#I HAVE DEEP LOVE FOR FALIN I ALREADY KNOW

[possamble]

I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way

[malewifesband]

i see it often that people do not see laios liking kabru, but in reality laios does like kabru! quite a lot for a guy that (from his perspective) he just met! laios forgetting kabrus exact name is not evidence of disinterest in any way--hes only heard it a couple of times, he struggles with small details (unless you want to argue laios also doesnt give a shit about marcille, chilchuck and senshi, he also forgets small details about them. if you do think this, i think dungeon meshi may be too advanced for you. stick to bluey.), and the man has autism. like near explicitly.

laios offers food from their limited supplies because kabru showed an interest in eating monsters, and makes him an omelette so he can have something to eat even though other food was already being prepared. he listens to kabrus criticism of his behavior and mindset in trying to protect falin even though she was straight up killing people, and tries to drag kabru to safety. he watches kabru defuse the situation between himself and toshiro masterfully, and confides in him how hurt he is that toshiro is so angry and how he mustve done something truly awful to upset him like that. when kabru tells him that meeting him was the best part of his time in the dungeon, laios agrees and says its the same for him (remember: laios doesnt do empty platitudes well--if he said it, he meant it).

when kabru leaves, we get three fucking panels in a row of laios staring after him, flexing the hand kabru was just holding, and reflecting on kabrus words ("next time..?")

when kabru shows up again deep in the dungeon, chilchuck is suspicious, but laios is so excited to see him that he throws caution to the wind and lets kabru hold his hand again despite seconds later crossing succubus off his list of shapeshifters that could be appearing as kabru--a carelessness around monsters and danger laios rarely exhibits. when kabru gives his warning about the canaries, laios is grateful. he notices how often kabru saves his skin

when lycion reveals that kabru lied about wanting to eat the omelette laios made, it breaks his heart because he made that with love! he made it for kabru, and kabru didnt like it, and now he knows kabru was just playing at friendship to use him. that breaks his heart, hes distraught, but he doesnt have time to be hurt about it when marcille needs his help urgently so he turns to run to her. he apologizes to kabru and tries to leave again. he isnt listening to what kabru is saying here because kabru was just revealed as a liar and because it doesnt really cohere (kabru is stuttering and speaking in broken sentences as he tries to explain about the dungeons power) and he needs to save marcille

he doesnt believe kabru wanted to be his friend, because who would? why would laios be special enough, loveable enough, to go through the pains kabru went through, just to be his friend? but when kabru makes the intensity of his desire known, laios promises to feed him again, at a proper restaurant --and again, food is care for laios, to feed someone is to love them. marcille is still his priority bc she is in real danger but he means what he says, he really does want to start over with kabru and be real friends with him

once we hit the resolution of the story, kabru near glues himself to laios, helping him and trying to cement himself as a right-hand man, and making known his intent to support laios no matter what. in the medieval manuscript style epilogue, kabru is one of two friends that stick by laios as he becomes king. both marcille and kabru become the people closest to him (besides falin of course), two friends who will always support him, always let him know when hes fucked up and theyre mad at him, two friends who he can rely on. laios did not have to accept kabru as an advisor, he did not have to ask him to stay with him. he did that because after everything, he trusts kabru now, and knows he can count on him

while laios doesnt give any big monologues about what he likes about kabru, its very clear he does, and we know what things laios values in other people. he appreciates kabrus social skills (very clear in the post canon comic in the adventurers bible), his intelligence, that kabru WANTS to be around him and understand him even though its difficult, his strength, and frankly he does appreciate his charm (three fucking panels straight of staring after him). laios really values people with specialized skillsets who are willing to tell him frankly what they think and advise him in areas he is weak in (something we see in his relationship with... i was gonna say namari but its everyone. he does this with everyone he likes. and in the resolution kabru does this CONSTANTLY he does not go a panel without giving laios his professional opinion on how to deal with people).

in conclusion: arent you hungry, kabru? let laios make something for you

[withlove-xixi]

— LAIOS NSFW THOUGHTS: laios x reader

ᥫ cw: nsfw, petplay, dom/sub, praise ★ laios appeals to me w the many possible sexual exploits he could be into #tbh — MINORS DNI! —

im sorry, i cant get it off my head .. he'd ... be really into petplay i think. he wouldn't be too ashamed of it too, in fact he's be pretty eager about it. he'd be on all fours and you could already see the imaginary tail eagerly wagging from behind him, and its endearing really. laios would love it if you pet his head or scratched his belly or even just combing through his hair. he wouldn't be against wearing a collar or some ears and a tail to complete the look (though i don't think he'd like being caged or leashed so much. something about feeling constricted too much freaks him out)

he's got that dog in him, what can he say?

oh he would absolutely melt too with praise. anything to let him know he's doing a good job, that you're feeling as good as he is. he loves it, before anything, it's reassurance, a sign to keep going or to change his pace/angle. he knows he's not the best at reading people, so something as simple as telling him how good it feels is enough to keep him going and going. though, immediately after reassurance, it's the unexplainable twist in his gut when you tell him these things. he just loves being called a good boy. argue what you want about if he'd growl or if he's whimper because the correct answer is he'd do both. i dont think he's particularly noisy in bed, but definitely he will make noise and when he does it's so obvious because he's just so loud. it's a bit jarring sometimes because he could be almost silent, save for deep breaths and pants, and suddenly a canine-like growl or whimper would escape his lips.

i like to think he's more or less quiet because he's just too focused on the act. any noise that slips out is simply primal response, written in laios' dna to respond so instinctively.

he's like petnames too! he finds a certain intimacy in the act. he loves calling you by them too, though they're quite unorthodox, things like "my wildflower" or "cheesecake" (since it's his favorite food!) he's definitely tried to call you by a monster's name ... and as sweet as the sentiment was, it wasn't something that lasted too long.

ohhh and back to petplay, laios loves being called "puppy". it's cute and honestly, he kind of is one, is he not?

i think laios can be a bit too excited sometimes too. it's easy for him to get carried away with things he wants to try or do, so you'd have to repeatedly ground him back to what's happening or what's reasonable. though it's not always a verbal cue. you could kiss him gently or pat his arm and he'd get the message, he'd slow down and give you time to breathe and stuff.

idk i think laios is a really sweet guy. similar to my falin nsfw thoughts, as much as he wants to try these new things, it's more out of curiosity and comes from a certain air of innocence. a lot of those things are new therefore something he must try lol. its endearing, it really is. but like his sister, i think he can be a bit timid about it. if he mulls it over too much, he'd end up shyly asking you about it, if it were something you were comfortable with or something you wanted to try. otherwise, he'd be asking you pretty directly, something straight to the point and along the lines of "i want to do this". that being said, i think laios could easily be coerced into trying things. you dont even need to bat your lashes or plead, if you play your cards right, you could instantly spark his curiosity and get him ready to take of his clothes.

oh but laios .. wouldnt be the best at aftercare. dont get me wrong, he tries his best, but somehow he feels a bit lost on what to do. on instinct he goes on autopilot, picking up clothes from the ground, handing you yours, getting dressed and preparing to sleep. but something sweet he does is talk to you though he'd do that regardless of sex. just something short and sweet before you go to bed, in a way, its his way of showing his love and care for you. he listens to what you have to say, he tells you something in return and then its off to bed with you both. it's nice especially if you two have finished doing something nasty, it's a slice of domesticity after something that feels so carnal and it's truly heartwarming.

[fandomgrabbag]

Probably been said already but I'm having a break today and therefore I have no filter.

So we have basically agreed that one of the main motifs of Dunmeshi is that eating food (especially food made of monsters) equates to the ability to take up space, the necessity of making your needs known and heard in order to survive.

Thinking about what that says about the characters. Readmore because long.

Most of the world is pretty down on the idea: they don't want to admit someone would resort to that, let alone find joy or satiation in it.

Senshi is open and unbegrudging. He not only enjoys it but he spreads the knowledge and ability wherever he can, and invites others to find that joy too.

Chilchuck admits the necessity, takes some joy, but remains wary. There are circumstances where he is encouraged to enthusiastically enjoy, and circumstances where other factors outweigh his enjoyment for the food's flavour.

Izutsumi is picky, and refuses to eat food she doesn't like, which has parallels, but honestly I think her character speaks more to the themes of freedom and restriction in the story than to the themes about exerting your will and identity on your surroundings. But still, there is something in her desire to eat only what she wants, when she wants, independent of others' needs for food. And her tension over wanting to have an uncomplicated relationship between I caught it = I eat it, ignoring intangible contributions from others, or contributions not directly related to hunting.

Kabru has a deep revulsion for it. His own background and circumstances mean that even if the food is good, he's, at least to start, incapable of enjoying it because of what it represents to him.

Mithrun (slight spoilers this paragraph) never chooses to eat, he is only fed when others decide he needs food. He is not capable of either enjoying or disliking food, not in any meaningful sense.

Laios GLEEFULLY enjoys food, and expects everyone else to as a matter of course. In Laios's mind, everyone who doesn't enjoy monster food must have something else going on that he can't understand. He wants people to enjoy food as much as he does, and wants, like Senshi, to invite that enjoyment. He openly, uncomplicatedly, unreservedly, loves to eat.

Falin I have ... Thoughts about but they involve a lot more reading between the lines so I would need to make a whole separate post. Suffice to say for now that she enjoys it, but nobody knows that about her or expects it of her. That's the very base, no-nuance reading.

Marcille. Oh Marcille. Marcille says she hates monster food at every opportunity. She rejects it in a way that almost makes her the "voice" of repulsed society, especially at the beginning. She is rigid about what food she does and does not enjoy. But almost every time she is given monster food and ends up eating it? She LOVES it. She is ECSTATIC to be eating it. She INDULGES.

Anyway, there are other themes and motifs that interplay with these but just saying. Just saying the characters have some Important Themes going on here.

[kotoku]

chilchuck x reader - cherry wine

synopsis - the group had been planning a hangout at the local bar for a while now. it was only a few months later when everyone’s schedule had aligned that everyone was able to meet up. seeing chilchuck there had brought up the buried feelings you kept to yourself. how will this night unfold, you wonder.

pairings - chilchuck tims x reader

warnings - not so family-friendly words / drinking

word count - 1.8k

The bar was packed with people varying in species, swarming the dance floor as they swayed and twirled to the beat of the music playing over the loudspeakers. You were amongst those people, skittering across the dance floor as you followed in rhythm to the song that was currently playing. 

The group that you had shown up with had split into their interests. Whether it was drinking at the reserved booth or chatting with an old friend, you didn’t know, but as long as they were having fun! 

The group in question consisted of Laios, Falin, Marcille, Chilchuck, Senshi, and Izutsumi. A very unique gang but that’s what drew you in. Everyone had varying personalities and you loved each vibe they had given off, thus propelling you into forming a tight-knit bond with the group. 

With a glance toward the booth you knew they were seated at, you only saw Senshi, Izutsumi, and Chilchuck, all seemingly drinking their beverages while chatting away. Of course, Senshi had made sure of only giving Izutsumi alcohol-free drinks, Chilchuck almost accidentally giving her a shot before it was slapped away by the older man. The memory had made you chuckle.

The upbeat dancing slowly started tiring you out, causing you to retreat to your seat with a huff. Izutsumi and Senshi had given you an acknowledging glance before returning to their conversation, Chilchuck giving you an amused glance as he took a chug of his ale.

“Tired already? Sheesh, your stamina is lacking.” He teased, giving you a smug smirk. You rolled your eyes in response, giving him a small shove. 

“Whatever you say, old man. Bet the only thing you’d manage is a couple of cracks and pops before you’re tired out.”

“Old!? You’re not that much younger so I’d say you’re old too!” Chilchuck crossed his arms, offended at being called ‘old’ as he was only 29. You laughed, waving a worker over so you could place an order for some water. 

“How’s your shop been, Chil?” You hummed, resting your cheek in the palm of your hand. He seemed to have visibly grimaced, sighing heavily before answering. “It’s been fine, damn workers have been slacking off though.” 

“Really now? I thought you had a good eye for candidates.” You thanked the waiter as she placed down the glass in front of you. Taking a couple of swigs of your drink, you continued listening to Chilchuck's small rant. 

“Yeah well— turns out that people may not always be what they seem. They were pretty chipper at first, but I think they’re starting to take things for granted.” 

“Hmm…” You hummed to yourself, deep in thought. 

“Hey! What if I worked for you?” Chilchuck almost spat out his drink in surprise, coughing into his elbow. “You? Work for me? Psh, as if you’d leave that comfy desk job of yours.”

“What!? It’s been getting kinda boring lately, things aren’t the same as they used to be. It wouldn’t hurt being some kind of manager for your shop!” You whined, slouching over the table. 

