#I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT TREATED BAD AND BULLIED RIGHT? RIGHT??????????????????

[leesalchemybook]

sometimes I remember how some individuals in the bts fanart community bullied me pretty intensely back on my bts twitter days.

(its been at least a few years now. I forget how long it's been) sometimes I still consider posting my screeenshot proofs of it and exposing them. but that was so long ago now, it's probably pointless. if they didn't stop, I was prepared to. but a friend I had at the time confronted them (after I told her not to) but it seemed to have helped and they and they didn't bother me after that. but I never got answers for why they were doing it

but it still pisses me off that they were "popular" and had a few thousand followers and everyone loved them and many other artists kissed their asses and tried to be part of their little popular clique (probably to feed off their popularity)

but for some reason when I was being genuine and wanted to be real friends and work on a collab for fun and was nothing but nice to everyone, I got bullied so bad that even other people in the collab pointed it out at first. i was blamed for it all even though it was obvious i did nothing wrong and they were the wrong ones. I even have screenshots to prove it. (I am missing some stuff, though, which is one reason I didn't post. I could have made them look so much worse if I managed to get everything haha but i didn't realize what was happening soon enough)

I was so confused. i'm STILL confused. was there a reason for the sudden bullying? or are they just nasty people that like to pick on small artists and get away with it because no one cares about me or will ever believe me? either way, I hope their art dreams never come true and they hurt their drawing hand many times.

some of the bts fanartists had such nasty attitudes and interacting with them made me wonder why people loved them so much. some artists acted so snobby, arrogant, and unfriendly.

some would whine and complain about wanting attention/friends/interactions but ignore me, act annoyed, not reciprocate. or tell me they don't want to talk, but then go right back to complaining they want friends and people to talk to a minute later. most wouldn't follow back if you weren't a big popular account or tell me they have ridiculous requirements I had to meet or they'd unfollow. but would always be begging for more mutuals.

some would post they're open to helping be a second pair of eyes to review your art, but only gave me destructive criticism and told me to "practice more so you can be as good as me" but they always ended up only being artists for 3-5 years vs my 20+ so they have nothing on me. I have practiced art longer than they've been alive!!!! but they still think they're superior and male it a competitive instead of actually being helpful like they claimed they wanted to be. I never got any real advice and they thought they had an attitude of being too good and perfect for me. sometimes I even got unsolicited destructive advice on art I was proud of and liked.

one annoying thing was many would whine about only getting a few thousand likes on their art and ask for more, or require me to interact with all their posts in order to be mutuals (I literally had one tell me they will be mutuals but if i dont interact with all their tweets daily they will unfollow) BUT THEY NEVER INTERACTED WITH A SINGLE ONE OF MY TWEETS. I had to give them all the attention, but they didn't give anything back in return at all. people like that are so gross and nasty, but they somehow tricked everyone into thinking they were so perfect and sweet and friendly.

and all these people didn't even have art that was that great. like it was kind of average imo, compared to other stuff i see. they started as smaller accounts that didn't have impressive art so I wanted to support them as they grew and got better. small artist solidarity. supporting newer artists who have 10-15 years less experience than me. but they all acted like such elitist snobs towards me.

and no matter how many times I post about it, no one ever confesses to experiencing the same treatment in the bts fanartist community!!!!! (or online art communities in general. i've never had any solidarity) makes me feel so shitty because I seem to be the only one that was treated horribly by other artists and bullied and unable to make many art friends/mutuals compared to the snobby shitheads that bullied me who somehow tricked everyone into loving them!! and all the people who supported them "the correct way" so they didn't get bullied and got to be added to the snobby elitist cliques.

still waiting for the day someone comes to me with stories of their own so I don't feel so alone 😅

to end this here's a reminder: art isnt a competition. we should all support each other and encourage each other and see each other as equals. share each other's art. boost each other up. work together. be friends. give constructive criticism only when asked, never destructive. don't act better than others. don't beg for attention and then refuse to give in return. a reblog/retweet/etc is very valuable even if you don't know how to share words. be kind and have fun!

[akkivee]

mentally ill about stage mtr if i’m being quite honest lol:

*collapses to my knees* AYUKAWA TAIYOU I KNOW YOU CANT HEAR ME AND WOULDNT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ME IF YOU COULD BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW I WOULD D—

*crying* LIKE PLS THIS MANS DANCING BRINGS ME TO LITERAL TEARS

IF YOU LOOKED UP ON MEME DICTIONARIES UNDER ‘HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL YOU STARTED CRYING’ AYUKAWA TAIYOUS JAKURAI WOULD BE PICTURED

I QUITE LITERALLY DOWNLOADED BLENDER ON MY LAPTOP TO LEARN HOW TO 3D MODEL HE HAD ME DOWN SO BAD AFTER WATCHING HIM PERFORM BLAST WOLF FOR THE FIRST TIME

I CANT BELIEVE THE STAGE TOOK HIS JAKURAI AWAY FROM HIM AND FROM US HE HELD IT TOGETHER BUT MANS WAS PRACTICALLY CRYING AT THE FINAL BOP2023 PERFORMANCE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—

god like…………………………. this is some of the hardest loss i’ve been struggling to process i can’t imagine anyone else playing such a flawless 2.5D sensei other than ayukawa-san 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

he and hayami-san had the time of their lives making dad jokes in front of thousands lol during their cross talk and i’ll never forget the slight awe he had when hayami-san made a pun using his name lol

it was a sun = taiyou kinda joke iirc and i feel like he did use it further down the line 😭😭😭😭

UGH ugh uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh god the stage mtr scene i never stop thinking about was their rep live skit, the last one i think????? where dohifu got into hijinks trying to stop sensei from doing his job bc they were worried he’d consumed alcohol via treats hifumi brought

they wound up circling him and then lifting him off the ground in a very strange but hilarious sequence of events and jakurai laughingly told them it’d been a very long time since he’d been carried in any sort of fashion and he thanked them for bringing fun into his life EXCEPT!!!!!! ITS AN AD-LIB AND IM CERTAIN THAT WAS AYUKAWA-SAN TOUCHED BY HOW MUCH FUN HE WAS HAVING WITH THEM I HATE IT HERE

i can’t remember which day of bop2023 it was but in that mad scramble of wardrobe changes he accidentally had a button left undone on his tdd jakurai shirt and i know how that sounds that i noticed it but the way he smoothly buttoned it as he descended stairs is even more seared into my brain lmao

ayukawa-san is buff as hell lmao the ease at which he carried ramuda during king of kings was immaculate lmao and i’m not strong enough to pretend like i didn’t imagine a gym bros hitojaku au based on how swole they are lmao

he breached the 190cm mark in height and the way he reacts to others reacting to his height cracks me up lmao throwback to that one time he walked in to record bright and dark i think and one of the staff just blurted out, ‘you’re huge!!!!!’ and ayukawa-san responded, ‘i sure am!!!!! 😃’ LOL

in the interest of talking about the other actors i’m cutting myself off but i’m not joking when i say i hate here pls i always quote this but hayami-san was so right when he said the stage actors can’t just be easily replaced, they are the characters for a lot of people too 😭😭😭😭

hirofumi-san’s hifumi was peak host ngl lol

the bat and mtr actors got along insanely well after their play and the way hirono-san and ide-san bullied hirofumi-san only for it to just like, bounce off the man bc he was that self assured and a diva is so funny lmao but that’s exactly why his host hifumi was flawless lol

not that his hifumin wasn’t fun either!!!!!!! stage hifumin doesn’t get to be as silly as his canon counterpart so i can’t blame hirofumi-san for that lol

but his switch from hifumin to host is so insane like i don’t have words to describe how it rotted my brain tbh lmao

so like, i definitely mourned kodai-san’s doppo when he left the role but ik it was bc i liked how obvious he played doppo’s crush on jakurai LOL

ide takuya had me by the balls the moment i saw him tho but we’ll get back to that in a sec lol i still weep over the puppy dog eyes kodai-san always gave sensei lol

throwback to that time he asked sensei to pump his stomach (iirc) and was very disappointed when jakurai shot him down before he could finish the sentence LOL

vocally, i like his doppo a smidge 🤏 better like his screaming hits different than ide-san’s and i do find myself missing it sometimes listening to stage mtr’s older songs lol

but enough about him let’s talk about idedoppo LOL

i’m not kidding when i say i stanned from the the moment i saw him but i am uniquely weak to long haired punks you can’t put him in front of me and expect me to not accept him immediately LOL

he goes so crazy as dopopoppo too THAT FINAL BOP2023 WHERE HE RAN YARDS TO DEFEND HIFUMI????? HE HAD THE CROWD YELLING DURING HIS SOLO IN MTRS REP LIVE????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

him messing with hirofumi-san for not being able to do finger choreography and hirofumi-san tickled by being messed with 🥺🥺🥺

(hirofumi-san very much could do the finger choreography when it mattered btw lmao)

AND THE SONG HE MADE UNDER HIS OWN NAME DEDICATED TO DOHIFU?????????? AND HAD HIROFUMI-SAN GUEST STAR IN THE MV?????? PLS THEY LOVED MTR I HATE IT HERE

[tigerdrop]

I think we should talk more about breeding kinks here specifically with whatever men you're currently thinking about. I finished read your snippets on your website so that inspired this anonymous question.

