#I Am Unwell (TM)

[seeker-ophelia]

14 Days Until Veilguard

Technically 13 days, 23 hours and 27 minutes but who's counting...

I AM UNWELL

[partial-bouquet]

This book is rewriting my brain chemistry

[alectoperdita]

Hey, I saw you hadn’t posted in a while and I hope you’re doing okay. I’m sorry if you’ve been going through a hard time lately, and if that’s the case I hope you have some better days soon. Please take care <3

In news that probably surprises no one, I am struggling.

Thank you for your kind sentiments, anon. Hope you are better off than I am.

[margindoodles2407]

"No no no, I'm totally fine and not thinking about Ahsoka and Rex, as always," says the lying liar who lies

[redwayfarers]

assigned: unwell, therapy recommended

It’s taken Artoirel a moment to realise how much of a mercy this is. He doesn’t dare interpret it as a sign of care, not quite yet, but he’s grateful nevertheless. Said mothers did warn him about the difficulty of his choice, but he did see the relief in their eyes, knowing that their son has someone steadfast by his side. He wonders if his own father would share the same relief. For Haurchefant, certainly. For Emmanellain, perhaps. But for Artoirel? The fact he has to wonder at all speaks much more than any answer could.  But he has bigger things to worry about, such as the hurt in his chest at Nika’s shame-fueled anger that had nowhere to go but to Artoirel. He knows it’s not personal, he even understands the impulse, and yet, his eyes prickle with tears he can’t shed. Relief comes when Nika’s mother rushes in, looks between them and just signals for Artoirel to go.  Ordinarily, he would’ve been insulted. As it stands, he takes the direction and leaves, though he stops to watch Nika stifle a scream in his mother’s neck. Artoirel hardly remembers what his mother’s hugs felt like. He cannot seem to recall a recent one from his father, either.  If his insides were a battlefield, they would signal a lost battle.

[foeofcolor]

If I think about him too long it makes me physically sick.

[unvergangliche]

icons v unlikely to be used unless you're someone she loves and you're dying - also i'll be tagging anime / manga spoilers for fri-fri under fri.eren spoilers tw without the period ! i'm almost to chapter 118 so ! also fun fact fri.eren's last interaction with heiter in the manga she actually has a whole panel where her face is like this and it's uh really happy -

something about it is so gut wrenching because she doesn't cry. because her name literally! means 'freezing' and she's been seen even by all her friends who loved / love her as 'coldhearted' and she's so unaware that she has a great capacity for love and care and kindness! as much as callousness and apathy and disinterest! they don't go without each other and all people have multifaceted aspects! , she's a person! the way she had an inkling about heiter's lie about ewig the sage and the 'immortality spell / resurrection spell ' for fern to have more time with him and he with her . . . ' fern is ready to say goodbye to you ' her telling him not to regret things like she does because oh god she has so much regret. and it never stops.

basically telling her beloved friend and favorite corrupt priest not to regret anything like she does.

[seeker-ophelia]

Happy 3 weeks to Veilguard!

Happy 3 weeks to Veilguard! We're Almost There!

(I am sure I have seen something like this before- I don't think this is an original idea but I made my own with amazing artists fanart)

Solas is also in Solavellan Hell

@pinacoladamatata

@nipuni

@hejee

@infernaldaydreams

@mogwaei

@wepepe-draws

@datatwohearts

@annahenriart

@astra-lun

@izzym-art

@princesscaramel

@nukue

@aqwi-aqwi

(I didn't ask for anyone's permission to do this so if you dislike being tagged/me using your art plz message me and I'll swap it out)

[lastoneout]

I'm waiting to watch Wicked until the home release and so I've only really seen gifs and the 'What Is This Feeling' scene and like, at first I was kinda confused about the like...idk neurotic? twitchy?? body language/acting choices Ariana Grande is bringing to her Glinda but ngl it's growing on me. Reminds of me of when you pretend to be fancy in a silly way and add a bunch of exaggerated flourishes to the way you move, but taken dead seriously. The theatricality of it is really just *muah* like this character has always had Issues(tm) but now you look at her gay little run and the way she holds her hands like she's waiting for her nail polish to dry and get the overwhelming vibe that she is Genuinely Unwell, and tbh that's something I didn't know I wanted but am so very happy to have.

