#I already kinda did something for this but I need to commit harder

[cerealforkart]

Me: Lacking time let alone energy

Me to Me: “Play all of Twilight Princess so you can make an AU with Sparrow as Link which you’ll draw maybe twice before forgetting about it forever”

[ssvnriise]

WHEN NEED TAKES OVER —

synopsis — a lonely, restless night leaves you aching for your boyfriend, your frustration spilling over into something desperate and filthy—you find yourself rutting against his pillow. what happens when he catches you mid act?

warnings — dubcon, degradation/humiliation, rough sex, overstimulation, objectification, mild somno,

you’re not even sure when it got this bad. one minute it was just another late night—lonely, restless, and frustrated. you missed your boyfriend, missed the weight of his body, the sound of his voice, the rough scrape of his stubble against your skin. so, like anyone might in a weak moment, your hand slipped beneath the hem of your shorts, fingertips brushing over heated skin in a desperate attempt to chase some kind of relief. but it wasn’t enough.

It never is when it isn’t him.

now here you are—hips rocking shamelessly against the curve of his pillow, the one that still smells faintly like him. your breaths come in soft, needy pants, face flushed as you grind down harder, chasing the friction, the illusion that he’s here with you. there’s a twisted ache in your chest, a knot of shame tangled in with the pleasure. you feel a little sick—what kind of person does this? but you tell yourself it’s fine. It’s harmless. he won’t know. you’ll wash the pillowcase afterward, like it never happened.

a whimper escapes your lips as your hips move faster, your thoughts completely consumed by him—by the warmth of his hands, the low timber of his voice murmuring against your ear. and just like that, as if summoned by your desperation, a deep, amused chuckle cuts through the haze.

you freeze.

your entire body stiffens as your head snaps toward the doorway, dread crashing into you like a wave of ice water.

toji stands there, broad-shouldered and calm, leaning against the doorframe with a look that’s somewhere between amusement and something darker, unreadable. his eyes flick from you to the pillow, then back again.

you scramble off the bed like you’ve been caught committing a crime, cheeks flaming, heart slamming in your chest in a rhythm that drowns out everything else.

“shit—w-when did you come in?” you stammer, voice trembling as your hands fumble to straighten your clothes, as if that could erase what he just saw.

toji doesn’t move from the doorway. he just watches you with that infuriating half-smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, arms folded lazily across his chest like he’s settling in to enjoy the show.

“damn,” he drawls, voice low and gravelly. “didn’t know my girl missed me that bad.”

you look away, mortified, trying to avoid his gaze, but he pushes off the doorframe and strolls in slow and deliberate, his heavy steps sinking into the carpet like a predator closing in. his eyes drag over you—messy hair, flushed face, trembling thighs still pressed together like you’re hoping to smother the heat radiating off your body.

“was that my pillow you were fuckin’ yourself on?” he asks, like it’s the most casual question in the world. “kinda sweet, in a filthy little way.”

“toji, shut up,” you mumble, your voice tight with humiliation. you grab the pillow and try to hide it behind you, but he’s already at the edge of the bed, watching every move you make like you’re something worth savoring.

he cocks his head slightly, grinning now. “Nah, don’t get shy now. you were moanin’ like I was right here. you gonna tell me what you were thinking about?” he leans down, close enough that his breath grazes your cheek. “was it my mouth? my fingers? or just my cock makin’ you that messy?”

you squeeze your eyes shut, legs pressing tighter together as your body betrays you all over again with a sharp pulse of heat.

he laughs, soft and cruel, and brushes a thumb along your jaw, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“look at you. cute little thing all worked up without me.” he presses in closer, his voice dipping just above a whisper. “next time, maybe ask for help before you start fuckin’ my stuff.”

then his hand slides slowly down your thigh, his touch maddeningly light. “or better yet—why don’t you show me what you were doing before I walked in? I wanna see how desperate you really were.”

your breath catches as his hand settles on your thigh, warm and heavy. you should stop this—should protest, or at least reclaim some sliver of dignity—but your body is already betraying you, knees parting slightly as if inviting him in.

toji notices. of course he does.

“there she is,” he murmurs, voice thick with satisfaction. his fingers slide higher, dragging the hem of your shorts with them. “could’ve told me you were this needy. I’d’ve left the meeting early.”

you bite your lip, trying not to whimper when his knuckles graze over the soaked fabric of your panties. he lets out a low whistle, clearly amused.

“fuckin’ soaked, baby. all from a pillow?” he presses down just enough to make your hips twitch. “or was that just from thinkin’ about me?”

your voice is barely a whisper. “you.”

“damn right.”

he slips his fingers beneath the waistband of your panties, slow and deliberate like he’s savoring every second of your unraveling. you gasp when he finally touches you, his fingers sliding through your slick folds with infuriating ease.

“so wet already,” he mutters, almost to himself. “could probably slide right in, huh?” he leans in, his lips brushing your ear. “but you don’t get that yet. not till I see exactly what you were doing.”

you blink, flustered. “w-what?”

he pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, his grin wicked. “you heard me. get back on that pillow.”

your mouth falls open in shock, but his fingers tighten around your thigh in a way that makes you throb all over again.

“c’mon,” he says, coaxing but firm. “be a good girl. show me how pathetic you were for me.”

shaking but burning with want, you shift back onto the pillow. it’s humiliating—more so with him watching, arms crossed and eyes dark with hunger—but your body obeys before your pride can protest. you start to move your hips again, slower this time, aware of his gaze drinking in every little stutter, every gasp.

“atta girl ” toji murmurs, voice rough. “look at you. fuckin’ yourself on my pillow like a bitch in heat.”

you let out a broken sound, face burning.

he steps closer, crouching beside the bed now, one hand reaching out to trail lazy circles around your swollen clit. “bet this is what you really wanted. wanted me to find you like this right?”

your rhythm stutters, your moans coming faster now, higher.

“keep goin’,” he commands, his voice low and firm. “don’t stop till I say.”

his fingers slip lower again, pressing inside you this time—just two, thick and deep. you arch with a strangled cry, grinding harder, chasing it.

“there you go,” he breathes. “so damn greedy. you gonna cum for me like this? humpin’ a pillow like a little slut?”

you nod frantically, tears brimming as the pleasure builds, sharp and overwhelming. you’re close—so close—and with one more thrust of his fingers, his mouth suddenly at your neck, teeth scraping your skin—

you shatter.

your body trembles violently, hips jerking, mouth falling open around a silent cry. toji holds you through it, fingers fucking you through the aftershocks, his breath hot and heavy against your cheek.

“fuck,” he growls. “you came that hard from this?” he laughs, deep and satisfied. “you’re worse than I thought.”

you can barely breathe, collapsing onto the pillow you just defiled. he pulls his fingers free and slips them in his mouth without a second thought.

“guess I’ll be sleepin’ on the wet spot tonight,” he mutters, smug.

you barely have time to catch your breath before toji’s already pulling the pillow away from beneath you and tossing it aside, leaving you sprawled on the bed—legs shaking, skin flushed, underwear still clinging to your soaked core.

“up,” he orders, voice rougher now, threaded with the kind of hunger that makes your whole body tighten. “on the floor. knees.”

you shiver at the command but obey, limbs trembling as you slide off the bed and sink to your knees on the carpet. the room spins slightly—your orgasm still echoing through your body—but there’s something grounding in the sound of toji unbuckling his belt behind you. Heavy. Deliberate.

“hands on the floor. arch that back.” his voice is all gravel and heat.

you position yourself just like he said, ass up, head down, heart pounding so loud it drowns out everything else. you hear the rustle of his pants hitting the floor and feel him behind you—close, radiating heat and dominance like a second skin.

he kneels behind you, large hands gripping your hips, thumbs digging into your flesh.

“fuck. look at this pussy,” he growls, spreading you open with both hands. “still twitchin’. still fuckin’ drippin’ for me.”

you whimper, trying to rock your hips back into him, but he slaps your ass hard enough to make you jolt.

“don’t rush me,” he snaps, but there’s a smirk in his voice. “you got off already. now it’s my turn to take my time.”

he strokes himself once, twice, then lines up the thick head of his cock at your entrance, sliding it through your folds, teasing. not entering. just enough to make you sob in frustration.

“toji, please—”

“you had your fun with that pillow. now you’re gonna feel what you’ve been beggin’ for.”

then he thrusts in with one deep, brutal stroke, burying himself to the hilt.

you cry out, fingers clawing into the carpet as your body clamps down around him, the stretch almost too much after how sensitive you already are.

he doesn’t stop to let you adjust.

toji starts fucking you hard right away—deep, punishing strokes that slap skin against skin and knock the breath out of your lungs. he grips your hips like he owns them, dragging you back onto his cock over and over, groaning under his breath.

“yeah. this is what you were missin’, huh?” he pants, slamming into you harder. “no fuckin’ pillow can make you feel like this.”

your eyes roll back, tears pricking as the pressure builds again way too fast—your body giving in to him completely.

“you gonna come again?” he taunts, voice wrecked and close to breaking. “you’re squeezin’ me like you’re already about to.”

you nod frantically, words gone, reduced to incoherent cries and helpless moans as his pace grows more erratic, hips slamming against your ass with every thrust.

“toji—fuck—I can’t—”

“yes you fuckin’ can,” he snarls, reaching around to rub your clit in tight circles. “cum on my cock, baby. let me feel you lose it.”

It hits you like a lightning strike—your entire body seizing as another orgasm tears through you, even more intense than the first. you scream his name, collapsing under the weight of it, twitching around him as he groans, his rhythm breaking.

toji pulls out just in time, stroking himself once before spilling hot across your lower back with a low, guttural moan. you can feel him panting behind you, both of you ruined and wrecked and breathless.

for a long moment, there’s nothing but the sound of your mingled breathing and the hum of silence in the room.

then toji chuckles, deep and smug.

“next time you miss me, try pickin’ up the phone instead of fuckin’ my pillow,” he says, running a lazy hand down your spine. “but… I won’t lie. That was one hell of a welcome home.”

a/n — not proof read also this is my first fic like this

◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ lmkkk how i did!

part two <3

[zahri-melitor]

So I've read the opening story of Tim Drake: Robin.

The opening issue is solid, highlighting a lot of Meghan Fitzmartin's skills as a writer. She picked up threads neatly from her earlier stories, showed her hand to the audience, and did do a fair amount of subtle character work. If I'd picked it up with no background knowledge of the fandom conversation about the title, I'd have been very excited for where it was going.

I liked the links back to how part of what prompted Tim to move out was Bruce being fussy over Tim having been shot in the throat in Batman #125. That felt realistic and a nice little link between titles.

As far as a story goes: I didn't mind it. Parts of it were very obvious, especially when you clued into the themes - if I'd actually been reading it as it came out and had a month between issues for things to soak in, I probably would have been tapping my toes over the reveal of who Moriarty was disguised as.

I would like to specifically dunk on both Meghan Fitzmartin and Moriarty for the detective novel writer selections, because...hmm. Kinda misogynistic there. Fitzmartin uses 6 writers for this, and 6 specific stories/franchises:-

Edgar Allen Poe – Murders in the Rue Morgue

Mark Twain – The Stolen White Elephant

Arthur Conan Doyle – Sherlock Holmes

Raymond Chandler - Goldfish

James Gelsey – Scooby Doo

Wilkie Collins – The Moonstone

What do you notice about this list, that I immediately noticed? They're all men. Who is an immediate name that comes to mind, who even had public domain stories as of 2022, who probably should be on a list like that and who also has incredible influence over the direction of the genre? Oh, I don't know, maybe Agatha Christie? (Also Dorothy L. Sayers is also right there and available, but skipping Christie?)

And once she'd built up this "it's all the detective stories" premise, Fitzmartin then went for a book code (cool!) from non-existent books (not cool). If you've just spent all this time glorying in how this is all related to Specific Classic Detective Stories, why not...use a real book code and refer to their actual stories? You've already done it for the plots! Commit to the bit!

Also I spent a good chunk of issue #4 staring at the page going "Carol Donovan? You mean Deb Donovan's judge daughter who recently appeared in Mariko Tamaki's 'Tec run? Tim, how are you missing something this straightforward? Also she's dead?" and then it never came to anything. Maybe do a quick check if anyone else has been using the name you just invented for the story.

