#I also find the idea of Link showing up the next day after saying “bye see you in 2 weeks” really funny

[veggiecorner]

Food for thought but what if the house in Hateno was just Zeldas at first? Link wanted to give Zelda a place to stay where she can rest without being reminded of her duty every 5 seconds (which was why staying in Kakariko didn't work) and he knew he's not the type to sit around and rest. He does want to stay by Zelda's side however, but also felt awkward about living with her. So he does this thing where he just checks in with her every few weeks/months but travels around doing tasks for the people. Whenever Zelda wants to travel he's immediately by her side, but once she's back in Hateno he's just "...okay see you later......" and leaves. Zelda wants to tell him to stay a bit longer, but is too uncertain to break that boundary between them. Also she doesn't really want him to feel like he has to stay by her side. She wants him to have his freedom.

But suddenly him being gone for 2 months becomes 6 weeks...then it becomes 1 month...then 2 weeks....then a week...and one day he walks up to Zelda and just says "...can I stay over for the night?"

And so the house in Hateno starts to feel a little less lonely from then on.

[zunniva]

Heartbroken Love pt. 3

I'm totally new to tumblr and I can't for the life of me figure out how to link to the other 2 parts... Sorry :)

Heartbreak and Love

In this part I freely imagine the aftermath of Vecna's rampage. It's also he part where Emma and Steve really find each other, eventually. All is good in the end though!

The darkness... it's taken over. Dad tells me I graduated, I have no memories of this. I apparently went up on that stage, got my diploma, refused to leave until principal Higgins gave me Eddies diploma too. I have a faint memory of the Hellfire club standing up cheering, alongside Steve and the gang. All cheering and screaming Eddies name. People booing, Steve throwing something at them. But this is just like a memory of a dream... you're not quite sure it's real. Dad says it is, he was standing up cheering for Eddie as well.

It's been 3 months now, 3 agonizing months without him. The trailer park was demolished in the “earthquake” so Wayne had to leave. He came by to say good bye, and he left me Eddies guitar. Told me that if I ever found myself in whatever part of the country he ended up in I needed to look him up. I think I promised him that. I sleep with the guitar in my bed, or sleep. I stay in some kind of dormancy, not asleep not awake. Just... shut off. Then dad comes and makes me get out of bed, every morning without fail. He makes sure I take a shower and then I just sit there in my chair, holding the guitar looking out the window.

The town is slowly coming back from the disaster that was “the earthquake” dad tells me. They're rebuilding and fixing what they're able to. I don't care... What's to care about? A town that celebrated the dead like heroes of war but ignored one of the only real heroes it had? Not one mention about him in the eulogies, even AFTER they came out and said he was falsely accused of the murder of Chrissy. Not even then was he mentioned as anything but “that freak Munson boy” I understand why Wayne felt he needed to leave.

Dad's been asking me if we should leave too, maybe head back to Sweden so I can apply for university next semester. I cry silent tears when he says this, so he doesn't push. The therapist that comes here once a week told him not to push. Just give me time, I'll come out of this eventually, it'll be easy once I get over the initial pain. Fucking moron, I hope someone he loves dies and he can come tell me how easy it is to “come out of it”. I feel angry, all the time. Then sad, and I cry. I don't know where the tears come from, you'd think I would have run out by now. But that's my life now, anger, tears and pain. But no actions, I don't have it in me to DO anything but stare into nothingness and...exist.

I miss him so much, sometimes I just wish I had it in me to... you know join him. But I can't do that to dad. He loved Eddie too, I know this but I have no energy to be there for him and that also makes me miserable.

The guys have been around to visit. In the beginning almost every day. Now school's started again and Nancy, Steve and Robin have all got new jobs. So I'm alone all day. Dad got a promotion following the death of Jason, his dad had a mental breakdown and couldn't keep working. The board asked dad to step in and manage the whole company. I'm sure I'm proud somewhere inside, I might even be able to show it some day.

I have absolutely no idea what happened to them in the Upside down, after finding Dustin in that parking lot I've lost track of everything. Steve is the one that comes over the most, he sits beside me holding my hand. Not speaking, I can't take in what people tell me any ways. He just sits there. It feels good having him there, comforting.

Another month passes, I think it's getting a bit easier to exist. Not a lot but I manage to remember things dad tells me for more than 10 minutes. I get out of bed on my own, I've even been down stairs a few times. I can tell dad is tentatively hopeful, maybe I am to. But at the same time I'm terrified. What if I get better and I forget him? What if everyone moves on and he's just passed in to oblivion? When these thoughts hit I panic. The only thing calming me down is to sit in bed strumming Eddie's guitar humming to myself. That's also the only use of my voice since that day I graduated. I haven't spoken, not one word. I nod and I shake my head.

On this particular day the intrusive thoughts are really bad and I decide to do something I haven't done in 4 months. I pick up the phone after making sure it's a Saturday and not a weekday.

“Hello?”

“Please come over...” my voice is low and sounds more like a croak from a frog than an actual person

“Emma?”

“Please... I need you”

“I'll be right there”

10 minutes later I hear the door bell. My dad opens the door

“Oh hey Steve, good to see you. I don't know if she's up yet”

“She is... Martin she called me... she actually spoke” I hear the happiness in Steve's voice.

“Are you sure? You're not joking are you?” I hear from the tone on dads voice that he doesn't quite trust Steve

“I thought for a moment myself that I was dreaming, but then I pinched myself and I was awake. She called Martin...and she called ME!” I have no clue what he meant by that

I hear his footsteps in the hallway then a soft knock on the door. It opens and his smiling face looks at me

“Hey” he looks at me

“Hey” I croak and he starts sobbing

“Oh god I missed your voice Em, so much you have no idea” he comes up to me taking my hand “you mind if I give you a hug?”

“Nah, that's why I wanted you here... I need one” I whisper

He wraps me in his arms and he hugs me tight.

“I missed you” he says in to the crease of my neck

“I understand that, can't promise I'm gonna be here all the time but I'm getting closer...maybe” I say and I wrap my arms around him as well. If feels so good having someone close. I forgot how good it feels. We part from the hug “Hey, Steve. Maybe weird to ask after this long. But would you mind laying down on the bed with me. This position isn't comfortable and I can't stand up for that long” I look up at him

“I'd let you lie on top of me on the floor if it made you more comfortable Em. Not weird at all, c'mon lets get you in to bed” he smiles and takes my hand.

We lay down on the bed and he wraps his arms around me and I put my head on his chest so I can hear his heart beating. His hands slowly rubbing my arms up and down. I begin to cry softly into his shirt. He coos at me

“There, there you cry. Can't promise it'll make you better right away but maybe in a while. And I'm here for you all the way” he keeps stroking my arms and kissing my head. I can feel how excruciatingly tired I really am. I yawn “You take a nap I'll be right here” he says. I wiggle a little to get more comfortable and I put one arm around him. Then I sleep, like I haven't slept in months. I wake up thinking I just had a short nap, someone's put a blanket over us. Steve has slumped down on the bed so he's lying face to face with me still holding me. He's sleeping to, how long was I out I think. I try to move and Steve's eyes fly open.

“Hey...did I wake you?” he says looking worried

“No I think I woke you up, how long have I been sleeping?”

He looks at his watch “Well... should I lie to you or tell you the truth?” he smiles

“What? Truth...always truth” I say

“23 hours and 45 minutes...” he looks at me

“Excuse me? But... what about you? Have you been here the whole time?” He can't be serious

“You needed me, so I stayed. Of course I stayed” he says stroking my back

“For almost a whole 24 hours? But what about food... toilet...”

“Your dad's been in with food and for the short time it takes me to pee I left you. Hope you don't mind, you didn't even stir when I crawled back down beside you” he kisses my forehead

“Mind... Steve, this is beyond what I can ask of you. Don't put your life on hold for me...” I can't believe this

“Sweetheart, there are two people in this world right now that everyone's lives are on hold for. Yours and Max's. Ok? We all care” he says “maybe some more than others” he finishes with a whisper

“Max? What's wrong with Max?” I feel like I should know but there are no memories only fog

Steve looks at the time “Would you be up for a little trip outside today?” he asks

“Outside?” I think about it “well ok but you need to help me, I have no real strength left to walk”

“No problem!”

“And I need to get some clothes that aren't pyjama” I say tugging at my shirt. I smile, just a little smile but it's the first one in 4 months. Steve looks at me and tears fall down his face

“A smile? Oh God I missed your smile” and then he does something I didn't expect he leans in and he kisses me, just a quick kiss but I can feel it all over. “Oh I'm sorry... I couldn't help myself” he looks so ashamed like he violated me

“It's ok Steve I didn't mind. Made me feel almost like a person again” I say and I take his hand

“You sure?” he looks at me all apologetic

“100% now help me find clothes” I say as I manage to sit up in the bed. Ok so sleeping for almost 24 hours straight feel something like being drunk. The room spins when you sit up, and DAMN I need to pee. I try to get up but the rooms spins even more and I almost fall over.

“What are you doing, sit down please. I don't want you to hurt yourself” he says

“I really, and I can't stress this enough, fucking need to pee” I manage a small giggle and he lights up

“Wow even a giggle, this is a good day. Ok hold on to me and I'll help you to the bathroom”

We manage to get to the bathroom in time and he waits outside the door until I'm done. Then he follows me to the bed again and sits me down.

“Ok so clothes, any ideas?” he says

“Well...” I look down at my body even I can see I lost more weight following Eddie's death “whatever stills fits... So I'm guessing a dress is the best option” I shrug

“Ok, dress it is” he walks up to my closet looking through it. He turns to me and he has a big smile on his face “well I am partial to this one” he says and pulls out the dark green dress I've only worn once and that was when we had our thing at the lake. I blush

“I think that'll be a bit big but I can try it on at least” I say and he hands me the dress “would you please turn around” I say

“Of course” he does so right away. In my mind I go back to that night I last wore this dress, the conversation with Eddie when he was so hellbent on hearing what me and Steve had done he wasn't going to close his eyes while I changed. Tears trickle down the dress as I take off the clothes I have on and pull it over my head. It's big but not as awful as I thought it would be “Ok you can turn around now” I say. He turns and looks at me

“Beautiful, just like last time... But what's wrong?” he wipes the tears from my face

“Last time anyone saw me in this was after you and I... It was Eddie” I say

“Oh... I'm so sorry I had no idea... I just thought about the you and me part” he looks sad and he wraps me in his arms “You wanna change?”

“No, it looks ok and it's comfortable. I'll wear it as an homage” I say “where are we going by the way?”

“You'll see” he says and takes my hand, helping me down the stairs. We go in to the kitchen. Dad looks up

“Honey...you're...” tears start falling down his face

“Hey dad” I say and I hug him and he hugs me back so tight.

“Thank you” he says and I know he's looking at Steve when he says it

“Ehm... I'm taking Emma to the hospital to you know... see her” Steve says

“Her?” I'm confused

“Yeah sweetie, after you... collapsed with Dustin, well a lot more happened. You said you heard someone talking about Jason...and the kid found with him” dad says and I nod “Yeah that was Max...she's still in a coma”

“Max? In a coma? What...” I look at Steve

“We don't really know but I'll tell you what little we do know on the ride there if you still wanna come?” he says

“Yeah, of course I wanna come” I say and I mean it. For the first time in what feels like forever I care about someone, about something. I want to see Max.

“Great I'll bring the car up as far as I can” Steve says and heads out the door

“I'm so happy your feeling a little better today sweetheart. But don't stay out too long, you don't have all your energy you know.” dad looks at me with a hopeful smile

“I know, but I've been in that room for 4 months now. And I know there will be dark days ahead where I won't leave so for today I'm going to see my friends” I say

“Good for you honey, I'm all for it. Steve will take good care of you I know that. Send my love to whoever you see today.” dad kisses my forehead and squeezes my hand. Steve comes in and holds his hand out to me

“Your chariot awaits princess” he smiles and I can't help but smile back and I hear dad sob

“Yes, I do still remember how to smile. I'll try to do it from time to time” I say to him as I take Steve's hand and we head out to the car. At first the outside is an assault to my senses. Smells, sounds and the chill in the air. It's almost knocking me out. As Steve shuts the car door it all gets better. He gets in the drivers seat and he looks at me

“You ok?”

“Yeah, just a lot there after 4 months isolated in one room.” I say

“Oh, sorry didn't think about that. Then maybe I should take the tape out of the stereo” he smiles “don't wanna give you a heart attack”

“A heart attack? With what... Wham?” Steve was more of a mainstream kinda guy

“Well... I kinda changed it up a bit... Got some gifts from Wayne” he mumbles

“What? Wayne... did you... did you get Eddies tapes?” I ask “You? Who hate rock just as much as Eddie hated pop?” I almost laugh out loud at this

“I asked for them... I wanted something so I'd never forget him” he says in a hushed voice

“So you'd never...” my voice fails me and tears start falling again “but I thought you didn't” I manage to get out

“What? Like him...nah not at first. Guy kinda grew on you fast, didn't he” he smiles but I can see he's tearing up to

“He sure did... So you have the tapes... Can you bring them over some time? I want to copy them” I sob

“Of course I can, any time. Shall we go? Or do you want to stay home?”

“Go, this was just a temporary interruption. Feels sort of okish to mention him... not gonna say good. Don't think I'll ever get to good” I say

“Ok go it is” he says and starts the car making sure the tape isn't in.

We talk on the way to the hospital, about his new job. They offered him the basketball coaching position at the high school and he accepted, gladly he tells me. I tell him I'm happy for him, I am even though it might not show on the outside. He tells me what little they know about what happened to Max. Lucas was with her and Jason as Vecna assaulted her mind almost killing her like he did the others. But he was interrupted and Max ended up in a coma instead. Jason was killed in the rupture, he was torn in half apparently. I can't process this fully. So I go back to telling Steve I am happy for him, needing time to get the Max thing in my mind.

“I know you are sweetheart” he says and takes my hand holding it the entire car ride, he's slowly rubbing his thumb along the top of my hand. It's comforting, having someone touch me. We get to the hospital

“I have no idea how many of the guys are here today, but it's the weekend so there might be a few of them. Would that be ok?” he asks

“Yeah, I think it would. You visit her often?” I say

“When I'm not with you I come here for an hour or so. I tell her what's new, don't know if she can hear me but I hope so” he says

“I'm sure some of it comes through to her.” I say, squeezing Steve's hand. I'm thinking back to my past few months, I was awake but not reachable. I have some clue what the mind takes in even if you're not all there for it.

We go in to the hospital and we head up to the ward where Max is. Steve goes in in front of me, I hear some familiar voices. I sneak in after him and the silence is deafening

“Em? You're... you're here? Steve you got her to come out?” Dustin is smiling widely at me running up to hug me.

“Yeah...he helped” I say and they draw a collective breath and Nancy starts crying

“God I missed your voice Em” she comes up and wraps her arms around both me and Dustin. Not caring she crushes him between us “how are you feeling?” she asks as she lets go

“I...don't know. Today kinda ok. Yesterday was bad, tomorrow might be bad again. I think this is a one day at a time deal. But I...” I look over to the bed and my heart drops. A pale shadow of the beautiful girl I knew is laying there. She looks like she's sleeping, nothing more “never mind me, some day I'll be ok. But what about Max? Maybe you told me maybe you didn't but my mind didn't register until Steve told me today” I say and I go up to the bed. I sit down in the chair Nancy was sitting on and I lean over and I begin stroking Max's hair. “Hey Max, it's Em. Sorry it took me so long to come see you...I've been struggling. I guess they told you huh? So you know what...happened to Eddie. I kinda need you to wake up, take your time but just you know...wake up” I whisper. Lucas is sitting across from me holding Max's hand tears falling from his face

“Thank you for talking to her like she's here” he says “the doctors don't... We seem to be the only ones thinking she's coming back from this”

“What? You and me?” I look around

“No we, as in everyone in here” he says with a sad smile “Eleven's been trying to find her... But she says it's like she's hiding. She isn't sure it's safe”

I keep stroking her hair looking at her “So is it? Safe I mean...”

“We did finish him, after Eddie...and Max we got our revenge. Eleven found her powers... maxed them out even and popped his head like a zit... unfortunately we had to use Will as bait, turned out it was him he wanted all along. He's ok just...you know traumatized” Steve says from the corner

“So Vecna is no more? What about the upside down? Is it gone?” I ask dreading the answer

“We have no idea” Nancy says

I look up and I meet Dustin's eyes, I see he's thinking what I'm thinking. I need to find an opportunity to talk to him alone. If there is a chance... I'll risk everything. We stay with Max and the guys for about an hour or so, then I feel my head is about to explode from too many impressions and too many sounds after months of basically only silence. I look at Steve with pleading eyes

“Oh, I think I need to get Emma home, you're beat aren't you?” he says and smiles at me

“Yeah... I'm sorry guys but I am. I'll try to some back the next good day I have, ok?” making no promises because I have no idea what the next day will be like. They all nod and tell me to feel better and that they'll come visit. Steve and I head to the car and he pulls me in close and kisses my head

“You did good today sweetie, but I'll take you home now and get you in to bed ok?”

“Thank you Steve, this was...healthy. Made me get some perspective on my situation seeing Max like that” I say

“Hey, don't belittle your struggle. No one is thinking you're not having a hard time. We've all seen you through the months. Dustin told me about that day, he said the scream coming from you was the single most heartbreaking sound he'd ever heard. Even worse than...his last breath” he looks at me

“You never told me this before...” I say with a hushed voice

“I didn't think you were...susceptible to that kind of information before. I'm sorry”

“No don't be, and you're probably right. I remember some things people told me. Like Wayne telling me I need to look him up at some point, you heard anything from him?” I ask

“Yeah, he called like 2 months ago, he's in Nebraska working at a power plant. He sent me his address, I'll give it to you.” he smiles and hugs me again “ok lets go home now” we drive off and I keep looking out the window, letting my mind wander to what was hatched in my mind at the hospital. We come home to an empty house, a note from dad on the counter.

“Hey honey, they needed me at the office. I might be late. I made dinner, it's in the fridge. Enough for both you and Steve. Love you -Dad”

“Will you stay, please?” I ask Steve

“Of course I'll stay. If you need me I'm here I've told you many times during these months, maybe it hasn't registered but I have. I might not be him, and I will never try to take his place. But I want to be here for you, just like he would have” he looks at me and I wrap my arms around him taking in his smell and his warmth

“Thank you Steve” I can feel the tingle is still there, just like a lonely butterfly at the moment. But he's still Steve, the handsome, sexy, strong guy that not that long ago was naked in my arms writhing beneath me. I blush

“Hey what's this? What's on that mind of yours?” he smiles

“I just had a flashback... From the cabin” I whisper

“Oh...yeah, that. That was a good night wasn't it” he's rubbing my back and I feel so safe for the first time in what feels like forever

“It was... I wish we could have had another chance, another go at it” I keep whispering like I don't want to risk anyone hearing even though we're completely alone in the house.

“You and me both sweetie” he kisses the top of my head, I look up at him. My eyes lock on his lips I can feel his heart beating faster and I hear his breath shiver as he looks down at me. “I don't want to take advantage of you” he says in a coarse voice

“I'm not asking you to fuck me against the counter... That's too soon, but I wouldn't mind a kiss...” I blush. His hands move to the side of my face and he leans down and kisses me softly. My knees feel weak and I sigh against his lips

“I'm sorry but this is all I'm able to give you right now” he whispers and I nod

“All I needed right now, would you stay the night though. Not for this...for sleep?” I say in to his chest

“Any time you need me. But what about we heat up that food your dad left us and then we make ourselves comfy on the couch and we watcha movie or something. Or just talk?”

We eat, then I feel how very tired this day has made me so we opt for my bed instead of the couch. We crawl down under the covers and I once again lay there, head on Steve's chest listening to his heartbeat, feeling safe.

“So what have the doctors said about Max really?” I ask

“Well, she might wake up. They don't know. She responds to what they call stimuli, I guess that means she's still in there. So that apparently gives hope. But it might just go the other way to, if she stops responding then her brain has shut down and then they can't do anything more for her. We're all hoping Eleven's gonna find her and get her to come out of hiding”

“Can you explain that to me? I don't get...that part” I say. I remember when I met them all in Eddie's trailer the last time I saw him. They told me Eleven was like some superhero girl with awesome powers. I didn't fully understand then and I understand even less now

“Eleven is... special you know that right, he told you didn't he?” I nod “Ok, well so she can go in to I guess some kind of in-between and find people's minds. Like find them where ever they are, she found Will when he was lost in the Upside down 4 years ago. But when she tries to find Max now...it's just darkness. She can feel her but not see her. That's why she says it's like she's hiding herself. She tries for like 10 minutes every day. But then she needs to rest. It apparently takes a lot out of her finding people like that. She won't give up, she's been at her side every day for 4 months now and she'll be there every day until she either finds her or we lose her.” Steve explains, my mind is working frantically. Steve looks at me “No she wouldn't look for him, we asked. She didn't want to see it. Apparently when she looks for people that passed she only finds their dead bodies and that is too much for her. She would find him like he is at that moment, and God knows what she would find. We didn't want to ask her again, please respect that” he says, like he read my mind

“I'm sorry... I just...” I start to cry

“I get it sweetheart, I get it. We all wanted to but we had to respect her, Dustin was pestering her a bit at the beginning. But Mike had a conversation with him and he backed off.”

“Do you ever think about trying to get back there and retrieve his body? Give him the funeral he deserves?” I sob

“We did have a funeral sweetheart, don't you remember? It was beautiful”

“We did? I was there?” I have NO recollection of this

“Yes, you held my hand so tight I thought it might fall off. I had to hold you when they lowered the coffin in to the ground. I was afraid you'd fall in with it” he hugs me tight

“I... I can't remember” I cry even harder now

“Sweetie, no one can blame you. It was just weeks after. You we're barely responsive at all back then. Me and Martin carried you in to the service and we carried you out again. We just thought you needed to be there even if we weren't sure you were there with us mentally”

“So he has a grave? I can go see him?” I say between sobs

“Yes he does, I'll take you there as soon as you have a stronger day again. Ok, just let me know when you feel you have the energy to deal with it and I'll take you there” he says softly

“Thank you, but what about... what was in the coffin?” I don't wan to think about it but my mind can't let it go

“Photos of him, his leather jacket and his Hellfire shirt. And we all wrote him a letter and dropped it in there to” he says and I hear he's tearing up

“I'm sorry Steve I didn't want to drag you down with me” I sob

“Sweetheart, I liked him too you know. We became good friends before the end. I miss him a lot, he was a good guy. And apparently a really good confidant to you...”

“What do you mean?” I sniffle

“Well... when we were out to get supplies we stole this RV from the trailer park”

“That was YOU driving that thing through town!” I say

“You saw us?” he chuckles a little “well anyway as he was hot-wiring it Robin said something a long the lines of her not loving the idea of him driving. He looked at her and he said, and I quote 'Oh I'm just starting the sucker, Harrington's got her, don't ya big-boy' no one but you have ever called me that” he winks at me and I do have to blush

“Yeah... he was a nosy one. Needed all the dirt” I say smiling at the memory of Eddie sitting on this bed bouncing waiting for me to tell him how my night with Steve had been. “I'm sorry I told him that part” I say smiling up at him

“Hey, I loved it when you called me that. I didn't mind if he knew. We talked about you, him and me. I think that's where we really bonded” he says and he kisses the top of my head.

I'm so tired I'm feeling dizzy, I lay my head down on Steve's chest again and I fall asleep.

I dream that night. But it's a weird dream. I dream of Eddies funeral, I dream of the songs they played, who was there, what was said. I dream about people waiting outside to call him a freak and a murderer. I wake up while it's still dark outside. I have to ask Steve about some of these details, maybe I just relived something my mind couldn't handle at the time it really happened. I look up at Steve, he's sound asleep arms still around me. He's growing on me... I think to myself, I don't want him to. But I can't help it I am falling for him, or well I fell a long time ago. Eddie knew it, I was just in denial. “Damn you Munson” I mutter under my breath, always knowing me better than I knew myself. I lay back down and I actually fall back to sleep hugging Steve.

I'm woken up by dads voice in the morning. I stretch and I feel that the bed is empty and I feel that surge of panic in the pit of my stomach. I look at dad

“He had to go to work honey. It's Monday you know. He promised to be back tonight if you wanted him to. You want something to eat?” he smiles at me

“I... can I think about it? I don't feel hungry right now. I need the bathroom and then I'll come down stairs” I say and he nods

“Of course honey, you come down when you feel like it. I'm working from home today since I had to be there all night on a Sunday” he walks out and I hear him head down the stairs. I sit up on the edge of the bed, it's so painful being alone again. I didn't think I'd ever cherish someone's presence like this after Eddie. But I need Steve, I need him to be here with me. I try to get out of bed but my legs don't want to cooperate today...

“DAD!” I cry out and I hear him come running

“What honey? Something wrong?” he looks worried

“My legs won't hold today... I think yesterday was too much too soon.” I cry feeling so bad he has to help me again. But he just helps me up, letting me lean on him in to the bathroom.

“Ok sweetheart, call for me when you're done and I'll help you dress ok?” he says

“I think I wanna stay in bed again dad” my tears falling again

“Whatever you need honey, I'm just happy to have you talk to me again. Anything else is just a bonus.” he closes the door and I do what I needed to come in here for then I call for him to help me back to bed.

“Dad, could you please close the blinds. I can't with the sun today” I whisper

“Sure honey, you rest. I'll be up with something to eat in a bit.” he kisses my forehead and leaves

The rest of the day is darkness again, relentless darkness threatening to take over. My mind can't deal so it shut me off. I hear dad, but for some reason my voice gets caught in my throat and I can once again only nod or shake my head. It seems apparent I need Steve around.

“Ok, sweetheart. I won't bother you more today. I see yesterday really did wear you out. You'll be better tomorrow you'll see. You want me to tell Steve to come over when he calls?” he asks and I nod, I manage to whisper a thank you to him. I have no idea if I've slept or not. I think I was back in my shut-off mode again. But the day turns to evening and suddenly I feel someone getting in to the bed beside me holding me close

“Hey there, bad day today huh? I'm sorry I made you go yesterday, didn't think it would effect you this bad” Steve's back. I sigh

“Thank you for coming back” I whisper

“Sweetie, I told you. I'll be here as often as you need me to. Well ok I need to work but other than that. If you want me to move in here with you until you feel ok on your own I'll do that” he's stroking my back hugging me tight

“You'd do that?” I ask

“Yeah me and Martin talked about that now before I came up here. Martin thinks my presence calms you. You've slept with me here, you didn't before. It was him asking me if I would do it if you wanted me to.”

I think about if, having Steve here all the time when he's not working. Did I want that? The honest truth was I couldn't think of a single reason that I didn't want that.

“Steve” I look up at him “would you please be here all the time? Until I feel better?” I say

“Of course I will. I'll go get some stuff at home tomorrow after work and then I'm all yours for as long as you need me” he smiles “But what is this I hear about you not eating anything all day? Could you please come down stairs and have dinner with us. You can't recover if you don't have any energy sweetheart” his voice is soft but stern at the same time

“Ok, but you'll have to help me. My legs won't hold me today” I say

“I'll carry you if I have to you know that” he smiles

“No need to strain your back there old man I can walk if I have someone to lean on”

“Oh old man huh? So there's that tease I've missed so much. I'll show you how much of an old man I am” he says and he lifts me up and puts me over his shoulder like I'm just a fucking towel he draped over himself. He carries me like this all the way to the kitchen, making me actually laugh for the first time in months. He puts me down at the kitchen table and tells me to sit. Dad looks at me

“That was the best sound I've heard in months now honey. Thank you Steve”

“No problem Martin, this one here called me an old man...needed to show her how young and spry I still am” he chuckles

“Oh God, if he's an old man sweetie what the hell does that make me?” dad laughs and I can't not laugh with him.

“Hey dad” I say as the laughter dies down “Steve's gonna be here for a while...like all the time”

“Yeah? Ok that's good honey I can tell you need him. I know you try with me but I can't fill that spot like Steve can.” he takes my hand “so dinner? I made a carbonara like your mum used to make it”

“Oh, mums carbonara” I say and I can feel that I am actually hungry “sounds amazing dad”

We have dinner, Steve tells us about the team and how he's seen lamp posts that are more coordinated than some of these kids. Dad is very amused

“Don't be mean to the uncoordinated, we do the best we can” he chuckles

“The only descent kid I have is Lucas, and he's not even fully there. He's in his own mind most of the time. Mike tried out, did I tell you?” he asks and we both shake our heads “Yeah that was probably the saddest attempt at basketball I have ever witnessed. He's doesn't have two left feet...hell if I didn't see 'em I'd sworn he has NO feet. Disaster from beginning to end” he says and dad roars with laughter

“Poor Mike” I say but I can't help but giggle

When dinner is over Steve helps me in to the living room. He turns on the TV for me as he goes back to help dad clean up. The news is on

“We're live from the sleepy town of Hawkins, Indiana. Where only a few months ago disaster struck. An earthquake demolished this small town, leaving it almost entirely in ruins. But now 4 months down the road the town is back. Rebuilt and coming back from the horrors leading up to disaster. The weeks before the earthquake this small town was shaken to it's core as three high school students were brutally murdered. Chrissy Cunningham, Fred Benson and Patrick McKinney all slaughtered viciously by an unknown attacker. At first thought to be the work of a fellow student Edward Munson” and the they showed his picture, plastered all over the TV. I can't hear anything else I just whimper when I'm face to face with him. Even if it's just his picture. I feel like I'm falling, falling into an abyss of darkness. I hear dad and Steve, like they're miles away but still close

“What happened sweetheart? Hey honey? Emma?” I feel him shake me, but it doesn't feel real somehow

“Fuck... Martin look at the TV”

“Oh no... I knew they were shooting some kind of special they called me and asked me if I would say a few words about Eddie. I told them to fuck off”

“Here let me take her upstairs” I feel I'm being lifted off the couch and carried to my bed. Then nothing else, just darkness again.

I come to, the veils in my mind lift as suddenly as they fell. I feel better, more awake. This is when I realize Steve's arms around me. He's spooning me close and I can feel he's been dreaming. The pit of my stomach does a flip. Even in the state I'm in my body has a mind of it's own. I want him, I really do. I move a little, I just want to feel it against me. I hear from his breathing Steve's waking up. He presses his hard-on against my ass, his hands grip my tits. My breathing is getting heavier. Fuck I want this, I want him THAT close to me. I start grinding my ass against his dick feeling it getting even harder. Steve moans then I hear a gasp, he moves away from me

“Sorry... I need to...ehmmm... pee” he says and gets up and goes in to the bathroom. He's gone about 5 minutes. That pit in my stomach...yeah it falls out through my feet, down through the floor and doesn't stop until it fucking hits dirt under the house. So ok, I've become undesirable to him now? That's just great, I fall for him and he loses interest. Just like I thought it would be, “didn't I fucking tell you Munson?” I mutter out into the empty room.

“Did you say something?” Steve's back and he gets in tot he bed again.

“Nah, nothing important” I mumble

“You're feeling better?” he hugs me and I just want to tell him to fuck off but at the same time I know I need him.

“Well... I don't know how I'm feeling right this instant. I mean he was on the fucking TV last night Steve.”

“Ehmmm... Sweetheart that was a week ago, it's Sunday” I hear him say, I turn to him staring in to his eyes. He's got to be kidding?

“A week? I've been...shut off again for a week?” Steve just nods at me with a sad smile

“I've been here as soon as I got off from work, your dad's been taking time off to be here during the day. This was almost worse than before, we haven't even gotten you out of bed this time. I've carried you to the bathroom every evening and given you a bath. We've tried to get you to take fluids at least. Sweetheart I need you to talk to me, talk to someone this can't go on.” he's crying now

He's been giving me a bath every evening? No wonder he's put off by me... That would kill any flame that might have been flickering in him. I hang my head, I know he's right. I need to try to get through this. I will see his photo again, I will hear his name. I can't keep shutting down every time. It will kill me and I can't do that to dad, I just can't.

“Ok... I'll talk to someone. Not the ass that was here before though...find me someone else please” I say and Steve smiles through his tears.

“I'll find you as many people as I can until you find the right one. I promise” he pulls me in close to his chest and I draw a deep breath taking in the scent that is Steve. God this is so bad but yet feels so good. So a long as I keep it friendly I get to have him close. I'll learn to live with it, I've done it before. The one sided love is my thing...

“What time is it?”

“It's 10 am, why?” he says stroking my back

“I want to visit him”

“Are you sure that's a good idea, I mean this close to an...episode?” he's worried and I get that

“I don't think there will ever be a good time Steve, please”

“Fine...” he sighs “We'll get you up and in some clothes, get something to eat and then we''ll see how you feel. Ok?”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” he says

“You really are the greatest you know that right? I know I haven't said it much and I sure don't show it but I do think you are” I look at him as he helps me get up in to a sitting position on the edge of the bed

“I... thank you Em. I would do anything for you, anything to make you feel better” he leans in and gives me a soft kiss. I want to cry, why does he have to do this. I know he didn't use the bathroom to pee before... it took too long. He was...helping himself deal with the situation in his pants. The thing he apparently doesn't want me to do for him. I draw a deep breath and I pull away from him

“Ok so clothes please” he looks like I hurt his feelings but he says nothing

“Sweats and a t-shirt ok?” he asks and I nod

“Comfy is the key here Steve” I say and he has to give me a quick smile. He helps me get dressed and get me down to the kitchen. “Where's dad?” I ask

“I think he had to go in to the office today, seeing as I'm here now and he can leave” Steve says as he makes me a sandwich and a cup of tea. I eat half the sandwich promising Steve to finish it when we get back. He gets me my jacket and my shoes and we go out to the car. It's a short drive from our house to the cemetery. Steve helps me out of the car and we walk towards the newer graves in the area. I see it before he can point it out. Someone's scribbled “FREAK” on the back of it with red paint.

“Still?” I say my voice a low growl

“Yeah... Some people will never change. We removed it in the beginning, now we just leave it.” he says and sighs

We round the headstone and I read

Here lies

EDDIE MUNSON

Beloved friend and son

*1966 +1986

Graduated with honour

I stare at the words as tears start falling quietly down my face

“Steve, could you please leave me for a while. I'll wave for you when you can come back?”

“Of course” he says puts a hand on the stone and I hear him whisper “I told you I'd get her to come visit man” then he walks over to a bench a bit away from me leaving me in front of Eddies grave. I manage to sit down on the ground in front of the stone. I put my hand on it

“Hey Ed, sorry it took so long. But you leaving me like that fucked me up, like real bad. I miss you so much sometimes I shut down. I've had one of those weeks now. Been completely out. No contact. Why the hell did you have to be a hero huh? I told you to not try and be one... but you never did listen to me did you? Feels so weird sitting here talking to you like this, I mean I know you're not down there. You're stuck in some alternate reality, probably waiting for someone to find you and bring you home. I'm going to try Ed, I promise. I think I can get Dustin to help, he looked like he thought of the same thing. We're going to find you Ed, find you and give you your actual final resting place, not that crappy piece of dirt in front of that trailer where Dustin had to leave you. I promise!

Then there's Steve... I know I told you I wouldn't, but I did fall for him. Just like you said I would if I gave him a chance, but I was right to you know. I fell for him and now he has no interest in me any more. Guess I finally won an argument with you freak. Fucking hell man, I miss your voice and your smile. There's this ache inside of me all the time. I saw you on the news a week ago, that's what triggered me shutting down. Steve thinks I need to talk to someone about you, but you know what. This, sitting here talking to you makes me feel better. Maybe you can be my therapist? I'll come here once a week and spill my mind to you? I know for a fact you won't tell anyone...” I sit there talking to him like he's still with me, pouring my heart out to a headstone in a cemetery. When I feel like I have nothing more to tell Eddie I turn and I wave to Steve. He comes up to me

“You feel ok? You've been sitting here touching his stone for quite a while now” he sounds so concerned

“You know what Steve, I needed this. I've been talking to him, telling him all the things that's been going on. I feel better Steve. I promise I do. Thank you for agreeing to take me here. Please help me up” I say and I hold out my hand. Steve takes it and carefully helps me to my feet. I wrap my arms around him and I kiss him. His fucking feelings be damned I think. At first he's just tense like a string on a guitar, then he relaxes and I actually feel him kissing me back. His hand sliding up my back to my neck. It's a long kiss and as we finally pull apart I whisper “well...if Eddie's somewhere looking down right now you better believe the fucker's cheering” Steve chuckles

“I bet... If that's what I get for taking you here I think we need to go at least once a day” he smirks. He takes my hand “you ready to leave, it's getting a bit chilly” I nod. As we walk past the stone he places a hand on it “see you later man, I'll be back. Like always” he fist bumps the stone and we walk to the car

“As always?”

“I stop by every day... Telling him how you're doing” he looks at me and my heart fills to the brim with undeniable love for this man

“I... you do that? Why?” I want to tell him right now how I feel, but I can't bring myself to ruin this

“Well... you haven't been able to. Someone needs to keep him in the loop, he loved you you know. Very much and he'd want to know how you're doing”

“I loved him I mean I still do, I think maybe a little too much even. Steve... I...”

“It's ok, he was my friend too you know. I never thought I'd like Munson, he was so different from me. But he was the sweetest soul I think I've ever met. The way his eyes lit up when he talked about you, sometimes it sounded like a sales pitch” he chuckles “and sometimes just the purest love”

“Don't you ever want to go back and try to find him and bring him home?” I need to ask

“Go back there? I mean for him, if I knew we could find him, and that there was anything to actually bring home. Maybe I might... But I don't think there is a way back now we killed Vecna. There's been no sign of the upside down since then, and Will's always been hyper sensitive to anything coming out of there. But since that day nothing, not even a tingle he says” Steve looks at me “NO! No fucking way Em, I can see what you're thinking. We're NOT trying to find a way in, especially not you in this state, you'd be the first to perish in there if something's still around” he stares me down

“Fine, I wouldn't know where to even begin looking so... I just can't deal with the thought of him all alone there.” I tear up Steve takes me in his arms

“I know sweetheart, I get that none of us want to think of that. But he isn't alone really. All the other's Vecna took are in there with him. Max saw them all. I know that's no comfort, not even a little bit. But still his body isn't the only one buried in there” Steve hugs me tight

“You suck at this” I smirk “but I didn't know that. It makes him seem a little less alone. Can we go home now? Get in to bed and hug for a bit?” I say

“Of course we can. You really do seem like you feel better Em. I didn't think talking to Eddie this way would do you any good. I'm sorry” he opens the car door for me and I get in, he walks around the car getting in the drivers seat

“Yeah, I didn't think talking to that stone would make any difference either. But... I felt like he was there listening to me. Sounds delusional I know but hey...if it helps right?” I say

“Absolutely, anything helping you I'm all for. Even if it's driving you to the cemetery to talk to a grave once a week or once a day. I'm here for you” he takes my hand and gives it a kiss as he drives us back home again. At this moment I feel like I could tell him and maybe, just maybe he'd feel the same. Then I think of this morning and my mind goes full stop, no point telling him he'd just walk away. Keep him close as a friend and love him regardless.

We snuggle down in bed after Steve gets me to eat the other half of the sandwich like I promised. He wraps his arms around me and I nuzzle into his chest. I drift off almost immediately, dreaming of the funeral again. I see myself writing on a piece of paper

“You LIED to me you fucking asshole. You said you'd be back. I HATE YOU!” and then I see myself throwing that piece of paper in the coffin alongside a whole bunch of similar papers. I wake up to my own sobs Steve worried sick trying to wake me up

“Emma, God what's wrong? What happened, we dozed off and I wake up to find you like this?”

“Steve... Did I write a letter to Eddie and put in his coffin? DID I?” I raise my voice in the end

“Yes, we didn't think you'd be able to or if you even took in what we asked you. But you scribbled something on a piece of paper and put it in. Why?”

