#I NEVER make videos about characters/couples I don't like so I think it's safe to say Blaine hit a nerve

[murkycran]

Radiostatic/Voxal Fic Rec List

Welcome to my Radiostatic/Voxal Fic Rec List! ^_^ This will include romantic, platonic, and/or queerplatonic Radiostatic fics (and admittedly probably a couple of Radiosilence fics, too).

I will keep updating this periodically as I read more fics, so feel free to check back every once and a while! I'll reblog it when I update it, plus make a note with the date at the top. Trust me, this is by no means a complete list; there's fics I still want to add to this that I just haven't gotten to yet. I just decided to go ahead and post it anyways, because if I kept waiting until I ran out of fics to rec I'd probably be working on this forever.

These are not in any particular order; I'm going by both my Bookmarks list on AO3 and my memory of fics I forgot to bookmark. I also tried to make notes on what fics were written before season 1 released, but I might have missed some, so keep that in mind.

Please let me know if any links don't work or are wrong!

✨Before you proceed:✨ read the tags on these fics if you decide to read them. Many of them have heavy material - no surprise given the fandom, but still, felt like this needed said. On that note, there's also fics with explicit material and some fics are straight up PWP. Again, read at your own risk/heed the tags.

Fic Rec List Masterpost

Staticmoth Fic Rec List

Misc. Vox Fic Rec List

------

Radio Healed the Video Star by Aspiring_Forest_Witch

Summary: Alastor comes across an unconscious and battered Vox while out on one of his strolls. He feels compelled to bring him back to the hotel.

Notes: 98% of this fic was written before season 1 was released, so keep that in mind, because there's obviously going to be inconsistencies with canon. It's nearly finished (at least according to the author's notes in the latest chapters, I think). I suggest pacing yourself with this one - it's nearly 700k words long. I ruined a good sleep schedule staying up to get through it. (So worth it though.) There are quite a few OCs in later chapters, but they're such good OCs. You fall in love with them just as much as the canon characters, I swear. I would die for Verity and the Trio.

Let's Misbehave by joosymango

Summary: Alastor wins a bet against Vox, now his rival must stop pestering him for two weeks. It should be a pleasant break! So why does he miss the idiot?

Notes: Vaguely inspired by Aspiring_Forest_Witch's Radio Healed the Video Star. Also largely written before season 1 release. First fic I read for the HH fandom. ^_^

Safe with Me Series by rillo (rillyrillo)

Summary: Having only ever set his sights on men who treat women with odious disrespect, Alastor never thought he'd take interest in Vox's turbulent relationship with his fiancé and business partner, Valentino. He decides to lend a helping hand in the hopes of getting Vox out of his sticky situation. After all, what are childhood enemies for?

Unfortunately, neither Alastor nor Vox could've predicted the rollercoaster of unsaid emotions and future horrors that are thrown their way. Will they be able to rely on each other and get by unscathed? Or will destiny have other plans for these two?

[HUMAN AU] [There's art included for the human designs]

Notes: It's so, so good. ;-; Heed the tags. There's a prequel consisting of oneshots, plus a sequel (listed below, bc I can't not put it here)! And there's ART! So much art!

You, My Everything by rillo (rillyrillo)

Summary: Some say that love can conquer all, even in Hell.

Vox begged to differ, and he was damn well sure Alastor did too – or at least he would be, if Alastor hadn’t become one big question mark.

Sequel to Safe with Me.

Notes: Only read if you've read Safe With Me!!! Still pretty early in the story but so good. ;-; The angst, I swear...

You're on the Air by rillo (rillyrillo)

Summary: A series of short, daily conversations between a radio host and his avid listener, as the two learn more about each other’s lives over the air. Set in the late 90s/early 2000s.

Notes: Same author as Safe with Me, but not set in the same universe! This one is set up in a literal radio show format; almost entirely dialogue-centric.

Of Candied Pine and Cherried Smoke by rillo (rillyrillo)

Summary: Inspired by x_Arcticfox_x’s fanfiction: Blue Raspberries And Cherry Cola

After overdosing on them one too many times to curb the steadily weakening suppressants, Vox's body rejects them outright. Now with his scent getting stronger, he finds himself struggling to hide his true status as an Omega. In his desperation, he seeks help from the one person that knows his secret: Alastor.

Notes: Omegaverse. Same author as Safe with Me series and You're on the Air!

Blue Raspberries And Cherry Cola by x_Arcticfox_x

Summary: Vox is an omega, that's his biggest secret.

During his life time he hid this fact using suppressants, and counited to in death. One day he runs out of pills and his supplier is out of stock for the time being so Vox is forced to submit to the torture of going through heat for the first time in decades.

Too bad his business partner only see's omega's as mere object's...

But hey, at least Angel found him just in time, right?

Notes: Omegaverse. Currently on hold, but has 14 chapters currently available for reading. :)

Once Bitten, Twice Shy by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Alastor decides that it's time to claim what is rightfully his, consequences be damned.

Notes: It's not porn but it might as well have been for how fucking intense this scene was. 😳

Dripping Pink by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Just before an Overlord meeting, Alastor gets infected by an off-market, highly potent, and incredibly dangerous love potion. Nobody realises until it's too late.

Notes: Simultaneously funny as fuck and erotic as all hell. I suffered from so much secondhand embarrassment on Vox's behalf. It's wonderful. :D

Lucidity's Fog by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Ever since he met Alastor, Vox has been having raunchy dreams about the deer. Those dreams suddenly stop when Alastor disappears. For seven years, he's free of the guilt, of the shame brought on by his unconscious desire.

Until Alastor comes back, and Vox is plagued by a new dream the same day he finds out about the news. This time, however, something is distinctively different about how the deer is acting.

Notes: Author tagged for light angst, but ngl the ending did not feel like 'light' angst to me lol. Hurt in a good way.

Finger Tips and Dotted Lips by The_Penny_Tails

Summary: Alastor has sensitive hands; he finds this out at the most inconvenient time possible. Unfortunately, Vox is the one who ends up paying the price for it.

Having to help a seemingly broken Overlord whilst navigating this new discovery proves to be a little more taxing than the Radio Demon could ever have imagined.

Notes: Alastor is such a troll in this omg.

Thawing Out by Seaside_Dreaming

Summary: Seeing a small crack in Vox's screen nags at Alastor more than he likes to admit.

Vox wishes things were better. Sooner or later, Alastor has to come to terms with the fact he has feelings, in general.

Notes: Written before season 1 release. HIGHLY suggest reading the prequel one-shot. It's not necessary to understand the plot here, but you should read it anyway.

Static by passthevoxcord

Summary: Vox creates a new and improved version of himself to please Val, only to be replaced by it. He is left beaten and broken with no one to turn to . . . except maybe his oldest enemy, Alastor.

Notes: Written before season 1 release.

Hating you feels so good by TwoBitJester

Summary: Vox obsesses over his returned enemy and finds himself a little too wound up

Notes: Very good PWP.

Laced Over Dinner by hazbinhearts

Summary: Vox is persuaded to dress a little differently over dinner for Alastor, but finds it remarkably uncomfortable as the night goes on. Written for VoxWeek21 Day 3: dressing up [appearance, formal, dance].

Notes: Written before season 1 release. Corsets. 😳

Observer by DeviousPossum

Summary: He moved the cursor to click off, when he suddenly heard a very recognizable static laced tone.

Alastor.

Alastor.

What the fuck. Alastor is singing.

Vox unintentionally ran claw marks across his desk, an increasingly common habit for him as of late. He grimaced at his now ruined table and unsuccessfully tried to reel in an inexplicable feeling that could only be described as jealousy.

Notes: Porn with a tiny bit of plot in the first chapter. :3

RadioTV Week 2021 Series by Heliosolar

Summary: Pretty much the title; various prompts.

Notes: Written before season 1 release. All worth reading, though they aren't connected.

Sharkblocking by Anonymous

Summary: Alastor is Vox’s number one rival. Incidentally, though nobody involved is aware of it, Alastor’s number one rival is actually Vox’s pet shark.

In which Alastor is actually a little obsessed back and Vark is the biggest obstacle to Radiostatic short of canon itself.

Notes: VARK!

Control + V by TooManyPsuedonyms

Summary: Vox and Alastor have a... thing. Not quite a relationship, but something. Vox is too scared to define it properly, and Alastor is dead set that Vox will eventually get bored of his lack of reciprocity and move on.

So, Valentino tries to show Vox what he is missing.

... too bad Vox didn't want him like that. ... too bad Alastor didn't know want is a vague word.

Notes: Heed the tags!!! There's currently a sequel; I haven't read it yet, but I definitely plan to. 👀

gift of the magi by vol_ctrl

Summary: "... Although husband and wife are now left with gifts that neither one can use, they realize how far they are willing to go to show their love for each other, and how priceless their love really is ..."

Alastor/Vox established relationship fluff.

Notes: Written before season 1 release. Very sweet. ^_^

the lost tape by vol_ctrl

Summary: There's a NEW ambitious media demon in Pentagram City. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, right?

Notes: Written before season 1 release.

12 Days of Yuletide by vol_ctrl

Summary: A parody of the 12 Days of Christmas traditional tune, as can only be done by Vox gifting to his beloved adversary.

Or, a series of letters from the desk of Alastor upon receiving a series of increasingly elaborate gifts from his insufferably modern foil during the holiday season.

Notes: Written before season 1 release.

Fear makes the heart grow fonder by Graysongirl

Summary: After a bit of inspiration from an unlikely source Vox comes up with the plan that scaring Alastor is the best route to gaining his affections. The haunted house at LuLu World seems like the perfect (safe) environment for a bit of pre-planned scaring...

[Stand-alone staticradio]

Notes: Written before season 1 release. Funny af. "Red! Red!" XD

Cordyceps, King of Ants by spappest

Summary: Vox is tired. Of Valentino. Of Velvette. Of Alastor, and Hell, and everything in between. He can't escape, but he can cut himself off, piece by piece, until he feels nothing at all. Alastor takes exception to this approach and commissions a certain princess of Hell to fix his foe. Now Vox has a hotel of misfits on one side of him, overlords on the other, and Alastor crushing his cage ever smaller.

Clearly, the only way Vox will get any peace and quiet is to just kill God.

Valentino did always tell him that he had no chill.

Notes: Started before season 1 was released. Technically features Staticmoth but it's not the focus as much as Radiostatic (which honestly has a relationship status of ??? not romantic but also not friendship or even strictly enemies...just...Alastor and Vox). O_O I think about this fic on a daily basis.

Russian Roulette by spappest

Summary: Vox and Alastor play a game that Vox is way too excited to lose.

Notes: Started before season 1 release. Take note!!! I'm putting this on the Radiostatic list because it's almost entirely centered on Alastor and Vox's dynamic, but the romantic relationship is Staticmoth. The Staticmoth is just not featured very much.

Vox and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Afterlife by spappest

Summary: Alastor goes into rut.

Vox has a bad time. Then a good time. Then a very bad time. Then a brief vacation. Then a confusing time.

Notes: Background Staticmoth, but Radiostatic is most prominent. Funny af. Alastor and Vox have...a very special relationship. Lol.

Killer Ex by FanGirl48

Summary: Alastor was a serial killer who valued his privacy. So when someone who claims to know what he is tries to barge into his life he can't let them live, his secret must be protected at all cost.

A normally easy task easy task becomes complicated when Alastor's ex-boyfriend is dragged into the whole thing forcing the serial killer to go visit them for the first time in seven years.

Notes: Human AU. Love me some possessive Alastor. <3

Negotiations by FanGirl48

Summary: Vox had no interest in attending a meeting between Heaven and Hell following the failed attack by the Adam and his Exterminators. Alastor's little gremlin caused the mess, so he can go clean it up. Vox had nothing wanted nothing to do with the radio demon, king of hell or heaven.

But that was before Lucifer made the media overlord aware of Valentino's little job offer to his daughter.

Damnit Valentino!

Notes: "And they were roommates!" "Oh my god they were roommates"

Down, Up, and Back Down by CowboyEnthusiast

Summary: Vox dies. Surprisingly no one takes this well.

Or, Vox dies and Alastor tries to drag his soul back from Purgatory.

Notes: Another fic I think about daily... Heavy themes. Heed the tags.

Hold Me Like a Grudge by Rachello344

Summary: Alastor has spent a long time running from Vox. Vox has chased after him almost as long. When suppressants fail throughout the city, they finally collide.

Notes: Omegaverse. Fun fact about this author: all their Radiostatic fic titles are from Fall Out Boy lyrics lol. (I fucking love FOB sue me.) I haven't yet read all of Rachello344's Radiostatic fics, BUT I have them all on my To Read list because I've loved everything I've read of theirs so far lol.

What Makes You So Special? by Rachello344

Summary: With Lucifer’s return to the Pride Ring, the other Deadly Sins were bound to take notice. When Asmodeus stops by the Pride Ring to visit the Morningstars, the Vees are able to make a deal to host a pop-up shop of the incredibly popular Lust Ring establishment, Ozzie’s, bringing it to the Pride Ring for the first time.

When Vox and Alastor both attend the restaurant’s opening night, long repressed sparks fly, forever changing their relationship.

Notes: Because of the pacing of this (sex first romance later), I feel like this is the Radiostatic equivalent of Femalefonzie's Freak-A-Zoid (a really good Staticmoth fic). This is hands down one of the most romantic Radiostatic fics I've read. ^_^

Hold Me Tight (or Don't) by Rachello344

Summary: Alastor and Vox finally come to an understanding, both of each other and of what they each mean to the other. Their relationship evolves accordingly, one concession at a time, until they both get everything they could possibly want: power, companionship, and even love.

Notes: So, so good.

Keep You Like an Oath by Rachello344

Summary: Alastor normally wouldn’t bother with the chore—breaking into V Tower was quite a lot of work, even for him—but he found himself curious about what Vox and his little friends might be working on. Especially since whatever it was had Angel concerned enough to report back to the rest of the hotel about it.

Of course, before he can learn anything, he’ll need to sneak past Vox’s watchful eye…

Notes: God it's just...so good. Read it. Radiostatic reconciliation. One thing I love about Rachello344 writing Radiostatic is Alastor's terms of endearment for Vox. ^_^

To Be Yours by pinegreenapples

Summary: Alastor hears something he hasn't heard in years. He decides to investigate why now, of all times, this frequency has turned back on. Vox is not amused.

Notes: Hurt no comfort. Hurts so good, though. ;-;

oleanders in june by spoondrifts

Summary: It seems like while Alastor was off preying on the self-destructive addictions of desperate sinners, Vox was off getting himself beaten half to death, probably from spouting belligerent nonsense at someone with violent tendencies and a far lower threshold for disrespect than Alastor. Not everyone finds poor Vox’s chatter as charming as he does.

If Vox is unconscious, then Vox is not being entertaining, and Alastor came here to have fun, not play nursemaid.

Or: Drunk on power and itching to cause some mayhem, Alastor hunts down the only person in the city who's always up for anything. Unfortunately, he finds Vox... not exactly in tip-top shape. No matter; he can work with that too.

Notes: ^_^ Very sweet.

equilibrium by curtailed

Summary: Post-Finale. The Hotel finds Alastor right on the front lawn, unconscious and bleeding, still injured from Adam's blade. While he recovers, all of Hell scrambles to find out who his mysterious rescuer is.

Meanwhile, Vox tries not to freak out that he might have accidentally made a soul bond to save that deer asshole's life. All he had wanted to do was to scope out the ruins of Alastor's radio tower. Fuck him for being curious, he supposed.

Notes: This fic has me in a CHOKEHOLD. I love the characterizations so, so much. Manages to fit in humor alongside the angst. One of the best fight scenes I've ever seen put into words. Curtailed really took Vox and Alastor as characters and planned out a cool fucking fight scene using their unique abilities. I automatically love anything tagged with "one fell first but the other fell harder" lol.

candlelight by curtailed

Summary: Despite the #SirRepentious success, Heaven remains skeptical of a sinner's ability to change. Logic gets lost somewhere, and really, what's a better way to show sinners can be marginally less horrible than to stick two Overlords who hate each other in the same living space?

