#I can't help it I actually really love structuring things especially when it's related to a topic I like

[lieutenantselnia]

I figured the new year would be a good opportunity to reorganise and structure my art folder. After about five years of drawing, particularly the folder with my finished pictures started becoming a bit cluttered, and although I did have some subcategories for structure, I started to get confused. Luckily I had my Clip Studio Paint files organised by year, so I could track back when I drew what. I now reorganised it into folders for each years, and within each of that folder I have different subfolders so I can now even see how many pictures of each category I've drawn.

Then I thought "why not actually make a statistic out of this"? So I counted the files from all the folders and plopped them into an excel sheet. I think it's obvious what my favourite thing to draw is😂

Note that this is not the absolute number for all drawings I did, just the number of files! Sometimes I like to to alternate versions of the same drawings with slight differences (e.g. different background colour), so I'd have two files in the end but technically it was the same drawing. That's why the numbers of my csp files never quite correspond with my actual exports, however I didn't take this into account here.

The categories listed here are all subcategories I've used so far. I think most of them are self-explaining, whenever I noticed I'd draw more regularly for a specific fandom I'd make a folder for it. I wanted to save my animations separately though, as I never did that many I didn't become confused with the different fandoms anyway. Designs is for things like wallpapers n stuff. Fanart is for fandoms I only draw something for once in a blue moon, so it doesn't make sense to give them their own folder, as well as things that contain characters from multiple fandoms (like art challenges and such). For timelapses, I never recorded many of them (it makes my csp files become huge), but when I did I also wanted to save them separately. Also, I guess for my self-insert art, I could structure it further with subfolders for each of my f/os, but I'll just see if I feel the need for that.

I honestly find it really interesting to see my art represented in plain numbers, not in likes and reblogs, but what I actually did. Honestly I think 78 pieces in one year is quite a lot (though there are a bunch of them I never finished), but I also know very well who's to "blame" for this:

(He's given my major art brainrot in 2021 and I love him for it hehe💕)

The last year was a bit more slow and difficult, but I also try to not stress myself about being "productive" when it comes to drawing. Art is my hobby so I'll draw what I want, when I want. I have a bunch of ideas and inspiration though, so I hope I can execute some of them sooner or later :D

[asheepinthenight]

Hi! I read your IF for the first time recently and completed the survey so I didn't think I'd necessarily comment here, but then you gave this answer to the transformation ask: "I expect most MCs will transform metaphorically, but depending on your choices, they may get a few magical additions, too! I don't want to spoil too much, so that's all I'll say about it for now!"

May I say I literally squealed? I didn't expect actual physical changes would be a thing, so I just dumped that thought into the "impossible dreams" related to this game. This made me genuinely so happy! My MC is extremely open minded and fascinated by magic, so it's very likely it will go that way in my playthrough's case!

Oh and while I'm at it, since I'm writing already, I may as well ask something! So, I'll start by saying I love Hawk. I love Hawk so much. They may very well be among my favorite ROs in any IF I've read, despite the story clearly being in it's early'ish stages still. Now, thing is... While I feel like my MC has a pretty "easy time" getting close to Shea (strictly platonic feelings), I have noticed that in Hawk's case, the type of MC I have has less... "gentle" interactions with them. I don't mean Hawk seems to dislike my MC or anything (it doesn't appear to be the case) - but basically, my MC is soft and obedient overall, but also very responsible, and tries to manage everything as good as he can, be it cooking, not offending in any circumstances and what not. Basically, he's as non-problematic as possible. And from what I saw when exploring other choice options out of curiosity, I have come to realize most of the time interactions that could be considered closer to "emotional" are rather linked to MCs who are more clumsy and what not. Now, I'm not under the impression the game "favors" any kind of MC or that the relationships use "points" so I'm not worried per se, but I was curious if this will even out later on (as in, if some kind of scenes will be more exclusive to my type of MC), or is it simply that less "independent" MCs have an easier time early on due to Hawk's personality?

I just can't stress enough that I never felt as if my playthrough was lacking or anything! I just noticed more stuff when I read through some "out of character" options (as in, OOC for my MC) out of curiosity! And well, it got ME curious about the structure and the relationship!

I hope the question doesn't come up as too weird - like I said, the story is great as it is anyway!

I like having the surveys as an option for people, just for my own curiosity, so it will be interesting to eventually see how many MCs are hesitant to get involved with magic and how many are like, "Yes, I would like ALL of it, please!"

Those are great questions about the tone of Hawk's interactions with MC—answers are below the cut due to length!

Hawk is still very much at the stage where they think that MC will just be a brief, neutral presence in their life—no need to interact beyond the minimum. Just another being living in their tower, doing their own thing! The only big exception to that so far is MCs who are especially sensitive to their abrasiveness and/or prone to getting themselves into hazardous situations. If MC seems like they can handle Hawk's brusqueness and take care of themself (even if they're just pretending at it), Hawk will leave them to their own devices. But even though Hawk pretends they don't really care about anyone outside their tiny circle of friends (though it would be difficult to even get Hawk to call them "friends"), they very much do. So if MC seems like they're particularly sensitive to Hawk's whole... everything or are in dire need of assistance, Hawk will let their own guard down a little to help them without being too much of a jerk. It won't be too much longer before all MCs start seeing a softer side of them, though. More anxious and clumsy MCs just get an advance preview! MC's personality will flavor their relationship (e.g. MCs who like to banter with Hawk will see Hawk start that banter more often, and MCs who don't tend to banter will often get more sincere responses), but only specific, major choices will ever lock an MC out of a relationship with either RO. (Those choices will be pretty obvious and will probably even get OOC notes in the text to point them out!)

If you're curious about "points" specifically, TE doesn't have romance points, in the traditional sense, that will direct you to or away from either RO. In addition to a few personality variables for MC, there are a number of variables that track how the ROs view MC, but none of these will lock MC out of or into a relationship with either RO. They're specifically for making the ROs' actions feel consistent with how MC interacts with them. For example, there's a stat for each RO for the aforementioned banter as well as stats for things like trust and more traditional "romance" stats like flirting. Although some interactions may feel less romantic/friendly or may not appear depending on specific variables, that doesn't mean the relationship is doomed by any means! It may just be a little slower burn.

So this is a very long answer, but hopefully it helps! I see TE as more an interactive novel than a "game" that's focused on hitting target stats to pass checks. The variables it does have are solely for making the story feel true to who a given MC is and the choices they make.

[cyclogenesis]

The past couple of years most of my writing has been in the form of book reviews in which I'm, tbh, not afraid to be extremely critical (my two most liked reviews are among my harshest 1/2! they love it when I'm a hater) and now that I'm actually finishing a story for the first time in 2.5 years it is SO interesting the effect this has had on my fic writing. It's always been easiest for me to think in terms of what I don't like or want (usually in relation to life choices) rather than the more nebulous and broad aspects of what I do like, especially with a verrrry novelty-driven ADHD brain (what DO I want? idk lol probably something new and differently stimulating that I haven't come across yet) so I would think that would just make it more difficult to create because you can't build something new out of what you're trying to avoid.

But it's ended up being really helpful because I notice things like structure and pacing a lot more, and being able to articulate what I identify as bad in those areas has I think greatly improved my ability to step back and see a story from a distance - to see the whole shape of it, and figure out what I'm trying to say with it/what it's about, and thereby more easily see what I need to do to fill it out so that it gets my point across. It's also been helpful because there are a lot of books out there that I think are badly written, or have catastrophic missteps that should have been caught by literally any editor along the way, and yet those books still land on the shelves, while here I am over here like "what if people think I didn't completely justify the inclusion of temporary vampirism in this MCU fanfiction story I'm posting on the internet for free, and that the tonal shift from situational comedy to rough sex is too jarring, and they think the story sucks, and that I also suck?" What then?! Well, nothing. It's all fine, and as I know from seeing all the five star reviews on books that I think are an egregious crime against the written word, most people just aren't reading that critically, nor should they be, because who cares. Anyway, hopefully I'll get this thing posted before I go to bed tonight. Writing!! AAAAAH!!!!

