#I WAS JUST GETTING GIFTS FOR MY DISGUSTING SIBLINGS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

betterfettered · 1 year

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Ok but imagine if the Mc they got was religious.

Like daily prayers, church going. Pretty much full fledged christian ending up in devildom with literal demons.

•Religious!mc who devoted their life to christ getting railed by the demon bros (especially lucifer).

•Religious!mc who was saving themself for marriage can no longer do so after her nights with the boys.

•Religious!mc who wore a cross necklace clutching it around her neck as they get railed from behind.

•Religious mc! who prays for forgiveness after begging for more the night before.

(I’m sorry but corruption kink is top teir + first time doing something like this so idk if it’s like worded correctly)

Anonnamin this ask gels so well with another one that I got about a super sweet MC from my moon anon!

Alright, but imagine this. A cute little reader who is just SUCH a softie Like, they are the type to help old ladies cross the street, volunteer at soup kitchens, work at a bakery, always give the brothers random little gifts that remind them of them, and just wholesome stuff like that. But the poor bby always blames themselves for any problems, like they are such a little ball of sunshine who is always blaming themselves, it's quite sad actually. Like they are always trying to brighten everyone's day and smiling, but if someone even slightly raises their tone at reader, reader will start tearing up and apologizing. They are just such a sweet little thing, and like the entire school absolutely loves them and a lot of people see reader like a little sibling figure. Because of this the brothers absolutely love this innocent cute little reader who only wants to make everyone feel happy and loved, but then their are all the other students at school stealing away reader's attention and protecting reader when they see how obsessive and possessive the brothers are. (Reader has no clue though lol, absentee parental figures gang, don't know what healthy love is ✌) (If the brothers get born mad at reader, reader will cry and isolate themselves because "they aren't enough for them" and "they probably don't wanna deal with me right now", and just close themselves off) Moon anon 🌙

I'm gonna combine the two of them together into an ask about a super saintly MC. 🧚🏿 If you feel like there was something I missed feel free to send in another ask~

It's killing me to imagine a terrified religious!MC waking up and meeting real life villains from the bible LOOOOOL literally wakes up, is introduced to The Actual Lucifer, passes back out again hahahahahha

I mention a trans girl with a dick in this, I don't know if that needs a warning. If you read this and appreciate the warning, please let me know somehow. Otherwise I'm not going to mention this kind of thing again.

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere, please let me know if reader is gendered)(noncon)(violence against reader)(gaslighting)(exhibitionism)(drugging)(plus size reader 💖🫡)(blasphemy, but you knew that LOLOL)(18+ readers only please, mdni)(Please let me know if I am missing a TW)[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

Yandere!Lucifer would soon feel pretty protective over an MC like this, especially because he thinks you're so foolish easily taken advantage of. He would also appreciate how obedient you are, it's so much easier than needing to tell his brothers to do or not do things over and over again. In a sense, he would protect you from things that he would do to you himself: he's not going to let concerned students at RAD take up all of your time because he himself is going to take up all of your time. He's not going to let other people order you around but he certainly is going to order you around. Most importantly, he won't let other people force you to live your life one way or another because you will be living life to his exact specifications.

I think on the other hand that he'd be kind of personally offended by your brand of religiousness. It intrinsically paints him as a bad guy and makes his reasoning out to be unjustified which, even if it weren't a sore spot, contradicts what he likes to believe about himself. I think his real cruelty streak would start to show around how he dismisses your beliefs. The first time you earn yourself a bad punishment from him, he'll be determined to hurt and violate you in ways that you would not have been able to imagine before, shoving toys into you that are way, way too big for only your first time, putting chained clamps on your nipples and tugging them until you are hoarse from screaming, forcing orgasm upon orgasm onto you until you it only hurts, paddling you until you're shaking. He'll ask why your God isn't helping you, but no answer you give him will be the right one (earning a larger toy or maybe another paddle): the real answer is because you like what he's doing to you, it's what you've always wanted, and your God knows that.

Yandere!Mammon would be sooo bad with this kind of MC LOL He's such a scammer that he would completely take you for all you're worth. You'd both end up broke and in trouble because of him LOLLL He has a hard time admitting when he's done something shitty, so he might allow you to blame yourself for things quite a bit, maybe even use your low self esteem to guilt you for spending time with other people at school vying for your attention (I'll circle back to this).

I don't think he'd have it on him to outright force himself on you because you're so innocent and sweet. Instead, he'll probably slip a double dose of an aphrodisiac into a snack he serves you and wait for you to come onto him. Imagine always wearing a religious robe and, after being drugged, hurriedly yanking it up in a daze so you can dumbly grind on Mammon's thigh and grab his wrists so you can rub his hands all over your body because you have no idea what to actually do about being horny LOL After he fucks you until you're satisfied, he'll let you think that the entire thing was your idea all along. If you get way too torn up about your sinful thoughts and behavior he might grudgingly admit that maybe you ate something strange. Circling back to the above, he is happy to take advantage of your guilt and naivete but he does have a kernel of morals deep down.

Yandere!Leviathan would be obsessed with your purity and good heartedness. I don't even want to mention her in this context because she is a child but honestly your personality would align with a lot of the kinds of things he likes about Ruri-chan. It's the ideal magical girl: chipper, sweet, always trying to help others etc. He'd be quietly obsessed with your religious behavior: you might be praying and then look up and see him watching you, or when you are helping people with things in public he follows you around and tries to help, too.

Unfortunately, the more he becomes obsessed with your purity, the more dirty thinking about you sexually will become to him, which means it makes him all the hornier LOL You'll start to notice him staring at your body and giving you lingering touches on your legs and shoulders. When he finally can't take it any more, he will want to shield you from the corruption as much as possible. He'll sneak into your room at night with a blindfold, tie it over your eyes and tell you to just go back to sleep. Obviously you wouldn't be able to sleep through someone taking your virginity, so he'll just try to soothe you as you cry even though he's fucking you way too hard because of his inexperience. You feel dirty and bruised once he's done with you, but rather than comfort you, he'll apologize by insulting himself and saying how awful and wicked he is and how you deserve better. You are always inclined to blame yourself, so even though you still feel his handprints all over you and the weird slipperiness between your legs makes you feel disgusting, you'll tell him it's not his fault and wonder what you must have done to provoke him. Levi is one of those people who says "I am a bad person anyway so might as well do it again", so expect the nightly visits to continue. You'll spend them clutching a cross as tightly as you can and praying, sadly unaware that that is only turning him on more.

Yandere!Satan wants to study you like an academic subject and needs to know everything about you that there is to know, so he'd be very very interested in your religion since it's such a big part of who you are. He also doesn't have as much experience with the celestial realm as the other brothers, so is more open to hearing about what is in your Bible since he doesn't have his own beliefs about it. You would literally be doing "Bible study and chill" with him where he listens to you talk about God and read scripture, and you would be so pleased when he seems like maybe he is thinking about converting. After all, to you helping him see the Lord's light is one of the kindest, sweetest things you can do.

That's why when the "and chill" part comes in you would feel so shocked and betrayed. You're sitting on his lap, reading pages out loud to him when you feel his teeth latch onto your neck and his tongue move back and forth over the sensitive skin while he gropes you. Maybe you're confused about his intention, so you ask what he's doing while he pins you face down by your shoulders, pulling your ass up and against him. You'd be confused and trying to explain that this isn't pious at all when he tells you he doesn't believe any of that shit at all and never did, and the shock would be so deep you don't even cry while he pulls your clothes off and throws your Bible to the floor carelessly like it's trash. Like Lucifer, he's the type to ask something like where it says in your scriptures that you should cum all over his face while he gives you head, or to slap you and actually quote Bible passages about meekness to you when you try to resist, asking if you really even believe what you read to him.

Yandere!Asmodeus is going to think how innocent you are is so cute and try to corrupt you immediately. Imagine you have baked some cookies, and you are going to give them out. He'll offer to go with you and then right before you step into the classroom he'll catch you by your waist, pulling your soft body back towards him until his arms are smushing your stomach. Asmo will whisper with his lips against your ear that every one of these people who is vying for your attention because you're so sweet actually just wants to be the first one to breed you, that when you hand them cookies they just think about fucking every hole you have. He'll ask what hole you'd use for which person until you struggle to get out of his arms and run away.

But even when you're gone, you can't help but think of his question every time you hand out a cookie, or in gym when a girl tries to talk to you and you can see her cock through her pants you can't help but think you want to take her in your mouth because it would hurt anywhere else. It's embarrassing and flustering and makes you want to be by yourself, which is a perfect time for Asmo to come and find you, to yank your robe up and point out how aroused you are. He'll narrate what's happening to your body, explaining it's totally natural to feel that way when you want to have sex, and asking who you saw that made you so horny.

He'll do this as long as he needs to until you are begging him to help you with this feeling between your legs that's driving you crazy and makes it hard to sit still in class. When you apologize to god before begging him to fuck you, he'll tell you that there's no need to. God gave you these feelings so you could act on them. He wants you to feel pleasure.

Yandere!Beel would be annoyed with how you let anyone who wants your attention have it, and he'd dislike how you always trust your god to keep you safe instead of him. God lets bad things happen all the time, so in his mind thats a ridiculous system. Whenever he sees you clutching your cross or praying, he will demand to know what it is you're asking for and try to give it to you himself. He thinks religion and your cross is a distraction from your relationship to him, especially since he's met all the people you're talking about and none of them are that special to him. If he wants your attention, he just cuts in to where you are and demands it, even if that means picking you up and carrying you away.

Yan!Beel will always fuck you when his libido outpaces his sense of control, but when he hears you praying he'll be enraged. You don't need that stuff! He'll try to rip your cross off of your neck, but the chain is too strong so he ends up choking you by it. You'd better say that all you need is him, to calm him down. Otherwise, expect him to yank you around by the chain like its a leash, pounding you so hard that you can't catch your breath to pray or beg him to stop. After he cums he'll just jam him fingers into you, stroking you with his other hand until you say what you want.

Listen I love Yandere!Belphie being insane as much as the next cockwhore, but I think he would actually be really, really kind to an MC like this. He went to the human world often to meet new kinds of people since he loves learning about them, so he'd be really comforted by how sweet and gentle you are while also loving how you hold him while he naps and let him tuck his cold feet under you all the time. He likes your prayers because they put him to sleep and give him good dreams.

What would make him snap is the constant attention to other people. He's often waiting for you in bed, so waiting hours and hours just to find out you've been with other people would drive him absolutely crazy. You might be tutoring a few other students and he comes in, seizing you by your hair and slamming your head down onto a desk. You squirm and plead for him to stop, but he'd still rip your clothes off and fuck you in front of them so they know that you are his. Even while you're sobbing he'll say (loud so they can all hear) that he can feel you clenching down on him, so you must love it. You'd turn your head to ask the other demons for help and see most of them with their hands in their pants and their eyes smoldering with lust. The fact that you'd be in so much pain losing your virginity in front of a crowd that you struggle like crazy and pray to be saved just makes the show more interesting.

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dadsbongos · 2 months

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Hi! I was wondering if u write fic requests on minor characters? Holm from Dungeon Meshi is my fave character and it's saddening that there are only a few contents about him T^T (tho its understandable since he's, well, a minor character)

If it's okay w you, I wanna request a Holm x reader scenario where Holm introduces reader to his party as his partner, and everyone is suprised because they didn't expect a laid-back guy like him to be in a serious relationship with someone!

aaaa sorry if it's a bit short and bland I just want some fluffy imagines with the cute lil gnome ;-;

as long as i feel confident enough in my characterization of a character i'm more than happy to tackle minor characters!

holm is a lil cutie patootie so i get it anon

586 words / warnings - not super proofread ~~~

“Congratulations, big guy!” Mickbell claps Holm on the back, earning a startled flinch from the gnome.

“Thank you…” Holm sighs, choosing to ignore the rough jostling, “So as I saying, I finally bought a house. I’d really appreciate it if you all could come to dinner to celebrate.”

Daya scratches the back of her neck, lips pursing thoughtfully, “Can I bring my fiance?”

“Sure! It’ll be a great time for you all to finally meet my spouse as well.”

Kabru is first to respond, a despondent, broken, “wh-what…?” croaking out.

“You’re married?” Rin mutters, covering her twitchy mouth with a gloved hand and brows furrowing. If none of them knew her, they might think she was disgusted by the information.

Holm nods, “I never found the right time to bring it up, but now is perfect!”

“Married…” Kabru’s horrified, he had zero idea Holm was a taken man -- and he’d been meeting with the gnome’s sister often! Did she have no clue either? They weren’t the closest siblings, after all…

“See you all for dinner then?” Holm bypasses the man’s internal struggle completely.

Rin, still with elation masked as indignation, nods rapidly, “We’ll be there!”

…

“Married,” Kabru’s still pouting by the time he and Rin arrive at Holm’s new residence, “And I had no clue…”

“He hardly minds,” Rin rolls her eyes, a kinder lilt overtaking her tone, “Besides, nobody else knew.”

Sighing wistfully, Kabru doesn’t expect her to understand, only continuing to mope.

“You’re probably the only one who brought a gift, so at least take that as a win,” Rin grumbles, annoyed by his angst, and knocks on the door.

Holm is not who greets them at the door, but rather a total stranger who already knows their names, “You must be Rin and Kabru! Welcome in, I’m glad you both could make it!”

Kabru’s terror only increases at the realization you know him by description, and he cannot even guess as to what your name is.

“I should die…” he whispers.

“Huh?” your eyes widen.

“Kabru! Rin!” Holm saddles up beside you, a hand finding the base of your spine while the other outstretches to accept his leader’s cradled gift, “You didn’t have to bring anything!”

“I would’ve felt terrible,” Kabru shakes his head, smile soft yet disarming.

You take it that you must’ve just misheard the nice man, then…

“You know,” Mickbell calls from where he’s lounging in Kuro’s lap on your couch, “I never would’ve taken you as the type for a serious relationship.”

Daya has half a mind to whack the man, and she probably would have if her own fiance hadn’t barked a laugh in approval. Instead, she swats him in the chest with a quiet grumble to be nice.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” if it weren’t for his gentle face, one could take the question as offended.

“You’re too laid-back…” Kuro huffs agreement to Mickbell’s point, “I would’ve thought a married man is more intense.”

“I don’t think that’s necessarily true,” Holm thankfully takes the jab with humor, “I’m seventy-six, not forty.”

“Imagine if you were?” you laugh.

“Nightmare, I’d be about you,” Holm chuckles.

“Oh, but it’d be flattering!”

“I was too immature.”

Mickbell scoffs, “Stupid long-living gnome and his stupid happy marriage.”

This time, Daya does smack the half-foot.

Meanwhile, Kabru is viciously examining yours and Holm’s body language and Rin is trying to psychically tell him to be normal.

“Your party’s very interesting…” you murmur to your husband.

“They’re just excited to be here.”

#holm x reader #holm kranom x reader #holm dungeon meshi x reader #dungeon meshi x reader #delicious in dungeon x reader #nonny.requests.🥝

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jasperhaleobsessed · 9 months

Text

The grumpy cowboy (Twilight Gift Exchange)

Jasper Hale x Female reader (gift for flesh--amnesiac)

Summary: I'm thinking maybe Jasper and the reader have a hate to love relationship? Like maybe Jasper act like he hates the reader but deep down loves her. Like he gets annoyed at things that she does. Like maybe she's what is referred to as a sunshine character. Someone who's always happy and it like irks Jasper to no end instead of making him feel at ease. Maybe he does or says something to her that really cuts deep deep and he doesn't feel bad about it until he realise what he criticized her on was for her family who was life alteringly ill or something.

Notes: Takes place during the first book twilight. I am so sorry if Jasper seems OOC but I'm hoping by the end of it he seems more like the cowboy we all know and love. This is only my second x reader fic so bear with me! I'm not the best with writing angst but I'm gonna try!! :)

Notes for flesh--amnesiac: • 𝙈𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙨 🎄 𝙄 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙞𝙛𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 • 𝙄 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝙔𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 • 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 • 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙖 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙚

Warnings: Some angst but it'll have a sweet ending don't worry! <3

Word count: 3k

Tagging: @flesh--amnesiac and @twilight-secret-gift-exchange

Jasper's POV

My family and I walked into the Cafeteria, as we headed to our usual spot more than a few pairs of eyes landed upon us. We seated ourselves and started to converse. But the conversation wasn't eventful, all we did was some small talk. Today was going to be a long day, I thought glumly. I shifted my focus to my siblings. I noticed that each of them attempted to act as if we were eating but we failed miserably. I gave up long ago trying to act normal. I had heard more than a few ugly rumors about myself and my siblings. I shook that thought away. I gazed back at the food. Human food wasn’t…very good. But this school’s food was worse than the other school’s I’ve been to. Edward even tossed a piece of an apple across our table in disgust. I could feel his uneasiness towards our meals. They all felt disturbed by our food, I couldn't agree more it didn't exactly smell appetizing.

I felt their boredom, they tried to entertain themselves. Edward was focused on Jessica Stanley who was conversing with the new student Isabella Swan. Or Chiefs Swans daughter that many knew little about. But word travels fast, rumors run wild very quickly. I'm sure Jessica will learn a lot about her in a short period of time. That girl loves to talk. Everyone seemed to be curious and intrigued by Isabella just like they were when we arrived in Forks. Suddenly I could feel frustration and anger radiating off of Edward. I decided against asking him, he usually would vocalize these things when he was ready. So I shifted my focus to Alice, she appeared to be having another vision. I wonder what it could be? She was deep in thought, I thought it would be best if I left her alone. I wouldn't want to disturb her while in such a fragile state.

Emmett had his arm around Rosalie, they were both entranced into one another. I could feel the love they had for one another, it radiated brightly. I turned my attention away when I heard a familiar voice.

I looked to the side, getting a small view of who was conversing. I realized that Y/N was talking to the new girl Isabella Swan. She introduced herself “Hi I’m Y/N! It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled warmly at her. I don't understand how she can be so…nice all the time. She held her hand out for Isabella to shake. Isabella looked surprised but took her hand, and shook it gently. “It was a pleasure to meet you as well.” Y/N spoke up and asked “It’s Isabella right?”