"I even tried making a new costume for myself. It doesn't fit." - I did find it interesting that Fitzmartin was once again playing with the "is it time to move on" themes for Tim that were popping up around here in various conversations. Especially given she had Tim and Dick relitigate their conversation from Urban Legends #10 and similar themes in DC:YJ. It does suggest to me that she was working her way around to getting Tim into a new identity, but cancellation has once again left that in the 'not happening' basket.

In terms of the art: Riley Rossmo was the wrong pick for the title, but I do see the thought process that led into him getting the nod for the opening story, given the whole claymation villain set. It was very 2D animation style. I don't mind Rossmo (and interestingly he's developing a whole line up of detective stories he's done art for, given he's also had a Martian Manhunter book and got Wesley Dodds, he did one of the Batman/The Shadow crossovers...) but his highly malleable art style loses a lot of background detail or makes what is there harder to parse.

I did very much appreciate the way Rossmo drew Tim's detective work, though. I liked the technique for highlighting details and clues, and it actually very much reminded me of how some computer games present clues (including how it's done in Gotham Knights, in fact).

I know everyone has said this, but Bernard needs to develop a personality AND to commit to whether or not he knows Tim is Robin. Because sort of hinting that he knows, while Tim worries about hiding things from him, but not actually confirming either way is only really acceptable if you actually do build up to a big reveal moment where the whole drama has been paid off.

I did appreciate that MegFitz had clearly taken feedback and returned one of Bernard's two pre-existing personality traits (conspiracy theorist who thinks the Bats are urban legend cryptids), because one of the weaknesses of using Bernard, a side character with 6 preboot appearances, is that at lot of his existing personality was sketched in. He was a conspiracy theorist, and he desperately wanted to be popular but wasn't, so he presented himself as having a Cool Guy's Personality (see: 'your step-mom is hot'). Now, Meghan Fitzmartin wants us to read into that second trait as a facade that Bernard was putting up to deal with the fact he was gay and hiding it, probably even from himself, at the time. Which, fine, it's a perfectly reasonable reading of Bernard (and to her credit, MegFitz has Bernard spell it out a little on page in TD:R), but the problem is...you've just lost one of the two identifiable traits of 'Bernard' and it hasn't been replaced with anything else. And while 2004 in comics was still trying to hold onto the Urban Legends reading for the Bats to an extent (though it was failing), 2022 comics has so long since abandoned it that Bernard having kooky theories about Batman's connection to Mothman or whatever is very...why?

And because both of these pre-existing personality traits are under strain from the context, it really is sort of necessary to give Bernard something else about him for people to latch onto for his personality. And it doesn't really seem to be there yet (as of #6). It's the same complaint that people have about Jon/Jay and a whole host of other partners for recently out superheros: they're generically pleasant, supportive and bland, with about the depth of a mirror. Give me some of the toxic drama the 30 year old lesbians are allowed. Where is my breakup over custody fights with an ex and one of the two getting seduced by a vampire.

[diamondoffaith]

The Doll Filled with Love (I'm Stitch Dot Analysis/Theory)

roma :(

full eng lyrics

LYRICS

This is honestly tricky to clearly put into words but the general idea is that Romarriche is (like) a doll. Whether it's to be taken literally or not isn't clear. He is like Marroncream's doll, a product of her love (which also explains why her kingdom sees her as more of a "mother"). As a doll, he can't express the same emotions back to her, but he appears almost desperate to do so.

"Why is man born sewn together? As it covers up the chest" = Why can't a doll show it has a heart, already being sewn with a complete/covered up body

"Stitches" are how Romarriche shows his love, as he can't express them naturally like a regular fairy would. Each thread filled with his inner thoughts and tenderly putting something back together or connecting with someone.

But his own stitches also make up his wounds. He gives himself these wounds as a reminder of what "love" feels like

The cat's cradle could be talking about that infinite string game, meaning Romarriche could be doomed to always eventually forget what love is.

A bit similar to Ever Red - " "Once the ribbon is tied, the knot marks are still there." Once pain is inflicted, the wounds and memories are still there. "

Except this time the wounds are intentional, a permanent memory of love, something Romarriche needs to keep.

"I'm Stitch Dot" = Romarriche is filled with these threads/wounds of "love", but is that really enough to fully express genuine love? The threads could still unravel and break, making Romarriche lose everything all over again. He needs to unravel himself, learn of the real heart inside the doll.

VOICE DRAMA DETAIL

The thing is. after noticing these things it's easier to see how "emotionally flat" Romarriche is in the voice dramas now. He's always calm and gentle with occassional laughter and tonal changes, but overrall it's hard to decipher what emotion he truly feels. Even when fighting the seed he didn't sound all that angry he was kinda just like. "You. Get out. Now."

MV

The mv is scattered with roses (most obviously because it's a symbol for Marroncream's kingdom). Outside of romance, red roses symbolize hope, passion, admiration, and deep commitment. Similarly, white roses symbolize purity and loyalty.

The red threads in the 1st image also look similar to spider webs. Each string is needed to keep the entire web stable, which can represent the experiences and lessons Romarriche (the web itself) has been through on his goal to express true love.

The backgrounds in most of the mv are patchwork fabrics, showing the various aspects that make up "Romarriche" as a whole.

BONUS

PURUROMA W ROMA STRUGGLING WITH EXPRESSING EMOTIONS VS PURUTH BEING THE EMBODIMENT OF THE EMOTION OF JOY IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

If taken literally and Romarriche PHYSICALLY IS a doll (created by Marroncream), he can be considered as Marroncream's masterpiece and she has pictures of him hanged up everywhere 🥹

YOU KNOW HOW I USED TO PUT LYRICS AT THE END OF MY ANALYSIS POSTS THAT START TO HIT HARDER AFTER READING THE ENTIRE THING. WELL I JUST DID THAT AND GOT ANOTHER THOUGHT. Marroncream is saying the line below, saying she'll fix Romarriche up everytime he wants to relearn love 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

I'll sew you my love over and over again

[mattszombie]

FAKING IT? || M.STURNIOLO

chapter 6

enemy!matt x fem!reader. YOU ARE TESS!

Tess gritted her teeth, fingers hovering over her phone screen as she debated her response. Every part of her wanted to send back something scathing, something that would wipe that smug grin off Matt’s face—because she knew he was smirking at his phone right now, probably loving every second of this.

Instead, she locked her phone and threw it onto the bed. Out of sight, out of mind.

Jordyn, of course, was watching with far too much amusement. “You know ignoring him is only going to make him try harder, right?”

Tess flopped onto the bed with an exaggerated groan. “Why is my life like this?”

Sophie chuckled sleepily. “Because the universe loves drama. And honestly? So do I.”

Jordyn nodded. “Same.” Then she smirked. “You should wear the hoodie to practice.”

Tess sat up so fast she almost got whiplash. “Are you insane?”

Jordyn shrugged, like she wasn’t trying to start a war. “I mean, at this point, people already think there’s something going on. Might as well commit to the bit.”

Sophie grinned. “Ooooh, yeah. Fake dating era?”

Tess gaped at them. “No. Absolutely not.”

Jordyn just gave her a knowing look. “Alright, alright. But if I see that hoodie on you again, just know I’m gonna start placing bets on when you two finally snap and make out.”

Tess grabbed a pillow and whacked her with it.

Tess arrived at the field earlier than usual, needing time to get her head on straight before dealing with Matt. She was still mentally screaming over that stupid video and the way people were now looking at her like she and Matt were some kind of thing.

She was tying her cleats when a familiar voice drawled behind her.

“Well, well. Look who decided to show up early. Dedicated captain behavior.”

Tess clenched her jaw before glancing up. And there he was—Matt Sturniolo, lacrosse stick over his shoulder, smirking down at her like he was enjoying her misery.

“Go away, Sturniolo.”

“Not possible,” he shot back. “Seeing as we’re co-captains and all.” He took a seat beside her on the bench, stretching his legs out. “So, you gonna thank me for keeping you warm last night, or…?”

Tess turned to glare at him. “I hate you.”

Matt just smirked wider. “You keep saying that, but your actions?” He gestured lazily. “Kinda telling a different story.”

Tess narrowed her eyes, opening her mouth to argue—except, at that moment, one of the guys from the boys’ team jogged past and winked at her.

Her stomach dropped.

“Oh my God,” she muttered, realization hitting like a truck. “They all saw the video, didn’t they?”

Matt stretched his arms behind his head, looking way too pleased. “Yup.”

Tess let out a frustrated groan. “I am going to kill Jordyn.”

Matt chuckled. “Hey, don’t be mad at her. She’s just giving the people what they want.”

She whipped her head toward him. “And what exactly do they want?”

Matt tilted his head, pretending to think. “Hmm. Probably to see us make out.”

Tess actually choked. “Excuse me?”

Matt just grinned. “I’m just saying, if we did fake date, we could totally milk this for all it’s worth.”

She stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “You cannot be serious.”

“Oh, I’m so serious,” he said, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Think about it, Tess. We play into it for a little bit—ride the hype, make people lose their minds. Then we ‘break up’ and go back to hating each other. Win-win.”

Tess wanted to shut it down immediately. To tell him he was an idiot and that there was no way in hell she’d fake date him of all people.

But then she glanced toward the field, where their teams were gathering—where people were still giving her looks.

Rumors were already spreading.

The damage was done.

Her fingers curled around her lacrosse stick as she looked back at Matt, who was watching her expectantly. Smugly.

And God help her…

She was actually considering it.

After practice Tess sighed dramatically as she slid into the passenger seat, scrunching her nose as she took in the dimly lit parking lot. “Eugh, why did we have to talk in your hookup spot?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head as he leaned back in the driver’s seat. “This isn’t my hookup spot. But good guess.”

She gave him a skeptical look. “Really? Because this screams ‘Sturniolo Makeout Headquarters.’”

He smirked. “Nah, if I was bringing you to my hookup spot, you’d know.”

Tess made a disgusted face. “Jesus Christ, you’re actually insufferable.”

Matt only grinned. “And yet, you’re still here.”

She groaned, rubbing her temples. “Let’s just get this over with. What’s your big plan, genius?”

Matt turned to face her, his usual cocky expression settling in. “Alright, here’s the deal. We fake date. We make people believe it. We shut down the rumors and own the narrative.”

Tess eyed him suspiciously. “And why, exactly, do you want to do this? You love when people talk about you.”

Matt shrugged. “Yeah, but I love messing with people even more. And watching everyone lose their minds over us? That sounds fun as hell.”

Tess exhaled through her nose. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Matt blinked. “Wait—really?”

“But,” she continued, pointing a finger at him, “we make it a competition.”

His brows lifted in intrigue. “I’m listening.”

“Whoever convinces the most people that we’re actually together wins,” Tess explained, tilting her head. “And the winner gets the MVP title. No backing out.”

Matt’s lips curled into a grin. “Damn, I love the way you think.”

She smirked. “I know.”

He held out his pinky. “Deal?”

Tess narrowed her eyes. “A pinky promise? Seriously?”

“Pinky promises are legally binding,” Matt said, completely serious.

Rolling her eyes, she hooked her pinky around his. “Fine. Deal.”

Matt’s grin widened. “This is gonna be fun.”

She shook her head. “One more thing.”

He raised a brow. “Oh boy.”

“We can’t tell anyone it’s fake,” she said firmly. “Not your brothers. Not Jordyn. Not Sophie. No one.”

Matt tilted his head. “Even Chris?”

“Especially Chris,” Tess said. “He would never let me live this down.”

Matt snorted. “Yeah, okay. Good call.”

She smirked. “I know.”

Matt rolled his eyes but looked way too entertained. “Alright, Coleman. Let’s see if you can keep up.”

Tess leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms. “Oh, you have no idea what you just signed up for, Sturniolo.”

A/N: chapter 7 probably won’t be put up until way later tonight cause i have lil date.

[tobiasdrake]

The Hundred Line: Last Defense Academy 85- You Tell 'Em, Shouma!

Day 31 of 100 and it's Free Time! There's still a little friction between our teams but on the plus side we get to level up and do stuff, so that's always fun.