[ceterisparibus116]

Hey! As far as I understand, in the US you guys have to do an undergraduate degree before doing law school. Do you have any opinion on what Matt would’ve taken at undergrad?

Also I just want to say that I really love your writing and your posts are genuinely making me consider a career path that I’d never thought about before! I’d always sort of dismissed being a lawyer because I’m quite shy about public speaking, so I never really thought about how much I like the law in itself. It’s so interesting!

EEEEEEEEE this is exciting! The world needs more lawyers - especially more lawyers going into it for the right reasons. So many lawyers just care about the money or the power (or their parents' approval), which means there's a dire need for lawyers who want to help people.

And I just wanna say: law doesn't require public speaking. Criminal law kinda does (you're pretty much always showing up for hearings and trials in criminal law), but civil law...not so much. Civil law has some hearings and depositions, but very few civil cases go to trial. The vast majority of it is sitting at a desk, writing and researching. Although you do have to be able to meet with victims and witnesses, and that makes some people nervous. (That still makes me nervous, actually.) But it's not public speaking, I think?

You could also try to be a full-time law clerk. Most judges hire clerks for only a year or two, but some take on clerks permanently. As a clerk, your job is 100% research and writing and preparing documents. You get all the fun of making brilliant legal points, but you can make those points safely on paper without having to stand up and present them.

However, I also do believe that public speaking is a skill, not just some natural talent. So I think it's always possible to get better. Here are my two absolute favorite resources on public speaking:

This amazing youtube channel (which isn't specifically for public speaking, but does address public speaking sometimes, and has a ton of general tips for building confidence, overcoming nervousness, turning awkwardness into charisma, etc.); and

This lifesaving book (which is the best book I've read on public speaking, hands-down, and I highly recommend it even for people who aren't lawyers because although it's written for lawyers, the content is overall about how you approach public speaking [how to both feel and appear more confident, etc.] rather than the content of what you're saying. I literally love this book so much!)

Oh, you also asked about Matt. XD

My undergrad was political science, so I like the idea of Matt doing the same just because #relatable. But I don't actually think of him as a poli-sci guy. Like, Karen is the one who's more concerned with broad social structures. Matt seems more interested with figuring out what he's supposed to do than he is with figuring out what society is supposed to do. Matt seems to say: "The system is broken, but I can help as a lawyer, and where I can't help as a lawyer, I can help as a vigilante." He's not the one invested in uncovering corruption or dismantling oppressive systems.

I think of him as more like a history guy. Partly because of the Thurgood Marshall thing. But I imagine him digging into the history books, finding people who inspire him, and modeling his life after them (when he's not angsting about whether he could live up to them).

That said, I secretly ADORE the idea of Matt as a math major. My mock trial coach in high school tried to convince me to be a math major myself, and although I didn't go that route (I'm more like Karen; I wanted to research social and political issues), there's a lot of wisdom to it. Math is logic, after all. And it's pure logic.

If I say "a + b = c," there's no emotion there. But if I say something like "police + poverty = ____" ...y'all already are having an emotional reaction, right? And you're filling in the blank with something. You're likely filling the blanks in based on emotion and anecdotes, since I think most of us have a strong opinion about this, but most of us probably haven't done a deep statistical study into the issues.

As a lawyer, if you care about truth, it's absolutely vital to be able to use logic both to make your arguments and to figure out which arguments you should be making in the first place. We can't completely ditch our personal biases, but I do believe studying math helps work those parts of your brain that can analyze a problem with logic and without using emotion and anecdotes as a shortcut.

So yeah, I love the idea of Matt being good at math.

[anulithots]

Random ask, do you love ChengGuang because somehow their dynamic remind you of SatoSugu and because both ships (can/have potential to) end up tragically?

Also, is there a certain story or fairy tale from your childhood that made you love storytelling.....

P.s

Hi, I'm new to your blog and until now your blog is the most unique one I ever see and your metas are so great (especially from a new fan of JJK). I've been a JJK fan for almost 3 years and I can't ever wrote metas even half as good as you...(Also because I know something in my mind but somehow can't wrote them down).

Thanks for this blog of yours....🌷🌻

mklJKLJDKFLJSDKL:FJLK:DSJFKLDSG J ALKSFJIADJFLKADJFDAK L

THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS MADE ME HAPPY STIM SO HARD I HIT THE TABLE /pos

Okie dokie, I shall address the ps first, because (a) thannkkkk youuuu and (b) there is a method to my madness.

As a storyteller, I see other storytellers often build characters in themes with the same sort of narrative logic, which can usually be predicted across stories (to a certain extent due to people's different storytelling styles, but it works fairly well regardless of which story you're looking at.) In knowing how to tell stories myself, I only have to work backwards to figure out the 'deeper meaning'

(ALTHOUGH, analyzing stories is only part of the fun. I see nothing wrong with reading/watching stories like poetry is read, with the words appreciated not for the content alone, but for the subsequent feelings imparted. Stories with ease of comprehension and that vicarious way of experiencing different ideas and concepts are - in my opinion - the ones that hold the true essence and wonder of storytelling.... mmm that was too fancy... hold on...

NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE ANALYZED IN ORDER TO FIND WONDER IN IT BUT IT'S FUN TO ANALYZE NONETHELESS.

There we go.)

In essence:

The themes dictate the characters, the characters dictate the plot.

The way I tell stories is to have a theme/question and use characters as different perspectives on that theme. The characters then get a backstory relating to that theme, one that 'teaches them' that certain perspective, which they will utilize to tackle the issues the plot throws at them. (the plot should also 'poke and prod' at the character's internal conflict to showcase and test the extent of it, but one can discern most internal conflict from the backstory.

Which is why JJK was sooo hardddd, especially for Itadori and Gojo - who get little to none compared to all the other characters - and even still, Gojo's takes some inference but someone could figure out his backstory... Itadori's? All we get is the faint idea of how his grandfather raised him.)

Usually for analyzing it's easiest to pick out the themes or main character conflict first (although themes can help figure out the main character conflict, so it depends on the story really.)

Take Link Click as an example. The overall theme/concept to explore is that of 'ambition and goals getting in the way of relationships and love, leaving one with the regret of loneliness'.

ANnnddd I have yet to actually write down my thots for Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi, but here we go. (characters have the basic structure of - perspective, and a desire and fear that contradict each other based on that perspective) :

Cheng Xiaoshi: he represents the aftermath of this, with his parents leaving him, and the loneliness and pain lingering through his every action. He then clings to the love he receives - and that often manifests when he possesses others - which causes him to never stop waiting for his parents to come back. Overall, his perspective is something along the lines of - 'the people I care about are the most important thing, and the ambitions and goals should support that'

(the best screenshot I have right now... I'm rewatching and will probably screenshot nearly everything.)

Desire: For his parents to come back mostly, but also to experience that same love and comfort again. He often tries to vicariously experience this through helping others. Fear: That others - like his parents - will leave him alone, and he can't face his overwhelming fears and emotions on his own.

He's silly and jovial yet also quite strategic (he figured out what's-the-brother's-name's powers with a word alone, and upon a rewatch, he does often try to deduce how to find whatever it is they are looking for, yet his trust for Lu Guang and the overwhelming emotions from possession 'dilute' that a bit.)

Lu Guang: ... his is more unknown, so I won't be doing a full analysis until I have more information, buuuut there's a lot you can get on a rewatch of his 'moment by moment' reasoning. He wants to protect Cheng Xiaoshi at the expense of everyone else, and he doesn't like it when CHeng Xiaoshi is in danger/is upset with him.

