#I am NOT

[thetabase]

Hi hermit tumblr

[hellfire--cult]

I'm not ashamed.

[silhouette-cosplay]

@sennedjem (left) and I (right) are gonna be so insufferable at Fan Expo Boston in a few weeks 😂

[faunandfloraas]

"This is so good. This is the killing part." Behind the recording of "I Am Not", 2018.

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

You wanna know what I'm surprised I haven't seen more of? Bard Tavs serenading Astarion, or singing him to sleep with a lullaby composed just for him. I'm sure Astarion would eat up all that affection.

This is so cute omg. And also managed to be an actual drabble instead of a novel! As always cw for spoilers!

~

Astarion woke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest as he frantically looked around. But he wasn't in Cazador's torture room. No, instead he was at the Elfsong, safe and sound in a private room. It had been another nightmare, a typical occurrence as of late.

Atarion had assumed that those would stop after the monster was dead, but they seemed to be more frequent than ever. It felt unfair. He had won. Cazador was dead, by his own hand. There was nothing left to fear. Well... that wasn't including the tadpole still trapped in his lover's skull, not to mention his own. And the Elder Brain. And the cult of Bhaal. But in all honesty, all of that felt so small now with his slave master disintegrated. If he could do what had felt impossible, what had been impossible, for centuries, why couldn't he accomplish the rest?

Astarion groaned as he sat up, realizing for the first time that he was alone in bed. But luckily enough you hadn't gone far. He turned to find you sitting on the window sill, illuminated by the moonlight as you scribbled away in your journal.

You glanced over at the sound of his shuffling, your brow furrowed, "Star? Why are you still awake?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Astarion sighed, the coldness of your side of the bed coming into full perspective. He would like that fixed sooner than later, "Now come back to me, it's cold."

You smiled, slipping down from your perch to join him in bed. Astarion wasn't quite sure when such simple actions would stop making him melt like an infatuated teenager. He was starting to think that it would never come to an end.

You laughed softly as he immediately wrapped his arms around you, cradling you against his chest, "You know how I love to sleep in fits and starts. But you don't exactly have the same excuse, do you? You look so tired lately."

Astarion frowned, loathing the fact that his lack of sleep had become so obvious. But then again, if anyone was going to be familiar with his night terrors, it would be you. He sighed, "Just nightmares. Nothing you haven't heard before."

You frowned, "That doesn't make them pleasant."

"No," Astarion laughed softly, "It doesn't. But now it's your turn. What were you up to in the middle of the night?"

"Just some writing. I've been working on a few things."

"Like what?" Astarion asked, sincerely curious. You were quite the talent as a bard, a fact that he was aware of before he fell in love with you.

"A new ballad mostly, with a lullaby on the side."

That sounded well within your wheel house, though this was the first time he'd heard of you writing a lullaby, "What inspired that?"

"You," You said simply, "But I know how you get when I'm all mushy, so I kept it to myself for now."

Astarion hadn't expected that, but that massive smile that broke out on his face at the news wasn't a surprise. He kissed the top of your head, still smiling to himself, "I don't recall ever saying I disliked you being a sickening romantic. Can I hear it?"

You looked up at him, surprised for some reason. Which was frankly silly. Who wouldn't want to hear a song written about them from the person they loved most? For once in his life Astarion was being the normal one here.

"You want me to sing to you?" You asked, sitting up in bed to smile down at him.

Astarion grinned back, "I wouldn't object to it."

"Well in that case..."

And then you started to sing. Astarion adored the sound of your voice, and apparently he loved it even more when you were singing about him.

Little star, so bright and fierce,

Beautiful with eyes that pierce,

But that's not all there is,

He's strong and swift with perfect lips to kiss, a humor that is only his,

Charming and witty, a wish come true,

If only the rest of the world knew.

Astarion wasn't quite sure when he fell asleep that night, but it was to the sound of your sweet, melodious voice and with a smile plastered to his face.

And for the first time in days, he didn't have a single nightmare.

[goblinontour]

i am dead.

rip

[walnutmistjamie]

@smallscreensource TV appreciation week: Day 1: Favourite Character — Jamie Tartt (Ted Lasso)

[anonfromtheflight]

Watching season 3 while I'm doing some work and omg how did we all survive these two???

Also, Simon reaching a whole new level of gorgeousness in S3? Absolutely!

[swedenis-h]

Good night!

[wolfythewitch]

KEEPS PACE WITH TRIPPING STEPS

[rags-hexx]

[calqkey]

my sun and stars

[aethelredism]

[faunandfloraas]

Happy 6th Anniversary to SKZ!

