#I always think about the fact that we know how mature Jack is in the epilogue

[outlawruben]

The fact that John was the same age as Jack in the Epilogue when he was about to be hanged for his crimes.. (12 years old)

Yes, this is in fact what I’m thinking about

(I also think his efforts are overlooked because he struggles with creating a stable environment for Jack when his wasn’t always stable)

(Anyways, crying in the club over baby John crying in fear on the gallows in 1885)

[heavyhitterheaux]

Baby Blues

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: mature topic ahead, mentions of postpartum depression

Synopsis: The two of you are at odds once again, and deep down, Jack knows that there is something wrong with his wife but can't figure out what it is. He makes it his mission to get down to the bottom of it in order to help you.

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

The full fic to this concept

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

You massaged your temples as you sat down on your bed finally able to take a breather. All three babies had been officially home for two months and instead of it getting easier, you felt as if it was getting harder. Jack had been sent to the store by you to get more formula since your milk supply hadn't been that great lately. Probably due to the fact that you were barely eating, but that was another conversation.

The hope was that they would at least sleep for two hours so that you could lay down yourself, but you knew that it probably wouldn’t work out in your favor. You and Jack were still at odds and it would be sometimes awkward with both of you at home with the triplets which was 98% of the time. After almost losing you, that definitely took a toll on him, but the two of you would still argue about unnecessary things that wouldn't matter twenty four hours later.

In your mind you were trying your absolute hardest while trying to recover from having them since it hadn't been anything but easy. At this point, you didn't want to divorce him. Possibly legal separation, but the thought of divorcing him completely had never crossed your mind. Despite what had gone on in your marriage, at the end of the day you still loved him and couldn't see yourself living without him.

The front door opened indicating that Jack was back and you soon heard his footsteps as he made his way upstairs. He peeked in your bedroom and saw you sitting on the bed and staring off into space.

He leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead and you gave him a weak smile.

“You feel okay, today?” He asked as he sat down next to you, but you just shrugged.

“I don't know. I just…” You got quiet and didn’t finish your sentence.

“Baby, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong.” Jack replied as he grabbed your hand to place in his.

“I don't need any help. I'm fine.”

“Y/N, why are we doing this again? You're shutting me out and I'm trying to understand what is happening with my wife.”

“Hmm, so now you want to try and understand? You weren't concerned with how I felt basically the entire year in 2022 so why now?”

“I already apologized for that and I thought we moved past that.”

“Who moved past it? Because I didn't.”

“Why do we ALWAYS do this?” Jack exclaimed while throwing his hands up towards you, but all you did was attempt to put your excuse of hair into a ponytail because you didn’t know the last time you actually brushed it.

“We always don’t do anything, you brought it up so I answered your question.” You fired back while looking at the two mismatched socks on your feet.

“I’m trying here so the least you can do is cut me some slack!”

“Jackman, if this is what you call trying to at least attempt to act like you care about this marriage, this is one hell of a poor job.”

“Here we fucking go. Don’t you think that if I wanted a divorce or to separate from you that I would have done it already?” Jack asked and you could tell he was immediately filled with regret as his eyes went wide and all you did was stare at him.

“There’s still time to go to the courthouse today if that’s your heart’s desire since it’s only eleven in the morning. But let’s be serious I saved your fucking image because come the fuck on, I could have thrown your ass under the bus. No matter how you mistreated me and put your wife, someone that you gave your last name to on the back burner, I still did right by you. As much shit as you did and it wasn’t a secret, it got played out for the entire world to see but yet, I never spoke bad about you ONE TIME. Because as much as you constantly give me headaches, I love you and I do want to save this marriage. But if I’m the only one trying then fuck it. The one thing that really sticks out in my mind is when I actually did fight Anitta and you didn’t even ask me if I was okay, not once. Despite how she had acted towards me ever since she met me. I told you how I felt about her and all you did was ignore me in order to try and boost your career. The career that I helped you create, but whatever.” You simply shrugged your shoulders and tried to walk past Jack, but he caught your wrist and lightly tugged on it.

Deep down, he knew that he had been difficult towards you and it had been hard to process his emotions and Jack did feel some type of way about how he had treated you. He broke the one promise to you when you told him not to ever forget where he came from or the people that helped him get to where he was, but now he had done the exact opposite and the fame had got to his head.

It took him hearing it from his mother to finally realize it

“Y/N…. wait a second.”

All you did was turn to look up at him and let out a deep sigh.

“I promise to do better and do right by you….. And them. I’m sorry I just…. I know for a fact that I have to be better about expressing how I feel towards you and a few months ago, I thought that I was going to lose you forever. Please don’t ever think that I don’t love you because I do. I love you more than life itself and just for the past year I haven’t been the best husband that I could be and want to get back in your good graces and fix this. I’m tired of us fighting and we have three little ones that don’t need to grow up in a dysfunctional household. You know for a fact that divorce would never be an option for me on my end. I was serious when I asked you to marry me at nineteen and I’m still serious now.”

“It’s not just us anymore and they should always be your first thought.” You quietly said as you could hear through the baby monitor that they were awake.

“I’ll…. Go make an appointment with Fatima after I check on them.”

The two of you had been seeing a marriage counselor named Fatima and you could tell that she was genuine and also wanted the best for the two of you.

“That sounds like a good idea.” You quietly answered as you simply hugged yourself in your pink oversized sweater that Jack bought you years ago, not bothering to make eye contact with him.

“We’re going to get through this, baby. One step at a time.” Jack quietly said as he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

All you did was nod in response as you sat down on the bed and simply stared off into space.

Jack simply sighed as tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he walked out of your shared bedroom and was on his way to the triplets room when he pulled out his phone to do a quick google search.

He knew that something was wrong.

What are the signs of postpartum depression?

Insomnia.

Fatigue.

Poor appetite.

Mood swings.

Irritability.

As Jack kept reading the symptoms on the list, just about every one of them he had seen in you over the past month and he was kicking himself for not noticing sooner.

You were hurting and he was simply adding to it which was the last thing that he would have ever wanted to do. After checking on the triplets, he would text Fatima and look more into getting you help for this because this had to be the only explanation for what was going on with you. After coming home, you had been so happy and now it seems like a switch went off and you were the complete opposite. Jack quickly wiped away his tears before making his way into the triplets room to see Axel wide awake and staring at him. He quickly picked him up and cuddled him closer to his chest.

“Axel, I have to figure out what's going on with your mother and get her the help that she needs. I want for her to be able to see the three of you grow up, but if she keeps going how she is right now, that might not happen. I'm trying to be a better husband and a good father to you three, but I don't think I'm doing such a good job.” He quietly confessed as he brought him downstairs in order to make a bottle for him.

As he waited for it to heat up, he saw you come into the kitchen and attempted to take Axel from him. But you quickly heard his protests.

“Baby, go lay down. I got them. You're tired.”

“I'm fine. I can feed him.”

“Y/N, please just listen to me. Did you even sleep at all last night? You aren't fine.” Jack asked as you looked away from him and he knew that he had his answer.

“I need for you to rest. Don’t worry about them.”

“But…”

“Please don't argue with me. I know when my wife is tired.”

“Okay.” You quietly said as you made your way back upstairs.

When Jack had woken you up by kissing yojr forehead, it was starting to get dark outside and as you sat up in bed you simply sighed.

“Baby, come on. I ran bath water for you.” Jack didn't wait for a response as he grabbed your hand and led you into the bathroom and began to help you take off your clothes.

You glanced down at your scar across your abdomen and quickly looked away. It was still hard for you to look at seeing that you almost lost your life.

Jack helped you sit down in the bathtub and kissed your cheek and made sure you were settled.

“I'll get some clothes for you to wear and put them out on the bed and I'll order you some food. Wing Stop okay?”

You nodded your head as Jack left the bathroom, but he made sure to keep the door cracked in order to be able to hear you if you needed him. Ten minutes had probably passed before the tears started streaming down your face and they wouldn't stop no matter how hard you tried.

You were trying to stay quiet so that Jack wouldn't hear you, but he did once he had heard a loud sob. He immediately stopped what he was doing to go in the bathroom to check on you and the sight in front of him broke his heart.

“Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Did something happen?”

At this point your knees were to your chest as your head was resting on top of them and your arms were hugging your legs as you continued to sob.

“Jack…” You started to say before letting out another sob.

“Yes? Baby, you're scaring me. Tell me what's wrong.” He asked again as he was now sitting on the side of the tub next to you.

“That's the problem! I don't know! I'm so sad all the time. Why do I feel like this?”

“We're going to get you help. Whatever I have to do I'm going to make sure that my wife is okay.”

“Do you promise?” You asked in a whisper as you turned to look at him.

“I promise. You aren't going to feel like this forever if I have anything to do with it. I want you to get back to being your happy bubbly self. I haven't left your side since you got pregnant and I'm not leaving now. We're going to get through this.” Jack told you as he brushed some of your hair out of your face that had fallen out of the ponytail.

You nodded as Jack grabbed the Mielle shampoo that you used for your hair and began to massage it through your scalp. He didn't even know the last time you had washed it and figured that he would do it for you so that it was one less thing that you had to worry about.

As Jack washed your hair for you and conditioned it, your thoughts were running rampant. The last thing you wanted was to feel like this and you wanted to be the best possible mother to the triplets. You deserved it and they deserved it with as hard as it was bringing them into this world and all that you went through.

After he had rinsed out your hair, he grabbed an old t-shirt to wrap around it in order for it to be able to dry as he helped you out of the bathtub. Once he did and you were facing him, he leaned down to place several kisses on your lips which you gladly accepted.

“I love you and you’re going to be okay. We're going to be okay.” He whispered and you immediately nodded.

“I love you too.”

“Let me help you get dressed so I can finish your hair for you. You want me to blow dry it or let it air dry?”

“Blow dry it, please.”

“The Harlow salon is officially in business.” Jack said and you couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh.

Once Jack had finished your hair for you and putting it up, he made sure that you ate and the two of you were now sitting against the headboard in your bedroom as he was flipping through channels on the TV. You simply went and laid your head on his chest as his arms wrapped around you and leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

“Thank you for being here for me today.” You quietly said and you hugged him tighter.

“You don't have to thank me. You're my baby and your well being is important to me. I'm always going to make sure that you're okay and I’m sorry that it took me so long to notice.”

“Notice what?”

“That my wife was hurting. You have postpartum depression, baby. I looked it up and you have almost every single symptom.”

“Oh.”

“At least we know now what's wrong and we can do what we need to do in order to get you help. You mean everything to me even though I haven't been the best at showing it. But I'm going to do better for you and them.”

You hadn't even looked up the symptoms of it, but was going to take Jack’s word for it.

“I just want to feel better and be a good mom.”

“You will feel better and you're already a good mom. You just need a little help right now and that's okay. This is more common than you think, but it's not going to be like this forever.”

“What if we have more kids and this happens again?”

“We don't need to worry about that right now. Let's just focus on getting through this first.”

You nodded your head in agreement as you turned your focus to the television and you started hearing small whimpers on the baby monitor. You made a motion to get up and Jack immediately tried to stop you.

“Babe, I can…”

“I got it. You let me rest a little bit and I feel better.”

“Are you sure?”

“Promise. I'm fine. Like you said it won't be like this forever.”

A few months later, you were sitting backstage with the triplets and Jack was due to perform along with a few other artists and he made it up in his mind that he wanted all of you to come with him. Ivy and Autumn were crawling around on their playmat with their toys while Axel was in your arms sleeping as you heard the door open and he walked in.

He leaned down to kiss you while also kissing Axel's forehead as he sat on the floor and both of the girls crawled over to him.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” He asked as he was making faces at Ivy who was laughing.

“We're fine babe for the millionth time.” You responded while laughing and checking the time on your phone.

“Just making sure!” He said as he held up his hands in defense.

Jack made sure to block off a room backstage specifically for you and the triplets. Urban would pop in from time to time to check on you too so that way they wouldn't be overwhelmed with all of the noise. There was a screen in the room so that you along with the babies would be able to watch Jack’s performance.

“Aren't you supposed to be getting dressed?”

“I had to check on my wife and babies first. Yall are my priority. They can wait.”

Just then Urban stuck his head in the door and was looking at the both of you.

“Neelam is going to murder you in the next two minutes if you don't hurry up.”

“Tell her I'm coming!”

“That's what she said.” You muttered before busting out laughing and Jack and Urban just shook their heads at you.

“And you call me the unserious one.”

“But you are!”

“You know this is the first time in a while that I've gotten a genuine smile out of you.” Jack said while getting up and coming to sit next to you.

“And I have you to thank for that.” You said as you adjusted Axel in your arms.

“Just doing my husband duties. We're in this for the long run, baby.”

“And I wouldn't have it any other way.” You replied as Jack leaned down to kiss you, but was interrupted by Axel waking up and giving him a look.

“I… Axel fix your face. Your mom was mine first.” Jack exclaimed as you laughed at the face he was making at Jack.

Axel continued to stare him down before closing his eyes again and laying his head back down.

“You know you can't get mad. He is literally you in a baby's body. But back to what I was saying. You saved me in more ways than one so thank you smush.” You said as you leaned over to kiss him again.

“You're welcome, baby girl. If it's for you I'm going to do it without a second thought.”

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, generationnow, sza, theshaderoom, and 1,592,006 others

y/ninsta: jackharlow said today is the first time in a while that he got a genuine smile out of me, so I had to take a selfie. Postpartum depression is real, and I thank my husband from the bottom of my heart for recognizing what I was going through and that I needed help. I love this life that I get to live with him and my babies 💕

jackharlow: always in your corner, baby. forever and always.

urbanwyatt: SERVING LOOKS 😍😍

danivalentine: jackharlow thank you for taking care of my baby girl. she is so loved by you and everyone else around her. 🥹

saweetie: love you mamas and we always got your back

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[matthewkniesys]

the summer before the nhl - jack hughes

a/n: this is an ig edit for my a summer thing au. you can find the details on the navigation (which is linked below) but basically reader and jack are best friends because the hughes's lake house is right beside yours but you don't talk at all during the time you aren't at the lake house. eventually the summer before jack goes to the nhl and you go to uni the two of you start catching feelings. this is that summer. hope you like it :)

a summer thing au with jack hughes

jackhughes

Liked by @/ yourusername, trevorzegras, lhughes_06 and 295 846 others

jackhughes - all my favourite people at the lake house

Tagged: @/ yourusername & trevorzegras

View Top Comments

yourusername - aww i'm one of your favourite people

↳ jackhughes - you are my favourite person

↳ yourusername - only in the summer

↳ trevorzegras - trust me it's not only in the summer

lhughes_06 - i could caption my instagram post with the same thing if you weren't here jack

↳ jackhughes - RUDE

↳ lhughes_06 - TRUE

↳ jackhughes - I'LL BLOCK YOU

↳ _quinnhughes - calm down children

alexturcotte - i think by favourite people he just means y/n

jackhughes liked this comment

yourusername

Liked by @/ yourbestfriend, jackhughes, _quinnhughes, and 80 384 others

yourusername - summer time 🤝 me and the bestie at the lake house

Tagged: @/ yourbestfriend

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jackhughes - i have a few problems with this... firstly i thoughts I was your bestie😭 and secondly where's my photo credit i took most of those

↳ yourusername - i have 2 besties and i'm not giving you credits cause every single time i asked you to take a picture you complained on and on

↳ jackhughes - i only complained cause you wouldn't let me be in the picture

trevorzegras - y/n's best friend is actually the hottest person alive...will you go out with me??

↳ yourbestfriend - trevor you're a pest and you already asked me out 3 times to day and the answer is still the same

↳ trevorzegras - it's okay one day i'll convince you i won't give up on true love yet

↳ yourusername - um trevor it's not gonna happen

↳ trevorzegras - don't crush my dreams yet y/n

yourbestfriend

Liked by @/ trevorzegras, _quinnhughes, nicohischier and 63 493 others

yourbestfriend - welcome to pictures of jack and y/n that they don't know i took of them...they are in fact in love

Tagged: @/ yourusername & jackhughes

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yourusername - WHAT IN THE WORLD YOU ARE SO CREEPY

↳ yourbestfriend - as your best friend in the world it's my job to tell you how it is and i'm telling you that you and jack are in love

↳ yourusername - ARE NOT

↳ yourbestfriend - ARE TOO

↳ _quinnhughes - am i the only mature one around here? (also you two are in love)

jackhughes - i mean we are pretty cute

↳ yourbestfriend - SEE EVEN JACK WILL ACKNOWLEDGE IT

↳ yourusername - awknoledge what?? i have no idea what you two are talking about

↳ jackhughes - i think you do know...

a summer thing au

thanks for reading🫶requests are always open for fics, blurbs, ig edits and just thoughts!!

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues @corneliaskates @imma-mirrorball @hvghes @emptyflowerpots @h0e4fictionalme-n @ivy-34 @jayisamirrorball

join my taglist

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Replies! About Jamil’s roommate, twst boys making each other jealous, Jade feeding Silver funny mushrooms (again) and some other twst stuff.

Anonymous asked:

hi i love ur art sm. i love how often u draw ortho bc some of the twst fandom always leave him out <//3 thank u and have a great day!!

Thank you, Anon!! It means a lot! <3

Ortho really is underappreciated, and I think a lot of people just aren’t sure what to do with him… and some people are genuinely uncomfortable with him lol But he has so much to offer and is so unique and interesting that I can’t really help it. He is a joy to draw, and I am always happy when people like drawings of him.

Have a great day too!

Anonymous asked:

I don't like your latest artwork at all. At all!!! It's smug aura mocks me...

that feeling when you realize you will never have a cozy morning jamil greeting you when you wake up. why even live

(DON'T READ THE REST of this ask if you don't want spoilers for his birthday vignette, I don't even know if what I'm going to say counts as spoilers or if you care about these kind of vignettes)

They briefly introduced Jamil's mob roommate, and of course we don't get to know a lot about him (he's a mob after all), but I thought it was funny that his main contribution to the vignette was sleeping through every noise Jamil makes (like drying his hair or when his alarm clock goes off). I like to think that he is the one mob student who just isn't interested in Jamil in the slightest. It's not that he doesn't think he is pretty, it's just that it does nothing for him. Jamil, you need to treasure him!

Ouch, Anon! But also, fair! There is nothing to like about that latest artwork! If anything, it’s offensive! 😤 (thank you so much <333 and also thank you for this existential dread; why even live indeed…)

I KEEP FORGETTING THAT THE MAJORITY OF THESE BOYS HAVE ROOMMATES OMG Jamil and his mob roommie!! 🥹 lol it really would be funny if he was that one (1) Scarabia student who doesn’t have the hots for Jamil. Poor Jamil really needs to have one person around him that doesn’t look at him like a hungry animal. And finding this one guy took so much luck from Jamil that he remained luckless for the rest of his life 😔 rip

But also maybe this guy is just very good at pining quietly…

Anonymous asked:

re: jack x epel, i can see epel hooking up with people (slut smh) and not wanting any strings attached, and although i think jack wouldn’t be into hooking up…sometimes deuce isn’t around when he’s unbearably horny and he does share a class with epel, who’s more than happy to help a hot buff wolf man…and sometimes deuce will hang around ace and it makes jack jealous so he recruits epel to make deuce jealous >:3

the drama!

Oh god, the first years just keep fucking each other to make each other jealous!! 😭 This is why romance is forbidden in this kind of schools, because otherwise this shit happens! (fun fact: I have a little comic about Ace recruiting Epel to make Deuce jealous, but for now it’s only been posted on ko-fi) In all seriousness, these boys really are horny and petty enough for all kinds of drama to happen.

