#I could probably make myself pass out. okay that's my plan Z now I guess. (plan A is 'open my mouth and hope a sentence comes out'. plans

[running-in-the-dark]

...... fuuuuuuck

I juuuuust want to be dead.

that is all

going to bed now. taking my thesis and my laptop and a pen and paper with me. and hoping I'll have at least a couple useful thoughts before I pass out (I won't)

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

Time For Bed (Lucifer x GN!Reader) FLUFF

Random Lucifer fluff! I write about going to sleep way too much considering I barely get any sleep myself. Holy shit I think I'm projecting onto the characters. WHOOPS!

Anywhooooo

Word Count : 1.7K

Warnings : Nothing. Just fluff and soft tired Lucifer

How long had you been laying in bed waiting for him to come up to see you? A few minutes? Hours? You turned to look at the clock on the nightstand, rolling your eyes as another minute ticked by. “Dammit, Lucifer…” You groaned, kicking the blankets off as you got out of the bed. He was probably still working on some shit that Lord Diavolo had made him do, or he was passed out at his desk. Either way, he was overworking himself and you hated that he did it so often. There wasn’t a moment that the two of you could be alone, whether he was working in his office or dealing with his brothers, there was never a time where you could actually be together.

“Lucifer…” You mumbled his name as you tapped your knuckles against the wooden door of his office, letting your head rest against it as you waited for him to respond. You weren’t even tired when you had gone up to the room, but just waiting for him made you sleepy, and the thought of how much work he had to do made you exhausted. You could only imagine how he felt having to actually do it, and he deserved a break, or at least a comfortable bed to actually fall asleep in. “Come up to bed, please.” Your hand slid down the door and landed on the doorknob, still waiting for him to answer, or literally say anything or even mumble… just a noise.

“Work… have to work…” He grumbled from behind the door and you could hear the lack of emotion in his voice. The man was beyond tired, beyond exhausted, and he was still pushing himself to keep going. It wasn’t okay, and if you weren’t terrified of the repercussions, you’d have a word with Diavolo about making Lucifer do his work for him. “Go to bed, dear… I’ll be up soon…” Which you knew was bullshit. It was already two in the morning, and he woke up early too, the least he could do is try to get a little bit of sleep and rest his head on an actual pillow instead of a stack of papers.

You sighed loudly outside the door, mentally telling yourself that you wouldn’t leave without him. He wouldn’t leave the office though, not with you standing outside of the door, so you quickly pushed it open, crossing your arms as you finally took in the sight of him. His hair was disheveled and his eyelids were heavy. You could only imagine how many cups of coffee he had drank to stay up this late, and even though you knew nothing could actually happen to him, you still didn’t want him to get ill. “You can’t keep staying up like this. It’s not good for you.” You shut the door behind you before going over to his desk, shaking your head when you saw the full cup of black coffee right next to him. “You need sleep, Lucifer.”

He hummed quietly, but never dropped the pen from his fingers, scribbling across the papers in front of him and you weren’t even sure if he was actually writing legibly or if he was just making little squiggle lines at this point. Nothing made what he was doing worth it, and you weren’t just going to leave the office, not without him. You walked around the desk, grabbing his arm and giving it a light tug to try to get his attention. “Hmph… You don’t need to watch me. I’ll be up when I can.” He pulled his arm away, rolling his shoulders before going back to working on the paper in front of him.

“I’ll just stay here until you’re done, then.” You huffed loudly as you walked back around to one of the arm chairs across from his desk, flopping down in it and crossing your arms across your chest. Were you tired? Yes, but if he wasn’t going to get to bed, you weren’t either. It didn’t make any sense in the long run, and by the end of all of this, you’d both be exhausted because he was too prideful to say that you were right and actually leave, and you were too persistent to just give it up and let it go.

He finally looked up from his desk, tsking his tongue and staring at you as he leaned back in his chair. “You’re being ridiculous. What is both of us losing sleep going to do?” You weren’t actually sure what the answer to that question is because honestly, you both were just going to be extra tired by morning, and you knew that he already knew that, so there was no point in you saying it. So you shrugged, giving him a little smirk as if you knew something that he didn’t about your miraculous plan to pull an all-nighter with him, but he wasn’t a fool, and he wasn’t going to fall for whatever it was that you were doing. “Is there an actual reason that you need me right now?”

There were a lot of reasons you felt like you needed him right now, some of them didn’t actually include using the bed for its intended purpose, but you still needed him in the bed to do what you were thinking. The other reason was… well… you missed him. You missed being able to curl up into his chest and cocoon he and yourself in his blankets as you both dozed off. It seemed like it had been forever since you had done something like that with him, just having an intimate moment together in private, in silence. You were able to just enjoy… him… and being with him. It might not have been a lot to him, but it meant a lot to you. “I can’t sleep…” It wasn’t lying, because in a sense, you did find it harder to fall asleep without him in the bed with you, but it was also partially because you stayed up waiting for him every night even though he told you to get some sleep before he came up because it would be a while.

He let out a small chuckle, pushing his chair away from the desk as he got up, shaking his head. “You made this whole thing about me when it was you who couldn’t sleep. I think I have something for that…” Your eyes narrowed as you watched him walk to the bookshelf that lined the wall. What was he going to do? Was there a spell that would knock you out, or did he have a secret bottle of Z-Quil hidden in the pages of one of his books? That wasn’t the main thing though, what you couldn’t stop thinking about was how absolutely clueless he was, or at least, pretended to be. How could he not piece everything that you had said together? Maybe his brain was fried from working so much that he was unable to pick up the hints that you were dropping.

With a loud sigh, you got up from your own seat and walked over to him, grabbing his hand as he reached for a book. “I can’t sleep because you’re not there…” You didn’t actually want to put it so bluntly, it was kind of embarrassing to admit things like that, especially to him. You watched his face, waiting for his reaction, and as you watched him you could have sworn that you saw his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. His hand dropped as he turned to look at you completely, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It wasn’t the usual smile you’d receive for something like this, usually he’d be smug and smirk at you while giving a witty, subtle remark about how he knows just the way to help get you to sleep. This time was different though, and it was most likely due to him being so tired.

“What kind of demon would I be to deny my darling a good night's sleep?” The question kind of threw you off because in terms of demons… he’d be a pretty good one to make you not have a good night’s sleep, but you knew what he meant and you didn’t want to ruin the moment by being a smartass. His hands moved to your hips, pulling you lightly to bring you closer to him as he leaned in to rest his forehead against your own. “Let’s get some sleep. I guess we both need it.” You hummed quietly in response, and once his hands were dropped you reached out to grab one of his to lead him out of the office. If you turned your back on him and started walking by yourself, he’d probably go back to his desk and continue working, and you weren’t going to let that happen.

Both of your movements were slow, your feet practically dragged across the floor as you walked up the stairs to his room. The fact that neither of you fell or tripped up the stairs or ran into anything is shocking considering both of you could barely keep your eyes open. By the time you were in the room all you wanted to do was fall into the bed with him, cover up, and pass out. “Are you gonna-” You hadn’t had time to finish your question, which probably didn’t matter at the moment, but you knew it would be uncomfortable for him to fall asleep in what he was wearing, but apparently he didn’t care, or he was just too tired to care right then.

He fell face first onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow. It didn’t take long for the soft sound of snoring to fill the room, and the sound of it made you smile to yourself. He was finally getting some decent sleep, and if anyone deserved it, it was him. You climbed into the bed next to him, pulling the covers up around you as your eyes started to fully close. You’d both get a good night’s sleep together, and that’s all you really wanted.

[reidyoulikeabook]

M is for Maybe One Day

Ship: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid

Warnings: Discussion of marriage and children.

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: Spencer and reader have a conversation about their future.

A/N: This is the angst free version of part M! If you’re looking for the version that contains angst, that’s here. This is the main scene from the story and is designed so that people who don’t feel comfortable with the potentially upsetting content from the angst-version are still able to enjoy this version. Let me know what you think! :)

Part of The A-Z of Spencer Reid but works as a stand-alone.

You’re awake before Spencer is. You don’t want to risk waking him up by disentangling yourself, so you stay right where you are, unsure of what time it is. You’re infinitely happier curled up in his arms than you would be by being bestowed with that knowledge.

It can only be early, anyhow. There’s only a trickle of light pooling under the curtains. The big living room light got left on last night, you knew Spencer needed it to keep the darkness at bay. It pokes into the room through the gap in the not-quite-closed door, allowing you to get a relatively good look at him.

His hair is a wreck. Even in sleep, you can see the bags firmly indented under his eyes. His mouth is open. No snores come out, only tiny breaths escape the lips formed into an ‘o’ shape.

He looks peaceful.

Unencumbered by any of the worries from yesterday. You close your eyes, deciding that getting a few more hours sleep can’t hurt.

It’s then that he moves. He wiggles his fingers, more than likely trying to wake up the arm that’s gone dead with you lying on it. You open your eyes, and his face floods with guilt. The exact face he makes when you find him hobbling around the apartment without his crutches.

“Sorry,” He squeaks, “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“I was awake already,” You reassure him, adjusting your position so that he can move his arm, “Did you sleep well?”

He visibly relaxes, his voice raspy with sleep, “I slept okay. Better because you were here.”

You hum. Opening your arms, you nod for him to move. He does, coming to settle himself with his head resting on your chest. There’s a peaceful lull. The residents of Virginia aren’t awake yet, so you’re enveloped in the kind of quiet that only comes with the early hours of the morning. No cars racing past or mothers upstairs on a mission to suck every piece of dust out of their apartment, and potentially yours too.

You feel the low rumble of his throat before you hear it, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You’re not quite sure how long you lie like that. In this liminal space between asleep and wakefulness, night and morning. Your brain starts to wander, trying to settle on anything to use as a rope to escape the reality of last night that bites at your ankles.

For some reason, it settles on Derek. The image of him at his desk.

Planning to raise the next generation of Einsteins?

“I was thinking,” You murmur, playing with a piece of his hair, “I was talking to Derek last week. He was talking about Garcia, and how they’ve spoken about having kids. I mean, I know they’ve been together a lot longer but, it got me thinking.”

He pulls back. For a moment, you’re afraid you’ve gone too far. Then he swallows, his lips curling upwards into a small smile.

“Would you want to-” He cuts himself off, clearing his throat, “Would that be something you could see yourself wanting someday? To marry me?”

“I’d love to marry you,” You tell him, lifting your fingers to his face to trace over the familiar lines of his cheekbones, the points of his face a dot-to-dot you could connect in your sleep.

He smiles, “Would you be Mrs Reid?”

“Of course I’d be Mrs Reid. I’d hate to disappoint the aquarium.”

“Well in that case-” He pretends to move, as if to shift towards the bedside table.

“You don’t have a ring in there.”

“Not yet.”

“It’d be a bad place to keep it.”

“Or it might work as a double bluff.”

“I know your bluffs. Double or triple or quadruple.”

He scrunches his nose, “I don’t think I’ve ever quadruple bluffed.”

“You might one day.”

“I suppose if you’re going to be Mrs Reid you’ll get the chance to find out.”

"I’d like to be Mrs Reid,” You tell him, sincere once more, “I can’t imagine myself ever being with anybody else.”

“I can’t imagine what my life would look like without you in it now,” He says, his voice painfully earnest, cracking a bit at the end.

“Neither can I.”

There’s a shift in atmosphere. Small but significant, one that has you staring at him. Trying to piece together how this ended up being your life. How you went from co-workers at desks next to one another exchanging pleasantries, a man you called Dr Reid for the first week of knowing him until he cracked and insisted you called him Spencer. How you transformed from that to this, caterpillars entering a caramel chrysillis and making it out the other side, soaring through near death experiences and aquarium trips and job offers at Caltech.

There’s been a lot, really.

He interrupts your thoughts, so softly it barely jolts you, “I-I’ve known it for a while now. I’m not sure when I realised but I think that, that we just make it work.”

“We do,” You agree, “That’s what I said to Derek. I think we just understand each other.”

“I never really felt like anybody ever understood me,” He mumbles, his voice dropping as it becomes more sincere, shifting his face more into the pillow, “My whole life I um, I sort of felt out of place. I didn’t always understand peoples jokes or know how to talk to them. I didn’t think I’d ever find somewhere I felt like I belonged.”

His voice wavers. You kiss the top of his forehead, not interrupting, just reassuring.

He continues, “Joining the BAU changed things. Meeting Morgan and Garcia especially. They made me feel like, for the first time in my life, I had friends. Who weren’t annoyed by everything that I said.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” You tell him, your hand coming to rest at the nape of his neck to play with the stray hairs there, “You never do and I understand why. But you’re more than smart. I love your brain, and your memory, and I admire all of that. But you’re also thoughtful,” You punctuate each assertion with a kiss to his knuckles, “And kind. And funny. And you make me feel so loved.”

He sniffles a bit, lifting his head. You can see the tears sparkling in his eyes, and you bring your interlocked hand to his chin, your thumb resting there. He swallows, and you pause for a moment before speaking again.

“And if I was ever going to have a family, there’s nobody I’d rather do it with than you.”

“Really?” He’s winded by the assertion, his breath catching in his throat, “You’d want a family with me?”

“Of course I do. love you. You’d make the most amazing dad in the world Spence.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I know so. Look at how you are with Henry and Jack. You’re the best Uncle ever,” You murmur, “Raising kids with you is the best decision I could make.”

He‘s quiet. Soaking it in. He holds you tighter against his body, essentially putting you back into your place against his neck. The comforting scent of him, and the feeling of his big hands rubbing steady circles on your back, is grounding in the extreme.

Though you’re soothed, you can tell when he’s thinking. His jaw tightens, just a little bit. As if he’s chewing the words. Trying to decide whether to swallow them or let them slip out.

“I think I’d um, I’d retire.”

Slip out.

“You’d what?” You try to keep the surprise out of your voice but it filters through.

“I’d probably um, I’d probably look into teaching. I don’t think I could ever leave our children. Not,” He sniffles, and you know without looking that there’s a tear making its way down his cheek, “Not when there’s a chance I might not come home. I couldn’t do that to them.”

“Okay,” You say, “I’d support you whatever you wanted to do. I was only surprised because I know how much you love the job.”

“You love yours too. I’d never expect you to give it up so we could have children. Not unless you wanted to.”

Of course that’s part of it.

“I know,” You reply, “I know. I guess I wasn’t thinking about the practicality of it. But I know what you mean.”

He swallows, “It’s more than that. I just um. I’d want to be around. All the time.”

There’s a beat of silence, and you can tell there’s more he’s not saying. You adorn his Adam’s apple with a soft kiss, and he lets out a puffy exhale.

“I um, I never thought that this is something I’d get to want. Kids and a wife and a family. Now that it is, now that I get the chance,” He trails off, swallowing, “Now that I have that chance I would never do anything to risk losing it. Or missing a single moment of it. I want to give them a happy childhood. I want to teach them to play chess and watch cartoons on a Sunday and just give them...give them a lifetime of good memories. Not a lifetime of them staring at the door wondering if I’m going to make it home.”

He wants to give them what he never had.

Shifting, you adjust, looking him in the eyes. A tear is making its way down his cheekbone, one you thumb away. Cradling his face in your hands, you can’t help but smile. They aren’t sad tears like you’d expected, his eyes gleam with pure adoration. He’s not sad about the past. He’s happy about the future.

The realisation brings a tear to your eyes, and you can barely get the words out past the lump in your throat, “Maybe one day we’ll be waking up on Saturdays to take our kids to the park.”

The love in his eyes is mirrored and magnified in your own. You can’t be certain whether it’s that or your words that coax another tear out of his eye, but it’s barely passed the bridge of his nose before he’s giving you the biggest wateriest smile, “I’m looking forward to that day.”

So am I.

-

Next part: N is for New Place (i promise it’s onwards and upwards from here!!)

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

here’s 5.7k of the unsinkable 8 during the zombie apocalypse. good for fans of leatin and goodfoe. it’s super unedited and i’m mainly just posting it for fun cause i finished it today. some references to world war z the book for fun, and i used the zombies from that too.

A flash of blonde and Dot’s gun went up, pointed directly at the head of whatever made their way toward her. She had two bullets left, six cigarettes, and the last mini of hard liquor she raided from the motel back in Aquilla.

She’d have to get it in one shot, which would be hard sitting down, with her back to it, half delirious.

She grunted as she pulled herself around, her leg still out in the makeshift splint. The zed crept closer, not going at the usual hobbling pace. It definitely had caught her scent though, maybe it was down a few limbs already.

She cocked her gun, flicking off the safety, keeping her finger off the trigger. She’d wait until she could see the whites of its eyes. Get it in one shot.

The blonde head crept closer and she finally tucked her gun over the rocks, making eye contact with it for the first time.

“Shelby Goodkind?”

“Dot Campbell?”

Shelby stared at her, lowering her own gun and Dot let out a breath of relief.

“Dottie, oh my god, I thought you were one of ‘em.” She put away her gun, Dot doing the same and she ran over. “It’s so good to see ya, what’s wrong?” She looked at the leg, her face paling.

“Ankles broken,” Dottie muttered. “Was gonna treat myself to one last drink,” she gestured at the bottle.

“Oh lord,” Shelby said. “Well that’s no good, I got a place not to far from here I’ve been camping out in. Some first aid stuff too.”

“I can’t give you anything back for it,” Dot said.

“We both know two people are more likely to make it,” Shelby said.

She looked sunburned and hollowed out, a little hungrier than the last time Dot saw her, headed with her family to that military base. She was alone, and desperate, everyone was. Because here was how it went in Texas. You could trust a stranger as far as you could throw ‘em, but you needed people to live. So if you had people, you lived. And Dot was people, or as close to people as Shelby was willing to get. She musta lost a lot to lower her standards so far.

“Alright,” Dot said. “We’re gonna have to go slow and you’re gonna have to carry a lot of shit.”

“No problem,” Shelby beamed.

Back at the camp, an old rusting trailer with some battery Shelby told her she was saving for a rainy day, Shelby re-splinted her, fed and watered her, and they pooled their resources. Twenty-six cigs now, which might get ‘em a few hours in a safe car north, if they wanted it. Or it might get ‘em some food, or a get out of jail free card, depending on the hunger of the people hunting ‘em.

It was late at night when Dot realized she hadn’t even asked yet.

“Family’s gone then?”

“Yeah,” Shelby said. “You?”

“My dad died before this shit show,” Dot said.

“Lucky,” Shelby said. She took a swig from the mini, and passed it over to Dot. “What’s your plan?”

“I heard there was a safer spot near San Antonio,” Dot said. “Running water and shit.”

Shelby shook her head, “Gone, three weeks ago. Heard it on the radio.”

Dot nodded, “What about you?”

“Radio said Hawaii’s better,” Shelby said. “There’s an operation ferrying people there on the west coast. It’s a thousand cigs per person. But there’s work by the dock if you’re willing to do it.”

“Work for you?” Dot asked.

Shelby’s jaw tightened, “I’ll do what I have to do. Lord forgive me.”

Dot sighed, “Sounds like we go west then.”

They hung around in the trailer for three days, pushing the limits of what was safe, and stumbled on to a new place in the area at daybreak on the fourth day. Dot’s ankle wasn’t broken, with the inflatable cast Shelby had in a week or so she’d be something regarding useful, and as long as she didn’t push herself she’d be more than fine.

Spending time with Shelby Goodkind was another story. For one thing, despite the zombie apocalypse, complete destruction of their lives and modern society, the death of her family and everyone in their town, Shelby was still good and kind. She’d clutch at the cross around her neck every time they’d pass a body, and would never touch one, even the ones that were recent and obviously not stripped clean. It made Dot kinda mad, she found five cigs just walking, and she wondered how many Shelby passed off being squeamish.

But Shelby also wasn’t squeamish, wasn’t afraid to take down a zed with a kitchen knife, and with that same hand wipe the gore off Dot all gentle. She called her Dottie, gave her the last blanket, and always volunteered for the first shift so Dot could watch the sunrise. Dot hadn’t been cared for in a long while, hadn’t been around people in even longer. She decided she might love it.

But Shelby was a magnet, always had been, she talked about god’s light long enough that she got Dot believing it all fell on her. It wasn’t a real surprise when she showed up with a stray.

“What the fuck,” Dot said. “Did you kidnap a child?”

“I did not kidnap a child,” Shelby said, picking the girl up with some difficulty and lifting her onto the backseat of the broken down minivan they were holed up in.

“I sent you out to get sunscreen,” Dot said. “How did you come back with a child?”

“She’s our age,” Shelby said. “I think. And listen, I found her barricaded in a utility closet with a bad fever, I knew we had some tablets but I didn’t wanna leave her.”

“Like bite fever?” Dot asked. “We don’t have enough bullets to—”

“No,” Shelby shook her head, “Look,” she gently unwrapped a bandage around the girl’s arm, revealing a bad slice. “It’s infected. Not a bite. We’re okay.”

Dot sighed and nodded. The girl’d probably try and rob ‘em blind but if they watched her hands and got away fast enough they should be fine. They’d be fine.

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” Dot muttered. Shelby smiled, all sweet and gentle and bright and Dot rolled her eyes.

The girl took the tablets, they washed and changed the bandages, after about fourteen hours she blinked awake, unfortunately while Dot was on watch.

“Who—who are you?”

“Dot Campbell,” she said.

The girl stared at her.

“My friend saved your ass,” Dot said. “Shelby.”

“Um,” the girl inched back, “Why? Where am I?”

“We’re on the twenty-two, not from from the ten-eighty,” Dot told her. “You got a nasty infection there, got any cigs?”

“No, I don’t smoke.”

Dot blinked at her. “Alright then.”

“My friends will be looking for me,” the girl said. “I should get back to them.” She didn’t have an accent, Dot realized, not even a thin one like her own.

“Shelby found you around Mr. K’s, we can draw you a map if you’d like,” Dot said. “Where you from?”

“Austin,” the girl lied, badly.

“Alright then,” Dot said again. “Well we’ll draw you a map in the mornin and you can leave a day break. It ain’t far.”

“Thank you,” the girl said. “For helping me.”

“Shelby’s idea,” Dot said. Neither of ‘em slept the whole time, the girl smart enough to keep an eye out, and Dot’s whole job to watch out. She woke Shelby up when she was supposed to and easily muddled into a slumber.

A nice thing, about the zombie apocalypse, was Dot had gotten a lot better at sleeping. She used to stay up for hours thinking ‘bout how she’d pay the bills, how much her dad’s meds cost, whether he was coughing more that night than he did most nights, but now she hit whatever soft looking rock she decided to call a pillow and conked out until Shelby woke her. Shelby, on the other hand, barely slept a wink, shooting up at the slightest sign of trouble, even when Dot was on watch. Too much time on her own, Dot’d guess.

Before Shelby Mateo wandered with Dot. He was quiet and sweet and she had took care of him as best she could. Shelby didn’t have nobody before Dot. Just her dead parents, and if Dot remembered eighth grade soccer well enough, a couple of dead siblings too.

So Dot pretty much conked out and missed the way the girl and Shelby giggled all night. But even she wasn’t blind to their bond when she woke, the way the girls smiled easily at one another, laughed with each other, kept up with each other.

“Dottie,” Shelby said. “Martha,” so that was the stranger’s name “said you told her we could draw her a map but Mr. K’s ain’t far, we might as well take her.”

Dot grunted, she didn’t wanna waste a day but it wasn’t like Mr. K’s would take all day and they might as well see if they could find any more cigs. She hadn’t met any non-smokers in a long while. Apocalypse sorta took the fun out of being straight-edge, if Dot had to guess.

Dot took the back, a metal bat out and ready, and Shelby and Martha took the front. Shelby had a makeshift spear made, good for longer range, but worse up close, and she gave Martha the other bat they had. To borrow, Dot had emphasized.

One of the other things that never got old about the apocalypse, was walking up a highway. Walking straight up that middle line, knowing no one would dare drive a car ‘round there. It felt like the world was yours and empty, like you were finding it, rebuilding it, building it. It was as close to a cowboy as she had felt since her daddy let her ride on his back. It was as close to free as she had ever felt.

They got back to Mr. K’s and Dot saw the approaching figures first, aiming her rifle right at ‘em, safety off and gun cocked, but her finger off the trigger. It was Shelby’s hunting rifle, actually, but she had handed it to Dot first chance she had, looking kinda pale. She had Dot’s old handgun now, useless with this kinda range.

“Live ones?” Shelby asked.

“Can’t tell,” Dot said. “Just kinda standing there.”

“They could be waiting for me,” Martha said. Dot glanced at her, hoping the girl wasn’t actually as naive as she seemed. She probably was.

They walked as close as they dared, before Martha was able to confirm that yes it was her friends.

She ran at ‘em and one of ‘em collided with her, slamming her into a hug. There were two more, just kinda watching Dot and Shelby.

“We should go,” Dot said. “We did what we said.”

“Dottie,” Shelby said.

Dot sighed and the two of ‘em trudged up to the happy pair, reuniting like they had been separated for years, decades, instead of a few hours. It was a miracle they were reunited at all, Mateo said he’d meet her back at the camp in an hour and she had to bash his head in six months later with a sledge hammer.

“Who’re your friends, Martha?” One of the other people asked. It was four girls counting Martha, lucky, none of ‘em white, but they all looked around the same age as Dot and Shelby.

“This is Shelby,” Martha grinned, “And Dot.”

Dot nodded at them.

“I am just so pleased to make your acquaintance,” Shelby smiled, holding out her hand to the girl who still had an arm wrapped around Martha.

“This is Toni,” Martha said, squeezing the girl’s side when she didn’t take Shelby’s hand. “And Rachel and Nora.”

“Ah,” Shelby smiled, “Toni your sister right?”

Martha nodded, Toni glared. “Yeah it’s great to meet you or whatever. There a reason you kidnapped Martha?”

“I saw her passed out and worried she was alone,” Shelby explained. “I knew we had some tablets back at the camp but—”

“What do you want?” Rachel asked. “We got about six hundred if that’s—” Martha from Austin, Dot’s ass. Money hadn’t meant shit in Texas for awhile. These kids were from up north, probably pretty far up north too. Maine or some shit. Delaware.

“Got any cigs?” Dot asked.

“Yes,” Nora said. “We have a couple packs.”

“Great,” Dot held out her hands and two packs were dropped into them. Nora didn’t make eye contact the entire time, her hands fidgeting with anything. She was covered in scabs and scars, picking at her own skin probably.

“Where y’all headed?” Shelby asked.

“None of your business,” Toni said.

“Apparently the San Antonio Zone relocated to Tyler,” Martha said. “We heard some people talking about it last week.”

“Y’all got a radio?” Dot asked.

Martha shook her head.

“If you had one you’d know that that’s what they’re pulling now, telling people to go to Tyler, they shoot you as soon as you step foot in Athens.”

“So where are you guys headed?” Rachel demanded.

“West,” Shelby said. “Radio says they’re ferrying clean folks to Hawaii. It’s an island so.”

“Clean how?” Rachel asked, taking a step forward and lifting her jaw.