25th of March, 2018.

[aurumacadicus]

Send a number? Ok! How about 18? Or 35 if that one has been asked already

Steve stared down at his hands, rubbing his thumb over the wedding ring around his finger. Tony was sat across the table from him, face impassive. The counselor they were seeing had stepped out for a moment, apparently a 'couple in crisis' on the phone that she needed to calm immediately. Steve wished she would come back. Wished he and Tony were in crisis. Anything other than this, betraying and feeling betrayed with a table between them and nothing to stay.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Tony asked, voice quiet, eyes dropping to the surface of the table.

Steve sucked in a sharp breath, grinding his teeth. "We shouldn't talk without the counselor here."

"You let me talk about our life together that included kids for weeks and just now you dropped that you don't like children?" Tony hissed, eyes darting back up to him, full of fire and brimstone.

"It's for the act," Steve tried, but even as he said it, he knew that Tony didn't believe it. He didn't believe it, either.

"I thought I'd be a good dad," Tony said, and he sounded so defeated, it broke Steve's heart.

He couldn't look at him anymore. He looked back down at the ring on his finger instead and immediately regretted it. It just made him feel worse. "You will be a good dad, Tony."

"So, what, you'll choke down your distaste for children for me?" Tony asked, and there was a hint of steel in his voice now. "I've lived with that as the kid, Steve. It wasn't healthy for anyone."

Steve jerked his head up, tears filling his eyes. "Tony, I didn't say I don't like children. I said I'm scared. And if you were as smart as you always say you are, you'd be scared too." Tony opened his mouth, offended, but Steve plowed over him, biting out, "I broke three doorknobs this week. Doorknobs. I keep imagining a baby in my hands--" He spread his hands on the table, palms up, and was ashamed to find them shaking. "--and babies are so delicate, Tony, I. What if. What if I--"

Tony reached out to cover his hands with his own. "You never hurt me," he told him gently.

"I don't want to even accidentally hurt a baby, Tony," Steve whispered.

The hurt had faded from Tony's face. Resignation didn't look any better on him. "Who would adopt to us anyway?" he asked, and the humor he'd tried to inject into his tone didn't work. "We're not even here in good faith. How could we make sure they were never in danger?"

"Thor said Amora wouldn't be able to manipulate us like she had the other couples," Steve reminded him half-heartedly. "We wouldn't bring them on missions."

"Maybe I can just be a really good uncle," Tony sighed, as if there was nothing to argue about anymore, drawing his hands back into his lap.

This was why he hadn't wanted to tell Tony, Steve thought, watching him carefully tuck the idea of children into a little box and hide it away as if he didn't still desperately want it. Tony was too accommodating. He was already making up reasons he couldn't have a child so Steve couldn't take any of the blame for it.

Steve picked up the table and threw it at the counselor when she tried to come back in, and Amora caught it with a sparking-green hand. This wasn't a conversation he was going to have in front of an enemy, and throwing punches at her would help him work out all his jittery nerves. He wanted the calm after battle to be able to get his thoughts in order and really hash this out.

Even if they decided they didn't want kids after, it was going to be a mutual decision, not Tony simply taking it off the table and believing he was wrong for wanting them.

[gg-neptune]

Three

So uh this is kinda rushed at the end but it was just hard for me to write honestly. And yes this is based off my AP tests score and how I reacted. And yes I am still upset. Yes I know I should be grateful but like. :( I hope you like it. <33

Warnings: academic over achiever, crying, age gap? (possibly I mean he's like a year older than them but he's also her teacher and no I do not care that this is not canons shut up leave me alone)

Waiting eagerly, you refreshed the page once more and it appeared. You could only see the top of it, your hands shook in fear at what you might see. This dumb test meant everything to you and now months after taking it you could finally see your score. It was finally time. You had studied for hours every night for 2 months leading up to it. You had an A in the class the entire year as well and had made a 4 on the mock exam. Countless tears and hours had gone into this and now you could finally see your score.

Some might say you were a bit of an academic overachiever. You had gone from making straight failing grades to A's in the matter of a year. You took your grades rather seriously, always being terrified they would drop back down to failing. Your hard work had landed yourself in an Advanced Placement class at Hogwarts. Now you were finally getting your score and you were terrified. 

With trembling hands you scrolled down a bit, looking at your score with great fear. What if you had failed? All your work for absolutely no profit. You wanted a 5. Now you knew this was asking a lot. However you thought you deserved it in a way. This year had been awful and you had gotten a high A in the class so why could you not at least get a 4? You were confident in your answers as well so why not stretch for a 5 as well?