OR

Alastor and Vox play house.

Notes: The comedy of Alastor and Vox being forced to be civil with each other and then unintentionally becoming very domestic together. Lol

wallow by curtailed

Summary: A 2+1 fic. Two times when Alastor and Vox were in a love triangle (hard quote on love, hard quote on triangle), and the one time Alastor had Vox to himself.

Notes: Only 1 (very good) chapter so far, but safe to say pretty heavy already. Heed the tags.

Addicted by Dancingdog

Summary: After the latest argument with Valentino, Vox finds himself at the Hazbin Hotel. An injured Alastor is less-than-pleased to see him, which is understandable considering they are enemies.

But as more and more of Valentino's venom leaves his system, Vox begins to remember his days before V-Tower and he learns exactly why Alastor rejected his offer all those decades ago.

His memories return in fits and spurts - not all of them good. His past with Alastor isn't something he expected and it turns out that he isn't the only one suffering.

Notes: Dude. This fic hurt me. Such good angst.

Radio Made the Video Star Series by songofhell

Summary: Snippets of Vox and Alastor's afterlife, and their journey from strangers to friends to enemies to... something more.

Notes: Pretty much what the series summary says - a series of installments that chronicle the beginning and subsequent evolution of Alastor and Vox's relationship. Very good, has tons of possessive!Alastor, which I die for.

Uneasy by Saezs

Summary: “Something’s wrong with Voxy.”

Velvette’s eyes snapped to the tall moth pimp. “And?” she prompted with a raised eyebrow. As if she needed to deal with two piss babies this close to a show. Valentino shrugged, tapping away on his phone, and walked away to stand threateningly close to her new models. Before she could snap at him, she saw it; his wings were twitching. Barely noticeable to strangers, just under the hum of the building’s lights, he was squeaking with each tap of his fingers. She felt unease and a healthy dose of aggravation swirl in her stomach.

Or: Vox was roofied and sexually assaulted. Velvette tries to be better than her mother. Unexpected connections are formed.

Notes: Heed the tags! Features genderfluid Vox. :)

Five Times Vox and Alastor Danced and One Time They Didn't by Drowsy_Salamander

Summary: “I say, good fellow, what are you doing on the ground like that?”

The voice was perky, cheerful, and bright. It had a crisp mid-Atlantic accent, the kind Vox remembered being all the rage for stage and film performers back when he first entered the broadcast industry. The diction was crystal clear with every sound enunciated separately to maximise clarity, the consonants clicked and the vowels were broad. It was a performer’s voice.

A voice for radio.

Oh shit.

... Five times Vox and Alastor danced and one time Vox and Alastor didn't.

From their first meeting through their friendship, to their enmity and fighting. From infatuation to yearning to animosity. Dancing is a partnership, is it not?

Notes: Each chapter so far has been a different type of dance, which is really neat. Especially chapter 2. ^_^ That said, there's a feeling of impending doom, knowing what happens to their relationship eventually... Not saying that as a deterrent but just a comment on how I felt while reading it lol. It's very sweet, which is why it hurts to think of future chapters. 🙃

Days Long Past by Momo52

Summary: All sinners of hell bore some physical marks of how they lived and died. Some physical manifestations were more obvious while others were subtle. Vox was not an exception to this rule.

While his television head was an obvious indication of his life while on Earth, the mark he bore from his death was far more subdued. Luckily enough, his shame was easily concealed behind a high collar. Unfortunately, he is just as well known in his afterlife as he was in his life. As such, trying to make everyone believe that he is so much stronger than what his death implies is a constant battle. He only wished that he wasn’t the hardest one to convince.

Notes: I think platonic Radiostatic is the endgame here. Still pretty early in the story, but I'm really liking this author's depiction of Vox and Alastor's pasts. Heed the tags. There are heavy subjects such as suicide (very big theme for Vox's pov) and period-typical racism (in Alastor's past) present in the story.

Remote Access by x-UsoTsuki-x (its_not_reael)

Summary: In the aftermath of Alastor and Vox's electrifying on-air showdown, Vox finds himself unusually rattled. His usual suave demeanor is slipping, much to his cohorts' amusement – and concern. Velvet can do little more than roll her eyes at his antics. Valentino, on the other hand, is convinced that all Vox needs to do is get fucked and relax.

or, alternatively...

The tech-savvy overlord manages to snag a virus from a porn site and finds himself in the arms of his worst enemy.

Notes: Fairly certain this is firmly Radiosilence based on the tags (and the direction of the story so far). Very funny, very hot. Vox is pathetic in this one. Lol

Nun-thing Like You've Ever Seen Series by A_Cypress_Coffin

Summary: Alastor, the feared radio demon with more blood on his hands than most of hell combined, wasn't always as we imagine him. There was a time where instead of a dapper suit and smile he donned a simple vow and habit. That didn't last of course, but the journey is quite something.

Notes: This author has a great sense of humor, lmao. I enjoyed the unique headcanons for Alastor's backstory. The tag that hooked me: "Accidentally becoming a better person through bad domming and found family".

Empathia by The_Oblivious_Swallow

Summary: Creating new technology is boring, sex is physically unappealing, the other Vee’s are so annoying, annoying, annoying! Even Vark, his baby, his pride and joy, doesn’t stir the same joy in his heart like he should.

So, Vox had concluded that it had to go. For his sake.

Notes: Contains Staticmoth, but Radiostatic seems like the endgame (I write this as there is one chapter still left). Really interesting idea. I love Vox.exe so much. ;-;

Every Madman Has His Vice by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: “What the fuck do you want, Alastor? Was it not enough to kill me all those years ago? Now, you had to go for the people I loved and the only things I had left in this fucking Hellhole?”

“It was my fault,” Alastor whispers as he approaches Vox slowly, as if he was some sort of wounded animal he didn’t want to scare off. His prey. “Vox, I’m sorry. If I had a chance to redo that night, I would never have hurt you to this extent. I’ll never harm you again.”

“That’s seven years too fucking late, Alastor.”

OR: Seven years ago, instead of Alastor disappearing, it was Vox who left instead.

Notes: I’m so fucking here for this AU. Possessive Alastor, Vox helping with the hotel, Husk is still an Overlord, yessss

Metathesiophobia (Fear of Change) by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: There's a lot that can change in seven years.

But never once had Alastor expected for something like this from his old rival and older friend.

Or, Alastor and Vox start to rekindle their old friendship again after a shocking discovery strikes the deer demon.

Notes: QPR Radiostatic with MtF Vox! Contains a smidge of Staticmoth, but it's in the background and not the focus. Very well written.

surimi and venison by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: A series of short drabbles (500+ words) in an interconnected universe (peep the tags, they're still in hell), centering around Alastor and his new pet fish... shark... television thing. Will (hopefully) update 1-2 times a week. Written as my attempt at a Mermay series.

Notes: Like the summary says, Mermay prompts featuring SharkHybrid!Vox, along with Alastor, who literally saw Vox and decided to make him his pet. Lol.

an arm and a leg, my dear, les yeux d'la tête by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: “I mean, usually when Val gets mad he gets like, super pissy too an’ starts destroyin’ shit ‘round the set and in his clubs, but like, usually Vox can calm him down. Problem is, where the Hell is that guy? I haven’t seen ‘im round the Tower for like, a month or two now. That ain’t normal.”

“What, so you mean he just up and left?”

“No, but like… he hasn’t been seen ‘in public’ for like, two months now. It’s startin’ to get suspicious. Like, I ‘unno if I’m just paranoid or something, but… Vox is like, the fuckin’ face of Hell’s Entertainment District. When he’s not round for a bit, that’s nothing to worry about on its own… but when he’s not round for a bit an’ Val and Velvette are creeping around, looking for his rival…? I mean… the dots are connecting. If Al did something…”

“If Vox was dead, we would know.” OR: Two months ago, Vox went missing. Right now, it seems as if Alastor has something to hide.

Notes: Vox gets attic-wifed and wears a virgin killer sweater. ^_^

we'll go down together in the ashes of our love by phantasm_png (chibellero)

Summary: Glimpses into the Radio Demon's life as he reluctantly navigates parenthood with his co-parenting partner and the demon princess hoisted onto him by the King and Queen of Hell.

Loosely inspired by Spy X Family.

Notes: CUTE! I love domestic Radiostatic.

What Has Been by Tianren

Summary: Vox has never known peace. From being the son of a egocentric cult leader, to being the boyfriend of a self absorbed abuser. Vox has managed to build a pretty sad life for himself. The only spot of sunshine that had ever blessed his existence was when he met an amateur true crime investigative journalist, with a podcast named, Alastor. The man was his only source of unfiltered news and contact to the world outside his father’s compound. But after Vox finally escaped the cult he waited for Alastor. Waited weeks in their assigned meeting spot just to be forgotten. Vox was convinced he’d stopped waiting for Alastor years ago until he meets the man again seven years later at a hotel. What will reconnecting with his past lead to and will it help him escape the hell he’s built for himself?

Takes place in the late 2000s early 2010s

Trigger warning for religious trauma and abuse as major themes of this story. Will add more warnings if they arise as I go on.

Notes: Really interesting human AU concept!

(Fic rec list to be continued)

[wayfayrr]

Some thoughts on self aware chain.

I like the idea wise that the links who had more games tied to their belt would remember reader much more and be even more on the edge since the hole thing about having reader to be their with you, comfort and wisdom and then they suddenly you don't hear their voice and now things are quiet and now when you have another battle hylia wants you to do suddenly reader is back and their confused "but thankfully reader is back right, they won't leave right? And now their gone. The links that don't know their is a screen between them and reader or the fact their in a video game would think reader's disappearing and reappearing has something to do with hylia and further their resentment towards hylia or the ones who haven't gotten to hate hylia would hope that reader didn't choose to suddenly leave them and they are safe. Some of the links who are a 'little' obsessive would probably not stop till they learn why reader is gone even when someone gets hurt, (I'm looking at you sage) the crash they would feel when no one knows reader, this would definitely make them question their sanity making them wondering if reader was even Real, that they just made them up, after all a lot of their adventures they were alone and the ones who seen things that would give soldiers nightmares, the possibility they made up reader because they were alone and they needed a companion this is strong with the ones who shown to lose someone in their life or never had someone there for their back like twilight, legend,wild,hyrule and sage. Some of them would let go, others would still believe reader is real and that they didn't make them up. The ones who had more games would remember reader more clearly and when they see reader again with the chain? It's a shock where multiple emotions hit them varying from griefs sorrow rage happiness and just hits them all at once causing an outsider to think their frozen for a minute. Some would ask questions to reader from why did you leave and if the links know that each other know they know reader it would make them believe that reader isn't fake because how does heroes from many eras have the same memories of a person and so the question on how is reader able to age at all. And because of everything above the links would probably be even more worse, I mean quicker to get possessive and more clingy and much more controlling and more willing to kill people who get in between them and reader then before too the point even when someone outside the chain just simply smile at reader do they get possessive and just cage reader in their arms or just glare at the person foe the links who are shorter than reader.

I love how you've brought up the fact that some link's do know that there's a screen between them and reader - for me there are a couple that would realise that they were in a game during the game, Sky being the main one due to a couple of things to do with his game (the glitches and how characters speak to him) Something I also noticed when playing skyward sword HD is that his eyes loosely track the camera! so in my opinion he's the most likely to realise he's in a game quickly!

For Sage I reckon he start exactly as you said!!! he'd get so so so desperate to know why reader keeps slipping out for sections that he starts to question his sanity and question why only he knows reader. Why he's the only one who can hear them, even questioning some of the things they say- then small things that he could've ignored start to add up and he realises he's not the one in control of his body... Until there's a moment it clicks that he's in a game, that his darling reader doesn't see him as a person. but they treat him so much better than anyone else ever has so all he needs to do is find a way to make himself real to them. How hard could that be? If there's a way that he could realise he was within a game there has to be a way to get out right? He just needs to find it.

Sage and sky both have switch games... maybe they'd work together if they both knew the other was aware? coming to an agreement to share reader when they find their way out. Wild would be included in this as well if he managed to figure it out - although I feel he'd be one of the links who are less likely to figure it all out.

as for the other links you've listed? Twilight is on the verge of knowing, and the other links with the older games are even less likely to ever connect the dots just due to the nature of their games (there are situations where they could? but they're just less likely to happen than in the newer games) So they'd act exactly as you said! they'd assume either Hylia is behind reader's disappearances, or some other force preventing them from staying. so if they met reader with the chain? like with two they'd be instantly on reader and so much more clingy and possessive compared to usual, seeing as they've never been able to keep them with them before. legend wouldn't ever let go of them again. he couldn't risk not being able to see them again. sidenote I love the idea of just how possessive they eventually get of the reader - glaring at anyone and constantly holding them tight to their side.

[wizard-finix]

Ao3 tag game!

THANKS @ragecndybars FOR THE TAG I APPRECIATE IT

*cracks knuckles* lets do this

How many works do you have on AO3?

24 works! I would have never expected to have that many 5 years ago, hahaha

What's your total AO3 word count?

186,291! oh wow, almost 200k!! (unsurprisingly PT minato takes up over a third of that LMAO)

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

10 fandoms! I'm counting Persona 3, 4, and 5 and separate, but I'm grouping all the Zelda fandoms together since it's all Linked Universe fic.

Here's the breakdown!

The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms (6)

Persona 5 (5)

Persona 3 (5)

SPY x FAMILY (Anime) (3)

Wizard101 (Video Game) (3)

SPY x FAMILY (Manga) (3)

Runescape (Video Games) (3)

Pirate101 (Video Game) (3)

Persona 4 (2)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom (2)

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga (1)

Star Wars - All Media Types (1)

The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors (1)

Top five fics by kudos:

The Ghost of Mementos/Stygian Ringlet (Persona3/5) - to the surprise of absolutely no one, since this is currently my longest fic. I'm very happy with Stygian Ringlet being the top because I love my boys :)

True Crime Special on the Midnight Channel (Persona 4/5) - my Ren has a TV Dungeon fic! also very proud of the dungeon concept for this one, I really need to finish the last two chapters

Dark Clouds on the Horizon (Linked Universe/TOTK) - I feel like this one got a lot of momentum partially because it was directly in the wake of TOTK's release, but I'm happy with how it turned out :)

Strangers Are Just Friends You Haven't Met (Persona 3/SPY x FAMILY) - this was a collab series with mewrose and a few others in the marigolds discord! we were throwing ideas at the wall to see what stuck and I really had a lot of fun with Shinjiro-related prompts, because I LOVE him and hitting him with the isekai baseball bat into a universe with Anya brings me great joy

Salt Tears and Raindrops (Linked Universe/TOTK) - directly related to Dark Clouds, and I'm glad people enjoyed good ol' fashioned angst >:) (I do need to post more of my wips, I do have a couple more roleswap AU wips that I want to post)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I almost always do because I really appreciate them and its my way of saying thanks for the comment! If I don't comment it's because I lost track of it or because I can't think of a response.

What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?

Probably Salt Tears and Raindrops. I was in a Mood and decided to go for the tried-and-true method of putting fictional characters I like through the emotional wringer. That's how I got the rough draft for this fic :)

Do you write crossovers?

*looks at my persona fics and recent LU fics*

...I think it's safe to say most of my fics these days fall under crossovers lmao

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

I wouldn't say I have? One or two comments that came off as rude, but no actual hate, thankfully. If I did, I forgot about it. I've been blessed by wonderfully nice readers <3

Do you write smut?

Nope. I don't read it, so I wouldn't know how to write it anyway.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? I sure hope not.

I have seen a couple short fics slightly imitate Ghost of Mementos though, which I thought was really sweet that they liked it enough to inspire their own writing.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd definitely be open to it!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

RYOMINA. Hands down. I love them so much, I am so mentally unwell about these two

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

My two Runescape fics, Whispers in the Temple and Welcome to the Jungle. I absolutely loved going hogwild with rewriting old quests in Runescape, but I psyched myself out of Welcome to the Jungle because I got overly anxious about accidentally doing bad representation.

