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#I AM LITERALLY A ROOM AWAY
livelivefastfree · 11 days
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fear as a counterweight
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footballshowrot · 1 year
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come closer i am just a regular scene😄 UH OH! changes your brain chemistry
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here's some tidbits from the Laughingstock Misunderstanding fic outline, just 'cause i got mild amusement outta them and thought y'all might too <3
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lloydfrontera · 8 months
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male authors, writing m/m friendships: their bond will develop through hundreds of chapters, we will get to see each stage of their budding relationship, they'll constantly be in each other thoughts, their first instinct will always be to reach for the other, their first worry will always be the other's safety, they'll spend every minute of the day together, they'll be complete opposites and yet perfectly compliment each other, they will put everything they ever loved in risk just to keep the other safe, they will give their life without hesitation to save the other's, they will fight and argue and tease and joke around but they will always be at each other's side at the end of the day, they will plan to spend the rest of their lives together, sharing the happy moments and the hard times, the idea of being without the other being unthinkable, the thought of being always together coming naturally, as easy as breathing.
the same male authors, writing m/f romance: she'll like,, smile once at him and he'll start thinking of marrying her and having children with her idk
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somecunttookmyurl · 2 years
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all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults
you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something
#yeah i have netflix on all day#i am quite literally signed off of work for the -rest of my life-#what the fuck else would you like me to do with my time when most people are in fact at work#or did you think i can't have the tv on and put laundry away at the same time or something#must i work on commissions on silence in a dour room to be perceived as an adult#anyway 'looking after yourself/your home/your pet' is not observable#to anybody who doesn't like ACTUALLY live in your house#unless you are extremely obviously NOT doing it#if a tree falls in a forest etc#owning a house? job. like not even 'in this economy? lol'#disabled people LITERALLY can't because we aren't allowed to have enough savings for a deposit#car? would you honestly trust me with a vehicle lol but also: job#you mostly cannot buy a car without one it's a requirement for the lease#otherwise you aren't 'trusted' to pay it on time#incidentally most landlords will also - perfectly legally - refuse to rent to you because you are going to be unreliable with the rent#which is being paid directly by the gov anyway like take your trust issues up with them bro#a family? if i get married or cohabit with a partner my income gets sliced in half#so to support even myself let alone a child would require. drumroll please. employment#savings? adults have savings right? yeah but unlike you i have a gov enforced cap on mine#'good furniture not shit from ikea' (someone has remarked that ikea furniture is 'college dorm-y' it's going here)#i mean do i have to say it
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Brb gotta just yell into the void
#GOD IM JUST#so both Q and I were under the impression we would be getting help fixing the place#almost a full week later#it’s basically just been me his elderly grandma and him when hes not working#which is very little time since he’s full time#I have been working on this place from basically sunrise to sunset#doing what I can to make it clean and repaint#but I can’t do most repairs#mainly what the bathroom needs#but today#ooooooo today#Q’s parents are getting on our nerves man#we’ve been trying to explain that the bathroom is not functional in it’s current state#and instead of Q’s father#the landlord of this place who decided keeping it while living two and a half hours away was a smart idea#helping to fix said bathroom#says he’d rather work on the living room floor which is the lowest priority#and when we expressed this to them#his mother goes#if you don’t like it you can go live somewhere else#EXCUSE ME#I have literally been spending all the time I can trying to fix up YOUR place for you two#to the point where I am now coming down with a cold and my lowing back is killing me#where Q is sacrificing every free moment he has trying to do what he can while working a full time job#and THIS is the thanks we get???????#what the hell#anyway they’re coming tomorrow but Q has work so I am going to cry#I am so exhausted and stressed if they pull some shit I might just do something I shouldn’t#I want this to be over#the second were able to afford a house we’re getting the hell out of here
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months
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sometimes i get nishiki i really do
#snap chats#like from an outsider perspective it is utterly hilarious watching everything go wrong for him#BUT GIRL NOT ME STOP HAVING THIGNS GO WRONG FOR MEEEEEE WHAT IS ALL THIS#this month its actually one thing after another if i start wearing white everyone needs to be concerned#you guys remember my bullshit roommates yeah well TLDR im getting fined for their messes im going to SCREAM#I HATE IT HEERRRREEE I KNOW IM EVIL BUT CMON#literally had such a silly night last night and now everything sucks again is this life is this what life is#its not its not what life is im just hearing my mom bitching in the other room and im letting her vibes ruin mine#everything going to be ok this is just a hiccup .... a small pinprick in the tapestry of life ....#i am incredibly annoyed though cause this is one of those situations where youve done nothing wrong but youre being shot for it#its just unfair but whatever we ball ..... im putting the hair gel away guys im not slicking my hair back just yet ....#i got a new friend last night so maybe ill just hang with them later and ill remember life is beautiful ..#heh ... jk ... i can remind myself life is beautiful right now ... im gonna go eat some tiramisu ...#jesus christ i really do love italian food what the fuck. pasta / calamari / tiramisu#i dont think calamari is italian but i got it from an italian place w/e we get the picture#its not my fault that italy has good food ... i would just never go there .....#ok bye ima go eat and drink water now. water will remind me how beautiful life is ...
