#I WROTE A SONG ABOUT GETTING BETTER. ITS A FEELING THAT I CANT REMEMBER

[gingeredmink]

Catarou Charm /ᐠ - ˕ -マ

DL LINK

[indirectcomedian]

tatum in the knocked loose shirt giving me ideas

[cynthiesjmxazrielslover]

Bittersweet love

An original AUmodernAzriel x Reader

these songs remind me of them <3333

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mention of trauma Summary: Growing up with your abusive father and your mother who never spoke up against him, you had truly given up hope of any chance of a real relationship, of real love, the ones of the kind that you read about in your books, till you're proven wrong.

A/N: this is my first fic ever+english isnt my first language, and I wrote this in a daze, the idea came to me at like 3 AM,so....enjoy muah<3 Thump.....thump. DAMN IT CAROLINE GET OUT HERE! Another night another fight, that too on their anniversary, a classic. I scoff thinking about all the picture-perfect smiles and the absolutely lovely speech my dad had read out for my mom tonight, a show, it was all a show, no one knew what went inside our house every week, how my dad hit my mom, screamed at her and then bought ridiculously expensive gifts for her as if that would fix everything. I was so so tired of their useless fights, every time it all ended the same way, with my mom never leaving. I heard the rain outside before I saw it. One thing about me was that I always loved the rain, growing up, and till now it just felt right to cry under its cover, to cry with it, to admire how beautiful it felt to be enveloped in her comfort and just...let everything go. I sneaked out my window and walked out of our backyard. There was an abandoned house right behind mine, I spread rumors just so everyone thought, it was either haunted or inhabited, in truth it was my den. Snacks, clothes, comfy blankets, duvets, you name it. It had all I needed to feel better. When I entered my lair I noticed that most of my snacks were empty and the empty packets pristine clean. Oh no, someone had discovered the truth, I turned around only to find a pair of hazel eyes staring back at me, the darkness enveloped him, I couldn't see him, but guessed well enough he was taller than me. I cursed at myself for being stupid enough to enter an abandoned place at night in the middle of a heavy down pour. No, no, no, no. I stepped back I couldn't die like this, not in this shit hole. "Um, hello there. Are you okay? you just seem a little pale" I gaped at him. He had the most alluring voice id ever heard on a man and damn did it mess with my senses. "I won't hurt you, I promise. Look I'm not armed plus I dont even have enough energy to argue right now." He stepped a bit closer enough that I could make out his silhouette illuminated by the moonlight. His hazel eyes were a sweet honey brown shade, tanned skin, muscles, tall as frick, and hot too. Holy crap this guy looked straight out of a book. "Hello?". Realizing I'd been gaping at it the whole time it took me second to remember the situation I'd found myself in before I said "Hi, Im Lana" I lied, my name wasnt lana but i wasnt gonna tell some random guy who ate my snacks AND all my blueberry sour candy my name, Im not that dumb. He steps out of the shadows so i could get a proper look at him, and so he could look at me i realize. "Hello Lana, Im Azriel". I looked at him, really looked at him noticed 3 things, 1. He didnt look much older than me, meaning either he was in school or in college, 2. He was wearing my oversized hoodie which looked a little too small on him, and 3. He looked in a bad shape. He had bruises on his face marring his body, burned hands, swollen eye and looked cold, very cold and malnourished. He looked almost......homeless.

I snuck a glance outside.

I silently swore, if this man- Azriel, stayed here any longer he would DIE, either of fever or due to infection. I might already have brought a one way ticket to the deepest darkest pits of hell but doesnt mean he did. Without a thought i spit out "Come to my house". "Im sorry what?" he chuckled out smirking at me as a flush crept over me. "I-I meant that you cant stay here, there's heavy rain and its cold here. pfft that's totally what i meant" i stammer out. Reminder to curl up and die in a corner later on. He furrows his brow at my statement, a hint of amusement on his face. "Haven't you heard of stranger danger Lana?" He pipes out, his voice low and gravelly. "I doubt an 18 year old guy who wears Minnie Mouse hoodies with dora the explorer socks and a pink bow pajamas would try to kidnap me" Okay now this dude was really crossing it for me. Reminder number 2- Drown these clothes in holy water before wearing them again. Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. "I still look better in these than you could ever. But you're smart and these clothes fit me like a fucking tank top and shorts, so yes, Lana, I'll come to your house. Only because Im freezing out here" He added FRICK. FRICK THIS WAS A BAD,BAD IDEA

Azriels POV I stepped out of the shower, steam rising from the hot water. I smelled like lavender soap and vanilla- The scent of real men. I put on the fresh pair of clothes Lana gave me, A little smaller than what i wore but better than those hoodies of hers anyway. I saw her reading a book when i stepped out, no gods not another book-obsessed psycho. She motioned for me to sit down and applied some bandages, honey, and anti-septic cream and gave me some medecine, pain killers i guessed. She seemed to know what she was doing, better than going to a doctor if it meant it was free and she wasn't going- "Who gave you get these" My chain of thoughts are interrupted by her words. "I got myself banged up by a....raccoon?" A raccoon? A RACCOON? Thats the best I could come up with? Telling a girl that i got banged up by a raccoon? She laughs at my answer. It's not a soft melodic sound like i expected but a burst of laughter. She snorts and smirks at me. "Damn, a raccoon huh? Wait,does that mean your're pregnant now?Plus,what? did it tackle you to the ground with its little toe beans? What were you even fighting over, who gets the last thrown out doughnuts from the dumpster, oh, or, did she kick you out of the house instead? You're lovely raccoon wife." She laughs out, barely able to form the sentence without controlling her laughter. I roll my eyes but I cant help smile, I knew very little about this girl but i did know 4 things, 1. She was a terrible liar, introducing herself under a fake name when her name was written under every single one of her drawings, 'y/n' I liked that name, it sounded different yet familiar on my tongue. 2.She might have just saved my life 3. She had a very good taste in candy and 4. we are about to become very, very, very good friends, something I hadn't had in a while. Tell me in the comments if you want to be tagged in the next parts, plus im open to supportive constructive criticism so let me know how i can improve =) taglist: @anarchiii @starlightazriel @velarisdusk @siriuslystyle1989 @scorpioriesling

[fallinginaforrest]

SPOILER WARNING FOR WORKIN BOYS, I BREAK DOWN MY FAVOURITE SHOTS. SPOILERS WILL BE HERE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Okay here's my opinion:

Curt being the DP for Workin' boys is the best thing that coulda happened to it. There are so many choices that were made during filming that just absolutely heighten the level of comedy. It's shot like a Mockumentary almost? The shakycam and the randomized movement? As someone who wrote a Mockumentary last year, I can only dream of pulling off a film like this.

A couple things I wanna point out:

-the minuscule push in on Hidgens when he realises he won the workshop competition feels very office-ey.

-the cut back to MK's amused face had me WHEEZING

-the pan over to Paul as be reminds Hidgens to remember the changes

-"apparently a musical about six men bonding on a football field isnt 'of the times..."'etc, this line right here felt like a talking head, I appreciated it.

-those time cards eg: "Rehearsal #2, 28 days until opening" lent itself so much to the documentarian feel of it.

-"wow, what an auteur", not a camerawork comment but I appreciate the joke for all of the film and theater theory studiers

-the "rehearsal montage" I love a good meta joke.

-even in this montage, the camera is never really onstage. At all. Like, it's always situated off to the side or in the audience, and then zoomed in, the documentarian is trying to capture all of the action on stage instead of trying to make us feel immersed in the rehearsal process. We're not really aligned with any of the characters, we're an audience, and we better stay that way. For our own sake.

-and then this dynamic totally changes, and shifts away from the mockumentary feel

-but I'll get to that in a second

-henry is almost always by himself in the shot. I think the one of the only other times that the entirety of another character's face is seen alongside Henry's (I mean, both faces are CLEAR and uncovered in the shot) is in the two shot of him and Paul's stage manager in the rehearsal montage. He is totally singular in his experiences with this show! He is not one of these girls, if anything he is opposed to them. And this becomes clearer later, but it's a nice seed to sow, establishing that he is not in a collaborative mindset at all. The only other time I can think of is him and Zoey behind the curtain, even then, the only time both of their faces are actually IN the shot is when they're behind all the workin' girls. There's probably more but ykwim.