But my random musings for his perspective are something like: 'stick to the plan, for it's the only way for things to turn out okay, even if others and their emotions get hurt along the way.' (Cheng Xiaoshi is the exception to this. ALSO Lu Guang then becomes a REALLY GOOD foil for CHeng Xiaoshi alkajdfkjalsdf the analysis I will do of them later aljkflaksdfjas)

(I get to use dividers eeee)

Okay now for your first question.

Do I like ChengGuang because their dynamic reminds me of SatoSugu and they both end tragically?

... Initially.

(They both got that 'kuch kuch hota hain' (did I spell that right?) basketball scene.

(yes my mom wanted to show me all the classic Shah rukh khan - did I spell his name right? - movies and yes I liked the first half before female love interest got.... docile? More 'oh she'll be good wife material yada yada' and blah blah blah they should argue over basketball more... and yes I think the classic structure of the classic movies - being full of backstory and such - are better than the modern ones. At least the Dunki movie brought that back.

Anywho, my point:

If you got a tragic ship, they need to play basketball apparently. No I do not know why this is a thing.)

But to be honest... I kind of like ChengGuang better than SatoSugu, which is my own personal preference really. (Also the platonic ship in my story reminds me of ChengGuang, whereas SatoSugu reminds me of the way I cling to other people)

I like the way SatoSugu were each other's comfort people, the only ones who could understand each other, and how they both teased and comforted each other.

But they got... so little time together...

I do LOVEEEEE them a lottt, but like.... ChengGuang...

They get to tease each other and be around each other and aljdfaklsdfsadf they are just so comfortable in each others' presence and IDK they give more of a queer platonic vibe than SatoSugu does and er, I just love them a lot.

I would list my reasons but that would take too long.

So instead, enjoy the beginnings of my screenshot collection:

(I reached my image limit)

To be clear, I don't think narratively one is better than the other, and I don't like ranking things I like; I'm just weak for fluffy character dynamics of any sort and Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang, and Qiao LIng have my favorite character dynamics ever. (Not shipping Qiao LIng and the other two. ALso also... 'Cheng Xiaoshi, his sister, and his queer platonic bf get traumatized while breaking all of time and space' is now my favorite 'trope' and akldfjaksldfjaskdnfskdlfj.

BUT YES THE FACT THAT THEY ARE TRAGIC AND TRY TO COMFORT EACH OTHER THROUGH THAT is MY EVERYTHINGGG KLDSJFLKSDJF. THEY LITTERALY BROKE TIME AND SPACE FOR EACH OTHER.

Okieee after all that writing, we get to the second question!

What stories made me love storytelling?

I don't know if there's a story that got me into storytelling per se per se, because I've been doing it since I was little... perhaps Wings of Fire?

But the stories that most heavily inspired the stories I want to tell are these:

Song of the Sea was my childhood. It has ~ siblings ~ and ~ whimsical magic ~ and the soundtrack is all my comfort and nostalgia. The animation and the gentle pacing and the absolute wonder this movie is.

(I got the book recently and aijfaskdfaksldfaklsdf askdfjasdkfjasdfl, I love it so muchhhh)

What to say about the Little Prince? It's a masterpiece. The soundtrack is also all my comfort and nostalgia. The back and forth between the original book and the 'current timeline', the themes and the whimsy interwoven throughout, it's my everything.

______________________________________________________________

Thank you so so much for the ask!

[ikemenomegas]

To start off, I love meta-conversation, meaning I love finding behind-the-scenes information which helps explain certain storytelling choices. Sometimes this is disagreement among the creative team, sometimes this is finding out about deep-cut references in a work, etc. There are good and bad reasons for a creator's decisions to be challenged or changed. Especially in a serialized thing such as Naruto, even if there was an "idea" of an ending from the start, things will inevitably change.

One of those changes seems to be regarding Sasuke's character arc. I've read a number of metas in the past few days which seem to agree on a few things: that the overarching themes of children being the products and victims of a military complex was dumbed down or concealed because shonen jump decided it was too dark (and that a number of inconsistencies resulted from this change in philosophy); Naruto's "hero's journey" was meant to be challenged by Sasuke's existence, but due to the needing to keep Naruto as the hero (and perhaps again the difficulty relating certain kinds of situations in a teen-targeted magazine), his ability to represent change while also maintaining a forgiving and optimistic heart was sacrificed and therefore, Sasuke's ending also fell short.

With that out the way, these are some thoughts I wanted to post because I think I'm going to have to add Sasuke to my character list, and I'm thinking through things in real time as I read the manga… I don't feel at all bad about being more obvious about things the manga was probably only able to hint at (or avoid entirely) but those things will inevitably change the trajectory of things as we go on.

- I'm reading the manga for the first time as an adult, but I started watching Naruto when I was about the characters' age. It actually puts into perspective how the characters actually show their age really well. Sasuke's post--Danzo-fight adrenaline high isn't doing him any favors, but watching the scene recently, I really felt like there's a lot of fear on Team 7's side driving their desire to pull Sasuke back from the brink. They are afraid of what things look like if he refuses to come back, and what that means for each of them. The villages have also established themselves as a kind of safeguard against the free-for-all mercenary war that was the warring states period, and there's some fear there of what replaces a village system.

- Sasuke is jumping from grief-mad idea to desire, but it occurs to me (as I'm sure it has many others) that he doesn't actually have to attack Konoha. All he has to do is tell the truth of what happened to Itachi and have people believe it. Easier said than done, but there's a reason the elders ordered the Uchiha massacre to be perpetrated by one of their own. I find it unlikely that some of the major clans (the Nara, mostly) haven't considered that the event was village-ordered, but getting the information out publicly would lead to a certain amount of outrage. I imagine he doesn't do this because he's worried for his clan's reputation - martyr is better than traitor - but it would be super interesting if someone tried.

- Justice is hard, it's harder than revenge. The way I write him, Sasuke is loyal to Naruto (and his teammates somewhat) by the end of the canon arc, not the village. The village can't afford to give Sasuke justice (at least all at once) because that requires it to change its own power structure - it's a shitty fact about institutions ruled by people invested in those institutions continuing. A war is a great chance to make change because of the upheavals it causes, but it requires balance because common people are just as invested in "returning to normal" as those in power once things settle down. We know that this resulted in a pattern that culminated in a literal war against the past, but as we've seen so many times, even world-shaking events have a difficult time dislodging those in power...

- And that's part of the reason Sasuke leaves after the war. Sure, he wants to recreated Indra's journey in some narrative way, but this may have been was one of the only ways the author could figure out that gave both Sasuke and Naruto what they wanted. Sasuke travels the world finding faith in humanity again, but also trying very hard to bring justice (in the literal, not the institutionalized sense) to the people who don't live in shinobi villages; the people a little like the children Nagato, Konan, and Yahiko were, and what he himself became - a child who lived in a shinobi village but was not protected by it. Sasuke's "reparations" are to leave things better than he found them in the outside world.

Tl;dr: I think it's appropriate that Sasuke spends so much time away from Konoha given how the village system cannot give him what he wants. Also, if I went through what he went through I wouldn't want to live there either. Sure, he's intelligence gathering, but I genuinely do not think he finds a world ending threat every other week. He's tracking down those things, but I prefer the idea that he learns how to connect with real people again too. The Uchiha brothers are awkward af, they need to go out and meet/see real people.

I'm in no way claiming to speak for canon. This is just what I am toying with based on what I've read so far. So if anyone is curious about the ideas I keep in mind when writing Sasuke's bits, these are just some things.

[lavender-sunhaven]

So how do we feel about that update

because I'm obsessed

Sheds are changing my life. This is exactly what I wanted. I'm so happy.

(this got really long so I'll put my thoughts under a read more! spoilers for, the update I guess!)

