#I CANT BELIEVE IM GETTING ASKS STILL HEHEHEHEHH

[anonzentimes]

In regards to Nagito's voice sounding insincere in English dub; I know it's not the same thing, but as an autistic person Ive had some people mistake me for being sarcastic when I wasnt, especially as a kid. When I was really little I moved from a place where kids had to call every adult "ma'am/sir" to a place no one did that, and teachers complained to my parents that I was "rude and sarcastic" when I was polite and not-sarcastic??? Idk if this makes you feel better, but I guess I have a misunderstanding in common with Nagito.

Honestly, now that you say that the interpretation of Nagito being his honest self but sounding sarcastic so he's misunderstood that way on top of everything else is super tragic, it may hinder a chunk of the audience's understanding, but it's still an amazing way of thinking about it writing wise.

Also dude, wow, I am so sorry you had to go through that?? That sounds so frustrating, from the sound of things it sounds like things have gotten better? I hope so at least? Hope you're doing well!

For me, I struggle more with words and the feeling of helplessness when I'm not being understood. It doesn't happen too often anymore, but I genuinely do remember having meltdowns so bad about literally not knowing a word I needed to express myself when I was a toddler that I screamed so much someone had called the cops thinking I was being abused, which, arguably the COPS showing up made me melt down more LMAO??? I have a small memory of being under a table and hiding away from cops because I was afraid they'd take me away and that my mom called them, when in ACTUALITY it was just the neighbors concerned about me.

All of that to say, yeah, I definitely relate, the feeling of being misunderstood and the helplessness that it brings is so overwhelming, I never had issues with my "tone" necessarily but I've always had issues with my expressions. I'm a lot more expressive than I feel so a lot of the time I can't understand what expression I'm making and it's led to some horrible social interactions where I was making a more intense face than intended.

For some reason, the easiest ways for me to have a mental breakdown is not being able to communicate and two people talking to me with an annoyed tone, so I always felt super empathetic to Nagito in the first chapter upon rewatching it. Everyone yelling at you that you're the murderer? Ganging up on you like that? While you can't communicate or explain yourself truly? Yeah, i'd break too, I think that's genuine, and he's clever enough to use his meltdown to his advantage to attempt to convince them he's the killer. Of course it doesn't work though!

[loi-et-love]

NF: You charmer.

I: heh today, i spent so much time with SZ. My boss left at 5:15 n then i was at SZ's desk chitchatting with him. we left together n then we were in the basement till 7:15 talking. standing outside our cars n then he said lets go! you need to go home so we left n he gets more traffic than i do, so he texts me when he';s stuck, so this time i texted him when i was waiting for the signal to turn green n then he called me. we spoke for 6 mins. he reached 15 mins before i reached home n he wrote this: Is it you or if should be me scared ..... today I was down for one hours ..... I was emailing you 70 odd mails .... this is because you are in office ..... what would happen when you are not in this company you would forget me and find someone else ...... so who is the one to be heart broken ????? You keep saying I would go abroad ..... but look at yourself it's you who is going to leave me and go ...... any clue how I would feel when you are gone and stop talking to me as much ? And WTF ...... I am already missing you ..... you are right I should have hugged you before leaving and then got in to back seat. And the reason I didn't kiss was ..... I don't know what you think about me or what you would think about me after that.

in the basement, he came up with a stupid plan. he said "im not entertainment" i said ure not. nor are you a distraction!!" so he said, "okay so let's do this. starting from tomorrow, we won't talk/chat/ communicate till thursday" he's gg to out of town again for work on tuesday morning n coming back on wednesday night so ill see him on monday n then on thursday

NF: It would give your fingers a chance to rest.

I: so in the chat he said "we will talk on thursday" n i said "i cant do that. n i know u cant either" n then i said this "damn yaar.. this is fucked up! idk where the flirting ends and reality begins anymore!!" n he said "Agreed it's getting fucked up ..... so either enjoy this or stop this ..... this between thing is insane" ok! again! i dont believe he's really interested. like really interested. if he wudnt be married, he wud actually date me. BTW he knows about BB. the whole story

NF: You don't believe he's really interested??? You mean like he'd marry you?

