#I WANT HIM TO BE OBSESSED WITH MY PUSSY……. sorry…I’m fighting my demons

[fcthots]

i feel like jason would be the type to fall HARD for their partner. and like it would come out a lot during sex, this man would be soooo sweet omgg compliments, touching everywhere and basically worshiping their partner

No bc when he meets you, he is YOURS. Like you know that line from the Barbie movie that’s like “Barbie has a good day everyday. Ken only had a good day when Barbie looks at him”? Yeah. Anyway,

He can’t decide where he wants his hands. They start off holding your face while he kisses you, then they travel to your tits, then they’re at your waist, and then they travel to your thighs while he eats you out. He wants to hold your hands though, so he temporarily removes his face from between your thighs and he grabs one of your hands (the other supports his weight) while he uses his tongue on your nipples. You bury your hand in his hair and doesn’t that just drive Jason crazy.

Skin to skin contact drives him wild. He ends up moving up and leaving even more to leave hickeys on your neck. But he just can’t help himself, he ends up coming while humping you.

Oh, don’t worry though, he’ll make sure you come on his tongue when he’s done marking your neck.

[bemylord]

being their girlfriend/dating them

or they're as your boyfriend

character: sukuna, itadori, nanami, satoru, megumi.

warnings: fluff to smut hdc, curse words, kinda rough and soft boys + sukuna.

note: or they're as your boyfriend/dating them

ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ

i don't think he'd call it relationship or love. just the bond that binding you're together. he also doesn't talkative a lot, he prefers to show you his feelings in actions.

as long as itadori is searching fingers, you'll exist in his domain, being the slave and queen in one time. he'd praising and teach you new techniques, but also may use your body as he wants it.

praising to the degradation - generally, nothing new. if you had been bad either you did something on purpose, there will be no mercy for your body and throat - the king knows the way to punish you.

the cute thing is when you are exhausted from the little practice sukuna does in his small domain: breath had been taken away and your body is sweating. all you want is a little break to catch your breath. despite his selfish and demolished nature, he gives you some time in his lap to debilitate your sluggish body. your arms are wrapping around sukuna's neck by accident - it may seem he doesn't give a damn about it, but he pulls you by the waist, put your head on his athletic chest, and have you in arms 'till you'll wake up.

'you are too weak, brat, more energy, put more fury on me, or did you forgotten that i'm the fucking king of this world?' he laughed, knocking off your attacks. he's got a god complex and perfection. 'i'm getting stronger each second, sukuna, don't make yourself as a god'

you are the one he lets talk like that. being tremendously gentle with you is hard for him - he still being rough and could inflict damage, although, after pain, the king will take affection aftercare. but don't think he would murmur some sweat stuff in your ears, just spooning you is enough.

ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ ɢᴏᴊᴏ

master of the aftercare. sensei of the smooch and teacher of how to cuddle a person. he's good at those things. you never complain of how warm and strong satoru's arms wrapping your waist and his lips are kissing the back of your neck. after rough sex gojo would make an apology with soft kisses all over your figure.

cute fights in the kitchen while cooking. satoru is very needy and sometimes, he could be clingy for your attention, trying to get it whenever he wants to feel your body. even fight doesn't stop him - gojo would fight back and hitting on you.

show everyone that you're taken by him by marks he left on your soft skin last night. satoru would give you an order to dressing a shirt which will show his label on your body - wanna get a punishment? disobey the order; sure, later, you will regret it. however, it will be somewhere in the future, so you do mind disobey him?

whisper on his ear how long you've been craving for his fat dick in your dripping pussy and satoru would stop everything he did later, just to bury his cock deep into you, feeling the outlining of his member in your stomach. it's driving him insane when his fat dick rearranging your insides. no words could describe emotions in his soul when you're scratching his back whilst satoru is doing the pulsative movements inside you. 'does it feel good, kitten, doesn't it? feeling my cock in your little tummy, my god.. put your hand on the lower abs to perceive it' 'satoru~, i-i won't take any longer, give me that~' how could he disobey the order of his little angel?

gojo would degrade you only you've got the bad attitude. at other times - you may hear as he repeats the words 'you're so fucking amazing, kitten' he's hazing at the throbbing feeling in his cock you've been giving him.

