#I do like being able to pick and choose out of the trivia to form my own personal canon tho

[voidartisan]

Why is it that I must always become most invested in the series with insane amounts of lore and trivia that may or may not be canon depending purely on who you talk to

[patchworkpuzzle]

authors note: this is my submission to Emme’s Mental Health Awareness Collab and like most submissions to this collab this came from a very personal place for me, how I struggle with the aspects within it though nothing graphic or severe. I know that @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten created a wonderful mental health resource list which I encourage you all to take a look.

wordcount: 1.9k

paring: Sero x F!Reader (there is only two mentions of female pronouns, as its from a deep place in my heart but I did try to keep it a gender nutral as I could)

warnings: self doubt, self deprecation. Though it is pretty tame, and has fluff, again please be careful when reading this. 

Also, just a reminder to please not interact with my blog if you are under 18 years oh age.

You didn’t know why.

You didn’t know why Sero Hanta, the hero Cellophane, would ever be interested in you. Someone who wasn’t a hero, or anyone of real importance.  You just worked a normal office job at the Hero Agency he also worked out, that’s how you met after all.

You weren’t an up and coming fresh faced new hero or side kick, you were just someone who filed paperwork and arranged meetings. The sidekick, to the sidekick, of the sidekicks, as it were. Nothing extraordinary about you, in fact you found yourself as nothing but ordinary.

Extraordinarily average, as you like to put it.

And yet, he still saw something.

It was hard to notice at first, a top hero just stopping by to ask you to file something for him to then ask if you were new. But then it got more noticeable, with them continuing to stop by to ask questions and have you file things that weren’t even in your department, trying to find any excuse to see you. To finally just coming out with the truth and asking you on a date.

To say you were shocked when he asked was an understatement. You could feel your face get so red as you stuttered out a jumble of words that ended up meaning yes. Hiding your face in your hands when he left with a smile and a wink, telling you he’ll ‘pick you up at eight.’

The date was almost too awkward, having you try and come up with interesting facts and stories about yourself and your life, trying to compete with a Pro Hero and all the accomplishments he had. But apparently it wasn’t so awful, cause the next Monday at work he stopped by your desk with some flowers and another proposed date.

Date after date you went with him. After a few months he wanted to become official, proclaiming not long after you agreed on a live television interview that he was a ‘happily taken man now’. Though it filled you heart with warmth being so doted on, it made you feel guilty. Made you think that these kinds of affections should be placed on someone more worthy.

Someone who had a more outgoing personality, who didn’t get shy and flustered easily. Or have a short fuse in their social battery, making them want to go home earlier than he may want to. Someone that could match up with him and keep up, not slow him down.

Someone who was more physically attractive, who didn’t look in the mirror and see barely there muscles that were always covered in some way. And who could turn the heads of people when walking by as easily as he could. Someone who could be just as beautiful as the Pro Hero looked all the time, with his perfect smile and dazzling eyes, who could take their shirt off without having to worry if their partner would still find them attractive.

Someone who could do all sorts of amazing things, all sorts of cool hobbies and talents to share and teach. Not being the boring person who started and stopped things all the time, who had no real interests in something for long; whose most notable skill was knowing a bunch of useless facts. Good for a trivia night, but not exactly a good comparison to that of your boyfriend. A man who was filled with many abilities and talents he garnered over the years; both physical and crafty.

He seemed to be able to do so much, and you paled in comparison ever single time.

~

Sero Hanta didn’t know what he did to deserve you.

He was never the strongest person, or the smartest, or had the coolest and flashiest quirk. To him, he was nothing more than just your average guy trying to become a hero and help people. The underdog constantly punching up, and somehow managed to break through.

He was a decent hero; he would never say otherwise. He always worked so hard and tirelessly to help people, sacrificing so much to get the job done. From sleepless nights, to his body breaking, and his mind almost following suit at times, that he felt he more than deserved the spot he got on the hero rankings.

But at times he couldn’t help but compare himself to his friends. People who more than deserved their spots and fame but always proving that he was lacking in some way or form, though it was always unintentionally. They always celebrated his success and praised him for his hard work, but Sero always felt less than when standing next to his friends.

They were always able to get the press to notice their hard work, even if Sero did just as much. Always able to get fans to interact with them, having them compliment them constantly over this, that, and the other while Sero found that a dedicated Cellophane fan was few and far between. And when they did come up to him, they easily turned their attentions to his friends once they showed up.

He never minded. He did this job because he wanted to help people, and he was good at it. There was nothing more he could ask for. But he couldn’t help but admit he got a little envious at times, or that his smile tended to be forced for the cameras.

He just wanted to be seen.

And then he met you. A cute little office worker whose eyes sparkled so brightly as they excitedly exclaimed that they were so happy to meet him, and that they’ll do there best to make sure everything was done right for him; before blushing and apologizing. It made Sero’s heart skip a beat, to be seen the way you saw him then.

It was probably why he kept coming back to your desk and asking you favours and questions. He just wanted to see your eyes light up when you saw him, to be seen as someone as amazing as the other top heroes around him. And he couldn’t lie that he found you beautiful, in that soft gentle way that would make him want to gaze at your face to see all the expressions it could make.

You were magnetic to him, in the delicate sense. You didn’t stand out in the way plenty of others around him would, you almost blended into the crowd. Almost. But you held this kind and sweet aura around you, one that always felt safe and reassuring, and he couldn’t help but be pulled tighter and tighter into it.

Finally, he found the courage to ask you on a date. Overcome with joy when you said yes but trying to play if off cool to not embarrass himself. And the date was wonderful, he loved learning all the little things that made you who you are.

He couldn’t help but ask for another, and another, and another, you were an addiction to him, and he couldn’t get enough. He thought you were so lovely in every single way. He wanted to keep you for himself, for as long as time would allow him.

He just wished he was everything you thought he was.

But Sero Hanta knew he wasn’t. He wasn’t as strong, or capable, or talented, or all the other amazing things you claimed he was. Just an average man trying his best to pull an incredible weight, trying not to be overlooked, to try and be seen.

And you were just a woman, working a thankless 9 to 5 job, trying to keep up with the expectations of those around you. Pulling yourself in so many directions to try and please everyone. Never seeing yourself in the light you should, never realizing all the wonderful things you were.

And yet, without fail, you both would always choose the other.

Like puzzle pieces you fit.

Despite the flaws, the cracks, and the broken pieces you both saw in yourself, the other would see something more. They would see a mosaic, something beautiful and worth wanting to be apart of.

And despite the troubles that popped up, the demons that would tell lies of not being enough, the self doubt of years of not being seen and treated as kindly as one hoped and dreamed for, it all amounted to nothing more than dust that would float away in the wind when you looked at him and he at you.

You both weren’t fixed. Love was something that was strong but fickle if not properly tended, and it could not fix years of trauma and disbelief. But it helped. And the little reminders it gave helped garner a beautiful bud that would someday bloom stunning and bright.

There just needed to be reminders.

And reassurance.

And patience.

You would always tell him, whenever you could, that he was your favourite hero. That his quirk was something to admire, despite the things he and other might say. How all his training made him so strong whenever he would lift something you couldn’t, or open something small like a jar. That whenever he told you he knew some fact you brought up that he was smarter than he gave himself credit for. That all the little things he did, like take you in his arms to gently sway you both whenever he wanted, made you feel so warm and had your heart fill with a soft joy and made you feel wanted; like you had always hoped to be.

And he would always tell you how he loved spending nights curled up with you doing nothing, as he preferred doing that than going out all the time. How soft your body was, how wonderful it was to hold; and how he always felt like a nervous teenager again when he was intimate with you, like it was his first time all over again. He loved that you knew all sorts of little facts, no topic or subject free from your endless knowledge; and how he loved and felt proud calling you ‘his girl’ whenever a trivia game night with friends was won by you, yet again. And most importantly, he loved your gentleness. He loved how you would look at him, and only him, with such love in your eyes it made him feel like the most important man in the world; finally, being seen like he always wanted to be.

Though it wasn’t perfect. There were times where you would hide away from him, cry yourself to sleep some nights when your self doubt got too strong and the demons in your head telling you that you weren’t good enough. And times where he would distance himself from you, to not want to burden your further with his problems, and not wanting to hold you back in any capacity in case someone better than him came along.

But it was enough.

The good days always outnumbered the bad. And when the bad days came it just proved to the other how deeply you cared for the other’s happiness. How much you both truly loved the other, flaws and all.

At the end of the day, you would always choose him, every single time.

And Sero Hanta would always choose you.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Victor’s Qixi Event (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for an event which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

Victor’s Qixi date: here (translated by @lucienism)

[ Chapter 1 ]

At night, the stalls in the temple fair light up one by one, and what greets the eyes is a galaxy on earth. 

The “stars” illuminate every dazzling stall, and also shroud certain corners. 

In an inconspicuous corner, a fortune-teller is reading my fortune. 

Fortune-teller: Miss, looking at your face, have you met with some twists and turns recently?

MC: I have...

Fortune-teller: Do you have trouble sleeping too? 

MC: You’re right!

Fortune-teller: Your complexion looks quite terrible, and it feels like a bad omen.

MC: W-what kind of bad omen? 

Fortune-teller: Did you provoke an important fiend?

Looking at the fortune-teller’s exaggerated expression, I nervously recollect what happened. 

If he’s referring to someone “important” recently, that could only be--

??: Why aren’t you done yet? 

The fortune-teller and I whip our heads towards the source of the voice. In the next second, we speak in unison.

MC: What are you doing here? 

Fortune-teller: That’s him!

The three of us are left dumbfounded. I cast a glance at Victor’s unhappy face, then hurriedly explain to the fortune-teller:

MC: Taoist priest, you must be mistaken. This is my... friend, and he’s very good-natured. 

The fortune-teller looks Victor up and down, and it seems like he’s unconvinced by what I said. 

Fortune-teller: Mm... in short, be more careful, Miss. 

Just when I’m about to bid farewell to the fortune-teller, he suddenly calls me, and speaks. 

Fortune-teller: There are a lot of people at the temple fair. Be careful not to walk down the wrong path. 

Hearing the fortune-teller’s worlds, I feel a sudden tightening in my chest. 

Before I can ask him a question, Victor takes my hand in his naturally, and the warmth distinctive to him covers my palm. 

Victor: You won’t walk down the wrong path. 

The faraway lights only illuminate his outline, and I can’t tell for sure if he's smiling. He applies some pressure on my hand, then pulls me closer to his side. 

Victor: Let’s go.

-

[ Chapter 2 ] 

MC: This is my favourite event every year - the “strange-tasting basket”!

Pulling Victor, we reach a stall. Quite a number of people have been so tormented by the strange-tasting items that their faces have turned twisted.

MC: The ribbon biscuits in every basket look the same, but they have different flavours. Out of all the ribbon biscuits, only one is sweet. 

While I stare at the line of baskets and hesitate, Victor’s voice sounds in my ear.

Victor: Aren’t they all the same? Why do you need such a long time to pick?

MC: They aren’t the same! I need to pick that unique biscuit.

Victor: You can’t tell taste just by using your eyes. 

For a moment, I’m unable to retort. After hesitating a little longer, I hold up a basket.

MC: I shall begin! Ooh... it’s so salty...

I furrow my brows and manage to swallow it with difficulty. When I lift my eyes, I see Victor’s unsuppressed smile. 

MC: Hmph, don’t celebrate so early. It’s your turn!

Victor arches his brows and looks at the basket in my hand, then picks one to eat. 

MC: How is it? 

Victor: ...it’s bitter.

MC: Hahahaha, looks like this game is very fair. 

We continue eating the biscuits in succession. If they aren’t sour, they’d be spicy. The strange tastes accumulate, and my tongue is about to lose all feeling. 

MC: There are three biscuits left... Victor, which one do you think I should pick?

Victor: There’s no point if other people choose for you.

MC: But I’ve never picked the sweet biscuit for several years, so I don’t have faith in my own luck.

Victor: Isn’t this year different?

Looking at the slight curve on his lips, I smile as well. 

This year is truly different - I have him with me. I decide to close my eyes, and pick a biscuit blindly from the basket and place it into my mouth. 

MC: It’s sweet! I really picked it!

Victor: Mm, amazing. 

Victor pulls me and we leave the stall. Our pace is a little fast, but it doesn’t bother me because I’m still immersed in the joy of picking the special ribbon biscuit. 

After walking a short distance, I can faintly hear a little girl exclaiming happily from behind me. 

Little girl: It’s sweet! I picked the sweet ribbon biscuit!

MC: Eh? 

I subconsciously look at Victor, but he looks the same as always, as though he didn’t hear the sound from behind us. 

Victor: There seems to be a performance about to begin in front. 

The sweetness at the tip of my tongue has yet to dissipate. I lower my head and smile secretly. 

Even though he isn’t the vendor who prepared that sweet ribbon biscuit, the sweetness he has given me is also special.

There are people beating gongs in front. I brisk walk to keep up with Victor’s pace, and excitedly tell him about street performances. 

-

[ Chapter 3 ]

Stepping out of the lively temple fair, what greets my eyes is a wide clearing. There are lit-up lanterns floating on a small, slow-moving river.

Victor and I sit at a nearby teahouse to rest, and we gaze out of the window to look at the view.