-also the sheer number of times that Henry is off centre in the shot with just a bunch of space surrounding him.

-okay after "two week notice" or whatever tf that song is called (Kim sounds amazing as always) is when the style shifts. It feels less like a mockumentary and more like this sort of voyeuristic peek into Henry's psyche. I LOVE IT.

-the fact that he is never shown in the shot with the workin' boys! It makes you absolutely feel like he is just talking to the air around him (this is hatchetfield so who knows, either way its unsettling)

-we get aligned with ruth, for the first time, we see the audience from the perspective of a character, not just from a stage POV

-the camera roll!! We don't get a full rotation but we feel dizzy and unsettled when we look at ruth, which is exactly how she feels!

-camera roll close up on Zoey. Uncomfortable, unsettling! Rests in a canted angle before continuing to roll on Hidgens! Who is centered in a low angle shot! We don't see the axe until he brings it up to his face! He is not only in a position of power here, but revealing the axe only when Henry makes it clear he is gonna kill them makes it clear that he calls the shots! We've departed from the Mockumentary style completely, as if this was never a documentary to begin with, more like we're flies on the wall or spirits in the theater or omniscient eldritch beings... anyway-

-long shot of Henry dragging zoey's body, no footage of them being killed, aligns us with the audience

-our friend the camera is getting shakey again, the chaos is in the process of ensueing

-THE PULL OUT SHOT OF GRACE WITH THE GUN. I GASPED. I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND I GASPED. Fun fact on my first watch I thought this was a dolly shot but I dont think y'all are fitting a dolly on the Hudson theater main stage steps, and also the distance is too short so it must have been a pull out. It was REALLY SMOOTH.

-notice, when grace quotes the bible, we are EVER SO SLIGHTLY looking up at her. It gets progressively more obvious the further she gets into the line, but she has the power now. Somehow she always ends up with the fuckin' power, maybe I should convert to christianity smh.

-shakeycam is back again baby!

The creative minds put so much love and care into Hatchetfield, and you can tell that every project is a passion project. People know starkid primarily as a theater company, and that's great and all, but in reality it's an Avenue for all kind of creatives to not only have the opportunity to create all kinds of amazing things, let alone theater, but also have a way to show people. It's moved past being a theater company, with things like Starkid returns and Workin' boys, it's more like a production collective, and it feels like the beginning of a new era. Not only in terms of broadening the way that they Express themselves and be creative, but also in terms of finding a new niche in the industry. Finding a new, wider audience. Because yeah, you're always gonna have people that dislike the new media you produce, for nostalgia's sake or whatever, but beyond that, there are going to be be people that absolutely love what you have to offer. There's no point in trying to revert back to the way it was before, or trying to cater specifically to an audience from an era gone by. How do you grow as an artist if you're always thinking in the past? Starkid is moving in a new direction. The next musical is likely not going to be hatchetfield, but I dont even mind because it's going to be new. New is always good, and Starkid has a bright future.

TL;DR @curtmega you're a literal genius, and starkid is TOTALLY AWESOME

[thegreatimpersonator]

honestly sometimes i feel like people in this fandom can get so obsessed with who taylor wrote her songs about and treat it like its the end all of her musics value to such an intense degree and im just sitting here. relating the songs i can to my personal life to my personal life, the songs i can to fictional characters to fictional characters, and enjoying the ones i cant relate to either on their own merit and focusing on taylors song writing not her dating history (and i feel like im having decently more fun than those people more often than not lol)

I remember a post here being like why do you want to think of a bland white guy when you listen to her music 😭 and like. lmaooo true tbh i could very well imagine my blorbos or better, my own self here!

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

okay but hold me like you scared to sounds so good already (they all sound so good tbh but this one piqued my interest lol) what's it about? and for the fanfic questions 32, 50 and J :))

@frappe-the-peppermint WE GOT ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ahem oh wow who said that. anyway ill do the questions first then get into fic discussion…

32) Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

i listen to SO MUCH MUSIC!!!!! it depends on what im wrting tbh but i just queue up a bunch of songs in my liked playlist and write and write until it ends or im no longer on that flow. and well my music taste is an absolute mess so there isnt any one definitive band or genre that does it for me (i only pay attention Sometimes) but i suppose artists like mitski and queen would be a decent summary of my taste 😅

50) How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

gravity falls, no stop. the first one that ever piqued my interest was versability (originally on ff.net me thinks) and god damn it HOOKED ME!!!! gravity falls was already getting me up but wow that just got me SO MUCH HIGHER. i have a few authors i started binge reading like thesnadger and pinesinthewoods, i started extracting fics from reccs from tumblr artists, soon discovered ao3, and never looked back. and as for writing fic,,,,, well frankly it was the search for the cure’s original form that got me GOING!!!! it originally had crappy ocs as the forefronters but i soon changed that lmao (im definitely not saying theyre bad in general, just those… no) and i wrote So Much For It on my notes app. i didnt realize i culd actually show people until way later, in which i did, and realized that it could actually be better. thats why i reversed back to part one, made the story a part two, scapped the ocs, and…now we’re here. i still love it and gravity falls, i dont really show it here anymore. i really should, man. i need to write for them again!!!! it still excites me!!!! and the prose that im weaving now,,,, id DEMOLISH THE GAME!!!!!!! :)

J) what your favorite fanfic trope? have you written it?

honestly i think just showing you my favorted ao3 tags will paint a very detailed picture. here:

though i suppose if i had to pick one here…god its between time loop and presumed dead (and grief/moruning but idk if thats a trope so much as it is a theme). MMMMMMMM. mmmmm. just YES. the psychological affects of both being a time loop and thinking someone you love is dead but they arent actually are DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! they are a MUST HAVE. i daydream constantly, but i havent written time loop yet because while i love it, i havent hadthe motive to write such a thing myself. reading is chill ✊ and presumed dead well i try to throw it is as much as i can, the most recent ive used being a west end town and my favorite being that one kid from jersey ! i need to do more of these fr. its just so GOOD!!!!!!

okay. its finally time for the brainwashing discussing of the fic ! i can tell you alllll about that story and it will be my pleasure sonny 🫡 its a very long story. but short verison in case you dont want to go on: its a Titanic epic . april 1912. iceberg. ive read a few that are AMAZING, but i wanted to write one that catered it allll to Me. it has lesbians, heaven sucking ass, flood parallels, and a king of the world AND draw me like one of your french girls scene. very nice 🔥

okay now its time for the long story. so a super super long time ago for a post i cant even remember (i really wanna find it 😭😭) i for someone reason went on a tangent about the titanic. i had just read this fic called sinking into the sea which was tbh VERY GOOD (and i would read it again fr fr ) but at the time, i was kinda bummed that aziraphale and crowley never actually Interacted when i had expected. aziraphale didnt even know crowley was there!!! it left me feeling melancholy, and realizing that all of the titanic fics ive ate up to that point didnt HIT hit the spot (i didnt find this after this realization, but again, theyre not even on the boat 🤧) so i was feeling a bit incomplete. i started ranting and ranting it was a wholeee wall of a text of what I would do with a titanic story and i realized oh wait i can Do Something with this because i haev free will and actual (somewhat) coherent skill. pepper jumped on the wagon, REALLY REALLY encouraged which i cant thank enough for, and….we’re here. its brewing. i had a very large interest in the titanic for a long time before this tbh, so being able to insert it into The Interest just JUMPSTARTED my brain and it still does to this day. now for the plot….

