#I do agree with ya

[jade-green-butterfly]

I have a feeling you'd agree with me, idk why *peeks at your banner*

Anygays

There was a severe lack of Cooper in the third movie. They did the OG cast so dirty fr.

Hello! :D Thank-you kindly for the ask and don't worry, I do agree with you. I do wish Cooper and rest of the gang had more screentime in TBT ;w; I understand they wanted to focus on Branch's past here but still...it would of been nice to see my beloved cutie boo and the rest of the cast more... 'le sigh' X'3

[qiu-yan]

in order to say "wei wuxian is morally good," you must first define what it means to be morally good

though this is by no means exclusive to them, one logical fallacy i sometimes see wei wuxian stans make in their arguments is that they begin their analysis of wei wuxian as a character with the statement "wei wuxian is morally good."

so their argument becomes:

wei wuxian is morally good.

a morally good person would do XYZ.

therefore, wei wuxian would do XYZ.

alternatively, when they're objecting to someone else's argument about wei wuxian, their counterargument becomes:

this argument says that wei wuxian would do ABC.

a morally good person would not do ABC.

wei wuxian is morally good.

therefore, wei wuxian would not do ABC; the other person's argument is wrong.

while this is in fact a valid argument structure to use for other kinds of traits (ie. "brave," "doesn't think of the consequences," even something like "afraid of dogs"), this format of argument in fact cannot be used for a descriptor as vague as "morally good"--because, unlike the other traits, "morally good" is not precisely defined enough for the above argument structure to work.

"morally good" is not a character trait in the same way that "wants to defend the weak," "is angered by innocent people being harmed," and "does not fear consequences" are character traits, because what is considered "moral" can vary significantly from person to person. what a utilitarian considers to be moral, for example, diverges significantly from what a deontologist considers to be moral. if i were to say "wei wuxian is a morally good person," i have frankly said less about wei wuxian's personality and more about what i myself believe to be ethical.

thus, the reason why the above argument pretty much never works in the wild is that the depolyers in question rarely actually define what they mean by "morally good."

consider the case in which two different wei wuxian stans write on their blogs "wei wuxian is a good person." however, the first person follows a moral philosophy that centers courage in the face of certain failure, while the second person follows a moral philosophy that centers reason and pragmatism. thus, what the first person actually means to say is "wei wuxian is someone who courageously chooses the correct path even when he is doomed to fail," while what the second person actually means to say is "wei wuxian is a reasonable and pragmatic person." these are no longer the same statement.

or consider the case in which the first stan follows a moral philosophy that centers agent-neutral harm reduction, while the second stan follows a moral philosophy that centers agent-relative reciprocity. in this case, what the first person actually means to say is "wei wuxian is someone who helps others regardless of whether they've helped him before," while what the second person actually means to say is "wei wuxian is someone who always repays kindnesses done unto him." again, these are no longer the same statement.

in general, if one wishes to argue that "blorbo is morally good," one must first specify what exactly they mean by "morally good," because not everyone follows the same definition of "morally good." many blorbo stans, however, don't actually do this. instead, they write their arguments as if their own definition of morality is already universal law; a reader can thus only reverse-engineer what the op believes to be morally good from their post. and this leads to no shortage of disagreements: two different blorbo enjoyers might find themselves in an argument over what they believe to be their blorbo's characterization, when in reality they are actually disagreeing over what it means to be ethical at all.

on the topic of disagreement, another fact that must be acknowledged is that wei wuxian himself is also a character with his own specific thoughts and feelings. wei wuxian is not an abstract paragon of righteousness whose definition of morality just so happens to perfectly match the reader's definition of morality; wei wuxian is a specific fictional character with his own specific thoughts as to what is right and what is wrong. and every reader has to accept that what wei wuxian considers to be right can in fact be gleaned from the text--and that what wei wuxian considers to be right will not always match what the reader considers to be right. wei wuxian might, in fact, disagree with you.

thus, if you want to make any sort of statement regarding wei wuxian's moral character (whether that be "he is morally good" or "he is morally bad") you in fact have to consider not just one, but four different questions:

what do you consider to be morally good? what moral framework and/or school of moral philosophy do you use to determine what is ethical?

