#I am in several discord groups ! and I love them and everyone in them

[rexxdjarin]

I do think we as a fandom need to have an honest conversation about how discord has kinda taken so many of us away from communicating and interacting with the fandom as a whole.

I understand there are certain bonds and friendships formed and people you start talking to consistently over others. But if it’s gotten to the point where those are the ONLY people you interact with, whether on discord or the tumblr dash, it can become extremely alienating to the rest of the fandom.

Things across the fandom have gotten kinda cliquey. And I am more than sure I have contributed to this as well! So in a way, this is a realization for myself too.

Don’t become so invested in the two or three groups of friends you’re apart of that you forget everyone else. There are always new people on here to interact with and if people realize that you’re in some kind of group in a different space that they arent they can become intimidated or feel like they’re intruding. I never want to make anyone feel that way.

I want to talk to everyone. I want everyone to feel like they can share thoughts on each others posts. I want everyone to feel like they can comment on someone’s works again.

I’m not saying discord is the main reason why tumblr fandom has been really off lately. (Because let’s be honest there’s been a myriad of other issues from tumblr itself that has led people to seek out other sites and I don’t blame them) but I think it’s contributing to making fandom spaces feel so selective and small and I really want to put a stop to that the best way I can.

We’re literally all just nerds on this site obsessed with the same crazy fandom shit and I want to do my best to get back to the inclusive and collaborative space this used to be.

[izpira-se-zlato]

JO Berlin, 12.03.24

Haphazard, incomplete, typed up for friends on discord and yeeting here in case anyone finds it interesting

I arrived at 16:10 and was number 18 for general access. Now I need to figure out how to remove the number before our business event 😂 . There was no one else for like a hour before or after

The queue was super chill. I got rid of a few more Hojans

we had doors at 19:00 for GA and the first opener started at 19:15, which was unexpected but nice

Sector5 were so much fun! And there was one (1) hardcore Fan in the audience 😂

JC Stewart made the same jokes as in Helsinki but I am easily amused so it was a good fit

while waiting for the gig to start, my friend checked her IG and saw that her favorite place to get film developed had posted a pic with Sadie... I forgot her last name again. Sink? Damon's bff. Damon and her left in a cab after the gig

I was Jance side 4/5 row. Pretty nice spot, I think

Katrina opener!! So did they drop SSOL for good?

WE GOT BARVE OCEANA

Bojan came into the crowd to have a friend sing and he was so sweaty and so close

People were so respectful and didn't touch him I think?

their outfits??

I died at Bele sanje, a Jance moment I will post which. Yeah.

there was another moment later where Jan brushed his hand through Nace's hair

Kris came over so Jan and Kris played at Nace and it was hot

Jan sat down at the piano for um and I think he actually played a note or two

no PiJanO otherwise. I don't think he played it for ew either

Bojan is getting better at the ew piano part. He actually lost his lyrics tho when he saw the fan project by the official JO discord

no bluza 😭

Bojan said the actual working title is Behind Those Eyes but for Germany it would stay Schlager (it is not a Schlager)

he was very surprised by how well we knew the lyrics to šta bih ja

we won't understand the majority of the songs on the new album if we don't speak Slovene/Serbian. Everyone cheered like mad

I actually saw Jure several times??

the stage was too small for Racik backdrop

"who's from somewhere else? I guess a lot of Finnish people? No? Polish?"

there were eight people (according to Bojan) from Slovenia and he hoped they already knew them before ESC

I think Bojan checked with Jan/warned him that he would spray him during omamljeno telo

Nace kept smirking at Jan??

no encore because everyone just. Left after the band and left the stage

the boys looked so so happy on stage

Post gig edition:

we talked to Vita and omg she is lovely. Also, I need to stop talking so much. But jfc

I got a selfie with Teya 😊 did not talk too much, also bc she had to get into her Uber that was waiting

Nace and Kris came out for pictures but left before we had a chance to talk to them

Jan came out afterwards and talked to the ten or so people still left

his fucking voice oh my god

Jan's coat is fake fur and not as soft as it looks

I gave Jan a Hojan sticker

I asked Jan if he knew what date it was and he did 😂

according to Jan, Jure doesn't come out after gigs bc he goes straight to sleep

pretty sure Bojan is sick again (still?) He took a group pic with some people to not stay out in the cold for ages, and then just waved at us to "preserve his health for the tour"

[no1sharkenthusaist]

! hsr headcannons for several characters ! [modern au]

♪ In-ter-net-o ya-me-ro ♪!

Y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o n l i n e !

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Characters : Dan Heng, Serval, Blade, Gepard, March

Plot : no real plot, just headcannons about honkai Characters in a modern au setting

Tags : modern au, headcannons, fluff, slight crack, wrote this at 11pm while heading home from a road trip

authors note : omg got a steam deck for my birthday (may 30th) and I. AM. IN. LOVE !!! I could talk abt it for hours and hours but i have my discord for that ehe. Anyways, ive been having fun rediscovering my old childhood games and thats when i had an epiphany. Hsr or genshin boys in a ddlc type scenario!!! Feeling so swag abt the idea. Also i got out of school so more uploads yaya. Thank u all for the support on my intro page yippee. I promise not to let you all down

╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ enjoy !

DANHENG

Now playing : Scrawny - The Wallows

He definitely dresses like with collared shirts and kinda has that accidental soft boy look

English major frfr

definitely listens to lovejoy/wilbursoot and bo burnham

Water drinker enthusiast (even tho he forgets to drink half the time-)

burnt out gifted kid

messed up sleeping schedules

Hes that quiet guy everyone has a crush on to some extent

He looks cold and serious during lectures, but hes actually just daydreaming and has his head in the clouds

Probably stays with the same group of kids he met in middle school because he cant socialize

I think said kids would be march, stelle/caleus, himeko And on ocasion blade, kafka, and silverwolf

Welt would be a chill english teacher that would let Dan Heng sit in his classroom during lunch

he likes going to concerts a lot

Learned to play guitar in middle school but doesnt like playing in front of people

Consider yourself lucky if he plays in front of you

Extremely oblivious to romance

Girls will try to flirt with him but he will just have a blank and confused look

Spends his free time in book stores shopping for records

Ps5 gamer frfr

Theater kid (had a hamilton phase)

SERVAL

Now playing : Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence

Shut me up by mindless self indulgence on loop

Like its probably to an unhealthy level

Always has headphones in(that gepard gave her for her birthday)(And so loud to the point you can hear the music standing next to her)

(went deaf at the ripe age of 13, after that it was all "huh?" /j)

Shirts from old bands, baggy jeans, fishnets, etc

Had an alt phase

Bad habit of smashing guitars

Dropped out of college after first semester

Had a band in highschool with Blade and Dan Heng that received noise complaints on a regular Basis

Really extroverted and easy to get along with

Loves going to concerts (especially the ones that get crazy like halfway through )

Probably gets in fights during black friday

Addicted to coffee (gepards needs to step in and help her drink something else)

Likes bitter stuff more than sweet stuff

Cares very deeply for her friends

The type of gal to go on road trips with friends and go Camping

Goes to protests every other tuesday

Probably banned from several places

very passionate about things she loves

Loves scary movies and Rollercoasters

The six flags employees have memorized her name

(shes just so cool i wanna be like her fr)

BLADE

Now playing : Consequences - Lovejoy

Theater kid (would never admit it tho)

Kafka teases him about it so much

met kafka and silverwolf in detention

The teachers hate the three of them

Alt kid and never got out of his emo phase

Besties with serval, change my mind

Kafka probably pushed him to join boxing to get his anger out in a less…destructive way

Loves the sleepovers he has with kafka and silverwolf

Broke silverwolf's tv while playing wii sports

Goes to college, no clue what he wants to do so hes just doing liberal studies

Adopted a small stray cat he saw on the ground during a storm

he tries to be tough and mean, but hes a big Softy

Loves the Beetlejuice musical(and mean girls but we dont talk about that)

has probably been on probation on multiple occasions

Probably vandalized the car of someone he didnt like

Kafka has to sweet talk everyone out of getting blade in serious trouble

Hes really good at basketball, he just doesnt like it so he never pushed it further

Doesnt really like or understands sports

probably listens to videogame osts 24/7

GEPARD

Now Playing : Pretty Face - PUBLIC

Getting serval out of trouble isnt a choice, its a lifestyle

Which is ironic, as he is a criminal justice major

But he still will always be her biggest supporter

Dresses (like a costco dad) soft boy by pure accident

Completely oblivious to anything and everything

Enjoys gardening and has a lemon Tree

Cave Town enthusiast

Lemonade Enthusiast

Sends people those "reminder to drink water and be happy" messages

Straight 4.0 GPA student. The teachers loved Him

Was really shy so he didnt have many friends growing up (Serval had to help him out)

Hates rollercoasters, serval drags him around six flags and he screams his head off

Poor guy :<

Still loves it since he loves hanging out with his sister

Student council secretary

No clue how the internet and technology works

Strong sense of justice

That has gotten him involved in several issues

Which ironically, serval got him out of

Wholesome cinnamon roll, pls protecc

MARCH 7TH

Now playing : Cupid - FIFTY FIFTY

That one girl in class that no one could hate

Class representative and student council public relations officer

Photography major (duh)

Social butterfly and very easy to talk to

Want to go out to go eat something sweet while having fun? March has you covered !

March Makes friendship braclets and sells them so she can go shopping

has a secret stash of candy hidden in her dorm

March has a babysitting gig and comes to peoples houses with candy

Shes a little kid magnet, they all love her so much

had a club penguin phase with Dan Heng and they both shudder just thinking about it

learned all her profanity from watching Dan Heng play Call Of Duty

sucks at english, fries her brain like a hashbrown

k-pop girlie

dresses really cute with cardigans and pastel pinks

(watched aphmau, Her favorite one was a mermaid tales and mystreet) [submitted by someone on my discord who wants to stay anon]

plays overwatch and says things like "Hey, thats not nice!"

lowkey kind of a teachers pet-

Loves webtoons and collects the physical releases

! Thats a wrap !

! Join my discord HERE !

! Likes, reblogs, comments are greatly appreciated !

and thank you for reading ^^

♪ Overdose 君とふたり やるせない日々♪

! y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o f f l i n e !

t h a n k y o u f o r c o m i n g ~

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[bambi-kinos]

excerpts from the McLennon server (hamburg part 2)

Thank you everyone for your patience. This is Part Two of the ongoing Hamburg Conversation from the McLennon server. Part One is here: https://www.tumblr.com/bambi-kinos/718114537612656640/excerpts-from-the-mclennon-server

In Part Two of the Hamburg Conversation we discussed the 1960 trip from Paul’s POV and why he abandoned the Beatles to get a job as a coil winder. This goes into Stuart and Klaus and the Exis, plus how Paul reacted to John’s mind games where he pitted his loved ones against each other. Much has been made of John in Hamburg and how it connected to his later patterns but very little discussion of Paul comparatively.

This conversation was much messier as it spanned several days. We used Discord’s “reply” feature liberally. Sometimes you will see disparate time stamps; this is because I decided to pair the replies with the original comments they were replying to for the sake of readability. Please let me know if there are any confusing points where this doesn’t work and I’ll do my best to clarify the conversation. 

***

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/07/2023 11:02 PM I am back on my bullshit about Hamburg again. this period is just super fascinating to me because of all the possibilities and the way things happened the way they did

I also want to understand why Paul chose John when the first Hamburg trip really sucked in a lot of ways and it could easily have ended with them going off to do something else.

in the beginning John helped Stuart bully Paul and he ostracized Paul from the group via the Exis (apparently deliberately? I go back and forth on this all the time, because I wouldn't put it past John to do it on purpose... but then again his MO was to get enamored with something new only to eventually drop it and snuggle up to Paul again so John probably didn't see it that way?) But once all of that was over and they were back in Liverpool, John tracked down Paul and he had to do a lot of shitwork to get back into Paul's good graces again.