“No, I go by Bella.” Isa–Bella I corrected, she looked annoyed. Y/N nodded in understanding.

Bella turned to Jessica and asked, “Who are they?”

Y/N chuckled. “What’s so funny?” Jessica asked.

“Oh nothing.” She turned her attention back to eating her lunch. I think the amount of time Jessica has talked about us Y/N is sick of it.

I didn't particularly like her. We'd never quite gotten along. But some may argue that I never really gave her a chance or anyone for that matter. Most humans avoided us, but I guess what worked out well for me because of their scent. Socializing doesn't work very well due to my lack of control. The thirst for blood was just too much. I felt my throat burn, lunch will be over soon then I can get some fresh air. I need it desperately.

I could feel Emmett conflict as I continued gazed at where she was seated. But he finally got the guts and asked me, "Why do you hate her so much?"

"I don't hate her." He gave me a look. The rest of my siblings turned to look in our direction. Edward tore away from looking at Bella and turned to me. He smirked, he leaned forward listening intently.

"Okay, okay I don't love her but I really don't hate her. She's just annoying and infuriating. And she’s just so…nice it irks me.” I shivered thinking about her.

“It irks you?” Edward questioned.

“Yes, Edward it does.” Emmett boomed with laughter.

After wiping away some fake tears he said,“Uh huh. Suree.” I rolled my eyes at his antics. Rosalie looked amused as Emmett. They were truly made for each other. And Alice looked excited. I could feel her excitement, the question is what did she see?

The bell rang and my siblings and I headed to our next class. My next class just happened to be with Y/N but at least it was History, my favorite subject.

…

Y/N’s POV

I sat down in my usual spot in the classroom, I sat my romance book on the desk and situated myself. My partner wasn’t here today so I was sadly alone for the day but at least I could read. I flipped to my last spot and started to read. I was at the end of the book and it happened to be one of those hallmark books. Yeah I know it's cheesy. But it’s predictable and sweet. I was towards the end where they’d kiss and makeup. My favorite part. I smiled to myself, I felt a blush creep up on my face as the couple were finally leaning in to kiss and then the bell rang. I begrudgingly closed my book and looked up to listen to Mrs.Lewis.

“Today in class, you will be starting a project on the Civil War.” Some of the people in my class groaned while others looked at each other excitingly, hoping to be groupmates or partners.

“But I will be picking partners.” I groaned along with my peers. This was gonna be fun. Maybe it won’t be so bad? I guess I’m just gonna have to be hopeful I’ll get someone I like.

“Now, Once you all will be in pairs together…” She emphasized and then continued. “You will be deciding on a certain event or a certain person that is critical to the Civil War. For example for a certain person you could do a presentation on President Lincoln or a Sergeant even that was critical or played a crucial part in the Civil War. In other words the person or event needs to be influential to what happened in the War. Now if any of you have any questions let me know.” She looked up eyeing the class.

“Right, I almost forgot the project will be on a postboard. You will need four pictures of the event or person. You will need to explain why they were influential, 5 fun facts, a general explanation of the Civil War, and what happened at said event or what your person did.”

I wonder who I’ll be with? I kept thinking this over and over. I was starting to get nervous. I suddenly felt a wave of calmness rush through me. I drifted my eyes from Mrs.Lewis and started to look around the room and met a pair of golden eyes. Jasper Hale was looking at me. Doesn’t he hate me…? At least that’s what it always has seemed like. But you could argue that he dislikes most people at this school. But if he does hate me, why? What'd I do? If he didn’t hate me so much I’d admit he’s kinda cute. Wait what? I turned away quickly trying to forget about that thought.

Mrs.Lewis was calling partners, people were shifting to different seats. I tried to wait patiently but it wasn’t easy. I kept tapping my foot over and over again. And then I heard my name. But it wasn’t what I was expecting. Or who I was expecting to be with.

She called, “Jasper Hale and Y/N L/N.” I didn't move. I stayed still. I was shocked. I wasn't expecting to be his partner.

I just couldn't believe it. I was gonna be partnered with Jasper Hale? We’ve never gotten along. Clearly since he hates my guts.

“Ms.L/N?” Mrs.Lewis called.

“Yes?”

“Did you hear me? Are you going to move?” She asked.

“Right, sorry Mrs.Lewis.” I moved my backpack, book and headed to where Jasper was sitting. He tended to sit in the back, he was always very quiet. He also had a habit of glaring at people and seemed to be in pain. I don't know how to explain it, it just always seems angry. I don't know what his problem is. Hmm maybe he has a good reason or there's more than what meets the eye. I hope I'm wrong. I don't want him to hate me, I don't want anyone to hate me.

She nodded curtly. And I positioned myself in my seat.

I focused my attention back to Jasper. I turned towards him and asked “So how do you want to do this?” I asked.

“Do what?” He asked.

“Umm…how do you want to split up the work and what event or person do you want to do the Civil War on?” I asked, for some reason I felt kinda awkward.

He looked deep in thought, “We could do it on Abraham Lincoln. That shouldn't be too difficult.”

“Okay.” I felt bored. I don't think this is gonna be a fun project. I looked down staring at my paper. While I was shocked Jasper grabbed our papers for the assignment. I think the paper had something to do with the research. It was supposed to guide us?

“Am I boring you?”

“What?!” I felt my cheeks flush.

“N-no! I'm just unsure how to feel about the project that's all. I-it's not you.”

He leaned forward, “So it's the it's not you its me line, huh?” He joked. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile. His smile was beautiful like an angel. It may be silly or cheesy but it really did.

“Nooo… okay maybe a little.” I felt a bit embarrassed. I rubbed the back of my neck. My cheeks once again flushed. So I decided to distract myself by grabbing a history book from my desk. I grabbed a pencil and started to write down some notes for the project.

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking at me carefully.

I turned back to look at him and said, “Umm…writing down some notes for the project?”

“You sound unsure.” He observed.

I take a deep breath and say what’s been nagging at me this whole time. “Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you that was so awful? Why do you stare at me with daggers in your eyes?” I feel anger course through me.

“Why do you care? You’re as bad as everyone at this school, in this town. You're all the same.” He said carelessly. He looked so angry. Rageful. His eyes were dark, coal back. I’ve never seen someone look this angry. It scared me. But then my anger rushed back, the nerve of this man. He knows nothing. I try to be kind, nice, good, and true. I’m not perfect but I’ve never said anything bad about him. Or about anyone. I try to be nice to him and to everyone for that matter. I am not always perfect. I may mess up and get angry but I’ve never treated him or anyone like this. I’ve never assumed that everyone is the same because they’re not! We’re all unique individuals with our own amazing qualities. But then the sadness rushed in me, I felt tears spring in my eyes. Why does he have to be so cruel and so cute? The bell had perfect timing, it rang and I left as fast as I could.

…

Jasper’s POV

I could feel her anger from miles away. Who you may ask? My pixie of a sister. Alice. She’s angry, to put it lightly. My siblings wanted to know what was wrong. But neither of us would budge. I’m sure Edward tried to read her mind but she blocked him out. I only know this because he looked frustrated. When we got home she berated me. Everyone was staring.

“What is wrong with you?!” She questioned.

“What do you mean what’s wrong with me?” I asked.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You're gonna let her get away? She’s your mate! You love her! Anyone would say she's literally a ball of sunshine!” She yelled. I’d never seen her so angry. It was unlike her. I tried to send calming waves through her but that only made her angrier. She pointed a finger towards me, “Do not try to calm me down! I am not done! And I will not stop until you see reason!”

She continued by saying, “You thought it'd be a good idea to break her cute little heart? She cares about you Jasper, flaws and all. So go get her. Hold her tight and don’t let her go because she's a keeper, alright!” I stared at her blankly. She took a deep breath, “I know that your are most likely scared anyone would be–”

“Except for ME!” Emmett yelled. Rosalie slapped his head. “Aw!” He yelled again. Everyone watched and listened intently.

“Anyways, I know you're scared but don’t push her away, you need her. And I know you assume the worst because you’ve all you’ve known but some humans can be truly good. Think about it. Please.” She pleaded.

“I will.” I say calmly.

She pointed her small finger at me again, “You better mister or you’ll be in a lot of trouble.” She said with some sass in her voice. I scoffed at her jokingly of course.

I decided to get some fresh air, I needed to think.

When I first met her or saw her it did irk me with how much she could be kind or nice. But as time went on her kindness and sunshine felt pleasing. Most humans especially when they’re teenagers emotions are everywhere and that means it can be a lot. It can be suffocating at times. But when I felt Y/N’s emotions it was like a breath of fresh air. It felt good after so long of so many suffocating emotions. But it did take a while before it felt like this. For the first year I had met her I really did dislike her and how she acted irked me. It rubbed me the wrong way. Then I realized I didn’t hate her, I loved her. She was so kind, so sincere, so true and I didn’t want to take that away. So I avoided her, I kept telling myself I hated her with every fiber of my being. But it just isn’t true. Even though I knew she was kind I did feel a bit wary of her because most people in this High School weren’t exactly the most sincere. And then I convinced myself she was just like everybody else. It would be easier this way, I wouldn’t hurt her. I wouldn’t harm her. I honestly don’t know why I said what I did. Maybe in a way it was me trying to protect myself from harm or maybe it was the fact I wanted to protect her from me. I think I’m scared of hurting her.

The look in her eyes broke my heart. The way her eyes were glossy from tears ready to spill out of her eyes was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Alice thought she needed to snap some sense in me but she didn’t. I already knew. I could already feel it. I could feel her heartbreak, her anger towards me. But I can’t leave her like that. I have to do something. I won’t leave the person I love most hurt so deeply. I have to mend her broken heart, I have to mend my broken heart too. I love her too much to leave her in the state she is. I remember the way it felt when her heart broke into a million pieces. I felt her anger. I could imagine her saying “How dare he?” ‘Why would he think that?” I say how she essentially ran out of the classroom because of the pain I’d caused her. I felt her fear, I wanted her to feel safe with me. But first I need to hunt quickly and I know something for certain. I will do something about this. I vow to never cause her such pain again.

…

Y/N’s POV

I felt like my heart was broken into a million pieces and was trampled on. I was currently laying in my soft, comfy bed surrounded by my favorite stuffed animals alongside my trusty tub of ice cream. I also was playing soft music in the background. I felt tears stream down my face, I snuggled closer to my stuffed animals. I know it may be childish but I need all the comfort I can get. So who cares!

I couldn’t help but think of the times when I saw Jasper help a fellow classmate or when he helped one of the teachers. Many including myself thought at times he seemed cold but that wasn’t it was it? I’m sure what’s going on with me but I don't think he is what meets the eye. But at the same time that can’t be true he literally just looked at me with such hatred. Now, I don’t know what to think. Maybe he isn’t as good as I thought. I hope I’m wrong. I turned over and closed my eyes. But just as I started to doze my mom yelled, “Y/N! You have a visitor!” A visitor? Who’s coming to visit me? What’s going on? I moved from my bed practically running down the stairs. I kept thinking who it could be. I was not expecting him to be here. I was shocked. My mom said with a small smile “I’ll leave you too alone.”

It was Jasper. He was here! He was wearing a black suit which, funny enough, suited him well. He looked very gentleman-like and handsome. I couldn’t help but blush looking down. I had almost forgotten what had happened. But it hit me like a rock. He said some pretty cruel things. And scared me half to death while doing it. I looked up at his honey golden eyes, “Why are you here?” I asked quietly. I wasn’t sure what to feel. I was unsure. But a question kept popping in my head, Why is he here? What does he want?

He spoke up and said, “I came here to apologize, I should have said what I did. It was wrong. You aren’t like everyone and perhaps everyone else isn’t so bad either. You truly are an amazing person and I am so lucky to have met you. You're so warm, so kind, nice, sweet, sincere, loyal, and true. If you can accept me for what I am, flaws and all, then I’d be the happiest man on earth.” I gasped. No man, no guy, no boy had ever said anything like this to me before.

And I could see it in his eyes. He meant it, he loved me too. He truly cared and I hadn’t felt that in a long time. I felt tears fall out of my eyes. And I hugged him and he spun me around. I had never felt this happy, this joyous.

“Of course, I forgive you! You’d be too hard not to be such a gentleman!” I let out a giggle. He wipes out my remaining tears. He speaks up again, “I have one more surprise.” He pulls out a bouquet of Gardenia. It could mean, “Purity and sweetness and they can indicate a secret love or crush. They give joy and if given you are telling the recipient you think they are lovely.” It’s funny I just read this the other day. This man is full of surprises but amazing ones.

“I love you Jasper Hale.” He smiles, “I love you too Y/N L/N too.” He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips.

The End

#twilight #twilight saga #the twilight saga #jasper hale #jasper whitlock #jasper cullen #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale x y/n #twilight x reader #twilight x y/n #twilight x you #twilight fanfiction #twilight fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #my fanfic #my fanfiction

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unhetalia · 5 months

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England headcanons (pt. 1):

Chain-smokes like a motherfucker. Alfred, who doesn't smoke and pretends very hard to think smoking is disgusting, hasn't yet realised where his secret smoking kink comes from.

Currently works for British Intelligence/has infiltrated his own government.

Carries around either a cane or umbrella that hides a sword even though he has never ONCE had to use it. He just feels more comfortable having a sword. (He does also carry around a gun, which, in contrast, has been used often.)

Also carries around his own pen, and absolutely loathes the thought of using someone else's. The pen is a first edition Michel Perchin Serpent in Champagne LE Fountain Pen given to him by Alfred - only ten were ever made and it cost a cool 8k. While Arthur has more valuable things - especially from his time as a pirate and back when he personally knew his royal family - the pen is still one of his most prized possessions.

His favourite tea is actually French Earl Grey - which is Earl Grey with rose petals. Not actually French? But Arthur's still pretty annoyed about it.

As mentioned in a few of my other posts - Arthur is incredibly physical and has kept up with sword fighting and various martial arts over the years, and regularly goes to the gym. He's very disciplined about it.

Tends to eat only for fuel as opposed to enjoyment whenever he's left to his own devices.

If pressed, Arthur will admit his best friend is Francis. Francis would say the same about Arthur.

(Despite their individual body counts, Francis and Arthur have never slept with each other.)

(Arthur doesn't have a lot of friends and has a strained relationship with his siblings, and has always felt that people don't like spending time with him. Even when he was on top of the world, working with his government to become an Empire, he still felt like an underdog.)

On that note, Arthur worked with his government longer than the other Nations, and was a huge part of establishing the British Empire. It made his already fraught relationship with his siblings even worse, and he regrets a lot of it.

Nations get scars very rarely, because very few things have the ability to give them scars - magical weapons is one of those things. Out of all the Nations, England has the most scars.

England is amazing at knitting and crochet, and he gifts Francis crocheted figurines from French cartoons for his birthday every year, which Francis adores. He also knits Canada scarves and gloves and beanies whenever he remembers him.

One of Arthur's most embarrassing memories is getting gonorrhea during his pirate days. He didn't have sex for a month after his healing kicked in - a record back then - and he became a lot more diligent in procuring and using the linen sheaths they used as condoms at the time.

Three of Arthur's back molars are implants made of real gold.

Alfred is the first (and last) person Arthur will say he's ever fallen in love with BUT the closest he's come is with another American - a nurse that took care of him during World War I. She was blonde and blue eyed and once shouted Arthur down when he insisted on continuing to fight even with a bullet lodged in his shoulder. She completely disappeared in April 1917, just before the Americans officially joined the war. He sometimes wonders what happened to her.

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junkbbykow · 2 years

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𝒴❁𝒰’𝑅𝐸 𝒯𝐻𝒜𝒯 𝐵𝐼𝒯𝒞𝐻 - 𝒫𝒜𝒞

I’m gonna help y’all remember who you are and get to the nitty gritty of YOUR baddie energy <3 My latest PAC is here!

Omg guys! Thank y’all for 50 followers. As a special treat and thanks I’m going to be offering one of my paid readings in PAC form! Remember this is general, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!

Pick a Picture below! 1,2,3

Pile 1 - The Powerhouse

Remember Who You Are - What comes naturally

Well sheesh pile one. You take no sh*t and no prisoners. You say what you have to say and mean it. You’re incredibly fair and also generous. You help those who are deserving but keep your energy safe and locked away. I see you might also be a defender of some sorts. You keep anything that doesn’t serve you at bay and keep it pushing. Literally giving toxic energies a face of disgust. Y’all are not here for it. You’re a leader and philanthropist. You help others and share your resources with equity to those in need of your gifts but also yourself. You have great boundaries and keep sh*t in check. Nobody crosses you, your (chosen) family, and the abundance you create for yourself. You have wealth and high standards. You’re simply better than some people AND THAT IS OKAY. Don’t let it get to your head lol. One persons guides coming through heavy so maybe connect with your ancestors, guides, spirit and listen to your dreams

Divine Messages

Lmao don’t do too much for family. You live them deeply but don’t be afraid to say no, ask for reciprocation or just restate your boundaries. I feel like y’all can get down from being in this maternal/paternal energy but someone(s) are going to make this better and give back to you the way you give to them. Don’t overextended your abundance. The goal is to build generational wealth that exists beyond this lifetime. Maybe some of y’all have a younger brother or sibling. Keep them in your prayers and manifestations they may be dealing with some emotions they haven’t learned to express. Open yourself up to them and be a light in their life. A strong message here is to stop overburdening yourself. Yes, you are capable but EVERYONE has their limits and you need to start making that clear for those around you our spirit will do it on your behalf. Your skills are needed for much more than this present moment. Be wary of running yourself ragged trying to be everything to everybody. PROTECT your abundance and nurture it. Don’t just hand it out willy nilly. You deserve your abundance and spirit sends it your way for you. Treat yourself but more importantly INVEST IN YOURSELF!!!! Somethings (people, places, habits) need to be let go of with the quickness.

