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sharks833 · 3 years

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Sad Face

Well, my relationship of over a year has come to a very sudden end. I am very saddened by this but to be honest it makes as much sense as the rest of the relationship. We meet here on Tumblr, we became partners for a writing/art event. I had been a reader for this event before and this year I wanted to be a writer. Iv passively been a part of the community around the event for a while now and wanted to try and become active in the community. I enjoy reading and have always wanted to try my hand at writing on the count that I have a very vivid imagination and would like to try and get some of my thoughts down. I thought doing so on Tumblr would be a good idea both because I could give back to a wonderful community and people would be more understanding of my dyslexia which I use editing software to try and correct but sometimes even they don’t understand what I’m trying to spell (which spell check never does). To be honest, I was also looking for a more intimate relationship, but never really expected anything to come from it. I was very fortunate to get a wonderful partner but was too shy to ask them if they were a girl until I accidentally called them him for my big post and quickly edited it (a point that I got a lot of much deserved teasing for once we started dating). We kept talking after the event though and slowly after talking to each other every day we became closer and closer until I asked them if they wanted to start dating. Originally they said no, to which I was surprised and disappointed but understood that they were wary of dating after past experiences which I was made aware of. I thought they deserved a wonderful boyfriend and always hated when people said that and yet were themselves unwilling to be that person, so I offered myself. It wasn't long after that however when they confessed their own love for me and would love to date with an understanding of the things they would be uncomfortable with given their past. I was happy to be able to just talk to them and was more than happy to make any concession that would make them happy. A year passes and it’s both one of the best and worst years of my life.

(This is the complaining paragraph and if anyone reads this feel free to skip)

I quit my awful part-time job and moved out of my apartment I share with a roommate to try and live with my aunt and cousin in DC to try and go to CU in DC or find a job that I don't hate. Unfortunately the week I get there covid hits DC and we have quarantine. After about two months it's very clear things aren't going to work out and I go back home. Sadly my mother passed suddenly a few years ago and my father didn’t waste time finding remarrying, selling our family home, and moving in with her across the state line. At this time my twin brother gets recalled from the peace corps and now we are both in this strange house with this woman that we barely know who retired the moment she married my father much to his dismay. Were both forced to very quickly get any job and I find myself in hell on a tugboat for two months. Living in that hell for two weeks at a time working six hours, sleeping six hours. Once off the boat I get two weeks off and get to try and hide in a room that’s not mine from the monster that is my fathers’ wife. All while studying for the GRE and joining my brother in an online class to learn all the math. After two months I quit that hell much to the horror of my father. I’m quickly forced, and I mean forced as much as one can without putting a weapon against my skin, to work five hours of labor at FedEx throwing boxes in the back of semi-trucks. After another month the monster has had enough and me and my twin are moved into an apartment we didn’t get to choose but still pay everything for. The apartment isn't so bad as I'm away from my father and his wife and me and my twin took the GRE and will now be attending grad school in August through housing and such still need to be acquired.

Through this time though I've had the wonderful experience of being in a loving relationship. Every day I talked to my love and she talked to me. We went on dates and skyped with each other and I honestly loved Them more than I have loved anyone before. I want to fill a page full of all the wonderful things that we did and how happy I truly was at the time but those moments were between us and I like to keep the details of my love life private. My very first relationship was a long-distance one and it was a wonderful six months before it quickly became one-sided. For the next two years that we were dating, I was miserable because I didn't understand that people with more experience in dating get bored of relationships. After that, I never wanted to be in a one-sided relationship again. Sadly that's exactly where I found myself the moment they came home from the end of the semester. I always knew they were close to their family, and didn't and don’t mind being second or third to family, but I wasn't even last on the list. We went from talking every moment of the day to, from waking up to falling asleep, to never at all. I for my part tried to text her and keep a lively conversation, but she was never interested. After a week I figured she needed some time for herself but it became clear after another week if I wasn't talking to her then I'd never hear from her again. I tried to talk to her about this, and every time she apologized and said she felt awful about not talking and she would in the next few days but she never did. I talked about my past relationship with her and how I didn't want to be in another one-sided relationship again, and just as I had made concessions for the sake of our relationship she would too. I didn't think a single hello sent to me in the span of a month would be a deal-breaker to our relationship but here we are.

We first met in September of 2019 and for almost two years I felt like, for the first time in my life, there was somebody that actually cared if I was around. Iv always had a problem with saying no to people and giving more the is proportionate and as a result, always felt used or taken advantage of. I struggle with knowing how much to contribute to any kind of relationship and it has hindered my ability to be in healthy relationships whatever form they take. For the first time in my life though I found someone who gave to me just as much as I gave to them. Unsurprisingly however they admitted to me that they suffer from that same problem and that they never focus on themselves. I don't have too many friends so I'm normally focusing on myself and it was nice to be there for someone else. However, they have a family and others to focus on and as a result, almost never get to focus on themselves. Now that they are home however they would like to focus on themselves and no longer want anything to do with me. I get that though I don’t know why you can’t focus on yourself and still send me a hello, I don't want them to talk to me because they feel pressured to. If they have decided they no longer want me in their life suddenly then all I can do is hope they are able to achieve their goal and move on. I will always love and respect them for the kindness they have shown me.

As a moral philosopher who has studied the nature of virtue, I truly believe this person to be so virtuous as to be one of the greatest people, I have ever met. An observation I came to make shortly after meeting them, and I am very grateful I had their compassion for even a short time. I thought if I could lead them down the path of some philosophical school they would be able to find the answer to the problems they had but I never knew how to do it and now it's too late. My only regret is that I couldn’t help them with the problems more. In the entirety of our relationship from the first meeting to the end we never even got into one argument. Technically we did have somewhat of a fight when she decided to tell me she could no longer be in a relationship with me and work on herself but she ended the relationship the moment she left her dorm, she just forgot to let me know. I am again deeply saddened by this but I always knew in the back of my mind she too would get bored of me and move on. It's been the thread through all my relationships dating back to that first one and I knew it would appear again, I just wish my head had told my heart. I know in every relationship you tell each other you want to spend the rest of your life with the other one but for some reason I really believed it this time, making this loss all the more crushing. I know they won’t read this as I suspect only two people ever will and that for the best, I doubt she is saddened by this whole affair but on the off chance she is I don't want them to feel bad. I have always wanted them to be happy from the start and even know that it's over. That's all I want, it's all I ever wanted truly. Plato says happiness is what happens when all three parts of the soul are doing their work well, each part representing a virtue. I’ve always been good at knowing what to do (desire) and I'm alright at knowing how to do it (reason), but I've always been horrible at doing it (courage). She led me to courage though, both for her and myself. And for those moments when the three came together through her and for her, I can truly say to have been happy. I don’t know if I ever inspired anything in her that led her to happiness but I hope she can find someone that does, and that I can come to know the courage she showed me I had myself.

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formerhimedanshi · 4 years

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got tagged for a thing by @loudobjectprincess

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better (those numbers are very ambitious):

don’t feel obligated to do this if you don’t feel like it: @cristinadyke, @droamiin, @scrapyardnecromancer, and i’m way too shy to @ anyone I’ve never talked to before but tbh if we’re mutuals or you’re one of the people that follow me because I bought you WKTD/HWBM and you fill this out and tag me I will absolutely read it and love it

name: Cleo/Clio/Cliodnha (I also answer to Chloe by reflex now because my family gets it wrong so often)

gender: female

star sign: Libra for 12 sign, Virgo for 13 sign

height: I’m fairly sure i’m 5′5″ but my cousin who I am very slightly taller than keeps insisting that i’m 5′6″

time: 8:38PM EST, I wonder what time it’ll be when I finally finish this (it was 9:55PM)

favorite bands: blind guardian, that band that does most of the music for FFXIV, Go! Child, idk what else I don’t actually listen to that many songs from the same artist very often

favorite solo artists: i guess Neil Cicerega? I’ve been liking Alex Moukala’s remixes lately too, also vocaloid stuff too if that counts

last movie: bird’s of prey, at my cousin’s request

last tv show: I can’t say for certain but it might have been the spongebob christmas special, which I have on dvd and watch every year around christmas

when did you create this blog?: I’m going to say it was during summer(?) of 2015, although that’s mostly a guess. It’s possible it was late 2014

what do I post: mostly memes, plus the occasional hot take or positivity post, if I were brave I would actually post my writing but I am a coward so I don’t

last thing I googled: ff7 remake cloud strife, because imagining remake cloud as a trans butch lesbian does things to me. I swear. She is entirely too hot for someone who is supposed to be a cis man.

do I get asks: occasionally

why I chose my url: my name is cleo, I like snakes, I combined the two things

why you originally joined tumblr: cousin made me (every time I bring up a cousin assume it is the same cousin)

why you stayed: all the gay content (It’s worth noting at this point that I didn’t know I was gay or a girl at this point, so this probably should have been a sign)

average hours of sleep: varies every week, sometimes I can function for weeks on only two two hours naps a day, then other weeks I’ll sleep for like 12 hours at a time

what am I wearing: coat cus i’m cold and it looks good on me

dream job: wizard living in a tower

dream trip: moving to ireland eventually, also I kinda wanna go to one of those 3-day nightclubs they have in germany

favorite food: anything salty, also eggplant I suppose

nationality: irish

favorite song: Otherland by Blind Guardian is a strong contender, as is Bad Apple, oh also Servant of Evil. I’m bad at picking favorites

top three fictional universes: FFXIV, Pokemon, and Worm/Parahumans. Considering those are the 3 I tend to spend the most time thinking about. Digimon is a strong runner-up and would replace Worm if it were a question of universes I would choose to live in. Rune Factory might make this list too if the setting weren’t so vague.

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asterekmess · 4 years

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S3A - E3

Hiya, back with another episode of the rewatch. I am...not looking forward to this episode. *deep breath* here we go.

Read More’s save sanity

Hey, so I know this is a really heavy first bullet point...but isn’t anybody else uncomfortable with the image of a black boy running around out of his mind with fury and bloodlust and going after little...white kids? Am I reading too much into this? I know Cora’s running around too. I just...whatever, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut.

Straight from way too heavy to way too light. So that girl dropped a big jar of fireflies, but they say that fireflies that actually glow aren’t native to California, which would mean these are part of the whole magic thing going on, and at the end of the whole firefly thing they get rid of all the fireflies. So...what if someone finds that jar and opens it?

...nevermind the jar opened up somehow...

Okay, listen, I have a petty and biased hatred for this moment with Scott. Like...is it so hard to say, “I had to get the kids he was chasing away from him?” It’s not like they don’t have time..they just stand there in silence for a while. I also hate the savior pose he strikes there with the kids clinging to him. Like, I get that it’s a very common trope. I still hate it. I use the anti-scott tag for a reason, let me be salty.

why te fuck does Scott FLOAT in the intro?

Lydia has seriously emptied an entire bottle of ibuprofen? She should be dead. Or at least at a hospital. She’s too smart not to know how dangerous it is to take ibuprofen (even the recommended dosage) for too long at a time.

Lydia...Lydia knows about werewolves now. Did no one tell her about this whole escape plan for the betas? She could’ve helped.

Cue the shitty SFX running. Y’all look ridiculous.

Man, come on. Are you seriously telling me that Derek never played hide and seek with his siblings? Like, they’re werewolves for fuck’s sake. Derek never did fake chases through the woods? He tracked PETER for christ’s sake, all the way across town. He was like yards behind him before he got shot that one time.

This show relies a lot on character’s losing time and just finding themselves places. Jackson losing time, Lydia losing time. Lydia losing time again, but in a new way. Later, it’ll be Stiles losing time. I’m just saying, it happens a lot.

It’s fucking august in California. Does it actually get that cold? Poor Lydia’s nose is always red cus she gets forced to wander around in the dark and freezing. I can see her goosebumps when she kneels next to the pool.

I know it’s gotta be hell on her voice, but I think it’s so interesting the way Lydia screams and how it has to jump around the chords before hitting that one note. I don’t know why I find that so interesting. Guess it just reminds me of a wolf howl. Seriously, look ‘em up. Weirdly similar. GO Holland!

What do you mean the last memory that she had of her mother, Scott? You should’ve told her RIGHT THEN. Right off the bat. There was TONS of time between her getting bit and when she died. You should’ve told Allison right away. Fuck you, you had all of spring break!

god fucking damn it now I’m crying again. Erica, sweetie...Derek honey...

I’m trying to get past the tears to enjoy this romancey stuff, with the candles and the lil lamps, and the LOTR references. I’m really trying.

This is totally not what I should be thinking about while watching the two of them make out, but like, so does Caitlin not go to their school? She just sort of appears a couple times, but Stiles doesn’t seem to know her. Maybe she went to the same school as Heather?

don’t like bugs don’t like bugs ew ew ew ew

Hi cora!