god. i have a lot of insane things i could say about it. WRT daniel and jamie. i want to put it under a readmore b/c im embarrassed but i dont want to use one b/c they dont work right on my theme (SO IVE LEARNED) so heres captain sisko cardboard cutout

this is probably going to get weird but daniel is a weird guy. full disclosure

uh. god. i had a whole long thing typed out justifying it but all u really need to know is that daniel is one google search away from being a massive furry. if he had any idea how much anthro knotting porn is out there on the internet he would never leave his fucking room. he has it so bad dude

so like. this poor fucking guy wants to come in something so badly he cant see straight (who doesnt) and the only thing hes got is another dudes mouth on a blue moon. it would be a lot easier if he could just sniff out who wants to fuck on the air like a big stupid dog. a big mean doberman fursona with a spiky collar and a stupid hat. yknow. whatever

i think the idea of being a thrall to instinct and not having to navigate impenetrable social norms in order to have sex appeals to him. hes learned the hard way that he cant wrap his head around the intricate rituals. so its really great for his, uh. self-actualization. that he ends up with a buddy who likes to play along and makes it really, really obvious that he wants to use daniel like a dishrag

the ultimate torture, though: being a guy with a breeding kink dating a guy who gets off on edging you and stringing you out. imagine

daniel: i need to come in you so fucking bad. I need to knock you up jamie: Thats great buddy. If you come before i do im going to fucking kill you

tbh jamies standpoint on it is that he both never wants to have kids and is physically incapable of having them in the first place so daniels whole breeding kink is. like. a little oddity to him. something he feels a little conflicted about, given, you know, the gender . its a thinker

but really in the end its the ideal scenario b/c he gets to indulge daniel and play pretend with no consequences. its the same as if he was a cis dude indulging him. and tbh its worth it to see how fucking strung out it makes him. daniel sweating bullets at the idea of nutting in some big muscular hairy dude..........its neat. to him. and not to me. i dont care

its also neat to have jamie be a big ol bully about it too. all demanding and pushy. treating him like a bit of an animal about it...............whatever. insane animal style sexo while jamie doms the unholy hell out of him. sweet and sour both. Whatever

ultimately tho the goal is to nut in jamie and to do it over and over again and i think thats great for him. i think its even nicer if he accidentally comes too quick. all sweaty and desperate......poor guy.

(as an aside: jamie would never be for-real mean about his dick because - and not to be a huge fucking dyke here for a moment - your dick doesnt need to work like a pornstars b/c you dont even NEED one to have insane screaming bed-shaking sex. his fingers work just fine, right? get in there, buddy. finger your cum deeper into him. Jesus christ man)

alternatively. overstimulation. jamie using his iron thighs to keep daniel right where he is after he comes while jamie gets off. its like a punishment in its own right.....making daniel stay in place, all raw and sensitive and trembling......he would whimper. i think. cant do nothin but feel it. really really cute. stuff. i think

ok. sorry. this went a lot of places. goodbye forever

[justcallmesolll]

My silly little top tens

yeen rambles #10

stealing this idea from the wonderful @whitestorm4prez bc originality is dead!!!!!!!!!!

anyways ive only read the first arc but most of the major shit was spoiled for me on the internet.

#10 Thrushpelt. i love him!! he's such a nice guy. i feel really bad for him for his one-sided love of Bluestar. she missed out frfr. but even when Bluestar makes it super clear she doesnt like him, does he hold a grudge? no. does he resent her? no. what does he do? become her friend instead. amazing man.

#9 Darkstripe. i think he's both the most hilarious and fucking balling my eyes out sad villain ever at the same time. dude just got fucked over most of his life. i mean i find him sily because every time he tries something, it fails horribly. but at the same time, he's got fucking no-one. he's alone. no friends, nothing. the one guy he trusted with his life turns out to not even care about him at all. i mean seeing him scramble to revive what little there is left of tigerstars plan, seeing everyone leave him, him realising that nobody was truly on his side. his last moments preaching for a dead man who never cared for him. his life being over like that. he never did anything meaningful, and he died like that. im gonna write more abt this a some point but yea!!

#8 Tallstar. his character arc is one of the most heartwarming things ever. yes, he was a shitty leader, but do ya know what? he grew as a person. he changed and made himself better. i also think him and Jake r cute and i LOVE the headcannon that he thought fireheart was jake coming to save him and his clan.

#7 Bluestar. RIGHT OK. i know i say i hate her but by god how can i not like her at the same time???? i mean all her life was just horrible shit. and she stuck through it. i know she was a real bitch coming towards the end of her life, but she stayed, stone faced and understanding to most cats around her. tigerclaw was just the straw that broke the camel's back. but most of her life she was so awesome.

#6 Cloudtail. i think hes such a silly guy!!! he's a big hot-headed atheist!!! silly guy. him and brightheart are so cute together. and yea thats it literally hes just silly thats why i like him

#5 Longtail. I LOVE HIM SM OMGGG the fan service he gets is so good. but the most important thing is his character arc. from being a bully, but all round loyal cat, to desprately trying to prove his loyalty to firestar by any means possible. longtail thinks that firestar sees him as disloyal, but firestar proves him wrong, asking him to come on the journey with him the relationship between them is so nice to see.

#4 Greystripe. what a guy. hes amazing. he puts up with firheart way more than he should have to. i mean fire is a straight up dick to him alot of the time and he sticks with him like a loyal friend. i love him hehehe

#3 Ashfur. if u cant tell already, i like villains. i like Ashfur alot actually. cant help feeling bad for him. mans had a rough time. grew up without a mother, was practically ignored by his mentor, when he finally found someone who gave him a little attention who does undeniably treat him like her mate, she just turns around and goes "yeah no lol i was just w u to make brambleclaw jealous lmao." he was plunked right on his head and left alone with no-one to care about him. the only person who slightly cared about him was his sister, and she was too caught up in her own shit to help. its the sticky feeling you have knowing that if he were just cared for right, he could have turned out just fine. instead, he was neglected and left to become what he did.

#2 Hawkfrost. i love the fan service hawk gets honestly. im a huge fan of the artwork he gets. hes cool. i like the idea of him feeling the need to prove himself to his father. but yea hes just cool thats why i like him tbh.

#1 to absolutely no-ones surprise, my #1 fave warriors character, is SOL. hes so silly. but no fr, hes the funniest fucking villain ever. he sucks ass at being a fucking warrior and he comes accross the clans and is just like "yea yk what im gonna fuck with em." he literally gaslight gatekeep girlbosses all 4 of the clans and he actually gets away with it. i also just like his whole asthetic, and THE FUCKING FAN SERICE HE GETS???? HOLY SHIT ITS SO COOL. i swear you cant make Sol fanart look bad bc hes just so fuckin cool. silly little guy!!

[masterporky]

im gonna go on some sort of rant that may be deleted later. i guess it could be considered a vague post but ive cut off anyone who im "vagueing" or whatever. its kinda my explanation why i havent been here much recently. its not very cohesive or anything its kinda just my pissed off rambling. its really long or whatever.

ive been treated very poorly by people in the rpc. it was mostly in a discord server made by someone i had trusted. i trusted them because they were older and more experienced than me. and they seemed nice

i guess its my fault for being a kid on the internet in spaces primarily dominated by adults

but also. those same adults were kids on the internet just like me when they started out. so i dont understand how they cant show an ounce of sympathy or come up to bat for me when i very obviously need it

i dont care if you hate children, i dont care one bit. it was an all ages server. pro tip: if you dont want to be around children in online spaces dont be in all ages spaces!

even if it was only me and about 3(?) other minors out of like 10 active people. i dont care.

im mostly angry at myself for joining a server out of blind trust for someone i thought i was friends with. i know it wasnt very smart of me to join a server where i knew most of the people would be adults

but i still cant understand why they all began to fucking hate me. they acted like i was aggressive and unapproachable because that was the type of character i played. they vagueposted about me and acted like i was some sort of villain.

they made groupchats where it was me and 2-3 other people (usually mods) and practically ganged up on me whenever they didnt like the way i spoke or the way i played my character. and then one of those people who said they had been "bullied" by me joined back afterwards because yippee!!! i was gone!!! so now they could shittalk me some more.

"bullied" was me wanting them to properly communicate with me when they didnt like something i said or wrote. which when they did do that it was while in those groupchats. "bullied" was just them not liking the way i talked.

this person did so much other than just fucking that. they borderline fetishized black women & played what i can only fucking call a shittily concealed mammy stereotype. they roleplayed as a pedophile around child characters and REAL CHILDREN (me) which yes when they were askrd to stop fucking using their pedophile character they did. and they told me i frustrated them because they didnt understand me. there is a very high chance that i am neurodivergent. i dont care if you're neurodivergent too, thats borderline ableism. and their partner threatened to harass me once i left. what a great fucking thing to do.

oh and after i left, along with another person they put their "triggers" as "pokey minch" and "earthbound" which is just fucking spitting in the face of anyone with real fucking triggers. i did not traumatize you. grow the fuck up.

one of the weirdest things that happened was that someone who had joined had been making me uncomfortable beforehand (i have since forgiven said person) and no one else knew them. so they completely ignored when i was uncomfortable. but then. they had their character say "kill yourself" to one of the mod's characters and suddenly they got immidiately banned after. hm.

dont get me started on the mods. the mods who i thought were my friends, but excused everyone elses far worse behavior while condemning what i had done. which was seemingly nothing. and the owner of the server did absolutely nothing but let them do this.

i think the worst thing i did was, in a panic when i started feeling like a horrible person, send an apology to the owner a week later i dont feel bad anymore. i dont feel bad because i know that i didnt deserve whatever the fuck they were doing to me in there. i feel bad that i basically lied about being sorry. i guess it wasnt lying because i did feel very sorry and guilty at the time but it wasnt right to send what was basically a false apology to them and i wish i didnt because its embarassing and also wrong.

