#like there’s some stuff but there’s a lot more room to explore the space

[luvwich]

✒️ writer interview tag

tagged by @dustdeepsea — tysm, this was great fun! read their answers here and mine, if you like, beneath the cut ✨

When did you start writing?

early 2023 was my first foray into writing actual fiction. prior to that i'd done an embarrassing amount of roleplaying many years ago, which i shall speak on no further, but it did form the basis for a lot of my writing now!

once upon a time, i seriously entertained the idea of an MFA in screenwriting, but went on to pursue something even stupider for grad school 👍

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

honestly everything i enjoy reading gets smuggled into my writing in some form or another!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

there are like 26 different writers where i wish to take bits and pieces of their style, send it all into a meat grinder, and press the gunk into sausage casings to be dipped in batter and deep fried. ideally i want my writing to hit like wagyu beef that's been corrupted into a county fair corn dog. but no i'm not sure i've ever been compared to another writer! that would fuck my shit up truly (in a good way)

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

typically curled up on my couch, because the ergonomic status of my home office setup is terrible — potentially lethal. sometimes i stay late at my not-home office, hidden away in a dark conference room, but that's usually only if i'm on a self-imposed deadline (i.e. i've started posting a WIP)

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

the spark that gets me to write is usually some kind of Dynamic that i want to explore so i do a lot of noodling upon situations and then figuring out how to get there. and by situations i mean smut

also, writing bits of dialogue, even if i don't know the context yet. it gets a character's voice and mannerisms in my head, and gives me a little grain to start building on

sadly, going on a hike and/or reading a really good book are both very effective and by far the most time consuming

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

longing, isolation, identity, the difference between the person you'd like to be and the person you are, strained/dysfunctional family relationships, wrong person right time, hope, blowjobs, self-deception, california, fucking your way through it, guilt, social class, mommy issues, mono no aware, oral fingering, etc; they don't surprise me anymore but the first time i finished a long fic and took a step back i was like "ohh haha Damn"

What is your reason for writing?

i am horny, sad n silly

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

all forms of feedback are so touching! i think much of what i write is pretty niche, so simply knowing someone has read my stuff gets me pumped. a big essay of a comment is like receiving a love letter, and comments that are just an emoji are like someone's tucked a little note in my lunchbox, and both are incredibly nourishing to me. as far as motivation, though, anything that implies someone is looking forward to reading more is the surest way to light a fire under my people-pleasing ass

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

affable wretch, trickster, wine aunt

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

i'm not sure any one thing stands out: i believe i'm pretty good in a few areas (dialogue, sensory detail, characterization) and notably lacking in others (action, "plot," pacing, not getting high on my own supply)… okay i'll stop being an asshole though and say my strength is in "delivering on a mood," if that is a thing

How do you feel about your own writing?

generally good. for one, i'm proud of myself for ever finishing and posting anything, because following through on shit isn't something i'm renown for. i tend to hate everything i write after i've gotten some distance from it, but i think that's normal? right? i'm new at it and it's all for fun so i try to be gracious with myself, with mixed success, because beneath my goofy exterior i do take everything too seriously

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

mostly for myself; i do abstractly ask "would someone who isn't me enjoy this?" and never quite know the answer. like most humans i crave external validation and connection, but like a cactus i can survive on just a lil rainfall 🌵

tagging w/no pressure (but with my best barbara walters impression) @corpocyborg @ghostoffuturespast @merge-conflict @streetkid-named-desire @writing-for-soup

[fishyartist]

Tumblrina 2 me btw. Would ride up and say some shit like “I’m not trans but I believe in their beliefs” or maybe say some shit about leaving to “steal some shoelaces” then kicking Joe Biden in the sack or something

[anarchopuppy]

Did nobody play Cadence of Hyrule??? I can't even find a decent walkthrough or wiki for it, and I can't remember the last time I had that problem with any game, including niche indies

This game is incredible y'all. No game I've played has felt more like the best parts of pre-3D Zelda, including games intentionally meant to and even the Link's Awakening remake. And it manages to do that while being procedurally generated, too. I've been having a gay old time with it

I get the impression that a lot of people bought Cadence of Hyrule and either didn't try it or didn't get very far, then forgot about it. I and a few of my friends did at least, I don't remember if another bigger game came out right after or what. Anyway, if that's you, give it a try, it's fun. And finish Tears of the Kingdom too, the last boss alone is worth it

[arolesbianism]

Oh baby I am getting way to ambitious with my current oni run for someone who's laptop starts screaming anytime it opens steam

[juney-blues]

June Egbert is, and always has been incredibly fascinating to me because of just, how many factors have conspired to make Homestuck fans show their collective transmisogynistic asses.

The main character of Homestuck transitioning is a planned future plot point for the official continuation of homestuck, that was spoiled in advance by a fan making a joke about finding some toblerones Andrew Hussie the author of homestuck hid in a cave.

The current main writers of Homestuck: Beyond Canon have went on record in an AMA confirming that this was indeed always the plan, even before they took up the project.

In spite of these facts, the general consensus among certain homestuck fans seems to be that "June Egbert" is purely a headcanon for the original comic that was "made canon" by a "Toblerone Wish" (a concept that didn't even exist at the time)

For a variety of reasons, the "canonicity" of the postcanon official continuations of homestuck is a mattter of much debate, (though a debate that most homestuck fans seem to err on a side of "it's not canon at all in the slightest," something the writers have feelings on I'm sure.)

All of these factors combined leave the concept of "June Egbert" in a very nebulous place. It's assumed by most to just be an "ascended headcanon" that was shoehorned in, it's a spoiler so it hasn't happened yet in any official media, and the official media it will eventually happen in is regarded by some to be nothing more than glorified fanfic.

If someone is talking about June Egbert, and you don't like the concept of June Egbert, you have your pick of a million different excuses for why she's fake and gay and not worth discussing and bad writing and just the authors doing a gay dumbledore*, paying lip service to representation while actually doing nothing.

And of course, lots of people *don't* like June Egbert! Rather than being introduced as transfem from the start, she's in this nebulous position of discovery where people have to truly reckon with the idea of a "Pre-transition Trans Woman."

You can try to write off *some* of the backlash as transphobia, because obviously not everyone in this fandom is gonna be cool about trans people.

But there's no shortage of fans just dying to tell you about how much they like reading her as transmasc, or the idea of her being nonbinary or genderqueer or genderfluid, or literally anything besides a trans woman. And since they're fine with all those other interpretations, there's obviously no implicit biases driving their distaste for the concept! (if you want to try explaining the concept of "transmisogyny" to people like this you're braver than I.)

you can trust them when they say it's *just* a problem with whether or not it makes sense with the writing, or it just doesn't feel right somehow, or any of the thousands of excuses that this writing situation gives them to just Not Like It.

It's just, so interesting to me. There's not a lot of characters out there that get a trans arc in this way, that leaves room for open denialism and insistence that we have our trans cake and eat it too... Because Homestuck is a timeline spanning multiverse story, lots of people seem to want it to be an alternate timeline thing. Assuring us we can have this character share space with a non-transitioning version of herself and it won't be weird or imply gross things about trans people.

If you ask me it feels like a plotline that'd be really good for exploring some gender horror though, finding your true self and then being demoted to a footnote, an alternate version, because everyone around you likes your pre-transition self more....

Anyway I have no broader point beyond "hey look at this isn't this kinda weird. You don't get this kinda stuff often!"

*side note: it's a little ghoulish I think to compare "a future trans plot point that hasn't been given the chance to even happen yet, in an already famously queer piece of media, from a nonbinary author" to "some stupid shit done by the literal most famous transphobe of all time" but that's perhaps a discussion for later.

[felassan]

Just some info I noted down from today's video in text form, under a cut due to what some peeps may consider spoilers, and length.

This video took place well into the game, meaning the beats in it are later in the storyline.

At least part of Davrin’s personal arc involves rescuing the griffons. In an earlier part of his arc you are introduced to his nemesis, the Gloom Howler, a creature that has been hunting and stalking Wardens for quite some time. It has kidnapped a bunch of non-Assan griffons and Davrin has been trying to track it down. In the quest shown in the video, he has found a lead and wants to go and track it down and get the griffons back from the Cauldron (a secret Grey Warden redoubt that was attacked). Davrin wonders what the Wardens were hiding inside the Cauldron, as he has no idea. When the party reaches the Cauldron, they find that something large tore down the gate. The party needs to find a way inside and help Davrin investigate.

Davrin prefers a Direct approach in dialogue. Tough dialogue choices can gain approval from him

The bond between a griffon and a Warden moving as one and having unity between them is called “turlum”. Davrin and Assan don’t yet have this

Grey Wardens: Lancit, Remi, Landon, Quincy, Miriel, Fisher, Greta, Beckett, Flynn (an apprentice physician, whose mentor is called Oskar). I think Flynn’s pronouns are they/them. We will do quests with Flynn including A Cabin in the Blight. They were treating patients and became low on medical supplies. Their mentor Oskar has some and lives in a cabin outside the village. Flynn asks Rook to tell Oskar they could use his help if Rook sees him when they are out there. Flynn is local to Lavendel and saw the Blight surge through their home.

A Grey Warden merchant / quartermaster is called Holden. The little girl seen with Davrin in the release date trailer is called Mila.

If you do content in an area it helps you discover more shortcuts, giving you more flexibility in how you navigate between different remaining missions and quests

Each exploration space has its own story to tell. The quests and sidequests there are narratively relevant and also contribute to a meta story/meta narrative about that space. In Hossberg / Lavendel the aim is to get to the center of the Blighty stuff that has been going on there

Another Warden sidequest called Lives Spared seems to involve some missing Wardens who haven’t checked in in a while

Rook inherits the Lighthouse willingly or unwillingly from Solas. It’s located in the Fade and is where Solas was able to start planning his rebellion against the elven gods millennia ago

The Lighthouse shapes itself around your personality. Companions’ rooms there shape themselves around the companions as they live there and go through their arcs. A glowing light above the entrance to a companion’s room indicates that they are ready to talk to us

Hossberg is a later game area. Hossberg Wetlands are dark swamps and the area has almost completely been consumed by the Blight, making it a lot more dangerous than before. As a zone it’s quite contiguous and has lots of branching paths and different areas to explore. The Grey Wardens set up shop in an outpost/fortress (this is only one of their bases) there called Grey Hold in the small town of Lavendel, which used to be a beautiful place full of life and flowers. The Blight has had a serious effect on Lavendel, but the residents are still there and trying to make the most of it. There are plenty of opportunities to help the residents.

The Wardens have noticed that something strange is going on; the Blight is not behaving as it should or as they would expect, or like it has done historically. A codex entry pops up called “An Improved Blight”. (basically we are getting Blight dialled up to eleven) Rook is there to work with the Wardens, help them out, and help them find the answer to their question about the Blight. In their outpost the Wardens have built up a small fighting force to hold off the darkspawn. They understand the stakes of the gods being released and want to help you but they have other priorities, so increasing their power allows them to contribute more meaningfully to your fight against the elven gods. The Blight has changed. It’s become a lot more organic, a lot more alive. Once a slow-moving wall, it now has almost-sentience and almost-thought behind it. This has something to do with the released Blighted elven gods.

Something bad happened to a place called D’Meta’s Crossing, it’s no longer standing.

It sounds like Weisshaupt has fallen.

Merchant shops can be upgraded, doing so unlocks new items.

The Crossroads is a location in the Fade that contains a number of eluvians, allowing you to travel across Thedas in a matter of minutes. At the point the video takes place, the Crossroads are under assault by the elven gods. It’s now a dangerous place.

The big eluvian in the Lighthouse is called the Vir Revas. (that could translate as Way/Path of Freedom). It’s the central focus point of the Lighthouse and it takes you to Solas’ pocket area of the Crossroads, which looks different to what we’ve seen in Trespasser. “A path has emerged from the mists of the Fade that leads to a gathering point where all eluvians meet – the Crossroads”. We will spend a lot of time travelling through the Crossroads as we go from area to area. At one point, it was also a space that served as Solas’ main base of operations and training ground for his rebellion against the elven gods. As we go through it we will find fragments of the past, things that Solas did previously that will give us insight into him as a character, and also into the elven gods and their motivations. If you go exploring in the Crossroads there are opportunities to relive some of the memories Solas had during his rebellion. We will actually get to take part in this ancient rebellion.

The Crossroads as a realm reflects the waking world. It’s a mix/ amalgamation of all the real world spaces that are tied to it, in this case for example Hossberg and other mountainous regions that exist in the game. The architecture around the eluvians here very clearly reflects where they lead. The first time you go to any of the new regions in the world you traverse the Crossroads to get there. After that you can fast travel if you want. But exploring the Crossroads is recommended because some of the deepest secrets lie within

There is a mysterious spirit in the Crossroads called The Caretaker who was there before Solas was. They started to help Solas with his rebellion and also to turn the area into a safe haven for spirits, as Solas loves spirits. In the video we see them piloting a boat through the air to transport Rook somewhere. Because the gods are assaulting the Crossroads, it’s no longer the safe haven it once was. Rook works with the Caretaker through a lot of ancillary content to rebuild it into a safe home for spirits.

There is an area in the Crossroads called Beacon Island

The darkspawns’ different looks is very intentional. Their new look is in part because Ghilan’nain, described here as "the god of monsters", has always been focused on using the Blight essentially as a crafting material, a way to alter life itself. she’s been enhancing and changing the darkspawn as part of her army. She uses Blight like a medium to sculpt and warp the darkspawn to do her bidding and suit her purposes. The idea is that the Blight and the darkspawn are an organic weapon. Instead of making swords and armor, the darkspawn use the Blight to augment themselves, effectively defeat you and give the gods the world that they desire. The darkspawn aren’t just coming out of nowhere. They emerge from Blight pools, like the Blight is spawning them. Part of Ghil’s attempts to turn this into an army for the gods is to use them for overwhelming force. Hurlock Blighters have disgusting growths on their backs that they throw, making them function like grenadiers as they rip off these pieces of themselves and throw them at you - these then explode as Blight – this kind of enemy design for the darkspawn is supposed to lean into the idea that the Blight is organic and disgusting. In places there are Blight boils throughout the area, and if Rook doesn’t destroy them during combat ghouls will continue to emerge from them.

It sounds like in terms of ‘factions of enemies’ and their designs, we have the darkspawn which use overwhelming force tactics, the Venatori which focus on magical power, and the Antaam which focus on physical strength

Zipline traversal is in

Each mage’s (Neve, Bellara, Emmrich) healing ability is thematically appropriate to them

I think Davrin’s special exploration ability, or one of them, is called Blight Hunter. (one of the ones Rook can channel through the dagger when that companion isn’t there). This summons Assan from above to destroy Blight Abscesses. He seems to have another as well that Rook can also use via the dagger called Griffon Strike. In the video Rook uses this one to destroy a mechanism that was keeping a load of wood suspended in the air from a beam.

We see Rook also using the dagger to "charge beam" and destroy what looked like a thick tendril of organic Blight across the ground, and to destroy a ‘wall’ of blight abscesses that was blocking the way. At one point in the video Rook comments that the dagger is vibrating, "like a song in a wine glass"

When companions go ahead to meet you at quests they’re invested in, they won’t complete them without you, but they do get things ready. If you start doing those quests and don’t have them in your party, they will move ahead of you and wait for you at the next point.

[freckliedan]

if they're both out, then why bother hiding their relationship / stuff like sharing a room and going on couple holidays? surely all of their fans know that they're together so i don't get the point of buying a home with 2 bedrooms and having a fake apartments? sorry very confused very casual fan here

hi!!! i am always so happy to share information, so ty for asking me about it! i'm going to take these questions piece by piece ^_^

if they're out why bother hiding: most of the examples of them taking serious steps to hide their relationship are from before they came out! they have been together since 2009, but dan wasn't even out to his family until 2019, shortly before he came out publicly.

why not come out sooner than that? i'll try to be brief and avoid rehashing dan's entire coming out video (which is worth watching). several reasons: he was severely bullied from early childhood onward for being gay—from before he even had the chance to consider if he was actually gay. his dad was homophobic to the point dan seems to have removed him from his life completely, & he was raised by religious grandparents so unsure of the reception there.

and significantly: he and phil were outed by a youtube glitch that leaked an extremely personal video in 2011 that leaked again on a broader scale about a year later. being outed was a part of the bullying dan had experienced so this was retraumatizing but on a bigger scale.

they had had SOME level of plausable deniability regarding their relationship before the leak, but hadn't been very actively closeting themselves before that point? and then the leak happened around when they were blowing up in popularity/around when youtube was becoming a viable career, so they were already grappling with sudden fame & a lot of other things happening in their lives at the time.

dan was 20 and phil was 24 the first time that video leaked; they were 21 and 25 and living in an apartment they couldn't afford on their own hoping the bbc would hire them (they did) the second time it did. it makes sense that they came down hard & firmly closeted themselves, especially dan, especially with what he's shared of his personal experiences.

