#I am assuming it had to do with the composer because I know he was supposed to sing with Samantha Massell and she wasn’t there either

[walkingtilwefall]

Ben Fankhauser was supposed to perform at 54 Below last night and his song got cut and I’m super bummed. Like, the show was still phenomenal but he was why I bought the ticket 😭

[moonstruckdraws]

The Changes Through Time

And my project is finish! My gift to the CAS series and @somerandomdudelmao! (This is technically supposed to be for the 1 year anniversary of CAS, but I don't have the time to post it on the 12th and I don't understand the queue system lol)

I deeply love this series as I have made fanart for it before several times and honestly it really improved my art. Cass is also an amazing creator and I look forward to anything they post in the future.

(A bit of a spiel about the illustrations from this point on)

I was honestly going to go for more of a tarot card style with boarders and everything, but as I was composing the 1st illustration, I ditched the idea and just when for simple text. The third image (like how tarot cards read the past, present/current, & future) was going to be the present, but honestly I was confused enough trying to decide which illustration was the past & future with the first two. Plus the "current" state of the story doesn't have much significance yet (and references of them aren't made because it's generally their other outfits) so I went with their spirits!

1st illustration: Representing the start of it all with the current state of all the characters. Of course we didn't know the condition of Raph in the beginning, but since he remained static until Casey found him I believe it's safe to assume that he was in that state the whole time. This illustration is unfortunately my least favorite because it's not rendered the same as the others, due to it being the first fully rendered image I've done in a while. But oh well, I still like it for the most part.

2nd illustration: Representing all of the turtles resurrections with a group hug. Not much else to note about the meaning other than the fact that I almost gave Leo an arm that he does not have. This one was also the greatest to render as I had the most fun with the bright colors. This one is definitely my favorite.

3rd illustration: Representing the turtles spirits when they were dead. Though the last one was the best to render, this one was the best to compose as a whole. Mikey and Donnie were the easiest to do since their broken states were shown in the comic, but with Raph and Leo I had to be a bit creative. With Raph I wanted to show the lack of his senses due to being in a robot for a long time and everything being subconscious. It's not as strongly detailed as the others, but he did have the most stable conditions compared to the rest of his brothers. With Leo I wanted to display his lack of self physically. Since he was fading away, at first, I wanted his spirit to be more faded and weaker compared to the rest.

Nothing else to be said that wasn't said before, but I am very glad that I started reading CAS. I've never felt more invested and moved by a fanmade comic before, so this experience is actually life changing for me. And seeing others fanart for it only inspired me! I am truly amazed by Cass and this series. Happy early 1 year anniversary

[funficwriter]

Fontaine Characters with Violinist Reader!

A/N: This disappearing thing of mine is annoying, I'm trying to stop it. However, I finally got a bit of spare time to play Genshin and I am so, so in love with Fontaine. I think it's gonna be a wonderful arc. I haven't felt this much jubilation since Liyue or Inazuma!

Warnings; None, really.

Lyney, Lynette, Neuvillette, Navia, Furina, Wriothesley (no particular order)

Lyney

First off, this boy is no stranger to performing, an activity he loves. Naturally, he's going to be most interested in fellow performers, including you!

If you're the type to get anxious before, or even during a performance, say goodbye to that with him. He'll guide you through plenty of destressing rituals to help you relax beforehand.

(This included, but wasn't limited to; Taking deep breaths, doing tongue twisters, asking you to play meme songs on your violin, or tickling your sides because 'laughing is a great way to be loose'.)

Even during, should you freeze up and he's in the audience, he'll do a quick but loud magic trick to get everyone's eyes off you. Even one that makes him look like a fool, so long as you have time to put yourself together.

He'd LOVE to have you on stage with him! He adores your music and would ask you to sync it up with dramatic moments in his magic.

If you compose you own stuff, he's pretty much your biggest fan. The guy who never misses a concert. The loudest clapper. The biggest braggart.

"That gorgeous, graceful violinist we had the pleasure of watching? What if I told you that they're coupled up with an equally electric performer? That is, me~."

Lynette

It's easy to think that her brother outdoes her in terms of being your fan, but quietness hides a lot. If you think she doesn't care as much, you're so, so wrong.

She learned several music skills just to be closer to you, including sight-reading. BTW, she's got a killer voice and loves to sing out your compositions. Sometimes it helps you come up with alternative movements within them.

She can also play piano, to a good level of accompaniment. With time, one would think she is also a music assistant; It's not uncommon for her to be on your stage.

Lynette is VERY attentive to your instrument. Does it need rosin? A new bow, perhaps a re-hair? You just say the word, and she'll happily take it to the repair workshop if you have no time.

"By the way, Y/N prefers real horse hair, the thinnest you have. Don't worry. They're talented enough to thrive on it.".

She makes it a point to let you know how much she loves what you do: "All other music in Fontaine pales in its beauty next to yours. Please, keep playing.".

Neuvillette

You play the violin? (he crosses his legs and assumes his royal position). So when are you going to get married? Will you be okay playing a few pieces, even while being the spouse? /Half-joking, tbh.

For him to say that he is the lover of a music pioneer as important as you... Will never not be a moment of joy for him.

First off, what a sugar daddy. I hope you made a list of the expensive violins you wanted but couldn't afford. Because now, it's yours, never mind the Mora. Your very case may as well be coated with gold.

He won't die on this hill, but he would love it if you could play a bit during the parties he hosts. He loves live music to begin with, but after hearing you, it feels like no other pro could hope to sound as good as you.

(And side note, he likes how mesmerized everyone is with you lol)

If you're the type to remember your patron's personal preferences, and compose/play in accordance to that, just for him? Put hearts in his eyes. He's no longer joking about the wedding thing.

While he loves showing you off, he'll never force you if you're shy/nervous. If anything, he would also feel very special if he got to heard songs not out yet, compositions just for him...

"Perhaps this is Lady Furina's way of rewarding me for my years of service. Bless our Archon for giving me such a talented, show and heart-stopping partner.".

Navia

She likes that the Spina del Rosula is represented by passionate, talented people!

If you like sweets, I say just join her team. It's guaranteed pastries after each request lol.

Her detective work is cool, but can get a bit drab after a while. She likes asking you to play some violin ambiance, partly because it makes her feel cool, and partly because your music changes the atmosphere for much better.

Navia is a woman of decorum, but she'll often have trouble staying still during your concerts. It doesn't matter if there are rules to how loud a woman can cheer, she's happy for you and will make sure you know that.

She becomes even more proactive than usual. If a concert of yours falls on the same time as her work, she'll scour the ends of Teyvat for its solution, so she can see you.

With time, she might request you to play pieces that her father loved. Once they're brought back to life, through your own strings, she can't help but be a little emotional. She must have done something wonderful to have you.

"How beautiful, how poignant as you, my dear Y/N! This calls for macaroons! Which flavor would you like today?".

Furina

"Yes, Neuvillette, I know they perform and all, but why can't I keep them to myself! They're so darn great, I want that everyday!"

Of course, she's not gonna stop you, but beware; I feel like Furina would almost turn you into her own personal violinist lol.

She'd keep requesting your presence over her other personal entertainment and somewhat bombard you with song requests. Buuut if you're looking for a varied repertoire, she's your gal!

One reason she requests so much is because she so impressed with how you not only fulfill them all, you do it so creatively and beautifully. You don't just follow the note as it is... Once you're acquainted with what she likes, you modify the tune a bit to be more her taste.

She's so cute when she claps; The way her hands go so fast and she's about to get up from the seat, the huge eye and smile... Why, you might start reconsidering her offer.

"Bravooooo, Y/N!! Bravo! That was everything, I can't go on without an encore!"

If the tune is more happy-go-lucky, she will get up and dance along. Will also do it in circles around you because she's your little orb :3

Wriothesley

"Forgive me for intruding... But I was overhearing, and your playing is terrific. Electrifying. Do you happen to perform on Saturday nights? That's when I can leave the Fortress for a bit.".

Of all your fans, Wrio is one of the quieter ones, but not so much that no one knows it. For one, he's a Duke, he's bound to enjoy good music. And heavens knows he needs some fun in his life.

Here's a fun thing (ngl this is what I was excited to write): At first, it doesn't sound like he can make it to your recital. You see him on his desk, surrounded by paper mountains that only ever seem to grow. He doesn't want to make you sad, but his remark lets you know that he's not coming: "Would it kill some of these people to tone it down for a bit so I can go see my partner perform?".

So imagine your shock when you step on stage, and see him on the first row, sitting tall and handsome, shit-eating grin on his face and waving. You really bought it for a moment.

"Hehe... Did you really think I can't even make a bit of time to see Fontaine's best violinist in action? You actually bought that?".

I HC that he has insomnia, and has tried any things to cure it, but to no avail. It's rumored in Fontaine that his is incurable, but little do they know about how he lays down next to your sitting form. Little do they know of the soft lullabies you composed just for him, or how peacefully he dreams afterwards 💜

[vanillawurld]

༊*·˚ Worth The Wait

✧.* Request- @vampiric-tempt

"Saw that you were taking MK1 requests! May I requests head canons of how the Lin Kuei brothers treat a reader they’re secretly in love with? How would they react when reader finds out?

Thank you and have a lovely day 🫶🏼"

✧.* Pair - Bi-Han x Fem! Reader, Kuai Liang x Fem! Reader, Tomas Vrbada x Fem! Reader (separately)

✧.* Tags & Warnings - Fluff, love, and confessions

✧.* Extra - Headcanons yesssss also to the requester, I hope its okay if I changed things up just a bit :)

✧.* Word Count - 1,790

Bi-han

: ̗̀➛ Seeing how much of an aggressive and wrathful person Bi-han is, everyone would assume he had no time for "crushes." Bi-han had that assumption of himself as well, but he was extremely wrong.

: ̗̀➛ When Bi-han laid his eyes on Y/N, deep down he knew he needed to be her man. This wasn't a "crush" this was "love" which were the same exact words Madam Bo said to him.

: ̗̀➛ Even when Bi-han is madly in love with Y/N, he still tries to compose the same aggressive attitude he always has. But his emotions won't even let him raise his voice at his Y/N. Bi-han was more gentle around Y/N, but still managed to have his "scary" frame of mind. Deep down he wants to protect her and make sure no one is causing harm towards or around her. He doesn't treat her like how he treats the others, he's actually very cautious around her. Some may even call him "delicate" when he's close to her. (which angers him and makes his angry self come out)

: ̗̀➛ Of course, he doesn't treat her like a child. Far from that actually because he knows that she dislikes it when she is treated that way. But, he would do anything for her. He would win a thousand wars for her. He would travel across every realm for her. He loves her.

: ̗̀➛ When Y/N found out that she had herself an admirer, it felt like Bi-han's world was destroyed. He felt embarrassed and angry at the same time. Mainly anger because he felt like he was betrayed. He didn't even tell anyone about his feelings towards Y/N, but he still felt like someone betrayed him.

: ̗̀➛ When Y/N confronted Bi-han about his feelings, Bi-han pretended to act like she was delusional;

"You have no idea what you're talking about, go make yourself useful and-" Y/N cut him off by raising her finger up to his lip.

"Your attitude and body language towards me give it all away." she simply said to him. Bi-han didn't have a response to that. He felt like if he kept denying his feelings any further, he would for sure give himself away. But, staying silent would also make things worse.

"You are good at detecting ... I am pacified by your presence. Not like the others, you cause no trouble. When compared to other people, I would much rather be around you." Bi-han said to Y/N. He himself couldn't believe what came out of his mouth. Madam Bo was right when she said love makes you do crazy things.

Y/N smiled. A confession was all she needed from him. It pained her to see his obvious signs but not a confession. She came close to his face and placed a rather light kiss on the corner of his lips. Confirming that she felt the same way about him. Bi-han was star-struck. His mind couldn't process what just happened. He stood there and watched as his now lover walked away from him. From that day forward, Bi-han made an oath to himself to always protect her and their love from any evil.

Kuai Liang

: ̗̀➛ Kuai has known (his lovely) Y/N his whole life. He's developed his feelings over time and has no shame about it. At least, for now. Every day he would hope for Y/N to show a glimpse of her feelings towards him. One part of him called himself desperate but the other part didn't care. He would do anything in the world for Y/N to hold him close.

: ̗̀➛ He was a lot more softer on Y/N. Even if she was mad at him, he would still hold that soft attitude towards her because he couldn't see himself getting mad at her. She was his beautiful moon. The moon he would look at and worship every time he would look at her. She was his but she didn't know it yet.

: ̗̀➛ Kuai took his role of serving Earthrealm seriously. He took that serious composure everywhere he went, but when he was around Y/N, it was like he could relieve himself and back away from that heavy-weight role. He treated her like a delicate flower, but he didn't take it too far. He was afraid of his feelings being revealed because of his treatment.

: ̗̀➛ Kuai loves to admire Y/N. He loves to admire her skills, her looks, her personality, how she treats others, and how she treats him. He tries to compliment her every chance he gets. Doesn't matter if it's a small one, he just loves to see her smile. That's one of the ways Kuai loves to treat her. He remembers her telling him "Treat others how you would want to be treated."

: ̗̀➛ Kaui would give up his life for his precious girl. But of course, he needed to pull back on those thoughts because she wasn't officially his (YET). The more he hid his feelings, the more it ate him up. And the more it ate him up, the more his feelings got worse. He knew he had to do something about his feelings.

: ̗̀➛ Kuai had no fear of confrontation but for some reason, his body was trying to hold him back from finding Y/N to tell her how he felt. His palms were sweaty and his heart racing when he finally found her;

"Kuai! I was looking for- wait, are you okay?" Y/N asked as she saw how out of place Kuai looked. She got closer to him and realized his face looked flushed. She could even hear his heart pounding like it was about to jump out of his chest.

Kuai's brain couldn't even form the words that needed to be formed. All he could do was stare at her beautiful face that stared back at him with a concerned look all over her face. Kuai hated the fact that he couldn't even form a sentence. He knew he needed to say something and not just stare at her like an idiot.

Kuai took both of Y/N's hands into his and took a deep breath and started spilling his guts. He told her everything that he needed to say about how he felt about her, how much he loved her, and how she made him feel like the only man on earth whenever he was around her. "Y/N, for many years I have had strong feelings of love for you. I admire you in every way. I had hoped that me treating you nicely would give you a hint, but that has failed. I'm sorry for hiding my feelings for a long time, but I am telling you this now in fear that I would have to hide forever." He said to her.

Y/N smiled like she was watching a fireworks show. She gently caressed his cheek, "Oh Kuai Liang, I always dreamed you would tell me this. I hated waiting for you to confess, but I knew that I had to. But the wait was worth it. I have always loved you as you have always loved me."

Tomas Vrbada

: ̗̀➛ Even though Tomans is a skilled man in kombat who has taken many lives in order to protect Earthrealm, he can't help but feel nervous when he's around a certain woman. That woman being Y/N of course. Y/N has Tomas wrapped around her fingers. Whenever he looks in Y/N's direction, Kuai Liang swears he sees heart eyes forming in Tomas's eyes.

: ̗̀➛ Tomas wanted to be around Y/N every day. She made him feel like a complete man. Y/N was the only person that made Tomas weak in the knees. He truly was in love with her. Not only that, Tomas treated Y/N with lots of kindness that no one had ever shown her before. At least, that's what he hoped, but nevertheless, he wanted to be the only man Y/N looked at.

: ̗̀➛ Tomas gets a lot of anxiety from Y/N, but she's unaware of it. When Tomas becomes overly talkative and fidgety, she occasionally becomes suspicious. Tomas is embarrassed to be around Y/N when he notices that he is occasionally acting quite strangely. Despite Tomas showing Y/N the highest respect and care, he still feels very nervous in her presence.

: ̗̀➛ Tomas likes to do very childish "secretive" things for Y/N. Sometimes he'll leave a couple of flowers lying around her presence, or he'll bring her her favorite meal from Madam Bo's but have Kuai Liang deliver it for him. Whenever Tomas does small adorable things for her, Y/N smiles because it's so obvious that Tomas is doing all of this for her.

: ̗̀➛Tomas is not a master at hiding his feelings. In fact, both of his brothers are aware that his feelings for Y/N run deep, but only one of them supports and encourages him to speak on his feelings. The other always tells him that feelings like those are childish and can interfere with important Lin Kuei business (I bet you tell which is which).

: ̗̀➛ Tomas gathered his confidence on confornting Y/N and telling her how he really felt, until Y/N confronted him first;

"W-Wait, so you're telling me you knew this whole time?" Tomas said with a hint of sadness in his tone. He felt defeated for some reason. He wanted to tell Y/N himself, but his little antics beat him to it.

"Well yeah. You're not that good at leaving secret messages, Tomas. The food, the flowers, all of it. And maybe Kuai Liang might've left a huge hint about your feelings towards me." Y/N couldn't help but giggle at Tomas's reaction when she mentioned his brother spoiling most of the surprise. She slowly walked closer to Tomas and placed both hands on his shoulder and slowly raised them up to the sides of his face, "When I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one for me. No one else, only you."

Tomas gently smiled, "I am content that you share the same feelings." He felt Y/N wrap her arms around his neck, holding him in a loving embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her closer. "I am still upset over the fact that Kuai Liang betrayed my trust, he will pay." He said before slowly pulling away from Y/N embrace.

"Oh come on, even you yourself knew it was obvious." Y/N grabbed his hand and held it. She placed a small kiss on the back of his hand, which made Tomas's heart jump. He finally had the girl he wanted and wasn't ever planning to let her go.

˖◛. *. ⋆ Vanilla Speaks

This was lowkey trash but ugh

guys i swear I'm gonna write more its just i get so tired easilyyyyyy

[minswriting]

okayyy so…. been thinking about jesus reid with his cane lately and i was wondering if you could do a little blurb where spencer is having trouble…. finishing, maybe cuz of his leg (idk how that would work but like) and spencer’s getting all frustrated so coworker!reader offers to help him out and he’s all whiny n shit 🤭

nsfw | mdni

i can imagine this being like he rarely ever has any free time so he tries to get off when he takes a shower but standing for too long hurts his leg. so he went to work without being able to get off. i hope you guys enjoy!! this is fem!reader btw as all of my works are!

warnings: nsfw content, blowjob, female reader, whiny spencer

—————————-

when spencer came into work looking defeated, you immediately knew that something was wrong. you weren’t quite sure as to what it was. but as the genius doctor walked with his cane, you just assumed it was likely to be his leg bothering him. you had felt bad at the fact that he had been shot in the leg and was suffering through walking with a cane. and judging by the look on his face, the one of frustration and annoyance, you could tell it was most certainly his leg that was bothering him.

it was one of those rare days when there wasn’t a case and so the only work to do is paperwork or reading up on old case files. your desk was right next to spencer’s as you looked at your computer to check your emails. you glanced over at spencer, who was reading an old file. he was biting the inside of his cheek as his finger followed along the text, his hair falling to his cheeks. he looked tense and you couldn’t help but speak up.