and the worst thing my friend who i invited did who they also hated (he's also like. a minor) did was send a very mean message to one of the people who had gotten mad at me for a seemingly very small reason and sent mods after me for it. which. i appreciate him being the only one fighting on my behalf. but i dunno.

that person was one of the people who made pokey minch their trigger. and had also made some insane fucking comment once about being "neutral on gay and trans people. some are nice" thats called being a bigot you fucking walnut. you cant be neutral on that sort of thing. and they criticized their coworker for being "racist" when their coworker just said that they hated white people and then got fired for it

the person i had the most problems with had spread what seemed to be false rumors about someone else in the rpc as soon as they entered so im not very certain im going to be safe from any sort of thing like that.

these people were 21-32. i am 14.

and not to sound like im giving you my sob story but its just that. do they just not remember being a kid? do they not realize how genuinely worse being in school has gotten? late generation z kids, especially in a school thats like mine where theres no minorities and everyone hates anyone whos different is actually hell. the people who hate me for being edgy or coming off as mean would fucking drop dead if they stepped foot in my godforsaken fucking school. on top of being bullied relentlessly in school, i now have to fear that i'll be basically bullied in the spaces that i thought that id be safe in. and by none other than people who should know better and thay i thought would have known better because they're well past highschool.

im tired of being treated like im an easy target for harassment everywhere i go. i almost quit roleplaying on tumblr altogether after that because it was such a stressful experience as well as the entire server being made up by mostly people i was mutuals with and have since blocked

ok um i guess my point is just that well. if youre going to have your blog or your discord server be an all ages space maybe dont try and chase out children immidiately because you dont like them because theyre children. you were an edgy teenager who acted stupid too so you should try to have an ounce of compassion for edgy teenagers who act stupid.

oh and also if you cant separate fiction from reality then block me. straight up.

also like. idk if any of you are worried youre following any of these people. i aint gonna like list them down since this isnt supposed to be a callout post but if you like really wanna know for some reason you can like dm me. like as long as u dont harass anyone or anything idgaf

anyways heres some shitty memes i made off it cause like you gotta do something to like not entirely die after some bullshit like that

[whatayrablogs]

It has been a week since Parker followed Polly in crossing the bridge. It has been a month that Parker was deteriorating right before my eyes due to kidney failure, a disease that is inevitable to dogs his age. So last Wednesday, I made a difficult decision with the professional advice from their very thoughtful and kind vet to give him the final act of kindness of putting him to sleep. It was a peaceful Wednesday. Each of us in the family were able to say our goodbyes before he completely closed his eyes. We told him he was the goodest boy in the world. That we would be okay. That it was okay to let go since he was in pain for more than weeks now. That night before, I hugged him tightly while he was having fits of seizures and whispered that it was okay to go because a few weeks prior to that, I kept telling him to fight and not leave me yet because losing Polly was too painful and I could not afford to lose him too. But seeing him fight amidst being in so much pain was a lot more intolerable, so I hugged him for I don’t know how long that night and told him it was okay to go.

I often teased him that he was Polly’s dog. That I initially got him because Polly needed a playmate. True enough, when Polly left, he followed suit. They were too close and were each other’s best friend that they went the same order they came into my life.

Parker was the poster dog of many hollywood dog films. He was good looking but he was a troublemaker, always up to no good. Naughty. A huge bouncing ball of trouble and sunshine combined. He was big and not the sharpest tool in the shed. But what he lacked in intellect, he compensated with his huge huge heart. So huge, we even took a moment to joke that his heart was so huge, it took some time for his heart to stop beating in his final moments. Unlike his sister Polly, he never learned a lot of tricks. He only sits when you bribe him with food and his sit can only last up to 5 seconds, else he’ll get impatient and maybe grab the food from your hands. His greatest talent though, is how he managed to open any type of doors. He can force himself in any type of doors, and that included the doors to our heart. I guess the last fondest memories I had with him was even if he was already having a difficult time walking he would look at me for help to climb up the stairs near one of our doors so he can still forcibly check if he can still open it. Now it warms my heart with the thought that he might have forcibly opened his way in the gates of heaven. That would be so typical of him.

But Parker didn’t need much. He didn’t need toys, or too much walks or tasty treats. What he loved the most was sitting on your lap and pretend he was a lap dog, not really aware how huge and heavy he was. He was the most malambing of the pack, aggressively asking for pets and love and won’t take no for an answer. He lets the other dogs bully him into submission even if he’s the largest in playfights.He’d prefer to chill all day and just stare at you with twinkling eyes, letting you know you’re his world.

It has been a very rough month for me. The morning right after, I bought a Jollibee meal and for the first time in x years, I broke down horribly because it’s the first time I ate my meal in peace. No one asking for a piece of my chicken, and no drool on my legs. This past month, some days were good, some days were better, and some days were bad. Mundane things make me cry, like a neglected dog bowl in the terrace, or a fur still stuck to my shoes. Parting ways with your pets is such a bittersweet experience. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have made peace that we were able to say goodbye, that he’s no longer in pain, and he’s probably playing with Polly wherever they are.

I’ve been trying to compose this for a week as well and it seems I cant finish it because finishing it gives it finality when all I feel like this is all a temporary thing… that they’re just on a short trip to the vet or a board house for some time because I’m traveling. But having a good support system helps a lot cope and adjust. I still don’t regret anything. But I do miss both of them a lot.

I know they’re still around. Because where else would they go? They were such privileged and sheltered dogs, I don’t think they would go that far. My boyfriend bought me dedicated wind chimes the other day and told me when it sings, it’s just them hanging around. I would like to think of it that way. That they’re just within my reach, in the wind, in my memories, and in the energy they gave and left this family. I’m very grateful even if they took my heart with them. I believe they will come back. Someday, somehow.

[amakumos]

im in such a big dilemma omg

like u dont have to read this but like i just need to bitch tbh </3 😰

okay so like this bitch from my old school used to bully me in y7 for liking kpop right even tho we became bsfs in y8 (but we also broke off our friendship ig? i mean she like randomly ignored me one day and COMPLETELY shut me out)

and as we got to y9 she started to like get obsessed with being popular (because ngl shes acc so pretty but her personality makes her such a horrible person) and she would like yeah not treat me well

ANYWAY the point is now that ive moved and i noticed on her like insta updates n all she likes kpop now?? and people applaud for and encourage her for that

and like obv i cant yk control other peoples behvaiour

but like she bullied me so bad for liking kpop? like she got me OUT of it for years i only got back into kpop like last year + she gave me insecurities xoxo

but yeah idk i just think its so unfair that just cause shes pretty and popular she gets a pass on liking kpop when 11 year old me took all the hits from her

never been this emo on the blr omg

vball anon </3

hello wtf??? i will beat her up … but yeah i understand why you’d feel upset about it especially because she used to hate on u for it …she sounds like a pretty terrible person i hope ure okay ☹️

[rippeds0cks]

5/27/2023

Im falling apart at the seams physically. My body cant keep up with all the pressure, stress, and work im putting it through. Its to the point where im taking ludicrous amounts of meds to keep it together. My body hurts so fucking bad from my muscles to my tendons to my bones im in pain all day. If i lose focus on whatever motor function im doing (using stairs, walking, running, fighting) i just collapse. Ive been dropping things cause the nerve damage in my hands is progressively getting worse. I deserve it though not only for being a piece of shit and failing those around me but just for my existence. My pops always told me growing up that ��guys like us arent supposed to do well or live long” and i guess he was right cause im barely keeping myself in one piece. It’s ok tho cause im living for absolutely nothing right now. If i drop dead a couple people here n there will be sad but theyll soon forget and move on. I dont contribute anything to anyones life so its not like anything crumbles in my absence. Anyways every little detail ive ever known of my ex flooded back into my mind today in the gym and it left me fighting back tears and choking up while working out. Everything from how her old fursona back when she was a furry was a dutch angel dragon, how beautiful she looked everytime i saw her and her face lit up, the one time we were standing in the park at night and she kissed me and said “feels familiar”, how she always wanted to play apex or valorant, and most importantly as for now, how she used to make music. For shits and giggles i decided to go see if her music page was still up and it was. I decided to listen for old times sake and it reminded me of how i never told her how good i thought she was. I went straight to criticism and telling her how to improve it. Idk why im like that. Maybe cause its the way my parents were to me anytime i did anything i dont know. Its no excuse though. Dont get me wrong she still did rookie things like fill syllables with unnecessary curse words or make her vocals too low in the mixing process but its genuinely good music and ive been listening all day. Listening to the lyrics has made me realize how much i failed her. She placed a lot of emphasis and faith on me to help her or value her and i failed. And while my therapist would say something along the lines of “its not your responsibility to carry the burden of her happiness” i dont believe that to be the case at all. I think its something she placed in my hands trusting me and i failed. And that doesnt negate the insane way things ended between us. Her mother is still batshit fucking insane for the next level mental manipulation she did to my ex to make her mental state even more volatile than before. Idk. Maybe its my fault for leaving in the first place. Ive failed her every other way i cant not think i failed her by leaving and making those the only people she spent time around. Back when we first got together shes agree when her mother would say insane shit or treat her bad or her sister would bully her but by the end of it she flat out didnt think those things were happening. I just hope she got therapy like i begged her to so many times. Her ex best friend is a piece of shit though. Texting your best friends ex of almost 5 years the week after they have a nuclear break up confessing your unhealthy obsession from almost 6 years ago is disgusting. I was nice and all in my response because i thought my ex and her were doing it together as like a test of my character but i later found out it was just her disgusting ex best friend. And her reasoning as to why my ex shouldnt have gotten mad was “ive known you longer” no you dumb bitch youve known OF me longer. I didnt speak to you for 5 years you let this middle school crush go to your fucking head. I shared everything, heart and soul, with my ex for four almost 5 years and your disgusting selfish ass thinks you know me better cause we were locker mates in the 8th grade? Truly disgusting insane gross behavior. Anyways heres my exes music