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴊɪ

he's so much loves to play games and dancing with you when he has the time to do that - you'll play all games he bought for those evenings when both of you are playing fools and being kids. he may act like a kid around you, but trust me, he isn't good while railing you.

there's no door named exit while he's eating your out. yuji will apologize for not being close when you want to cuddle him or smack your lips against his. his apologies are mostly his head between your legs and his fingers in your cunt, stretching your walls, preparing you for the night. he makes sure you're enough dripping for his throbbing cock. it gives me a vibe that he'll overstimulated your little clit only with his tongue.

having you in missionary position, leaving the half-moon on your hips, unquenchably fucking your overdose cunt filled up with your juices. but you know itadori adores when you're squirting on his dick, shuddering while giving the huge release. 'that's right, beautiful, give your daddy all juices you've got' his words make you squirt one more time when he's finishing on your chest. quick series of spanking on your cunt and you're melting definitively by him.

but most of the time, you're both doing silly stuff that bothering megumi a lot. actually, you've got a game 'who's bothered megumi first'. it's fun to watch how he's activating shikigami dogs. you're idiots, although happy idiots.

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ

daddy issues. daddy vibes and daddy chill. you've got no choice but to obey every order he told you to do. no way to escape and no way not being fucked to him if you did have time to do his tasks. his big and strong hands pulling your hair back, so you arch your back, feeling his breath in your ear. scream as loud as you can, 'till you reach the high note you could - he won't stop it.

sweat aftercare in the shower where nanami is washing your hair for you, also massaging your shoulders and kissing your stomach sort of excuses for being too extremely rough with you. but you knew he won't be soft, the language of his sex life is rough and painful. but the aftercare is worth having bruises the next morning around your neck.

nanami is an obsessive and dominant lover, he would mark you as his baby girl, his property, and the woman he's seeing his future with. even if you've got powerful and strong abilities nanami still doesn't allow you to battle the curse. think whatever you want to - he doesn't like the thought of having your dead body in his arms. he doesn't like the thought his small girl would have injuries from the demon.

nanami will show his love in action rather than words. you've got an unspoken rule to kiss your partner when they're tired of the work or giving a good morning/goodnight kiss. even if you're sleeping, nanami kisses your forehead before going to work. nothing could stop him from the morning kiss. you baked warm goods before he returns from the office or battle tired and having no strength. he fucking loves your baked bun.

after work, you make a warm bath for him, where he can loosen his body, burying his face in your hair. 'sweetie, i love you so much, so-so-so much. with you i can enervate myself and get lost in your smell, wrapping arms around your waist, feeling like it's my private heaven'

ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ

i've got a feeling he'd be an overprotective boyfriend. doesn't leave you alone with itadori for the reason he's a vessel for sukuna - don't treat him weird, he trusts itadori, but not sukuna. doesn't like when you interrupting his battle using your abilities because it's making him think about implications.

doesn't show his affection among other students because doesn't like being called a clingy or needy puppy. nevertheless, pulling you closer by your waist to show everyone to fuck away from you. megumi would not hesitate to kiss you with a tongue in front of the students to show them you're taken and your man is crazy.

megumi is more like a homeboy. every time you're alone or having time to spend together, you'll be stuck in his arms 'till you both need to go back to the sorcerer-life. cuddling and smooching are his life - in the bathroom, while you're cooking, watching tv-shows, he's arms around your body, therefore megumi is telling sweet nothings in your ear.

sex life with megumi? complicated question. would be bad and good simultaneously. i still have a thought he'd tied you up and use a flogger on your booty for spanking and preparing your pussy for his dick - it was passed on by his genes [wtf his father omg]. makes you squirt a couple of times, also makes you beg for his fat cock before pull it inside unexpectedly. using a collar with a chain to arch your back 'till it crunches and you moaned because megumi literally choking you.

only god knows how much megumi has kinks for you. how much energy he has to rail you all night and be able to continue that after the sun is illumining the room. 'you're dirty little slut, the rays of the sun in our room, and you still have the energy to squirt' degrading you during coitus and praising you in his muscular arms after.

//~~//

fuck. i was planning to post kuroo x reader x kenma but i deleted my work [by fucking accident i hate myself] that i had been writing since morning. sooo, I'll post it tomorrow. so sorry for the grammar mistake i was writing it on my phone.