“spence?” you asked, looking at the genius.

spencer looked up from the file to look at you. “yes?” he replied softly. his voice was usually soft spoken and you loved that about him.

“are you okay?” you asked with a concerned look in your eye. “you’ve seemed frustrated and annoyed all day,” you added.

spencer took a deep breath, stretching his arms. “i-i mean for the most part i am,” he exclaimed, “it’s just this damn leg. it’s been…a hassle really.”

“have you been elevating it?” you asked, tilting your head at your coworker.

“when i can,” he said with a small smile. your concern for him softened his frustrated demeanor. “it’s hard though, alone at home. especially because i have to do everything myself,” he said, licking his lips and running a hand through his hair. “i-uh barely have time to…take care of myself, and when i do, it hurts to stand on my leg for that long,” he whispered nervously, not knowing how you’d react to him.

“take care of yourself how?”

spencer’s cheeks reddened. “i uh you know what? it’s not appropriate, i’m sorry i mentioned anything at all. let’s just not talk about it, yeah?” he said, going back to looking at the file.

your eyes widened as you realized what spencer had meant. you quickly composed yourself, clearing your throat and going back to what you were doing. though with the redness of your own cheeks, it was obvious to tell that his words had some sort of effect on you.

the day went by without anymore conversation with you and spencer which bothered you a bit. it most certainly had felt awkward after that. though you couldn’t help but think about the idea of spencer trying to get himself off, jerking himself off. it was likely he did it most in the shower judging by how this job has early days and very late nights.

today, being the rare day that it was, everyone had gone home at 5:30 PM. when you had gone home, your thoughts were still on spencer. wet, long hair clinging to his skin as he leans on his bathroom wall, looking down at his cock, jerking himself off. you could imagine just how hard it was to stand that long on his leg, especially since you doubted he brought his cane into the shower with him.

around 8:00 PM, you decided it was time to be a good friend and help spencer with his issue.

you knocked on the door of spencer’s apartment. you stood there a bit anxiously, biting your lip as you waited for him to answer. you were wearing the clothes you had worn to work, a black pencil skirt and a red blouse. your hair was down. after a few minutes, you heard the tapping of spencer’s cane before it stopped and he opened the door. his eyes widened as he saw you, not expecting you to be at his apartment.

spencer was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a FBI sweatshirt. you licked your lips nervously, looking at spencer. “oh!” he exclaimed. “y/n, what are you-“ he cleared his throat as he realized his voice was a bit too high. “what are you doing here?”

you took a deep breath. there was no backing down now. “can i come in?” you asked, looking at spencer. he moved to the side, allowing you to come into his apartment. you stepped inside and he closed the door behind you.

he walked over to the couch, taking a seat. you looked around the apartment before you turned to look at your coworker. “so,” you began. “when you told me, you’d been…struggling,” you continued, “i thought perhaps…i could help you.”

“w-what?” he stuttered, looking at you with his beautiful big brown eyes.

you walked over to spencer, your heels clicking on the wooden floor, before you kneels in front of him, between his legs. “i-i could help you if you let me,” you said softly, looking up at him. you put your hands on spencer’s thighs.

spencer licked his lips, looking down at you with a look you’ve not seen before. you could tell that your words had an effect on him, judging by the fact that he was already semi-hard in his sweatpants. “i-is this real?” he whispered.

you nodded your head. “yes,” you whispered back.

“i-if we do this, it’ll effect our whole dynamic,” he whispered, reaching a hand to move your hair out of your face.

you looked up at him, biting your lip. “i want you, spence,” you exclaimed softly. “and you need help. i want to help you,” you said as you moved your hand higher. you began palming him through his sweatpants, causing spencer to moan softly. “can i help you?”

spencer nodded his head, bucking his hips into your hand. “yes,” he said shakily. “please.”

you let out a breath of relief as spencer had given you. you put your hand on the hem of his sweatpants, pulling them down enough to reveal his cock. spencer let out a gasp from the cool air on his cock. it was red and angry, a signal that he hadn’t had relief in a while. his cock was long but not girthy. about seven inches or so in length. you smiled slightly, looking at spencer’s reddened face as he looked down at you.

you gave his cock an experimental tug, causing him to let out a small whimper. the sound was like heaven to your ears. the genius fbi profiler had been reduced to a whimpering mess by a simple tug of his cock. and it was powerful.

you lowered your head, giving the tip an experimental lick. spencer let out a shaky moan, bringing a hand to your hair. you slowly eased your mouth onto his length, stopping about halfway before going back up. your mouth moved up and down slowly, creating a rhythm as spencer whined and moaned, bucking his hips into your mouth.

it was all very new. you’ve of course done this before with other partners. but to do this with your coworker, someone you’ve had a crush on since you began at the BAU, it’s most certainly surreal. and clearly, spencer needed the help. so really you were just being a dedicated coworker.

“oh-oh fuck,” spencer moaned as you hollowed your cheeks, sucking his cock a bit faster. “feels so good,” he whined, closing his eyes in pleasure and throwing his head back. his fingers were entangled in your hair as you sucked him off, tugging at your hair gently. “mm!” he moaned. you hadn’t expected spencer to be so vocal but you didn’t mind it at all. it sent pools of arousal to your cunt, soaking your panties.

spencer began thrusting his hips into your mouth, unable to help himself from doing so and you allowed him to. what you were doing was for him. and if he wanted to use you for his pleasure, you were more than allowing him to do so. “oh my god,” he groaned, thrusting his hips up into you. “your mouth feels so good, y/n,” he said as he opened his eyes to look down at you. your messed up hair, your glistening eyes looking up at spencer, you were absolutely gorgeous.

spencer felt his cock stiffening as the heat in his abdomen grew bigger. he let out a loud trail of, “oh fuck, oh fuck, i’m so close, oh fuck.” he was about to pull out of your mouth but instead, you kept him in your mouth, sucking him off to completion. spencer let out a whine as he began cumming into your mouth with ropes. “oh my god,” he said, shuttering as his load shot down your throat. and being the good girl that you were, you swallowed greedily.

when spencer finished, you pulled off of his cock, leaving a trail of saliva and cum. spencer was breathing heavily, looking at you with a look of lust and gratefulness. he caressed your cheek, running a thumb across your bottom lip before bringing it up to his own mouth and licking it. “thank you,” he murmured to you, grabbing your hand to pull you onto his lap. you were careful to not hurt his leg at all.

“anytime,” you murmured back.

“i think i should show you how thankful i am,” he said before kissing your lips hungrily. and that kiss began a night of immense pleasure to the both of you.

it was safe to say that the two of you were no longer just coworkers anymore.

[honeygrahambitch]

"Hannibal." Bedelia's voice comes from the phone.

"I am here as well." Will says as he taps the "speaker" button on the screen of Hannibal's phone.

"Such a blessing." She says after a deep sigh.

"How are you doing?" Hannibal asks and Will audibly whispers "Do we have to make small talk?"

"I have to agree with his remark. Get straight to the point." Bedelia replies.

"Lizzie has been asking for a hair straightener for a few weeks now and we bought her one."

"...Who is Lizzie?"

"Our daughter?" Will answers feeling insulted.

"I feel like I should ask how that happened but I am happier when I am not involved in your... homoerotic saga."

Hannibal tries his hardest not to laugh while Will wants to grab the phone to hang up.

"Anyway, as I was saying, we got her a hair straightener."

"Sorry, how old is she?"

"Seven."

"Did you get a seven year old a hair straightener?"

"Please forgive us for not asking for your advice first." Will says sarcastically and is pleased only when he hears another sigh from Bedelia.

"Neither of you had a fulfilling childhood. It is logical that you ended up being this type of parents."

"What type of parents?" Hannibal asks curious about Bedelia's opinion while Will was silently counting in order to compose himself.

"Am I right if I assume you can't say "no" to your kid?"

Silence.

"That's what I believed as well." Bedelia goes on satisfied with her guess.

"Wait. When did I talk to you about my childhood?" Will asks.

"You didn't. You ended up being a serial killer married to a man who is ten years older than you. That tells me everything."

"Why did we have to call her?"

"Because this is important. We are not sure how to use the hair straightener."

"No, Hannibal had a shock when he noticed that the oven and the straightener have the same temperature levels." Will explained.

"Wouldn't that ruin her hair?"

"And that brings us to my previous question. Why did you get a seven year old something like that?"

"Because if she wants straight hair then she should get straight hair." Hannibal replies confidently.

Bedelia's reply comes quickly. "If she couldn't have straight parents then she should at least have straight hair, right?"

"Bedelia." Will started. "We know where you live. And last time I checked one of your legs was still in perfect condition."

"Don't mind Will, now, say, will it burn her hair?"

"I imagine the amount that you spent on it has at least 4 digits."

"Absolutely."

"It will be alright. Don't use the highest settings but other than that, that's how all straighteners work. I will assume yours is very high quality."

"It is. Cause we are good parents." Will added as he grabbed himself a beer from the fridge.

"Sure."

"Thank you for... picking up the phone." Hannibal said politely. "Would you like to come over for dinner?"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

She hanged up.

"What a bitch." Will commented as he left the kitchen.

[nena-la-fresa]

The Dragon and The Wolf |Part 2|

18+ Account | Minors DNI | Do NOT Follow, Like, or Comment | Pls have your age in your bio, if you do not I will automatically block you because I’ll assume you are a minor.

Part 1 | Part 3

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x f! Stark Reader

Warning: Arranged Marriage | Smut with Plot | Possessive Behavior | Hate Sex | Male Masturbation | F Oral Receiving

Word Count: 1370

A/N: Aemond is gonna be a little soft cuz I like my fictional psycho men to have a soft spot for their lover. This once also hasn't been proof read yet, I'll also get to this later.

He thought it wouldn’t bother him, but it did. You plagued his thoughts like some sick joke. Everytime he closed his eyes, all he could see was you. Legs spread open with your hands pinned above your head as he pounded into you. Your sweet cries begging for him to wait so that you could compose yourself. Or the way you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him deeper in and your nails digging into the skin on his back. He had begun to yearn for it, it was an itch he could not scratch. Not even when he would wrap his fist around his cock to relieve the desire he had. 

He had had a taste of you and it would not go away. It was intoxicating to hear you whimper his name, or to have breathed in your scent. Even if he had done it to tease you it had come back to bite him in the ass. Even now it was aggravating to see you leaving his side. As you had ignored him since that day, and throughout the whole ceremony. You avoided looking him in the eye. And now he watched you closely as you made your way around the hall. Flashing a smile to your house, making sure that you were being attentive to your guest. Even as you had decided to sit with them rather than him. 

Were you punishing him? Was that what this was? 

But how could you know what his desires were if he was so closed off. 

He had a hint of jealousy as you spoke to someone, a man. Perhaps a childhood friend from the North, one of the Umbers or the Karstarks. He watched as you laughed with them. As he picked up his drink he watched as your head turned and out of the crowd of people your eyes found his. He maintained eye contact watching as your smile faded but composed yourself when you looked back to the man you spoke with. 

He didn’t understand why it bothered him so much as he watched you accept the hand of the man as he led you to the floor. His blood seething as he saw the two of you dance. 

Alicent watched as her son stood up and made his way over to the center. Confused as she tried to see what her son was heading towards. Even more so when she saw him take your hand away from the Umber boy. She had never seen him act like this, it was different than his usual antics. 

You had felt an almost forced jerk. Turning around stood Aemond, he had looked down at you. “Husband.” 

“Wife.” 

He had averted his eyes from you to look at the Umber boy, “I’d like a dance with my Lady Wife.”

“Yes, of course Prince Aemond.” The Umber boy returned back to his seat in a hurry. 

“Does my Lady wife prefer to dance with Lords rather than her husband?” He could say he was joking but his tone was nowhere near that. 

You stayed silent as you danced around. Aemond grows more upset and squeezes your hand for a response. 

“If you think hurting me is going to get much of a response out of me, think again husband.” 

“Yet you spoke did you not?” 

“You are insufferable.” 

“They only insufferable one is you wife” 

“Me? Please husband. You have been unpleasant since the moment we met.” 

“I have been nothing but pleasant to you.”

“So does that mean you treat people worse than me?”

“You said it yourself. I am a kinslayer. I have killed my own blood. I have burned the riverlands. I would say my behavior to you has been pleasant.” 

You say nothing as you try to separate yourself from him but can not as he holds a tight grip at your waist. 

“Will you leave me alone!” You hissed at him and yanked yourself from him. You once again found yourself walking fast through the corridors. 

All this did not go unnoticed Alicent had watched as the two began to quarrel. She watched as her son went storming out after his new bride. She began to try and distract their guest from the situation in hopes that everyone was too drunk to remember what happened. But to the guest that questions where the newlyweds were she made the excuse that they had already left to get started on their consummation.

“You are my wife. Where do you think you are going without my permission?” Aemond yelled as he got closer to you. 

Before you could respond you felt your wrist being tugged into a room. Aemond pins you to the door, “I have been patient with you for two days. I have let you ignore me. I have let you throw your little temper tantrum. But that is enough.” 

“Temper Tantrum? My anger with you was completely justified. You made me seem like a whore. What if your mother was not the woman she was? What if she had not known what kind of son she had. I would have been sentenced to death for your reckless behavior.” 

Aemond wraps his hand against your throat, “Do you know how much you have tortured me?” He leaned down to place a kiss against your lips. It was aggressive, desperate, as if he needed it to breathe. He pressed his body against yours, but as you tried to push him away you could feel his boner against your thigh. As much as he angered you, you could not help but melt into the kiss. 

He began to kiss down your neck taking in your scent. The scent he longed for. He began to lift up the skirt of your wedding dress as he placed his thigh between your legs. Your cunt just placed on his thigh, it had begun to ache for his touch. Your body had begun to move at will, grinding itself onto his thigh, he groaned and began to unbutton your dress. He had undressed you completely as he found himself kissing down your body. He placed a nipple in his mouth, sucking before moving lower. He had reached your stomach placing small kisses before he got to what he had been longing for. Your cunt, he lapped at it as if it was the most delicious thing in his entire life. As if nothing has ever tasted as sweet as your cunt, as if he had been starving for years. He lifted one of your legs over his shoulder, to balance yourself you placed one hand on his shoulder and the other hand gripped onto his hair. 

“Aemond please.” 

You place a hand under his chin to signal him to come back up. He cups your face as you begin to remove his clothes. Once they were off he turned you around and bent you over. The sight was better than he imagined. The way your curves looked in the lightly lit room. The way your hair fell against your back. He didn’t want to waste any minute. He aligned himself at your entrance and pushed in. Your walls were tight but they were slick enough to move. Each thrust becomes more desperate and harder. He pulled you back against his chest as he sucked on your neck, harder than he had last time. His other hand reached down to your cunt. 

“Aemond” Your moans were like music to him. 

He turned you around and lifted you up using the wall to help him keep you up. He could feel you coming undone. He could feel you tighten around him. He watched your face as tears of overstimulation rolled down your face. He kissed you once more to muffle your moans. You bit his lip hard pulling on it. It was enough to send him over the edge as he came inside you. 

“My god.” 

You both turn around in a panic and see Aegon lying there on his bed having been woken from the last few moans. 

Aemond quickly stood in front of you to hide what he could. 

“And I didn’t think you ever had it in you brother.” 

[carakook]

Bloom. °˖✧✿✧˖°

“Sorry, I assumed he was your boyfriend because of the way you were tongue fucking outside. My bad.”

→ Chapters list ←

⚘7. Two Petals on the Same Flower

🔞For Mature Audiences Only🔞

◤──•~❉᯽❉~•──◥

⚘Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader ⚘Synopsis: After your unexpected reunion with Jungkook, you must go on with the night and act completely normal... but shit just keeps going wrong. Surely Jeon Jungkook is a demon. ⚘Genre:Forbidden love ⚘Word count: 11.5k+ ⚘Warnings: 18+ for mature audiences only, MDNI, emotional, mentions of anxiety, mentions of sex, angst, conflict, religious metaphors (the story is not religious but makes references to a higher power, karma, fate, etc.), cigarette use, alcohol use, subtle arguing, jealousy, bullying? (fucking Sena), heavy tension, cheating, mentions of cheating, mentions of falling out of love/breaking up. Let me know if I miss anything! ⚘Disclaimer: This story in no way reflects the characters of those who are mentioned. It is pure fiction and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Nothing is real in this story. ⚘A/N: WOW OK SORRY I AM A DAY LATE BUT I HAD ISSUES WITH THE 4096 ERROR, I FIGURED OUT A LOOPHOLE WHICH CONSISTED OF ME COPYING AND PASTING THIS INTO A WORD DOCUMENT, OPENING IT ON MY PHONE, AND THEN COPYING AND PASTING IT AGAIN IN THE APP. ANYWAYS. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I am sorry for the lack of uploads. Please forgive me if there are any typos. Already working on chapter 8! Things are picking up, how do you think things will go? LOVE YOU!

◣──•~❉᯽❉~•──◢

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ :

♪ Secrets - The Weeknd

♪ Guilty - TaeMin

♪ Agora Hills - Doja Cat

♪ Pacify Her - Melanie Martinez

♪ if u think i’m pretty - Artemas

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 It’s incredibly rare for you to smoke, as it isn’t exactly a healthy habit to form… Seojoon hates it, and you grew up watching adults do it all around you, swearing you would never pick up the same habit…

And although it isn’t a habit for you… sometimes you just need a fucking cigarette.

You never used to smoke, but Jungkook introduced you to it. Of course he did. On one of the nights you spent with him a long time ago, he went for a smoke outside. You remember scolding him for the nasty habit, telling him you don’t want to kiss him and taste burnt tobacco rather than his own pretty taste. But then he explained how relaxing it can be, how it’s ok to do things like this in moderation. Bad habits don’t make you a bad person, he said. It’s a quick fix for anxiety in some cases. So, you tried you it… and you realized that maybe he was right. You’re an adult, you’re allowed to indulge sometimes, even if it isn’t the best for you. And as much as you hate admitting it, Jungkook was fucking sexy when he smoked.