Isaac! You’re somehow feeling better, even though you were apparently out of commission like an hour or two ago...wait huh?

I gotta say, okay, listen I just can’t help it. I know this is serious, but that lil smirk on Isaac’s face? I don’t think he looks smug, personally, I think he looks like he’s about to go play, go rolling around in the grass and leaves, playing with a pack member. He’s been alone for so long this summer, what with Jackson leaving. he’s had no wolves to play with (cus’ we know Derek’s a grump). As worried as he’s gotta be, I bet he’s having funnnnnn.

I..uh..Cora what sound is coming out of your mouth? That..that does not sound like a wolf. That sounds like a wild cat of some kind. Wolves don’t make that screechy noise. They bark and growl, like the sound that came just before. That doesn’t even sound like a roar. Who gave you cheetah sounds?? You’re canine, not feline. Come on they did SO WELL with Derek’s sounds-- No. NO Do not tell me they gave Cora cat sounds cus she’s a chick. I’m gonna fight someone. (For those of you interested, if you scroll to the bottom of this webpage, you can listen to wolf growl snippets and they’re such good quality (I think the bark snippet is broken tho). Listen to those whimpers and whines too, fucking fascinating. I love wolves. Such beautiful animals.)

Cora with Isaac and Scott attacking her and growling at her: “Fuck you, I’ll bite you!” Cora with Derek just growling at her: “BYE bro!”

Stiles, honey! I missed you! Literally, just the sound of your voice makes me feel better.

Scott, Seriously, Derek just said you haven’t tracked either of them anywhere near the pool. You’ve both been following them all night! Yeah, they’re dangerous, but they couldn’t get to the pool and back in time to fight you! I”M GONNA SMACK YOU. DOn’t use that fucking patronizing tone of voice when Derek is TELLING YOU FACTS.

OUR fault? OUR FAULT? I’m gonna fucking *kicks a chair and storms off, grumbling* *Spins around, cus fuck it i’m gonna yell. it’s my post.* NONE OF THIS is DEREK”S FAULT. NOne of this is ISAAC’S FAULT. Fuck dude, I’ll even say that it’s not Scott’s fault! If it’s anyone other than the Alphas’ fault, it’s Allison’s, but tbf she thought she was helping.

DEREK SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH. I swear to god.

ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING? DEREK WOULD NEVER SUGGEST MURDERING BOYD AND CORA. NEVER. He thought Cora was fucking dead and he just found out she’s alive! HE WOULD NEVER. NEVER. FUCK YOU. FUCK EVERYTHING. *Throws a plate* YOU KNOW YOU ONLY FUCKING WROTE IT SO THAT YOU COULD SHOW OFF SCOOT MCFUCKFACE’S SUDDEN FLIP IN MORALITY BY HAVING HIM SAY THAT “KILLING ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO” OH REALLY Scott? REALLY? Killing is bad? YOU DIDN’T THINK SO WHEN YOU SPENT MONTHS attempting to commit PREMEDITATED MURDER of a GUY WHO WAS ALREADY DYING. MONTHS. Scott. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS SHOW. 13 minutes in and I’m already about to chuck my laptop across the room. MY CAT WON’T EVEN CUDDLE ME ANYMORE I’M SO ANGRY.

And now I’m really fucking sad, cus’ I hate watching this poor girl get told she’s just hallucinating.

WHY does everyone go shopping at fucking 8 pm in Beacon Hills? What...Chris you don’t even have a day job.

I don’t...I don’t understand this scene with Isaac. Like..what exactly are they trying to imply? That he thinks she’s hot? All he’s seen is her raging around with fangs free and glowing eyes. And yeah, some people definitely think that’s hot. But like...that’s just so...what? I choose to read this scene as him just wondering about Derek’s home life. Like, “Since when do you have siblings? Why don’t you tell me these things? I have an aunt?”

WHAT DO YOU mean “Your world?” CHRIS YOU GREW UP AS A HUNTER. THIS IS YOUR WORLD TOO. He was YOUR dad. You’ve been a part of this WAY longer than Scott! Don’t blame the werewolves for ruining your life! THAT WAS YOUR DAD and YOUR STUPID HUNTER CODE’S FAULT.

OKay, listen, I have so many issues with this I need a therapist to mediate my conversations with it. FUCK YOU TW for bringing in Chris. I dont’ give a fuck if he’s experienced or trying to redeem himself. He is a HUNTER he has Slaughtered Derek’s kind for his entire life. He may want to do the right thing, but the right thing definitely doesn’t involved him Standing in front of Derek and forcing him to listen to hunter PROPAGANDA BULLSHIT. I’M SO FUCKING MAD. This was so inappropriate, holy shit. SO far beyond okay. Even the CONCEPT that werewolves wouldn’t be as good at tracking other werewolves as hunters are is fucking stupid. You said it yourself, Chris they can follow scent up to TWO MILES AWAY. Wolves can track their prey for weeks without losing the scent. Just because Isaac stepped on some footprints doesn’t mean he’s incapable of finding them. And what’s all this shit about them “Being able to rely on their human half”? NO? First off, minor detail. Werewolves aren’t half wolf, half human, dumbass. They’re all werewolf. AND The show has said like Ten TIMES that they can’t access their human form/the thought processes they would normally have during a full moon without an anchor, and Boyd and Cora are effectively anchorless on this moon. This is just utter bullshit and I’m so goddamn angry I don’t even know how to process it. “If you’re not trained like me you have no idea this print is Boyd’s” YEAH THEY DO. THEY CAN LITERALLY SMELL IT. DEREK ALREADY IDENTIFIED THE TRACKS. FUCK you.

ALSO. Getting REAL SICk of people slicing their wrists every time they need a little blood for a ritual or for bait. YOU CUT THE MEAT of the arm. ON THE BACK. WHERE YOU WON”T HIT a VEIN. DUMBASSES.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NINE YEARS DEREK? YOU’D BETTER MEAN CORA WAS NINE YEARS OLD, CUS’ THE FIRE WAS SIX YEARS AGO. and what do you mean you don’t have a lock on her scent? you’ve been following it just fine all night! Wolves remember human scents decades later.

Booooo, i hate the entire concept of wolves going mad on a full moon. It’s lazy and boring. Wolves are not vicious animals, they’re shy as fuck. THey don’t attack without reason. Werewolves should be the same. Full moon’s enhance their wolfishness, so it should make them MORE SHY. The moon should enhance whatever they feel, rather than just making them mindlessly aggressive.

“Primal apex Predatory satisfaction”? seriously? Shut the FUCK up Chris, I’m really fucking sick of your hunter bedtime stories.

....i hate this woman.

Casual reminder that Isaac wouldn’t suggest Killing boyd. Ever. I fucking hate these writers.

yeah yeah, running scene. blah blah blah.

See, I never really understood those fics where Peter just refuses to give anyone any info. He tells Derek what’s up constantly. He didn’t lie or hold anything back when he helped Derek figure out what was up with Jackson or how Jackson needed Lydia to be cured. He walks right up to Derek and says “Hey, so those Alphas clearly want you to join them and that means they’re trying to make you kill your own pack” Peter helps Derek all the time. He’s just a dick while he does it.

Look, I love this moment with Peter, his “Let Scott be the hero of his morally black and white world. You and I, we live in shades of gray” lines are so good, and they speak so much to his character and personality. And he’s right. But I hate that they built the scene around Derek planning to kill his own pack, and following Scott around doing as he asks. I just hate what they do to Derek here.

The dog whistles suddenly have no effect on their hearing? Love it.

Take a second to bring up a plotline you won’t explain for ages. I vibe with that, so long as it is eventually explained.

OOh, suddenly BHHS has a football field?

Not gonna cry, not gonna cry. FUCK I’m crying again.

I just...dude I’m over here trying not to completely lose my shit and cry like a baby, and Stiles is in the middle of panicking and losing his oldest friend and he still puts the dots together. Like. Jesus christ this boy.

NOW Derek? You choose NOW to take Every Single Step down the stairs? JUMP.

...what is this a cartoon? Glowing eyes in the dark? one too many sets? Yeah, yeah, I get it, they’re supposed to look like fireflies.

Why did you stop to look at each other after blasting them? Just go.

OH, yeah, of course Scott has to be the one to hear the extra heartbeat. Scott. Not Derek. Not the ALpha who’s senses are heightened above the a Beta’s. Not DEREK the ALPHA who has a PACK, which makes his senses even stronger that that. No. Scott. The omega. Because he’s like an inch closer to the door. Yah. Sure. That makes sense. SUre.

Dude I wish my high school had that much backup supplies free for the teacher’s to grab. Also, I hate this woman.

WHy were the lights off in the boiler room if she was in the back grabbing stuff? That..what?

OH. I forgot, so Caitlin’s out of high school? She’s...what, 18? 19? Okay, fine, I’ll take that.

Oh stop faking Jennifer, fuck you.

Crying again. dont’ mind me. This is Derek. Not choosing to kill his beta or his long lost sister. Choosing to die himself instead. THAT is Derek (it’s self-sacrificing and it’s because he gives his own life no worth, but it’s still him.)

HOW IS IT DAWN? THAT WOULD BE like 6 HOURS of standing around! Or did the sun not set until like 10 pm? Hm? This show has no concept of time, and werewolves are very time oriented. Someone take away the show from the writers. They’ve lost their privileges.

I hate this. I hate that Isaac shouts for Scott. Not Derek. That’s just so fucking dumb. I’m so tired of it. I’m just so fucking sick of it.

I don’t even wanna look at this. I hate this woman so much.

YOU REALIZE that the third Virgin was Taken. The third virgin is DEAD. the sacrifices have been made, and now Jennifer has control over people. This is where she starts controlling Derek. Right Fucking Here. He loses his agency the moment they touch, if not the moment they make eye contact or he gets in range. I hate it. I HATE IT.

BOOM. Episode three, and Stiles already has the villain after next figured out. He’s past the Alphas now.

Final Thoughts: I’m angry, I’m tired, and I honestly got very little joy or interest out of this whole episode. I hate what this show did to werewolves and how much insane Scott glorification there is and how every little thing HAS to be about Scott. Scott’s relationship with Chris. Scott saving the kids. Scott’s the one Isaac calls for. Scott’s the one who hears the heartbeats. I get that he’s the main character. I also hate that he’s the main character. It’s just so sad and pathetic and boring and just....ugh. I’m going to bed. I will try for another episode or two tomorrow.

(I promise I’m okay. Just go listen to the wolf howls for me in that link, huh? Listen to those beauties and imagine how amazing a wolf show could have been.)

#personal #TeenWolf-Rewatch #anti-scott mccall #i'm sad #but i promise not as sad as it might come across #just need a lil break

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zuulosdovah · 5 years

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2, 6, and 13 for the HPHM ask meme! :)

Definitely going to put this one under a read more, because I’ve never talked about the Malins as a family before, so I kind of info dump a lot

Thank you so much for the prompts

2. How did you come up with your MC and Jacob’s backstory (family, where they’re from, their relationship with each other, etc.)?6. Describe your MC in 5 words or less &/or using 5 or less gifs13. What is your Jacob’s favourite thing from Honeydukes?

2. How did you come up with your MC and Jacob’s backstory (family, where they’re from, their relationship with each other, etc.)?

Basically I have a vague idea of what kind of characters I have to work with, then I just ask myself follow-up questions about why they are the way they are, how that affects the way they interact with one another, and how i can tie that in with canon, which gives me new ideas and new follow-up questions ect ect.

Brace yourselves, cus I’ve never talked about their family before, so it’s time for that info dump.

Jacob and Kaina’s relationship is very inspired by the relationship I have with my own little sister. We’re very close and I, too, am an anxious older sibling who has to rely on my more competent, outgoing younger sibling. It’s funny cus initially, Kaina was the shy one who was scared of people, and Jacob was suave and confident (which you can kind of see in this post). But that clashed with the way the MC acted in game, so I ended up switching their personalities, which worked out a lot better imo.

Their dad - Sigurd Malin - is pretty much just an excuse for me to project all my ideas about Wizarding Sweden onto a single person, because I’m from Sweden and I refuse to believe that magic in the north is the exact same as magic in Britain.

For example, Sigurd - being a pureblood from Sweden - definitely went to Durmstrang. And hey, look at that, there’s a viking era witch called Völvur. We’ll bring them into modern day wizarding society, make them a kind of professional Seer/shaman who can allegedly shape the future as well as see it, and make Sigurd one.

Oh, but male Völvur used to be seen as ergi (=unmanly, perverse). Modern society is probably past that, but it might be an issue with traditional and old fashioned families, which Sigurd definitely came from, before being disowned for his controversial career choice. The falling out with his family prompted him to move to Britain, where he met his future wife.