Epel would also probably be very into the fact that he is being this cool and mature… he would expect to be more experienced by Jack but 😔

Anonymous asked:

So which of the twst cast would flirt with someone else to get someone jealous? Also who would do it for funsies, to get back at them as petty revenge or some other petty reason?

APPARENTLY THE ENTIRETY OF THE FIRST YEAR! Shame on them! Shame on these boys! Sebek is the only normal one! 😡

In reality though, I can see Ace doing it; Deuce wouldn’t do it intentionally, he just ends up in these situations that make Ace jealous. Epel would absolutely try to do it though. Ortho might too, actually, but he would just tease a little bit…

Azul would be petty enough to do it but he isn’t super liked by others, so there probably won’t be much flirting happening lol Idia might tease Azul like that though, but it would backfire horribly somehow. I wouldn’t call it “flirting” though because Idia isn’t much of a flirt, but complimenting someone for being good at board-games is enough to get Azul mad.

Jade would do it in a very obvious way, almost too crudely for how sneaky and manipulative he usually is. But that’s absolutely intentional.

Jamil probably would, but not with Kalim – he knows that this kind of thing wouldn’t really work with him, and they don’t have this kind of relationship… pissing Azul off would be funny to him though because his reactions are very obvious.

Vil might do it a little bit; I keep thinking about that one jp RookVil comic about Vil surrounding himself with the Savanaclaw mobs during Beanfest and thinking  “it wouldn’t hurt for you to get jealous every once in a while”. Not something he usually goes for, but if he is feeling a little bit petty (i.e. after the VDC)? Easily.

Rook and Lilia both do it a lot but it’s never their intention to make someone else jealous lol

Malleus would be petty enough to do something like that though. As someone who often feels left out and neglected, he would be overjoyed to see someone getting jealous of him and upset with him flirting with someone else. He made Lilia jealous a couple of times, and it’s always such a big win for him that he can’t stop grinning very smugly…

Anonymous asked:

So apparently there is a mushroom called caterpillar mushroom which works similarly to viagra....

Jade likes mushrooms

Take what you want from this ask..... 😈

Anon, the mushroom itself is both fascinating and disturbing at the same time. Jade would be enamoured by it; both by how difficult it is to grow it and how powerful it is. He absolutely will start growing some. Why do you have caterpillars in your room, Jade? No reason. What is it that grows on their little silly heads? Just a little project…

He will definitely take his time deciding what would be the best use for it, but since he has to check if it works or not anyway, he would need a guinea pig. I guess it means Silver is getting another risotto 🤤

m1lk-n-cook1es asked:

A little prompt I had after reading the  Sleeping Beauty alternate story "Once Upon a Nightmare" that I found on AO3

"Silver fell to a sleeping spell that lasts for nine months. During this time, Lilia nonconed Silver roughly, and Silver ended up pregnant. And after Lilia found out he was pregnant, he began banging Silver in his sleep. One day, during the last day of the spell, Silver woke up in pain (both from contractions and Lilia banging him). Lilia banged Silver as he gave birth to twins. Lilia was disappointed he woke up, but happy that he had kids and planned to play with Silver more"

What a lovely family these two are 🥹

Really makes you think about how fucked up the original fairy tale actually is. It really is the somnophilia story, and Silver is the absolute star of it! Thanks Lilia for being this horrible.

While the topic of pregnancy and giving birth isn’t something that I like, the dark fucked up vibe of this prompt makes it kind of fun…

Anonymous asked:

This but with Lilia: https://youtu.be/AD95PSX7ntE?si=DRQmAWJBuonRvATT

Oh my GOD this is literally Lilia NOOOO

With his silly dance and his historically accurate Exes!

(in all seriousness, I am stunned by the production quality and editing of this video lol very impressive!!)

[thygoddessouijathicc]

Old Man Yaoi May Not Be So Old

So there’s a segment in the DSaF fandom that beleive Dave and Jack are visibly old men. I’m fine with it, I used to, and in fact love the designs especially because there’s seems to be an almost taboo of drawing old people to a point and it’s homely really great that people here are doing it, but I don’t think that’s actually true canonically like I used to. I must stress though DRAW THEM HOW YOU LIKE. They can be old or not it doesn’t concern me.

Both of them are corpses. In terms of age, yes, they are quite old, but corpses don’t tend to age. And we see this in DSAF with the Phones not aging visibly, perhaps it’s just that it’s stock photos but Harry, despite being Gen 1, is physically not old. Why? Because Harry isn’t alive. None of the phones are. The phones are just well preserved and act like living creatures.

You know what else isn’t alive but acts like it? Dave and Jack. While they’d be in terms of numbers, old, in DSAF 3, given their ages at which they died it’s unlikely they’d physically get any older. And don’t say some kinda magic thing because we know for a fact that both behave like corpses, especially Jack. Jack paints himself orange to look alive (a weird colour choice but I digress), he does this because his body is rotting, likely turning black or purple (this also means any cursed colour swap between the two, the Jack side may just not have put on his makeup yet lol). Jack is rotting, definitely not alive body behaviours. Dave also does not behave like a living person. How many of those do you know that can do what he does. There seems to be a consensus that Davetrap is rotting but Dave is too nothing happened to Davetrap to kickstart the process that would mean Dave could not have before, it’s likely the pests just got in because he was stationary and likely far slower.

Let’s also talk about their behaviour. It’s not great to go off of but Jack doesn’t act like a mature adult and neither does Dave, they act like they’re rather young adults still figuring themselves out. Jack especially is quite childish, as if he never got a chance to mature. You could bring up Dee, but Dee’s situation is far different. It doesn’t seem like Dee has actually mentally matured so much as she has been put in a position in which she has no choice but to take on a more mature role and tries to fit that, she has no reason to mentally age, and none of the other children have meaning if she actually got older there would have to be more to it. Dee is as old as she always was, any maturity added is not due to age but due to her situation. Dave and Jack are immature people, and with this in mind it paints a somewhat grim picture of the fact that they never got to mature.

One could mention the ending in which Jack dies of old age… but the phones also have beards here and Jack is actually established to be semi immortal so dying of old age just doesn’t make sense, he can die, but it seems like he gets back up. So let’s be real the beards are fake, and Jack probably ate something weird, and will be fine in like 12 minutes. The game probably ends when you die because it would be weird if it didn’t even if you do get back up.

The only time I’d say Jack permanently dies is when he’s burned. Which leaves no body behind, which by the same principle as the others, means there’s nothing left to come back which sucks for him because oops no soul either.

Jack can also get rabies but… this also doesn’t feel like a sign he is alive.

Dave actively does rot in the game as Davetrap, Jack rots constantly, it’s safe to say their bodies do not work like human ones especially considering not having organs is not something that kills Dave. At least not that we know.

With all of this in mind, yeah. They are corpses. And as I’ve said before, corpses do not age in DSAF physically or mentally, even Blackjack is incredibly immature if you actually look at his behaviour. He’s also an asshole who never gets character development but that’s a story for another time.

It actually makes more sense if they don’t age given the very little change in their behaviour or character between games even after a massive Timeskip nothing seems to have changed at all which makes sense logically too, because why would Fredbear give Jack the ability to age? Let’s be real here if Jack can age eventually that will become a problem given that he is immortal seemingly as long as he has a body to return to. There’s no reason to give him the ability to age and plenty of reasons not to.

Now that’s not to say their bodies don’t change, they do. And if you realistically want to draw DSAF 3 Jack in his most canon possible form… which I doubt many do… Jack doesn’t age he rots he’s probably just a lot worse for wear if he hasn’t found a way to stop rotting yet. Him being an old man is unlikely, but a very decomposed zombie? More likely than you’d think.

And before anyone brings up the tapes, Dave may just look like that, pretty much every piece of art in that game is by a different person who is not Doggo, while Dave seems to be a bit older Jack does not. The tapes are in the past if we are saying that is Dave’s age in DSAF 3, sorry no.

DSAF 3 has incredibly inconsistent art to a point I’d say fans can largely disregard it but that’s an essay for another time just know art in that game isn’t as canon as people seem to think it is. At least not by my observation.

Dave and Jack are old men in age, but not in body. No in body they are most likely the age they died at which seems to have been pretty young for both of them like we know Jack was in his early 20s and Dave is a few years older but also died at the very least a few months before Jack. They aren’t old men, at least not canonically.

I must stress I mean they probably are not canonically old because honestly the DSaF fandom needs to take a chill pill and stop being angry at people for making their own designs, literally do what you want as long as it’s not illegal or like super fucked up. Don’t make Jack 12 and Dave 60 and ship that, but if you want to draw them old be my guest. This essay was just my observation of the idea that the fandom calls them old men and people seem to think they are canonically but it just seems unlikely.

[thequietkid-moonie]

omg i love your headcanons so much??

Also congrats on 100 followers!

could i request headcanons for poseidon, hades, thor and jack with an s/o who acts really stoic and always has a blank face but on the inside they act like a giant fangirl and fawns over everything they do even if its just as simple as drinking something

Stoic S/O is their biggest fan

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Hades, Thor, Jack ]

[ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]

Im so happy that you like my writing so much dear!! Thank you so much!! ❤️

So, we are Nightfall now huh? Haha I like it, its so funny to think!! sempai suki

I don't write for Poseidon but I gladly write for the others, I hope you like it!

Hades

Hades doesn't mind at all your stoic personality, he loves you just the way you are, besides your personality seems to match really well with his own (well, thats what others says) since he is mature and most of the time serious, you two usually are look up at as a couple, saying that you truly are the image of kings. But it isn't like Hades care about appearances, he just care about you and your happiness

However it could be the case that someone doesn't really likes you, maybe becouse they think you don't deserve him if you aren't going to apreciate him, but is better that Hades doesn't get to know that someone actually think this or else he will get really mad, he isn't someone who recurre to violence but he name alone intimidates people, so, even that he just scold that person for thinking such things (even if you don't mind) that person will never dare to say something like that again

He is recognized and admired by all the gods, but the way you admire him is new, is completely different from the others, yours is more discreet and almost unnoticible, people could bet that you don't think much of him, but he is observant and really intelligent of course he will notice it, maybe not inmediatly but he does

He has never doubt that you love him, but the intensity of you love for him actually flattered him. He could be admired and loved by all the gods, but, since you are so special for him (his special someone, his beloved partner) is the fact that you love him so much what make him feel special

He isn't someone who show off but is like he do it without even trying, and he doesn't mind having you around while is doing his usual work, he even invite you over whenever he go to do it or have to go somewhere else

Also, from time to time Hades have really romantic gestures with you, giving you a gift (mainly flowers), compliments or expresing his love for you in a rather poetic way, and every time he does it he notice those little hints of how you really love him, how your eyes widen a little, your cheeks get just a little more pink and a smile threatening to appear

Although, he is not egocentric so he probably will never know the whole extent of your feelings for him, how with every gestures he have towards you you feel like you can explode, or how just by seeing him work you melt in your spot, not even how you will do (willingly and happyly) anything for him

Thor

There is not doubt why you two are together, you two are the same, always with a blank face and barely expresing something, but at the same time is a mistery how you two end together for this. But others opinion doesn't matter to the both of you, the only thing that matter is the inmense love you two have for each other

He doesn't mind your stoic personality at all, if you don't like expresing much or strugle with it is fine you don't have to force yourself to do it, and he doesn't have problem with telling you this, remembering you all the times you need how much he loves you just the way you are

Thor himself have some troubles when it comes to expresing his feelings, and sometimes he wonders if you love him or if you just get bored of him (he doesn't doubt you though), so he probably ended up asking you right away (thanks to this you will have a lot of communication between the two of you)

He probably won't notice the inmense love and admiration you have for him, he knows you love him yes, but he doesn't know at what extent that loves is. Is more probably that it will be others gods who actually notice it, and even so they will just think that they are just imagining things since you didn't seem to be that type

When he get to know this (maybe someone told him or he just start noticing it, or maybe even it was you who tell him) he will take some time to think about it, again is becouse you doesn't seem the type to get so intense for someone, he will have a hard time to actually accept this (however that won't change anything, not the way he sees you and neither your relationship)

He isn't someone who show off and still that doesn't stop you from looking at him like he is the most amazing person in the whole universe, and with time he will start noticing the way you look at him and everytime he catch you staring at him he laugh softly and pet your head gently or hug you, sometimes he even gives you a soft kiss in the head. You make him feel like he actually is that special

If you like to be by his side all the time and even follow him around he won't mind it too much, he loves spending time with you too, he was used to feel apathy for not having an opponent but you bring happines to his days, he adores you so much that he just cannot say no to you

Jack the Ripper

The contrast you two have is really big and obvious, he is a gentelman, poetic and eloquent while you are stoic and barely express something if isn't need it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you, even if you don't express it he know you love him, and he loves you with the same intensity (well, maybe not the same but can be compared)

It wasn't difficult for him to notice your feelings for him, even if you don't express much he can see your true colors and he see nothing but love, happines and admiration, and this makes him feel really loved and he likes this feeling

The first time he notice the intensity of your feelings towards him he didn't know how to react, he have seen people with bright colors but not with this intensity (probably just his mother, or Heracles), but with time he get used to always seeing you with this colors when you two are together, and this never fails to make him smile (either a soft smile or, sometimes, laugh)

He notice that you sometimes change between an undying love to the biggest admiration and that makes him really curious, he could pass hours just watching you to find out what exactly makes you feel what, what do you express when he hugs you? what do you express when he says that he loves you? what do you express when you two have some tea together? what do you express when he is reading to you? He wants to know

More than once he had catch you staring at him or how you inmediatly getting cover in bright colors by just the mention of his name or by hearing his voice and that truly amused him, it makes him feel so loved and even like he is someone really special, you never fail to make him smile and even laugh

When he feels pretty flirty he will show of his skills and elegancy a little just to make you flustered (you may no express it in your face but he still can notice it). Besides, Jack is pretty romantic and cheesy so it isn't weird for him to give you flowers or little gifts from time to time

Also, he doesn't mind at all your stoic personality, he fell in love with you just the way you are, so you don't have to try to be something you aren't just for others. Although, If someone say something bad about you for it he won't tolerate it, even if you don't mind he do, and will take care of the problem later

[lastlymatt]

Yeah tv!Alex is so different and honestly I think in a good way!

Book!Alex was always like, 'ugh I hate working for MI6, why do they keep dragging me in, I just want a normal life, I don't care that much about a random person in danger'.

Tv!Alex is like 'I don't care about skipping school to go save the world because I care that people are going to get hurt and the department is doing jack shit so I feel a responsibility to do the right thing'.

It's very different and I think TV!Alex has a lot more compassion and care in him and wants to help others and would sacrifice himself for the greater good. He is his father's son, and I think it makes a lot of sense that way, and I like how morally strong he is in the show, and a lot more mature.

Not that I dislike book!Alex, of course I love him, but he's definitely more of a 'kid', which while accurate to his age, I do like watching a more adult and mature Alex. (tbf though I haven't read the new books yet so idk if his characterization has changed)

I hope we do get a post-uni show with the same crew and we get to see Adult!Alex working for the department.

While you're absolutely right about how book!Alex is more of a 'kid' and very reluctant to go on whatever mission of the week, TV!Alex feels far more naive and innocent than his book counterpart despite being older.

Because book!Alex does come through when the threat is real. He wants to protect people and the world, just not when he's being blackmailed into it. He cares enough that he willingly puts himself in danger for a boy he barely knows in Ark Angel without anyone prompting him to.

A lot of the time, he saves people or goes after villains because he knows that MI6 is useless. They demonstrated that over and over again to him while TV!Alex hunts them down to get them to do something before being smacked in the face with the reality of the Department.

I will say he is absolutely more stubborn about going back to school and staying 'normal' than TV!Alex, but again, that is because MI6 keeps pulling him back.

TV!Alex gets blackmailed by Blunt once. A car doesn't show up in front of his house or school every other week, so he can be shipped all over the world to almost die for some goal he barely comprehends. He isn't forced into dangerous fabricated situations where he has to turn to MI6 for help in exchange for doing their dirty work.

TV!Alex instead goes through one harrowing experience and is then told to forget it ever happened. He isn't beaten down and almost murdered every other Tuesday, so of course, he has a stronger hold on his morals but he isn't the mature one here.

In fact, he seems incredibly naive when he thinks he can waltz into a criminal organisation, get his revenge on the Department, and go back home as if nothing happened.

Book!Alex tells Scorpia up front that he could never be a killer, but he still participates in all the lessons like he's told to and seems to have a better understanding of his situation despite not having both Nile and Yassen laying it out clearly for him.

I think book!Alex is also far more willing to join up with Scorpia because of how awful MI6 is to him compared to TV!Alex's Department. He also goes into his first conversation with Rothman, just wanting to know more about his father. Of course, the fourteen-year-old idiot would go with the people who are "honest" with him and treat him with more respect (and I say this as someone who cannot read anything where Alex stays with Scorpia)

TV!Alex goes in with the idea that he can somehow destroy Scorpia, but he gets manipulated from the moment he contacts them. He runs on the grief and need for revenge that Scorpia injects him with almost the entire time he's there.

They're both their fathers' sons, but their arcs are very different. One is very drawn out, and the other is cut short with a happy ending.

(This is very personal speculation, but I think that if the TV series had continued and Alex's family had been "killed" just like Jack in Scorpia Rising, then Alex would've also absolutely shot someone)

So yeah... very different characters with different arcs. The comparison gets a bit murkier because of the different mediums, but I hope I got my point across.

I'm very curious what they would do with an adult!Alex because they'd have to come up with completely new material for that, and it would remove one of the main aspects of Alex Rider that I enjoy, namely that he's a kid who shouldn't be there.

Personally, I just want an adaptation of Russian Roulette.

[a-dream-bookmark]

a dream bookmark presents: SEP 2023

angst (noun)

a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.

Welcome to An Angst Bookmark, our September 2023 recommendations list with a theme around angst fics. From the start of the month, we have compiled a list of fics the community has given and prepared to give to you. We would like to provide our biggest appreciation to the people contributing to the making of this list. Thank you so much and we will announce the theme for October 2023 soon!

Do you want to know more about us? Check this out!

The list is below the cut!

MEMBER'S RECS

ATEEZ

|| arrow in the dark series by @tenelkadjowrites | requested by @writingmochi

This fic has dark/mature themes

Pairing: seonghwa x reader

Genre: wealthy seonghwa. fem pronouns for reader. fake dating trope. depictions of emotionally manipulative parents

Synopsis: Your quiet life of working at a convenience store is upended when ultra wealthy Seonghwa convinces you to pretend to be his girlfriend for one night in order to fool his parents.

What they said about the fic: this is not even considered as an angst fic but the way it captured it so well, especially the dynamics between each characters and how in each significant scene there is always another layer to be peeled before that ending. i swear to god that ending!!!

TXT

|| Mune ga hachikire-sōde by @it-rains-blue | requested by @writingmochi

Pairing: soobin x reader

Genre: event drabble, fluff, sickening angst, humour

What they said about the fic: i gotta have to mentioned this one cause it's based on one of my fav songs of all time! bro, even thinking of it just… ughhhhhhh

ENHYPEN

|| your dog loves you by @orochxi | requested by @writingmochi

Pairing: Yang Jungwon x fem!reader

Genre: Coming-of-age, hurt/comfort, melancholia, human drama

Synopsis: Jungwon goes on an arduous hike on top of a mountainous terrain by his university every morning, gently tugging the leash of an old, dumb Borzoi that he calls his. If he were to recall the past nineteen years of his life, then nothing has drastically changed between the path that he and Berlioz walked together and the hallmarks of his youth. Perhaps, as he celebrated his last walk with Berlioz as a teenager, things might be slightly different when he wakes up tomorrow.