So, you started smoking too. Not often of course, only socially or when you needed to calm your nerves. An occasional indulgence, if you will…

Much like the kiss you shared with Jungkook moments ago.

You stayed behind after he went back inside, because there was no fucking way you could keep composed in front of everyone after that. Your lips were fucking swollen from the way he kissed you anyway, he left them pink and glossy with traces of him all over you. You remembered you kept an emergency pack of cigs in your bag, one that you haven’t touched in months, and you indulged.

You needed to get your shit together before facing everyone again. Needed to calm the fuck down and put your mask back on; that pretty, pretty mask, decorated in flowers and glitter, hiding the wilting flower growing underneath it. The flower you didn’t even realize was still there. The flower that you swore died when he left.

A cigarette was really the only way you could cope in the moment, and little did you know, Jungkook stepped out back to indulge just like you. Two peas in a fucking pod; or maybe two petals on the same flower.

You weren’t the only one holding on by a thread thanks to this little reunion. He was just better at pretending… fuck, has been pretending for months now. And tonight, he fears he may have a hard time keeping up the façade. Seeing you has awoken something inside of him that was long dormant, a slew of emotions he has no idea how to process. He needs to get his shit together just as much as you do, or he fears he may do something impulsive and stupid… if he knew his reaction to you would have been this strong, he probably would not have come tonight. But he just needed to see you again; his lilac aster, who isn’t much of an aster anymore…

His beautiful flower. Your biggest nightmare.

After smoking, you re-applied your lip stain for the second time, doused a bit more perfume on yourself, and practiced smiling in the car mirror like an idiot. Realized you have been gone far longer than you should have been considering you were only supposed to be grabbing your purse, so you try to act cool and nonchalant as you walk back inside. As if it was totally normal for you to spend 20 minutes outside when you were just doing a simple task.

You’ll just blame it on the anxiety, which isn’t a full on lie…

And as you glance across to the living room while removing your shoes… Seojoon isn’t there.

Neither is Sena or Jungkook.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

This reminds you precisely as to why you called things off with Jungkook. You fucking kissed him out there, and now you’re paranoid someone saw. Was it Yoongi? Did he fucking tattle tell like a rat? You know he saw something, there is no way he didn’t with the way he stared at you when coming to get Jungkook.

“In the kitchen.”

You flinch hard when you here the deep voice address you, turn to the side to see Yoongi leaning on the door frame in the hallway. Looks like the fucking Chesire Cat, the way he’s smiling with an almost mischievous look in his eyes.

“Sorry?”

You respond stupidly, because he caught you by surprise, and you were wondering where three people were, not one. You should only be wondering where one of those people are, that is, if your conscious was clean. But it isn’t. ‘Guilty’ may as well be written across your forehead.

Yoongi knows better.

He shakes his head as he huffs out a little laugh, a laugh that doesn’t sound humorous at all, but almost sarcastic. “Your friend, he’s in the kitchen. Sena too. Said they were talking about some work shit.”

The way he refers to Seojoon as your friend is intentional. He could see the discomfort on your face when he called himself your boyfriend, just as much as he can see the guilt right now.

“Ahh, ok.” You mumble, nodding your head as you shuffle to your feet. You give him the most awkward smile, and then move to make your way to the kitchen. If you weren’t so guilty, you would probably feel incredibly uncomfortable at the thought of Seojoon being alone in the kitchen with Sena. But as of right now, it’s the human fucking cat making you uncomfortable.

“Your boyfriend went for a smoke, if you were wondering. He’s grilling the pork belly outside too. Looked pretty fucked when he came back inside.”

You freeze, because… boyfriend? Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Now he decides to throw the word around?

Does he know?

“Sorry?” You say again, turning to look at him with what was supposed to be a confused expression, but your eyes say it all. Guilt. Caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Bad, bad, bad.

He snickers at this, because he can tell your mind is reeling with thoughts about who might know. No one knows… other than him. See, Yoongi and Jungkook are close. Yoongi is who Jungkook goes to when he needs advice from someone who won’t be biased, someone who will tell him like it is, call him out on his bullshit. Yoongi is the only other soul who knows about the sins committed between you and Jungkook. He is well acquainted with the secret garden built between you two, much like Sohee is.

Everyone needs someone to tell their secrets to, after all.

Yoongi knew what was happening tonight. Jungkook told him, and Yoongi tried really hard to talk him out of coming. Tried to talk some sense into the idiot’s head, but he knew damn well Jungkook wouldn’t listen. Once Jungkook sets his mind to something, he can’t be stopped. So, Yoongi vowed he would at least attempt to keep the peace tonight, keep Jungkook in check.

Yoongi is also just really fucking good at reading people. Can tell easily when someone is lying. Can look at someone and guess what their trauma is. Always has been a perceptive man… but he’s also great at keeping secrets. A blessing and a curse.

Never one to judge, but always one to tell you when you’re being a shitty person.

And… Yoongi really likes fucking with people.

“Sorry, I assumed he was your boyfriend because of the way you were tongue fucking outside. My bad.”

You flinch again because, holy fuck, he did see. Why was he even watching? Is he about to blow your cover? Blackmail you? Scream to the top of lungs ‘they’re dirty cheaters!’

“He is not my boyfriend. Never has been.”

Not a lie, for once. Never was your boyfriend. Was… fuck. You don’t even know what he was.

Lover. Soulmate. Flower boy. Florist. Garden keeper. Guilty pleasure. A fucking demon who you cant escape, apparently.

Yoongi scoffs at you, because he hates this game. Sure, he wants to fuck with you, make you squirm a bit. Doesn’t like the fact that you showed up here for the first time to meet everyone and end up outside making out with someone you acted like you didn’t know. Thinks if you’re going to fuck up, do something that fucking risky, you may as well grow balls and admit to it when confronted.

He clearly knows, so he sees no reason for you to be defending yourself and deflecting. He gets it, he does, and he isn’t judging either of you. But fuck, don’t make him say it out loud.

He will if he has to. But he doesn’t want to throw that awful ‘M’ word around. Calling him your boyfriend is far less heavy than him voicing what he really was to you, or what you were to him.

“Right… well, I’m not here to start shit. I’m not here to tell everyone either, no one else is aware of your… situation. I’m just here to make sure Kook doesn’t act fucking stupid… so please, do us both a favor, and just… don’t.”

You feel your heartrate pickup and that familiar heat all over your body that comes with being called out. Like a scolded child. You’re getting both irritated and nervous. The only reassuring thing he just said was that he isn’t going to tell anyone… but why is he putting the blame on you?

If you knew Jungkook was going to be here, you wouldn’t have come. And you tried to avoid him, fuck, you went outside specifically to get away from him and get your head straight. But he followed you, of course he did, the love sick stray dog he’s become couldn’t help it.

“Scold him. Not me. If you’ll excuse me…”

Yoongi knows he’s coming off a bit harsh, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t know the details of your fucked up affair with him, he just knows the basics. One drunken night recently is when Jungkook confessed, after he found out you were dating Seojoon. Told Yoongi the basics of what happened and how it ended, and how fucked he still is. Yoongi always knew something was eating Jungkook up that went beyond his rocky marriage, and finding out exactly what it was… it made sense.

He doesn’t ever want to see Jungkook in such a bad spot again. So anguished and full of regret and yearning… he’s only trying to protect him, because even if he is the one being stupid, he’s still one of Yoongi’s dearest friends.

Biased? No. But he will do whatever it takes to lessen the messes Jungkook makes of himself, even if that means being a bit harsh towards you.

And you, you’re reeling. You want to ask Yoongi so many questions, such as how he knows, why he knows, if he hates you automatically after knowing who you are and what you’ve done. It definitely strikes you as odd that Yoongi is aware of who you are, because even if he knew about what happened between you and Jungkook, how would he automatically catch on to the fact it was you? Was it the kiss? Did that give it away..?

Or was this all pre-meditated?

So many questions, but now is not the time for answers. Maybe eventually you can ask, but as of now, you have a role to play; Seojoons perfect girlfriend, apparently.

So you once again, begin walking towards the kitchen.

“One more thing Y/N…”

Can he please just shut the fuck up and disappear?

“Hm?”

“Be so fucking careful around Sena. And I’m not talking about with Jungkook.”

Before you can even ask, he’s gone. You turn to question him, ask him why the fuck he’s being so cryptic, demand he just say what he means… but he’s gone. Chesire fucking cat.

You really don’t like what he said or how it made you feel, because… if not with Jungkook, then what? Why would you possibly need to be careful around that snake?

You huff. Run your fingers through your hair as you feel a migraine start to come on. Fuck, you need a drink, because the nicotine is already wearing off.

You finally end up making your way into the kitchen, but pause once you reach the entryway. See Sena and Seojoon… whispering.

You don’t like that either. What the fuck are they whispering about?

Sena looks irritated as fuck, waving her hands around animatedly as she speaks. Seojoon is looking down at her with an expression that mimics worry, and you try really hard to decipher what they’re saying before you’re noticed.

Fuck you wish tonight was over already. Too much shit is going wrong.

“They’re conspiring against us.”

You jump a little when you feel hot breath in your ear, hear the deep whisper of the man who’s been haunting your dreams for the last six months. You hate how the simple act of him whispering in your ear brings back several memories… all of them incredibly inappropriate.

“What?”

You look up at him as you ask, and he has a shit eating grin on his face. His pupils are still blown to shit, you wonder if its because he’s looking at you again or if they jus haven’t calmed down since the kiss. He smells heavily of smoke, cigarette smoke and charcoal, but fuck the way it mixes with his cologne…

Nope. Stop.

“Oh—I—Y/N. Sorry, I didn’t notice you. How long have you been standing there?”

Seojoon addresses you almost robotically, looking between you and Jungkook as you both stand awkwardly in the doorway of the kitchen. Immediately, alarm bells ring in your ear. You wonder why he’s even asking that, what they were talking about to warrant a question like that.

But you cant decipher whether this is a gut feeling, or guilt making you project your wrongdoings onto him. That’s what fucks you up the most; a woman’s intuition is rarely wrong, but how can you tell when you’re the guilty one?

You clear your throat, step to the side a bit to gain some distance from Jungkook. Can’t think straight when he’s all warm and smelling like a fucking lumberjack next to you.

“Uh… I just came in a bit ago, sorry I took so long, just really needed some air… what were you talking about?”

The entire time you speak, everyone’s eyes are on you. You can’t read the emotion on Seojoon’s face, it’s almost like he’s purposely masking it. Jungkook doesn’t even fucking try to hide how intensely he’s looking at you. And Sena… well, her look of disdain just grows.

Seojoon chuckles, shakes his head as he walks towards you, drapes his arm around your shoulder and pulls you in as he nods towards Sena.

“We were just talking about work, me and Sena are working on a project together but I haven’t had time to visit her at the office, so I thought it was great timing. Right Sena?”

He looks at Sena with the same expressionless look, and she doesn’t look at him at all. Her eyes are on you.

“Right.” She replies flatly before making her way beside Jungkook, who barely reacts to her linking their arms together.

Odd, in the way she seems so territorial… not just of him, but everything surrounding her. Including Seojoon.

Don’t like that. Not at all.

Seojoon nods awkwardly and then begins dragging you along towards the dining table, but stops when he moves to kiss your temple… looks at you, scrunches his nose up as he leans in to sniff you.

Fuck. Does he smell Jungkook?

You tense up a bit, wait for him to ask you why you smell like another man all of a sudden. Start praying that you will simply drop dead before you can even answer.

“Did you smoke or something? You smell like smoke, I hate it.”

Fuck… the smoke. Not the cologne, but the smoke.

You hate how relieved you feel knowing you haven’t been caught, although you are a bit offended. Hate how he addresses you like some unruly child in the moment.

You’re about to answer, say something snarky, but of course—

“Sorry man, that must be me. Was smoking and grilling the pork belly outside, must’ve rubbed off on your girl.”

Could he have worded it any worse?

Seojoon nods at Jungkook, regards him casually. He squeezes your shoulder before letting go and arching a playful brow at Jungkook.

“Ah, ok. But please, don’t rub off on my girlfriend, yeah?”

He chuckles before nodding towards the dining room, signaling for you to come with. In any other situation, you would have laughed at the dirty joke. But obviously, not right now, not when you still taste him on your lips, not while you’re remembering the several instances where Jungkook actually rubbed off on you, not while he’s standing right beside you.

If only he—

“If only he knew.”

Jungkook whispers as he passes you, turns around and walks backwards with his tongue sticking out and eyebrows wiggling up and down. Fuck, like he read your fucking mind. You have no idea how he can fucking say that right now, what if someone hears him? He’s being stupid, just as Yoongi said, and you aren’t even provoking him. You’re worried he’s going to get you both caught.

It's at that moment that Sena brushes past you, bumps your shoulder, which you are sure is intentional. She enters the dining room, doesn’t even say sorry, and quite frankly, you don’t care. You don’t have the energy for her petty shit, or for trying to dissect why she’s so weird with you and Seojoon. You have bigger problems, problems decorated in piercings and tattoos.

You grunt at him and roll your eyes, move to brush past him as you mumble simply, “Fucking stop.”

He playfully pouts at you, follows you into the dining room and says low enough for your ears only, “Fiiine I swear I’ll behave the rest of the night.”

You ignore him once you get into the dining room, put your mask back on quickly. Smile at everyone as they greet you warmly. Urge you to take a seat and join them for food. The smell of freshly grilled pork belly and many sides wafts through the air, and even then your appetite isn’t present. The only thing swirling in your stomach are fucking butterflies; or worms and flies, you don’t know anymore.

But you don’t make it obvious, instead you take a seat next to Seojoon, who has already made you a hefty plate of food. You thank him, and begin picking at it as you try to decipher what everyone is chatting about.

Until you feel a familiar warmth beside you again… and you swear to god, you are about to whack him with your fucking purse.

You immediately glare at Jungkook for taking a seat directly beside you, his big ass is so close that his thigh presses against yours. He holds his hand up in surrender, makes a pouty face at you.

“Hey! I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear, it’s the only open seat.”

You scoff at him, look around the table because you are fully prepared to call him out on his bullshit… but he’s actually telling the truth. You realize the table isn’t exactly the biggest, and every seat is taken except for the one he’s at. Sena is on his other side, so it makes sense for him to be sitting there… he isn’t lying.

Ah, ok, you just have absolute shit luck. Right. Got it.

You glare at him a second longer before averting your eyes, staring directly in front of you now… where Yoongi sits. Oh, how lovely. His eyebrow is raised as if to silently say ‘You’re both being stupidly obvious.’

You look away quickly, shoveling a bite of food into your mouth to try and distract yourself from how wrong everything is going. You’re thankful that only three people in the room are aware of it, but also… fuck. You really hate having to pretend when all you want to do is fucking scream.

Thank god for alcohol.

Because as the night goes on, you shamelessly drink as if it’ll be your last. You know how to handle your liquor, so you don’t overdue it, but you drink enough to silent your overthinking brain. In your tipsy state, it’s much easier to laugh along with the jokes being told or to join in on the conversation… it’s also much easier to ignore the thorn in your side.

Easy to ignore the way his eyes are constantly on you. Easy to ignore how every time you laugh, he mimics you. Easy to ignore how every time you speak, he pays such close attention that his mouth traces the words coming from your own. Easy to ignore how he’s subtly shifted closer to you throughout the little potluck dinner.

Easy for you to ignore, but impossible for him.

See, he’s torn. He hasn’t felt so fucking happy in such a long time, simply just being in the same room as you has him on cloud nine. But, fuck, he wishes you would acknowledge him. The fact that you’re ignoring him as if he doesn’t exist has made him grow a bit antsy… maybe even irritable underneath the euphoria he feels from being so close to you again.

So, so close… but still so far away.

Everyone is done eating now, most of the food is gone. Of course, your mac and cheese was a hit, and the pork belly went great with it. Everyone else had dishes just as delicious… with the exception of Sena, who brought a fucking salad full of spinach and kale.

You fight the urge to laugh at the fact the bowl is still full.

Now, everyone is enjoying dessert, the vibe is mellow. Of course you’re still on edge, but it’s easier to manage, because Jungkook really has been behaving. Other than the occasional ‘accidental’ touch, he hasn’t provoked you.

Taehyung, being the gracious host that he is, brewed a fresh pot of English tea to go with dessert. He was hell-bent on dipping the cookies you made in tea, said it was the perfect combo, and nothing is more soothing than a hot cup of tea. Everyone is so kind, with the exception of Sena, and they’ve all been very open and loving towards you. Even Yoongi has talked to you some, didn’t make it weird at all. Maybe he isn’t as bad as you thought… You are silently thankful for how much things have calmed down since the earlier shit show.

But of course, the calm always comes before the storm.

Jungkook was full of euphoria, even if he was irritable at the fact he couldn’t openly adore you… until he saw Seojoon’s hand gripping your thigh. If you’re being honest, you haven’t even noticed, alcohol always makes you a bit oblivious to things like that especially when you’re engaging in conversation with others. But Jungkook, oh, Jungkook noticed… and he cannot fucking stand it.

He is well aware that he has no fucking right to feel possessive or irritated with Seojoon’s hands on you; you aren’t his girl, you haven’t seen each other in months, and he knew you were coming here with him as your date. He knows.

But even though he knows, he can’t control how he feels in this moment. How he just wants to rip Seojoon’s hands right off of you, maybe even rip his arms off completely so he can’t touch you again. He feels like he’s gonna turn into the fucking Hulk.

The ugly green monster, big, bad, scary, out of control: Jealousy, an emotion he has never been good at controlling.

He bounces his leg up and down, feeling like he’s gonna crawl out of his skin the more he stares at Seojoon caressing your thigh. Feels like he needs to make him stop, but he can’t just tell him to stop, that would be weird. That would give it all away, and although Jungkook is near the point of not giving a fuck who knows about your shared past… he’s also well aware of how reckless he has been all night.

He knows damn well how reckless it would be to make things so obvious. It’s your secret, too, and he has no right to make it known unless you choose to; and he knows you wouldn’t ever choose that willingly. He wouldn’t either, not here anyway, even if he thinks about it.

But then he sees Seojoon laugh, pick up his cup of luke-warm tea, take a sip, and put it back down.

Gets an idea. An extremely petty one.

Before he can talk himself out of it, he says casually, “Mmm this tea could use some sugar, ‘scuse me…”

He reaches over you towards the sugar cubes, even though there’s a cup of them right in front if him, and he makes a move to grab them. But after grabbing the little cup full of sugar cubes, he ‘accidentally’ knocks Seojoon’s cup of tea off of the table…

Right into your lap, spilling all over you and all over Seojoon’s hand.