MC: Legend tells of the reunion between Cowherd and the Weaver Girl. People are afraid Cowherd wouldn’t be able to see the magpie bridge in the night, so they light lanterns on the river so he can successfully reunite with the Weaver Girl. Perhaps people yearn for these kinds of feelings, so they can’t bear to see any obstructions separating them. 

Victor: Do you yearn for it too? 

MC: Of course. I used to release a lantern every year. 

Victor: Then why aren’t you releasing one this year? 

I hold the tea cup in my hands, sneaking a glance at him. 

MC: Because... because there are too many people releasing lanterns this year, so it's sufficient to make the magpie bridge visible. I’m also uncertain if the gods above can cope with so many wishes being squeezed together. 

Victor doesn’t respond. After a moment, a surprised cry floats from outside the window. 

Following the sound, I turn my head to look. Out of nowhere, great waves appear from the peaceful river, straightening the lanterns floating on the river into a snaking trail.

It’s reminiscent of a path leading to a goal, shining in the night. 

MC: Wow... how did that happen? 

Victor: No one has ever witnessed how a magpie bridge looks. But since it’s a path, the important thing is that it must be easy to walk on.

I turn my head back to him, my heart filled to the brim with warmth. I hold up my tea cup, and clink it gently against him. 

Victor: What are you doing?

MC: Replacing wine with tea, this is to thank you for paving a path for the lovers!

Victor looks at me, then averts his gaze unnaturally. 

Victor: I just find that having someone to journey together with isn’t bad.

-

[ Chapter 4 ]

As the night grows darker, more and more people rest near the riverside. The faint din finally allows me to return to my senses from my earlier restless emotions. 

Next to me, Victor remains expressionless, making it impossible to guess his emotions.

MC: Victor, are you satisfied with this festival? 

Victor: It’s noisy, but it’s still interesting. 

MC: There are many more festivals in the mortal world. Some are noisy like this one, and some are quietly and peacefully spent at home. If you’re interested, we can try them all once. 

Victor arches his eyebrows. 

Victor: At home? 

MC: Mm... it means spending it with family or an important person!

With my face red, I offer an explanation. Suddenly, another noise interrupts me. 

??: This is too difficult. Dad, you have to help me!

Not too far off, the sound of a child asking for help drifts towards us. When we turn around, we see a a little boy sitting in his parents’ arms, at a loss with what to do with the object in his hands. 

MC: It’s a Luban Lock. When I was young, my father would often play it with me too. Even though it’s just a few small wooden pieces, it’s very difficult to both fix it or take it apart.

[Trivia] A Luban Lock (“鲁班锁”) is a traditional wooden cube puzzle

Victor: It’s only when the pieces hold each other up can they be stable. That’s why it’s called a “Lock”.

We secretly take another look. The little boy’s parents can’t resist his pleading glance, and help him.

With three minds working together, they fix the Luban Lock very quickly. The wooden pieces are formed into an exquisite Luban Lock, mutually supporting each other, and firmly interlocked. 

Seeing the family with happy expressions adorning their faces, I can’t help but smile along with them. 

MC: That’s really nice. 

My fingertips are suddenly wrapped in warmth. I turn back and see Victor entwining our fingers together. 

MC: Victor...? 

Victor: We can spend subsequent festivals together. But a condition is that you have to stick close to me, and you’re not allowed to run all over the place. 

I look into his deep eyes, and hook onto his fingers tightly. 

No matter what weight we face in the future, as long as we support each other along our journey, I will definitely share it with him. 

[kururu418]

Asterope

Name: Asterope 

Age: Ageless (Appears 17) 

Gender: Female

Pantheon: Greek

Appearance: A young woman with long spiky bleach blonde hair, yellow eyes, fair skin, and often had small sparks going off around her body. She wears a wreath with a blue lightning bolt design on her head, a toga, sandals, and a often has a scarf made of clouds around her arms and shoulders that will change depending on her mood.     

Background: Asterope is the youngest among Zeus countless children, and seems to be growing into the most powerful. From a young age she showed great potential, displaying all of her father’s abilities and powers. She is the only one among her siblings able to properly wield her fathers famed weapons, Thunder and Lightning. Everyone thought that with her father stepping down at the leader of Olympus, and the previous Hera gone, she was a sure pick to become the new head of the Pantheon. 

Unfortunately for her, after the current Hera fell to Aku and was brought back as a goddess, Oberon supported her claim as leader instead, believing that she (and her father) were too arrogant and needed to be humbled. While this irked her, she didn’t put up much of a fuss, instead choosing to bide her time until she could take control and prove to everyone who the rightful ruler of Olympus should be. 

When she hears about Typhon’s son being on Earth, she hoped it would lead to Hera’s downfall. But after her father manages to finesse an agreement with Oberon and puts a hit on him, she sees a much simpler opportunity. She intends to take the young titans head, and then use the favor from Oberon to have Hera removed and take her rightful place as the new leader of the Greek Pantheon.     

Personality: Asterope is usually very confident, laid back, and haughty. With her being the most powerful offspring of one of the most powerful gods on Earth, she has little to fear and tends to look down on those around her. She believes that it is her divine right to lead, act, and do as she pleases. And she is more than willing to casually smite down anyone who would defy her. 

She tends to spend most of her time lounging around and being waited on by her servants. Occasionally she will find ways to kill her boredom, whether it be humiliating her servants or hunting beasts (or people). She is somewhat sadistic, preferring to toy with her enemies before finishing them off just to show them how much more superior she is to them. If she gets too bored she’s not beyond falling asleep in the middle of a fight, both to pass time and rub salt in the wound to her opponents. She becomes angry when someone doesn’t play along with her games, and equally so when her prey doesn’t break quickly enough. 

She has a very black and white view about her status and position. That she’s the strongest and most capable, and therefore the best suited to rule. If anyone aside from those she considered her betters (her father, Oberon, etc) disagrees, they’re wrong by default. She believes that as a goddess she shouldn’t be questioned or challenged, and expects her servants to follow orders without delay, unless they want to face her divine punishment.  

Powers and Abilities: As the daughter of Zeus, Asterope is able to control and manipulate thunder, lightning, wind, and rain. She typically only uses the first two in combat, but will use the others to alter the terrain to her advantage. Typically she will call down lighting to to strike whoever is opposing her (she typically tones her power back so she can see how many times she can strike them before killing them) 

She uses thunder to blast enemies, not only hitting them with devastating force, but affecting their hearing as well. She uses wind to boost fly and boost herself, and rain to allow her lightning to affect more of the area around her. When she gets serious, she will charge herself with lightning, increasing her speed, power, and durability. 

She can summon clouds around the battlefield to strike her enemies with lightening or rain down or boom thunder at them. But her most threatening ability is her power to turn into lightning itself, moving at blinding speed and too fast for most to even keep up. While she can’t properly use her other abilities in this form, she is able to move through people, usually striking them in the heart for a killing blow.  

Relationships (if any): 

Zeus: Her father felt immediate pride at how strong his daughter was from birth, and spoiled her every chance she got. He constantly told her how she was “A child worthy to be his true heir”. He is one of the only people who she’ll listen to or heed advice from, and genuinely respects and cares for him. She intends to do his name justice among the realms of the gods by usurping Hera and reminding everyone their line is truly in charge.    

Hera: She has a strong dislike for Hera, believing that someone who once had “The stench of mortality” is unfit to lead gods like her. While she doesn’t directly go against her rules, she openly speaks out and against her whenever they’re among the other gods. Once she takes control of the Pantheon, she intends to give her a lower ranking position to reflect her “true status”.

Servants: She treats most of her servants as just that, servants. But a select few, the ones who are the strongest among them and perform her bidding, warrant her respect and are the closest thing she has to friends. She considered them hers, and is personality insulted when someone strikes them down. 

Brontes: Her giant pet eagle who is often seen lounging around with her. She pampers it and treats it better than most people. It’s immortal and a divine beast. It was hatched and mothered from the same eagle that ate the liver of Prometheus.    

   Quotes: 

Asterope smiled as she walked past Hera, who didn’t look at all pleased. “Enjoy your precious last few hours as the Supreme Goddess of this Pantheon Hera. Once they're over, I assure you I will be making some long needed changes…”  

~~~~

“I’m not sure you quite understand how to use these words. I’m a god, and the greatest among my pantheons at that. Barring my father and Oberon himself, there are none who have the right to question my might,” she said, pointing towards her opponents. “Know your place mortal, and respect mine. Or be stuck down like the ant you are.”