I am speedrunning sheds immediately. I have already found some places to set them up and figured out how I can fit my entire crafting operations into 2 sheds. Now I just need to move over all the stuff in the chests in my one barn so that I can replace it with the shed and put the barn elsewhere.

Then I can use shed 3 for storage as I've wanted so badly so I don't need nearly so many hecking chests everywhere. Shed 4.... I actually don't know what I'll use it for yet. I actually have options! Maybe I will dress it up like a cute little room, or keep some of my pet collection in it, or fill it with stuffed animals, or see if I can make a cute little flower shop like Lavender would want.... I'm excited. I have options again. And assuming I can find somewhere else to put my other barn, that opens up a lot for me.

Also the barn upgrades are great. They don't take up any more space than before, they look cool, sure they give me more junk that I have to remove to fit more animals in but that's always the truth so it's neat. Now I have... ladders I guess. But I can store them in my shed!

But also. Nel'Vari barns. I am. SO excited

the moment I saw. that they had added in a frog barn animal. I knew. I would need Nel'Vari barns immediately. I love him I need 10 of these things right now immediately

All the new animals are so cute! I'm excited to get stuff set up so that I can put them places and gain their resources.

To that end, though, I realized that Nel'Vari barns were going to require me to actually do Progression that I hadn't done yet (because so far I hadn't really found anything I wanted that required Nel'Vari mines stuff. I knew I wanted to get there sooner or later, but just... didn't need to yet). I have a fire under my butt again and I'm actually making progress which feels amazing. Trying to seriously manage multiple farms is going to be a problem but what I really need to find a spot to do a massive amount of wheat production which will help with all the barns. It'll be complicated, but I'll figure it out.

uhhhhh oh yeah more RNPCs happened. They're cool! I like Kai, I've met him and I like his stuff so far as I've seen it. I haven't met Vivi yet but I can't WAIT to forcefully befriend her. Wesley is... Wesley. I'm happy for him. I'll befriend him eventually, probably while I'm in the middle of running around Nel'Vari doing mine stuff.

The house customization I haven't been able to play a lot with yet but I will more when I have my sheds figured out and money to waste. Playing Mix and Match should be fun, and I'm glad they're planning to put out more in the future! Even more stuff to look forward to~

Also now sometimes ghosts come and water my crops and I love them. Me and the ghosts are buds.

But also... this list... ohhhh man this list. I love this list. I'm p excited for most things on it but ESPECIALLY Farm Structures and WG and NV fruit trees. I LOVE fruit trees. I have a whole orchard section on my farm. Passive income is my JAM. Black market? Birthday? MORE RNPCs? I'm looking forward to all of these so much. Race-based dialog I know is something a lot of players have been looking for for a long time so I am interested to see how that gets put in! More dialog is generally good and they seem to have the personalities of the characters pretty well in hand so hopefully they'll just be fun fluff things and Lavender will finally be able to relate to Kitty and Catherine and they'll be best Amari buds forever (And then with Vivi too!)

Anyways I just wanted to spew my thoughts everywhere for a bit because I've been having so much fun again. Tell me your thoughts! Anything you don't like? What do you want to see in the future?

Bonus: Claude continues to have a hard time fighting the vampire allegations.

[whmp]

in case you're just here for the good stuff, i'll be tagging my personal ramblings as #whmpersonal so you can avoid em BUT this is tangentially related to the game project i'm working on, so stick around i guess? tl;dr: i'll probably make a more coherent post where I ask ppl for help (especially artists). also, i'll be more attentive and answer your asks faster, hopefully. : )

anyway, after a bit of a "review" of my creative process (and i guess my uhh way of living in general?) i've noticed that it's a huge clusterfuck. and that it has been since i was a kid. without some external pressure or an imposed structure (like deadlines, parents or strongly worded emails) i just sort of relied on random surges of productivity to carry me through life. on one hand, it's kinda fun: most of the time i'm not doing anything valuable and then all of a sudden i condense weeks worth of work into several sleepless days during which i feel like An Immortal Unstoppable God. lighting bolts shoot from my fingertips, my eyes glow in the dark, and my caffeine-to-blood volume ratio is hovering around 1.

unfortunately, it's not really sustainable. the "not doing anything valuable" stage that takes up most of my time is not me just chilling. it's me freaking the fuck out about not doing anything despite wanting to and finding myself just. not able to. not to mention that some things just need minor, but constant maintenance - at best i'd just forget about them and face the consequences later on. at worst i'd be acutely aware of them while procrastinating, clueless as to what's wrong with me.

couple that with a couple other unhealthy habits, a microscopic attention span and wow, i fit like all the criteria for adhd. i gotta admit i was super sceptical at first when doing any research, since, well. how the fuck am i even supposed to gain any unbiased insight into this. anyway, i spent a stupid amount of money on an official diagnosis (seriously why is this not covered by insurance gsygx), it took a million meetings and tests and i get a piece of paper that says i have add and deserve some medication.

this has also made me realize that i'm spread out super thin when it comes to projects. i love every single one of them, but im going to have to be a bit more realistic in terms of what can remain in "when it's done" limbo and what needs a bit of a push. the whump game is unique in that it's not just me who wants this to eventually get released. so! what this means is that it needs a proper, project structure. not a .txt on my desktop where i keep a backlog of missing features. but must important of all, it needs ~*people*~. this is the first time i took a step back and estimated how much time everything would take me and yeahhhh i was being very optimistic when i said "playable build in 2023" lol. i've been hesitant to ask for help bc 1. i'm stubborn : ) 2. im bad at coordinating stuff 3. i can't pay ppl - like seriously, there is one person making a model for me (if you're reading this sorry i didn't ask if you want a tag but this is just a personal post where i keep yapping) and it's looking so clean and professional,,, you gotta sell this as an asset.

HOWEVER im getting past the mentality of "i gotta do as much as i can by myself". and also taking meds so that im able to focus on tasks (both gamedev-related and others) and actually pay attention to what im doing. which is great news for development! and answering asks! ill be making a dev post where i tag all the ppl and will also ask for help.

that's it. im on a train rn and bored out of my mind so this is why this post exists, sorry. anyway check out this screenshot of a moment in clone high that i relate to deeply.

[tribadismes]

color ask game: 1, 5, 7, 10, 13, 17, 24, 26, 27, 35 hehe

Favorite color(s), and why ?

So obviously it's hard because i'm obsessed with colors and i love many colors but if i had to pick one it would be yellow. I've discovered my love of yellow maybe five years ago and since then it's only been growing and growing. It's the happiest color, it legit helps me with depression. Also I like every shade of yellow which is not something i can say about any other colors. I used to not be a fan of light yellow but i'm starting to grow fond of it, and even greenish neon yellow, my least favorite shade of yellow, can work in many contexts i believe.

5. Favorite color combos ? 

Yellow & blue, orange & blue, green & blue, red & blue, green & burgundy, black & beige, light blue & bright red

7. What’s your color palette (i.e. pastels, earthy tones, neons, neutrals...) ?

My favorite color palette is bright, primary colors : bright red and yellow, deep bright blue, bright orange, grass green. These are the colors i'm instantly drawn to, and that i consider part of my identity, my core. But I also really like neutrals, especially beige and wood tones in general, and earthy tones (khaki, burnt orange, camel...). I've recently discovered that i love the combination of bright colors with more muted tones actually, like on this picture :

10. Gold, silver, or rose gold ? 

I had a long gold phase for a few years but recently i've been tired of it and have rediscovered silver. I'm obsessed with chrome, like on bauhaus style furnitures specifically it's just... so good.

17. What color do you think compliments you best ?

Camel. I've had a camel colored sweater for yeaaars and everytime i wear it i feel like all my features pop.