Seojoon hisses, yanks his hand away from your thigh. You let out a little squeak, although the tea isn’t piping hot anymore, it’s warm and uncomfortable as it covers your thighs and a portion of your dress.

“What the fuck, man?” Seojoon asks irritably, and honestly is being a little dramatic. He’s cradling his hand as if it burns or hurts, but you know it doesn’t considering it didn’t burn you at all, wasn’t even hot.

You also know this was no accident, judging by that look in Jungkook’s eyes that you’ve seen in the past; the look of satisfaction blended with fake innocence… the same look he used to give you when he would edge the fuck out of you even though you begged him to just let you finish.

You immediately move to grab a napkin, which you half expected Seojoon to do for you, but he’s too busy cradling his hand. Drama king. You begin dabbing at your dress and thighs, shooting Jungkook a glare similar to the one earlier.

He flashes the most innocent, apologetic, fake-ass smile you’ve ever seen, grabs a napkin and starts assisting you in cleaning up the mess on your thighs.

“Ah, I’m so sorry, I’m so clumsy sometimes. Let me help…”

Two things go through your mind; why is Jungkook helping you, but not Seojoon, and holy fuck, he is touching your thighs.

To the rest of the table, who are stuck between scolding Jungkook and checking on you and Seojoon, his touches probably seem clinical; an attempt to help fix his mess… but to you, it feels as if the tea sticking to your skin is suddenly piping hot. His fingers fucking burn when they touch your skin, and it causes goose bumps to raise all over your body.

You shoot him a look, although you aren’t sure of your expression. He makes eye contact, doesn’t dare look away as he slowly wipes the napkin over your skin, dabbing away the liquid until your skin is dry.

That same needy look he used to get when you were on top. Those fucking eyes that beg you for anything, everything, suck you in. It’s as if he’s silently saying, ‘please let me touch, I’ll do anything.’

You hate yourself at this moment, the alcohol somehow doesn’t dim down the sensations of his fingers in your skin. You wonder why when Seojoon was caressing your thigh, you barely noticed… yet this small touch from Jugkook is setting you alight in a way you haven’t been in so fucking long.

Why are you even thinking about these things? Why are you remembering these things about him? They’re all supposed to be buried in the soil along with your dead flower. Is the flower still alive? Has it somehow survived these months of anguish and healing?

Did you ever heal at all? Did you ever truly get over him, or did you just get better at not thinking about him every second of the day?

Fuck. This is a mess. The way he’s looking at you doesn’t help, and what's worse is you cannot look away. Your thighs are dry now, and he dabs uselessly at the wet spot on your dress as his other hand boldly reaches up and skims the side of your leg… what the fuck is he doing? At a table full of people?!

You don’t even realize that Seojoon is now arguing petulantly with Taehyung. Oh, sweet Taehyung, who is being just as dramatic as Seojoon, fretting over his hand as if it’s the end of the fucking world that Jungkook spilled luke-warm tea on him.

“Jungkook-ah, say you’re sorry! You could’ve hurt him, him and his pretty hands!”

That snaps Jungkook out of it, the needy look leaving his face quickly as he snatches both hands away from you as if you are the one burning him now. He won’t even look at you.

Because he just almost lost control. Genuinley, he was not paying attention to those around you both. He got fucking sucked into another dimension, full of flashbacks, pictures of flowers and your face, and all he fucking wanted was to touch.

As much of a little shit as he is being, he doesn’t want that. He feels crazy. Just scared himself a little bit.

He glares at Taehyung and then addresses Seojoon, “My apologies hyung, was an honest accident. Is your hand ok?”

Seojoon nearly wants to scoff at the use of the honorific because something feels so fake about it… because it is fake. Meant to butter him up and make him believe Jungkook didn’t just purposely spill some tea all over him out of jealousy.

Luckily, Seojoon is none the wiser. He’s just irritated with Jungkook in general… for other reasons that don’t exactly involve you or Jungkook directly at all.

“It’s fine, I’m fine. Just didn’t expect it…”

Seojoon mumbles as he realizes you also got drenched in tea. He looks down, notices you’re already as clean as you can be, and is thankful he doesn’t have to fret over you too. His mood is a bit soured now, but even then he nudges you and gives you a small smile.

“You good baby? Didn’t ruin your dress, did you?”

You nod at him, try to hide how shaky your hands are as you straighten the hem of your dress to cover your thighs. You feel a bit too exposed, your skin still burning from the intensity of Jungkook’s touch… begin to wonder if he has turned into poison ivy, rather than a flower.

You can’t recall him being quite this intense in the past. Lot’s of unanswered questions go through your head again.

You nod at Seojoon and smile, “I’m good, it’ll come out if I wash it. No worries.”

You let out a deep breathe, and Seojoon goes back to talking to Tae about some work thing. You look up through your lashes, make eye contact with the Chesire cat.

His expression is unreadable, which is unsettling for reasons you don’t understand. You wish you knew how much he knew… did he see Jungkook touching you again?

“You should be more careful, you’re really like a child sometimes, it’s exhausting.”

Your head snaps up to the sound of that grating female voice, and you feel another surge of irritation. Sena, speaking to Jungkook like that… oh, it pisses you off almost as he does.

What he did was childish, and you’ll pull him aside to scold him later probably, but why is she saying something like that in front of everyone? Isn’t that embarrassing? It is, it’s fucking humiliating. If Seojoon said some shit like that to you, you’d walk out.

Jungkook’s friends don’t know the exact issues in his marriage, but they’re used to this kind of thing. They know it is far from perfect, and have become accustomed to Sena’s behavior. They always make sure to check on him when she’s not around, but he always tells them to mind their business.

It doesn’t change the fact that it’s always a bit awkward when they overhear it.

Jungkook just rolls his eyes, because he doesn’t care anymore. Nods at her. Agrees with her, even. If he doesn’t, she’ll just argue, and he doesn’t really have the energy for that right now. Not when he still has the lingering feeling of your skin on the tips of his fingers, or the satisfaction he feels at the fact Seojoon hasn’t even attempted to touch your thigh again.

Messy, but… Mission accomplished.

You, however, it isn’t so easy for you to let go. You aren’t accustomed to her behavior like him and his friends, and you don’t plan to be.

“It’s fine, really, accidents happen.”

You shoot her a tight smile, try to be polite and reassuring… and she scoffs, rolls her eyes, and then waves a fucking hand at you.

“See? That’s something a mom would say to their kid if they spilled something. Even our new friend is talking to you like a child Jungkook, do better.”

You swear you feel your eye start to twitch.

“Sena, enough. I get it. My bad.”

Jungkook tries to get her to shut up, can tell you’re getting irritated. Part of him secretly likes it, the fact that you hate his guts right now but still try to defend his honor. But he’s also embarrassed because you’re finally seeing what his wife is like.

He wishes he was proud of his wife, but when shit like this happens? He’s anything but.

You try really hard not to start seething at her. You nearly want to jump across the table and pull her blonde fucking hair.

“No, I’m not speaking to him like a child, I’m stating the fact that accidents do happen and it’s nothing to get bitchy over. You’re the only one addressing a grown man as if he’s a child over something so small, Sena.”

“Excuse me???”

You know that scene in Mean Girls when the cafeteria turns into a jungle, and everyone starts fighting? It feels like that’s about to happen.

“Alright! Who wants more margaritas?! I do!”

Hoseoks voice carries across the table, clapping his hands with the brightest smile on his face, sounding a lot cheerier than he should in your opinion. But thankfully, it works. Clearly everyone heard you, and now you’re embarrassed. You just inadvertently called this woman a bitch over a man everyone presumes you met tonight for the very first time. You’re certain you’ve just made yourself look bad, could have handled yourself a lot better. But, fuck, you couldn’t help it. You hated hearing her speak to him that way and then try to make it as if you agreed with her! You tried to be nice, but she fucking pushed it.

“No thanks. My apologies.”

You bow your head slightly, and Hoseok just keeps that smile on his face. Rushes over to Sena’s side, badgering her to go in the kitchen and help him make more drinks. She groans at him, but gets up with an eyeroll and follows him.

You have a feeling that he did that specifically to get her away from you, and you’re unsure if that’s in your favor or hers. Fuck. Way too much shit has happened tonight.

You glance around the table, notice Jin and Namjoon are gone, must gave gone outside or maybe in the living room. Seojoon and Taehyung are in their own little world, you wonder if they even heard the little argument… and if they did, why hasn’t Seojoon said anything? God, you hope he isn’t mad now, although you wouldn’t blame him if he were.

That’s when you look straight ahead. Yoongi again. And he has the littlest smirk on his face… except this time, it almost seems genuine, not sarcastic or misplaced.

It's full of respect, because you just did the one thing everyone else around you refuses to fucking do for Jungkooks sake, which is speak up against Sena and her shitty attitude.

That’s the moment that you decide that you don’t regret it, and you don’t care if Seojoon is mad. If Yoongi, the man who apparently knows bits and pieces of your deepest darkest secret, is looking at you like that? Then you know you did the right thing. You’re a little proud, even.

You nod to Yoongi, a silent exchange between you two. Then you look beside you, and see Jungkook, with that needy expression on his face again. He’s sitting with his elbow propped on the table, his chin resting in his palm. Looks like he’s drunk, cheeks red, eyes heavy, lips a bit pouty… but he only had one beer.

He is drunk. Drunk on you, on the way you just defended him in front of everyone against his fucking wife. Nearly got hard because of it, which is why his cheeks are so flushed. He never expects the guys to defend him, in fact, makes it clear that they stay out of it when her attitude flares up. But you, oh you… You met her for the first time tonight, met everyone here for the first time tonight, and even in a room full of people you’re trying to impress… you defended him.

You still love him, he just knows it. He knows deep down inside, you must fucking love him. If you really hated him, you wouldn’t have done that.

He almost feels giddy at the knowledge.

You have a hard time looking away once again, you’re amazed that no one has noticed how intensely you both have locked eyes several times tonight. Jungkook just has that effect on you, he’s fucking beautiful, and the way he looks at you is enough to make you weak to this fucking day. Drives you mad with conflict.

And as you stare at him, you finally notice the little purple star patches on his face. Looks just like the ones you use… you wonder where the fuck yours even went, now that you think about it. Haven’t seem them in months.

You point to his cheek and mumble almost stupidly, “Those look exactly like the ones I used to use.”

He hums in response, sticks his tongue in cheek. Fights a grin, because if only you knew he fucking stole these from you the night he left.

Maybe he’ll confess one day.

“Weird,” is all he says in response.

He stares at you some more, like you he can’t look away. Looking at you, being near you, is the equivalent to a thirsty man finally getting a few sips of water. He was fucking thirsty, and his eyes drink you in as if you’re water straight from the spring.

He mouths the word ‘pretty,’ at you, uses a finger to point at your face and then your dress. Whispers, “So pretty.”

Fuck. You are going to die. You are going to have a heart attack.

“Jungkook, I’m ready to go home.”

Ok, maybe you won’t die, because you’re interrupted again… or maybe you will fucking die for that very reason.

Butterflies again. Not worms and flies. Butterflies.

Sena is staring at Jungkook with an irritated expression, her arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed grumpily. Seems Hoseok’s margaritas didn’t sway her or improve her mood, seems you ruined her mood for the rest of the night, seems she’s the fucking child after all…

You just hope your little outburst doesn’t cause problems for Jungkook at home.

“Alright.” Jungkook says flatly, eyes still never leaving you.

You wonder if she notices. That thought alone makes you finally look away.

Seojoon eyes Sena almost wearily, but his gaze shifts to you once he realizes you’re staring back. He gives you a tight lipped smiled.

“We should get going too, you ready?”

You nod at him, because as much as you really would enjoy staying to chat, or making love with your eyes at Jungkook, you are fucking exhausted. Emotionally, anyway. Tonight has been so unnecessarily dramatic and you just want to go to sleep. You want to be able to take a shower, sit in there until the water runs cold, maybe cry a little, and process all of the shit that has happened tonight.

“Yeah, getting a little tired. Must be the alcohol.”

Or maybe it’s the headache staring at you like a sad dog right now.

You get up, force yourself to not look at Jungkook as he gets up as well. He nearly pouts, but he also thinks right now is a good time to wrap it up… although a sense of dread fills him at the thought of not seeing you again.

He won’t let that be an option. Nope.

You make your way to the living room where most of the guys have gathered, say your goodbyes. Each of them insist on hugging you, thanking you for coming. Taehyung especially, gives you the biggest fucking bear hug and makes you agree to hangout again, says he adores you, begs you to make him more cookies.

Seojoon is less than pleased with this, but tries not to show it. Tries not to feel threatened or jealous… tries not to feel guilty about the fact his own head was a bit all over the place tonight. Was barely paying attention to you after the whole girlfriend fiasco, if he’s being honest. Was worried Sena may start shit…

You don’t need to know that, though.

Yoongi is the only one who doesn’t hug you, which you don’t mind. Would feel far too awkward giving this mysterious man a hug. But he does offer you a head nod and a lip purse, so that’s something, right?

You don’t say goodbye to Sena, although Seojoon did say goodbye in both of your behaves.

You don’t say goodbye to Jungkook either. Don’t know if you can stomach uttering the words ‘goodbye’ again. Makes you feel all kinds of fucked up, so you just… don’t.

But of course, he won’t have that. Absolutely not.

Because right as you are following Seojoon out the door after putting on your ‘thrifted’ coat and shoes, he grabs your arm, pulls you back in. You let out a huff of air and yank your arm away. Not that the touch makes you uncomfortable, but… him touching you at all is causing some very confusing feelings, just like when he ‘accidentally’ spilled Seojoon’s tea and then cleaned you up after.

“You didn’t say bye. And you forgot your purse at the table.”

He states simply, handing you your purse and then sticking his hands in his pocket politely as he rocks back and forth on his heels.

Giving you that same fucking look. It’s so subtle, but his eyes practically beg you to at least say goodbye to him.

He's gonna make this hard, isn’t he?

You nod at him awkwardly and sling your purse over your shoulder. Fail to realize that it’s a bit lighter than it was when you originally brought it.

Because Jungkook, being the thief that he apparently is, impulsively took something from it. This time, he doesn’t intend to keep it, quite the opposite actually. See, he knew you would probably refuse to see him after this. He can’t take that. He needed an excuse to see you again, anything, something that you wouldn’t be able to say no to since he is certain you probably won’t even unblock his number after this.

He isn’t even sure what he plans to do when seeing you again. His intentions aren’t necessarily to start things up again, he isn’t that stupid, but… just to be in your life again. He would do anything to be in your life again.

Will do his fucking best to control himself if you do come around and show him mercy.

So… he took your wallet. Yeah, probably a very shitty thing to do. But you need your wallet, and he needs to see you… he can just say you dropped it and he picked it up for you. Maybe you’ll meet him for coffee, take it back, and then he can get on his knees and beg again for you to please, please, please give him another spot in your life.

Maybe it’s reckless, but he has been reckless all night. Maybe he will regret this tomorrow morning.

You don’t know this though, have no clue, completely just done with this shit tonight. Don’t even think to double check and make sure you have all of your belongings before leaving.

So you mutter, “Thanks… see ya.”

And you turn to walk off. Try to ignore how fucking terrible it feels to act so indifferent with him, but you don’t know how else to act after the past, and after the shit he pulled tonight. Reckless is an understatement in your opinion.

He's actually satisfied with this… because ‘see ya,’ implies that you will see him again. Whether it’s a subconscious choice of words, or intentional, he isn’t sure; but it still implies you are at least considering seeing him again.

It makes him smile to himself as he watches you walk off.

“See ya.” He echoes in response.

Now he just needs to figure out a way to contact you when you aren’t face to face, since you’ve blocked his number…

The drive home was fairly quiet, other than Seojoon thanking you for coming. He seemed a bit on edge, didn’t really say much after the vague praise of how well you did with his friends… but you chalked it up to him just being tired. You aren’t sure what the fuck the deal is between him and Sena, but you assume maybe she’s just someone who is very hard to be around. Seojoon works with her, so of course he would be a bit awkward with the way she acted, you wouldn’t want things to be awkward for him at work just because you don’t get along with her.

But also… you find it incredibly odd that he didn’t say anything when you stood up to her. He didn’t scold you, didn’t defend you, didn’t even tell you to watch your mouth. He didn’t bring it up at all… you swore he would. If it were you in his position, you would have stood by him and supported him in speaking up.

But he just said… nothing. Maybe he just doesn’t want to argue, or maybe he didn’t notice it; it’s been a long night, and you’re both full and tired. You’re more tired than him considering you drank a bit heavily, thank god he didn’t drink more than a beer.

Regardless, he takes you back to your place, decides he’s going to sleep over because he’s way too tired to drive back. You sometimes forget the fact that he’s older than you, and nearly make a joke about him being an old man… but decide against it. He seems a little grumpy.

You really just wanted to come home and wallow in your own self pity, but you suppose you will have to put that off.

Besides, this will be a good chance to bring up the fact that he called you his fucking girlfriend. Labeled you without giving you a heads up. And after you deal with that, he can fall asleep, and you can cry into your pillow about fucking flower boy and his antics.

You do take a shower first, although it isn’t two hours long like you wished it was. You stay in there for about 45 minutes before getting out, let the warm water wash over your body as you decompress. Tried not to think too much about those needy eyes or fiery hands.

Key word: tried. And you fucking failed. The moment you started to get aroused at a bunch of unwelcome memories, you turned the water to the coldest setting. Then you got out, dried yourself off, did all the girly thinks like skincare and lotion, and then got dressed. Pretended it didn’t happen.

As you make your way out of the bathroom, you see Seojoon has already made himself comfortable in your bed. He’s dressed down into his boxers, laying on his stomach with his cheek pressed into the pillow. His eyes are closed, but you know he’s not asleep because you can see the stress lining his brows.

Normally such a sight would be comforting… you don’t like sleeping alone. But tonight, you almost wish he went home so that you could have a few moments of peace.

Or maybe so you could have a complete mental breakdown without him being near.

You sigh and make your way to lay beside him on the bed, plug your phone into the charger and then look down at him. Cross your arms as you lean against the headboard, and he can feel you staring at the back of his head, so he turns to face you.

He knows what you’re about to say. Doesn’t want to deal with it, really, but he knows he needs to. So he keeps his mouth shut and waits for you to say it.

“So I’m your girlfriend now?”

There it is.

He shrugs, keeps his eyes closed. Says simply, “Yeah.”

