#I also still need to ask my girlfriend for her consent in these…

[underlock-and-key]

I just found this blog and would like to ask you for *gets down on one knee* will you go out with me? You're my perfect idea of a partner

A-another one?! Dear me…

Ha, hah, you’ll have to wait in line, I’m afraid. You have some feisty competition here, and that proposal might be hard to beat. The cherry ring pop fits my colour palette perfectly.

[rvp32]

Heir to the clan's legacy- Chapter 3

White cum spills out of Yoona's stuffed pussy and your cock is covered in her juices and your seed.

You turn around and smirk.

"Mommy…why don't you clean my cock?"

"Y/N Do you know what the fuck you have just done!" Taeyeon screams as she walks toward you.

The loud scream makes you lose your concentration a little allowing Yoona to escape from your binding

"What have I done, mommy? I fucked Auntie Yoona because she's sexy. I'm an adult. Why are you so mad?"

"I told you specifically not to do any such thing before you left and not only did you go ahead and fuck your aunty and cum inside of her you also had the audacity to call me here," Taeyeon screams

You then turn to Yoona.

"She enjoyed it. Didn't you, mommy" You say smirking, calling Yoona mommy.

Yoona was still recovering from the orgasm and she was also scared but she shyly said, " It was some of the best sex that I have had in a very long time,"

You smirk smiling, but then Taeyeon flash-stepped and you barely reacted since you weren't on guard. You manage to bat her arm away.

"I'm not a kid anymore, mommy…if I want to fuck YoonA. I will."

"Enough, put on your clothes you are coming home with me right now and we will talk about your behavior," Taeyeon says

she then looks to Yoona, " We are going to have a really long conversation about this Yoona,"

But you shake your head.

"No. I'm not going with you. I didn't do anything wrong." You flash step and put your clothes back on but then you also grab your sword and assume a challenging position.

"Y/n don't do this, all I am suggesting is that we talk. I am not trying to hurt you or even fight you. So calm down, " Taeyeon says trying to calm you down

"Talk about what? You can't baby me anymore. I want to be with Yoona…I will be with Yoona. I'll be with whoever I want. You know I asked Kazuha to be my girlfriend today?"

Yoona was also shocked by this information because she didn't expect you to have already a girlfriend whom you just started dating today. She felt bad because she was your side piece and the second option.

"I am not babying you anymore! I won't do it. We left off at a very bad place in the morning so I just want to clear it up. For fucks sake just listen to me just this one fucking time," Taeyeon said her showing more and more frustration as the conversation goes on

You turn to Yoona.

"Just so you know, you aren't a side piece or a second option…I need to restart my clan…I want you, need you as a partner, Yoona…I love you just as I love Kazuha."

Yoona's expression turned softer after hearing that, she also realized the huge responsibility you had.

You then turn to Taeyeon.

"Don't you understand that? I love you…I want you…who better to restart my clan than you, Mommy?"

"I am open to that and I would be really happy to help you with it as well but Y/n you need to learn to take consent before you jump onto people like that, I was confused and didn't know what you really wanted," Taeyeon explained

You then flash step to her and kiss her deeply again.

"I want you…I want both of you…" Your spiritual pressure rising again.

"Calm down, you don't need to release so much spiritual pressure, I am right here," Taeyeon says as she brushes a little bit of your hair

"I need both of you…" I say with lust, as I derobe once again. "Both of my mommies…sucking my cock…I'm still so full mommy, you said you'd always take care of me.." You pout like a child, playing on Taeyeon's motherly affection for you.

"I will baby boy, I will always take care of my pretty little boy," Taeyeon says before grabbing your cock and slowly rubbing it

"Oh.." I moan, finally. My mommy..my hot mommy.

"Yoona mommy…Taeyeon mommy…please both suck my cock…worship it…"

Yoona crawls to you, with your cum still dripping out of her freshly used pussy. she massages your balls as Taeyeon plays with your cock

"Oh fuck yeah…yes…use your lips my mommies…fuck.."

"aww is that so if you want mommy to use her lips you are going to have to beg pretty boy," Taeyeon whispers in your ear and bites it

You counter and kiss at her neck. You were kissing your mommy…your beautiful Taeyeon and you nibble at her ear too.

"Please Mommy…suck my cock…I've wanted to feel it for so long…your beautiful lips and tongue.."

"Now, that's a good boy, " Taeyeon coos before getting on her knees and taking the tip of her cock into your mouth.

Yoona takes this opportunity to stand up and kiss you passionately

"Mommy it feels so good…you were meant to do this right? My cock…to take care of me…this is the only cock you ever need…"

Taeyeon speeds up, taking in more of your cock every time she went down, trying her best to fit your entire cock into her tiny cute mouth

"Holy fuck mommy…oh my god…that feels so good…yes all of it.."

You kiss Yoona too, but you begin to thrust into Taeyeon's mouth.

Yoona pulls away from the kiss, "Go on fuck that throat like you mean it, show her who she belongs to," Yoona moans into your ear and goes on to kiss your neck and leave marks all over it

This turned you on a lot. As you begin to ram your cock into Taeyeon's thrust over and over.

"My mommy whore…my mommy bitch…my slutty mommy…" You chant as you finally get what you want. Taeyeon began choking on your cock a little but she still continued to take it into her throat as much as she could.

"Go on paint your mommy's throat white with all the precious cum, " Yoona moans as she uses your fingers to stimulate her clit

You bite at Yoona's breasts and suck on her tit..trying to draw out milk. You don't stop fucking Taeyeon's mouth as you shove as much as you could in there, watching it bulge.

"Holy fuck baby that's so hot, are you trying to get milk out of me baby," Yoona moans as she pets your hair like a child who is getting breastfed

"Fuck if only there was milk coming out right now!" You moaned in between sucking Yoona's tits

You had to figure out some spell for that or something…

"Oh, mommy…I'm going to cum…down your fucking throat…"

"GO on baby cum all down your mommy's throat," Yoona cooed you dumped all your cum down Taeyeon's throat

You pant and huff, pulling out and smiling.

"How does it taste Mommy? Your first taste of my cum? Your baby boy's cum?"

"It tastes amazing baby just as I expected it to but holy fuck don't you cum a lot. this is your second load and it is so much I wonder how thick the first load must have been," Taeyeon states,

"Oh the first load was massive and thick alright, his cum is still leaking out of my pussy and I am 100% sure that I am already pregnant with his baby," Yoona says

You pull Yoona in for another torrid kiss with your tongue.

"Your feet next…both of you…I need to taste them and fuck them…" You say with desire.

"aren't you an insatiable horny bastard, if that's what you want then your mommy's shall oblige," Taeyeon says

You growl.

"Oh? Calling your baby boy a bastard? How naughty of you, mommy!" You grab both of them and toss them on the bed. You lie down and have Taeyeon and Yoona sit near you by your cock. Taeyeon folds out her legs towards your face and you begin to lick at her toes and the underside of her feet.

Yoona meanwhile gives you a footjob.

"my baby boy is so naughty and always horny for his mommies isn't he?" Taeyeon questions as she enjoys you worshipping her feet

"I love your white nail polish Mommy…and Yoona's black…so sexy…your feet are so fucking good.."

Taeyeon's feet were so soft and you try to suck on all five toes from her foot at once.

"Aren't you a greedy boy wanting so much all at once, If I had known that you were a feet-loving boy then I would have gotten a pedicure before coming here," Taeyeon says before moaning

You suck on her toes harder.

"No, your toes are so good…so hot…I love them…please give me a double footjob mommies!"

"you are so impatient," Taeyeon says before using one of her feet to push your cock into Yoona's other foot. Both of you matching the rhythm together to jerk off your big hard throbbing cock

"HOLY FUCK MOMMIES.." You howl loudly as they worked together perfectly to stroke your cock off with their feet. The contrast of pedicure colors was amazing

"oh you are really enjoying this so much aren't you, my little perverted loser," Taeyeon teases you as she continues to play with your hard cock

"He loves it so much Unnie, he blew such a huge load when I gave him a footjob before," Yoona says

You pout. "Mommy…that wasn't nice…I'm just so attracted to you…"

"You don't have to lie baby I can feel your cock throb whenever I say things like that," Taeyeon says

"It turns me on when you want me, mommy…you're all mine right?"

"Yes baby I am all yours, both of us belong to you

I then flare up my pressure and jam my cock back into Taeyeon's tight cunt, growling as I use flash step and slam her into the wall and begin drilling into her gasp "Fuck!" Taeyeon moans out as you drill into her the sudden invasion of your cock stretching out her pussy a lot more than expected

"What was that mommy?" I growl as I hammer into her and then kiss her neck, biting at it a bit.

"It feels so fucking good baby, keep pounding Mommy like that use my hole however you want!" Taeyeon growls

"Remember you're my mommy…and my caretaker…I am your Master and baby boy…and you…I fucking own you…to fuck…and use as a whore!"

"Yes, you own me, fucking use me as your whore! make you your cum dump!" Taeyeon moans out pleasure completely taking over her brain

I kiss her with my tongue and speed up. The tightness of her cunt was immaculate..my whore mommy getting fucked by my cock was something else.

"Mommy…I want to drink your fucking milk…"

"Go on baby you can have how much ever you want!" Taeyeon allows you

"Unnie, What is he talking about?" Yoona asks confused about what milk you are asking Taeyeon for

I then lower my mouth to her right breast and swirl my tongue before latching on and sucking. I was finally drinking her milk…my mommy's milk…it was perfection.

"NGHH" Taeyeon moans, the pleasure getting too much for her. It felt like absolute heaven, she hadn't had something feel this good in such a long time

A little milk leaks out from the corner of your mouth and this surprises Yoona. So many questions popping into her head and you see her eyes lined with confusion. To distract her you push your fingers into Yoona's wet pussy and finger her as you continue to pound Taeyeon

"Mommy's milk…mommy's cunt…you're both mine…" you growl.

You were fucking Taeyeon so hard…your mommy…your whore…your bitch…was now truly yours.

Taeyeon's moans now sounded like screams absolutely tearing through thr roam and they were accompanied by Yoona who was also on the cusp of another orgasm

"I'm going to fucking cum mommy! Going to fucking cum so hard!" You roar.

"Go on baby cum inside your mommy, breed her just like you did me," Yoona encourages you and Taeyeon is just simply beyond the ability to speak right now

You were finally going to do it, you were going to breed your mommy Taeyeon…

"FUCK!" You slam your cock all the way inside her cunt and explode…cumming the hardest and longest you ever have…you weren't pulling out and waited minutes until you fully emptied, painting her walls white.

Taeyeon's mind was going absolutely haywire, completely taken over by pleasure. The cum was so warm and felt perfect inside of her. satisfying everything that she had ever wanted.

You then kiss Taeyeon with more tongue.

"Mommy…Yoona…on your knees both of you…fucking clean my cock…it's official now…you're both my whores to breed and restart my clan."

Without any replies, the both of them were on their knees, cleaning up your cock.

You hiss in pleasure as both their tongues and sweet lips worked your tip and they cleaned every bit of cum left. They shared it between them and you pressed their heads together to make out with your cock.

"I've been developing a kido spell…" You say before using the enchantment and a marking of the Uzumaki clan forms just above their cunt before disappearing.

"what is it supposed to do baby?" Yoona asks innocently.

Taeyeon is also curious and is just waiting to see what you answer

"This will make it so nobody else is allowed to fuck you…your body will only respond in pleasure to my touch alone."

"Oh someone is possessive!" Taeyeon and Yoona say at the same time

"Of course…my clan…my whores…I need to keep it all in line…now then…YoonA..I think you should move to the clan compound. We can use this place as a safe house."

"Oh am I finally being allowed to move into the Uzumaki's compound" Yoona questioned

"Yes you are, You belong to me now so you should stay where I can reach you any time I want," You reply

YoonA stands and kisses you lovingly.

"Good…it's settled then… let's head back. I have my first official day tomorrow so let's try and take it easy for the rest of the day."

"Yayyy!" Yoona cheers as she puts on her robe and begins to grab things that she will need.

The three of you get back and head back into bed. You were so happy having them on either side of you…you snuggle with Taeyeon and kiss her.

"I love you, mommy. You're mine."

"What about me?" Yoona whines as she hugs you

You kiss her too.

"And you too.." All three of you drift to sleep shortly after.

[neferaskingdom]

is it casual part 7 whenn?

♡ Is This A Sick Joke? | CL16

PART OF MY IS IT CASUAL NOW? SERIES

Summary: As she turned and walked to the door, she heard him call her name, his voice laced with desperation, but she didn’t turn back. She couldn’t. Not this time. Because if she did, she knew she’d shatter completely.

A/N: This is my sign of life everyone. I promise I'll be back with the new season. I've just been a bit burnt out and have little inspiration without cars going vroom vroom every week. Also I'm sorry for what I'm about to do because man Charles is an asshole in this one.

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

Warning: This chapter contains non-explicit sexual content and a bit of dubious consent (she says no but he keeps going)

The weeks had dragged on, except nothing changed except an unspoken understanding between them that neither seemed willing to define. Charles, with his endless affection, his sweet words, and his tender touches, continued to treat her like something more than a friend, but when it came to labeling it, it was always the same answer: "You're my friend."

It was maddening. Every kiss, every quiet moment spent tangled in his sheets, felt like a small piece of her heart was being shattered. But nothing was official. Nothing was concrete. She wasn’t his girlfriend, she wasn’t even a priority. She was just a “friend.”

But she couldn’t keep lying to herself. The constant back and forth, the teasing, the way he’d hold her a little too tightly when they were together, made it impossible to ignore how she felt anymore. Every time she tried to bring it up, to ask him, he’d change the subject, distract her, or kiss her until the words escaped her mind altogether.

It was becoming too much. The tension between them was thick. Every touch was electric, every glance loaded with meaning. But still, he kept her at arm’s length. She wasn’t sure if he didn’t want to admit it, or if he was just too scared to name what was already so obvious to her. Either way, she couldn’t take it anymore. The frustration had built up until it felt like she was going to explode if she didn’t talk to him about it.

They were in the car, driving back from dinner. The silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t comfortable. The hum of the engine and the occasional chirp of tires on the asphalt did nothing to soothe the tightening in her chest. She knew she had to say something. She couldn’t let another week go by like this.

“Charles…” she started, her voice strained.

He glanced at her, a soft smile playing on his lips, but his eyes—his eyes were unreadable. “Hmm?”

“I can’t keep doing this,” she said, her voice quieter than she intended, but the words hung in the air, thick and heavy. “You keep calling me your friend. But that’s not how you act, Charles. It’s not how I act.”

He didn’t immediately respond. Instead, his fingers tightened around the wheel, his jaw clenching just slightly. She could tell he was trying to figure out what she was really saying.

“Isn’t it enough?” he finally asked, voice low but calm.

Her heart raced, but she forced herself to keep her cool. “No, it’s not enough. Because I don’t just want to be your friend. I need to know where we stand.” She met his gaze, her own eyes pleading, desperate for him to understand. “I’m not some side thing, Charles. I can’t keep pretending I don’t care about you, but you make it feel like I’m just... here when you need me.”

The air in the car grew thick with tension. She could see the way his muscles tightened in his shoulders, the way his jaw set. She braced herself for the inevitable distraction, the change of subject, the excuse.

But he didn’t give her one. Instead, he pulled the car over, turning the steering wheel sharply as they rolled to a stop on the side of the road, the engine still idling. Her heart hammered in her chest, but she didn’t move, didn’t break eye contact.

“Charles…” she started again, but he was already leaning across the center console, his lips capturing hers before she could say anything else. The kiss was urgent, almost desperate, as if he was trying to swallow her words, trying to stop them from spilling out.

She pulled away, her breath shaky. “No, this isn’t what I’m talking about.”

His gaze was intense as he looked at her, that familiar glint of mischief in his eyes. But there was something else there now, something softer, almost sad. He didn’t speak, just slowly unbuckled his seatbelt and slid from his side of the car to hers.

“Charles,” she whispered, trying to hold onto her resolve, but he was already moving, pushing her seat back with a gentle force that made her gasp. She felt the world tilt as he slid in between her legs, his hands on her hips, moving her with ease as though she weighed nothing. His face was inches from hers, his lips brushing her ear as he murmured, “You’re thinking too much again.”

The words felt like a slap, but she couldn’t pull away. She couldn’t seem to move. His presence was overwhelming, and for a moment, the rational part of her—the part that had wanted to talk, to have answers—drowned in the heat of his touch.