Because of his upbringing and falling out, he would probably decide early on that he’d never be like his parents, and instead became a very relaxed and fun parent to Jacob and Kaina, dedicated to throwing pureblood values to the wind. He was almost as excited as Jacob was when Jacob developed an interest in muggle punk, because his own father would have a stroke if he came home wearing a leather jacket and jeans.

But he’s barely mentioned in canon. In fact, he doesn’t seem to be present at all. So what happened to him?

He left.

When Jacob disappeared, The Daily Prophet made a lot of “speculations” about the whole family. One theory that caught on was that the Durmstrang father with his dark arts inspired Jacob to become a death eater. This is just after Voldemort’s fall, and the backlash towards Sigurd was so strong he had to move back home to Sweden just to escape it and take the heat off his family.

Their mum - Lucy Malin - is mostly taken directly from canon.

It’s mentioned she has relatives in America and both her kids are Legilimens, so I totally subscribe to the Grandpa Kowalski Theory. She always came off as strict to me, not letting her kids practice magic outside of school and such even though they live in a wizarding neighborhood, so I thought it’d make sense for her to work in the Improper Use of Magic office.

But she’s married to Sigur, who would definitely marry out of love to stick it to pureblood tradition, so she’s can’t be strict as in traditional, but rather strict as in having a strong sense of justice and belief in following the rules. If the rules are unjust, you don’t break them, you change them. Or you maliciously comply the shit out of them. She falls under the same kind of gryffindor as Percy or Hermione does.

She balanced her husband out well, until Jacob disappeared and Sigurd left, which messed up the family dynamic badly. Her strict attitude was taken to an extreme to protect the one family member she had left, which pretty much ruined her relationship with said family member, since Kaina values her freedom highly and saw it as a betrayal that they ever stopped looking for Jacob.

And it’s apparent enough in the game that Jacob didn’t really talk to his family about what was going on, but I also have a sneaking suspicion that this is something the entire family was guilty of?

Like, you are a Legilimens like your mother before you, so you know it’s something your kids could inherit, but since they haven’t shown any signs of it, you just don’t mention it to them at all.

You are a Seer, and you’re having prophetic dreams about your son going missing, but you don’t want to spook the rest of your family, so you just keep that to yourself.

You are in deep trouble, and now the cult you’ve been helping is threatening to harm your family and friends. Better go missing rather than tell anyone about it.

You’ve found definite proof that your brother is alive, a cult is trying to murder you, and the Cursed Vaults are very very real, but no one listened to you before, so this time you’re just not going to tell anyone. That way no one can stop you. (Can you tell Kaina has issues with authority figures?)

(insp.)

6. Describe your MC in 5 words or less &/or using 5 or less gifs

13. What is your Jacob’s favourite thing from Honeydukes?

True to canon, his favourite treats are peppermint frogs. Then liquorice wands, then sugar quills.

#ebbet #ask #hphm #hogwarts mystery #Harry Potter Hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #jacob's sibling #drakaina malin #sigurd malin #lucy malin #dovah draws #long post is VERY long #this post has been sitting in my drafts FOREVER but i think i'm finally happy with it

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jasntodds · 6 years

Text

2018 Fic Recs by you

Before the new year started, I had y’all send in your favorite fics of 2018 with the option to leave some comments for the authors! Now, I finally have the time to sit down and make this post. The comment section was optional so some may more comments than others but it’s nothing personal, some people are just shy!

The questions were:

What's your favorite part of this fic?

Why is this your favorite fic of the year?

Is there anything you want to say to the author?

Recs under the cut!

I Only Feel You (Mob!Tom Holland x Reader) by @stuckonspidey

Comments from readers:

honestly, all of it! it's so beautifully written and an amazing read

this is my fave fic because it's such a thrill to read and every time a chapter posts, i'm always up and anticipating the next!

yes!! lilly u are SO talented and i admire ur series sososo much!

Comments from another reader:

Look I have a weakness for Mob!Tom and soulmate au and I just love how Lilly combined those two and y'know because it was Mob!Tom I expected him to be more cold and distant but instead he's such a puppy (and a sub) around reader like wow she has him wrap up in her fingers and Reader is so stubborn I love that! And I just love everything about THIS!

KEEP DOING GURL I LOVE IT

The Art Of Pretending (Student!Harrison Osterfield x Reader) by @h-osterfield

You’re Your Father’s Daughter (Peter Parker x Stark!Reader) by @celestialparker

Comments from readers:

towards the end where y/n finally talks to tony and it just pulls on the heart strings

it's just really good and has a great topic and it's well thought out

you're amazing ily

Phantom (Peter Parker x Reader) by @silverishparker

Comments from readers:

The entire thing.

It’s writing is really poetic and makes me cry every time.

Only You (Tom Holland x Reader) by @tommyparkerr

Comments from readers:

The scene on the balcony

It was so real but romantic

Never stop writing because you’re amazing

Milkshakes (Tom Holland x Reader) by @thothollandd

Comments from readers:

It's hard to determine a favorite part- The entire thing is amazing.

It is so incredibly soft and very very well written. I love everything about it.

gwshbdusejkh The amount of talent and skill you have with writing is incredible. It was hard to pick just one fic from your masterlist, cuz I am so in love with everything you write! <3

Guys Like You (Tom Holland x Reader) by @spxderbarnes

Comments from readers:

it’s cute and angsty

I have so many man

all of your fics are brilliant

Untitled (CEO!Tom Holland x Reader) by @underoosbws

Comments from readers:

all around amazing

very original and well written

I love all of your fics!

Jealous (Tom Holland x Reader) by @sunsetspidey

Comments from readers:

it’s well written

all of your fics are great!

Real Love (Tom Holland x Reader) by @twilightparker

Comments from readers:

imma sucker for angsty fluff

I just love it

I’m literally a hoe for all of your writings

Say You Love Me (Tom Holland x Reader) by @foreverbeingthunderbuddy

Comments from readers:

it’s the perfect amount of angst with fluff

I’m absolutely in love with your writings

More Than That (Tom Holland x Reader) by @snowflakespideys

(the link on your masterlist isn’t working, I’m sorry!!)

Comments from readers:

I love friends to lovers fics

this writer is just talented and this piece is great

True Reflections (Tom Holland x Reader) by @uglypastels

Comments from readers:

it’s just so beautifully written

it takes on insecurities and there’s no sugarcoating. I can tell that the author really took their time on this and wanted it to be serious.

thank you for not making this another half-assed, cheesy insecurity fic where the writer isn’t taking it seriously

Too Close (BestFriend!Tom Holland x Reader) by @stuckonspidey

Comments from readers:

it’s just so incredibly written, with the right amount of angst and fluff and it’s not even finished yet!

it’s honestly one of my favorite fics I’ve read on tumblr. It’s so original and I love the friendship the reader and Tom have. I love everything about it.

you’re an absolute sweetheart and our dm chats make me laugh

Comments from another reader:

Bestfriend!Tom!! unrequited love?? pining!!?! I am here for this. This fic breaks my heart! I am still unsure if Tom now likes reader romantically or if it'a just really platonic BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY HOPES HIGH AGAIN JUST SO OP CAN DROP IT AGAIN

I LOVE YOU!!!

The Rooftop Party (Tom Holland x Reader) by @twilightparker

Comments from readers:

perfectly angsty with a huge amount of wonderfully written fluff at the wnd

everything by @twilightparker is just beautiful

I love your writings and you’re a sweetheart

Still Here (Tom Holland x Reader) by @sparky-holland

Comments from readers:

it’s just so original with an interesting twist

it’s different and well written

Invisible (Peter Parker x Reader) by @celestialparker

Comments from readers:

it’s original and beautifully written.

I love celestialparker’s writings so much wowowow

Cheerleaders & Milkshakes (Peter Parker x Cheerleader!Fem!Reader) by @spxderbarnes

Comments from readers:

I love the whole popular!reader x peter parker!

it’s so original and fluffy and soft. The reader isn’t your typical popular girl and she reminds me a lot of liz. She’s kind and generous along with warm hearted and I love it!

thank you for this!

We’re Only Kidding Ourselves (Tom Holland x Reader) by @wazzupmrstark

Comments from readers:

The inevitable tension between reader and Tom is insane. So much anticipation I love it.

the fact that I plan to be a PA one day and die every time i read it because this is my dream

You deserve ALL the reads!! Even through only 5 chapters so far this story gets me so excited every update. :)

Dare You To Move (FWB!Roommate!Tom Holland x Reader) by @starksparker

Comments from readers:

Because it's amazingly well written!

I haven't read many fics this year (I'm relatively new to the whole writing on Tumblr thing) and this one really stood out to me amongst the ones I have read.

kaylee i love u and keep up the amazing work!! ur my role model!!!!!

Prove Myself (Peter Parker x Superhero!Reader) by @foreverbeingthunderbuddy

Comments from readers:

EVERYTHING!! the entire fic is gold and so so good.

her writing just absolutely astounds me and i love it so goddamn much. this was the first i read of hers and i literally cannot get enough of her writing

you are awesome! you are amazing & i hope you keep writing

Comments from another reader:

The cute, slow burn relationship with Peter, the reader‘s powers and the connection to Thor. Also how tony went into dad mode

Because the plot idea is so original and the reader character was so relatable and i loved the humor and every chapter had me at the edge of my seat. Always come back to reread

Please never stop and I hope you‘ll get more recognition for your writing, sweetie, I really do

Get To Know You Better (Sebastian Stan x Reader) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

Umm all of it? But especially the part where they make a family and it's really cute and I love it. The series is really cute.

Cus it was one of the first fics I read written by Jill and it led to us being mutuals and I love her so much. The series just is so cute but it has heavier bits and it's realistic in the issues it deals with. All of her stuff is. I love it all so much.

I love your stuff and I think you're really great.

Tearing Down Sandcastles (Sebastian Stan x Reader) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

The part they meet up again in New York after the holiday.

Because it's really cute and realistic and I love it a lot. I just really love her serieses. (what's the plural of series?)

You got this, buddy.

Happier (Sebastian Stan x Reader) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

when they start to be friendly to each other again. Conflict really plays with my emotions

It's very different from what she usually writes and it's kinda new, I guess. It's very dramatic and intense.

It's different, but it's really good. You should definitely keep this one til the end. you're just great at everything you do, I guess. Both cute relationships and toxic ones.

Comments from another reader:

the part when they make it up to each other. Conflict really plays with my emotions ;-;

it's something new. It's full of toxicity and drama and I love it

I don't know how you can be good at everything but you are.

Check My Heartrate I Think I’m Falling For You (Sebastian Stan x Reader) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

the first part of the series.

It's really light and humorous and I love that.

I've read this one so many times I love it. Its snazzy.

Write Me A Lullaby (Sebastian Stan x Reader) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

the part where they meet face to face for the first time it's great

cus it was the very first thing I ever read that belonged to Jill and it's also what really introduced me to the Marvel fandom. It's the first Marvel thing I read. It's what ultimately led to me becoming mutuals with Jill and then everyone else I met afterwards.

I love you!

They’ll Make A Movie About Us (Sebastian Stan x Reader) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

the part where he gets the call. It's cute how concerned he is about her.

It's just a really small, hurt/comfort thing and I love that

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Like Dark Chocolate (Tom Holland x Reader) by @madmadmilk

Comments from readers:

The drama but honestly everything

Because it’s so well written and the slowburn and suspense are killing me and giving me life at the same time

I love you and your writing. You are such a talented writer and artist and just an amazing person overall

Comments from another reader:

I just- This fic is wow! and please beware everything I'm saying is going to be full of spoilers so STOP READING THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ LDC YET AND READ THIS FIC NOW!!! ok so like Reader loves Tom who is still in a relationship with Mal who emotionally manipulates him and ughh I hate Mal but I love how Jacky handled her character! like?!?!? Mal obviously has deep problems it doesn't excuse her behavior but I hope she gets help?!?! like?!? and I think Tom genuinely likes reader and wants to leave Mal but he's scared because he knows what's up with her and is afraid that something happens when he leaves her but!!!! I still think he shouldn't have had sex with reader and go back to Mal because wow reading that shit really hurt me AND reader. I must admit sometimes I rooted for Haz but then reader did the same thing like Tom and u f f this is a mess AND UGHH I HOPE READER AND TOM TALK IT OUT (and usvakakba it's been a while since I read it soabjasnj)

STOP GIVING ME FEELS

Jasminum Sambac (Sebastian Stan x OC) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

When he finally admits his feelings for her

It's a flowershop thing and I love those

💕😍

Keep My Heart (Chris Evans x Fem!OC) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

when they get a baby! ahhh

It's been going on for a long time and I think it's still ongoing so it's just something nice to come back to. It provides plenty of hurt/comfort and I love that.

This is definitely one of my favourite things you've written, I love it.