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mrkis · 1 year
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so you're telling me..............
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theloveinc · 2 years
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always finkin about bein’ dilf!bakugo’s secretary hehe <3
i thought of him every day at the desk job i had, too🙏🏻
i feel like ... he sees you before he meets you. and it's not any kind of personal thing until it is. all non-hero hires are approved by him, yes, but he doesn't go through the actual hiring process with anyone cuz he assumes he's never gonna meet them aside from dropped off papers and few phone calls here and there when required.
but then you appear on his floor, right there next to the nurse station and the break room with the nicest coffee machine, and for some reason it's not like any of the other times new secretaries have been hired and sat outside his office.
and he always sees you, stares at you when he thinks you aren't looking, pondering just why and how he thinks you're so pretty, though you can always seem to tell and turn to talk to him like you pity him just a little bit. but his rusty heart flutters nonetheless (much to his chagrin) because he thinks you're the sweetest thing since kiri's daughter (which he'd never admit, not with how many diapers he's been made to change) to include him in your conversations with other team members.
and because he's older now, often remembers that even denki got married a couple years ago, he needs someone to daydream about at least to make the time pass since he's started thinking about all kinds of old man shit (see: his lonely ass bachelor pad). but he doesn't want that void filled with the pregnant florist from around the corner, nor the ditzy, young barista boy who once spilled chocolate syrup on his boots (he doesn't even like chocolate syrup).
but who does that leave except you? for him to think about when he passes by nice restaurants suited for romantic dates, or beautiful bouquets and liquors when he's sending flowers to his parents, OR even kids who get in his way when he's patrolling in family neighborhoods.
your job is already soooo domestic, and you always put little smiley faces and doodles on the post-its filled with reminders you leave for him, wave at him so sweetly from across the hall even though he's heaving and scowling; that has to mean something, doesn't it? DOESN'T IT?????
especially when he's at home and his dick is hard and god damnit, you wore those pants the other day, with the shirt that shows a lil bit of your cleavage and he needs a wank so bad and there is no one else he wants to envision :((((
so if he thinks about the (green? orange?) sliver of thong he saw the other day or maybeeee wedding and pregnancy sex and then comes in the next day with donuts pestering you more than usual about this and that, that's none of anyone's business.
(until, that is, you have your own little squirt running around the agency).
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jawz · 22 hours
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can't stop thinking about shannon hanchett's death. i feel sick. i don't even know if something like justice exists for what was done to her.
