#I also wanna give them uncles and aunts and cousins and extended families but I’ll worry about that if/when relevant.

[fishyartist]

Tumblrina 2 me btw. Would ride up and say some shit like “I’m not trans but I believe in their beliefs” or maybe say some shit about leaving to “steal some shoelaces” then kicking Joe Biden in the sack or something

[anders-hawke]

Family Reunion

“Mulder, I should warn you,” Scully started, putting a hand on his chest so he didn’t bump into her, “my family’s large. We’re Irish Catholics married to other Catholics, mostly also Irish. My dad had three siblings and two of them had four kids, too. And now a lot of those first cousins of mine are married and have kids. So there’s a lot of people here.”

“I’ll be fine, Scully. That’s only, what? Somewhere around thirty people?” He shrugged, hands in the pockets of his slacks. Scully fixed his tie and did up another button of his suit jacket. “It’s fine.”

“You forgot the spouses, Mulder.” He widened his eyes and made his mouth into an O to make her laugh. “My Aunt Olive even flew over from Ireland for this. She didn’t have just four kids, Mulder. She had seven. She’s very devout and extremely maternal. She always gave Missy and I cookies when we were able to see her.”

Mulder smiled at that and offered Scully his arm. “Now that you’ve prepared me for the onslaught of Scullys, shall we?” He extended his hand to her and she took it, lifting up the skirt of her dress as they entered the hotel.

He stayed close to Scully all night, getting introduced to her family members and even running into Bill, Tara, and Matthew. Mulder never thought he’d be relieved to see his brother-in-law’s face, but he was.

“Hi, Matt,” Scully greeted, giving her now-twelve-years-old nephew a brief hug. “Do you remember Uncle Mulder?”

She looked over at him and he waved as Matt shook his head. Mulder forgave the kid, considering that the last time they’d seen each other Matthew had been turning two. “That’s okay, bud. You were only two the last time we saw each other.”

(Scully had dragged him along to Christmas dinner in ’98 knowing that he no longer received invitations from his family, and then he’d gone again at both his partner and Maggie’s insistence when Bill was hosting Christmas the next year.)

“I feel like it’s weird that I knew my nephew before he was my nephew,” Mulder said as they walked away.

Scully scanned the room, taking his arm. “My family’s fucked up anyway. A weird relationship between nephew and uncle isn’t the worst thing in the world. We’ll go over for the Superbowl next year and you can bond while my mom, Tara, and I get drunk on wine. Speaking of wine, let’s get some.”

“Sounds good by me.”

The rest of the event passed by much more smoothly due to Mulder and Scully’s alcohol intake, although he let his wife get genuinely drunk, taking it upon himself to be the designated driver. She leaned against him when they eventually left, broken down to her bare essentials by the wine.

“Forgot to tell you, Mul’er,” she said, slurring a little. “Aunt Olive’s kids flew over for the party.”

He laughed and squeezed her closer to him for a moment with the arm he had wrapped around her. “I figured that out based on all the red hair and Irish accents.”

“D’you think William still has red hair? D’you think his eyes are still green? Babies’ hair will get progressively darker and can keep doing that until they’re ten years old. Orange is just a light brown... And he didn’t really have green eyes.” Scully hiccuped as Mulder unlocked the car. “They were just green the day I gave up on him.”

“Don’t say that, Scully,” he reprimanded.

“Sorry,” she murmured, sitting down in the passenger seat without coordination. “Maybe he’s got blue eyes now. Maybe he has blue and green eyes! Oh, I miss him so much, Mulder. They were both gone before we ever truly got to know them.”

He handed his wife some tissues. “We could always adopt, honey.”

“I know. But I don’t... I don’t ache for a baby I’ve never met. I ache for my babies. And... It wouldn’t be nice of me to use a new baby to fill holes they’re not meant to fill.”

Mulder nodded along, watching the road ahead. “I understand.”

Scully leaned her head against her seatbelt. “I always feel like a fraud when I go to family reunions. Everyone has tons of kids except for Bill and Tara. I don’t even know if I would’ve wanted that but because I can’t, I do. I wanna have a big house and seven kids. But I have no kids in the house. I let the one die and I stupidly gave the other away. Stupid.”

“Scully—”

“I thought I did the right thing but I just—let her die. And now our baby has no support system and—and doesn’t know why I gave him up, or—or why he’s different than everybody else—”

“Scully, stop!” Mulder shouted, pulling the care over to the shoulder of the road and parking it. “We’ve been over this so many times. You promised me that if we drank, you wouldn’t do this...”

She put her head in her hands. “I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter whether we were good or bad parents—whether you made good choices as a mother. We can’t change the past. But what we can be is a good aunt and uncle. A good sister and brother-in-law. You have to believe that... that we’re better than our failures, because if you don’t, then what about me.”

Scully nodded and sat up, sloppily wiping away her tears before taking one of Mulder’s hands in her own. “I’m sorry I get so messy when I’m drunk.”

“I’m sorry I let you drink.”

“I love you,” they said at the same time, and they both laughed softly.

“We’ll be okay, right?” she asked.

“We have to try.”

[captainjonnitkessler]

Does anyone wanna hear about the absolute mess of family drama I’ve been embroiled in for the last year

(long post below the cut)

The Incident:

So last August I was at a family party, a dinner for my grandmother’s birthday. I’m hanging out in the family room with my uncle, his girlfriend, and my aunt. I’ve been trying to leave for twenty minutes but I came with my mom who’s busy showing my cousin something, so I’m waiting for her to finish when I hear my uncle say in regards to his daughter’s doctor (that he hates, because she was chosen by his daughter’s mother, which is a Whole Thing) - “No, she’s Indian. Fuckin’ terrorist, with one of those little dots on her forehead. It’ll give me something to aim at, at least.” 

And everyone else in the room just kind of nods along, and I’m like “uhh what the fuck is wrong with you?” And he looks absolutely surprised and says “what?” To which my aunt responds “Well, that wasn’t a very nice thing to say.” And I’m like “no, it’s a horrible thing to say, you can’t just call all Indian people terrorists”. 

My uncle responded “What do you think I did for five years in Iraq?” (*now we don’t have time to unpack ALL that.jpg*)

Now I was pretty fucking shocked, and I hate hate hate hate hate confrontation. At this point my adrenaline skyrocketed, I felt shaky and sick and wasn’t super sure of what I was saying. I said something along the lines of “fuck the military and fuck you”, and he said “who do you think you are to talk to me like that? I’ll kick your ass!” but by this point I was on my way out of the house. I said terse goodbyes to the rest of the family and left with my mom who followed me out. 

The general family reaction was that I way overreacted and was out of line to talk to my uncle like that. There was a lot of “well, he shouldn’t have said that, but that wasn’t the time or place to bring it up”, etc. 

And I DO wish I’d handled it a little better! But I was in absolute shock at the time and then my hatred of confrontation kicked in and I wasn’t thinking super straight so yeah, I caused a bit of a scene but like . . . he threatened to MURDER a woman for her religion. So I feel like maybe one of those is worse!!

The Aftermath:

For a week afterward, my mom and I didn’t see or speak to anyone in my extended family. Which is weird, because my mom calls my grandmothers every couple of days at minimum to check up on them, and even after over a week of radio silence not a single person called my mom to check up on HER. 

When she did finally start calling them again, she told them that we were not going to be attending any event that my uncle was also attending (i.e., all of them). They were FURIOUS. 

They told her that we were tearing the family apart, that we were overreacting, that we need to respect his right to his opinion - all that. After that, a couple of my aunts called my mom to try and talk her into reconciling with my uncle, which she staunchly refused on the grounds of my uncle has ALWAYS been violent and racist and she’s sick of the family making excuses for him. 

Worth noting: to this day, not a single goddamned person in the family has called, texted, or otherwise contacted me in any way. Not when it happened, not to get my version of events, not to check in, absolutely nothing. Everything has gone through my mom, despite the fact that she wasn’t even part of the original incident and while she was very supportive of me, it was my initial decision to leave and to not go back to other family events. 

I still haven’t spoken to anyone in the family, with the exception of going to brunch with my grandmother a couple times, wherein she tried to guilt us into sweeping it all under the rug. A lot of “Of COURSE he’s not racist, he has friends of lots of different colors! He’s not homophobic just bc he supports Trump, his best friend is a lesbian!” My mom and I both tried explaining that supporting Trump means throwing marginalized people under the bus by default but they just called us close-minded and told us we had to accept his opinion if we want them to accept ours. We refused and shortly after the pandemic started and we stopped seeing them anyway, as my great-grandmother is immunocompromised.

Now:

It’s largely been a moot point since the pandemic hit, but my great-grandmother is turning 85 and really wants the entire family there. Now, I’m not going anyway because I work in a hospital and I’m not going to a large gathering for an immunocompromised person during an ongoing pandemic (you absolute dumbasses), but I wasn’t going to go in any case because it’s almost certain my family will be talking shit about the BLM protesters and I’m gonna start another fight if I hear that. So tbh I think my family’s a little relieved I’m not going after all.

But my sister just told my other sister that she thinks we’re overreacting, that we “have to accept that people have different opinions” and we “can’t keep attacking everyone who doesn’t think exactly like us”. And I am getting so sick and fucking tired of explaining that there is not like, a base level of racism I’m gonna ignore. There’s not a line that’s like “ok after this point it’s acceptable to call someone out on their racism”. That line is set at 0, okay, it’s 2020, I’m not gonna hold their fucking hands and walk them through “and this is why we don’t threaten to murder people with a different skin color or religion”. This wasn’t “we disagreed about where the city should allocate funds in this year’s budget”, this was a violent racist talking about murdering a woman he disagreed with. 

I’m not gonna attend events with a violently racist and sexist asshole and just kind of pretend I’m cool with it. (Also I don’t know for sure if he’s transphobic but I know for a fact he doesn’t think NB identities are real. And since I just came out to my family I don’t wanna deal with that bullshit.) And I don’t know. Maybe I should go and just keep calling people out on whatever bullshit I hear. Maybe I should try harder to educate my family on why I’m mad and why that sort of thing is unacceptable. But I really, really don’t think they’re willing to hear me. 

And I feel really bad because I know family is SUPER important to my grandparents, but . . . it’s really not to me. I’d rather hang out with my friends who love and support me for real than my family who “accepts” me as long as they can ignore me. And again: not one single person has bothered to call me in the 10 months since this happened, so how much could they actually care that I’m not there? 

And so that’s all my family drama, and if anyone has read this far thank you for reading, I just really wanted to vent about All This. 

[pixiemunsons]

are you jealous?

you’re not really harry’s girlfriend. tom doesn’t get the memo (1467 words)

a/n: hey guys! this is just a quick something i whipped up. lots of fluff and some angst if you squint. love you!!

spending time with tom, sam and harry has always been a favourite of yours. you’d known the twins since you were fourteen, and had instantly developed a crush on their hot older brother as soon as you started spending time at their house. over time, sleepovers spent sandwiched between the twins on one of their beds and movie nights spent under a blanket together had started to incorporate tom. not that you were complaining; on the rare nights you managed to convince the boys to let paddy spend time with you all there was nothing you loved more than being tickled by or having pillow fights with the four holland boys. your relationship with none of the boys had ever gone any further than cuddles and the occasional cheek kiss, much to your dismay when it came to the oldest holland boy. sam and harry knew of your interest in their brother, teasing you relentlessly and bringing him up all the time just to watch you squirm as your cheeks turned red and you attempted to deny their accusations.

one autumn afternoon, harry rang you to let you know that he was on his way over, putting the phone down before you could resist with a cheeky ‘see you soon, darling!’ reluctantly, you pulled yourself out of bed and brushed your teeth. you didn’t change out of your pyjamas, however; harry had seen you in a lot worse than this, and at least the set you were wearing matched. soon, you heard the curly haired boy let himself into your house, shouting a quick ‘hello, mrs (y/l/n)!’ into the living room, where your mother was watching television. you heard them talking and rolled your eyes at your mum’s laughter; she loved harry and sam, and asked you all the time when you’d next be seeing them. soon enough, you heard harry bounding up the stairs, and before you knew it he was barging into your room and throwing himself on the bed beside you. you frowned at him.

