#I aspire to emulate her vibes

[frolltomstein]

I wanted to draw something for fun in between my work projects, so here’s a little Julie Joyful!

[jewishbarbies]

Hi, I wanted to post this as a reply, but replies are restricted, so I’m doing it here lol, but in regards to an anon you got talking about travis being a red flag, and his social circle consisting of violent men with tempers, one of which has already sexually assaulted someone, and how he could easily do that to taylor, I saw a tiktok the other day of a girl filming the crowd midway through an eras tour concert with the caption “imagine if women could feel as safe everywhere as they feel during a Taylor Swift concert” and just……

That may have been true once upon a time, like when she was with joe for example, but now that she’s with travis and associating herself with people like jackson mahomes (or whatever than POS’s name is), I feel like it’s going to slowly convince a lot of younger girls that a boyfriend with travis’s behaviour is ok, that a friend group with men like jackson mahomes is ok, that literal SA and violent outbursts (like travis displayed against his coach during the superbowl) are ok.

Women aren’t going to feel safe in taylor-adjacent places anymore, because Taylor is essentially showing them that this sort of behaviour is not only ok, but something to wish for in a boyfriend.

He’s a REAL man! He plays sports! He’s not violent, he’s just passionate! Those tweets of his? He was just being goofy! He didn’t mean it! “Just because his friend did something, that doesn’t mean HE’S like that!” (Spoiler alert, it does. I had an ex who was friends with a guy that was openly racist, and whilst my ex never said anything super obviously racist, he also never called out his friends racism, even when my jaw was on the floor after some of the stuff he said). It sounds dramatic, but it’s a slippery slope.

Just look at how many young girls were essentially groomed to be groomed by all these teen drama shows featuring scandalous affairs between teachers and their students back in the 2010’s. Those relationships were shown to be something to aspire to, not for the danger they really were, and young fans dismissing travis and his friends behaviour just because Taylor is ok with it gives me the same vibes.

…

(Also I’m pretty sure the poor girl that died during one of the Brazil concerts didn’t feel “as safe as women feel during a taylor swift concert”, but hey, what do I know?)

one of the many reasons i hate pop feminism is exactly that - young women and girls are told by grown women that men like travis are acktually so great and wonderful and his relationship with taylor is the model relationship just because they like her/her music, and then these young women and girls will go on to try and actually emulate it. they're also straight up just told by taylor herself. what kind of icon and role model purposely dates an abusive man as publicly as possible, while hanging out with and supporting his friends who have sexually assaulted women? the dangerous culture swifties have disguised as feminism all to follow in their idol's footsteps is incredibly toxic and unsafe for women. she's no one a woman should be looking to for a healthy anything. i've seen firsthand what it looks like to date someone like travis or jackass mahomes. it's not romantic, it's not a fairytale, and it's not love.

[siyurikspakvariisis]

Alright, I'm doing it. I'm replaying Baldur's Gate 3 as my first Tav, now redesigned and with a bit of a backstory and everything.

Meet Belarna. Despite what the card says, she's a priestess of Eilistraee (I'm using a variation on this build because 1. I really wanna play a bard and I really want said bard to be decent in combat, 2. I think it fits the vibes of a priestess of Eilistraee better than the Cleric class does, 3. Cleric != Priest and I will die on this hill) and a lorekeeper/courier between surface drow communities. She brings news from one community to another, passes on songs and prayers and recipes and jokes, and is down to draw her sword to defend the often maligned surface drow from assailants.

She's the daughter of a Secret Moondancer, a commoner from Menzoberranzan who had converted to Eilistraee and ran a small chapel in the Stenchstreets. Her mother had her smuggled to the surface when she was a child, to keep her safe in case Lolthite leadership took wind of the chapel and the Eilistraeean community surrounding it. She has few memories of her mother, but her adoptive family told her many tales about her, and she came to view her as a hero, a larger-than-life figure she aspires to emulate.

This is still a work in progress, but at least I have identified key elements: the hero worship, the way she clings to the tenets of harmony, peace, hospitality and joy, and... I still have to work this out, but the Second Sundering is rather recent, so during most of Belarna's lifetime Eilistraee was an absent goddess. I wonder how did that shape her church...

[not-poignant]

Unnecessary throwback, I just reread The Wind that Cuts the Night AGAIN (one of my faves) and I think about this every time i do, are there any authors or books in particular that influence your writing style? Because the vibes are impeccable in this fic and it’s something that makes me wonder about any inspiration you may have had <3

Hi anon!

I have read literally thousands of books, and I think every single one of them - especially the ones I've loved - have all influenced my writing style a little. From non-fiction to fiction.

There's definitely no single writer I want to emulate, because I pretty much never find exactly what I want to read out there. It's more like I find moments, and then I think 'oh I want to make a reader feel the way this writer made me feel right now' but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to write in their style? Or if it does, it will still be influenced by all the other things that have influenced me in the past.

*thinks* I've read so many authors it's almost impossible to single out the ones I love the most re: writing style, but here's a few: Ursula K. Le Guin, dgalerab on AO3, Robin Hobb (though I feel like I've aged out of her writing now), CS Pacat, Suzanne Clarke, Bill Bryson, Robert Holdstock, Mark Z. Danielewski, Asumiko Nakamura, Andrea Gibson, Martha Wells (particularly re: Murderbot), Hinako Takanaga, Chuuya Nakahara, John Fowles, Orson Scott Card (for all that he's a bigot homophobic dickhead), Sarah Monette / Katherine Addison, Alan Ball, Mike Schur, Brian Jacques, Cecilia Dart-Thornton, Dan Harmon, Randall Jarrell, Thomas Harris, Yana Toboso, Ono Natsume, Kim Dare, Moto Hagio, Scott Heim, Gerald Durrell, Tanith Lee, George Mackay Brown, early Lyn Gala, early Sidney Bell, early Roan Parrish, Ann-Marie MacDonald, William Goldman, a bunch of classic authors and poets that we don't have time for, Tamora Pierce, Philip Pullman, and like...more fic authors I'm forgetting, lol.

(There's a mix in here, including fic writers, poets, essayists, scriptwriters and novelists).

(Also I am under no illusions that I am anywhere as good as any of these writers, they're just the ones whose styles really inspire me. Except I know I'm missing like 100 others and that's going to annoy me, lmao, I am okay with being mediocre, when I have this greatness to aspire to).

(For all the people who've ever asked me to rec some stuff, there you go, there's the list sdalkfjas).

(For anyone who thinks my writing is good, all I can say is read broadly, widely, across genres, across mediums, it's the best way to improve what you do. Though I'm mad as fuck that the list doesn't have more POC in it. I need to read far more broadly).

(Anon I'm SO glad you enjoy that fic! It was such an indulgent little story :D)

[f0point5]

I could go on about the pure vibes but I would probably get roasted so I won’t//

petition for you to go on🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

Um…

I don’t know how to say this nicely 😂

They seem like they try a bit hard? And again, disclaimer because obviously Carmen especially is trying to keep her outfits cohesive and works with a stylist but the way she interprets the aesthetic just comes across as aspirational, as in it’s what she aspires to, not what she embodies for her audience to aspire to. All of it is so same-y same-y with no original flair. It gives very “buy this so you can be like us but there isn’t really an us because we’re just trying to be them”. It’s like they’re selling keeping up with the joneses as a lifestyle. And that’s strange to say because they can afford most of it, I’m not calling them broke by any means but it’s a bit of a nouveau riche mindset. Nobody roast me I have no other way to describe it 🫣 And the fact that they are so concerned with not deviating from what the masses think wealth/elegance is, kind of gives the game away that it’s a persona, rather than a pedigree.

Which is kind of my thing about the “old money” aesthetic, is that it’s basically a costume. You have to stick inside such narrow lines when you’re trying to emulate the look, whereas people who actually live the lifestyle have a far more varied and original wardrobe. Yes, there’s a lot of high quality pieces and some neutrals but that’s not the start and end of their fashion sense. It’s like you’re copying one of their outfits but making it your entire wardrobe. I feel like I’m explaining this poorly but essentially the “old money” trend is people duping the concept of not caring about labels or people knowing you have money except you’ve gone and bought all the things just so you look like the people who actually have money…because you care about looking like them. It’s a very strange carousel, it was essentially a way to get everyone to buy high street clothes because high street brands couldn’t compete with logomania because they didn’t have the clout, but they could make anything in beige and bouclé. It was such a scam and now everyone is just stuck with a lot of really basic outfits.

I feel like someone’s gonna come in the inbox and call me bitter or a psycho but sorry that’s just my opinion. It’s not shade on George and Carmen or anyone who loves the aesthetic, i have never hated the outfits, I just think the way it was marketed was kind of a scam.

[erina-writes-headcanons]

This will probably end up comedy and/or fluff but may I request Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and Semi with a gender-neutral s/o who grew up with their grandma, soaked up all the comforting vibes from her and went, “yanno what? I wanna be like that” and absolutely ran with it? They're all about that comforting vibes and sweetness and nurturing and last but not least fashion. Yeah, they dress like a grandma, if not the full ensemble then at least elements of it. Whenever somebody asks why they just go, “well grandmas are the epitome of what I aspire to be so it makes sense I'm emulating them” 🤣🤣 (glasses chains grandma-style plus one of those Grandma Bags of Holding that contain basically an entire house in it)

Semi Eita, Iwaizumi Hajime, and Oikawa Tooru have a S/O Dressing Up Like Their Grandparents.

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A/N: I- *Insert tea kettle laugh* Not gonna lie, anon. But you are the first person who asks a funny headcanon like this. S/O Dressing up like their grandma/grandpa???? Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Semi surely going to be really shocked having an S/O dressing up like their grandparents-

Warning: None but probably some profanities at Iwaizumi

P.S: Gender Neutral Reader

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Semi Eita

Semi loves it if he has a S/O that has a comforting and sweet vibe because who doesn't? Everyone in life needs a sweet and comforting partner in their life when they went through hardships.

The way you always stay right beside him when Shiratorizawa lose against Karasuno, the way you made him bento and brought it over after volleyball practice, and the way you comfort him when he down reminds him exactly how comforting his grandparents are and your kindness reminds him of them.