its 2020, a year after the apocalypse (no pandemic). anathema, newt, brian, crowley, and aziraphale have been assigned to plan adam’s 12th birthday party—they shenanigan, as you do. on the day of the party (adam’s birthday) anathema and newt find a chest in jasmine cottage’s attic full of titanic relics, including a pack of polaroid photos (handheld cameras did indeed exist in 1912, i checked !) which kinda might sort of have a photo of aziraphale and crowley!?!?! it was sent to them about six months before. but after the whole Second Volume fiasco, anathema just sort of wrote it off in that way and Hid It. but newt was curious, he found it, and god it was writtent his way wasnt it. (well, not by the nutter they were thinking of actually). anathema confronts them about itsoon after, and they all sit down to hear the story of the titanic in a sort of rose dawson beat. then its 1912—50ish years since the holy water incident and almost a century since the resurrectionists disaster. aziraphale has been assigned to take this trip to new york for Some Reason (we found out why later) and happened to invite crowley to come along to attempt to make amends after Allat (he really does feel bad, but he will NOT do the holy water thing yet </3) shit occurs, but history atlarge will not be rewritten. it does change their story, though. adding a sprinkle of interest in the device family line. agnes prophec(y)(ies), dancing on deck under the stars, playing cards with humans and winning by a Lot, aziraphale’s artistic skills are put to use at one point—ughghgufhits just so DEAR TO ME!!!!! and of course the conflict will come later, especially considering the religious connections to the titanic sinking—“not even God can sink this ship” type conversation 🥰 aziraphale can and will be made uncomfortable. its for the character development dont worry about it. i even have a playlist for this fic (it sorted by the way the tone shifts thru the story, some songs are silly but they had to stay). pep has also made some song covers to some of the songs that ive heavily connected to the fic and I REALLY FUCKING LIKED. LIKE A LOT. THEYRE AMAZING YOU SHOULD LISTEN IF YOU WANT TO!!!!

the point of all this is that i like titanic fics and im trying to throw my hat in the ring even if its just for me and my friend 🔥🔥 because while others have fed me, i havent seen ones that have documented like Every Single Day on the titanic that aziraphale and crowley would theoretically have as well as developing aziraphale and crowley’s relationship while taking into account whats happened before (insert the story into a part of the timeline seamlessly i think thats how i’d describe) AS WELL AS connecting the reason why the titanic was such a freak tragedy and how the world is not fucking fair instead of just “oh whoops the thing sank 😞” i want NITTY GRITTY DETAIL!!!!!! I WANT GUILT!!!!!!! I WANT CHAOS!!!!!!!! I WANT TALKING ABOUT GOD!!!!!!! I WANT AZIRAPHALE IN A MENTAL CRISIS!!!!! I WANT CROWLEY JUST WANTING TO FUCKING LIVE FUCKING PEACEFULLY!!!!!!! I WANT LESBIANS!!!!!! i need to get on this,,,, so much to do. i love it all and TY FOR THE ASK!!!!

[tonysopranosfeverdreams]

Harvey, immunity, & gnaw !!!!!

Harvey: 10/10 omg this one reminds me so much of being like a teen and really wanting to prove yourself and make your family and loved ones proud and I feel like the Harvey (obv from the play) reference is really obvious in the sense that you’re chasing something (success, fame etc) that doesn’t actually exist and that makes you seem kind of insane but you can’t let it go and it lives with you always. but I feel like harvey also has a dual meaning in this song and represents real parts of your life that you love but that aren’t glamorous or beautiful and are actually very childish or small in other peoples opinions but that you cling to. Likes there’s part of you that wants to be very big and known and there’s parts of you that are very small and childish. It also reminds me of Donnie Darko? Bc the bunny from that was the main cultural "Harvey" figure when I was that age and the visuals from the music video remind me of it.

Favorite line: "I'll chase Harvey through the door in the wall He says, "Never catch me, never miss me at all"

Immunity: 7/10 i did not know what the lyrics were until like last month bc i simply never looked at them and treated it as a cute little hyperpop bop. i think this song is meant to embody a very manic perspective life and feeling like your sins are catching up with you even as you try to outrun them and have these mantras/outlandish ideals you repeat to try and protect yourself from getting caught or having to really confront them.

Favorite line: "What your mother gave you, you can give to me"

Gnaw: 11/10. I always really connected with this song because it reminded of when youre young and you exert power over or bully someone for the first time to feel better about yourself and the adrenaline rush that mixes with just how wrong that feels and not knowing what to do with that mix of emotions as a kid. It also reminds me of kind of hating the people you loved growing up because you also just didnt know what to do with those emotions and its like you cant process your emotions because your brain is nowhere near fully formed and the wires got crossed in your head so it comes out in this extremely weird way that you dont fully understand.

A few years ago one of my mutuals on here (I dont remember who but shout out if you read this) reblogged this song and wrote about how it felt like it was about being closeted in one way or another as a kid and the fear of someone like you finding you out and I think looking back on it it explains why so many people (including me) relate to it in that specific way and a really good interpretation and probably the one that makes the most sense with the verse about carving 666 in the tree and trying to run so someone whos like you doesnt find you out so I always think about that when I hear it now

Favorite lyric: "Please don't cry. I am not your brother, I am not your lover, and there is nothing wrong."

[katherinethorn]

I WROTE A SONG ABOUT GETTING BETTER, ITS A FEELING I CANT REMEMBER!!

ARF ARF !!!

[davidtellsall]

This Is Me Trying

Taylor said it best, her words are mine in a way. “ I've been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting, I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that, pulled the car off the road to the lookout, could've followed my fears all the way down and maybe I don't quite know what to say but I'm here in your doorway, I just wanted you to know that this is me trying”

So I had a session with my psychiatrist today (10/03/2022) and told her everything I've been feeling, I held nothing back. how I've had thoughts of self harm and how y depression has gotten way worse, and so she highly recommended that I go to Vista del Mar hospital for my mental health in Ventura. Now to be in inpatient or outpatient, I don't remember but I have to wait for her call to tell me what to do and how to handle the situation, but I'm terrified. I knew that having that serious talk would lead to something like that and i just cant imagine what's gonna happen from here on out and I'm scared.

My depression, sadness and mental health has gotten so bad over the past months and it all had to do with one person and decision I needed to make. Now its cost me almost my life, my freedom and peace of mind but yet I'm still here trying to fight when that's all I can do and its so hard to fight and keep going. well, this is me trying, like Taylor sang and wrote about on folklore. the song, along with others from her make me super sad and frustrated that I just cant seem to get over you, even though you put me through so much pain and heartache but yet, you are fine and living life unphased and I'm paying the price for OUR life's we both shared. I'm not even working right now because I was upfront with work and they think its best that I don't drive and be a hazard on the road, which sucks because all I do nowadays is sleep most of the day which is super depressing. I don't know what what's gonna happen if i get checked in to that hospital but I'm so scared, but I wanna get better even though there is a part of me that's afraid to.

Have i failed in life? am I paying the price for doing the right thing for my life? what's my outcome? can this get better? can I get over the past? what's wrong with me? somedays I feel super hopeless but this is me trying. Stay tuned.

