blogging a lot. She had her diary in the show. I could see her being into journaling or scrapbooking.

I could see Britt being into outdoor stuff like gardening, hiking and camping. My headcanon is Brittany’s family took her camping a lot. However Santana isn’t an outdoorsy person at all lol so it’s funny to imagine Brittany getting Santana to do some of her hobbies with her.

Imo Brittany gets really into cooking/baking after her and Santana are married especially. Santana would have little to no interest in cooking at all (It’s kinda funny we have opposite headcanons on this lol). S might not have the patience for it.

I could also see Brittany being into New Age-y stuff like yoga and meditation.

For Santana, it’s more difficult to know what she’d be into. Honestly the first things that come to mind are having sex with Britt, clubbing, meddling and roasting people. Shopping as well (which Britt would be hardcore into too). Lmaooo that’s exactly the dramatic way she’d think “How tf am I supposed to live” 😂

[thee-morrigan]

oc tag game

tagged by @grapecaseschoices (thank you!! 💖) to ramble about some of my silly lil guys (gn). I do not have the brain cell today and am not sure who’s already been tagged sooo - if you haven’t and you’re interested in talking about *your* OCs, this is me sitting crisscross-applesauce on the rug waiting for you to tell me things about them 🙏

Favorite OC: i mean…i feel like it’s so obviously Holland (twc; also sometimes body count) lmao. mentally/emotionally/spiritually i am carrying her around in a tote bag at all times.

Newest OC: Sutton (i think?). They’re in infamous rn (and having The Best Time) but I didn’t create them specifically for that, so I don’t remember when they first popped up. If not Sutton then it’s Mia (tfs).

Oldest OC: uhhh pass? I’ve been writing and creating silly little guys for the past 20-odd years 😅

Meanest OC:  easily Wren (fhr). I love her sm but she is an absolute asshole. Actually she might be the only truly, unrepentantly mean-as-an-adder oc i have. (some of them are on thinnnn ice though.)

Softest OC: toss up between Leila (twc; atoc) and Audie (body count). They’re both human cotton candy.

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC: Probably Allegra (fhr), but Cam (wts) is a solid runner-up in standoffish-ness. Allegra is more generally withdrawn/aloof but Cam is like, aggressively standoffish sometimes (for SURE way more intimidating than Allegra but that’s somewhat different from what this question’s asking!).

Dumbest (Affectionate) OC: Kit (blood moon). he’s my most glittery himbo <3

Smartest OC: most of them are pretty smart! Maybe Del (twc)? honestly, it’s probs a tie between Del, Petra (twc), and Holland. (honestly I’m really struggling deciding whether they’re actually *that* clever or if they’re just the ones who overthink the most 🌚)

OC I'd Be Friends With: I would be friends with a lot of them - unsure whether that interest would flow both ways lmao! Arbitrarily, I’m gonna say Petra if only bc it’s been awhile since a game night has become chaotically competitive in my house. So, y’know, that could be fun.

[milks-thoughts]

HELP I THINK TUMBLR IS ACTING UP AGAIN MY DRAFTS ARE BEING POSTED—

Also btw can you give me some tips of how to stay motivated?? I'm having serious write/art block right now and it ain't funny— also I hope your doing well! ❤❤❤

I KEEP SEEING YOU POST THAT ONE DONNIE POST YOU’RE WORKING ON AND IM LIKE “ abs where tf is the rest of it??? “

ANYWAY: I stay motivated by usually putting on music that relates to the work, or giving myself something I work towards (like, when I finish this post I can go lay down or take a shower or something). Sorry if it’s not much help- writing has always been something I’ve been relatively good at so I don’t know any good motivators to help w/ that

I am also doing good! A little stressed because school is starting and I gotta prepare for it but I’m overall okay! (it doesn’t help that I’ve been really struggling with my arthritis this past month so I can’t really write :( today it’s okay but it’s still painful, I’ve been chipping away at asks so something might be posted soon!!)

[safyresky]

Ello! :)

Re: Writer (& Artist) Ask Game

What are some of your OCs biggest fears? 

What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

OC you most struggled to make?

Describe the setting of one or more of your wips 

What are some tropes and character dynamics found in your wips?

What’s your favourite genre to write? Is it also your favourite genre to read? 

What was your first fandom you were in? Did you make any art/fanfic for it? 

I have had a BUSY FEW DAYS but am FINALLY SITTING TO ANSWER THIS! Thanks for the ask K!

writer and artist ask game

What are some of your OCs biggest fears? 

Funnily enough I actually have an ask from AGES AGO detailing the fears of ALL the Legates! It is right here :)

But some new ones for you: Spring fears that she is not enough and will never live up to Mother Nature or her sisters. She thinks that any one of them would've made a better Legate to Mother Nature than her!