Dot sighed.

Shelby’s eyes widened, “Clean as in not infected, I mean.”

“Chill,” Rachel smiled, all thin, “I was kidding.”

“Great,” Dot said. “Not that this hasn’t been fun, but we should be going.”

“Wait,” Martha said. “It’s just, we might as well go west too. And we might as well go west together.”

“Marty,” Toni grabbed her by her uninjured arm, “I wanna talk to you for a moment.”

They got into a whispered argument for a few minutes. Rachel joined and it escalated but Martha came out on top, smiling as she approached them.

“We might as well go together,” she repeated.

Shelby’s smile was just as wide, “We would be alighted to have you.”

The new girls were a nightmare. Rachel and Nora, sisters as Dot would learn, hated one another. And by hated Dot meant, had a complicated relationship of love without trust or mutual respect. Nora didn’t trust Rachel, Rachel didn’t respect Nora, and they were constantly going at one another. Toni had some sorta toxic jealousy thing going on, despising Shelby because she was monopolizing Martha. She also tended to fly into these rages, making her wander off for long periods that had Dot itching to grab her gun and demanding the girl strip to check for bites. Mateo’s dad used to do the same thing, wander off to check his bite.

Shelby also was wholly focused on two things now: Martha, and Toni’s hate. Dot ambled along behind all of ‘em, keeping the sisters from killing each other, Toni’s voice down, and everyone else alive.

The worst part was it took Dot nearly three days before she caught sight of it.

“You have one hand,” Dot glared at Rachel. Rachel slung the pack over her shoulder.

“You’re just noticing that now?” Rachel asked. “I must be getting better with it.”

“The fuck happened?” Dot said.

“My hand got bit,” Rachel shrugged. “Cut it off before it spread, didn’t even know it would work.”

Dot whistled, low and quiet, like they were all used to being.

“I cut it off,” Nora corrected, sullenly.

Rachel rolled her eyes.

“I’m still quicker on the draw than you,” Rachel said, the words clunky in her mouth.

Dot set her jaw, “So y’all are sticking with the story that you’re from Austin?”

“We’re from New York,” Nora said. Rachel glared at her. “What? You think some group would waste three days on four teenage girls?”

“New York?” Dot asked. “Everyone knows it’s safer up north, why the hell are you down here?”

“You hear about Yonkers?” Rachel asked.

Dot shook her head.

“It was the last op the US military set up before they fell apart. We’d made it out by then but we watched it happen on the news. Someone in a group we had still had a phone and the whole thing was live streamed. All of the death. The group were supposed to go to some military bases up in Canada but we wanted a wide open space with plenty of guns.”

“Texas,” Dot said.

Rachel nodded.

“Stupid,” Dot told her. “You probably came for San Antonio too.”

Rachel sighed, “Nobody was gonna survive those Canadian winters without a base, and we weren’t sure we were gonna get one. Rather get bit than freeze.”

“How’d you meet Toni and Martha?” Dot asked.

“Toni and I got into a fistfight over some Takis,” Rachel said.

Dot nodded, “Fuego?”

“Fuego.”

And yeah they were a nightmare but quicker than Dot wanted they became her nightmare. Still though, she dragged Shelby away from Martha and Toni’s sides, and muttered, “we can still go. Ditch if you want. Whenever. We don’t know ‘em.”

Shelby, in high school, woulda been scandalized, muttered some bible passage at her. This Shelby was a little more grown and only looked at her all serious.

“You knew what I was when you picked me up,” she said. “And I knew what Martha was. We’ll face our consequences, I reckon.”

Dot nodded.

Walking all day, everyday, wasn’t easy stuff. Especially since they had to strip as many bodies as they could find. Nora figured it out pretty quick, mumbling something to Rachel who recruited Toni to storm over to Dot.

“You don’t smoke them, but you’re hoarding them,” Rachel said. “Why?”

Dot kept her easy pace. “These things are currency now, the value’ll only go up over time.”

“Currency for what?” Toni asked. “What are you trying to buy?”

“You think a ferry to Hawaii is free?” Dot asked. “I’m saving for all of us.”

“Dottie,” Shelby walked over, Martha sticking by Nora, “What’s up?”

“How much?” Toni asked. “Really, how much?”

“A hundred each,” Dot said, too quickly.

“Try again,” Rachel said.

“Dot,” Shelby got between them, looking at Dot. “Thou shalt not lie, right? Tell ‘em the truth.” Dot glared at her and Shelby turned back around to Rachel. “It’s five hundred each. We got about a hundred now, so no one’s going to Hawaii.”

“What if there aren’t enough?” Toni asked. “Who decides then?”

“We’ll draw straws,” Shelby said.

It was as easy a solution as anything but the tenseness started building up, Rachel and Toni viewing Dot with more suspicion. It’d fade, over time, Dot knew. Or they’d all die.

The worst it got, was actually Shelby’s doing, the easy peace maker of it all. They hadn’t bothered building a fire, despite how cold and exposed it got in Texas at night, but they huddled together between three cars they found abandoned along the highway that they pushed into a triangle. Someone got to the seat cushions of all three first, so there was nothing comfortable to lie their heads on. It was easy for Dot though, the asphalt as soft as anything to her now.

They stayed up later than they should’ve talking. Trading stories about their old life that all of them knew weren’t doing any good. Toni played basketball, was pretty good at it too. Rachel had a skill for swimming she’d never have again. Nora did quiz bowl, surprising no one. Dot talked about metal, fishing with her dad, what types of pills sold for what. Martha was a dancer, and a vegetarian once. It was something that made ‘em all crack up. When humans become man eating beasts, and once upon a time there were jokes online about vegans. Shelby talked about the yearbook, mission trips, Andrew.

But then cause Shelby started it by prattling on about Andrew Toni got it in her head to talk about Regan and Shelby was talking about Leviticus.

The next morning, Rachel quietly pulled Dot aside and told her to take all the cigarettes and head out. That they could make their own way west. Dot didn’t ask for an invitation to go with her.

They split off at the twenty-five, Dot and Shelby heading for the forty, Toni, Martha, Rachel, and Nora heading for the sixty.

Shelby was heartbroken for a few days, apologetic too, and grateful. Dot didn’t let her have any of that, only said, “It’s cause we’re from the same town. We might be the only ones from there left.”

They trudged on.

In Arizona Dot found the love of her life, her soulmate, Fatin Jadmani. In a completely straight way too. Fatin matched her tit for tat, spoke a language Dot hadn’t realized she’d been born knowing. Her girlfriend was an anxious woman named Leah, who Shelby got on with. Dot had worried, upon bringing the two back to camp, that Shelby would chase ‘em away again, but she hadn’t. Just smiled at the two of them, easily offering up a couple granola bars.

Whenever tenseness came about Fatin just laughed, and Leah rolled her eyes. It wasn’t perfect, Dot knew, there was too much hate for that, but it would last ‘em long enough. The four of ‘em just worked in this great lovely way.

Only problem was their destination.

“We barely managed to get out of LA,” Leah mumbled, she hugged her legs, her head leaning on Fatin’s shoulder.

“LA?” Shelby asked. “That’s where we’re headed.”

“What the fuck?” Fatin glared at Dot, “Dorthy I thought you had more sense than that.”

“There’s some military guys ferrying people to Hawaii,” Dot said.

“Where’d you hear that, the radio?” Fatin asked. She sighed at their nods, “They’re broadcasting out to whoever will hear it, but there is no ferry to Hawaii. The entire thing is just selling and shipping as many girls out as possible. We have no idea where though.”

“So when you say you barely made it out,” Dot said.

Fatin’s face was grim.

“We have to warn ‘em,” Shelby said.

“Warn who?” Dot asked.

“Toni and the others! They don’t know!” Shelby stood up. “I’ll plot out the course now and we’ll start out fresh tomorrow. We aren’t leaving ‘em to—to—we aren’t leaving ‘em.” She stormed off and Dot watched her go.

“She wants to go towards LA to help some motherfuckers who kicked you out of their group?” Fatin asked.

“Yeah,” Dot said.

“Are you gonna go with her?” Leah asked.

“I knew what she was when I picked her up,” Dot said.

“What do you wanna do?” Leah asked Fatin.

Fatin pressed her cheek to Leah’s head, “I don’t know if I can risk you.” Fatin looked at Dot, “Are you gonna be stupid?”

“No,” Dot said.

“Then we’ll come,” Fatin sighed. “Leah that okay?” Leah nodded.

Neither of ‘em were as good at offing zed as Shelby and Dot. Fatin was decent at finding stuff though, scoping stuff, and Leah had endurance none of the rest of ‘em could match. She was like a zed sometimes, just kept going, could keep going, until her knees wore down to dust and then she’d crawl, crawl until her fingers wore down to nubs and then she’d inch, inch until something put her out of her misery. It terrified Fatin and Shelby, but Dot couldn’t help being impressed.

So Dot ambled after Shelby toward Bethlehem on the forty but they were gonna leap back on the interstate and hopefully head ‘em off. Hopefully Martha, Toni, Rachel, and Nora’d be alive, and they’d find ‘em. And if they didn’t find ‘em, hopefully they’d be dead. And Shelby stopped sleeping about a day or two into trek. Would just keep staring at the maps and keeping watch, and taking inventory and thumbing around her necklace.

When Dot woke up on the third day of their walk, Shelby’s hair was much shorter and Fatin looked real scared. Shelby kept walking and walking and, in a fit of rage that matched Toni’s, launched her necklace off the highway. She looked like she regretted it after but they had no choice but to keep going.

They passed an arm and it looked like Rachel’s.

Shelby walked faster. Leah had that glint in her eye. Fatin took Dot’s hand and looked very very scared.

After two more days Shelby said fuck it, and found a car with some gas in it and told 'em to get in.

Dot stood in front, “Shelby,” Shelby glared at her, “This’ll attract every body in the fucking country. The sound, the smell, I’m not just talking about the dead ones neither.”

Shelby swallowed hard, “You gonna stay behind then?”

“Shelby,” Dot said. “If you leave me here I’ll get caught up in the hoard. That what you want?”

“Get in the damn car, Dottie!” Shelby said.

“If we get to ‘em in time, but there’s a fucking hoard following us, we won’t have anywhere to go but on,” Dot said. “Fucking think!”

“I am thinking,” Shelby spat back. She shoved Dot, “I’m thinking about Toni, and Martha walking from Minnesota to Texas only to die in California. I’m thinking about Nora and Rachel watching Yonkers fall and then getting shipped off to who knows where. That’s what I’m thinking.”

“Shelby we can make it,” Leah said.

“No we can’t!” Shelby said. “I’ve done the math, I keep looking at these maps, there’s no way we’ll make it in time without a mode of transportation. No car and they die.”

“Then what the fuck are we going there?” Dot asked. “If it’s too late—”

“It is not too late!” Shelby said, her throat was all closed and choked sounding. “I can save ‘em! Jesus fuckin Christ we have to help ‘em!”

“Shelby,” Dot said, she put a hand on her shoulder. “We can’t take a car, and we can’t make it by foot,” Shelby’s face crumpled. “They’re gone, alright? We should be planning our next move.”

“No,” Leah said. She shook her head, “We have to help them.”

“You don’t even know ‘em,” Dot said.

“I’m not letting four innocent girls go through what I nearly went through,” Leah said.

“I’m with Leah,” Fatin said. “We’ll take the car and play it by ear.”

“Play the-hoard-that-will-start-coming-after-us-the-second-we-turn-on-the-engine by ear?” Dot asked.

“Let’s vote,” Shelby said. “All in favor of going?”

Fatin, Leah, and Shelby all raised their hands.

“C’mon,” Dot begged. She looked at Fatin, “You told me not to be stupid!”

“So don’t be stupid,” Fatin said. “Get in the car.”

Dot sighed, wanted to punch something, wanted to cry, was too tired to do either, got in the car.

The car attracted so many fucking zed, they wouldn’t be able to stop, and they had to hope there was enough in the fucking tank to get them to wherever the four were. Dot watched the dead bodies creep closer, at their slow hobbling, relentless pace. Fatin drove, Shelby used her pike to spear any who got too close, Dot watched the maps and steadily got herself into a panic.

They were gonna die trying to save the asses of some girls they spent a couple days with.

This was not what Shelby was when Dot picked her up, this was not what she was. Shelby had gone behind Dot’s back and fucking grown as a person, hadn’t she? How the fuck was Dot gonna get away from her? She’d have to pack Fatin in a suitcase and then Leah too and that would mean entirely abandoning Shelby to be on her lonesome oh god.

Dot was stuck, wasn’t she.

As they kept driving Shelby had to keep spearing zed. It started off as one or two, but as the hours wore on they were leaning on five, six, a steady growing mass ambling behind ‘em.

If that had really been Rachel’s arm, they were probably dead. All of ‘em. Or maybe in the mass behind ‘em. And if they weren’t, they’d hear the car coming and head for the hills, assuming it meant a hoard was close behind. Which it was.

This was such a fucking terrible idea.

“So what, we just wait for a sign to say welcome to LA and then give up? We won’t find ‘em like this,” Dot said.

“Shut up!” Shelby said, she speared another.

“At least check you ain’t offing one of ours,” Dot said. “They could all be zed, for all we know.”

“I said shut up,” Shelby turned to glare at her and a zed slammed against the door. She speared it and Dot’s mouth clamped shut. “We just gotta keep going,” she said. “We’ll be fine, we just gotta keep moving.”

“You’re crazy,” Dot said.

Shelby didn’t have anything to say to that.

It was worse at nightfall, with visibility down, and they just had to keep going, to hope their car wasn’t stripped when they went over the bumps of mutilated corpses still hungry for a last meal.

“We’re almost to LA,” Shelby said. “We got nearly a hundred cigs, we might be able to bribe someone if they jump us.”

Leah snorted.

They were driving through an empty enough part of Nevada though, less corpses hurling themselves off the road and towards them. Still the ever growing mass behind ‘em now, maybe fifty, seventy five, but about twenty out.

“I gotta piss,” Dot said.

“Hurry,” Fatin said.

Dot stumbled out, no one noticing her grabbing her pack. The zed would follow the car, she’d make a clean break. She’d survive.

She was only seven minutes south, judging by the north star Shelby taught her to find when someone’s hand grabbed her. She pulled out her hand gun, jamming it into the head and flicking the safety off.

“Dot! Jesus Christ!”

The girl was wide-eyed, tan, hollowed out, empty and desperate. Reminded her of the empty pill bottles around her house after her dad died.

“Toni?”

Toni nodded, “Why are you here? Fuck that I don’t give a shit, you got water?” Dot handed it to her and Toni downed it. “The other’s are close, c’mon.” She stumbled as she got up, clearly dizzy, and Dot grabbed her forearm.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you guys,” Dot said.

“Don’t tell me it’s you in the fucking car,” Toni said. “We’ve been running from that thing for ages.”

“I fucking told Shelby,” Dot said.

“Shelby?” Toni asked, she was almost too exhausted to sound disgusted, but she managed it.

“Listen, LA isn’t safe, we found out. They’re not taking kids to Hawaii, they’re taking them.”

Toni went pale, “Fuck.” She even sounded choked now. “Shelby’s having a fucking aneurysm worrying about you so I don’t even think she’s that fucking homophobic. I’ll get everyone back to the car, you tell ‘em I’m coming.”

Toni nodded, stumbling towards the street and Dot walked back to the direction Toni pointed to before she left. Rachel, Nora, and Martha were all in various points of disarray. Exhausted, dehydrated, starving, aching and bleeding. Dot had to half carry, half drag Nora with Martha and Rachel had to get a stick to lean on as they stumbled toward the street.

“We got like ten minutes,” Fatin said. “People are gonna have to double buckle, and before anyone else makes a decision, we’re going north.”

Dot strapped everyone in and found herself sitting next to Shelby who met her eyes in a hundred yard stare.

“You took your pack.”

“Yeah.”

“But you came back.”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

They started on again. Dot saw Toni keep sneaking glances at Shelby and Shelby kept sneaking ‘em back.

They weren’t far from Mt. Tobin when the two finally stopped dancing around each other.

Dot convinced everyone to ditch the car near LA, walking as quickly as they could once they did, knowing it’d take awhile to ditch the hoard too. Dot watched Toni talk to Shelby in low tones, Shelby full of apologies and panics and Toni keeping her cool longer than Dot had ever seen it.

Martha took to Fatin quickly, everyone did, and Nora and Leah spent long hours walking beside each other mumbling about books or something. Not anything Dot gave two shits about.

Rachel ambled along with Dot most of the time. Whenever Fatin and Leah were all over each other and Dot didn’t feel like third wheeling. Rachel was always listening to the radio and as time passed it became clear that the two of them were the most capable of keeping everyone alive. And not in a more knowledgable way. Because Nora knew what plants were edible, and Shelby was a better shot. Or in an emotional way, because Fatin and Martha handled that. But in a planning sorta way. Because Dot knew how to get them to point B, while Rachel was working on point E.

“We should go to Washington,” Rachel muttered on one of the late nights they spent keeping watch while they poured over maps. “We might be able to find a boat to Victoria.”

“Victoria?” Rachel pointed her out.

“It’s a Canadian island. Canada lasted a little longer than we did, Victoria might not be in such a bad way.”

“Less guns in Canada,” Dot said. “And there might not be a boat that’ll take us there. Plus, we don’t know the currency.”

“We’re eight teenage girls,” Rachel pointed out. “We stick around so close to Cali, we’re asking for trouble. We need to put an ocean between us and whatever the fuck they’re doing there.”

Dot sighed. So they’d go to Washington.

On the way they’d probably run into another group who’d tell them Washington was overrun but there was something decent in Wisconsin. Half way to Wisconsin someone would tell ‘em their information was bad and they need to get south where there were guns and space. They’d almost be in Georgia when someone would tell ‘em there was some real government up in New York again.

They’d follow pipe dream to pipe dream to pipe dream. They’d probably die young.

Toni curled around Shelby, holding Martha’s hand. Fatin and Leah held on for dear life. Rachel didn’t take her eyes off Nora. Dot watched them all.

Yeah they’d probably die young. Better than dying alone.

[lovinlikeloki]

The Lone Wolf

Masterlist // 03

Warnings: Swearing, Anxiety Attack

Word Count: 4.4k

I struggle with the growing sharp pain in my chest, gasping for air that doesn't seem to exist. The pain feeling like shards of glass are trying to pierce their way through my skin and out of my chest as slowly as possible. My heart pounds as if it's trying to escape my ribcage. And me? What am I doing? Nothing. I'm not doing anything. Because there's nothing I can do.

I just lay on my back on the ground of that airport runway, my mask pulled off my face and lying beside me, clutching my chest like I'm having a heart attack and hope and pray that no one questions me. But I'm Fianna MacBhfloscaidh. And my Fianna Luck™ would never allow that.

"Hey, uh, hey wolf girl? You okay?" it's the Spider hero, he's crawled over to me.

"What's it to you?" I snark through my desperate attempts to breathe, propping myself up to sit.

"Look I don't know if you're injured or something, but I just wanna help," he reassures me, sitting up.

"I'm," I gasp, "I'm having a goddamn anxiety attack. It feels like I'm bloody dying."

"Okay, uh, okay, I'll help you through this. Just, um, just try to, try to focus on your breathing. Yeah, breathe with me, okay?"

"Just focus on breathing," I mock him, "What the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?"

"At least I know you haven't lost your snark. Now come on, breathe with me, in for five, four, three, two, one and hold for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one and now out for eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Okay, come on, you can do it," he grabs the hand that's not clinging to my chest to try and ground me, "You got this, come on, in for five... hold for seven... and out for eight."

We go through this mantra several times before the pain slowly disappears and my breathing is back to normal.

"You good now?" he asks, cocking his head to the side.

"I'm fine," I say sharply, yanking my hand from his grasp. He flinches slightly and I soften, "Why... why did you help me?"

"Because that's what I do. I help people, or at least I try to. And you're only here to help your family, which I'm assuming is Wanda?"

"Yeah, it's... Wanda's my connection to the team. I owe her a debt that, no matter how many favors I do for her, no matter how many car park fist fights I help her in, the debt will never be paid off."

"...So it's like a college debt?"

I laugh at that, like an actual real laugh, it's been a while since I had one of those, "Yeah, like a college debt. But instead of giving me a degree that'll probably be useless because getting a job is impossible she gave me... a chance to live a normal life again. Well, as normal as you can be when you're like me."

"Can I ask why you helped me?" he questions, "Like with the boarding tunnel, and then I think you caught me when I was falling too."

"While I may be here for Wanda I could tell you were a kid, and I do have a moral compass. It might be a roulette wheel, but it exists, and ev'ry now and then the arrow points north. Especially for kids."

"That's good to know... I think. You know, we're gonna have to bring you all in. Captain America and the dude with the metal arm left, but you guys are technically criminals now."

"I knew what I was getting into since the beginning. Besides, it's nice to be wanted."

He's wearing a mask, but I can practically feel the smile on his face, "You're Gen z, right? You gotta be with that sense of humor."

"Maybe I am, what's it to you kid?"

"Why are you calling me kid? Aren't we like around the same age?"

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Well, I, uh, I gotta go. But I'll see you around?" he says, standing up and getting ready to swing away.

"As soon I get through the prison break," I smile, standing up as well and shaking his hand.

"See ya, Wolf girl," he says, swinging away.

"See ya, Spider-child," I call after him before someone walks towards me, handcuffs in his hands.

"You're gonna have to come with me, kid," he says. I look around, I see Wanda and Clint already cuffed and Sam being told the same as me, Scott is getting pulled into a vehicle.

I bend down to grab my mask, putting it on over my mouth and nose and turn, holding my hands up to the agent, "Just do it already."

"You are under arrest for violating the Sokovia Accords, you have the right to remain silent, you have no right to a lawyer and will not stand trial. You are being transferred to the Raft prison immediately."

You must go directly to jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect 200 monopoly monies. Whatever dude, I get it, I'm a criminal, I go to the special superhero jail, you can spare me the monologue.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

I am thrown from the vehicle I was transported in. I'm now dressed in a dark blue jumpsuit and have a shock collar attached to my neck. One almost identical to Wanda's. I can't use my powers. It doesn't disable them, but it sends a very strong electric shock that hurts like a bitch. Trust me, I tried.

After that I'm thrown into a cell. I have a bed in the cell and that's it. I feel like shit. I was supposed to help Wanda. And here we both are, in a prison, in the middle of the ocean. This was supposed to be different than last time we saw each other. This time was supposed to be hugs and smiles and freedom. Not this. Not cells and cages. Not again.

I'm lying on the ground face down trying not to get seasick. Unlike last time I was in the situation I have zero escape plans. No ideas, no thoughts, no plans, no him. Nothing. Everything's different this time. There's too many variables, more of everything. There's more guards, more escapees, more in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.

This place is a hellhole. In Hydra we were at least volunteers, while we couldn't leave we had some level of freedom, here I'm an actual prisoner. We're all prisoners. I guess we almost have it coming, since we're criminals and all, but that is no excuse for how they're treating us.

Clint fought the aliens in New York, and the robots in Sokovia, and here he is in a cell. Sam hijacked one of the helicarriers in DC and saved millions of lives, and here he is in a cell. Wanda tore the robots in Sokovia to pieces, and here she is, in a shock collar, in a straitjacket, in a cell. Scott... I don't know much about Scott, but I'm sure that he's done good things, and here he is in a cell.

Me on the other hand? I almost deserve this. I've done nothing for humanity. I signed up to be experimented on by Nazis. I beat the crap out of jerks for a day job, that might sound good but it's not. I don't do that out of the goodness of my heart, I do it for the money, to pay rent.

We're in these cells for about eight hours by the time the infamous Tony Stark arrives for a visit. He walks in, circling around to see the place before going by our cells individually. He doesn't give Wanda a glance, presumably because of how broken inside she looks.

"The futurist, gentlemen!" Clint claps sarcastically, "the futurist is here! He sees all! He knows what's best for you, whether you like it or not."

This prompts Stark to walk over to Barton's cell.

"Give me a break, Barton," he says. "I had no idea they'd put you here. Come on."

Clint spits, "Yeah, well, you know they'd put us somewhere, Tony."

"Yeah, but not some super-max floating ocean pokey. This place is for maniacs. This place is for..."

"Criminals?" Clint finishes for him, standing up, "Criminals, Tony. Think that's the word you're looking for. Right? That didn't used to mean me. Or Sam, or Wanda. But here we are."

"Because you broke the law."

"Yeah."

"I didn't make you."

"La la la..."

"-You read it; you broke it. You're all grown up; you got a wife and kids."

"-la la la la la."

"I don't understand why you didn't think of them before you chose the wrong side?"

Stark begins to move along to the next cell, but not before Clint gets the last word, "You gotta watch you back with this guy," he slams his hands on the bars, "There's a chance he's gonna break it."

He walks by Scott's cell and Scott is there at the bars, almost waiting for him. "Hank Pym always said you can never trust a Stark."

"Who are you?" Stark questions walking on to my cell.

"Come on, man."

Stark stops in front of my cell, I'm no longer lying but sitting, my back against the back wall and staring at him.

"You're quiet. Don't you wanna throw in your two cents like the others?" he quirks an eyebrow.

I look him in the eyes, speaking slowly and angrily, "Tá a fhois agam a lán focail in a lán teanga, ach chan go leor le chuir síos ar fuath s'agam duit."

(I know many words in many languages, but not enough to describe my hatred for you.)

"I- I don't speak that," he says and I roll my eyes, "But your tone was angry so I think I get the gist."

"Not even a wee bit," I spit at him.

He gives me one last look before walking to his final destination, Sam's cell.

"How's Rhodes?" Sam asks, his back facing Stark. I found out what happened when we were being transported, I know how bad Sam feels about Rhodes getting hurt.

"We're flying him to Columbia Medical tomorrow. So... fingers crossed," Stark says almost coldly before switching up his tone. "What do you need? They feed you yet?"

Sam turns around, baffled by Stark's change, "You're the good cop, now?"

Stark shakes his head, "I'm just the guy who needs to know where Steve went."

Don't we fucking all. Otherwise we might be with him rather than stuck in this shithole.

"Well, you better go get a bad cop... because you're gonna have to go Mark Fuhrman on my ass to get information out of me."

Stark then does something on his smartwatch on steroids, "Well, I just knocked the A out of their AV. We got about 30 seconds before they realize it's not their equipment."

"What do you want? A gold star?" I quip, done with his shit.

He rolls his eyes and goes to work on his smartwatch again, "Just look," he brings up a small projection, "Because that... is the fellow who was supposed to interrogate Barnes. Clearly, I made a mistake. Sam, I was wrong."

"That's a first," Sam admits.

"Cap is definitely off the reservation but he's about to need all the help he can get. We don't know each other very well. You don't have to..."

"Hey, it's all right," Sam sighs, "Look, I'll tell you, but you have to go alone and as a friend."

"Easy."

"He's going to Siberia, there's a Hydra base there with about six other soldiers, just like Barnes."