What they said about the fic: oh god… i still remember how hard i cry to this one. gosh, even the concept of male grief is so rarely been done. and even relating this to human-pet relationship… this is just so… this fic is making me think of so many profound things even with a mundane subject...

COMMUNITY'S RECS

THE BOYZ

|| beast in a beauty series by @winterchimez | requested by Anonymous

This fic has dark/mature themes

Pairing: profiler Hyunjae x detective f!reader 

Genre: jack the ripper au, angst, violence, thriller, crime

Synopsis: Set in the year 1911 in the streets of Whitechapel, London, a place infamous for its notorious Jack The Ripper murders that haunted the nation for the past decades. Except for the fact that the killer after seemingly disappearing for a while at least, decides to strike again. It is up to you as a rookie detective, the handsome yet charming profiler Lee Hyunjae, and your group of friends to finally put the killer behind bars once and for all.

|| read your mind by @winterchimez | requested by Anonymous

This fic has dark/mature themes

Pairing: fwb Hyunjae x f!reader 

Genre: angst, suggestive

Synopsis: both you and Hyunjae had a mutual agreement to begin this whole friends-with-benefits relationship from the start, but now his contradicting actions and behaviour make you question what you both truly are at this point

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[ourloveisforthelovely]

To the Ends of the Earth Part 20

Supernatural

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

Rating: Mature

Summary:  AU Supernatural. Gabriel is tired of Micahel and Raphael’s constant interfering and dictating what’s best for him. Little do they know that he’s been sneaking to earth to fall in love with you. When he convinces you to run away with him, all hell is about to break loose.

Part 19- link

______

Neither Gabriel nor yourself said a word to each other the whole way back to the bunker. When Gabriel turned the car off, he looked at you sympathetically. Your eyes weren’t on him but at the car’s dashboard. He wanted to sight but didn’t. Gabriel wasn’t a fool. You were upset with him and honestly, he couldn’t blame you.

It didn’t take Gabriel being your soulmate to understand your feelings, yet also, be confused by them. You wanted him to be happy about the baby. What expectant mother wouldn’t want the child’s father to be happy? Gabriel understood that, but YOU didn’t understand that he couldn’t. He couldn’t be excited about some extraordinary being in the making that could destroy everything.

There is Jack…he’s good.

The thought came to Gabriel’s mind but he had to push it away too. Jack had to be that one exception. Gabriel wasn’t quite sure that his child would be “that good.”

There was also your safety. Regardless of the fact that Chuck swore to your safety, Gabriel was absolutely and positively terrified! He couldn’t even begin to phantom losing you. No part of his inner being could even think about how his life would be if something happened to you. If Gabriel lost you, he would want to die along with you. Forget raising a child that would scare the crap out of him!

You, meanwhile, hadn’t moved from your spot in the passenger seat by the time Gabriel opened your door for you. For a moment, you didn’t want to move. Sitting in the car and staring at the grey dashboard seemed to be exactly what you needed.

“Y/n…”

Gabriel said your name softly. He held out his hand to help you out of the SUV. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. After the conversation a few minutes prior, you couldn’t meet your lover’s gaze.

Am I being selfish? Did I even think of him?

These were a few of the thoughts going through your mind that you couldn’t push away. There were also the thoughts of what you “needed” too.

It will be a long nine months if he is going to bitch the whole time. I am going to need some support too…not constant condescending looks and comments…

Swallowing, you got out of the car without taking Gabriel’s hand. You heard Gabriel audibly groan as you walked past him to the entrance to the bunker.

“Y/n, you are going to have to talk to me at some point.”

You stopped and took a few deep breaths before turning to face Gabriel.

“Look, I get you were shocked by all of this. I was shocked too! Floored is more like it but it’s happening Gabriel. We had sex and you got me pregnant. Neither one of us was really planning it but it happened. I don’t know why Chuck does what he does but he paired us for a reason. I’m not giving this baby up nor am I going to regret what happened…because I don’t. You know…I’m feeling a lot of things none of which you seem to understand…hell even I don’t understand all of what I’m feeling. I’m not asking you to be over the moon with what's happening because you were entitled to your feelings too but what I want is some support. You’re supposed to be my soul mate and be on my side.”

Gabriel winced seeing the tears in your eyes. He absolutely hated knowing that he was the one making you cry.

“Y/n, I am on your side. I’m always on your side.”

You wiped your cheeks.

“It doesn’t feel like it. If I am going to spend the next nine months wondering what I am to you while you glare at me…I would rather you just go. You can find someone else to fall in love with.”

Gabriel looked floored by your comment. Did you really think that he would consider leaving? That was the LAST thing that Gabriel could even consider doing. If he left you then you would die. Your blood would be on his hands and he would never be able to live with that.

“I don’t want anyone else to love. I fell in love with you and that is all that I need…”

You turned to walk inside.

“I need some time alone.”

You murmured. Gabriel didn’t move to follow you.

“That’s probably a good idea. I’ll be back later I need to have some time to too.”

When you turned back around, Gabriel was gone. It was as if he had never been standing behind you in the first place.

Why did I say that to him?

You grumbled before turning and walking back into the bunker. Feeling 100% worse than you did before, the prospect of falling into your bed and never moving again seemed like a great idea.

Sam looked up when you came down the steps. He immediately stood up and looked at you with a worried expression.

“Where is Gabriel?”

You couldn’t meet your brother’s gaze for a moment. Looking around the room, you wondered where Dean had made off too. Something told you that you would be having to face his fury very soon too. You definitely needed a heads up on when that would happen. With Gabriel not being there to come in on your behalf, you would have to try to reason with Dean on why going through with the pregnancy was the best option. Something told you that saying “this is what I want” wouldn’t fly with your eldest brother.

“He took off. We had some words and we both need some space. Where’s Dean?”

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. It didn’t take him being your brother to realize how upset you were. Your eyes were like a window to your soul…a window that Sam had to use more than he was really willing to admit to.

“He went on a beer run.”

You nodded. That didn’t surprise you. It also wouldn’t surprise you that you would take up to Dean tearing the place apart in a drunken rage.

“I’m not surprised.”

You replied as Sam pressed his lips together.

“Are you okay, Y/n?”

Your eyes rolled up to your brother. Sam was looking at you with eyes full of concern.

“Did you know that you are the first person in all of this that has asked me that?”

Sam frowned. He mentally made a note to tell Dean and Gabriel both off later. While he understood both men’s reactions, neither really behaved the way that they needed to. Sure, Sam was horrified by the road that you were choosing to take…however, it was your choice. He couldn’t make you elect to have Gabriel take the baby away. Sam couldn’t make you do anything. You were a grown woman and what you chose would be what he would accept. Sam could only pray that Chuck lived up to his end of the bargain and wouldn’t let you die.

“I’m sorry. I can’t make excuses for Dean or Gabriel but you should have been asked about your feelings before. Y/n, I’m not going to pretend that I’m not worried because I’m scared to death. I don’t want to lose you but I respect your decision. I’ll do whatever I can to keep you safe.”

Sam walked over and immediately pulled you into a hug. You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around your brother. Breathing Sam in, for the first time, you felt somewhat better. Someone was in your corner.

“I wish that Dean and Gabriel could see things that way.”

Sam kissed the top of your head. He made a mental note to let both men have it when they came home.

“I know. Me too. Maybe when the shock wears off, they’ll come to their senses. They both love you so much, Y/n.”

You wanted to nod in agreement but you couldn’t respond. Your better sense of self knew that Sam was right. Both Gabriel and Dean loved you. The less sensible “Mary Sue” side was still in depression over their reactions.

“I hope so. I’m going to go lie down and watch TV.”

Sam slowly let you go. He wanted to talk more but decided now wasn’t the time.

(meanwhile)

Gabriel sat across from Lucifer at a crappy little diner across town. He wasn’t 100% sure why he came to Lucifer but he did. Gabriel sat telling Lucifer everything while his elder brother frowned.

“So you are telling me that pop decided that Ms. Pretty and yourself are having a baby?”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“That’s what I said.”

Lucifer was silent a moment as he considered his words. It was no secret to Lucifer about what Chuck’s plans were when it came to you. Lucifer was baffled when Chuck made the grand scheme to pair his younger brother with a human. As far as Lucifer was concerned, Gabriel was a good enough soldier. Throwing him into the thoroughs of love with a human woman seemed to be a bit of a downgrade.

“I’m sorry. I just needed to make sure that I heard you right and wasn’t imagining things. Wow, you're the one to knock up Ms. Pretty.”

Gabriel frowned, reminding Lucifer of the archangel that Gabriel used to be.

“Would you stop calling her that? Who else would it be? I’m her soulmate after all.”

Lucifer snorted.

“You sound so ancient right now. I don’t pretend to know why pop is doing this. I no longer try to make sense of that. How is Y/n taking it? You are acting as if the world is about to end…or whatever else it is you get upset about. You’ve always had a bit of a temper.”

“Oh, I have a temper do I? Aren’t you Satan?”

Gabriel snapped. Lucifer shook his head before holding a hand up.

“This isn’t about me. This is about you! You are having a baby with a human. Not only is that not good but you are about to have both of our dork brothers on your ass.”

“You have a child too who coincidentally my wife looks after so you are in the wrong as much as me.”

Lucifer laughed at that one.

“As you said, little brother, I am Satan.”

Neither archangel said anything for a moment. Gabriel sat wondering why in the fresh hell he even bothered with Lucifer. All that it seemed to be achieving was upsetting him worse with each passing moment.

“Look, Gabe, you are overreacting. If you want Ms. Pretty…I mean…Y/n to survive…there are ways. Use that grace that pop gave you. You’re her soul mate…keep her safe.”

“You didn’t keep Jack’s mother safe.”

Gabriel replied, earning a scowl from Lucifer.

“We weren’t on good terms. Again, this isn’t about me. What are you going to do about Michael and Raphael? I mean, Raphael is heaven’s glorified gardener. You could leave some plants out and totally distract him. Michael, however, well that won’t be pretty. He is still feeling biblical over Jack.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. It was clear that Lucifer had no idea about Raphael being dead.

“Raphael is dead, so I don’t have to worry about him. As far as Michael, he is the one that I am worried about. That’s why I am here talking to you. I’m sure I can keep my wife safe but two archangels would be better than one. We were close once upon a time. You leaving heaven devastated me whether you care about that fact or not.”

Lucifer leaned back in his chair. He wasn’t a fool. When he left heaven and the few times that Gabriel visited him on earth, he could see right through his younger brother’s “tough guy” façade.

“Let me get this straight, you want me to help you? You are coming to me for help with your problems? Wow, that hasn’t happened in millions of years and I am flattered. However, what does Y/n say about all of this? She really isn’t a pro-Luci person.”

“She doesn’t know.”

Lucifer once again looked surprised.

“You are going to have a hell of a time explaining that one to her. Gabriel, you were always my favorite. You always were and you always will be. I’m willing to help you but I’ll warn you…those Winchesters won’t be happy about it.”

Gabriel took a breath. He was no fool. Gabriel knew that you wouldn’t be happy at all. You hadn’t really forgotten how Lucifer had done your family.

“No, they won’t be but we need all of the help that we can get.”

Lucifer had to agree with that one. While he had no idea what “child rearing” involved (and he really didn’t want to find out), Lucifer knew that Gabriel was in over his head on this one.

“So what happened to Raphael?”

Gabriel chuckled at that one.

“Y/n killed him. Maybe that can be an incentive to not tick her off too much.”

Lucifer blinked a few times.

“I knew that girl had style.”

(a few hours later)

You lay sleeping on the couch. After starting a movie, you quickly fell asleep. All of the drama of the day had finally caught up with you. Your peaceful slumber, however, was interrupted when you felt a pair of arms lift you up.

“What?”

You said sleepily before slowly opening your eyes. Gabriel was carrying you bridal style toward your bedroom.

“It's alright, sugar.”

You snuggled your face against Gabriel’s collarbone and breathed in his scent. For the first time in that horrid day, you felt somewhat better.

Gabriel closed the door with his foot before gently lying you down on the unmade bed. You shoved your face into the pillow until Gabriel snapped the lights out. From his place by the door, he could see the sad expression on your face.

…She is still hurt.

Gabriel rolled his eyes at the rather stupid comment going through his mind. Of course, you were still hurt.

Taking a moment longer, Gabriel slowly got into bed with you.

“Come here, sugar.”

You didn’t hesitate to crawl over into Gabriel’s arms. As much as you wanted to be able to play hard to get, you also wanted to snuggle into your soulmate and never move again. The moment that you were against Gabriel he wrapped his arms around you.

Neither of you spoke a moment. It was Gabriel that spoke first.

“Sugar, about all of this…we really need to talk.”

You sniffed again. Gabriel froze. He once again was afraid that you were about to start crying.

“Y/n, I knew from the moment that I saw you that I loved you more than any being known to angel kind. I know you are angry with me and I don’t blame you. I, however, don’t think that you truly understand how afraid I am.”

Your eyes slowly rolled up to Gabriel.

“You aren’t scared of anything…except spiders.”

Gabriel frowned.

“You did not see the size of that spider! Contrary to your, much-appreciated belief, a lot of things scare me. You scare me. The thought of losing you and me being alone to raise our baby scares me. Y/n, I can’t stop thinking about what if I lose you. I spent millions of years waiting for you and so many more looking after you until we actually met. I don’t want to face the thought of the rest of forever alone.”

You stroked your finger over Gabriel’s chest before throwing a leg over his waist.

“I’m not going to die. We’ll figure this out…somehow. There has to be a spell or something. Cas has this theory about using your grace to get me through labor. We have time to figure something out. As far as Michael is concerned…”

Gabriel took a breath before speaking.

“Michael is the least of my worries right now. Can we not talk about him right? I’m worried about us. Y/n, I’m not mad that you’re pregnant. I suppose something told me that you would end up pregnant at some point anyway. No matter how careful I am there was always the possibility that it could happen.”

You smiled.

“Because once you get inside of me you turn into a needy manwhore?”

You were relieved to hear Gabriel chuckle.

“That is one way of looking at it.”

Gabriel placed his hand over your stomach before moving his fingers over your hipbones. He closed his eyes as the sound of the baby’s heart beating filled his mind. Gabriel took a few deep breaths as a new feeling washed over him. So this was what the paternal protective parent felt like.

I have to be feeling like a father to be willing to go to my brother for help.

Gabriel thought with a frown. He was quickly pulled from his thoughts when your lips closed on his neck.

“What are you doing, sugar?”

You quickly wiggled your way on top of Gabriel, looking down at him with a smirk.

“We should probably enjoy my body looking the way it does now…something tells me that I will look like hell before long.”

Gabriel snapped his fingers turning the lights back on. He was looking at you with a frown.

“You’ll be just as beautiful as you are now. You’re always my beautiful wife.”

“You say that now.”

You replied. Gabriel was quiet a moment before quickly flipping the position so he was on top of you. You gasped as Gabriel’s hands fell to cup your breasts.

“Gabriel, please…”

You whimpered as he rocked his hips against yours. Golden eyes rolled to yours as Gabriel leaned down to lick your bottom lip.

“I’m going to make you feel good. You thought that the sex was good that night in the car. I’m really going to make you come apart now.”

You moaned before reaching between your bodies to palm Gabriel through his jeans. When he groaned, you smiled.

“Let's have at least one good memory from today.”

Gabriel gave you a small smirk before snapping away your clothes. He looked down at your naked form before biting his lips. You looked like a total goddess lying beneath him.

You cried out when Gabriel leaned down to lick and suck at your right nipple while his fingers expertly teased your left. Make-up sex with Gabriel often made your disagreements worth it. From the time that the both of you decided to be together, Gabriel seemed to be perfect at makeup sex. He was perfect at sex in general and it often wowed you. You had been a bit embarrassed to still be a virgin the first time that Gabriel touched you.

“Now sugar, that’s what I love the most. My dick has been the only one inside of you.”

Gabriel said with a cocky smirk as he kissed his way down your body. You bit your lip as heat ran through your belly. With each movement of Gabriel’s lips, the want radiated through your body making your cunt ache with need.

“Something tells me that you are already wet.”

Gabriel said with an innocent hum.

“Yes…so wet…Gabriel, please. I need you inside of me.”

Gabriel chuckled to himself and moved no further to have his way with you. He watched your body withering to meet his mouth. When Gabriel stroked a finger over your folds down to your entrance, you could have come from that alone.

“So I heard that pregnancy hormones make you want sex a lot more.”

Gabriel commented as his golden eyes rolled up to your face. He was pleased to see how surprised you were by that statement. Swallowing, you tried to think logically.

“I’m surprised at you, Gabriel. You are already hearing things correctly.”

Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows at you.

“It's amazing what archangels hear and what information we hold onto. I suppose we will be seeing a lot of this room.”

“Or whatever flat surface I want you to fuck me on.”

You interrupted. Gabriel smirked.

“Anytime that you want it, sugar.”

_______

@amelie-black @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @justfinishthis @acciosiriusblack @siriuslyceleste @coffeeaddictednymph @millies0bsimp @fific7 @rogue-nyx88 @readtomeregulus @starsvck @daddyslittlevillain @panpride @saramaple @f4iryluvy @s-we-e-t-t-ea @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @missgorldafirst @buttercup-beeee @padf00ts-l0ver @goldensunshineshit @haroldpotterson @aurorasnape12 @stelleduarte @mentally-unstable-hoe @quinis @jag9000 @gugggu6gvai @yousmellllikecaca @lostarc @un-lovesherself @play-morezeppelin @ravenhood2792 @bennyberry @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @rubyroscoe1 @ad-astra-again @criminalyetminimal @lucasfilms77 @spideyxalmighty @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @knight-of-gleefulness @deanwherescas @shitfaceddaniel-blog @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @li0nh34rt @tas898 @mycuddlycorner @marichromatic @melaninnbarbie

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Grim Tales From Down Below Theory: Destructicus Is Grim Junior's Father

[Note: This Theory is for Mature Audience Only, also reading this theory is optional. and most of the theories in this would be Fanon. also at some point this will also talk about Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. like if they end up being ended in the Fanon Timeline of Grim Tales From Down Below. even if it wouldn't be Canon, it works for Fanon and could be interesting in the comic if it did happen, but the likely of it happening in the future chapters of the comic might be 99 to 100, I don't know. ]

I think Destructicus Con Carne is Grim Jr.'s Biological Father, meaning that Major Doctor Ghastly & Hector Con Carne are Grim Jr.'s Paternal Grandparents.

Evil Con Carne and The Grim Adventure Of Billy & Mandy, are in the same universe even if they have two different shows. and if Grim Jr. is in fact Destructicus's son, it could be possible that he gets his hair style and hair color from him but his blue eye comes from his Grandmother Ghastly.

but seeing as Grim Jr.'s Grandpa Earl (who in Grim Tales, is both Grim Sr. & Jack Skellington's Father) has blue eyes, it can mean that Grim Jr. could of got his eye color from him, but his hair color from Destructicus, and it could turn out that Ghastly's hair wasn't originally Red and her real hair color is brown, which means that Destructicus and Grim Jr. got their hair color from Ghastly.