2012-13 was the peak closet, but by 2015 they were already being more open—that's the first couple's trip they went on again after active closeting started. they've just become more and more open from there, but the peak closet era was so definitive that the public perception of them as not a couple WILL NOT SHIFT until they directly express that they are a couple.

they ARE out to fans as a couple, and imo have been since before they came out individually. they've said things along the lines of "we know you know" multiple times.

why not be definitive about their relationship status when they came out? it would've overshadowed them coming out as individuals and they didn't want that. it will be MASSIVE news when they hard launch their relationship. they went ambiguous with it on purpose in 2019 and succeeded.

so. to circle back to your questions.

why bother hiding their relationship? they haven't really since coming out. they've been living freely and being open about that in whatever ways are comfortable to them. they took some time out of the public eye for a while and i'm glad they got to have that so they could explore what happiness looks like without feeling the need to perform. but it was also something that was intentionally temporary!

at this point in time when they call each other friends or roommates etc they're fully doing a bit. like. it's funny! and it's funny at our expense which makes it even funnier—it's their turn to put us through some shit, you know? & the joke is more on people who AREN'T familiar with them than anyone else at this point. it's nice being in on things with them.

why hide sharing a bedroom? they haven't really since moving into their forever home! they have a bedroom and a guest room and there's a murphy bed in phil's filming space/personal office.

phil at some point made a comment that the murphy bed is for if they have two guests over at the same time—something that will only really read as "they share a bedroom" to people keeping track of rooms in their house.

i don't think that they share a bed they sleep in 100% of the time. which is like, normal and healthy? being able to sleep in a different bed when you want/need is NICE i've known so many people who keep seperate rooms in committed relationships and if i was rich enough i'd love having two bedrooms with beds in them in my relationship. even if we'd mostly sleep in the same place.

i also think having multiple beds means dan and phil can have freak sex in one and be lazy about clean up bc they have other beds so that's. a plus for them too.

but like. yeah. i think it's less that they're hiding that they share a bedroom and more that they share a bedroom but have better boundaries with their audience at this point—there stopped being video liveshows after they came out and they'd stopped doing liveshows from their actual bedroom when they moved in to the separate apartment situation.

+ the separate apartment situation was ONLY ever meant to be short term, & was a solution to the situation before that, when every room was in videos and it permanently felt like they were living in sets.

why hide couple holidays? they haven't since before coming out! they also go on a lot of double dates.

no sorries on the confusion and thank you for the chance to infodump!

[avale-reves]

if this "no news/trailers/whatever at all until the year leading up to release" is the new normal for KH i think fandom is going to like, have to massively restructure the way it works, the things it celebrates and engages with, the stuff it values and considers 'high worth', because otherwise it's just going to be years and years and years of the same discussions repeated over and over with nothing new for us to even chew on in the meantime.

i find that the kh fandom massively undervalues fanworks. maybe as a side effect of how important 'word of god' and 'canon' are to understanding the series, idk, but like i think there needs to be a real shift in fandom perspective to champion them more, and making them far more central to what "being active in kh fandom" means. And I think this both because of just the practicality of keeping fandom alive in an era where the devs are more tight-lipped than ever, but also I think it's something that KH specifically needs to do.

Kingdom Hearts is always going to be a series of "missed/unfulfilled potential". There is no way it cannot be. The concept is just too expansive, the cast so wide, and there are endless ways to spin off of what they've given us, or endless ways to imagine where it could go. Even something as simple as a Disney world has all of this "potential" in how it could be explored, how it could be utilized, how it could play or look or feel, what themes it could have, what character development it could give certain characters etc. And the games will always have to take that infinite possibility and whittle it down to a single thing. KH itself will always have to contend with right/legal issues, Disney oversight and rules, the realities of game development and budgets, etc and so in that sense, it will never be able to reach the potential. But like... we can? We as fans can take all of the potential and use it as an endless playground for us to enjoy and engage with.

Idk, I just think back to, for example, Kairi and Lea training. A concept that has a ton of potential! Very interesting fertile ground for character dynamics, fighting scenes, mentor scenes, etc etc. Obviously, in KH3 this amounted to only a couple of core scenes where the devs put the focus on just their character relationships. Many were disappointed by this, by how little we see, but like, it was always set up as a "thing that is going to be happening off-screen", that's the whole point of 'merlin made a special place where time doesnt matter and they can just focus on training'. And when we think of KH3 with its endless things it has to juggle, its huge cast, etc. it makes sense that Kairi and Lea training can only be a tiny part of it. They have a budget. They have resource constraints. They even have disc space constraints to worry about (it's why their scenes are CG even! They literally did not have any room on the disc to actual make in-game environments for them!).

Like we can look at that and be very disappointed. We didn't get to see any of that stuff. But like, idk, at the same time, the fact that we didn't see a lot of it means that almost any fanwork about that time can "fit with canon" and be "something that might've happened". Like, we can look at it as a disappointment it wasn't more defined by KH3, but we could also look at it as a fandom gift. To borrow a phrase from iconic kh fan translator goldpanner: It is a crack in the concrete sidewalk of KH canon where fanworks can grow and thrive.

Idk. I know for some, fanworks will just never count the same as canon. But, I do feel like if people in general grew to appreciate them more, and have fun with them and engage with them, and share them and make them themselves, then it could do so much to smooth out the feelings of 'missed potential' that is inherent with this series and always will be through no fault of the devs themselves. And perhaps we would find, if, for example, we had spent the 4-6 years between MelMem and KHIV having a blast as a fandom exploring 'Kairi and Aqua training' through fics, art, comics, vids, fangames, music, graphic design, etc etc. We'd probably feel that by the time it was 'defined' by canon into a single thing it has to be for the story they're telling, even if that thing is nothing that we thought or wished for, we might end up feeling the 'potential' of the idea wasn't wasted, because we explored it.

[koostattoos]

➳ There’s Only Me When There’s You || j.jk

~ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

~ Genre: slight enemies to lovers, high school au, fluff, MAJOR angst, first love, young love (Inspired by 2000's film A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks)

~ Summary: Being new was tough. Starting out in a new school and new town without any idea where to go or any friends was tougher. When coming across Jungkook and his friends, school hadn't got any easier. When you get paired with Jungkook for a project your life becomes hell, or was it heaven?

~ Warnings: MAJOR character death, a fight happens, mentions of a hospital, mentions of blood, fluff, fluff, fluff! 190811!jungkook (iykyk), jk’s lowkey an asshole but he’s actually the sweetest, they’re so incredibly adorable i’m sobbing, use of petnames (mostly baby)

~ word count: 15.1k

• currently playing: star by colde

a/n: this is pure fiction. pls don’t discern the characters in the story to them irl! happy reading! 🫶🏼

~

This past summer your family moved to a new city. Yongsan was small, that’s what you liked about it. But your family wanted to get away from the big bustling city of Seoul. They thought it’d be better for you. Moving was exciting to you. Being in a new place and all. The house they had bought was small, it had two bedrooms, with a bathroom, and a big enough living space for the three of you.  

The people in the neighborhood were nice. They welcomed you with fresh food and some plants to plant in the mini greenhouse next to the yard. It was very thoughtful of them. Tomorrow is your first day at your new school. You were going into your senior year. They say it’s supposed to be one of the most exciting times in high school.  

After you finish unpacking your things you walk into the living room where your dad was sitting. He was on the phone talking with the moving people to figure out where the rest of your stuff was. And your mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner. You decide to take yourself out of the house and explore the small town you now call home.  

Making sure your parents knew where you were, you turn your head around the corner of the kitchen and call for your mom. 

“I’m gonna go out and look around town, is that okay?”  

“Yeah, sure. Just be careful. Don’t go too far and be back before the sun goes down.” she tells you 

Nodding your head, you turn to put your shoes on and make sure you have your phone with you. The air outside was nice. It was still mid-summer but the weather around this time seemed to cool down.  

When you walk into the village you meet a lot of nice people. Mrs. Kim was the first person you met. “Hi honey. Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen your face around here”. She ran one of the local restaurants.  

“No, I’ve actually moved here a few days ago. My family and I live nearby. I just wanted to come in and see what was around here. So, I know somewhat my way around.” you explain to her. She nods her head and gasps as an idea pops up into her head.  

“Well, if you ever need anything, please stop by. I’ll be glad to help” she says to you with a sweet smile.  

“Thank you, Mrs. Kim. I’ll keep that in mind. Have a good night” you smile at her and walk away to explore more of the village. There wasn’t much to do. There were a few bookstores you had walked past and a few other markets. Deciding to head back home you text your mom that you were on your way. Without looking at where you were going you bumped into a firm chest. When you look up, you’re met with a teenage boy. His hair was a bit of a mess but still maintained. He was actually rather cute.  

Before you could say anything, he says, “Are you okay?” you pause for a minute trying to collect your thoughts. He looks blankly at you waiting for you to respond. Finally, after staring at him for what felt like an eternity, you answer him. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry for bumping into you” you bow your head slightly to him as you apologize.  

“It’s alright. Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before” you respond the same way you answered to Mrs. Kim. You tell him that you had just moved here a few days ago with your family. He nods his head and excuses himself. But not before he introduces himself.  

“I’m Jungkook by the way.” He has a faint smile on his lips. You tell him your name. “It’s nice to meet you, Jungkook” he nodded and slowly started to walk away. “It was nice to meet you too” Finally, you both bid goodbye to each other and you make your way back home.  

~ 

Jungkook and his friends were out tonight. There was a bridge near one of the old farms, no one was allowed near there, yet they all agreed to meet up.  Taehyung brought along his girlfriend and her friends. Their other friend Jimin decided to tag along with them.  

Jungkook came up late (as usual) and Taehyung walks up and grabs his best friend by the nape of his neck playfully. “Where the hell have you been. We were all waiting for you” he says 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m here now, aren’t I?”  

Taehyung laughs at him. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Does anyone have the drinks?” Jimin walks up next to them and pulls out a case of Soju from the trunk of his car and places it next to him. Taehyung’s girlfriend, Ara, holds him by his waist and asks Jimin to pass her a drink. Her friend, Sooha, hasn’t taken her eyes off Jungkook since he got there. He walks over to Jimin and grabs a bottle for himself. As he stands next to Jimin, Sooha makes her way to the case and takes one. She ‘tries’ to open the bottle but fails. She pouts her lips and looks up to Jungkook “Can you open this for me Jungkookie”  

He looks down at her and grabs the bottle from her hand and opens it for her.  

“Who’s jumping first?”  

Jimin speaks up “I think you should Kook. Since you were late, you should make up for it” Taking a swig of his drink Jungkook shrugs his shoulders and places his down. He takes off his pants and his black t-shirt. He stands on top of the bridge and flips everyone off.  

Then, he jumps backwards into the river full of water. And yells at the top of his lungs  

“Fuck all of you!” 

With all the noise they were making a farmer flashed a light towards them.  

“Hey! Who’s over there! You shouldn’t be here! He yells at them.  

“Shit, shit, shit!” Jungkook says under his breath swimming back to where his clothes were.  

“Hurry get in the car!” Taehyung urges his girlfriend.  

Everyone fled and Jungkook was left to fend for himself.  

“Is that you Jeon!” the man says 

“Fuck” he runs for his car and speeds off.  

~ 

The next morning, Jungkook walks out of his room into the living room. His mom was already in the kitchen.  

“I heard what you did last night Jungkook” she says with a stern voice  

“Why do you always get yourself stuck in these situations! I mean this is the third time already and school has just barely started a couple weeks ago! You are so irresponsible. And you know what ever since you started hanging out with that boy Taehyung, that’s all you’ve been doing is getting in trouble” she yells at him in disappointment.  

“You’re hanging out with the wrong crowd here Jungkookie, you need to find new people to hang out with” she shakes her head at him and walks away.  

He sits there thinking about what his mother said.  

~  You wake up to your alarm blaring in your ear. Today was your first day at your new school. The feeling of anxiety kept you up at night and you barely had any sleep. The clock read 7:00 a.m. When you walk out of your room, you’re hit with the smell of breakfast. Walking into the living room your father is nowhere to be seen. Your mom had told you that he went out to find a job locally. 

“So how do you feel about being at a new school?” 

Registering her question in your sleepy state you make up a smile and answer her. “I’m nervous, I’ll be fine though” she nods her head at you and goes to make her morning coffee.  

Done with breakfast you walk over to your bathroom to clean yourself up. You haven’t bothered with makeup since freshman year. It only made your face feel gunky with the number of products you used to feel pretty.  

Your outfit was simple. It was a soft pink cardigan with a white skirt matching it. You tied your hair up into a half ponytail. Leaning down to pick up your backpack from your floor; you make your way to the front door and tell your mom goodbye. 

 “I love you, I’ll be back soon mom”  

“Okay, I love you too honey. Have a good day at school.” she tells you.  

The school was only a five-minute walk from your house.  

~ 

“Yo, check out her sweater,” Jimin says 

You were wearing a pastel-colored cardigan with flowers on it. It was a bit beat up because you’ve worn it so many times. But you still liked to wear it.  

“Yeah I think I wore it when I was nine” Sooha chuckles  

They see you walk past them with a few books in your hand and hardly any idea where to go.  

“Um excuse me, do you know where the front office is?” You ask one of them. You hadn’t noticed Jungkook, but he pays attention to you.  

Taehyung speaks up and laughs “It’s down that way” he points into a direction. You nod you head at him “Cute sweater” Sooha says sarcastically. Not reading her sarcasm you tell her “Thank you” and make your way over to the office. When you’re out of sight they all begin to laugh. Jungkook with a faint smile painted on his lips. 

~ 

“Jungkook to the principal's office, Jungkook to the principal's office” is heard over the intercom. Groaning, he makes his way over to the front of the school where he’s needed. He knocks on the door and Mr. Kang holds his hand up and tells him to wait outside as he finishes up talking to another student.  

A few minutes pass by and when the student walks out the principle motions his hand for Jungkook to come in. He walks through the door and shuts it.  

“So, Mr. Jeon, I’ve heard from your mother you’re causing trouble again? I thought we spoke of this.” 

Jungkook doesn’t say anything. He sits in silence and only waits for Mr. Kang to continue.  

“I also couldn’t help but notice your grades have slipped during last year’s final exam. And ever since school started a few weeks ago you already have such low grades.” Sitting in the chair in front of Mr. Kang’s desk he slouches, shakes his head, and laughs in disbelief.  

“Your absences and tardies have affected you severely. You haven’t always been like this Jungkook. I think it’s time for you to seek out new friends and join a new crowd.” Mr. Kang places his hands over his desk and continues.  

“From now on, you will stay after school to be tutored and I have asked the clean-up committee if they are able to let you work to help clean up around the school on the days you don’t have tutoring. I expect you to follow my instructions. If not, there will be consequences. Do I make myself clear Mr. Jeon”  

Sighing in defeat, he nods.  

“Yes, Mr. Kang” 

“Good. Now get out of my office and get to class” 

~ 

 When you got to the front office. They gave you your schedule for your classes for this year. When you walk out of the office you bump into someone. You don’t get to catch a glimpse of who the person was as they continued walking and didn’t bother to say sorry. Brushing it off, one of the student aids in the office is instructed to show you around campus.  

After the tour was done you walk to the first class of the day. Botany. Plants always caught your interest when you were younger. You always wanted to see the cherry blossom trees. They were looked beautiful no matter what time of the year it was.  

As you walk into class all eyes were on you. You slowly make your way to the front and the techer finally notices you.  

“Ah, you must be our new student. I’m Mr. Jung. Do you mind introducing yourself?” 

“Well, I’m from Seoul, and I’ve moved here only a couple of days ago. I hope you treat me kindly” you say to the class.  

When you say your name a certain person’s ears perk up. Jungkook looks to the head of the class and remembers you from the day before. The girl who bumped into him. Next to him he hears his friend, Taehyung, make a comment about you. “She looks” he pauses “Like a loser” he laughs quietly next to Jungkook. He disagrees strongly, but he laughs along with his friend.  

When you make your way over to your seat. Taehyung pushes his foot in front of you and you trip and almost land on your knees. If it weren’t for the desks next to you. Your face turns beet red out of embarrassment. The whole class starts to laugh at you. Quietly making your way to your seat, you sit down and take your things out of your backpack.  

“Alright everyone quiet down. Let’s start with today’s lesson”  

Completely blocking out what the teacher says you only think about when today was going to end.  

~ 

During lunch you sat by yourself. You had tried talking to some of the kids in your class, but they only said a few words to you before walking away. You shook it off and thought maybe you could find someone to talk to tomorrow. As you take your food out, you don’t notice a group of people walking to the table you’re sitting at. When you look up you see the boy who had tripped you earlier. You also take notice of the boy you bumped into yesterday.  

“Oh, hi Jungkook! I didn’t know you went here” you say to him. But the boy in front of him looks confused at him. There was girl next to Jungkook. She gave you a disgusted look as you spoke. 

“Kook, you know her?” he points at you. You have a look of confusion on your face as well. What you’re not prepared for was the boy’s response.  

“I don’t, I don’t know how she knows my name” he only shrugs. This has you extremely confused.  

“Alright weirdo looks like you have no friends. Now I know why” The boy you had yet to know the name of walks away. But before Jungkook could follow his group he looks back at you for a second, then he makes his way.  

~ 

After school you decide to take a walk into town. You stop by Mrs. Kim’s and hang out there and talk to her. You felt you needed to take on a small job to help boost your family a little bit. So, you bring it up to her. “Mrs. Kim?” you say “Yes, dear”  

“I was wondering if you were hiring? I want to help out my family. We're not really doing the best right now and I wanted to see if I could do a small job for you?” you ask hoping she would say yes.  

“That’s so sweet of you” she places a hand over her chest  

“Of course, I can get you something to do here. Can you start tomorrow after school?” she asks 

“Yes!” With that you make your way back home.  

~  It was getting close to the end of school. Your plan was to go straight to Mrs. Kim’s place so you could officially start your new job. But, of course, your plan had to be messed up in some way. Because when you make your way to the front of the school to go on your way. You run into Jungkook’s friend group. You try your best to ignore them, but their yelling of your name stopped you in your tracks. 

Taehyung walks up to you. He only stands in front of you before he speaks up.  

“Look new girl, this is a scary world we live in. But I think it’d be best if you kept your distance from other people. You know, since you’re new and all. Some kids find it a little weird when you know their name when they’ve never spoken to you. Okay?” he says in a mocking tone. Jungkook stands there and watches it all happen. They walk away. But the girl that gave you a look earlier bumps into your shoulder.  

“Oops!” she says as she walks over to Jungkook’s side and locks her arm with his. What you don’t notice when you turn back around is that he removes her arm from his and takes a different route from the others.  