The beauty others see in you

People see you as a forever student. You are always learning new skills, adapting, and leveling up your life. I feel like if someone needs help researching or has an oddball question you’re the person for the job. People think the world is your oyster. Nothing can stop you and honestly who would dare with the energy you were presenting earlier. Before I saw you as fierce and cut to the chase, but people close to you see this youthful, creative, and joyous person who is eternally optimistic even when they have their moments. Whether their in your life, in the future, or speaking from the other side, your (chosen/soul) family LOVES YOU. They also see you as some sort of traveler. With a simple yet cute sense of style. Comfy but in the most fashionable way possible. You are also EXTREMELY beautiful. TW nudity/Sexual attraction On a more general sense I think a lot of people want to see you naked. In the most natural way possible. Whatever insecurities you have people don’t care they want to see you hair, bumps, acne, rolls and all.

How your destined person sees you

They see you as lost? Lmao not what I expected. You can be hard headed sometimes (me too) and they love this about you don’t get them wrong but that’s one of the big things they see in you. Your a crazy kid with wild ideas and you sure as hell are not gonna let anything stop you. You’re tough and but also very soft. You’re new to this (dating). Or maybe you’ve never actually experienced love and this person will be that to you. When they say lost you’re not codependent or struggling your just an extremely go with flow, take all the punches kinda person. They recognize y’all as meant to be. There is nobody else who matches them as perfectly as you. There’s just you. Nobody they could dream up would be as perfect and as exquisite as you. There words not mine 🥹

How to embody these attributes & utilize your gifts

Recognize that you are going through something. You have been left feeling helpless, alone, and defeated. That is okay. It happens. You don’t have to pick yourself up this very millisecond. I know you’re a determined individual who moves towards their goals at the speed of light but you need to reconnect woth your soul energy. Plain and simple. That means inmer child work, root chakra healing, physical therapy. Feed your soul the best way you know how. One step at a time. You got this. Get off social media. I also feel like you’re defensive right now. But there isn’t anything that needs defending. Nobody is taking your spot. There is only you. That’s it. So just rest, please. Everything will be here when you’re feeling better. Promise. Also stop fighting. Whatever that means to you. Chill out and let things pass. I’m picking up on a family scenario. Also stop telling people your grand plans. There energy is getting all mixed in with your projects. Also stop giving away every dime you have. Save. Buy yourself something nice okay. Not every part of you is meant to be given to others.

How to Honor Yourself Daily

Listen to your emotions. Release the hustle energy and breathe. Be playful, act goofy, make dumb choices. They’ll lead you somewhere unexpected. Ofc be safe but have FUN. Acknowledge how you’re feeling daily and show up for yourself by nurturing that aspect of you. Come to terms with your emotions and validate them. Also be creative, study, read, you enjoy acquiring knowledge, so do that. This is not the time for others. It’s the time for you and you only.

Tidbits: New York, College, Professor/educator, These boots are made for walking, children, laughing, music to my ears, water, mermaid, art, study, books, color, sun, 5, wand, fire, galaxy, 2, earth, wings, mother, familiar

I hope you enjoyed your reading! I appreciate all likes, reblogs, and feedback! Please visit my masterlist for more PACS, Ask Games, Paid Readings and more!

Pile 2 - The Nurtuer

Remember Who You Are - What Comes Naturally

Y’all are naturally kind in this pile. You let things come to you. You’re not a chaser and you have a very relaxed energy. I see you as someone who awaits every new day with adventure. You teach people patience and forgiveness. Your heart is so warm. And you make yourself a safe haven for those who need it but also yourself. Taurus energy???? You are very good at processing and understanding your emotions while remaining grounded in reality. You balance feelings and logic and respect how one does not exist without the other. You are wise beyond your years without even doing anything. It’s inate to who you are. You see a lot of beauty in the world and love nature. You seek adventure but not in a chaotic way. You truly appreciate life itself the mundane and the extraordinary. What you find beauty in is unique. Career isn’t really your focus or where you find happiness or fulfillment. You’re giving homemaker vibes. So if you’re struggling in career how can you comfort others and make their lives more comfortable. Your energy is calm. The fast life is not for you. It’s okay to dream small. I know everyone is saying make a name for yourself but maybe you just want to live in a cottage somewhere and grow fruits. That’s valid.

Divine Messages

I feel like y’all have your sh*t together lmao. You’re creating the life you want for yourself and disregarding the status quo. This might have been a new revelation. You’re leaving behind this need to be someone your not. I feel like your journey here is to nurture yourself and live a good and chill life. A new day is shining on you. I feel like some of you might not agree with this, but maybe question why you want your goals and what do you REALLY want. A tough lesson may be coming towards you. I feel this is more on a spiritual/mental level for a majority of the group. I don’t know if spirit is going to give me all the details. There might be a man in your life who is ending a cycle in your life and you will have to leave them behind. A death of some sorts is coming.

The Beauty Others see in You

Okay so people can see that you are fair, generous, and just. They also see you as a protector. A mother hen of sorts. Also you’re here to guide people. That’s a part of your life plan. People see that you can nurture things from start to finish. You complete your goals and are very orderly. People aspire to be as well put together as they see you being. Like I said, you’re a homemaker of some sorts and people love to be in your energy, room, home, ect. You make it a nice and comforting place to be and you accommodate guests very well. You’re sociable but independent and people recognize that. You’re the #1 host and gathering spot. You are very magical and people see you as a creator. Like you manifest, manipulate, and transmute like crazy!!!! You get what you want and reach your desires by any means. I know you might be tired of hearing this but you’re very strong. You keep your inner world in shape so that it can reflect out into your universe. You stay optimistic by balancing your understanding of your external and internal realities. I feel like this part was from spirit because it was so introspective.

How your Destined Person Sees You

You are illusive. You’re so mysterious. Everyday there is something new with you, another layer. (very sweet energy 🥹) They probably enjoy late nights with you. Being your partner is a CONSTANT adventure. Late night drives, traveling through the woods, you’re literally a witch/spiritual asf and that is new to them 😭. I feel like they see you like in a coven late at night dancing around a fire naked with your friends. And it wouldn’t be surprising to catch you like that. They might want to be apart of your witchy endeavors don’t be afraid to let them take part and share this part of yourself. With all that adventure they also see you as mature and respectable (you got layerrrsss). But in all of this they don’t think you understand how amazing, beautiful, and luxurious you are. You are so special and unique. You spend a lot of time worrying and anxious and they really just want to take care of all of it for you. They will do everything in their power to affirm you day to day. They want you to be the star that you truly are. Unstoppable.

How to embody these attributes & utilize your gifts

Focus on yourself. You’ve spent so much of your life catering to others and it’s time to invest in you and you alone. Some of the people you’ve been helping, leave them behind. They may seem hurt with your decision but tbh it doesn’t compare to the weight/burden they are in your life. You’re put together so these people don’t respect your emotions because your not trying to get attention for your pain or make everyone feel what you’re feeling. You carry yourself and your own responsibilities and these people just can’t accept that their problems are not your issue. Friends support one another, they do not do the work for each other. Be youthful again, leave seriousness behind. Life is a joke and that’s okay. And it’s okay to be alone for a little bit. Love you babes 💕 Taking this time alone leads you to a whole new world, I promise.

How to Honor Yourself Daily

Just getting out of bed is enough. To get water, eat, shower, turn on the tv, I don’t care. These people who have left your life or about to honestly left you in shambles. I think you were better off before them and now you’re trying to rekindle who you used to be with the knowledge and the maturity you now posses and that’s honorable. But rest first. There are so many day in a lifetime and it is okay to sit down and rest. Tomorrow is promised so please release all those burdens these people left behind. Also cry, throw tantrums, and reconcile with who you truly are. I think someone is coming in and offering you abundance. If not someone something. You be fulfilled and content just rest baby 🛌 Also stop giving people gifts rn. I’ve said this like three times in this pile but genuinely you have to stop 😅

Tidbits: death, hermit, nature, creek, wildflowers, pastels, harmony, gardening, trail, forest. star, night, giggles, silence, nobody else but us, freedom, fresh air, cozy, sleep, blankets, hot chocolate

I hope you enjoyed your reading! I appreciate all likes, reblogs, and feedback! Please visit my masterlist for more PACS, Ask Games, Paid Readings and more!

Pile 3 - The Trailblazer

Remember Who You Are - What Comes Naturally

You are constantly striving for internal growth. You also love to dress up and be creative. You may like to use ‘odd’ things as accessories or pick up flowers and put them in your hair. Your a benevolent leader who encourages others and yourself to come out of your shell. You walk in a room and turn heads. Not only are you beautiful but incredibly unique and you express that outwardly. People often ‘don’t know what to do with you’ you don’t fit into any molds (so stop trying) You make your own lanes and you innovate. Heavy influence from earth and air here. Please get out in nature. It’s your home. Also connect with water! You are often uncertain which comes with the territory of being so unique. You fit so many roles. You might have felt akin to all three piles for certain reasons. So much lies beneath the surface that even you have yet to find. Even when uncertain you trail ahead at full speed and don’t fear the consequences because you are righteous (with good reason) Your ancestors/spirit/guides entrust you with great responsibilities. Listen to them because your connection to them is so innate and pure. Like fresh water (I just saw a drop of water drip into still water maybe your actions this lifetime will have a great ripple effect for generations) This can be scary but don’t worry your protected and will find your way. No need to rush or overthink it. Literally just be you <3

Divine Messages

I think you’re going through a rebirth right now. Visit pile 2 if you felt called to it. I feel like you are only seeing the negative or refusing to be patient. Chill out for a second you need time. You just came out of something you need to redefine yourself and truly connect with your essence. Let your worries fall away. Your restless during your time of rest which is counterproductive. Let the ‘abundance’ of your last cycle be cleared so that the absolute monstrosity of wealth and opulence can come through. Leave social media alone. Especially if you’re watching other people be successful and so on. It’s not your time yet and that’s okay but your not in the headspace to be happy for other’s success right now so get off Tik Tok lmao 😅.

The Beauty Others See in You

Y’all reflect back to others what they wish to see in themselves. Parts that are missing or have been lost over time come up in you or your relationship to you. A true shapeshifter. Be wary of this because you don’t want to have a mask on in every relationship. Be you. You are everything all at once. You embody so many attributes, desires, goals. All of it is so much and can be overwhelming at time but it’s truly beautiful to see. Coming across someone as unique as you, Pile 3, is rare. Know that. Not everyone with a pretty face and interesting surface is worth your time. You stick to your roots and who you are regardless of what the crowd is saying. They aren’t you and subscribing to that lifestyle isn’t you either.

How Your Destined Person Sees You

This is a destined connection. Also it’s giving queer! They might see you as tomboyish or a very strong balance of femme and masculine. If you’re non-binary your partner loves this about you don’t worry. They also see you as a muse. Your body, personality, and the way you think inspires them. Your constantly transforming and that is a great place to draw inspiration. They either want to provide for you or truly see this connection that will bear fruit from its labor! Very sweet and genuine energy here. You redefine family for them. All the doubts they had about building one are swept away after meeting you. They see you as someone who can build a family and generational wealth together. Go you!

How to Embody these Attributes & Utilize Your Gifts

Be confident or find confidence within yourself on many levels. Be confident in your work, studies, appearance, and so on. Also, fall in love? I think this is from your destined partner embody your strength and radiate that energy so you can signal to them that your ready and here. Idk I feel like this pile knows who they are and already embodies their gifts good on y’all but also check the other piles if you felt drawn to them.

How to Honor Yourself Daily

Ignore illusions. People may try to rush you, make you feel insignificant but it’s not true. You have true power and you yield it with kindness. You are a star don’t let others highlight your misfortunes and mistakes. Let go if things not going according to plan and look for the next opportunity. Also stop taking people’s BS. Like it’s tired. Put your foot down and focus on your own growth and practices. Take back what is yours.

Surprises are on their way to you. That’s why your reading was so quick to the point

Tidbits: 8h, pluto, soul, transformation, apple, snake, 222, 333, cloud, 9, creation, crown, fire, tower, iPad

I hope you enjoyed your reading! I appreciate all likes, reblogs, and feedback! Please visit my masterlist for more PACS, Ask Games, Paid Readings and more!

Your other songs are Long Time - Intro, Playboy Carti & NVR MET, CMNT Glitch Gum Also Never Ending, Rihanna

Remember, you’re that b*txh!

xoxo,

Junkbby Kow

#Spotify #intuition #healing #spirit guidance #tarot pac #pick a number #pick a picture #pick a card #hollywood #Junkbby Kow #paid readings #tarot messages #tarot reader #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #eartha kitt

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echantedtoon · 5 months

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KNY Swap Au Ramblings

I've seen a lot of others make their own versions of a swap au and I wanted to create one too just for fun. None of this is cannon, and not everyone will be swapped out and it'll have my own twists on things. And have some things added for new story elements.

Most of the role swaps I've seen are usually with either Sanemi and Genya or Gyutaro and Ume replacing Nezuko and Tanjiro. Or the rolls are swapped with Tanjiro being the demon instead(personally my favorite interpretation of this is by @yuramec). But for this I'm swapping out the Kamado Siblings for the Tokito Twins. I won't go into depth about everyone but I will give important differences to the story.

WARNINGS: Mentioning of killing, death, lose of a child, etc.

EDIT: If you don't agree with any of the placements or head cannons that's fine. This is only my take on things.

PROLOGUE:

I'm swapping out Muzan for Kagaya for this purpose. Most of the story remains the same as it did in cannon with Muzan. Kagaya is born deathly ill, he's given the medicine made with the blue spider lily, however instead of killing said doctor out of anger Kagaya is completely overjoyed and taken by the doctor's success. He wants to make MORE medicine. He wants to give this to MORE people like himself! At first the doctor accepts this. He's excited for the success of his medical treatment. However something isn't right.

Kagaya is twisted by the medicine and it's effects on his body. He begins to crave human flesh as Cannon Muzan (who I will refer to as CM), however he sees it as a greater mercy to the masses. Why live such miserable lives when you can join him? Be a part of him? Death is a mercy. Life isn't. The doctor is appalled at the way the medicine twisted Kagaya into a far worse person. (His mindset would be a similar one to Cannon Douma. Seeing it as a mercy or better fate to become a part of something bigger for the greater good overall not really seeing his twisted thinking is only harming hundreds of others and not really caring believing the end goal is worth all the bloodshed to get there.) In a fit of frustration, he attempts to turn the doctor into a demon in order to force him to make more medicine after the doctor refuses to do anymore research disgusted by the results, however as he was still fairly new to making other demons, the doctor instead dies from the infected blood. Frustrated Kagaya attempts to make the next hundreds of years perfecting his technique and turning people into demons as 'sharing his gift'. The first few demons was his beloved wife Amane and their five children.

He attempted to turn the rest of his family into demons too but that did not go so well. (Apparently it's cannon that Kagaya used to have two younger brothers). As with the doctor his youngest brother's body didn't react to him changing and Kagaya accidentally ended up killing his youngest brother. His other younger brother and their father fled and went into hiding. His father later blamed himself heavily for all of the evil Kagaya does and takes his own life. Kagaya's brother later goes on to create the demon slayer corp in search of a way to stop him. Later down the line the Ubuyashiki name is lost and replaced by the last name Kibutsuji, their bloodline cursed due to creating the first demon progenitor.

KAGAYA UBUYASHIKI AND FAMILY AS DEMONS:

He sees his demons as 'beloved children' and as such sees what they do (eating humans, killing, etc) as nothing wrong and only as a means for survival and to spread his 'gift.' Don't underestimate him however. He may not rule by fear but his voice and mind is able to manipulate and soothe most demons into submission, and he is not afraid to use force if needed. Amane and their demon children are the ones that he allows to eat disobedient demons if they're hungry and he does so with a warm smile on his face. It puts the fear into anyone who sees it if they aren't already loyally following him. He is also crazily strong physically and mentally.

Desperately looking for both the blue spider lily and the Kibutsuji family. He doesn't want to kill Muzan and his family per say. Merely to put a endless mercy to his beloved little brother's family's torment and free his own 'children' from theirs. Whether it be by turning them or by 'sending them to heaven' he hasn't decided yet. Created the Infinity Castle as a safe haven for his newly turned family and any demon deciding to live there.

Amane is his beloved spouse and is actually the one who controls the Infinity Castle in place of Nakime, and constantly rotates it keeping track of their children. She usually just blinks and any demon her husband wants is immediately teleported to them. Their children are absolutely NOT allowed to leave the Infinity Castle. AT ALL.

He created the twelve Kizuki as a way to reward his most obedient 'children' and as extra protection for himself and his family. The lower three moons are usually killed off not by him but usually by Sanemi in anger or by slayers. Otherwise he has no problem with how the Kizuki interact. Although his favorite is Yoriichi who happens to be Upper Moon One, and his most loyal and powerful demon. He usually doesn't have any trouble blending into society Thanks to his personality but he still eats, kills, and makes demons.

UPPER MOON ONE YORIICHI:

This one's sorta obvious but also an idea I haven't seen explored too often also he's not as OP as he is in cannon. Essentially everything proceeds to happen with Yoriichi the same as in cannon. I mean everything is the same except for Uta's death. As Yoriichi is late to getting back to Uta and their unborn child, Uta unexpectedly went into early labor losing the child and her own life due to complications. Unfortunately Yoriichi arrived a little too late and was devastated by the discovery of his family, but as the causes of death was natural instead of by the hands of a demon, Yoriichi does not develop the hatred for demons he has within the normal timeline. Yoriichi still buries Uta in the mountains where the blue spider lily grows unknown to everyone, and leaves to wonder aimlessly until coming across one of the strongest demon slayers at the time battling a powerful demon. Being the kind person he is Yoriichi helps him with his own sword skills where afterwards the slayer is impressed with Yoriichi's skills and invites him to join the corps. Without the drive of hatred for demons, Yoriichi decides to join instead for a desire to help others and a place of belongings. From there everything also continues as in cannon. Yoriichi meets Tanjiro's ancestors saving them from a demon and becoming good enough friends to teach the Hinakami Kagura dance, and gifts them his earrings as a keepsake. He still comes across Michikatsu and everything continues as it was.

Michikatsu's own story proceeds the same without much change. His entire backstory up to this point does not change in the slightest. His pride, his jealousy, his drive. All of it remains the same. The only real difference is when Yoriichi and Kagaya happens to accidentally come across face to face.