I'm going to view this theory as Fan-Headcanon, even if it might be a while before we finally find out who Grim Jr. aka Junior's Biological Father is.

but those who are the possible fathers of Grim Jr., are Timmy Turner, Danny Fenton and Irwin.

oh my gosh, I even have another reason to think Destructicus is Grim Jr.'s Real Bio-Father…it's because Queen Mandy herself, has a thing for Muscular & Powerful Men.

even if some info about Timmy Turner (who as a Adult becomes Muscular and possibly powerful) was confirmed to have been originally intended father of Grim Jr.

but in a Fanon Timeline this could still be true, like it turning out that Timmy Turner & Destructicus are one in the same.

this would also mean that Mr. & Mrs. Turner wouldn't be Timmy's Biological Parents, because he was adopted and it turning out that Mr. & Mrs. Turner did have a daughter who might of been taken away from them because both of them were not fit to raise a child (which is kind of true given how they always go out without Timmy and leave him to be watched by Vicky)...

and the said daughter was likely Sophia Turner, who appeared in a Alternate Timeline in the episode "It's A Wishful Life"…

in the Original Timeline where Timmy has Mr & Mrs Turner as parents, if Sophia was taken away from Mr. & Mrs. Turner when she was a baby in that timeline, then one of the reasons why they picked Timmy to adopt when he was a baby, could be that he looked like their daughter Sophia.

and it could turn out that Mr. Turner and Hector Con Carne are Brothers, meaning that in the Fanon Timeline, Hector's birth name is "Hector Turner" and if Hector is Timmy's Real Biological Father (in a Fanon Timeline/Crossover AU) this would mean that Mr. Turner is Timmy's Biological Uncle.

it might be a good idea for Mr. Turner to be called "Palmer Turner" and Mrs. Turner as "Sashanne Turner" meaning if her name was Sasha, she would of been "Sashanne Vladislapov" before she married Mr.Turner.

the name Sashanne has to do with how one of Mrs. Turner's Aliases is "Sasha The Psycho" and the fact that in the cartoon, she was moved by Susanne Blakeslee. and Mrs. Turner's name can be either spelled "Sashanne" or "Sasha-Anne" which would still end up sounding the same.

but yeah, her being called Sasha-Anne can be inspired by both by Susanne Blakeslee who voiced her and Mrs. Turner's Alias "Sasha The Psycho"it might make more sense for her name to be spelled "Sasha-Anne" and well it's okay not everyone agrees about her being called Sasha-Anne.

it can also turn out that Sasha-Anne and Ghastly are family in one of the Fanon Timelines, which means that Vlad & Gladys Vladislapov would be Ghastly's Parents.

but since Sasha-Anne Turner has a brother, that would mean that in the Fanon Timeline, she would of had two siblings.

so if it did turn out that Destructicus is Timmy Turner, who we know is from a Alternate Timeline…

this would mean that unlike Timmy, Destructicus was able to still have his Biological Parents in his life and were raised by them…

but in the timeline (still the Fanon Timeline) where Timmy would of became the same as Destructicus from the Alternate Timeline, he was given to Hector Con Carne's Brother Palmer Turner and His Brother's Wife Sasha-Anne Turner.

this could also mean in a Fanon Timeline of Grim Tales From Down Below, while Timmy isn't the Biological Father of Grim Jr. (even if he was originally going to be so…), his Alternate Timeline Counterpart "Destructicus Con Carne" is the Biological Father of Grim Jr. instead…this could be because Destructicus at some point, decided to stay in the timeline where the younger version of his parents lived, so he could protect his alternate timeline counterpart.

one of the reasons why Hector gave his son to his brother, might have to do with the fact he doesn't want Timmy/Destructicus to turn out like the version from the Alternate Timeline, where he is a Good Guy.

and in the Fanon Timeline in the Crossover Universe of Grim Tales From Down Below, it can turn out that reason why Hector became a Bad Guy in the first place, was because of his terrible childhood when he was still living with Palmer Turner.

it can turn out that Palmer is the Older Brother and Hector is the Younger Brother.

not all Fanon ideas have to make sense, we know that in Fanon Timelines that are also in Crossover Alternate Universes, such worlds have both Fanon & Canon Characters.

plus Grim Tales and even Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi are part of a type of Fanon Timeline, but could also be possibly seen as Semi-Canon.

we also know that it can truly be possible that the future timeline of Grim Tales From Down Below, is a Dark Alternate Future for those from Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi, and there could be a Light Alternate Future, and a Twilight Alternate Future...and well the Twilight Alternate Future being in between dark and light.

also in a Crossover where Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss ends up in the mix, I think if Billy did end up at the Hazbin Hotel, he would likely drive someone crazy with how he is.

just throw him at Lute and Peepaw Adam and call it a day. XD

I would enjoy them being tormented by Billy, who shares the same voice actor as Moxxie from Helluva Boss, so another reason for me to love the idea for Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel being added into the Fanon Timeline that is Grim Tales From Down Below. :D

anyway it could still be possible that Grim Jr.'s Biological Father might really be Destructicus, which would also make Hector and Ghastly the Grandparents of Grim Jr. , and while the Future Adult version of Timmy from that world wouldn't be the Dad but if Timmy and Destructicus are counterparts from different Alternate Timelines, and it turning out Destructicus is in fact Timmy in that Crossover Universe, it would still technically make Timmy the Dad like he originally was, but at the same time he isn't, because it is a Alternate Timeline version of himself who is called Destructicus.

I mean, Adult-Mandy from the Future Timeline in the Grim Tales From Down Below Comic Series, has a thing for powerful men who just happen to be muscular, so yeah, Ghastly and Hector's Son from a Alternate Future fits that pretty well.

so it could be possible that Destructicus is Grim Jr.'s Father, well Biologically.

and even if Minimandy is Mandy and Nergal Jr.'s Daughter,

she can have different parts of herself that involves her love for Grim Jr., and one of them being the very well known fact about her Brother Complex, which even if she tries to deny, she can't hide behind those lies forever, not even after she started to act even colder and cruel later on in the comic and it may have to do with how nice Grim Jr. is being to Mimi.

even if Blossom did end up marrying Dexter in that Alternate Timeline, but it doesn't mean he would be 100% a good Step-Father to Mimi, and if it is true that Nephilim Machine is the reason why Mimi had became Sterile and it has nothing to do with her being a Cambion, it could have to do with it being Dexter's fault.

someone had to say it, if he is the one that made that machine for her abilities, he should of ran some form of tests on it first before using it on a child who would later end up becoming sterile and even when she does grow up and become a adult, she wont be able to have children, not unless she does so the same way as Professor Utonium did and use Sugar, Spice and Chemical X with a strand of Mimi's hair.

that could possibly be one of the ways Mimi when she does become Adult in a far off future in the comic series, can have children.

she would need to do the same thing as her Grandpa Utonium did.

and yeah, if some info about that Nephilim Machine is true, then it would make sense that Dexter would be at fault, and Blossom may have not known about it until the damage had been done.

for all we know, it could be possible while not being divorced, Blossom and Dexter in Grim Tales From Down Below's Timeline could turn out to be separated.

and it would be interesting if Blossom ended up in Pentagram City, which could be a few miles away from Imp City.

Blossom's Sinner Demon form could be any type of form, possibly being a Succubus but with female Imp horns.

and for all we know, she could be working part-time at Ozzie's while having a job at the Vee's Tower as one of Vox's assistants or possibly being his secretary.

Bubbles from that Grim Tales From Down Below, is possibly in Heaven, and where Buttercup is, might be in the Ghost Zone.

so each of the Powerpuff Girls who are now Adults would be separated and in three different afterlives.

even though Blossom loves her daughter Mimi, she could of been a bit better at being a mother, and not just a Gray-Parent, I mean yeah, Gray-Parents do try their best but sometimes they can mess their kids up. even if they might not figure that out until much later on.

some parents aren't perfect, and even if Gray-Parents do make mistakes, they aren't as worse as Toxic-Parents who use that whole "their after your kids" when it comes to I and others who are Nonbinary, and no one told me to be a Nonbinary-Girl, I had to figure that out on my own and it was a few years ago when I did figure that out....so it might of been around 2016 when I did figure it out, I can't remember...

and my Dad was never really there for me, sure he may have gave money for I guess child support, but he was NEVER truly there for me, and even if we met only once, and bonded that time....would of hurt him to be there for me a bit more and actually give a fragging slag about me?! he could of even visited me when I was a newborn, and I was pretty much of a size of a 2 week old when I was born.

man I ended up crying, and while talking about that, I was also listening to that song "More Than Anything" that has Charlie and Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel, singing it.

I guess listening to that song at the same time when talking about my Dad, well my Human Dad who is still biologically related to me...

I guess feelings do get out in the form of tears.

and yeah even if my being a Defective Earth Angel and a accident, is true, and my soul is half-angel and half-human...I doubt my Soul-Dad gives two slags about me as well, cause if he did, he wouldn't let my past life selves get hurt.

and no one should try to change it, because it would mess up the timeline.

even if my Dad, ya know my Human Dad loved me, he could of still came to see me when I was really little and still go back to his family where he was living at...

and well I'm still going to hope I'm not Jesus's descendant and he is only a distant cousin, and one of the concerns I can possibly have, is being born from part of a soul fragment from his own daughter that ended up merging with the other soul fragments that ended up making me......so yeah, hopefully that wont be true. and call me paranoid for having that thought pop into my head.

I still rather go live with Omni-Mom, ya know, The Goddess that has to do with the Divine Feminine.

I can still believe in God as well, so don't misunderstand...

and I guess I'm feeling a little sad at the moment, guess talking about the whole thing about my own Daddy issues, got to me a bit more than I thought...

anyway with that sad stuff put aside, it could still be possible that we could end up finding out who Grim Jr.'s Biological Father is in the future, and hopefully we wont have to wait for too long.

and even if it turns out his Bio-Dad is someone else, I can accept it.

but if it turns out that I'm right about his Bio-Dad being Destructicus, I might say "I called it." but I might just be surprised if I turn out to be right about him being Grim Jr.'s Dad.

I'm going to try to get in a bit of a more happy mood before I talk about some ships I like in the next post after this...so yeah, hope some like the theory about Destructicus being Grim Jr.'s Bio-Dad.

[yukidragon]

How much of “Jack” as we know him do you think is Joseph putting on a persona? I love your analysis of him as a character so much!!

Thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoy my posts! 💖

That’s a difficult question to answer at this point, since we only have the demo, some teasers, and Sleepy Time Jack to draw hints from. I suspect that there’s a lot more of Joseph’s personality in Jack than he would be comfortable acknowledging.

All of us wear a persona when interacting with other people. It’s just human nature. Most of the time the persona is of the person we want to be rather than who we think we really are deep down. I think that’s Jack’s situation in a nutshell.

Sunny Day Jack is an ideal self Jack wants to be. Joseph is not.

That doesn’t mean Joseph was a bad person, even if he was a troubled teen who struggled to get along with others. He seems to have befriended his co-stars as an adult. He was invited to the wedding of one and called “a good man” by the other. He seemed genuinely concerned about doing right by the children in the interview with the psyche consultant despite mistakes he made when he was a teen.

It seems like Joseph was just a man who made mistakes as a teen. He learned from his mistakes, matured, and was trying to do better in the present after reinventing himself. However, despite his efforts and friendships, being reminded of his life as Joseph now is traumatic for Jack.

We see shades of Joseph disliking his past self in the psyche recording. He reinvented himself by changing at least his last name and running away. Jack is Joseph running away from his past identity and self for a second time. Even in the interview, he seems uncomfortable thinking about his past.

Judging by how some of the comments from his school days still haunt him enough for him as Jack to turn it around onto one of his hypothetical victims, it’s possible that being reminded of his past would cause a similar traumatized reaction.

Hell, for all we know, the yogurt could have reminded Jack of his time as Joseph Cullman and not as [Redacted] Haberdae.

I suspect the Jack persona is, in a way, surface level, much like the makeup, clothes, and wig he wore to dress up as the character when acting. It’s still mostly the same person underneath, but with a much more polished presentation.

Even the birthmark on his cheek is covered up when he’s dressed up. Judging by the same mark appearing on his hypothetical child, that mark could have been inherited from one of his parents as well.

Jack has no tattoos, which Joseph regrets getting. Jack is always happy and cheerful, never getting tired and worn down, needing to get a fix to make it through the day (cigarettes, if not worse). Jack was beloved by so many people across the USA, both young and old. It might be another reason why the interviewer digging for dirt, such as nude photos, set him off.

Sunny Day Jack is “clean” and wholesome. He was the “candy coating” over more unpleasant things on the show, and I think that Jack is the “candy coating” over Joseph in the present day.

The jokes, the positive affirmations, the colorful clothes, the makeup and hair, the squeaky-clean G-rated personality who could never swear... (Heck, he even smells like fresh laundry according to Sauce. The scent of nicotine lingers for a long, long time even after a person quits, so this is a deliberate change as well.) I think these are the parts that make up Sunny Day Jack.

The parts of Joseph that Jack has kept, at least in my opinion, is the more emotional side of him, the unguarded bits. These include his fears of being alone and forgotten, his love for MC, and being so very starved for love and physical affection.

I mean, hell, the fact that Jack makes out with MC and even has sex is absolutely something we can attribute to coming from Joseph rather than Jack. After all, that sort of NC-17 rated behavior is not fitting for a wholesome kids TV host.

Of course there’s also the yandere tendencies. Violence is a bridge too far for Sunny Day Jack, but those urges are there in Joseph. He can justify the sex as another way of expressing love, but hurting someone? Killing someone? He can’t justify that as the character he’s playing. But he needs to get rid of these threats, and he’s just so angry with them for getting in his way. This is why I think he basically talks the person into doing harm to themselves.

Ultimately, I do believe that the person we know as Jack really is Joseph, just lost in his role. Everything ideal about himself is attributed to being Jack. Anything “unclean” is attributed to the person he was before. Jack has reinvented himself as the character, but the core of Joseph is still in there, whether he likes it or not.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars

[92-guy]

Your rate of the ships and why.

Thank you very much for asking, sorry for taking so long, but I wanted to answer your question as best as possible, so here are my top 5 favorites ships (Not in a specific order)

Jackunzel

Probably the most famous ship on this list, if this is your favourite, you're picking the safest option, maybe a bit overrated, but still a very good one.

Now, I believe that this couple is what we all wanted to be when we were children, to be outgoing and find someone just as fun, kind and trustworthy, who would not leave us alone in our nonsense and on the contrary would make us see the beauty of our differences. their parallelism and differences in personality and physique seem to me to be one of the best things between Disney and Dreamworks, and I consider that Jack was the direct response towards Rapunzel, taking inspiration from her to make the "Perfect boy" for a generation of people, while Although Rapunzel is not talked about much now, she is the kindest princess Disney has ever created (and still is).

Depending on what AU you have of them, I think they would make a very good and fun Sitcom in any AU.

I once read that someone compared them to Nightwing and Starfire and I couldn't agree more with that.

Hiccunzel

They are cute

I like how they look together and they give me Spider-Man and Mary Jane vibes if only Spider-Man had good character development and could mature.

I like the fact that she is an outgoing and creative girl, with an introverted and witty boy, Hiccup would be the first to fall in love with her, trying to do whatever it takes to make her notice him, supporting her with painting, teaching her everything he could. she knows about dragons, drawing, even asking them to make a small smithy so she could use it as a kitchen and both of them will cook together while in Berk.

And I can't stop seeing them in this situation

Jarida

At first I didn't think I could like them that much, but I saw in them a kind of connection that I don't know how it worked, both wanting to enjoy the moment and without thinking about those responsible, just young being young.

I like how their relationship could not be supported while they are at peace, but at the moment of the action they know that they make the best team, synchronizing their movements and knowing what the other wants, and from that connection a tender love would arise where both did not want feel the love for the other, but it was inevitable, the jokes of both would begin to be excuses to get closer to the other, which Jack would love the smell of Merida and she would love the frozen sensation of Jack and fly with him.

The only thing that I think is bad about this relationship is that they would probably need to go to therapy, because they would not be very easy to open up their feelings, especially when something hurts them, so as not to appear weak to their partner and when they have an argument. or problem, they would rather solve it with… “action” than talk about it, they would be much like Ron and Hermione.

(But these are things that can be fixed with therapy, go to therapy, it's better than you think)

For the rest, I think they are a very nice couple and their relationship with the team would be one of those who always look for fights.

Janna

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A extremely underrated ship, but I find it a very interesting couple, an outgoing and impulsive boy who lost his younger sister, while she is an outgoing and impulsive girl who lost her older sister for a long time.

Clearly they would create a bond, Jack taking the role of older brother that Anna always wanted to have with Elsa, but she couldn't, while Anna would take the role of younger sister and mother at the same time, being protective of Jack when she wants to. doing things without thinking, a bit hypocritical, because if she's involved with him, she's willing to follow him, which almost always ends with something broken.

Besides that Anna would help him with Jack's mommy issues.

Their relationship seems to me that it would be friendship first, going on to treat each other as brothers and family, Anna over protecting Jack and Jack feeling the crush first, followed by Anna, both are afraid of their feelings, after all, they were like brothers, but Anna, as the dominant in the relationship, decides to face the situation and here there can be two ways out, or they end up like Steve and Peggy from the MCU

Hiccelsa

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I have to admit, this is my personal favorite.

I have to admit that I was one of the people who supported that Elsa was lesbian, or should be asexual, and that she shouldn't have any ship, but then I met Hiccelsa, and it totally changed my mind, this became my ship favorite, since they are not only 2 of my favorite characters, but also because they perfectly represent opposites, Elsa representing ice, immovable, cold, serene; while Hiccup represents fire, unstoppable, warm, passionate.

Their ship reminds me a lot of Superman and Wonder Woman, a fair and upright woman, with a kind and understandable man.

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In addition, it seems to me that they would be a very mature relationship, where if they were fighting they would not speak to each other, but they still want to help the other, because they love each other and an argument will not separate them.

I don't think they fall in love instantly, but they would start as friends, they respect each other until they form a good friendship, Hiccup being Elsa's first "best friend" and what begins to attract them is their attitude, Elsa without fear to the unknown and willing to give everything to protect others, while Hiccup being a selfless hero, and willing to go against his superiors to do the right thing, even being just a man without a leg, attitudes that each would attract.

In addition, they are dramatic that if you stop watching them for 2 seconds they are already posing.

And their relationship with "The big 6" would be the father and mother of the team, obviously.

Believe me when I tell you that it took me longer to figure out what to remove so that this space wouldn't be so long, than to describe why I like this ship so much.

[baekluvie]

obsession | chapter 6

pairing: reader x baekhyun

word count: 13k

genre: yandere au | this is heavily inspired by the show 'you'

tag list: @mayboy @vishary15 @greasywall @loversmantra @cityexos @kavvs @prettyboybaek @byunds

(let me know if you want to be tagged ^^)

warnings for this chapter: murder, mental illness(s), mention of death(s), implied violence, violence, manipulation, mature language, obsessiveness

do not read if: you are triggered by any of the warnings i listed prior. this fic will contain this theme throughout the chapters. if you are not comfortable with that; please skip this post. please remember this is a work of fiction.

viewer discretion is advised

playlist for this chapter:

space song - chanyeol's pov

ylang ylang - chanyeol's pov

heather - junmyeon's pov (this song fits perfectly for junmyeon in this im crying)

doin' time - baekhyun pov

blood // water - baekhyun pov

(a/n): this chapter is waaaay longer than i planned it to be. but nonetheless it was very fun to write. a little evil i won't lie lol. but THIS means i won't be ending it anytime soon, there's so much i need to unfold to you guys hehe. but i hope you guys enjoy this and don't hate me too much for it. love u guys. like always, replies are open. please send me messages, requests, your thoughts! always appreciated! reblog and like as it really helps me out. have fun reading!

