#I WANT SOME TOO 😍😍 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lottiecrabie · 1 year

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🫣🫣🫣 analysis:

she seems to be motivated by her religious upbringing and the desire to adhere to the expectations placed upon her. there's probably an underlying motivation to find a sense of belonging and acceptance within her religious community specifically. she seems to have a negative perception of matty (sinful, disruptive and mocking). she experiences an internal conflict between her expected role as a devout individual and her suppressed emotions and his presence represents a conflict for her, as she perceives him as a disruption to her religious experience. she also interprets his laughter as him mocking the religious proceedings. she has a strong reaction to Matty's presence and behaviour. she seems to resent him for attending the religious service if he is only going to cause a disturbance. besides she could feel a sense of duty to defend her faith and prove her commitment to her faith. her discomfort stems from a perception that his gaze goes beyond merely seeing the mask she puts on for others. for some reason she feels that he has the ability to penetrate through her carefully constructed façade. the discomfort arises from the realization that his perceptive stare threatens to expose her. it may also stem from a fear of being judged for her true thoughts, emotions and desires. her fear of being exposed and having her true self revealed could trigger a defensive response leading to negative emotions such as resentment or hatred towards him. additionally, his ability to see through her may act as a reminder of the internal conflict she faces which could amplify her negative emotions towards him. the gaze represents an intrusion into her carefully crafted façade and challenges her ability to control how she is perceived. on the other hand, some part of her might envy his apparent carefree attitude. seeing him embrace a life that seems to defy the rules she feels bound by might intensify her feelings of resentment which could also contribute to her negative feelings towards him. alongside her envy, she may also feel a conflicting sense of admiration which might intensify her internal conflict, as she simultaneously longs to emulate his carefree nature while also resenting him for embodying the freedom she desires - this is a complex interplay between admiration and envy could contribute to her mixed feelings towards him.

she harbours unspoken anger and desires which she struggles to suppress and understand and despite her negative emotions (annoyance, discomfort, surprise and a sense of unspoken anger), she consciously tries to maintain a complacent and composed demeanor in front of her parents by masking her true emotions behind a smile thus conforming to the expectations placed upon her. instead of confronting her own internal conflicts she might project her negative emotions towards matty as a way to distance herself from her own discomfort.

Matty's motivations remain somewhat ambiguous at first. however, his actions during the service suggest that he has a desire to disrupt and challenge - it's not clear if he wants to provoke the reader directly or if he's simply expressing his rebellious nature in general. either way, his behaviour seems to be deliberate. matty's attention towards her as well as his apparent enjoyment of provoking her hints at a complex dynamic and a potential emotional connection & fascination. regardless, his fascination with y/n is evident through his attention-seeking behaviour (lmao @ the attention-seeking). his attraction to her seems to stem not only from physical desire but also from a genuine interest in exploring and push the boundaries between their contrasting views. he takes pleasure in challenging her beliefs, questioning the existence of God and engaging in intellectual and emotional battles with her. his interactions with her reveal a strong desire for authenticity and honesty. matty's character also demonstrates a certain level of self-assuredness and confidence. there is an air of mystery surrounding him. oh and his actions and words reveal a certain level of self-awareness of the impact he has on her. his motivations become clearer as he reveals his atheistic views and his intent to challenge and question her faith. his rebellious and non-conformist nature explains his enjoyment of provoking and taunting her as well as his desire to provoke thought and challenge her beliefs. their dialogue delves into philosophical aspects examining the nature of faith, the existence of God and the concept of finding meaning and purpose in life. the clash between her belief in God and his atheism creates a philosophical tension that intensifies as their conflict escalates. the reader seems to be drawn to Matty's unabashed and honest expression of his thoughts. on the other hand, matty might find y/n's devotion and attempt to reconcile her faith with her inner rebelliousness intriguing and attractive. the attraction they feel for each other may also stem from a shared desire to explore their own identities. they represent something novel and intriguing to each other. there is a sense of mutual fascination and attraction which culminates in a kiss that for the reader represents a moment of liberation and a surrender to her hidden desires.