~ 

It’s been almost a week since you started at your new school. You still hadn’t made any progress with making new friends. You didn’t mind though. You liked to keep to yourself anyway. What threw you off still was the way Jungkook had denied that he knew you. And the way he looked at you every time you walked into class.  

Everything about him confused you. When you walk into class today, he does the same thing. He looks at you but when you look back at him, he looks away. The boy you had now learned his name was Taehyung only looked at you as if you were some weird creature. You sat down at your desk in the back of the class and waited for class to start. Mr. Jung started the lesson and started to explain what he had planned.  “Okay class, today I have a partner project planned” he says.  

“You all have to make a presentation and I will provide you with a plant. You must discuss and explain how the operation of a plant affects our environment.  This will be due by the end of this month. Any questions?”  

Taehyung raises his hand “Yes, Mr. Kim”  

“Will we get to pick our partners?” he asks 

“I have already assigned partners so; no, you do not get to choose who you work with.”  

“Dammit” he says under his breath  

I have put your names up on the sheet I put in the front of the room. Please look at it as you make your out at the end of class” 

You weren’t too worried about who you’d be partnered with. You just hoped you hadn’t gotten paired with Taehyung or any of his group. When you walk up to the sheet of paper you read your name next to Jeon Jungkook.  

~ 

Spending the majority of your time at Mrs. Kim’s washing a few dishes here and there. You decide to work on part of your assignment for Mr. Jung’s class. As you took your things out of your bag you heard the beeping sound of someone entering the restaurant.  

A drink is placed on your table. You look up to see it was Jungkook.  

“Hi” he says quietly 

Ignoring him you go back to what you were doing. Sighing, he sits down at your table and puts a hand over your book. Looking up at him with an annoyed look on your face you puff out air from your nose with furrowed brows.  

“Do I know you?” you say in a sarcastic voice 

He scoffs at you and looks down at the floor. His elbow is resting on the table while the other is laid in his lap. “C’mon now don’t be like that”. He can’t be serious. After acting like he had no clue who you were and letting his friends treat you like trash he wants to act like you’re in the wrong.  

Furious, you pick up your things and try to walk out of the restaurant. Before you can make it out of the door you feel a hand tug on your arm. You stop in your tracks, and you hear Jungkook open his mouth to speak. Yet, nothing comes out. Turning around to face him and raise your eyebrows at him, waiting for him to say something.  

“Look, I came here so we could work on our project. I got you as my partner and I can’t fail this project.”  

Deciding not to be petty you oblige. You shake your head and walk back to the table you were sitting at.  

During the middle of working on your project Jungkook speaks up.  

“Um, look. You’re smart right? Do you think you can tutor me after school?” he asks out of the blue. You look up at him with a surprised look on your face. Should you really do this? After how he’s treated you? You think for a moment before you reply.  

“Okay” you tell him. There’s too much hate in this world. You take the nicer route and agree with him.  

He smiles. 

“Okay, great. What days are you available?” he asks. You begin to plan out the days you would tutor Jungkook and the days you’d be working with Mrs. Kim. This is more than you thought you’d take on. But if you power through, you would be okay.  

~ 

You told Jungkook you were available on the weekends and some days of the week. It was Saturday. You told him to meet you at the library at 8:00 a.m. The library opened an hour earlier than that, so you decided to show up a little earlier than planned to catch up on some of your other class assignments.  

When you look at the clock again it reads 8:17. He was late. Not having his phone number, you weren’t able to text him. It’s not when you hear the silent panting of someone coming up behind you that you begin to place your things back on the table.  

“I’m sorry I’m late. I woke up late and I completely forgot to set an alarm”  

You look down to the table and audibly sigh  

“It’s okay, let’s just start on this so you don’t have to be here as long as you should be”  

Finally caught up with his breath, he closes his mouth and stares at you. He takes his seat next to you and pulls out his textbooks. The book you had placed on the table had some loose papers in it. One of them being something for your eyes only. It fell on the floor, and you hadn’t noticed. Jungkook leans to pick it up. The only word he read at the top of the paper was ‘List’. Realizing what he had in his hand you snatch the paper from his hold.  

“What is that” he asks. “It’s a list of things I’d wish to do in my life” he nods his head and looks back down to his paper. “What’s so bad on the list that you grabbed it out of my hand like that?” You clear your throat and answer him. “There’s nothing bad, they’re just some things I’d like to do with the time that I have” Before he can ask what you mean you clap your hands quietly. “Let’s just start studying”  

Without pushing any further, he agrees.  

The next day at school you walk in and see Jungkook again. He’s standing with his friends by his locker. That same girl that bumped into you is standing next to him. You walk towards them. When you get closer, they’re all laughing at something you didn’t hear. You move your attention to Jungkook. “Jungkook, are we still on for Saturday?” you ask him. He looks around at his friends. They’re laughing at what you just said. 

He has a faint smile on his lips. He looks back up at you and says, “You wish”. You’re once again left, confused. You walk away and hear them all laughing again. “Oooh that’s gotta hurt.” Taehyung said. His arm wrapped around his girlfriend he starts laughing into his neck.  

~  Jungkook was on a late-night drive. There was a small garden just past the school library. Nobody went there except for old people and sometimes the gardeners to take care of the plants. “What the hell” he sees you make your way over to the entrance of the garden. He rolls his window down and yells out your name. 

You turn around scared half to death at the loud voice that just called your name. When you see Jungkook you continue your way over to the garden.  

“Hey! Wait!”. The engine of his car is turned off and you hear the slam of his door. He’s running up to you and you’ve slowed down your pace.  

“What are you doing out here so late? And why are you by yourself, there’s weird people out at this hour”  

“Well, that wouldn’t be a problem because according to your friends I’m placed under that category”  

You begin to make your way over to the flowers. There was a magnolia tree with a wooden bench underneath. Taking a seat under the tree some of the flowers fell off the stem and landed on the bench. Jungkook takes his seat next to you and looks up at the sky. Tonight was quiet. The rustling of the wind against the leaves of the tree is soothing.  

“Are you ever gonna tell me about that list?” 

You turn your head to him “Why would I? And why do you suddenly have any interest in me? What is it to you?”  

“I just want to be your friend; I know it’s been tough for you ever since you got her-” you cut him off before he can continue his sentence. “What the hell do you know? I’ve been treated like shit since I got to the school and it’s because of your friends.” 

He’s left speechless. His intention was never to make you feel like this. The reason why he acted like that is because his friends acted like that. Jungkook and Taehyung have always been friends. He would always follow Taehyung’s lead. They did everything together. Their friend group only expanded with the added years.  

He looks down in shame. Feeling guilty for the way he’s been treating you. You break the silence and switch to another topic.  

“That list” you say. This catches his attention as he looks up slowly and waits for you to continue.  

“I made it a few years ago. I want to try and fulfill it as much as I can” you smile down at your lap. Thinking about possibly doing the million things you wrote down on that piece of paper. “I want to visit a forest of cherry blossom trees. I’ve always had a fascination with them. They look so pretty, it’s a shame that they only bloom once out of the whole year. They don’t live that long. Just to experience them once would be amazing.” 

Jungkook sits and listens. “You’re really into mother nature. Huh?” he says. “It’s really great, how the Earth becomes so beautiful with the plants that surround us.” You smile at that. Looking around at the flowers planted in the grounds of the garden. You could talk endlessly about them.  

And you do that night with Jungkook.  

Out of nowhere in the comfort of the silence between you two he brings it up again.  

“What else is on that list? What’s the first one you have written down?” he asks curiously. You look down at your lap and smile.  

“That’s classified information Jeon Jungkook” you look up at him. Laughing and nodding his head he puts his hands up in the air.  

“Alright fine, then, what else is on there?” 

“Hmm” you think for a second.  

“I wanna experience love. The way they put it in movies. I want to experience that love so bad.” you sigh 

Jungkook looks at you and listens. “Another thing on that list is to learn how to cook. My mother makes it look so easy” you chuckle. 

“Okay what’s one more thing on there” he asks  

“I want to get a tattoo” 

The list went on and on and he sat there listening to you the whole night. 

Jungkook hears rustling in the bushes behind him. He brushes it off and looks at you as you speak about your passion for nature.  

~ 

Today was Jungkook’s birthday. It was also Saturday. You scheduled today to help tutor him. When he walks up to your front gate, he knocks on it and waits for someone to open it. Not expecting your father to open it, he gives Jungkook a glare. 

“What do you want and what are you doing here?” he says in a low voice. He’s heard a few words about the Jeon boy. The boy was a troublemaker. He didn’t do good in school, and he had nothing going for him except for being popular. Your father was skeptical, but when he hears you walk up to the gate, he settles down a bit, guard still put up high. 

“Dad, it’s okay. I invited him over; I told him I’d help him with his studies.” 

He looks over at you with confusion written all over his face. “Why are you doing that sweetheart? This boy is bad news” he points his finger at Jungkook, and he rolls his eyes.  

“Because Dad, there’s too much hate going around in this world. I think giving him a second chance is greater than having no chances at all.” you kiss him on the cheeks and only slightly agrees with you. You walk back to the house and wait for Jungkook to walk in.  

But your father stops him in his tracks. “Listen, if you try or do anything stupid with her, I’m kicking your ass. You understand?” Jungkook looks up at him and nods. He makes his way over to you quickly trying to ignore your father’s stare.  

~  When he enters your house, it’s filled with plants everywhere. A few boxes are left to be unpacked but the house is mostly filled. Entering your room, you have flowers decorating the walls of your room. Your window is open and looks out to a tiny garden in your backyard.  

The books spread around your floor are open to different pages about math. Jungkook had been struggling in it and considering your already high grade in calculus he should be in good hands.  

“I heard around school that it’s your birthday today. I stopped by Mrs. Kim’s and got you this.” You walk over to your kitchen and pull out a plastic bag. It was a bowl of miyeokguk. The seaweed soup that your mother cooks for you for your birthday every year. He looks up at you and smiles.  

“Thank you, you didn’t have to get me anything.” 

“Well it is your birthday. Everybody deserves something on their special day” you say cheerfully.  

Sighing you look down at the books on your floor and say, “Let’s get started shall we?”  

~ 

“You’ll never believe what I saw the other night” Sooha says. She pulls out her phone to show everyone what she was talking about. It was a picture of you and Jungkook sitting at the garden talking. “What the hell is he doing sitting and talking with her?” Taehyung laughs. “Yeah, I thought JK didn’t know her” Jimin says.  

“Yeah well looks like their best friends” Sooha pauses.  

“I have an idea” Ara says with a smirk on her face.  

“Come inside”  

She takes them to her room and opens her laptop. She pulls up an old picture of you from your old school. She had to do some digging to find it. The picture was of you at a dance. You had your makeup and hair done. And you were wearing a long silky blue dress. Ara clicks on it and begins planning out her idea. She crops your body out of the picture and pastes it onto a picture with a bed with red satin sheets on it.  

“This is gonna be so good” she chuckles 

~  Sitting in the library, you have a book in your hand about cherry blossom trees. It explains so much about things you hadn’t known about them, and your head is so deep into the book you don’t realize Jungkook pulling out a chair next to you. You look up to see him looking at you.  

“What are you reading?” You pull the book up close to his face so he can read it. “Ahh, the encyclopedia of the cherry blossom tree. Have you read anything more interesting about it?”  

“I read that they symbolize the beauty of both life and death. Spring is when they bloom and it’s the start of a new life. This is what I love so much about them, they have such beautiful meanings to them” 

“Hmm, that is really interesting” Jungkook says.  

You put your book down and furrow your brows at him. “What do you want Jeon, were in public you know? Someone can see you sitting here.” He scoffs and shakes his head. “Is it so hard to believe that I want to be friends with you? Maybe even something more, possibly? Why do you think I’ve spent so much time with you lately?” he raises his eyebrows at you this time. Trying to read your expression. You stare into his eyes and try to process the words that just came out of his mouth.  

After pausing, Jungkook leans in. His face close to yours, lips almost touching. His forehead leans against yours and he smiles. Jungkook closes his eyes and places a hand over your cheek. “I’ll see you after school tomorrow, okay?” he says under his breath.  

Taking a deep breath, you nod your head.  

~ 

During lunch the next day, you walked out of class to make your way to the roof of the school, where you always hung out, but you see Sooha from the corner of your eye. She walks up to you and places a hand on your arm.  

She calls out your name. “Hey, look. I need your help with something. Could you follow me to the courtyard please?” she asks in a soft tone.  

“Sure, but what for?” 

“Ugh enough with the questions already! Just follow me, it’ll be super quick.”  

“Um okay” 

As you make your way down the halls and to the exit of the building, you walk down the steps into the courtyard space where everyone was. When you get there, it becomes silent. All eyes are on you. Then, Jimin bursts out laughing. Taehyung is clutching his stomach because of how hard he’s laughing. Everyone has their phone in their hand, and they all point at it. “Oh?” Sooha says. She picks up Ara’s phone and shows it to you.  

“Is this you?” When you look at the phone, it’s a picture of you. It’s the picture from your junior year at your dance. Your body was laid on a red bed. Your clothes were edited to make it seem like you weren’t wearing anything. The text above the picture said ‘___ The Slut?’  

You feel a burning sensation behind your eyes. Your vision starts to become blurry. With everyone laughing at you; you turn around too embarrassed to be in front of anyone. But when you try to make it to the exit of the courtyard you bump into someone. You look up and you see Jungkook. “Hey, what’s wrong” he moves your hair out of your face and holds you cups your cheeks. He wipes your tears with his thumb.  

You hold on to his wrist and push him away. You run out, wishing the ground would swallow you whole. 

“Wait!” Jungkook yells after you. He turned around to see what had happened while he was gone.  

“What the hell did you do Sooha” he says furiously. He clenches his jaw and balls his hands up into a fist. Taehyung makes his way over to him with his arms crossed over his chest.  

“What JK? It was just a little bit of fun, what the fuck is wrong with you. You haven’t been hanging out with your real friends. You’re always spending time with the slut” he laughs.  

The amount of hate Jungkook feels in his blood right now is too much to handle. He’s never felt this angry towards someone. He rushes toward Taehyung and punches him on the cheek.  

“Jungkook!” Ara screams at him. Jungkook repeatedly hits him until he’s physically tired. Jimin reaches Jungkook’s shirt and pulls him away. “Enough man. He’s bleeding all over the place! Calm the fuck down!” It’s Jimin’s turn to yell, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about right now is finding you.  

He rushes his way out of the courtyard and runs in the direction he saw you walk away in.  

Finally spotting you in the front of the school he runs after you.  

“Hey!” he calls your name softly. After catching up to you he places his hands on your cheeks again.  

“What did they do? Huh? I swear to God, I’ll fucking hurt them even more if you tell me what’s wrong” Tears are streaming down your face. Seeing you cry makes him feel an ache in his chest. Jungkook tries his best to wipe them away. When you see his knuckles, they’re covered in blood. “Are you okay?” you ask him.  

“Baby, I’m fine. It’s you that I’m worried about right now.” 

You turn in his hold, but he refuses to let you walk away from him. He holds you by your arms and makes you look into his eyes. He quietly says your name. “Tell me what happened” he says in a low voice. You look up at him and completely break down.  

He pulls you in closer to his chest and wraps his arms around you gently. “They embarrassed me. So bad, I can’t do this right now.” you cry into his neck. He kisses the crown of your head and then your forehead. “I’m here, baby.” he says to you. Stroking the back of your head as you weep in his arms.  

~ 

Jungkook drove you home that day. After he parked in front of your house, he walked you to the front gate. Walking side by side you turn to face him. “Thank you for today, Jungkook. I don’t know how I’d repay you” you tell him. He looks down at you and smiles. “You don’t need to repay me, as long as you’re okay then I’m okay. Alright?” 

Nodding your head up at him you realize just how close your faces are. He looks down to your lips and back up to your eyes. His head leaning in slowly, hands placed lightly on your hips. Then, the buzzer of the gate opens and reveals your father.  

Standing, patiently he waited for you to come back inside the house. “Say goodnight to Mr. Jeon, sweetheart” he tells you. You look back to Jungkook and place a gentle hand on his cheek. “Goodnight” you say sweetly to him. He smiles down at you and says the same thing. After watching you walk through the doors of your house Jungkook looks at your dad. “Goodnight, sir.” He walks away and gets into his car. 

Later that night your phone starts to buzz with an incoming call. Picking up the phone you read the name. ‘Jungkook’ pops up on the screen and you slide the answer button. “Hey, what are you doing up so late?” you ask him with a tired voice. “I could ask you the same thing; I wasn’t sure if you’d even answer.” His heartbeat picks up at the thought of you in bed with drowsy eyes and cute pajamas on. “I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing” you chuckled at him. Butterflies erupt in your stomach thinking about him caring this much about you.  

“I’m doing just fine Jungkook, stop worrying so much. How’s your hand?” you say. You couldn’t help but think about what happened after you left the courtyard. Did he fight someone? 

“It’s been better”  

“What happened back there? Did you punch someone?” You ask, curious to know what had gone on. He sighs over the phone. He takes a deep breath before answering you. “Look, don’t worry about it alright? Knowing that your fine is enough for right now.”  

He looks up at the clock on his dresser and reads the time. It’s getting late and he feels bad for keeping you up at such an hour. “You should head to bed, it’s getting late.” Nodding your head, you agree with him. “You’re right, goodnight Jungkook.” 

“Before you go” he says and takes a moment to collect his thoughts and come up with something to say.  

“Um do you wanna, maybe, go out with me tomorrow?” He waits for you to answer. 

“I don’t think I can.” you tell him. His mood completely drops. His shoulders deflate as he tries to think of what to say next.  

“Oh”  

It’s silent for a moment. 

“Do you have something already planned for tomorrow or” he stops 

“I can’t date” you say softly, smiling even though he can’t see you.  

“I see” he says lost in thought.  