Paul found a job at his dad's behest but I don't think he would have continued with the Beatles if John hadn't come to fetch him. John did something really smart when he came to fetch Paul from the yard where Paul was working: he brought George. First he had to tell George "yeah I'm back" but then he brought George with him to ask Paul to come back. Smart. Strength in numbers. Shows that he's serious and it doesn't look like he's begging because he brought another band member with him.

but Paul didn't leave that job immediately. It took months for Paul to fully come back to the Beatles. John eventually had to give him an ultimatum. I think after the experience of Stuart and the Exis and the group bullying, I think that those months were John working his way back into Paul's good graces again. And eventually Paul forced John to prove that he still wanted Paul, in a way. Earlier when we talked about this Betty made a really good point that Paul was the one fighting for the music, like John was. Stuart met Astrid and John let him go because he knew Stuart was already choosing Astrid over him so it was better not to fight it. But that period after John came back... that's fascinating. John recuperated for a while by not telling anyone he had come back. Paul got a job (and it sounds like he didn't need a lot of pushing) and I think it was because he might have been preparing to leave the Beatles thing behind completely.

Like I think Paul came back to Liverpool thinking that he and John were not friends anymore. IMO Paul carried the memory of the experience with the Exis around and that he remained distant from them forever.

Funnily enough, Paul has turned out the real black sheep of the whole trip. Everybody hates him and I only feel sorry for him.” — Stuart Sutcliffe in a letter to Rod Murray, late 1960

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/07/2023 11:09 PM I mean look at that. Look at the sheer petty contempt in that quote + the caricature. That's something else man. There's no way Paul doesn't carry the memory of that with him. And I think its present in the Revolver cover as well. Look at how Klaus portrays Paul:

I think Paul looks off to the side because that's all Klaus really gets out of him. We all know what it's like to be treated in a crappy way by friends-of-your-friends and I've said before that I think the first Hamburg trip is where a lot of John and Paul's patterns got solidified. So Paul isn't friends with the Exis, even in 1966, because he remembers who Klaus is and who he hung out with and I think those memories are very painful for him. He holds on to them. Maybe not grudges but he holds onto that pain. (And I mean, that's fair. I still remember my elementary school bully and if she were on fire in front of me I wouldn't even take a whizz on her.)

Klaus only ever saw Paul's profile... if they don't meet your eyes do you really know them? John rarely met Yoko's eyes in public I notice, whereas he was constantly diving into Paul's.... right up until that photo from the Lost Weekend where he's turned as far away from Paul as he can get... So Paul's profile being the thing Klaus drew speaks to the distance between Paul and Klaus... and Paul and the other Beatles. Even among other misfits, Paul doesn't fit in. In a lot of ways Linda was the only one who could accept him for his true self even if there was a lot of nastiness underneath that.

I think the 1966 cover is indicative that Paul held Klaus at a distance, even then. Klaus saw Paul's loneliness in Hamburg and how this made him bitter, apparently doesn't empathize with it very much since he played on HDYS.

If Klaus had tried to make friends with Paul as adults, he would have run full into the Wall. There's no way that Paul McCartney would be friends with someone who drew a caricature of him like that when Paul was friendless and in pain and the only thing he had was music and girls.

And I understand that Hamburg was full of psychosexual drama from 18 and 20 year olds, but I think that its significant because of how Paul got frozen in time due to the fame thing, struggling to grow up, suffering from a kind of Peter Pan syndrome.

So I find it interesting that... Paul got a job after Hamburg. I don't think John would have had to show up with George on Paul's lunch break and essentially beg him to come back if Paul had been gung ho about the Beatles. John had to earn his way back into a friendship with Paul. It took months for Paul to give up the job and join the Beatles fully, John remembers it as a "long trip."

There's another recollection that when John finally gave Paul the ultimatum that Paul bounced into the Cavern -- what if this is Paul being happy that John chose him, that John cared enough to give Paul an ultimatum?

John remembers it as a custody battle between him and Jim where he fought Jim for Paul's attention... but what if Paul saw it as something else entirely?

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/07/2023 11:20 PM Like, Paul got a job after Hamburg. He didn't know that John was back in town. I don't think we know when John told him that he was back. I think Paul got a job because he thought that he and John were not friends anymore after his experiences in Hamburg and the last thing he expected was for John to show up and nag him about coming back. I think Paul was convinced that John would go all in with Stuart and the Exis or that they were a sign that John was done with Paul completely. He didn't understand that John was watching Paul the entire time they were in Hamburg, watching Paul be in the filth with him, taking the pills and dealing with the gangsters and living for the music in a way that Stuart never could.

And from Paul's POV, the long stretch of months between John finding him at the spooling yards to beg Paul to come back, and Paul being given an ultimatum that he needed to choose between his job or the Beatles -- I think that period was Paul waiting to see if John really loved him/was really wanting to be Paul's friend or not.

BRrraCKets! — 05/08/2023 4:56 AM Paul doesnt suffer fools gladly, he called out the Exis on some of their bullshit and they didnt like it. They also took to Stuart and I would imagine it was a case of if your friend doesnt like someone then they dont either. Ive always felt that Klaus didnt like Paul, most of his drawings of him arent very nice, theres an odd one thats ok. That Revolver cover has always irked me with how hes drawn Paul compared to the others. I like your take on it.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 5:01 AM Do you remember the details on Paul's interactions with the Exis? I don't remember that from Tune In.

That's a really good point about Stu not liking him so the others took the lead from him, oof.

I think Klaus may have (hopefully) chilled out on Paul since then but yeah, I don't think they're really friendly towards each other. Maybe "dislike" is too strong but they only ever had John and Stu in common and, well. Paul never let Klaus in.

BRrraCKets! — 05/08/2023 5:04 AM Ive read of it somewhere but cant remember where!  It was just a sentence or two.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 5:04 AM Probably a Paul bio of which I am reading McCartney Legacy

we'll have to wait for Betty to wake up

BRrraCKets! — 05/08/2023 5:45 AM I wonder, when Stuart left the Beatles, did Klaus hope to take his place on the bass. Paul stepping in would have been another reason to dislike him.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 5:47 AM That's an interesting idea. No clue but maybe that's an angle....

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 6:16 PM He did. I believe he says it in his memoirs, but also in an interview about the book in 2001. He said he asked John, but it was too late; Paul had already taken up the bass

Even if that had happened, I don’t think Klaus would’ve fit in, them all being from Liverpool and Klaus being German (I’m half-German, I can say that lol)

Plus he came from a very rich (diamond mines etc) background..sure, his family lost everything in the war, but some of the posh attitude was still there. And despite being fascinated by it, he didn’t consider rock n roll “real” music

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 7:19 PM did not know this about Klaus, huh

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 7:24 PM He talked about his grandfather being this fabulously rich eccentric

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 7:25 PM huh! i need to check his stuff out then

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 7:31 PM It’s in this German interview

https://www.sueddeutsche.de/kultur/im-interview-klaus-voormann-ich-waere-besser-gewesen-als-paul-1.432929

With the provocative headline “I would’ve been better than Paul”

Apple_Scruff — 05/08/2023 5:48 AM Paul playing based has always sounded like a forced thing out of desperation.

I doubt he would have agreed to switch to bass if Klaus was offering.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 5:51 AM Agree but....he may not have liked it if Klaus offered since he was so pushy about Stuart's playing.

BRrraCKets! — 05/08/2023 6:14 AM He didnt want anyone else muscling in. The group nucleus was set. His guitar was shot, he was filling in on piano, a bit of bass when S couldnt be arsed to show up, what else was he to do when G&J downright refused to take it on. Theyd gone home by then too.

mynamesbetty — 05/08/2023 7:50 AM unfortunately I can't think of anything like that in what I've read, I'll take a look at Tune In and the other Paul bios I have later We know that Paul is willing to ice people out when he feels they aren't working out for him as friends/collaborators, and after months of doing the most for the group and getting shat on  by his songwriting partner and the Exis he was probably thinking "fuck it, I don't need this treatment" and got a job to start separating himself from the group

But John knows by now that Paul is his golden ticket and he has to get Paul back, so once he gets over the self-pity of leaving Hamburg in disgrace and works up the courage to ask Paul to come back, he brings George along to present a united front

The Beatles first show after coming back from Hamburg was on December 27 1960 at Litherland Town Hall, a few weeks after John arrived back in Liverpool

And I'd bet anything that Paul skipping back to rehearsal all smiles was because he felt like he'd gotten one over on Stuart and the Exis, in a "nyah-nyah he chose me over you (blows raspberries and making wanking motion)" kind of way

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 8:46 AM yesss perf

And it all worked out for him when John didn't discipline Paul for punching Stuart even tho he most likely lost

He had a good feeling about John making his choice too....

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 10:24 AM According to that interview from 2001, Klaus asked John to join and play bass right after Stu left, but John said Paul had already taken up the bass

Of course, in 2001, Klaus was still speculating what would have happened if he became the 5th Beatle and saying he thinks his bass playing would’ve been better for John’s style in later years

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 10:33 AM That whole interview [Klaus] showed both admiration and, imo, some disdain for Paul (and Paul wrote the foreword for his book, I believe) In that Interview he also vehemently denies anything sexual between John and Stu

It’s a fascinating period. I believe I read John was back in Liverpool anywhere from 10 days to three weeks before contacting George and Paul Which means he couldn’t have been to any of their usual hangouts

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 10:36 AM lol lmao

>better for John's later style >john and stu had nothing sexual going on incredible. so many things wrong

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 12:01 PM John periodically took time off to recharge, it was one of his quirks/needs.

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 10:45 AM I thinks it’s still a bit of envy…everyone who got close to the Beatles and thinks “what if”

To be fair, he did admit that Paul was instrumental in making the Beatles famous, because “John wasn’t a frontman” and Paul was the only professional of the group

But you can read between the lines that there is disdain there for the Beatles’ early sound and Paul was a “charlatan”….the PR man

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 10:58 AM It’s interesting that John said the way he felt after he came back after Hamburg was similar to how he felt before Paris 1961…but time he wanted Paul to be there

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 12:09 PM and Paris 1961 ended up being a two week period of great renewal and joy for John, all because of Paul. No wonder he tried to recreate it with Yoko.

louiselux — 05/08/2023 11:41 AM It’s such a fascinating period! In the breakup Paul must’ve recognised some of John’s behaviour from back then. Dropping Paul and replacing him with someone else who is more arty and special. John may have been being tactical about it back then, maybe playing Paul and Stu against each other,  waiting to see where the nexus of power/talent/ambition lay, and therefore his future. Paul wouldn’t have appreciated that at all, like who would? Also John must’ve known the power he had over Paul, and vice versa, in any number of ways inc sexuality, attraction, love, obsession. That cartoon by Klaus is so deeply unkind, coupled with Stu’s letter. You have to wonder what Paul was like with them, and what all of their behaviour was like on the daily.

louiselux — 05/08/2023 11:51 AM But it is so interesting that Paul got a crappy job on the lorries, John ignored them all for weeks, and Stu was never coming back to the band. Because the gig they subsequently did that Christmas at Litherland Town Hall was where they realised how good they were compared to the Liverpool bands, and how vastly exciting the public found them. So back from Hamburg they obviously collectively didn’t know where they were going or what they were doing, or even if they were a band. I wonder just how much persuasion had to go on on John’s part to get back in with Paul. A lot of charming, a lot of fuss and attention, persuading, light grovelling

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 12:18 PM in Tune In there's a lot of quotes from George about how they felt they had a lot of talent compared to the other bands, even when they were JaPaGe and they didn't actually warrant the confidence. I think for them they were seeking energy, technical ability, and stamina which Hamburg earned them in spades and brought their talent up to their expectations at last.

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 11:57 AM Definitely shades of Yoko/John later on…Paul probably hoped/thought that would play out the same way as Stu.

But we also get so many contradictory stories out of Hamburg, like John claiming he and Paul bullied Stu and afterwards felt bad about it John turned away from music after Julia’s death and turned to drink and rage,  it also kinda to Stu and art..only Paul’s persistence in pursuing John (for the band, for himself) turned that a bit back around.

I always wonder if at that point, John wasn’t getting from Paul what he really wanted, also there was still the age gap.. Stu was older, maybe came across as more mature and adventurous

Even George, I believe, said with Yoko, John was trying to replicate what he had with Stu.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 12:20 PM Yeah. its a conundrum about what that means. Did John actually feel bad after bullying Stu or did he only feel bad because then Stu died and he did some self reflecting?

Paul was very instrumental in helping John cope with losing Julia, to be fair. Paul is cited by many outsiders to be the only one who never lost his patience with John even when he was being a public embarrassment or acting violent and cruel. my personal take is that Paul is the one who cleaned John up and made him fit company for Stu and Cynthia and otherwise they would have both run away from John..

louiselux — 05/08/2023 12:01 PM That is completely fascinating to think of Yoko as a Stu replacement.