how well do wei wuxian's actions adhere to what you personally consider to be morally good?

what does wei wuxian consider to be morally good? what moral framework and/or school of moral philosophy does he use to determine what is ethical?

how well do wei wuxian's actions adhere to what he himself considers to be morally good?

all of these are different questions! they cannot be conflated with each other.

to write a good analysis, you must accept that [what you consider to be morally good] will not always match [what wei wuxian considers to be morally good]. when such disagreements arise, rather than distort wei wuxian's character to match what you personally believe to be morally good, perhaps consider just allowing wei wuxian to disagree with you instead. even if he's doing something you honestly can't defend, maybe wei wuxian is still striving to live as best he can according to his own ideals, and it just so happens that his ideals do not match your ideals. you really should not distort wei wuxian's motives or beliefs just to make him more palatable to you, simply because you have wedded yourself to the idea that "wei wuxian must be morally good by my own standards."

closing thoughts: this isn't really exclusive to wei wuxian stans. i've seen all sorts of character stans in all sorts of fandoms make this same logical fallacy. i certainly think that some of the jiang cheng analyses i see from fellow jiang cheng stans are born less from an objective analysis of his character and moreso from the op's desire for his actions to align with their moral compass. but, out of all the characters in MDZS, it seems like people commit this logical fallacy when discussing wei wuxian specifically far more often than they do with any other character, save perhaps lan wangji.

[imaginationblur]

Ending of frontiers got me thinkin, you know what that means

FOREVER WIP HELL (Ref. Amy design)

[aquickstart]

what do you mean saltburn is not a great movie. what do you mean its bad but pretty and fun. have you never longed to escape the confines of your environment. have you never pretended your way into acceptance. have you never longed to break free of this need and not care about the damage you wreak in your way just to let your monster run free. at the very least have you never hated whatever you loved and longed for what you lost after having made the decision to lose it for the better. was it not cathartic

[respectthepetty]

Rose's Day of Asks

Top 5 "it's cannon to me" couples.

Have a great Day💜

No. NO! NOOOOOO!!!!!! I will not pick between my beloveds! No. I can't! I won't! I shan't! No! I have too many and all of them are special to me. NO! But I will give you something because this is a good ask!

Top 5 "It's Canon to Me" Couples of 2023

and as usual, I will finesse my way into more!

Let me begin with the couples who cannot be considered for various reasons:

ToddBlack - Not Me

The reason they are being excluded isn't because they weren't in 2023. No! The reason they cannot be included is because THEY ARE CANON! Not just to me, but in the show. They. Are. Canon. They love each other in their warped way. They have fucked and will continue to fuck. And even on this day of marriage equality in Thailand, they still wouldn't get married because Black doesn't believe in the institution of marriage since the government is too involved in it and it's a capitalist tool used to push a heteronormative agenda, and Todd has a team of lawyers there to make sure Black gets everything he wants from Todd including the right to pull the plug on him, which he won't do BECAUSE THEY CAN'T KILL THE OTHER!

Guang Yan x Yi Yong - Oh No! Here Comes Trouble!

It's canon. Once again, it's not just canon to me. It's canon in the show and if people don't want to believe it, they can argue with the ghosts, but the ghosts also know it's canon because they witnessed these two fall in love with each other, so those negative people will still lose! When Yi Yong fell, Guang Yan ran to Yi Yong like his entire world was being destroyed right in front of him, and as a future doctor, he was losing his shit trying to keep Yi Yong alive. Then he stood in front of Yi Yong's mom, god, and ghost grandpa and stated directly into the microphone without any hesitation that Yi Yong was his heart and he needed him to come back to him. And if I ever get a second season, I know they'll still be sleeping in that bed, together. They. Are. Canon.

Peach x Home - Peaceful Property

This show hasn't been released yet, and the word on the streets is that it won't be a BL, but . . . it's canon to me. It's Tay and New. They are always down to kiss a homie. The pilot trailer was color coded, and although color coded boys don't have to be in love, they ARE in love. Therefore, they are canon. I don't make the rules.