“Did they play 'Master of puppets' at the service? Was his dad allowed time from jail so he could attend?” I ask

“Yeah... you remember the funeral?” he sounds confused

“I didn't before... I dreamt of it after you told me that it happened. Like my brain kept it from me until it felt safe to remember it. I know what I wrote Steve and I feel fucking awful” I cry again

“What sweetie, what did you write?” he's rubbing my arms kissing my head repeatedly

“I wrote that he lied to me, that he was an asshole and that I hated him... Steve I don't hate him how could I write that?” I sob

“You were so angry in the beginning. You don't remember? You had your calm days where all you did was strum on the guitar and look out the window. Other days you destroyed anything in your path. Haven't you noticed the mirror in here is gone, and all your breakable things?” I look around and I realize he's right

“I...broke them?” I ask

“Yeah... you threw them at me, at your dad, at Nancy, Dustin anyone daring to even try to mention his name. We thought for sure you'd trash the funeral home at the service. But you just shut off and barley existed during that whole time. That's why we were surprised you tried to write anything at all to him”

“How did you all tolerate me? How are you all even still around? How can you be...this good to me if I was like that to you?”

“Eddie wasn't the only one who loved you and calls you their friend Emma. We're all still around because we care about you. We even had Eleven try to get through to you once but you told her to fuck off and she didn't dare try again” he chuckles

“I did that? She was in my head and I told her to fuck off... oh my god I need to apologize to her. I like her... I didn't mean to” I feel like I'm about to panic, this is too much. I thought I was just...existing not doing anything. Seems I was wrong, it makes it so much more obvious why Steve wouldn't want anything to do with me like that any more. “I must have been a grade A bitch to you all?”

“Well... sometimes yeah. But you never insulted us at least. Probably because you never ever said a word to anyone. You just stared us down and threw things at us” he gives me a smile

“I can never take it back, and I can never make it right. But I am so sorry Steve. More than you'll ever know”

“Sweetheart, you were in so much pain, none of us could ever understand how much really. I didn't take it as an attack on me, I took it as a way to deal with the pain. I'm still here aren't I? If I took it to heart I'd be long gone, I think we all would.” he kisses my forehead and looks me deep in the eyes “I promise you I am not hurt ok?” then he kisses me for real, a deep emotional kiss “OK?”

“Ok... I believe you. But I still want to apologize to the rest of them” I say with a small voice

“Sure, we can go see Max if you want? I bet the majority of them are there. It's still kind of early. The visiting hours aren't over until 7.” Steve looks at me

“I would like that. Do I need to change maybe?” I say and Steve gives a small laugh

“Well considering you have some of the Hawkins cemetery plastered to your ass I'd say it's up to you”

“I what?” I pull my sweats off turning them over. On the ass I have a big dirt stain from sitting on the ground for 30 minutes talking to Eddie. “Aha... well ok then new pants it is” I say and I crawl over Steve making me straddle him for a second. I hear him moan and whisper under his breath

“Em... please what are you doing?” his hands have stopped me moving away by grabbing a hold on my hips pulling me in close to him.

“I was getting out of bed Steve... what are you doing?” I feel breathless

“I... I don't know...”

“Then don't think, just do Steve...” I whisper and I kiss him. His hands move on their own now, grabbing my ass pressing me in to his jeans. I moan and I sit up pulling my shirt over my head freeing my tits “please Steve... touch me” I whimper

“You sure? I mean... I don't want to make you feel bad in any way”

“Steve...we've done this before there's no way you can make me feel bad” he grabs my waist and spins me around on the bed so I end up on my back. He's all over me kissing me touching me. With almost a desperate side to him. His kisses trail down my body until they reach my inner thighs, then he sits up slightly grabs the waistband of my panties and rips them apart. I gasp, so forceful? He looks down at me

“So god damn perfect...” he growls and he plunges his face in between my thighs letting his tongue slide from my entrance all the way up my folds to my clit. He licks and sucks so desperately. Like he thinks he's never going to get the chance again. I feel him slide a finger in me finding the soft spongy part inside of me that makes my world spin.

“Fuck Steve... I'ma cum...” I groan, fuck I forgot how good this feels, how good he is at this. He hums his approval at my clit making such awesome vibrations sending me straight over the edge. I scream as the orgasm hits me like ton of bricks. As I'm panting trying to get my head back on straight Steve undresses faster than my brain can register. He's SO ready to go, pumping his massive dick with his hand

“I don't have a rubber Em... can I come on your tits?” he purrs at me

“Right now?” I ask feeling a little snubbed

“No... need to fuck you first” he murmurs staring at my pussy

“Then come on my tits all you want” I say and I raise my legs and put them on his shoulders. He lets out a deep growl as he positions the tip of his cock at my entrance and slides in through the wetness.

“Fuuuuuck Em, I've been dreaming of this ever since last time” he makes long deep thrusts after staying still for a moment letting me adjust to his size

“What the hell took you so long getting back in there then” I pant

“I'm a fucking moron” he growls as he picks up the pace holding my legs high kissing my ankles as he fucks me “fuuuuck close now...wanna sit up for me” he groans and pulls out rapidly. I let my legs fall to his sides and I sit up pressing my tits up against his balls. He moans a deep coarse sound as he paints my chest with his warm seed. Squirt after squirt hits my tits and I just stare at this amazingly handsome man towering over me dick in hand making the most delicious sounds ever. As he descends from his high he looks down at me

“Hey...” he smiles a warm smile at me

“Well hey yourself” I say as I drop my tits down to their natural place. “Cum here often?” I giggle

“Not as often as I would have liked to” he says leans down and kisses me. “Shower? Then hospital?” he mumbles into the kiss

“Well... I don't think I should go there trying to apologize covered in your cum. Might give the wrong impression” I smile

“Very true, so go a head ladies first” he says

“I think the ladies legs might need a minute, so you go first and I'll try to wake myself up so I don't fall over” I say and he nods and gets out of bed. I feel... happy... haven't felt that feeling in a long time. Granted it's “just” an orgasm happy but still, small wins I think. Steve comes out of the shower, looking like a million bucks only wearing towel around his waist.

“How are the legs? Up for the challenge or do you need help?” he holds out his hand. I take it and stand up, feeling a little wobbly but not too bad. He eyes my naked body “wow” he sighs “sorry 'bout the panties” he smiles

“No worries, I have more than one pair. Don't do it every time though then I might need to start shopping” I giggle and he turns quiet and serious

“Not sure this was a good idea Em... I mean I really liked don't get me wrong but”

“Sure... I get it. Occasional hook-up, don't mention it. I take back that joke, apparently not appropriate” I say and head in to the bathroom locking the door behind me. I step in to the shower and I let the warm water wash away the shame and the tears burning a hole on the inside. When will I ever learn? I get out, feeling somewhat better. I look in the mirror... Get a fucking grip you knew this was coming, you knew it a year ago. Don't be a fool. I lecture my reflection and I curse Eddie for putting ideas in my head about Steve maybe liking me back. I look up at the ceiling “See you freak... I was fucking right all along” I take a deep breath and I unlock the door. Steve's gone, I hear him down in the kitchen. Probably heating up some food for us before we leave for the hospital. I get dressed, and I try to make my way down on my own. I get halfway down the stairs and I have to sit down. The room is spinning. I sit there when Steve comes out probably to check if I'm done in the shower

“What the hell Em, you should have called for me. You ok?” he hurries up to me

“Yeah I'm fine, besides I might need to learn to do this on my own at some point right? You're not gonna be around forever” I can hear my voice sounding a bit more frosty than I meant it to.

“Oh... Well I guess not. But I am here now you know” he takes my hand and it feels like it's burning my skin. I can't help my reaction I flinch slightly as he touches me. His eyes look sad and he takes a deep breath “Ok, up” he says to me and helps me to my feet “I've made some food. Thought we might need some energy before heading out again” he glances over at my face and I nod

“You're probably right. Thanks” I say. We eat in silence, I don't know what to say to him that's not going to trigger another bad or weird reaction. I thank him for dinner and I go to get my shoes and jacket on as he clears the plates. We head over to the hospital, also in silence. We get there and this time there's more of them here. I see Eleven first thing as I enter. I go straight up to her and give her a long hug

“I'm so sorry El, I never meant to say that to you. Not in my mind or any other time” she smiles at me

“I know that Emma... But you're a scary girl when you're angry and I've blown up Vecna” she giggles I smile at her then I turn to the rest of them

“I want to apologize to all of you. Steve told me I was...angry in the beginning. I had no idea. I think my mind has hidden things from me it doesn't think I need to deal with just yet. Just trust me when I say I didn't mean any of the angry looks or the throwing things at you”

“We know Em, we know. Anger is a part of it, you don't think I've been furious with myself for letting him go alone? I've been drowning in self loathing, but it doesn't change a thing. He's not coming back and there is no good in hating myself, he made his decision. He was fully intent on coming back to you I know that. He just... wanted to help them” Dustin motions towards Steve, Robin and Nancy who are huddled in the corner watching me

“I went to see his grave... It's beautiful, I talked to him. Made me feel better, I got to tell him off for leaving me. Thank you for not giving up on me... on us” I look over at Max “for not giving up on us” I hug Dustin and I whisper in his ear “meet me tomorrow at the cemetery please” He hugs me back and I feel him give a little nod.

I sit there next to Max's bed talking to her for a while, telling her about the conversation I had with Eddie. I know all the others are listening to me but I don't care. I'm talking to Max, not them. As I get up to leave I feel the whole room spin and I pass out.

When I come back again there's full chaos. They're all trying to help, there's a nurse and a doctor hovering over me. I'm lifted up by Steve and put on a bed that's been rolled in to the room. Everyone is talking over each other. I try to take Steve's hand, he looks down at me tears in his eyes

“Hey...you're awake...”

“Can you...make them quieter?” I whisper

“HEY!” the room falls quiet “she's awake. Keep it down please” he says in a low voice

The doctor looks at me

“Ms Lundberg, I'm Doctor Williams. Can I ask you, has the room been spinning lately? You feel like you might pass out?”

I nod “Yeah, a couple of times.” I admit

“Well, your blood pressure is dangerously low. And your blood sugar levels are also lower than I would like to see. You need to start getting out moving your body on a more regular basis. And you need to start eating, proper meals. Begin with maybe 5 or 6 small meals throughout the day. This isn't good for your recovery. Your friends have told me about the resent struggles in your life.” he says “I would like to give you the number of a friend of mine that's a good therapist, specializing in trauma. Also I will be filling a prescription for a low dose anti anxiety medication, it might help getting you out of bed and moving around more. Take short walks around the house. Are you ok with this Ms Lundberg?”

“Ehm, yes sir I am. Thank you” I say, not knowing what else to say. He seems friendly and willing to help me. I need, if not for anything else but for dad, try to accept help given to me. I know this and somewhere inside of me Eddie's voice is telling me to get his weirdo back in shape. Steve's standing next to me holding my hand listening to the doctor, nodding along to the information.

“Maybe you can get your boyfriend here to help you take one longer walk a week” the doctor says looking at Steve

“I'm not...” “He's not” we say in chorus

“Oh, I'm sorry. You just seemed so close” the doctor gives us an apologetic smile

“It's ok doc. It's just not the case” Steve says without so much as a look at me and my heart drops. He can't be making things any more clear can he? I make up my mind here and now. I need to talk to Dustin tomorrow and get the ball rolling. The doctor gives me some further instructions, tells me that I can get my prescription by tomorrow morning, then him and the nurse leaves.

“Can you drive me home now Steve?” I say

“Of course Em.” he smiles at me “I'll go get the car closer to the entrance then I'll be back to get you , ok?”

“Sounds like a good idea.” I smile back at him but the smile isn't reaching my eyes I can tell by the way Robin and Nancy look at me. I sit up in the bed and I look at Steve's back as he leaves. The two girls come up to me and sit down on either side of me

“Ok, what is this? Something's happening with the two of you. C'mon spill” Robin says

“I...” I contemplate lying to them just to be left alone, then I change my mind “I fucking love him ok... But like I told Eddie last year as soon as I develop feelings I become uninteresting to the other part. So now I'm...nothing to him”

“You're not nothing to him Emma, do you think he'd stay with you like he does if you were?” Nancy looks at me

“Ok, maybe not nothing. But I'm not what I want to be to him ok. I'll be fine being his friend if he could keep it friendly ALL the time. But then he goes and does that crap he did this afternoon and everything's worse again...” I sigh

“What? What did he do? Do I need to kick his ass? Because I will!” Robin says

“Nah, that sounded worse than it was. We... you know...” I blush “this afternoon after I visited Ed and before we came here. I thought that maybe... maybe I meant more to him than just a friend. But as soon as we were done he regretted it and said it was a bad idea. So, yeah... I'm fucked. In the bad way” tears threaten to spill over. I can tell the two girls are looking at each other over my head

“You sure he doesn't feel the same? Have you actually asked him Emma? Talked about this with HIM?” Nancy takes my hand

“I can't deal Nance, my mind can't handle the actual rejection ok. This afternoon threw me for a loop and almost made me spiral again. I don't wanna dig deeper into it. I just need to find a level ground with him. But then he does or says these wonderful things and my heart melts for him.” I give them a smile “Eddie did tell me I would fall in love with Steve if I gave him a chance. I hate that he was right... but then again I was right to when I told him that by the time I would love Steve he'd lose interest in me. I never won an argument with him when he lived...guess I had to wait for him to...” I can't form the word “before I could win one” Robin hugs me tight

“Don't give up on Steve, that dingus has always been slow” she giggles

“I think there are things in this he isn't sharing with you Emma. I'll do some discrete digging in this. See if I'm right in my suspicions. But I agree with Rob, don't give up on him” Nancy smiles at me

“Ok, I guess. I'm just...so broken. I can't handle this crap” I sigh and they tell me they understand. We sit there in silence until Steve gets back and helps me down to the car. He drives me home and helps me inside.

“So living room or bed?” he asks

“Been a long day Steve, I think bed” I say. He helps me up the stairs in to the bathroom where I get ready for bed. I go out and I crawl down under the covers. Fully expecting him to come join me like every night. He stands there looking at me

“Ehmmm... I need to go Em” he sighs

“What? You're not...staying with me?” my voice is barely there

“I'm sorry... I can't tonight. I'll be back tomorrow, I promise.” he looks uncomfortable where he's standing looking at the floor not me

“Steve... Do you have a date or what?” I ask not really wanting to know the answer. He just looks up at me with a sad expression on his face “Oh... Ok say no more. I'll be alright then. Have fun, close the door when you leave” I say and I turn to face the window.

“I'm... sorry” I hear him whisper then the door closes and he's gone. So fucking much for being here for me as long as I needed him I think. Feeling both angry, heartbroken and sad I start crying, heart wrenching sobs that I can't control. I feel the darkness creeping in around me, threatening to make me spiral out of reality again. NO! Hell no, I'm not going to let another guy push me in to that place. It was bad enough Eddie had to be a fucking hero and destroy me in the process. I am not going to let Steve destroy me as well. I take a deep breath and I sit up in the bed. I look around, what can I do to keep my mind occupied? I see Eddies guitar leaning against the wall. I get out of bed and I sit in my chair in front of the window and I take the guitar and I play. I play every cheesy love song I can think of and I sing. I sing to myself, I sing to Steve and I sing to Eddie. The last song I play is the one slow song I know Eddie secretly loved. “Forever Young” by Alphaville. I know he loved it because every time it came on the radio I could see him singing along to the lyrics, he'd never admit it though.

“Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while

Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies

Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst

Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever

We don't have the power, but we never say never

Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip

The music's for the sad man

Can you imagine when this race is won?

Turn our golden the faces into the sun

Praising our leaders, we're getting in tune

The music's played by the, the madman

Forever young

I want to be forever young

Do you really want to live forever?

Forever, and ever”

Tears falling down my face I sing and play his guitar, thinking back at all the times I teased him for knowing every word to this song

“Eddie... I Love you so much” I say out loud into the darkness outside my window. The guitar falls out of my hands and hit the floor as I cry for Eddie, I cry for Max and most of all I cry for the love I have for Steve that's never going to happen. I don't know how long I've been crying when I hear dad come in to my room, kneeling beside me

“Honey? What's wrong? What happened today?” he's stroking my back trying to get me to answer but I can't I just cry and cry. He picks me up and sits down in the chair putting me in his lap like he did when I was little, rocking me stroking my hair telling me all will be ok at some point. We sit there for I don't know how long. The crying won't stop until there are no more tears left in me I feel completely drained. Dad gets up and puts me down on my bed, pulling the covers over me. He kisses my forehead and whispers “please try to rest honey, we can talk in the morning” I manage a small nod at him then I close my eyes and drift off into a deep dreamless sleep, my body and my mind too exhausted to care if I'm alone or not.

When I wake up it's 7 am. I feel...different. Like I'm ok, or well ok-ish. Like that last night was the breaking point. I sit up and I decide that today is the day I start dealing with this shit that is life. If he can move on that easily so can I. Why love a man that won't ever love me back? I try to get out of bed, it's working today. I get to bathroom all on my own. I shower and I get dressed. I need to go shopping, this won't do. I look down at myself. Every piece of clothing I own is ill fitted these days, everything is baggy. I take a deep breath and I begin to tackle the stairs, I feel like such a rock star when I manage to get downstairs without having to call for help. Dad's in the kitchen reading the newspaper, he looks up when I enter

“Honey? Did you get ready and get down here all on your own or has Steve come in without me noticing?” he says

“All on my very own, I don't think Steve will be here until later, if at all” I say and he looks at me confused

“What? I thought he came back after I went to sleep... He said he had to go home for a bit before I came up to your room last night” dad says and now I'm the one confused

“He left long before that dad” I say

“No, we sat on the stairs listening to you sing up there. Then when you stopped and...well told Eddie you love him, that's when Steve said he needed to go home but that he'd be back” I came up maybe 10 minutes later

“But I was singing for like what an hour? It was like 30 minutes from him leaving until I began singing. You mean to tell me he sat on the stairs... all that time?” my mind isn't getting this

“Well I guess, I came home maybe 10 minutes before we heard you start to sing. He was still here then at least. Why...what happened sweetheart?” dad says

“Did he tell you what happened at the hospital?”

“Yes he did, good that it happened there and not anywhere else. I mean not good...you know. So? Are you going to call that therapist or?” dad looks at me

“Yeah I actually think I will. I promised Steve I'd talk to someone, so I guess I'll begin by giving this one a go first” I say and I feel I mean it. I am going to call

“That's good sweetheart, but talking of Steve...honey...”

“I don't know dad. I thought he might feel about me the way I feel about him... but no he doesn't. He had a date last night...or so he told me. That's what happened last night. It all came crumbling down. But that crying dad, it... helped. I feel more sane and put together today than I have since before Eddie died” this was the first time I said the word out loud and it didn't make me sick to my stomach uttering them. Dad knows this and he looks at me waiting for the break

“I'm ok dad, he died...and I need to be able to say that and accept it. Step one is to call that therapist. But first I also needed to start eating the doc told me. 5 or 6 small meals a day. But real food not like sandwiches and things like that. So... does oatmeal count as food you think? I actually feel like eating that”

Dad is just staring at me, I get it. The difference between yesterday and today is so apparent a blind person could see it.

“Yeah I mean oatmeal is most likely considered food. At least a breakfast food. I can make you some if you'd like?” dad says

“Thanks that would be great, I'm going to find the note with the telephone number on it and make that call before I change my mind” I say and I go look for my jacket. I find the card with the number on it and I head in to dads office to have some privacy. I dial the number

“This is Doctor Carter” a very warm female voice answers

“Hello, my name is Emma Lundberg. I got this number yesterday from Doctor Williams at Hawkins memorial. I had a bit of an incident there yesterday and he thought I might want to talk to you” I say thinking this is the only way I could explain it

“Yes, hello Emma. He did call me yesterday telling me he met you. He gave me a short backstory to see if I thought I might be able to help. But that is not the way I would put it, I would like to know if YOU think coming to talk to me would help you” she's already 100 times better than the ass they sent here before.

“I think I am ready to try and accept help yes.” I say

“That sounds good Emma, I like that you put it that way. I have an appointment available tomorrow at 2, would that work for you? Better start as soon as possible I say” she sounds very calm and friendly

“Tomorrow at 2? Ok, that works for me. What's the address?” she tells me where to go and we hang up. I get back to the kitchen dad's setting the table for us

“Mind if I eat with you? I'm heading in to the office in about 20 minutes.” he says as he serves the oatmeal he made in a small bowl for me

“Sure dad, of course why would you need to ask?” I smile “So I have an appointment with doctor Carter tomorrow at 2. I'll see if Nancy might be able to drive me, I think she said she only has work until 1 on Tuesdays.” I tell dad and he smiles

“Wow that was fast, so how did he or she sound?”

“She... she sounded calm and friendly. Understanding, I think she might be a good pick” I say as I eat

“Amazing sweetheart! Well if Nancy can't drive you then I can take a late lunch and come home to drive you there if someone might be able to come pick you up when you're done. You can tell me tonight what arrangements you make. But sorry I have to leave now, I'll deal with cleaning up when I get home. Just remember to eat more today. Steve told me about the food thing last night so I made 4 smaller containers with food that are in the fridge for you to heat up during the day. Then we'll have dinner when I get home tonight. Sound ok?” he kisses my cheek

“Awesome dad, thank you” I say. Dad leaves and I sit there thinking for a while. Then I get up from the table and I clean up after us. Why would he have to do that when he gets home, I can do it. So what else was there? I think. Small walks around the house, use my body more. I put my shoes on and I take my jacket. I know the doctor might have meant me walking inside, like around the living room but I want fresh air. I make it two times around the house before I feel I need to sit down for a bit. It's sunny and quite warm out today so I sit down on the stairs looking out over the street. So much time has passed but it still feels like no time passed. I'm just waiting to hear that god-awful sound Eddies beat up old van made as he took the last bend in the road up here. I laugh, fuck I hated that van, but he loved it. If I knew I could make it I would walk to the cemetery to talk to him. I feel like I'm about to cry, but I think I ran out of tears all I can manage is a dry sob. I look up at the sun.

“Yeah... If I knew where that old hunk of junk was now I'd buy it and get that damn license so I could fix her up and keep the spirit going Ed” I say up to the clouds. I hear a car honk and I look out in to the street. I see a car pull in, I don't recognise it. But I do know the guy in it!

“Gareth! Oh my god HI!” I get up from the stairs and head over to the car. He gets out and we hug “How are you man? How's school?”

“Hey Em, schools...empty without you guys” he says

“Yeah I always was the light of that place wasn't I?” I smile “You wanna come in? I've just been out for a walk”

“Nah, I was heading back to school and I saw you. Thought I'd stop and say hello. Maybe some other day?” he says and I have an idea

“Could I get a ride to the cemetery please? I was just sitting here thinking I'd like to go see Eddie... But I can't really walk that far yet” I say, I assume everyone knows how bad off I'd been

“Yeah... sure. I was there yesterday, I tell him my ideas for campaigns.” he gives me a sad smile

“I bet he loves that wherever he is. He probably as a lot of opinions too” I smile back at him

“Probably” he chuckles

“I'll just get my keys and I need to leave a note. Be right back” I say and I head inside. I write a note and leave on the table right as you enter.

“Hey, got a ride with Gareth to see Ed, please come pick me up -Em”

I know Steve might check in on me at lunch. That's like 2,5 hours from now. Otherwise I'll just ask someone I see at the cemetery for a ride home. I lock the door and join Gareth in the car.

“Thanks for this man, I need to sort out my own license. But you know...been a bit off lately” I say

“Yeah...we've all heard. We're so sorry Em, you feeling better now or is it like a day by day thing?” he asks as we drive off

“I feel better actually. I think I hit a breaking point yesterday evening. Woke up today and decided that I need to start dealing with this shitty existence. Me being crappy isn't helping anyone. So... Hellfire still up and running then I guess? Since you said to talk to Ed about campaigns.” I look at him

“Yeah... We're still going...well not strong but we're ok. If you feel like it we still play in the same place every Thursday at 6.” he says

“You know what Gareth, I think I might actually join you some time. I miss you guys” when I say it I feel that it's true. I do miss Hellfire and I do miss the guys in it. “So who's in it besides you? I guess Mike, Dustin and Lucas are still in?”

“Yeah, I took dm when you guys...weren't around any more. So it's us 4 then Will joined when they moved back, also Erica is a member now. Then there's this kid called Elias that Erica brought. He's decent. But we do miss you guys” he says

He stops the car at the gates to the cemetery, I get out and thank him for the ride. Promising him to come to a Hellfire game soon. I start walking the path towards Eddies grave. Someone's there already, I look at the time. But? It's a school day it can't be...

“Hey Dustin, why aren't you in school?” I say as I get there

“Oh, hey. Free period. I come here when I have 'em. Hoped I'd see you here today, since you said that thing at the hospital yesterday” he says “wanna sit?” he has a blanket on the ground and he moves over making room for me

“Thanks... Hey Ed” I say and I pet the stone in front of me

“So... am I right in thinking you wanna try to find him?” I hear Dustin say the second I sit down

“Right to the point Henderson I appreciate that. Yeah... I can't fucking stand the idea of him spending eternity stuck there. I just can't, but Steve won't help me, I'm guessing neither will Rob or Nance. So either I do this alone or...”

“Hell no, I'll help. Can't stand that I had to leave him... I owe it to him to get him out” a tear falls from his eyes

“So how do we do this? Have you got any clue if there are any gates still around?” I sit and look at the headstone with his name in bold letters

“The lake one isn't an option, neither is the one under the lab. Don't think that one even exists any more. The best thing would be if the one where the trailer park was is still around. We'd be coming in at the right spot. He...died right there” Dustin struggles getting the word out just like I did.

“Dustin... Can you tell me his last words? I've been wanting to ask but I couldn't get myself to do it” I say. Dustin's eyes fill with tears and he stares at the headstone in front of us for a minute or so before he starts talking

“I sat there holding him, he was bleeding so bad Emma. You could barely make out the words. But he said 'I didn't run away this time right?' I told him no he didn't. Then he told me I had to look after the little sheep for him. Then he said 'I think I'm actually gonna graduate, I think this is my year Henderson, it's finally my year. I love you man' then he stopped breathing” Dustin is crying now

“That's beautiful Dustin... So he died being him at least” I say

“Yeah he died smiling at me” he sobs

I sit there holding Dustin as he cries out his pain “I'm sorry I asked you to tell me...” I whisper feeling bad I made his day so much worse

“No, it's ok. I need to let it out is what mum tells me. But I want to get him Emma...he can't stay there he just can't” he looks at me

“I couldn't agree more Henderson, I couldn't agree more” I say. I look at my watch “I like sitting here with you but I think you might need to get back to school am I right?” I say

“Yeah you're right. Can I come over this weekend? We can...make plans” he asks as he gets up

“Sure, I'll be there. Wait you'll need your blanket” I say and attempt to get up

“Nah, I'll get it this weekend. You stay here with him a while” he says and walks away

I watch him go and then I turn my attention to the stone

“Hear that Ed, you're so loved. Bet you didn't expect that huh? Not bad for the resident freak. So we're coming to get you, you heard that right? I don't know when but soon I hope. I'll start taking this walking thing real serious and train more and more every day so I'll have the strength when the day comes. Can't really ask Steve or any of the other s to drive us... Sorry I'm yelling at you about Steve... But I DID tell you this would happen, fucker's gone and started dating. Yeah...so we did it again after we visited you last time. Then he was real quick with the regret...but I love him man. Can't help it... If you're around somehow...would you help me? Send me someone else to obsess about or I don't know make me forget Steve.” as I'm talking I'm stroking the cold stone “and I never ever meant what I wrote on that note you know that right? I was just so hurt you left me like this. We we're moving to Sweden together for fucks sake... Now what am I going to do? Can't bring you with me like this...” the tears I thought were all dried up start trickling down my face “Why the hell did you have to go and get yourself killed Ed? What was the point? How am I going to do any of this shit without my freak?” I hear footsteps in the gravel behind me then someone sits down next to me and puts their arm around me. I needn't look I can tell by the scent it's Steve. I take a deep breath and enjoy his smell, there's no denying it I'm screwed.

“Hey” I say

“Hey Em... Eddie man” he fist bumps the stone “saw the note, how's the talk been today?”

“Good...it's been good. He's a better listener dead...” I say and I hear Steve gasp

“Yeah...decided I need to start saying it out loud. Hit a breaking point last night. Called that therapist this morning, meeting her at 2 tomorrow. Promised Gareth I'd come join Hellfire some night. Been walking, two laps around the house.” I catch him up

“Wow, Em. That's great... What changed?” he asks and I just look at him

“Seriously Steve?”

“What?” he's silent for a second then “Oh...that...me” he looks down at his hands

“Have a good night? After you and dad took in my concert? He told me you didn't leave when you said you did... What the fuck Steve?” I'm getting angry now

“I'm so sorry, I don't know how to talk about some things with you. I...have issues of my own” he says

“Yeah, we all have issues man. But promising me to always be there if I need you and then just leave without an explanation. Really Steve? Why pester me about needing to talk when you're not going to do that yourself? I mean stop with the god damn mood swings Steve. You're giving me whiplash. Be there for me or leave me alone. If you met someone just tell me instead of telling me us fucking was a bad idea, that shit hurt bad Steve” I feel myself giving up now, the ball is in his court I'm done

“I AM here for you, just...with all you've been through now, how do I tell you stuff like that? I couldn't deal with everything that happened yesterday so I chickened out and I left you. I felt so fucking bad I stayed on the stairs trying to get the nerve to go back up to you. Then your dad came home and you began to sing. I couldn't ruin that so we listened to you and then I needed to clear my head so I went home. I'm a piece of shit for doing that when I did promise to always be there for you.”

“Well... It's up to you from now on. I have no energy left, I want you to be there with me, but I can't have you doing that to me. So what's it gonna be Steve? Are you going to talk to me when things get to be too much or are we ending this friendship right now?”

“I don't want to lose you Em, can we start over? Can we please try to find a way to talk about everything? I feel like there are things you're not telling me either” he says and I stay quiet. Do I tell him and risk him just going against everything he just said or do I set him free...

“We can try Steve. I mean I love...this friendship” I say “Ok, so... Drive me home? I guess you need to be back at work soon? Will you be back tonight or?” I say

“I'll be there, as soon as I'm off work. Here I'll help you up, hey smart move bringing a blanket this time” he says smiling at me as he takes my hand and helps me up from the ground

“Nah that's Henderson's. He was here when I arrived. He's coming over this weekend so he told me to just keep it until then” I say

“Ah, ok. How was he? I haven't seen him around school today”

“He was sad...or well I kinda made him sad” I say and I feel bad “I asked him what Eddie said to him before he died. He told me, I shouldn't have asked...I feel rotten for making him cry” I look at Steve

Steve hugs me “Don't feel bad, crying is good. But I understand you feeling bad for asking if it made him cry”

“Yeah, but I feel a little better knowing he was Eddie all the way to the end. The last thing he said to Dustin besides that he loved him was that it was finally his year. So this line right here” I point at the last thing written on the stone “this is so fitting and it makes me happy for him somehow” I say

We both say our good byes to Eddie and we leave the cemetery.

“Hey you're walking a lot better today sweetheart. Did you eat though?” Steve says as we reach the car

“I had oatmeal with dad this morning, I'm late eating lunch now. I didn't plan this trip today. I would have made a snack to bring but it slipped my mind when Gareth said he was leaving. But I have meals ready at home so I'll eat first thing I promise” I say as I get in the car

“Good girl!” Steve says and those two words send a shiver down my spine... why the hell was that so hot?

“Uhmm... thanks” I actually blush, fucking hell...why can't I act normal? Luckily as soon as he said it Steve turned around and went around the car to the drivers seat so he didn't notice me blushing over those two little words.

We head home and I do as I promised and I heat up one of the meals dad left me and I sit down in front of the TV. Steve goes back to work and I'm alone again. I watch some game show as I eat my food. I clean up after myself in the kitchen and I decide to make some tea and go out and sit on the porch again. It was nice getting fresh air. I sit there until it's starting to get chilly. I go inside again and I heat up another meal. I figured out that if I eat now there's another 3 hours until dad gets home, I'll have dinner with him then and I can eat one more of these before bed. Then I would have eaten 5 times today. “Hey Ed, high five freak” I say out loud chuckling feeling kinda good about myself.

Around five I hear a car door close and I assume it's dad coming home early but it's actually Steve.

“Oh, hey didn't think I'd see you until later” I say from the couch as he comes in the door

“Hey, I told you I'd be back when I was off work.” he sounds a little hurt

“Sorry, just thought you might have other things to do... not just keep a weirdo company. I mean I would very much appreciate if you'd be here for sleep...but I can't ask you to spend every minute here other than that. You need to have a life Steve” I say as he comes in and sits down with me

“Hey... I want to be here with you. Now shut up and come here” he holds out his arm for me to lean in against him. I take a deep breath and I move over and cuddle up against him on the couch. He smells so good it makes me want to cry. I lean in close and put my head on his chest. Instant comfort, and I fall asleep to the sound of the TV and Steve's heartbeats. I'm woken up by Steve softly shaking me

“Hey, no more nap now. You'll want to sleep tonight to” he smiles at me

“Wow... Didn't even feel that tired. How long was I out?” I ask

“Just about 30 minutes” he's very smiley

“What's so funny?” I say

“What? Nothing...you're just very cute...and you talk in your sleep by the way” he chuckles but something in his eyes makes me think he's sad

“I do not... do I?” I dread what I might have said

“You do, don't worry you were only talking about...or perhaps to Ed. You really do love him” he says

“Oh, well yeah I do. He was the best thing to ever happen to me” I say and I notice that sad look in his eyes again

“He was lucky he found you” Steve says and gets up “I need to pee and then I think it's time to make dinner. Should we surprise Martin? He's home in about 20 minutes”

“Yes let's do that! I'll go look what we can make” I say and get off the couch

“Look at you all spry again. What am I going to do with you now if I don't have carrying you around as a job any more?” he laughs as he goes in to the bathroom

“Oh I can think of something” I say under my breath as I go in to the kitchen

We decide to make chicken and rice with vegetables. Making enough so that we all get lunch in the morning as well. We laugh and talk as we cook. Like there was no weird tension between us earlier. When dad comes home we're sitting at the table, Steve winks at me and when he hears dad call

“Hey honey, you awake?” Steve calls back to him

“Welcome home sweetheart, dinner's ready” and we laugh

Dad comes in to the kitchen sees us laughing, food ready on the table and he just stares

“Wow, this is amazing. That episode last night really did make something change didn't it sweetheart. You look like a whole different person today” he kisses my head and I look over at Steve who's frowning

“Episode last night?” he says

“You haven't told him? Honey...” dad sounds surprised

“I'll tell you later, ok. Lets just eat before it gets cold” I say feeling bad for not telling Steve about my meltdown the night before

“Ok, please do” he says and I can hear he's a bit annoyed considering our conversation at the cemetery

Dinner is pleasant with good food and good conversation. Dad asks if Nancy could give me a ride and I panic

“God I forgot to call her, Gareth stopped by and I caught a ride with him to the cemetery” I explain “then I fell asleep for a little while when Steve came from work” I'll go call her now hold on. I go to the office and I sit down and call Nancy

“Wheeler residence”

“Hello Mrs Wheeler it's Emma. Is Nancy available?”

“Emma, oh sweetheart how good to hear your voice. Yes she's right here hold on”

“Hey Em, what's up” I hear Nancy say

“Hey, so did I get it right that you're off work at 1 on Tuesdays?” I ask

“Yeah, why?”

“Could I bother you for a ride tomorrow? I need to be at my new therapist's office at 2” I say

“Of course, I'll come pick you up straight from work no problem. How long is your appointment?”

“I think 1 hour” I say

“Ok then I'll run some errands and wait for you.”

“Thank you! You're the best.” I smile

“Oh I know, would you tell my boss though. Might make him pay me enough so I can move out soon” she giggles and I hear Mrs Wheeler mutter something in the background about ungrateful kids

“Yeah give me his number and I'll give him one kick-ass sales pitch” I laugh “See you tomorrow then Nance. Night”

“Night Em” we hang up and I go back to the kitchen

“So Nancy is picking me up when she's off work and then she said she'd wait for me to finish and drive me home as well” dad smiles

“She's so kind. I was having some issues getting time off to drive you myself. I would have made it work but this is much better” he says

“So what? I'm just here because I'm pretty to look at” Steve chuckles

“You work sweetie, remember the uncoordinated lamp posts?” I say and pet his arm

“Riiiight...them...” he smiles

That night was I crawl in to bed waiting for Steve to come upstairs I dread the conversation we're about to have. What am I going to tell him? That I cried my eyes out until I had no more tears for 3 hours straight because he left me... I decide I might as well tell him part of the truth at least. He comes up about 20 minutes after me, I'm almost asleep already

“Hey, move over you're hogging the bed” he says and gets in under the covers next to me

“Mmmmm...warm...sleepy” I say as he lies down behind me and wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer

“Cute girl” he whispers “but we need to talk just a little before we sleep, ok?”

“Ok...sorry... ok awake now” I shake my head

“So, don't hate me but I asked Martin what happened last night. Why did you cry so hard for 3 hours and not call me?”

“Because I cried over you leaving in the first place” I say quietly

“You...cried over me? Emma, turn around please” I turn so that I'm facing him “but why? And for the record I did not TELL you I had a date...you assumed because I didn't say anything”

“Over you, Max...Eddie... But that silence spoke louder than words Steve, I'm not saying you can't have a life. I just want to know... You said there was a lot for you to deal with yesterday, well news flash genius... it was the same for me. The fact that you so obviously regretted what we did before leaving to go see Max, well it did nothing to help an already bruised mind.”

“Regret... You think I regret us having sex?” he's staring at me

“Well... Telling me it was nice BUT and also that it was a bad idea... Steve c'mon” I say

“That wasn't regret...”

“Then what the hell was it?”

“Call it self preservation... But Emma, I don't regret it for a second. Please believe that, I just need more time before I can fully talk to you about this. Will you give me that?” I look at him, study that face that I love so deeply. He's as withdrawn as me I think. Well I can't ask him to tell me every single thought when I can't even admit my feelings to him

“Ok, I'll give you all the time you need. If you do me the same favour” I say. He looks deep into my eyes and he leans in and kisses my forehead

“Thank you” he whispers “regret having sex with you” he huffs “I'd be a fuckin idiot if that'd be true”

I smile, ok so that at least sounded true. But there is something he isn't telling me and I have a feeling it's something very important. But I just promised to give him time so I'd better hold my self to that. I turn over again and Steve puts his arm around me and pulls me in to his chest and we fall asleep.

I get woken up by Steve kissing my head

“Good luck today, I hope this therapist is good. Tell me all about it tonight, ok?”

“I hope so too, thank you Steve. Have a good one with the lamp posts” I smile at him and I stretch

“Fuck me you look so good when you do that” Steve grunts and then he leaves before I can say anything.

As I get up and take a shower my nerves start to get to me, what will today be like? How hard is this woman going to push me? What is she expecting me to tell her? These thoughts simmer in my brain until right before me and Nancy reach the therapist's office at 10 to 1.

“Ok, good luck. I'll be back here at 3. Then I'll wait if you're not done yet.” Nancy says and gives my arm a rub

“Thank you Nance... See you later”

At 3:15 I come out from the office feeling lighter in my own mind. I see Nancy's car and I go over to it and get in

“So? I'm curious, sorry” she smiles at me “wanna go grab a coffee and talk?” she asks

“Sure, that's be nice” I smile back at her

We head for one of the cafés in town. Sitting down outside, it's still quite warm outside.

“Ok, so. This woman is amazing. She listens to you as you speak, and she didn't once say that it'll get easier with time. She says grief MUST take it's own time, you can't try to hurry it. That will come back to haunt you later on. 'If it takes you 1 year or 50 years to feel ok about Eddie dying, then that is the time you needed it to take' that's what she said Nance. I am the one who has to feel when I'm ok with this no one else. But she thought it was nice that I go to his grave and talk to him, but also that I shouldn't shut you guys out. You lost him to, not just me I need to keep that in mind. So I'm sorry if I've been selfish Nance, I don't mean to be I hope you get that?” I look at her

“Sweetie, we know you don't mean to be selfish, we'd never assume anything like it. We all know the two of you had something we'd never even get close to. We all learned to love Eddie before he died. Hell, I mean even Steve liked him in the end.” she smiles

“Yeah I know he did. Did he tell you he stopped by the grave every day to talk to him?” I say and Nancy's eyebrows fly up

“He does? What for...I'm sorry but he seems the least likely”

“I know, but he says someone had to keep Eddie in the loop about how I was doing so he went over there every day and told him.”