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 12:03 PM Yoko’s comments how John talked about Stu every day and how he was the best friend he ever had…I always thought she did that hurt Paul. And also, Stu died so young, I can believe John put him up on some untouchable pedestal that wouldn’t have survived if Stu had lived

louiselux — 05/08/2023 12:04 PM Agreed. You have to wonder what Lennon/McCartney would have been like with a Sutcliffe in the mix. Maybe not that different, possibly. Because Paul grew in confidence and became endlessly bold and weird

louiselux — 05/08/2023 12:08 PM Yoko likely said a lot of things with the intention of hurting him

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 12:08 PM A lot of people who were John-oriented have this complaint, that they think Paul was somehow "fake" just because he's good at selling and connects with an audience. IMO it always says a lot more about the complainer's personal issues with Paul rather than it being a legitimate criticism. Klaus doesn't like Paul because Paul cut the Exis down to size and Stuart apparently overtly hated him, then Stuart died and Paul took over the bass position which Klaus apparently asked for himself (‼️) and then Paul had the nerve to go swanning all over the world getting famous for being John's creative partner.... and no matter what Klaus says, he has eyes, he knows how John looked at Paul and what that meant.

It's just another case of someone being bitter because of Paul's success. John used Klaus as a bassman on HDYS the recording that Ringo walked out on but George did not.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 12:16 PM It being John looking for a potential future, that's an interesting idea. I think at that point John had kind of given up on that since he had been kicked out of art school by that point or was on his way to doing it. Music became his life because it kept his attention and he loved it -- he told a girl he was dating at the Cavern not to screw up her placement at art school the way he did. I don't know if he had high expectations for himself there -- what did John think of his heart? was he actually proud of it?

Paul said that he'd sometimes gang up on Stu with John as well as vice versa so I think it was definitely a case of John pitting them against each other to make them compete for the Best Friend spot. But then when Paul was deported he got a job instead of crawling back to John.... very reminiscent of the break up. Paul would fight for John but once he perceived he lost (Stu, Yoko) then he was perfectly capable of cutting John off. Paul is sensitive to being mistreated.

this is all speculation but I think that first trip was hard for Paul. He was lonely, he wanted John's attention, probably acted out and then got mocked and jeered at for it.

So he paid women to pay attention to him and then he was attractive and treated them decently which made him popular so while John is enjoying Stu's company and hanging out with the Exis, Paul simply hides in women and practices his guitar.

We have seen this before.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 12:21 PM John wanted an equal and Paul just wasn't it, even if they had chemistry. John didn't take Paul seriously until Hamburg in 1960 when he watched Paul become a man and watched him be furiously independent no matter what slings and arrows he took.

But Stu was patient and was able to meet John on a different field with Art, and John needed that very much. Paul was too young for what he wanted in a very real way.

with a Stuart that lived, I think Paul would have been pushed to make a public declaration to John instead of waffling forever. Stu was Paul's only serious competition.

louiselux — 05/08/2023 1:31 PM I think so too! Something would have had to give, because John could have gone running off to Stu at any moment

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 1:33 PM I do wonder about that scenario. It looked like John had accepted that Stu was off with Astrid. And the Paris honeymoon happened while Stu was still alive. It seems like J and P had cemented and defined their relationship

Now if Stu and Astrid didn’t last and Stu came back to Liverpool at some point…

He may have always been hanging around in the background…or maybe not.

mynamesbetty — 05/08/2023 2:04 PM John praising Paul's abilities as a bass player in 1980 must have rankled him lol, he said Paul was one of the most innovative bass players in rock

mynamesbetty — 05/08/2023 2:27 PM addendum: The Beatles with Chas Newby on bass played the Casbah on December 17 1960, we regret the error

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 2:36 PM Good! I hope it rankled

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 3:35 PM Stu had no future in Liverpool and he knew it. His application for a position at the Liverpool art college was rejected and he had a great apprenticeship going with an older German artist who recognized his talent. Stuart had no reason to back to Liverpool except to visit. I also think that Stu found his person in Astrid and their relationship would have worked.

I think the greatest threat to Paul would not be Stu's presence but what he represented in John's life: a peer who had a profound hold on John in an avenue that Paul wasn't confident about competing in. I think Paul would be very worried about John going back to Stu for sure, because he can't help being insecure about their relationship.

I think, to this day even since John is fucking dead, Paul is still worried that he will make John disgusted or bored and that John will leave him again. Irrational? Yeah. True? You bet.

I think a timeline where Stuart lives would force Paul into a corner: either he breaks the relationship or he takes a leap of faith.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 4:01 PM if anything else, this fundamental fear of Paul's would be the driver to any action Paul took regarding John in a timeline where Stuart lives. The deathly fear that Stu will take John away from him, again... Stu didn't have to be present in Liverpool, his specter would hang over everything.

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 4:25 PM I can completely see that. And totally agree on Paul’s fears until this day.

I just wonder if Stu would’ve kept this idealised spot… or if he would’ve pissed John off some point like a lot of people did, which led John to cutting him off.

Or, I guess, John could’ve remained loyal to him like he did to many old friends (at least until New York) and maybe got him to do cover or promo art for The Beatles. Can you imagine?!

Stu was so very young; it’s difficult to say what could’ve happened

Misery — 05/08/2023 4:30 PM God and the thing with Paul in Hamburg too is like

Here’s this high strung cash strapped teenager. Now we’re going to take him to a foreign country, get him addicted to amphetamines, and completely abandon him for a “cooler” friend group. Wait, why is he being so annoying?????

Like, the exis loved George, and Pete was just doing his own thing because he was so independent from the rest of the group, meanwhile Paul is all of a sudden entirely friendless for seemingly no reason, and the things that he was doing back in Liverpool are suddenly seen as annoying and stupid, and he’s being ignored left and right.

And obviously the huge caveat for the drama in Hamburg is of course that they were all idiot teens/barely adults, who had suddenly been thrust into a new stressful circumstance, so no wonder they all went insane a little bit.

Like you’ve all said it’s something that time/stu living would change a lot, but that wasn’t meant to be

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 6:24 PM I really feel for Paul during that trip. I think we can kinda guess what he was feeling, but I can’t get a real read on John at the time.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 7:24 PM Yeah, John is a real enigma here. He was very close mouthed about this period aside from some little things. Presumably because it's too painful with Stuart's death. Or maybe he just didn't care because the whole thing didn't have the same weight for him as it did for Paul... or he was too ashamed to talk about it....

But John not caring seems very unlikely since Hamburg 1960 is where he came out even more insane about Paul.

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 7:33 PM It might’ve been the drugs, his sexual explorations, mental health issues..but it is interesting he didn’t really talk about that period… Maybe too painful because it was the real start of them as The Beatles and he really missed it

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 7:38 PM ouch

this is a big part of it i bet

mynamesbetty — 05/08/2023 8:04 PM Tune In, written by the king of the Paul haters, pg 374-5

Many Years From Now, pg 64-5

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 8:06 PM the amount of seething contempt for a lonely 18 year old in these paragraphs, astounding

Morrigan — 05/08/2023 10:26 PM And I don’t think we can 100% trust Stu’s view of things either. That’s maybe how he wanted things to be. I’m not saying Paul didn’t have a rough time, but Stu may have embellished somewhat in that letter (because he also knew how important Paul was to John ultimately)

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/08/2023 10:54 PM Yeah. It occurs to me (like now, as I'm writing this) that Stuart was probably venting in that letter. I don't think he liked Paul at all but that's a lot of hatefulness in one sentence and I really dislike the idea of John deliberately tolerating someone who overtly despised Paul that much. John was an asshole at times but I struggle to imagine him encouraging that level of antipathy. So hopefully it wasn't quite that bad for Paul.

louiselux — 05/09/2023 3:12 AM Also him thinking that a letter from anyone reveals ‘the stark truth of the matter’ rather than just another pov on a situation. Mehhhh. I didn’t know that about Klaus asking to be the bass player. He seems to be a person who was used to getting what he wanted, being rich and pretty, and is it possible that he resented Paul for taking a place in the Beatles/John’s friendship that he thought should have been his?

louiselux — 05/09/2023 3:26 AM The situation is weird and so opaque. I doubt John ‘hated’ Paul, as Stu put it, because why would he suddenly hate him after being so close? But John might’ve loved being accepted as a part of the new exciting clique and that might’ve trumped everything else for a bit. John was obsessed with having his gang. It feels like a lot of heightened teenage dynamics we’re going on.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 9:23 AM thinking that the letter holds some objective truth is a classic mistake that Lewisohn makes all the time, because its easier than accepting that there were multiple POVs on what happened. Lewisohn thinks he can flatten everything and that there's an objective "truth" to discover and present (courtesy of him naturally.) It's just dumb no matter what. One of the first things I was taught about historical study was that primary sources are king because multiple POVs proliferate. It was Paul who compared Beatlemania to an earthquake and how different stories sprout from it and they're all true.

I wonder how much Klaus was shitposting or trying to grab attention via headlines with claims like that. I would be very surprised if John gave serious consideration to Klaus joining the band, Paul was already a sure thing and he clearly wasn't going to be happy with anyone else playing bass. I hope Klaus didn't actually think he had a shot, it just makes no sense for Klaus to join the Beatles from any angle.

If he really believed that he had a shot at joining the Beatles and Paul somehow stood in his way.... then uhhhh what the heck lmao

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 9:34 AM This seems very likely, good insight. Makes me wonder if John staying friends with Paul might have rankled Stu as their rivalry increased? "Don't worry Rod everyone else totally hates him here but I only feel sorry for him."

John liked new experiences and getting swept away with things so its not surprising that he got enamored with the Exis. They were arty, new, and offered a fresh POV for him to see the world. Anyone would be intrigued by such a friends group. The fact that they were happy to be dominated by John and enjoyed Stuart (especially since Stu and Astrid hit it off!) probably makes it inevitable that someone would end up on the outside and that someone was Paul.

1960 John especially would be feeling his adolescent insecurities very hard so he'd naturally want the Exis as under his thumb as he could get them. I wonder if Stuart also enjoyed being controlled that way? I don't actually know how independent he was of John compared to Paul. (Tho no one ever matched Paul in sheer tenaciousness when it came to escaping John's gravity well.)

The pills, alcohol, and sleeplessness would naturally exacerbate all this.

Morrigan — 05/09/2023 10:49 AM Maybe I’m being too judgmental when it comes to Klaus; it’s hard to judge his tone in written form. Maybe he sounded self-deprecating when answering, but I was surprised that 40 years on (at the time), instead of just saying “it’s tantalising to imagine me being part of the Beatles, but nah they were perfect they way they were and I’ve my own life”…he actually still brings up how his bass playing could’ve maybe been better for the band at some point.

To be fair, he also says Beatlemania wouldn’t have happened without Paul (his looks, his professionalism) , and that Klaus himself maybe wouldn’t have had the necessary charisma

Morrigan — 05/09/2023 10:53 AM Totally agree with this. It was a wild few months; them also being away from home for the first time as well (and in a very strange environment). So many outsiders have described the bond they had before Hamburg, how Paul seemed to make John come alive etc; they already had a solid foundation. I don’t think anyone could’ve muscled in there permanently

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 12:29 PM We don't know much about him so its hard not to give him side eye sometimes lol. Ultimately Klaus seems grateful for what the Beatles did for him and how he got to have a place in history thanks to them. I wouldn't necessarily label him negatively since he seems content with his lot and has gotten to make a lot of great art over the years. He likes his niche.

Otoh its still really weird that he's apparently still maintaining a delusion about being a potential Beatle. IMO it once again says more about his relationship with Paul than anything else. Paul is the bedrock of the band and without him, there are no Beatles. Lots of people resent him for this, even other Beatles. I would bet Klaus, like many, is pulled in by John's charisma, values George as a friend, and resents/resented the fact that he couldn't get closer to them because Paul filled that space. "If I was in his place then I could be with George and John all the time and we'd be even better friends. What's so special about Paul's bass playing anyway? I'm just as good." That's the kind of resentment that sticks with you when you have famous friends i guess.

But it also misses the point and the importance of Paul: Paul's bass playing was creative and innovative. He brought new sounds into the band. He also had the energy to get them over their creative humps to deliver material for new records and consistently hit their deadlines. Paul wasn't just "the bassplayer." He was John's everything, the one who delivered results, and the one who made the records work for the Beatles. If Klaus was really as good as he thinks he is then John would have made him a fixture during the solo years. But John didn't do that because Klaus is no match for Paul's ability to consistently deliver results.