‘i could’ve been naked, harry! you really need to start knocking.’ you sighed, throwing your phone to one side. he led on his font and rested his chin on his fist, smirking at you and wiggling his eyebrows.

‘you know i’d love that, darling. anywayyyy,’ he whined in a michevious voice, one you knew all too well.

‘what do you want, harry?’ you sighed, reaching for a hairbrush. he frowned at you. ‘i resent the idea that i’m only here because i want something.’ you looked at the boy blankly, and he shrugged his shoulders in defeat. ‘fine, there is something.’

‘knew it. what do you want, holland?’ you asked, combing knots from your bed head. /wanna pretend to be my girlfriend?’ he asked casually. you, however, almost choked on the air you were breathing.’

‘what?! why the hell would i need to pretend to be your girlfriend?’

‘well, i might have maybe possibly told my family that i have one and that she’ll be at our family party tonight... and i don’t know any other girls. plus, you’d get to make tom extra jealous.’ you threw a pillow at harry’s face, and he looked up at you with a mixture of mock anger and what appeared to be embarrassment. his mother was always on at him to ‘finally’ ask you out despite your insistences that the two of you were just friends. his extended family was even worse, constantly asking about his love life. you felt bad for him as you looked at his sad face.

‘who knows you’ve asked me?’ his face perked up as you spoke. ‘just sam. he knows it’s fake, i was gonna tell the rest of them after the party.’

‘fine then, i’ll come,’ you said as harry whooped. ‘but i’m very insulted that you hadn’t asked me to come before.’

you were stood in the holland’s back garden in your favourite blue tea dress, harry’s arm around your waist casually as you chatted to his aunt and uncle. his mum had almost squealed when you’d arrived at the front door, gushing about how she hadn’t realised that you were the ‘mystery girl’ harry had been talking about. you’d smiled through it, feeling slightly guilty but also happy to be around your favourite family. all evening, you’d been inundated with comments about how cute the two of you were, except for by one person; tom. he hadn’t spoken to you except for a ‘hi’ when you first got to the house, and he had been off all night, spending most of the gathering in his bedroom. you giggled at a joke harry told, smiling at his cousin and her fiancé.

‘go on harry, give her a kiss.’ her fiancé had jibed, and you laughed it off. ‘i’m being serious,’ he winked. ‘give her a little kiss.’ you seized up, looking up at harry. he saw the worry in your eyes, unsure of whether this was going too far. harry simply lent down and pressed a gentle peck to your forehead and then another to your left cheek, squeezing your waist. ‘she’s shy, mate. maybe later, eh?’ harry had smiled, and you were smiling along when something caught your eye.

tom had come downstairs, it appears, and was watching your interaction with harry. you watched as he clenched his jaw, turning on his heel and storming back through the house, presumably to his bedroom. you were worried about him- after all, he’s one of your best friends and you wanted to see if he was okay. you turned to harry, telling him you’d be back in a moment. he squeezed your waist again, sending you away with another kiss to the cheek and a ‘see you soon, babe.’ you made your way up the familiar stairs, knocking quietly on tom’s door. ‘what?’ he said, rather rudely, and you pushed the door open slowly.

‘it’s me, can i come in?’ you asked gently, and tom looked up from where he was sat on his bed. ‘shouldn’t you be with harry?’ he almost spat, and you flinched at his harsh tone. tom’s face softened slightly as he realised he’d upset you, and he patted the bed next to him. ‘yeah, course you can, love.’

you made your way to his bed, sitting on his navy sheets and looking down at your hands. ‘what’s going on, tommy?’ you asked, and a small smile made it’s way onto his face. he hated that name, except for when you said it.

‘since when were you dating harry?’ he asked softly, looking at you. you made eye contact with the older boy, and you were surprised to see what looked like tears swimming in his chocolate eyes. your own eyes grew open, and you were quick to correct him.

‘no, tommy. it’s not like that. it’s... well, your family’s been on at him to get a girlfriend so i’m just... playing the role for a night.’ you explained.

‘so... you’re not really seeing him?’ he asked, sounding hesistant.

‘definitely not. he’s my best friend, nothing else. never will be- we’re not like that, me and harry. nor me and sam.’ you told him. he looked at your face, eyes flitting from your eyes to your lips.

‘what about me? could we be like that?’ he murmured, and you felt your heart pound. ‘is- is that something you want, tommy?’ you almost breathed, unconsciously moving closer as he did the same.

‘it drives me absolutely crazy when you call me that. god, i love it so much. i was devastated when i saw you with harry. thought i’d lost you forever.’ he reached up to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear, his hand resting on your cheek.

‘are you jealous, tommy?’ you teased, and he smiled. ‘more than anything, babe.’ and with that, he leant in and pressed his lips to yours, his other hand moving to your waist as you turned to lean into his embrace. the kiss was short, sweet, caring. he pulled away and looked into your eyes, tenderly running his thumb across your bottom lip. ‘i’ve wanted to do that forever, you know?’ he whispered, leaning back in to kiss you again.

‘jesus, have you changed your name to mr steal your girl now?’ you heard your best friend yell from behind you, and you pulled away from tom with red cheeks to face harry.his arms were crossed and there was a look of defeat on his face. ‘very happy for you two, but can you at least still be my girlfriend until the end of the night until we explain this to mum and dad?’ he grinned, leaning against tom’s door frame as you blushed and tom smirked behind you.

[quillreflections]

Title: Electric Blue

Chapter: 9

Series: Yugioh GX

Pairing: Chazz/reader

disclaimer: written for Christmas, I’m just posting here late

Are you hiding, somewhere behind those eyes?

With the exception of a few unlucky students and staff, the island was empty. Chazz Princeton was one of those exceptions.

He stood in front of the quiet duel building, glaring up at the cloud-covered sky as he buried his chapped hands deep in his uniform coat's pockets. "Too damn cold," he muttered to himself, watching his breath curl out of his mouth and crystallize in the air, "but it's better'n Hell." He shuddered at the thought of spending the holidays with his family. An empty campus was much better.

He pulled his hands from his pockets only long enough to tighten his scarf before taking off at a trot. Not even the Blue cafeteria was open over the winter break- he was going to spend all December eating Slifer food.

Was going home really that bad-?

Chazz's gait slowed as he approached the cliffside buildings; partially because he really didn't want to be there, but also because someone else caught his eye.

Completely underdressed for the weather, you'd only pulled a thin long-sleeve shirt on under your normal, warm-weather uniform; your teeth were chattering so hard as you went for dinner, Chazz could hear them from yards away.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He bit out, his long legs easily falling into step alongside your quick strides. You didn't even flinch at his sudden appearance.

"H-heya, Chazz! I didn't think an island would get so cold, y'know?" You forced a laugh; it drifted from your mouth like steam, and Chazz frowned down at you. He grabbed at your arm, pulling you to a stop with him.

"You're such a fool," he fake-snarls, tugging his coat collar out from underneath his scarf, shrugging his uniform coat off entirely. "You're lucky I'm here, [Name]." He tried to look frustrated, but couldn't keep the note of warmth from creeping into his voice as he handed you his coat.

You stared at it for a moment. "Chazz, I can't just take your-"

"Take it or I'm leaving you here to freeze." He looked away from you, his face tinged slightly red. You giggled a bit before taking his coat and pulling it on; since he'd been wearing it for so long, it was already gorgeously warm, and you let out a long sigh as your chilled self began to thaw. When you inhaled, Chazz's cologne drifted over your senses, engraving itself into your memory.

Chazz snickered at your pleased face, deftly reaching out to button the coat up as you buried yourself further in it. Before he could pull away, you wrapped your arm around his, pressing yourself up against his side. You both began walking again.

"I didn't think you'd be this warm, Chazz."

"Y'know, hot-blooded. I'm just that incredible."

You laughed again. It wasn't much longer before you reached the Slifer Red cafeteria; Chazz pulled his arm from your grasp so he could hold the door open for you, and you caught him making a face at the dinner selection.

There were only a handful of people in the room; students of all colors, and the few lunch ladies that were being paid overtime to feed the kids. Chazz motioned you off to a table and went up to the counter on his own.

You settled in one of the rickety chairs, fiddling with the hem of Chazz's coat, occasionally burying your face in the tall collar and taking another deep breath. His cologne is tangy, and brings citrus to mind; you almost wish you could be enveloped even further in it.

When Chazz glances around the room to find where you'd sat, he can't help the heat rushing to his face at the sight of you in his clothing. He tries his best to stamp down his grin as he brings two trays over to the table.

"They said it's creamed beef, but. . ." his voice trails off as he sets a tray down in front of you and takes his own seat. Whatever's in your dish is certainly. . . interesting. Grimacing, you pile it onto your fork and take a brave bite. Chazz watches intently as you taste it- although his gaze wanders over you quite a bit- and eventually you smile grimly.

"It's edible, but we may wanna stop by the vending machines again." You shrug and take another bite. Chazz just glares into his bowl of gunk.

You eat quietly for awhile. The small, cramped mess hall is filled with the low murmurings of the other occupants; students who will be on campus until the next semester begins. Chazz's gaze flickers up from his dinner and over to you. He swallows nervously.

"So, you're not going home for the break?" He frowns at how his voice wavers.

You finish your bite and set your silverware down. "No- I'm happier here. You?"

He shakes his head. "My family's awful with the holidays. Ugh, my parents love to attend and throw these fake, uppity parties, and everyone drags me along; I have never been as uncomfortable as when they get me in a tux." He leans his chin in his hand, drumming his fork against the table with his other hand.

You snicker. "You have the figure for a tux, though!"

"Of course I do, have you seen the men in my family?" Chazz smirks. "This school's lucky it has uniforms, because if I could wear my regular clothes, I'd have women throwing themselves at me." Not that I want anyone else; he shakes the abrupt thought from his mind as his face heats up again.

Having finished your excuse of a meal, the two of you clean up quickly and delve back out into the cold, making your way across campus and to the vending machines like you'd suggested. The walk is a quiet one; Chazz keeps glancing at you out of the corner of his vision as you stride along next to him.

The frosted grass crunches underfoot; Chazz's coat is so big on you, the hem trails the ground, leaving a path behind you. At one point, his hand brushes against yours- you assume it was an accident, but he blushes and mumbles an apology anyways as he looks away.

You let out a sigh as you both step into the vending pavillion. It's shielded from the wind, and the machines are warm.

"So, waddaya want?" Chazz digs into his jean pockets for his wallet and steps up to his favorite machine. You watch him slide in the change and press the button for taiyaki; noting your gaze, he smiles and buys a second one, pulling them both from the drawer and handing one out to you.

"Thanks," you mutter around a hot bite of the pastry; he just grunts back at you, exhaling as his own food scalds his tongue.

In turn, you pay for a few of those good burgers, piling the boxes on one of the metal tables as you and Chazz both dig in. This is much better than whatever the cafeteria had called food.

"What does your family do for Christmas?" Your voice shatters the comfortable silence. Chazz looks up from among the foil and cardboard, chewing thoughtfully as he watches you.

"Well," he starts quietly, "my family may be kinda shitty, but they sure know how to celebrate." He takes another contemplative bite. "My mom used to make cookies. She'd always do it herself instead of handing it off to any hired help- that's what made 'em special. And when we were really little, my dad would read Christmas stories to us."

Chazz looked up from his food and off into the distance. His sharp face softened in the dying light. "My brothers and I would spend half the year making something for our parents; since they could buy anything, we wanted to give them something they'd never seen before. And we'd always decorate the tree together- we each got a new ornament every year." He suddenly bit into his burger again, chewing aggressively. "We haven't spent a Christmas together in years."

"Sorry, I-"

"Hey, what about your family?" He interrupts your attempted apology. You shrug.