What more is there to say? Do you expect him to apologize for putting that label on your relationship finally, after several months of basically being boyfriend-girlfriend? It’s essentially what you are to begin with, he doesn’t see the big deal. It’s just a stupid label.

And it protects him from losing you. He didn’t like the way Taehyung doted on you, or how Hoseok called you pretty. He needed everyone there to know you were taken… especially that Jungkook guy. He swears he saw him looking at your ass.

(He did, by the way.)

If Seojoon knew the truth behind Jungkook’s little glances, he would probably have had a heart attack. Thank god he doesn’t know, even though you are unaware of the jealousy festering inside of Seojoon.

But that isn’t the only reason he claimed you as his girlfriend, Sena was a huge reason. The guys doting on you was just a bit of a push to get the words out, but he needed Sena to know he was exclusive with you considering she was far too comfortable when she greeted him.

Exclusive for now, anyway. Things between him and Sena are… complicated.

Just like things between you and Jungkook.

And neither of you have a fucking clue.

“Well, we never talked about it so it was pretty off putting to hear you just blurt it out like that. I didn’t like it Seojoon.”

You keep your voice leveled when speaking to him, calm, because you don’t want him to think you’re trying to argue with him… but you also want him to know how you feel. Boundaries and all that.

“Ugh, Y/N, it isn’t that serious. We are basically in a relationship as it is, you’re my girlfriend even without the label. You know it’s true, babe.”

You huff at him, because he doesn’t get it. He isn’t wrong exactly, but… you feel pressured now. The label isn’t the issue, it’s the fact that yesterday you were comfortable with whatever you and Seojoon are; now you’re unsure. A bit nervous, even.

“I get that Seojoon, I do, but you know how I am… I told you I wanted to move slow.”

“Yeah, you wanted to move slow, yet I have a key to your apartment and basically live here. Don’t be so stubborn, just let it be…”

You’re conflicted… because he’s right. You did say you wanted to move slow, yet you contradicted yourself in several ways. You don’t think you lead him on, because you do want to be serious with him… but also, pressure. Pressure, pressure, pressure, and you do not like it.

You begin to speak up, but he cuts you off.

“Baby, just stop overthinking. We just needed a little push, that’s all, and I pushed. Now you’re my girlfriend. As simple as that, yeah?”

He reaches up and pats your cheek lazily before turning on his back and grabbing his phone. You’re speechless momentarily, have no fucking idea how to respond to that. Start to question whether you’re being too uptight or not, because he’s making it sound as if you are. Again, he isn’t wrong… but you feel a bit manipulated. He literally silenced you.

Fuck, you hate this. You don’t hate the idea of being his girlfriend, but the way he’s handling it all is throwing you off completely.

You begin to wonder whether or not seeing Jungkook has anything to do with how fucked you’re feeling about it all. If you hadn’t seen him tonight, would you be more accepting of the new label? More willing to hear Seojoon out? Is this all just you being unreasonable?

Or is Seojoon being a fucking dick?

“I leave at six in the morning tomorrow, quite a few coworkers are joining on the trip. You sure you don’t wanna come? I can buy your ticket and everything.”

“Huh?”

Seojoon breaks you out of your silent thought, speaking of some trip you don’t remember discussing. You’re all over the place really, can’t seem to focus on a single thought at a time, and you kind of hate how he just brushed over the topic expecting you to accept what he said…

… even though you kinda did.

“Work trip to New York? For the fashion convention? It’s only for the weekend, I told you about it last month. You really should come.”

You blink at him, start to vaguely recall him telling you about a trip at some point. He invited you, and you declined because you thought you would be working. Also, you didn’t know how you felt about traveling with him at the time so you thought it was best he went on his own.

Funny how he so easily made you forget the problem at hand, isn’t it?

You realize you actually don’t work this weekend, which is rare. Weekends are normally busiest, all the couples and families come in on the weekends to get in their quality time. But you switched your shifts this weekend to Sohee, because she needed Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off to visit her parents unexpectedly.

Speaking of Sohee, you need to call her and fucking tell her what a mess you’re in. Later, though.

A trip to New York doesn’t sound terrible… you could use the mini vacation, especially after tonight. He wouldn’t offer if he didn’t want you there, and maybe this can warm you up to being his girlfriend, since that’s apparently a thing now. You’ve never really been one for impulsive decisions, but you decide this could be good for both of you. Maybe fate is throwing you a bone, freeing up your schedule like this.

Or maybe fate is fucking with you. You can never be too sure…

Going to New York would mean no chance of seeing flower boy, no reminders of him, just a complete distraction. That’s something you really need right now…

“And you’re sure it isn’t too much trouble? I mean, I don’t work like I thought I did, so I could come… but only if it isn’t too much trouble.”

You nibble your lower lip as you look down at him, and he side eyes you. Gives you the most sheepish look.

“Uh, well… no, no trouble at all considering I already bought a plane ticket for the seat next to mine… Don’t look at me like that! I did it just in case, and I don’t like sitting next to strangers so even if you didn’t come, I had a reason. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. Anyway, yes, please come.”

He gives you a sweet look, fights a laugh. He’s lying, of course. He always intended on you joining him, which is why he bought that second plane ticket… he would have convinced you last minute even if you said no.

You roll your eyes at him, not as irritated as you should be at the gesture because the more you think of a little weekend trip to New York, the more you get excited to get the fuck away for a while.

You reach over and tug his hair playfully, “Ugh, you’re ridiculous… but I’ll come, since you so kindly offered.”

He grins at you, locks his phone and gets more comfortable in the bed. Knowing you’re coming along, and actually seem to be excited about it, is relieving for him. He doesn’t need to do any extra work to coerce you into coming. He gets his way and you remain happy.

“That’s my girl. I’m gonna leave your place at like four, go home to grab my luggage. Taehyung is watching Simba for me. You can pack while I do that, you only need to pack enough to last until Monday.”

You nod at him, “Ok, that sounds good, but you should really take a nap… it’s late and you’ll be tired.”

“Mmm, yeah, guess I should… but I’ll just sleep on the plane. I’ll be fine, long flight.”

You’re thankful that you stay organized because it won’t take you long to pack. Your makeup is already in a bag, and you can just stuff your girly things in your toiletry travel bag… your room is still sort of messy from earlier, but that’s fine. You can pack some clothes quickly in the morning. You feel lighter at the thought that you’re getting to go away for a while, clear your head, so you can’t really find yourself too bothered or stressed at the moment.

As far as sleep, well… you’ve had many sleepless nights the last few months anyway, you’ll be fine as long as you nap on the plane. You’ll deal with the jet lag fine as long as Seojoon supplies you with caffeine.

He falls asleep quickly after that, seems to be at peace… because after you dropped the girlfriend issue, and agreed to go with him so easily, he felt he has no problems worth losing sleep over.

Must be real nice.

You lay back against your pillow and grab your phone, you’re about to search up things to do in New York… when you see a slew of Instagram notifications.

Your stomach fucking drops when you see the name of who has flooded your inbox with DM’s.

Jeon Photography… in other words, fucking Jungkook.

You reluctantly open the DM’s, fully prepared to block his work account.

But it doesn’t work out that way.

Ok, so… you didn’t block him. You messaged him back. And he has your wallet.

You can argue that you messaged him back for that reason alone, you need your wallet to go to NY. And it seems to have worked out, you’ll get it in the morning.

But now, rather than being excited about your little trip, you are full of fucking conflict again. Because one, you have to see Jungkook. Two, Sena is apparently coming and you are pissed that Seojoon didn’t mention that to you. And three… you were fucking smiling at your phone while you messaged him. You liked it far too much.

While Seojoon is right beside you.

You know you shouldn’t be getting involved with Jungkook more than necessary, it isn’t right for several reasons. But, ugh, it was cute how he was acting all sweet and desperate for your attention. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to laugh at him purposely misspelling Seojoon’s name.

But, you gave none of that away. You need to put distance. You don’t want to let Sena ruin this trip for you, and you hope you don’t have to see her much. You need to try and calm down once again, can’t let this ruin yet another occasion you are supposed to be spending with Seojoon. Besides, you won’t have to see Jungkook long, you’ll grab your wallet and go.

And you swear you won’t message him again… even though you make no effort to block his Instagram. You don’t unblock his cell number either, though… so there’s that.

Although a bit giddy at his messages, you’re upset with him. Replay tonight’s events in your head as you try to sleep. The fucking shock of him being there, the passive aggressive comments made, the kiss, the declaration that he isn’t done with you, fucking Yoongi, the tea incident, fuck… all of it. And when you finally got it all off your mind, swept it under the rug, he messages you. Puts himself back in your head.

You need to sleep, not fret over Jeon Jungkook or the guilt that is now resurfacing with Seojoon sleeping soundly beside you.

You can worry about it another time. You can ignore how good it felt to be casually messaging him. You can pretend the kiss didn’t happen. You can refuse to see him after tomorrow.

Sweep it under the rug. Bury it in the dirt. He has no say in whether you’re done or not, and you are done. You swear you are done with him. Have been for a while…

That’s what you repeat to yourself, anyway, all the way until you fall asleep.

Silly girl… you never should have told him you were going on that work trip.

You wake up the next morning to Seojoon nudging you, mumbling something about leaving and packing quickly. Kisses you on the forehead before saying he will be back in 45 minutes to pick you up. You regret staying up late, because fuck, it is hard to get out of bed.

But you do. You don’t want to be late or miss this trip, not after last night. You barely think about the fact that that you must see Jungkook briefly today, you just wake up robotically. Coffee will help.

You go through the motions of taking out your dusty suitcase, throw in a bunch of clothes without really paying attention to what you’re packing. You’re sure it’s fine, you see underwear and bras, the clothes surrounding it looks fine enough. You grab your makeup bag, stuff it in, and then grab your travel toiletry bag and put all of the girly things inside before stuffing it in with the rest of your stuff.

You impulsively grab the polaroid camera you have and pack it with your stuff, think it’ll be nice to grab some photos of New York while you’re there. A little activity to create some memories.

After packing a few other mundane things, you get dressed. Decide to go comfy, put on an oversized sweater and some leggings, some sandals to go with it. You put your hair in a messy bun, and don’t bother to put on makeup because you’ll most likely be sleeping the entire way there anyway.

Time flies, of course. You’re tired as fuck, and judging by Seojoon’s grumpy face he is too when he arrives to get you. He helps you pack your luggage into his trunk and pats you on the back for being able to pack so quickly. He may look grumpy, but it seems he isn’t actually. He’s usually pretty sweet when in the mornings.

He stops to get you both a quick cup of coffee on the way to the airport, and you feel lighter already. You have a lot of shit to unpack mentally, but you are thankful that you said yes to this impromptu trip. You’ve never been to New York before, although you have been to the states a few times, New York was always one place you wanted to experience. Who better to experience it with than your new ‘boyfriend?’

When you arrive to the airport, Seojoon drops you off at the terminal with the luggage while he makes arrangements for the car. You wait patiently while sipping your coffee, sitting on one of the empty benches. People watching, seeing the plethora of strangers who all look different, you wonder where they’re coming from or going to. Its fascinating, really, knowing you’ll never see these people again, you like to imagine what they’re like anyway…

And then you see him.

No, not Seojoon, but Jungkook. And Sena. Sena looks fucking mean as she walks through the glass doors, and Jungkook looks far too chipper considering it is 5:15 in the fucking morning.

…why are they carrying so much luggage?

Its funny, how Jungkook immediately starts looking around, surely looking for you. He spots you quickly, and you swear you can see his invisible tail wag when his eyes land on you. He starts sprinting over carrying two big bags of luggage, while Sena pouts and trudges behind him while she drags another large bag. When he finally gets closer, he lowers his face mask and smiles so big that his eyes crinkle up and dimples pop out prominently.

Fuck.

You try to stay neutral, give them both a friendly smile as they approach.

“Hey. Good morning.”

Jungkook fucking grins, “Good morning sunshine.”

For fucks sake, it is too early for this.

You get up, set your coffee down next to the bags and awkwardly ask, “Umm, my wallet? Kinda need it to board the plane.”

He nods at you, digs into his pocket and pulls it out, his deep ass pockets in those comfy sweats you recognize far too well.

He also pulls out a passport… no, two passports… why two…?

He hands you the wallet, “Here, I kept it safe for you.”

He winks playfully, and Sena just rolls her eyes. Barely even looks at you as she mumbles, “So Seojoon brought you? Guess it’s a fucking couples trip now.”

“Hm?”

You blink at her confusedly. Her rude tone doesn’t really phase you, you were a bitch to her last night (although it was well deserved,) so you don’t expect her to be happy to see you. But what the fuck does she mean by couples trip? Is someone else bringing their significant other?

God, Jungkook has that shit eating grin again, and if you weren’t so tired you would have probably put two and two together by now.

“Oh, I decided to tag along. There’s a photography expo coincidentally, and I wanted to check it out.”

No fucking way.

You don’t say anything at first as you put the pieces together. Two passports, the large amount of luggage, Sena’s grumpy face, Jungkook’s happy fucking mood.

Did he do this on purpose?

He won’t admit it to you, but yeah, he absolutely did. The moment you said you were going to New York, he decided he would too. He didn’t lie completely, there really is a Photography expo being held, but that isn’t the reason he’s coming; that’s just his excuse. The reason he’s coming is… well, you. To be near you. To coax you into letting him back in.

This actually started a lot of shit with Sena. She was in a bitchy mood last night after leaving Taehyung’s house, tried arguing with Jungkook about so many different things. And this morning, he invited himself, which she fucking hated. To her, he was a burden, almost embarrassing to bring along. This was her fucking job, she didn’t need her manchild husband tagging along.

She tried to tell him no, but he also wasn’t having that. He didn’t fucking care. He told her he was coming and she could get the fuck over it, she didn’t even have to share a room with him if it was that big of a deal.

She latched onto that quickly, said she refused to share a room with him because she was planning on having colleagues over to discuss the fashion expo over drinks. Rented a fancy pent house like room just for that. He knows damn well that’s not normal, she shouldn’t be so hesitant to share a room with her own husband.

But again, he stopped caring a while ago. They don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore, so it’s not that big of a deal to him. He has one goal in mind…

Be with his Aster. Even if it’s just as friends. He is determined to earn a place in your life again, and he hopes this trip will give him a chance to convince you to give him a chance.

You? Oh, you are in shambles, because this trip was literally supposed to get your mind off of him. Turns out, fate isn’t on your fucking side, fate really is just fucking with you.

Or maybe Jeon Jungkook is fucking with fate.

You nearly want to slap him, demand that he leaves. But you can’t. You have no proof that he did this in purpose, but your gut tells you that he did. He’s acting crazy, after a single night of seeing each other again, and he suddenly keeps popping up? Pushing you to communicate again?

He wasn’t lying when he said he isn’t done. He fucking meant that. In his perspective, this is a chance at redemption. He doesn’t know in what context, but fuck, you’re dating his wife’s coworker, who is also close friends with one of his best friends… it’s all connected.

It can’t be coincidence. He see’s it as a tragic gift, a fucked up second chance. He isn’t going to pass it up. Not until you explicitly say, ‘fuck off, I never want to see you or talk to you again.’

And you haven’t said that. You’ve told him to go away, but you’ve yet to seriously set the boundary.

Contradicting yourself, yet again…

It's at that moment that Seojoon shows up, places a hand on your back. Greets Sena politely, and then she informs him that Jungkook is joining as well. He makes some joke, too tired to feel some type of way about Jungkook coming along. But you aren’t paying attention, not really.

Because Jungkook is giving you those needy eyes again. Smile soft, eyes glittering with stars you were once so find off, skin almost glowing as if he just got laid.

He mouths at you ‘Unblock my number.’ And then fucking giggles.

Holy fuck. It is going to be a long weekend. You can’t catch a break, can you? Karma really is a bitch.

Karma or fate. Both you have grown to sincerely despise within the last 24 hours.

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

*NOTE; propaganda is out of order due to poll length!

Eugenides Propaganda:

the entire plot hinges on a detail he lets the reader (and every other character) assume is true. I don't want to spoil it because it's a really fun reveal but he is lying from the first second he appears on the page and you can't trust him to tell the full truth about ANYTHING related to himself and his goals. he mostly does it to keep his advantage and not have other characters be suspicious of him but it's just so fun when you realise he's been lying the whole time

Harrowhark Propaganda:

She gave herself a lobotomy and gives completely incorrect flashbacks to the previous book. Things that straight up did not happen. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss.

She’s schizophrenic (confirmed by the author) and also lives in a world with necromancy and ghostly revenants. She’s not just an unreliable narrator for readers, she’s an unreliable narrator of her own internal experience. She knows this and has to work with people around her to compensate for it. Descent into spoilerville below. Seriously Do Not Read if you want to read these books. There’s also the little matter about how she is *not actually the narrator* of a huge chunk of the story that we are initially led to believe is being told from her perspective.

(Spoilers) Holy shit she is THE most unreliable narrator. This gremlin gave herself a lobotomy so that she could forget about Gideon Nav, the most important person in her life (for magic soul-preserving reasons) so half of the second book in the series is spent gaslighting the reader about a book they just read. She comes up with an entire alternate version of the events of the first book in the series to carefully exclude any mentions of Gideon, and any time someone says ‘Gideon’ in front of her she LITERALLY has a stroke and/or an intercranial hemorrhage as her brain overwrites the word with someone else’s name. God occasionally intentionally triggers her memory revision to get out of difficult conversations. She also hallucinates ALL the time (unrelated to the lobotomy). She shows up at her frenemy’s room in the middle of the night (think little kid stumbling to their parents’ room and saying “I frew up”) to ask her to come check underneath her bed for the corpse that’s been wandering the space station. When frenemy checks underneath the bed, frenemy claims not to see anything, and Harrow is such an unbelievably unreliable narrator that it’s an open question in the fandom as to whether frenemy genuinely didn’t see the corpse or if frenemy was just yanking Harrow’s chain. Harrow is also haunted by a literal ghost that fucks up her already fucked up alternate history. Girlie will pick up a piece of paper and read from it the most violent and haunting piece of prose ever composed, when in reality all that’s written on the paper is the elementary school Superman S*. I am NOT joking that is a real goddamn scene. Harrow was created to win this poll. TLDR; she has brain damage and memory loss, she hallucinates, and is also haunted. * https://twitter.com/vestenet/status/1301012651145859072

Girl is so unreliable, she unreliably tells me events I was there for!!! She's retelling the previous book and I'm like "girlie, this is absolutely not how it happened". Also, she gave herself a DIY lobotomy, it has to impact your memory center I guess

She literally had a lobotomy, how can she be reliable

More Propaganda under cut!