“Uh, you better get to sleep. I'm sorry for keeping you up” 

You laugh lightly. “Goodnight, Jungkook” you say for the last time.  

“Goodnight, sweetheart” 

~  Jungkook has tried his hardest to build up the courage to talk to your parents and get their blessing. He’s been spending a lot more time with you lately. Meeting you after school and walking to the garden together. Jungkook also, hasn’t built up the courage to confess how he feels about you.  

It’s driving him absolutely insane. But there was no way you hadn’t noticed it by now. He was so obvious. He always called you by petnames or he was always being touchy with you.  

One of the days he spent with you in the garden he brought a blanket and some food. Walking over to your usual meet up spot he sees you already sitting on the bench. Looking up at the leaves as they slowly fall. It was nearing the end of summer and fall was beginning to show itself.  

He couldn’t help but look at the way you sat there. Looking so effortlessly beautiful, you took his breath away. Walking up to you, you look up to see him with a bag and a basket clad in his hands. Your face lights up at the sight of him.  

Jungkook made you feel things you’ve never felt before, almost like you were sitting by a fireplace on a warm winter night, or cuddling in your blanket when the weather is rainy and gloomy outside. When he enters a room, your whole world completely lights up.  

The same goes for him. He can’t stop thinking about you whether it’s day or night. It’s every hour of the day that you occupy his mind. He’s so deeply infatuated with you it almost makes him sick with love.  

“Hi, baby,” he says. The petname makes your heart stop beating for a minute. You smile up at him and greet him back. “Hi,” you say with a sweet voice. He bends down to kiss your forehead and places the things down on the floor.  

Sneaking around behind your parents’ backs didn’t feel good but risking it all for him was worth it. “I brought a blanket and some food for us.” You giggle at his thoughtfulness. “Hmm, is today a special day or what?” you ask him. Feeling giddy as ever. “Nothing special, just felt like doing it” he shrugs his shoulders as he sets everything up.  

Moving down to the blanket laid over the grass you straighten out your white skirt and sit down. He sets the basket up next. Laying the food out for you, when he’s done, he moves to sit behind you and moves you, so you’re settled between his legs. Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, kisses your temple, and simply breathes in the air around you.  

Sinking into his touch, you feel like you’re on clouds. The feeling he sets in you is magical. You so badly want to lay your lips on his soft ones, the thought of it makes your heart do flips. Jungkook could easily be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.  

~ 

Today was the day. The day that Jeon Jungkook finally found the courage to ask your parents for their blessing. He's scared shitless of what their answer could be. He’s praying that he gets a positive answer from them so he can finally give you something that you deserve. Taking a deep breath, he reaches the front of your gate once again.  

You were out today; you had told him you wanted to explore more of the town and spend some time with Mrs. Kim. He found this the perfect opportunity to come to your house and ask what he’s been dying to ask. He knocks on the gate to get your father’s attention. When the gate opens he’s met with your father and mother.  

Eyes flickering up and down at the boy. His heart is racing. Remembering what he was here for, he clears his throat and says, “Mr. and Mrs. __, I’d like to ask your permission to take your daughter out. I know she’s not allowed to date. But she deserves to be treated with the utmost respect and shown the love that she’s always desired for” he waits patiently for their response.  

They turn their heads to each other and close the gate. A strong rush of dissapointment washes over him as he starts to make his way back to his car. Heartbeat picking up he hears the rustling of the gate reopening and he hears your father yell for his name. “Mr. Jeon.”  

Jungkook turns his body so he’s facing your parents. “Yes, sir,” he says in a strong voice. “We will let you take our daughter out, only if you promise us you will never hurt her. And promise her you will fulfill her needs.” Elated, is what Jungkook feels. He feels like he’s on top of the world right now. A smile appears on his lips and falls to his knees and bows down to them. Not caring that his clothes are getting dirty.  

“I promise you both, I will take care of her.” he says.  

~ 

It’s the next day, you sat in Jungkook’s car still in disbelief that he got your parent’s blessing. “I can’t believe you did that for me” you look over at him with a fond smile. He places his hand over yours and brings it to his lips. “Baby, you don’t understand how long it took me to bring myself to them. I practically begged them.” he chuckles.  He pulled a bag out from behind your seat.

"What is it?"

"Open it up and see" he smiles

When you open the bag you see a pastel blue cardigan with butterflies and flowers decorating the hem of it.

"Oh, Jungkook you didn't have to"

"But I wanted to. I saw it and thought it'd look pretty on you" too shy to look at you he looks down at his lap and played with his hands

He planned out the perfect day for you. He couldn’t wait to spend it with you.  

Getting out of the car Jungkook made reservations for a restaurant that was way out of his budget. He had a little help from his mom and made sure to pay her back every cent. He holds your hand in his and guides you to your table. Pulling your chair out, he takes his own seat and scans over the menu. 

“Anything catch your eye? Order whatever you want” he tells you.  

Lips curling at the corners of your mouth you read through the different selections.  

~  Dinner was amazing. The waiter came to pick up your plates and Jungkook took you to an empty parking lot. “What are we doing?” Looking around and see no one in sight. “You said you wanted a tattoo, right?” From the front compartment of his car, he pulls out the fake tattoos you used to use when you were little. From the corner of his eye, he sees the biggest smile grow on your face.  

“Which one do you want?” scanning through the different types of tattoos.  

“Pick one for me” you tell him.  

He picked a cherry. Looking up at you he sees stars twinkle in your eyes as you look at him. “Where do you want it?” You pull down the neck of your sweater and show a bit of your chest. Right above your heart. Jungkook tears the tattoo out and gets a towel that was lying in his car and a water bottle. He dabs it over the tattoo where he placed it on over your heart. Pulling the paper back the print of the cherry is laying on your skin.  

He rubs his finger over it gently and looks at you. Averting your gaze, you start to feel nervous. Only Jungkook can make you feel like this.  

~  Jungkook wouldn’t tell you your next destination. He told you it would be quite a drive. So, you laid your head back and took a small nap. Jungkook placed his hand over your thigh and drove you to wherever he was taking you.  

It wasn’t until you opened your eyes; you saw a big white arch away. It was surrounded by cherry blossom trees. Jungkook looks over at your face. Smiling the biggest smile, you unbuckle your seatbelt and open the car door. Running up to the entrance you jump up and down giggling.  

Jungkook walking slowly with his hands in his pocket he watches you.  

“Oh my God! Oh my God! There’s so pretty!” you almost feel tears start to build up in your eyes. You can’t believe Jungkook drove all this way. He walks up next to you and tangles his hand in yours. “You wanna go see it?” he says, lips turned up into a smile. Nodding your head eagerly, you practically drag him over.  

Slowing down your pace you look around at the beautiful trees. The white and pinkish leaves fall into your hair. There’s a bridge that you stop at. In the middle of it, Jungkook places a hand on your cheek and turns your attention to him. You look up at him with those eyes. Eyes that he absolutely adores. He says your name softly and pulls you closer to you. “Do you like it? I tried so hard looking for them.” he tells you.  

“Jungkook, this is like, a dream come true. I can’t believe you did this, thank you so much.” You pull him in for a hug and dig your face into his neck. His hold around you tight as he closes his eyes and soaks in the moment.  

When you pull away your faces are close, lips to point they’re basically touching. He cups your cheeks with his hand and says, “I need to tell you something” you hum in response. He takes a deep breath in and finally spits out what he’s been holding in for a while.  

“I love you” your heart stops.  

You look into his eyes and scan his face. Looking at the little mole under his lip. And the scar that grazes his upper cheek. 

“Can I kiss you?” you ask him  

He only nods and slowly pulls your face closer to his. Noses brushing softly against each other. Your lips graze each other softly. Then, he slots them together. Connecting them. You feel a rush of blood go to your head. Your cheeks are warm and flushed with red. The sounds around you are the streaming water beneath your feet, the rustling wind against the leaves. And birds chirping in the trees.  

The leaves are falling on top of you. This moment couldn’t be any more perfect.  

~ 

On the drive home Jungkook held your hand the whole way there. Music played softly in the background and the windows rolled down to let in a gentle breeze.  

When you arrive at the gate of your house, he parks his car in the same spot that he does every time he visits. Walking up to the front your hand is warm in his. You stop and turn to him. “So, what does that make us?” you ask smiling up at him.  

“Well, I thought it was kinda obvious. You just want me to say it, huh?” He laughs at you. Nodding your head, you wait for him to say what you want to hear. “That makes you my girlfriend” he wraps his arms around your neck and gives your nose a little peck. You scrunch up your nose smile. You’ve been smiling the whole day your face is starting to hurt.  

“Then you’re my boyfriend” you giggle. He leans in and places his lips on yours. He smiles into the kiss, and you can feel it against your lips. The gate opens and reveals your father. Who has been waiting for you to come home. “Oh, hi dad” you say. “Honey, why don’t you come inside. It’s getting late and it’s cold” You sigh and turn back to Jungkook.  

“Bye” you place a peck on his lips. “Goodnight, baby.” he says and looks up at your father and walks back to his car. Once you’re on the other side of the gate your dad stops you for a moment. “Have you told him?” Smile dropping you look down to the floor.  

“Not yet” 

“Don’t make this harder for him or for yourself sweetheart” 

“I love him dad and he love me. I’ll get there eventually” 

~  At school, you’re walking hand in hand with your boyfriend. Walking past his (ex) friends, they all have their eyes on you. Sooha has an irritated look on her face. But walking past them made you feel more confident in yourself. Being with Jungkook like this made you confident.  

Walking into the library you and Jungkook take a seat by the window and just sit in comfortable silence. Your legs are over his on the small couch and you’re reading your books about cherry blossoms again. That day that he took you to see the cherry blossoms, he had kept a pedal that fell from the tree and kept it in a glass container. It’s a day he’ll never forget. It’s the day he got to tell his lover that he loved her and made her his. He’s so eternally grateful to whatever god that sent you to him.  

He was on his phone when he suddenly broke the silence.  

“Baby?” He calls for your attention.  

You hum in response, and he continues. “You wanna come over after school today? My mom said she wanted to meet you. You don’t have to if you're not ready or comfortable yet though. I was just suggesting” he says it as the words spill out of his mouth faster than you can comprehend.  

You laugh at his cuteness. Thinking over about how meeting his mom would go. It would be lovely if you got to meet the person that made Jungkook the person he is today.  

“Yeah, sure. That’d be great. Just tell me what time and I’ll be there.” you say softly. A wave of relief washes over him. He was worried you’d be too scared to reject him. “Alright” he pauses for a moment. “Okay, I’ll pick you up at six then?” Your lips curl up, delighted to finally meet his family. You nod your head in response and continue with your book. 

Jungkook places his hand over your thigh and looks down at his phone again.  

~  Looking at yourself in the mirror, you fix your hair one last time and touch up your makeup. You wanted to make yourself presentable in front of Jungkook’s mom. It’s not that you were scared of meeting her, you scared of what she might think of you. Straighten out your dress one last time your thoughts are broken by the doorbell ringing.  

When you leave your room you see your mom answer the door. “Oh hi, Jungkook are you here to pick up ___?” Letting him in he walks past her and waits by the door for you. “Yeah, we're going back to my place. We're just gonna eat dinner there.” He explains. “Ah okay, well have fun. I’ll go grab her and tell her you’re here” she says. Before she can move, you emerge from the corner of your room and Jungkook sets his eyes on you. He smiles at you and pulls you in by your waist to hug you. “Hi, baby,” he says, feeling giddy at the thought of you. Telling your mom goodnight and that you’ll be back soon; Jungkook guides you with a hand on your back towards his car. He opens the door for you like the gentleman he is and walks around the car to get into the driver’s seat.  

When you stop at a red light the silence between you two is broken by him. “How are you feeling?” he asks you. To be completely honest you were scared shitless. Afraid of what she might think of you. Afraid that she thinks you’re not enough for her son. Afraid that you’ll give off the wrong impression. Jungkook cuts off your thoughts by placing a kiss on your wrist.  

“Baby?”  

Coming back to reality you giggle softly. “Sorry, um.” You take a moment to collect your thoughts. “To be honest with you. I’m terrified.” You speak about your insecurities. Thinking about meeting his mother. You know you fully agreed to this earlier. But the drive to his house has become surreal to you now.  

“She’ll love you I promise. But no matter what, if she doesn’t like you; know that I love you okay? Never forget that.” Calming your mind down, you nod your head and settle in silence for the rest of the car ride.  

~ 

Jungkook walks around the car again to open your door. You thank him and look at his house. It wasn’t too big, but it wasn’t too small. It was the perfect size. Walking up to the front door, he unlocks it, and your heart picks up once again. You walk through the door and investigate the living room.  

His little brother is sitting on the couch watching TV. His youngest sister was sitting on the floor watching whatever her brother was. Jungkook was the eldest out of the three. His siblings being much younger. You walk into the living room and Jungkook yells out to his siblings. “Guys, turn off the TV for a minute. I want you to meet someone.”  

They both turn to look at you and you smile down at them. “This is my girlfriend, ___. This is Jungwoo and Jungha.” Cute. All of their names start the same way, you think. Jungha walks up to you. She seems to only be around four years-old and Jungwoo looks to be about seven. “It’s nice to meet you both” you softly smile at them.  

Jungha tugs on your sleeve and looks up at you. “Are you a princess?” she asks. Your heart melts at the sweet little voice. “She’s not a princess! She’s not wearing a crown!” Jungwoo exclaims from where he sat. You giggle at them, and then you hear footsteps come up from behind you.  

Turning around you see Jungkook’s mother. You’re a nervous wreck when you first see her face. You politely bow to her and greet her.  

“It’s nice to finally meet you Mrs. Jeon”  

“Oh, honey please stand up.” She motions for you to stand straight 

“No need for formalities, I hope you’re hungry. I made a lot of food tonight!” She smiles at you and walks back to the kitchen.  

Okay, this isn’t going as badly as you thought it’d go. You walk back to the living room with Jungkook to chat some more with his siblings. You sit down on the floor and Jungkook sits behind you on the couch. “So, Jungha. How old are you?” you ask the little girl.  

She looks up from her toys and holds up four fingers in front of your face “I’m four!” Her small voice makes your chest ache from how cute she is. She goes back to her dolls and plays with them again. You turn your attention to Jungwoo and start a conversation with him.  

“What about you Jungwoo?” you ask him. “I turned eight last month” You were only off by a year. This time he asks you a question. “Why are you with my brother? He’s annoying and he never lets me in his room” he pouts with his arms crossed over his chest.  

“Well, I think Jungkook is amazing. You should cut him some slack. I’m sure he’s a great brother!” you tell him. Jungkook leans down and kisses the crown of your head as he looks at the TV. Your arms are laid in your lap and his are wrapped around your neck.  

“Yeah, cut me some slack. I try my best!” he says to his younger brother.  

“I guess” Jungwoo rolls his eyes. You laugh at him and advert your eyes to the youngest one in the room again. She looks up at you and places a doll in your lap. “Will you play with me? You can be the princess!”  

You happily oblige and play with her until dinner is ready.  

~ 

At the table, Jungkook’s mother places the food around it. “Wow, Mrs. Jeon this looks amazing. Thank you so much for having me over” you say to her. She smiles back at her as she puts food on the little ones’ plates. “It’s no problem sweetie. Now please tell me more about yourself! All I hear from Jungkook is ‘my girlfriend is amazing’ and ‘I can’t wait for you to meet her’." She giggles. Hearing this makes your heart swoon. He talks about you like that?  

“Well, um. I’m new to town. My parents and I moved here just this summer.” you say.  

“Oh! How exciting! Where did you move from?”  

“Seoul, my parents wanted to get away from the city and thought it was better to move to some place smaller.” Talking about Seoul makes you miss it. Seoul is the place you grew up in. You didn’t have many friends over there, but you still managed to have some.  

“Well, Yongsan is small, but everyone knows everyone and it’s a great community all around.” She reassures you.  

Thinking back on your school experience you highly doubt that it’s great at all. You only smile at her. As the night goes on, embarrassing childhood stories about Jungkook may have slipped out here and there. Spending your time with them was refreshing. You adored his family. This is something you wished for in the future.  

On the way back to your house the car is silent. You think back to the events of tonight and reminisce.  

“So, how do you feel now?” Jungkook says 

“I feel content with tonight. I love your family. They’re so adorable. I wish I could come over a lot more often.” you say with a small smile on your lips.  

“Well, you can. Come over as much as you want, baby” He looks over at you and you nod. Your smile slightly fading.  

~ 

At the garden, Jungkook told you to meet him there after school. He told you he had a surprise. On your way over you pass by Sooha. Not caring about the way, she looked at you, you make your way over to your lover. He stood over the magnolia tree with a cover over the bench.  

Eyebrows furrowed you walk over to him and hug him. You tilt your head so you’re now looking up at him. He places his soft lips against yours and pulls something out of his bag.  

It’s the cherry blossom pedal that he kept from the day that he took you to go see them. You gasp, looking at what occupied his hand. “What is this?” you question. “It’s a pedal from the cherry blossoms I took you to see.” Those butterflies in your stomach bloom from within once again. You feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have such an amazing boyfriend.  

Jungkook has given you love that you’ve never experienced before. You want to thank whoever sent him to you forever. Grabbing the pedal, you hold it close to your chest. “Thank you honey,” you say under your breath and connect your lips together. Every touch of his lip is like a spark of electricity. You can never get enough of it.  

“I also did something else” He takes a hold of the cloth that was covering. On the bench, there’s a gold tag right in the middle. The engraving read ‘I love you for all eternity –J' you stand there, at a loss for words. He got this done for you? You start to feel tears burn at your waterline. Everyone in the world deserved a Jungkook. Wiping the tears from your eyes you rush into him and wrap your arms around his neck.  

“I can’t believe you did this” you muffle into his chest. He wraps his arms around your waist and digs his face into the crook of your neck.

“Do you like it?” looking down at you.  