Sam then spews some coordinates that don't mean anything to me and they're done. When walking past our cells again Stark looks at me and his eyes soften slightly.

"How'd you even end up in this mess kid?"

"My sister needed me; I had her back. Besides, a change of scenery is always nice," I reply dryly.

"This is a prison cell," he says cautiously.

"It's sarcasm, ye twat."

He nods at that and leaves the room. This whole thing is a mess. He claims to be going to Cap as a friend, but where does that leave us, floating in the ocean.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

It's been a few hours since the man with the money left. We just have to entertain ourselves I guess. I'm lying on my bed, humming to myself. Music has always been a big thing for me, always. It's gotten me through a lot, Hydra, leaving home, losing him, every hardship I've had to get through I've had music.

I've begun writing songs in the last year, ever since I lost- ever since he died, I've been using it as an outlet. I've wrote a few songs, but mostly I just cover songs, letting go of all my feelings as I sing my lungs out and strum my guitar or play my keyboard.

I'm humming a soft lullaby to myself, the only one I can think of, Báidín Feilimí or Feilimí's little boat in English I guess. It's something I learned as a wane (kid) and while a load of the other songs have been forgotten this is one of them that's stuck. It takes me back to before... all of this; before I even had powers. This song brings me back to being that small wane in P3 having to learn a song for school.

I hum the simple tune of my childhood when the alarms begin ringing. The noise hurts my ears and I'm covering them with my hands, hating my enhanced senses. That's when I hear punches landing and blows being traded.

Then, out of the shadows like the dramatic ass he is, Captain Steve Rogers emerges. He's not alone either, he's got T'Challa, the Black Panther, and Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow. They're here to save us.

Natasha opens my cell and walk towards me slowly, showing me the tool in her hand, she unlocks the shock collar and I nearly cry in relief. She takes my hand and helps me up.

"Come on, you're gonna be okay, we gotta go," she says.

"Thank you," I gasp, squeezing her hand. She returns the gesture before giving me small, short-lived smile.

She helps Wanda with her collar and the rest of us are out of out cells. We follow the trio saviours and they take us to the platform where there's a quinjet, we pile in and it takes off.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

When we land in Wakanda we were told that we could get some rest before we make decisions, decide where to go and who with. Wanda and I decide to share a room. We've been separated for so long, alone for so long that we deserve to be together for the little time we have together. Instead of taking two beds like was offered, we share a double bed, needing each other close for comfort and reassurance.

When we awoke we stayed in our room a little longer, wanting to talk before being ripped apart yet another time. We haven't spoken about it but I know we're going to be separated, of course we are. That's just how my life goes, I get something good and then it gets torn away from me. Always has, always will.

"A lot has happened since I last saw you, over a year ago. I'm in a better place, well kind of. I've got better friends. Like Orlaith, and Eoghan. Eoghan especially has done a lot for me," I tell her.

"What do you mean? What's he done for you?" Wanda asks.

"Well, when I got back home people were happy. I got to see Tommy again which was amazing. But... one day I was picking him up from school and my powers, they spazzed out. I shifted... in front of his entire class and their parents."

"What happened?"

"Sheá and Erin McConnell couldn't have such a freak connected to them, especially as a daughter, so... I was kicked out. I spent a few nights at Orlaith's before I had to stay in the streets, it was my... third night, I think, when I was approached by a man named Liam. He had heard about what happened at the school and he told me he knew somewhere I could stay."

"And that led you to Eoghan?"

"Yeah, he owns the place I've been staying," I smile before mockingly announcing the bar, "St. Marie's. It's a pub and inn, for mercenaries mostly. I had to pay rent somehow, so I became a mercenary too. I don't do anything too bad, don't hurt wanes, if they're present I make sure they don't see or hear things."

"Well, while I'm glad you have housing I wish you didn't have to have such a violent job. There were no other jobs you could've done?" Wanda asks, but she knows she's grasping at straws.

"Nothing else would pay enough for rent and other needs. You can't win them all, or any at all in my case, I guess. Anyway, what's new with you?"

"As you might have guessed, when we tried to escape I, along with P, was captured again. We learned to control our powers, I don't hear all the voices anymore and things don't go haywire when my emotions are high."

"That's good. Really, I'm proud of you Wands."

"Yeah... I've also got a better hold on the energy stuff and the telekinesis. They also taught me how to do the mental manipulation a lot better... now I can do what the Brauns was supposed to do."

"Aw, aye, the other twins. Did they... are they really gone?" I remember the Brauns. They were like masters of causing mental chaos, they could drive you insane if they wanted. Then all of a sudden they were dead, it never added up to me.

"Fianna, they were confirmed dead a month before you left."

"I know. It's just- I know we weren't close, but they seemed pretty powerful, it's hard to believe they're gone."

"I understand, besides, the boy had a thing for you, you must miss the attention."

"Alexander? No! Wait- did he?"

"Definitely. I can't believe you didn't know."

"Well... I was a bit preoccupied with someone else. Anyway, moving on, you got control over your abilities," I try desperately to switch the subject, while the male Braun twin wasn't sore on the eyes I had eyes for someone else, but that wasn't something I wanted to talk about at this moment.

"Then last year the Avengers attacked the base. There was a lot of disagreeing when it came to whether or not us twins would go on defence, and like the impatient boy he is P brought me with him to the battlefield to fight them off."

"I gcónaí mar síota bheag mífhoighneach," I revert to my mother tongue while speaking fondly of my former amour.

(Always an impatient little cheetah)

Wanda laughs, "Always. Then... we joined Ultron. We thought it was the right thing to do, but we were just consumed with rage and wanted revenge-"

"As you should."

"Fianna, please, let me finish. We joined Ultron, but then we found out that Ultron didn't want to save humanity but to end it."

"Don't blame him. Humanity sucks."

"Fianna Colleen McConnell! Stop interrupting me!"

"Sorry Wands, no need to middle name me," I hold my hands up in surrender, "But it's Fianna Colleen MacBhfloscaidh, not McConnell. Not anymore."

"Okay, I'll bear that in mind."

"Anyways, uh Ultron didn't know the difference between saving humans and ending them, continue."

"Well yeah, I saw his plans and we joined the Avengers, we fought Ultron and then... well you know how it ended, Sokovia in ruins and-"

"And him gone. I saw it, on the news. Wanda, I was- I was different, I am changed after what happened. Wanda I've done things, things that you would never have let slide. When I found out, I went to a... a dark place, and that dark place has a big ol' closet and it, heh, it is jam packed with skeletons," I vaguely tell Wanda.

What I've done since I escaped, it's- it can be gruesome. I could never completely tell Wanda the extent of my carnage, I don't think I'll ever tell anyone that wasn't there. All I can tell her is that it was brutal, it was my unhealthy way of coping with my loss. I've done damage that can never be undone, and because of that I try not to dwell on it, but it's difficult.

"Fianna, he- when he died, his last thoughts were of you. He loved you, and he knew he was dying to make the world a better place for you."

"But Wanda, how can it be a better place if he's gone? How can the world be better when he was my world?"

Wanda looks at me. She's in shock. She's always known I loved him, so has he, but I'm never usually this blunt about emotions. He's the exception to that. He's always the fucking exception. So I stare back at her, tears in my eyes, eyes that are wide with wonder of how the world could ever be better if he's not here to hold me, to love me.

"I... I don't know Fianna. I just know what he was thinking. And that's what it was. Of you. It was always you."

I feel the tear that's been awaiting its moment finally trickle down my cheek. That boy. It was always me. Sometimes I almost wish it wasn't. Maybe if I was his second choice he would've lived. Maybe if I never knew him he would've lived. Maybe-

"Stop that," Wanda grabs my wrists gently, "Stop with the maybes, stop with the what ifs. He made his choice, and yes it hurts, but you can't change it."

"But I could've," I sob, "If I had just not left, or- or not volunteer in the first place then maybe-"

"Fianna, don't do this to yourself," Wanda pleads, pulling me into her lap. "You'll torture yourself with these scenarios, trust me, I know."

"But... but he- it's my fault. It's always my fault. I'm cursed."

"You aren't cursed malen'kaya volk. You've got me. You've got Orlaith, and Eoghan, and your other friends. You've got Tommy," Wanda says hopefully, trying to cheer me up.

(Little wolf)

She's doing her best, but she'd wrong, she doesn't realise how wrong she is. It doesn't matter who I've got. I'll lose them. I always do. I lost my parents. I've lost him. I've even lost the Braun twins.

"Yeah, you're right, I do have you. Except you're leaving me. I've got Orlaith and Eoghan. But I can't go back to them. My other friends are mercenaries who travel around the globe and if the feds have even looked near the bar then they hate me. No matter who I've got its only a matter of time before I lose them."

"You still have Tommy."

"Ah, yes, Tomás 'Tommy' McConnell. My baby brother. The one I abandoned to get experimented on by Nazis. The one who's class I shifted in front of. The one who's subjected to bullying because of that incident. The one who's been banned from seeing me and has to meet with me in secret without my parents knowing."

"Fianna, you didn't mean for that to happen," Wanda places a hand on my shoulder to reassure me. I jerk it off, not wanting the undeserved comfort.

"Wanda. I've done more to hurt my baby brother than I have to help him. I was supposed to see him the day you called. He probably hates me for bailing, but what can I say to him? 'Sorry I bailed, your big sis was too busy becoming an international criminal. Maybe I'll see you in a few years, I don't know, depends on when they let me out!' Wanda I've abandoned him, yet again."

Wanda freezes momentarily, realising how this mess I've been dragged into has impacted my life so drastically. I know that she's going to place blame on herself, and maybe she should, but I knew what I was getting into. She told me to jump and I'd merely questioned how high.

"Fianna, you should- you shouldn't have come if you were going to see Tommy. I would've understood, you know that."

"But I couldn't have said no Wanda. Not to you, not ever. I owe you my everything. I probably wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you. If I stated with HYDRA any longer I probably would've ended up in the same ditch the Brauns were buried in. I'm a dog, you know that, you call me and I'll come running. There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, I always come through for you, every time. Just in time."

"Fianna..."

"Time's getting on, we'd need to get to the others. We have conversations on more pressing matter to talk about," I say coldly, standing up and leaving the room without even glancing back at the girl I know that I've hurt.

I never wanted to hurt her... I never wanted the conversation to shift to where it did beyond our catch up. I've never been good with feelings, feeling them or expressing them. That's what happens when you grow up with emotionally constipated parents and then become a child soldier. I've brought most of the pain I've experienced onto myself, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt.

[marvinswriting]

Jason

hey, you guys remember jason from the movie? the one gretchen hooked up with but he didn't actually care about her? yeah :) ALSO REGINA POV?!?!? tw: bullying, suffocation, manipulation, shane omen mention g/t mean girls

I wasn't controlling.

Well- let me rephrase that.

There were rules for being plastic. I made sure Karen and Gretchen followed those rules. That wasn't controlling. Just, guidelines. They're rules in place to help the other plastics. Dress codes, what clubs you can and can't join, you can't buy a dress without the others approval, don't date your friend's exes-

but totally new boys were fair game. 

So before you ask, no, that's not why I'm against Gretchen dating Jason. 

On surface level, Jason seemed like a nice guy.

But he constantly blew off Gretchen, he flirted with other girls, and overall was totally using her.

And that's not even getting into how he treats tinies.

That's right.

Jason is a two-faced fucking asshole.

And none of the giants can see it.

I mean- I'm sure they're suspicious. I know Damian notices when Janis stiffens the second Jason walks in the room. And, Cady has probably picked up on the way Aaron gets quiet. If Gretchen has caught on to anything, she totally ignores it. I mean- Janis, Aaron, and I tried telling our friends in the begging. Gretchen didn't want to hear it. She's got a huge crush on the guy and totally ignores all red flags. 

So we gave up getting through to her. 

Besides, who would believe us? Jason was so sweet whenever our giants were around.

I guess when we collectively decided we couldn't get through to Gretchen- all the other giants were a lost cause too. And that was months ago. We're in too deep now.

"Allow me to take it back to the drawing board and suggest the best idea we've had since day one," Janis huffed. We were in an empty hallway after school for 'english help'. We've been staying after a lot more recently. 

It's been getting worse.

Jason isn't trying to be sneaky anymore. He'll pick up Aaron without asking, conveniently drop his textbook on the cafeteria table right next to Janis, wrap his arm around Gretchen when I'm on her shoulder. 

Yet nobody has caught on.

Janis continued. "Why don't we just tell our giants what he's doing?"

"Because Gretchen won't listen to me."

"Good thing there's three other friends." Janis points out.

I rolled my eyes, waving my hand dismissively. Of course, Janis didn't understand how it felt not to have her giant listen to her. Her and Damian practically share a mind, if anything it's a shock he hasn't started asking questions. "Fine, if you know what's best for everyone, go talk to Damian. I'm sure you two will solve everything with your buddy buddy perfect communication skills. Janis has a giant who actually listens to her! Wow! You don't have to rub it in." I cross my arms over my chest, leaning back against the wall.

Aaron blinks, his gaze bouncing between both of us nervously.

"I wasn't-" Janis pauses, letting her hands fold in her lap. "I wasn't rubbing anything in. Listen- Regina, I'm sorry Gretchen won't listen. Truly. I'm being genuine right now. But don't make me feel guilty for trying to come up with a solution to something affecting all three of us."

"Right," I mumble, guilt rising in my stomach. "Sorry. I just-"

My voice trails off but neither Janis nor Aaron push for me to continue talking. Gretchen was somebody I could always trust to be there and listen to me. Now she didn’t. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to make her listen. We're silent for a while while I regroup my emotions, not wanting to snap for no reason again. 

"I have tried talking to Gretchen recently."

"And how did it go?" Aaron prompted.

"Well, it fucking went." I shrug. "Gretchen isn't used to having boys like her. I love her but crushes directed to her don't happen often. So of course she accused me of being jealous a boy finally liked her and not me."

"Maybe it had to do with how you worded it?" Janis suggests.

"Well, how else do I word 'hey maybe you should break up with the boy you're not even officially dating yet because he's toxic, a cheater, not actually in love with you, also harassing your tiny friends'?"

"Literally any way but that." Janis mumbled.

I shrug again, pulling out my phone. "Well, I did my best. You know emotions aren't my thing." I want to cry a little just thinking about the talk last week. But I don't. Crying won't fix anything. 

"Regina, why can't you be happy that a boy likes me for once?! I know you're used to all the boys falling head over heels for you, but this is the first time a cute boy has put in the effort to care and call back and-"

"But he doesn't, Gretchen! He doesn't call back. He. Doesn't. Care! I'm doing this for you because nobody else is gonna tell you. Jason is bad news. He doesn't care about you, or Karen, or Cady, or Damian, and he really doesn't give a shit about Janis, Aaron, or I!"

"Just let me be happy, Regina." Gretchen says dismissively, ignoring everything I just said.

There's a hand on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. Aaron looks at me worriedly but retreats his arm. "Gina, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just-" I wipe away a strand of hair that's been matted to my face by tears. Wait-

-tears?

I use my sleeve to dry my face quickly. I didn't even realize I started crying. I was just so tired. I was supposed to feel safe around my friends. Even when the rest of the school sees me as an emotionless bitch I should be able to turn to my friends and be okay. I couldn't do what when my current number one source of fear has intruded into our group.

"So," Janis says awkwardly. "We don't tell our giants directly. How do we get them to see the side of Jason we're seeing?"

"We catch him in the act." Aaron suggests.

Janis shakes her head with a sigh. "I am tired and quite frankly sick. I don't want our plan 'a' to be; lets put ourselves in danger in hopes that our friends stop by to witness. Let's make that plan 'y' or 'z'."

"Well, we already have plans 'b' through 'z'. We need and 'a', I'm just spouting ideas." Aaron points out.

Janis sighs, shaking her head. "I should have stuck with Damian. I need a nap and maybe an Advil."

I chuckled dryly at the girl sitting across from me. "Always have your priorities sorted, huh Janis?"

"If my priorities include being sick and not wanting to deal with Jason ever again then yeah."

"It's getting harder and harder 'not to deal with Jason ever again'," Aaron pointed out. "Remember lunch last week?"

"Don't remind me." Janis huffed. 

Last week Jason decided to be a lot more careless with how he treated us around our giant friends. 

I cringe just thinking of the memory.

"All I'm saying is the tiny soccer team is so underfunded. We're even better than the giant soccer team but you wouldn't know it because we've set up to fail."

I raise my eyebrow as Aaron sits next to me, passionately explaining how he swears the tiny soccer team is not a total failure. 

I sat in front of Gretchen and across from Janis, who was flopped against Damian's forearm clearly struggling to stay awake.

I grin as she yawns. 

"Am I boring you, Janis?" Aaron teases.

"A little," Janis says with full honesty.

Before Aaron can remark, a stack of textbooks is dropped in between him and I, narrowly missing me as I push myself backward.

Jason.

Janis's eyes widen and I instantly rush around the textbook to make sure Aaron is okay. He is, just looks equally as shaken up as I do.

Jason sits in the seat between Damian and Gretchen without bothering to great the tinies he just nearly crushed. It's where Cady normally sits, but she isn't here today.

"Jason!" Gretchen grins, pecking him on the cheek like I didn't just almost die.

I throw and exasperated look to Janis who laughs at my expense. 

She wasn't the one almost fucking crushed.

Janis pushes off Damian's arm, making her way over to Aaron and I.

Or tries to.

She doesn't make it very far before shes intercepted by a hand scooping her up.

Janis makes a noise of surprise as Jason lifts her off the table without asking.

I push myself closer to Gretchen as Janis instantly tries to get back down to the table. Jason's thumb knocks her down and I cringe because- that looked like it hurt.

Damian eyes Jason wearily but doesn't vocally say anything. But neither does Janis so why would anyone worry? It's just Jason. Sweet Jason. The boy who's probably gonna ask Gretchen to spring fling. Innocent Jason.

Janis sits up again, clearly uncomfortable, as Damian speaks. "Maybe I should hold Janis?"

"No," Jason says simply before Janis can even open her mouth. "She's fine."

"Janis," Damian ignores the boy next to him. "Do you want Jason holding you?"

Janis is silent for a while, and I don't blame her.

She's in Jason's hands.

One wrong more and shes getting hurt-

badly.

"I- I uh, kinda want to be with Damian right now? If that's okay?" Janis speaks slowly, picking her words wisely.

"That's okay!" Jason reassures her sweetly, passing the girl to her giant. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Aaron and Janis make an identical face of discussed at the sickly sweet tone and I can only assume my face is similar.

"It's okay." Janis says softly, visibly more relaxed in Damain's hands.

Jason forces a frown. "Well- I'll go give you space. Gretchen, I'll see you next period."

He gets up, walking away but I don't feel very bad for him. If anything, I feel safer. And if the collective breath of relief from Janis and Aaron was an indicator- they felt the same.

As soon as Jason was out of earshot, Gretchen turned to Janis. "Jason was just trying to be nice, Janis. You need to be willing to welcome him into our friend group."

Janis' jaw slacked. The 'are you kidding me' went unsaid. Instead, Janis forced out an "Of course, it's my fault." 

"I'm serious, Janis. Be nice." 

"I'm serious too." Janis shot back.

Aaron and I shared a look of helplessness. We couldn't just tell them. Our giants would never believe us.

To them, Jason could do no wrong.

"The only solution is to never go to lunch again." Janis speaks up, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Mhmm, sure. That's a reasonable solution." Aaron teases.

"You got something better, soccer boy?" Janis raises her eyebrow.

Aaron shakes his head. "We've reached a dead end. Gina? You got any ideas?"

I shake my head with defeat. "Unfortunately, no. All I know is Jason hates us and his goal is to make our friends hate us too through lying and manipulation."

"Go girl, give us nothing." Janis rolls her eyes. "We already knew that Regina."

"Okay, I get your sick and cranky, Janis, but I don't need you-"

"Okay!" Aaron interrupts me. "The three of us are stressed! We're worried. We're scared. But we're also all on the same page. Let's not go at each other's throats right now. We're the only ones who understand each other's struggles. Please stop fighting."

Janis and I both mumble a weak sorry. 

Aaron was right. We were all scared. Can you blame us? Jason was doing everything in his power to isolate us from our friends. For no other reason other then we're tinies and see-through his act. Why he wants Gretchen so bad is beyond me. But hell am I gonna let his toxic ass have her.

"Do you guys remember that scarf Gretchen wore last week?" I ask.

Janis tilts her head. "Yeah?"

"I don't pay enough attention." Aaron shrugs.

I grin. "Well, it was a baggy infinity scarf to refresh your memory. There was enough fabric that I could sit on Gretchen's shoulder next to her neck and not be seen. So I obviously skipped my boring history lecture. But also- Gretchen talked to Jason. He didn't know I was there."

"You're like a spy!" Janis grinned, invested in the story. "What happened?!"

"Hey, Gretchen!" Jason smiles, slipping his hand into Gretchen's as they walked down the hall.

I sunk lower into the pool of fabric, hopping Grethen didn't point out I was here.

"Hey, Jason!"

I let out a breath of relief when she doesn't.

"I have to ask you something," Jason asked.

My ears perk up as I wait for him to continue.

"Is that Janis girl always so- unfriendly? I get the feeling she doesn't like me. I just don't know why. Like Regina clearly doesn't like me very much but she might just be jealous you've got a boy and she doesn't-"

So that's where the seed of jealously in Gretchen's head was planted from. It takes all of me not the stand-up and call Jason out on his bullshit.

He continues.

"But I don't understand why Janis or Aaron wouldn't like me. Aaron just gets quiet and hey- maybe he's shy. But Janis lashes out every time I try and talk to her."

"Janis can be like that sometimes." Gretchen says, nodding in agreement.

Jason could tell her the earth is fucking flat and this bitch would nod in agreement.

I wouldn't be surprised if Gretchen is even really listening to what Jason is saying.

All she's thinking is 'hot boy's lips are moving'.

Ugh.

"At least he's caught onto the fact that I don't fucking like him." Janis crossed her arms.

"Janis, he's painting you to be the bad guy. He's trying to turn Gretchen against you, what don't you understand about that?" Aaron asked.

"Oh no, I understood. I just don't care. I hate Jason and I'm glad he's caught on."

"He hates you more." I point out.

"Impossible." Janis shook her head.

We go back and forth about who hates who more before settling on the fact that our collective hate for him outweighs anything he feels for us.

"Let's go meet our giants, it's getting late." Aaron said standing up. He holds out his hand, helping Janis up first, then me. 

Janis groans holding her head. "Still feel sick as fuck and standing up so fast did not help."

"Woe is you." I roll my eyes. "Let's go."

We walk through the school, making our way to the tiny pick up zone. We're halfway there as Aarons phone dings.

Its a text from Cady.

Aaron reads allowed: "Gretchen went home early so Karen is driving Regina home. Damian and Karen are still in after school help and I might be a bit late to pick you three up. Wait there for me, I swear I didn't forget about you guys."

I laugh. "Cady could never forget about us."

"I mean-" Janis starts. "There was the one ti-"

"Shut up." I cut her off. "Cady would never forget about her tiny friends."

We make it to the tiny pick up zone and sit against a wall to wait. It's no surprise that the hallway is empty. It's late after school on a Monday. Who would willingly still be in school?

There's footsteps down the hall and we all look up, expecting Cady.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Janis groans.

"Ever the pleasant one, Sarkisian." Jason jeers. 

"I'm tired, and sick, and will literally cry if you even touch me. I will bawl. And maybe bite. Don't come the fuck near me." Janis threatens, holding up a sharpened pencil like its a knife.

Jason doesn't seem intimidated by this action. "Whatcha gonna do? Nibble my finger?"

"Fuck off!" Janis whines, throwing her head back. "Literally any day but today."

"Listen whiney and friends. I just hear to pick you up for your friends. So stop being such a bitch Janis."

The friends that told us to 'wait here for Cady'?

Riiight.

I share a knowing look with Aaron while Janis gets up, making her way back into the tiny halls.

"Not fucking dealing with this. Good day asshole."

"Nope." Jason reaches forward, picking Janis off the platform. "You're coming with me bitch."

"This is kidnapping," Janis says flatly. She doesn't fight Jason or thrash. She looks tired, like death is appealing at this point. "I'm being abducted."

Jason's fingers tighten around her. "Thought you were the fisty one? Huh? Shane said you put up a pretty good fight. Where's the fight, Sarkisian?"

"You talked to Shane?" I gawk. I don't know why I'm surprised. They definitely seem like best friends.

"Can you put me the fuck down?" Janis huffs. "Kinda hard to breath."

"Oh, is it?" Jason said with feigned worry. "Shame."

Janis cried out as the hand around her tightened, and Jason grinned at the first real signs of fear Janis has shown yet.

"Put me down- asshole!" Janis wheezed. 

"Let go of her!" Aaron yelled.

It was moments like these when you really realize how helpless you were as a tiny. 

All I could do was sit and watch as Aaron yelled and Janis squirmed. All I could do was pray Cady or really anybody would walk past and see what's happening. 

Yeah, we've been threatened with death before.

Every tiny in Northshore has at least once.

And yeah, we've been pushed around before.

But I've never legitimately feared for my life of a friend's life.

I know maybe that's just a perk of being Regina Geroge, but this was new territory. And scary as fuck territory at that.

Jason seems pretty fucking pleased with himself and it makes my stomach twist. It's never gone this far before. 

Somebody is going to get really hurt.

And I can't do anything.

I can almost feel my heart stop as Janis goes limp. I can't see her face. 

But she's not fucking moving.

"Oh whoops." Jason shugs. "You tinies really are weak."

Aaron looks like if he could he'd fucking kill Jason.

Wouldn't we all.

"Put her down!" I yell, snapping out of my helpless funk.

Jason loosens his grip on Janis but she doesn't move. My breath feels caught in my throat. 

My eyes were trained on Janis and I didn't see Jasons another hand till his finger flicked into my side, sending me falling backward.

I felt like I was living through one of those dramatic fight scenes in the movies.

Expect isn't it the villains who are supposed to be defeated?

I'm curled into myself on the floor, Janis is knocked out in the literal hands of the enemy and Aaron looks ready to kill or cry, whichever is possible first.

Never thought I'd die in high school.

"Hey, Jason, is that you?" A voice calls from down the hall.

"Cady!" Aaron runs to the egde of the platform. 

Jasons condescending nature and snarl disappear. "Hello, Heron!"

"Is Janis asleep?" Cady asks as her eyes fall to Jason's hand. "She only ever falls asleep with Damian, either shes exhausted or really trust you."

The bitter laugh is out of my mouth before I can stop it. 

Cady looks at me and tilts her head. "Regina, why do you look like you've been crying on the floor?" She pauses, her eyes trailing back between the four of us. I can almost see the doubt set in her mind. Yes! "What's really going on here?" She asks. "And uh, I'm gonna take Janis-"

Jason shakes his head. "She's fine, it won't be necessary."

"No, I wasn't offering." Cady's voice is an unfamiliar cold. "I'll take Janis."