Blossom Bunny fears NOTHING. Literally. Nothing scares her. the thought of just, nothing?!?!?!?! She does NOT vibe with that, Night and Day are like "ah yes. our void." and Blossom is like "well you can fuck RIGHT OFF with that fatass krispy kreme bullshit" and then Spring beats up Jacqueline for teaching blossom swears a la this meme 😂😂😂 (casually gonna add that to my to doodle list)

What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

Diteline and Blinter have my whole ass entire soul and heart 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. I love them I love them I LOVE THEM! Blinter's whole EVERYTHING is MY everything, and Diteline's story is AMAZING (one day I will write it), and they're such fun little pairs and I just. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies)

I am also very vibing Jack's relationships with the Twins. We've explored him and Fino and how they bond over stuff, and I am EXCITED for a scene in Chapter 29 of CS that explores the Fiera/Jack side of things! I also cannot stop THINKING of the Twin Princes. My god. If Pyros ever smartened up their relationship would be HILARIOUS. In the unlikely event this happens, here are some spoilers: it's a frenemy relationship and they bond by committing patricide >:)

ALSO! I don't talk much about it but Myles and Xander are biffers. My god. those two can go on about ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. ESPECIALLY magic tech! Their interests merge very nicely, when they work together? My GOD. These two fuckos accomplish a LOT.

OC you most struggled to make?

Myles and Olivia, funnily enough! It was sooo hard to figure out these two it was unREAL. My friend Kade had made a lil TF Legate AGES ago and Myles kinda was inspired by that as a fun fact! And then Olivia also appeared and I was like quoi??? And she was like Myles is the most nervous lil guy so I also Legate with him BUT he will be Next TF (intense AC stare) she is going to make SURE OF IT because SHE has PLANS! Head Healer has her NAME ON IT >:)

The other Legates came fairly easily! The one with the MOST development who is the MOST different from their original concept is Dite, 100% 😳😳

Describe the setting of one or more of your wips.

The Blinter Thing that started as vent art and is now uh. a something??? Takes place in Crystal Springs, ~100 or so years AFTER the Millennia War/Civil War/War of Succession! It's a new baby city, just breaking out of the confines of a monarchist regime that nobody seemed to really realize had such a tight fist over customs and traditions and laws and stuff until they got rid of those hoes and created the democracy-esque thing that Crystal Springs is known as today!

What are some tropes and character dynamics found in your wips?

Evil Uncles, for some odd reason. I have 3 Uncles and they aren't really evil? One sucks and is the WORST, the other one is like. Very right wing and innapropro in terms of jokes and just. Awkward, and the third one was an amazing guy but has since passed! so, yeah, not sure where the evil Uncles thing comes from but it is prevalent.

Redemption Arcs. Love me a good Redemption Arc. I blame ATLA 100%

And good parents! That's a character dynamic, right? Lol. But yeah, My parents suck, and I am TIRED of sucky parents, so I am going to write ALL THE GOOD PARENT DYNAMICS! HECK!

What’s your favourite genre to write? Is it also your favourite genre to read? 

Uhhhhh that's a good? Question? Is general a genre? I like writing general things tbh, love continuations of things and just Really Good Stories! Fantasy and romance are FUN, and I quite like reading Fantasy! Romance hasn't hit the way it used to but I still quite enjoy reading a good romance :) Bonus if miscommunication ISN'T a major plot device, and BONUS BONUS if they're pals first! I like seeing development in relationships before hopping to the romance bits. Slow burn? sign me the FUCK UP

So yes, they are my faves to read as well as write! The more fantastical the better. Please, bury me in your magical lore in your fantasy lands! I will DIE HAPPY

What was your first fandom you were in? Did you make any art/fanfic for it? 

The first fandom I actively took PART in was the Mentalist! I wrote a couple of things for it, and they are up on my ff.net page. I liked Jane and Lisbon a lot! I feel like if I were to rewatch it, tho, I'd not ship them as much 🤔🤔🤔

Danny Phantom was deffs the OG OG OG phandom! My very first OC was a self-insert halfa named ghostliy princess (yes, spelt incorrectly) and that was my internet name ALL OVER THE PLACE up until MCR released Danger Days, and I decided my killjoy name would be Sapphire Sky and started changing it on ff.net. Only to find it was taken. So I went FULL WHITE LADY and spelt it in a way that nobody would EVER think was pronounced sapphire, and BOOM! SafyreSky Industries was born!

Nowadays if I had a Killjoy-sona, she'd be named Rainbow Vomit or Pastel Punk Puke 😂😂😂

BUT ANYWAY I did do some stuff for Danny Phantom! There was one Phanniemay that I was v active in and wrote a couple of oneshots for! I had plans for every prompt for the month, but then found it hard to balance my first full time job with art so it fell by the wayside.

Here are a couple of Danny Phantom things I wrote! I dare not reread them or the urge to rewrite will consume me, and I really need to focus on Crystal Springs lmao. I wanna crosspost ASAP but have been procrastinating/distracted bc of wedding planning 😅😅😅

The uh. Halfa self-insert OC has art, too. There is NOTHING that would get me to post it, I'm not even joking. She will never see the light of day (probably) and that's a rock fact! (or lie. idk man. I'll need a LOT of confidence to post those ones 😵

Anywho! thanks again for the ask! And if anyone wants to send more in please go crazy, I should be at my desk tomorrow? We'll see. I went on a clean the house rampage today, and it took the entire day to do the downstairs and the bathroom upstairs still needs to be cleaned sooooooo WHO'S TO SAY!