24. What color makes you feel the strongest feelings, if any ? 

Klein blue and similar bright, deep, layered shades of blue. I've talked about how yellow has a strong impact on me but them blues are just on an other level. When I see klein's art in person, especially when he uses pure pigments it's like... It's like something is slashing down my throat to rip me apart. And I can't look at it for too long because i'm afraid i will start crying, i'm afraid i will get lost in the color, go crazy. But, in the best way ? No other color does that to me, needless to say.

26. Tell us about a color-related fact you like ?

Blue is the rarest pigment in nature, most things that appear blue don't contain blue pigment, it's the structure of these things and the way the light reflects on it that make us see them blue. How wild is that. Makes you understand why the indigo pigment was such a big deal.

Here are some fascinating videos about it :

27. Is there a color that holds a unique symbolism in your culture ?

Not anymore I don't think. But for example white being associated with royalty and aristocracy was I believe pretty specific to France (but don't quote me on that).

35. Thoughts on yellow ? 

Apart from what I already said, it's just such an underrated, overlooked, and even despised color in modern western culture, it's so crazy to me. While as you've pointed out it's literally the color of holyness in many many ancient cultures. I remember seeing a very interesting poll (that i didn't save because i'm dumb) where they were asking people across Europe to associate words with colors, and yellow was one of the least popular colors. Interestingly, the more you went up north, the more positive responses were given, words like "happy" and "sun", for obvious reasons. I also feel that yellow is way more popular amongst people our age, maybe because we're all depressed lmfao. Anyways my final take is, if you like yellow i instantly trust you.

Thank you so much for letting me ramble about one of my favorite topics !! Lots of love to you <3

[anosrepasi]

So I just finished my fourth read-through of Lingua Franca (and FINALLY twigged onto the fact that I could search you up on tumblr, oops), and saw one of your recent posts tagging The Old Guard. I want to know more, as long as you have the time and motivation for it, of course! I'm so invested in that universe, and so far it's only one fic. Please, if you have any tibits to share, this reader is STARVING for more info on this AU? XD

Thank you so much with your patience in my replying to this ask, @atsuyuri-sama I have been thinking about this ask since you sent it and getting super hyped when i finally had a week where i had enough brain energy to give it the answer you deserve.

First off: !!!! FOUR read-throughs??!? It's mind boggling to think someone enjoyed Lingua Franca so much to reread it three times. You honor me.

On to the question: Since you mentioned really loving the AU and the fact that it's only one fic right now, I think it'd be fun to share what I'm envisioning for the entire series, structure wise.

Lingua Franca (the series) will have 4 parts, one of which is obviously Lingua Franca (the fic) The rest are as follows:

Prima Lingua - A prequel/companion story to Lingua Franca from the perspective of Nicolo. The second chapter of which will have one of my biggest writing experiments to date and I'm very very excited to see how it lands with people.

Nolexi - What happens after Lingua Franca? A very awkward dinner, first off. The title/theme of the work comes from Rudy Francisco's I'll Fly Away which. I highly recommend, especially to any poetry lovers out there OR people who love linguistics.

Code Switch - This is my anthology of pieces set into the Lingua Franca universe that don't fit in well with the main fics but I still feel are important supplementary snapshots into the characters and the events. Here are some of my favorite snapshots I'm going to be exploring:

Andrew is just shy of nine years the first time he accompanies his father on a sea voyage. As with most boys his age, he is brave and curious in equal measure, and can't help but flounce his father's strict orders to stay away from the strange metal box speaking in zeneize. Three decades later, Andrew is cornered in an alleyway on his walk home from the docks. These experiences are related.

Quynh has learned after several lifetimes that while she'll do it for her heart, Andromache has no love and no patience for the task of braiding hair. Luckily, Quynh has an alternative for when she wants to do something complicated with her hair. If it happens to interrupt his reading, that's his problem. (She knows Booker secretly loves helping her with her hair anyway.)

The first thing Copley does, once he's triple checked he's lost all traces of Merrick surveillance, is break into Booker's apartment.

I've got parts and pieces of all three of these fics written but I'm not sure when exactly I'll actually get them published or if I'll wait until i have them all completely written before posting but I hope whenever the time is right and I get the rest of the story shared with you all, it brings you the same satisfaction as Lingua Franca did :)

(Also I adore talking about this series so if you have any additional questions/thoughts and want to talk about the series, my DMs and ask box are always open)

[starblaster]

I can't speak for op of that post but autism itself ISN'T solely a good thing. It's a disorder and a disability and while I'm happy for a lot of people who are comfortable being autistic, a lot of people are actively harmed by the symptoms that come with the disorder itself not just the social aspects of it and I think it's really unfair to act like it's always a gift for everyone who has it. I don't have to love something that makes it harder to live my life. I'm happy for you if you do, but I don't.

with respect, i don't agree with the categorization of autism as a 'disorder' to begin with. we are pathologized as disordered when compared to allistic people.

i never said autism itself was “solely a good thing”, i said i hoped the original poster meant ‘diagnosis isn’t always a good thing’ because autism itself is just autism. it’s not inherently good or bad. i didn’t disagree with most of that post. i disagreed with some of the wording, and had ideas i wanted to add in the tags. i wasn’t formulating a structured argument or anything. but, now that i am: 

i also never said that autism is always a gift, or implied that it is a gift at all. like, that’s straightup not what i said. my comment was about how an autism diagnosis is something i never wanted and didn’t need because all i got from it was trauma; what i needed were accommodations and i never got them. instead, i was put in “therapy” where i was dehumanized and trained like a dog for nine years of my life. and now i’m an autistic adult and i desperately wish i had some external support, but there is nothing and no one that can provide me with the support i need outside of the psychiatric system, which has done nothing but harm me. if allistics accepted and embraced autistic people, we wouldn’t be left in the ‘care’ of people who harass us, abuse us, and control us.

yes, i am comfortable being autistic. but my executive dysfunction frustrates me. i don’t enjoy having meltdowns. it took me my entire life before i began accepting myself as an autistic person, and all that entails.

it's not that we don't know how to communicate, it's that allistics lack the compassion to learn how to communicate with us without treating us like we're subhuman. it's not that we're "slow" learners, it's that allistics keep forcing us to learn things on their terms, at their pace, and in their learning styles instead of our own—and punishing us when we can't conform to their impossible standards. we have physical limitations that allistics either accuse us of faking, exaggerating, or they ignore our limitations completely and do nothing to meaningfully, non-judgmentally help us.

the world around us was built to hurt us for being autistic. it was built to make our lives hard by ableists. i’m not saying we wouldn’t still have frustrations and pain and hardship related to being autistic if all of the ableism around us went away, but i am saying that we probably wouldn’t experience nearly as much of it. the reason autism positivity is important is because it is not possible to “cure” autism. we can’t be ‘turned allistic’. allistics need to accept us, especially high-support autistics.

high-support autistics deserve to receive the care and assistance they need without that support only being provided under the condition that they submit themselves to the inherently traumatizing ordeal of having their very autonomy ripped away from them. they deserve support that isn’t contingent on how ‘obedient’ they are. they deserve support from people other than ‘mental health professionals’ who dehumanize them and talk down to them and hurt them. they deserve caretakers who actually listen to them.

and all autistics deserve to get the treatment and assistance we need for high-instance concurrent physiological things like seizures, gastrointestinal issues, and incontinence, too, without also having to be forced to endure the various so-called “therapies" (operant conditioning) that force us to behave and conform according to allistic standards and be obedient to make allistics more comfortable with our existences while we suffer for the sake of appeasing them. and we deserve the right not to work, like all disabled people do.

if we could get actual care and actual accommodations for things without the strings attached, without caretakers and healthcare providers controlling our lives without our consent, wouldn’t our lives be easier?