“I fucking love it Jeon Jungkook” you laugh and kiss his lips again. This time the kiss lasts longer. Lips moving against each other with so much passion; moving slowly together. You’ve never been happier.  

~ 

Jungkook sat at his desk in his room and his mom walked through his door. “Honey?” She catches his attention. He hums in response.  

“I was cleaning out your room and I found this sitting on your dresser. I swear I wasn’t snooping but I was reading and” she pauses and opens it up. Jungkook wasn’t mad at her. He just sits and sighs as he waits for his mom to read what he wrote down.  

“It says study hard enough to get into college. Okay, reasonable, next one says read the encyclopedia of cherry blossom trees. The last one says, major in Botany? Since when were you into plants and nature?”

Jungkook walks up to her and rips the paper from her hand. “It’s a list I wrote up in the middle of the night the other day. ___ is my inspiration behind it.” He says with a fond smile.  

She’s never seen her son this happy and in love before. It’s truly the sweetest thing she’s ever seen. Such young love between the two. Her son’s happiness makes her a whole lot happier.  

~ 

One day, Jungkook gets a sudden call from you. He hasn’t been with you in the past few days due to you being away for some reason. He never questioned it, not wanting to push you to your limits. Over the phone you tell him that you needed to tell him something.  

You told him to meet you at your spot at around 8:00. It was usually dark by then and he was getting worried about you being there by yourself as you waited for him. When he pulls up next to the parking lot near the garden, he hurriedly makes his way over to you. You were sitting on the bench waiting for your boyfriend to show up.  

“Hey, baby, what’s going on? Are you okay?” he says in a soft voice. He takes your hand in his and pulls you closer to him. Jungkook looks at your face and notices your red puffy eyes. Have you been crying? Getting even more worried, he cups your cheeks, so your head is tilted towards him.  

“Hey, whatever it is we’ll get through it, alright? Please, tell me what the hell is going on” he weeps, Jungkook can feel his hands start to shake. Were you going to break up with him? Were you moving again? All these questions build up in Jungkook’s mind and he can’t stop thinking about the worst. Until it comes. You look down and a tear drops into your lap. The soft sniffles that come from you make his heart sink. He pulls you closer to him and you sob into his shoulders.  

“I should’ve told you this sooner” you say quietly 

“Tell me what, baby? What should you have told me?” He starts to panic. He’s completely clueless of what you’re trying to tell him. 

And then.  

It spills from your mouth.  

“I’m sick” Jungkook’s world stops to a halt.  

“Okay, let’s take you home and you’ll feel better”  

“No, Jungkook.” you pause 

“I’m sick”  

“No, you can’t be sick, y-you're perfect. That’s not possible.”  

You try to contain your tears, but they keep falling.  

“That’s why I haven’t seen you for the past few days. I was at the hospital for my checkup. I have a heart condition and it doesn’t allow my blood to flow correctly and it restricts me from doing a lot of things. I’ve had it since I was ten. This means I’d have to stay home and at the hospital a lot more.”  

Jungkook couldn’t hold it in anymore. He felt mad. He felt mad at the world. This couldn’t be happening 

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” His voice raises an octive 

“Because! This!” you point your hand between the both of you.  

“Because we were doing so good. This was going so well. I didn’t want to tell you because it would ruin things.” You stand up from the bench. And turn your back on him. “I’m sorry” you say under your breath. You run in the direction of your house.  Jungkook doesn’t let his tears loose until he’s back in his car. He feels furious. Not at you but at the situation.  

“Fuck!” He punches his steering wheel and sobs into his hand. He’s never felt so helpless.  

~ 

Jungkook needed time to think about what had just happened in the last few hours. How could you not have told him sooner? He feels guilty for not knowing. He’s made you do so many things not knowing the risk he’s putting you in. He was out on a drive, no location in mind. He continued down the road mindlessly.  

He doesn’t realize where he’s at until he stops the car. He’s in front of the cherry blossom trees. Maybe being here was good for him. There was a store right next to the exhibition. They had everything cherry blossom related. He walks through the entrance of the store and scans around.  

There was a man standing behind the counter. He watches as the young boy walks through his store looking around. “Hey, you” he says. Jungkook turns his head to him and walks to the counter. “Are you looking for something?” Jungkook pauses and looks at the wall behind the man. There were pictures of cherry blossoms all over. He notices a plant behind him. He lifts his finger and points at and asks, “What is that?”. The man turns around and carries the plant to his counter. 

“This is a cherry blossom plant” Without hesitation Jungkook pulls his wallet out and makes an exchange with the man.  

On the way back to Yongsan, you were all that occupied Jungkook’s mind. He was worried like crazy about you. The thought of you sitting in bed not being able to do anything causes an ache in your chest. From now on, he promises that he’ll stay by your side for all eternity. He prays to the gods above to keep you down here with him until you grow old.  

He promises to take care of you until he can’t anymore. 

~ 

You’re sitting in your bed reading a book. The clouds have covered the sky, and the air is a bit cold. All your medication is set next to your bedside table. Jungkook drove all the way to your house after visiting the cherry blossom tree. He stood under the arch of your door and knocked on the door twice.  

You look up from your book and he walks over to you. The sight he sees is making his stomach turn. You don’t deserve to live your life like this. You were still so young. You had your whole life ahead of you. Jungkook sits at the edge of your bed and holds your hand. He brings it up to his lips and kisses the back of it. He leans in to kiss your forehead and then your nose.  

Leaning his forehead against yours he speaks in a quiet tone. “Hi, honey. How are you feeling?” Trying to keep the mood positive you smile at him and say, “I’m doing great how about you?” He knows when you’re lying. But he only laughs and response to your question. “I’m doing good, baby.” he pauses for a moment. “I, um, I bought you something.” You look at him curiously. “What did you get me?”  

You tug the blanket away from your lap and you sit up properly. Jungkook holds your hands and carefully pulls you up. He brings you over to your window that looks out to the garden in your backyard. You see a little plant growing from the soil.  

It was a cherry blossom tree.  

Your heart swells with love as you realize what he has done for you, once again. You turn your body to him to engulf him in a hug. Burying your face into his neck, his scent brings you such comfort. You wish you could keep that scent with you forever. You place your hands over his cheeks and lock your lips with his. “Thank you, for everything. I love you so much.” Pecking his lips again. You’ve never been so full of love in your life.  

~  Today’s weather matched perfectly with today’s events. Your doctor told you it would be best if you got out and took in some fresh air. You spent your time with Jungkook in the garden and talked for hours. He brought you so many snacks and a blanket like he did all those months ago. You sat cuddled in front of him as he rested his back against the bench. His head rested against yours as you spent your time talking about anything.  

Jungkook brings up your list again.  

“Are you ever gonna tell me about number one?” he says into your ear. You giggle as you think about it.  

“Alright, I guess I have to tell you" You playfully roll your eyes. Jungkook pinches your waist and you burst out laughing.  

“Okay! Okay! Do want to know or not!” you say 

“Fine, I’ll stop. So, tell me”  

“The very first thing I put on that list is for something I need to do after.” It becomes silent. Jungkook thinks for a moment, letting your words sink in.  

After? 

There shouldn’t be an after. Life wasn’t fair to you. That’s all Jungkook knew.  

“And what is that baby?” he pulls you closer to his chest. Afraid that you’d disappear if he didn’t hold you tight enough.  

“I want to become a butterfly. I want my wings to grow strong and healthy so I’m free. I want you to look for me. I’ll show you so many signs that I’m with you. Always.” You turn in his arms and place a delicate hand over his heart. Jungkook can’t help the stinging sensation he feels in the back of his eyes. He pulls you in for a soft kiss.  

Lips moving slowly against one another. He can’t imagine his life without you in it. He’s not ready to let you go.  

You entangle your fingers in his slightly curly hair. You kiss the corners of his mouth and then his nose. You look at the tiny mole just under his nose. Cute.  

“You know I love you, right?” you say to him. The tears that fall from his eyes fall to his chin. You reach up and wipe them away. He takes hold of your wrist and kisses your palm. 

You’re going to be alright.  

With him by your side.  

~ 

Jungkook was out in the yard of his house watching his siblings play as his mom was getting dinner ready. He hears a car approach his driveway. It’s Jimin. He stands up from the step to his front door and walks over to his car. Jimin closes the door, and he walks up to Jungkook.  

His little siblings yelling at each other in their own little world. Jimin walks past them and smiles. He looks up at Jungkook and pats him on the back. Jimin and Jungkook were always closer than he and Taehyung. They basically grew up together. “I heard about __, I’m sorry” He looks down at his shoes and places his hands in his pockets “It must’ve been hard hearing that” Jungkook scoffs. Knowing that he has, who knows how much time with you is literally tearing him up inside. “Yeah, I mean I’m trying to spend as much time with her as I can, you know. Being without her right now is just killing me,” he says in a low voice.  

“Look, she’s going to get better. Stop thinking about the worst, just enjoy what you have right now, and don’t think about what could happen or what could’ve been. She needs you right now and you need to be strong for her. She’d trying her best for you.” he says softly. Jimin was always that friend you could go to for anything. He was one of Jungkook’s comfort people.  

“You’re right. Yeah, sorry. This is just so much information for me to take in. I can’t lose her, man” With a heavy heart Jungkook tries his hardest to not break down. Especially in front of his siblings. They’ve grown attached to you after you’ve visited them so many times.  

They’re always asking for you or wondering how you’re doing. It’s the sweetest thing. Jimin ended up staying for dinner. He hadn’t been over since the fight with Taehyung. He’s just glad that he has his best friend back.  

~ 

Jungkook’s never been this worried in his life. He’s called you multiple times and has sent over a hundred texts in the last hour. You haven’t responded to him at all. He decided to make the drive to your house to see what was going on. When he got there, he could’ve sworn his heart stopped beating; there were ambulence trucks parked outside of your house. He rushed over to investigate what was going on.  

He saw your father sitting on the doorstep of the house, with his head in his hands, hanging low.  

“Jungkook” he says  

“What happened? Where is she? In a panicked voice Jungkook walks into your house and looks for you. You’re nowhere to be seen.  

“They took her to the hospital. She was outside watering the plants and she collapsed. They said her heart is in critical condition.” Jungkook storms out of the house and speeds his way to the hospital. No way in hell is he letting you stay by yourself right now.  

He speeds through traffic lights, not caring if he gets caught. He needs to see you, now.  

~  He pushes through people to get to the front desk. “Excuse me do you have ___ ___ here. She was admitted not too long ago” he frantically asks the lady. She types into her computer and searches for your name.  

“Yes, we do. She’s in room seven.”  

“Thank you”  

Slowing down his pace he scans through the different doors. Being here makes his stomach sick. You’re supposed to be in bed at home. With him. Not in a hospital with sick patients all over the place.  

When he finally finds your room, he looks through the small window of the door. Your eyes are closed. He walks through the door, slowly as he approaches your bed. Your skin is pale, and they have you hooked to an oxygen tank. Jungkook makes his way to the side of your bed, and he breaks down sobbing. His hands shake as he takes your hand into his. Your skin is cold. Not like how he’s used to; he brings it to his lips and tries to warm them up with his breath.  

The motion wakes you up. You crack your eyes open slowly and meet Jungkook’s gaze. You place your hands on top of Jungkook’s hair, comforting him. His eyes are puffy from how much he’s crying. He cried on the way to the hospital just thinking about your condition.  

“Hi, honey” your voice comes out week. You slightly furrow your eyebrows as you take in his features.  

“Why are you crying?” Your hand making its way down to his cheek to wipe away his tears. He laughs quietly and looks down at the bed.  

“I’m glad you’re doing okay. I should’ve brought you something, but I was in a hurry. I was so worried about you I wasn’t thinking properly.” he says with guilt laced in his voice. He should’ve been there with you.  

“Baby, stop beating yourself up, there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent me from ending up in here. I’m okay. See?” you make silly moves, and this gets him to smile even bigger. He leans over to kiss your forehead.  

“Don’t scare me like that again, okay?”  

“I promise”  

~ 

Jungkook came to visit you every day. They still told you they needed to run some more tests on you to monitor your condition. Until then you were stuck in the small hospital bed. Jungkook would stop by before and after school until it became late into the night. He brought you snacks, plushies, some of your clothes, and stories that happened to him at school or about Jungha and Jungwoo.  

You missed them so much. You haven’t seen them in weeks and Jungkook tells you that they keep asking for you. He also told you they prayed that you would soon get better so you could play with them again. The thought makes your heart melt.  

Jungkook has never left your side since the day you got admitted. He waits day and night for you to come back home to him.  

The TV was playing as you read your book (that Jungkook brought you) and he sits in the chair next to you as he’s on a call with his siblings. His hand is placed over your thigh, and he rubs back and forth gently.  

“I wanna say hi to __” you here Jungha’s voice. You peek your head from the corner of the screen, and she screams loudly out of joy.  

“Hi Jungha” you say softly with a smile spread across your face. She lets go of the phone and all you see is the ceiling. In the background you can hear her running around giggling. Her little face appears on the screen again and she yells “Hi __! I miss you sooooo much. Please come back soon!”  

With a fond smile you look at her and say “I’ll try very hard to come back healthy for you sweetie. Make sure you listen to your mom and Jungkook while I’m away” you tell her.  

“I always do! I’m a big girl!”  

You laugh at her silly antics. Saying goodbye to her Jungkook hangs up the phone and looks at you. You return to your book and feel Jungkook’s stare on the side of your face.  

Laughing, you look at him with confusion on your face.  

“What?” you say softly.  

He takes several minutes before he speaks.  

“Marry me” 

This takes you completely off guard. He wants you to marry him? There’s a warmth that spreads across your chest as you try to comprehend what just came out of his mouth.  

“What?” it comes out as a whisper.  

“Marry me __” he says in all seriousness. He’s never been so sure of something until he met you. You were his everything. He wanted to spend his life with you.  

A small smile appears on your lips.  

“Okay” His heartbeat picks up at your answer. He’s never loved someone as much as he loved you. He had already asked for your parents' blessing, and they surprisingly agreed.  

He was finally able to spend the rest of forever with you.  

~  They finally discharged you for one day. Having to beg and beg for them to let you out, they finally gave in.  

Today was a cool spring day. The flowers are starting to bloom wildly, and the trees finally have their color back after the winter season. You and Jungkook planned everything over the course of two weeks. You wanted to have something small. The place you both chose was a little greenhouse chapel not too far from where you lived.  

Your mother helped with your makeup and hair. The dress you wore was hers. It was an off the shoulder plain dress. You didn’t want anything too fancy, but nothing too little. It was perfect.  

As you wait to walk down the aisle you see everyone sitting in their seats. Mrs. Kim was sitting with her husband near the front where the altar was. Jimin was sitting with Jungha and Junwoo with their mother. Your father had his armed hooked with yours as he waited to walk you down the aisle. The bouquet of flowers clads in your hand you hear the music begin to play. The song ’Try Again’ starts to play in a ballad.  

At the end of the aisle, you see Jungkook. His hair is long enough to touch his eyebrows and his hands are crossed over his front. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears as he sees you standing there. You looked gorgeous in your dress. Walking down the aisle you see Jungha and Junwoo peek behind the chairs as they see you. Jungha has a huge smile on her face as she finally gets to see you.  

You smile at both of them and turn your head back to your lover. Your dad places your hand into Jungkook’s and returns to his seat next to your mother. Jungkook had tears building up behind his eyes. He can’t believe he’s marrying the love of his life today.  

“You may now be seated as we begin the ceremony of these two” everybody takes their seats, and the room becomes quiet.  

“Now, let’s begin.” He clears his throat.  

You look over to Jungkook and he mouths the words ‘I love you’ and you mouth them back.  

“Do you Jungkook take ___ to be your wife?”  

“I do”  

“And do you ___ take Jungkook to be your husband.”  

“May I have the rings please” Jungwoo emerges from his seat and walks up to the two of you. The pastor bends down slightly to take them from his hand. “Thank you” he smiles at him.  

He cutely runs back to his seat and places his hands in his lap.  

“Repeat after me Jungkook. I Jungkook” 

“I Jungkook”  

“Take you ___, to be my wife” 

He repeats after him. He says the same thing to you. He gives each of you your rings and tells you to place them on one another’s finger.  

“I know pronounce you husband and wife; you may now kiss the bride”  

Jungkook pulls you in by your waist and kisses you deeply. You feel a smile spread across your face as you kiss your husband.  

This was the happiest day of your life.  

3 years later  

Jungkook was sitting under the magnolia tree you used to meet up at. He had a piece of paper and a pen in his hand.  He spent most of his days here thinking. His favorite time of the day is when he gets to spend his time at your spot talking to you. The pen hits the piece of paper he holds in his hand and he begins to write

My baby,  

It’s been a long year once again without you by my side. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. You're always on my mind, I’ve started classes and learned a lot of new things about flowers and nature. Now I see why you loved them so much. The tree outside of your house has grown a lot more. The pretty white leaves you loved so much are starting to show. I hope you're doing well. I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. I wish every day that you would come back to me. I miss hearing your laugh, I miss your smile, I miss your beautiful face that lights any room you walk into, and most of all I miss hearing your beating heart next to mine

Jungha started school recently. She said that she would make you a painting whenever she felt sad, and I’d put it them next to my desk. I have a drawer full of them now. I told her that you would come in at night to check up on us and you’d plant kisses so light that she doesn’t feel them when she’s sleeping. She asks and talks about you a lot every day. Sometimes I run out of things to say to her. and just tell her that you’ll be back with us one day. But i can’t lie to her. I think she misses you as much as I do Jungwoo’s doing pretty well too. We’ve gotten closer these past few years. He misses you a whole lot too. We all do. Everyone is doing well; I hope you’re resting well now. Sometimes I dream that you're next to me. Telling me that everything is going to be okay.  

And I think it will be. Everything will be okay as long as you’re close to me.  