"My family's tradition was always opening one gift on Christmas Eve." You smiled at the memory. "My extended family- us, aunts, uncles, cousins- would all take turns hosting a big dinner a few days beforehand, too. It's always been really nice; everyone brings unique foods, and gifts turned into such a mess-" Your smile falters a bit, though, and you nervously begin folding some spare foil. "But things have been tense for the last few years, even outside of my immediate family."

You delve back into your mountain of a meal, and the pair of you have polished off the pile of food in just a few more minutes. A quick clean up and you're back off in the direction of the dorms.

At your side, Chazz lets out a huff and rubs his arms; even in his thick shirt, he felt the cold eventually. He cupped his hands around his mouth and breathed on them, trying to get some heat back into his tingling fingers; when he went to shove his hands in his pockets, you didn't let yourself stop to think. You grabbed his one hand and intertwined your fingers before shoving your clasped hands into the pocket of his borrowed coat. Chazz looked at you, wide-eyed and red-faced, but you kept your gaze fixed straight ahead and kept marching. He squeezed your hand tightly.

It was quiet until you reached the point where your paths split. You slowly pulled your hands from your pockets, and Chazz had to catch himself before he whined at the loss of your hand in his. You shrugged his coat off and handed it to him with a smile.

"Thanks, Chazz! I'll see you later!" With that, you took off at a jog, trying to get to the girl's dorm before your blood iced over in your veins.

Chazz stood there alone in the dark.

☆☆☆

At the loss of another digital dueling round, your weary eyes wandered to the corner of the screen.

December 24th, 7 p.m.

You sighed heavily before looking out your dorm room window, although the sight of the snow didn't quite register; you hadn't heard from your family, but that wasn't much of a surprise. This was going to be your first Christmas alone.

You stood and stretched- you'd been playing your video games all day, so your body was getting tense from not moving much.

Someone knocked on your door. You paused in your quick exercises and moved to answer, briefly wondering who'd be here now.

"[Name]! A bit early, but merry Christmas!" Jaden grinned at you, practically bouncing on his toes, snow dusted over his shoulders and hair.

You smile back, although it's tinged in confusion. "Merry Christmas, Jaden! Um, how did you get into the girls dorm-"

"We don't have the time for that, [Name]; I was supposed to get you half an hour ago." Jaden grabs you by the hand and starts tugging you down the hallway, barely giving you time to shut and lock your door. "Hey, don't ask any questions, okay? You'll see in a moment."

Jaden has always been sweet despite his oddities, so you just let him propel you into the snowy night. The two of you break into a run across the freezing campus, Jaden leading you past the other dorms, the cafeterias, and all the way to one of the main lecture halls. He pulls you around to the side entrance of the building; when he raps on the cold steel side door, it swings open, and Syrus peeks out.

"It's about time, Jaden!" The smaller boy pouts as Jaden shoves you inside.

"Hey man, at least she's here now-"

"Syrus, Jay won't tell me anyth-"

"Come on, before Chazz throws a fit!"

Syrus grabs you by the other hand, and both boys lead you past all of the empty classrooms and offices. Before you know it, you've been hauled into an elevator, on your way to the top floor.

☆☆☆

Chazz lets out a shakey breath, running his hand down his face and looking around the room. Atticus stands proudly next to him.

Chazz nervously eyes the room. ". . . you're sure it's okay?" His voice is raspy and unsteady.

Atticus nods enthusiastically and pats Chazz on the shoulder. "She'll totally be happy! Don't worry, as long as you follow my advice, you'll win her hea-"

"Shut your mouth!" Chazz leans out of Atticus' reach, flailing and trying to hide his growing blush. "I'm just- just tryna cheer her up! There's nothing more to it!"

Alexis sighed as her brother continued teasing Chazz. She fluttered around the food table, rearranging the decorative plates. Across from her, Miss Dorothy was placing a new batch of cookies down; the older woman glanced at the bickering boys and smiled. Alexis caught her gaze and smiled back.

"Chazz is so obvious," she giggled.

"It's so cute," Dorothy nodded, "and I'm rooting for him." She watched Chazz fondly as he floundered.

At the sound of footsteps in the hallway, Chazz froze; his breath quickened, his heart slamming against his ribcage as the door slammed open.

Jaden shoved you into the room, laughing and grinning. "I got 'er, Chazz!" Syrus stumbled into the room after you, panting.

It was almost too much to comprehend at once; the room was typically a staff room, but had clearly been commandeered. A plastic Christmas tree had been set up in front of the large glass windows and decorated hastily; Alexis and Miss Dorothy stood in front of an adorable display of snacks, waving and smiling at you like they knew something you didn't; Atticus, with his arm tightly around Chazz's shoulders, waved at you as Jaden and Syrus rushed past to pester Zane, seated on the couch. Faint music echoed through the decorated room.

Chazz was pushed forward, stumbling to a stop in front of you, his face red even in the dim, atmospheric light. Suddenly and conveniently, all your friends have turned away and begun chattering, clinking plates and glasses, making as much noise as possible.

Chazz shoves his hands in his pockets and hesitantly looks at you. "Uh, merry Christmas, [Name]. You seemed kinda sad the other day, so I-" his voice faltered. When he finally met your eyes, he was mildly alarmed to see them brimming with tears despite your smile.

"You're the sweetest man I've ever met, Chazz." You wipe at your eyes and take a quick step forward, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist; Chazz stiffens under your touch, his calloused hands hovering over your smaller form as if he was afraid he'd break you.

Over your shoulder, your friends are waving frantically, making all sorts of faces, trying their damndest to get Chazz to respond in kind to you. Eventually Chazz's large, warm hands land on your back, and he pulls you up against his chest, burying his face in your neck. His breath is warm across your skin and you have to fight to suppress your shudder.

Eventually Chazz practically rockets out of your grip, his face almost glowing, it's such a bright red. Your friends- who had definitely stopped to stare- aggressively turned back to their distractions, giving Chazz more time with you. He awkwardly motions to the tree.

Perched among the plastic bristles is an envelope. Your name is scribbled across it in Chazz's sharp handwriting; he won't meet your eyes when you look back at him, so all you can do is pluck the envelope from the tree and open it carefully.

Inside sits a pair of tickets, laying on top of a printed sheet of paper. You glance back up at Chazz again. He shuffles awkwardly.

"I know it's kinda presumptuous, but I reserved some seats for us for dinner and a show over summer break." He shrugs. "I hope you'll still wanna-"

"Chazz," you break in, "of course I'll still want to see you over the summer! God, this is," you glance around the room again, your smile brightening even further. "This is so sweet of you. I really appreciate it. I wish I'd known, so I could do something for you too-"

Chazz shakes his head at you, his hand cautiously straying out to grab yours, intertwining your fingers and playing with them absently. "I like being able to do things like this for," his voice drops to a whisper and he steps so much closer, "someone so important to me."

He leans down slowly, eyes searching your face; you hold his gaze, stretching up on your toes to get closer.

Maybe it's the fact that you're not alone together, maybe it's his insecurities, but at the last moment he just wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for another hug.

You just bury your face in his chest, listening to his heartbeat as the snow falls outside.

[pocket-luv101]

@jadelop here’s the second part of your request

LawLicht {13: “I lost our baby”} Fem Licht

“Uncle Neko!” Lucy cheered when she saw her favourite uncle. She raced across the room to him. Kuro was sleeping on the couch so he couldn’t defend himself when his niece jumped onto his stomach. He groaned in pain as he opened his eyes reluctantly. The four year old was smiling down at him and speaking a mile a minute. “Wake up, Uncle! I wanna play!”

“Play time!” Machi left Mahiru’s side and ran out of the room to play with them. She was a little younger than Lucy but they were close and got along well. Kuro couldn’t sit up with the two little girls jumping on his back. He faced many enemies in his life but he was defenceless against them. He was relieved when his brother saved him. Hyde lifted Lucy off him and into his arms.

“You’re going to hurt your uncle, Lucy.” He knew that people were easily overwhelmed with her energy and enthusiasm. He ruffled his daughter’s hair and she puffed her cheeks. She hated being treated like a child and tried to mess up his hair in revenge. He didn’t mind and merely chuckled before he turned to Kuro. “Sorry she interrupted your nap, Nii-san.”

“It’s fine.” Kuro shook his head with a smile. Even though children were tiring, he was glad that they were happy and full of energy. He wanted his family to have a warm childhood that was better than his. Their smiles told him that he was doing a good job as a parent.

“Welcome to Japan, Auntie.” Machi said politely and waved at Licht. She picked up her niece to give her a hug. It had been a long time since they last visited Mahiru and Kuro. After Lucy was born, they returned to her home in Austria to give her a normal childhood. Of course, they tended to spoil Lucy more than other children. Hyde would visit his family as often as he could so Lucy could know her extended family.

She placed Machi on the ground again and the little girl immediately skipped to her cousin to play with the toys littering the floor. Licht was glad that the girls got along and were speaking like friends who knew each other for years. She turned away from them and asked Kuro, “Where’s Mahiru?”

“I’m here!” Mahiru came out of her room with a large smile. She was struggling with her jacket as she rushed to get ready. “I hope you had a nice plane ride. Just give me a minute to get ready and then we can head out. Machi decided to decorate my earlier outfit with a juice stain.”

The Todoroki family was going to stay with them for the weekend. For the first day, Licht wanted to relax, hang out with her best friend and catch up. She knelt next to Lucy and told her. “Mom is going out for a bit but I’ll be back right away. Have fun with Machi and Uncle Neko and make sure your father doesn’t misbehave. Be a good angel while I’m gone.”

“I wanna go, Mom!” Lucy gripped her shirt and looked at her with large, pleading eyes. She learned the technique from her father and she knew that her mother was weak against it. “Please take me and Machi with you. We can go to the park and play.”

“You can’t go, Lucy.” Hyde could see how much Licht wanted to say yes to their daughter. But he also knew that it had been a long time since she had a day to herself. He patted Lucy’s blond hair and whispered secretively, “Mom and your aunt is going on a super secret angel mission. You’re still an angel in training so it’s too dangerous for you to go with her. You need to stay home and protect the house.”

“Okay!” She believed every word he told her and nodded. Then Lucy beamed to her mother. “When I become a grown angel, I wanna go purify the world with you.”

“You’re already my precious little angel.” Licht kissed her goodbye.

“Do I get a kiss too?” Hyde smiled suggestively at her and she rolled her eyes. But she did give him a quick peck. There was a slight tinge if pink on her cheeks as she left. He watched her leave until she was out of the room. He still enjoyed teasing her after years of being together. She only became more captivating the longer they stay together.

He looked down at his daughter who appeared a little lonely after being left behind. Lucy was closest with Licht and they rarely spend time apart. He wanted to cheer her up so he searched for a toy she would like. His eyes fell onto a photo resting on a shelf and said. “I remember this. Hey, Lucy, check this out! It’s a photo of your mom in full angel mode.”

Hyde took the photo from the shelf and handed it to his daughter. It was a picture they took at a piano contest. Licht stood in the center with an elaborate trophy in her hands. To Hyde, the most beautiful thing about the photograph was her smile. He knew the reason behind her proud smile wasn’t the trophy. It was the friends surrounding her and congratulating her that made her grin so wide.

“Mom was only nineteen when we took this picture. She was the youngest person in the competition but she still took first place. As expected of an angel though. She can do anything once she puts her mind to it. She really shined on stage. Maybe we can find a video of the competition and watch it.” He suggested and she nodded eagerly. Hyde stood and went to their suitcases to get his laptop.

Kuro looked over her shoulder and saw the photo she was holding. “That’s a really old picture. She was pretty talented back then. It’s a shame she gave up playing the piano.”

“I’m back!” Hyde interrupted and sat between them with his laptop.

“That was a great movie. It would’ve been better if the hero was an angel rather than a man dressed as a bat. Hugh would probably love it though.” Licht said. Mahiru nodded in agreement and laughed lightly. They both had a great time together. Behind them, Gil followed them while struggling to carry the many toys and books Licht bought Lucy and Machi while they walked through the mall.