But yeah busy week over here! Work was busy and then I was also EXHAUSTED post Quebec trip. I napped every day this week. And then yesterday Richard and I watched back-to-back Disney flicks and then I passed out, lmao. And then today was groceries then cleaning the house! Which was gr8 actually, it was getting dusty as FUCK up in here. And guys, don't even get me STARTED on the furnace nonsense bc that's been. Well. NONSENSE. hhhh.

Anyway! Cheers and such! :)

[elytrafemme]

hello mare I am in a chatty mood and you are active so I am here to bother you hmmmmmmmmmmmm

my tumblr has been buggy lately I can't delete stuff I type in asks I have to highlight it and replace the text there with other text. also though it's fixed suddenly when I paste text in here. like then it just starts working

I applied to my first zine today so that was fun :D I just remembered you're a mod there okay sentence retracted uh I streamed and have not done much else today so I'm gonna see if I can speedrun a sandduo/emeraldduo grief fic right now for twb bingo

anyway how are you doing!!! what are you up to anything cool happen today? I see that you said you want to post a snippet of writing and if you still want to I am 👁👁

HIIIIIII

NO WAIT SIMILAR THING IS HAPPENING TO ME. and one of my friends brought it up too I think it's probably just like a small glitch w the editing of code to like do reblogs or whatever Idk but it's bothered me quite a bit!will note that tip though

HJKDFSHKJDFSHJKFDS YEAHHHHH DREAMOIRE!!!! So glad people are hyped for that <3 godspeed on the speedrunning o7

im okay im okay!!! actually happy bc despite how like ive kinda struggled today ive chatted with a lot of people and it's been really lovely i like talking to people here :] waiting for my friend to answer my text but i think she's dead asleep, she's like kind of my friend kind of my former mentor it's hard to classify her but i consider her my friend even if she's 8 years my senior <3 But yeah she's left me on read so i think she just went tf to bed i'll see her in 3-5 business days

girl i am TRYING to find a snippet but i keep getting distracted by editing some old poetry that i literally cant share but i am on the case! o7

also i was on ur stream earlier for a bit and. L + ratio + you have a pretty voice + you are certainly something when it comes to your minecraft skills

[hismercytomyjustice]

I once again find myself yelling at the tv today.

This is what happens when my husband is traveling for work.

…and also when he is at home.

Bridgerton and Helluva Boss spoilers below the cut!

This post is also basically borderline gibberish, so 🤷

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 SPOILERS AHOY!

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN THAT MAN PICKED UP LADY BRIDGERTON’S…handkerchief? I don’t actually know

BUT OH MY GOD

LET HER FIND LOVE AGAIN GODDAMMIT

Tho ngl part of me kind of shipped her and Lady Danbury but that would be a little weird what with the events of the Queen Charlotte series… STILL. I’m glad they’re at least besties.

BUT OMGGGGGG. I am so excited for her to get another chance at love!!! 😭 God the scenes in the Queen Charlotte series and the 2nd season with her broke my heart.

I also have such a soft spot for multiple great loves in one’s lifetime idk I am a sap like that. I’ve seen it in my own family and my in-laws and I just find it so sweet and bittersweet.

AUGH I AM JUST SO HAPPY AND I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE MORE WITH THIS MAN

It’s possible they actually do introduce him but I paused the episode like right after so lol I am as yet in the dark

Also I LOVE seeing Colin realize he caught feelings. Especially after Pen has pined after him for so long.

WELL WELL WELL HOW THE TURNTABLES

But omg her having to write about herself HURT MY HEART

I was wondering how they were going to mend fences somewhat with her and her struggles with Colin and Eloise and DAMN she went straight for her own jugular

THAT’S NOT SELF-COMPASSION PEN!

Ugh there is so much sweetness this season so far that I’m gonna get cavities T_T

I love getting to see the characters get to play more and be unabashedly themselves

I am a season 2 super fan lol. It’s been so nice getting to see more of the fucking phenomenal chemistry between Kate and Anthony

I love them so much T_T

I love Lady Danbury too. And that we’re getting more of her friendship with the Queen because MY HEART THE FUCKING PREQUEL OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD

T_T her love with George gives me life and also SO MUCH SADNESS

Lol it’s also a little weird watching this because I live in Charlotte, NC which consists of Mecklenburg County both of which are named after the queen lol

We are ~the Queen City~ literally. That is Charlotte’s literal nickname.

—

HELLUVA BOSS SPOILERS AHOY!

I pretty much watched the entire two seasons over the past two days

I wasn’t sure how I was gonna feel about it after Hazbin but I loved it in a different way

love Stolas so much T_T he is such a sad little bird man and CAN HE AND BLITZO JUST BE BOYFRIENDS AND GIRL DADS OKAY?!

also as soon as his dad showed up I was just like “wait one goddamn second, JAFAR?”