She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, he kissed her again, deeper this time, his hands threading into her hair, pulling her closer, tilting her head back. She let out a soft moan before she could stop herself, her body betraying her as he gently nudged her legs apart, sliding closer.

"Charles, please, stop…" She gasped between kisses, her hands resting on his chest as she tried to push him away, but it was like he was glued to her. His lips were everywhere—her mouth, her neck, her jawline—and every time she tried to resist, every time she tried to form the words to pull away, he kissed her again, harder, as though he could erase all her doubts.

And then, without warning, he moved lower, his hands shifting between her thighs. The sudden pressure against her made her gasp, her breath coming faster as his lips brushed against her core. She shuddered, unsure whether to pull him closer or push him away.

"Charles," she whispered again, her voice trembling, but he didn’t listen. He was focused, his mouth moving with purpose. Each touch felt deliberate, igniting a storm inside her. The sensation was electric, sending waves of warmth crashing through her.

Her body responded to him without her permission, her hands clutching at the seat, her legs instinctively parting further for him. She felt exposed, but at the same time, the way he touched her, the way he moved with such certainty, made her feel seen in a way she had never felt before.

His mouth was on her, his movements slow at first, taking his time, savoring the response he was drawing from her. Her chest tightened, every breath shallow and ragged as she could no longer hold back the growing urgency inside her. Her back arched slightly, pushing closer to him as he worked his way deeper. Every part of her seemed to pulse with need, and she could feel herself approaching the edge, a wave building inside her.

"Charles," she gasped, her hands fisting in his hair as she tried to steady herself. And then, without warning, the wave hit, flooding her senses. She cried out softly, her body trembling as the tension in her stomach exploded. It was a sensation so overwhelming she almost couldn’t breathe, the pleasure nearly too much to bear.

When she finally opened her eyes, her heart still racing, she saw him pull away, his face flushed, lips glistening. He wiped his mouth slowly, the action deliberate, like he was savoring the moment. That same playful smirk crept back onto his face, the same cocky grin that always made her heart race.

“See?” he murmured softly, brushing his thumb over her trembling cheek. “You’re overthinking things again.”

Her chest rose and fell with every breath, her body still reeling from what had just happened. She couldn’t think straight, could barely catch her breath, but the words she had tried so desperately to say, the conversation they needed to have, seemed further away than ever. He had effectively silenced her, leaving her in a haze of confusion, need, and longing.

“Relax,” he said, his voice almost gentle now. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine. Not even close. But she couldn’t find the words to argue. The words didn’t matter anymore. The only thing she could focus on now was the pulse of desire still thrumming through her veins.

As the car started up again, the night outside swallowed them whole. The conversation she had wanted to have slipped away with every mile, and she found herself wondering if they would ever be able to have it at all.

One night, as they lay tangled together, Charles’s fingers traced light patterns across her skin. He shifted beside her, and when she turned her head, she found him studying her with an unusual, nervous energy. His eyes softened, and then, almost shyly, he reached to his bedside table and pulled out a small, familiar blue Tiffany’s box.

"Here," he murmured, placing it in her hand with that boyish smile. “I got you something.”

She blinked down at the box in her hand, her heart giving an unexpected lurch. Gifts weren’t exactly their thing—at least, she didn’t think they were.

“Charles…” Her voice was barely a whisper, surprise and confusion flickering in her eyes as she lifted the lid to reveal a delicate bracelet, each link set with tiny, colorful gemstones. It sparkled in the low light, catching her breath. He gently slid it onto her wrist and watched her, something vulnerable lingering in his gaze.

“I was looking for something for Maman and saw this,” he explained quietly, reaching to take her wrist and turning it slightly to admire how it looked against her skin. “It’s… acrostic jewelry. I had it custom-made—each gemstone represents an initial. You, me, and Leo.”

For a moment, she just stared, her heart caught somewhere between wonder and dread, and when she looked back at him, a swell of emotions crashed through her. Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she hardly noticed them at first. But he did.

“Hey, hey… what’s wrong?” Charles’s expression shifted from pride to worry, his hand reaching out to gently wipe a tear away.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice was raw, almost a laugh, yet pained. “What’s wrong is you think this is okay, Charles! You think… this is normal? That we’re ‘friends’ who give each other things like this?”

He blinked, caught off guard. “What are you talking about?”

She pulled her wrist from his hand, her emotions rushing to the surface, each word spilling out faster than she could control. “You keep saying this is casual, that we’re just something fun. But then you treat me like…” She trailed off, choking on the words, and shook her head. “Charles, do you think this is some kind of sick joke?”

His brow furrowed, confusion and a hint of defensiveness flickering across his face. “What? No! Why would you even—”

“Because you keep saying we’re nothing serious, but then you give me this,” she nearly shouted, holding up the bracelet. “You say one thing, then do everything else to make me think otherwise! Friends don’t… they don’t do things like this. They don’t cling to eachother like we do, they don’t call each other just to talk the way we do, or get dogs together and pretend to be parents. You’ve been treating me better than most people treat their girlfriends, Charles, and yet you want me to believe this is nothing?”

He was silent, as if trying to process her words, his jaw clenched in frustration. “I thought we understood each other,” he said, his voice strained.

“Maybe we did in the beginning,” she shot back, her voice trembling. “But that was before all of this. Before every weekend we spent together, before the way you’d look at me or pull me close at night. Before this.” She looked at the bracelet, feeling her throat tighten. “Do you even understand how much this hurts?”

He exhaled, his gaze dropping as he ran a hand through his hair. “I never wanted to complicate things. I thought… I thought we were just…”

“Just what?” she pressed, her voice cracking. “Something temporary? A distraction? Because that’s not how you’ve been acting.”

“Look, you’re twisting this into something I didn’t mean.” His voice was low, frustration evident, but he seemed unable to meet her eyes.

She scoffed, the bitter sound punctuating the silence. “Oh, I’m twisting this? Am I imagining how you’ve been treating me, Charles?” Her words came out softer now, heartbreak coloring every syllable. “Because you’re the one doing everything that says we’re more than… whatever you’re calling us.”

He opened his mouth, struggling for a response, and for a moment she thought he might say something—something that could make this all hurt less. But he simply shook his head, as though at a loss.

“I’m sorry if I—”

“Don’t you dare apologize.” Her voice was low, filled with a raw vulnerability. “What I need isn’t an apology. I need to know if any of this is real to you. Or was it all just a game? Did you even think for a second what it might mean to me when you keep blurring the lines?”

Charles looked at her with a mix of frustration and sorrow, his face conflicted. “I don’t know what to tell you. We had an agreement. We wouldn’t turn this into something serious.”

“An agreement?” she echoed, her laugh hollow. “Charles, maybe that was true at the start, but people change. Feelings change. And you can’t expect me to just… pretend none of this matters, not when you treat me like…” She looked away, blinking back the tears. “Like I’m more than just a fling.”

He reached out, taking her hand again, his thumb brushing over her knuckles with a tenderness that almost made her falter. “Please… you don’t have to leave. We’re good together, you know that.”

She yanked her hand away, hurt flashing in her eyes. “Are we? Good together? Then why can’t you even tell me how you feel? Why can’t you admit that you care?”

He stared at her, and she saw something like regret in his gaze, his mouth opening as if to say something—anything—but no words came.

The silence stretched, and with each second, her heart broke a little more.

“If you can’t tell me, right now, that you feel something more… then I’m walking out.” Her voice was thick with emotion, her resolve barely holding as she turned to reach for her clothes.

Charles’s face fell, and he reached out in a panic, grabbing her arm. “Wait—don’t do this. Please, just…” His voice cracked, desperation creeping in as he tried to pull her closer. “I need you to stay.”

She looked up at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. “Stay for what, Charles? So you can keep stringing me along, pretending we’re something when it suits you and denying it when it doesn’t? I can’t keep doing this to myself. I deserve more than that.”

He swallowed hard, his hand loosening on her arm, yet he didn’t let go entirely. “I… I don’t know what you want me to say,” he murmured, his voice barely audible.

“I want you to tell me that you care, Charles. That I’m not just someone convenient. But if you can’t…” She took a deep breath, gathering every last ounce of courage she had. “Then I need to leave.”

For a moment, he held onto her, his grip tightening as if he couldn’t bear to let her go. “Please don’t. You know you mean more than that,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

But he couldn’t give her what she needed, and she knew that as long as she stayed, he never would. With a final, trembling sigh, she pulled away, ignoring the way his hands lingered, as if he could somehow hold on to her just a little longer.

As she turned and walked to the door, she heard him call her name, his voice laced with desperation, but she didn’t turn back. She couldn’t. Not this time. Because if she did, she knew she’d shatter completely.

Taglist: @dullypully @sageskiesf1 @firefirevampire @eloriis @meadhbhcavanagh @raweceeks @amyelevenn @leclrcg @anunstablefangirl @chaoswithus @spngirl05 @bigdickdannyric1

@doofenshmirtzevil-inc @linneaguriii @gaslysainz @leclercdream @sltwins @freyathehuntress @weekendlusting @cmleitora @shitposterniti @slutforbammargera1

[deadpanjisung]

❦for life❦ | in life pt. 2

part one: ❦ in life ❦ pairing: lee know x afab!reader; i.n x afab!reader, suggestive i.n x lee know genre: angst, smut, fluff wc: 5.9k cw: use of y/n, swearing, mentions of sadness, anxiety, mental health issues, unconventional relationship dynamics, threesome, breast play, masturbation (female & male), unprotected sex, missionary sex, prone bone, teasing, multiple cre4mpies, breeding kink if you squint (sorry if i missed any) feedback is encouraged ◡̈ i hope you enjoy♡ -˚₊‧꒰ა ginny ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

“Y/N-nnie?” Jeongin sought your attention. You had been lounging on your living room couch, watching Jeongin play a game on his console. 

You had been splitting your time between Minho and Jeongin almost evenly since the incident. The incident that made you see relationships with a whole new perspective. When it came to relationships, you were anything but conventional; still, it was out of your ‘norm’ to be romantically involved with two people, let alone, two members of the same group. Your boyfriend, now using his title, and one of his closest friends. 

You knew that Minho was the love of your life; you had no doubt about that. That was precisely why you were so conflicted when you started feeling differently around —and towards Jeongin. The conversation with Minho had been postponed until Jeongin felt comfortable enough to have it. So, you usually spent time with them separately, with Minho’s previous consent; because your relationship with Minho was already established, unlike you and Jeongin. 

The rest of the members weren’t aware of your current arrangement— at least not to your knowledge. You opted to keep it private until things cleared up amongst the three of you. You and Hyunjin had agreed that you wouldn’t have sex again; still, your relationship was never amorous, just sex and friendship. In order to hang out with Jeongin in the privacy of your apartment or their dorm, you had to create an elaborate scheme. 

“Yes, Innie?” You asked, snapping out of your thoughts. 

“We’re leaving for two months in less than a week.” He reminded you. You rolled your eyes. 

“Why would you say that?” You whined, kicking your legs on the couch. “I’m depressed enough already.”

“No. I’m just saying… maybe we should have the talk.” He clarified. “Minho hyung and I will be alone at some point, and I think we’ll feel compelled to talk about it anyways.  I’d rather have you here too.” You nodded.

“Want me to call him up?” You asked, Jeongin shook his head.

“No, this is my day.” He said, wrapping his arm around you, making you lean back into his chest.

“Well, too bad. I’m here now.” Minho announced as he barged in the door. “I got bored and then, I thought hey, I have a whole girlfriend in her apartment hanging out with this random boy. I should go over there. So, I came here.” He sat on the other side of your couch and leaned into you so he could kiss your lips.

“How long have you been spying on us?” You questioned him. “I don’t think I like this new habit of yours.”

“Long enough.” He said, a slight blush creeping into his ears. “I missed you. I didn’t miss you, though.” He looked at Jeongin during the latter statement. 

“This was supposed to be my day, hyung.” Jeongin snapped at him. “You can hang out with Y/N any day, no questions asked.” Jeongin pouted. 

“Look, Jeonginnie. I love you and I love Y/N. But she’s also kind of my girlfriend and I want to be with her before we leave.” Minho deadpanned. “So, yeah, you’re stuck with me today. I do think we should have the conversation, by the way.” He winked at Jeongin. 

“So, can I order some bulgogi pizza or something?” You asked. 

“I’m on a diet.” Minho and Jeongin said simultaneously. You rolled your eyes.

“I get it, but c’mon, we’re going to have a, possibly, traumatizing conversation. We need the comfort food.” You negotiated. 

“Fine.” Jeongin caved in. You looked at Minho and he nodded, rolling his eyes but took out his phone and left the room to order the food. Minho returned a few minutes later.

“The pizza will be here in twenty minutes.” Minho announced and he sat back down next to you, placing your legs on top of his lap. “So, you want to do this now… or?”

“Sure, let’s get it over with.” You replied. 

“I want to be with you.” You broke the ice, looking at Minho. “With you too.” You turned to Jeongin. “But I also want you two to be able to be in the same room with me and not crash out.”

“You’re my girlfriend, though.” Minho grinned, proudly. Jeongin glared at him.

“This is exactly what I mean. Thanks, Min.” You pointed out, Minho’s smug smile faded. “I like both of you, that’s pretty evident. I don’t need you two to be in love or anything, but I do want to hang out with of you at the same time. Instead of feeling like a child of an ugly divorce with joint custody.” 

“Noona, don’t call yourself a child of divorce, please.” Jeongin said, visibly bothered at the thought of him and Minho being your parents in this scenario.

“Why don’t we try it out, Jeonginnie?” Minho inquired, staring straight at Jeongin in a defiance.

“I’m not giving you that satisfaction, hyung.” Jeongin said with a grin on his face. “We’re doing this peacefully, like noona wants.”

“Thanks, Innie.” 

“Kiss ass.” Minho muttered under his breath.

“Min, c’mon.” You interrupted. “I do think we could try it out, though.” You looked at Jeongin, who was fiddling with his ring. “If you feel comfortable with it, of course.” His eyes bore into yours. 

“Anything for you, Y/N-nnie.” Jeongin said. “I’m willing to try it out.”

“Anything for Y/N?” Minho asked.

“Anything.” Jeongin reassured, looking at Minho in the same defiance that Minho assumed.

“Would you kiss me if Y/N-nnie wanted?” Minho tested the waters.

“I know Y/N-nnie wouldn’t make me do anything that I don’t want to do.” Jeongin argued.

“Good boy.” Minho added. “Would you watch me and Y/N-nnie?” Jeongin blushed furiously at the mention of watching you and Minho again. You looked over at him and took his hand.

“Min, stop teas-“

“Yeah, I would.” Jeongin interrupted. “Would you watch me and Y/N-nnie?”

“Gladly.” Minho replied without hesitation. “I’d even join you, if you want.” Jeongin scoffed at Minho’s flirting.

“You wouldn’t.” Jeongin argued.

“Want to bet?” Minho asked, leaning over you, closer to Jeongin.

“Min…” You warned as you pushed his chest back into his place.

“What? You don’t want him to know that you want us both at the same time?” Minho asked you. Jeongin’s eyes widened, and he tightened his grip on your hand. You sighed.

“Minho, please.” 

“You’re being dishonest with him, Y/N.” Minho riled you up. 

“Is that true, Y/N?” Jeongin asked, in a hushed voice. You sighed again.

“Only if you want to.” You said, glaring at Minho who sat there smirking. 

“I’d be open to trying things out.” Jeongin said. Minho scoffed but his eyes betrayed him in his surprise. You didn’t expect that reaction either, especially coming from Jeongin. “Yeah, why not? Once won’t hurt.” He smirked at Minho.

“Great!” Minho said, as he clapped his hands. “After it happens, if it happens. We can actually  work things out, then.” He stood up, leaving you and Jeongin lounging in the couch. 

You didn’t give out an immediate reaction to that statement, still angry at Minho for his insistence. Jeongin didn’t react either, but you could feel his heart beating faster as you laid across his chest. Minho didn’t leave, neither did Jeongin. You both ate in silence when the pizza arrived, watched a few episodes of the current anime you were watching and went to sleep. Minho took your guest bedroom, respecting your and Jeongin’s day, only because you couldn’t all comfortably fit in your bed. You and Jeongin were too tense to do anything; you just cuddled, basking in each other’s warmth. 

———————————-

Minho and Jeongin spent their last week in Korea rehearsing and attempting to keep up with their ever-so-busy schedules. You engulfed yourself in your work, late night recording sessions helped you cope with the inevitable separation. Minho and Jeongin slept in your apartment that last night. They kept their distance from each other, yet they stayed attached to you. That night, they peppered you with kisses and reassuring words as you softly sobbed against your satin pillow. 