25 Days Of Sebmas (Sebastian Stan x Reader) by @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

Comments from readers:

I like the last two prompts

Cus they were all really nice stories that didn't have really complex storylines liek the rest of her stuff. Just some quick and cute reads

Well done on completing the challenge!

Blame It On The Whiskey (Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader) by @lostinbuckyseyes

Comments from readers:

the ending when he tells her it's okay and he tells her he likes her.

Cus it's really good and cute but it's not hard to understand. It's really well written.

I know you're going through some hard times but it'll be okay. It'll all work out. And hey, now you match Bucky!

The Sun Could Never Hate You (Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan) by @what-the-buckybarnes

Comments from readers:

The real emotion portrayed so well

It’s not over the top, it’s very simple but is so raw and life like that it just blows other fics out of the water

You are my fave mutual and your writing is A+

Partners In Crime (Mob!Tom Holland x Mob!Fem!Reader) by @spiderrrling

Comments from readers:

I love that she writers a badass female character in a Mob! series

Light (Dad!Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader) by @letthembehappymcu

Comments from readers:

father and daughter relationship

Good Together (Bucky Barnes x Reader) by @irndad

Comments from readers:

Her characterization of Bucky is just spot on, and the way she writes the relationship really draws the reader in.

I'm always searching for really good Bucky reader insert fics and they're hard to find because the mcu didn't give Bucky much of a characterization, but she really made him feel whole, alive, and real.

Thank you so much for writing this and I hope you know how talented you are.

Kiss Me At Midnight (BestFriend!Tom Holland x Reader) by @petuniatom

Comments from readers:

FAKE DATING?!?!?! YES!!! MEETING THE FAM?!?!?! YESSS?!?!??! THEIR RELATIONSHIP?!?!? YES YES YED

YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING BIHHHHH!! PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR!!!!

Ground Rules (Tom Holland x Reader) by @madmadmilk

Comments from readers:

Uh basically how she threw her rules out the window for Tom cause it’s kinda relatable like we all have someone that we threw our rules out the window for

Helped me through a really tough time tbh

Thank you for being such an amazing writer and gifting us with such beautiful fics

Comments from another reader:

THIS IS THE SHIT! TO KEEP IT SHORT THIS IS AMAZING AND A FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER SO FUCKING PREPARE YOURSELVES HOES!!!! AND SPOILERWARNING!!!! Honestly reading how Reader loves Haz was so heartbreaking because those two were so close and I'm just akshakakaah and his Gf Em YES I love her and I love how Jacky didn't pit Em and Reader against each other instead they show love and support for each other AND I AM HERE FOR THIS GIRL SUPPORT the same with Z too😤😤😤 and I love how Tom and reader's relationship was developed and u f f THAT part (y'all know which I'm talking about) still shook me 'till this day like wow! BUT!!! I am so happy how it ended. Like?!?! Z and Reader are in a good term (not like they've ever been bad to each other), Tom opening himself to reader up!!! Haz and Em are amazing!!! THIS FIC IST JUST GREAT OK!!!

JACKY YOUR DOING GREAT

Domino (Tom Holland x Reader) by @madmadmilk

Comments from readers:

Ok first of all I LOVE Tom and Reader's relationship like?!?!?! It's definitely not perfect and they both still have some things to work out with BUT THAT WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT!!! AND the friendship between Tom, Reader, Z and Haz is AMAZING (and I love when Jacob and Laura makes an appearance👀) I- THIS FIC MADE ME CRY AND LAUGH AND JUST! GAVE! ME! SO! MANY! FEELINGS!

It was my first Tom fic so👀👀

Jacky YOU ARE AMAZING! I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU WROTE! I hope you had an amazing break! I missed you and ajsvakamjsak ACCEPT MY LOVE ANR SUPPORT💗💞💓💟💕💗💟💞💗💟💗💞

Common Courtesy (Harrison Osterfield x Reader) by @madmadmilk

Comments from readers:

It was so cute!!! EVERYTHING IS GOOD ABOUT IT

I LOVE YOU JACKY

Silence (Vigilante!Tom Holland x Reader) by @astronomyparkers

Comments from readers:

This fic AMAZING!!! It's so exciting and that TWIST IN THE LAST PART WAS WOW!!!! JUST READ IT GUYS!!!

Bby YOU'RE DOING GREAT

The First Punch (Boxer!Tom Holland x Boxer!Reader0 by @starksparker

Comments from readers:

Currently it would be the tension between Tom, y/n, and Arthur. All I can picture is obadiah from Iron Man.

The writing is fantastic, the story is compelling and it feels like you've been dropped into a Shameless (US) AU with Marvel and Tom related themes. The twists and turns don't stop. It's a beautiful, agonizing, intense, and overall amazing piece of work.

Other than my review above, just keep writing and reach out to publishers. Everything you write I immediately get hooked on and I can't wait to see where this next year takes you and your creative writing. If there is any way to add me to you permanent tags list, please do because I love seeing what you create. @angrybitch679

Protected (Harrison Osterfield x Reader) by @hholyholland

Comments from readers:

I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship about 2 months ago, and man that stuff tears you up. Reading this was like a little fluffy reminder that I'll be ok.

Thank you for writing this. Seriously, when stuff my ex said to me gets caught up in my head, I go back and read this. I mean I cry like every time, but worth it.

For King Or Country (Tom Holland x Reader) by @avengers-sweethearts

Comments from readers:

Every scene kept me on edge! The whole series is beautiful.

All of Madison's series are amazing but there is something about the time period that makes this fic dramatic and adventurous.This series is so full of twists and turns, you have no idea where it will go next. The stakes are constantly high, so the moments of fluff are relishable.

Madison really knows how to keep her readers wanting more & she is so gosh darn sweet that it's impossible not to like all of her series!

#follower fic recs #kaylee talks

138 notes · View notes

cardcaptorcoconut · 6 years

Text

Sakura Fest 2018

Sorry it took so long to write this up! I’m finally on a proper “weekend” break for the first time in nearly 2 months (thank god for comp days!) so this is my first chance to really sit down and write up the rundown of Sakura Fes 2018. It’s been a few weeks since the event happened, but I typed up a bunch of notes that night to make sure I remembered as much as possible. :)

This post is really long and text heavy, so apologies in advance! Also, please keep in mind for those of you who have not caught up to the halfway point in the anime that there are heavy spoilers for the first half of the season.

For the Japanese rundown of with some additional photos during the event, there is a link here with some.

[EDIT] There were mispellings for Saori Hayami’s name. I’ve fixed it now.

This year’s Sakura Fes was held at Maihama Amphitheater, right next door to Tokyo Disneyland. It’s so close by you can hear and see the park rides. This was a much larger venue than last year’s event at Rune Kodaira Hall (total capacity in the large hall there is 1,229 people vs Maihama Amphitheater’s 2,170) and much more centralized in Tokyo. As with last year, there were two performances - the afternoon one and the evening one.

Tickets for the event really blew me away this time around. I didn’t win the lottery tickets early on, but waited for the general ones to go on sale. The morning they did, tickets for BOTH events FULLY sold out within only 10 minutes! I tried to get tickets for the afternoon event, but they disappeared just as I was buying them. Luckily, I snatched up ones for the evening event this time (and am SUPER glad that I did!).

#1) Before the Event

Even though I was going to the later one, a good friend of mine in Tokyo had lucked out and gotten herself a lottery ticket for the early show, so I met up with her before it started. I loitered around outside with her until it was time for her session to start.

There were TONS of people waiting around for the goods for the evening show to go on sale, and apparently a lot of stuff had sold out quickly for the early show.

I waited where I thought we were supposed to line up for a bit, but then someone with a megaphone instructed that everyone for the evening session’s goods line needed to form a different line elsewhere - it was almost like a stampede getting to where we needed to go! I managed to get sort of close to the front of the line somehow, but even so by the time I got into to buy goods, some stuff was already sold out!

Here are a few photos of the venue, goods, lobby, & how everything looked on the day:

List of goods on sale:

The line for entry wrapped around the building:

Kero-chan flower arrangement from Good Smile Company!:

Easter Display:

Fanmail boxes for Aya Hisakawa, Junko Iwao, and Sakura Tange:

After wandering around and taking as many pics as I could, I made my way inside (my seat was in the very, very back of G Block in the theater).

#2) Event Intro & Cast Introductions

The stage itself looked like this from where I was sitting. Take note of the location of the magic circle on stage:

Once everyone had settled in for the event itself, the lights dimmed and the stadium made an announcement about the rules (no photography, filming, etc, so unfortunately I don’t have any photos or videos for this reason aside from the ones above).

Then suddenly, from where Sakura’s Clear Card magic circle was shining on the stage, the floor sunk down and opened up leaving a huge hole where it was. It rose back up seconds later with the life-sized Kero and Suppie mascots dressed up on it. Suppie had on a pair of bunny rabbit ears on his head (Kero did not). Behind them, they had a whiteboard about Easter (much like they do in the Kero-chan Explains It All segments at the end of every episode).

As always, Kero (voiced live by Aya Hisakawa) greeted everyone with "Konanachiwa!!” After getting the audience to do it back, they dove into an explanation about Easter. Unlike Halloween, Easter is not a commonly celebrated holiday in Japan even in the secular sense (Easter Bunny, egg hunts, etc), and the majority of Japanese people don’t know what it’s about. Kero started by explaining that Easter is a Christian holiday and is about resurrection and coming back to life. He started going deep into the religious origins of the holiday, but Suppie held up a sign saying “Don’t give such complicated explanations!!”

Kero gave up and said that if the religious meaning of the holiday is too complicated for everyone to understand, then there is a secular meaning too. He said that the Clear Card Arc is the resurrection of the Cardcaptor Sakura anime, which is why they chose to hold the event as “Sakura and her Friends’ Happy Easter” this year. He also explained that bunnies and eggs are a motif of the holiday and that’s why Suppie was wearing rabbit ears. Kero said that it was time for the event to begin and they both waved as the big monitor above cued up.

The platform they were on descended below again as Maaya Sakamoto’s “Clear” and the opening visuals for Clear Card Arc started playing. As the opening credits progressed, the platform rose back up and all of the CCS cast members participating in the event were on it this time:

Sakura Tange (Sakura Kinomoto)

Junko Iwao (Tomoyo Daidouji)

Aya Hisakawa (Kero)

Motoko Kumai (Syaoran Li)

Megumi Ogata (Yukito Tsukishiro / Yue)

Minori Suzuki (Akiho Shinomoto)

Natsuki Hanae (Yuna D. Kaito)

Everyone waved at the audience and as the theme ended and the platform stabilized, they walked back to the main stage area, but didn’t take their seats just yet. The emcee came out at this point and went through a brief introduction of each cast member. They were in this order from left to right on the stage: Ogata-san, Kumai-san, Hisakawa-san, Tange-san, Iwao-san, Suzuki-san, Hanae-san. [Note: I can’t remember if Kumai-san and Hisakawa-san were sitting in this format, but if not they were switched seats - everyone else was for sure sitting like this.]

The emcee brought up that this year’s theme is Easter again and did another explanation of it for the audience. She said again that it’s originally a Christian holiday, but that in Japanese it’s known as 復活祭 (”Resurrection Festival”) and they wanted to use it because CCS came back too.

At that point, everyone went to sit down in the chairs provided and the emcee gave each staff a chance to introduce themselves. During Tange-san’s turn, she said when they were downstairs before the platform rose up earlier, the Kero-chan mascot was dancing to Clear and was a pro at it. Apparently it was really cute and she really wished she could’ve recorded it (which reminded me of the Cherryblossom viewing chapter with The Record). Hanae-san’s intro was the funniest to me - he said he had a yakiniku bento for lunch and was super energized for the evening show, lol!

This was where it became apparent that the evening show was the “fun one” of the two: After the yakiniku bento comment, Hanae-san said よろしく (”I’m in your care”) to the audience in Kaito’s voice and made a point to sound “sexy.” Everyone laughed but around the same time Suzuki-san was readjusting herself on her seat cushion and sort of absentmindedly said 気持ちいい (”That feels nice”). As soon as she said that everyone in the audience started laughing super hard because it was so unexpected. She immediately got flustered and apologized and said “No, no no! I meant the chair is really comfortable and soft!! That’s all...!!” and laughed with everyone.

#3) Question Time

“How did you feel about Sakura and Syaoran’s reunion?”

As everyone was seated, the emcee opened up for question time. It started off with the question asking how Tange-san and Kumai-san felt acting out the very first SyaoSaku scene of the new series - the cherryblossom reunion. The question showed up on the monitor and then they played a clip of the scene (and said that the clip was only played at the evening show - slightly different from earlier).

Tange-san said she was shy about it from the very beginning when she had to record it. Kumai-san mentioned that during the recording session, she was nothing but happy with how it was written and how they performed it. However, having the scene itself played in front of SO MANY people that day was embarrassing.

