#I did not think it would be official enough to be credited on the album cover

[sunshineandlyrics]

The album cover for Andrew Cushin's debut 'Waiting for the rain' (29 September 2023)

[joyswonderland1108]

Koomibruary?

Well hello there Loves 💜 i seem to be officially back (i guess?) well i’m no longer really busy so i guess i have more time for my blog now. Though the first long post i shared was just me ranting but hey, sue me. 

Anygays, i don’t think i have much to say as i’ve been expressing my excitement through dms with my friends so like, i poured the whole energy in there but i thought i would still have my fair share of talk about the koominology that happened the past few days. I mean..

Army : Hel- Jungkook : I need Jimin here right NEOW!! Right this instant! Jimin-ssi come over!  

I mean damn boy okay chill no one is going to kidnap your Jimin-ssi (can’t promise tho wassup) I mean would you look at his face lighting up when he spotted Jimin in the comments

(Credits to Dalto on Twitter for the picture) 

Please that was so fucking adorable felt like opening a Christmas gift. Besides all that i was really happy to see my two babies after a while, hearing from them, seeing them interact with us (Though i won’t say it enough but we really don’t deserve them they’re way too nice considering the shit Army pull towards them) but nonetheless i was happy to see them

Just look at them LOOK!

Now going back to JK’s live precisely the “Chicken live” i know most people were excited about him asking Jimin to come over like second nature (and i was too) but i want to point out at something else, precisely this: 

Now, i don’t even think you need to be Korean or understand Korean to get the point. The way he dropped them honorifics and the tone he used to tell Jimin to take care of himself or well to be healthy, I- FSDHJSDHFDHG!!!!!! My brain stopped braining and i was outside that day i couldn’t even properly scream to the world that THIS was such a boyfriend behavior like.. JEON JUNGKOOK!!!! 

Again, talking about each other on their lives, complimenting each other’s songs, etc.. Okay i see you. With that i wanna talk about some points, well as best as i can i’m really bad at organizing those so if i forgot to mention anything feel free to remind me.

Jimin is busy, JK is not :

From the past contents and their lives we basically understand that Jimin have been really busy preparing to drop his Album now confirmed to be in March rather than February (Someone is getting in trouble for that previous article tho) and well just because we’re assuming that he’s already done with the tracks it doesn’t mean he’s done with everything so understandable, that boy is very busy lately, so far he has been working in silence for a long time but it’s starting to come to the surface now. 

For JK, he already told us back in his Qatar live that he didn’t have any upcoming schedules, he was enjoying his free time, doing his meat tours, maybe spending time with his family, and doing other things 👀. Anygays, he yet again confirmed during his last lives that for now he wasn’t working on his album, that he mostly stays at home, doing nothing, yada yada. 

Why did i even mention the obvious? Well we both know how some people want to discredit their bond so badly that they come up with any kind of excuse for how Jimin and JK are “distant”. Sorry to break it to you Suzan but their schedules are very obviously different and even married people have that issue when the schedules don’t match. 🙄

Jikook won’t be doing lives from home

I guess we’ve all established by now that JK would be doing his lives from Brunnen and Jimin would be doing his lives from the studio. Even before you click on the live notification you already know what to expect, though JK gave us a new background during his last live but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. 

Again for the fools out there who think that JK lives in Brunnen.. I feel bad for you, with that logic Jimin lives in the studio as well. These two are very private and it’s smart of them to be it really, considering how people seem to be unhappy about every other detail about them, i feel like it’s only logic to not want to show not one bit of their actual living spaces. 

Back to back lives

When i asked the Universe for a Jikook live i should’ve been more specific as in, a Jikook live, with both of them physically in the same place, in the same frame Universe-nim!  제발 😭

I’m not complaining tho that is the closest thing to a Jikook live (or selca) we’re getting like.. 

🤷‍♀️

Although it had me wondering do they just play eenie meenie miney mo to decide who goes first or? 

JK’s entourage seem to know Jimin on a different level

Does that even make sense saying it like that? But to explain it better, i’m taking the example of JK’s coach Tommy, when he talked about Hobi yes he of course knows Hobi who doesn’t but he also talked about him as in someone he knows as JK’s best friend and band mate that he saw before maybe once or twice or on rare occasions anyways.

Whereas with Jimin, it’s like coach Tommy is used to seeing Jimin, used to have him there, not just once or twice but on multiple occasions and well considering how Tommy is JK’s coach (unless i’m missing a detail here), it means that Jimin accompanied him many many times before to the point where Jimin is basically friendly with him too. 

Jimin’s reaction or behavior towards JK’s boldness 

Here i meant the difference between last year and this year. Remember how back in beginning of 2022, JK was starting to be a bit bolder about Jimin just really putting it out there that he will keep on holding onto Jimin, that Jimin is his, that he did go see Jimin in his room and hugged, giving him the finger hearts on stage, etc.. And Jimin seemed to be setting some limits to how much was okay to show (I’m not even sure how to put it but i hope my point was clear)

But this year, i mean listen i feel like Jimin just threw the limits out of the window cause while last year he was okay with the forehead “kiss” moment he also shook his head no after JK gave him the heart finger like.. Jimin-ssi, i’m pretty sure JK taking a chunk out of your peach and your foreheads kissing is way bolder than that small gesture but i guess the quota for boldness was over for that day lol 

As i said this year Jimin seems to just go for it, commenting under his baby’s live that he’s cute, that he wants to tie his hair back neatly (don’t get me started on the cute fanarts OMG), calling him baby again, that he wants JK to grow and protect him, etc.. I mean damn i expected everything but this honestly like yes nothing new, just Jikook Jikooking but i didn’t expect it to be so explosive (Not complaining give me more)

Which had me thinking, were they maybe testing the waters back from September? All the cute lil comments Jimin posted about JK and that whole “Army are waiting for an answer 🙄” during the Busan live, i’m just speculating of course but who knows.

I’m just glad that whatever is going on now, means that they don’t give a fuck anymore about what people think and as long as they’re not doing anything that would be scandalous to some people’s eyes, they should be allowed to interact freely without having haters weight on them with their hateful comments and their twisted narratives. 

And as always, haters will hate no matter what

Whether these two interact or not really haters will always find a thing to complain about and find a way to twist shit to fit their own narrative. I mean from my yesterday post you could already tell, a whole ass mistranslation because they can’t accept facts, and are we even surprised that the people defending the “translator” are part of the cult? No not really. 

People will always try to discredit their bond no matter what so they might as well just not give a fuck about them and do what they see as fit for now, i mean if they’re going to stop doing this and that to please a bunch of hateful rats.. I’d rather they virtually flip the bird on us all and do their thing!

I guess that was all i had to say? I don’t know i literally wrote the points i could think about on a bloc note not even sure if i got everything, lemme know if i skipped anything. Take care 💜

[ofgreyskies]

hey, y'all. i'm beth (she/her, 25, est/edt) but i might be changing my alias because i lowkey just don't vibe with beth anymore lmao so stay tuned! and i am ten thousand and a half years late as usual! this is ash kwon or grey. you can call him either. friends tend to call him ash but he came up with grey and thinks it's sexy or something so idk 🙄

take a peak below the cut for (a lot, sorry) more info on this guy and give this a like or send me a message if you would like to plot with him ♥

past

okay so he was born in san francisco and considers it his hometown but did a fair bit of traveling with his mom for her job growing up. full list of places pending but probably includes like tokyo, london, seoul, queenstown nz, among others. he flitted between fancy private schools in san francisco and some other places and homeschooling during a few brief periods depending on where he was (and you can tell!). was super into music and dance as a kid.

he moved to los angeles shortly before high school and attended a performing arts high school (you can tell!)

he always knew he wanted to pursue music, but he really went all-in during high school. he uploaded covers and original songs on youtube and soundcloud, spent his fridays at open mics, etc. in his senior year of high school, he connected with a songwriting/music production group based and he signed with them shortly after turning eighteen. he worked with their la headquarters initially.

anyway, he worked as a songwriter and producer throughout 2015 and 2016, with credits on several major korean and u.s. artists (including eternal's "chained up" and "hot enough")

he also debuted as a solo artist with "put my hands on you", which was technically his american debut. it went pretty under the radar, as did his second us single "love".

near the back half of 2015, he started spending more time in seoul as he worked on song for a korean debut. his first ep and korean debut was released in 2016. it was more popular than his american debut, if still not... you know, a top selling album of the year or anything. enough people listened to land him a couple of brand deals at least!

he ended up moving to seoul around the time the ep came out. his move to seoul was supposed to be short-term at first, but he's still here seven years later so...

he released an additional single album as a solo artist before parting ways amicably with the company in 2017

exact timelines can be discussed with the other deep blue members but i imagine ash started working with deep blue around february (?) that year, only a couple of months before he left his company

anyway he fell in love with deep blue and was all-in when the opportunity for them to sign to culture creative arose. (in my headcanon, although again this can be discussed with other deep blue members) despite being the last member to join, culture creative nudged him toward an official leader role because he had a couple of years under his belt working in the industry in a professional capacity already

he participates a fair amount in songwriting and producing for the band (and very heavily in his solo music). he also continues to write for other artists, including angelic, true north, mirrorworld, and future/femme

2019 was a big year for him! he went on superband, where the cover he participated in of ilysb went viral. it earned him quite a few fans but also began a narrative that he wasn't fully invested in deep blue because people were like, dude, you already have a band why are you competing to be in another one?

he wasn't in the winning team / band so it didn't matter anyway lmao

he released some music on soundcloud during deep blue's early years, but his first official solo single since being a part of deep blue came out in 2021, "instagram". this is his most known song as a solo artist and even helped get him a mama award for composer of the year.

present

these days, he's still the main vocalist / guitarist / leader of deep blue. loves deep blue to death no matter what anyone says

(some people question his loyalty since he debuted as a solo artist first and eventually did get back into releasing solo music — he refutes any such accusations by saying some music works better with the band and some music works better solo — and also because of his stint on superband)

things have been a little slower for deep blue release-wise the past couple of years so he has been working more as a soloist again, particularly venturing back into the us market with all-english tracks. he'd love for deep blue to drop another project again soon though!

he also does some mv directing. has been into filmmaking and photography for years, but first participated in mv direction for his first ep. his first directing work outside of his own music was in 2020 on true north's can you see me

ummm technically he lives in seoul and in los angeles because he got a place in los angeles while working on miito, but for roleplay purposes, he'll mostly be in seoul

while his fame and fandom stats are above average, his reputation is below average. dude is honestly just a little too defiant and messy. he's got a messy personal life, he gets bitchy with fans that cross his boundaries, he's gotten on stage drunk a few times, may or may not have almost gotten caught smoking weed... it's not great optics and culture creative doesn't do all that much to rein it in as long as he doesn't do anything actually career-ending

personality

a little emo boy. too emotional for his own good.

also too reckless for his own good and convinces himself it's just independence and it's a good thing!

one of his toxic traits is claiming to hate fame but craving the validation of an audience to kind of absurd levels

can be very flighty and hard to reach, but is incredibly loyal to those he values most

falls in love every two business days, writes a few songs about them, breaks his own heart, writes more songs about that

says he hates conflict but will start an argument just to feel something sometimes

lives in his head and not in a fun lil manic pixie dream boy way but a slightly self-obsessed anxiety spiral kinda way

you thinks he's so cool and different and then the law pulls up and he won't get in the car and you're like oh god damn not another rockstar 🙄

plot ideas

roommate / former roommate ? he's the kind of guy who needs his alone time and would rather live on his own, but he might have had roommates in his early days in seoul (2015-2016ish) or even now because one or both of them is in between places. could've been roommates with a deep blue member at any point in his timeline too tbh

musical collaborators. fellow songwriters and/or producers he works with sometimes. singers whose voices he'll use on demos when his won't really work (so mostly female vocalists or guys with really unique voices).

muses he's worked on music for or featured on their music or directed an mv of (or will in the future)! directing an mv is the most limited here just because he has a specific style but i'd love to try to work something out for anyone

it'd also be cool for him to branch more into photography and maybe shoot a photoshoot for someone? again, he has a certain style, but i'd love to try to work something out

here's a list of ways muses can be involved in his career items if anyone is interested !!!