I stand up and make my way closer to Aaron as Cady takes Janis away from Jason. "Now, what the fuck is going on.

"Literally nothing, we're just talking and-"

"No! He's a fucking asshole and he-"

"Regina, what did I ever do to you?!"

"Are you kidding me?!" 

Cady looks between us nervously. "Uh, Aaron? Wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Gladly."

Cady steps over, picking both Aaron and I up. My mouth is still open from shock. 

What did I ever do to you?!

Fucking bitch, want me to list it?

"So uh," Aaron starts nervously. Cady cups her hands so I'm next to Janis who looks like she's beginning to stir but uh- I've never been suffocated before, maybe she's just sleeping at this point.

But she's breathing. It's reassuring enough for me.

"It started a couple months ago." Aaron continues. "Jason actually isnt very nice? To the tinies at least." He laughs nervously, leaning closer into Cady's hand and away from Jason, who isn't bothering to keep the nice facade up anymore. "He's actually like- Shane Omen but worse?"

"Worse?" Cady's jaw drops slightly in disbelief. 

"I mean- he held Janis so tight that she passed out so I'd fucking say so." I snark. 

Aaron nods. "Yeah, heh- like, I dunno. Just- not nice? He uh, flicked Regina, which is why she was laying down when you walked over. And like its not the first time he's done this? Especially when we're alone."

There's an unreadable look on Cady's face as she looks up to Jason.

It almost scares me.

"I'm gonna walk away. Just-" Cady gives a low laugh. "Jesus, I almost feel sorry for you, Jason. You deserve everything coming to you. Starting with Gretchen and Damian when they find out."

Despite everything, I can't help but smile at the way Jason's face falls with realization.

It's not a big secret that Gretchen loves an excuse to slap someone.

And this is hell of an excuse.

I look at Janis who is still laying next to me, breathing shallowly. 

We might have to bail Damian out of fucking jail.

Cady turns on her heels without saying another word to Jason and walks down the halls. Once he is out of earshot she looks down at us. "How long?!"

Aaron shrugs. "Since Gretchen first met Jason."

"That's like three months guys!" Cady looks genuinely heartbroken. "I can't believe we didn't notice."

Janis stirs next to me, weakly propping herself up. "Huh?"

There are tears in Cady's eyes as she stops walking. "You guy have been enduring this for three months?"

"No," I say. "Well- yes but not really. It was a build-up. He didn't just start attacking us to the point of death one random day. It started with little things. Like pushing us around and knocking us over."

"That shouldn't happen anyway!" Cady says sadly.

"But it did," Janis mumbled. She seems to have caught onto whats going on. "My chest hurts."

"I'm so sorry you guys," Cady whispers sadly. "I- how did we not notice?"

"Not notice what?"

I turn around to see Karen and Damian walking over. For a second my eyes trail behind them in search of Gretchen but- she went home. Of course.

"Cady, are you crying?" Damian asks, instantly worried. "Is everything okay? Where's Janis?"

"Right here, dude." Janis mumbles. She's looking down at her lap, her arms wrapped loosely around herself. She's still wheezing slightly and tears threaten to spill over her eyes. I don't blame her. That was almost death.

Janis almost died.

My breath hitches at the realization.

As a tiny, you almost die a lot. But- it's accidental. It's falling or almost being crushed. Never malicious actions of bigger peers. 

Cady offers her hands out and I step backward, letting Damian gently scoop up Janis. 

 "What happened?" Karen asks, peering over Damian's shoulder at Janis.

I look back to Cady trying to figure out if she's gonna talk or if Aaron and I have to explain. She's staring at Karen with a crestfallen gaze, tear tracks down her face. "Guys-" She starts. 

I know this is hard for her because she's taking it personally and blaming herself, but we really don't need the fanfare. 

Not that I'm gonna step up and tell the story. 

Karen steps towards picking up me and Aaron. Cady doesn't fight it, she just lets her hands fall to her side. "Y'know, Jason?"

"Yeah of course. Smile emoji." Karen says from above me.

I look over to Janis, who has her arm around Damain's finger. She's doing pretty well for passing out. God knows I'd be sobbing if that were me. Hell, the ache in my side is enough to make me want to cry right now.

"Not smiley face emoji, Karen," Cady explains softly. "I don't know the full thing, you're gonna have to ask the tinies but-"

Cady explains what she walked over to see and the minimal information she got out of us earlier. She left out a lot, but she didn't know a lot to be fair. The look of utter horror on our friend's faces almost made me feel bad. We barely scraped the top layer.

Damian is looking down at the girl in his hands who at some point in the bad retelling started crying again. Karen had held Aaron and I even closer and Cady looked ready to sit down and cry. Me too, Cady.  

"Three months?" Damian whispers weakly. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Why would you believe us? Jason's fucking great." Janis said bitterly, still clinging to his finger.

"Of course we would believe you, Jan."

"Gretchen didn't." I say softly.

I didn't really think about what I was saying. I was just mumbling to myself. But Karen heard. 

"You told her?"

I shrug. "Tried to. She didn't listen."

"Well, she's gonna listen when we tell her tomorrow," Cady says. "I can't believe you didn't tell us."

I shrug dismissively, not wanting to talk about it. "It's not a big deal."

I didn't mean it. Of course, it's a big deal. But I said it wasn't anyway. 

"You're telling me Janis almost died today and it's not the first time you guys have been through something like that, but don't worry it's not a big deal?!"

I pause, looking at the three giants. This was Aaron, Janis and I's normal. It's what we went through every day. Yeah, it's shitty but we're used to it. I forget sometimes the giants don't understand the fact not getting shoved around is normal for us. Being threatened and made fun of for our size is just part of an average day.

"Can we continue this with Gretchen at lunch tomorrow? I don't want this conversation twice. I feel even crappier than I already did before and I just want to sleep." Janis speaks up from where Damian held her protectively close. 

"You all better tell us everything tomorrow." Cady says. 

"Cady are you taking Aaron or should I get these two home?" Karen asks.

-

"This was a really funny joke guys." Gretchen says from above me. Despite her words, her voice is void of all amusement.

"Yes, because we're the type to make jokes about our tiny friends almost dying." Damian deadpans. Janis is sitting on the table in front of him looking like she'd rather talk about anything other than this.

I don't blame her.

But this could finally be my chance to get Gretchen to listen and believe me.

"Gretchen." I turn around to look up at her, but I'm on the table I need to crane my neck. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you have to believe us. Cady witnessed it with her own eyes if you don't believe me. Janis sure as hell can vouch since she nearly fucking died yesterday."

Gretchen doesn't respond for a long time. I feel like I can see the seed of doubt settle in on the situation. She reaches forward, scooping me up and bringing me to her shoulder. 

"I- I'm not sure what to believe," She admits. "but I'll listen. I'm sorry I didn't do that before."

That one sentence felt like so much weight being lifted. Jason had Gretchen around her finger. His word was law and everyone else could fuck themself.

But not anymore.

I open my mouth to speak but get cut off by a familiar and unwelcoming voice.

"Hello everyone!"

Cady's eyes widen in disbelief. "You aren't actually stupid enough to think about sitting with us today, right Jason?"

"Aw, why not?" He asks, sitting next to Gretchen and slinging his arm over her shoulder.

I gasp as I'm knocked forward, gripping onto Gretchen's shirt underneath me as I try to stay on. 

Gretchen bats Jason's arm away and scoops me up. "Jason we were talking about something private maybe it's better you join us again later."

Jason's eyes narrowed, as he looked across the table. I sunk lower in Gretchen's hand as his eyes landed on me but he moved on without trying anything. I mean- obviously, Gretchen was right here but still. 

Cady's hand was resting wearily by Aaron if Jason tried something and Janis had been transported to Damian's pocket when I wasn't looking. How could Gretchen not pick up on how stressed we all are?

"What's wrong?" Jason asked, turning to Gretchen.

"It's nothing for you to worry about. I just-"

"Did I do something wrong?" Jason's face fell and I almost felt bad for him. Almost. He should pursue an acting career.

Gretchen looked at loss for what to say for a second before speaking up. "Where were you yesterday after school?"

Jason scoffed. "Whatever Cady said was a lie, Gretch."

"I-" Gretchen froze. "I didn't mention Cady."

Jason's eyes widened as he began to backtrack but- it was too late. 

"Jason I need you to leave, please." Gretchen's hand was shaking as she placed me gently on the table. "There are some things I need to rethink."

"You really believe those tinies?" Jason's face morphed into utter disgust.

The mask was off, the act was over. Karen reached over, tugging me away from Gretchen and Jason and closer to her. 

"I should have believed them a while ago, apparently." Gretchen snapped.

Jason rolled his eyes. "Please. They're just tinies. What makes them so trustworthy? Actually- what makes them worthy?"

Karen lets out a legitimate gasp from above me. Gretchen looks to me with an expression I can't read. My breath feels caught in my throat. I can't shake the feeling that this may be where I lose my best friend. 

But she looks back at Jason. "I can't believe you really just asked that. Did you think that would help your point? What made you think- oh this will totally get Gretchen on my side? What is wrong with you?"

Jason looks dumbfounded at Gretchen's outburst. "Gretchen-"

I knew it was coming, so it was no surprise as Gretchen raises her arm, and a loud smack echos through the cafeteria over all the oblivious conversations. Jason gasps, his hand shooting up to his cheek. "You fucking bitch-"

"You have treated my friends awfully for too long. Go fuck off and find somewhere else to sit for lunch." Gretchen says simply, turning away from Jason.

Jason doesn't say anything as he looks across the table one last time. Aaron was still on the table but Cady had her hand cupped around him defensively, Damian's hand rested over his chest pocket and Janis gripped onto his finger. Karen had pulled against her arm where I sat pushed away as far away from Jason as possible. It was pretty clear he wasn't wanted here.

"Whatever." He bitterly admits defeat, pushing away from the table and walking away. Gretchen watched him leave before turning to me, wide-eyed.

"I can't believe I didn't believe you." She said sadly. "I can't believe I didn't believe any of you." I hold my arms out and Gretche complies, reaching over to scoop me up. "Regina, I'm so sorry."

I don't try and stop the tears that burn in my eyes as Gretchen holds me close to her.

We still have a lot to talk about after this but-

I've finally won after a long and painful battle. All our giants are awake and no longer oblivious to the suffering. 

I'm safe.

I cling to Gretchens's shirt as the tears poor over my eyes. Gretchen shakes and I realize- she's crying too.

I wouldn't be surprised if I turned around and the whole table was.

Jason was an asshole. He manipulated his way into the friend group and made my life miserable. Plus Janis and Aaron too, I guess. But he's gone now.

We don't have to worry anymore.

We're okay.

It will be okay.

2.5/10 not my best work but fun to write @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (126/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[20 July, 233 Before Age. Nagaoka.]

"Okay, so Treekul's in a bad spot. She should have been more careful about who she got mixed up with. Yeah, and she shouldn't have been so eager to run off on another quest. But that's what makes Treekul cool, you know? Other alchemical historians? They just sit in libraries all day, poring over dusty holo-fiches. But Treekul goes out and finds things. And for once, she had backup. Two Saiyans, Lesseri and Endive, and then we picked up a third, Guwar. With their support, I could discover all sorts of artifacts."

Treekul stopped, shook her head, and gestured to slow down. "I mean she could discover," she said. "Sorry. My therapist always told me this works better if I refer to myself in the third person. You'd think I'd be used to this by now, but I-- but Treekul's under a little more stress than usual. Like I said, it was handy to have three Saiyans backing her up, even if they only wanted her to find things for them, at least she knew no one would mess with her. And she scored some decent leads along the way. There's a treasure trove of artifacts in that penthouse on Quadzityz, assuming it survived the war. Lesseri and Endive killed the owner and wrecked the security systems, and most of that stuff isn't even valuable to anyone else. Nothing to stop Treekul from walking in and helping herself. Another paper for the academic journals. If she ever makes it out of this mess, that is."

She began to pace back and forth around her modest living quarters. The strips of red fabric that made up her "robes" trailed behind her legs as she walked.

"The Saiyans were looking for a cult," she continued. "And Treekul heard it was named after 'jindan', an alchemical term for mercuric sulfide. Or, rather, the fundamental principle that mercuric sulfide represents. So she saw an opportunity and agreed to help them find this cult, using her expertise with a geomantic compass. Guwar was a mathematician, if you can believe that, so he helped out with the calculations. He was a really nice guy. Bit of an inferiority complex, but I get the feeling that goes for every Saiyan."

She stopped herself again. "Not 'was', 'is'. Guwar is a nice guy," she said. "Just because no one's told me what happened to him doesn't necessarily mean he got killed in the war. It's just... Treekul could really use his help right now. Or even if he can't help, it'd be nice if he were here to listen to her, like he did back on the ship, before they found the Jindan cult.

"Turns out the cult was real all along, and they leave just enough bread crumbs out there so that other Saiyans can find them. Their leader is the Saiyan King, Rehval III, but here, he calls himself 'Trismegistus', a reference to the Thrice Blessed alchemist from ancient writings. Rehval seems to think he's uncovered some great secret, something that makes him the greatest alchemist ever, and from what I've seen, he might be right about that. His Jindan potion makes Saiyans even stronger, and he must have thousands of them working for him. Only trouble is that they have to give up their free will. Rehval tells them what to eat, when to sleep, they all have sex in some 'breeding pit' thing that I don't even want to think about..."

She paused to rub the bridge of her nose, then ran her hand over the short green hair on her lavender scalp. It was normally a satisfying feeling for her, but not this time, her hair was too long for that by now.

"The others all did whatever Rehval told them to. All they cared about was power. They brought Treekul here, and no one was interested in how she got home. No payday, no paper, no treasure trove of artifacts. Instead, Rehval decided to keep her as some sort of alien pet. He thinks he can train her to be an alchemist, and so far he hasn't done too bad a job of it, at least when he's not creeping on her. It makes me... It makes her want to scream. But that's okay. It's okay for her to be frightened. She's never been this afraid, and she's got good reason to be."

She stopped pacing and looked intently in the direction of her bed. "So here's the good news. Treekul has options. Sure, she's not any closer to getting off this planet than when she first arrived, but she hasn't been wasting time either. Treekul didn't get this far without being resourceful. She can be absolutely terrified and still get herself out of this. That's what makes her strong."

She went to a small writing desk along the wall of her room and picked up a scroll. It carried a faint odor of rotten eggs and olefins. "Rehval's convinced that she'll become his apprentice, I guess ruling over the Saiyans like a god isn't enough for him, he wants to pass down his knowledge of alchemy. Well, fine. If he's as talented as he says he is, maybe he'll show Treekul a little more than he should. Something she can use to get out of here. For instance, this scroll belonging to Mirdane talks about disguising yourself perfectly, even down to smell and ki signature. If Treekul can get good enough at alchemy to figure that out, she could walk right up to the shipyard and be halfway to the next star system before anyone knew she was missing.

"I know what you're thinking: Treekul's a quick study, but she's an archaeologist who studies alchemists, not an alchemist herself, so maybe that plan is little too ambitious. Fair point. Which is why she's been working other angles. The boss wants her to play one of his priestesses, right? He's dressed her up in a cocktail dress that went through a blender. Well, that gives her access to all his brainwashed goons, and all that undeserved authority that comes with it. She hasn't heard from the acolytes who offered to show me around the hangar, but they seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. Don't worry, when they finally take her on the tour, Treekul won't spend too much time there, just enough to get a feel for the place when it's time for her to snoop around by herself.

"And if that doesn't pan out there's always Endive. Too bad about her. For a while there, I was sure she'd turn on the boss. From what I hear, Rehval does something to the cultist's memories, so they don't recognize him as the king, even of they knew him before when he ruled Planet Saiya. At some point Endive must have found out that "Trismegistus" is the same guy who killed her father, but she doesn't seem to care. He's been using her for one of his casual sex hookups for weeks now. I thought..."

She stopped and took a seat in her chair, then looked down at the red flats on her feet. "I just thought-- Treekul thought Endive was smarter than that. She was so disciplined and focused. You'd think she wouldn't be so easily manipulated, but... she's become completely devoted to him, and the scariest thing is that you can tell she knows it's wrong. But enough about her. If Endive and Lesseri won't help Treekul, then Treekul needs to forget about them."

She stood up and started pacing again. "Speaking of sex... Treekul doesn't want to go down that road, but she has to keep it in mind. Rehval has his followers convinced that he needs a rotation of women to share his bed. Something about 'balancing his bodily humors', but I think we all know he just wants to have a good time. He wants Treekul for some reason. All those women at his beck and call, and he wants the one woman on the planet who isn't interested. It's like he's waiting for her to fall madly in love with him. Yeah, good luck with that. Still... if she's going to earn his trust, she need to play along with his expectations. Maybe she ought to flirt a little, so he'll think his plan is working. He's not exactly unattractive, it's the whole 'delusions of grandeur' thing that's a turn-off."

Treekul stopped and crossed her arms as she looked at the bed. "Here's the problem. If she's not careful, he'll probably get bored with her and have her brainwashed like everyone else on this planet. Or he'll just kill her for being an alien. On the other hand, if she's too careful, and Treekul waste too much time playing the eager disciple, the he won't need to brainwash her, because she'll basically be doing it for him. Ugh! What a fix."

"Um, were you finished?"

"Huh?"

The Saiyan man lying on her bed had sat up and pointed to his ears, which were stuffed with wax. "I'm on duty in ten minutes," he said. "Unless you need me to stay here..."

Treekul gestured at her own ears for him to remove the wax, and so he did.

"Yeah, all finished," she said. "You were amazing, Zhoybok."

"It's an honor, madam priestess," he said as he rose from the bed, "but I really don't understand your species' mating practices. You didn't even touch me the whole time."

"Oh, you don't remember any of it, then?" Treekul asked in mock concern. "I guess the psychic vibrations must have been beyond your comprehension. That happens with aliens who lack the secret eighth sense my people have. You probably just hallucinated me pacing around and talking to myself."

Zhoybok was astonished. "As a matter of fact, I did!"

"To tell you the truth, a lot of my kind frown on this sort of thing. They think it's perverse to have this level of intimacy with life forms who can't experience it properly. But for me, I think that's part of the thrill. It's so... savage, don't you think?"

Zhoybok wasn't sure what to say, but he wasn't interested in disputing the words of a priestess, so he accepted her compliments and excused himself. Once he was gone, Treekul shook her head and lay down on the bed. Lying was tiring work, even to someone as gullible as Zhoybok.

"I really need to get more comfortable about talking to myself," she said.

*******

[20 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

There were only four people aboard Luffa's star-yacht, which now criss-crossed the worlds of the Federation in a frantic effort to keep pace with the Jindan Cult's attacks. The Federation defenses were spread thin, and if any invading ship managed to land on a planet, there were few who could stand up to the alchemically-empowered Saiyans inside. Luffa was getting better at fighting them, but their numbers were beginning to take a toll on her body. Dr. Topsas, her personal physician, had found ways to heal her in time for the next battle, while the clairvoyant Dotz had proven handy at predicting attacks before they happened, so Luffa could plan her travel. The fourth passenger on board, Zatte, was Luffa's wife, and she was beginning to wonder if she served any useful purpose here at all.

"That's ridiculous," Wampaaan'riix said when she shared her frustrations with him over the subspace radio. The Yetitan looked as enormous as ever, despite the desktop monitor scaling down his nine-foot-tall frame. "You practically operate the entire ship by yourself."

"So did Keda," Zatte said. She was rubbing the muscles in her arms and legs while she spoke to him. "And she did it better than I ever could."

"And you find no honor in succeeding a fallen comrade?" Wampaan'riix asked.

"It's not enough," Zatte said. "Keda didn't recognize Luffa as a xan-nil'Dor. For her, Luffa was a friend, and sort of a business partner, I guess you could say. For me, she's my wife, and an instrument of Providence. I have to do better. Especially now."

It was almost impossible to read his expressions through the coat of long white hair that covered most of his face, but the way Wampaaan'riix narrowed his eyes was unmistakable. "You're not thinking of going with her into the field?" he asked warily.

"I already have," Zatte said. "At first it seemed to be just what I wanted. I'd set up somewhere safe and shoot down cultists to keep them off Luffa's back. Trouble is, she took it as a challenge. Lately, she's been making it her business to take out the enemy before I can get a shot off. And that's romantic and all, but--"

"You two are insane," Wampaaan'riix grumbled.

"Look, I have to be there for her," Zatte said. She had moved on to stretching her hamstrings. "She's fighting a war against her own kind. Even the Saiyans on our side don't fully trust her. She doesn't let it show, but I know how much it eats at her. I can't imagine what it would be like to fight other Dorluns."

"I agree, she needs your support," Wampaaan'riix said. "But if you keep pushing yourself you may not be there when she needs it the most. This Dotz woman. She can predict the enemy attacks, can't she? Why not ask her for help? If she can tell Luffa where to go and when, then she can do the same for you, right?"

"That's the problem," Zatte said. "Dotz can't see Luffa's fate, only the planets and battles that lie ahead. We only know Luffa will get involved when Luffa decides to intervene."

"Strange, but even if that's true, why not see what Dotz can read about your own future?" Wampaaan'riix suggested. "I'm surprised you haven't already. You're a survivalist after all."

"I... I can't," Zatte said. She rose from the foam mat on the deck of her cabin and approached the desk.

"Well why not?" Wampaaan'riix asked. "It can't be a moral objection. You seem to have no problem with any of Dotz' other readings."

"Look, I... I have to go. I'll call you back, okay?"

"Just promise me you'll do it in the daytime," Wampaaan'riix groaned. "I know you've been in space a long time, but my den is on a different day-night cycle than--"

She hastily switched off the monitor, and a second later Luffa entered the cabin.

"I set the slow cooker for three hours," Luffa said as she rubbed her hands together. "How long before we get to Dodjem?"

"Tomorrow morning," Zatte said. They met in the center of the cabin and embraced.

"Dotz thinks there'll be ten Jindan Saiyans there," Luffa said with a smile. "Should be interesting."

"I'm going with you," Zatte insisted.

"Oh, I can handle ten," Luffa assured her.

"Then I'll watch you through my scope," Zatte said. "Or I'll shoot a few down for you, but either way, I'm coming along."

"Heh. Okay. You worry too much, you know that?"

"Someone has to," Zatte said. "Dotz still can't see your future, you know."

"Well, her other predictions are getting better," Luffa said. "On Shoust IV, she managed to get an accurate count on the enemy. She even located them to within a one mile radius. I think her powers are really coming along."

"Yeah, but she can't see your future."

"Does that still bother you?" Luffa asked.

Zatte tightened her grip on Luffa's torso and swung her onto the nearby bed. A moment later, she was had climbed on top of Luffa, planting her hands on her shoulders.

"No, it doesn't," Zatte said. "Not anymore."

"I'm not sure how to respond to that," Luffa said with a grin.

"I thought about it," Zatte said after giving her a long kiss. "I prayed about it too. Is it all right if I light some candles?"

"Uh, sure, knock yourself out," Luffa said.

Zatte rolled off of Luffa and went to a storage cabinet on the other side if her cabin. She removed four candles and laid them on the floor in a trapezoid formation surrounding the bed. After she lit each one, she got back in bed and knelt beside Luffa.

"Is the scent too much for you?" Zatte asked. "I know how sensitive your nose is."

"It's fine," Luffa said. "Smells kind of nice, really."

"It's not exactly sacred," Zatte said. The incense is just to keep insects away during religious observances. It makes me feel closer to Providence, though. So does this."

She placed her hand on Luffa's neck, and rested her thumb where she could take her pulse. The she took a deep breath and muttered something in her native language.

"Uh, what's going on here, exactly?" Luffa asked.

"I realized that I was letting Dotz' abilities cloud my faith in you," Zatte said. "I promised myself that I wouldn't ask her to read my future. I was worried that she might find out that I end up living without you somehow."

"I won't leave you, Zattie," Luffa said. "We've had our ups and downs, but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I have to trust that," Zatte said. "That's why I can't let Dotz's predictions bother me. She's getting better at them, but not when it comes to you. That scared me for a while, so I started meditating on it."

"Go on," Luffa said carefully.

"I came to realize that it makes sense that Dotz can't see your fate, because you're part of the Divine Plan. If she knew what you were going to do and when, then it would be like she was seeing into the mind of Providence."

"Or maybe I'm just so powerful that my ki interferes with her readings," Luffa suggested.

"Sure, that could be all it is," Zatte said. "But I like the version that supports my fanatic devotion to you."

She leaned over to kiss Luffa, still taking her pulse as they embraced. Luffa pulled away gently, and shook her head.

"You know how uncomfortable I get with this stuff," she said.

"I know," Zatte said. "But you keep getting hurt out there, and Dotz doesn't know what will happen next, so this is how I cope."

"I mean, you tell me I'm like God's righteous bludgeon or something, but the other night you... well, it was great, but maybe it was sacrilegious?"

Zatte straddled Luffa again, and held down her shoulders. "It's okay," she said. "Sex is a consecration ritual in my culture."

"Oh yeah?" Luffa asked.

"Dorluns value survival. People don't usually have sex while they're being chased by predators. They do it when they're safe and secure. And it can bring about new life."

"Huh. Maybe that's why my own people are so uptight about it," Luffa said. "In public, I mean. I've always had... ah!... mixed feelings about being safe."

"It's all in how you look at it. We're flying through a vacuum, faster than the speed of light, through a war zone, on a pleasure craft with no crew. And we're not exactly dressed for action right now. But if you're still bored, I'll... mmph!... I'll see if I can keep you amused for a while."

*******

[21 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

The battle on Dodjem went as smoothly as could be expected. Dotz' prophecies were mostly accurate, and Luffa was able to surprise the enemy before they noticed her ship. They fought back ferociously, and Luffa's right shoulder was scorched by a ki attack, but Dr. Topsas was confident that he could heal this in a matter of days. Dodjem was liberated in less than two hours, and Luffa proceeded on her way to the next battle Dotz had predicted, in the Ryllax System.

"Careful," Luffa said, guiding Zatte's hand away from her banadaged shoulder. She had set up the slow cooker once again, and the two of them had convened in Zatte's cabin.

"Does it hurt?" Zatte asked as she gingerly lifted Luffa's blood-stained shirt over her head and other arm.

"Sure it hurts, but that's not the point," Luffa said. "Doc'll really be sore if you mess up his bandanges."

"It's a wonder the whole ship isn't full of this stuff," Zatte said. She tossed the shirt at the laundry receptacle, but it hit the rim and fell out instead. "I mean, where does he put it all after he cuts it off of you?"

"He eats it," Luffa said.

"You're kidding."

"No, seriously. I've seen him do it. He makes all of these bandages from his own webbing. It takes a lot of protein to make that work, so he doesn't like to waste it."

"I had no idea," Zatte said. "You think you know a guy... whuh--!"

Luffa pulled her close with her good arm. "Forget about him for now. I wanted to talk about that shot you took back on Dodjem."