I love you, baby.  

Jungkook looks up and sees a beautiful bright blue butterfly land on top of the paper. It flies away and a smile spreads across his face 

Everything will be okay 

~

a/n: AHHH IM CRYING. gosh writing this was such a rollercoaster. the fluff was too much for me to handle 😣. i hope you guys enjoyed this one. this was my favorite to write bc it’s after my favorite movie!! i hope i didn’t make yall cry 😭. ughhh i love their story so much.

[episims]

Foxfire ROS

After playing Foxfire for 9 rounds I've started to feel like I could use something to nudge me out of my routines a bit! For the next round, I'm going to try how adding random scenarios to the mix feels like 😁

I didn't find any existing scenario lists to be exactly what I wanted: more gameplay prompts that leave room for interpretation, and not so many strict rules or tasks or forced drama (my sims create enough of that as it is lol).

So I cherry-picked some scenarios that I liked, edited others, and created many new ones. A shout-out to @kayleigh-83 for this list that was a great starting point!

Night out: Visit a community lot after dark.

Bring your own basket: Visit a park with family or friends.

Movie marathon: Invite friends over for movies and snacks, or go on a movie binge by yourself.

Family matters: Invite over a relative or someone you share a similar bond with.

Fits like a glove: Wear a new accessory.

Games night: Set up a board game or fire up a console for an evening. PC owners can throw a lan party.

Burn off steam: Devote a day to exercising in any form.

Playing hooky: A child or teen skips one school day.

Online friends: Spend an evening chatting over the internet.

Fence-mending: Talk to a walkby you don't know or have a low relationship with.

Fertile ground: Get a new plant to your garden or other outdoor area.

Pulling strings: Use influence to your advantage.

Tired of cooking: Order delivery for a meal.

Peculiar flavor: The sim with the least cooking points takes the cooking turn.

Sprucing up: Choose a room or space and give it a facelift.

Touch base: Call the friend you currently have the lowest relationship score with.

Dine out: Eat at a restaurant.

New hobby: Try out a hobby you haven't explored before.

Broken record: Talk about your favorite hobby to every sim you encounter during one day.

Slumber party: Invite friends for a sleepover.

Power outage: Turn off all the lights except for candles and only make uncooked meals for a day.

Cloud over a head: Argue with every sim you encounter during one day.

Old gang: Meet up with the friends you have known for the longest.

Turn up the heat: Woohoo in public.

New ink: Get a tattoo.

Fresh air: Spend a day outdoors.

Homebody: Spend a day indoors.

Got the moves: Visit a community lot to hit the dance floor or turn on a stereo at home and dance until you run out of energy.

Make the bed: Change sheets for all beds on the lot.

Health concerns: Visit or call over a doctor.

All things are transient: Sell three objects.

Odd bottle: Consume a potion from your inventory.

Dig it: Spend a day treasure hunting.

Capture it: Take a picture and hang it on the wall.

Running on fumes: Have a cup of coffee once every few hours.

Reaching enlightenment: Meditate for a day.

Sugar rush: Prepare only desserts for a day.

Clocking extra time: Spend an evening on a computer either blogging, writing, or giving financial advice.

Dressed to the nines: Go on a date in formalwear.

Pretty lights: The outdoor areas of the lot are filled with fireflies for the round.

School assignment: A child or teen collects bugs for the round.

Stealing the show: Perform with an instrument or a microphone, freestyle for tips, or breakdance in public.

Devil on a shoulder: Prank every sim you encounter during one day.

Turning the page: Negative relationship effects are reduced for 48 hours and any existing fury states are cleared (get the 'forgiving' vacation benefit).

Meeting deadlines: Job performance is increased for 48 hours (get the 'industrious' vacation benefit).

Hot stuff: The attractiveness is increased for 48 hours (get the 'je ne sais quoi' vacation benefit).

On the ball: Skill, talent badge, and homework rates are increased for 48 hours (get the 'refreshed' vacation benefit).

Scatterbrained: Skill, talent badge, and homework rates are decreased for 48 hours (get the 'jetlagged' vacation penalty).

Bonfire night: Light up a bonfire with family or with friends.

Explosive entertainment: Throw a party with fireworks.

By example: Share hobby tips or instruct someone in a hobby, or find a sim who can share tips or instruct you in one.

Score points: Visit a community lot to play arcade games, poker, don't wake the llama, mahjong, or myshuno.

Self-care: Skilling is forbidden for a day. Instead, practice recovering activities like taking bubble baths, enjoying hot tubs or hot springs, getting massages, relaxing in saunas, or sunbathing.

Feeling chipper: Compliment every sim you encounter during one day.

I'll probably add these whenever I come up with new ones. Scenario ideas are welcome!

[stars-obsession-pit]

I feel like the potential of different methods of treatment of Jason’s Lazarus Pit side effects in DPxDC fics is often underutilized.

Like, yeah, the crossover brings in more ghostly stuff that could help, but it’s contamination on his literal mind/soul (definitely soul in a DPxDC context, idk about in DC canon) brought on by an unnatural resurrection. At least to me, that feels like it should be significant.

Having Danny just reach in and pull it out or Frostbite treat it in a basic procedure feels almost… cheap?

Like, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it being easy. Stories don’t need to go deeply into the soul healing process; if it’s not meant to be major plot point, it can absolutely be just a quick thing! I’m not trying to insult those stories at all!!

But I feel like there’s a lot of room for more complex or esoteric stuff in there to be explored!

Some ideas for such unique condition things under the readmore:

What if his “revenant” thing some fics use comes into play and the only way to remove it is to fully achieve his revenge? And if that’s the case, what if someone/something else kills the target of the revenge without his influence? Yeah, the person is dead now, he’s technically avenged, but he wasn’t the one to get the revenge. So does it still go away, or is he stuck with it? If he still has it, is it just permanent now or can he just find some other revenge method (ruining their legacy or etc) to break it?

Or oppositely, what if he literally can’t achieve that revenge or his body will die again, its mission complete. Thus, his only way to survive and remove the side effects is to smother all those vengeful urges until they fall silent. Which could make that “someone else kills the target unrelated to him” thing from the previous idea now the good ending - basically guaranteeing his survival since he can’t achieve the vengeance as easily now and can move on. Or maybe it’d be even worse as it forces him to move on regardless, dying randomly when the target of his revenge meets their comeuppance.

What if cycling out the corrupted ectoplasm is a long-term process of meditation (and/or emotional control) - something that takes up significant space in his life and forces him to plan/work around until it’s complete (reduced work hours, avoiding certain situations that might cloud his thoughts, etc)

What if he needs to obtain some sorts of special items/materials (either connected to his own life or more general ghost stuff) for a cleansing ritual, forcing him to go on some sort of quest(s) before he can perform it and recover

What if the tainted spots on his soul can’t be fixed, only excised, leaving other types of consequences for his mind/soul (some that will gradually disappear as the “incisions” heal, others that persist in the scars left behind)

What if the healing process requires him to go over his memories and smooth out the jagged emotional edges left by the Pit, and he isn’t experienced enough with ghostly matters to do on his own, so it forces him to get help from another ghost (and thus bare all his secrets to them)

What if the Pit Rage has to be fully pulled to the front - leaving him completely consumed by its control - before it can be literally fought back and suppressed

What if it can be healed only by taking pieces of healthy ghosts to patch him up - which’d require a lot of smaller ghosts (e.g. blob ghosts) or could potentially only need a couple if he’s willing to harm more intelligent ghosts for it (which Jason likely wouldn’t do, but he’s hardly the only person who’s been revived by the Pits…)

[thempregsimmer]

When Alex first found out he was pregnant, it was a surprise, to say the least. He never imagined that he'd be carrying his husband’s child, but the modern world had its share of twists, and he was ready to embrace the journey. One thing he hadn’t considered, though, was how much his lifestyle would need to change to accommodate the growing life inside him. His old car just wasn’t cutting it anymore. The cramped seats, the bumpy rides, the lack of storage for all the things he needed as a soon-to-be father—none of it felt right.

“I wasn’t just buying a car,” Alex explained, “I was buying peace of mind.” The spacious, supportive seats offered him comfort during his increasingly frequent trips to the doctor, and the adjustable ride height made it easier for him to get in and out as his belly grew larger.

“But it’s the smooth ride that really sold me,” he said, rubbing his stomach with a smile. “The new car handles the road like a dream. Every bump, every uneven surface—it smooths them all out. It’s exactly what I needed, especially during the last trimester when comfort is everything.”

And as Alex prepared for fatherhood, the vehicle proved to be more than just a mode of transportation. Its spacious back made carrying supplies—everything from strollers to baby bags—effortless. “This car is really for families,” he added. “I guess, in a way, I’m starting my family a little earlier than expected.”

He chuckled, standing tall next to his car on the beach. It had become more than just a car to him; it was a partner in his journey. “I wouldn’t want to be driving anything else right now,” Alex said. “It’s kept me calm, comfortable, and ready for whatever comes next.”

---

Jordan had always been an adventurer. He loved long drives along rugged coastlines, hiking trips, and spontaneous road trips with friends. But when he found out he was pregnant, he knew his trusty old car wasn’t going to cut it anymore. The baby growing inside him meant his priorities were changing, and he needed a car that could handle both the road and the responsibilities that came with this new chapter in his life.

“I never thought I’d be saying this, but being pregnant has totally shifted how I look at cars,” Jordan said, resting a hand on his growing belly. “I needed something that wasn’t just tough but comfortable too. A new car was the answer.”

Jordan appreciated the space it offered. As his body changed, he found himself needing more room—both for comfort and for all the stuff he was now carrying around. “It’s surprising how much space a guy with a baby bump needs,” he laughed. “But with this car, it’s like I have my own little cocoon. The seats are adjustable, and the back has more than enough room for all the gear I need.”

He pointed to the SUV's off-road tires, grinning. “And don’t get me started on the off-roading capabilities. I might be pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped exploring. This thing has taken me to some of the most beautiful, remote places where I can relax and connect with nature. It’s like I haven’t missed a beat.”

But the biggest surprise for Jordan was how much the car helped with the emotional side of his pregnancy. “Honestly, it’s been a crazy ride—pun intended,” he admitted. “But being in this car makes me feel strong and in control, even when my body is doing its own thing. This pregnancy wasn’t at all planned, it’s a result of one of those passionate dinners that come with breakfast in bed afterwards. However, I’m glad it happened, and that I’m carrying my son inside me now. He’s taking up a lot of space, both in my belly, and in my head. Sometimes I feel like I’m loosing control over my life and body, and I know it’s worth it, but it’s a feeling I have never had before.”

As Jordan leaned against his SUV, he looked out at the horizon. “I know it might sound strange, but this car has given me a sense of freedom. Even with the changes happening in my life, I can still be me. And when my baby comes, I know this car will help us have so many adventures together.”

For Jordan, the car was more than just a vehicle. It was a lifeline to his independence, helping him navigate both the literal and metaphorical roads of pregnancy and beyond.

[earl-grey-teacake]

Baby!Logan prompt - It came to my mind so I thought I’d share. I felt like I’ve written too many happy stuff and we need something a bit sad.

******

George gets injured and suffers from amnesia. He doesn’t remember anything past his first year at Williams. He especially doesn’t remember marrying Alex or adopting Logan.

Told to be gentle and not to force him to remember, Alex takes on childcare alone while also tending to George. Alex is very patient about it, understanding that his husband is also suffering and is trying his best to remember. Alex gives George his space to explore the home and remember at his own pace. He sleeps in Logan’s room while George gets their room. They take separate cars to events and Alex drops off Logan on his own.

Logan, however, is a bit too young to understand. He doesn’t understand why his father doesn’t play with him anymore, believing that the reason is because George doesn’t like him. George just doesn’t know how to connect with Logan and feels extremely guilty.

Feeling that their shared home in Monaco may be a bit too much stimuli for George, they return to England with Alex and Logan staying in their shared home there and George staying with his parents. Alex ends up visiting his family a lot for help with Logan since the stress of taking care of a child alone is getting to him. It’s also helps that the pets help take Logan’s mind off of things.

George, after a couple weeks starts to remember everything and feels incredibly guilty. He goes to their shared home only to find it devoid of occupants and breaks down, thinking they’ve left him. Alex and Logan come home a couple hours later to find George sitting on the floor crying.

Alex can’t seem to get him to explain himself over the tears. Logan goes over to hug him, because even if he isn’t remembered he knows that his dad likes hugs. George is relieved to find that his family didn’t abandon him and is very apologetic about even daring to forget them in the first place

********

Why do I do this to them? I don’t know

I feel like George is usually the victim in my stories and I don’t know why. I put him through all this emotional torment for some reason.

Thank you for reading ❤️ I’ll write more happy stuff soon

[aroaceleovaldez]

what do you mean by fandom infrastructure?

Oh goody I get to rant about this. Definitely gonna need a read more for this one. There's gonna be a lot of general fandom thoughts here so I'll put a big title for when I get to the actual list and pjo-specific stuff for if anybody wants to skip. Okay, my anthropological fandom thoughts:

"Fandom infrastructure" isn't official terminology by any means, but as someone who's been in a wide variety of fandoms for like 15+ years and in varying stages of participating within said fandoms, I generally use it to describe the sort of environment created by a fandom that supports and sustains the ecosystem within it (and may also extend to what kinds of attitudes are fostered within the community). This obviously looks different for every fandom (and different per platform), but I think it's really valuable to break down what systems exist in different fan spaces and how those impact the community that utilizes it, and take lessons from different spaces about what those systems do and how they're effective or not.

General forms of fandom infrastructures have shifted over time - a lot of more recent formats, at least in western fandom, tend to be very reliant on source material and you rarely see a lot of sort of classic archetypes of "old fandom" like concepts such as "big name fans" (I partially blame social media platform drifts for this - I'll touch back on that later*). A fandom with more consistent infrastructure over time (plus just a general favorite fandom case study of mine) and just a general good example of fandom infrastructure is the Furry fandom. It's a bit of an outlier to begin with as Furry fandom doesn't have an actual source material, which means it's an entirely self-perpetuating fandom, and as a result you get some really interesting community structure! (I highly recommend the documentary The Fandom for a dive into the history of the Furry fandom and even some adjacent fandoms!) One of the number one things I always like to note with the Furry fandom particularly compared to other fandoms is it's a very easy fandom to join/integrate yourself into and become a part of the community - it's one of the few fandoms that has generally agreed upon written etiquette/guidelines for behavior in the community that is very easy to find (early 2020s MCYT fandom had a little bit of this as well, but most guides were specific to individual MCYTs rather than the community as a whole and difficult to track down) and a ton of guides explaining what the community is and ways you can begin exploring it. Not to mention the absolute plethora of resources available in the community for just about anything you could think of, and tons of community-dedicated spaces where people can get involved in various ways. The furries are a very well-organized fandom in general! They're also an older and very well-established fandom, so there is much to learn from them.

I like to consider fandoms that have good infrastructure to be fandoms where the fandom is self-reliant or self-perpetuating (not fully dependent to a source material - so the fandom doesn't experience total dry spells when there's no new official media.) and one that's easy to join and integrate into.

Tangent: I have this whole personal concept about "entry-level fandoms" particularly when it comes to the cosplay community. A lot of those fandoms tend to be the ones labeled as "toxic" but when you break it down it's actually that the fandom is just very easily accessible and for a lot of folks that is their first fandom and they haven't learned general fandom etiquette yet. For cosplay, entry level fandoms tend to be relatively mainstream or otherwise easy to access the source material for and then also easy to cosplay while also offering ample room to grow (doubly easily accessible while also not limiting) - usually that the main cast of characters have very casual every-day outfits that can be easily made with a closet cosplay (cosplaying using clothes from your closet or otherwise "normal" clothes) (low barrier to entry) plus more elaborate and evolved outfits for when new fans get comfortable enough to begin exploring further (niches to grow into). Also bonus points if people are able to use their natural hair at all because that makes it even easier. Another aspect that tends to be helpful is how much one actually needs to get into the source material to begin interacting with the community - if you can get the general gist/premise of the franchise pretty quickly and not have to actually engage with the entirety of the source material, that's way more likely to be an entry-level fandom (like, One Piece for example is not likely to be an entry-level fandom, lol). Homestuck is (or more was) an easily accessible webcomic, and despite it's length for the majority of it's run it was actively updating so there was no expectation to be completely caught up, plus it was extremely common to just fully skip over entire segments. Cosplay progression: human characters in basic outfits > trolls > god tiers/etc. My Hero Academia is a mainstream readily accessible manga and anime, particularly to western audiences, and the general premise throughout the series remains relatively close to the pitch from the beginning, alongside not shifting core characters too much. Cosplay progression: civilian outfits > hero costumes and more complex characters. Percy Jackson actually very much fits the bill for this as well - its a VERY popular book franchise to the point where most people have probably had to read it for school at some point, but also it's generally not expected you'll read past Blood of Olympus or any of the side series, if you even read past the first series (and you won't be super lost if you even don't read far past the first book). Cosplay progression: camp t-shirts > adding armor, props, or maybe trying to make goat legs or etc. A more recent and very interesting newcomer to the entry-level fandoms scene is Genshin Impact because it somewhat breaks the format - it's still easily accessible (free to play game) but the character outfits are all incredibly complex. But as cosplay becomes more mainstream and just in general as manufacturing techniques improve, it's suddenly become very easy and affordable to just buy a decent looking cosplay, which is very appealing particularly for a fandom like Genshin. You can have a very nice and complex looking first cosplay with little effort, similar to the effectiveness of closet cosplays in the other examples. As varying techniques improve, the barrier to entry becomes lower in more communities, and there are more opportunities for a wider variety of entry-level fandoms. Okay tangent over -

There's a lot of ways fandoms can be self-perpetuating, but some of the most self-perpetuating fandoms I see are ones that either have a lot of room for original characters, concepts, and similar (see: TTRPG fandoms) and/or fandoms that are heavily divorced from the source material (often due to the source material being widely deemed "meh at best" but having compelling base concepts) (see: Miraculous Ladybug) which is where you often see a lot of AUs - Warrior Cats fandom is a good example of both! I have not kept up with Warrior Cats in ages, but I'm still in the fandom. I have no idea what book they're on. If Warriors stopped publishing books tomorrow I genuinely don't think the fandom would even notice. They've been doing their own thing for ages. There's a ton of room for creating your own characters, storylines, and etc within the worldbuilding of the franchise where it never stops being identifiable as Warrior Cats, which means the fandom can basically do their own thing eternally without ever cutting off newcomers to the community.