“Everyone is coming to dinner tomorrow and they’re excited to see you again. That’s going to be a huge party. It’s been awhile since we all got together like this.” Mahiru unlocked the door and they walked into the apartment. No one came to greet them and she wondered if Kuro made them have an afternoon nap. She could hear the song of a piano flowing through the apartment.

They stepped into the living room where one of Licht’s old performance was playing. Mahiru smiled when she saw her family sleeping soundly in front of the tv. On the other hand, Licht began to panic and ran to Hyde’s side. She kicked him roughly to wake him up and yelled, “Where’s Lucy? If you lost our daughter, I am going to fucking murder you, Shit Rat!”

“What are you talking about, Angel Babe? Lucy’s right here.” Hyde patted the spot next to him where Lucy was sleeping before he fell asleep himself. She wasn’t there now and Hyde felt dread fall onto him. The house was quiet and he instinctively knew that she wasn’t in the apartment. “I lost our baby.”

“I go out for an hour and you lose our baby! Put your nose to the ground and find her. You can still find her by her scent, right?” Licht began to pace in front of him. “What if someone took her? How can someone break in without a purified demon noticing? We need to find her right away. She doesn’t know the area or anyone she can go to for help.”

“We’ll find her, Licht.” He stood and placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her from pacing. Hyde was worried as well because he knew that Lucy would never leave without telling him. He rubbed her arms reassuringly and she forced herself to relax. Panicking wouldn’t help them find Lucy. “I don’t think someone took her. There isn’t an unfamiliar scent in the apartment.”

“She wanted to go out with us so maybe that’s why she left.” Licht bit her lip and hated the thought that she was the reason her daughter was in danger. “I’ll call Misono and ask if Lily’s subclasses could help us find her. Mahiru, can you stay here in case she comes back? I need to go look for her.”

“Of course!” Mahiru nodded and Licht was already running out the door to find her daughter. She didn’t know where to start looking but she couldn’t sit still when her daughter was missing. She could hear frantic steps behind her and knew that it was likely Hyde. Licht didn’t slow down for him because her mind was focused on finding Lucy.

“Wait, Lichtan, she didn’t run that way!” His words made her stop. She turned back to him and hope entered her eyes. He took her hand and brought her to the staircase. Hyde opened heavy door and there was Lucy sitting on the stairs. Licht shoved him aside in her impatience and she called her name. She was glad that she hadn’t wander too far from the apartment.

Licht sank to her knees next Lucy and quickly looked for any injuries. Once she was certain her daughter was unharmed, Licht hugged her tightly. “Thank goodness, you’re safe, Lucy! I was scared to death. Did someone take you from the apartment? How did you get away from that evil man that took you? Is he still here? I’ll kill him for touching my little angel.”

Hyde knew that Licht wasn’t exaggerating either. He sat on the stairs next to them. “Let’s go back and you can tell us what happened.”

“… I was running away.” Lucy muttered and her face fell. No answer could surprise or hurt Licht more. She didn’t know how to respond to her daughter’s admission. They were a close family so she couldn’t guess why Lucy would run away. Hyde was shocked as well but he recovered quicker than Licht did.

“Why did you run away, Kiddo? Did we do something to upset you? Mom and Dad are very sorry so will you come back home?” Hyde asked softly. She shook her head frantically and tears entered her eyes. He lifted her into a hug when he saw her cry. “Everything’s going to be okay, Lucy. We love you so much.”

“I love Mom and Dad too!” Lucy wailed as more tears fell. That only made her parents more confused. Licht ran her hand over Lucy’s hair to ease her tears. She let go of Hyde and held out her arms to her mother. Licht placed her on her lap readily. “I’m sorry Mommy. You had to stop being an angel because of me. You don’t play your piano for a big crowd anymore.”

“What do you mean? Your mom is an angel and I still play the piano every day.” Licht took Hyde’s scarf and used it to wipe her tears away. “I have the dream of playing my piano for the world and I haven’t given up it. Mom just found another dream. My newest dream is to raise a little angel into a strong woman. Once I accomplish that, I will resume my career as a pianist.”

“You don’t hate me for making you stop.” Lucy remembered watching the performances and how happy her mother looked while she played.

“We can never hate you.” Licht kissed the top of her head. “You and Dad are my dream come true.”

I think Hyde and Licht will spoil their little girl.

[Drabble Challenge]

[autumnrory]

godddd a while back my mom wanted photo albums for my siblings’ wedding photos and pictures of the kids and all that and i helped her order three which i didn’t really think about, just like, oh an extra or whatever but she asked me tonight if i had a preference on which color was for me “for when you have adult pictures” and it’s hard enough thinking about how my siblings followed normal paths - getting jobs, moving out, getting married - and my brain is too broken for anything and when she’s said things like that before it’s like “girl! we’re nowhere near that!” like it’s only in the last year i started even doing some minor adult things that most people would have done several years ago and like hellooooo i’ve never had a job i’ve gotten on my own, i haven’t even done an interview since college and they were horrible which is WHY i can’t deal with them

AND even if i did end up having those same things which like, i am very doubtful about ever having a relationship because of said broken brain and whatnot BUT like idk i’m really iffy about having a Real Wedding unless i was with someone who truly cared about it because it’s so much work and expensive and you have to deal with all these people on a day that’s supposed to be for you and your partner like my introverted self does not want that i get that it’s supposed to be celebrating with loved ones but honestly i would just be like i am inviting my parents and siblings and THEIR families and all my friends and no one else like you can do whatever you want with who you invite but even for the extended family i like it’s like ugh why - but then that gets complicated because i have a godson and i love him and his siblings dearly and i get along well with his parents and my other cousin on my mom’s side but it would look unfair to invite people on my mom’s side and not my dad’s plus...aunts and uncles on my mom’s side that could be irritants even if i have more of a relationship with them than anyone on my dad’s side so...i wouldn’t want to deal with all those people. much as i romanticize the pretty dress and whatnot it’s like oh my god how horrifying to have people staring at you and listening to you in something so personal and intimate, i would rather just elope or go to city hall or whatever

and i have said for several years that i Do Not want kids and in giving it more thought the last year or two in which i also romanticize THAT concept, i’m still very aware that it is not something i could do mentally - even physically like oh my god people who push out babies you are so brave -  like in part fear of fucking up a kid the way i have been fucked up lmao like it’s inevitable you’re gonna get things wrong but i just don’t wanna put my shit on a kid AND i mean it sucks up your time and energy. i fucking love the kids in my life so so so much they’re so wonderful and sweet and funny and i would lay down my life for them but i do not want to parent them or anyone, really. like i recognize that there are so many wonderful aspects to being a parent but to be a good one you have to do so much that most people AREN’T willing to do, but they have kids anyway and in turn...get A Lot wrong and i simply do not want to bring any harm to a child because of my own problems

anyway the point is i’m just like girl you’ve got an empty album there. that’s what it’s gonna be. you want some outfit selfies from my instagram? because dressing cute is the only thing i’ll ever really be capable of lmao i’ve got NOTHING going for me and i don’t see that changing, even if it does, it won’t be anytime soon and there won’t be photographs for it.

[wannawrite]

Wanna One As People At Your Christmas Party

• part of the collab with my girlies

• posted very very late, apologies and this is 110% crack

Yoon Jisung: host and the one who is in charge of the food. constantly yelling his greetings from the kitchen because Susan fcked up and bought a cold turkey instead of the heated kind. Put a lot of effort into arranging the buffet table and even bought a $58.99 limited edition tablecloth to ‘spice things up’. Will yell at you if you turn up with unseasoned food - everyone will. His presents are always high-quality DIY things and wrapped with love - ribbons, stickers and a handmade card. Makes a praiseworthy Christmas pudding. His casserole is the only one that won’t end up in the trash or thrown out by the kids. Will fight you if you talk bad about his cooking or his party. Once stayed up two nights just to perfect the batter for his Christmas log cake.

Ha Sungwoon: gossip uncle/aunt, he knows everything about everyone. A sly savage/mean. ‘Oh, Anna, I heard your daughter ran away from home because you wouldn’t let her date that junkie of a boyfriend she has, pity. Hope to see her soon.’ *saunters away with a wine glass in hand* in charge of bringing the wine and alcohol every year. ‘Sungwoon sweetie, isn’t that your fourth glass?’ ‘Ahh, Patricia, is that your fifth husband?’ Is drunk and has to be driven home but he remembers the whole night in detail and will tell stories about it. Buys a PS4 for your brother but a pair of Daiso socks for you because it was last minute when he remembered you existed. Stirs up a mean cocktail but will only offer it to Minhyun or Jisung. Orders more food when they seem to be running low - he has a knack for knowing things like that.

Hwang Minhyun: the uncle who you didn’t know about until 2 days before the party. Single. Quiet, drinks his beer in a corner. Only talks to his brother and close cousins. Stays close to Jaehwan and Sungwoon. Dresses extremely well, a chaebol and always has a colour scheme. After a couple of drinks, he’s hogging the karaoke machine and belting out 80s bops. A rich uncle who gifts unnecessarily expensive gifts. ‘Uncle Minhyun...you do realise that the Gucci sneakers you gave me are-.’ ‘Shush, accept it.’ He spoils all the young kids because he doesn’t have any of his own. Gifts each one baby Yeezys.

Ong Seongwoo: the fun young uncle everyone loves to see. The kids love him and dash to greet him immediately because they know he’ll play with them all night. More like a brother than an uncle. He and his girlfriend/boyfriend always rival Minhyun for the title of ‘best-dressed’. They always coordinate their outfits. It’s cute. A fun uncle who plays pool with you and won’t tell your parents if you pick up a can of alcohol. The uncle you can rely on if you’re dead drunk. Allows you to eat more even when you’re dieting. Will follow your wish list exactly so you always expect to receive it from him. He makes ramen even after walloping his share of the buffet. Offers to add chicken and beer to Sungwoon’s FoodPanda/UberEats delivery. ‘Pepperoni pizza sounds good too.’

Kim Jaehwan: strange uncle but very talented so he leads everyone in carolling or praise and worship. The conductor of the church choir so he brings his skills to the living room. ‘A 5,6..a 5,6,7..8! Jingle bells, jingle bells - TIMMY! YOUR NOTE IS TOO AIRY LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN.’ Gossips to Uncle Sungwoon a lot. ‘Listen, I heard Martha fought with Grand aunt Ellen over a fcking curtain.’ Will talk to you about random or embarrassing things - probably in front of your parents. ‘Hey, I heard you got a tattoo on your underwear line, did it hurt?’ Unintentionally. Says he’s full after one plate of the buffet but hogs the snack table. ‘Is there any more salsa?’ You love him. Gifts really random but useful things such as mall vouchers. Like it’s a standardised gift for the nieces and nephews of this age.

Kang Daniel: cousin you just got out of his National Service and tells everyone war stories about it. Pats you on the back every time he sees you. He’s just glad he made it out of army alive and that his electric fly swatter didn’t get taken away from him. Host number 2 but no matter the location, he makes sure to bring his beloved cats along. The kids throw a fanfare when they spot Daniel taking his pet carriers out of his backseat. Also takes care of bringing games, be it board games, computer games, he’s got them all. Provides snacks. If he got the job of feeding his baby nieces and nephews, he’ll tempt them with jellies. ‘If you finish this now, I promise I’ll give you a gummy bear later and won’t tel your mother.’ A professional at ‘Just Dance’.

Park Jihoon: the hot cousin who is responsible for organising this whole event. Surprisingly good at his job. Got the colour scheme, games, presents, food and activities all in check in a week. Greets everyone with a hug. His Christmas outfit is rather questionable though....but moving on! The whole family swoons at his good looks and everyone throws a huge fuss when he says he’s single. Jihoon Instagrams and Snapchats the entire party the whole night so the world knows that the Park family Christmas is LIT. Only allows award-winning songs/artists to be played. Gets very competitive when Daniel wants to play ‘Just Dance’. - there’s fury in his eyes. Yet he’ll get all shy and blush when a small cousin asks him about kisses and mistletoe. If the family plays ‘Murderer’, they’ll have a hard time because all Jihoon does is wink.