They left early in the morning; you kissed both of them goodbye. You weren’t a stranger to being apart from Minho, powering through the never-ending tours and other schedules. Despite that, you felt more anxious when they left; your heart beat fast, you couldn’t stop crying. It’s only two months. 

Insecure thoughts plagued your mind, out of your control. You returned to being the person that you once were. The person that turned down the love of her life because she didn’t think she was worthy of love. You distanced yourself from them without noticing. You spent your days and nights in your shabby recording studio, working on a million projects at a time —none of them were worthy of a concept. You either barely slept or slept through days at a time. 

A month passed and you’d gotten used to this new pace. You promised both Jeongin and Minho that you were keeping up with your self-care; when in reality, you did everything but. Your fingers mindlessly tapped to the rhythm of Gaon’s guitar, Gunil sat next to you and offered his expert opinion. 

You were surprised to receive an email from J.Y.P himself, granting you three vacation days for next week. You started frantically typing an email to let him know that you hadn’t asked for time off. A call from Minho cut you off, you answered him.

“Hi jagi. We were going to surprise you, but I guess pd-nim kind of spoiled it for us, huh?” His voice rang from the phone. “I know you’ve seen Stray Kids a bunch of times already, but we missed you so much. We asked pd-nim if you could come to one of our shows.”

“And he agreed?” You asked.

“I expected a thanks, Min. I miss you too and I’m so happy we get to see each other.” 

“Thanks, Min. I miss you too and I’m so happy we get to see each other again.” You echoed. “You just caught me by surprise, that’s all. I really appreciate the gesture.”

“I know you, Y/N, more than you think. Even J.Y.P said you were working yourself too hard.” He added. “You leave next Thursday night, the concert’s on Friday and we can spend Saturday and Sunday having sex. It’s a win-win.” Minho teased, you chuckled.

“I missed that…you.” You said. “Who’s going to take care of Meadow, though?”

“Who do you think I am?” Minho scoffed. “I already spoke with Jihyo.” You chuckled.

“I am impressed with your planning skills.” You said, shifting your attention towards Gunil and Gaon, who were impatiently waiting for you. “Thank you, a lot, Min. I think I really need this. But I’m recording Gaon now, I should go. Love you.”

“I love you too, jagi. Don’t overwork yourself.” Minho said before you hung up. 

You checked your phone once more to see a message from a petty Jeongin who wanted to share the news with you before Minho did, and your plane tickets. 

You felt guilty for your half-assed songs, seeking assistance from other producers and lyricists as well. Knowing that you were seeing Minho and Jeongin sooner than expected made your head feel clearer. It motivated you to focus on the details instead of mass-producing your labor. You, with assistance, were able to save some tracks and pitch an idea for a concept. Nonetheless, you were disappointed at how codependent you had become to Minho and Jeongin’s presence, even with their tight schedule. 

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The trip to Japan was relatively pleasant, mostly because it was already familiar to you. You enjoyed visiting the quiet streets of Kurashiki with Minho when you had time off. Or the loud Tokyo nightlife, in rarer occasions. The taxi dropped you off at your hotel and you met with one of Minho’s security guards, in order to get the key to your room. 

The hotel room was cozy, familiar; like you had already been there before. The soft beige and brown interior were everything you needed at the moment. The king-sized bed was more than comfortable to your exhausted body. It made you feel peace. The same kind of peace of mind you had been longing for nearly two months. 

You were startled by your phone ringing next to you, discarded inside your purse. Jeongin.

“Hey, Innie.” You answered casually.

“Hi baby. How was your flight?” He asked.

“Baby and everything?” You teased. Jeongin was so silent that you could nearly see him blushing on the other side. 

“Yes, baby. I can’t wait to see you.” He reaffirmed. “I’ve missed you like crazy.” 

“I’ve missed you more than I’d like to admit…” You said. “I need one of your stiff and apprehensive cuddle sessions asap.” Jeongin chuckled.

“I’d like nothing more than to hug and kiss you right now.” He added. Suddenly, some commotion was audible from Jeongin’s side. “Ah. It seems that I’ve been discovered. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, love.” 

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Your heart felt warm whilst listening to Jeongin’s voice, his laugh; despite talking to him on the daily, it had been a while since you heard him laugh. You felt a sudden heat in between your legs. You’d be more than happy to just cuddle with them at night. But getting off hasn’t been the same without them either. 

You shook your sinful thoughts away for the time being and focused on self-care. Minho and Jeongin had left you a basket full of skincare and assortments of body-creams, bath bombs and exfoliants as they knew that you loved to unwind like that. You ran yourself a bath, with no rush whatsoever. You wanted to enjoy the moment and give yourself time to feel the warm water, to smell the rosemary-mint bath bomb, to appreciate the unfamiliar silence… 

Until it was time for the concert. You dressed as comfortably as you could, ready to scream your heart out for your favorite group in the world, composed of two of your favorite people in the entire universe. One of the boys’ designated chauffeurs picked you up at your hotel and drove you to the packed venue. You received a text from Minho, as you pulled up to the venue.

Min: I want to hear you scream tonight. love you. 

Y/N: I promise you will. ilysm. 

And you kept your promise. You screamed until your lungs almost gave out, you sang every song, and you even shed a tear or two. Seeing them perform made it all worth it, you knew all of the sacrifices that they made were necessary to achieve their dreams. You also knew that you loved them too much to get in between of their dreams… You needed to learn to manage your feelings of loneliness by yourself.  

You quietly left the venue, escorted by the same chauffeur, who made sure that you arrived at the hotel as soon as you could. But you knew that they were already there, and they’d been waiting for you as longingly as you were waiting for them.

You stepped into the busy hotel and went straight to the elevator, paying no attention to your surroundings. Your fingers trembled as they pushed the button to the floor you were staying in. Then, your hands trembled as they opened the door to your shared room.

Minho and Jeongin were sitting on the bed with bath robes on, their heads turned away from the television to look at you. Your eyes welled up with tears, joyful and sorrowful ones alike. You sprinted as fast as your feet took you and straddled both Minho and Jeongin in a joint hug.

“My baby…” Minho whispered as he stroked your hair, tightening the hug; making you sink deeper into their chests. “I felt the difference in the crowd, y’know?” You looked up to him. “I think Jeonginnie agrees. I felt you there with us.” You looked over at Jeongin who was holding back tears of his own.

“I swear that I could even hear you at one point.” Jeongin agreed, leaning down to kiss your lips so gently that you barely even felt his lips if it wasn’t for the electricity between you. 

“I did scream for you once when everyone was quiet.” You admitted, a slight blush creeping onto your face. “Maybe you did hear that.” Jeongin chuckled.

“How are you, baby?” He asked, Minho nodded. 

“I’m fine, it’s whatever. How are you two?” You asked. “You guys must be exhausted!”

“Are you kidding me? Just seeing you makes me more energetic than ever.” Jeongin countered. 

“It has been tiring.” Minho differed, “but we do intend to spend the best weekend with you.” 

“I would hope so! I did come all this way to see you two.” You teased them. “I missed you more than I’d like to admit.”

“It hasn’t been easy for me either…” Minho empathized. “And this stupid kid spends most of his day watching and rewatching your stories on instagram.” Jeongin blushed furiously. 

“N-No, uh, h-hyung, what the hell?” Jeongin stuttered. “You’re no better! You just sulk around me because nobody understands you better!”

“Ah, I see you’re getting along well, then.” You chuckled. 

“I think we’ve made progress.” Minho agreed. Jeongin scoffed in response. 

“How did you even manage to both be here, by the way?” You asked. 

“Well… we’ve kind of been roommates for the whole tour…” Jeongin admitted. “You know, so it wasn’t that weird when you came over.”

“So, you planned this a while ago, huh?”

“I think we were both sure that you’d come visit us at some moment.” Minho added. “The others were a bit confused, though. But who cares?” He wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed you. “I don’t give a fuck if anyone knows about us, as long as I can do this whenever I want.” You kissed him back, passionately, more so than you intended. Jeongin cleared his throat. You looked over at him and extended your arm to him, he cuddled closer to your side.

“Jealous?” Minho teased Jeongin, as he tightened his grip on your waist. Jeongin kissed your neck, softly and subtly; making you shiver at his lips against you. “Ah! Jeonginnie, don’t you know? Your hyung gets the first round.” Jeongin deadpanned.

“As if!” He scoffed. “I’ve been waiting for this as long as you have.” You stared at them blankly, wanting to see how they compromised with each other. Still, you were ready to intervene if they got too heated. 

“Do you think I care about that?” Minho teased with a smirk on his face. Flirting. Minho was actually, genuinely flirting with Jeongin. “You know what? Let’s leave this to Y/N, then.” They turned to you again, gaining your visibility once more. “Who do you want first?”

The question caught you off-guard. You hadn’t expected to be asked that; and, in all honesty, you had never even given a thought to who would go first or second or last. 

“You don’t have to answer that.” Jeongin interrupted your thoughts. “It’s unfair that you’re always putting her on the spot.” 

“She’s the one who decided that I wasn’t enough for her. She’s so greedy that she needs to be fucking the whole group, right?” Minho said, Jeongin looked visibly bothered by his comment. It dwelled on you that he had never seen or heard your and Minho’s more intimate dynamic. Your hand found Jeongin’s and squeezed it.

“It’s okay.” You whispered to Jeongin. “I like it like this —the three of us— if that makes me greedy, so what?” He looked taken aback, his nose scrunched as his eyes scanned your expression; you smirked in response. You could almost see the gears turning in his head, leading him to smirk at you and then, at Minho in return. 

“I think she’s okay with the two of us for now.” Jeongin said, looking at you for approval. You hummed in amusement. 

“I think so, too, Innie.” 

“The two of us at the same time?” Minho suggested, challenging Jeongin.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Minho agreed, “let’s show Y/N who she really belongs to.” Minho’s eyes never diverted from yours, not even to entertain Jeongin’s. “Y/N without threesomes with Hyunjin or cuddles that last too long with Felix…”

“Or flirting with Jisung hyung..” Jeongin added, visibly growing more comfortable with the situation in front of him. “Or late nights at the studio with Changbin hyung…”

“I think I get it.” You interrupted, growing frustrated at their banter. “I don’t mean any of that. I like you —both of you.” 

“I don’t think liking us cuts it anymore.” Minho said, “I think you should love us.” 

Heat creeped onto your cheeks at Minho’s mention of love. You weren’t a stranger to telling Minho that you loved him. You had never told Jeongin that you loved him, even if you were sure that you did, even if you tried to show him without saying it. You loved him as a friend and you were growing to love him as a partner as well, but you weren’t quite sure if it was too early. 

You looked at Jeongin’s own blushing profile, he gulped at your expression and squeezed your waist in reassurance. Minho snickered. 

“You two are too cute.” Minho gushed. “Puppy love is adorable.” Jeongin rolled his eyes at Minho. 

“Is this going to take all weekend?” You asked, sardonically. 

“Impatient, huh?”

“Well, if Minho hyung isn’t done with his thing…I’ll go first.” Jeongin spoke up. You were surprised at his volunteering; but you also knew that Minho was just riling you both up. He wanted to see who snapped first; not him, of course. Minho could do this all night. 

Jeongin’s slender fingers reached up to cup your face, making you face him once again. You looked deep into his eyes (that grew narrower and narrower with his smile). Jeongin pressed his lips onto yours, more passionate than before. Your own lips welcomed him with eagerness; the feeling of his tongue intertwining with yours enticed the wetness between your legs. 

You shifted to straddle Jeongin’s lap, instantly feeling his hard bulge beneath your clothed core. His hands flew from your waist to the hem of your t-shirt, dragging it upwards. You raised your arms, inevitably breaking the kiss as he took off your top. You looked at Minho who sat on the furthest corner of the cool hotel bed. His hand was shamelessly palming his prominent bulge, lips slightly parted. The sight in itself made you want to moan. 

“M-Min…” You started. He shushed you. 

“I know, baby. Jeonginnie’s taking good care of you, huh?” Minho panted. You nodded in frantic agreement as Jeongin’s hands worked on the clasp of your bra and his lips gently bit into the tender flesh of your neck. You couldn’t suppress your moans anymore; letting out a guttural moan, you saw how Minho’s demeanor completely changed. Jeongin’s lips dragged themselves to your sensitive breasts, popping a nipple into the wetness of his mouth. 

You watched how Minho’s hand slipped beneath his underwear, making his glorious cock spring free from its confines. Your mouth watered upon the sight of his small hand dragging itself through his shaft; slowly and teasingly while Jeongin worked his own magic on your breasts. 

“F-fuck. I missed this so much.” Jeongin groaned as he removed his lips from your swollen bud. “You should come on tour with us… and we can take c-care of you… all the time.” Listening to Jeongin whine such words made your heart swell, even if they were pussydrunk statements that he didn’t mean. 

“A-Ah. I need you to touch me, Innie.” You moaned in response, listening to Minho’s faint grunts in the distance. You started dragging yourself on Jeongin’s lap, desperate to feel friction where you needed it most.

“Y-you should’ve told me, baby.” Jeongin moaned, detaching himself from your breast where purple bruises were already starting to form. 

You lifted yourself off of Jeongin’s lap and shimmied out of your thin skirt. Jeongin’s hands grabbed at your hips, hooking two fingers into your panties, carefully dragging them down your legs. You nearly shivered when you felt the air conditioning hit your wet core. 

“You’re so fucking wet, baby.” Minho interrupted, his eyes shimmered as they stared at your cunt. “I need to taste you.” His already naked body neared yours, Jeongin watched Minho with weary eyes. 

“It’s my turn, hyung.” Jeongin reminded him, a warning of sorts. But you knew he wouldn’t do anything. 

“Now you mind?” Minho questioned. “You didn’t mind me joining when we masturbated to that video last week… or the week before that.” What the fuck? That did catch you off-guard. Jeongin and Minho jerking off together? You couldn’t believe it. Jeongin scoffed.

“Is that true, Innie?” You asked, batting your lashes at him. Jeongin hesitantly nodded.

“You sent us that video and… fuck… it made both of us so hard….” Jeongin admitted. “We watched it like ten times that night…” 

You imagined how it went, Minho and Jeongin so desperate, so needy that they couldn’t even leave the room to take care of themselves. Jeongin shamefully giving into his arousal; Minho shamelessly teasing him. It nearly made your mouth water.

“That’s so hot.” You said, still in disbelief of the sight before you. Minho and Jeongin, now both naked in front of you, hard as a rock, cocks leaking for you. “I’m so sad that I missed it… why don’t you show me how it went?” Minho shot a smug smile at you, whilst Jeongin widened his eyes. You sat back, using your own fingers to tease your entrance, the feeling of your arousal surprised even you. 

Minho broke the ice, of course, he wrapped his hand around his cock once more, hissing at the familiar feeling of it; his eyes were closed. You took in the sight, admiring his face, the way his lashes fell on his cheeks, his muscular arm setting a fast and sinful pace. Jeongin looked at Minho for a second, then back at you. He knew that you would never force him to no anything. With that, his own hand betrayed his resistance, moving back and forth around his shaft, fingers lightly teasing his leaking cockhead. You stared at Jeongin too, biting your lip, just like him. His pace was sloppier than Minho’s, more desperate, his grip was tighter, too.

Your own fingers worked their way on yourself, attempting to match Minho and Jeongin’s paces as best as you could; moaning at the scene that unraveled before you. You felt almost… jealous? At the fact that they could do this together whenever they wanted. You wanted to be there with them… to witness this…the special moments, the firsts. The fear of missing out engulfed your senses, your fingers moved against yourself as a form of revenge… because Minho and Jeongin couldn’t touch you at the moment. 

Minho’s movements halted abruptly, as he pressed his other hand onto Jeongin’s shoulder. 

“Why did you stop?” You asked as you continued to pump your fingers in and out of you.

“The only place I’ll come is inside of you.” Minho replied. “And Jeonginnie too.” 

“I can’t argue with that.” Jeongin added.

“If that’s what you want.” You challenged. “Who’s first, then?” Minho and Jeongin looked at each other. 

“Jeongin always goes first.” Minho replied, looking at Jeongin, while the latter gulped.

Jeongin crawled further into the bed, closer to where your body laid. You could easily feel the heat between your bodies. The lust you felt betrayed your need to appear as unbothered. He grabbed the base of his cock and inched it closer to you until his tip was nudging at your moistened entrance. He looked at you and you nodded in approval. His cock was inside you in a swift movement of his hips. 