[pate-de-rolo]

Castlevania season 3 episode 9 notes

-spoilers!! Also tw for SA in this ep? Idk 16 minutes in Alucard looks very uncomfortable during a seggs scene and I found it kind of triggering.

-Hector eats pussy. A king

-Issac is so badass??

- The Judge can fight!?

- Saint Germain is a bit of a bitch

- Trevor likes cats

- Alucard is not straight or at least very lonely. Probably both.

- Lenore came across lacy underwear in the 1400s, and that’s what I’m most impressed about

-Lenore’s bra is stupid and her shoes and socks match her underwear, maybe it was an impending apocalypse sale? A bogo perhaps?

- the ball of magic slaves is new???

- alucard why are you crying it’s killing the vibe

- sypha is so overpowered I’m obsessed with her

- alucard looks so uncomfy oh I hate it.

- sumi and taka look like they rolled in oil, ew.

-who’s hands are where?! No one knows and I’d hate to find out!

-if anything at least Hector and Lenore have a good time

- taka eats ass you can’t change my mind

- the parallel of Lenore seemingly having all the power and Alucard having no power, both of them in the same position… I’m sure this would mean something if I paid attention in English class

- I imagined taka as slim/like lean muscle toned? Idk I just don’t think he should be built like a brick shithouse.

- I’m still mentally like 3 episodes back where Hector has grey pubes. I think it’s from stress.

- the crowns of thorns were a really great idea esp with Issac cutting it away with his forge knife!

- if it was up to me Issac would have ascended-god status. Like not quiet a full god but just about

- killing the slaves really was a mercy. Like, I’m getting ‘thank you’ and ‘a pain expression mixed with a relief’ vibes

- really not loving that “hey let’s have seggs with someone to get them on my side” thing Lenore has got going on.

- oh Hector and Alucard. I’m so sorry.

- hectors scream :(

- alucards expression when sumi and taka are standing over him is just so sad :(

- “what the fuck is that?” Asked the priest, as though he did not just tear open the raw asshole of Hell with a fucking demon they crucified and let rot in their cellar

- I love the naked lady decor Hell has going on. Really sets the “I’ve missed my wife who was burned alive because I couldn’t protect her” vibe.

- i don’t even consider Dracula a villain at this point. Just an old man that wanted to die. He’s probably pretty happy just chilling in hell with his wife and their naked lady statues

[raivaryn]

The Ricks of s3e6

I took Rick notes. Morty notes can be found here.

Toxic Rick 

1st thing after gaining consciousness, he cries out for Morty and hurries to his rescue

Assumes the worst of the spa hand, blaming him for retaliation

Sense of ownership over Morty

Nothing is worth his time due to his overwhelming genius

He really does seem overwhelmed by it.. Imprisoned by it?

Rages as he does science, intense and urgent need for immediate and absolute control

Morty is weak and so inferior that he is undeserving of attachment

Equates genius to godhood, genius is everything

Immortality and God-complex, “If God exists, it’s fucking ME!” Might actually be undercut by a cry for help—this is his fate.

Conflicted by his godhood, and the pointlessness of it—he has nothing to prove to anyone, everyone is beneath him.

And that seems to trigger his realization of his Toxicity..

Seeks validation from Morty regardless, “Think anyone but me could do that?!”

Vengeful

Believes he’s the part of “Pussy Rick” that “keeps it real”—Real being pessimism, cruelty, suffering

Constantly indignant.

Calls Healthy Morty a “sociopath”, implying Rick is aware of Morty’s darker potential.. And maybe wishes he weren’t, since it’s with Toxic.

“Remember us?!” Us. Not “me”.

Denial of reliance on Morty, a reliance which sounds almost like a (psychotic?) dependency.

Affirms to Healthy Rick he must assume dominance over Healthy Morty. He sounded especially earnest, and anything but dismissive over its importance.

“Don’t negotiate”, anger and indignance but subtext might be worry and necessity for the ‘proper’ dynamic

Eyes adjusting, or so caught up in rage he misses what’s obviously going to be in front of him?

Demands Morty’s excitement, and includes him, “We did it”

“Fuck you Summer!”