“Wow, he's even worse off than I thought” she whispers to herself, I don't think I was meant to hear her

“What?” I say

“Nothing... Just that's so nice of him.” Nancy says smiling

We sit there for a little longer, talking about her and Jonathan now that they've moved back. And the fucking weirdest ever, Hopper being alive but captured by the Russians for almost a year. I heard this and I thought it was some kind of a dream. But no, apparently Steve had told me. My brain just kept that on the back burner also. Nancy drives me home around 4:30 and I slump down in the couch feeling like mush entered my brain. A lot of new impressions to deal with again today.

Steve comes back from work and he wants to hear all about what we'd talked about today. I tell him what I told Nancy and he says pretty much the same thing she did. That mine and Eddies love was something so much more than any of them had with Eddie. So no none thought of me as selfish. I hug him tight and thank him, he kisses me on the top of my head and mumbles “No worries sweetheart, love is a difficult thing”

We once again make dinner until dad comes home. And once again I have to tell the story of the amazing doctor Carter and her insightful thoughts. We all agree I seem to have found a good therapist. We have dinner, then we watch TV before I start yawning so bad both dad and Steve has to laugh at me

“Damn, if you didn't have ears your head would split in half” dad says with a laugh “better get to bed sweetheart before we'll have to carry you again” he pets my arm

“Yeah, I think I will. Night dad” I say then I look at Steve “You coming or leaving?”

“I'll be there soon, I wanna watch this til it ends. That ok?” he smiles at me

“Of course...why wouldn't it be” I say smiling back at him. I make my way up stairs. I decide I need a quick shower before bed, I feel a bit cold. I undress and get in the shower letting the hot water warm me up. I get out and I dry off. Not expecting Steve up just yet I go out into my bedroom butt naked to get a fresh pyjama out of the dresser. As I enter the room I feel myself getting a bit dizzy, I have skipped some of my meals today. Apparently I need to be more meticulous with that. I slump down on the floor by the dresser. There I sit when Steve comes up to go to bed

“Emma, God what happened?” he runs over and lifts me off the floor

“Just...dizzy. Been neglecting my meals today. Apparently a bad idea” I say and I blush

“Oh, sorry but, thank god it wasn't anything worse.” he says. We're just standing there. Him with me in his arms and me with my arms around his neck “Uhm... Em, this is a dangerous game we're playing. Think you can stand if I put you down? So I can get you some clothes...it's really effecting me feeling you like this” he says coarsely

Oh fuck I didn't manage to get dressed before I had to sit down, I'm still completely naked.

I look up at him, meeting his intense gaze

“I...well you could just put me down on the bed” I whisper

Steve walks over to the bed and leans forward putting me down on the bed carefully. As he stands up again he lets his hand slide up my body. He sighs deeply and turns away from me walking up to the dresser and gets a pyjama out for me. He hands it to me and stands with his back to me as I get dressed and crawl in under the covers

“Ok I'm done” I say feeling sad he didn't do anything more than that light touch. He changes to his pyjama bottoms and gets in with me. I lay my head on his chest as I've done now for as many nights as I can remember. How will I ever live without this heartbeat to fall asleep to? What happens when he can't be here any more? There is a feeling of panic inside of me fighting to get out and cause havoc. I won't let it... I don't need panic over Steve when I have to gather strength for mine and Dustin's plan. I'm going to need my all for that.

“So what's on the agenda for tomorrow then? Should I come back here for lunch? Or do you want to be alone?” Steve asks

“I never really WANT to be alone Steve, so please if you have the possibility I'd love it. I was thinking I might venture a little bit of a longer walk tomorrow. I felt real good walking today, so I thought seeing as it isn't too far I might go see Ed tomorrow around 10:30 and maybe you can pick me up when you come home for lunch?” I look up at him

“You sure you're up for it? I mean of course I'll pick you up there. That would probably be around 12:15 or something, that ok?” he smiles at me

“That sounds perfect Steve, well I'll decide when I wake up how I feel. I'll make sure to eat before I go and to bring something with me as well. I think I can do it. If not I'll call the school and leave a message for you” I say

“Sounds good sweetheart, but I think we should try for sleep now. Night Em” he hugs me tight kisses my head and gently starts stroking my back.

“Night Steve, thank you for being you” I say and I kiss his chest hearing him let out a small gasp

“Yeah...ummm...you too” he squirms a bit and I think to myself that I made him uncomfortable and my heart sinks. I lay there listening to his heart beating until I fall asleep. I wake up realizing during our sleep we've changed positions. I'm now on my back and Steve is laying on my chest. My boob in a firm grip and his leg over my hips. He's slowly grinding against my leg in his sleep. Again I feel he's probably dreaming something very nice. He's hard and ready against my hip, rubbing himself against me. I moan quietly, why is he doing this to me. I know it's not doing me any good, and I feel bad for wanting him so bad. But I wiggle out of my pyjama bottoms and I unbutton my top. I turn on my side so my backside is flush against Steve's body. His hand now grabbing my bare chest. He's starting to wake up I can tell by his breathing. I feel him tensing

“No Steve, we both apparently need this. Don't go all chivalrous on me, just please” I say felling so bad for begging like this. Takes him like a second to realize I'm completely naked from the waist down. He lets out a long deep breath and he tugs at his bottoms pulling then down. He taps my leg, I lift it and he slides in to me without hesitation. It feels so good being filled by him. I lean back and I grab his hair as he plays with my nipples and kisses my neck. He's breathing heavy in to my ear, groaning quietly

“Fuck you feel so good” the pace is slow and so good. Deep thrusts hitting just the right spot inside of me. Steve moves his hand down and starts circling my clit as he fucks me. “Come on me babe, please come on me I wanna feel you squeeze every last drop out of me” he growls in my ear. I grab his hair tighter, hos other hand coming up underneath me grabbing my boos again pinching my nipples, teasing them. He keeps kissing my neck, letting hos tongue play down it. I feel myself closing in to the inevitable “That's it babe, I can feel you're getting closer. God you feel so amazing, please let go now. I'm so close I wanna come with you babe” he purrs sending me straight to heaven

“Fuuuuuck Steeeeeve... Oh my gooood yes yes yes” I groan as the orgasm takes me and I feel him pushing in one last time before he releases his warm seed into me.

“Fuck Em... Fuuuuuck” he growls as he finishes.

There's full silence except our combined breathing. Until...

“Why does this keep happening?” Steve's voice breaks the silence

“Keep happening? I would have assumed because we want it to? Otherwise you need to win an Oscar for your excellent acting” I say feeling anger bubbling to the surface

“But do we though? Or is it just a carnal need?” Steve says quietly

“I think you need to leave now Steve” I can't any more... I just can't and I do not want to become angry with him over this. I want to keep this friendship but at this very moment I can't have him near me. He just breaks me apart

“What? Emma... I”

“Leave... please” I say back still turned to him “I'll get by without you. Go have your own life back. We'll talk”

“But... why?”

“STEVE!” I raise my voice enough for him to realize I am in fact serious. He gets out of bed and I hear him get dressed.

“I'll come pick my stuff up later tonight then? Do you still need a ride at lunch?” he says

“I'll let you know.” I can't look at him, my heart it shattered into a million tiny pieces. If I look I'll cry and then I might not be able to stop without begging him to be with me even if he doesn't want to. I hear him leave and I begin to shed silent tears until I fall back asleep.

I wake up around 10, feeling like I'm going to be sick. I take a few deeps breaths telling myself it's only because of Steve. It'll pass, just like every other time this has happened to me. Unrequited love sucks. I get out of bed and I get dressed. Go down in to the kitchen and make myself something to eat. I pack a bag with a sandwich and some fruit and I put my shoes and jacket on. Oh right I need to think if I want Steve to pick me up... If I make it there on my own I will be tired I know this. I go in to the office and I call the school. Letting the woman on the other end know that I want her to tell Steve he's to pick me up on his lunch break. I go to the kitchen and I make another sandwich and bring that along for Steve. I might be upset with him but I'm still going to make sure he eats something for lunch. I go outside, the weather is getting chillier now that October's come. It's been 5 months now, nothing is easier, and still everything is. I still miss Eddie every second of every day. But I can at least manage to exist now. The walk to the cemetery isn't long and it's not as strenuous as I thought. I get there and I sit down after stroking the headstone.

“Hey Freak, what's up... Remember me asking you to help me with the whole Steve crap... Yeah you suck!” I smile “that went to hell, did it again with him this morning. He fucking broke my heart so I kicked him out. Eddie...for fucks sake why am I so unlovable? What is it with me?” I'm crying now “and then on top of all this you're not here to make me feel better. Telling me your lame ass stories and bad jokes. I love him so fucking much Eddie and I can't tell him. I mean what was that? Asking why that kept happening? And when I said it was because we wanted to he said it was carnal need not want... I mean could he BE more uninterested? Well... on a brighter note though, me and Dustin are coming for you soon. We're meeting up this weekend to plan. But I feel ok now, if I can convince him we'll go on Saturday. You can't stay in that hellhole any longer...that's also breaking my heart”

I sit there and let my tears flow for a while until I hear footsteps on the gravel behind me. I look up and wipe my tears.

“”Hey man” Steve fist-bumps the stone and looks down at me “Hey Em” he says in a hushed voice

“Hey, thanks for this. The walk here was ok but I feel tired now.” I say not really able to look at him

“No problem you know that sweetie... I would do anything for you”

“Yeah, ok” I say and I get up “I made you a sandwich you wanna eat it here with Ed or you wanna take it to work?” I ask

“Uhmm... well If I eat it here I get your company so... wanna sit on the bench over there?” he says and points over to the bench not far from Eddies grave. I head over there and I sit down, taking out the packed sandwiches. I start eating, still not able to look at Steve because it hurts too bad. I give him the other one

“Thank you... Emma, why won't you look at me?” he sounds so small

“I can't... You just keep shitting all over me Steve. I can't have you around if you're going to be this way. The fact that you once again show such regret after having sex with me is fucking breaking my heart Steve. And since I want it and you're only fulfilling a carnal need then I want us to be apart. I can't have you that close if this is what I get, ok?” I look up and he's staring at his feet

“I... I promise I don't regret it I told you that”

“Fuck you Steve if that shit you said this morning isn't regret then what the fuck is it? I know I'm not the side chick here because you've basically lived with me for two months now. I think you might have been missed if there was someone else in the picture”

“There isn't anyone else... I just...”

“Yeah you have issues, don't we all. Well figure them out and come talk to me. Until then stay away. I can get home on my own” I say not entirely sure I can but I can't beg for a ride after that speech

“I'll drive you home, don't be silly. What if you're to exhausted along the way. C'mon... then I'll leave you alone, but promise you'll call if you need me. I am still here for you even if you don't think so” he says with a sad voice

“Good to know but the ball is in your court now. Deal with your issues Steve. But I will accept the ride home now” I say and I get up

“I will... and thanks for lunch it was good” he says and we go to the car and he drives me home. “Can I come over and get my stuff later?”

“Sure, I won't tell dad what happened. I'll just tell him I decided I needed to try being alone so you could have your life back.” I say

“Ok, well that's nice of you. But you don't have to lie for me. I know I screwed up...”

“Well... Thanks see you later” I say and I close the door and head inside. I hear him drive off and I break in to tears again. My dark thoughts are coming back, hovering in the back of my mind. Just one bad thing away from taking over again. I go in to the office and I call doctor Carters office. She answers and I ask if I can just talk for a few minutes, she agrees and I tell her everything that's happened during the last day. She asks me if I've told Steve how I feel? I tell her no, she tells me that the best thing is to do that. Even of that means a break it's better than this, this is too consuming and feeds the dark thoughts. She then proceeds to ask me if I've ever thought this might just be Steve thinking I don't want him so he's trying to keep me away the same way I'm now keeping him away. That we're both just being unsure what the other one feels and therefore making everything more confusing. She asks me to think about this until next weeks session and we'll talk about it more then. We hang up and I get stuck thinking about this. Steve feeling the same but not knowing how to say it so that's the reason he's acting a fool? Nah...doubtful. He's never seemed the guy to keep his feelings showed down and suppressed so why now?

I look at the time... I need to eat, I heat up food and sit down at the TV. But I can't keep my mind on the program. I just keep coming back to doctor Carters suggestion. Should I tell him or should I just leave it? What scares me the most is that if I tell him and he takes it badly and keeps his distance. Then I would have lost another friend in less than 6 months, THAT I can't handle. I'd rather be heartbroken but his friend than heartbroken and alone.

Dad comes home and we make dinner. He asks when Steve's going to be back and I tell him what I told Steve I was going to. He asks if I'm sure.

“Dad, I can't ask him to keep his life on hold like this. He needs to be able to do something other than work and hang around here. I promised I'd call if I needed him. So it's not like he's gone for good. But he just won't be here all the time. I need to learn how to sleep on my own. It is time dad”

“Yeah I guess you're right sweetheart. I just know how calm and happy you've seemed with Steve around. I have a good memory of what happened last time he left” he says

“Yeah me to dad, but then HE left without warning. This time I asked him to, there is a difference” he agrees to this. We have dinner the two of us and then he goes to watch TV. I decide to call Dustin. I go in to the office and sit down ant the desk dialling his number

“Hello, Henderson”

“Hey Mrs Henderson, it's Emma. Is Dustin around?”

“Hey Emma, yeah he's right here”

“Hey Em, what's up?” he says as he takes the phone from his mother

“Wanna come over Friday? We need to get this ball rolling.”

“Sure I can be there at like 6”

“Perfect, see you then”

“Yup, see ya”

We hang up, wish all phone calls could be that efficient I think to myself and smile. Good, now we're getting somewhere. I go out and join dad in front of the TV for while. There's a knock at the door around 8. Steve comes in looking kinda worse for wear

“Hey, am I disturbing you?”

“No not at all, we're just watching some TV” I say and this time I can look at him, still feels like someone is piercing my heart but I'll live

“You wanna join us or are you in a hurry?” dad asks and glances over at me I give him a small nod

“Well... I was actually thinking I'd get my stuff then I need to get back home. I have an extra early day tomorrow, the team's having a game out of town tomorrow night. I need to prepare for it before the actual school day starts” he says

“Oh, well good luck Steve. Kick their asses all the way into next week” dad says

“Want help with your things?” I ask

“Nah I'll be right down, I didn't bring that much to begin with” he says and heads up the stairs. My stomach churns, I feel like I want to be sick. Dad sees it

“Are you SURE about this honey? You don't look like you ever want him to leave, can't you just talk to him? I am sure he feels the same way about you...”

“No dad... he doesn't. That's part of why I asked him to leave, I can't have him be so close and not be able to...be with him. Just please dad I can't talk about this now. It hurts” I say

“Ok... I'm sorry sweetheart. I really am” dad squeezes my hand. Steve appears in the door carrying a bag of stuff.

“There, it's like I've never been there taking up space” he says trying to sound light and smiling. But I can see I did hurt his feelings asking him to leave. But what was I to do?

“You weren't taking up space Steve, you know that.” I say and I get up to give him a hug

“No, Em... Please don't, not right now” he says and he leaves out the door. I sit back down and I let out a deep sigh.

I can see dad in the corner of my eye wanting to say something but keeps him self from doing it. There's silence for maybe 10 minutes then dad clears his throat

“So, you want some tea or coffee or something sweetheart?” I know he asks only because he can't stand silences like this one.

“Sure dad, some tea would be nice. I think I'll head off to bed soon enough, it's been a long day” I say and smile at him

He comes back with a cup of tea each and we watch TV, making small talk about the program. Then I head up to bed. It's cold and empty without Steve in it. But I will have to learn to deal with this loneliness. Some time around 4 in the morning I finally doze off to sleep.

The following days are pretty much the same, I wake up, prepare my foos for the day. I walk to see Eddie. Walking is getting easier and by Thursday I make the trip back and forth from the cemetery without having to stop to catch my breath. Yes, I can do this on Saturday. I can go find Eddie and bring him home. Friday rolls around and I can't wait for evening. Just around 6 there's a knock at the door and Dustin comes in. I hear him as dad opens the door

“Hey Mr Lundberg, nice to see you”

“Hey Dustin, good to see you to. Emma's in the living room.” I know dad is planning on doing some work in his office tonight so he won't bother us.

“Emma! How's everything?” Dustin smiles at me

“Hey, well... Ok I guess. Hopefully a lot better by tomorrow...” I smile at him

“Yeah, we doin' this then? You're sure you can handle it? I mean if we can find a way in, and IF we find him there's really no way of knowing what we'll find. I can't have you disappearing on me in there” he sounds concerned

“Yeah, I mean I understand that whatever we find might be...gruesome. But I'd rather find what's left of him and being able to bring that back to his grave than living with the idea of him in there forever... That's what I can't deal with.” I say

“Then that makes two of us. I mean...not to rude or anything. I mean I love that you want me to help, but shouldn't we have someone else along as well... someone but me that's been in there before. Like Nancy or Robin...or Steve” he asks cautiously

“No! Steve has no interest in trying to find a way in again, Nancy and Robin will just try to stop me. I came to you because that first day in the hospital I could see it in your eyes that you want this as much as I do. Tell me I'm wrong?” I say

“Nope, absolutely correct. I want to do this, just that they've all experienced...the things in there that might wanna eat us. I've just beaten off some bats with a spear...” he says

“You're doubting yourself man, please don't do that. I would have never asked you if I didn't have complete faith that you could handle yourself Dustin” I say and I smile at him giving his knee a reassuring pat

“Thanks Em, well... ok so. You wanna do this tomorrow I guess? Should we leave first thing in the morning? I mean we'd have to get to what's left of the trailer park first of all.” he says

“Yeah I think first thing is good....then we'll have all day. I'm going to have dad drive me there, pretence that I need to see it to help with the demons. Therapist's suggestion. Then I'll say I've asked Steve to come pick me up later. It's easier to say I'm sorry later on than tell him what I'm doing before I do it.”

“Sure, sure... I can take my bike there. So meet at like what 9? Seems like a reasonable hour for you to be there? Any earlier might seem strange?” he says

“Yeah 9 is good. I'll pack something for us to eat.”

We sit there planning for a good 2 hours before we hear dad heading towards us and we have to change the subject. But it feels good, feels like we've covered all our bases. Dustin stays for a little longer then he heads home and I tell dad about my plans

“So I had another talk with doctor Carter today, she feels I need to start dealing with the places I've been avoiding due to memories. Like g there and tell Eddie what I feel in that moment. So tomorrow morning I would like to have a ride dad.”

“Ok, I guess I can manage” he smiles “where to?”

“The trailer park” I say and he stares at me

“But there's nothing left of it sweetheart...wouldn't that upset you?”

“It might but it might also help me. The doc thinks that me avoiding the places I associate most with Eddie is stopping me from reaching my goals. I need to face the fear of seeing what happened to his home. I've already spoken to Steve, if you drive me there say at 9 he's picking me up at 12 and we're having lunch.” I look over at dad, he's thinking this through I can see it

“Ok...well it sounds like a good idea. And if this woman thinks it might help I guess I have no reason to say no. But why that early?” he asks

“Well... I found out they're doing some digging out there next week so come Sunday they'll be fencing it off. And I don't want to risk them starting early and beginning the fencing tomorrow. So if I go early and they come there I might have had a small amount of time to myself where I can yell at Eddie for leaving me” I smile

“Oh... well ok then. And Steve is for sure picking you up then?” he asks

“Yes dad, he is. I think I need to talk to him so it's perfect. Well I'm going to bed then, see you in the morning. Love you, night” I say and kiss his cheek

“Love you to honey, sleep tight” he says and I head off to bed. I look out the window as I lay there missing Steve's body next to mine. I have slept these 2 nights without him but I haven't slept well. I hope this night will be better ´, I need to be rested for the trek tomorrow.

“Ed, my best freak... I'll be there tomorrow, hang on one more night ok?” I say out loud to the dark skies outside. I try to get comfortable, but my mind is racing. I turn and I pick up the phone

“What...ehmm...hello?” oh fuck I woke him up

“Hey”

“Emma? Did something happen?” Steve is wide awake now

“Nah...just... I'm sorry Steve, I'm just so sorry I hurt your feelings. I couldn't sleep because I hadn't said that to you. And...you know if something happens to either one of us and I never said it... Well that's all. Go back to sleep we can talk some other day. I just needed to calm my mind...and hear your voice” I say

“Emma... What are you talking about, something happening? And I'm sorry to, for being the way I was with you. I am trying to get my mind straight about this so I can finally talk to you. But...are you ok? Or do you need me to come over?” he asks sleepily

“No Steve, I'm ok. Feels better just hearing your voice. Good night sweetie” I say and I hang up. It actually calmed my mind, I didn't tell him straight out what I was doing but I kind of did hint at it. Hopefully he won''t ever have to worry about it. We'll get in, find Eddies body and get back out. Then it's too late to be angry with me... I try to justify lying to dad like I did with this logic. I fall asleep eventually.

The next day I wake up early, I head down stairs and I male some sandwiches before dad comes down and starts asking why I'm bringing that much food. I pack it in my backpack along with a blanket, a flash light, one of dads big hunting knives he got from his dad when he died and I sneak in to dads office and take the gun I know he keeps in his desk. There I should be set if there's anything left in there wanting to hurt us.

I make coffee and I sit down at the table just in time for dad to come downstairs.

“Oh hey honey you're up early” he kisses my forehead

“Yeah I couldn't sleep, guess I'm a little nervous seeing the place” I say which isn't a lie, just didn't specify WHAT place I was talking about.

“Yeah...are you 100% sure you wanna do this today?” he asks

“Yeah it has to be today, you know with the digging later on I have no idea when I'll get the chance again. And I'll be careful I know it's a crater there now. Nancy told me” I say

“Ok, lets have coffee then and I'll drive you there.” he sighs

We finish the coffee talking a bit about what I wanna say to Eddie once I get there. We head out to the car and we leave for Forest Hills, or what's left of it. Dad drops me off where the road leads in to the remains of the trailer park. I wave at him and I start walking. There is a silence in the area that doesn't feel natural. No birds, no trees blowing in the wind. Nothing like that. I go around the bend and it appears in front of me. A big crater, debris from trailers all over. But there is one trailer still standing...only one. And it's the one I was most hoping to see. But it will be very difficult getting to it I can see that. But I am hellbent on doing this so fuck that I'll get to it if I have to crawl all the way on my hands and knees. I'm a little early so I sit down on a rock facing the area and I wait for Dustin to arrive.

Steve's pov

There is something Emma isn't telling me. I have my suspicions, but I pray that I'm wrong. She wouldn't be that stupid, would she? Ever since she called me last night I've had this nagging feeling in my gut telling me I have to go over there and see if she's ok.

I get in the car and I drive over there, might be early but Martin is usually up at this time. I knock on the door, it opens I see Martin staring at me

“Steve? What are you doing here?”

“Hey Martin, is Emma up yet?”

“No, she had a thing she was doing for therapy, I dropped her off like 30 minutes ago, and she said you were picking her up there at 12 and you guys we're having lunch after. Steve? What's going on?” he's worried now and so am I

“Where did you drop her off?” I know the answer before he says it

“At the trailer park, her doctor thought she needed to face the places she associated most with Eddie. That it would help. Steve was she lying to me?”

“I'm afraid so... But I'll get her. I think this has a lot to do with my behaviour not just Eddie's death. I'll bring her back safe Martin. But in case she's changed her mind, and I pray to god she does, and she comes home you better stay put.” I tell him

“Ok... what do you think she's really doing Steve?” Martin is pale now

“I think she's stupid enough to go look for Eddies remains. She know where he died, Dustin told her that” Why lie to the poor man

“Dustin was here last night, I overheard them talking about something... I don't know something was upside down... I didn't catch it all.” he says and my heart sinks, fuck Dustin is in on this to? Then there is a slight possibility they'll get in there if the gate is still there. I need to go to Dustin's and see if he's at home. He might have just told her about the gate never imagining her actually going. While I'm standing there thinking Martin has gone in to his office, but now he's running out looking terrified

“My gun and my hunting knife, they're both gone... Steve what is she up to?” he's panicking

“Ok... Martin I need you to really listen to me now ok. I haven't much time I need to go to Dustin and see if he's gone with her. Ok, so everything I'm about to tell you is true ok how ever unbelievable it may sound. I will give Nancy a call and she can come tell you in detail ok?”

“Ok?” Martin is staring at me. We sit down in the kitchen and I tell him in short what happened that day Eddie died. I show him my scars from the bats. “So she's gotten it in her head to go in there to this place to find what might be left of Eddie? And she's gotten Dustin to come? Is this what you're telling me?” Martin sighs

“Yeah, Dustin has this guilt for leaving Eddie there. We all know it. He's been trying to get us to go ever since it happened. I think now that Emma brought the idea to him he had no one to stop him. I need to go now, but first I'm going to call Nancy and get her here.” I say and I pick up the phone. Nancy answers and I give her a quick explanation “She'll be right here, she can tell you all you need or want to know about this. She's been dealing with it since the beginning just like me” I say to Martin and I rush out the door and in to the car. I drive off to Dustin's house hoping he'll be there and that Emma was actually telling Martin the truth. I see Dustin's mum outside looking worried

“Hey Mrs Henderson, is Dustin home?” I say

“Oh Steve, I think he's going to do something stupid... He came home last night from visiting Emma, he packed a bag with a flash light, ropes, his knife and I saw him take out that spear thing he made. And now he's gone. Is he going where I think he's going Steve?” she's borderline hysterical

“I'm afraid so, and he's got Emma with him. I'm gonna go and try to reach them before they do something truly stupid, ok? I'll get him home safe, I promise” I say and she's nodding her head crying. I get in the car again and I break every speed limit there is getting to the trailer park. I have to get there in time, I HAVE TO! Turn in to what's left of the trailer park and I see them, half way across the crater headed to... what the hell it's still standing? I run out of the car getting up on to the edge and I scream

“EMMA! PLEASE WAIT!” I try to get down there as fast as I can without falling and hurting myself. I jump, I run, I climb just to get to them

“Steve? What are you doing here? How did you know?” She sounds both surprised and angry at the same time.

“Martin... I came over, had a feeling you needed me... Please, don't do this...for the love of god don't. AND YOU!” I lash out at Dustin “What the fuck were you thinking? Your mum's hysterical because you packed that stuff and took that fucking spear out. What were you hoping to achieve here?”

“I have to get him back Steve, I should have never left him ok... I shouldn't have. I can't fucking sleep Steve, the guilt is eating me up from the inside. And since none of you guys wanna do this I had to take who ever I could, luckily Emma needs this as much as I do. So go home Steve, leave us to this.” Dustin glares at me

“Steve listen to him, leave... If you can't support us then leave. I can barley fucking exist knowing he's in there, that his grave is empty. I can't it's all consuming every day. The only time I didn't think of this was when I was with you and when you made it so abundantly clear that that was a mistake to you , well this is it then. I need peace of mind Steve... or I won't make it. The darkness is there...all the time threatening to take over. I have to do this... There isn't one reason for me not to.” I look at Emma... what the fuck have I done

“What if you get hurt? Huh? Killed...stuck in there unable to escape? What then? What about all the people you'd be hurting? What about your mum Dustin? What about Mike, Will and Lucas? And Emma... please... Em what about Martin... What about me?” I plead with them

“What about you Steve? What about YOU? Twice you've fucked me then thrown me away like garbage, breaking my heart in to a million little pieces. It's not helping Steve... I need to do this for ME. If this is it for me, if I don't make it back, yeah dad will be sad for a while. I know you'll tell him I died for something I believed in if that's the case. It breaks my heart saying this Steve, I don't want to hurt dad like that. But I can't go on without at least trying. I can't for Eddie I can't. So I ask you again Steve... WHAT ABOUT YOU?” she's angry now, angry I'm trying to stop her. Angry that I can't understand her reasoning. But all I can feel now is fear, the fear that I am losing her, I can't be a considerate chicken any longer

“BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU! OK? Because I've loved you for years...YEARS Emma. But I couldn't compete with Eddie, I still can't compete with Eddie. All I ever wanted was to be yours all the time, wanted to love you in every sense of the word. But he's always there between us, I can't compete with the love you have for him. So I tried sooo fucking hard to stay away, to not let myself be blinded by you and how amazing you are. But I got caught in my feelings for you, twice these last months we've been together and both times has been been as a direct result of you dealing with losing Ed. I... I don't have the strength to be around you and not love you but I can never be him however much I try I just can't and it's killing me. That's the weirdness, that's the thing you took for regret... ok? It's just me not knowing how to compete with a dead man. I want you, I need you... I love you so much. Fuck I fell for you that first day you came in to Scoops, you were so weird and cute and you weren't intimidated by me. You were just being you...and then that day when I came over when you were hurt...that was it you had me. From that moment I was yours, but you were Eddies... I just wasn't him.” there, I did it. I told her

Back to Emma

Is this reality? Did he just say what I thought he said... I stare, I can't speak. My mind is racing, a thousand different things fighting to take centre stage.

“You think you had to COMPETE with Eddie over me? Eddie? My best friend? I never ever loved him like anything but a brother. I... why the fuck would you feel a need to compete with that? He was my person, my ride or die, my rotten soldier. But he could never be what I wanted you to be. I never ever had those feeling for him, do I love him yes. But as you'd love a brother or a best friend. I mean it's like you, you love Robin. She's you person am I right?” he nods “Yeah...you get it now? Eddie is my Robin.” I can't make this any clearer for him. My heart is absolutely singing but I can't take my mind off how close we are to finding out if the gate is still there. Steve is right next to me now, just looking at me tears in his eyes. I reach up and I kiss him with every bit of the emotions I have for him “Steve Harrington... I love you too ok? But I still need to do this, so either you find a way to be ok with it or you need to leave.” I kiss him again and again

“Fucking hell this took you two an unnecessary long time...” we hear Dustin sigh

“You knew?” Steve sounds surprised

“Dude... We've all known for years. You can't hide a feeling any better than I could hide an elephant in my kitchen. None of us understood why nothing ever seemed to happen between you two though... But I agree with her, be ok with it or leave Steve. We're wasting time.” he points towards Eddies trailer on the ledge above us

Steve looks down at me “You love me? That for real?” he asks me

“Steve I'd be a cruel person if I said that to you without meaning it. You think of me as cruel?” I smile

“No, not at all... Ok... I'll go with Dustin and you wait here. I WILL NOT argue this with you. We enter that trailer and you sit your pretty perfect ass down and you wait. I've been in there I know what we might find, Dustin has some idea of what's in there. You, not a clue and I need to keep it that way.” he looks at me with a stern look. I want to argue with him, but he does have a point. “Once we're in there and we see if that gate's still there. We go in you give us a maximum of three hours. If we're not back you take my car and you get Nancy and Robin and you tell them to gear up. Ok?” he says as we begin to make out way towards the slope leading up the last bit to the lonely trailer

“Take your car? But I can't drive” I say that's where I got stuck

“I know you can, Martin told me you've been driving a little with him and that you were good. I know you can do it. 3 hours Emma, ok?”

“Ok, 3 hours then go get Robin and Nancy. I got it” I say

As we climb the last little bit I feel my stomach churn again, I haven't been here for 5 months, last time was the last time I saw him. We carefully open the door making sure the trailer is on solid ground. Steve enters first, then Dustin and lastly me. Every fibre in my body wants me to not go in there, not make myself relive the memories if this place and all the happy times I've spent here with the Munson men. I pull myself together and I step over the threshold, Steve and Dustin are standing in the middle of what was the living room staring up in to the ceiling.

“Fucking hell Henderson...it's still here” Steve is pale as a ghost as he's staring at the hole in the ceiling showing a dark twisted copy of the room we're standing in.

“Fuck man, I actually had my doubts after we killed Vecna it would be here. But I'm glad it is, gives us a fighting chance right” Dustin is also looking up in to the twisted world. I'm just having a hard time gripping all of this still. “I have a rope...we're gonna need a rope to get in and out” Dustin starts rummaging through his backpack. He finds the rope and he ties one end to the inside of the trailer door the other he ties to his jeans “Ok Steve hoist me up there” he says

“Why you first?” Steve asks

“You're taller than me, I can't get you up there. Once I'm in I'll tie the rope to that end and you can use it to get through.” Dustin says

“Hey you're not as dumb as I look” I say and I smile as I get the same confused look from them as I did from Eddie when I said that to him.

“Is it bad I don't know if she's insulting me or complimenting me?” Dustin says to Steve who just chuckles

“Just go with thank you dude. Think that's your safest option. But actually, smart idea Henderson. You ready?” he says

“Wait... take these... In case it takes time” I say and hand them the sandwiches I made

“Thank you babe” Steve smiles at me and leans in for a kiss. I purr against his lips, I like it when he calls me babe.

“Ok... I've said it before. You can make out with her later, lets go” Steve smiles at me and then he grabs Dustin by the waist and lifts him up towards the ceiling. I sit down on the floor next to the mattress. I watch Dustin disappear into the hole in the ceiling then falling down on the floor on the other side. He ties the rope to the kitchen counter then motions to Steve to climb through. He's not speaking seeing as they don't know who or what might be listening. Steve falls down on the other side and I stand up looking at them

“Remember, 3 hours from now. Love you” he says

“3 hours, and love you right back”

They disappear from my sight and my stomach forms a hard pit, I sit down on the mattress again. Looking at my watch and then at the ceiling. The wait has begun...

It doesn't take long. Maybe 20 minutes and I hear their voices again. They're getting attacked I think...or there's nothing left to bring back. I stand up and look in to the other world. Suddenly Steve appears

“Hey babe, miss me?” he smiles at me and the pit in my stomach disappears as fast as it appeared.

“Hi, of course I missed you. Did you find...anything?” I ask

“Could you move please, I'm sending Dustin through” Steve says and I move to the side. Dustin falls through the hole. He stands up and brushes himself off. He's been crying, gibe his back a stroke.

“You ok?” I ask

“Yeah, I'm ok...but you're gonna want to help me now. They say don't disrespect the dead so I guess just dropping him through would be bad?” he says looking up

“Dropping him?” I look up and I let out a cry. Standing there is Steve holding a body in his arms.

“I know, I know sweetheart. But please don't lose it now. I need you to help Dustin catch him ok?” Steve is looking right at me, I nod. I take a deep breath and me and Dustin position ourselves under the gate ready to catch the body as Steve climbs on a dresser to reach trough easier. The full weight of Eddies body hits us as he falls when he passes through the gate. We manage to not drop him and we move him over to the couch so that Steve won't fall on him when he comes back. Dustin goes back to make sure Steve gets back ok. I'm just sitting there staring at the face in front of me. He hasn't changed...not one bit. He's got dried up blood all over but other than that he looks like when I saw him last, a little paler maybe. I reach out and I put my hand on his cheek, he looks so peaceful.

“Steve...” I say in a hushed voice “Steve” a little louder “STEVE!”

“Sorry, yes what's wrong” he comes up to me

“Why isn't he cold Steve... He should be cold” I'm vibrating now

“We don't know how time works in the upside down babe. Maybe it's just been a day or something in there” he says

“No, no... Steve...” I let my shaking hand move to the side of his jaw, pressing my fingers in to the skin. I scream “HE FUCKING HAS A PULSE STEVE” then I pass out.

When I come to there's full chaos. Steve's trying to make sure I'm ok, Dustin is freaking out and I can't get up fast enough

“Steve for fucks sake he had a pulse I felt it” I groan

“Yeah, yeah we both felt it... He's...I think he's alive Em. But like Max in some kind of a coma”

“Yeah he's alive... And you wanted me to NOT go get him...” I feel so many things right now. I know none of them would have even had the slightest tiniest ounce of hope this could happen. I mean I know I didn't, I was fully set on finding maybe a body, maybe parts of him. Something to put in that grave. But not this, never ever this.

“I... I never expected. I'm sorry” Steve's crying now, Dustin is crying. Fuck now I'm crying

“I know Steve I know, god I didn't mean to sound so angry. Just...the shock Steve. We need to get going, we need to get him to the hospital” I tug at them both making them stand up. With joined effort we get Eddie out of the trailer. The old table is still half standing outside. We tip it over, put Eddie on it an then we use it as some kind of makeshift sled to get him over to the other side of the crater. We manage to get him in to Steves car and I sit down in the back with his head in my lap just stroking his hair in disbelief. I don't know how many speed limits Steve broke getting us to the hospital but I bet it was as Eddie wouls have said “All of them” We run inside, Steve carrying Eddie in his arms. The staff had seen us coming they meet us and then they take over. We give some bull story about being curious about the crater and finding him under the trailer like this. They ask if we know who he is

“His name is Edwars Munson” I say and they all look at me

“The boy who...they thought”

“Yeah him, we thought he died in the earthquake but apparently...” I motion at Eddie “not”

They rush him off to an examination room, telling us to stay put and they'll come get us when he was in a room. It takes about an hour then a nurse comes and tells us he's in a room if we wan to see him. We all hold hands as we go in to the room. He's on the bed looking like he''s asleep. They've cleaned him off and he looks like Eddie again. Dustin falls down on the floor. I sit down with him, I know exactly what's bothering him.

“Hey Dustin, c'mon. I would have left him for dead to you know.”

“But he died Em, I was there I held him and I saw him die” he's sobbing so bad

“Maybe he...kinda restarted when you left. Maybe his body came back for whatever reason. You couldn't have known Dustin. Please don't do this to yourself. He's here now, he has a chance. And if he doesn't make it, he's atleast home again.” I hug the bot on the floor tight as he sobs uncontrollably in my arms. Steve comes in

“I've called them all, told them to come to the hospital. That we needed them here. I think I might have scared them in to thinking one of you got hurt but it'll be worth it.” he says

“You called dad to?”

“He's with Nancy so I guess she won't be leaving without him” he's standing at the end of the bed looking at Eddie “Fuck man, welcome home” he puts a hand on Eddies foot and he smiles.

“Dustin, please come dit on the chair” I say and we help him off the floor. He sits in the chair next to Eddie, just staring at him crying.

“I'm sorry man, I'm sorry” he keeps whispering

We hear voices outside and we hurry out there. We see Robin, Nancy and dad coming down one side of the corridor from the other way Mike, Will and El. El is smiling widely

“Oh she knows” Steve whispers

“WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?” Robin is furious, I guess Nancy filled her in on the way

“Before the namecalling a hitting begins can we just calm ourselves and gather round please” Steve says in a calm voice

“Calm? CALM? Where the fuck is Dustin? What happened to him?”

“Robin, please. He's in there but not for the reason you think.” I say and Robin looks at me then at Steve. Down at our hands which we're holding tight

“Ok... So he's ok and you two finally figured out you're made for eachother? That's why we're here? Seriously?” she scoffs

“Not just that... Ok so this might be a bit much to handle, just remember to breath thruogh the shock. Not like this one, she fainted” Steve says and kisses the top of my head

“Fainted? What happened to you?” dad sounds worried

“Not a thing, or well. You'll se” I say

We open the door and we go in first. The others gather in the room and the silence can be cut with a knife.

“That's why I couldn't see him, he's also hiding” El's voice breaks the silence

Then chaos, crying and also... Mike passing out. I'm glad I wasn't the only one I think. Dad is the color of ash, he's staring at the bed.

“Is he? For five months? That's impossible...” he sits down on the other chair in the room. Nancy and Robin are crying, Will tries to wake Mike up and El has sat down next to Eddie with closed eyes

“I can feel him stronger now, he's more like Max now. When he was there...he was just like a shadow” she says in a weird hollow voice

“She's looking for him” Steve whispers

“I thought you said she refused to look for him?” I whisper back

“Apparently she did once at least” he takes my hand “Come with me? Let them say hello on their own” he says.

We go out in to the corridore and sit down at the very end.