You hissed at the unforgotten yet currently foreign feeling of his dick inside of you after the month. Jeongin visibly struggled to suppress a moan or a groan from slipping out. You reached upwards to cradle his face. He leaned down to kiss your lips with the same fervor as he did earlier. Jeongin started to move his hips, and you felt the hair on the base of his cock tease your folds; the closeness was unbelievable to you. Minho laid down next to you and pressed his lips to your neck as his hand worked on his cock in a relaxed pace. 

You let out a moan when Jeongin snapped his hips into yours at a harder intensity, feeling every vein inside of your aching core. His length disappeared inside of you like it was meant to be there. Your walls welcomed his warmth like a prophecy, and you couldn’t help but moan curses every time you felt the revelation that was sex with Jeongin; his cockhead kissing your cervix in an immeasurable amount of pleasure. Minho’s fingers dived to work on your clit, setting a offbeat pace to Jeongin’s; which, admittedly, made the experience even more arousing. The mismatched tempos made you feel warm inside — warm and fuzzy and confused and sinful—- and that feeling made you cum. Your orgasm surprised you whilst you clenched harshly around Jeongin, whose release was triggered in an instant. You felt Jeongin’s thick, hot cum fill you up so deliciously that you wanted to keep it inside of you forever. Your walls milked everything from him as he spasmed inside of you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. Jeongin settled next to you, still panting from the intensity of his orgasm. 

Minho placed a pillow under you, you turned around, so your stomach laid comfortably on top of the pillow, which gave you support at the same time. You and Minho usually had sex in this position when he knew that you were already exhausted. You could already feel Jeongin’s cum leaking out of you and you clenched your legs together in order to stop it from dripping. 

“Are you ready, baby?” Jeongin asked with a smirk, you looked down to see his spent cock —a dripping mess but half-hard against his happy trail. You nodded, looking back at Minho, who was positioning his cock on your entrance. 

“Aw, Jeonginnie stretched you so well for me.” Minho remarked, prodding his cock inside of you in an agonizingly slow pace. 

Minho’s cock felt comforting inside of you, even if once upon a time, it had been intimidating to fit in you. His girth always surprised you, making you feel every inch of him in great detail. You sought out to remember him entirely, how he feels inside of you; how he groans and moans and teases you with his pace. Minho’s expert hips were angled perfectly so you could feel him in the deepest depths of your cunt but also your soul. Sex with Minho was different, it was ardent and intimate and experienced. You had done this hundreds of times with him and it still made your heartbeat like it was the first. 

“You feel otherworldly, baby.” Minho groaned into your ear as his hips kept a steady rhythm. “You make me want to come instantly. I feel like a virgin.” You chuckled lightly, not being able to register much of was he was saying; too cockdrunk to care. “I missed being inside of you. I missed fucking cum further into you… even if it’s not mine.” 

You looked at Jeongin who was smiling proudly despite of the blush on his cheeks. 

“You two look really good too.” Jeongin confessed. “You’re perfect, Y/N.”

Minho quickened his pace inside of you, clearly aroused by Jeongin’s praise. Minho’s thrusts were so powerful that both Jeongin and the room looked blurry in your eyes. You could only feel the absolute pleasure of Minho’s thrusts and Jeongin’s praise. So, you closed your eyes and took everything in.

You lowered your hand to your swollen clit and circled it gently, setting a similar rhythm to Minho’s thrusts. You felt two sets of lips kissing down your shoulders and spine. Even with your eyes closed, you could tell who Minho was and who was Jeongin. You continued rubbing your clit, chasing your impending climax. 

“F-fuck! Keep doing that, please.” You begged. 

“Don’t beg, baby or I’ll cum just now.” Minho grunted. You felt yourself clenching around him.  

“Cum, Min. Cum.” You cried. 

“I can’t.” He groaned. “Two loads of cum… might get you pregnant.” He said, in between pants, and you felt his cock twitch inside of you.

“So, what?” You said, “don’t you want to fill me up? Jeonginnie filled me up well, but I know there’s room for you.” Minho moaned against your shoulder, lightly biting it. That’s when you felt your orgasm approaching you. 

You felt yourself spasm, and you could see both white and the faint memories of you and Minho and Jeongin together as you came. Minho tried to pull out, but your moans and your clenching felt so right that he couldn’t bear to. Minho spasmed as well, filling you up to the brim with generous amounts of his cum. It felt warm and fuzzy and lovely inside of you. It made you feel complete, in a way. You were, quite literally, full of love —full of the people that you loved. 

Minho gave you one last kiss on your head and collapsed to your other side. You turned to look at Jeongin, who was panting too. You looked down to see his cock laying in a pool of his own cum on his abdomen. He kissed your lips gently. And then, you looked at Minho who was catching his breath. His chest heaved; the thatch of hair on his pubic bone was matted with a mix of all your climaxes. You smiled and turned back to Jeongin.

“I do love you.” You blurted out in an unintentional confession to his dazed form. “Shit— sorry.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” Jeongin grinned widely as he, himself confessed his love for you. “I’m glad that you love me back.”

“Me too...” You smiled at him and turned your head to look at Minho. “I love you, Min.”

“I love you most, baby.” He said and looked at Jeongin with his signature smirk. “I hope you know that we really love you.”

“And that you’re my —our favorite person in the world…” Jeongin added. “We talked about this one night, sorry. We want to make things work.”

“The three of us?” You asked, in your own dazed confusion.

“The three of us.” Minho reassured. 

You let out a sigh of relief.  

“I love you both.”

The End

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°

 a/n: this was actually really hard to write but I knew that I had to give them a sweet ending <3 it took me like a billion years but this throuple is so dear to me 

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・ Copyright Ⓒ 2025 by deadpanjisung All rights reserved. ☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・

[certifiedsexed]

is it possible to ask for consent too much

For example I'm a girl in my first relationship and when me and my girlfriend are kissing i basically ask if she's alright with stuff every time I move my hand a millimeter

I'm scared I'm making her uncomfortable but I also worry I'm being annoying by asking so much

She's said she's alright with everything I do (mainly where I put my hands, like on her back or whether it's above or under her t-shirt) and she'll tell me if I do anything wrong but I don't want her to have to do that if that makes sense

Thanks :)

Well, this kind of depends on the situation but I think in your situation, there's a very simple solution here.

Ask your girlfriend. Does it bother her when you ask repeatedly like that? Does it make her annoyed or feel like you don't trust her to speak up?

If it doesn't, you're fine. You're allowed to be anxious, Anon and it makes sense you want to make your girlfriend as comfortable as possible. And if it doesn't bother your girlfriend, no, you're not asking too much.

But if it does bother her, then you need to work on letting her state her boundaries if she needs to and asking less, not necessarily stopping completely. It's still okay to be anxious, just make sure to be aware of her feelings too.

End point, talk to her. There's no way to know without communicating with her and it's much better to discuss things like that than worry secretly.

I hope this helps, Anon. Lemme know if you have any other questions! <3

[shwoyo]

figure skater gf hcs ! ﹫kuroo ; tsukishima

🏷️: fem!reader, figure skater!reader, fluff, mentions of injury, not proof-read :P

wc: 567

a/n: FUCK lmaoo I'm so sorry to the anon on this post,, i did not read it properly. SO here !!! I'm so sorry again oh my golly. also, i do not know how to figure skate SO i'm keepin' it simple

𝜗𝜚 TSUKISHIMA KEI

neutral when he first finds out about it

but once he sees you perform, he's in awe

he just finds it so amazing !!

but of course he'll hide that feeling LOL

technically not hide... he just won't speak up about it unless mentioned

will complain every time you ask him to come with you so he could watch, but is actually very happy inside

will record you every time he's watching, with consent of course !!!

he'll post it on his story

he is so PROUD watching you skate on ice

when he's watching, he looks at you as if you enchanted him i fear

rolls his eyes when the other first years ask about you and your figure skating skills, but he will yapyapyap about it, answering their questions as if it was a thesis defense

but its just because he's so proud !!

would wanna learn how to figure skate but in secret... just to surprise you

would probably be just good at skating around, not those flips and spins

oh would secretly LOVE those dates where it's only you and him on the rink, and some indie music is playing on the background

would be so worried if you ever sprained your ankle/injure yourself

"what were you doing stupid?" "you need to be careful next time, please" "don't be so careless with your moves, okay?"

he's only saying that because he's worried okay !!

wouldn't deny going to watch you skate anymore, because he's so worried now that he has to keep an eye on you 24/7

𝜗𝜚 KUROO TETSURO

would ask so many questions when he finds out that you figure skate

"that's so cool!" "when did you start?" "was it hard for you?"

is just very curious and is amazed with what you do

the first time he watches you on ice, he's cheering so hard

he loves flexing you, esp towards yaku

"my girlfriend is so cool, i bet you can't find anyone better than her" he says with a grin

yaku would just roll his eyes LOL

he would record every performance of yours, even practices! (and would also be the only reason he's shutting up while watching you)

would be the one to ask when you'll go to the rink, so he can come with you and watch

on times where its only you and him on the rink, he'll skate with you

but he sucks a little so he falls on his ass most of the time

but the moment would be lovey dovey fun

will eventually learn how to skate properly, with your help of course, and he would be so annoying about it

"y/n, let's go to the rink today!" "y/n, d'ya wanna skate?" "y/n, i'm bored, let's skate!"

but who are you to deny him right

oh would be so worried when you get injured

he's gentle/angry worried, he's speaking so softly while his eyebrows are furrowed

"i told you to be safe, didn't i?" "you should've been more careful, should've watched your moves slowly" "let this be a lesson to be more careful next time, yeah?"

he would just be so caring while you recover

would buy everything you want

would just be by your side 24/7 until you fully recovered

once you do, he's watching your every performance and practices very closely than he did before

but of course, would still have the same enthusiasm as he did before!

© shwoyo, all rights reserved.

[sycamoregirlsworld]

Temporary Fix- L. Castellan

part two to stockholm syndrome

part one here

luke x fem! reader

warnings!: SMUT. luke is a munch. this is also my first time writing smut, so..

“You can own me and we'll call this what you like. Let me be your good night” - one direction

Luke and (Y/n) had stumbled their way back to the cabins in a love drunk stupor. Their fingers were intertwined as they pulled each other along, laughing and shushing one another as got closer to cabins.

As soon as they entered the Hermes cabin Luke had (Y/n) shoved against the wall, his lips eagerly exploring her neck.

“Luke—” She tried to laugh as she felt his curls tickle her jaw, but a breathy moan came out as he found her sweet spot.

“Shh..” Luke shushed as he blindly reached a hand up to cover her mouth. “Lemme’ make you feel good.”

She grinned against his hand, still not believing this was really happening. After years of dreaming about being in this position with Luke and then accepting that it would never be real, here she was.

And the feeling of Luke’s lips were very real.

After a moment, Luke pulled away and looked at her neck with a proud smile, tracing across her skin with his thumb.

(Y/n)’s jaw dropped and she smacked a hand up to her neck. “Did you just- did you give me a hickey, Luke?”

“Gotta claim what’s mine.” Luke shrugged as he grabbed her hands and dragged her back towards his bed.

Heat rushed to her cheeks at the word ‘mine.’ Did he really mean that? Was she really his?

“So— you were really serious?” She asked as she sat on his bed, Luke standing above her and brushing hair away from her forehead. “You love me? And I’m your girlfriend?”

Luke’s hand stopped and he frowned at her. “You’re so stupid, sometimes. It’s cute.”

Before she could protest his words, Luke had pushed her back onto the bed and situated himself between her legs as he pressed his lips to hers.

(Y/n) quickly melted into the kiss, hands reaching up to his cheeks in order to pull him closer.

The kiss was sloppy and desperate, neediness building between the both of them as Luke’s hands slid down (Y/n)’s body desperately.

As he pulled her closer to his body, (Y/n)’s fingers slid from his cheeks to his hair, tugging on it as he bit her bottom lip.

She moaned softly as he pulled it with his teeth, Luke grunting in satisfaction at the sound he elicited from her. His hands found a home on her hips, squeezing firmly as he began to roll his hips against hers.

She bucked her hips upwards, desperate for the friction as she could feel the arousal growing between her legs.

Luke jolted as her hips rolled in sync with his and he pulled away. He stared down at her with cheeks flushed, his eyes flickering over her figure as he took in her state.

“So beautiful..” He breathed out and ran his thumb along her bottom lip, wiping away the spit that had found it’s away out of her mouth.

(Y/n) stared up at him with wide eyes, her hips still pressed into his. “L-Luke..” She stuttered out bashfully, her hand reaching up to grip his wrist.

Luke bit his lip before sliding down to his knees in front of the bed. He hooked his arms under her legs and dragged her closer, his breath hot on her clothed core.

“Is this… okay?” He hesitated as his hand ghosted over the waistband of her shorts.

(Y/n) quickly sits up on her elbows, watching Luke stare up at her with cherry red cheeks. “You want to eat me out?” She chewed on the inside of her cheek, trying not to whimper as Luke’s breathy laugh hit her where she was desperate.

“Fuck yes.” He grinned up at her, his thumb rubbing comforting circles on her hip. “Can I? Please?”

(Y/n) shakily nodded at him, her brain moving too fast to form words.

“I need verbal consent, sweetheart.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to the inside of her thigh.

She gulped as she felt his plush lips meet her thigh, the burning between her thighs growing unbearable.

“Please..”

Luke wasted no time as he started to fumble with the button of her shorts, cursing quietly as he missed the hole on account of his fingers quivering in anticipation.

After a moment of frustration, he finally got them unbuttoned and tugged her shorts and underwear off in one swift motion.

He bit his lip as he stared at her wetness, feeling himself grow hard just by staring at it.

He glanced up at (Y/n) as he dragged his finger up and down, collecting her arousal on his finger. She whimpered and pushed her hips forward, needing more of it.

Luke licked his lips as he stared down at his fingers, his free hand reaching down to palm himself through his cargo pants.

He didn’t think before he pushed his fingers into his mouth, licking them clean of her juices with a low groan. “Fuck, (Y/n)…” He removed his fingers from his mouth with a ‘pop.’

Luke didn’t give her time to react before he had his face buried in between her thighs. She let out a strangled gasp as she felt his tongue make an experimental lick at her clit. Her hand immediately found a place in Luke’s curls as she tried to ground herself.

Her boyfriend took her reaction as encouragement and used his free hand to tease her entrance.

Now, (Y/n) had always known Luke was skilled with his hands. The way he effortlessly swung his sword with his long fingers had led to many late night fantasies, but gods! This man was insane with his mouth.

Luke made eye contact with her as she started to squirm under his touch, reaching up to hold her hips down as he continued to fuck her with his tongue.

“Luke—” He voice came out choppy as she gripped onto his hair, unintentionally pulling him closer. Luke moaned as she felt him tug on his curls, the vibration from the sound sending shockwaves through her body.

Luke clenched his eyes shut as he continued to desperately eat her out. Now that he had gotten a taste, he was addicted.

She tasted so good, he was sure the next time he drank ambrosia it would taste like her.

And seeing the way she reacted when he made her feel good was enough to make him grind his hips into the bed.

“So good for me..” He breathed out as he pulled away to catch his breath, saliva running down his chin.

He didn’t even care that he could feel his precum soaking through the front of his pants, all that mattered right now what the masterpiece in front of him.

(Y/n) had her hands in his hair, her back arched as she spread her legs to allow full access to Luke. He sucked on her clit, working hard to please his girlfriend.

He could feel her jerk the longer he sucked, and he knew that she was close.

“Babe, I think ‘m gonna—” She panted as she pushed his head further into her. “Gonna cum.”

Luke hummed in acknowledgment as he worked even faster, desperate to help his girl reach her climax. (Y/n) let out one more strangled moan before she came, deflating onto the mattress as she felt Luke pull away.

The mattress bounced under her as Luke crawled back onto his bed, wrapping her up in his arms.

“Was that good for you?” He asked as he stared down at her with soft eyes.

(Y/n) snorted. “You’re so stupid sometimes.” She mocked his words from earlier, but still gave his jaw a quick kiss.

“Yeah, but I’m your stupid.”