However, he is very surprised...no he is stunned when he is looking at his S/O who are wearing their grandma or their grandpa clothes as he comes to your house.

Especially when he's coming to your house and you already prepared a batch of cookies just for the two of you. You could imagine his face, it was priceless as his eyes widened and his mouth gaped like a fish while looking at you as if you had two heads.

(Y/N)-san....w-what are you wearing? Why are you wearing a knitted sweater/housedress and looking like that?" Semi is seriously confused with your sudden antics because he never sees his s/o wearing a grandparent's kind of clothes in their style of clothing until today.

Semi is torn because he was a little bit amused that you are acting like comforting grandparents but he's also not amused. He doesn't hate it, he's just...uh.....doesn't expect that from you and that's why he's not that amused, he's more confused and curious.

It's not also a bit surprising after he saw one of your interactions with your grandparent. You two are just like a copy-paste of each other even though it's just like you're the younger version of your grandparents.

Noticing this, he would smile a little bit because he knows the two of you have a close relationship. He thinks it was cute that you have a comforting personality like your grandparents but he silently prays for you to stop dressing up like your grandparents.

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Since yesterday, you haven't gone to school as you spend your time together with your grandparents, especially your grandma/grandpa who would always listen to you while you were telling them your story about your boyfriend Semi Eita and school activities. You do have friends or best friends to tell your story but you just prefer your grandpa and grandma over your friends.

The way your grandma/grandpa made a delicious batch of cookies for you to snacking while studying makes you think about your boyfriend Semi Eita, he was such a kind boyfriend. Especially when you need him, he's always there for you even though it ended up he's scolding you to be careful.

A few days ago, the Shiratorizawa school and Karasuno were competing in a volleyball match and Karasuno won against them, which was a big surprise for you because you know Shiratorizawa is a school with a reputation for the strongest volleyball and they have their ultimate ace, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

A light bulb appears on top of your head and the corner of your lips twitched a little bit, reaching up to your eyes as a bright idea crosses your mind.

"That's it. I know how to cheer him up!" You walk away from your chair, going to the kitchen.

↠ Time Skip ↞

Walking down the street, Semi's mind still thinks about the recent loss of Shiratorizawa against Karasuno. He was still a bit upset and disbelieving although he knew there was going to be a time when another team is going to snatch the victory away. Closing the book in his hands, the male sighs and shakes his head as he begins walking to your house, planning to hang out with you for a bit to ease his stress.

Reaching out to the front door of your house, Semi began knocking on the door, "(Y/N)? Are you're here? It's me, Semi," he calls your name. After knocking several times, he decides to stop and wait for you 'Strange....she usually would answer right now,' he thought but before he could knock again, the door opened to show (Y/N).

His eyes widened to see (Y/N) in a knitted vest or a housedress and a plate of sushi rolls with tuna filling and a soy sauce with wasabi. "Hey babe, I made you your favourite sushi," you smile innocently which only makes him even more speechless and stunned than before to see his S/O dressing like their grandparents with a plate of his favourite food in their hand.

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Iwaizumi Hajime

He's grateful that he has a comforting S/O since all of Aoba Johsai volleyball members are so damn chaotic. Especially Oikawa, Hanamai and Matsukawa. Having you is just like a huge relief for him, especially since he is the vice-captain of Aoba Johsai.

You always listen to him when he's ranting about how annoying Oikawa can get as you made yourself and him a cup of coffee while listening to him. This is one of the reasons why he found you are comforting, especially when you are affectionate.

You could imagine his surprised face when he saw you dressing up exactly like your grandparents and acting all ost exactly like them just for shit and giggles.

The only difference between him and Semi that if Semi just gaping and staring at you with disbelief. He would react immediately and his loud voice could even waking all of the neighbourhood.

"OI Aho! W-what the hell are you trying to do?! Why are you wearing like how your grandparents do?!" He screamed, and you swore you were laughing your ass off as a result of his reaction from seeing you acting like your grandma and grandpa.

His reaction was even more priceless than Semi. Thus, you teased him just for fun " Well, my grandma or my grandpa is the epitome of comfort and what I aspire to be so it makes sense I'm emulating them," You joke, almost receiving a thrown tissue box from your boyfriend as you ran away cackling like a madman.

He is actually amused that you are dressing like your grandparents. He did have a good laugh from you as you continue acting like your grandparents but he's also wanted to slam his head against the wall, he doesn't expect you to also dress like them and tease them like how your grandparents tease you.

Although he finds it a little bit adorable that you do this because he knows it means you have such a close relationship with your grandparents. They way you two would joke with each other and how comfortable you are with your grandparents, mostly when you introduce him to your grandparents.

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Lately, the volleyball training hasn't gone exactly like he wants and some of his spikes miss, even the coach commented and put him on the bench for all of his mistakes. It made his mood even sourer than before because it's not usually he made a mistake, even if it's only training with another school.

"Iwaizumi-san. I'm sorry but you need to be on the bench for the second round of this match. You can join in the third round after this, you are losing your cool," CoachIrihata commented. Hearing the coach saying that, Iwaizumi couldn't but looking the older man with shock before he nod a long.

"...Hai (Yes), "Iwaizumi walks away.

As a manager of Aoba Johsai, you feel bad to see Iwaizumi to be in bad mood. Even though he didn't show it, it was clear that he feels hurt because of the slight furrow in his eyebrows and the way he bit his own lip while trying not to burst out in anger. Seeing him like this gave you an idea of how to cheer him up.

↠ Time Skip ↞

Once the two of you go back to your home. Iwaizumi straight goes to the couch and lays there, massaging the bridge of his nose and trying to ease the headache. While he was resting on the couch, you went to your grandparent's bedroom and wore the knitted vest plus a scarf.

With your hurried step, you quickly go to the kitchen with an excited smile as you turn on the stove and put a pan that is already filled with water to make a hot chocolate for the two of you. UNknownbeast to you, Iwaizumi hears your footsteps as he lifts his arms away from his face, wondering why you make too much voice inside of the kitchen.

"Oi, (Y/N) What are you doi-" As he walks away from the sofa, the male straight goes to the kitchen to see you dressing up like your grandparents while making a hot chocolate.

His eyes widened to see you dressing up like your grandparents, he didn't expect you would dress like them just to cheer him up. "OI! AHO! WHY ARE YOU DRESSING UP LIKE YOUR GRANDPARENTS?!"

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Oikawa Tooru

I know this man child loves it when you have this kind of way to comfort your boyfriend by making him his favourite food, listening to him, cheering him up and soaking him with comforting words, and being affectionate as hell.

Yes, you are indeed as comforting as your grandparents. Basically, you are close with your grandparents and that's why you have a tendency to be as comforting as them.

Oikawa receiving all that kind of love and comfort from you? He is going to be even more clingy than before. Particularly if you made him a milk bread and have a baking skills exactly like your grandparents.

Unlike Semi who would think you are crazy and Iwaizumi who would shout at you and comment you dressing up like your grandparents.

He is still surprised but that would be gone immediately as he began giggling and thinking how ridiculous you look. He did expect that you can be quite chaotic when you try to make him laugh but he doesn't expect you would dress up like your grandparents.

This manchild is going to joke about how ridiculous you look and he would take a picture of you as you are wearing your grandparent's clothes before he either save it or publish it in his blog just to make fun of you.

At other times, Oikawa would also join you wearing his grandparent's clothes together with you when you have a bad mood just for shit and giggles, also to tease you about how you try to cheer him up by wearing your grandparent's clothes.

It's a repayment for him to cheer you up but the only difference is that he would annoy you on purpose. For example, he would pinch your cheeks just to bother you when you want to be alone and he would run away giggling when you get annoyed by his antics.

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Oikawa is a great actor and you don't mean it literally, he just knows how to hide his pain with his bright smile and his fake laughter while he was around his friends or his fangirls. As Oikawa's S/O, you could tell when he was faking his emotion to hide the pain or when he was being genuine with his emotion.

This already continues, especially after the loss of Aoba Johsai with Shiratorizawa. It was even more obvious because you know he really wants to win the match and goes national but since Shiratorizawa has their ultimate ace, Ushijima Wakatoshi. It was impossible to go national even though he was working hard to be really good at volleyball.

You watch him smiling in front of Hanamaki, Matsukawa, Kindaichi, Kunimi and Iwaizumi but it seems only you and Iwaizumi who notice it was all an act even though Oikawa was smiling in front of his members. Looking at each other, Iwaizumi finally throws a question to you.

"He's still mad with the last match with Shiratorizawa, (Y/N)-san. Do you have any idea how to cheer him up?" Iwaizumi whispers.

"Yeah, I have an idea to cheer him up once we go back. Don't worry about it, I just hope he likes it," You whisper back.

↠ Time Skip ↞

Sitting on the couch, he was looking at the ground with a blank eye. You were glad that he's less fake around you and more honest with his feeling when he's around you but it still worries you to see him still in pain after the match against Shiratorizawa.

Not wanting to see him in pain and mopping around because of the recent loose, you decide to go to your grandparent's room and wore one of their clothes. Not surprisingly, you wore the knitted vest, scarf, glasses and trousers to make yourself look like them. It was a bit silly but you want to make Oikawa laugh.

Going downstairs, you began calling your boyfriend's name "Tooru! I have a surprise for you!" You shout.

His eyes glance up to look at you "Hmm? What is it-"

His eyes widened to see you dressing up like your grandparents. One second turns into a few minutes before his cheeks puffed up like balloons and he bit his own lips. Seeing him trying not to laugh, you began wiggling your eyebrows and that was his last straw before he was laughing out loud.

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[the-lighthouse-lit]

List the Top 5-10 Animated Characters you aspired to be like when you were a kid, then tag three people.