“So... We've been stupid, haven't we?” Steve smiles at me

“Yeah” I smile back “we have. One might even suspect us of being stubborn or someting” I say with a giggle

“Right? But it's out there now... I love you, very very much Emma. I never wanted to hurt you but I just wasn't sure if the dude in there would always outshine me and make me second. I'm so sorry I didn't just talk to you”

“Hey, I didn't 'fess up either so. Both Nance and Rob have been telling me a long time to tell you how I felt. Before them, Eddie told me. I was scared you only saw me as a casual hook-up and not someone you'd actually wanna be seen with. One of the last things Eddie told me back in the trailer before you left was that I should give you a chance when you guys came back, because he thought I'd fall in love with you if I gave you a chance. I tried so hard not to Steve, I've been hurt so bad in the past. But he was right, didn't take long for me to relaize you were infect the guy for me. Fuck it hurt believing you didn't like me back. Hurt even more thinking you regretted being with me” I have to be honest with him

“I have no words that can tell you how bad that made me feel, but I just wasn't ready to tell you that I felt like a second choice for you. But I guess I'm going to have to start showing you how much I never regretted the sex. Like every day from now on” he smiles and leans in for a kiss “because THAT babe is something you're amazing at and I won't leave you alone now that I know you're all mine”

We see a doctor coming up towards us, we straighten ourselves and greet him

“Hello, I suppose you two are the ones to talk to about Edward Munson seeing as you're the ones who brought him in?” he says

“Yes, I guess. We couldn't reach his uncle right now, I think he might be at work. I'll try calling him again later” Steve says

"Well, I can say I've never seen something like this myself nor have I heard of it and I've been a doctor for 40 years now. But you're telling me Mr Munson supposedly died in the earthquake and now you came to the remains of the trailer park and you found him underneath the only trailer still standing? Well... I can tell you this much, he couldn't have died. You don't come back from that on your own. But I could possibly believe he slipped in to a very deep coma. To the untrained eye he looks dead still. But how the hell, excuse my language, he survived for five months I can not understand OR explain. He might wake up or he might not. His situation is pretty much the same as Ms Mayfield's. From now on I suppose it's all just a waiting game for you all." he shakes his head in disbelief and walks away

"You know what the worst part is?" I look at Steve

"No, what?" he says stroking my back gently

"I don't think we should tell Wayne, not until we know the outcome of this... It's like a sudden realisation to me, we could end up losing Eddie again. I couldn't stand doing that to Wayne." I say

"Not tell him we found Eddie now you mean?" Steve ponders this for a minute "you know babe, I think you're right. But... I have to ask...will YOU be ok if we lose him again?"

"I've spent every day now for five, very soon six months grieving Eddie, I've dealt with every emotion under the sun. I think... if he doesn't make it, this time I will have the chance to say good bye to him and that would help me. And now I have you, I really have you" I put my hands on Steve's face and I look him deep in the eyes. "I love you...and I will keep loving youfor as long as you'll have me. Maybe I'll be in a dark place some days but I know you can get me out of it. Why were we so stupid Steve?"

"That is a fucking good question... Pair of stubborn asses the both of ya... Guess you finally caved? You told him and he told you? I've HATED having to keep both your secrets for this long... I know Nancy feels the same" Robin is standing a few feet away looking at us with a smirk on her lips

"OUR secrets? You've known all along that she loved me? For fucks sake Rob, you could have spared me a lot of heartache" Steve mutters at her

"Yeah? Think it was my thing to tell? Why didn't I just tell her you loved HER instead then? Could have just as easily done that huh? Would you have been happy with me if I broke your confidence?" she's staring him down "STUBBORN" she practically yells at us and stomps off

"Wow... Ok...so we've learned that we're stubborn asses today. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Steve. But I just thought you had no interest in me other than as maybe a friend with benefits. I didn't want to risk the heartbreak, been through that too many times to be a fan... Eddie said I was too hard on myself, that if you didn't like me back you we're a fucking idiot and not worth my time anyway. Guess he was right...fuck... I didn't get to win an argument with him after all" I chuckle

Steve beams at me and leans in and gives me a kiss

"You know... Never thought Munson was that good at telling peoples feelings. I heard him mumble to himself once, while we were wandering the woods in the Upside down 'I knew it, I was right. She won't have her heart broken this time' I didn't pay enough attention then to figure out who he was talking about. But I guess he figured out I loved you." Steve looks at me my heart sings I'm so happy.

Days turn in to weeks and Steve is practically living with me and dad. We're all just waiting to see if one or both of our friends will ever wake up. We take turns staying by their side at the hospital. A couple of weeks before Christmas the phone rings

"Hello this is Emma" all I hear at the other end is a squeal "hello?"

"You gotta come here" it's Lucas

"Be there as soon as I can" I throw the receiver down and I run in to the living room "We gotta get to the hospital NOW" Steve and dad look at me shocked "that was Lucas...he squealed...can't say if it's a good one or a bad one but we gotta GO" they both fly off the couch and we head for the car. I think dad almost killed the car going to the hospital. We run up to the ward and in to Max's room. There she is, leaning against her pillows...awake! There's tears and laughter all around.

"Max...girlie what an amazing Christmas present! Fuck I've missed you!" Steve is crying tears of joy hugging her so I think he might crush her. I have to pull him away reminding him she's fragile after this long in a coma "Sorry" he blushesMax smiles softly "He'll be here soon. You should go to him" she looks at me and takes my hand

"He? What are you..." I stare at her, holding my breath until Steve pokes me "he's... coming?" I turn and look out the open door to the room on the other side of the corridor.

"Yes, I've seen him all along. We hid together" her voice is strained as she looks at me "go now" she says and I think I make the distance between her room and Eddies in one jump. I throw myself down on the chair next to the bed and I take his hand and I wait, tears streaming down my cheeks. Steve comes in and stands behind me leaning down kissing my head. I look up at him and I kiss him

"Well...see weirdo why do you doubt me all the time" a hushed voice from the bed says

We pull apart and stare at the bed. Eddie's eyes are barely open but his smile is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I scream and I throw myself up into the bed holding him for dear life. I cry and I cry and I cry

"What the fuck's her problem? You mean to her already Harrington, I'll kick your ass you know that right?"

Steve's just laughing through his tears "Fuck we've missed you man!"

"Missed me? Wait... what happened? The last thing I remember is fighting those fucking bats, they bit me bad. I think I passed out? Did I?" Eddie sounds confused

Dad comes in and he puts a hand on Eddies head "Good to have you back son, I'd say you should sit down for this but I guess you're fine where you are. Ok so Eddie... There's no real easy way to say this so I'm just going to rip the band aid ok?"

"Ok Martin, do it..." Eddie holds me while I keep crying

"It's Christmas Eddie... Dustin had to leave you because you we're so badly injured you slipped in to a coma in his arms and he thought you died. We had a funeral for you. Emma's been a wreck for several months trying to deal with you leaving her. So this is...well this is happy tears Eddie, just a lot of them" dad looks at the boy in the bed who's staring at him like he's grown five heads

"Christmas? But it was May when we... I was there...how did I make it? MAX! Where's Max she was there with me...is she?" he tries to get up but with me on top of him and Steve holding him back he can't

"She's ok, she just woke up as well. Vecna broke her...but she found her way back. She said you've been hiding together" Steve sniffles and wipes his tears. Dad smiles and says he's going to check on the others.

The doctor comes in and stares at Eddie, and me of course.

"Ahem...Ms Lundberg would you please get off my patient so I can examine him" he says "Mr Munson, I have to tell you I'd almost given up hope of the two of you ever waking up. I thought Mr Henderson was trying to prank me when he came barging in my office yelling for me to come because the both of you woke up. But here you are." he smiles at Eddie as Steve helps me off the bed. He examines Eddie thoroughly saying he's going to need x-rays to make sure all is ok on the inside as well. A nurse comes in and takes his blood pressure, temperature and draws blood. Eddie is quiet the whole time until they all leave.

"So Dustin's ok?" he says quietly "must have been hard on the kid" he looks at Steve

"Yeah...it's thanks to him and this moron right here you're even back here. They went to find a gate so they could bring your body back. Had to forcibly make her stay as I came with Dustin in to find you. Didn't think she needed that after the ordeal she'd been through" Steve holds me and kisses my head

"Good thinking there Harrington, so you've grown a brain while I was gone?" Eddie smiles, still a tease through and through I think and I crawl up in the bed again. I still haven't said a word to Eddie. It's like my brain is back in that mute phase I had in the beginning when I thought he was dead. Eddie wraps his arms around me and looks at Steve.

"Since when doesn't she speak?" he sounds worried

"Well...the first 4 months after you were...gone she didn't speak, not one word after graduation... I think it's shock right now. She'll speak soon I guess. Tell you all about how stupid I've been" Steve smiles at me and Eddie beams

"So you guys DID end up together after all. I was right? Congrats man, you've found yourself a prize here" he hugs me tight "and you...yeah you found that one, you could do better but I'll let it slide since you've been temporary insane from missing me" he whispers at me. Steve chuckles

"Yeah we did end up together, took time though. I was being a moron thinking I couldn't compete with you so I pulled away from her"

"You can't compete with me Steve, there's only ever gonna be one freak in her life and that's me. But you can have her for everything else" Eddie holds out his fist "put it here man"

Steve tears up "I've been to your grave every day giving you a fist-bump. Fuck you can have as many as you want! Missed you so much man" he bumps his fist in to Eddies and then he leans over the bed and gives him a hug

Dad comes in again carrying a phone with him. He plugs it in to the wall and then he says "Ok, Steve should you or I call him?" Steve sighs

"Martin I don't know if I'll be able to hold it together telling him"

"Ehmm...call who?" Eddie looks from one to another

"Wayne" I whimper "I want to call Wayne" I sit up next to Eddie and I smile at him "Fuck you freak for doing this to me" then I give him a wet kiss right in the middle of his forehead

"There's my weirdo, I know you love me and all but save the slobbering for Harrington ok" he dramatically wipes his forehead "but Wayne? He...doesn't know? Where is he, at work?" fuck we'd forgotten Eddie doesn't know about he rest

"Dad, Steve could you...tell him while I call please" they nod and they sit down next to the bed and start telling Eddie everything that's been going on since he disappeared. Eddie's eye fill with tears as he hears about it all

I dial the number on the piece of paper in front of me

"Munson"

"Hey Wayne, it's Emma" there is a long silence on the other end "hello? Wayne, you there?"

"Sweetheart, it's really you? Oh my god how lovely to hear from you. How you been?"

"Well... I've not been ok. I guess you saw that in the beginning, took me about five months to snap out of it. Ehm... Wayne are you sitting down?" I say and my voice is shaking

"No...why? Is something wrong?"

"Would you please sit down, I have something to tell you" I say

"Ok...sitting down now. You're making me worried here sweetie"

"It's not worrying news Wayne... it's really the best Christmas present any of us will ever get... Uhmm... so 2 months ago me and Dustin set our minds on something..." I begin

"No...Emma. You didn't, please tell me you didn't try to get in there to find him"

"We...did...and Wayne... we found him" I say and there's muffled crying on the other end "Wayne... listen to me now ok?"

"Ok" he sniffles

"He was alive Wayne, in a deep coma but alive" I think that the silence could probably be cut with a knife it's so dense "Wayne? Breath sweetie so I know you're still with me"

"Emma...please don't make sick jokes like this. It's cruel" he cries I look over at the bed and I get up and I hand Eddie the phone

"Wayne... Hey man" we can all hear the scream from the other end. Eddies shocked face says it all as he hands the phone back to me

"Wayne...it isn't a joke. He woke up today, him and Max both woke up today. I think you need to take some time off work and come back here for Christmas don't you?" there's loud sobbing on the other end. I wait for it to subside a bit "Wayne sweetie, you know I would have never called and told you something like this if it weren't true"

"Put him back on" Wayne sobs and I hand Eddie the phone and motion to the other's that we should leave and give them their privacy.

If someone would have told me at the beginning of June that by Christmas I would be in a perfect relationship with Steve, Max would have woken up AND that we'd find Eddie alive I would have probably thrown a massive fit and died on the spot from getting to angry with them I'd have a heart attack...

But you know what, miracles do happen. Even to weirdos and freaks

Authors note!

Hey guys... I know this ended a bit over the top happy, but hey we all whished for Eddie to survive. This is me trying to manifest for season 5 😉

Thanks for reading

[alldayangst]

lovebug (Tom Holland)

GIF is from gaybuckybarnes here on Tumblr. You can access my masterlist here. This was written for @worldoftom’s lolbrosgetsicktoochallenge. The prompt I had was: ‘Tom self diagnoses himself as sick. He’s got all the symptoms. He’s speechless, over the edge and just breathless. He never thought he’d get hit by the ‘love-bug’ again’. Inspired by the song Lovebug by Jonas Brothers!

A/N: Y/N is an assistant director on Cherry in this fic. This has a lot of Cherry (the movie) references but most are explained if you haven’t seen the film. Such as, it was filmed in Cleveland and Morocco, directed by Joe and Anthony Russo. Some scenes in this fic borrow from the movie & I’ve linked clips from the film if you’d like to listen/watch along. WC: 4K.

“Yeah, Mum, I’ve just got like the sorest throat at the moment.” Nikki’s picture cuts in and out on a scrambled screen on the South side of London, her husband’s hand periodically reaching out for her, rubbing her shoulder, then leaving the frame almost as quickly as it came in. Even through the low quality, the pixels dashing about his screen, Tom can make out his mother’s brows knitting together and can’t remove the feeling of utter guilt when he sees her grow redder and redder out of anger, concern and confusion for her son. “But I’ve got Harry here with me.” Harry waves from behind his brother, his trusty mug swapped for a Phoenix Coffee Cup in his spare hand, just to get a taste of the States.

Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. He barely drinks coffee on the other side of the pond, and would bet good money that an at home PG Tips would beat America’s swankiest coffee joint any day. But now, he’s betrayed his usual routine and his body’s all out of whack and his throat is hoarse, he’s breathless even at times.

Harry shoots his mum a half smile to comfort her, but he doesn’t know what it's like to be a mother, and his and Tom’s mouth both form an ‘O’ when Nikki begins to type so hard her screen jolts and Tom swears she’s put a dent in it. “You know what? I’m going to give them a piece of my mind, Tom! They’re overworking you!” Nikki looks intensely to find her baby boy in drug-addled eyes and his jungle of curls on his newly shaven head. She guesses it becomes easier when Tom pushes his face halfway into the screen and pleads like the child he’ll always be to her, “Please, please Mum! I can’t have any days off. Under any circumstances, I need to finish this film!”

Tom turns to his younger brother for help. “Tell her, Harry!”

And as little brothers do best, Harry spills the beans as soon as Tom’s phone is in clutch. “Tom’s fallen in love with the first A.D., Y/N.”

Nikki immediately loses her frown, knowing how love can knock Tom off his feet and blow all the wind out of him. Tom’s father, Dom, re-enters the frame to match Nikki’s grin. He never misses an opportunity to tease. “Oo, caught a case of the love bug, have you?”

Harry has to whip the phone around to dodge Tom’s protesting arms reaching for it again. “Don’t listen to Harry. I’m not in love. I just like Y/N.”

“A lot.” Harry mutters. Tom’s family doesn’t budge any further, knowing how bad Tom was hurt after his last relationship. They weren't sure when the love bug would come back to bite him again. So after they all shared a knowing look, Harry handed Tom his phone back. “I’ll keep you updated. Bye, Mum.”

It all started five weeks ago. Tom, at 24, was beginning to feel like love was trudging up a high hill he couldn’t come down from, where every beat of heart was feeling like an ache on an open wound.  Tom had yet to meet a lover to prove distance makes the heart grow fonder, finding himself in six month long entanglements and illusions of love before things inevitably went sour.

He’d say, perhaps, you were the closest thing to the real deal. The problem was, he didn’t know if you liked him back.

“When life was beginning, I saw -”

“When life was-”

“When life was be-fuck!”

“When life was beginning, I saw you.”

Tom could make a picture book out of the day he first met you. He remembers how your hair looked that day, the speckles of genuinity in your eyes, how your ear-to-ear smile seemed to be a mirror because every time he saw you from then on, he brandished the same beam. He recalls how his eyes went low as he dropped his script to his lap and stared at your lips, so soft and kissable, as you repeated his words back to him: “When life was beginning, I saw you.” Then you chuckled softly as Tom waited patiently for his head and his heart to return to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m dyslexic. I have a bit of trouble reading.”

“It’s cool, I'm the first A.D. That’s what I’m here for.”

You rubbed your hands on the back of your trousers, your mic jostling in your back pocket as you attempted to rid yourself of your nervous, sweaty palms.

“I’m Y/N.” You reached out for a shake only for Tom to cough loudly into his own hand. 

“Fuck! I’m so sorry! That wasn’t me trying to get out of your handshake. I- I-.” Tom looked at his hand for it had failed him for the first time in his life. His hand that had helped him up during handstands, being his crutch through cartwheels and backflips, but had decidedly run out of luck to be on the receiving end of Tom’s monstrous cough impending a handshake with someone his eyes just couldn’t look away from.

You laugh again. Your laugh sounds like melody, Tom muses. Awestruck, he wishes he could play it again, repeat it like a radio hit and never wash himself of the feeling he got when he heard your laugh for the first time.

“It’s all good. I’ll see you around.” You disappear from his trailer, likely on a venture to your own, when Joe and Anthony block his view of you walking away.

Anthony and Joe take on the ghost of you in Tom’s room, “Tom! The man, the myth and the legend!” Joe comes behind him to rub his newly hairless head. “We’re so glad you agreed to do this movie!” 

“Bummed that you’re not coming to the Browns game tonight, though.” Anthony remarks, throwing a football at Joe who sets it in his lap.

“Harry and I, we’re British, mate. We play football with our feet.”

Joe doesn’t know it then, but his next words are the beginning of the end for Tom. He rubs on his football and looks Tom in his eye when he poses, “It’s a shame ‘cause the whole crew’s going. First day of filming celebrations.”

“The whole crew?”

Anthony mumbles an ‘mhm’ as he picks up a framed photo of Tom and RDJ sitting pretty on Tom’s dresser, posing like father and son.

Tom’s usually self assured when he’s on set, but he’s hesitant to say this next improvised line. His voice trails off as he speaks. “Including Y/N?”

“Y/N?” Joe queries, with a smile that’s half scary and half comforting, and the butterflies in Tom’s stomach are begging him not to fuck this up and suddenly every second a word is not spoken feels like hours have passed and he might have ruined things before they’ve even started, gosh he just met you and-

Tom tries to play it cool. “I don’t- they’re cool.” Tom coughs again. “I mean, I don’t really know them but Y/N seems cool I guess.”

Anthony and Joe smile at each other, scrambling to exit. “Whole crew’s going, baby!” Joe beams.

“Please don’t tell Y/N I asked!” Tom shouts before they’re out of earshot.

“Yeah, yeah. Anthony, go long!”

A few hours later, Tom was sitting next to an unamused Harry, you on his left, foam fingers pointing every which way. 

“Are you a big football fan?” Tom asked, imposter syndrome creeping up on him. He had the best seats in the house, but knew not a thing about this sport he’d come down to watch. Meanwhile, crew and crowd alike sat themselves around you guys, cheering leaving throats raw for days to come and a tussle for a foam finger between Joe and Anthony leading to hundreds of sugary popcorn shells scattered on the stadium floor.

“I mean, I wouldn’t ever turn down the option to look at Odell Beckham Jr. Are you?” you replied.

Tom looked over to his brother who sat with his chin in his hand, lips pulled into a thin straight line as his rusty curls were blown about from the wind of brown and orange flags flown from fans behind him. “We could learn to love it.” Tom flashed you a toothy grin, unsure of where to guide the conversation next. He knew for sure that he wanted to keep talking to you, but his ego began putting up a fight, eager to show himself off if you’d have him in any way. Tom sighed. “Truth is, we have no fucking clue what’s going on.” Tom could hear the commentary about a player reaching the end zone, but they were all just words that went into one ear then came straight out of the other.

You giggled. “I have no idea either. We could make up our own rules if you want.”

Tom likes the way you think. He also likes the way you speak. He loves the way you laugh.

“You have a beautiful laugh.” 

You covered your mouth. “Oh, fuck, I hate my laugh!”

“I’d make you laugh a thousand times if I could.”

You pointed to the jumbo screen as Mayfield made a touchdown, unable to stop laughing from sheer nerves as you felt Tom’s hot, burning haze on you. An advert for Cleveland’s Own Phoenix Coffee flashed on the screen as you spoke. “We’ll make our own rules. Every time we see the quarterback pick up the ball, we’ll cheer.”

By the end of the night, Tom is speechless, breathless and over the edge of his chair in faux excitement and anticipation of the quarterback receiving the ball once again. 

“Another coffee?” The service worker asked.

“Yes please!” You and Tom both say in unison, pumped as the quarterback began circling around to collect the ball in open arms.

The footage of the game is cut abruptly as the camera points to a confused, solo Harry; Anthony and Joe are seen at the edge of the frame whispering suggestively and pointing towards Tom, the camera eventually capturing the superstar who looks back up at his own reflection. Poorly green screened hearts flood the screen and the camera pans to include you in the frame too. Tom looks on in horror when he realises what’s going on and how it could be too late, and turns to you.

“I promise I didn’t know this was going on. We don’t have to.” Tom panics. 

You hear him loud and clear, that you don’t have to, but your heart and eleven thousand people are telling you to kiss him otherwise. “Oh well. We should just do it.” you murmur, the bright pink ‘KISSCAM’ logo flashing in and out.

It doesn’t take more than a moment for the gap between you and Tom to close, for your face to get lost behind his, his lips pressing against yours, eyes closed, trusting each other to share your air. This was probably the first thing that night worth cheering for, howls and whistles erupting around you. 

Tom doesn’t understand American football, but he thinks that the best seats in the house could be anywhere next to you.

Harry’s on the phone to his twin brother, Sam, when you and the rest of the crew make it back to the hotel later on. “-Yeah, and Tom spent half the night with the first A.D. cheering and screaming at fuck all.”

The Cleveland Browns lost that night, but Tom remains none the wiser. He stood in the doorway as Harry continued to relay his day to Sam. “Oh, and Tom, Mum said to give her a call, eavesdropper.” He flicks Tom’s reddening nose before closing the door.

A week and a half later, Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. He never has the time anymore to attend ‘real’ football games back home, and he actually understands the game back in Britain. But now, he’s cheered at almost every given opportunity to impress you stupidly, and his chest and voice is suffering as a consequence.

You and Tom walked onto set with your pinkies intertwined, growing closer and closer by the minute, but Tom doesn’t miss how Ciara’s boyfriend visits set every day for her, doesn’t miss how they rub their nose together in this lovey-dovey affection he wishes he could bestow upon you.

The scene wasn’t working.

The crew was beginning to grow restless and Tom silently became more frustrated as the minutes went by and he was unable to get his lines right. He remembers how a week ago, it felt so easy. You were there to correct him when he stumbled upon his lines and you picked him up so effortlessly, a twinkling smile on your face. But then? Then you were different. Your eyes were scrunched up behind the lens of the camera and you were mumbling something to Anthony about how the sun was due to go down in Ohio soon so you needed to hurry along.

“Alright.” you announced. “Take five!”

And Tom was thankful, Ciara perched upon a swing for the scene they were filming, Tom dwindling the rope of the swing under his finger as her boyfriend approached her once again. “Hey dude, are you okay?”

Ciara looked at Tom with the same concern, hands finding home in her boyfriend’s nest of hair. “Yeah, Tom, are you okay?”

Tom coughed into his hand. “Yeah, guys, I’m good.”

“I think you’re coming down with a nasty cough.” Ciara muttered.

“Yeah. It��s you guys. You’re too cute. You make me sick.” Tom laughed humourlessly for a short while, wanting to be that adorable with someone, maybe not anyone, maybe just with you someday. Then Tom shook his head, a bitter feeling in his throat as he yawned. “It’s the Browns game. I was yelling and screaming every time a quarterback got the ball. Of course I’m a little unwell. I’ll be good as new in a few days though.”

Ciara already knew Tom wasn’t playing a man with the healthiest of habits, but she worried that Tom was getting this bad this early. “Maybe you should talk to the first A.D. about reducing shoot days from five to three?”

Tom didn’t like the prospect of seeing you less. “Yeah.” Harry had a clapperboard between his hands, leading Tom’s eyebrows to furrow as his brother yelled something about it being take 13. “Maybe.” 

Harry resumed to a new position in your chair, with you taking Harry’s place right across from Tom, a coffee waiting for him when the scene was over like Harry always did. Ciara’s boyfriend left the frame to watch supportively on the sidelines.

“Lights. Camera. Action!” Anthony called. “Time is money, you guys! Let’s try to get this one right this time.” 

They’d been over this already twelve times today.

“Hey, I’m really happy you’re here.”

Ciara read her line back. “Why’s that?” 

Tom could hear whispers of the crew, the sound guy glaring at them in case they were picked up in the scene, and he knew it had something to do with the fact that he couldn’t for some reason get the next line out all day. And that reason, unbeknownst to everyone, was because Tom couldn’t say something he didn’t mean - feeling like his heart was locked in a cage for which only you had the key. He looked past his co-star, Ciara, and up at you; feeling so close but you were far away, leaving him all day without anything to say. And overcoming his speechlessness and breathlessness, even in just that moment, he ran his hand over the rope to say, “Cause I like you. A lot.”

Ciara and the rest of the crew broke into a wide smile once Tom finally spoke his next line, but the only person Tom was focused on was you, who wasn’t smiling, but mouthing his words back to him.

Ciara breathed, “Shut up.”

And Tom’s sure to look you in the eye when he says, “I really do.”

When the filming for the day is said and done, Tom makes a beeline for you across the greenery. You hand over his coffee to him, “It’s a little cold now, but a warm hand is holding it.”

Tom quirks an eyebrow. “Are you inviting me to hold your hand?”

“Don’t push your luck.”

“You swapped jobs with Harry, I saw.”

“Yeah, well. It’s good he gets to grips with the job now. You know, in case anything changes.” You pulled your phone out of your pocket. “I should probably give you my number. In case anything changes.”

“Oh no, yeah. Your number is?”

“216-XXX-XXX. Speaking of changes, I heard you’re trying to get your days reduced.”

“You were eavesdropping?” Tom looks at your face that bears no trace of guilt. “You’re just like me!” He pulls you close.

“Tom, if what happened today is because you’re working too much, I’m happy to reduce your time.”

“Nah, nah.” Tom sniffles, rubbing his nose on a jacket probably worth more than your life. “I’m just a bit sick, s’all. I’ll be fine.”

Two weeks pass and Tom’s no better. With the Cleveland game nearly a month ago, Tom has nothing to blame and as first A.D., you’re obligated to reduce his hours. Tom’s on the phone with his mother when you approach his trailer. 

“Don’t listen to Harry. I’m not in love. I just like Y/N.”

“A lot. I’ll keep you updated. Bye, Mum.” 

You’re so quick to skip happily back to your trailer that you miss Harry calling out to his brother, he’s his protector now that his mother was countries apart. “Tom?” Harry starts.

Tom mumbles an ‘mhm’, hoping Harry would make it quick as he sees you FaceTiming him. If only his mother could see him like this. He’d get to call her tomorrow and tell her he’d called you for the first time yesterday, he could hardly wait to utter, 'I've finally found the missing part of me’. Harry sighs as the FaceTime ringing is relentless. Tom’s eyebrows threaten to meet in the middle of his face as he clutches onto his phone.

“Tom.” Harry begins. “Y/N is giving up assistant director.”

Tom’s really not sure where Harry gets the source of his information from, but he’s sure this isn’t true. He thinks you’d tell him before his brother if you were leaving the film behind, leaving him behind.

The film is due to move filming to Morocco soon, and Tom’s well aware that not all film crew joins them when production moves abroad, but to Tom, you’re an extension of this movie universe. And Tom refuses to leave the memories of you in this filming cycle. “How’d you know?”

“I’m taking over.” Tom’s screen lights up with the glow of your call, and as bright as it is, as bright as you are, as bright as your smile surely is on the other end of the phone call, Tom’s in his deepest darkest feelings wondering how he fooled himself into thinking romance could go right for him this time. 

He’s going to Morocco. You’re not. You’re funny, smart, promising, beautiful. You’ll find someone good for you, a better pair by the time he’s back.

“That doesn’t mean it won’t work out, man.” Tom sulks in his bed, the light from your constant calls bleeding through his bed sheets. “I just wanted to warn you.” Tom nods, screaming into his pillow. Harry decides that’s his cue to leave, a glimmer of light from outside seeping through the crack of the door as Harry escorts himself. Tom musters all his might and courage to reluctantly answer your phone, the ear-to-ear grin he knows so well greeting him once again.

Suddenly, he forgot how to speak. Hopeless, breathless, couldn’t you see that?

“Tom?” You call out his name a few times before cutting straight to the point. “Do you like me?”

Tom shifts slightly but not enough to show that he’s alarmed. “Huh? Yeah, I like you.”

He sits up, but doesn’t reciprocate the outrageous smile you wear like a heart on your sleeve. Tom’s eyes are sunken, dark circles forming under his eyes where he and his disturbed character become one. You suddenly remember why you shouldn’t have run away so fast, perhaps Tom was overworking himself. He continues, “But I’m an emotionally unavailable hopeless romantic. So I wouldn’t waste your time on me.”

Tom can’t help the hurt in his heart when he sees your smile drop so suddenly, knowing it was earnest. “Tom, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, life is unfair. And I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead. We wouldn’t work out. And I like our friendship now. We should stay that way.”

You’re not convincing when you nod rapidly, not letting Tom see your face as you play with your fingers to avoid his gaze. “Yeah, I agree.” You’re much less convincing when the last frame Tom caught of you was a shot of tears dripping down your face, as three rings followed you. Tom’s screen went black in your absence, and Tom falls asleep with eyes even redder from crying, and he wonders when he’s gonna shake this sickness.

It’d been a few days since Tom had got his shots to allow him to go to Morocco. He sat opposite the doctor on set, a coffee cup placed on the desk between him.

Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. Shots always have their side effects, and he’d taken multiple shots in one day. And now, he specifically asked for you to hold his hand during the process, Harry branded in a glinting jaw-drop, only for you to leave directly after. 

“I’m speechless, constantly feeling over the edge, breathless.” Tom explains his symptoms to the doctor. “At first I thought it was because of that stupid football game, then all the coffee I’m drinking, now I don’t know if it’s the shots. I feel like shit, doc.”

“I know exactly what you’re dealing with.”

“What?”

“Lovebug.”

Tom stares at the doctor in utter bewilderment. “You figured that out based on my symptoms?”

“I figured that out based on the puppy dog eyes you gave for your first A.D. when they left without a word.” The doctor begins to laugh softly, but Tom is unamused. How is he supposed to shake this illness after completely ruining your relationship? How is he supposed to mend your bond after talking so recklessly, so emotionally? “Tom, I’m not here to be a fairy godmother, I’m being strictly medical. At a certain point, what you feel in your mind affects your body. So I prescribe that you talk to Y/N and say everything you need to say.”

And while that seemed easy enough, Tom’s ego was at work again, and Tom was feeling far too bruised and wounded to speak to you first. Surely if you cared enough, if you liked him back, if you were willing to be distanced, you would reach out first.

It seems Tom’s pride had forgotten that you already did.

“I heard that this is the exact shit that happened in Cleveland, and he couldn’t get the line out.” Tom hears the whisperings from behind the camera, the amount of familiar faces in the crew dwindling after the change in location. He doesn’t respond. He waits for someone to take five. And when no one throws him a bone, he asks Harry to.

“Alright, everyone take five.”

“Someone get this kid a fucking coffee, he’s always on edge.” Joe instructs.

“And you think giving a kid in twenties coffee is taking him off edge?” Anthony chuckles.

Tom doesn’t care whether or not he gets the coffee, rocking side to side. He’s got all the motion for this role, but he feels nothing. All he felt was for you.

“Here.” Harry sets a Moroccan mint tea down next to Tom, hoping it would calm him down. When Tom takes a few sips, the look in his eyes is less pleading, and everyone’s ready to rumble, this being the last scene of the day.

Harry feeds Tom the line. “Baby, are you seeing bad things?” Tom is seeing bad things. A life without love, a life without you. Unable to contain it all, Tom turns his frustration into laughter. “Why are you calling me baby for, man?” Tom has this ear-to-ear grin but even he feels it's not as innocent, as genuine as yours. He never knew a smile so wide could be so full of pain.

“I have an idea.” Harry saunters off to collect his phone. “Don’t stop rolling the cameras.”

When Harry comes back, there’s sounds of shifting erupting from his phone. “Hi, Tom.” 

Tom didn’t know it would be so bittersweet to hear your voice again. He wasn’t sure if he should put walls up again or if twice was the charm. Even if you worked out in the short term, whose to say Tom wouldn’t get hurt again? And Tom wouldn’t want to hurt you.

“Are they taking good care of you out there? I don’t think I took good care of you.” Tom doesn’t say anything on the other side of the line, so you continue. “I’m not a good A.D. if you’re always sick and tired, and I didn’t want to see you any less, which was selfish of me, so I didn’t change your schedule.” You sigh as you admit why you left. “When you asked, though, I swear I was gonna do it, but then I heard you liked me, and I got carried away. I had to remove myself from the situation to do what’s best for you. Do you understand me? I did it for you.”

“I, uh, I got a diagnosis.” Tom stumbles.

“Oh my gosh, are you seriously sick?”

“I’m speechless. Over the edge, breathless.” Tom laughed dryly, finally feeling like he can choose an ending.

“What did they say it was?”

“Lovebug.” Harry smiles softly at his brother.

Your laugh is like nectar entering Tom’s ear.

“I might just love you way too much, Y/N.”

“Are you sure you’re doin’ okay?” Tom tries his best not to sound dejected that you didn’t say it back, knowing he’s already felt the brunt of this heartache already.

“I just miss you, that’s all.”

“I miss you too. I love you.” Joe stops recording, and Harry lowly whispers ‘take.fucking.five.’ as he and the crew creep away from Tom’s new found love scene. 

“Anthony, can I borrow your phone?” Harry begins to type Nikki’s number as soon as Anthony gives over the phone. “Mum, Tom just told the first A.D. he’s in love with them so guess who’s out of a job?”

Tom knows why he’s sick. He used to feel like love was trudging up a high hill he couldn’t come down from, where every beat of heart was feeling like an ache on an open wound. Tom had yet to meet a lover to prove distance makes the heart grow fonder, finding himself in six month long entanglements and illusions of love before things inevitably went sour. But now, Tom has found you.

[dandelionflower]

(Some salt fic september)

Francois DuPont was an artistic school. With talented students varying from designers, to journalists, to DJs, to comic artists and writers. The art room of the school was always the busiest, the loudest, and the favorite room of the school.

So it would make sense for the school to have a yearly showcase. It was called a talent show once upon a time, but eventually the staff and students agreed that ‘talent show’ didn’t suit the talents the students were bringing to the table. Thus, the Francois DuPont showcase was born.

Students worked for months on their piece for the showcase. More than fifty percent of the works in the art room were pieces for the showcase.

It wasn’t mandatory by any means, but most students with a talent in the arts would participate. But with almost all the students participating and some having more than one piece to showcase, the show usually lasted a few days.

Lila, of course, didn’t know any of that so when asked if she was participating in the showcase in a few months, she grinned and said “Of course!”

Alya lit up. “Great! It’s going to be my first showcase too, and I want someone who knows what I’m going through. C’mon, we have to sign up.” And she dragged her into the halls.

Sign up? But it’s in three months. Lila shrugged and allowed herself to be pulled to the sign up sheets.

Alya immediately wrote her name underneath the ‘verbal’ column, putting a ‘journalism’ next to it.

Lila surveyed the options. The easiest thing to fake would probably be photography, so she marked her name under ‘media’ and wrote a ‘photography’ next to it.

“Ooh, photography? What do you take pictures of? Because I know Mari’s been looking for a partner to take pictures of her designs with her.”

Lila bit back a grimace. “Thanks, but I prefer to take pictures of...” Art? Buildings? “Nature. I find that taking pictures of people is narcissistic as a society.”

“Aren’t you a model?” A judgmental voice came from behind her.

“I- well-“ She stuttered.

“It’s completely different, Felix! Lila doesn’t think her photo shoots are art worthy, she’s just doing it as a job.” Alya snapped, throwing an arm out to almost shield Lila from the chill radiating from Felix’s entire person.

“Very well.” Felix stepped around the two and signed his name in perfect cursive beneath Lila’s name and walked away without another word.

“That guy gives me the creeps.” Alix remarked as she scratched her name under the ‘performance’ column, then the ‘piece of art that cannot be moved’ section.

“And he’s doing photography too! Don’t worry Lila, there’s no way he’s better than you.” Alya grabbed her arm reassuringly and began walking with her back to class.

“Yeah, right...” Lila held in a wince as she found her way back to her seat.

Surely photography can’t be that hard.

—

It was that hard.

Lila had waited one week before the showcase to start taking pictures on her phone. She walked to the park and snapped a few pictures, called it a day, and went home.

They were terrible. Blurry, ugly, terrible.

The next thing she tried was looking up stock images and photoshopping the watermark off.

She was awful at photoshop.

Finally, she resorted to her escape plan.

“Sorry, Alya. But I completely forgot that I’m volunteering at the elementary school all day on the day of the showcase, and I can’t just cancel on them. I’m so sorry.”

“Girl, it’s no problem! Marinette told me that the showcase is going to go on for four days. We’ll just reschedule your slot. It’s no problem at all.”

“Great.” She muttered through gritted teeth. “See you then.”

...crap.

She had only one plan now.

And it was risky.

—

Lila walked into class on Monday, prepared for her showcase.

She explained to Alya that when she explained what was going on to the leader of her organization, they gave her a rain check.

“I’m just so thankful.” She brushed away a tear. “I really wanted to make sure I could see everyone’s talents.”

“That’s so sweet!” Rose cooed. “I can’t wait to see your pictures either!”

“I just hope they correctly portray the beauty of my subject...” Lila pressed a hand to her chest in modesty.

“Students, I need all of the media students to come to the art classroom with your flash drives and cameras.” Miss Bustier put her phone down and smiled. “And anyone who paired with a media student for their talent please also join the students in the art room.”

Lila stood and gave everyone a hug. “Wish me luck!”

She noticed Sabrina stand as well and accept a half hearted hug from Chloe and a nod of support from Max. Juleka stood too and hugged Rose tight.

“Bye Alya! Wish me luck.” Marinette appeared from seemingly nowhere and hugged Alya tight. “And don’t be worried about your presentation. We’ll find some time to rehearse before tomorrow.”

“Thanks girl. Look after Lila for me? She’s just as new as I am.”

Marinette’s eyes darkened for just a second, but she quickly broke into a grin. “No problem. And don’t be worried, Lila. I’m sure your photos are just unimaginable.”

“Thanks Marinette. That’s just so sweet of you.” They linked arms and waltzed out of the room.

The moment they were out of eye shot of any of their classmates, they stepped aside.

“You don’t even have pictures, do you?” Marinette growled.

“What do you mean Marinette? Of course I have pictures.” She smirked. Or at least, I will in just a minute.

—

The art room was bustling and chaotic. Perfect for a camera or flash drive to go missing.

Marinette was bombarded by a group of kids from Felix’s class.

“Ready to see the product of our hard work?” A girl with two dark buns on the top of her head asked.

“I hope so.” She gave them a bashful smile.

Lila stopped paying attention. She had a goal in mind.

Her eyes landed on an expensive looking camera sitting on a desk at the side of the room. A sitting duck.

With a side glance for witnesses, Lila walked right by the camera and slipped the memory card right out and into her awaiting palm.

With her goal met, she sat primly in her chair, waiting for them to be called to the stage.

“Alright, photographers, models, actors, directors!” The art teacher stood. “Let’s go!”

Lila skipped up to him, a look of concern on her face. “Sir?”

“Yes Lila?”

“My camera broke on my way here and all I have left of it is my memory card; is there still a way for me to present my photos?”

“Of course there is. Don’t you worry a bit.”

“Perfect!” She grinned.

Once backstage, each student needed to give the teacher their SD cards or cameras and wait to be called onstage to describe their works to the audience.

Lila spared a quick glance towards the onlookers. Talent scouts of every kind were sitting in plush, reserved seats, notebooks and pens at the ready.

She was the first one up, the first one they would see and, unless she used all of her charisma and improvising skill, the first one they would forget.

“...and now, Lila Rossi with her photography!”

Lila strutted out to the greetings of applause.

“Hello, and let me just say I am so honored to be here today, especially considering that a year ago I wasn’t expected to be able to walk to school every day. Photography was really the only thing that got me through the day.”