Because of the real driving hatred of demons Yoriichi would've previously had, and Kagaya's own nature, it would inevitably end up differently. Kagaya's compliments of his strength and the genuinity of his compliments and kindness has Yoriichi confused. He was different than all the regular blood thirsty demons that he usually killed, so why was this so.. Different. His hesitation and confusion leaves Kagaya with an opening to explain himself and to explain his twisted 'help' and Yoriichi finds himself entranced. Kagaya's talks leads the two to genuinely bond over their own personal losses and lives and Yoriichi finds himself oddly at peace listening to the Demon King's words. What if he was right? What if this new medicine could've prevented Uta from dying and had made it possible for their child to survive? What if his mother could've also been spared such a tragic fate? What if this entire tragedy could've been prevented?

Kagaya genuinely likes Yoriichi's personality and genuine drive of the same goals he has. Sure he manipulates him a little bit but in the end it's 'for the greater good for everyone'. So when he offers the haishira his blood, Yoriichi only needs a few minutes to think it over before accepting. Yoriichi as Upper Moon One is stoic, distant. Barely speaks. Somewhat twisted by the blood in his veins. He's been rejected and cast aside for so long and been dealt so much grief that it was easy for him to follow Kagaya. He has a place now, with a purpose. A GOOD purpose. He loves playing with the Ubuyashiki quintuplets and gets along with most of the other Kizuki, although during his long reign as a demon he's become numb to most feelings making him a ruthless asset on the battle field for Kagaya's purpose.

His one regret is Michikatsu.

Michikatsu's reaction to his brother ascension to a demon was rather mixed to say the least. He's angry. Enraged that his brother had not only gotten stronger, but was just handed that power essentially without even working for it as he had. (Context for that see @lavenderdrxp's character analysis of Kokushibo/Michikatsu's work ethics and character drive for this next bit.) Not to be out done, not to be bested by his brother anymore, not to allow his work to be undermined- He rejects Yoriichi's offer to join him in serving Kagaya disgusted by the thought of joining only to never surpass him for eternity and have the proof constantly living with him. So he rejects Yoriichi's offer, opting to try and kill his brother instead. It ends with Yoriichi killing his brother in battle. The death of his (for now) only remaining family member drives Yoriichi further into his emotionless state.

His prized possession is the flute Michikatsu gifted him which he carries with him. He fights using his sun breathing techniques and making six swords with his arms. After being changed into a demon, Yoriichi's body suffered some permanent damage from the side effects of Kagaya having problems creating demons. To make up for this, Kagaya gifted him six arms to replicate the movements he once originally had. In similarity to Yoriichi Type Zero.

UPPER MOON TWO GYOMEI:

Most powerful Haishira becomes second most powerful demon. Gyomei runs a (cult-) refuge in the same way Cannon Douma does, the only difference is that he actually believes what he teaches, deeply believes in Kagaya, and believes sending the helpless people that flock to him to 'Eternal Paradise' actually helps them and spares them from their tragic lives.

He fights using stone manipulation demon arts similar to Cannon Douma's ice manipulation abilities.

UPPER MOON THREE MITSURI:

Not much to say about upper three. She's very strong and flexible and uses the strength to claw her way up the ranks to just under Gyomei who she couldn't bring herself to challenge because he's too nice to fight for Upper Two. She was changed after running away from home and striking a friendship with a snake demon. Obanai changed Mitsuri out of greed and selfishness. Mitsuri clawed her way up the ranks because she heard that she could get more attention from demons and slayers if she was an upper rank. Originally joined Upper Ranks looking for a husband.... Obanai is still sitting in the sidelines trying to get her attention back on him.

Her demon arts are similar to Akaza's that she fights using physical strength and reflexes, but she can also use a charming affect to lure in prey.

UPPER MOON FOUR SANEMI:

Scary. Very, very, VERY scary. But also very protective of his younger demon brother Genya whom doesn't remember his life before becoming a demon. Sanemi and Genya were the only survivors after their own mother was turned into a demon and slaughtered their own family. Their entire life was pretty much the same until Sanemi just so happened to run into the demon king Kagaya. The king felt sorry for the two brothers and forcibly turned them both so neither could be separated again. Sanemi doesn't remember much of his human life except for the love and protectiveness he feels for his brother. Extremely loyal to Kagaya and and hot tempered. Physically wrestled Tengen out of Upper Four and wouldn't let him go until he agreed to give him the placement of Upper Moon four. The only two people who he'll listen to is Kagaya and Gyomei. Although he respects Kanae. Constantly starting fights with the lower moons and weeding out the ones he doesn't think is worthy no matter how much Kagaya and Gyomei scold him.

He uses Air blood demon arts in a similar fashion to Karaku.

UPPER MOON FIVE TENGEN:

Not much to say about him. Kagaya found him depressed after leaving his father and remaining brother after being forced to fight to the death with his other siblings. It did not take much convincing to change him. Demon Tengen changed his three wives and forcibly changed his best friend Rengoku. Is scared of Sanemi after the air demon physically held him down and forced him to give up his previous place as Upper Moon Three. Best friends with Rengoku.

Tengen fights in both numbers with his wives in ambush style attacks and by sound baced demon arts such as Urogi's screech abilities and using sounds to distract, destroy, or decoy his enemies.

UPPER MOON SIX RENGOKU:

Not much to say about this demon. He was actually forcibly turned by Tengen and doesn't remember too much about his previous life although he has glimpses of a woman who's kind with red eyes and a little flamed haired boy that looks like him sorta. Much of Rengokus positive attitude is still present but as a demon it's toxic positivity only contributing to Kagaya's toxic 'merciful' agenda. He currently is content with his place as Upper Five and gets along with most of the others. Although he has to stop Sanemi and Tengen from fighting a lot as Tengen likes to tease others.

His blood demon arts is fire based which is why he usually doesn't leave shelter if it rains or go places where water is present. Making his abilities limited.

DEMON KANAE AND SHINOBU:

The real powerful demon is Kanae who shares it with her sister Shinobu. To be honest no one is really sure where they came from or how Lord Kagaya found them. He just introduced the demonic butterfly duo one day to the rest of the Kizuki and placed them in with the others. Kanae is the much kinder of the two sisters and believes that not all slayers are bad. Shinobu heavily disagrees with that sentiment and prefers to poison her victims slowly with a smile. The sisters have two younger butterfly demons, Aoi and Kanao, and together the four of them run a laboratory for Lord Kagaya in his research of his specialized blood. They also have three small helper girls that they took in out of pity. The three butterfly girls often can be found playing with the Ubuyashiki quintuplets in the Infinity Castle.

Similar to how Cannon Nakime didn't have an official number in the Kizuki ranks despite considered a part of it, the sisters are considered part of the official Kizuki despite having an official number. It's rare that they are in fights usually spending their time doing research, but the sisters can use flying attacks, poison, flying petals sharp enough to be blades.

LOWER MOON ONE GIYUU:

Like the sisters, not much is known about where the most powerful Lower Moon originated from. Lord Kagaya brought him back and he's been tailing after his approval since. His is mostly an outcast by choice being very quiet and reserved but Shinobu likes talking to him and Mitsuri, Gyomei, and Rengoku go out of their way to be polite to him unlike Obanai and Sanemi who openly detest his presence. Yoriichi likes him well enough though. Both are quiet and don't talk too much. He finds Giyuu's character and presence similar to his own and thus likes him.

Giyuu's blood demon arts are water manipulation similar to Sanemi's wind manipulation but because of waters flexibility he's can do much more with it. A reason why Sanemi hates him and why Rengoku keeps his distance.

DEMON OBANAI:

Similar to the Butterfly sisters, Obanai doesn't really have an official number despite being considered a part of the Kizuki. Is the one to forcibly turned Mitsuri. After meeting the girl and starting a friendship with her (at the time she was engaged and he respected that despite not liking her fiance) , he eventually fell in love with her and forcibly changed her after her deadbeat fiance dumped her later eating him in retaliation. Obanai himself was changed by the very snake demon that killed the rest of his human family although he really doesn't remember, however he has a general dislike for most women he can't explain. Usually he just lounges around waiting for prey to ambush.

His blood arts are unique. He's able to fling sharpened scales from his serpent tail, contrict his victims, poison them, shoot darts of venom from his mouth, and a series of ambush snake strikes to take down his prey

LOWER MOON TWO RUI:

One of the ones I didn't swap out. In a similar fashion to Muzan, Kagaya gave RUI some of his blood and allowed him to remake his own family out of pity from his own mortal life. Not really much changes except for who kills Rui later.

TAMAYO AND YUSHIRO:

Again nothing really changes with them too much. Kagaya originally was interested in Tamayo's abilities as a doctor nevermind the fact her family tragically was killed by his own demons. Tamayo was one of the rare demons who remembered her human life and saw right through Kagaya's twisted justice agenda. She was able to mentally break free from his hold after Yoriichi's encounter with Michikatsu and witnessing the strength and driving force the Moon Haishira had endured to withstand against him.

The story from there continues as normally.

That's it for now. Might do a second drabble with the SWAP Haishira if anyone's interested in hearing more about this.

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spooky-bunnys · 1 year

Note

another taiju request cause I just found out something and i had this idea. So it’s canon that taiju likes sharks so imagine the reader one day showing up to his house and says he bought something special for him and go to change real quick and taiju is probably thinking something else but when the the reader walks out he’s in this cute shark onesie and starts acting like a shark and says “but that’s not all look” and pulls out a shark onesie for taiju and maybe Hakkai and yuzuha come home to see the reader and taiju acting like sharks while wearing the shark onesie and taiju start playfully chasing Hakkai while the reader is playing the jaws theme in the background

Meanwhile yuzuha is secretly recording this beautiful moment

Sorry it's so short and not exactly what you wanted. I'm writing Draken's Brother part 5. Haitani Baby Brother part 3. I'm also writing the D.L x V.K. crossover. And I'm trying to write something special for having 200 followers. But i hope you Enjoy!

Shark Attack

Taiju x Male Reader

When (Name) texted Taiju he had a surprise waiting for him at home. Yhe Black Dragons could tell their boss was excited. He was constantly checking the time on his phone. Since (Name) had gone shopping with his younger siblings. So he was excited to see what (Name) had gotten him. He wasn't going to lie. He hopes it's something "special".

His phone buzzed and Taiju almost fell over trying to get his phone out of his pocket. The gang members all sweatdropped. This was their mighty leader? When he saw it was a text from (Name) informing him they were home. The members had never seen their boss run so fast. "He does remember we have a meeting in like an hour right?" Kokonoi asked looking at his best friend who shrugged.

"He left with a smile. (Name) probably has something to do with it." Inui replied looking back at him. Kokonoi cringed. "Hey that's my cousin! I don't want to know what they're up to like that." The look of disgust and the shiver Kokonoi had as enough to explain his answer. He'd walked in on them too many times.

I mean how else are you supposed to react when you find out your cousin is EXTREMELY flexible. By walking in on your boss blowing your cousins back out on his kitchen counter. Please Kokonoi never wanted to see something like that again. But did when he got invite to swim at (Name)'s house and found his cousin preaching Taiju's name like he was a Saint in the hot tub!

Back with Taiju who had just pulled into the drive way of his and (Name)'s house. He turned off his bike and made his way inside. Expecting an empty house for his surprise but only to see both of his younger siblings playing what he guessed was a new game (Name) probably got Hakki. "I'm home" He called out. The two siblings barely looked away from the TV answering with a quiet "Welcome home."

(Name) came out of the kitchen with a new apron on. Considering Taiju ripped the other one off him last week. Taiju cringed remembering the smack and lecture he got for destroying the apron which apparently was a birthday gift from his siblings. "Babe! I wasn't expecting you to be home so soon! Don't you have a meeting soon?"

Taiju shrugged. If it meant spending more time with his (Name) he didn't care about some meeting. Inui and Kokonoi can take care of it. "I got your message that you had a surprise for me?" (Name)'s face lit up and he squealed kissing Taiju's cheek before running upstairs. Taiju confused smiled loving how happy (Name) seems to be.

It didn't take long for (Name) to return. Taiju was expecting a revealing outfit. Like maybe a crop top and those shorts Taiju has been trying to convince (Name) to get. But no. (Name) came hopping down the stairs in a full suit. A full shark onesie. Taiju froze staring at him. (Name) giggled catching his attention. "That's not all~" (Name) pulled from behind his back an even bigger shark onesie. Taiju smirked widely. God does he love him.

Bouns:

(Name): *playing jaws music from his phone*

Hakki: *running away with tear filled eyes*

Taiju: *chasing after Hakki in the shark onesie* I'm gonna eat you!

Yuzuha: *recording to sent to Kokonoi and Mitsuya*

#male reader #x male reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x male reader #taiju x male reader #taiju shiba x male reader #taiju shiba

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fruity-mega-coconut69 · 1 year

Text

No Funny-Business

[Pairings]: Kate Bishop x Barton!Fem!Reader

[Summary]: When Kate decides to spend the christmas at Clints house she never expected to find you there too.

[warnings]: Kissing, making out, swearing

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Clint parks the car beside his house and looks at Kate. “ You ready? “ Kate nods and gets out of the car, Lucky the Pizza Dog following closely behind her. She rounds the car and Clint opens the trunk and picks up a few gifts. Kate does the same and they start walking towards the house.

Lila, Cooper and Nathaniel immediately run outside and hug their dad. “ Hi, kids. It’s so good to see you. “ He laughs as he hugs them back then looks at Kate. “ Guys, this is Kate. She is going to stay with us for a while. Is that alright? “ They nod and start taking the gifts from her hands; Kate laughed and stepped inside.

Laura is waiting inside and as soon as she sees Clint she smiles and hugs him. “ Hey, babe. Where is my first little monkey? “

“Ugh, dad! I told you to stop calling me that! It’s weird. “ You say coming down the stairs with your head in a book. Clint lets go of Laura and hugs you tightly. “ How was college? “

“ Tiring. Boring and a nightmare. “ You pull out from the hug and turn to the side to see Kate staring at you. Clint backs up and stands beside her.

“ Y/N, this is Kate. I hope you won’t mind her staying in your room for a while “ All you could do was nod as you processed what was happening.

“ This is your daughter? “ Whispered Kate to Clint. He turned to her; confused.

“ Yeah? “

You stood still for a moment then looked back at them. “ Yeah, no problem. She can stay in my room. “ You said then started walking towards your siblings.

“Nothing “ Kate mumbled to Clint as she watched you walk towards Nathaniel and bending down to help him with something.

You were in your bathroom getting ready for the Family Christmas Dinner when the door opened and you whipped your head around to see Kate leaning against the door and looking at you up and down. “ What are you doing here? “ You whisper shouted as you took a step closer to her.

“ Me? What are you doing here? You never told me Hawkeye was your Dad! “ She exclaimed.

“ I didn’t want you to freak out or fangirl over him. It would have been weird. “ You said as you brushed your hands over her neat suit jacket. She nodded and looked down at you. She put her hands on your hips as your hands slowly traveled up to her face; holding it.

“ Fair enough, darling “ She smirked and kissed your lips slowly. You sighed into the kiss and your hand went to the back of her head to deepen the kiss. She straightened up and pushed you against the sink as her hands traveled around on your body. You hummed as you felt her hands land on your ass. Her lips were like heaven to you, and you just couldn’t get enough.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Clint's voice was heard “ I’m coming in! “Your eyes widened and you and Kate quickly separated from each other- but you both knew there was no use- and the door opened. Clint slowly looked at Kate then at you and your messy clothes and his face scrunched up in disgust.

“ What the fuck? “

“ Look dad- “ You tried, but he took a step in and looked Kate dead in the eye.

“ Clint, i-i- can explain! “ Kate said as she put her hands up. He looked at her, waiting for her to continue. “ Y/N and I are together, okay? We met in New York when I was walking around her college, because my friend was there and I ran into her. Then we started seeing each other whenever I went there and soon we got together. “

He nodded, still trying to process. “ Well then, all I'm saying is, “ Clint looked at you both as he paused. “ That there will be no funny-business between you two in this house, okay? I don’t wanna wake up to my daughter moaning my partner's name in the middle of the night. “ You and Kate nodded and started walking out of your bathroom.

“ Dinner is in 30 minutes! “

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A/N: Sorry it's so short! ( Yes i am going to keep apologizing for my fics being short. hehe )

#kate bishop #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x y/n #kate bishop x female reader #hailee steinfield x reader #hailee steinfeld #hailee steinfield x fem reader

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grapejuicestyless · 1 year

Note

i’m rlly sad summers gone but like I have a winter request for conrad so we good !!

fem reader (conklinnn ofc) and conrad used to date but then had a messy breakup so now everyone is in college and yn doesn’t have anywhere to go because everyone is off doing something for winter break so she takes stevens car and drives down to the summer house and conrad shows up a day later and she’s freaking out. They both stay there the whole week and romantic feelings and nostalgia builds up again 🤌🏻

you can add some of your own stuff too because your soooo creative and your work is golden!! thank you:)

Peace.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Angst to fluff!

Summery: After a hard loss, both in a relationship and with the severing of the ties of her past, Y/n must learn to let go in order to gain what she so desperate wants back.

Snowfall is always overlooked. People see it as more of an inconvenience than as a gift. Each little white flake falling from the sky seems like nothing more than a mushy ball of frozen water made to block the roads and keep kids out of school, but the closer you look the more complex they are.

What was once so horrible becomes something beautiful, something unique. There is no other thing like it, each flake is different even by one branch in the pattern. It’s sad how many people are so quick to dismiss it and pout out their windows. White was never their favorite color and the cold was never their favorite temperature.

At this time of year, I usually considered myself lucky. I had a family who cherished each snowfall and a mother who would have hot-coco ready on the table for when our red cheeks and icy hair would become too much and we would finally come back inside to melt and warm up again. Each winter break my younger siblings, Steven and Belly would be attached at my hip. Having an older sister who only grew more and more, our time together always felt limited. So we spent each day in the living room. Playing the Wii with Steven and Barbies with Belly. I would read with my mom and cook with my dad. It was all so perfect. My favorite time of the year.

