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tortoisenottortoise · 3 years

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Am I the only one who likes seeing muscular women in media more than muscular men?

Alright so, this one will probably end up much shorter and a little more ranty than I'd like, but this is kind of personal so be fairly warned.

Recently I've seen a few complaints about the new He-Man show and honestly, I fully understand and empathize with them. Whilst I haven't fully seen the show, from what I've viewed I can personally speaking agree (or at the very least understand) where most criticisms come from. I think it's incredibly shitty that the writer basically lied to his audience about how the show would run. Now normally I'd be fine with a twist such as He-man dying, but he's an important part of the show and the way the marketing & merchandising for it was running kind of comes across as him basically using He-Man's name to get people into the show. I also feel like it's fine to view Teela as obnoxious and annoying, nothing about her personality-wise seems likable to me. I also heard a few complaints about Orko's (I think that's his name, don't crucify me) backstory and how his character was handled.Yet as the title suggests one that didn't stick with me was the criticism of Teela and a general trend towards the criticism of women in media as being "masculine".

I've heard over and over that Hollywood representing strong women by giving them masculine traits is a bad thing and yet... I kind of don't get it? It feels odd to say, almost like I'm the dumbest man alive for admitting something which most people on the internet seem to be so sure about, yet I just don't understand where this is coming from. I've seen this thrown at She-hulk, Wonder Woman, Abby, and many other characters, yet when inquired it usually loops back around to, "Yeah they have muscles", and that's about it. This type of criticism in specific seems to overly focus on the appearance of said characters. It's the one critique I just can't get behind and it feels like at best it's a shallow criticism that fails to get its point across, and at worst it's actively demeaning to women who desire to or show masculine traits. But first, let me break this down into sections.

Section 1: Muscles =/= Masculinity (In my opinion at least)

Oh boy, I feel like this is a section that might rustle some feathers, but I'm going to try and explain myself best as possible. I simply do not view muscularity as a feature that is inherent to or should be inherent to men. I'm not going to pretend as if muscular men aren't more saturated in media and art, nor as if they're societally treated as masculine, but one of the reasons I fail to understand this criticism is that I see muscles beyond the horizons as being just a masculine trait.

I believe that muscles should instead be seen as a sign of hard work and determination. As someone who's currently trying (and struggling) to stay healthy and fit, it's much harder than a lot of media portrays it to be. It's a test where you push yourself to the limits, not just for the sake of doing it, but so you can improve as a person. Whenever I go to the gym and see a muscular gal or guy walk by, my immediate thought isn't, "how masculine" or anything like that my thought is, "wow! They worked hard to get like that, I should work hard as well!".

This interpretation tends to feel like it's just simply taking a piss on people who actively work hard to achieve higher levels of strength. Especially when society places and enforces these unrealistic standards onto people. If you don't have a six-quintillion pack nor can bench press a fucking house then you're worthless, of course, that is unless you actually attempt to pursue said standards which in that case you're automatically dismissed as cheating your way to gaining your muscles instead of putting any work in. And that's just for men who often don't have to deal with traditional idiots who are stuck in the year 1950 where I can't walk on the same street as them. My skin crawls when reading tweets from older men talking about how weightlifting women are "ruining their fertility" and I absolutely hate it when people in my life treat these women as if they're mythical creatures from a fairy tale, or when females who have trained to such a degree are simply dismissed as being inferior.

Obviously, I don't think the people who say this are like that, but whenever I hear this type of critique I can't help but think of the culmination of all these experiences I've gone through. But then again, this might honestly just be because I'm personally attracted to muscular women.

Section 2: Body type diversity

Another reason that I tend to like muscular women in media over muscular men is simply due to the sheer oversaturation of muscular men. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem if anybody likes muscular men. I totally get wanting to shove your face in between some man titties or get inspired by their physiques. In all honesty, almost everything I said earlier can directly apply to men, but one of the reasons I bring up body type diversity is that there tend to be much less muscular women than men. I

f anything, I'd have to say that muscular men are almost treated as the default when it comes to things like superhero comics, movies, video games, anime, etc. In a similar vein, the default for women tends to be slim and curvaceous, you get the drill. Whenever someone who doesn't fit into either body type shows up and isn't treated like a joke/gag or a character to rip on, I can't help but be happy about it. As much as I have no clue wtf is going on with TLOU2, I can appreciate that Abby's portrayal doesn't seem to exist solely as a joke meant to demean women for working out. I'm excited when an anime protagonist is a fat character who can go beyond just being a "fat guy" and is treated the same way a normal person would be.

Regardless of what you think about whatever trait you're criticizing, there's probably someone out there who fits it. If you're not into it or dislike it, then that's fine, but I'd rather have that expressed than it being actively made out as a harmful trope as opposed to just literally another body type that some women have.

Section 3: Muscular women inspire me more

Ok so, we've now blown into a full-on personal experience, buckle up boys, girls, NBs, anything in between, and I feel like I'm forgetting someone so apologies! But yeah, muscular women in media tend to be a lot more inspiring than people seem to give them credit for. This comes down to a mix of both the qualities I outlined earlier in what makes the characters inspiring but also plays into the idea of body diversity.

One of the traits that make amazons seem more inspiring is their inherent rarity/lack of screentime. As I stated earlier, whilst I do enjoy my fair share of man-titties, it kind of gets to a point where it's more depressing than inspiring when all you see is just super-models shoved in your face whenever you walk into a theater. If for every Goku I could find ten other guys who were on the chubbier side then I'd be able to take more from when I see Goku and other characters with his body type, yet it's so saturated that it no longer becomes something to aspire to, but simply the norm. It's not that you can work to become muscular or skinny with hard work and effort, you have to be muscular or skinny unless you want to be deemed a failure. Being chubby often isn't presented as a starting point but just treated as a defect. As someone who spent years battling with my own self-perception, that's just not a good message to get across.

Now, this obviously isn't to say that people can never make muscular characters. After all, it's their story so they can put whatever they want in it. The aim of the game isn't to stop people from making a specific type of character, but to encourage a diverse set of people to make a diverse set of characters. This is the reason why I view muscular women as so inspiring. Instead of coming across as just "the norm" or "the standard" they stand out from the crowd and despite knowing what they have to deal with, are still ready and willing to work out and improve their bodies. They had a goal in mind and set time aside to achieve said goal, that's something I can get behind.

Conclusion:

This will be another short section, but I just wanted to mention it because it caps off my thoughts on this post in general. What originally started as me just not getting the reason why people disliked Teela's design somehow turned into a passionate rant and I'm A) not sure if it fits on this particular subsection of the community, B) scared I'm going to get ripped to pieces, and C) somewhat unsatisfied with all that I said. At the end of the day, this probably won't be seen by too many people, but to those who do see it, I hope you have a wonderful day. I just wanted to talk about something that was near and dear to my heart and hoped that I made it clear why I view things the way I do.

P.S: Can we stop having this double standard where we act like women whose arms show the slightest hint of definition are "unrealistic" whilst men can look like tree trunks and be considered normal and healthy? please and thank you!

#rant post #character rant #please help I'm new to tumblr and a boomer when it comes to tags #tropes #trope discussion

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absolutepx · 4 years

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So I've been playing Death Stranding lately. Wait, that's not what this post is about. Well, it kind of is. Hang on. What is Death Stranding about?

A: Norman Reedus getting bare ass naked B. Sneaking around ghosts with the help of your sidekick, an actual baby C: Carrying 50 Amazon packages up a hill while trying to not topple over D: Waking up in the morning and drinking 5 Monster Energy™ for breakfast

For those following along at home, the answer is actually none of the above. Despite the set dressing being bizarre to the point of near absurdity, what the game is actually about, like thematically, is actually really simple.

See, the development of Death Stranding was actually quite a trip. Hideo Kojima is the video game world's equivalent of an auteur director. He has a very recognizable personal style. It's thoroughly horny – he caught a bunch of shit for the design of Quiet in MGSV, but like, a lot of Kojima characters are just -like that-, including the dudes. Also, this is going to possibly be important later.

Anyway, so Kojima was going to do a rebootmakequel of Silent Hill, and the demo actually made it to the PS store and I could actually write a whole side essay about why P.T. (it was called P.T. for some reason btw) was brilliant game design for how it used the same hallway over and over and it was somehow beneficial to the overall feeling of horror. So Konami it turns out kinda sucks nowadays and they like, fired Kojima (they were huge dicks about it behind closed doors, too) and scrapped the project and kicked him out on the street and kept the Metal Gear series which was his baby (literally the baby in the sink in P.T., he snuck a bunch of messaging about the Konami situation into the demo like a breakup album) and Kojima would go on to form his own studio and poach some of the people who worked with him to boot. So the thing about Kojima is this: he's got a reputation for already putting some wild shit in his games, like a ladder that takes like 10 real time minutes to climb in MGS3 for dramatic effect, and a boss in MGS3 that summons the ghosts of all the people you were too lazy to stealth past and killed, or a sniper battle with a really old guy that he wanted to have last two weeks or some shit until he died of old age but he was "told that "this was impossible and not recommended." That is a real quote I just looked up. So he's coming off the heels of making this hugely successful game with MGSV and the hype of the P.T. Demo and he fucking, he like took all the people that were going to be working on P.T. Along like Guillermo Del Toro was going to co-write it and Norman Reedus was going to star in it, and he's like, I'm going to make this game called Death Stranding. And the first trailer comes out for it and it's completely nuts. Norman Reedus wakes up naked on a beach crying with a baby and there are floating people in the sky? So we're all like hooooooly shit, there's no one to tell him "this is impossible and not recommended" anymore. What's he going to make now!?

So the whole time the game is in development I keep seeing these tweets where it'll be like, Kojima and one of his homies smiling with some saccharine message about being spiritual warriors and changing the world. And not just Del Toro and Reedus, there was Mads Mikkelsen (another guy Kojima puts in the game just because he apparently loves him), and the band Chvches, and also like, Keanu Reeves at one point? You know how everyone has just kind of accepted that Keanu is a being of light? Here he was endorsing Kojima. The hype was pretty confused and frantic.

The game eventually comes out. A lot of game journos hate it because I think there was this expectation it was going to be, you know, less weird and have more of the conventional structure of a video game. That's not to say the average gamer wasn't also dismissive of it, but I think on the ground level there was more of an understanding that like, yeah, Kojima just be like that sometimes.

Because the game was a timed console exclusive and your homie don't play like that, I spent the first year or so cautiously viewing Death Stranding from a distance. I wasn't sure I was going to like it – except for being really impressed with P.T., I wasn't actually a big fan of Kojima's games as games – but I -was- sure that I was going to buy it, because of the way Konami fucked him over, just out of support. And the shit I was hearing was really out there. The primary mode of gameplay is just delivery packages. You collect Norman Reedus' bathwater and pee and use it as grenades. You get a motorcycle that looks like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus, and when you sit on it, his character in the game says "Wow, this thing is like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus!"

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But I didn't really want to know that much about it. Something has that much fucking crazy person energy, you want to go in mostly blind, right? So maybe people just weren't talking about this, or maybe I wasn't seeing it, but then I watched Girlfriend Reviews' video about it and they came right out and said it (link provided if you want to hear Shelby say it more articulately than me):

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Death Stranding is basically about the exact opposite of Twitter. It's about remembering how to be kind to each other, how to reconnect in a world where people are so often hostile to each other by default. Prophetically, it's about a world where people are afraid to go outside or touch other people and how damaging that is. It's not a game about carrying packages, it's a game about helping people by being brave enough to walk through a wasteland carrying their burdens because they can't. It's about rebuilding the lost connections between people, about restoring roads and giving people hope. I bet, for Kojima and the people close to him, it's about how to answer hostility with compassion. You can't kill people in Death Stranding. You can and are absolutely encouraged to fucking throw hands with people sometimes, but all the tools and weapons are nonlethal. So I think Kojima took all the Twitter heat he got over the Quiet nontroversy, and all the feelings of isolation he had from Konami separating him from his team during the end of the development of MGSV, and all the support and encouragement he got from his bros Del Toro and Mads and the rest, and decided to channel that into making a game that was a statement about all of it. And sure, it's a little heavy handed, and sure, it's a little saccharine, and sure, the gameplay sometimes borders on miserable in service of creating emotional payoffs. For me, especially in 2020, this message is a huge success. Social media should be an opportunity for all of us to feel more connected to each other, yet primarily it feels like one of the main forces driving people apart. Why is that? Why is the internet of today such a hostile place? I'm old enough to remember web 1.0: I can haz cheezburger memes; YTMND; the early wild west days of Youtube... What happened to us? I've thrown the blame at Twitter in the past, and I think the architecture of the user experience on Twitter is absolutely a big piece of the puzzle, because it fosters negative interactions. But in terms of the behavior, people have observed that 2018 Twitter was actually almost exactly like 2014 Tumblr. (For the record, Tumblr is now one of the chillest places left on the internet, because so few fucks are left to give.)

I think part of it is the anonymity. The dehumanizing disconnection of the separation of screens and miles. Louis CK, before he was cancelled, had a great point about cyberbullying, and why it's so much more savage than kids are IRL. When you pick on someone in person and you are confronted with seeing the pain you caused them, for most sane people it causes negative feedback and you become disgusted with your actions and eventually learn to stop being a shithead. Online, at best you can "break the wrist, walk away".

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At worst, you can become addicted to "clout chasing" and the psychological thrill of being cheered on by your social ingroup. It's even worse if you feel like it's not bullying and your actions are justified because whoever you've targeted is a bad person so you don't have to feel bad about what you do to them. This is where reductive, unhelpful catchphrases like "punch a nazi" come in. For every argument, one or both sides have convinced themselves that the other side is subhuman because their beliefs are so disgusting. And sometimes it's even true! A lot of times, especially these days, people really are acting like animals or worse online. Entire disinformation engines are roaring day and night, churning out garbage and cluttering the social consciousness. (Kojima talked about this bit, too, way back in MGS2. As if I wasn't already in danger of losing my thread through this.)

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The human brain was not built to live like this. You can't wake up every morning, roll over and open your phone, and be immediately faced with a tidal wave of anger and indignity. It wasn't built to be aware of fully how horrible the world is at any moment ALL AT ONCE, ALL THE TIME. And you will be. Because of another way that our brain works – the way we are more likely to share negative opinions. And because of the cottage industry built on farming outrage clicks, and because of constant performative activism.

It's not that I don't agree that being informed is important.

It's not that I don't agree that the causes people get riled up about are important.

They are. They absolutely are.

But we can't keep living like this. The constant, unending flood of tragedy, arguments, and hot takes. How much of the negativity we associate with online culture is the product of this feedback loop? What if the rise of doomer culture has been, if not entirely created by, has been nourished and exacerbated by our hostile attitudes toward each other? Incels and TERFs, white supremacists, radfems, tankies and Trumpers – it seems like on every side of every issue, there are people simultaneously getting it wrong in multiple directions at once and there are more being radicalized every day. They are the toxic waste left behind by the state of discourse. And any hill is a hill worth dying on.

So what am I actually advocating? I don't know. There are a lot of fights going on right now that are important and we can't just climb into bunkers and ignore our problems hoping that Norman Reedus and his fine ass are going to leave the shit we need on our doorsteps. We need to find the strength to carry those hypothetical packages for ourselves sometimes - and hopefully, for others as well. Humans are social creatures. We need interaction and enrichment.

We need love.

So just try to remember the connections between humanity. Try to put more good stuff into the world when you can. Share more shitposts and memes. Tell your friends and family that you love them. Share good news when you hear it. Go on a weird fucking tangent about Death Stranding. Find a way to "be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes."

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#death stranding #hideo kojima #video games #cancel culture #essay #oc

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blissedoutphil · 4 years

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Cool Down

Never thought I’d be writing a prompt from the man himself in the year he’s barely around. Also anon’s idea is A+ thank you for that, I hope you enjoy!

The (**) leads to a nsfw link so be careful if you wanna click it!

3019 words of ice play, Top!Phil, bottom!dan, ice play, blowjob, smut

or read on ao3!

Dan groaned at the sound of the doorbell. Phil and his damn packages. It was so hot that he'd decided to spend the day not moving at all from the spot on the couch near the fan, but Phil was busy filming so he had no choice.

He reluctantly stepped away from the fan and went to answer the door. He didn’t bother putting a shirt on and was just in his shorts, because who needs a layer over their sticky skin in fucking 34ºC weather.

He was too hot to even feel conscious about being topless when facing the cute deliveryman. The guy didn’t look fazed either, probably most people he delivered packages to were wearing as little clothing as possible on this sweltering day. He dumped Phil’s packages on the kitchen table and went back to his spot.

A few hours later Phil walked in, in just shorts too.

“Whew, I’m glad filming’s finally done. Couldn’t wait to take off my shirt the entire time,” he complained, plopping down between Dan and the fan.

“Hey! Stop blocking the fan,” Dan toed at Phil’s side to get him to move, “go get your packages on the kitchen table.”