A murmur of pity rippled through the crowd.

“Pictures like this one.” She pressed the clicker and a picture appeared on the screen behind her.

A picture of one Marinette Dupain-Cheng, mid-twirl in a beautiful hand-made dress.

Lila heard Alya gasp.

“I wanted to show simultaneously the mundanity of walking and the undeniable splendor of it. My dear friend Marinette had some designs she was willing to model for me to help achieve my goal. Marinette, come on out!” She held a hand out, daring Marinette to come out from where she was waiting to go next along with her other friends.

Felix stood behind her with a look of horror and disgust on his face; and a particularly fancy camera hanging around his neck. A very familiar camera.

“No? Okay then.” She turned back to the crowd. “She’ll be out with a different group; Mari doesn’t want me to have to share the spotlight, isn’t she sweet?”

The crowd applauded and Lila continued making up technical terms and thought processes for each photo, all of which were of Marinette in different designs.

“Thank you.” She bowed deep before walking off the stage.

Now to hold her breath and hope that Marinette, Felix and all their friends were too chicken to call her out onstage.

—

“Now, with their short film; ‘solving love,’ please welcome Bridgette Cheng, Claude Lambert, Mercury Bernard, Allegra Harthorn, Felix Culpa, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“Hey everybody!” A boy with brown hair and a blue striped shirt grabbed the mic and shouted. “How are we doing today?”

A scattered amount of applause.

“Nice! I’m Claude, and this is Bridgette.”

The girl with the buns waved.

“We were the main idea folks for this video; but the idea only came after the filming.”

Bridgette grabbed the mic. “We asked out friends if we could film them, and then a few weeks ago, we reviewed the film and noticed something... interesting.”

“Allegra here,” a girl with a long blonde braid waved, “did the music and Mercury,” a boy with dark glasses and a green beret, “did the narration. You’ll be seeing more of them soon. My cousin Mari,” Marinette waved, “and Felix are the main subjects of the film. You would have seen more of them, but for some reason Felix’s memory card went missing.”

Lila swallowed, this wasn’t great. The seeds of dissent were planted and now she had to risk either spinning another fake story or hoping that it all went well.

It’s not like they had any proof though; she should be fine.

“Anyway, here’s ‘Solving Love.’”

They all stepped to the side and the video began with a smooth piano.

“Love.” The screen showed couples going up to Andre’s and sharing ice cream. “The answer to everything. To ourselves, to the meaning of life, to the questions we cannot ask.”

“But how? How do we get from complete strangers, to people so close they are the same person?” The video changed to a showing of Marinette and Felix shaking hands, both with sardonic smirks. “People rarely get to see the entire process of when people fall in love; there are always pieces missing, hidden moments only for the people in question to recall. Love is left for the investigator to discover for themselves, when the time is right.”

“But maybe,” it showed Marinette talking animatedly, as Felix yawns beside her, “maybe one day, we’ll be lucky enough to see most of the picture.” Felix’s eyes droop and his head falls to rest atop Marinette’s, in the beginnings of a nap. Marinette flushes red.

The rest of the video shows the stages of Marinette and Felix’s relationship, from sarcastic rivals, to peers, to friends, to partners. The narrator described different relationships and how love is a constant through all of them.

The video showed Marinette dancing, twirling in a brilliant dress as Felix kneels and snaps pictures. “Ah, but is this all of it?” They lean down for a swift kiss. The image pauses there. “The full picture? Or is it only a snapshot,” the screen lights up white, “a minor clue, to solving love?”

The auditorium was quiet for what seemed like minutes. Then, the room burst into uproarious applause; a standing ovation.

Lila growled as she turned to sulk and maybe get her makeup so she could fake an injury and get some pity points to heal her bruised ego.

She ran face first into the grey suit of Mr. Damocles.

“Oh, hello sir.” She beamed. “Is there a problem?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Yes Miss Rossi, there is. Did you take those pictures of Miss Dupain-Cheng? Because that video tells a different story.”

“Yes sir, I swear it.”

“You swear it, huh? Well you best come with me to the office. Miss Dupain-Cheng and her friends will join us when they’re done.”

“What?”

“Miss Rossi, you are accused of stealing Mr Culpa and Miss Dupain-Cheng’s creative work. We will be calling your mother to discuss this.”

Back on stage the crowd of students and talent agents alike had taken to shouting questions to the group of students.

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

Raise the Stakes, part 14

Aaaaaaannnnnnd we're done! I literally decided on this ending today and I'm posting it before I start to get THE DOUBTS. I hope you enjoy it and thank you so, so, so much to everyone who's liked/ commented/ messaged along the way.

There's mention in here of an interview that did actually happen a couple of days ago and what's included is pretty much what I've read online. That said, I've embellished some for the purpose of the story, so I'm not claiming to know anything.

Previous sections are on the Master List.

Pairing: David Finlay x OFC x Jay White

Word count: 2,767

Content advisory: other than the usual language, nothing really. Should I be cautioning people about angstiness? Because there's angst.

Thought you should see this.

The toneless message with its link is ruining your day. You can’t stop looking at it, but you don’t want to open the link again because you don’t want David to see it. Not that you have any reason to feel guilty. If anything, he’s the one who has some explaining to do but he also has the biggest match of his life tonight, the one where he can finally put the years of tension and rivalry with Jay behind him. You want to be supportive but you also want some answers.

It can wait, you tell yourself for the hundredth time. You’ll talk about it tomorrow. Or next week. All the time in the world. At least, that’s what you hope.

The whole day, the two of you are together but you have to keep a little bit of distance. Don’t want to get distracted and he has to conserve all the energy he can. Doesn’t stop you from touching each other, of course, but even when you do, it feels like you’re still at a distance. He’s trying not to think about anything except tonight. Or maybe it just looks that way. Maybe he’s thinking about his future beyond tonight, when he moves on. It would be nice to know if he wanted you to move on with him but he’s not letting you in on his plans. Hell, if it were up to him, you wouldn’t even know that there were plans.

You’d expected Jay to have some sort of mocking comments. How come the boyfriend you’re so in love with is giving interviews talking about signing with another company, moving to another state, changing everything about his life, and you don’t know anything about it? How Jay had looked at that interview and immediately known that you weren’t aware of it is beyond you. It’s unnerving sometimes, his ability to figure things out when it comes to you. You suppose it’s one of the reasons he’s always been able to get under your skin and make you do what he wants.

But aside from the initial message, he doesn’t say anything. You think that maybe it was a ploy to see if you’d confront David and start a fight before their match, because that’s exactly the kind of ugly trick Jay loves. When you arrive at the venue, though, you see him getting out of a car at the same time. He doesn’t look scornful, doesn’t shout something insulting, doesn’t strut like a damn peacock in mating season, nothing that you would normally expect from him. He looks straight at you and doesn’t smirk or sneer. On anyone other than Jay White, the look might be interpreted as concern.

Technically, you’re supposed to be there for all the performers but at this point, there’s very little left for you to do. It’s all on them now and if everything turns out to be a garbage fire, it won’t be because of any failings on your part. So you do your rounds to make sure everyone has what they need, knows their cues, gets any questions answered. But you always circle back to where David is and stay for as long as you can before your nerves get the better of you.

And then there’s the one person you should check on, but don’t. You aren’t completely derelict. You check with the people he has around him, you even lower yourself to telling Chris Bey that he can text you if his majesty needs anything. Strangely, you don’t hear anything. You text Jay once to say that you’re available to help. You keep it professional and don’t mention anything about the link he sent earlier, so you’re expecting him to needle you about it, or at least act like you’re useless because you aren’t spending your entire day catering to him. Nothing. You’re almost tempted to go check to make sure he’s not sick because one thing Jay White has never been is one to stay quiet when something is bothering him. Maybe he feels sorry for you, in which case you’d rather he yelled.

You enjoy as much of the show as you can but you spend the last minutes before his match with David, largely quiet, just holding each other’s hands. You walk as far as you can with him and, as his music hits, squeeze his hand extra tight. He turns and gives you a soft, quick kiss before leaning back and doing it again, deeper.

“I love you,” he says, cupping your face in his hand.

“I love you too.”

He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself of something. You sound like you’re calling after a train that’s already left the station.

Against your better judgment, you stay where you are. Jay arrives, already acting his part, hands tapping idly on the belt that, in theory, is the reason they’re fighting. You stare at him waiting for him to acknowledge you but there’s nothing. His music swells and he heads out like you’re not even there.

“Just like old times,” you mutter to yourself.

And still.

You watch from backstage as Jay holds his belt up, grinning and preening like he never had a moment’s doubt. You know him well enough to know that’s not true. He keeps cutting looks back at David as if he’s expecting to have to defend himself again, as if he doesn’t believe that he’s truly vanquished him.

The audience doesn’t share his insecurity, cheering him on like he was the hero and David the villain. He’s obnoxious and self-centred but they love him anyway. It makes you feel a little less stupid for the years you’d spent doing the same.

A couple of assistants help David backstage, holding ice to his neck and making sure he doesn’t collapse on the way to the locker room. He looks angry, sullen, and bitter, but not injured, which is a relief. You turn away from the scene in the ring and follow him back to his dressing room, taking over from the dojo students on ice duty when you get there. You don’t speak. You figure it’s better to let him decide when he’s ready.

You’d love to, of course, because despite the fact that you don’t want to make his night worse, it’s becoming unbearable to keep everything inside.

“Where does it hurt?” you ask quietly, picking up a new cold pack.

“Everywhere,” he mumbles.

You hold the ice against his lower back, remembering the awful hit he’d taken on the ring apron.

“You looked great out there.”

“Didn’t feel so great.” He gives you a little smile. “Onward and upward, right?”

“Or southward?” You don’t even mean to say it out loud because this is absolutely not the time to bring it up and certainly not in this passive aggressive way.

“Southward?” He raises his eyebrows like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about but you can see immediately that he does.

“Nothing, it’s ok.”

He sighs. “What’s southward?”

“Do you need another ice pack?”

“Uh oh, sounds like someone’s been reading the dirt sheets.”

“Just making a joke.” You wish you hadn’t brought this up because now you have to try to cram it back into its hiding space in your brain. And you have to suppress the fact that you’re actually kind of angry.

He watches you, trying to gage your state of mind. “Shouldn’t listen to idle gossip.”

That hits like a slap across the face.

“It’s not gossip, David. You did an interview with Wrestling Observer. If people are speculating or have questions, it’s because of what you said yourself.”

“It’s just talking. I didn’t confirm anything.”

He seems a little proud of this, like he’s very clever for getting people talking about what they don’t know. He doesn’t seem to have an issue with the fact that you’re one of those people.

“It’s all there, though,” you murmur. “Talking about how much you want to work in the States, that you want to try somewhere new, that you’re moving to Florida. You’re going to NXT, right?”

He shrugs and avoids your eyes.

“Were you ever going to tell me about any of this or did you figure I’d be able to piece together where you’d gone from news clippings and Reddit posts?”

“Of course I was going to talk to you. Nothing’s final yet.”

“So you were waiting until you bought a house in Florida and signed a contract with another company? Then what? You’d wake me up one morning and just say ‘bye babe, I’ll be living in another state from now on?’”

“The opportunity came up. This,” he gestures to the two of you, “is still really new. I didn’t want to introduce all these complications.”

“David, I’m not some girl you picked up in a bar. We’ve known each other for years. You’ve talked to me before about your contract renewals. Seems like you could have told me something.”

“I was going to tell you something. When I had a better idea of what I wanted to do.”

“You told a journalist, a ‘dirt sheet’ in your own words, that you’re in the process of moving to Florida. That seems like you have a pretty clear idea.”

“Ok, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to find out. You don’t even read that stuff normally.”

“You’re aware people are talking about this on social media, right?”

He grunts but doesn’t say anything more. It’s infuriating. He looks resentful that he has to explain himself, like he didn’t think this was going to be an issue for you. Finally, he meets your eyes, guilt very clearly evident now.

“I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I’m an idiot, I could have figured out that you’d see something, or that someone would tell you.”

“It is my job to know stuff like this, all other considerations aside.”

“Believe me, I did not want you getting this from some random dweeb on Twitter.”

“I wish it had been a random dweeb on Twitter.”

He looks surprised and then it’s like part of him collapses when he realizes what you mean.

“Got up this morning to a one line text and a link to the article from our old pal. You know, making sure I’m not out of the loop.”

“Asshole.”

“In this case no. Somehow, you managed to cede the high moral ground to a man whose morals are generally nonexistent.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Well, this is hardly the ideal moment to have this conversation, but I want to know if and how you see me fitting into this new life you’re going to have.”

He shrugs a little. “How do you want to fit in?”

The realization hits you hard. “You don’t think this is going to last, do you? You didn’t think I was serious.”

“Wanting is a lot easier than having.”

“Maybe for you.”

“No, that’s not what I meant, it’s just that I… You’re right. I didn’t think I needed to consider you. It wasn’t part of my decision-making process.”

“You’ve been setting this up for weeks. All this has come together at the same time you’ve been with me almost every day. If I wasn’t part of your process, that was the decision right there.”

The two of you stare each other down but there seems to be nothing left to say.

Eventually, you rise to your feet and stammer, “I’m just going to… I need to take a walk or something.”

You wander around the place, watching the crew rushing to pack up. Eventually, you find yourself outside, where the ring still stands, bathed in the glow of the safety lights. It seems forlorn in front of the empty seats but there is still a kind of magic about it. That’s what draws people to this business, you suppose, the feeling of magic.

Since no one else is around, you climb up and through the ropes, kicking off your shoes. You’ve been in one before, but always just to set it up or break it down. You’ve never had an in-ring moment. And there’s a reason for that, which is that you can barely wrestle your way out of your winter coat. But as long as you’re here and you need to do something to take your mind off the sensation that your chest is about to rip.

You run, or jog, from one side to the other, bouncing off the ropes as you do, the way you’ve watched dozens of men doing for years. Although you know the “ropes” are actually steel cables with a plastic coating and you’ve handled them before, it surprises you how much it hurts when you hit them too hard. It’s not the worst pain you have right now.

You pick up speed a little and then practice letting yourself “bump”, a fancy way of saying fall flat on your back. Each time, you knock the wind out of yourself a little but you get right back up and continue your running. Finally, you have enough momentum that you’re able to just roll yourself into a somersault, and sure, it’s not the most perfectly executed thing, but you keep your body straight and you pop right back up. Just like a pro.

“Ta-da!” you say to yourself.

That’s when the tears come. It’s not falling to pieces, but the stew of emotions inside you just starts to leak out. What the hell do you do now?

There are some footsteps behind you, echoing a little in the empty arena, and you see a man’s approaching shadow loom behind you, pushing his long hair back from his face as he crouches down. So you’re not startled when a thick pair of arms wraps around you and you feel his face pressed against your neck.

“Come home.”

You give an unhappy laugh. “Home is kind of a weird concept right now, Jay.”

“You’re always home for me. I guess I was hoping you felt the same way.”

You snap your head to look at him, pulling back enough so that you can focus on his eyes. In all the time you’ve known him, you don’t think he’s ever looked as calm as he does in this moment.

“Congratulations on your win.”

“Yeah, I get to be a target for a while longer.”

“Stop pretending you don’t love it.”

“Sure, I love it. It’s nice. There are other things I love more.” He runs his fingers over your cheeks, cleaning away the remains of your tears. “I’m sorry about sending you that story earlier.”

“All the shit you’ve pulled over the years and that’s the thing you apologize for?”

“Oh I meant I’m sorry that I had to be the one to send it. I don’t want you to shoot the messenger or anything.”

“If I haven’t shot you by now, I think you’re safe.”

He laughs and pulls you back against his chest, kissing down your cheek and neck. Then he stands, pulling you right up with him and letting his lips trail over the crown of your head.

“Come on.” he whispers, taking your hand.

“Wait, I need my shoes.”

You dart over to pick them up and he’s right there to help you into them and to lead you through the ropes and down the stairs. That’s when he plants his lips on yours, firmly, so that you can feel it in your knees.

“I need to go get my suitcase inside.”

“Do you always carry everything with you wherever you go?”

“I’m headed straight to the airport from here. Catching a red eye back.”

“Skip it. Leave tomorrow.”

“Just like that?”

“Sure. I have a really nice room.”

“I know you do, I booked it.”

“Always taking care of me, aren’t you?”

“Oh wow, he noticed.”

He kisses you again, a little longer, digging his fingers into your back, and your body melts against him of its own volition.

“I’m not coming back if everything is just going to go back to the way it was, Jay.”

“I didn’t come running after you because you’re good at managing my schedule.”

You give him a sceptical look but you can't entirely keep from smiling.

“Look at me,” he grins, “I’m a god. Any woman would want me and you have me. You should feel like you won the lottery.”

“Yeah,” you drawl, letting him wrap an arm around you as you walk away together, “I won.”

[gossipgirliess]

Started With Jealousy

Pairing: Eli Goldsworthy x Fem!Reader

Characters: Eli Goldsworthy, Y/N L/N, Clare Edwards, Jake Martin, Fiona Coyne, Holly J Sinclair, Imogen Moreno, other students

Requested? Yes! This is my first request! Thank you for the idea, I haven’t been having any luck with coming up with ideas for imagines. This was requested by @fairyth0rns​ Thank you again for requesting this! I love writing for Degrassi so please request more stuff!

Summary: Clare is still hung up on Eli, even though she’s dating Jake. Y/N, Eli’s best friend, is jealous of the Edwards girl. While Eli is in the middle of a manic episode, he insults Y/N, leaving her hurt. Will Eli be able to get her to forgive him? Will he still have a chance with her? Read to find out!

Word Count: ? Sorry that it’s a little long, also sorry if there are any typos.

Warnings:  A couple curse words? Angst

Every night she found herself thinking “Why aren’t I good enough for him?”

You see, Y/N had feelings for someone. Someone who was her best friend. Someone who didn’t see her like that. That someone was Eli Goldsworthy.

“So anyway, she was totally being-Y/N? Hello? Y/N? Y/N/N?!”

“What, what?! Oh, my God, what?!”

“Did you hear a single word I said?” Fiona asked before Y/N sighed.

“No, sorry.” 

The two were at Y/N’s house, in her kitchen studying, while also eating take out. Holly J was supposed to be there as well, but she had a lot of homework to do.

“What’s wrong?” Fiona asked as she closed her text book.

“Nothing. It’s just-I just have a lot on my mind right now.” Y/N said as she closed her text book, as well.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m just so confused.”

Fiona’s eyebrows furrowed.

“About what?”

“Lots of things. School, feelings, life. Also-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Go back to feelings. Are you confused with your feelings for someone?” Fiona asked as she sat up.

“Yes, maybe, I don’t know. I think I like Eli.” Y/N said before Fiona’s eyes widended.

“You do?!”

“Yeah, I really do.”

The girls both squealed.

“Oh, my gosh! I knew it! Well, what’s stopping you?” Fiona asked before Y/N sighed.

“Clare.”

Eli and Clare dated, but Clare broke up with him. She soon began to date Jake, even though she wasn’t fully over Eli. Y/N was pretty positive that Eli wanted Clare back. But what she didn’t know was that Eli was trying to hide his feelings for her by thinking of ways to win Clare back.

“What’s Clare gonna do? She’s with Jake, remember?” Fiona said before Y/N nodded.

“I know. I’m just scared. If I tell him that I like him and he dosen’t like me back, that could ruin our friendship. It could make things awkward between us for the rest of our lives! And on top of that, I probably don’t stand a chance and he’s going to go back to Clare. And every time I look at Clare I think, ‘Why am I not good enough, but she is?’ ‘Why doesn’t he look at me the way he looks at her?’” Y/N said as she looked at Fiona.

“Oh, I see, you’re jealous.” Fiona said before Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Jealous? Y-yeah, okay, Fiona.”

“I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your tone! You’re jealous of Clare, Y/N!’ Fiona said before Y/N sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

“Okay, fine, yes! I’m jealous. But, it dosen’t matter. I’ll never be her.” Y/N said before Fiona sighed and hugged her.

***

The next day Y/N was at her locker.

“Y/N!”

She turned around and saw Eli walking towards her.

“Oh, hey, Eli.”

“Hey. So, you’re still coming to my play, right?” Eli asked before Y/N nodded.

“Yep, I wouldn’t miss it.” Y/N said before Eli smiled.

“Cool. Great I-I just wanted to make sure you were still coming.” Eli said before Y/N smiled.

“Well, I am.”

“Hey, guys.” Fiona said as she walked over.

“Hi.”

“See you guys around. Bye, Y/N/N.” Eli said before he walked away.

“Bye.”

“Did you see that?!” Fiona asked before Y/N closed her locker.

“See what?” Y/N asked as the two started to walk down the hallway.

“He said bye to you directly.” Fiona said as she linked her arm with Y/N‘s

“That dosen’t mean anything.” Y/N said as she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say.” Fiona said as Y/N shook her head and smiled.

***

The play was starting in less than ten minutes and Imogen was no where to be found.

Eli was sitting at a vanity backstage.

“Did you find her?” Eli asked as Y/N walked over to him.

“Nope. No one’s seen her. We’ve looked everywhere. She’s not even answering her phone. How are you doing?” Y/N asked as she stood behind him.

“Not that great, considering I don’t have a leading lady.” Eli said before Y/N lightly chuckled.

“It’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“True. But, I believe you’ll be able to pull it off.” Y/N said before Eli sighed and stood up.

“How can you be so sure?! I don’t have a leading lady! This play is turing into a disaster!” Eli exclaimed as Y/N slightly flinched.

“It’s okay. Eli, just calm down-“

“It’s not that easy, okay?! God, Y/N, you just don’t get it! You’re so annoying! I sometimes can’t believe I’m even friends with you! You’re an awful friend!” Eli yelled before Y/N’s face fell.

“Oh. Well, if that’s how you feel.” Y/N said before she started to walk away.

“Y/N-wait! Y/N! Damn it!” Eli said before he kicked a chair.

“Care to explain why we just saw Y/N run out crying?” Fiona asked after she and Holly J walked over.

“She was crying?” Eli asked as he turned around.

“Yeah. She looked really hurt. What happened?” Holly J asked.

“I-I think I was having another episode and I went off on her.” Eli sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Why don’t you go try to find her and calm her down?” Fiona suggested before Holly J nodded and left.

“Sure.”

“Okay, it’s just you and me here. Wanna tell me what happened?” Fiona asked as she leaned against the vanity.

“She came back here to tell me nobody’s seen Imogen and was trying to tell me thay everything would be okay and that everything would work out. I guess I didn’t wanna hear it and I lashed out on her.” Eli said before Fiona sighed.

“Oh, no. What did you say?” Fiona asked.

“I-I told her she was annoying and a bad friend and-”

“And?”

“And that sometimes I can’t believe I’m even friends with her.” Eli said before Fiona gasped.

“Oh, my God! Eli, that’s terrible!” Fiona said as Eli sighed.

“I know, I know. I just-I think I messed up the best friendship I’ve ever had.”

“Y/N! Y/N! Wait!” Holly J said as she followed Y/N down the hall.

“What, Holly J?” Y/N asked as she turned around.

“Come here.” Holly J said as she opened her arms.

Y/N ran into her arms and cried into her shoulder.

Holly J whispered soft sayings into her ear and ran her hand through her hair.

She then lead her to a bench.

“Now, what exactly happend?” Holly J asked after the two sat down.

“Eli happened. He told me that he dosen’t even know why he’s friends with me.” Y/N said as she wiped her tears.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” Holly J said as she held her hand.

“You didn’t see his face, Holly J. He looked pretty serious.” Y/N said as she laid her head on Holly J’s shoulder.

“Well, the play’s about to start, so what are you gonna do? The audience is packed.” Fiona said.

“I don’t have a leading lady.” Eli said before Fiona sighed.

“I’ll do it. I’ll play Clara. I know the lines.” Fiona said.

“You don’t know the new ending.” Eli said.

“If I have to read my script on stage, then so be it. Bottom line it says directed by Fiona Coyne in the program. And like I said before I will not be responsible for a bomb. So, are you with me or what?” Fiona asked.

“I’m with you.” Eli said before they heard the music.

“That’s the cue. Better get stage left for my big entrance. See you in the spotlight.” Fiona said before she walked away.

“Show time.”

***

Holly J managed to convince Y/N to watch the play and the two were sitting in the audience.

“Thanks for coming, I just-I hate the way we left things. The truth is, you should be with me, not uh-him. Um-I’m sorry. Uh, what?” Eli asked after he looked at Y/N.

“Um-Maybe we should go away from here.” Fiona said before Eli looked at her.

“No, th-that’s not how it goes. That’s my line, not your’s. You’re not following the script!” Eli said.

“You’re not exactly following the script either, Ari!” Fiona said before the audience laughed.

“It dosen’t matter, you’re not her.” Eli said before Fiona looked at him.

“Eli, come on, we’re almost done. Just stick to the script!” Fiona said softly.

“What script? There’s not script! You can’t write your life! No matter how much all of you want a happy ending, you can’t have it! I tried to write one, but it’s impossible. I rewrote and rewrote but things kept changing, and I hurt people, and I-I knew they were hurting, but I didn’t stop. Because your mind tricks you. It tricks you into thinking that things are fine. They’re not fine, nothing is fine! It’s all wrong!” Eli exclaimed after stood up and took the script from Fiona.

He looked at Y/N, who had tears in her eyes.

“I’m all wrong. That’s it. There’s no happy ending.” Eli said before he lit the script on fire and fell to the ground.

“Um.. Lights!” Fiona said before the lights turned off and being everyone started clapping.

The audience stood up and applauded before the cast bowed.

Eli had tears in his eyes and looked at Y/N, who had tears in her eyes, as well.

As soon as everyone started going backstage, Y/N ran out in tears, with Fiona and Holly J following.

“I got it.” Fiona said as Holly J nodded.

“Okay.”

“Y/N! Y/N/N! Y/N! Wait!” Fiona said as she ran after her best friend.

“Leave me alone, Fiona.”

“No, stop, wait! Y/N?” Fiona said soflty after she turned Y/N around.

“What?”

“Look, he didn’t mean-”

“You weren’t there, Fiona. You didn’t hear him, you didn’t see his face.” Y/N said as she wiped her tears.

“How about we just crash at my place and forget about this whole nightmare?” Fiona asked before Y/N nodded.

“I guess that would be okay.” Y/N said before Fiona smiled and put her arm around her.

“Good.”

***

For the past few days, Eli had been doing everything he could to get Y/N to forgive him.

He tried calling her, texting, he even went to her house.

But, she contiuned to ignore him. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever talk to him again.

“Fiona, hey!” Eli said as he followed Fiona down the hallway.

“Oh, uh, hi, Eli.” Fiona said after she turned around.

“Do you know when Y/N’s gonna forgive me.” Eli asked before Fiona shrugged.

“To be honest, I’m not sure if she will. What you said really hurt her, Eli. Even if you didn’t mean it.” Fiona said before Eli sighed.

“Well, can you at least tell her that I’m really sorry.” Eli said before Fiona nodded.

“Sure. See ya.” Fiona said after she saw Y/N and before she walked away.

“Bye.”

“What did he say?” Y/N asked as Fiona came up to her.

“He just said to tell you that he’s really sorry. And he looked pretty bad. I’ve never seen him that upset.” Fiona said before Y/N sighed.

“What do you think I should do?” Y/N asked.

“Maybe hear him out.” Fiona said with a small shrug before the bell rang.

“I guess.” Y/N said before the two walked to class.

***

After school, Y/N decided to text Eli and tell him to come over.

Eli raced over there as soon as he saw the text.

“Hey.” Eli said after Y/N answered the door.

“Hi. Come in.”

The two went up the her room.

“Look, I’m really, really sorry. I honestly don’t know why I said those things. You’re not annoying, you’re actually really fun to be around. You’re also a great friend and I know why I’m friends with you, and it’s because you’re an amazing person.” Eli said before Y/N slightly blushed and smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I guess there’s something I have to get off of my chest.” Y/N said before Eli’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Okay, what is it?”

“I-I’ve been jealous of Clare.” Y/N sighed.

“Of Clare? Why?” Eli asked.

“Because of your history, because of the way you look at her, because she’s not me.” Y/N said as tears started to form in her eyes.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What do you mean, ‘she’s not you?’ So what? Who cares if she’s not you. You’re awesome.” Eli said as he wiped her tears.

“T-thanks.”

“Also..”

“What? What?” Y/N asked with a slight chuckle.

Eli placed his hands on her cheeks and crashed his lips against hers.

The two slowly pulled away and their eyes fluttered open.

“I really like you, Y/N L/N.” Eli said with a small chuckle.

“I really like you, too, Eli Goldsworthy.” Y/N said with a small smile.

“So, do you forgive me?” Eli asked before Y/N lightly smirked.

“Maybe.” Y/N said before Eli chuckled and connected their lips again.

[bqstqnbruin]

I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind

We’re going to ignore all typos until I have time to fix them, and also ignore the fact that it’s four am and I have a 9 am class, but this was clearly more important.

Shout out to the anon who sent in the idea for the little blurb that I did that I ended up putting in here!

Prepare for the part all of y’all have been wanting! There’s some smut in this, so be warned that it’s not great leave me be. I still hope you like it!

Read the whole series:  I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair // I hate the way you drive my car // I hate it when you stare // I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind // I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme // I hate the way you’re always right // I hate it when you lie // I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry // I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call // But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

___________________________

“It doesn’t matter if other people think it’s true or not. What matters is that we know it’s true. I love you.”

“Fuck you.” 

--------------------

“So, is there a reason it looks like a vacuum attacked Matthew’s neck in his latest Insta post? Did those appear last weekend when I was gone?” Evelina comes barging into your room, phone in hand. “Damn, you actually picked that outfit out?” 

You look at yourself in the mirror, your hair and makeup finished, the dress you had on for the charity event that Matthew was supposed to pick you up for any minute now. The black, off the shoulder high-low dress fit you perfectly, accenting every feature of your body in just the right way. But still, you weren’t quite sure if it was right. “It looks ok?” you ask her, going to your closet to find a pair of shoes to wear. 

“If you didn’t fuck each other after destroying each others necks while I was gone, you’re going to tonight.” Wiping around, you can’t help but glare at her. You did not love Matthew. But then, why did you have to keep reminding yourself about that. “Hey, I have until you finish the list to keep this up, let me live.” 

You were about to fire something back at her when you hear Matthew’s voice call from the living room. “We’re in Y/N’s room!” Evelina answers for you.

“You really abuse that key,” you say, not taking your eyes away from your closet as you try to find shoes to wear. You weren’t ready to look at him just yet. “Ev, help me find the right shoes!” 

She gets up as you hear Matthew sitting on your bed, the creak of the frame sending a shiver down your spine. “What about these?” she asks, holding up a pair of heels.

You scrunch up your face, telling her to find another option. “How does he look?” you whisper, just loud enough for her to hear.

She smiles at you, handing you another pair of shoes, “I think you need to look for yourself.” 

You put on the shoes, refusing to turn around until the last minute. You almost didn’t want to see what he looked like, but you turn to him anyway. The second you look at each other, you both stop breathing. He gets up from your bed, slowly, making his way to you while Evelina was watching off to the side. He looked perfect. The suit was fitting him just the right way, the tie in your favorite color to match the necklace you were wearing, his hair in a flawless mess, the curls going everywhere yet looking pristine at the same time. 

He couldn’t find the words to say to you, taking your hands in his as he scanned your entire body. “W-wow,” he stammers out, swallowing hard as he tries to make any sound. “You look,” he starts, not knowing what word could accurately describe how incredible he found you, “Wow.” 

You look down at your hands, intertwining your fingers in his. Everything about holding his hands just felt right. You look up at him, his blue eyes sparkling even in the shitty lighting of your bedroom. “Wow yourself,” you tell him, unable to fight the smile on your face, or control your breathing for that matter. 

You stood there standing for what felt like forever, until you were interrupted by Evelina clearing her throat, a smirk on her face. “Don’t you two need to get going?”

“Uh, yeah,” you say, breaking away, embarrassed that she just saw that. If she thought you loved him before, that would confirm it now. But you didn’t love him. You didn’t even like him. You had a list of things you hated about him, even if there were only four things on it. 

“Are you going to be alright in those shoes tonight?” he asks, looking down at the heels Evelina had picked out for you. 

“It’s not like Ev here would let me wear these,” you say, holding up your black, beat up combat boots. You hear her fake gag behind you, throwing them in her direction and purposefully missing so that you don’t break anything of yours.

“Those would ruin the look,” Matthew says, both of you looking shocked that words like that would even come out of him. “Actually, Ev,” he says, changing the subject and finally tearing his eyes away from you, “Elias wanted me to ask you something, privately?” he lies.

You and Evelina exchange glances before you leave your room. Elias has Evelina’s number, why didn’t he just ask her?

“What’s up?” she asks, sitting down on your bed, Matthew sitting next to her. He lets out a low groan, putting his face in his hands. “Y/N looks flawless,” he says, pain in his voice. 

“So what are you going to do about it?” she asks, pulling him up. “You both love each other. I know you know that. This whole list thing is ridiculous. She looks great, you look great, act,” she instructs him.

“I have tired. I can’t even kiss her on the lips without some sort of interruption. I can’t control that!” he whines, trying not to get too loud incase you were within ear shot. He’s wanted to do more than just kiss you this entire time. He’s flat out told you that and you somehow still missed the message. “How is it she’s so smart, yet so oblivious?” 

Evelina shrugs, pulling him up off the bed, “People who are book smart never have common sense, bub. I’ve been telling her she loves you since you two met. She doesn’t even listen to me.”

“This is hopeless,” he says, practically throwing himself back on your bed. 

“Nope, get up,” Evelina says, pulling him back up. Matthew nearly stumbles over and onto the floor, not expecting her to be as strong as she was. “Look, she only has four things on the list,” she explains, “I told you the first night, if she really hated you, she would have more than that. You still have two and a half weeks.” 

He looks at her, biting his lip and nodding as the two of them go out to find you waiting on the couch. “Ready to go?” he asks, putting his hand out for you. 

You get up, Evelina’s eyes going wide and her mouth falling open. “Wait, you left something in my room, Y/N,” she says, dragging you there. She closes the door behind you, “You’re not wearing underwear!” she tries hard not to scream. 

“It would show under the dress!” you try to protest, heat rushing to your cheeks.

“I have worn a dress much tighter than that and you couldn’t see mine,” she provokes you, her eyes gleaming, knowing that she was right.

“I have to go,” you sing to her, trying to get past her. 

“Admit it!” she yells as you run towards Matthew, taking him by the hand and dragging him out the door. 

“Bye, love you!” “I hate you!” 

You practically run Matthew to his car, praying that Evelina wasn’t following the two of you. “Do you want to talk about what that was just then?”

“I borrowed one of her shirts and haven’t given it back because I got a stain on it and haven’t done laundry yet,” you spit out the lie. There was no way you would tell Matthew that you weren’t wearing anything underneath the dress. Not yet. “So, uh,” you start to change the subject, “What is this event again?”

“Something with the organization and the season ticket holders? It’s fancy and I was told to wear game day clothes, so, here we are.”

You look at him for a moment, your eyes tracing his jawline like when you went to the liquor store. “You clean up really nicely, Rat Man,” you say, “You look really good.” 

He smiles with the left side of his face so you can’t see it. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” he tells you, wishing he could figure out the proper words to say what he really thought. “Excited for tonight?”

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to see the guys not drunk at a bar.”

“Right because seeing them drunk in a ballroom is better.” You both laugh, leaving the two of you in a comfortable silence as your phone buzzes with texts from Evelina.

‘This means you love him!’

‘No it does not. Who says I have to wear underwear under a dress?’

‘You never go without underwear. Admit you love him.’

‘I don’t love him.’

‘Do you like him?’ 

You take a minute to think, looking up from your phone to see Matthew watching the road. Like and love are two different things. You liked Elias, but did you like him in the same way you liked Matthew? Did you like anyone in the way you liked Matthew? ‘Sure.’ You roll your eyes as you hit send when Matthew finally puts the car in park. You didn’t even realize you were at the venue. Matthew gets out of the car, practically running to the passenger side to open the door and help you out. With your arm linked with his, you head inside, “Who would have thought you could be such a gentleman?” you tease. 

“Only for you, babe,” he says, sending a wink your way before dropping your arm to greet some of his teammates. “I’m going to get us some drinks?” he says, leaving you before asking you what you wanted. 

You wander around, finding Elias and making conversation with him while you wait for Matthew to come back. You had wanted a vodka sour, but would he come back with that?

“You look amazing, Y/N,” Elias starts, a smile on his face not unlike the one Matthew normally gives you. 

You feel yourself blushing at his comments, unable to hide the heat that was showing in your cheeks, “You look pretty great, too.” 

“Maybe at some point tonight, you’ll save a dance for me?” he asks, moving closer to you. This was the teammate that you’ve had a slight crush on since you met Matthew, so why didn’t you feel the same way with him as you did with Matthew? His hand reaches for your waist, but you move away from him, giving him an innocent smile before turning to see Matthew standing behind you with a drink in each hand.

He tried to hide the pain he felt watching Elias flirt with you. He knew you liked his teammate, and it was clear that Elias was seeing something in you that he hadn’t seen before. But you smile at Matthew, one very different from the one you had given his teammate. A real, genuine smile that reached your eyes. Matthew knew you felt the same way about him as he did about you from that, he just didn’t know if you knew. “Vodka sour for my girl,” he says, handing you the drink you had wanted.

You feel your knees buckle ever so slightly at the sound of hearing Matthew call him your girl, taking your free hand in his, intertwining your fingers. You immediately felt a warmth rushing through you as he gave you a soft smile, taking a sip of drink before starting a conversation with Elias. You start to look around at everyone surrounding you. The dance floor was crowded, you itching to get out there with Matthew. You both finish your drinks, probably too fast, but who cared? “Hey, can we go dance?” you ask Matthew before turning to Elias, “I don’t think you’ll be able to pry my from my guy tonight, Lindy, but if he lets you, I guess you can try.”

You drag him out to the dancefloor, your hands never losing connection as he looks back and smirks at Elias. The look on his face tells Matthew that this was intentional, whatever plan he had concocted working as a slow song came on. Matthew used his free hand to pull you in by the waist, your other hand on his shoulder as you swayed to the rhythm of the music. 

Your mind starts running free as you think about dance, Matthew chuckling before letting out, “You know something about the history of dance, don’t you?”

“How would you know I know that?” you ask him, shocked that he read your mind for a second time tonight.

He shrugs, spinning you away from him before bringing you close, his front pressed against you back as he whispered, “It just sounds like something you would know.” He spins you back around so you’re facing each other, him beaming down at you. “Go ahead,” he teases you.

“It’s specific towards Canada, is that ok with you?”

He leans down, his curls tickling your face, “Anything you say to me is fine.” 

“The first written record of dance in Canada,” you start, “was by Jacques Cartier in the 1530s. He described a group of Indigenous people dancing in modern day Quebec, but it’s obviously likely that this was going on way before he encountered them.” Matthew pulls you in closer, still moving with the music as you rest your head on his shoulder. He plants a soft, long kiss on your head as you continue. “Because of the idea 'assimilate or exterminate,’ where these Indigenous people had to either change their culture to fit that of the European settlers, or risk their culture being destroyed in its entirety, their practices of dance declined until the late 1990s when groups began investing more time into preserving these sacred dances as part of Aboriginal and Canadian culture.”

You lift your head off his shoulder as he starts kissing your neck, everyone around you disappearing as you felt his lips connect with your bare skin. “Europeans settlers brought their own forms of dance to the country, eventually infusing together to create new forms. Famous dancers like Martha Graham, Anna Pavlova and Ruth St. Denis started touring the United States and Canada, leaving their own imprint on the culture.” 

He lifts his head, his forehead against yours. You could feel him grow hard the more you talked, his dick pressed against you as you stifled a moan. “Modern dance got its start in Canada nearly a decade before ballet,” you say, Matthew kissing your forehead before connecting his back to yours, “In the 1940s, Montreal became the central hub for modern dance, and stayed that way for a while. Ballet came about in a professional manner, companies developing their own identities before performing and going onto the world stage.”