Chilchuck flicked your forehead in mock annoyance, huffing. “You have a good job, idiot. It’d be a shame to waste your talent at a small shop such as mine.”

“…” You slowly registered his words, giving him a bright grin. “You think I’m talented?”

“Uh, who wouldn’t?” His face slowly flushed a soft pink before he lightly shoved you. “Don’t let it get to your head!”

Laughing, you waved him off, finding his reactions to your teasing quite cute. It really brightened up your mood, you noted.

For the next couple of minutes, you both sat there, drinking your respective drinks while sharing different stories from the past month. To be honest, it was quite nice being able to catch up with Chilchuck, it had been a while since you had a group meet-up due to everyone’s conflicting schedules. You felt your heart ache at the idea of this hangout coming to a close. When will you see each other again? 

Unbeknownst to you, Chilchuck felt that same ache. Although he openly showed his irritation with the group, he couldn’t deny that you were all his close friends and meant something to him… Not like he’d tell any of his friends of this anyway, he still has a reputation to uphold, he tells himself. 

As much as Chilchuck would try to hide his fondness for you all, everyone knew that he cared, and that in itself was enough. 

“Are you gonna dance?” 

Chilchuck was broken out of his thoughts by your sudden question, eyes darting from you to the dance floor.

“..Maybe,” he shifted his gaze away from you, focusing on the drink in his hands. “It’s been a while.”

“Ahh come on,” you nudged his shoulder with your elbow. “Just one song!” 

He rolled his eyes, a small smile creeping into his face. “Fine, just one though.” 

With a cheer, you gently pulled him up from his seat, dragging him onto the crowded dance floor. However, as soon as you got there, the music shifted and the song seemed much more romantic compared to the previous ones.

“Oh, uhh…” You trailed off, unsure if Chilchuck was in the mood to dance anymore since the vibe had completely changed. “Do you still..?” 

“I said one song, didn’t I?” He huffed, offering a hand to you. “Come on, don’t want to keep me waiting do you?” 

You felt your cheeks heat up at his offer, was he really willing to dance with you? Hand in hand, feet in rhythm, and distance between you almost nonexistent? …Ah, fuck it. Never know when you’ll get this chance again.

With newfound confidence, you placed your hand in his, being swept off into the midst of the crowd. 

You both started off a little clumsy, your feet accidentally stepping on his as he teased you for your poor dancing skills. You’d roll your eyes in response, cheeks flushing in embarrassment before trying again. 

Surprisingly, Chilchuck made for a skilled dancer, following in tune with the song as he twirled you around. Every time you did so, you found yourself laughing in surprise, his smile widening at your giddy self. 

Maybe it was the cherry wine you had earlier but.. everything in that moment seemed different, as if you were seeing through rose-tinted glasses. The bar had felt empty, leaving only you and Chilchuck swaying in beat to the song. Your eyes were locked on his as he let himself relax, returning your gaze with a smile while leading you. This had seemed so natural for the both of you, that you almost hadn’t noticed the song coming to a close.

As the ending to the song came, Chilchuck suddenly dipped you, leaving you breathless as everything faded out, your focus honing in on him as a look of fondness overcame his expression. It was a look unlike any other, eyes filled with such intensity and a grin that made your heart flutter with anticipation. There was no denying that he harbored intimate feelings for you.

Just as soon as it happened, it ended, the two of you left slightly panting as people scattered for the next song. 

“Chilchuck.. I—“

“_____.”

Before you could speak, Chilchuck shushed you, hand intertwining with yours as he pulled you to a more private location. 

“I need to speak with you. Privately.”

Hearing him state the last part made your body flush with heat, the beating of your heart picking up its pace as you waited with bated breath for what was to come. He had led you towards the garden the bar had, the display of greenery very well showing the dedication and care the owners held for them. There was no one else there, just the two of you beneath the garden’s fairy lights and the stars.

You both took a seat on a small bench, Chilchuck’s hand slowly leaving yours, fiddling with his fingers. His brows were furrowed, gaze locked onto the ground with focus as he tried picking out what to say. 

“I’ll just get straight to the point… _____, I’ve liked you for a while now and—“ He paused, mouth moving to form words but nothing came out. “sigh It’s fine if you don’t reciprocate… In fact, forget I said anything! I-“ 

You quickly shut him up with a small peck on the cheek, his words rendering you speechless and leaving you with only your actions to speak for yourself. Chilchuck had stilled, his words pausing as he gaped up at you. His face slowly became a cherry red, the hue reaching the tips of his ears. You could almost see steam coming from him, you mused to yourself. 

“I like you too, Chilchuck.” Smiling, you cupped his face, feeling the heat radiating from his cheeks. 

Before you could register what happened next, he had already leaned towards you, lips placing a chaste kiss on your own before departing. If his face could get any redder, it would’ve. 

“You're such an idiot.” He huffed, his giddy expression betraying his words. You laughed before pinching his cheek. 

“You’re the one who likes me y’know.” 

“…Yeah.” Chilchuck’s words had trailed off, much too distracted by your lips, your eyes, everything. He couldn’t help himself, is what he thought as he leaned in for another kiss, this time, lasting much longer. 

There was a certain tenderness behind it, lips moving in sync and he pulled you closer. Something about you drew him in, and he couldn’t get enough of it.

Before you could continue any further, a phone rang out, startling the two of you. 

“Ah..everyone is getting ready to leave.” You hummed, scrolling through Marcille’s text message. “We should head back.”

The half-foot grumbled next to you, arms crossing as his brows twitched in irritation. “Seriously? Talk about bad timing.” 

“Don’t worry. You’ll have many opportunities in the future.” You grinned, standing up and stretching. 

“There better be…” He huffed, standing up as well. 

The two of you talked while slowly walking toward your booth, trying to delay the inevitable departure. However, it seemed you didn’t have to worry about leaving his side anytime soon. 

“Hey..do you wanna come over? Watch a movie or something?” Chilchuck asked, hands in his pant pockets. 

Your smile widened at the offer, feeling a warmth flood your body. “I’d love that.” 

“Hmm…” He looked towards the booth in thought before turning to you. “I never said it before but.. you taste a lot like cherry wine.” 

“..Is that a good thing?” 

“Definitely.” 

[anna-the-undertaker]

Hi Anna! I always love to read all of your writing because it's so interesting and amazing! especially "Rebirth" is one of my favorites, I like how you explained the environment and relationships with 7 demons that affected the MCs' bodies and changed their bodies or DNA to survive in the environment they live in. And I LOVE that you brought up Nephilim for your MCs. (I wanted to read about Nephilim for a long time🫠) so what I want to ask is if MCs bodies were fully evolved, with both angel and human blood and a pact with demons, would they have enough power to become a Chimera with a body similar to falin from (Dungeon Meshi) and with such great power, would they be able to maintain their sanity and have full control over their power? *I'm really sorry if my question is too long or some words may be wrong* I would love to see you write about this, but if you're not comfortable, that's okay🥹 I wish you good health, both physically and mentally, and get enough rest❤️

Hi! Thank you so much! I'm so happy you have enjoyed my writing. I am seriously psyched to write for this. As I am sure you noticed, I love science/biology/theoretical topics. Especially when combined with fantastical worlds like in Obey Me. Using the topic of human evolution and the influence a demonic and angelic presence would have on MC is just so much fun. This turned into more of an essay or rather a theoretical explanation so if you would like me to turn this into a fic like Rebirth please let me know :) And I wish all the same to you as well.

In the world of Obey Me!, MC's unique heritage as a descendant of Lilith—a former angel reborn as a human—offers a fascinating avenue to explore the intersection of angelic, human, and demonic biology. By integrating the supernatural and evolutionary principles, we can hypothesize the possibility of MC evolving into a Chimera-like being, similar to Falin from Dungeon Meshi, while considering the implications on their sanity and control over their newfound powers.

The Biological and Supernatural Foundation:

Human Evolution and Supernatural Influence Human evolution is defined by adaptability, which has allowed Homo sapiens to survive and thrive under diverse conditions. When considering MC, we must explore how the blending of human, angelic, and demonic elements could influence this adaptability. The human body, already highly malleable in response to environmental stressors, would be the perfect vessel for such an extraordinary transformation, especially if influenced by supernatural forces.

The key lies in the concept of atavism, where ancestral traits resurface due to dormant genes being reactivated. If we accept that some of Lilith’s angelic qualities were passed down genetically, then MC might possess latent angelic traits that could be triggered by their pact with demons, catalyzing a profound physical and metaphysical evolution.

Angelic and Demonic Biology Angelic biology, in this universe, is marked by purity, resilience, and a high affinity for light-based energies. Angels are beings of order and harmony, with their power fundamentally tied to divine will and cosmic balance. Demons, conversely, embody chaos, power, and a deep connection to darker energies. Their biology is designed for survival in hostile environments, and their power is linked to the seven deadly sins, each representing a fundamental aspect of their existence.

MC’s body, already an amalgamation of human and angelic traits, would undergo radical changes when exposed to demonic energy through their pacts. The combination of demonic chaos and angelic order within a human framework could lead to the emergence of a Chimera-like form—one that is not purely one thing or another but an amalgamation of all three.

The Evolution into a Chimera:

Physical Transformation MC’s transformation into a Chimera-like being would likely involve the activation of latent angelic genes combined with the influence of demonic power. This transformation would resemble a form that balances the traits of all three ancestries. Drawing from Dungeon Meshi’s Falin, whose body integrates features of multiple species, MC might develop a form that is both majestic and terrifying—an angelic aura fused with demonic strength and human adaptability.

The physical manifestation could include angelic wings, demonic horns, and a humanoid frame capable of withstanding extreme conditions. The human body’s adaptability would allow for the integration of these features without rejection, with the newfound form being a harmonious blend rather than a patchwork of mismatched parts.

Supernatural Abilities This new form would grant MC a host of abilities: enhanced strength and speed, unparalleled healing, and the ability to wield both light and dark magic with equal proficiency. The angelic heritage might grant powers of purification and protection, while the demonic influence could bestow abilities of destruction and domination. The human element would serve as the bridge, allowing MC to use their powers with a degree of versatility that neither angels nor demons possess.

The Psychological Implications:

Maintaining Sanity The question of whether MC could maintain their sanity hinges on the psychological stress of embodying such divergent forces. The human psyche, while resilient, is vulnerable to fragmentation when exposed to conflicting influences. Here, the role of MC’s human consciousness becomes crucial. Their connection to Lilith—a being who experienced both angelic and human life—may provide a stabilizing influence, enabling them to reconcile the chaotic nature of their powers.

Control Over Power To control such immense power, MC would need to integrate the disparate parts of their nature into a coherent identity. This might involve a deep psychological struggle, as the angelic and demonic aspects vie for dominance. However, if MC can achieve a balance—accepting both the light and dark within them—they could emerge as a being of unparalleled strength and wisdom. This synthesis of power could lead to a state of transcendence, where MC is no longer bound by the limitations of any single nature but instead exists as a new, hybrid entity with full control over their abilities.

The Role of Lilith’s Legacy:

Lilith’s angelic qualities, passed down through her bloodline, would serve as the foundation for MC’s transformation. Her resilience, compassion, and defiance against divine authority could manifest in MC as an indomitable will, allowing them to harness their powers without losing themselves. The presence of these traits suggests that Lilith’s influence has been subtly shaping MC’s evolution all along, preparing them for this moment of transformation.

If MC's body and mind could not adapt to their new Chimera-like form, the consequences would be catastrophic—both psychologically and physically. The delicate balance between their angelic, human, and demonic traits would unravel, leading to a terrifying descent into madness and a grotesque transformation that could make them a monster far worse than the demons themselves.

Psychological Descent into Madness:

The first sign of MC's inability to adapt would manifest in their psyche. The human mind, even one strengthened by supernatural resilience, is not designed to handle the constant clash of divine order and demonic chaos. The angelic part of MC would seek harmony, while the demonic influence would fuel destructive impulses. Trapped between these opposing forces, MC's consciousness would begin to fracture, leading to severe cognitive dissonance. They would experience horrifying hallucinations, hearing the voices of angels and demons screaming in their head, each demanding dominance.

As the pressure mounts, MC would lose their sense of self. The once clear boundaries between their human emotions, angelic virtues, and demonic urges would blur, leaving them in a state of perpetual confusion and torment. Their mind, overwhelmed by the conflicting energies, would spiral into insanity. Rational thought would give way to primal instincts, and MC would become increasingly erratic, lashing out in uncontrollable fits of rage and despair.

Physical Deterioration and Transformation

The failure to adapt would also trigger a nightmarish transformation in MC's body. The once harmonious blend of angelic, demonic, and human traits would turn into a grotesque amalgamation, as their body tries and fails to reconcile these conflicting energies.