[actualbird]

okay i could have sworn i saw it on your blog (or maybe it was a wishful fever dream?) but i really thought you said that in your pool of fic ideas you had a ;; marius fic where he has like a competence thing?? or maybe feels incompetent compared to the other nxx members?? and whether thats in your idea pool or not;; i would . love to see either idea . BUT ALSO take care of yourself you write so much so consistently;; which is Wow (positive)

hello!!! okay so i must preface this with the fact i am SO FORGETFUL omg. when i read this i was like ".....i have no memory of this idea" so i dug thru my blog and found 2 things i THINK you might be pertaining to?

theres this short answer i wrote from a few days ago talking about how marius finds competence on the other nxx team members INCREDIBLY HOT. and then theres my analysis on marius von hagen being scared that he'll always be in his older brother's (giann) shadow (which isnt Really competence/incompetence but it's Very Related, imo)

THAT BEING SAID, THANK U FOR THIS ASK (and also ur kind words, yes i will take care of myself, hehe) BC I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK MORE ABOUT----

character analysis: marius von hagen's inferiority complex + youngest child syndrome = dude...r u ok...

wc: 1.4k

SPOILERS AHEAD for Marius SSR Fabulous Feast!!!! and general warning for other marius related spoilers but i cant remember if i got that from global server content or cn server, sorry skdjfbsk. obligatory disclaimer that these r just my own thoughts and interpretations

an inferiority complex is, at its simplest, the prolonged/constant state of feeling inadequate in comparison to other people. i posit that marius has got one hell of an inferiority complex because of him being the youngest von hagen kid.

being the youngest child in a family has the tendency or possibility to create an attention-seeker. attention-seeking behavior happens because a youngest child is not alone, their sibling/s came first. the older ones got the love and praise and time before they could get any of it. now that the youngest is here, thats another kid the family has to pay attention to, and the youngest will do a lot of things to get that attention (because theyre "secondary", the family already had other kids, so theyre used to the song and dance of raising kids, yeah? youngest has gotta work more to make themself stand out). theyll play the agreeable charmer to get positive attention from the family. (keyword: positive. because negative attention...i'll get to that later)

but why is the youngest working so hard to get attention? surely, they must know that attention will come to them naturally, yes? well, when youre a "secondary" member, when you come to see yourself as a footnote to another person, attention from others seems harder to just get naturally. the youngest is not alone, there are others now, and where there are others, there will always, always be somebody "better"

(sidenote: it's pretty obvious that marius is an attention-seeker, yea? i dont have to prove that, right? because uh. just go thru any card story of his kJBKSJDF. //whiny marius voice. JIEJIIEEEEEE🥺🥺🥺)

anyway, the seeds of inferiority are present already, theyre getting sown into the ground of the mind as early as childhood. the notions of second best and stuck in another person's shadow can already begin to take root (and heres a previous analysis about marius being in giann's shadow. wait i already linked it up there. BUT I ALREADY LINKED IT HERE im too lazy to undo it, have it again)

the von hagen family is pretty small tho, when marius is brought into the world. mom von hagen died very quickly after marius was born which only left dad austin and older brother giann. i dont think austin or giann did anything outright to make marius feel inferior, the family seems to be a kind one to each other and marius has mentioned he loves his family a LOT but like, even if u dont mean to make somebody feel inferior, it might just happen for a lot of reasons anyway.

one huge thing that hammers the inferiority complex further into marius' mind is how people OUTSIDE the von hagen family see him, especially when marius takes on the mantle as CEO of PAX. marius is saddled with a whole lot of responsibility and duties and work and that in itself is hard enough but then oopsie daisy, the attention-seeking personality is now hit with its worst nightmare.

aka he gets attention but in the Most Negative Ways. hello negative attention!!

marius doesnt even have to lift a finger to get bombarded by people thinking hes doing a shitass job at running the company. people think him a brat who doesnt know what hes doing. in some instances, marius is compared to his father or older brother. marius is pit against them and hes the loser, the weakest link in the von hagen family, the kid whos out of his depth.

in SSR Fabulous Feast, we get to see Mr. Darby act as a microcosm of people who are against marius for this reason. mc witnesses Darby shittalk marius behind his back (and mc was SO CLOSE to marching over there and throwing her cards at him, god bless her heart).

it's marius though who explains Darby's behavior to mc. Darby was apparently an okay dude back when giann was in charge, but when marius came in, thats when Darby changed. marius then says:

granted, after mc is like UR NOT INFERIOR, dont compare urself to others!! (again, bless her heart, i lov her sm). marius then goes on to say "no no. i AM inferior to giann but also thats okay because i have my own special way to solve problems" and then for the rest of the story he goes on to solve the problem just like he said thru an unconventional yet incredibly effective way

(sidenote: it's fascinating to me that marius' way to solve the problem in Fabulous Feast (and other problems, like that journalist in main story 5.3) is to use Performance and Spectacle as a method, then as threat, then as a cage. in main story 5.3, marius gets the information from that journalist by first acting dumb (performance as method) and then once the jig is up marius goes on to say how this will be a bad scandal for journalist (spectacle as threat) and THEN goes on to trap journalist into folding bc of prev points (performance and spectacle as cage). same in Fabulous Feast, Darby is brought into marius' performance, the spectacle of his "donation" is used as a threat, and then the performance and spectacle traps Darby into doing what marius wants. this is....a WHOLE OTHER ANALYSIS ACTUALLY ABOUT how marius has lived his life with performance and spectacle as his own shackles and thus knows how to weaponize it. BUT IM GETTING OFF TOPIC. LEMME GO BACK)

RECAP: marius is the youngest -> being the youngest lays the bedrock of inferiority -> the inferiority is further cemented by outsiders -> ....now what?

well im going to loop back to ur actual ask, HAHA.

u said "[marius] maybe feels incompetent compared to the other nxx members..." and personally i think this is VERY POSSIBLE YES. because hes in another group. and as he slowly grows to trust them all, i see the nxx team turning into a found family, thus another family where he is STILL THE YOUNGEST.

yeah he works his ass off just as much as everybody else in the team, but the fear is hard to shake, yknow? marius will hide it behind smirks and jokes and slightly asshole-y vibes, but deep down hes scared he isnt good enough for them, like how he isnt good enough for so many people in the ENTIRE WORLD. when the team start giving him positive attention (something he thinks he has to earn by being the charmer and whatever the hell else they want him to be) a new fear can surface:

...when will they see hes nothing but a whiny brat trying too hard for scraps of love?

......when will they stop giving him positive attention because of this?

marius feels incompetent not because he actually is incompetent in reality. he plays an important part in the team, just like everybody else. marius feels incompetent within the team because the patterns and experiences of his life has calibrated him to think himself inferior.

if i were to write a fic exploring all of this (and i use the word "if" because my gdrive folder for tot fic wips is...IT'S A LOT....) i would write a fic where the team is kinda just like..."hey is marius okay because lately the media has been particularly ruthless towards him, unprovoked"

and marius waves away whoever asks him and hes like "im fine, but awwww, youre worried about me, thats so sweet!!! you like me more than you let on, eh ;)" and then after luke or vyn or artem or mc rolls their eyes at his antics hes like "[internally] good theyll NEVER KNOW that im actually getting hugely worn down by the current media shitstorm and that their worry means so much to me but if i let them help theyll see me as the incompetent brat i am and they can NEVER SEE ME LIKE THAT OR ELSE I WILL WITHER AND DIE"

and like the team obviously see hes upset and they try to help. every instance of help hammering more and more fear into marius. the more help he needs, the more "useless" marius becomes

and it's a whole mess but eventually the team and marius come together and like, FRIGGING TALK HONESTLY ABOUT FEELINGS and then nxx fluff time of emotional healing

THIS ANSWER NEEDS TO END NOW IT'S TOO LONG KSFDSJ. I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE!!

[mde1011]

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

[minamotoz]

why the live version of eres sucks balls: a rant

well its been a while since i wrote a long lumon centric rant, but i randomly remembered how viscerally angry the version of eres in the live shows makes me, so im here to yell about how much it doesnt make sense and also sucks.

fair warning, although im trying to stay objective, this may get a little bit anti-lutteo/matteo :/ soz about that, i'll try not to be that mean. also i havent watched soy luna in a hot second so i may get a few details wrong

ok so the biggest reason that making eres a love triangle song does not work because it is impossible to remove eres from luna and simón. i mean, its THEIR song. its a song explicitly about how much simón loves luna, there is no way working around it. there is no other way to interpret it. even though other characters sing it on occasion (see: monica and miguel), eres is a song that really only works for simón and luna. which is why after the show nerfs their romantic relationship post-s1, eres, one of the shows most iconic songs, effectively disappears. it gets performed maybe twice during s2 and then its gone. and i think its because eres just . rings hollow if it isnt simón singing it about or to luna. the song in a vacuum is pretty and nice sounding, but the context of it being simóns declaration of how much he adores luna is what makes the song special.