Alright, I was a little nervous that we might be expected to craft individual consumables, and that was going to make me give this whole system a miss. But no, it actually looks like we just level them up the way we level our squad members up.

That makes sense.

If we do start doing some Uchikoshi timeline-hopping bullshit, I hope we keep our upgrades. I doubt it. But it'd be nice.

Alright, first things first. We have four new people so we might be able to broaden their horizons with new attacks.

Can't go wrong with new attacks.

In any case, these upgrades take a lot of materials so today is going to be an Exploration Day. We need rocks and plants.

We've also gained access to new areas. We can go north or east. Let's go north. I'm curious to find out if the North area is going to be the surroundings of the Second-to-Last Defense Academy.

Yep. There it is. There's Second-to-Last Defense Academy.

Also a cave that is definitely owned by a moblin who might make you pay for fixing his door or give you money. Either way, it's a secret to everybody.

...and whatever that fucking thing is.

What the fuck.

I'm a little dismayed that there doesn't seem to be any way to actually go inside and explore these places, but I'll try to get close to them and see if anything happens.

Never mind. Today was a fucking shitshow. Every single space damaged a party member regardless of what I did and 90% of them were metal salvage.

So that was fun. Well, they can't all be winners.

On to Day 32 of 100.

...we'll just pretend it's not right there on your sprite.

In any case, I completely believe that this is a habit Kurara gets into. She seems like a shameless troll. You should probably be less trusting around her, but if you're the Gonta to her Kokichi then there's nothing the rest of us can really do about that.

Oh cool, the Holy Jumonji Sword is a she. That's good to know.

And. No. Yeah. I feel ya. If my sword was alive, it'd be super awkward pooping with it in the room. I don't know why I even suggested it, outside of a general inability to really listen to people and understand what they're about.

If you guys want to join them for Monokuma Morning Workouts, by all means. Takemaru, you should go too; Your dad was literally the only person who enjoyed the original.

This could be a fantastic team-building exercise if we were all onboard with it. A good way of getting to know the B-Team while also demonstrating our commitment to protecting the school, since we know that's an important value to them.

Yeah but guts hit harder when they're supported by muscle.

You tell 'em, Shouma! See, he knows what's up. Without the musculature to move them around and carry out their needs, guts would just be reduced to flopping aggressi--

Shouma?

...Shouma? Buddy?

You're, uh....

You're kinda freaking me out.

Blink twice if you're dead.

Shouma.

Shouma!

Fucking hell, Shouma. You scared me half to death. What the actual fuck was that? It was like you were in some kind of a zombie trance or, like, having an out of body experience or....

I don't fucking know how to describe it. You were doing something....

Yeah, like that! That's exactly what....

...oh fuck me.

It's worth a try! Gaku, grab me one of the big knives from the Kitchen Asuras. I'd get it myself but they might have some kind of mechanism that makes them maul people in self-defense. If so, better you than me.

DON'T KNOCK IT UNTIL I'VE ALREADY TRIED AND FAILED AT IT!!! You're such a buzzkill, Takemaru! You get it from your dad!

That's also true of you, Ima, but there's a reason I haven't tied you up in the Quiet Time Corner yet. The bathroom, specifically, is the Quiet Time Corner.

It's because the others won't let me, granted. But that IS a reason!

Ima, you're such an asshole that you made Gaku go to bat for someone.

I want you to go sit in a hole and think about what you did.

While I shovel the dirt back into it.

So, since Eito's got me on this parallel universes thing, I'm now thinking that the TRC memories are all memories of parallel realities. I speculated before that we're all from different simulations and that's why we don't know each other.

Same theory but now it's a parallel universe twist. The reason we don't know each other is because none of us have memories native to this timeline. The memories we're receiving are of out parallel universe selves, who might still be alive and well and perfectly happy living out their lives in those universes.

Or... maybe they're not.

That could be the hidden meaning behind Sirei's "Your first battle whoops I meant not your first haha" thing.

When the Bing-Bong Bandits crashed the TRC, I think that might actually have happened. That was how the TRC ended in that timeline.

We each remember a different timeline where our variant from that universe met Sirei and got pumped full of hemoanima on the day that the TRC fell to the Invaders. Something something memories transferred through hemoanima to our selves in this timeline.

Maybe our bodies were created by the Revive-o-Matic. In each timeline, one of us went to Kamukura Hospital and they scanned our DNA or something in the Dark Room machines. And that got sent across realities somehow?

Or maybe these are our native selves from this timeline. I dunno. I still feel like we're clones.

But by our memories, we're each from a different reality. That's the trick. There probably is no TRC in this universe. It's probably been wiped out already. But if we can hold the line here then... somehow all the Invaders across the multiverse will be erased or... or something.

This also... *sigh* ...means the odds of a Replacement Goldfish Romance plot just went up by a wide margin. "My variant and your variant were a thing so now we can fall in love all over again~!"

Bleh.

In any case, we have just enough of a lead that the pieces are coming together but the details remain blurry. I think.

I thought I was going somewhere with Shouma blanking out like that but... I just don't know. If we're clones made from hemoanima, then maybe people with insufficient hemoanima just... deactivate sometimes. We've never seen Nozomi do it but... we don't know that she doesn't, and her crew are very protective of her.

Hmm....

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

Character Q&A - Mallory & Wil - June '24

Hey peoples!

Over on Patreon, members can submit questions for poll-winning characters to answer in-character. The current hotseat belongs to Mal and Wil simultaneously. Since the answers are public, I figured why not post them here too. Enjoy!

For Mal:

Q: Mal, is there a look you feel the most comfortable in?

A: Sorta? It's more like, there's a range I prefer staying inside. I don't like being too tall or too short, I like keeping the toned bod. I'd have glasses a lot more if they weren't a pain in the ass with a mask. Usually prefer not being too masc or fem, but that depends. It's a comfort thing. Oh, and I don't like changing ethnicity. I dunno how to explain it but it feels, like... yeah I dunno. Lying isn't usually a problem for me but that kinda deceit makes me feel not okay.

Q: When did you first discover you could do what you do?

A: I was like nine or ten and I was screwing around in the kitchen. I think I was trying to microwave dirt or something? I was a little shit when I was a kid. Anyway I picked up my toasty dirt and my hand kind of just melted and I'm freaking out and thinking I invented acid dirt. Luckily mom was there and ran in and she kinda knew what to do, so I put my hand back together and started changing skin colours. Red, blue, orange, all kinds. Then I got grounded for microwaving dirt.

Q: What's your idea of a good date?

A: Hm, good question. I like to switch things up, but I'd rather be doing like, an activity. I get kinda restless with sitdown stuff like dinner or going to the movies. Would rather curl up at home if we're gonna watch something. But yeah, like, going to the club, dancing, just doing things in each other's company, and if we can go home and cuddle or uh, more, afterward, then even better. I mean that's not essential, touch is just a thing for me.

Q: What do you think of the new members?

A: Teddie needs to lighten up. I know his power is a shitty hand, but the grouchy act gets kinda old when you're trying to work as a team. Kay's fun, though if she sticks with this career she's either gonna wise up or she's gonna get burned hard. Still, it's nice having someone around who gets gender stuff. I like Wil but I don't think he's cut out for this line of work. Just a feeling. Guilty conscious, you know?

[MC] is interesting. 'lil bit of a wildcard. Definitely holding a lot back, but who isn't? There are deep wounds there, and I mean deep. I dunno. People with nothing to lose are dangerous, and I doubt [MC] has much.

Q: What kind of movies / TV shows do you like?

A: I'm an unrepentant lover of trash. Give me shitty reality TV and direct to DVD movies. Musicals, too. Just, uh, hope you don't mind hearing all the songs over and over the next few days cause I'll be singing them nonstop.

Q: Did you ever think of being an actor?

A: Nah, not for me. Only two things I ever wanted to be. Still working on those.

For Wil:

Q: Wil, what's your idea of a good date?

A: A good date's one where everyone enjoyed themselves. The actual activity could be almost anything. I love taking people to concerts, though. Not big ones, I'm talking the kind that you get at a bar or maybe a smallish performance centre. There's just something special about it.

Q: What do you think of the group?

A: I don't like that Dion kept things quiet until we'd already committed ourselves. I'm all for giving the government a big fuck you, but Dion held it back on purpose. Makes it harder to trust him. The group as a whole is alright, I guess. Get along okay with everyone. Little surreal to have coworkers and friends as a villain. Hanging out with buddies in downtime isn't something I ever pictured villains doing, you know?

[MC] worries me a bit. There's this... haunted air, and that doesn't happen out of nowhere. I kind of hope there's something I can do to help.

Q: What music do you listen to?

A: K-pop and country.

*cracks up*

Okay, that was a lie. Yeah, I'm absolutely predictable. I like punk and metal, bit of alt rock. I have a pipe organ album, too.

...what?

Q: How did you meet Teddie and Kay?

A: We were all younger. Their powers were both already a thing, mine weren't. They used to hang out a lot in this one neighourhood next to the Parks which is basically the Parks minus one percent, and I happened to work at a coffee place there. They came in now and then, got the impression they couldn't really afford it very often. Exchanged a few words here and there, hadn't really met them until they staggered in one day all bloody and bruised. I guess I was the nearest person they vaguely thought they could trust?

Anyway that's how I wound up getting introductions while fixing Teddie's broken nose.

[cl0ckworkqueerness]

ok so new gender hypothesis is cooking in my brain. i cant go too into detail or conduct proper research right now because 1 i have work in like two hours and 2 i am doing university bullshit. but Basically i am hypothesizing that there is something known as gender involvement, or in layman's terms, how much one Gives A Damn about their gender.

here is the HYPOTHESIS. remember this is NOT PROVEN. MORE RESEARCH NEEDS TO BE DONE ON THIS.

ignore the dogshit graph, but basically i hypothesize that all people exist on a spectrum of gender involvement, most likely distributed in a normal fashion (bell curve). in the middle lies most of the population, where their gender means Something to them but it is not an all-encompassing part of their life or anything. they kinda care about it, but not an excessive amount

then on the left is the category of gender hypoinvolvement, which would contain the preexisting label of gender apathetic. basically, it's people who don't care about their gender more than the average person, people who don't care what you call them, basically the "I'm probably nonbinary but i got a job so idc about that rn" post

and on the right is something a little harder to describe: gender hyperinvolvement. (that's the category where i'd be, if you're curious.) basically, this group consists of people who care about their gender way more than the average person. they might have a very specific style they always try to adhere to, they might be very sensitive to their gender presentation, they might be so committed to "the bit" that their entire room is decorated very specifically to match their gender, etc. these people most likely take a lot of pride in their gender as well

and it is a side hypothesis of mine that neurodivergent people, autistic people specifically, may tend towards either of these extremes.

Again, this is a Hypothesis. This is a pre-hypothesis, in fact. i did no research whatsoever prior to making this post for full transparency, this is essentially me just saying "hey, maybe we should think and talk about this some more". if this concept already exists then that's my bad for not checking and full support goes to that existing theory. but for now i think this is neat

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Drama CD - Shimabara Disturbance Track 1 English translation

Happy new year everyone! I know it’s kinda late to be saying that... but whatever. Decided that I’ll only be translating track 1 this month and then not doing anything else until after February 22 since I need to study like 700 pages of text.... sorry but not really sorry? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (committing to writing my exam has cost me +$1000 so yeah.)

Anyway, in regards to the Hakuoki dramas that I wanted translated, this one probably ranked first or second, right next to Shinsengumi Oni-tan... but it was too much work to go look up the sections that were missing from the tl I found for the longest time.

As a warning, I HIGHLY ADVISE AGAINST READING THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED THROUGH THE SHIMABARA INFILTRATION MISSION FROM ZUISOUROKU (specifically Saito’s route, and I’m going stress the fact that this is NOT my bias speaking, and that this is a recommendation being made based on the drama itself, though it should probably be fine if you’ve watched the Hakuoki Sekkaroku anime...? Probably? Well, assuming that���s the one where they go to Shimabara since there are some spoilers for it too?).

Also, the promo video for this has been posted to my video blog if anyone wants to watch that. 

enjoy!