Skin and Flesh MC's skin would begin to tear and split at the seams, unable to contain the volatile mix of divine and infernal energy. The angelic light within them would sear their flesh from the inside, while the demonic darkness would corrode it from without. Their skin would blister and crack, revealing raw, pulsating muscle beneath, with patches of radiant white light and inky blackness fighting for dominance. The resulting form would be a horrifying patchwork of angelic brilliance and demonic decay, neither fully one nor the other.

Limbs and Appendages Their limbs would elongate and contort in unnatural ways, as their body struggles to accommodate the conflicting energies. Angelic wings, meant to be symbols of purity and grace, would become twisted and malformed, with feathers falling out in clumps, leaving behind skeletal remains dripping with blood and ichor. Their hands and feet would morph into grotesque claws, sharp and jagged, as the demonic influence asserts itself. These claws would be capable of rending flesh and bone with terrifying ease, a testament to the destructive power coursing through their veins.

Eyes and Face MC’s eyes would change as well, losing any semblance of humanity. One eye might glow with an ethereal, almost blinding light, while the other would burn with a hellish fire, each representing the warring forces within them. Their gaze would become wild and unfocused, filled with a maddening mix of fear, rage, and despair. Their face, once familiar, would warp into something monstrous, with sharp, predatory features emerging as their demonic nature gains ground. Their mouth might elongate, teeth sharpening into fangs meant for tearing flesh, while their voice would become a distorted, guttural growl.

Becoming a Monster Worse Than Demons

With their mind shattered and their body twisted, MC would no longer be recognizable as the person they once were. The final stage of their transformation would be the loss of all human reasoning and morality. They would become a true abomination, a creature driven only by base instincts—hunger, rage, and a need to destroy. Their angelic and demonic traits would no longer be in conflict but would instead fuel a terrifying synergy, creating a being that is both holy and profane, yet utterly devoid of compassion or mercy.

This Chimera-like creature would surpass even the worst of demons in its monstrosity. Where demons are creatures of sin, motivated by vice, this new form would be a vessel of pure, unrestrained chaos. It would hunt and kill indiscriminately, driven by a need to satisfy the conflicting energies within it. The creature would feed on the life force of others, both to sustain itself and to ease the constant agony of its existence.

The Aftermath

The longer MC remained in this monstrous form, the more their body would deteriorate. The conflicting energies would continue to tear them apart from within, causing their flesh to rot and fall away, only to regenerate in a never-ending cycle of decay and renewal. Their body would become a grotesque shell, a prison for their fractured mind, with nothing left of the person they once were.

In the end, this monstrous being would be an embodiment of despair and suffering, a tragic testament to what happens when the balance between light and dark is lost. A creature of nightmares, worse than any demon, and beyond redemption.

In this state, MC would be feared by angels, demons, and humans alike, a cautionary tale of the dangers inherent in wielding power beyond one’s control.

[moo-siala]

FALINE — JAMAL MUSIALA

PAIRING: jamal musiala x best friend!reader

SUMMARY: jamal and reader have been best friends since forever but they can't hide their love for each other any longer.

CONTENT: fluff, jamal and reader being scared, slight mention of sexual intercourse (nothing too graphic), some teasing, not proof read.

NOTE: this is a repost because i didn’t realize i posted it with an ask that had nothing to do with this story 💀

you and jamal have been best friends your whole life. your mothers were best friends, so it made sense that you two became so close.

you were there when he had his first try out, you were there when he signed his first contract, and you were there when he won his first trophy.

you were also each other's first, that night being one of the most beautiful and intimate moments you shared. you can still remember how his hands caressed your whole body, how gentle he was, and the sounds both of you made. but in fear of ruining your friendship, it didn't turn into something more, no matter how badly both of you desired it.

when jamal signed his contract with bayern, you thought that was going to be the end of your friendship. with him going away and you still in high school, it was going to be very complicated to see each other. but that changed when two months before graduation, you received an acceptance letter from the university you had applied to in munich, meaning that the two of you would be able to see each other as much as you wanted.

jamal was so happy that he offered to be roommates, not wanting to be away from you anymore. at first you said no because he wasn't going to let you pay half of the rent like you wanted, but after he agreed to let you take care of groceries, you accepted.

it's been a couple of years since that, and you've never regretted that decision, neither has jamal. in fact, it brought you closer than ever, both of you seeing the best and worst versions of the other, and always supporting each other no matter what. that is how you became jamal's rock, like he says.

even on vacation you're together, like right now. after the euro, all jamal wanted to do was relax under the sun and in the ocean, that's how you ended up in italy, on a boat.

"fali, can you help me?" jamal asked, showing you the sunscreen bottle.

oh yeah, alfonso and leroy had given you the nickname "faline" after bambi's girlfriend and it stuck. you didn't understand why faline was the nickname chosen for you instead of thumper, who was bambi's actual best friend, but you never thought much about it.

"of course, bambi" you got up from your seat and grabbed the bottle, pouring some on your hand and rubbing it on jamal's back.

"that feels nice" jamal chuckled, making you playfully roll your eyes.

"you two! get a room already!" alfonso yelled from the other side of the boat.

"they never get tired, do they?" jamal asked and you shook your head no.

"it's okay, we're always bullying each other" you giggled as you rubbed sunscreen on jamal's chest. your hand made its way down his abs making jamal stiffen, but you didn't notice so he sighed in relief.

"all done" you smiled at him.

"thank you" jamal smiled as he planted a kiss on your forehead.

"no problem"

—

after spending the afternoon eating, swimming, and tanning, you all agreed to watch the sunset for a little before going back to the villa. jamal sat next to you, placing your legs on his as vou aave him a small smile.

"did you have fun today?" he asked, softly caressing your thigh.

"i did. did you have fun?" you hugged his arm as you leaned your head on his shoulder.

"i always have fun when you guys are around. when you're around" he was now looking at you.

"me too" you whispered.

"mhm, i'm glad" his hand found your cheek as he stared at your lips. "i have something to confess, but please hear me out before saying anything"

you nodded and jamal took a deep breath.

"i know we agreed on not trying because we didn't want our friendship to be affected, but truth is, it's affected already and it has always been." he caressed your cheek. "it was affected the moment you hugged me and told me i was going to do great before my try outs. it was affected the moment you kissed my cheek and said how proud you were of me when i signed my contract. it was affected the moment we became each other's first, when our bodies became one" his eyes intense.

thank god he told you not to say anything before he was done, because you were speechless, butterflies going crazy in your belly.

"so i want to try. i'm so in love with you it hurts not being able to call you mine just because we're scared of something that may not even happen. so please, give me one chance to prove to you that we can make each other happy" he softly said, his eyes pleading.

"you don't need to prove anything to me, jamal" he looked at you confused.

"you don't need to prove anything to me because i feel the same way. i thought about telling you this, but i was scared you wouldn't want me like that" you blushed.

"i want you in every way, schatz" he cupped your face and gave you a soft and tender kiss.

"ABOUT DAMN TIME!" mika laughed.

"shut up mika" you said at the same time.

"well, now you're officially faline" jamal giggled, placing you on his lap and hugging you tightly.

"i guess so" you kissed his cheek and cuddled up to bambi, your bambi.

[ratguy-nico]

Okey so I saws the last episode of Dunmeshi and I need to talk about the shapeshifters.

I think is pretty obvious which belong to wich, meaning who on the team remembered each one that specific way... if you watched you got me

Im not gonna explain every single one but the last shapeshifters the closest to the real ones.

STARTO

MARCILLE!!!

This one belong 100% to Laios and is awesome, Laios can not remeber the little details about his friens, like Chilichuck scarf or Senshi's helmet so he doesn't remeber Marcille's hair multiple hairstyle so he just get her hair free BUT surprinsingly he does remeber the detail in her spellbook CAUSE HE'S BEEN STUDYING IT that is such a detail and I love it.

But I love more the implication that Laios think highley of the love Marcille feels for Falin, believing at heart that Marcille would do anything to save his sister. This man doesnt know what lesbians are but he certainly not what love is

CHILCHUCK!!!

Okey I'll be honest i have my doubts with this one, but for the sake of the ship let's say this was Senshi XD I'm kidding, this man belong to Senshi.

What is my doubt? Since Senshi and Marcille are from long-lived races they both infantilize Chilchuck and Laios, BUT this copy is not the baby face one, meaning is not the most infantileze one, But most important the tools of this copy were mostly right.

Marcille doesn't give a shit about Chichuck's tools, she doesn't need to or want to but in guess who in fricking EPISODE 2 (so soon in the anime and already a ship) have a whole arc where he observes Chilchuck works up close, developing a deep respect for what Chilchuck does getting familiar with said tools

Implications: Senshi watch this man up close, giving him more attention than any other member of the party, he is the one he rely on the most, but he's predjuice are strong and he cannot help thinking of him as a cute little child SICK and not in a good way thats you future husband >:0

y por ultimo pero no menos importante

SENSHI!!!!

GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY ejem this is from Chilchuck and I live for it

What can I say that you dont already know?

not-Senshi being the handsome one

Chilchuck inmediatly noticing the lack of the helmet detail in the Laios copy

the fact that when confronted with the fact that not-Senshi is more handsome than the real one (which rude, Marcille we can not all be lesbians like you >:0) he's just like "No, Senshi has always been handsome" re ofendido XD

y OJITO Laios said cool, Chilchuck just said Senshi has always been like that LIKE WHAT? HANDSOME? YEAH WE KNOW!

(though this was also a very gay moment for Laios)

LOOK HOW IS THE REAL CHILCHUCK WHO'S MORE RILED UP BY HANDSOME SENSHI

and the gratuitous beef to my man wtf what do you mean dumb looking one? XD no puedo es demasiado XD

This episode was too much fun the whole characters interaction just got me.

The memes the gifs LAIOS BARKING DOG LAIOS IS REAL

and ... the way I developed an instant crush on Itsuzumi here:

NOTE I don't actually have a crush on Izutsumi, I know her from the manga and she is pretty much a cat, which cute, but ... not my type lets just say that.

But in this shot they are just my tipe of guy, haven't been touch for a single ray of sun on their, have never eat a proper meal, doesn't even register the concept and doesn't know what you mean by wash hair? what is that some kinda of joke?

[equiz923]

Please don’t crucify me for this, but I really do not like how dunmeshi ended. Spoilers for the ending of the manga under the cut (obv this is all my opinion but if you have a diff one and you wanna chat im v open to that)

Ending things is hard, ending great stories is even harder but I just finished rereading the manga in full and it makes it so apparent how rushed the ending feels.

With Laios specifically, him running a kingdom Does Not make sense. It feels too storybook ending. ESPECIALLY with what the winged lion showed him during his dream- the idyllic world where he runs a monster kingdom but figures it all out. I thought that this was kind of clear with how dream falin had to shoo him away from his actual duties to make the idea more palatable. It was a clear manipulation by the winged lion to try make it something Laios would actively want to do, an appeal to his greater sense of morality to try convince him that he was the good guy, especially because we all know he just deep down wanted to be a super epic monster.

With this in mind, the manga actually ending with him running the kingdom is insane. We as an audience have already found out and understood that he actually does not want to do that shit, and that there is no way that the kingdom would prosper under him. I personally really don’t like the way that the winged lion’s curse is pretty much thrown in as a joke on the final page, because the idea is really really interesting from a character perspective. From what we know of Laios, would he not clearly break at some point and try to chase after the monsters? Go insane? Both? Also him always being hungry is such a genuinely cool idea that gets another throwaway line, that has such interesting character implications. It is fine to add that as a footnote at the end, but it’s not treated with the gravity it should have.

Another character I think really got rushed toward the end is Marcille. Her character resolution of after the banquet being okay with Falin’s death is crazy. Her calling her time with the winged lion a tantrum is insane. Her extending of others life may be something that she now sees the consequences of, but there is not payoff for that realisation. We do not see it happen, it apparently occurs offscreen.

There’s a lotta other little things that feel off to me but those are my two main examples. I found in reading it again there were times that the story didn’t show or explain things properly (Kabru in magic handcuffs is something I only found out about when he broke them, I genuinely cannot find where itsumi found that doll of Yadd). You can make the argument that’s a reading comprehension error on my end, that’s fine but there were enough small things that I don’t think I’m the only one that missed small half panel cues. Chekov’s gun only works if you let the audience actually see and note the gun.

Again, please don’t take this as a hate rant, I genuinely love dunmeshi. It’s a really good story. But the best stories are the ones that need to be critiqued. The basic happy ending just does not fit at all, to the point that it feels completely wrong.