Zatte's expression shifted from genuine surprise to feigned innocence. "Oh, did that bother you, darling?"

"I thought one of those Jindan bastards found you," Luffa said. "I had one of them wide open, ready to kill, and I had to pass it up so I could chase the other one down before he found you."

"He had no idea where I was hiding," Zatte boasted.

"I know," Luffa said. "Even I couldn't find you. How am I supposed to watch your back if I don't even know where you are? You're taking a big risk out there, you know that, right?"

"That's the way," Zatte said. "Talk dirty to me."

"Oh, I'll do more than talk before I'm through with you," Luffa said with a grin. "I'll-- dammit..."

She rolled away from Zatte and drew her arms to her chest.

"Let me see," Zatte said.

"It's nothing," Luffa insisted. "Just give me a minute."

"Let me see," Zatte insisted back. Luffa made an irritated grunt, but didn't resist when Zatte took her hands in her own.

"I was starting to think your hands had stopped trembling," Zatte said as she massaged Luffa's palms. It didn't actually do anything to improve the situation, but it made them both feel better when she did this. "I haven't seen you stuff them in your pockets much lately."

"It's... it's not as bad as it used to be," Luffa said. "I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with Katem, but I think it still helps. Maybe it's all your prayers."

"He's kind of a hot mess," Zatte said.

"Just like his mom, huh?" Luffa chuckled.

"You're not a bad mother, Luffa. What happened wasn't your fault."

"I know," Luffa said. "It doesn't help much, but I know."

"You're still worked up about Fytpall, aren't you?" Zatte asked.

"I've seen worse in my time," Luffa said.

"Maybe, but you were pretty shaken up when you came back from that one," Zatte said. "You don't usually stick around and see what the civilians are going through."

"I'm just... I'm not strong enough, Zattie. I know that sounds stupid coming from me, but I know I could do better than this. If I was just a little better, I could..."

"You're good enough, okay? And maybe you can get stronger, but you can't just get there instantly. It's like you always tell me when we spar."

Luffa didn't say anything, but her heavy sigh was response enough. Zatte continued to rub her thumbs into the scars on Luffa's hands.

"You don't have to be tough for me," Zatte said. "It's okay. It's okay."

Soon enough, the tremors in Luffa's hands subsided, and they went back to what they were doing, although the mood had shifted from flirtation to comfort. Within thirty minutes, their clothes lay on the deck, and they were entangled in the sheets. Zatte occasionally said something in her own language, and kept her finger on Luffa's carotid artery as she muttered to herself. Eventually, she sat up and cradled Luffa's upper body in her lap.

*******

[24 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

"I was so busy favoring my shoulder that I left my knee wide open!" Luffa grumbled. The campaign on Ryllax had ended hours ago, but Luffa's clothes and hair still carried the scent of Ryllaxian pollens from the battlefield.

"Are you going to make it to Eirzee IV?" Zatte asked as she carried Luffa's pants to the laundry receptacle. She took in the strange aroma one last time before shoving the clothes into the hatch.

"Oh, sure," Luffa said. "Doc repaired the worst of it, and I'll have to play it more carefully, but now he's gonna kick me out of the kitchen!"

"You don't know that," Zatte said.

"I can practically hear him, Zattie," Luffa said. "'Saving planets is one thing, but I'll not have you undoing all my work making a casserole, little mammal.'"

"What, now you can see the future, too?" Zatte asked. She was setting up candles around the bed again.

"Heh, maybe. I guess Old Darbock's genes are finally kicking in," Luffa said. "But it looks like I only know how to predict cranky doctors, so Dotz's job is probably safe."

"Well, I hate to take sides, but we can get by on leftovers for a while," Zatte said. "You cook too much food anyway."

Luffa lay back in the bed and groaned. "Still? I keep cutting the portions down for you guys, and it's still too much? That's insane..."

"I'm going to do my litany now," Zatte said. "Any requests?"

"I, uh, I don't think so," Luffa said. "Well, bless Dotz again. And Doc, and the others. And yourself."

Zatte began speaking slowly and methodically, reciting lines from the Dorlun Holybook in her alien tongue. Luffa only knew bits and pieces of her language, but Zatte had been happy to translate for her whenever she asked.

Luffa felt strange whenever her wife did these kinds of observances. She had never been comfortable with being a "chosen one" in Zatte's theology-- or anyone else's, for that matter. And yet, watching this woman pray over her so fervently was somehow inspiring. Zatte had suffered so much in her life, and yet she refused to abandon her principles. It reminded her of Saiyan pride, though Luffa supposed that most beings would just call it stubbornness. Zatte was too zealous to give up hope.

"Thank you for letting me do this," Zatte said when she finished.

"No problem," Luffa said. "Your language is pretty."

She leaned over and fetched a bottle of oil from the edge of the bed. Carefully, she dispensed a small portion onto her fingers, then dabbed it on Luffa's throat and wrists, tracing along the path of major blood vessels.

"All done," Zatte said.

"You've been really ramping up the religious stuff lately," Luffa said. "The litanies, the candles, the oil. I don't really get it myself, but is it helping you?"

"I think so," Zatte said. "The Dorluns prefer not to waste resources on empty ceremony. Some types of xan-nil'Dor call for physical labor. Farming a plot of land, or defending an important place. You, though, well, you're damn near invincible, so you're pretty low-maintenance. I just need something to do. A routine to renew my devotion to your cause."

"Like a practice drill," Luffa said.

Zatte rose from the bed and started putting out the candles. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that. I may not be able to stop your hands from shaking, but at least I can show that I care. I think that's worth doing."

"Maybe," Luffa said. "It's not a big deal. They don't interfere with my fighting."

Zatte lay down beside her and took her hands in her own. "It just reminds me of what you've been through. I can't take away your pain, but I can try to empathize. You taught me how important that is."

"I taught you?"

"Sure. You're the most compassionate person I know."

*******

[27 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

Dr. Topsas did not order Luffa out of the kitchen, though after the battle on Gairess, he began to wish he had. He implored Luffa to wait before heading off into another battle, but the point was moot. Dotz had no new predictions, and so Luffa found herself with no choice but to wait. Once more, she spent the evening in her wife's cabin.

"I... I gotta admit," Zatte said as she tried to catch her breath. "Even with the broken ribs... you really--"

"Is this messed up?" Luffa suddenly asked.

"Is what messed up?"

Luffa pointed at herself and then at Zatte. "Us," she said. "I mean, you've got the candles set up, you say a prayer before we go to bed, and then we talk about almost getting killed to get in the mood."

"Don't forget the sparring," Zatte said.

"You know, I never sparred with Kandai," Luffa said. "He never wanted to, and I never questioned it. He was so much stronger than me that he didn't see the point. But the gap between you and me is even bigger, and I love sparring with you."

"We're aliens," Zatte said. "I'm cut off from my own people and you're unique among yours. There's nothing conventional about us."

"I know, but... Zattie, are you ever afraid?"

"Of course," Zatte said. "Fear keeps you alive."

"I mean, are your afraid right now?" Luffa asked.

"Here? With you?" Zatte asked. "No. Are you afraid?"

"Yeah," Luffa said.

"About the war? Your son?"

"I'm afraid I'm not good enough," Luffa said. I feel like I'm gonna screw this up. Like I have before."

She reached for Zatte's face, and gently removed the patch from her right eye, revealing the scar tissue and prosthetic implant underneath.

"If it's me you're worried about..." Zatte began, but Luffa put her finger on her lips to silence her.

"I know, you're prepared to burn for me, or suffer whatever it takes, right? I wish I had a tenth of your courage. I wish... well, I wish there was some other Super Saiyan handling this."

"Aren't you always saying you're stronger than they were?" Zatte asked.

"Maybe I am, but I bet the old heroes never had to deal with the kind of baggage I've got."

"This is about your hands, isn't it?" Zatte asked. She took Luffa's palms into her own, and held them steady in case they began to tremble.

"It was four years ago," Luffa said. "I should have gotten over it by now. I should have gotten over Keda's death, I should have gotten over everything... The old heroes never had to deal with this sort of thing. They just fought and won. Nice and simple. I'm fighting, and I'm winning, but I keep dwelling on it all. Worrying about battles from the past, wondering how I'm going to do in the next ones."

"Maybe they had it just as bad," Zatte said. "Maybe the storytellers just left those parts out."

"Sometimes I wish things were different, you know? You told me before this is exactly how you wanted things to be, but I bet you'd like it better with Keda still alive. Or hell, the rest of the colony."

"But they're not alive, Luffa," Zatte said. "I have to accept that they're gone."

"I could have saved them all," Luffa said. "I had the power. I must have had it inside me all along. If only I had known how to use it then. When it would have mattered. If only I wasn't such a coward..."

"Don't say things like that!" Zatte said. "I know you use that kind of talk to get yourself fired up, but I don't want you believing that sort of thing. You're the bravest person I know."

"It's not enough," Luffa said. "That's what I worry about, anyway."

"And that's what the candles and the prayers are for," Zatte said. She lifted Luffa's hands slightly. "I don't just pray for the tremors to stop," she said. "I pray that the tremors won't interfere with your mission. I pray that you can accept what you are the way I do. You know why?"

Luffa didn't answer, so she lay down beside her and took her hand.

"Maybe you're right, and maybe another Super Saiyan could deal with this better than you could. You've told me that you think there might be another one like you, a thousand years from now. Well, I don't think the universe can wait that long. I think we need a Super Saiyan right now, and you're it."

"You're right," Luffa said. "It's just hard to see it that way from the inside. All these fights I've been having with these cultists, they start to run together after a while. It'd be different if they were stronger, or if I could come at them healthy. But they keep chipping away at me, and there doesn't seem to be any end to it..."

"We've got some time, at least," Zatte said. "Dotz hasn't seen anything new coming up, right? Remember how you used to fly over the coastlines on Luffasworld?"

"Yeah," Luffa said, "but that's way out in the galactic core. By the time we got there--"

Zatte put a finger on her lips. "I know that, but Woshad's not far away. We could take a few days to look around there."

Luffa seemed pleased by the suggestion, but before she could speak, a chirping noise sounded from the cabin's intercom, and both women looked up to see the light blinking on the panel on the wall.

"Um, this is Dotz," came the voice through the speaker. "Well, um, the service robot told me I could talk to the whole ship this way, and I thought it might be faster than trying to find everyone. Despye's been attacked. Or, well, it will be in about twenty hours. It looks pretty bad to me. I saw about twenty Saiyans, and one of those rock creatures they use."

"Oh no..." Zatte said.

"I, uh, set a course for Despye," Dotz continued, "and we should be heading there now, but I thought one of you should check to make sure I did it right. I'm still getting used to the helm controls..."

"We won't get there in twenty hours," Luffa grumbled. "Those bastards will have a head start, again. Even if the fleet can get there before us--"

"I know, I'll take care of it," Zatte said. She rolled out of the bed and went to find her clothes. "You need to get some sleep."

"Fine, but make sure you get some yourself," Luffa said. "I mean... you're going with me, right?"

"So I can watch you wipe them out before I can even line up a shot?" Zatte asked. "Sure, if you want me to."

"Actually," Luffa said as she patted her swollen knee, "I was thinking I might lure a few in for you to shoot. Make things a little easier. For Doc, you know?"

Zatte grinned as she pulled her shirt over her head, and most of that smile was still there when she turned to look back at Luffa. "For Dr. Topsas," she said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "Makes sense. He's been working pretty hard lately."

"Just don't stay up all night cleaning your guns, okay?" Luffa muttered.

Zatte pulled on a pair of shorts and headed for the door. "Anything you say," she chuckled as she headed out into the corridor.

NEXT: Rats in mazes.

[nickmuch]

c.z.k - high school (part 1)

PART 2 / PART 3

Note: another day, another nothing-to-do-at-work-so-imma-write moment! This time for my baby z bc why not. Also, this ended up being WAY longer than expected. Wrote nearly 5 pages, but that’s what happens when you’re bored

I walked down the hallway quickly. The bell would soon ring and I really didn’t feel like being late to class. Again. On my second official day on this new school. So, I picked up my pace thinking it was a good idea, but oh boy was I wrong. Keyword: boy.

Suddenly, I bumped into something and fell down. When I looked up, I saw a tall boy with pretty tan skin. He was beautiful. His hair was twisted into dreads and pulled together by a baby blue scrunchie to securely get them out of his face. He had mesmerizing deer eyes, his lashes so long and beautifully curled. And his lips. Oh god, his lips. Slightly pouty and parted. A hand was stretched out in front of me. He spoke first, making me abruptly stop staring at him and turn my gaze low.  “You good? Did you hurt yourself of something?”. Grabbing his hand, I allowed him to help me on my feet. “Erm … no, it’s all good. Sorry, I wasn’t really looking because I- “. The ring of the bell interrupted me. “- was gonna be late to class. And now I am” I finished. He gave me a quick nod before slowly making his way down the other side of the hall, probably already wondering what stupid story he had to tell his teacher for being late.

“Honestly, if you are allowed to skip, then I am too”. Startled by the voice I turned around just to be met by my friend Edwin. Beside him, a boy with glasses and tousled dark hair waved at me shily. We weren’t even really friends yet. My parents were no longer here so his mom decided that as the daughter of her best friend, I should stay with them from now on instead of a shelter or relative I didn’t even know. Truth be told, I hadn’t seen the Honorets in years since my mom used to always visit them on her own during her business trips to New York. However, they made me feel welcome and home quite immediately, so I didn’t feel uncomfortable with staying with them. At first, Edwin protested a little bit because me moving in meant that he had to room with his two little siblings, so I could have his.

“Edwin and friend of Edwin, go to class”. Rolling my eyes, I tried to make my way down the hall. “Mrs. Robertson won’t let you in her class now anyways. She doesn’t tolerate tardiness” his friend spoke. “And you are?” I asked kind of annoyed. “Oh, that’s Brandon” Edwin chirped in. “And we” he gestured between the three of us before locking his arm with mine and the other with Brandon’s. “Are going to enjoy this beautiful free lesson”. And thus, we reluctantly followed him into the empty art room, so he could finish his painting while Brandon and I just mingled around, occasionally saying a thing here and there.

“Ed, I am hungry! We’ve been in this room for hours now. Haven’t you finished your painting by now?” Brandon complained. I just agreed with an exaggerated nod of my head. “Ugh, fine! You guys are too uncultured to understand the true beauty and excitement in this. An artist needs their time and full concentration to paint a masterpiece and-” he rambled without an end on sight.

“Is he always like this? I’ve only been here for a week and most of my time was spent with the kiddos anyways”. His friend laughed and answered with a genuine smile and nod. “- but since it’s time for lunch now anyways and I am starving, I think it’s time for a proper break”.

Happily, we jumped up and dragged him behind us to the cafeteria. After getting our food, they slowly made their way towards a table in the back of the lunch room. Three guys were already sitting there talking and when we got closer, I noticed a familiar face. My cheeks burned under his heavy gaze. “Guys, this is my friend I told y’all about” Edwin turned to them to fully introduce me. “… so this is Austin” he pointed to the boy with the anime backpack on his side of the table. Austin gave me a quick smile before the shorter boy with a base cap on his head spoke up. “I am Nick. Nice to meet you”. He shook my hand firmly and sat down.

“And this is –“

“Zion” the boy from earlier interrupted Ed. “Uhm, yeah. This is Zion. Thanks for interrupting, man. I am totally used to this by now” he complained about his friend, which made the rest of the group laugh. Everyone, but me and Zion. His eyes never left mine when I sat down between Ed and B. It made me feel nervous to have a guy stare at me like that. It wasn’t even a staring, but more like an observing. I felt like he didn’t like me, though. His gaze made me feel uncomfortable and like an intruder to their group. Shaking my head slightly, I tried to join the conversation between the other four. “This party will be massive!” Nick exclaimed. “It’s the beginning of the school year, everyone will go. Trust and believe!”. Brandon and Austin seemed so hyped about it already, dragging Nick into their own little conversation to plan everything for the upcoming night. “We’re going, right?” Edwin asked me precisely.

Honestly, it was really nice and cute of him to include me in everything and making me genuinely feel like a part of his family and friends. He had even introduced me as his “twin sister from another mister” to our teachers. Our math teacher was very confused by it and asked Edwin how that was even possible, to which he only answered with “Mr. T! With all due respect, but you’re asking too many questions, sir. She’s my twin sister that used to live somewhere in Canada or something, ion even know. T’was Canada, right?”. He didn’t even give me a chance to answer him. “Doesn’t really matter. What matters is, that she’s here and she’s here to stay! And we might not look alike and she might have a different last name”. This made me cackle. “But! She’s still my twin sister and that’s all to know”. Mr. Toya seemed to regret even asking by the way he had already dragged Edwin out of his class in hopes of making him stop talking.

“Sure” I answered him with a soft smile. It was clear that they wanted to go and I didn’t want to be the party pooper by saying no. “Great! Aye yo Z, you picking us up by 8 then?”. That’s when I noticed that his eyes were still on me. Zion nodded shortly without ever breaking eye contact.

Later in the evening I found myself in Edwin’s room – or how he liked to call it “the twin closet” since more than half of it was full with boxes of mine and also his clothes. He sure had more things to wear than I did, though. “Look, if you wear this white crop t-shirt” he rummaged through a box of mine. “And this silky thingy here” he was holding up my darkish red silky jogger pants. “Plus your white air force one’s and this dope black fanny pack” he handed me all the items. “Then, you won’t overshine my fit and we gucci”. His smile was so dangerously serious that it made me not want to mess with him when it came to outfits. So, I just gave him an “Okay”, and got up to get dressed in the bathroom.

Even though, I didn’t feel like going, I still found myself in the backseat of Zion’s car quietly humming along to the Drake and PARTYNEXTDOOR song that was playing. It was nice and chill rather than too loud and hype on our way to the place. The boys didn’t even let him finish park the car before running off to god knows where in the house. “I guess it’s only you and me then, tonight” he said. I was okay with this, even though his presence did make me feel nervous since I couldn’t really read him as easily as I could with the rest of PRETTYMUCH. Apparently their 5-person-group had a name due to the fact that he used to over-use the word back in middle school and thus, it just stuck with them from then on.

“Z! Over here!” A girl with long and straight dark hair waved from the other side of the front yard. Her black dress was cut low in the front, complimenting her curves perfectly. With her heels-clad feet, she tried to make her way over to him. “Shit, gotta go! You on your own, I guess”. He rushed over to her before she could reach us, giving her a tight hug and leaving me all by myself in a foreign neighborhood of a foreign city with foreign people surrounding me. Great.

I spent most of the night in the kitchen, drinking some soda out of a blue solo cup. A couple hours had passed and three drinks later, I found myself wandering around the big house trying to find the bathroom. The one on the ground floor was obviously occupied by some horny teenagers, so I went upstairs. On my way down again, I heard faint music playing from one of the rooms.

Curiosity took the best of me and even though there was a high possibility I was going to walk into a couple trying to have fun, I still decided to open the door. To my surprise I didn’t find anyone in there trying to do the deed, but instead I found Zion sitting on the edge of the bed. One hand playing with his cup and the other gripping onto his phone securely. He didn’t even notice me with his eyes lowly staring at his feet.

“I sure hope it’s just some water you’re drinking”. His head shot up, tensing, before letting loose once he realized it was just me. “It’s coke. No alcohol. I don’t really drink”. He gave me an all over look before motioning for me to sit down next to him. The bed was small, so our legs were touching.

“What happened to your lady friend? Why are you chilling here all alone?” I wanted to know. After all, they did seem very familiar earlier. “Asya? Nah, she’s just a good friend of ours. A bit like a little sister”. Understanding what he said, I nodded and just continued to aimlessly look around the room. “And for the all alone part” he spoke up after a while. “I don’t feel like partying.”. “Yeah, same” I breathed out.

“Tell you what?”. He looked up with his full attention on me now. “You seem stressed and I think you might need someone to talk to that’s not part of your little PRETTYMUCH group” grinningly I said. With my hand I pushed his chest to make him lay down on the bed. Zion obliged and I waited for him to get comfortable before grabbing his phone to play another song. “Now tell me”. My head rested right next to his and my body was pressed right on him. Every inch of my left side was touching him somehow. “I’ll start then if you want?” I figured it would be easier for him to open up that way. With that, I told him about it all. From the reason I ended up in New York to Edwin’s glorious idea that I would be his twin. “I should’ve known. Edwin and his egghead always on some weird shit, I swear.” He had said in realization. Also, I let him know about my worst and best childhood memories, or the first time I tried to sneak out and how my dad caught me. Basically, everything that came to my mind.

“I don’t know what to say. It’s hard for me to talk about feelings and stuff” he finally said after I was done talking. No more stories were left to be told, I think he knew me better than I knew myself by now.

“Oh, so you like someone? Feelings and all?”. Patiently I waited for him to answer. This time, it was me who searched for his eyes to lock them in place with mine. For a second, I could feel him stop breathing. The soft voice of Bryson Tiller took over the room.

“There’s a time and place for all this

This is not the place for all this

Is there a reason why you’re saying all this?

And can we talk about it later?”

His gaze flickered between my eyes and over my face. “Maybe”. He licked his lips nervously. “Kinda. Or maybe not. I don’t know”. He grew more and more anxious by the second and I was sure he thought he was doing a great job by keeping a poker face, but really he was horrible at it. I could finally read him and to tell the truth, I didn’t mind what I found out.

Now, my heart started beating faster and doubt was slowly taking over me. Yet, I still said “Then find it out. Just take the risk”. With one last inhale of air, Zion took all of his courage and leaned in, capturing his soft lips with mine. It felt different, but a good different. A different I could get used to. My hand cautiously crept up his arm, delicately going up and down while we found a steady rhythm. A small moan escaped his lips. I silently prayed to god and begged him to make this moment last forever. He didn’t seem like a stranger to me anymore. It was as if we’ve known each other longer than we really thought, but at the same time this was crazy. All of this was crazy. Yesterday, I didn’t even know the name Zion existed. And yet, here I was, him kissing me and gripping my thigh. (I’ve been listening to Phases on repeat for days now, can you tell?)Promptly, he pulled away with full force. “I can’t, I mean we- we can’t! We shouldn’t” he bursted out. “Edwin is gonna be so disappointed in me when he finds out”. I wanted to silence him and say how that wasn’t true, but next thing I knew, the door flew open revealing – of course because the universe wouldn’t let me kiss a cute boy in peace for once – Edwin. Behind him the other three reluctantly followed like lost puppies. “So, I put two and two together and my senses did not betray me! I had a feeling y’all were up to something nasty in here!”. With a sigh, he was interrupted by Austin. “He’s lying, someone saw how first Zion and later you went in here. And for some odd reason, Eggie is playing protective brother”.

“Okay, so whatchu tryin’ to tell me is that we goin’ home cause Ed had some to drink and you need my car?”.

“… Yep”.

Zion abruptly got to his feet, pulling me up with him in the process. The ride home was actually quite peaceful. Nick and Brandon fell asleep, all cuddled up while Austin tried to stop Edwin from drunk texting some random girl he hadn’t talked to in years. We drove them home, one after another left. When we arrived at the Honoret house, Edwin was quick on his feet. “I need my bed” he mumbled, rushing into the house.

This left me and Zion alone. Shily, I dared to turn my head towards him trying to see the expression his face held. “You know …” he began. His voice sounded a little shaky, yet it didn’t stop him from saying what was circling around in that precious head of his. “I think we can. And I think we should”. The smile on Zion’s face was contagious, I couldn’t contain myself from smiling back. Before walking to my front door, he gave me a long chaste kiss on the lips leaving me dizzy and occupied with my own cloudy thoughts.

“I think so, too” I whispered to no one in particular but myself while drifting off to a much needed peaceful sleep.

NOTE: I legit wrote all of this today in like idk 3 hours?? Whew chile, but it was worth it because I passed some time. Only two more hours left at work and I have nothing to do. Might start writing another imagine to pass some more time.

[spectraspecs-writes]

Dantooine - Chapter 39 (Mission)

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 38. Chapter 40

tw swearing, drug use, drug mention, alcohol

A/N - Yes, I know, it’s been over a month since I posted a chapter. But then it’s been almost that long since I typed anything. Be glad the story is flowing from my head. Means more content just needs to be typed.

@isquirtleinyoureye thank you for reading you get a tag.

——–

No, I’m not pouting in the starboard quarters, I’m just thinking. Hard thinking - usually I can just do soft thinking about things, let it set in my head in the background while there's other stuff going on in the foreground. But when it’s something serious, I need to do hard thinking, devote all my focus to it. 

God, I feel so pissed at Bastila. All that high and mighty Jedi speak, make me feel like I’m the bad guy here for just wanting to take a little while to think about this, the implications of being a Jedi.

I hear a knock on the door. “Rena.” Bastila. “Rena, could you please unlock the door?”

“It’s not locked,” I say.

“I can’t open the door.”

‘Well, that sounds like your problem, not mine.”

“Rena, I told you, the Force…”

“Oh, fuck off, Bastila!” That was probably a bit harsher than it needed to be. Whatever. She leaves. I’m so sick of hearing about the Force and destiny and all that crap from her.

I lose track of time pretty quickly. Nobody else comes by until Mission knocks on the door at least a few hours later. “Hey, Rena, can I come in and grab my Pazaak deck?”

“Sure.” Mission comes right in. See, I told Bastila the door wasn’t locked. “Anything interesting going on out there?”

“Carth and Canderous almost started the second Mandalorian War,” she says like it’s nothing.

“I expected them to argue,” I say, shaking my head, “Who punched first?”

“Nobody did, but it still took Big Z to pull them apart.” I almost wish I hadn’t missed that. “Hey, can I talk to you? You seemed to be pretty bothered, and if you had something on your mind, I didn't want to bother you, but…”

“It’s nothing,” I say, even though it’s really not nothing but I’d rather talk to Mission than think about the Jedi, “What’s up?”

“Nothing, it’s just… I'm sorry for the way I acted before, when you asked about Griff and Lena.” (She says Lena’s name with a sneer.) “It's just that when it comes to Lena I tend to get a little worked up.”

“Why? What’d she do?” Is there drama afoot?

“My brother and me had a good thing going. Sure, Griff had his run-ins with the law on Taris. But we got by okay. Until Lena came and ruined everything. She was a dancer at the cantina where my brother used to go to play Pazaak. Griff could be a real smooth talker, and it wasn't long before the two of them were dating. But Lena was used to dating rich Tarisian nobles – guys with mountains of credits. Griff could never give her the kind of lifestyle she was used to, no matter how hard he worked.”

Gold-digging schutta. “So what happened? Did Lena dump him?”

“I thought Lena would brush Griff off when she saw how poor he was, but for some reason she stuck around. I guess she saw the potential for a big payday down the road. And don’t think for a minute that she actually liked him,” Mission adds quickly, “I saw Lena for what she really was – a busty, credit-grubbing cantina rat! She used Griff and took away the only family I had!”

“The schutta!” I didn’t think I’d be this into this drama, but Mission’s my friend and I love her, and if she’s passionate about it, so am I.