(in hindsight, it probably wouldn't have been as big a deal as I thought; it's hard to make it worse considering how bad Legend's Quest was with the british-african stereotypes. that quest DID NOT age well.)

I also want to finish Snake in the Grass; that was my first attempt at a genuine mystery plot and I really liked playing with Warriors in that fic in the context of the gang trying to figure out who the heck is trying to murder him.

What are your writing strengths?

I feel like I'm pretty good at dialogue! I try to make sure it matches the character's speech patterns and personality. Really well-written dialogue can tell you who's speaking without actually telling who it is. (For example, the way I write them: Minato speaks as few words as possible and has very little filter with his observations when he does share them, and Shinjiro is pretty rough around the edges, with shortened words and the occasional swear. Warriors is good with words and wit, but he has a certain military-esque directness and doesn't dance around the topic.)

I do try hard to keep the plot clear and understandable over everything else, so probably that as well.

Also, now that I think about it, maybe fight sequences? I don't do them much, but I do enjoy the challenge of making a clear sequence of what happens in a fight and trying to make it understandable. Fight sequences are easy to skip or gloss over, but I think of them like their own miniature plot. What happens? What surprises are there? What are their movesets? How do they get the upper hand? (and of course, what looks cool as fuck)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Time management. I tend to over-proofread since I beta my own work, and often I'll go back to tweak stuff if I had additional thoughts to add to it, or extra insight. Lately, it takes longer to write chapters than I'd like.

Also, dialogue-heavy scenes often get very chaotic in my WIPs because of the way I rough out fics. I'll throw together a bunch of dialogue bits I think would be cool to include, and sometimes they'll clash or get really messy, especially if there's lots of characters (looking at the latest two chapters of Stygian Ringlet)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I think it's cool! It adds flavor to fics. If it's more than one short phrase though, or if it's story important, then I do prefer that there is a translation in the author's notes. I haven't done any non-English dialogue in fics, save for one memorable adventure into trying to figure out how Latin grammar structure works for a character that didn't speak English.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Wizard101 and Pirate101. I was obsessed with those two for YEARS. I really, really liked pirate stories in high school, and having a cast of crewmates that accompany you throughout the game really inspired me to write my first fic featuring my OC. (I was also into One Piece at the time, but I never wrote for it.)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

Stygian Ringlet. It's really dear to my heart. I have poured so much love and effort into that fic, and the reception on it has completely blown me away.

THANKS FOR THE TAG!! Uhhhmmm for tags I'm going to go with @skyward-floored, @catreginae and @breannasfluff (but only if you want to!! no obligation of course)

and of course any other writers that want to do it as well!! go forth

[lettingthoughtsflow]

lab rats 🤝 chappell roan

inspired by @imasimpcentral

this is going off 97% vibes at 3% character analysis (i love chappell but there's def a 60/40 chance that some of these takes are not good interpretations)

femininomenon: tasha and bree fs

"stuck in the suburbs, you're folding his laundry" omg tasha my girl you deserved so much better than the man child billionare

if the boys kept up with playing instruments, bree def would've got them to learn this song

red wine supernova: literally everyone this song is so addicting

after midnight: also addicting and i want to say everyone but donald bc he doesn’t deserve it

I imagine chase playing this to hype himself up when he has plans to go out

coffee: omg adam, bree, and chase without question

"nowhere else is safe, every place leads back to your place" I know it's alluding to the couple ending up together but in the context of lab rats, abc can never get away from davenport and the bionic life. they never even get the chance to consider something

"you'll say that your sorry, I know it's a lie"

"if i didn't love you, it would be fine" omg this post by @texanmarcusdavenport

casual: Bree, Leo, Chase, and Douglas

basically anyone who struggled with relationships in the show tbh

someone would catch douglas singing the song and join him like that scene from friends

super graphic ultra modern girl: bree has this on repeat

adam brings just enough girly pop energy

leo too

one day tasha walks in on the kids dancing to it and joins in

chase walks in and slowly joins in like that scene from abott elementary

tumblr won't let me post another video so i made an extra post for the video

HOT TO GO!: obviously this goes to our two cheerleaders, adam and bree

davenport would be the person who tries to changed the dance routine

tasha would try to add to it or build a routine for the rest of the song bc she likes to be invovled

omg tasha would make them cheer outfits just so they could wear them for these songs

My Kink Is Karma: both davenport brothers tbh (mainly Douglas)

i didn't want to give donald one but if we ever saw him actually process the fact that his brother faked his death just to come back to attack his family and then get a parner and be more evil, this would be his song

douglas listens to this after leaving his partnership with krane

omg wait he would think about giselle too

Picture You: all of the siblings

"do you picture me like I picture you" -> am i the child you wanted? are you the dad I wanted?

are you the dad I deserve?

this is def me just interpreting this one line

Kaleidoscope: tasha, bree, chase, leo, and adam

tasha deserved to be treated better and fully acknowledged

bree, chase, and leo all had those messy coming-of-age relationships

adam doesn't relate to this song in the sense of romantic love bc he didn't have relationships (and i fully support the aroarce!Adam head cannon)

this still applies to the familial love and relationship with davenport

Pink Pony Club: @imasimpcentral put it best here but this is all the siblings

they're literally trapped in mission creek/bionic island

they can never leave the bionic life

they were all trying to prove themselves

leo the most during the bionic island season honestly

Naked In Manhattan: this song is so first relationship so all of the kids

bree basically modeled her life after high school movies after she was allowed out of the lab so this song is like nostalgia for her

adam vibes with the song but again he's aroace in my mind

i feel like chase would blush like crazy when he actually listens to the lyrics

i don't have a clear mindset with leo but i like to think that he vibes with chappell

California: all siblings – adam, bree, chase, and leo OH MY GOD MARCUS

specifically in the bionic rebellion for abc

they were thrown into the world of mentoring and then their top students rebelled

i think by that season they stopped caring about davenport but i feel like a small part of them has a lingering feeling of failure

when it comes to leo i just think about every time he tried to do something alone

"i'd make you proud. to think I almost had it going, but I let you down."

marcus literally did everything douglas asked him to and then came back to essentially complete his mission

and when he came back, he was working to make giselle proud just a bit

Guilty Pleasure: bree and chase

bree ached for normal life the most of all the siblings

she also fell for the bad guy

chase wanted friends so badly he could resonate with this song

[zarcsobsession]

Leon Headcanon

These things came to me while chatting with @coffeebrownn ! I only ask one thing! If you don't like how I see the character, please leave! don't comment with hate and other nonsense just because it's not the way you want it! Thank you! If this behavior continues, I will have no qualms about blocking anyone! ______________________________________________________________

-Its "origins" are all Italian 100%, but when he was a small child he was kidnapped, by people who wanted money from his parents. By these people it was moved to different countries, until it arrived in America! where his "parents" changed his name and surname so as not to be chased back, suffering something like Stockholm syndrome towards his kidnappers, starting to call them parents and thinking that they are his real family, he doesn't remember the real one , and no longer cares about them, if anyone ever discovers the truth.

Leon is an excellent cook, who is interested in cooking and knows how to cook a really good Italian dish, if he is not drunk and has nothing to do, he could spend whole days on the sofa scrolling through videos of recipes and how to make them. - he has always been a motorbike enthusiast, but he had never had the funds to fix them up, or buy one of his own... if you remember the motorbike from the Vengeance film, great! know that it is in one of his garages to be fixed and refurbished, he felt guilty when he literally threw it at Arias and zombies in general.

Leon owns several houses spread across America! Many are completely empty, and unusable. The house he uses the most is in Alaska! and it's a gift from President Graham, to thank him for bringing his daughter back safely! it is one of those villas that on the outside you wouldn't give it a cent, but on the inside it leaves you stunned, with a modern design, but always taking into account the place where they are located, therefore using original materials, such as wooden parts etc.

Leon remained friends with Ashley! Often if she feels like talking about letting off steam etc, Leon will offer to listen and support her, when he's not in the middle of a mission.

Leon suffers from depression and alcoholism! Chris is there to help him take all his medications and get him to stop drinking!

When he returned from Spain the government forced him to take other medicines, such as suppressants and hormones, due to pieces of plaga left in his body from Luis's machines.

Because of these drugs, Leon trains a lot in the gym to stay in normal shape, without pumping himself up too much, becoming Ethan's training tutor for a short time.

Ever since he returned from Spain, Leon began to have a greater interest in sweet foods, when he was in company with others, he often stole Rebecca's coffee and drank it without being noticed, he was always ashamed of this thing which left him the plague.

If alcohol makes him irritable and angry, and on missions he seems to joke about everything, Leon's true character is a quiet boy, who listens, taciturn, but always ready to support those in need. He uses the jokes and pranks during the mission as a defensive weapon for his psyche. - He's not attracted to sex! but only sentimentally!

Owns a Maine coon cat! a gift from Claire when they met again, and as a joke she gave him the name Albert Whiskers (sorry but I love this idea too much and I want to have a cat with that name too). also owns a dog, named Luis in his honor.

He remembers every date when people dear to him died, often taking days off work to go to their graves to put new flowers and talk to them for a while.

After he argued with Claire, Leon felt guilty for not telling him the truth, and that he did it to protect her, he still regrets the fight, and often when he is sad, his mind takes him back there.

He has a strange relationship with Chris and Ethan! Chris and Ethan are a couple (now it's canon for me!), Leon is also in this relationship, Chris being the one who has to take care of him and remind him of his medicines (Ethan once he saw the medicine cabinet of Leon made a joke like: "but are they in a pharmacy or in a bathroom?!", to help him with his alcohol addiction. Leon is not interested in them in a sexual way! Except that he gets along well with them and is afraid of losing them.

He always sleeps with a duvet or two, lots of pillows, and if he's hot he turns on the air conditioning, but he will never remove the duvets from his bed.

Minimalist in home decorations, meticulous in cleaning weapons! He has a room with all the weapons he found in his adventures, and he takes Krauser's knife and Luis's red nine into great consideration.

He's fucking pissed at Ada, ever since he discovered that the mercenary, sold his favorite sheep's coat to the merchant, Leon loved that coat and it was his favorite!

[circus-complex]

Beautiful Beach Day

Rating: Teen (For some vulgar language)

Relationships: Lang Qianqiu/Qi Rong, Guzi & Qi Rong, Guzi & Lang Qianqiu

Characters: Qi Rong, Lang Qianqiu, Guzi

Tags: Modern AU, Day At The Beach, Rated T for qi rong's language, Fluff, guzi gets to be a kid and qiurong are happy

Qi Rong, Lang Qianqiu, and Guzi all head to the beach for the day!

this is my first (finished) prompt for the TGCF rarepair G4G! prompt from @/tsunwalker (twt and AO3): qiurong, modern au, a beach day with guzi, preferably including something with qi rong being dramatic about wanting to avoid sunburn

and thanks to SilentKeeperOfStories (AO3) for beta-ing!

Also on AO3

Full work under the cut

“Dad said we could go to the beach today!” Guzi ran up to Lang Qianqiu and tugged at his arm.

“Oh, did he?”

“Yea! Come on, we leave in ten minutes!”

Lang Qianqiu quickly shoved his swimsuit, towel, and other beach necessities into a bag. He approached the car, seeing Guzi and Qi Rong were already inside.

“HA! You’re so fucking late, we’ll never get there! If we’re lucky, we might arrive before sundown,” Qi Rong scoffed.

“It’s eight in the morning, the beach is ten minutes away.” Lang Qianqiu rolled his eyes before quickly kissing Qi Rong on the cheek.

The drive was longer than Lang Qianqiu expected - it was a sunny day and traffic was horrendous.

“Bah, we could have left earlier if SOMEONE didn’t take so long,” Qi Rong remarked. There was no real malice in his voice, so Lang Qianqiu didn’t take it to heart. He was used to it after being with Qi Rong for a couple months.

Once they arrived, Qi Rong ordered Lang Qianqiu to pull most of the stuff out while he found a spot. Qi Rong was thorough, bringing everything from towels and food to sand toys and floaties for Guzi. It took three trips before the car was unpacked.

Qi Rong was picky in all sorts of ways - where his stuff went was one of them.

“Lay the mat out. No, not there. And you have to weigh it down with rocks! Lang Qianqiu, you better put that umbrella up. I refuse to get sunburnt! Give Guzi his water. No, that one is mine, do you have water for brains?”

“If you don't like me doing it, why don't you?”

“...”

“Dad! Can I go in the water?” Guzi interrupted the start of Qi Rong’s (weak) argument.

“Yea, just make sure the water doesn’t go past your knees!” Qi Rong said.

“I will, don’t worry,” Guzi replied. Once he had waded into the water, Qi Rong kept a close eye. No matter how much he acted like he didn’t care much about his adopted son, he was extremely protective. He was constantly fussing over Guzi and making sure he was safe and happy.

“Lang Qianqiu, help me put sunscreen on.”

Lang Qianqiu shrugged and grabbed the bottle.

“Make sure my back is fully covered! I can have a fucking sunburn because you decided to be lazy.”

“Alright, alright.” Lang Qianqiu did it twice, to ensure Qi Rong was happy.

Qi Rong pulled a chair from who-knows-where, and laid down. He pulled sunglasses out, and surprisingly, began to read.

“What are you gawking for?!” Qi Rong’s glare nearly bore a hole through Lang Qianqiu.

“I’ve never seen you read before.” Lang Qianqiu raised his hands defensively.

“So? What’s your point?”

“I….”

“Did you think I couldn’t read? Hm? I’m not illiterate, in case you didn’t know.”

“It just doesn’t seem like something you would do for fun.”

“What do you think I do?”

Lang Qianqiu had to think for a moment. “Watch TV? Play video games?”

“You think too lowly of me.”

“Dad! Look at what I found!” Guzi came running up, holding a crab.

Qi Rong leapt from his chair. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! GET IT AWAY!”

Guzi’s smile didn’t waver. “It’s a crab! See!”

“It's going to pinch me!”

“No it won’t, you’re no threat,” Lang Qianqiu teased.

“Eh? Are you saying I couldn’t kill it?” Qi Rong whipped around to face him.

“Guzi would be upset, so yes.”

“Hmph.” Qi Rong turned his attention back to Guzi. “Put that nasty little bug down.”

“It’s not a bug-”

“I don’t care what it is!”

Guzi shrugged and let the crab go.

It decided to move towards Qi Rong.

“AHHHHHH!!”

Lang Qianqiu chuckled before picking the creature up. He guided it away from his boyfriend.

“See? It won’t hurt you.”

“Doesn’t mean I want it near me,” Qi Rong grumbled.

Guzi had moved from playing in the water to building a sand castle. Qi Rong had brought all sorts of buckets and tools, and Guzi was taking advantage of each one. It was a large, hollow square with towers rising from each corner. He found small twigs to plant in each tower. Shells and rocks were embedded in the walls.

“Guzi, stand next to the castle.” Qi Rong pulled his phone out.

“Ok!”

Guzi smiled proudly as Qi Rong took photos. Once Qi Rong had finished, Guzi gave a tour of his castle.

“Here's the entrance - it’s marked by those two flags. Then here’s the tower where the prince lives, and the king and queen live in this one. Oh, that tower is for the dog. And that one’s for the cat!”

Qi Rong lightly patted Guzi’s head. “Very good, a masterpiece!”

“Dad, can we have lunch now?”

Lang Qianqiu pulled the cooler out. He tossed a sandwich into Guzi’s eager hands, and another at Qi Rong.

The three ate in mostly-silence. They enjoyed the summer sun and sounds of waves lapping at the shore, the blue sky and people chattering nearby. Qi Rong made occasional comments about sand in his food, but continued to eat anyway.

Once Guzi finished his sandwich, Lang Qianqiu pulled a popsicle out from the bottom of the cooler.

“Really?!” Guzi’s eyes went wide.

Lang Qianqiu laughed. “Yes, really.”

“Thank you!”

“Put sunscreen on my back again,” Qi Rong demanded. Lang Qianqiu obliged, if he didn’t Qi Rong would throw a fit the heavens could hear.