The cast on a whole then examined Sakura and Syaoran’s dialogue in that scene. The main part they looked at was when Sakura said she had so many things to tell Syaoran, and he reciprocated that he did too. They the looked at the following exchange in particular:

Sakura: 教えてね！全部！(”Tell me everything!” - The word 教える can be translated as either “Tell” or “Teach” meaning-wise) Syaoran: ああ。(”Yeah.”)

Ogata-san out of NO WHERE, turns to Kumai-san and goes “So I’ve gotta ask, but... What do you mean by 'Yeah' in response to 'I will teach you everything'? What is this 'EVERYTHING' you’re gunna teach her?” The cast and audience lost it again laughing.

Kumai-san got shy and couldn’t answer fully, but goes "Well uh... yeah... you'll have to ask that to CLAMP..." and the cast reminded us again that because we we’re at the evening event they were being goofy and making suggestive jokes like this that they couldn’t at the more “family oriented” afternoon event.

“Tomoyo records lots of personal moments.”

The next scene they examined was where Tomoyo appeared in the SxS scene above recording their reunion, and then in their date episode just before they entered the aquarium (the “This is my best shot!” scene).

The question this time was directed at Iwao-san, asking if she thought that Tomoyo’s recording sessions were growing in scale and becoming more extensive. She replied that “Yes, they are. It’s because (she sees) the love growing (between Sakura and Syaoran) and wants to capture it along with their happiest moments.”

I think it was Ogata-san who jumped back in saying something along the lines of “I wonder just HOW MUCH (of their love) you’ll get to record, heh heh heh...” and everyone lost it again. I was kind of surprised at how much they were implying, haha!

“Have Kero and Touya finally acknowledged Syaoran?”

The next question was whether or not Kero and Touya finally recognize Syaoran as someone who is an ally and cares about Sakura. They played clips of the scene where Kero and Tomoyo were skyping during the date episode, and during the “ruined date” scene where Syaoran retrieved the soggy bento and Touya looked at him and sighed.

Hisakawa-san said that before, Kero would always say things like “You wanna go, brat!?” and try to pick fights with him, but now whenever he says “brat” there’s some love and affection in it. They went on to say that Touya has also started to recognize him a bit and that neither he nor Kero do as much as they used to in protecting Sakura anymore. I read this as meaning it’s not that they don’t want to, but they realize that they have extra help in Syaoran now.

They said that Yukito, Yue, and Touya don’t do as much anymore, but Tange-san said that no matter what everyone helps "Sakura” and that makes her happy. But the reason they don’t do as much now is because “Sakura” has grown up and is more adult.

Something interesting got brought up here with regards to the voice recording sessions - the scenes are recorded in A and B parts separately. Meaning that some of the cast who are in scenes together will record their lines, but don’t know what happened with the other casts’ parts in previous or simultaneously occurring scenes.

Ogata-san said that sometimes when recording their B part, they say to each other “Jeez, what on earth did they do in the A part!?”. It then got brought up that they are close to the end of recording for the anime and they sort of gave the impression they know how things will be finishing up. It was not clear and they avoided mentioning if this “wrap up” was just for the “season” or if there would be any more series to follow.

“Have Syaoran’s techniques stopped working?”

The next clip was from Episode 12 where they caught the Hail card. It was when Syaoran’s fire technique didn’t work and he had to use his other “secret” power to stop the card.

They asked Kumai-san what exactly it was that happened there, but she replied that it’s too much of a spoiler and that they’re not really sure themselves. It seemed like maybe the cast DOES know and just can’t say it because of non-disclosure.

When she was asked, she simply said “I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to say... but I think we have like 3-4 episodes left to record?” Tange-san jumped in signaling "Nooo!” with her arms and corrected Kumai-san saying that they had “several” episodes more to go at that point.

“Is Yue an “Agokui” Type?”

[顎クイ “Agokui”: Suddenly lifting someone’s face by their chin in an aggressive, yet sometimes romantic fashion]

Ogata-san talked about how she has played many "cool type / handsome guy” characters in the past. They then played the scene where Yue says to Sakura “Tell me anything that happens, even if it’s something small” and touches her chin.

She said that during this scene and others, she was just acting it out naturally and how she thought would be a normal back-and-forth between them. However, some of the lines that would just come out without thinking were deemed as not appropriate by the directors. She said that the way she acted the lines came out naturally because as a woman acting out a male role, she was just saying what seemed appropriate and not thinking of what “male feelings” might be like in this situation.

For example, at the end of one of the Facetime/Skype sessions with Sakura, she would say おやすみ (”Goodnight”) as Yue. After about 2 or so times of this, the directors pulled her aside and commented that “It’s a little suggestive saying ‘goodnight’ like that to a middle schooler...”

As such, she had to tweak how she replied in that scene. She went on to say that she talked about it with Tomokazu Seki (Touya) as well on how they needed to act in certain scenes.

Apparently even at the Sakura Fes event, the staff was instructed not to ad-lib dialog anymore. Hisakawa-san had done it at last year’s event and they were warned not to do it as much this year, but overall ad-libbing was too much fun and it’s something the audience audience enjoyed, so it couldn’t be helped.

“Who are the new characters?”

The next topic up was the new characters: Akiho and Kaito. The scenes they played were Akiho’s self-introduction at the school and her competing against Syaoran in badminton. They also showed the scene where Sakura and Tomoyo come over to her house and meet Kaito for the first time.

Suzuki-san and Hanae-san talked about how it felt to record their lines. Suzuki-san in particular said that during the badminton scene, Kumai-san helped her match up the timing by playing air badminton with her in the recording booth.

They also talked about how Hanae-san constantly keeps reassuring everyone Kaito’s not a suspicious guy. He said everyone suspects him and that the cast had asked everyone at the afternoon event what their opinions were. Everyone reacted that they think he’s definitely shady.

Suzuki-san said that even SHE thought that and when she was acting out Akiho’s lines, the directors told her she had too much doubt in her voice. The instructed her to reassess and act her lines out in a more Akiho-like way - that she loves him and thinks he’s a really good person, even if Suzuki-san herself doesn’t think that.

Hanae-san chimed back in and emphatically goes “But I am a good person!!!” and tried to convince everyone again.

“The new Key, new Magic Spell, and new Wand...!?”

The last scene they put up on the monitors was Sakura releasing the new key into the sealing staff and using her new spell. Cue a shameless plug for the new Takara Tomy Clear Card wand toy that has voice recordings from Tange-san.

The cast collectively was like “YES, TAKARA TOMY EVERYONE. OF COURSE” and I got the impression they were a bit sarcastic like they had to advertise it as part of their job, but were a little like “Yeah, we know this isn’t what you’re here for, lol.”

They brought out the wand and had Tange-san use it. She asked the audience to say the “Release!” chant along with her and said if we did that maybe some magic would happen. When we all said “Release!” together, the stage platform opened up again. She asked us to help her seal the stage back up and everyone repeated the sealing chant together. Upon shouting “Secure!”, the stage went back to normal.

After this, the emcee made the annoucement for the “Sakura Hoeeee” Mori Arts Center Gallery Exhibition in Roppongi Hills later this year in October. They asked everyone to please look forward to the event.

Apparently, this is where the live stream ended for the afternoon event, though there was no live stream for the evening event.

#4) Live Cast Voice Acting Performance

Now it was time for a live voice performance from the cast. The emcee explained that the story would be how Sakura and her friends spend Easter Sunday (that very day). What surprised me the most for this was that for the sake of the performance, all of the characters seemed to know each other and of each other’s existence. This meant that Kero was interacting in scenes with Akiho and Kaito.

Sakura spoke first and was humming along while doing something in the kitchen. Tomoyo chimed in asking what she was up to. Sakura replied that she and Akiho were making eggs/omelettes because that’s what’s done on Easter.

Akiho said she wasn’t good at cooking, but wanted to try her best. On hearing this, Tomoyo said that she wanted to record them cooking and Sakura gave a loud “Hoeee..."

Sakura asked Akiho to go and get the eggs out of the fridge, but when Akiho opened it they were no where to be found. Everyone panicked a little bit, but then Kero appeared. He said “Well did you know that on Easter people like to hide eggs! So all we need to do is go find them.”

Kaito said “Let’s go look" and Yukito agreed with him. The whole group then traveled all over the world looking for the eggs! They ended up in a strange place... EASTER ISLAND!

Syaoran remarked saying “What is this place?” when they saw the monoliths on the island, so Kaito jumped in explaining that these were the Moai of Easter Island. Kero then explained that the Moai were mysterious carved figures shrouded in mystery.

But the group couldn’t find any eggs on the island, so they moved on. The next place they appeared was somewhere they initially thought must be “far away” from Japan. They thought that it must be overseas, but then found it out it was the “Land of Dreams” - AKA Disneyland right next door! They decided to split up and look for the eggs.

Sakura and Syaoran were paired off and while looking around and each found a matching egg. Their eggs’ image was shown on the monitor and were green with pink designs. Together they made a pair.

Syaoran once again saw some helpless foreign tourists and whipped out his English skills again. (Kumai-san has really mastered the “Do you need any help?” line lmao). He also said “The cat is in Disney Sea” in English. Sakura went CRAZY about the English and was like “Syaoran-kun, what did you say!?” so Syaoran ad-libbed and said “Ahh… well if I do a direct translation… I said 'There’s a cat in the Land of Dreams” (which was a reference to Geratoni - a plush stuffed cat of Tokyo Disney’s Duffy & Friends collection.)

Sakura was impressed and begged him to teach her English again. They had basically the same exchange as the date episode and he said “I'll try, but I don’t know if I can teach you anything useful...” to which she responded that she already remembered the word for “cat” so it was okay. As always, Tomoyo suddenly popped out of nowhere recording them and they got embarrassed.

The scene switched to Kero and... Yue! Yue was in full form and searching for eggs too! He said he could search better in this form and was doing it to assist his mistress. Kero remarked that “Well it's true that in Disneyland, people will just think you’re cosplaying someone, so I guess it’s fine. But wait! I should be in my true form too! I will change now into my--”

Yue cuts him off saying “Don’t you dare! If you do, you'll draw too much attention and you'll get petted and hugged and kicked by all of the children here!!” Kero was like “Ahh... oh man... you’re right... Maaan, but I would look so cool if I did!!”

The scene changed again, this time to Akiho and Kaito. They were searching for eggs on their own and she thanked him for helping her. Kaito said that he was “just happy that you seem to be having a good time with everyone.” All of the sudden they both stopped and said “What on earth is that??”

Akiho and Kaito had discovered the BIG GIANT EGG...

While the cast had been performing, a larger than life egg shaped... thing(!!) had risen up out of the rising platform floor again.

Everyone approached the egg and were like “Whoa! You could make a HUGE omelette with this!” However, the egg was so big that they couldn’t take it back home. So Kero said "Well one thing that is done on Easter is egg decorating! We should all decorate it...”

Then they temporarily stopped the voice acting session and the whole cast moved up to the egg. It turns out that it was a giant egg shaped whiteboard. Right next to it on the platform was a cart with lots of markers, cherryblossom petal shaped stickers, and decorative balled up tissue paper. The emcee explained the cast were going to be given 3 minutes to decorate the egg and the started playing a little tune while we watched them bustle about. But in the end they had so much fun that they went a bit over time!

One of them dropped their mic during the decorating session, but I couldn’t see who it was. Everyone jumped though, haha.

Hisakawa-san and Tange-san drew two Suppie faces: One was regular Suppie, and one was “evil Suppie.” They said that without knowing it, they had both drawn Kero at the afternoon session, so during the break between the two they decided to do Suppie for the evening session.

The cast drew a Momo, a random crab using cherryblossom petals for claws, happy faces, a cherryblossom tree, and a panda. But the best part was that they also wrote a few inappropriate things!

Hanae-san wrote 真実の愛 (“True love”) and Suzuki-san wrote right beneath it 夜だから (“Because it’s night time”). And - echoing what she’d said earlier about how saying “goodnight” was inappropriate - Ogata-san wrote おやすみ (“Goodnight”) in really big letters.

Regarding the panda, Hanae-san said he drew it because he was wearing a panda pin. Everyone had asked him at lunch why he was wearing that and the reason was really cute. He said he was confused about what Easter was and thought that it was a holiday where any animals would be appropriate, so he wore a panda instead of a rabbit.

After that, they all returned to the main stage to resume the voice acting performance. A staff member wheeled the egg off and put it on the side of the stage.

Sakura and her friends were all happy as they finished decorating the egg. I think Syaoran said “Where do you even display an egg this big?” but no one knew the answer.