Harrowhark is simply the unreliable narrator of all time. Can’t remember shit because of a lifetime of trauma? Check. Maybe lying to yourself and those around you a bit? Most definitely. Being gaslit by the survivors you depend on to orient you to reality? For sure. How about a little bit of canon schizophrenia? She’s got it all. Ghosts? Or something? Spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are not perceivable by others? Sure, sure! But how about spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are gonna use you to hijack others’ bodies and maybe kill God, too? Absolutely. Wee bit of DIY brain surgery? If it would make you an unreliable narrator, friends, then Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been there, been subjected to that!

Okay I don't know that much about this series since I haven't convinced myself to read all of the first book, but this is my blorbo in law so I'd feel bad not spreading propaganda (all of what I'm saying is something I've read, as to prevent myself from straight up submitting misinformation). So all of Harrow's unreliable narration takes place in the second book, Harrow the Ninth. Basically, without her even seemingto acknowledge it, Harrow's brain is very fucked up during this book, to the point where even she's not sure how reliable her narrative is. There's many questions left unclear as a result of her fucked up little brain, like what's real, what's fake, whether we can trust her judgement, whether even she can trust her own judgement, whether her original cavalier is dead or not (Harrow is convinced she is), etc. Let me tell you, I adore unreliable narrators who aren't even that sure if they're reliable. I have yet to eat that trope up here in this circumstance, but this poll might not run again by the time I do, so for now, here's my messed up blorbo in law.

OKAY SO REMEMBER MY GIDEON SUBMISSION? HARROW DOESN’T! SPOILERS AHEAD BECAUSE SHE LOBOTOMIZED HERSELF TO FORGET GIDEON BECAUSE THAT’S A HEALTHY WAY TO GRIEVE AND THEN IN THE ONLY PARTS OF HER BOOK THAT SHE NARRATES (THE REVISED CANAAN HOUSE PARTS) IT’S LITERALLY A ROOM FULL OF GHOSTS HER BRAIN SUMMONED TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT SHE CUT HER BRAIN IN HALF TO FORGET GIDEON. she also is a) haunted and b) psychotic, experiencing hallucinations her entire life of both the ghosts haunting her and less supernatural hallucinations- bells tolling, bones rattling, her parents (some of the only dead people NOT haunting her), etc! in the revised history of canaan house that her brainghosts invent, she brings along someone who knows about her psychosis to help reality check her when she tells him go! her caregiver as a child and support when she got older, crux, is a horrible man- but at one point, when someone other than harrow is in harrow’s body and tells him “i am not harrowhark, i am sorry,” his response is simply “aye, you’ve said that before too. who are you then, if not my lady harrowhark?” showing his familiarity with her psychosis and his love for the child he wouldn’t dare see as a daughter. but enough about that lets talk about her unreliable narration! she lies about her feelings of course but she also simply hides the truth from everyone, all the time, compulsively. also literally the entire section of her book that she narrates is a lie she’s telling US about a lie she’s telling HERSELF and no one understands even a little bit of the truth until like the last act of the book. queen.

[gay-dorito-dust]

For Aegon

❛ what, am i not allowed to look at you? ❜

You could feel him staring at you; No, you could see him staring at you from the corner of your eye as you skimmed the paragraphs of your book under the guise of ‘reading.’ So much so that whenever you braved to glance at Aegon, who only seem to thrive in being caught as he continued his blatant staring with absolutely zero shame as a smirk growing across his lips and a glimmer in his lilac eyes. You didn’t know whether you should laugh or cry out of disbelief at his lack of digression. It never ceases to baffles you how shameless Aegon could be, even within the eye of the public he would have the misfortune to rule. His words not yours.

“you seem to have developed a staring problem as of late, my prince.” You said without taking your eyes off of the book in your lap, despite your desire to read had long since became a thing of the past, “And more so then not that staring has been aimed at me for most of the time.” You didn’t even have to look up to know that his smirk had widened across his face for Aegon was a simple book to read, even a child could do it. “What? Am I not allowed to look at you now?” He asked amused, you didn’t reply. “If my staring causes you were so much discomfort, then why haven’t you voiced your displeasure?” Aegon gauges your silence as a means to continue voicing his thoughts. “Or perhaps, if I’m right in assuming, you actually like it.”

You snorted, closing the book and placing it beside you as you looked over to address Aegon, only to find that he has moved himself closer to you as he leant against the Weirwood tree, arms and ankles crossed over one another. Had he always been so quiet on his feet? “Don’t flatter yourself Aegon, I’m probably not the only one you’ve been staring at.” You mentioned matter of factly, recalling the times where his lusty lilac eyes lingered elsewhere as you fought against the feeling of jealously building within your throat. You didn’t know why you were feeling this way, Aegon didn’t seem the type of man to willingly commit to anyone and you seemingly detested his depravity and uncouth ways at every turn.

However you didn’t catch onto the brief flicker of sadness within Aegon’s expression when you turned back to attend to your abandoned book. “If it brings you any reassurance but my eyes have never looked at another the way they looked at you.” He starts as he brought himself down to sit next to you beneath the bloody eyed tree with crimson leaves, testing the waters by grasping your hand in his as he took note of how you froze momentarily as though to compose yourself before falling into a sense of ease that still held onto that little bit of tension. “They may look to others in lust but to you, they’ve looked at you with nothing but admiration, comfort and above all, love.” Your body stiffen at the word but your eyes were peaked with interest as a warm sensation began to flood your chest as though you were a hearth brought aflame.

“Whether you believe my words or not, I do not care for I know my feelings to be true because whilst I may not be born into a loving environment; I still crave the things I cannot have and love is one of them if not the sole thing I crave to experience the most.” Aegon paused, feeling himself becoming overwhelmed with his own emotions that they started to form themselves into the tears that brimmed his pretty eyes. Aegon was always a pretty crier, you’ve noted. He made it look like an art form and you couldn’t help but squeeze his hand to console him into continuing. “So whenever you doubt my devoting to you, it hurts. I know why you doubt me, I understand it more then anyone because I’m the one who has to live with the consequences of my own actions.”

Aegon lays his head against your shoulder, pressing a kiss there before burying his head deeper into you as though he couldn’t get enough. His hand gripping yours tightly but not so much so that it caused you pain. “Yet here I am, laying my heart bear before you, praying to the seven in hopes that you don’t ever break it.” He finishes, too emotionally drained to remove himself away from you, not that he’d ever want to anyway; Clenching his eyes shut in waiting for your rejection, for you to smash his glass heart into a million fractures so small they looked like stardust. “Don’t pray to the Seven Aegon,” you told him softly, “for they’re the type who’d come to collect what is owed in droves. They’ll rob you blind of everything in the name of faith.”

“Then I’ll pray to you instead.” Aegon replied hastily, moving his head away from your shoulder to look at you with his bleary, bloodshot eyes as he smiled weakly. “Then you’ll have too much faith in me. I’ll let you down should I not meet your image of me every time.” You responded, resting your forehead against his, rubbing your nose gently his own. “Then don’t, let us be perfectly imperfect together until the end of our days.”

[mykoreanlove]

Tsundere ツンデレ

Ding dong.

Your eyes shot open like the speed of light.

Ding dong.

What time was it?

Ding dong.

Who the fuck rang your bell at 3 in the morning?

Ding dong.

Fuck, the neighbors were going to lose it.

Ding dong.

“I am coming!!” You raced to your door as fast as you could.

Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I said I was com-” you shouted as you opened the door angrily. Your visitor took you by surprise as you had not heard from him in weeks. Right in front you stood your ex-boyfriend – incredibly handsome, yet incredible fucked up. His dark hair tousled, his eyes bloodshot, his body clouded in smoke and his whole being reeking from alcohol. You were annoyed that he dared to show up like this and threw the door in his face. Or so you thought. He had his foot in the door before you could succeed at shutting him out.

“Y/N.”

Hearing him say your name sent shivers down your spine. You loved his deep and raspy voice but hearing it now made your heart flutter in the worst way. You were not allowed to feel these emotions anymore, you just couldn’t. “Min, you can’t be here.”

He scoffed, glaring at you viciously. “Why? Have you already found someone new to share the bed with?”

Ah, there he was again – still the angry and cynical guy you remembered the most. Over the course of your short-lived romance, you had never seen him portray his positive emotions – not once. He always played it cool, being the reserved and harsh person that he was. You once found this trait to be attractive but realized that you couldn’t handle it very well. Yoongi confused you as he was rude and harsh most of the times, only kind and appreciating on rare occasions. You never knew what he was truly thinking or feeling – he never opened up to you like that. Hence you called it quits. Not because you didn’t have feelings for him, but because you were convinced, he hadn’t any for you. Not wanting to be weak, you decided to take on his approach.

“Does that matter?”

“It does matter to me”, he scoffed again. You raised your eyebrow in surprise. “What? Did you think I was fine after you broke up with me?”

As a matter of fact, yes, you did think he was fine. You assumed he continued living his life, produced new music and dated other girls. Yoongi’s eyes widened in surprise as he realized that you seriously had not considered this possibility. “Y/N, why? Why would you think that? Don’t you know how much I loved you?”

Tears started straining your face as you tried to compose yourself. “Min, how was I supposed to know?” Seeing you like that hurt him badly. Realizing that he fucked up another relationship because he couldn’t show how much the other person meant to him was even worse. Was he doomed to repeat his mistakes over and over? “Can I.. Can I come in?”

You let him enter and walked to the kitchen, getting him a glass of water. You handed it to him silently, nudging him to drink. “Do you think I’m here because I’m drunk?” He smiled sweetly, masking his pain as much as he could. “I’ve been drinking for years, this is nothing. I’m not here because of the Hennessy I’ve downed. I am here because I can’t stand it anymore.” He faced you directly, taking his time to choose his words carefully. “I know I seem cold. Sometimes distant or cranky. Annoyed even. I can’t open up so easily as it takes me some time but… y/n, I really cared about you. So, fucking much. Still do.” He laughed a little as he wiped away the tear that built on the corner of his right eye.

You walked over to him and held his hand. “Was it me?” He looked at you confused. “What do you mean?” “Were you not able to open up because of me? Did I do something wrong?”

Yoongi started to cry – the last thing you expected from him. “No. No, of course not. You were perfect. No, you are perfect y/n. I just – I have trouble letting people in. I was always like that, probably because of the upbringing I had. It was fucked up, you know?” You wanted to be snarky and remind him that you did not know, because he never opened up to you, but you bit your tongue. He was clearly in pain, fighting against himself and your bruised ego had no place in this one-man tragedy. “Min, I am sorry”, you whispered. He got closer to you, his face almost touching yours. “Don’t be”, he mumbled. “I was the one at fault. I pushed you away. I am really sorry, y/n. I came here to tell you that. To tell you that I’m sorry and that I miss you and that I had been crying myself to sleep for the past few weeks. Ever since you left me, to be precise.”

You looked at him in disbelief, how was that possible? The boy that seemed so distant and cold was heartbroken over you? “I guess my behavior was very confusing to you. I still confuse myself at times. I behaved like an immature savage most of the times because I was too nervous and shy around you. I was afraid of you seeing my innermost side, so I pushed you away before you could come too close to me. My deepest apologies, y/n.”

His words moved you. You were able to finally understand. The enigma that was sitting right in front of you wasn’t disinterested but afraid. Your hand caressed his cheek, you missed the feeling of his porcelain skin. You missed smelling his musky perfume, missed his warm touch, missed the raspy sweet nothings he whispered in your ear as he was making love to you. Yoongi wasn’t the only one that cried himself to sleep at night. And now he was here, confessing his love to you. You had to pinch yourself to check that you were in fact awake.

He grinned into your hand. “I am glad it’s not completely over, y/n.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Min.” You wouldn’t make it easy on him, that was for sure. He laughed at you sweetly. “Would be more believable if you wouldn’t be sleeping in my shirt, babe.”

His shirt? Fuck, you were half asleep as the bell rang and didn’t think of putting on clothes. He left his favorite shirt, an oversized white one with some initials on the front, at your place and weirdly never asked for it back, so you decided to keep it. You used to fall asleep to it as it smelled like him but when his scent disappeared you decided to sleep in it – you somehow felt closer to him that way. You smiled as you got caught in the act: “I really can’t fool you, can I?”

Yoongi took your head in his hands and kissed you. “No, and I don’t want you to. Your feelings are written all over your face and I love you for that. Don’t ever change, especially not for me.” He placed another kiss on your lips. “Me, however, I will work on that. I’m not all spice, I’m also sweet y/n. I’m sweet for you..”, he looked at you pleadingly, “if you let me.”

[fangsandfeels]

Don't come at me, but I am confused why whenever there is a plot about one of Astarion's siblings going full villain, this sibling is almost always Petras. I agree; he is a jerk and a bully. But he is also the guy who gobbles up Cazador's bullshit about getting freedom with ZERO suspicions. Aurelia and Leon are hopeful, but it doesn't take them long to realize it is yet another way for Cazador to break them, and of course, he never intended to let them go.

Petras is oblivious to the point he is already making plans for the future and composing his menu. He is also the guy who flirts (badly) with the first person who approaches him without even considering the risk of the said person being a vampire hunter. Like, Tav can be wearing full plate armor and have a hugeass war hammer slung over their shoulder, and Petras would still go "Yes, this is the perfect naive victim to seduce. They will totally fall for my charms" with Dalyria cringing and trying to do damage control at the back.

Petras makes Astarion look like a criminal mastermind.

And no, I'm not saying that he can't be an antagonist to Astarion at all.

He can be dangerous by deciding to go his own way, gathering the group of spawn who share his views, and making a part of the Sword Coast his hunting grounds. But don't I see him plotting complicated schemes or even trying to recreate Cazador's rituals. He may try, but in my opinion, he will fail hilariously. No intervention needed.

Now, speaking of a more dangerous and tragic potential adversary, Leon is right here. He is a sorcerer. Moreover, if the nature of the spell he used to protect Victoria is anything to go by, he is experienced with Necromancy (I may be wrong; the blood thing could have belonged to the Transmutation school, though).

He is the top performer. And, he is a desperate father who did it all to keep his daughter safe. Now, I still assume that he managed to smuggle Victoria out of the palace -- which would keep him his calm and reasonable self. But if Victoria is really dead?...It would mean that everything he did, all these victims, all that suffering, all the measures he took, all the hurt he inflicted on his siblings/inmates - it all was for nothing. He was ready to die for Victoria to live. He was willing to sacrifice an orphan to save his girl. And he failed.

He failed her.

Wouldn't that push him over the edge? The desperation, the devastation, the horror? Wouldn't that create a void in his undead heart and put him into denial and resentment for his fellow spawns (he didn't know HOW she died, but he had seen enough hungry looks from Dal and Violet)?

Wouldn't he become obsessed with "fixing" it somehow because he already went so far to protect his daughter...why not go even further to bring her back, let her live the life that was so unfairly taken from her? He doesn't care about power, about sunwalking, he doesn't give a shit about anything and anyone -- he wants his child back. And he will make it happen.

At any cost.

[mochiswifey]

ANGEL

BONTEN KANJI MOCHIZUKI

~MATURE THEMES~ Next

*Arrange Marriage, Sexual Themes (Blowjob), Age gap*

Forced to marry an older man, Louie tries to navigate the hell she’s suddenly pulled into.

Her eyes flicker.

“Finally she’s fucking awake.” Someone with an androgynous voice said.

She tries to wipe her eyes and to her surprise her hands were tied to a chair.

Panic attacks her

She tried to think whether she took too much sedative and she’s lucid dreaming.

“She’s awake.” The voice repeated after she heard a metal door open.

She tried to compose herself to no avail. The surrounding is dark and cold. The floor is dirty. Tainted with dry blood. And-

Her thoughts were interrupted when a shadow fell over the little light from the lamp shade hung above.

“Your Dad. He operates boats.”

Husky voice accompanied by a strong smell of cigar.

“I- I don’t- What?! My dad doesn’t-“

“Your real Dad.”

Then, it dawned on her.

She was taken because of her real father. The father who she last saw 7 years ago.

The father who ran away and left her.

The father who was never really a father to her.

“What is this? Did he pissed some Yakuza? I am nowhere pretty to be sold-“

“Bruh, no one would fucking buy you-“

“Shut up addict.”

“Shut up lung cancer”

Louie sighed before closing her eyes.

“I haven’t seen him for 7 years. I don’t know where he is or how he is. You could kill him for all I care.”

“Your father didn’t pissed us. It’s just. We have a tradition to follow.”

“This isn’t the 20s.”

“Don’t you think that this isn’t the best time to joke around?” The androgynous voice turned out to be coming from a man with a pink hair and diamond scars on either side of his mouth.

He steps in front of Louie and squats down. He has a deranged face. A manic expression.

But Louie recognize the loneliness and emptiness in his eyes.

It’s the same for every rich person she has ever seen in Tokyo.

It didn’t matter how much wealth they’ve accumulated throughout the years.

It’s never enough and will never be.

“My whole life is a joke so shut up.” The scarred man laughed before standing up and going away from her view.

“This tradition, is this some fucking sacrificial bullshit?”

“No. It’s you marrying one of our executive.”

Louie chuckled before going silent.

“This isn’t a Wattpad dark mafia bullshit.” She says with an excellent American accent surprising the two men.

They knew she was a bastard born to a cabaret hostess mother. They assumed she was uneducated and-

“Was that English?”

“In what world wasn’t that English?” She mocks the men.

“You seem comfortable in this kind of situation.”

“I am nowhere comfortable in this situation.”

Louie sighed. She’s captured and she has no way of escaping. It’s cooperating that would get her a pass to live another day.

“Why do I need to marry?”

“The boats your father have. We want them to carry our shipment.”

“Then sign an agreement! Why the hell would I be pawn to your games?”

“Agreements are easily broken. With marriage your family will be bonded to our organization.” Louie shakes her head and almost laughs.

“I’m a bastard. What made you think that my father won’t betray your organization?” The men had the same thing in their mind.

But she is the best they could get.

Louie’s father won’t marry his legitimate daughter to them.

“You still carry your father’s last name. And once you bore a son, when your father betrays us every single workers of your father will never trust him again.”

A son?

There was no way of winning through brute. So, even though she was infuriated she remained calm and listened.

“Who am I gonna marry?”

“Mochi.”

Who in the world is that with a punk ass name?

Kanji removes his tie as he burst inside the hotel room.

