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and-then-there-were-n0ne · 4 years

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In the economic sphere too, the ability to hold a hammer or press a button is becoming less valuable than before. In the past, there were many things only humans could do. But now robots and computers are catching up, and may soon outperform humans in most tasks. True, computers function very differently from humans, and it seems unlikely that computers will become humanlike any time soon. In particular, it doesn’t seem that computers are about to gain consciousness, and to start experiencing emotions and sensations. Over the last decades there has been an immense advance in computer intelligence, but there has been exactly zero advance in computer consciousness. As far as we know, computers in 2016 are no more conscious than their prototypes in the 1950s. However, we are on the brink of a momentous revolution. Humans are in danger of losing their value, because intelligence is decoupling from consciousness.

Until today, high intelligence always went hand in hand with a developed consciousness. Only conscious beings could perform tasks that required a lot of intelligence, such as playing chess, driving cars, diagnosing diseases or identifying terrorists. However, we are now developing new types of non-conscious intelligence that can perform such tasks far better than humans. For all these tasks are based on pattern recognition, and non-conscious algorithms may soon excel human consciousness in recognising patterns. This raises a novel question: which of the two is really important, intelligence or consciousness? As long as they went hand in hand, debating their relative value was just a pastime for philosophers. But in the twenty-first century, this is becoming an urgent political and economic issue. And it is sobering to realise that, at least for armies and corporations, the answer is straightforward: intelligence is mandatory but consciousness is optional.

Armies and corporations cannot function without intelligent agents, but they don’t need consciousness and subjective experiences. The conscious experiences of a flesh-and-blood taxi driver are infinitely richer than those of a self-driving car, which feels absolutely nothing. The taxi driver can enjoy music while navigating the busy streets of Seoul. His mind may expand in awe as he looks up at the stars and contemplates the mysteries of the universe. His eyes may fill with tears of joy when he sees his baby girl taking her very first step. But the system doesn’t need all that from a taxi driver. All it really wants is to bring passengers from point A to point B as quickly, safely and cheaply as possible. And the autonomous car will soon be able to do that far better than a human driver, even though it cannot enjoy music or be awestruck by the magic of existence.

Indeed, if we forbid humans to drive taxis and cars altogether, and give computer algorithms monopoly over traffic, we can then connect all vehicles to a single network, and thereby make car accidents virtually impossible. In August 2015, one of Google’s experimental self-driving cars had an accident. As it approached a crossing and detected pedestrians wishing to cross, it applied its brakes. A moment later it was hit from behind by a sedan whose careless human driver was perhaps contemplating the mysteries of the universe instead of watching the road. This could not have happened if both vehicles were steered by interlinked computers. The controlling algorithm would have known the position and intentions of every vehicle on the road, and would not have allowed two of its marionettes to collide. Such a system will save lots of time, money and human lives – but it will also do away with the human experience of driving a car and with tens of millions of human jobs.

Some economists predict that sooner or later, unenhanced humans will be completely useless. While robots and 3D printers replace workers in manual jobs such as manufacturing shirts, highly intelligent algorithms will do the same to white-collar occupations. Bank clerks and travel agents, who a short time ago were completely secure from automation, have become endangered species. How many travel agents do we need when we can use our smartphones to buy plane tickets from an algorithm?

Stock-exchange traders are also in danger. Most trade today is already being managed by computer algorithms, which can process in a second more data than a human can in a year, and that can react to the data much faster than a human can blink. On 23 April 2013, Syrian hackers broke into Associated Press’s official Twitter account. At 13:07 they tweeted that the White House had been attacked and President Obama was hurt. Trade algorithms that constantly monitor newsfeeds reacted in no time, and began selling stocks like mad. The Dow Jones went into free fall, and within sixty seconds lost 150 points, equivalent to a loss of $136 billion! At 13:10 Associated Press clarified that the tweet was a hoax. The algorithms reversed gear, and by 13:13 the Dow Jones had recuperated almost all the losses.

Three years previously, on 6 May 2010, the New York stock exchange underwent an even sharper shock. Within five minutes – from 14:42 to 14:47 – the Dow Jones dropped by 1,000 points, wiping out $1 trillion. It then bounced back, returning to its pre-crash level in a little over three minutes. That’s what happens when super-fast computer programs are in charge of our money. Experts have been trying ever since to understand what happened in this so-called ‘Flash Crash’. We know algorithms were to blame, but we are still not sure exactly what went wrong. Some traders in the USA have already filed lawsuits against algorithmic trading, arguing that it unfairly discriminates against human beings, who simply cannot react fast enough to compete. Quibbling whether this really constitutes a violation of rights might provide lots of work and lots of fees for lawyers.

And these lawyers won’t necessarily be human. Movies and TV series give the impression that lawyers spend their days in court shouting ‘Objection!’ and making impassioned speeches. Yet most run-of-the-mill lawyers spend their time going over endless files, looking for precedents, loopholes and tiny pieces of potentially relevant evidence. Some are busy trying to figure out what happened on the night John Doe got killed, or formulating a gargantuan business contract that will protect their client against every conceivable eventuality. What will be the fate of all these lawyers once sophisticated search algorithms can locate more precedents in a day than a human can in a lifetime, and once brain scans can reveal lies and deceptions at the press of a button? Even highly experienced lawyers and detectives cannot easily spot deceptions merely by observing people’s facial expressions and tone of voice. However, lying involves different brain areas to those used when we tell the truth. We’re not there yet, but it is conceivable that in the not too distant future fMRI scanners could function as almost infallible truth machines. Where will that leave millions of lawyers, judges, cops and detectives? They might need to go back to school and learn a new profession.

When they get in the classroom, however, they may well discover that the algorithms have got there first. Companies such as Mindojo are developing interactive algorithms that not only teach me maths, physics and history, but also simultaneously study me and get to know exactly who I am. Digital teachers will closely monitor every answer I give, and how long it took me to give it. Over time, they will discern my unique weaknesses as well as my strengths. They will identify what gets me excited, and what makes my eyelids droop. They could teach me thermodynamics or geometry in a way that suits my personality type, even if that particular way doesn’t suit 99 per cent of the other pupils. And these digital teachers will never lose their patience, never shout at me, and never go on strike. It is unclear, however, why on earth I would need to know thermodynamics or geometry in a world containing such intelligent computer programs.

Even doctors are fair game for the algorithms. The first and foremost task of most doctors is to diagnose diseases correctly, and then suggest the best available treatment. If I arrive at the clinic complaining about fever and diarrhoea, I might be suffering from food poisoning. Then again, the same symptoms might result from a stomach virus, cholera, dysentery, malaria, cancer or some unknown new disease. My doctor has only five minutes to make a correct diagnosis, because this is what my health insurance pays for. This allows for no more than a few questions and perhaps a quick medical examination. The doctor then cross-references this meagre information with my medical history, and with the vast world of human maladies. Alas, not even the most diligent doctor can remember all my previous ailments and check-ups. Similarly, no doctor can be familiar with every illness and drug, or read every new article published in every medical journal. To top it all, the doctor is sometimes tired or hungry or perhaps even sick, which affects her judgement. No wonder that doctors often err in their diagnoses, or recommend a less-than-optimal treatment.

Now consider IBM’s famous Watson – an artificial intelligence system that won the Jeopardy! television game show in 2011, beating human former champions. Watson is currently groomed to do more serious work, particularly in diagnosing diseases. An AI such as Watson has enormous potential advantages over human doctors. Firstly, an AI can hold in its databanks information about every known illness and medicine in history. It can then update these databanks every day, not only with the findings of new researches, but also with medical statistics gathered from every clinic and hospital in the world.

Secondly, Watson can be intimately familiar not only with my entire genome and my day-to-day medical history, but also with the genomes and medical histories of my parents, siblings, cousins, neighbours and friends. Watson will know instantly whether I visited a tropical country recently, whether I have recurring stomach infections, whether there have been cases of intestinal cancer in my family or whether people all over town are complaining this morning about diarrhoea.

Thirdly, Watson will never be tired, hungry or sick, and will have all the time in the world for me. I could sit comfortably on my sofa at home and answer hundreds of questions, telling Watson exactly how I feel. This is good news for most patients (except perhaps hypochondriacs). But if you enter medical school today in the expectation of still being a family doctor in twenty years, maybe you should think again. With such a Watson around, there is not much need for Sherlocks.

This threat hovers over the heads not only of general practitioners, but also of experts. Indeed, it might prove easier to replace doctors specialising in a relatively narrow field such as cancer diagnosis. For example, in a recent experiment a computer algorithm diagnosed correctly 90 per cent of lung cancer cases presented to it, while human doctors had a success rate of only 50 per cent. In fact, the future is already here. CT scans and mammography tests are routinely checked by specialised algorithms, which provide doctors with a second opinion, and sometimes detect tumours that the doctors missed.