Now for the actual list:

#5 - Saifah x Name - Dangerous Romance

They knew each other in high school, and when they met again as adults, there was chemistry. Name should've shot Saifah. Name should've been harsher to Saifah, yet he was granting leniency to Saifah. Then Saifah wanted Name out of the business. He wanted him to be safer and happier. Even though that didn't happen, Saifah still showed up in that jail to let Name know he would be waiting for him, no matter how long it took.

They are canon.

#4 - Oab x Guy - Bake Me Please

They were best friends. They started a business together with their other (bitchass) friend who Oab was in love with. They hired another baker to help their (bitchass) friend and Guy developed feelings for him. But . . . they actually loved each other! This isn't me being delusional either! When the dust settled, Guy and Oab sat down at a bar in the final episode, and Guy made it clear that not only was he far removed from his previous crush on someone else, but that he was there for Oab to help him get over his broken heart, in any way Oab needed him *wink*

They are canon.

#3 - Hyun Jae x Simeon - Jun & Jun

Simeon is an experienced idol. Hyun Jae was his manager, but Hyun Jae quit with no notice to go take care of the main character. The conversation when Simeon confronted Hyun Jae after he found out was thick with tension, and I do mean the physical kind. Simeon schemed his way into seeing the main character years later, but I truly believe it was a guise so he could see Hyun Jae because everything he did was to draw more attention from Hyun Jae. After that first encounter, they argued in cars, on rooftops, in dressing rooms, and standing on city streets, and I fully believed they fucked in all those places too!

They are canon.

#2 - Dome and Khatha - Midnight Museum

Dome is a god. Khatha is immortal. And they traveled through time and space to be together. The show labeled them as "brothers" but I don't know if it's because Gun and Tor could have chemistry with a broomstick, but THEY WERE IN LOVE! What convinces me even more is that Dome wasn't actually Khatha's "brother" Chan but looked like him. Khatha even confronted Chan AND KILLED HIM so he could be with Dome. Khatha made a decision to kill what we had been told was the most important part of him just so Dome could be safe. Then he ran through time to find Dome in the middle of a war with bullets flying and bombs dropping all so he could save him again just like he had the first time they met, and if I ever get that second season (MIDNIGHT MUSEUM 2 WHEN?!), GMMTV better let Gun kiss another man who isn't Off.

They are canon.

#1 - Yui x Soichiro - I Cannot Reach You

These two were just chilling in the background of every scene. TOGETHER! On a school trip? Together. At a festival? Together. Looking at books in the library? TOGETHER! Even though we never saw them kiss, their taiyaki kissed, so that's good enough for me! They were color coded (pink x green), which I think is one of the best color-coded pairs to ever exist, and Yui was giving advice to the main couple to get their shit together, probably because he was already in a loving and long-term relationship with his boyfriend!

They. Are. Canon.

[thecrenellations]

Xiao Jingyan, Mei Changsu, and this post :)

[moonchild-in-blue]

Not forgiving yall for making me believe Price was a proper Tired Old Man™. What do you MEAN he is canonically 38/39 💀

and what do you mean Soap is like? 27? sir you are but wee boy. where are your parents.

[decarbry]

a frequent visitor

[muirmarie]

thinking about if tos mccoy had died before romulus was destroyed, tos spock could've been carrying his not-quite-a-katra during the events of the aos movies

[stopthatfool]

MORE HEADCANONS! YAYYY! aka how i think top gun characters would act on their birthdays

Maverick- i think Mav would have a birthday in September or October.... don't ask why... i just feel it. But deep down Mav wants his bday to be in the summer months. I don't think he enjoyed his birthdays during elementary or high school. BUT he liked celebrating in his 20s (partying, drinking, women blah blah blah). Once he hits thirty he no longer likes to celebrate (hates the fact that time moves forward etc etc)

Ice- i think his bday is the same as val kilmer’s (dec.31) it just makes sense to me. He doesn't care for celebrating, he can and he will, but he doesn't need to, because either way people are celebrating new year's eve. ("Today is my birthday. Time to go to work")

Goose- LOVED to celebrate with his friends in school. And LOVES to celebrate other peoples birthdays. likes to receive and give presents. Always gives a card too, loves to ramble and write lots of stuff in it. Always includes a little polaroid pic with it. Early March birthday.