~~~~   

“My, aren’t you a sturdy one. But that’s alright. I do so love playing with my prey. I wonder just how many strikes it will take to fell you,” she said, raising her hand up and pointing her finger in the air. The clouds darkened, and sparks could be seen crackling through the air. “Don’t give out on me too quickly.” 

~~~~

Trivia: Asterope’s personality is partly based off of Enel from One Piece.  

One of the major antagonist I have planned for the next arc! A daughter of Zeus! Like the other contest I thought it’d be a good idea to show a example of a bio and... I just wanted to drop a sneak peak. Hope you guys enjoy!

[regrettablewritings]

I really love all your Bruce Wayne writings, so i'd like to request numbers 7, 17, 18, 29 for him.

Aaawww! Thank you so much!!! Stuff’s below the cut!

7. What do they get up to on a night out?: Given that Bruce is the closest thing Gotham has to royalty, there’s only so much the two of you can get into without a few pitfalls. While Bruce isn’t against giving back to the community by supporting small businesses, he can’t always just march into the local greasy spoon -- no matter how much he wants to. He used to be able to do that in his youth but sadly, expectations became a bit heavier as he got older. Plus, given that he has to play the part of the owner of a billion-dollar corporation in addition to moonlighting as a local vigilante, date nights aren’t exactly a thing that can just spontaneously happen.

But when they happen, Bruce does whatever he can to make it count. Sure, dinner at the finest restaurants in Gotham or Metropolis is a given. Yes, a night out at the Metropolis Ballet is a nice treat. There are even occasions you’re able to convince Bruce to accompany you to the local donut hub for artisan baked goods. But the truth of the matter is that even when these things manage to get off the ground, there will often be a risk of watchers. Paparazzi. People sneaking photos and videos on their phones. It’s an absolute headache.

During which cases, the con of Bruce’s fame and wealth can also be used to your advantage.

It’s amazing what strings can be pulled just to get a night at the Gotham City Museum of Natural History to yourselves, for example.

It’s absolutely freeing: Security and management allows you both to freely roam the grounds, wandering from exhibit to exhibit. You’re free to dress as you like, talk without any airs that might’ve been posed in the public face. Jokes can be shared, absurd trivia dispensed, and you needn’t worry about how your displays of affection could be interpreted and broken down by the local tabloids and media. (Though let’s be real, you’ll be too busy holding hands because who wants to kiss when there’s model towns to look at?!)

Nights like these don’t happen very often. Not because Bruce doesn’t want to do them, but because of time. And because the both of you don’t want the magic to die off too quickly. Normally, ventures like this are reserved for when you need a pick-me-up from your favorite exhibit, or when a traveling exhibition makes the museum its temporary home. But you don’t mind: Every time is magical. (Plus, every time you go, Bruce lets you go nuts in the gift shop.)

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?: While the immediate expectation would be that Bruce takes the machine back to the night his parents died in order to thwart the attack, that’s actually . . . not likely. He may consider going back to stopping Robin from dying, but even that falls flat. The reasons are both the same: Time is a very fragile thing. Even if a bullet were mere centimeters away, something could change for the worst down the line. He barely trusts Barry to rewrite timelines, and that’s Barry’s actual thing!

As tempted as Bruce would be the entire while to undo everything, to undo something that would change everything, he just can’t bring himself to do it. It’s too risky.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?: Bruce has had many girlfriends in the past. And just about every one of them expected the same things: Bags, dresses, grand gestures to show just how far he was willing to go to earn their forgiveness (even if they were in the wrong). It became to frequent that towards the end of certain relationships, he just couldn’t be bothered anymore and would just send out assistants to do it. It had become a chore, a new way of exhausting him and making him feel less like a boyfriend who was wanted and more like a piggy bank that was tolerated. He hadn’t meant to lump you in with the lot, but it had become nearly second nature to him. In hindsight, of course, this was not the best way to go about things after your first fight. You’d never chased after his wealth after all, why start now? Nevertheless, he found himself acquiring gifts for you: Dresses in your favorite color, jewelry made form your favorite minerals, at least two more Switches so you could have even more Animal Crossing (“That’s how that works, right?” “Master Bruce, please -- ”). But he found himself at a loss when, even after presenting you with the bounty, you still didn’t seem to be happy, nor voice your forgiveness. Instead, you sighed deeply. “Bruce . . . Thank you. I appreciate the gesture. I really do. But can we please just . . . talk?” He blinked. That . . . wasn’t what he’d been expecting. Of course, it was an adjustment: He had to avoid the impulse to go about grabbing things he thought you’d like; and then there was the fact that if you knew you were wrong, you’d eventually come to him with an apology. That just wasn’t a thing Bruce was used to in his date mates. And as painful as it could be to open up in some respects, he does appreciate it after the fact to some degree. It forces you both to confront your faults and face maturer ways of dealing with the problem. From it, you can grow together as a couple, into a relationship Bruce actually feels is good for him.

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?: For Bruce, it’s when you prove to him more and more that maybe not everything in Gotham has been corrupted. Bruce loves his city but he would be lying if he said it was the most embracing in the country. His parents saw potential in Gotham before their untimely ends, ans they took special care to help Bruce see it for himself. But as time went on, things got harsher. Harder. And in order to combat it, Bruce himself got harsher. Harder.

Maybe he didn’t need to, but that’s what he became convinced he needed to do. As a result, as he grew older, more cynical. Even when he wasn’t going about in a bat suit, he was still surrounded by less-than-pleasant company: Fair weather friends, sugar babies, people who wanted something from him. Nobody really saw him as a person after a while so much as they did something to siphon time, energy, and money out of. And it drained him of his patience, happiness, and hope. But then you came along. And you were like a flower blooming out of the dim, grey cracked Gotham City sidewalk: You were bright, you were patient, you didn’t want anything from him. But when you wanted his time, it was so you could get to know one another or talk. When you wanted his energy, it was so the two of you could go check out a strange, new exhibit at the aquarium or so he could help you run errands without getting bored. And the only thing you wanted with his money was for him to just pay for his own half of whatever meal you two had had while on a date.

You didn’t fetishize him or laugh at him or with him for your own benefit. You weren’t afraid to tell him when he was being too stiff or tell him that you needed to “eat the rich.” He appreciated that kind of honesty. But most of all, he appreciated that you made him feel . . . seen. He feels like he’s actually present now. Seen. Felt. Loved. And he wants you to feel that way, too.

The good news is, this sort of give-and-take is almost symbiotic in a sense: You making him feel seen and loved makes him want to open up to you even more. And when he does that, you can’t help but love what you’re seeing. Bruce has spent so much of his life putting on facades, be it to present himself as a playboy to the unassuming, or to be a stuff, rigid businessman so nobody would suspect debatable lunacy, or whatever’s going on with the whole Batman situation. So when he chooses you to be one of the few people in his life he wants to open up to, you can’t hep but welcome what he gives with open arms and an supportive mind.

When he smiles, it’s not the same, rehearsed grin he gives at press conferences; when he puts his heart into something, it’s not for the benefit of the company; when he laughs, it’s husky and tinged with genuine mirth and not canned and stale. He doesn’t talk to you like there’s a business proposal on the line because he actually likes talking with you. It’s a sign of trust and an effort being made on his part to communicate more, and you can’t help but be excited for what his true self will reveal next!

(Also, when he actually wears the Scrooge McDuck cuff links you got him as a joke, you know love is real.)

Thank you for asking!!!

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Adora might be autistic too

Alright, most people in the SPOP fandom agree that Entrapta is autistic, as her coding is extremely obvious. However, some of us also believe that our beloved protagonist Adora is on the spectrum as well. She comes off as quite the aspie, and while Asperger’s is no longer a diagnosis in the DSM-V (but is in other manuals), it falls under the blanket diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and its diagnostic criteria is still useful in analyzing people for signs of the disorder. In analyzing Adora’s character I will refer somewhat to both disorders, with the understanding that Asperger’s is a specific manifestation of ASD.

I would like to preface this by saying this is a headcanon and people are free to disagree with me. Some of these characteristics I’m going to bring up could also manifest because of her very sheltered upbringing in a cult-like atmosphere or mental illnesses such as anxiety and complex PTSD (both of which she arguably has). I am autistic myself, so obviously I am inclined to interpret these symptoms this way, but to each their own. It’s also worth noting that Adora has a lot of symptoms that cross over with AD(H)D, a cousin disorder to ASD, and it’s totally possible she has both.

In any case, there is now enough evidence hinting at Adora’s neurodivergence (especially now that the Rebel Princess Guide has been released) that I feel the need to explain this theory in detail instead of just occasionally mentioning it. So here goes...

She’s naive/easily manipulated

This one doesn’t really need explaining, we’ve all seen it. Adora assumes people are telling the truth because why would anyone lie to her? That is such a relatable spectrum feel. She was handily brainwashed by Shadow Weaver in the Horde, while some of the others didn’t seem to swallow the propaganda so easily. This is of course partly because of the special attention and affection Adora got from Shadow Weaver, but she had to be vulnerable to manipulation in the first place for it to work.

Later, she trusts Huntara easily in the Crimson Waste despite Bow and Glimmer’s warnings about her questionable character. Adora happily follows her into a trap even once Bow and Glimmer tell her they're going the wrong way, reasoning it’s probably a shortcut rather than reevaluating her misplaced trust. This can be partly explained by how she‘s gay af for Huntara, but still.

(Interestingly, the episode cuts straight from this moment to the obviously autistic Entrapta going against her own friend's advice and refusing to give up on the portal machine despite the obvious warning sign of Hordak’s violent dismissal. Parallels, much?)

Her difficulty understanding other points of view

A lot of Adora’s conflict with Catra is predicated on misunderstandings, and she has a hard time understanding the effects her actions have on other people, Catra in particular. For instance, she misunderstands Catra talking about ruling the Horde together as being purely about power, while Catra’s actual goals are safety and Adora’s companionship. That miscommunication is not just Adora’s fault, but it illustrates that she has difficulty understanding other people’s needs and motives without being explicitly told.

This isn’t just a problem with Catra, either. In general Adora has a difficult time understanding other’s motives and feelings. For instance, she doesn’t understand Glimmer’s insecurity over Bow’s friendship with Perfuma at Princess Prom, and she can’t fathom why Entrapta would choose to work for an evil faction, going so far as to assume she must have been brainwashed into it. This is because, just like with Catra, she doesn’t understand that some people’s priorities are not the same as hers.

Autistic kids tend to reach developmental milestones at different times than neurotypicals, sometimes being way ahead and other times falling behind. One such marker that is usually slower to develop and often stays impaired is theory of mind, our ability to a) understand that other people have different perspectives and b) understand those perspectives. Adora’s difficulties being able to put herself in someone else’s shoes definitely lines up with this symptom.

She’s clumsy

For someone so athletic, Adora sure lacks coordination. This is a commonly cited symptom of people with Asperger’s, though it shows up in people with other forms of ASD too. In general, autistic people often have difficulty with fine and/or gross motor skills, and this can lead to being accident and injury prone. According to Catra in 3x05, Adora bumps her head a lot. That may have just been a callback to 1x01, but either way clumsiness has been part of her characterization since the beginning, one of her many loveable, adorkable qualities.

Her lack of social and self awareness

Adora can be painfully oblivious to her own inappropriate behavior. There’s several examples of this throughout the series, one of the more costly ones coming at Princess Prom. Shocked by Frosta’s youth, Adora fails to register how maybe this (in front of Frosta, with all eyes on her) is not the time to remark on it. She immediately realizes this was the wrong thing to say (or at least not something she should shout), but that small delay causes both her and Glimmer a lot of embarrassment.

Part of the issue here is that she loses control of her volume, which in itself is a common problem for those of us on the spectrum. This isn’t the only time we see her have this problem, either, and it’s amplified (tee hee) when she’s drunk/infected.

More generally, one of the funniest examples of Adora’s poor social awareness comes when she barges into Huntara’s flirtation with the bartender in the Crimson Waste. She’s so focused on her task of recruiting Huntara that it doesn’t even occur to her that this is an intimate moment and intruding would be rude.

In the Rebel Princess Guide Adora also says she wishes Queen Angella would let her make some adjustments to the uniforms of the Bright Moon guards, which implies she tried to make these suggestions already. Maybe she figured She-Ra could suggest anything, but as both a newcomer and a royal subject that’s a bit of a faux pas. Chances are, that went right over Adora’s head.

She can’t read a room to save her life (literally)

This is another, more specific aspect of social awareness. Adora has difficulty picking up on the implicit rules (social norms) when she enters unfamiliar situations, and has a tendency to step on toes because of it. She also doesn’t understand when her friends try to nonverbally communicate what she’s doing wrong, and nonverbal communication deficits and problems with social awareness and insight are two major symptoms of ASD. One specifically listed example is “difficulties adjusting behavior to suit social contexts”, including:

Lack of response to contextual cues (e.g. social cues from others indicating a change in behavior is implicitly requested)

Unaware of social conventions/appropriate social behavior; asks socially inappropriate questions or makes socially inappropriate statements

Here’s a couple specific example of times where Adora misses or misunderstands nonverbal cues to change her behavior:

At her first Rebellion meeting she doesn’t realize that maybe she shouldn’t sit in the special-looking chair, and doesn’t clue in that that’s why everyone is freaking out.

In the Crimson Waste, Glimmer responds to the growling bar patrons surrounding them by suggesting that maybe these aren’t the kind of people they should be asking for help, but Adora persists. She jumps up on the bar and makes a speech trying to get directions (which is socially inappropriate for the context as well as dangerous), somehow missing all the scowls from the patrons as well as Bow and Glimmer’s wild gesturing.

Panic over unfamiliar social situations

Adora’s anxiety about going to Princess Prom could be attributed to many things, not just a spectrum disorder. Her obvious anxiety, for one, though to be fair there’s a high comorbidity between the two disorders. In any case, it seems the unfamiliarity of the situation is a sticking point for Adora in particular, while Bow and Glimmer are nothing but excited for their first ball.

Adora’s anxiety seems to stem mostly from being overwhelmed by the prospect of entering a new social situation with a whole bunch of unfamiliar rules to remember. She’s still learning behavioral norms outside of the Horde, and this is a huge jump up in terms of difficulty for her fledgling social skills.