so why do i say this? i mean, its not like simón isnt in the live version, its still his song and hes still singing it to luna! well, yeah thats true, but adding in matteo just completely messes up the dynamic of the song. throughout season 1 of the show, while the show arguably spends an equal amount of time setting up both lutteo and lumón as solid pairings you want to root for, its abundantly clear from the very first episode which couple will be endgame. the show, time and time again, wants you to root for lutteo. matteo is the deuteragonist of soy luna, and this show wants you to love him. this show will apologize for and kiss the ground matteo walks on. the writing has a very clear and palpable bias towards matteo. so what am i trying to get at? well, by forcing matteo into eres, a song ABOUT SIMÓN AND LUNA, it is basically saying to ignore the significance the song has on simón and lunas relationship because MATTEO is here and MATTEO is clearly the better choice for luna! the song isnt about simóns love for luna anymore. its now about two stupid little boys fighting over a girl, which we already get enough of in the show itself.

and the part that gets me the most? the fact that at the end of the song, luna still picks matteo. and i think this makes me the angriest because, within the show itself, they already show us simón being second choice to matteo. now, i am not saying simón is entitled to or owed lunas love. that is stupid. but in the show, we already see simón, who is absolutely and dreadfully in love with luna, slowly start to realize that she is in love with matteo, while he and luna are in a relationship. we have already seen simón lose to matteo multiple times. the show had to get simón fucking kidnapped to make sure he lost to matteo. and we have the live version of eres, the song that is a raw love confession, something that is deeply personal to simón and his arc in s1, get turned into a forced love triangle song in which simón has to once again, see the girl hes in love with pick MATTEO and be forced to deal with it. all while luna and matteo get to sing HIS song, happy in love while he has to suffer. eres is now a lutteo song, because we cant have anything that isnt lutteo for any longer than like 5 seconds. the entire performance feels like a complete slap in the face to simón. like, 'hey you know that extremely personal love confession song you wrote to the person you've been in love with for years? yeah now its a song about her and the guy shes known for like 8 months :)' matteo wins again, yay.

i know the soy luna concerts followed a storyline, and this may take place in a dream sequence and im dumb and Wrong, actually, but watching a performance of it in a vacuum, it really just feels like shitting all over what made the song, idk, special? maybe its just my bias for simón. say that i'm 'reaching' or that its not that deep but it just makes me mad. the only good thing i can say about Live Eres is that ruggeros voice is very nice.

tldr: making eres a love triangle song erases the point of the song, forcing matteo into something that has nothing to do with him shows writer bias, and having matteo get the girl in the end during a song simón wrote and is a song about simóns feelings is a complete disservice to simón and my boy deserves better. i am going to bed, goodnight.

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging HSMTMTS s3x1

aight yall

i havent done these in a while so………welcome back! portwell nation how we doing???

its been so long

lessssss gooooo

--

okay ngl this recap is super fucking useful

i didnt realize how much i forgot about s2 ahahaha

"second chances" hmmmmmmm i wonder what thats forshadowing

oh ej honey

bby

sweet summer child

portwell

the bbies

its them

theyre back

AND THEYRE CUTE

CHEEK KISS

omfg theyre recreating the shjsalhdfkjaslhfdkadf

SUMMERTIME

THATS WHAT IT WAS HELL YEA

(also i take it this means seb, big red, and nini isnt gonna be in this, cool cool)

gina looks so gorgeous i cant--

wait is this the summer camp that ej and nini met before s1? or is that a different one

WAIT A MIN

I

OKAY LILY AND RICKY

THEYRE AN ACTUAL THING?

ngl i did kinda crackship them in s2 but………………

idk how i feel about it honestly

the harness ya know?

aye nini is in this season afterall cool cool

portwell being cute again as usual i love them

THE CAPTIONS SAID "DAMN" HAHADFJASDLHASD

IN A DISNEY SHOW

ashlynn stanning and supporting portwell is everything

yes gina this is your summer of firsts and this will be your summer and your season

"one more thing" kisses gina

smiling gina

best season best season

i love the kourt/gina/ashlynn trio

oh my god i forgot about jordan fisher playing ginas brother ahahahaha

it sounds like nini really needs some independence

……lily why are you still carrying that around

thats just dumb

we really arent gonna drag that out huh

so i retract my previous ricky/lily comments

i am a dumbass

they did rush through that tho ngl

is……is this an original joshua song? or is this one he wrote specifically for the show

i really like it hehe

looks like ricky also needs independence too based on the song ahaha

this is really catchy

portwell being cute again as always

kourt/carlos friendship rights

carlos' reaction to jet is everything lmfao

jwhljhljfhldjkhlsdkjfahslkdfj

this shallow lake song wtf

i do like gadget's voice

and gina's very much vibing with ej's happy antics

IS THAT JASON EARLES

JACKSON

FROM HANNAH MONTANA

THE GUY FROM KICKIN IT (i forgot his name)

IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

yes yes corbin bleu incredible

cooperate disney allowed high school musical Chad to host frozen the musical at a summer camp in a show thats highly popular on disney plus

genius

FDGHDLBSAF.JGKASHLFDGHD

I WAS KIDDING

HAHAHAHA

ITLL BE ON 'DISNEY PLUS'

COOPERATE MOUSE STRIKES AGAIN

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

is ej gonna direct

hes gonna direct isnt he

yup

Director Caswell

that has a nice ring to it

awwwwwwwwwwww portwelllllllll

oh

"who said anyone would"

"excuse me"-ricky

i…

fine………

fine…………….

--

Okay, so, initial thoughts.

I loved all the camp scenes and I kinda got bored when it cut to Nini and Ricky ehehe. i really liked showing the different dynamics of the girls together and the guys and exploring those friendships more and, obviously, Portwell were adorable! I love them and will defend them constantly However, I……am not a fan of a potential EJxGinaxRicky love triangle thing being POTENTIALLY set up (????) and I'm also not a fan of this love triangle POTENTIALLY resolving itself by POTENTIALLY having nini come to camp and rini gets back together. yes this is all my speculations for the rest of the season ehehuhuhuesohohoohhafhdlakjdsfhasdf Both Ricky and Nini need time away from each other to gain their own independence and to understand why their relationship ended in the first place (i cannot remember if in s2 they actually covered that or not. i do remember their breakup scene was good? in the sense that it followed exactly what the show was setting up in s2 for rini)

But who knows. Maybe Rini will reunite and actually be a better fit after some time apart to grow as people? I'll just have to see how that goes.

And while I used to ship rina and due to that, I will probably have a slight soft spot for them in the sense of just liking their scenes together………….i am very concerned for portwell's happiness. This is supposed to be Gina's season and EJ plays a big role for that and he's also getting even more screentime I--------

i just want portwell to be happy okay???

AND HOW COULD I FORGET THE BEST SHIP OF ALL RICKERAPY PLZ MAKE RICKERAPY CANON I BEG YOU

god i missed these live!blogs

[ah-yes-paris]

beatles harmonies that cured my depression.

It is important that i discuss this. Well, not really important I just really wanted to share. This is in no particular order either it's just the ones that come to the top of my head lol. Feel free to reblog and share your own 😎

1. The "Woahoooah AHHHHH" from When I Get Home.

Not even words can describe the battery power that starts coursing through my veins when I hear this harmony. I cant even,....LIKE HELLO??? i have never heard such a blessing... Such a well-fitting triplet of voices singing a vowel thats made me feel like i can run 10 miles straight. They aren't real. The Beatles, of course. To this day I don't understand how this harmony exists in this universe. My ears melt everytime. One of my favorites, in case you couldn't tell.

2. The obvious.. "yeah yeah yeah YEAHH" from She Loves You :)

LET ME TELL YOU. oh my god let me tell yo u .. Way back when, when I was a new fan... Good lord. I was literally ascending. ASCENDING. i felt every inch of my body start to lift off the ground. Im sure im not the only one who's experienced this. I remember thinking 'how the wiggle wubble do 3 men sound so GOOD TOGETHER' IT DOES NOT ADD UP PEOPLE THE BEATLES HAVE TO BE SOME SORT OF ROBOTIC BOY BAND GROWN IN A LAB THIS ISNT POSSIBLE how do we live on the same dimensional plane that this harmony lives on..