Slider- Pretends not to care about his birthday. but he will be passive aggressive about it if you forget to wish him happy birthday. so deep down he does care. But he will not remember your bday (he's just like me).I think his bday would be in April idk why.

Chipper- Loves his bday. loves the attention. needs to celebrate it. everyone needs to get him a gift and do everything he says that day. November baby.

Sundown- likes to celebrate but more casually than Chipper. Goes out for dinner, grab a couple bears with the guys, watch the game etc etc. late July birthday.

Wolfman- HATES his birthday. LOVES other people's. Does not know how to react when he is given a present. ("Wow. Um. Thank you.") I think his birthday is on valentine's day. idk here's a box of chocolate hearts, dude.

Hollywood- Pretends to hate the attention he gets on his birthday, but secretly loves it. Will get passive aggressive if u forget his birthday. August birthday.

[roboticbats]

i feel like i just need to remind y'all that louis did actually deal drugs, probably not personally but he does make two mentions of it (ep1 confessional scene - "i profit off the miseries of other men and i do it easy, drugs, liquor, women," and when he meets daniel at mary's - "i know you're struggling, i have what you're looking for, high quality, befitting a man of my tastes" said to an addict looking for drugs) i saw something the other day where people were getting mad at someone for assuming louis deals in drugs but like..he does/did, it's just not his main enterprise

[batrachised]

inspired by the rubio quote on emily - I understand believing the LMM heroines leaving their ambitions behind is somewhat necessitated by the historical context, and I sympathize with those who would have preferred a different ending for Anne or Emily...but also (esp w Anne), I find it the line of thinking frustrating because (1) it's a false dichotomy that's (2) belied by the text imo and (3) somewhat dismissive of marriage as less than. Anne keeps writing after her marriage. She reads her poems aloud to her family and (iirc) inspires her children to do the same. Just because Emily is marrying Teddy doesn't mean she'll stop writing. The text gives us literally no reason to think that, and in fact explicitly states the opposite when Emily says that she has to write. No matter what, she has to write. If Anne, who doesn't demonstrate Emily's level of ambition, keeps writing, it's nearly laughable to think that Emily wouldn't.

What's especially frustrating is that repeatedly, LM Montgomery's stories focus on the importance of community and family in shaping, sourcing, and strengthening creativity. In Emily, it's explicitly stated that she couldn't have written her breakthrough novel if she had moved to New York and followed her ambitions as such. That's doesn't necessarily translate to romantic support, but romantic support is one form of that! Certainly, these heroines all have domestic endings; it's almost as if LM Montgomery's defining characteristic is finding beauty and power in domesticity, all while acknowledging domesticity doesn't exclude talent and ambition. Her thesis is that women can, and do, contain both. Anne can dream of handsome princes one day and publication the next because you know what--quite a lot of girls do! Emily can fiercely chase publication and long for companionship because you know what - that's the most human thing imaginable!

Acting as if marriage is an imprisonment or hindrance of some sort while LM Montgomery's heroes are marked by being supportive of their wives' talents and ambition (Gilbert is unthreatened by Anne's intelligence; Teddy understands Emily's ambition) ignores the major themes of the novels. It also fails to grapple with the historical barriers faced in a substantive or satisfying manner; it simply poo-poos the semi-requirement of marriage as the happy ending all while ignoring how radical the statements that first, women have ambitions and, second, their ideal partner would support those ambitions, were for the time.

The position also assumes that publication is the only legitimate form of success for writers, and similarly, "real" success requires recognition. It ignores the inherent value of creativity, inserts its own standards for success, all while ignoring what the heroines themselves state they want. Anne wanted marriage and babies; Emily is deeply lonely at the end of Emily's Quest and desires a companion who understands her. LM Montgomery actually directly addresses the idea that Gilbert stole Anne from her ambitions in TBAQ, and Anne laughs at the idea. For Emily, it's more understandable because she does value publication and is very ambitious, but that's where point number one comes in. Would the critics of her (admittedly rushed and slapdash) ending prefer that she stay alone surrounded by people who don't fully understand her? If anything, it's implied that Teddy will enhance Emily's creativity by providing the support she needs, and has in the past when he literally gives her the idea for her first novel, A Seller of Dreams.