Park Woojin: oh gosh. the awkward cousin who came back from studying abroad and has an accent. Everyone thinks he’s faking it because uhh how does your accent change in just 5 months ? Only talks to Jihoon and is almost quieter than Minhyun. That’s until he’s warmed up and now you can hear him screaming as he’s playing tag with the kids. ‘HELP SOMEONE SAVE ME.’ Is surprisingly good at playing pool and ‘Just Dance’. Daniel’s spot as dance king is suddenly heavily threatened. A sweetheart who compliments everyone on their effort and Jisung is practically glowing from the praise his turkey received. Engages everyone with story time of his studies abroad. ‘Oh...we don’t have that over there but we have...’ that sort of thing. Smiles really brightly for pictures and when giving out gifts it gives people heart attacks

Bae Jinyoung: the cute but super shy friend of your cousin who tagged along for the party. Hides in the kitchen or pretends to be getting something from the table every time you try to talk to him. A total cinnamon roll - will help you take food or get more drinks if you mindlessly complain about that to your aunt. Keeps stuffing his face with cookies so that he doesn’t have to talk. Too shy to volunteer to play ‘Just Dance’ but your cousin pushes him up there anyway. EVERYONE WAS SHOOKT HE IS SO TALENTED. Also received recognition for his good looks. ‘So,,,Jinyoung right? I have a child around your age, would you be interested?’. Everyone wanted to become his friend. Blushes easily, especially when you bumped into him under the mistletoe, poor boy ran for his dear life. Spends most of the night with Daniel’s cats.

Lee Daehwi: the nephew who decorated Jisung’s house for this occasion. Put effort into making everyone an ugly Christmas sweater. Each and every year, gifts from him are packaged differently. Has a crush on Jinyoung. Over enthusiastic, he arrived at Jisung’s house at 10am to ‘get ready’. Becomes super happy and cheerful while decorating. Stole a couple of cookies from the jar before the party even began. Unfortunately, he gets flustered and upset when no one pays attention to his obvious Christmas joy...or when he’s too short to reach the top of the Christmas tree to pin the star. How cute. Has a different prop for each carol he sings. Acts more of a host than Jisung is and never forgets to give a cuddle to the cats, he even slips them bits of turkey or ham. Takes this opportunity to catch up with all his extended family and see if anyone has connections to the party planning world.

Lai Guanlin: your youngest ‘tween’ cousin who regrets coming. Anti-social, only answers questions and talks to the elders out of respect. On his phone the whole time, probably Tweeting about how much he doesn’t want to be here. ‘Mum,,,can we go yet?’ He’s only here for the food and presents. Wore all black even though Daehwi and Jihoon cleared stated that this year’s colour theme was GOLD. Cheers up a little after feasting but he won’t indulge in conversation immediately. Likes to secretly tune into Jaehwan’s and Sungwoon’s gossip. Watches Minhyun’s Kdrama behind his back and observes how cuddly Ongniel gets. Jihoon refuses to let him be the DJ or choose the Christmas movie and it’ll stay like that for a long time. He only gets soft and cute when Daniel’s cats are around. Most likely to get the most expensive gift from Minhyun.

[maxattack-powell]

Winter Break - Moving On

*This is an original fic that fits in between Winter Break - Going Home and Book 2/Chapter 1 (1-17d in my masterlist)***

Masterlist - go here for other chapters and related original fics

Disclaimer: The following are fics (adaptations from actual game chapters AND original works) to Choices: The Freshman and The Sophomore stories. It is a fictional adaptation. I do not work for Pixelberry Studios, the game developer or own the rights to the characters Chris Powell, Nicole or any other IN GAME character. All of the ORIGINAL characters, story-lines and events were developed for my adaptation of The Freshman story.

Comments: I enjoyed playing Choices The Freshman… and then I found this awesome group of people and their works - I’ve loved it all, very much so. Deciding that I wanted more interaction than the options allowed, I’ve gone through the first book, chapter by chapter (omg painfully slow) to follow the story (95-99% I’d say) and add to it as I felt would benefit. Now I am doing the same to Book 2 as well.

Basically, I wanted to include certain things that weren’t really full fic worthy, adding more substance to the story. However, I did add some full size fic moments also… some are included in cannon chapters and some are their own full chapters in between. I wanted to see MC and Chris through their freshman year… with more angst, fluff, sweetness, real life and overall detail. So, if you like that pairing then you’ll be satisfied, otherwise sorry James & Kaitlyn fans lol. I even added some parts from Chris’s POV, so that we have a chance to see what he’s thinking, knowing what she experienced.

There will be ADULT and/or NSFW moments in certain chapters - this is a warning lol. I will try my best to make it obvious as it occurs…

Paring: MC x Chris

POV: ~MC~ or ~Chris~

~MC~

MC has been at home for a few days now, and she’s enjoyed just about every minute of it. She’s been spending time with her parents, her lovely dog Max and her extended family such as her crazy Uncle Mike and his family. She loves her cousins. The oldest is 8 years younger than her, and the rest taper down from there. This means they tend to follow her around with wide eyes of adoration. What she loves about them is how much fun they are, how she can lose herself while she plays with them, once again experiencing her childhood through their eyes.

Today is Christmas Eve Eve and her uncles bookstore is actually quite busy for once. She spends most of the day running around pulling books for customers who can’t find it themselves or are in too much of a hurry to attempt it. The typical panicked holiday shopping customer.

In her limited moments of peace she can’t help but think of Chris. They have been in contact everyday since they parted ways at Hartfeld. Some days the interactions were brief, each having limited time to send a text or pic of some kind. Other days they spent hours together, either on a normal phone call or through FaceTime. They did it all, whatever style fit their situation best at the time.

One thing was always the same though. Every day, every single day, they sent or said to each other the same good-morning and goodnight messages. Chris had started calling her ‘beautiful’ in these messages too, increasing the butterflies in her stomach with each one. He had mentioned before, much earlier in the fall quarter, that he was falling for her. She still tries to push the memories away of that time in between, but he had come back in the end. Telling her the same thing again. Now she was wondering if she was falling hard for him in return.

MC had always felt a certain connection with him, she never denied that. But it was something new and much stronger than anything she had experienced before, even with Peter. She thought at one time that Peter was the one for her, but one day something just felt off. Even though he was the most attentive and loving person she had ever met. He had never done anything to make her feel otherwise, but it happened anyway.

Sure, she still found him attractive, but who wouldn’t. His looks rivaled Chris’s in almost every way though unique in his own. He was as tall, muscular and fit. Peter had a very handsome face with a strong jaw. It was just different. Most importantly, being with him never give her the same feelings that she has experienced with Chris. The electricity that is always pulsing between the two of them, in every touch, in every look. It was addictive, and she was starting to miss it during the long break.

Late afternoon, her uncle told her that she could go home, noticing that the activity was starting to slow around the store. She gave him a hug and said goodbye and climbed in her little truck and to go home. It was sometime after 3 p.m. and she didn’t have any plans until later so she decided to send Chris a quick message.

‘Hey, cannon. Not killing the fresh meat are you?’

It didn’t take long for her to receive a response. ‘Cannon? And no, not yet. Some are acting like it though.’

She laughs and sends him one back. ‘Yeah, isn’t that what they installed when they removed your right arm when you were a kid?’

‘Lol. Riiiiight.’

‘What, you don’t like that one? Hmm. I’ll have to think up a better nickname…’

‘we’re doing nicknames now?’

‘Yeah, you started it.’

‘I did?’

‘Yep. You say it at least twice a day.’

‘I do? ooh you mean beautiful?’

‘Uh, yeah… that wasn’t a nickname?’

‘I was just stating a fact but I’ll gladly make it more permanent ;)’

She drops her phone into her lap and covers her face, feeling the embarrassment creep up her neck. “Oh my god. What did I just do…”

When she doesn’t reply, she receives another message. ‘or… not?’

She quickly scrambles to reply, ‘No, wait.’

She takes a deep breath and sends another, ‘Sorry, you just made my face very red.’

‘really? I wanna see’

‘What! Why?’ She looks at her phone incredulously as she sends the text.

‘I’m not there to see it myself’

She sighs, then grins, before covering her eyes with her arm and taking a picture. She sends it without even looking at it.

~Chris~

Chris glances away from his phone while he waits. Looking at the activity nearby, he watches as the players run their drills up and down the field. He glances towards Ryan and Ethan, nodding to them so they can stop the guys and give them a break. When coach told him how many new players he had this year, Chris insisted his friends help. Easier to divide and conquer the large number of bodies on the field. His friends didn’t object when Chris asked for their help, both okay with the idea of hanging out more over break as well.

He turns and takes a few steps away, pulling up the text he receives. When he looks at the picture he can’t help but smile. Her cheeks are red and she’s biting her bottom lip, clearly embarrassed while her eyes are covered with her arm. Her hair is pulled into a loose bun on top of her head, some strands falling around her face haphazardly.

He chuckles and sends her a text back. ‘Where are my beautiful eyes…’

‘Hiding.’

He laughs and glances at the group a few feet away, knowing he needs to get back to work. ‘Can I see them later?’

‘Maybe.’

‘Maybe? Don’t tease me’

‘What if I want to…’

He laughs out loud. ‘Wait until I can do something about it. Play fair.’ He sends the text, knowing that he’s now the one teasing her, but he can’t resist.

~MC~

Her face is still hot when his next text comes through. “Oh my god…” She immediately blushes a deeper red as she reads it. She starts laughing and shakes her head as she types a response. ‘Okay. FaceTime me before bed?’

‘Can’t wait.’

She grins and puts down her phone before starting her truck and heading home. Halfway there, she decides to stop at her friend Gina’s house to see what she’s doing. MC pulls up to the house and shoots her a quick text, confirming that she was home. Gina replies, telling her that she and B are both there, and she should hurry up and join them.

When she gets inside, MC waves to Gina’s parents. They smile and her mother runs over to give her a hug. The pair feels more like an aunt and uncle than her friends parents. Even though they only met in high-school, MC and Gina had become close friends, like sisters. The same goes for B, the three of them have been very close since she moved to town. She really did miss them during the quarter, but was also happy for their wonderful luck getting into good schools.

Gina had been accepted to Harvard University and was doing extremely well there. MC knew she was going to become a doctor in no time. B had a more artistic side and applied to NYU. She was easily accepted after they saw the talent in her portfolio. She’s happy for them both, and now that they had started adjusting to their new worlds, the three were making plans to see each other as much as possible. Thankfully their colleges were all fairly close to each other, unlike some of their other friends who were scattered all over the south and some as far as out west. Each were close enough to drive within a few hours. MC just needs to figure out how to get some wheels to Hartfeld.

She hugs them both when she makes it down the basement stairs. They trio hang out together for a while, catching up on just about everything. There was so much to share between the three of them and they were having fun doing it.

At one point B looks at MC and raises her eyebrow. “So… Peter seemed interested in you the other night.”

MC glances between them both, noticing their curious stares. “Uh, yeah. He asked me out… actually.”

“Really?” Gina leans closer. MC knew she had always thought Peter was a good match for her. “What did you say?”

“I told him I was seeing someone…” MC makes a face at her sentence, again feeling like she didn’t really have the right to say that.

“What?!” Both Gina and B say in unison.

“Yeah, there’s this guy from Hartfeld…” She looks at them, and they just stare back, eyes wide, waiting. “He’s a quarterback. The quarterback, actually.”

B’s face lights up and she sits up straighter. “And..?!”

“Um, his name is Chris.” She looks down and picks at the hem of her shirt.

“Aaaand…?” Gina joins the interrogation.

“And…” She keeps her gaze on her shirt. “I like him. A lot.”

“More than you did with Peter?” Gina questions.

“Yeah, way… way more.” She looks at them both. “Remember how I thought Peter was the one junior year?” Her friends nod. “I had no idea how it could really be.”

Her two friends smile and give matching blissful sighs.

MC snorts out a laugh and shakes her head. “Oh come on guys…”

“What? This is amazing… I thought after you split from Peter that it would be years before you found someone. Like maybe even after college.” B exclaims.