I suspect Klaus knows this or he wouldn't admit to Paul's success like that. But its probably very hard to be close to the Beatles because you would naturally want a piece of it.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 12:32 PM

So many outsiders have described the bond they had before Hamburg, how Paul seemed to make John come alive etc; they already had a solid foundation. I don’t think anyone could’ve muscled in there permanently

An extremely vital point and probably the ultimate root of the resentment surrounding Paul during that time (or any other time). No matter what they did or where they took him, John still wanted to return to Paul.

There is something special and unique about Paul that had John loving him deeply and to the exclusion of others. Even back then.

mynamesbetty — 05/09/2023 2:00 PM I'd just like to add that re: drugs, Paul was wary of the Prellies and usually stuck to one a night, where John was eating them like candy Paul had already shown reticence towards drugs when he refused to partake of chewing the benzedrine cartridges inside nasal sprays back in Liverpool, so that's another aspect of the "Paul's not as cool and worldly as the rest of us" ganging up on him

Morrigan — 05/09/2023 3:04 PM And then that of course carried over to Paul not wanting to try acid at first

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 3:04 PM Yeah... so Paul was often on the outside that way too

Morrigan — 05/09/2023 3:07 PM I wonder if John saw that as Paul keeping a part of himself back; of not totally committing so they could share everything together

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 3:13 PM That's a big part of it. Tune In says John habitually used Prellies to try to get people to talk to him, he used it as a tool to get people to open up. So Paul dragging his heels and only doing it when he felt like it would be infuriating (and enchanting) to John because Paul was refusing to submit to John's direction and control. Paul could skate on the edges of John's gravity well and refused to get closer until he decided to.

It also may be that John was anxious about doing these things without Paul. He wanted Paul to mirror him very early and Paul's refusal to do so fascinated him especially for those moments where Paul did eventually cave and the mirroring turned out fantastic -- it made the victories sweeter. Pete Shotton said John needed a partner in everything he did, even when he was a little kid, so it was a genuine need in him to want someone like Paul.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 3:21 PM Makes me wonder how palpable John's attraction to Paul must have been -- even if he didn't fully realize it in Hamburg yet. I fully believe that there is some watershed moment we don't know about for John realizing how deep his attraction to Paul ran.

Morrigan — 05/09/2023 3:33 PM He said he chose Paul as his partner (in music), but we know it was so much more than that. At some point he realised, ‘this is the one’. If only he’d gotten to write his memoirs…. 😢

BRrraCKets! — 05/09/2023 4:00 PM I wonder if his attraction scared him a little and that’s why he backed right off in that first Hamburg trip.

He had plenty to distract him.

When Paul was deported, John was left behind. He could easily have stayed and pursued something there and kept near Stuart, but he didnt. He went back to Liverpool. Brooded on it for a while, then pursued Paul to get back with him.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 4:06 PM I never thought of the possibility of him staying behind with Stu but you're right! oh wow

BRrraCKets! — 05/09/2023 4:06 PM I think that’s when he decided Paul was it for him.

He could have looked at picking up his art again, like Stu did, or music in another band. His heart must have decided on music, but music meant Paul.

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 4:12 PM oh my god!!!! :sobface:

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 4:13 PM And also the trauma of Paul being deported... Klaus has a drawing of Paul and Pete being shoved into a cop car, I wonder if John was there if it happened like that with Paul and Pete being taken off the street

Like for John that's another loss but instead of Paul abandoning him that's someone taking Paul away from him

And so he goes home later that week.... and he stays shut up in his room for days... and when he emerges he gets George and goes straight to Paul.....

BRrraCKets! — 05/09/2023 4:15 PM He can’t do it without Paul.

Hahaha in a roundabout way, Paul made John choose between him and Stu, and Paul won!

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 4:17 PM After all that mess, John really did have a shot to choose Stuart and do art forever, hang out in Hamburg and never go back. Stuart evaded deportation by living in Astrid's house, John could do the same. But John played a few nights alone and then took all the gear back by himself

and then he chose Paul while he was convalescing in his bedroom....

Morrigan — 05/09/2023 5:10 PM I do think that was definitely part of it… but I don’t think it would’ve been that easy for him to stay had he wanted to… Stu was different because he’d already started establishing himself there outside of the band (and he had Astrid and her family, who couldn’t be expected to take on John as well).

John had no money. I believe he continued playing with other bands only to fulfil contractual obligations (?). And he said he was depressed after Hamburg, thinking this was maybe as far as music could take them… to seedy bars in a red light district. Coming back to Liverpool, I wonder what his thought process and state of relationship with Paul was like.

Now in 1961, when he again faces a crisis regarding continuing with music, he obviously chooses Paul…even without the music. Even though they were making decent-ish money in Liverpool by then, John was fed up and wanted to run away (at least for a bit).

I know people say he didn’t take Cyn to Paris because she was busy with school and unmarried couples didn’t really travel together, but I think it was more than that. He’d decided it was going to be him and Paul… in any potential endeavour, even if it wasn’t a band. That carries on through to their later ideas of writing a play, a musical together; and just always writing together

That said, I don’t think he actually wanted to stay in Hamburg

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 5:59 PM Yeah, John stayed in Hamburg for the contractual stuff. Considering its a port town it would have been easy for him to stay IMO but who knows. I think it does indicate that staying with Stuart didn't cross his mind; if it had and if John had really wanted it, he could have found a way. The fact that he didn't and instinctively went home (to the place where Paul had been forced to go) indicates just how strong Paul's hold on him was, despite John not knowing what he was going to do next.

The depression is just John's pattern I think. He had tall highs and deep lows. John coming back from Hamburg reminds me of reading descriptions of his return home from their tours and how inaccessible he was to Cynthia and Julian because of his profound depression. Hamburg was absolutely similar -- women, booze, pep pills to keep them awake and then it ended traumatically leaving John in a very bleak place. The physical low from coming off all those prellies would be crazy and John was addicted. He may have been going through detox which would destabilize his mental scape. The same thing happened with the tours and the amount of drugs they were doing, particularly the coke, which meant that John crashed after each tour because he stopped inhaling all those drugs.

We can only speculate about his thought process post-Hamburg but John repeated patterns, that was his entire thing. I think looking at the Dakota years could tell us a lot, albeit with the caveat that John hadn't done any "splitting" regarding Paul yet. He probably felt bleak, wondering if there was a point in continuing. He knew there was more pain ahead of him if he continued with the Beatles. John knew they were good and probably realized they were better than their peers but maybe he realized that he might have bungled things with Paul. He's watching the wheels.... Then he ran into George on the street iirc and that's when things solidified for him: he needed music and that meant he needed Paul.

So he takes George with him because he needs the support and doesn't want to appear vulnerable in front of someone he probably knows he wasn't kind to. And Paul holds him at arms length for a while but John is persistent and finally tells Paul that he's not going to settle for being half time anymore, Paul needs to commit to him.

When it comes to Paris and such: Paul, for John, represents renewal and possibility. He renewed after Hamburg in 1960 and sought out Paul for it. He renewed in 1961 and they went on their honeymoon in Paris. In 1980, John was preparing to record with Paul and was actively leaving Yoko.

John's mental aesthetic regarding Paul always contained admiration (and sometimes resentment) for Paul's endless energy and his ability to createcreatecreate. That's an energy that John relied on. He used it emotionally as well as musically.

mynamesbetty — 05/09/2023 7:57 PM and on the flip side we have John unfairly blaming Paul for John's inability to write by accusing Paul of bouncing along and writing like a fiend without thinking about how John was feeling, in the "I was going through murder" period

...and then, much later, John hears "Coming Up" on the radio and something long dormant sparks up inside him

VeggieRavioli — 05/09/2023 9:33 PM I'm soo late to this conversation but I love it! I wanna add my favourite Hamburg era tidbit that's hidden away in a footnote in Tune In, because I think it's really interesting to compare the aftermath of the 1960 first Hamburg trip with the 1961 Hamburg trip. TL;DR Paris was not the only time John and Paul ran away holidayed together in 1961

we all know John and Paul went to visit Betty and Mike in Caversham in April 1960, but Paul has stated multiple times that they took two trips to visit his cousin, the second one travelling down to Ryde on the Isle of Wight. But when did they take this trip? It's referenced in MYFN but no timeframe is given.

Mark Lewisohn proposes that the only obvious window is July 1961, directly after they arrived home from Hamburg - they had nine days off before they were back onstage in Liverpool on July 13. You'd think they would have spent this time kicking back at home after three months away, catching up w/ family and friends.......... but if that were the case, Lewisohn says, why didn't they attend Ringo's massive 21st birthday bash on July 8th?? All the biggest bands in Liverpool were invited, but the Beatles were conspicuously absent.

so if Lewisohn's hunch is correct and they swanned off to Ryde right after they just dragged their exhausted asses back from Hamburg, the implications of that are 👀 !!! bc that means Paul's behaviour towards John was sooo markedly different compared to the previous trip. Paul resigned himself to a shitty factory job in 1960, John had to win Paul back and prove himself to him, the band's future was in limbo..... but HERE, to me it's like 1961 Paul is staking his claim. By immediately taking John on a quick holiday to Ryde, he's actively preventing another post-Hamburg comedown and securing them some 1-on-1 time to re-cement their partnership

especially considering that Paul's tension with Stuart was arguably at an all-time high in 1961 -- they had their fight near the end of that trip, Dot and Cynthia came to visit but John & Cyn actually spent more time with Astrid & Stuart than with Paul..... I can just so see Paul being like :paulbuthehasagun: oh you like the beach John? you went to the beach with stuart? Come to this picturesque coastal town with me right the fuck now you're gonna love it

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 9:46 PM Veggie I love this connection. you're brilliant

mynamesbetty — 05/09/2023 9:47 PM get your man Paul!!

interesting that Paul made the first move here

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 9:48 PM

so if Lewisohn's hunch is correct and they swanned off to Ryde right after they just dragged their exhausted asses back from Hamburg, the implications of that are 👀 !!! bc that means Paul's behaviour towards John was sooo markedly different compared to the previous trip.

feral for this

YES.... after all that fuss in Hamburg they came back and Paul pushed John up against a wall and said "you're coming with me now" and john just went "o-okay"

Paul resigned himself to a shitty factory job in 1960, John had to win Paul back and prove himself to him, the band's future was in limbo..... but HERE, to me it's like 1961 Paul is staking his claim. By immediately taking John on a quick holiday to Ryde, he's actively preventing another post-Hamburg comedown and securing them some 1-on-1 time to re-cement their partnership

yes!!! he learned from 1960, he didn't give John a chance to get down in the dumps! he said "let's go on an adventure John!" and he just took him reminding John that this isn't like last time. in short Paul broke the pattern

I can just so see Paul being like :paulbuthehasagun: oh you like the beach John? you went to the beach with stuart? Come to this picturesque coastal town with me right the fuck now you're gonna love it

the jealousy angle at work here. oh my god

mynamesbetty — 05/09/2023 9:51 PM as long as they keep moving John can't sink into a funk which may have further implications re: Paul's work ethic

VeggieRavioli — 05/09/2023 9:51 PM aieeee I'm obsessed w/ it

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 9:51 PM Veggie you're a genius

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 9:52 PM john's in a depression? let's do something and distract him from it... 1960? on the rocks, worry and frustration. 1961? "dis mine dis MINE"

VeggieRavioli — 05/09/2023 9:54 PM while they seemed to make a lot of progress in Hamburg RE: trading up to better and better clubs, it really stood out to me in Tune In that after their 2nd trip they just returned to the same old in Liverpool, again - same circuit of halls and clubs, no one on their level, no upward momentum until Brian in November. So I love how John and Paul dealt with this by repeatedly skipping out on commitments when they got bored and goin on trips together

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 9:54 PM yeah! they decided it wasn't worth their time so they bolted

and they were right too lmao

they wanted to be together instead of playing the same circuit over and over...

VeggieRavioli — 05/09/2023 9:56 PM and then Stuart's writing letters like "they quit the band and went to Paris to play together? I don't believe it..."

Paul's like "you'd bETTER BELIEVE IT BUDDY"

Morrigan — 05/09/2023 9:58 PM Wasn’t it said that Ticket to Ride was inspired by Ryde?