Idk, hi if you actually read this whole thing, you’re a legend. Please tell me your opinions id love to hear them

[fumifooms]

Marchil crumbs part 6

Part 1 - Part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 7

Wake up broskis Adventurer’s Bible 2 is dropping soon

Love getting the confirmation that she specifically was the one to invite him and his fam to the dinner in the "Thank you for reading!" page… Love that it kinda confirms that her and Senshi greeting them first is them being like "Uh thanks for the invite" "Thanks for coming!!". Love that canon is the best marchil factory

Laios haterism is a deep bond not easily forgotten… I love that even post-canon they tend to stick to each other in groups and go in a corner together like old women ready to gossip and whisper meanly.

Also oh hey Marcille got her bangs cut even… Sad, that’s invalidating my post-canon appearance take for her but y’know what cute, she doesn’t style them at all anymore too… WAIT. She doesn’t style her hair anymore… She leaves it undone and flowing… As per his succubi she’s closer to his ideal omggggg no way… At the beginning of the comic she even just wears a headband. She seems to just wear way simpler hairstyles in general in the other comics too.

Oh and by the way her braids in post-canon are messy… Which, y’all know I hc who does her hair for her always changes and isn’t always the same, but the braid looks like the one Chilchuck made for her, so <;3 Here are some more pics about it/why it’s plausible

He’s such a hater, Falin came late too why’s he singling her out

Speaking of Falin, Marcille so casually touching Chil to chide him about a snide remark he made about Falin (aka the person she would go to war for, and he only gets a gentle chiding? Aw)

Already during the dragon arc there’s some progress from this

I love how the two pics below during the Thistle’s house arc show how they breached the gap in their different, their respective prejudice against the other. So funny that the time Marcille goes "yeah elves kinda suck" is at the worst possible timing lmao, meanwhile Chil is ready to vehemently defend magic use against someone (bc he doesn’t want to go to prison rip). With the page before that panel where he imagines the western elves all evil and all too, it’s really nice to note how big the gap between them was at first with the historical horrors the elves have committed, and what a strong bond they’ve made through it all anyways.

Ok time to address what I hinted at last part and in another post but I think the anime frames this scene a lil different which I think is funny. In the manga Chilchuck walks to her bedside to call out to her to wake her up close, but in the anime he sort of just speaks in her direction. So Marcille heard "Hey, clumsy-head.” and knew it was targeted at her, she went like oh someone is calling me I need to wake up lmfaoo? Listen that’s good for the ship, she woke up because it was his voice and insults like "clumsy" and "dummy" are practically his pet names for her, and it’s also neat how she was the one he chose to call out to in the first place- Why? If it’s bed placement, Laios was on his other side, is it because some need rest more than others? Or perhaps, because he finds interacting with her to be the easiest and he knows she won’t make a big deal out of it?

Speaking of making a big deal out of things. Ok so first of all, during the cockatrice chapter, he’s funny. Staring at his petrified party member like 😬 And look at his little relieved sigh when she gets revived! Standing in the corner and doesn’t care for celebrating, but he cares nonetheless.

And then look… He worked hard to get Marcille un-petrified again too, gathering medicinal herbs even with the risks! And in the end, he wants to take credit for what revived her hehe.

For once she’s the one who gets to tease him lol.

I want to know how the group whispering strategizing went. Chil for sure was part of the "If we tell her she’ll look cute she’ll take the bait" convo. Funny that in the end he doesn’t even praise her, I think he’s the one talking about her frog-like silhouette… Edit: EPSODE 10 IS OUT GUESS WHAAT Laios is the one saying the frog silhouette is fun (should have seen it coming) Chilchuck is the one saying "that looks great on you"/"very cute" depending on the translation, the line delivery in the eng dub at least sounds shaky, sounds like hesitance.

You know I never put this in a marchil comp/post even tho it’s a page with a lot to say, and I only realized recently why it made me so uneasy/conflicted. Because by all means "Our magician successfully stood against the mad magician" is flattering, but Chilchuck’s point in this page is that he’s worried about how her life is gonna go, which ties into his worry for others about the law, their jobs, the way Puckpatti is carefree, etc. In this chapter he suppresses his worry and care with anger, but the point still remains that he’s worried for her and her professional future and thus like, her general life direction and all. Sigh anyways more analysis coming on this topic at some point

Looking out for her:

Keeping each other in check. Always gets to me how much she listens to him when the topic’s serious

Love how this is how the party naturally divides. Sigh Chil, Marcille & Izu are so family shaped…

Ep 7 is out and was fun! Not many marchil moments though. This one was notable though lol, never caught it while reading. Truly they are comrades in fear, hide behind each other when something unpleasant is happening. They would risk their life for each other but also they would throw each other under a bus and use as a meat shield if necessary /hj

Anime director doodle! Them against the world…

Get yourself a man who looks at you like this after you did dark magic and caught him shit-talking.

See you soon! With the anime and the new adventurer’s bible I have no doubt that I’ll find more to share with them shipping goggled eyes o’ mine in no time, And if you follow these as they come up, go back to look at the end of the last part in case you missed the crumbs I edited in up until it was completed!

30 pics have been reached in this part… See u later gators

Part 7 here

[szalnyshko]

(•Д•), Dunmeshi is over taking me!! [spoilers ahead!]

So, I’ve already finished the manga and I’m now waiting for the new episode but during the gap I’ve been consuming fandom content, as per use. Now, the character that I’ve been consuming the most fandom content is Laios cause he’s so jdjdjsjs, and this idea has been fluttering round my head because I’ve only seen THREE actual posts/works about this. Two being fics and one being a tumblr post.

The specific idea is a sibling swap, Falin and Laios, and I’m suffering from lack of content from it!! Only two fics and one tumblr post [ТдТ] One of the fics is Laios and making his desire to be to swap with Falin, and what he thinks will happen. The other is Falin going through the dungeon to save Laios and it’s specific the episode that’s coming out this Thursday, so chapter 27/28 in manga I think.

Like this concept really gets me going cause it changed the whole dynamic of how things would play out. Laios being there meant they met Senshi because Laios was interested in eating monsters. Falin, although she does have an interest, would not have that strong of an interest in eating monsters. I also feel she may not realise it’s hunger that caused them to fail because she was focused on protecting her brother and the party, literally letting herself get eaten to save her brother. She also would not have intimate knowledge of monsters so the party may have a harder time killing monsters.

I think Marcille and Chilchuck would still be in the party. Marcille doesn’t seem to have a deep connection with Laios at the start, with her clashing with Laios and his monster eating habits. Plus the prior encounter where she wanted to kill him for taking Falin away from magic school. This bond deepens between them as they go down the dungeon and she obviously cares for the rest of the party, feeling betrayed that Namari and Shuro [I keep forget your actual name] left. But I feel if it were Lauos to get eaten she wouldn’t be as motivated as she is with Falin [Lesbian icon!] because she doesn’t get to connect with him. This then brings into question, would she revive Laios and risk being jailed by the elves?

She probably would because it’s Falin who asked but there would be more hesitation. Especially with Chilchuck who is against it no matter what.

Talking about Chilchuck, I feel he would stay out of obligation. The same reason he stayed with Laios originally. I think his dynamic wouldn’t change that much but maybe he’d see Falin and Marcill closer to his daughters [?] or maybe he’d have a gripe cause of their relationship as we already know he doesn’t do inter party relationships.

Namari would still leave but I think Shuro would be more hesitant, his love for Falin possibly making him stay for a little bit.

Of course we have the problem with money and food but I think Falin has enough people skills to gather some things. But, because she lived with Laios for some time and heard about his monster fantasies, maybe she’d consider eating monsters. I feel people would be more likely to listen to her rather than Laios [sorry buddy] but still question it. However, Shuro did have a whole crew so maybe he’d help with that and we’d have a whole different crew dynamic.

Talking about that, I wonder how Kabru and his party would interact with Falin’s party. How’d the Namari reunion go? What would Falin’s desire be? How would the finale fight be? Would Laios have a cool chimera bod like Falin?

So many questions for my tiny brain….

[zhongster]

I saw your post about starting dungeon meshi and I totally agree that it has SO MUCH potential for food related kinks so I wanted to ask if you have any headcanons? Especially for the main characters?

I absolutely do dearest, I also included Toshiro despite him not being part of the main cast because he’s my personal favorite character <3

THIS IS KINK CONTENT, DNI IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT

Laios:

He’s a little stupid (affectionately) so he tends to eat things that he very much shouldn’t with concerning regularity

Because of this he’s no stranger to indigestion of all levels of intensity

His burps are pretty big

Probably the loudest in the group, honestly

He and Falin were definitely raised with manners considering who their parents are so he DOES know how to mind his manners he just doesn’t see the point in being uptight about it when it’s just people he considers his close friends

Gets all excited when he lets out a really good one like “Guys did you hear that?! :D”

Lowkey loves when he can taste the last thing he ate when he burps

“It’s like I get to eat it again!”

Marcille and Toshiro think he’s absolutely vile for that

His burps are really deep and loud but pretty short

He doesn’t usually get more than one in a row unless he’s particularly bloated

Here’s a video reference

Marcille:

High pitched burps

Pretty long ones too

She gets so embarrassed if they manage to slip out when she’s with the others

Unfortunately for her she often has to consume things in pretty rapid succession when she’s trying to replenish her mana

This’ll usually lead to pretty intense burping fits that she has little to no control over

Long drawn out burps just force their way out of her as she hides behind her hands

Here’s a video example

Senshi:

I feel like it just feels right to say he has incredibly deep, bassy belches

He’s literally a dwarf man idk

Tries his best to be polite about it but he really doesn’t trip if he lets one out

Will typically try to burp into his fist and face away from anyone he might be with

He tries to be a gentleman 😫

Oddly enough he doesn’t actually burp very often

He has a stomach of steel (aside from motion sickness lmao) so nothing he eats really upsets his stomach at all like some of the others

Here’s a video example

Chilchuck:

Legitimately the CEO of idgaf

Burps whenever he feels like he needs to

Won’t burp on command because he thinks it’s juvenile but absolutely will not hold a burp in unless it’s for stealth reasons

He doesn’t care if people judge him

The only time he burps on purpose is if he’d already burped naturally and someone told him to excuse himself

His immediate response is to flip said person off and let out an even louder belch

Luckily for him most of his companions really don’t trip if he burps (probably only Toshiro)

Here’s a video reference

Falin:

Falin’s burps are actually surprisingly bassy

Probably bassier than her brothers

Which serve as a pretty stark contrast to how soft spoken she is

It’s a bit of a surprise for people the first time they hear her burp because it seems a bit unlikely that such a loud sound could come from her

I do think she tends to get a bit embarrassed if they slip out in front of anyone that isn’t either Laios or Marcille

She tries really hard not to be rude and gross people out and she knows that some people in their company don’t really like it when others burp around them

Here’s a video reference

Toshiro:

Out of all the characters he’s the one that’s most likely to get horrifically embarrassed if he accidentally burps in front of someone else

Especially since he’ll actively scold any of the others for burping out loud so he feels particularly awful when he can’t hold one back

It’s even more rare to hear him burp than Senshi but it has been known to happen on occasion

Especially since I feel like he’s definitely the type to have a bit of a sensitive stomach

Similar to Marcille, when something upsets his stomach there really isn’t much he can do to stop the burping fit he knows is coming

He typically tries to hide from everyone when this happens but his burps are loud enough that they can usually hear anyway

They’re also extremely long so his brain has time to realize he’s fully belching in front of another person before it’s even ended

Has never once freely burped in front of another person, they’re always muffled behind his hands, his closed mouth, or both at once

Whenever he burps in front of another person he has to apologize 8000X before he can move on

Laios has been known to compliment his burps whenever he’s around to hear them which Toshiro absolutely HATES

Here’s a video reference

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 9 Part 2

Welcome back! Getting into the real meat of the volume now.

This episode sponsored by Sir Not Appearing in this Season.

Curious that they put this chart on the chapter titled "The Winged Lion." Hmmm. I'm sure it means nothing.

This is just, a really funny visual.

I like how this fake Marcille looks just like the fake Marcille created by the shapeshifter. This is just how Laios sees her, newly acquired bangs be damned.

Why would Senshi be upset? Anyway, I suspect the Succubi's thought process was something like, okay, let's grab his wildest sexual fantasy. What? He doesn't have any? Okay, how about a family member? No, he hates his parents, and he's too smart to fall for a fake Falin. Ummm... I guess I'll become his closest friend and hope for the best?

But seriously, how advanced is this telepathy? Not only does it manage to use Laios' monster facts to free itself, but it's able to pick up on his much more complex, deep-set desires. Oh, also I guess this dispels my musing about succubi only shapeshifting occasionally. This one does it again right away.