Described by Healthy Rick as “literally unable to see the bigger picture”, implying he is myopic and self-obsessed

Incapable of humor. Too much suffering and self-obsession.

“Bottled up inside a sentimental jackass” Rick hates his own sentimentality to no one’s surprise

Coo’s to grow a monster into a loyal fighting dog with gibberish love, both manipulative, controlling, and possibly earnest

Straight into a violent brawl, immediately fighting dirty. No honor!

“I lie about everything!”

Fear of confinement, of being stifled or silenced. He values his freedom and autonomy above anything, and no one else’s.

Simply vacates once Beth shows up, not a word to her or about her

Can’t achieve vengeance, so he damns the world to his own hell

“You’re not impressing anyone!” Because impressing people is what HE wants to do, and he IS impressed by Healthy Rick’s callous cruelty

Requires constant validation, despite that impossibility when all of existence is beneath him

Rage as a plaintive call into the Absurd

“Grandpa’s here.”

Summary: Despite everything, he is paradoxically insecure and suffering his intense narcissism. He is wracked with oppressive psychological pain and tortures himself with his loneliness. Godhood is inescapable, a burden he cannot make peace with. He never seems pleased by his power, only harnessing it because there is no other way of being. His fate is eternal isolation, no matter how much he screams or how hard he thrashes.. or how much his familial bonds matter to him.

“Healthy” Rick

1st thing he does is apologize to the spa hand, insisting on his wrongdoing even as the apology is accepted. It isn’t just politeness, he seems to feel real guilt.

Smiles at the infinite possibilities of the universe, and relinquishes his sense of control or understanding of it (Relinquishing self to Camus’ Absurd?)

His genius naturally wants to expand on Morty’s “interesting” music idea, before realizing he’d gotten caught up in trying to calculate happiness. Some things are out of his reach and not his place, and that’s okay.

Pride in Morty, and his familial connection to him

Blows off his genius and potential in favor of simplicity

Respectful of others’ autonomy and needs, “A moment of your time?”

Apologizes several times throughout

Personal responsibility

Feels concern, and openly comes to Healthy Morty about it

Shares the entirety of the problem, as well as his feelings on it

Nervous, uncertain when Morty blows off the phone call, and hesitates before continuing

Wants to work with Morty at an even level, seeing him as an equal?

Wouldn’t have detoxed, but knows he still would have if he had known pre-detox. Familiar with himself and his demons.

Not seeing the disturbing voicemails as the problem to stop, but rather the pain of the Toxics.

“We yanked them from their home.”

Trusting to a fault, even trusting his own inner demons not to lie

Seems okay with the concepts of finality and things being finite

Seems to smile as he works, implying a sense of ownership over his capability

Even smiles at his toxins. Does this Rick actually love himself? Empathy for others’ suffering? Seems pleased with himself for finding and facilitating an amicable solution.

Indecisive, insecure with his own judgement without Morty’s assurance. At first. Sense of adult responsibility bringing him to make the choice anyway?

Can’t disregard the “will to live” in the Toxics. Respect for and values life in all expressions

Has his sense of humor, though it is still capable of being destructive

“I’m accountable to my own toxins, right?” Strong sense of responsibility for his whole self and his behavior. Uncertainty, and a desire for moral integrity. Seeking validation and reassurance, expressing weakness in the form of uncertainty and insecurity.

Also responsible for their resolution, their happiness, homing them. Owning them as part of himself.

Startled by Morty’s outburst of breaking the phone-- by the suddenness, finality, and violence of it.

Realizes Healthy Morty won’t be of help, confused and disappointed by it. Something else he failed to expect.

Doesn’t anticipate the actions or motivations of others, making only the best assumptions. Belief in inherent good?

Ready to fight only after being struck, and even then, he takes slow initiative

“We can resolve our issues without resorting to—“ This Rick believes in resolution and recovery! Maybe therapy too..

Tolerant to the point of absolute pacifism, even in the face of a world-scale threat that he should still be responsible for.

Honorable in his treatment of others, even attempting to fight his Toxic as a last resort and in a fair boxing fashion

Didn’t seem to predict that the Toxic would fight dirty, even as its obvious. Does his intelligence take such a backseat to his honor?