[impossible-rat-babies]

vierapril day 19 -- shatter

but in my head, i am still i can still feel you breathing slow ive known this dream for a long time

i took these but couldnt find a good place for them in the set, so they get put here.

anyway yeah. azem haunts the both of them. its all good. its fine TM it doesnt at all impact how they see and interact with each other. both of them these remnants of the old w the new, what is and isn't remembered. eyrie being the last dregs of charon, the woman that themis loved but not even that could save them. both dutiful creatures until the end.

me grabbing ur shoulders i can so unwell about them

[seeker-ophelia]

But wait there's more.

Forewarned,

#Long Post, and also a (bad) Literary Analysis by an Electrician.

Okay, I've been in angst for so long I re-watched a much of older Jane Austin moves on Netflix and... you guys... they're all solavellan.

Solas & Predjudice

A slew of miscommunications and “prejudices” cause a kerfuffle for the Bennet family. The main couple, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, eventually find love after throwing away their pride, and the prejudices they heard about the other from untrustworthy sources. All of the attraction between the two is conveyed without them touching, halted broken voices, the infamous “hand,” etc.

Austen is thought to have taken her title from a passage in Fanny Burney's Cecilia (1782), a novel she is known to have admired: "The whole of this unfortunate business," said Dr Lyster, "has been the result of PRIDE and PREJUDICE. ... if to PRIDE and PREJUDICE you owe your miseries, so wonderfully is good and evil balanced, that to PRIDE and PREJUDICE you will also owe their termination."

The American novelist Anna Quindlen observed in an introduction to an edition of Austen's novel in 1995: Pride and Prejudice is also about that thing that all great novels consider, the search for self. And it is the first great novel that teaches us this search is as surely undertaken in the drawing room making small talk  (hello, DragonAge Dialogue) as in the pursuit of a great white whale...

Next is Jane Eyre, in which the male Protag, Edward, might be the best comparison to Solas I can imagine.

Jane (well spoken, soft, witty, good, kind) falls in love with a loner but rich landowner (Edward). There is something fishy about him tho, we are led to believe there's something dangerous/off about him, if he is housing a demon/animal, or is in fact a demon himself. They attempt to marry, but the ceremony is stopped. Its discovered "the demon" is his wife, a mentally unstable woman who Edward married to save. He literally calls her “My own demon.” He wants to protect this deranged woman (out of duty? misplaced duty?) but loves Jane deeply. Jane runs away, makes a life for herself, feel guilt, then goes back to him to find his house burned, the woman dead, and Edward blind. They kiss, you assume happy ending.

Edward thought to protect Jane by NOT FUCKING TALKING TO HER Bro like come on what are you even... like you should have fucking told her. Gods damn it Solas Edward just use your outdoor voice and talk to the pretty lady.

They do end up together, but only after Edward has gone through great physical and emotional strife, pretty much of his own doing, I think we can all agree.

And I'd be remis to not talk about Persuasion, because the scene is set so perfectly for Veilguard.

In Persuasion, the book starts up several years after protag Anne breaks off her Engagement with Love Interest (TM) Captain Frederick Wentworth.

Once AGAIN, through NOT FUCKING TALKING TO EACH OTHER, they think the other has moved on, and they try not to intrude on the others life. But (in the movie), Wentworth writes her a beautiful confession letter, which I will put here with some *minor* modifications:

Dearest Inquisitor Levellan, I can listen no longer in silence. Vhenan, you pierce my soul. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I am half agony, half hope. I know too much time has passed, and you have moved on, but I will never forgive myself if I do not tell you this. You alone have brought me to heel. For you alone, I think and plan. But of course, you have not seen this, how could you? Because your love has not lasted as long as mine. Vhenan, I have loved no one but you and I don’t think I ever will. I have thought many times about how to tell you this. But the pain of a love unrequited (except for Soals it’s the pain of perceived duty/guilt) rendered me silent.  Tell me not that I am too late. My love for you has never faltered. Yours, eternal, Solas Fen’Harel What is even your real name just tell me cuz its NOT FUCKING WISDOM YOU DUMB EGG

Solas is so ANCIENT, and GDL voices him SO WELL, with that welsh-tinge, its so hard NOT to put this love story in with the romance classics. Especially with the main theme being JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.

I am just hoping and praying and huffing that copium that we get a happy ending, and not a sad one.

Or even better, through our interactions with Solas' memories, that we get to choose.

remember recent posts about that scene?

it was mostly about a solavellan reunion

it suddenly hit me and unblocked a bonus fear: solavellan ending just like in the movie/book. like a bit melancholic yet happy ending in which love wins and future seems much brighter than before and... then you found out it isn't real, it's just a story told by someone else as a try to make things right for them and bring a happiness because they deserved it even if the reality was never kind to them.

