#I JUST WANT A POTATO CHIP

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recently I was out walking and caught a glimpse from the corner of my eye that someone had seemingly left a beautiful blue bird figurine on a city bench, but alas... upon closer inspection........ twas just a crumpled bag

[qqueenofhades]

Spooky prompts 14 and/or 22 for Dreamling, please

The first day of autumn term, to put it mildly, is always something of an adventure. The Powers That Be have scheduled "Introduction to the Medieval World, 500-1500" at nine o'clock AM sharp, which is always a great way to get students to turn up on the first day (or indeed, at all) and when Hob reaches the classroom at quarter till nine, it turns out that this happy event has failed to be passed along to Facilities, as it is locked and dark. He then has to ring them up, wait for them to send someone along to unlock it, and when he gets inside, discovers that the A/V emphatically refuses to communicate with the projector. Hob sighs deeply, logs in with his faculty ID, fiddles with the input source, and finally gets the GOLDSMITHS UNIVERSITY OF LONDON logo to appear on the screen. By this time, students are starting to trickle in, yawning and clutching large cups from Costa Coffee and Caffe Nero. Hob has advised them all to print out the module handbook from Blackboard beforehand, but as sustained exposure to undergraduates has dented his confidence in their ability to follow simple instructions, he has brought plenty of extra copies. He hands them around, along with the attendance sheet. Only three names missing. For an early class on Day 1, that's not bad.

Hob introduces himself, explains what they'll be covering in the course (pretty much what it says on the tin), and offers them a few helpful tips to not actually have to purchase anything from the bookstore. Teaching the medieval survey is always an exercise in seeing just how high his blood pressure can go and/or how many Game of Thrones-related inanities he will have to firmly dispel, but he does enjoy it. (A few semesters ago, a student wrote in their evaluation that "Dr. Gadling teaches history like he was really there," a comment which gratified Hob immensely.) The fifty minutes of the introductory lecture fly by, which is mostly just names, dates, terms, and PowerPoints, and everyone dutifully starts packing up to go. Hob has a few hours until he has to teach Empire and the Atlantic World this afternoon, and he absently stuffs his things back into his bag. His phone buzzes, which is undoubtedly one of the three missing students emailing to apologize for their absence and asking a question that is answered on page 3 of the handbook. (That or they accidentally gave themselves food poisoning -- truly, who let these infants live alone?) Hob resolves to check it later, steps out into the hallway, and --

"Good morning, Hob."

Hob skids to a halt, extremely startled, before he spots the tall dark figure standing in the middle of the busy corridor like an extremely emo, extremely goth roadblock. The students veer around him, not without a few who's-that-guy sidelong looks, and Hob desperately tries to make sure that his own are not among them before he moves closer. "Good morning... Morpheus." The name still tastes odd on his tongue, pleasant but unusual, needing a bit of comfortable wear to feel just right. "And can I ask, what are you doing here?"

The Lord of Dreams shrugs. "Isn't it the first day of school?"

"As if that matters to you." Hob raises an eyebrow. "Well, as it so happens, I do have a few free hours until my next class. You know. If you possibly felt the need to grab a coffee."

It's unclear whether Dream has ever just grabbed a coffee in his entire eternal life, but he considers that studiously, then nods once, shoving his hands into the pockets of his long black coat and falling into step next to Hob. They emerge from the history building and into the soggy, mild London morning, a fine drizzle still sifting down from the low grey clouds. They head to the campus cafe, as Hob glances shiftily around again to make sure nobody spots Dr. Gadling in company of this... person. (Not that he's ashamed of Dream, not at all, but students do gossip like fiends, and this is all so new. He has to be extremely careful not to accidentally spook the bastard and send him running away for another hundred and thirty-three years.)

"Small latte, please," Hob says to the barista. "Blueberry muffin. Oh, and whatever he wants."

Dream looks startled. He stares at the menu as if he has never contemplated an overpriced espresso beverage in his life (almost five quid for Hob's latte alone, they are having a laugh -- why is London not a real city where real people can still afford to live?) Then he says uncertainly, "Coffee, I suppose."

The barista looks expectant.

"Uh." Hob clears his throat. "What sort of coffee, love?"

Dream looks deeply startled, and Hob is briefly afraid that he is in fact about to throw up his hands and rush out of this establishment in a fit of pique. He didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out, and well, they are seeing a lot more of each other these days (in, ah, all sorts of ways). Dream thinks about it a moment more, as there is an audible sound of impatient throat-clearing and shuffling from the queue behind them. Hob says hastily, "Just a small brew of the day, please. No cream, no sugar. Black. Like his soul."