Once Lang Qianqiu finished, Qi Rong moved to rest his head in Lang Qianqiu’s lap. He pulled his book back out, and flipped to his page. Lang Qianqiu ran his fingers through Qi Rong’s hair while he watched Guzi run after birds. Checking his watch, he realized it was already 3:07 pm.

“Qi Rong, should we leave soon? I want Guzi to wash all of the sand off and get a shower before dinner.”

“Mm, ok.” Qi Rong slammed his book shut. “Guzi! We’re leaving now!”

“Coming!”

They piled everything back into the car. Driving home was a lot easier, people weren’t leaving quite yet.

Once they got home, Qi Rong made Guzi stand in the backyard while he sprayed him down with a hose. Guzi squealed when the cold water hit him.

“If you don’t stand still and get all this fucking sand off, you aren’t coming inside the house! The sand’ll clog the drains!”

Guzi groaned. “Fine, fine…”

Once Guzi had been properly cleaned, he was sent inside to get a proper shower. Lang Qianqiu pulled everything out of the car, and Qi Rong helped him put it away in its proper place.

“Come on, it’s your turn to make dinner tonight,” Lang Qianqiu said once Qi Rong showered as well.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Don’t try and get out of this, you haven’t cooked in two weeks.”

“But-”

“Making a bowl of cereal isn’t cooking.”

“Fine.”

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

man apparently these are still hard even when I'm not Literally Dying anymore :v

the sad sale went great, thank you for all the support everyone <3 I bought shelves and makeup and paper star papers and stickers and a new blanket, plus it's helping cover my allowance until my wife starts getting paid. I am already thinking I might do another sale in november just for fun lol

my wife has started orientation at her program and she's having a great time, our partner and I are gonna go down to visit her in a couple weeks :) I also finished rearranging all my furniture now that her furniture isn't here and it only made me terribly ill once!

I am really enjoying everyone singing along on [live and learm], I love enthusiasm <3

on [stars] @korattata said: HEY THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING ALL DAY!!!!! i just started learning last night! its a nice break at work to stop looking at the computer screen. they all still look a bit wonky and i think one of the sheets of paper is too thick but i'm just using paper i got from the supply closet and cut with the paper cutter lol

aw that's so cool! the ones that are like actually packaged for making paper stars are usually a bit thinner than printer paper, like other origami paper, but that also means they tear a lot more easily in the first step if you're not careful, so it's always a tradeoff. what a fun coincidence :>

on [hallway] @thesilentpotato said: the first thing i thought of was the "da dee la da dee la da" krabby patty zoom in scene from spongebob

lol I hadn't thought of that until you said it but you're so right (she is referencing [this scene] from the krusty krab training video for anyone unfamiliar)

(side note thank you to folks who put pronouns in easily findable places so I can refer to you correctly even if I don't know you <3 )

on [birthday] @joekingv1 said: *asks baby what gifts they received and if they would like to read/watch Komi Can't Communicate*

I never really got into komi because one of the side characters really squicks me out, but I have a friend that really loves it, so maybe they've watched it with her! I think they probably got to go somewhere fun for their birthday like a theme park or a zoo, and get a souvenir plush while they were there -u-

on [sheep] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a different line for kirby, which I still think about regularly lol

on [pills] @minty-spice said: op i hope your health improves and your empire of pills eventually shrinks

thank you <3 honestly I'd be happy with just the first one, I don't mind all the pills so much as long as they're actually helping.

on [crackers] @amatsuki said: made a bunch of cold noodles today with cucumber carrot chicken & sesame peanut soy sauce. the only actual cooking i had to do was boil water and steam chicken

oh hell yeah cold noodles are a fantastic example of a basic food to go feral over. now I want noodles too.........

on [thinking] @adrawrable said: hope you're cozy op

not right now as I type this because it is Computer Work Time, but in general I am So Cozy these days, I have a whole queen bed to myself so it's full of big stuffed animals and fluffy blankets :) (tbh even once my wife moves back here we may just all have individual beds we all seem very comfy this way lol)

on [slam] @jeaniechibi said: we'll be right back ➡️ shshgdtsudtdidh why is every bit of art with a blurr effect so damn funny 🤣

it truly is, I love a thoughtfully applied motion blur (or perspective blur can be funny too) (altho tbh I don't use the perspective blur tool for those I just use separate layers and gaussian blur) (for anyone unfamiliar this is a reference to the eric andre show meme)

on [beehive] @galacticnova3 said: me @ wasp nests minus the frowning, little fellas doing their little fella activities. sometimes they squabble. the thinking man’s reality tv drama

true, true, gotta love little fella activities. personally I feel better observing from a safe distance, but we had a lot of wasps around my childhood home and I didn't really know how to get friendlier than not actively making them mad lol

anonymous asked: That profile is amazing

for some reason I don't feel like I understand, but thank you!

on [sale] @milkymoon-ramblings said: gahh why do so many people have so many cool probducts, the queers are tempting me with their cool swag. however I need to save money for my own cool swag (digital art)

I just love the phrase "the queers are tempting me with their cool swag", so relatable lol (also no worries to anyone who couldn't or didn't want to buy anything, it's not like I needed it to pay bills I just wanted treats :v )

on [solstice] @jaune-chat said: Definitely, the sun can fuck right off. I break into a rash if I get too much sun, and I can't walk outside without full body coverage to some degree or be itching for WEEKS! In order of preference, is fall, winter, spring, summer.

oof yeah my mom gets a bad rash from sun exposure too! I'm fortunate to not have that specific symptom, but dang it seems so inconvenient, especially if you're also sensitive to heat so being covered up puts you at additional risk. personally I rate winter a little higher than fall but otherwise yeah total agreement lol

on [rollerskates] @nexus-nebulae said: @ prev tags i used to daydream constantly about being able to roller skate everywhere because i would constantly think 'rolling would be way easier than dragging my feet everywhere rn' and it took me two months of constantly thinking about that before i realised OH i need a ROLLATOR that would help (<- i am not smart) i haven't actually tried roller skating bc i don't own skates but i have used a skateboard briefly and that also feels better than walking. i wonder.... if the roller skating rink nearby would allow me to use a rollator in the rink with skates on........ probably not lmao

honestly it takes so much to actually realize like "oh a mobility aid might help with this" which is like, a bad thing, but we're just gonna focus on the funny part for now happy disability pride month :v and tbh I think maybe they might let you do it??? cuz like at ice skating rinks they usually have those little penguins or just straight up plastic lawn chairs for people to support themselves on, so I don't think it would be that crazy to go out on the rollarink with a rollator? but also that's just me and I do not run the place or get paid minimum wage to keep people from breaking the place sooo lol

[applepiesandalibis]

So. A couple of posts ago I mentioned writing an explanation of why I adore each TPC album for a different reason (a thing that makes this specific album unique for me). Nobody asked for it. Here it is.

The first one, Young Bodies Heal Quickly holds a special place in my heart mostly because of its vibes. And also because I listened to it in the hard times and it really helped me to deal with some things. It manages to depict many different emotions and feelings perfectly: such as fear, anxiety, anger and in the end it even becomes really comforting, makes you feel safe and calm even if the rest of the album feels like the world is ruining and you're absolutely helpless. I really love how it contains both very energetic and very calm songs. I mean, pretty sure all of their records do, but here it's more noticeable and I like that contrast. ALSO, something about the voicemail sample with that agressive instrumental as a background... I just find it incredibly cool for whatever reason. In general, YBHQ has some of the coolest samples.

Hide the Kitchen Knives... Well, I don't listen to that one a lot, sadly :( Mostly because it's not on spotify (at least for me, heard some lucky people have it there) and it's not very comfortable to listen to it on other platforms. Still, I like it for — yet again — its unique vibe, cool instrumentals (God Forgive Us All is just..... mwah /pos) and also some thoughts John expresses on this record. I find the whole concept behind it very interesting.

God Bless Your Black Heart for the story it tells and the fact that absolutely everything on this album is connected. Makes my neurodivergent brain happy, I will NEVER get tired of (over)analyzing it and yapping about it. John said he worked very hard on this one and it really shows!!! I associate a lot of good moments in my life with GBYBH (even though the album itself is pretty dark) and Said the Spider to the Fly will always be one of my favorite music videos to ever exist. It means a lot to me and I rewatched it hundreds of times.

Then, Now You Are One Of Us, which has its SpOoKy atmosphere that is actually trying to hide a very hopeful message behind itself and no, I will NOT shut up about this. Plus, again, the samples are just perfect. It was the first album of theirs I heard and it really made me realize how good this band is. I know how cringy this probably sounds, but it actually changed my life and it only gets better with each listen.

Ctrl-Alt-Delete-U is just crazy. In a good way. I mean, a 40-minute song that is mostly just one phrase being repeated over and over again? Who do you think is eating this up? That's right: me. All of the other songs are great too, of course. I can't fully understand the concept behind this album tbh, but that's what I like about it.

Someday This Could All Be Yours is, as I previously said, the one I listen to the most. The natural disasters concept is something that really got my attention at first and the lyricism on here is INCREDIBLY good. Every song has its own mood and its own 'personality', which makes me want to came up with a character for each one of them (I already have a bunch of TPC based OCs, but still). Also I'm a big fan of the suffering that thinking about Vol. 2 brings me into👍🏻 /hj

And, of course, their older stuff (...And the Machines Are Winning, Essays on Frantic Desperation, singles like Dilbert, a Man If You Will, etc.) deserves being mentioned too. I feel like these guys were really vibing while recording this! The lyrics aren't that deep as they are on later records, sometimes you can't even understand what John is saying, but the instrumentals are amazing. John straight up tortures his guitar sometimes; it makes such a cool sound though, so it's totally worth it. They had a very great start and I love older TPC just as much as newer!!!

Obviously, I can't just not mention Nighty Nite in this. Dimples gives me a nostalgic feeling, but at the same time it's so dark and can easily make you anxious. My fav track from it is definetely Meaningless. Ironically, it makes me feel like life does have a meaning. I don't know. And again, the lyrics are very good here.

Until the Horror Goes is also very nostalgic, but in a slightly more positive way. John said this album is mostly about getting older and dealing with adult life and it does depict this feeling very well. It also has a really pretty cover — my favorite after the GBYBH one. The songs on it are catchy, I know them all by heart. The instrumentals are yummy too (take Animal Rites for example, it scratches my brain in such a good way). I like the more electronic sound it has and I think it was a good way to end John's career as a musician... (sobs)

TL;DR: The pAper chAse is the best band in the entire world and they have never released a single bad song. I love all of their records like they're my children (or even more, cause I don't really like children... you got the point). End rant.

[simp999]

A New Home Ch. 9

Various splatoon manga x Skilled! Isekai'd! Reader

Wc: 1.2k

A/N: Don't come at me for some gear similarities with other characters, I came up with these beloved characters before I even knew what the splatoon manga was aaa

Back to the start! Previous Next

Your newfound team continues to make great progress over the course of a couple days, and you wonder how much longer Rider will be training the blue team for.

Your team has been doing lots of ranked, and you're all already around rank A.

It doesn't take long for you to get a grip on their weaknesses and strong points, and their personalities. Leo reminds you of a mix of Gloves and Aloha, wanting to be trendy and fun, but he's also easily excited. Emotions are all over the place with this squid, he's pretty cool though. He kinda reminds you of an annoying little brother whom you're bound to love.

Milo's never one to be quiet, and he's got a big heart. That could be a good or bad thing, but you like to think of it as good. He's definitely the big brother type, and would do anything for his team. It's also pretty funny to see this scary, 6'1 or so person just start info-dumping, it's adorable really.

Tasha's always distant, and you find out that that's just how she is, it's not that she dislikes you or anything. She takes great care of her weapon, but struggles with voicing some things. She's often very blunt and feels bad about it at times, but doesn't show it. 

One thing's for sure though, these guys are all passionate about the game. And they feel like family, they give off a sense of home, which is very comforting. 

Tasha snipes another one of your opponents, saving Leo from getting splatted and securing another KO for your team. You look over at her, proud of how far they've come. Leo shouts a ‘Booyah’ and Tasha nods in acknowledgement. Now it's not just a jumbled mess of people everywhere, you all know your positions. Their weapons were already good for a team, they just didn't know how to use them. 

Tasha stands in the back, always on support. Leo always heads straight in, always on the offensive. Milo's job is to focus on the goal at hand, like the splatzone or tower, not letting anyone near said spot. You support all of your teammates, as a leader should. You're impressed with the progress you've made today, and offer to go to the mall with all the money you've just won. Leo's all for it, wanting to get a new video game that just dropped. Milo's down too, looking forward to a well deserved meal. Tasha's fine with it, she's craving boba anyways. You really need some decorations for your room, so you count up the money you have and make your way to the mall. 

Your first stop at the mall is the tea and boba shop, each getting a cup. You get your favorite flavor, Leo gets blueberry with mango popping pearls. Milo gets all watermelon, and Tasha gets a large cup with grape tea and strawberry popping pearls. Your next stop is the video game store, SquidStop. There’s a lot of anime figurines, video games, bags, hats, and other merchandise. Leo’s quick to spot a pink squid plush and run over to it, claiming it as his own. 

“Hey look! It looks like Aloha!”

Oh? He’s a fan of the S4? You suppose his energy does match Aloha’s somewhat, you’re not surprised he’s a fan. Milo goes over to him and shuffles through the plushie bin to find an orange squid plush. You see the smile on his face widen, the orange plush is safely secured. Leo looks over at Tasha after hugging his plush and gets an idea. He quickly sorts through the plushies to find a purple squid. He holds it above his head once found, and looks over at Tasha.

“Hey, look Tasha! I found Skull for ya!”

So, they’re fans of the S4? That’s nice, now you have an alibi for knowing so much about them if it ever comes up. You’re just a regular S4 fan is all, yup.

Tasha was browsing the acrylic charms when Leo caught her attention, and you notice her quickly pull up her bandanna and mumble something incomprehensible before going back to the charms.

Leo makes his way to the video games, looking for the latest ones. You figure that you should complete the collection, and you grab a cyan squid from the pile. You find a bunch of posters, some figures, and other merchandise to make your room feel more homey. You’re aware that this is going to be an expensive shopping spree, but you think you’ve deserved it. Tasha makes her way over to you, showing you four acrylic charms. They’re little squids, each corresponding to your main colors. Lime green for Milo, royal blue for Leo, purple for herself, and your main color for you. She shyly asks you if you think the others will like them.

“I think they’re cute, I’m sure Milo and Leo will love them.”

You didn’t want to embarrass her, but that’s just too sweet. She really does care for her team, even if she may not say it verbally.

The next few stops are the clothing stores. Milo was complaining about how his glasses got scratched in your guys' last battle. 

“You should get some sunglasses or something, you look dorky with those y’know.” 

Leo’s not wrong, but you found that it suited Milo’s soft personality well. But if you intend on being a scary team, you suppose that Milo would look good with sunglasses, even just for battle. Plus lots of the stages can get quite bright during the day.

“But they’re prescription! You know how bad my vision is, Leo!”

“Y’know, we can always just get prescription sunglasses, Milo.”

Milo complains that they’re too expensive, but you insist on paying for them. They’ve already done so much for you, after all, it’s the least you could do. You get Milo a pair of prescription tinted shades, and you make sure they fit just right before leaving the store. You spot an iconic piece of headgear, and you get an idea. You wordlessly go up to Tasha and gently grab the purple squid plush out of her hands. She’s hesitant to give it up, but she’s sure you won’t do anything bad with it. You go back to where you saw the piece of headgear and shield what you’re doing to the plush before spinning around with a smile on your face and presenting your masterpiece.

“Ta-daaa!~ It’s Skull now!”

You had tied a Skull bandana around the plush. Tasha shakes her head but you can tell there’s a smile under her bandanna, and Leo laughs at what you’ve done, but he’s quick to find a golf visor for his own plush. Once the gas mask and special forces beret have all been acquired and put on their individual plush, you guys make your way home to sort out all the stuff you bought.