Chanyeol POV

He didn't have any motivation to get up. He wanted to simply stay in bed, sulk and complain to himself that he put himself in the situation; there was no going back from any of it. But instead, on a well deserved day off, he was shaken from his dark thoughts with the sound of his phone going off. Chanyeol grunted as he moved his body to lay on his side, facing the bedside drawer next to his bed. He watched as his phone began to light up in the dark room, the only source of light coming from the windows, broadcasting beautiful Seoul within his sight. He could never complain about the view, the tall buildings never seeming to end, the way the horizon broke through the bland identical towers; furthermore proving just how successful he was, living in his own loft in one of the most expensive areas around. 

So he grudgingly picked up his phone, his eyes squinting from the brightness. He lets his fingers trace some of the scratches that were on the screen, doing so while he read the multiple messages he was receiving. 

(4 New Messages)

(7 New Messages)

(8 New Messages)-

"Fuck, I get it." He opened up his phone lockscreen, bringing him to the plethora of texts. 

We need to talk. 

I'm kind of freaked out man 

Like 

what the fuck 

Jun is fucking pissed

did you know that?

i don't want to deal with his depressed ass  

are u up 

r u jacking off 

Instead of just replying back, Chanyeol pressed the contact profile and brought his device to his ear. He yawned, stretching out his long limbs on his white bedsheets. This wasn't exactly anything new to him, in fact, he was honestly used to it at this point. Especially when it came to... well, him. 

"Dude?" 

"What, Sehun." 

"Did you read my texts?" 

"Do you think I'd be calling you on my day off if I didn't?" He scoffed. 

Sehun laughs on his end, making Chanyeol break into a smile as well. 

"We have to meet up. Like anywhere. I don't care. But we need to talk about-" 

Chanyeol suddenly feels flushed, his heart drops, not wanting to even hear the name. 

"No. I don't want to talk about him. I'm done with him." 

He bundles a fistful of sheets in his grasp, his teeth already gritting together. The dull reminder of his last encounter with Baekhyun is still evident in his features. Chanyeol could talk about anything else; anyone else. But even so, in the back of his head, he knew that he could never really escape his best friend. Like he was dreading moments earlier, the truth, moreso, he could never go back. He bites his bottom lip, looking up angrily to his ceiling. 

Sehun doesn't say anything, his breath coming out in ragged breaths. 

Chanyeol's eyebrow raises, frustration building in his chest. 

"What the fuck is it?" 

"Well you said not to talk about him-" 

"Yeah well, it seems like this matter won't be solved if I'm not involved so I don't think I have a fucking choice, huh?" 

"It's about Y/N." 

Chanyeol sits up abruptly as he grips the phone tighter. 

"What about her?" 

"Please... not on the phone. I'm too freaked out by him, dude. He could be listening or something." 

"Sehun, he's not that fucking smart. Don't give him credit for something he can't even do." 

"He might not be that smart, yeah. But he has connections, man. Why don't I just come over?" 

And that's how Chanyeol ended up on his day off; sitting in his living room with his black robe on; drinking some coffee as Sehun poured out everything that had occured a couple days prior. 

"Baekhyun... you have to stop him, Chanyeol. He changed Y/N. I don't even know how- but dude. She's not answering any of my texts- my calls. She always lets me know how she's doing. This is completely out of character." 

Sehun ran his hand through his quiffed up hair, shaking his head slightly as his eyes tore into Chanyeol's. They were bloodshot, dark circles sprinkled underneath them. Sehun was young, just a fucking kid. He shouldn't have to be worrying about someone, he already has enough to deal with; a stressful job, debt, and now another thing to pile on top of that... Chanyeol was afraid he was going to break if he didn't do something. 

He sighed to himself as he placed his coffee mug on the glass table in front of his couch. He notices how Sehun's was left untouched, the steam no longer pouring from the rim. He lets his body rest in the cushions, crossing his arms together as his eyebrows furrowed together. 

"So you're telling me that Baekhyun killed someone- again. This isn't anything new, Sehun. What do you want me to do about a case that's already been reviewed and written off as a suicide?" His foot taps against the floorboards quickly. 

Sehun shrugs, scratching his arm and looking around skittishly. 

"I- I don't know. I feel like there's something different about it this time around. Y/N covered for him. She looked off, there was blood on her too." 

This piqued his interest. He leaned into the conversation, his hands clasping together. 

"She had blood on her? What, so... what are you trying to say? That Y/N killed her?" 

The younger one licked his lips, diverting his attention to his abandoned coffee. 

"I don't want to assume-" 

Chanyeol grabbed his mug and threw it across the living room, the sound of it crashing against the wall echoing in the empty loft. Sehun squirmed in his seat, wincing as Chanyeol walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. He turns his head to the side as his lips curl up, a quiet sob escaping from his throat. Chanyeol shook him, tightening his firm grasp on the other's shirt, making him look directly at him. 

His own nose was flaring, his teeth grinding against another, the only emotion he felt was complete, and utter desperation. He needed to know what this could actually be about; if it was true, and God, he really hoped that it wouldn't be, so he could possibly save you. He wished someone could have saved him when he got interloped with Baekhyun. 

"No games, Sehun. I'm being fucking serious. If you think that she was capable of doing that- you need to fucking tell me." 

His words came out like bullets, firing each and every single one into Sehun's head. When he still doesn't say anything, Chanyeol yells at him, spit flying in multiple directions. He lets go of him, pushing him back on the chair he was sitting in before. He turns his back to him, bringing his hand to cover his mouth, holding onto his lips as he looks around in anger. Sehun's sobs were getting on his nerves, but not because it was annoying; because Chanyeol knew that they were a submission of guilt, the truth. Sehun knew that you were the one who did the heinous crime, he just didn't want to believe it. Chanyeol was used to the never ending cycle of Baekhyun's killings, fuck, he would be nervous if he wasn't calling him in the middle of the night to help him dispose of a body. But Sehun wasn't like him, he wasn't able to confront the truth like Chanyeol could. He was too innocent, he couldn't grasp the understanding of someone killing another just because.

"I- I don't want her to get in trouble, Chan. You have to understand-" 

He spins around, rushing forward toward Sehun, getting down on his knees and holding the other's legs. The poor kid was a wreck, his lips formed into a pout, tears drenching his cheeks, his nose a shade of red. He tries to relax his features, his voice hitching as he speaks to him slowly. 

"If she did this, we can't let her do it again. You have to understand Sehun." 

He shook his head, putting his own hands over Chanyeol's, his knuckles a shade of white. 

"No, please. She can't go to jail, she's just confused- he's fucking maniuplating her. We just need to kill him-" 

Chanyeol lets his head dangle down, a broken chuckle leaving his lips. 

Sehun shakes him a little, his frazzled state becoming overwhelmed at this point. 

"Chanyeol- we- we can do this. We can get away with it. I've thought about it-"

Chanyeol doesn't bring his head up as he cuts him off. 

"We'd be no better than him. Don't you get it?" 

A beat. 

He looks back up with a heartfelt smile, a single tear falling from his eye. 

"In everything, he wins. He will always win." 

Sehun gapes at him, his tears falling on Chanyeol's hands. He purses his lips together, shaking his head. He pushes himself off the chair, grabbing his phone that was left on the table, pausing to look down at Chanyeol. He was frozen in place still, his knees scraping across the floor, still staring at the empty space that once held another body. 

"If you won't help me kill him, I'll do it myself." 

He starts to walk out, freezing as his hand reaches the doorknob. Chanyeol turns his head then, staring at the back of his friend; his brother. His lip trembles as he blinks back more tears, his vision of him becoming blurry. 

"Sehun. Please. Don't."

"You know. I always looked up to you. You were always so composed, so... unreachable. I always felt like I was close to you though. You're so admirable, Chan. I think that's why I liked you so much, why I wanted to be a part of your life. But now," He turns back to look at Chanyeol, his eyes red as he hesitates. 

"You're nothing to me. I will never be what Baekhyun is to you. And in some, twisted way, you're worse than him. Because I know if I asked Baekhyun; if you, were the one fucking killing innocent women, he would do it without me convincing him. Do you know why? Because that's what friends do. And you're no fucking friend." 

Chanyeol lets out a foreign, uncontrolled crack of his voice. He reaches his hand out to Sehun, crawling towards him as he begins to cry. 

"Please, you have to understand-" 

Sehun opens the door, standing in the doorframe, back once again turned to face Chanyeol. 

"You can't even be loyal to something as small as your best friend." 

And that hits Chanyeol right in the heart. He pauses his movements, his nose congested, his chest tight. The same words his own father distastefully instilled in him over and over again. It was back; the haunting feeling of being nothing but the shadow of his father. The same man who didn't care for his own family, his friends. He was truly, and utterly, exactly like him. 

Everything he worked so hard for, it was all for nothing. He never wanted to be like the man who brought him into this world, but as he watched Sehun's silhouette disappear from his sight, he knew that it was over. 

He starts to laugh now, the dreadful noise bouncing off the walls. His body hits the floor, and he brings his knees up to his chest, circling his arms around them. His tall frame shakes as his laughter shakes his entire being. 

"Like father, like son." He whispers to himself. 

Junmyeons' POV

"Hello?" 

Junmyeon sat at his desk, plucking through some documents that were placed in front of him moments prior. He licks his indent finger, thumbing through a flurry of white papers, his eyes skimming the words quickly. He pauses his actions as he hears the recognizable voice on the other end of the line, relaxing in his chair and smiling. 

"You okay? I can't talk for long, I'm swamped in a burglary case-"

"I really need to talk to you right now. In private." 

He clicks his tongue, looking at the workload he was about to dive into. His fingers drum against the desk, he brings his left arm up to examine his watch. He was expected elsewhere on his lunch break, but the immediate worry in his friend's voice alarmed him. 

"How important can it be, Sehun?" 

"Too important. Can you meet me or not?" 

Junmyeon frowns. 

"I was actually planning on meeting Y/N at a cafe nearby the station. You could accompany us if you want?" 

Sehun's voice hitched to a different octave, and Junmyeon sits up in his chair, absentmindedly looking off with a concerned expression. 

"T-that's fine. It's better actually. Can you maybe go on your break now?" 

Junmyeon lowers his voice to a whisper, his eyes flickering outside his office, watching his staff behind their own desks typing away. 

"What is this about, Sehun?" 

"I'm going to tell the truth." 

Junmyeon covers his mouth, feeling both unsure and nervous. 

"The truth?" 

"I can't say anything else on the phone. Just trust me. You're going to want to hear this." 

He doesn't say anything else to Sehun, bringing the phone away from his ear and clicking the end button. He sets his device face down on the desk, pushing himself away from the dilemma he knew was unfolding. His eyes go back to the sight of people working, his lips puckering as his mood soured. He got up from his seat, taking long strides to his window, bringing his hand to close the blinds. 

Once the blinds were completely closed, he turned around to face the full length windows on the other side of the room, letting the warmth of the sun absorb into his skin. He sighs as he walks towards them, his eyes watching as cars zoomed by on the street, a couple walking hand in hand together. His lips tighten together to form a stubborn frown, his arms behind his back, hands clasped together. He starts to think about his encounter with Baekhyun. He ponders on him, remembering his scent, the small details of blood underneath his fingernails. He feels his lip twitch as he can almost smell the disgusting stench of death on him; and yet how another human being can simply dismiss it, be almost accustomed to it, could talk so carelessly. 

He then remembers seeing you. A small hiccup of his heartbeat pounding against his chest startles him. He almost feels embarrassed, and he coughs to regain his thoughts. You were overflowing with anxiety that night, the strucken nerves you displayed filled to the brim and threatening to topple over. He could never forget that, most importantly since you have never been like that in front of him. You were always able to talk to him with the utmost confidence, and that was something he admired about you. Most of his employees were too nervous to even look him in the eye. 

But you? 

You got under his skin, interrupted his thoughts. You didn't care for his position of power, in fact you challenged it. He brushed it aside as being proud of you. You were another person who exchanged the same morals as him, the same mindset. You were a person who didn't let any obstacle stand in your way... you stood for what was right. And somehow along the way, he forgot you were his subordinate. That you weren't just someone he was able to chat and get some drinks with. The undeniable feeling that you were different from other women, you were yourself. 

And your own self was captured by him. 

He didn't know exactly when this exact feeling arose in him. He could probably pinpoint one memory, something that he replayed in his mind when work was beginning to become too much for him. He smiles at the sky, reminiscing. 

After a long shift, the two of you decided to go get some drinks. 

"I told you I would get them. And here you were, not believing in me. I'm hurt." 

You sat next to him at the bar, three shot glasses in front of both of you. You had shoved him with your left arm softly, and Junmyeon could already feel his face warming up from the last shot he gulped down his throat. He shook his head, hissing from the bitter taste of vodka left on his taste buds. He chuckles to himself, raising his hand to the bartender, issuing another round of shots. 

You tilted your head to look at him, and Junmyeon cocked his to match. Your cheeks were probably a brighter red than his, your skin glowing. Small lines crinkling next to your eyes appear, and you break out into a large smile. 

"What? Not going to say anything to that? Come on, you have to fight back!" 

He tossed his hands up, smirking. 

"What can I say? You were right. I shouldn't have doubted you." 

You nod, giggling to yourself. The small clear shot glasses are placed in front of them, and Junmyeon grabs it without hesitation. You followed suit, spinning your chair so you were facing him fully. You raise the disgusting poison that would fill your bodies up, waiting for him to do so as well. He gave in, shaking his head and closing his eyes. He suddenly feels your hand on his cheek, and that makes his eyes shoot up to meet yours. He freezes in that moment, fully taking in how the wind blew your hair to the right. You were shaking your head as you laughed, your eyes twinkling like the stars in the sky. 

But Junmyeon thought they couldn't really compare to them anyways. 

His clouded mind doesn't even register what you were saying, so he has to ask you again what you had said. 

You blinked at him, not breaking the smile on your face. 

"I said, thank you for being in my life. You're the best thing to come out of this job, I finally found someone that makes police work something to get out of bed for. I'm happy I can come in and see you in your office. What makes me even happier is knowing that I'll always be by your side." 

He stutters a bit, blinking rapidly, becoming too self aware of his heart beating out of his chest. 

"T-true that." 

You give him a disgusted look then, bringing the shot to your lips and tilting your head back. A small yelp escapes your lips after you gulp down the liquid, closing your eyes as you shake from side to side. 

"Don't ever say that again. You sound like my dad trying to be hip." 

"Hey! Don't compare me to your dad. It's gross." He rolls his eyes as he copies you, feeling lightheaded as he slams the cup on the table. 

There was an awkward silence for a couple of minutes before he mustered up the confidence to speak again. 

"I'm happy too." 

You look at him, your eyelids drooping down as you smack your lips together drunkley. 

"Huh?" 

He bites his tongue, almost doesn't want to finish what he wanted to say. But with the alcohol in his system, he shakes away the alarms ringing in his head and lets the truth flow from his dry lips. 

"I mean... I'm happy you're in my life. You're quite possibly the best person I've met. I think you're great, you- you're amazing. I want to be the person you can talk to about anything, I want to be there for you when you feel like everyone is against you. I can be that guy that you can call in the middle of the night when you had a fucking nightmare, I- I don't know. You're different." 

Your eyes widen at that, your expression that was onced filled with happiness was replaced with one of curiosity. The way you stared at him made him feel like a creep, and even though you wouldn't be able to notice it through his already red face, a blush sneakily creeped in. He waved his hands off, shaking his head as he laughed it off. 

"Nevermind. I'm drunk. You should probably get home." 

He grabbed his black jacket that was draped around the chair he sat on, reaching for your hand to usher you out with him. You take it gently, and Junmyeon doesn't miss how you had continued to stare at him, not even when you both stepped into the street and began to walk into the night. 

He brings the both of you to a halt when you reach your car. You rubbed your hands over your arms, obviously cold from the chilly night. He raises his eyebrow at you, pursing his lips. 

"Are you cold?" 

You shake your head as you stumble in place, laughing. 

"I'll be fine. I've got thick skin." 

He shakes his head as well, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. You look at him as he adjusts it over your small frame, and he smiles as he takes a step back to get a good look at you. He lets out a snort, his teeth fully broadcasted to you. You squirm as you fit your arms into the sleeves, looking down as they fully sink in. Junmyeon laughs at the sight, the way your hands aren't even visible once the garment settles on your body. 

"I knew you were small but not that small." 

You stick out your tongue, flinging the extra fabric towards him, giggling as he dodges it. 

"Well, I guess I should get going." 

Junmyeon frowns. 

"You're not driving." 

Your eyebrows hitch up. 

"How am I getting home then?" 

He brings his finger up as he reaches in his pocket, bringing out his phone. He brings up the familiar number to a cab service he could almost memorize at this point; too used to calling them when he got too drunk himself. 

With a quick explanation to where they were at, he slips it back into his slack's pocket. He then fishes out his wallet while you stare at him, still flinging the ends of the sleeves from side to side. He takes out a couple of bills, then walked towards you and stretched his hand out. You looked down at it, then back up at him. 

"I could just call Kyungsoo to pick me up. I'd feel bad about taking your money." 

You barely whisper out. 

He shakes his head, his eyes resting on your lips for a mere second. 

"Don't do that. I can take care of you." 

He didn't mean for that to come out so sensually, it just felt normal in this moment to speak to you like that. Maybe it was because he was drunk, the way he simply didn't care. You didn't say a word as you took the money from his palm, and maybe Junmyeon imagined it, but your fingers stayed a second longer on his. 

You took a step forward, looking up at him. Your features softened, a gentle smile delivered straight to his heart. 

"Thank you, Myeonnie." 

He could feel the warmth radiating off your body, the way the both of you were so close to one another. So he offers his own smile, nodding his head. He coughs to break the tension he was feeling, and your smile falters then. He turns around, dipping his head to look in both directions of the street. He waits until he spots a pair of headlights tumbling down the narrow road, and he waves his hand in the air. 

He watches as you walk next to the vehicle, your hand reaching the handle. You suddenly pause, and Junmyeon looks at your stilled body in confusion. Before he could register anything else, he feels your arms wrap around his waist, pulling him into your embrace. He doesn't know what to do with his hands, just keeps them at bay on either side of his torso. The man in the cab looks at him questiongly, then flashes him a toothy grin. He mimics hugging someone, then points at him to do the same. 

"When someone hugs you... you hug 'em back." You slurred against his chest. 

Your words vibrated against his skin, and he's worried that you would feel just how fast his heart was pumping. So he rashfully swings his arms around you as well, pulling you in tighter. He rests his head on top of yours, bringing his right hand to comb your hair. His nose catches the scent of lavender, and he closes his eyes, taking it in. He wasn't weird, not at all. Employees can hug. They could definitely enjoy the smell of their shampoo too; especially since it was probably a great brand. Yeah, that was it. He just was entranced by whatever product you used... not you. Couldn't be. 

You pulled back from him, your arms disappearing from his waist. He almost wanted to pull you back in, but he knew anything more than that could be worse for him. So he doesn't say anything else when you finally get inside the car. He waves you off, watching your face brighten as you wave excidelty back. He shoves his hands in his pockets, the red tail lights staining his face, morphing the evidence of the reddish hue of a blush. 

"I can't wait to see you tomorrow." He breathes out heavily into the night. 

He replays you saying the nickname you gave him repeatedly in his head, smiling to himself as he sinks into his car. He remembers thumping his fingers tirelessly against the wheel, his head resting against the carseat. He fell asleep in his vehicle that night. It was the best sleep he had ever gotten in his entire life. 

And he had a great fucking mattress at home. 

But for some reason the stiff and uncomfortable leather wasn't that bad. He wouldn't mind a bad back if it meant that he was able to see you. Junmyeon-

"Junmyeon?" 