A host of tough technical problems still prevent Watson and its ilk from replacing most doctors tomorrow morning. Yet these technical problems – however difficult – need only be solved once. The training of a human doctor is a complicated and expensive process that lasts years. When the process is complete, after ten years of studies and internships, all you get is one doctor. If you want two doctors, you have to repeat the entire process from scratch. In contrast, if and when you solve the technical problems hampering Watson, you will get not one, but an infinite number of doctors, available 24/7 in every corner of the world. So even if it costs $100 billion to make it work, in the long run it would be much cheaper than training human doctors.

And what’s true of doctors is doubly true of pharmacists. In 2011 a pharmacy opened in San Francisco manned by a single robot. When a human comes to the pharmacy, within seconds the robot receives all of the customer’s prescriptions, as well as detailed information about other medicines taken by them, and their suspected allergies. The robot makes sure the new prescriptions don’t combine adversely with any other medicine or allergy, and then provides the customer with the required drug. In its first year of operation the robotic pharmacist provided 2 million prescriptions, without making a single mistake. On average, flesh-and-blood pharmacists get wrong 1.7 per cent of prescriptions. In the United States alone this amounts to more than 50 million prescription errors every year!

Some people argue that even if an algorithm could outperform doctors and pharmacists in the technical aspects of their professions, it could never replace their human touch. If your CT indicates you have cancer, would you like to receive the news from a caring and empathetic human doctor, or from a machine? Well, how about receiving the news from a caring and empathetic machine that tailors its words to your personality type? Remember that organisms are algorithms, and Watson could detect your emotional state with the same accuracy that it detects your tumours.

This idea has already been implemented by some customer-services departments, such as those pioneered by the Chicago-based Mattersight Corporation. Mattersight publishes its wares with the following advert: ‘Have you ever spoken with someone and felt as though you just clicked? The magical feeling you get is the result of a personality connection. Mattersight creates that feeling every day, in call centers around the world.’ When you call customer services with a request or complaint, it usually takes a few seconds to route your call to a representative. In Mattersight systems, your call is routed by a clever algorithm. You first state the reason for your call. The algorithm listens to your request, analyses the words you have chosen and your tone of voice, and deduces not only your present emotional state but also your personality type – whether you are introverted, extroverted, rebellious or dependent. Based on this information, the algorithm links you to the representative that best matches your mood and personality. The algorithm knows whether you need an empathetic person to patiently listen to your complaints, or you prefer a no-nonsense rational type who will give you the quickest technical solution. A good match means both happier customers and less time and money wasted by the customer-services department.

The most important question in twenty-first-century economics may well be what to do with all the superfluous people. What will conscious humans do, once we have highly intelligent non-conscious algorithms that can do almost everything better?

Throughout history the job market was divided into three main sectors: agriculture, industry and services. Until about 1800, the vast majority of people worked in agriculture, and only a small minority worked in industry and services. During the Industrial Revolution people in developed countries left the fields and herds. Most began working in industry, but growing numbers also took up jobs in the services sector. In recent decades developed countries underwent another revolution, as industrial jobs vanished, whereas the services sector expanded. In 2010 only 2 per cent of Americans worked in agriculture, 20 per cent worked in industry, 78 per cent worked as teachers, doctors, webpage designers and so forth. When mindless algorithms are able to teach, diagnose and design better than humans, what will we do?

This is not an entirely new question. Ever since the Industrial Revolution erupted, people feared that mechanisation might cause mass unemployment. This never happened, because as old professions became obsolete, new professions evolved, and there was always something humans could do better than machines. Yet this is not a law of nature, and nothing guarantees it will continue to be like that in the future. Humans have two basic types of abilities: physical abilities and cognitive abilities. As long as machines competed with us merely in physical abilities, you could always find cognitive tasks that humans do better. So machines took over purely manual jobs, while humans focused on jobs requiring at least some cognitive skills. Yet what will happen once algorithms outperform us in remembering, analysing and recognising patterns?

The idea that humans will always have a unique ability beyond the reach of non-conscious algorithms is just wishful thinking. True, at present there are numerous things that organic algorithms do better than non-organic ones, and experts have repeatedly declared that something will ‘for ever’ remain beyond the reach of non-organic algorithms. But it turns out that ‘for ever’ often means no more than a decade or two. Until a short time ago, facial recognition was a favourite example of something which even babies accomplish easily but which escaped even the most powerful computers on earth. Today facial-recognition programs are able to recognise people far more efficiently and quickly than humans can. Police forces and intelligence services now use such programs to scan countless hours of video footage from surveillance cameras, tracking down suspects and criminals.

In the 1980s when people discussed the unique nature of humanity, they habitually used chess as primary proof of human superiority. They believed that computers would never beat humans at chess. On 10 February 1996, IBM’s Deep Blue defeated world chess champion Garry Kasparov, laying to rest that particular claim for human pre-eminence.

Deep Blue was given a head start by its creators, who preprogrammed it not only with the basic rules of chess, but also with detailed instructions regarding chess strategies. A new generation of AI uses machine learning to do even more remarkable and elegant things. In February 2015 a program developed by Google DeepMind learned by itself how to play forty-nine classic Atari games. One of the developers, Dr Demis Hassabis, explained that ‘the only information we gave the system was the raw pixels on the screen and the idea that it had to get a high score. And everything else it had to figure out by itself.’ The program managed to learn the rules of all the games it was presented with, from Pac-Man and Space Invaders to car racing and tennis games. It then played most of them as well as or better than humans, sometimes coming up with strategies that never occur to human players.

Computer algorithms have recently proven their worth in ball games, too. For many decades, baseball teams used the wisdom, experience and gut instincts of professional scouts and managers to pick players. The best players fetched millions of dollars, and naturally enough the rich teams got the cream of the market, whereas poorer teams had to settle for the scraps. In 2002 Billy Beane, the manager of the low-budget Oakland Athletics, decided to beat the system. He relied on an arcane computer algorithm developed by economists and computer geeks to create a winning team from players that human scouts overlooked or undervalued. The old-timers were incensed by Beane’s algorithm transgressing into the hallowed halls of baseball. They said that picking baseball players is an art, and that only humans with an intimate and long-standing experience of the game can master it. A computer program could never do it, because it could never decipher the secrets and the spirit of baseball.

They soon had to eat their baseball caps. Beane’s shoestring-budget algorithmic team ($44 million) not only held its own against baseball giants such as the New York Yankees ($125 million), but became the first team ever in American League baseball to win twenty consecutive games. Not that Beane and Oakland could enjoy their success for long. Soon enough, many other baseball teams adopted the same algorithmic approach, and since the Yankees and Red Sox could pay far more for both baseball players and computer software, low-budget teams such as the Oakland Athletics now had an even smaller chance of beating the system than before.

In 2004 Professor Frank Levy from MIT and Professor Richard Murnane from Harvard published a thorough research of the job market, listing those professions most likely to undergo automation. Truck drivers were given as an example of a job that could not possibly be automated in the foreseeable future. It is hard to imagine, they wrote, that algorithms could safely drive trucks on a busy road. A mere ten years later, Google and Tesla not only imagine this, but are actually making it happen.

In fact, as time goes by, it becomes easier and easier to replace humans with computer algorithms, not merely because the algorithms are getting smarter, but also because humans are professionalising. Ancient hunter-gatherers mastered a very wide variety of skills in order to survive, which is why it would be immensely difficult to design a robotic hunter-gatherer. Such a robot would have to know how to prepare spear points from flint stones, how to find edible mushrooms in a forest, how to use medicinal herbs to bandage a wound, how to track down a mammoth and how to coordinate a charge with a dozen other hunters. However, over the last few thousand years we humans have been specialising. A taxi driver or a cardiologist specialises in a much narrower niche than a hunter-gatherer, which makes it easier to replace them with AI.

Even the managers in charge of all these activities can be replaced. Thanks to its powerful algorithms, Uber can manage millions of taxi drivers with only a handful of humans. Most of the commands are given by the algorithms without any need of human supervision. In May 2014 Deep Knowledge Ventures – a Hong Kong venture-capital firm specialising in regenerative medicine – broke new ground by appointing an algorithm called VITAL to its board. VITAL makes investment recommendations by analysing huge amounts of data on the financial situation, clinical trials and intellectual property of prospective companies. Like the other five board members, the algorithm gets to vote on whether the firm makes an investment in a specific company or not.

Examining VITAL’s record so far, it seems that it has already picked up one managerial vice: nepotism. It has recommended investing in companies that grant algorithms more authority. With VITAL’s blessing, Deep Knowledge Ventures has recently invested in Silico Medicine, which develops computer-assisted methods for drug research, and in Pathway Pharmaceuticals, which employs a platform called OncoFinder to select and rate personalised cancer therapies.