by externalising blame onto matty, she seeks to alleviate feelings of guilt and maintain a sense of moral righteousness. this defense mechanism allows her to preserve her self-image and uphold the façade she has constructed. it serves as a way to protect her ego and avoid confronting her own actions. she may be attempting to regain a sense of control over the situation and assert her own moral superiority. one possible reason why matty doesn't seem to take any real offense to some of the things she says is that he may have a level of emotional resilience and a nonchalant attitude towards conflict or personal attacks; another possibility is that he may possess a certain level of emotional maturity and self-assuredness that allows him to brush off things he doesn't really like to her which could suggest that he has a strong sense of self and isnt as affected by external judgments or accusations. it could also be more evidence that he has a deep understanding of her internal struggles and defense mechanisms and for that reason he may recognize that her unkind words are a product of her own internal conflict. in this case, by not taking real offense, he may be demonstrating empathy realising that her words are more reflective of her own struggles rather than a genuine indictment of him. another interpretation, and this one upset me a little, could be that he is unfazed by the blame because he has his own emotional walls or defense mechanisms. maybe he is accustomed to deflecting personal attacks (😞). but another theory is that he may be willing to overlook or downplay her behaviour in order to maintain their connection and pursue his interests which would suggest a certain level of strategic mindset on his part but it would inevitably end up in built-up resentment so yeah, not very wise but that doesn't seem likely as he appears to be very passionate and authentic and not necessarily someone who's manipulative and calculating.

with that being said, Matty displays a sharp intellect and wit which suggests a keen mind and an interest in intellectual stimulation. additionally, he displays a unique ability to observe (he seems to be one of the first to notice the façade she puts up) indicating a perceptive nature. his engagement in philosophical discussions and his ability to challenge others suggests a potential for high intelligence. despite being highly intelligent, these individuals often show disinterest in school as it doesn't provide the kind mental stimulation that they need. his observations about her true feelings and emotions also indicate empathy and emotional intelligence as he seems to understand something that most people fail to notice. he is also independent and has a desire to assert his own perspectives. however despite his outwardly provocative demeanor, matty exhibits emotional depth during intimate moments (👀). his reactions during intimate moments are very emotional which show he has a capacity to freely experience and express deep emotions in a passionate manner. but while he exhibits exceptional emotional depth in certain moments he also displays emotional detachment and a sarcastic demeanor (probably a defense mechanism) and his deliberate challenging of other people's beliefs may come across as confrontational & insensitive to others. therefore, while he demonstrates exceptional perceptive qualities, it is unclear to what extent he truly empathizes with others, i.e., it isn't clear if his focus on challenging beliefs and his seemingly detached nature may indicate a limited capacity for understanding and relating to the emotions and experiences of others. my psychiatrist also said he'd like to know if his rebelliousness has a purpose because it's not clear to him if he's driven by a clear purpose/philosophy. if he doesn't have a purpose, then his own actions can become destructive in the long run and lead to a sense of aimlessness or irresponsibility in his actions. if, on the other hand, he does have a purpose then he has a purpose.

final thoughts on y/n:

she exhibits a complex psychological profile. she strives for perfection and conformity seeking validation from her community and family. but her struggle with anxiety is evident throughout this first part. she experiences pressure from her family and society to maintain a flawless image, leading to a constant fear of falling short. her attraction to matty represents a manifestation of her hidden desires and a longing for authenticity which serves as a catalyst for self-discovery. the intense emotional and physical connection with matty provides her with a temporary escape but also adds to her psychological turmoil. her behaviour suggests an underlying need for autonomy and individuality since she seems to be dealing with feelings of being trapped resulting in a desire to break free and explore her authentic self. additionally, her experiences highlight the importance of identity formation at that stage of her life and the search for meaning. it is also possible that she feels unseen by those around her (including her parents). despite her efforts to maintain the façade and living up to societal and familial expectations, there may be a deep-rooted and paradoxical desire within her to be seen and understood for who she truly is. while she consciously chooses to maintain the façade, there could be an underlying (take a shot every time I say 'underlying') longing for someone to recognize her true identity. despite disagreeing with him, she may experience a sense of validation and understanding through her interactions with matty. she may feel seen in a way she hasn't before. matty's ability to see through her façade and engage with the complexities of her character may have awakened a desire within her to be seen and accepted for who she truly is beyond the expectations placed upon her. this is a common longing in people who feel pressured to conform and hide aspects of their true selves which creates a contrasting mixture of feelings: desire to be seen + fear of actually being seen. she displays a strong sense of responsibility and conscientiousness, a capacity for introspection and a rich emotional inner world. her interactions with Matty made it clear that she's a very curious person. she exhibits self-destructive impulses andd explosive outbursts. her desire for validation and fear of falling short indicate underlying feelings of insecurity and a need for external approval. she also seems to be quite indecisive at times. she oscillates between adhering to her religious beliefs and succumbing to the allure of temptation. finally, she struggles to assert herself and communicate her needs and boundaries effectively leading to internalized frustration.