I was tagged by @nobodycallsmerae , thank you for the trip down memory lane!! 💜💜 (sorry this took so long? I have no excuse my head's just all over the place)

10. Numbuh 362 from Codename: Kids Next Door. This one might be weird because I know she wasn't a main character, but she was so cool and in charge and totally the one I played pretend as 😂. When I wrote KND quasi-fanfiction she was the one I made main pov character

9. Frankie from Foster's home for imaginary friends. I distinctly remember basically studying her cool big sis vibes and trying to emulate them lol

8. Audrey from Atlantis. I identified with Milo hard until she came on 😅 She was so cute? Baddass? An 18-year-old engineering prodigy? A young girl in an unthinkable adventure? I projected hard

7. Kiki from Kiki's delivery service. A witch in training doing an internship away from home? Yes please. I wanted to be her so bad.

6. Cinderella. I clearly remember being little (six maybe?) watching the scene where the one mouse tells a newcomer mouse to not be afraid of cinderella because she's really nice and kind, and thinking "that's it. That's the kind of person I wanna be. Someone known for being kind. Someone mice can feel safe with"

5. Hercules. There's just something about the outcast kid working really hard at making his oddities his strengths and succeeding spectacularly at what he set out to do. When I think of dream-following this is still the soundtrack that plays in my head

4. Terra from teen titans. This one might surprise people?😅 But when I was 9/10 watching teen titans for the first time I didnt vibe with neither raven nor starfire. Terra was my real first love. I think she was brilliantly written because the coolness I perceived was something she was trying really hard to project; she was literally a child's idea of a cool person. I was basically beast boy when it came to her! She broke my heart in Aftershock but i still loved her; it wasn't until Things change that i ended the friendship.

3. Raven from teen titans. So after terra wrecked me one day i just noticed raven, and i never looked back. She jump started my goth phase. I still find her fascinating in every iteration, equal parts baddass and woobie, and concentrating my favorite archetypes: superheroes and witches

2. Yumi from hi hi puffy ami yumi show. Again, raven started my love of goth girls and i started noticing a lot more of them from around 11. And puffy was my first favorite band I was obsessed with on my own? Like not because it was popular on my age group/friend group. I idolized yumi, the cartoon and real one

1. Toph from ATLA. Okay toph was and is everything to me. Is there anything more wish fulfillment-ish than a tiny blind girl with an enormous talent and a double life who gets the call of destiny and jumps to adventure self emancipatong from sheltering parents in the process? I love how the writers weren't afraid to concentrate The most baddassery ever in one girl

Tagging @badbunny139 @paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 and @garnimalia if you guys wanna do it!

[deliahscrush2003]

Can't think of a specific question per se, but since I'm vibing with TW, wanna gush about Vanessa? (I have her first story bookmarked and plan on reading it at the earliest convenience 😊) Thank you!

Hey @wordspin-shares!

I first just wanted to say a huge thank you for trying out the Breathe for Me series!

It is literally my favorite piece of work that I've written, it was my first fanfic I ever posted and I am forever proud of it so it means so much that you're giving it a chance.

I've actually seen your comments and the fact that you took the time to leave them actually makes me tear up a bit!!

I just sit there, grinning like an idiot because I recognized your name in the comment section and my sisters are always like, 'You look manic' and I'm like 'You can't hurt me, people like what I write and you still need help writing your Year 10 English paper so whose winning'.

Anyway...that's besides the point....

I also love every and any chance to gush over Vanessa because she was my first ever OC and I treasure her as if she were my child and sit there writing scenes like a proud parent in the distance watching my child set fire to their first dumpster going, 'That's my girl, I taught her that'.

So I'm over the moon that you're asking about her!

I hope you're enjoying the series so far, you'll have to let me know which part you're up to!

Vanessa O'Connor: (I am the President of her Fan Club)

Vanessa is acknowledged as being pretty badass by most of the canon characters of Teen Wolf.

Despite being human, she is brave, courageous and bold - something that many of the big bads both detest and admire about her.

It was actually her fearlessness that gained Peter Hale's respect when he tried to threaten her at a boutique and ended up getting bullied into giving her fashion advice for a dress to the Winter Dance.

Vanessa is a smartass so she always needs to have the last word.

She once responded to Matt Daehler's villain monologue in the station with 'cool motive, still murder'.

It is an inside joke to the pack that she's actually the Alpha (Derek ignores it like a saint, even agrees to extent that he's nothing without her help but he would never say the latter out loud).

If there's one thing Vanessa believes in above all else it's the freedom to make your own choices.

She used to have a crush on Lydia Martin in middle school/freshmen year (not as bad as Stiles though) and kind of saw her as someone to aspire to be. She was impressed with Lydia's confidence and worked hard to emulate her attitude, fashion and presence to be noticed by her.

Vanessa wants to be a writer and it was by reading YA books that she put together the pieces and realized Derek Hale was a werewolf not even an hour after first meeting him.

Oh, she and Derek met when she ran him over with her car.

She legally needs prescription glasses to drive (and to see five feet ahead of her) but she doesn't wear them through most of the series (because I forgot) but mostly because she insists it ruins her 'beautiful features'. Isaac thought she looked cute with glasses.

FALLEN IN LOVE AND WANT TO KNOW MORE? LEAVE AN ASK!

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TAGLIST: @foxesandmagic || @lokitrasho || @wordspin-shares || @lilac-lemonade || @apollothe-sungod || @chickensarentcheap || @ocfairygodmother

[centrally-unplanned]

Allocating Your Aesthetic Budget: Sailor Moon Edition

Sailor Moon is a show that undoubtedly built a powerhouse of a visual brand. Should I even bother posting a screenshot of the sailor scouts, given that I am 100% confident anyone reading this can recall them instantly? I guess it won’t hurt: 

Anime is often really good at creating iconic designs like this, through repetition of the visuals. It is awkward in live action shows if characters just wear the same outfit every scene (what, they only own one outfit? Are they homeless/work in the tech industry?), but animation gives us enough aesthetic “distance”, an awareness that this isn’t accurate to real life, that you can buy into the conceit. By wearing the same outfit every time, it just becomes the character. Not to mention a studio can really save quite a few bucks by streamlining production with neat tricks like having only one character design to animate - when you are on a shoe-string budget, like pretty much every anime in the 90’s was, every cut corner counts.

What is interesting about Sailor Moon is that most of the time it doesn’t really use this conceit at all.

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Episode 15 of Sailor Moon’s first season has, in its opening act, this shot of all of the Senshi (at the time) talking to the plot-of-the-day character, who clearly trains rock Pokemon in 16-bit caves in his off hours:

If you knew nothing about these three characters, you could probably infer about 80% of their personality just from their outfits. Usagi (the blond one in the middle, if that's necessary) is wearing:

Light pastel colours, with pink on top of that: girly, feminine, bubbly and breezy

Short-but-not-too-short of a skirt, and red heels: cares about fashion, wants to project an image of being a woman with a romantic hint to it

Long-twin tails w/ buns: Contrasting the shoes, she is still immature and childish. It also means she is the protagonist of an anime 

Rei (far right) rocks a very different look:

T-shirt and jean shorts, shoes over heels: sensible, practical, a bit sporty

Very short shorts, long black hair: Confident, a bit aggressive, and suggestive of a more overt sexuality

Ami (far left) settles into a more restrained vibe with:

Full, long, but sleeveless dress, bob-cut hair: Chaste, more conservative, but not to the point of prudishness; particularly with the length (and the hand posture, shielding her body) probably a bit shy

Monochrome blue colour in outfit & hair: reserved, serene, possessing a calm demeanor

I know I have seen the show already, but really none of these details are a stretch - this is just the language of fashion. And all of these outfits are outfits that the characters have never (or rarely) worn before up until this point. The cast of Sailor Moon, far from that animation conceit of “standard outfits”, change clothes all…

the….

time.

     I just randomly clicked on episodes to find these, it requires no hunting

And while it isn’t always as spot on as the top picture, they all in some way embody the language of visual design to speak to the personality of the characters. If you want to see more, check out one of the multiple tumblrs dedicated to the everyday clothing the Sailor Senshi wear, because of course those exist.

If this was a 2010’s Kyoto Animation show, pointing this out would be the end of it - every one of their shows has this level of impeccable detail. Sailor Moon is notable in that it is not at all that kind of show; the animation and designs in Sailor Moon take perpetual shortcuts to get the job done. I don’t think the transformation sequences need to be belabored - the way they permitted the team to recycle identical animation sequences, multiple times per episode, was surely a godsend to the production schedule. Yet not all of the budget limitations are so prettily masked:

     I’m sure they finished the background art in the...VHS release?

The show is filled with dirty animation, unfinished backgrounds, backgrounds that are a simple color gradient for no clear reason, and so on. It is clear that the Sailor Moon team did not have the resources for every detail - which is why the decision of what details they did choose to prioritize is so interesting.

----------

What is the point of Sailor Moon? I do believe that shows have “points”; and by that I don’t mean a message or theme but a core appeal to an audience, something specific that they will get out of the show. Almost every show appeals along multiple axes, and Sailor Moon is no exception, but I want to focus on one: aesthetic identification.

If you learn someone is a Sailor Moon fan, there is the obvious follow-up question you have to ask, namely “which Sailor Senshi are you?” It’s the which-Harry-Potter-house-are-you question of anime, a horoscope where you can choose your sign (in this case literally). The premise of this concept is not hard for media to execute on - it is just personality traits and aesthetics grouped together under a label, a basic building block of media and clickbait internet quizzes. Harry Potter, ironically, raised up its memetic question almost by accident, as its focus is so squarely on House Gryffindor that the others are almost forgotten; it was just so mind-bogglingly popular that it didn’t matter. 