“Oh, they’re here already?” Phil got up immediately, looking quite excited that his order had arrived.

“You making a Wish video again or something?” Dan asked from where he was still lounging.

“No, just got some things I thought were cool.”

“Phil, we’ve got enough useless things lying around here, you gotta stop falling for the ads” Dan rolled his eyes.

“Uh, I beg to differ, you loved that Nic Cage pillow cover,” Phil said indignantly, “plus I got something that’s definitely useful for you right now.”

That piqued Dan’s interest, and he quirked an eyebrow at Phil, “If it’s not another fan or a portable A/C then I don’t agree with you.”

“It’s better than that, trust me,” Phil had that glint in his eye that Dan knew meant he was planning something good.

But he was also being sneaky about it, refusing to tell Dan what he got and telling him he’s got to wait a few hours.

So they spent the rest of the warm day lazily lounging about and trying but failing to pay attention to the tv since their brains felt melted from the heat. Phil had eaten 2 ice lollies, and made huge glasses of iced coffee for both of them, but they still felt warm as soon as their cold treats were gone.

"If whatever you bought is better than a fan then can we please use it now?!” Dan said exasperatedly, wiping sweat off his brow.

“So impatient,” Phil chided, but he got up to retrieve the item.

“Actually,” Phil continued as he walked over to the kitchen, “I got this idea after I saw your tweet.”

Dan craned his neck to look over at his boyfriend, squinting his eyes suspiciously.

“You gonna help me stick some ice up my ass?” he joked, but stopped chuckling when he realised Phil wasn’t laughing along with him.

“I mean,” Phil shrugged, looking into the freezer, “you could’ve just texted that to me.”

Dan’s breath hitched as it dawned on him that Phil was dead serious about following through with his joke tweet.

“It’s too hot for sex right now, Phil,” he griped.

“Not as hot as your idea. Hey, describing ice play as hot is kinda ironic,” Phil grinned.

Dan rolled his eyes fondly. “What does my tweet have anything to do with your Wish purchase anyway?”

“It’s like Wish knew what you tweeted, I think they’re spying on us.”

“Spit it out, Lester, what did you get? A dick-shaped ice tray or something?”

Phil peeked out from the freezer door. “That does sound like something Wish probably has.”

Dan barked out a laugh. The ridiculousness of the idea based on his joke coupled with the determination on Phil’s face resulted in him doubled over from laughter.

Dan pressed his hand over his chest at an attempt to calm down to talk, “Don’t tell me you actually!”

Phil shrugged nonchalantly, “your wish is my command, who else was gonna fulfil your requests on twitter?”

Dan shook his head slightly at his ridiculous boyfriend. He heard the freezer shut and Phil beckoned him over to the kitchen, so he lazily got up and padded over to where his boyfriend was in front of the counter.

The moment he stepped close enough for Phil to reach out for him, Phil grabbed him and pinned him against the counter. He grunted as Phil turned them so his back hit against the counter, barely having time to register what was happening.

Phil had a smirk as he held Dan in place by his hips. He headed straight for Dan’s lips, and Dan happily welcomed the kiss. But Dan’s eyes widened and he moaned in surprise when he opened his mouth and a small ice cube was pushed into his mouth. The ice cube quickly melted between their tongues, and Phil only broke the kiss when it was completely gone.

Dan gasped out a surprised laugh. He already had an idea of what Phil was up to yet somehow he still did not see that coming.

Phil winked in that endearing way where it almost counted as blinking instead, and reached for something on the counter behind him. He gently pushed Dan’s head down to his neck and Dan got the hint, starting to mouth along his neck to his shoulder.

Dan had barely started on sucking a hickey when Phil gripped his hair and yanked him back up to kiss him again. Dan still moaned in surprise when he felt another ice cube being pushed into his mouth again.

Dan noted that the ice wasn’t exactly cube shaped as it got passed between them. Phil rubbed it on Dan’s tongue with his own, feeling it melt.

Their lips felt cold but their bodies grew warmer, sticky against each other as their chests pressed together. Phil placed a hand on Dan’s chest to balance himself and also have some space between them so that their body heat wouldn’t be too uncomfortably hot. He could feel Dan’s heart beating faster against his palm.

Once again, Phil looked over Dan’s shoulder to pop another ice into his mouth after the previous one completely melted. This time, he stuck his tongue out to show Dan the ice.

“Oh,” was all Dan could manage before he broke out into laughter.

Phil couldn’t help but giggle too, taking the dick-shaped ice from his tongue and holding it out for Dan to take a proper look.

“Cute innit, you guessed right. I think Wish can actually grant any wish we have,” Phil beamed at his own dumb joke.

Dan looked behind him and saw a big glass on their table top full of small ice that were shaped simply like bananas with two circles at the end.

“Not what I thought of at all when I tweeted that,” Dan laughed.

He turned back to Phil when he felt Phil place the ice on his chest. He watched as Phil traced the ice along his chest, watched as the dick shrank quickly until all of it turned to water trailing down his stomach. How was playing with ice so hot?

“Don’t think these tiny things in my ass would be satisfying enough, though,” he smirked.

“Oh, I know,” Phil squeezed Dan’s ass, “this is just one of the things in my Wish package.”

Dan didn’t have time to ask anything because Phil was already pressing an ice-dick to his lips, and he opened his mouth to accept it, Phil’s lips following immediately after.

A strangled whimper escaped Dan’s mouth when a sudden cold bit at his nipple. He gripped Phil’s upper arm for purchase, but Phil wasn’t letting up on their kiss or the sliding of the ice across his chest.

The ice was circled around his nipple, going over it until it hardened. Dan shivered a little, but Phil only broke the kiss to pop another ice into their mouths and press another against his other nipple, repeating until it was equally numb and hard.

Dan shuddered, swallowing the melted ice. He was definitely starting to cool down, feeling the cold water run down his chest. Phil was still tracing another ice slowly, from his clavicles to his chest to his tummy - like he didn’t want to miss a spot.

They were both already hard, and with his free hand, Phil began palming Dan through his shorts. Dan whined into Phil’s mouth, canting his hips into Phil’s hand.

Phil pressed an ice below Dan’s collarbone using his lips. He slowly traced it down Dan’s body, and Dan held onto his shoulders as he went down. The ice melted completely by the time it reached Dan’s bellybutton, but Phil continued kissing his way down, until he was properly on his knees.

Above him, he heard Dan’s breaths coming out ragged. He licked a drop of water that was trickling down Dan’s happy trail to the waistband of his shorts, then started mouthing Dan’s dick through the shorts. He could feel Dan’s dick twitch, straining against the shorts.

Dan moaned, tugging at Phil’s hair to move him away just long enough for him to remove the only piece of cloth on him. He hastily pulled his shorts down, and Phil helped him step out of it completely.

Dan shivered involuntarily as Phil started licking along his shaft. Phil’s tongue felt cold on him, but he felt himself heating up from the way Phil was staring up at him while swirling his tongue on his slit.

“My god,” Dan moaned when Phil went down on him proper, a cool sensation in contrast to the usual warmth of his mouth.

But the cold didn’t last long of course, as Phil started bobbing his head in earnest. Dan’s balls met Phil’s chin with each time Phil went down on him.

“Phil,” Dan moaned, trying to catch his breath to speak, “Phil I won’t last before seeing your other - oh- your other purchase.”

At that, Phil kneeled up and slowed his movements. His free hand snaked up to reach the glass on the edge of the table. The dick-shaped ice left in there had melted some, and he dipped his fingers in to wet them.

Dan was still too caught up in the blowjob to notice what Phil was doing, so he let out a small surprised yelp when Phil’s cold fingers pressed against his hole. He spread his legs a little, relaxing to let Phil finger him.

A strained whimper escaped Dan, starting to feel overwhelmed from Phil’s mouth still on him and now his fingers in him too. Phil began to pump his finger in and out, adding a second finger soon after. He looked up at Dan, gauging how he was holding up so that he knew to pace himself and not let Dan come before he could move on to the next part. Dan was gazing down at him, panting and looking flushed despite all the ice rubbed on him.

Phil moved off of Dan’s dick with a pop when he was done fingering him. He stood up and gently manoeuvred Dan to turn around and bend over on the counter top.

“I don’t think you’ve cooled down enough,” Phil said nonchalantly, tapping Dan’s ass.

Dan folded his arms and rested his cheek against them, humming in agreement with Phil.

“Gimme more ice dicks,” he chuckled and wiggled his butt, “you still haven’t fulfilled my twitter wish.”

“Once again,” Phil smacked Dan’s ass playfully, “so impatient.”

Phil took some ice that hasn’t yet melted in the glass and placed them neatly in a line down Dan’s back along his spine, from the bottom of his neck right to the spot between his back dimples. Dan could count 6, and could feel the coldness spread from each of them through his skin. He was then ordered to keep still so the ice wouldn’t fall off.

“Actually,” Phil went to open the freezer, “I don’t think I can fulfil your twitter wish exactly.”

Dan made a questioning noise, confused. But he couldn’t turn to look at Phil.

“You asked for a cube, but that’s not what I have,” Phil took out his next item from the freezer and finally showed it to Dan.

“Oh. My. God,” Dan uttered in a mix of shock and amazement, “fucking Wish!”

Phil giggled. He opened the dick mould (**) to reveal the ice in the shape of a very realistic penis, complete with the balls and head and veiny shaft. It was rather large too, Dan reckoned, almost as big as him.

Dan could feel the tiny ice dicks melting on his back, the water dripping down his sides as his body thrummed in excitement to try out the new toy.

“Ready?” Phil asked, taking out the ice from the mould and rubbing it along Dan’s crack.

Dan shivered at the contact, it was fucking cold. But he didn’t want to waste anymore time and cause the ice to melt before they could even start.

“Yesss,” he keened, sticking his ass up a bit more.

Phil took Dan’s arm and brought it behind him, a silent order that Dan understood immediately. He spread his asscheeks with both hands, his face planted against the table as he looked on at Phil expectantly.

Phil quickly pressed the head of the ice-dick into Dan’s hole, and Dan hissed at the coldness penetrating him. The balls part of the ice was already starting to melt in Phil’s hand, but he took his time pushing it into Dan, letting Dan adjust to the intrusion. He knew Dan could take the size since it was smaller than him, although only by a bit, but he wasn’t sure how it would feel to have a frozen item entering him.

“Oh my god,” Dan mumbled. He could feel the cold spread inside him, a much more intense sensation than at the start of their play when the tiny ice was just spreading a bit of cold on his skin.

“How does it feel?” Phil asked as he slowly pushed another inch in, a steady hand on Dan’s lower back.

“Fucking cold,” Dan grit out, “strange but. Good. Keep going.”

“Good,” Phil repeated, and kept going like Dan requested until the ice balls were pressed against Dan’s ass, a little out of shape from having melted slightly.

“So weird, I can like, feel it melting inside me,” Dan commented, swaying his hips a bit.

Phil grabbed the ice balls and slowly dragged it out a bit, noting that the ice already lost its veiny details, now looking like a really long and thick ice pop. He then pushed it back in and repeated, fucking Dan with the ice and watching as it grew smaller in size.

Water was trickling out of Dan’s ass and down his legs, and now he really felt cool all over. Phil let go of the ice and kept it in Dan, reaching under Dan and placing his cold hand on Dan’s hard dick. Dan jerked at the touch, and moaned when Phil started stroking him.

Dan felt like his ass was going numb from the cold, not really able to clench around the shrinking ice. He was able to feel Phil sliding his own dick along his crack, though. He wiggled his ass and stuck it out more, encouraging Phil.

“All the cold water’s being wasted,” Phil noted as more melted ice trickled down Dan’s thighs, “here, let me help you keep it in.”

With that, Phil pulled his own shorts off and thrusted into Dan, eliciting a loud moan from Dan. The small length of ice that hasn’t melted was pushed further into him, and Dan could feel the cold piercing his insides.

“Oh,” Phil moaned, totally not used to fucking into a cold hole.

He began to fuck Dan faster, and the ice definitely melted faster with the movement and their combined body heat. Dan held onto the edge of the table, bracing himself against it as he was fucked. He tried to clench around Phil but still felt too numb to work his muscles there.

Phil’s hand moved back to jerking Dan off, wanting him to come at the same time. Dan was moaning expletives, his hips colliding against the table with every hard thrust from Phil.

The glass of tiny ice-dicks was completely melted, and Phil poured some of the cold water on Dan’s back, spreading it around with his hand. Dan squealed, warning Phil that he was close. It only made Phil speed up both his thrusts and strokes, until Dan wasn’t able to form any words anymore.

Soon enough, Dan came with a high pitched moan, feeling warmth rise in his groin despite all the cold water in and on him. Phil followed almost immediately after, filling Dan with his come. He stayed inside Dan until he fully calmed down from his high.

Dan was lying pliant on the table when Phil pulled out. He realised that the numbness was finally gone, and he clenched his ass to keep the mix of come and melted ice in him for just a bit longer. Phil laid on top of Dan, pressing his body against Dan’s back, and Dan finally felt a bit of warmth again.

“So how was that? Was it everything you wished for when typing that tweet?” Phil murmured in between soft, lazy kisses on the back of Dan’s neck and shoulders, smirking against Dan's damp skin.

“Hmm,” Dan pondered, “not exactly. You didn’t shove it in me like I tweeted.”

Phil huffed, pushing off of Dan and smacking his ass, “you clean this mess.”

Dan merely laughed. He turned around as soon as Phil was off him and pulled Phil into a hug before Phil could get too far.

“Okay okay, I loved it. And I’ll clean up here, only if you promise to try the ice dick too.”

--------------------------------------

smh at the way I kept referencing Wish but only found the mould on etsy. also 'cold' doesn't look like a proper word anymore. Anyway, hope all of your summer’s been good (as good as it can get in this pandemic...)

#Phanfic #phansmut #smut #phan #my fic #Cool Down #dan and phil #phan fic #phan smut

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thestuckylibrary · 5 years

Text

A Year in Reading: 2019 - Julia

2019 wasn’t kind, but fandom is always there to cheer you up. Under the cut is a list of my favorite 2019 reads <3

Please make sure to check the additional tags for each of them and happy reading!

January

The Pajama Party Incident by follow_the_sun (oneshot | 1,455 | T)

A pajama party goes horribly wrong, then wonderfully right.

heartbeat going strong by fireflyslove (oneshot | 4,364 | T)

Steve's been sent to kill the dragon holding the Princess hostage, but the Princess isn't a hostage, and the dragon isn't what he seems.

I’m a Sucker for a Wild Boy by jinlinli (complete | 9,897 | T)

Steve is a vampire who’s never met a werewolf in his life before. Bucky is a werewolf who doesn’t even know vampires exist. Naturally, neck biting means two very different things to them.

In which Steve goes for a midnight snack and accidentally gets himself werewolf married.

The Very Heart of It by merryofsoul (oneshot | 17,743 | M) - Restricted

In which Captain America adopts a dog from Bucky and they become friends — and then more.

call me old-fashioned by I_mNotYourEnemy (oneshot | 7,458 | T)

Steve rises before the sun, runs through various exercises until his muscles burn and sweat gathers on his brow. He showers and dresses and eats, and then heads out the door with dampness still clinging to his hair. His path doesn’t cross with anyone else’s until he reaches the local subway station. He jogs down the stairs to the platform and sees the man waiting there once again, the sergeant.

Or: Bucky joins Steve on his morning commute. Steve draws him and gets his number.

the long walk home by Deisderium (oneshot | 3,566 | E)

On the walk back from Azzano, Bucky keeps touching Steve's chest. Then he touches it some more. And more.

Steve bites his lip raw. AKA tiddy fic

Heckin' Chunker for Love by canistakahari (oneshot | 2,708 | T)

On the inside of the big floor to ceiling window of the office across the street, someone has used Post-it Notes to spell out a message:

W H A T I S Y O U R C A T ’ S N A M E ?

February

bucky barnes and the art class by belovedmuerto (oneshot | 1,420 | T)

Bucky takes an art class, because he wants to spend more time with Steve.

Patience by cleo4u2 (oneshot | 5,073 | E)

You should never Google yourself. Steve knows that, he's been out of the ice for over a year, but he just can't help himself. After finding a gorgeous, sexy brunette thirst tweeting about calling him Daddy, he can't help himself from responding, either.

i want it, i got it by bornes (oneshot | 1,499 | T)

Ten minutes into their impromptu mall adventure, Steve has offered to buy Bucky a designer sofa he had sat on briefly to rest his legs, a $600 headband, and a diamond-encrusted butterfly clip

Remember How to Love by betoning (oneshot | 3,852 | T)

“We shared a bed,” Bucky remembers, "and your toes were freezin’. We didn’t – nothing more, though.”

“No, Buck,” Steve swallows. “Nothing more.”