And it was! But I recognized him from the Broadway and then I fucking found out he had basically been Jafar since goddamn 1992???? I had no idea it was the OG Jafar in the Broadway Original Cast recording

I also really love the portrayal of Lust and his relationship with Fizz (I am too lazy to look up the spelling of his name). Just s’cute! And god the panic attack he had…ouch. Lol I really felt him on the thought spirals too. WELCOME TO THE CLUB!

Ngl Blitzo annoyed tf out of me at first but he really grew on me and PLEASE LET THEM BE BOYFRIENDS AND GIRL DADS OKAY

the episode of them as kids omfggggggg so goddamn CUTE

I also love Millie and Moxxie or however you spell it

Of course I was gonna that’s literally Invader Zim right there but omfg they’re so cute and I love how stupid in love they are

just nauseatingly so and in such a good way

I literally watched Hazbin for the first time like…2 or 3 weeks ago? And have been obsessed since. Alastor is my fave but Stolas from Helluva is right up there with him

I am BASIC OKAY

I actually only watched Hazbin because Spotify played some of the music for it on my daylist and I got hooked and now I’ve been listening to electro swing and I didn’t even think I liked jazz but then I realized I like a lot of jazz vocals from other stuff so it fit really well

—

~It’s all gibberish from here folks!~

I love…idk how to word it…like unique instrumentals? Which duh jazz, but I’ve never been a huge brass/band type instruments person

I played violin, strings are my fave

Except for the organ and the harpsichord omfggggg god I love me some fucking organ and harpsichord music

I am a SUPER COOL AND FUN AND EXCITING PERSON OKAY

lmaooooo

Ngl growing up going to church the organ music and hymns were my fave part

I don’t really go to church anymore, but damn if I don’t miss the music. Lord of the Dance is my fave hymn of all time and I used to get SO HYPE when we’d sing it

Communion was always the best too because we just got to sing hymns the whole time lol

If I’d stuck with church I’d def be in the choir now because I LOVED IT

One of my fave church memories was when I was a teen and they had a session where everyone got together and just sang favorite hymns

But I mostly stopped going to church because of how fucking toxic the folks at my church were (in addition to all the problematic shit about gender/sex and the rampant Christian hypocrisy etc) but it’s hard to escape church in the south

I drive 5min down one road and pass like 10 churches which is not much of an exaggeration because there is literally like one on every corner down here

Also found out the other day that the denomination I’m part of JUST removed the ban on lgbt preachers??? Didn’t realize we still had one, so that was a bummer, but hey at least they got there in the year of our lord 2024…..

Continuing on the church tangent I’ll never forget the time we had Baptists come to our door when I was in high school to try to share the good word and I told them I was Methodist and they just looked at me in borderline disgust before leaving 💀

Or the time the MORMONS CHASED ME when I was trying to go pick up food for my dog 💀💀💀

I saw them a few stores down and started power walking and they started hustling and I was just like “am I genuinely being chased by Mormons right now???” and I was!

To each their own, but I am not interested in being converted kthnx

I’ve got a lot of complicated stuff already with Methodism so I’m good on the religion front! Still consider myself Christian but don’t feel the need to harass other people about it! Or to evangelize! Or to actually go to church! But again, I live in the south so church in general is still very much present in the lives of my loved ones and nigh inescapable

Lmaooo no one is gonna read this monstrosity of a post but goddamn can you tell I didn’t take my adhd meds today and that my body has refused to sleep for like two weeks now!

So of course I’ve been having ocd spirals of “this is it, we’re an insomniac now, we’re never gonna sleep again, we’re gonna die from never sleeping again, it finally fucking happened” 🥰

Yaaaaay I need to go to bed

And HOPEFULLY SLEEP FOR ONCE

shut UP ocd 🖕

[duasoul]

extremely uncomfy

I think I already mentioned this but since I got my journal I have not been writing here a lot but right now is night, dark and my brother is sleeping right by my side meaning I cannot turn on the lights and write. So thanks to god and to me that worked hard to buy a decent computer with a keyboard with backlight 😂

The issue is >> there is a situation* that is making me feel uneasy and uncomfortable and I really don't like that.

*reads "someone"

I don't want to mention any names but ill call this person... S.

We hang out one time because S asked and I could not say no, I see S shooting the shots, and I appreciate that but I feel really anxious and unease about relationships that are going towards more than friendship. I see S as a work colleague only, and it would be much better if we keep that way, I keep repeating to myself that I am opened to friendships but I don't know, I am feeling like S is trying to look for something more than that.

The first time I accepted having dinner because again I could not say no, I did not feel comfortable but I went anyways and believe me it was not bad but also it was not something that I would consider good, it was more like one thing that I can add to my experience you know.

I like to keep myself busy so I am not left alone with my thoughts but being busy has been great to avoid any plans with S I am not going to lie.

Now today S asked me out again and I almost said it "as friends, right?" but I froze and just said "yes ok"

I want to disappear. Really.

This brings me anxiety, anxiety brings me lack of sleep, being on edge and feeling like I will unexist any time soon.