Sailor Moon, however, takes this concept and allocates so much of its aesthetic budget into making it a centerpiece of the show. Sailor Moon herself is a klutzy, lazy romantic, Sailor Mercury is a shy, earnest bookworm, and so on, with none of them ever really becoming very complex characters. However, the show devotes itself to making you *feel* these archetypes as strongly and intricately as possible. All of those outfit changes are chosen because not only do real girls care about their outfits and can therefore identify more strongly with characters who do the same, but so they can constantly emulate their archetype in diverse, different ways. The show doesn't have the budget for intense action scenes, so after Sailor Moon engages in her hyper-serious transformation sequences, she proceeds to, nearly every time, bumble through the combat scenes like this:

Oh sure, the scenes are done this way because it is funny (and good comedy can be done on any budget - these shots are frequently still frames with motion lines!), but it is also done this way because Sailor Moon is a total screw-up, and if you identify with that it is validating to see someone “just like you” able to pull off wins despite it all. The transformation sequences are not only beautiful animation that showcases aspirational power, but are also crafted to highlight the personalities of the Senshi in question - unless you think aggressive, combative Rei got fire powers by coincidence. Half of the run-time of every episode is spent, not on the plot du-jour, but on light-hearted personal squabbles between the cast because those scenes are not just funny, but also allow for far more moments of character expression. 

All of that work pays off in building with the audience, not a connection with a character who reflects their identity in total, but a connection that reflects one aspect of their identity in an extremely deep (dare I say multifaceted?) way. I think if you were to describe Sailor Moon as a “shallow” show, you would actually be right to say so, in a sense. These characters will never have the true depth of personality, themes and so on of a more ‘adult’ show. But those adult shows have to spend their effort somewhere - for all that the themes of say Evangelion or Paranoia Agent are pristinely detailed and impactful, you aren’t ever going to be memorizing the moves of their transformation sequences. The way Sailor Moon committed so strongly to fleshing out the archetypes the Senshi stood for is, I think, one of the keys to how this cast of five became so iconic.

     Not even their school uniforms match! They had to spend time in-universe *justifying* this!

----------

A Final Note:

At least, everything I’ve said here applies to Sailor Moon at its peaks. The show, however, is not one without its stumbles, even in Season 1. This section doesn’t flow into the core essay too well, but I wanted to note it because if you were to watch Sailor Moon today, you might struggle to feel the dynamic outlined above. The biggest culprit here is the length - Season 1 is 46 episodes long, and sections of it most certainly drag. They also take a startlingly long time to introduce the cast - this choice builds tension around their arrival, but it also means the later Senshi get a lot less time to establish themselves. Sailor Venus in particular gets hamstrung by this - she is introduced and then immediately arc plot elements sweep the narrative, and so she is left as a hollow shell for some time. The pacing of the show is undoubtedly flawed.

I think Sailor Moon is a show that you do have to keep its time and place in mind for - namely, middle schoolers and anime nerds watching it on broadcast TV in the 90’s. As an adult you “get” the point of the show pretty quickly, and get satiated on it almost as fast. Watching it all in a few sittings only heightens this problem. For a younger audience, and one that is waiting for a week between episodes with no internet for plot reminders, all that extra time is needed to jog memories and build connections. And younger audiences just have that limitless commitment to the things they love! If you think no one could actually enjoy seeing the same transformation sequence for the 30th time, watch it with someone who would have died for this show when they were 10 and you will be disabused of that notion *very* quickly. 

Still, we can’t travel back in time - Sailor Moon is a show of its era. There are “filler-reduced” guides out there, though I caution that the plot of Sailor Moon is absolutely not the point of the show in comparison to the character dynamics, and so sometimes the filler is the best part (Cat-Rhett Butler is the best character in the show YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT). Certainly, however, some method must be used to cut down on its length. If you are going to be a first time viewer in adulthood, that reality should be kept in mind, and if you do accept it for what it is you can really appreciate its core appeal - and don’t forget to finish it off with a 1990′s era internet personality quiz to really wrap it up!

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Dragon Egg (Parts 4-6)

Long post because I neglected uploading for a few days. For @secrettunnelatla

It is all about fibs and careful twists. Change a few names and situations and suddenly Ozai is just a nameless man. A vague set of lyrics and verses on a page. A collection of words that shape the story of an abuser and his victim.

It is all the easier, picturing Zuko as the victim. Surely it can’t be her. Father treats her well; he has given her this recording studio. He has rewarded her for her three new singles with a newer car. He has given her nothing but praise for surprising him with so many new songs all at once.

Father buys her so many new stage outfits and lets her pierce her tongue and decorate it with genuine ruby. She has everything. He loves her. He is proud of her. It is only a hiccup, a lapse in judgment when he shows anything but affection. It is the alcohol that makes him smash the windows on her car. She doesn’t remember what he did it for but she knows that it was the alcohol because he has a brand new car waiting for her the next day.

And she drives it to Seicho’s house to deliver her birthday present. She will open the box and find a skateboard and tickets to see her show. Seicho is a delight and a somber presence all at once. In many ways, she reminds Azula of TyLee and that stings.

Sometimes she misses TyLee. Misses that sweet smile. Misses playing make believe in her backyard. Once upon a time, TyLee was going to be her drummer and they were going to tour from nation to nation in a bus with diamond studded tire caps. Once upon a time, she, Mai, and TyLee were going to be the rock trio that the world wouldn’t be able to forget.

And once upon a time, Mai decided that she liked Zuko more and TyLee decided that she liked Mai more. Zuko always had been the more lovable of the two. But Azula is the more successful. She has made a promise to herself that they would regret abandoning her for him when her faces is everywhere and Zuko is a sellout.

Seicho invites her inside, her friends are already there, a girl named Song, a girl named Jin, and a younger boy named Hide.

“Have a slice of cake or a whack at the pinata.” Seicho offers. She holds out a bat, wrapped with skull patterned duct tape and studded with nails. “You can have the first swing.”

Azula is sure that it would only take one good swing for the nails to shred the pinata. “I’ll have a slice of cake. I can’t stay for too long. I have a show.” There is a part of her, a very large part of her that wants more than a taste of this world. A simpler world where goals and aspirations aren’t make or break. “But I had to drop this off for you.”  The skateboard in the box is expensive, it is more than enough to make up for not being able to stick around for the party.

Seicho’s face falls and Azula tells herself that it is only because she hasn’t unwrapped the gift yet. She knows that the smile is forced when she replies, “thanks, Azula. Maybe you can join us next year.”

Regret doesn’t hit her in full until she has already stepped back into her car. By now it would only be rude to change her mind and ring the doorbell again. Maybe this is why it was so easy for TyLee to choose Mai and for Mai to choose Zuko; she tends to choose her career over companionship.

She promises herself that after Audio of Agni, she will make more time for social obligations.

.oOo.

The stage doesn’t quite have its thrill tonight. The energy itself is excitedly frantic, vibrant with enthusiasm but it doesn’t quite reach Azula. It doesn’t matter, she is good at pretending. She knows what she is supposed to feel like--she has felt it before when the band was brand new, when Mai and TyLee were her backup vocalists.

So she emulates the vibe she is supposed to give off. She pretends like the crowds cheers and shouts and claps mean everything. She pretends like their liveliness gives her life too. Pretends like she can feel the music in her body and soul the same way everyone else does. But she only feels empty.

Empty and alone. A disorienting feeling when she is looking upon more faces than she can count.

All the while she sings lyrics that make her stomach squirm and her heart ache. If her father knew that he is the inspiration behind them, she’d have another song to write.

She doesn’t understand why singing these songs hurts so much. She is singing about Zuko and her father, not about she and her father. Or maybe she isn’t singing about her father at all, but a nameless father and his nameless child. Hell, it can be a mother too. Just a vague musical rendition of a dreadful parent who is merely neglectful on a good day.

It dawns upon her that she is the victim that she sings of when she finds herself getting teary on that stage. They think that it is part of the act. They think that she is a stellar actress on top of a damn good lyricist.

She doesn’t correct them. The only thing that sells more than sex is sorrow.

Things change after that. There is more attention, more interviews, more magazine photoshoots, and more simmering resentment from From Ashes To Phoenix. She basks in the limelight and relishes in Zuko’s envy. And with the spotlight shining so brightly, she can no longer see the darkness that had helped put it on her.

****

Seeing her on TV is hell. Even when she isn’t right in front of him, flaunting her riches, talents, and everything he could have had, she is still able to mock him.

These days, he can’t escape her. She is everywhere; on the radio, on the magazines, on the TV, and on posters. He even sees her in the hallways of Caldera Capital High. He sees her there, though she has been pulled out months ago for a private education tailored to her personal schedule. It is just one more thing for him to envy. He has to manage his band and school, of course his progress is slower. Sometimes stunted altogether.

And for his troubles he averages C’s and D’s--B’s if he is lucky--and music that is half done and not nearly what he had imagined in his mind. He knows that he is going to have to make a choice and he thinks that he has begun to make that choice a few months back. He has lost track of how many times he has stayed after class to discuss his grades. He wonders how uncle will take to him dropping out. Should he turn in the forms that are tucked away in his backpack and seal the deal there won’t be any turning back. He will have to make it big. It will be his only chance.

A gaggle of fangirls fawning over the brooding lonewolf with the choker and black nailpolish can only take him so far. It doesn’t leave the hallways. But he does, he evades the teachers and hall monitors and climbs his way onto the roof. Mai is already there, he can see the smoke trail.

“Want one?” She offers.

“I’ll take a drag from yours.”

Mai passes the cigarette. “Have you told your uncle yet?”

He takes his drag and passes it back. “No.”

Mai gives a little hum. “Make a decision and commit, Zuko. Either you tell your uncle that you’re dropping out or start hustling to fix your grades. You have to succeed somewhere.”

He flinches. She sounds all too similar to Azula. She sighs. “Sorry. I just worry about you, Zuko. Indecisiveness is going to ruin you if you let it.”

There are a lot of things that are going to ruin him if he lets them. To some degree he thinks that he is already ruined. That he should just fester in the failure. “I could use another drag.”

“Sure.” Mai replies.

He takes his drag and watches the smoke curl up to the mid-afternoon sky. Mai leans back with her hands behind her head.

“What are you doing up here, Mai?” He asks. “You can actually pass your classes, why are you letting me drag you down?”

“Zuko, I’ve never felt more...up. Sometimes I just need to get out of there.” She spares a glance to the door. “It’s suffocating and smells like cheap perfume and testosterone. I smoke at least a cigarette a day, gym class is pointless anyways.”