Misaki had a smile on her face but it quickly dissipated as she realize Kanji is in a bad mood.

“What happened?” She quickly follows him to the balcony.

The cold wind chilled her body but she knew better than to ignore the man who’s supporting her lavish lifestyle.

Kanji gripped on the railing. His face full of fury. Eyebrows arched and teeth gritted.

“Tell me what happened.” Misaki soothes Kanji’s gigantic arm. She tries to comfort him because that’s her duty.

“I was going to marry you.”

Her smile faded from utter shock. Not once did she ever think of him having the want to do what he just said.

Kanji and Misaki’s relationship- it wasn’t something they hid. All of the executives in Bonten knew that Misaki is Kanji’s woman.

They met in a club and from that day Kanji desired Misaki.

He showered her with everything she didn’t need. Kanji would never admit it to anyone but she’s the closest thing to love he has ever gotten.

On the other hand, Misaki saw him as jackpot. He was addicted to her even though her heart belongs to someone else.

But it’s fine. Because with him she could get a comfortable life.

“Y-you wanted to marry me?” She asked him but Kanji didn’t reply.

He wanted to marry her. He was planning on proposing to her on Christmas Day.

But now it’s all ruined.

“I-l I’ll say yes if you still want to…”

Kanji’s rage disappears for a moment. He wanted to smile and be happy for once but his world would never allow such thing.

“Well I can’t now.”

His rage returns.

It’s one thing to be ordered to kill but it’s another to be ordered to marry.

Misaki knew she didn't love Kanji. And she also knows that she will never fall in love with him. It's just impossible.

But she couldn't help but feel disappointed after his words.

Yes, she will never love him. But she knows him. And she knows he'll never leave her. He'll never disregard her for any other woman.

"W-why?"

"Because I'm ordered to marry a fucking bastard." Kanji spat out with fury.

"I-"

"Don't ask me any more fucking questions!" Kanji snaps startling Misaki. He leaves her in the balcony to get his favorite whiskey.

Kanji's rage sometimes scares Misaki. But every man in the crime world has their own temper.

Misaki closed her eyes and sighed. She then followed Kanji to the bedroom.

Kanji was slouched on a chair with whiskey in his hand. His face was full of rage and Misaki knew what Kanji would like for the night.

"You don't need to marry me. I'll be with you either way. Married or not." She says and Kanji chuckles.

She kneeled down between his legs and started to unbuckle his belt. Kanji placed his liquor down and watched as Misaki took out his cock.

He didn't say anything and simply watched as she licked the side of his shaft. She then slowly nibble on his tip before taking half of his enormous length.

Kanji sighed in pleasure as he felt her wet warm mouth. She twirls her tongue around as she bobs her head up and down making erotic wet noise as she goes.

One of the reasons Kanji likes Misaki is the fact that she's an elegant woman who gives a blowjob like a whore.

Misaki pushed her head down as far as she could before pulling away and spitting on his cock before licking one of his balls.

"Just like that... fuck..." Kanji says head thrown back.

She begins sucking on his balls as she strokes him fast. Misaki took her time licking him before returning on sucking his tip.

She felt his cock getting harder and the salty taste of his precum cued her that he was getting close.

Kanji surprised her when he stood up and slammed his cock far back in her throat. He begin to fuck her mouth fast.

His whore struggle to breathe but he didn't care. He needed to release the frustration he had.

Just when Misaki was beginning to lose breathe he slammed his cock farther than he has ever done and came inside her mouth making her gag.

"Don't spit." He order and with a teary and ruined mascara his whore obeyed and swallowed every last drop of his cum.

"You always looked pretty right after I fucked your mouth."

Satisfied, Kanji went to take a bath.

Mikey ordered him to marry the bastard.

And the king's words must be obeyed no matter what.

So, as much as he hates it. He'll meet his future wife at exactly 7:40 pm at the Hilton Hotel.

Plagiarism Is A Crime

[rubykgrant]

(Segment of my story, How It Feels, with Jon and Martin recovering at Daisy's cabin after leaving London, and before the Eye Apocalypse happens. This in particular focuses on Martin, how he's changed since being in the Lonely, and how he is also still himself. This involves tooth loss and feelings of depression/disassociation, but isn't gory, and leans more toward being comforting. Inspired by the art of @lonelyslutavatar ~)

Jon is quite proud of himself for responding to Martin in a very calm manner, instead of rushing in and assuming the worst.

The calm quickly shatters when he sees Martin standing in the bathroom, face a mix of embarrassed and worried, holding two teeth in the palm of his hand.

Several teeth-related horror stories from past statements flash into Jon’s mind (the apple, a few dozen about some sort of “evil tooth fairy” that were probably not real but still upsetting, and several connected to the Flesh and the Hunt). Jon nearly starts to panic as well, but somehow he composes himself, and moves slowly, helping Martin sit down on the lid of the toilet, and begins trying to figure this out.

Martin has some pain in his jaw, but nothing feels “broken”, and there isn’t any blood. The teeth look “fine”, except for the fact that they aren’t where they should be. Jon asks Martin to open his mouth, and it doesn’t appear as if anything is infected or irritated. To be thorough, Jon runs to get a small torch.

“I’m VERY close to freaking out! Just so you know!” Martin says, loudly.

“Yes, I’m- I’m sorry, I’ll be there in a-”

“ANOTHER ONE JUST CAME LOOSE!” Martin is able to spit it out before yelling the news to Jon. He does NOT want to swallow any of his teeth.

“I’M COMING BACK! HERE! HERE I AM!” Jon stumbles to a stop at the small door, and walks back in carefully.

This time, Martin opens his mouth WIDE, and Jon shines the little light to see properly.

“Oh,” Jon says after a moment.

“Oh? Oh, WHA?” Martin asks, making sure his mouth doesn’t close.

“Oh, um… I sort of see the- er, the issue?” Jon answers, without actually giving Martin a real answer.

“Wha ih ih?” What is it?

“Well, I can see the empty areas, where your teeth were, and… it looks like something is, er- pushing them out?” Jon elaborates. Martin finds this description unhelpful and worrisome.

“UH HUH UH AH EEE?!” The fuck does that mean?! Good God, what was in his mouth?

“Sorry! There are NEW teeth coming in! Like- like when we lose our baby teeth, and-”

“I AREHEE AH I AHEE HEE! HOW OOH I HAH OR!?” Martin demands, and after a brief second of trying to translate it in his head, Jon realizes Martin has just said- “I already lost my baby teeth! How do I have more!?”.

“Uhh…” before Jon can say anything else, two more teeth fall out, helped by Martin’s attempts to talk. These were from his top row, on the left side. They completely leave Martin’s mouth, and land in his lap. Martin groans, irritated. Jon tries to speak again, before something else distracts him. “If- I had to guess, which is all I’m doing, I’m sorry, this- this might be like your OWN spooky puberty?”

Martin groans again, giving Jon a glare.

“You were working with- hell I’m just saying his name, Peter, you were working with Peter for a while, and before that you were working at the Institute. That changed all of us, a little bit, but Peter really pushed you along, and… what finally made me change and become something more than just human was- I died. Sort of. When I was in that coma, I was pretty close to being dead, but then I came back. You were… you were almost ready to fade away when I finally found you, and then you came back. I think you might have become something more than just human,” Jon pauses a moment, to let Martin have a chance to understand what he’s saying… and because another tooth falls out. “And we saw what happens to ME when I don't feed on any statements, so… you haven’t been doing anything at all when it comes feeding what you are connected to,”

Jon places his hand on Martin’s cheek and turns off the torch, letting Martin know he can close his mouth again. Martin does so, and then immediately gives an angry huff, spitting still another tooth into his hand. He gathers up the rest in his lap, so he’s holding all of them together.

“What the hell. The isn’t FAIR. Your- your eyeballs didn’t fall out when YOU changed! And why my TEETH?! Am I supposed to start eating people? Peter didn’t even do that!” Martin blinks a few times, uncertain. “I mean, I never SAW him to that…”

“This might not be so LITERAL. I doubt this is a sign you need to actually eat anybody-”

“Pff, whatever, you don’t KNOW…” Martin scoffs.

“What I mean is- sometimes when people like us change, it isn’t always straight-forward. This might be more… like it symbolically represents the way loneliness can, er- consume you? Eat you up?” Jon is leaning back against the wall opposite Martin, arms crossed anxiously. He hunches his shoulders up, as if to shrug in a way that asks for approval.

Martin does not exactly “approve”, but unfortunately, he’s beginning to see that Jon may have a point. He also remembers that nightmare he had, as if it had been some kind of “punishment” for rejecting the Lonely. The fact that Martin can now remember Peter purposefully pulling him into the Lonely to avoid true and permanent death added up as well. Did the Eye punish Jon when he wouldn’t feed it new fear? Yes, he supposes so.

“Wonderful. So my teeth are falling out as a METAPHOR. And what am I even supposed to DO about it? Read statements that are relevant to feeling forlorn and isolated?” Martin now feels THREE teeth pop loose. Great. More to add to the collection in his hands.

“Perhaps not…” Jon ventures another guess. “That’s sort of the specific thing I’m stuck doing. And it started even before the coma, remember? So maybe- was there anything you did while working with Peter that might have been related to feeding this particular kind of fear? It might have even been something that seemed almost normal, but the more it happened, the more it had an affect on you, and when you stopped, you felt strange?”

Martin’s first reaction is to just say NO, because he’s in an ornery mood (Why shouldn’t he be moody? His teeth are falling out! He has a right!). Instead, he tries to give Jon’s question some real thought…

When Jon was still in the coma, and Peter first became the “new boss”, Martin had initially tried to take on more responsibility as a way to shield other people from the problems that came from working so closely with… a man like that. The most unnerving part was how pleasant Peter seemed. He often asked Martin to come along as his personal assistant when he went on various errands; some were clearly for meeting with other unusual people part of the whole Fear situation, while others were part of the more normal side of business for the Magnus Institute.

These people, in either situation, would usually not even acknowledge Martin at all until Peter made a point to turn to him, ask a question or make a request, and then they’d startle to see there was a WHOLE man there beside Peter. When Martin got more used to it all, he’d speak up on his own, blatantly pointing out when somebody was giving Peter incorrect information or outright lying. In those moments, they were not only surprised that Martin existed, they were suddenly INTIMIDATED by him.

Peter was very amused by this, and proudly complimented Martin on being so “accomplished”.

Yeah, that may have been how this started.

Martin was well practiced at going unnoticed, keeping quiet, fading into the background. That was a good way to keep yourself safe. It was also a good way to be lonely. The shock of suddenly being given attention no doubt fed Peter’s patron Fear plenty of Martin’s own nervous energy… and when Martin did it on purpose, making himself known with an aloof sort of confidence, it caused unease in other people. The Lonely probably loved feeding on all that.

That was the start… but what turned it into a pattern, something that Martin had to continue doing, and also something that he did without thinking about it?

It finally occurs to Martin that what was happening when he first left the Lonely might be a hint; the sleepwalking. That never happened back in London, not exactly. However… very often, when Martin left the hospital after visiting Jon, or took a break in the evening in the middle of working late, he would walk through the city and let his mind wander.

No, that was putting it mildly. He’d feel a growing disconnect from his own feelings and thoughts, and whatever remained gave him a sense of bored contempt, if anything.

He blended into the crowds, but still wasn’t “part” of it all. Martin remained separate, even in the shared experience of riding the bus or waiting for a light to change.

Occasionally he would pop into a store and use the self check-out lane, or even a bar with no intention to mingle or drink, and he would go unnoticed.

All around him, he would see people talking to each other, or chatting on calls, crying over break-ups, getting into arguments, lying about what they were doing, waiting to meet somebody who wasn’t coming, staring at displays in stores of things they longed to buy but couldn’t afford, getting frustrated after searching for a job all day, trying to be funny for friends or deal with a stressful visit with family… Martin could nearly picture himself, as if looking on from another point of view, and he was nothing but a nameless face on the street.

Obscure and forgettable. Martin would walk on, automatically, no effort in reaching his destination. It was eventual and certain. He may as well be a memory, instead of somebody who was still there.

Then he would be back at the Institute, or at home, and his thoughts would click back into place. Maybe he’d take a shower, or have something to eat. If it wasn’t too late and he was done with research or paperwork, he’d watch something on TV. It was alright. Mostly.

In the current situation, with Martin sitting on the toilet in a bathroom of a safehouse in Scotland, trying to figure out why he’s losing his teeth… he thinks that he’s finally connected some dots, and sees the bigger picture.

“Yeah… well, um- I guess maybe when I would walk around London and sort of lose myself in groups of people, without interacting with anybody, that was possibly like feeding on loneliness. So. Maybe I just need to do THAT again,” Martin looks up at Jon again, now the one checking to see if what he’s saying makes any sense.

“Hmm… it might work when you go out to buy us supplies. You’ll be around people again, and- whatever lonely feelings they have,” Jon nods, though he doesn’t look happy about it. That’s fine. Martin isn’t happy, either.

“What if I… Jon, when you got REALLY bad, you compelled people to talk about things when they didn’t want to. What if I VANISH somebody? What if I can’t control this?” Martin asks, and as soon as he closes his mouth, he has to spit three more teeth into his hand.

“That is upsetting, I know…” Jon replies, reaching out one hand to place on Martin’s shoulder. “But, listen- a few days after I started to really try and rein myself in, one of the people I compelled actually showed up at the Institute again. I was… well, I- erm…”

“You were outside, sneaking a smoke,” Martin guesses.

“Yes, FINE. Anyway, I thought they were still having problems because of me, and I immediately apologized and assured them it wouldn't happen again. I was honestly sort of distressed about that, I didn’t want to go find everybody I had compelled, because seeing me might just make them even MORE afraid, but I still wanted to say I was sorry… well, this person told me they only came there to explain they weren't angry with me. They didn't forgive me exactly, but-,”

“What, they wanted to rescind what they said before? Like, withdraw the complaint?” Martin raises his eyebrows at this.

“Something like that. They told me… they weren’t having nightmares anymore, about me OR what I made them talk about. It had faded after a while. They also told me that it sort of helped, in a weird way, to finally confront something they’d been ignoring for so long. And now they knew, the world had scary things in it, that was REAL, and they weren’t crazy for wanting to be careful…” Jon sees Martin wants to jump into the conversation, but has to pause to catch another tooth that has escaped. Jon continues talking, knowing what Martin was going to ask.

“The reason I didn’t say anything at the time- I didn’t want it to seem like I was making excuses. Oh, this person says the nightmares stopped and they faced their fears, this means nobody should be mad at me anymore! Hell, no. I still forced people to share private thoughts and experiences against their will, and that wasn’t right. I’m only telling you this NOW because I’m hoping that you being around people in public, absorbing whatever you need, THAT will be more like when I read the statements. The fear and the hurt already happened. You aren’t making it worse. If you keep ignoring this hunger, then… it will most likely get more intense, but even if that happens, you still might not vanish somebody to death. People even escaped from what Peter did, occasionally. I just don’t want you to feel… hopeless,”

“OK… yeah, OK. This is still pretty fucked, though,” Martin says, trying to steady his breathing.

“Yes. And it will probably continue to be fucked. But we can try to help each other feel better,” Jon smiles down at Martin, and somehow, that makes a tense knot in his chest loosen.

Jon waits with Martin as the last few teeth come loose, and gets a small glass jar for them. After some “Should I leave them under my pillow?” jokes, Jon grabs the small torch again to see what the situation is with Martin’s new set of teeth…

“You really don’t feel them growing in?”

“Uh-uh,” Martin may not physically feel the teeth coming into place, but he has noticed that the ache in his jaw is gone, and the weird grinding has stopped (that was probably his weird new “spooky” bones making room for his weird new “spooky” teeth. This sounded like such a stupid problem when he thought of it that way, but there just wasn’t a better term unfortunately).

“Well, they’re almost all here, and- they’re sharp! Martin, your new teeth are POINTY!” Jon uses his hand not holding the torch to tilt Martin’s head back slightly.

“WHA? LIE A HA-HIRE?” What? Like a vampire?

“No, not like that… you don’t have fangs, exactly… oh lord, I can see them rising up!” Jon says, and now Martin is starting to get annoyed that he sounds EXCITED about this. “They’re wider, and sort of flat… Martin, I think these are like- like shark teeth!”

Jon has set the torch aside, and is now holding Martin’s head with both his hands, leaning him back even more so the light from the ceiling shines into Martin’s mouth. Jon is pushing aside Martin’s upper lip to see the teeth as they move through the gum better, and that is IT, Martin is DONE.

“GEH YER FEE-HERS OW UH I OW!” before Jon can translate that into “Get your fingers out of my mouth!”, Martin actually SNARLS as a final warning, Jon whips his hands away, and just to be dramatic, Martin CHOMPS his mouth shut.

His new teeth are officially finished growing in; all the severe ridges fit together. Sharp, solid, and strong.

Shark teeth... really? Was that just the Lukas Brand? Martin has to turn half-way into a SEA MONSTER? For the aesthetic?

Jon knows Martin wasn’t actually going to bite him… and Martin knows that Jon knows this. Which is why Jon still looks more fascinated than afraid of Martin’s new MONSTER TEETH, and that just makes Martin want to try and snap at him again. Jon can see that as well, and he starts to snort laughter. Martin wishes he was strong enough to stay furious, but the corners of his mouth betray him, curving into a smile.

Yep. All his human adult teeth fell out, he’s got weird spooky shark teeth now, he’s damn near close to laughing about it. He must be mad. Oh, well. So is Jon.

[zyzix]

There's this aspect of Joshua Kiryu's character arc that I'm sort of flabbergasted to realize might be basically un-analyzed these past 15 or so years. I still kind of expect someone will pop up and point to something they've already written, but i'll talk about it anyway. This might also create some analysis ideas for NEO?? Ideally, anyway.

Essentially, I think it's really likely that Joshua misunderstood way more about his situation with Hanekoma, Minamimoto, and Neku than people tend to think. Not only that, but the idea that he had these misunderstandings kind of colors his relationship with Hanekoma. It also adds to him and Neku being foils. Where do I even begin.

I guess just with this scene that always made me go "hm, that's weird." Joshua: Think he's got a thing for you, Neku? Neku: What!? How the hell do you figure that? Joshua: Oh, please! The way he follows you around? Neku: That's just because I'm a Player. Joshua: I don't see him chasing after the other Players. Neku: (He's right… So why me?) Joshua: …Or is it my fault? Neku: (What? That's right… He might be tied in with the Reapers.)