people whose work he's a fan of! this is easiest with singers who do r&b or more indie rock type stuff or directors tbh, but actors who have been in kind of grungy / existential / artsy stuff are also an option lmao

alternatively people who are fans of his work ? could also be a never meet your heros, met him and it soured their opinion of him type thing

older people who sort of mentor and guide him because they see he sort of needs it lmaaoo. if they're too obvious with their guiding it would lowkey annoy him tho

younger people he's a bit of an older brother figure toward! people he sees as having similarities to him or who he feels need a shoulder to lean on (even if he's not the most reliable in that department)

people he hates. maybe he thinks they're too much of a goody two shoes / too fake or they disliked him first or they had a bad encounter where their personalities clashed

people he knows from his earliest days in seoul (2015) when he was just songwriting and hadn't become a celebrity of his own yet. maybe they were already famous, maybe not, but either 1) they're still friends to this day which feels like something of a miracle or 2) they had a falling out at some point

people he knows from his childhood or adolescence? people from san francisco / the bay area or los angeles are easiest for this, but he did spend short times in other places with his mom like tokyo, london, new zealand, so they could have met there as well

exes / former flings. he loves love but is honestly just a lot to handle after the honeymoon phase so he's had a lot of failed relationships / flings. they can be friends now or still hold resentment or still have feelings for each other. endless possibilities tbh [can be any gender]

hear me out... a deep blue member he hooked up with because he's messy

a really serious ex. they were very committed. might have lived together or even been engaged but the end of the relationship was super hard on ash [can be any gender]

current flings / fwb. similar to above. again endless possibilities that probably depend on the muse [can be any gender]

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 27/01/2024 (Noah Kahan/Sam Fender, Benson Boone, Becky Hill/Sonny Fodera)

I think it’s this week that I’ve realised Noah Kahan might be a bonafide star. We’ll get more to it later, but “Stick Season” spends a fourth week at #1 - welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, which I define as songs exiting the UK Top 75 (read the FAQ) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, and this week wasn’t too busy but it did come with some fair losses. Therefore, we bid adieu to “When We Were Young (The Logical Song)” by David Guetta and Kim Petras, “Stop Giving Me Advice” by Lyrical Lemonade, Jack Harlow and Dave (might be back next week given the album), “Won’t Forget You” by Jax Jones, D.O.D and Ina Wroldsen, assisted by a (bizarrely, credited) “donk” edit featuring The Blackout Crew, “One of Your Girls” by Troye Sivan, “Me & U” by Tems and FINALLY, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift. It feels like it’s been there forever.

When it comes to our returns, we see the oddity of Sam Fender returning to #35 assumingly because of a boost to “Seventeen Going Under” that resulted from… well, you’ll see, but otherwise, we only have a handful of notable gains that, during a pretty dreadful-looking week, show some promise, and no, I don’t mean “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi somehow still here at #59, more so “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” by YG Marley at #51, “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #47, kind of grew on me, and “Nothing Matters” by The Last Dinner Party at #41… and less so “Toxic” by Songer at #32, please, let’s not do this, and on that same pleading note, “Alibi” by Ella Henderson featuring Rudimental at #26… why?! I suppose on a good note, Flo Milli is up to #17 with “Never Lose Me” and I can’t really complain about Natasha Bedingfield’s second wind at #13 with “Unwritten”, but it is majorly a mixed bag over here.

Our biggest story, however, rests in our top five, as “Homesick” by Noah Kahan debuts at #5, thanks to a version with Sam Fender who, surprisingly enough, is actually credited by the Official Charts Company, probably because, well, it would have no reason to as high as this without him. More on that later, but for now, it’s pretty standard elsewhere - Jack Harlow’s “Lovin’ on Me” at #4, “yes, and?” by Ariana Grande at #3, “Murder on the Dancefloor” by Sophie Ellis-Bextor at #2 and of course, Mr. Kahan still sitting at the very top. Now we have a… considerably unpromising set of new songs to discuss, so I guess we’ve just got to trek through that, and our starting point is…

New Entries

#75 - “Coal” - Dylan Gossett

Produced by Dylan Gossett

There aren’t that many new arrivals this week but the songs apart from one all fall into being either by singer-songwriter types or working as faceless EDM, and if you’ve been following this blog at all, you’d know those two styles really aren’t my thing, but hey, an independent folk singer racking up a streaming giant with a song from last year, notching him licensing with Republic, it could be promising in the same way I like Zach Bryan or even Oliver Anthony, who I assume we will never see again but appears as a recommended song in Mr. Gossett’s Spotify search terms. One has to wonder why and how but first of all, the elephant in the room: Diamonds aren’t made from coal.

I found several articles, both from sustainable energy advocacy outlets like TreeHugger and the people selling diamonds like With Clarity, clarifying that diamonds cannot really be made from coal. Coal is an impure carbon whilst diamonds are purer and whilst pressure is involved in the process, it is not a simple “one equals the other” sum, since coal has too much organic matter to be made into crystalline diamonds, especially since you can see vividly in the colour of rarer diamonds to what other chemicals may be found in them. Now I’m tempted to believe these articles as they’re backed by science, but if I’m wrong and these articles are just using words I don’t understand to spread a mythical debunking of an already existing myth that diamonds originate from coal, which is actually true all this time, then I’ll stand corrected. For now, the main conceit of this song, asking why under all this pressure, how the Hell he’s still “coal”, doesn’t really make much sense, and the rest of the song reads like listing off proverbs and sayings that fit the part but he doesn’t fully understand them or tie them together. Singer-songwriters are supposed to weave stories, when this feels like playing word association with common and universal wisdoms. For all of Oliver Anthony’s imperfect wording, at least you can tie them together to refer to a specific viewpoint, seeing where those views align, without becoming vague “woe is me” platitudes that don’t hold much reason for said pity, or really any narrative detail. You might see this as nitpicking but when it’s just a guy with a guitar, he opens himself up for interpretation and autopsy, possibilities he seems to willingly flail away by displaying disappointingly little to even work with, and as the song fills itself up with non-verses, as tightly as this kind of song can be produced without a particularly impressive vocal performance, one starts to wonder what the appeal in this even is. It’s a non-song, let’s move on.

#71 - “Incredible Sauce” - Giggs featuring Dave

Produced by Payday and David Morse

The #1 album this week was Green Day’s best album in decades. I have a full first-impressions review of Saviors on my RateYourMusic listening log (exclusivelytopostown) and whilst I understand that sales factor in here, I’d have loved for the only song here that bucks the categorical trends I laid out earlier to be a cut from that record. Instead, we have a Giggs song from last year that I’m honestly surprised has yet to chart already, given the Dave feature and that it was released in August of last year. Apart from the… choice of a name, I still don’t really know what level of quality to expect from Giggs, outside of a comical menace that emerges largely from his attempt to be “laidback” that can more accurately be described as an active  coveting of his natural voice to sound much more relaxed than he really is, considering he’s never sounded comfortable with a flow he picks out, which becomes especially clear with Dave on the hook as he actually pulls off sounding effortless. Giggs’ delivery honestly reminds me of Dean Blunt’s satirical British rap project Babyfather more than anything, especially with the half-asleep cadences leaving so much dead air in this eerie, stagnant trap beat. The song doesn’t end with a piece of classic Dave wordplay, though he’s not on his A-game here comparing himself to Sonic the Hedgehog, it just ends with “Lingerie on a special occasion”… okay. That’s barely even a flex, why does it punctuate the track’s final moments? This is just another ugly showing of substanceless pretence from Dave over a pretty minimal beat with an absolutely worthless performance from Giggs, whose verses feel double the length and really halt any possible fun that could be had from Dave’s bite-size verse. Somehow, this ends up much like “Coal” - there’s just nothing here.

#39 - “Whatever” - Kygo and Ava Max

Produced by, well, Kygo

Speaking of nothingness, welcome back, Kygo and Ava Max… Jesus Christ. Okay, well, if anything is the saving grace this week outside of #5, it will be this.

I have just checked the sample credits, I have bad news. To delay the suffering, I will say that I kind of like the production here, the acoustics remind me of Avicii’s pretty seamless blend of folk pop with the anthemic festival house that defined much of his catalogue. Kygo has always been a detailed producer who pays much attention to ensuring his songs are as easy as possible on the ears, and he succeeds in the sense of this being a very pretty little tune with depths of cute synth pads, guitar rolicks and plucky percussion. Ava Max herself actually impresses me a tad here vocally, mostly because since this is a Kygo song, she can belt without clipping unnecessarily in the mix for once. However, and this is a big however, the main hook of the song, its crux, if you will, is a direct interpolation and rewording of the iconic melody to Shakira’s “Whenever, Wherever”, a 2001 single that debuted and peaked at #2 for two weeks in 2002 here in the UK, being kept off the top spot by Will Young’s double A-side of “Anything is Possible” and “Evergreen”. I can’t believe such a classic was blocked by not even Westlife, but a Westlife COVER, yet I digress, this is just a lazy and frankly obnoxious way of using the song’s chorus. Kygo is clearly dipping into the David Guetta pool of reskinning prior hits, and I will give it to him that he’s not just redoing a classic EDM track, this is largely a unique house single, but that may make the last-resort hook that much more disappointing. I’m disappointed in you, Kygo. Not you, Ava Max, you can just do whatever. Albania forever.

#36 - “Skin and Bones” - David Kushner

Produced by Rob Kirwin

Oh, we’re actually making David Kushner a thing, fantastic, that other song just had so much to offer, didn’t it? I feel like I can very quickly summarise this melodramatic, uber-serious noir piano ballad, deepened by some of the ugliest froggy-sounding snaps I’ve heard in pop music and only plunged further into sludge by Kushner’s insufferable lyrics, by just a stray observation. When I clicked on the Genius annotation for the first verse of this song, it was completely empty. At least to the first verse, there’s literally nothing there: an empty annotation box. It may just be a glitch on my part, or it was deleted for whatever reason, but regardless, I think this exemplifies how little this song has to offer: someone attempted to just touch upon the pretty self-explanatory first verse, attempted to offer some wisdom or deeper analysis that seems granted with the cinematic grandeur of it all, and couldn’t cough anything up. Once again, there’s just nothing here.

#34 - “Never be Alone” - Becky Hill and Sonny Fodera

Produced by Sonny Fodera

I mean… it has a pulse at least. In fact, this is much more interesting than I expected for Becky, and not necessarily in a lyrical front, simply because she does not need to do much more than recite boardroom word association over four-on-the-floor, but moreso with her vicious delivery, going into an attack that sounds like it was overpowering the mix before being blended a bit more clearly into the nostalgic breakbeat hardcore rhythm that punctuates a surprisingly long build-up into a… surprisingly unique drop. This is really just a flex show for Sonny Fodera here, but Becky stepped up to the plate to match his passion and energy, bringing more of a rough instinct to the trickling alien synth critter that grounds the 90s pads and rock-solid breakbeats into a killer pre-drop that genuinely took me aback, as did this drop, which completely ditches the breakbeats for a tense hardcore kick and more atmospheric, glitching pads that run through the mix like a spiralling staircase, as Becky’s vocalising becomes little more than an inhuman drone until it’s removed altogether. The intensity of the track, filling up the mix with padded quirks even when the breakbeats are relegated to simple fills, is genuinely unprecedented for Becky Hill, and I’m actually really glad that she is not only on hopping on much more effective and unique production, but stepping out of her comfort zone to riff and meander in a way that she never really lets herself do, even in her looser songs. I am honestly quite shocked, but this is fantastic. If this doesn’t smash like much of Becky’s tighter, more restrictive cuts have in the past few years, I will be immensely disappointed.

#18 - “Beautiful Things” - Benson Boone

Produced by Evan Blair

Sigh… one of my first thoughts when Kushner had success with “Daylight” was how much he seemed cut from the same cloth as Mr. Boone over here, and to be completely honest, the concept of the two charting the same week chased me in my worst of nightmares. Hey, at least my dreams have become reality! To be fair to Booner Boy here, he has what Khrushchev and Gossamer lacked: genuine lyrical detail in the verses. There is a certain dichotomy between the universalities of the choruses and pre-chorus compared to the pretty niche and incredibly lucky situation he’s found himself in during the verses, it almost reminds me of Tom Odell’s “Black Friday” given its wordy mundanity, but that’s only lyrically, as I don’t hear much here connecting the two sonically, especially given the faint bass and reliance on soaring guitars on “Beautiful Things” that makes it almost more of a pop rock tune, one that is surprisingly willing to ditch much of its initial build-up for a desperate screech over stop-and-start staccato guitar rhythms that go way harder than I expected. This is what I’ve been saying Lewis Capaldi should be doing for years, if these moan and drone singer-songwriter sadboys are going to have their voice fit over anything, it’s not basic adult contemporary swells, it’s melodramatic, no-holds-barred pop rock, and this honestly becomes pretty killer by that first chorus. The guy can let out a desperate cry, and I’ll be damned if he’s not convincing as he airs out his paranoia about this perfect relationship breaking down. The second chorus could use some deviation, but I’m a sucker for radio rock that takes itself way too seriously and considering his dire earlier material, this may as well be Mr. Boone: The Animated Series. I really want to hear more of this from this guy, and it seems that these last few songs may be the light at the end of the tunnel for an unpromising week.