He chuckles. He feels right when he is on the roof with her. When he is with her in general. Pessimistic as she nihilistic as she is, he feels the most hopeful when he is with her. Even if it is just for a moment, Azula’s shadow doesn’t envelop and shroud him. Even if it is just for a moment, he can forget about she and her antics and everything her overachieving has helped steal from him. Even if it is just for a moment he can see, truly envision and believe in a reality where he strums his guitar before an arena full of adoring, audio hungry fans.

He makes a decision, he is going tell uncle that high school isn’t for him. That he is meant for...that he deserves better things. As the sun reaches its zenith, he decides that he will truly work for his dream.

****

The darkness floods right back in when she is away from the stage. When the lyrics that echo through the venue become a reality. She doesn’t know exactly what she has done. Maybe she has done nothing at all. He very well may just be in a bad mood. She is texting Seicho when he enters. “Hello father.” She greets with a smile.

He returns it with a blank face and folded arms. “What is this?” He slaps a piece of paper onto the table. He nods for her to read it over.

“It’s a…” she knits her brows, “a printout of our ticket sales.” She looks up from the paper. “What’s wrong with it?”

“How many tickets were sold for the first show?”

“It was sold out.”

“What about all of last week’s shows and the week before that?”

“Sold out.” She says again.

He nods. “Yes, sold out. What about last night’s show?”

Azula swallows, “1,684.”

He drums his fingers on the table. “Would you like to tell me what happened?”

She thinks that it could be a lot of things; that night had also been the night of the high school homecoming baseball game, people might have been short on cash, the time slot had been a tad earlier than usual. All of these answers seem like excuses--she should have a performance more compelling than baseball, she should have had a performance with spending money on, she should have pushed for a more favorable time slot. “It was a smaller venue.” She says at last much.

Wrong answer.

“I was selling out all of my shows.” He slaps the page and she flinches. “These aren’t metal legend numbers, they aren’t even Audio of Agni numbers.”

She wants to point out that he probably hadn’t been selling out all of his shows when his band had been as young as hers is. Instead she very quietly promises, “I’ll do better, father.” She must and she will because he is right. Only 1,684 tickets sold in a venue that could hold 2,000 people? That is embarrassing.

“Maybe if you weren’t fooling around with that tattoo artist… you won’t be seeing her anymore”

“Wh-what?” She sputters. “No, that’s not it! Seicho isn’t a distraction!” She realizes too late that she has gotten too loud.

She closes her eyes and tenses for the strike that is sure to come. When it doesn’t she cracks an eyelid. He hasn’t even closed the distance between them. She allows herself to relax. It is only then that his hand snakes out and finds her cheek.

Reflexively her own hand comes to rub it. She bites the sides of her cheeks and swallows down the cry that is waiting to come up. More than anything she hates knowing that she has failed him. That she has disappointed him. These moments are few and far between, she makes sure of that. But they are still there and she has just given herself one more ill mark. Has put herself one step closer to ending up like Zuko. “I’ll do better.” She says again when she finds the words.

It was never like this before. She glares at the empty bottles. It was never like this--he used to love her. She used to be is gleaming little star. He would yell at her, sometimes until his face went red, but he has never hit her before. She looks at the bottles, but it might be that she has finally made enough mistakes for him to see her as a splendid failure instead of his rising rockstar.

She takes out her phone and taps the screen a few times before holding it up, “see no more distractions. I deleted her number.” She forces a smile. “I needed to focus on memorizing my new material anyways.”

At last he returns the smile. The tightness in her chest slackens, giving way to an optimistic and relieved fluttering in her tummy. He ruffles her hair, “that’s my girl.” He gives her a small hug. “I should know better than to doubt you.” He smells so strongly of booze.

But she has satisfied him. She is still is gleaming little star.

[transgamerthoughts]

Idle Thoughts On Games During Pandemic Times

I’m in an interesting position as I write this. Since I’ve written here I have moved out of journalism and towards the dev side of games. Good news! I’m happier! Bad news! It can feel weird to have public opinions.  That said, I miss writing and I’ve had some thoughts about games I’ve played (mostly major titles) that I want to share. I’m keeping them loose and I hope folks will allow me the indulgence. Here we are!

Ghost of Tsushima 

I’ve been surprised by how playable Ghost of Tsushima is. Which is to say that the world is very enjoyable to explore. There’s something about ambling between marker to marker, or stumbling upon a few hidden items, that fundamentally works. I’ve seen some folks imply that this is simply the result of overproduced open-world design philosophies. A sort of focus-tested gaming drug-world that it’s easy to slide into. There’s probably some truth to that, and there’s a discussion to be had about the dangers of pastoralism, but I think that the open-world itself is designed well. Sure, there’s collectables and outposts to conquer and all the things you would expect but those are not the appeal. In fact, in many cases, engaging with those things feels worse than wandering. In the early game particularly, combat is not enjoyable. But there’s a sensibility to the world, a sort of stubborn antiquatedness that calls back to an open-world structure—one where space existed for its own sake—that we don’t see in as many games now. That’s curious to me because Tsushima has been criticized for feeling old-fashioned but I think this approach to world design isn’t so far removed from Breath of the Wild. It is certain littered with more *stuff* that you can stumble on but despite the fact that I can set markers or unlock bonuses that make these things easier to find, I don’t feel an overwhelming push to engage with them.

That good because combat is a decidedly mixed affair. I’m not eager to slide into difficulty discussions but if Tsushima’s closest cousin is Assassin’s Creed, it’s no surprise that I’ve instantly found the game more playable at a lower difficulty setting. If the goal is to emulate film—and there can be discussion about how well that’s actually done; black and white filters don’t suffice to make something comparable to Kurosawa—then Tsushima’s normally cluttered and gamey combat rubs against that impulse. It’s a game with sub-weapons, ninja-like tools, multiple stances for breaking the guards of certain enemies, and a wealth of skill trees. The beauty of the action (which you can frame at the push of a button thanks to a respectable photo mode) can get lost in the shuffle.  Lowering the difficulty has led to speedier and more dramatic encounters where a few sword strokes can slay a handful of men. It’s a curious thing, as I tend to play games on higher difficulties, but this is one of the few times where I felt it might have served a game better to streamline combat down to the most basic of interactions. Tsushima’s combat can get very busy and I did not enjoy tackling challenges or outpost conquest until I progressed to unlock more abilities while also lowering the difficulty. Even then, those are the moments I care for the least.

I feel unable to comment on critical discussions about Tsushima’s story and politics but as an observer to the input of Japanese-American writers and Japanese devs/players, one thing that’s struck me is how the broader gamer culture has reacted to the dialogue. There have been moments where gamers have minimized the voices of some critics with the exultations of certain Japanese writers, which eliminates valid concerns from people who have every right to look close at a game connected to their heritage. The lens through which Tsushima was made was at the end of the day a Western one and that’s worth discussing. I am grateful for the writing of critics like Kazuma Hashimoto at Polygon that dig into these tensions.  I will say that I feel like Tsushima sometimes wants to do the proper thematic thing where it will say that entrenched nobility and cultural notions of honor can be inherently damaging but because that’s mostly expressed, at least in the main plot, as “the outside invaders are besting us because of our traditions” it falls flat. Tsushima works best in side quests where the stakes are smaller. It’s thematic aspirations are best when things are personal and on a more humble scale. I like the version of Tsushima I get to play in those moments more than I like the grand gestures towards honor or combat challenges. Which is to say I mostly want Way of the Samurai with multiple zones and a more connective tissue. Tsushima teases that possibility without ever really getting there. In those teasing moment, the game makes a lot more sense to me.

I’ve enjoyed myself and intend to finish soon. That enjoyment comes with a lingering question: what other game could this have been? It’s inspired an image in my mind of a different sort of open-world ronin game where there is a smatter of villages with sub-stories and perhaps the smallest A-plot. A game with Mongol invaders, dramatic family conflict, or shogunate decrees.  Tsushima has capture my attention but I do wonder more about what might have been that what is right in front of my eyes.

The Last of Us: Part II

I have struggled with this game in ways I did not know were possible. When I play it, I find myself taken in by the raw skill of the actors. There’s a mood and tone I enjoy, a somber twinge to the infected escapades that lingers from the first game. I like The Last of Us. I think there’s small moments of character interaction that express core things about the cast’s shifting relationships. James Howell embarked on a video essay series about this very thing and while it will remain unfinished perhaps forever, I suggest engaging with it. Suffice it to say, the changing language of Joel and Ellie’s mechanical interactions does a lot to underscore the narrative. I think players often think of the The Last of Us in terms of pure narrative but these smaller considerations reveal a game with a very natural approach to story telling. The Last of Us 2 has these moments and often hides them within combat. When multiple factions of humans and infected interact, their clash and the behavior of the AI tells something fundamental about the game world. 

The Last of Us: Part II is a cynical game with an unflattering view of humanity, a view that (in spite of Joel’s selfishness in the first game’s climax) feels somewhat at odds with what came before. It is, in fact, possibly the most cynical game I’ve ever played. That’s hard to talk about but it’s best expressed in the various dying barks of enemies or moments where the player is forced into violent, dehumanizing slaughter. In the former case, it feels like a magic trick. The first time you hear someone cry out their dog’s name, it can be tragic. The next five times you hear it, it feels forced. Like any trick, it’s never as powerful as the first time. You might argue that’s the point: that as you follow Ellie’s journey, the player also stripes enemies of their humanity and agency but the player’s culpability is secondary to the writer’s in some ways.

Players did not contrive to have Ellie rob Nora, one of the game’s major black characters, of her fundamental dignity before murdering her. Nor are players the ones who shove a knife into Mel’s pregnant stomach. Those are scenarios crafted by designers and writers, and much like how retroactively guilting the player for killing a doctor in the first game (An unavoidable action, mind you! Joel will do this regardless of what the player wants.) feels manipulative, calling a player’s culpability into question as Ellie fails to act like any sort of reasonable human being also rings hollow. There is a perpetual push and pull between players and controllable actors, best expressed in the verbs that we are allowed to perform. It is telling the more often than not, Ellie’s most egregious acts of violence happen outside of the player’s control. 