VeggieRavioli — 05/09/2023 9:59 PM yes fs, I think Paul restates this in The Lyrics again too? don't have it in front of me, but yes

VeggieRavioli — 05/09/2023 9:58 PM Oh I thought we’d shared that quote here already but no it’s legit

Leggy「little love of mine」 — 05/09/2023 10:00 PM this is the possessive Paul we need

mynamesbetty — 05/09/2023 10:10 PM Paul stomps in like "he's my soulmate, get your own!" and whisks John off on a road trip

Apple_Scruff — 05/09/2023 10:11 PM Stuart literally having his own soulmate Astrid the whole time: confused

Morrigan — 05/09/2023 10:44 PM People have to had seen the special connection between them…John wasn’t going on trips to Ryde or Paris or Caversham with just George

louiselux — 05/10/2023 3:25 AM So fascinating and such great detective work! I wonder too if Paul thought he might be detoxing John, or whether they both had that in mind? Sun, sea, fresh air, no amphetamines etc, just wholesome British beer lol.

louiselux — 05/10/2023 7:06 AM There's just something so innocent about Paul taking him on a seaside holiday, compared to what they had just been doing in Hamburg, it's so sweetly unsophisticated.

I've been to Ryde. The whole of the Isle of Wight, where Ryde is the main town, is just off mainland UK and it feels stuck about 30 years in the past, so Ryde in the early 60s might've felt very old fashioned indeed.

[bitegore]

How’d you get into transformers? : 0

ages ago I was dating a Brandon Sanderson fan who introduced me to Brandon Sanderson's works, primarily the "Cosmere" - his connected universe of fantasy worlds operating on different rules using the same underlying theory. I thought this was fucking awesome and started hanging around Cosmere fandom spaces. One such space was a discord server - good place to hang, but it's been ages and I don't care very much any more so I haven't been in it since like maybe 2019 at the latest - wherein we had several entrenched members of the core discord group who talked a lot and also an off-topic channel. In the off-topic channel, those of us in the server reading other things would talk about those other things we were reading!

One of those other things was Transformers: More than Meets the Eye.

Now, I am a simple man. You look at me and you know what I like... and my tastes really have not changed since I was like, fifteen. I like ridiculous, gory, over-the-top violence, charismatic villains, murder, sarcasm, and also violence. And I was, of course, known for this, because I never shut the fuck up. If I enjoy something everyone's going to hear about it.

So a lovely member of the server begins reading MTMTE and starts talking about it in the off-topic channel - first occasionally, and then more and more often, until it's basically a daily occasion that they were beginning their daily Transformers comic reading period and they were gonna talk about it (but vaguely, in the 'livereading into channel' way). And not long into this, another member of the server, who I was a bit closer with, also started reading it! And really enjoying it!

Both of them after like five minutes were like "Hey Red YOU should also read this comic" and I, armed with the vague memories of the Bayverse movies and nothing else, went "I know what the Transformers comics are. I don't care about punch-em-up action sequences. I don't care and nothing will make me" (lol).

They informed me there is canonical gay romance. I, sick to fucking death of my IRL peers saying the same about, like, Sherlock, and at absolute best that one guy from the early seasons of Doctor Who, assumed they meant there were one-off joke characters. I was unmoved and really not compelled by the depth of character and plotline they were trying to convey to me, since they failed miserably.

They informed me it was character-driven. I don't really care about character-driven stories. I was unmoved.

They told me about certain bits and the plot of them, and I can't really remember which ones they were now but I remember going "well that's stupid" in my head, and saying I still didn't think they were for me.

Finally one member posts a screenshot of the page where Pharma splits Ambulon in half. You know, that gorgeous "lengthways!" splash panel.

I started reading Megatron: Origins about two minutes later. The rest is history.

[rolansrighthorn]

About Me📌

Want to join a BG3 discord? Join here! 18+ ONLY! (300+ users strong as of 02/08/2024! Link also updated!) Click here to join a BG3 Fanart and Fanfic server!

Like my writing? Help support me at my Ko-Fi here!

Click here to check out Durge x Gale clips I upload.

Click here to check out my Cameo video I requested from Mr. Taylor asking about Rolan's love language, ideal date, and pet names!

My Writings:

Click here to read "A Second Chance at Love", my Penelope (Tav) x Rolan chapters (3 parts)(NSFW)(FINISHED)

Click here to read "Only Together, With You", my Daryna (OC) x Rolan chapters (long fic, approximated to have 20 chapters when finished.)(NSFW)(ON-GOING)

Click here to read "Love Language", my Lotte (OC) x Rolan chapters (angst, fluff)(1/3 parts published)(SFW)(FINISHED)

Check out my Rolan headcanons here.

Check out my Dammon headcanons here.

Check out my Zevlor headcanons here.

Check out my tiefling headcanons here.

My et cetera:

Click here to view all of my own posts.

Click here to view my (slightly active) twitter.

Click here to view my Carrd (basically same info as here).

Welcome to yet another one of my sideblogs.

Basics: Cal| '94| MN,USA|

I follow/like from my main, felixschokehold. I have another sideblog for books, which is threshholdofescape.

But, you’re here to see which games I play, since it is indeed the theme of this blog. 

The Last of Us Remastered/Part 1

The Last of Us Part 2

Baldur’s Gate 3

Skyrim

Elder Scrolls Online

Red Dead Redemption 2

Detroit: Become Human

For more information, click to see!

I have played the TLOU series multiple times and replay them frequently. My favorite characters are Joel Miller and Abby Anderson. 

I have not finished Baldur’s Gate 3. I have done a slightly evil gen tav (Skotadi) playthrough romancing Astarion, which got to Act III. However, Act III is quite wonky and I was really frothing at the mouth to do a good gen tav (Elise) x Gale romance playthrough, which I have started and am currently in Act II (as of Oct. 21, 2023). Gale is my favorite, and I will delve deeper into my BG3 beginnings in a seperate post at... some point in time.

Skyrim and Elder Scrolls Online are more casual for me. I have not been on ESO in a couple years, but if I find a group maybe I’ll hop back on! In both, I play a high elf mage. I have never married anyone, I am always content to have a happy, platonic love with Serana.

I have played RDR2 only once. I did a “good” playthrough and the story destroyed my soul in such a severe way that I have not been able to do another playthrough several years later. I love the game, I love the story, and I do plan to do another playthrough one day. My favorite characters are Arthur and Sean.

I have played Detroit: Become Human a couple times, but have tended to stick with the "good" choices. I would like to do a "bad" playthrough, but we will see! My favorite character is Connor, and everyone else is on the back burner.

This post will be edited and adjusted as time goes on. Thanks for dropping by!

[sunshine304]

I love the work you did on Kaleidoscope, but I see you don't do commission work. Do you recommend anyone who does?

Thank you so much for your kind words! ♥

I don't have all that much time and also am quite slow with fanbinding, so I currently don't want to offer any commissions. I'd definitely encourage you to try and bind your own books - it's actually quite easy to improvise a lot of the materials and see if it's something you might enjoy. :D But I understand that it can seem very intimidating and might not be for everyone.

You can always check out @renegadeguild here on tumblr, they're a loosely connected group of experienced fanbinders. If you want to give fanbinding a try yourself, they're definitely a great group to ask for help and guidance - they're on Discord and always happy about new people trying out this craft. Several of them also do commissions.

Link to their members page:

I remember that Narenta Bindery does commissions, and on occasion, Fandom Underground as well. The members who offer commissions will have a statement about it on one/several of their socials, so you'd have to check the list and see who else might currently be open for commissions.

I hope this helps!

[mvthr]

PSA (kinda?)

It is with great misfortune that I have to write this up today, but I feel like if I don’t do this now I will chicken out (lol). Thanks so much to all of the people who responded to my poll and have shown me so much love and support thus far. It’s thanks to you that I’ve been brave enough to post this. 💜

I’ve never had to do anything like this before so I apologize ahead of time if it’s a mess (and for typos lol). Moreover, part of me knows that I will upset a few people with this rant, but I don’t have much to lose at this point seeing as my character as a person is already being threatened. Mind you I was never going to name drop but seeing as the people in question are expecting some sort of war now I’m not sure what else to do. I think the only adult way to go about any sort of issue is to talk it out, but seeing as I wasn’t given much of an opportunity for that by the people in question I’m going to resort to this to detail my experience. 

I am going to both type out the discord ims I have as backing evidence and link screenshots for further context. 

Long story short, I’ve felt personally victimized by a discord mun/admin who currently goes by the alias of Beanie. Their bestie and fellow admin, who currently goes by the alias of Al, is unfortunately partly to blame for being willfully blind to her actions and thus encouraging them. In their eyes, I’m being petty for “an admin not wanting to write with me” but in reality I’m finally trying to voice my concerns and point out ongoing actions that straight up aren’t okay. It’s just a shame that I couldn’t properly do so directly now that I finally mustered up the courage. 

There is a lot to tell with regards to this story but I’m going to focus on the most recent event as to not rant on and on or bore anyone. Basically I was ostracized and somewhat gaslit by Beanie while in the discord rp Unyhq, which was founded by Al. It all started Friday night when I realized that I couldn’t react to any of her posts. I refreshed discord several times and even switched devices thinking it was an app error. I had no issues with anyone else’s so I started to get a bad feeling about things. Mind you, I admittedly didn’t have the best rp experience with either muns prior (they also voiced being blacklisted and having psa’s out about them in a prior group I was in with them which I am mentally slapping myself for overlooking) and felt a bit intimidated by Beanie more often than not. It was my mistake to take this laying down in the past and perhaps not being as direct as I should’ve been with those particular admins. That part I take full accountability for, as I should’ve focused less on wanting to please everyone and faced the inevitable confrontation. Nonetheless, I figured the unique plot and low key vibe could be worth giving everyone another shot. (Second chances are big thing for me.) 

To continue, I messaged another member of the group and asked them to try and react and saw they had no issues with it. After that, and a short chat, it was easy to deduce that I had been soft blocked. This came as a surprise to me seeing as I had seemingly ended on neutral terms with Beanie and had a brief convo with her months prior where she assured there was no bad blood (also featured in the screenshots). I tried to message Beanie personally about the situation and see why she would block me out of the blue but clearly couldn’t since she...well...had me blocked. I didn’t want to drag anyone else into whatever was happening so I optimistically started a plotting thread for us in the group server thinking that perhaps it was an accident. That’s when I received a message from Al hours later stating that Beanie did have me blocked and leading to the following back and forth: 

AL: “hi b, just shooting you a little dm letting you know that beanie does in fact have you blocked and is not comfortable with interacting with you one on one. i’m not privy to all the details and while i like writing with both of you and want both of you in the server, im not going to force anyone to interact with someone they’re not fully comfortable with. to ensure that everything remains comfortable, im going to be deleting your message to her in the plotting channel. hope you understand”

ME: “hi there! I’m not sure why i was blocked when i never did anything to her?? i would appreciate it if she maybe just let me know what happened in private instead of this but idk?? it makes me feel really anxious that an admin won’t even give me the time of day without reason

When she unfriended me i asked if everything was okay and she said yes (which i can share if necessary) so for her to block me out of the blue afterwards makes me feel really bad

to be honest we never really interacted much so idk what reason there would be to just shut me out without explanation 😭

like i would never want to make anyone uncomfortable or anything like that but i do feel like i deserve an explanation rather than just being ostracized seeing as it’s a group?? but yeah idk I’m just feeling really sad and anxious now”

AL: “i understand and i'm sorry that it's making you anxious. beanie is most likely asleep right now but i will talk to her when i wake up and see if she'd be willing to have a conversation with you and talk it out.

just straight up from my point of view though, and i don't mean to say this to point fingers and accuse anyone but just to help make sense of it all, the way that you and [redacted] reacted in the society about rune and cade having a baby was uncomfortable and straight up felt passive aggressive at points ?? and you guys left right after that and not long after rpsense was sent an ask about us <https://rpsense.tumblr.com/post/713226551533223936/how-about-that-connecticut-mystery-discord-rpg> particularly singling out rucade which is :/

i want to stress that i'm not pointing fingers and i hold no ill will towards either you or [redacted], but i hope that helps you understand why beanie's a little bit apprehensive about it all. still, i will talk to her and see if she would be willing to talk.”