#5 - “Homesick” - Noah Kahan and Sam Fender

Produced by Noah Kahan and Gabe Simon

Okay, it’s Noah Kahan: there is a base level of quality here and I am actually always excited to hear a new song from him because at least there’s always a lot to uncover and appreciate even if the song isn’t great or has some grating element throwing a spanner in the cogs. This is especially true with Sam Fender in play, as this raises the standard of quality to at least bearable and at its worst, it’s going to be an interesting and perhaps powerful narrative… and if we’re talking about lyrical detail, I mean, Kahan’s your man, almost too much so given some of the awkward wording in that original version from his Stick Season album. On hearing those church organs sliding just slightly off the careening heartland rock groove, I knew exactly why Mr. Fender ended up on this specific song, and this actually lets Kahan let out a little, have a little more fun as he vocalises playfully about his frustrations, delivered largely in the form of punchlines, about his slow small town, with the chorus being him breaking down and basically begging for a reason to grab him out of that place, even if it’s where he grew up, using an on-the-nose but still fun play on words with the term “homesick”. I do wish there was a bit more to its mid-section, it feels like it stagnates a bit once we reach the chorus for the first time, mostly structurally. I want to hear more of Kahan’s stray, funny observations, but we don’t really get more of that even with the ramped-up intensity and a guitar solo way too Weezer-coded for me to not get a stupid grin on my face.

As for the Fender version, well, this is the best-implemented anyone has been in these Kahan duets yet, given Fender brings a new verse giving a unique and personal story about the background of riots in northern England that informed his town, injecting further reason to why one may be Kahan’s form of “homesick”, but also, despite being more strikingly intimate and less darkly comic in his observations, finding a valid and heartfelt reason to live his life outside of that home town: the dreams his father set out for him lay far away from where they were instilled. It adds a lot of depth to the song, and whilst Kahan and Fender don’t play off each other incredibly well, they have a decent chemistry that from interviews with Dork and People seem to have arisen from very similar hapless upbringings and recurring topics in both catalogues. Additionally, I like Fender’s voice more than Kahan’s, and the harmonies fill out the  mix so it’s a tad more impactful, so I think this new version actually beats out the original. I’m also pretty happy that this week, starting off with a lot of mediocrity and not exactly a promising set of artists for me, personally, ended up surprising me with that three-track run by the end, and trailing off with two killer rock songs is the best way to make me feel a lot happier about a week as a whole.

Conclusion

I’m relatively predictable, especially when we get alt-rock on the charts, so I feel like despite how much I liked the Becky Hill song, it’s no surprise that Benson Boone ends up snabbing an insanely close Best of the Week for “Beautiful Things”. It was pretty much neck-and-neck with “Homesick” by Noah Kahan and Sam Fender, which is of course the Honourable Mention, and whilst I think that it is lyrically more insightful, there’s an instinctual raucousness to the emotion in The Booney One’s track that just hits that bit harder. As for the worst, I mean David Kushner obviously gets Worst of the Week pretty much effortlessly with “Skin and Bones”, but I do think I was just frustrated enough with Dylan Gossett to grant his song “Coal” with the Dishonourable Mention. At least Giggs wasn’t trying to say anything profound, and if he was, then I sincerely worry for him.

What’s on the horizon next? God knows, it’s January, but Justin Timberlake has a comeback single, Tom Odell has an album, it may be the week of even more whiny white dudes. Story of my life. Thank you for reading and I’ll see you perhaps a bit earlier than next week.

[sseraflix]

JANUARY 2023 ISSUE | ELLE KOREA [EC]

OFFSHOT / PREVIEW

official = web / pics

MAGAZINE SCANS

credits to @39storage

INTERVIEW TRANSLATION

credits to @fimdungies & @itsLSRFM (web)

Q1: 2022 was a special year for Eunchae. What’s the most memorable scene?  It’s hard to choose one for the most memorable moment, but I want to choose my debut showcase! Before the stage LED door opened, I was standing in the back, holding poses nervously. It was when there were only a few seconds left of the moment I had dreamed of so much. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Q2:  Just by looking at your expression, you can convey the overwhelming emotions at the time (laughs). Today’s pictorial also contains Eunchae’s bright energy, was it fun? I was excited because it was my first solo photoshoot (pictorial). I was excited because it also captured my personality and real appearance as it is. Depending on the pictorial concept, there are times when I become ‘dark’, and there are also times when I burst out laughing and smiling. It’s fun to put it differently every time.

Q3: Even in school, you were full of energy to the extent of participating in the student council and sports club, right? I am the kind of person who couldn’t stand still. I was very cheerful. I like to exercise and run around, so I play soccer with the guys and I think I look forward to PE class the most. 

Q4: You were the last trainee to join LE SSERAFIM  I remember the exact moment I heard that I was joining the team. Since I didn’t have a long trainee period, I vaguely thought that I would’ve enough time to practice tomorrow or the next day. But the opportunity came so suddenly. I was so grateful but at the same time I was scared. But still, with great luck my dream of debuting came to me, so I made up my mind to do well. 

Q5: So your heart became stronger at that moment  Starting from joining the team late, and getting used to it, to learning the choreography also recording, it wasn’t an easy job to do as a first timer. Looking back at the times I was running toward my goal of debuting now, it’s really precious and I’m proud of myself for doing well.

Q6: Even though It’s been two months since the tittle track for the 2nd mini album ‘ANTIFRAGILE’ release, it’s getting more and more love right now. What did you worked on the most while preparing for this song?  Because I wanted to show more sides of myself that I couldn’t show in the debut song ‘FEARLESS’ and do better, so I had a different mindset for this song. If I started promoting my debut song without knowing anything, it turns out  I became more nervous because ‘ANTIFRAGILE’ is my second promotion. The genre was unfamiliar and I was worried whether people would like it or not, but I was surprised and it’s amazing that it’s getting more love than I imagined. It also doesn’t feel real that it got 2nd on ‘Melon TOP 100’!

Q7: Especially on this part “Walk like a majestic lion / eyes glinting with so much desire” we could feel Eunchae’s unique color. It might sounds like you’re singing it lightly, but it sticks in your ears (easy to listen to). I thought it was an attractive part from the moment I heard it in the guide version, turns out that became my part!  The vocal teacher said that it would be better to sing it indifferently as if it were annoying, and it fits so well. It’s fun and interesting to see reaction like “it sticks in my ears/catchy” or “it’s strangely addictive”.

Q8: Did you know that the viewers also received a lot of energy from LE SSERAFIM unique moves like walking and kicking choreography? Do you gain strength by doing all of this move?  It’s really tough physically, but interestingly, expressing the same movements on stage doubles the energy. It gets more intense than when i was doing it in the practice room, I think LE SSERAFIM has the best stamina (laughs) 

Q9: Despite the intense choreography, your expression didn’t get disturb for a moment I went on stage with the mindset of raising my energy as much as possible even for a short time so that I won’t be embarrassed if I see it later, also so that I can show you everything I have. Maybe that’s why? 

Q10: The girls who moved forward without fear in ‘FEARLESS’ grew more in ‘ANTIFRAGILE’. Now beyond fearless, they also have become hard enough not to break. Has Eunchae also changed her mindset or attitude just like the message of the song?  When we were preparing for our comeback, we had schedules and practice, unlike our debut song. We were busy preparing for end year show performance as well so it was tiring. But,  I wanted to be on stage, so I casted a spell on myself to become ‘ANTIFRAGILE’. I was worried with the members as well about whether we would be able to complete this song well and make a comeback, or whether I could pull off this difficult choreography a few times during recording, but in the end it worked. We worked really hard and at some point it was completed. We even said  among ourselves, “ it’s really ‘ANTIFRAGILE’ that we went through a setback and completed a stage that’s better” (laughs) 

Q11: As soon as you debuted, you received a hot response, it must’ve been a sudden spotlight on the team, but Eunchae is full of confidence as if you’re meant to be on stage. How do you get rid of your nervousness?  I started doing this because I liked singing and dancing. I would be nervous or worried that I would make a mistake, but when it came to it and I stood on the stage and heard our song play, I thought “Right, I’ve come all this way to do this” and I felt a boost in my confidence. I’m not really the type of person who gets nervous that much.

Q12: I think I get the reason why the members find Eunchae so cute (laugh). How does it feel to be the maknae who receives all of LE SSERAFIM’s love? I don’t know much about the maknaes of the other teams, but I feel safe because of the four moms, I mean the unnies, that I have with me. There are a few times when it’s a little burdensome or pressuring to have them call me insanely cute even if I say just one thing, but I really enjoy it myself (laugh).

Q13: Each one of these four “moms” has a different character, don’t they? Can you introduce them all one by one through Eunchae’s point of view? I’m someone who can pick up on things really quickly, and Sakura unnie knows that too. One day, she told me this in passing, “You don’t have to be that quick to notice things. The maknae doesn’t need to be so cautious.”. I don’t have to be so aware and I can do whatever I want to do, and that unnie will do all the difficult things for me. Unnie might not remember that, but it really struck a chord in me. For Chaewon unnie, when I had first joined the team I was incredibly shy, and she would ask me if I was having a hard time and if I was okay. Those memories are still fresh in my mind. Yunjin unnie is like my real older sister, when she cuts some fruits up she feeds me a piece, and leaves them in the fridge for me to eat later on. And when I’m sitting still she says “You’re really cute” right away (laugh). Kazuha unnie is really thoughtful and kind-hearted. She’s someone who’s considerate about even the most trivial of things and puts others before herself. 

Q.14: You’re all full of affection. So, what do you like best about yourself? My bright personality? I laugh a lot so that’s why the unnies call me cute, but when I’m quiet it’s like the fun gets sucked out of Hong Eunchae. But I just like myself the most when I’m loud, acting like a kid, and laughing a ton. When I’m laughing, all my worries disappear.

Q.15: What do your school friends, who you laugh and chatter around with, now say about how you’re putting yourself out there in the world? Even so, I asked my closest friend about that, but since they know about all of the effort I’ve made even before becoming a trainee they said “I know that you’ve worked hard, so I’m also proud of you”. Maybe it’s because we’re so close that it was a luke-warm response, and instead of seeing me as a celebrity they just always say “Eunchae you looked pretty on TV today” to me (laugh). They said that being around other celebrities was more fascinating than me promoting as one!

Q.16: They waited for you to ask for their response, you really are besties. Deep down, I could feel that they’re proud of me. When we walk together in the streets and our song plays, or when a dance team performs a LE SSERAFIM song for a festival, I feel happy when they say “That’s your song playing!”. 

Q.17: You’re turning 17 internationally next year, and you’ll finally get your registration card, what’s the thing that you want to do first and foremost? I don’t really know what I want to do, but I first want to get pretty photos taken for my ID photo. I’ve seen Chaewon unnie’s ID photo and she looks so youthful and beautiful. I think I’ll be in great spirits if I get a pretty photo of me taken.

Q.18: What are lyrics among LE SSERAFIM’s songs that give you strength or you just like in particular? I like the lyrics ‘Even if it’s different from my fancy expectations / looking plain and shoddy / Find the good parts the good parts’ from the song “Good Parts (when the quality is bad but I am)” that’s on our new album. There are times when we make ourselves look great and fancy on the outside, but sometimes we can fail to meet expectations and feel like we don’t look so good. So I think that the message of “I love myself even if I’m lacking” is really cool and I want to have that mindset as well.

Q.19: What part in this line of work do you love? This may come off as being shameless, but hearing the loud cheers when I’m dancing and singing on the stage is just electrifying. I loved dancing so I started this job, and I have a huge desire to perform (laugh). The preparation period may have been really difficult and bleak, but back then just imagining that I could be doing all of this on stage made me feel like there was nothing I couldn’t do no matter how busy or exhausted I was.

Q.20: In the documentary “LE SSERAFIM – The World Is My Oyster” which records your journey to debut, you talked about your modest yet strong aspirations by saying “I want to make myself known to many people…”. Do you think that you have enough courage to “get to that amazing ending” just like the lyrics of “FEARLESS”? I don’t think I can say that I have enough, but I’ve gotten confidence from doing this album’s promotions and the year-end performances. Since now I know that there are so many people from across the world saying that our music and performances are cool!

VIDEO / BEHIND

[purposefully-lost]

"I first fell in love with the wilderness when I was a kid. In a bid to impress my mom, her boyfriend at the time took us on what would be my very first camping trip, just a bit of a drive north to what was then called the Lowry Family Campground. Maybe it didn't leave a mark on her, but it sure as hell left its impression on me. I had my first taste of real adventure there on the connected hiking trails, my guardians dragging behind me and fighting to keep me from just wandering off into the woods to explore further. I loved the sight of all that green, of the animals glimpsed through the trees, I loved the huge open space and the chance to really pay attention to nature in a way I never had before. Every summer after that would be spent begging my mom for another trip, or another hike, or a new wild place to visit.