Don't get me wrong, S seems to be a good person, kind, chill and respectful, S might have green flags all around but I am the red flag, I know that, I am fine with that, I am cool with being by myself, I feel in control like that

I don't know which trauma that happened during my childhood is causing this, might have been more than one to be honest, but I really don't like this. I like to hang out with my friends sometimes, because I feel comfortable with them but no with S cause I feel like there are some expectations being done and I hate it.

I think that relationships are not a good thing and it will make me less than what I am. I feel like relationships are more like a burden you carry around. Also, when I was a kid something really not that of a big deal happened but it really stuck with me and I hate the idea of seeing me with someone. (not me again calling traumatic events "not a big deal" just because I was a kid or something.).

As I was growing up, being by myself and stating that I would always be by myself has created this belief that I can't take back what I have said.

I don't want people asking questions, making assumptions or giving unwanted opinions. I don't want to become hot topic, and yes I understand it is not big of a deal like who tf cares about it? ~ but anyways, it is how I feel.

I feel like is wrong, and I try to hide it from other people to avoid questions, judgments and whatever... I don't feel comfortable, at ease or like I can keep doing these.

I am struggling to stand and speak for myself because I am afraid of other judgements or thoughts. Deep down I don't feel worthy and I do care what people think in an unhealthy amount.

I feel so stressed about those small things that I feel like I need to cry it out to find some relief.

it would be a cry of anger somehow, that how I feel. Frustrated, angry and unease.

I don't want to lie but I am not being able to tell the truth and this is killing me

Now I feel like we need to hang out just to get over with this and then if S asks me out again I might cry in despair, punch S in the face or just finally get the urge to say "im gonna stop you right there"

it is okay to say no. Why is it so hard? I don't want to play with peoples emotions and feelings, but if feels like im doing that to myself. Forcing my self to do things I don't want to do, I am not respecting boundaries or I am just avoiding myself from confronting things that makes my anxiety worse. Why is it so complicated? Let me rephrase it, why do I make things worse?

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[bibblelevi]

Hey sar, just here to marvel at your genius!

Chapter 11, wow– I honestly have no words. I have the chapter open again and I am just saying whatever comes because my brain after reading it was just MUSH from all the angst and emotions.

I truly feel your interpretation/characterisation of levi is the most accurate I have read in a LONG, long time. SS is definitely within my top fanfictions ever tbh. I have no proper words to describe how much I loved this chapter apart from screaming and foaming at the mouth and spamming my other moots who haven’t read this to go read thIS FIC RIGHT TF NOW.

Gosh, we love a good Levi-centric chapter, don’t we? I mean, yes, the reader was absolutely present, but I love it when you hurt me with how accurately you describe the workings of his mind. They leave a long-lasting effect. His brain always tries to govern his heart. That’s just something he has had to do since he was a child. There was no time for feelings, no time to not worry. He could never not worry, never not care - but he also never had an outlet. He used to it festering for a long time, and after the Battle of Heaven and Earth, he could finally let go. And even then, in SS, which takes place only three years after… It's still hard. And I feel, in the perspective of mental health or even psychologically speaking and considering who he is as a person, I am so glad - I know it sounds strange - to see him struggling still. Glad, because it’s accurate. I have read fanfics - and I am not going to name and shame - where he’s fine and dandy in his little tea shop in Marley and that just wouldn’t be the case. He loves the teashop - he’s entitled to - but you writing him at struggling with peace - something he has longed for for years - it’s realistic. Painful, raw, but realistic.

Levi coming to his breaking point - or to a breaking point of some description - was so sad. It was definitely bound to happen. And I’m sure in the next chapter, given what you have told us is gonna happen in chapter 12– I’m sure we’ll see more depressive Levi. His tears– oh Sar, his TEARS. I was tearing up too. I’m glad they all came out, even if it was because of sex, because the poor man was so pent up (sexually yes, but I have yet to come across a more emotionally constipated character.) Istfg it’s like, “ah yes i have expressed one (1) feeling today, that’s enough” like BRO. The reader caring for him in the bath

“An unexpected tear escapes the corner of his eye, and you reach up and wipe it away, the water melting into the pad of your thumb. You want to tell him everything’s going to be okay—that’s he’s wonderful, and you know he’s trying his best—but you know he wants to pretend like he’s alone, and that you’re not seeing him come apart like this, so you stay quiet, continuing to wipe the tears as they come.”

This paragraph just kills me. The poor man. I am so in love with him, and I am in love with how you write.

AND FUCKING THIS–

“All I’m saying is—” He turns his gaze back towards the faucet and catches his reflection in the silver, “if you wanted to kiss… or fuck… anyone else… I wouldn’t like it.”

THATS IT HE SAID ILY. THATS THE CLOSEST WE HAVE GOTTEN TO ILY VERBALLY (i say verbally because literally 95% of this guy’s actions are out of love for reader, VERBALLY THIS IS SO CLOSE.)

Sar you are a genius and I can’t wait to be hurt again 😭😭😭😭

CECE!!! The fact that you had the fic open on another page as you typed this AHHH WHY DOES RHAT MSKE ME SO EXCITED!!