[2hoothoots]

Hiii Riley, I have a few questions 👀 Does Dogen still like hats? 🤔 Also it seems like he’s gotten control over his blastokinesis just fine (so proud of him) but are there still things that will set him off and cause him to, yknow, explode if he doesn’t keep his emotions in check? I’m also wondering how other’s perceive him if that’s the case.

Lmao I just think Dogen is neat I wanna know more about him in regards to your au 👁👁

oh my guy LOVES his hats. number one hat fan. he wears his beanie with like casual wear and his fedora is for work or special occasions when he's in his suit, but i imagine he has like a whole wardrobe of them.

moooore rambling under the cut

i think the hats are also partly a sensory thing, and partly serve to dampen his powers. i think in the au, he's got enough of a handle on his blastokinesis that he wears them mainly for the former reason than the latter? he shaves his head for sensory reasons, and he just feels more comfortable with something against his scalp.

(i have this whole semi-related headcanon about psychic pressure points/leylines on the scalp, which is why the hand-to-the-temple pose or the forehead-touch vibe check are a thing. anyway i imagine because of that a lot of psychics are very picky about like sensory input around the head/scalp, so hats can help with that as well as being a fashion thing. like i hc raz is very picky about it and that's why he wears his helmet, but also he can't stand light pressure, it has to either be like a firm squeeze or nothing at all so normal hats don't do it for him. if you see him pressing his palms against his scalp it's a big tell that he's really stressed lol)

uh but also, like I allude to in Face Thy Doom, i think a lot of his hats have a little tin foil liner. he doesn't need the full foil hat like he did as a kid, but sometimes his powers can get a little leaky, especially on a bad day. and that can make it hard for other people to be around him (well, except for raz, whose skull is thick enough that he doesn't notice lol). so he wears that to help dampen it, and i also imagine he works in like a small private, psychoinsulated office in hq, both to reduce outside stimulus and to stop him from messing up anyone else's day.

i think he doesn't accidentally blow up people's heads any more lol, but i imagine that getting his powers under control is kind of a lifelong thing. like we see in a memory vault, even in adulthood Compton struggled with his blasto when he was feeling overwhelmed. i think Dogen has enough help (psychotherapy, good support structures, etc) that he doesn't have those kinds of accidents, but it's still something he struggles with.

i kinda think that's one of the reasons he does fieldwork, actually. once he learns to weaponise it, he finds it's actually really helpful to have an outlet like that for his energy. blowing stuff up in his work life means he's less likely to blow stuff up in his personal life, haha. (plus, i think he was definitely... not cajoled, but certainly encouraged to become an agent. he's a real asset to the Psychonauts, and a complete powerhouse – out of the au trio he's by far the one with the most raw power. he can get some really impressive stuff done, as long as he has someone with him to help point him in the right direction.)

anyway for the other stuff (like how other people treat him and what can cause him to blow up), i wrote like a whole fic about this haha. the tl;dr is it's a blessing and a curse! he's learned to harness his powers enough to do some amazing things with them, but also it's a big strain on him, and something that he's probably going to be learning to deal with his whole life. it means that the ways he moves through life are markedly different to how a "normal" psychic would, but it's something he's learned to deal with by using coping strategies and having a supportive network around him and being aware of his limits/triggers. (also, if it wasn't obvious, this is all extremely allegorical hahahaha)

[thedeviljudges]

Gaon attacking Yohan parallels anon here - think the second part that didn't come through was just saying it's sad because the parallels show how far Yohan's come, which then just throws into stark relief how the same can't be said for Gaon, who's still attacking him for things he didn't do, specifically relating to Soohyun. Not that I blame Gaon at all, cos of all the manipulation and whatnot, but the contrast just made me sniffle!

the thing with gaon, and that i find frustrating, but is part of his character, is that he doesn't trust himself.

gaon has intuition. it's why he keeps coming back to yohan over and over again despite everyone telling him not to trust him. however, the professor and soohyun have always actively made gaon fight against his instincts.

it's only when he's given evidence that he thinks yohan is the culprit and goes to hurt him, but even within that when yohan is asking him to think about it—whether yohan has actually lied to him, you can see the cogs turning in gaon's head. he pauses more frequently, and he's almost at the point of wit's end because he just wants the truth, and he's being pulled back and forth.

yohan has always let gaon trust himself. he's always given gaon a choice. one of the most clear examples of that is gaon bringing up the idea of using gold to get minister's cha sidekick to talk. granted, gaon needs a little help, but yohan actually helps gaon with his plan and nurtures it to life. he trusts gaon with his idea—most likely revolutionary for gaon since soohyun and his professor couldn't even do that for him.

gaon has come a long way, although it is frustrating to see his back and forth, but i think that's part of the point. gaon has to learn to trust himself. he has to learn to be on his own in his thinking and making decisions for him and only him, especially when it's revealed what the professor did. gaon's been stunted in growth by these two family members with conditional love, learning to stay within their boxes because they'd leave him otherwise, and soohyun actually did it without listening to gaon about the minister's suicide.

gaon's major growth comes toward the end, and it's shown by trusting his intuition and finding yohan in the judicial building. yohan is that angel/devil on his shoulder, but gaon now has no one but himself to listen to—and while it sounds sad, it's exactly what he needs to be his true self.

i think there's a lot of misconceptions about gaon, to the point where ig fandom on other socials don't actually understand him and think he's an idiot, and i can see how frustrating he can be. but when you get to the end and you realize how much his "family" hindered him, it really makes sense because yohan, as a jesus figure, genuinely set him free.

his biggest downfall is not trusting himself, and now that yohan has nurtured that, now that gaon can do things for himself, just imagine what he can do and who he can be going forward. yohan clearly believes in him enough to give him the entire world—because the judicial system is pretty much a foundational structure of every country (not that it's right or fair all of the time, but it is what governs)—and yohan left that for gaon not just as its new hope but because yohan's always believed in gaon's capabilities, even when he himself could not.

[oswald-privileges]

ALL RIGHT BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

Power of Three as a series is just. full of weaknesses, most of which come down to poor continuity and structure. I'm not gonna try and fix ALL of those, bc that'd be laborious as hell, but I will pick out things that I feel are the most egregious as case studies.

What Po3 does have, tho, is an absolutely shining strength in the concept of its three main characters. After twelve books of Blandly Heroic Protagonist Syndrome, Jayfeather is an absolute godsend. He's angry! He's rude! He's unhappy! He's not nice. I Love Him And He's My Son. Lionblaze has his invincible pride (hah) and emergent bloodlust, and Hollyleaf has her moral absolutism and certainty. These are good starting points for characters. Sadly, the lack of continuity undermines what could have been three really good character arcs.

So! I present to you:

HOW TO MAKE "WARRIORS: THE POWER OF THREE" NOT COMPLETELY SUCK ACCORDING TO MY PERSONAL TASTE; A NON-EXHAUSTIVE, NON-CONSECUTIVE LIST BY ME

ONE

- Have there be a persistant, overarching series threat. Sol is a character with amazing villain potential who does literally nothing except hang around, and do exactly 2 Bad Things completely off-screen. This Is Not Good.

- Instead, have him be present from the second book onwards- initially introduced as a friendly but enigmatic outsider who is slowly revealed across the series to be a complete black hole of a personality, a social parasite quietly rearranging whatever community he's a part of to just-so-happen to benefit him as much as humanly possible. His "preach individualism not starclan" methods are not so much values as one strategy out of many. (to those who know me- yes i have a type. no i will not apologise.)

- Maybe his ultimate goal is to dissolve and centralise the clans or something so that he can live out his life as a political puppetmaster in all the cat-luxury he likes. idk it's hard to imagine overall stakes for this rewrite BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL DOESN'T HAVE ANY

TWO

- For gods sake you don't have a series based on the premise of "the main characters develop super powers" and then only have the second power confirmed by the end of the fourth book. I understand the first book mostly focusing on Jayfeather- his powers are obvious from the start, he's got the strongest personality of the three, he gets access to most of the prophecy plot stuff because of them. But you NEED to have the other two show an interest in something concrete happening to them beyond that, and you need to at least hint towards the other two having something unique to them even if nobody clocks it yet.