Daniel- the aforementioned boyfriend- shouldn't get all the credit for my newfound love, though. Most of that belongs to someone else. We weren't the only family camping that weekend, and on the second day of our stay I ran right into a little boy around my age with a personality twice as big as he was. My mom recalls him being a little strange and quiet, but if he was, I didn't notice. We were fast friends, connected in an instant in a way only children can be. He had dirt on his face and a beetle caught in his hands, and I was happy to call him my new best friend.

While everyone else was content with just the sight of nature, he wanted to be involved, right in the middle of it all, and he dragged me into it with him. We spent that day getting into everything we could; we chased frogs and dragonflies, we dared each other to look under logs at what bugs might be beneath, we spent a whole hour just being fascinated by water striders on the surface of the nearby creek. We waded into the creek too, much to our parents' dismay. By the time night came about I had mud caked into my hair and enough mosquito bites to last me a lifetime.

We shared a campfire that night, while our parents got up to their own interests or worried about dinner. I'm not sure what we talked about, but we stayed up until we had to be pulled off to bed. I'd wanted to stay in those woods forever. I think he would've agreed.

We said our goodbyes the next morning, when my mom wanted to start the drive home. But if I had to credit anyone in the world with sparking my love for the natural world, it was that strange, friendly little boy."

- From an early chapter of Prey Animal, titled "Firsts"

-----

"About six months after the trial, I went to stay with my mom for a few weeks. She'd had a knee surgery and needed someone to help her out with the normal things while she healed, but I also suspected that she wanted me home so that we might finally talk about Jack Rabbit. More specifically, the fact that I'd been a victim. She was worried out of her mind and I don't think I ever quite convinced her during that time that I was fine, that I'd moved on. Of course, if she's reading this now, she'll know that that was still a lie, just for different reasons. Sorry, mom.

The stay was mostly uneventful, and a well-needed break from my life at home. Even though most of the media frenzy had died down by then, the events they'd centered on hadn't been forgotten. Memorials for some of Jack's real victims hadn't been taken down yet, especially not at the campgrounds, and the campgrounds themselves were still operating on restricted hours and access. Most importantly, my coworkers were starting to decide that it'd been long enough, and maybe they could ask me for an official statement or interview. I needed some particularly boring time away.

One interesting thing did happen, though. Mom and I decided we might as well go through some of our old stuff in the attic, see if there was anything I wanted or things we should get rid of. We came across some old photo albums from my childhood that neither of us had seen in years. There were about three pages of photos from the first time we went camping together, of the two of us and others at the Lowry Family Campground back in the 60's. One particular photo was of me and a young boy: the picture quality wasn't fantastic, of course, but you could see his dark hair and bright eyes, the gap from a missing tooth when he grinned. The both of us were covered in mud and looked quite proud of it. That was my boy, my best friend for a day who had pulled me into loving the outside world.

And he looked awfully familiar. After I saw it, I took it out of the page it'd been tucked into for the past several years, marched upstairs, and found my things. At that point I still had a folder full of research on Jack from when I'd first learned who he was, including a newspaper clipping from the original murder of his family. One of the photos of the family therein, provided by a more extended member, was from a few years before the deaths. It showed a younger Jack, not yet bearing his scars, posed with his new foster family at a family campground somewhere outside the city.

Looking at it then, I realized that my fondly remembered boy had been Jonathan Stone.

I'll spare you the full details of how this revelation managed my turn my already burning world on it's head. It changed nothing, of course, but it changed everything. Staring at those photos, I sat down on my bedroom floor and cried for a good, long while."

- from a later chapter, titled "Guilty Verdict." The described photos are printed on the following pages.

[paracunt]

As emo nostalgia crests, Paramore returns, with a new sound and a healthy outlook

by Suzy Exposito

Twenty years ago, if you told Paramore vocalist Hayley Williams that she’d become one of the most influential pop singers in America, she might have offered little more than a scowl. As a DayGlo-haired punk sprite, miraculously gifted with the lung capacity of a Southern church choir, she couldn’t have seen it then — nor could her childhood friends-turned-bandmates, Zac Farro and Taylor York — but Paramore would go on to craft songs that would alter the trajectories of rock and pop. 

Artists such as Olivia Rodrigo, Demi Lovato and Willow Smith have all cited Paramore’s music as the blueprint for their own snarling pop-punk confessionals. For her 2021 hit “Good 4 U,” Rodrigo gave Paramore a songwriting credit, citing the verses of their 2008 song “Misery Business,” a scathing missive to Williams’ teen rival.

“What feels most merciful about it is that we didn’t know we were doing anything different back then,” Williams tells The Times inside the band’s North Hollywood studio, her neon locks now a mulled shade of amber. “I use the word ‘merciful’ because we could not have predicted that people would give a s— 20 years later. We were just eating peanut butter and living the dream.”

Behind a wall of Marshall stacks and assorted trunks of gear, Williams, 33, drummer Farro, 32, and guitarist York, 32, nestle into a leather couch. Williams’ charismatic goldendoodle, Alf, holds court in the studio: he tramples over Williams, curls his body around Farro’s neck like an exquisite wriggling scarf, then finally curls himself into a ball next to me. Williams, donning a white hoodie emblazoned with the words “Main Character” in rhinestones, chuckles at her dog’s audaciousness; “I’m so sorry. He’s such a star,” she says.

The band has officially just wrapped production on its upcoming album “This Is Why,” set for release on Feb. 10. The lead single of the same name — and the band’s first new offering since the 2017 album “After Laughter” — is a funky tapestry frilled with tambourines and angular dashes of guitar. Paired with a crisp “Mod Squad”-evoking video, directed by Turnstile frontman Brendan Yates, “This Is Why” weaves in tendrils of rock ‘n’ roll’s past but lodges the band firmly back into the foreground of pop’s present.

The band first teased “This Is Why” in September, with a photo of the players’ faces smushed against glass. It called to mind the stifling social restrictions brought on by COVID-19, and the residual hostility between people. “This is why I don’t leave the house,” Williams sings bitingly on the new track, “You say the coast is clear / but you won’t catch me out!”

“How sad it is that we’ve gone through this horrible thing globally, as humans,” says Williams. “Whether it’s racism, or conspiracy theories … I think about how the internet is supposed to be this great connector, but drives us further inward and further apart. I’ve watched people be so awful to each other. How could we go through these things together and come out worse?”

Ironically, Paramore is gearing up to greet more people than they have in the last four years combined — this fall, they will hit the road for the first time since 2018. Kicking off on Oct. 2 in Bakersfield, the tour includes shows in L.A. on Oct. 20 and 27, and three nights at the sold-out pop-punk and emo festival When We Were Young, scheduled for Las Vegas on Oct. 22, 23 and 29.

Paramore will co-headline the fest with another essential emo group, My Chemical Romance. Yet there’s a catch: They may have to perform at the same time on opposite stages.

“They want war!” jests Williams, a longtime MCR fan. “We did not think there was going to be the kind of demand there is. We’re careful about how we engage with nostalgia; five years ago we would have said ‘absolutely not’ to this. But I think it’s significant that we feel confident enough to maintain the journey that we’ve been on and celebrate with these fans.”

Some of the fanfare hasn’t computed for Williams, who came to fame during a vastly different time for women in rock music. Paramore used to be relegated to smaller, designated female stages at festivals, such as the Shiragirl stage at the Vans Warped Tour. While still a minor, Williams was written off as sexual fodder by punk gatekeepers; and by her own admission, “Misery Business,” which viciously dressed down another girl, has aged poorly since the 2000s. Williams retired the song from the band’s repertoire in 2018, citing sexist lyrics like “Once a whore, you’re nothing more,” but the song briefly resurfaced at April’s Coachella festival, where Williams performed a course-corrected version with pop superstar Billie Eilish.

“It wasn’t cool to be feminine back then,” Williams explains. “I put a damper on that for my own confidence, because it was hard to go into a male-dominated space — not even as a woman, but as a little girl.”

“I think that’s why a feminine perspective is really important in this day and age of music,” offers Farro.

( For the record:

1:52 p.m. Sept. 28, 2022 Producer Richard Williams was incorrectly identified as a manager in an earlier version of this article. )

Williams’ dreams of rock stardom were realized early in life. After her parents divorced in 2002, Williams and her mother relocated from their hometown of Meridian, Miss. to Franklin, Tenn., a 30-minute drive south of Nashville. A prodigious singer-songwriter new to the Music City circuit, Williams was discovered by manager Dave Steunebrink and producer Richard Williams; she then signed a deal with Atlantic Records in 2004, when she was 15 years old.

The label primed Williams to be a solo act, in the same vein as pop-rock virtuosas Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne. Yet Williams, already promised to punk, insisted on sticking with her band of friends: bassist Jeremy Davis, guitarist Josh Farro and his kid brother Zac. (York opted to graduate from high school before joining the band as rhythm guitarist in 2007.)

While Williams retained her solo deal with Atlantic, the label decided to release Paramore’s thunderous 2005 debut, “All We Know Is Falling,” via the Florida label Fueled by Ramen: a launchpad for pop-faring emo bands like Jimmy Eat World, Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco. With the release of Paramore’s 2008 breakthrough LP “Riot!,” the band rose up the ranks of the Top 40, continuing with 2008’s “Decode,” their moody cut from the ��Twilight” soundtrack.

However, the separate record deal with Williams, as well as differences in faith and lifestyle, sparked discord between bandmates. After releasing their 2009 album, “Brand New Eyes,” the Farro brothers departed in 2010, stating wishes to be closer to family. Davis worked intermittently between the years of 2005 and 2015; after his resignation, he filed a lawsuit claiming credit for songs on their 2013 self-titled record. (It was settled in 2017.)

The group’s remaining members, Williams and York, won the Grammy for best rock song in 2013 for Paramore’s guitar-gospel hit, “Ain’t It Fun.” Yet the two found it difficult to celebrate; Williams began floundering in the throes of what she’s come to understand as depression and PTSD, while York says he developed symptoms of acute anxiety. “I was struggling with agoraphobia before the pandemic,” he says, with a hint of levity.

In 2016, Williams married her partner of nine years, Chad Gilbert, lead guitarist in New Found Glory. The marriage ended the following year in divorce, due to what Williams has described as issues with his infidelity. She began a course of therapy thereafter.

“In retrospect, I can see clearly that I was looking for a family unit that I didn’t have,” says Williams. “I was angry about that for a long time.”

During this period, Williams exchanged messages with Zac, who had started his own projects, Novel American and HalfNoise, and relocated to New Zealand for two years. Zac returned to Nashville to record drums on the band’s 2017 album, “After Laughter” — a 12-track dance-off with depression that conjured the world-music infatuations of new wave groups like Talking Heads.

“Somehow we metabolize all these styles that we loved growing up, or that we randomly discovered, and it still sounds like us,” says Williams.

The band further indulges their sonic curiosities on “This Is Why,” which is accentuated by syncopated rhythms and jagged guitar rock riffs. The band absorbed the sounds of U.K. acts like Radiohead and Bloc Party, says their L.A.-based producer Carlos de la Garza; the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ 1985 funk-punk LP, “Freaky Styley,” also played a pertinent role during the recording process.

“You just have a new animal,” he says of the trio.

“It’s only lately that my outside and my inside world are kind of congruent, where I feel safe,” says Williams, motioning at Farro and York. “I think as more LGBTQ people [enter mainstream] conversations, people are now familiar with their term ‘chosen family.’ This band kept me out of a lot of trouble. It gave me a place to belong and identify with.”

Paramore’s live shows have served a similar purpose for its diverse fanbase. Prior to the pandemic, Paramore shows culminated in Williams picking a fan from the crowd to hoist onstage and sing along with the band.

On social media, people share videos of Black and brown Paramore fans — long marginalized in emo and the music industry surrounding it — shaking and crying with glee as they sing their favorite Paramore songs opposite Williams.

“I feel a very ferocious passion and want to protect people that don’t look like me,” says Williams, who used her Instagram page to platform anti-racist activists during the George Floyd protests in the summer of 2020.

“Not that there’s any comparison, but there’s something that we learned from not knowing where to fit in growing up,” adds Farro.

“We benefit from the joy of people feeling free and welcome at our shows,” says Williams. “I want people to see different fans onstage. If everyone had the same opportunities, I think we’d be surprised [to see] who would step up when given the chance.

“It is our responsibility to uplift new artists and young people,” says Williams, who has amplified indie artists like Phoebe Bridgers, Nova Twins and Pom Pom Squad on her podcast for BBC Sounds, “Everything Is Emo.”

“I’m stoked it’s turning around, that there’s more people of color in the scene, and so many rad new bands that are teaching bands like us,” says Williams. “We have to continue to make it easier and more hopeful and more equitable as a scene.”