“After they'd been together for a few months, Griff told me he was leaving Taris. He and Lena were going to try and make their fortune off-world. He promised as soon as he made enough credits he'd come back and get me and we'd all live like royalty. That was two years ago – I haven't seen him since! I don't even know where he went!”

“What do you think happened to him?”

“Oh, I know what happened! As soon as she got him off Taris, Lena sunk her claws into Griff but good! She twisted him around her little finger and made him forget all about me!” What a bitch! “I know I'll probably never see Griff again. But part of the reason I came with you was the hope that I could find out what happened to my brother. Don’t worry, I won’t let my search for Griff get in the way of anything.”

“I wish I knew what ‘anything’ was. I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks. God, I love her.

“Not really,” I say, “I want to stop thinking about it, actually.”

We’re both quiet for a moment, until she reaches for me excitedly. “Hey!” she exclaims, “Guess what I found!”

“What?”

“Come on!” She grabs my hand and runs with me to the cargo hold. “So I was digging in the cargo containers, seeing what Davik had stored on this ship, and I came across a locked compartment, it wouldn’t open.”

“Until you opened it.”

“Well, duh!” I love her so much. “Check it out! Davik had some grade-A spice stored on this ship!” I stick my finger in it, and taste a little. Hot damn, that’s good stuff! Not glitterstim, but good stuff!

“So.” The voice makes us both jump and yelp. It’s just Canderous, but I was afraid it was Carth. If Mr. Republic finds this stuff he’ll turn it over to the first Republic official he finds, given that it’s illegal. But it’s just Canderous. “This is where Hudrow stashed the spice he stole. I don’t know why I’m surprised.”

“Wasn’t he being tortured for stealing the spice?” Mission asks. Evidently someone got her up to speed on the events at Davik’s estate.

“Yep,” I say, “And he was stupid enough to hide it on Davik’s own ship, apparently.”

“‘Stupid’ is a good word to describe Hudrow,” Canderous says, “I’d never met him before yesterday, but apparently the only thing he was good at was flying.” He sticks his finger in the spice and does the same thing I did. “That’s high grade stuff,” he says, sounding impressed, “Can I get some?”

“Only if you don’t tell Carth,” I say.

Canderous laughs shortly, as if the very notion is appalling to him. “I wouldn’t tell him if my life depended on it. I’m not about to let that Republic killjoy ruin my day.” He takes a handful and sits down on one of the storage containers.

Mission, uncertain but clearly eager to try something new, takes a much smaller handful and sits cross-legged on the floor, watching Canderous. “Aren’t you going to get some, Rena?” she asks me.

“Nah,” I say, “Spice doesn’t agree with me, I’m allergic to it.”

“Well. there’s some fire wine in the one with the broken seal,” Mission says, pointing at it. Her doing as well, I imagine.

I don’t know, I’ve really got a lot on my mind. “I think I’m good, guys.”

“Rena,” Canderous says, “You fought in a great battle, lived to tell about it. This is a victory that should be celebrated. And I will not let a fellow warrior sit and mope in her room while her comrades in arms celebrate the victory and toast the fallen with spoils from the battle.”

Seems like he cares a lot about this. I don’t think the destruction of Taris should be celebrated, but we did do something that would have been nigh impossible for anyone else. Found Bastila, won a swoop opener as someone who’d never flown a swoop bike before, broke into and robbed the Sith base, outlived Calo Nord and Davik Kang, stole the latter’s ship, fought off and outran Malak’s fleet, and lived to tell about it. I have had a very long week, and damn it I need a drink after all that. And besides, someone needs to make sure Mission and Canderous don’t hurt themselves. So I open the container and pull out the fire wine, and sit down near them. Canderous smiles, mumbles a Mandalorian blessing - it doesn’t translate well - and takes some of the spice. Mission follows his lead with a little less, and I take a swig of the fire wine.

It burns a little going down.

By the time Carth shows up, Mission has passed out. Canderous is still conscious and coherent, even if every other word is in Mandalorian. I’ve been pacing myself better, but fire wine is still quite strong if you’re not used to it. Things are a little… blurry. I wasn’t even aware Carth was here until he said something. “What the hell is this?” is specifically what he said. 

“According to Canderous, we’re toasting the fallen with the spoils,” I say, trying not to let my voice slur. I should swap out my implant, get sober quicker. But I don’t have one with me, so I guess I’ll have to do that later. Or not. 

“Toasting the fallen. Right,” he says, sounding really disappointed, “With spice? You’re doing spice.”

“I’m not doing spice, Canderous and Mission were. This is fire wine.”

“Mission is fourteen!” Evidently mentioning Mission was the wrong thing to do. “You just let her do that?”

“Carth, relax, it’s not like she was doing it alone, Canderous and I were here the whole time.”

“Right, because a Mandalorian being here makes me feel so much better about giving a kid illegal drugs.”

“Look, Republic,” Canderous finally says - his eyes look red but otherwise he’s fine - “She’s a tough kid and she’ll be fine. Once she sleeps it off, she’ll be perfectly fine.”

Carth sighs shortly. I guess he figures there’s nothing he can do about it now, although it’s obvious he plans to get rid of the spice just like we predicted. “Fine,” he says, even though he clearly does not think it’s fine, “Fine. Rena, would you help me get her back to the starboard quarters?”

“I’ll do my damnedest.” Wow, I haven’t stood up in a while. Is the floor paneling uneven? I feel like the ship is moving, even though if it were I would have heard the engine by now. Maybe it’s just me.

Oh. Hello, floor. That fire wine really did hit me harder than I thought. “Whoa!” Carth tries to catch me, but he gets there too late. “Looks like you’re not in a fit state, either. Canderous, will you…?” Canderous has fallen asleep. Carth sighs again, and looks at Canderous before shaking his head. “I’m not moving him,” he says simply. Then he looks at me. “If I help you, can you stand?”

“I would think so,” I say, trying to brace myself against one of the storage containers. I reach out my other arm for Carth and he grabs it, pulling me up, hot damn that is a muscular arm. (It might just be the fire wine, but that Dark Side part of that nightmare is out of my mind, and all I can think about is the passionate make-out session beforehand. I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything, just my brain going, “Hey, you think he’s cute, what if…?”)

He slowly guides me out of the cargo hold and towards the starboard quarters. “I didn’t think I’d ever have to do this, walk you home,” Carth says, and I feel like he’s trying to play but he’s also a little serious, “You didn’t strike me as the kind of person to get fall-down drunk.”

“I’m not, usually,” I say, “I have simply had a long day. Hell, a long week.”

“Does this have anything to do with your meeting with the Council this morning?” he asks, and before I can say anything he keeps going, “You looked pretty upset when you can back. What did they say?”

“They…” I start to say, before stopping. Well, I guess I have to talk about it eventually, don’t I? “They want me to become a Jedi.”

“Wow,” he says simply, and he sets me down on my bed, “That sounds… sudden. Do you not want to be a Jedi?”

“I don’t know! They never even asked,” I say, “And that pisses me off.” 

“I can understand that,” he says. It’s weird, when Bastila said it I didn’t believe her. But with Carth saying it, I do. “You probably feel a little trapped by the whole thing.”

“Oh, God, yes, exactly!” He gets it, yes!

“Well, if you want my opinion,” he says, and he gives me the chance to say no but I do want to hear it, “I think you should?”

“You do?” I say softly, “Why?” He looks a little put on the spot, uncomfortable, so I say, “I’m not looking to argue with you, I just… I want to know what you think.”

“Well, for one thing, you’re a natural peacekeeper. Watching you on Taris, standing up for people, trying to help them, you’re good at it. The way I understand it, that’s what Jedi are supposed to do, help people and keep peace.” This is already better than Bastila’s reasons. “Plus you’re a strong person, and I think you should try to become the best and strongest person you can be. Jedi training will certainly do that more than just being in the fleet will. If you can do it, I say go for it.” 

God, he’s so cute. He’s so sweet. “Thanks, Carth.”

“Yeah, sure,” he says, like it’s nothing. And maybe it is nothing, maybe the fire wine is making me super emotional. “I’m going to grab Mission, you try to sleep.” And he leaves.

Where is that implant, should take away my hangover. When I find it, I plug it into my head. And almost immediately pass out.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: Feel totally free to ignore this, and this isn't an attempt to further any more conversation between us again if you don't want it, but it would feel bizarre to pretend...well, that we hadn't known each other before, or that I'd forgotten you entirely, so Jac: Obviously things weren't great when you left but I'm fully over that as no doubt you are too Jac: As we're classmates again, it makes sense to me that we are civil and prepared to work together if necessary but I'm not going to attempt more than that, nor am I holding some kind of grudge which would prohibit the former, I thought I'd reassure you of that, as well as just say, hello, I suppose 🙂 Savannah: You're right, it would be bizarre as well as counterproductive Savannah: though, we don't actually know each other any more, two formative years having passed, so I don't see why we can't start over Savannah: treating each other like we would our other classmates Jac: That sounds logical to me too Jac: I'd be happy to treat this as an introduction opposed to a reintroduction Savannah: okay Savannah: but before we do, I just want to say I'm really proud of you for getting in Jac: You too Jac: it's amazing, isn't it Jac: better than we had even visualized and worked and prayed for Savannah: I always knew you could do it Jac: I had no doubts about you, either Jac: potential that you'd changed your course and vision but whatever you put your mind and talent to Savannah: I did think you'd go to Bath, or that I would Jac: I could lie here and say something about preferring the history and culture of Edinburgh as a city, and finding St Andrews better in X Y Z but Jac: Bath didn't happen, is the reality of it Jac: but I'm not devastated, as I once would've been to be left with my 2nd choice Savannah: We don't have to lie, it didn't happen for me either, partly because catholic school did of course, but that's not the entirety of it Jac: I try to leave lying, however innocuous and pointless, two years ago, too Jac: Karma or otherwise, just stopped feeling worth it Jac: how was your new School? Savannah: A lot of things stopped feeling worth it to me too Savannah: Oh, Sienna liked it Savannah: I did not Jac: I am sorry to hear that Jac: I can't think of anything I would've liked less than being surrounded by other hormonal, crazy, moody, bitchy teenage girls either Savannah: at least she thrived, you wouldn't even recognise her now Savannah: she's so Savannah: Loud Jac: 😂 Jac: Loud can be good Jac: at least some positives came of it all Savannah: she reminds me of how I remember Jude Savannah: but she's happy, I think Jac: I think you'd still have recognized Jude Jac: likely from a mile off, giving you time to escape Jac: I hope she is Savannah: 😄 Jac: and that you'll be happier here than you were there, too Savannah: unless either of my parents enrol, we can take that as a given Jac: I'll drink to that Jac: complimentary coffee, that is Savannah: for now anyway Jac: Hopefully the plans get a little more exciting Savannah: 🙌 Jac: Have you heard any Psych school nights being organized or do you think one of us should bite that bullet and start the group chat? Savannah: we should do it Savannah: best foot forward, you know? Jac: Absolutely Jac: Why not, eh Jac: You're in halls too, right? Savannah: Yes Savannah: where are you? Jac: John Burnet, how about you? Savannah: You only get a single bed too! Savannah: I'm in University Hall Savannah: it's so pretty Jac: The nuns taught you well then 😛 Jac: I think it's worth it for the architecture, we'll just have to remember not to roll Savannah: 👼🏾🙏🏾 Savannah: It wasn't worth ANOTHER argument with my dad about co-ed Jac: and you get to have the Libraries literally right on your doorstep Jac: I was debating it, but I'm still better in smaller crowds, that sold JB to me ultimately Savannah: if my dad didn't run my life I totally would've applied there too Savannah: I love that it has a garden Jac: I know, right? Jac: Well you can use my little patch of 🌷 🌹 🌺 🌸 🌼 🌻 whenever you like, because I'll certainly be haunting the libraries enough Savannah: You haven't lost any of your sweetness Savannah: & of course you must, I hate studying alone Jac: I'll probably be tragically uncool forever, our classmates may as well find out sooner rather than later 💁 Jac: if the sight of all those books gets too much, there's always the 🏖 for maximum studying, I'm sure Savannah: No way! I had more fun with you than I've had with anyone else EVER Savannah: they'll find all your good points Jac: 😊 Jac: Okay, we did have some fun Savannah: a lot Jac: I can't/shan't disagree with that Savannah: it doesn't feel like two years Savannah: sometimes more like twenty, or like two months Jac: It is really weird, I felt like I haven't said it because it can't be overstated Jac: but good weird Jac: are any of your friends from Sligo here too? Jac: I don't know anyone Savannah: I don't know anyone either Jac: A familiar face is a good thing Jac: as is getting to know each other afresh, they can coexist Savannah: I thought it was for the best that nobody followed me here, until I saw you Jac: Shocking as it was Jac: glad the 😱 isn't permanent Jac: I'd hate to do that to you, honestly Savannah: you don't believe I could pull it off? Jac: Of course you could Jac: but your 😄 is undeniably a better look Savannah: my lips ARE very big, I could end up looking like a blow up doll if I'm forever open mouthed from today onwards Savannah: then I'd never marry a prince Jac: Why we're here, obviously Savannah: Everyone thinks so Savannah: just because my boyfriend dumped me after the leavers cert Jac: Oof Jac: that's rough Jac: though at least he didn't steal your Summer? I guess Savannah: Oh my god! That's exactly what he said Savannah: no wonder he reminded me of you Jac: Oh God 😬 are you suggesting I should be in Sallies with the rest of the fuckboys? 😂 Jac: not the crowd I was hoping to get in with but, you know Savannah: where you are is perfect for you Jac: 🤞 Savannah: it feels right being here Jac: Yeah Jac: it really does Savannah: I was worried I wouldn't feel that when I actually got here but 🙏🏾 Jac: I thought it'd be scarier being away from home Jac: but if anything, it's a relief Savannah: you don't have to share a room with Jude any more, it obviously would be Savannah: how is everyone though? Jac: 🍵🙊 Jac: No, they're good, all doing their own thing Jac: Jesse's got his music, the kids are the same old Jac: oh, Jameson got a girlfriend though, that's cute Savannah: I can't believe one brother is literally famous and the other is adorably loved up Savannah: Sienna hasn't had a boyfriend yet, I think that's my fault Jac: Honestly, they're both unbearable now 😏 Jac: overprotective big sister vibes or off-putting dumping ex? Savannah: Jesse was always an acquired taste, which I never did Savannah: Oh, both, for sure 🤫 Jac: Musically and personality-wise, he'd agree you have a point Jac: long as she's happy, like you said Jac: always found them too distracting myself Savannah: I suppose I just always needed a distraction Jac: Clearly, that's why we aren't having this conversation in Bath Jac: for the best, in the end 🌌🔮 Savannah: I hope so Jac: Honestly, it's a better uni Jac: and I'm not just lying to myself/you to make us feel better 😂 Jac: Delia Rockford, you remember her, right? Jac: She got into Bath, so, you aren't missing out, is what I mean Savannah: I hate her Jac: She's doing International Management and German Jac: the language of the future 🤨 Savannah: She's German descent! That's basically cheating Jac: You'd think she's got a place at Cambridge studying classics the way she's been bragging Jac: they aren't remotely top in languages or whatever the hell International Management is but alright 🙄 Savannah: I'm so glad she blocked me after what happened during the party at Michelle Brennan's house Savannah: which wasn't even my fault Jac: Now that feels like a million years ago Savannah: It was Savannah: I don't think we were even friends yet Jac: We weren't for that long, in the grand scheme of things Jac: that's the weirdest part Jac: we were pretty intense, yeah Savannah: everything was pretty intense Jac: It was Jac: Isabelle is doing coaching at TUD Jac: we were never really the same but she's well in herself Savannah: She'll be incredible at that Savannah: if it had happened to me, there's no way I would've not been retaking the year Jac: I know Savannah: did you hear about my mum? Jac: No, I don't think I did? Savannah: she'll appreciate it not being common knowledge, I guess Jac: Is she okay? Savannah: She's doing better now Savannah: which I suppose means she's at about the same level as she was before I left Savannah: because she really struggled after Jac: It must've been really hard for her Jac: to have you two gone, and realize it probably was for the best Jac: did you see her much, in these two years? Savannah: not as much as I should've Jac: You can't be blamed for that Jac: you had to take care of yourself, and Sienna Savannah: but she needed me to stay Jac: Maybe she needed to sort herself out Jac: and she's getting there Jac: our parents shouldn't be our responsibility Savannah: It has to work out here, you know? Savannah: I can't go back Jac: Of course it will Jac: you're going to be fine, amazing Jac: and then you can do your masters and your Ph.D. and then marry a prince and you'll have several royal residences, neither of which will be in Dubo or Sligo Savannah: I'm just sick of things being painful, difficult is fine, but I want it not to hurt Savannah: which is a HUGE overshare if we met today Jac: it's cool Jac: I hear everyone is best friends for life fresher's week Savannah: that makes me feel a lot better Savannah: especially when I pause to consider how many of them I'm likely to cry on before it's over Jac: It's basically tradition Jac: you won't be the only one Jac: moving forward, it's bound to make you think more about what you're leaving behind, even if temporarily Savannah: I've missed you Savannah: sorry if that's like leaping over a boundary or something Jac: I wouldn't have bet on that being what you said, should I ever see you again Jac: but it's better than what I would've Savannah: It's not like this with anyone else Savannah: I can't change that Jac: I never really Jac: like I went out, people would talk to me, I'm not trying to sell a sob story here Jac: but you're right Jac: it was never the same with anyone else, not remotely Savannah: I've given you mine already, so if you have one, it's okay to tell it or not Savannah: even if I'm so embarrassed I did that Jac: Seriously, no need Jac: you were there to witness my unfinest hour Jac: I treated lots of people like shit Jac: Is, mainly Jac: but you too, in lots of ways Jac: not proud of it, but I changed, still am, hopefully Savannah: I hope you don't change too much though Jac: Yeah? Savannah: I thought you were perfect how you were Jac: And I'm the sweet one Savannah: we both made mistakes, but that's human Jac: It's been a while since anyone's accused me of being human Jac: all those exams Jac: 🤖 felt more fitting Savannah: & you look so 👼🏻 Jac: You look as flawless as you ever did Savannah: My auntie mailed all her good skincare to Sligo Jac: expect no less 🙌 Savannah: the fresher air was 🙌 Savannah: even if the rural accents took me by surprise Jac: 😵 or 🥴 surprise though? Savannah: not like 😊 😋 😍 😘 🥰 Jac: the accent here is pretty 🤭 Jac: though Savannah: which one? 😄 Jac: Valid Jac: very town VS gown Savannah: which one though? Savannah: tell me Jac: The original Savannah: very Romeo & Juliet of you Jac: Oh no Jac: am I that cliche now? Savannah: we'll see Jac: Sounds slightly concerning Jac: but I'll do my best to subvert expectations Savannah: it'll be concerning if you get distracted by some boy's accent after working this hard to get here Savannah: unless he's a prince, obviously Jac: Not changed that much Jac: I'd get disowned if I married royalty, anyway Savannah: 🚫💍👰 Savannah: just adorable heirs to the throne Savannah: 👶👶👶👶👶 Jac: adorable, illegitimate bastards ❤ Savannah: yes Savannah: or is that another cliche? Jac: Probably Jac: although if we are educated, career women now, any babies is beating expectations Savannah: except not really because every career woman is also determined to become a mother & prove she can have it all Jac: 🚫👶 it is then Jac: maybe a dissertation topic, at any rate Savannah: 😢 Jac: 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 Jac: many as you like Savannah: they all need best friends Savannah: you have to stick to the plan Jac: Can I get through freshers first? Savannah: 🤞🏾 Jac: Please, I'm no amateur Savannah: I hope not, I'm single & the point is we do it at the same time Jac: as am I Jac: not feeling any 1st year that hard, thanks 😏 Savannah: you always date older, it's fine Jac: None of our lecturers were the one Jac: another cliche avoided Savannah: I'm not sad about that Jac: There's enough inequality of power about without actively seeking out the dynamic, agreed Savannah: ^^ Jac: the fashion show seems to have got the diversity memo though Jac: could be cool Savannah: it's going to be the highlight, I can feel it Jac: 😄 Jac: I was thinking Tues for our psych night, as nothing much is really going on Jac: what do you think? Savannah: good idea Jac: 👍 Savannah: I'll start the chat if you want Jac: You were always better at talking Savannah: when it's not that important, but when it matters, you always know exactly what to say Savannah: at least to me Jac: You're easy to talk to Jac: in a way I really could never work out Savannah: There's nobody in my life right now who would agreed with that Savannah: so it must be you Jac: my inbox full of unreads would say otherwise but Jac: I'll take it Savannah: okay, it's us together Savannah: does that make you happier? Jac: Better Savannah: your hair got really long Savannah: I'm BEYOND jealous Jac: You've got no reason to be jealous of any other girl in the world Savannah: you're not any other girl in the world Savannah: 🤫🤫 Jac: 😶 Jac: Promise Savannah: it looks beautiful, I can't cope Jac: My 😳 will not Savannah: 💗 Savannah: 🌷 🌺 🌸 Jac: Is that a dress code? Savannah: well NOW it is Jac: 😂 Jac: My wardrobe can accomodate Jac: cheers for the heads up Savannah: you're welcome Savannah: & we're all set until 💬 Jac: I better let you get on then Savannah: was it that good of a conversation starter? Jac: Solid Jac: will scare off anyone 😱 of 💗 🌷 🌺 🌸 Savannah: well I obviously don't need that negativity in my life Savannah: but I didn't mean to end this conversation Jac: We don't have to Jac: What are your plans for the rest of the day, now the obligatory are over? Savannah: don't judge me, because I know I sound like a different person, but I haven't made any Jac: Thank God, me neither Jac: I didn't know how long any of that would take Jac: nor unpacking, which is technically done but that says nothing about the decorating I wanna do Savannah: I could help Jac: Or, slightly more fair, we could check out the town, see what shops are about? Savannah: I'd like that Jac: Cool 🙂 Jac: let's have half an hour to debrief and make sure we don't look 😱 and then head out? Savannah: okay Savannah: you can put your hair up & save my life Jac: oh 🤫 Savannah: I am serious Savannah: 🚗 🚕 🚲 are distraction enough Jac: You could rock a cast Jac: but I won't let it happen Savannah: what would you write on it? Jac: That's a good 🧊breaker Jac: but I'll have to keep that secret for now Savannah: if I ask everyone on Tuesday, will you tell me then? Jac: It's a deal Savannah: it is

[purplesurveys]

631

General Randomness What's the weather like right now? It’s very bright and sunny out, but January is typically one of the colder days of the year so I’m not feeling uncomfortable right now. It’s the perfectly chilly temperature I would have liked to have all year long. What are you currently sitting on? I am sitting on a chair at our dining table, which is usually where I take surveys. How many times have you brushed your teeth today? Just once.

When did you get up? I’ve been up since 8, but didn’t get out of bed until 10.

Have you been in a vehicle for more than 45 minutes today? I haven’t been in a car at all today cos I’ve only stayed home. Angela invited me to go out for some drinks but I didn’t feel like drinking or being out today, so I’ve been home the whole time.

Where is your best friend? I think Angela is at home but I’m sure she’s getting ready to go out for the aforementioned ^ drinking. I’m not sure where Gab is. How many days until Christmas? Oh wow, barely missed it, chief. There are 355ish days left, I’m guessing? Have you kissed someone today? Nope. Is your mom over 50? No, and she still has a year to go. How old were you 7 years ago? I was technically 14, but was about to turn 15 in a few months. Do you know what 'C'est la vie' means? Yep. In Gen Z lingo, it essentially means, ‘it be like that sometimes’ lmao. Do you usually take showers or baths? Showers, because we don’t have bathtubs and also because I find it much more efficient anyway. I only take baths when I’m out of town, in a fancy hotel, and want to pamper myself with bubbles and fancy body wash. What kind of bottoms are you wearing right now? I’m wearing shorts just meant for the home.