I used to joke with Conrad that college didn’t hold the same amount of excitement around the season because people were just as bitter and cold all year round. I called him cold hearted too because he thought it was funny. He laughed and kissed me then. I wonder if he would laugh now. Even if we no longer shared a stocking and cozied up by the fireplace impossibly close declaring our quiet loves for each other. I wonder if he still thinks fondly of the winter like I do now that it’s tainted with old memories of us.

Usually, during the winter I would drive down to Boston. It took some convincing for Laurel to allow her daughter to drive so far in such intense weather, but she knew where my heart belonged. It was the holidays and she was just as jolly as the rest of us, so she would always agree. There, I would bring gifts for all the Fishers. I didn’t have enough money to afford gifts and college, so everything was homemade. Every year I would apologize, but Susannah and Conrad always claimed to love it. Jeremiah wouldn’t say anything, but the smile on his face was always genuinely happy, so I think he liked them just as much.

Conrad would take my mitten clad hands after. Even covered in thick wool he managed to clasp his hands fully around mine, eager to get me alone. We’d slip away into his room, my cheeks red and eyelashes covered in snowflakes and his eyes wide and smile full. Behind closed doors, we could be as affectionate as we wanted without gags of jealousy disguised as disgust from Jeremiah or swooning from Susannah over how cozy we looked.

I remember how I believed my hips were made with dips so his hands could fit perfectly in them. How his arm rested on my waist so tight, I didn’t need a blanket because he kept me warm. No fireplace or layers of coats could light the flames in my heart and keep me warm in the coldest winters like Conrad could.

He said summer was his favorite season when he met me, but now he favored winter because it reminded him of me. I asked what would happen if something were to happen to us, just to tease him then. He got serious, I still remember the look on his face when he told me I would always be his favorite thing. How winter would forever remind him of me and no matter what, nothing could change that fact.

It was our own little secret oasis. A utopia of our own confined within the four walls of his childhood bedroom. When it snowed, we’d play in the snow like children and when it stormed we’d make forts to watch our favorite winter movies. It was a dream I never wanted to end, I was foolish to think it wouldn’t.

By spring, it felt like he was tired of me, of who I was. No amount of effort could keep Conrad beside me. I became someone he wasted his time on rather than someone he begged to be around. My skin was like fire to his touch, his eyes avoidant. It all came to a head when I broke down in late May.

“Why, why am I not enough?” I begged him then, I wanted to know what my problem was. Why I couldn’t be more than what I was now. Why we couldn’t go back.

He shrugged his shoulders, looking past my left shoulder. He looked distant. He knew it just as well as I did, we were walking on eggshells.

“Because you’re just not.” His words were bitter, knives stabbing me through the heart and ripping out. There was no reason, he didn’t even try to make the gashes in my heart better.

“Bullshit. I do everything for you! I give you everything!” It came out more as a question than a statement. I wasn’t as sure about what I once believed so firmly now that Conrad was showing how he felt.

“I guess it wasn’t enough then.” His eyes were watering. We were already talking in the past tense, we were over. He didn’t have to say it, neither did I. It was as clear as the freckles on his face, there was no amount of mending that could pull us back together.

In my mind I could only remember those final words we spoke to each other. The first hour of our long argument was washed from my mind for my own sake. What should’ve been tattooed permanently in my brain was gone the second we were over. Maybe if I could remember it fully, each insult and every word he used to put me down and make me feel small, I would’ve been able to feel justified in my anger. I could talk shit with my friends, shit on him to my mother. But even in my heartache, I couldn’t find reasons to be mad at him.

Conrad always went through so much on his own. It would be selfish of me to believe that he was completely okay when things ended. It was messy and sudden the way it happened. He was the biggest dick to me, but I couldn’t blame him for what he did. Not then, not now. Part of me still loved him. Part of me would still die for him in secret. He was my first love, all I knew when it came to my feelings. I let him rule my heart, my decisions. I didn’t show up to Cousins that summer.

Now that it was over, no ties binding us together, no overbearing reason to drive down to Boston for the weeks leading up to the holidays where we’d all finally be together again, I have no where to go. Steven was old enough to be on his own now, a freshman at Princeton. One of his rich friends had dropped by within the first twenty four hours to drag him off to his families vacation home. I hadn’t even set up the Wii yet. Belly, my littlest sibling who I adored more than anyone else I knew was more distant than Steven. The stress of deciding between Finch and Jeremiah or some state school with the guarantee of being on volleyball was eating her alive. Back then, I would’ve told her not to lose sight of her dreams and life because of some boy, but here I was doing the same thing. I stayed quiet and let her decide what she wanted.

My mom was gone just like Steven. Away to talk about her book with other critically acclaimed writers and producers. My dad was out of the picture. He wouldn’t be back until Christmas morning. He was never really present after the divorce, but he’s a good man and he tries his best. He just works a lot. It hurts to not be able to enjoy the holidays like I used to, but I can respect why everyone’s away.

Somehow, I end up in Stevens drivers seat. I’ve never had a car of my own. While Steven spent weeks searching the internet for a cheep car, I spent my time studying for finals and applying to colleges. I never had the time. He gave me his keys before he left. He said I could take his car anywhere I wanted as long as I didn’t ruin it. Each dent in it, I would owe him ten bucks. It wasn’t much, but to a struggling college student, ten dollars in my bank account might as well have been him asking for hundreds.

“Belly, I’m heading out. Call me if you need me, okay? I might not be back for awhile.” The words I chose were ominous. I didn’t tell her where I was going, why I was going or how long I’d be exactly, but she didn’t care enough to ask. So I climbed into Stevens car and let my playlist shuffle. I imagine myself in the situations my favorite artists write about and sing along like I can relate to their upper class parties and juvenile activities. It keeps my mind off of where I’m going.

It’s not like I got in the car set on heading to the one place that once swore to never step foot near again, but when I recognize the signs on the highway pointing me in the same direction, I’m suddenly set on it.

The sting of the breakup lingered like a tattooed kiss, a reminder of something so special that was now gone. I wouldn’t let him ruin the place that was once so special to our families.

Pulling up to that driveway, I remember how the weeds would grow over the gravel by July and how Steven and Jeremiah would stay out for hours plucking at them to make Susannah happy. How the grass held the imprints of our small bodies rolling around the hills and daffodils. The sand was forever glued into the fabric of our favorite t-shirts and the salt air is what we smelled of until December washed it away.

We were always so close here. Despite the rifts and the problems that happened between us. Not blow out fight or silent treatment could ever separate the Conklin’s and the Fishers from each other for long.

I looked back on how I felt at home. How together was something that I never even questioned. Steven would be by the fireplace yelling at the television and Belly would be begging him to quiet down. Laurel would be curled up in the corner scribbling things into a notepad and dad would try to sneakily move the elf on the shelf.

We were older now. The wii wasn’t all that special and Belly longed for the chaos she once hated. Steven preferred his friends and mom and dad fell out of love so mom could learn to love her work more.

I pulled into the large house through the garage. I knew the code by heart, it was my phone passcode. I figured that if I wanted to stay attached to homeliness so badly I could be where I learned what love was the best.

In my head, even now I always believed that no matter how long it would go untouched, the summer home would always be bright and warm. Smelling of Susannah’s candles and Belly’s sticky iced teas.

Stepping through the front door, it was dark and cold. My breath was less visible than in the outside, but the light and heat didn’t bounce from wall to wall like it always did.

It took me a few minutes to find the correct switch to turn up the heat. I cranked it until my socks burned on my feet and a sweat covered the top of my forehead. It was comfortable, I could sink into my own chunky sweater.

It was my mothers, the blue and white striped sweater I wore. She was gifted it by Susannah in their late college years but it never quiet fit her because she was so short. It fit big, but it didn’t sag at my knees or gather at my wrists as much. It smelled like my mom and reminded me of Pennsylvania skies.

The warmth from the heat and the comfort from my clothes set me in a slump, my eyes drooped. I hadn’t even turned on any lights yet, hadn’t gone up to my room to make the bed. I was sat in place on the permanently indented couch. Though my body curled into the spot where I always laid during movie nights, my head fell where Conrad’s lap would’ve been. To imagine we were all just as happy, as close made me feel fuzzy. If I tried hard enough I could even hear his voice. Calling for me, like a dream.

The sun peaked through the windows and the dust that collected on the once neatly kept glass projected tiny shadows and spots across the hardwood floor. The couch was warm with my body heat and other than the faint whisper of the wind, it was peaceful.

A melodic whistle blowed through the open gap between the living room and the kitchen. It was smooth yet broke when the song grew too high for the deeper voice that carried the tune.

Rubbing at my eyes, my feet swung out from under my thighs, I wiped away any drool or signs of slumber. Still, clearing my complexion did not rid my body of the tired achey feeling and the small blurring of my vision. My brain was following behind my body, every caution sign to who was here at this time thrown to the wind.

Mugs clanked together clumsily, my nose burned with the strong scent of coffee beans. It was chillier in the morning here than how I had left it at night, I could feel the tip of my nose turning red and growing colder.

A taller boy stood hunched over the countertops, a spoon clinking around softly as he stirred around something in the mug. His shirt hung loose on his body but his pants fit just right.

His hair was wavy, but only just at the ends. Under the strong smells of early morning caffeine, I could faintly still pick up the scent of sea salt and a spice I couldn’t name. It was vanilla like but also had a lingering smell of oak and woods. It was my favorite smell.

“Conrad..?” It clicked in my brain that the handsome boy hanging around the summer home wasn’t some pick me up sent from heaven. The reason behind my instant admiration for such a simple, domestic task was because of how well I knew and once loved the boy. The name fell from my lips quietly, like I couldn’t believe it was true.

Spinning around, I met his blue eyes. I watched his lips twitch, fighting against some kind of emotion from spreading across his face and the light in his eyes falter. He looked blank, unaware of how his lack of enthusiasm of our reuniting was crushing me inside.

“Figured you’d want coffee.” He was right. He still knew me like the back of his own hand and that was the worst part. I hadn’t changed, I never would. He would always know me and it hurt to know I trusted him like that at one point just for him to leave. He even made it in my favorite mug.

A light blue ceramic mug that still had Belly and Conrad’s fingerprints in the clay and visible brush strokes across the top. They made it for me when we were still little. It was my favorite gift from her because they made it as an apology. For breaking my old vase I made for my mom in art class. They meant to harm and felt horrible, I cherished their kindness more than anything.

“No…no. I’m all set.” Crossing my arms and clearing my throat, I set my eyes on the ground and leaned against the doorframe on the wall. We didn’t speak after that, he didn’t move. Sucking in his lips, I heard him sigh almost disappointedly.

“So…” He tried to start, I was too scared to listen. Not of him, god I could never be scared of him. But of what he could want to say.

My eyes flicked over the dents in the floor, I discovered marks I hadn’t seen before. Just when I thought I had everything memorized. When I thought I knew everything, when I thought I knew him.

“You know, uhm…I think I’m going to settle in.” Nodding at him quickly, I all but ran to the stairs. My hands gripped at the banister so quickly, I felt skin pull skin. It tore just under my fingers beginning, the top of my palm. I swore I heard him call after me, but maybe it was the ringing in my ears.

I came here to get away. In search of some solace, I grasped at the tattered strands of my childhood to find that I had held on too long. In my own journey, by some sort of fate, I dragged along a deeper part of those memories with me.

I spent that morning stowed away in my bedroom. I left the door ajar. The air was chilly still, and the air dusty. The heat had rarely been used. Only on the rare occasions in which Susannah would find reason to escape down to the beautiful town of Cousins. Simply to watch the early snowfalls or sparkling lights decorating the center of the town. Usually when I would get settled into my own room in the summer home, each knickknack would be thrown carelessly over the bureau top and shoved in the forever empty bedside table drawers. I would procrastinate making my bed last. I hated the damned fitted sheets and the wrinkles I couldn’t flatten for days. I hated the way that the corners never stayed. My body stretched as far as it would go, yet I could never quiet hook the fabric far enough to keep it settled.

Today was no different. My blood boiled the same, but it mixed with an unfamiliar warmth. How endearing it was to be able to relive such a memorable moment of my summers again even after tragedy struck the once uniting household.

“Fuck.” The sheets flipped up. The full sized mattress was far too wide to allow my arms to stretch across the full width of its body and hook the corners over far enough to where they wouldn’t slip. Each move resulted in a different kind of release with the bedsheets. Each time I ended up wrapped up in the thin cotton sheets.

The clock ticking on my bedside table taunts me. Reminds me of how long I’ve been tangled around in my bed. If it weren’t so humiliating, I would’ve asked for help. But I created a mess. My feelings, one’s that Conrad had so clearly buried as he was able to be kind and cordial towards me while I panicked like a fish out of water. So I hop around from corner to corner desperate to finish my task.

“Y/n?” The name burns the way it rolls off of his tongue. Like even with me gone, he had practiced pronouncing it in the mirror, whispered it to himself each night. It was like we’d seen each other the day before, the way it came out. Breathless and light.

The moon hung over the house, illuminating thin strips of shine through the windows that led from the floor to the very bed I was sprawled across.

Sighing heavily, I threw my head back. Hair fell in front of my face, tickling the bridge of my nose. I saw Conrad hesitate. His hand flinched out from where it was tucked behind the doorframe. He set it on the white wood frame.

“Can I help?” It was innocent enough. Maybe he was sick of the sound of my knees rubbing against the mattress. Or the way I grunted every few minutes. I stumbled around my room all day fixing it up, I almost forgot how loud it could’ve been.

It felt sour to accept it. Even if it were as innocent and kind as it seemed. Conrad had a glimmer of hope in his eye and his lips upturned. He looked so handsome still, nose pinker from the slight chill and eyes still just as deep blue.

“No thank you.” I huffed. I tried to sound annoyed, something that was hard to do when you weren’t really all that annoyed at all. Resistant was the only similar thing I could place a name to. I saw the wag Conrad’s smile faltered, his eyes looming with a dark shadow, masking the vibrant sparkle.

“Come on, don’t be so stubborn, please? You’ve been at it for hours, just let me help.” Stubborn. Just like my mother and his. Each of us were always set to do things on our own. But this was far more than just genetics at this point. This was my own grudge I was holding. This was my pride and my responsibility over my emotions acting. No matter how nice the gesture, I still refused, gnashing my teeth.

“Oh, so suddenly you care?” It was a lot more mean than I meant it. I know how much Conrad cares. How much he always has. He doesn’t have the best way to show for it, but in the end you always know it. It was a mistake, an instant regret. I watched how his face contorted. He wasn’t just disappointed now, but genuinely hurt by my own dig at his insecurities.

His whole life, Conrad always feared he wasn’t enough. He couldn’t give enough, couldn’t be enough. He always talked himself down, creating a false standard in which everyone else was above him, out of his league. He was insecure. He didn’t need reassurance, he knew what kind of love was real and what was fake, but the fact that maybe I had thought the same crushed him. I could tell.

His silence hung over us so heavy, a knife could slice it. His jaw stuttered and his eyes blinked slow. A loss for words. I wish he could just yell at me. Fuel my fire, make me feel less bad about what I said. Less guilty about the fact I couldn’t get over us when he could. Conrad didn’t deserve my emotional daggers directed at his heart simply because we split. I know Conrad, I always have. His method of leaving was cruel, but the boys heart was in the right place always.

“Fuck!” The sheet snapped back. I had enough. In all seriousness, I should’ve stopped to talk to the boy who was so clearly hurt by the door. A girl, a guest in a house that once felt just as much as hers as his was there in a now occupied room throwing insults unprovoked when he was trying to be nice.

Standing, I stumbled past him clumsily again, taking a spare blanket that hung off the end of the bed with me. I couldn’t take it. His stares, the silence, the sheet, my own guilt, my thoughts. I needed to be out of that sickened room.

“Y/n…” Again, the call was faint. A whisper in my head whose only goal was to make me stop. I didn’t turn. It was unfair, the whole thing. To me, to Conrad. I decided to sleep on the couch.

My back ached. The plush cushioning under my back too soft, too worn in. A good remedy, a great place for a quick nap. But it hurt after more than a few hours. The fabric rubbed harshly, the pillows sunk in. My hips popped when I stood.

The sun was shining through the windows, air crisp. Heat finally reached all corners of the large house and the cob webs were finally swept away. The magic of summer wasn’t there, but it felt homely. A good alternative to the sad loneliness of my own bedroom at home.

The house was still, the kitchen untouched and an empty mug in the sink. It was stained in a ring from where the old drink had been and had little brown streaks from where the coffee dripped off of the sides. The counter tops were cold, despite the heat inside. The floor was quiet, there was no shuffling. It led me to believe that the only other occupant was still asleep.

Heading up the stairs, I picked at my old clothes. The discomfort came from multiple things. The way my clothes stuck to my body, my teeth didn’t feel right in my mouth. My hair was knotted. I looked fine, but nothing felt right. The only way to describe it was that when waking up after a rough couple of nights, it felt like my skin didn’t fit right over my bones.

My door was wide open. The hinges bent all the way back, the light bled through the curtains. My already slow steps came to a halt when the threshold fell behind my legs. My bed was decorated with the same blue floral design it always had during the summers.

The pillows were placed where I always had them, and my blankets were hung so neat on the bottom of my bed. My fingers ran over the soft fabric like it wasn’t really mine. Like I was admiring a sample from a store, wishing it were mine. It was always so pretty.

My thumb hooked over the folded edge very carefully. I didn’t want to mess with the perfectly made bed. More importantly, I didn’t want to crease the remaining hand prints that laid in the center of the bed.

The plushy duvet left residue from bigger hands. Spread along the bends, from the center down. Proof that someone had truly tried their best to perfect it.

Looking under the top, not only had each layer been placed, but the fitted sheet. I could see it now with all its layers peeled back. The thought that even after my initial attempts to push away, to be mean, to hurt him, that Conrad had still wanted to help me made me feel warm. I wasn’t sure why my heart was fluttering for a boy I swore I hated. But my cheeks were red and my knees felt weak. I always did love his acts of service.