[buffalowingsfortwo]

6/22/22 9:48 pm

ash to faith

im a drink or two in and about to eat a quesadilla. things are calm for the moment.

since i last wrote, a lot has happened, as i'd hope you would expect by now. the biggest thing has been that i got a job at petsmart, in their pets hotel, and experienced one of the most dramatic trainwrecks of my life. to keep things short, dont ever trust petsmart with one of your pets on any level, and maybe stick to petco or local pet supply stores when possible. i quit about 2 weeks in, while i was still in training, and in the middle of my shift. maybe i should feel bad, especially since they were so understaffed, but i cant. the things they do there are insane.

things in the love life are a little rocky. i wouldnt update you on this if you hadnt seen the worst of it already, but, you know (better than anyone). shit happens. maybe next time we talk youll hear more. for now, things are comfortable, and im fine, but its not what it ever was before. 

im not friends with tyler anymore, and neither is anyone else. its a really long story, and again, youll probably hear more in the future. if youre still in touch with her though, i would recommend texting me to get some of the details. basically shit hit the fan and now shes less of a friend and more of a warning and lesson. 

probably my least favorite part of this update is the dog situation. pokey was perfect, and then nothing was. long story short, he started getting these violent episodes that he would only take out on the other dogs. it got to a point where it wasnt safe to keep him around. we tried every rescue we could find in southern california and everyone couldnt take him because they were full, or they didnt do bully breeds, or they only did purebreds, or whatever other stupid reason. we gave him to a shelter in northridge that was supposed to be very nice and wouldnt turn him away or put him down or treat him poorly. he was adopted within a couple days, and we're still getting updates from the family on how hes doing. hes happy. and i know it was the right thing to do. but i do miss him every day. i might need a break from puppies for a bit, though. it is what it is.

the alcohols setting in and im starting to want to say a lot of things i probably shouldnt. thats my sign to stop. youll hear more when i remember what else has been going on. for now, i have a quesadilla to get to. i hope youre doing well.

"get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now, thats what you get for waking up in vegas" - waking up in vegas by katy perry

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

[ilydenji]

Please do a pt 2 of toxic traits that had kenma, kageyama, and Tsukishima. Please make it fluff in the end🥺. I loved it

❝toxic pt. 2❞

↳haikyuu boys toxic traits part two

characters: kenma kozume, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei

warnings/tw: toxic relationships

a/n: I'm so glad you loved the first one !! I hope this is good enough afndjsmsj

(this kinda long sorry lmfoaodjrnf)

part one here

kenma ;

-its been a few weeks since the two of you had talked properly.

-you did what he wanted, you had broken up with him.

-it felt weird going back to your regular life as if nothing had happened. as if you didn't spend half a year with him.

-it did hurt when you realized he didn't even care. that day when you walked away from him, you doubted that he gave it a second thought.

-but, unknowingly, the whole situation was slowly eating kenma up with guilt.

-after your breakup, he briefly had talked about it with kuroo and that’s when he realized how much of an asshole he really was.

-he missed it when you watched him practice, apparently, the other members of his team did too.

-“where’s y/n? are they okay?” lev would ask the most.

-“they broke up idiot- if you’re wondering how they are ask them yourself” of course, yaku would hit him for even mentioning them.

-up until now, kenma never noticed the little things that you did for him. how you would praise his hard work after practice or a game.

-how you would softly comb your fingers through his hair while playing games. or how you would bring him lunch every day in case he forgot to eat.

-not only that, but he started missing the little things about you as well.

-how your nose would scrunch up when you laughed,

-when you would hold his hand, you’d always rub circles on his thumb.

-how you would hum when playing with his hair.

-all those things, why hasn’t he realized them before? why did he let you go?

-why did he hurt you so bad?

-he wanted to— no, he needed to apologize to you.

-he wanted to be with you again, though he didn’t really think he deserved you anymore.

-he wanted to try anyway.

-you received a text from him in the afternoon. you were hesitant to answer. what could he be asking for? his hoodie that he left a month ago?

-when you finally decided to answer it, it read-

-“Can I please talk to you.”

-he wanted to talk now? he had a chance weeks ago. months even.

-you just sighed and texted back saying yes. he asked if he could come over and you agreed, maybe things would end off on a better note? you’d be lying if you said you didn't miss him.

-when kenma came over, he looked different than how he usually did. he didn't have his psp and he didn't use his phone once.

-he slowly walked to your bed and motioned you to sit next to him.

-“I’ve been a big fucking asshole to you, y/n. I'm so sorry I treated you like that.” he would start.

-he ended up apologizing for everything and told you he never realized how much care relationships need.

-“you deserve so much better. it’s selfish of me to even consider the fact you’d take me back but. I missed you a lot, I'm so sorry for hurting you.”

-you wanted to be with him again, to hold him and tell him it’s alright.

-instead, you rest your hand on his shoulder with a squeeze.

-“it's okay, it’s fine. I messed up along the way as well.” you’d start. kenma kept the same stoic expression he usually had. but you can tell in his eyes, he was hopeful.

-“but maybe we don’t belong in a relationship. maybe not yet at least.”

-kenma understood what you meant.

-in the end, the two of you had agreed that to ever get back into a relationship again he had to work on letting himself be vulnerable around you.

-he had promised to be better for you, and wait until you were ready to be with him again. although you had promised to be with him sometime in the future, the pang in his chest didn't fully go away.

-the day ended with him in your arms, comforting him.

-his arms were wrapped around you, his head in the crook of your neck.

-“kenma, I still love you. you know that right?”

-kenma didn't exactly answer. instead, he pulled you closer to him. you could feel his smile against your neck.

-you both still loved each other but decided to take it slow this time. not wanting to hurt each other.

kageyama ;

(reader is into photography bc that's the only thing I could think of I'm sorry lfmsoakedjdnsn)

-it’s been a few days since his last game, where he basically told you that you “clearly didn’t love him”

-in those few days, kageyama couldn’t explain what he was feeling.

-he always had trouble expressing his emotions. so he often ignored them.

-but this time, there was a pit in his stomach that just wouldn’t go away. whenever he looked at his phone he would be tempted to call you.

-he wasn’t so sure if that was a good idea, but the silence was killing him.

-one day during practice he had asked hinata if he had seen you.

-hinata nodded and told him you were out in the courtyard doing club activities.

-kageyama didn't know you were in a club? though, he hardly payed any attention to that stuff.

-he wondered how he could be so clueless, you two have been together for months.

-that day, he skipped practice. that on its own was a whole different story.

-he managed to find you outside, taking pictures of the flowers and anything remotely interesting you could find.

-but no matter how mundane, kageyama didn't fail to notice the smile you had.

-he recognized that look in your eye, that was the look he had whenever it came to volleyball. how could he have not realized how happy your little hobby made you?

-he wanted you to be happy, to see you smile with so much passion like that.

-kageyama approached you cautiously, trying not to scare you.

-“what do you want kageyama?” you started. it startled him a little.

-you didn't need to turn around for you to know he was there. hinata had texted you that kageyama was coming, of course.

-“Nothing... I just.. missed you I guess” he sat down next to you. neither of you had talked, it became awkward fast.

-“so... you like photography? I didn’t know”

-“of course you wouldn't.”

-kageyama cringed at the words. you weren’t wrong in the slightest, he had been ignoring your interests for the longest and he feels like such an ass for it.

-“I'm sorry for not paying attention” he stated. you nodded at his words. but that wasn’t enough for him.

-“I should’ve payed more attention to you, it’s my fault I got so caught up in my own head” still, you didn’t say anything but you did turn your attention to him. progress he thought.

-“I should’ve realized that this, is just as important to you as volleyball is to me.” he rested his hand on top of yours. in return, you squeezed his a little. he smiled softly.

-“I’ll give you more of my attention from now on. okay? I'm sorry y/n. I love you, I really do.” he finished. and that’s what you wanted to hear.

-you wanted him to acknowledge his wrongs and apologize. you knew kageyama struggled with his emotions sometimes but he would eventually come around.

-you rested your head on his shoulder.

-“did you really skip practice for me?”

-“of course I did”

-by the end of the day, kageyama had learned that relationships aren’t just a one-sided thing. that you cant constantly be supporting him without him supporting you.

-he promised to you that no matter what it is that you would do, he would be right by your side cheering you on.

tsukishima ;

-the days had turned to weeks, and tsukishima was barely paying any attention to you. after your little fight, it was clear that he wouldn’t say a word until you said something first.

-but you were scared to.

-how could you not be? his teasing crushed your self-esteem.

-you would notice things about yourself that you never saw before. picking at your skin for the tiniest imperfections.

-or even trying to change your appearance in any way you could to seem different, but in the end, tsukishima didn't pay attention.

-but someone else did, yamaguchi. he was close to tsukishima and knew what was going on.

-he was the first one to comfort you after your fight with your boyfriend. he promised to you that the things he said weren’t true and he never meant it.

-yamaguchi was slowly replacing tsukishima as the days went by. still, the two of you remained friends.

-“I think you should talk to him, y/n. he misses you I know it” he told you one day. he was on his way to practice and asked you to come with.

-you didn't know if that was really true but you decided to put your trust into him.

-instead of going into the gym yourself, you waited for practice to end nearby. you didn't want to be a distraction.

-when practice did end, tsukishima and yamaguchi ended up being the first ones to come out. yamaguchi was smiling as he yelled out for you. tsukishima stayed silent.