- Have Jayfeather tell his siblings about the prophecy by the end of book two at the latest. The amount of time he spends noodling around not sharing it with them is inexcusable. It's not that it's out of character for him to hang onto a secret for a bit, it's just that there's no point and it slows everything down. It would be equally in character for him to go to his siblings and be like "look, i'm SPECIAL. well you as well but ALSO ME". Boy starts off as desperate for recognition, what can I say

THREE

- Have Jayfeather discover that StarClan don't withhold signs or information on purpose for the sake of "building courage and faith" or whatever nonsense. Seeing and communicating the future is metaphysically very difficult, so interpreting signs and messages is a genuine skill, or even an art. The cats of StarClan, however, really are just ghosts, much more similar to living cats than the currently living believe. This is the impotus for Jayfeather's discarding of his reverence for StarClan, which remains consistent throughout the series.

- Have Hollyleaf and Jayfeather both still change their cat careers in the first book, but put place more attention on the fact that they basically switched jobs. Have a scene where they end up yelling at each other, because can't the other see how lucky they have it? The tension breaks when they realise they've both lost something important to them- Jayfeather his chance to prove he's as capable as a sighted cat, and Hollyleaf her path to helping her clan in the way she thinks is best. They commiserate together, and reluctantly promise to do the best they can with their lots, so they don't waste the path the other wishes they'd taken. This closeness is eroded over the series as they disagree more and more on the subject of StarClan and its role in their moral choices and obligations.

FOUR

- Speaking of Hollyleaf! I nearly threw my phone across the room when the first Omen of the Stars book claimed that Hollyleaf "worked so hard to discover her power to help her clan". Where, Ms Erins??? I would have LOVED to have seen that!! Hollyleaf expresses absolutely no concern over the details of what power she has/will develop, and only has a couple of scenes even touching on her ambitions to help her clan. She has some vague ideas about becoming leader and like one scene where she gets to do some leadery things, but that never gets followed up on. What does happen is that the whole "warrior code" thing becomes more and more a part of her personality (for no clear reason) until she snaps.

- Hollyleaf going off the deep end is something I wanted so badly to get into and be moved by, because I could see where it comes from! Her moral certainty is fascinating, especially since it's based in something as abstract as the warrior code- which, when you think about it, isn't really... anything. There's no concrete set of rules that make it up, no traditional wording or cat philosophers, not even any fables. It's a handful of agreed-upon, common sense rules- don't cross boundaries, don't take prey that isn't yours, respect your ancestors, and don't murder. That's it!

- So, combining the above points, I think Hollyleaf not being one of the Three should stay, but both the audience and the characters are given good reason to believe she is. By around the third volume, make it so that Hollyleaf has found that her power is to get cats to "Do The Right Thing"- i.e. what she wants them to do. She sneaks off often to see Sol, who teachs her how to use this power. Her siblings are concerned about this new power, having already gotten a glimpse at what Sol can do, but she's confident that she can only use this power for good. Volume-specific plot happens, Sol manipulates her into causing him to win, she is shocked and horrified, and vows to stick ridgedly to what she knows is right i.e. The Warrior Code

- However, the more fervently she tries to stick to this abstract idea, the less it gives her results, the more her power seems to be failing. Believing that StarClan is taking her power away from her, she becomes caught up in a faith-guilt spiral that puts her in the position to snap at the end of the series. By that point it's clear to her siblings that Hollyleaf has no power- she was just very, very good at persuading people to do what she wanted.

FIVE

- Lionblaze is a girl now because I Said So. This Cat Is Trans And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

- Her relationship with Heathertail stays the same- childhood sweethearts who are torn apart as they begin to understand the nature of the societal divides that exist between them.

- This can be used to contextualise the whole "half clan/outsider blood" thing as a cultural contradiction. In reality, inter- and outer- clan relationships aren't at all rare. They can't be, otherwise the whole society would be inbred out of existence in like five generations. But if at least one society of humans can spend a good 200 years pretending Sex Is Bad And Sinful Actually then cats can have persistant cat-racism in the face of all logic. Heathertail clocks this contradiction, Lionblaze doesn't.

- Her relationship-to-power arc doesn't need changing all that much either, other than starting much sooner and being more consistent. At first, she's completely overjoyed by her power, since unlike her siblings, it lines up so well with her ambition- become the finest warrior any of the clans have to offer. As the berserker rage aspect becomes more prevelent, she becomes more and more disturbed by the fact that she isn't disturbed by what she can do, and that she doesn't want the escalation of her power to stop.

- Tigerstar still does his thing, but Brambleclaw knows about it. He recognises the signs from when his father used to visit him, and tries to train Lionblaze in his own way. She ends up caught between wanting to be a good warrior, and testing the limits of her power.

SIX

- Jayfeather can stay basically the same because he's my perfect little angy boy and nothing needs to change. His arcs can be strengthened by having a more robust relationship with Yellowfang where they try to out-bitch each other, and coming to terms with his internalised ablism. Maybe he has a chat with Mothwing about faith a couple of times. Him furiously lashing out at being offered help transitions into an acceptence and understanding of his abilities more naturally. He never stops being A Grumpy Old Man.

- All fucking past-lives unexplained time travel goes in the BIN. Doesn't fucking happen. You can have that lore dump sprinkled across the books, or come from going deep into the tunnels and having a surreal meeting. Make it properly eldritch-level scary, shake Jayfeather's confidence in the idea of them being just a bunch of ghosts.

SEVEN

- Have the way Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight present very clearly as parents to the Three be explicitly, textually unusual. One of the things I liked so much about the first series was an almost total lack of emphasis on who was mated with who, and who was related or not. It felt very real to how feral cat colonies form, where raising kittens is a communal job. This gets completely dropped the moment series 2 starts and now the cats have monogamy.

- This emphasis on the family unit and fostering close relationships between parents and kittens is deliberate on the part of both Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Their aim is to cover for Leafpool so she doesn't lose her role as medicine cat- something she already gave up Crowfeather for before she was pregnant.

- In that little bit of backstory, have a robust reason for both Leafpool and Squirrelflight to leave the camp while Leafpool is pregnant and giving birth, possibly one that ties into the present day story in some minor way. I don't know how, it would just make that element of the story a lot more ground than "we left, the kits were born, then we came back and everyone was cool with it"

- When it comes to the "I am Not your mother" reveal, Jayfeather and Lionblaze are confused and hurt that they were lied to, but come to the reasonable conclusion that well, since they were raised mostly by Squirrelflight, saw Leafpool often, and are loved by both, they don't hate her. Lionblaze has something of a crisis over being half-clan, possibly initiating an attempted reunion with Heathertail. Jayfeather is more concerned with how other cats will think it makes him lesser, something he's still sensitive too.

- Hollyleaf, meanwhile, completely fucking snaps at the way her mother Violated Part Of The Code. It's a completely irrational reaction, but expected because she's been growing more and more reliant on The Code for the whole series, and less and less stable in her attempts to aid her clan and train to be its new leader.

- Squirrelflight is the one to murder Ashfur. This is easy to work out while reading- she's literally the only one of the four with a motive who isn't a perspective character. The mystery is less around finding out who did it, and more about why she did it (it's very ambiguous as to whether it was an accident or not). The main tension comes from who finds out when.

- Lionblaze is shocked, awed by how far she'd go to protect the three of them, and reassures her she did the right thing (as a way to salve her own uncertainty over her own longing for violence). Jayfeather makes it all about himself because he's Jayfeather- upset that he didn't know immediately, instead of, you know, figuring it out in a few hours because he can basically read minds. They try their best to hide it from Hollyleaf, who is already rattling around the final volume as a full-on antagonist, but are unsuccessful. This almost costs them something incredibly important- possibly Squirrelflight's life.