It's honestly really sweet how both times he's being offered his deepest desire, he only goes for it as long as his friends are safe.

As opposed to my own expensive tricks.

In Laios' dream, Marcille and Falin are acting like an old married couple. That's adorable. And more evidence that Laios doesn't have a crush on Marcille.

I love how this assumption is solely based on what he heard in chapter 17. Marcille's been studying this stuff. Of course she'd be good at it! Then when Marcille actually gets the chance to control a dungeon, it's a complete disaster.

Yeah, I'm calling bull. If that was all you were, why did Thistle lock you away? Honestly, it's really funny how just two chapters later, we'll learn exactly how full of shit this guy really is.

Finally, something Laios thinks is gross.

This is poignant and all, but it's undercut a little when we learn that elf cake is kinda dogshit.

Why does this happen? Did Cithis hit him with something when I didn't notice? Or does the lack of desires make Mithrun oddly boring?

Kabru's people fixation is so funny. He's known Mithrun for like an hour, and the fake is already indistinguishable. Oh! Maybe that's why he's uninterested. He's already gleaned everything he can from a surface level.

Please don't eat that. You don't know where it's been.

Kabru's nightmare is just beginning.

Yeah, don't forget. Until Senshi showed up, Laios was kinda bad at cooking monsters. Enthusiastic, but bad.

Of course he can. Bold of you to assume he will.

Lol, evil Laios here doesn't even plan to attack humans or anything.

Wishes are always bad news. Seriously, I'm struggling to think of a story where wishes have no strings attached.

What do you know. He IS capable of emoting.

We'll look at Mithrun's tragic backstory next time!

[flarebean]

toshiro ramble

might do a laios ramble some other time

they're both doing their best :(

listen toshiro might not be down bad for falin the way marcille totally is but there's still a love there ok

guy that's lived with the expectations and structures of shit all his life is of course incredibly worried about someone he's decided he cares deeply about getting struck down by expectations and structures! do you expect the regular man on the street to immediately think 'ah, yeah, black magic. that's reasonable'?? it's been stigmatized already! black magic yo! chilchuck is like is she a dark elf..? but chilchuck also like, doesn't really quibble because he lost the idgaf war.

look, toshiro flinches at it! that's the ingrained response! but when he really thinks about it, forced to by kabru, he too admits that. he'd probably have done it too. if he'd thought of it. you know?

(he probably wouldn't have thought of it. this is a choice uniquely available to marcille, Researcher of Ancient Magic. i bet his exhausted ass hadn't been able to consider what could be done beyond slaying the dragon. hey, even the main party didn't really discuss beyond slaying the dragon and hoping falin wasn't digested. they barely even got around to discussing slaying the dragon until they reached the area??)

toshiro's methods may not be stellar but his heart is in it! watch him rush off not even waiting for the whole party to wake- the whole party that just ended their deep dungeon dive in a catastrophic fight, hungry, hurt, and with no supplies, mind you, it's very possible they do not go back into the dungeon for a long while to restock and such; laios also thought about dropping marcille and chilchuck to sell their gear- to finally cave to begging for his people (who have been tailing him, ignored) for help! watch him stagger through the dungeon without eating or sleeping properly! in another world, and another story, this kind of haggard uncaring for your own state is a trope unto itself! (doomed to failure, of course. even in those other stories usually this makes things way worse.)

the point is, toshiro makes mistakes. toshiro has a huge mismatch in communication needs with laios, and could stand to improve communicating his thoughts and feelings in general. toshiro is a human being with flaws. but. you can't fault toshiro for not trying, or not caring, okay? he's doing his best. may not be ideal. people don't make the best choices in bad conditions.

and then at the end, he accepts falin's answer with grace.

that's the best thing you can do for someone you care about in that situation, right? confess, give time if needed, accept answer?

even if you detect that 'oh I'll think about it' probably means no, isn't it also impolite to talk over them and go 'ok i get it. no then' to their face? no! you let people reply with their own thoughts! and privately, wouldn't you hope for a little uncertainty, despite knowing the likelihood is low?

[monstertidbits]

What do you think about the torden siblings and their parents?

haha nonnie did you know i think abt them all the time...

the sibs' relationships with their parents make me so sad and angry. it's obvious that laios is still incredibly hurt by their actions towards both him and falin- esp falin. she was the person who understood him best, the one who never left his side (even when he wanted her to, lol), and at the end, the only one who still believed in him and supported his dreams. they were the ones who took her away from him. i already guessed they sent her to the magic academy in order to get rid of her instead of "helping her" and then it got confirmed in the world guide like damn i knew they were trash but now i know they are trash! id bet they didn't even let laios know abt this before she had already left and he had nothing to do about it. but my own hcs aside; laios talks abt how his father never... truly communicated with him. at this point in life, he barely knows the man who raised him, and he feels such deep resentment bc of that. it's actually surprising bc we know laios- he's openly kind, trusting, supportive and apppreciative of the people around him, a man who can't lie and is very honest and direct in his intentions. he's really nothing like the father he describes, a cold man who keeps to himself to the point his own son can't comprehend him, and he doesn't want to be.

also do you sometimes think abt how laios' love for monsters and his wish to travel far away were deepened by how bad his home life was? it was a place he didn't belong because the people around him didn't want to understand and accept him, not even his own parents. they suffocated him, they let him know he will amount to nothing, and they couldn't even begin to accept the person he loved most- his own little sister. there was nothing for him there after she left. and falin... god... her eating all alone in her own home every single day, every single meal... she was lonely and neglected long before she left the village, and there's no way she didn't feel the animosity at her own home. i think she's the kind of child to suck it up and try to make things right and "behave" in order to have her happy little family again, but laios leaving destroyed the little of that life she still had... she was just a child who knew nothing of the world but her own parents feared her. their mother being described as "mentally frail" in the world guide too... like cmon... i'm sure she did NOT take her child being able to see and speak to ghosts very well. and it's easier to get rid of this weird, creepy little girl instead of confronting the other villagers and protecting their daughter and son. i guess being the village chief was more important than being a good parent...

i also think her being unable to make any friends at the academy must be connected to all this as well... both of them didn't manage to fit in school and had to endure such loneliness bc of that and their separation. at least falin met marcille, but laios never had that sort of friend in his life...

despite saying all this, i do understand that they are people living in a small, conservative village. they may think they did their best at the time, but at the end they haven't seen their children in years because of that... i hope they at least regret it, somewhat. i think laios not being able to forgive them for that is partially related to him not being able to forgive himself for leaving falin in the first place... and if he's so hard on his 12 years old self, how could he possibly find it in himself to forgive the grown adults who failed her?

[lovingmyselfcore]

this is me trying in 3 acts

This is the longest fic I’ve ever written and published! This has been huge in my brain and now that it’s done I’m really proud of it :)

Act 1 is Asterin after her baby. Act 2 is Morrigan in Hewn City. Act 3 is both in mismatched scenes as they heal etc.

And shoutout to @the-love-yourself-journal who I very randomly updated on wordcounts and everything when I’ve been writing this

Act I; Asterin Blackbeak

I've been having a hard time adjusting

I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting

"You slept with a human man, you whore," She spat, "And you couldn't even give birth correctly."

"What?" The world around Asterin was hazy, and all she could feel was the relief of having her child out of her, but also fear for that same reason.

"You are pathetic,"

"What happened to my baby?" 

"He was dead once he was born." A small witch Asterin didn't know murmured to her. Asterin felt her heart shatter.

"No, no, it cannot be true," She could barely get her words out, she choked over her sobs and words, like the pieces of her heart had lodged in her lungs. 

If it was even possible, the world went even darker and hazier.

All she remembered after that was the smell of burning flesh and the Matron Blackbeak spitting insults at her, "Whore, filthy, broken, worthless,

Unclean.”

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back

I have a lot of regrets about that

"Asterin," Manon was staring at her with narrowed eyes. "Where did your mind go? I need you sharp."

Asterin apologized, trying her hardest to act like nothing was wrong. They all fell for it, and in a way, she hated them for it. She wanted to scream.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The Thirteen were camped out in a mountain on a mission from Manon's grandmother. They had to rise before dawn, so the other witches had retired early. Asterin, however, laid awake, thoughts and nightmares plaguing all her attempts at rest.

Nobody knew.

Nobody knew.

Nobody knew but Asterin and the Matron. Since what happened that witch that had broken the news was nowhere to be found. The Matron had probably disposed of the loose end.

Asterin pushed herself into an upright sitting position, looking around at the other witches, all asleep.

She had to be careful, they were trained to wake at a disturbance that could be antagonistic, so she had to maneuver carefully, taking her broom with her.

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout

Could've followed my fears all the way down

She wasn't sure how long she flew, but it wasn't very long.

She tossed her broom to the side and jogged up to the cliffside, falling to her knees.

Only a single tear escaped.

She looked over the side. It was quite a distance, meaning if she fell, it would likely be the end for Asterin Blackbeak.

At the bottom, she saw a figure walk out of the woods. Her shoulders tightened until she saw her hunter walking towards her cliff. He cradled a child carefully in his arms. They stopped directly under her. She couldn't hear him, but somehow she knew what he was saying.

"Come on, please. We miss you. We need you."

She leaned over the edge even farther, but she paused.

"Asterin!" She turned to find the source of the yell and saw Manon pushing her way through the crowd. Manon threw her arms around Asterin and buried her face in her neck. "Your grandmother?" Asterin asked softly, patting her cousin's back. 

She felt Manon nod and led the girl into a sitting position on the floor.

She sniffed, smelling alcohol.

"So that's why you're being so physically affectionate," Asterin mumbled to herself, running her hands through Manon's hair.

When Manon's breathing deepened, Asterin lifted her into a nearby cot, knowing that Manon would tell her what happened with her grandmother if she wanted to.

~~~

“Hey, Asterin,” Faline and Fallon were both grinning at her, teeth sharp. Asterin was immediately on edge. The Demon Twins never smiled unless they were about to cause extreme bloodshed.

“Yes?” She asked carefully, never taking her eyes off of them. She had no idea what they were doing and what they had planned.

“Come with us,” Faline said, her voice like a silk noose.

“Why?”

“We noticed you’ve been off lately,” Fallon said, resting her hands on her hips where she knew knives were concealed.

“Have some fun with us!” Faline was at her shoulder now, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

Fallon was at her other shoulder, “We’re going to take our brooms and some knives,” She produced one, twirling it expertly in her hands before flipping it, handing it hilt-first to Asterin.

“And attack some people!” Faline finished with what sounded like a disturbing giggle.

Asterin took the knife warily and took a deep breath looking at both of them.

This was what they knew, she realized, they didn’t know what was wrong but 

this was their way to fix it and she felt a piece of her heart warm.

“Why not?” Asterin conceded.

The twins had glee in their eyes that Asterin knew would never come out in any form of honest laughter, but she was okay with that. She loved these demonic weirdos.

~~~~~~~~~

Ghislaine was sitting in a small corner of the room. The fireplace was crackling next to her and she sat on the floor like it was a throne. Her back was straight, her feet tucked under her as she balanced a book precariously on her lap while she took a sip from a mug.

“Is that tea?” Asterin asked, knowing full well it wasn’t.

Ghislaine just grinned, her lips too red to be simple paint.

“Who’s?” She asked, keeping an eye on Ghislaine’s book - which looked ready to tumble into the fire.

Ghislaine shrugged, “I did not ask his name.”

Asterin nodded and the pair lapsed into silence. Ghislaine was just about to continue reading when Asterin broke the stillness.

“This is going to sound,” She hesitated. “Childish, perhaps. But, will you read me a story?”

Ghislaine stared at her, only showing a single flash of surprise. “Why?”

“It’s too quiet,” Asterin mumbled, gesturing to the window. The night was still and quiet, the hum of insects and birds had ended hours ago. Normally, Asterin fell asleep next to her window, comforted by the sounds of a never-ending storm, but not tonight. “I can’t fall asleep.”

Ghislaine was silent for long enough for a flush of humiliation to spread across Asterin’s cheeks, but finally, she gestured to the small cot in the corner of her room.

Asterin laid down wearily, but already her mind had begun settling.

Ghislaine gently brushed her hair back in an uncommon motherly gesture.

She curled up on the floor by Asterin and started reading her book. It was nothing Asterin understood but she had soon been soothed enough that her eyes grew too heavy to ignore.

Somehow, she knew Ghislaine would never share what happened that night unless Asterin allowed it. 