As algorithms push humans out of the job market, wealth might become concentrated in the hands of the tiny elite that owns the all-powerful algorithms, creating unprecedented social inequality. Alternatively, the algorithms might not only manage businesses, but actually come to own them. At present, human law already recognises intersubjective entities like corporations and nations as ‘legal persons’. Though Toyota or Argentina has neither a body nor a mind, they are subject to international laws, they can own land and money, and they can sue and be sued in court. We might soon grant similar status to algorithms. An algorithm could then own a venture-capital fund without having to obey the wishes of any human master.

If the algorithm makes the right decisions, it could accumulate a fortune, which it could then invest as it sees fit, perhaps buying your house and becoming your landlord. If you infringe on the algorithm’s legal rights – say, by not paying rent – the algorithm could hire lawyers and sue you in court. If such algorithms consistently outperform human fund managers, we might end up with an algorithmic upper class owning most of our planet. This may sound impossible, but before dismissing the idea, remember that most of our planet is already legally owned by non-human inter-subjective entities, namely nations and corporations. Indeed, 5,000 years ago much of Sumer was owned by imaginary gods such as Enki and Inanna. If gods can possess land and employ people, why not algorithms?

So what will people do? Art is often said to provide us with our ultimate (and uniquely human) sanctuary. In a world where computers replace doctors, drivers, teachers and even landlords, everyone would become an artist. Yet it is hard to see why artistic creation will be safe from the algorithms. Why are we so sure computers will be unable to better us in the composition of music? According to the life sciences, art is not the product of some enchanted spirit or metaphysical soul, but rather of organic algorithms recognising mathematical patterns. If so, there is no reason why non-organic algorithms couldn’t master it.

David Cope is a musicology professor at the University of California in Santa Cruz. He is also one of the more controversial figures in the world of classical music. Cope has written programs that compose concertos, chorales, symphonies and operas. His first creation was named EMI (Experiments in Musical Intelligence), which specialised in imitating the style of Johann Sebastian Bach. It took seven years to create the program, but once the work was done, EMI composed 5,000 chorales à la Bach in a single day. Cope arranged a performance of a few select chorales in a music festival at Santa Cruz. Enthusiastic members of the audience praised the wonderful performance, and explained excitedly how the music touched their innermost being. They didn’t know it was composed by EMI rather than Bach, and when the truth was revealed, some reacted with glum silence, while others shouted in anger.

EMI continued to improve, and learned to imitate Beethoven, Chopin, Rachmaninov and Stravinsky. Cope got EMI a contract, and its first album – Classical Music Composed by Computer – sold surprisingly well. Publicity brought increasing hostility from classical-music buffs. Professor Steve Larson from the University of Oregon sent Cope a challenge for a musical showdown. Larson suggested that professional pianists play three pieces one after the other: one by Bach, one by EMI, and one by Larson himself. The audience would then be asked to vote who composed which piece. Larson was convinced people would easily tell the difference between soulful human compositions, and the lifeless artefact of a machine. Cope accepted the challenge. On the appointed date, hundreds of lecturers, students and music fans assembled in the University of Oregon’s concert hall. At the end of the performance, a vote was taken. The result? The audience thought that EMI’s piece was genuine Bach, that Bach’s piece was composed by Larson, and that Larson’s piece was produced by a computer.

Critics continued to argue that EMI’s music is technically excellent, but that it lacks something. It is too accurate. It has no depth. It has no soul. Yet when people heard EMI’s compositions without being informed of their provenance, they frequently praised them precisely for their soulfulness and emotional resonance.

Following EMI’s successes, Cope created newer and even more sophisticated programs. His crowning achievement was Annie. Whereas EMI composed music according to predetermined rules, Annie is based on machine learning. Its musical style constantly changes and develops in reaction to new inputs from the outside world. Cope has no idea what Annie is going to compose next. Indeed, Annie does not restrict itself to music composition but also explores other art forms such as haiku poetry. In 2011 Cope published Comes the Fiery Night: 2,000 Haiku by Man and Machine. Of the 2,000 haikus in the book, some are written by Annie, and the rest by organic poets. The book does not disclose which are which. If you think you can tell the difference between human creativity and machine output, you are welcome to test your claim.

In the nineteenth century the Industrial Revolution created a huge new class of urban proletariats, in the twenty-first century we might witness the creation of a new massive class: people devoid of any economic, political or even artistic value, who contribute nothing to the prosperity, power and glory of society.

In September 2013 two Oxford researchers, Carl Benedikt Frey and Michael A. Osborne, published ‘The Future of Employment’, in which they surveyed the likelihood of different professions being taken over by computer algorithms within the next twenty years. The algorithm developed by Frey and Osborne to do the calculations estimated that 47 per cent of US jobs are at high risk. For example, there is a 99 per cent probability that by 2033 human telemarketers and insurance underwriters will lose their jobs to algorithms. There is a 98 per cent probability that the same will happen to sports referees, 97 per cent that it will happen to cashiers and 96 per cent to chefs. Waiters – 94 per cent. Paralegal assistants – 94 per cent. Tour guides – 91 per cent. Bakers – 89 per cent. Bus drivers – 89 per cent. Construction labourers – 88 per cent. Veterinary assistants – 86 per cent. Security guards – 84 per cent. Sailors – 83 per cent. Bartenders – 77 per cent. Archivists – 76 per cent. Carpenters – 72 per cent. Lifeguards – 67 per cent. And so forth. There are of course some safe jobs. The likelihood that computer algorithms will displace archaeologists by 2033 is only 0.7 per cent, because their job requires highly sophisticated types of pattern recognition, and doesn’t produce huge profits. Hence it is improbable that corporations or government will make the necessary investment to automate archaeology within the next twenty years.

Of course, by 2033 many new professions are likely to appear, for example, virtual-world designers. But such professions will probably require much more creativity and flexibility than your run-of-the-mill job, and it is unclear whether forty-year-old cashiers or insurance agents will be able to reinvent themselves as virtual-world designers (just try to imagine a virtual world created by an insurance agent!). And even if they do so, the pace of progress is such that within another decade they might have to reinvent themselves yet again. After all, algorithms might well outperform humans in designing virtual worlds too. The crucial problem isn’t creating new jobs. The crucial problem is creating new jobs that humans perform better than algorithms.

- Yuval Noah Harari, The Great Decoupling in Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow

#yuval noah harari #the great decoupling #homo deus: a brief history of tomorrow #homo deus

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jasonblossomsghost · 7 years

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0-44 please :)

0: Heighti’m 5′3 :)

1: Age182: Shoe sizeUS men’s 5, US women’s 6-7 (if anyone wants to buy me some new adidas i like the white and black classics)3: Do you smoke?my asthmatic ass? i think not4: Do you drink?nope5: Do you take drugs?i’ve considered it but nah6: Age you get mistaken fordepends but usually 13-15 7: Have tattoos?ya i got a temporary one on my shoulder its lit8: Want any tattoos?in the future probably but idk i dont like the idea of permanence

9: Got any piercings?not even my ears10: Want any piercings?not really. im not a fan of jewelry11: Best friend?her name is mady and i love her12: Relationship statussingle but with a toxic pissbaby clinging to my leg13: Biggest turn onspassion, talent, thermodynamic equilibrium/always warm (im a cold hoe), funny, smart, honest, loyal, etc etc14: Biggest turn offsexcessive jealousy (like a lil jealousy can be cute but if ur up my ass constantly i feel like u dont trust me ygm?), dishonesty, codependency, infidelity15: Favorite movieScott Pilgrim vs. The World16: I’ll love you if...you’re nice to me and hold my hand17: Someone you missnot to be gay but i havent seen mady in like a week so i miss her a lil bit18: Most traumatic experiencemy first memory is a grown man almost suffocating me so probably that lmao19: A fact about your personalityi’m a fucking disaster but at peace with it20: What I hate most about myselfi don’t value my own needs as much as i should21: What I love most about myselfmy sense of humor tbh. multiple people have told me theyve gotten funnier just being around me and it makes me feel good22: What I want to be when I get olderi plan on being a lawyer but i just wanna be financially stable, in love, and happy23: My relationship with my sibling(s)i’ve got 7 lmao. my relationship with my oldest sister is nonexistent, with the second oldest sister its just awkward, my older brother is a nazi so i fkn hate him, i constantly fight with my sister whos a year older, i parent my little sister while she calls me a bitch/cunt/twat, and i dont have a relationship with my two younger brothers24: My relationship with my parent(s)dont have one with my dad. my mom and i have a Not So Good relationship where she yells at me for no reason then feels guilty but instead of saying sorry just lets me leave the house25: My idea of a perfect datei havent been on a date in so long honestly someone take me out but anyway, breakfast at my favorite restaurant (its a vegan/gluten free place and ya boi has a lot of food intolerances but it also has really beautiful art and a garden) then going to a museum or my favorite bookstore. also maybe a park at some point?? idk if i love the person they could take me grocery shopping and id be happy26: My biggest pet peeveslying, cheating (on partners, not tests), and people who dont understand personal space27: A description of the girl/boy I likei could describe the person i unfortunately like but ill discuss him in 28 so have a description of the boy i have a small crush on instead. his name is Sam and hes super nice??? and smart??? and really funny??? but also so talented at music like the second i heard him sing i was in Love. i made him a present (it was just a dumb joke not like an actual present) on the last day of the semester and he decided to skip that day. i texted him and he deadass showed up to school just for me??? i was honestly dazed for the rest of the day28: A description of the person I dislike the mostlike i said, i unfortunately like him. hes at least borderline emotionally abusive and generally makes me feel shitty. hes hot tho /:29: A reason I’ve lied to a friendi’ve been trying to be really honest but ?? maybe so they wont worry about me?? idk30: What I hate the most about work/schooljust the stress tbh31: What my last text message says“be busy during that time” (from Mady about avoiding the guy from 28)32: What words upset me the mosthonestly just anything thats needlessly negative??? like idk life is too short to be an asshole the whole time33: What words make me feel the best about myselfwhen anyone compliments me tbh like if youve ever complimented me i love you34: What I find attractive in womentheir smiles and eyes and just how nice they are??? they always look cute?? and its fucking magical?? fuck dude girls are amazing. also like physically i appreciate nice thighs tbh like,,, damn35: What I find attractive in menwith guys tbh if they can make me laugh and are genuinely nice people im !! if they give nice hugs its a bonus. also its stereotypical af but tall boys are So Nice (like everyones tall to me tho so im not talking strictly 6 ft+)