Are you wearing anything red? Yes, the pair of shorts I just talked about. What was the name of your first pet? I didn’t keep track of my first goldfish’s name but a good guess would be Goldie. I wasn’t a very creative kid, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that turned out to be right. Do you live in an apartment? Nope. I’ve been living with my parents under their roof. What color is the floor in the room you're in? Cream-ish. What was the most irritating thing to happen to you today? My thesis professor being a headache to talk to. I am genuinely baffled at how she was able to secure a very high position in my university’s administration, considering how erratic she can get. How do you feel about your most recent ex? She’s great. Do you wish at 11:11? No. Do you wish on shooting stars? I would, if they often visited on this side of the world. But they don’t, so. Do you wish on dandelions? No. There aren’t a lot where I live. Are you drinking anything right now? Mmm no, not at the moment. I finished my coffee a little while ago and while I want to make a second cup to keep myself awake, I have an early morning tomorrow so I’d want to sleep early tonight. It’s back to work for me, ugh. About how tall is your father? Not too tall. He’s like, 5′5 or 5′6.  How old is your oldest living grandparent? I only know the age of one grandparent, and that’s my 73 year old maternal grandmother. I don’t get to see my paternal grandparents a lot cos they live quite far, so with that comes my insufficient knowledge about them.  Do you know anyone who has lived to be 100+? Gab’s great-grandmother, but she passed away last November. Have you had your birthday yet this year? Nope. There’s been a mere three days into the year, so very few people would already have had their birthdays hahaha. Do you read your horoscope on a regular basis? No. You do you, but I was never a fan. It’s also a pet peeve when people use their star sign as excuses for their shitty behavior. “Sorry I acted up, I’m a Scorpio,” “I hate everybody because I’m an Aquarius,” “I ghosted them because I’m a Cancer” no it’s because you’re a bitch, Karen. Do you like the color yellow? I hate it a bit less than green (my least favorite color) only because I love the song Yellow by Coldplay and because mustard yellow isn’t that bad of a color. Are you an aunt or uncle? If my friends start having kids soon, then I’ll be an aunt. Why is your best friend your best friend? They both understand my weirdness and all my quirks and never made me feel like I was being judged. What is your hair like at the moment? Tbh it matches my top pretty well so as frizzy as my hair is at the moment, it still looks good with the tank top I have on lolol. How many times have you donated blood this year? Zero. I’m scared of needles, and even if I get over that phobia I wouldn’t be able to donate anyway because I’m underweight. Are you wearing any jewelry? No, not right now. Are you a video-gamer? I wouldn’t call myself that. I play GTA just to be a law-abiding citizen and not actually do the missions lol, I get tired of playing The Sims after ten minutes, and I only play a handful of Nintendo games. Who got married at the last wedding you went to? My mom’s brother and his then-fiancee, now one of my favorite aunts except for the facts that she’s a hardcore Duterte supporter and Marcos apologist. Do you like Chinese food? Yep, it’s one of my favorite cuisines. How far is the nearest Walmart? I can’t walk nor drive to it, that’s for sure. Have you ever been a designated driver? I’m always DD by default because I’m the only one among my friends who has a car other than JM, who also has a (much bigger) car but is terribly low-tolerance and will absolutely pass out. I get tipsy easily as well, but I sober up real quick and always make sure I’m 100% back to reality by the time I drive. Which means that I typically have to stop drinking earlier than the rest of my friends, but so long as that means I get to take everyone back home safe, it’s okay with me. What is something that always brings tears to your eyes? My mom yelling at me. Who is your 20th phone contact? My contacts aren’t numbered thus I’m too lazy to count manually. Do you have any plans to get a tattoo? It’s not completely off the table, but I’ve definitely toned down my original plans of getting tattoo sleeves and getting myself generally covered a la CM Punk (and I have to tell ya, I’m so glad I grew out of that phase). These days I prefer to have small tattoos to memorialize significant people or events, and some of my plans include my dog’s pawprint and a plate of nachos. Or a new piercing? Probably not. What would your name be if your last name was the color of your shirt? Brown. If you could find out how you would die, would you want to know? Yes. I hate the unknown and would rather be certain, no matter how ugly or nasty the certainty holds. Do you make your bed regularly? Every morning. Do you look forward to the weekend? NO. I have a 2-day meeting for my 2-day weekend. I am so dreading it. I just want to stay a lazy couch blob for another week. How much do you know about the mechanics of cars? I know how to turn a car on, go forward, reverse, brake, and open my gas tank... and that’s about it. Has anyone ever told you you should be a model? Model and beauty queen, yeah. How old was your mom when she had you? She was 26, but was turning 27 that year. Do rainy days get you down? No. I thrive on rainy days lmao. Who is the artist/band you're listening to at the moment? No music keeping me company at the moment. Do you ever take aspirin when you 'feel a headache coming on'? Not aspirin but I take a Biogesic. I dunno if those two or the same thing or not. Is there a calendar in the room you're in? Nope. Do you prefer to be in a relationship or be single? I’ve been seeing a person for technically six years, so now I prefer a relationship after being accustomed to having one for so long. If you're single, do you wish you were in a relationship? Have you ever had your heart broken? Sure. Do you live within an hour of the beach? No. I’m very far away from the beach :( How do you like your steak? Rare or medium-rare. Were you born in the 1980s? I was not. A Few Firsts What was the first sound you heard when you woke up? I woke up to the sound of my mom calling me on my phone. I was half-asleep and didn’t feel like answering, so I muted it and went back to sleep. I feel guilty now that I remember, but she didn’t call back or text me so it probably wasn’t a big deal. Who was your first best friend? It was a girl named Kaye from kinder. We were good friends for like two years, and then we got sorted to different sections in Prep and drifted apart after that. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve said her name so many times on these surveys already. Y’all know. Who was your first date to a formal dance? I haaaateeeeed the idea of asking guys out and being in a relationship for most of high school, so I made sure I only asked my cousin for my prom. How bad was your first break up? Pretty messed up. There was a lot of tension and resentment and confusion in the beginning. Throw in my grandfather’s sudden death and me taking the UPCAT, and you have my mental health completely rattled! What was your first favorite movie? High School Musical, for sure. How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16. What was your first trip to the emergency room for? My platelet count was really low, I was in danger of getting dengue, and had to stay the night at the hospital. Then there was sticking the IV onto my wrist, upon which I made a complete scene in the emergency room and thrashed and kicked around while my (very frail) grandma (sorry, Lola) tried to hold me down with a lot of patients watching lol. Where was the first place you went today? The kitchen. Who was the first person you saw? My sister, I think. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? I wondered why my mom called, realized I was too sleepy to care, and went back to bed. Do you remember the first time you spent the night away from home? Yupppp. I was in third grade, my club had an overnight camping thingy as its culmination activity, and it was the first time ever that I was allowed to spend the night somewhere else. I remember being around a campfire, roasting marshmallows for the first time, having to share a sleeping mat with Katreen, and her kicking me in her sleep.

Where was your first big vacation to? Boracay. What was your first job? None yet. I’ll make sure to update you by the end of the year. What was the first thing you had to drink today? Coffee.

Some Lasts Where was the location of your last kiss? My girlfriend’s car, when she dropped me back at my place. How old was the last person you kissed? 21. What was the last movie you rented? I’ve never experienced renting a movie, which definitely confirms my status as a Gen Z kid lmao. But I can tell you that the last movie I watched was Knives Out. Where was the last place you went? Other than around my house, we went to church last Tuesday night for New Year’s Eve mass. What was the last restaurant you went to? Yabu. Who was the last person to call you? My mom, this morning. Who was the last non-relative you spoke in person to? Gabie. What was the last thing you bought? I got dinner from Yabu, haha. When was the last time you drove more than an hour somewhere? December 14th. That evening was INSANE. It was Saturday + Christmas traffic, and it took me two hours to travel from Antipolo to Rita’s place in Makati. JM and I drove separately cos we were a big group - his drive took FOUR hours. Why did you last get angry? My thesis prof was doing us so fucking dirty and I couldn’t do anything about it. What color was the last vehicle you rode in? Blue-green. How long ago was your last birthday? NIne months. When did it last rain? It drizzled a little bit yesterday. What was the age difference between you and your most recent ex? A month and a half. When was the last time you used a dictionary? Maybe an hour ago for a word I used in a past survey lol. Mini iPod Shuffle: Don't Cheat, Use Whatever Song Comes Up, No Matter How Ridiculous (I have several playlists, so I’ll just use the Spotify-curated playlist made for Gab’s account called Your Top Songs 2019 hahahaha) My love song: Love song - Lana Del Rey (Wow.) My fight song: Swim Against the Tide - The Japanese House My break-up song: New Light - John Mayer The song for when I'm sad: Money - Leikeli47 The song for when I'm angry: Constant Conversations - Passion Pit My song to have sex to: Bad Girls - Tennis The song about my ex: Just the Same But Brand New - St. Vincent The song about my best friend: Juice - LIZZO The song about my crush: Seventeen - no rome My 'feel good' song: Venice Bitch - Lana Del Rey The theme song of my life: Formation - Beyoncé I literally know four of these songs, which I’ve since bolded just so y’all know that I have no idea what the other seven songs are and if they make sense with the situations at hand. Gab clearly uses her account more than I do, which should be the case anyway lmfaoooooo.

[thewritenerd]

This Life and the Other: NaNoWriMo Day 6

‘Uh yeah I guess.’ ‘Well then you should tell her. If we survive tonight.’ With that she skipped off leaving me to follow behind. Honestly that girl.

I woke up in the sanctuary feeling sick to my stomach. Maybe we could just do the whole “I don’t feel well” trick? Instead of knocking myself out and risking putting myself into a coma. But the nausea was probably due to anxiety about today. Tonight? Living in two time zones at once can be confusing. I ate my breakfast in silence, not that Ezra or Apolo seemed up to talking much. Ezra especially looked an odd shade of green. When we were finished eating we all stood up and headed towards the greenhouse. The greenhouse is the closest thing we have to an outdoor area. It’s a huge dome with a grass field and an athletics track. We only see it once every six months. As we all stood in a row waiting for either Medved or Ovenchi to arrive I leaned closer to Apolo. 

‘You remember what you need to do?’ I asked. He nodded before turning to Ezra, who at this point was shaking uncontrollably. ‘Hey Ez you okay?’ Apolo asked. ‘Hmm? Oh yeah I’m fine.’ He didn’t sound too convincing. I remembered how on our last fitness test he’d barely scraped by. And I’d noticed he seemed to have started moving slower than before these last few months. Sometimes I’d seen him wince in pain whenever he stood up or sat down. I thought about saying something, but before I could figure out what the doors opened and Mr Medved came marching in. ‘Right you lot shut up and look at me!’ he barked. The few of us who’d been talking quickly shut up. Medved walked along the line, staggering a little as he did so. Was that guy ever not drunk? I thought. He ordered us to find space and start performing “warm up” exercises. I’m not an unfit person, skinny and not interested in sports in any way shape or form sure; but not unfit. Still Medved’s warm ups lasted an hour with no break and felt more like a full routine. We were then told to get into five separate groups alphabetically, so group one was anyone with a surname starting with the letters A to E, group two with the letters F to J and so on until group five, U to Z. My anxiety about the plan only increased when I realised that it meant I wouldn’t be able to communicate with Apolo, as his last name was Wasape. My group were sent to the running track first with instructions to just keep running around the track until time was up. While I ran I kept looking at the clock that hung above the entrance watching as 11 am, the time we’d decided to set the plan in motion, ticked closer. When I did look away I noticed Mr Medved was leaning right into Ezra’s face. Slowing a bit as I passed I tried to listen to what he was saying. ‘Well Mr Hart what do you call that?’ Medved asked with a sneer on his face. ‘What do you mean sir?’ ‘You know perfectly well what I mean. Personally, I’d call that pathetic. I mean how hard is it too lift some little weights?’ He leaned closer dropping his voice so I could no longer hear him. Before I could really think about what I was doing I reached into Ezra’s mind just in time to hear Medved whisper, ‘I don’t think we should waste our resources on someone like you.’ With that he leaned back and started looking around. ‘Mr Kelbeck!’ he snapped. I jumped pulling myself out of Ezra’s mind. ‘Did I tell you to stop running!?’ ‘Uh no. Sorry sir!’ I called back before returning to my running. I hadn’t meant to stop moving, I hadn’t even realised I had.

When it was finally eleven I was standing by the weights waiting to be told what to do. Apolo, thank goodness, was standing where we were doing co-ordination tests which involved throwing and catching balls. Exactly where I needed him to be. When Mr Medved came over to give us our instructions I glanced over at Apolo and gave him a small nod, which he returned. Looking away I tried to make it look like I was listening to what Mr Medved was saying. But the whole time I was thinking, don’t duck don’t duck don’t…

I woke up with such a start I nearly fell off the sofa. ‘Glad you could join us,’ Aiden said when he saw I was awake. ‘Uh yeah.’ I sat up. I was tempted to reach up and touch my head. But I knew there would be nothing there. I looked around to see that everyone else was standing around waiting to go. ‘Here.’ Ezra said handing me a pink and white walkie talkie. ‘My favourite colour,’ I said sarcastically as it took it from him and slipped it into my pocket. Aiden shook his head before turning back to the others. ‘Right does everyone remember the plan?’ he asked. Everyone nodded serious expressions on all their faces, even Ronnie. ‘Good,’ he turned to Cam and me. ‘You two will be going ahead. And quickly if you miss the last trucks then we’ll miss our only chance. We both nodded and headed off. The idea was Cam would sneak under the truck while I stayed on the other side of the road and kept an eye on things through Cam’s eyes. They had been reluctant to agree to let me do that, but eventually with enough pleading from Lalita they agreed. Once across the road we slipped back behind the low wall and lay in wait. After only a few minutes we saw a row of three black trucks driving down the road. ‘Get ready,’ I whispered. ‘And remember wait until they’ve checked round the back of the last truck.’ ‘I know,’ Cam hissed gritting their teeth. ‘Hey I’m just making sure you remember. We are asking you to take a big risk here. Okay they’re on the last truck.’ Cam didn’t move from where they were crouched, wanting to stay hidden for as long as possible. The second the guard began to walk away from the back of the truck I reached into Cam’s mind. Cam started running full sprint across the road. It felt so odd watching the world through their eyes. The guard seemed to have slowed to a stop, as if they were frozen in place. I watched as Cam dove under the truck and grabbed on to the underside. After what seemed like ages, seriously did everything move this slowly for Cam? No wonder they’re so impatient all the time. The truck began to move through the gate. Once it was inside the garage I heard the sound of a door open and close and footsteps walking around. ‘Come on you lot. The sooner we can get this equipment back to the storeroom the sooner I can get home.’ Said a female voice. ‘Sounds good to me.’ A male voice replied. There were more noises until eventually it went quiet. Then everything went dark. Shit, Cam thought. The place had no windows making it pitch black with the lights out. I heard more movement, this time it was Cam crawling back out from under the truck, for a moment it was quiet before Cam switched on their torch. They blinked in the sudden light before looking around. They headed towards the garage door and started scanning the wall. On the left side was a keypad with a red light glowing. I saw Cam’s hand move out of the corner of their eye before hearing a quiet beep. ‘Saren.’ Hearing Cam’s voice through both their ears and mine startled me out of their head. ‘Saren are you there?’ I pulled my walkie talkie out of my pocket. ‘Yeah I’m here.’ ‘Are you seeing this?’ ‘The keypad? Yeah I did. Unfortunately in order to answer you I couldn’t keep using my telepathy. And because I can’t see you I can’t use it again.’ There was a pause before I heard the walkie talkie beep again. ‘Sorry.’ I sighed. ‘It’s fine you didn’t know. Just try and look for a password okay?’ ‘Okay.’

The others arrived not long after all the the guards but one had finally left. ‘Hey Saren, how are things looking?’ Aiden asked me. ‘Not sure, I lost visuals when they tried to talk to me through the walkie talkies.’ Aiden nodded but looked worried. ‘Can you try and contact them again?’ he asked pointing to the walkie talkie. I nodded back and pressed the talk button. ‘Cam?’ There was a pause then, ‘I’m here. And I’ve found the pass code for the door.’ ‘Good. Listen The others are here now. I’m going to pass you over to Aiden.’ ‘Alright.’ I passed Aiden the walkie talkie. ‘Okay Cam we just need to get past the guard and then we’ll be with you. Stay by the door, but do not try to open it until I say so.’ ‘Got it.’ Aiden turned to Iesha and Lalita. ‘Are you two ready?’ he asked. ‘Kinda.’ Iesha replied. ‘Not really,’ Lalita sighed. ‘But I don’t think I’ll ever be. So let’s get this over with.’ ‘Good lad.’ Aiden said. The two of them stood up and started to head across the road. We watched as the approached the security guard and started talking to him. The idea was they’d pose as two innocent little kids, which technically they were, and lure the guard out of the booth by asking him for help. So far the plan seemed to be working as we watched him leave the booth and walk closer to the two of them. When he bent down speak to Iesha she breathed a cloud of pale green gas into his face. Startled the man fell backwards, he tried to stand up but Iesha and Lalita pinned him down. Their individual weights didn’t add up to much, but the two of them together combined with the effects of Iesha’s gas was enough to keep him on the ground. It was hard to see what was happening but I knew Lalita was forcing the mans eyes open so he could alter his memories, making him forget he ever saw anyone. When he was done they both stood up and gave us the thumbs up. ‘Okay come on quickly.’ Aiden said before leading Ronnie and myself across the road. Once we were all there Iesha slipped into the booth and pressed some buttons to unlock the smaller walk through gate. Quickly we slipped through and snuck across the car park. Once we were outside the garages Aiden lifted his walkie talkie up to his mouth. ‘Okay Cam open the door.’ For a moment nothing happened, then I saw a crack appear in the bottom of the garage door at the other end. We headed over there and one by one slipped under and switched our torches on. ‘Hey Cam could you lift it a little further?’ Ronnie asked from the other side of the door. Cam reached down and began to pull the door up a little further. Eventually Ronnie was able to squeeze herself under so we were all standing in the garage. Aiden gestured for us to follow him and lead us towards the door into the building. He reached to turn the handle but it wouldn’t budge. ‘Ronnie? Would you do the honours’ he said taking a step back. ‘Yes sir.’ She gave him a mock salute and walked over.  

[misssophiachase]

Set It Up – A kinda but not really Klaroline Fusion (like all my different fusions)

Caroline Forbes and Klaus Mikaeslon are working as assistants to the most demanding, rival NBA bosses in New York. From Macy’s to Madison Square Garden to the MGM Grand in Las Vegas can they stop bickering long enough to come together to make their lives easier?

All I do is Win

151 W 34th Street, New York, NY 

"Before you say anything,” he offered, holding his hand up to silence her. “He actually tried to fire a mailman today.” 

He being Mason Lockwood, the Brooklyn Nets owner. He was also notorious for being an arrogant, demanding bastard and then some. 

“And?”

“Mailmen work for the U.S. government!"

“Oh boo hoo, I don’t care, Mikaelson,” she replied gruffly, equally not caring but also knowing it was true and his boss was an ass. 

“Says the girl whose boss could give Cruella De Ville a run for her money.” He wasn’t wrong. New York Knicks boss Katherine Pierce was fierce, feisty and a real bitch at the best and worst of times.

“Exactly why I’m here to claim my blender that you have your grubby paws all over. I called earlier and put it on hold,” Caroline demanded, exhausted from the trek to Macy’s Department Store noticing he was already clutching it possessively.   

She took a few seconds to admire that his thieving ass was sort of attractive in that fitted, grey suit even if he didn’t know his proper place.

Five days ago she didn’t even know him but Klaus Mikaelson had made both an immediate and lasting impression on her, and it wasn’t a good one. She had always welcomed competition but his good looks were kind of messing with her resolve. 

Bastard.

She had no intention of letting him win.

Ever.

“But your name isn’t on it,” he shot back, refusing to relinquish her property. 

“Now, that’s extremely mature,” she scowled. “If I don’t get this exact gift for the Warner wedding my boss is going to kill me.” 

Yes, to some it was just your run-of-the-mill gadget that mixed ingredients together. But this wasn’t just any blender. This was the newest, state of the art Vitamix Blender that retailed at a jaw dropping $1198.

It also happened to be the last one left in Manhattan, Caroline knew given just how many stores she’d called in vain. She just hoped the Warners were grateful, if she managed to steal it from his greedy clutches of course.

“My boss will too given it’s a gift for his only sister’s birthday,” he shot back. “If you think I’m going to give up this blender without a fight you’re sorely mistaken.” 

Okay, maybe she had forgotten in her haste to put it on hold, oops, but Klaus didn’t have to know that.

“Only because you got caught out breaking the rules because I already put this on hold,” she bluffed, refusing to let him win.

“Okay fine, what do you want?” 

“I thought I made myself pretty clear, Mikaelson,” she growled, gesturing towards the blender.  

“What else do you want besides this blender?” 

They both held each other’s gaze for a full thirty seconds before each finally responded their resolve unflinching. 

“Disney on Ice tickets. I hear that the Under the Sea Christmas Spectacular is a huge hit in your borough.”  Brooklyn was most definitely a bad word she could never utter.  

“Seriously? That’s really what you want?”

“Deathly,” she hit back, rolling her eyes as she did it. “Surely you would have some contacts, you know if you’re actually a good assistant.” 

“Because I’m sure Katherine Pierce would love to watch a singing crab and one memory-less fish,” he scoffed. 

“She may be the Ice Queen but she also has thirteen impossible and incessant nieces and nephews. And last time I checked all fish were memory-less.”

“Well, then you’ve never met my Marvin.” Caroline was trying to ignore just how adorable he looked defending his goldfish one dimple at a time.  “Even so those tickets will cost me more than this blender.”

“Okay, so how about I sweeten the deal with some boxing tickets?”

“Not sure the local boxing round robin is his speed, love, so that’s a definite no.”

“Well, I suppose it’s your loss,” she drawled. “Hand over my blender then, Mikaelson.”

“You’re going to have to make me,” he replied jokingly. 

“Real mature,” Caroline reiterated, surprising him and plucking it from his grasp. She couldn’t miss the way his hand felt brushing against hers as she did. “I hope I never have to see your smug ass again.” She stalked away, hips swaying in her wake.

“Until I have to explain the missing blender,” he called out in frustration by way of response. 

“Because I’m sure a missing blender is going to be your biggest problem given you turned down Pacquiao vs Broner ringside seats in Vegas.”  

She made a mental note in her head. Caroline Forbes 1 - Klaus Mikaelson 0. Suddenly her hellish life as an assistant wasn't so bad if he was suffering too.

4 Pennsylvania Plaza, New York, NY 

Klaus Mikaelson was the type to hold grudges. It started when he was six years-old and his younger brother Kol stole his favourite toy and it had only grown stronger and more spiteful in the years afterward. 

Caroline Forbes was going to pay. Mainly because his boss hadn’t let him forget how pathetic he was to lose the blender he wanted to ‘a girl’ as he emphasised in air quotes. Klaus was far from chauvinistic and his boss was obviously still living in the dark ages. 

Caroline wasn’t just ‘a girl’ she was a pain in his ass and Klaus planned to bring her down and it didn’t hurt that it was her home game either. 

Rivals the Knicks and Nets were squaring off at Madison Square Garden and he’d been plotting his revenge ever since their last meeting. Sure, she was kind of gorgeous with those blonde waves and crystal, blue eyes but she was also his devious competition. And she was unrelenting. He had to beat her at her own game and he’d found the perfect way to do it.

“Glutton for punishment hey?” 

“Excuse me?” He shot back from their neighbouring, courtside seats. The pre-game arrangements were well underway. “Last time I checked the Nets and their staff have every right to be here, even if it is on enemy territory.”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she growled. “But it’s nice to know you are going down tonight.”

“Have you seen the ladder, Forbes?”

“You are one game ahead, after tonight that won’t be the case,” she scoffed. Klaus took a moment to peruse her outfit before arguing back. Even in her hideous blue and orange jersey she couldn’t help but look stunning. He decided to put it down to the fact her floral perfume was infiltrating his nostrils and messing with his composure. 

“Wanna make a bet?”

“I’m pretty good at those but if you’re game.”

“Oh I’m game,” he smirked. “The Nets win you get me those ringside seats in Vegas. And by seats, I’m going to need eight.”

“Wow, someone is wishful thinking, but yeah sure, not that you’re going to win,” she scoffed. “I cannot wait to witness the annihilation, Mikaelson.” 

Klaus didn’t even respond, just sent her a teasing glance and made his way to the changerooms to finalise everything. He had a good feeling that his team were going to take the win and Klaus would be on the way to Vegas for the big fight at the MGM Grand. His boss would forget that bloody blender ever existed. 

“In your face, Forbes,” Klaus celebrated hours later as the Nets crowd at Madison Square Garden continued to chant well after the final buzzer. She was shocked to say the least, still cute in defeat but he’d never admit it aloud.  

“This is all your fault,” she snarled. “You cheated.”

“Last time I checked I wasn’t on the court.”

“Yeah probably a good thing, you’d never actually keep up, lazy bones,” she snorted. “How about that whole surprise pre-game show where number one Nets fans Beyonce and Jay-Z just decided to belt out the Star Spangled Banner from their seats?”

“I had nothing to do with that,” he lied.

“You are the worst liar,” she huffed. “You know just how well it would be received and in turn boost team morale.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he bluffed. “The best team on the day won.”

“You are unbelievable,” she scowled. “Must really be desperate given just how much your job depends on it.”

“Is that what you say to make your situation better?” He shot back. “Didn’t think you’d stoop that low, oh hang on that whole blender situation was exactly that.”

“I guess I’m desperate,” she murmured, Klaus couldn’t miss the way her expression seemed so defeated all of a sudden. “My college loans are looming and I may have been a little dishonest under pressure because my boss wants to fire me all the time.”

“Story of my life too believe it or not,” he offered. “If only they could get on with their lives and not focus on every little thing that we do.”

“Hang on,” she murmured. “That might not be the worst idea you ever had, Mikaelson. How about we set them up together?”

“Mason and Katherine? That’s just a recipe for disaster. That much combined combustible energy cannot be safe.”

“Exactly why we have to do it,” she murmured, raising her eyebrows.

“So, I suppose I’ll see you in Vegas then?”

“If you’re lucky,” she chuckled, but given her tone Klaus knew she’d be there no matter what.  

MGM Grand, 3799 S Las Vegas Blvd Las Vegas, NV

“Okay, I sent the fruit basket to her room.”

“Aren’t you a romantic,” she drawled teasingly, barely looking up from her magazine on the bed as he entered. Klaus Mikaelson was the last person she expected to organise that. As much as she was attracted to him, Caroline was seeing no similar interests besides setting up their bosses. 

“Please don’t ever call me that. But, last time I checked you’d done absolutely nothing,” Klaus shot back. “And I won the last bet and everything. Time to show you care, Forbes.”

“Like sending an identical one hour massage voucher to both his and her rooms for the same time in the hotel spa?”

“I suppose that’s okay,” he mumbled.

“Why do I get the impression that you don’t like ideas coming from anyone but yourself?”

“Well...”

“It must be all that ego,” she groaned. 

“You really do hate me,” he asked incredulously, it was unusual for any female to think badly of him let alone abuse him incessantly. 

“For the most part.”

“Wow, aren’t you sweet,” he drawled. “So what are we supposed to do to pass the time?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Caroline shot back. “How about something more intellectual?”

“Wow. Finally something we have in common,” he smirked triumphantly, as she produced a chess board. 

“I happened to be chess champion five years running in High School.”

“Well, don’t want all those potential but ignorant suitors knowing that fact,” he chuckled, sending a stray dimple her way. Caroline tried to pretend that it didn’t affect her but everything inside was telling her that it did. 

And she was scared of the foreign feelings it had caused.

But in true Caroline fashion she decided to push it aside so she could beat him at chess then deal with the consequences that were threatening to derail her feelings later. She didn’t get that chance though. In fact she was in a more vulnerable position than expected. 

“Check Mate,” he murmured, sweeping his queen across the board to take her king. 

She was stunned at first mainly because she never lost. Ever. But he seemed to know her and rather than unsettling her it was weirdly okay.

Bastard.

“We have a boxing match to get to,” she responded mechanically. His hand grabbed hers immediately, the warmth spreading through her body. “Need to keep an eye on our bosses after all.”

“Or we could do something else?” He offered, squeezing her hand affectionately. “My siblings are in town tonight but I’m going to warn you they are...”

“Nick’s Fans?” She asked. “I’ve certainly experienced them and worse.”

“You have no idea, in fact I think they’d be perfect company for Katherine and Mason.”

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t care if you lose your job right now?”

“Well, if you knew my brother Kol and his big mouth,” he teased. “But if you’d rather...”

“No, I’m starting to really like your brother Kol.”

“Well. then you’re really going to like my sister Rebekah,” he chuckled. “How about we explore Vegas some more? See what fun we can get up to?”

“I suppose it can’t hurt, right?” Caroline replied.

Famous last words.

[marwritesgood]

Petals | Z. Dempsey

Pairing ; Zach x Reader

Timeframe ; Pre-Season One

Summary ; In which Zach hears the tape dedicated to his girlfriend, and a hidden truth is revealed at the same rate leaves and petals fall during the autumn season.

Part One (The Tape)

A/N: Day 8 of 31 Days of Christmas

Warning : The following piece contains mentions of suicide, an abortion and being a person who implicated said suicide.

Also, because I wanted this piece to be mostly consisting of dialogue, you will notice that I have changed the format of this piece. Feel free to notify me if this format is hard to understand, and I will gladly edit it to make it easier to read.

Also, Sheri, my darling, you are not a very nice person in this one.

I slowly pulled my thick headphones away from my head, and, with wet tears streaming down my face, I looked up to Tony who sat opposite at the table we were at in Monet’s, but he seemed to  be unfazed by my reaction to my tape, most probably because he had expected me to be the way I was.