It was so fun to write something Levi-centric. I don’t consider myself like, a master of his character or anything, but it’s kinda fun to pick apart a brain and try to write their responses to the things around them/figure out why they are the way they are/etc. Lowkey like a character study?

Also, I am a SICK person because I love writing about men crying. I love their tears. I love their emotions. Because I think at heart Levi’s actually really sensitive okay :(( LIKE I JUST LOVE A GOOD SENSITIVW MAN WITH A BIG FAT HEART OKAY

AND FINALLY YES THERE’S SOME EXCLUSIVITY GOING ON. This way, they both know neither of them wants anyone else (at this point in time). They might as well be together honestly.

Thank you for reading cece :)) I’m always excited to read what you thought about the chapters and such

[kaitycole]

bi fem!reader with a crush

Request: How would Suna and Atsumu feel about their fem S/O being bisexual and having a crush on a girl from class while dating them!! It’s just the struggle 😩😩

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this and of course it’s just my standpoint as a bisexual female and my husband’s. It would seem I married a Suna lol

**The crush depicted is a simple surface level “oh they are cute!” type of crush that people often develop on celebrities. This was in no way meant to be toxic or harmful to the bisexual community, as stated before I am openly bisexual and I know how harmful stereotypes can be, this was not meant to be that. 

**The last line for Suna was a direct quote to how my husband would feel if it was him and I. 

Atsumu

- If you are openly out, he will proudly boast that not only does he have good taste (because he picked his girlfriend) but also that you have good taste

- If you’re not openly out then he just makes the good taste comment an inside joke between the two of you

- Will tease tf out of you whenever your crush is around

- Definitely said “oh look it’s (Crush)” just to get you to look around nervously on multiple occasions

- I think that Atsumu is loud to help drown out the thoughts of things that bother him, so I can see even if he’s all “I think it’s cool!” on the outside, sometimes he’s insecure about it

- Like you are this amazing girl and if you are crushing on someone they must be awesome, so he gets worried that you’ll leave

- It is in no way that toxic mindset of “you like both genders so you’ll cheat!” and more in the way that he worries he’s not good enough for you

- Because to him you are perfect and he’s just this loudmouth, overly confident volleyball player (his words, definitely not yours)

- At first, he’d start comparing himself to the crush and probably make himself all bummed out and upset because he’s overthought it to the point he can’t understand why you’re with him

- Just reassure him, reminding him of all the reasons that you love him and are with him and he’ll perk back up really quick

Suna

- You were worried about telling him because sometimes his almost bored expression can be hard to read so you didn’t know how he’d act

- But he just shrugged, asked if she was cute and then gave you a fist bump

- Man knows to appreciate good taste and he’s very secure in your relationship and trusts you

- Let’s be honest, he probably has a simple crush or two himself

- Also teases relentlessly

- Will come up behind you and whisper “did you see (Crush) today? She looked really nice” just to watch you hide your face in embarrassment

- Has several pictures on his phone of you talking to your crush because he absolutely adores the bashful smile you have on your face, it similar to the one you made when you first started talking to him (definitely uses them as “blackmail”)

- Will make a “so threesome?” joke (unless…)

- He won’t really show it, but he’s glad that you not only felt comfortable enough to disclose your sexuality to him (if she isn’t really open about it or only tells select people) but that you also felt comfortable enough to tell him about a crush

- As long as it stays a crush he’s pretty indifferent to it because you chose him after all, but he would express concern if it seemed like the simple crush was moving into more than a crush territory

Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated!

Interested in more? --> Masterlist

[arhvste]

❝atsumu, kuroo, tsukishima and bokuto playing acnh ❞

miya atsumu

→ first he called the game dumb but he eventually gave in because everyone and their aunts were playing it and he didn’t wanna be left out

→ mf tries so hard for raymond at first

→ he insists it’s just because he can sell him for a lot

→ he really just wants raymond because he lowkey reminds him of osamu

→ anyways this fool doesn’t get raymond but ya know who he does get?

→ pedro

→ atsumu was ✨disgusted✨

→ “a clown?! a fukn clown?! yer jokin me!”

→ “aw don’t cry he fits in so well on your island 😹”

→ “sHUT YER TRAP 😠😠😠”

→ he hated pedro at first and for what?

→ eventually he starts vibing with him though

→ he decides that perhaps... pedro isn’t a bad guy after all

→ so atsumu develops a soft spot for him and begins to favour him over the rest of his mediocre villagers whose names he can’t be bothered to remember

→ ya know whose name he can remeber though?

→ BELLA 😡😠😡😠😡😡😠

→ the name that sparks rage in him

→ atsumu hits his villagers with his net shouting “nice cut g!” as a joke

→ with bella he’s not joking 😐

→ he hits her repeatedly and grins maliciously when she gets angry eventually

→ LOVES shoving her into pitfalls for absolutely no reason

→ cusses her out under his breath

→ writes hate mail to her only to get fustrated when she sends a nice reply about the flowers she saw the other day that reminded her of him

→ honestly bella girl it ain’t worth it, pack your bags and get outta there sis 😔

→ he wants her to get tf off his island because he doesn’t like her but he also kinda wants her to stay because he loves annoying her and making her angry

→ literally goes out of his way to buy the ugliest clothes for her to wear

→ he also has all his villagers address him as “big dick man”

→ pedro is special though 😳

→ pedro is the chosen one who gets to call him “tsumu”

→ JUST PEDRO 😤😾😡

→ literally thinks it’s the funniest thing when his villagers say “hey big dick man! the weather sure is great today isn’t it!”