Hakuoki Drama CD - Shimabara Disturbance Track 1:  A Man Without Greed

Translation by KumoriYami

Hijikata: Thank you for all your hard work, Saito. It really was the right choice to leave capturing all the ronin at the inn to your Third Division.

Saito: Please don't say that, however, Vice-Commander, what is this money for?

Hijikata: It’s a bounty, a bonus for doing especially hard work. 

Saito: But, I was merely accomplishing my duties as a member of the Shinsengumi. How can I accept a bounty for it? Furthermore, this is too much.

Hijikata: I knew you wouldn't accept it. Forget it, I don't want to force you into accepting it because I often send you on difficult missions. If I give you the occasional reward, you shouldn't decline, and just accept it.

Saito: I understand, then I'll gratefully accept it.  

(Saito leaves the room and starts walking away)

Saito: A bounty...?

Saito: I can't betray the Vice-Commander's kindness, so I need to think about how to use this.... how should this best be used? Since there was so much of a bonus, it shouldn’t be spent all at once... In this case, exactly what should I do?

(sound of fighting from the dojo)

Saito: Hrm? It’s quite noisy in the dojo. is someone training the troops? I’ll go observe the situation..

Souji:  No good, no good~ your sword is too slow, your footwork is sloppy [or steps taken are too small. reword later?], and there are weaknesses everywhere! There are too many flaws, so if you don't want to die, you better work harder.  

Warrior:  Yes...

Saito: Hrm.

Souji: Areh, Hajime-kun, when did you get there/here? What's wrong? You look like you have something to say.

Saito: You’re still conducting harsh training as always. It’s fine if you train the troops, but there’s no point in causing injuries before they can become more useful. . 

Souji: Is that so? I’m already very gentle~. If this sort of attack killed someone, they'd immediately get cut down in real combat when fighting ronin~

Saito: Although that's true...

Souji: Anyway, would Hajime-kun like to have a match with me? That just now wasn't training for me. I'd be very happy if you were my opponent.

Saito: No, my apologies, but I have something I need to think about.

Souji: What's wrong? You aren’t speaking clearly.

Saito: I have abrupt question for you, Souji.

Souji: It's rare for Hajime-kun to consult me. What is it?

Saito: If you were suddenly given a lot of money, how would you use it?

Souji: Me? In that case... I'd buy some candy and share/eat with the kids living nearby.

Saito: Ah.... I see....

Souji: Isn't it rude to sigh/seem so disappointed after hearing someone else's answer? Speaking of which, did you receive a lot of money again?

Saito: Well....

Souji: That's why you should use it and not worry about it. It’s a luxury to worry about how to spend money.

Saito:.....

Souji: Just spend it however you want. Dignity and standards don't matter, regardless if that's in the eyes of Hijikata-san or anyone else.

Saito: If I was able to do what you suggested, I wouldn't have asked you.

Souji: Seriously? Hajime-kun, you really have no desires...

Saito: It’s true that I have no desires for material things. 

Souji: I think it’s just that you’re not materialistic. Well, my opinions won’t matter anyway. Besides snacks, all I can think about are the caltrops I bought and scattered in Hijikata-san’s room. 

Saito:....I’ll head back to my room to think about it again. Excuse me then, Souji.

(Saito walks away)

Souji: Huh... it’s a problem too be so rigid. 

-------

Saito: Then, what should I be doing? There’s nothing I need to buy right away, and I don’t want to spend money on food and drink either...

(sound of running then a door slides open)

Shinpachi: Yo, Saito! Excuse me!

Saito: Shinpachi? Sano and Heisuke, what’s wrong?

Harada: Hehe, I heard about it, Saito. You received a large bonus, right?

Saito: That is the case. Why do you know that?

Shinpachi: Well, in any case, that doesn’t matter right? You're so serious, so even if you got a huge sum of money, you probably wouldn't know how to spent it, right? We just came over to give you some ideas!

Heisuke: Hajime-kun, how is that going? Have you made a decision on how to spend it?

Saito: No, not yet.

Harada: Let me ask you first, is there something that you want?

Saito: There's nothing I want in particular.

Shinpachi: If it's like that, then just go to Shimabara!

Saito: Shimabara?

Shinpachi: That’s right! Enjoy the company of geishas is the way to go, right?!

Saito: I'm sorry, I'm not interested.

Harada: Well, Saito is the same as always. What about getting a new katana?

Saito: Unfortunately, the blade was sharpened recently, and it is a Kunishige...

Heisuke: Ah~ I get it, I get it! Speaking of which, does Hajime-kun have any interests?

Saito: An interest? Why are you suddenly asking me this?

Heisuke: Generally speaking, people spend money on the things they like. I've never seen Hajime-kun spend money on his own interests.

Harada: That’s true. Do you have one?

Saito: An interest...? I appreciate katana and other things... 

Sano: No need to continue, I get it. 

Heisuke: That’s right... even when he has time off, Hajime-kun is still working...

Harada: This is a rare opportunity. Why don't you try something that you haven't done before?

Saito: Haven’t tried before?   

Harada: For example... reciting haiku like HIjikata-san. 

Shinpachi: That's true... you'd be very suitable to reciting haiku. So if you were doing that with HIjikata-san, it'd go like...

~~[this is being imagined]~~

Hijikata: It's become warmer, 

more recently it feels that, 

spring's finally sprung. [yeah that matches the 5-7-5 stanza haiku syllable count... why the hell did I try to match that?]

 How about it, Saito? Try composing a haiku about spring. 

Saito: Yes.

The warbler is perched [more literally it’s on a branch... but w/e]

It chirps again and again

It cries are ceaseless

Hijikata: Oh~ that wasn’t bad! Although it's very straightforward, it's very easy to understand.

Saito: I’m honoured to receive your praise. I will continue to improve from now on.

Hijikata:Ooh, the journey to learning haiku is long and hard, do your best.

~~~[end of imagination sequence]~~~

Shinpachi: No, it shouldn’t be like that... 

Harada: No, not like that. 

Heisuke: Anyway, it doesn’t cost money to compose haiku. At most, he could buy a few collections. 

Harada: That’s right, the purpose is to spend money.

Shinpachi: So, what about buying some delicious food? We could find out which store has the best dango and eat them all one by one. 

Harada: Why don’t you replace the dango with something more expensive? Like with sake to go drink.

Saito: Go drink?  

~~~imagination sequence~~~

Saito: Store owner, is there anymore sake left?

Owner: I'm terribly sorry, that was all the sake in the establishment

Saito: No, wait, the sake on the shelf over there hasn't been served yet.

Owner: Th-That's not for sale. It's a specialty sake from my hometown.

Serve it. I won't stop drinking until I have all the sake in the store. If you don't serve it...

(unsheathes blade)

Owner: Th-That sort of thing...Please wait!  Okyakusama!  Okyakusama..!

~~~[end of imagined sequence]~~~ 

Shinpachi: Is going out for sake supposed to be like that? 

Harada: No, it isn’t. 

Heisuke: Furthermore, that's what Sano-san wants to do right?

Harada: Then what ideas would you propose, Heisuke?

Heisuke: Eh: In... in that case... a show house [ 見世物小屋 is the word here in Japanese... Wikipedia says the term “freak show” is used overseas. had to get the audio as text because I wasn’t sure of the word I had used originally].?

Shinpachi: A show house? It's true that tickets are expensive so that might not be bad...

~~~[imagination sequence]~~~

(crowd going ooh)

Saito: Come one, come all Regardless of how ridiculous the order is, I will obey it without fail. I am the legendary dog with a human face [or human dog... I guess].

(crowd clamor)

Saito: Vice-Commander, please immediately give me an order. 

HIjikata: Saito! Apprehend Souji, who scattered caltrops around my room!

Saito: Understood! No, wan! Dog with a human face, going forth!