EIGHT

- the whole plot with the Tribe Of Rushing Water is a MASSIVE can of worms that could be removed from the series without issue. As it is:

- Characterize the Tribe as uncertain of how to fight other cats, because yes, they haven't had to do this before. DON'T characterise them as pathetic, doing whatever their leader says without thinking, and with ancestors who have Given Up

- Have some of the Tribe be really good at the violence. Worryingly good. Have others be sickened by what they're being asked to do.

- Have some of the clan cats reflect on what they've done. Hollyleaf would be all for introducing this society to jesus The Code, but even she might be horrified at being thanked by a tribe cat who can't wait to get out there and win themselves glory, only to be killed a few hours later

- The Tribe begin a new tradition of marking the walls in the mud they use as camoflage in order to commemorate their battles, and memorialise the fallen. One of the characters reflects on the fact that in a generation or two, the Tribe will feel like it's always been this way. How many of their own traditions- those that feel almost like natural law- started out the same way?

- Have Sol as the leader of the invaders, or maybe having insinuated himself into the tribe as a "mediator" and doing his charismatic cult leader thing.

NINE

- Cinderheart isn't a reincarnation of Cinderpelt. She's just named after her bc Cinderpelt saved her mother from a badger. this is because I think the reincanation thing is stupid and I can't think of a way to make it good.

TEN

- No more using tails as hand gestures like covering people's mouths. Never. None of it. It's expunged from existence.

Disclaimer: I haven't read Omen of the Stars yet, so I can't account for anything that might happen in that series that's grounded in Po3. I'm like... two thirds of the way through the first volume. I'm Not Impressed.

[1000-directions]

hi! i'm the college/uni anon – thank you for answering so kindly <3 also for being so honest about your experience bc it's so relatable. sending you all the love in the world!! but it really sounds so amazing, that you pulled through to where you got today. (I don't mean to sound condescending at all, I really wish I could go to trade school too) I've been dissociating and ignoring the reality that is my uni degree for the past eight months so this was comforting to hear. lately I've realised how much I need higher education, no matter how much I hate it and it's such a bitter pill to swallow especially bc I always felt dumb and that I could never achieve my goals, bc high school was very hard from me (not from the us btw) and uni is of course even harder. but I need it bc I want financial stability and bc of my terrible health I need an office job... just why does the road to having a good life have to be so hard? again thank you, I obviously wish you hadn't gone through all that pain but it's comforting to hear that other people struggle as well <3

comparing ourselves to others is so toxic, but it's such a hard habit to break, and it's definitely something i still struggle with. if i think about it too hard, i feel like a failure compared to the rest of my family, or compared to people i went to school with (it's my twenty year high school reunion this year and i will NOT be attending, obvs). and i'm not saying this is easy or instinctive, but i do try to more intentionally compare myself to...myself. and i can see where i, personally, have made progress. and i can define success however i want, and it doesn't have to be about school or work or anything like that. it can be like: i've become a better cook over the last few years. i have a few good friends who i have let myself be vulnerable with. i work a job where i help people and my coworkers respect me. i am pretty good at recognizing when i am becoming depressed or anxious and taking steps to avoid backsliding into complete despair. some of these things are just never going to register as success to some people, but they do to me, and i have to remind myself that that's important.

i don't know if this will be helpful for you, but sometimes it's helpful for me. sometimes, i think about the person i was at 18, and how that version of myself had NO idea what my life would look like at 28. and me at 28 had NO idea what my life would look like at 38. i have accomplished things that i never, ever, ever could have imagined that i would accomplish. and that means that there are probably things in my future that i can't even conceive of. things that i can't even imagine are still possible for me.

oh, and another thing i used to say a lot that i haven't said in a while, just in case it's relevant: no decision that you make is going to ruin your life. unless you like murder a person or commit a violent crime, your life will not get fucked up beyond repair because of something you do or a choice that you make. sometimes we make decisions that make things shitty or unpleasant or unbearable for a while, but almost no decision that we make is going to have permanent repercussions on the overall quality of the rest of our lives.

and back to what you were actually saying, i don't know what the education system is like where you are, though i tend to believe that everyone else's must be better than the one here. but here, most schools have some kind of academic guidance and support system, and systems to offer support to students who need accommodations. my therapist wrote a letter that i had anxiety, so i was allowed extra time to complete my exams in grad school. there were many times when i went to school part time while working, because it was easier for me to focus on a few classes at a time. my school also offered options for free and paid tutoring for students who needed extra help. again, i don't know how it works there, but if you are struggling with the structure of being in school, there might be people whose job it is to help you have a more successful experience.

i'm cheering for you, and feel free to drop by and let me know how it's going 💚

[sapphosvioletts]

i just saw something that said "knowing i'm loved and feeling loved are two different things" and like maybe it's stupid that this one quote has impacted me so much but it has. like i never realized this and now i can't stop thinking about it

my friends and people in my life tell me all the time that they love me and care about me, but i never really feel it. and i always feel really guilty for it. and i realized that the times in my life where ive actually felt loved have been the happiest, and even with the same people in my life, i don't feel that anymore. like i don't feel loved anymore, and in turn i don't feel happy

and i guess it just all makes more sense now. there's a difference. like i know im loved, but i don't feel it.

and i don't blame the people in my life. they all are really busy and have their own stuff they are going through, i should be the least of their priorities or worries. and at least they still tell me i'm loved. but i just don't feel it, and it kinda hurts

i feel like i do everything i can to make the people in my life, especially my friends feel loved. and i feel really selfish for it, but it hurts that i don't really get to feel that. and i can't say for sure that my friends feel loved or that what i do has any affect on them at all, but i really try. like i wake up early so i can talk with or send encouragements to my friends in different time zones, even as early as 4am sometimes. then i go back to sleep and wake up at a more reasonable time for my time zone, which is when one of my really close friends lunch is so we can hopefully talk. and then the rest of the day is just like texting encouragements to all my friends during their breaks from school/work because i know they'll see them since they're on break and have their phone. it feels like my whole life revolves around trying to be there for the people i love in my life, all day i'm only thinking about when they'll text me back or how they're doing. literally my day is spent just waiting for them to respond. like my whole day is structured around it. i try so hard to make others feel loved, and i just feel like i don't get the same amount of effort put in for me. and i hate even thinking that because like they all have their own lives, they have work and school and all of their own shit they are having to deal with. so i feel like kinda selfish honestly for it and i feel bad because they all already go through a lot as it is. but i just feel like i give out so much love, or at least i really try to, and i never get the same effort in return. and it hurts a lot

so yeah long story short came to the realization being told i'm loved isn't the same as feeling loved and it broke my brain and i figured out why i'm not happy anymore and i really just want to have the same effort given to me in return lol

and also i just got a journal finally, so hopefully you guys won't have to deal with my vents cause now i'll have another way to like get them out there and make it feel like i'm actually being heard and it's going out into the universe or whatever. idk my logic is weird i don't understand it either lol

but idk maybe this will help someone else who struggles with the same thing, it's really one of the reasons i'm even posting this. maybe it will help someone feel less alone and heard, and give them something they can relate to. i know it probably won't mean much, since this whole thing has been about how telling is different then feeling, but i do see you and i understand, and i love you very much, and you are very loved. i never want anyone to feel unloved because it's the worst fucking feeling in the world, so whatever i can do for anyone, any of followers or anyone who reads this, please feel free to come to me, my inbox is open and anon is on. and while i can't promise i'll respond right away, which i do apologize for and feel really bad about, just know that i do see you and care a lot about you, and i'll try my best to respond as soon as i can and do whatever i can, cause no one deserves to feel unloved and alone <3