The majority of this stems just from being able to not rely on the source material to drive the fandom. If the community inspires itself, then it's able to continue to sustain itself without outside reliance. But to do so indefinitely it will eventually need new fans. And this brings me to the whole "easy to join/integrate into the community thing" -

*It's later - Tumblr used to be a huge fandom hub in general, but the content bans around 2018 led to a giant migration of communities to other platforms. That 2016-2018 era is when we see a shift in fandom in general, with fandom attitudes shifting from old-era concepts like ship-and-let-ship, YKINMKATO/Kinktomato, use of "squick," etc (in general a major loss of old fandom linguistics and terminology - nobody even says OTP anymore!). There's a couple of reasons for this sort of multi-fandom cultural drift, but in general it seemed to widely be the combo of a new generation of younger fans entering their first fandoms all at once while simultaneously being cut off from learning established pan-fandom culture. Newer fans never learn about the old community, how it functioned, or how to upkeep it, and now the fandom is fully reliant on the source material and fizzles out almost completely in the absence of new official media. (Also I think somewhat the lack of BNFs/Big Name Fans can also contribute to this, as they are often the people new fans will look up to and emulate the behavior of when learning how to interact with a fandom - this can be good or bad, depending on the BNF! - alongside being able to learn about the community's history through them, since they're almost always older and well-established members of the community. In the absence of BNFs, the community often turns more towards the source material/creators and it can get Bad™.)

Tumblr as a platform, due to being a blogging and sharing platform, is inherently structured for long-form discussion, long-form text, documentation, and sharing concepts and ideas in nuanced ways. Also preservation - there's no time limit for when posts disappear, and there's no algorithms restricting you to only the newest posts. Tumblr's features even make it really easy to go back and find old posts, even despite the semi-broken search features. Tumblr creates environments where these types of communities absolutely blossom. There's a reason why it was the go-to platform for fandom stuff. Instagram is image-focused, actively discourages text, has a mediocre search, and no proper means of sharing except awkward reposting most of the time. Tiktok is even worse, being short-form video-centric (so even more difficult to repost in absence of sharing features) but otherwise similar (and even less text-friendly and more difficult to search, especially for older posts). Twitter has strict text and image limitations, heavily limited sharing options, and any attempts at threads get messy extremely quickly, so nuance is dead there. Reddit has long form text capabilities but no real sharing features and next to zero longevity. Facebook and Discord are locked behind requiring an account to even view it (instagram as well, to a point). And Youtube is right out (generally it acts as supplementary to other social media). Theoretically you could try to use Ao3 for that, but it's an archive, not a discussion board or social media - at best you'd probably just be going back and forth like scientific journalists which will not be easy for most people to follow. As far as mainstream western social media goes, Tumblr is the best place for "classic fandom" so-to-speak. There's a reason a lot of very established fandoms have built their own dedicated spaces - forums, art sites, etc (usually in combination) - the more splintered your community is, the less of a community it is. It's very difficult to build a community when you never know where the majority of your community is going to be at any given point! In most cases you'll still have the source material, but how is a new fan supposed to know if everybody's on twitter or instagram or tiktok at any given time? That uncertainty immediately cuts off new fans. And you need new fans to perpetuate a fandom (or in general, new people to perpetuate a community). Not every community is capable of having dedicated hosted forum boards and such (though GOD i wish,,,, i miss forum boards,,,, forum boards are awesome,,). Maybe there's a Discord, but discords are difficult to find, easily overwhelming if large, and often intimidating for new folks to join. Not to mention difficult to moderate and if they're busy then it's basically guaranteed most people are just going to get drowned out.

ALL THIS TO SAY: For a true fandom community to exist, essentially, it needs to a.) not be entirely reliant on the source material (instead being driven by activity within the community), and b.) have a cycle of new fans that can come into the community and take up the mantle of upkeeping that infrastructure and continuing the activity within the community, usually with low barrier to entry. This is where that fandom infrastructure becomes important, because that's exactly what supports and encourages that activity in the first place.

To begin with, you must have a community acceptance for deviating from the canon/source material. This is normal and fine and okay. This is what fandom is known for. This is exactly why we have the terms "fanon" (concepts largely agreed upon by the fandom but not officially canon) and "headcanon" (the canon that exists in your head/is personal to you) and AU (alternate universe)! You have to help foster this - you don't have to actively engage with every canon deviation you see, but respect when it is other people's prerogative to deviate from canon and don't shut them down just inherently for "daring to disrespect the sacred canon" or whatever. Remember the ancient fandom proverbs: don't like-don't read, YKINMKATO/Kinktomato ("Your kink is not my kink and that's okay"), ship-and-let-ship, etc. Cringe culture is dead, engage in some whimsy, and remember that ultimately you always are the one to curate your own online experience. Etc etc.

The other major thing is you need to foster spaces where new fans can easily enter and begin engaging with the community. These spaces are extremely important in fandom communities because it's what allows fans who are completely new to fandom to comfortably begin partaking in fandom at a level appropriate for them and without pressure. It's in these spaces that those whose who wish to can begin fostering skills that then leads them to engage with the fandom in larger and more complex ways, growing into different niches within the community and thus allowing the fandom to continue. (I have a whole little essay about this topic [here] which is extremely relevant to my major points here.)

"Alright so where's the PJO-specific stuff and actual examples?"

I'm glad you asked, theoretical reader. So, to answer the beginning question - what is some fandom infrastructure I've seen in other communities (and/or Riordanverse fandom, back when we had that kind of stuff)? These are generally types of blog or other niches that prompt activity, discussion, and other forms of interaction within the community. I have comprised many examples though forgive me if my organization is messy because these are somewhat difficult to categorize concisely: (Also if you do know of examples in the riordanverse fandom of any of my examples, like specific blogs or etc, feel free to comment them!)

- General community hubs and community spaces. I have these as two slightly different but adjacent categories since I think these things generally fall into one of two categories - spaces meant for general chatting and interacting with other fans (community spaces) and spaces more meant to find specific topics (hubs).

Things like forums, discord servers, group chats, etc - these exist in the PJO community but are far and few between and difficult to find. If you run one I highly recommend putting a link in your tumblr sidebar (enable custom theme > edit theme > new page [bottom of sidebar on the left] > there should be a little dropdown menu where it says "standard layout" - select "link" and plug in a discord invite set to never expire. there ya go). A couple I know of include my own (one for general riordanverse and one for my askblog), the Titan Army discord, these two, Riordanverse artists server, Nicercy (Percico) events, Jasico challenges, and Above The Clouds (also jasico). There used to be a big general PJO server but it's mostly inactive now (I affectionately refer to it as functionally a knitting circle these days, cause that's most of what's discussed there now, lol). There also used to be a well-known TOA-specific one and a general Riordanverse cosplay discord but both had problems and I'm not sure either still exist. I've heard there may also be a Percabeth server floating around somewhere? But I've never seen it.

"Hubs" is what I label things like blogs surrounding specific designated topics, usually consolidating stuff like general fanworks, specific fanfiction, fanworks of specific characters/groupings/ships, etc. I believe there might be one or two general riordanverse fanart blogs floating around. I'm not sure about blogs for specific fanfiction. A lot of ship-specific blogs went inactive by like 2017 but a couple are still alive like @solangelo. (I'll get into some other examples in a similar vein to this later*) We don't have a designated blog for keeping tabs on whenever there's a Riordanverse fanzine or similar project but some fandoms do (I would love this btw and i am almost tempted to do it myself) - an old pan-fandom one was fanzinewatch. I run a blog dedicated just to reblogging fanart (and occasionally other fanwork) of Hazel and Nico - @deathsibs. I don't know of any individual character-specific blogs off the top of my head unfortunately. Etc etc.

In general the purpose of these things is to help connect the community and make it easier to find and promote things or meet people. These are good places to ask questions, particularly directions or recommendations. That brings me to another one-

- Ask/Tag games and memes. Back in ye olde tumblr days there used to be TONS of fandom-specific inbox and tag games, or people would do milestone promos or etc and do these massive blog recommendations or literally just list everyone they follow or similar. This was a really useful way for people to find more blogs for specific topics and engage with each other in general. Here's an old one I found as an example. My friend has a nice tag with a bunch of old ask memes as well, and Hermitcraft-ask-games is a great example of a blog categorizing fandom-specific ones (Hermitcraft/adjacent MCYT in this case). Tag games can refer to both posts where you respond to the prompt in the tags while reblogging or a game where you tag other people - the latter has mostly fallen out of favor cause it can get very spammy and posts can get very long with it. Less spammy versions tend to be something more akin to an ask game or a follow forever, where you are responding to a specific question or prompt by tagging blogs that fit that, usually as a recommendation. It's a little nicer and more favored because then you're promo'ing other folks and usually it's not a long chain of reblogs, plus the posts tend to have dedicated formats so they aren't super messy.

- In another similar vein, Art games/memes. PJO fandom doesn't have a lot of these! These are your "Draw 6 Characters," "Character color wheel," etc prompts. The fandom I see this the most in is MCYT fandom, particularly Hermitcraft/Trafficblr! There's a ton of little variant prompts I see all the time there (not just for fanart! also fanfic and etc!) - Characters in your style, Fanon species swap, color palette swap, etc etc. (I am totally going to try and make one of these for riordanverse, give me a bit, lol)

- Prompt weeks/months. Also similar - prompt weeks/months/etc are pretty self-explanatory. They're events that give you a set of prompts to create/post fanwork themed to over that time period. PJO fandom used to have plenty of these, though I only see a couple floating around these days. I know Jasico Week/Jasico Challenges and Solangelo Week are still alive, and TA week happened recently. Fun fact, in some smaller/largely inactive fandoms I've actually seen prompt weeks DM active people in the community to tell them the prompt week is happening which I actually really like. In circumstances like that where a fandom is so small, scattered and inactive, it's a good means to get the word out.

- Headcanon/ship/"Imagines" blogs *It's later (again)! Headcanon blogs used to be EXTREMELY common back in ye olde days of fandom. Some of the most popular iterations tended to be ship-specific headcanon blogs. PJO fandom had A TON of these (and many are still up! They just haven't posted since like 2017 at the lastest. Quite the trip down memory lane though). They were generally formatted by people submitting their headcanons/"imagines" anonymously, which would then be formatted into an image to match the blog's general format (sometimes themed to specific characters or subjects, depending on the submission itself) and posted. A good example from PJO fandom I stumbled across the other day while looking at old askblogs is Percicoheadcanons. Absolute classic format right there. Also bonus time capsule points - the most recent post is from before Blood of Olympus was published. That's just particularly amusing to me given the ship in question here.

- Shortform Headcanons / Short Memes & Shitposts Helyeahmangocheese reminded me of this one in my previous post - shortform headcanons are essentially any headcanon thrown out into the world in a short format. So you're "headcanon that [x]" or whatever with no elaboration. Just quick little snappy things off the top of your head that people can pick up and run with. Sometimes there would be blogs dedicated to these, with people submitting them in blog formats like the above, and then shortform headcanons to be posted in that format. Short memes & shitposts are the exact same type of thing - just short little silly textposts and similar cracking jokes that the fandom can take and run with. Both of these are more important to the fandom than you'd think - a.) they have a very low barrier to entry, which means they're a great way for new fans to begin engaging with the larger community. b.) they circulate new ideas for other fans to build off of, creating collaborative concepts. These collaborations help build the community with giving opportunities for people to chat/inspire each other's work and can create iconic fandom moments or community references/in-jokes. And old one from PJO fandom that floated around was somebody threw out the concept of Will Solace's weapon being a lasso/whip (because cowboys/he's Texan/etc) made of light, which then got illustrated and elaborated on by many other fans such as Cherryandsisters and was very popular fanon for a time.

- Confessions Blogs These ones can be decisive in fandoms, depending on how they're run. Confession blogs in general are blogs where people anonymously submit fandom thoughts, opinions, etc (formatted similarly to HC/imagines blogs like above). There's also usually a decent amount of funny confessions like initial misunderstandings or confusion about things. Most well-run ones of these will have rules against negativity towards other fans and similar. When done properly these blogs can be a nice way for the community to have discussions about topics that they may be afraid to broach publicly, and easily can generate community in-jokes.

- Positivity blogs / Fandom voting Somewhat opposite to (at least, more negative) confession blogs, fandom positivity blogs are a very sweet way to spread compliments around the community. Sometimes they're anonymous, sometimes not. Generally though the format is people can submit compliments or kind notes to other people in the community and it'll get posted tagging the individual in question. Trafficblrpositivityproject is an MCYT example of this concept. Fandom Voting is a little bit more odd and varies a lot between communities. An old one PJO fandom used to do was PJO Prom, where people could nominate blogs for different categories, they would either accept or deny their nominations, and then folks would vote for their top favorite blogs of each category and winners would be announced (though the event also included more than just that - like blogs asking each other to prom and etc). In other fandoms I've also seen elections where various members of the community would jokingly campaign for election (including choosing other members of their campaign), people would vote for a winner, and then do it all over again. Fandom elections tend to be a lot more chaotic and silly, versus stuff like fandom prom voting is more geared towards just appreciation towards members of the community.

- Fandom Events / Community Projects Related to PJO Prom, (and prompt weeks/months) general fandom proms or valentine's events used to be pretty popular, especially amongst RP and askblogs. These weren't always strictly organized, but they generally involved asking other blogs to prom/to be valentines and then people would draw cute prom/holiday art or similar to celebrate. Some blogs would send out valentines to multiple blogs just as a nice cute lil treat in a similar vein to how some blogs still do trick-or-treating events. Trick-or-treating events have been a thing for awhile, generally following that same structure, but it's become significantly more popular in general now that tumblr has image embeds possible in asks rather than having to submit a post. Other fandom events can include fandom elections like mentioned before, or any number of things really, but the majority of regular ones will include gift/fanwork exchanges in some form. Secret Santa projects are very common (and PJO did have them! There isn't one singular PJO Secret Santa blog since it seems different folks did different years so I can't link it, but I participated in 2016 iirc. It looks like the most recent one was in 2021 - pjosecretsanta2021). I did find Rrversesummerbang as a recently active one as well. Zines and similarly collaborative projects are also common - PJO fandom does occasionally have zines but they aren't very frequent and generally don't get a ton of traction (which is very sad cause zines are very fun - most of it seems to be just the fandom doesn't have good ways of getting word out about events through the community). We've also had a couple of coloring book projects! I participated in the 2016 one and there was another in 2022. Some other fandom and pan-fandom examples of similar stuff is Mcytrecursive (Gift exchange for fic-of-fic, in this case MCYT-specific), Fic in a box, Mcytblraufest (AU fest), general holiday exchanges, etc. (A lot of my examples are MCYT cause man that fandom is active). There are a lot of pan-fandom ones of these, but usually involvement of specific fandoms is entirely dependent on sign-ups and it can be difficult to know or guarantee any specific communities participating. Fandom-specific ones are generally more well-known in their own communities for obvious reasons. In other projects, Riordanverse fandom even once had a Multi-Animator Project! These are more common in fandoms like Warrior Cats that are very artist and animator-centric, but the fact that we have at least one major one at all is pretty cool! Collaborate games in similar veins to big events/projects like this (see stuff like the art meme/games) can also be great ways to get the community active and engaged. Voting/poll stuff like character or ship brackets can be really interesting too and depending on how it goes down can become an EXTREMELY major event in the community (see: MCYT Tumblr Sexyman bracket). Very fun times.

- Incorrect Quotes / Text Post Memes / Chat Posts Rolling back to headcanon/imagines blogs, incorrect quotes for specific ships/character groupings used to be extremely common. And not even just dedicated blogs, but incorrect quotes/chat posts were pretty much the number one thing the average fan who didn't create fanart/fanfic/etc would post. I was actually quite surprised to see that Incorrectpercicoquotes is still alive. They post more than just incorrect quote/chat posts (not uncommon for blogs of those nature, especially back in the day), but still it feels like seeing a thought-to-be-extinct-species in the wild eating a bag of chips. Anyways, like shortform headcanons and memes/shitposts (of which these are somewhat a subcategory of), these are another low barrier to entry type of fandom engagement, which means they're great for new members of the community.

