#I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO LAUGH

[blackvelvetcorvid]

guys istg the funniest thing happened the other day

I was drawing lenore and annabel and this seven year old was like asking questions about them right?

And she stops, looks at me, and goes "wait, SHES A HOMOSEXUAL"

And she walked around for the rest of the evening very proudly/concernedly (not sure which) telling every one that annabel was, in fact a homosexual.

[lumoy-stuff]

man, the fnaf movie was crazy. even jesus was in the audience

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

The way I had to use every ounce of willpower in my soul to keep my face neutral when a patient I just saw told me they’ll be moving to Sweden in two days so no, they will not be making a follow-up appointment in our outpatient clinic. 🇺🇸🚫

[swaggypsyduck]

so lets say in some universe hakimi and mbappe get together. the fact that their biggest problem would be the fact that they r algerian and moroccan makes me laugh. case in point a conversation i overheard in class:

algerian 1: mbappe needs to stay away from hakimi

algerian 2: because its starting to look gay?

algerian 1: what? oh well yah i guess its gay. but my biggest problem is that hakimi is moroccan.

[singswan-springswan]

my friend just told me she got scarred for life reading a joe biden/donald trump fic. okay. coffee shop au rated as explicit. girl what were you thinking

[shurisbathwater]

me watching my family in Africa slander Homosexuals like I am not a full blown one that they just don't know about

[yesiknowimshort]

today my mother and brother were fighting and she was whooping his ass while the papa’s cheesearia theme song was playing in the background

[flamefatalis]

Me, showing my class a video about the benefits of hydroponics: Okay, so we need a way to sustainably feed our growing population, what options do we have?

One stu/dent with absolutely ZERO hesitation: CANNIBALISM.

Me:

[guzmapkmn-archive]

Some guy called me ma'am and his wife went "It's a sir!!!"

[itsthe-tism]

There's some girls behind me arguing about whether bagpipes are Scottish or Irish. It's going something like this;

Girl 1: yknow that one instrument? Uh bagpipes? Those are Scottish right?

Girl 2: *very confidently* no bagpipes are Irish!

Girl 1: really?

Girl 2: yea they're Irish! Irish! They're known as Irish bagpipes.

Girl 1: oohhhhhh

Girl 2: this girl doesn't know her instruments. Yknow people get that mixed up all the time.

So the verdict they decided on is that bagpipes are Irish, which is not the case I would know I played them for a while and now I do highland dance which is to bagpipes. But it would be kinda weird for some stranger to go "actually ☝️🤓"

[mira--mira]

God kids are so funny. I asked a little girl what she was going to be for Halloween and she said a black cat, so I told her I had a black cat. She was super interested until I told her his name was Demo and then she stopped and told me, with a very serious, emotionless face, that was a weird name for a cat.

[wigglesforsquiggles]

would not recommend watching funny videos at work bc it is difficult to pretend you're grinning at a company's ESG report

[total-serene560]

So today I wrote fanfic on my phone while sitting at a community college club fair as S&M by Rihanna was positively Blasting in the mostly-empty cafeteria.

[sunkissedintheblue]

Forget about saying 'same to you' to your waiter and calling it embarrassing. I said bless you to a guy who farted.

[arre-yaar]

when someone you know constantly ignores you when you're in a different context at one point it goes from "ok weird" to actually hilarious how adamantly they choose not to acknowledge your existence

[charlietheepicwriter7]

The Joker was apprehended, sitting on the ground as Batman guarded him, but the kid--"Bruce Wayne's newest ward, how tragic! Hehehe!"--was nowhere to be found. Nightwing and Red Hood desperate searched the warehouse until a shuffling noise grabbed their attention.

A kid, black haired just like the kid in the Joker's broadcast, crawling out of a pile of boxes. "Is it over?" the boy asked quietly.

Nightwing guided him to the only exit, unfortunately walking past the boy's own kidnapper. "Yeah, kid. It's over. Come on-"

Like a shot, the boy rushed the Joker and kicked him right in the balls.

The Joker wheezed like a dying squeaky toy. Red Hood froze. Nightwing immediately snatched the boy up by the armpits, but all that did was give the boy the height to attack again, punting Joker in the jaw. The clown went down and cracked his head on the floor. He did not get back up.

There was a moment of silence before Red Hood roared with laughter, his helmet distorting the sound.