I: i never think its possible. not that he wud marry me. no no no

NF: That's pretty hard to tell. You guys are in the super excited phase.

I: hehehehe its crazy yeah

NF: He'd be VERY happy to jump your bones though.

I: i dont think he wud actually do it. theres no air conditioning or fan in the basement so we were sweating. he used his hanky, which i didnt even knew he carried

NF: I estimate a 99% chance that he would.

I: so he joked that lets sit in the back seat of his car n i said lets go!! i said it a couple of times. n he said nahhhh no no. he just didn’t

NF: You've said no more a couple of times and you kid all the time, so he knows you are kidding. If you actually kissed him, like he's thinking about, excellent chance he wouldn't stop.

I: idk how this is possible

NF: When you are used to having sex, once you get riled up you want to keep going. It feels natural. And you have him riled up. Way riled up.

I: hehehehehh so when u said "you charmer" i grinned... hehehe idk. i really like him. n im not that person where i enjoyed n i left without giving a damn. i really care about him

NF: You really like him

I: yeah. i wudnt mind kisisng him but he's married. and then i'll officially be the "other woman"

NF: You already are. You're way past that.

I: i think ive always been just that. now im ready to see him outside office. he was shocked,. i told him when he had called me. i texted him the reason why i changed my mind

NF: You feeling the flames yet?? Heh. Playing with fire! Unless you really do want to have an affair with this married guy.

I: I don't want to do something immoral. Don't want to sabotage his marriage

NF: You already are doing that.

I: I asked him today how is his wife okay with you traveling so much?! Cause I wouldn't be okay! N he didn't answer. He said he did flirt with women after he was married. Nothing scandalous. I told him, “damn yaar.. this is fucked up! idk where the flirting ends and reality begins anymore!!” And he said, “Agreed it's getting fucked up ..... so either enjoy this or stop this ..... this between thing is insane” What does he mean by 'between things'??

NF: You are all hot for each other but not having an affair. You have gone to way more than friends. So not friends, not lovers, something in between.

I: idk. Me? Relationship? Me lovers? What???????

NF: That's what I think he means by "between thing"

I: And what? What aboutBB? My feelings for him?! They haven't gone anywhere

NF: You and SZ are about 95% of the way to having an affair.

I: My mom called why I was late. N I said I was in the basement talking n she asked who was I talking to? So I said "hmmmmm SZ..." n she mimicked me. And that's my mom !!!! On top of everything. As if he's my 24 yo unmarried going to marry me boyfriend

NF: heh

I: He took a risk to talk to me for so long in the basement. Everybody knows him in the office. He's a family friend of the owner. He calls him uncle. Was telling me about the paintings the owner has in his bathroom!!

NF: I wish you well in this. I hope you figure out what you really want.

I: i want to have an affair but im scared to begin n of how it will end

NF: Some people regret what that will do to the wife. Some don't.

I: he responded n said "nothing. see you on thursday"

NF: He could have seriously mixed feelings too

I: He was telling me that he wrote this huge email to me n in reply I sent him a longer email than his so he came to that n he's like "and yes! That was a long email! That was the longest email ive ever seen!!" I said but you wrote a long one too. So he said "yeah but I'm in a hotel room. I'm in shorts, doing nothing but just writing to you n answering to GC's phone calls. But you're in office!!!!" He was surprised. He was like "I started reading n I'm like why isn't this ending?!! Where the hell does this end?" Heheheheh n he was laughing. when he had called today, he tells me that when he responds to my emails, there's my pic in the right. so his colleagues, with whom I also talk, have seen him emailing me. They probably have read a little bit here n there too. n thats when i knew how he wud feel if i told him that H sir n Kaalu knows we email n that Kaalu has read a few too. im not including you in this

NF: So now people in the office are thinking you two are having an affair? That might discourage your boss.

I: heheheeh. SZ said ppl have noticed that we two talk a lot. that GC's secretary gave him the eyes n also taunted him saying "pay attention to work n stop getting involved with women!" it makes sense bcz SZ n i have nothing in common. why wud we even start a conversation????

NF: Oh, no work reason to talk

I: thats what he loves about me. he had very few conversations with ppl around him n nobody could hold a conversation. even relating to work. n then there's me!! who spoke about all nonsense crap n still it was interesting