[zaptap]

only just now found out that pokemon FINALLY released soundtracks for sword/shield (+dlc), legends arceus, and scarlet violet (+dlc) on pokemon day. idk why i didn't hear about it when they announced it back in december but that's really cool

i ended up making my own album art to use with the gamerips (since i didn't think the fanmade ones i'd seen looked authentic enough). i didn't do the sword and shield one until recently (there was no clear image of the background so i had to improvise a bit) and maybe i wouldn't have done it at all if i'd known there was an official one already

(these are the ones i made btw. i should probably add that for clarity because they do look pretty official i think. the new soundtracks are japan-only so there's only japanese album art)

bdsp still doesn't have a soundtrack though

i guess it's the least necessary of these. in terms of credits, shota kageyama and junichi masuda did the music, and with more than one person credited it would be nice to have confirmation of what masuda did--but it's probably not a lot since he's had a limited role with music since gen 4 or so (the people who do the pokemon sound sources spreadsheet seem to think he only did "new cutscene theme" and "unused ambient theme" whatever those are). the other 3 had a lot more people working on the music

the other thing that makes official soundtracks cool is when they do bonus tracks, and none of the 3 new ones have any, so bdsp doesn't lose out on that either (for better or worse)

and of course usm still doesn't have its new tracks released on a soundtrack. emerald and platinum only got theirs because bw2 had enough new tracks to warrant a soundtrack but enough space to devote the final disk to those two, so it ended up being kind of a third version compilation soundtrack in a way, but since they don't do third versions anymore i think usm's best hope at this point is being tacked on to an alola remake's ost or something (all of the remakes so far have included the original games' soundtracks on their osts)

[andswarwrites]

Day 19

When I was little I used to watch The Disney Hour on Sundays.  Whenever the movie wasn't animated, I would experience some disappointment, except if it was The Swiss Family Robinson.  That one time they played Old Yeller I rebelled and I think I shut the TV off just before Old Yeller gets shot.  Animation, to me, unlocked a whole world of color, animation and artwork that no other mode of storytelling could equal.  And now my daughter shares my love for the craft, not only as a spectator, but already at her young age, a contributor.

As soon as N- was old enough to hold a pencil, I decided that I was going to give her a giant supply of colorful construction paper, paint, crayons, markers (I got her metallic ones.  She really loved those.) And shortly after she learned her alphabet and her numbers, I taught her color theory. Well I can't take all the credit, there was a song on Youtube by Scratch Garden that taught her, of the colors of the rainbow, which three were primary and which three secondary, which ones were warm and which ones were cool.  It's called The Color Song.

When I was young I loved to draw.  I especially liked to draw people.  Facial expressions, poses; I once made a "photo album" of my made up family with twelve kids.  And I drew all twelve.  I also drew a whole story involving a quest to find out whether some gems were genuine.  It start off with two people shouting "They could be real!".  I've continued to draw off and on over the course of my life, and when N- was old enough I showed her a few basic things, and she just took off. 

From a very young age she included amazing detail in her artwork.  I enjoyed coloring her art for her, because adding color drew the eye to those tiny little details she had created.  N- loves animals, and she invents her very own creatures.  At a young age she started to "vent" with her artwork, and at first she didn't want me to see those pictures.  I explained that showing them to me helps me to understand what she is feeling, and I won't be shocked or appalled.  But if she doesn't want me to see a page in her sketchbook, I respect that.

When she got her first tablet, S- and I installed an app to teach N- how to animate.  We thought it might be fun for her.  She didn't use it very often, so we thought maybe it wasn't her thing.  When N- was old enough to go on the computer, she found a website called Flipanim, and with it she can layer artwork, doodle, and animate.  She has been using that site for over five years now.  She goes through phases where she only wants to draw, and then other phases where she creates complex music videos.

She follows artists on Youtube such as Neytirix and RANDOMstuff Animation who inspire her.  She also likes learning about other art forms from Youtubers like Moriah Elizabeth and North of the Border.  We don't have an official Art class per se, because N- spends so much free time painting, drawing, animating and more.  And I do plan to teach her a course in art history as part of our curriculum next year.  The important thing is that N- draws just about every single day.  Because practicing her craft is essential.

I've always admired animation.  I know 3D animation has been popularized, but I think artsy films like Song of The Sea have their place as well.  N- agrees with me.  We watched it together, and she kept commenting on the artwork and the music and how the two went hand in hand with the storytelling.  When I say "artsy films", I mean stylized and with artistic merit.  I'm not knocking it in any way.  It's one of my favorite animated movies. 

I grew up thinking Disney was the end-all and be-all of animation.  I do love so many Disney movies.  Not as many as I did as a kid.  Growing up my tastes have changed.  When I was in my teens, some friends of mine introduced me to different styles of animation.  We watched Millennium Actress, and since I loved the book Watership Down, we watched the 1978 animated movie.  I had to watch Millennium Actress twice, because the first time I was hoping for a happy ending, and that's not the point of the movie.  Watership Down was well done, but the book is just so much better.

S-'s favorite animated TV series was Tiny Toons, so as an anniversary gift I got him the DVDs.  We actually bought a lot of animated series, from Samurai Jack to Freakazoid.  S- appreciates animation too.  In fact, we're a family of animation geeks.  That's why, when we went to see the Super Mario Movie, S- and I were enjoying it just as much as if not more than N-.  We introduced her to Powerpuff Girls as a kid, we took her to see Inside Out when it came out in theaters.  We're kids at heart, and we hope she will always remain one too.

I think N- has so much potential.  She could earn a living as an artist, either traditional, digital, animator, musician: she has options.  And if she wants to keep those gifts of hers for herself and decides to go in a completely opposite direction, she will have my full support.  As long as she earns enough to pay her bills, rent and groceries, with enough to put aside for rainy days and treating herself, I'll be happy.  I don't want my child to get rich and famous.  I want her to use her talents in a way that brings her contentment.  I want to watch what she does in life, and give her as much support as I can.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Do you think maybe rapline feel more established because they are? Like no funny shit but they literally just are they were all older and artist before BTS debuted and have several solo projects under their belt already before official albums I'm excited to hear the whole album and I like the song but there's also the fact that Joon and Pdogg are credited on majority of the songs

I understand what you mean. I wasn't around when the rap line came out with their mixtapes for the first time, so I don't know if I would have reacted to their debut the same way I did to Jimin's. But I just think that Set Me Free sounded a lot like a BTS song - it had major BTS vibes - and Jimin's styling, choreo, etc. weren't very different from what he does as BTS. But maybe that's just Jimin's own style. However, it means that, to me, Set Me Free feels a bit more like a MOTS: 7 solo than a solo debut. I guess because Hobi and Joon came out with something so different from "normal" BTS, I was expecting Jimin to "shock" me more - and sonically, he did, just not visually. But, also, I think he just looked small surrounded by the dancers? I think his presence was lacking a bit, in the sense that he didn't stand out enough in the MV because it was just a big empty room and dancers crowding him. Maybe that's why I didn't feel like he had the impact I expected?

As for the rap line being more experienced, that means nothing tbh. Jimin has been an artist for a long time. He danced before debut and he's been a singer for a long time now. Jungkook felt like a soloist on the WC stage and in the Dreamers MV and he doesn't have much more experience than Jimin - he hadn't even chosen or written the song (I'm not sure why he's credited but his contribution was probably small).

Lastly, PDogg is credited in most BTS songs, even solo songs, like in Indigo or JITB, so him being credited tells me nothing about Face and doesn't particularly excite me - it actually makes me a bit apprehensive. And Joon likely was involved in writing the lyrics, which don't necessarily make a song sound good. But I am also looking forward to the album and have come to like Set Me Free. Actually, it wasn't that I disliked the song initially. I was honestly more disappointed in the visuals and choreo because I prefer Jimin's dancing to his singing and the MV to me didn't deliver in terms of choreography or visuals.

[zapvewor]

The jayhawks discography rar

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The Jayhawks - Discography USA: 11 Records: Latest Updates: Gallery.

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Bob Dylan - Full Discography, Mike Scott and The Waterboys official. Find Art Blakey bio, music, credits, awards, & streaming radio on AllMusic - The guru of hard bop, whose famous technique -freeload new release mp3 The Jayhawks Mockingbird Time 2011 from zippyshare, uploaded, torrent. In The Nursery Discography Rar I never actually bought the record, but fortunately my sister did and its still in my parents basement. 0) album, but the band has the feeling that it continues to evolve while recognizing the latter. In relation to the staff, this album is a return to the occupation of Sound of Lies (1. Six Pack on the Dashboard 03:13 Alternative download links. The Jayhawks - The Dust Of Long-Dead Stars - 3:37. 0 Comments Tomorrow at The Green Grass another CD titled mystery demos that tracks two recordings with Olson and Louris from 1992 contains. Neele Neele Ambar Par Mp3 freeload Songs Pk more.

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Thank you for your prompt reply, First, I did Install Abaqus and Visual. NOTE: The date stamp on the graphicsConfig.env file should help you determine which releases of Abaqus 6.14 you should update. 14.Build.1.Final + Crack in 'Software' 5.71 MB. People in this Place on Every Side 02:26 09. The long-running Minnesota band’s 11th album is a distillation of their manifold strengths, largely comprised of pastoral accounts of American beauty curdling into something coarser and sadder. Childish Gambino Because The Internet Album Zip more. Let the Last Night Be the Longest 02:54 (Lonesome Memory) 05. The Jayhawks started as a Country-rock music group in their first cds, with the ideal combination of Louris nd Olson's voices (special be aware to Tomorrow the Natural Grass. Download Anime School Days Ova Sub Indo more. 17:27 Paladiasac, this will be 'The Jayhawks' remark, not really 'Smile'. After another hiatus in 2013, the 1997 lineup lead by Louris reunited to play shows in 2014 to support the reissue of three albums released between. After the tour, Mark Olson again left the band. The Jayhawks Blue Earth Hollywood Town Hall Tomorrow The Green Grass Sound Of Lies Smile. The touring band for 2014 will consist of: Gary Louris, Marc Perlman, Tim O’ Reagan.

The Jayhawks will be touring in support of these remastered releases this summer. I had never heard music this fresh and different. Telugu Govindudu Andarivadele Songs.943 downloads at 22 mb/s Artist: The Jayhawks Title Of Album: The Jayhawks Year Of Release: Jun-10-2010 Genre: Alt-Country Label: Universal Quality: V2 VBR New Tracks: 13 Total Time: 38:03 Min Total Size: 54,4 Mb Tracklist 01. The official fan website of The Jayhawks. I purchased Rainy Day Music, their 2003 gem, and was instantly hooked. I never actually bought the record, but fortunately my sister did and it's still in my parent's basement. When he’s not busy with the band, Louris has a sideline collaborating on tunes with other writers for other artists, and it’s that body of. It was 1988 and the Hawks played a small stage along with other acts and the thing that sticks in my head, they jammed out with Mojo Nixon on riously! Their performance to me, anyways, was memorable enough to consider purchasing their debut album (vinyl) that was on sale in the merch tent. Back Roads and Abandoned Motels is an album by the Jayhawks featuring a set of songs written by the group’s guitarist, singer, and frontman, Gary Lourisexcept they’re not exactly Jayhawks songs. In about a month from now, the annual takes place and it got me thinking about the first time I saw the Jayhawks. I would love to attend this concert, but I'm sure my funds will be drained as I'm heading off to Philadelphia this week for 5 days and I don't think I can afford another journey south of the border. Sound Of Lies (1997), Smile (2000), and Rainy Day Music (2003) will all be unleashed on compact disc July 1 st and vinyl on August 5th. The show in their hometown is significant because this line up of the band (Gary Louris, Marc Olson, Marc Perlman, Tim O'Reagon and Karen Grotberg) hasn't played together on North American soil in over a decade. The Jayhawks, in coordination with UME (Universal Music Enterprises), will release three of their greatest albums in remastered format.

) of the Jayhawks reunited again (They played their first reunion show last fall in Spain) with dates earlier this month in Spain and a date on July 10th at the, held annually in Minneapolis.

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Praetorians Mod Imperial 4.1 freeload more. It also includes band member’s solo albums. It lists their original singles, LPs, and compilations. This is the discography of the American band The Jayhawks. Take This Job and Shove It: The Definitive Collection. Find the latest tracks, albums, and images from The Jayhawks.

[popentertainmentmusic]

WHO YOU GONNA CALL? (2022)

Featuring Ray Parker Jr., Nathan Watts, Ollie Brown, Sylvester Rivers, Hamilton Bohannon, Ernie Hudson, Brian Holland, Eddie Holland, Lamont Dozier, McKinley Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Scotty Edwards, Don Passman, David Foster, Jay Graydon, Lee Ritenour, Steve Lukather, Boz Scaggs, Cheryl Lynn, Herbie Hancock, Clive Davis, Bobby Brown, Ivan Reitman, Elaine Parker, Jericho Parker, Gibson Parker, Redmond Parker and Ray Parker III.