36: Where I would like to liveCali maybe?? idk just a place where i feel safe being who i am37: One of my insecuritiesuntil July i was overweight like my whole life and recently ive been gaining and losing weight like crazy so just how much i weigh i guess?? idk like i Know it doesnt matter but it Does38: My childhood career choicei wanted to be a teacher or psychologist39: My favorite ice cream flavorprobably birthday cake tbh40: Who I wish I could behonestly i just wanna be me but happy41: Where I want to be right nowat a park maybe with a nice human42: The last thing I atefruit snacks43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediatelyLaverne Cox44: A random fact about anythinguh i keep a poetry journal that i write in almost daily

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robininthelabyrinth · 8 years

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Summer in the City - Chapter 3

Fic: Summer in the City - Chapter 3 (AO3 Link) Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Mick Rory/Barry Allen

Summary: Barry Allen is a good CSI, but this whole stupid Heatwave serial killer thing is just killing him.

Or, you know, people around him.

Luckily for him, he’s always got Mick to complain to…

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"I'm starting to think you're cheating on me with another pizza place, you call so late," Mick chuckles.

Barry smiles, phone tucked into the crook of his neck. "My job keeps me busy," he replies. "I wasn't sure you'd still be open."

"For you, I stay open."

Barry snickers. "Send me something I'd like, then," he says, suddenly feeling spontaneous.

"Not the usual?"

"Nah. I trust you."

"You're a trusting type of guy - and also a jerk, since you've given me no time to prep anything."

"Sorry," Barry laughs. "I promise to order the same tomorrow, how's that? Tonight just get me something fast."

"I'm holding you to that. Delivery'll be in twenty."

"You're the best. No desserts this time!"

"You're too skinny."

"You've never even met me!"

"You sound too skinny. Are you telling me you're not skinny?"

"Well, no," Barry concedes. He's not underweight, but he is, admittedly, a little skinny. "I just wouldn't say too skinny..."

"I bet," Mick says smugly. "Dessert tomorrow, then."

"Something with fruit involved, at least?"

"Can do."

"Thanks, Mick," Barry says, then hesitates. On one hand, he doesn't want to make this weird. On the other, he's been thinking it for a while. Might as well. "Is it sad that talking to you is a highlight of my day?"

"Not any sadder than the fact that talking to you's a highlight of mine," Mick replies immediately. "We're both very sad; just accept it."

Barry smiles. Mick's the best. "Good to hear. I'd better hang up - I'm going to eat then go straight to sleep, since I've got a busy day tomorrow."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, interviews. We're following up on some things with some of the big labs in the city: Palmer Tech in the morning, then STAR Labs in the afternoon. Ramon Foundation tomorrow unless something comes up. Can't give you details, of course..."

"Of course. Have fun on your busy day, Barry."

Barry really likes hearing Mick say his name.

The food that shows up ends up not even being pizza, which Barry fully expected, but a medium-cooked ribeye with béarnaise sauce and some asparagus. One of the stalks looks like it's been nibbled on, like Mick grabbed the steak off of someone else's plate, but that's silly. Barry's sure Mick just grabbed whatever was available.

Honestly, he hadn't even remembered that this place did non-pizza stuff. They must have transitioned over to regular Italian as well.

It's delicious, as usual, which he reports to Mick with a smile (he vaguely thinks he hears someone yowling about having their plate stolen out from under them because someone can't man up about their goddamn crush, but Mick assures him it’s just the radio), and he sleeps well but still manages to wake up to his fourth alarm, so he even makes it to the front door of Palmer Tech on time.

Barry's not sure how he feels about Palmer Tech. The guy in charge of it - Raymond Palmer - was a player in Starling City politics and business for a while, which made everyone wonder why he was opening a branch in Central. The more generous said it was a natural expansion, taking advantage of the generous state interest in funding laboratories and scientific development generally; the less generous whispered about the corruption of the business class in Starling - that awful earthquake - and the slender gap left in the Families' supply of good money laundering operations after Snart had started his little meta crusade against them.

From what Barry's seen of his interviews, Ray Palmer seems like a pretty decent, upstanding guy, but Barry's more cynical side points out that the guy thinks of himself as an inventor - even humanitarian - first, businessman second, and that doesn't tally with his business' recent ruthless rise in market share, so either Ray Palmer has a hidden cold streak or he's got a second in command that's the real head of the business, someone with a real killer instinct.

"Barry, you're on time," Joe says, smile firmly affixed onto his face and on Eddie's. "Great. We're just waiting to see Mr. Palmer himself."

"What, personally?" Barry asks, frowning. "He's coming all the way from Starling?"

"Already arrived. Be nice, okay? We'll talk with him a few minutes and move on to the serious questions once he's assured us he had no idea what was going on, there'll be serious inquiries, the usual crap."

"Got it," Barry says. "Morning, Eddie."

"Good morning," Eddie says, looking tired. Then again, he recently got moved high enough up that he gave the media announcement this morning - the regular update on the Heatwave case, i.e. “Nothing yet but we’re working on it” - and he looks like he's been savaged by a bunch of media wildcats. But Iris’ boyfriend still has time to smile warmly at Barry, because he's always been incredibly sympathetic to Barry's plight (once Barry indicated he was getting over it and after one punch-in-the-face incident which Barry totally gets).

Just at that minute, Ray Palmer himself, recognizable from the fact that he's as tall as Barry and from the broad white-toothed smile you could see on all the advertisements, comes through the door, flanked by two blonde women.

"Detectives West, Thawne," he says, hand outstretched, seeming actually pleased to see them, not like he's secretly annoyed by these people trampling all over his lab at all. "I heard you'd called. And this is..?"

"CSI Barry Allen," Barry says, shaking Palmer's hand. "I'm accompanying the detectives today."

Palmer brightens like Barry said something incredibly interesting. "Wow, it's really great to meet you!"

"...really?"

"He watches too many police procedurals," one of the blonde women cuts in smoothly. Her smile is just a bit wicked. "Welcome, all three of you."

"This is Sara Lance," Palmer says. "She's my VP of Operations. And this is Felicity Smoak; she runs our R&D/Tech side."

"You didn't have to bring all the big brass, Mr. Palmer," Joe says. "We told you, we're just following up on the theft that you experienced a few months back."

"Naturally," Palmer says. "And please, call me Ray! I just wanted you to know how seriously we've been taking this issue. Sara and I will be taking you on the tour ourselves."

Everyone's smile gets a little more fixed onto their faces, because that's...great. If by great you mean absolutely awful. It's a careful balance in Central City between investigating with the full power of the city and state behind you, and not pissing off the politicians who count on the political donations and economic stimulus that rich people like Palmer brought with them when they expanded into Central.

Palmer was the politician's second favorite type of rich guy: spends a lot of money in Central building his business, but mostly concerned about politics in Starling and therefore no threat to their positions.

(Their first favorite type of rich guy being the kind that is willing to give them personally a lot of money.)

"We're delighted to have you as guides," Eddie says, even managing to sound partially sincere. "Thank you for taking the time. Ms. Smoak, you won't be joining us?"