**Let’s pause for a second to point out how she says my reaction (which was nothing but surprise seeing as Beanie didn’t seem on board with pregnancy plots when myself and another mun planned to do it for our characters) was passive aggressive while also trying to implicate myself and another mun over a drama blog comment anonymously made about them? I’m sorry that was very much accusatory and uncalled for. If I really had it out for them like they want to believe I would’ve just made a post on my main blog from the get go, and that’s something anyone who truly knows me can back up. But I guess it’s just easier to paint me as a villain than maybe admit they too are flawed. Anywho let’s continue:**

ME: “I understand where you guys are coming from but prior to the rp i didn’t even know what rpsense was and stated so (i don’t think i ever got clarification which is why i assumed it had something to do with jcink or Twitter rp) thus for there to even be an assumption it was me or even pointed in my direction is wild to me lmao. like at 25 years old i can assure you that i have better things to do than to send random messages on anon to a blog i didn’t even know existed until then

there were def some things that made me (and from what others voiced to be) uncomfortable with the big focus on that ship but seeing as you guys were admins i kinda felt it was inevitable. it did for a hot minute feel like idk thunder stealing but overall i left due the issues i had muse wise with benji after the death thing

i just really struggled to recover from that due to having dealt with something similar irl at around the same time. It became so triggering to the point i decided to leave for my own mental health. with regards to [redacted], i messaged her prior to leaving and from my understanding she left due to feeling overworked [redacted]

but yeah i kinda wish beanie would’ve just come to me about it instead of blocking me. like i would’ve (and still am) happy to discuss whatever assumptions or apprehensions she’s had in place of a situation like this. i mean i don’t see why someone who supposed talked shit about y’all, would wanna stay in a group with you guys and try so hard to be peaceful instead of just blocking and moving on but that is just my two sense on the topic.

i don’t think we were the only ones who eventually left nor were taken aback by some of those things you mentioned but yeah all i can say that it wasn’t me and i don’t think [redacted] would waste her time with that either. i swear that’s not me shading others but yeah it’s just still a shock to me that assumption was made?? but i guess i could see why from her POV it would be easier to push the blame on me timing wise lmao”

ME (after several hours of no reply despite activity in the group server): “hi there!! sorry to spam but i wanted to know if there was still gonna be a follow up on this?? i would ask Beanie myself but still have not way to contact her and don’t wanna bring someone else into the mix. I just feel really sad because i fee l like I’ve been incriminatd over something that has nothing to do with me. like i apologize if i ever gave anyone any reason to dislike me but it kinda feel like anger towards some random person or comment is being projected onto me without any validity? or than maybe there is just a reach to make me feel excluded?? idk I’ve just being feeling really uncomfortable and semi attacked since yesterday when all i wanted was to get along with everyone in a rp i was excited about.”

AL:“hi b, i'm still having a conversation with beanie about it (i just woke up like an hour ago 😭 ) and i'll update you asap!!”

ME: “no worries!! thanks for the update. i just hate the situation overall and let my anxiety get me. thus i forgot about timezones 😭”

AL: “hi b, beanie has communicated w me that she is not comfortable unblocking you or talking to you and i'm not going to make her do so. those are her boundaries and i respect them. she has also said that the anon didn't really influence her decision -- the main thing beanie is uncomfortable with is when you two were threading with benji and rune and benji implied that rune trying going to take advantage of him. while i understand this was most likely an in-character choice and an exploration of grief, from my understanding it was not discussed beforehand and made beanie uncomfortable. 

while it would be ideal for her to approach you herself and have a one on one conversation and clear things up, it is something she isn't currently comfortable with and i'm not particularly comfortable enforcing. i would love for everyone in a group to get along and write with each other, but realistically it's just not possible and i don't expect it to be.  beanie is one member out of many.”

**Let’s do another pause here. For reference Rune was Beanie’s muse and Benji was mine. While in societyfm I was blindsided by the ic death of a character related to Benji. During that time, I was grieving a similar situation and was very much triggered. However, seeing as the ball was already rolling and everyone ate up the plot I felt obligated to play along or otherwise be painted as a party pooper. While I was perhaps not as direct about my discomfort as I should’ve been (I was grieving and kinda expected a similar situation to this occurring if I confronted the main mun about it let alone Beanie), I did however mention/demonstrate being uncomfortable with the overall topic and its impact on my muse (even reaching out to the other admins/members at the time) but that’s a story for another day. Back to the thread she mentioned, we plotted (vaguely) to have Rune stumble upon a heavily inebriated and grieving Benji to somehow have them make amends. From my memory, Rune pulls him up and close to her from the ground and mentions taking him home to her residence instead of his own, to which he replied “are you trying to take advantage of me?” Let’s keep in mind this was a joke and the thread was left without response from there. I also interacted with Beanie ooc multiple times to not a single complaint about this or anything in my field. Now I definitely see how that could be taken out of context and perhaps was distasteful on my part and apologize for it. However the fact that it only became an issue all these months later is what seemed odd.**

ME: “yeah that’s a random thing to me because it was never brought up at all until now and idk timing wise it feels a little sus?? at this rate it really looks like she’s just looking for any reason to not have to talk to me and it’s very disheartening coming from an admin. if we are being real there a few things she had done as well that rubbed me the wrong way a bit but i didn’t take it as far as blocking her after making amends or trying to make me look bad by associating me with some random blog i have nothing to do with. but yeah if you don’t want to mediate this and she’s not willing to communicate in and adult manner then idk what else to do lmao. like I’m being punished for something petty and not even being given a chance to defend myself or improve which is incredibly messed up. I mean i legit had and irl traumatic trigger turned into the main plot of the last group but I’m not going as far as this 😭

it honestly wouldn’t have bothered me as much if she was just any other member but this kind of thing coming from an admin is extremely disheartening. especially when it’s a public group?? like what’s the point of even being in a group with me if she’s just going to act like i don’t exist over things that are beyond my knowledge?? idk i am just getting a weird vibe that i don’t think is fair to me or my actions. so yeah idk what to do at this point since she’s clearly made up her mind about excluding me and finding *reasons* to do so

refusing to coexist with someone and going out of your way to do so as an admin in a public group is just really saddening. despite it all i would’ve never done something like that to her and just want her to know that. but yeah at this rate it feels like my experience in a group is being tarnished by things that are beyond me and it’s very unfortunate. at this rate i can just leave because it’s not worth the stress and i am not going to stick around where someone claims i make them uncomfortable. 🙃

okay this is the last message i promise lol. but i already left the server so you guys can have peace of mind. that’s not to say I think any of this is fair in any way shape or form as adults, but i don’t think it’s worth the stress and i won’t stick around when someone clearly doesn’t want me around. however i will say that i don't understand how beanie or anyone is feeling uncomfortable with something being *said* about or to her character without prior discussion when benji had a whole sibling killed off, in part to her insistence, and no one gave me a heads up lol. in fact, everyone at it up at my expense and yet she can get away with acting this way to me?? that’s not right al. the policing of my reactions about how they were being treated because i didn't treat her muse *the right way* is **not** okay. but yeah i digress. nevertheless, best of luck to y’all. it’s a shame i couldn’t be a part of it again but maybe that’s for the best 🤷🏽‍♀️”

AL: “frankly, b, i was going to leave this message unanswered because i feel as if though this conversation is just going around in circles. if she made you uncomfortable or rubbed you the wrong way, then you would be well within your rights to block her as well. i would not have forced you to interact with her if you had done so. if you had come to me with your issues privately, i would've been happy to step in and help resolve them. 

your messages are needlessly aggressive towards beanie in this situation. people are allowed not to like you or interact with you -- even if said person is an admin. she has not, from my pov, refused to coexist with you: she has merely refused to interact with you one on one or plot with you. her reasons for being uncomfortable with you have been kept private and only shared with me because i asked. she has not purposefully gone out of her way to be rude or hostile to you either ic or ooc: she simply does not wish to interact with you, so she has blocked you. if you had stayed in the rp, both me and lucky would be available to you in an admin capacity and you would have a plethora of other members willing to interact with you.

as for your point about the society: i am truly sorry that happened and it is a failing of mine as an admin. i had (wrongly) assumed that m would have communicated her plans with you, as that is something that is expected of grown writers in a closed group settings. in hindsight, i should have checked in with you and i am sorry that i didn't. you did not vocalise your discomfort at the start of the plotdrop, and when you did i went the extra mile to incorporate a time skip for your comfort. i also don't know why this is being brought up with regards to beanie? beanie was not an admin at the time of the plotdrop (so she had no input in it) nor was she the only one excited for it.”

***End***

That’s where it all wraps up because just like Beanie, Al didn’t even give me a chance to speak up or say my peace before blocking me (let’s note that i had already left the group by then and said my goodbyes/explained why I was leaving to members i had either active plots or threads with. the narrative they are spinning that it was at random or to get a reaction out of new members is frankly untrue.) I get that I could’ve maybe been a bit more passive towards the end but I do think it’s valid seeing as my feelings and the moral of my message was never validated. Al was quick to defend Beanie and let her say, do, or believe anything she wanted with regards to me but when I said my side and tried to defend myself I was “needlessly aggressive” towards a toxic individual that should’ve been held accountable for their actions and set a better example as an admin. I hate to break it, but refusing to communicate with someone IS refusing to coexist with them and I will not be convinced of otherwise, nor will I allow myself to be stomped over and gaslit for defending myself/calling out inappropriate actions. 

That’s all I’m going to say about this for now as it’s really just to get my side known instead of what’s being inferred without context or my explanation. I don’t expect a fair fight in this nor am I trying to cancel anyone. All I wish is for those involved to be held accountable for their own wrongdoings as I am holding myself accountable for my own. We’re all human and in the year 2023 we should be doing our best to grow and become better people. I’m going to take this as a learning experience and hope everyone else does too. 💜

>p.s. I have been made aware of the discrepancies and pointed accusations in Al’s response and I am not going to entertain it. They are welcome to come to their own defense however they wish and I cannot/will not deny them of that. However, I will say that the additional pieces of *evidence* they have brought forwards are very much out of context. The fact they never posted the full extent of those messages, omitted their past with similar psa’s/callouts/situations, didn’t mention how seemingly intimidating said admin was/is, how they encouraged bubble rping, insist they did me a favor by blindly throwing me into an uncomfortable situation, lied about how I went about saying my goodbyes after leaving the group and why, had their friends send me hate BEFORE I made anything public, continue to bash me in their defense despite asking me to leave the topic and them alone publicly, etc, is very telling. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[cloudninetonine]

*awkwardly walks in, waves, downs coffee like a shot, leaves without elaborating after dropping a note*

Hey, nothing too big this time as I've had a rough week and I'm currently dogsitting a dog that ain't mine so my brain power is more or less incoherent and shot, just passing on by to wish you a Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and to thank you for all your work in the fandom!

First of all, I've only know of Mess Au existing for like an hour and a half but I already adore the life out of it, Rip Player and their sanity due to the Evil Chain running around but I am thriving on their content with the Ganons. And, there's a discord? *Confused guitar sounds from a Musician*

Also I'd die for Pastuzo, just saying, if dangerous wild animal then why friend and hug shaped? I've only know him for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I'd murder everyone in the Yigah Clan and then myself, Player is lucky if it was me there with Nat I'd immediately pat, bless that guy (also Rip Nature and his food, I hope he knows that my version of Fia/Seraph is cackling at his misery, just straight up rolling on the floor), and the entire section with Eve? Perfection, outstanding, showstopping, honestly given I'm a reader myself I'd probably chill with him, and I hope Player gets to introduce books from their world to him because something tells me he'd love a wider selection, I am thriving so much with this thank you for the food of Ganon-Player Found Family. *Bows* Also, I kind of want the Ganons to meet Og Chain now, it would be funny.

Also, Player's Aid Au where everything is the same but the reason why Legend dislikes Players is that the only time he remembers with his Guide is in Koholint so that's why he's so Claude Frollo when it comes to them, the trauma is making him suspicious. Or alternatively, where Player is actually a Witch but like A Wadanohara Sea Witch rather than the standard type, like instead of a broom they have a staff with an anchor at the end they use to fight and fly (as well as several other anchors and fish hooks on their design), an Ocarina for healing spells, some control over water and basically does what the Links do but with a twist: protects the ocean and people's dreams, no one in the Chain would ever have a nightmare while they're around, bonus points if we give them a seagull familiar that can turn human, or that it's just straight up Marin, or if because Mipha is a Zora and Zora are sea creatures if they make her a familiar she can also join the Chain or heck even Nayru idk haven't thought that far ahead.

Legend: They're a Witch!

Sea Witch Player, feeding seagulls with Aryll: ... Yes? I did go to witch school in the witch world, and? Do you want to see my certificate and PhD in witchcraft or something?