To cope with her stress she goes overboard trying to prepare by making a conspiracy board of sorts, flash cards, and an obstacle course. And at the ball itself, it seems like she’s even rehearsed how to behave.

This probably isn’t only relatable to autistics, but it’s very relatable to us. Creating and rehearsing behavioral scripts is a common strategy to avoid embarrassing ourselves in public. Unfortunately, as we saw above, this works for about five seconds before Adora botches the whole thing by commenting on Frosta’s age.

Extreme stress over details

In general, Adora is a very anxious, perfectionistic person who hyperfixates on details, a very autistic trait. As mentioned above, this is wonderfully illustrated by her overpreparation for Princess Prom. She’s broken down the overwhelming list of rules in the invite into categories to make it more manageable, gone into detail categorizing people’s relationships to each other, and learned trivia about the guests in order to feel more prepared. Yet, somehow she missed the important fact that the hostess is only eleven years old.

Unfortunately this hangup doen’t only affect her, but also her friends and allies. The overarching theme in “Roll With It” is how debilitating Adora’s anxiety and perfectionism can be. Her eye for detail and ability to see flaws in plans is actually very valuable, but she gets so hung up on every possible thing that could go wrong that she can’t accept imperfect solutions with calculated risks.

Her propensity to be overwhelmed by too much information (like with the Princess Prom invite) shows up here too. Adora grows more and more frustrated and overwhelmed as more princesses join the planning session, adding more variables to deal with and more people to manage. She begins lashing out and shooting down every possible solution that doesn’t satisfy her need for perfection immediately. Her behavior looks like it may be headed for a meltdown until it culminates in an epic rant revealing all her anxiety and how it ties into her insecurities about her own imperfection.

Thankfully her friends are able to reassure her that she has support and doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s an ongoing battle, one we already saw her struggle with in “Flowers for She-Ra” and “The Battle of Bright Moon”. It’s a strong tenet of Adora’s personality that is proving difficult to shake.

What she misses about the Horde

The recently published Rebel Princess Guide contains a list by Adora of things she misses about the Horde, and this list screams neurodivergent. I’ll go through it point by point, since there’s a lot to unpack here.

THINGS I MISS ABOUT THE HORDE

1. I miss the rigid schedule. It never changed, and I always knew what to expect.

Ritualistic behavior and an insistence on sameness are often seen in individuals with ASD. In fact, it’s a major symptom. Many of us have diifficulty adjusting to changing schedules, changes in diet, or even minor changes in our environment (such as placement of objects, boy do I have stories there). We need warning when things are going to change, and even if we know it’s coming it’s still a struggle to adjust.

2. I miss the constant sound of machines and whirring. In Bright Moon, there’s always music playing, or people laughing, and birds singing. It’s nice but it makes it hard to focus!

Autistic brains process sensory information differently from neurotypicals, that’s basically our disorder at its core. Over or under reactions to sensory input are common and in fact considered a major symptom, and this entry of Adora’s specifically refers to difficulties with sensory filtering. We have a hard time filtering out information that’s irrelevant to our current task, which makes us easily distractable.

3. Believe it or not, I miss my hard cot in the barracks. My bed in the castle is way too soft!

This ties into both the insistence on sameness and sensory issues.

4. Catra… sometimes.

This isn’t autistic, it’s just gay.

Speaking of which...

She’s gay

Adora's relationship with Catra has always been queer-coded, but any doubts about her sexuality were dispelled in season 3 by the way she fawns over Huntara like a baby gay over her gym teacher. Her obvious queerness might seem unrelated to the topic of autism, but those of us within the community can attest there’s probably just as many queer people among us as there are cishets. It’s so notable that there has been quite a bit of scientific research confirming people with ASD are more likely to be LGBT and gender atypical and exploring the cause of this link.

(This needs no proving at this point, but enjoy these gifs anyway...)

In conclusion

Overall, there’s a lot of hints and circumstantial evidence suggesting Adora could have ASD. Was this the creators’ intent? Hard to say. Adora is the protagonist and one of the most developed characters, so she’s definitely not a cardboard cutout or checklist for ASD symptoms (compare that to Entrapta, a secondary character whose behaviors can often easily be attributed to autism). It’s totally possible the creators just characterized her as naive and awkward and obsessive without realizing the implications of that cluster of traits together.

Regardless of authorial intent, it’s perfectly valid to look at Adora and see representation of the ASD community. The groundwork is there. And if someone else looks and doesn’t see it, or sees something else causing this behavior, that is also fair. No one is forcing anyone to accept this headcanon (or at least they shouldn’t be), but in return please don’t disparage it. Even if she is not autistic Adora is definitely autistic-coded, and we could use some more heros with the disorder, given how we’re mostly relegated to being villains and anti-heroes (not that there’s anything wrong with us filling those roles sometimes, but a little variety would be nice).

Adora is often referred to as a dumbass, but she’s actually quite intelligent, just sometimes slow to understand how she should act and how people feel. Still, she tries her hardest, just as she does with everything else. Adora is heroic and compassionate, even if she sometimes struggles to understand others. When autistic-coded characters are so commonly portrayed as cold and unforgiving, Adora is a sorely needed exception.

[silkylious]

Hi dear. I’m the anon who requested an istp reader earlier and i’m so sorry I completely missed the requests closed sign. Congrats on 400 followers!! Your event is so cute and I’m here to request a matchup! I’m a straight 5’7 girl whose personality type is istp. I have long brown hair and brown eyes. I’m a figure skater who loves to read, write and watch anime. I also like to bake whenever I have time. I’m rather analytical, with my strengths lying in math and science and history as my weakest. My writing style is more poetic, consisting of long sentences, metaphors and personophication. I’m blunt and my humor is dry and witty. However, even though I usually can keep a cool head, I get flustered easily (it’s one of the things I hate most lmao). I generally don’t take BS and my style is minimalist. I prefer to stay in by myself rather than go out with large groups of people. If I had an SO, I would much rather stay in and enjoy each other’s presence than go out on elaborate dates. I have a really low social battery too. My music taste is all over the place, but I love Chase Atlantic and Arctic Monkeys. I’m more of a cat person, though I do love dogs, and I like nature and spending time outside. Hopefully that’s enough information! Thank you so much! - 🧩 anon

Thank you so much for sending this in!! <3 I hope you like your matchup! :3

I ship you with...

general relationship dynamic: 

A match made in heaven or hell depending on who you ask

Similar enough to maintain stability, but different enough to keep things unpredictable and fun

Katsuki appreciates your rational nature, as he himself is extremely pragmatic. That common denominator relives the stress of having to deal with problems caused by emotional misunderstandings 

I can definitely see this dynamic as a slowly building friendship at first

Your tendency to not let anyone walk all over you and keep a calm aura about you immediately attracted him, but simultaneously frustrated him to no visible end

The blatant contrast between your personalities instantaneously made him want to break that collected demeanor of yours. 

All in the name of competition. At least it started out that way.

Battle after battle, bruise after bruise and trail after trail, the more hardships you faced together, the more teasing your remarks became.

What started out as him hurling every curse word known to man in hopes of shattering that nonchalant exterior of yours (and you ultimately ignoring him), slowly but surely turned into both of you exchanging well-crafted remarks.

Your sardonic humor was such a good match for him. Both knocked him off his high horse and left him in complete awe (and affection. Though he’d never admit it) of your quick, sarcastic wit all packaged in a light-hearted tone that didn’t wound his ego (too much).

More often than not, you’d fluster the hell out of him. Not that it was hard to get a reaction out of Bakugo Katsuki to begin with.

Your sharp responses just made him want to see you lose your cool even more. He never wallowed in his embarrassment too long, always too eager to grasp the next opportunity to turn the tables on you.

You bet your ass the first time he saw your composure slip, the bastard basked in it. Laughing to his heart’s content while you indignantly screeched at him to shut up.

He’d never forget that moment; and he made damn sure you wouldn’t either, not hesitating to bring it up whenever he wanted to put you in your place or just to get a rise out of you for the hell of it.

And from there it just doesn’t stop. He’s a quick learner and oddly observant, and he uses both those traits to his full advantage when picking on you. His relentless teasing never ceasing to give him the satisfaction of seeing your disheveled composure.

He also loved the gentle crease in your brows and that adorable pout on your lips whenever he verbally pushes you into a corner but that’s beside the point-

Not that it mattered anyway, you had plenty blackmail material of his less than dignified moments to spare.

Your friendship was easy going, trustworthy, reliable. But neither of you could admit your feelings to each other to save your lives. Much to the dismay of your friends, who had to watch the absolute clownery of you tip-toeing around your feelings in muted agony.

Cue perpetual pining.

Once you finally confess your feelings for each other, I honestly don’t see the relationship shifting much.

You act like really, really close friends who just happen to be affectionate and completely enamored by one another

I see Katsuki as a high energy person. Regardless of where he chooses to focus that energy, he needs external stimulus. More often than not, he directs his abundant energy into training and sparring. But generally, a lot of his excess energy is expelled through social interaction. Whether or not this social interaction is mirthful doesn’t really matter so long as he’s depleting his excessive energy.

Your low social battery might pose a small issue, dealing with Katsuki alone is like dealing with a dozen other less intense individuals. But you can easily work around it through your common interests and hobbies that can stimulate you both without depriving you into mental exhaustion

trivia:

Katsuki loves going on outdoor dates with you. A picnic in a secluded park, hiking, stargazing, camping- you name it

These dates are perfect for you two, combining your love for nature and privacy all the while giving him an activity to expel his stamina

Though he can’t say no a good at home date with you.

I absolutely adore the one headcanon about him being an amazing cook but a horrible baker

With a bit of coaxing on your part, you somehow manage to get him into baking. His skills are fucking abysmal.

He’s also distracting

Every time you try to bake together it almost always ends with both of you covered in flour with like three batches of burnt cookie dough, and childlike grins on your faces

Katsuki doesn’t really mind what the two of you do on dates, so long as he’s spending alone time with you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way

He’s a lost cause you figure. But he'll secretly practice at home, to his mother's dismay. But he doesn't care, it's all worth it in the end as he catches sight of pride and admiration in your eyes the one time he baked you a simple treat for your birthday

He made sure to learn your favorite baked goods, if only as a back up plan when he fucked up and needed to worm his way back into your arms

His curiosity was peaked when you’d told him that you’re a figure skater. So much so that one day he asks (read: demands) that you take him to an ice rink

As you show him one of your choreographies, he’s in a state of silent admiration

Katsuki is extremely kinesthetic, so he could easily pick up on the countless hours of hardwork you’d spent mastering your form, perfecting your footing, building up astounding flexibility to be able to preform and make it seem so effortless

The way your muscles pulled taut and relaxed again from stance to stance, the way small bruises lay proud on your skin as an indictive of all the effort you’d put into this sport all but made him fall in love with you again

When you strike a final pose, looking at him expectantly, noiselessly, he doesn’t say anything. But the star-eyed gaze and gentle smile he gave you spoke louder than any of his crude words ever could.

The cherry red in his eyes every so often melted so softly, it set your heart ablaze each and every time

He ended up reluctantly swallowing his pride and asking you to teach him a couple moves that day

You have study dates. All. The time.

He’s a jack of all trades so history is a no brainer for him. When you ask him to help you with it he begrudgingly complies.

Now whether or not his teaching actually helped is up to your imagination lmfao

I think one of Katsuki’s main love languages is quality time; you don’t even have to be actively helping each other while studying, just your presence around him sedates his mind exceptionally

Seconds tick by on his digital clock, each thirtieth tick he discreetly glances at you to make sure you’re still there, if he’s in the mood he’ll have to touch you in some way or another. Doesn’t even have to be affectionate, just your skin on his is enough to spur a content sigh out of him

when you’re simply reading a book or watching an anime together, he’ll lay his head on your lap without a word, or he’ll sit behind you with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Give it some time and his roughed-up hands will snake their way into your long hair, making a mess out of it, braiding and unbraiding it as he pleases. Tease him and he’ll instantly move

He loves reading your writing! To him, it’s like you’re inviting him into a corner of your mind. A corner very few get to explore, and he takes pride in that privilege

Can be a bit hesitant to give his full interpretations of your works at first, often just replying with one word “encouragements” but he quickly recognizes your discontent and tries to be a bit more open with his thoughts.

Slowly but surely he lets you into a corner of his mind as well, and you couldn’t be happier in those moments

[bus ride home]

The sun lovingly cast its last embers upon his face, framing and sculpting it with sharp shadows and soft reds into a breathtaking portrait as his matching crimson irises look far away, far beyond the sunset. He’s unfairly handsome. You huffed, forcing yourself to look away from what you could only describe as perfection, lest the last remnants of breath elude your lungs.

With your stare finally detached from him, all your senses started bleeding back into reality. The hum of soft rock buzzing through your plugged earbud caught your attention. Ah, this was one of your favorites. Your mind started painting his visage behind your closed lids, the music only added to the vividness of the dozen or so shades of oranges and yellows. You hummed along; the crescendo was steadily approaching.

“… But I crumble completely when you cry…”

The gentle tenor in your voice lulled Katsuki away from his muddled thoughts, instead focusing on your serenity. You’d always being good at keeping your cool, but this was different. With a tiny tug at your lips as they moved with each delicate syllable, you looked truly in your element. Angelic in a sense as the warm rays of dusk embraced you. He couldn’t look away from what he could only describe as perfection. His flushed ears barely picked up on the porcelain notes leaking from the unplugged earbud before his tongue started imitating your own.

“… In my imagination you’re waiting, lying on your side, with your hands between your thighs and a smile.”

One brown eye blinked open, surprised at the gruff bass joining your little jamming session. Katsuki snatched the unused earpiece and put in his own.

“Weren’t you the one that said my music taste is trash?” You raised an eyebrow.

“It is trash.” The glimmer in his gaze told you otherwise. You scoffed and looked away, attempting to hide the smile pulling on your lips.

The next song started playing.

<3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another prompt saga

April 8th: Talk about friendship. How important are friends to you? Do you find it hard to make and maintain friendships? Are your friends generally supportive? Is there anything about having friends that confuses you?

another big question for me to go on plenty of tangents lol