And yet there are moments where I buy deeply into the story. Notably, it happens when Abby is on screen more than Ellie. (Tangent: Abby has more interesting gameplay scenarios that lean closer to horror game vibes like what you’d find in The Evil Within. TLOU is way more interesting working in that mode than HUMAN vs. HUMAN drama.) Abby is also allowed more growth and agency than the script ever gives Ellie. At the core of this is Abby’s relationship with Lev. It is here that I’ve had my largest struggle with the game. 

Discussion about Lev has often bowled over transgender commentators.  For many people, Lev resonates regardless of anything the plot says about his gender. Lev captures people’s attention because Lev is eminently likable. That’s a testament to Naughty Dog’s writing. Still, there is a sense that Lev’s wider resonance has left some folks (particularly queer folks) without as much space to talk among themselves and hash out sentiments without the discussion getting overpowered. This is complicated by an environment where creators seem more empowered to directly speak to criticisms.

Which is to say that as a trans critic (perhaps ex-critic) watching from the sidelines, I was very hurt and dismayed to watch people who do not share in the transgender experience comment quickly about Lev. And while the discussions about Lev are varied—the trans community, like any community, is not a monolith—it’s sometimes felt like trans voices were made the quietest when talking about this character.

Many things are true about art at the same time. Lev can act, as is the case for some players, as a token figure whose struggles are appropriated and turned into spice adding flavor to the apocalypse.  Spice that allows us to be seen as we are usually seen: in pain and defined by that pain, and which displays that pain voyueristically for cis players. Lev can also be a kind-hearted and respectable hero, and ray of light within a dark story. Neither feeling is in competition. Some will find strength and inspiration in the character, others will see the machinations of corporate powers and award-chasing writers. Both can be true.

Enthusiastic fans and players are quick—not in a malicious sense; merely in their excitement—to defend the things they enjoy. If they found a thing good it stands to reason the thing must be good. They empathized and that is taken as proof that a thing is good irrespective of other concerns. This is a kind impulse but one that robs people of their concerns, or at the very least close off conversations quickly. I cannot properly diagnose this except to suggest that there’s a growing force of cultural positivism that’s encircled games of a certain scale. One which shuts down a lot of valuable engagement. The bigness of the moment, of the object, demands the moment be the Best Possible Moment For Games regardless of the qualities of the object itself. That’s worrisome to me.

The Last of Us: Part II has become nearly impossible to talk about even now because we are dealing with an object so large as to have a gravity that weighs everything down. A game with sublime moments that intoxicate deeply but one where voices of critique or caution are buried away largely because of the potency of that intoxication. I deeply wish that wasn’t the case because the breadth of discussions that might’ve happened would have been really valuable.

Aim Lab

I’ve gotten really into Valorant. It’s scratched an itch for a type of multiplayer shooter that I haven’t had scratched in a long time. My experience with the game itself has been good but the surrounding experience has been decidedly mixed. Suffice it to say I’m mostly living the solo-queue life and it’s a miserable existence even with the occasional highs. Yet, there’s a mechanical crunchiness to Valorant that deeply compels me and I’ve enough competitive drive that (in spite of the fact that the most of beloved social aspects of the game seem generally out of reach for me) I’ve really devoted myself to improving as player. Enter Aim Lab. It’s a totally free aim trainer that anyone can download off Steam. It has a variety of drills and exercises that can be used to improve a variety of first-person shooter skills. In one case, you might be flicking from target to target with the express goal of training your aiming speed. In another you might need to look at a group of colored balls, which will then disappear with one of them changed. You’ll then need to shoot at the different one as quickly as possible. You earn a score for each drill, which is tracked and compared to global records and folded into a ranking system. I’ve placed in the “Ruby” range for my rank, which is mostly in the middle of the road. (It’s a weird rank above gold but I think before Plat?) Mechanically sound with sloppy spots. I’m able to identify these thanks to Aim Labs. For instance, I know that I am fast and relatively accurate but that tracking moving targets is a difficulty for me. I know that I am quicker at things on the right side of my screen but also that I’m thankfully able to read changes in the environment quickly. This might sounds like a dry and rote way to approach video games but Aim Labs’ suite of repeatable and trackable challenges means that it is very easy to trace gradual improvements.

As a result, what might have been dull work becomes something akin to going to the gym. I can feel the ways in which my control over a mouse have changed. I understand which muscles need more flexing. Importantly, for all my weakness I also know strengths. Playing Aim Labs—and yes, this is play—becomes a semi-automatic and meditative experience like swinging at a batting cage. 

As a player (again, I hesitate to use the word critic anymore) who tends to engage with games on thematic levels even when it comes to mechanics, it’s been surprisingly gratifying. Part personal ritual, part labor. Bubblegum for the brain. Chew chew chew. Shoot shoot shoot. Take some notes and chew some more. Not much more to say except Aim Labs has surprised me with how enjoyable and relaxing it can be.

Necrobarista

Necrobarista was not what I expected. That’s because I started playing it with what felt like a safe-assumption: it would be comparable to some of my favorite indie “drink” games like Va-11 Hall-A or Coffee Talk. It’s hard for me to break down those games and how their structure—insightful conversations punctuated by drink-mixing and the occasional memory puzzle or story choice—works for me. I know folks who have played those games and bounced off for entirely understandable reasons but I love them. They call to mind some of the personal experience I had as both someone who worked at a bar and coffee shop. In spite of their fantasy settings, they evoke a highly specific and idiosyncratic part of my brain. Necrobarista doesn’t quite do that because it is strictly a visual novel. Repetitive work such as drink making is entirely absence. As a result, I initially found Necrobarista harder to engage with. It lacked the percussive but comfortable rhythm I was craving in quarantine. 

That highly specific preferential quirk/personal need might place the game lower on my list then the other two (the game’s certainly in conversation with them to a degree; it’s got plenty of shout-outs and references that make it clear the designers know the ballpark they’re playing in) but it doesn’t mean it is a “lesser” game in terms of the world it is presenting or the character you’re watching. Necrobarista has, if nothing else, some of the most naturally flowing dialog I’ve experienced in a while. That is partly because I’ve been sampling so much AAA stuff, where the writing tends to eschew the evocative for clean, crisp (and corporate!) staccato, but even in comparison to other VNs or drink games, it finds some more integrated and interesting ways to handle lore dumps. That’s helped by the core conceit. The lead character Maddy Xiāo runs a coffee shop alongside her wise former boss Chay that just so happens to serve drinks to the recent deceased. That makes it really easy to introduce a character, as the plot soon does, fresh off the mortal coil and eager to learn about life after death. It’s a common writer’s trick to place a clueless character in a plot so world-building can happen but because the stakes are high—the freshly-deceased have only 24 hours before they pass into the afterlife—there’s an urgency in the explanations that feels warranted. I could probably spend a lot of time breaking down the ways in which Necrobarista successful builds the world around the player. From a well-framed scenario and properly placed characters (an inquisitive child-genius, for instance) to the ability to click highlighted words for snarky but never crass footnotes, you never want for necessary knowledge but also never feel like your hand is being held. You’re not digging for meaning or piecing together arcane lore concepts. You know what you need to know, it feels fun to learn it, and the characters all make sense. They’re also incredibly likable. Necrobarista’s largest strength isn’t that the details are handled well; it’s that the core cast is deeply relatable. That’s important because the story moves from coffee to magic and death within a clipped 4 hour playtime. Relationships are clear, motivations clearer, and while some of the standout story-telling pieces are in optionally readable side-chapters, the main story lifted up by how eminently fun it is to eavesdrop of these character’s lives. The only glaring exception is a Greek chorus of robots that seem out of place and overly-chatty. Necrobarista sometimes feels eager to impress structurally, and that’s no more clearer than when these fellas are on screen. The difficult thing about Necrobarista’s literary approach is that the pandemic’s completely shot my attention span. It took my two weeks of on and off play to finish what is a very short game. That said, given the enormity of some world events I found it edifying and cathartic to engage with a piece of media explicitly concerned with death and dying. It wasn’t what I thought and I kinda wish it had a bit more happening mechanically but I’m really happy for the time I spent with this one.

Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers

Shadowbringers and Final Fantasy XIV in general is a difficult thing talk about. Not because of the accumulated history of a long-running game and storyline but because my feelings are ultimately swayed by a host of personal and specific emotions. I am a social player on a social server. I’ve spent just as much time coming up with roleplaying plotline and casually taking in taverns as I have tackling difficult bosses. I have made dear friends through FFXIV and even more than that. Those relationships, their energy and gravity, mixed into everything like an errand paint drop. You can hardly see it in the mixture but it’s unavoidably there. For many, this is a game of heroes and anime plots. For me, it has been a doorway to some of the most fruitful, edifying, and occasional painful experiences of my life.  I say this because I want it understood that in spite of this sentiment, Final Fantasy XIV is a good game and Shadowbringers is easily one of the most confident pieces of video-game storytelling that I’ve ever experienced. Which isn’t to say it’s not sometimes trite or predictable. It’s not to suggest there is something groundbreaking here. For all of the craftsmanship, Shadowbringers often succeeds by embracing the conventional. It sticks to more well-worn plot structures, it simplified job gameplay and streamlined a variety of features whose strange and un-sanded bumps brought charm to the game. Yet, in the streamlining comes something more refined. Like running a soup through a fine mesh sieve to create something creamier and more rich. When you look at Shadowbringers high level plot: travel to the corners of the world to fight monsters, all while unraveling cosmic secrets.. it’s familiar. Even as the patches following the launch experience did, as all FFXIV patches do, focus on the fallout of the main story’s event, it kept to a strict content release pattern. If you’re digging for a revolutionary experience, Shadowbringers cannot offer it by virtue of structure. But what has been releases is foundational. The writing is of such quality and battle scenarios increasingly playful that everyone should be taking notes. A core component of Shadowbringers success is how deeply the story is concerned with genuinely exploring the richness of the scenario. It would be easy to craft a story about evil mages destroying the world. FFXIV’s done the more straightforward version of that at launch and it proved stiff. Instead, Shadowbringers’ has a deep concern with motivations and takes unprecedented time to explore the interior of the cast. This allows old characters to grow into bright new versions of themselves, and it has (two for two now!) turned villains into more than just monsters. The writing exhibits a delicious empathy for the world, and it takes time to give everyone a perspective. In MMOs, this is not always afforded. Characters act as quest-barkers and clumsy plot chess pieces. Shadowbringers strength rests in avoiding this in favor of clear stakes both personal and cosmic.  There’s plenty to be said for other aspects. Masayoshi Soken’s music remains an incredibly powerful trump card, and the latest patch (which concludes the Shadowbringers story and sets up for next expansion) shows an increased willingness to employ fight mechanics that trick and test players in new ways. The content is challenging and full of tiny subversive moments that actually rob players of power they’ve taken for granted over the course of hundreds of hours. In finding its stride, Final Fantasy XIV doesn’t just craft sweeping narrative moments, it better integrates those stakes into individual boss encounters. There’s a cohesiveness, an interlocking of parts where each piece (music, narrative, gameplay, et all) are in clear conversation with the other and often in conversation with not only other expansions but other games within the franchise. 