(Bucky wants more.)

tease me, squeeze me by goodmanperfectsoldier (oneshot | 3,757 | E) - Restricted

It isn’t his fault that Steve has absolutely no sense of modesty. It isn’t his fault that Steve has no desire to be in his Captain America uniform any longer than strictly necessary. It isn’t his fault that Steve tends to start disrobing as soon as they hit friendly airspace, so that he can pull on a t-shirt and sweatpants before they even make it back to headquarters, much less get home to their apartment.

The Fool in the Mirror by thepinupchemist (complete | 111,489 | E) - violence, check additional tags for warnings!

The Avengers, SHIELD, and the world at large have underestimated the pain that Steve Rogers is in.

The night after a near brush with a suicide attempt, Steve discovers the world of support omegas, and in his desperation for relief from the battlefield of his brain, demands to have one.

Enter Bucky Barnes: retired marine, millennial, amputee, brother, son, and support omega. He maybe, just maybe, can help a broken alpha heal in the twenty-first century.

The Best Way to Wake by LeeHan (oneshot | 42,285 | E)

James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Wait, Captain!” “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something. “Captain, we need to keep him in stasis—“ “I said get him out!”

March

Taken by Surprise by Mireille (oneshot | 1,606 | E)

It turned out that there were things Bucky didn't know about Steve, after all.

In the Shadow of Armistice by superheroresin (complete | 63,491 | E)

Sedryn Amathion is a young Ñoldor elf born of lower Himring near the end of the harrowed Second Age. Vice-Captain of the Forlindon Shieldmasters, herald of the High King Gil-Galad, and devotee of Eärendil, the Star of High Hope.

Or, as the ragtag Dúnedain troupe known as the Howling Commandos calls him, Steve.

The Commandos are to sabotage an orc signal tower deep within the Ephel Dúath mountains, clearing the way for the armies of the Last Alliance to march on Barad-dûr and rescue all of Middle-earth from the clutches of this new and terrible Dark Lord.

“Steve” has no way of knowing that love formed deep behind enemy lines would settle so completely inside his immortal heart, defying time, distance, and ultimately death itself.

Tinder Is the Night by rohkeutta (oneshot | 6,802 | E)

It’s the quality that gets him first. The profile photo looks like it's been taken with a semi-professional camera: it's sharp and remarkably unposed compared to most people on Tinder. The guy in the photo is the size of a fucking fridge but with Marilyn Monroe’s waistline, accentuated by the way he’s standing half-twisted towards the camera.

He’s also in the process of getting arrested.

Steve, 28, it says under the photo. New York City. Some say I have an arresting personality. This photo is from my good side. The other has a shiner.

Introduction to Fake Dating Your Best Friend 101 by crinklefries (oneshot | 24,627 | T)

Bucky stares at his best friend as though he’s absolutely lost what’s left of his dumbass mind.

“Excuse me?” he asks dumbly.

Steve sighs and sags back onto the couch, covering his face dramatically with one large, well-manicured hand.

“Dean Coulson thinks we’re dating. And gay. But like, for each other. And now I need you to fake date me so I can convince the Chancellor to fund my research.”

or;

Steve and Bucky are a pair of professors who have to fake date for academic purposes and are real dumb along the way. It's not so much a forest of pine as a whole landscape of it. It turns out fine, probably.

straight from your heart by luninosity (oneshot | 10,516 | E) - check additional tags for warnings!

Steve doesn’t mean to have the orgasm. Not exactly. Not the first time, anyway.

It’s the leather and the buckles and the capable stance. It’s the determination: familiar, and not. Steve doesn’t even know which mission this had been. Where this snapshot of the Winter Soldier had been captured, a splinter out of time. Too many to choose from. But that doesn’t matter.

His skin prickles, his heart races in supersoldier extra-double-time, with want.

Things That Go Bump in the Night by seapigeon, velleities (complete | 38,266 | E)

Many an odd critter and item have ended up on the front porch of the property Bucky house-sits in the Middle Of Nowhere, but a bleeding blond man is a first. A short inspection reveals the man to be none other than Steve Rogers; ex-Captain America, vigilante, and a wanted fugitive. Steve’s stay of a few days of recovery is prolonged, under instructions for him to lie low until the Avengers can sort out the mess that has become the Sokovia Accords. Bucky is pretty sure that he’s committing an act of treason by providing Steve a place to stay. He is also pretty sure that lengthy interaction with Steve makes one prone to impending headaches and possibly ulcers. And he is certain that he is, very assuredly, in danger of falling in love with Steve.

skin by mcwho (oneshot | 1,945 | E)

Steve is spooning Bucky, an arm draped loosely around his middle, laying on the large sofa opposite the TV. His lips are against Bucky’s hair, breathing him in.

It’d be an average Thursday night if it wasn’t for Steve being buried to the hilt inside of him and showing no signs of moving any time soon.

Rouge Fétiche by bangyababy, Neutralchaos (oneshot | 6,941 | E)

“Steve,” Bucky breathed, coming closer. “Stevie, what’s all this?”

Steve made no move to cover himself, now that Bucky had seen it, there was no point. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the ground. “What’s it look like?” he bit out. “I’m wearin’ women’s panties, that’s what it is.”

Steve has been keeping a secret from Bucky-sometimes he likes to wear women's underwear. He thinks it's wrong and he shouldn't want to do it, but he can't help it, so he keeps it to himself. But when Bucky walks in on him one day, Steve eventually has to explain himself. Of course, as it turns out, he was worried about nothing.

Army Proof by aetataureate (complete | 18,423 | T)

Despite his recent and unexpected promotion from green recruit to national icon and media darling Captain America, Steve Rogers still lacks the skills and experience necessary to thrive in the Army. First Sergeant Tony Stark has dealt with decades of tomfoolery from his subordinates, but nothing has quite prepared him for the particular brand of chaos that trails in Steve's wake.

Steve's team includes at least one competent adult in Sam Wilson, but also contains Clint Barton, a mechanic who cheats at cards and still loses, and Natasha Romanov, their terrifying police escort. Together, the gang must navigate across Eastern Europe without causing Steve’s next major international incident.

On the other side of the world, Bucky Barnes is contending with a new reality while doing what he can to keep his accidental hero boyfriend on the path that will eventually lead him home.

much tattoo about nothing by Deisderium (oneshot | 14,576 | E)

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

before we can breathe easy by belovedmuerto (oneshot | 22,052 | T)

No one touches Steve.

Bucky sets out to do something about that.

April

Count On Me Like One, Two, Three by MacksDramaticShenanigans (oneshot | 4,235 | G)

“I also need to get one of those scooter things,” Bucky adds. “That’s gotta be better than these damn crutches.” Steve’s eyes drop down to the crutches again, and he frowns. “Crutches are never comfortable,” he agrees, shaking his head. “You want a piggyback ride?” He asks, grinning as he laughs at his own joke. Bucky ducks his head and laughs along, a good-natured smile settling over his lips. “Yeah, that would be real nice, wouldn’t it?” He says, not thinking anything of it. When he looks back up, however, Steve’s already in the process of shrugging his backpack off of his shoulders. The smile melts off of Bucky’s face and his brows furrow together. Was that… a serious offer?

stay by birdjay (oneshot | 1,318 | T)

The platform buzzes, and suddenly goes quiet. The cycle has finished. Bucky doesn’t bother to look. There’s no way Steve’s coming back when he has the chance to stay. He moves to walk away, to move on with his life, somehow.

“Buck -- ?”

Bucky whirls around, hair flying.

might never be normal again (but who cares) by napricot (complete | 51,540 | E)

The beginnings of a plan took shape in Steve’s mind, as clear and simple as a tactical frontal assault. He’d prove to Bucky that this was it, he was staying: Steve was retired from the fighting game, Steve wasn’t going to let anything keep pulling them apart. Maybe then when Steve finally told him he loved him, Bucky would believe him.

All things considered, Steve thought he’d handled the whole Thanos killing half the universe thing and the ensuing bitter, desperate quest to defeat him pretty well. Sacrificing his super soldier serum to use one of the Infinity Stones wasn't a problem either, not when it meant getting back the half of the universe they'd lost, and especially not when it meant getting Bucky back. But retirement and finally confessing his feelings for Bucky? Those were proving to be more challenging.

May

Smile by WinterTheWriter (oneshot | 2,205 | E)

They say Bucky never smiles, and that's true.

Almost.

The Settler by charlesdk (complete | 52,203 | M)

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

And fill our bodies up like water till we know by caughtinanocean (oneshot | 22,705 | T)

Wolves mate for life. It's both the best thing about Bucky's life, and the most inconvenient.

After six days in Steve’s arms, Bucky dreams again, for the first time since the ice — wolf dreams, four feet on the ground, the smell of the earth, and his eyes in the sky.

The moon is coming, and this reprieve — like all reprieves — is temporary.

June

Home Is Wherever I'm With You by cydonic (complete | 88,570 | E)

This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

That House-Flipper!AU.

People Change, Love Doesn't by Kateis_Cakeis (complete | 119,144 | E)

Bucky didn't fall from the train. Steve didn't die when he jumped out of the plane. They survived.

But suddenly, it wasn't enough to keep their feelings hidden. They had both almost died, only to come back stronger. Well, Steve was done pretending they were only friends, and Bucky was done too.

Surviving the war, however, brought so many challenges. Being SSR agents, eventually becoming SHIELD, building a family with their friends. Living. What would happen as the years ticked on?

miles to go before i sleep by alby_mangroves, obsessivereader (complete | 34,079 | E)

Vietnam vet Bucky is just trying to get a hot meal, and maybe a job, in the small town of Hope, but the local law enforcement has other ideas. When their brutality triggers a flashback, Bucky snaps and escapes from their custody. Hunted, exhausted, injured, he finds shelter for the night next to a cabin in the middle of the woods. He means to be long gone before the cabin's occupant awakes. Things don't turn out quite the way he expected.

All of Your Love is Sunlight by canistakahari, WarlockInTraining (oneshot | 22,657 | E)

Sometimes the path to happiness involves bad timing turned good, a butt plant, and a little everyday magic. For Steve and Bucky, it's all that and more.

if you're looking for jesus (then get on your knees) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 18,171 | E)

S.H.I.E.L.D Agent Bucky Barnes is captured on a mission and meets Commander Steve Rogers, the erstwhile Captain America.

A Year in the Life of Sarge's Person by Angst_BuriTTo, BlueSimplicity (complete | 189,125 | E)

This is the tale of a year in the life of Sarge’s person, AKA James Buchanan Barnes, as he tries to recover from everything that’s happened to him over the past eighty years. During that time, he is forced to deal with bad therapists, people with their own agendas, memories he doesn’t want, horrible losses from his past and almost insurmountable odds.

But this is also the story of all the crazy people Bucky meets along the way, who help him when he’s at his lowest, point him in the right direction when he feels lost, make him laugh, grow to love him for who he is, and most importantly, give him hope when he needs it most.

It’s a long and difficult journey, as Bucky works not just to let go of his past, but to also rebuild his own identity and a future for himself. And with Sarge at his side, Bucky slowly comes to realize that not everything he once loved is lost, and if he can just have enough faith in himself and those around him, he might, just might, get his very own happy ending.

Bucky IS Sarge’s person after all. As the once abandoned puppy Bucky saved one night from freezing to death, he knows, more than anyone, just how much Bucky deserves it.

Let this be light work by caughtinanocean (oneshot | 8,628 | T)

On the run with Sam and Natasha, Steve finds the words to describe his commitment to Bucky. As with most of Steve’s decisions, there are unintended consequences.

July

everything the water can be by jehans (oneshot | 5,622 | E)

“So,” Bucky continues slowly, his blush deepening, “you get the best time today. . . ,” he takes a breath, drops his voice even lower, and soughs, “I’ll let you take off my clothes. All of ‘em.”

Shit.

Steve suddenly realizes what a fucking moron he is for having initiated this line of flirtation here at the pool and right before practice.

it don't mean a thing (if it ain't got that swing) by carissima (oneshot | 6,375 | M)

“Alright,” Bucky says and stands with his hands on his hips and gives Steve a narrowed glare. “Hit me. What went wrong?”

“I uh, don’t actually know?” Steve says, and now he feels an embarrassed flush creep over his cheeks. “She stood me up.”

Bucky stares at him. Blinks once. And stares some more. “You,” he says flatly. “You got stood up?”

An Act of Kindness by greyhavensking (complete | 12,716 | T)

In which Bucky Barnes ignores personal boundaries and Steve Rogers gets increasingly flustered.

(Or five times Bucky manhandled Steve + one time it was the other way around)

crowding the hitter by rooonil_waazlib (complete | 12,917 | E)

But the trash monsters are coming closer, and Bucky’s going to be pissed if he has to get his grate replaced tomorrow.

He turns off the panini press, heads into his bedroom, and pulls his college baseball bat out of the closet, pausing only to pull on the slacks he’d just taken off. He’s going to go defend his shop, and he’s not going to do it in his underpants.

August

time on my hands (could be time spent with you) by thedoubteriswise (oneshot | 23,024 | M)

"You doing okay, kid?”

Steve releases a breath, deciding how honest he wants to be. No point in lying. No point in telling the truth, either. "Glad to see you."

"That’s not what I asked, but same to you, punk."

Quench by AidaRonan (complete | 9,417 | E)

Or the one where archeology intern Bucky Barnes meets actual archeologist Steve Rogers and reaches levels of thirst scientists once believed to be theoretically impossible.

I'll hold on a little tighter (maybe you'll stay the night) by glittercake (complete | 10,393 | E)

"No strings. I ain't got time for strings." Steve murmurs.

Bucky nods helplessly.

"Be discreet." Steve continues kissing his neck and talking, now also rubbing and squeezing his thigh. "Condoms, always. Back out anytime you want. And sweetheart—"

"Hm?" Bucky hums in a delirious daze as Steve works all the way down to his collarbone and bites, making Bucky jolt forward.

"I like it rough, don't do it any other way. If that ain't your thing, we gotta call it off right now."

this love immortal is an assassin's delight by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 12,954 | E)

After the Battle of New York, Captain America refuses to work for S.H.I.E.L.D and remains in New York. Alexander Pierce activates the Winter Soldier to handle the situation and unknowingly signs Hydra’s death warrant.

Watch With Glittering Eyes by Kellyscams (oneshot | 6,746 | E)

Witch Steve and familiar Bucky have a fun night together.

Happiness is a handful by pamurai (oneshot | 1,274 | E)

Steve's pecs compel Bucky's memories to return faster. Together they explore what makes them happy and what the future holds.

(It's Steve's tits.)

It's Been a Long, Long Time by non_tiembo_mala (oneshot | 11,862 | E)

It's been a thing almost as long as they have, since before Steve grew up and filled out his serum-given body. Connection, comfort-- whatever it is, it grounded them then and, as it turns out, it grounds them now, many decades and disasters later.

Or: the one where Steve's beautiful tits help Bucky get his memory back.

September

Do What You Did by Bentrumors (oneshot | 1,075 | E)

“Come finish what you started,” Bucky mumbles into the pillow.

“I can’t. Sam’s waiting for me.”

Bucky turns his head and glares at Steve through bleary eyes. “You’re going to leave me hanging?”

Steve shrugs.

a slow start by birdjay (oneshot | 2,689 | E)

It’s a gorgeous sight, Steve spread out like this. He wants to lick, wants to bite, wants inside where he’s hot and tight. Wants to make Steve make that gasping noise that he loves so much.

All in good time.

An Apple in the American Pie by Kimra (oneshot | 2,479 | M)

At the end of CAWS Steve runs off with Bucky, and also falls pregnant. Go figure.

October

All the sweetness and all the glory by pes (oneshot | 2,916 | M)

“Do you know,” Steve began softly, mindful of the sleeping child, “I can’t tell whom she takes after the most just yet, but one thing I know for certain. This,” he said, tracing Annie’s dimpled chin with the very tip of his finger, “this she got from your side of the family.”

(In which a visit to Bucky's new niece kindles all sorts of feelings, and a precious little secret comes to light.)

Give Up the Ghost by humapuma (complete | 44,541 | E)

Bucky Barnes is an anomaly; he's physically an Omega but has the body of an Alpha. He has a lot of the stubbornness too. Steve Rogers is an anomaly; he's a romantic and he believes in the traditions his parents raised him with. There's something about Steve that makes Bucky's Omega brain say, Mine. There's something about Bucky that makes Steve want to be more than a little reckless.

ever just as sure by ariadne_odair (complete | 7,938 | M)

“Your boyfriend is here.”

It’s take Steve a second to realise Sharon is talking to him; it then takes him even longer to respond and to stop choking on his reply. “I - er, is he?”

Sharon eyes him up like he’s lost his mind. “Well, the guy currently parking his crappy car in our car park is definitely not mine.”

Steve and Bucky are idiots. They're also in love. Obnoxiously so. Alternatively titled: Five times someone has a front-row seat to Steve and Bucky's relationship.

Where the Heart Is by Chancy_Lurking (oneshot | 12,133 | T)

“Couples are more than welcome to room together.”