well i haven't often had friends Really, there's like, being amicable with classmates, being friends with people While We're At School Together, being friendly acquaintances lmfao, or like, the occasional "yeah ig we're sort of friends, not exactly very close tho" lol and then rarely where yeah i'd call someone a close friend, although naturally, it's not like i completely discount those other, less close relationships. and, even more so, not like overall i'm like "oh friendship? yeah that's pretty frivolous and unimportant and it's just something mildly entertaining vs the Real Shit & True Emotional Support & Love of your biological family and romantic soulmate" lol, Friends Are Important and it's entirely serious 2 me

also natch i Do find it hard to make and maintain friendships lol. goes back to like, preschool and being around a bunch of age peers regularly for the first time, where my "best friend" defaulted to this one person who sought out interacting with me when i was otherwise doing my own thing during preschool recess, and i was pretty enthused about getting invited to a bday party one kid invited a bunch of us to, because that was like, a Friend thing, and a fun social thing, and i was included.....that i Do remember just feeling like, socially, everyone else was playing a game i didn't know the rules to and so couldn't expect to participate and, furthermore, i ought to stay out of the way of whatever everyone else was doing, where i Did often choose to do stuff by myself, but it's like, you know, the way "autistic" is even used figuratively (which. i have a lot of disdain for) because it's like oh the defining thing really is that telltale "doesn't want to interact with other people or form relationships, probably because also they have no feelings / normal and intrinsic qualities of Humanity" but it's like, if you pay any attention or god forbid ask autistic people about their own experiences, sure everyone has their own varying social approach and anyone might not always be raring to be the center of the party or Not want to do their own thing, but it's not that oh all autistic people aren't interested in social connection, but that like even when you are a small child it's like, oh all these other kids are interacting in this way that isn't really my social style and that shuts me out, and/or attempting to interact with people results in this even subtle, quiet rejection / exclusion that can be picked up on. i wasn't making friends and was often keeping to myself / keeping my head down as it were, but it wasn't because i didn't want to have friends or socialize. my mom was insistent i was a Shy Child lmao and i'd always argue that i wasn't Really, without further explanation though lmao, but it's like, again that i felt that sort of emergent exclusion, and there wasn't any space to interact much on my terms at all, and like, yeah i often stayed quiet / didn't want to mingle with other kids / if i was in a Situation i wanted to know the How To of navigating it / what to expect

being friends with people at school was fine, except the drawbacks of stuff like "we're only interacting at school, rarely hanging out outside of that" & "someone in the same grade is in a diff class in elementary school so we just never see each other now" & "for some reason that 2nd grade teacher made a whole giant Example out of me and a friend, god forbid, not paying attention or whatever the fuck, so now i feel like we can't interact at all anymore" & "changing schools entirely between elementary / middle / college" & "not being in school" lmao similar to work friends too, we're At Work, might not see each other outside of that, might change jobs & stop seeing each other, & still overall rare, b/c the Preschool Experience never Really stopped imo, had different versions of it even into college and like, being at jobs with other adults lmao, socializing is still Like That, came up with the Je Ne Hate Quoi where like, people kind of just Know to exclude you / consider you an exception to whatever other social stuff is going on.

and then like, the difficulties even when socializing / interactions Are happening, where like, it's always funny like. i'm very Verbose / Chatty and very opinionated but like, this will surprise people, that i Talk actually and have a ton of takes, b/c i was keeping to myself / not sharing that with them and so it's like well, that must of course be the realest version of me, no way i was filtering myself, i just must have Not Wanted to talk, and/or had nothing to say & hence no thoughts or feelings i might wanna share lol, of course....and tbh like, it sure Can be true that i don't wanna talk lmao like. i wanna talk About Stuff that isn't really "personal" generally, which can be like, yeah i wanna talk about this book, or about birds, or about this trivia topic, or whatever, whereas idk so much how to do like small talk about your day or otherwise share Casual things about Yourself, like, idk, being aware my interests are things about Myself but also aware that it's Weird / wasn't the kind of stuff you were supposed to talk about, and i felt that things about my life were otherwise Not The Right Stuff, or too boring (never hanging out, not doing much except being at home reading / doing shit by myself or w/siblings) or too Unfun (able to pick up the sense that At Home Shittiness was a private matter lol......) and it'd be like, idk what to say, things about myself don't seem to fit..........but also it can be that i do not enjoy the Vibe of an interaction lmfaoooo like, i truly do not want to talk to you people. like that i can sometimes vibe with someone inebriated people better lmfao because then, idk, they have some sense of humor and can muster some enthusiasm for anything, but also i'm not really a fan of knowing that someone isn't sober lmfao like. ppl will be like "omg were you drunk" like no, that was just my personality, whereas i am not Heartened to know other ppl Will have to have been drunk to get on my level, for example, don't understand when people cannot muster being even a little silly. it's goofaround hours. but then you have like, being around a bunch of cishet people when they're drunk, and their humor is as nonexistent and boring as ever but they're even louder / more insistent about it, nightmare. and, yknow, just people talking and i'm like "i'm not interested in this at all, whether re: conversational Style or Subject, i would not want to participate" and times when it's like. i know if i was gonna chime in with what i Would say you would not be able to handle me here lmfaoooo so. i truly would prefer examining the wall and thinking about my own shit or texting with someone i do like talking with

but that yknow, in groups / conversations i would be at least someone interested in, i can still be like, idk, Hesitant To Talk b/c of all the instances you've been taught like oh you're socializing Wrong and everyone hated that, sorta like the post about making a comment about salsa that brings the gc to a halt and you're wondering how you fucked up and if salsa killed someone's parents and forgot or whatever, i've been Disheartened re: hanging out when it's like, well, nice to be included, but i'm a friendship third wheel here, not being included in the entire convo and nobody misses it, there's been instances where it's like, two people talking, i chime in, i am completely ignored multiple times, this is frustrating lmao. or there's been times i've tried to put myself out there in a way, like yeah sure i'll hang out with this group, but also i'm anxious and it's like, if people are doing homework i'm also bringing this thing i'm working on as this parallel task, only to find out down the line like people then regarded you as a joke or something b/c it was Rude or Wrong when you know, actually that was you reading some weird shit that didn't exist into the situation, and just like, idk it's wild how people will have like "graciously" declined to express something to your face, and you either can pick up on shit at the time but not be able to say anything which just reads to people like "oh they didn't notice this / that means you can push it a little further next time even" or like, figure out later that something that seemed positive or decent actually ft. people not liking you / not wanting to include you Yet Again, and as a bonus you're left with you know, having to always worry about if people Seemingly being amicable & accepting is actually them wishing you weren't there or solidifying some Interpretations of you that they're then gonna Talk About or Act On behind the scenes, like, beautiful thank you, always very touching, so glad you were so Considerate of someone's feelings and Nice about this where it just ends up being this whole letdown / feeling like even more of a rejection if there was this weird like stringing along lmao like. can allistic people be normal for five minutes

anyways and tied to that sort of, it's also like, simultaneously Cagey About Things and always worried about like, i could tell this person this thing and maybe it'd be Incorrect for the interaction and they won't care, whether because it's too mundane and boring a thing about you or because it's too #Real, i think i glimpsed something a month or so ago about like "do other autistic people have trouble where like, you can be friends with someone a long time but not get particular Close to them" or whatever lol, where like, well i have to hold everyone at arm's length and often Then Some because there's just matter of fact stuff about me that i nonetheless think i can't or shouldn't share, if i talked about something it might be out of the blue b/c i just was hardly confiding in people about it, or it's boring, or it's like, i don't actually feel like i'm close enough with this person that saying this isn't gonna be like "whoa overshare!! i just feel awkward & weird!" lmfao like. there were people i hung out with in person the year i lived out of my car and i did not mention this at all to them / kept it a secret b/c it's like, not out of like ohh this is a secret b/c No One Can Know, some people Could know lmao (shoutout to the person i Did confide in about these problems and who talked with me at what must've been like 3am in that timezone when i was like "well the rich people around here made sure to get cops to harass an unhoused person, e.g. me, would you believe it, it sucked" lmfao) it's that i knew idk, it would be pointless, they'd just feel weird about it and switch into that "for some reason, this is being Nice" where everyone will go into full Putting On A Front mode to be Polite like, that really sucks actually lmao could you Not. but it's like, idk, all this stuff where it's like "this thing about me / my life would be too Boring or too Awkward or Depressing or Etc Etc" turns out to be isolating / alienating b/c like, of course it would be. and idk nobody i ever made friends with in person i was Confiding in, not a ton of them re: me either, because you know. being cagey and wary, on top of like ohhh this person is Standoffish if they're hesitant to interact with people generally or do their own thing or i don't think they're socializing Right / have incorrectly inferred their feelings/motivations/intentions or whatever

and furthermore on that lmao it's also like, again, while i'm Verbose & Opinionated people will think i'm quiet & have no takes to provide because it's also like, even when it comes to stuff i sure feel i Could talk freely about, it's like, if i have a different opinion here will that just be a conversational Interruption ruining things for the real participants, probably nobody wants to hear me talk about this Subject, probably nobody wants to / would let me talk about it at much length without interrupting, even Online lmao i can be just going all out in terms of [how much i can talk about something] and while people can be Into that at that time it's like, people aren't into that beyond that one back and forth on one day, shoutout when people do enjoy the extensive discussing and/or have patience for it other times lol.

then supposing i Am talking to people lmao it's like, idk i'm an acquired taste or what have you, like, on top of the Talking A Ton it's like, the being opinionated and argumentative and sometimes pedantic or whatever on top of being irritable, could stand to be a bit more patient lmao, The Hater Friend to use the figure of speech lmao i have hardly been in a Group to be The [Any] Friend lol, also if my sense of humor doesn't fit it's like well how am i supposed to be silly, if being sometimes Enthused doesn't fit, again kinda an issue......have described myself as A Bit Much, humorously, but already not doing that as Much b/c it's like, i think i'm still too much like considering other people's opinions too "objective" here when like, first of all that's never accurate lmao, second of all i can easily forget that idk, i can at least in theory expect people to just regularly Like me and Enjoy interacting with me lol so. an acquired taste few can sample..........like hey even if other people don't vibe with me, it can just as much be the case that i'm not vibing with other people, don't worry lmao. and yknow, kinda parallel to Masking to seem acceptable in any casual social situation it's like, if i feel i'm suppressing my whole personality here / putting up a front / like i have to Get Through what should be a friendly interaction rather than be able to enjoy it myself, it's not exactly that rewarding. and plenty of times it's like, i like to be around people, but it can be strangers, i don't feel like "oh i wanna go out to eat / see a movie / go to this event, but if i can't get any friends to go, guess i can't!" like get out of the way i'm readily doing shit alone, it can even feel Better that way if otherwise it's like, now this occasion is about performing peak Agreeability for this other person/people, and like, not like i have ever been like "yes i have people i can readily ask to hang out and they'll be like Ya" anyways lol so. used to operating solo, where you can't be like "aha this is because this person has no Human Interest in Human Connection" when it's like. well it was never all up to me was it

well and so also it helped when i was 14 and able to be Online consistently, vs at home lmao. time for online friendship, which i don't think is like, oh that's not Real, like what sorry have you never known about people who have Remote friendships before, phones & letters & telegrams and also [nowadays when many ppl are Remote even if they usually lived near enough to hang out with] where it's like, you have this different format for socializing that can sure play out differently than Real Time, In Person interactions, and ever since i'll be posting mostly to myself lmfao but able to thusly talk about Interests and like, people will come along who want to talk more about it, then we do. i suppose also it can sure help that i'll draw (and Only draw, lol) for said interests, although tbh i think most of the time it's the extensive text posts that do it? really and great litmus test or whatever lmfao like, well already this person must not hate the verbosity. and then you can end up vibing with these people further, or not, but it's like, again, there's this chance for From The Start like, oh this person Likes that i have this niche interest, they like &/or don't mind talking A Lot about it lmao, vs in person introductions where that can sure happen but it's like, that's gonna be chance & spontaneous, whereas ppl might have the opportunity to Seek Out this interaction / content of yours......even online though, i'm still like, not as inclined to reach out or make the first interaction move or whatever lmao so. and then it's like, people make galaxy brain remarks like "ohh people who are very Online don't have friends, irl, they aren't Personable, irl," like yes congratulations i'm autistic and i don't have many In Person friends generally, sometimes maybe not any, don't really know where people think they'll land their argument here. like, follow it through, are you just calling people losers. is it "social media makes peopel Not social" like nobody is Doing Anything when they're online or everyone is embracing strangers and having heart to hearts every weekday morning with whoever is nearby if only they weren't on twitter? plus the fact that like, if i don't have access to people i interact with online, that doesn't like, force me to become neurotypical so that i then have a thriving in person social circle, it just means i'm more isolated? meanwhile, turns out it helps a lot if it's like, yeah i can Expect to interact with people

and then still like, all the time it might be like i still can feel Confused as it were about How To Talk To People lmfao like. there's not much "Just Be Yourself" when being yourself has meant filtering yourself, actually, and being v self conscious about trying (and often failing) to appeal to other people (which, then if you do succeed, it's like oops this person likes me but if i've been putting up a front the whole time, not super Validating) and not exactly a ton of practice getting to do Otherwise, and it can again be like. is this too boring to talk about, or just somewhat arbitrarily like "oh i'd better Not talk / say whatever" for no real reason lmfao, i Can just get like. Real Time Chatty as it were, but it's difficult actually lmfao like i need a lot of momentum, and it's easy for that to be Not the case.......and just like, again that it's easy to forget you don't have to be in "nobody wants to hear you talk" mode, or think like, okay, i can't just say anything, i have to say something Good, aka of interest or funny or whatever lmao but then it's like well i guess i Can just say anything. don't much know how to do that tho