3

You stare blankly at the screen for a moment. Your score is sinking in. A 3. You passed at least. At least there was that. However you were still thoroughly disappointed. You expected more of yourself.

How would you tell everyone? You knew everyone expected you to get at least a 4 or a 5. To get a 3 was almost humiliating. How would you face Severus? 

You and Severus had been dating for a few years. You were still in school as a seventh year while this was his first year as a professor. He had only graduated the year prior being only one year older than you. You two got some strange looks from the younger years but majority of the older kids knew him and you from when he was at Hogwarts as a student so it was not a big issue. 

He expected a lot from you. He taught you privately on his own time along with his lectures in class. He had also been expecting you to pass with a higher grade and you had only gotten a 3. Most of the universities you had been looking at did not even accept 3’s for credit. Most of them honestly only accepted 5’s. And you had pulled off a 3.

A knock sounded at your door. Somehow you knew automatically who it was. A sense of dread built up inside of you immediately. It seemed like a brick had been placed in your throat burning you from the inside out.

“Hey, can I come in,” his deep voice rang out from outside. You felt frozen in place feeling a panic overtake you. The thought of him knowing your score sends you further into your state of distress. It felt like your chest was collapsing in on you. Like your own body was capsizing and you were trapped inside.

The door opened anyway despite you not giving permission quickly after him looking around for a moment his eyes landed on you.

“What’s wrong?” His voice seemed blunt as he just stared at you confused. Not being very good at comforting others he simply stood there staring at you for a moment before thinking that might not be a good idea and taking a seat on your bed.

You attempt to choke out an answer but your throat does not allow you. The feeling of the brick being there still haunts you as you attempt to communicate with the man in front of you. You hadn’t realized before but tears had begun to roll down your cheeks as you stare at him scared out of your mind of what he will say to you.

“It’s… it’s alright whatever it is. Nothing is unfixable I mean like we can even bring dead people back it can’t be that bad just tell me what’s wrong. I can fix it.” Severus tried his best at comforting you he really does but this does nothing to soothe your distress. You can tell by the worried expression and tone of his voice he is concerned but you can not manage to spit out any words. This in fact can not be fixed. Your score is already set in stone. There is nothing you can do about it at all.

A sob suddenly breaks from your mouth as you break. Loud wailing breaks from you as you crumple in front of him. Your body slouched forward onto your knees, sobs wracking your body taking you down. Quickly Severus is leaning forward and gathering you into his arms. Cradling you like a little baby. Pressing your face into his chest allowing you to sob into him he attempts to soothe you again, “Shhh, I mean really it can’t be worth crying over hun what is it? Hmmm?” Putting on his comforting voice instead of his cold monotonous one. 

You reach over to your computer keeping your face still pressed into him, you drag it over to the both of you showing him your score wailing out, “I’m such a failure,” brokenly.

You can’t see his face as he looks but you can only imagine the rage and anger crossing it right now. All of the hard work he had out into you and passing you had failed him.

“I don’t get it? You did great, what's wrong?”

“I got a 3! How is that great,” your voice breaks multiple times as you cry this out. Still sobbing into his shirt you feel both of his arms wrap around you after he closes your computer putting it aside. One hand runs up and down your back soothingly while the other simply stays firmly wrapped around you keeping you close to him.

“Love, a 3 is passing that’s still good don’t be upset,” he whispers out rocking you back and forth trying to calm.

You don’t respond, instead just opting to cry into his shirt as your misery overtakes you. Now logically you knew that a 3 was not in fact terrible but it was not what you wanted. Or what you felt like was expected. However you weren’t quite thinking logically right now, so instead you let Severus just hold you. Letting him take your tears and soak them up.

Eventually your tears subside, having worn yourself out from sobbing so much. Severus slowly shifts you both into a lying position against your pillows, haphazardly pulling a blanket over you both. He keeps you close to him, not letting you get even an inch away from him as he continues his rubbing on your back.

“I am incredibly proud of you,” he whispered into your ear, “I want nothing more than for you to see yourself the same way I see you.”

He continues to wipe stray tears away as they fall. Neither of you say a word to another, you being too scared to speak and him not being sure what would be right to say.

Instead of breaking the silence you snuggle yourself closer to him seeking his comfort. Sniffling every now and again you use his arm as a pillow to try and make it easier to breathe. He presses gentle kisses to your face still whispering his sweet nothings of how proud he is of you and how good you did as you slip off into sleep.