Steve freezes up, feels his eyes go a little wide before he can help himself. He stumbles over his words, “Oh, I—No, we’re not—”

“We’re not going to give you any trouble about that,” Fury presses, turning to squint at them head on. “Stark likes to say we’re opened minded and close-knit. Your private life is your business, but you don’t need to hide here, understand?”

Steve goes to reiterate that they’re not a couple, but startles when Bucky’s hand settles on the small of his back. He looks at him like he’s lost his mind, but Bucky’s just smiling at him. “Never can be too careful these days,” he says.

(Steve and Bucky pretend to be a couple when they move in, but at some point, it stops feeling like pretend.)

Like gifts under trees by pes (oneshot | 6,528 | T)

Inside the leather satchel, bundled in a few layers of cloth, was the smooth swell of an egg. A dragon egg, dark, and shiny, and fluttering with life in its makeshift nest.

“I think it’s about to hatch,” Steve breathed, clutching the bag to his chest helplessly.

Bucky didn’t need to think twice.

Your voice is all I hear somehow, calling out winter by chaosmanor (oneshot | 13,597 | E) - stucky/symbiote

Bucky is remarkably functional, considering what he's been through. Then, sometimes, it's like a sullen killer is wearing his skin.

(Or, the fic no one asked for, where Bucky has a symbiote named Winter and everyone has to work out how to live together.)

Misery I Need by mwestbelle (oneshot | 2,592 | M)

"You've seen his file, right?" She let out a low whistle. "What a shame. To do that to such a pretty omega."

They thought he was asleep. She didn't mean anything by it, and if she knew that he'd heard he's sure she would have apologized. But it's her voice that he hears whenever he feels out of place, uncomfortable in his skin. What a shame.

OR a different take on Steve Rogers' body issues

November

Simple by Ellessey (oneshot | 4,043 | T)

Steve's holding Bucky's drink out to him and he's looking at Bucky in that way he does. It makes Bucky want to cover his face. It makes him want to peek inside of himself and see if he can actually spot the butterflies.

"Here you go," Steve says. "Extra hot, so be careful, 'kay?"

"Okay, thanks..." Bucky says. And then he has to swallow again, and his throat feels awfully tight but he practiced this last night and he can do this. He can. He opens his mouth again and adds, "Steve."

Every morning Bucky walks to a nearby coffee shop as a kind of exposure therapy. He isn't going there for the coffee, and he's not actually sure he's going there for the therapy anymore, but he's definitely going there for Steve Rogers' smile.

Every Move the Feeling Follows by thepinupchemist (oneshot | 5,412 | E)

After the Avengers win the battle against Thanos, everyone gets to go home. Steve and Bucky retire, get mated, and get surprised. They have a baby, and they get to start their lives again.

not idiots at all by icoulddothisallday (oneshot | 2,297 | M)

Somehow, despite the seventy years in the ice and his overwhelming fame and popularity, Steve’s words have never been recorded anywhere. He suspects that he has Peggy to thank for that. The words have always been a source of embarrassment for Steve, for one reason or another. When he was a child, his words were just another thing that set him apart from others. Other kids had common words - mostly names, as that was what you were supposed to say to a stranger. Some kids got dealt generic words like excuse me and good morning. Steve’s words didn’t make much sense, the ones that did were...not intended for polite conversation.

Thursday Nights with Bucky Barnes by Ellessey (oneshot | 4,662 | T)

Steve has a comfortable, well-worn routine for his Thursday nights, until the old man who runs the laundromat breaks his hip.

Then Steve has Bucky instead.

Rare Is This Love (Keep It Covered) by histoires_eternelles, musette22 (complete | 66,773 | E)

It's 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

rather be a lover than a fighter (found peace in your violence) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 4,355 | E)

The dust has settled, and the world is healing. Men are too.

The Soldier's Revenge by LeeHan (complete | 76,406 | E)

Bucky Barnes turns himself in to SHIELD two years after dragging Captain America out of the Potomac River. He was deprogrammed in Wakanda and has been hunting down Hydra ever since, but he needs help if he wants to take proper revenge on his captors. He turns to his old enemies: SHIELD and the Avengers, but it'll take more than a few words to win their trust after the Winter Soldier brought SHIELD to its knees not long before. Now at SHIELD's mercy, the only thing that stands between Bucky and his revenge is the approval of Captain Rogers: a self-righteous asshole that Bucky barely knows.

All Those Little Pieces by Ellessey (complete | 40,516 | M)

Steve has never forgotten Bucky Barnes. Not their childhood together, not the horror of the moment Bucky fell too far for him to reach, and not the way he's loved him all the while.

Bucky has forgotten everything about Steve, at least at first. But there's still a feeling there, warm in his chest—and maybe now that he's found his way back to Steve Rogers and his sunny apartment, there's a chance it might turn into something more.

December

No fics for this month, since it was a difficult one.

In any case, I hope you enjoy all of these recs above and have a great 2020! <3

#mod picks #mod julia

108 notes · View notes

spine-buster · 5 years

Text

Alone, Together | Chapter 24 | Morgan Rielly

Everybody was in an awful mood. The Leafs had played like shit against Tampa Bay, and it left everybody with a bad taste in their mouth. It was almost like they hadn’t even tried; nobody had shown up to play that night. Despite Auston and Connor scoring, nobody even entertained the possibility of a comeback. The boys were getting shown why Tampa was in first place by a mile and they knew that.

Briony watched Morgan give a post-game interview from the warmth of his apartment, after having gone to work that day. He had called her and said he’d liked if she came over. She didn’t protest. She was staying the night more and more lately, unable to deny him – she even had outfits for work and casual clothes hanging in his closet just in case. Angie said, “That probably means he wants you to move in with him,” and Ashley said, “The only way you’re ever moving out of our apartment is if you’re moving in with Morgan instead,” and Bee didn’t know what to think. She’d stopped her apartment search momentarily because Ashley found out and told her that, and they had a talk about it, and Bee said “What if I even just start paying you $500 a month” and Ashley absolutely refused and Bee gave up. She had a personal rule, if you will, that she wouldn’t even consider moving in with a guy until at least a year into the relationship. But she and Morgan had been through a lot together. He was there for her during the break-in. He was there for her when her mom died. She had already met his family.

And, well…Morgan was Morgan. He made her re-think a lot of things about herself.

At the beginning of the relationship, she’d wanted to take things slow and not put a label on it. Now, she couldn’t imagine why she’d been so dumb. There was no reason for her – for them – to take it slow, because they were in a spot now she could only dream of being in at this point in her life. Comfortable. Loving. Supportive. Loyal. Encouraging. Ready to take on the world together. She never defined herself based on another person. With Bee, it was always me, myself, and I, because that’s how it had been most of her life. But now, her outlook changed. Her priorities changed. Her life changed. With another person by her side, completely by her side, encouraging her to do all these amazing things and go for anything and everything she wanted, she couldn’t help but feel less like her life was about herself and more that her life was about them. Together. Two people, not one person, growing together and experiencing life.

She wanted that. Oh lord, did she want that. And she didn’t want that with anybody else besides Morgan.

From the kitchen counter, her phone began to ring. She got off the couch slowly, tired from the long workday, and saw that Angie was calling her. Knowing how much Angie liked to be in bed by 9:30 on a work night, Bee thought it was weird she was calling. “Shouldn’t you be asleep already, you old hag?” Bee used the words Angie called herself.

“Are you on Twitter right now?” her voice was frantic.

“What? No. Why would I be?”

“Bee – I – there’s this video --”

“-- what video?”

“-- of the game tonight. Someone’s accusing Morgan of yelling something homophobic to a referee.”

“What?!” Bee couldn’t believe what she just heard.

“It’s all over Twitter, Bee,” Angie said. Bee looked back towards the TV, only to see Morgan’s interview had ended and the panel back on. Did they mention it in the interview? Did they ask about it? “They’re saying he called the referee the f-word.”

“WHAT?!” Bee exclaimed, her heart dropping into the pit of her stomach. “Morgan would never --”

“I know, Bee, but they caught something being said on a TV microphone. I don’t even – I don’t even know if it’s him, but a TV mic caught something and --”

“Angie, he would never – he would never --”

“Bee?” she heard Mason’s voice call her name, making her realize she was on speakerphone. “Bee, NHL public relations sent out a tweet saying they’re investigating.”

She ran towards her laptop and opened Twitter in a new tab, finding the tweet almost immediately. The NHL is aware of reports that a homophobic slur was used during the Maple Leafs-Lightning game. The League is investigating the incident and will have no further comment until this investigation is completed. Bee felt sick to her stomach. “There was no way it was Morgan. None. He c-c-couldn’t – he w-wouldn’t –”

“The Leafs PR sent out a tweet too,” Mason continued. “Is Morgan home yet?”

“No. I’m gonna call him right--” she said, only to hear the door unlocking and see Morgan walk through the door. She immediately hung up the phone on Angie and Mason and saw the dejected look on his face.

He barely looked up at her, feeling like complete shit because of how the game turned out. “Can we just go to bed, please? I want this day to end, like, immediately.”

“Morgan --” Bee tried to say, but she was cut off harshly by the sound of his ringtone.

Morgan rolled his eyes as he looked down at his phone. She saw his eyebrows furrow at the name running across the screen. He swiped to answer. “Kyle?”

Bee stood stoic as she tried to study the look on Morgan’s face, even though he kept his head down. She obviously couldn’t hear what Kyle Dubas was saying on the other end but the longer Morgan was on the phone, the more his eyebrows furrowed. Then, suddenly, his head shot up, and Bee could see a look of shock mixed with fear on his face. “They’re saying I said what?” he said out loud, and her stomach twisted into knots. “Kyle – I didn’t – I would never – okay, okay. Yeah. I’ll be right over,” he said, hanging up. He looked towards Bee, fear taking over the shock. She saw his chest starting to heave from breathing heavily. “Briony, I didn’t – I didn’t do it.”

“I know Morgan,” she said, running over to him.

“I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it,” he kept repeating.

“I know baby. I know you didn’t.”

“Why are they saying – what – why are they? Why are they saying I did?” he stuttered out, unable to form a coherent thought. “I didn’t say that word at all.”

“I know you didn’t, Morgan. And I know you wouldn’t. What did Kyle say?”

“I have – I have to go back to the arena,” he looked around him like he didn’t know where the door was.

“Okay. Let me grab my stuff and we’ll go,” she assured him, grabbing her coat from the closet near the door.

“Briony – I – you have to work tomorrow,” he said.

“So?”

“You can’t miss – I don’t want you to--”

“Shut it Morgan,” she said, slipping on a pair of boots. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. “Let’s go.”

The drive over was eerily quiet. Morgan tried to focus on the streets and the drive but his mind kept wandering to the accusations. The video. What everybody thought he said. What he didn’t say. God, he hadn’t even checked his phone since he got in the car to come home – God knows how many DMs he’d gotten. God knows how many people were tagging him in tweets. He felt sick to his stomach that anybody would think he’d said a word like that.

They took the usual route into Scotiabank Arena, except Morgan pushed a different elevator button to take them to the offices rather than the clubs and family floor. Bee hadn’t let go of his hand since they got out of the car. She squeezed it to get his attention and he looked down at her. “It’s all going to be okay,” she said softly.

His eyes were already red. He shook his head in disbelief that this was even happening in the first place. “I didn’t say it.”

“I know. And that’s why it’s going to be okay,” she assured him. “If they’re investigating they’re going to find out you didn’t say it and it’s going to be okay.”

“Briony…” he shook his head. “I can’t…I can’t deal with this. I would never say something like that,” he kept repeating the sentiment, because it was all he could think.

As the elevator doors opened, Bee saw Brendan Shanahan, Kyle Dubas, and another man standing together. Brendan had his suit jacket off, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and Kyle looked pretty much the same. When they looked over to the elevator, they stopped discussing whatever they were talking about. “Hi Morgan,” Brendan said.

“Mr. Shanahan, I didn’t say it,” he said, his voice desperate as he stepped out of the elevator. “I would never use that language sir. There’s no way – Steve, I approached you asking to be able to march in the Pride Parade in June --”

“It’s alright Morgan, it’s alright,” Brendan assured him, extending his arm as he smiled briefly at the two of them. “Let’s go into Kyle’s office, okay? Have you seen the video?”

“No. I had just walked in the door – and then Kyle called…and Briony --” he gestured to her, “I think she might have seen it on Twi--”

“Morgan, it’s going to be okay. Don’t worry,” Kyle assured him as he pat his shoulder. “C’mon, let’s go into my office.”

As they sat down on the plush chairs in Kyle’s office, he opened his laptop screen and put his phone down on his desk. Bee assumed he was waiting for a phone call from someone – whether that was going to come through to the office phone or his cell phone she had no idea. She shifted her chair so she was closer to Morgan, rubbing his back gently to calm him down. The third man that Bee didn’t recognize was tapping away on his phone. “Have you checked your social media portals yet?” he asked Morgan. Morgan shook his head. He looked at Briony. “Have you, Ms. McTavish?”

Brendan must have picked up on the shocked look on her face – this random man knowing who she was but her not knowing who he was – and interjected briefly. “Briony, this is Steve Keogh. He’s the head of public relations for the Maple Leafs.”

“Oh. Um, no, I haven’t,” she said, setting her phone on the table. “I mean…I – I’ve been contacted before on Instagram and Twitter. Mostly Instagram though.”

“What do you mean contacted?”

“Like, people have sent me DMs – or they’ve tried to now that my profile is private – and, um, that’s where a lot of them try to contact me…you know, once people started to find out Morgan and I were together.” She was totally word-vomiting and she knew it, but she didn’t understand why her social media portals would matter in all of this.

“Do you mind if I check your Instagram?” he asked.

She couldn’t exactly say no, so she unlocked her phone and went to her DM requests so Steve could see them. “You stupid fat bitch,” he read out the message. Kyle’s and Brendan’s eyes immediately went wide; Brendan even started to shake his head. “You and your homophobe boyfriend are the fucking worst I hope you both fucking burn in hell,” he swiped out of the message screen and onto the next one. “You and your boyfriend are both disgusting pieces of shit. I bet you caused this. You’re so disgusting and the way you are creating drama in Morgan’s life is gross and you should be ashamed of yourself,” he continued.

“Please stop reading,” Morgan snarled, visibly upset.

“You’re a fat ass c…oh no, I’m not saying that word out loud,” Steve’s eyes went wide now.

“It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, don’t worry,” Bee quipped.

Brendan looked at her flabbergasted. He turned to Steve. “Is it what I think it is?”

“You’re a fat ass…see you next Tuesday,” Steve cringed. Brendan shook his head. “I’m not reading any more of these,” Steve put down her phone. “If hers sound like this you can imagine his.”

“Okay, we’re going to talk about this calmly and rationally,” Kyle said, taking charge and looking directly at Morgan. He swivelled his laptop so Morgan could watch the video in question. He let it loop a few times – at least three – shaking his head the entire time. Kyle eventually stopped the video and turned his laptop back to face him. “Tell me what happened. Everything.”

Bee listened as Morgan recounted the play in question. He talked about the hooking call he thought the referee should have called, but didn’t, which was clearly visible in the video because of his hand motions. When the referee didn’t call it, he obviously got upset. He probably swore, yeah. Dropped an F-bomb. Anybody would when it could have been a five-on-three near the end of the period. But he never said that word. Never. The referee was close to him. He would have heard it. He would have called something on him if he did, or thrown Morgan out of the game, but he didn’t. Then Tampa had scored shorthanded, making it 5-1. And he was angry. He was fucking livid. But he never used the word in question. Never. Kyle kept asking questions. So did Brendan and Steve. “But what was said, Morgan?” “Are you absolutely sure you didn’t say it?” “Could you have said it in the heat of the moment?” “You’re positive, Morgan?” He was positive. Positive. Unequivocal. He didn’t say it. Not when he was angry, not in the heat of the moment. Never. He never said it.

Then the office phone rang loudly, interrupting their conversation. “That’s Colin calling,” Kyle said, lifting the receiver and pressing a button. Bee could only imagine that was someone important. “Hello Mr. Campbell. Kyle here. I have Brendan and Steve and Morgan here. You’re on speaker.”

Colin asked for the audio recordings from the various microphones that were around the ice for TV purposes. Kyle mentioned they already sent them. Colin thanked them, apparently not realizing they were already sent. Then he asked to speak to Brendan. Bee took the opportunity to grab Morgan’s hand under the desk, to try to get him to look at her so she could tell him everything was going to be okay, but he was too preoccupied with the phone conversation to even notice. She kept her hand there, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb, but he didn’t notice. Steve was back on his phone. Kyle stayed quiet while Brendan spoke to Colin Campbell.

By the time the phone call had ended, Steve had been waiting to show everyone something on his phone for a while. Bee noticed that it was 11pm. Morgan was stiff as Brendan hung up the phone. “Somebody’s got a slowed down recording,” he said. “These Twitter people. They’re trying to analyze it. This guy who uploaded the slowed down video said ‘After giving it a long listen, I am convinced that Rielly did not say "Fucking F-word on the ice, and what was heard was two separate voices: One that says “Fuck” and another that says “Rag it”. I believe the first to be Rielly’s and the second from someone from the TB bench.’”