I didn’t plan on showering, but my skin was sticky with sleep and my heart was pounding too fast. I hated the fact that Conrad was too good for everyone in his own special ways. I hated the way he still cared and the way he remained so observant even in our absence. Most of all, I hate the way I reach for his shampoo in the shower. Longing for the scent of him to linger on me for just a little longer. How funny it is that we’ve changed so quickly and yet not at all. We used to share our hair products. He kept a hair tie for me in his bedside table. I had a drawer of clothes in his room, he had some in my closet. He went from my everything to just something in my life. Yet, with all this change I still reach for the familiarities of what we once had. My hand still searches the shower for his conditioner. My feet still take me to his door to find a shirt I like. What we had is gone, crushed under the weight of our separation, but my muscle memory pulls me back. The heart is a muscle, one that forever beats for Conrad Fisher.

I sit in the corner for longer than I lather the soap across my skin. My body is curled up against the cold tiles. I feel pathetic doing so. How small I’ve made myself. Not only mentally, but physically. I feel weak at how little self control I have. I think back on the past year of my life and I regret each decision I’ve made leading me here suddenly.

Was I not enough for Conrad? I know it’s not his reasoning behind his leaving, but I feel like the theory becomes more and more plausible the longer I think back on how lonely I’ve been. So stuck on my own problems, I forget how little I see my family. How Belly has grown without me. Her friends, her lovers. She is independent, she knows her path. Steven has matured. He understands feelings, he’s valedictorian. His brains lead him through life, he no longer comes to me at midnight to ask for help with math. I no longer review his essays or read his made up stories in the living room. We are two different siblings who once spent every moment together. My mother is nose deep in her own promotion with her books. She is succeeding while my father is going on dates and moving on. I am stuck in the same spot, forever thinking of the past, I can not move on.

I am scared by the knowledge that my family is no longer dependent on me. A scab is forming over the wound of the fact that Conrad has left, I am not needed. I hope the warm water fading into a cooler drizzle will hide the way my eyes are puffy and red. The streaks of water on cheeks will become streams of the shower. I am strong and resistant like my parents, but I am scared to admit that I have real fears. Ones that control my life. I will never tell them how I breakdown, how my heart is breaking and I am falling off the pedestal.

It’s more lively now then it was just an hour ago. The birds are gone, on vacation away in the warmer weather while the cold covers New England in a chilling blanket. I hear the mugs clattering from the hallways and the soft humming passing through his pink lips. He hears me before he sees me.

“Coffee?” He motioned to the brown liquid, steaming while it poured into the glass pitcher. Rubbing beneath my eyes, I could feel the weight of my eye bags heavy on my skin. My throat was coarse, hands aching from how hard I had grasped onto the shower walls. I hid behind the island counter on the stool. My body curled up into the baggy clothes covering my body, my knees hugging into my chest as close as possible.

“Yes, please.” I mumbled softly, trying not to show any weaknesses. Conrad knew me better than that. The way my lip twitched into a fake smile, how my eyes were more avoidant that usual. Even in my heavy feelings, my eyes were always drawn to him. I was closing myself off.

A beat passed. Conrad’s attempt at conversation had fallen short, right by my feet.

“How’d you sleep?” He turned to me, freshly brewed coffee sloshing around in the same mug as yesterday. He placed it in front of me, but he turned away again to pour his own cup. It wasn’t to further distance himself, creating a divide all while I was shutting down, but to give me room to breathe in a space I was so clearly suffocating in.

“It was okay.” I sighed, hand holding my head, my eyes closed. I imagined myself laid with my back pressed against plush pillows and my childhood bedroom fairy lights hanging over my head. It was still winter, but the atmosphere in my daydream felt of summer.

“I’m glad, then. That it wasn’t so bad, I mean.” He corrected himself, afraid of a wrath inside of me that didn’t exist to him anymore. It never really had, my emotions had only been misplaced yesterday.

Often I’ve been told that my words shoot to kill when I’m mad. I insult and belittle myself more than others, but my mother has no problem with bringing up the few times I targeted my feelings at Steven or Belly. How little I made them feel, how guilty I felt. I threw up once, after yelling at Steven. He hadn’t cared for it, fighting was what siblings did. But remembering how I tried to hurt him made me sick. I felt the same after insulting Conrad.

Nodding my head, I pursed my lips into a thin line. My eyes blinked away any dryness, I inhaled a deep breath.

“Hey, uhm…thank you, by the way.” I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands, hovering over the cup of coffee to revel in the hot steam hitting my face.

Conrad turned around, leaning against the counter. His hands pressed up behind him, firm but his face was soft, glad.

“I shouldn’t have…you didn’t deserve that.” My eyes flickered between the floor and the folding of my sleeves over my thumbs. My skin was cold, my hair wet on the back of my neck. I had a lump in my throat.

“Y/n?” His voice was gentle, closer than before. I saw his elbows press against the counter top, just mere inches away. I felt even more awkward, littler than before somehow.

I hummed. But the coarseness in my throat made it come out as more of a rumble. I choked on the growing lump, my nose burned.

“We don’t have to avoid each other.” He said it like that was so easy. Like everything was resolved by him simply stating that he didn’t want to face the consequences of our actions.

“I know.” I brought the edge of the mug to my lips and blew. Steam clouded my vision, the wet heat felt nice on my cheeks.

“Y/n.” He said more firmly.

He wasn’t angry, but he wanted my attention. My eyes flickered up to his. They were darker now. Swarmed with so many emotions, it was hard to grasp onto what he was feeling. I set the mug down.

“Please don’t avoid me.” He begged more softly, his hand hesitated to reach out to me. Once they clasped around mine, it was almost relieving. Having something familiar to ground me while I was only working myself up. “I miss you, I miss us. We were best friends and we haven’t even spoken in…I don’t even know how long. This, this is stupid. To be running in circles like this?”

“That’s easy for you to say.” This time, my words weren’t angry. They broke apart when I spoke. The sentence was raw, the lump in my throat broke through my clenched teeth and my nose heated up in an intense burn. My eyes were heavy, working hard to keep any tears at bay. Again, here I find myself in a different spot, practicing the same habits. I stand in front of Conrad angry, ready to hurt his ego and pierce a hole through his heart just to ease my own mind.

I wanted exactly what he did, to be as close. I missed him more than anything in my life ever, but it wasn’t so simple. He pleaded my name again, I pulled my hands out of his. His fingers were like a barbed wire. It suddenly stung to have him touching me.

“I just wish you would’ve acknowledged it, you know? I mean look at me, look at us. You’re fine, you’re happy. I can’t even look at you without wanting to cry.” When our hearts broke, they broke uneven. Conrad was left with a bruise why I was facing the pain of a bleeding scar across my own. He had been the one to cause the rift, he had been the one to bring up everyone’s insecurities, use them against our relationship.

“Y/n.” He whispered, reaching out to me again. I stood from the stool, keeping my distance. My tears were hot, they burned into my skin.

“You couldn’t even stand me, Conrad! And I couldn’t see it before, but I can now. You couldn’t even text me, no. No, but that’s not the worst part. Maybe it’s the fact that you couldn’t even show up to Stevens graduation because I was there.” He sighed, ready to defend himself. I look back on all the disappointed faces, I remember the way Steven frowned at that empty seat beside me and I feel angry.

“Do you know how hard it is to tell your baby brother that his hero couldn’t make it to his graduation because he can’t even stand to be around me? Do you know how sad he was when he started to walk up to the podium and saw your seat was empty? I recorded it and sent it to you, did you know that? I wasn’t going to, I didn’t think you deserved to have a part in one of the most important parts in Stevens life, but he begged me to. Tried to make me send it twice so you’d get it.” I took a deep breath, wiping away the tears by my eyes, more spilled. My face was wet with salt water and red with anger.

“So why don’t we go back to how things were before after you’ve fucked it all up!”

“It’s really fucking unfair of you to act like this hasn’t affected me at all either!” He finally shot back. He was never one to yell. Conrad always had some sort of control over his composure. He never yelled, he hated yelling.

“How, how can you say that after you’ve done nothing to fix anything!” Walking closer to him, I saw how he turned away to grip the counter between his fingers.

“People deal with shit differently, Y/n. Grow up!” He yelled. His eyes were wild, it should’ve scared me. But god, him telling me to grow up after all he put me through only made me angrier. I was fragile already. But not as a flower, but a bomb.

“Fuck you, Conrad.” My voice was shaky, but firm. I didn’t yell, my lack of volume was almost scarier than my inevitable rage. He looked up at me, it was like watching him realize how his words had betrayed him. He hadn’t meant for us to fight, to talk like this. He wanted to fix things. He wanted me back.

“Y/n.” He shook his head, walking closer to me, he bent away from the edges of the island to reach me quicker. His voice was laced with pity

“Stop saying my name!” I backed away, feet catching on the threshold, I slowed myself down. Each time he said it, it pulled on my heartstrings. How could he be so selfish to not even be able to see all the pain I’ve been put through!

“I’ve missed you ever since I left you! You think I don’t regret the way I treated you? I’m not naïve to my own stupidity, I know my mistakes, I’ve owned them. You were my everything, god you might as well have hung the stars!” He waved his hands around to animate what he was saying. It only stresses me out more.

“Then why? Why did you throw it all away!” My body began to crumble beneath me, my knees wobbled.

“Because I was scared! I was scared of losing you. I thought if I let myself become too obsessed, that if you decided to leave me I would never be able to get back up. I had to do it!” He confessed. It all made sense then. All my unanswered questions, all my insecurities of not being enough. Conrad hadn’t left because I couldn’t give him what he wanted. He left because he was scared of what would happen when I was gone. That he wasn’t enough.

“I wouldn’t have left you, Conrad. I wouldn’t have.” My palms hit my eyes, my knees started to give. A sob ripped through my throat. It hurt to breathe.

His arms were like a blanket. His hands still fit perfectly around my back. When he held me, it was tight. I knew it then that he wouldn’t be letting me go, not now. His shirt was wet with my tears, mine was wet with my hair. I felt stupid, naïve to think of Conrad in such bad ways when he had only been doing what he thought was best to protect his heart after loss after loss.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I repeated it like a prayer, I didn’t mean to be so mean. I didn’t want to be rude to him, I wanted him to be close to me always. His heart was beating out of his chest when he nodded. He knew I never meant to fight him. We were both entitled to our feelings, there was no reason in trying to apologize for how we reacted.

His hand lifted to my head, brushing through my hair. He gathered a chunk in his palm, his knuckles gripping at it. It didn’t hurt, he didn’t intend for it to. He was breathing me in, holding onto me in every which way possible.

“It’s going to be okay, we’re going to be okay.” My sobs were muffling themselves, quieting down into soft whimpers. It took a lot to even nod my head against his shirt. It smelled like him, and it was homely. I felt safer now than in our argument. Our words held no value anymore, I just hoped that what he said was true.

Holding her like that almost made things feel normal again. Having her hair in between my fingers and her waist pressed against mine. I wanted to revel in it, selfishly. But her sniffles and uneven breath only made me remember why I even got the privilege to hold her again.

Again and again, I watched her breakdown over a mistake I made. To protect myself. I swore it to her last winter, promised her that it would always be my favorite season because she was my favorite thing. I built up this trust and a love between us. It was when she left that I freaked out over what my mom said.

“I’ve never seen you so happy.” She had said, poncho bc my cheek between her fingers. Playfully, I pulled my face away.

“Yea?” I mused, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and watched the steady snowfall on the final night of winter through the window.

“The love bug’s got you.” She was right. I was so undeniably in love with Y/n. I would change everything in my life just to be with her always.

“What?” My eyes squinted from the way my eyebrows furrowed. She was still looking out into the snow.

“It’s okay to be in love, Connie.” She quickly turned to me and smoothed out my shirt. She sensed my confusion and stress. I knew I was in love with her, but the fact that it was that obvious, that clear made me worry.

“Everyone has their first love at some point.” With that she left. At some point. The words rung through my head. I knew that the first love was always the strongest, but this was not my first love. I had fallen for an ex-girlfriend in freshman year. She broke my heart. Why was the thought of Y/n leaving shattering mine completely?

The more I thought of us together then, the more I worried about her leaving. She was perfect for me, maybe. But could I even measure up to her perfection? Could I give her everything?

I was able to push that feeling away for a few weeks. But as winter turned to spring and the leave began to regrow, I couldn’t shake it. Distance was a thing I was only growing between us. Space, something I created so there was no way we could get hurt. I thought it was the right thing, then. I thought it was the right move for me to let her leave so easily. To watch her fight for me one last time and not react. I was giving her the chance for someone more, someone better. I didn’t know I was only breaking her heart in ways I worried I would break my own.

It was a guilt I lived with all these months. When she didn’t come up to cousins because she wasn’t feeling good, I knew why. I had avoided her like the plague after our last conversation, our first real fight. I couldn’t even show up for her family in one of their most important milestones. Now it seemed like we only fight now, or at least in these past couple hours.

My neck was stiff from how it leaned against the back of the couch. I hadn’t watched past the hour mark of the black and white movie Conrad had put on. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I no longer liked it.

The movie was all I watched when I was at my absolute worst. Not to say I wasn’t still there, I felt rock bottom beneath my feet, but I felt myself getting better slowly. I no longer spent each day rewatching the same film over and over to ease the pain and remind myself of a happier time. I hated the way they talked. I once found it romantic, but the old cracking in the sound and the fancy accents made me angry. None of it was real.

To Conrad, he only did what he thought I would like. He had no way of knowing of my new distaste to the movie. One I used to rave about for hours. Then again, he never asked.

Yawning, I felt a set of eyes on mine.

“Tired?” He asked, a small smile on his face. I waved him off.

“Nope.” I popped the ‘p.’ It was an easy lie, my dark circles and slouchy posture gave it away. There was no way to sell it. I was surprised when he didn’t push me on it. My eyes drooped, my cheek pressed to my lonely shoulder. I had no one to lean on. I curled into myself a little, all while silently telling myself I was awake.

A pillow hit my lip, I bit down a little but it didn’t hurt me. My eyes were wide open now, hair messed up around the top. My fly aways were all over the place, my eyes squinting.

“Hey!” Grabbing the corners of the pillow, I swung as hard as I could towards Conrad, the culprit. It his his chest, he groaned out in a heavy breath. The pillow was soft, I was sure it didn’t hurt. But he entertained the idea that it did by rubbing circles in his chest, wincing and hissing through his teeth. I rolled my eyes.

“Seriously?” I leaned back against the cushions again, placing the pillow comfortably over my lap. I heard him laugh. A real, genuine laugh. It felt like weight was lifted off of my back.

“What! That was one of my best performances.” He punched my shoulder. I shot him playful glares. He pushed at me again, begging for a reaction. I folded already, giving into his games and retaliating against his childish attacks. But I would not crumble so easily. I would not let him tease me and play me until I opened up again just hours after yet another fight. I worried that another would ensue.

Sitting up, I tossed the pillow back at him. The sound he made confirmed it had hit him in the face.

“Come on, where are you going?” I could hear the smile in his voice. It made me smile too, knowing he was happy.

“To bed, I am tired.” I didn’t look back, but I felt him watching.

I swore I heard words die on his tongue. A soft stutter to a dead silence. Like he wanted to protest but stopped himself somehow. He never saw me look back, but when I was turning to the stairs, I allowed myself a glimpse.

His eyes were spacey, lip pulled between his front teeth. His eyebrows furrowed. He was deep in thought, but I could see the disappointment in his face. He didn’t seem as full of life, as cheerful. We were rebuilding a childhood, best friend bond that was lost with in cracking of our foundations in the spring.

“Goodnight, Conrad.” I still hadn’t had the ability to carry a joke with him. To keep a conversation flowing without my emotions dying inside of me before I could get them out. I whispered my goodnight. I wanted him to know I still held a place in my heart for him, but part of me wanted to reserve that knowledge to only myself.

I was scared to be more than what was being proposed. The door was open, we were almost friends. It was an odd spot. We’d act like friends, joke like them, but we both knew what we had done, what had just happened. I would walk through the entrance if Conrad would allow it. If we could at least be close, even if his lips weren’t mine, even if his body wasn’t there for me to lean on anymore. I would live happily, I’d be able to put on a brave face and call myself his friend. I would stand by the alter, watching him find another love, burying the hatchet of our love for good and I would be okay, I decided. As long as I still had him. As long as I never had to feel as alone as I did this morning.

“They’re saying borderline blizzard conditions, Con. You don’t think we’ll need to go on a supply run, do you?” His back was turned to me, hands working over the pot of coffee skillfully. His thumb brushed against the glass, he hissed quietly and shook his hand off.

“I think you’re just overthinking it.” He payed my worry not attention. He knew this house better than I did. It would hold, that wasn’t the worry. We had no shovels, nothing to dig us out of snow were to block us in. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. I made my way around the island, pushing myself off of the counter and into one of the stools perched under it.

“Coffee?” Conrad asked, ignoring my questions again. I gave into him, playing his game and being stubborn.

“What kind?” My fingers drew circles on the cold marble.

“Black.” He set the cup down in front of me, letting it come to a halt right in front of me. My eyes flickered to the coffee, a smirk fighting it’s way onto my cheeks.

“Like your soul?” Like your heart, is what I wanted to say. Something that used to come so easy, meaningless insults directed at him not to make him sad, but to make him smile. I still hadn’t answered by question, though. If I were to direct a remark at his heart, would it weigh too much under the cracking foundation of our recovering friendship? I still wondered if he would laugh at that and go along with it.

Conrad laughed, looking out the window and admiring the sky. He didn’t respond, but he never really had when I’d make those jokes. Usually he would laugh or tell me it was a good one. He sighed lightly.

“I walked right into that one.” He smiled down at his coffee now, holding the mug loose with the handle dangling between his fingers.

When silence took over the room, it wasn’t uncomfortable. We welcomed it. We were alone with our thoughts and for once, they weren’t twisted and heavy. Only happy memories and thoughts of old habits.

In my mind, I dreamed of times where I knew what to say after making a joke. What I could do to counter a snarky remark and his laughter. I always knew what to say to him, when and why. I knew what made him tick. I still knew how to set him off, I believe that once you have the ability to get under someone’s skin, you never truly lose it. Either you continue to poke at the wounds that hurt them so, or your presence is able to remind them of it. Yet, with all the loss in my every heartbeat, somewhere along the way I forgot how to keep him happy.