-walking towards the two made your anxiety rise. it was nerve-wracking honestly.

-the three of you ended up walking to the gate before yamaguchi told you that he had somewhere to go first and he’d meet you two later.

-after that, it was just the two of you. you noticed how although his house was in the opposite direction, he still walked with you. you smiled a little at that.

-“So what’s up with you and yamaguchi?” he said bluntly. the abrupt interaction kinda scared you a little.

-“Nothing, we’re just friends. why?”

-“nothing. I just don't like seeing you all friendly with him.”

-“Are you jealous?”

-“I guess so”

-his words were so blunt it left you confused.

-you asked him how he could say something like that when he’s been ignoring you for days. and not only that but just straight-up bully you.

-tsukishima stayed silent at that. he had stopped walking at this point, and so had you.

-“listen. I'm sorry for saying those things to you, I was just stressed and took that out on you. I never meant to hurt you y/n, I mean it” you knew tsukishima wasn't the type to talk so openly about how he felt.

-he probably meant it.

-it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurt you. you told him what his words had done to you, that you had tried to change yourself for his approval.

-at this, tsukishima brought you into a hug. he held you close to him, softly petting your hair.

-“I'm sorry y/n, I’m sorry for taking it too far, for making you think so low of yourself. I promise you I never thought those things about you, I was just mad. I should’ve never taken it out on you.”

-at this point, you didn't know if you should be happy about it or cry.

-“it hurt tsukki.” was all you said to him.

-“I know. I'm so sorry y/n, I understand if you cant forgive me.” he pulled away from you to move your hair away from your face, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.

-“I understand that I’ve hurt you. you don't need to forgive me. but please know that I love you so much.”

-afterward, tsukki ended up walking you home, holding your hand the rest of the way.

-he knows things might not go back to being the same, but he’s willing to work on letting you past his walls, being nicer towards those he loves, you especially.

-you know old habits die hard and that relationships aren’t always easy. but this was a journey you both were willing to take. both learning from each other to make sure this never happens again.

——-

I'm really hoping this is okay uh- I tried to make this as wholesome as I could but continuing the theme from last time. I might have to just make fluff has for these three after HANDFJDNN (i’m also very sorry for my terrible english @(*$@*(24)

[babbling-idiot2]

Raoul Silva x reader

Requested: “Hello!! May I please request a Raoul Silva x female reader? Where the reader works with Bond, but for a time is kidnapped by Silva and then when she escapes and works with Bond again she is conflicted because she has feelings for Silva and then there is a showdown between her and Silva but she doesn’t shoot him when she has the chance?? And then they end up kissing. (Bond is not around) If that is waaaaaay too specific, I completely understand. I’m also a writer and really like this idea, I just don’t have any motivation right now. But If that’s too specific, then just something Silva x reader please?? If not, that’s cool! Thanks and have a blessed week!” -By Anon

Warning:

(Hello! Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy this. It’s actually kind of funny I had a fic for him in the drafts but never got around to posting it. But this was a better idea then mine so, I hope you enjoy!!)

*****

It wasn't suppose to be hard. Nor was it ever hard to do your job. Sure a few bruises and cuts here and there but it was your job and you enjoyed it. You have feared for your life before but at this point in time you weren't that scared anymore. Especially when it involved getting kidnapped. Now you had gotten kidnapped before. But it was also so easy and almost boring. Like they didn't try anymore. Well that was until you got kidnapped by a man named Raoul Silva. You knew him from a brief glimpse of a case file yet you didn't know enough to be interested. Only in the fact he is a ex MI6 agent. That's the only thing that caught you attention. 

In training you are taught many things. One being to never get involved with the target. Ever. If you did you would also be terminated. So, you never ever were involved with anyone. Even outside of your job. But luck would have it, as you've found yourself in quite a pickle. Did you get kidnapped? Yes. Was it on purpose? Well of course not. Did you know who kidnapped you? No! But it was quite the shocker to find out the ex MI6 agent, Raoul Silva had been the one behind it. When you were finally sat down. You sat in an empty room. Filled with high tech computer equipment and the sound of people moving around behind you. Mostly out of boredom and the fact that they themselves are bored with this charade. Then as you were also getting bored, you hear an elevator. You looked forward and could clearly see an elevator opening at the end of the room. Silva steps out and begins walking over to you. "Miss Williams. It is truly a pleasure to finally meet you. I must say that I have read much about you." He’s close enough now that your finally able to see him up close. You shouldn’t be thinking this about your kidnapper but he was very much more attractive then his picture "Good things I hope." "Oh nothing less of good I can assure you. Though I am disappointed they left out so much." You continue to look at him, trying to figure out where he was going with this, already having a good idea "Well that's the point isn't it? To keep as much personal information out of the files?" He tilts his head and nods slightly "Yes. I suppose that's correct but I must admit, I would like to know more about you before I get to the real reason why I brought you here. If you don't mind?"  You raise and eyebrow curiously as you continue to follow him with your eyes. You didn't answer and he seemed to just take that as a yes. He was walking around the area, not once making his way towards a chair. He kept walking, pacing in the same line as he questioned you on your past. "From what I know, you were a top student in school. A plusses and never once a B. You were dedicated to learning everything. You even graduated 2 years earlier than your classmates. Did you enjoy it? High-school, I mean." You shrugged your shoulders "Its hard to remember everything, since it was a little while ago. I do remember enjoying it though. Many good memories." He hums out in either approval or refusal. Which turns out to be refusal. "I do not believe that. You see your file here says, 'School for miss Williams was, in her words: Troubling, I was bullied a lot and had no friends. My studies were the only thing I focused on. I was the laughing stock of my high school career." You didn't say a word, you had no idea that he was really seeing your file right in front of him. "Now Miss Williams, you were bullied, treated horribly and now you are an MI6 agent. Says you've never had any infatuation for anyone in your life. Is that true?" You close your eyes and shake your head "No. I've never been in a relationship nor do I ever want one." He chuckles and looks at you, straight in the eyes "Miss Williams you do know I have your file here and every word you've said is a lie. I do not think that is a good idea. Tell the truth." He says now looking at the file again. This time you roll your eyes and adjust yourself in the seat "I was in one relationship in college. We only dated a week." "Why?" "Because he was a creep. And an asshole." "See now that is what a want to hear. The truth!" You roll your eyes again and become even more annoyed. 

You had no idea how long it had been but what was for sure was that it was long enough. You could hear the sounds of gun fire coming from outside of the building you were in. You thought for a moment that you were hearing things but when you heard the door being slammed open and the sound of an MI6 agent calling your name, relief washed over you. You were soon taken onto one the helicopters and was taken back to HQ. There you were met by a medical team and M. She was glad to see you walking and not in a body bag. She nodded your way before telling the medical team to take care of your. Also ordering you to go with them, knowing how much you hated any kind of medical attention. But you agreed and went along anyway.

Not even a day later you were reunited back with bond and even he was happy to see you again. But sadly even though reuniting gave you a slight feeling of happiness, you were conflicted. For a time you didn’t know what by. Was it work? Did you receive bad news? Did you say something and regret it? You had no idea, until it hit you one day like a truck. You thought back to when you got kidnapped by Raoul Silva. You couldn’t get him out of your mind. It was like he was an infection in your brain and you couldn’t get rid of it. Bond could tell something was wrong with you. Just by looking at you for an extended period of time, he could tell. But he had no idea what it was or better yet, who it was. 

You were ordered to go after him. Simple task, easy enough right? Well not exactly. You were hot on his trail, right behind him and yet he was just that much faster then you. Suddenly out of know where he turned this corner and right before this very large door could close you just made it through when it closed with a loud thud. Silva was at a dead end and had no where to go besides the way you came. When he turned around you already had a gun pointed in his direction. Completely prepared to shoot him if he made one wrong move. He knew that you would so, he would have to choose his next words and moves very carefully. “Miss Williams, I am very amazed at how you caught up so quick. I was not prepared for this encounter today.” “Yes well, you’ve screwed up your chances at getting out. I suggest you make yourself comfortable.” You say gesturing to the ground. He knew you wanted him to sit down on the ground but he couldn’t let that happen. “Miss Williams, Or better yet, Y/n? We both know that you won’t shoot me.” He says stepping closer. Though the fact that he knew your name was quite jarring, it didn’t impair your judgement. It was a sign that he was trying to get close. And you most definitely couldn’t let that happen. You pulled the hammer of your gun back and stepped a bit closer, keeping eye contact as to try to intimidate him. “You really think I’m afraid of what M will do if I shoot someone like you? I could care less. You’re actually lucky your up and walking now.” You never once let your confident and intimidating persona drop, not around him and at a time like this, it would be game over for you. But Silva was smart and he could see through your demeanor. “You are smart Miss Y/n. And you hide your private life so well. So hidden like a hermit in the sand. Yet I see right through the cracks. You have feelings for me.” You clench your jaw and shake your head “In your dreams Silva. I could never like someone like you.” “In my dreams? No, no, no y/n. In your dreams. You’ve thought about me since the day you got kidnapped by my men. Ever since you saw me and now, you cant get me out of your head. You can’t hide your feelings for me y/n.” He says now even more closer then he was before. You couldn’t back up anymore, for the door was closed and there was no escape from this. Your finger tightened and he saw this. He reached his hand out. Hoping that you wouldn't pull the trigger. Your brain told you to pull the trigger and end all of this now. But the more irrational part of you held you back. When he got close enough he wrapped his fingers steadily around the barrel of the pistol. He directed it out of the line of his face and slowly stepped into your personal space. He smiled at you and tilted his head at you. “There we are. I knew you couldn’t shoot me.” “It’s the worse decision I’ve ever made. I’m just as good as dead as your are now.” he starts to shake his head at you “No! No, no, no, no my dear! No one will know about this. Not even Bond. You just have to keep this a secret. You’re good at that, right?” You clench your jaw at hearing that. Keeping a secret from the MI6 was like trying to keep candy from a toddler. But nevertheless you nod your head and look to the side. You weren’t looking away for long until you felt a hand on your chin pulling you back. You looked back at Silva and saw a look in his eyes. You weren't sure what it was but what he did next gave you a good idea. He leaned forward and kissed you. It wasn’t for long but it definitely took the breath out of you. When he pulled away, on instinct you chased him slightly. When you realized what you did you looked away embarrassingly. Hoping he didn’t notice. He did, and smiled from ear to ear. Kissing your forehead and the side of your face. He leaned down where his mouth was near your ear before whispering “You should never feel embarrassed around me dear. I want to see you for you, not what they made of you.” You swallowed your embarrassment and looked up at him before leaning in slowly to kiss him back. It was quick, nervous and very sloppy. You were sure you kissed the side of his mouth. He smiled nonetheless and looked down at his wrist. Sighing out in annoyance he looks back to you. “I’m very sorry my dear, but I must end this meeting. I am suppose to meet my men in 5 minutes or our plan is ruined. Till next time my dear.” As he was walking away you stared confusingly at him. “Wait so this was part of the plan wasn’t it?” He turned back as he was about to pull a hatch open that was in the ground. He smiled at you cheekily. “My dear, I have a plan for everything.” He says as he closes the hatch behind him. You stared wide eyed at the hatch before you. 