Next part

Apr.29.21

[rubberduckyrye]

So, a friend of mine showed me a "Kokichi Defense" video that mentioned one of my metas a couple of times. And while I watched it mainly to see if they referenced me anywhere else (and just for the shits and giggles), it does remind me of my own theories regarding Kokichi... and how a part of me st ill feels like I never quite finished analyzing his character as shown on screen.

I wrote a LOT about certain aspects of him, about the things I saw in his character arc and story--but despite me not really knowing what else I could have added to the table, it still feels like I left things on a cliffhanger. Like there was more to dig but that I couldn't see, or got burnt out to the point everything was a bit of a blur.

However... There is one thing I do know I want to talk about, and it relates to my Mass Mercy kill Theory, and why I believe that Kokichi's actions towards the mercy killing were genuine. Something that I was thinking for a long minute about after I had watched the defense video. Not something related to Kokichi, but to my perspective on things, and why I came to the conclusion of his Mercy Killing plan being more genuine than others like to believe.

It's because... well, I know what it's like first hand.

I think I mentioned it on my original theory that I didn't want people to argue with me about the Mass Mercy Kill theory in general because of "personal reasons." Well, this is why--it's because I know what that despair is like personally.

When I lived with my parents, it was a horrible situation no matter where I went. Abuse left and right, degradation, dehumanization, helplessness, worthlessness, hopelessness--there was no "safe" place for me. Hell, I once considered it to be safer to be homeless than to live with my parents, and had to be talked out of it by my friend.

When faced with such a despair... suicidal thoughts are easy to come by. Yet I think this is why my perspective on Kokichi's actions in the 4th trial are different than most--because where I think a lot of people don't think about their motivations for their suicidal thoughts as deeply as "I was miserable/depressed", I took the time to analyze it extensively. I guess you can say the thoughts I had during those times were so terrifying that, as a coping mechanism, I wanted to know its source.

I wanted to know what made me think living wasn't worth while.

Self esteem issues are often a big culprit, but... my main source for these thoughts, they were just... a plea for release. The mercy of death. The hope of everything just, finally coming to an end--because suffering was pretty much all I knew, and thought I would only know.

Mercy killing was introduced to my life in the form of pets who grew old and had to be put down, so the concept to me wasn't anything new. I knew when my first dog died, because my parents didn't lie to me about it. They told me straight up they put her to sleep. I was probably like five or six when my first dog died.

So when I had these horrible thoughts, it was really easy for me to like, immediately know where the desire was. I was suffering, so thusly death must be my only answer.

It is, at its route, mercy. Even in its most fucked-up, twisted form of logic, it was still a desire for mercy.

I think that maybe that's why I think of Kokichi's actions in trial 4 to be a genuine attempt at a mass mercy kill plan. Because I saw myself in that situation, except in a situation that was far more miserable and far more dire. One where living would be truly meaningless.

From that perspective, everything made sense to me, because I already know that feeling well. It was easy to make the leap of "Mercy kill everyone before the find out the horrible truth" in logic because I knew where step one was.

I often have memory problems when I think about my time with my parents--the first twenty years of my life. My mind actively tries to forget how bad it truly was, just for a semblance of normalcy. Like, maybe it wasn't that bad, maybe I was the one in the wrong.

But... no. That's just the lie my mind tries to tell me when I can't remember the first 20 or so years of my life well.

But yeah, sorry for the downer of a post. I just kind of wanted to get my thoughts out on it before I forgot.

[tayfabe75]

It is clear that most of the songs were written before May 2023, but I am sure that after too. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived was obviously written after, so what's your take on it? This is the angriest she's ever been. Where does this lead us?

Anon, I'll preface this by admitting that I don't think any songs on TTPD are reflective of the past year (though, they have been cleverly disguised to appear as though they're about current events) - I personally believe they are songs about things from Taylor and Matty's past that she dared not share until now for a couple reasons: 1) They wanted to keep their relationship secret 2) She wouldn't dare "out" Matty for his drug use (it was not yet hers to share)

Meaning, I don't believe Taylor would make such direct references to drug use without Matty's blessing.

Now, I get that almost the entire internet would disagree with me on this, I'm well aware that fans are out there right now giving their "diagnoses" about how "unhinged" and "manic" Taylor is on this album…

I vehemently disagree.

I've been studying the woman the past year and I'm continually impressed by her character. Sure, she's aware she's on camera and knows how to turn on the charm. But too much consistent wisdom comes out of her mouth in a way that never falters and isn't easily fabricated or replicated. Also, I don't think that a lot of the public perception of her matches up with how she actually comports herself. For instance, I often hear that she's a "petty queen" for writing about her exes, yet she rarely ever confirms any of them as muses, herself - yet somehow, the fans run wild with speculation and parrot it back like it's written in stone when the actual foundation of some of these myths consists of one or two paparazzi photos. It has been one of the most fascinating aspects of studying this "story".

Of course, I do my fair share of speculating, too… however, I mostly do this based on their discographies or statements made in interviews, things they've actually said or written, etc, rather than fan lore.

Let me just lastly say that the collective take from the "tayfabe" crowd is that TSMWEL is about Kanye, Scott Borchetta, or Scooter.

But… as the resident clown of the group, the one thing I can offer you is maybe a different perspective, which is what you must want if you came here at all, right??

TSMWEL, in my opinion, has romantic undertones ("our bed", "it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden", "you'll slide into inboxes") that I doubt she would use for someone like Scott Borchetta. Aside from references to substance use, there's being "gone by the morning", themes we see in songs like 'Cardigan' and 'Question…?' and even in the music video for 'Me' by The 1975, and a reference to a car crash, something else that pops up thematically on The 1975's debut album - most of which seemed to also be reflective of an earlier time (and, lines like "slide into inboxes" and "hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins" seem only to bolster my suspicion that this song likely predates even 2014...)

"Where does this lead us?"

I guess that depends on your perception! Do you believe a person is able to repair or maintain a meaningful relationship with someone who once wronged them? Can someone write a heartfelt song about a betrayal that they've forgiven and moved past? Or must it always be perceived as "petty"? Can a song like this be purely reflective, or must it be fresh, scathing, or indicative of current feelings? We can safely extrapolate Matty didn't leave Taylor because he didn't care - he seems to have genuinely thought she was better off without him. If someone did that to you, would you maybe understand how anxiety lies to people and... ultimately forgive them? (As someone with a similar "cyclonic" anxiety... I'm genuinely curious!)

I personally believe that TTPD, like all of Taylor's albums, tells a story. Taylor does not sugar-coat things, and neither does Matty. And they're so beloved because they are willing to share their most vulnerable thoughts and feelings, right? If, indeed, TSMWEL is about our boy, well, I'm sure Matty also understands that "the good and bad end up in the song".

Now, read this quote again, but without all that pesky catastrophizing everyone seems to love doing:

"This period of the author's life is now over."

If, truly, this is a reflective album about the past (say, 2014), then maybe it means she wanted to document this period as part of her self-mythologizing confessional songwriting repertoire, but no longer dwells in the pain of it. It's probably just me, but as a fellow woman in her thirties, I just don't buy Taylor processing trauma this way! So publicly, I mean. She learned her lesson in 2016. And this album seems to be more about teaching lessons, herself, now…

But truly, your guess is as good as mine, anon. Thanks for the ask!

[skelethom]

Skelethom - Welcome!

About me (๑'ᴗ')ゞ

Hello everyone! I'm Skelethom (Thomas, Thom or even Tom! Or whatever nicknames you come up with! I love nicknames), i go by he/him. I was born on November 19! I'm a scorpio, and my home country (who i never left) is Brazil, my first language is Portuguese, but i learned english all by myself (that's why it's so bad Lol), i also know a tiny lil bit of Spanish, French and Italian (but not as much as english).

My illustrations are made on my Phone (that isn't very good) using my finger to do so, same with the lil animations i make, i joined the eddsworld fandom in 2014/2015, started fully posting on Amino and Musical.ly but moved to Instagram, Twitter (but i deleted my posts) and Musical.ly turned into TikTok and i kinda never left so yay!

I have accounts on multiple websites but my nickname is almost never the same, i try to put "Thom" somewhere in my name but sometimes it doesn't work so it goes to my bio.

And also through my posts i got the chance to meet a lovely girl who i have the pride to announce as my girlfriend (who sometimes i call a wife since she'll have to get used to it) @doktorspiele-be , you guys should check her art, just saying.

Interests ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)

I simply love miniatures, they're adorable! Any and all kind of tiny stuff, i love dolls specifically porcelain ones!

My favorite character from eddsworld is Tom, i love pringles, my favorite dessert is oreo ice cream sandwich and a breakfast i like to eat once in a while is grilled cheese with chocolate.

I think gastronomy is amazing even though i barely know how to cook.

I love skeleton guys like Sans from undertale, Lewis from mystery skulls, ghost rider, Grim reaper from the Grim adventures of billy and mandy.

Which also reminds me that another one of my favorite things is "Old" animation, basically 2000’s cartoons! Jhonny bravo, KND (Kids Next Door), Cow and Chicken, Invader Zim, Courage, Dexter’s laboratory and ETC.

I like emoticons, Roleplay and RPGʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ!

I also have an interest in Gore, Torture (both physical and mental) and virus/infections!

DON'T (•ˋ _ ˊ•)

I'll say both what i don't do and what i don't want anyone doing around here.

I don't do Matt related requests! (Unless it's someone's self insert, in that case i can CONSIDER MAYBE doing it).

I don't do criminal weirdo shit neither do i want you guys asking for this kind of Stuff, if you support or like it unfollow me and go to the nearest police department :3 (P3do, Zoo, Necro and ETC).

Don't want ANYONE to fight over shipps on this account, this is a safe place for everyone (except the previously mentioned weirdos) so no shaming over something so silly as who they think would make a cute couple!

DON'T shame headcanons! "Oh but this is so inaccurate cause in the ep [..] He said" i don't care, let people have fun, let me have fun, and you can have fun without fucking everyone elses experience.

I don't like Ellsworld so i don't do Requests (again it depends on Self insert so i MIGHT do it).

I do not like video with sudden loud noises and i do not like jumpscares.

DON'T LIKE AT ALL: the owl house, helluva boss, hazbin hotel, viviziepop, muder drones, ANY minecraft smp’s, eddsworld beyond and maggots.

THIS POST CAN BE EDITED AT ANY MOMENT! WAAAA

Σ(ﾟДﾟ；)

But by now this is it! Buh bye!

[and-a-pidgey-in-a-wepear-tree]

good [insert time of day here] i realised i never thought to ask you amid my delight of you being the most interactive follower i have that isnt an irl friend do YOU have ocs or blorbos. i wish to know. for reasons.

OH hello yes thank you for asking!!! I have several OCs but most of the time I simply Do Not Explain on here; I have lots of ideas and doodles but I make it mostly for myself and don't think to share — doesn't mean I don't want to tho! exhibit A: this absolutely massive post I'm about to make lmao. putting it under a read more bc Oh Boy, the floodgates have been opened

most of my OCs are for two different projects I have: The Visitors and my D&D Dark Star Campaign.

The Visitors is just a lil worldbuilding project I've been chewing on for.... oh wow, over a decade at this point??? I love all the OCs I have in there very very much, but they're definitely never intended to go in an actual story, I just enjoy the speculative biology and character / world building process.

Val is one of my oldest OCs, and she's changed SO MUCH over the years! nowadays, she's a sort of insect/dinosaur mashup alien who uses gravity warping magic and a very large axe to hunt demons. a huge issue for magic users of her species is keeping cool, as magic generates heat and can literally cook you from the inside out, so you'll notice the multiple vent-like spiracles across her body for this purpose. she was born blind and so relies heavily on her best friend, Django, to be her eyes and keep her safe. fortunately, Django has Too Many Eyes. he's a dragon genetically engineered by those in Val's species to be the perfect vessel for storing and releasing massive amounts of mirror-based magic. this kind of magic gives him many abilities, including seeing around corners, creating illusions, or multiplying attacks when applied in different ways, and he acts as Val's seeing-eye dragon. in battle, she likes to get up in the action while he holds back and gives her cues on what's happening, only jumping in himself if she's in major trouble. she's very friendly and excitable, and loves to get into the culture of whatever planet they're visiting, while he's more interested in observing and snooping. there's a lot of espionage and hijinks.

these are some of my most recent sketches of them, tho I'm sure the designs will changes in the future. specific colors don't matter at all, it's all about vibes! not pictured in the halfway colored one is Val's big iridescent black cape thing that has a slit down the middle for her rigid tail, nor her weird arms since I wanted to figure out where the torso vents could go.

Duke is another Visitor who visits planets and solves problems, but his path to get there was a whole lot different! I made him up as a coping mechanism when I was 12, and I'm still very fond of him.

he started life as a human video game speedrunner and modder prodigy. in a "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" situation, a devil (very distinct from demons!) struck a deal with him, challenging his gaming abilities with his soul as the stakes. he won despite the devil's cheating, but that's where the resemblance to the song ends. in this world, a devil winning your soul allows them to fuse with you and gain total control over your body, mind, and actions; but if YOU win, the control is reversed! and like any 14 year old who suddenly has the power to rival minor gods and a chaotic creature living in their head.... he goes off the rails for a while. Val and Django eventually find him and help him cope. his powers include electricity, glitching reality, flailing his glaive around, and being a menace to evil overlords.

you can't see it very well in this picture, but his eyes and the segments between his tail glow lime green! I'm not a fan of drawing clothes, but in my head he's relatively fashionable for a teenager and refuses to wear anything other than black. also, he decided to tell me he was trans a couple years ago, thanks for letting me know buddy 😂

my other project does actually get to see the light of day, if very slowly — I'm running a homebrew D&D campaign for my irl friends called the Dark Star Campaign! none of em use tumblr so WHEEEE I get to post all the spoilers I want! there's a kinda staggering amount of lore behind it and a ton of minor OCs, but the two I rotate in my head the most are Anya the Timekeeper and The Master, aka Armageddon.

Anya the Timekeeper is a chronomancy lich from an alternate universe! she used to help Armageddon travel the multiverse and gain power, but she's decided she's tired of being evil, and now hides in a mansion on a tropical island where she breeds dinosaurs for fun. though she's now very determined to help the party, they'll eventually have to kill her past self to prevent a paradox. her familiar is a little archaeopteryx named Trix who steals hats!

(I commissioned this art from @/goodlouse a while ago! highly recommend checking out his blog!!)

Armageddon is the BBEG and he's SO EVIL and SO MUCH FUN. he's an ancient amethyst dragon who, up until a while before the campaign's beginning, was steadily finding alternate universe versions of himself, killing them, and eating their souls to gain Unlimited Power™. unfortunately, his partner in time (hah) Anya told him to fuck off, so the quest for Unlimited Power™ has been kinda slow lately. fortunately, a D&D campaign started, and he cheated his way into existing at the players' table as The Master! my players can ask to talk to him sometimes, and I'll put on a mask of his head I made specifically for this purpose — very useful for not breaking character when the character is supposed to literally be the one sitting at the table talking to the players. I don't try to hide the fact that he's evil and they all know it, the fun is in giving them little hints and tidbits of lore to munch on. right now he's being very docile and helpful but things will get very very interesting eventually as more of his nature and plan is revealed..... =)

I'm still playing around with what he looks like as The Master, but I really like this recent design I did. his eye glows dark and menacing. I haven't found a design for his dragon form I'm really pleased with yet tho :/

okay wow thanks again for the ask, I have many many ideas in my head and it felt pretty nice to get em out!!