The song changes and you stop moving. Staring at each other, you finish, “All of it comes together into the dance we know today.”

“Y/N,” Matthew starts, obviously staring at your lips. He wanted to kiss you. He didn’t care that his entire team was around him; he didn’t notice anyone there but you. 

You don’t know what to say to him. You take your hands off his shoulders, cupping his face. His grip tightens around your waist, a confused look of his face. 

‘Fuck it,’ you think to yourself, just like you did the other day. Your lips connect with his, everything around you melting away as you moved in sync with each other. His tongue swipes your bottom lip, begging to enter your mouth, you gladly letting him. You can feel him smiling as his hands move up your back, your hands falling down to his chest. You pull away, both of you breathing slightly unevenly. Why did you just do that? You weren’t upset that you did, but why did you just do that?

“Wow,” he whispers to you, kissing you softly again. 

“Wow is right,” you let out. 

“Hey, uh, Matty?” you hear Elias’ voice behind you. You pull away from each other, both of you slightly embarrassed that he, along with everyone else, probably just saw that. “We’re trying to do a team photo,” he says, looking like he was trying to stifle a laugh or something. 

Matthew swallows, nodding and dropping his hands from your body. “I’ll find you later,” he reassures you before leaving. 

You try to catch your breath as you run to find your phone. ‘SOS’ you text Evelina, praying that she was looking at her phone and not already asleep.

‘What?’

Your fingers hover over the screen of your phone. Do you tell her what just happened? You tell her everything, so why would you leave this out? 

‘I have another thing to add to the list’

‘This list needs to be electronic so I don’t have to get out of bed every time you think of something new’

‘Do you want to know or not’

‘Duh’

‘The way he reads my mind’

‘That’s dumb, but fine. Are you at least having fun?’

‘Yeah.’ You put your phone away before you can say anything else to her. If she found out you kissed each other - no, if she found out you kiss him, she would have a field day. You would never hear the end of it, list or not. All you had to do was rejoin the event and hope you could find Matthew.

Staying off the side, watching the event unfold, you couldn’t find him anywhere. There was something fun about seeing all the guys and their wives and girlfriends dressed up like they were, whatever photo they were doing clearly taken. The season ticket holders and management looked good, even though you had no idea who any of them were. 

“Hey,” you hear a man’s voice say to you, taking you out of the trance as you fixated on Johnny and Meridith, admiring the way they looked at each other while they were dancing. If they were back out on the dance floor, Matthew had to be following suit soon, right? “I’m Reggie.” He sticks out his hand, you smiling at him to shake it as you introduce yourself. “So, are you here with someone, or are you a ticket holder?”

“I’m here with one of the guys,” you say, trying to see if you can find him anywhere. Something about this guy wasn’t quite right, and you really prayed for an out from talking with him. 

“Really? Which one?”

“Me,” you hear Matthew’s voice say, his arms wrapping around you as you feel your shoulders relax. “Thanks for keeping my girl company.” Reggie just nods and smiles, walking away and leaving the two of you in the position you were in. Matthew holds you tighter, your hands reaching up to touch his. “You are the most beautiful girl here,” he whispers.

“You’re just saying that,” you tell him, feeling his breath on your neck as he lets out a sigh. “What if I said you were the most handsome guy here?” 

He freezes, swallowing hard and thankful that he was behind you so you couldn’t see the grin covering his face. Calling you his girl was something he said just to get the guy away, but after that comment, after that kiss, there was nothing more he wanted than to call you that and mean it. “What if we get out of here?” he whispers, kissing you between your shoulder blades. 

A chill runs down your shine as he kisses along your back, moving your hair to your shoulder as you can’t help but let out a low moan, “Matthew.” 

He moves his way up your neck, ending at your ear, “Come on. Do you want to go somewhere more private?” he whispers before his teeth connect with your earlobe. You didn’t expect that to do what it did to you. 

When he pulls away, you turn to him, mirroring the smile on his face. “Where did you have in mind?”

“Is it too early to leave?” you ask him, running your hands down his chest. 

“I’m ready if you are, babe,” he says, kissing you softly on your lips yet again. God, he hoped this was the start of something. Knowing what this was like, he could only imagine what more would be. 

He takes your hand, leading you back out to his car. You look back over your shoulder before leaving the building, out of sheer curiosity as to whether or not anyone saw you. You make eye contact with Elias, who winks, raising his glass in the air to you as the two of you disappear through the door. “Your place or mine?” he asks as the two of you practically sprinted to his car. Given what you were both sure was about to happen, he answers his own question, “Mine, got it.” 

You couldn’t concentrate the entire way to his place, thinking about what this was going to be like. You both wanted it and didn’t. You didn’t love him. You couldn’t love him. Evelina was in no way right about you being in love with each other. You just were both horny, right? That’s all it was?

Matthews hands don’t leave your body once you get out of the car. Whatever cameras were around the lobby of his building, the elevator, the hallway leading to his door caught everything. He was kissing you passionately, as if doing this was something that he had been waiting for. His hands gripped your butt, so tight that you had to hold back a scream of pleasure as he sucked away at your neck, something he seemed to like doing more than you expected. 

You were surprised your clothes were even still on by the time you get to his door. You could only imagine how red and bruised your neck was, the handprints that had to be left on your ass from him, your mind going blank as you were sure you would regret anything. 

You practically rip off his suit jacket, both of you impatient to get everything off each other. “Are you sure you’re ok with this?” he stops, his hands on the zipper of your dress as you bounced up and down, dripping with anticipation.

“All you have to do is take off the dress,” you tell him, his eyes going wide.

He swallows hard, “N-nothing underneath?” he asks you. That would mean that you were expecting something to happen tonight, right? Or did it mean nothing? He really hoped it meant the first thing. 

“Yes, take it off, come on,” you whine. 

He does as you ask, his lips connecting with yours, simultaneously taking off your dress and leaving it in the hallway while you unbutton his shirt and leave it there with it. You were down to nothing as he threw you on the bed, him rushing to take his pants off to climb on top of you. You spread your legs for him as he climbs on top off you, kissing you from your hip bone up to your mouth. “You’re really sure?” he asks you, in a quiet voice.

You nod, taking his face in your hands, “I’m sure,” you say before he kisses you again. You give him all the access he wants, the tip of his dick rubbing against your already wet opening, teasing you as you whined for him, “Fuck me, Matty.”

“I will, baby,” he says, pushing his hips against yours as he enters inside you. 

You spend the night, both of you kissing, whining, moaning, begging for each other, everything you had ever imagined with any other guy, you were doing with Matthew. You didn’t want it to be anyone else.

You were so busy, so hungry for everything Matthew had to offer, you didn’t know your phone was buzzing, texts from Evelina flooding your phone.

‘Where are you????’

‘You were supposed to be home by now.’

‘Why isn’t your phone location updating? Elias said you guys left hours ago.’

‘Please tell me you’re ok.’

[masterjedilenawrites]

The Sniper and The Medic: Chapter 10

Starring: Crosshair, OC Joan Vo

Chapter Warnings: Discussions of bullying, death, injuries, and other tragic things, offset by a lil fluff at the end

Taglist: @proadhog @skippyhopperwisdom

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

A/N: Just want to quickly apologize for the 2 week delay in updating this story, but also this will be my 99th post on this blog which is kinda fitting once you read it, so I guess some things are just meant to be...

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Chapter 10: Good Grief

He met her at the designated place that evening, barely able to contain the mixture of excitement and dread that welled within him. On the one hand, Crosshair welcomed any opportunity to spend time with Joan, especially after she had shown interest in wanting to grow closer to him. She looked as beautiful as ever when she joined him, wearing her cute little shorts and signature smile.

But on the other hand, they were running out of time. He deployed tomorrow afternoon. How could they possibly grow closer in such a short window?

And how could he possibly say good-bye if they did? 

He led her through the set of double doors and down a long hallway, keeping his strides as relaxed as he could, despite his every nerve being on edge. She walked fairly close alongside him, but nothing too scandalous. Not that it was likely they'd be caught. This part of the facility was more-or-less abandoned, only used to house the more rarely-used supplies for the maintenance crew. Half the walls were stripped of their usual white sheen, revealing cracked plaster and dirty insulation instead. Only a few like himself knew it was a good place to go when in need of some privacy.

But there was also something here he wanted to show Joan. A way to help her understand his life as a defective clone. He wasn't sure why the idea had popped into his head earlier; he should have just suggested the simulation room again, programmed it to a nice, romantic beach or something. But it was too late to go back now.

They neared the door in question and Crosshair punched in the code. He gestured for Joan to walk in ahead of him, wanting to keep an eye on her reactions.

It was barely considered a room, more of a corridor that was meant to connect this hallway with another. A motion-sensor light flickered on as they entered. Miscellaneous boxes and crates had been pushed up against the wall on the left, dusty and unimportant. It was the righthand wall that gave this space significance. It had long been reduced to its concrete foundation, and chiseled crudely over most of its surface were names and numbers. The largest script was in the top left corner, only two symbols.

"Ninety-nine," Joan read out loud as she stood in the center of the room and looked over the wall in reverence. "This is a memorial."

Crosshair nodded. "All the clones who've died here, never stepping foot into battle. Most of them defects, like 99. Their names won't be found anywhere else. This... is their only legacy."

She nodded at him solemnly in understanding. He watched as she brushed her hands over some of the etchings, fingers tracing the lines as she read them over. There were mostly numbers, many of them not having lived long enough to find a nickname. One of his own batch-mates had been like that, only living a few short years before his defective heart had given out. 

Crosshair tore his gaze away from Joan to find his brother's number on the wall. Beneath it was the second lost brother, who had made it just a little longer. Scraps, they'd called him. He brought his hand up to rest alongside their names, frowning deeply at the memories they gave him.

He felt Joan come to stand next to him and he swallowed hard.

"He was sick all the time, but he kept trying," he explained. "He was worse off than me, and yet I was the kid who cried every night, and he'd talk me down. He'd tell me we had to keep fighting, we had to prove them all wrong. And then one day... he was gone. He'd failed some test and they just... they took him and...."

He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. Thankfully Joan didn't need him to. She laced her fingers through his and squeezed reassuringly.

"They told me I'd be next," he said, his voice getting lower. "The Kaminoans. The training Sergeants. The other cadets. With Wrecker, Hunter, it was obvious they'd be useful, their mutations were fine. But me? What was I good for? Who could look at me and know what I was capable of?"

His words hung between them for a short while before Joan gave another squeeze of his hand.

"I'm so sorry, Crosshair," she said and he knew she meant it. "You deserved better. They all did. But... I know this might not sound quite right, but without that pain, you might not have become as determined and passionate and committed and loyal as you are now."

He finally looked away from the wall and down at her, surprised that she remembered the words he'd once written for her, all those months ago. The words he believed embodied who he really was.

"You didn't let your past break you. You used it to make you stronger. You should be proud of that."

He had never been told such a thing before. He'd never been given permission to feel proud, to take ownership of his life. It made him feel... relieved. To know that all of his struggles could mean something made the burden of grief that much lighter to bear.

And to hear it coming from Joan made him feel things, too. He realized he wanted to kiss her. She was standing somewhat close, her fingers were still grasping his own. She seemed to be enough at ease, comfortable here with him, even in such a sad moment. But he panicked and looked away before he could act on such impulses. He still didn't know what she wanted, or any of the things she'd alluded to having gone through herself. It didn't feel right to make to such an intimate move yet.

"Um, we can talk about you now," he stuttered awkwardly, overly aware of how clammy his hand felt under hers. "If you want...."

She laughed a little, but it wasn't a joyful sound. "I'm afraid my story's not any happier."

"Oh."

She cocked her head a little and reached up with her free hand to lightly touch the tattoo around his eye. "Didn't get a chance to tell you before, but I really like this. It's perfect."

He smirked but kept his eyes carefully fixed on hers, waiting. She seemed to be deciding what she wanted to say.

"Not sure if you've seen my own." She tried to sound playful, letting go of his hand in order to turn slightly and show off the splattering of tattooed birds around the thick scar on her thigh. "It's... kind of a memorial, too."

Joan looked toward the wall and took in a measured breath. "When the war started, my family did what we could to help. But then comes the Republic with its grand, shiny new army, and they tell us they've got it from here. Go home. My parents listened... I didn't. I couldn't. No, I marched up to the first battalion I could find and I told them I'd be helping them whether they liked it or not. They were the 116th, led by Commander Crowe."

She held a small smile on her face, fondness peeking through the sorrow like rays of sunlight into a curtained room.

"Your brothers," said Crosshair knowingly.

"Mmhmm.... They were so good to me. They taught me everything I know. We went through so much together. And then one day..." she looked over at Crosshair apologetically as she borrowed his previous words to tell her own story, "my speeder exploded, messed up my leg really bad. I did everything I could to try and fix it myself, but we were short on supplies and it just wasn't getting any better. Crowe insisted I go to Coruscant for treatment. I didn't want to, I hadn't been apart from them in years, but there was no choice."

And then the curtains were snapped shut and all that was left on Joan's face was sorrow. Sorrow and darkness.

"They died while I was recovering. All of them. A single missile to their ship somewhere in deep space. And that was it. No more 116th battalion. No more family."

Instinctually, Crosshair reached for Joan's hand as she had done for him. She seemed surprised, breaking out of her haze and looking at his hand like it was the only thing grounding her.

"I should have died with them," she said in a hoarse voice. "At least, that's what I told myself for seven months. Until Cody came. He'd been good friends with Crowe, knew all about me. He told me to get over myself. That I was still alive for a reason and that I did nothing to honor their memories by letting myself waste away. And then he offered me a job, said I could help some of his other brothers, the way I'd done for the 116th."

Slowly her sadness was fading and Crosshair was grateful. It was easier to hold on to his own pain and learn to live with it, but seeing the same feelings in Joan had scared him. He didn't know what to do to help her. As she wrapped up her story, though, he began to realize that he already had.

"He said it was an experimental unit and that none of you would look like, well, the regular clones, so maybe it'd be easier for me to get back into it. And it was. I knew I loved all of you boys from the first day. You were all confident and eager. None of the battle-worn spirits I was used to dealing with. You gave me life again. Helped me rediscover my purpose. My passion."

She took a step closer to him, holding his hand back firmly.

"You were the tough one," she smirked. "You're so calm and relaxed, so sure of yourself. Any time I felt anxious or like I wasn't making a difference, I knew I could count on you to put me at ease. Even when you were a little sassy."

She giggled, but Crosshair's mind was reeling. She thought he was the assured one? This whole time she'd been seeing him the same way he saw her?

"And then, you know, you stood me up that one day," she sighed dramatically and then it was his stomach that started doing flips as the regret from his actions returned. "Which happened to be the, uh, anniversary of their passing.... And I didn't think I'd be able to do anything that day, except that I knew you'd be coming by, and so I actually got out of bed and did some chores and saw other patients.... And I was trying to think of ways I could keep you for longer than just a consult on your injury. I was going to have you teach me darts and maybe help me sneak some good snacks from somewhere or ask to get a tour of your new ship...."

She was looking up at him with bright eyes and the thought of kissing her returned. She was definitely close enough now, and as he made eye contact, she couldn't seem to remember what she was going to say next, her voice trailing off into short little breaths.

"I really am sorry," he said, stalling for time. He wasn't sure why he kept hesitating when it was something he wanted so desperately. So much for her thinking he was confident.

"I know," she said softly. Was she leaning closer or was he?

"I... I'm leaving tomorrow," he said.

"I know." Both of their hands were clasped in each other's now, pulses beating rapidly beneath hopeful grips.

"And," he kept going, even though the space between them was continuing to grow smaller, "I've never done this before."

"I know." She grinned, and that undid him.

Whatever self-conscious walls he'd put up for whatever irrational reasons came crumbling down as he finally closed the gap and pressed his lips against hers.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[prettyboyjackhughes]

-Little Crosby- |D. Cozens| [Part 3]

Part 3! Honestly, I think this might be my favorite part so far! But thank you for all the support and love you guys have given this story so far! Also, thanks to @prettyboycozens​ for all her amazing ideas and support she’s given me! Let me know what you guys think! Enjoy!

Also, here’s the link for the playlist again!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4HG4PMWBlx3woCb5T33wXY?si=28fe34362e8b4442

Dylan and I spent almost every free minute I had together after that night. Dad’s busy with business things and the uncles have been doing God knows what all day, every day. So really, Carter and I have spent the last week of our trip by ourselves. Dad actually decided we’re going to stay in Toronto for the rest of the month and the first half of next month, giving me more time with Dylan.  Taylor went to visit some college friends back in Nova Scotia and had offered to take us with her, since Grandma and Grandpa were there but we decided to stay in Toronto. Carter and Kirby were together just as much, but they mainly just made out and cuddled.

As the 4 of us pile into Kirby’s car to go get ice cream late one Friday night, Carter and Kirby in the front seat, and Dylan and I in the backseat, Dylan won’t let go of my hand.

“Dill Pickle, I’m not going anywhere. You can let go.” I say, patting his knee as Kirby starts the car. Dill Pickle is the nickname I started calling him the other day and have now decided it’s his new nickname.

“Nope, I like it better this way.” He says, tugging me across the seat so I’m closer to him. As we start to drive, Carter starts to play music, gracing us with her awesome DJ skills.

“This is shitty music.” Kirby says, looking over at Carter. Her brow furrows.

“If you want what we talked about later, you’ll shut up and deal with my shitty music.” She says, leaning towards him. He smirks and leans over to steal a kiss. I attempt to keep my eyes from rolling and look over at Dylan who is paying no attention to anything going on in the car.

“What even is this?” Kirby asks, his hand slipping over between Carter’s thighs. Their relationship is much more physical than Dylan and mine is. And honestly, I’m okay with that. I like taking things slow with Dylan.

“This is the wonderful, amazing, talented band One Direction who happens to be the loves of Ava and I’s lives.” Carter says, looking back at me with a smile. I nod and Dylan suddenly rejoins the conversation.

“I know this song!” He says, tapping on my hand with his thumb. I laugh and lean my head on his shoulder.

“I have loved you since we were 18…” He sings terribly. I laugh as he looks up at me. And as he looks up at me, my heart flutters. The words he just sang register in my mind.

“Oh wow.” I mutter, shifting away from Dylan.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asks, sitting up and looking over at me.

“N-Nothing. No I’m okay.” I say as Kirby pulls the car into a parking spot at the ice cream place. Carter glances back, checking to see that I’m okay and I nod quickly, keeping my hand clutched in Dylan’s.

“What ice cream are you gonna get? I think I might get…” Dylan says, his voice trailing off. Carter and Kirby walk inside but Dylan pulls me to a stop.

“Hey, Avs. You okay?” He asks, wrapping his arms around my waist and looking at me.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He raises an eyebrow and looks down at me.

“You’re freaking over something, I can tell.” I shake my head, attempting to step back away from him.

“Ava, come on. Tell me.” Dylan asks, his eyes begging.

“You said that you love me. Earlier. In the song? I-I didn’t think we were there yet. I mean, we aren’t even together yet!” I say, finally bursting. Dylan steps back, a confused look on his face.

“Wait, Ava, you’re freaking out over that?” He says, looking down at me.

“I know it’s stupid and that I shouldn’t be freaking out but I am!” I say, throwing my hands up in the air. He pulls them down, trapping my fingers between his.

“Ava, Ava! It’s okay! You want to know how I feel? What’s happened between us over the last month? I never thought I’d fall this hard for someone, especially someone who just appeared in my life. You’re...You’re the most important thing to me and I love being around you. You’re beautiful and funny, sometimes.” He says, looking down and smirking at me. I roll my eyes and he starts to talk again.

“I guess what I’m saying is, I want you to be my girlfriend. But I need to be honest. What I’m saying is, I don’t not love you.” My heart falls, just for a second, but then I realize what he just said.

“You jerk! I love you too.” I say, swatting his shoulder as he pulls me in and hugs me to his chest.

“Now that you know that, can we please go get ice cream?” He asks before he presses his lips to my cheek. I nod and we walk into the ice cream parlor. Kirby and Carter and huddled in a corner booth, both eating their ice cream. Carter rushes over to me as I tell Dylan that I want a vanilla milkshake.

“You two took forever. Did you get lost?” She asks, nudging me as Dylan orders for the two of us. Carter and I head back towards the table Kirby is sitting at. As we reach him, he stands up and plants a kiss on Carter’s lips.

“Mmm, you taste like chocolate.” She says. I turn to look back at Dylan who is now licking his ice cream and hands me my milkshake.

“Can we go to that park out by the pond?” I ask, looking over at Dylan next to me. He looks over at Kirby who nods.

“I call the car!” Kirby says, nudging Dylan as we walk out to the car. Carter looks over at me with an evil grin on her face. I roll my eyes and sling my arm over her shoulders.

“Be responsible kids!” I say as we climb in the car. Kirby laughs and shakes his head.

We’re all pretty quiet on the drive over to the park, finishing our ice cream. The only noise is the radio playing quietly and the noises from my straw. We pull into the parking lot of the park, which the sign says closes at dark but there’s no one around to stop us from going in. Dylan leads me out of the car and we settle on the ground next to some trees.

“You know you get the most boring ice cream in the entire world, right?” Dylan says, nudging me as I curl into his chest.

“Mhm. What did you end up getting?” I ask, looking at him as he eats the last bite of his cone.

“It was some Hawiian island thing. Pretty good but not the best thing I’ve had.” He says, smiling down at me as I glanced up at him. His eyes find mine and then flick down to my lips. I climb onto his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.

“You’re pretty.” He says as his lips brush against mine.

“You’re a cutie.” I say as his lips finally hit mine. It takes my breath away in a second. It’s everything I wished it would be and more. He knows exactly what to do and it makes my mind race. But the longer it goes on, the harder it gets for me to breath.

“Hold on hold on.” I gasp, pulling away from Dylan.

“I-I can’t breath.” I choke out. He looks at me, concerned. As I gasp, his face goes from concerned to terrified.

“Carter!” He yells, looking between me and the car. Somehow she hears him and gets out of the car. As I sit there, struggling to breath and choking every breath out, Carter starts to yell in spanish at Dylan, something she does when she’s stressed or angry.

“¿Qué sucedió? ¿Qué le hiciste a ella?” She yells, running towards us. Kirby gets out behind her, his hair messed up.

“I don’t know what you’re saying. Don’t yell at me!” He yells back.

“¡Idiota, llama a su papá o al 911 o algo así!” She yells again. Kirby finally steps up and is the voice of reason.

“Either call her dad or call 911! Don’t just stand there!” Dylan finally snaps out of shock and grabs my phone. Dad and all my uncles’ numbers are in my emergency contacts. So all he has to do is slide the lock screen and press Dad’s name.

“It’s ringing! Oh God.” He says, holding his hand up and showing everyone how much he’s shaking.

“Hi, um I’m your daughter’s boyfriend, Dylan. Um we’re taking her to the hospital. Because I think she’s having an allergic reaction.” He says, running his hand through his hair. He glances between me and Carter, a terrified look on his face.

“Yes Sir. Yes Sir. I’ll have Carter text you what hospital. Okay, bye.” He sticks my phone in his pocket then helps me to my feet as I fight for every breath. The next 45 minutes are a complete blur. Kirby rushes us to the hospital where Dad and all the uncles are all waiting. I get rushed into the emergency room and everyone else has to wait in the waiting room. It turns out I was having a severe allergic reaction to coconut, which happened to be in the ice cream Dylan had. When he kissed me, it triggered the allergy. Somehow, in the last 18 years, I managed to avoid coconut. But the doctors decided to keep me at the hospital overnight since I was still struggling to breath a little. They were also worried that I might have another reaction. Dad and everyone was allowed in to see me after the doctor decided I was somewhat stable for the night. Everyone else tells me how happy they are that I’m okay and everything. Dylan gets a few minutes alone with me and presses a kiss to my forehead.

“Avs, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’ll make it up to you.” He says, his eyes sad. I smile and pat his hand.

“I wanna kiss you but I messed that up last time. So we’ll try that again another time. But I can hug you.” He pulls me into his chest and I sigh.

“Hey, Baby, don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault. I didn’t even know either so it wasn’t your fault.” I say as Dad walks back in. Dylan looks up and nods.

“Ava needs to get some rest now. Dylan, Kirby and Carter are heading back home. You might want to go with them.” He says, crossing his arms. Dad walks back out of the room, leaving Dylan and I alone to say goodbye.

“He’s mad.” I say, sighing.

“It’s because of me, isn’t it? I’m sorry Avs.” I shake my head.

“Nope, this is because of me. I decided not to tell him. Don’t worry about it, Dill Pickle.” I say, smiling. He kisses my forehead again and says goodbye.

I somehow manage to sleep a little that night but wake up in a terrible mood. The food at the hospital sucks and the only sustainable thing I’ve eaten in the last 24 hours was the milkshake last night.    

Dad still isn’t speaking to me. Which I understand why he’s upset. I mean, I did almost die less than 24 hours ago. But the reason why he isn’t talking to me is because of Dylan, not because I almost died.

“I can’t believe you went behind your dad’s back! What were you thinking, Little Crosby?” Kris asks, sitting on the side of the hospital bed I’ve spent the night in.

“Okay, calm down. This wasn’t entirely her fault. Yeah it was dumb to sneak out of trhe hotel with a boy none of us knew but she didn’t know she was allergic to coconut. But you definitely should not have been kissing that boy.” Marc says, looking down at me with a glare. Carter sits in the corner, on her phone and silent. My family is scattered around the room, with Dad standing in the doorway of the room. The doctor said I should be able to go home tonight. Dad decided we were just going to spend the rest of the month up in Toronto, after my “little stunt” last night. Dad also has my phone, meaning that if Dylan has texted or called, I didn’t know.

“What were you thinking?” Dad finally asks, taking a few steps towards the bed. Suddenly everyone clears out of the room.

“I was thinking that the boy I like wanted to spend time with me. And I wanted to spend time with him. But you wouldn’t like that so I went behind your back.” Dad scoffs.

“Ava, you have to talk to me about things! We’ve never had problems like this before. I thought we were closer than this.” Dad says, sitting down on the bed next to me.

“Dad, I wanted to! I tried to! But you were convinced that the only guys I needed were you, my uncles and Grandpa. You basically told me that having a boyfriend was out of the question! What was I supposed to do?” His hand rests on my knee, and he looks at me hard.

“Honey, I just want to protect you.” He says, stroking my knee.

“You’ve never been like this. You’ve always let me figure things out on my own. You’ve let me do it on my own because I was smart and could handle it. But now all of the sudden, you’ve decided to get protective?” I ask, crossing my arms and pulling my knees up into my chest.

“My little girl is growing up before my eyes. You’re not gonna need me anymore and it’s hard to let go of you. All I can think about is how it used to just be me and you. Remember all the things we did during the first few seasons in Pittsburgh?” I swallow, watching Dad, whose eyes are starting to tear up. My mind wanders to one of the few memories I have from those first few years.

I was 4 when Dad played his first season in the NHL. He moved the two of us into an apartment in downtown Pittsburgh right at the beginning of training camp. I don’t remember much from the first few seasons. But one story Dad tends to avoid, is the one that sticks out in my memory the most. If it ever gets brought up, I always pretend I don’t remember it because it’s a hard topic for Dad.

Right before his first road trip, one where my grandparents would be keeping me for the week, he took me out for a daddy-daughter day. We got pizza for lunch, played at the park, visited the arena that would become Dad and my second home, bought me my first Penguins jersey with Crosby spelled out proudly across the back, had ice cream twice, and just got to spend time together. But then she showed up. For the first time in 4 years, my mom walked back into our life.

“Sid! Sidney Crosby!” She called across the restaurant. Dad looked up, his eyes confused and stormy.

“What are you doing here, Jenna?” He asked, standing up and crossing his arms. I sat there, happily eating my cheese pizza. I was completely oblivious to what was going on above me.

“I wanted to see you! And my little girl!” She said, rushing to him and hugging him. He stiffens and pushes her away.

“You haven’t wanted anything to do with us for the past 4 years. Why now all of the sudden?” He asked, staring her down.

“I decided I want to be in my little girl’s life. Things are getting busy for you now, Sid. You won’t have time to take care of Ava the way she needs. I can.” He scoffs.

“Besides, she’s my little girl. I know how to raise her. You don’t want her weighing you down now that you’re going to be a big NHL star.” Dad puts his hand up, forcing her to stop speaking. He looks down at me, at the pizza sauce covering my face and the front of my shirt. But the thing that stops him is the huge smile I have covering my face when I look up and see him.

“Hi Daddy. Love you.” I say, blowing him a kiss. His glare softens and he looks back up at my mom.

“You’re not taking her, Jenna. You haven’t been in her life for 4 years. I’ve raised her by myself for 4 years because you decided you didn’t want to be a mom anymore. Why would things change now? You don’t get to decide when you want to be a mother and when you don’t.” Mom reels back, baffled.

“You’re trying to tell me whether or not I can be a mother? To my own daughter? You’ve gotta be kidding me, Sid!” And as she starts to cause a scene, Dad seems to grow 10 feet and stares her down.

“No Jenna. You don’t get to do this to us again. You’ll just walk out on her again and I’m not putting my little girl through that. Get out. You’re not allowed to see her.” Of course, Mom threw a fit, claiming she was going to take him to court for custody. She had to be escorted out by security. Dad’s PR team did a really good job with everything, keeping the court case under wraps and making sure nothing got out about Mom’s fit at the restaurant. That was pretty much the start of Dad hiding me away from the world until I was old enough to understand his world that he lived in. Dad obviously ended up winning custody, considering the fact that he had raised me since I was born, with no help from my mom. I spent a lot of time in Minnesota with my grandparents during Dad’s first season. He wanted me with him but he didn’t want me to see everything going on with my mom. But in the end, that was what was best for Dad and I. During my times in Minnesota was when he got close with the men who I now call my uncles. Once I was a little older, Dad sat me down and explained everything to me. He explained why Mom wasn’t in the picture at all, how my uncles came to be my uncles and the fact that during that first season, he considered just signing custody over to Grandma and Grandpa. He had convinced himself that he couldn’t give me what I needed, just like Mom had said. He told me how Geno, Kris and Marc had sat him down and talked him out of it, reminding me how much he loved me and the fact that every goal, every assist; every little thing he did on the ice was because of a little girl almost a thousand miles in Minnesota. And to this day, he reminds me that he’s never regretted the decision to keep his little girl with him.  

Ever since then, Dad made sure I knew that he loved me more than anything else and would give up the world and everything else for me. He made sure that I was surrounded by people who would love me and take care of me, the same way he would. Everything Dad has done since I was little, he’s made sure it’s been the best option for both of us. Nothing was ever about him.        

But then one day I asked him why he and Mom never worked out. He got this faraway look in his eyes and I almost wondered if he would actually start talking.

“Honey, your mom and I weren’t meant to be together in the future. She was the type of girl that everyone warns you about. The one that’ll break your heart, no matter what. I was away from my parents for the first time and we were stupid. We were young. Too young to be as reckless as we were. But I was convinced I loved her. Do I regret what happened? No because you know why? It gave me you and you are the light of my life, Sweet girl.” Dad said, suddenly coming back to reality and looking down at me.

“Daddy, I’m always going to need you. You’re my dad. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. But this is something that was bound to happen. Daddy, Dylan won’t hurt me. He cares about me. He didn’t mean for what happened last night to happen. I want you to meet him, Dad.” Dad’s eyes are still shining.

“Dad, I’ve actually found someone I really like. He’s kind, smart, sweet, genuine; everything you would want me to have in a guy. He’s got the worst sense of humor, just like you. He takes care of me, I mean he did get me to the hospital. But Daddy, you’ll always be the first man that really loved me. And nothing will ever change that. You held me so tight, now it’s someone else’s turn. ” He smiles, his features soft and a few tears slipping out.

“Baby, you know you’ll always be my little girl.” He says, hugging me to his chest. I wrap my arms around him and take a deep breath of his smell. He smells familiar; like my childhood.

“Hey Ava? There’s someone here to see you…” Carter says, walking in and knocking on the door frame. A few feet behind her, Dylan stands with a bouquet of flowers.

“Hey Avs…” He says, his voice trailing off as he makes eye contact with Dad. Dad stands up and crosses his arms.

“Dad, meet Dylan Cozens. Dill Pickle, this is my dad, Sidney Crosby.” Dylan reaches his hand out and Dad shakes it.

“Nice to meet you sir.” Dad nods, his face straight. Slowly, everyone starts to trickle back into the room. I glance towards the door and see Carter and Kirby in the hallway, obviously discussing something. He leans down and catches her chin in his hand and pulls her in for a kiss. Dad and the uncles have started their interrogation of Dylan, which he seems to be handling very well. He looks over at me and winks, which makes my heart melt. After a few minutes, he manages to get away and settles onto the bed next to me.

“Can I kiss you now?” He whispers in my ear and I turn to look at him with a smile.

“As long as you haven’t eaten any coconut lately.” He laughs and leans in.

“If it means I can’t kiss you, then I’m never eating coconut anything again.” He whispers against my lips. My heart melts and I realise just how hard I’ve fallen for Dylan Cozens. Harder than I’ve ever planned on falling for anyone. He easily has my entire heart.

Tag list:

@theblushinglittle

@2manytabsopen

@nhlboyshavemyhart88​

@kirbyy-dach​

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette chp 4, part 2: visiting bertholdt’s dad

an: so, i did finish this chapter the same night i promised to drop it but my chapters only get engagement at a certain time, so i’m dropping it rn! i don’t have a lot of questions for the boys rn but i’ll work with what i have and what i get from this chapter and will post them during my trip! link at the bottom!

tags: black, fem reader, sickly parent, mentions of d**th (but no one d*es)

tag list: @taybird

You slept over at Connie's house as planned. See, now, Connie's parents are sneaky. They intentionally made their guest room unavailable to you and forced you to sleep with Connie in his old room. Connie was completely respectful around you. He stepped out so that you could take a bath and everything and you did the same for him while he got ready. Once you were both ready, Connie wished you goodnight and turned on his side before snoring away.

The next morning, Connie's mom made you and Connie breakfast as you both got ready. The rest of his family was sleeping in, which made things easier because you know you would be chatting it up with his family.

You were supposed to meet Bertholdt's dad today. He was extremely sick and could pass any moment. You wished he was your first visit but it is what is right? You promised Bertholdt that Connie would drop you off at the hospital.

You thanked Mrs. Springer for the breakfast and asked her to say to the rest of the family for you. Connie dealt with the suitcase and waited patiently in the car. You pulled out your phone and texted Levi, asking him to tell Bertholdt that you were on his way. The older man left you on read. You weren't sure if he knew how to use a phone. Or he could be faking that too to throw you off.

Connie finally got things settled and sat with you in the car. He looks at you before starting the car. "I'll put your things together when I get to the mansion. Try to have fun with Bertholdt and make this visit worth it," Connie advises. "Thank you, Connie, I really appreciate your words."

It took you an hour to get to the hospital. You thanked Connie for dropping you off. On a normal occasion, you'd watch him drive off and continue saying bye but you couldn't waste any time today.

You reached the hospital and had to look for the lobby Bertholdt was probably in. You weren't regularly in hospitals so you were shocked to see how many floors there were for different patients. You only knew of the maternity ward.

You pulled out your phone and looked at your previous messages with Levi to find where you were supposed to go. Once you had it all figured out, you stepped into an elevator and pressed the button that would take you to Bertholdt and his dad.

When you reached the floor and left the elevator, you recognized the back of your "boyfriend's" head. He was sitting down, so you decided you'd surprise him. You crept up behind Bertholdt's seat and slowly wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He tensed up but calmed down once he recognized your hands.

"Hey, troublemaker," you greet. "Hello, y/n," Bertholdt turns his head to look up at you, "How was Connie's family?" Bertholdt could maintain a smile but his eyes didn't look happy. "They were great. Thank you for asking. Bertie...are you alright?"

You felt awful. You felt like you should have sent Bertholdt home so that he wouldn't have to do this. Not only is he probably thinking about being eliminated but he's worried about his dad too. He probably wouldn't perform as well as Connie or Jean. You would also feel like you'd have to pity him and pick him for the final part of the show. Bertholdt seemed like a guy who understands situations and will accept any outcome. Yet, you still worried about the effect of your upcoming choice.

"I'm fine. I've checked us in, so we can go see him now." Bertholdt stands up and brushes his outfit. He's wearing another sweater and dress shirt combo. He offers you his hand and you take it. Bertholdt leads you down the hospital hallway. All the doors are closed to maintain privacy.

Bertholdt gets to his father's door and is hesitant to push the door open. His free hand is wrapped around the handle but he just won't push it open. You let go of the hand he offered you and wrap your hand around his on the handle. He looks up (down???) at you with surprise. You end up helping him push the door open.

The room is dark and all you can see is a frail body laying on a hospital bed. "Pops?" Bertholdt calls out. "Bert," he lets out weakly. Bertholdt takes your hand again and tugs you along to meet his dad. "Pops...I brought my...partner...from that show I'm doing."

Bertholdt's dad cracks a smile. "That girl your sharing with all those guys?" Bertholdt's face reddens. "You're making it sound weird."

"Come closer, missie. Your name is Annie, right?"

(if your name is annie, ignore this next line 💀)

"Oh, no. My name is y/n, sir," you correct him. "Ah. You look even more beautiful in person. I've been trying to watch the show but my vision's been wonky."

"That's ok, sir. It's probably best you don't watch it. It's...chaotic. I don't think you need that in your life right now," you say with a chuckle.

"I might pass before Bertie even gets a chance to propose to you but just know you have my blessing to love, take care of him and keep him in his place. Make sure he doesn't break your heart."

Your eyes water slightly. You didn't even know this man but this was so sad. You didn't want to believe he'd die before eliminations or after that but with his state, it looked like he would.

"Alright..." you managed to get out.

If Bertholdt’s dad were to pass during your engagement or marriage, that would be something you'd have to deal with. You had no idea how Bertholdt would react to the death. You did know that it would probably delay some plans. Bertholdt would try to do things to make you both happy but you would be too worried about getting him help. And if you wanted kids...that would have to wait. Bertholdt probably wouldn't want to raise kids while he's still mourning.

Mr. Hoover begins to cough uncontrollably and Bertholdt pushes you out of the way to press the nurse/doctor button. "Hey, pops, you're gonna get help, ok? Someone's coming to help you," Bertholdt reassures his father.

Based on this interaction, you knew regardless of the situation Bertholdt would protect and care for you, whether it was giving you food after a long day or jumping in front of a bullet for you.

Gosh, you really felt bad for him.

A team of nurses and a doctor rushed in and ushered you both out without allowing either of you to say goodbye. A nurse shut the door once you were both out of the room. Bertholdt stared at the closed door for a moment. You wrapped a hand around his arm and tugged on him. “Let’s go. It’s good that I met him right? Let’s go eat. I’ll get Connie to make something for us!”

apologies if this was sad 😬 looking forward to seeing y’all’s thoughts!

[simplybakugou]

OKAY I JUST READ YOUR SHORT STORY ABOUT BAKUGO HAVING A QUIRKLESS KID AND CRAZY IDEA BUT WHAT IF MIDORIYA, WHO’S STILL IN TOUCH WITH BAKUGO, WAS LIKE A CLOSE FAMILY FRIEND OR SUM AND GOT ALONG GREAT W KATSUO. idkidk but im sure deku would truly understand how katsuo feels so he’d kinda take him under his wing and “guide” him as he grows up AND MAYBE ONE DAY PASSES ON ONE FOR ALL TO HIM ? CRAZY IDEA BUT IT JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD WHILE READING IT.

⋆ PAIRING: dad!bakugou x female!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing; angst ⋆ WORD COUNT: 6126

A/N: I was already planning on making a part 2 for this but you guys beat me to it! And this is so long, I didn’t mean for it to be so long but so many ideas kept coming to mind lol. This is also my way of contributing to Bakugou’s birthday because I’m too depressed and sad to do anything else for him :) Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy :)

Link to part 1 is here!

✐posted 04.20.2020✐

“You’re all done!” You exclaimed, patting one of your patient’s back as you wrapped up the bandage. “Remember to not put too much pressure or overwork your arm otherwise it won’t heal properly. Please contact the hospital if you have any other abnormal pains.”

The young woman smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Bakugou-san. No wonder you’re so famous!”