Never.

~~~~~ 

Vesta was the witch Asterin was closest to, aside from Manon. They loved to wreak havoc together.

She would always match Asterin’s energy. If Asterin was quieter, more tired then they wouldn’t go out for as long as they normally would, if Vesta requested they go out at all.

If Asterin was ever hesitant, Vesta would never force her to do anything or question why she was hesitant.

On the other end of the spectrum, if Asterin was aggressive. If she wanted blood instead of harmless pranks on the coven, Vesta would oblige her and they would hunt down any man hurting anyone. And then they would rip him apart.

She wouldn’t question when Asterin flinched at the sight of a mother and her child, and then that would lead to a particularly bloody evening for them.

~~~~ 

Briar and Edda never talked to her but on days they suspected she wasn’t well they wouldn’t leap out at her in the way they would with everyone else. The two of them, witches who took their pleasure in scaring the others, would back off 

Asterin if they observed her and felt that they should.

They would distract the others while Asterin snuck off to fly and cool down, or when Asterin’s breathing became irregular and she needed the attention taken away from her.

They’d never mention when she woke suddenly in the night and escaped through the shadows when they were on watch.

They never brought it up, and she loved them all the more for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Imogen and Linnea were never as close with Asterin but, same as the others they never questioned her on her weird behavior. They would often back her up in her constant struggle against Matron Blackbeak.

If they were at an encampment and either of them were on watch they would allow Asterin to take off into the night on her broom.

None of them would question her if they assumed it would make her uncomfortable. They helped her if they could, all of them.

She didn’t deserve their loyalty. Their love.

She didn’t deserve them.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Those women don't even know what your grandmother's done to you," She 

heard her hunter's voice in her head again.

She looked down at them and let out a dry sob, "I'm sorry my loves but I'll join you eventually. Manon and the thirteen need me now." 

She could almost see her hunter’s face. His broken expression, his mouth tight as if to stop himself from asking her one final time to join them. If it was really him, which Asterin doubted. She knew he understood. He didn’t like it. 

But he understood she had to leave. She would see them again, someday.

Her voice was heavy and she was just tempted to leap off the cliff and not give it a second thought, but her coven's faces just kept appearing in front of her.

So, with heavy limbs and tears streaking down her face, she left her hunter and child once again.

~~~~~~~~~

And maybe I don't quite know what to say

But I'm here in your doorway

She jumped off her broom before her feet touched the ground, it was already dawn and she saw the thirteen spread out across the mountain, but not too far, apparently searching for her.

Vesta saw her first, relief apparent on her face, and she called out to the others.

Asterin clapped Vesta's hand and pulled each other close until they were touching foreheads. The rest of the thirteen did this with Asterin too, aside from Manon, who was standing with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Where were you." Her voice was gruff.

Asterin bowed her head, "I apologize,"

Although it wasn't an explanation Manon apparently thought it was good enough because she surged forward, pulling Asterin into an uncommon hug.

"Whatever you did, I hope you're okay now," Manon whispered.

I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying

Asterin's heart was still fractured, but she hoped that slowly she could heal, maybe not completely. Never completely. But enough.

Asterin pulled away, slinging one arm across Manon's shoulder, the other over Vesta. The others followed suit.

"We are the Thirteen, from now until the Darkness claims us," Asterin said, the echoes of the others not far behind.

She'd lost a family. But she wouldn't forget the one she still had.

I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying

Act II; Morrigan

They told me all of my cages were mental

"I just want you to be happy, sweetheart!"

"No! No, you don't! You want me to get married and have children and never do anything other than care for my kids! I want to be someone!"

"You have so much potential!"

"Yes, I do. I could be a legendary warrior, I could live my life the way I want to. But all you want is for me to rear children."

“I know you know that I am more powerful than anybody in this family.” Mor snarled at her mother. “I know it.”

Her mother raised her chin, her eyes going hard. A stark contrast to the previous desperate passion.

“You’re still a virgin. And you’re so powerful. It’s going to be very valuable for this family when your father and I find you a powerful suitor.”

Mor went silent, her mouth slightly gaped. “No. No. NO!”

Her mother didn’t flinch, in fact, she rolled her eyes. “Sit down, Morrigan. This is your duty.” When Mor didn’t sit her mother put her hands on her shoulders, digging her nails in enough to draw blood, and forced her to sit at the vanity. 

Her mother grabbed her brush and roughly pulled through Mor’s hair. “You will make us proud, Morrigan. You will not be a disgrace.”

So I got wasted like all my potential

Mor knew she needed to get out but she couldn't. She couldn't and she hated it. She hated herself. She hated her father. She hated her mother. She hated the damn Court of Nightmares. 

She curled into herself on her bed, fighting tears. They all wanted so much from her. So much that she couldn't give them. She couldn't wear the dresses she wanted, lest she tempts any of the men that aren't her husband. 

Her breath came out in short gasps. She needed to be numb. She couldn’t do this alone.

She hunched over and let herself become smoke and shadow.

There was a party going on in the main room, everyone was drunk or high or otherwise distracted. 

Mor allowed herself a small smile as she swiped a bottle of some of the strongest liquor she knew her father had. She winnowed back to her room and allowed herself a one-woman party, stripping down to her underwear. Destroying everything she could get away with, slamming her fists into the mirror. Tearing apart the dresses her mother forced her to wear. Throwing things against the wall hard enough they broke.

Needless to say, she downed the bottle quickly.

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad

I have a lot of regrets about that

“It’s your seventeenth birthday,” Her mother said, brushing her hair into an intricate style. Her mother wasn’t looking at her but Mor was staring at her in the mirror. “Is there anything you want to do to celebrate?”

“No.” She said, her voice stiff and shoulders tense.

Her mother sighed and a flash of pain crossed her face before setting down the brush.

“Well. I’ll see you for dinner then.”

Mor nodded.

The night of her seventeenth birthday was the same as her other nights. 

Sneak a bottle, strip down, destroy everything possible. Nothing different, the same mind-numbing act that made her believe, for only a short time, that she had some kind of control over life.

Only when she would wake up, would she remember she didn’t.

A few days later she jolted awake in her bed, sharp pains in her lower abdomen. She launched herself off the bed to see a small puddle of blood where she’d been laying.

A single trickle of blood made its way out from beneath her nightgown and down her leg, hitting the floor with deafening clarity.

“Oh, mother save me,” She whispered.

Suddenly the mountain seemed to shake, Mor lunged for her bed, gripping the frame as terrible convulsions wracked through her body. The world flashed white then went still as if nothing had happened, but Mor knew the truth.

Her true power had been awakened with such intensity the mountain shook.

The realization of what this all meant washed over her like cold water, dispiriting the excitement of holding such intense power.

“Oh, cauldron.” Tears streaked across her face. “I’ve bled.”

She sunk to her knees and buried her face in her hands. “I can get pregnant.”

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here

She stared at her hands. They were starting to tremble. She could see the tips of her fingers shaking.

“Eris Vanserra, he’s the oldest son of the Autumn Court. He’s going to be a wonderful investment for this family. Just like you will be for him.”

The rest of her fingers.

“You’re so powerful, Morrigan. And you are pure. You will be the perfect wife. Especially if before we hand you over that attitude of yours is fixed.”

Her palms and wrists.

“How long?” She heard herself ask. She was seated at the table, her food uneaten in front of her. Her hands rested in her lap. Modest as ever dress. 

Hair styled exactly like her mother always styled it.

It started as a normal dinner until her father had told her they’d found a man with the highest price to offer for her.

It had been done. She’d been sold.

“Soon, Morrigan, soon.”

She couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t. Mother above.

Eris Vanserra!

Mother above.

Her breathing came out in choked gasps, her chest was tight.

“With a few extra lessons,” Her mother said, imperious to her plight. “I can make into the perfect wife.”

“Do you know how many kids the lady of autumn had?” Mor asked softly. Her parents didn’t respond. Good. It was rhetorical. “Too many.”

“Too many,” She whispered to herself, rocking back and forth in her stiff, stone chair.

“You’re always so concerned about the children.” Her father spat. “It’s an honor to bear a High Lord’s child.”

“He might not even become High Lord.” Mor spat back.

Her father shoved away from the table and strode over to where she was. She braced herself seconds before his hand collided with her cheek.

He didn’t say anything else to her, just stood there, breathing heavily.

“Start those extra lessons immediately.” He snarled at her mother.

“Of course,” She said quietly.

Mor looked back at her hands.

Pourin' out my heart to a stranger

But I didn't pour the whiskey

“Mor?” Her cousin knocked on her bedroom door.

She threw it open and leaped into her arms. He gripped the doorframe to not fall over, wrapping his arms around her. 

“Are you ready to go?” He asked softly.

She made an affirmative noise. She pulled away just enough to grab a bag with all she needed while they were in the mountains.

He wrapped an arm around her again and winnowed to the mountains.

“Thank you,” She whispered to the smoke. She didn’t think he would hear her but his arm tightened around her.

~~~

“Cass, Mor,”

Mor looked up at her cousin, her aunt, and Azriel next to him.

“It’s time for us to leave. Watch her, alright?” Rhys said to Cass, his face full of mock-seriousness.

Her aunt wrapped her arms around her and Mor felt herself melt. Rhys’ mom had always been more of a mother to Mor than her own was.

“You be careful.” Her aunt pulled away and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

The full meaning of that statement wasn’t lost on Mor.

“I’m trying my best,” She murmured back. Her aunt brought her in for another hug.

“I know, sweetheart. I know. You’re so strong. Keep fighting, okay? Always keep fighting.”

Rhys hugged her next and kissed the top of her head. “See you later, oh cousin of mine.” Mor laughed.

Azriel didn’t hug her, but he nodded in her direction and she smiled back. “All three of you come back alive, okay?”

When they were gone, Cass sat back down. “So,”

Mor sat next to him and raised her eyebrows. “What do you do for fun around here?”

A few hours later they were both sprawled haphazardly on the couch. He’d suggested they drink but she’d turned him down. Somewhere in her mind she already knew where this was going to end.

Mor was ranting to him about her problems with Eris, her father, her mother, and the entire court. And, in response, he was talking to her about what had happened to him to lead him to Az and Rhys.

When they had lapsed into silence a thought came up with Mor and she didn’t think it through before she spoke. “What if there was a way for me to escape being married to Eris?”

Cassian looked at her, intrigued.

“The only thing he wants-they want-that I have control over is my virginity.”

Understanding started to dawn in his eyes, “Morrigan, I’m not sure if-”

“Please, Cassian. Please.” Her voice was desperate now.

He looked at her. “You are just going to find someone else if I say no, aren’t you.”

She didn’t respond and he sighed.

“Well?” She asked finally.

“Come here.” He responded and she smiled, moving across the couch until she was on his lap. 

He took her face in his hands, keeping her a distance from his face. “You’re completely sure about this.”

“Neither of us are drunk, Cassian. I’m completely clear-headed.”

That was all she needed to say.

I just wanted you to know

“Do you know what this is going to do, Cassian? Did you even think before jumping into my cousin’s pants?”

“It was completely consensual on both sides.” He said carefully.

“So? This is going to destroy her! This decision will cause much political scandal!”

“That’s all you care about? She is being forced into many things she doesn’t want to do, and all you care about is your political chess game.”

Rhys snarled a warning. “I am trying my damned best to help her. I love her.”

“You’ve sure got a bad way of showing it.”

Then all talking stopped and when Mor finally pushed her way out her cousin and Cass were fighting in the snow.

“Guys!” She called but she might as well have been yelling at a brick wall.

They didn’t stop.

For days, they didn’t stop.

They were at ends for so long, Az bouncing between them occasionally in arguments but mostly just looking tired.

“Please,” She whispered. They both looked up at her. “You two are brothers. Come on, I don’t want this to be the reason you two never speak again. Besides, what I do,” She glared at Rhys, “Is none of your business.”

They stared at each other. Rhys was the first to offer an olive branch. Cass grudgingly took it.

They talked animatedly for hours, working out why Rhys was so wound up about this, and very quickly began acting like they hadn’t been fighting at all.

Mor breathed a laugh as she watched them from her perch in the makeshift kitchen. They were brothers, and she was very glad she hadn’t caused the end to that. She knew her cousin needed him and from what she could tell, Cassian needed him just as much, if not more.