“Well then, where did he go Williams?” You sighed out in annoyance “Like I told you before. I went down the hatch as I saw him do, when I got to the bottom he wasn’t there. He was gone. I ran to the end and searched. He was gone.” M stared at you, disappointment lacing her features as she looked at you. You could practically feel it by now. She shook her head and waved you off not bothering to say another word to you. You rolled your eyes and walked out. Fully intending to just go home. 

When you got there you hung your coat up and slipped your shoes off at the door, barley noticing the other pair of shoes right there next to yours. You looked up and sure enough you could see the back of someone's head sitting on your couch. You didn’t have your gun, and hand to hand combat was the only thing you had up your sleeves at the moment. When you came around the couch all thoughts of intruder and fighting left your mind. Silva was sitting there flipping through one of your magazines you had sitting on your table. “You know, you should invest in better security and better reading material.” He says still eyeing the magazine. “And you know I have a full bookcase right there? Also I like to be notified when I have company before they come over. I hate surprises.” He smiles and lays the magazine down, looking up to you with the same smile on his face. “But you like me, so it’s a welcomed one.” You shake your head smiling before walking over to the kitchen. You looked back and he was still seated there, looking out into space of your living room. You had no idea how you were going to deal with him. You had no idea how long this would go on for, but only time could tell now.

*****

(Hello so, I hope you liked this! If you did, any kind of feedback is amazing and highly appreciated! I hope you enjoyed and I hope you have an amazing day/night and stay safe out there in the world!)

[iwhishtomeetinournextlife]

An anonymous love (Part 1)

Summary : Y/N sees Sirius Black running away after a particulary rough letter from his mother. She wants to cheer him up and decide to send him a letter, anymously, she knows how much he hates her house.

Warnings : Slytherin!Reader, female!reader, reader is worried about Sirius, not proof read

Word count : 1.8k

English is not my first language, sorry if there is any mistakes

You're here - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

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Y/N loved receiving letters but even more sending them, she loved including all sorts of little gifts in hers; flowers, drawings, photographs, candies sometimes, she loved it even more now she was a witch,  she started doing experiments with her magic. She learned how to make the drawings moves, charms the flowers so they would reopen as fresh as new, she even found a way for the letter to be read out loud if desire, in a way were it doesn’t fold and destroy itself the ways howlers do, so it could be listen to over and over again, her family especially loved that one.

She wanted to see now if could even include kisses, or even hugs, the feeling of arm wrapping around you to squeeze you tight was one of the best feeling to her and she wanted to be able to send it to anyone, so they could feel it whenever they wanted.

She was able to put the hugs and the kisses on little cards who had to be unfold, it took many mistake, accidents and retry but she was able to do it after some times. It wasn’t as reusable has she had hoped, only three uses who doesn’t last more than five seconds, but she was confident enough to know she will do better in the future.

She had send her last version to her parents a few days ago, one she was the proudest of, and was now waiting for their respond. Making sure everything was perfect was important as the first time she tried to do it the message felt like a dagger stabbing her chest. Thankfully she had no injuries, Mrs Pomfrey assured her there were nothing, the pain stayed a few hours though and she could have kissed the nurse for excusing her from the morning class that day, she would have not been able to work anyway.

Y/N was now waiting at the slytherin table next to the few friends she was able to make among her own house, quietly eating while listening to the crazy story of the friend on her right, laughing joyfully. She turned her head when she saw the owls starting to enter the room, eager to find if she will receives the respond of her parents, she watch as the other student opened their own mail, including the raven-haired boy at the gryffindor table, Sirius Black.

He had catch the eye of Y/N like many others, girls and boys, but she never dared to make a move, she was a slytherin and she knew how much he hated them. She had thought many times to send him an anonymous later but what for ? It would be a lost cost and she rather let the feeling die rather than being hurt. Well, at least she thought her feelings would disappear as time went by but she was incredibly wrong, it only got more intense.

Being in most of his classes was of no help, his cocky behavior, his stunning looks and charming smile. What bugged her the most was how brilliant he was, she never saw him study or even really paid good attention in class but was somehow able to earn good marks. She was a bit jealous of him for that if she was honest with herself, she wasn’t a bad student per say but did have to be focused and study to have good grades. They talked a few times before, mostly him helping her out with classes but he was nothing but nice and patient with her despote the green of her tie.

She fell for him even more when she saw him helping first years travelling the corridors and defending a third year against her bully, the punch was perfectly aimed for Merlin’s sake ! She loved every story he told her, all the pranks, the aventures, the quidditch match. The more she learned about him, the more difficult it was for her to keep her eye away from him.

“You’re drooling again”, Jacob snapped her out of her mind “ ‘m not !” swipping her lips just to be sure, making her friends laugh, she was red of embarassment, so out she hadn’t notice the owl giving her her parent’s letter. She gratefully took it before giving a bit of food to the owl who then flied away. Y/N got interrupt has she was opening the enveloppe.

“C’mon, you cant’ keep looking at him from afar for the rest of school ! Talk to him for once and save us the lover eyes !” said Olivia, “I can’t, you know he hates slytherins” her friend opened her mouth to protest before being cut. “Plus, he is way out of my league, he is like-" Y/N hesited a bit on her words, waving her hand around “- a sun giving life around him and I’m just somekind of, I don’t know, insect in the dirt”. Her friends around all gave a chorus of long sighs, they heard that a million times before, she rolled her eyes “My point is, I will never have the courage to ask him out”.

Before anyone could talk, a loud sound was heard comming from the gryffindor table, followed by the sound of turn up paper. When Y/N looked, she frowned, seeing Sirius almost running out of the room. “Wait mate !” James Potter, his best friend, tried to follow him but Remus Lupin stopped him. Y/N didn’t quite catch what they were saying, something about him needing to be alone.

And alone he stayed, she didn’t see him for the rest of the day, and she learned during the dinner that night it was because of the letter he received from home, it was quite known by most of the people who cared enough to be aware of the disastrous relationship of Sirius and his family, as it wasn’t unusual to see the boy upset because of his mother. Y/N’s blood boiled every time it would happened, how could someone treat their child that way ? Taking their time to write every horrid words just to cause pain ? Using something she loved so much to cause trouble instead as it should be : for the one you loved.

The scene earlier that day worked her up so much, she put her parent’s latter away without reading it, and it is only now in her bed she remembered even having it. She smiled at the curved letters, it was her mother’s handwritting, she very enthousiatly explain how her and her dad loved the hug, that coupled with the speaking spell “It was like you were right here with us !”, well not quite as she precised right after, but it felt nice to feel and hear their daughter after so many weeks apparts. She laughted when her father this time wrote she should find a way to commercial it, as she will become the richest witch of the wizard world. “Sure thing dad” she thought to herself. She carefully fold the paper before putting it in her “letter box”.

Then when she laid down, she couldn’t stop feeling sad for Sirius, he had such terrible parents but deserved so much more. She turned and turned and turned around in her bed, searching for a way to cheer him up and then she stopped, thinking of the letter of her parents and the success of the hug in the message, perhaps, she could send him something ..? She blushed at the idea, what could she says ? “Hey, your parents suck but your butty could send me in outter space”, sure, yeah, what a great idea Y/N.

She sighed, fine, maybe not that harsh but she could try to remind him how much is he loved here and how much of a great person he is. So she sat down in her bed, took a piece of parchment, her ink and her quill, careful to not wake up her roomates as she closed her curtains. She blow air through her mouth for a minute, gathering some courage, and then she start to write, hoping he would like it.

----------------------------------------------------

The next day when she woke up, or more like when it was time to get ready since she didn’t close her eye all night, wanting the message to be perfect : the drawing, an illustration of a dog, a stag, a rat and the moon, remembering the nickname and the jokes the marauders gave and made to eachothers, she charmed it for the little animals to run around the paper, leaving paws or hooves print behind –which disappear after a few step of course-, the curves of the words, the ink, she had opt for her favorite dark purple, the flowers had she picked, some wind-flower and cyclamen, that she carefully stuck to the parchment.