Conrad’s footsteps snapped me out of my clouded haze. My eyes snapped up from the counter to his face. He didn’t look at me, but stayed focused on his coffee.

“Glad to know you still got it.” His eyes flicked to me, I swear I saw him wink. It was so quick, my words died in a pathetic stutter. I smiled stupidly at him, I couldn’t even pretend to be snarky. It caught me off guard, somehow. My walls were torn down now, the barrier of anger and sadness I kept up around him to keep us apart gone with our last fight and heart to hearts. The devils in the details, but somehow it didn’t feel as deep, as life changing anymore.

It was like he knew I couldn’t think of something to promise to him. To keep us going. He surely hadn’t lost it.

I tried to rationalize everything recently. But it felt like it took over my life. I’d almost forgotten about Belly and Steven. How they’d been so quick to shut me out simply because someone had offered me a place to be wanted for a moment. Conrad always knew when to swoop in to save me. I could help but talk myself down every so often and convince myself that Conrad is not made of Angel dust. He simply is a man, and a smart one at that. All of this could be just to butter me up, I know it’s always an outcome. A way to win me back, but never want me the same. It poisons me to think about him that way, I know him. He would never play me to become the good guy.

My mind has no middle line. Constantly wavering between my lover, the man I see as the sky and the seas. I see him as a perfect lipstick stain to a white collar, uggs in the fall, hot chocolate in the winter. He is all things I love and yet I still fight. The other part of me fights my heart to keep my distance. How just hours ago I told myself the hate I had for Conrad was always going to be just that, irreversible hurt that he caused. It’s the sweetest torture I could bare in the fact that really, by the end of it my mind is set on just getting to be with him again. No matter what his games are.

It’s pathetic, but my heart strings pull a little whenever I hear his footsteps upstairs. When I can tell if he’s coming to see me or not. I like knowing he likes to be around me once more. It almost covers up the fact that he hurt me so bad. I’m not idiot, however. I wish I were in some cases, but I’m not blinded completely by my love. With every advance, I find a way to make it platonic. He’s my friend.

He said he missed me, our friendship bond. I know that he is a man of his word. I should not work myself up, I shouldn’t expect so much. I shouldn’t jump into his arms because he says go. I think rationally, I use my head. I let my heart race and my cheeks flush but ultimately my brain will stop me from messing about again. So part of me finds it sad when the power goes out later that day. For both the house and myself. It’s childish how quickly I jump in search of Conrad. I have to remind myself not to hold onto him, not to yell I told you so.

I call for his name quietly through the halls, feeling the chipping paint under my finger tips. It’s still fresh, but bumpy. A previous project of Susannah’s from when her paint brushes never seemed to dry out. It’s hard to tell if she never finished her projects that summer. Or even if she never finished any.

In the dark, it’s almost more clear to see where her brush strokes end. Where the moonlight illuminates the white and blues, you can see the divides between old and new. God, if she were any less attentive it would surely be the end of this house. It was in great condition, but some things were out of place, uncared for simply because Susannah’s mind went a mile a minute.

Smiling, I let my hands run over the wall, feet planting on the cold wood. I could feel it through my socks, with the lights out and the heat stuttering to a halt.

“Y/n/n, hey.” He sounded breathless, coming up from behind me. I hadn’t even noticed the stomping of his feet up the staircase as my fingers danced along the wall. So caught up in the past I find it that sometimes I forget that I’m living in my present. Looking around my metaphorical room in my mind, I see my chosen family. I see his brother as mine, his mother as mine. I see myself as a child again running through the sand and tracking mud through the dining room.

I know deep down I can not keep holding on, keep on keeping myself back. I can never give Conrad peace, but I can give him my sunshine, my best. He would always have a friend in me. I set my heart free then, fingers stuck to the wall, eyes flickering to my feet. I let go of my heart break and my solemn silences I throw at my loved ones for guilt. I let my walls down, I take Conrad’s hand, and I shake my head. His smile is warm, his eyes loving. He still needs me, he always has. He still loves me and my heart is racing. I finally feel like I have him back.

“You okay?” Back in reality, I’m aware that I’m not actually holding onto his hand, and Conrad isn’t really smiling at me. My heart is still in its cage and I have fallen victim to my own mind again. Conrad is not mine.

Clearing my throat, I lick at the corners of my lips. When I shake my head this time, I know it’s real because Conrad is looking at me questioningly. He is not in love with me, he is not drooling over me. The power is still out and our muddy footprints mean nothing to him anymore.

“We blew a fuse, but the generators dead. We’re just going to have to stick it out.” I nodded again, looking up at him with doe eyes. My lips were glossy with a sheen coat of spit from how much I licked them, but at them nervously. Yet, he didn’t even spare me a glance. It was almost like he was waiting on something.

“You can say it.” He finally sighed.

“Say what?” His eyes caught mine, seeing just how intently my eyes focused on his dimples and the bridge of his nose decorated with delicate freckles. I cleared my throat.

“You told me so.” He smiled, punching my shoulder playfully. He could tell my mind was drifting, he could see it, I saw the way his eyes softened. My gentle smile turned into a shit-eating grin.

A beat passed, he continued waiting on me in the dark room. I liked it in some odd ways. Enjoyed having him waiting on me for once. It wasn’t the same. How my heart waited for his apologies for so long, how I expected it because I knew one day he would come back to me to make things right in his own way. But somehow, his desire for my once overlooked jokes and brushed off comments made my cheeks warm. Like more than me in this moment, he wanted the normal us back.

“Are you going to…” He voice trailed off, my feet picked up against the cold wood floor.

“Why don’t you start the fire? I’m going to get some blankets.” I tucked the hair behind my ear, practically running to the staircase. He nodded, not that I could see it, but the silence confirmed that he had forgotten that I couldn’t truly see his nod. That along with a soft hum of approval from him.

“Oh, and Conrad.” He hummed again. His eyes glistened in the moonlight, shining brighter than any other object standing in the hallway. He waited on me patiently, slowly inching closer.

“I told you so.”

The best of blankets and pillows sprawled put along the living room floor helped to further nestle us against the foot of our white couch. The snowfall and the storm felt less like an inconvenience but a gift.

I was reminded of my childhood. Of first snowfalls and broken ice skates. Red noses and icy hair. I remember how even after the facade of perfect holidays and new years kisses faded into nothing more than a dream, how my heart still soared with excitement each coming fall. How I couldn’t wait to see the snowy powder decorating my front lawn. I get reminded of why I drove so long to see Conrad. Of his warm hugs and his soft mittens. Wearing his hats and stumbling around in the backyard. I feel less hurt by the company than I once did a few days ago. I feel blessed that by some miracle, fate had string Conrad and I back together. That his hands would forever paint my hands in a gentle love we only held, and his whispers of senseless jokes he mumbled tiredly were only mine to laugh at.

The fire crackled, roaring feverishly through the night. The snow and wind pounded against the sides of the house, and despite the chills running through my toes and my fingers, I felt warmer inside than before, rekindling our inside jokes and fueling ourselves for even more.

Soon, our soft laughter and ongoing conversations died out. Our eyes glued to the flames, I tried to catch a glimpse into Conrad’s eyes. I wanted to know what the fire would look like reflected into his blue eyes. Instead, I caught his gaze locked onto my face.

I felt embarrassed, in a way. Vulnerable under his gaze. I felt my cheeks heat up and my body tingle. I felt like a school girl again.

“Y/n/n.” He called for me softly. The only way I was sure that he’d even said it was the fact that my eyes were so trained in his pink lips. I nodded slowly.

“Why did you come down here? Why now?” Even though the question was serious, I couldn’t help but to smile at his curiosity in my life.

Taking a deep breath, I watched his flat face turn into a welcoming grin.

“Lately, I’ve just been caught up in the past, I guess. I’m just so used to coming home every winter to Steven and Belly in the living room already fighting. And my dad and mom arguing about what decorations playfully.” Conrad laughed like he could picture it. He’d never really been in my house during the holidays. Sure, the Fisher family would stop by every few months when the distance became too much, but holiday’s were usually spent apart.

“I guess when I came home this year and that wasn’t there, I kind of freaked a little. I mean, Steven just left, Belly was too caught up in her own life to care about what I wanted to do, how much time we had left. My dad was too busy to stop by and…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I almost allowed the words to slip, how the final straw was that even with the mess of my family, at least at one point I had Conrad. I had his gentle hands and his quiet promises to hold onto. When everything went to hell, it was like losing the last bit of peace. “I wanted to be somewhere I wouldn’t feel alone, I guess.” I replaced my words with this. Hoping he’d understand how much he meant to me, how much all of it meant to me.

The single puff of air coming harshly through his mouth in a sigh reminded me just how close we were. How I could feel each word falling from his lips fanning over my shoulder. We were sharing a blanket, so close yet our bodies so far.

“Y/n.” He sounded more serious. During my confession, I found a home in the floorboards. Feeling safer confessing to the air than to a man who destroyed me not so long ago. My eyes hesitated to meet his, but I could see just how serious he was.

“I regret what happened between us more than anything I’ve ever done in my life. I know I can’t reverse that, but please never say you are alone. I swear to you, no matter what, I’m there.” It was rare to hear such thing from Conrad. Maybe a grunt of a hug to assure my feelings were always appreciated. But I could see the sincerity in his face, his voice was dripping with guilt. He meant it, every word.

Nodding my head, I silently thanked him. I watched his eyes search my face. How his lips parted but shut quickly. He decided against continuing, but it was like an unspoken apology was being said between us in that moment.

With gravity pulling us together, it was only in my nature to protect my heart. I had to rip us apart before I gave in without knowing if we’d ever be the same. If I kissed him and it was just a winter fling, I couldn’t take another heartbreak.

So, in our silence, I moved my hand between us. The pad of my thumb brushing away the charcoal from the fire dusting just under his cheek. I watched how he shivered and backed away, eyes fluttering shut. All while I bit at my lip, delicate in the way I rubbed away the dust.

“Are my hands cold?” I remained focused in on him, my lips curled into a smile seeing his reaction to my touch, how he shivered but didn’t complain. He nodded his head slowly, but his eyes were still closed.

I saw how his eyebrows furrowed, it wasn’t from discomfort, but in the low light it was hard to tell. My hand curled away, ready to ease the coldness off of his skin. I didn’t expect his own hand to cover mine, holding it against his now rosy cheeks.

“Feels nice.” He mumbled almost drowsily. His eyes still hidden behind his eyelids, his other hand found mine aimlessly, gently pressing it to his other cheek. I felt his weight sink into my palms, reveling in my touch.

The band suddenly snapped. All the tension, all the build up. He was right there, so eager, so gentle. I had to know if he was still the same boy I loved not too long ago. He had set me up for an old joke.I always wondered if I could still joke with him like this. It still gnawed at me some nights.

“It’s because you’re cold hearted.” I expected him to laugh, I hoped he would. But instead, he smiled just as genuine as his old laughter, melting into my touch more than I thought he could ever. I hadn’t been able to predict what he would tell me. Couldn’t have read his lips even if I could see into the future.

“For everyone else, maybe. But not for you.” He was as honest as a man could be. With his eyelashes fluttering open, I could see it in his eyes now. How they looked back at me wide and awake. I felt my stomach flip. There was something there I had previously missed. Dancing along with the glowing of the fire in his irises, was the same spark he once carried when I was his and he was mine.

I didn’t even get to challenge it, teasing him and making him repeat his confessions. My lips stuttered on the first syllable, just before his hands smushed my cheeks with the force of how he grabbed me. He was firm, but not aggressive. He could never hurt me.

His lips molded against mine perfectly in my mind. He tasted like mint and hot chocolate. My hands tangled in his hair, his palms flat against my waist. With so little space between us, so much fever and pent up frustration, air became harder and harder to get. With each touch of his fingers, it was like tiny fires being sparked across my body.

He hadn’t even had to tell me what he felt then. Neither did I. In that moment my walls crumbled beneath my feet. All resistance was gone. In Conrad’s grasp, I felt less alone.

I knew it then. To Conrad, my mind games I played on myself, my temper and the storms that would inevitably cloud up my sunniest days, the fact that I could never give him peace did not matter. We would always be enough.

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher angst #conrad x reader #tsitp conrad #conrad x you #tsitp s2 #tsitp x reader #tsitp x y/n #fisher x reader #team conrad #conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher x reader

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blues824 · 2 years

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💐Imagine female douma being isekai'd in the the word of the remarried empress but douma reader became royalty.

🌈She became royalty after the empress and emprorr adopted her because of a high priest told them that her parents died (like in the comic douma's mother killed her husband and mistresses after finding out her cheated of her then ended herself ) and the high priest believed that she was a child giftd by God so allowing her to become anything lower than a lady would be a insult to the gods.

💐Her being a manipulatieve girl who doesn't know emotions until she met navier then she became happy for the first time.

(This picture disribes douma pretty well)

💐(like they also grew up together with navier and sovieshu but had to wear a vail to cover up her face because the empress and emprorr believed she was a child giftd by God so she was only allowed to show her face after she became the empress but after a lot of asking navier was the only person who was alowd to see her face )

🌈Imagine after years she became a empress and was invited by navier to te new years party and navier and sovieshu seeing her after a long time and then rattrash trying to befriend her only to meet her worse nightmare a angry douma who hates mistresses because they are filthy and unworthy of her and navier.

💐(like the female douma was always being told she was a goddess but she knew it's not true but she just went with it and used it to her advantage )

🌈And burning the party where she tells navier she is alowd to take of her veil after the dress drama to get the negative attention away from navier because people get to see her face for the first time and after hearing rumours about her face and why she wore it now they understand why she got called a goddess.

💐(imagine navier and the douma reader dancing together 2 beautiful empress dancing together making people jealous about their beauty and status )

🌈Honestly douma's eyes are the most beautiful eyes and I know she can out drama rattrash because douma learnd to copy emotions she never had so imagine rattrash trying to use her crocodile tears again her but failing so hard because of douma's manipulatieve personality and her being able to figure out she was not really crying and because of sovieshu becoming a simp for douma him not beleving rattrash

And navier trovi is the best qween I have ever.

I showed my mom that picture and she said, “Oh hell no”.

As a preface, I’m changing up the request a bit. Reader was taken in by the High Priest, but since he is so busy the Imperial Family offered to raise her. She was raised alongside Sovieshu. We’re gonna forget that Krista exists and you were betrothed to King Wharton III (Heinrey’s brother).

Sovieshu was technically your adopted brother. His parents took you in because the High Priest asked, and who wouldn’t want to get on his good side? Plus, he said that you were a gift of the gods. If the Imperial Family had the chance to care for a child of the gods, they were going to take it.

He always knew that you were apathetic, what with not crying at funerals or rejoicing at weddings. No. Sure, he couldn’t see your expressions because of your veil, but he can read your body language just fine. He somewhat admired your ability to fake emotion through your body.

At some point, he developed a crush on you. You weren’t related at all, and you weren’t legally his sibling. The sad realization that you both were going to marry other people hit him like a truck. Someone else would be able to gaze upon your face, and it wasn’t going to be him.

When Navier invited you to the New Year’s Party, Sovieshu was excited. Sure, a lot has happened since you last saw each other, but surely you would be happy for him? Wrong. You, in fact, called him ‘a piece of trash for treating Navier like his father treated his mother’. He couldn’t even see your face, but he could feel the disgusted look you were giving him.

Speaking of tea being spilled, Sovieshu saw how you gracefully made your way to the dance floor. That is where you finally revealed your face. The Emperor watched as his wife walked up to you and asked for a dance. He had to admit that he was incredibly jealous that it wasn’t himself dancing with you.

Rashta has heard about you. It was hard not to. Your reputation precedes you as a ‘child of the gods’. Everyone knew about you, and everyone knew that you had never shown your face to the public. From the looks of it, you didn’t even show either the Emperor or Empress (the latter part wasn’t true, though).

She eavesdropped on one of Sovieshu’s and Navier’s supposed-to-be-private conversations and they were reminiscing about you. She was jealous because it seems as though the Emperor missed you the most. She quickly corrected herself because she didn’t want to offend the gods.

She asks around the palace to try and gather information about you. She is very curious, and most of the servants as well as visiting nobles seem to have good things to say about you. They really worshiped you as though you were a goddess yourself.

When she finds out that Navier invited you to the New Year’s Party, she was excited. What she did not expect was for you to be introduced as the Queen of the Western Empire or for you to completely ignore her and Sovieshu and go straight to Navier. In fact, when you did get introduced to each other, your first statement was ‘I know who you are’.

Rashta watched as you and Navier walked hand-in-hand to the dance floor. You both danced so beautifully. Then, the Empress gently lifted your veil. You smiled as everyone gasped. The young mistress was angry that all the attention was off of her and onto you. As you and Navier walked off the floor, you looked in Rashta’s direction, gave a little pout, and used a finger to signify a tear falling down your face.

Navier was introduced to you when she was handpicked by the Emperor to marry Sovieshu. Everyone has heard of the Imperial Family volunteering to care for the child that the High Priest deemed a ‘child of the gods’, so she was excited to meet you.

The four of you (you, Navier, Sovieshu, and Kosair) became close as children. You were betrothed to the (then) Crowned Prince of the Western Kingdom, Prince Wharton III. As a child, Navier was saddened at the prospect of you having to move such a long distance away. In private, you took off your veil and showed her as a seal to the promise that you both would remain close no matter what.

She knew about Sovieshu’s and Kosair’s crushes on you. She harbored no romantic interest in Sovieshu, so she was completely fine with it. In fact, she tried to push either one into confessing. No dice. At least you both stayed true to your promise and you wrote to each other quite frequently.

She always invited you to every New Year’s Party, but every single time your husband was sickly and you couldn’t attend. However, when you wrote to her saying you would be able to come, she was delighted. She sent a servant to tell her husband about the news as she got prepared for the party.

During said party, you noticed that the dress drama was getting to Navier, so you had a suggestion. You both would dance and she would lift your veil to reveal your face. The floor was cleared for the two of you, and you both danced gracefully. In the middle, Navier gently removed your veil as you smiled. She was shocked to see how much you had grown, but so glad she could see your beautiful eyes again.

Heinrey was your brother-in-law. You were betrothed to his older brother from a very young age, and when you both got married he noticed how you actually won the love of the people with hard work and dedication. You ruled with a stern fist, and he respected that about you.