Capable and fully willing to self-sacrifice for what’s right(re-toxifying)

“Sorry Summer!” “Summer get out of here!”

“Leave her out of this!” Protecting Beth from his own personal struggle, and the danger it wroughts

“I’m so sorry, girls.” Accepts and embraces his role as caring patriarch

Appreciative of Healthy Morty’s drive to stop the Toxics, but explains in a fatherly way that it “isn’t their place” and the Toxics have “a right to their worldview”

States that Toxic Rick’s motivations “are a mystery”. Might be a vague answer to avoid explaining more than he sees is necessary. If so, doesn’t want his Toxic to trouble his family.

Describes Toxic Rick as his “entitlement, narcissism, crippling loneliness” and his “irrational attachments”

Too healthy to lie, and too uncaring to have a personal stake in Toxic Morty

Possesses Rick’s capacity for ruthlessness

“You’ve never done anything but complain about me being in charge” Healthy Rick holds dominance in Rick’s psyche

Sees merging with the Toxics as healthy. Becoming a complete and healthy person requires embracing one’s demons

Empathy for others, including himself

Forces his Toxic’s surrender by exploiting his love for his grandson. Ouch.

Summary: Doesn’t let his own shortcomings be a problem for himself or anyone else, apologizing when they do. He is never controlled by fear, unlike the Toxic, and finds peace in being passive when it comes to the grandiosity of the universe. Feels openly, unguarded. Believes in personal growth, being honorable, and talking things out. A strong sense of personal responsibility, especially in regards to his place as patriarch of the family. Either possesses a sense of empathy for the plights of others (and himself), or feels such responsibility that he will do what is “right” regardless.. and by any means necessary, as long as it doesn’t conflict with his own ethics. At times, he is contradictory, perhaps telling of his indifference.

[marvelous-imagining]

Lost

MASTERLIST

Request: I saw that requests are open and I was hoping you could do a song fic with Bucky or Steve (which ever you feel more comfortable with) using the song Lost by Chance the Rapper ft. NoName. I'm just obsessed with this song and I can't help but imagine anyone but you doing it justice!💖  

A/N: This one is... dark. I don’t know if the lyrics were meant to seem this dark but... my mind went there, haha. So, hope you like this! Sorry for taking so long, I was actually having a hard time figuring out where to begin, how to continue... But when I finally started, it was hard to stop. I needed to get everything down at once and I did. It’s a little all over the place but I wanted to stay true to the song and not add too much stuff. Again, hope you like this one! 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Words: 2,356

Warning: angst, drugs, mentions of sex, dysfunctional family relationship, some strong language... anything else? 

Damn I'm in so deep Probably cause you're empty You can't even speak Damn your mouth so minty  

When Bucky had first seen you, he hadn't known how utterly fascinating you were. It wasn't until you two had ended up hooking up a couple of times that he got to know you. He was absolutely mesmerized by you.

He wasn't sure what it was that made him to become so engrossed in you. Maybe it was the way you let him in so easily. You let him see the parts of you that you kept hidden from everyone else. You shared so much with him and let him see just how damaged you had gotten throughout your life. Maybe that's what really intrigued him about you because he didn't feel so alone with his own troubles.

He knew all your deepest, darkest secrets and you knew some of his, though not every single one of them. He had gotten to know you and found out just how empty you were on the inside.

Whenever you were in a worse state than normal, you'd call him up. He knew you wanted him to help you through whatever you were going through but he couldn't really give you emotional support or any support for that matter.

The only way he knew how to help you was to make you forget about everything for a while. The way he knew he'd get to completely captivate your mind and focus only on him was to really make you feel something, feel him.

He'd give you himself, let you focus all your attention on him and forget about all your problems. He'd get something in return too. While he helped you out, he got to feel your gentle touch on his skin and your minty lips on his.

And boy, did he love it.

Ooh your mama hate me Daddy wouldn't let you if he ever met me If he ever met you Put that shit behind us And put this in your sinus Mine is all up in my gums Minus all that shit it's lined with

Bucky had first-hand experience on the problems you had with your family. He had met your mother a couple of times when she'd come to visit you. You never wanted her to, you were in bad terms. All she ever did was bring you down, complain and scold. She'd sometimes see him around you and with her motherly instincts kicking in, told him to stay away, told you to get rid of him. She hated him, she really did. She said he wasn't good for you, he was just bad influence.