I wondered if he did this for everyone. If he bought coffee and sat with everyone before me when it came to the time for them to listen to their tape. I didn’t know that Hannah had dealt with all of that, much less, because of my doing. Hell, I didn’t even know that my friends had told everyone what was meant to be a secret.

“Did I really do that?... Did I really make Hannah kill herself?”

“I think you already know the answer to that, Y/n.”

“And... and everyone who had a tape before me, they all know what I did to her? They already know that I was the one who was pregnant?”

“Yeah, Y/n. All of them do?”

“... Zach has a tape doesn’t he?”

“If you listen to the next side, you’ll have your answer.”

“He’ll be the next one to find out, won’t he?”

“If you decide to pass on the tapes to him, he will, yeah.”

“What if I can’t do it, Tony? What if I can’t bring myself to give him the tapes?”

“You’ll be doing Hannah a disservice. Look, I don’t think you’re a bad person. I don’t think half the people who have a tape are bad. However, just because you might, deep down, be good people, doesn’t change the fact that you all played a part in her suicide. And you can’t change that. What you can do however, is rant Hannah her dying wish: for each and everyone of you to listen to these tapes.”

“What do you think he’ll do when he finds out?”

“If he had even half a brain, or half a heart, then he’ll do the one thing these tapes have gotten you all to do: listen.”

Once I finished listening to all the tapes, I did what I was meant to do. I put them all back into the shoe box the came in, in the same exact order, and I sent them to Zach’s home. Then I waited. I waited for him to listen to the first one, then the second before he finally reached mine, however, whilst I was waiting, I decided to confront some of my old friends. The ones I had once trusted, the same way Hannah used to trust me.

There were three of them that day, but I had a feeling I knew which of them told the rest of the student body. Sheri Holland.

“I need to talk to you”

“Y/n, hey. is everything okay?”

“I don’t think you’ll want anyone to hear this, so can we go outside for a second?”

“Yeah, of course... Okay, now can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Why the hell did you tell everyone?”

“I don’t know-”

“I told you that Hannah was pregnant, but that I went with her to Planned Parenthood so that she could have an abortion. I only told you, Jess and Stephanie. Which means that one of you told everyone at this goddamn school, and my money is on you, Sheri.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Why does it... She killed herself, Sheri. Hannah Baker killed herself.”

“And? How is that my problem? How does any of this link together?”

“I was the one who had an abortion, Sheri. I was the one who was pregnant, so when you called her fat whore and a baby killer, how do you think that made her feel when she wasn’t even the one who was pregnant? And, I get it, alright. You’re not the only one at fault here. I shouldn’t have dragged Hannah under the bus just to save my ass, and I’m a bitch for doing that, but fuck you, Sheri. I trusted you. I told you not to tell anyone and you were the only one who didn’t listen.”

“How did you even find out? Why didn’t you just tell me it was you from the start? You say you trust me, but you couldn’t even trust me enough with this?”

“Would you have kept your mouth shut? Or would you have called me a fat whore and a baby killer, the way you did to Hannah? Because as far as I’m concerned, the only difference between her and I is that she was a good friend, which is far more than I can say about you.”

I knew that Sheri would keep her mouth shut about my abortion. Not because she was once my best friend or anything, but because I had listened to her tape, and I had made it clear to her that I knew about the role she played in Jeff��s death. I was never going to make it public, but if leading her on to think that I would was what I needed to buy myself some time, then so be it.

I waited about a week for Zach to finally reach my tape. When I knew that he began listening to them, I kept my distance from him, by occupying myself with cheerleading and studying. I knew that once he reached my tape, and once he was ready he would confront me about it. I don’t think I could have ever been ready.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m guessing you finally got up to my tape.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I know that we’re a lot better now than we used to be... that I’m a lot better than I used to be, and maybe I wouldn’t have been all butterflies and rainbows, but don’t you think I deserved to know?”

“I was scared. Like Hannah said, everyone thinks I’m better, for some stupid reason. I was scared of what everyone else would think... I was scared of what you would think.”

“How could you ever think that I would look at you differently just because you had an abortion? Y/n, you are my fucking world... how many times do I need to tell you that for you to finally get that I love you so fucking much.”

“I’m sorry.... I’m sorry, you’re right. I should’ve just told you the truth instead of lying and saying that it was Hannah. I just... panicked. I dodn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know who to talk to so abortion was all I could think of.”

“Baby, I’m not pissed that you chose to have an abortion. I’m pissed that you had to go through all of this without me, because I didn’t make it clear to you that I am always gonna be yours, no matter what happens. You could be a fucking serial killer, and I would still be yours.”

“Of course you would make jokes at a time like this.”

“I’m not joking.”

I couldn’t help but smile. That was the effect he had on me. Even in the midst of all of this chaos and melodrama, he still managed too make me forget about it all for just a second and to smile. His smirk grew wider when he noticed me smiling, despite the tears streaming down my face. 

He held out one hand and placed it on the side of my face, allowing of his thumb to rub the apples of my cheeks so the he could wipe my tears away. I responded to this, by wrapping my arms around his neck, before tilting my head upwards so that I could kiss him.

I fucking loved that stupid basketball player.

[askguyslikeus]

((thank you to guest writer @hurricanesunny !!!))

Michael backspaces on the seventh text he’s typed out since getting here twenty minutes ago. That, of course, doesn’t include the panicked phone call in the parking lot that he ended on the second ring or the three blurry Snaps of the sidewalk that he deleted, but who’s really counting?

See, Michael doesn’t want to text Jeremy. That’s important to understand here. He had already made a pretty big deal out of being cool with the whole thing  when they had both received their orientation packets a while back. So Jeremy and Jake ended up having theirs together last week. Michael, on the the other hand, got stuck in the M-Z group by himself. No biggie. This is life just helping a bro out. He can totally handle it.

Give it up for Michael’s big, fat mouth. It’s okay, though! It totally is, because Michael has a plan. He’s already circled the classes he wants. The paperwork in his lap is a little wrinkled from him gripping it too tightly, but it’s completely filled out. The inevitable pow-wow with his guidance counselor is gonna be smooth sailing. Michael’s also memorized the campus map so he doesn’t have to ask anyone for directions if he gets lost on the tour, but he also downloaded the PDF on his phone and stuck an extra copy from the help desk in his back pocket just in case. During the drive up here, he only listened to the slowest of jams. A mix, specifically, that Jeremy had awkwardly handed him last night in hopes that it would maybe make up for his absence. When Michael got here, he immediately took the corner seat, back row. Hood up, headphones on, music off. Classic stoner diversion. All day he’ll just tail behind, make no eye contact, and get into the classes he’s been banking on since his early acceptance.

But then Michael looks up from the day’s itinerary to see that his plan’s about to be dragged out back, shot twice, then set on fire just for good measure.

“Dude, this freakin’ blows.”

Someone, a girl Michael’s never seen before, flops down next to him. She drops her knapsack, worn and littered with keychains, on the floor and gives it one swift kick under her chair. Her eyes briefly leave Michael’s to look up and blow a strand of hair out of her face. He continues to stare as she starts rummaging through her sweater pockets. With an entire conference room of empty seats to choose from, this girl decides to go ahead and take the one right next to him.

Life’s definitely not on his side today.

Michael flinches as a plastic baggy is shoved in his face. He blinks, trying to focus on it. The girl shakes the bag a little, causing the colorful contents inside to dance.

“Gummy bear?”

As if to demonstrate, she rips one in half between her teeth. Her eye contact doesn’t waver, which makes Michael vaguely feel like he’s the gummy bear in this particular situation. He swallows hard, reluctantly pushing his headphones down around his neck. Not like he was listening to anything anyway. The girl tilts her head. C’mon, Mell. Use your big boy words.

“My, uh, mom told me not to take candy from strangers,” he eventually chokes out. Smooth. The girl snorts. Whatever panic Michael just puked up on the floor must’ve been buried beneath what sounds like a pretty chill comeback. Still, he wouldn’t be surprised if she decided to cut her losses now and move on. It’s what people do, and it’s only going to get uglier from here. But right on societal cue, the girl shoots her other hand out to remedy the situation.

“PJ. You?”

Michael considers himself a pretty observant guy, at least when he’s able to hit the brakes on his runaway thoughts long enough to put the talent to good use. So whenever he starts to get a little too freaked by situations like this, he tries to identify things about the other person that remind him of his friends. It helps thinking of them anyway, like he’s not actually braving the social storm alone, but it also reminds him that not every interaction is necessarily unknown territory.

Take this girl, for example.

As Michael glances from her hand to her face, she wiggles her fingers and snorts again. It’s loud. Unapologetic. Her scrunched up nose, freckles and all, screams Christine. And Christine isn’t scary, right?

Right.

“Michael,” he answers slowly, wiping his palm on the front of his jeans before giving her hand one short shake. Her hand is small in his, but her grip is deadly. He’s almost afraid she won’t let go. “What's it stand for?”

“Whuzzat?” She’s already shoving another handful of gummy bears into her mouth, seemingly forgetting her earlier offer. It’s cool, though. Michael doesn’t think he could keep anything down right now.

“PJ. Like… are those your initials or something? First and last?” Michael makes a face. “Shit, no, you would’ve been in the other group then.“ His high school teachers were totally right. His 3.96 GPA is doing him wonders in the real world. “So… it’s your first two?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” PJ hums. She lifts the bag over her head and tilts it to catch the last few bears in her mouth. “Maybe I did miss last week. Maybe it’s my middle initial. Mayhaps,” she wiggles her eyebrows, “I don’t have a last name at all.”

“So you’re named PJ. Just… PJ.”

“Alright, alright.” PJ waves her hand dismissively as she crumples the bag up and shoves it in her pocket. “If you ever get pissed at me, feel free to go full parental and use my full name.”

“Okay? What is it?” PJ can barely keep a straight face.

“Pajamas.”

As Michael holds back a groan, PJ’s got a shit-eating grin that’s missing a gap in the teeth and a few more expletives coming out of it. Rich would totally get a kick out of this girl. Michael almost works himself up to testing her banter game, because this girl is definitely fucking with him at this point, but the opportunity quickly passes and he clams right back up.

“Oh!” PJ gasps, perking up. She leans in super close. “I like your patches.” She starts to trace the careful stitching around each one. First the flag of the Philippines, then all the way down his shoulder to the trans pride flag. “Did you sew them on yourself?” After no response, she looks up and frowns.

Green eyes study his face for a moment, analyzing. Michael’s warm under the collar and he can feel himself freezing up, but he remembers to think. He’s seen the same colors in Chloe’s eyes a hundred times, watching him amongst the chatter before sending a quick ‘You okay?’ text from under the lunch table. This girl must make the same sort of conclusion, because she silently scoots herself out of Michael’s personal bubble and God he can breathe again.

“Yeah, yeah, um.” Words, Michael. “I learned when I was a kid. Mom.” Michael points to the heart on his chest. “This is the first one I did. The stitching’s a little wonky so you can probably tell.” He points to the one near his right pocket. “This was a gift from a teacher in middle school. Got Philippines and Ecuador a little bit after.” Michael finally points to the last two. “Got these back when I, uh, came out.”

PJ lights up.

“Holy fuck, you should totally join Trans Alliance with me.” Michael almost laughs. He doesn’t do clubs. He would say that he only really does Jeremy nowadays, but fuck if that isn’t true either. Oh, God, did he really just think that? He did, he really did.

“Clubs aren’t… really my thing.”

“Oh, c’mon,” she whines. “I don’t want to go by myself and you seem like a pretty chill dude.”

“Being chill isn’t really my thing either,” Michael mumbles, all cryptic and shit. PJ raises one eyebrow and Michael prays to every deity under the sun that he doesn’t have to explain that today. PJ opens her mouth, presumably to push him further, but Michael beats her to the chase.

“Did you know that baby koalas can’t eat eucalyptus leaves yet?” he blurts out. “So, um,” because the stupid words have already come out of your mouth, great job Mell, “they eat a special kind of their mother’s poop called ‘pap’ so they can learn to digest them.”

Jesus fuck, out of all the useless junk in his head he went with that?

“Shit, dude, really?” PJ asks, unfazed. She then laughs to herself. “Heh. Shit.”

“Uh, yeah, I, uh, watch a lot of documentaries in my free time. I like learning weird shit like that,

,” Michael offers weakly, scratching the back of his neck. A terrible segue, but a successful one. He’s a little afraid to look up, because he’s seen enough faces turn sour when he reveals just how completely uncool he is (and it’s fine, because Michael likes himself enough to make up for it but boy does it still sting a little every time,) but when he finally meets PJ’s eyes they’re burning bright like a wildfire.

“That’s so cool. What else are you into?”

“Oh, y’know… stuff.”

“Liiike?” She gently punches his arm. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t wanna know.”

“Well, I’m kinda into music, I guess.” He glances down at the papers in his lap. “I was thinking of Theory and Comp as my major, but I dunno. It might be dumb.”

“Oh shit, Liberal arts re-pruh-seeent,” PJ grins, pointing two thumbs to her chest. “Gotchu a Fine Arts girl right here.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “A pretty Fine Girl too, if I do say so myself.” Michael can’t help but chuckle. He feels the tension in his shoulders start to melt away as he pushes up his sleeves. An unsteady hand works its way through his hair.

“I’ve read about the program here, God, probably a dozen times now online and it sounds rad as hell. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble declaring, but I’m trying not to worry about it. It’d be nice to finally get some formal guidance. I’ve been coasting on YouTube videos and underfunded music classes for years.” PJ nods along, encouraging him to continue, but her eyes flick down to the inside of his left arm and she freezes in place. A finger jabs Michael’s tattoo. PJ looks at him.

“Video games.”

“Video games,” Michael repeats. “...Do you play?” PJ stares at him a moment before slowly pulling away. Her fingers curl into her sweater sleeves. Michael feels a familiar twinge in his chest as he sees PJ almost shrink into herself, looking anywhere but at him.

“I guess you could call me a fake gamer girl.”

“Fake?” There’s a bad taste in Michael’s mouth as he says it.

“I, uh, own the viddy games. I love the viddy games. I am… not good at the viddy games.” PJ laughs nervously. Jake’s always been great at laughing at himself too, but anyone who listens closely can tell that he’s had more practice learning to laugh at things that have hurt him. Michael hears that same pain in PJ’s voice. “Plus I’ve only really played, like, Minecraft and Mario Party, so… I wouldn’t call myself a real fan or anything.”

“Are you kidding? Mario Party’s the shit. And I spent most of sixth grade locked in my basement trying to recreate Middle Earth in Minecraft. Only a damn fool and a liar would shake their head at anyone who digs that game.”

“Really?”

“Fuck yeah. I consider myself an expert at most things. You name it, I’ve played it. Atari 2600, N64, Dreamcast, the busted claw machine in the arcade back home,” Michael says, counting on his fingers. “So if I say that you’re a certified fan of video games, you gotta take my word for it.”

“Wow, ya nerd,” PJ mumbles, but her smile is back. “You better go easy on me.”

Michael laughs. “Not a chance.”

“So that means you’ll play with me sometime?” PJ suddenly asks. Her tone is innocent, but it reminds Michael of Brooke’s sugar sweet smiles and clever words that always rope you in.

“Uh--” Michael is interrupted by a few notes of Space Invaders playing from his pocket. He gestures apologetically as he fishes his phone out and checks his notifications.

From that gross heere kid 💕: Hey, I just wanted to check that you got to campus alright. It blows that we didn’t get to go together.

Michael quickly turns his phone on silent as another message pops up. From that gross heere kid 💕: We’re still hanging tonight, though, right? There’s gonna be Doritos galore and a packed bowl for ya when you finally get your ass back in town. From that gross heere kid 💕: When exactly is that going to be again? From that gross heere kid 💕: Anyway! Have fun, talk to strangers, make me proud. See you soon, buddy. “Who’s that?” Michael nearly jumps out of his skin. PJ’s leaning over in her chair, trying to take a peek at the screen again. “I saw heart emojis.” “It’s my friend. Uh, Jeremy.” Michael holds the phone to his chest, much to her dismay. “Jeremy,” PJ repeats, trying the name out on her tongue. There’s something about the way she says it that makes Michael wonder if he’s that obvious. “Yeah. He’s asking me how things are going.”

“And how are they going?”

“Good. I think.”

“You gonna tell him that?”

“Maybe. Once I know for sure. I usually put things off when it comes to him.” “Oo, there’s a story there. I’m intrigued.” “Easy there, Jen,” Michael quickly says, gently pushing her back. PJ falls back into her chair, squinting as he shoves his phone back into his pocket.

“Wha? Who’s Jen?”

“Huh? Oh, fuck, I mea--” Michael’s cut off by the orientation coordinator at the front of the room. Clipboard in hand, she calls for everyone to group into pairs for the campus tour. Michael blinks. How long had they been talking? When he had arrived, he had definitely been the only one in the room. Now, at least a few dozen other freshmen are pushing past each other, loud and way too excited for a Monday morning. One by one, potential partners are picked off.

Understanding the urgency of the situation, Michael then turns to PJ, because this is the longest conversation he’s had with someone outside of the squad that wasn’t the 7/11 attendant back home. And him and Darlene are acquaintances at best.

“Uh, duh.” PJ rolls her eyes. She hops out of her seat, scooping up her knapsack by the Beanie Baby keychain and flinging it over her back. “So, who’s Jen? Is she pretty, too?”

“Just one of my other friends.” Michael stands up, carefully sliding his papers into his own backpack before slinging it over one shoulder. “You kinda remind me of all of them. My friends, I mean.”

“Oh. Well you can tell me all about ‘em at Trans Alliance, right?” She looks over her shoulder to make sure Michael is still following her. He is. “Maybe I can give you the scoop on some original Peej content too.”

Michael bites his bottom lip, thinks about it, then decides that maybe he should just roll with things every once in a while. See what happens. “Yeah, uh, yeah. I can. That’d be cool.”

“Great.” PJ grins. She falls a step behind. “Now, let’s go check out the cafeteria food. You think anything’s growing in there?”

“Oh, definitely. I’ve seen enough D-List movies in my time to know there’s a horror movie in there just waiting for us to star in.”

PJ suddenly pushes Michael forward. Such strength for a tiny girl. “Well, c’mon, then! It’s your time to shine!”

Michael laughs, digging his heels into the floor. PJ huffs behind him.

Okay, maybe life’s got his back after all.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 040

Last time, Bulma got captured by aliens.  The good news is that it’s not that kind of anime, but the bad news is that it’s still anime, so she spends the whole episode stealth cosplaying Ellen Ripley in Alien.

Also, the aliens holding guns on the gang are all frightened children, so that makes things a little awkward.

They narrowly escaped a bunch of space invaders, and they think Krllin, Gohan, and Bulma are part of that group.   This assumption gets dumber the more we find out about the bad guys.   For openers, I’m pretty sure alien marauders wouldn’t wear a knit shirt that looks like it came out of my little brother’s closet back when he was five.   Bulma’s not dressed at all, which seems pretty un-menacing, and Gohan’s even younger than all of these refugees.

Krillin tells Gohan to power up, since it looks like they’ll have to fight their way out of this, but then a little girl runs up and kicks him in the shin.  Who’s the real alien monster here, I ask you?   Not Krillin, that’s for sure.

The boys in charge decide they have to kill their prisoners, since they must be working for some guy named “Frieza.”    Typical filler episode, introducing characters and concepts that’ll never get mentioned again.

Despite all the guns, the kids are reluctant to actually kill anyone, and then an alarm goes off.   Turns out the ship flew into a field of meteors.    Okay, I don’t want to sound like a killjoy, but stuff like this bugs me in outer space stories.   Space is huge, and so are asteroid fields, meteor showers, whatever.   Typically, every fictional spaceship has a seemingly all-seeing sensor array, which can detect anything that happens outside and throw an alarm.   But the damn thing never actually alarms until they’re already in danger.  If you think about the guy designing the ship, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense to alert the crew before they got close enough to hit something?    Because, again, space is huge.   However they ran into this obstacle, they’ve been heading towards it for a long time.

On the other hand, the bridge is being staffed by more frightened children, so that probably explains a lot about their crappy protocols.   Someone probably put the red alert klaxon in silent mode because it interrupted their screening of “Frozen”.    Kids, am I right?    Well, this isn’t one of your video games.   This is real life, and you only get one life in this “stage”.   So I suggest you unlock a new achievement by putting away your smartphones and doing some hard work for a change.

Sorry, I was trying to mock grumpy old people on Facebook, but I ended up disgusting myself.   What frightens me is that there’s probably people younger than I am who will eventually talk like that.    Hell, some of them probably already do.  Some idiot at my job put a printout on the bulletin board that had some quote about working hard, and it was attributed to Thomas Jefferson, and it took all my willpower not to write on it “Jefferson owned slaves.     He literally forced other people to do his work for him.”   But chances are he never even said the quote.  

Anyway, these kids are clearly out of their depth, is my point.

Back on Earth, Goku’s in the hospital, and he’s freaking out because the doctor’s going to stick him with a needle.  The doctor gives him that horseshit about how Goku’s being a baby because he hasn’t even stuck him yet.  Yeah, he knows that, stupid.   He’s upset because you’re going to stick him with a needle, because he doesn’t like needles.   If you had already done it, he wouldn’t care, because it would be over. 

I mean, seriously, fuck this guy.  Goku got crushed half-to-death by a giant ape.   The pain isn’t the issue here.   He doesn’t like the idea of having a thin piece of metal jabbed into his veins.   It’s the idea of it, that’s the problem.    Honestly, for me, the worst part about giving blood is when they prep my arm, and then later when I can feel the tube laying on my arm, and it’s warm.   Would it kill them to put a towel or something under it so it wouldn’t feel as weird?    Has that been an option all along and I just didn’t know to ask?    Maybe I could move it over myself, but no way in hell do I want to look in the general direction of that arm while the business is happening.  Would I pass out at the sight of the tube?   Maybe not, but I refuse to find out the hard way.   I’ll ask God when I die.    Is that weird?    A lot of things in life just don’t have answers available, and I console myself by thinking I can just do a Q&A with God in the afterlife.   The Almighty might refuse to tell me, but at least then I’d know that it’s just impossible for me to find out, and that’s sort of comforting in a way. 

Chi-Chi shames Goku in public, but that’s totally different.   The doctor’s supposed to show some compassion and make Goku feel better.   Chi-Chi, on the other hand, is clearly doing some sort of kink thing that only she and Goku know about.    Look at that face.    That is a thirsty man, right there.

Back in space, Bulma wants to bug out while they still can, but Krillin and Gohan want to help the kids.  

Of course, there’s not a whole lot martial artists can do in a situation like this, but the boys can lift stuff, so they do.

Bulma then gets frustrated with the ship’s pilot and takes over for him.  

Kid, if looks could kill...

She mostly works out the controls on her own, and snaps at a kid whenever she gets stuck.

For some reason the helm control looks like a keyboard, which seems a bit complicated.   It looks more like Bulma is coding a program instead of directly controlling the ship.    Anyway, her fingers are just flying on that keyboard.   Definitely a rare hero moment for Bulma 

Meanwhile, Gohan shoots something with a Masenko.   Not sure how that’s a good idea on a spaceship, but good hustle, Gohan.

Then, after Bulma flies them to safety, the kids still draw their guns on her, and accuse her of working for Frieza.   Look, the thing is, Frieza doesn’t even have any women on his team.     Unless this is some fandom AU where he’s surrounded by OC consorts, in which case I guess a blue-haired lady in her undies would fit right in.  “Yes, you certainly did an.... adequate job piloting this vessel, my dear.    However, I have other duties for you now... of the bedroom variety.”   “As you command, my lord.”   You still don’t need to hold a gun on her, though.

Can I just say that Bulma looks ri-friggin’-diculous in this episode?    Who was this for, exactly?   I mean, she looks normal for the style of this show, but that doesn’t lend itself to fanservice at all.   Like, her left arm looks okay, and the rest of her is all boxy and weird.  It’s like a self-hating hentai dude commissioned this.    He wanted to see Bulma in her underwear, but he didn’t want to enjoy it.   Oh, and I just noticed her weird baby hand.  Yeesh.

One of the kids is convinced that Krillin and Gohan are bad guys because they have super powers, but the ones who saw them help out know better.    I guess Bulma looks a little closer to the “sexy cartoon woman” style here, but I don’t think the fanservice crowd would settle for a shot like this.  

So now that everyone’s friends, the kids explain how their planet was invaded by guys working for some dork named “Frieza”, and their leader was apparently Cui, who we’ll meet a few episodes later.    Krillin finds the story similar to how the Saiyans operated, but the kids say their attackers didn’t have tails.    To be fair, Vegeta has no tail either, at the moment, but whatever.

The adults on the planet were slaughtered to clear the land for Frieza’s use, but they managed to evacuate the children onto spaceships.

But Frieza’s men chased them all down, except for this one, which was chrome-plated.    Apparently this was all they had to do for camouflage?   Seems a little fishy to me.

I don’t understand why the parents sent their kids off in spaceshps without sending at least some adults along to take care of them.   They just tossed them on a ship full of guns and booby traps and no one knows how to fly it, and that was their plan?    Maybe there was an adult pilot, and he got killed at some point.   The Earthlings ask them where they’re headed, and they explain that there’s another planet where they think they’ll be taken in.    You’d think Bulma would offer to double-check their heading, or at least teach them how to fly their own ship so they don’t run into any more trouble, but nah.

When he finds out they’re going to Namek, the refugee leader gives them coordinates for a shortcut, and Bulma rushes off to make use of it.   You know these are just children, right?   Their own shortcut took them through an asteroid field, so maybe you shouldn’t be following their advice too closely.

Then we cut to Planet Frieza No. 79.    Is this the same planet the kids came from?   It’d tie things together nicely, I suppose.  

Frieza’s men detect Vegeta’s ship coming in for a landing, so they send out guys to meet him.   One of them is a dog, and the other looks suspiciously like Sam Guthrie from the New Mutants.

But he doesn’t get out of the pod, and this raises some questions.   First, where’s Nappa?   Second, who wrecked Vegeta’s shit?

So they slap him in a regeneration tank.   It’ll heal him faster than the treatment Goku is currently getting, but let’s remember that it took Vegeta 18 days to get here, so he’s probably in even worse shape than he was in when he left Earth. Also, the healing tank isn’t exactly a quick process.

Get used to this shot, is what I’m saying.

In space, Bulma takes the ship on the shortcut to Namek, and this leads them into the opening of a Looney Toons short.  I hope it’s not a Foghorn Leghorn one.   Those aren’t as good.

There’s some space turbulence, and Bulma ends up landing in Krillin’s lap, so she slaps him for copping a feel.   Why is she still undressed?   

Doesn’t matter, because they’ve finally reached Namek!   And it looks... a little paler than usual...

Bulma finally puts some clothes on and it looks like we can finally get this thing started.

But in her haste to check out the planet, she never notices the ship’s computer, which has a flashing red warning.    Aw, probably the check-engine light.    She can take it to an Auto Zone on the way back.