Brendan whipped his head towards Morgan. “Is that true?”

“It could be true,” he said. “I mean, I swore. And judging by the play somebody from the bench could have definitely been telling him to rag the puck to kill the penalty.”

Steve played the video loudly for everyone to hear. For Bee, it was clear as day. There were two different voices. The second one didn’t even sound like Morgan at all. It didn’t have his slightly nasally Canadian twang, none of it. “It’s two people,” Brendan mumbled to himself as they listened to the video over and over again. “It’s two people. It’s two voices.”

“The microphones will pick up on that, hopefully,” Steve added.

“I didn’t say it,” Morgan whispered, voice full of dejection and desolation at the events unfolding. He brought his hand up to rub at his lips, and Bee swore she could see his eyes well with tears. “I didn’t fucking say it.”

“Morgan, it’s okay. The microphone recording will show it was two different people,” Brendan assured him.

The phone rang again. Kyle wasted no time in answering it. “We’re still here Colin,” he said.

“Okay, this is what’s going to happen,” this Colin Campbell said on the other end. “I’ve got Brad Meier here. We’re going to interview him, and after we’re done interviewing him we’re going to interview Morgan. So once we’re done with Brad, we’re going to call you back and you can come next door and we’ll interview Morgan.”

They were next-fucking-door?! Bee looked at everyone, and they were nodding their heads. “Alright Colin, sounds good. We’ll be in my office waiting so just call back when you’re ready for Morgan.” Colin hung up without another word, and Kyle looked at Morgan. “I’m going to get a recording of your statement. Just in case.”

And so he recorded a statement for Kyle, recounting practically every second of the play. And then, like clockwork, Colin called back and asked Morgan to go over. So he did, and Bee was left with Kyle and Brendan and Steve, and they asked her what she did, and where she went to school, and how she was liking Scotiabank, and joked that maybe one of them should send their investment portfolio her way so they could make more money, and she tried to laugh, but all she could think about was Morgan being interrogated and adamantly denying every saying that word. Then Steve gave her some tips for social media – the gist being to ignore it, which she was already doing – and she thanked him, and Kyle and Brendan assured her everything would be okay, and she thanked them. She knew they were trying to get her mind off things. She appreciated it. But she just wanted to see Morgan. She wanted to hold his hand. She wanted to tell him everything was going to be okay.

It was 12:30 in the morning when Morgan finally appeared back in Kyle’s office, and again, like clockwork, Colin called and said they had everything they needed and that they’d be in contact. When? Who knew. But they’d be in contact. Tomorrow morning? Tomorrow afternoon? Were they going to review the material now? Tomorrow? They’d be in contact.

Kyle patted Morgan on the back. “Go get some sleep, alright? We’ll talk about it in the morning. You need to rest.”

That was going to be impossible. All Morgan did was nod his head and they said their goodbyes and by the time he and Bee got back to his place, it was almost 1am, and she knew he wasn’t going to sleep. There was no way. He plopped himself down on the couch and put his head in his hands, and Bee wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Everything is going to be okay, Morgan.”

That’s when it happened. He finally broke down. After holding it together for so long at the arena and through the interview, his emotions and fatigue got the best of him as tears streamed down his face. His body even began to shake from the stress of it all and Bee tried to squeeze him tighter to make it stop, but it was no use. “I didn’t say it,” he managed to get out. “Why does everyone think I did? I swore, that’s it. I didn’t say that word.”

“I know baby, I know,” she cooed, running her fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm him. “You can’t look at what everybody is saying. You know what you said and you know what you didn’t.”

“But why? Why does everybody think I said it?”

“Shhhhhh,” she cooed as she brought a hand up to caress his cheek. “They’re going to find that you didn’t. Don’t worry. All the evidence is there for them.”

Before he could say anything else, her phone rang. When she pulled it out of her pocket, she saw Shirley’s name flash across the screen. “Baby, your mom is calling.”

Morgan’s eyes went wide. “Fuck, I haven’t even checked my phone,” he said, wiping his eyes quickly. He grabbed Bee’s phone from her and picked up. “Mum…mum I didn’t say it. I didn’t say it.”

Bee listened to the conversation, Morgan unwilling to let her go anywhere and Bee unwilling to leave. He spoke to his parents for a while, crying on the phone to them and explaining the entire situation – what happened on the ice, the phone call he got from Kyle, what they did at the arena, and the interview with the NHL. Then came the texts from the teammates that were sent earlier in the night – from Jake, John, Tyler, Auston, Naz, Fred, everybody – and he responded to all of them, and then Jake called, and they spoke about it, and Tyler called Bee, because Morgan’s line was busy, and she explained to him the situation, and he told her to tell Morgan to call him in the morning, and then Aryne called saying she couldn’t sleep, wondering if everything was okay, and it was just a lot. Everybody wanted to know what was happening, and she understood why, but she could only relive it so many times. So she stopped responding and calling to everybody, and when she finally focused back on Morgan, she saw his body shaking and him scrolling through Twitter.

“NO!” she screamed, running towards him and yanking his phone out of his grip. “Don’t – Morgan – NO,” she stressed, wanting to throw his phone – both their phones – out the window and onto the street so a car could run over them. “Why would you – why would you --”

“-- They hate me and they think I did it --”

“Stop it – no – listen to me,” she grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. “Those people can go fuck themselves. The people that matter – the people that matter – know you would never say that shit. Me. Your teammates. Your bosses. They all know you’d never say that word. Fuck those people. They’re the same people that send me DMs on Instagram. Are you really going to listen to them?”

“They keep retweeting the video. They keep – they keep --”

“They’re wrong,” she said definitively. “They’re all fucking wrong, and you know it. Don’t listen to them.”

“Bee…Bee…” he hiccupped out, tears still streaming down his face, unable to say anything else.

She wrapped her arms around his body again, another attempt to calm him down, and with each shake of his body from the stress and fatigue and everything else, the more her heart broke for him. This was the worst kind of psychological torture he could go through and she knew it was tearing him apart. And no matter how long she held him; no matter how long she played with his hair or cooed in his ear to calm him; no matter how long they lay on the couch together and she told him everything was going to be okay – nothing worked. His body kept shaking. He kept intermittently crying. His eyes became redder and the bags became deeper and she wanted so desperately to make everything okay.

And before she knew it, it was 7am. They hadn’t slept. Bee called her boss, Mark Travers, and asked for the day off, promising she’d come in on Saturday and get his coffee for an entire week. Being a hockey fan, he understood. She was lucky. Morgan decided to try and call Kyle and Brendan again, to see if they had any new information, but they didn’t. Bee tried to make him toast, but he wouldn’t eat. His teammates began waking up, and the phone calls and texts commenced again. No eating. Another phone call from Shirley and Andy. Angie and Mason offering to come over and cook breakfast.

And then the tweet from the NHL Public Relations department. 12:41pm. Following a thorough investigation, the National Hockey League has determined that Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Morgan Rielly did not direct a homophobic slur at referee Brad Meier during last night’s game with the Tampa Bay Lightning at Scotiabank Arena.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Bee could see Morgan physically decompress. She saw his shoulders unstiffen, his jaw unclench, his hands stop wringing, and his brows stop furrowing. Morgan Rielly did not direct a homophobic slur. Did not.

Did not.

A phone call from Brendan and Kyle. “We’re going to have a press conference. Can you get to the arena?” A shower. A grey suit, no tie. A casual black dress. Another trip to Scotiabank Arena. An espresso to wake up. A chat with Kyle, Brendan, and Steve. “Can I please sit in on the press conference?” A seat directly at the front, near the door, so Morgan would see her first when he emerged. Reporters. Cameras. News outlets. Microphones. Lights. A press conference. Kyle being honest about the events of last night. Morgan reiterating he was confident that he didn’t say that word. Morgan saying it was hard not to make a statement because of how strongly he felt about it. Kyle reiterating how there was no place for homophobia in hockey. Morgan reiterating how there was no place for homophobia in hockey.

She could tell how tired he was by the way he repeated himself and stumbled through some of his answers. If the reporters couldn’t tell, they could definitely see by the size of the bags under his eyes and the physical fatigue his body looked like it endured for the last eighteen hours. But like any reporter dealing with the Leafs, they asked question after question until Steve finally put an end to it. He helped usher Bee to the back with Morgan, where they retreated back into Kyle’s office. “It’s all over now,” Kyle said, amongst other things. “Go grab some food. Get some sleep. You need to rest for the game tomorrow.”

It was 4pm by the time they returned to Morgan’s apartment. He was exhausted. So was Bee. The mental toll was much greater than the physical one, but his body still ached from shaking practically all night and being so tense. They ordered food. Jake, John, and Tyler called to ask about the press conference. Andy and Shirley called to speak to them as well and make sure everything was okay. Morgan ate some of the food they ordered, but not enough as he should have. He just wanted to go to bed. So by 6pm, Bee drew together the curtains, closed the bedroom door, and climbed into bed with him.

“I never want to have to go through that again,” he said as she snuggled into him.

“Shhhh, it’s okay. It’s all over now,” she cooed, cradling his face in her hands and giving him a quick kiss. “It’s all over. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“This sort of stuff lasts for a long time. I don’t know…” he mumbled.

“Shhh,” she cooed again, giving him another kiss. “You didn’t say it, and now everyone knows. That’s it. It’s over. You can’t let it stress you out, baby.”

“Briony?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you…” he hesitated. “Can you just like…lay on top of me? Like a blanket? You know like how I do with you sometimes?”

He didn’t need to ask twice. She lifted herself on top of him and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She buried her face under his chin and he nestled his own face against hers. They lay on the bed silent for a while until Morgan piped up again. “Briony?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry I put you through this.”

She lifted her head so she could get a good look at him. “Why are you apologizing?” she ran her thumb along his lips tenderly. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Not just today. Everything,” he admitted. “Today, the messages you get…everything. It’s all because of me. And I’m sorry.”

“What are you even talking about?” she asked. “It’s not because of you at all. Morgan…I would take them ten times over if meant I could be with you.”

“Really?”

“You know how you told me on your birthday that you’re in this?” she asked. He nodded his head. “Well I’m in this too. I don’t care about the messages. And I know your character…where you came from, who you are, who you want to be. I’m going to be here for you, always, whether you like it or not.”

He wrapped his arms around her tighter. A small tear rolled down his cheek and Bee padded it away with her thumb before giving him a kiss. He quickly settled into what Bee thought was sleep – his heartbeat steadied, his eyes closed. It wasn’t until he mumbled a few words that she realized he was still awake. “I want you to be here all the time Briony.”

She wasn’t sure if it was him or the sleep talking. “What?” she whispered, even though she had a pretty good idea of what he meant.

“I want you here all the time. At my place. Will you at least think about it?”

Lying there on top of him, sheltered away and closed off from the rest of the city, from the cameras and the microphones and hockey; lying there with Morgan, not Morgan Rielly, so defeated and so vulnerable yet so stoic and so honourable; lying there as Briony McTavish, with five year plans and life rules not meant to be broken but never having experienced a love like this before; lying in bed together, in each other’s arms, each other’s bodies, Briony said the only thing she could say – the only thing she wanted to say – despite her rules and her five year plans and anything else she used as an excuse or a way to plan out her life.

“Yes.”

#morgan rielly #morgan rielly imagine #morgan rielly imagines #morgan rielly fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs imagines #toronto maple leafs fic #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fic #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fic #alone together series

165 notes · View notes

chibivesicle · 5 years

Text

Golden Kamuy chapters 218 & 219. Everything is wrong in regards to panning for gold.

Chapter 218 starts off with the man that Sugimoto saved from the bear. Which really as soon as he mentioned the scrape on his forehead was a recent injury (and no obvious signs of being chewed on by a freakkin’ bear) I’m going to go with the fact that there is no bear. Or that this man IS the bear. Why? Based on what he thinks about Sugimoto. That Sugimoto is so nice!

You know who thinks Sugimoto is nice? Criminals! Henmei and the con artist Suzukawa. Anyone who thinks Sugimoto is nice is almost always a dangerous person. His brother apparently catches up to him and we learn his name is Heita (who really has to be a dangerous person).

Shiraishi then asks if he’s a gold prospector due to his fancy boots and Sugimoto then smiles awkwardly as he admits his poor experience searching for gold himself. The older brother Taka is immediately suspicious as he looks at Sugimoto and Shiraishi, while Heita is just more interested in their plans.

I’m sorry Heita but your facial expression this panel really is making me nervous and Sugimoto is terrible at reading creepy and dangerous people in situations like these where he either saves or protects them.

Heita declares that there is still plenty of gold dust to be found while an younger brother? and his older brother are suspicious, since they do have 2 rifles, bayonets, the fact that Vasily also carries a pistol and Asirpa has arrows and knives. The putative father points out that robbers wouldn’t save them.

The next page reveals a very attractive woman who has come out to inquire about their unique looking group. She looks like she could be a seductive woman and she remarks on Vasily as a foreigner and Shiraishi winks at her to define them as comrades while Sugimoto annoyed decides to define them as a rabble in english.

I would take this to mean that Shiraishi’s using a more positive spin on their group while Sugimoto is distancing himself from Vasily. The longer they travel with Vasily, I can’t help but think Sugimoto will see him more and more like Ogata. Silent and observing them. Taka then angrily tells Noriko to head back to their tent and she seems annoyed by his order.

There are a few pages of gold prospecting 101 from Heita to Sugimoto and Shiraishi. They try to do things while Asirpa just stays behind on shore giving minimal support by heating water so they can try to work in the freezing cold water. Heita and his family are using a more effective way to look for gold and it seems that perhaps due to their friendship with Asirpa, Sugimoto and Shiraishi may not ever have a shot at finding gold since as an Ainu, she believes this is one of the mistakes people made polluting the river. I think it is a bit of a karmic reminder that they know enough information now, to realize they shouldn’t be doing this and if they do it - it won’t work out for them b/c they are friends with Asirpa and Shiraishi has even had the Kiro’s tour of Karafuto to explain the rights of the native peoples of the east/north.

And Shiraishi even knows this as he declares it just isn’t going to work for them.

Again, Shiraishi is the voice of reason. Just follow through on things Shiraishi, you are getting there!

Just as Sugimoto is about to give up as well, Heita tells them about gold that is mixed with platinum, and his family seems uncomfortable with him telling them so many points that they must have been keeping secret from others.

The next few pages are more description of the rising interest in platinum metals from miners and the value is increasing. It can be used in fountain pens which were become more popular in Japan and now they didn’t need to import it from elsewhere to make the pens. Therefore, Heita says there will be a second “gold” rush in Hokkaido.

Even though he’s factually correct, I would not trust to work with this man! He looks like a smaller version of Usami with those eyes.

Shiraishi and Sugimoto are awestruck and in shock as they look on with sparkle in their eyes as they then firmly hold each others hands and Asirpa looks on from behind them. They don’t even look at each other when they do this, they just instinctively hold hands.

After this Heita notices the bear again. The rest of his family can’t see it and no one else can see it either. Just looking at his facial expression and the creepy font for his statement about the bear getting closer (a likely hallucination) he’s creepy and suspicious as all hell. Furthermore, he says that the bear is the wen kamuy. And Asirpa upon hearing that notices the carved bear case on his belt.

Thanks Noda, I now know who the wen kamuy is - it is Heita.

Sugimoto and Asirpa go to check out where it was spotted. Yet they don’t find any signs of a bear. Asirpa clearly states that there is no sign of a bear yet Sugimoto does not believe it. He fully believes Heita, just like he believed Henmei and Suzukawa (as an Ainu elder).

Then Sugimoto tries to kind of apologize to her by disagreeing with her read on the NO bear status by referring to the white bear a sign that the Mountain gods are angry. Really Sugimoto? This is a half-assed attempt to connect with Asirpa’s own belief system. Yet she just pauses before she states that she wonders . . . The chapter ends with the older father being chewed on by the “bear”.

219 then starts off with Vasily sketching a wren. For a character who I think is a snow leopard, he does seem to have a cat like tendency to patiently stare at a bird. Asirpa seems to becoming more comfortable with him. I feel like this is Ogata 2.0, she has a reason to talk to him about a bird. This also shows that Asirpa is still a non-judgemental person and she really does seem to try to approach others in a neutral fashion despite the fact that Vasily shot Shiraishi in the leg. This is really Ogata 2.0 since she approached Ogata even though he had fought with Sugimoto with a clear intent to cause harm.

To add to the fact to my now official “I am the Wen Kamuy” Heita hypothesis, she remarks that the wren, Cakcak Kamuy should call indicating there the the bear is. The lack of its call means there is no bear near by. The last panel shows a super creepy looking Heita and he’s gotta be the Wen Kamuy. He explains more prospecting tools and terms to Sugimoto and Shiraishi and then he appears to be almost magical as he tells them where they should look for platinum. Sugimoto and Shiraishi are obsessed with him and ready to do whatever he says. He gets them when he agrees to split the money between them equally and they would rather do this than kill the Wen Kamuy. Asirpa then strongly interjects that gold panning polluted the rivers and everyone lost their focus on hunting.