Later that evening the four of them (Mor, Cass, Az, and Rhys) were sitting in a circle on the floor, drinking and talking and laughing but a shadow hung over them all, putting a damper on the conversation. Mor had to go back to the Hewn City soon, and none of them were looking forward to it.

~~~~

Later, Mor was sitting on her bed in the cabin, fighting sleep. Falling asleep meant the new day would dawn sooner. Which meant she would have to leave. She was staring out the window, the reflection of the moonlight on the mountains should have taken her breath away but it was dampened by the sight of the tents which held the other Illyrian warriors camped out at this camp.

A gentle knock on her door startled her and she looked over at it with hesitance before remembering it couldn’t be her father.

“Come in,” She called.

Rhys pushed her door open and stared at her. She stared, unflinchingly, right back. He seemed awkward and uncomfortable in the doorway.

“I’m sorry.” He said finally

She didn’t respond but gestured him in.

He sat stiffly on her bed. “I know what you do isn’t my business. I know that. I do.”

She nodded her acknowledgment.

“I worry about you, Mor.” His voice was edging desperately. He wanted her to understand. “I love you and I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Do you think Cassian will hurt me?”

He hesitated then shook his head, “Cass wouldn’t do that, I know that too. But everyone else might.” He whispered.

“I know, Rhys. But I can’t. I can’t get married and bear children to a man I don’t love. I can’t do that. That’s not who I am!” Her voice was rising above the necessary levels.

“I understand,” He murmured, tucking her into his side. “I do.”

“I love you too,” She whispered finally.

“You are too powerful and beautiful and smart to be contained. I will do anything I can to help you. I promise.”

She started crying and wrapped her arms tighter around him.

“I promise.”

That this is me trying

Mor and Eris were standing in the woods in the Autumn Court. She had her arms crossed over her chest, her braid whipping around behind her wildly.

Somehow Eris had found out about what Mor had done with Cassian, she had a feeling her cousin had reluctantly let it get around.

“I can’t.” Eris shook his head, backing away from her, “You’ve been ruined.” 

Mor fought to keep her face impassive, and if she showed emotion she was miserable but her heartbeat quickened. She was so close. So close to her freedom.

“You’ve been sullied by a bastard-born lesser faerie.” Eris snarled, spitting into the dirt. “We can’t be married.”

Mor watched him carefully, she had no idea what he was going to do.

He shook his head, almost like he couldn’t believe it. “Why?”

Mor knew he wasn’t asking because he cared about their marriage, he only wanted to know why Cassian. Why an Illyrian. Honestly? She had no idea.

She stayed silent, raising her chin.

He rolled his eyes, “Right. Well. I break the union.”

And then he just walked away. He didn’t make sure she got home. Not like she wanted him to watch her winnow away but it was rude anyway.

She made a vulgar gesture at his back before leaving, grinning to herself.

He’d reacted so much better than she thought he would, then he could have reacted.

I just wanted you to know

Her mother hadn’t come to her rooms that morning, it was a serving girl who had helped her dress and was now braiding her hair. She’d known this servant for a long time. She’d grown up in the court, near Morrigan, and had been sent to assist her on many occasions. They weren’t close, necessarily but Mor felt she could talk to the girl.

Today her nimble fingers weaved through her blonde curls, her hands were steady, a stark contrast to her face which was bleached white. Her eyes were tracing the room as if she was scared something-or someone- would jump out and attack her. 

“Should I be afraid?” Her voice broke the brittle silence.

The girl- Aine- didn’t stop her braiding but her lips moved though no sound came out. 

“I’m not sure,” She said finally, “But I am scared for you, mistress.”

Mor’s fingers twitched, it wasn’t a great answer.

She finished with a small flourish and Mor stood. She looked herself over in the mirror, Aine fiddling with her hands behind her. Mor took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders back, raising her chin. She had done this. She had saved herself from marriage and was now going to be facing consequences. 

But she had freed herself from the terrorizing grip of Eris Vanserra.

Now she had her father to deal with.

~~~~~~

“Good luck, Mistress.” Aine’s voice echoed as Mor exited her room with a sinking feeling she wouldn’t be back.

When she entered the throne room, her mother and father were both waiting for her. 

Her mother’s face was something she’d never seen from her before. It was more than the disappointment she had on her face when she found her only daughter hungover or sneaking out of the kitchen at night. It was a bone-chilling disappointment. The kind of disappointment that lingered for longer than an hour. She wasn’t disheveled, her mother had most likely never been disheveled a day in her life- but her shoulders were heavy, her eyes rimmed with dark circles and her fingers twitched from their place resting in her lap.

Her father, however, was more than disappointed. He was angry. His eyes were dark with a rage that chilled the room. He wasn’t sitting like her mother was, he was standing, hands clenched at his sides, feet planted into the ground as if he was seconds away from breaking into a run or spontaneously bursting into flames. Or both.

Morrigan froze in the doorway and they both looked her up and down, both of their gazes filled with something that definitely wasn’t good.

“You’ve disappointed us.” Her mother’s voice was calm. No, calm wasn’t the word to describe it. It was careful. Calculatingly undisturbed. Mor often forgot that her mother was Hewn City thorough-bred, she was manipulative. She was dangerous. “Are you sorry?”

“No,” Mor said after a pregnant silence. “No, I’m not sorry for wanting to live my own life.”

Keir laughed but it was filled with that same anger.

Her mother stood up, resting a hand on Keir’s arm briefly before walking over to Mor. She met her eyes but didn’t reach for her.

“Mom?” She asked, fighting to stop her voice from shaking.

She reached up and caressed Mor’s face before dropping it. Then she brought it back up so suddenly Mor didn’t have time to react as her mother’s hand met her cheek. Her head snapped sideways in response. “Mom,” Her voice was a whisper of agony.

Her mom shook her head in disgust. “You are not my daughter. Not since you whored yourself out to someone so lesser.” She stepped away from Mor, “You couldn’t have even done it with another high fae. You’re disgusting.”

“Mom.” 

“How dare you. How dare you! My only daughter, disgracing herself and me and especially your father in the process. You’re so powerful, you could have had powerful sons.”

That spurred her into words, “I could have had powerful sons? Not that I could use my power, just pass it on to my sons.”

“Yes.”

“The fact that you see nothing wrong with that,” Mor said meeting her eyes again, “Is so wrong. I’m so sorry for you.”

Her mother made to slap her again but Mor was expecting it this time, catching her wrist.

Her mother yanked her hand away from her and walked back to Keir, she murmured, “Do what you will.” Then turned and left, not looking at her on her way out.

Keir walked across the room to her, taking her shoulders in a tight grip, “My wife doesn’t have the stomach to watch what I have to do to you.”

A curl of fear, “And what’s that?”

“I have to teach you a lesson.” His lip curled upwards in excitement that made Mor’s stomach churn. Stepping away and motioning for her to be restrained allowed for multiple of his best warriors to enter. She was good, but there were too many. She did land a few blows of her own but her power was untrained and wild so she had to rely on her physical capabilities alone. She thought she was winning, that she was going to make it out of this with only a few cuts and bruises when one surprised her. Her legs were swept out from under her, followed by a swift kick to the ribs 

“And then,” He lifted one shoulder casually as his only child was restrained in a standing position. She wasn’t against a wall, allowing him to circle her, “If you survive what I must do to you, then you become Autumn’s problem.”

One of the warriors handed him a knife, and her hell began.

She prayed to the Cauldron for her to blackout, to not feel the pain her own father was inflicting, to not hear her own screams echoing, her own blood dripping onto the marble floor.

The Cauldron, apparently, wasn’t on her side.

That this is me trying

She wanted death. She hadn’t ever wished for death like she did right now. Part of her knew she was free now and celebrated that. However, the rational part of her. The part that currently felt the blood leaving every possible place in her body, knew that she wasn’t going to be ‘free’ for very long.

She shifted, almost imperceptibly, and felt the nails in her womb shift. She pressed her lips together to contain the pained groan that attempted to escape.

She dug her nails into the soft earth and scratched futilely. She didn’t know what she wanted to happen, her legs were numb so unless she could gather enough upper body strength there was no moving from this spot.

Her father hadn’t even had the gall to take her and dump her himself. He’d had some of his most trusted soldiers leave her at the border to the Autumn Court. As soon as they’d left and her heightened senses stopped being able to pick them up she’d allowed herself a single scream.

It had torn through her with enough force to make her entire body shake. She didn’t know if she was screaming from the blinding agony she was currently in or how quickly everyone she’d ever known turned on her with an undeniable eagerness that hurt to think about.

The damp earth around her fingers was all she could think about as her mind faded in and out of consciousness. The earth seemed to be getting damper and with a horrified whimper she knew why.

Her head, her neck, her upper arms. The cuts and injuries her father had inflicted on her. They were open. That seemed so obvious in hindsight. The soil wasn’t damp from the rain. Her blood was soaking into the ground, and fast.

Another whimper escaped her lips as she dug her hands in harder, attempting to pull herself somewhere.

She yanked herself along, the sounds of her shattered broken bones shifting made bile rise to her tongue. She couldn’t see, the pain so horrible it was not even registering in her mind but it was registering everywhere else.

She pulled and pulled, inching carefully along the grass, slick with what should be running through her veins.

The birds, undisturbed, chirping above her. What she would give to be up there with them, no worries, just a simple purpose, and a simpler life.

The tears running down her face made knowing the difference between what part of her was slick with blood and what part of her was slick with tears difficult.

“Morrigan.”

Hearing her own name, knowing she wasn’t alone here to die any longer made her cry out. But, when her brain finally recognized the voice, her smile died before it began.

Eris Vanserra crouched over her, running a slender finger down her torso, beginning at her neck until he reached the note. She saw him pause and read it.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, lips curling in distaste. “My problem?” He ran a hand through her bloody hair with enough mock-tenderness to make her shiver. “No.” He pulled his hand away, wiping it on seemingly the only patch of grass not wet with her blood.

When he stood up and walked away there was a single moment where he looked back at her, something like regret shining in his eyes and in the tightness of his lips. However, since the world started fading not a minute after, she chalked that up to her imagination.

At least I’m trying

She thought she was dead when she was picked up. She was numb all over, not feeling pain and unable to move any part of her. With more desperation and strength than she’d ever used she forced her eyes to open. She blinked quickly at the flash of light that sent shocks through her body.

“You’re free. You’re free.”

Azriel.

He seemed to recognize she couldn’t speak and cradled her closer, taking care to not bump the nails still embedded in her stomach.

“You’re out, Mor. We’re going home.”

You’re free.

Act III; The Finale

And it's hard to be at a party

When I feel like an open wound

Her cousin tried to fight her battle with her. Azriel, Cassian, and even Amren did the same. They all worked relentlessly to help her heal. She knew she had to fight her battles on her own. It was working, albeit slowly.

The group of them were stumbling down the streets during a calm night. The moonlight stretched through and reflected off the beautiful and colorful streets and buildings of Velaris. The gentle sound of the Sidra flowing sent calming waves through Mor.

The liquor in her stomach warmed her body which still confused her mind. 

She’d been drinking at Rita’s with her cousin and the others this evening. In the beginning, she’d drank with them to not bring down the mood. She knew she wasn’t entirely fun to be around, not anymore or yet. But now she felt free if she didn’t stop to think much. Speaking of thinking, she was still able to do too much of it still. Rhys had an arm around her shoulder and she moved just enough to pluck the half-full bottle out of Amren’s hand. She felt Az’s eyes on her as she took a heavy swig out of the bottle and shuddered. 

She flashed a small smile at him and he quickly looked away.

She took another drink before Cassian snatched it.

She didn’t know what they were talking about but she could tell she was responding. Her dress, red, low-cut, caught on her heels and the cobblestones and she flew forward. Rhys let out a startled laugh as he caught her and righted her.

She flinched then giggled drunkenly.

Amren reached over and tugged lightly on the strap of Mor’s dress. Mor thought she was going to scold her. To say she should’ve not worn such a slutty dress, she couldn’t have gotten that drunk. Stumbling was a sign of weakness. She was weak. All Amren said though was, “We need to smooth out this road, right Rhysand?”

Rhys laughed, “I’ll do my best.” 

“Or you could just chop the bottom half of all your dresses off,” Cassian’s voice was slurred.

“Nope,” Az said simply.

Amren nodded her agreement, “The long dresses look amazing on her. She’s gotta keep them.” She grinned, all teeth.

Mor smiled up at the sky, the moon shining off her eyes and blonde hair like she was some kind of goddess.

She’d found her family.

A single tear whispered its way down her face and she wiped it quickly before the other noticed.

She loved these weirdo misfits, but despite that, she heard her mother whisper in the back of her mind. You may love them but they won’t stick around very long, you know that. You’ll disgrace yourself even more.

She reached for the bottle again.

It's hard to be anywhere these days

When all I want is you

When she was flying she was free. Flying with her coven, or flying alone, it didn’t matter. She was free.

The mountains were beautiful in the soft light of the dawn. She twisted through the snow-covered peaks. She was high above where anybody could see her and there, the young light warm on her face and the mountains at her sides she reached up and took her hair out of the braid she’d hurriedly threw it in not even an hour earlier.

Her hair whipped around her face, her movements throwing soft snow up from the peaks into her hair and face.