Directed by Fran Strine.

Distributed by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment. 87 minutes. Not Rated.

Imagine a documentary filmmaker is looking to make an hour and a half long deep dive into the life and career of a singer-songwriter and thinks to themselves, “Who you gonna call?” I’m not sure that most people would think of Ray Parker, Jr.

Which is not in any way an insult to Mr. Parker. He is a fine guitarist and singer who for about a decade (1977-1986) had a very successful run of hits – charting 12 top 40 singles, both in his band Raydio and as a solo artist. His theme from the movie “Ghostbusters” (from which this doc takes its title) topped the charts in 1984 (his only #1 hit) is still considered a musical standard.

Like I said, a solid career as a hitmaker. However, 32 years on from his last top 40 single (and he was a guest artist on that song which was officially recorded by Glenn Medeiros), is the world really waiting around for a film about Ray Parker, Jr.?

Well, maybe we should be, because the guy has had a fascinating life.

It turns out, he also had a pretty stellar career as a session musician, started working with some major stars when he was in his early teens. (I honestly didn’t know this until seeing this movie, but color me impressed.) According to Wikipedia: “Parker also wrote songs and did session work for the Carpenters, Bill Cosby, Rufus and Chaka Khan, the Supremes, Aretha Franklin, Deniece Williams, Bill Withers, Michael Henderson, Jean-Luc Ponty, Leon Haywood, the Temptations, Boz Scaggs, David Foster, Rhythm Heritage, Gladys Knight & the Pips, Herbie Hancock, Tina Turner, and Diana Ross.”

He wrote songs and recorded with Marvin Gaye when he was only 16 years old. (He played on the What’s Going On album.) He was a member of Stevie Wonder’s band when Stevie recorded Talking Book and toured with the Rolling Stones in 1972. He was also a member of Barry White’s band Love Unlimited Orchestra and played on such hits as “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Baby,” “You’re My First, My Last, My Everything” and “Love’s Theme.” (Parker recollected in this film that all three of those songs were recorded the same afternoon.)

At one point, he was such a big deal as a guitar-slinging kid that he totally blew off a then-unknown Chaka Khan, who wanted to work with him. A year later he wrote the song “You Got the Love,” the first R&B number one single for Rufus. When recording the album, lead singer Chaka Khan asked if he remembered her, and he didn’t. But the song helped to cement both artist’s stardom.

Who You Gonna Call? director Fran Stine recognizes the ingrained fascination of these early stories and adventures. In fact, the film doesn’t even touch on Parker’s career as a front man until over halfway through the movie.

In fact, this film gives Parker’s solo career a bit of a short shrift. It doesn’t mention several of his biggest hits, including “I Still Can’t Get Over Loving You” and “Jamie,” and his second biggest solo hit “The Other Woman” is only acknowledged by having Parker perform the song live at the end of the credits. Of course, they do spend some time on the gorilla in the room as far as Parker’s career, the hit single theme from “Ghostbusters.”

Not completely surprisingly, Who You Gonna Call? ignores the controversy surrounding the wildly successful “Ghostbusters.” Rocker Huey Lewis sued Parker and the record company, saying that the song was a direct rip off of the bassline and the guitar riff of his own recent huge hit single “I Want a New Drug.”

The parties ended up settling out of court, with Lewis getting an unspecified payment, but both sides signed a confidentiality agreement not to talk about the settlement. Lewis did discuss it in a 2001 episode of Behind the Music on Huey Lewis and the News, at which point Parker sued Lewis for breaking the agreement. I’m not sure how that suit ended up (it never seems to have been discussed publicly, probably due to another confidentiality agreement), but I guess that Parker couldn’t very well discuss the lawsuits himself in his own film, even if he wanted to, which he probably would not.

That said, this film probably does – perhaps even unintentionally – shed a little light on the subject. It seems that Parker was in the middle of a personal musical hiatus in which he had moved home to Detroit and was caring for his parents, who were both dying. He hadn’t performed or written any music in quite some time and was totally out of the performance mindset, so perhaps he did not even realize the close similarities.

However, much more interesting was Parker’s life and young career. It gives the performer the due that we may not even have realized he deserved.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2022 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: June 11, 2022.

[harrysgoldenline]

Hi lovie 🧡 First of all, let me just say how wonderfully amazing your writing style is. It truly takes my breath away. Keep on writing because this fandom (Harries) needs brilliant people like you to reenact our fantasies. Secondly, I saw that you were asking for requests, so I've got one for you: could you please write something (either a one shot or series) based on friends to lovers trope, where Harry's in love with his friend who's also a poet. It would be marvelous if some scenes took place in Japan, if that's possible. Once again, thank you for your work. Wish you all the best 💐

OMG YOU ARE SO SWEET!!! that is literally the sweetest thing in the whole world. thank you so much love, genuinely. 

Comments are always highly encouraged and appreciated! I love seeing what you guys think of the writing!

Support me and my writing here!

Writing with You

“Y/N, you’re finally here!” You heard Harry exclaim and you drop your bags as you seem him run towards you, literally sweeping you off your feet and spinning you around his rental home.

He had been beginning you to come and visit him and Japan and you could only use work as an excuse for so long until he came up with an elaborate plan, now here you were. 


After a few moments, he sets you back down on your feet, a massive smile on your face as he looks deep into your eyes, “I’m so fuckin’ glad you’re here.” he beamed, reaching down and grabbing your bags and cocking his head to the side as he lead you through the house, “Your room is right across from mine, if that’s alright. If I snore too loud just come in and hit me with a pillow.”

“Happily.” You laughed, giggling up at him as you followed him throughout the home, taking in the space around you, admiring his small touches he added to the rental home, “What have you been up to lately? Anything exciting?”

“Oh, you know just living the rock star life” He winked, setting your suitcase on the bed before laying down on it, extending his arms and making grabby hands at you until you lay next to him, which you happily do, “I’ve been sleeping in, writing, recording and going to bed early.”

“You are such an old man.”

“Hey!” He playfully scolded, fingers digging into your sides, “You menace! I only brought you here because I thought you would be nice to me!”

“Someones gotta keep your ego in check,” You teased, “tell the fans I say you’re welcome for the ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ lyric.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” He chuckled, shifting his body weight and laying a bit closer, eyes looking deep into yours, faces a mere foot apart at most, “speaking of, have you been writing much lately? I’d love to pick some more out of that beautiful mind.”

“I have a bit,” you blush, sitting up a bit and digging into your backpack, flipping through the pages of your notebook, seeing if anything stands out enough to show him now, but you end up just throwing it on a nearby chair and laying back down with a yawn, “I have stuff, not sure if it’s third album worthy.”

“Oh please,” he started, furrowing his eyebrows at you, sincerity in his eyes, “you are an incredible writer, I love writing with you. I’m sure the studio tomorrow will be magic. But! You need some sleep, you’ve had a long day. Can I get you a snack or drink or anything before bed?”

You shook your head, eyes closing with another yawn and your heart sinks as you feel the weight of the bed shift as he crawls out of bed, eyes fluttering back open and you give him a tired smile .

He smirked, flipping off the switch as he reached the bedroom door, “Sweet dreams, love.”

***

“I am officially mad at you,” Harry said the second you entered back into the studio that was connected into the home that he was renting, to coffees in hand.

“What did I do?” You gasp, handing him his coffee as you plopped down next to him in the studio, taking a long sip as he shook his head at you.

He remained silent, pulling your notebook out of his back pocket and flipping through the pages, his long fingers trailing along them as you could see his lips move, silently reading them to himself. He looked back up at you, closing the notebook and handing it back to you.

“These are all incredible! What do you mean none of ‘em are good enough for the album?”

“Really?”

He smiled and nodded quickly, snatching the notebook back from you as he flipped back through the pages while drinking from his mug. Soon, he hands the open notebook back take you, swallowing the warm liquid as he tapped on the open page, a love poem on the page.

“This one…” he began, “is breathtaking. Most definitely my favorite.”

It’s about you. You wanted to say, looking up at your best friend, but instead you say, “help me finish it? I have some more ideas for lyrics but you are the musical mastermind.”

“I would love to.”

So you two worked together, hours passing as if they were minutes as you huddled together at the piano, thighs pressing together as Harry practiced different melodies, the sound of his voice calming you further.

You couldn’t help but close your eyes as you listened to his voice, humming along where he requested so he could help visualize different melodies. Drifting off into the music, you leaned your forehead against his shoulder. Harry kept playing away at the piano, stopping every few measures or so to scribble away on the sheet music, testing out different melodies and lyrics the two of you pieced together.

“I love this so far…” he whispered, looking at you quickly, “I haven’t felt this excited about a song in so long. Thank you.”

“Harry, you wrote the majority of it!” you laughed, playfully shoving him, “I just had, like, a verse and a half.”

“You inspired what I wrote!” He chuckled, glancing down at you, eyes softening, “in more ways then one.”

Your quickly help your heart beat accelerating slightly, looking up at him wide eyed as you struggled to find the words.

“I mean…” he slowly began, adjusting his body so he was fully facing you, “I mean… your words inspired me to write but… it’s also just you, Y/N… You inspire me.”

His eyes were pleading with you, gnawing on his bottom lip as his hands trembled, praying that you understood what he was saying.

“You inspire me too.”

“Did I inspire this song? Is it… about us?”

You slowly nodded, looking down at your shaking hands, “look, I understand if you don’t feel the same but-“

You were cut off with a kiss, two strong hands grabbing your face as your best friends lips crashed onto yours. You kiss back in an instant, hands coming up to his shoulders, tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Is this okay?” he asked softly against your lips and the second you nod he’s kissing you again, as if to try and make the years of waiting pay off in a single kiss.

Which he was able to accomplish.

He pulls back slightly, pressing a few soft pecks onto your lips before you two look at each other, a blush covering both of your cheeks.

“So…” he smiles, his fingers dancing over the back of your hand before intertwining your fingers, lifting your hand and kissing it, “will you be mine? Finally?

“Yes.” you smirk at him, a hand coming up to his face as you kiss his cheek before letting out a laugh, “So… you gonna give me writing credit this time?”

Harry let’s out a loud laugh, standing up at the piano bench and throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you back into the house, “I knew I love you.”

[lycorogue]

Marinette Getting Paid for Commissions

While watching “Gamer 2.0″, I noted this go around (only saw the episode about 4x; way to be slow on the up-take there, Lyco) that one of the things Marinette had on her overloaded plate were promotional posters for Jagged Stone. She seems to canonically be Jagged’s official graphic designer after hitting that album cover out of the park (something I knew, but it never really CLICKED before).

I asked how much my husband thinks Marinette gets paid per commission, and quickly followed up with wondering if she even DOES get paid for this work for Jagged. 

Marinette seems elated simply by the fact that her favorite musician is CONSTANTLY turning to HER for advice (e.g. - replacement guitarist in “Desperada”) and for official artwork, such as the album cover or that poster she was designing in “Gamer 2.0″. Reflecting back on when I was 14yo, I have to admit that, yeah, I’d probably be just as excited, and not even think about payment. I’d be happy to simply have credit given so I could point and say, “That’s my work!” Live off that clout, baby! Mmmm, Legacy!

Tom, I feel, is juuuuuuust naïve enough to see Jagged CONSTANTLY promoting Marinette and her work, and think, “she’s getting brand recognition and celebrity endorsements; that will really help her when she’s ready to start selling her work” instead of thinking “she is ALREADY selling her work, and should be paid for it.” As far as Tom might be concerned, Jagged is paying in trade: Marinette gives him great artwork, and he pays her back with the free publicity and promotions. Not how it should work, Tom, but I still feel like he might not register that Marinette deserves actual payment. As far as I think Tom’s concerned, he still sees Marinette as his little girl whose “job” is going to school; she’s not a professional yet. So he may just be too focused on building up that platform for when she is.

SABINE, on the other hand. My husband is 100% convinced that Sabine is too savvy to fall for any of these shenanigans! Jagged would be paying a professional graphic designer for the work he’s getting from Marinette, so her daughter better damn well be paid in kind! It’s only right! There’s no way Sabine would let her daughter be used for free labor. I have to say that his headcanon was quickly accepted by me. It seems so obvious now, why did I ever doubt our amazing mama Sabine?

Maybe she doesn’t let Marinette know about the money; her daughter seems to want for nothing, and having more money than one can spend while a child could really damage them. 