She tries really hard to convince them otherwise, and they completely ignore her (and her uncle’s words that Sugimoto was already told once before) and they beg Heita to help them, Master Heita even as they bow. Asirpa then inquires about his Ainu tobacco case with the bear on it. Heita says he worked with some Ainu and they got along well so they gave it to him as a gift. She replies that it explains why he knew the term Wen Kamuy (and this must also imply that most Japanese in Hokkaido are not familiar with the term).

Sugimoto then tells Heita that they know about the Wen Kamuy and that it has attacked people along the river and then Shiraishi tries to re-assure him that it will be okay b/c Asirpa is their bear hunting specialist to help him relax and help them find the gold.

Asirpa tries to get information from him about the bear’s behaviour and he with the creepiest expression ever - white eyes, Usami shaped says that it has been going on for years and years - implying that this cannot be a single bear that has become a Wen Kamuy.

I assume that he also mumbled this a little since Asirpa turns around in shock as she says “What?” while Shiraishi is encouraging Sugimoto to do his best with him together. As Asirpa looks back at Heita, his head is awkwardly turned to the side, his eyes a shut as he smiles in a scary fashion and his mouth is completely black. A few pages before when Heita was speaking you could see his teeth and his mouth was a light grey. But now, it is totally black which CANNOT be a good sign. He’s no longer human with that facial expression.

The action then shifts to Vasily drawing by himself. Noriko asks him to come with her to draw her in their hut. To give context to her as a character, here are a few tweets form Sei Kobiyama describing the context of her type of character.

The story arc is a combination of Showa pulp fiction and horror stories explaining the creepy factor. Noriko is also a draw like a typical dangerous and seductive woman looking to do something bad, I’m guessing likely towards a male target.

That immediately comes out as she strips down to pose in the nude for Vasily. Based on his furious sketching he seems to have found it very inspiring. However, she catches something out of the corner of her eye and she freaks out!

Some sort of object that she was trying to get rid of is back and at that moment Taka comes to interrupt them and does some major shaming of her behavior. She seems tired of waiting for Taka and he tries to explain to her to wait a little while longer, it is clear that she’s lonely as they try to find the gold. The next page then reveals Heita up in a tree watching them kiss as he licks his own lips and then climbs down the tree face first and leaps off like a flying squirrel. Noda really wants to make it clear that Heita is not okay. I get it. Thanks. Sugimoto and Shiraishi are trying to pan for gold when they realize that Heita is missing and they panic that something bad may happen to him. They tell Asirpa to keep an eye on him as the bear expert. She replies to them if there really even is a bear around.

But either way, she does take their suggestion to go look around. Meanwhile, Taka tells Vasily that Noriko is playing a trick on him by taking his binoculars and placing them over on a mushroom growing off of a tree.

Vasily being the sniper that he is, immediately goes to retrieve his precious binoculars. It is clear that Taka is leading him into a trap, an amappo specifically set up by some local Ainu.

Thankfully, Asirpa manages to save him and points out the signs for others to observe the presence of a trap.

After she speaks Taka appears in the background watching them as it is clear that he sent Vasily there on purpose. Vasily nods, so hopefully this is showing that he can understand a tiny amount of Japanese. She then has a full monologue to Vasily about how she’s been trying to find evidence for the bear that Heita has seen. She went as far as looking beyond the described range, found all of the local bears that are all in hibernation so she knows that he’s outright lying. Since Shiraishi and Sugimoto won’t listen to her - she tells Vasily who can’t even talk back towards her currently.

The big question is now, why is he lying? Besides the obvious fact that he is a killer based on the Sugimoto is nice rule.

Sugimoto and Shiraishi notice a bear off in the distance and go to find Asirpa. They caught a glimpse of its butt. Bear bum spotted. The final page then shows a bear claw around the Father and youngest son, buried in the snow and a final scene of Heita screaming in total shock/fury/I don’t even know what else.

I would guess the bear claw is actually Heita’s foot via “Heita vision”. The editor’s tag line of “I came, I saw, I devoured” instead of conquered makes me think Heita is the bear and a cannibal. So where does all of this action in 218 and 219 leave us? First off this is a creepy horror story arc. People driven by greed to pan for gold in the rivers, out for themselves, not trusting others and wanting to keep others from robbing/killing/stealing from them. Heita is clearly a killer - a Wen Kamuy human. Shiraishi almost gets the idea that panning for gold is a bad idea, but he gives into Heita’s sales pitch. Sugimoto and Shiraishi keep ignoring Asirpa and her observations. I’m obviously biased, but Asirpa is getting a bit of the Ogata treatment/repeat of how Sugimoto ignored her during the Silent Kotan arc. He should know by now that her observational skills are vastly superior to his. I’m hoping Vasily will be a stand in for Ogata and he will help out in their battle against Heita and even Taka and his binoculars may be important to that. Sugimoto and Shiraishi are going to freak out when the horror reveal happens. It would be interesting if Asirpa is forced to fight against Heita. What if she has to kill him out of necessity? That would be a cool plot point where Asirpa takes down the human Wen Kamuy. This would be a philosophically interesting point.

The other major theme is how Japanese people are exploiting the Ainu land and this is a bad idea. I’m sure Heita did not get that Ainu tobacco case through friendly means. Or, the Ainu gave it to him to warn other Ainu that this man is the Wen Kamuy. That would be a totally awesome plot point as well! Just based on the fact that Sugimoto is still not quite getting Asirpa’s background shows that this will likely reveal something deeper between them in regards to Wen Kamuy, different cultures and how to really respect each other. Overall, these types of arcs in Golden Kamuy aren’t my favorite, but they are frequently tied to colonialism and the abuse of the natives as this has overlap with; the bear monster arc with the American, boss and princess; the Silent Kotan arc; how Japanese fisherman were over fishing and Henmei was hiding among them and the central theme of wanting the gold.

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy meta #sugimoto saichi #Shiraishi Yoshitake #asirpa #vasily #gold panning #wen kamuy #bears

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haltandcatchfiretothemax · 5 years

Photo

Original tweet: “Frustration for no season5. Series was about connecting, in the end everyone parted ways. Not asking better ending, just wish different...”

Chris C’s quote tweet response: I actually think you figured out what we were trying to say.

[note: quote tweet response has been deleted, and can’t seem to be found even through the wayback machine :< ]

[CN: spoilers, major character death]

So yesterday was the two year anniversary of this tweet, which I’ve been meaning to write about since maybe November of 2017? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought of it in the past couple years.

Halt and Catch Fire is about many things, and like every thing made to be watched, read, or listened to, it’s going to mean even more things than it’s about, because it’s going to mean something different to every single person who cares about it. But of all the capsule, concise, elevator pitch type descriptions we could come up with, ‘It’s a show about how things end’ would be an accurate one, even if it’s blunt and a little bewildering. Things change and/or end, we lose things and we fall out of touch with people when we move on. The show has always been about that, and that’s why three of the show’s five leads are traumatized, bereaved loners to whom Dallas is not home, and the other two leads are estranged from their families and households in other ways, even though they’re locals. Everyone in the is cast lost, on some level, and in part because they’re struggling to adapt to losses, setbacks, and other changes they’ve had to go through.

By the end of the series, they’ve all experienced another ten years worth of setbacks, but I feel like they’ve all gotten better at coping with life. After prison, divorce, a cross-country move with the little start up that could, seemingly irreconcilable estrangement from his son, nearing bankruptcy, a second marriage, and a heart attack, Bos gets a clean bill of health. And suddenly, it seems, he’s not afraid of retirement, of relaxing, of getting to his last thing. Maybe this is partly because he was there for the last years of Gordon’s life, and he saw the way Gordon worked at facing his health problems and learning to be present head on. Gordon is definitely wiser and much more evolved by his final episode, he isn’t obsessed with his own brilliance or being recognized anymore, and he’s learned how to balance his personal and professional goals. This of course is partly because of and also made possible by his divorce from Donna. Because she’s a mom, Donna has been balancing work and home for years, she’s a veritable pro at it, but by the end of the show she’s figured out how to own her ambition, and she’s become the kind of leader and executive that she was always meant to and also always wanted to be. She’s earned the freedom she wanted from the work-home balance grind, but at some cost, and she eventually learns how to live with that cost. It probably helps that she gets back the most important thing she lost, her relationship with Cameron. Cameron has paid, too, for her desperation to belong to someone and feel apart of a family, which is arguably partly why she couldn’t get over Donna’s betrayal of her trust, and why she married Tom and moved 5000 miles away for seven years. She eventually learns to face and correct her mistakes. She learns to stop thinking of herself as a child or young prodigy, because it’s time for her to grow up, and refusing to do so isn’t serving her. She learns to accept that she played a part in her falling out with Donna, and to let go of her anger with her. But it’s not just with Donna, she also learns to see and accept J*e for what he is, and she finally figures out that they want different things, and ends their relationship. And while J*e does not seem to be at peace with that just yet by series’ end, he’s learned some other important lessons, probably too many to list here, actually. But in terms of where he ends up, J*e’s revelation is that, in the wake of Gordon’s death and the end of Comet and his relationship with Cameron, he can and should get off the tech merry-go-round. It was never about tech for him, the way it was for Cameron, Donna, and Gordon, and his entry into it was largely about his abusive father’s shadow. By leaving town, J*e withdraws from everything in his life, yes, but he also gets away from his grief, and he finally gets out of his father’s shadow. It’s not ideal, but it’s what he and a lot of bereaved people need, and to that extent, it’s a happy ending, and a sign that he’s actively working on dealing with his baggage.

I would like to believe that like the characters, I’ve gotten better at dealing with life. This show has unquestionably helped me to get better at coping with grief, loss, and epic friend breakups, and I think it’s helped me gain a healthier sense of perspective, and if not, it’s at least been there for me as I figured these things out and became wiser with age. A thing you can’t know in your early or even mid 20s is that even though life is ‘too short,’ life is also long. It’s very easy to become overwhelmed by painful early life experiences; you have to get through them to realize that even the worst and most life-altering traumas will not always be the defining thing of your life, there’s a lot of stuff ahead of you and that a certain amount of change and flux and endings are normal, that there’s still time for you to be happy, or at least, happier. No matter how old you are, if you’re reading this, I hope that you’ve learned something about this from watching this show (or maybe even from following along here), and that that information will be useful to you at some point even if it isn’t right now.

It will sound silly, but I hesitated before starting this side tumblr, partly because I figured there’d be tons just like it (lol), but mostly because I knew that the show would eventually end, and that at some point, I’d have to stop posting new content here, and that I might fall out of touch with whatever friends I might make here. (I didn’t even actually expect to make that many friends or mutuals here, I can’t believe how many of you I’ve gotten to talk to!) That fear of a good thing ending won’t be relatable to everyone, but I have hunch that a significant portion of Halt’s audience will get it.

Even if not, I am so, so glad that I didn’t let my unnecessary but habitual preemptive anxiety and sadness over things ending, over connecting and then parting ways stop me. It’s made a long few years immeasurably easier and less lonely, and it still does, even if it’s not the same as when the show was still airing. (Which is why I’m still posting here, and will be for a while, hopefully until after I can completely a full series rewatch.) It’s not like I’m looking forward to the day when I wrap up this blog, but, I’m also not irrationally (‘irrationally’) depressed by the idea of it anymore.

Halt was was always preoccupied with ‘the future,’ so it’s not hard to imagine the characters of the show feeling or thinking something like this, it would make sense for the show to end with the characters, or most of them, no longer feeling quite so scared of or depressed by the void of the future? I can’t be sure if that’s the vibe the finale was going for, and I feel like it’s a little bit sunnier than Chris C.’s tweet is. It’s what I got and what I’m still getting out of all of this, though, so I’m content to share this interpretation here, and to think that maybe it’s at least part of what the writers’ room was trying to say.

#for the second time this week:#...really did not mean for this to get quite so long #so ty to everyone who reads it in advance!#meta #is it meta?#meta monday #except it's on wednesday so what who cares!#halt and catch fire #h&cf finale feels

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lykaonimagines · 6 years

Text

Where The Heart Sings - Tom Hiddleston x Reader One-Shot

(Day Fourteen) I missed the original day 14 sorry :S

Here’s day fourteen of my trying to post every other day of November. If all goes to plan you’ll be seeing another story on the 29th! If you’d like to be on any of my tag lists just let me know.

This one is sort of personal to me. I’ve been in a long distance overseas relationship now 4 1/2 years with (tbh) probably the guy I’m going to marry one day 😶I’ve been missing him a lot, and this story just sort of happened. Airports have simultaneously become the place of greatest happiness and sadness. So this one is taking from that moment of utter bliss in the airport when you finally see them again.

(All Shakespeare quotes used at italicized, the rest is me.)

Paring: Tom x Reader

Word Count: 2,163

Description: Y/N and Tom finally reunited in the airport after a year apart.

Warning: Nothing really

(gif isn’t mine)

Checking the arrival screens for the seemingly hundredth time, Y/N finds herself pacing in the crowded luggage claim area. As the small sign twists in her hands, her mind races.

It had been a year since she last saw him. They had been in this long distance relationship for four years now. Both wanting to see where this would go, but not ready to give up their lives on a maybe.

The day she first met Tom, she both simultaneously thanked and hated, for bringing this wonderfully intelligent, dorky, sweet, and loving man into her life. She’d met him on a train on a vacation in London. The man next to her so engrossed in Coriolanus she couldn’t help herself from commenting. A megawatt smile turned up from the book to face her, and the rest was history.

He swept her off her feet before she even knew what happened, and by the end of the month she found herself kissing this man goodbye through a tearful gaze. Only one month and she was already smitten. That seemed so long ago now, the years that followed were full of late night FaceTime dates and seeing one another as much as possible for their schedule.

The past year however… everything went wrong, every plan to see one another. He had taken on so many roles he seemed to be in a constant state of filming or promoting that left him with little to no time to get away to her. And her attempts to go see him always ended in her boss insisting she head another project.

So there she stood in her hometown airport gripping a sign with his name, and waiting to finally see him after the long year apart.

She should be happy. In theory she is. But she’s terrified.

“It’s been an entire year,” she mutters looking down at herself with a frown. “What if it doesn’t feel the same? What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if I look different? What if he doesn’t like how I look anymore? What if when he sees me he realizes the women he’s around on a regular basis are better? What if he decides this isn’t worth it anymore- if I’m not worth it anymore,” she mutters to herself as she tugs at her outfit once again.

She knew some of it was crazy. He seen her on FaceTime every few days. And if he truly didn’t love her anymore he wouldn’t call her nearly everyday. Or would he? He’s so polite maybe he thinks it’s better to end things in person.

Y/N shakes her head roughly and pulls out her phone to check her makeup once again, then checks her messages.

“He should be landing anytime now, he thinks there’s a driver waiting for him, still doesn’t know it’s you. I’ll keep the business away for as long as I can, you two enjoy yourself. - Luke.”

Grinning down at the text with a new found confidence, she stands up straighter and finds herself a spot against one of the airport columns, slightly out of view from the escalators that bring the arriving passengers down.

She’d originally told Tom she couldn’t make it to pick him up, and in truth she really didn’t think she could. She had taken the next few weeks off, but her boss had insisted she come in today to take care of some work for him. Tom had been disappointed, she could tell by the tone of his voice but he played it off. So she pulled some strings and worked her ass off to get all her work done in the morning, and make it to the airport to fetch him.

She had texted Luke to ask of his ride plans, and had received notice he’d cancel Tom’s ride and not let him know it was her so she could surprise him. Something she was really excited for, nervous, but excited.

As the baggage belt near her begin to move, her eyes flicker to the digital screen above it, London.

Looking to the second floor as passengers begin their descent, she grips the sign with his name tightly in her fist. Her insides are churning and she feels somewhere between wanting to throw up or run away. Closing her eyes, she carefully breathes in and out slowly before forcing a smile to her face.

Seeing a familiar form appear at the top of the stairs, she smiles genuinely. Tom’s here. He’s finally here.

Her heart beating frantically, she lifts the sign up to hold in front of her chest as she leans back against the column.

As he finally reaches the bottom of the stairs, she finds herself admiring him. He has been working out, very clearly. His t-shirt clings to lean muscular frame in all the right ways, his hair tussled, and his expression clearly one of concentration as he searches the crowd for his ride.

A small laugh leaves her as a few fans finally notice him in the crowd, and a shriek sounds as her accepts pens and paper to sign whatever is shoved at him. Selfie after selfie, she finds she’s calmed down more than she thought possible. The same Tom. Kind and sweet to his fans no matter the setting.

Finishing up signing his last autograph, she sees him begin to search the crowd again, so she extends her arm high into the air with his sign.