(crowd clamor)

~~~[end of imagined sequence]~~~ 

Heisuke: Why is Hajime-kun working for the show house? That would be for making money, not spending it!

Harada: And isn’t the dog with a human face just like the usual Saito? He’s someone who called a human with dog like traits.

Shinpachi: But with so many options, there should be something you're interested in. How about it, Saito?

Saito: No, I’m sorry, but I can’t accept any of these proposals you’ve given.  

Harada: Well, that’s how it is. 

Shinpachi: Sure enough, it’ll just be going to Shimabara. Occasionally, you do go drinking together with us! 

Harada: Can't you say anything else? He said it already that he wasn't interested.

Saito: But, it might not be bad to spend this money on someone else. I'll need to think this over again.

Heisuke: For someone else...?

Saito: Heisuke, what is it?

Heisuke: Eh? Ah, it’s nothing! 

Harada: Then, we’ll take our leave now. 

Shinpachi: Tell us when you figure out how to use it! If you decided on going to Shimabara, I'll approve of that!

(door slides open, Shinpachi and Harada leave)

Heisuke: Then, I’ll be going too. 

Saito: Wait, Heisuke. What was it that you were going to say? Your expression is strange. 

Heisuke: No, I was just a bit envious of Hajime-kun.

Saito: Envious?

Heisuke: If I had a lot of money, I would give Chizuru a beautiful kimono.

Saito: A beautiful kimono... like the clothes she wore when she infiltrated Shimabara?

Heisuke: That’s right, Chizuru was so cute then... No, uh, she was very happy!

Saito: Yukimura at that time... The day I infiltrated Shimabara, Yukimura, who had been disguised by Osen, seemed shy to show herself. I probably won't ever forget how she looked then. Her appearance wasn't changed at all, she simply wore a beautiful kimono, combed her hair, put on some hair pins and make-up, that's all it was. I couldn't even look directly at her. That's how beautiful Yukimura had become then...  

Heisuke: Hajime-kun! Hajime-kun! Hey Hajime-kun!

Saito: Uh.... Ah! What is it, Heisuke? 

Heisuke: What are you doing? Why are you suddenly dazed? 

Saito: No, it’s nothing. Sorry, what did you say?

Heisuke: I was just talking about giving Chizuru a beautiful kimono to wear! But that's impossible. How would hear wearing a woman's kimono be allowed at headquarters?

Saito: Nn, that’s right. 

Heisuke: Kodo-san is still missing, so I really want to do something that will help cheer her up.

Saito: Is Yukimura very depressed?  

Heisuke: It's not like that, but she might be forcing herself to smile. 

Saito:  That’s right...

Heisuke: I really want to do something for her. 

Saito: Ah...... But would she want to wear a woman’s kimono again? Or is it that I want to see her dressed up like that again? No, even though she’s usually wearing men’s clothing, it’s to be expected for her to want to dress up a woman. No, but... 

Heisuke: Hajime-kun. Hajime-kun. Hey~ Hajime-kun! Hah... he’s like this again... would it be better to just leave him be for a while?

---to be continued---

....in february. unless it’s fine to post track 5 and 6. since those are done while track 2 is incomplete.

[mysticiiisms]

OKAY i’m prompting you with 3, 26, and 45 from that list :) i first pictured Ruqaya for 3, but honestly i’d be interested in which of your characters comes to mind for any of those prompts!

AMAZING how it took me an entire week to get to this!! But hey, better late than never I guess! Which funnily enough is the kinda the quote from this one!

Hopefully it won't take me two more weeks to finish the others but anyway, for the time being...

"Well, it's never too late."

"Need any help?" had been my humble question.

And yet Ruqaya looked at me as if I had insulted her instead.

"No, thank you. I can manage," she replied, as courteously as usual, yet leaking some drops of annoyance.

It was clear that she wanted to be left to her own literal devices, that an ignorant foreigner who couldn't understand her people's complex machinery would only slow her work down. She hadn't said any of that, but I had spent enough time around her to guess that she was probably thinking it, while tinkering away.

So I turned around and went out to see how the rest of the Mechanicals were doing.

It was another beautiful day. Most of them were tending to some daily tasks on their many machines, and luckily happier to let my fellow Stoneshippers lend some hands. It was nice to see everybody working so closely, so much so that it might have been tricky to tell that we weren't all from the same world.

Bevel had settled in the middle of the citadel to look after the smaller kids, and at first sight I thought she was reading to them.

And technically she was, but it was something a little heavier than How The Lonely Jernhval Made Friends.

"Fundamentals of Engines...? Oh yeah, I did read that right," had been my puzzled reaction.

And she found it as amusing as I imagined she would.

"A fun title, isn't it?" she tittered, "I'm afraid we don't have any storybooks here..."

"But we're liking the engines!" chimed one of the kids.

"I like the turbine engine the most," added another.

"I like the beam engine," replied yet another.

It must have been exciting for them, the chance to learn and maybe even get to handle some machines. We had never done that kind of work back on The Rocks, I guess because our waterlogged caves weren't exactly suitable for mechanization. We only had pickaxes, shovels and the natural engines of our bodies. It was a real shame that they were so much harder to maintain.

"Were you talking to Miss Ruqaya just now, Emmit?" asked yet another kid, as the rest began to disagree and thus escalate into a messy debate on which engine was better.

"A while ago, but yeah," I replied. "She's still busy with the generator, so you're gonna have to wait before asking her whatever you're planning about engines."

"How's that going, by the way? Were there any salvageable pieces?" asked Bevel, and I shrugged a bit.

"She said she'd try and restore the whole thing, but..." I muttered, with a doubting hand behind my neck. "I don't know, it looked pretty old and crumbled to me... It might be too late already."

"Oh no, it's never too late," stated Bevel. "Not for Ruqaya. Nothing keeps her more committed than bringing a hopeless wreck back to life."

Then the kids asked for the book so they could marvel at some diagrams, and she held it out as I pondered for a few seconds.

"A hopeless wreck, huh..." I muttered, and then she turned back to me. "Maybe that's why..."

"Why...?"

"Why she wants to do it all alone," I explained. "Maybe it's some kind of thrilling self-imposed challenge of hers."

It wouldn't have surprised me. The Mechanical Princess would always take a lot of pride in her gift for tinkering, always having to prove and outdo herself again and again. Before linking to her place I used to think she was being pressured by her peers, but now I could tell that no one in the citadel would ever make any demands. Everybody loved and praised everything she did, sometimes even a little too much.

"...Honestly, I'd rather call it a self-imposed responsibility," replied Bevel.

She had raised her head to look at the sky, and I was tilting mine. Wondering what could have happened between the end of what Atrus had written about this age, as he'd say, and the beginning of those calming clouds on that restful blue. A whole decade of ruthless conquest and destruction had gone by, and I had been doing my best to document my side of the struggle, but I still hadn't heard from other victims.

I still had no idea of what had happened to Ruqaya, but she was definitely too young to be taking responsibilities through such wreckage.

"What did it, Bevel?" I pried, as gently as I could, "Who did that to her?"

Bevel sighed. It sounded like the perfect warning for the faltering answer I'd get.

"It's complicated."

[somewhereinthepines]

a/n: i’m cleaning up my writing files atm, and i found this lil thing. it was supposed to be a full-blown oneshot pwp, but idk if i will return to it like ever. to this set-up in particular, i mean. i might, but also not sure. so here as far as i’ve got with it. technically speaking, this can be considered an AU. ryan is around 23-24 in this fic. chris is 48. the rest of the counsellors are also older. and basically, ryan and chris both have tattoos in this fic, and pretty much look like their concept art versions. that’s the only time, when ryan is allowed to look cool. ever. 

and as to why jacob happens to be here…well, idk. he just is. 

either way, the pair is chris/ryan, there are hints of slight mature themes, but it never got past it lol. also i didn't re-read it, so if there are mistakes, so sorry.

————–

Emma was a freaking tease. Jacob knew it already. Knew it from the get-go, but he couldn’t help himself. He truly couldn’t. He was always getting frustrated with the way she taunted him. Giving him an inch, only for him to make it into a mile. 

Sure, it was part of the deal and they weren’t even dating, but deep down, he dared to hope for something more intimate, than a quickie and promise of maybe, maybe not doing it again. 

It was fun, of course. The things, that they did. Em had a fantastic body and she was more experienced, than most girls he was with before. Yet, it’s where she seemingly drew the line. She wouldn’t allow him to kiss her in public or even throw an arm around her shoulder. 

She resisted anything, that had something to do with them getting committed to one another, and despite how he should have been ‘respectful’ toward her wishes, it still managed to upset him. 

He naively thought, that they kinda had, you know, something special, maybe? A summer flick can grow past just a little crush, no one forbidden it to. 

But she was having none of that. 

She refused to give him any chance to actually show her, that he was pretty serious about making her his girlfriend. It seemed like she didn’t believe him. But Jacob was a stubborn guy, and he kept on telling himself, that he just needs to work harder to win her over. After all, Em was the girl of his dreams. Pretty, witty, and hot as hell. What is there not to want? He just had to try harder to make her see things his way!  

The only problem was, though, that he had no idea how to go about it. He only had one girlfriend before, and even then, she dumped him, because he wasn’t ‘sensitive enough’ for her or whatever. 

Jacob was pretty helpless, when it came to deciphering women's psychology. 

He could always ask Kaitlyn’s opinion on the matter, but she would make fun of him, abusing the boundaries of their friendship for her own amusement. And even if she would have been willing to actually help him, she wasn’t the most girly girl on the block. How would she know what Em might like? And Abi, well, yeah no. He doubts, that she will be of any help, either. She didn’t strike him as someone, who was on the same level as Emma. 

So with all those names crossed out, unfortunately, it left him only with one option. Not the best one. But who else was he going to ask for dating advice? Mister H? 

No, it was out of the question. He won’t ask some old dude, who clearly wasn’t doing anything sexual for years. Jacob needed a more ref-reshed opinion. Such as Nick or Dylan. They’d be able to help. 

For that, he smartly picked the time, when he had two of them in one place. During the breakfast, when everyone was way too sleepy to be smarasses and when, Emma was sitting out of ear-shot. 

It was perfect timing for sure. 

As soon as he was mentally ready, he blurted out, loud enough only for his buds to hear, “What should I do?” 

Dylan and Nick paused their heated discussion about some music band to throw weirded out looks at him. Ryan, on other hand, barely glanced at Jacob, pretty soon returning to poking at his food, like nothing had happened. He looked like he was still half-asleep. But Jacob couldn’t care less about that dude at the moment. 

“What?” Nick blinked, seemingly not following. 

“Yeah, what do you mean?” Dylan asked, leaning on the table, vaguely intrigued. “Did I miss something?” 

“It’s about –” Jacob couldn’t hold back an embarrassed, sheepish smile, that crawled on his lips. “Em.” 

“Oh…right, of course it is.” Dylan immediately looked bored, as if someone had flipped a switch inside his head. “It’s always about her with you, huh?” 

“Wh – no, it’s not!” 

“Yes, it is.” Dylan drawled out, eyes hooded and flat. “Oh Romeo, where is my Romeo?” 

“Did she dump you or something?” Nick chimed in, pushing a piece of broccoli inside his mouth. He was faintly smirking at angried look on Jacob’s face. “About the damn time. The summer is getting close to an end. It’s time to lose some extra weight.”

“Sick burn, man.” 

“I’m serious!” Jacob whispered-shouted, which only resulted in more recondited mockery. “I’ve – I’m asking you to help me!” 

“So she did dump you, then?”

Dylan snorted. Nick was openly smiling now. And Ryan just continued looking like he was pretty much out of it. 

“What? No. No!” Jacob shot back, glaring at them. “Don’t say that, man!”

“Why not? It’s not like she’s gonna date you outside of – umm – y’know, work and all.” Dylan supplied, getting an approving leer from Nick. “Summer affairs tend to be short-lived.” 

“Yeah, what he said.” Nick supported, mouthing another piece of his breakfast. “You win some, you lose some.” 

Jacob frowned, slowly getting frustrated with them. Those two fuckers were always ganging up on him, when it came to Em. But it wasn’t like he had much choice. He couldn’t figure it out on his own. He needed their help. Whether he wanted it or not. 

“I’m serious, dudesss.” Jacob said in a quieter, whiner voice. “I need some – uh, advice? Like pretty please?” 

“Like as in dating advice?” Dylan made a confused face. “From…us?” 

“How desperate are you?” Nick injected, also looking surprised. 

“I don’t know…very desperate?” Jacob offered, seeing a small shift in their behavior. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been asking.” 

“So you want us to help you to make Em like you again?” Dylan asked, rubbing his jaw, like he wasn’t too sure about his own wording. “Like make her get swayed by you?” 

Jacob nodded his head. “Ah, yeah. Yeeeah. I mean. Kind of?” 

“For real?” 

“Yes. Fucking damn it.” he was getting pretty angry here. “How many times do I need to repeat it?” 

Nick sighed, putting his cheek in the hollow of his palm, eyes skipping to the other end of the hall, where Emma chatted with Abi. She was fully oblivious about what they were discussing just a few feet away. Dylan looked into that direction too, humming. To their credit, they both actually seemed somewhat thoughtful now. 

“Well?” 

“I dunno, dude. Didn’t you try to like — aw fuck, I don’t know.” Dylan turned back to him. “Nick, what you’ve got? You’ve gotta have something, right?” 

Nick responded with an indifferent shrug. “Not really. I mean, did you try to do something romantic for her? Like take her to some pretty place?” 

Jacob did nothing of the kind, but this got his attention. “A pretty place? In here?” 

“Where else?” Nick said, playfully raising both of his brows up. “The town doesn’t actually have anything cool in it. And in nature…” 

“You can fuck in nature.” Dylan injected, seemingly proud of his sudden resolution “Do it the forest people style.” 

“Get it going in the bushes?” Jacob honestly thought, that they must be joking. Em would never agree to this kind of stuff. “That’s not serious, guys.” 

“Why not? You can go skinny dipping.” 

“Or you can stage it like you will.” 

“Oh.” 

Now, this was an idea. 

Jacob nodded, considering it. “Okay, okaaay. Continue.” 

“You, her aaand –” 

Dylan and Nick exchanged looks, and smiled at one another, as if knowing something, that he didn’t. 

“And?” Jacob urged, leaning over the table. “And what?” 

“And a private, secluded place. This is what you need.” Nick finished, while Dylan nodded, getting a sip of his coffee. “This will get the ball rolling.” 

“Yeah, you can surprise her and then, get some or whatever.” 

Jacob glanced at Em’s direction. Maybe, this indeed was what he needed. They don’t even had to have sex, maybe just talk about things, where no one can budge in. In the end, he just wanted to make her give him a chance. A real one. And if they’d be alone and she’ll see that he was honestly trying…this should sway her judgment, right? 

But it brings him back to another issue. 

“And where such a place might be?” 

“Uhhhh…well. I don’t know.” Nick answered, unbothered by Jacob’s fallen expression. “Somewhere?” 

“Oh come on, dude!” Jacob whined. “Don’t do this to me!” 

Nick’s state remained neutral, and Jacob started getting real worried here, but then – 

“Maybe, you should ask Ryan.” Dylan offered, pointing his fork at Mister Gloom-Doom, who barely flinched at the notion. “He knows the area better, than any of us.” 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea, actually. Ask him.” Nick murmured, getting back to his food. “Mister H probably showed him around a lot.” 

This was a good point, but it was Ryan, they were talking about. And if there was something, that everybody around here knew, it was that he and Jacob weren’t really getting along well. 

“I don’t think, that he can be –” 

“He sits right here, just ask him, geez.” Nick urged, before starting chewing on his bacon. 

Jacob looked at Ryan, and the other guy looked back at him. “So, Ryan…do you know such a place? For me and Em, I mean.”

The other teen didn’t respond. He didn’t even blink. Expression so-ever blank, the dark eyes slightly lidded. Always unimpressed and uninterested by anything or anyone. Jacob already wanted to punch him in the face. It was almost like an itch under his skin. 

“You’ve been here a lot, so –” 

“I’m not going to help you, dude.” 

He didn’t even hesitate or stammer when he said it. The asshole didn’t so much as bait an eyelid even. And while, Jacob expected it, this did nothing to prevent his temper from rising. Ryan really did pissed him off sometimes.  

“Wow, who would have thought.” Jacob bit back, childishly offended. “I mean, daaaamn. You can’t really contribute to anything, unless it’s a – let’s see, a discussion about how to deepthroat Mister H’s dick. Now, this would have been your field of knowledge, I’d imagine.” 

Dylan made a weird noise, that could have been a poorly stifled giggle, while Nick openly sniggered into his fist, masking it into a low cough. They both did a piss poor job of hiding their amusement. But Ryan himself barely raised a brow at him. 

“Nice one, Jacob.” Ryan deadpanned, taking a bite of his omelet. “I’m never going to recover from it.” 

“I’ll bet, that Mister H is into some kinky shit.” Dylan suggested. “Like some real dirty stuff.” 

“You, mean like an old pervert kind of shit?” Nick joined in, all too happy to spread rumors about their boss. “Roleplay? Or wait, the better yet. Underground BDSM club?” 

“Can you picture it?” Dylan laughed under his breath. “Mister H in leather?” 

“With some kind of torture thing.” 

“Like a paddle.” 

“Or a whip.” 

They could only hold themselves back so much, before they started laughing. Nick nearly choked on the last piece of his bacon. 

“Hey guys, can we please focus on me?” Jacob asked over their laughter, but was ignored. 

“He’s not into weird shit.” Ryan put his own two cents in, for once, looking somewhat annoyed. He always got all bristly and pissy, when they shit-talked his precious camp leader. It was almost like he cared about what they said about Mister Hackett way more, than what they said about Ryan himself. 

So typical for that guy. 

“Oh come on, Ryan. We’re just joking.” 

“Yeah, man. Chill.” 

“He can’t chill, though.” 

Everyone at the table looked up at him. The dramatic pause worked as a charm. 

If you can’t fight them, join them. 

“It gives him flashbacks.” Jacob said with a toothy smile, enjoying how Ryan’s hold on the fork tightened up as if on reflex. “Does he put you over his knee, when you’re being a bad boy, Ryan?” 

“Har-har.” Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Very funny, Jacob.” 

“What, I am just asking, man.” Jacob replied back, a smile still present on his face. “I mean, do you call him daddy? Or pappi? You look like you’d be into that!” 

Ryan’s eyes narrowed. “Are you done yet?” 