- Askblogs MY FAVORITE TOPIC. I have a list of PJO askblogs on my sidebar actually cause I'm very passionate about them and askblogs in general. For what an askblog is, my blog @askblog-index goes over that and also I answered some questions about askblogs recently, which you can find in my askblogs tag (also I'm always open to answering questions about askblogs please ask me about askblogs I love them so much). There's so many different varieties too - text, illustrated, cosplay, voice acting, combination, etc etc etc. Askblogs are a really fun means for collaborative storytelling in the community, especially with how much they tend to generate headcanons or put characters in silly little scenarios. Cherryandsister's Will Solace askblog is practically personally responsible for a solid 50% of all Will fanon. Photokinesis!Will was entirely popularized there. They're also a really great place for people in the community to build up their skills - yknow those jokes about "the best way to improve your art is to become obsessed with something and draw it one billion times?" yeah askblogs are that. My art improved so much by starting an askblog because it pushes you to draw things you might avoid normally or wouldn't expect to draw - or if it's not an art askblog, is just plain good practice for writing or voice acting or whatever. It's a regular outlet where you can build up your skills with not a lot of pressure but also outside encouragement and concepts to build off of. Character or fandom-specific daily art blogs and similar request art blogs are similarly also very useful to building up skills (and can be applied to other artforms like fic writing!) (Request blogs are not the same as askblogs though please dont send random art requests to askblogs just gotta put that disclaimer). I also personally consider them extremely vital to fandom ecosystems, though often overlooked - remember those old "ask the seven" posts that would be the terribly colored text in random fonts on a white or poorly-chosen-color background that'd just be random stuff and it'd get reposted absolutely everywhere? For a lot of people that's both some of the first stuff in a fandom that they might make, and also some of the first stuff people used to see in fandoms in general. With my whole silly theory of fandom ecological niches, those types of posts are your base of the pyramid, because it's where most fans are going to start out. It gives them a low-stakes place to begin engaging with the community and figure themselves out and begin exploring the characters and media on a deeper level. That's what fandom is all about! It's what separates fandom from just the general audience of any particular thing. Those types of posts were popular because they're just easy to make! All you need is mspaint, if even! They get across their concepts quickly and easily in an easily sharable format - that's exactly why they got reposted absolutely everywhere! The concept of those posts (and general character chat posts/incorrect quotes) still exist in other spaces in fandom communities, but in different formats - usually tiktoks, being spoken and acted out loud. The problem with that format though is it can't go anywhere - even in shortform video format there's no way to easily condense it down (and also they have a higher barrier to entry, as the format at it's simplest usually requires some aspect of showing your face/using your voice. This means you inherently have to sacrifice some amount of privacy to engage with the format, which isnt friendly to new/younger fans). Meanwhile these ask-the-seven posts are one jpeg that gets across the entire concept. And we've evolved! We have better technology! We can pick better colors and fonts and add image descriptions! We can bring the format back!

- Cosplay This one is pretty self-explanatory - just. Cosplays are a type of fanwork too! PJO cosplay used to be pretty common on tumblr actually! Particularly there used to be a decent number of cosplay askblogs (which are just askblogs where instead of responding to questions with text or a drawing, asks are answered with either a gif or image of the mun/mod in cosplay reacting in-character). Cosplay is cool! And in PJO fandom it's particularly easy!

- Roleplaying Spaces PJO fandom does have a pretty active tumblr RP scene as far as I've been able to tell, which is good! Also you can find people who want to RP pjo just about anywhere. It's just somewhat of a matter of giving them a space to do so. I talked about how to get into roleplaying recently on my blog as well. RP is also one of the forms of fandom infrastructure in this list that transfers well to other social media platforms, in large part due to social media RP making it a whole lot easier. The fandom is mostly just severely lacking in hubs to locate RPs and help people find ways to begin engaging with them.

- Public AUs / OCs Public AUs/OCs are a bit of a weird one to describe - they're basically any AU/OC that the creators (if there is a singular known creator of it) have given total free reign to people with. More often it's an AU that doesn't have a particular known creator but the fandom likes to run around with and do a lot with. In PJO fandom, the ye olde fandom OC was Peter Johnson, a son of Demeter. The AU generally was about how Peter Johnson was a new camper and Mr. D's favorite camper, and just generally a sweet lil guy while Mr. D proceeds to torment Percy because of the name jokes. A series of public AUs that's completely unique to PJO is Godswap aus - there's no one singular set godswap au, but the two most common swaps tended to be Demeter!Percy (in part due to Peter Johnson) and Aphrodite!Nico (admittedly this one was like 90% gay stereotypes/homophobic tropes and there's a reason why the fandom kind of dropped it. It was absolutely the most popular godswap for a time though, and some of the concepts from it have bled into general Nico fanon for better or worse). General pirate aus have also always been very popular in the fandom - there were some old ones back in the day, including local BNF (Big Name Fan) Saberghatz having at least one, maybe like two or three, including a cosplay. Pirate!Nico in particular was very popular. There was actually a slight resurgence of PJO pirate AUs on pjo cosplay tiktok in like 2020 or so I wanna say. Truly we came full-circle there. There's also just general popular AUs that fandoms like to run with. For awhile PJO fandom had a HTTYD au they really loved. The current fandom favorite AU seems to be Velinxi's Young Gods/Hades Game AU.

- Fangames This one might sound odd because Riordanverse fandom doesn't really have this, but fangames can be REALLY fun and cool. Fangames also often spark mini-fandoms in themselves and are just really awesome in general. There's a lot of different varieties of vastly varying complexities, but a lot of it is pretty much just "I made a game, it's about [fandom], here ya go." Some good examples from other communities off the top of my head are games like ClanGen or Untold Tales for Warrior Cats, or Featherbent from the Homestuck fandom which was a visual novel / AU fanfic. Btw, visual novels are actually not all that difficult to create. If you're interested in trying to make one I highly recommend checking out Ren'Py - it's basically a program to make visual novels with.

- Other project types / General Collaboration Related to community events, particularly Multi-Animator Projects (MAPs), AMVs/PMVs/Lyricstucks ("animated music videos" and "picture music videos" - lyricstucks are the same as the latter but usually in a scrolling tumblr post format with the song linked at the beginning rather than video format) are very cool and can be both individual or collaborative projects (in Riordanverse fandom most are probably very familiar with Viria's old lyricstucks - Nothing Left To Say and How Far We've Come). Some folks do dubs of fancomics (also used to be a thing in PJO fandom, particularly back when the PjoVoices group was active and the brief stint in the fandom when we had some Voice Acting askblogs) which can be a nice way to collaborate and engage with other fans in different mediums. "Aesthetics"/Moodboards (usually an arrangement of either 2x3 [former] or 3x3 [latter] grids of images) and the more recent "webweaves" also are a great low barrier to entry type of fanwork that has a lot of variety and versatility (just make sure to credit art/photos used) - especially if you make moodboards/webweaves inspired by people's AUs/fics/etc!

- Gifset Makers / Editors In Riordanverse fandom we don't see this often, because we're primarily a book fandom, but back in the days of the movies and more recently now with the show, editors and gifset makers are a very cool niche of fanwork creators. Gifset makers is pretty self-explanatory - they're people who make gifs. Editors can range from people who make edits of clips or put together clips of images or a whole bunch of very different things. Very wide range there. Edits (with credit to the original artists) can be a really fun alternative to AMVs/PMVs/etc if you don't draw but you have a concept (CREDIT THE ARTISTS - trust me, having your art used in an edit can feel super cool but ONLY IF IT'S CREDITED. IF IT'S NOT CREDITED IT'S NOT FUN. if you ask and credit people will probably be happy about it!). Edit blogs can also be very fun and are often a big hit in fandoms - "Where is [x]" and "[character] in places" are classics. Again just remember to credit artists appropriately and ask permission to use their work.

- Fanwork Promotion Blogs/Hubs PJO fandom does have a couple of these still floating around I think! I don't know them off the top of my head but I swear i've seen them recently. Regardless - these are any sorts of blogs that promote other fanworks. Maybe it's dedicated to just general fanart, general fanfic, stuff of a specific AU or concept. Going back to previous bullet points, character or ship-specific blogs are a form of these. They can range from elaborate and complex with how they promote or spotlight and recommend works, to just literally being random reblogs of stuff of a specific topic. These can actually also be a really nice if you're looking for a simple way to get more involved in the community, because chances are if you're on tumblr you know how to reblog things and that's about all it takes. These hubs can be really nice ways for more fans in the community to get spotlighted/recognition and become more well-known, and it also helps fans looking for specific types of fanwork. (The only caveat with these is if you are going to make a generalized hub blog, you have to actually make it generalized. You can't just exclude the things you personally don't like just because you don't like them - if you don't want to deal with that, make a more specialized hub blog for your more focused interests instead.) (Also personally I'd recommend if you're making one of these types of blogs that you're an adult, cause these blogs can require fandom tag-spelunking that may not be appropriate for all ages - ESPECIALLY if you run a fanfic hub.)

- General Resources This can look like a lot of things, particularly depending on what the fandom is about, but in general a lot of fandoms will have dedicated places to finding different types of information, and often important fandom terminology and sometimes fandom history. Fan Wikis may cover some of this, but not always (and depending on how the wiki(s) are run in a particular community, may not even have reliable information to begin with. I'm looking at you Riordanverse wiki). In furry fandom for example there's a ton of resources for how to get started in the community, commonly accepted community guidelines and general etiquette, fandom history and terminology, resources to find fursuit makers or other artists, various tutorials, etc etc etc. PJO fandom does not really have this! Like i mentioned in previous bullet points, while we have some hub/promotion or character/ship-specific blogs, they're relatively far and few between and commonly inactive, not to mention usually very specific in what niche they're focused on. The wiki only covers the source material (and is questionable quality at best most of the time) with there being next to no resources in the community in general for stuff like fandom history or terminology or etc. Did you know PJO fandom used to be part of the Superwholock of book fandoms (it was PJO, HP, Hunger Games, and Divergent. there was a whole symbol for it)? Did you know we used to have our own fandom lingo? Members of the fandom were usually called demigods or half-bloods, people would put their cabins in their bios (people would make little banners or other decorations to put on your blog themes to show your cabins or pjo stuff in general!), and we'd say stuff like "Spread this like greek fire" and "Amazhang" and etc. Those are actual things people said unironically very frequently. You're probably most likely to be familiar with "Persassy." We don't necessarily need to bring all of those things back, but point is we did use to have a community identity and sort of genuine subculture! And we lost that! There are so many community jokes and similar that most people have forgotten or at best kind of know of but don't remember the origins or contexts for. In other communities they have documentation for this kind of stuff - you should see some of the documentation that MCYT fandom does, particularly if the MCYT in question is a popular streamer or the SMP is primarily streamed content. Holy cow it's thorough. Resources and documentation are what help keep fandoms alive, because they give a means for new members of the community to learn the history of the community, learn established rules and etiquette, and just generally find their way around where they otherwise might be lost. It's really invaluable but often overlooked.

Okay, i think that's all the ones i can think of. This post has taken me over a full day of working on it, lol. Anyways i'm very passionate about fandom history and PJO fandom history/community in general so this was very fun for me to go on a deep-dive about. Also now i'm really tempted to put a lot of my old fandom knowledge and unnecessarily complicated lists/documentation to good use and try to help build up some of these bullet point concepts for riordanverse fandom myself because dammit somebody's gotta do it. But that's all i've got for now! As always feel free to ask me to elaborate on anything, or if you just wanna hear me babble on more about general fandom structures (i have another ramble about different types of fandoms relating to what fanworks they tend to exhibit the most!)/pjo fandom history/askblogs/RP community/whatever, I am always more than happy to talk!

[ghostingcrows]

I used to talk about this a lot but 

IDW Prowl is probably one of the most complex characters in the comics and I absolutely hate it when hes reduced down to “the asshole character”

Cause like

Yeah sure hes got a bit of a stick up his ass

But I feel like people just end there analysis of him there

Has he committed a lot of war crimes and done unethical stuff

Yes

But so has literally EVERYONE else in this universe

Starscream is literally the pinnacle of war crimes

The comics make a point calling out even Optimus for his questionable actions and orders during the war with the Dinobots saying he makes them do the dirty work for him

Megatron literally commits genocide and yet his story ends with an alternate version of him going free and exploring the universe with the LL

The literal war lord was treated better and is looked upon more positively than Prowl and I think it just came down to how fucked Prowl got by the writers

Because while Megatrons redemption was all in your face and you got a shit ton of flashbacks that try to justify the eventual atrocities he would commit you don’t get that with Prowl

Even when Prowl is absolutely in the right you constantly have it disregarded by characters making jokes about him overreacting (being mad OP is sending the space tyrant away with free reign of his own ship isn’t overreacting btw-) and as such you start to think of him as a genuinely irrational character when hes not

Prowl is bad at keeping the relationships he forms yes 

But he is not always at fault for that

While his relationship with CD ended poorly Chromedome is also shown to be kinda of a dick sometimes and commits his fair share of fucked up things such as when he literally ATTACKS PROWL AND FORCES HIS WAY INTO HIS MIND TO PROTECT HIMSELF FROM THE CONSEQUENCE OF HIS ACTIONS WHEN PROWL THREATENS TO TELL REWIND ABOUT THE SHITTY STUFF HE DID IN HIS PAST

This leads to Prowls inevitable snowball out of control when this attack leads to an opening for Bombshell (I think its been a while since I read the comics) to use his tech to mind control him forcing him into combining with the contructicons

Something we learn is an immensely intimate thing with their minds being kinda melded 

This was something Prowl did not want 

And when all was said and done and he was calmed down he still had to live with that gesalt he was forced into with them following him around like fanboys

Nobody ever even really stopped to check in on him 

And as such he understandable went a little bit insane

He had just faced an immensely traumatic invasion of his body and mind and on top of stress form feeling like everything was out of his control and like he couldn’t stop the bad things from happening alongside bitter emotions being brought back up with a return visit to Earth and reunion with spike AND the fact that he feels like Optimus doesn’t trust him and like hes just letting Starscream do whatever he want (something that understandably freaks him out seeing as how he spent 4 million years fighting Starscream) he just kinda snaps

He trys to destroy the space bridge so that no one else can leave or get through and so he can regain some semblance of control

Is it wrong

Yes

But he was not in a good state of mind and no one was helping him at all 

And immediately following his arrest afterward Prowl is confronted by OP who is supposed to be his friend and when Prowl doesn’t say the right things to him to placate him Optimus’ response is to punch him out a window and beat the shit out of him

And not being given any room to breath this is immediately follow up my him getting kidnapped by Tarantulas who is very obviously an impactful and negative part of his past

Prowl just has bad event, one after the other, happen to him over and over again and not only does no one check up on him afterwards to see if hes okay but everyone actively makes fun of him for being understandable unstable

Prowl is a fucking tragedy and not many people seem to be able to see beyond what characters in the comics think of him

[fuckstheonott]

I Got My Eyes On You // T. Nott [Part 1]

Theodore Nott x girl!reader

!! ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE !!

Summary: Y/n Bones is part of one of the richest families in the wizarding world. She and Theodore grew up together, and for all these years, Nott watched her in silence, fascinated by every facet of her.

The two began a strange friendship after an incident and now, they meet frequently in the room of need.

“Hello, Nott" Y/n greets the boy from Slytherin "You’ve been coming here a lot lately"

The dark one goes in.

"It’s to make sure you’re still alive," Theodore replies, serene.

Y/n smiles.

“Come see what I found!”

And, of course, Theodore approaches.

The witch makes a grimace.

“By Salazar! What is this? Some kinda of muggle weaponry?”

The girl from Ravenclaw laughs.

“It’s called dry-er” She spells “Do you know what he does?”

“Does it dry things out?”

“It dries the moisture out of your hair! Isn’t that amazing?! It’s kind of noisy, but the technology is admirable. I mean, we can dry our hair with a swivel of the wand and the muggles invented an instrument that does it for them! They are really interesting little creatures"

Theodore laughs weakly.

Y/n blinks.

“You find literally anything amazing”

“And you have a limited brain, typical of a Slytherin” The youngest rolls her eyes.

“I like to explore, but I'm more into spells and potions, herbs, spices. Things that actually add something, because they are part of my reality”

Y/n looks at the brunette as if to say “Seriously?”

“That is, limited”

Theodore shrugs.

"Comes! I got more stuff!” And she pulls the Slytherin boy to the other corner of the room, without caring about personal space “Woow! Guess what it is!”

Nott looks at it strangely.

“This is definitely a weapon”

Y/n laughs.

“It’s a fan!” It spells “Speak! Fan!”

“Fan”

“Your Italian accent is really cute, so I’ll let that one slide”

Theodore rolls his eyes.

“And what does this thing do?”

“It refreshes the environment to alleviate the heat. See those propellers? They rotate counterclockwise and generate wind.”

Theodore blinks.

“Ok, this is cool”

“It is not?!!” She exclaims, exited.

For some inexplicable reason, Theodore likes being with the girl.

In a way, they grew up together. The brunette remembers that Y/n was always quirky. While the brothers ran up and down exploring the giant Bones mansion, Y/n spent time in the garden, looking for insects.

Theodore observed all his phases: The insect phase, the instrument phase, the color phase, the painting phase, the stars and aliens phase and marine animals...

Without the youngest noticing, Nott's eyes have always been on her.

He tried hard, condemned and fucked several girls... But it was no use, because the more Y/n grew, the more interesting and unique she became.

And beautiful.

Soon the others began to notice this fact, and Theodore wanted to smash the face of every boy who approached her with flowers or chocolate. To make matters worse, Y/n is a social virus, she smiles at everyone and is kind to the entire Hogwarts.

Finally, Theodore came to grips with her reality…

He would forever be an observer.

Until that day.

The day Y/n ran him over with a skateboard on summer vacation and they both broke their arms. She just burst into tears, but they weren't tears of pain, they were tears of guilt.

Somehow, after that moment, a strange and singularity friendship began between the two. They started to meet in the room of need and that was when Y/n introduced Nott to her new phase:

Explore Muggle Objects

“Why did you decide to be my friend after so long?” She asks suddenly, walking over to the sofa and throwing herself on it anyway “They say you’re not friends with girls, you only fuck them”

And suddenly, Bones sits down with everything.

“Merlim! Have you ever eaten Parkinson's ?!"

Theodore can’t stand it, laughing.

“Parkinson’s?! Do you swear? She’s not my type”

“Your type is blondes, from what Emma told me. That girl spends her whole day taking care of other people’s lives, there’s nothing she doesn’t know.”

“In fact, I like blondes… But she’s not my favorite type”

"And which one is it?" And Y/n blinks those little eyes, without malice in her question.

You – He wanted to respond.

"Next time we meet here, I'll tell you"

This is just something silly that I wrote, it's not good, but I still wanted to publish it because

I don't know, I thought it was cute? Who knows, maybe I'll continue