And of course the final touch : a kiss on the forhead. She had thought of a hug but decided it was too much, it could be scary to suddenly feels arms around you. A smol kiss was more appropriate, a bit bold yeah, but more fleeting, less intimidating and still a tender gesture.

When she was happy with the result and check any error in her words she put the message in an envelopt, decorated with stars, showing the cannis constellation, because of Sirius name obviously. And then put it in her bag, careful so her friend would not see it.

Once she was ready and out of her room with her friends, she realised she had no idea on how to give it to him. Surely not by hand, she didn’t put her name anywhere for a reason, maybe slide it into his bag during class ? But she was to scared to be caught.

She didn’t have to worry about it to much, since Sirius wasn’t at the class she shared with him, his friends looked troubled and worried, calmer than usual. Y/N felt a weight setting in her stomach, was the letter that bad he didn’t want to show up today either ? When he wasn’t at lunch either, she decided to send him by owl.

She excused herself from her friend, saying she had to send a letter, it wasn’t unusual for her to do so, so they didn’t even flinch. Once at the owl aviary and once she gave it to an owl and walked away, trying not to think to much, she stop. What if the letter only made him more upset ? Of course nothing she wrote was mean, but what if he didn’t like at all the idea of some unknown person looking in his private life ? Feeling arrogant enough to think they could cheer him up when his friends, those whom he consider family, weren’t able to do it ? Y/N turned around to take the letter back but it was too late, the bird had fly away, and since he was at hogwarts, he will have it in a few minutes only.

She felt the weight in her stomach get heavier, she hoped so much it will not make things worse.

--------------------------

Hoped you liked my first fic ! I don't know when the second part will be posted but I'll do my best for it to be soon.

Have a nice day ! Love you <3

[obeyme-headcanons]

Now this is something I really want to do in the game. And I'm so dissapointed that we cant. So....I've written it down!! :)

What if MC helped clear ALL of Mammon's debts??

A/N: Much fluff, a G/N MC, and possible TWs.

TW: Much fluff, blood, some cursing, mean witches 😡, some bullying, and a wholesome baby Mammon 💛.

Please enjoy!! :) 💛

Mammon comes into your room all bloody and bruised. He staggers a bit before plopping on your bed next to you.

"M-Mammon...are you okay??" You question. You hear a muffled grunt from your left side.

"Mammon? Who did this to you?" You hear silence. Mammon must not want to answer. You think about who could've done this. His brother's are abusive, but only mentally. No lesser demon would dare mess with the second-born. Hmm. Wait, wasn't Mammon summoned by the witches earlier? It must have been them. They're always attacking him in some way,

"Mammon? Did the witches do this to you," you ask. "Please tell me the truth." The second you finish, Mammon lifts his head to you, and you see tears running down his face. From his reaction, it's safe to say the witches did it.

"Why would the witches do this?"

"It because of my DAMN debt!! I don't know what I did to them...*sniff* I never even met them before they came up and told me I owed them!!"

Poor Mammoney. He didn't deserve this. Every day, he either came back with nothing, bruised and bloodied or so emotional. Mammon kept talking about the witches, and what they'd do to him. He was spiling his heart out.

"And one time...OH!! I can't forget about...then they said..." Mammon kept going. Eventually, he stopped talking, realizing what he'd just said. You getting more furious, you kept thinking if a plan to get Mammoney out of debt. Getting more furious at the witches with each of Mammon's words, you can't think of anything. So you decide to try and make him feel better at least,

You fix Mammon up, get him emotionally stable and watch his favorite movie. He rests his head on your shoulder, and you die inside. How the hell is he so cute?! You slowly take out your D.D.D, set the brightness all the way down, and snap a few pictures. You head over to devilgram, of course stopping by your settings to update your wallpaper, and scroll around. You find a certain demon's page, supposedly the owner of ristorante six, and scroll.

You see a post of the demon stating that they need more workers. The pay seemed pretty good! 10 hours a day for 10k Grimm! Sure, it'd be hard. And painful and annoying. But you already had quite bit of Grimm saved up. About 666k (😈) to be exact. And you'd do anything to see him smile. So you DM the demon and ask for an interview. They accepted and wanted to see you the next day after 2. You smiled and sighed, praying to Lord Diavolo you could get the job.

"Hey, human. Where are ya going?" Of course Mammon had to barge in. Not that you hated it, now just wasn't a good time. All dressed up, you glance around nervously.

"Ahh, I'm just...going..." You couldn't find the words. You had to make up an excuse for this man. "Ahhuumm..."

"Jeez human. Just say you're going out! It's not that hard, ya know?" He sighed. With his hands on his hips, he pauses, and walks out. You're confused, but understand when he comes back with your backpack.

"H-Here you go. Sorry I took it. I was looking for Goldie-"

"It's okay Mammon." You walk over, kiss him on the cheek and walk out the door. His face turns red and he's very glad you walked out. After he's calmed down, he knows something is up. Everytime you go out together, you never dress up. Are you going to see someone? Do you not like him?? His thoughts spiral until he convinces himself that even if you did find someone, at least they made you happy. Not like a scummy, stupid brother would be able to do the job. But hey, he could hope. Right?

"So that's why you want this job..." and you nod. You see them ponder for a moment. "Okay. You're hired!!" You jump. It was unexpected and surprisingly very easy. You thank them over and over again and ask them when you can start.

"Right now if you're up for it! We're short on staff today, so I'm paying whoever works a little more today." You eagerly nod, and you're shown to the staff room. You put on your apron, and get to work. At the end of the day, you get 2k more than you should have. And including the tips you form in total you got 15k Grimm. Not bad for a first day! Exhausted, sweaty and hungry, you walk home with a coworker and head inside.

It's a good thing no one was awake. You make it to your bed and melt. To help pay off his debts and give him a little extra money, you're going to have to work-overtime. Meaning you can't hang out with the brothers anymore. Especially Mammon.

"Sorry Mammon..." You whisper, before falling into sleep.

It's been 5 months since you've started working. Luckily, Mammon had also been trying to pay off his debts. Which has helped you alot, but now you have enough money to help pay Mammon's debts off. But you're tired, and he can wait until morning, right? You slowly walk home and luckily no demons come to pick on you. You thank Lord Diavolo. You slowly open the door so it won't creak.

Luckily no one is awake. Except for Lucifer and Beel. You practically zombie walked into your room because you were so tired. Your about to open your door, but you hear a small sob. You stop in your tracks and listen.

"T-They don't love me. Why would they? I'm just a s-scummy second-born..." it sounded like Mammon. And by what they said, it confirmed your beliefs. And you're pretty sure he was taling about you. You open your door and walk in. Mammon looks up at you in surprise.

"Y-You weren't supposed to be back for another hour." He says while sloppily wiping off his tears.

"Well, they let me go early," You respond. You need to tell him. "Mammon..I have something really good to tell you. I-"

"Save it human. I already know, I don't want any details."

"You do? Mammon, isn't it wondererful?! Now you won't be bullied by your brother's or the witches!"

"If anything, they'll bully me more..."

"W-Why would they continue...?"

"Because they know I love you," he slams his head onto a pillow that oddly looks a lot like you. " And now you're going out with someone. I don't want any details. But...do they treat ya well?" His head pops back up, and you can see the tears in his eyes. His question hurt. Why would he think that?

"Going out with someone? Why would you think th-" you finally connect it all together. Leaving at 2 to get home at 12, if not later. Always dressing up and giving Mammon less and less time and attention to Mammon. It doesn't help that this has been going on for 5 months. And now that you got your last paycheck, you thanked them, quit and wished them well. You were free of that hell.

"Mammon, I'm not seeing anyone." You walk closer to him and rest you're hand on his cheek, and he blushes a little.

"Then why were you gone so much?"

"Silly demon. I was helping you pay off your debts!"

"You what...?" You could see the confusion in his eyes. But you also saw a glimmer of hope.

"That's right. I was gone for 5 months to help you pay of your debts to your brother's and the witches! And...I may have put a little money of Goldie."

"B-But why?" He realized there was no reason to lie about this. His eyes lit up and he perked up. But he was still so very confused.

"Because, I see what they do to you. And you just take it, like a man." He blushes at the word 'man', but gladly takes your compliment. You climb onto your bed, make room for him and pat the side next to you.

"Now come on Mammon. I'm tired, and I need snuggles." He blushes but gladly climbs in. He wraps his body around yours, pretty much pretty much protecting you from anything to come.

"Goodnight Mammon..." You whisper, before falling into the best sleep you've ever had.

The next day, Mammon is more than ready to pay off his debts. He pays off the witches and each of his brothers. You loved the look he had on his face. The witches could no longer attack him and his brother's could no longer verbally abuse his either. At the end of the day, he was excited to find out he had 500k Grimm on his card. He thanked you and pulled you into the biggest hug ever.

"Thank you MC...I feel more safe than I have been in decades." The comment made you sad, but made you smile. No one could hurt him, because you'd be there to protect him.

"I love you Mammoney...💛💛"

"I love you MC..." And you share a tender kiss.

The end~!!

Did you enjoy it? Give me more ideas please! My brain is too smol. Bye my little Grimm!!

💖 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤

[deonideatta]

@vinchenzoquassano Here’s my analysis on the juxtaposition of Han Seok and Vincenzo as brother figures to Han Seo! It got a bit long, so I’m putting it under a cut.

So we all know that Vincenzo and Han Seok are meant to contrast each other a lot, whether it’s fire imagery vs ice imagery, caring about family vs seeing family as a tool, or having everything under control vs being reckless and impulsive. And I think one of the things that really highlights the difference between Vincenzo and Han Seok in ways of thinking/treating others is the way they relate to Han Seo.