Finally pinpointing his name, his eyes move down from it to her arm, and settle on her face, their eyes locking. What was that about being calm? His eyes widen as realization washes over him, and her heart begins to beat against her ribcage. Those brilliant blue eyes locked on her.

She can see him mumble something, probably excusing himself as he slips around his fans, heading directly toward her. Something snaps in her, as adrenaline courses through her and she starts speed walking toward him, he doing the same.

The closer they get, the more everything fades out. The sound of the airport, the crowd of people, everything except him just seem to fade into her subconscious as he gets closer. Both finally break out into a full sprint, and she finds herself leaping into his arms, him pulling her legs up to wrap around his waist as his lips find hers.

Perfect. All she can fathom in that moment. Perfect.

The feeling of his soft lips against hers, her arms around his neck, the smell of his familiar cologne and shampoo overwhelming her senses as she moves her lips with his. Her fingers tangle into his hair as a soft grunt escapes him. His teeth bite at her lip she as she starts to pull away, pulling her back in with a laugh from both sides. As their kiss finally ends, he presses his forehead to hers, and stares into her Y/H/C eyes with the most loving gaze she’s ever seen. God she loves this man.

“You said you couldn’t make it,” he mumbles, his voice ragged as he still tries to catch his breath.

“Surprise,” she whispers back with a smile, and that brilliant megawatt smile she first fell for graces his face once again.

And as quick as the moment came, it’s shattered by the sudden realization of countless flashes going off and the sound of cameras clicking.

“Shit,” he mutters, as she quickly untangles her legs from around him and drops to the airport tile, her face bright red.

“I’m sorry, I-,” she begins before he grips her hand and rushes to grab his luggage from the carousel and pulls her out the door.

“Not your fault love, we got a little excited,” he chuckles as he pulls a hat and sunglasses from his bag.

“Yeah I guess so,” she laughs nervously. “Let’s get back to my place?”

The ride back to her apartment is mostly silent. Just the sound of the radio buzzing in the background as her thoughts race once again. Scolding herself for the display she caused in the airport. That’s why he’s being so silent. He likes his personal life private, and she just probably made them the front page of the tabloids.

Dropping all his things off in her room, he deposits himself on her couch with his phone in hand and holds out an arm for her to join him.

Hesitantly, she sits beside him as she tries to find a way to break the silence as she watches him go to Twitter.

And there it was. She swallows hard as she sees him scroll through various photos of all different angles and in all different filters of them in the airport.

“I- I’ll be right back,” she says quickly as she pulls herself up from the couch and races to the bathroom, a confused Tom watching her.

Sitting on the edge of her bathtub she sighs. A whole year apart. One perfect moment. And then ruined. She has no idea how to approach this topic with him. They’d both agreed on not exactly hiding their relationship, but making it sparse. The last thing either of them wanted was everyone in their business. Especially him, he put so much effort into keeping his private life just that, private.

Lost in her thoughts, she feels the vibration of her phone in her pocket. Pulling it out, she’s surprised to see a notification from Twitter… that Tom tweeted? She had forgotten she even had his notifications on, it had been so long since he last even tweeted.

Bracing herself, she taps the notification and waits for her app to load, gasping when it finally does.

He had posted one of the photos. Clicking it with a shaky hand, she looks at the photo of them, a simple black and white filter on it. Her legs around his waist, arms around his neck, and their lips locked. A smile spreads across her face as she notices how utterly blissful they both look.

Looking down to his caption, a few tears fight to break free, “Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, Did my heart fly at your service. I love you beyond measure.”

Flinging the bathroom door open, phone in hand, she rushes back out to her living room to see Tom sitting where she left him, a big grin on his face.

“You saw it I hope?” He asks.

She nods, “I did, I just… I thought you didn’t want this to be public? I thought you were mad about what happened.”

“Darling,” he calls out as he opens his arms to her.

Diving into his arms, her head immediately goes to his chest and he kisses the top of it.

“I apologize for the silence on the way back, I was thinking. About everything,” he says as he twirls a lock of her hair on his finger. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life than I was in that moment. And looking at all those photos, and seeing what I hope is the same look on your face. I don’t want to hide it anymore, I want the world to know I’m the happiest man on this planet because I have your love, and you in my arms.”

Stroking his chest, she looks up at him lovingly, “I’ve missed you Tom.”

“And I you, I love you darling,” he whispers against her lips as his press to hers.

The soft gentle kiss sends chills up her spine as she settles against him, making her mind up finally on one thought that’s been hounding her for months.

“I think it’s time,” she states as she strokes his facial hair.

“Hm?” He inquires, his eyes flickering back open. “Time for what?”

“Time that maybe I start looking for a new job,” she answers.

“Oh?” His brow furrows at her answer. “Are they giving you more problems?”

“No, nothing like that,” she continues. “I was thinking a change of scenery.”

“Such as?”

“Oh I don’t know. London maybe,” she says nonchalantly, fighting the grin trying to break through.

His eyes widen immediately, his mouth agape unsure how to respond, “I- are you certain?”

“Completely,” she nods.

“You’re ready to leave your home, for me?” He asks hesitantly.

“Tom,” she says, tilting his chin down so they’re face to face. “Home is where the heart sings, and it only sings for you.”

A smile spreads across his face as he takes in her reply, and he pulls her to him, falling onto his back as she lays on his chest, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you—is not that strange?”

“Very strange indeed,” she agrees as her finger traces along his lips. “Absolutely mad I must say, but I find myself equally mad for you.”

“Then don’t cure me of this insanity, for it’s sweet embrace is all I need.”

---

Masterlist

(Had trouble tagging a few sorry :/)

Tom Tag List: @bambamwolf87 @thepowerofawkwardcompelsyou @theoneanna @mrshicks38 @cute-mirei @chamberof0secrets

All Stories Tag List: @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @chezagnes @fuckthatfeeling @oatballsoffury @thisismysecrethappyplace @xcasiferx @its-remy-not-ratatouille @dangertoozmanykids101 @izzywings @fairlightswiftly

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine

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chloes-yellow-cup · 6 years

Text

2018 Fic Roundup

I was tagged by @lets-talk-appella and I'm a bit in awe at how much she's written in the past year.

AO3 Stats

Total Word Count: 319,663 (Holy crap, really?)

Total Hits: 34022 Kudos: 1375 Comment Threads: 295 (If this counts my replies, divide that in half) Bookmarks: 313 Subscriptions: 195 User Subscriptions: 81

FFN is a bit trickier as it breaks down Views/Visitors per month so with a grain of salt: 34930/16077

Links & Titles to 2018 Works: (These notes may get a little long winded, sorry!)

Candy Wars: - 3,391 words, T Established Bechloe fluff with a dash of Staubrey and Bella Hijinks. Inspired by a tweet. Takes place post retreat, pre-Worlds, added in my A Shared Lifetime series.

Getting Even - 11,377 words, M Inspired by Perdition by @morningsound15 and actually the first thing I started writing, for all that I posted CW first. Established Bechloe in Beca’s sophomore year. Much smut and later added to my A Shared Lifetime series.

One Million Kisses - 4,450 words, G

Mitchsen AU oneshot from a prompt request. So much fluff, Drunken Mitchsen and handstands.

Nowish - 102,144 words, M Bechloe, Staubrey. Bellas Squared. My first multi-chap and I could spend a lifetime talking about it. It started out as a joke: Can I write a scene with a foursome? And I couldn’t just throw them all into bed (I mean, I could but I wanted to build it up a bit.) 8 chapters later I created a life and a universe that I fell in love with and changed my entire life, how I view these four characters and gave me amazing new friends.

Leap of Faith - 8,146 words, M Bechloe neighbor AU from @lilhan for her birthday. Fluff and smut. Prompt: Your window was open and you live across from me so I saw and heard you in your underwear, singing and dancing ridiculously and I really wanna get to know you cause you're pretty hot and I might have a crush on you AU.

Third Time’s the Charm - 11,410 words, T Bechloe Disney AU for Bechloe Week 2018 (though I had the idea before then.) Beca’s got this rule, and there’s this Disney Princess... Humor and fluff with appearances from Stacie, Emily, Cynthia Rose and my now inevitable Staubrey side pairing.

Unknown Number - 649 words, G Post USO Staubrey Angst. Part of my Nowish universe: Idea: What if Beca had called Stacie while she and Amy were on their way to save the Bellas? First in a newly established Fic Tease series, in which I post small bits that I can’t wait to share. So far the things posted here are part of a larger, future, PP3 story, but I’m pretty sure I’ll start posting random scenes that might not end up anywhere else.

Tattoos - 11,991 words, M Second Fic Tease entry. After brainstorming with my beta, @tiny-maus-boots, we came up with the idea of Aubrey getting the rest of the girls gifts. As I realize the impact this world had on my life, I decided to get them as tattoos because they’re just that important to me. And this chapter was born - though it could stand as a oneshot on it’s own, honestly.

They Had Time - 148,183 words, M My Bechloe endgame rewrite of the first movie. Back when writing Getting Even, I had originally thought of writing a scene or two that put Bechloe together in the first movie. It was horribly rushed and totally unpolished. After GE, I decided to maybe do a transcription of the first movie, giving both their thoughts on key scenes. Then Nowish happened and Time got put on hold until it was done. When I came back to it, I had a whole host of future threads that I could weave through Time that would pay off in Nowish. Including, but not limited to, the groundwork for the Rise of Staubrey™, coming soon to a story near you.

The Middle - 17,922 words, M Poly Bellas Squared Oneshot, post Nowish. (Pre Tattoos.) The girls have some downtime, Stacie gets bored and more fluff and smut ensue. (I sense a theme in my works here.)

Favorite Fic: This is like asking a parent to pick their favorite kid. Nowish, probably. It was so hard but I’m so proud of it. Getting Even because it started me down this path. All my Oneshots (Kisses seriously becomes more adorable to me the more I write Mitchsen.) are also precious angels.

Hardest Fic: Nowish and Time. There were so many pieces to both of these that I almost gave up writing them - many times. Nowish because putting together these 4 in a realistic way was... stressful. And Time because I had to get it right - both in terms of putting Bechloe together and to fit within my new AU.

Do you plan on taking prompts in 2019? This is always tentative - coming up with ideas off of prompts takes me a small eternity. Of course, coming up with ideas in general takes that long so... maybe, but don’t count on it to be quick, lol.

What was the best thing about 2018? Writing again for the first time in fifteen years. Finding a place - a home - in this fandom. Everyone has always been so welcoming and supportive. Making new and amazing friends that I can’t imagine not talking to every day.

There’s too many to name here, but these guys in particular have been amazing in their support: @nailbiting-fangirl, @lilhan, @fandom-heaux, @kate-harper, @rejection-isnt-failure, @c-k-mack, @lets-talk-appella.

I’d mention @tiny-maus-boots but she’s been my bestie for half my life, not just 2018.

What was the worst thing about 2018? I had some serious depression issues for the first half of the year but the unswerving support of Maus and finding my writing voice has helped (mostly) pull me out of it. Self doubt. Writers block. Smut block. Not enough time to write.

Any last thoughts for 2018? This has been a wild ride and thank you to everyone who has made this year so amazing.

Goals for 2019: Write the multitude of ideas currently sitting in my “To-do” list which includes, but is not limited to: PP2, PP3, College Smutshots, Post Nowish Smutshots, Diner AU.

MAN I’m wordy! Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this entire ramble and to everyone who has ever sent me feedback here, on AO3 or FFN. Your support has gotten me through an emotionally difficult year.

I’m totally going to make @kate-harper do this now.

#2018 round up #cyc writes #cyc rambles #pitch perfect fanfic #bechloe fanfic #staubrey fanfic #mitchsen fanfic #Poly Bellas Squared

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ajw720 · 7 years

Note

Along w/ Gus, C also liked E/rich B/ergen. Who he has no known connection to or interaction with, but ofc is very publicly D's friend. (C followed EB right before Hwig opened in NYC & has barely faved him since.) These 'coincidences' might seem small but C tries make statements however he can. And it's 1 way C can show where he (still) stands to any part of fandom that will listen. Which matters when so many are thinking the worst of D.

Anon, you are correct, I honestly did not scroll past Gus’ tweet as that was so obvious as it was just last week that we discussed his interaction with D at length.

But Er/ich absolutely has been friend’s with D for years and is another Broadway guy and you are correct, I cannot think of one time I recall C interacting with him publicly. And since you mentioned Hedwig, a picture of them backstage:

I always say C is the captain as he is relentless in providing constant clues to anyone watching that he is in this and continues to stand firmly by D’s side. And I continue to get beyond frustrated when other people think they can speak on his behalf and say things like he deserves better. No one can decide that but C himself, he is an adult that is perfectly capable of making life decisions. And it think to state otherwise is demoralizing in many ways.TBH, one theme I often repeat is that I think it speaks volumes to how much D is fighting and to the true nature of his character that he has maintained a relationship with C for over 7 years and that C not only chooses to be in the relationship, but he chooses to fight right next to him every damn day.

And he continues to make some not so subtle hints to anyone and everyone that is actually paying attention. And they have only increased since the encage. Honestly, some of his SM likes have been beyond blatant recently and it is near impossible to deny the connection (though ofc they do).

I honestly do not believe C would remain if he thought D was choosing this nightmare. And i just don’t understand why people don’t listen to him. I honestly believe the last thing he wants is for his fans to elevate him and to mock or disparage D. Not to mention to forget that C has a career that could be potentially harmed is ignorant.

Besides D, C is the ONLY PERSON who actually knows what is going on behind closed doors. What contracts state. When contracts end. What obligations must be met. What deals have been made. What promises were made and broken (I think many especially recently which to me makes this whole thing so much worse as I still believe this is not even remotely what D thought would be happening this year). How much notice D had to this encage. What D’s legal rights are currently. What D’s team has the legal authority to do. What actions D is taking to end this nightmare. What actions are being taken to limit the damage. What threats are being made. Who exactly they are fighting against besides the obvious. And what the potential risks are of the varied options I am sure they have discussed.

None of us know. Not a single one of us. But to me there is no better sign that D is fighting like hell than the fact that he has a person that clearly loves him enough to live this horror show by his side.

I know there have been many wonderful moments. But i cannot imagine this has not been a living hell for them both. And I really hope they both know they will have a beautiful future. because in my opinion, what they have must be pretty extraordinary.

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thedivinefish · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and that star light within you

TGIWednesday News

Tis the season. Allow that little star light within you to shine this holiday season and beyond. Every act of kindness goes noticed at least by the great observer of all that is. There will always be dark times, bright times and stuff all in between and even “the winter of our discontent”. But we MUST press forward and observe that still small star light voice within us. Press on. I have an American Indian drum playing in the back of my head that reminds me to keep pressing forward. My motto is "ABC - Always Be Creating" and share the hope and the love. Thanks to everyone who got in on our annual audio BOGO discount and we hope you enjoy your items! Another item I want to tell you about (and we do not make commissions on this) is by famous Energy Artist Julia known for channeling energies into her artwork and creating pieces known to emit amazing spiritual energies. Years back she designed this very special pendant/medallion for My Liquid Fish® and she is offering a special 15% off discount for our subscribers - Use Code: S24 Energy Artist Julia - My Liquid Fish® Pendant

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Are you clear on what your gifts are and how to use them? What would you like more of? Intuition, discernment, clear purpose, more motivation, healing, better focus or alignment, better connection to angels and the Divine, prophecy cards, numerology, astrology? What are your blocks? Feeling stuck, disconnected, overwhelmed, frozen in fear, lazy, lethargic, procrastinating?

REGISTER NOW, SUBMIT YOUR TOP 3 issues and join us as we discover and erase the blocks allowing you to become more aligned with your divine gifts! NOTE: All who are registered will receive the REPLAY via email the following day. All participants will be muted, no video, listen-mode only.

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From the Fish Box

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Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack DECEMBER 16th "Today I will value what I already have. I will come to terms with the fact that shopping cannot always provide satisfaction and some of my friends and relatives are just who they are... characters acknowledged at the end of a B movie, but certainly by no means anyone we need to go camping with. I will give rue thanks for who I am."

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

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For those who aren't familiar, below is a list of the 30+ audios in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

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Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

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divinefishingtips · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and that star light within you

TGIWednesday News

December LIVE Zoom Event

Wednesday December 30th at 7:30-8:00pm ET TOPIC: Intuition and Becoming More Psychic Registration fee = $22 (including replay)

This month’s Zoom event is all about your hidden gifts, intuition and clearing out blocks that are preventing you from reaching your highest potential.

Browse the previous MySwitchWorks catalog here.

TGIWednesday Download

From the Fish Box

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

WATCH IT LIVE TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT https://www.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions https://www.pscp.tv/Goldylocks168/follow

Yesterday's Replay with Special Guest Kimberly Marooney | Angel Expert, Author, intuitive http://kimberlymarooney.com/angel-expert-kimberly-marooney WINTER BREAK BEGINS - NO REMAINING SHOWS

Watch all live and replays in the archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

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365dailyaffirmations · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and that star light within you

TGIWednesday News

December LIVE Zoom Event

Wednesday December 30th at 7:30-8:00pm ET TOPIC: Intuition and Becoming More Psychic Registration fee = $22 (including replay)

This month’s Zoom event is all about your hidden gifts, intuition and clearing out blocks that are preventing you from reaching your highest potential.