Then Kero said part of the Easter tradition was that God would choose whichever designed egg was the best and grant the person who designed it a wish. That wish would come true. Everyone reacted saying “Oh wow, really???” (I was sitting there thinking thinking “wtf that doesn’t sound right...”), but then Yukito spoke up saying “I’ve never heard that.” Kaito joined in saying the same thing.

Kero laughed nervously and said “Ahaha... I’ve been found out...” indicating he had made it all up. Tomoyo said he was just like Yamazaki lying to them like that. But in the end, they all had a nice time decorating the egg and doing the Easter egg hunt.

(I don’t fully remember how this came about, but) there was a part where Yukito said to Sakura that she was very adorable and she reacted by saying “Hanya--n!!” (I was hoping Syaoran would react somehow, but he didn’t so I guess he is very secure with their relationship now ♡). They then said they should take a photo with the egg to commemorate the day.

There was a pause again in the session and the emcee announced that the cast would be taking a photo with the audience from the stage. Since it was a huge amphitheater, they were taking 3 or so shots - left, center, and right side of the seating area. They said that anyone who was shy and didn’t want to be in the photo could cover up their face.

Center stage was first, then the left side, then the right side. After that, they finished up the voice acting portion of the night:

The scene changed back to the Kinomoto residence. Everyone had gone home for the evening and it was just Sakura and Kero.

Sakura said there had been a lot of tough things that happened earlier, but that it had been a fun day. She said “Oh, I even forgot we were supposed to make eggs today!”

Kero replied saying “What? You couldn’t find the eggs? But, I’d taken them out of the fridge earlier and I put them back...”

Sakura raised her voice and said “WHAT!?” and Kero replied “Yeah, they’re right here...” revealing that they’d been hidden in the fridge the whole time.

Sakura then ad-libbed in Kansai-ben and said ケロちゃん！！！なんでやねん！？！(“Kero-chan, what the hell!?”)

The cast finished up at that point and thanked everyone for watching. Then they said “You gave us an Easter photo together with you, so we will give you a present also!”

Suddenly, tons of paper stickers/notes from the cast began falling from the ceiling! I think they were egg shaped, but it was hard to tell because I was in the very back. They fell into the audience and a few lucky people got them. Some people rushed out of their seats to get the ones that had fallen into the aisles.

Some of the “gifts” fell onto the stage too, so Ogata-san and Tange-san helped pick them up and give them out to people in the audience. Ogata-san was really awesome and shouted out “Are there any little Sakura-chans in here!?” and called for any kids present to come up and get the stickers. One very happy little girl came running up and received one directly from Ogata-san. After that, she asked if there was anyone present who had been at both the afternoon and evening performances (I think there might have been a couple people).

After handing the remaining gifts out, all of the seiyuu thanked the audience again and left the stage together.

#5) Live Musical Performances

Maaya Sakamoto

Next, they introduced a special video message from Maaya Sakamoto on screen, who unfortunately couldn’t be at the event because it overlapped with her own international tour dates. In the message, she said she was so happy to sing “Clear” as the theme song.

The show runners gave her the theme of “clear things” for her to use for direction when writing her song. She explained that the word “clear” has multiple meanings: “transparent” or "definite and precise” or "to succeed with a goal”, so she wanted to write a song with all of these meanings rolled into one.

She let us know that she was so happy to be part of CCS again and although she wasn’t there, her colleague Saori Hayami was and would be joining us as the representative today.

Saori Hayami

The emcee came out with Hayami-san and said that as the second half of the season would be starting the next week, it was time to pass the baton over to the new OP and ED singers.

Hayami-san explained that everyone has little things that shine in their hearts and are like “Jewelry of the Heart.” After her explanation, she gave a live performance of the “Jewelry” ED.

To be honest (and I hate to say this), but I didn’t think that Hayami-san was very energetic in her performance. She seemed a little lacking in enthusiasm and just walked one circle around the stage, but as always the song itself was very nice.

While she performed, they played clips of the anime on the screen and showed the Jewelry ED clips as well. At the very, very end, they FINALLY revealed what Sakura had seen on her smartphone at the end of the ED (where she’s showing Tomoyo and Kero and they all smile): It was the “photo” they just took earlier that day on April 1st -- the official artwork for Sakura Fes this year.

The text message she had gotten read “Thank you for taking a photo with us!”

When the performance ended, the emcee came back out and thanked her. She reiterated that they were “passing the baton from next week.”

Kiyono Yasuno

Kiyono Yasuno and Minori Suzuki came out on stage. Suzuki-san had changed her clothes from earlier to red outfit and yellow shoes. The emcee introduced each of them and they talked about CCS and what they liked about it.

Yasuno-san said she’s watched CCS for a really long time. The very first time was when she was really young and her grandpa watched it with her. To her, it was like a dream being chosen to sing the new OP and that this was her first single.

The emcee asked who they thought was “cool / good-looking” from the series. Hayami-san said that she thought Yukito and Eriol were attractive. Yasuno-san had watched the CCS syndication in elementary school too and was the same age as Sakura through it. Because of that, she thought Syaoran was the coolest guy. Suzuki-san also thought the same.

Hayami-san then “passed the baton” and they left the stage to let Yasuno-san perform Rocket Beat.

It was my first time (and all of the audience’s too) to hear Rocket Beat and right away I thought it was an awesome song. It really seemed fitting for CCS. In addition, Yasuno-san was super energetic and gave a very spirited performance. She was actively all over the stage. As before, her performance was also synced up with scenes from recent anime episodes.

When she finished, Suzuki-san came back on stage and the figuratively “passed the baton” again.

Minori Suzuki

Suzuki-san is in charge of the new ED “Rewind” and also gave a really awesome performance. The song was super cute and (as everyone knows by now) clock themed.

She did motions of the clock while performing, syncing up with the “Tick Tock, Tick Tock” lyrics. More clips from the series played, but nothing new to that point.

#6) Closing Out the Event

When Suzuki-san finished her song, the whole cast came back out on stage. The staff then wheeled out a birthday cake again in front of Tange-san - just like last year. Once again, the audience sang Happy Birthday to Sakura and Tange-san blew out the candles.

They talked about what birthday this would be for Sakura, and Tange-san confirmed that this would be Sakura’s 13th birthday. She then said “These past 20 years – Ahhh! I mean... it’s been 20 years but Sakura’s not 20! She’s definitely 13!” and laughed.

They showed an image of the cake on screen and it was the one that was currently being sold by Animate. They then said it was time to close out the event and the audience started groaning, so the emcee had to apologize for how “short” the event was.

Everyone said their goodbyes, starting with Yasuno-san. She said it was a dream come true to sing the theme song for an anime she had loved so much as a child and that exactly one year ago on April 1st she had started her singing career. She promoted her first single (a mini album came out just before this).

Hayami-san said her Thank You’s next for everyone enjoying Jewelry.

Hanae-san was third, saying “I will do my best, and from here on it’s going to be Akiho Akiho Akiho taking center stage!”

In response, Suzuki-san said “I will do my best and so will Kaito-san! I’ve loved this anime so much! Last year at this time, I was wondering ‘who is going to play Akiho’ and never thought that it would be me!!” She said she feels so lucky to be both a seiyuu and the singer of the second ED for the series.

Ogata-san was next, but was caught off guard and sort of spaced out. But she said thank you to everyone for all their support. She said that at last year’s Sakura Fes, they found out really soon after it ended there would be another one this year. So she shouted out to all of us “that means THERE SHOULD BE ANOTHER ONE NEXT YEAR RIGHT (EVENT SPONSORS)??”. She said that even in this industry, it’s super rare for the whole cast to come back for a show’s reboot and that really demonstrates how beloved CCS is.

She passed the mic to Kumai-san - who was also spaced out and wasn’t paying attention again. But she also said thank you to everyone.

Next was Iwao-san who said thank you and did a mini-voice over of Tomoyo saying 超絶によかったですわ！(“It was absolutely fantastic!”).

Hisakawa-san was next, and like Ogata-san, she said that last year she got a call about a week or so after Sakura Fes ended asking her to save the date for this one. She said “I mean, after today, I’m sure that just a few days will pass and then I'm sure I'll get another call… Hahaha! You guys want another one right!?” and everyone cheered.

Finally, it was Tange-san’s turn and she said they almost made it through the whole thing without a "Kero-chan Check.” At last year’s event, they always seemed to come out of nowhere and no one ever knew when to expect it. She begged Hisakawa-san to do one and Hisakawa-san laughed. She got a bit shy and was like “For real???” but in the end shouted “KERO-CHAN CHEEECK!” as Kero. Tange-san then thanked everyone for their support and for loving Cardcaptor Sakura. She hopes everyone will continue to love it in the future and bowed.

The cast came out into the circle stage to say one final goodbye and then they waved and departed the stage from both sides of the main stage. The emcee left last after deep bow. The Jewelry ED came on the big screen and played through to the end.

After the song finished, the Kero and Suppie mascots once again rose out of the platform floor. BOTH of them were wearing rabbit ears this time. Kero-chan started to talk about how awesome it was that he grew another pair of ears too.

Suppie had a new card this time that read “Just say what you have to say!” so Kero started talking at super-sonic speed thanking the cast and staff in batches:

The singers

The companies that made it possible

The seiyuu

And said thanks to all of us for watching him be awesome every week

He said to tune in next week for the start of the second half of the season, and also to keep watching him be so awesome in the Kero-chan’s Corner segments. Suppie violently shook the sign!! lol!

Then gave one last “thank you” to the audience and brought the event to a close, saying “We definitely kicked up even more of a fuss than ‘some place’ that’s right next door” (again, Tokyo Disney lol).

The platform lowered, bringing them back down underneath the stage, and just as they disappeared there was another final “Kero-chan cheeeeck!” shouted. The lights went off and then came back on with the ending announcements.

As I was leaving, I made a friend who was a big fan of Suzuki-san from when she was in Macross and had only just recently started watching CCS because of her. This fan had only seen Clear Card Arc so far, so I said to definitely watch the rest of the series!

I hope if there’s another Sakura Fes next year, I’ll have the chance to go again. :)

以上、さくらフェス2018の報告でした！(That’s all folks!)

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura clear card arc #card captor sakura clear card arc #clear card arc #sakura festa 2018 #sakura fest 2018 #sakura fes 2018 #sakura festival 2018 #sakura tange #junko iwao #aya hisakawa #motoko kumai #megumi ogata #minori suzuki #natsuki hanae #maaya sakamoto #saori hayami #kiyono yasuno

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fromedcns-blog · 6 years

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* medalion rahimi, age 24, she/her | oh, them? that’s ghalia majid. they’ve lived in carina bay for, like, twenty four years. last time i spoke to them they were a sports journalist, and if i remember correctly, they’re a cancer. seeing them around always makes me think of keys clicking away on a keyboard, floral printed skirts and birds chirping in the morning. ( lissa, 21, est, she/her )

hey guys it me lmao i’m so excited to bring ghalia here, i’ve been playing her for a while now and love her a lot so i hope u guys do too cus i love it here and i think/hope she’ll fit in great!! this whole intro post is pretty much taken from a bio i wrote for her i just kinda cut it up and added some new things to switch it up so here ya go!!

ghalia is always set out to do the right thing and she’s definitely a #momfriend type. making sure her friends and everyone around her is ok or asking if they need anything/being concerned is a huge part of her personality.. even if it can be overbearing at times. she sees the world in a positive light rather than the much more realistic hell hole it can be. sometimes this can make her seem naive, but she’s just someone who finds it more beneficial to see the good side of things.

she can be kinda nosy and annoying like … no joke about that. she loves taking care of people but she can also be kinda invasive and too In Your Face about it without even realizing. she absolutely means well but sometimes doesn’t see herself crossing a line until it’s too late

she’s also quite ambitious and believes that people can achieve anything they want to (motivational speaker much?) she always has her sights set on something bigger than herself and for the most part, she feels like her potential has no limits. she thrives off of opportunity and optimism even if she lives in her head a lot, and even if what’s brewing in her head really makes no sense or has no possibility of ever happening. she looks at life as en empty canvas, just waiting for her to fill it with her thoughts and desires but as most things are, it’s easier said than done.

this doesn’t stop her from wanting the greatest life she could possibly have, but she has high expectations for herself and doesn’t want to fall short of them. with this kind of personality, it may seem like she’s isolating herself from others when she has her mind set on something, but she’s an extrovert through and through and loves people, but sometimes has a hard time bursting out of the dream space in her head.

she’s been this way since she was a child. her parents are both immigrants, they came to american from tehran, iran in the 80s and created a new life themselves and worked to make sure their children had better opportunities growing up. they ended up in new york at first for their careers (her mom is a teacher, her dad is a professional photographer and he teaches lessons at a studio) and eventually settled in carina bay before ghalia was born because it seemed like a great place to raise a family. ghalia looks up to them like no one else, she admires their courage and their strength and their tenacity to never settle for less than what they deserve. so it’s because of them, not just blind hope, that ghalia reaches for the even beyond the stars and keeps reaching even when her arms can’t go anymore.