"No, I just came here to see - uh, the investigation. How the investigation was. Was going! I'm R&D, you know, so I care a lot about theft. I mean, about investigations! Investigations into theft. Also in general. " She covers her flushing cheeks and closes her eyes. "Please pretend that made sense."

"Perfect sense," Barry assures her. "I do it all the time."

She opens her eyes and grins at him. "You're nice!" she exclaims, sounding a bit surprised. "I wouldn't have thought."

"The cops aren't all bad," Barry says, suppressing a smile. "Don't believe everything you see on TV."

“I’m glad we got the nice cops,” Felicity says, grinning at him.

“You have the luck of coming first in the alphabet,” Barry says, giving up and returning her smile. “So you get to go before STAR Labs this afternoon.”

This was true except for the Ramon Foundation, which started in the phone book somewhere after ZZ.

“Thank you, alphabet,” Felicity says with a laugh.

"We’re very thankful indeed," the other woman - Sara Lance, Ray had called her - cuts in smoothly. "Shall we begin our tour?"

Barry can feel the exchange of glances behind his back at the neat, careful people management, and he concurs entirely. Sara's too young to be behind Palmer Tech’s initial rise to prominence, which was mostly based on the sheer creativity of Ray Palmer’s inventions, but Barry would bet dollars to donuts that they've just met the brain behind its recent cutthroat expansionism.

Despite their initial fears, Ray actually proves to know something about the tech side of his business and is able to answer questions, rather than regurgitating a set of talking points crafted by a set of lawyers in a dark room somewhere.

"This is our Dynamite lab," he says. "That's a little joke, you see -"

"Thermodynamics," Barry says with a grin. "That's funny."

"You sure you want to keep up with this CSI stuff?" Ray asks. "We're always looking for good science people."

"And I haven't even pulled out my mad skillz yet," Barry says.

"No one says that anymore," Sara says, looking amused. "Assuming they said it, ever."

"It's definitely a first for a police investigation," Joe says pointedly.

Barry zips it.

Well, he tries. Ray's actually really nice - sure, he gets distracted sometimes and goes on tangents involving the possible uses of a dwarf star alloy, but that's super interesting to Barry's mind.

Just - maybe not that relevant to the investigation.

"So where exactly did you say the - ah - 'heat gun alloy' was?" Joe finally says.

"Over here," Ray says, gesturing at a set of shelves.

"You just let it sit out there?" Eddie says, frowning. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"It was only a model," Ray says. "We had eventually intended to make it into a gun, but we hadn't gotten anywhere near that point yet. Honestly, it was really just a lump of metal and some plans to show how it could be shaped to deal with the heat. The design of the alloy was meant to let it go up to as close as humanity has yet reached to absolute hot - which is to say, very, very hot - in a logistical manner, assuming you could fashion some source of energy that could get you the power you'd need to get there. The designs were suggestions on how to strengthen the metal so that it wouldn't melt by itself."

"That’s why the dwarf star alloys!" Barry exclaims. "If you make metal in part out of stuff that's been exposed to stars -"

"There's nothing on earth that should be able to melt it," Ray says, beaming. "Exactly! Are you sure I can't offer you a job?"

"Quite sure," Barry laughs. "But thanks for the offer. Can I examine the area?"

"You're welcome to, but it's been cleaned. And, well, a lab..."

"Industrial strength cleaner," Barry says, nodding. He's not going to find anything. But he'll look.

"While Mr. Allen does that, can you take us to your security system?" Eddie asks. "We'd like to look at the logs of who might have been able to access the alloy over the last few months."

"Sure," Ray says, though he looks longingly over to where Barry is unpacking his kit. "Follow me."

Barry's working by himself when there's a noise from outside. A crash, then barely audible cursing.

It's totally none of Barry's business.

Besides, it's a lab. If he wants to look out a window, he'd have to stand on a table, and that would be super unprofessional.

Naturally, Barry finds himself on his tip-toes on one of the sturdier-looking tables in under a minute.

He'd get down and scrub it off before anyone notices.

There's a guy in the alley outside, big guy, bald, shoulders round with muscle that's apparent under his cloth jacket even from Barry's vantage point. He looks pretty hot, though Barry can't see his face.

He's talking to Felicity Smoak, who seems to have knocked over a trash can and is waving her hands emphatically and bouncing a little on her toes in excitement.

Maybe he's an employee?

But if that's the case, why are they talking in an alleyway instead of indoors? He wouldn't have pegged Felicity as a smoker.

Huh. Weird.

There's a noise from the door and Barry has to scramble to get down from his perch in time to play it casual by the right table.

The table next to the right table. Damnit!

"Oh, good, you're done," Ray says, beaming as he sweeps into the room, luckily not noticing Barry’s unusual placement. Joe looks tired of Ray's sunny optimism already and Eddie's got his thinking face firmly fixed on. "Any chance I can take you all out to eat? I know a great Italian place..."

"Sorry," Joe says, only barely managing sincere. "We can't be seen to be influenced by someone even peripherally involved in an investigation."

"Well, maybe when your investigation is done, then," Ray says.

"We'll review department policy," Joe says, meaning hell no.

Ray and Sara then proceed to bustle them out in a haze of overwhelming good cheer that explains why Joe is looking like he's on the verge of murder. There's nothing like someone being aggressively, cheerfully unhelpful when you've running on three cups of coffee and no sleep.

Felicity's in the lobby, waving goodbye, and as Barry passes her, he notices the faintest smell of smoke lingering on her clothing.

Guess she is a smoker after all.

Though, that mention of Italian has him craving dinner...

#my fic #flashwave #mick rory #barry allen #summer in the city

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oovitus · 6 years

Text

I want to be ‘That Girl’. How you can successfully turn body envy into action.

Ah, That Girl. She’s got a defined waist, hair that looks styled even when it’s not, and a noticeable lack of kid throw-up on her sweater.

After coaching thousands of clients, I can confidently say: Wanting to be That Girl can either propel you toward your goal… or completely paralyze you. Here’s what to do about it.

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Ever look at someone, and think, “wow, she’s really got it all together”?

Maybe you’ve wondered what her secret is.

Maybe you’ve also wondered why you can’t seem to get things together the same way.

Not. Even. Close.

Your desire to be “That Girl” can either propel you toward your goal… or completely paralyze you.

In this article, I’m going to tell you the truth about “That Girl.” (Hint: it’s not something you’ll find on her super-polished Facebook profile or her gorgeous #nofilter Instagram feed.)

And I’ll show you how to use this kind of comparison to work for you, instead of against you.

++++

Before digging in, however, I wanted to let you know that soon we’ll be opening up spots in our Precision Nutrition Coaching program.

You see, twice a year we work with small groups of men and women hoping to look better, feel better, and gain control over their health and fitness.

Over the course of 12 months together, we help them get into the best shape of their lives… and stay that way for good.

For a sneak peek at the amazing things we’ve helped our clients accomplish, check out this short video:

vimeo

Meet some of the people whose bodies — and lives — have been changed by Precision Nutrition Coaching.

Want to learn even more? Join the Presale List Today.

During the Precision Nutrition Coaching program we’ll guide you through important, permanent improvements in your eating, exercise, body, and health.

The results?

You’ll lose the weight (and body fat) you haven’t been able to shed for years. You’ll build physical strength and gain confidence. And you’ll end up feeling like the healthiest, strongest, fittest version of yourself.

In other words, we’ll help you become your own version of “That Girl”.

Which brings us back to today’s article…

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So there’s this woman. She’s awesome. Inspiring, even.

She looks fabulous, confident, and comfortable in her own skin. She’s into Pilates or running or Crossfit or kale juice or something else that keeps her full of energy.

She rocks Lululemon pants and skinny jeans. Yes, even after three angelic children.

She totally, completely has it all together. And she’s the number one request from women who join Precision Nutrition Coaching:

I want to be That Girl.

We all know That Girl.

That Girl is a lawyer, or a neurosurgeon, or an international diplomat, or perhaps a stay-at-home mother. Whatever she does, she excels at it and is fulfilled.

You can find her on social media using hashtags like #honored and #grateful and #blessed — and she means it.

“Make me look like That Girl.”

Twenty-plus years ago, That Girl was Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2.

These days, she’s Jessica Alba or Eva Mendes or Kendall Jenner on Instagram.

And, on the home front, you might have seen That Girl at school drop-off, at the grocery store, or dominating the running trails.

(Of course, while she’s dropping off three well-groomed offspring, you’re shoving aside banana peels and empty soda cups to make room for your kid’s dog-hair-encrusted car seat. And you’re wearing your husband’s track pants with baby spit-up because they’re the only things that fit you right now.)

You can’t help but think…

Why does she have it all together, when I so clearly do not?

Actually, That Girl doesn’t have it all together. I know, because I coached her.

At a certain point, no matter who you are, coaching requires you to get a little bit honest and a little bit vulnerable. Yes, I’ve seen it all.