One thing for sure is that if Sea Witch ever saw the Wind Fish fhey just straight up roll up their sleeves, go "Hold my staff and anchor earrings Rulie/Wild/Wind/Nat/Grandpa Tides" and just try to fistfight it, no magic involved, that or they'd be yelling expletives at it with at least one Chain or Passel/Singular (a group of hogs/boars) member holding them back from fighting it, bonus points if they do the same for Dark Link if they went through the same trauma Wada did or have moon trauma like Time too.

... Now I'm thinking about how the Chain or Ganons would react to Indie games, hm... Eh, maybe in another ask, Tides and Time would mentally adopt Niko from One Shot, or any child protagonists so fast I can literally see it, Time would literally feel smacked by Hello Charlotte and Undertale, and Legend would have a love-hate thing for both Omori, Yume Nikki and Dreamfarer and Hyrule would get so much trauma from Mad Father, gotta think of any other ones for another ask.

Anyway, happy holidays and hope you're having a better existence than I am currently!

-A Very Awkward and Tired Summertime Musician.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS SUMMER!

Also I'm so glad you're enjoying the Mess au right now it's literally all i can think about! Yes, Pastuzo is the pride and joy on the whole au now.

Also we gotta love witches, especially Sea Witch Player and all I'm saying is sharks are pretty great so Player having two familiars and once is a shark (more importantly whale shark because I love them)

Tbh, Tide I feel is an Animal Crossing lover (I know it's not an indie game but still), he enjoys the calmer life.

Also, don't worry! They will be meeting the Chain real soon :)

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Hello Lost. I am sad: my fanfics do not receive comments and I am losing the will to write eruri. I know we write for ourselves and that is beautiful, but at the same time, it is nice to know what people think and if they are enjoying our fanfics. I do not want to ask people to leave more comments, it is their choice, but I wish I could find a way to encourage readers. I do not care if it is one comment or hundreds, just one opinion coming from someone’s heart will be enough to me. Do you have some kind of advice, please? Thank you,

Hello Anon, I’m so sorry you’re sad, but I do understand.  No matter how often I encourage people to write for themselves and to be proud of their own creativity, there’s no denying that it is disappointing when you pour your heart and soul into a piece of writing and it gets no reaction.  I feel that way myself sometimes, when I post a piece that I’m particularly fond of and it just gets crickets. It’s impossible not to feel a little despondent. 

Sadly you’re not the only one who's experiencing this.  I’ve seen several surveys about fandom engagement and it seems that comments are drying up right across the board. There are many reasons for this, but most of them boil down to the changing nature of fandom platforms and communities.  Twitter is a particularly bad platform for fandom engagement; it’s hard to build and sustain a community on such a public platform, it’s so fast moving that content disappears quickly and there’s a high probability that people will never see it, it’s hard to re-surface content after the timeline has moved on, and the click through rate is abysmal.  Also because AO3 is an archive, rather than a social media platform, it was never designed to sustain community on the platform.  Quite the opposite in fact, there was always an assumption that fandom communities would exist elsewhere, and that AO3 would archive the content created by those communities. 

There has also been increasing commodification of fandom creativity.  Some fans seem to approach fanfic with the same expectations as published fiction, without taking into account that all fanfiction is a voluntary labour of love, rather than the result of a commercial contractual agreement between author and publisher. This sometimes leads to a mismatch in expectations between readers and writers; writers hope for comments and feedback, while readers expect regular updates, and more often than not everyone ends up a little disappointed. 

There’s no easy way to solve these problems so it’s really important to remember that lack of engagement is absolutely no reflection on the quality of your writing.  I can’t stress this too often. 

There are things you can do though! One of which is to find your own fandom community.  In my experience fandom is *always* best experienced with a small group of like-minded weirdos who share your specific niche headcanons about your favourite characters.  Discord is a good space for small fandom communities, if you can gather together a small group of fandom friends, you can set up your own server with people who hopefully will be only too happy to comment on your writing.  There’s also an Eruri writing discord which I’ve heard great things about.  It sounds like a really creative and supportive space.  @RookSacrifice over on twitter is one of the mods and has passed on an invitation to the server for you. If you DM me, I’ll give it to you.  Also don’t ever be afraid to ask for feedback!  Try reaching out directly to other writers and readers.  If you hook up with another writer, you can even offer to exchange comments on your work.  Something else I’ve suggested in the past is getting involved in ship weeks and challenges.  That can be a great way to encourage fans to engage with your writing.  Though tbh there are so many ship weeks running these days that I have no idea what sort of engagement they get. Still worth a try though! 

I hope this helps Anon, please don’t feel too despondent. Eruri is such a fabulous ship with so much nuance to explore in Erwin and Levi’s characters and relationship, it would be such a shame if you stopped writing.  And please do DM me so I can pass on that Discord link.

[bettimbellis]

A Collage (of Yelling)

I saw someone do something like this to advertise their fic- they linked the fic, and then put in a little collage of various comment snippets. I can’t find the post to show off- someone please do let me know if you’ve seen that, I want to credit them. 

Either way, my Hollow Knight post-Black-Egg-Temple fic (linked here) has 209 comment threads on it. I’ve gone through and found some bits. These bits were mostly chosen for entertainment/intrigue value out of context- a lot of my favorite comments didn’t get in. 

Got some good reviews there, I think. Anyone wanna see the collection I have of Discord screenshots from folks yelling at me about this fic?  (Seriously though, thank all of y’all who comment, yell in the tags, whatever- I love it. Really helps keep the writing muse going, too.)

Image descriptions below the cut. 

[Image ID: a collection of bits of text placed on a light green background, in several groups. Text is as follows. 

Excuse me who gave you the right to hit me with this line at seven in the morning”, with an arrow pointing to the left. also it feels like there are many things to be concerned about lmao  God, Hollow is such a poor baby. A lanky wet cat left in the rain. Hollow, that feeling is love, dear, no need to feel so confused about it. Hornet, my sad dumb little spider baby, go to bed. in summary holy shit this is fucked sounds like stressTM can these characters stop being so relatable good Lird *smacks my face* Hornet. Hornet. the fuck HOLY FUCKING SHIT [all caps] It was so soft!!!! And then it became *so goddamn angsty-* *squints harder*  Wet rag is my new favorite character. *thunks my head on a wall* Gosh darn it Oro course you had to have integrity But also OW MY HEART?! SHATTERED?1 POOR BABY HOLLOW IM GONNA CRY Gosh dang. The last chapter was a little lighter, but apparently you were just holding back for this one.  (Chp. 3) I stg this whole chapter made my emotions whip back and forth between “awww :)” and “awwh :(” and “oh. Oh no baby do not think like that”.  Augh. just, augh. / ...except that bit at the end. ...except that last sentence, ‘cause, yeah. / *hides face in hands* this has been exhausting for everyone, apparently. Hollow knight or: when you are so touch starved that your standards for touch that you want are somewhere in the abyss that has spawned you.  Whatever the FUCK happened in the last section is Oh Lord Oh God What The Heeeeeellll Ohhhh My Goood No Waaayyyy... Will be waiting for the next chapter STARING at ao3...

i was so relieved to read this that i accidentally put my phone in airplane mode trying to respond “it is startled out of its pleasant memory-” pLEASANT???? PLEASANT!?! Hollow no. HOLLOW NO- / why does this for some reason almost feel like fluff.  My urge to keysmash at you is strong Just. God. Everything about this is so fucked in so many ways.

Something about this line just makes me want to. Maybe stab the king in the chest. Repeatedly. And then throw them off a bridge. Idk Actually many things about this chapter make me want to stab the king in the chest repeatedly and then throw them off a bridge. Because *holy shit* Hollow, honey, you have so much trauma. OMG ghost, what have you done [stressed emoji] Okay then. Well. Um. That’s a lot to happen.  God it’s such a mess Ah yes, the eldritch nonsense trying to approximate a living creature, my beloved PK you ass. PK you absolute ASS get over here I wanna hit you with something heavy-  oh / im immediately punched in the face okay thank you for that Right off the bat I am mildly excited about this chapter solely because you played with text formatting and that makes my serotonin levels rise. I don’t know why but thank you for that.  CONFUSION SOUP I’M FHDHDJFKFKGH I wanna join the cuddle pile :<<< let me in [holding Hollow gently in both hands] / I will get you all the fresh-dirt-scented soap Fucking superb you funky little vessels. Oh boy! Spiraling!

Oh this chapter hurts ‘specially bad. Because it wasn’t enough to be possessed and neglected and quite literally tortured and driven insane, now we gotta have more medical issues and amnesia-  I fuckign cried at this one, oh my god. Pain is always a tearjerker, but it’s nothing compared to someone who’s been in pain so long finally getting that first big moment of *realizing they’re wanted* and *heard* and *healing*  And I gotta say, (this is gonna sound bad) I really do love Hollow’s victim blaming. Or how it’s written. I love how you write characters in pain <333 “Oh, just a quick chapter to read before bed,” I thought to myself. “I will enjoy it and feel a normal and manageable level of emotions about it.” / ...Thanks for making me all teary in the wee hours, now I’ll never get to sleep! (...I mean this as praise.) Oh. Oh Hollow. So wrapped up in the need to be useful. So incapable still of seeing that their own gut-wrenching familial love might be returned in kind, whether they have some designated purpose for their existence or not.  Yeah. Relieved. / Oh, Hollow... You have already left kudos here :) [three times] / Have I ever been told the definition of insanity?  honestly the body horror was the /least/ disturbing thing in this chapter. not to say! that it was not disturbing - even then, less the horror and more the. context. i want to punch TPK. into a lake. that is on fire.

First comment of my first reread, and MAN. This opening hits just as hard the second time.  Keep in mind Hollow Knight was made by Australian people Hollow 100% deserves a nice date at the palace if they so wish. anyway, I feel very emo about Hollow, all the time.  HOLLOW IS LETTING THEMSELVES HAVE WILL, LET’S GOOOOOO Ghost is doing Fine:tm:, Hornet is doing Fine:tm:, Hollow is *actually* doing pretty well Good news! Hollow is an emotional wreck!  Hornet is doing sooo normal right now (lying).

TLDR; amazing story, glorious update, poor Grimm, I Am Desperate For Shield Lore, someone please tell Ghost it isn’t their fault, the entire gaggle of siblings needs a group hug, I Am Going To Put The Pale King’s Corpse Through A Shredder, and Hornet needs another good cry. 

anyways fuck you for writing this keep it up

[adelle-ein]

it's dawning on me that being online when you have extreme morality ocd might not really be feasible and i don't know what i can do about that

i'm utterly terrified of people calling me/thinking i'm a zionist, to the point where i can't stand up for any antisemitism that i see from people, so i'm just letting everything slide and being the Good Jew but that ALSO kills me bc it's so distressing knowing that i'm friends or mutuals with people willing to say and share these things

throw in the usual tumblr social justice "kys if you don't reblog this screenshot of a tweet thread from a random bluecheck" and like. i feel like i'm constantly dying. i feel completely responsible for the actions of israel as a jew because people are constantly telling me that i am, i feel like a monster for caring about innocents everywhere, i'm terrified that everyone has the most radical "all [palestinians/israelis] must die For Peace" positions and that there's nobody i can trust

i can read really profound and good writing from people smarter than me and feel secure in my position again and then go on here and see people i truly love and care about reblogging about how oct 7 was a false flag or justified. go in a doll discord and see random teens with harry potter icons musing about how mattel and mga are being controlled by israel bc as we all know companies never support anything evil of their own volition unless (((they))) make them. twitter is unsalvageable due to the sheer number of nazis being rt'd onto my dash for saying vaguely pro-palestinian-appearing things. and several of my relatives are far-right zionists and even the ones that aren't i'm scared might secretly be. it's fucking everywhere. i'm trying to close it off and do limited exposures to it per the advice of my mental health team (ie actually go to news sites/journalists and read at certain times of day instead of being constantly randomly exposed to inflammatory stuff) but it's really inescapable

and the worst part is i know this is amplified by morality ocd but i think some of it is true. i think saying my piece to people i love would get me called a zionist pig by some and an antizionist traitor by others. i think people i respect and care about genuinely believe some really horrible things. some of them are just sharing stuff or siding with a team and not really thinking about any implications but how can i take that risk?

and yeah i'm probably an evil cunt for caring about myself when people are dying! probably! but the one reassurance, i guess, is that nobody can possibly hate me for it, or for anything, more than i hate myself. i'm screaming for help but nobody hears but that's not really anybody's fault bc i'm also covering my mouth, bc if people hear the screaming then they'll hate me. that's what i truly believe

i don't have a point i'm just struggling really really badly that's all. i've literally written 4k about various things and not shared it bc like, my voice isn't helpful or needed or necessary here. i'm not smart i'm not special i'm not a scholar on antisemitism or islamophobia or hate groups or zionism or antizionism or israel or palestine. this is just me crying because i don't know how to keep going and i truly believe that everyone in my life hates me. that's all. yes this is pathetic but i need to let things out just this tiny bit

(if you do hate me for this then please please just block and break off any communication we have now, i hate to think of anyone feeling trapped in a relationship with me)

[chiskz]

《 SKZ - REPLAY Album - CHICHI's Solo Song 》

》 "Discord" (jp. 不協和音 / fukyouwaon )

⇲ [ https://youtu.be/3A8ReZ_punE ]

lyrics by CHICHI

composed by CHICHI, Bang Chan (3RACHA), Yasushi Akimoto

arranged by Yasushi Akimoto, Bang Chan (3RACHA)

I have no reason to be afraid of discord

Even if I’m hated

I have my own sense of justice

Hit me if you want

Giving in would mean death

If you want to control me

You have to defeat me first!