“We’re not actually, uh, together though. I don’t think…” She grimaces at her own statement.

Gina frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Well, we went to formal together… but there was a lot of stuff before that. I mean, he says he’s falling for me, but I just don’t know…” MC fades.

B shakes her head and grabs MCs hand. “You’re a smart one. Your heart knows what’s real and what isn’t. Just listen to it.”

Gina smiles next to her, nodding her head enthusiastically.

MC can’t help but smile at them both. “Funny, my friend Zack says the same thing.”

They become curious at her mention of Zack, so she tells them about her roommates. MC describes them in detail, telling them she wishes they can meet someday because she knows Gina and B would love them too. She gushes about Zack and Kaitlyn, her two best friends at Hartfeld. She complains about Professor Vasquez and her financial restrictions that are holding her hostage. And lastly, she babbles about Chris… how he makes her feel, the things he’s been saying and sending over the last few days of break, almost everything.

Her friends tell her more about their experiences as well, everyone becoming slightly wistful as they realize how different their lives are becoming. The three eventually make plans to go out later to meet some friends at a local pool hall they used to sneak to when they were younger.

~Chris~

Chris swings by and picks up Ryan and Ethan before heading out to their friend’s house for the night. Everyone had gone home earlier to get cleaned up after their long day with the fresh batch of football players. Now they were ready to spend the evening at their friend Alex’s house. He was throwing a party as his parents were visiting some family out of state for the holidays, and he had the house to himself.

They pull up and notice quite a lot of cars already there, more than likely all of their friends from the small town. As they go inside, the infamous trio are immediately bombarded by all their old friends and teammates. Some had come home from the holidays, others had never left, but all were glad to be back together again, even if it was just for one night.

The three friends mix and mingle throughout the house. Sometimes one would split off and go talk to another friend for a few minutes, but they always gravitate back together. This is partially because they are inseparable and enjoyed each other’s company above all others. But it is also a matter of safety in numbers.

Ethan has a girlfriend, so he is not at all interested in any of the girls near Cherryfield, even though many had expressed obvious interest in him. Ryan is single but he has no desire to hook up with any of his ex’s or their friends, and being a small town, that’s just about all there is at this point for him. While Chris and Ethan have been joking on Ryan about that exact thing, Chris honestly can’t agree with him more.

He now knows Nicole is in town, as she had found him the other night when they were at the pub. Ryan and Ethan did now too of course, and being the good brothers that they are, they have been keeping an eye out for her whenever the three are together. The trio wants nothing to do with her. What she did to Chris not only tore him apart, but it threatened his future. It threatened all of their futures actually.

Chris breaks from his friends and heads to the kitchen to grab a few beers from the fridge. Alex’s house has a huge living room and den, so most of their friends are in there, leaving the kitchen empty at the moment. He reaches in and grabs a few requested bottles and turns to head back. He doesn’t take a second step though, freezing in place as his eyes fall on the brunette in front of him. He quickly closes his eyes and clenches his jaw, this being the one thing he was trying to avoid.

“Chris?” She tilts her head and waits for him to acknowledge her.

He takes in a deep breath and opens his eyes, looking into her bright blue ones. “Hey, Nicole. What up?”

Chris tries to step past her and head back to the group, but she shifts in front of him, blocking his easy way out. He clenches his jaw again, this time breathing out of his nose forcefully. “What are you doing Nicole?”

She gives him a sweet smile, a smile that used to warm him throughout. “I just wanted to talk. You didn’t give me a chance the other night…”

He sets the bottles down on the counter, realizing she’s not going to let him pass anytime soon. “That’s because there is nothing to talk about. You made your decision back then, and things changed. It’s in the past and I don’t want to talk about it.”

She takes a step closer, forcing him to take a step back to avoid her. “I made a mistake.” She tries to reach for him, but he shifts so her hand falls off his chest. “I’ve missed you, Chris.”

Chris shakes his head, his expression turning dark, angry. “No, Nicole. You don’t get to do this.” He looks into her eyes with intense fire. “You crushed me. You dropped a bomb on me and watched for months as my world imploded.”

She reaches for him. “I’m sorry, I can make it better. Just let me–”

He moves out of her reach again, his eyes angry as he stares through her. “No. I told you the other night to leave me alone.” He shakes his head at her. “I’m finally happy, Nicole. Like really happy. It took me a while, but I found my place and I found someone amazing to spend my time with.”

Nicole frowns as he speaks, finally getting the point. “But you said you loved me…”

Chris lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, so did you, to me. And at the time I believed you. I thought that’s what it was.”

He looks up at her and shakes his head. “But I was wrong. In these last few months I’ve felt something about someone. It’s something that I’ve never felt before, and I like it. I’m going to do whatever I have to in order to keep it.”

He reaches past her and grabs the bottles off the counter. “And that means never speaking to you again. I won’t risk it, I’m sorry.” He looks at her with a sad expression, seeing her face fall with his words.

Chris moves around her and cuts through the living room to join his friends in the den. Ryan and Ethan immediately pick up on his mood and walk over, taking the bottles when he offers, his expression still somewhat dark and brooding.

Ryan studies Chris’s face as Ethan looks past him, towards the kitchen where Chris just came from. It doesn’t take long for the redhead to see Nicole. “Hell.”

Ryan then leans to peer around Chris as well. “When the hell did she get here? I’ve been watching the door all night.” His face contorts into an ugly scowl, shooting Nicole a deadly glare.

Chris lets out a strained laugh and pats Ryan on the shoulder, trying to reel him in. “It’s okay you guys. She cornered me but I took care of it.”

Ethan looks at him for a moment, then glances back over to Nicole, seeing her try not to be obvious as she watches them. “Hey, let’s go outside for a few. It’s not in the negatives yet, so we should be able to last a few minutes.”

Ryan nods and turns towards the door. “Yeah, we could use some fresh air.”

Chris smiles and looks down as he starts walking behind Ryan, Ethan pulling up the rear. The three grab their jackets and slip out onto the back deck. A few others were outside already, but they quickly head back in, unable to handle the cold any longer.

Ryan paces back and forth slowly in front of Chris and Ethan as they lean against the railing, facing towards the house. Occasionally Ryan looks inside, keeping tabs on Nicole's location.

Chris knows what he’s doing and lets out a light chuckle. “Ryan, chill man. It’s fine.”

He stops pacing and crosses his arms as he snorts in disagreement. “Oh it will be.”

Ethan shakes his head with a slight smirk on his lips. “Seriously Ryan, he said he took care of it.”

Ryan looks back and forth between the two for a moment, then sighs. His tense shoulders finally relaxing a little. “Okay, okay.”

Chris shifts uncomfortably, suddenly realizing how much Nicole affected them as well. “I’m really sorry you guys. I almost let everything crash and burn last year. I never really apologized for it.”

Ethan and Ryan shake their heads simultaneously as Ethan speaks. “You don’t have to say anything man. We understand, and it all worked out fine.”

Chris nods and remains silent as he clasps Ethan on the shoulder, giving him a firm squeeze. Ethan raises his opposite hand and pats Chris’s hand as it rests on his shoulder.

Ryan walks over and leans against the railing on Chris’s other side, giving him a playful elbow to the ribs, catching him off guard and causing him to gasp. “Ooof!”

When Chris turns to look at Ryan he sees his friend smirking back. As he stands from his spot on the railing, he lightly backhands his friend in the crotch as if it was nothing. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Ethan and Chris walk forward, laughing as Ryan folds over in mild pain. “I should have seen that coming…” He groans and sucks in a few breaths, forcing himself to stand up straight.

He lets out a strained chuckle as he takes a few awkward steps, eventually joining the other two. “Let’s not start that game again. I just realized that I’m too old to play.”

The trio laughs and heads around the side of the house, avoiding going inside all together. They drive around for a while before Chris drops them off and heads home himself. When he gets there he finds his mother, brother and sister in the living room watching the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer special on TV. He smiles and checks the time before hanging his jacket up. It isn’t too late, which means there is time to join them before he calls MC. It didn’t take long for his siblings to fall asleep, his brother leaning on his right side and his sister curled up against his left.

His mother gets up and turns the TV off before she helps him escape both of his guards. He easily picks up his brother and carries him to his room, a little surprised at how big and heavy he is becoming. Chris smiles, realizing that his brother is growing up and he too would soon be in college and finding his own way. He goes back to pickup his sister, receiving a thank you from his mother as she kisses him on the cheek before she checks all the doors and heads to her own room.

Chris walks down the hall quietly and places his sister in bed, tucking her in and laying her hat on the nightstand. He looks at her for a moment, noticing how much more mature she looks since he was here last. A sad smile crosses his face for a moment as he thinks about his family. He realizes that life will never be the same, that they will only become more distant as they grow, each going their own way as they make choices for their own lives. His sad smile turns a little more positive as he thinks about all the things they will do, or that he will make sure they get to do. He brushes a strand of hair out of her face and quietly leaves for his own room.

Once inside his room, Chris locks the door and begins to change, stripping off the layers of clothing needed to stay warm in Maine. Once he gets to his boxer briefs he stops and stretches. He hasn’t worked out much since he’s been home, which makes him worry that he’s getting soft, knowing that he’s had a few too many MoonPies. He decides to do a few hundred push-ups, crunches and squats before laying in bed and contacting MC. He quickly decides that tomorrow morning he needs to go for a run before work.

He’s about to send a text when he remembers that he’s shirtless, and the last time he was, MC appeared to enjoy it. He smirks and takes a comical Snap of himself pouting as he lays on his bed with the caption ‘I’ve been stood up.’

Chris’s phone instantly lights up with a FaceTime call, making him grin. He does his best attempt at looking upset when he answers.

He clearly doesn’t fool her as the first thing he nears is a sarcastic snort. “Really?”

Chris laughs and looks at the screen, finding her eyes and that smirk he loves so much. “Ah, there they are.”

MC blushes and looks away for a moment, but he waits patiently for her gaze to return, eager to see her eyes.

When she does look back she laughs at his silly expression. “What’s that look for?”

He shrugs. “I guess I’m just happy to talk to you, to see your face again.”

“Is that what it is?” She gives him a questioning look.

“Yeah. It’s been a long day…” His smile wavers for a moment, but he hopes she doesn’t notice.

She frowns as she sees it, his hope instantly disappearing. “What happened? Is everyone okay?”

Chris picks up on her concern and feels a little guilty as he quickly reassures her. “Oh yeah, everyones fine. I just uh…” He pauses and looks away from the screen, trying to decide if he should bring up Nichole.

She senses his hesitation and speaks softly. “Chris..?”

He looks up and sees her eyes, beautiful hazel chocked full of concern. It makes him feel warm and secure. He immediately knows the answer. He’s going to tell her. He knows now, that no matter what, he will always tell her. “Yeah, sorry. I just… ran into Nicole again tonight.”

He sees MC tense a little on the other side, her expression cloudy. “Oh?”

He gives her a warm smile. “Don’t worry. Nothing happened.”

“I’m not–” She begins, but he cuts her off.

“I know. I just wanted to say it. For both of us.” He gives her a soft smile, making her relax and smile back. Just what he wanted to see.

“The guys and I were at a friends house party and she just… showed up. She wanted to talk to me, tried to tell me that she still loved me and wanted to be with me or something… I’m not exactly sure.” He shakes his head as he tries to recall her words.

“Honestly, I didn’t want to hear any of it and cut her off by saying a few choice words.” He grimaces as he remembers some of the blunt things he said. He searches MC’s face, trying to gauge her reaction.

She chews on her bottom lip for a moment, also searching his face. “But you’re okay?”

He lets out a sigh of relief, glad she believes him and isn’t concerned with Nicole. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Chris rolls onto his side and props his head up on his arm, leaning his phone against his blanket so he can get comfortable. “I feel like I should tell you what happened, my senior year I mean. So you know why I behaved the way I did.”

She searches his face again before she answers. “Okay, but you don’t have to Chris. I know it was rough on you. You don’t have to tell me anything else.” Her voice becomes softer and quieter as she watches his face.