3. "The magical mystery tour, is coming to take you away, Coming to take you away!" from Magical Mystery Tour.

...

guys. Guys you dont understand. This one line, adds, YEARS. LITERAL YEARS TO MY LIFE SPAN. At this point I am fully immortal. The "coming to take you awayyy" makes my heart POUND. i love this song so much... And this line especially... It makes me go insane. Basically the beatles are manic melody genuises that have successfully spread one of the biggest diseases in musical history. Personally, I think this line was a clear example of why.

4. "Last night I said these words to my girl", "Please pleaase me, oh yeah, like i please you...", "...With you! Oh yeah, why do you make me blue" from Please Please Me.

do i even have to say anything. Well, i dont but i will for the sake of the post. There is so much. So much. About this song that I. I cant even,,. I would choose this song over SO MANY BEATLES SONGS DUDE. not that its cause i think its better than all the others but it just holds such a special place in my heart. Its the only song thats Ever made me feel some intense wave of nostalgia for a decade i wasnt even born in. Its one of the songs that continue to make me question the beatles existance. How could something like this ever come to reality. My brain has never been so pleased in its life.

5. "Carve your number on my wall and maybe you will get a call from me" from If I Needed Someone.

The way that this song was added into my Liked playlist SO QUICKLY...... God. I love george. Hes my favorite after all. Rubber Soul as a whole makes me feel warm inside but this song and this one line just hits so much more intensely for some reason... Their voices just flow insanely well and I just DONT UNDERSTAND HOW. its like an angel choir making its way through the clouds as you see the gate to heaven start to appear. Wonderful song and mind-blowing harmony... The beat is so good too and i just explode.

6. The "ahhhhh Ahhhhh AHhhhh *inhale* AHHHhhhh AHHHHH *inhale* AHHHHHH" from Day Tripper.

HOLY JESUS CHIRST THIS SONG HAS SO MUCH TO UNPACK... There are undeniably A BUNCH of other flawless harmonies in this song but my god the beatles knew what they were doing. Thats all I'm going to say really.... But once again. Power. In my veins. A few listens to this song and you'll find yourself having the strength of 1,000 men.

7. "Oh, now", "All I want is you" from Dig a Pony.

FIRST LYRIC... ITS LITERALLY 2 WORDS AND YET IT CONTINUES TO BLOW MY MIND. Something about the "Oh" ...... Its like an arrow passing through my heart I dont even know guys. Im not lying when I say it makes me feel like im floating. It makes me feel like i can quite literally grow wings and fling myself towards the sun. Dont even get me started on "All I want is you".......it literally triples the effect. It makes me go ballistic. The song is just mindless lyrics but the harmonieeesss.....

8. "Ah girlll.... *inhaeahelrlsseeesh* Girrll...." from Girl.

no words. Like. No words. I cant even. I seriously dont need to explain this one. Im just going to drop the isolated vocals version because if you havent listened to it you are MISSING OUT... you thought the originally recorded song was the greatest cause of your heart palpitations? Well you thought WRONG.

THIS IS.

9. "I love youwoowooowoowoooo...", "ask me WHYY..", "I can't believe.. Its happened to MEeee", "i cant concieve *doo doo doo do doo* of anymore *dun dun dun* MISERY" from Ask Me Why.

GOD OK LISTEN im just gonna say this now i absolutely adore and favor the please please me album so much i dont care what anyone says ok im such a sucker for their early sappy love songs ITS SO MANY GOOD HARMONIES ESPECIALLY FROM THIS ONE. MY GOD i listen to this and i feel like im with a lover late at night and we're like at one or the others house keeping each other warm and being all romantic and happy. Specifically the part that goes "ask me whyy I say i love you.. (OOOOHHHOOOO) and im always thinking of youuhoohohoo..." LIKE COME ON PLEAEE IT MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM INSIDE AND I SMILE IN AN INSTANT GOD I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. Whenever i think im sad i go "no im not because Please Please Me." And its like all the sudden everything im sad about just poof disappears!

10. "If theres anything that you want.. IF THERES ANYTHING I CAN DOOOO" from From Me To You.

I am so in love with this song you guys i have no idea I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT HAS THIS LITTLE SWING TO IT SPECIFICALLY BETWEEN THESE 2 LINES THAT MY BRAIN SEEKS FOR NEARLY EVERY DAY. the amount of blessing i get from this song is more than i can comprehend its literally insane i cant even. How does someone do this how did the beatles make music guys I am seriously so dumbfounded like they just sat there and wrote banger after banger like WHAT. this song makes me believe that life isnt as horrible as it seems and if im lucky enough i can just sing and dance to this song for all of eternity. There are also so many other good harmonies in this one as well...

---

In conclusion the beatles have had a chokehold on me for 3 years but I mean their stupid groundbreaking songs keep drawing me back in so.... This has also made me come to the conclusion that the Beatles simply arent real because I still dont believe a band can not only write consistent hits, but also harmonize in a way that causes me to spin around while doing backflips.

Thank you for your time.

[aurora-daily]

AURORA’s Reddit Q&A (July 13th 2021)

Kmilalv: Hello aurora we love you, I'm @ aurora.s_love on instagram ✨✨🥰🥰🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ Aurora: oh hellooo!!!! Exportmusic: Meep Aurora: meep < 3 Lisxnne: WELL HELLO AND THANKS FOR YOUR NEW SONG! 🙏🌟💕 Aurora: HELLO!! and thank you for being open to it 24681357900: Thank u for making music Aurora: thank you for inviting it into your heart Emergency-Club-7529: This is have some upper case , it's the real Aurora Aurora: yes!!! Helloooooo brunamombach: hello ✨🃏🧚🏻‍♂️🤘🍇🍄🧚🏻‍♀️ when are you coming do Brazil? so glad to see you here!!! Aurora: I think I will be coming to Brazil next year  I love being in Brazil because I feel like it awakens my heart and soul to be there !! Brunamombach: if you were going to an souless island, what book would you bring with you? 🧚🏻‍♂️🍇🍄🧚🏻‍♀️🤘🃏 kisses from Brazil Aurora: I would either take: "The name of the wind" and "a Wise mans fear" or the LOTR trilogy. Or the "Mistborn" trilogy. or "warbreaker" or "the good omens" or "the ocean at the end of the lane" or "Anne of Green gables" or "The alchemist" or just all the books in the world oh no I cant decide

all DanParis: Hey have some karma you cool bean 🤌🏼 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Aurora: thank you < 3 Ok-Estimate8468: Tell us something you can tell us about the second track on the Cure For Me vinyl, “Potion For Love”. I'm very curious...

Aurora: its the song I decided for the B-side of the vinyl, and I will probably release it digitally one day too. Its the sister song to "exist for love" but from the other perspective. where love does not fill you up, but love has left a big hole within you < / 3 Ok-Estimate8468: Did you get a lot of unfollows and hate from bad people due to Cure For Me? Aurora: I got a little hate from homophobes, and also abelist, and racist comments from people claiming there was nothing wrong with their mindset. BUT it does not bother me. and I will never stop speaking up about the things I find important. because.. what else would our meaning on this earth be? if that makes sense. Some people have attacked me personally, but sadly mostly its people defending their own hateful ways of being. I cant even imagine how it really is to be a victim of racism or violent homophobia, so I feel like the least I can do is to try the best I can to show support. and speak up. and be an ally.

So a bit more short - yes, and I really dont mind!!!! unfollow me if you find speaking about equality and the right to live, and love and be loved unsettling <3 thank you for this question! Ok-Estimate8468: How was the process of creating the studio version of Cure For Me? I heard your first acoustic performance and saw that it's much smoother than the studio, so I was curious to see how you managed to create another even more amazing version. Aurora: Me and Magnus just played around, and we really tried to go with our emotions, and to be playful and to not think too much about what was "AURORA" or what was even...pretty! we just laughed! and danced! and did what felt lovely to us.