[amberjazmyn]

matthew gray gubler

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - already gone

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - character death, mentions of cancer, tears, loss of matthew's wife

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - for ages, matthew's wife, adrienna gubler had been extremely sick, going in and out of hospitals until she loses her physical battle after she had given up on her fight ages ago mentally.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i have recycled this so many times but this time it's about mgg! also, i take my trigger warnings seriously so only read if you can.

masterlist

- - -

remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories they're haunted. 

matthew and his wife, adrienna, had planned to do so much together after only being married for just over a year, fourteen months. they planned on renovating their house in las vegas, trying for kids, and hopefully having those kids, to continue living together, travelling when matthew wasn't busy on criminal minds or doing interviews, making silly youtube videos together, the absolute lot. they had planned so much but now, these memories were just haunted and won't ever be experienced together.

adrienna was sick, very sick, she had been in the hospital for the last couple of months due to intense chemotherapy, meaning she would be missing some of the filming days of criminal minds. and, it was utterly devastating for the newly married couple. adrienna was barely able to leave her hospital bed without feeling weak, dizzy or nauseous and as though she'd throw her guts up if she lifted a single finger or toe. it broke matthew's heart right down to his core, especially when he couldn't be with her in the hospital to keep her safe and make sure she wasn't scared when he was out of las vegas entirely or just in los angeles during criminal minds season.

we were always meant to say goodbye, even with our fists held high. 

adrienna and matthew both believed in the saying that, "everything happens for a reason." and, at first, of course, adrienna and matthew did not think that her cancer diagnosis was a blessing. they thought it was a mean, rude, cruel curse put upon them. however, throughout the process, slowly, adrienna started to go back to having a faith and she started praying to a god again. all of a sudden, the curse of her cancer went away and, it became a blessing in disguise. yes, sure, she never expected this was how she'd say goodbye to her husband but, she and matthew, no matter what was always meant to say goodbye to each other in some capacity. even with their fists held high in celebration of adrienna's strength, they were always meant to say goodbye to each other.

it never would have worked out right, we were never meant for do or die. 

although getting told that adrienna's treatment was no longer working was heartbreaking and terrifying, it just meant that adrienna and matthew's "till death do us part" vow was coming a little bit earlier than the other criminal minds couples was and it was okay, it was just needing some time to come to terms with and get used to. despite the fact that matthew struggled in comprehending that he was only going to have been married to his wife for not even a full year, never have kids with her and never have the fun experience of renovating their home together, it made him realise so much more and it allowed him to look at the bigger picture of the situation.

"--i'm so sorry mr gubler but, after going through some last-minute tests with adrienna in regards to her chemotherapy treatment for her cancer, it has been found that her body is no longer responding as well as we would have liked to the chemo and, we'll be taking her off the treatment per her own request. because of adrienna's awareness of the failure of the chemo's response to cancer in her blood cells, she was more than happy to start the refusal of all types of treatment. she's also requested that you don't try to fight with her against this as she's very adamant that if she knows that one type of treatment isn't going to work, she doesn't want to bother with any other sort, even if it has a high percentage rate of responding well..."matthew could barely let oxygen through his lungs as his wife's oncologist, dr callahan brings the young man the worst news he had ever heard since the original diagnosis 

"...do you know why exactly she's refusing all treatment revenues?" matthew felt his ears ringing as he asked that question, tears burning the back of his eyes as he was handed a tissue by dr callahan, the married man keeping it in his lap for a moment before his fingers absentmindedly played with it as it was then rolled into a ball 

"it's, unfortunately, private information due to doctor confidentiality, cannot be told by me. if adrienna does wish to tell you, that is most certainly okay, however, it is not my place due to the rules and requirements. i am very sorry matthew, i know you and adrienna were hoping for some better news as it really did look as though she was responding beautifully. if you two need anything else, please feel free to ring either me or doctor keating up. adrienna is in the patient room and all of her tests have been completed if you two wish to leave, goodbye matthew," dr callahan was a lovely man, he was a little bit older than matthew's father, john and was a brilliantly intelligent oncologist and one of the best ones out of what felt like the hundreds that the married couple had gone to all around las vegas so they didn't have to travel to a complete different country when it first came to mind that adrienna had fallen ill 

the moment dr callahan excused himself from his own office, allowing time for matthew to fully process and absorb the information the elder man had given him, matthew truly started to break down. he never thought of the day that he'd be told by his wife's oncologist that the chemotherapy wasn't working and that she'd no longer be receiving any other form, even if it was proved to have a good percentage of her survival because of her own refusal of wanting any more treatment. his eyes burned due to the tears that he had been fighting back the entire meeting with the doctor even though it wasn't the first time that matthew had dissolved into silent sobs or sometimes moderately loud ones during a meeting with the oncologist in regard to the progress in regards to his sick wife. just for one meeting, matthew didn't want to be clutching a tissue or the entire kleenex box in his lap as he cried to himself in the office but, once again, here he was, utterly inconsolable about the new news on his wife's health. 

the tissue caught every single tear that fell from matthew's eyes as he rested his right arm, his right hand holding the tissue, against the shockingly comfortable chair that sat in the middle of the gubler's oncologist's office, the door that opened into the said office behind matthew. it took an entire hour for matthew to stop crying and, due to adrienna having to take just a couple of smaller tests last minute like she did every check-up, she wasn't too fussed that her husband seemed to be taking an extra-long time with dr callahan. however, it wasn't until she looked up from her comfortable seat in the room in which all her tests were taken that for the past hour, matthew had been crying, all alone, in dr callahan's office. despite the fact that he had wiped all the tears away and gone into the bathroom to wash them away with water, adrienna could still see the red and puffy silhouette that his tears left on his face as evidence. it twisted her heart in all the ways that hurt the most as she realised that at the majority of her check-ups, matthew would end up in tears and crying all alone when she was getting her blood leeched out, when her pulse, blood sugar and blood pressure were constantly taken when she could have been consoling her very much distraught husband. 

i didn't want us to burn out, i didn't come here to hurt you now, i can't stop. 

for what felt like weeks, adrienna had been trying to tell matthew to stay in los angeles with his criminal minds cast because she knew that soon, she wasn't going to be alive much longer. she didn't want to hurt him, that was never her intention, no way when she first met matthew and the rest of their criminal minds family. however, because of how much he loved her and wanted to be sure she was safe, he refused to leave her bedside during filming and stayed with her all day, every day whilst the rest of the cast covered for him. 

"--matthew, sweetheart, i thought you said you were going back to los angeles?" adrienna whispered as she woke up, her voice groggy as she notices that matthew still hadn't left las vegas as he promised her he would 

he didn't answer adrienna, as if he knew she was right and that he should have listened to his wife but, he didn't. adrienna, obviously curious, asked him why he lied to her, matthew feeling extremely guilty that he lied to his wife. 

"matthew, come on bubs, why did you lie to me?" adrienna sat up as much as she could as he sighed heavily, he didn't answer because he had no answer to give her about why he lied

"i...i don't know, i just, i wanted you to rest and get some sleep so, i said that to you so you would go to sleep because i knew you weren't going to fall asleep until i told you that i'd book me a flight back to los angeles for work. i'm sorry..." matthew whispered as he plonked his head onto adrienna's leg as she pouted, her hand brushing through her husband's messy brown hair

"it's okay babe, but please love, go back to los angeles, i'm sure you can get your mum or even mine or even our sisters to come over and make sure that i'm okay if you are that paranoid. i promise you that i am okay, matthew, i'm just tired," adrienna convinced matthew as he rolled his eyes, hating that his wife always somehow convinced him to leave, grunting as he didn't want to leave his wife but, he trusted if anything were to go wrong, his parents, her parents or even their siblings or castmates would tell him 

"fine! but, i do trust that my sister laura and your sister alania look after you and if anything were to happen, they contact me and everyone else immediately!" matthew spoke with a more assertive tone (which honestly turned his wife on) as adrienna smiled triumphantly, nodding her head

"okay, that's a deal babe. now leave, you need to go back to los angeles, i'll be fine!" adrienna smiled as matthew nodded his head, giving his wife one last hug and kiss before leaving after his flight was successfully rescheduled 

i want you to know, that it doesn't matter, where we take this road, but someone's gotta go. 

as she sat with her sister and sister-in-law, alania and laura, adrienna smiled. to her, it didn't matter that she was going to die, for she had gotten over that fear ages ago. so, she knew that she didn't want matthew to go through any of the emotional pain of watching the love of his life slowly succumb to her illness so, she refused to have matthew be anywhere near her hospital room during her chemo treatments or transfusions. she knew that someone had to go and, that person was her and, she was more than okay with that. 

"ari, aren't you scared to die?" alania hesitated, the three girls all sitting down on the gubler's lounge room couch, grabbing a tight hold of her sister's clammy hand as she sighs, a small smile playing on her lips 

for context as to why she was no longer in hospital, it had been a couple of weeks since adrienna had made matthew go back to los angeles so he could rejoin his castmates on the set of criminal minds whilst alania and laura took care of adrienna. however, recently, adrienna had been discharged back home due to the fact that she was now on hospice care because she was coming closer to the end of her life. meaning that the hospital agreed in bringing her home to las vegas on hospice care as well as having her pass peacefully in a familial setting rather than the hospital room being the last thing she sees. 

"no, alania, not at all," adrienna smiled softly as she caressed her sister's hand, the two girls giving their sister a sad look back as they cuddled up closer together 

"how come?" laura questions next as the sick girl shrugs her shoulders with a small smile, the shrugging of shoulders movement being one of the many limited things that didn't cause the dying girl pain 

"i dunno laura, maybe because it was destined to happen. everything happens for a reason my love, and, this *adrienna referring to her situation of cancer* happened for a reason and, i'm blessed to have gone through it. even though i'm literally on the doorstep to my death, i couldn't have been any happier than how my life turned out i mean, i've lived my life, what more could i have lived for laura?" adrienna smiled as laura nodded her head, trying to hold her upset at bay over her sister-in-law 

"we're all gonna miss you, ari," the front door opened, revealing matthew and laura's dad, john, adrienna's father-in-law as he walked over to the couch, the father and daughter-in-law sharing soft smiles with one another 

"awe, john, i'm gonna miss you guys too but, i guess this is what was supposed to happen and, i couldn't have been any more grateful for the life i've lived," adrienna smiled, her voice soft and tender as music softly started to play from the radio that laura had turned on, the song playing immediately recognised as already gone by sleeping at last 

and i want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better, but i want you to move on, cause i'm already gone. 

hearing the lead singer of sleeping at last sing that specific line was nothing but excruciatingly painful. no one wanted to even think about moving on from the loss of adrienna but, none more so than matthew. he didn't want to move on, he was wanting to continue making his life with adrienna, have kids with her, get the renovations of their house done together so it was a home, and continue going on fun trips with the criminal minds cast together. all he wanted in his life was just to be with adrienna, no one else otherwise he wouldn't have gone to such lengths to show adrienna how much he loves and appreciates her if he was just going to simply move on. however, matthew knew that that wasn't ever going to happen and was having to lose the one girl he wanted his forever with to then maybe one day down the line, "replace" her with someone else and have someone else's kids. and, that hurt matthew more than any other pain in this world could hurt him. 

looking at you makes it harder, but i know you'll find another, that doesn't always want to make you cry. 

during the entire journey of adrienna's cancer, the amount of despair, tears and unknowingness that had been shed was way more intense than ever expected. especially by matthew since he didn't think that one day his wife felt ill it would turn out to be cancer. and normally, matthew was able to hold his tears back even though he has said he is an emotional person, however, it seemed as if seeing his wife in so much pain, no matter how well she had hidden it from him, it really seemed to knock down his wall of vulnerability. so, the number of times he would cry at the hospital, get emotional during a criminal minds scene, maybe even an interview because of how worried he was about his wife, to crying at home, to even crying on his own was such an intense amount, it seemed neverending. when adrienna came to light about this situation, she did not think it was fair at all that matthew was crying all of these tears and being so fearful. she believed that he should at least get a break because it seemed as if everything was converging and she hated it, she never wished to inflict such pain on her husband and extended family. adrienna firmly believed that matthew at least deserved a break from crying every single hospital consultation because that was all he could ever do when being told what was happening with regard to his wife.  

it started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in, perfect couldn't keep this love alive. 

it was true when it was found out that when adrienna and matthew had their first kiss at how perfect it was and how perfect their kisses, whether they were passionate, emotional, soft, slow, hard, quick etc. they were always perfect and they were always a meaningful thing for the married couple. meaning that, no matter how hard he tried, matthew couldn't ever convince adrienna that she was going to be fine and stay alive, despite the desperate makeout sessions he'd initiate as he'd cry and pour his heart and soul out to his wife in the hopes that all of those kisses were going to be mixed in with the exact nonexistent cure that could keep his wife alive for the rest of their living days. no words or actions spoken by matthew, however, could convince adrienna. she already knew and accepted that she was gone and that she had become peaceful with it because it no longer bothered her as much as it used to. meaning that, even if matthew hadn't, she had accepted it and that was all that mattered to her, even though it broke matthew immensely. she knew that his perfect kisses couldn't keep their love alive even though nothing else was wrong with it except for the fact that she was dying. 

you know that i love you so, i love you enough to let you go. 

adrienna smiled at her husband who had now arrived back home to las vegas alongside the rest of the criminal minds cast and their spouses, the song playing on the radio in the background 

"matthew, i love you so much my darling. i know you'll find someone who won't leave you the way i have. okay, you have to promise me that you'll move on. i love you so much, my sweet boy. i'm giving you permission to let me go now that i've let you go," she spoke softly, the song seeming too quiet as it filtered into everyone's minds as background music, matthew nodding his head hesitating at his wife's request, a small tear tracking his cheek 

"i love you too adrienna..." matthew sniffled softly, pressing his cheek against his wife's, making her smile, giving her husband a peck behind his ear as he sniffled a few times 

everyone else watching on with broken hearts as they only wished they also had the same healing powers that nicky wished he could have to save the love of his life. heartbroken as they watched their castmate and best friend go through the grief of having to become a widower so quickly after marrying the love of his life. of whom everyone thought they'd outlast every single person in the room because of how much they loved each other. 

i want you to know, that it doesn't matter, where we take this road, but someone's gotta go. 

it seemed as if adrienna's hospice care was stopped after she had suddenly fallen extremely ill, way too ill for anyone's liking, due to an infection in her bloodstream that absolutely mortified everyone. adrienna's oncologist, dr callahan however was taking the best care of her alongside the rest of his brilliant cancer team at the hospital as he handed her the medication. however, when adrienna took said medication, it was always a moment of subconscious fear and uncertainty as to the side effects that came with her prescribed medication really loved interfering with her and there wasn't always a 100% certainty that if she took a nap due to the fatigue, another side effect of the medication, that she would wake up from the nap and wake up without any complications. 

knocking lightly, dr callahan came into adrienna's hospital room to give the terminally ill girl her medication, "knock knock, here's your medication, mrs gubler-sorry, adrienna," it always made adrienna smile and giggle slightly whenever dr callahan would always try to be professional with her and call her by her last name and she then smiled as he corrected himself 

"thank you so much dr callahan and, please, stop worrying about what to call me. if mrs gubler slips out, let it slip out, it's fine," adrienna smiled sweetly as she gave a look towards her medication that had been placed next to her large glass of water 

"no worries and, thanks for the reminder and, also, after you've taken your meds, matthew could you and the group please come outside with me as i need to have a chat with you all? thanks so much, i'll just be outside waiting," dr callahan smiled, not wanting to let anyone worry as everyone, including adrienna, nods their heads 

"course we can doctor, is everything okay?" matthew responded, a tight smile forming on his lips as dr callahan just gave a faint look of uncertainty which for some reason gave matthew the heebie-jeebies and a very unsettling feeling 

"thanks, matthew," dr callahan smiled tightly as he then walked out of adrienna's hospital room to the hallway, finally able to catch his breath for this was the worst part of his job as an oncologist 

then, not even a couple of seconds after dr callahan left her room, adrienna took her medication and then a large gulp of water to help glide the medication down easier, placing it back on her side table, her husband gulping worriedly. matthew's sister laura quickly moved from the seat next to adrienna's bed so matthew could sit there, instantly grabbing a hold of his wife's paled, weak frail hand, caressing it carefully for a few moments 

matthew's pov

and i want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better, but i want you to move on, so i'm already gone, so i'm already gone.

finally, after a few moments of stalling after dr callahan had left, adrienna had finally taken her medication and was starting to relax as the side effects started to come over her. this meant that it was now time for me, my sister laura, her sister alania and the rest of the criminal minds family to go outside of adrienna's hospital room for our chat with dr callahan. and, in all honesty, we were all a little scared since usually, dr callahan only asks to talk with me whenever he has news about adrienna so, it only made my head spin. i was just so scared that my nightmare was going to come true; having to move on from losing adrienna and becoming a widower. 