I understand the cut and paste ending of "love husband marriage babies" can get to be tiring, especially when presented as the "right" path for women. I admit that the historical context - and pressure - here is impossible to ignore. After all, the examples I gave above are only legitimate to the extent LM Montgomery legitimized them; there could have easily have been a version of the story where Emily only succeeded because she moved to New York. Even LM Montgomery, as mentioned above, writes Gilbert explicitly saying that he regrets that he stole Anne's talent from the world. Sexism is definitely present in these novels. Still, the condescending tone when talking about these ending irks me. In the end, I guess I find the sainting of ambition as ridiculous as I find the sainting of marriage and babies as paths for women. One's as gross a simplification as the other.

At the end of the day as well, LM Montgomery writes slice of life novels based on the charm of rural PEI and local community. She focuses on the everyday purposefully. Complaining that she doesn't have heroines who move beyond domesticity (although really, she does with Sara Stanley) is like going to a pizza parlor and complaining when you get served pizza. Again, this only works to the extent that you agree with LM Montgomery's presentation - but there's something silly in complaining that her slice of life semi-romance novels from the late 1800s-early 1900s all end in marriage for the heroine.

[moonshynecybin]

I was watching an old press conference recently I couldn’t tell you which one I’ve forgotten it’s from 2013 or 14 but Marc like strokes vale’s head and I had to pause and go wtf what is happening why are you doing this Marc are you trying to get caught like insanity he had no chill.

laguna seca post race 2013

[askbensolo]

So... Hows ur mom?

…Where do I start.

So…uh…as you know, I was…not very responsive last week. I had a couple of missed calls from Mom, which happens so often when I’m mentally well anyway, that I guess it just doesn’t worry her anymore.

But I called her back. And, since the last time we talked went really well—she basically agreed that she didn’t need to hound me as much, because she knew she could trust me to tell her if I’m ever in trouble—I was honest with her about…about my little sadboi week.

I haven’t had an episode like that in a long time. The last time I got that depressed was two years ago, in senior year of college, when I was facing graduation and didn’t know what I was doing next.

It was bad. It happened during midterm season, and I literally just failed all my midterms that semester. All of them. I showed up for one of them hungover (don’t drink when you’re depressed don’t drink when you’re depressed), showed up for the next with an active panic attack, and then when I saw how horrendously I did on both I stayed in bed the rest of the week and didn’t even show up to take the other three because I was convinced my life was just over at that point—

Which was so stupid of me, because this is my second time getting hired, and no one has ever asked me about my GPA, not even once—

But anyway—all that to say—ever since that time in college, I’ve had a great track record of, you know, not wanting my life to end.

So...I don’t know why it hit so hard last week. I think maybe it was just too much at once. Getting the flu and being bedridden and not being able to do anything I love, missing Fannie and not having any sentient contact for several days, thinking about my new job and my new roommate and my new relationship (situationship?) and thinking to myself—wow—I am winging it—I don’t know what the hell I’m doing—I’m not a real grown-up, I’m just three kids in a trenchcoat—

So anyway. I told Mom about getting depressed. And...she got really worried. And she asked tons of questions.

“Did you have anyone with you?”

“No, Poe delayed his move-in since I was sick.”

“Did you message anyone for help?”

“No. Mom, you know how it works—”

"Did you reach out to your therapist?"

"Mom, I'm not her client anymore—"

"Do you still have access to the university counseling services?"

"Why would I, I graduated—"

"Did you try to see your doctor?"

"For the flu, or for the depression? Because the doctor wouldn't have been able to treat either—anyway, no—"

“Were you eating?”

“Uh. No—”

“Were you suicidal?”

And I stopped and didn’t say anything for a second, because, well, it’s not really that simple; it’s not always a yes or no question—but a second’s hesitation was too long for Mom, I guess, and her eyes flew open, and she said, alarmed, frightened, in a voice like an approaching tempest, “Ben Organa Solo.”

“Mom,” I said, trying to stay calm, trying to keep her calm, “Mom, listen. I know it sounds scary. But you gotta understand that there’s, like, levels to it. I had thoughts, flying around in my brain, sure, but I was never going to do anything—”

“No,” she interrupted, as seriously as if I currently had a blaster in my hand. “No. No. No. You should have called me.”