From the first interaction between the Jang brothers, we see that their relationship is based on threats, violence, and fear. It is not a sibling relationship, the only thing that connects them as siblings is the fact that they share the same dad. There are none of the usual characteristics of a healthy relationship between siblings, none of the fun, none of the support, no familial love, no empathy, concern, or worry. And their relationship most likely never resembled a proper siblinghood, as we know that Han Seok tormented Han Seo from a young age. Additionally, to begin with Han Seo is just ‘Han Seok’s brother, the puppet chairman’, the shadow of his brother even though ironically it’s Han Seok who remains in the shadows in the beginning. We only see him begin to shine as his own character when he starts to actively plan against Han Seok with the help of Mr Han, and this is only amplified when he starts to look up to Vincenzo.

This is why what Han Seo gets from Vincenzo is so important to him, even to the point of not betraying Vincenzo once Han Seok is out of the picture. It’s all there in that scene where they’re drinking together in episode 18. It’s poignant because the things Han Seo lists that he feels comfortable about with Vincenzo are all things that he’d had bad experiences with when they were with Han Seok. Both duos have scenes involving hockey, but in the SeokSeo scene Han Seo is very much in a lower position of power as he stands unprotected in a suit in contrast to Han Seok’s full hockey gear, getting hit by hockey pucks (we see this contrast again when Han Seo is the one wearing the hockey gear and hitting pucks at executives in suits, more on that later). It’s their first scene together, and it’s a pretty good image of their relationship. Han Seok has always had the high ground, and Han Seo has always felt vulnerable and unprotected from his volatile nature. 

In contrast, in the VincenSeo hockey scene both of them are wearing hockey gear, albeit without the helmets. This already shows that at the fundamental level this is a very different relationship, despite there still being a power imbalance. And the absence of the protection of a helmet also implies a level of trust, again in contrast to the way Han Seok had one, both to hide his identity but also to symbolize further distance. We see that Han Seo is at ease to the point where he feels comfortable enough to tease Vincenzo about Cha Young, and make quips/casual comments. Vincenzo is only mildly annoyed, and the atmosphere is far less charged than in the SeokSeo hockey scene. Most notably, even though Vincenzo does hit a puck at Han Seo, does trip him up, and does get annoyed at him, none of it carries the venom it does when Han Seok does it. It’s almost playful, it feels like something real siblings would do together (speaking from experience here), and Vincenzo is never hostile towards Han Seo. When Han Seok does things like that it doesn’t feel like sibling bickering, it feels like abuse. There is real malice in the way Han Seok treats Han Seo in general, and the hockey scene is no exception. So for Han Seo to be able to be in a space which he has always associated with pain/punishment and find himself at ease, not feeling threatened or worried, it must have meant a lot (which we see in the way he cant stop smiling after the hockey scene), and further serves to illustrate the difference in Han Seok and Vincenzo’s behaviour, right down to Vincenzo catching Han Seo when he falls, and Han Seo’s heartfelt thanks to him for helping him see how stupid he’d been.

It’s the same with all the other things he mentioned in the drinking scene. Eating scenes always say something about relationships in this drama (and in kdramas in general actually, but especially so here), and whenever we see Han Seo and Han Seok eating together, it always feels like Han Seo has to walk on eggshells, he can never relax or let his guard down, because he has to worry about Han Seok’s potential outbursts. Like in the scene where Han Seok flips the table and forces Han Seo to hold a knife to his neck, or the scene where they drink together after paying respects to their father. That scene was notable because it’s the scene where we find out that Han Seok killed their father. Han Seo asks Han Seok outright if he’d kill him off too if he got in his way. It’s one of the few times early on that he lets his perceptiveness show in front of Han Seok. Han Seok’s response is not reassuring at all, and he even goes as far as to belittle Han Seo's intelligence, stating that if he was just a little smarter he would have been nicer to him. This is again contrasted by Vincenzo encouraging Han Seo to learn more, and telling him that the mind is one's greatest weapon.

Han Seok's response also makes Vincenzo finally replying that he won’t kill Han Seo because he believes he’s changing for the better all the more impactful. With Han Seok it was always he won’t kill me so long as I am of use, because he needs me to take the fall for him, but with Vincenzo it’s now he won’t kill me because he sees value in me as a person and not a tool. We see this in how Vincenzo gives Han Seo advice, and complements him, albeit in a very roundabout way. I think despite his generally neutral face during their interactions, Han Seo is definitely growing on him. It’s even to the point that he allowed Han Seo to call him hyung, and even beyond that, to see him as a brother. I definitely think both of them need more time to grow as people and learn to relate to each other before this can actually be a proper brotherhood, but you have to start somewhere.

For the first time Han Seo is in an environment where he can let his guard down and confide in someone who is both a role model and a friend to him, even if that person is Vincenzo ‘i can’t ever show my emotional investment’ Cassano (though he has really come a long way since the beginning of the drama). Vincenzo represents all the things Han Seok never did for Han Seo as a brother, whether it’s giving him advice or letting him treat him with familiarity. Which is also an important contrast, that Han Seo calls Vincenzo Vin-hyung from the get go, while he mostly calls Han Seok hyungnim. The fact that Han Seo felt comfortable enough to ask Vincenzo if he could call him like a brother, sulk about it when he said no (”Ok Vincenzo Cassano nim” lol, no one can convince me that Han Seo isn’t a sass master), and then go directly to abbreviating Vincenzo’s name (Vin hyung) really tells us a lot about how much more comfortable he is with Vincenzo. 

It is also worth noting that even though Vincenzo is often snarky with Han Seo, their interactions still carry some level of comfort that is completely absent in Han Seok and Han Seo’s scenes, despite the fact that when Han Seok is not being violent he actually treats Han Seo normally (well as ‘normal’ as it can get for them), like when he gives him the watch, when Han Seo is watching him get his hair cut, or when they go hunting. But despite the veneer of that normalcy, their interactions always carry an undercurrent of danger, as we and Han Seo all know that anything could cause Han Seok to explode, like he did in the scene where they were eating together, quite suddenly and very aggressively. That underlying tension is always there, even when Han Seo is seemingly smiling and reacting well to Han Seok, because we know that Han Seok is only tolerating Han Seo because he is of use to him, and will not hesitate to hurt him if he annoys him, or get rid off him should he cross him or cease to be of use. Whereas with Vincenzo, Han Seo is at ease. There is no hidden danger, no fear of an outburst. Vincenzo is someone Han Seo looks up to and feels he can trust enough to go behind Babel team’s backs to collude with. This also highlights once again the way that even Vincenzo's emotionally limited treatment of others contrasts Han Seok's complete disregard for them. He never yells at Han Seo or belittles him in a cruel way, and increasingly their interactions are more casual. Though he's still a bit closed off, Vincenzo also listens to what Han Seo has to say, unlike with Han Seok, where Han Seo can never say what he really thinks.

Lastly, there’s the influence that both Han Seok and Vincenzo have on the way Han Seo behaves. We see that whether he realized it or not, Han Seo imitated and was influenced by some of Han Seok’s behaviour, from hitting hockey pucks at executives (and bullying the executives in general, most likely to feel more powerful), to throwing tantrums/having fits of anger and yelling, ordering a hit on Vincenzo and Cha Young and finding the Babel victims’ information. Likewise, we see that once he decides he’s jumping off that train and siding with Vincenzo, we gradually begin to see his behaviour change. He’s always had a playful/bratty streak, seen in how he was so happy about dodging the thing Han Seok threw at him that one time, in many of his interactions with Mr Han, and in the scene when he comes to Jipuragi in 80s clothes to show off his battle scar. That side of him still manages to appear even around Han Seok, so when he’s around Vincenzo and he doesn’t have to focus on avoiding Han Seok’s outbursts it comes out fully, and we get things like him distracting Vincenzo by calling out Cha Young’s name to score a goal, grinning like a little kid when Vincenzo chased him, and his joy at getting to call Vincenzo Vin hyung.

Additionally, we see that the more closely Han Seo works with Vincenzo, the more brazen he gets around Han Seok. He gets more flippant, and he almost openly praises Vincenzo, he becomes less obedient to Han Seok. All this culminates in the scene where he confronts Han Seok about the Elizabeth Holmes thing and tightens his handcuffs. By finding a role model in Vincenzo, as well as knowing he has the support of someone more powerful than Han Seok, Han Seo was able to finally cut off the puppet strings. We even see that he consulted with and listened to the board/company executives, contrasted to how he’d forced them to eat spicy food and hit hockey pucks at them before. He’s unlearning the volatile and violent behaviour he picked up from Han Seok and applying the advice that Vincenzo gave him, namely that your brain is your greatest weapon. Han Seok always seemed like a dangerous villain because of his violent tendencies and his position of power and influence, but we’ve seen how Vincenzo manages to corner him again and again, and how his irrational actions (coughcoughkillingmrsohcoughcough) are no match for Vincenzo’s strategic thinking. Han Seo sees this as well, and he begins to emulate Vincenzo’s behaviour.

Vincenzo is right that Han Seo is changing for the better, and he is most likely the catalyst for it. We see that from the get go Han Seo is determined to break free, and in the end what gets him there while making sure he doesn’t simply become an ineffective chairman or Han Seok II (with arguably less murder lol) is the appearance of Vincenzo as a reliable brother figure. Now whether or not Vincenzo is actually a good brother figure is a different debate, and I do think he also needs to develop in the area of relating to others before he can truly fulfill the role. Still, so far his influence on Han Seo has been largely positive, and I think given time Han Seo will probably also have a positive effect on him.

In conclusion, if they kill off Han Seo in the end it will be my villain origin story. Thanks for reading! Do share any thoughts/additions!