and this is it 🫡

- 🐥💖

OH I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!! i swear i have been religiously (ah) checking my askbox like When will i get this psychiatrist’s man thoughts on my porn. once again he is so careful and intricate with his analysis and it makes me so happy to see. (and you are very careful and intricate explaining his analysis, of course. i’m sure you had a big part in this) i think he went even deeper than i have, and he definitely drew an accurate portrait of their psyche which was Very interesting to see how someone with actual knowledge would therapize them.

ok here are my own thoughts, put under the keep reading line because Poor average crabette reader having to scroll through this novel

he has a great understanding of who reader is! everything he said was extremely truthful and well articulated. i think the important part of reader is that she’s an unreliable narrator. since she is so deeply into her own faith and resulting guilt, she sees the world in these very stark contrasts and tends to negatively perceive everything. we see her do it a bunch of times, referring to herself as a pit of darkness or whatever just for feeling horny. that also changes the way she sees matty. because she is ‘tempted’ by him, ie. she is attracted to him and doesn’t know how to reckon with that, she will push this sinful, serpent narrative on him. though his laugh in church was mocking and disruptive, the level at which she is bothered by it is because she is hyperaware of him. to me that’s what The Gaze represents, both matty genuinely seeing past her facade (he says in pfms2 that she has a ‘look in her eyes like she could burn this whole place. like she chooses not to.’ clearly indicating he does see beyond her mask, specifically recognizing the ‘unspoken anger’ she tries to hide) and reader wanting him to, sort of grandiosing this look because she pushes this narrative on him. a look can feel a lot more intense, a lot more meaningful when you want that person, and it’s a lot easier to deal with it by pushing the narrative that it’s all him, all his fault, all his doing. it happens most obviously when matty literally tells her ‘that cookie looks good’ and she snaps at him like he insulted her, like he’s taunting her.

he also completely hit the nail on the head with matty’s characterization. he is very much a rebellious, confident and honest person. i don’t think he has a purpose for that rebellion— he is uncomfortable in the town and hates the societal norms, so he provokes and rebels as a way of lashing out until he can finally ‘burn this place to ground’ or other emo expressions. he is definitely attracted to the depth she hides from people. he is fascinated by her and likes to tease and prod her to see her shed her mask. that’s part of the reasons he enters these philosophical debates and questions her faith; to then see her get angry and more ‘herself’. force her to reveal her true self, to feel. it’s because he coaxes these moments of sincerity out of her that she finally snaps and feels what she’s been trying to smother: anger, but mostly attraction. she finally kisses him.

matty not getting mad at her for pushing the blame on him is, as your psychiatrist theorized, because he does recognize that it’s a defense mechanism. it’s also pretty tame: she only says that he’s a bad influence and to leave her alone. when he teases her, she retorts by being angry and kind of merciless, which again only makes her act like her true self instead of this meek, complacent version, something he enjoys of her. it’s different from pfms2 when she didn’t exactly push blame on him, but more spoke that she was forsaken and disgusting, refused his touch, and then said not to ‘bring her with him’, implying he was forsaken and disgusting. that’s a lot more serious accusations and this, in contrast, actually hurt matty and made him stop speaking to her for while. the lack of severity and tame words are a big reason why he didn’t get offended that first time.

again, your psy completely understood the characters! reader especially with his ‘final thoughts’. it was so, so fun to read these Very official thoughts and analysis. thank you one billion times for writing it all down and making sense of what i’m sure was a long conversation. and for sharing it with me, it made me so happy to read i’m so so glad you talked to your psychiatrist about pfms (still surreal to think about😭😭) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

#THE FSCT THAT YOU HAD TO TYPE THIS TWICE OH ANON I WANT TO KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH #this is just so. 😍😍💘🧁🌸💞💓🥰#and i hope that analysis helped You with some shit too😭#pray for my soul #ask

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