Recently, a piece dropped on Polygon with the title “Games need to return to black-and-white morality.” It was, if I can be honest, a poor title for the article and one which left a freelancer unduly exposed to harsh feedback. But there is a core kernel to the article. To quote the writer: “Watching our heroes stick to their convictions, even against insurmountable odds, ratchets up drama, rather than destroying it. The concept that good can ultimately triumph over evil is a timeless one, and stories that rally around this trope — around unadulterated hope — can help guide us through the year’s ceaseless onslaught of calamities.“ Shadowbringers’s conclusion brought this piece of writing to mind. I’m ironing pretty much all of that piece’s argumentation but the notion that games about heroes have great efficacy in times of uncertainty shouldn’t be a controversial one. The crux of my favorite game, Skies of Arcadia, is that heroism is hardly a choice at all. It is a compulsion, it is a duty that we all must accept when the moment comes. Shadowbringers is not quite as simple but it is ultimately a story about hero defeating the baddies, and I would be lying deeply to say that there wasn’t something incredibly, nearly word-defyingly beautiful about the feeling of hope I felt in its concluding moments. The sweeping power of epic fantasy and heroism holds true and, like a genuine panacea, held a curative power for my soul that was not just enjoyable once consumed but frankly necessary for my well-being.  I’ve no clean conclusion here (and I don’t have to! ha!) other than to say that Shadowbringers has consistently proven a delight in a sea of rocky games media. It is affirming, exciting, and empathetic in ways that I was not expecting. That, along with the friendships I’ve made while playing, have secured its place as one of my favorite video game experiences ever. From start to finish, it really was a delight. 

------------------ And that’s that! I was gonna write about Blaseball but I need to let my Blaseball feelings settle before even trying that. Anyway, if you read this.. uh thanks!

[bisluthq]

yeah people seem to get annoyed by pointing out that karlie is really not that similar to Taylor? like it doesn't mean that karlie's lifestyle is wrong, or bad. in fact many people would probably prefer her lifestyle / see her as someone to emulate. it just means its ultimately contradictory to Taylor's. and irrespective of the nature of their relationship (friends/sexual/romantic/otherwise), not all relationships can last forever and circumstances change.

Yeah like tbh Karlie’s lifestyle is WAY more aspirational. Like if you asked me who I wanted to be especially pre 2016 and dodgy sis in law between the two I would say Karlie.

But like. It’s not Taylor’s vibe.

[alexstorm]

I don’t think he ever felt “true love”, cause sadly he’s too immature for that. I see Alexa more as an embodiment of his aesthetical fantasies plus he thought he found his equal in terms of intelligence - cause Alex obviously thinks he’s wittier than other peasants lol. She was just a TV presenter and something that today would be seen as an Insta influencer and a walking advert for fashion labels - so someone he disparaged in the past, but she knows how to sell it to appear intelligent. Her whole brand is “I’m basically doing what models do but I’m smarter than them cause I behave in sarcastic, quirky, nerdy way and don’t post the shots of my naked ass”. Also, that vibe of “efortlessly cool” she’s projecting is something that impressed him, cause he aspires to be like that. He doesn’t like to openly chase the fame but he wants to be seen as cool, which is why he emulates Gainsbourg, Lennon or Cohen, and often hides behind Miles. I mean I don’t blame her, she got the fame boost she expected from that relationship (like releasing that book after their breakup) and he’s an adult so he’s responsible for his choices. But it looks like he doesn’t even know what real partnership is, just being strongly impressed. It’s either people using him and his issues or him using others (lately). Which is why I think the healthiest choice would be someone accomplished but not in the showbusiness, with serious education, not just skilled in manipulating people with words or appearances. Someone that wouldn’t follow him everywhere and that he would miss while touring, yet without the risk that they’re using him for money or fame. But while he knows he’s too good for the girls like L, he probably feels it’s too risky to date someone “cooler” than him again or too independent. Now it might be boring, but at least it’s safe and he can stay lazy.

* * *

I’m not sure about him not having been truly in love with Alexa. She was his longest relationship and he clearly tried to make it work, even moved countries for her. I think she got the highest level of love he was capable of giving her at that age and time in life. Obviously it wasn’t as mature of a love as he would have now in his 30s or even later in his 40s in a relationship but I do think he put his whole heart into it.

I also don’t think he’s chasing fame the way his girlfriends do. He’d like to achieve it with his talents but as we’ve discussed before I think he’d rather call it legacy. He doesn’t emulate Gainsbourg, Lennon and Cohen because of their “effortless coolness” but rather because of their lyrical talents and way of life (women?) and he certainly doesn’t hide behind Miles.

I do agree with the fact he doesn’t know what a healthy, mature relationship looks like. I think he never learned it because he only had immature girlfriends. None of them put the emphasis on the important things in a relationship and he’s the “rock star”! He certainly won’t model a healthy relationship when he could have a different groupie every night. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t take responsibility but just that you can’t expect it from him. If you go into a relationship with Alex Turner, have very low expectations!

[dippedanddripped]

Visiting Asheville, North Carolina, in December, I walked past a sandwich board that read, “Synth you’re here, come on in.” It was a pop-up store selling T-shirts, mugs, and other memorabilia commemorating one of the town’s most famous citizens, electronic music pioneer Bob Moog.

This month, celebrating what would be the inventor’s 85th birthday, that storefront reopens as the Moogseum. It celebrates not only Moog’s innovations, but also those of his contemporaries who created the synthesizers and other devices that transformed music beginning in the ’60s and ’70s. It’s the latest project of the Bob Moog Foundation–the nonprofit archive and educational institution established in 2006 by his youngest daughter, Michelle Moog-Koussa. (It’s unaffiliated with Moog Music, the company her father founded.)

Moog, who died in 2005, did not invent the synthesizer. Instead, “he’s the one who made it mainstream,” says Mark Ballora, professor of music technology at Penn State University. He became a celebrity, and people used “Moog” (which rhymes with “vogue”) as a synonym for electronic music.

A classically trained pianist, Moog worked closely with a wide range of musicians to understand what they wanted out of a device for generating electronic music. His synthesizers found incredibly diverse applications–from Herb Deutsch’s avant-garde compositions to Bernie Worrell’s funkadelic jams to Wendy Carlos’s classical music blockbuster Switched on Bach. Moog also collaborated with other inventors–including digital music pioneer Max Mathews and even rival synth maker Alan Pearlman (who died in January).

With today’s software-defined digital media, it’s harder to appreciate the naked physics of early electronic music and the radical transformation that manipulating these forces enabled. “Nothing fazes the students now,” says Richard Boulanger, professor of electronic production and design at the Berklee College of Music in Boston, and a protégée of both Moog and Pearlman. “We’re transforming their voices and turning trash cans into drum kits, and we’re sounding like aliens just when we cough.”

ADVERTISING

inRead invented by Teads

But “when we first heard the sound of a Moog synthesizer in the late ’60s and early ’70s . . . it just blew your mind,” says Boulanger. “It was like the sound of the future.” Indeed it was: Today, Moog synthesizers are standard kit for many leading musicians, from Kanye to Lady Gaga.

MOOG FOR THE MASSES

The Moogseum packs a lot into its 1,400 square feet, including iconic instruments like the Minimoog Model D and Minimoog Voyager synthesizers, an interactive timeline of synth technology from 1898 to today, and a replica of Moog’s workbench.

Beyond celebrating the past, the Moogseum aims to teach future generations, including non-musicians. The central vehicle for this is the exhibit Tracing Electricity as It Becomes Sound–an interactive wraparound video projected inside an 8-foot-tall, 11-foot-wide half dome, created by Milwaukee-based media company Elumenati.

“What we’re trying to impart is that you are in the middle of the circuit board, observing what’s going on,” says Moog-Koussa. “There will be a custom knob controller, so that people can actually interact with representations of transistors, capacitors, and resistors,” she adds. “So that they can actually become part of the circuit.” (The foundation aspires to create online versions of exhibits in the coming year.)

This honors Moog’s visceral, even New-Agey, relationship with physics. “I can feel what’s going inside of a piece of electronic equipment,” the inventor said in the 2004 documentary Moog.

He developed that feel when he started building and selling theremins, beginning at age 14 or 15 (Moog said both in different interviews). Invented by Léon Theremin in the 1920s and a staple of sci-fi classics like The Day the Earth Stood Still, the instrument allows players to create eerie tones by moving their hands through electrical fields. Three Moog theremins are on display in the museum.

Moog-Koussa isn’t just trying to cater to people who are already familiar with her father’s work. “Our work in education and archives preservation, and now with the Moogseum, will extend way beyond people who play synthesizers,” she says. The foundation she leads has an ambitious plan to bring hands-on education to schools across the country. It’s finalizing the design for the ThereScope, a battery-powered device that combines a theremin, amplifier, and oscilloscope to visualize the electrical waveforms behind sounds.