[rhiannonsknife]

You mention vibrator play with (I think coworker!)rhiannon and oh my christ I'm such a sucker for that sort of thing- could we get an expansion on that please?? Tysm!! As per usual your writing continues to be phenomenally incredible please know that you're doing (sapphic) god's work ❤️❤️

-🔆

thank you so much!! <3 nsfw content below. mdni.

now to vibrator play with (coworker!) rhiannon! there are so many different ways that this could go so let me elaborate…

coworker!rhiannon who’s also your girlfriend and who loves to watch you struggle from across the room...in the morning, while you're getting ready for work together, she’ll bring the idea up to you: you’re zipping up your pants when she wraps her arms around you from behind. rhiannon’s lips press against the back of your neck playfully but that’s not what catches your attention: what does is the cold feeling of something pressing against your bare stomach. before you can ask what it is, she already turned on the little bullet vibrator. “what do you think?” rhiannon murmurs against your skin from behind as she runs it up your body, letting you feel the vibrations on the lowest setting. she doesn’t have to explain herself; she’s brought the idea up enough times for you to understand what she’s planning.

coworker!rhiannon who stuffs it into your underwear once you’ve given her your consent and have come up with a safe word/signal in case she ever pushes you a bit too far. coworker!rhiannon who starts off tame enough. who, at first, only switches it on from her desk when you expect it: while holding eye contact beforehand or even as she’s standing right next to you. “how’s work going?” she’ll ask, and put a hand on your shoulder. yet when you’re about to answer, she flips a switch on the remote in her pocket, and allthe words you were about to say morph into a surprised gasp as you press your thighs together.

coworker!rhiannon who gets the hang of it after a while. once she’s figured out the different settings and how you react to them (which one makes you squirm the hardest in your chair or has you glancing in her direction desperately), there’s no stopping her: she’ll put on the lowest vibration during the entirety of a conference -not enough to make you cum. or she’ll turn it up suddenly when you’re least expecting it; when you're about to get up for your break, forcing you to sit back down suddenly. she’ll watch you as you get closer and closer on the highest setting, white knuckle gripping the edge of your table, then turn it off at the last second...

coworker!rhiannon who catches you trying to sneak into the bathroom to get off while she’s refilling her coffee. who walks in on you attempting to touch yourself in there. who takes the vibe from you and presses it against your clit on the highest possible setting and keeps it there through multiple orgasms, until you’re shaking from overstimulation and need to hold onto her for support, biting down on your hand/her shoulder so that you won’t scream through the entire office floor.

but also…

rhiannon who ties you up on her bed (or the garage if she’s in a bit of a role-play mood…) and holds the vibrator against you until you’re a babbling mess, begging her to take it off or turn it down. if you really wanted her to stop, one use of the safe word would be enough. yet, you don’t. you want to be at her mercy, you want rhiannon to have her way with you until she decides that it’s enough.

or, alternatively: rhiannon who ties the vibe against your thigh and then leaves you there, with the toy buzzing weakly against your clit. she’ll go down into the living room to do whatever chore still needs to be done, or she will go out on one of her killing sprees. like this, she has something to look forward to when she stumbles back inside a long while later: covered in blood, she enters the house, instantly greeted by the sound of your desperate whines echoing from the bedroom…

[bigbangclappin]

Baby Daddy Gangster 3

Summary: Ding Dong! Your baby daddy is back and wants in your life and your daughter’s. And with that smile you might as well shove the door wide open.

Paring: Nakamoto YutaXReader(1st Person POV!)

Warnings: Cursing! Baby Daddy themes, mentions of smut, toxic relationships, Mafia/Yakuza themes (It’s not glamorous in real life folks!) 

Word Count: 4.9K

A/N: it's finally here!! Part 3. I hope you all enjoy it! I may do a part 4 based on the response here to part 3!

Tag List: @nonbinarykais-world @angelictypo @stolasisyourparent @ch3rrych3s @marvelahsobx @crazyllamasurfer @sunooluver @ayowhatthefuck563  @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @miinghaosstuff @veryhao @johnbanana

Part 2

“Ms (L/N)?” A sweet but masculine voice called.

Mark was jogging toward me and I felt myself pale in worry, please God tell me my Yuki was alright and that she wasn’t hurt. 

“Yes?” I replied when he reached me on the sidewalk, “What is it? Is Yuki alright?”

“Geez,” He ran a hand through his hair seemingly embarrassed,  “yeah I should have led with that Yuki is just fine! I’m sorry I just had something to ask you if you had a moment?”

I couldn’t help but feel relieved at the thought that my daughter was okay. Lately I was a hop, skip and a jump away from the edge due to her father’s sudden need to be a thorn in my side. I feared he’d try to power play me and kidnap Yuki or something only Yuta would do. 

While it may sound irrational to the regular people passing me by on the street, the fellow mothers, wives, and girlfriends of the underworld know just how true that fear really was. 

Look the wrong way, say the wrong thing, your child could disappear in front of your very eyes. 

In the back of my mind I knew that Yuta wasn’t the same man his father was; thank god. It meant my child wouldn’t be a sadistic means to an end. Thank goodness he took after his Grandfather. 

While his Grandfather ruled with an iron fist where necessary, he knew how to be a real family man to his loved ones. He showered affection and wisdom over Yuta and luckily it took precedence over his father’s harsher borderline neglectful upbringing. 

In the darkest recesses of my mind I knew Yuta wouldn’t use Yuki as a tool to get back at me. It wasn’t who he was; his father though his father was still on the throne then we were in big trouble.

“Ms. (Y/n)?” Mark waved a hand in front of my face with a chuckle, “Are you alright?”

“Hm? Oh yeah I’m fine just a lot of papers to grade and please call me (Y/n)” I waved him off, “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

The man’s brows furrowed and he chewed his bottom lip before speaking trepidatiously, “There was a man here last week during outside play that approached Yuki…don’t be alarmed she was okay. I got there as soon as I saw what was going on. I asked who he was and what he wanted with Yuki and he was super hostile. Like a territorial tiger or something, I thought he was going to knock me out just for picking Yuki up. He did show me a birth certificate claiming he’s Yuki’s father…” He ran his hand through his hair pausing for a breath, “Ms–I mean (Y/n) I know you said Yuki doesn’t have another parent and we will honor that but that man was Nakamoto Yuta, the Nakamoto Yuta the heir– no scratch that the leader of the largest Yakuza family in–”

I snapped before I had the chance to catch myself, “I know who he is!”

I mumbled a sorry as I ran my hands over my face in order to get it together, “That bastard haunts my every waking moment on this godforsaken earth, is what I meant to say. I guess for safety’s sake I should let you know that he is Yuki’s long-lost bio dad who has for some reason or another decided to pop up and become a pain in my ass. Yuki is not to be released to him without my consent. I have sole custody of her and he is not to be anywhere near her during school. He distracts her and is also a child himself.  I understand Yuta and his men can be intimidating, please tell me right away if he causes you any trouble I will take care of it. I know he will give you a hard time, just let him know I told you to tell him ‘Ear’ that’s all you need to say. It’s like tiger repellent.”

“Just the word ear?” Mark asked confused, “You don’t think he’ll threaten the other kids do you?”

“Yep if he has any sense to him he’ll remember what that means and not to push me or others in order to push me,” I shook my head for the other question, “Yuta wouldn’t hurt the other kids. He has some decency to him. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner it slipped my mind with everything going on, if it’s really too much trouble please let me know.”

“It’s no trouble at all I just wanted to be on the same page in case we needed a safety plan for Yuki and yourself.” 

I put a hand on Mark’s shoulder with a laugh, “A safety plan won’t keep Yuta away trust me if that were the case I would have deployed one by now. Just call me if he tries anything stupid.” 

“Will do (Y/n).”

As I walked to work that morning I had an inkling that the bastard was going to be poking his head around soon enough. He had been way too quiet the past week. He couldn’t go without trouble for more than twenty-four hours let alone seven days.

***

“So who can tell me the difference between a metaphor and a simile?” 

I smiled at all of the eager faces with their hands raised ready to answer my question, “Go ahead Binna–”

A knock interrupted my student and I noticed the school secretary disheveled looking as if she were clutching her pearls. “Ms (L/N)? Can you come with me for a moment? It's important.”

I eyed the lady up trying to figure out what it was that made her jog up to the second floor as if her ass was on fire when she couldn’t even be bothered to roll to the otherside of reception half the time. 

“Hana please read the first paragraph and then pick someone to read after you're done and be fair please. No auctioning off snacks for reading rights.” 

I was hardly able to ask what was going on when the secretary offered to watch my kids for me while I handled my ‘husband.’ 

“Handle who’s husband?” I asked confused, “Aren’t you in charge of building security?”

“Your husband is demanding to see you!” She shooed me away down the hallway.

First off how dare she make rude ass gestures like that toward me but second, I was never married and never will be. “I’m not married, you probably mixed me up with on of the other teachers I have to get back to class–”

The secretary grabbed my arm and whispered, “The Nakamoto Yuta is downstairs in the headmaster’s office waiting for you. The headmaster vacated his office for you to have a place to talk. I am not mistaken.”

I just gave a ‘tch’ and made my way toward the administrative office. This man didn’t know the meaning of conspicuous if it punched him in the face. Like I wanted to right now. Boundaries were a big thing when we were together because if I didn’t have any Yuta would’ve steam rolled me into a rice cake. Apparently in our time apart he forgot that work was a no interruption zone. He was part gangster and part Chihuahua. Cute ,loyal, with an adorable face on one hand and on the other a yappy, loud bark with territorial issues over their favorite person.  

As soon as I landed on the bottom floor I saw two of Yuta’s normal security posted outside of the office. When they saw me they bowed and I rolled my eyes at the memories of being called sister-in-law. I’m clearly regarded in the same manner as they held back a male coworker of mine just trying to walk out of the door before me. 

Although he was rude it was still embarrassing to have two large men make a scene over something so small. 

“Johnny,” I sighed at my husband’s right hand who sat just outside of the headmaster’s office in the ‘naughty’ chair, “Long time no see.” 

The man stood up with open arms and a cheeky grin and I couldn’t help myself, “Fine.”

He locked me in a giant bear hug and then tugged on my ponytail, “How’ve you been?”

“Not bad all things considered,” I pat him on the back with a grin, “How are things for you?”

“Things have been interesting.” He laughed and nodded over toward the closed office, “Go on lover boy is all twisted up in there.”

I rolled my eyes, “Maybe if I smack him it’ll right him out.”

“Good luck with that!” Johnny called leaving the small reception area entirely to stand outside with the other men, closing that door behind him too.

Here we go. Again.

I pushed the door open, “Nakamoto Yuta I am working this better be important.”

“Trust me it’s important baby,” He mumbled from his position on top of the desk. Dark hair, shaggy and unkempt, he had run his fingers through it and put some behind his ears. His all black suit covered all of his telling tattoos aside from the large neck piece peeking over his dress shirt collar. 

Worst one of them all might as well have been winking at me. I wish he’d get it covered up or lasered. I didn’t want to constantly see my initials on his left ring finger like we were still together, common-law or not. 

“It should be detrimental if you kicked my boss out of his office just because you felt like it.”

“You look beautiful,” Yuta gave me a smile and went for my hand. I dodged him just in time, “Still smell like peaches and cream too.”

I quirked an eyebrow, “What are you up to?”

“I can’t compliment my woman?” he asked with a little smirk that made my heart race.

“Does she know you are giving other women compliments?” I quipped, taking a whole step back, it felt like he was stalking me around the room like a jungle cat who hadn’t eaten in god knows how long. I’ve been his mouse before I know all of the signs it’s not happening again.

“As if there would ever be anyone else,” he rolled his eyes at me and nearly succeeded in backing me into the corner, if it weren’t for my swift footing. 

“Why are you here right now Yuta? Please, I have to get back to my class.”

“I went to visit Yuki at school today because I presumed you let Mark know that Yuki is in fact my daughter too. As in yours and mine. Did you know he had the balls to tell me that I couldn’t see my daughter?  He told me that he was instructed to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to see her, and that she wasn’t to leave the grounds without your permission–”

“Because she is learning–”

“Because you don’t want me to see her without you,” he snapped back. He ruffled his luscious hair before taking his seat back on the desk, arms crossed like a petulant child. “He said ear.”

I couldn’t hold back my laugh and it all made sense now as to why this couldn’t wait, “You pulled me away from class because you were embarrassed?” 

“I was not embarrassed! I was appalled that you told him about it! A complete stranger!”

I covered my mouth to muffle my laughter, “Yuta I knew you would try to go behind my back because you can’t help yourself. If you had just stuck to the schedule I made for Yuki’s visits with you…”

“I would babe but sometimes our schedules don’t line up. Which is why I try to see her when I can.”

“Try another time when she isn’t at school.Without being sneaky about it too.”

“Who’s being sneaky?” he asked me with a roll of his eyes, “You knew I was trying to take her for lunch. I don’t have a regular nine to five job (Y/n) you know I don’t do the same shit everyday at the same time.”

“So your solution is to be selfish and disrupt her routine?” I asked annoyed, “Pull her out of class because Daddy has to go back to Osaka to oversee the factory? How is that fair to her?”

“Life isn’t always fair baby you and I both know that–”

“Yeah but that isn't an illusion I’m willing to destroy when she’s three Yuta! I mean come on–”

“So what?” He asked his arm flailing out in question his face heating with anger, “Fuck me then? I don’t get to see my little girl for two weeks because you want to keep her in a class where all she does is play with blocks?”

“You’re really starting to piss me off,” I managed to get out through gritted teeth, “These are the consequences of your own actions. I’m not going around in circles with you over your reasons again. Fact of the matter is I built this routine for her without you. Her world can’t suddenly revolve around your busy schedule, that’s what being a parent is all about. Yuki comes first, everything else is second. We sacrifice niceties and our time for her. I gave you options to work with if you want to see her. You can’t impose your will on our daughter.”

I could see his tongue poke the inside of his cheek out of anger and frustration, “It sounds like I can’t impose my will on you–”

“You’ve never been able to, a tradition I’m handing down to Yuki.”

“(Y/n) stop,” Yuta snapped slamming his open palms against the desk, “I’ve done everything right by you and by Yuki! I’m tired of this back and forth. She's my daughter too and if I want to take her out to lunch then I will!”

“No one said you couldn’t take her to lunch!” I snapped in return my blood boiling, “Just that you are going to respect her schedule. She’s the kid, it's not on her to follow your schedule! Kid’s her age need a routine that’s all it comes down to! I didn’t choose your line of work for you, and neither did she!”

“You can’t tell me that when you found out you were pregnant you didn’t factor in how I lived, how I had to make time for you, which I did, how sometimes our time was cut short, and in some way that would boil over in to how it would be when Yuki was born! You’ve always known how it is we’ve been together for ten years!”

I put a hand to my face in exasperation “Alright let me uno reverse you; You can’t tell me that when you left Yuki and I at the hospital that you expected me to know you were going to come back at some point in time and just become wonder dad. I didn’t even know you left one of the nurses told me you bolted!”

“Jesus, I expected you to use your context clues. I went to every appointment with you, every ultrasound.I helped pick out her name! How does that sound like I didn’t want to be in her life?”

“What?” I spat ready to yank at my hair, “Maybe because you said I’m not ready to be a father I’ll pay for you to have it taken care of?”

“Fuck!” He kicked the desk corner so hard it jumped back from the force. “I was scared of losing you! My enemies were closing in on the family and you were the prime target! They needed to believe that you meant nothing to me! Especially since you were pregnant! It’s the biggest target in my world! Kidnap and kill the leader’s woman. I couldn’t risk that happening to you or to our child! I panicked and I made a mistake! I want Yuki; I want you! I did what I thought I had to at the time to protect you both from harm. There isn't a day that goes by where I don’t think of our Yuki and you. She’s the apple of my eye but you’re my entire world (Y/n)--”

“Yuta–”

“No I already know what you’re going to say and I’ve held my tongue long enough,” he snapped rising up from the desk, “I love you! I always have and I always will–” 

“You, you, you! It’s always about you!” I screamed angrily, “Maybe if you had taken a goddamn moment to talk to me about whatever danger was encroaching, things could’ve been different! We may not even be here in this position if you thought about me and Yuki. Instead you kept us out; You’re angry at me for something you broke Yuta. How can I trust you to tell me the truth when it counts? I love you too, clearly I had your fucking kid but none of that matters if I can’t trust you to tell me anything. You lied to keep us safe sure, but you damaged the already fragile relationship we have instead of just talking to me.”

Yuta ran a large hand through his hair again but he wasn’t quick enough to hide his smirk, “You still love me? 

I stayed silent for a moment, chewing on my cheek, “Possibly.”

He chuckled deep, “Nuh uh baby, that’s not how that works.”