although she’s a bright and spirited person who always wants to do right by others, that also causes ghalia to have a number of downfalls that all add up and can create quite a monster of an emotional mess. she’s stubborn and a special kind of reckless; feels embarrassed admitting she failed at something she put all her effort into even when the horizon that is the finish line really wasn’t as close as she thought. disappointment is her enemy yet she comes face to face with it often, usually from her own doing. she wants to know everything all the time, her curious mind wanders and wanders until it finds trouble she never knew existed. when she drills too hard into conversation and hits sore spots and doesn’t realize it until she’s made everyone around her uncomfortable– she wants to be open with people, when it’s not always possible. not everyone can relate to the positivity she thrives on and that frustrates her sometimes.

other tidbits/fun facts:

ghalia has always been interested in writing and photography (something she got from her dad), the two have been her main creative outlet growing up. she majored in journalism at wake forest university and decided to focus on sports as she grew into her career path and works for a local newspaper covering mostly soccer through the nc courage and north carolina fc!

she played soccer growing up and into highschool and thought she might continue into college but honestly she wasn’t THAT good and decided the sidelines were better suited for her anyways where she could help behind the scenes and volunteered wherever they needed her and she was also the team photographer for a while

((listen i’m a huge sports nerd so why not live vicariously through her lolol))

she’s a very talkative, very social ‘lil thing. she’s always been that kind of kid in school who got moved for talking to the person sitting her, but she was also that person who talked and talked no matter if her neighbor was a stranger or not. that gets her into trouble sometimes. she can be overwhelming when having conversations, she always has a million things to say and usually not enough time to say it. also, not everyone always wants to hear the oh so thrilling details about her walk back to her apartment yesterday, but she’d swear on her life that you *need* to hear about the squirrel that followed her the entire way. bottom line is, she loves to talk but needs to be told to shut up every once in a while. it’s only for her own good.

she’s a lesbian and very into girls although she’s kinda shy about dating and has only been in one serious relationship

besides her main passions/hobbies being photography and writing, ghalia also enjoys nature, staying up late reading wiki articles on conspiracy theories, watching paranormal story time videos on youtube at 4 am, and she also wants to learn as many languages as she can. for now, she can speak conversational farsi, the language that, outside of english, is the main language her family speaks, and it’s important to her that she’s able to keep in touch with her relatives still living in iran. she’s not so great at writing it quite yet but she’s working on it. she’s not too bad at speaking spanish, she took several years of classes ever since middle school and falls in and out of practicing it currently. she’s attempted french and german, but only got as far as a couple activities on duolingo before her attention got dragged to her next project. one day she’ll be fluent in them all, one day.

her family is her heart, she’ll defend them until the day she dies and longer, they’re her lifeline and especially her brother, reza majid, who’s 5 years younger and the apple of ghalia’s eye. she has a protective nature about her and that’s due in part to how much she loves her family and little brother, and only wants the best for them, and she feels that way about everyone she cares about.

some connection ideas i just thought of!!!

childhood friends - from like age 4 or something like weeee lil things since ghalia has lived here her whole life, that’d be cute

roommates - it’d be fun if they got along really well and were friends beforehand we love a cute roommate connection

coworkers - from the local paper she works at mayhaps??

former teammates / college friends - ik wake forest is very specific but it could also be friends/teammates from high school or something like that :^)

i’d also love some kinda former relationship?? i imagine her to only have ever been in one real serious relationship, maybe kinda recently or something and it was a big deal and had a big impact on ghalia and maybe there’s lingering feelings or unresolved feelings, idk!!! we could work it out!!

id LUV a ride or die friend or multiple

also maybe someone who can’t stand ghalia bc she’s nosy and annoying

i don’t know im going out to dinner soon with my fam so i haven’t thought much more about plots but i’m open to all and any ideas! if anyone wants to chat on discord feel free to hmu there @ #lissa7602 or here in the IMs!!! <3333

#carinaintro #HI again #i gotta run but i wanted to post this before i left #i hope it all makes sense <333

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greatonpaperblog · 4 years

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Too little? Too late?

Ok guys - so here’s the thing. When I started this blog, my main intent was to talk specifically about dating and the weird shit that I come up against. I realize, though, that this blog has become about a few more things than just dating. Realistically, I think I've been able to work through some things while writing this weekly blurb - so thank you for tagging along for the ride. My main goal with GreatOnPaper is to eventually get some content from my readers. Experiences you have - bad dates you’ve been on - maybe a perspective from some of you that are not dating. I think there are some pretty cool avenues that we could go down and in the end, it could just be a happy place for us all. I have a LOT to share - but I also want this to be a place where you can share too! I’m always open to ideas, comments, stories.. you name it. Shoot me an email at [email protected] and lets make it happen. Tonight, I do have a dating story for you. It’s extremely recent.. and I tossed it back and forth all day.. should I talk about it? Is it too soon? Does it make me seem like an asshole? I have pretty much concluded that the answer is yes to most of those.. but when I embarked on this journey I promised myself that if nothing else, I would be honest. So here I am.

I swiped right on a profile a week or two ago that I found particularly interesting. One of the biggest things for me is actually being able to discover people in my general vicinity that I would want to date. I’ve swiped right on profiles of people 2-3 hours away and have had great conversation but realistically I'm not looking for a penpal when it comes to dating. I had one of those in grade 6 and I couldn’t keep up with it then, ya know? If I’m going to venture into this weird world - I want to do it in person. Hiding who I am just doesn't work for me. I’m finally in a place where I really like who I am and all the shit that comes with it.

So this guy was relatively close in proximity, smart, very talkative and it was going well. I’d like to point out that this guy IS a good guy. But you’ll see what I'm getting at in a minute. As we continued to chat for a few days, I learned more about him, He worked at home for an online company doing optimization stuff. It was actually pretty cool to learn about it because I for one never really understood the logistics of an internet search and how shit just appears. He talked about how he did some online gaming - also a world of which I am not exposed to. I know nothing about gaming on the internet. HOWEVER - that stuff DOES interest me. It’s such a huge part of the world that I'm really not tapped into with millions of people taking part daily. I may not be a gamer of any sort.. unless you count online scrabble.. but goddamn, I wanted to know the deal. Im a good sport. About a week in - he asked to hang out. This week landed on my week from hell (see last week’s post) and I had to wait it out a tiny bit - I was in no place to meet a new person. But - he’s a good dude, understood, and we scheduled something for THIS week, My weeks are pretty work inclusive. I don’t do much outside of work, errands and sleep from Tuesday/Saturday. It’s not that I can’t. Thats just my usual routine. He was pretty adamant that he could be free any night, so we picked Thursday. On a first hang out - I always plan something that can’t last too long. He knew I went to bed early-ish, that I had worked all day.. but I was down to hang for an hour or two. So, he made his way to my place where we planned to just hang out, have a chat and get to know each other, It was all good. He arrived, we went through the basics of my dog barking and needing to inspect him. Then we went through the logistics of the cats who would eventually do their inspections as well. They’re kind of icebreakers for me. It works out well. Upon first impression I thought - hrm. Is this guy shy? He’s not much of a talker which is weird because.. he’s really big on texting and conversation. First meetings are always weird though, so I gave it the benefit of the doubt. About an hour in, I was out of questions to ask to get very short answers to. I mentioned the notifications of his phone blowing up to which he responded it was his thread with his gaming friends.. pretty much the only people he talked to. I don’t know why, but I wasn't prepared for that. The only people you talk to are online? Whaaaaat? I’m pretty sure I jokingly said something like that - to which he responded that he lived his life online. For work, and outside of work - 99% of that time was spent behind a computer screen. That was his social life and that's what he enjoyed. It took me a minute to think about the right thing to say. I mean.. I can totally understand someone enjoying online gaming etc.. but to have that as your only social interaction? I’m not sure that would fit in my life. I LOVE alone time, but I also very much miss and enjoy being social outside of work and my home life. I love spending time with friends, meeting new people... and a very large part of my professional life is social. We’ve kind of fizzled since the meeting. It went on too long and I eventually had to say “Ok...well, I should probably call it a night” awkwardly in my own home because the social cue of.. “we kind of have nothing to talk about” wasn't working. (I mean.. how could it if you are never in a situation to be socially cued?). A nice enough guy, who really enjoys his life the way it is.. but not at all compatible with mine. I had a DAY of thinking.. ok, Laura.. you’re too fucking picky. But, once I verbalized the date to a few friends I realized that I absolutely wasn’t. His happiness and mine were not within the same realm of each other. It’s been a few days and I've been thinking of the extent of my life on the internet.. I blog, I social media.. etc. But there was a time where I was proud mom to a NeoPet. Proud until the inevitable neglect and death of my digital creation. I’m not cut out for the digital world full time, I guess. But hey - I tried. See ya next Monday!

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knightofameris · 4 years

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Hello! I hope you are doing well! I would like to request both a haikyuu!! ship and a mha ship is that’s alright(if you can’t do both don’t worry about it 😊). I am a girl I would prefer to be shipped with males atm. I’m pretty creative and I love art and reading, but in general I just really love learning as much as I possibly can, especially in areas of science and math. I tend to be in my own world most of the time and can be pretty space-y. Also my Meyers-Briggs type is INTP. Thank you!! ✨

match ups are closed! check match up statuses on my pinned post because they’ll change!

hiiii sorry for the wait! I’ll do both but they might be a bit short, I feel bad for making you wait but like I said in my last ship I just posted a long while ago... I feel kinda bad because inspiration/motivation didn’t really hit? But i hope you still enjoy it nonetheless!

For Haikyuu: I ship you with oikawa tooru!

Why you two work well!!

So for one thing I think you guys would work well because based on the fact that you have that thirst of knowledge and you’re an INTP makes it a pretty nice-ish pairing with Oikawa? Okay this is whack but hear me out lol, despite the fact that most INTP’s are very shy and they’re not one to put themselves out there for a relationship, I think you’d probably have something intriguing enough for someone like Oikawa, who spends most of his time with volleyball, to seek you out. When you guys are dating, I think there will come a mutual understanding that Oikawa loves volleyball but you’re able to be communicative with him aboutyour needs and wants out of a relationship. It also says on the INTP page LOL, that those crazy romantic gestures are unimportant for those with the INTP personality type, so it works out that Oikawa may not always have the time for that anyway. Of course, you’d still have some extravagent date nights every now and then but I think it just works with how busy Oikawa is but you’re also understanding and would want to support him. Plus even you have your own goals and ya know, you both support each other.

how you two get together

so this may be on the shorter side

but i like to think that mayhaps you were in the library trying to find some booksto read

for this time particularly, you wanted to look into astronomy

ah but there’s these other two guys there too

one who’s trying to talk about finding books on alien sightings

and the other who keeps calling him “shittykawa”

this happens for a while

the three of you guys just are always in the same area

there was never really an excuse for either of them to talk to you

but you did find one of the attractive (oikawa)

however you did realize that that was the pretty boy heartthrob of Aoba Johsai

even if you didn’t go to his school

so you definitely didn’t want to get caught up with the likes of him. who wants to get their heart broken anyway?

but one of those times you’re at the library, there’s a book that the two of you happen to go for at the same time (you notice his other friend isn’t there)

you simply offer it to him and say that you’ll read something else

but he shakes his head and with that award winning smile of his he just says “let’s read it together.” he kinda trying to be a flirt lmaaaooo

the two of you introduce yourself to each other

and once you’re both done with the book and you have to head home he walks with you to the train station

it sorta becomes tradition

and it’s how you get to know him beyond his uh pretty boy heartthrob personality that people talk about

of course you were wary at first

but when he started nerding out about volleyball and aliens being real

yeah, no, he’s a bit of a loser

you guys get really close after that and it’s because of how you’re supportive of his volleyball endeavors (not so much for his “aliens are real endeavors”) and yet still caring, that you kinda stand out

you met iwaizumi because of him and it’s also because of iwaizumi that you found out oikawa pushes himself too hard

so you do an accumulation of small things to remind oikwaa to take care of himself

that he can’t become the best if he doesn’t

you become one of the special people in his life, and he doesn’t have a lot of special people either

but then he’s like shit

you’re a different kind of special

so he spends a little bit more time with you because, as he says it, “it’s either i hang out with you, or i overwork myself practicing. and i don’t want to hang out with iwa-chan cus he’s just mean”

i mean it makes sense though and maybe you want to think it’s cus he likes you but you don’t want to bet on that. don’t want your heart broke

but it’s on one of the nights that you guys are hanging out, doing something simple maybe just hanging in his room and he’s watching some volleyball games while you’re practicing some sketches in your sketchbook

he becomes ever so slightly more vulnerable with you

talks about his plans for the future after high school

and to his surprise you’re supportive

even if it means he might be leaving the country

and he impulsively confesses

which kinda surprises you but it works well

but you easily reciprocate said feelings and even when the relationship becomes long distance, it works because you both want it to.

hnngn okay i dont knwo where im going with this anymore LMAO

For BNHA: I ship you with midoriya izuku! and I know I know it’s kinda funny to me too that it’s like oikawa in one and then midoriya in the other BUT I THINK IT WORKS.

why you two work well!!