He snaps back into reality, his eyes focusing on what was once a bright blue sky, now overcast with gray clouds, leaving the city to be shadowed by the rainy weather. He turns around, making sure to keep his composure; not letting his wandering thoughts display on his face. It was Jisoo, Y/N's assistant. She bowed, flattening down her navy blue skirt. 

"Your phone has been going off, sir. Y/N left me a message to let you know she was trying to get in touch with you." 

He nodded, then waved her off. She closes the door behind her, and Junmyeon rushes over to his desk, hurriedly picking up his phone. He opens up his text message inbox and clicks over your contact. 

hey, sehun let me know he's coming. did you know that? 

he also said we'd be meeting sooner than we planned. 2:30? 

see you soon, :) 

He sighs, letting his fingers roam through his hair. He brings his watch up again, 2:00. 

"Fuck you, Sehun." 

-

Junmyeon let everyone know that he'd most likely be back later, and to his approval, no one fought him on it. As he drove to the cafe, he thought about how you would have angrily combated him, probably stomping your feet as you whined about him being behind on his work. He missed having you in the office; and that was the main reason he asked you to meet him today. Sure, the station was well run on his watch, but he needed the stability for himself back. Which mainly came from you; keeping him on his toes and breathing down his back 24/7. 

He wouldn't lie to himself. He was nervous texting you. The two of you hadn't spoken that much, especially when he had issued for you to go on an extended leave. Sure, he had seen you at the crime scene and chatted, but there was an obvious piece of shit glued right by your side. It didn't feel the same. 

You didn't feel the same. 

He parked his car, running over his appearance in the rearview mirror. He looked beat, but that was mostly because he hadn't been sleeping well. He hated to admit it, but most of his nights consisted of thinking about Baekhyun. The chilling looks he gave him... the way he spoke to him like he was beneath him. Obviously, it didn't faze him in the slightest, he was used to seeing deadbeat criminals on an everyday basis. Not that he was a criminal, but, the aura he radiated was one of them, most precisely. The man was off. 

He wasn't like anyone he met before. 

But there was something that Junmyeon recognized. 

He could recognize it so well. It was like reading a book, the way Baekhyun was able to cover his emotions so delicately, so routinely. He did it himself. The mask of mystery was something he prided himself in, especially when it came to his own feelings towards you. He was able to contain his anger, fester it inside of him and let it diminish whenever he commanded it to. Except when it came to Baekhyun. 

"Get him out of your head." He sternly told himself. 

He was there to see you. Not Baekhyun. 

There wasn't any reason for him to think about your... boyfriend. Which- that was still getting some used to on Junmyeon's part. He didn't understand it, and couldn't accept it. The whole arrangement seemed too forced, even seemed too perfect. Two people who had the unfortunate burden of their significant others passing away. What a tragic way to tell people how you met. 

He stepped out of his car, locking it behind him as he ventured towards the cafe he had recommended. He pulled the collar of his jacket out, the same jacket that he adorned on you the night you both had gotten drinks. Junmyeon turned the corner, his Hermès black loafers clacking against the pavement. His sight lands on the back of his friend; Sehun. 

He stood outside the cafe, looking down at his phone. Junmyeon covers both sides of his mouth with his hands, yelling out his name. The younger man perks his head up, looking in the direction of his name being called. He immediately lets his shoulders drop, Junmyeon taking into account that his stress levels must be high. Once he's at arm's length, he pulls him into a tight hug. Sehun grabs onto him tightly, and Junmyeon has to question again just what this could be about. 

They pull apart, and he notices that his friend's eyes are puffy. 

"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying." 

Sehun looks away, patting his eyes with his hands. His chuckle sounds strained, 

"Yeah, yeah. Don't need to point it out." 

Junmyeon puts his hand on his shoulder, rubbing small circles into it. He feels tense. 

"It's okay. I'm here. We can talk about whatever you need to get off your chest, okay?" 

Sehun looks at him, his eyes showing desperation. 

"Once Y/N gets here. That's when I'll feel okay." 

This raises flags in Junmyeon's head. 

"Is she okay? What the fuck do you mean by that?" 

Sehun seems struck with confusion, then he widens his eyes and shakes his head. 

"N-No! I didn't mean anything was wrong with her. She's fine. She's alive." 

 "Why the hell would she not be?" He spits back. 

The raven haired boy starts to speak, but a plop of rain suddenly drifts down from the sky, hitting him on the forehead. He looks up, and just like he flipped a switch, a downpour of rain spills down on them. They both start to cover their heads with their hands, and Junmyeon has to push their wet bodies inside the shop. He lets a breath of relief out as the small cafe warms up his bones. He eyes Sehun carefully, following behind him as he picks out a table in the back corner. They take a seat, being immediately approached by a waiter. 

"I'll take an Americano," Junmyeon smiles at the young teen before he brings his attention to Sehun, "He'll take a black coffee-" 

"N-no. Do you have anything sweet? Like uh... do you have boba?" 

The waitress laughs nervously. 

"We're a coffee shop. I can get you a Mocha. They're pretty sweet to begin with-" 

Sehun nods, bringing his hand up to wave her off. 

"Yeah. That. Whatever." 

She gives him a disappointed frown as she walks off. Junmyeon scrunches his eyebrows together and extends his hands out in an 'What the fuck was that?' manner. 

Sehun looks frantic, his words coming out so fast that Junmyeon has to ask him to slow down.

"Listen- I'm just really freaked right now, okay? I really have to be honest with how I'm feeling about some things and you're the person I know will fix them." 

"Well that really puts more on my plate. I really want to know what you're talking about though. How about you stop running around in circles and just spit it out?" 

The other takes a deep breath, but before he could let loose what was bothering him, his eyes face towards the cafe entrance. Junmyeon continues to stare at him, his mouth left open with his question still dangling in the air. Sehun starts to fumble on his words, his fingers tapping anxiously on the table, and that was when Junmyeon took it as his sign to turn around. But before he could, Sehun grabbed his hand and yanked him back. 

"Don't. Look." He says dangerously low. 

"Junmyeon!" 

He smiles suddenly without thinking, your voice immediately calming his anxious thoughts. He watches as Sehun's face pales, and his hold on his hand is let go. Junmyeon finally turns around to wave at you, a smile smeared on his face- but the sudden excitement to see you is shadowed by the person with his hand around your waist. 

"Jun! Good to see you again!" 

Baekhyun smiles devilishly at Junmyeon as he stops the both of them in front of the table. He wore a black baggy long sleeved shirt, joined with light washed denim pants. A gold chain dangled from his neck, bright against his pale collarbones. He pushed his Ray Bans out of his eyes, pushing back his shabby dyed white hair. He looks at Sehun, cocking his head to the side and feigning fake astonishment as he points at the troubled man. 

"Sehun! It's been so long since I've seen you. Y/N here said you wanted to talk about something important. And, well, since I'm her boyfriend and such a close friend with you- I knew that I had to come with. Do you mind if you sit next to Junmyeon? I just like to be next to her." 

Baekhyun's eyes seemingly pierce through Sehun's shocked demeanor, his jaw left unhinged as the question lingers amongst them. When nothing is said, Junmyeon watches as Baekhyun tilts his head up quickly and uses his eyes to look at the empty seat next to himself. It was almost comical watching Sehun rush out of his chair and accompany Junmyeon on his side of the table. 

You... well you looked like yourself. From what Sehun had framed earlier, Junmyeon was thinking the absolute worst. Maybe you got into an accident, or you tripped and broke a bone. But here you were; bare faced, flushed cheeks and twinkling eyes. You looked fine. 

He watches as Baekhyun pulls out the seat for you, kissing your head as you smile back at him. He adjusts himself on the chair, bringing his hands onto the table rather loudly, the impact of his interlaced fingers thudding against it. He looks between Sehun and himself before he squints and lets a chuckle out. 

"I think I know what this is about." He says matter-of-factly.  

You don't say a word, Junmyeon notes. You instead look down at your lap, your lips still formed into a smile. In return for Baekhyun announcing his educated guess, Junmyeon leans in his chair and tilts back so the two back pegs are only on the floor. He brings a finger to his mouth and speaks diligently. 

"I was only aware that Y/N would be coming. She never mentioned you coming, Baekhyun." 

He watches as Baekhyun's expression doesn't falter, simply adjusts to the tone that Junmyeon laced with venom. He shifts his body to face him, using his right arm to drape around your shoulders, squeezing it. You're wearing a shirt that was unfamiliar to him, it was too baggy on your frame. He guessed it belonged to the unnerving cunt that sat across from him. 

"Well like I stated before, Jun. I'm close friends with Oh Sehun. Right?" Baekhyun looks at Sehun, and the boy nods, not looking back at him. Junmyeon studies his body language; it was like he was a cornered animal, unable to escape. And Baekhyun was the hungry predator ready to pounce on him. 

Junmyeon nods at this. 

"Okay. So what are we here to talk about Sehun?" He places his hand on Sehun's shoulder, taken back when the other jumps a little. 

"I- I. I actually forgot." 

You reach forward across the table, your palm open in front of Sehun. 

"Sehun, you could tell us anything. I'm here for you. You know that." 

Sehun hesitatingly brings his own hand on the table, his fingers inches from yours, but he suddenly pulls back, closing it into a fist. 

"I know, Y/N." He says weakly. 

You look at Junmyeon pleadingly, so he rests his chair back normally on the ground. He starts to pat Sehun's back, then rubs it gently.  

"She's right. You could tell us what's on your mind. You did say it was important." 

He looks up, only to stare directly at Baekhyun. The two of them don't exchange any words- but Junmyeon takes into account how your boyfriend licks his lips and starts to smile. 

What the fuck is happening? And why can't Sehun talk about what is obviously bothering him?

"I think you're nervous to talk about this in front of someone who wasn't invited," Junmyeon states blankly, and you give him a sad look before he continues, "But regardless. He's here, and he said that you're close as well. You agreed to it. Are you lying?" 

Sehun shakes his head quickly. Junmyeon knows he's lying. But he doesn't show the discernment that he's feeling inside, and can't give Baekhyun any satisfaction that he's slipping up in his own emotions. They already had one of them crumbling right in front of their eyes. Before Sehun could say anything else, Baekhyun takes the lead. 

"I know what it is." 

You look at him confused. 

"You do, Baek?" 

Junmyeon sneers at that. But as much as that bothered him, his interest was settled on what Baekhyun would say next. He watched as Baekhyun nodded very surely, tapping his fingers to the rhythm of the song that was playing in the cafe. 

"Sehun has been having suicidal thoughts. I would know. He called me and told me about it." 

And for once, Junmyeon was stunned. He was not expecting Baekhyun to say that, but even moreso, it seemed like Sehun didn't either. He gapes, spreading his hands out on the table, looking in a flurry between the three people seated with him at the table. The police officer watches as a bead of sweat travels down the side of his forehead, his lips beginning to tremble. 

Baekhyun clears his throat, then leaned back into his chair, his arms folding behind his neck. 

"Yeah. He told me he was contemplating suicide. He was too nervous to talk about it since he's never had those emotions before, but I get it. It's not easy to talk about wanting to slice your wrists when so many people have died recently," He eyes the paper menu on the right side of him, picking it up gingerly, 

"But I insisted that he talk about it. Therapists are too expensive these days. I let him know that I'm his friend. He could trust me, you know? But he wanted to see you guys today so... I guess he built up enough confidence to say the truth. Right, Sehun? The truth?" 

No one says anything. They stay silent until the waitress delivers the men's drinks, then quickly draws down your order and Baekhyun's. Junmyeon studies him, how he smiled at the young girl; how he was able to say such obscene things and happily order his coffee like normal. He couldn't understand him, couldn't dissect him at all. He was stronger than he looked but Junmyeon knew that he could crack him. 

It wasn't like he didn't believe what he said, but if Sehun was feeling like that, truly, he knew that he could talk to his friend in private. This wasn't something that the younger would do, not at all. There had to be something else that was itching his brain, but he was obviously too scared to speak about it in front of Baekhyun. 

He picks up his Americano, taking a small sip. 

"How do you know Sehun, Baekhyun?" 

You speak this time, which surprised Junmyeon. 

"Baekhyun told me that they go way back. They used to do business together." 

Junmyeon looks at Sehun, forming a tight knit line. 

"Is that so?" 

"We might have hung out a couple times." He mumbles out before he drinks his mocha. 

He returned his sight to Baekhyun, who shrugged as his smile got wider. 

"What can I say? I'm a people person. Everyone likes me." 

"Even Chanyeol?" 

Baekhyun's eyes dim. He leans into the table, the smile vanishing,

"Even Chanyeol, yes." 

Junmyeon starts to smile this time. 

"You know it's funny. Chanyeol just got into a fight a couple weeks back. Did you know about that? Looks pretty awful if I say so myself." 

You look at your boyfriend in a dazed state, obviously not following the tension that was brewing.

"You didn't say anything about that. But Jun," You purse your lips together, "What does that have to do with anything? We're here for Sehun." 

He looks off to the interior decorating the cafe, little potted plants hanging from the ceiling, strings of lights glowing brightly against the tan walls. 

"Just making small talk. You don't have to get defensive, Y/N." 

You push your tongue into the side of your cheek, looking back down at your lap. 

"I'm not getting defensive. I'm just saying if Sehun is feeling... suicidal, we should be conversating about that. Not about how the Deputy got into a fucking fight." 

"Well it's pretty fucking obvious that Sehun doesn't want to talk about it. Come on, Y/N. You know how to detect body language just as well as I do. It's because of him." 

He jabs his finger toward Baekhyun. The accused man flutters his eyelashes bashfully, resting his chin on both of his hands. 

"Me? What did I do?" He says tauntingly. 

Junmyeon flared his nostrils, the familiar heat rising in his chest like the night he flung your underwear around his face. He wanted to slam him against the wall, yell in his face and realize that he was no match against Junmyeon's strength. He settles on slamming his fists on the table, spilling his drink, the hot liquid traveling on his skin. It burned, but it didn't compare to the fire that was ignited inside him now. 

"You know exactly what I'm getting at here, Byun. You scare Sehun fucking shitless, and for whatever reason he can't even maintain eye contact with you. You're nothing but a weak joke. You cascade this macho persona, but I see right through it. You're nothing but an empty shell that draws on masks and puts it on to fit every single situation. I don't fucking like you."

He lets out an aggravated tsk as he finishes, looking down at the table. He knew he showed too much to Baekhyun, gave him too much information just by playing into his game. He knew now that he was easily triggered by his obliviousness. He wanted to slap himself in the face. 

"Junmyeon. Can I talk to you outside?" 

He looks up to meet your distressed state, and he nods in a flash, standing up and following you outside the cafe. Before you got up, you whispered something in Baekhyun's ear that made his facial features twitch. His eyelids drooped downwards, but he regained his once upbeat personality and laid a kiss on your cheek. He could feel Baekhyun's stare burning holes in the back of his head, but at this moment, Junmyeon didn't care. 

He listened to the small chime of the bell go off as the door closed behind them, then turned to face you. The rain beat down on your head, your once dry hair dampened by the merciless weather. He has to break the silence, you hadn't spoken a single word and continued your stare directly into his soul. 

"What? What do you want from me?" He spats out. 

Your bottom lip juts out, your eyes furiously blinking away the rain. 

"Why are you acting like this?" 

He stands still, letting the rain blur his vision of you. He forms his hands into fists. 

"Like what? Like a normal human being? I don't know you anymore, Y/N. You've changed."

You scoff at that, shifting your weight on your right leg. You bring up your hand and shake it angrily. "Me? I'm the same as I've ever been. You're the one who changed," You cross your arms over your chest, "You don't talk to me anymore. You stopped reaching out, you- you fucking made me leave work! You left me alone after Kyungsoo died, and you expect me to be my bubbly happy go-lucky self? Fuck you." 

You shove him, and when he doesn't move from the impact of your soft blow, you strike him again on the chest. He doesn't change his position, just looks down at you while you pound your fists against his body, watching as you begin to cry. It broke his heart. Seeing you like this. The worst part for Junmyeon was knowing that he couldn't be the one to fix this for you, there would never be the same connection between the both of you unless Baekhyun was out of the equation. 

The most sickening thought to Junmyeon was knowing that you would never leave Baekhyun.

Not for Sehun. 

Not for Kyungsoo. 

Not even him. 

He sighs as he stops your actions in a heartbeat, grabbing your arms mid air. You hiccup as you look back up at him, your eyes filled with tears. Your eyes that stole his heart were nothing but a black hole now, and even if Junmyeon wanted to pull you back out, you wouldn't have accepted his hand. He fights his own sob trying to erupt from his throat, putting on a smile for you. You shake your head, your pink lips forming to say something. But you didn't.

"Are you cold?" He mutters out brokenly. 

You scrunch your face up, your cheeks, a beautiful shade of pink. Your eyes shut closer together as you bite your lip to contain your whines, and shake your head. 

"I... I've got thick skin." 

He licks his lips, looking at the stained ground. He releases his grip on you, letting his arms fall back to his sides. "You should head back inside." 

You shake your head more violently now, punching his arms. 

"You're supposed to give me your jacket, you fucking prick." 

It sounded desperate. Like you were hoping that the connection you had could somehow be fused back together with something as pathetic as a jacket. You continue to hit him, speaking in choked sobs, repeating for him to give you his jacket. But he doesn't listen anymore. He just stares at you, watching how devastatingly broken you were. 

"That's enough, Y/N." 

"No. You need me just as much as I need you." You snap back. 

He shakes his head at you. He grabs the handle of the cafe door, turning his back on you. 

"I don't need you at all. Don't bother coming back to work." 

You start to scream a string of obscenities at him, but he silences the hurtful spikes you were throwing at him. He let the door close behind him, watching as some of the people inside gave him incredulous looks, the waitress peering outside while covering her mouth. He fashioned the cuffs of his jacket so they didn't look so disheveled, then cleared his throat as he approached the table in the corner. 

Baekhyun doesn't say a word, but Junmyeon knows that he's holding back some type of resentment. The man's face distorted into pure anger, his hold on the coffee mug making his knuckles a bright red. Sehun huddled into his seat, not daring to look up at Junmyeon. He sighs at that, lazily looking between the two. He clicks his tongue, bringing his now cold drink up to his lips, gulping it down completely. 

Once he finished, he placed it back gently on the table. He pulled out his wallet and pulled a few stray bills, confidently placing it on the table. 

"I think that should cover everyone here. Sehun, are you coming?" 

Baekhyun stands up, inching towards Junmyeon and stopping until he was only inches away from his face. His head bobs lightly, his tongue tracing his lips before he spoke. 

"Sehun and I are going to spend some time together. Is that alright with you?" 

Junmyeon is tired at this point. He's had enough of Baekhyun. Of you. So he chuckles darkly, making Baekhyun look at him with a quizzical expression. 

"Do whatever the fuck you want. You might want to give Y/N a ride back to her house though. She's completely drenched. You should warm him up, make sure she doesn't catch a cold." 

He turns his feet in the direction he came from, but Baekhyun's hand grabs his shoulder. 

Junmyeon doesn't bother looking back, just stands in place as he looks out the window. 

"I'll fuck her good for you." 

And that was enough for him. He had it. 

Junmyeon laughed, closing his eyes as he turned around slowly. He ducks his head down, bringing it up slightly so Baekhyun would only see his eyes. He smirked at him, opening his mouth to probably spit out some other lewd details, but Junmyeon doesn't give him the chance. He brings his fist to connect with Baekhyun's jaw, watching as the smaller man topples back on the table, his hands gripping onto the edges of it. Screams begin to echo in the once quiet shop, and Junmyeon can hear people scrambling out of the chairs, the squeaks of shoes running right out the door. 