Destroy the stereotypes with discord!

It’s strange for everyone to have the same opinions

Stick with your intentions!

If you bend now there’s no point in living

If you want to disappoint me

You have to kill me first!

》 Explanation - translated from Your Friendly Neighbour Chichi! [ep. 19.12.22] and Bubble messages [21.12.22]

"This song will surprise you for sure. I thought for a long time how I could surprise you and it turned out that something I wanted to try for a long time can actually be surprising. I will show you a completely different side of me, but it will still be Chichi. It's amazing how many different faces we can have, but they can all be real. People are really interesting."

"And how do you like the song? Are you surprised? I am very proud of it. I combined J-pop with my own message that guides my life. It was hard to be the only woman in a male group, but for several years I have been trying to fight stereotypes. Why do we have to be women or men when we can just be idols? Some people feel they belong to one of these groups and like to emphasize it. Of course, that's perfectly fine! I'm not saying it's bad. I am glad that you find yourself in it and comfort in it. It's wonderful. But for me, the most important thing is just to be a good person and show the best performances.

《Discord》 is a song about not giving in to stereotypes, about not giving up your ideas just because others don't follow you. 《Destroy the stereotypes with discord!》 This is the main thought. I hope I conveyed it well.

I had doubts about the language. I first started writing this song in Korean, but it didn't go as well as I wanted. I tried again in English, but it still wasn't it. I consulted Chan, I didn't want to write in Japanese so that my song wouldn't stand out from the rest. However, he said that we also have Japanese STAYs. He said that I should write in the language of my heart to properly convey what I feel. So I did, and my song is the only Japanese song on the album. I feel pride.

Thank you Chan for everything! I hope you will listen to 《Discord》 a lot and the rest of the songs from the album as well. We put our hearts into them. I love you STAY!

Ah, choreography? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ It is in the final stages of preparation. It is difficult, the most difficult is the perfect synchronization of the smooth movements of the hands and feet. But it is very effective! I wonder when I can show it to you... I don't know, but the choreography is there, don't be afraid! ㅋㅋㅋ"

[ladymoonveil]

Been venturing back into Reaper76 lately, and even though activity has died down a lot compared to when Overwatch was in its heyday, this is still probably my favourite pairing to sink my teeth into. 

The fandom is also a much nicer space to be in, especially since that annoying, vocal group of people who loved to villainize Jack Morrison based on the colour of his skin has stopped harassing and policing people after it was canonically revealed that:

1. Gabe was the more experienced leader during the Omnic Crisis, but Jack was the one who held the team together and brought out the best in the people around him.

2. Jack was ultimately chosen as Strike Commander because Gabrielle Adawe and the UN found him to be the more suitable candidate for rebuilding, especially since this is now a much more political role after the war has ended.  (Valkyrie short)

3. Unlike a lot of incorrect assumptions that were made, the promotion was not the main cause of the rift between the two characters.  Gabe was, in fact, a supportive friend and teammate who didn’t jump to bitterness over this.  If anything, it was Jack giving Gabe too much leeway and defending his sometimes questionable actions in the years that followed which resulted in his downfall.

There was a year or so that felt like stepping into a minefield where Reaper76 works were written by people who actively hated half the ship, and the sole reason for one character’s existence is to grovel for forgiveness.  It’s character bashing but tagged as the main pairing.  (Something similar happened to MCU!Stony, which is why I’m mainly into comics!Stony now.)  Some of the excuses I saw trying to justify Reaper working for Talon, a literal terrorist organization behind horrifying acts (and not a double agent either), was mind boggling.  It’s made worse because they don’t judge Jack by the same standards, and actively went out of their way to paint him as some useless white guy who barely contributed to the war effort and “stole” the promotion.      

I remember some of my favourite creators being harassed and bullied to the point that they straight up deleted their stories and left the ship.  The “moral high ground” fandom police held up their own headcanons as the be-all end-all for everyone (because I guess they never learned the basic fandom etiquette of “Your Headcanon Is Not Canon”), and if you disagreed with them you were called a bunch of names and had to deal with some truly terrible BS.  

It’s such a disservice to Gabe and Jack too, because they’re complex characters whose relationship got reduced to one of jealousy and hatred, and the things that each of them were allowed to explore ended up being severely limited in fear of pissing off said fandom police. 

Luckily this isn’t really the case anymore, and with a bit of digging you can find many fics that aren’t one-sided.  My favourites have always been the ones that allowed them to explore their own shades of grey. 

After many years of being in various fandom spaces, I feel like I’m generally not as interested in participating anymore unless I know that the source material is aimed at a mature audience, or the people I am interacting with will behave like adults.  Some positive examples of this would be:

1. Hannigram, where the fandom has pretty effectively shut down policing (because seriously are you going to try and police the “murder husbands” ship that contains a cannibal serial killer?)

2. A lovely Taiwanese Top Gun discord server where everyone is very well versed in their fandom etiquette of “Ship and Let Ship”, “I Am Responsible For My Own Content Consumption”, and the aforementioned “Your Headcanon is Not Canon”. 

Things like this really make such a big difference towards having a good time, instead of dealing with all sorts of fandom wank.

[aidansplaguewind]

Hi. I am a fan of your blog. Loving all stuff about Aidan Gillen especially those GIFs you make. Just want to ask if there are other active tumblr accounts dedicated to Aidan?

This ask made me so sad because honestly, there are very few that post exclusively Aidan or mostly Aidan content.

@mrs-pennylane posts some Aidan and she has a directory of loads of his works. She doesn't get on Tumblr as much anymore but she gets on from time to time and runs the Aidan discord server.

@mrsaidangillen is another that posts Aidan content and she has an Aidan Facebook group as well.

Several years ago there were quite a few Aidan blogs that were active and many of them made gifs but I think I'm the only one left now that is exclusively Aidan content, new content, and gif maker. That's kind of why I started making so many gifs, because there was no one on here making Aidan content anymore.

It sucks and I don't understand it. It's not like he stopped being gorgeous. It's not like he stopped working, he's always working on something. I truly do not understand why he doesn't have more fans than he does. It BAFFLES me. Aidan posts used to get hundreds of notes, now I'm lucky to hit 40. And it's not the notes I care about, it's the fact that people aren't interested in him. I see some ugly ass motherfuckers with WAY more active fandoms than his and I cannot wrap my head around it. And yes, I understand those who are ugly to me are beautiful to someone, but you'd think if the ugly odd-looking fellows have millions of fans, then the really good-looking chap would have double that. That's just normally how it goes.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a small fandom. Big fandoms are a hot mess. But when they get too small, you stop getting information, you stop getting pictures. You stop getting gifs, and art, and fics.

I've been on Tumblr for 10 years and I've been an Aidan-only blog for 8 of those years and I don't plan on going anywhere. When everyone is gone, I guess I'll still be here carrying the torch.

[mineonmain]

Have you seen the GMMTV 2023 trailers? Any you like? I am so ready for ‘only friends’

oh MAN have i see the trailers?? I've seen i'd like to say a good majority of them, although i don't actually know how many there are lmaoo. i've been doing nothing all day except spamming the discord with links and screaming about the upcoming shows. so let me just list out the trailers i've seen, and then i'll just say in a line or so what I think:

Midnight Museum - it's giving Night at the Museum meets Hotel del Luna, and that's all I have to say about it. Not my cup of tea, probably won't watch it, Gun stans go ham

Double Savage - YES. YES. YEEEEEEEEES. Besties Perth and Ohm are in a series together as brothers, and there's the age old conflict of family vs moral civic duty, heart vs mind, and I wouldn't trust anyone else to carry it out. Ohm and Perth are probably some of my favourite actors, and it's such an incredible way for them to flex their acting chops, also knowing they're friends and could trust each other when acting with one another. LETS GOOOOOOO

A Boss and A Babe (BL)- what is this title. What in the wattpad, Office AU, boss-and-secretary-but-Make-It-Gay headass is this. I'm not a ForceBook person anyways, so I will not be watching this cheese cringefest, as long as they're enjoying themselves. it's a no from me dawg

Enigma - this is for all the horror/psychological thriller girlies out there. I won't be watching this bc i'm not good with horror, but i'm excited to see Win in a role unlike any he's played before, full of enigmatic (hehe) charm.

Last Twilight (BL) - It's giving that Me Before You, Bucket List before going blind, fault in our stars energy, honestly I'm pretty ambivalent about it. JimmySea are cute together tho

Wednesday Club - messy messy messy. a group of friends who don't like each other and all full of *secrets* because it's cool to not be a nice person i guess. everyone needs therapy.

Dangerous Romance (BL) - gotta say i'm surprised by this, i have a love-hate relationship with this one. don't like that it's set in highschool, wasn't expecting perth to be in another BL, wasn't actually expecting it to be with chimon despite the rumors. however, Perth is so good at this, he and Chimon are such good friends, I might just give it a shot. As much as I love Perth, Chimon is shining in this one. Hard to go wrong with a classic enemies-to-lovers

Hidden Agenda (BL) - This feels so bloody basic and derivative. Dunk is playing a nerd (except he's hot), Joong is reprising his role from Star and Sky, it's giving reverse 2gether, Podd and Guy are There for some reason??? I really like Joong but give my man some better roles. I'll still watch it tho

The Jungle - GMMTV said 'Diversely Yours' and then gave us a multi-starrer of several toxic men being the actual worst, and a bunch of women looking at them going 'I could fix him', and then gmmtv said 'here you go here's your diversity and representation'. No comment

Cooking Crush (BL) - OffGun Chef + Doctor AU. I can't particularly see a plot here so far, and I feel like offgun's strength lies outside the romcom genre, but that's just me tee hee ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Probably good mindless entertainment for babiis

Beauty Newbie - Remake of My ID is Gangnam Beauty. I don't have anything to say about this

23.5 (GL) - FINALLY gmmtv's first proper GL, and it's with MilkLove (as they deserve!!!) it's giving that soft sapphic pining and love, full of euphemism and metaphor, and i can't wait to see how it turns out. if we can have main BL with a side GL, then we can have a main GL with a side BL, that's equal rights babey

Loneliness Society - Remake of While You Were Sleeping. Again, as with all remakes, I have nothing to say

Our Skyy 2 - PATPRAN!!! PHUTIAN!! ITS THE RETURN OF OUR KINGS!!! (i'm also excited at the implication of Never Let Me Go finally finishing filming soon so that it airs before this one, i've been waiting for it all year esp since it was apparently supposed to air this september) And finally...

Only Friends - The ultimate mess. I made a flow chart just to be able to try and sort out the mess of relationships just in the trailer, and all I can say is I know this show is going to be a wild freaking ride, from start to finish. Neo is the drama, KhaoFirst have the best chemistry in the cast, and this is going to bang. Period

TLDR I'm most excited for/most likely to watch Double Savage, Our Skyy 2, Dangerous Romance, Only Friends, 23.5, Hidden Agenda

(I know this long ass post isn't what you asked for, but it's what you're getting)

BONUS

Never Let Me Go (Finally airing in 2023 hopefully)

Moonlight Chicken (Finally airing soon, either end 2022 or early 2023)

The Interest (new movie with Bright and Yaya)