"come on pretty boy, we have to speak with dr callahan. let ari sleep, i'm sure she's a little tired and she has to now relax from her meds," laura tried to get me to leave as i gave adrienna a small kiss before following after my sister, sister-in-law and criminal minds castmates whilst everyone else sat in the waiting room 

"okay, fine. i love you so much, adrienna," i whispered softly to my wife, sighing as i gave her a small kiss on the head and i then followed after the small group to meet with dr callahan to chat with him 

on our way over to dr callahan, it seemed as if he was becoming more and more nervous and was no longer finding it easy to hide it like he was usually a master at. and this when inadvertently made all of us nervous about what he suddenly needed to tell us. 

"is everything okay, doctor?" laura, my sister laura, questions with a haste breath as the small group all look in between each other before back at dr callahan as he gulps 

"that's the thing mrs dahl, we-we seriously think that adrienna isn't going to be well enough to last the rest of the day today. although she may look okay, the looks are truly deceiving and it seems as if all of her recent tests are plummeting. if you noticed, which you possibly did, possibly didn't, the medication i gave her was slightly different to her normal--" 

"--code blue, i repeat code blue room 799a!!" hearing that suddenly ring over the intercom is truly something you could never get used to - dr callahan perks up straight away however, his flight instinct kicks in within seconds 

that was when we realised the room number that was just called over the intercom, suddenly interrupting what dr callahan was explaining to us...

 ...room 799a... that's adrienna's room! no, no, no!

"i...i am so sorry guys but, i need to rush off but, stay in the waiting room and wait until i come back!" dr callahan then almost panics, ushering us into the waiting room where the rest of our "party" of visitors were waiting for us, thinking we had already been told the new information

"wha-what, dr callahan! aren't you gonna finish telling us about adrienna's medication?" i splutter out in a slight bought of disgust and fear, my dad pulling me back as i tried to get out of his grip which failed - not that i was disappointed or mad at my wife's oncologist, i just didn't know how else to physically respond in any other way 

"i'm so sorry matthew but, i seriously can't stay back. i really, really need to handle this emergency code. it's a code blue, i cannot have this patient dying! just please go into the waiting room and i'll speak to you later, i promise!" dr callahan called out, fear and so many other emotions i couldn't distinguish swimming in his eyes as he ran up the stairs that less than five minutes ago, not even, we just walked down as we watched chaos unfurl

within a second of just blinking every single medical professional that you could think of that works in a hospital was either running up those stairs behind dr callahan towards adrienna's room or was aggressively pressing the lift button to take the lift up to her room. 

"dr callahan, wait--" i tried to get him to explain to me more but, i was too late, he was way out of my sight now, no longer running up the stairs as i huff and step back, my dad's hand finding the small of my back 

it seemed as if straight away, my dad knew what was about to happen and that i was starting to panic because of the unknowing fact as to what was happening to my wife at this current moment in time. 

my breathing immediately started to get quicker, the panic quickly rising in my chest as dad tried to calm me down. he pulled me down the hallway, the last time i caught in my peripheral vision was my castmates going down the hallway a couple of doors down from where dad and i were. 

"ssh, matthew, it's okay! everything's going to be fine, okay? maybe it was a mistake and adrienna was moved into another room." dad, bless his heart, was trying to think up ways to try and make me calm down yet, i knew what he was doing and, although i'd love to say it was working, it really wasn't helping much 

"that...that isn't helping dad!" i sniffled into his shoulder as he huffed dejectedly, wondering what to do as i just muttered something to him 

"play the song," i muttered softly into my dad's shoulder before he made some distance between us, his eyebrow shooting up in confusion 

"what song?" he asked softly as i smiled instantly at the thought, already gone, although it was a sad, breakup song, it was like adrienna and i's song as it related to her cancer diagnosis and her eventual, oncoming death 

"already gone, adrienna played it on the radio a couple of weeks ago, please," i mutter softly, dad nods his head without hesitation before grabbing out his phone and finding the song as it started to play 

remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories are haunted. we were always meant to say goodbye.

as the song played from my dad's phone, i was pulled right back into his embrace as it sort of became background music, closing my eyes and placing my head to his chest, his steady heartbeat being the calming cure. the music continued to play as many memories of my wife and me ran through my head as my dad just hugged me as though i was a little boy all over again. 

i want you to know, that it doesn't matter where we take this road, but someone's gotta go. 

it was then decided between dad and me that we would sit down as we both felt our legs were going to collapse from underneath us any second. we smiled at each other before dad allowed me to plop my head on his shoulder as the song continued to run its length. more memories that i had remembered over the years with adrienna came flooding into my brain as well as dad's as he smiled a smile that was a smile that adrienna, his daughter-in-law only saw. 

and i want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better. 

i smiled softly at hearing the singer of the song sing that line because it was true. i couldn't have loved adrienna any better than i already had done and the same goes for everyone else that adored adrienna. there was no way in which we could have loved my wife even more or even better. i heard so many times during her stay in the hospital that they had never seen a cancer patient be so positive and loved during her time of cheo that that was one of the only things that stopped my tears alongside adrienna's comforting hugs, oh and the endless supply of kleenex tissue boxes and soppy movies that we watched when we lived in the hospital for the first few months. 

but i want you to move, so i'm already gone, i'm already gone. 

"dad..." i whispered as it had now been close to a couple of hours maybe since the code blue for adrienna's room had been called out and we still had no answers for what happened 

dad then turned his head from my castmates as we had all since come back to the waiting room now that me and my castmates were less panicked and less emotional. dad gave me a small, soft smile that was comforting as he then responded. 

"...yeah matthew, what's up son?" dad smiled, a small giggle leaving my mouth due to the "son" at the end of his response as we were all now equally worried about my wife and her condition 

"do you think that adrienna's okay?" i questioned softly, a worried expression painted on my face as dad huffed, his shoulders falling in a sad position as he bit his lip nervously 

"i truly don't know buddy. i wish i could say something else, we all do, but, i don't know and i am so sorry that i don't know," dad sighed with the saddest look i'd ever seen on his face as i just gulped and nodded my head slowly 

turning my head away to the empty hallway, i noticed who i recognised to be one of dr callahan's junior oncologists who worked with my wife, dr keating, he looked absolutely devastated and in distress. i decided i'd walk over to him to make sure everything was okay. using the chair to help me stand up, i kicked the pins and needles out of my legs and cracked my back before walking over. 

"guys, i'll be back, just wait there, i'm gonna have a chat with dr keating," i muttered as dad widened his eyes, also noticing dr keating as he looked over to laura and my castmates in concern but let me go 

"okay, be careful matthew," dad responded as i turned back around and started to walk, nodding my head in response to dad's response 

"i will," i whispered once i was out of hearing sight of the group as i softly tapped the junior oncologist on the shoulder as he looked up at me in a little bit of panic as i noticed his blue eyes were no longer blue, they looked as if he had just watched someone die

after tapping him on the shoulder, dr keating jumped at my touch but when his usually bright blue eyes looked into my blue eyes, i could tell something wasn't right. especially considering dr callahan was nowhere in sight. but even more so when dr keating grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, slightly scaring me before shortly after letting out a small cry as i felt my heart smash to the ground. the only patient that i knew that the other junior oncologists who were being mentored by dr callahan were working with was adrienna. i felt my lips and throat dry over, my biggest fear starting to settle in. 

"is...is everything okay, doctor keating?" i whispered softly, fearing the worst as dr keating sniffled, trying to speak as he pulled out of the hug 

"she's gone, matthew," he softly cried out as i felt my heart sink, the physical pain creating a burning, cracking sensation in my chest as i felt my eyes tear up 

"adrienna's dead?" i whisper, trying to confirm what i already knew was confirmed as i saw his head nod as i tried to hold back an ugly sob that was building up in my throat 

"uhh, yeah *sniffle* sorry... she-she was going in and out of consciousness before her body just gave up on itself. the medications dr callahan had given her earlier in the day were slightly different dosages and brands to her regular ones because finally, at the last minute, adrienna had agreed to try to see if it was the medications that were making her sicker so, dr callahan thought if he changed them that maybe she'd get better again. so, since the start of this week, dr callahan and the rest of us had been trialling this new medication with her in hopes that it would work but, it-it didn't *sniffle* i am so sorry matthew... we, we didn't think the medication would cause her to overdose..." dr keating was utterly devastated at losing adrienna which meant that dr callahan and the rest of the team were even more devastated as i clenched my jaw  

i couldn't do anything else but close my eyes and cover my face with my hand as dr keating didn't know how to comfort me anymore as i blinked back the tears to no avail as they quickly started to stream down my cheeks. 

"please...please don't apologise, dr keating, you guys and dr callahan didn't do anything wrong other than making my wife happier and comfortable whilst she was in the less comforting place you could ever be in," i cried out softly, sniffling a couple of times so my now runny nose wouldn't make a mess 

i then turned around to see my dad, my castmates aj, shemar, paget, thomas, joe and adam, their partners and me and my wife's families all together in the waiting room. they all looked so anxious and hopeful, just wondering what was going on in regard to adrienna and why they were still just waiting with no answers. 

"thanks, matthew, that-that really makes me feel better and would genuinely make the rest of the team feel better," dr keating whispers as we both wiped our tears as discreetly as we could 

"it's my pleasure, doctor, because it's truth, doctor callahan's team made all the difference for my wife and made sure she was always taken care of, especially when i wasn't here," i spoke softly, managing a small smile of gratitude as i then looked over to my dad and the rest of the group as they tried to calm alania, adrienna's older sister which just destroyed me even more and made me feel a certain pain that i'd never wish for anyone to feel

 how was i going to tell them? 

it seemed as if dr keating could read my mind however, "do you want me to tell them, matthew?" dr keating then asks, suddenly realising whom i was looking at, making me look back over to him as i furrowed my eyebrows 

"you sure, doctor? i-i can tell them if it's easier," i responded as my eyes grew bigger as doctor keating shook his head and ushered me with his head to follow me over to the waiting room where it was just the group for adrienna that was waiting in there

"no, matthew, i'll tell them, it is my job after all. i was adrienna's second oncologist, after doctor callahan, so, the least i could do is save you the trouble and a lot more tears if i say it over you," doctor keating smiled small, a travel-size pack of kleenex pulled out of the pocket of his scrubs, handing them over to me as i chuckle slightly as i take them from him, placing them in my jacket pocket knowing that it wouldn't take too long until they'll be of great use 

"thanks, umm, thanks again, doctor keating," i responded back with a small smile, one of my hands resting in the jacket pocket that had the pack of tissues whilst the other one rested comfortably and we then walked over to the awaiting group as they stood up with hopeful looks 

it goddamn almost killed me to see all of my best friends and my family look so hopeful in the news about my wife and, it was so hard not to break down. most especially when i caught eye contact with my sister-in-law, adrienna's sister, alania, her hopeful look killed me tenfold as i fought so hard at shaking my head no at her. i tried so hard but, the look, that alania showed me back gave me the impression that she already knew what doctor keating was going to say and i was pretty confident that, that also broke my heart even more. 

"is adrienna okay, doctor? do you have any news on her? is...is my sister alive?" alania then questioned, my heart breaking at hearing her begging for her sister to be alive as doctor keating and i looked at each other before we took in some deep breaths 

"alania, guys, there is no easier way of saying this to you all as i know how much you mean to adrienna and how much she means to you but as i've already told matthew; adrienna has passed away..." doctor keating spoke softly and with the same tone that he spoke to me in as a switch flipped in the group - their hopefulness now shattered as alania sobs and practically falls to the ground as i watched the way my sister followed her down to the ground and wrapped her arms around her and into a hug 

"and, the reason why she passed away was because of the new medication trial we had been giving adrienna since the start of this week in the hopes that it was her old medication that was making her sick and not cancer itself. the medication that doctor callahan tried to explain to you guys but wasn't able to. in a short summary, it was a trial medication that was of a different dosage to her old and original medication in the hopes it would help but, it wasn't the medication making her sick at all like we thought it was. so, basically, it wasn't cancer that caused the death but an accidental overdose of the trial medication that had been administered to her over an hour ago," doctor keating explained, his hands resting inside his nurse scrubs as i felt my heart break a second time if that was even logically possible, alania crying hysterically into my sister's shoulder as everyone else just looked as if they had disassociated so they could momentarily ignore the grief they were feeling - not something i ever want to see again because it was not my favourite sight at all 

"so, it...it didn't hurt her?" alania softly questions like a small child, managing to compose herself as i gulped, my hand reaching into my jacket pocket to grab a couple of tissues, one more me and one for alania 

alania should not have even had to of asked that question about her younger sister, whether or not it hurt for her to die. 

"no, it didn't hurt her at all, alania. it was the least painful death, she couldn't feel a single thing, it was as if she was falling asleep. you'll be able to visit her soon but, she just needs to be dealt with by our in-home coroner and then you'll be able to see her and say your goodbyes..." doctor keating speaks softly as he personally comforts each person, a hand on their shoulder and a handshake or hug, completely depending on what they chose as he spoke up again 

"once again, everyone, on behalf of me and the rest of doctor callahan's team, we are so terribly sorry and our condolences go out to you guys and everyone else that was personally affected by adrienna. but most especially to matthew, her husband and the rest of her family. i have to, unfortunately, go now as i have more patients of doctor callahan's to deal with but, i will see you guys later, i promise," doctor keating smiled and brought me in for a hug after grabbing my hand and squeezing it, bringing me a surge of comfort as within seconds, he was back down the halls of the hospital, off to doctor callahan's other patients 

this was when it all came tumbling down around me, finally smacking me in the face that i was about to say my final goodbye to my wife and she wasn't even going to be able to squeeze my hand or comfort me like she used to be able to do. bringing the tissue up to my face, i just cried and cried, my left arm wrapped around my waist whilst my right hand covered my face with the balled-up tissue. i absolutely hated crying in the hospital because it always happened but, now, it was the final time i was ever going to be in this hospital and i won't even be able to bring my wife out of there alive and that stung. 

almost immediately, dad pulled me in for a hug, "oh, buddy, i am so sorry, matthew," he was strong in his hug but absolutely weak in his words as he tried to soothe me but refused to let me go  

"she's gone, dad," i whimpered into his shoulder as my body wracked with sobs, making dad hug me even tighter as the group watched on 

it had then been decided that we wanted to leave the hospital, making doctor keating and doctor callahan aware that we were going to come in early tomorrow morning to farewell adrienna for, there was no way we were all emotionally inept to do it tonight. which allowed us a day in between to process everything and really allow the grieving process to begin for us all. they had both agreed in letting us do our farewells tomorrow and, now, i sat on the couch, tears streaming down my face still, as i became fidgety with my wedding ring, making the decision to make an instagram post of a few photos of my wife and me. not just because i knew it would bring me some comfort but because i knew that the criminal minds fans and just general fans of my wife and i, would also wish to know about my wife and what happened to her. 

remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories they're haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye

liked by alaniawalsh, shemarmoore, kirstenvangsness, thomasgibsonofficial, joemantenga and 985,21k others

gublergram whilst it absolutely breaks my heart to even write this caption and post it, it is with a heavy heart that i have to announce that my beautiful wife, adrienna gubler has sadly lost her battle with leukaemia and died in the late hours of tuesday the 5th of july at 8 pm in the nevada cancer centre of nevada general hospital in las vegas. adrienna was the absolute love and light of my life, she truly made me the happiest man i could have ever been. adrienna never ever failed to make me laugh and make me feel like i was the only person on the planet. i was always the centre of the universe and so was everyone else that my wife loved and adored. whilst it does hurt my heart to even think about it, the filming for the new season of criminal minds will be postponed for at least another month, so we al apologise for any inconvenience this has caused. adrienna has always said since the start of her cancer diagnosis that if she was ever to die due to cancer or because of her medication that she would rather the show be postponed by at least a month than for me and the cast and crew to work whilst grieving her loss. and that wish of hers has been granted and as i write this post, the cast and our crew are having to sort out all the public announcements in regard to our reasoning for the postponement of the filming. 