The waitress does nothing but look onto the fight unfold behind the counter, her phone shaking in her grasp as she tries to unlock it. Baekhyun spits on the floor, blood painting the washed out gray flooring. He looks back up, and Junmyeon hesitates as he watches Baekhyun's eyes turn into something almost demonic, his white teeth stained with the ruby color, smiling right at him. It almost felt like he wanted this to happen; but Junmyeon doesn't want to miss the opportunity to beat him to a pulp. 

Baekhyun lands a pretty good punch to his chin, making Junmyeon twist his neck to the left. He shakes it off quickly, running back at him and grabbing him by his shirt, pushing him against the wall. He doesn't stop his fist from hitting his face, not giving him any mercy, just enjoying seeing the blood erupt from his mouth. It wasn't until Sehun pulled him off that he let him go. Baekhyun slides down the wall, his hands weakly spread on the floor, the smile on his face never leaving. 

He wheezes, and Junmyeon just stares as Sehun restrains his arms behind his back, telling him, "It's okay, It's okay." He's in a delirious state now, looking down at his own shirt, the vermillion stains looking right back up at him. He watches as you somehow rush to Baekhyun's aid, looking at him and screaming. But it's all just static in his head. He pushes Sehun off of him, grunting as he winds his shoulder back. He stumbles as he walks away from the gore fest he created, cracking his knuckles. 

"Sir! You cannot leave this premise, I already called the cops!" 

The waitress was crying, her phone raised to her ear as she pointed at him. Junmyeon snickers, looking at her frazzled state. He continues to walk towards the door, stopping as he looks back at her, offering her a genuine side smile. 

"I am the police. Go get him some napkins. He'll be fine." 

He opens the door, looking up at the sky, watching the rain pour down. He smacks his lips together, then without a thought in his head, he takes off his jacket. He looks back inside, Sehun looking back at him with shock, and tosses it on one of the tables. 

"Give it to Baekhyun. He needs it more than me." 

Baekhyun's POV 

"Get in the fucking car, Sehun." 

Baekhyun didn't know what was exactly going to transpire today, but it sure as fuck wasn't this. He sits himself in his car, immediately looking at his face in the mirror. His nose was bleeding, one of his eyes was turning completely red- to which Baekhyun scoffed. 

He looked down at his hand, the faint color of crimson staining it. Usually this would be fine, but in this scenario he was disgusted. There should never be a moment where he, Baekhyun, would be the one spitting up blood. He listens to the back passanger's door close harshly, and he looks at a spooked Sehun staring back at him. He's stark white, his legs crossed over one another, his body visibly shaking. 

He licks his lips as he looks away, gripping the steering wheel. 

"Did you know he was going to do that?" He says sourly. 

Sehun shook his head, looking outside the window. 

"No. I've never seen him like that before." 

Baekhyun punches the wheel then, making Sehun audibly gasp. He turned around in a flash, teeth gritting together, aiming his next words towards the young boy. 

"I'm going to take Y/N home, and if you-" He jabs his finger in the other's chest, "say a single thing? I'll make sure you regret it. You got me?" 

He nods, tears brimming his eyes already. Baekhyun chuckles at that, pulling his hand away from him and sitting back in his seat completely. He clears his throat, blood still spewing from his lips. He grimaces, looking outside his own window this time, watching you walk up to his side with more napkins. 

You tap the window, and Baekhyun nimbly pushes down the button to roll it down. You quickly shove the napkins towards his nose, you're forcing out too many words at once, making you stutter uncontrollably. 

"I- I did- I can't believe he did that. Are you o-okay?" You take sharp breaths in between each word, like it hurt to inhale. 

Baekhyun's heart swells at that, and he rests his hand over yours, stopping your frantic movements. He shakes his head and closes his eyes, trying to remain calm for you. He listens to your ragged breathing, then rests his gaze on yours. He smiles. 

"I'll be fine. Let me take you home-" 

"No. I- I have to talk to him." 

And why did you want to talk to him? Baekhyun wondered. He was only one short circuit away from blowing up, but he reminds himself that it's you, that's he talking to. He couldn't have you thinking he was the controlling boyfriend that he knows he is. Baekhyun would be the composed, innocent man in this situation. And God, it really fucking sucked being good. 

"If that's what you think you should do. Go for it." He narrows his eyes, watching as you didn't expect that response. You nod hestitangly, unsure of what to do with the remaining napkins in your hand. He shakes his head softly, taking them from you. 

"Make sure you text me when you get home then. I'll come over." He says in a whisper. 

You give him a sympathetic smile, "Of course." 

You give him a kiss on his cheek, to which Baekhyun makes sure to record in his memories to fond over later. You turn around, but Baekhyun reaches out his window and latches his grasp on your wrist. You look back confused, but he doesn't even need to say it to you now; something that he pleasantly enjoyed. 

"I- I love you." 

He tilts his head cheekily to the side, letting you go. 

"I love you too." 

He watched until you were only a speck in his vision, and then he grudgingly turned back around again, latching his fangs into Sehun. 

"Get in the front with me." 

Sehun shook his head. 

"I'm okay back here-" 

"Get up here." Baekhyun deadpans. 

So there they were, driving in Baekhyun's car, driving aimlessly. He hasn't said anything to the other, just kept quiet as he tapped his finger on the wheel, watching his windshield wipers dispose of the rain on the car. Sehun cleared his throat when they arrived at a red light, and Baekhyun flickered his eyes on him for a second, then continued to stare forward at the road.

"What?" He says in a sardonic tone. 

"Where are we going? I actually have some work I have to go over-" 

"Really? What is it about?" Baekhyun smirks, hitting the gas pedal. 

Sehun fiddles with his hands, "Just some um, you know. Burglary case." 

Baekhyun nods, his voice ringing in the silent car. 

"Man, I hate people like that. They could be so annoying, huh?" 

Sehun forces out a bitter laugh. 

"Y-yeah. They're... annoying." 

"Tell me Sehun. Because I'm really, really, into what you do for a living. How do you live with yourself when you know you have blood on your hands? Do you think you're better than me?" 

Silence. 

He turns a street, slowing down his speed in the empty neighborhood. He waits for him to say something, but just like he knew, Sehun didn't dare say a single syllable. He looks at the dim lit houses and apartments as he continues his drive, pointing at some and complimenting the exterior. He stops in front of one, moving his hand towards the Park shift. He faces Sehun now, observing how he stayed completely still, his shoulders hunched over, his face looking completely in his lap. Baekhyun snaps his fingers, making the other jump in his seat. 

"You see that house?" 

Sehun diverted his attention outside the window. It was an ugly house; seemingly abandoned from the looks of it. It was almost as if it was being held by strings, the paint chipping off the wood, the lawn a complete jungle. The roof was beaten in, some had already caved in, submitting itself over to the undeniable death. He looked back at Baekhyun, his eyebrow raised. 

"What about it?" 

Baekhyun winced, his eye throbbing in pain. He fixates on Sehun through his migraine. 

"It's beautiful." 

"Beautiful? I don't see how-" 

He slaps his face then, immediately grabbing his cheek to look back at him. 

"Isn't it beautiful seeing things struggle to stay alive? No matter how broken they are. They still manage to live. And do you know why us, as people, no matter how battered and bruised we get, we still get up?" 

Sehun shook his head in Baekhyun's hand. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, digging his fingernails into his skin. "Because they think they have purpose. And where does purpose come from? It comes from the undeniable feeling that something or someone created you- that some being put you in existence because they believed you had something to grace this fucked up reality." 

He lets go of Sehun's face, shoving him against the window. He unbuckles his seatbelt, crawling towards his body and pushing his head on the window. He savors seeing Sehun's breath clouding on the clear glass, his breathing short with each one he took. He locks his fingers in his hair, twisting and pulling it, slamming his face into the glass harder. 

"But do you want to know the one thing that people don't know?" 

He snickers to himself as he grins. 

"I am the person who decides people's purposes. Me." 

Sehun pushes him off, saliva dripping down his mouth, his eyes in a crazed state. Baekhyun raises his hands in the air as if he'd been caught, then relaxes as he leans against his seat. 

"So, Sehun. Can you answer my question?" 

Sehun grips the leather seat, tears staining his cheeks. 

"What question?" He lashes out. 

"Do you think you're better than me?" 

"I- I don't know. Why does this matter, why me?" He spews angrily. 

Baekhyun sighs, lazily draping his seatbelt on himself. He resumes his quaint car drive, not answering Sehun's question. He wracked his mind about this for a while; people who knew they were going to die not cooperating with their killer. It never made sense, Baekhyun enjoyed the manipulative mind games he would play with people, much like a kid playing with their food. Deciding which portion of their meal would enter their mouths... which portion would end up unscathed. If you were in the palm of a sadistic killer, would you rather play with him or fight him? 

The choice was fairly obvious. 

But obviously not. 

The gloomy skies turned a shade of purple and black, the moon resurfacing from its slumber. Baekhyun didn't say anything as he parked in front of the apartment building he frequented often. He pushed back the pain that screamed at him, lifting his hand to grab his car keys. Sehun stayed put, glancing up towards the building. When he didn't react, Baekhyun waved his key in the air questiongly at him. 

"You're not excited to be here?" 

"Why would I be?" 

"Because now you won't be alone with me." 

Sehun uttered underneath his breath, "I'm not talking to him anymore." 

Baekhyun jutted his bottom lip out, masking a look of concern. 

"Not best friends with your best friend anymore? Wonder why." 

"Like you fucking care." 

Baekhyun shook his head, reaching over to the glove box. He opened it up, pulling the sharp object out. He grazed his indent finger over the gray blade, watching how prettily it shined in the darkness. Sehun held his breath, watching Baekhyun admire his toy. Baekhyun smiled brightly, his cheeks warming up. 

"I'm offended by that. I care about my friends. And you're my friend." 

Something in the air changed when Baekhyun stated that; and he took into account how Sehun's once scared shitless exterior softened. Obviously something happened between him and Chanyeol, it wasn't like he necessarily cared about what it was about, but if it could make this more entertaining for him, he'll use it. 

"Get out. If you make a run for it, I'll kill you." 

Baekhyun stood behind Sehun as he entered the apartment building, knife embedded in his lower back. An awkward ride in the elevator was fun for Baekhyun, enjoying how Sehun squirmed in discomfort. He felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket, and without his eyes leaving Sehun's back, he pulled it out. He squinted from the bright light coming from his phone, but that soon was replaced with a heartwarming grin. 

i made it home. let me know when you're coming over. i'll order take out. :) love you. 

He shoved it back into his pocket as the elevator notified them they arrived. He couldn't wait to come back home to you, being able to be overwhelmed with your scent, your body, your touch. He almost stumbled in his step while thinking about it, but he covered it up by pushing Sehun ahead of him, towards Chanyeol's door. 

He brushed some hair out of his eyes, gazing at Sehun's closed fist knocking on the door of his life-long friend. He felt his heart race faster as Chanyeol opened the door in shock, wearing only a robe, his hair in complete disarray. Baekhyun brought his free hand up, waving cutely in his direction. 

"We haven't had a guy's night in a while." 

Chanyeol had let them in, stubbornly, but still- let them in. Which was his biggest mistake in his life so far. Baekhyun had grabbed Sehun by his collar and led him towards the couch. He threw him down roughly, flipping the knife in his hand in the air before jokingly pretending to stab him. 

"Quit it, Baek." Chanyeol shouted at him, taking his place on a chair beside the glass table. 

Baekhyun giggled to himself, flashing the knife at Chanyeol. He grunted as he pushed the tip of the blade away, giving a snarling look. Crossing his arms, Chanyeol pierced his gaze at Sehun, the younger childishly looking away. He snorted at that, then watched as Baekhyun sat in his own chair. 

Chanyeol quipped, "What the fuck happened to you? You almost look as bad as me." 

"Your friend. Junmyeon." Baekhyun grunted out. 

Chanyeol widens his eyes. Then erupts in boisterous laughter, hand clapping included. The two men aren't amused by it in the slightest, and after a couple more seconds of his annoying noise, he dwindles down, fully taking in the tension filled air. He licks his lips and brings his attention back to Baekhyun, but more importantly the blade that was adorned in his grip. 

"What's the knife for, huh?" Chanyeol barks at him. He was nervous, Baekhyun could tell. 

So he shimmies into his seat, ready to watch the show unfold in front of his very eyes; perfectly orchestrated by him. "I thought we'd play a game." 

Sehun sits up in his seat, broadcasting for the first time a sense of confidence. 

"A game?" 

Baekhyun nods sweetly. 

"A game. Rules are that you have to play. If you don't- well you know." He says in a singsong voice. 

He watches Chanyeol stretch out his arms, sighing. He flashes a grim look towards Sehun. 

"Thought you didn't want to see me anymore. Why'd you come?" 

"Yeah, like I volunteered to be held at knife point by Baekhyun. I didn't want to come here." 

Baekhyun stifles back laughter, crossing his legs together as he listens to the argument stirring up. He looked down at his knife; the same knife he used on Mina. If he squinted hard enough, he could still see the faint blood on the pristine gift Chanyeol gave him. 

"Well I don't know, this could be an ambush for all I know. You and your stupid fucking choices that you make. You never learn, do you?" Chanyeol's veins popped out of his neck as he spoke to Sehun. 

Sehun rolled his eyes, looking at Baekhyun. 

"What do we have to do?" 

"What, so you're ignoring me now? Prick." Chanyeol spits. 

Baekhyun stands, interjecting as he raises his hands in the air. 

"Now now. Let's not get too excited to play the game. Let me explain the rules, okay guys?" 

They don't say anything so Baekhyun takes it that they're interested. He loved his friends. 

"So, the whole premise is kind of silly," He chuckles as he walks over to the couch, wrapping his arm around Sehun's shoulders, "Basically, the two of you spill your guts about every horrible thing you've done for me. The one who takes responsibility wins. Pretty easy, right?"

Sehun puckers his lips and begins to open his mouth, but Baekhyun shushes him, grazing the knife on his cheek. "I'm not finished." 

"The one who's too much of a self centered cunt, dies. By who? You're wondering? Well," He stands up, dragging the knife on the glass table, making the men in the room groan from the noise, "By the one who wins. I think it's pretty fair." 

Chanyeol gives him the most stomach-turning frown, his lips trembling in distraught. 

"No fucking way." 

Baekhyun walks behind Chanyeol's chair, his hand bringing the knife to his neck. He inches towards the other's ear, his lips grazing his skin ever so slightly. 

"Aren't we friends, Channie? Best friends, right?" 

His friend's hand grips the chair's arm furiously, "Us being friends doesn't have anything to do with this, Baekhyun." 

"Oh, but I think it does. You know why it does, Chanyeol? Because I have something on you. And if I tell the entire world what Park Chanyeol did- well, that wouldn't end well for you, right? But I'm your friend, so I'll give you a chance to not ruin your perfect cookie cutter reputation." 

He slices Chanyeol's skin lightly, looking down to see the small beads of blood sprout from his neck. He immediately hushes his deep rooted snarls, his body settling into the situation that was being unfolded. Sehun gapes, but he slowly closes his own mouth, eyebrows furrowed together as he leans out of his seat. 

Baekhyun smiles. "Okay then. Who wants to be honest?" 

He sits back down in his chair. Of course, he had something up his sleeve. He slipped his phone out of his pocket, cleverly hiding it from view underneath his thigh. He rummaged through his miscellaneous apps, until he finally clicked on Voice Memos. And finally, the game would actually begin. 

Sehun starts it off, which was little to no surprise to Baekhyun. He was the weaker one out of all of them after all. 

"I- I disposed of the body of Baekhyun's girlfriend. I didn't like doing it though. I- I still have nightmares about it." 

Baekhyun gives a light hearted clap, to which Sehun glares. He looks towards Chanyeol, and Baekhyun copies. He looks tired, his arms hanging off the arms of the chair, his eyes fixated on the ground. 

"Chanyeol? What about you? What have you done?" Baekhyun questions. 

Chanyeol licks his lips, pulled out of the trance he put himself in. 

"I... I haven't done anything." 

God, was he an idiot. He knew his friend was prideful, but did he really have to be when it came to his own life? He sighs, shaking his head. 

"No... I don't think that's right. Come on, spill your guts. We don't judge here!" 

His cheerfulness does nothing to the bland environment. Chanyeol covers his face with both of his hands, something of a sob tumbling from his throat. Baekhyun looks at Sehun, giving him a look that reads, "Can you believe this guy?" 

"I didn't do anything. I haven't." Chanyeol repeats. 

Sehun stands up, anger fusing into his features. 

"I should have known you wouldn't fess up to anything. You're just like your fucking dad." 

Baekhyun gasps, placing his hands over his mouth. He tries to fight off the incoming laughter from his chest, but it spills over maniacally. Of course, he knew Chanyeol's trouble with his own father, I mean he issued him to kill him for Christ's sake. But compared to Baekhyun, Chanyeol's sanity when it came to his dad was utterly gone. He knew not to talk about it; only when it mattered, when it was a reminder. Obviously Sehun didn't know about this. So Baekhyun continued his fit of giggles, his eyes latching onto Chanyeol's furious state. 

"You know, I let it go earlier. I mean, you didn't even give me the chance to say anything before you left, you fucking asshole. But you- you don't know anything about my fucking father. He was a living fucking nightmare, he cheated, he lied, he hit me. I am nothing, like him," Chanyeol kicks his chair back, his body moving faster than he could have been thinking, stopping as he stands in Sehun's face, "So shut the fuck up if you know what's good for you." 

Sehun clenches his fists, mustering up a confident face, but failing horribly. 

"I killed Kyungsoo. I am the person who fucking helped. I disposed of a body. Come on, Chanyeol. Fucking take ownership. Don't fucking die because your pride!" 

With a gurgled yell, Chanyeol punches Sehun in the face, his own face bright red with anger. Sehun fights back, grabbing Chanyeol by his shoulders and shoving him into the glass table, shards gliding on the hardwood floor, pieces stopping at Baekhyun's shoes. Baekhyun's adrenaline shoots up, his already widened eyes stretching out even more, his smile so big it's beginning to hurt. He picks up a shard of glass, flipping it around in his hand as he watches Sehun plummeting his fist into Chanyeol's face. 

He stands up, walking behind Sehun and seeing his friend's face go in and out of consciousness. His lip is busted, blood is sprayed on his chin and exposed chest, his eyes are in a dazed, frenzied state. Sehun freezes his movements, taking a deep breath in before he pulls Chanyeol up, looking him straight in the eyes. 

"Chanyeol. Please, say something." 

He spits blood on the younger's face, yet Sehun stays stoic. He whispers this time, 

"Choose me. Choose to live." 

Baekhyun huffs annoyed, giving Sehun's ribs a hard kick, watching him cripple up and fall on the ground. He stands over Chanyeol now, both of his feet on either side of him, crouches down and smacks his lips together.

"What did you end up doing yourself, huh, Yeol?" He brushes some of Chanyeol's dark locks off his forehead, gagging as he touches some of the blood that was painted into his skin. 

Chanyeol's voice is brittle as he speaks, "P-please. Help." 

The words came out weakly, each syllable too painful for him to escape from his mouth. Baekhyun ponders for a moment, then nods his head. He picks up his battered friend, sitting him up and dragging him so he leans on the chair he had kicked back moments prior. He slaps him a little, trying to keep him conscious. When he finally lets up and keeps his eyes open, Baekhyun waves the knife in his face gleefully. 

"You want me to help you, right?" 