I’ve had women stand before me to get measurements taken, half-naked and feeling exposed in their underwear, without the soft lighting and baby oil used in photo shoots.

I’ve seen a lot of tears, even from the most rock-solid, wall-of-muscle types. (Think That Girl wouldn’t collapse into a ball of sobs on the floor of a public bathroom? Think again.)

I’ve heard it all. I’ve heard about the secret Oreo and Nutella binges, about the even-more-secret eating disorders, about the booze and the sneaky cigarettes and the injuries and the heartbreak and the crazy boss and the reasons why your mom always liked your sister best and why it feels like you can never measure up.

It doesn’t matter what size you are, whether you have abs, whether you know how to apply false eyelashes, or whether you’ve ever lifted a barbell in your life.

I’ve had your emotional throw-up all over me.

And it’s OK. It’s great, actually.

Really. You know why? Because…

“That Girl” doesn’t exist.

It’s easy to believe that Everyone Else is doing so much better than you.

After all, everybody’s social media feed tells you something different. Between Instagram and the fitness magazines and the “best booty beach body bikini bonanza” campaigns, it can seem like Everyone Else can handle their lives.

Everyone Else is losing weight or gaining muscle or getting fitter so much faster and more effortlessly than you.

Everyone Else has their shit together. Everyone Else has everything you don’t.

It feels like you’re the only person in the world with your problems. That it’s much harder for you than for everyone else.

But the truth is:

There is no Everyone Else.

You see…

No one can escape the reality of family and deadlines and the thermodynamic laws that govern metabolism.

Not Jessica Alba, not Eva Mendes, not anyone.

That Girl doesn’t exist the way you think she does.

We are all imperfect, wonderful, messy, very-much-human beings with hopes and fears and desires and neuroses and jobs and lives and kids and dogs or cats and family demands and toilets that need unclogging and lines-becoming-wrinkles and hangnails and alarms that go off too early and a love of chocolate-chip cookies… and all the rest of reality.

None of it gets easier with make-believe.

It’s only once we’re able to be honest about what’s going on in their lives — to stop worrying about being the only person who isn’t fit enough, smart enough, together enough, getting enough things done in a day, a good enough mom / wife / worker, whatever — that we can start becoming our own versions of That Girl.

Want to know how it’s done? Check out these 6 steps.

Step 1. Reconsider your expectations.

I have good news for you, and I have bad news.

The good news is, if you’re looking to get into reasonable, moderate shape — or even pretty good shape — you are completely capable of doing so.

You can regain control of your life and your habits. You can overcome emotional eating issues. You can take care of others while still taking care of yourself. In fact, you can even build a body that you love, and are proud of.

I know. I know. That body-love probably seems crazy and impossible right now. But with some small, consistent changes, and support, these things are totally doable.

On the other hand, getting cover-model lean and ripped (especially if you want it to happen overnight and especially if you want it to last longer than 24 hours) probably won’t be worth your while.

As we explored in our article The Cost of Getting Lean, getting into magazine-cover shape is intense. You have to give up a lot of your life to do this.

You eat out of Tupperware. You measure everything that goes into your mouth. Your entire routine revolves around eating (or not eating), working out, and sleeping so you have enough energy to work out again.

Sure, some people do this successfully. You could get Cameron-Diaz-ripped if you literally had nothing else to prioritize in your life.

But here’s the secret: Those people you see in the magazines (the people you imagine are “Everybody Else”) are professionals who make their living that way. 99.99 percent of us are not those people.

Those pros only look like that for a few hours or days. They pour thousands of hours and dollars into the project of getting super lean and ripped. Which means that even the 0.01 percent still don’t look like that all the time.

Nor are their lives awesome. In fact, arguably, their lives are much less awesome than you think. They’re eating three ounces of plain cold chicken out of a Ziploc bag at a family barbecue before they go and do their second workout of the day.

In short:

Getting into slightly better shape, or a slightly healthier routine, doesn’t take much effort. That may be what is realistic for most of us, right now.

Getting into epic shape takes tremendous sacrifice… and kinda sucks. It probably isn’t worth it for most of us, right now.

Getting into epic shape creates other problems. Because of the demands of their job, cover models are often less happy, healthy, and balanced than the average person. (If you’ve ever chased this dream, you may have discovered this firsthand in the form of workout injuries, anxiety and depression, disordered eating, hormonal disruption, social isolation, and a host of other problems.)

So if magazine covers are off the table at the moment, what can you do?

Step 2. Find new ‘That Girl’ inspiration.

How about your kid’s preschool teacher? She’s on her feet all day, spends recess playing tag with 4-year-olds, and has patience and calm like you’ve never seen. How does she keep up her energy?

Or the mom on your block who always seems like she’s having fun playing with her kids, and not afraid to get goofy or messy or even a little scratched up in the process. Does she have any advice for you?

What about the seventy-something who’s aging so gracefully? What has her daily routine looked like throughout the years?

Or consider your neighbor who’s so good at growing her own veggies — and always willing to share her sun-ripened tomatoes with you.

When our clients shift their perspective to “good enough”, “a little bit better”, or “just practicing”, their progress tends to pick up noticeably.

Why? They’re able to focus on something that actually works: small moments of health, fitness, and wellness that they can do… today.

Success is almost always built from putting small things on top of small things on top of small things… until they’re transformed into big things.

Step 3. Learn to be OK with being “not OK”.

Nobody really has it all together; certainly not all the time. And we’re all at least a little bit “not OK”.

And that, paradoxically, is totally OK.

When you’re a Precision Nutrition Coaching client you’ll hear phrases like:

Step into the discomfort.

Let things be a bit messy.

You are human. You are normal. You are not a weirdo. You are not alone.

You’ll also hear questions like:

How might you make things a little bit simpler for yourself?

What does it feel like to sit with the discomfort of change?

How could you stretch yourself just a bit?

We help you deal with that “not OK-ness” because life is never going to be completely OK, 100 percent of the time.

It’s not going anywhere. Grappling with pain — whether that’s actual pain and suffering, or just small daily annoyances — is part of being human.

As adults, we recognize life’s complexity and richness. Wanting to “be perfect” or “have it all” is not an adult wish. It’s a child wish: to have all the toys, all the time, even your sister’s.

Everyone has a struggle, even That Girl. You might just not see it.

For instance:

48% of our female clients take prescription medication.

Of those taking meds, 33% take antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication.

36% of our clients have injuries. And many struggle with chronic pain.

27% of our female clients are over 50. (Even if you’re healthy, aging brings its own challenges.)

In addition, many of our female clients struggle with a “let’s call it complicated” relationship with food.

Plus, they feel overdrawn. After work, family, and household responsibilities, they often don’t feel like they have much left over for themselves. And despite all their knowledge about food and fitness, they struggle to be consistent and take care of themselves the way they’d like.

Many of these challenges are invisible. You often can’t see pain or disability. You often can’t see psychological distress. Unless you see someone pop a pill, you don’t know what they’re taking.

And guess what — the PN staff struggle with the exact same things.

We have injuries. Or had them. Or will have them.

We’ve struggled with mental and emotional health sometimes. Or often.

We’ve struggled with addictions — whether that’s to work, or exercise, or food, or alcohol, or anything else that someone could get hooked on.

We’ve gained too much weight, or been scrawny, or gone weeks or months without working out.

We’ve been the ones wearing the baby barf sweatpants.

No matter what the challenge is, at least a few of us have faced it.

And remember, That Girl, who looks so fit and healthy, may be in the middle of a long and difficult journey.

Like the cancer survivors whom we coached through post-treatment rehab.

Like people who are coming back from an injury or illness.

Like people who just have so much on their metaphorical plate, and feel every emotion — stress, happiness, sadness, you name it — as hunger.

No matter how someone looks, you don’t know what it’s taken to get where they are today. We’re all out here in the field together. Trying our best under imperfect circumstances.

Accepting imperfection is your ticket to being your version of That Girl.

Step 4. For certain symptoms, explore deeper.

It’s OK to not be OK. None of us are 100 percent OK. At the same time, sometimes things are really not-OK, including:

chronic insomnia or poor quality sleep

chronic pain or lack of mobility

frequent injuries and/or illnesses

chronic and debilitating depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns

chronic social isolation and relationship difficulties

chronic lethargy and lack of energy

not menstruating (if you should be, i.e you’re not pregnant or post-menopause)

feeling like you need alcohol or recreational drugs to function

concerns with food, eating, and/or exercise that seem to be taking over your life and/or harming your health…

Sometimes, being in the depths of not-OK — maybe it’s triggered by a horrendously stressful situation at work, getting injured, or having lots of family obligations to fulfill — is the wake-up call we need to start working on being a little more OK.

Pay attention to your “dashboard indicator lights”.

Are your current struggles and imperfections more like garden-variety ups and downs? If they are, that’s just fine. It’s all part of being human.