adrienna may have only been my wife for a year and two months but they were the best fourteen months of my entire life. she truly didn't care if she was only my wife for a week or forever, as long as we were able to have our wedding with her breathing properly and well enough to the point where she didn't need any help from breathing tubes or having to be wheeled everywhere in a wheelchair, she was happy with the way we got married. and, our wedding day is a day i'll never be able to forget even if i tried. i had never seen adrienna look so happy and relaxed until the day of our wedding. she just looked like an absolute angel and just writing this is bringing tears to my eyes because i know that whilst she is no longer here, she is still my wife and, i'm always going to love her, even if i do end up dating, proposing to, marrying and then have their kids with, i'm always going to talk about the first girl that i ever loved because she showed me what it was like to love because she is the definition of love. whilst my heart does hurt right now and will probably hurt for a while, i know i'll eventually be able to wake up every day and smile. but for now, i'll cry and i'll be sad and that's also okay.

i love you forever and always, adrienna gubler. i'll never forget you because you were simply unforgettable and the true girl of my dreams, sleep tightly my angel.  

view all 893k comments

alaniawalsh adrienna absolutely loved you so much matthew and this was a beautiful tribute to her. i hope you never stop posting about her, even when you find the new love of your life, love you goob 🤍

gublergram alaniawalsh thank you, alania and i hope i don't stop posting or talking about her either, she truly was the one for me, even if i do find someone new. i love you too alania 🤍

shemarmoore love you pretty boy. anything you need, i got it, as do the entire criminal minds family. adrienna loved you so much and she'd do anything for you! my heart aches for you 🤍

gublergram shemarmoore i love you too shemar and thank you, my heart aches as well 🤍

kirstenvangsness reading this makes my heart ache for you matthew. adrienna will never be forgotten and never forget how much she absolutely loved you and doted over you every single day 

gublergram kirstenvangsness writing this made my heart ache. and i know she won't be forgotten and i know i'll never ever forget how much she loved me because she made sure to remind me all the time 

thomasgibsonofficial i'm heartbroken for you, matthew. we are all here to support you. we loved you both so much so anything you need, we'll take care of it because if anything, the only thing that's important right now is taking this month off from our filming schedule to grieve your wife so, fuck the show right now, don't even worry about it. i love you forever, matthew! 

gublergram thomasgibsonofficial i am heartbroken as well thomas. and thank you so much, this means so much to hear and i love you too, thomas! 

joemantenga she'll never be forgotten, matthew. adrienna was perfect and she was so loved by every single person that encountered her. 

gublergram joemantenga i know she won't joe. and she was perfect and so very loved 

username oh, matthew, i am so sorry my love! my heart breaks for you with this news, adrienna was an absolute angel. sending my love to the entire family 🤍

gublergram username thank you love, and my heart breaks having to even make this post and read all these comments even though they are so healing at the same time 🤍

pagetpagetgram adrienna will never be forgotten, matthew and i promise you that, as does everyone else that knew her and loved her every single day! 

gublergram pagetpagetgram no, she won't be forgotten paget! i'll never let her be forgotten and i don't think you guys would allow me to forget her either! 

liked by gublergram, pagetpagetgram, thomasgibsonofficial, ajcook, aishataylor and 82,34k others

alaniawalsh i can't even believe i'm writing this but i have to and it breaks my soul into pieces. as you all would have seen from my lovely brother-in-law's post, my sister adrienna gubler died from a medical overdose of chemo medication at the nevada cancer centre in the late hours of tuesday the 5th of july at 8 pm. and not at all in this post am i bashing my sister's oncologists or the hospital, it was not their fault at all as to why my younger sister overdosed and i will not tolerate any comments that may suggest that that is what happened because that is anything but what happened. my sister died because she willingly decided, like she put her own hand up, last minute to give a medical trial one last try and see if it was her old medication that was making her even more ill than she already was and was on a new medication this last week which unfortunately is the reason why she passed away, not because of medical negligence or anything of that sort. 

my little sister, adrienna amelia rose walsh gubler was a beautiful girl. she was always a happy, fun, crazy little girl that always wanted to make other people smile and be happy like she was. she was fifteen when she met her future husband, matthew gray gubler and ever since that first meeting, had been inseparable so, that's why it's even more heartbreaking that they were only given the chance to be married for fourteen months, only a year and two months. my heart absolutely breaks for you, matthew, that you had to lose your beautiful, angelic wife so early in your guys' marriage. it's absolutely not fair and i only wish it didn't happen. but if you do choose, later down the line or whenever you feel it's right to do so, fall in love with somebody new, just know that it's absolutely fine! you deserve to be happy and fall in love again, and there are no rules on how quickly or slowly how you do that. you are still so young that i promise you, one day, you'll find another beautiful girl and you'll fall in love all over again like you did with my sister. 

and i hope you know matthew, that you are still a part of the walsh family, even though your wife and our sister and daughter are no longer alive with us anymore. you will always be my brother and you will always be my parents' son and that will not change, not even when you fall in love again. i will adore you until the end of time matthew and i know my parents share the same sentiment and if there is ever a time you need us, we are always a phone call or a message away. we love you goober 🤍

all of these photos that you see in this post are all of the best moments of adrienna. and yes, even the photo of my sister in the hospital is the best moment of her and this is why. even though the photo may not look it, throughout all of her chemo treatments and transfusions and other things, adrienna never failed to have a smile on her face and have a little dance and that was even if she was very sick or tired, she always managed to be happy and still feel blessed that she was still alive and well enough to get those treatments and transfusions. but, i do have to say that whenever adrienna and matthew were together, that was when they were both the happiest and the most alive. when they were together, it was like royalty had entered the room, that's how it was like when adrienna and matthew were together. i love you so much adrienna amelia rose walsh gubler, they'll never be an adrienna gubler like you ever again. rest easy my sweet angel 🤍

view all 76k comments

gublergram bawling my eyes out reading this alania. this was so sweet of you! this means the world to me and more! these photos really do show the best moments of adrienna. love you more alania 🤍

alaniawalsh gublergram i was bawling my eyes out writing it! and of course matthew, nothing will take you out of our family, especially not another girl. and i really do love those specific photos so that was why i chose them 🤍

pagetpagetgram oh, alania, this was a gorgeous post to your sister! just like you did her, she talked about you all the time 🤍

alaniawalsh pagetpagetgram thank you paget and i know, there were a few times that i overheard her talking about me and it warmed my heart every time 🤍

thomasgibsonofficial adrienna was always so beautiful and these photos truly show that beauty. love you so much alania 🤍

alaniawalsh thomasgibsonofficial she really was thomas, she was the definition of beauty and these photos really do show them. love you too thomas 🤍

ajcook your sister loved you so much alania. and your loving words to matthew are tearjerking and i know just how much it means to him reading that! 

alaniawalsh ajcook i know she did, aj, she loved you guys as well! and thank you, i just want him to know and to never forget that he still has us as a family no matter what because he always will 🤍

aishataylor my heart breaks at reading this alania! your sister was gorgeous and she still looked beautiful when getting her chemotherapy and she truly loved you and matthew so much. sending all my love to you and your family 🤍

alaniawalsh aishataylor  thank you for the words aisha and she did love us a lot, she had so much love in her 🤍

username i'm sobbing reading this and matthew's post. adrienna was truly one of a kind and was such a beautiful girl. and she truly does look beautiful when she's in hospital and that blows my mind. and it makes me so happy to hear that matthew's still a part of your family 🤍

alaniawalsh username i was the same reading matthew's as well love and writing my own didn't help me either and she was one of a kind. and matthew was always going to be a part of our family, even if it did come to the unfortunate possibility of adrienna's premature death and the possibility of him finding someone else because we've known matthew since he and adrienna were fifteen so there is no way we'd close our door on him after so many years 🤍

criminalminds we all love you so much alania. just like matthew is a part of your family, you are a part of our family. anything you need, we will give it to you 🤍

alaniawalsh criminalminds love you more criminal minds and thank you so much, that means a lot and i know you guys aren't just saying that too 🤍

- - - 

phew, this was a lot! and yes, i did have alania, adrienna's sister, reply to the official criminal minds insta account, don't @ me, it's hilarious!

ok ily bye xx

wc; 10227

[ohsoulymoons]

https://www.tumblr.com/fnafandduncneyontop/753547928479645696/sorry-gwen-fans-again

EVERYONE WHO LIKES COURTNEY BEATING GWEN IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH! THIS GIRL NEEDS TO DIE FOR MAKING SUCH ANTI-GWEN VIDEOS!

Dude... I am crying at the moment please stop.

I am having hard time right now.

Do I want Gwen and Courtney fighting for a man?! NO

Do I need to declare death on others I don't agree with no. (I don't like people want kill each other over their favorite characters or ships in general)

I believe Gwen and Courtney could been something else.

But like bro. I am really sad right now and I don't know how to explain it.

If I had my way, I would make Gwen and Courtney does not fight it out but cry it out.

Like uh?

Gwen and Courtney friendship would been amazing.

Also man.... Why are you assuming one is a PSYCHOPATH.

Look I am not in good shape or place at the moment... I have made Gwen break Courtney's jaw in one my fanfics once.

I have had Courtney fight with Gwen they using fists and kicks because sometimes when you are teenager to young adult you weren't taught emotional "control" or overwhelmed sometimes people duke it out.

End of the day it suxks sucksss... seeing fans trying tear themselves apart Gwen vs Courtney.

I love Gwen and Courtney.

It sucks ass bro what they did to Gwen and her safe friendship with Duncan too.

I adored Gwen and Duncan friendship.

I am not Gwen and Duncan shipper especially how they fucking did it.

If I made the show, they would been 1st couple then turned friendship then slow burn of Duncan and Courtney.

But I am not the creator or whatever war we paint on Courtney and Gwen!

Gwen reminds of my cousin; I love my cousin so much but I know Gwen isn't her. But I do put some my cousin like things into Gwen when I write about her. As well as Ella. My cousin is mixture of Gwen and Ella I believe that's beautiful

Like everyone else assumes my cousin can't do shit on her own because she's skinny and shorter than me. But I know she can kick ass, more threatening than me, and gets shit done.

I am her Courtney because sometimes someone has to be the bigger bitch, yelling and screaming in someone's face when they try hurt her, and I would fight for my cousin if she's in a dangerous situation.

I am sad today.

I am very sad I miss my Gwen/Ella but I am just Courtney and I don't get what I want in life- yes maybe it's my period talking but life sucks sometimes and I want to cry my heart out. okay?

I am crying and my tummy hurts so bad.

I can't call my own little Gwen/Ella cousin because it hurts so bad and I don't want her to worry about me again.

So I am gonna cry and probably leave for a bit to get me out this pity party.

Like geez I don't know man, if I can live with my cousin being a Gwen fan and Gwuncan fan with both of us agreeing we think Duncan sucks ass he should have never kissed Gwen like that. Gwen deserved a better love story along with Courtney mostly from dumbass Duncan... but at last we both know they were teenagers that don't know better at times and just cartoons.... then that's adult understanding and love between cousins and best friends one can have.

We- and I don't dislike Duncan but we hate what they have done to all them of them mostly all their endings even with Scott.

I love country boys and I thought this would be a GOOD thing for Courtney move on with Scott.

But no.

So I am sad.

I am emotionally not happy and my period making cry 24/7

I am so lame because maybe I love Gwen differently than you and other fans do.

That's my cousin's favorite character ever in the past we fought never in fist fights but at times she had pull me down or snapped at me WITH HER FINGERS LIKE BAD DOG TO NOT HURT OTHERS AS A TEENAGERS.

Maybe I don't want people to say shit things to each other too.

Man I don't fucking know.

Gwen doesn't fucking suck and even if she do I am swallow that shit up bro. I kinda like her and even she does wrong, flaws, and a little awkward I am gonna be like okay cool?

What you think I always write about that shitty love triangle 10 million ways... it's because Gwen and Courtney fucking loved.

They just loved.

They were teens and dumb as fuck and maybe it been cool if Gwen and Courtney used that shit against Duncan that season worked together to enter final 3 together with Heather or something...

Then at the merge with Duncan they voted him out together been like oh Gwen told me you kissed her and Gwen I made this plan to get back together as friends in arms and if one of us win we are going to share it make you regret using both us for your own pleasure of two girls trying to destroy each other to take each other out the game.

In my essay Duncan was stupid... and smart making two girls taking themselves out the game while he "try to make Courtney not go after Gwen after what happened" and " Courtney will total take Gwen out if needed to"

Duncan sat back and watch them tear themselves apart for his own amusement and made the merge like always...

He magically always on top.

He also copies what he sees what Courtney did with Justin he did with Gwen but way worse in my opinion.

Gwen deserve a better love story and so did Courteny as well as Duncan, but nah.... we keep using them as puppets them to do the same mistakes as their creators.

Now that's total drama about.

Trashy reality TV poking fun at EVRYONE AND ANYONE THEY SAY BUT WITH CARTOONS.

This wasn't Chris McLean

But I am in hellhole that loves this show... stay tune for more folks after I fuck off for awhile because I am in a bummer man.

I really wish I could BE LIKE BRODY BRO... SO BAD BUT I DON'T WANT NO DAMN COP TO DATE OR MARRY FUCK THAT NOISE!

I WANT BE BRODY SO BAD... NO THOUGHTS JUST JOY

[eradicatetehnormal]

My Zoomer Ass Watched Pink Flamingos For the First Time

So, I think? I enjoyed that. My taste in media is what most would consider garbage, but relatively safe garbage. Stuff that's garbage in the sense that it's poorly written or executed, not in the sense that it's genuinely filthy. I mean, 90% of my blog is dedicated to a video game series with anime and Disney characters, so yeah, I was really out of my element here.

So first off, I really like the way the movie characterizes Divine in the beginning. The standout scene for me was her putting raw meat between her legs. I didn't get it at first, but I read an interpretation of that scene where the writer said that Divine is meant to be, well, filthy. She shits on femininity and leaks nasty body fluids. She would always prefer to have flesh touching her, even if it's raw meat. That's genius characterization, imo.

The central plot of the movie is very entertaining, as well. I love the concept of two rivals duking it out to see who's the worst. We get some great moments out of it like Divine receiving a box of shit or her and her crew killing and eating those officers.

The main reason this movie has been on my mind is because a Youtube channel I'm starting to fancy, Anthony Gramuglia, recently made a video about how we need more bad queer representation, a sentiment I agree with. I'll always have more of an interest queer content that isn't about two, skinny, white boys from upper-middle-class neighborhoods talking about the pressures of being in the closet *bleh!* I'm just sick of seeing that shit hyped up.

But it was interesting. This film was one of the main examples of how unsanitized and offensive queer media used to be. That it wasn't as concerned with making queer people look good. Don't get me wrong, the character of Divine is anything but inoffensive, at the same time though, I feel like this movie makes her out to be the lesser of two evils. I mean, yeah Divine is gross, blowing her son, shitting in public, and cannibalizing people? That's pretty nasty, but she never reaches the heights of people who run a sex trafficking ring and flash themselves in public consistently ('cause I mean like, you gotta clean up the police bodies somehow, you can't have that stinking up your property. Also, that was arguably self-defense, the people at the party weren't really doing anything wrong.). She even does something somewhat heroic by letting the two women locked in the couple's basement free and get revenge on their rapist. I thought she was going to kill the two afterward.

Maybe that's the point, though. That there's a difference between being filthy and being evil. Also, Divine's revenge was just way better. Burning down a trailer and your ops aren't even inside? Cowardly.

This was an interesting watch. I can't go into detail about how much of a landmark this was on queer cinema and cinema in general. I just know that it was. On a scale of personal enjoyment, I'd give this a 7/10. And yeah, kill everyone now, condone first-degree murder, advocate cannibalism, eat shit. My final message. Goodbye.