She would remind you, one way or another, that if your father met Bucky, he would do anything to keep him away from you. That's when you'd lose it, scream at her and tell her that your father wasn't around. He had left years ago and it was something you never got over and your mother reminding you of him wasn't helping.

When you would let her have a piece of your mind, she'd only get angrier. A yelling match would start, you'd say hurtful things, you'd curse her out and say you never wanted to see her again. She still always came back and it would be pretty much the same each time.

Whenever you'd finally get rid of her, Bucky would be there for you. He'd shush you if you were getting worked up, yelling or crying about how terrible your mother was. He'd tell you the two of you could put that behind you, forget it. Sometimes, if you wanted or seemed like you needed it, he'd let you have the occasional kick of cocaine.

He knew it was wrong and it could be fatal if the usage of the drug was taken to extremes but...

Sometimes he'd need it too.

I say oh oh oh ohh You been scratchin, you been fiendin I'm a fix you, I'm a fuck you I'm a get rid of them demons  

If he noticed you've been taking more drugs, showing signs of craving that sweet release of being high, he got worried.

He'd notice it in your face too, sometimes he'd see you looking through all your cabinets and closets, even Bucky's pockets. He'd notice you running your hand over your face in distress and tug your hair. He'd keep looking at you until your gaze finally met his.

He'd shake his head, not in disappointment as you'd always think at first. All you had known your whole life was how it felt to disappoint someone and even when you thought Bucky was disappointed in you, he always proved you wrong.

Instead of being disappointed, he wanted to help you. He genuinely did. Too bad he didn't really know how to. He knew your inner demons were bothering you, he wanted to do anything he could to help you but he only knew one way.

The only way he knew how to silence your demons was make you scream louder than them. That was accomplished by burying himself between your legs.

My druggy Love me When I'm ugly Hug me When I'm bummy, scummy I'm your hubby Let's get lost, let's get lost    

While he was helping you, he realized you had been helping him as well. He realized he needed someone to be there for him and although he didn't really share much, he knew you were there for him. He needed to have someone to rely on and that was what he had when he was with you.

He felt wanted whenever you were around. He felt cared for even if he had a bad day or had doubts about himself. When he'd feel like a monster, you'd be there to hold him like he was the only person in the world you cared about.

When you held him like that, so kind and no sexual motive behind your actions, it's when he wanted to stop the time, freeze it. He just wanted to stay in that moment forever and get lost in your comfortable embrace.

Damn I need a minute... aight lehgo She fell in love, it fell apart... aight let go She met her match, I let her match She lit her match, she let me smoke

The two of you weren't really dating, you weren't exclusive at least by an agreement. Neither of you really slept around, you two relied on each other too much. You couldn't really live without one another, at least you didn't try to but when feelings started to develop on your part, it scared Bucky.

At first you wouldn't admit you had feelings for him but Bucky saw right through you. It really did scare him, you two were close to falling out. That night you ended in bad terms, there was a lot of yelling and pouring your hearts out. After both of you had had enough, Bucky had left, slamming doors.

It didn't take long until you caved in. You called him up, asking him to come over. He didn't really put up a fight. He came to you whenever you asked.

You believed you had found something special in Bucky. You believed he was a good match for you if not a perfect one. You were so devoted to him even if you had doubts whether he felt the same way towards you. You didn't want to let him go and he didn't seem to want you to either.

Without even intending to, you gave him everything. The minute he stepped through that door again, you knew you'd do anything to make him stay. He was your one true match, whether you were his or not. It didn't seem to matter to him, though, he just went along with it, got something good out of it himself.

Yeah me mad petty, Yeah me bogus Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah me know Yeah she knew too, it made her love it Her pussy like me, her heart like fuck it  

Sometimes Bucky would be so unbelievably frustrating and he knew it. He was misleading sometimes, not as genuine as you would have wanted him to be. Sometimes you would ask him to come over and he'd suggest a time that fit his schedule. You'd look forward to him coming over at the exact time, maybe half an hour later but then he'd show up hours later.

Finally when he'd come to your place, you'd be fuming mad. You'd tell him you've had enough of his shit, tell him to get out. He'd just roll his eyes, tell you that you're no better.