On the other hand, if something feels really off, you might need a little extra help. You might talk to a trained coach, counselor, or other health care professional.

Step 5. Chase your awesome.

It’s not all-or-nothing. If you can’t do an exercise or make the healthy dish you found on Pinterest, don’t let it be a reason to do nothing.

Find a work-around. Get help if you need it. Trust yourself to devise a system that works for you. For example…

If your knees aren’t as sturdy as they used to be, think about branching out from your usual running routine. Or ask a coach how an exercise can be modified.

If you don’t like cooking or working out alone, find someone else to do this with. Grab a friend for Sunday batch-cooking day, or check out a group class.

Having trouble “finding time” for things? Get out a calendar and start planning. Book appointments with yourself. Track your time so you spot inefficiencies. Set alarms and reminders, stick Post-it notes, do whatever it takes.

Everyone has to work at it, even That Girl. Especially at the beginning.

People hate the feeling of exercise when they’re out of shape. People suck when they start a new sport. No one is good at squats the first time.

But it’s not until we can accept how things are right now — including how lost, overwhelmed, and vulnerable we sometimes feel — that we can change.

If we are willing to start where we are, a whole bunch of truly amazing things can happen:

We discover we don’t have to do it all by ourselves. We can ask for help (and receive that help graciously).

We evolve past an “all-or-nothing” attitude, to see the tiny joys and achievements that are everywhere.

We start to notice small improvements — in our bodies, our behavior, and our mental attitude. And feel really, really good about these things.

We can pick ourselves up after we fall down, and have the courage to keep going. Our confidence increases and we feel stronger and more resilient.

We start to do the things we didn’t think we could do. We look better, feel better, and discover that, somewhere along the way, we became…

… our own, unique, imperfect version of That Girl.

How did we do it?

By finding our own awesome.

Looking for it. Chasing it. Making it happen.

Right here, right now. In the middle of our messy, “so-not-That-Girl” lives.

What to do next

Most women I’ve coached spend a lot of time thinking about That Girl. But instead of feeling inspired, they feel paralyzed. That’s when we focus on the following:

1. Don’t get hung up on failures.

Most people who enroll in Precision Nutrition Coaching feel like they’ve “failed” at losing weight and getting in shape a bunch of times by the time they come to us.

For women, that leads to lots of negative feelings — especially shame and sadness.

But when I look at you, I don’t see a “failure”. I see hope, courage and persistence. Because after every time you’ve fallen off the wagon, even if you’ve fallen so hard that your head is still spinning, you get back up. You keep trying. You keep hoping.

I don’t see every time you ended a fitness program or a nutrition plan. I see every time you tried to start again.

Now that’s courage. So I don’t have to “inspire” or “motivate” you. Your hope springs eternal.

As a coach, my job is to help you start better, and keep going on the right path — a path that works for you, and your busy, messy, real, “imperfect” life.

And, at Precision Nutrition, we want to help you learn and discover what does work for you, so you can just keep on doing it, and enjoying it. Finding the right path for your unique needs is what will help you regain ownership over your body, your health, and your “That Girl-ness”.

2. Think about what success looks like for you.

Instead of an imaginary, plastic, magazine-cover That Girl, imagine yourself… living the kind of life you want to live.

Be specific. What is That Girl doing at 3pm on a Tuesday? What does she do, or think about, or remember, when she wakes up in the morning? What does she have for lunch?

How does she think about the world? What kinds of decisions does she make about her life? What kinds of adventures does she have, and what makes those possible?

For example… is she lifting heavy weights and rocking tank tops? Doing ‘mud runs’ with her kids? Finally getting rehab for her old shoulder injury and actually doing chin-ups? Hiking in the Andes?

Don’t box yourself in with a rigid, narrow ideal. Go big and zesty with your imagined future. That Girl is having a juicy life. How?

3. Build workarounds / bridges on the path to That Girl.

OK, now, break that inspirational role model’s daily routine into very, very tiny pieces.

Maybe you imagined what she had for lunch. Now imagine her just opening the fridge. In that moment, what is she thinking? What is she doing? Start there, in that small moment.

Maybe you imagined what she did for her exercise, like hiking a gorgeous outdoor trail, or surfing, or tango dancing. Now imagine her just putting her hiking boots on, or stepping into the surf. In that moment, what is she thinking? How is she taking on this adventure? Start there, in that small moment.

Maybe your version of “surfing” today is dipping your toes in the local pool at the Y. Maybe your version of mountain climbing today is walking your aging pug up a stiff hill. Maybe your version of sexy tango today is wiggling your slightly arthritic hips to “Bootylicious” as you make dinner for the kids. Good enough. Now you’ve started.

Become an engineer of your life: Start with the outcome you want, and work backward. Break that outcome down into tinier and tinier pieces until you arrive at something you can do in the next five minutes to work towards that goal, and that life, and that ultimate adventure.

Take one small problem at a time — one barrier to eating well or working out, and play with different ways to solve it. How can you overcome that one obstacle today? Can you do it again tomorrow?

4. Just start acting like That Girl.

Adopt her confidence. Assume you’re capable of the things she is. Strut a little when you walk. Cruise hiking boot websites and dream of mountains. Whisper to yourself that you, and not cruel fate, are the boss of your life.

Would That Girl do an extra rep or an extra 100 meters? Would That Girl sign up for a Zumba class even though she steps on her own feet? Would That Girl wear the crazy-colored workout tights that she loves, even though some jerk told her she had a big bum when she was 15?

How would That Girl kick the world in the ass today? And how can you at least start to pretend to do the same… until you practice so much, you forget that kicking the world in the ass wasn’t your natural habit?

No, you can’t lose 40 pounds or get ripped overnight. But if you just take on a few of That Girl’s habits, one at a time and little by little, you may eventually find yourself living a much more fabulous life in a much stronger, happier, healthier body.

5. Start assembling your team.

Truth: Life is not a do-it-yourself project. Nobody — not even Beyoncé — is that independent.

So, ask yourself:

Who do you need in your life to help you become the person you want to be?

What support systems will you need to become your own version of “That Girl”?

Do you need to add people to your “Project OK” team? Such as a trusted buddy or family member, a coach, counselor, or other health care provider? If so, find them and share your vision with them. Ask for what you need. Let them help.

Change does not happen spontaneously. Along with helpers, you need systems. Things that remind you, guide you, help you, fill in the gaps for you, and generally help you stay more or less on track.

Start actively seeking out the support systems that will help you get to where you want to go.

Want help becoming the healthiest, fittest, strongest version of you?

Most people know that regular movement, eating well, sleep, and stress management are important for looking and feeling better. Yet they need help applying that knowledge in the context of their busy, sometimes stressful lives.

That’s why we work closely with Precision Nutrition Coaching clients to help them lose fat, get stronger, and improve their health… no matter what challenges they’re dealing with.

It’s also why we work with health, fitness and wellness professionals (through our Level 1 and Level 2 Certification programs) to teach them how to coach their own clients through the same challenges.

Interested in Precision Nutrition Coaching? Join the presale list; you’ll save up to 54% and secure a spot 24 hours early.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Coaching on Wednesday, June 6th, 2018.

If you’re interested in coaching and want to find out more, I’d encourage you to join our presale list below. Being on the list gives you two special advantages.

You’ll pay less than everyone else. At Precision Nutrition we like to reward the most interested and motivated people because they always make the best clients. Join the presale list and you’ll save up to 54% off the general public price, which is the lowest price we’ve ever offered.

You’re more likely to get a spot. To give clients the personal care and attention they deserve, we only open up the program twice a year. Last time we opened registration, we sold out within minutes. By joining the presale list you’ll get the opportunity to register 24 hours before everyone else, increasing your chances of getting in.

If you’re ready to change your body, and your life, with help from the world’s best coaches, this is your chance.

[Note: If your health and fitness are already sorted out, but you’re interested in helping others, check out our Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification program].

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seekinghope · 7 years

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Get to know me.

1. What’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person?

*I got sick when I was 14 years old with a chronic headache disorder. I believe that the last 8 years of suffering has made me a stronger person. I was able to make it through crippling depression, severe body pain, head pain and a suicide attempt. So I know what I deserve and how I deserve to be treated. Even if it is painful to let go.

2. What’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak?

*I was almost raped when I was 14 years old. I remember the intense fear I had in my stomach when this man picked me up and tried to carry me to his room. What was even worse was that my mother was too drunk to even notice or care when I told her.

3. Where is one place you feel most like yourself?

*Anywhere where there is no sound - somewhere isolated from the hustle and bustle of the city. It used to be the quarry but now it’s really anywhere I can just be alone.

4. Where is your favorite place to escape to?

* *Anywhere where there is no sound - somewhere isolated from the hustle and bustle of the city. It used to be the quarry but now it’s really anywhere I can just be alone.