Or, maybe it’s to keep Marinette humble. I mean, canonically, the Dupain-Cheng bakery is the “best bakery in Paris” and they are CONSTANTLY being hired to cater for the mayor for his personal life, as well as hired by the mayor to cater Paris-wide celebrations. (Oh, and business-wise Sabine 100% had the Bourgeois pay for Tom to do that cooking demonstration at the end of Chloe’s party in “Despair Bear”... you now can’t convince me otherwise). Also, despite their home seeming small and humble, being an apartment over their bakery, and having their entire living area - galley kitchen, breakfast bar for their dining table, and sitting area - all in one modest open floorplan, and us never seeing Tom and Sabine’s bedroom, their guest bedroom (where presumably Gina stays whenever she visits), or their bathroom, it’s still probably a fairly expensive bit of property to own. They do presumably have the entire living space above the bakery, as well as the bakery. Their daughter has a fairly nice-sized room with the rooftop balcony. They live along the edge of the Place de Vosges, and across from the Notre Dame, so they probably get ambushed by tourists. Lila canonically lives within the same grouping of terrace housing, and - if this part is to be believed - her mother is indeed an ambassador/emissary or other important government worker. I cannot fathom the Dupain-Cheng’s home being a cheap bit of property. I mean, sure, Marinette makes all of her clothes, not because they can’t afford for her to buy new outfits, but because Marinette PREFERS to make her own. Anyway, Dupain-Chengs are more well-off than they present themselves, and it’s probably because Sabine wisely squirrels away funds.

So, anyway, Hubby suspects that Sabine set up some sort of payment with Bob Ross when he first stopped by the bakery to commission Marinette for Jagged’s album cover. She’s also probably the main negotiator once Jagged started coming to Marinette again and again. Sabine most likely has a working relationship with either Bob or Penny (or both), and has Marinette’s payments discreetly put away in a savings account set up to be eventual start-up capital for Marinette when she creates her own business (be it for fashion, graphic design, or whatever else Marinette decides). 

Should Marinette instead wish to use the funds for further schooling or a down payment on a house or to purchase a car, or whathaveyou, Sabine is fine with it. It’s Marinette’s money, Sabine is just making sure it’s there for her for when she wants it/needs it.

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[theshipsfirstmate]

Black Widow Fic: No Time Left to Start Again

Post-BW, between the end and the post-credits. Yelena Belova faces life after The Snap.

No Time Left to Start Again (AO3 - wc: 4983)

She looks down to see her hands disintegrating -- fingers floating away like the wispy tufts of the dandelions that grew in their front yard in Ohio -- and Yelena thinks, Is this a cool way to die?

The question is still on her mind when she comes to, even though she’ll find out later that five years have passed since she started wondering. 

She puts the pieces together as fast as she can, even though each one only makes the picture more grim. She learns she was lucky to be in the Widows’ safe house in Istanbul when it happened, even if the rancid smell of the rotted fridge makes her gag and there’s a hole in the ceiling and straight through the floor from a bathtub left running. 

She learns that the best estimates say it was half of the population that floated away with her that day, and has now returned just as abruptly. The world wasn't ready for them to go, and it is even less prepared for them to return. Cities are plunged into chaos in an instant, governments and aid organizations just starting to steady themselves after half a decade of desolation get the rug pulled out from them once again.

She learns that her phone still works, even if internet service is shit, thanks to dwindling maintenance and overloaded servers. She learns that the Avengers are fighting a war for the fate of the universe (again), somewhere in upstate New York. And she learns, quickly, where she needs to go next.

“Малышка.”

Melina greets her at the gate with an unexpected softness -- so different than the last time -- and Yelena wonders if the woman has simply spent the last five years alone with her pigs, if they've felt any different than the twenty before. Then, Alexi steps out the door behind her, and she realizes that they have. 

“So, neither of you…” Yelena starts to ask as they let her in, though she doesn't really have to. She can see the years on them both, and for a moment, she's a child with a family once again.

My mother is going grey at her temples. My father's glasses are thicker than they used to be. 

They both have deeper crinkles at the corners of their eyes and Yelena finds herself hoping that it’s laughter that’s left them there.

“For five years we've been on our own,” Alexi answers, but he can't help himself a little smirk before he continues, “and moss grows fat on a rolling stone.”

He doesn't smell so bad this time, when he wraps her in a bear hug. Mercifully, he's shaved and taken to civilian clothes -- she decides to keep to herself how much she dislikes his new handlebar mustache.

“You did?” Melina guesses, and Yelena nods her agreement into Alexi’s chest before he relents and lets her go.

When she turns back to face the question, she finds herself on the receiving end of a look that feels equal parts discerning and maternal. That too, she remembers from her childhood.

“Are you alright?”

“I seem to be,” Yelena answers, gesturing down to her hands, tangible once more. There won't be an answer that satisfies the woman scientifically, she’ll have to be proof enough. “I don't remember any of it.”

What she truly doesn't expect from Melina is a hug, and it's even more surprising when it’s fiercer and longer than Alexi’s. A beat too long, Yelena realizes slowly. Alexi turns away when she tries to meet his eye, and her stomach turns over with dread.

Something else has happened. Something she doesn't know yet. Something worse.

“The report came over my comms just an hour or so before you got here,” Melina says softly, an arm reaching up to stroke the back of Yelena’s head, just like she did when she was a toddler. “It's over. The Avengers have won.”

There's the sound of splintering wood and both women step back sharply, turning to see Alexi clutching a handful of splinters that used to be the back of a dining room chair. He drops them to the ground and strides back out the door, pointedly not looking at either of them, and Yelena tastes bile in the back of her mouth. 

“What else?” She tries and fails to stop herself from asking the question. It comes out on a choked kind of half-breath.

“Tony Stark is dead.” Melina answers, dropping her eyes, an uncharacteristic waver in her voice. “And it's been... harder to confirm, but we are almost certain that Natasha is too.”

In the Red Room, after the treatments, there would be a buzzing in your ears for days, like static from an old radio. Widows in training were known to be disciplined after missing commands, and would do their best to shake it off as quickly as possible, but Yelena sometimes welcomed the fuzzy silences, the chance to try and focus inward, no matter how painful.

This is nothing like that.

This is a heartbreak in a cry, a desperate, wailing sound that builds and builds, cutting through the quiet isolation of the farm compound like a knife. It's only when it gets muffled by Melina wrapping her up in her arms once more, that Yelena realizes she's the one making it.

“Малышка,” her mother whispers again -- my baby -- and Yelena can’t tell if it’s meant for her or not.

They sit around the table again that night, but dinner consists only of vodka and memories and they all try -- and fail -- not to notice the empty chair closest to the windows, the one with the broken back. 

“Oh, I hated that blue hair!” Melina admits with a watery chuckle, paging through the photo album when their second bottle is nearly gone. “But she was so good at getting what she wanted.”

“You know, I begged her to dye mine too,” Yelena shares, recalling a long-forgotten memory that means something completely different now. “She said no, that she wouldn't let me be spoiled.”

Alexi interrupts the reverie before she goes too deep, laughter overtaking him as he pokes at Melina’s arm. “I remember the night she did it. You came to bed and you were so fed up, you cried! She made you cry!”

“And I punched you for laughing at me, do you remember that too?” Melina fires back, swatting his hand away.

When she was old enough to realize what had happened to her as a child, Yelena remembers scouring her memories for real moments, signs of genuine affection between the family she hadn’t known enough to question. It was difficult then, to believe any of it had been real. But sometimes now, it's not so hard.

“The only reason I was glad we left when we did, was because I knew I could never have handled her as a teenager,” Melina muses then, but there's little humor left in her voice. Yelena wonders if her face darkens in the same way as her mother’s when they think of that day on the airstrip.

It's quiet for a long moment, but Alexi never stops looking at Melina. Yelena's head is heavy from liquor and tears and she rests it on folded arms as she watches them. (Sometimes, it's not so hard to believe.)

“You didn't want to go,” her father says, low and mournful. “I should have listened.”

“You followed the orders,” her mother answers. “What was the alternative? They would have killed us and taken the girls back if we had made even one misstep.”

None of them had a way out, Yelena thinks, they never had. A super soldier and a Widow, weapons both, with daughters destined to follow in their footsteps. Maybe that's still true. Maybe there is no peace when all you've ever known is war.

But they'd had each other.

“It was real,” she murmurs, as her eyes drift closed. “Natasha said it was real.”

-----

A public memorial for Tony Stark is held on the National Mall. Steve Rogers is consecrated at the Smithsonian, again. But no one seems to know quite what to do about Natasha Romanov. The Black Widow, the female Avenger, the Russian-born assassin, only claimed by America, it seemed, when they wanted to accuse her of treason.

Still, Yelena flies to Washington DC, half-curious and half-desperate to burn off the fog she’s been wandering around in since Melina’s suspicions had been confirmed. 

Captain America, the new one, had announced the events on a world-wide broadcast -- making a point to mention Natasha by name, Yelena had noticed -- and so she heads to the museum first, though she's not entirely sure what she hopes to learn. The Avengers have saved the world several times over, but those conflicts are usually reduced to heroic platitudes when it comes to the public, and she expects this to be no different.

She's mostly right, but the exhibit is worth it for a few glimpses of Natasha fighting alongside the Captain, scattered throughout the pictures and video of the Avengers’ years together. That's how she finds herself in a darkened theater, watching a compilation of newsreel footage, broadcasts and shaky cell phone shots, the valiant timeline of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

She feels him sit down beside her, catches the glint of metal in the sleeve of his leather jacket before she can even clock his face. Her nerves are instinctively on edge, but if he came for combat, they’d already be in it, so she stays still and quiet, waiting to follow his lead.

“ты сестра?” he asks softly. You're the sister?

Yelena turns to face him, the question and answer on her lips. But the Winter Soldier speaks again before she does.

“She showed me the pictures once. From when you were kids.”

Yelena couldn't count them if she tried, the nights she spent in the Red Room, rubbing a finger along the torn seam of her photo strip, willing the thought that Natasha was out there somewhere, holding the other half, to be enough to comfort her enough to sleep.

She turns away before he can see the tears in her eyes, but it’s no use -- they’re there in her throat when she speaks.

“They didn't even know her.” She nods back to the crowded museum and hopes he can grasp her meaning. There’s no way Natasha can be properly memorialized by government officials, who knew her as little more than a recon file, or the adoring public, who only thought of her when the world was ending.

“She liked it that way.” He means it as a comfort, but still, it makes Yelena flinch.

He notices, and she knows he understands when he tries again. “They were never gonna do her justice.”

The world never would, never could, Yelena thinks. A spy. A sister. A survivor. A lost girl, who fought her whole life for the kind of peace she’d never allow herself. These are not the people who get parades in their honor, holidays in their name. 

“I will,” she says, and the stubborn tears win their battle, spilling down her cheeks. “I will do her justice.”

The Winter Soldier nods, with as much of a smile as he seems to allow himself. “I hope you will.”

Then he's gone, back the way he came, and Yelena thinks it's time to leave this city, with its buttoned-up bureaucracy and privatized secrets.

She doesn't care much about the Stark memorial, but skirts around the periphery on her way back to the airfield, catching a glimpse of the enormous photos and expensive-looking displays.

Natasha’s in these too, off to the side or just out of focus. It's starting to wear on her, the way these people seem to barely even notice the Black Widow, how quick they are to disregard one of their greatest heroes because she didn't fly or transform or wield some mystical weapon.

Shouldn’t that have made her even more impressive?

She's standing in front of a tribute to the Battle of New York just beside the bridge, weighing that unanswerable question, hands clenched unconsciously to fists, when Valentina finds her.

“I've been looking for you.” It sounds more like a taunt. I found you.

Yelena scoffs. “Probably a bad idea, if you know anything about me.”

“Oh, babe, believe me. I know plenty,” the woman answers, offering up that ridiculous name, a business card and a tone that's too familiar for Yelena's liking.

She's not to be trusted. That would be clear even to the Red Room’s youngest and most naive recruit. But it's this gleeful performance of espionage, or maybe villainy, that keeps Yelena from writing her off entirely. From the outfit to the attitude, she's either insane or untouchable. Or both.

And then: “So I have some… let's call it interesting information about your sister.”

Yelena clenches her fists tighter, digging her fingernails into her palm. “I don't believe you.”

Valentina seems to anticipate this, and is already reaching into her bag at the answer. She pulls out a thin, soft-bound book, printed with colorful block lettering: Parkside Elementary School, ‘95-’96.

Instantly, Yelena feels like someone's tightening a vice around her ribcage. “No.”

The woman shrugs, with that haughty grin she's already starting to loathe. “See for yourself.” 

She flips it open, turning only a few pages to find the first grade classes, and there she is. Six years old. An innocent smile on her face and a fake last name beneath her picture. Orange juice spots on the collar of her shirt -- Melina had scolded her when they brought the photos home. 

“How did you get this?” Even if it's a fake, it was done by someone who knows far too much.