I cursed myself for my slip up as I glared at the man who will always be first and foremost a pain in my ass. “Ear Yuta.”

Red flushed his cheeks in embarrassment almost instantly, “Just because emotions haven’t always been your thing baby doesn’t mean you can try and deflect by kink shaming me.”

“I’m not embarrassed that you need your ears stimulated to cum.”

“What did she just say?” I heard Johnny ask from outside the office. The door popped open quickly, “Wait boss is that true?”

“Out Johnny,” Yuta pointed back at the exit at the same time I answered ‘Yes’.

“What the fuck (Y/N)?” he snapped at me, “If you value your life you will never repeat this to anyone…”

Johnny lifted both hands up in a defensive gesture, “Not my story to tell man.”

“Great, now get out and tell everyone they will lose their tongues if they talk!...and walk at least a few rooms down,” He ordered clearly out of sorts. 

Someone was most definitely embarrassed by his own needs. I tried to swallow my chuckle but I let it out anyway finding it too hard to contain. If looks could kill, yikes, this man’s icy stare would’ve caused me to drop dead right then and there. Maybe I went too far this time. 

Putting him in a position of shame in front of his men wasn’t the best idea. Other women in my shoes have been dealt with for less. Not that it justified his behavior. I just knew how things worked amongst the men in this organization and while Yuta had really pushed the envelope as far as progress for women goes, there were some things even he couldn’t let go.

Not with his men overhearing. He had to uphold his honor and reputation now. Unless he wanted to lose face in front of his subordinates, and in this world any sign of weakness will get you dethroned faster than a snap of your fingers.

The tapping of my ex’s fingers against the hard oak of the desk snapped me out of my thoughts and back to the present danger I was in. 

I thought for a moment that he may actually hurt me and that I royally fucked up. 

“You know how easy it is in my position to make things happen (Y/n) I could have marched right into that little nursery school and taken our daughter if I wanted to. I still could, nothing nor anyone could stop me, including you. We both know that, but you know why I haven’t done that?”

I could fathom a few guesses but with him leveraging his power over me, I thought it best to stay quiet and only shake my head in response. I didn’t want him to make good on his threat. He wasn’t wrong that he and Yuki could up and leave without a trace and no hope of me finding her. 

My pride hurt that I wasn’t able to bite back at his arrogance; I startled when he placed his large palm against my cheek. I attempted to squirm out from underneath him but the gentleness behind the touch turned to harsh control as he gripped my chin in his hand so I had no other choice but to look at him.

“I respect you.” He stated solemnly his hold tightened more, “I respect that you’re the mother of my child, unlike you who treats me as if I’m a fucking joke…”

I tapped him on the back of hand, “You’re hurting me Yuta.”

He let out a tch and backed off slightly, “I didn’t expect the warmest of welcomes baby, but I didn’t anticipate the depth of your animosity toward me, rather to the picture of me I had to paint.”

I searched through his dark eyes not exactly sure as to what I was actually looking for, what I did find was sincerity. “Your lie was convincing. The first few months after you left were terrible. I was running on Redbull and a prayer. Yuki wasn’t really fussy so there wasn’t much to distract me from thinking of you. It doesn’t help that she has your eyes and smile. Every Time she let out a little giggle I thought of you and my heart broke all over again. I learned to cope with the idea of being a single mom and doing it all on my own, it took me a while but I finally got there. Then you show up on my doorstep like you didn’t stomp all over my heart and everything was fine…so yeah it’s a little hard to believe otherwise.”

“Let me have the chance to show you how sorry I am for having to walk away from you when you needed me most.” 

He took my hand in his, he intertwined our fingers together and kissed my knuckles gently. His big eyes bore into mine and I had to admit he still knew how to get me to bend. I could never resist when he was being charming and sweet.

“It’s going to take a lot more than a handsome smile, Yuta.” I chided him but found myself unable to pull my hand away from his. 

It’s not that I didn’t want to give him a chance, I really wanted to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall and land wherever they may but I had Yuki to be concerned for. He needed to prove he wanted to be in her life as her other parent. Which meant less focus on himself and more on our daughter’s needs.

“I don’t expect you to marry me tomorrow,” he said with such nonchalance, “Maybe in a year.”

I scoffed in disbelief, “Maybe never if you don’t start asking for my consent. I can’t believe you, I give you an inch and you took the whole god damn yard stick!”

“Baby you know I’m the only one for you…” he moved in like he was going to kiss me.

“How would I know that?” I pressed my palm to his invading lips, “I’ve only ever been with you.and like one and a half other men.”

 This man easily gives me whiplash one moment he’s being cute laying the overconfidence down thick, and the next his eyes are nearly black and I swear at the mention of other men he was hulking out due to his horrible possessive streak.

“What the hell does that even mean?” He growled, “Who are they?”

“I’m not stupid baby. I remember what happened when a poor unsuspecting sophomore tried to flirt with me,” I cringed at the awful bloody memory, “You nearly killed him.”

Yuta rolled his eyes, “Anyone who didn’t know you were my girl were either blind, gay, or didn’t care that we were together. That bastard was the latter. He got what he had coming to him just like you did when I fucked you in the guys showers afterward.”

I gasped in shock, “I’m at work Christ Yuta what if my boss heard you?”

He shrugged his shoulders with that irritating smirk of his, “Oops slip of the tongue.”

I ran a hand through my hair and put some much needed distance between him and I. “I’ve got to get back to class.”

Just as I pushed the handle down he grabbed my hand, “Oh no you don’t you have two very important names to disclose before I go on a fucking witch hunt. Was it that smug fucker Mark?”

“Nakamoto Yuta,” I sighed angrily while trying to twist my wrist from his grip, “How many times do I have to tell you that there is nothing going on between me and Mark?”

“As many times as it takes unless you willingly give up those two names…”

I swear to God if I could’ve slapped him I would have, I was past my breaking point. My blood was boiling hot, something only he managed to achieve. I’m entirely sure I’ve disclosed those two individuals to him before in the first place. I don’t know why he was being so dramatic.

“You weren’t the one who popped my cherry Yuta, you know that so there’s one…”

He nodded his head but then glared at me expectantly, “And the last one?”

“Seriously he was barely anything but second base–”

I heard his sharp intake of breath, “One base too many for my liking (Y/n), name now.”

“I don’t even remember his name. I was drunk at a party right after we broke up for the first time, I couldn’t even tell you what he looked like to be honest with you.”

“That’s classy babe, just hook up with anyone,” he snarled and aggressively ran his hands through his hair. 

“We weren’t together!” I scoffed, “It’s not like I slept with him, not to mention that this happened years ago! I haven’t been with anyone but you ever since. Including up to now. Your jealousy will be your downfall Yuta. ”

“Loving you is my downfall?” he asked with a sardonic brow raised.

I did not have the strength nor the patience left to have this fight with him again. I’ve tried one too many times to talk to him about this. I wasn’t going to beat my head against the wall again when I had a class of preteens waiting for me. 

“Are we done here?” I asked him, crossing my arms over my chest, “I really need to get back to my class.”

Yuta did that thing with his tongue and nodded his head, “We’re done for now. I’m taking our daughter for lunch and when I come back from Osaka you and I are going to dinner to finish this conversation.”

“Whatever,” I called over my shoulder. 

As I passed Johnny in the hallway I gave him another hug and apologized for putting him in the middle of another one of our notorious arguments. Poor guy probably felt like our third since he knew everything that happened in our relationship. He assured me that it was okay but I still felt awful.

As I walked back to my classroom I had this nagging feeling that Yuta may be a lot harder to put off then I initially thought. I was going to have to try harder and smarter if I wanted to get around Yuta’s constant watch.

I couldn’t have that threat of Yuki being taken from me hanging over my head. I had a lot of planning to do. With Yuta away for some time, I had the perfect opportunity to strike.

[klttn]

when I see someone asking for vox requests, I immediately sense it. what abr vox w a reader that's owned by him (smth like angel/valentino or husk/alastor) you can have fun and make it as smutty/fluffy as you want, ty!!

⁺˳✧༚ ˚ 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓉𝓎 𝓅𝓊𝓅 ｡⋆୨୧˚

— 𝜗𝜚 vox x f!reader

ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 summary : you sold your soul to vox only for him to treat you like the good little puppy you are. nsfw. toxic relationship. ownership. collars. leashes. reader is mute when she’s subby. vox is a smidge manipulative. dubious consent at times. vox is also a softie.

𝜗𝜚 vox knew from the moment he saw you, he had to have you. such a pretty little thing, how could he not? it’s safe to say sinners like you were desired in hell. you looked like pure innocence and sin wrapped into one. a cute fawn puppy with wide eyes and soft thighs.

𝜗𝜚 he found you by chance, crying, after his dick of a situationship had abandoned you for someone new. someone who would give up everything to him, including their soul. you wouldn’t even fuck him. part of you thinks that’s the only reason he kept you around. to try and earn the rights to your cunt. vox’s manipulation was much sweeter than that.

“hey little puppy,” vox had mused, voice thick as honey, “no need to be scared, i won’t hurt you.” he seemed so trusting, so gentle.

you’d only seen him with val on set or occasionally on ads so seeing him like this was entirely different to the picture you’d painted of him. so that’s when you decided to take a risk, “promise?”

𝜗𝜚 all you’d known with val was emotional mind games and verbal abuse for not submitting but with vox? he seemed to care so much more than that. he was so loving and sweet, treat you like an angel. loved you.

𝜗𝜚 that’s all you wanted, it was so easy. so you gave him everything. your mind. your body. your soul. just like he wanted.

“you’re mine right, puppy?” vox questioned hands stroking over your soft fluffy ears as you nodded in response. “so let me own you. give me your soul. you’ll be only mine and i’ll protect you forever.” his harsh words laced with something so sickeningly promising to your naive brain.

how could you say no?

𝜗𝜚 after that, vox never held back, you couldn’t leave him after all. he had you collared 24/7. using the leash that bound you to him to tease you and drag you where he pleased. he was still so attractively enticing. that would never change. his cunningness wrapped up in a pretty bow so well that you didn’t care he was manipulating you.

𝜗𝜚 he’d use you to make val jealous sometimes too, having you draped over him as his arm candy. have you dress so scantily. take you to all his events to show you off, show them what they couldn’t have. and more importantly who you belonged to.

“who’s this pretty girl by your side?” a reporter would ask, eager to put a name to vox’s ’girlfriend’.

“oh? her? she’s just my puppy,” would be his answer. so simple yet you loved something about it. a slight pat on your head and a soft “good girl,” to leave the viewers with the thoughts of your wide eyes and soft mouth as you bit your lip at the praise.

𝜗𝜚 it wasn’t only manipulation to him despite it getting you this far. he did love you. everything about you, like he was the love sick puppy here. your hair, your eyes. the way your soft ears would react to things. how easily excitable you were. the way you would cuddle up to him after work like a doggy would it’s owner. but i suppose that’s exactly what you were. just a simple little pup with her doting owner.

“where’s my baby girl?” he’d shout through the halls of his home as you’d come running to the door, so much excitement rushing through you. you’d think he’d been gone for days not merely a few hours.

“i missed you,” would always be the first thing you’d say. “now never leave me again.”

𝜗𝜚 eventually you let him have you. let him fuck you. the fact he waited despite owning you only spurred you on more to let him ravish you. he was loving and gentle at first, so vanilla and constant i love yous, earning the right for more than that. even though he didn’t have to. so when it came down to it, you’d coyly asked him to take care of his baby in heat too. giving him full control of your sex. every aspect of it.

𝜗𝜚 the first time you allowed yourself to drop into that subby state of mind, vox couldn’t quite believe what he was witnessing. how was it possible for someone already so innocent and pliable to become more so? he adored the way your doe eyes would gloss over as you looked up at him through battered lashes with full submission.

𝜗𝜚 he loved everything about ruining you. how he could tell by the way your thighs would flush exactly what you needed. how you would stick your tongue out and pant on your knees for him when you wanted to suck him off. but what he loved the most about this was how you would go mute. he revelled in how you couldnt say no or stop him. your ditsy brain too full so all you could do is whimper n whine and mewl such pretty noises.

a tug on your leash pulled your malleable body closer into him. his cock abusing your cunt to the point of tears, “just a bit longer pup, please” he'd groan, out of breath, wiping your tears and gripping you harder, pumping into you til it had you yelping and trying to pull him off of you. he wouldn’t let you. vice grip overpowering you and forcing on to say on his cock. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, fuck, baby i’m sorry, i’m so close, i know it hurts, shit, i’m gonna cum.”

he’d pull out and hold you tighter than ever, littering your face in kisses, telling you you’re such a good girl, such a good puppy for letting him use you. how proud he is you milked his cum. of course that’s all your silly head needed to hear.

𝜗𝜚 vox always gave aftercare. always. running your baths, getting you your favourite snacks, taking care of you, not dare letting you lift a finger after the harsh activities he’d assault on your body. when you’d settled down enough, he’d hold you, letting you watch your favourite shows on his screen. that was something he loved to do for you. so much.

𝜗𝜚 he was just as clingy as you sometimes. needing you close and on him, always by his side. whining and mumbling how you don’t love him if he doesn’t have your eyes and attention on him. he always made you giggle with that. so when one night you were cuddled up watching tv, he came up with the idea.

“puppyyyyyy,” vox grumbled, watching how your ears would twitch in acknowledgement, “look at me!!” he was tugging at your pyjamas and pulling on your collar, needy in such a demanding and assertive way.

“wanna watch this, voxie, already so close n got my head on your chest.”

wrong answer. he didn’t like that.

vox sighed and clicked his tongue, turning off the screen and wordlessly forcing you to straddle his lap. “my puppy should do as she’s told,” your breath hitched at his words as his screen glitched and the show you were watching flashed across where vox’s face should be. “even if that means i have to make her.”

your cheeks blushed as you got comfy to his thighs. vox’s hands raked across your body, zoning out again. trying not to get too embarrassed and show how much you liked this. loving how vox needed you this badly. “so much better, right baby?”. you nodded your head before one of vox’s fingers crept to part your lips and let your oral fixation take over, sucking and lapping.

𝜗𝜚 overall you were the happiest you’d ever been, no matter how toxic it may be, and so was vox. it all went according to his plan that day when he decided he had to have you. you were now his. owned and controlled. loved and cherished. his puppy.

A/N : i just love vox okay!! i would sell my soul to him for free just to get to submit to him <3 anyways… i hope you liked this and as always please please give me support!! tell me your thoughts, they’re always welcome

[kawaiipony-productions]

IMPORTANT: My Situation and GoFundMe

Hola y hello, to those who don't know who I am. I'm Itzel aka Kawaiipony Productions. I'm a 17 y/o (mostly Mlp) YouTuber. I'm non-binary asexual biromantic (he/she/they) and I'm also an AuDHDer. And well, I need help. I live in an emotionally abusive household and my own “father” is my abuser. And while my mom isn’t as bad and my relationship with her has gotten better in recent years, she has still caused harm even by letting a lot of this slide.

Around February 18th, 2022, my parents snooped on my phone and found out I was trans. They had taken my phone, tablet, and Nintendo Switch. Which I wouldn’t mind too much if I didn’t purchase majority of these. I bought my tablet myself sometime around 2018 to 2019 with my own money. And I split half and half with one of my sisters to buy our Switch. That is hundreds not only stolen, but also destroyed as they’ve broken my tablet (which was around $300-350 when I bought it) previous instances it’s been taken from me. And I have not received any of these devices since.

Not only that, but my abuser in the past few years of me dealing with this abusive relationship has threatened multiple things on me such as kicking me out of the house, sending me to the military without my consent, and sending me to my family in México to “straighten me out.” Not to mention his constant ableism towards me. From being anti-vax (a very ableist rhetoric towards autistics), forcing me to mask (in the neurodivergent way, not literally, he’s ironically anti-max (which is also horrible btw)), etc.

This has led to me secretly doing my job as a part-time YouTuber for the past 2 years now, especially since I was forced to delete the previous Kawaiipony Productions channel cause of him. I have a GFM to help fund me for being able to get proper equipment again for doing my work. Not only that, but also possibly for things I plan to get once I turn 18 such as starting to get therapy, medication for my ADHD, etc. And now that I started dating my girlfriend, Vikki, I want to start saving some of this money to possibly meet her irl sometime next year.