You smiled and thanked the woman as she exited the room. Your nursing assistance, Hana, walked into the room, holding her clipboard of all of your appointments in hand. “Hana, do I have any more appointments?”

Hana looked down at the clipboard, shaking her head. “No, you’re clear for the afternoon.”

You nodded, thanking her and pulled your phone out from your pocket as you walked out into the hallway. There were numerous missed calls from Aldera Junior High, Katsuo’s school. A sigh escaped your lips, already knowing that the meaning of the call couldn’t be good. You dialed the phone number and called back.

“Hello, this is the office of Aldera Junior High, how can I help you?” A man’s voice asked from the other line.

“Hi, my name is Bakugou Y/N and I was just calling back after receiving some missed calls from this number.”

“Oh, Bakugou-san! Let me redirect you to Principal Hirai. She will answer your call shortly.” The line was momentarily cut off until you were redirected to the principal’s phone.

“Hello, this Principal Hirai. Is this Bakugou-san?” 

“Yes, it is. Sorry about not answering your previous calls. I had a few appointments to take care of at the hospital here.” You took off your white lab coat and sat down in your office.

“No worries, I understand how busy and hard you work. I called because there was an… incident here.”

You furrowed your brows. “Incident? Is it about Katsuo? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine but he did get into a fight with another student here. His mother is here in my office now and I would like you to come as well. I tried calling your husband but he is currently on duty so that’s why I called you,” Principal Hirai said.

“I understand. I’ll get there as soon as I can.” You hung up, setting your phone down on the table. Your fingertips rubbed small circles into your temples as you could feel a migraine forming. Katsuo, despite being a carbon copy of his father, had your temperament, making him calmer and less aggressive than his father. That was why you were shocked to find out he had gotten into a fight, something that is not in his character. 

You grabbed your coat, phone, and bag, approaching the front desk of the hospital. “Hana, call me if I get any other appointments. I’m taking my lunch break early.”

Hana nodded, waving good-bye to you as you made your way to your car and Aldera Junior High.

***

The doors were light as you pushed open the doors to the main office of the school. A man, most likely the one who you were on the phone with, greeted you. “Bakugou-san? You can take a seat right there. Principal Hirai will be right with you.”

You nodded, looking over to where he was gesturing. In the seats was your son who had a tissue in his right nostril to stop the bleeding as well as a bruise on his right cheek. He looked up at you, his crimson eyes widening at the sight of you. “Mom!”

You sighed, walking over and sitting down next to him. You cupped his face in your hands, examining his face. “You don’t look too beaten up but that bruise will take a few days, maybe weeks, to heal.”

Katsuo looked at you with a puzzled expression. “So… you’re not upset?”

“Of course I’m upset!” You exclaimed. “Why would you get into a fight, Katsuo? It’s not like you to do something like this.”

Katsuo scoffed in a manner similar to Bakugou himself. “That bastard Watanabe is a piece of shit.”

You felt your eye twitch at the sound of your son cursing, normally reprimanding him for doing so but deciding not to now since he seemed so upset. “He was picking on a kid in class for not showing him the answers on the test so I just wanted to tell him off for picking on someone like that. But then he started getting all pissy, talking about me being shitty for not having a quirk and then he…”

Katsuo looked over at you, looking away after his eyes met yours. “Then he what, Suo?”

Katsuo sighed, looking down at his hands. “He started saying that I’m probably quirkless ‘cause ‘my bitch of a mother’s shit quirk was too weak to pass on’ and that it was ‘her fault for making such a fucked up kid.’”

Katsuo looked back up at you, holding your hands in his. “But your quirk is so cool, Mom! No one else thinks it’s shitty or anything! Everyone thinks that you’re amazing for protecting and saving so many people and they all admire you for it! I admire you for it! Even if you aren’t a pro, you’re my hero, Mom.”

You smiled at him, raising your hand up and caressing his blonde hair down. “When did I get such a sweet and caring son? You didn’t have to say anything, Suo, I’m proud of you for sticking up for your classmate.”

He smiled back at you, looking over to see the man at the front desk smiling at the sight of a mother comforting her son. Katsuo blushed, rubbing his neck. “I-It was nothing, Mom.”

The door labelled ‘PRINCIPAL’ in black, bold letters, opened up. Principal Hirai gestured at the two of you to come in and you both got up to enter her office. Inside was an older woman and a young boy, who was even more beat up than Katsuo with a large band aid covering the bridge of his nose as well as a black eye. It seemed like even quirkless Katsuo was capable of showing his strength and protecting himself. Katsuo sat down on the chair next to Watanabe and you sat beside your son.

Principal Hirari sighed, folding her hands together on the desk. “Thank you both for being able to come here today, especially you, Y/N, with your busy schedule.”

The mother scoffed, crossing her arms. “What? Being a little doctor means she gets more praise than me?”

“No, not at all, Aiko. But let me get to why I had you come here in the first place. From what I’ve heard from Mashiho, he was minding his business when Katsuo came over and kept initiating a fight. Then he punched his face, forcing Mashiho to have to fight back.”

Katsuo stood up from his seat, eyes widened and teeth clenched together in anger. “You liar! You threw the first punch! And you were the one who kept picking on Asahi!”

Watanabe rolled his eyes at him. “I didn’t do any of that, Principal Hirai. Who are you going to believe: the kid with respectable parents or the brat with a sad excuse of a father who uses his aggressive behavior to call himself a hero?”

Katsuo grabbed Watanabe by the collar, pulling him up to his feet. “I dare you to say that again, you fucking piece of shit.”

You stood up, pulling Katsuo back and making him sit back down. “That’s enough, boys. I’ve heard enough,” Principal Hirai said.

Aiko began comforting her son in her arms. “Oh, my poor baby! Hirai, as you can clearly see, that barbaric kid is the one responsible for all of this! But you can’t blame the kid for being like that, since his parents can barely take care of one kid, let alone two. I mean how many times has that behemoth of a hero caused damage to the press. He’s better off being a villain than a hero if you ask me.”

Your hands clenched into fists. “Good thing no one was asking you, ‘cause the next time you even think about insulting my son or my husband in front of me will be your last.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Principal Hirai commanded. “It’s clear to me what happened.”

“Good, so I’m glad that that brat will be taken care of,” Aiko huffed.

“No, the exact opposite will be happening,” Principal Hirai said, eyeing Aiko. She looked over at Katsuo, smiling. “Katsuo has never gotten into this kind of trouble. Nor have I ever gotten complaints about him from the teachers. In fact, they say that he will most likely be the valedictorian for this year’s class. I only expect good things from him and I can see that you and your husband have done an excellent job raising him and Suki, who also is doing well in her classes here. I also want to thank you and your husband for everything you do for the people and so selflessly as well.”

You smiled, bowing your head at her. “Thank you for your kind words and taking care of my kids, too.”

Principal Hirai nodded, her smile disappearing as she looked at Watanabe. “Mashiho, on the other hand has caused more trouble than any other child in this building. There have been numerous cases where he has bothered other students for his benefit. I’m sure that if Katsuo didn’t step up and defend his classmate, Watanabe would have continued this behavior. Therefore, I’ve decided to suspend Watanabe for three weeks.”

Aiko and Watanabe stared at Principal Hirai with wide eyes and they both jumped out of their chairs. “This is outrageous! Look at my baby, look at how beat up he is because of that little shit!”

Principal Hirai looked at Aiko with disgust. “I also advise you, Aiko, to learn some manners as well because I won’t allow any adult to address my students as ‘little shits.’ I won’t be changing my mind. Please leave my office and do not return.”

Aiko, who was enraged, got up and grabbed her purse in one hand and her son in the other as she stormed out the door, cursing as she did so. Katsuo snickered and you nudged his leg to make him stop. Principal Hirai sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I really do apologize for making you come all the way here for such a nuisance. I’m sorry to you, too, Katsuo for having to deal with this.”

Katsuo grinned at her. “It’s nothing. If I’m being honest, I only fought back ‘cause he talked shi– I mean bad about my mom.”

You ruffled his hair, bowing and thanking the principal. “Thank you so much. If it’s alright, I’d like to sign Katsuo out for the rest of the day.”

Principal Hirai nodded. “You can sign Suki out as well as my way of showing my thanks for everything you and Ground Zero do for the world.”

You and Katsuo thanked her once again, going out into the office and having the man at the desk call Suki’s teacher to have her come down. Suki was your daughter, two years younger than Katsuo. Unlike her older brother, she had inherited your healing quirk. The difference was that she inherited Bakugou’s special sweat where she is able to heal using her sweat. Although she still can’t use it to the best of her abilities, she does try and train it as best as she can.

As you signed your children out, Suki opened the doors with a large grin on her face, most likely due to the fact that she got to leave early which was practically every child’s dream. She made a face once she saw her brother’s bruises. “God, what happened to you?”

Katsuo rolled his eyes at his little sister. “I’ll tell you later.”

***

“And then, I used just one drop of my sweat and it healed her paper cut! Isn’t that great, Mom? I’m showing so much progress!” Suki said, her face lit up with excitement as she latched her arm around yours.

Katsuo scoffed. “Aren’t you supposed to be able to do more? You’re in sixth grade now and that’s all you can do?”

You nudged Katsuo’s side. “Progress is still progress. I’m proud of you, Suki.”

Suki grinned at you, sticking her tongue out at her brother. Katsuo flipped her off when you weren’t looking. It was bright outside, the sun beaming down on the three of you as you took your kids out. Although you didn’t want him to get into fights, you were proud of your son for sticking up for his classmate and defending himself even without a quirk. There was no doubt in your mind that he would become a great hero just like his father.

Katsuo extended his arm out in front of the two of you, causing you to stop walking. He pointed down the road. “There’s a bunch of reporters there. If we go down this way, they’ll just ambush us and ask a bunch of questions about Dad.”

You nodded, looking down the street that was a bit dimmer as it wasn’t exposed to the sun’s rays due to the ginormous trees on the sidewalks. “This road looks better. It’ll take us a bit longer to get back to the car but that’s fine.”

“Do you think we’ll run into Dad or another cool hero on the way?” Suki asked excitedly as the three of you began walking down the narrow, desolate road.

“It’s possible, but I’d rather not ‘cause heroes only show up in times of need and that would mean a villain would be here,” you said. 

“Do you think there are people out there that hate Dad?” Katsuo asked.

“I’m sure there are. Just as there are people who love and admire Dad for everything he’s done, there have to be people who despise him for getting in the way,” you stated. Your phone began buzzing in your pocket, looking at it to find an alert from a ‘villain movement app,’ one that notifies you when there is criminal activity in the area. WARNING: Level 5 villain, Gamma, is in the area. Be cautious.

“Gamma? Who’s that?” Suki asked.

“He was a villain that Dad and Uncle Deku faced a few years ago. He got away from police custody but no one’s heard from him since. We should get to the car as fast as we can before anything happens.”

“Too bad I got to you first,” a raspy voice called out from a few feet from behind you.

You felt like something was crawling under your skin as you clenched your hands around your kids’ forearms, turning around slowly to make eye contact with a pair of green beady eyes. 

“Mommy?” Suki called out to you softly. Gamma grinned menacingly at the three of you.

“Kids, run that way as fast as you can and get help from the first person you see,” you said in a low voice.

“What about you, Mom?” Katsuo asked, his voice trembling. Although he had never seen Gamma, obviously, he remembered watching the news feed of his father and Midoriya facing off against Gamma and it was difficult even with their combined strength. 

“Don’t worry about me, and go!” You said, your tone harshening in a way that Katsuo or Suki had never heard.

Suki grabbed her brother’s arm, running in the opposite direction. Katsuo looked behind him, your back faced him and he could see how you were shaking. Gamma took a step forward but you stopped him. “I’m your target, not them.”

Your quirk was in no way suited for combat but you knew you could distract him as much as you could just so that your kids could get away. Gamma grinned even wider. “You think I’ll let those little shits get away?”

Gamma used his quirk to create a solid wall in front of Suki and Katsuo’s path in a similar way that Cementoss’ quirk worked. “Your little husband and that All Might wannabe did this to me!” He pulled down his hood to reveal all of his hair singed off as well as burn markings all over his scalp. “I’m gonna make them feel every ounce of pain I felt.”

Suki began tearing up, clutching onto her older brother as Katsuo held her tightly against him. Gamma smirked. “I’m gonna kill all of you and make that explosion bastard feel so much agony he’s gonna beg me to kill him.”

Gamma moved his arm, his quirk activating to create a branch like substance, wrapping around Suki’s waist. Suki screamed as she was ripped from her brother’s grasp but Katsuo refused to let go of her, holding onto her arms. Although he didn’t have a quirk, he still trained with his father to maintain his physique. Due to Gamma’s strength to have been immensely depleted thanks to Midoriya and Bakugou, Katsuo managed to yank Suki from the cement branch.

Gamma grunted under his breath and you let out a sigh of relief. But it still was far from over. Gamma looked over to Katsuo, snarling at the sight of him. “You look just like him. I think I’ll play around with you until he gets here.”

Your eyes widened, looking back at Katsuo as another cement branch grabbed him this time. “Katsuo!” You and Suki called out in unison.

Suki attempted to pull her brother away like he had done for her but she wasn’t strong enough. The cement branch moved towards Gamma, holding Katsuo up in front of him. Gamma activated another cement branch, grabbing Suki and maneuvering it forward so it would grab you on the way. The substance felt like the side of the road was wrapping against your bare skin as the tiny rocks dug into you. You winced in pain and Suki began crying out.

Gamma laughed maniacally. “You all made it too easy! I expected it from the doctor but not from the brats! I expected at least one of you to have that bastard’s quirk!”

The crowd of reporters heard the commotion from the street over, moving to the source of the sound. With little time, the crowd continued growing as they all watched on, unable to do anything other than watch. 

The cement dug deeper as Gamma tightened its hold around all of you. The silent road was now filled with the sounds of the three of you screaming in agony. You gritted your teeth. “They’re just kids! It should be enough to take your anger out on me, not them! Let them go!”

Gamma shook his head. “I want him to feel as much pain as he can! I don’t give a fuck who gets hurt!” You continued baiting him, angering Gamma even further.

Katsuo grunted, trying to break his arms free or at least move them around. Think, Katsuo, think!

He remembered watching the video of Gamma fighting all those years ago and how he relied on the darkness when using his quirk. It was a long shot, but Katsuo knew he had to do something otherwise his family would be murdered. His fingers snuck into his pocket carefully, pulling out his phone and turning the flashlight on. He shined the light at Gamma’s eyes and Gamma screamed out, his eyes feeling like they were burning. His grip began to weaken and Katsuo broke free from his hold. He continued to shine the light at him as he went over to his mother and sister.

The only way to get them out would be to break the cement. Katsuo didn’t have any tools to do this, having to rely on his fists and the fact that Gamma was weakened by the light to break them free. So Katsuo began punching the cement, his knuckles cracking and bleeding as he pounded relentlessly. 

“Suo!” Suki cried out, tears streaming down her face.

With one final punch, Katsuo broke you and Suki free, falling to the floor. The crowd cheered for Katsuo as you grabbed your son and daughter and ran towards the crowd and away from Gamma. Katsuo continued to shine the light onto Gamma, sighing in relief as he thought they had gotten away.

“Not so fast, you shit!” Gamma yelled, releasing one more cement branch blindly, grabbing Katsuo. He dropped his phone, releasing Gamma from being burned by the light. You moved to grab your son, only to be stopped by the formation of a cement wall, one with numerous net-like holes so that everyone could see what he was about to do.

“All you bastards out there, feast your eyes!” Gamma called out to the crowd. He tightened his grip around Katsuo. Katsuo felt his ribs crack as he let out a blood curdling scream.

“Katsuo!” You called out, covering your mouth as you sobbed. 

Suki fell to the floor beside you, turning around at the crowd. “One of you fucking idiots call for help! He’s gonna kill my brother!”

The crowd flinched at the intensity and vigor of Suki’s voice. One of the reporters had gotten the attention of others around him, and the crowd managed to call over Midoriya who was initially informed about the situation, the perfect person for this. 

“Gamma!” Midoriya called down the road.

Gamma flinched at the sound. “That voice…”

Taking advantage of the diversion and Gamma’s lack of attention, Katsuo pushed his arms out, wriggling his body from Gamma’s clutches. He fell to the floor, groaning in pain. He was broken and bloodied. “Suo!” Suki called out.

Katsuo punched through the wall, managing to break free, falling in front of his mother and sister. He was panting, clutching his side in pain. 

“That damn hero…” Gamma grunted. 

Before Midoriya could make his way through the crowd, Gamma created another branch, one with deadly shards of cement that would surely impale you as he was trying to grab you this time. Katsuo saw this, grabbing his book bag that was strewn on the floor and flinging it at the branch. He threw his body in front of you and Suki.

“Don’t you fucking touch them!” Katsuo screamed, his voice cracking. 

Gamma smirked at him. “Look at you being all brave. Come to think of it, I did hear about Ground Zero having a quirkless son. And you think you can defeat me? You’re just a waste of space!”

“I know that I’m weak!” Katsuo yelled. “I’m quirkless, and I’ll never be as strong as my dad.”

“Suo…” You murmured, holding onto Suki. 

Katsuo looked at Gamma with an intensity in his eyes that matched that of Bakugou’s. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll just let you hurt the ones I love without a fight!”

Gamma scoffed, angered by the child’s tenacity. He created another branch, this time aiming for Katsuo. “It’s over for you, kid!”

“Not while I’m here!” Midoriya called out, finally breaking through the crowd and running full speed at Gamma. “You’ve hurt them enough!”

Gamma flinched as Midoriya used his quirk and landed a devastating punch to Gamma’s large body. His body cracked, weakening his powers immensely. He was already weak due to Midoriya and Bakugou’s efforts all those years ago. 

As Midoriya reprimanded Gamma, Katsuo collapsed to the floor, continuing to clutch his side. You moved to hold him in your arms. “Katsuo, don’t worry I’ll fix you up soon.”

***

“Will he really be okay?” Suki asked, sniffling as she continued to cry.

You smiled softly, caressing her hair. “He’s alright. He has a few broken ribs and broke a few fingers, too. But Katsuo’s the strongest kid I know.”

Suki’s fists shook in her lap as you two sat outside of Katsuo’s room in the hospital. “He’s such an idiot! He should know better than to hurt himself like that!”

You rubbed Suki’s back, leaning your head onto hers. You shivered at the mere thought of Gamma but was assured as the images of Katsuo’s bravery flooded your mind. You knew that he trained with Bakugou since he was a toddler but you had no idea he was so strong, especially without a quirk.

You were broken away from your thoughts as Midoriya walked down the hallway. He smiled as he saw you and Suki. “Are you guys okay?”

You nodded. “Thanks to you, I don’t know what would’ve happened without you, Deku.”

Midoriya smiled sheepishly, rubbing the nape of his neck. “I was just doing my job! Your son was amazing out there! Speaking of, is he awake?”

You nodded. “Yeah, he wanted a few moments alone to breathe and process what happened so I’m just waiting for Katsuki here.”

“I see. Is it alright if I see him?”

“Go ahead!”

Midoriya smiled at the two of you as he slid the door open, closing it behind him. Katsuo sighed from his bed. “Mom, I said I wanted a few moments alo–”

Katsuo’s eyes widened at Midoriya by the door. “Oh, sorry! I can come back later if you want.”

“No! It’s okay, you can stay!” Katsuo sat up in his bed, wincing slightly. “I actually wanted to thank you for saving us back there.”

Midoriya shook his head, sitting down on the chair beside Katsuo’s bed. “You did so much for your mom and your little sister and I don’t think you understand how you literally saved them. I’m sure if you hadn’t done what you did and protected them in the way that you did, they would have been harmed severely. But you used your own body to protect them.”

Katsuo blushed. Although he was close with Midoriya due to his connection to his father, this was the first time someone other than his parents was commending him for his strength. “I just didn’t want them to get hurt. They’re my family and I think that if I had just done nothing, even though I don’t have a quirk, I would have never forgiven myself if they got hurt.”

Midoriya smiled. “You remind me of myself when I was your age, you know.”

Katsuo’s eyes widened. “What? No way! You’re one of the top heroes, Uncle Deku! You’re as strong as Dad, there’s no way you were like a quirkless loser like me!”

“I was though.” Midoriya paused. “I was quirkless like you.”

Katsuo stared at Midoriya with genuine confusion. Midoriya raised his hands in front of him, showing the numerous scars on his hands. “I was born quirkless but I was given this quirk by someone else. It’s called One For All.”

“You were given your quirk? Is that even possible?”

“This is the only possible way. A long time ago, I met my hero, the past symbol of peace, All Might. He gave me this quirk.”

Katsuo got excited, his eyes shining with excitement. “All Might?! Dad always tells me stories about how cool he was back in the day! And he gave you his quirk? Was that why he retired?”

Midoriya shook his head. “No, you see, that’s not how it works. One For All can be passed down from one person to another and it has been for generations. All Might was given his power by his teacher, too.”

Midoriya looked down at his hands. “I was a quirkless kid just like you when I met him. I thought it was impossible for me to become a hero and so did All Might at first. But then, I tried to save your dad from a villain, even without a quirk, and All Might saw me do it. He saw my drive to save as many people as I could as the perfect thing for the next successor of One For All. So he passed his quirk to me.”

“Dad never told me about that… about the whole villain attacking him.”

Midoriya chuckled. “That sounds like Kacchan. It isn’t something he’s proud of, having to be saved by a quirkless kid. But seeing you throw yourself and do anything to save those that you love, it reminded me of exactly why I wanted to become a hero.”

Katsuo furrowed his brows in confusion at Midoriya. “I like hearing all these stories, but why’re you telling me all this? Isn’t this supposed to be a secret?”

“I’m telling you this because I want to pass down One For All to you.”

Katsuo stared at him with utter disbelief, not believing for a second that he was serious. “Uncle Deku, I really do respect you, but if this is a joke, I think you can stop now.”

Midoriya shook his head. “I’ve never been more serious, Katsuo. Kacchan and Y/N have been telling me how much you’ve wanted to be a hero and I’m sure a lot of people have told you that you wouldn’t be able to be a hero because you’re quirkless. But from one quirkless person to another: you too can become a hero.”

***

Bakugou’s feet moved at a pace that the rest of his body couldn’t keep up with. The moment he heard the news of Gamma attacking his family, he didn’t hesitate to drop everything to rush to your side and make sure all three of you were okay. Midoriya had texted him the location of the hospital and Bakugou cursed under his breath as he had decided to take the stairs to the fifth floor, which was where you were. He even used his quirk to move his body faster, finally reaching the fifth floor.

His crimson eyes scanned the halls and found Suki lying on two chairs outside of a room, you close beside her. You looked up, smiling after seeing your husband. “Katsuki!”

Bakugou didn’t hesitate to hold you in his arms, practically knocking the wind out of you. His calloused hands held you tightly, his head nuzzled into your neck. He was so glad to see that you were alright. Bakugou pulled away, examining your body once more for any external injuries. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “I’m fine. Suki and I got away with a few scratches.”

Bakugou’s blonde brows furrowed in worry and concern. “And Suo? What about Katsuo?”

“He has a few broken ribs and fingers. He’ll be okay though.”

“What the fuck happened?”

You smiled at Bakugou. “Katsuo protected us from that villain, Katsu. He did whatever he could to protect us.”

Bakugou stared in silence and relief. He was concerned about his son, slightly aggravated with the fact that he had been so reckless, but he also knew that if Katsuo hadn’t stepped up, you and Suki would’ve been harmed to a degree that Bakugou didn’t even want to imagine.

“He’s in there with Deku if you want to see him.”

Bakugou nodded, moving over to Suki who was fast asleep. He sighed, knowing that she was okay before sliding the door open. Katsuo nor Midoriya heard the door open, Bakugou only seeing the sight of Katsuo in a state of utter shock.

“What the hell did you tell him, Deku?” Bakugou asked, closing the door and leaning against it.

Midoriya flinched at the sudden sound of his voice, turning around to face him. “Oh, Kacchan! I didn’t even hear you come in.”

Midoriya looked back at Katsuo who was looking at his hands, both his hands bandaged up as the aftermath of the day’s events. “Dad, do you think I can be a hero?”

Bakugou sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I think what you did today is enough proof that you’re better than half the pros out there. Some of them hesitate to even save people, valuing their life above everything else. But you didn’t even think about that, and even though it was reckless, you’re the reason why Mom and Suki were able to get out of that unscathed.”

Katsuo let out a breathless laugh, his eyes tearing up as he whispered out, “So you think I’m a hero, too?”

“From how shocked you are now, I’m gonna guess and say that this shithead wants to pass down his quirk to you.”

Midoriya and Katsuo looked at Bakugou with shock. “How’d you know, Kacchan?”

Bakugou scoffed. “I wasn’t born yesterday. The moment I heard what happened and how you were there at the last minute, you probably saw that my kid was just like you all those years ago with that fucking sludge monster. And seeing as you’re here and Suo looks like he’s gonna pass out, I figured that’s what you told him.”

Midoriya turned his body around to face Bakugou. “So what do you think?”

“I think that my opinion has nothing to do with this. This is your quirk and it’s your decision for who you want to pass it onto. And it’s up to Katsuo if he wants this.”

Midoriya smiled, looking over at Katsuo. “You see, Katsuo? There are only a few people in my life that know about One For All and All Might and your dad are included. It’s all up to you.”

Katsuo clenched the sheets in his hands. The minute Midoriya had explained his situation, he knew exactly what he wanted. “I’ll do it. I’ll take One For All.”

Midoriya grinned. “Awesome! I knew I could count on you. But, I will say that I can’t pass it onto you for now since I still have so much to do with this quirk. But, I will train you and help your body be prepared for this quirk. I had no muscle training until All Might came into my life but I can see that Kacchan has prepared you well.”

“I–”

The door slid open abruptly, almost making Bakugou fall backwards. You put your hand on his back, pushing him back up. The three boys stared at you in shock and you looked at them in confusion. “What? You guys look like I interrupted a classified meeting.”

Midoriya shook his head vigorously. “N-No! You didn’t interrupt anything!”

“O-kay?” You sighed. “Can you two get out for now? I need to examine Katsuo’s wounds a little more before we can call it a night.”

Midoriya nodded, getting up to leave and sit on the chairs outside of the room. You walked over to Katsuo, sitting on the chair that Midoriya was sitting on. Bakugou unfurled his arms from his chest to his sides. “I’m gonna go talk to Deku.” You nodded and he closed the door behind him.

Bakugou sat down beside Midoriya who seemed to be deep in thought. Bakugou looked over at him. “What, you regretting your decision already?”

Midoriya shook his head rapidly. “No, not at all! I have no doubt that I made the right decision. I’ve just been thinking about when All Might approached me the same way with this quirk.”

He looked down at his hands which had numerous scars. “I want to approach this the right way. All Might was running low on time with One For All and he prepared me as best as he could until the U.A. entrance exams. But I want to make sure that Katsuo’s body will be prepared to the fullest before taking this quirk. You’ve seen it’s backlashes and I don’t want him to have to experience that same pain.”

Bakugou looked over at his daughter, caressing her (H/C) hair. He smiled. “He’s stronger than he looks. He’s my kid after all.”

Midoriya smiled as well. “I figured that much. If he wasn’t strong, he probably wouldn’t have been able to fight Gamma and hold him off as much as he did.”

Bakugou sighed, looking in the opposite direction. “I’m gonna say this once so you better fucking listen up.”

Midoriya looked at him with curious eyes. “Thank you.”

Midoriya became flustered, expecting anything other than a ‘thanks’ from his hot-headed friend. “There’s nothing to thank me for! I didn’t really do anything.”

“You idiot, you’re giving him hope. No matter how strong a person can be, it’s difficult to become a hero without a quirk. I always told Suo that I believed in him and I still do, but I was always worried about what would happen once he faced off with an actual villain.”

Midoriya shook his head. “I didn’t do anything, I’m being honest. He’s always had hope. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to do what he did today. He believed in himself. Besides, I didn’t expect anything else from a Bakugou.”

Bakugou smirked. “Of course, where do you think he got it from?”

Midoriya smiled. “Kacchan, I’m going to make him become an even better hero than you and I. He’s going to be the best hero in existence.”

Bakugou looked over at him. “Damn right he will.”

[lakesandquarries]

Baby Shoes - Chapter 4

Bubby has been a doctor at Black Mesa for 20 years, living there for 50. He’s been bouncing around from project to project, working on whatever needs most help. He doesn’t have any opinions on his work or his coworkers or anything like that, preferring to keep to himself.

Then he meets Black Mesa’s newest project.

AKA: Bubby is Benrey’s dad au.

title from “Baby Shoes” by Bad Books.

AO3 Link

The sound of the door opening jolts Bubby back into awareness - and Benrey too. They have another full body flinch, smacking their head against the concrete wall in their scramble.

Dr. Zeki’s heels click on the floor. “Dr. Bubby,” she says, tilting her head to the side. “This is certainly a strange place to find you.”

Benrey’s halfway off his lap already. He moves them gently so he can stand up to his full height, and their hands cling to his pant leg. “I wanted to try something new.”

“You’re attached,” Zeki says. “I should have known better than to let you on this project. It’s not sentient, Bubby. It’s not a fun little pet. Don’t you ever wonder what happened to Dr. Tipton? I’m sure you remember him.”

He, unfortunately, does. Dr. Tipton had been assigned to Bubby long ago, and he’d been an utter nightmare. No sense of boundaries, plus terrible hygiene.

“I recall him, yes.”

“This little subject you’re so fond of nearly killed him. It bit him and injected some kind of venom. We had to develop an entire new antivenom, in less than two hours, just for Dr. Tipton. He’s got permanent nerve damage and lost a few fingers, but he’s alive. I can only hope I’ll be able to say the same for you.”

Bubby glances down at Benrey. They’re clinging even tighter now, claws making small holes in Bubby’s pants.

“I think I’ll be fine.”

“Well, in that case.” Her gaze shifts down to Benrey. “You were so interested in its living situation, weren’t you? I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if we have it stay with you, then.”

“I don’t, actually.” He folds his arms, leveling his gaze right at Zeki, eyes meeting hers. “You know what, I think that’s a fantastic idea.” 

Zeki smirks at him, unbearably smug. “We’ll have to move you to the Biological Research wing, of course. You can’t be in a regular dorm with it. I’m sure your old room is still available, tube and all.”

Bubby bites the inside of his lip. He’s hated a lot of scientists in his years at Black Mesa, but he’s never had the repeated urge to strangle someone until Dr. Zeki. “That won’t be necessary. I’m sure I can find an empty room that can suit my, and the subject’s, needs.”

There’s a buzz from Zeki’s pocket. “Well, you have until I get out of my last meeting. Good luck, Dr. Bubby.” She gives him a final cold glare, turning on her heel and making sure to slam the door behind her.

“Bitch,” Bubby mutters. He hopes Dekkard broke her stuff while he was wrapping it in tinfoil.

There’s a high pitched noise from Benrey, and when Bubby looks down he sees dark bubbles like shadows. He’s careful not to touch them this time, not wanting a repeat of earlier. He crouches back down, eye level with Benrey again.

“Sorry about that,” he says quietly, reaching an arm out and gently placing it on Benrey’s shoulder. “I think I may have fallen asleep as well.”

“I don’t like her,” Benrey mumbles. “She’s scary.”

“I’m not especially fond of her either,” Bubby says. “But, I think this can actually work in our favor.”

“Huh?”

“She tried to scare me with that story, and she thinks she’s punishing me by inviting me to live here with you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Benrey mumbles, hunching their shoulders. “I just - he kept touching me -”

“I’ve had my fair share of encounters with Dr. Tipton. Whatever you did, I’m sure he had it coming.”

“So you - you actually wanna -” Benrey’s eyes are wide and shiny. 

“If you’re alright with it, yes.”

Benrey nods, frantically, leaning their head against Bubby’s shoulder. They can’t quite reach to hug him, so Bubby moves closer, wrapping his arms around them. “I can’t stay for much longer, though. I need to go find us a good room. But I promise I’ll be back, alright?”

Benrey nods, bright yellow bubbles falling from their mouth. Bubby takes a moment to enjoy the wave of joy that comes with them before he forces himself to get up. “I’ll come back as soon as I can,” he says. 

Benrey’s whole being seems brighter, somehow. Less grey. Their hands tap against the ground. “Bye,” they say, as Bubby shuts the door gently behind him.

He checks Zeki’s office first. Dekkard is nowhere to be seen, but he’s clearly left his mark. Everything - the table, the computer, each individual pencil - has been painstakingly wrapped in tinfoil.

Bubby grins at the sight, taking a moment to knock a few paper weights off the desk.

He checks Dekkard’s desk next. No sign of him there, either, but his slinky is on the desk, so he can’t be too far. 

Sure enough, he’s in the next spot Bubby checks - the break room. He’s standing in front of the vending machine, looking for all the world like a professor stumped by a difficult math question.

“Dekkard!”

He turns and waves. “Oh, hey Bubby. Hey, should I get doritos, or -”

“Nevermind that! I have an important project. I need you to come with me.”

Dekkard raises an eyebrow, turning back to the machine. “Doritos it is.”

Bubby sighs. “Please. Look, this is very time sensitive, I only have until Zeki is done with her last meeting and I’ve already wasted ten minutes looking for you.”

Dekkard reaches into the machine for his bag of chips. “I mean, I’m supposed to be on lunch, but if this is to fuck with her, then I’ll help. Let’s go.”

“I saw your work in her office,” Bubby says as they walk back to Dekkard’s desk. “And I will admit, you did an excellent job.”

Dekkard beams. “Maybe I’m not so underqualified after all.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” 

Dekkard slips into his chair. Bubby’s too anxious to sit, instead pacing back and forth as he waits for the computer to boot up. “So, what am I helping you with?”

“Zeki made a proposal. I’m sure she intended it as a threat, but. I need a free room here in Biological Research. Something livable. No tubes or cages or any of that shit.”

Dekkard’s hands pause on the keyboard. He glances back at Bubby, who’s staring over his shoulder, leaning forward to watch. “Are you…moving in here?”

“Yes. Myself and one of the subjects, so make sure it’s big enough for two people.”

Dekkard spins in his chair. “One of the subjects?”

“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?” He folds his arms, standing up straight.

“I mean - pretty much every single subject here could kill you, so -”

“I used to be a subject here, if you’ll recall.” 

“Yeah, but - you’re not like them. You’re like, a person.” Dekkard sighs. “Is it the alien?”

“Their name is Benrey.”

“You named it?”

“We are wasting time,” Bubby snarls, stepping forward to grab the mouse from Dekkard’s hand. He holds it up, stretching the wire as far as it can go. 

“Hang on! Look, I’m willing to help, I just -”

“I don’t have time to argue with you! Either help me, or I will do this myself.” 

“Look, Bubby -”

“Dr. Bubby.”

“Dr. Bubby.” Dekkard groans, tipping his head back. “You’re the only tolerable person here, I don’t wanna help you get killed by an alien.”

“Well, luckily for you that’s not what you’re doing. Now are you going to help or not?”

“You’re really set on this, huh?”

It’s a lucky thing Bubby’s control over his pyrokinesis has grown, or Dekkard’s hair would be on fire. “Yes, I’m sure. I - they have them chained up. Like some kind of wild animal. They’re a child, Dekkard. Zeki made the mistake of offering this, and I’m not going to give her the chance to back down.”

Dekkard’s shoulders slump as he spins back to the computer. “I’m not gonna pretend like I understand, but fine. I’ll help.” Bubby takes a step away from the computer to give him a bit of space, not wanting to hover as Dekkard logs into the horribly designed official Black Mesa website. It takes him a minute to pull up a map, but once he does, he waves Bubby back over. “Okay, so. There’s a few empty areas, it looks like. I’m gonna toss these ones immediately -” and here he points to the screen at a cluster of small rooms - “because those are next to whatever the hell it is that screams all night. XEN - uh, Benrey?” He glances up at Bubby who nods approvingly. “Right. Benrey’s over here right now, and I think there’s actually an unused room pretty close? Big one, too.” 

“Just find me something and show me it. I don’t need your entire thought process.”

“Hey, I’m the one helping you.” Dekkard’s quiet after that, though, focusing more on the screen as Bubby paces back and forth, glancing at his pager every few minutes. “Okay, come here, I’ve got a list.”

This is the time-consuming part. Dekkard shows Bubby each of the rooms, laying out the size and shape and what they’re near, and then they spend a few moments debating the pros and cons. Bubby knows they’re on a timer, but his attention is elsewhere, and he does forget to check the time. 

His pager beeps.

“Oh, motherfucker,” he mutters. Zeki’s meeting must have ended, because she’s sent him a message.

Meet me in my office.

“We need to decide right now.”

“Shit, that her?”

“No, it was the president. Yes, it was her!”

Dekkard sighs, scooting his chair closer. “Okay, I know it’s a weird shape, but I think this one’s best. There’s a bathroom nearby and a sink in the room, which is good. Better than the dorms, even. And you can hang up a curtain or something over here and make it like a separate room.”

He’s gesturing at a vaguely L-shaped room close to the offices and break room. Bubby has seen it before. It’s been unused for ages, gathering dust, and will probably be a pain to clean. But Dekkard does have a point, and he’s out of time.

“Fine. Sure. Yes. What’s the room number?”

“B-22.”

“B-22,” Bubby repeats. “B like Bubby. Excellent. Alright, I’m off to go ruin Zeki’s day.”

Dekkard shoots him a grin and a finger gun. “Good working with you.”

“Also, don’t get the doritos. They’re stale.”

Dekkard looks at the bag on his desk. “God damnit. Asshole.”

[lunaleen-writes]

Drown the future

[Rivetra Story]  [Modern AU]

Link AOT3 [Chapter 1]

Summary: ‘’You could move in with me’’ Floch suggested casually like they didn’t start dating just 3 months ago. And that’s how it all started if she could go back in time and say no, she could’ve avoided so much pain and suffering. But at the time, it didn’t seem like a bad idea.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, or so they say.

A few days had passed since their last fight, she felt it was silly how she was unconsciously keeping track of that, but it had become normal for her. It was a vicious cycle, they fought, he treated her like shit for a couple of days or gave her the silent treatment, then he would say sorry and shower her with gifts and love and then it would start all over again.

Their next fight began when she uploaded a picture to her Instagram account, Oluo, which Floch always said had a crush on her, had commented on the picture saying she looked cute, she replied to the comment with a pink heart. Later in the day she saw that Floch had liked that comment, and he liked it, so she knew he had seen it. It wasn’t the first time they had issues over someone liking or commenting on one of her pictures. Later, that day she decided to just simply deactivate all of her social media accounts. It was one less issue to fight over

                                    ┎┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Her phone rang, she run to grab it, if she didn’t answer, they were probably going to get worried and come to the apartment, she couldn’t let that happen. She was supposed to be at class already, she had a presentation with Mikasa that day but Floch wouldn’t give her the goddamn phone or let her get out of their apartment because he said she was going to see Oulo. It's been days since the Instagram incident, but he wouldn’t let it go.

‘’What are you doing?’’ He asked aggressively when he realized she was trying to take her phone off his hands. ‘’Give me the fucking phone now!’’

‘’I’m sorry, please.’’ She didn’t even know why she was sorry. – He answered the phone.

‘’Who the fuck is this’’ He asked whoever was on the line.

‘’Please Flock, stop.’’ She begged him, sobbing uncontrollably, still trying to take her phone.

‘’No’’

‘’She’s fine.’’

‘’Well, she’s busy, figured It out… bye.’’

After ending the call, he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the bathroom, she felt so exhausted that she didn’t even fight him.

‘Do you think I like hurting you? This is all your fault, stop making me angry! He screamed closing the door, locking her up in the bathroom.

‘’I’m going out’’ She heard him say from the other side of the door. ‘’Fucking stay there until I’m back.’’ And she did. She stayed there for around 3 hours until he returned and let her out.

It was sad, how much control he had over her even when he wasn’t around, she found herself asking if Floch would approve of every small decision she made. Even the clothes that she put on; she would do so only if she thought Floch would approve of them.