“Well, you don't trust me, so I won't bother telling you,” Valentina snaps, taking the book back before she can look for Natasha. “Let’s call it proof that I know a lot of people who have been keeping a lot of secrets.”

Yelena tries to look unimpressed, dropping her shaking hands to her sides when she realizes they're giving her away. “You and me both.” 

“Ha! No kidding,” Valentina replies. It's not actually a laugh. “That's exactly why we're gonna work so well together.”

Maybe it's the grief clouding her judgement or residual conditioning left over in her frontal lobe. Maybe it's the unspoken threat to the rest of her family. Or maybe she was just born for this -- a soldier like her father, an assassin like her mother. Whatever it is, Yelena can feel herself agreeing to Valentina’s “offer” before she's even made it explicit.

“We'll start you out small,” the woman assures, but she knows better than to be comforted. “How do you feel about some light arson? There’s some documents and hard drives at a warehouse in Bethesda that need disappearing.”

“Fine,” Yelena answers, ears already buzzing, as a small voice in her head sings along. Fire is the devil's only friend.

-----

When the money from her first job comes in, she buys an old Chevy C/K and drives to Akron, with a useless hope to disappear again. She's lucky enough to find a modest apartment with a kind neighbor who's always happy to dogsit, which becomes a blessing -- Valentina’s demands only increase as the corners of her fake smile tighten. 

But it's enough. Enough that when Yelena thinks about home, she can once again think of Ohio.

Not long after, Alexi and Melina keep a promise she’d asked them to make, and return for a few days. She picks them up at the airfield, and drives to the spot she and Fanny found on one of their long walks together -- under the trees that are just starting to blossom with pink flowers.

Alexi lifts the heavy gravestone from the back of the truck and places it at the end of a row, under a tree, where the ground can't be dug up anyway. 

“Toughest girls in the world,” Yelena hears him murmur as he runs his hand over the inscription.

Melina hasn't spoken much since they landed. Yelena thought at first that she didn't want to come back, but when she closes her eyes and takes in a deep, shuddering breath as they stand facing the grave marker, she understands that it isn't that at all.

“Big girl,” her mother begins with an uncharacteristic, watery softness, and Yelena is transported back to another lifetime once again. “I’m so sorry...”

There might be more to say, but the long, mournful silence is broken by the sound of another car pulling up. All three of them go on alert, until Yelena spots a familiar flash of metal from the driver's side.

“не волнуйся,” she says, still stepping defensively in front of her mother. “It’s OK.”

The Winter Soldier -- Sergeant Barnes, she reminds herself -- parks and exits quickly, moving to the rear of the car to help an elderly man step out and straighten himself.

He isn't what Yelena expected, but once he's at full posture, it's impossible not to recognize him. He's the man from the news, the internet, all the posters — give or take a few decades.

“Captain America.” Under normal circumstances, she might chuckle at Alexi’s awed whisper.

“Forgive us for interrupting,” the Captain says by way of a greeting. He sounds like him, too, so it must be true. “And, in advance, for not explaining. I just… I thought both of her families should be here.”

“If that's OK,” Barnes adds with a look, first at Captain Rogers, then back at the family.

Yelena nods her acceptance, but feels her heart sink a little when Melina turns back silently to face the gravestone. Only Alexi steps forward, extending his arm, first to the captain, then to his comrade.

“Alexi Shostakov,” he offers. “You probably don’t…”

“The Red Guardian,” Captain Rogers interrupts, and Yelena tries not to let her eyes go wide as they shake hands proudly. “The Soviet super soldier. Of course I know who you are.”

Alexi puffs his chest up for just a moment, and gives himself a pleased nod, before returning to Melina’s side. It's proof of his grief, Yelena thinks, that that's the end of it.

Then it's her turn. “You must be Yelena.”

“Captain.” She nods once and then twice, looking past him. “Sergeant.”

“Buck mentioned you two had run into each other in Washington,” the older man says with a well-worn, knowing smile.

“I would say we're glad to have you,” she offers as a reply, “but now I'm mostly worried that I'm not covering my tracks as well as I should.”

“Don't worry about that,” Captain Rogers replies, with a shake of his head. “I had to call in multiple favors to find you. Big ones, too.”

“Well then,” she sighs, “I guess I should say I'm sorry you went through all that trouble.”

Another small smile, and then the captain steps closer, lowering his voice almost conspiratorially. It strikes her that, while he's likely still one of the most powerful men in the universe, there's nothing about him that feels threatening to her.

“I don't know if you've noticed,” he tells her, “but I'm getting up there in years. Why don't you save us both a lot of time from now on, and only bother saying what you mean.”

He means it as a kindness, Yelena can tell, but there's only one question she wants to ask, and it's screaming in her mind like a klaxon horn.

“Will you...” she begins, stopping to swallow when her throat turns to sandpaper. “Will you tell us what happened?”

“Yelena,” Melina says sharply, and she almost takes it back. But she knows the curiosity will eat her from the inside out if she doesn't take the chance now, when it's literally right in front of her.

“No, I want to know,” she tells her mother before turning back and steeling herself once again. “I want the truth.”

Captain Rogers purses his lips and tilts his head, like he's seeing something different in her now.

“You really are her sister, aren't you?” he muses.

She scoffs, almost reflexively. “There's no family resemblance, if that's what you mean.”

“Isn't there?” She hears Alexi chuckle softly behind her and makes a mental note to elbow him in the ribs later. One super soldier at a time.

“Please,” she asks again, and the twinkle leaves Captain Rogers' eye as he nods solemnly.

“Natasha sacrificed herself to retrieve the last of the Infinity Stones.” Yelena only understands part of that sentence, and she's not sure if it's the important part.

“The stones were the key to bringing everyone back, to defeating Thanos once and for all,” he explains. “We made a plan, as a team. We each had our assignments, but we didn't know the cost.”

The cost, it's evident now, had been Natasha, and it grates again at Yelena that all the other Avengers had returned from this mission for their final battle, while her sister’s sacrifice had merely been part of the unknowable set up. 

But Captain Rogers continues, and she finds consolation in the fact that at least he doesn't take Natasha's death lightly, not in the slightest. 

“I went back, after,” he reveals, sounding close to tears. “I tried-- I tried like hell to get her back. I never should have let her go.”

“You wouldn't have been able to stop her.” Melina’s voice comes out of nowhere; even she seems surprised to have spoken. But they all nod at the truth.

“Clint said he-- she wouldn't let him go in her place,” Rogers adds. He’s turning something over in his hands, but when Yelena looks closer, it seems to be just a simple pack of bubble gum. “She was just too…”

His eyes, cast towards the sky, return to their group, and he speaks first to Alexi, and then to Melina. Yelena reaches out for her mother's hand, and it's taken with a fierce squeeze.

“I'm not sure I ever really understood her until now,” the Captain says. “I thought her strength, her heart, who she was, was in spite of what she'd been through. But I know now, it was because of it.”

Yelena’s eyes have blurred with tears, but she can see him turn to her next. “We fought that war for her,” he adds. “And I think she fought it for you.”

It's the eulogy Natasha deserves, the one none of them could have hoped to give, and it feels both fitting and unfathomable that it comes from Captain America, of all people.

They sit in it for a moment, each thinking of Natasha in their own way, until the silence is broken by two people speaking in unison -- perhaps the two that understood her best.

“She would have hated this,” Yelena mumbles, only realizing after a moment that Barnes had said the same thing.

A reserved chuckle rumbles through the five of them, and then a deep, forgiving breath. It’s time to go. 

But Yelena drops Melina’s hand as the rest of them turn back for the road, suddenly unable to move. She can’t pull her eyes away from the grave, stuck staring at a legacy that makes her feel six years old again, a metaphorical pair of shoes she'll never be able to fill.

When she doesn't hear either car start, she expects maybe Captain Rogers or Alexi, but surprisingly, it's Barnes who returns to her side.

“I haven't… I didn't make a speech or anything,” she admits, gesturing at the stone with her sister’s name and titles, and willing him, once again, to understand the feelings she can’t put into words. “I don't know what to say to her.”

He's quiet for a moment, and when he speaks it's lower than she’s expecting, like he’s drawing the words from somewhere deep. “Nat never shared much with us,” he tells her. “I understood that. It's hard to talk about memories you don't think you deserve to miss.”

Yelena knows she’s felt that too, that kind of arrested nostalgia. And she’s seen it in the Widows she recovered before the snap. It's not a surprise that the Winter Soldier could understand it as well -- what it’s like to be freed from a prison in your own mind, but constantly aware of how easily that door could slam closed on you once again.

“She wouldn't care what you say here,” he continues. “She would care what you do out there.”

Suddenly, Yelena wonders if his heightened senses include a bullshit detector, if he can somehow see the marionette strings Valentina has looped around her conscience.

“I might have lied to you when we met,” she admits, telling him as much of the truth as she can muster. “I'm not sure I know how to do her justice.”

“I think you do,” he answers. “Even if it’s hard. Even if it takes a while.”

She turns to face him, and he’s staring at the gravestone like he can see something more than the paltry words they had paid someone to carve in Natasha’s memory.

“Nat was haunted by the red in her ledger, but she also thought it was what made her a good Avenger. She thought it made her fearless, unbreakable.” Yelena looks down and watches the metal of Barnes’ bionic hand curl into a fist, and then release. “But I'll take a wild guess that she was fearless before that, wasn't she?”

Through the years of mind control and conditioning, Yelena has never forgotten the feeling of Natasha’s arm wrapped around her back on that airstrip in Cuba, screaming and threatening men twice her size to try and keep them both safe.

“You may not know what to do now. You might feel like the things you've done, or the things you want to do, have set your future in stone,” Barnes continues, cutting through the haze of her memories.

“But there's gonna be a moment, maybe in the future, maybe soon, when you're faced with a choice. And in that moment, if you choose to be the person she thought you could be, that'll do her justice.”

Yelena looks up and Barnes’ eyes are there to meet now. Whatever he knows, it’s enough. 

“Thank you for coming,” she tells him. “Truly. And thank you for bringing the Captain.”

“Couldn't keep him away,” the man admits, with his little half-smile. “The two of them...I think that was as close as they let themselves get to anybody. I know he’ll always blame himself, but I hope this helped.” 

Yelena nods her goodbye, thinking idly, mournfully, about the way Natasha never gave any thought to her future -- wondering if that’s something she and her teammates had shared. But as Barnes returns to his car, the back window rolls down and Captain Rogers flags her down with something dark and folded in his hand.

“I found this with her things on the quinjet,” he says as she approaches the window, and her throat is tightening with new tears before he can finish, before she can even reach out to touch the familiar fabric. “Thought maybe you might want it. It’s pretty nice, it’s got a lot of pockets.”

-----

When she returns Melina and Alexi to the airfield a few days later, it's the most Yelena has felt like a real person in a long time, maybe the whole of her adult life.

“You’ll come to visit, yes?” Alexi asks, but his raised eyebrow tells her it's more of an order than a request.

“I will.”

“Come for Christmas!” he booms as he climbs out of the truck. “I will tell Santa Claus where to find you.” 

Melina doesn't follow him out the passenger door right away, turning back to face her and looking for all the world like a typical worrisome mother.

“Yelena…”

“мама, I'll be fine,” she promises, trying not to hear how hollow it sounds.

“I know you will. But please, watch out for yourself.” Yelena’s stomach knots at the memory of Melina telling Natasha the very same. That was the last time they were all together, she recalls. It always will be. 

“And if you need us,” Melina adds, “just come home, where it’s safe. OK?”

It's something about the way she says it that steals Yelena's planned reply from her lips. She doesn't want to lie, not now.

So she ducks forward, pressing her head against her mother’s and willing them both a little bit of peace.

“You are the best of us. Strong like your father, smart like your mama,” Melina whispers. “And like Natasha, through everything, you’ve kept your heart.”

Yelena pulls back then, swiping at her eyes, unable to stop herself from asking. “You don’t think that’s a weakness?”

“Maybe, at one time,” Melina admits. “But now, I think it’s lucky. Because now, you have a place to carry her.”

She can do that, at least, Yelena promises herself, reaching down to tug instinctively at the hem of her vest. Natasha died for them, and so she can live for her. She can do her justice.

“Stay safe, Малышка,” Melina says again, kissing her on the cheek before climbing out and following Alexi towards the runway. They two of them turn back to wave before boarding their jet, and Yelena’s heart knocks in her chest to remind her. That’s my family.

She puts the truck in gear and is pulling out to the main road, brushing away a few stray tears, when she notices it. A cassette, half-ejected from her ancient tape deck, with a Post-it stuck to the end. 

She peels off the note and grins at the mismatched handwriting -- “Love, Mom. And Dad,” both in Cyrillic -- before pressing the tape in and starting to sing along.

“A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile…”