I am taking a few small paid jobs for work right now, but it’s still not enough for my situation. So, you may ask, how can I help? Well, if you have the money, donate to my GFM. My GFM goal is $2,000 and I still need around $1,200 for reaching my goal. I also have adoptables for sale right now for $25 each. If you can’t financially help, then you can share not only my GFM, but my work. From my artwork, my videos on YouTube, and projects I’ve been a part of as a voice actor, animator, and/or artist. Any of this helps support me through everything going on in my life. I could really use it right now. So any and all support helps me out. Thank you all for reading this thread, I appreciate any and all support I need!!!

-Itzel C.D. aka Kawaiipony Productions

Ways to support me!!!

My YouTube channel:

My GoFundMe:

Current Adoptables for Sale:

[v3nusxsky]

hey! could I request a nsfw work for Emily prentiss / nb! reader (afab)

im really bad at requesting stuff so I’m just gonna make a list I hope that’s okay!!

After a really tough case you just need Emily to take all control and fuck you senselessly and she agrees but also she is concerned about you and makes sure you’re okay

dom Emily and sub reader (bdsm vibes) Emily is hard dom but also really soft and caring, she instantly switches from “using” the reader’s body and degrading them to showering them with kisses and compliments

safe word use (love me some good communication!)

overstimulation kink / multiple orgasms!

mommy kink

praise kink

no strap on stuff please!

aftercare (fluff :)

thank uuu <3

Mommy has you baby 18+

*Authors note~ felt like our em deserved a bit of love too Yano? Yea I'm writing fics instead of uni just to cope and then finishing it off on the train 😭*

Trigger warnings~ mommy kink praise kink degrading sub r dom Emily safe word use aftercare thigh riding eating out fingering tribbing overstim

Prompt~see aak^^^

This case was a rough one for you, it's not uncommon that a case would get an agent a little more than normal, especially when it held a personal tie to their lives or past. For you, it was poor girls who'd lost their lives just for being who they were. And by a "friend" none the less was heartbreaking. Reminding you of the time where you were almost one of those girls but thankfully you had been taught to defend yourself at your FBI academy.

The blank stare you held the entire plane ride told Emily one thing. You needed her. You needed to feel, to be pulled from the memories of the past to the present. And luckily, Emily knew just what she needed to do for you. Unfortunately , this wasn't either of your first rodeos for needing this sort of help and support. And you'd develop a code to show consent. So it was to no surprise that when Emily asked you if you wanted to "reset" that you nodded silently and made your way to the car.

After your silent drive with your girlfriend you immediately got out of the car and made your way inside to your bedroom. Emily knowing you needed space pottered around shutting the house up and preparing for what was to come. When she made her way to the room you were stripped bare, much like your emotions, on your knees for her. She loves to make you sit pretty for your mommy, head down with your hands on your knees while she stalked around the room in heels. A clear display of dominance.

"What do you need sweetheart?" She held her authoritative tone to show you she expected an answer. "Mommy to make it better" you whimpered still not moving from where you were stationed. "Well then why don't you be a good little slut and fucking earn my help" Emily growled moving to out a head in your heat and tugging it, causing you to yelp out but follow her lead. "Oh don't whine! You know you love it, a little pain slut is all you are."

Next thing you knew you were being pushed onto the bed and your lover straddling your thigh. "Flex" she demanded before starting to grind her hips downwards to seek friction. I'm a constant to her degrading words her smooth hands were constantly touching your skin. It didn't matter if it was your pretty tits or your arms the touch remains light and gentle. "Oh you are a good slut for mommy, letting mommy use your pretty body for my pleasure. Isn't that right my sweet girl?" She mewled as her hips began to lose their rhythm. Knowing she was close you sat up to latch on to her rose bud and sucked harshly. Exactly how she liked, causing her to cum hard. Like a mindless doll you allowed Emily to work her way through the first orgasm of the night, happy to serve. Emily made quick work of shredding any remaining barriers preventing you from being skin to skin.

The raven haired woman shifted to her knees before licking where she'd drenched your thigh, bitting the silky smooth skin just the right amount to draw some blood. "Mommy wants to play with her doll now baby, can you be a good girl for me?" She murmured in between soothing the bit and pressing open mouthed kisses to each thigh. "Yes mommy" you whined  before Emily took a bold swipe of your soaking slit. "Oh! Mmm" you mewled giving Emily all the encouragement she needed to lap at your pussy like a starving woman.

"Let me hear those pretty moans sweet girl. Moan for mommy. I want to hear those pretty noises when you cum for me" Emily mumbled into your cunt, the vibrations sending you over the edge and rewarding her efforts as you mewled in pleasure. Only when she was sure she'd got all her reward did she pull away from your core, chin glistening in your arousal and cum mixed together. "Check in baby" she whispered coming to press sweet kisses all across your chest, up your neck, to your cheek, eyes and nose before your plump lips.

"Emerald" you panted out. Laying beneath her with your pupils blown wide and a beautiful flush over your neck and there swells of your breasts. "Greedy whore tonight" she mused before trailing her fingers south of your body to your sensitive clit. "Mommy!" You whimpered as she made contact. "Oh hush, you'll take what mommy gives you, gosh you're practically a bitch in heat with all this filth down here. A whore for your co-worker, doesn't that make you feel ashamed dirty girl" Emily teased you while her fingers trailed your folds before slamming into your awaiting hole.

The shame only aided the bubble of arousal to grow in your stomach as your love hit the right spot inside your spongy walls with each stroke. Effortlessly she had you close to the edge within minutes and begging for her to let you cum. "Such a fucking whore" she mumbled with a roll of her eyes but never slowing her pace, "be a good cumslut and cum now bitch!" Emily growled her left hand digging into your hips hard enough to leave bruises for days.

"Shh darling, you did so good my love, so good. One more okay one more" she murmured over and over as you rode the pleasurable waves. "No mommy! Can't do more please" you cried well and truly on your way to where you needed to be mentally. You knew your safe word and when to use it which is why Emily manhandled your body to be on top of her own. "Such a slut. Move your fucking ass!" She grumbled smacking your thigh which caused you to adjust into the position she wanted. You couldn't help but sigh as you felt the warmth radiating from her core. "Mommy" you mewled softly as you slowly began to rock your hips against hers.

To be gracious, Emily let you have a few minutes of pathetically rutting against her before she changed the position muttering that you were no more than a useless slut who couldn't even do something so simple. From there on Emily took control of the pace and made sure you could feel everything. "Lavender!" You sobbed through gasps causing everything to halt. "Okay sweet girl, all done, no more. My good girl."

Nothing else mattered to Emily Prentiss apart from you in this moment. She had to make sure you were okay. Instinctively, she moved to cuddle you up into her bare chest and rub your back as you sobbed. Your body shook for minutes until you managed to gain a bit of control. "Mommy?" You muttered into her skin, "I'm sorry." Those two words single handedly broke her heart, "oh sweet girl, you have nothing to apologise for, mommy is so proud of her girl. You did so well for me darling, my pretty girl I couldn't be more proud or in love with you. Mommy is here okay?"

Some time passed before Emily attempted to gently shift away from you, "mommy needs to clean her precious girl up and then we can get into bed and snuggle okay baby?" You nodded in understanding and tried to hide the whimpers when the cool wash cloth hit your over sensitive folds. "All done my girl" Emily murmured quickly ridding herself of the cloth and joining you in the warm bed. "Thank you Emi" you murmured when she gathered you in her arms again. "Always baby, no matter what you need." And that was how it would always be, no matter what you needed Emily would move heaven and earth to give it to you.

Word count ~ 1488

[sgiandubh]

Bcac and gotraveltheworldluv are stalkers and so defensive if you doubt them. The shenanigans are getting too old and predictable. I’m not even a shipper and I think something is wrong.  it just doesn’t make sense. These fake dates are really strange. I mean it’s just not normal so it is questionable. The credibility is not there and these other bloggers are just a bunch of strange women.  I actually believe he has a relationship more with his costar then any of these fake dates it just seems so forced  and on public display. If it was real, why innuendos and why post it knowing fans will seek out? I’m not talking about relationships I mean seriously how can he have been with six women in two months and made sure that everybody knew about it. I’ve come to the conclusion he’s definitely hiding something, I’m not sure what. Even being married secretly I know you guys don’t think he’s gay, but I definitely don’t think that he is with all of these women that he claims to be.  I don’t think you’ve had any girlfriends.

Dear Hiding Something Anon,

BCAC, who? As for the other Pearl of Great Price, well... religious hypocrisy at its finest, really. I wonder what her congregation would think about her dirty, dirty little secret. Online stalking all those women, even those remotely purported to have breathed around S, surely won't get her extra brownie points, or whatever they are called, back in her red neck of the woods.

Funny you are not a shipper, but still found a way to ask yourself all the right questions. According to the Anti Gospel, you are just one step shy of apostasy 😱.

Gay, he is not. That is a lazy theory based on next to nothing, spare a questionable blogger's speculations (and the 'evidence' singlehandedly fabricated on Wikipedia, long debunked by me) and Data Lounge's almost desperate merry go round of three inconclusive pics and my dog's aunt recollections (Lola's aunt probably hails from Carmarthen and I think she has an excellent pedigree, but that's just about it). Whoever came up with this bullshit has no real knowledge of the gay world's dynamics, either and probably a very superficial, second hand exposure to it.

Speculating he fornicated with a half dozen of women in less than three months (and under public, even obsessed, scrutiny) is borderline demented. Sure, he does not need the consent of the King for such leisure activities, but come on: do they hear themselves? From me to you, Anon - I know still waters run deep, but he never stroke me as the randy devil type. I've seen way worse, including in my own backyard (and you'd give Someone your first born to babysit, without even blinking - such a mistake).

So yes, he does hide something. Once you enter this rabbit hole and provided you take a long, critical look around, you're bound to discover many interesting bits and bobs that add up and paint a credible theory.

What do I think he hides? A love story of our times, Anon. With slammed doors, pillow talk, terms of endearment and deep feelings. And yes, your assumption is correct.

And gee, thanks for your words, too. Much appreciated - why be a hypocrite?

I also strive to be informative, Anon. You can seat by my side, at the back of the bus. This is where the most fun is happening and we even have the finest Gunpowder tea, freshly brewed.

[tgmsunmontue]

Saga of Solitude 14/21

Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. IceMav AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version). (Side Hangster, which is ALSO angsty).

PROLOGUE (He remembers)

HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights - set 2009)

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

ONE (2000) TWO (2001) THREE (2002) FOUR (2003) FIVE (2004) SIX (2005) SEVEN (2006) EIGHT (2007) NINE (2008) TEN (2009) ELEVEN (2010) TWELVE (2011) THIRTEEN (2012)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN – 2013

                The Bronco still isn’t up and running, he doesn’t have enough time to dedicate to it unless he’s got weeks of leave. Fortunately Ice lets him bring it home to the house when he’s back so he can work on it without trekking back and forth to the hangar. Then Ice goes one step better and makes Mav finally clear out the garage at Bradley’s house, and he can suddenly store and work on it even in shorter bursts of time. Natasha is still working on getting the engine restored, but she thinks another week of solid work should have it turning over. Of course, it’s getting the time together to work on it which proves elusive. Mav offers to help and Bradley gladly accepts, he doesn’t want to ignore it or have it languishing for years and end up a retirement project. He can see what it’ll look like in his mind and it’s beautiful.

…            …            …

                Pete didn’t think he’d have to knock and wait. Petra just has a friend over, they were meant to be studying. He’s not sure what they were studying exactly, but it wasn’t in any book. Each other’s anatomy maybe. He picks up his phone and paces back and forth in the garage, not ashamed by the fact that he is in fact hiding from his own daughter.

                God fucking damnit, why won’t Ice answer the damn phone already?

                “Pete? Is everything okay?”

                “I, yes, everyone is fine. Physically. Mentally however, I might be scarred for life. I might have scarred Petra for life!”

                There’s a longer than usual pause on the other end.

                “Pete, it’s late afternoon and I will be home in just over an hour, can it wait?”

                “Did you know Petra has a girlfriend?”

                “Oh. Huh. Guess you got your wish about her never being interested in boys…”

                “Ice!” Pete exclaims, because this isn’t funny, although he can hear someone laughing in the background. “Am I on speaker?” he asks suspiciously.

                “No. But funnily enough noise carries through my phone quite well when you raise your voice. I have Slider and Aubrey in the room. I’m actually doing work, because you know, I’m at work?”

                “No no, this is far more amusing than the latest budgetary constraints. What did you see Mav?” Slider asks, and Pete rolls his eyes, remembers now that he’s meant to be coming to stay.

                “Too much. I saw too much.”

                “Maverick. I’ll be home soon. Just take a deep breath. Take something apart and put it back together again… but not the coffee maker.”

                “That was one time!”

                “The first, only and last time. Just… see if you can fix the toaster.”

                “You don’t think I need to talk to her?”

                “And tell her what? The last time you slept with a woman was… what, at least twenty years ago?”

                “I don’t need to give her tips! I was talking more about, consent, and taking things at her own pace… Not rushing into things!”

                “She’s your daughter Mav, she only has one pace and that’s full-speed ahead.”

                “Oh god…” Pete groans, because Ice is so right.

                There’s more muffled laughing and Pete wonders if this is karma.

                “Fortunately Pete, her mother is a lesbian and likely far more equipped to handle the appropriate birds and bees talk,” Tom pauses. “Birds and birds?”

                “Wait. Who gave Bradley that talk?”

                “I did.”

                “When?”

                “About fifteen years ago. Mav! He’s coming up thirty. I hope you don’t think he’s still…”

                “I try not to think about it to be honest!”

                “Yeah well, lucky you. I had to take him through the safe sex talk. Twice.”

                “Huh. I mean, at least we don’t have to worry about her getting pregnant? I’m too young to be a grandfather.”

                There’s more laughter and he wonders if he can put something nasty in Slider’s drink.

                “Mav. Pete. I’ll be home soon. Just go and find the toaster and take it apart okay?”

                “Yeah. Yeah okay.”

…            …            …

                Tom hangs up and looks at Slider and Aubrey, both who are silently laughing. He might as well have had Mav on speaker for how loud his voice had been. He should have probably turned the volume down, but he has no secrets from either of them.

                “Sorry about that.”

                “Oh, don’t be. Seriously, that was the best laugh I’ve had in a long time. Definitely beats talking shop.”

                “I thought it might be something serious.”

                “It is serious,” Aubrey interjects. “To him. And no doubt to Petra as well. Go home sir. I think your family need you there more than we need you here. I have all the material we need.”

                “Okay. Well, if you’re sure?”

                “Of course. Have a good weekend.”

                “You too.”

                She leaves and he stands, starts packing away his things, taking nothing work related home for once given that Slider is staying, which means no time to do work.

                “I’m going to take the rental car and I’ll be around later. After you give me the all clear that it’s safe to turn up. I do not need to be entangled in your family drama.”

                “You don’t have to do that.”

                “Oh, I’m doing it for my sake. Plus I need to go shopping.”

                “Why, what do you need?”

                “Oh, I don’t need anything. You, however, are going to need a new toaster.”

                Tom sighs, because he’s probably right. He needs to talk to Melissa and Sarah.

…            …            …

                “Okay. So family conference time.”

                “This is stupid,” Petra mutters and Ice looks at him, like it’s his fault that she’s this way. Huh. Maybe it is, he has no idea how genetics work.

                “We just think we need to have an open and honest conversation…”

                “Learn how to knock and wait.”

                “Yes, that too, but also, it would have been polite if you had introduced us to your…”

                “Friend. Cassie is my friend. You’ve met her before! I shouldn’t need to introduce my friends every time they come over.”

                “Do you kiss all your friends like that?” Pete asks, and he realizes he maybe doesn’t want to know the answer to that question.

                “Is it any of your business if I do?”

                He frowns, because no, he guesses it isn’t. He looks at Ice, who is rubbing his temples.

                “It was just a shock…” Pete starts again, feeling completely out of depth. Maybe he should have prepared for this better.

                “That’s not my problem! That’s a you problem! And I don’t need to come out. If anything, Tamsin should come out.”

                Pete’s eyebrows go up, looks to Tamsin who is already rolling her eyes and he cannot wait to tell Bradley all about this conversation when they have their weekly talk tomorrow.

                “Do you have something you want to share with us sweetheart?”

                “That I’m straight? Is that what I need to say?” Tamsin asks, looking at Petra with an incredibly unimpressed look and Pete has no idea how to get the conversation back on track, if it was ever on a track to start with. Tom is standing there silently, which is absolutely fucking useless.

                “If the shoe fits.”

                “There’s nothing wrong with being straight!”

                “In this family?” Petra snaps back, sneering at her and Pete blinks. He’d thought they got on well. What the hell is happening?