This would extend the foundation’s regional education program, Doctor Bob’s Sound School, which began in 2011. The 10-week curriculum now reaches about 3,000 second-graders a year in western North Carolina. “We have 13,000 young children who can read waveforms and explain to you the variances in pitch and volume,” says Moog-Koussa. “And that’s just one of our lessons, out of 10.”

THE STRADIVARIUS OF ELECTRONICS

Unlike the college-dropout entrepreneurs of Silicon Valley, Moog stayed in school–earning a PhD in physics from Cornell in 1965, while continuing his theremin business. In 1964, he built his first “portable electronic music composition system,” later dubbed a synthesizer. The device was capable of producing over 250,000 sounds.

It was not the first synthesizer–a point that Moog-Koussa herself emphasizes. But the high quality captivated musicians. That was despite its temperamental nature. Moog’s early voltage-controlled oscillators, which produce the raw electrical waveforms, were susceptible to current fluctuations from the electric grid and to temperature changes. As they warmed up, the synthesizers drifted out of tune.

To solve the problem, Moog partnered with Pearlman, founder of rival company ARP Instruments. In exchange for Pearlman’s stable oscillator circuit, Moog offered his elegant ladder filter technology, which refines the oscillator output.

“If you start with a raw analog waveform . . . it’s a buzz, like your alarm system,” says Boulanger. “Are you ready to make love songs to the sound of your smoke detector?” He calls Moog’s oscillators and filters “the Stradivarius of electronic instruments.”

Moog’s first synthesizers were huge boxes of electronics stacked and wired together in a spaghetti tangle of patch cables. In 1970, he combined the functions of his modulars into a compact device called the Minimoog Model D, which featured a piano-style keyboard as the main interface. (Pearlman did the same with his iconic ARP 2500.)

The Minimoog eliminated patch cables but included a wide assortment of knobs and switches, plus Moog’s signature mod and pitch-bend wheels. It gave musicians huge latitude in crafting the sounds underlying those piano keys. It also featured a pitch controller, an electronically conductive metal strip that sensed static discharge from the players’ fingers, allowing pitch inflections like those of a stringed instrument. Invented in the 1930s, the technology is proof that touch interfaces long predate the smartphone era.

The Model D controls “liberated” keyboard players, says Boulanger. “It allowed a keyboard player . . . to take a lead role and be so expressive with unique new sounds that reached through and spoke to an audience, like a singer could, like a guitarist could, like a cellist could.”

SUSTAINED SOUND

Moog synths are so central to the music of past-century icons like George Harrison, Herbie Hancock, Kraftwerk, and Parliament-Funkadelic that it’s easy to dismiss them as the sound of the past. Documentaries and articles about the inventor tend to focus on those formative years in the ’60s and ’70s. Moog’s New-Agey sensibilities and lingo further reinforce the old hippy vibe.

But Moog continued innovating into the 21st century. His swan song, the Minimoog Voyager, was released in 2002, just three years before his death from brain cancer at age 71. It was an analog synthesizer, but equipped to interface with digital music equipment.

The synth sounds of Moog and his contemporaries have persisted though a variety of genres and artists. When I asked Moog Music–the company that Bob Moog founded, lost, and then reacquired in his final years–for examples of artists currently using its instruments, I got a list of over 30 acts. The diverse assortment includes Alicia Keys, Deadmau5, Flying Lotus, James Blake, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, LCD Soundsystem, Queens of the Stone Age, Sigur Ros, St. Vincent, and Trent Reznor.

Moog Music’s brand director Logan Kelly also called out up-and-comers, including trippy synth instrumentalist Lisa Bella Donna and the Prince-mentored, all-woman soul trio We Are King. (See the embedded playlist below for samples–or full versions if you’re a Spotify subscriber–from these and other artists.)

And despite the digital tools at their disposal, Boulanger says that his students are also pulling analog devices into their compositions–even modular synthesizers, which are experiencing a revival in a somewhat-miniaturized style called Eurorack.

Moog Music continues to turn out new, hand-built synthesizers. “A lot of the circuitry that Bob designed, we still look to that for inspiration and use it in almost all of our instruments,” says Kelly. Its newest, a semi modular synthesizer called Matriarch, has just gone on sale. The company also puts out limited reissues of classic full-size modulars and synths like the Minimoog Model D.

There are also mobile-app recreations of instruments including the

Minimoog Model D

(which sells for $15) and the

modular Model 15

($30). “It was a UI/UX challenge to capture the feeling and the fun of actually patching [cables for] this instrument on a mobile device,” says Kelly. Companies such as Arturia also make software emulations of Moog’s analog circuits, used as plug-ins for digital music composition. A 2012 Google Doodle even honored the 78th anniversary of Moog’s birth with a

tiny online playable synthesizer

.

And with many of Moog’s, Pearlman’s, and other inventors’ patents having expired, companies such as Behringer and Korg are turning out budget reproductions of classics. They’ve won praise from some musicians, such as Boulanger, for making the devices accessible to starving students, but derision from others who feel the companies are free-riding off the inventors’ legacies.

Behringer’s stripped-down reproduction of the Model D, for instance, sells for around $300 (without a keyboard), vs. $3,749 for Moog Music’s full re-issue (which is no longer in production). Kelly declined to speak on the record about Behringer’s and others’ third-party devices, but emphasized that Moog sells synthesizers in a wide price range, starting at $499.

CONTINUING EDUCATION

We don’t know how Bob Moog would have felt about the knockoffs, but he did work hard to bring music technology to as many people as possible.

“He would champion anyone and everyone,” says Boulanger, who describes himself as being “just some little guy” composing music when he met Moog in 1974. “He ended up writing articles about some of my music in Keyboard magazine [in the mid-1980s] and helped launch my career,” says Boulanger.

“When my father developed a brain tumor and was quite ill, we set up a page on CaringBridge for him,” says Michelle Moog-Koussa. “And from that we got thousands of testimonials from people all over the world about how Bob Moog had impacted and sometimes transformed people’s lives.”

But Moog’s five children were largely left out of that experience. “My father really held his career at arm’s length from our family,” says Moog-Koussa. She believes this comes from her father’s wariness of parents projecting desires onto their children.

“He had a very domineering mother who wanted him to be a concert pianist, and was quite heartbroken when he decided to pursue electronics,” she says. (Moog studied piano from age 4 to 18 and was on his way to a professional musical career when he pivoted to engineering.)

“We kind of knew the basics [of his work], but, at least half of those basics, we learned from external sources,” says Moog-Koussa. They also knew few of their father’s collaborators, aside from Switched-On Bach creator Wendy Carlos.

Since her father’s death, Moog-Koussa says she’s developed relationships with many of the legends her father worked with, such as composers Herb Deutsch and Gershon Kingsley and musicians Rick Wakeman, Herbie Hancock, Stevie Wonder, and the late Keith Emerson.

In a way, the foundation and Moog Museum seem as much an effort of Moog’s own family to discover their father as to educate the rest of the world.

“I don’t think we realized the widespread global impact and the depth of that impact,” she tells me. “And we thought, here’s the legacy that has inspired so many people from all over the world. That not only deserves to be carried forward, but it demands to be carried forward.

[thedisconap]

Marianne Williamson, a chaotic good, will help draw political attention to Granola ideas of love and energy

Marianne Williamson... I’m not sure where to begin. She’s the political representation I crave. Chaos is the only sane response to current world affairs. We’re lucky Marianne is decidedly chaotic good. 

Her tweets are erratic. She’s a crystal-wielding pseudo hippie, and that’s most apparent in how often her tweets include the words energy, goddess, love, and pregnant. It’s all genuine and crazy. As a woman off my rocker I’ll say this is up my damn alley. 

She also did threaten a foreign leader during the debates. And like, it was more smack talk - playful, jesting smack talk. And like, it was hurdled toward New Zealand of all places, which in my mind is mostly sheep and hobbits. But hold it there - she threatened to improve our schools and the conditions which children are raised (maternal leave? is only a guess). If we’re going to have a loosely associative idiot in the Oval Office, I’ll take the one who threatens better social welfare over the orange one waging war. 

I think we all also need to see that someone dubbed Twin Peaks theme music over her closing statement. Allow me one key smash: jkasdjkhawkjhkjadhksadjh !!!! It’s perfect. I’m hollering.

Now, I don’t want her in office. I don’t want her taking votes from who I see as the two (2!) viable democrat options. But I view her as the anti-Trump. Someone out of left field and a living parody of the thing conservatives hate about liberals: their bleeding hearts. Opposed to Trump, who is a caricature of Fox News brainwashing, Marianne is your unhinged creative writing professor, your decadent aunt with theatrical aspirations, your goop-reading friend who does tarot for a living. It’s unapologetic. It’s totally crazy. It’s... sort of a vibe. Like a green juice cleanse peddled via insta thots, laughing with/at Marianne for a second has eased my muscles/ internal organs of some accumulated political stress and worry. 

How candidates appear is of no consequence, but I do want to say one thing. She (unfortunately) looks like a reporter and not the Granola-women emulating Stevie Nicks seen at Farmer’s markets, but her appearance may act as a shield for Granola ideals. She’s a Trojan horse with a Brazilian blowout. 

Perhaps how Sen. Gravel is “running” for office - some teenagers are managing his social media and using it as a platform to generate conversation about certain issues - Marianne will get us talking about the issues that matter. The American psyche, love, the balance of feminine/ masculine energies in the environment, Cameron’s Avatar. 

I wait with bated breath because we will soon find out she’s probably Anti-Vax. If not, I at least hope she is exposed to be that Tumblr user who excavated human bones for witch craft. 

[naramdil]

Eleanor wang's style on never have I ever, I'm still obsessed. What is it called Hafsa do you have any idea?

i think it is so funny that you like her style lol this is the type of stuff that people used to wear when i was in high school, i’m not sure what it would be called though. i think it used to be considered more ‘indie’ like it brings me v myspace music listens to regina spektor and kate nash vibes. also v like mid aughts disney styling like a slightly toned down harper from wizards of waverly place. if you want to find clothes that look like that i would check out modcloth, i rmr that being a v aspirational website for ppl trying to emulate that style back then and i think they still have stayed true to those mod + kitschy vibes