Jacob pretended to think. “Yeeeah, no wait. Wait. One last thing. Daddy Hackett.” 

This managed to send both Nick and Dylan into an absolute frenzy, they were openly laughing now, creating all kinds of rackets around the table. The other counselors and kids were glancing their way. But Jacob’s own attention was focused on Mister-Bitch-Resting-Face. He wouldn’t miss it for the world. The rare chance to see, Ryan actually losing even an inch of his cool. 

“So which one is it? You can tell us, we won’t judge!” 

“You really hang up on it, aren’t you?” 

“I don’t know.” Jacob shrugged. “What’s your favorite pose, by the way? Doggy style?” 

This finally hit the nail. Ryan’s breath hitched. His posture went rigid. And while one might mistake it for a sign of repressed anger, Jacob noticed how jerked his throat, and how quickly he went from tense to huddled, and oddly pissy, but in a very passive-aggressive way. 

Jacob had irked him for real this time. And he wasn’t about to stop. Fuck no. Why should he? Mister H’s personal Golden Boy deserved to be knocked down a peg. 

“Nothing to say for yourself, Erzahler?” 

He was anticipating his response. He waited for some sort of comeback or maybe, even something being thrown into his face. But in a second, all the pent-up energy seemingly left Ryan’s body, and his expression went back to being placid and bored. 

“Fuck off.” Ryan muttered, looking away. Defeated. 

“Awww…” Jacob coed. “Poor Ryan had –” 

“Hey, what’s going on over there?” 

Ahhh, fuck. 

He cringed, and turned over his shoulder to reassure Mister H, who was now glaring at them like a hawk. Sometimes, Jacob forgot that he was there during the morning hours too. “Nothing! It’s nothing!” 

“Nothing?” the older man’s face told him, that he wasn’t buying into Jacob’s bullshit. “It doesn’t look like nothing to me. What’s so funny, anyways?” 

“Ahh, it’s – no, really! That’s ahhh – that’s nothing, really!” Jacob waved his hand, hoping that it would pacify the other, and make the crowd stop eyeing him. Even Em was staring at him, slightly raising her brow. “This is just –” 

“Yeah, it’s nothing, Mister H.” 

Jacob paused, side-glancing at Ryan, genuinely taken aback. Not expecting him to come to Jacob’s aid, out of all people. But then, he noticed how there was a hint of light smirk on Ryan’s lips, and he immediately knew that it wasn’t anything good. Ryan might have told his jokes with a straight face, making people wonder if it was a joke at all. But he could deliver the punchline, if he really wanted to. 

“He just can’t count past forty five.” 

Some people started to laugh. Nick and Dylan laughed at this as well, not caring who was the target of their shared finger-poking. They seemed to love taking piss at everyone, really. 

“That’s –” Jacob felt his face flush with embarrassment. “That’s not true!” 

“Yeah, he slowly gets over forty six, though.” Ryan added, looking straight at him. “It’s very challenging.” 

“Fuck you!” Jacob quietly hissed, kicking Ryan into the shin under the table. Something had flashed through the other teen’s face then, and he kicked him right back. Jacob barely managed to bite back a painted groan. Ryan’s boots had a pretty heavy sole. “Ow, why you…” 

“Hope, that you like it.” 

“What?” Jacob raised his eyes and met that unbanished expression directly, and damn, he wanted to fucking throttle that prick. 

“Hey! HEY!” Mister H called out, getting up from his own seat. “Don’t make me go there, Custos!”

“What!?” he blinked, taken aback by such plain side-picking. “What did I do? Ryan is –” 

“I told you to knock it off, pal.” the older man warned him, tone serious and expression even more hardened. “I’m not jokin’ with ya. Don’t start something, that ya can't finish.” 

“But I –” 

“Calm yourself down. Now.” Mister H told him, like one would a disobedient dog and it was pretty much over, after that. At this point, it was pretty useless to try and defend himself, so he just sank back into his seat, throwing Ryan a dirty look. The other kid just scoffed at him, drawing his legs closer to the bench, and going back to straight up ignoring him. 

Fucking asshole. 

Mister H never got angry at Ryan. As if he was automatically blameless, and never guilty of anything. It got under Jacob’s skin at times. Just how easy it was for Ryan to mislead people with his quiet and usually non-conflicting persona. It’s like they literally believed, that he was any better, than an average man of their age. When he wasn’t. 

At least, Jacob wasn’t buying into that shit. There was just something very off about Ryan. Something, that made it hard to like him, but very easy to want to mess with him. He could never understand why Kaitlyn kind of liked the creep, when he didn’t even looked her way. 

But eventually, it all was sort of forgotten and Jacob went back to focusing on more important tasks such as getting Em see a real dating material in him. It was more urgent, than focusing on Ryan and how he got it all so ever easy. Besides, this plan might just work. 

Jacob felt good about this one. Real good. 

It should work out just fiiine. 

=====

It didn’t work out fine. Half-way through, he had already started suspecting that something was off. Nick and Dylan told him, that they had told Em, that Jacob told them to ask her if she would like to accompany him tonight. And then, as a final piece of their strange story, they told him, that she said yes. 

Dumbly and blindly, he had trusted their word. He went to the spot, where he was supposed to meet Emma. But it was becoming less and less likely, that she’d come. They said, that Em wanted to meet him on the Island, in the evening, when most of the counselors and campers will be getting ready for the night. But Jacob was yet to find any sign of her. Was she running later or…? 

Annoyed, he looked around, finding nothing, but well, the old boathouse. Nothing out of the ordinary. And Em was nowhere to be seen. 

Part of him suspected, that it might be a ruse. It won’t be the first time, when Nick and Dylan would use his affection for Emma to make a fool out of him. And it most likely won’t be the last. They still had a few weeks of summer left. 

Jacob re-adjusted his cap, looking up at the darkening sky. 

“Ahh, damn it…” 

The time was really running out for him, wasn’t it? 

But – 

But maybe, she was simply being fashionably late. Girls love to do this kind of thing. 

Not knowing if this all was for real or not, if Emma was still coming or not, he decided to wait it out in the boathouse. He might as well, see if she would be heading here from the higher point of the Island, rather than sulking on the bridge. 

“Okay, Jacob. Gotta wait for her a bit longer, I guess.” he told himself, filling the silence with his own voice, just to not let the anxiety take over. Perhaps, he still can get it going for him. 

Or maybe, not. 

Maybe, not today. 

He wasn’t sure how long he waited. One hour for sure, maybe more, but he nearly jumped off the second floor, when he saw a boat coming closer to an Island. Finally, she was –

But it wasn’t Emily. 

It was Mister H and…what the hell? Was it Ryan? 

They seem to not notice him too busy talking with one another. Jacob had no idea what they were discussing, he could only hear their muted voices, and see Mister Hackett nearly scrambling to get on the sandy surface, like he wanted nothing more, than to put a distance between himself and the water. 

Meanwhile, Ryan was tying the boat to the bridge pole, eyes downcast and mouth still running about whatever. As soon as he was done, he joined Chris and they walked towards –

Oh fuck. They were walking here. 

Jacob leapt away from the wooden border, heart beating loudly inside his ears. What should he do? None of the counselors were allowed to come here, after the camping activities were done with. And it was getting closer and closer toward nighttime. He would get in trouble for this! 

He couldn’t let them see him! 

The voices were getting louder and he could hear their footsteps making the old wood creak. They were fucking going up here! Damn! Damn it! 

Frantically, Jacob swiped his head around, attempting to pick a place to hide. 

Come on! Come on! 

“T-there!” he muttered to himself, feeling like he still could avoid getting caught. 

Quickly, he rushed toward one of the tables, crawling underneath it, right to the point, where there were too many chairs for them to hopefully notice him. He could hide behind them for the time being. And it wasn’t like it was actually all that bright anymore either. 

The sun was about to set in an hour or two, so maybe –

“I can’t believe, that he said it.” 

This was unmistakably Mister H’s voice. 

“He did.” 

And this low drawl was clearly Ryan. But what the fuck Ryan was even going here, and with their boss? So late too? How come that rules didn’t apply to him as well? 

Jacob could barely process what this situation even was, but he didn’t have all that much time to dwell on it. His breath came short, when both men walked through the doorway. Mister Hackett was holding a pack of…beer? And Ryan was dragging after him, seemingly familiar with this ‘routine’, like they did it before. 

And what the hell was this all about? Did Chris allow Ryan to drink at work? 

While Jacob was still somewhat shocked with this development, Ryan settled on one of the tables, putting his boot on the nearest chair, rocking it. The older man placed the beer pack right next to his hip, pausing like he had noticed something out of order. 

“And then, it’s –”

“Wait a second, bud.” 

Jacob watched in horror how Mister H took a step back from the table, and slowly rounded the room with his stare. The look inside his irises was oddly intense, not the kind that he ever saw the man having. Then, weirdly enough, Mister H’s nose twitched, like he was sniffing air. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“Ah, no…” Chris narrowed his eyes, looking from one side to another. “No, it’s just — oh, here it is.” 

He slowly stalked closer to the place, where Jacob was hiding and for a second, he thought that he was found out. But Chris reached for something, that was on the table, instead of looking underneath it. 

“Ah-ha.” judging by the sound, the olderman shook the object in his hand, before throwing it to Ryan, who caught it with ease. A bottle opener.  “I knew, that it was around here somewhere.” 

“You always forget stuff.” Ryan told him in an even voice, opening one of the bottles and hissing, when some of the foam dripped past the glass, and all over his fingers. 

“Not always.” Mister H responded, returning to his previous spot. 

“You forgot the password to your own safe the other week.” 

“It’s because I’ve changed it.” Chris chuckled at his own statement, rubbing the back of his neck as if embarrassed. “And yeah, you’ve right, I pretty much forgot, that I’ve changed it afterwards.” 

“It’s all because of the beer.” Ryan tilted his head a bit to the side, allowing Chris to take the bottle away from him. 

“Oh yeah?” the older man took a large sip, while Ryan stared at him. “Think so, mm?” 

“Yeah. It’s like – uhh –” he bit down on his lip, thinking about the word. “The Devil’s brew.” 

“The Devil’s brew?” Chris licked his lips, giving Ryan a crinky, cheery look. “I heard it somewhere before.” 

Ryan shrugs. “My grandma calls it that. And she’s like a hundred years old.” 

“Are you calling me old again?” Chris quirked a brow up. “Think, that only the old people know what it is?” 

“Not what I’ve said.” 

Ryan suddenly reached his hand, wrapping his fingers around Chris’s and tilting the bottle toward himself, taking a large gulp, that resulted in him starting coughing. It must have hit the wrong place inside his throat. Chris sighed and lightly patted him on the back, not even scolding him for such sort of behavior. 

Jacob frowned. Still confused. 

So, was Ryan allowed to drink for real, then? 

“Sh-shit…” 

“Ah, Ryan.” Mister H mumbled. “Don’t hurry. Drink in small gulps, yeah?” 

“Yeah, y-yeah, I – I know, it’s just –” Ryan wiped his mouth, right afterwards grabbing Chris’s uniform and tugging him a bit closer. “I kind of…uhh. I kind of tired of waiting.” 

“Ohhh…I see.” Chris drew out, understanding something, that Jacob didn’t. “How cruel of me to deny you this, mm? Want to get it on now already, champ?” 

Slowly, Ryan nodded, still gripping the lapel of Chris’s shirt. Still staring him dead in the eyes. And if Jacob didn’t know any better, he’d thought, that they were about to make out with one another. But –

No. 

Now, that would have been fucking weird, if they did. Like as if every lewd joke, that he and the boys made about Ryan and Mister H had suddenly turned out to be true. 

“I’m better start, before ya'll get all impatient, then.” Chris said, voice getting lower, deeper. “You’re ready for it, right?” 

Another nod. 

“Y-yeah.” 

Chris’s hands brushed the back of Ryan’s neck. “Good.” 

Behind the bunch of chairs, crumpled in tiny space, Jacob took it all in. There was a lot of familiarity between them. And it’s not like no one had ever noticed it before. It was enough to just look at them interacting, really. But it felt so much more casual now, somehow. Like Ryan and Chris were hanging out like this all the time. 

It felt so weird to see it happening without them knowing, that he was there. But his brain had only truly zeroed out, went completely blank, when Mister H took a hold of Ryan’s chin, in a gesture so sure and confident, like it was done time after time, and pressed their mouths together. 

Jacob’s own mouth involuntarily hung open, as he stared and stared, as if it would disappear or he would wake up. But it did not. And he didn’t wake up with a gasp. Instead, it was Ryan, who gasped into the older man’s lips, slightly aching into Chris’s other hand, when it crawled up his leg, right under his undershirt. 

And holy moly, it got intense pretty fast from there. Jacob wasn’t expecting them to just go for it, like that. Not that he expected them to go for it at all. But the kiss turned from somewhat slow into a dirty one, and he couldn’t foresee Ryan even knowing how to kiss, but he clearly knew what he was doing. Moving his jaw and grabbing Chris’s arm, trembling fingers pressing into his tattoo, sliding against heated skin while the older man sucked all the air out of his lungs. 

It was as if he attempted to choke him with the kiss alone. 

And Ryan was clearly into it too. Into not able to breath, aside from panicked, fastered inhales and exhales through his nose. It wasn’t the first time, when they did it, clearly. So how many times…? No, wait. Why does he even think about that!? 

It was so odd and wrong, but also, he probably shouldn’t be all that shocked, considering that Ryan never hid his apparent boner for Mister H. And speaking of boners, Jesus…

It didn’t take Mister H long to just slam his hips between Ryan’s spread legs, and lightly rub against him, while they were making out. Ryan seemed pleased, eager even. 

And this was weird too. Jacob could never imagine Chris as someone, who was this straightforward and latently aggressive. Sure, the guy had a bit of a temper at times, but usually, Mister H was pretty tame and somewhat polite. For him to just eat face with one of his counsellors like that? 

What was going on?

“Mhh!” 

Ryan made another noise, twitching against Chris and sort of attempting to reach for his belt, but his hand was stopped half-way. Mister H just kept it there against his hip, not allowing it to go any further, sort of jamming it against his growing erection. And yeah, Jacob could see it from his place, thank you very much. 

“C-come on…” Ryan rasped, when they separated after what seemed like an hour. “I need t-to –” 

He took a deep breath, still unable to recover, while Chris only smiled at him. It wasn't an unkind smile either. It was pretty warm and found, but also knowing and vexed. 

“You’re really inpatient today, buster.” Chris noted. “Can’t hold it back?” 

“Y-yeah…” Ryan sucked in another shaky breath, and nodded, watching Chris through half-lidded eyes. “I just really want you to…uh…y’know to uh…” 

“To fuck ya silly?” Chris asked, and it was so bizzare hearing him saying something like that. For a moment Jacob honestly thought, that he was asleep and it wasn’t for real. But then it got worse, “Raw you up for good, eh?” 

Ryan’s face flushed, and he slightly turned his head away, but Chris wrenched it back, using a grip on his jaw. His other hand relaxed his hold around Ryan’s wrist, and snaked back under the younger man’s shirt. He was in less hurry now, as if merely wishing to prolong this torture for everyone inside the room. 

“Wanna get all handsy with me, Ryan?” 

“Chris –!” 

Ryan couldn’t quite double-over, pretty much stuck with Mister H keeping him in place by his body and hands, and table not letting him go anywhere else. For a moment, Jacob wondered how Ryan could stand this much body contact and heat, but at the same time still long for more. 

Jacob got dirty with at least four girls in his lifetime, and neither of them looked so willing and eager to push even further, to be even closer, than this. 

But Ryan did. His whole body shivered, either from whatever Chris did under his shirt or maybe, because he wasn’t allowed to go any further than this just yet. It must have driven a guy nuts. It would have driven Jacob nuts for sure. 

“I, I –” 

“Ryan.” it wasn’t even addressed to him, but Jacob felt his guts twisting with uncomfortable heat. “Ryan…” 

Jacob has no idea how Chris could sex up that prick’s name like this, but there was a lot of emotion behind it. Warm and lingering, earning like a need, that could find no release. 

“C-can I –” Ryan swallowed. “Can I…now?” 

“No.” Chris shook his head, watching Ryan’s expression crumble a bit. “You have to wait a bit longer.” 

It seemed like Ryan was about to disagree, but instead his face went back to being unreadable, as he peered back at Chris. His fingers curled around the bulge in the older man’s pants, forcing him to let out a sigh as if in praise. 

“Ryan –”

“Y-you started it first.” 

Chris snorted, caressing Ryan’s jaw, pressing one finger near the corner of his mouth. “Cheeky, are ya?” 

Ryan gave him a faint half-smile, hooking one of his legs around Mister H’s hip. “I’m twenty.” 

“I know, bud.” Chris muttered, mouth hoovering near Ryan’s, as if in a promise of a kiss. “I know.” 

Helpless to do much, but continue watching them, Jacob couldn’t prevent himself from getting a bit reflective. They really stared at one another a lot, while they were at it, he noticed. And it was pretty much the opposite of how it went down between Jacob and Emma. She would rather keep her eyes closed and then, just shrug off his advances, like it meant nothing. 

It’s just summer fun, she told him with that cute smile and light pitch of her brows, and – 

It was kind of humiliating, that the guy, who he kind of hated, certainly got a better game, than he did. Mister H took Ryan to the woods at times, where they were supposedly hiking together, but now, Jacob wondered if this, - this right here - was what they were really doing in the forest. 

Was Mister H raw doggying Ryan in the open? Right in the woods? Just a couple of miles away from the camp? 

He seemingly had no problem banging him here. So yeah, probably. 

It still barely made any sense inside his head, it was buzzing and buzzing to no end. Was he really seeing it? Them together? There must be something with his brain or…?

Ryan let out a keen. 

And this was the loudest and the most emotional noise, that he ever heard him making. 

Involuntary, Jacob backed away further into the wall, blinking rapidly. Chris’s hand was twisting Ryan’s nipple under his shirt, if he had to guess. Ryan was openly panting, as Chris pushed his big finger into his mouth, watching him grow even redder in the face. 

And yeah, okay maybe there was an appeal to it. Even Jacob had to admit, that the creepy asshole did look kind of nice like this. When he wasn’t all arrogant and gloomy, carrying that large stick up his ass. Instead, remaining pinned and manhandled. And quite, save from needy voices. 

[echo-anon]

The Start… Again

Chapter 1

Since the collection is out, time to post the works!

↸ᒷᔑℸ ̣ ⍑ ᒲᒷᔑリᓭ リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣ ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ

~~~

Grian dives into the ravine, dread brewing in his gut. He committed to retracing his steps to make things simpler, but now he realizes it was just to prolong the inevitable. He isn’t ready to face Scar yet, not after everything he did. He starts killing fish, knowing that the time is slowly ticking down.

Grian shoves the fish into a furnace, trying to keep his expression neutral. He doesn’t need them to think he’s crazy for acting weirdly. Since apparently no one else remembers that they’ve done this before.

“Hello!” Etho and Joel say, almost in sync.

“Hello,” he replies, forcing a smile as he watches them slide down the bottom of the ravine.

“Oh, fish!” Etho says as Grian returns to killing more of them. “Excellent idea, Grian.”

“Have you found your soulmate yet?” Joel asks, looking down at him.

“Not yet,” he replies, tense. It’s technically true. He hasn’t seen Scar in this timeline yet. “Whoever I’m with is desperately trying to get me killed.” Which Grian kinda deserves after what he did to Scar last time. Almost as if his thoughts summoned him, Scar surfaces just in front of him, gasping for a breath.

“Are you sure it’s not Scar?” Joel asks, laughing a little.

“Scar, have you been taking big chunks of damage?” Grian knows this doesn’t go anywhere, but he can’t help but try.

Scar gives him a look for a moment, before shrugging. Joel hits him as a test, and Grian feels a faint pain in the same area. He takes a shaky breath as he watches Scar swim after his allay, zoning out of everything else.

He zones back in as Joel swims into his view, “here, Grian, I’ll test it for you.” This punch is a bit harder than the last, “did that hurt, Grian?” At Grian’s silence, Joel takes out his axe and swings it. Grian flinches and lets out a pained shout. Joel only laughs, “are you actually linked?”

Grian doesn’t respond, only staring as Scar still chases the allay. He doesn’t know how to deal with this. He has to tell Scar, of course he does, but he has no idea how to do it. Ideally it would be alone, so once they split off from Joel and Etho, he’d do it.

He’s snapped out of his daze from Joel shoving him, who gives him a brief questioning look before speaking, “the reason he took a lot of damage, by the way, is when I hit him with my axe to annoy the person he’s paired with.”

“I nearly died!” Grian exclaims, still very irritated at that. Although, it’s not like Joel was the only one casually playing with lives. At least he didn’t kill Scar, unlike Grian did with him.

“Yeah, he said he got two hearts,” Joel replies, unaware of Grian’s inner turmoil. His focus changes to where Scar is climbing the side of the ravine, “what’s he doing?”

Much to Grian’s surprise, Scar continues climbing the mountain, not even looking back. The dread worsens, this didn’t happen last time. “I’m going after him,” Grian says, immediately swimming to the other side of the ravine to try and catch up with Scar. He ignores anything Joel or Etho say. Scar’s already up the other side of the ravine when Grian reaches the other side. He can’t help but be impressed.

By the time he makes it back up the cliff, Scar was already trying to give the allay something. “Scar, can we talk?”

To his surprise, the other flinches. There’s a brief pause before he turns around, a bright smile on his face, “hello, Grian!”

It looks fake, which makes him tense, but he still repeats, “can we talk?”

Scar turns back around, “I’m in the middle of something.”

Grian takes a deep breath, “Scar, please.”

There’s a long pause, long enough for the dread to return full force, enough for him to consider why Scar’s acting differently. When Scar goes back to following the allay Grian speaks again, “I’m sorry.”

This causes him to freeze again, turning around to fully face Grian again, “what?”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “for- for everything.” Scar stares at him in astonishment, so he continues, “I was a horrible soulmate to you. And… I want to make it up to you, I’ll do whatever I can to do so. Or-“ Grian swallow, “or you can tell me to screw off, that would be fine too. Just- just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”

Scar stares at him for a long time, taking a good while to get over his shock. When he does, the edge in his voice has lessened a smidge, “are you really sorry?”

“Very, very, much so,” Grian says, earnest.