5. Who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today?

*My parents I suppose and my sister. My parents have influenced me to try and be a completely different person to who they are. They have motivated me to never become them and in that way, have influenced my decisions in life. My sister has shown me what is takes to pick up your bags and leave when things are no longer good for you and how to be independent.

6. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

*I don’t know. Maybe my crippling anxiety that I will never really be good enough for Simeon.

7. If you had one day left to live, what would you do first?

*I’d like to wake up in bed with Sim and treat it like a weekend. I think there would be a lot of food involved as well.

8. What decade do you feel you most belong in?

*I don’t know but probably the decade where women were fighting for their rights and had a voice to be heard. It sounds stupid because that sounds like the present day, but now its more about telling people to shut up more than anything.

9. Who are you closest to in your family? Why?

*Probably my brother but to be honest, I don’t know if I am close to anybody anymore. I know Gabe will always be there for me though.

10. Who is the one person in this world that knows you best?

*I don’t think any one person truly knows me but I like to think that Simeon knows me best.

11. What is your favorite quality about your best friend?

*Her ability to see intelligence and potential.

12. When you were younger what did you think you were going to be when you grew up?

*I thought I was going to be a lawyer of a medical doctor.

13. If you could identify with one fictional character (from a book, show, or movie) who would it be?

I can’t even answer this question

14. Do you easily accept compliments? Or do you hate compliments?

*I get seriously awkward.

15. Is your favorite attribute about yourself physical or non-physical?

*Non-physical

16. What is your favorite physical attribute about yourself?

*I think I have a nice face

17. What is your favorite non-physical attribute about yourself?

*My ability to read people I suppose and my intelligence

18. Do you believe in love at first sight?

*Love at first insight

19. Do you believe in soul mates?

*Yes I do

20. How seriously do you take horoscopes?

*I think it’s a waste of time

21. Have you ever been in love? How many times?

*Once. But have I ever loved? and deeply? Yes. Twice.

22. What makes you fall in love with someone?

*I don’t know, I just knew that the day I met Sim I wanted to be with him.

23. What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable?

*Vulnerability means singing in the car. Vulnerability means coming to you when I cry. Vulnerability means telling you I want to die.

24. What’s one thing you’re scared to ask a man, but really want to?

*Do you think about other women?

25. If you were a man for a day, what would be the first thing you do?

*Swing my penis around.. Cmon..

26. What do you find most attractive about each sex?

*Men = their smell

Women = their confidence

27. What’s one thing you’d love to learn more about?

*Articulation of the English language

28. What is something you’ve never done that you’ve always wanted to do?

*I’ve always wanted to pack up my bags and just move somewhere with only the savings I have.

29. Why haven’t you done it yet?

*Fear.

30. If money didn’t matter, what would your dream job be?

*The same one I am in. Microbiology

31. If you had off from work today, what would you do?

*Sleep!

32. What was the last thing that made you cry?

*Simeon moved home.

33. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

*Really laugh? Simeon.

34. What is your favorite memory?

*When my family went up the Garden route.

35. What’s the last thing that REALLY embarrassed you?

*I farted during sex.

36. What is your biggest fear?

*That I don’t achieve my career goal

37. Do you have any regrets? What’s your biggest one?

*My biggest regret is never expressing how I truly felt sooner.

38. Have you ever broken a law? If you haven’t what is one law you’d love to break?

*Shoplifted. Trespassing.

39. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

*Sex outside probably.

40. Would you have a conversation with a stranger?

*Yeah.. but aren’t we all strangers at some point?

41. Would you tell a stranger they have toilet paper hanging from their shoe? Or their dress tucked into their underwear? (Or anything else that is embarrassing to be seen in public)?

42. What’s your favorite joke?

*Whats black and white and read all over?

The newspaper *Ta’ching!*

43. Are you a dog person or a cat person?

*DOG!

44. If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?

Probably a bird - they just get to fly.

45. What’s one show, movie, or book, you’re embarrassed to admit you enjoy?

*Twilight

46. How do you think your parents would describe you as a child?

*Probably a little annoying, and a bit to feisty. I never believed in listening to anybody which of course, I brought into adulthood with me,

47. If you could go back to any age or time of your life, what age or time would it be?

*I would probably go back to being 16 and change a lot of the things I did but I don’t even know. My life worked out the way it did because of that and I would never have met Simeon otherwise.

48. What’s something you believe in that not everyone else does?

*That you have no soul - only energy. The whole thermodynamics principle that energy cannot be destroyed, only moved from one form to another.

49. What’s one thing you would say that makes you unique from other people?

*My ability to care and know somebody so well. Also probably my inability to let somebody bully me.

50. What is one thing you feel your life is missing?

*A stable family but then again,, What would that have given me?

#unsaid thoughts #thoughts #questions #life #gettoknowme #50questions #love #boyfriend #romance #friends #family #soul

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oovitus · 6 years

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I want to be ‘That Girl’. How you can successfully turn body envy into action.

Ah, That Girl. She’s got a defined waist, hair that looks styled even when it’s not, and a noticeable lack of kid throw-up on her sweater.

After coaching thousands of clients, I can confidently say: Wanting to be That Girl can either propel you toward your goal… or completely paralyze you. Here’s what to do about it.

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Ever look at someone, and think, “wow, she’s really got it all together”?

Maybe you’ve wondered what her secret is.

Maybe you’ve also wondered why you can’t seem to get things together the same way.

Not. Even. Close.

Your desire to be “That Girl” can either propel you toward your goal… or completely paralyze you.

In this article, I’m going to tell you the truth about “That Girl.” (Hint: it’s not something you’ll find on her super-polished Facebook profile or her gorgeous #nofilter Instagram feed.)

And I’ll show you how to use this kind of comparison to work for you, instead of against you.

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Before digging in, however, I wanted to let you know that soon we’ll be opening up spots in our Precision Nutrition Coaching program.

You see, twice a year we work with small groups of men and women hoping to look better, feel better, and gain control over their health and fitness.

Over the course of 12 months together, we help them get into the best shape of their lives… and stay that way for good.

For a sneak peek at the amazing things we’ve helped our clients accomplish, check out this short video:

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Meet some of the people whose bodies — and lives — have been changed by Precision Nutrition Coaching.

Want to learn even more? Join the Presale List Today.

During the Precision Nutrition Coaching program we’ll guide you through important, permanent improvements in your eating, exercise, body, and health.

The results?

In other words, we’ll help you become your own version of “That Girl”.

Which brings us back to today’s article…

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So there’s this woman. She’s awesome. Inspiring, even.

She looks fabulous, confident, and comfortable in her own skin. She’s into Pilates or running or Crossfit or kale juice or something else that keeps her full of energy.

She rocks Lululemon pants and skinny jeans. Yes, even after three angelic children.

She totally, completely has it all together. And she’s the number one request from women who join Precision Nutrition Coaching:

I want to be That Girl.

We all know That Girl.

That Girl is a lawyer, or a neurosurgeon, or an international diplomat, or perhaps a stay-at-home mother. Whatever she does, she excels at it and is fulfilled.

You can find her on social media using hashtags like #honored and #grateful and #blessed — and she means it.

“Make me look like That Girl.”

Twenty-plus years ago, That Girl was Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2.

These days, she’s Jessica Alba or Michelle Rodriguez or Kendall Jenner on Instagram.

And, on the home front, you might have seen That Girl at school drop-off, at the grocery store, or dominating the running trails.

You can’t help but think…

Why does she have it all together, when I so clearly do not?

Actually, That Girl doesn’t have it all together. I know, because I coached her.

At a certain point, no matter who you are, coaching requires you to get a little bit honest and a little bit vulnerable. Yes, I’ve seen it all.

I’ve had women stand before me to get measurements taken, half-naked and feeling exposed in their underwear, without the soft lighting and baby oil used in photo shoots.

I’ve seen a lot of tears, even from the most rock-solid, wall-of-muscle types. (Think That Girl wouldn’t collapse into a ball of sobs on the floor of a public bathroom? Think again.)

It doesn’t matter what size you are, whether you have abs, whether you know how to apply false eyelashes, or whether you’ve ever lifted a barbell in your life.

I’ve had your emotional throw-up all over me.

And it’s OK. It’s great, actually.

Really. You know why? Because…

“That Girl” doesn’t exist.

It’s easy to believe that Everyone Else is doing so much better than you.

Everyone Else is losing weight or gaining muscle or getting fitter so much faster and more effortlessly than you.

Everyone Else has their shit together. Everyone Else has everything you don’t.

It feels like you’re the only person in the world with your problems. That it’s much harder for you than for everyone else.

But the truth is:

There is no Everyone Else.

You see…

No one can escape the reality of family and deadlines and the thermodynamic laws that govern metabolism.

Not Jessica Alba, not Michelle Rodriguez, not anyone.