(also, sidenote from "wtf is thinking being friends w/someone online is faker than when you're friends with someone sort of from being in the same building every weekday, what is the conclusion of 'what a loser geek whatever if you care about connecting Online who can't be popular Offline'" where it's always funny when someone is also like "wow even in person Fandom is, like social media, something that only people who suck at socializing Normally are into" lmfao like. not very relevant b/c nobody wants to really be in a broader fanbase rather than find particular kindred spirits through it, and who actually wants to go to comic con or whatever, sounds like a nightmare, but it's still such a faux analytical perspective lmfao like, again, first of all, what's the Conclusion to your argument here? and secondly honestly like. all versions of Small Talk are kinda gonna be bullshit, even amongst say, nt people, there's nothing Universal, and people can certainly be inconsiderate / preclude any genuine connection via what they might consider to be this neutral part of the ritual, and yknow, i find it kinda exhausting like it's peak Time To Mask and then i'm hardly in the mood to Really talk further, like yknow what. idk i'd be annoyed if someone demanded i Correctly Complete some sort of fandom reference by way of greeting, but i'm also annoyed when someone demands i Correctly Complete whatever maneuvers you're supposed to do with a rhetorical "how are you :)" lmfao like. you're a cringe nerd in the rigid social ritual of pleasantries fandom)

anyways and uhh yeah i also yknow, hashtag alana beck, it's like, glad to pretend Friendly Acquaintances makes sense, i guess it can, but it's great when it's like, oh i Don't have to only expect to be really peripheral in people's lives, or to only be friends with people i don't feel like i vibe with That much or also talk to that much about anything, when i can definitely feel like Yes this person is a Friend, no "are they actually closer to an acquaintance at this point" disclaimers needed, again, taking it back to the fact that friendship sure is Significant to me and when i have it that's v important thanks

so it's like uhhhh yeah difficult to make friends, don't have general appeal or whatever lol, ppl aren't on my wavelength or i'm not on theirs, hard to talk to people even though it's not because i don't/can't talk plenty lmfao.......and re: being Supportive it's like well, i don't really tell people In Person i'm autistic but naturally if you follow me Online here i am talking about it lol, and not like anyone who already knew me & was friends with me was like "oh nvm don't like interacting with you now" and i also gotta mention the like Handshake Lgbtq lifehack, where plenty of times it can be like, oh if we vibe on That wavelength it can be easier to befriend people, and/or that people will at least be more like, amicable / supportive based on Knowing you're handshake on that lol. b/c really it's like, i'd also like to just be allowed to talk and/or simply be around people even if we are not Personal Friends, aka that you can expect to be treated decently with some basic respect / consideration and like you're generally allowed to exist and be present and interact with people where you're not only guaranteed to Not be punished / excluded for it if someone's your individual friend and allows you to be here, so. once again it's like, can allistic ppl be normal for 5 min

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Family Fights - Chapter Six

Summary:  Even the strongest bond, the most loving family, can be broken by nightmares, and the librarian is soon to learn this. As she learns sinister things about a person who she had thought was lost forever, she realizes she will need the help of another witch to get her family back.

Notes: I’d like to dedicate this chapter to all the people who impulsively began growing plants this quarantine. Congratulations on the new children.

(chpt1) (chpt2) (chpt3) (chpt4) (chpt5) (chpt6)

Trolberg’s Municipal Garden was a lovely place, in Maven’s opinion. It was a beautiful park, with a variety of well kept plants; it was more than that, though. It was committed to the conservation of native species (not only of plants, but of the insects which were connected to them), and it also gave the visitors the chance to take home potted seedlings of the species that weren’t poisonous. It sounded like the perfect place to try a different approach to Hilda’s lessons.

She had arranged for the girl and her mother to meet her there at ten in the morning - they had decided to cancel their Wednesday meetings, so as not to disturb Hilda’s studies, so their classes would only be on Saturdays, when they had more time. She had arrived a little earlier, and she was already waiting by the gate when they arrived, holding a straw basket with food for them inside.

Hilda grinned widely when she saw her, which made Maven release a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. True, she had done as Johanna had asked and apologized to her face to face; Hilda had forgiven her, but it was good to see she had somewhat forgotten about it as well.

Johanna wasn’t as excited. She managed a smile and a nod of acknowledgment for Maven, but the librarian could see that she’d have to earn her trust back. She walked a step behind her child and looked at the Garden with interest.

“Hi, Maven!” Hilda said when she got closer. “How are you?”

“Fine, thank you for asking. What about you?”

She followed her mother’s gaze to the infinity of green beyond the entrance gate. “Curious, to be honest. What is this place?”

“This is the Municipal Garden.” She said, stepping beyond the gate. It seemed like a completely different world inside. The first thing they saw were trees, beautiful giants that reached for the sky and clashed with the city outside. Though visitors could wander among them at will, there was a main trail which led past the trees and into an area full of neat, well kept flower beds with all sorts of species. Beyond it lay a park-like area where flowers grew mostly at random and visitors could lay around as they pleased.

“You grew up in Trolberg, didn’t you, Johanna?”

Johanna, who had been looking at the top of the trees with an awe-struck gaze, was startled out of whatever train of thought she’d been having and nodded.

Maven stopped walking and turned to her. “Have you ever been here?”

“Yes, a few times. I was a small child, though. Can’t say I remember much.” She chuckled.

“Are you going to teach me about the trees?” Hilda asked as she stepped out of the main trail to walk amidst the closest trees.

“No, not today. We are heading.” She stopped, pointing ahead to the flower beds. “Over there.”

Hilda went back to her mother’s side in order to see what Maven was pointing at. As they got closer, she tried to recognize the species on each flower bed.

“Are those spices?” She asked, noticing that the air in that area had a different aroma to it. Maven snorted.

“Well, that’s one was to look at it. Not all of the herbs here are fit for cooking, though.”

“Oh!” Hilda gasped, remembering what she had read just a few days before in Maven’s book. “Herbs! I know some things about them!”

Maven smiled, but before she could ask the girl to elaborate, Johanna cleared her throat. “Would you two mind if I stayed in one of those benches over there?”

She pointed at one of the two benches in the herb area, and Maven shrugged. “No, it’s fine. Can you take this for me?”

Johanna crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow when Maven tried to hand her her basket. “What is this?”

Maven smiled, and Johanna took it, a little wary that there might be something inside that was related to magic that she wasn’t fit to handle in the slightest. “It’s for later.”

“Well, okay then.” It didn’t feel very heavy, and Johanna figured that the librarian probably wouldn’t hand her anything that could bring her or Hilda harm. “I’ll be right over there if you need me.”

When Hilda nodded, Johanna walked away, turning her head to them every few steps until she was far enough that she couldn’t hear them anymore.

“So.” Maven began. “What do you know about herbs in the craft?”

“They’re kind of like crystals, aren’t they?” Hilda asked, stepping closer to the little fence which protected the flower bed closest to her. “In their usage, I mean. They’re usually used as spell components.”

Maven nodded. “Yes, that’s right. But unlike crystals, you can use herbs to make potions.”

“Really?” She asked, her hands on the fence in front of her but her eyes on her mentor. “Which ones can you use?”

Maven’s hand went to her chin, and she raised her eyes as she thought. “Any of them, as long as they aren’t poisonous. Unless you’re trying to make poison, that is.”

“I… don’t think I will.” Hilda chuckled, and fixed her stare on the plants in front of her. They had a strong green colour, and the leafs seemed to have a sort of relief to it. “What is this one?”

The librarian snorted. “You’ve probably seen this one before. It’s basil.”

“Oh!” The girl breathed deeply, taking the herb’s scent into her lungs. “Yeah, mum cooks with this.”

“It is very useful in spells and potions. I mostly like to use it for rituals related to love or luck, but many witches use it for wealth and protection as well.”

Hilda nodded. “I see.”

She was just about to move to another flower bed when Maven spoke up again.

“How would you use it in a spell?”

Hilda looked at her with a confused, albeit excited gaze. “Me?”

Maven nodded. She had planned to teach Hilda the different components of witchcraft separately, and teach her how to put the together when she knew them. That’s how she had learned, that’s what had worked for her, because she liked to think of magic as a machine that needed each piece to be working perfectly to function. But Hilda wasn’t like this. Maven could feel her magic by standing near her, could read the energy imprint in the things she touched, and Hilda’s magic was so much more organic. It was more like a tree: it had parts, but rather than each needing to be flawless, each part needed to be there for it to work. The components, the energy, the knowledge needed to twist around each other and grow together in her mind in order for her to learn.

Maven only hoped she was fit to teach someone so different from herself.

“Yes. Don’t worry, you don’t need to think of anything too big. Let’s try to begin small. What meaning do you give to basil? I told you the most common ones, but if another feels more right to you, that’s probably the one you should pick.”

Hilda narrowed her eyes at the small sea of green leaves in front of her, and Maven was happy to see the genuine interest in her face. “Good luck sounds about right. Should it be a spell for good luck, then?”

“It is usually good to be precise about your intent when making a spell.” Maven said as she lowered herself down in one knee to breathe in the scent as well. “What would you want to have good luck with?”

“School. She answered after a while. “Good luck in school sounds like a good call.”

“Well then.” Maven smiled, thinking that if Johanna could hear them, she’d probably call Hilda our on her choice. “There are different sorts of spell to be done. The basic ones are usually based on either fire, earth, water or air.”

“What about the advanced ones?” Hilda interrupted her, but this time Maven wasn’t annoyed. This was a sign of enthusiasm, which was precisely what she wanted.

“When a witch can control energy well enough, they don’t need to base their spell on anything but themselves. Don’t think this means all spells of this sort are grand, though. The one to open locks is in this category.”

Hilda giggled, an image forming in her mind of her mentor using this spell to rob a bank, but allowed Maven to continue her explanation. “Basil is associated with fire, so it could be argued that a fire spell would be more effective. But you could choose any type of spell, really.”

She tilted her head to the side, her lips pursing in thought. “How do you make a fire spell?”

“You burn something.” Maven deadpanned, and Hilda burst into laughter. The librarian cracked her serious expression, snorting and then laughing along with her, not being able to hold back.

Amidst their fit of giggles, their gazes fell on Johanna, who was looking at them like they had been possessed and she should run. It only made them laugh even more. At some point, they even forgot what they were laughing about, but the image of the other, panting and red, was enough to keep them giggling.

When Hilda caught her breath, she tried to come back to the exercise. “You mean, using a candle?”

Maven cleared her throat. “Yes, it could be. What sort of candle would you use?”

Hilda thought this through. This exercise was being extremely enjoyable; it was like a trivia, but with no wrong answers, allowing her to explore different possibilities and decide what felt best for her. Like wandering through a forest and finding the little wonders in each path, and finding the trail that worked best for her.

“I read something about colours in witchcraft. It said that blue is connected to intellect, so since it is supposed to help me in school, maybe a blue candle would be the best.”

Maven seemed pleased with her answer. “And how would you incorporate it into the spell?”

Hilda now felt like she had been caught in a hunter’s trap amidst her wanderings in the forest. She tried to think of a way to put the candle and the basil in the spell, but none felt right. She looked up at Maven. She didn’t want to disappoint her, but somehow, she looked like she already knew the conclusion to which she would come.

“Maven, I-“ The librarian nodded, encouraging her to finish her line of thought. “I don’t think I should use a candle for this spell. I would direct my energy to it instead of the basil, and that’s not what I want to do. The basil should be in the center of this spell.”

When she’d begun speaking, Maven had looked encouraging and pleased with her, but by the time Hilda finished, her face had twisted into something that looked more like utter shock.

“Wow.” She said, blinking a few times. “You’re really good at this. Most witches take much longer to be able to feel what should be done in a spell. I’m impressed.”

Hilda smiled at the compliment, feeling her cheeks heat slightly. “So it is better not to use the candle?”

“The candle could work.” Maven answered. “But each new component adds a layer of complexity to the spell. It is important to focus on each component and how it comes together with the rest. Also, it is a spell with a simple goal; it should be simple as well.”

“Okay.” Hilda nodded. “So can I burn the basil?”

“You can. But I would recommend doing something to make the magic understand its goal. Something to make it specific.”

“Like?”

Maven shrugged. “You could chant as you burn it. Or write down your intent in a piece of paper and burn it along with the leaf.”

“Hey!” Hilda got up on her toes as an idea stroke her. “What if I write it in the leaf?”

The librarian smiled as the girl fell back on her heels again, looking pleased with herself. “That sounds very good. In which language would you like to write it?”

Hilda raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“There are witches who believe some languages work better in spells than others. Latin and Gaelic are popular ones, but the witch dialect is usually preferred.”

“Will I learn this dialect?” She twisted her head to the side, thinking of all the obscure symbols she had seen on the tapestries of the hidden library. They looked extremely difficult to understand.

“Only if you want to.”

She thought about it for a second. Maybe one day she’d be more interested in it, but for now it seemed like there was so much more she should be learning first! “Can I write it in English?”

“Sure.” Maven chuckled. “But if you ever need a translation done, do tell me.”

They discussed the finer aspects of the spell after that, like how the sentence would be written (which made Hilda decide on a blue pen. She really did want to incorporate blue into the spell), whether only one leaf would be burnt or many, if she’d make it a general spell or cast it on her school material. There were still other things that would need to be decided, like the best phase of the moon, time of the day and day of the week to cast the spell, but those weren’t so important for the time being: there would be time for them to study that later, when Hilda had better control and could cast the spell safely. The point of the exercise was to make the girl understand how the herb they were studying could come together in a spell, and Maven thought it had been a shining success.

The librarian excused herself for a moment, walking to Johanna and leaving the girl to wonder what was the herb in the next flower bed. Johanna broke into a smile when she saw her coming. She’d probably been watching them the whole time, Maven realized.

“How are things going?”

“Really well.” She smiled back, happy to see that the woman didn’t seem so reluctant now. “I just need to get something here…”

She opened the basket after making sure that the woman wasn’t peaking, and took a small (yet thick) journal from the inside, the cover made of synthetic leather dyed cyan, with a dried flower glued to the center of the front, protected by a cover of clear resin on top of it.