“Mom. Mom. What am I gonna do, call you while you’re on the senate floor just because I’m sad—”

“If you’re suicidal? Yes. Or call Dad. Call emergency services. Call anyone.”

“Mom. I wasn’t going to do anything—”

“I’m not interested in taking the chance,” she told me solemnly, her eyes somehow boring into me through the hologram.

“So...you don’t trust me,” I said, frustrated. “You don’t trust me to not just do any damn thing that comes into my head. You don’t think I know how to sort my thoughts into things that belong in reality and things that don’t.”

“You’ve attempted before—”

Geez, not that little nugget!

“That was almost seven years ago!”

“You just told me you weren’t eating, Ben! That doesn’t sound like you were making choices to try to keep yourself in this galaxy—”

“Mom, first of all, I was sick, and second of all, if I was gonna kill myself, I’d sure as hell find a faster way to do it than starving to death!”

It was the wrong thing to say. She seemed to go pallid—I couldn’t see it in the hologram, but I could sense it in her energy.

“…Listen to me,” she said, her lips tight. “Ben. You can’t let this happen again.”

I stared at her. “Mom…do you think I got depressed on purpose?”

“I mean, if it happens, you can’t just keep it to yourself and not tell anyone,” she said anxiously. “And you can’t miss my calls anymore. I just thought you were busy with work—I had no idea—Ben, you cannot miss any more calls from me, do you understand? And I want to hear from you every day if possible. Just a short little message.”

“Mom! You want to me to text you every day? What am I, eighteen? You promised me you were gonna get off my back—”

“Well, you promised you were going to keep me in the loop, and you didn’t, so that little agreement is over now as far as I’m concerned. I’m not asking for a lot, Ben. I just need to know that you’re okay—”

“Well, it sure feels like a lot—”

“Do you still write your blog?” she cut in, all of sudden, catching me way off guard. And I wasn’t sure why she was asking, but it definitely had something to do with wanting to spy on me. Yeah, yeah, I know it's not really “spying” if my blog is up here for anyone to read—but even though I'm happy to let you, a perfect stranger (well, you guys are more like friends to me now), wade through all of my trauma and my mental issues and my (lack of?) sexuality and my first time falling in love at age twenty-three and tons and tons of embarrassing poetry, I think even a chronic oversharer like me has the right to not have his mom reading all of that—so, I found myself lying before I could even decide whether or not to tell the truth.

“No,” I said. “No, my blog was so dumb. Nobody blogs anymore. Everyone's on Twi'ktok now. I stopped being popular. I haven’t touched that thing since I was, like, nineteen or something.”

Oh my Force, I thought. I just lied to my mom. And what a stupid thing to lie about, too, ‘cause all she has to do is not believe me and look it up and then I’m toast—

But I don’t think she had any time to ponder my answer, because then another question came to her—

“When does your new lease start?”

Oh. Oh. Not this. She was trying to get me to move back home again.

“Mom, it already started,” I said. “On the first.”

“Maybe you could still get out of it—”

“And what, Mom? Leave Poe to pay two thousand credits a month on rent all by himself? I don’t even think he has a job right now, to be honest—”

“He could find a new roommate. Dad and I could help cover some of the cost—”

“Mom, no! This is ridiculous—” and I was going to explain why, but then her eyes flashed, and then The Question hit the ground, the mother of all questions—

“Ben. Ben. Did Snoke try to contact you?”

And I knew the answer to that immediately. It was “no.” Because it had to be “no.” Because “no” was my only option if I didn’t want my life to suddenly hard-redirect straight into a wall and to go to pieces. And I’d already lied about my blog anyway, so, telling something that wasn’t even fully a lie was easier.

Because...it wasn't a lie. The full answer was “No, I didn't see Snoke, I just had a dream about him,” but that would have caused my mother to go insane, so I was just, you know, giving her the abridged college notes version—

“No,” I said, sounding so sure of myself that I convinced whatever part of me wasn't already convinced. “No, Mom, he didn't reach out to me.”