#like if they call you crazy they will just put you wherever. they will neglect you or torture you or kill you. they dont fucking care.#nobody does#temporarily losing my legal autonomy as an adult via being in the psych ward is one of the scariest things ive ever experienced#and i didnt go thru a fraction of what shannon hanchett went thru. i mean the difference of psych ward and jail too#i was in 4 times inpatient and 1 outpatient as a teenager and it sucked sure. but it was like a playground compared to the adult ward.#but after my overdose age 20 one of the cops got in the ambulance with the EMTs as i was losing consciousness#and the cop rode with us literally pounding on my chest to try and keep me awake and like asking 'who is the president' etc. but#he was hitting me with his knuckles. my breastbone fucking bruised black and blue. it took weeks to fade away#(mastectomy is relevant here bc i have less tissue in my chest than most ppl do. the bones feel closer to the surface)#so yeah that hurt like a mf but i didnt feel it fully in the moment cause i lost consciousness during the 7-10 min ride to the ER.#and then after being in the ER on an IV for ? hours and being moved to the psych ward... they just fucking left me for 2-3 days. i dont eve#KNOW because i dont REMEMBER because i was fucking zonked from all the pills i overdosed on. i had no sense of time at all.#and it turns out one of my best friends was showing up every day & begging/demanding the nurses to put me on an iv bc i was dehydrated#since i was out of it obv not able to eat or drink. and they wouldnt. and she was begging them to check on me or attend to me because they#simply left me in my room for days. no clue if a doctor saw me after i left the ER. my blood pressure was literally 60/30 though.#which was extremely painful thats all i remember of those days. it still hurt so fuckin much the day i finally got up and was semi consciou#like my muscles were being squeezed yet exploding. walking was so difficult. it was some of the worst pain of my entire life#besides some sense memories of incredible pain and discomfort it's like blank from when i passed out in the ambulance until that 3rd day#my friend told me later she didnt even know if i was in a coma or something. they wouldnt tell anyone anything#so then i saw the psych team and i remember seeing the room as if thru a 10 meter tunnel. and the doctor started telling me#how lucid and aware i was. repeatedly. he was like. pleasantly surprised. meanwhile i actually felt like my entire body was about to ruptur#and i KNEW that doctor was implying 'you're so aware and insightful - unlike all those Real schizo freaks here!!!!'#ha ha doc! i'm crazy enough that i could easily tell passive lies & come across as fairly well adjusted (when i wasnt activly spiraling.) s#fucking despised him for that. well i would fight & die for the people who were there w/ me. but i would NEVER fucking save a psychiatrist.#police/psych industry overlap is hell for me to hear about. it makes me so fucking angry i want to scream and just rip all my hair out#the helplessness drives me fucking insane i will never ever trust authority because i know they dont care if i die.#i was the fucking. hysterical womanman with a death wish. of course they didnt fucking care if i died.#i was not fucking tortured like she was tho. what i experienced just pales in comparison to this news story. im not trying to#make it about me it just brings everything back. it reminds me how fucking lucky i am. HOW FUCKING LUCKY I AM TO BE ALIVE AND HAVE AUTONOMY#we're all fucking BLESSED to not be institutionalized rn
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luck-of-the-drawings · 4 months
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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curioscurio · 1 year
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ITS 9 AT NIGHT DONT YOU NEED TO LEAVE AND TAKE YOUR 4 YEAR OLD HOME YET GO AWAY I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LEAVE MY HOUSE AND GIVE ME SOME PEACE FOR A FEW HOURS. literally my social battery is negative its negative and you playing cocomelon at 9pm on this Saturday night in my own fucking home is killing me. I have not had more than 30 minutes of privacy the past 3 days just GO AWAY GO AWAY
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hamartia-grander · 9 months
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Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south
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get yourself a cat who will smack you impatiently, then once you pick her up she sprawls on your back to groom herself, and five minutes later gets up to Sneeze 3x in your freshly washed hair
#this cat i swear to fucking god. shes so Funny#she literally. sometimes when shes impatient she'll do the stretchy reachy thing#but this time she just. reared up and smacked me with both paws. and claws#then she had the AUDACITY to sit there looking at me like i personally spayed her#until i picked her up. then she did the above#like GIRL#i had to put my pizza away while hunched tf over#she has too much personality. like put some Back#(kidding. shes perfect (a menace))#absolutely unprompted#and then she immediately did something Else that was hysterical#i put the pizza away i refilled my water#then i was gonna go back to my room and she was sitting there looking at me with a Very displeased expression#very clearly being like 'am i invited into your room. youve kicked me out twice today. am i Allowed. huh.'#so i passive aggressively stuck my arm out a la ~After You Your Esteemed Highness~#and she. she IMMEDIATELY leapt up and galloped to my room#WHO GAVE HER THE RIGHT-#swear to fuck a wizard turned her into a cat. she's too Human#which i would fully believe if i hadn't taken her from her mother myself as a teeny kitten#Wow That Sounds Fucking Mean lmfao#but god damn. tonight she has quite the Attitude#on another note i just had to kill a spider on my freshly washed rug. which i washed last night bc i had to kill a Different spider on it#i think i scrubbed the Residue out well enough#either way im not going through the ordeal of rug washing again#i need a different one. i still Really want a cowhide rug. ill settle for fake ikea wool for now
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anurarana · 18 days
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Remember when I said my roommate was really cool and chill. Well that lasted a week
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magentagalaxies · 4 months
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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