Browse the previous MySwitchWorks catalog here.

TGIWednesday Download

From the Fish Box

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

WATCH IT LIVE TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT https://www.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions https://www.pscp.tv/Goldylocks168/follow

Yesterday's Replay with Special Guest Kimberly Marooney | Angel Expert, Author, intuitive http://kimberlymarooney.com/angel-expert-kimberly-marooney WINTER BREAK BEGINS - NO REMAINING SHOWS

Watch all live and replays in the archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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advancedthetapractitioner · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and that star light within you

TGIWednesday News

December LIVE Zoom Event

Wednesday December 30th at 7:30-8:00pm ET TOPIC: Intuition and Becoming More Psychic Registration fee = $22 (including replay)

This month’s Zoom event is all about your hidden gifts, intuition and clearing out blocks that are preventing you from reaching your highest potential.

Browse the previous MySwitchWorks catalog here.

TGIWednesday Download

From the Fish Box

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

WATCH IT LIVE TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT https://www.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions https://www.pscp.tv/Goldylocks168/follow

Yesterday's Replay with Special Guest Kimberly Marooney | Angel Expert, Author, intuitive http://kimberlymarooney.com/angel-expert-kimberly-marooney WINTER BREAK BEGINS - NO REMAINING SHOWS

Watch all live and replays in the archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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xtremedespair3d · 4 years

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HajiKo Anime: Winter-Spring 2020 + Summer First Impressions

I wasn’t willing to return to Tumblr to keep making these posts about my anime reviews which they’re the only thing I make because I was burned out on making them and I wanted to commit on writing my novel but I ended up abandoning it now because I was frustrated with everything about it, from harsh criticism I didn’t ask for to not figuring out the story well enough.

Then I tried to keep my reviews going by making threads on Twitter, but later I wasn’t satisfied with how they turned out nor like writing them because I was feeling limited, and I was even debating on whether to keep the Twitter thread format going, returning to Tumblr or just simply tweet my tiers of every anime I watch, so what better way to keep this review series going? It’s to return to Tumblr because I really like reviewing anime and Tumblr has been the most comfortable space to make my reviews and giving it a new name, HajiKo Anime, as in my name I go on Twitter as Hajime Komaeda.

So, kept you waiting, huh?

I had a lot of stuff to do in my life to the point that it drives me totally insane to the point of questioning my will to live, and then there’s also the pandemic which everything gets delayed and cancelled, even upcoming anime!

The biggest problem with making my reviews is sometimes I have to force myself on commenting on other shows I don't have much thought on, only like few I have tons of feelings I want to express, so I really hope things will be any better once I’m back on Tumblr to make these reviews I liked doing.

By continuing to make these reviews by including my new tiers, let me remind how do I interpret the ranking tiers:

S: 10-9

A: 8

B: 7

C: 6-4

D: 3-1

E: 0

Let’s keep in mind that I wouldn’t give full reviews on literally everything I watch because sometimes I don’t have much thought on so I’ll just skip them, I make lengthy reviews on some shows because I genuinely have feelings on these shows, that was one of my struggles with my other reviews, some of them were forced but I promise I will only do lengthy reviews to some shows I have lots of thoughts to talk about.

First off with Winter which is looking qutie strong even for the beginning of the decade:

Winter 2020

(Higher resolution)

Ishuzoku Reviewers: Perhaps one of the best ecchi series I've ever watched in years to the point where the ecchi really gets near-hentai level... so much so it caused controversy for Funimation and Japanese television alike, with Funimation removing the license and cancelled the English dub due to its content, and the series being removed on Tokyo MX. Though I might say that I wouldn't go that far to consider this as the best ecchi series of all time because there are a couple of things I really hated about the show, it can be a little too biased on some fetishes, includes fetishes I’m not a fan of, etc. But still, I admire the show for taking risks by going beyond the limits of Japanese television.

ID: INVADED: This is the most surprising show I've ever seen this season, it may also happen to be somewhat underrated. How can a dying studio like NAZ produce something really well-animated for once? All thanks to Ei Aoiki. I'm not really much of an animation expert but I really hope there might be someone who will make an article saying "How Ei Aoki saved Studio NAZ with ID: INVADED."

BanG Dream season 3: This third season of Bandori is THE BEST Bandori season ever, this made me like RAS (RAISE A SUILEN) even more.

Eizouken: This was an interesting series about making anime that may or may not compete with SHIROBAKO, though even if they have the same theme of making anime, they're completely different in terms of setting. The animation, even from what I've seen with Masaaki Yuasa and Science Saru with Devilman Crybaby, surprisingly looks like the series was actually fully hand-drawn instead of Adobe Flash, though Adobe Flash is still present in the opening.

Isekai Quartet 2: This second season of Isekai Quartet was a huge letdown compared to its predecessor, my biggest deal breaker is how they wasted the Shield Hero characters into minor roles, they straight-up overhyped them. The last few episodes seemed like they were slowly redeeming themselves on making the Shield Hero characters have some more screentime. Now that the series got a third season, let’s see how they will handle the Shield Hero characters this time if they’ll truly become main character status to be shown on the OP and ED, or they continue to be minor characters on the classroom where most of the supporting and minor characters from the main isekai properties attend to. Also, at one episode there was this cameo of these two characters from a series called Cautious Hero, if they end up becoming actual main characters or something, I’m not even gonna bother binging the series just like I did with Shield Hero.

Nekopara: I was skeptical about this series, but upon watching the first episode alone, this is a very comfy series, but its existence and inclusion of original characters will always baffle me.

Honorable mentions:

Azur Lane The Animation: As of July 2020, I think I might have accepted the fact that a lot of people (At least the Western side of the AL fanbase) hate the anime and they say it sucks, I’m really spoiled about it and it sucks to feel that way. I’ve always been hype as hell when I was watching the series from the very beginning, it had all kinds of easter eggs and references I couldn’t stop pointing them out since I’m an avid Azur Lane player (JP version only), and the best part is that at one episode, it had a bath scene where in the Blu-Ray version, the whole scene happens to feature official animated nipples! Official Azur Lane nipples in official media! I wish this could happen very often, even official artists would occasionally draw their characters in full R-18, such as Sirius and Ark Royal. (NSFW, CLICK WITH CAUTION)

Sure, sometimes the series had some quality, especially at the end of episode 4, but that doesn’t make the series automatically garbage or anything. The Azur Lane anime is NOT GARBAGE, PERIOD. Got that?

If I had the time, I’d seriously love to rewatch the series (Using the BD rips of course) to prove everyone wrong.

In terms of the future of Azur Lane anime, as much as I’d love to see this get more seasons and even movies to beat Kancolle to the punch, we’re now getting an anime adaptation of the Twitter 4komas, well, at least that’s certainly something cool. With that being said, I bet people are gonna be like “This is way better than the main anime” which I won’t condone it like hell. Let me say it again, the main Azur Lane anime is not garbage.

Fate/Grand Order Babylonia: Long after watching the series when it was on the air, I’ve been thinking that this was probably okay, Babylonia is not my most favorite singularity throughout FGO because the previous ones deserve some respect and I’m biased to the Shinjuku singularity for obvious reasons. I do wish they would adapt pretty much every singularity but they’re tediously long that they need to make hundreds of anime of each, so they just happen to skip all that and decided to make a Babylonia series and the upcoming Camelot movies because they’re the most favorite. I don’t really buy it on why are they the most favorite, but okay.

My Hero Academia season 4 and My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising: Heroes Rising was probably the last movie I’ve seen going to the theater before the pandemic happened.

Castlevania season 3: For some reason I didn’t like this season as much as the first two (Unpopular opinion).

Phantasy Star Online 2: Episode Oracle: I was very skeptical throughout the first half of the season, but this second half was making me in high spirits, although I would still prefer the original PSO2 anime over this.

Moving on to Spring:

Spring 2020

(Higher resolution)

Fruits Basket: Fruits Basket continues to be an excellent series, balancing comedy and drama the way I like with the comedy always making me laugh and the drama always making me tense. (I don't wanna see or talk about EP9 ever again.)

Shin Sakura Wars The Animation: Sanzigen continues to deliver quite a lot even after BanG Dream! season 3, not only we get one but TWO shows this season. My main problem with Shin Sakura Wars The Animation is that they really must have abused the hand drawn parts so much, and this was a really frustrating problem that this should be A tier instead, but it was still quite good regardless, I love Sanzigen to death.

Watanuki-san Chi To: This was a neat second season and this makes me strongly believe that the Watanuki-san Chi series are the future of VTuber anime, or dorama as what the series is, and I’m still mad that there are still no subtitles for this, neither official subs nor fan subs.

My few complaints for Watanuki-san Chi To is that Ikuko's role that kinda takes Futaba's place a little too much since Futaba was working at a karaoke bar most of the time and Ikuko and Futaba had interacted on-screen like twice (or three if that ending from episode 3 counts) on episodes 5 and 12 (the final one). I'm hoping that we'll get more of the Watanuki sisters and Ikuko interacting together on-screen some more but I think things will be the same with Futaba continuing to work on the karaoke bar.

Then there’s episode 12 which was the episode where Ikuko leaves the Watanuki house after finding her real parents, the episode was kind of predictable as Ikuko returned and decided to stay with the Watanuki sisters afterwards. This is one of the few, if not, the first time that something definitely made me say and feel something was actually predictable, but not that I would hate on it or anything.

Another complaint I have for this entire season is that it lacked the crowd laughs the first season had, the first season felt like it was true a comedy and having no laughs this season gave an entirely different atmosphere and I wasn't very comfortable with it.

Despite the flaws, I give huge thumbs ups for what they did with the world and the characters, they finally happen to bring the characters from the audio drama played by various other VTubers, and we finally happen to explore outside of the world for a little bit between shots of the streets where Ikuko walked through at the beginning of the series and the karaoke bar, not just sticking to the Watanuki house over and over.

The best part of introducing the newer characters is that they finally showed male characters for once, one of which was Futaba's boyfriend, Kenji, who's sort of a recurring background character frequently mentioned in the first season, he happened to finally have his body revealed, but still no face reveal. And there was also this other male guest character in episode 3, he was interesting to say the least. Finally, something to make the series not sexist.

I wouldn't really consider myself as the most dedicated Western Watanuki-san Chi fan. As much as I'd like to call myself that, I don't really speak Japanese to understand the series some more and I would have to be a badass to actually make fansubs, some events happened in Japan, which I don't live in Japan, and I don't buy the merch, let alone the Blu-Rays and the audio dramas. The worst part about the audio dramas is they're purchasable on Pixiv Booth, which Pixiv doesn't really let me use my debit card (or might if I were to use my Wallet app or something). I for one wouldn't really consider myself as the ONLY person who watches the Watanuki-san Chi, I wouldn't be watching the series if it wasn't for the people who have been uploading torrents of every episode on Nyaa, there's a very niche amount of people who do watch the series.

(I probably shouldn’t talk too much about piracy related things and sites like Nyaa, and I try to make my review posts as formal as possible to stay away from such things, but I’m just an independent reviewer who makes these posts as a hobby, I’m not a big anime news site or anything and I can say whatever the fuck I want, so who cares?)

BanG Dream! Garupa Pico Ohmori and Welcome to the Japari Park season 2: These ones are definitely the absolute surprise and looks like things are definitely gonna get absolutely better. They both premiered between late April to early May, so they're kind of a special case.

Kaguya-sama season 2: I didn't get the first season as much, but this second season is finally making me feel better about the series. (Probably because when I binged the first season, I multitasked and get occasionally distracted, that's why I didn't get it at first)

Argonavis from BanG Dream: This one's quite an interesting series. Not as good as the mainline female-centric series, but as a self-contained universe, it's pretty good on its own. It even handles topics that the base series won't even do, like music industry and money. Although Chuchu is probably the closest thing we experience when she's a music producer character of sorts but she's more entitled to her own band, money is a far more important issue the series doesn't want ot tackle, and Argonavis does it right.

The only thing that almost ruined the series is the unnecessarily dark final episode where the entire episode was basically Banri passing out after doing their debut performance in Destiny Rock Festival and Argonavis were having a hard time about what to do if something were to happen with Banri and they made a song dedicated to him afterwards. Episode 12 should have been the final episode, we didn’t need to see a rollercoaster episode, this should be played out more as an OVA, but I digress. This isn’t the weakest or the worst finale but it’s seriously unnecessary.

Now I just hope the second season makes the other bands teased in the last few episodes become regulars, just like how the first season of the female Bandori where they teased a lot of the other bands, and then from season 2 onwards, the other bands have become regulars. I just really hope they'll make the other bands from Argonavis be full CG because they were all hand drawn for some reason, and I also need season 4 of main female Bandori series so bad so they can introduce Morfonica which in anime format they're introduced in the Garupa Pico Ohmori series.

Brand New Animal: It partially is because BNA starts with B, but he main reason is that I thought it was alright, and as a Netflix series that I can binge in one run, it's easily forgettable. Not the weakest of TRIGGER, but I feel rather indifferent with this.

Princess Connect ReDive: This was my absolute least favorite of Spring, I couldn't stress enough on how much of a Konosuba wannabe this is, it's such a poor imitation and I wish the actual game wasn't this ridiculously bad. From the over-the-top wacky tone to goofier background character designs and a very retarded MC. I don't know why but I thought this would be a simple way to get into Princess Connect without getting into the game because I see fan arts a lot, and Japan apparently seems to like this, as evidence with the fan arts and as much as I would like to like this more because of it, it just didn’t work for me, the animation is alright, though. At least this is way better than the NOT Shadowverse anime.

I got a comment from someone saying that the Konosuba influence comes from the director of the Puriconne series and this series serves to introduce the game as an original story for non-Puriconne players without touching any major plot points.

And finally let’s talk about my first impressions to all the shows I’m watching this Summer season:

Fire Force season 2: I was hoping this season can be a little bit better animated than the first, but upon the first episode of this season alone the terrible pacing is still there, but then the second episode, things get really interesting. The story is the main thing that will keep me intrigued for the rest of the series.

Dokyuu Hentai HxEros: The first time I heard about this series was when I retweeted and saving a Suketto Sanjou-related picture by artist Rakko where he hid a reply where someone posted a link to the Amazon page of the upcoming volume of the manga of HxEros (which the manga is not by Rakko and this is totally unrelated, what the hell was the guy who made the reply thinking?), that was a little while before I heard that this was getting animated.

At first I was 50/50 on watching it or not, but I saw the news that there’ll be this “H Energy Unleashed” version, which is the “uncensored” version and that sold me, but I continue to be unsure on watching it, that is until the day of the premiere where I was randomly seeing screenshots of the episode on my timeline, particularly scenes where the girl Kirara was completely naked, and I was absolutely sold on it and decided to watch it, and after doing so, I kinda dig it.

However, I dislike Kirara because of how she is. It makes me feel bad for how she used to be when she was a kid during some flashbacks where she was a dirty minded girl to present day where she’s a hardcore tsundere hiding her horniness, the way she is, it really makes me hard to empathize with her. She’s pretty cute and hot too.

Re:Zero season 2: It feels weird having a second season of Re:Zero considering it’s been 4 years since the first season came out, and after watching the first episode, now I just feel unprepared.

Oregairu season 3: While I was watching the episode, I was randomly reminiscing some memories and characters I remember from the first two seasons and who do I like, which I kinda like most characters, but Komachi is my least favorite because she constantly says “gross” to poor Hachiman, geez.

Uzaki-chan: This was a pretty solid series and this is definitely being AOTS. However, recently I found something very hilarious that I’m dying to talk about.

Remember the time when there was a controversy from an SJW where they criticized the Uzaki-chan Japanese Red Cross poster because of her big boobs? Well, that’s a separate story, but things with Uzaki-chan gets more laughable, as I stumbled upon this tweet a few days ago and...

Anime News Network gave the first episode a 1.5 star review?!

Holy jesus... What is that?! What the fuck is that?!

Yikes, Anime News Network are a bunch of clowns!

I’m really glad ANN is getting the hate it deserves, I just don’t like ANN when they do reviews, I never liked them since their discussion post on Netsuzou Trap and then episode 0 of Saekano season 2.

All that aside, this series is going to be quite a fun ride.

This Summer season could have been strong if only Akudama Drive and Danmachi season 3 weren’t delayed, but that’s for the better as Fall 2020 is looking like it’s the strongest season of the year, and you’ll find out why in September.

And that’s it for all my reviews! I really hope you enjoyed my biased reviews and I can’t wait to continue to make these reviews just like I used to. Also, let me address that I don’t make money from making these reviews, I only write these posts for fun.

Anyways, see you in Fall 2020 for my review for this Summer season and what am I gonna watch in Fall!

Check out my Carrd.

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