He was aware that the marriage between you and his brother was one of convenience, but not of union. You weren’t a child of the Eastern Empire, so you couldn’t unite the two countries. However, it was more of an act of goodwill, what with you being a child of the gods.

You treated him like a younger brother, but there was no emotion behind any of your actions. You did what made sense, what was most logical. You told him stories of your childhood in the Eastern Empire and of Navier, Sovieshu, and Kosair. It was then that he grew a fascination towards the Empress.

You were both invited to the New Year’s Party, but the invitations were a cause of laughter between you, your husband, and Heinrey. You were invited on Navier’s behalf, Heinrey was invited on Sovieshu’s behalf. Once arrived, the Crowned Prince of the Western Kingdom just awkwardly stood there (simping over Navier) while you gave the Empress a hug. You didn’t even bother to acknowledge the Emperor or his mistress.

Later on in the evening, the dance floor was emptied. Heinrey watched as you and Navier walked step-by-step towards each other until you met in the middle. The way you danced was as graceful as flowing water in a peaceful river. In the middle of the dance, she lifted your veil to reveal your face. It was the first time the Prince saw your face at all, let alone seeing pure joy being expressed by you. Did his Queen have the same effect on you?

Bonus: Kosair was introduced to you when Navier was handpicked by the Emperor to marry Sovieshu. All the noble families knew how the Imperial Family took you in and volunteered to raise you in place of the High Priest. Even though he already hated the Prince, he had to admit that he was excited to meet you.

He never noticed your apathetic personality because you were really good at faking your emotions through your voice and your body language. He wasn’t permitted to see your face, so he wasn’t able to see your expressions. However, he probably wouldn’t have noticed the fake smile you always wore.

You were a marvel to him. Even without seeing your face, you made him fall in love with you. When the news came that you were betrothed to the Crowned Prince of the Western Kingdom, he was devastated. Navier had to hold him back from doing anything that could tarnish the family’s reputation.

After the Imperial Family’s New Year’s Party, you had written to Kosair saying that you were in-town and would love to see him before you had to go back home. Once he had received the letter, he was in the palace the next day. He asked to be led to your chambers and you gave him a hug upon seeing him. You spent the majority of the day just catching up.

It was then where he confessed the feelings he had harbored for you for years. You, not really feeling anything, faked your sadness. You explained that if you had known sooner, you would have fought all you could so that you could marry him instead of your actual husband. Great job, Y/N. You made him mentally beat himself up even more.

Bonus: Grand Duke Kaufman was introduced to you formally while he visited the Western Kingdom. However, like everyone else, he has previously heard about you and your connection to the gods. It intrigued him, to say the least. It’s not like every Imperial Family raises a child for the High Priest.

He had also heard how you ruled your Kingdom with a string and firm hand, leading your subject with wisdom beyond your years. You often had to step in place of the King, and you did it well. When he visited to talk about negotiations between Luipt and the W.K., you knew his language. He was both shocked and not.

Your words were calculated and you evaluated every option and their consequences. You both had decided that it was smarter to wait and negotiate with the Eastern Empire than to make a decision presently. That was when the messenger came in with 3 invitations for you, Kaufman, and Heinrey to go to the New Year’s Party.

At said party, the Grand Duke was surprised at how you only paid attention to the Empress rather than greeting the Emperor. In fact, the latter was also shocked. You called both Sovieshu and his mistress the ‘lowest of the low’ and told them how they should be ashamed of themselves.

Later on in the evening, Kaufman noticed how everyone vacated the dance floor. The music changed to a nice waltz, and you and Navier were the only ones in the center of the room. As you both danced, the Empress gently lifted your veil. He had never seen someone so beautiful, and it made him a tinge jealous of your husband. No wonder you were said to be a deity.

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jeankluv · 10 months

Text

Snow on the beach || Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Words: 3.2K

Warnings: Doffy, swearing

Note: chapter 8 already, wow I’m so happy that people keep supporting this silly fic of mine. Thank you. And enjoy ❤️

If you want to be add to the tag list let me know on comments 🫶

Previous chapeter || Materialist || Next chapter

Chapter VIII: Three Brothers

Law looked at the three boys in front of him with tired eyes. He was supposed to leave 30 minutes ago but the most chaotic siblings of the whole town appeared at the last minute.

“Ah!” The youngest cried, making a pout.

“Don't be a cry baby Luffy!” The freckles one said.

“Sorry! But Ace, Torao it’s not being nice!” Luffy reproached.

“That’s what happens when you decide to get the sled when there was no snow, you wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t be angry because I would have been in my house half an hour ago.”

“We are really sorry Dr. Trafalgar.” The blonde one spoke this time.

“Yeah sorry and please don’t mention any of this to Corazon.” Ace said.

“Why?”

“Because then he will tell Sengoku and Sengoku will tell our grandpa and… we don’t want to face him, he is terrifying.” Ace explained.

Law nodded. “I won’t tell anyone.” The three boys sighed in relief. “But you better not show up here at this hour ever again.”

“Don’t worry Dr. Trafalgar, it won’t happen.” Sabo said.

“Okay now, you can leave.”

“Thank you Torao!” Luffy smiled. “And by the way, can you tell y/n hi from me? I couldn’t visit her this weekend.” Law nodded and the boy left the room with a big smile.

Law stretched out in his seat and put away all his things, he was running late, surely you would have been home for a while by now. He left his office, waving goodbye to the few people that were left, he got in his car and started going back home.

He felt frustrated, he really wanted to take you home that night, and give you a small gift he bought earlier that day for you. It was a stupid gift and you probably could wait but he really wanted to see you and enjoy your company, even if it was for a few minutes. You made him feel like a completely different person and at first, when you tried to enter his life with that big smile and big dove eyes he hated it, he couldn’t understand why Corazon liked you so much. He thought you were just one of those city girls that wanted to experience living in an isolated town, take pictures of it, post them in social media and leave after three days, but you turned out to be different.

He exhaled in frustration, he had arrived home without realizing it. He turned off the engine and headed towards your house, you were probably still awake and he really wanted to see you. Law knocked on the door three times, but got no response, your lights were completely off and nothing could be heard inside the house. Maybe you were still in the restaurant? Something inside him told him that he should go to the restaurant quickly. He walked down the stairs to your porch and he got into the car, starting it quickly. That feeling in his chest area was there and it was making him nervous.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

You were still hugging yourself and keeping yourself away from that man. You looked both sides trying to see if you could spot a familiar face but the streets were empty and the bus was running late.

“Sir.” You spoke. “I don’t the person you are looking for, now I would prefer for you…”

“Oh c’mon sweet y/n…” He smiled. You trembled, you had not told him your name at any time. “I know you know him. Don’t play games with me.”

“I’m not playing games with you sir.” You tried to breathe but you felt like you were running out of it.

“It’s okay sweetheart, I won’t hurt you or anything.” The nickname made you want to throw up.

“But… will you hurt Law?”

“Hmn… only if he doesn’t do what I told him.”

“You’re absolutely disgusting, once the police find out about…” You spotted talking when he put his hand on your mouth.

“I told you I was not going to hurt you but sweetheart if you disrespect me or even turn me to the police, I won’t hesitate. Besides, I know you have a little sister, don’t you?” You swallowed under his hand, feeling how your eyes were getting teary. How did he know? You only mentioned having a sister to Nami and Law and you knew that none of them would ever tell this man. “So now you get it sweetheart?” You nodded and he let your mouth free, with that you spent a few steps away from him and tried to calm yourself.

“Oi y/n!” You heard a voice, a voice you were familiar with and a voice you were glad to hear.

You turned around to see the happiest boy in the world running in your direction, followed by two boys you didn't know about. You let out all the air that had been building up in your lungs for minutes, and smiled.

“Y/n!” He hugged you when he reached you. “What are you doing here? The restaurant was closed already.”

“I was waiting for the bus to go home.”

“Oh!” He nodded. “I see…” You glanced to your side, to see if the boss was still there, and yeah he was, not moving an inch, you hoped that with the presence of Luffy and his two friends, he would leave. “Do you know my brothers y/n?”

You tilted your head. “Brothers? I didn’t know you had.”

“Yep.” He smiled. “This is Ace.” He pointed at the black haired boy with freckles. “And this one is Sabo.” He pointed at the blonde one. “Guys this is y/n!”

“Nice to meet you y/n, we have heard a lot from you.” Sabo spoke.

“Oh for real?” You were surprised.

“Yeah Luffy talks a lot. You probably already noticed that.” Ace spoke this time and you smiled. Ace then put his eyes on the boss and he nudged Sabo a little so he would look at him too.

“Excuse me sir.” Sabo spoke and walked a few steps closer to the boss. “Are you looking for someone or something here?”

“Was he bothering you y/n?” Ace whispered to you.

You wanted to nod but you were afraid that man could hurt them, if you said anything.

“Y/n you can trust us, don’t worry.” It was Luffy this time.

“It’s okay guys. I was just waiting for my bus and this man appeared here. But nothing to worry about.” You lied, with a fake smile on your face.

“If the lady feels uncomfortable, I will leave.” The boss spoke. “Have a good night, hopefully we can meet in another circumstance.” Hopefully not. He started to walk away.

“You sure everything was alright y/n?” Sabo approached. You nodded again assuaging them everything was okay, although it was not true. “We can talk with the police if you want.”

“If you meet him and he bothers you, don’t hesitate to tell us. We will kick his ass.” Luffy said with a determined look on his face.

“Luffy, relax. Look what happened the last time you kicked someone’s ass.” Sabo sighed.

Luffy pouted. “But…” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter, y/n is my friend and if that sunglassed guy bothers her I will send him flying.”

Ace rolled his eyes and smiled. “Y/n we will stay with you until the bus comes.”

“Oh there is no…”

“It wasn’t a question, we will stay.” Sabo said and sat down on the bus stop, followed by Ace and Luffy.

“Thank you.” You sat with them.

“So tell us y/n what were you doing before ending up here? It’s strange for us to get new people.” Ace asked.

“Mhm… well I just needed a peaceful place to stay. This was a good option.” You shook your head.

“It’s peaceful but sometimes it’s boring.” Luffy sighed.

“Getting bothered sometimes it’s good, Luffy. You started to pay attention to things you weren’t paying before.” You smiled. “I really liked it here, I mean I got the chance to meet you.” You looked at him.

“I’m also glad you came here.” He smiled and hugged you.

You smiled and hugged him back. “I didn’t know you had brothers.”

“Yep.” He smiled. “Ace, Sabo and I, we were raised together and became brothers.” You nodded.

“We were raised by Dadan, I don’t know if you have met her.” Ace explained and you shook your head. “It’s normal, she lives outside of the town and only comes from time to time.”

The three brothers explained to you how the three of them came from different backgrounds, how Sabo used to come every single weekend with his father and stepmother to spend the weekends at their house, but he would always sneak out to spend time with Ace first and then with Luffy too. Ace on the other hand, spent his whole life here, his mother died in childbirth and he didn’t know much about his father and honestly he didn’t care. As for Luffy, his grandfather raised him until he was four but then duty called and asked Dadan to look after him, his father apparently was someone important but Luffy couldn’t care less about it. The three of them bonded together and eventually they swore like brothers drinking sake.

You found heartwarming how they bonded with one another and how till this day, they are still together. Kelly was too young for you, she was still a baby, so that bond between you two was still not there. You hoped you could become someone who she could lean on, trust and watch as a role model. At least that’s what you used to want.

“Oh! Y/n!” Luffy took you back to reality. “Has Nami told you?”

“Told me? Was she supposed to?”

He nodded his head enthusiastically. “So every year, before Christmas we, the whole group, goes a few days . We stay in a cabin and enjoy the days on the frozen lake. This week we will be doing the same. Wanna c’mon?”

You thought for a moment, a mini vacation with your friends sounded amazing. “I would love to but the restaurant.”

“Don’t worry, Zeff usually closes the restaurant for a week before Christmas.” Ace said and Luffy nodded.

“Then yeah, sure.” You smiled and Luffy screamed in happiness. “Who is going?”

“Well… the group you already know, Sabo, will bring his girlfriend Koala and Ace will be bringing a friend of his, Yamato right?” Ace nodded. “You should ask Torao if he wants to come. Apparently you are the only one that is able to convince him or do this.” You laughed.

“I will try, but I can not promise anything.” You spot your bus coming. “Oh that’s my bus.” You stand up and the three boys did the same. “Thank you again for what you did.”

“There is no need y/n.” Sabo said.

“Yeah, don’t worry, you’re our little brother's friend and now you’re ours too, so we will always help you.” Ace said with a smile on his face.

“Yeah y/n you can count on us!” Luffy said.

“Thank you guys. I really appreciate it.” You hugged each of them. “I hope we see each other soon.”

The three of them nodded in unison and you couldn't help but giggle. You got on the bus and sat by the window to say goodbye to them from there. The three of them waved goodbye to you and you did the same until you lost sight of them. You leaned your head against the glass, it was still going to take you a while to get home, unlike the trips with Law in his car, here it was going to take longer because of the stops he made.

Law.

You closed your eyes remembering what happened before the brothers showed up. Now you understand why Law wanted to push you away, why was he so terrified for you. The boss already knew about your sister, which means he probably also knew about your mom and David too. It made you shake with the thought of them getting hurt once again because of you. You wanted them to be safe and okay, but being away you couldn’t be there to protect them. Although you knew there was a way to protect them, even if you were kilometers away.

No.

No you didn’t want to think about that possibility, you simply didn’t want it. What type of coward would you be if after telling Law to rely on you, not to push you away, to let you help him, you started to push him away, you would do exactly that, push him away. Leave him alone. Leaving there was not an option either. You didn't want to continue running away and you didn't want to abandon the people you had met in this town. There had to be some option, one where you wouldn't put your family's lives in danger, where you wouldn't have to stay away from Law, and where you could help him get rid of that man.

“Lady?” You heard from the front of the bus. “Isn’t this your stop?” You looked around and it fact it was.

“Yes it is. Thank you and have a good night.” You said leaving the bus.

You walked towards your house, there was no car parked at Law's house. He missed you, maybe Law was still working, that's why he hadn't shown up to pick you up. You entered the house and quickly went to the bathroom, you needed to take a hot shower after today.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Zeff and Sanji had told him that you had left a while ago. From what she assumed you had gone to the bus stop, Law walked or rather ran to the bus stop, hoping to find you sitting there. But you weren't there and Law could feel his heart speed up instantly and he knew it wasn't because he just ran, but because of that strange feeling that had been present in his stomach since he hadn't found you home when he returned.

“Oh! Torao!” Law cursed under his breath, right now Luffy was the person he least wanted to see. “What are you doing here? Searching for y/n? She just left.”

Law turned his body to meet Luffy and his brothers. “Have you seen y/n?” The three brothers nodded in unison.

“Yeah, she just left. We made sure she got safely after that weird man was with her.” Sabo talked this time.

Law swallowed, those words from Sabo had left his mouth dry. "What man?"

“Don’t know man. He was weird, he was wearing glasses and…” Ace was explaining when Law cut him off.

“Glasses?” It was him, he was certain about it. “And you made sure she got on the bus safely? There was no one strange on the bus.”

“No, she was the only one on it. She probably already got home or she is about to.”

Law nodded and without saying a single word, he began walking back to his car. He didn't have time to talk to those three, he had to see you and make sure you were okay and that asshole Doflamingo hadn't done anything to you. Just like before in a blink he was already getting of the car and going straight to your front door. He knocked on the door but there was no response, Law's pulse accelerated by the moment, and if Doflamingo had followed you here and if you were in danger?

He bit the inside of his cheek, he knew that he shouldn't enter other people's houses but you weren't responding and knowing that Doflamingo had been with you minutes before, they left him no other alternative.

He knew that Mrs. Smith kept a key on top of the door frame; more than once when he was young, she had called him to get it after leaving the keys inside. He entered the house and started calling your name, it was dark and cold inside.

“Fuck y/n…” He whispered to himself, searching for you.

He went up the stairs with long strides, when.

“Ah!” You shouted in front of him. Law opened his eyes when he saw you, you were there in front of him and you seemed fine. Although there was also something else. “What are you doing here Law?!” You covered yourself. You were only wearing a towel, which barely covered you up to your thighs.

“I…” Law swallowed, he could feel his cheeks burning. This had never happened to him but he didn't expect to find it like this when he entered your house like that. Law turned to avoid looking at you. “I’m really sorry y/n, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

You looked at his back and lowered your head, you would swear you had seen his blushing cheeks. “I am.” You said. “I was taking a shower.”

He nodded, still facing away from you. “Hmm, I'll be down. I need to talk with you."

“Alright… I’ll go change, I’ll be there in a minute.” And you walked towards your room passing by Law.

Law looked down when he saw you walking in front of him, damn he looked like a hormonal teenager at that moment. He quickly went down to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water.

You leaned against the door of your bedroom, God, your heart was racing. And you didn't know if it was because of the scare that Law had given you, of her seeing you practically naked or because of the fact that she had appeared before you with the most worried expression you had ever seen. Law was back at your house, at night, and after realizing your feelings today, him being here didn't help in the slightest.

You took your pijama and changed to it, and made a braid on your wet hair. You looked at yourself in the mirror and inhaled. A question was running through your head and it was if Law was here because he had also met the boss.

You went down the stairs quietly and could see Law's figure sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands. You walked up there and whispered a shy “hello.” Law turned to look and when he saw you there, he got up from the couch, standing in front of you. Making you have to lift your head to look him in the eyes. Law swallowed and licked his lips before speaking.

“You’re alright… You’re here.” He said almost like a whisper.

“Yeah, I’m here.” You smiled at him.

Law watched you for a few moments and then pulled you closer to him, hugging you. You were frozen in place. That action had caught you off guard. You could feel Law's heart beating rapidly in his chest, and it sped up even more when you wrapped your arms around him. Staying even closer to each other.

“I’m so fucking glad you’re okay y/n.” He whispered to your ear. “You have no idea.”

Tag list: @phsycochan @punem699

#law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x y/n #one piece x reader #law x you #trafalgar law x you

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