Chanyeol nods slowly, his eyes crossing repeatedly, trying to focus on him. Baekhyun let's a small, "uh-huh," out, then walked towards Sehun. He repeats his action, dragging his body and stopping to drop him right in front of Chanyeol's feet. He digs his foot into Sehun's neck, putting pressure steadily, watching him struggle to push him off. Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol with a straight face, eyes dark. 

"What do you want me to do, Chanyeol?" 

Chanyeol, becoming more and more aware of what's happening, gurgles on his own blood, sputtering out drops of the red on Sehun's face. He shakes his hands, getting on his knees and trying to remove Baekhyun's foot from the other's throat. Baekhyun sneers at that, disappointment settling into his features. He keeps his foot on the other's throat and takes a step in Chanyeol's direction, bringing the knife to the side of his neck. 

"You can't save him. But you want to know what you can do?" Baekhyun lashes out in anger. 

Chanyeol shakes, looking up defeated. 

"W-what?" He says brokenly. 

Baekhyun removes the knife from his throat, then points his finger and motions for Chanyeol to get on top of Sehun. It takes him a moment to register what he's asking, but nonetheless, he does it. And Baekhyun feels almost a little bit of pity for him; but it's quickly erased when he hears Sehun wheeze against his shoe. He takes his foot off of him, crouching behind Chanyeol, placing his hands on his shoulders, leaning his head against the crook of his neck as he peered down at Sehun. 

"What do you want to say, Sehun?" Baekhyun asks. 

There's fear in his eyes, and the all knowing feeling that his last words were coming soon. He knew the look all too well, loved seeing it. But in this moment, it felt different. Rather than the impending speech of love being tarnished, a future of marriage memorized and said endless amounts of times to potential lovers, this was Sehun. Sehun, who played the game right, Sehun who didn't let pride wash over him. It made Baekhyun feel... like a God. He was the one who wrote the script, who decided to change the rules if it didn't seem fit to his liking, he was- He Is- God. 

"The answer- to your question." Sehun says shakily. 

Baekhyun shapes his mouth into an, "O '' shape, nodding his head and biting his lip eagerly. 

"Yes? And what is that?" 

Sehun looks directly at Chanyeol as he speaks, 

"I'm not better than you." 

Baekhyun hears Chanyeol's voice hitch, his body trembling. Sehun continues. 

"You win. You'll always win, Baekhyun." 

"Exactly. Now, Chanyeol," Baekhyun slithers his hand down to Chanyeol's, placing the knife in his hand, "I'm going to give you something that you've always wanted." 

Chanyeol replies in a monotone voice, "Which is?" 

"To kill and rid of the obstacle in your life. I won't do it for you this time. Think of it as a gift." 

He looks as Chanyeol slowly but surely wraps each finger around the hilt of the knife, until it is in his grasp most surely. Baekhyun gingerly brings his hand on Chanyeol's arm, pushing it towards Sehun's chest. He lets go once the blade is inches from Sehun's own flesh, pausing to watch what his friend would do next. 

Sehun sobs, "We can still do it. We can still kill him, Chanyeol." 

"Is that right, Chanyeol? You can still kill me? Well look, I'm right here. Do it." Baekhyun lets the last words drip with curiosity. 

Chanyeol doesn't make any movements. He stays on top of Sehun, knife remaining inches from his chest. His troubled breathing is the only sound in the apartment, only until he speaks with the utmost confidence. 

"I... I can be loyal to something as small as a best friend, Sehun." 

Sehun's eyes glimmered with hope then, Baekhyun almost faltering in his own confidence. 

"Yes- Yes, Chanyeol! I knew you would choose me-" 

And Chanyeol followed his words as he plummeted the knife into his friend. 

"Chan...chanyeol?" 

Sehun's mouth was left agape as he looked down shakily at the knife sticking out of his chest, Chanyeol's body hunched over Sehun's in a ghostly manner. Baekhyun let out a nervous chuckle, putting a hand over his heart, closing his eyes in relief. He doubted- for a second, that Chanyeol would be persuaded by the meaningless words Sehun spouted out. But Baekhyun knew. 

"I knew you would choose me." Baekhyun says sarcastically, mimicking Sehun. 

Chanyeol says nothing as he takes the knife out of Sehun, throwing it away from his sight. He picked up the limp body now, his hand moving behind Sehun's head, pushing it up, shaking it. 

"Sehun? Sehun, please. I- I didn't do it. I didn't-" 

A string of sobs continued after, and Baekhyun walked quietly to retrieve his weapon, cleaning off the blood with his already ruined shirt. He made his way back to Chanyeol, who was attempting to revive Sehun's dead body, chest heaving as snot shot from his nose, his tears cascading on the corpse's face. Baekhyun snaps his finger, earning a devastated and desperate look from Chanyeol. 

"And where's my thank you for saving your ass?" Baekhyun crossed his arms together. 

Chanyeol blinked, his face morphing into one of shock. 

"Thank You? What the fuck do I have to thank you for? You killed my-" 

Baekhyun stamps his foot as he yells, 

"You! You killed him, Chanyeol. Not me. Maybe I should have let Sehun kill you; you still can't play the game fucking right. Piece of shit. You can't even say thank you for the gift I gave you, some fucking stability in your life, jeez. Also," He snakes out his phone from his pocket, waving it in the air, then clicking the button to end the voice memo, "I have it all recorded. I'll just keep it as a reminder for you." 

Chanyeol grips Sehun's body closer to his chest. His left eye was swollen shut now, the blood dried on his face and chest. Baekhyun didn't think Chanyeol looked any better than right now. So he sticks his phone back in his back pocket, slipping the knife in the other. He walks over to the door, but Chanyeol stops him with one last pleading question. 

"Baekhyun. Why... why didn't you kill me?" 

Baekhyun stills. He looks over his shoulder, smiling. 

"Because. You're my friend." 

"Goodbye, Chanyeol." 

And as he closed the door behind him, he listened to Chanyeol unleash a blood curdling scream. He relished in it, humming a tune to himself as he walked down the hallway. He brought his phone out as he entered the elevator. He typed happily, his thoughts finally only becoming about you. 

on my way back. i missed you so much. i'm so happy. :)

[pangeasoftware]

every thought I can put together about my life right now

im pilled out right now over a back injury. i'm 26 years old. i've seen myself become a progressively worse and more wanton person over the last year and it's definitely kicked into high gear the last 6 months. any semblance of routine has left my life, i'm off my meds because they were making me have psychotic delusions about how the west is trying to trigger the biblical apocalypse eventually culminating in israel invading gaza & the west bank & building the third temple in 2025, 77 years after the founding of the israeli state etc. etc. (this was 2-3 years ago, funny enough these thoughts have completely taken a backseat as things intensify.) and i was very principled and altruistic. I was working out 3+ times a week i was cooking. I was at peace with all of my interpersonal relationships and making friends at a steady pace. I finished a song. All of my friends left town when I hit 26. I visited some of them after the fact but got drunk and tried to break into their place because my gf left her purse there before they ditched us and they got mad at me and we haven't talked since. last two months i've been going to parties but only really hitting it off with like, young girls which is not who i want to be surrounding myself with because there is no common ground outside of a party setting and it is just kind of sus behavior, also probably an indicator of where i'm at in terms of maturity, most people my age or older are like well known in the community or already have friends or talk about stuff at their college-educated jobs that I don't know about or look at me weird for how im acting or what I choose to talk about because i'm not very bright or plugged in. I started really phoning it in at my job where i'm supposed to be taking care of vulnerable people. at this point i spend probably most of my workday on my phone. i used to be really on top of things. I don't do it out of a sense of entitlement or anti-employer principle or anything it's entirely a lack of self control and nobody's there to stop me. I'm going to community college classes where i'm always the oldest person there who isn't retired. i've been going to these entry-level classes for almost a decade and it makes me feel really stupid. My relationship with my partner who i love and have been with for also almost a decade has been better lately, but over these last six months at times it has been worse than it has ever been, solely because I can't figure out what I want and can't appreciate what I have. I have sunk into a deep pit of lonely indulgence in response to feelings of anxiety about the passage of time (meaning: taking stimulants to feel better, drinking all the time, jacking off, eating eating eating eating eating). I think what happened is that the

passage of time finally became impossible to ignore. from 2020-2023 my life was frozen in a bucolic crystalline lattice of domesticity that i had a sense of gratitude for that felt limitless, unending in the same way that I had an endless stretch of time on the clock. I felt ahead of the game in a lot of respects. I had found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, every day I was making meaningful connections with new people, I had done my time at a job I found tolerable and sufficiently compensatory and was making the transition to an even better one. I finished a song or two. I started getting tired of the patterns of discontent, then pleasure, then fear, then gratitude that tessellated to form my interface to the things in front of me and asked to be put on a mood stabilizer. After weeks of steady unease i forgot two doses two days in a row and plunged into a deep and unfamiliar well of fear and resentment. Every thought I have had about the passage of time over the last three to six to eight to eleven years aligned to a point- I missed the boat/I am not where I should be at this point in time/I have wasted the entirety of my youth, the wick has submerged/the time has passed for every fantasy I had about what I could be or do or create or who I could surround myself with when i was "older," "grown up," or "had the time to develop myself."/there is no longer a single thing to look forward to, because you have missed all of the inflection points to pivot your life toward where you wanted it it to be. Thoughts I had when I was 22 and wasn't watching the clock as i should have been - "if i am still in school by the time i am 26 [something will have gone terribly wrong - this is a state of failure]." I think that maybe what was sustaining me through the years of wandering inaction/fulfilled contentment was the thought

that I would always have time to do the other things, these other lives aren't mutually exclusive to experiencing this life. this is maybe one of the biggest copes I have ever engaged with, it is a thought I have

maybe hundreds of times a day. I can still do the other thing later, I want to do this right now, this is easy. I can do both things. I can indulge myself and I can be the person I want to be. I can waste as much time as I like and still look back at the end of the day and be happy with how I spent it.

Every day is a clean slate for me, there is no time like the morning because it represents a perfect, unblemished chunk of time ready for me to: 1) ideally set my affairs right and fulfill my ambitions 2) actually thoughtlessly devour, only to wonder what happened when faced with the empty plate in front of me. i think this pattern follows to every other ephemeral thing in my life. the realization of potential is a little death every time/a completely lossy process. it doesn't matter that something real became of it, it was better before it condensed because it represented so many different possibilities that could not coincide.

I don't have anybody to "look up to" anymore. Nearly anyone who as accomplished the things that I want to do, especially creatively, got it done when they were my age or younger. The time has passed and there is now a concrete veil between my path and theirs, because I spent my time differently. it's a really bad feeling. I put a lot of effort and thought into the idea of making music. It's all i want to do when I don't have the time, and the last thing that I want to do when I do have the time. I was okay with resigning it to a hobby for a number of reasons. I was at peace with the fact that I will not be able to make the things I want to make, I felt like I fully understood that there were other, much, much more important things to do with my life. I understood that the casual relationship I had with it was what kept it fulfilling and healthy. but these I think were also held in place by the understanding that "there will always be time later." My father is a failed musician, a chronic abuser, a man who suffers regular bouts of religious psychosis, and is shitting in diapers because of his drinking habit because of a lot of this. that's another thing that kept me at a safe distance from these ambitions. I didn't want to grow bitter and resentful of the actual people and places and things that made up my life because they stand in opposition to a [idealized, meaning holding infinite internal complexity and potential as discussed earlier] configuration where I got what I wanted out of myself creatively.

I'm at a point where I don't really know what comes next. I got about as far as I had mapped out, and what happened in that time didn't span the entirety of the self-conflicting imaginary that mapping consisted of, and i feel cheated because of it. because of this feeling, I'm getting mixed up and trying to push buttons because I want to feel some kind of agency in my life and i think i'm going to get taken out if i succumb to that impulse.

[velvetbunniie-archive]

AHH YAY FOR THE BOOK BLOG!! Can’t wait to hear all of your book thoughts <3

I do have a question for you: I know how you feel about Jacks and Eva (and that whole disastrous spin-off), but what are your thoughts on the original trio (Scarlett, Tella, Julian… and Dante/Legend too I guess!)? Thoughts on the ships, the characters, the plot itself?

(Also, I’m glad your surgery went well, wishing for a speedy recovery and nothing but good news from here on out!!!) 💗💗💗

OH, EVERYONE WILL B HEARING THEM… i am annoying, babey!!!

((we don’t talk abt that fucking spin-off on this blog.. love and light <3 need to send eva back to her pre-algebra class fr.))

BUT THE ORIGINAL TRIO…. scarlett is honestly one of my fav ya mcs still… she’s got that eldest daughter syndrome burned into her + she’s so refreshingly sheltered and anxious, but has the strength at the core of her that feels so human and mundane … that said, i think maybe she should’ve smacked tella for killing herself and coming back to prove a point. as an elder sister, i think scarlett should be a bit more ruthless, don’t you agree?

and julian is also a nice departure from the typical ya male love interest, wherein he’s, like, actually respectful, omg?? and kind and sweet? i find him much more interesting than dante (though maybe that’s bc legend being his brother is important to his character development. i will accept legend for this reason and this reason alone.) honestly, out of all of the characters stephanie’s written, i think scarlett and julian are the most soulmate-coded out of all of them. i mean, they have matching white streaks in their hair bc they died together for a day <3 need i say more? the DEVOTION!!! even in the small things!!

i will forever mourn the fact that stephanie felt she wasn’t mature enough to write their love story in legendary… be soooo serious. i want to see it!!! instead we get, like, two scenes with scarlett and julian when actually i deserve a thousand of them. on top of that, it defs feels like lazy writing to ignore all that development that occurs in that book. many issues with this (>jst wants to see them kiss a bit more, ithink.)

((also they were quite possibly her strongest-written charas with the most compelling storyline… WHERE are they!!! i deserve to see more of them!!!!!))

OH ALSO, THEY WEREN’T A LOVE TRIANGLE (legend tried for,like , half a chapter, that doesn’t count), and that, my friend, is what i like to see in a soulmate couple. or in more ya couples in general, bc i literally can’t do this anymore. (>will make exceptions, as always)

i found tella to be fun, it a bit like most of the ya mcs in fantasy novels… but again,, you can’t tear a character that’s a bit of a bitch away from me. go harder. make her a feral bitch too. but, oughhh, the ya fantasy series doldrums… the love triangle… :// maybe i want tella to be meaner to jacks (and also i think jacks wants tella to be meaner to him too. many things to think of.) rather than running off with legend.

whiiiich brings me to legend. i kinda hate that he’s the way he is. he’s jst super up his own ass in a less engaging way than jacks is (i also want jacks dead. we all know how i feel about him. killing him with my mind.) not only that, but he’s boring. oh my god, he’s so boring. the romance with tella felt like stephanie chickening out / making the sisters fall in love with the brothers to make it nice and neat.. honestly, finding out she hadn’t decided who tella would end up with while she’d been plotting out the novel made me all the more enraged. we have a boring ass bitch here??? instead of jacks?? instead of an actually more engaging plotline? i want ppl that are horrible !!!! i’m here for an interesting time, not a wholesome one!

that said, i want jacks left out in the cold, where he’ll die alone. love him to bits. i hope he’s mauled by a wolf <3 i’ll also stick him in a little terrarium, if need be.

anyway, i… won’t lie, i think finale is probably the most interesting book (mostly bc we actually get to see mistress luck, god bless!!), but the scenes with tella and legend had me rolling my eyes. when has he ever been interesting enough to pine after? maybe tella should’ve jst remained single (and honestly, with that travesty of a scene in once upon a broken heart wherein all of the original characters had their personalities mauled to bits, it certainly fucking feels like tella’s single). but alas.

(yes, it defs did!!! my hand’s bruising a bit and my stitches are stinging like a bitch rn, but such is the nature of having a healthy hand in the end, i guess ;;;; )

[sweethurtss]

last night, in my half-awake state, I wrote a long rambling post about an RDR2 thought that had been bothering me for a hot second now. the TDLR of it is:

Abigail slept with three of the men in camp AT MOST, not “everyone” like Dutch said

Which, by the by, Dutch is manipulative and a fucking liar. ESPECIALLY when he said that to John, he was just trying to get under John’s skin.

Dutch’s ego has always been way too large. He wouldn’t have allowed John and Abi to be together without pulling some sort of power play just to remind people that she was “his” first. Because lets be real: Dutch definitely feels like he owns the women he’s been with.

And I KNOW the whole camp didn’t sleep with her because I honestly believe they would’ve been throwing that in John’s face at every little provocation - or even just to get a rise out of him since everyone gets on John like that. So the fact that they don’t? yeah. especially the likes of Bill and, again, Dutch.

Like, the canon gang isn’t as sunshine and flowers as fandoms writes them sometimes. They can be rude to each other, and sometimes it’s just teasing, but they also know each other well enough to know how to get under each other’s skin.

Also... Abigail knows men and she’s a lot smarter than people give her credit for. If she knew she was going to run with the gang for even half as long as she does, I don’t think she’d endanger herself by messing around with everyone. That’d be shitting where she ate, and it doesn’t take a genius to know that.

She likely watched everyone and took in the social dynamics before deciding. This feels fairly accurate since we also see that she she stays with Hosea when her and John are fighting/on the outs. And it's more safe for her to do business outside of the camp, at least that way, she can bring in new money to their funds and prove her worth outside of her connection to the men.

Of the three men that Abi did potentially sleep with, it’s likely Arthur, Javier, and the canonical John because the first two are probably the most emotionally mature about their sexual relationships and I think Abigail would trust their temperaments to keep things civil around camp if she ever said no to them.

Everyone’s devotion to Dutch is probably a red flag to her too. She’s always seen through his B.S. to some degree (not all the way through, but enough to sniff out how phony he can be). But that’s EXACTLY why she likely never wanted a relationship with Arthur. His deep ties with the gang and Dutch specifically would frighten her, it would be condemning herself (and later Jack) to the exact lifestyle that she was begging John to get them out of.

(Also, how often did she hear Hosea speak fondly of Bessie? Of the time they left the gang (before his eventual return). I think the epilogue is truly all about them both falling back in love with each other and working towards a better future for their family.)

Because unlike Arthur, John was at least rebellious. He was very opinionated and Abigail felt safe knowing John wasn’t totally indoctrinated and blindly following Dutch's orders, often doing things his own way. And that he even had that freedom to do it to the degree he did.

(Like, I love Arthur so damn much, but the game is literally all about him falling out with Dutch and the gang falling to pieces, and the inevitable doom that comes with being in too deep to save yourself - but still being able to save those around you.)

Abigail just couldn’t ever account for how traumatic fatherhood was for John. And I think she kind of fell out of love with him in RDR2, even when she still saw him as an important factor to getting out of the gang — it’s a dangerous world for a single mother and baby boy after all

Also side note: am kind of loving this idea that John got away with so much in the gang because not only was he a kid when they first picked him up, but because for as unruly and argumentative as he could be, Dutch always thought John was as devoted to the gang as Arthur and Hosea. So when John ran away after Jack was born? That was likely a huge ass betrayal and fed into Dutch’s deepest fears that any of them could turn on him, which we see him accusing Arthur of as early as Horseshoe Overlook (some people even say it happens earlier).

I also firmly believe Jack is John’s, especially since we see John is constantly trying to figure out a way he couldn’t be. But I think she must have fallen pregnant in their ‘honeymoon’ phase, when they were doing everything together and always attached at the hip — because I do think John courted her properly enough, instead of just paying for her services. And we do know that she used to go out on missions all the time before she had Jack, so it doesn’t feel entirely unplausible.

there was likely more but this was the most pressing stuff on my head lol