He smiles at her again. “I know, but I want to. I’m not going to hide anything from you MC. I never will.” He clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “Oh man, where to start. Uh, you already know that we were together three years.”

MC nods and stays quiet so he can continue. “The summer before our senior year, Nicole decided to go to a different college. We had talked about it before, that no matter where we went, we would figure it out. We would make it work.”

He swallows hard as he remembers that night. “So she told me where she was going and I told her how happy I was for her, because it was a good school and it wasn’t too far from Hartfeld where I had received a football scholarship.”

He shifts on the bed, rolling onto his back and no longer looking at the phone, but he continues. “She waited until the middle of our football season to tell me that she wanted to be free when she got there. That she was no longer interested in a long distance relationship. It broke me. We had said ‘I love you’ to each other, and that there would never be anyone else.”

He turns his head slightly to look into MC’s eyes. She gives him a sweet smile in return, her eyes also covered with a layer of sadness. “But she left me hanging, in the middle of football season, during senior year. The fallout was bad. I almost lost my scholarship, and just about took my team down with me. Including Ryan and Ethan. We were the only three to receive scholarships for football, and I almost ruined it because I had lost focus and had just about given up.”

He laughs and turns away from the phone, looking up at his ceiling. “I know, I shouldn’t have let a stupid highschool relationship affect me that badly, but at the time it felt like the end of the world.”

Chris turns over and looks into the phone again, finding MC smiling gently at him. “It’s okay. You loved her. It’s understandable.”

He shakes his head. “That’s the thing. When I look back on those memories now, it’s different. It doesn’t hurt like it did before. Now everything is just… awkward when I see her or talk to her. I mean, I’m angry yes. But only because the whole thing almost ruined my friends future. My own future. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if they got stuck here because of my actions.”

He sits up and leans against his headboard, holding his phone in front of him as he continues. “I don’t feel the same way about her, at all. Actually, I’ve realized that what I thought I was feeling, what I thought was love… it wasn’t even close.”

MC frowns with confusion. “What do you mean? You said you loved her…”

He smiles. “Yeah well, I thought I did, until recently.” He quickly glances at her and then looks away, not ready to see her reaction if she picked up on it. “For the rest of our senior year, I was in hell. My family was worried, Ryan and Ethan were worried, my coach was worried. It was bad… I was always looking for some type of distraction. Did whatever it took to feel again.”

He shakes his head. “Ryan and Ethan made sure I didn’t go too far off the edge. But I just felt…numb. They helped me focus on football and my scholarship so I wouldn’t ruin everything. I spent a lot of time with my family, which of course made my mom happy from the sudden increase of time spent at home.”

He laughs when he remembers how ecstatic she had been, but he knew she was watching him too. “Luckily my brother and sister didn’t notice my erratic behavior too much.”

“Sounds like you have great family and friends.” MC gives him a warm smile.

He nods and grins back. “Yeah, they even liked me when I was a shell of a person.” His eyes become intense as he looks at hers. “And so did you, MC. When we met, I was still just a Chris shell…” He laughs quietly, almost sad.

She wrinkles her nose in the cutest way, making his smile grow. “You weren’t a shell. I could see you the whole time.”

He grins, his cheeks feeling warm. “You waited for me to come back. I know I almost made you wait too long, and I’m sorry… but you didn’t give up on me.” His brows clench together as he thinks back over the quarter. “Thank you for that.”

She nods at him, unable to speak at the moment. He notices that she looks torn, like she wants to say something but can’t. He quickly decides to change the subject, to focus on something a little more uplifting.

“So, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Are you excited?” He grins at her.

She rolls with it and laughs. “Yes, but I don’t think nearly as much as you are.”

He makes a humorous frown and nods. “You’re probably right. I uh, I had this idea but I haven’t had much practice yet so it’s probably going to be… bad.” He laughs at himself, obviously agreeing with his own statement.

“What is it?” She perks up, interested in the surprise.

“Ah, you’ll have to wait until Christmas. I need to make sure you’ll still want to talk to me, so maybe the anticipation will bring you back.” He lets out a soft chuckle.

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” She shrugs nonchalantly.

“Why’s that?” He looks at her curiously, one eyebrow raised.

“You have to say good morning and goodnight to me anyway. You started this, and I’m used to it now, so you can’t quit.” She smirks at him, making his chest swell.

‘My smirk.’ He just smiles and stares at her for a minute, trying to make sense of the feelings he is having as he memorizes her face.

MC laughs after a moment, realizing he was just gawking at her now. “Okay, I think maybe we should get some sleep. You look like you’re checking out on me already.”

He shakes his head and grins. “Not possible.”

She snorts. “Okay, fine. Then I’m getting tired, so…“ She looks at him expectantly.

His eyes crinkle with happiness as he laughs. “Goodnight, beautiful.”

He watches as MC bites her bottom lip, trying not to smile. She fails miserably, making herself blush and laugh. “Goodnight, cannon.”

Chris gives a hearty laugh and runs his hand through his hair. “Yeah, we’re going to have to fix that…”

They both laugh and say goodnight again, this time for real, before they end the call. Chris turns off his light and stretches across his bed, taking a long deep breath. He holds it for a moment, placing his hands flat against his taut abdomen. Slowly he begins to breathe out, feeling the tension of the day leaving him as his thoughts drift to MC. A pleased smile crosses his lips as he closes his eyes and falls into a deep sleep.

[pizzapizzadickz]

Nggggg. I still feel shitty enough that I wanna hurt myself & attempt suicide before I feel fully sane. It’s times like this that I just wanna bring up all my issues and things and think about them and cry my eyes out and just swallow all the pills I can, but I’m numb. I can’t feel. So while I want to do that I won’t kill myself. Hurting myself till I bruise is a different story and requires me actively fighting urges. Ugh. I really wanted to talk to more friend more but it’s 2am & he has a girlfriend to visit tomorrow. So like I’m kinda just gonna spew it here okay cause I need to sort through things and like I really want to hurt myself in anyway I can even emotionally. Like I know no one rly cares and like here’s a huge warning that I’ll be talking about abuse & rape & shit like that alongside more regular shit probably.

Mkay so like you may be asking “oh pizza! Wtf happened today! I saw you get really bad!” Well short of it? I got overwhelmed. Long of it? I’m at my grandparents & my cousins, aunt, and uncle came over so there was a total of 9 ppl not including myself over and ppl wouldn’t give me enough space so I ended up very suicidal & started hating on myself. And of course when I start hating myself I bring up all the reasons I should. And when I bring up all the reasons I should I bring up my shitty life. What’s my shitty life? Basically my parents, while they say they love me & we aren’t poor or anything, have been unstable (kindaaaa) & often emotionally absent for most of my school age life. Add this onto the time teenagers asked if they could rape me (but didn’t - this is why I view it that I shouldn’t care about this even but am including it for ppl who wanna know shit), shitty friends & two abusive boyfriends in high school and you get the abomination that I am. Nnnnnnnnnnnnn I keep on telling myself “oh this doesn’t sound that bad ur just faking everything”.

Anywho add a solid amount of trauma onto a emotional breakdown and you get the bullshit that was posted earlier. Basically my brain short circuited and started looping on things (not flashbacks per say but kinda like emotions and words). There’s also the problem that because of my emotional baggage I have various feelings about a lot of things. Like while in the moment I may love getting gifts from my parents & extended family I also will later think about how they hurt me and I want to run away from them. And since I’ve been mentally ill off and on since I was 8 I’ve grown to be very dependant on my parents since I usually can’t get myself to leave the house/make food for myself & a lot of other basic things (like brushing teeth has flown out the window). So now how does being very dependant on parents while them also treating you unintentionally kinda badly (I don’t wanna use this word it’s to strong they didn’t hurt me that much), and it results me me feeling very trapped and a lot of feelings especially since I just got presents from them.

So basically my emotional breakdown was from a lot of things and kinda just is really complex. Shit like this happens every now and then. Usually I don’t end up going through a lot of emotions/trauma, & instead just catapult strait into “haha I have all these pills should I take them” n such which results in far less alarming messages and me just hurting myself quietly. It happens. You get used to it.

Either way I appologize for the shitstorm don’t mean to worry anyone.

[sarahjane0886]

Fix a Heart 29

Chapter 29 - A Thousand Years

Heartbeats fast Colors and promises How to be brave How can I love when I’m afraid to fall But watching you stand alone All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I love you for a thousand more  

“Ohh, there ya go. I should probably go down and we can start getting breakfast but I think I’ll enjoy some snuggles first. How about you? That sound like a plan. Today is a huge day for us. We have our hearing this afternoon and you’ll officially be a Chmerkovskiy. Not that daddy and I didn’t see you as anything less but it’s nice to hear that the whole world agrees. Huh sugar? Do you even realize what a big day today is?” Sharna said as she talked to Bella one morning while she rocked her. She had gotten up early with the little one and fed her while they relaxed in the rocker. Typically she would then go down and start breakfast or at least coffee for her and Val. Today however it felt more appropriate to just slowly take in the day.

“We got you a new pretty dress and then after we get back, everyone is coming to visit you. We’re going to have cake. Maybe we’ll let you try a teeny tiny bite. I feel like that’s allowed today. You can have green beans and cake for dinner sound good?” Sharna said smiling as Bella reached up and put her fingers in her mom’s mouth. Sharna pretended to chomp on them making Bella giggle in response. Considering how things could have went, Bella was an amazingly calm back. She was most content when she was curled up with one of her parents but enjoyed her extended family as well. She rarely cried except for when she was scared or not feeling well. Her anxiety had calmed immensely as they had got home and sorted out a routine for the three of them. Once she realized things were normal and this was her new life she was good.

“You know, there was a time when I thought I would never get this opportunity.” Sharna whispered softly after Bella was done playing and went back to just cuddling into her mother. She pulled Bella in tighter as she felt tears fill her eyes.

“You have a big sister but you won’t ever get to meet her until you go to heaven which is a long long time away. She was in my belly but God decided that he wanted her as an angel  instead of a baby just like he needed your momma and daddy. When he took Rose away, I thought for sure that he was punishing me. For thousands of things. For not being a better kid, for not getting out of the situation I was in, just for anything. I thought he didn’t think I could be a good mommy because of my past so he took that chance away from me. Then daddy and I got the call that you needed someone to love you. And I thought, well that’s not fair to this little girl, what did she ever do? She didn’t have anything that caused her to need to be punished. And then after being with you and falling in love with you, i realized something that daddy had been trying to tell me all along. I wasn’t being punished and neither were you. We all just get dealt a hand of cards and sometimes our cards aren’t as fun as others but that doesn’t mean we should give up. Sometimes it means we need to be patient, sometimes it means we need to be creative, sometimes it means we can’t always have what we want, and sometimes we just need to remember that it’s not all about us and there are people in our lives that are there to support us. And you know what, daddy and I will always always be there for you. No matter what.” Sharna said bringing her up to pretty a kiss to her cheek.

“And daddy will always be there for mommy.” Val’s voice came from the doorway startling Sharna and Bella both.

“Babe. How much did you hear?” Sharna said sheepishly once she got her wits about her.

“A lot. I realized you weren’t in bed and weren’t in the kitchen. So I made coffee and came to find my girls.” Val said as he crossed the room and put the coffee he was carrying on the nightstand. He knelt down next to the two and found Sharna’s hand.

“I guess it’s not really a secret. But it’s how I feel. I feel like I’ve waited forever for this Val. And now it’s here. I mean it’s been here for the past 6 months but now it’s official. I didn’t need for it to be official but to know the whole world is going to make it official is a whole other ordeal.” Sharna said as she gripped his hand.

“I get it. It’s a huge day. For us and for Bella and just for you in general. Are you feeling okay?” Val asked.

“Uhhh…yeah. Normal anxiety, I think.” Sharna said softly. Val studied her for a moment before stood and held out his hand.

“Come sit on the couch with me. I wanna hold both my girls for a minute.” He said.

“Val we have to get ready. She needs bathed, we both need showers.” She said giving him a look that plainly said she didn’t want to talk about this. However, he had learned a long time ago when to push and when to let her be. This time wasn’t a let her be moment.