→ you can hear his cackling from down the hall

→ thinks it’s the peak of comedy

→ oh and you’re not allowed to visit his island on a saturday

→ saturdays are “for the boys”

→ and by that he means he’s just going to buy a ton of matching clothes for him and pedro and talk to him all day until he eventually annoys pedro by accident to which he genuinely gets upset about

→ he doesn’t really bother with the fishing tourneys or bug offs

→ does catch a few though just to make sure he beats bella earns nook miles

→ pretty average island, not too much effort put into it yet

→ atsumu prefers channeling his energy and game time into bullying bella interacting with his villagers

kuroo tetsurō

→ bangs. it. tf. out.

→ literally acts like he doesn’t care about the game but has 395+ hours game time

→ uses the excuse it’s to play with kenma but kuroo actually got into it before kenma had the chance to look at it properly

→ fishing tourney KING

→ has multiple gold trophy’s and built a whole extension just to show them off

→ also treats all his villagers equally

→ he was a bit picky and only wanted cats and dogs on his island though

→ if you’re anything but a cat or a dog, i’m sorry but kuroo will timeskip you tf off of his island

→ has a soft spot for lucky but doesn’t admit it

→ he likes to come across as a “fair dictator of the island”

→ just admit luckys your fav and go oh my god

→ his house is really nice too

→ pretty much paid off all his debt and is financially responsible 😼

→ he will send you money over a few times a week because he claims he’s a good boyfie virtually and realistically

→ LOVES opening the letters from ‘mom’

→ it’s a small detail in the game but it brings kuroo comfort when he opens the letters and sometimes receives gifts from his virtual ‘mom’ 🥺

→ keeps all the letters from her because that’s what he would do if his real mom ever wrote to him

→ he’s a shameless timeskipper

→ “tetsu?? where tf did you get all this the games only been out a week??”

→ “👁👁 idk what you’re talking about baby”

→ the thing that annoys him the most are the fossils

→ HATES the stupid little marks in the ground that appear every day

→ also HATES talking to blathers

→ “spit it out already! i have places to be and villagers to see!”

→ completely ignores blathers’ real name and refers to him as ‘bokuto’

→ because he’s an owl duh

→ and bokuto also talks a lot

→ you thought it was a cute friendship thing at first but took it back when you heard him muttering under his breath

→ “oh my god just analyse the fossils already you himbo bird!”

→ “did you just call blathers a himbo? 😳”

→ “...no? 😳👀”

→ all in all, kuroo’s pretty good at the game

→ you like visiting his island because he has a ton of extra stuff he just gives you

→ “i never want to hear you call me a bad boyfriend again 😐”

→ “okay fine...but oNLY if you give me an ironwood dresser 😏”

tsukishima kei

→ another one who bangs it out

→ doesn’t really care when you point it out though

→ “you’re just jealous your islands a dumping ground compared to mine 🥱”

→ “k-kei 😔”

→ also sprints near where you’re fishing to scare the fish off and be spiteful 💀

→ little shit KNOWS you only need oranges to complete all the fruits on your island

→ he also knows you’re out of nook miles tickets

→ “aw that’s a shame, maybe if you were a bit better at the game you’d find them quicker but good luck! 😀”

→ oranges are his native fruit 😐😑😐

→ eventually he gives you them because you’re relentless and his patience runs thin after a while

→ good at the bug offs

→ pretty good at scorpion/tarantula hunting too

→ convinced spike is in love with him after the amount of scorpions and tarantulas he’s donated to him

→ his fossil exhibition in the museum is completed already

→ when blathers tells him the facts about the dinosaurs he just rolls his eyes

→ “i knew that already you stupid bird 🙄”

→ why’s everyone bullying blathers damn 😿

→ now, he likes henry

→ one of the few villagers he doesn’t bully

→ tsukki doesnt particularly care for majority of his villagers

→ henry has a special place in his heart though

→ maybe it’s because henry isn’t overly perky or he isn’t rude like the cranky villagers which tsukishima doesn’t like

→ henry is just??? so??? nice????

→ he can’t hate him

→ all his villagers have catchphrases that are dumb af

→ tsukki thought he was being clever when he made them but he just looks mean when other people talk to his villagers

→ “good morning i am useless! i love your outfit!”