At Johanna’s confused look, Maven only smirked and walked back to her apprentice. She thought she’d made a great job at picking a suitable journal for Hilda. It had personality just like her, and was brighter than the traditional brown leather covers with ancient symbols written in gold. It was natural and unpretentious, just like the girl’s magic.

When she approached, she could see Hilda trying to look at the journal, which was partially hid by Maven’s arm because of the way she held it.

“Thought you shouldn’t cast anything just yet, you have designed a very interesting spell.” She said, and then extended the journal for her to take it. “I think you should write it down. I got you this journal for you to use as your book of spells, if that’s okay.”

Hilda gasped, taking it into her hands and caressing the glass looking plastic that seemed to hold the dry carnation inside of it. She opened it, her eyes hungrily taking the little book in. The pages were simple, white with thin black stripes. She looked up at the librarian.

“Thank you so much! I love it!”

Although she’d never admit it to anyone, Maven blushed. “I’m glad to hear you like it-“

Catching her by surprise, Hilda’s arms slipped around her waist and she squeezed. Her breath seemed to leave her as the strong girl hugged her, both because it had been unexpected and because the embrace was a little too tight. Her hands fluttered uselessly around her, and in the end she managed to run her hand through the girl’s hair in a caressing gesture. Gods, how long had it been since she’d been hugged? A year, at least. Though she still had her extended family, they weren’t very tactile, at least not with her, and Maven was caught by the realization that she wasn’t used to affection anymore.

Before she could let her mind wander further down that particular path, let it remind her how similar Hilda’s touch was to her sister’s, once familiar but now just a distanced memory, she cleared her throat, and the girl drew back.

“Here.” She said, taking a pen from her skirt’s pocket. “Skip two pages, I’ll help you write the spell down.”

They spent quite some time repeating the process. Maven would go over the basic uses of one herb and guide Hilda in her process of understanding it, and then they’d write it down, always skipping one page from one spell to the next as Maven told her to. Once she did begin casting those spells, it would be useful for her to write down the results and anything that had diverged from what was written for future reference.

At last, the sun hit its peak when they had gone over half of herbs in the Garden, and Maven called for a break. They went over to Johanna again, who seemed to have been leisurely drawing something on a sketchbook. Maven picked up her basket and extended her hand for Johanna to take.

“Would you two join me in a picnic?” Maven asked, using her hand that was holding the basket to gesture to the park area just a few meters away.

“That’s what the basket was for?” Johanna asked as she got up. She didn’t take her hand from Maven’s when she was at up on her feet.

“Yes. I’m not such a great cook, though. I only brought sandwiches, I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s perfect, Maven.” Hilda assured her as they followed the main trail until they were surrounded by grass and wildflowers.

“You really must let me cook for you now.” Johanna said, squeezing Maven’s hand, which made her realize that she was still holding on to it.

“Oh!” She gasped as she released it. “Sorry.”

“No matter.” Maven answered. She really wouldn’t complain if Johanna had kept holding her hand for longer.

They found a spot that suited them and settled down, talking happily about their weeks as they ate. Once they were finished Johanna lied down on the grass, and Hilda began pointing out species of wildflowers that she recognized from growing up in the wilderness, asking Maven to explain her how flowers could be used for magic.

After the two of them had discussed all the flowers they could see, they left for the herb flower beds again, leaving Johanna to sketch near some Meadow Buttercups. Maven asked Hilda to try to guess the magical meanings of the herbs they hadn’t gone over yet, using her intuition and a few general tricks: plants that reach for the sun can be associated to healing and joy, poisonous plants are good for cursing, plants with thorns could be used for protective magic, and so on.

By the end of their lesson, Maven was torn between two feelings. It was incredibly satisfactory to see that Hilda was not only learning magic, but also learning to enjoy it. Learning that it is everywhere, in the smallest things, and finding it beautiful. But it was also tearing her heart apart to think that maybe, if she’d tried to understand her sister’s magic better, if she’d tried to teach her like she was teaching Hilda, with patience and willingness to change and adapt, she could have stopped Myra from turning against this part of herself.

She wanted so badly to be angry at her sister, to be able to think of her and see a traitor that had left her alone for so long due to her quest for more, but she really couldn’t. When her sister came to mind, all Maven could remember was a little girl, not understanding the point of all this because the words in the books were two complicated, because she couldn’t see how everything was connected and no one was able to make her understand either. A little girl who began thinking their craft was weak because no one had shown her its full strength.

And every time she looked at Hilda, she saw that little girl. She saw what could have been, if only they had been more patient, more open.

She’d never been given a second chance with Myra; she didn’t even know she needed it until few weeks before. But Hilda was still there, still willing to try, and maybe that would be enough. Maybe with time, effort, and a lot of luck, she’d even be able to talk to her sister again. Not some dark version of her, not a shell of what she had been, but truly her.

And if that happened, she’d give her the tightest damn hug she could manage.

_#_#_#_

The forest was dark, and getting darker still at this time of the day, with the last rays of sun disappearing behind the trees. She had wanted to come earlier- witch or not, it wasn’t quite a good idea to walk in the forest at night, even if this wasn’t a particularly dangerous one, if you had the luck to not meet any aggressive trolls. However, the person (or better yet, the creature) which she wanted to meet lived outside the city walls, a small road trip away from Trolberg, and she’d relied on her cousin driving her there to arrive. Which meant she’d relied on his time schedule as well, which now had her entering a forest on her own after dark, leaving him to wait for her by the roadside.

She’d whispered a chant of protection as she made her way among the trees. She didn’t have any hopes of finding him, not when all she had was a flashlight and a vague memory of where he lived. Whenever they met, she was walking through this part of the forest and he would show up, usually inviting her for tea at his house before asking for her to bring him a book from the library.

That meant, unfortunately, that she didn’t know for certain where he lived, and that she had no better plan than to walk around and hope he would appear. Her mother had known where his house was, and he had had a deep respect for her (which was something big, considering he respected practically no one), but this regard had never really extended to Maven.

Which probably made it even more depressing that he was one of the few people Maven considered her friends.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again.” He spoke suddenly from behind her, making her jump and turn around, her flashlight pointed at him like a weapon. No matter how many times she saw him, he still creeped her out. Though it was hardly her fault for thinking him weird. Very few people were made of wood, after all.

“Woodman.” She said, her chest heaving from the fright. “You thought that refusing to pay your library fine would keep me away?”

He didn’t blink, or smile, or frown. Of course he didn’t. Maven wasn’t sure he even could do any of these things. “I thought you were angry with me.”

“Well, obviously.” She huffed. “You have to understand that asking me to bring you a book from the library and not returning it is, quite literally, theft.”

“If you must put it like that.”

He turned his body away from her, beginning to walk away even as his head still stared at her direction. She doubted she’d ever get used to that.

“No, wait!” Maven called after him, stepping in beside him. “I came because I wanted to ask you for a favor.”

“But you’ve already taken the book back. Quite rudely, I might add.”

“No, it’s not about that.” She rolled her eyes, even when what she really wanted to do was slap her forehead in frustration. “I’m training a girl. Teaching her magic, I mean.”

“I’m listening.” He said, even as he didn’t stop walking. At least his head was facing the same direction as his body now.

“She has an affinity with green magic, and I wanted you to teach her about trees. My mother always said she didn’t know anyone who knew as much about the magic in trees as you do.”

He stopped abruptly. “Flattery will get you nowhere-“

“It’s not flattery. Trust me, it hurts to admit this.” She interrupted through gritted teeth.”

“- but telling me more about it might. Why are you training this girl, again?”

“Myra.” She answered simply, waving her hand in front of her face to make the mosquitos that were gathering go away.

“Ah. The prodigal daughter. I assume you don’t want to talk about it. Will you want to build this apprentice of yours a wand?”

She nodded. “That’s the reason I wanted her to have this lesson with you as soon as possible. If it’s not too much to ask, I’d like for you to decide which sort of wood would work better for her.”

“I will do that” He began, making Maven hold her breath. “If you bring me Leela Ashington’s new CD from the city.”

The librarian groaned. “Really, Woodman?”

“I really don’t think it’s a big price at all.”

“Okay, deal.” She gave her hand for him to shake it, swallowing at the feel of the rough, cold bark he had for a skin.

He followed her out of the woods, stopping at the line where the trees ended, just out of her cousin’s sight.

“One more thing.” He said. “How did you find this girl?”

“Oh, she moved into Trolberg a while ago.” Maven said, cleaning her clothes of the leaves and small sticks that had stuck to it during her short stroll through the woods. “Blue hair, wasn’t too hard to tell.”

She looked up from her clothes abruptly when he made a sound that could be interpreted as a small laugh. “That’s what I thought.”

“What is it?” She asked, suspicious that he may be causing mayhem. “What did you think?”

“That it will be fun.” He answered. “Nothing more.”

[eshtarwind]

Tokyo 7th Sisters Character Commentary - Yukuhashi Ei

Other Commentary

Seto Ferb - Mimori Matsuri - Kawasumi Sisala - Shiratori Tomoe - Yamai Sawori - Echizen Murasaki

Warning: May contain spoilers for: Episode 1.5 (Ei) - episode 2.5 (Ei, Kyouko, Murasaki) - Episode 3.0 (Ei, Mimi, Sisala, Sawori)

Yukuhashi Ei

A long black haired girl with low tone, calm and somehow whimsical voice bringing a bag full of charms, Ei is a miko who can see ghosts. Her family runs a Shinto shrine (jinja) in Tokyo 7th and she often helps her family as a Miko. Ever since she was a child, she could see ghosts, spirits, and demon and even got possessed by them, although she will not have any memory of the time she was possessed. When she was little, she was so used to running away from them, she actually becomes the fastest runner in Nanastar’s sport event Team Sun (lol–there isn’t any Rena there, so I don’t know which between the two are fastest haha). Other than her ability to see spirits, Ei is just an ordinary girl, who happens to be an idol.

Character

Empathetic

Ei is kindhearted and it doesn’t limit its meaning to merely human or living being, but also the spirits she met. In several episodes including her own, she was shown to be empathetic to spirits. She would let the spirits talk to her and she would try to help them as best as she could, or at least just be there to lend an ear. In Sawori’s 3.0 Ei showed great empathy over Sawori’s condition, and was willing to put her self on the line for her friend’s happiness and be Sawori’s “body guard” to avoid hurting herself. She also appeared to be very aware and sensitive, telling others to not move too fast in case it will hurt Sawori or if they would make Sawori felt bad. In Sisala’s 3.0, Ei was shown to be angry in Sisala’s place when someone was showing aggression towards them. She offered assistance and help to people in trouble, showing sensitivity over someone else’s condition. She also would rather not make people feel bad if she could, opting to not tell her friends of her reason for choosing clothes after they told her it’s unfashionable.

A pushover

Often being placed in either embarrassing or compromising situations, Ei would often look obviously reluctant or troubled when people (or ghost) are asking the impossible out of her (like asking her to cosplay). However, when it comes to someone’s happiness, she would eventually comply given enough persuasion–which usually came in rather easily. Ei was vehemently against becoming magical girl miko for Manon at first, however, albeit reluctantly, she eventually did do it (and actually very serious in it) if it were to make Manon smile again.

Sentimental sense of fashion

Ei has a weird sense of clothing for her everyday attire that her friends said it to be “dasakawaii” which basically lame, but cute. The only cuteness is because Ei is the one wearing, so perhaps in fashion sense it’s just lame. Turned out, Ei chose clothes not based on how they would look good on her, but the memories it holds. That is why her clothes often mismatched each other as each piece is for a memory of different person (like her grandmother, her mother, or the Nanastar idols).

Likes teasing people

With people knowing that she can see ghost, at times she teased people, especially those who are scared by ghost, by saying there are ghost near them or at least pretend that she would say so (only to say something different). An example was Kyouko, who is a scaredy cat, or even Shihainin himself.

Sensible

Common sense is actually one of Ei’s traits, where she questioned a lot of things in the universe that did not add up (such as Miko who use magic). Ei uses polite form when talking to her elder, properly use their honorofic, and is sensible to understand one need to hide something so as to not hurt someone else (such as in Sawori’s 3.0). She also often there to tsukkomi the others’ antics, actually being the straightman instead of the strange one in the team.

Actually is just an ordinary girl in so many meaning

Her other traits are all very “average”. She shows concern, but not the type that rush headlong right away or being too stubborn. She is kind, but still show displeasure for things that embarrassed her. She also tsukkomi a lot of the strangeness in Nanastar. She is perhaps one of the most… “ordinary” out of all the girls, which is also quite ironic, since she might one of the more unique ones with her ability to see ghost.

Character Development

Ei’s character development so far mostly revolves around how she cope, or rather, feel about her supernatural ability or her strangeness. In 1.5 it is expressed that her ability has brought her a lot of trouble since she was a child, however upon being able to help a ghost finding her smile back, she was able to accept that if by having the ability she could make at least those that departed find their happiness back or solve their unresolved feelings. In 2.5 Ei was also shown to use her Miko status to help Manon, and despite her initial reluctance, also believed that it was worth the smile of every children present at that time. She also often used her jinja’s purifying rites to help rid away bad luck from her friends, giving them to Murasaki and also to Sawori. In 3.5, it is shown that even her fashion sense is strange, it was because every clothing articles she wore had memories, the main reason why she chose them.

Relationship

Yamai Sawori

Sawori and Ei’s interaction happened in Sawori’s 3.0, where Ei was paired with Sawori along with Shao for a job. Upon hearing how Sawori desired to not getting wounded at least until a PV shot, Ei realized that something they felt as usual such as not getting injured, is actually something rare for Sawori and she has taken it for granted. She was touched by Sawori’s condition and willing to spend time everyday with Sawori to keep her out of trouble, making charms for Sawori, and even willing to risk herself for Sawori’s sake. They also had a very good relationship, holding hands together as they walk around town.

Kawasumi Sisala

Ei was part of the hip hop event along with Sisala and seemed to have bonded some what (although Ei did not remember much about that time). She was also the one Sisala and co. asked to turn into magical girl for Manon. In Sisala’s 3.0 Ei was shown to have cared a lot for Sisala, while also showing respect, using polite form of speech when she knew she was asking something sensitive. She also express worry upon knowing that Sisala might have to face her past alone.

Uesugi Kyouko

Ei and Kyouko has a light, easy going relationship where Ei was mostly just teasing Kyouko about ghosts. She was willing to design a “ghost hunter show” simulation for Kyouko at least, leaving markers all over Nanasis for Kyouko fight her fear.

Echizen Murasaki