And I guess I convinced her too, because she relaxed a little.

“Good,” she said, looking like she was taking her first deep breath in several minutes. “Good.”

But, hoo buddy, I did not feel good in that moment. There’s a lot I don’t tell my family—I still haven’t even told them about me and Fannie yet—but I try not to lie to them. Usually.

…I’m talking about the part where I lied about my blog. I didn’t lie about not seeing Snoke. Because having a fever dream about him doesn’t count as seeing him.

I agreed to text my mom every day. Or…try to. Which...I've been doing, but…it’s been super painful, for reasons I can't fully explain. And get this—Mom said she’s sending over Threepio this weekend. Indefinitely. She tried to play it off like, oh, Threepio’s been getting in my way recently, maybe you could use a protocol droid around, I’m sure he would enjoy Theed—no, Mom, no, I can see this for what it really is. You are sending the family protocol droid to babysit your adult son. Seriously?? My apartment isn’t that big. We’ve already got another droid rolling around and getting under our feet all the time. Throw in Threepio, who never shuts up, and maybe I really will kill myself—

Sorry, bad joke.

Yeah…I have half a mind to just shut Threepio down once he gets here, and leave him powered off in the closet. But the idea of having a dead protocol droid in the closet kinda freaks me out, so…probably not.

And all this, just because I dared to be honest with my mom about still dealing with depression sometimes. Yeesh. I know I shouldn’t be, but…I’m kinda glad I didn’t tell her about anything else.

I thought about asking Fan whether she thought it was ever okay to lie. Like, in a situation where you know that everything’s fine, and telling the full truth would just stress everyone out for no reason. Fannie always seems to know what’s right and wrong, when I find myself wondering a lot of the time.

But...I was pretty sure I knew what she'd say, so...I didn't ask. And, besides…things are still kinda rough between us right now.

We made up about me not replying—I apologized for dropping the ball and not thinking about how that would hurt her, and she apologized for getting angry at me right away instead of trying to understand what was going on with me—but—but—the latest development? She asked me if I thought she weighed too much.

Like, randomly. No context. No lead-in. No nothing.

What??

WHY????

She’s never seemed to care about that before. I said, uh, I don’t know, I think that’s kind of up to you, how much do you want to weigh? If you’re happy the way you are and your weight isn’t negatively impacting your quality of life, you’re fine? If you want to change, you can?? I don’t know why you’re asking me???

But this must have been some kind of mysterious trick question with some mysterious right answer, because then she dissolved into tears and now it’s a whole big thing and I’m starting to think girls just speak a different language sometimes where all of the words are Basic but they just mean something totally different from what I think they mean and I don’t know what they mean and I still think I like things better this way, at least I’m pretty sure I do, I definitely did when we were—ha—kinda making out on the couch or whatever you call that—but things were way easier when we were just friends and things are way harder now that we’re apart and sometimes—sometimes, I just don’t know what the heck is going on.

[lungfuls]

like, abuse in secret happens, especially when society Wouldn't approve of the abuse. abusers aren't necessarily being enabled to abuse, often they are going to great lengths to hide how they treat someone. and like, people who knew how my mom treated me didn't feel like it was okay because i was a female or child or a female child.. they just weren't willing to get involved to a degree that would affect anything bc it would logically end in assisting to remove me from the home and people reasonably question their own judgment and intentions when faced with a choice like that, often deciding it may be best if they stop meddling because that's such a huge way to alter the course of a child's life. i do think people may have been more sympathetic to me if i was a boy + my mom may have loved me more if i was a boy, but that's not WHY she abused me and the abuse didn't endure bc people turned a blind eye or didn't care due to my age/gender. my mom is a mean person. she abused me because she's mean and she went to great efforts to obscure what our home life was like exactly bc she knew how people would feel about it. i was deliberately isolated because she was mean. not bc of our socioeconomic dynamic(s). tbh.

[dead-in-the-pool]

(ooc: speaking of cassandra it was extremely bold of deadpool and wolverine to hire a nonbinary actor to play a strikingly nonbinary-coded character in a movie that's already pushing the envelope on mainstream queerness, and then proceed to put them front and center on half the press junkets. god bless america and the outsiders who save it)