The barista stifles a snort. Dream looks at Hob accusingly. Hob shrugs -- a bite me sort of shrug that makes Dream likewise muffle a smile -- and opens his wallet. It is, of course, far more than two small drinks and a pastry product should cost in any reasonable epoch of the world, but damn if he isn't so happy to pay it, to be here with his no-longer-stranger, to sip their drinks as Hob laments the dismal standard of essays to which he will undoubtedly be subjected and Dream listens with quiet, patient adoration, that he can hardly stand it.

[squisheebugdoodles]

Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired

[eternalduos]

I miss solid food. Kicks a rock sadly down the road.

[xylophone888]

(this is a repost because i think i accidentally deleted the original post :/)

fun (actually quite sad and not fun whatsoever) fact: when rincewind described what he thought was a crush on conina to himself he only listed physical "symptoms" such as fast heartbeat, feeling too hot to a "molten iron" extent and sweaty palms; he never brought up or even tried to bring up psychological stuff like being drawn to the person you have a crush on or finding some of their features or interests attractive or even something like wanting to get to know them better

he only found physical symptoms that could correspond to many different things other than infatuation and i personally think he just said to himself "well she's a woman and im a man and men are attracted to women right? therefore all this i feel must mean that im attracted to her, can't imagine anything else" but actually if you look at the aforementioned symptoms a little closer....i honestly am of the opinion he was just constantly stressed and anxious and scared on such a deep level already that he couldn't understand why was he feeling all that so he went for the only explanation available; he got so used to fear and anxiety he stopped noticing it and when it expectedly produced bad physical symptoms he already stopped even thinking about the fact that he's afraid and anxious because it became the default state of being to him; he forgot that feeling the way he feels all the time isn't normal

[soaps-mohawk]

HEAR ME OUT ON PONGO.

(I'm still that anon who ate paper when I was little)

I REMEMBER IT WAS ALSO BLUE. AS A CHILD I TAKE IT AND MAKE SMALL BALLS IMAGINING IT WAS POPCORN

I have a green sponge and Yellow the green part sucks but the yellow part😍😍😍

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I've always disliked popcorn (because it gets stuck in your teeth and then I can't leave it alone until I get all the little pieces out) but I ate it a lot as a kid because that was just what we did for movie nights.

I absolutely get the abrasive side of sponges sucking. That just seems like such a gross texture, plus it's kind of stringy? Also it's abrasive so I imagine it would tear your mouth apart after a while.

[geolato]

Me, asking my mom how long it takes for food to cook: I'm gonna get a good grade in airfryer, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.

[a-resplendent-mushroom]

everyone here fucking loves potatoes. everyone loves potatoes and i cAN'T FUCKING EAT POTATOES WHY IS MY EXISTENCE MADE OF SUFFERING

[phar1ka]

Devastating: That can of Liquid Death you thought was iced tea turned out to be sparkling water.

[lucaswarmhotchocolate]

haven't been able to cook something rlly good or eat my favorite foods in the way that I like them recently and it's doing horrors for my mental health. I would honestly settle for Kraft mac n cheese and dino nuggies rn (I don't like Kraft brand mac n cheese and much prefer homemade but that's ridiculously expensive and dino nuggies are fine I guess but I prefer something crisper like popcorn chicken or McDonald's nuggets)

[sludgeguzzler]

is there ever going to be a school trip where im not completely miserable

[jedi-bird]

I didn't buy pecans at the market the other day for the crumble because I was pretty sure we still had some at home and I had already spent more money than I planned to (couldn't leave without the tamales though). Tonight while getting everything grouped and ready for tomorrow, I realize that I did not in fact know where the pecans were. They were not in their usual place. Thinking pecan-y thoughts didn't help, nor did thinking husband-y thoughts (since most things misplaced can usually be linked back to him). I finally found them hiding no where near where they should have been and now have them on the counter with a note to not touch.

[yourheartinyourmouth]

alright, followers who speak more Spanish than i do:

what (if anything) is the difference between la manteca and la mantequilla? google is telling me they both just mean “butter”, but no info on if it’s a colloquial thing, or dialect, regional, etc.

[joshoconnaissance]

i miss solid foods 😭😭😭 i miss the cronch 😭😭😭😭

[tardis--dreams]

Mission accomplished! Found some vegetarian food AND finally bought my t-money card!! Not leaving the house for the rest of the day now

[countess-of-edessa]

im aware that this is just like,,,the nature of food. but it’s kind of galling when something takes 5+ hours to make and the family member who had the least to do with its creation eats seventy five percent of it in fifteen minutes