You'd find out he came later than promised because he was still mad about something you had said or done. He was petty, although he disagreed.

You'd start a yelling match, fire rushing through you as your heart started beating with anger. You'd call him out, you'd say some hurtful things and he'd do the same.

After a while of yelling and you telling him you never wanted to see him again, he'd prove you wrong. He'd push your buttons just in the right way to change your anger into sexual frustration. He'd say just the right things to make you crumble and give in to your need for him.

Even when fighting, you still wanted to jump his bones and your heart was not doing anything to prevent you from doing just that. If anything, it was encouraging you to do it.

So dance for daddy like Gator Ain't no partners on this trip And lose yourself in my room And find yourself in my grip I'm sayin

You were like a puppet on a string that was in Bucky's control. He knew he had you under his control, wrapped around his finger.

He somehow had managed to keep you along his side without defining your relationship. You weren't a couple. Even though you were in this together, you still weren't considered to be together. You knew you'd always be alone even if he was around because he wouldn't give in and make things official.

Again, you didn't care. You'd always somehow wander to his arms as if it was the safest place on earth. You could be upset with him but the second you'd fall into his embrace, it was a lost cause. You'd lose yourself to him, to his grasp.

You'd do what you always did; have sex until both of you were too exhausted to continue. And as you'd lie in bed, thinking through what had just happened, you'd be reminded of the way Bucky would always prove you wrong during arguments. He'd always say you'd be crawling back to him even if you told him to go to hell. He was absolutely right.

The whole things was a huge "I told you so" smacking you in the face.

I blessed myself inside your arms one day Swear to God there I was when the dress And the Silver buttons fade away Miss Mary Mattress, geriatrics Fuck me into open caskets, I wanna die with this

No matter how sad and defeated you'd feel after he'd proven you wrong, being wrapped up in his arms would always feel like a blessing. Being there, watching his face closely as his brows would furrow in the moment of pleasure was something that would always make it all worth it.

You'd beg him to finish what you two had started, swearing to yourself that you were happy. He'd do just that, leaving you withering on the soft mattress, wrapped up in the sheets.

You'd lie there, silent, listening to his soft breathing while he slept peacefully. You'd have a hard time falling asleep, thinking about everything that came to your mind. You'd think about the night, how you had felt before and you'd sigh sadly. Nothing could ever make you feel as alive as being with him would. You'd rather fuck him into oblivion and exhaust yourself than to be left without his touch and only your own thoughts as company.

I wanna stop seeing my psychiatrist She said "pill pop, baby girl cause I promise you, you tweaked The empty bottled loneliness, this happiness you seek"  

Sometimes your days could get so bad that you'd wander to your bathroom in the middle of the night, feeling empty inside. Sometimes when Bucky wasn't there to stop you or make you feel something, you'd turn to the comfort of some pills. You'd take too many anti-depressants, pop the pills multiple at a time and hope you'd suddenly feel better.

You were looking for happiness in the pills but all you'd get was a feeling of your head being lighter and your eyes opening and closing over and over again. The pills made you sleepy. So sleepy, it was hard to stay awake, almost impossible especially after taking too many of them.

Sometimes just as you were falling asleep, you just wished you wouldn't wake up to another day.

The masochism that you preach Practice back flips, tragic actress On a movie with no screen When the only time he loves me is naked in my dreams  

You'd most likely feel embarrassed and hurt after whatever happened with Bucky. For some reason, you still enjoyed it, being with him. You were quite sure you were only enjoying the feeling of him but you had gotten so used to how it all made you feel, sad and humiliated, you'd sometimes even enjoy that as well. You'd still feel the pain but whatever Bucky was a part of, you enjoyed.

Even though you knew he saw right through you, just how exhausted and calloused you were, you'd still sometimes pretend to be happy. You'd act as if nothing was wrong although you knew you couldn't hide your true self from him.

You were doing it for yourself mostly, not him. You tried to make yourself believe you were happy with your life, with him and the 'love' he gave you...

Because deep down you knew the only time he was in love with you was in the bedroom, when you'd give him what he wanted and what you believed you wanted too.

But you knew, even then that 'love' he felt for you was only a product of your daydreams.

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