“I know, we have time though. Come on, please? Just come sit. Talk to me princess.”

“Fine, here, I think someone wants some daddy cuddles though. Huh Bella?”

“Ohhh come here my tiny princess.” Val said as he took Bella into his arms and loved her up for a few moments. She cuddled into him before going into a string of rambles. He listened intently to her as they made their way to the family room. He chimed in when it felt appropriate. He let Sharna get settled on the couch while he found one of Bella’s current favorite toys. Then he settled next to his wife situating Bella before tucking her into him as well.

“I love listening to you talk to her.” Sharna said as she smiled while Bella played with her cloth book.

“I love talking to her. And to you. Tell me, what’s going on in that head of yours princess.” Val said pressing a kiss to her head as his hand stroked up and down her arm. Sharna buried into Val while her hand rested on Bella’s leg.

“I’m okay. I just….I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whether it’s with you and now with her. Like I believe what I said to her about it not being a punishment but at the same time it just hangs out in the back of my mind. And then in huge moments like these it creeps up.” She said with a quiet shrug.

“What can I do?” He asked.

“Nothing really. Just don’t judge me. I know you love me. I know that she’s here with us. And that something can always happen but that it’s pointless to live my life in that fear.” She said as she finally picked her head up and looked at him. He could see the resounding fear there but he could also see the strength and courage and knew it was just something that they just had to deal with.“

"You’ll let me know if you need anything? No hiding?” He said looking at her.

“I promise.” She nodded.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” She whispered as she leaned up to kiss him. Right as their lips met, Bella let out a shriek startling the two.

“Oh, someone wants in on the lovings.” Val said as he scooped her up and tickled her belly while Sharna moved to press kisses over her cheeks as the little one giggle in relief. They spent the next half hour just playing and enjoying the morning before it was time to get ready. They bathed Bella first before taking their turns showering. Bella took a mini nap on their bed while they finished getting ready. Then it was Bella’s turn which thankfully she had just woken up so she wasn’t too grumpy.

“Oh my goodness, look at the family all matching.” Peta said with a chirp of excitement when she appeared with Maks and Shai.

“We don’t look stupid do we? It’s subtle isn’t it? I just felt like we needed to be a unit.” Sharna said as she fixed Bella’s shoes for what felt like the 50th time. She had found a sleeveless pink chiffon dress for Bella. Her dress was light pink as well with a black accent belt around the waist. Val was sporting gray dress pants and a light pink dress shirt with a gray jacket over his top.

“I think it’s absolutely adorable and perfect. Not stupid at all. Relax babe. Everything is going to be set in stone here in just a little. Breathe. And let me see this precious thing.” Peta said stealing her niece and snuggling her in.

“See princess. Relax.” Val said coming up behind her and resting his fingers on her shoulders.

“Aunt Sharna! Bella is going to be in our family forever!” Shai said as he hugged her legs interrupting the mini intervention that was occuring.

“Yes, she is. Are you excited?” Sharna said as she leaned down and scooped the munchkin up.

“I am! She’s gonna be friends with Evia. Momma say they be best friends.”

“I think your momma is right. And you’re going to be their protector right?”

“Right! Papa teached me to be kind and helpful and pro…..aww papa. I forgetting again.” He said looking at Maks.

“Protective buddy. It’s a big one.” Maks said ruffling the little one’s hair.

“Yeah, that word. It is big, Aunt Sharna. But I’ll do it. Just like papa and Uncle Val teached me. I keep Bella and Evia safe. Momma I wanna see her. I didn’t give her any loves.” Shai said holding his arm out for his cousin. Surprisingly he had taken to Bella extremely well. They had all been concerned that he would be jealous especially because of his bond with Sharna but he took it in stride. Thankfully considering his little sister was coming regardless of how he felt. A month ago, Maks and Peta found out that the next baby Chmerkovskiy was going to be a girl. Shortly after they announced her name would be Evia May.

“Here bubby.” Peta said coming closer allowing Shai to give Bella a kiss.

“I’ll cuddle you later Bells. Aunt Sharna can I help feed her later?” He asked sweetly.

“Sure buddy, as long as she’s not grumpy.”

“Okay, don’t be grumpy Bells, then I can love you.” Shai said as he kissed her once more.

“Alright, we should probably get going.” Val said reaching for his little one. Peta huffed but handed her niece over. Then the family headed out. They had decided when they got their court date that Maks and Peta would come along with Shai if he chose too which he did. Larisa and Sasha were going to handle getting together a small get together for when they came back. However there was going to be a surprise for Sharna at the get together.

Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything take away What’s standing in front of me Every breath Every hour has come to this One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I love you for a thousand more  

“Do we bring her with us?” Sharna asked Lydia as they were waiting their turn to go before the judge. Bella was currently sitting in her uncle’s lap while Shai entertained her playing peek a boo.

“It’s completely up to you. If you think it’s scary for her, she can sit with Maks or Peta. If you think she’ll be okay, bring her with you. There’s not really a whole lot of rules here other than the givens.” Lydia said as she rested her hand on Sharna’s shoulder.

“Okay.” She nodded.

“Chmerkovskiy vs. State.” The officer at the door announced making Sharna jump. Val slipped his hand into hers and they stood together. Maks, Peta, Lydia, and Shai stood as well.

“Do we?” Sharna said looking at Val.

“She’s content so it’s up to you.”

“I just don’t want her to pick up on my nerves so maybe if you’re okay Maks?” Sharna said quickly.

“I’m more than okay. Go get the papers that makes this little one permanently in our lives.” Maks said as he shifted Bella in his arms. The group followed in with Maks and Peta sitting with the kids directly behind Sharna and Val. The next ½ hour was filled with legal jargon and things none of the adults completely understood.

“I would to speak to the petitioning parents.” Judge Madison stated sharply after he had listened ot all the material presented.

“Go ahead.” Lydia nodded at them to move forward. They took a few steps towards the podium and waited to be told what they wanted.

“I’m slightly unorthodox in this aspect but I would like to know why you two feel you would make good parents for the infant.” He requested before leaning back in his seat like this was a huge test.

“Well your honor. We feel that we could make good parents because…” Val started before the judge cut him off.

“No offense Mr. Chmerkovskiy but this isn’t a high school essay. I don’t want numbers or norms. I want to know why this is important to the two of you.” He explained throwing them both off for a second.

“Your honor, sir. Ever since I was little I dreamt of being a mother. It was one of my passions. To have a family, and grow old with that family. The American dream almost, ironic since I’m Australian however it was my dream and I intended to chase it. However that dream was crushed when I was put into the situation of an abusive boyfriend and became stuck for quite sometime. During the time frame, I had my chance and unfortunately my little girl, Rose was taken from me. Since then Val helped me to get back to me. Once we decided to start a family we found out that it was high unlikely, there was much damage as well as my body just will not support this. We decided to move forward with adoption. During that time frame, I struggled immensely with why the one thing that meant the most to me was taken away. Why I couldn’t have this one thing. And then we got the call that Bella was in need of our love. As soon as we got to the hospital and met this little princess it was clear that she was meant to be in our lives. You see being a parent isn’t always about money and goods but it’s about love. It’s about teaching this human being to grow up to be a strong individual. To reach for the stars and to know that just because your dream doesn’t come true the way you thought it should doesn’t mean that it’s out of reach.” Sharna stopped to take a breath when Bella burst into tears. She turned to look at Maks who was already trying to settle the upset little one.

“Excuse me.” Sharna said moving out of Val’s grip and going to get the little one. She didn’t think twice about the reaction she had to needing to calm the little one. Maks handed Bella to Sharna who tucked Bella into her chest and started to hum as she moved back to where she had been standing before. Bella started to settle instantly as she was tucked into one of her few truly safe places. Val smiled at the two as his arm looped around his wife’s waist.

“If I can pick up where my wife left off, sometimes parenting isn’t about what’s best or what’s right. It’s about instinct. It’s about knowing in the moment that this moment is what is supposed to be. And I can tell you from the moment we met Bella, we knew that she was supposed to be a part of our families. We love her like she is part of us. And she will forever be a part of us. That is why we feel we would make the best parents there could be for Bella.” Val said as he watched the little one drift off into sleep as she listened to her mother’s heartbeat.

“Thank you, you may be seated.” He stated allowing the two to return to their seats next to Lydia. The next 5 minutes were full of not so patient waiting as the judge looked over everything. After awhile he finally looked up at the group. “I have come to a decision. By the power vested in me by the state of New Jersey, I grant full custody and parental rights to Mr. And Mrs. Valentin & Sharna Chmerkovskiy.”

“Seriously?” Sharna said in pure shock making Lydia laugh out loud.

“She’s yours guys. Fully and completely yours for, forever.” Lydia said as she watched the two. Sharna’s eyes filled with tears and they started in cascade down her cheeks quickly before she looked at her husband and realized his face matched hers.

“She’s ours princess.” Val said as he stroked Bella’s curls gently as he watched the baby with a new found admiration. He leaned over and kissed his wife gently before leaning down and kissing Bella as well.

“She’s a Chmerkovskiy! Forever!” Shai’s tiny voice yelled out interrupting the sweet moment but just making it all the better. Everyone chuckled at the young boy’s excitement who was clearly thrilled that his cousin was coming home for good. The next hour was filled with paperwork and lawyers and much much more. They shared their thanks with the judge who stated that he had all intentions of granting them custody but the parents testimony of love was always his final cinching point. They got some information with Lydia about a few follow ups that would need to happen and then they got to go home.

“Hey sweetheart, we’re going home.” Sharna said as they got her situated in the car seat to head to the house. Bella cooed at her mother grasping her hand. She slid into the backseat next to the little one making Val chuckle slightly. He squeezed Sharna’s hand before they headed home.

“Alright tiny princess, now this is an important moment. We knew that you were staying with us forever because we believed it, but now it’s official. We’ll never take the place of your angel mommy and daddy but we’ll love you just as much as them and hopefully fill their void in your life.” Val said as the three stood in front of the doorway. Maks, Peta and Shai had gone ahead to let everyone know they were coming but additionally they wanted to give the family just a few moments on their own.

“Ready?” Sharna asked as her hand reached for the handle. Bella was safely tucked into her father’s arms. Val nodded and Sharna turned the handle.

“Congratulations.” A soft chorus sounded as their family waited anxiously however there was a special set of people in the middle that made Sharna gasp.

“Mom, Dad.” She whispered as tears filled her eyes. Her parents had fully intended on coming to visit Bella shortly after she initially came home but her dad had a kidney scare that turned out to be okay however halted all travel. They were planning on coming after the hearing however Val had convinced them to come now as a surprise for Sharna.

“Surprise baby.” Lucy said as she wrapped her daughter up in her arms. Ray was close behind them holding both Lucy and Sharna after letting the girls have a moment.

“How’d…” Sharna rambled pulling back to look at the .

“That one helped us out. He figured it was the perfect time for Bella to meet her Woo and Paw.” Lucy said wiping a few tears off her own cheeks.

“Babe.” Sharna said turning around and looking at her husband in disbelief.

“Surprise.” Val said pulling Sharna into him and giving her a kiss.

“I can’t believe you did this. Thank you. I love you.” Sharna said as more tears streamed down her face. Val held her for a second before wiping the tears away gently and then handing Bela over to her.

“I think it’s time someone met her grandparents.” Val said giving her a nudge. Sharna smiled up at him and kissed him once more before pressing a kiss to Bella’s head as well. She turned around and placed the little one in her mother’s waiting arms.

“Woo, Dad, I’d like you to officially meet Bella Joy Chmerkovskiy.”

And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more

I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more

**The end. Completely.

**Just kidding. This aint be over yet. But this update is. Don’t throw eggs since it’s been so long. I love you guys! She’s a Chmerkovskiy! Officially! WHOOP! I feel like i just shipped a baby bird out my nest. BFF and I legit had this update planned when I started this story. So exciting that it’s finally here. Don’t forget to like this one up and let me know what you thought. Love you guys, alllll so so so much!