He had gotten to control every single decision she made about her own life, and the saddest part was that he didn’t even need to say anything anymore, she had become a different person under his control. Her whole life revolved around him. She had lost herself; she only went out with him, she only watched the shows and movies that he liked, only listened to the music that he liked, only wore the clothes that he liked, she even stopped cutting her hair because he wanted her to have long hair although all of her life, she preferred short hair.

The time she spent locked in the bathroom, she spent thinking about her life and what she was doing with it. She wanted things to change, she wanted things to go back to normal, she knew she had to leave him, but she didn’t know how.

She was afraid of what he would do if they did break things up, she was afraid of people finding out what was going on, that they would judge her for letting him treat her like that, she felt like she didn’t have many options, she couldn’t tell her father, he would be so disappointed, what the people of her town would even think.

One thing she decided that day is that she was going to get a part-time job and save some money, if she was going to leave Floch, she needed to have first a place to live.

When Floch returned, he found her sitting in the bathtub, he didn’t say a thing, neither did she, he just opened the door indicating that it was okay for her to get out of the bathroom, afterward they both went to bed.

It was long after Floch had fallen asleep that she got the courage to take her phone. She had a bunch of missed calls and messages.

Something came up, I’m okay. It's what she replied to them.

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‘’Just be on time, keep everything clean and I’ll be okay’’ Said Levi showing her around the place. It was her first day, Mikasa and Levi's parents had a tea shop and were looking for someone to help during the nights and weekends, the pay wasn’t much but it was close by, so she didn’t have to spend money on transportation and also got free food so that was a plus.

She was picking up some stuff cups from a high shelf when one of her sleeves rolled over, showing some dark bruises in her forearms.

‘’ Petra, what the fuck?’’ Asked Levi pointing at her arms.

‘’It’s nothing.’’

‘’That sure as hell doesn’t look like nothing to me. Do you think I'm stupid or something? It doesn’t take a genius to know what these are.’’

‘’I said it's nothing’’ She snapped.

‘’He’s a piece of shit, you should leave him.’’ He said, getting out of the room, to attend to some new customers that had just come in.

                                                                                                                                                               ┎┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┒

‘’ I don’t mean to pry but, is everything okay between you and Floch?’’ Armin asked ‘’He sounded really pissed the other day when Mikasa called you.’’

‘’We just had a stupid fight; you know how he is.’’  

‘’You don’t need to give me any explanations if you don’t feel like it you know. But I want you to know that we care about you and we are your friends and if.. .’’

‘’Jeez, Armin.’’ She interrupted him. ‘’I said nothing is wrong, hurry up, we are late.’’

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In the beginning, none of them noticed how much she had changed, Petra was usually a cheerful and happy person but lately, she had become an empty shell of herself. She was skipping classes, and the times she did show up, she was falling asleep or not even paying attention. She was always on the edge, on the verge of tears.

They wanted to help her, but whenever someone said anything to her, she got all defensive, they felt like whenever they tried to help, they just ended pushing her away.  

How do you help someone that doesn’t know that needs help…? How do you help someone that doesn’t want to be helped?

Notes:

If you made it here, thanks for reading. Sorry if this chapter wasn't that good. I want them to know what's going on but I don't want to make it too dramatic. Although it may seem like Levi and the others don't care too much or are doing too little, remember that all of them are adults here and sometimes people need to allow you to help them before you can actually do something.

They don't want to push her away if they pressure her, but if things get too bad of course they will step in. I promise more interactions between Levi and Petra for the next chapters (They are working together now<3)

Please leave a review,I appreciate it.

[chachkayes]

The Journey to ‘I Do’ - Mer x Hayes

Wow. Okay. The 4th fic I was talking abt yesterday. Life kind of got in the way and really prevented me from finishing this one yesterday night like I’d wanted. This one is going to need a keep reading line because it is officially the longest fic I have literally ever written. It’s 4.2k words. 4.2k words of pure and utter love and fluff. This is the last fic you’ll be getting from me (aside from the Christmas fic on Christmas day) for awhile, because I go back to work this week and it’s Christmas week and also the week my final is due, which means I will be a busy bee over the next little while. I really hope you all like this fic, it’s one of my favourite ones I’ve ever written and I hope it gives you all as many feels as it did for me while I wrote it. And just a disclaimer, YES, I know they probably won’t get married on the show. But AU’s are fun to write, and everything I write is usually just for fun and to fulfill my own or someone else’s headcannons and hopes that are fun to think about. Okay, that’s all, enjoy :)

“A small wedding, Maggie. Please. That’s it.” Meredith begged her sister as she walked out of her house, heading to work. Maggie had been pestering Meredith to let her plan a more grandiose wedding since she’d been told that she could even plan the wedding at all. Mer and Hayes had been adamant about a small wedding right from the beginning, although Meredith more than Hayes. He would never admit it to anyone, but his boys had quickly warmed him up to the idea of a larger wedding that their friends and family from the hospital were invited to. He couldn’t decipher if it was just because Liam wanted a reason to party or if he genuinely cared, but he couldn’t help but entertain the idea as he lay next to his fiancée in bed at night.

Maggie smirked and turned to Amelia, who was laughing to herself as she listened in on Maggie and Meredith’s conversation. “You’re not gonna plan just a ‘small wedding’, are you?” She inquired. Maggie smirked at Amelia. “How well do you think Cristina Yang can keep a secret?” Maggie said, confirming Amelia’s suspicions. “Do you want me to talk to Jackson today when I go into work?” Amelia asked Maggie, officially hopping on board the crew of people who were working on the surprise wedding plans for Meredith and Hayes. Maggie’s eyes lit up. “Oh my god, could you? That’d be amazing!” Maggie exclaimed as she flung open her laptop and added Amelia and Jackson’s name to the list of people who’d be helping out. The list already included the likes of Bailey, Richard, Jo, Link, Winston, Owen, and Teddy. 

As Amelia got into work, she quickly found and cornered Jackson. “Avery!” She yelled, diverting his attention away from his conversation with another staff member. “I- we, we need your help.” Jackson looked at Amelia, confused. “You need me for a consult or something?” He said, after excusing himself from his previous conversation. “No. Maggie and I. We, uh-“ She paused, looking around to make sure neither Hayes nor Meredith were around. “We’re hoping you could help us with a surprise for the wedding.” Jackson nodded in understanding. “Yeah, sure. What do you need?” He said as he crossed his arms and backed into a more private space for him and Amelia to talk about the wedding, knowing she wouldn’t want Meredith or Hayes to overhear. “We wanted to know if you could get in touch with Cristina. Get her over here for the wedding somehow.” Jackson raised his eyebrows at Amelia’s request. “I haven’t talked to Yang in a few months. But I’m sure I could make it happen. Okay, yeah, count me in.” He decided. Amelia grinned and gave Jackson a high-five. “Thank you!” Amelia squealed as she left the scan room.

“Oh, hey Avery. What’s up?” Cristina said as she answered the unexpected phone call from her friend and former colleague. “How well do you think you could keep a secret from Meredith and Hayes?” He asked, cutting right to the chase. “Probably pretty well. Why? What are you hooligans planning now?” She asked with a slight amusement in her voice. “We were hoping to fly you out so you could be there for their wedding. But we don’t want either of them to know.” Jackson explained. Cristina smiled behind the phone, intrigued at the idea of surprising her best friends at their wedding after she helped Hayes plan the engagement. “Wait, Meredith and Hayes are letting you guys plan a wedding for more people than just the two of them?” Cristina quipped back, knowing full well that Meredith was never a fan of having a wedding of her own. “No. Mer’s been unsurprisingly pretty adamant about having a small wedding. But she left the planning up to Maggie, and now half the hospital’s involved and neither of them know.” Cristina smirked. “Well in that case, absolutely. Just let me know a date and I’ll be there.” She told Jackson. “Great. Listen, I have to go now, but I’ll talk to you later and give you more details later.” He said as he received a page on his phone. From Meredith. ‘Great timing, Mer.’ He thought to himself. “Alright, bye Avery.” “Bye, Yang.” 

- 

Wedding dress shopping. The thing Meredith was admittedly looking forward to the least. However, her daughters wanted to see their mom get all dressed up in pretty dresses. And Jo, Amelia, and Maggie had begged her to try dresses on like starving puppies begging for food. How could she say no? She’d deprived them of the big friends and family wedding that they wanted, she couldn’t rid them of everything they were excited about. “Okay, before we go in, what did I say again?” Meredith said as she turned on her heel and stood to face her entourage, arms crossed. “Nothing expensive.” Maggie said. “Nothing poofy.” Amelia said. “And most of all, no sparkles.” Zola piped up with a smile. Mer nodded her head at the girls and turned back around, entering the bridal shop. ‘Here goes nothing.’ She thought to herself. 

An hour into her dress appointment, Meredith had yet to find anything she really loved. And she was not one to be known for settling. Ellis decided to run off into the dress racks, worrying Meredith. She was still little and young, so it was likely that she could pull a dress off the rack and have it been the complete opposite of what she wanted. She didn’t though. She, with the help of Amelia, brought over a stunning, form fitting, white halter dress with a satin sash across her waist that came with no sparkles, fit her like a glove, wasn’t expensive, and looked stunning on her. “Wow, Ellie, this dress is beautiful.” Meredith said as she stepped out of the fitting room. She looked in the mirror and smoothed the dress over her as the girls behind her fawned over the dress and she slowly fell in love with the gown she was wearing. “Meredith… you look stunning.” Jo gawked over her friend. “Yeah. Wow.” Amelia and Maggie said simultaneously. “Momma, is this what you’re gonna wear to marry Hayes??” Zola asked enthusiastically. “I think it is.” Meredith said, smiling at her daughters, sisters, and Jo, who were all beaming with pride.

Next up on Maggie’s list of secret wedding things to accumulate was the dresses for the bridesmaids and the flower girls. She knew this excursion was going to be trickier than the one for getting Meredith a dress, because she had to find dresses for herself, Amelia, Jo, as well as Cristina, along with dresses for Ellis and Zola. This was where Teddy and Owen came in. They generously agreed to hide all of the dresses at their house so Meredith wouldn’t get suspicious, then transport them to Richard and Catherine’s house the morning of the wedding. And so, off went Amelia, Jo, Maggie, Zola, and Ellis to try on pretty dresses for themselves. After hours of searching in several different stores, they’d finally agreed on these beautiful V-neck, olive green, A-line dresses with short, ruffled sleeves. One by one, things began to fall in to place. Sweet and simple gray lacy dresses were bought for Ellis and Zola. Jo dropped all 6 dresses off at Teddy and Owen’s and the gang moved on to phase 3 of planning.

- 

Decorations was what Maggie dreaded planning the most. She knew that her sister and soon-to-be brother-in-law would hate an overly decorated wedding for themselves. If she was being honest with herself, she didn’t exactly have an idea for what to do. So, she went to Pinterest. This may or may not have been a great idea. Pinterest became a complete and utter black hole of ideas for Maggie. She bought string lights – and lots of them. Fairy lights, and white Christmas lights mainly. She bought chiffon drapes to hang on a homemade wooden alter. She bought fake vines and a few flowers. She rented tables, and chairs. Once she was finished with her Pinterest spiral, she consulted with Richard as to how they would decorate his backyard – that was his contribution and involvement in Maggie’s scheme for a wedding that would satisfy the wants of attendants, as well as Meredith and Hayes. Hopefully. He owned this beautiful, large home, with a backyard big enough to fit the people invited. 

Bailey’s involvement in the wedding was much more sentimental. She was officiating the wedding. This was quite literally the only detail of Maggie’s wedding plans that Meredith and Hayes had been consulted on. Mainly because Bailey demanded that she hear it from Meredith herself that she wanted her to officiate. They all loved the idea. Bailey encouraged them to write vows and thank god she did, because Maggie had been stressing about how she was going to convince Mer and Hayes to write sentimental crap without it seeming suspicious. Bailey’s idea for them to write vows reprieved her of that worry completely.

As it got down to the final few days before the wedding, duties were given out whenever the participants of the scheming could find time completely away from both Meredith and Hayes, which had not been an easy task in the weeks leading up to the big day. It seemed like Meredith was always there whenever Maggie turned a corner. Meredith and Hayes had both got the day off work, so Maggie paged and gathered the group into one room. “Alright everyone, you know why we’re all here - we have a wedding in 2 days. Final tasks. Jackson, Cristina’s flight lands tomorrow at 5pm. You’re picking her up from the airport and taking her to Bailey’s place. Bailey, Jackson and Cristina should be arriving at your place for 6:30/ 7:00pm, give or take. Link, Winston – you’re in charge of the groom. You guys have to have him dressed and ready to go to Richard’s for 4pm on Saturday. Find a way to keep him away from Meredith for the night before and day of the wedding. Richard – Jackson, Owen, and Teddy will be over bright and early Saturday morning to help set up all the decorations. Amelia, Jo, and I will be getting ourselves, the children, and the bride ready. Ceremony starts at 5:30pm. The goal is to have Meredith and Hayes walk together to the front, as I can’t see my sister wanting to walk down an aisle. Alright. Everyone know what they’re doing?” Maggie finished. Choruses of “Yep” and “Uh huh” along with nods of acknowledgement circled the room. “Great! Okay. Disperse.” Maggie finished, and everyone did just that. 

- 

Wedding day. Chaos ensuing. Jackson had successfully picked up Cristina from the airport and dropped her off at Bailey’s undetected. Link and Winston had also been successful in their recruits to get Hayes away for a bachelor’s night. They phrased it as ‘guy’s night’ though, knowing how their best friend felt about the term ‘bachelor’s party’. He’d been ardently against the idea that it was his last night as a single man. He wasn’t single, he was in a serious relationship with a woman he loves, and they’d made a commitment to each other when they began dating. The marriage was only an extension of that commitment. But for Hayes, the proposed idea of getting drunk with his two closest guy friends while watching things like soccer and crappy TV shows was too tempting an offer for him to turn down. Meredith also told him to go and spend the night with them, so he didn’t really have any other option.

“Meredith! We’re ready to go when you are!” Maggie yelled from the main floor, up to the upstairs floor. It was 3:30pm, and while Meredith also knew the wedding was going to be hosted at Richard’s, in fact she was the one that suggested that’s where it be held, but she was unaware of the extent to which the place had been decorated and just how many people were actually invited. Meredith placed her earrings and bracelet in the little jewellery box, and headed downstairs. Her makeup and hair had been done at the house, as did Amelia, Maggie and Jo, who brushed off the excessiveness as ‘just wanting to look nice in pictures’. Maggie could feel herself getting more and more giddy as she got closer to Richard and Catherine’s place. Bailey had arrived with Cristina an hour earlier and had gotten the both of them plus Teddy ready in the meantime. Liam had agreed to drive himself, Austin, Zola, Bailey, and Ellis over to the house since Maggie’s car was going to be packed between Meredith’s dress and shoes, and all 4 of the women.

Meredith and Hayes arrived at Richard’s at the same time. The vehicles pulled into the driveway almost simultaneously. Hayes got out of the car first, then Winston, and Link. Meredith quickly exited Maggie’s car once she parked, and went to catch up with Hayes, who was standing frozen in the doorway. She placed her hand on his back. “Hey, what’s go-“ She said before looking into the house and realizing exactly why he was standing so frozen. “Cristina.” Meredith’s jaw dropped at the sight of her best friend. Cristina beamed at her friends as they stood in the doorway of Richard’s house. Bailey watched from the stairway like a proud mama. “Are you going to give me a hug or what?” Cristina said, prompting Meredith to laugh, step inside, and give her a much overdue hug. When they finally pulled back from the hug, Meredith looked around at her friends who were all smiling and watching her and Cristina. “Wait, so how did you get here? And how did I not know?” Meredith asked as Cristina hugged Hayes. Maggie, Amelia and Jackson grinned sheepishly at Meredith. “I might have had Amelia and Jackson conspire to get her here.” Maggie finally admitted. Meredith hugged her sister. “Thank you.”

- 

Everyone moved inside as Link and Amelia brought in Meredith’s dress and all the tuxes. “Let me guess, no ‘peppy maid of honour’ thing again?” Meredith chuckled at her friend. “No, absolutely not – your only job today is to-“ “Kick your guys’ ass down the aisle?” Cristina interrupted her, and Meredith choked back a laugh. “Yeah, pretty much.” 

For the next hour and a half, the finishing touches were put on everyone’s hair and makeup, dresses were steamed, and Meredith quickly figured out that this wedding was not going to be as small as she’d hoped. However, she overlooked it, because Cristina was there, Hayes seemed genuinely excited, and she knew that only her friends would be showing up. She had her person back, even if it was just for a few days. The girls helped each other into their dresses, and Ellis and Zola fawned over their mom and aunts. A few more guests showed up as everyone finished getting ready, including Bokhee, Tom, Levi, Nico, Parker, and Helm, along with their friends from Station 19, Robert and Andy, Vic and Travis, Dean, Maya and Carina, Emmett, and Jack.

Finally, 5:30 came. The sun began to set and the lights that had been hung from poles in the yard illuminated the sky perfectly. Everyone was waiting excitedly in their chairs, conversing among themselves as they waited for the wedding to start. Cristina had persuaded Meredith to let Richard walk her down the aisle, so Hayes was waiting patiently at the front of the arch with Link, Winston, Liam, Austin, and Bailey. Inside the house, Cristina, Maggie and Amelia were giving Meredith the pre-marriage pep talk that Meredith had given all of them before their respective weddings to Owen (once for Cristina and once for Amelia), Link, and Winston. Finally, the music started, and the guests in attendance immediately stopped chatting and turned their heads towards the back doors. The doors opened and Ellis and Zola walked out, flinging white petals all over the ground. Then Jo walked out, Amelia, then Maggie, followed by Cristina. Richard looked over at Meredith. “You ready?” He asked as she slipped her arm through his. “Yeah, I am.” She said with a smile and walked out into the backyard and down the makeshift aisle.

-

“Friends and family alike, we are gathered today to celebrate. To celebrate the love shared between two people who found each other in the midst of unimaginable grief. Who know better than most of us that the tomorrows with the people we love are never promised, so we have to make the most of it. Meredith, Hayes, I have had the joy of watching your relationship develop and watch the both of your flourish in your happiness, separately and with each other. You guys are about to enter into a journey together, one that you both know the meaning behind very well. You know that marriage takes a lot of work, that there will be ups and downs, trials and tribulations, and that above all communication is the most important thing to make a marriage work. I don’t need to tell you this. The love shared between you guys is something admirable, and I for one, am so honoured that you asked me to marry the two of you today. When you guys first reported your relationship to me and HR, I remember thinking to myself, ‘Who would have thought?’ But now, as I look back on your friendship, I really should have seen this coming from a mile away. There’s something magnetic between two equals, who share such similar life experiences and never expect anything more from the other than their authentic selves. Plus, you guys spent a very odd amount of time in OR’s together. And as fate may have it, Cristina Yang, or whatever you guys want to believe, you found each other. And it has been beautiful to see. I have to stop myself before I ramble even more about how proud I am of the both of you. I know you both have written your own vows, so I invite you to exchange them now. Meredith?” Bailey opened the wedding, and there was already some audible sniffling from a couple of the bridesmaids. 

“Hayes…” Meredith started, laughing with tears in her eyes as she read over her vows. He laughed with her and wiped the tear from her face. “I had many firsts before I met you. And though part of me wishes I could take them back and had them all with you, I know that each and every one of those firsts was what lead me to you. And in a way, you are my biggest firsts. My first long-term relationship. You’re the first man I said ‘I’m in love with you’ to. The first person who understood me fully, who matched my every turn and never had to navigate major differences with. And you’re the only person I imagined myself having a future with. You are imperfectly perfect. You are everything I never knew I needed. You complete me. You’re my other half. My equal, my partner in work and in life. A while ago, I’d told Alex that I didn’t want to fall in love again unless it felt like family. And that’s you. I love you, and I love your boys. I love our family. I love how you never push any boundaries with my kids, but still love them like your own. And as I stand here today, in front of a bunch of friends and family that neither of us thought would be coming, I promise to love you unconditionally. I promise to always communicate with you about everything. To never be anything less than myself around you. I promise to always talk with you about Derek and Abigail, who I know are watching from heaven and cheering for us. I promise to defend you and stick by you through thick and thin. I have been and always will be your biggest supporter on earth. I love you.” Hayes smiled at Meredith through tears and began to lean in to kiss her on instinct, before he felt Bailey’s hand push him back. “Not. Yet.” She said sternly, prompting laughter from the guests and wedding party.

“Grey, before I met you, I didn’t want to love again. There was no one I could even think about being with after having Abby ripped away from me so slowly and cruelly. That was until I met you. You understood exactly what I was going through. You never pushed or prodded, and always let me talk about Abby if I was comfortable with it. Of course, I always was, knowing you’d probably done the same thing, or at least something very similar. Every day since I met you, I’ve found something new about you that amazes me. You amaze me. And there is no one else on the face of this earth I could have imagined myself going through all those firsts with. You taught me to love again. My goal in our relationship is to always make you feel loved, seen, and wanted. You truly are my equal in this part of my life. And I love everything about you, about our family. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about how lucky I am to have met you, to know what it’s like to experience your loyalty and love. You know full well that I don’t take promises lightly. I promise to always stand by you, no matter what. I promise to know when to fall back and let you handle things, versus when to step up and step in to defend you. I promise to bring you coffee in the morning and check in on you when you’re working in the lab on your next award-winning medical breakthrough. I promise to always page you for surgeries that require general surgery, and I promise to watch the kids when you’ve had a long day so you can get some rest. I even promise to dance with you whenever you want to. Above all though, I promise to make us my priority. I love you.” Hayes finished. After the both of their vows, there wasn’t a dry eye in Richard’s backyard. Quite literally everyone was crying. Including both Meredith and Hayes.

-

“Link, the rings?” Bailey said, looking over at Link. He gave Scout the thumbs up, to which Scout toddled over to the front and handed Hayes and Meredith their rings. “Now, do you, Cormac Hayes, take Meredith Grey to be your wife?”

“I do.” He said, wearing a bright smile on his face, placing Meredith’s ring on her finger. 

“And Meredith, do you take Cormac Hayes to be your husband?” Bailey said, looking at Meredith.

“I do.” She said, smiling back at Hayes with tears in her eyes as she placed the ring on his finger. 

“By the power vested in me from the internet, and by the grace of God, I pronounce you two husband and wife. Hayes, you may kiss your bride.” Bailey said with a smile as she stepped back from the couple. “Finally,” Hayes said as he wrapped his arms around Meredith’s waist and pulled her in for their first kiss as a married couple. Their biggest first together. Everyone clapped and cheered for the newlyweds, and they pulled back, still holding onto each other, as they looked around at their friends and family, all smiles.

- 

The whole reception was lively. People mingled and caught up with old friends. Meredith and Hayes made sure to go around before dinner started inside and say hi to everyone who’d shown up and thank them for coming. Meredith had to admit that she was glad she got to share this day with all her friends. Then during dinner came the speeches. Meredith and Hayes both gave short speeches that they came up with on the fly. Maggie and Amelia both made touching tributes, thanking Hayes for making their sister so happy again, and for loving her in the way she deserves to be loved. Richard, Jackson, and Link also all made speeches. The final speech came from none other than Meredith’s person, Cristina Yang. “Meredith, Hayes, I love you both. I’m so happy you two found each other. You’re welcome, by the way. I take full credit for this.” Laughter erupted from around the house. Leave it to Cristina to steal the show in two sentences.

They ate dinner, mingled, laughed, and loved. The first dance was touching, as their song played over the speaker and they slow danced, whispering sweet words into each other’s ears, kissing and loving each other like no one was watching. After the first dance, the music picked up and everyone joined in the celebrations. This night was a perfect representation of what the rest of their lives looked like; filled with love, laughter, family, friendship, and lots of music and happiness. After having their happiness ripped away from them in horrifying ways, they’d finally found it again. And it was truly beautiful.

[fairymadnessyeah]

Family Feud

Shigadabi week day 2

Ao3 Link

Summary:  Family is complicated. Add heroes, pity and romance, and you got yourself a new type of drama.

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Ugly / Horror / Family

The hero community was a mess of gossips and rumours and drama. And the best one who left everybody reeling was the rivalry between the Todoroki and Shimura family. Or more specifically, between Kotaro and Enji.

It all started when they met at a Charity Gala. The Nana project was a not-lucrative organization made by the late Nana's Shimura son, Kotaro. By the time for the Gala, the project was rather new, but it easy got attention from the hero community as well as the press. The organization's objective was to help the families of pro-heroes. Their motto was 'if heroes are helping us, then who will help them?'. It had easily gathered a following. And as the number two hero and 'family man', Endeavor had to attend, along with his wife and sons and daughter. What he didn't know or expect was Kotaro's own hatred towards heroes.

It was weird, but the man that helped the family of heroes hated heroes more than villains did. He didn't like villains either, but it was a shock to most, especially, his hate towards All Might. Apparently, the first time he presented his idea to him, Might Tower being one of his first associates, he blackmailed the hero into donating a lot of money. Endeavour had gone with the hope of finding another ally in his hate towards the number one hero. Instead, he found a man who was more than able to see his image as a family man was fake and that the family situation was not the best.

The Gala was spent with Enji trying to prove Kotaro wrong. He gushed about his family, held baby Shouto and even booked a therapy session with one of the psychiatrists in the Gala. Rei was shocked, but strangely looking forward to this new change her husband was going through. Same as Fuyumi and Natsuo. But his eight-year-old son though, wasn't as convinced. Touya had seen the worst of his father recently. The training he put him through was painful and he didn't believe for a second his father was trying to change. Who changed to spite somebody? He was also a bored eight-year-old at a grown-up party. The moment Fuyumi and Natsuo fell asleep, he was out of people to play with. His father tried to show him off to the other guests, but when he heard Enji calling for him, he slipped away from the main hall of the Gala.

He ran through different hallways, feeling his father right behind him. In one of these hallways, he came across a door open and swiftly ran inside, closing the door behind him. He waited with his ear pressed against the door until the heavy footsteps of his dad vanished. Sighing in relief, he separated from the door and took a better look at the room he entered. There was a small couch and a table with a coffee pot. The Nana Shimura project was still new, so they didn't have a main office yet. The Gala was taking place in a 5-star hotel, so this must be a staff room. As he walked to the couch, he noticed a small head peeking from behind it. When the owner of the head noticed he was spotted, he squeaked and went back down. The person hiding was small, so Touya was sure he was a kid. He had grey-blue hair, red eyes and was wearing a weird type of fingerless-gloves except for two fingers.

"Hi, I'm Touya," he says with a small wave. "Why are you here alone?" he asks as the head starts to slowly come out of hiding.

"I- I don't like it over there..." the mophead whispered.

Once he was fully out, Touya noticed he was wearing a fancy suit and was holding something in his hands. The kid was still trying to hide, and his hair covered part of his face. It didn't work though. Touya could see his scarred and scratched lips and the little mole next to it. It was kind of cute.

"Um... what's that?" he asked, staring at the device in his red-gloved hand.

"A- a game I was playing with..." the kid says and sits in the farthest corner on the couch.

"Can I watch? It's boring upstairs..." the guy stares for a while before nodding quietly. Touya sits next to him and watches as he plays a racing game. "Hey what's your name? You already know mine," he asks after seeing him play a couple of times.

"Tenko,"

"Hi Tenko, nice to meet you," he gives him a small smile and Tenko's cheeks turn pink.

They stayed there for an hour or two until Touya's mom came into the room. His dad had tried to find him, but gave up when he noticed the boy was hiding for him. Rei came looking for him when her husband and the head of the Shimura family started debating who had the better family. It was Nao Shimura who told her about the only room that wasn't locked, where her son was.

"Mom?"

"Come on, honey, your father is getting worried," she tells him and extends her hand for him to take it.

"Likely story," he grumbles under his breath and get down from the sofa. "Bye, Tenko," he waves goodbye at the boy when he takes his mother's hand.

"Bye, Touya," the boy waves back.

Rei and Touya walked hand in hand back to the Gala. When they arrived next to Enji, not a second went by before Endeavour picked up his son and sat him on his shoulder. He had both youngest and eldest sons, each on one shoulder, and was in a staring contest with Kotaro, who had his daughter on one hand. The two were locked in a silent battle as few heroes who were in the conversation, looked around uncomfortable.

"This is my eldest, Touya. He is one of my prides and joys. And he has the quirk of a hero," Enji says buffing his chest and then turning to him. "Show them, son, like we practised," he orders him.

Touya obeys, sticking out his hands and letting off the biggest flame he could without it hurting. The pros around all gasp, awe and compliment him on his quirk and it's hero potential. It makes Touya smile, and his chest swells with pride with the comments.

Kotaro quickly turns to his wife and tell her to bring their son here before presenting his daughter. "This is Hana. She is the smartest of her class and has my mother's quirk. Show them, darling," the girl in pigtails looks around confused at first. She then shrugs and scrunches up her face in concentration. Suddenly, her feet aren't touching the floor anymore. She floated for a few seconds before she dropped to the ground again and did a little bow.

The pros complimented her too, and then Nao comes back with a boy on her arms. The same boy Touya met at the other room. He is shying away from everyone, squeezing his face against his mom's shoulder. Kotaro takes him from her and places him by his side, Hana taking his hand in comfort.

"This is Tenko, my son," Kotaro introduces him and takes a pair of goggles off a hero near him. "Tenko, why don't you show the pros your quirk," he tells him and shows him the goggles. The boy starts to hyperventilate and look around scared. His sister takes his hands, and he calms down before he takes off one of his gloves. With his gloveless hand, he takes the goggles from his father and everybody gasps as they see the object crumble into ash.

"Well, that is certainly an interesting quirk," Endeavour smirks after everybody praises the young boy. "Does anybody in your family have a quirk like that?"

"No, it's a mutation," Kotaro says back. "But, I understand why you would jump to such conclusions. I bet your wife wishes to be with somebody else instead of you..."

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"Alright, here is the battle-plan," Enji orders as he and his family get driven to the fundraiser The Nana Project was doing that night. They are all decked to the 10, with Rei, Natsuo and Fuyumi using blue formal-wear with red details and Enji, Touya and Shouto using their Hero uniforms.

"Natsuo, you remind everybody that you got a scholarship and that you will become the best hero doctor," he tells his middle son.

"Dad, I don't know if I'm going to be a hero doct-" the albino tries to tell him, but is ignored.

"Shouto, you tell everyone about your time in UA and how you won the Sports Festival," he addresses his youngest son, who only slurps on his drink.

"Rei," he re-direct to the ice woman.

"I will tell everyone what a good father and husband you are and how you are the best hero," his wife says, repeating Enji's order by heart.

"Good, and Fuyumi and Touya, you'll keep an eye on those Shimura siblings," he seethes at his oldest pair of kids. Fuyumi nods kindly, and Touya moans.

"I should have taken that extra shift with Eraser," he complains and leans over his baby brother.

They arrive at the place without a problem and get a warm welcome by the Shimura's. Rei and Nao get into a friendly conversation while Kotaro and Enji get trapped in glare-down as they shake hands. Natsuo and Shouto, once they say their hellos, go to the food trays, and Fuyumi and Touya stay with Hana and Tenko.

"Hey, Yumi-chan, goes it going?" Hana asks.

"Great, Hana-chan, I have a new student from America, his dad is a model," Fuyumi tells her.

The reality of the Shimura-Todoroki rivalry was more centred into the fathers of the families. Ever since the feud had started, Endeavour and Kotaro had pegged their eldest against one-another. With Fuyumi going against Hana and Touya against Tenko. For example, when Touya got into the hero course at UA and Fuyumi into General Education, Hana and Tenko went to the business course. It had not gone the way they wanted it to, though. Their kids, instead of seeing the other pair as the enemy or bitter rivals, got along well and only kept the pretences that they hated each other when their parents were around.

"Fuyumi, why don't you tell the Shimura's about your work as a teacher and how you are leading the next generation on a better path," suddenly Enji and Kotaro enter the conversation.

"Hana, tell Todoroki about how you graduated from law school and plan to follow on your fathers' footstep," the two women groan as their fathers get carried away.

"Hey, can I keep an eye on you over the bar?" Touya whispers to Tenko.

"I have liquor in my office, can you do it from there?" the younger man whispers back.

Touya says yes, and they both turn the way and leave. They walk through hallways and get into the elevator in peace. Once the doors shut, they collide into each other in a mess of limbs and tongues. Touya pushes Tenko to the wall as his hands find a place in his hip and hair. Tenko is trying to pull him closer by the lapels of his hero coat and pressing his knee against the others crotch. They only separate when there is a ding and the doors open again. Their clothes were ruffled, their lips were swollen and Tenko's hair, which was collected in a small pony-tail, was dishevelled.

The two continue walking and go to the door marked with the youngest's name. Unlike their sisters, who were friends and nothing more, the two boys were much more than friends. After their first meeting, the boys had instantly become friends, despite their age difference. The two especially got closer on Touya's last year at UA and Tenko's first. After that they fell for one another. But neither did anything until Tenko's graduation and 18th birthday. Touya took care of the younger male as he got wasted and ended up kissing in the car in front of the Shimura's household. They tried to keep their relationship a secret at first, not wanting to deal with any sort of lecture their fathers might have for them on 'dating the enemy'.  Or worse, using their relationship to for their own selfish gain.

That being said, they didn't hide it very well...

The first one to find out was Tenko's sister, Hana. When Tomura went to college, the two siblings shared an apartment. It was cheaper this way, and they were already accustomed to the other, having lived their entires lives together. The only difference was that while they were both doing a Business mayor, Tenko had an art minor and Hana a journalism minor. So, some evenings, Tenko would have the entire apartment for himself. It was in one of these occasions, one evening when a villain attack made their classes be cancelled, that she found out. She just walked into her apartment to find her baby brother and the hero Dabi kissing in the living room. Although she was shocked at first, she was happy for her brother. She knew he had feeling for the red-head and was thrilled to know, his feelings were returned.

She wasn't as happy though when her father heard rumours about the Hero Dabi being spotted near their apartment, and she got questioned about her relationship status. Which EW. But she kept the secret.

The next one was Natsuo. Touya and Tenko decided to go away for a weekend one summer to the beach, renting a hut on the coast. Natsuo, who didn't want to spend all of summer vacation with his parents, dropped by unannounced. The albino walked in the middle of a romantic dinner, and they had to explain everything to the guy. Natsuo was happy about their relationship. A little too happy maybe. Touya had to kick him out to get back on their time alone and give him money for a bus ride back home.

Which was how the next person learned about them, Touya's mom, Rei. Natsuo, in all his himbo glory, told their mom the second he saw her. Natsuo tried to explain himself, saying it was an accident, but Touya was too busy killing him to listen. Even if Natsuo was taller than him and bigger compared to his lanky frame, Touya was still the eldest and knew a lot of ways to keep his authority. His mom though, congratulated him. She told him she wanted him to be happy. They did have a lovely dinner at his place where they also told Tenko's mom. She was the fourth person to find out and the first person they actually told the secret.

The next person, or people really, who found out were Fuyumi and Hawks. It was after another fundraiser of the Nana Project taking place in a hotel in another city. Many heroes had attended, one of those being Hawks. He and Fuyumi had talked all night and decided to get to know each other better on the privacy of Hawks room. Too bad that room happened to be the one exactly next Tenko's. A room who Touya and Tenko were stepping out of in that exact moment. There was an awkward tension for a few seconds before the two siblings agreed to leave the discussion for later. Each couple went their way, and on the morning, the eldest Todoroki siblings talked about what they saw that night. It ended well though, with them swearing secrecy and her congratulating him on finding someone who made him happy.

(He also had a conversation with Hawks, he would love to reget. The chicken interrupted one of his patrols, pissing off Aizawa, who then gave him extra paperwork.

"So... About that night. You didn't... tell your dad, right?"

"Hawks, Fuyumi is an intelligent and responsible woman who can make her own decisions. If she want to have a one-night stand with you, she is free to do it without me or our old-man going ballistic about it,"

"Oh, great- Wait, what you do mean with 'One-night stand'?"

"Hawks, you're not sisters type, I don't think she'll call you anytime soon,"

"Why not!? I could be her type!"

"My sister dates nerds, you are a flying chicken nugget,")

The last one to know had been Shouto. Their parents were out of town and with Fuyumi busy with grading homework and Natsuo getting fucked by finals, Touya looked after the little candy cane. However, that didn't mean he and Tenko couldn't spend time together. If anything, this was a great opportunity. A way for him to give the middle finger to his old man and be with Tenko under his roof. Until one morning when Shouto found Tenko in their house. That morning, as he made breakfast, his brother came into the room and told him he couldn't find part of his uniform. Touya sent him away, telling him to look harder, and when he came back, he hadn't found the item yet, but he had seen Tenko. It took him a little bit, but in the end, the two brothers came to a deal beneficial enough for both parties. Shouto wouldn't say anything to their old-man and Touya, when the time came, would offer a personal internship with him. The older sibling could almost swear the kid just wanted to spend more time with him, since they didn't hang out as much since he moved to his own apartment. But he was not going to tell the kid that and waste an easy deal. Shouto was happy either way, though he did make fun of his brother by asking Tenko what he saw in him and that he could do better.

The two young men had been together for four years now and wanted to move forward in their relationship. To get straight to the point, Touya wanted Tenko to live with him. He was almost done with college, graduating at the end of this semester and even if he would still work with his dad just like Hana was, he wanted to wake up every morning to his adorable mophead. However, that meant telling their fathers. And while they had done a pretty good job of hiding from them so far, they didn't think they would be able to hide who they were living with from them.

"I do want to move in with you... But how are we going to tell them?" Tenko says as they try to look presentable again after their make-out.

"Well, we could follow Fuyu's advice," Touya says and takes his gloved hand. "We do it directly, honestly and in a public place, so they don't throw a fit," Tenko chuckle and Touya caresses his cheek gently. "It's going to be fine, we are adults, right?"

"Yeah, we are..." the younger one agrees and leans in.

The two kiss softly, and for a moment, they are filled with hope. Their fathers might take a while to come to peace with it, but they'll survive. They are together, and that was the only thing that mattered. Only them. By each other side.

Then, the door opened with a slam.

Their fathers with looks of horror in their eyes stared at their sex-messed appearance from the doorway. "Well, I guess that's one way to tell them..."

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The reason the two fathers of the family had been in Tenko's office was because Kotaro wanted to show off to Enji both his kids' new offices. They started with Hana's office and then moved on to his son's. It was a good thing they did, though. If they started with his office, they would have come into a worse sight than they did. But once the shock from the find had passed, both called a family meeting. The Todoroki's and the Shimura's ended in one of the conference rooms, with Enji and Kotaro going off about trust and betrayal, sometimes shoving jabs about one another. The couple was sitting on the other end of the conference table. The rest of the family on each side. Todoroki's on the left and Shimura's on the right. The two male adults were so lost in their banter, they didn't notice Tenko whisper something in Touya's ear before the red-head noded determined.

"Your sibling would never do something so horrendous! So traito-" Enji was saying, his face flaming hot, but got interrupted.

"Well, I wouldn't say that..." Touya intervened and pointed to one of his siblings. "Shouto doesn't want to go on an internship with you, he asked me for one," he says.

"What!?" Enji exclaims, his face angry and sad at the same time.

"Nii-san!"

Touya, as an Underground Hero, was very good at gathering information. He normally used it against organized crime syndicates or villains. But if he was going down, so were they. "And Natsuo had a pregnancy scare with his girlfriend," he moves to his other brother.

"Dude!"

"And Fuyumi slept with one of your co-workers, Hawks," he finishes and watches as his old-man falls to his chair defeated.

Kotaro lowly chuckles next to him, amused by the situation. "Endeavour, it's alright," he mocks the hero. "You're just not as a devoted father as you thought you were-"

"You're not either," Tenko interrupts this time. "Did you know Hana has a tattoo?" his father gasps.

"Tenko!"

"Or that she meets weekly with All Might and Gran Torino?" another horror gasp.

"Tenko!"

The couple had opened Pandora's Box. And with that, chaos ruled over the room as the people inside blamed the other for something. In all the commotion, they failed to notice the couple slip away from the room. They head towards the elevator.

"Uber should be here in five minutes," Tenko says as they can hear the shouting and fighting from the conference room.

"Family reunions are going to be fun from now on," Touya chuckles as he drops his arm over his boyfriend's shoulders.