→ henry gets to call him tsukki though

→ only because he figured out that henry reminds him of yamaguchi

→ that’s the only reason henry’s the exception to his bullying

→ i feel like tsukki has a pretty nice house too

→ he makes a lot of bells from selling scorpions and tarantulas and spare fossils he’s dug up

→ doesn’t really care about the size but has very detailed rooms

→ like all the furniture in his rooms follow a scheme

→ mf never opens his mailbox

→ doesn’t care for what the other “peasants have to say for themselves”

→ terraforming isn’t really his thing tbh

→ doesn’t like how slow the process and be and kinda likes the natural flat land

→ he likes laying down paths though

→ cusses villagers out when they get in the way though

→ full on shoves them and will keep shoving them until they get annoyed just because they’ve annoyed him

→ tsukki doesnt put as much time into the game as kuroo but his island is still pretty good and aesthetically pleasing

→ he just won’t help you make yours look like that 💀

bokuto koutarō

→ weeds. everywhere.

→ get so confused when he’s told he has to pick them all

→ “really? why can’t i just let them grow though i kinda like them 🤩”

→ mf ✨struggles✨ at the first stages

→ “y/n, you know i love you, please give me 30 iron nuggets 🥺💖💞💗”

→ ofc you give them to him because you’re well ahead in the game and don’t need them as much as he does

→ praises you like royalty but then he’s back to begging for materials from you 💀

→ doesn’t pay his debts

→ you’re gonna have to help him out here

→ doesn’t like the idea of having to constantly pay them off

→ like?? he doesn’t want a bigger house so why is this damn raccoon always bothering him to upgrade like leave him and his 2 room house alone 😠

→ has a the same camp bed and lamp from when he first moved out the tent 💀

→ insists he doesn’t need another one because the furniture all functions the same

→ he has a point tbf but his house just isn’t aesthetically pleasing

→ he also hoards stuff

→ common butterfly? yeah bokuto has 37 sitting in his storage

→ doesn’t like letting the bugs go because he “caught them fair and square”

→ you show him how to pay his debts back and then he dedicates a whole room to his stupid bugs 💀

→ loves blathers and celeste just because they’re owls

→ doesn’t care about what they’re wittering on about he loves interacting with them just because they’re the only owls in the game 😐

→ his favourite villager is kid cat

→ literally follows him around and sprints circles around him

→ l o v e s the chaos outside the town hall

→ 2 of his villagers are singing, 3 are running around and 1 is just watching like 🧍🏻‍♀️

→ HYPES his singing villagers tf up

→ “yeah get it bianca! turn it up!!! 🥳🥳”

→ has to match his villagers clothes at least once a week

→ also makes them all refer to him as “the best ace”

→ it boosts his ego a little more each time they say it

→ bokuto actually got raymond out of luck but had no idea who tf he was and just how popular he was

→ lets that mf go without advertising that raymond’s in boxes

→ atsumu screeches when he finds this out eventually

→ bokuto doesn’t care what his villagers look like everyone’s welcome

→ bella should move to bokuto’s island and move from atsumu’s because bokuto will accept her with open arms rather than a net to the head everytime he sees her 😿

→ ALWAYS remembers birthdays for his villagers

→ and always shows up to their birthday parties insisting he’s the life of the party and they’d be bored without him 😹

→ which is true to a certain degree cause the party only really starts when the player arrives

→ bokuto is actually okay at terraforming

→ quickly changes his mind after an hour of building and digging and restarts it all over again

→ he can make his island look pretty good

→ theres just weeds and buried fossils everywhere though 👁👁

→ also forgets his turnips go bad

→ literally the least financially responsible out of them all

→ it’s okay though because you help him and he eventually gets the hang of it

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @atsunakaashi @peteunderoos @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei

please send an ask to be added / removed from my taglist

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[ayeefad]

The chase

…..and I’m not talking about Chase Center.

Hi, old friend. Since 2017, I’ve probably bumped into you a few times. Combed through old posts and reminisced and reflected on the different times in my life. Got a good laugh and went on about my day. But today, at 1:28AM on a Friday night — I choose to catch you up. You’ve always been a good listener. The BEST listener. And so much has changed that I don’t even know where to begin. For starters, I’m 27. LMAO… like where tf did time go. I literally pay my own bills, drive my own car, manage a team at work, am in a serious ass (damn near marry me) relationship with the same guy that I used to be on here writing about. It’s so wild when I really think about it.

High level summary — I truly do love who I have become. I’ve matured gracefully and it’s taken a lot for me to get here. So I really am proud of that. But I also want to acknowledge the level of ???? I still have on life. I’m still on this constant search and battle to be the best version of me. Aka “the chase”. One thing I’ve come to realize and am uncomfortable with is how hard I still am to please. When it comes to others, I give praise and gratitude when its deserved, yet I struggle to find that for myself. Even with all that I know I’ve accomplished, my brain and being is always one step ahead. It’s exhausting and not always the best feeling. I have a lot to work through, but I want you to know I’m doing fine. As fine as I’ll ever be during this crucial adulting point in my life lol.

What the pandemic has taught me is that it’s important for us to live in the present and celebrate our little wins. Everyday, I’m trying my best to keep at it. I don’t have it all figured out, but what does “figured out” even mean or look like? I’ve come to realize it’s all in the state of mind. I’m working on it and I hope you’ll be my listening ear again. I’ve changed, but in the best way. ILYSM