Deku’s always one to learn about the people around him, ways he can implement how other heroes fight to how he can fight. Deku’s just extremely smart and has to be extremely creative in order to fight using methods from heroes with starkly different quirks from himself. I feel like the two of you would end up talking about what the two of you learned, learning more things from each other, and be able to bounce back and forth. Though, since you are on the more shyer side and Midoriya’s kinda awkward I think once you guys get past that level of awkwardness and you btoh realize how much you have in common you guys become fast friends!

how you got together

so you’re probably in the support department in the same class as Mei Hatsume, 1-H

Although Mei is the one Midoriya had gone to for outfit changes, you were always there and had given more tips as well

Actually, when Midoriya goes back to thank Hatsume for a particularly helpful change on his uniform, Hatsume tells him to thank you instead!

he’s awkward about it but it kinda cute tho ya know

i also think midoriya ends up rambling about other ideas he has for his outfit

you’re sure to give him your two cents but then it ends up being sorta the two of you rambling and bouncing ideas back and forth!

it’s really cute

Hatsume ships it so she does what she can to make sure Midoriya goes to you for uniform repairs/changes from now on

you somettimes eat lunch with him! which means you meet other 1A students

All the 1A girls LOVE you because finally more GIRLS

M*neta tries to make a move on you but the girls are sure to protect you

cue m*neta wondering how Midoriya has a cute girl talking to him

god i hate him stupid diaper baby bleh

anYWAY i think it’s one of those relationships that go from friends to lovers sorta thing

it’s gradual

not sudden

and the two of you sort of ease into a relationship without realizing?

but midoriya gets so flustered when you guys do ease into it

you’re gonna have to be straightforward with him

he definitely causes you a lot of stress and worries

but dont worry! he’ll stay alive if it means he gets to see you again!!

#ameris ships people #Anonymous #✨ anon #im not sure if you were tagging yourself as that #but i did it anyway #SORRY IT'S SO LATE BTW ARHGHFG

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straightfacedstrangeness · 7 years

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(for the ask meme) Akane and/or Kodachi?

*insert Why Not Both meme here*

Akane

sexuality headcanon: Demiromantic bisexual. Tries to keep her interest in girls(/Ranma’s feminine form) quiet generally because heteronormativity, but for a while the “a crowd of guys tries to fight her for her affection every morning” situation had her so soured against men that she thought she might be a lesbian.

otp: Akane/Ranma. They’re just so cute and awkward.

brotp: I love the occasional (OOC) friendshippy moments she gets with Shampoo, Ukyo and Mousse in anime filler, and her side of her relationship with Ryoga (minus his questionable role as P-chan, etc.) is cute, but like, honestly…for brotp…it’s Sasuke. Like, here’s a guy who’s always in the company of (and actively helping) her Least Favorite Person, and she still invites him to her house cus she thought he looked sad. And on his side, her kindness (and her family’s kindness) are probably the main reason he has any sense of self-worth outside his family ninja legacy.

notp: Pretty much any guy that pursues her besides Ranma and Ryoga

first headcanon that pops into my head: I’ve posted this before, but after a point she figured out that Ryoga was P-chan and just kept up the charade to try to boost Ryoga’s self-confidence (”He’s too shy to talk to me as a human, and it’ll just upset him if I tell him I know his secret, so maybe if I’m nice to him as a pig, he’ll feel good about himself and try harder to make friends with people!”) and to mess with Ranma. But she’s very careful not to change clothes in front of P-chan anymore, and tries to suppress the memories of the times she did.

favorite line from this character: *super cute, cheerful voice* “We can even play some really fun games! Like breaking cinder blocks with our bare hands, or punching each other in the stomach!”

one way in which I relate to this character: Every scene with Akane cooking is me in the kitchen (minus the indigestion/instant nausea/etc). Like, my usual approach to a recipe is to ignore half the ingredients cus I don’t like them / don’t have them / am lazy, then I’m confused and frustrated that the result doesn’t taste good, haha

thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: How ready she is to assume the worst about Ranma even when a situation is obviously not his fault or not something he wanted to happen.

cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Cinnamon roll, but like a weirdly spicy cinnamon roll

Kodachi

sexuality headcanon: Heteroromantic gray-a asexual with a dominatrix/bondage kink. She reacts to the groveling, not the person doing the groveling, so the person could really be any gender, but Traditional Values means she only really pursues relationships with cis men. She might change her mind on that later though if she met a really appealing girl/NB-spectrum-person who had a masochistic/submissive kink.

otp: I keep kinda thinking about Kodachi/Mousse? Since they’re both pretty ruthless, morally gray, “I don’t necessarily care if That Person actually loves me so long as I get to be with them”, have similar fighting styles, and Kodachi’s bossy while Mousse seems like he’d be fine with being bossed around.

brotp: Kuno. Not sure how much is manga-canon, but in the anime they have a fun “always fighting but secretly care about each other” sibling dynamic.

notp: Ranma. Drugging and blackmailing are not okay ways to show affection, Kochi

first headcanon that pops into my head: While Kuno’s really elitist and feels like everyday household things are “beneath him” and “best left to the servants”, Kodachi’s such a perfectionist that in her early teens she insisted on mastering cooking, cleaning, etc. just to prove that she could. Kuno is torn between bewilderment and admiration.

favorite line from this character: *aggressively loud ojou-sama laugh*

one way in which I relate to this character: Wants everything to go her way and is offended when it doesn’t

thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: Everything about the way she treats others

cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Problematic sinnamon roll

#question prompt #headcanon #long post #kawaiibunny3 #akane #kodachi #r 1/2

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goaskjordan4-blog · 6 years

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Depression has no face (enjoy my shitty grammar)

When people first meet me there are a few descriptions I fit around the board; outgoing, friendly, strange, creative, funny etc. blah blah blah. From an outsiders perspective it goes hardly noticed that I could suffer from any form of anxiety, depression, or social phobia (if you catch me at the right time of coarse.) In reality, I’ve worked so hard to receive all these titles. Never in my wildest dreams would I think a person who has just met me, or even known me for a substantial amount of time would ever use the word “outgoing” to describe me. Those currently struggling with mental health may have some pre-conceived notions on how others who deal with it carry themselves. It wasn’t long ago to what I would consider to be the shy, awkward, sad, neurotic, anti-social, cookie cutter fit the mold of the ultimate millennial mental health crisis in America. When I went out. I would see these social butterflies and think, damn what I wouldn’t give to have that kind of confidence. In my eyes these kids had everything I never had and everything I ever wanted, Recognition. I remember when I started my first semester at are school I quickly became acquainted with Adriana. This girl was the poster child for social butterfly movement, anyone and everyone could have a conversation with her. Even me! It wasn’t long after we met that she started hanging out with my roommate and I. They hit it off right away (cus… ya know…. Social skills) But I on the other hand had a hard time making a strong connection with her do to my shyness. It wasn’t long after meeting her that was like, “Okay I gotta get to know this bitch better.” Despite the fact that she was fun person, she seemed to have LITERALLY ALL HER SHIT TOGETHER. And I was determined to find out how and where the fuck these people come from. The three of us (Adriana, my roommate and I) were out on campus one day. The roomie had to go back to our place to get some work done, leaving Adriana and I alone to go about our day. This was our first time hanging out one on one, therefore our first chance to have any kind depth conversation. She had to go to the post office to pick some stuff up and offered me to come along. On our walk there our conversation was very forced. Neither of us new each other very well so I scrambled to find some common ground to talk about. A movie, a TV show, Drawing, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, WHATEVER!!! I can’t remember how it started, but the topic of depression came into play. I almost shit a brick when I found out this happy go luck girl struggled practically every single thing that I did, and more. Depression, Anxiety, Suicide, self harm, and more. She had a tough life, and spent a lot of time in forester care. She felt abandoned, worthless, and had a multitude of insecurities. That led me to my next question. How the hell did this girl go throughout her day with all of this weighing down on her shoulders? She couldn’t give me the secret ingredient that I was looking for. The honest truth is everyone has their was of coping, and that was hers. Happy, bubbly, friendly the sun will come out tomorrow, Adriana was a mess, and I wouldn’t have bet bottom dollar in a million fucking years. It just goes to show you. I’m not saying that everyone is like this. Some people wear a smile on their face and in their hearts. It just goes to show you, depression has no face. So the next time you see that kid who looks like they have it made. Keep in mind that you never know what’s going on behind the scenes.

I feel so sad I don’t know how to bare this emotion I want to drink, but I don’t want to feel sick I’m tired of running from this One of my greatest desires in life is to be accepted and desired, maybe not just that but to be recognized. But I wasn’t always like this. You know that old saying, Your life can change in an instant. It’s so fucking corny, but it’s true in a way. We’ve heard it in the movies countless times. Not to mansion real life. It’s always there whether it’s acknowledged or not. I never hear it used in a positive light though. “you’re life changes in an instant” is most commonly used to show some form of loss or unfortunate occurrence that has changed your life for the worst. Not to say your life can’t change in positive ways instantly, but we tend to take those little moments for granted. We all like good things to happen to us. Sometimes we don’t even realize how easy it comes. My first “life changing event” that I can remember, was nothing bold, nothing out theer, nothing anyone can detect. No one but me I guess. It was a subtle shift, something I think wouldn’t change my life in the long run. But here I am 20 years later still thinking about it. The other day I was cleaning out my room and I found a shit ton of old junk that I had when I was in pre school. They were papers and reports basically talking about my development and how I interacted with other kids. I was surprised to see the words “leader” “”social” “”outgoing” “energetic” and friendly in my reports. Since most of my childhood I made an effort to stay a loner. I knew I had not always been a loner, but it was refreshing anf somewhat fascinating to see it written down on paper by an observer. That brings me to discuss my first life changing event, which is, of coarse, when I decided to stop being all those things. I must have been 3 or 4 at the time. My best friend was this girl that lived down the street named Molly. And I literally was best friends with her ever since the day I was both. She was 3 months older than I was and since her family lived not too far away and my parents were already well acquainted with them she was constantly over at my house. Every time my parents set up a playdate I would be like YES YES YES. I loved hanging out with her. Having her around was one of my favorite things ever. One day the phone was ringing and it was Molly’s mom. “Hey Jordan” my mother said cheerfully, “Would you like Molly to come over for a play date.” My immediate answer was yes of coarse because I always LOVED seeing Molly. But then something happened. I had these sudden flood of unfamiliar emotions. “Wait, I can’t have molly over, what if I get bored and want alone time.” “What if I just don’t want to see her right now.” “Will I regret this decision in the future?” It was as if a switch flipped in my brain. I went from being fully exited and happy, to immediately regretful and unsure of myself. After this weird flood of emotions I immediately said to my mom. “Never mind, I don’t feel like seeing anyone right now.” And from that moment forward I kept a cautious distance. Whenever I was asked to see her again, I would say things like, “ok, but only for an hour” or “maybe later, I don’t feel like it right now.” I don’t know exactly why but I just felt like I needed to be alone. As if alone time was “better” in some way. That one switch in my mind mapped out a majority of my childhood and adolescent social life. And to this day I wonder, if I ignored those emotions that day Molly’s mom was on the phone and just said yes as I always do, How different would my life be today? In the grand scheme of things I really didn’t mind being alone all the time. But I could definitely tell my parents were concerned. I was brought to all these doctors as a kid and they’d always ask my about my social life and how things are going. I’d just always be like “things are good”

“How are friends at school?” “Things are good.” “Do you enjoy interacting with the other kids?” “Yeah. I guess.” “Do you ever invite them over to your house?” “Sometimes.” “Why don’t you invite them over more?”

Like… I understand the concept of therapy. But when I don’t understand is how a parent will legit just bring there little kid to some random office, have them sit down in a room alone, with a woman they don’t know AT ALL. And expect them to actually say to that random stranger, in that random building, siting in that random office how they actually feel. Like, the whole Idea of giving those doctors even a shred of personal information, was beyond me. I know some people who go to therapy today AS ADULTS who feel uncomfortably sharing shit with there therapist. So the idea of an elementary schooler doing it is beyond me. It wasn’t until years later when I was 17 that I actually chose to go to therapy again because I was ready to open up.

#it gets better #kind of #self deprecating humor #depression #fameous #popular #9gag - trending #social anxiety #artists on tumblr #blogger #lifestyle #life quotes #thereapy

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