                “Of course there’s nothing wrong… there’s nothing wrong with any orientation or how you might identify. I would hope you both know that,” he starts, looking frantically to Ice for backup who continues to just stand there quietly.

                “Yeah, so shoot me, I’m the token straight family member.”

                “Okay… what did we just walk in on?” Sarah asks, standing in the doorway and Pete feels so relieved

                “Tamsin just came out as straight,” Petra snaps.

                Sarah and Melissa exchange a look, holding a conversation the same way he and Ice do, years of practice communicating silently. Although he admits he sometimes pretends to misinterpret what Ice wants on purpose just to rile him up a bit.

                “Okay… we’ve already had this conversation. Labels aren’t always helpful.”

                Pete winces inwardly, because of course Sarah and Melissa are all over this, they’re the stable present parents and they know their daughters much better than he does.

                “I know! I’m figuring shit out. Just… can we not talk about it? Please?”

                Then she’s pushing her chair back and running toward her room and fuck, he thinks he’s maybe fucked up.

                “Shit. Sorry. I kind of went about this the wrong way huh?”

                “You think?” Tamsin asks, looking between all the adults like she can’t believe how idiotic they all are. It’s a look so reminiscent of Ice that Pete can’t help but be amused, but he’s got years of practice ensuring it doesn’t show on his face.

                “Just… we love you okay? Know that.”

                “I know. We both know. We love you too.”

…            …            …

                There has been a shift, a subtle one, but still a shift. There aren’t blatant come-ons, but there is definitely less fear, especially among the younger and newer servicemen, ones who have maybe served equal times under DADT and then not, the habits of years not so ingrained and as he watches some of the others hook up and start likely ill-advised affairs he wonders what it must be like to not have over a decade of hiding such a large part of who you are. It makes him a little uncomfortable when he thinks about it too much, so he shoves it down and away, doesn’t let him think about it too much other than in passing.

                Plus he’s not sure whether he’s cut out to be a boyfriend, his relationship with Callum often feeling awkward, like they’re constantly on their best behavior and apart from the sex being really good, he’s not quite sure if it’s the fact that every moment not in bed feels like it’s a first date every time, or whether between him being deployed and Callum’s work they just don’t have the time to make it work. Or, more to the point, the desire to make it work.

…            …            …

                “What are you singing?” Tom asks, because watching his two teenage daughters having fun and laughing will always bring him joy, but the fact that Maverick is standing in the corner filming and grinning like he’s up to something has him suspicious.

                “Hey, all right now, all right now, fellas!”

                “Yeah?” Petra scream-yells and Maverick is grinning widely.

                “Now, what's cooler than being cool?”

                “Ice Cold!”

                “I can't hear ya! I say what's, what's cooler than being cool?”

                “Ice Cold!”

                He meets Pete’s shit eating grin with dead eyes, expression grim. Inwardly he’s amused, but he never passes up an opportunity to screw with Pete if he can, and this is harmless. Petra and Tamsin continue singing and dancing, but Pete’s straightening up from his slouch, looking contrite. He’s glad there isn’t a camera pointed toward him, capturing the expression on his face because he doesn’t think he could keep a straight face if he was being filmed.

                “Ice, Tom… it isn’t…”

                It definitely is something, because there’s no reason for Mav to be acting so guilty and apologetic otherwise. But he can’t keep the grin from his face, loops his arms around Pete and pulls him into his arms and kisses him, still feeling the little swoop of unease about doing this in front of other people, even if they’re his own kids. It’s a slow process to suddenly be okay with being affectionate with Maverick when other people can see.

                “Ew. Gross. Parents kissing.”

…            …            …

                Bradley doesn’t know where he thought he’d be at thirty, and where he is isn’t bad, but he just thought he’d have maybe more of his shit together. Hell, Tamsin seems to not only have a five year plan, but a ten and twenty year plan and if he didn’t know she was Ice’s daughter that would be all the evidence he needed right there. He has another ten to fifteen years of flying if he wants it, he could go commercial and make it last longer, but he doesn’t really know what he wants, so will remain in the holding pattern he’s in. Unfortunately the holding pattern involves having a 30th birthday party he’d rather ignore.

                “You don’t want to invite Callum to your birthday party?”

                “No! Look, Callum and I aren’t serious.”

                “Oh. I thought…

                “Well, you thought wrong.”

                A few weeks later he’s not surprised when Callum breaks it off before his next deployment, telling him that while they might connect physically, it’s not something that can make the foundation of a relationship, not for him. He does think Bradley will one day make some guy really happy, but that maybe he thinks about how much effort he needs to put into his next relationship. He stews over that a bit, because it’s not like Callum was the most available or present, even when they’d spent time together Bradley had felt he’d always come in second place to Callum’s job. Then again, he’s pretty sure Callum feels the same about his job.

                It shouldn’t require effort, it shouldn’t be work. Or rather, he’ll want to do it, so it won’t feel like it’s a chore. His breakup with Callum doesn’t leave him heartbroken, but it does make him reflect on what he does and doesn’t want, and he guesses that’s the whole point of relationships, to find what works and what doesn’t. There were far too many non-negotiables that they couldn’t work through to make anything long-term work out and they already knew that going in, so he guesses Patrick and Christopher were pretty good judges at least.

                He’s deployed with Javy, and he worries briefly that he will know all about him and Jake. He either doesn’t know, or he’s damned good at pretending that Bradley hasn’t treated his best friend like shit. Not that it probably looks that way from a casual observer, but the guilt he feels tells him he hasn’t exactly been the nicest of people. He’s not quite sure how to make it better or right, but at the bare minimum he should probably apologize the next time he sees him. If Jake lets him.

…            …            …

                They find more cancer, but his annual checkups that Melissa bullies him into mean that it’s small. Because Melissa is his doctor he knows he cannot keep it a secret from Sarah. He wonders if he should admit to anyone that there are two women in his life that he cowers under the gaze of. And one isn’t his ex-wife. Sarah might have a special place in his heart, but she isn’t someone that Tom hasn’t ever just acquiesced to. Melissa and now Aubrey, they’re both women that Tom knows, respects and trusts implicitly. And is also a little afraid of if he’s honest with himself, their competency at things he’s not knowledgeable enough about to have as strong an opinion as them. So he trusts them.

                He just doesn’t like it when they join forces.

…            …            …

                He rolls up his sleeves and starts working on the rust spots on the Bronco. He’s only got two weeks, and Maverick is off somewhere he can’t share, but isn’t active duty at least so he won’t worry about him. Although he is still Mav. Tamsin and Petra help him, chattering away about their classes and Tamsin about her plans for study and starting college. It makes him feel old. When Petra complains about not knowing what she wants to do when she’s older he just laughs and shakes his head.

                “You’ve still got a few years yet. Don’t worry about it.”

                “But you knew. Tamsin knows. Dad and Papa both knew. Mom and Mama knew. Surely you figure things out.”

                “Well, I’ll tell you a secret. Sometimes you don’t know and you just go along with whatever feels right at the time…”

                “Is that what you did?”

                “Well… sort of. I didn’t back then but I’m sort of doing it now.”

                “Wait. Do you not know what you want to be when you’re grown up either?”

                He snorts in amusement at her phrasing.

                “No. I guess not.”

                “But you’re ancient! You’re twice as old as me.”

                “Yeah, thanks for pointing that out Pet. I never figured out how to do maths.”

                “Haha. I just thought you might had forgotten at your advanced age.”

                “Wow. Just… wow. The cheek of youth these days. You want me to drive you around while I’m on leave, or do you want to be asking your parents?”

                “Ugh. Fine.”

                “Yeah well, the rust isn’t removing itself. Come on.”

                “Fine. Is Natasha coming to visit? Does she know you don’t want to keep flying?”

                “Uh. No. She’s currently deployed in the Atlantic. Why? Plus I love flying, I want to keep flying.”

                “Oh. No reason. And that’s cool. I just thought you might do what Dad did and become an admiral or something.”

                “I can give you her number if you like. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you. And becoming an admiral is… well, it sure is something I guess.”

                He’s not even making it up, because Natasha asks about them every time they talk, Petra especially, and he knows it might be because Petra is only a couple years older than whatever kid Natasha might have had, had she decided on a different path. It’s his own path he can’t see very clearly at the moment.

…            …            …

                He looks at the movie title, casts his mind back to the scene in the kitchen of his husband and daughters dancing and singing. This will likely give them ammunition for years but the warmth he feels when he thinks about them being silly and loving makes him smile so he goes in and buys four tickets for Frozen.

FIFTEEN

[certifiedsexed]

hello! a while ago i had a conversation with my girlfriend that i found kind of distressing and sometimes i think back to it and get kind of worried? and i am not sure how to handle it. for context i'm transfem and she's cis, i do not know how exactly how much this factors into this?

we're long distance so we haven't had an opportunity to do anything in person yet but we've talked about sex or sexted plenty of times. a pretty long time ago now there was one time when she was initiating that and i wanted to go along with it but i couldn't really get into the right headspace for it (wasn't anxious, i was just getting really distracted, couldn't get into it). she got pretty frustrated about it which was understandable.

then more recently, a long time after that, we were talking and i thought she was trying to initiate something (turned out she wasn't but. not really the focus) and so i tried to go along with it but ended up sorta overthinking the scenario she was talking about and got too anxious. and then started feeling really scared & upset with myself about not being able to roll with it (felt like i was failing by not being receptive enough, or letting her down really REALLY badly or something?), which took me further out of the mood which caused a feedback loop, and i don't know if it was an anxiety attack or what, but? it was definitely unexpected and i hadn't had feelings like that before (& haven't since, either, but maybe just because i haven't had trouble staying in the right mood on any occasions since then?). and after i got myself together enough to tell my girlfriend (and we cleared up the slight miscommunication) i was still feeling pretty vulnerable. so i asked her, if one day she really was initiating something, potentially in person, but i got too anxious and had to stop, would she be angry with me?

and. she didn't give me a "no"? if she were to ask me that question, my answer would be "no, absolutely not, not in a hundred years, even if i was looking forward to it it wouldn't matter to me anymore, your well-being is so much more important". which is something i've tried very hard to make clear in the past. and when i asked her, i was kind of hoping to get an answer which at least kind of mirrors that sentiment (although she has a hard time being soft, so probably a little more blunt?). but it just, wasn't there. she was totally insistent that if i ever need to stop then that means we don't go any further, but, she seemed to kind of, not be willing to say that she wouldn't be angry? when i expressed that it would be difficult for me to hit the brakes if i expect her to be angry about it, she just reaffirmed that i should absolutely never ever do anything sexual that i'm not feeling okay about.

i don't know if it makes sense for this to bother me, but it kind of does? i do appreciate that she emphasized the importance of my consent & well-being, and i also appreciate that she was, evidently, taking care not to make promises she can't expect to keep, about how she'd feel in the moment. but. the fact that she can't make that promise is itself distressing to me...? on the one hand, it is kind of unsettling to me that the way I know I would feel, doesn't seem to go the other way. on the other hand, i don't know if it is unreasonable of me to have these expectations for how she should feel emotionally about things? it's not like she'd choose to get angry, and clearly she wants me to stop things if i have to regardless, so it feels like it would be inappropriate to wish she would feel some other way than she would.

but also, internally, i'm worried that if i know she'll be angry, i won't be able to stop things, at least not deliberately? i know in my heart that if i were in that situation and i had the option to swallow my discomfort and go along, just to avoid making her mad, that i would, even though i know it wouldn't be right and isn't what she'd want. but i also know that my insecurity & people-pleasing are problems of mine, and not her responsibility. it's not her fault that i'm ill-equipped (or, honestly, unwilling) to assert boundaries or stand up for myself, and if I were to let myself trick her into hurting me because of that, I would be doing wrong by her, not the other way around. and, frankly, i kind of wear my emotions on my sleeve, i wouldn't even be capable of hiding my discomfort, so she'd obviously be able to tell & hit the brakes herself - so does any of this actually matter at all??

as additional context, she has some sexual trauma from a past relationship, and i don't. i have my own anxieties & baggage relating to sex, just, from being a trans lesbian and stuff, but it's obviously not the same, so i'm of course not entirely on the same wavelength as her. everything about this feels so complicated and it seems like almost anything could be a factor? and she's so patient with me about other things. I second-guess myself CONSTANTLY about basically everything, and I feel like most of the people who i could talk to about it might not necessarily get it. so i've just been kind of ruminating in circles and turning it into a huge tangled mess in my head.

i'm very sorry about the super super long ask! i hope it isn't too much trouble. thank you for running this blog!

Hello! This is admittedly more of a therapy thing but I'm going to answer this anyway.

So, here's the thing, Anon: I don't know your girlfriend, so I can't guarantee what she meant. Maybe she's also overthinking and going "I don't want to promise something definitely when maybe someday something obscure is going to happen and cause me to break that promise" or some shit.

That said, I think this is definitely important!

You deal with a lot of anxiety and this sounds like it'll probably further complicate sex, especially if you don't figure out exactly what she means. It makes sense you'd be wary or bothered at the possibility she might be angry at you for not being able to have sex, that's scary!

Being wary that someone might be angry at you for something you can't help isn't the same as dictating someone's emotions, Anon. That's a very natural reaction, actually. It's what one might call "a red flag".

You do have personal responsibility about your consent and boundaries and insecurities, that's true, but those are also part of your relationship now.

You should both know about each others feelings and boundaries and making sure each other are consenting. It would not just be your fault if you agreed to something because you were trying to manage her emotions and issues.

I know this probably isn't the advice you want, Anon, but this is a situation where you need to talk to her. Explain to her what you're worried about, ask her why she insinuated she might get angry at you for saying no, all of that.

You're in a relationship. Communicating is a very important part of that, especially if sex is involved and you both have baggage.

Neither of you should be having sex without talking more and figuring out how to manage each others triggers and boundaries and if she doesn't want to talk about this, don't have sex.

If she's not kind about it or refuses to talk, then it sounds like she's not a good person for you to be with.

Also, if she's going to be mad at you for saying no and there's no discussion of "how do we build trust so that you understand my possible anger is my issue and you should not say yes to manage it", then it also sounds like she's not a good person for you to be with.

Because that's clearly a trigger for you (which is very fair) and you've already stated it would impair your ability to consent properly.

You don't need to have specific trauma related to sex to be allowed to have specific boundaries and questions surrounding it, Anon and if she's kind and patient outside of this, I think she'll understand that. Talk.

I'm not sure if this is helpful but don't worry about the long ask, it's okay. Lemme know if you have any other questions. Sending love and courage, Anon. <3

[daystobook]

Separate the Art from the Artist?

I didn't know about the allegations before a person commented on my previous post, requesting me to put a disclaimer and/or remove his name's tag. I did both. And then I listened to the 6 series podcast.

I was in the middle of Neil Gaiman's masterclass. I was taking notes, doing exercises, and just generally getting inspired from the way he said and shared things—in his polite euphonious British accent, innocent and honest sounding voice—the stories he told about his own writing journey.

I was heart broken, angry, but also compassionate in that of a blessing—that may he find the right ways to acknowledge, accept, reflect, self introspect, share—the things he might not have dealt with about himself in a long time, maybe ever. From the accounts and the intricacies of all of the cases where women came out and shared their horrific experiences, I can't begin to believe that this has actually happened. I am still shocked, more than I ever have. I have never had an influence as strong as his over me as an aspiring writer. My girlfriend and I met and bonded over the stories he wrote on our first date.

I spent the whole day listening to the podcast series, I needed to know for myself. At the end of the day when I was done listening, I just hovered around my girlfriend's work desk in utter gloom and dejection. She hugged me. Then I shared with her, in summary of what made me sad after she asked, and after I told her that I wouldn't want to tell her. She said that when she had come across the news, she'd deliberately not gone into the details to prevent this sadness.

She asked me how I was going to go through the Master Class and its exercises now. I told her that I didn't know, but when some time would have passed, I'd read him again, but without the starry eyed pedestalization or being a fan. I'd read him purely for the craft, and nothing else. For now, I would not be able to read him. So I've resumed reading other things.

I really wish that he—if not to the world, which would be a tragedy and a travesty, then at least to himself privately—accepts that it is not okay, in any realm, to take advantage of stardom to blind other people into assuring, assuming or deciding consent for them. And that if he would ever be unsure, and especially if he'd be sure, to learn to ask, before coercing in the shadow of assuming that there are common feelings emerging for all parties, irrespective of any mental health problem he might be a victim of.

Terry Pratchett and other fantasy writers it is now. Back to Addie Larue.