Varric, a storyteller, if you will try to make this Atonement thing to me, I will find you and I will kill you.

Movie: "Atonement", 2007

Book: "Atonement", Ian McEwan, 2001

[pekasairroc]

Trying to describe my intense emotions for each of the In Stars and Time characters without spoilers.

Here we go:

I would die for Bonnie.

I am a loyal knight who will defend my lady to the last breath. I would go to war for Mirabelle.

It’s you!!! aka The Blorbo(TM) to an unwell degree. Siffrin was made in a lab to appeal to me. Holy. Shit. Extracted from my DNA.

For Isabeau, I would enter into a mutually kind and loving relationship and cherish each other until death.

I would remain in a terrible dead end job for Odile. Ride or die weird coworkers.

stupid sad smelly bastard man… cool motives…. still murder…. btw your playlist SLAPS

FIGHT and FLIGHT and FREEZE and FAWN!!!

2Hats spoilers:

Blorbo^2

you haunt me deep within my soul due to a character I once made whom I intentionally abdandoned

[liveandletrain]

Commenting on Fanfiction and Conflicting Concepts of Fandom

I've been trying to figure out how to word this for months, because it has been on my mind for awhile. I finally decided to just go ahead and give it a shot.

I think there is this concept of "comments as payment" that is leading to the idea of "comments as an obligation" that makes it actually, much harder to leave comments.

And I think its related to the sort of commercialization of fandom that we've been seeing happen.To explain, i'm going to use myself as an example, because I work better with examples and stories than with essays. (It's why I write more fanfiction than meta)

When I share a fanfiction, it is not because I am "making content" or even looking for an audience or anything like that. It's my way of contributing to the conversation.

Fandom is, at its core, all of us being Unwell about our favorite stories and characters and settings and little made up people. When you watch a show and have Thoughts about your blorbos, you might draw art to show it and explain it. You might scream to your friends. Or you might write fanfiction about it.

Fanfiction is my preferred medium of blorbo conversation because it allows me the space to really and truly show all the complicated interwoven fictional relationships that have given me Feelings TM. I am not writing fanfiction because I want to put it up on a pedestal for people to look at, I am writing fanfiction because its me participating in the ongoing conversations in the fandom community, or inviting others to enter into a new conversation about it.

When I hope for comments on my work, I'm not hoping for accolades or congratulations (though those are nice, I am only human after all) I'm hoping that someone read what I wrote and had things to say about it. And that they will say those things to me so that I can respond.

If you go back on my AO3 account five, six, ten years, you will find some comment sections that are literally unreadable because when you have enough entries in a thread the formatting means the comment box is exactly one character wide. Because the fics themselves were only a jumping off point, or a continuation of, a larger conversation. And it was definitely not the end of it.

[seeker-ophelia]

Its me, I'm girls.

girls when they remember that tevinter nights reveals that

1. solas can kill people in their sleep, large groups of people all at once, including dwarves, by giving them dreams so horrifying they bleed out of their ears and die

2. he has a massive network of spies and agents that do his bidding across all of thedas and speak about him with reverence like a true god. one blesses a fellow fallen elf by saying “the dread wolf guide your soul to peace, brother”

3. solas’s dread wolf form looks like a combination of a pride demon, a wolf, and a dragon, “lupine in appearance but the size of a high dragon, with shaggy spiked hide and six burning eyes like a pride demon” and he can fly around the fade on “wings of fire” that disperse into an army of demons/spirits

4. he shows up in this form to terrorize a group of mortalitasi who were binding spirits for a ritual, and says “YOU MEDDLE PAST YOUR UNDERSTANDING, FOOLISH MORTAL MAGES, AND IN DOING SO, YOU THREATEN ALL CREATION. YOU USE MY IDOL CARELESSLY TO VANDALIZE THE SEA OF DREAMS. NOW FEEL THE PAIN OF WHAT YOU HAVE CREATED. FROM THIS MOMENT, SHOULD YOU EVER BIND A SPIRIT, THEN YOUR LIFE IS MINE.”

[galaciearts]

i am Unwell(tm) about obito uchiha

bonus:

[peppermint-whiskers]

I am Unwell(tm)

Neal released a fucking MASTERPIECE and I'm living 😭😭😭😭