The contrasting temperatures and feelings were enough to clear her mind, she took a breath, deep enough to rattle her chest, and focused on the sensations. The ice and snow prickling her skin, and making her hair damp. The sun taking its daily trek through the sky and illuminating the snow with colors of orange and yellow and red. It was so early that even the bravest birds were asleep, and no lions or similar creatures were up this high. The silence was loud, filling her head with a warm buzzing sensation. She gripped the wood handle of her broom tightly attempting to focus solely on the feel of the wood beneath her calloused hands.

She failed miserably to say the least.

She leaned forward, bringing herself and her broom closer to the snow. She leaned down, running her hand through the smooth blanket, undisturbed by animals and humanoids alike.

It was so simple up here, so calm against the raging war constantly happening below. She wondered what it would be like to live a life like that.

If you’d stayed with him, you would know.

Him. Her hunter.

You would have raised your child, and he would have lived a life like this. Your reality wouldn’t be a constant power struggle between the witches and everyone else. Your reality wouldn’t be a permanent scar reminding you of your failure. Your reality wouldn’t be fighting to survive your own mind. Your reality wouldn't be so filled with people, yet so alone.

She allowed herself to slip off her broom into the welcoming pillow below her.

She lay still, listening to the silence of the dawn around her, and closed her eyes.

She was letting herself breathe, if only for a moment.

You're a flashback in a film reel

On the one screen in my town

The blade was a part of her, an extension of her pain. Her beliefs. In some ways, it was her. Following through on her desires, on her desperation. She had to help the humans. That was the only thought running through her brain. Slash, dodge, flip, stab, parry, disarm, kill.

She was a mindless machine, not allowing herself a flicker of doubt as she ended the lives of her own people. No. These weren’t her people. The only thing she had in common with them was being the same species.

The blades, the one in her hand and the ones strapped along her Illyrian armor, once gleamed gold in the dying light, now shone with blood. Fae blood.

She felt a warm liquid trickle down her face and wiped absent-mindedly with her upper arm.

Her senses were confused with the havoc around her but she focused, sending her mind through the throngs of people, fae and human alike. After moments of careful concentration, she found them.

Rhysand. Cassian. Azriel. 

They were okay.

But she was about to not be.

She sensed the Spring Court foot soldier lunging just in time. She spun, winnowing for just long enough to appear behind him, snapping his neck.

She spared a glance around her seeing the bodies littered all over the field. 

The blood ran like a river and her brain flashed to another moment where blood ran over soil.

She lifted a hand to her stomach absently.

Her ears twitched as she heard it. Screaming, human screaming.

She blindly called out to an Illyrian she passed by and paused only to see him nod in response. She took off, flying through the people, the soaring arrows and the sharp blades. It was one of them. One of the people on their side.

She lashed out frantically, dropping her sword and thrusting her hands through his chest. All the way through.

She looked down at the humans. Two of them, a father hunched over his daughter, as if protecting her.

She pulled him off of her, he was limp. Dead before she got there. The girl though, she looked to be about sixteen, her breaths coming out in short gasps, silent tears running down her face. The scratches and blood covering her proved she’d fought back.

Mor knew she had to get back to the battlefield but she kneeled anyway, pulling the girl closely against her. She gradually stopped shaking and pulled away. Looking Mor in the eye. She was afraid, but still, she looked at her unflinching. She’d just seen the barest example of what Mor could do but regardless she spoke. Her voice was hoarse, “You’re beautiful.” She ran her hands along Mor’s cheekbones carefully.

“I’m going to get you home,” Mor told her.

“I think I’m going to draw you.” She whispered.

Mor smiled, “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

The girl smiled brokenly, taking Mor’s face in her hands and pulling her close. 

“Don’t stop fighting. You are a warrior princess.”

Mor smiled again, “So are you.”

The girl looked at her for a beat longer, as if checking her message got through. Finally, she broke away, tearing off into the woods.

As Mor sprinted the other direction, towards the battlefield she hoped that girl would live long enough to draw her.

Spoiler alert: She didn’t. Later, Mor found her. Her heart ripped clean out of her chest. Not even a mile from her father’s body.

And I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying (maybe I don't quite know what to say)

One day Rhys came home, his shoulders heavy, burdened by his new responsibility. Mor took a single look at him and knew. His mother and sister were dead. And he was now the High Lord of the Night Court.

She wrapped her arms around him and he fought so hard to not melt but it was only shortly after that he did, silent tears soaking through the sleeve of her dress.

Not long after she was named Rhysand’s third in command. She was third in command to the Night Court. 

Sometimes, when the days got bad, she would run her hands all over her skin, where her father had cut her, where he nailed the note into her stomach. She felt unworthy, dirty. She was a slut, a whore, a monster. But then. Then she would remember a simple fact.

She outranked her father.

She outranked her father.

So she distracted and busied herself, focusing solely on her duties when she was required to go to Hewn City, not facing her father unless absolutely necessary. Her family fought hard with her and she finally worked up the courage to wear her favorite dresses when visiting Hewn City.

She’d always been scared to do it but when she finally did the look on her father's face and seeing her family get defensive on her behalf made it worth it. No, scratch that. Seeing herself stand up to him, knowing there was nothing he could do to hurt her? Worth more than every insult he spewed at her that night.

~~~~

Asterin had bad days. This was an undeniable fact, something she couldn’t outrun no matter how much she tried.

There were days where she would be incapacitated from the pain, doubled over at the idea and memories of her child, her hunter. She would trace her finger over the word engraved over her damaged womb and repeat it to herself.

“Unclean. Unclean. Unclean.”

But then she would hear her name being called. So she would pull her shirt down and go meet the thirteen for whatever adventure they were headed on.

She would take every possible opportunity to stand up to Matron Blackbeak, despite the consequences from Manon.

She would look that old bitch dead in the eyes as she did whatever it was. Asterin would make sure she understood. She understood that this wasn’t completely about whatever trivial offense she’d committed. This was about the pain the matron had put her through. Had put what had to be countless witches before her (and possibly after) through.

She would curse, spit, even attempted a slap once or twice but it never made her feel powerful, or strong because it never stuck. The Matron was still in complete control, and Manon wouldn’t fight back against the Matron, never anything to upset the scales at least.

I just wanted you to know

She was healed. Not completely, she doubted she would ever be rid of the lingering trauma lovingly gifted to her by Hewn City. By her father, more specifically. But every time she put on one of her favorite dresses, she didn’t hear her mother’s voice in the back of her head.

She partied at Rita’s without inhibition, drinking as much as she wanted, spending her nights with whoever she wanted. She had control over her magic, she could fight (and she could fight really well, ask Cassian), and she loved herself. Meals were always filled with laughter and witty banter, something that before Velaris she’d never known. She had hit her peak in life, she had never been happier.

Mor fastened the jewelry to her pointed ears, smiling at herself in the mirror.

“Mor!” Cassian’s voice carried up the stairs. “Hurry up, I’m hungry!”

“Poor baby!” She called back.

“Stop taking your sweet time and get your ass down here!”

“Don’t talk about a lady’s ass, you heathen.” That was Amren. Mor couldn’t stop her very unladylike snort.

She heard vague crashing noises and then Rhys’ voice called, “Mor, you know I’m all for spending time on appearances but please before the entire Night Court gets destroyed because Cassian pissed Amren off.”

She couldn’t see them but from the noises, she could assume Rhys had Cassian by the arms and Azriel had placed himself in front of Amren, both of them fighting to stop the carnage.

She ran her fingers through her hair before backing away from her vanity and sauntering out of her bedroom.

She was right, her family was in a stand-off in the sitting room.

“Come on, you uncontrollable monsters.” She pushed her way to the front of them, met with grumbles from Cassian and Rhysand. 

After dinner they were walking the streets of Velaris, stumbling along the bank of the Sidra.

“Morrigan?” A small voice asked. They all turned to see a girl, who must have been only five, standing there. She looked nervous as all hell and clutched between grubby hands was a white rose. She held it out to Mor who crouched to be eye-level with the girl.

“This is for you,” She whispered, her voice barely audible above the rush of the Sidra.

Mor’s heart warmed and she took the rose, and with painstaking care, she tucked it into her hair, “Thank you, sweetheart. What’s your name?”

“Beline,” She tucked her hands behind her, face red from the attention Mor was giving her. “I want to be like you when I grow up.”

“I have a feeling that you’re going to be better, Beline.”

A woman’s voice called Beline’s name. “Is that your mother?”

Beline nodded.

“Well, I guess you’d better run home, honey. Thank you very much for the flower, I’ll treasure it forever.” She swore, a hand over her heart.

Beline went crimson and giggled before racing off in the direction of her mother’s voice.

Mor did keep that flower, she dried it out and pressed it between the pages of her favorite novel that was always on her dresser. She was glad she had a reminder of that evening. The last peaceful and happy evening she would have for fifty years because it was very shortly after that everything went to hell.

~~~~~

Asterin grinned at Vesta, teeth sharp and bloody. Vesta grinned right back. She heard other coven members cackle behind her, and Asterin knew their grins were just as bloody.

Asterin threw her arms out with a laugh, her nails were caked with blood and dirt and who knows what else.

The Thirteen were standing in a field, ankle-deep in remains. A trickle of blood made its way down Asterin’s cheek.

Manon was picking her way through the piles of bodies toward her. 

“Gods, that was fun!” Vesta exclaimed.

Asterin spun to see the other members of the coven. Thea and Kaya were shoulder to shoulder, talking in low tones, they weren’t grinning or cackling like the others but their eyes were shining.

Ghislaine was shoving her way through the bodies and looking distastefully at the blood covering her clothes.

Faline and Fallon were crouched over a few fresher bodies and when they looked up at Asterin, their chins and teeth were coated in blood, their grins were maniacal.

Imogen was wiping the blood from her face, Linnea was picking what looked like skin from her teeth, and Briar and Edda were kicking and prodding the bodies, making sure they were dead.

Manon finally reached Asterin’s side and threw an arm over her shoulder. She licked her lips, surveying the bloody field. “This was fun, but you know we have a lot of concerns back home. My grandmother’s pissed at us for something.”

Asterin looked at her and sighed, “Yeah. But come on, Manon. Live a little! Enjoy this!” She swept her arms out wildly.

Finally, a grin broke across her face, “We did good.”

“Hell yeah, we did!”

The two of them were standing at the top of the hill together, washed in moonlight and blood, watching the coven below them.

“This one’s still alive!” Briar shrieked.

“Live a little, Manon,” Asterin repeated. Manon grinned at her then shoved away and sprinted down the hill.

That this is me trying

Mor opened the library door with her hip, holding two mugs tightly in her hands.

Feyre Archeron was sitting in an armchair that seemed to be swallowing her whole. She had her arms crossed over her stomach and ribs, hunched over painfully.

Mor made her steps louder to not completely scare the girl who looked like at the slightest disturbance she would disappear.

Feyre didn’t move at Mor’s entrance but her ears twitched and her nose flared slightly.

She felt herself smile and catch her breath, Feyre wasn’t afraid of her. She knew it was Mor and she hadn’t gotten defensive at her entrance. That was all she and Rhys wanted. They wanted her to know she could trust them.

She lowered herself into the chair next to Feyre, setting one of the mugs on the coffee table in front of her. Only after Mor had relaxed into the chair and taken a sip did Feyre straighten, just slightly, and reached with shaky, emaciated hands for the mug.

They sat in comfortable silence, snowflakes fluttering outside the window in the dark, watching the fireplace crackle and spark with life. The only light in the room.

She was determined to help this girl, even if it killed her.

~~~

Asterin hung back, watching Elide Lochan carefully.

The girl held a laundry basket against her hip, keeping her weight off her bad ankle with a skill that came with years of practice. That idea sent a jolt of protective anger through Asterin. If he didn’t get what was coming to him soon, Asterin was going to give it to him.

Elide was talking in low tones to another servant girl. After they resolved the conversation Elide smiled kindly to the girl and walked off to take her basket where it needed to be.

She was about to walk up the stairs when something made her stiffen and turn. She scanned the corridor until her eyes landed on Asterin, who was half-hidden behind a column.

Elide visibly relaxed and smiled. The look in her eyes was so uncommon to be directed at an Ironteeth witch that Asterin’s breath caught.

She was so relaxed with them, she knew she was safe with them and that was what caused a smile to bloom across her face.

Surprise flashed in little Elide’s eyes and they stood there, watching each other until, “Elide! I need that dirty laundry!”

Elide called up the stairs, “Of course, I’m coming!”

Elide nodded at Asterin, still smiling, and walked up the stairs out of sight.

It was a small moment in time, fleeting compared to the centuries Asterin had lived through and insignificant when compared to what was going to happen, but that moment stuck with her.

She was going to protect that girl, even if it killed her.

At least I’m trying