I think this is why the making of this song is one of my favourite memories, and also I think that is why it sounds so playful! because it is!! it was like playing a game. and I did also play alot around with symbolics in both the lyrics and the way this song is produced. it all has a meaning you see... but of course I will let you figure that out yourself!!

Pingouiin_: What's your favourite mountain around bergen ? Aurora: mine is Løvstakken!! and Magnus loves Ullrikken!! but important to NEVER stop a Norwegian person walking on the mountain. just say. a quick hello and wander off your own mind. become at one with nature Whoamiandallthat: Thank you for existing, I love your art and you inspire me so much 💙 You are one of my favorite artists 😊 And just the other day I found out that you are just two years older than me, and so successful... I'm wondering how it was for you to become so popular, did you feel like people thought you needed a cure? I'm also in the sphere of arts - filmmaking; but I feel like my films are not good enough... I have a YouTube channel with some videos - if you ever see this comment I would like for you to check it out 😊 Aurora: Ive felt through my life like something was a little off, ive never resonated that much with the people or the "system" around me! it didn't bother me so much even though I. was teased a lot for it ( so again I was very lucky) but I never felt like I understood the world and my place in it. or how I. could fit in, in this worlds society and with other people ! and becoming "famous" which I dont really feel that I am, but I guess that I am a little "known" (meep) was very strange, and very hard to handle at first. as impressions affect me a lot, and noises and people etc. but with time I got better at handling all these impressions, and avoid getting a.. sensory overload! and I am so happy now, that I can look directly at strangers and actually listen to them, and understand them, and even love them I guess what I am trying to say, that ive now understood that this is the very thing that connected me to all of you. and now I see my place here on this earth. and I see all of you, and you give my life so much meaning!! Lets_Fight_Dragons: Firstly I wanted to say I recently discovered your music and I love everything about it. I have two questions, I hope that’s ok 1. How do you start writing songs because I’m trying to get into songwriting and I’m not sure how you write such amazing songs 2. What’s your favourite song you’ve released? Aurora: 1. well I dont really know. ( I am sorry!!) but I feel like it started really natural for me.. I. kind of just sat down with my piano.. and then I started playing around with the Keyes, and I figured out I could make an endless amount of melodies by simply pressing the keys in a different order!! remember finding this extremely magical (I was around 6 years old then) and after a while I started adding lyrics, and I just spent time looking into myself, trying to figure out. - what do I want to say? what do. I need to hear in a song? what do the world need to hear in a song? and etc. I always think about songwriting as storytelling. and I always start out by figuring out what story I want to tell, what matter I want to dress, or what pleases me, or annoys me with the world, or what emotion I need help dealing with!! and then I write a song!!! and if you feel like its difficult to come up with melodies, I would recommend finding a song you like, and learn the chords of it (or find an instrumental version. online) and then you make your own melodies on top of that! many of the songs of the world share the same chords, and often the melodies on top is the thing separating them. music belongs to all of us, and its clear that every song in the world comes from the same magical source. 2. I think its the seed. or couples creatures!! or infections of a different kind!! tiffnoir: Our dear AURORA, your b-side A Potion For Love is helping me a lot (broken heart since a few days ago). I wanted to ask (if I can haha) if would it be included at the upcoming album, or maybe a relaxing, vintage video for it? Thanks for helping all of us with your music ^_^ Aurora: thank you som much for letting this song into your heart  after writing exist for love, I figured that I should also make a sister-song that could belong for the ones with a broken heart as well  it will not be on the album, but for you I will try to put it on the deluxe version FedahpWithThisWurld: Hello, Aurora! I'm a neurodivergent person and I have always felt a lot of shame over being the way I am, like I'm not good enough. Your music makes me feel better and it makes me feel that being me is okay. Thank you for that.  I want to know how you manage to be so confident? Do you ever get nervous before a show? Aurora: hello!!!! I have had a lot of similar experiences with myself in this world too.. so I am very sad to hear you've lived your life with this feeling I think after a while I understood what makes me different also makes me special. and special is good. and if you think about it, special isn't even that different, because in one way or another we are all... unique. but of course, some people have had to fight their. way through life more than others.. making it less easy to learn how to love yourself. and accept yourself. I guess, now I've surrounded myself with good people who understand my quirks and sensitivities, people who give me time. and space to be me. I have also been lucky, because I have a family that have always encouraged me to be myself. and to love myself. and I guess that is why I am trying to convey to all of you now, because now we are like al little family. where being who you are - is cool. and you're cool. and were all cool. and I get nervous all the time, of all sorts of things! but I just accept that feeling as a part of being human. its uncomfortable yes, but I know at least it won't kill me! 3charmplease: What was it like recording for Frozen? Aurora: it was magical  and also slightly scary. but it felt safe and good calling at the mountains. and I feel warm thinking about it. especially now. cause my father just walked over to me with five little strawberries in his hand. he gave them all to me. and they were so small, and sweet. im currently sitting in my childhood home, right next to the very piano where I wrote "runaway" and so many other songs. Tiny-Sink-2397: Boom shake shake shake the room Aurora: that was actually during the recording process of Cure For Me! Tiny-Sink-2397: I thought it was!! Seemed like an epic party Aurora: YES Joelynxyzs: what's your favorite movie ? Aurora: Practical magic BUT ALSO THESE: The LOTR triology ALL GHIBLI MOVIES avatar once upon a time in Hollywood Hannah the perfume fantastic MR. fox Star Wars: a new hope rouge one isle of dogs the hunchback of Notre dame! the arrival stypop: If you were to get the chance to work on a sequel to another Disney movie, which one would you want it to be? Aurora: since Disney owns Lucas films I would love to be a part of the Star Wars universe  or to play either a magical fairy, witch mermaid, forest nymph, or a scary beast!! WE WO brisot: The masks in CFM remind me of theater plays, do you ever watch any and how much of an influence for you is the art of acting? Aurora: this era of my life is very influenced by the ancient times where theatre was all they had. no CGI or special effects etc. and I really wanted all these videos to feel very authentic, and down to earth! The shell in "exist for love" was handmade by someone, and I painted all the masks in "cure for me" myself! so I like it when it feels... human Clear-Champion-1833: i love you Aurora:

<3

Jicuhrabbitkim: How do you like your fried eggs cook!! I like it when its very crispy!! Aurora: as long as its from a local farm that has free healthy chickens that walk about freely and eat good food I like my eggs crispy too. GhostReaper3: Hi I have a question as well: How do you keep positive? Many people including myself find this difficult sometimes so it would be good to hear your technique or way of keeping upbeat and positive! Also, thank you for sharing your music with us! Aurora: I know what you mean, i've struggled with it myself at times. but I guess I tried separating in my mind what I can do something about, and what I cant? if that makes sense?? we are all just here on this planet. and though we all seem to be going though the same things we still feel so alone, in our thoughts and in our minds. And I've been very aware that with music, and with this fandom we can all finally connect, and see each other, and know that we are not alone! and if there is one thing I love, it is to dance a little after I've cried. I think its important to. shake these emotions out of our body. like animals do! and then I made CURE FOR ME. because I thought about all the warriors out there feeling. a little crazy... after isolation! or after being depressed! and being l rocked in with their families that might not accept them for who they are.. and I thought I needed to make a song for us all, that felt a little uplifting. and uniting. just so we know where not alone, and just so we know that we are worthy.. of everything! and that we are worthy of celebrating ourselves!! ALWAYS! aniri003: Were the dancers freestyling in the last part of the video Aurora: YES! I told them to put their freak game on. And they were amazing. L_pls_use_revive: Hei Aurora! Apart from inspiring me with your music for emotional people, I also dicovered my love for Norway and the Norwegian language through you - now studying it in my second year at university. Tusen, tusen takk! I want to visit soon when traveling is safe - So which place should I not miss out on? Have a great life! Aurora: I think the whole of Norway is worth visiting! there are so many beautiful places. and beautiful people! I would ofc. recommend Bergen! (haha!) but also places like Tromsø, Trondheim, Stavanger, lofted and The Geirangerfjord and the Northwest!!! HAHA KakSetoKaiba: How's the progress of the album that you've been preparing which will be released after your death? Aurora: its going well, I take one song for every chapter and I put it on my death album instead of the album I'm making  its going well. and im excited about it! maria_fernandez_: This is not a question but I just wanted to tell you that discovering you and your music has been the best thing that ever happened to me. What your music makes me feel cannot be described in words. I love you so much. Greetings from Spain!! Aurora: thank you!!! applepieaurora: Whats your favorite pie? 🐉 Aurora: apple pie  and blueberry pie!! Ok-Potato7244: Thanks for sharing your time ... a warrior here to welcome you...Have some tea...And i don't need a cure for disliking keeping animals in cages...Especially birds...💚... Aurora: thank you pekaraseva: what do you feel when you perform Ioadk or Adkoh for people? Aurora: I feel so full of emotion and love and despair I could almost explode  and its wonderful. I also feel insanely connected to the audience when I sing these songs.. I. think. its because they are such important pieces of my soul targaryenblood02: omg what do you think cure for me would smell like? 🐛 Aurora: like something Brazilian! like Asai! or caipirinha! or Brigadeiro!