Scar glances away, thinking, “we should stick together for safety.” He pauses, “we’ll continue this later, I need to get my allay.”

“R-right,” Grian murmurs, taking it as the dismissal it is. He turns around and returns to the ravine’s edge. He doesn’t jump down, wanting to wait for Scar still. As he waits, his communicator buzzes. He takes it out curiously, but freezes as he reads the message. Somehow he forgot that they would be dying soon.

“What is it?”

He jumps a little, turning around to see Scar, his allay beside him. “Tango died,” he answers simply.

“Ah, right.” Scar’s quiet for a moment before continuing past him, heading towards the bridge. Grian follows him, just as quiet. They dive into the water together, swimming over to Joel and Etho when they resurface.

“Did you see?” Joel asks the moment he notices them.

“Yup,” Grian replies. He grins, “we’re not the first ones out!”

“Well, of course Etho and I aren’t,” Joel replies confidently, “you two however…”

Scar gasps, mock-offended, “I bet we’ll survive longer then you!” Grian shoots him a look, trying to silently tell him to be cautious. His soulmate ignores him.

Etho raises an eyebrow, “you know?”

“Of course I do,” the pointed tone leaves just as quickly as it comes. Scar grins, although Grian can see that it’s just a facade, “what should we do next?”

[superpeanutgarden]

So, I've got a character idea floating around in my head.

I want to portray her at my local LARP, but there's an approval process. The form won't open until September or something, which is a long time to wait. I must wait. The people who run the LARP deserve time off. (I've been there, it's brutal, and I'm intellectually at peace with the break)

And on top of that, I'm not sure that she would get approved. She's a sailor, and there have been a bunch of new sailor character in the last three years. The fact that some of those characters won't be there next year might be irrelevant.

BUT

I have 3 yards of grey silk and green necklace and that is starting up some IDEAS!!!!!!

And since this is *my* blog, I'm going to write those ideas down because nobody can stop me!!!!!

I don't know her name yet, but she is the captain of the merchant ship The Audacity. It's got an all female crew!!! (I've already approached one of my friends to be a crew member!!)

She's prim, proper, no-nonsense. Like captain Amelia Smollett from Treasure Planet. I don't know if i want her to fight yet, but if she did it would be with a rapier. She expects ship-shape behavior, nothing less than the best, from her crew! (They're unique, a bit of an experiment by the King, and she feels the pressure to succeed). It's not that she can't take the stick out from her ass, she just doesn't want to give back an INCH of the ground she has gained.

In contrast to the last character I played, she is lawful good. No crimes committed here, very by-the-book. It's giving "I'm not going to break the rules, my crew will do that anyway and I have to go bail them out."

She must stand in contrast to TWO other ships, The Alacrity (merchant vessel, the goodest bois) and The Seahawk (privateering vessel, nasty bois). The Seahawk is easy!! Just don't do crimes or threaten to kill people!!! And that's it, you're not like the Seahawk!!! Yay!!! The Alacrity will be a little harder, because I gotta talk to their captain to see what their deal is!! (They were under new management this year, and I wasn't out at the event to really see how that played out) But I think if we stand as some sort of support to The Alacrity being the fastest in the biz, then that should be good enough. Their crew is kinda full of goofy dudes, which isn't a bad formula, it's just not something we need two of (hence why I'm worried she won't get approved). I'll be doing some yard work for the Captain of Alacrity this week, so I can talk to him about some ideas to compare and contrast!!

I hope that I get to bring her out!!

[pqrachel]

2024/2025 Resolutions

Okay so before I get into my new resolutions let's see how I did with 2024's.

Do Patreon for a bit.

-I failed this, but that wasn't a I forgot or lost motivation type of thing but rather it was getting in the way of my art, so I'm okay with failing this one. I am on Ko-fi now though.

Do 4 days of art every week.

-I took a couple weeks off and I missed the 4 arts once or twice as well so I didn't fully do this but ultimately this was a huge success as far as I'm concerned.

Do one of the NSFW OC Strip Games for Bluesky.

-Ultimately I just forgot. I did get to over 100 followers on there which is more than any other art platform I've been on, which is super cool. I might still do one next year???

Get an actual job.

-I managed to get lucky enough with all my side things to make it a full year away from the worst bits of capitalism and it's been incredible. My savings are starting to get a bit low tho so I'll prob need an actual job in 2025. (It's been fun while it lasted.)

Don't get majorly scammed again.

-While I did make some dumb purchases (Shout out to staying up too late and buying stuff I prob shouldn't at like 3am. /s), I didn't get actually scammed this year.

Visit friends more.

-Oh you poor thing. In 2024 both of my local friends moved pretty far away and I've been left kind of alone, at least irl. Online I've been trying a bit harder but it's really not easy for me.

Get better at Trackmania.

-This one's arguable. I'm probably a little bit better overall, but I really wanted more. I don't mind that I focused on other games personally, but at least for this resolution I failed.

Beat Terraria Expert Mode

-Success

----------

Now for my 2025 Resolutions:

Definitely starting with the 4 days of art every week again. I might not hit it every week, but just having this as a visible easily trackable goal is really gonna keep me motivated.

I'm doing a Word of the Day thing on my Bluesky alt, that should be fun. First post in a couple hours!!

Release 2 more full comics. Not counting the 2 I've mostly finished and will be starting the year with. I don't know what these will be yet but comics have been fun to do. And if I find a decent flow for making comics I'll be so happy.

I want to read more. I finished 2024 reading a couple of books and I've kinda been getting back into it, so I'm gonna give myself a pretty easy goal of reading 5 books. I'll be nice to my future self and say I don't have to finish them but I do have to give them an honest chance. My Goodreads I guess.

I'll one up last year's Terraria goal and try to commit to beating Terraria Master mode this year. (I've technically already started this but I'm nowhere near done.)

And Rivals 2 has been fun. Right now I'm stuck around silver 800-850 rank, I've peaked at gold 911, but I think if I really tried I could maybe get plat. But that seems like it could get grindy and unfun quick, so let's say gold 1000 rank. Not quite plat but let's go for mid-gold at least.

Let's finish off with a weirder one, how about doing a cosplay of some kind. (Halloween doesn't count.) Jinx is probably first on my list especially her S2E9 fit, but I might get inspired by something else in 2025.

EDIT: I'm gonna add one more. Release at least one game / game update. I may not have motivation for it right now but I don't want it to die out completely. So whether it's a game jam game, a major update for Rach Quest, or something entirely new, as long I do some game dev project this year, that'll be good.

EDIT2: Fucking finish Outer Wilds dude. It was really good, why'd you stop playing??

[pretentiousliterata]

A Letter From Me to You

~I've lost a fragment of my soul...~

I know it's not the end of the month. I know I came rambling a few weeks ago but here I am again... since I'm not sure if this particular newsletter will trigger anyone, let me tell you beforehand it'll talk about the passing of a loved one and depressive thoughts overall.

Normally I don't share personal stuff through social media. Not even in my personals. I enjoy doing things without showcasing it to the world because I found joy in the "living the moment" kinda thing, but this is a new situation and probably more than sharing, is finding an answer on when does it get better.

Before September ended, I had given myself the mission to post the newsletter to keep the commitment. I wasn't in the mood because I had a hectic weekend. My mum was really sick, the kind of sickness which keeps you awake at night in order to help if anything happens. I knew this was something different, I should have gone with my gut but I didn't push enough. However, what happened cannot be changed, no matter how much I think about it.

October 3rd, a day everyone knows well either because of Mean Girls or FMA, will be also the day I suffered the loss of my life: my beloved mum, the woman who did not give me birth but took me as her daughter for all my existence, passed away after battling against her body. It was a short battle, a painful one sadly.

Given that my mum was 96 (I feel the need to explain quickly the situation to avoid confusion: my mum= my granny. Again, the woman took care of me since I was a baby, so normally I think of her as my mother), the idea she was going to leave eventually was already in my head. For years, I told myself I was going to be ready because I was happy to have celebrated her life and the years we spent. But now that this happened, I realize I was never ready. I don't think anyone is ready to suffer such loss.

I've been in a state of numbness well known before, but also, very different. Days with lots of tiredness, days when I can't sleep normally, days in which I'm sick to the bone. It's been so short time but as time progresses, the sense of loss it's getting deeper in my bones and the harder it gets, the more emotions come and they left me wondering of all the what ifs.

One thing's for sure: I wish I could have said more. One of the things I hate the most of me is I don't use spoken words in the hardest moments. I remain silent while my heart aches to act recklessly and say everything it wants to. That's why I feel more comfortable writing long verses or, well, long letters. And while I'm thankful to a certain extent she didn't die alone, as I was the one who saw her in her final hour, I wish I had hugged her in her hospital bed regardless of the safety code you're supposed to have in ICU areas (yours truly is a healthcare worker and is afraid of messing with stuff). All of my regrets are really pushing hard and while I know it will take a while, the question lingers: when does it get better?

I guess in time I'll know.

For now, I want to honor her memory by dedicating her my debut novel. She knew about it and saw a lot of the process, she was happy when I told her I had finished a full draft and got surprised to see how big it was when I printed the first draft. The problem is I'm struggling with writing, because my heart's in it but my mind is not.

I've been trying to come back to things that make me happy but I can't find them for now. They help, but they can't fill the void inside my chest. And it's painful to feel like this.

So, that's pretty much what I have to share. I wish I could say something better but October is certainly the month in which anything can happen. It was already both a happy and sad month: happy because I celebrate my debut as a published author, but sad because it is also the month of my sister's passing, and now, my mum's.

So for now, I guess all I can ask is wish me luck. I do need it.

Until next time, folks. And hopefully with bright things to share.

I'm sorry this newsletter wasn't as cheerful as the previous ones.

[candy8448]

GCSEs FIRST DAY

Im gonna make a gcses rambles masterlist of all the gcses rambles maybe

I need an outlet

Anyways FIRST DAY OVER!

RS and Drama!

-----

I dont think it has actually sunk in that these are the real things and not mocks. Im so glad that my school does mocks every year because i am feeling weirdly calm about this

I feel like it will finally settle in once we finish everything then im gonna be like oh no that was real??

Our school surprisingly did something nice for us??? A tonna free bagles we could put butter, jam or honey on, and then a bunch of types of energy bars and juices (and i think coffe?? Idk) and whoa :0 i bet that is only gonna last today cuz this school isnt capable of commiting to something when it actually makes their students happy

Rs was exhausting. I did the questions all over the place answering them weirdly and wherever and :0 and i was so stressed about time because this is the only exam that i ever run out of time on but eventually i manged to get it done 2 mins before the end.

That first christianity 12 marker was a godsent (haha lol) it was so open that i could have rambled on forever, both of them really. The islam was harder but really better than i thought :0 (so many people was panicking thinking they got ashura wrong, including me a bit, so that was kinda funny)

I despise rs with a passion for personal reason so im so glad it is one of the subjects that finish first ^_^

I need to rant about the drama for a bit so hang on till i go eat-

SO

Our school goes period 1, p2, break, p3, p4, lunch, p5 (and p6 after school on some days for only yr 11s)

Usually exams are either p1 and 2 or p3 and 3, but we have p3 and 4 being drama lessons, then right before lunch, we started the exam, then it went on for 15mins after school and like???

What??? What is this timing why did they think of doing this????

Its like the final boss battle of drama gcses lol

(They gave us a breaktime before it at least, but we couldnt get food. It was weird seeing the hall completely empty with only us 14 students doing drama)

In the exam hall only 7 of us were in there cuz the rest go to a different room and i really love the quiet of when there are only a tiny vit of us in the hall. When all of us are in there its much louder cuz of everyone's shuffling hut with only us 7, it basically completely and utterly silent, its nice, i can think.

For our mocks we've answered on lined sheets of paper, but this time they had such a wacky answer booklet??? It threw all of us off which is so unfair. Also nobody ever informs the drama department in my school of anything so we were really confused for a lot of the time =_=

Why does it look like this??? No other subject looks like this???

But anyway the questions were really good, the time management was more stressful than yhe actual questions

(For ppl who wanted to know, we did blood brothers, then for section c we did macbeth since we are already doing it in english and we were running out of time to learn what to do for section c)