So, what's so weird about this? Am I actually proposing that Joshua really thought Minamimoto was following Neku when he asked this? YES. I AM. That might sound nonsensical, and that's because it kind of is! But there's a reason for that.

When you know what happened in the Udagawa back alley a week and some change prior to that scene, it's reasonable to ask "why would Joshua think a Reaper was after some random RG guy?" Minamimoto came at him with a gun! But then why did Joshua even ask Neku if Minamimoto was following him? If he's trying to trick Neku into thinking this, he wouldn't immediately propose the truth afterwards. Maybe he's trying to make Neku distrust him as he does earlier (Neku scanning him, general sketch behavior perhaps) but not only is that redundant, it still doesn't answer why he asked about Neku in the first place.

So what happens if we take Joshua at face value here? Are we to assume Joshua thought he was the target at Udagawa, but Neku is the target now? I have no idea what the thought process would be behind that. Are we to assume that Joshua thought Neku was the target the whole time?? That still seems illogical, but maybe instead of asking why Neku would be the target, we should shift our focus and ask "why would Joshua think he isn't the target?"

I find that a lot easier to answer because we have Hanekoma. And Joshua thought he did too, basically.

We know from Secret Report 9 that the only person who should know Joshua's RG identity here is Mr. H.

SR 9: Minamimoto knows the Composer's RG identity (secret even to the Conductor), and has chased him to the Realground. The Fallen Angel may also have supplied him with this information.

Even in this report, it's proposed (by Hanekoma's misdirection) that someone else, some other Angel perhaps, could know Joshua's identity. We know that there isn't another Angel who told Minamimoto this information though. It was just Hanekoma. The only person in the story for Joshua to suspect is Mr. H.

Yet he doesn't. Or, I don't believe he does anyway. Let's take a look at our options.

Why does Joshua not seem to be wondering who sold him out? We have two branching options to start with: "He already knows who did it" and "he doesn't realize he's been sold out."

Lots of people assume Joshua already knows Hanekoma revealed his identity to Minamimoto. Because like… how else would he have known? Literally what else is Joshua supposed to think after being shot at? I mean, I've been explaining what else Joshua could have thought, but the point is it's a fair assumption. The only issue is that Joshua doesn't behave like he knows Mr. H betrayed him until Week 2 Day 5.

That is a long delay between then and when Joshua should have first known this information (before the story even starts.) I don't know when definitively Joshua put it together, but W2D5 is the first time we can say we KNOW he knows. And it really might have been that moment, because what happens right afterwards?

Well, Neku and him get attacked by Beat and Joshua learns about Kitaniji's "special op." But what happens right after THAT?

Joshua tells Neku that Hanekoma is CAT. An eye for an eye, I guess.

Part of the idea that Joshua did know Mr. H betrayed him from the start is that maybe Joshua was just putting up with that fact. That maybe Hanekoma was too useful, and couldn't do more harm anyway. Or that Joshua really didn't have any other options. I can understand why people think that, but I don't think we can bet on any of those. There's no reason for Joshua to think Hanekoma couldn't do way more harm than just tattling on him, especially as the week goes on and Taboo Noise crop up. Also, while it's impossible to prove one way or the other, there's no reason to think Joshua couldn't have built his game plan sans Hanekoma from the start if he thought he'd betrayed him. All of this assuming that Joshua gives a shit about what Mr. H did, admittedly.

On the other hand, if we posit that Joshua found out later about Mr. H, and that he'd give a shit about that, there should be some kind of change in his behavior towards him. This seems a little hard to to prove because that scene on W2D5 is the last time we see them interact (or even see Mr. H at all) until the ending of the game. That said, it's probably very telling that in TWEWY Mr. H is Joshua's sole confidant, and in NEO Mr. H has no idea what's going on with Joshua at all. I find that very interesting, but we're gonna put a pin in that for later.

Aaaaaaaaaall of that's to say that I don't think it's very likely that Joshua knew Hanekoma told Minamimoto his identity from the start. He shares information with Mr. H too easily for me to think that's the case. What's our next option?

It's possible that Joshua believed he already knew who told Minamimoto, but he was mistaken. However, I said before that there isn't any other suspect in the story and I don't think we can give Joshua another suspect to focus on without just making stuff up. Haz and Coco come to mind as people who might be able to share Joshua's identity, but we can't escape the fact that neither of them even existed at the time Joshua's main character arc was written. We would probably also have to invent some connection they'd have to this particular Game despite them being absent. I think this option is less likely than Joshua knowing about Mr. H the whole time, so I'm striking it off.

What we have left is the "Joshua didn't know he'd been sold out" option. Aside from what I've been arguing, the only other option is "Joshua thought Minamimoto found out on his own somehow." There's no solid reason for Joshua to think this, but it's possible he did anyway. The only reason I think this is less likely than the possibility that he didn't realize Minamimoto was after him is because of how Joshua talked to Neku back there. We have evidence that Joshua might have thought Minamimoto was after someone else; we don't have evidence that Joshua might have thought Minamimoto was able to discover his identity on his own. That said, after the conversation Josh had with Neku W2D2 it's possible his assumption shifted from one to the other as he was trying to figure things out.

So yeah, I believe it's most likely that Joshua didn't realize he'd been sold out at all because that would require him to think Hanekoma would do that to him. Because of that, he believed for more than a week that Neku was Minamimoto's target when they were all in the RG.

You might think that this idea would run into a lot of inconsistencies but I've found it to be shockingly coherent. (Honestly the whole background plot of this game is shockingly coherent for how overt it's themes are. I guess that's beside the point.) Like, let's look at the scene in Udagawa.

It starts with Neku looking up at the tag mural. Then Joshua runs up with a gun from Neku's left. It appears as if Joshua may have been looking behind him. Then Joshua fires in Neku's direction. Neku falls to the ground, but he is unhurt. Then Minamimoto is revealed to be behind Neku with a gun. He is clutching his shoulder. Minamimoto raises his gun, and Neku shields himself. Then several shots are fired towards Joshua. Joshua stops the bullets with his powers, and silently threatens to shoot Minamimoto again. Minamimoto runs off, and Joshua shoots Neku while he is looking after him.

If Joshua already believes that his identity is safe, none of that would clearly contradict that idea to him! Why did Josh think Minamimoto shot at him? Because Joshua already shot Minamimoto. Why was Joshua running if he didn't think Minamimoto was chasing him? To get to his target before the Reaper.

Conversely, why would Joshua be running from Minamimoto if bullets aren't going to hit him?

To us it's obvious that Minamimoto was chasing Joshua and tried to cut him off at the other end of the alley. But to Joshua at the time, he thought Minamimoto was going for the guy in between them.

This does raise some other questions, but there's enough of a case here that I think it's worth speculating off of. Did Joshua even have a theory as to why Minamimoto would be after someone in the RG? Maybe he thought Kitaniji sent one of his Reapers after his potential proxy. Why would it matter to Joshua if Minamimoto killed Neku instead of him if he needs the guy dead? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Joshua only leaves that extra Player Pin-- his trump card-- on Neku after Minamimoto leaves.

Kind of wild so far, right? Well we're not done because I think this idea that Joshua may have had created ANOTHER oversight for him.

Week 2 Day 7: Minamimoto: I was hoping for a little reenactment. Same spot, same setup as last time… Neku: (Last time? Nrrgh! Not now!) Joshua: You OK, Neku? Neku: Waaaugh! [incomplete Neku death cutscene] Neku: It… it was you? Joshua: Neku… Neku: You killed me… You stole my life!

What's with Joshua's reactions here? Did he not realize that Neku was getting headaches around Minamimoto?

(yes)

It's understandable if you think Joshua is faking it here, but if you're with me about this so far you also have to admit that Joshua's surprise can be pretty genuine. I'll be honest, I thought this way before I thought anything else I've put in this essay so far just because Joshua and the situation seemed sincere to me. Why wouldn't Joshua notice this, though?

See, there are four times that Neku, Joshua and Minamimoto are all in the same scene. Neku gets a headache from all of them, and this is what they look like:

Maybe this is just me, but the sprite direction in all of them but the last one makes it seem like Joshua stays between Neku and Minamimoto, and that he does not take his eyes off of Minamimoto the whole time he's around. And compare day 1 to day 7. Even though Neku's sprite is the one in the middle, he retreats backwards when he gets the headache, giving the suggestion that he's actually sort of behind Joshua. That doesn't happen on day 7 though, meaning Neku is definitely far enough in front that Joshua can see him-- and that's when Joshua finally reacts.

How could Joshua misunderstanding Minamimoto's target contribute to this? Regardless of the misunderstanding here, it's clear to me that Joshua views Minamimoto as enough of a threat that he doesn't even glance at Neku while he's having a memory migraine. But the fact that Joshua does notice on W2D7 seems a little less random if that misunderstanding had cleared up for him and caused him to be less zeroed in on Minamimoto. Keep in mind that these four events split evenly into "before W2D5" and "after W2D5." That means that the first two, Joshua would have thought Neku was the target, and the last two are when Joshua knows he was the target all along.

It makes some sense that Joshua might be so focused on Minamimoto that he doesn't notice what's going on with Neku if he thought Neku was being targeted, but what's going on W2D6? Joshua should know by then it's not Neku that Minamimoto was after. Hell, Minamimoto saved both of them earlier that day so why is he so focused on him then but not the next day? I suspect it's because this was Joshua's first time talking to Minamimoto while knowing he tried to kill him, and he was very absorbed in it.

So on days 1 and 2, Joshua was totally focused on Minamimoto because he viewed him as a threat to his proxy. Day 6 Joshua is focused on Minamimoto but it's not about him being an immediate threat, and on day 7 Minamimoto is at his most dangerous, but Joshua thought he could relax more because he was the target and not Neku.

There is one more thing that might keep this from the list of "Shit Joshua Did Not Know About," and it's the fact that Neku… talks? He talks while he's in migraine pain. Joshua may not spare a glance Neku's way but he can hear. Would that not tip him off earlier than W2D7 if he wasn't just ignoring Neku? Funny that-- the dialogue is actually sort of clever here.

Neku talks a decent amount when he's getting that memory migraine around Minamimoto, but the most suspect lines Neku has aren't spoken by him out loud.

Week 2 Day 2: Minamimoto: You fractals have no future! QED. Class is dismissed! [Minamimoto leaves] Neku: (Finally… The pounding's stopped. What language is that guy speaking?)

Week 2 Day 6: Neku: !? Zetta… Neku: (Nrrgh! My head… again…) […] Neku: (The pain's fading… Are he and I connected or something?)

Earlier on (as in the two days Joshua is most focused on Minamimoto as a threat) Neku does also speak out loud about his brain suffering. If Joshua isn't looking at him as well though, they're all things he could interpret as Neku simply complaining about the Weird Math Guy Who Says Confusing Things Through A Megaphone. Neku doesn't like people being loud or people speaking nonsense after all, and uh… Joshua also didn't have the highest opinion of Neku's sociability. Assumptions are a hell of a thing.

So Joshua went into his Game with Neku completely unaware that Hanekoma betrayed him and that Minamimoto was trying to kill him specifically. Then he carried on for nearly the majority of this game without knowing that Minamimoto-- or perhpas the combination of him and Minamimoto-- was giving his proxy debilitating headaches. What does that mean for his character?

Little, but interesting things, I think. I find it pretty compelling that Joshua missed something big about Neku because he was so self-involved even while trying to protect him. It's a neat thing to point at and go "yup, Neku's not the only one who looks stupid for writing people off." I think it also lends well to the idea that they were both getting to know each other in week 2.

Also-- we're coming back to that pin from earlier-- I think it helps flesh out a difference between Neku and Joshua's situations at the end of the game.

Neku: I'm glad I met you guys. You made me… pick up on things, I probably would've just gone on ignoring. Trust your partner… and I do. I can't forgive you, but I trust you.

If you've collected all the secret reports, after Neku's ending monologue and the credits, there's the secret ending. And I feel like the idea of "trust vs. forgiveness" is a palpable element when the ending is viewed as a whole like this. TWEWY doesn't touch upon the idea of forgiveness nearly as much as it does the idea of trust, but I can't help but see a distinction between the two in Joshua just as much as Neku. Only where Neku trusts Joshua but doesn't forgive him yet, Joshua forgives Hanekoma but doesn't trust him yet.

Think about it, doesn't "forgives but does not trust" perfectly describe all of Joshua's future behavior towards Hanekoma? He'll hang around Mr. H in the Room of Reckoning and 104, or talk with him casually about the destruction of a neighboring city. But he wont talk to him if he's upset, or tell him any of his plans anymore. He doesn't seem to hold any of it against Mr. H but he refuses to confide in or rely on him. That turnaround feels really strong if you look at how much Joshua relied on him beforehand. Or if you view his impression of his assassination attempt as contingent on his trust of Mr. H.

The crumbs of information we get about Joshua and Hanekoma's relationship after the betrayal might seem sort of circumstantial. Joshua doesn't want to talk about his feelings for Neku in the secret ending. That carries over into A New Day, and seems to be about Neku. And then in NEO Joshua doesn't give any information to Mr. H for… unknowable NEO plot reasons. But there's something else between og TWEWY and NEO to suggest that Joshua doesn't trust Hanekoma with shit.

A New Day- Hanekoma (over the phone): If that kid is who I think he is, then he probably doesn't know a thing. If he's who YOU think he is, then he probably won't say a thing.

At first this reads fine because Joshua spent his week with Neku tight lipped and evasive as hell. But still, isn't it a little weird for Mr. H to be saying this? He tells Mr. H stuff, doesn't he? Not anymore! It feels like this Hanekoma is talking pretty universally despite having been the exception. But he doesn't know shit and he doesn't propose he can help them know shit if it's about Joshua. And maybe Coco's fake Shibuya has something to do with that, but it's hard to say.

Honestly, aside from gaining the perspective to not destroy a whole city (important), it's easy to look at this and wonder if Joshua came out of TWEWY worse off. And… yeah, NEO really doesn't seem to help that. But I'm going to end this off with some really vague NEO speculation.

What if it's REALLY just Hanekoma who doesn't know shit about Joshua now? It's probably impossible to know the extent of this, but for some reason Shiki and Beat seem to treat Joshua with a slight sense of familiarity now…? The fandom also (quite reasonably) assumes that the real final day of NEO is the first time Neku has seen Joshua since the final day of TWEWY but we don't actually know that. Some food for thought.

[inchidentallybackup]

ok so I am obsessed with this poetry/Oscar series by @piastriachios and I need to just put my thoughts here rather than messing with the visuals of the post

the fact that so much is emphasized about how poetry is this clean, pure line of thought from brain to pen when so many people see it as "flowery" or "fussy" or worse, intellectual in an elitist sense. and it's like the way people (looking at you, Dax Sh*pard) see Oscar and assume he's Just a Guy and casually fling all these bro-ey assumptions at him thinking he'll pick them up and play ball. but every time one of those comes at him Oscar visibly withdraws and casts that Australian sound-of-hesitation-and-disagreement and hits back with something much simpler and nothing to do with outside approval. he has A-levels in maths, physics and computer science but he also chooses daring and risk above all else. he said goodbye to his dad and lived half a world away from his family from age 14, pushed himself to succeed at school alongside his racing career, stood up against an entire F1 team to choose where he took his F1 seat, and has had one of the ballsiest rookie seasons for a long time.

the emphasis on the bravery and the guts it takes to compose poetry as well - how exposed you are. and there's Oscar following on from Carlos and Daniel as Lando's teammate hot on the heels of controversy - and he makes the solid decision to just be himself, with absolutely nothing in common with the naturally media-friendly big personalities that came before him. it feels so tempting to class him as awkward or just shy but it's not the case. he will not dance when told to and he won't fill space if it doesn't feel right. he won't play even a somewhat false part to Lando for the sake of winning over fans and media (a lot of whom already looked askance at him). he also isn't humble and deferential to Lando just for the impression it will give. he knows he's the rookie and he knows Lando is the established F1 driver. none of that matters on the track of course. but everywhere else, it does. so it matters to him.

and then there's his unbroken resilience and lack of relationship with regret. he celebrates with humility as well as pride when he does well, and stares disappointment down with that determined look on his face. because of course he feels things and of course it's more than what he will allow just anyone to know about him. but even that is strategic and smart. his own family told him that to pursue this career the way he wanted he would have to largely be solitary. he didn't even find a girlfriend just to have someone around to absorb the loneliness as so many young men do, she has her own education and career and family and has only been to certain races each year. and his choice was to not try and find a new family but to be his own man. "that's the type of chaos that happens when your brain interferes with your body". he knows what things he's supposed to be doing and what his responsibilities are meant to be. it isn't his job yet to try and be more for the sake of someone else or worry about what he'll be expected to do in the future. that will be then, this is now.

"thinking will make mistakes" and if that doesn't describe Oscar's approach of demanding space to be deliberate and comfortable. a huge amount of Lando's discussions about his own mental health are on him trying to live more for the moment and to not get stuck in his own head. he said of the Sprint win 'Oscar didn't make any mistakes and I did, so he deserved that win more than me' (paraphrased). Lando also said that he's gained a lot from having Oscar as a teammate and that's honestly an understatement for Lando's success in the 2023 season. they're both preternaturally disposed to view life and racing in totally different but not remotely clashing ways. Oscar's clarity and ability to remain in the moment is something Lando's always known he needs more of because it sharpens and hones his own abilities the way it does for Oscar. it's like having a walking buddy who keeps pointing at things on the horizon and making you look up to see. you don't have to see in the same way or even see the same things, you just have to remember to look.

"kick against words as you would kick back on a swing" and "you've got to feel as if the soles of your feet are touching the sky" godddd when you watch the races from the onboards and appreciate the rocket science and mortal risk of each and every race - and how vastly different F1 is to F2 and why so many young men are denied a seat… Oscar could never be the placid creature he seems when he's outside the car. it's just that who he really is exists when he's in the car and life for him outside of it is something different. he's possibly the most 'purely driven by a passion for racing' racing driver in a Prostian sense for a long time. (Max being a different kettle of fish entirely and not my topic to get into) but there's a lack of alpha male anger and hostility to him that existed in those previous generations that I think is what propelled him in the Qatar sprint and has resulted in his passing looking like someone who's more like three or four years into his F1 career than a rookie. Oscar will not give up his daring for anyone or anything. that's the truth of that bright crimson streak across his cheeks when he lifts his helmet off before he slowly becomes pale and retiring again.

I just really love that post and it was completely unnecessary and probably very unpoetic of me to ramble about it like this but it's intended as fully appreciative <3