sproutingephemeral: Hello Aurora, Thanks for your new song, I've gotten quite addicted to it😊 I have a question that might be a bit difficult to answer. I am a Warrior from the U.S. currently without a clue of where I should be and what I should be doing. I'm done with school, and in the process of moving to a new town with my parents. I'm applying for jobs, but I feel like I can't find my reason for being in a smaller area with not many people my age. I feel like my parents are trying to mold me into a certain person, which doesn't feel authentic to me. I probably should be making more of my own decisions at my age, but I'm a bit scared and confused, if what I think is deemed too unrealistic or out of line with their expectations for me (like a childhood dream?). I tried talking to them about it, to little success. Is there something inherently wrong with me? Or am I just being spoiled or lazy? I read about how you were initially opposed to starting your career until your mother convinced you to change your mind. How do you know whether or not to trust in your parents' plans for you? On a lighter note, do you prefer cookies that are more soft (chewy) or hard (crumbly)? I don't need a cure for...my autism, and tendency to talk regularly to my deceased cat at his grave (??)😿👼 Looking forward to seeing you in New York! Take care❤❤ Aurora: you should ALWAYS. only do what feels right for you. this world is very absurd, and people tend to think they know what is meaningful and what is important. but we all know, money and success isn't important beyond what you need to simply survive. this one life is yours. and you should be just who you want. and do what feels right for you. because its yours. its only yours. drink tea. work hard. be lazy. dance. be shy. laugh, cry. drink wine and eat good bread. be good. fight for something you care about. and either live for your work, or work a little and then just... live. get a garden, grow tomatoes, get a cat. or a dog. or a parrot. life can be so random, and it can be both so little, and so large at the same time. some days were meant to TAKE chances, and live. and sometimes were just meant to exist. and do nothing. you should never feel guilty for not "being enough" because you are enough. just who you are. just how you are. is enough. good luck on your strange journey my warrior, maybe our paths crosses and maybe they dont. but know, when you walk out of your door, that anything can happen! and the whole world is yours. Hippolyte_gray: is the name of the next album hidden in your previous songs ? Aurora: mayyyyyybeeeeeeeee rashadalt: what do you think about your fans who are racist/homophobic etc.? Aurora: I feel sorry for them. because I know I cant be easy l living a life so full of hate. and even spending your precious. time on this world bringing other people down. and I know how easy it is for people to be driven by fear, and how difficult. it can be to have an original meaning and stand up for what you really mean. so I dont judge them, or hate them,

but I do feel sorry for them. and I am also very disappointed in them. because its such a. waste of human potential to live your life in the paths of hatred.

but as long as we face hate with love, we will eventually win. when we show them. we are not the enemy, just people trying to make a better world, I think, and I hope that eventually we can all agree that being able to live, and being able to love is a human right. Brivera726: I noticed you said you would bring LOTR trilogy with you to an island- I’m reading them for the fourth time right now  I feel like if Galadriel sing songs it would sound like you! Anyway I really like your art so yah just keep doing u- love from PFC Rivera, USMC Aurora: this is then est thing ive ever read thank you Aurora: I am. sorry people, but my time here (for tonight) is up </3 but I will probably be back looking at your questions and thoughts because I did really. enjoy this. and I. love you all so. much.

[link]

[rynzii-419]

Wilbur - Eight

Does anyone else remember when Wilbur said that he used the song Eight by Sleeping at Last as his inspiration for c!Wilbur? Well I sure do and I’m gonna talk about it. Now strap in while i analyze some of the lyrics and why c!wilbur has so many problems and honestly deserves more love

I was just a kid who grew up strong enough; To pick this armor up; And suddenly it fit; God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago; I was little, I was weak and perfectly naive; And I grew up too quick

Personally I would connect this to his L’manburg arc. I think it could be saying that at first, he wasn’t as deep into this or as serious (honestly i think that’s a nice way to explain the not as serious roleplay of the l’manburg revolution: just the characters not fully getting the gravity of the situation). After so much war, he finally grew into his position as president and lost his innocence. Honestly I think people talk about this plenty with Tommy, but the idea of Wilbur having to switch from hanging out with his friends to being a real president and handling a betrayal really messed him up and forced him to “grow up” quickly.

Now you won't see all that I have to lose; And all I've lost in the fight to protect it; I won't let you in, I swore never again; I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected

Gosh this is the bit that made me think “okay time to write a quick analysis”. The line “i wont let you in” just GOSH. Wilbur’s emotions are so very repressed right now. People call him doing this manipulation, but I think this words it really well. He doesn’t even know how to begin to open up to the people around him. He trusted once, back then with Eret, and he hasn’t opened up since. All he had to lose was L’manburg, and he gave up literally everything for it, only for it to be torn away from him. He already had trust issues, but after the guy Wilbur invited to endorse him kicked him out of his country and ruined it, he started to spiral.

I want to break these bones 'til they're better; I want to break them right and feel alive; You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong; My healing needed more than time

Enough said. This is more about his future i believe than what has already happened. He needs someone to help him, from the outside. Of course, the change in him will happen inwards, but people cant just keep waiting for him to be better. I think Tommy had the potential to be there for him, but I’m not too sure that’s the best idea for Tommy’s own mental health.

When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things; I see the familiar; I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too; Now I'm a broken mirror

There we go. Literally what can I say? Wilbur is fragile helpless and broken. And that’s canon baby, cc!wilbur said so. But seriously this absolutely kills me. I actually relate to this song a lot, and hearing it about Wilbur tears me up knowing this is how he feels inside. Plus, the idea of him trying to be perfect even though he considers himself weak? Amazing. I love the idea of Techno and Wilbur training when he was younger and he decided that even though he was physically he decided he would be mentally strong, and that’s part of why he has these metaphorical walls around him.

The whole last part of the song is the part I’m waiting for in future lore. Its why I have high hopes for a Wilbur redemption arc. All he needs is to open up, and I’m just. I love him. I really want him to open up to someone, literally anyone. I think that’s his issue with Ranboo. He sees Ranboo trusting people and he feels threatened, I think. Its the one thing he cant do, I think it scares him to see. Now go listen to it it gives me chills and makes me cry

OH WAIT ONE LAST BIT!!

I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough; To hold the door shut; And bury my innocence

Okay im sorry just. This is so much to me. Any idea of innocence was just torn from him with force and that hurts me. A lot. He’s paranoid and repressed, and people call that manipulation, and honestly I hate that. Like cmon guys listen to this song. He has delusions and paranoia he is not manipulative he is mentally ill and needs help. Anyway yeah that was all I wanted to add I just think he needs more people defending him in a way.

Sorry it was kinda short btw i wrote this like train of thought style