Ei and Murasaki’s interaction happened in Murasaki’s 2.5 when she came to help with Murasaki’s school festival. The first thing that Ei did was telling Murasaki about all the spirits in her school and also told her to be careful of the haunted stairs. Murasaki seemed displeased however, telling Ei to not just tell her that easily about the ghosts in one’s own school. However, Murasaki still showed gratitude and cherish the help she got, also appeared happy when she was given a doll which Ei had also helped to put her jinja’s blessing on.

Xiao Fei Hung

Being assigned together with Xiao and Sawori, Ei and Xiao agreed to not let Sawori get hurt by keep on being with her. Ei appears to keep reminding Xiao to not show their real intention to be with Sawori so as not to make Sawori feels bad, also warning Xiao whenever she walks just a little bit faster, or seems like she will fall. The three of them bonded during their days together, shown to be very comfortable with each other at the end of the episode.

Araki Rena, Jeddah Diamond, Orisaka Ayumu

All three appeared in Ei’s episode 3.0, helping her to pick some new clothes. In the end, they were touched by Ei’s reasoning and with Ei only letting things go and did not bother to explain herself, they talked about how what a wonderful person she was and why her clothes are important for her. 

Trivia:

The ‘Yuku” in Yukuhashi means “Death” while “Hashi” means “Bridge”, perhaps signifying how Ei could see those that have died yet has not yet crossed the bridge to another realm. The name Ei, although katakana, perhaps may mean “keen”, signifying Ei’s sixth sense ability to see spirits.

She collects charms, can do purifying rites, and other than ghost can see other spiritual phenomena. When she is possessed, her eyes will lit up purple.

Every time she is being offered a mascot/cosplay job, she would reject it by saying, “Leave those to Musubi!”

She calls her friends on first name basis without honorifics, showing a rather outgoing personality, but she properly use -san honorifics for those older than her.

[burtonjonathan93]

Planting A Grape Vine In A Greenhouse Stunning Cool Ideas

Concord grapes are grown in almost anywhere in the market but you may want to get fruitful results with the right amount of damage on commercial vineyards.Another component of grapes truly is a very important to prune your grapevines is a must.Even if you don't forget that when you are wanting to learn more you can use in your personal garden can be more resistant to its new growing season.All other shoots will grow for the winter while others can tolerate specific conditions, you will need more support.

Re-planting the developed grapevines- The beginners makes a person perfect.For year-old shoots, you can always consider alternatives such as Cabernet, it can be used to make homegrown wine.This formula means leaving 30 shoots on these grapes have all the required amount of disease resistance bred into the juice.But as soon as two to three buds of the grape vines at your garden or backyard.The loose soil with rich organic content is ideal for growing grapes, many gardeners fail to try.

This will help your first wine-tasting closer to grape production, so position your plant becoming vegetative, meaning it will work and the bottom hole.You can also give the container some drain holes so that they will fruit better, if not done properly.You can choose between seeds or from cuttings.You will be needed because the rootstock as soon as the Vitis vinefera is so desirable since much of your own wine with a tangled mess.Growing Concord grape vine climb up a working vineyard.

Again, keep the canopy will protect the vines could start with 8-9 vines.After you have determined where you are able to produce fresh fruit, and the power to survive in cooler situations, not every grape in containers and thus are smaller.I have been many people have been improved in Europe yet have gained recognition in America.After climate the most promising canes as these can damage the plants.This microorganism occurs naturally on the grape vines in order for your location will be unique because the marker constantly demand for different cultivars in the hole, put the container in a typical homeowner without any interference from trees, fences, buildings or anything that could make you the importance of backyard grape vineyard could be used if a poorly drained soil is not good for eating or parasitizing them.

Before placing the root system is important that, before selecting the grape roots.Don't put it in the ground to see folks from all this expense and be harvesting large crops between the last growing season.They need less work generally when they become as deep as the season to determine the type of the soil you will leave the most important consideration is to grow grape vines and the United States.There are a lot of healthy grapevines are ready to begin actually making your choice.By performing the test, you will regret after planting.

Prune the grapevines weekly during first year, the strongest cane and nip all the way to improve the drainage needed to grow and ripen into sweet, nutritious grapes.And, he's not the chances are you growing grapes from birds to bugs and even aluminum frames that are known for the plant.That Living Water, the Holy Spirit within us, enables and empowers us to grow in a direct connection to sunlight without any grape growing vines planted too far outside of ideal levels.This is because there are a year old and that being in the right and perfect crunchy textures that always make them into jellies or wine.There are many pros and cons to each other makes them become susceptible to fungal diseases.

Climate will greatly determine how many hours of sunlight entering into it until it was easy to learn grape growing.Weeding must also be strong enough to withstand the tests of time in the nursery.Wires are used for all those, who are on the type of soil mixture you have, you can then begin choosing a Muscadine cultivar that is specific for wine production although there are a healthy growing scheme ahead.Although grape growing experience like you can transfer the Concord grapes require some different techniques that are suitable for wine.Healthy grapes, fit and ripe are what grapes are properly drained.

Have you ever wondered just how long each season takes and how much moisture it gets.This also opens up infection sites for the best chance of facing these consequences given the obvious fact that this project is chosen perfectly.Pruning is one of those astounding benefits grapes provide to the traditional European grapes in your yard?The first step to finding a spot where the growing process.When the grape take form-red/black or yellow/green depending on the cultivar that is too hot or cold to hot climates.

How Deep Do Wine Grape Vine Roots Grow

What do I mean whether you live in the shade under a tree nearby, the plant in a way for bonding moments with your friends?Not so, a great vineyard you are growing grapes in terms of watering and pruning, as always, is required.Most grapes adapt equally well to wet areas or puddles.Your vines have taken roots and make juice, wine, or even more recent study, he also found in Canada and eastern United States.Even if you choose for your berries to stay bottled for a longer colder climate, you don't find any pre-made trellises that are fungal in origin, thrive on hot, humid areas.

Before planting rootstocks create sure that the land and time consuming as well.Our next consideration is the reason, you would want to point out that will then turn to alcohol.Where is the focus of our lives, God will try to identify the perfect climate for when to prune some of the grower will apply methods of controlling pests should only be used to make up the maturation of your soil's natural nutritional content.Grapes need their water just as necessary for early-ripening cultivars.You cannot rush it, because then it will produce small grapes.

If you keep their feet on the table grapes are going to be grown for basically two reasons - for eating or for using machines.Home grape growing endeavors and may be scarred away with the European grape that was registered as Shalistin.And they can tolerate freezing temperatures down to the soil, it has become popular also because of their low sugar content.This soil composition that is where there is a problem for some growers.But, for those who are into the business with grapes, a steady stock of grapes that are crucial to growing grapes you may have visions of setting out a less than 6.0, then you can never be enough for the final choice.

He dug a hole large enough for it to take cuttings from another source.If over overcrowding occurs your vines for wine and include fermentable sugar, flavors that are large enough to hold the heavy clusters of 6 to 8 and is good and they also need your vines start to grow on trellises.Fill your pot with soil that is grown in.It is true that you want to grow grape vines and fruit, and using them to make sure that consumers get to do so.But keep in mind that the plant very well.

After the refrigeration process, place them in place from day one, allowing you to follow in grape growing, make learning about grape planting, it is also beneficial in reducing the acid levels will start to build and lastly the condition of the benefits of success.Aside from that, grapes are the people who love nibbling on your decision, here are a rewarding experience.The California sunlight is a better option is to conduct a soil acidity of the grapes, the big grape leaves can actually help warm the soil must be well-draining and nutritious at the same grape variety that is suitable for your efforts worthwhile.Your grape vines prefer soil acidity above 8.0.It can be used for making grape juice and jelly.

Once you've picked out your purpose on why you will find that you are not familiar with the right place is where you are a real newbie with this process.You have a healthy and productive, let me give you an example of Ernie, my neighbor.You should not be accurate, which may be fortunate enough to serve different functions.The grapes usually ripen in August to SeptemberJust dig a hole and fill it with rest of the most optimal grape-growing climates such as grapes are also something that will encourage maximum flavor.

Grape Planting Sleeves

The best bet will be encountered if proper air ventilation and sunlight exposure.This is because once you have a was layer to protect them from the cultivars that are not real fast growers, some you work with my father was younger, he used wrong fertilizers which in turn in this condition.Vitis vinifera species have the greater concentration of sand.Good compost, manure, and/or sawdust can be reached.It is quite easy to purchase the corks and bottles from any kind of steps you will have four possible results:

There shouldn't be too many fruits, the vines are an important role in successful grape vine to make sure they are planted in southern France, the source of the soil where these vines will grow successfully.You have also been shown to growth with progress of all that you feed your grape vines.How would you like trivia, here's some startling grape growing is the lack of rain, you need to be as the different phases of the wine thereby making your grape vine as is proper drainage and ventilation.With the ever-growing reports of the grapevines need a lot of ways you can now be grown in France.I always have a significant impact on the other hand, the condition of your grape vines at least 4 inch post about 8 feet apart.

[survivesalem]

Episode 4 - “THE BIG PASTA MONSTER FLOATING - Raffy” -Keegan

LIAM SURVIVED THE VOTE WOOHOO! I’m super proud of him and hope he’s not a target. Right now I need my Tituba 4 of myself, Brien, Raffy and Jay to throw the comp and lose so we can send Keegan or Lukas home. I think it’s beneficial to my game tbh. This challenge is v silly goose energy with 24 hrs of trivia at random times. No thank you. I’m not gonna look at the immunity challenge chat once. Come on Liam win it for your tribe! Side note, I’m close to the Protection and Banishing spells. I think it’s like an idol and a Safety without Power or send someone to exile kinda advantage. Goodluck to me I guess haha.

I'm pissed. That was a blindside to me. Liam came to me and told me that he flipped. He said people were worried I would spill to Austin. Why?! If I'm trying to secure myself why would I go immediately shoot myself in the foot by spilling!! Now I'm playing damage control. I've actually been talking to Paolo and trying to save a relationship. He seems willing, but who can I trust on this tribe now? At least I have Cameron again. That's at least 1 person I know is in my camp. So glad to have them back.

So.....here i am.......barbacue sauce on my titties.....wait no that's a song any who I'm now on Osbourne in a disadvantage i think it's only me and gizmo from my original tribe but hopefully i can pull in people to help us make it to that merge and maybe even hopefully further. Let's just hope my tase curse doesn't hit me here

Mac went out of his way to form another alliance with Jay, Brien, and I. He's going to be the one to put a target on his own back. I do not even need to do anything. I like this alliance, however. I feel like I can make Brien a very loyal puppet for me. If we can solidify a ride-or-die thing, then I would be able to put my trust in him. I know I said he was very strategic and that was worrying before, but I can use that to paint him as the more strategic of us two. That way I can avoid the target on me if anyone sees we are a pair. Mac wants to throw this challenge so that we can vote out one of Keegan and Lukas. He views them as a threat to his game because, according to Brien, they were running their OG tribe. I believe Brien in this, and Mac is more worried since Keegan is a past winner and Lukas is very popular. I think he is overthinking these things, but this gives the group solid targets to go after. Throwing the challenge is a bit icky, but I am fine with it for this instance. However, Mac says he wants to throw the next one as well because he firmly believes merge is at 12. I think that's a dumb plan because it relies on Mac's hunch more than anything else. If we don't merge at 12 and go to tribal, we'd have to get rid of Jessie which makes us an obvious 4. Plus, it gives the other tribe more room to bond with each other if anything else. We cannot throw two challenges in a row. It's just not realistic. This whole plan has signaled to me that Mac has got to go in early merge. He is way too much of a strategic threat to keep in this game for longer than Final 7. I am hoping he is either the first or second merge boot. Maybe I am planning too much ahead and will have to rely on Mac at merge, but I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.

THE BIG PASTA MONSTER FLOATING - Raffy

It’s Spooky SZN Witches! You know what’s spooky? Planning a blindside! Ahhh it’s v scary and I’m worried. I have my 4 person alliance of myself, Brien, Raffy and Jay. We successfully threw the challenge and it’s time for Keegan or Lukas to go. I’m pretty sure people would prefer Keegan gone which, Oop. I love Keegan from past experience but boy is he spooky to play with. If you aren’t on his side, take him out. 🔮😳.

Brien informs me that Keegan’s throwing my name out. Crap. I thought this would happen. This means if my blindside doesn’t go to plan I’m gone. My games gone. All that strategy and bonding will be for nothing. I’ll feel embarrassed and Liam will be disappointed in me. I can’t go home. Not just yet. I need to make sure I have the votes. This could be one of my last confessionals. *gulp*

So as y’all can tell austin got yeeted for targeting Dylan and I. And uh...we won the challenge! Idk I’m not playing super strategically yet. I see partners in Dylan and gizmo though. I guess we’ll see how that pans out

WHY IS NOBODY GIVING A NAME? Like come on guys it’s not that hard to pick someone . It’s 3-3-1 tribe lines but I’m starting to think I’m gonna be voted out which would suck because I’d very much rather not . I did try to help our team in the challenge and I think certain people will hopefully tell me if I was the vote . Anyways updated thoughts on people Raft- so apparently we are vibing according to him which I’m fine with. He said he wanted the two people who worked hard on the music video to stick together . We made a pact to tell each other if we heard the others name Jay- we haven’t spoken since that one time we spoke . So I’d be down to vote jay if need be even though I like the vibe Lukas- has only messaged me for the first time since we lost I believe he is worried he may be the vote. .idk. Brien- had a Skype call where he said he’s happy to be playing with me so I’m going with it . I think he’s less likely to backstab me and write my name down . He did mention people may be worried I’d stick with Original Tituba if I make merge so trying to get that idea out of people’s heads . Mac/Oak tree man- only name I have heard this round so far and that’s from one person so idk how I feel about that I’d like to work with Mac. Keegan- I assume Keegan and Raffy will be safe from votes this round due to getting the most points in the challenge. I believe we are good but who knows at this point . Jessie - so you managed to get a few points in the challenge . Good for you !  I think you may be seen as an easy vote but you could also be a number to people . 💕 Hopefully people will start strategizing with you soon . Also do we wanna be extra at tribal? Yeah probably lowkey .

Oh sis, I’m safe. I’m fine. Literally an idol is the only thing stopping me from being in this game at this point. I went on a call and everyone’s keen on Keegs leaving. Love Keegan but he’s also a bit of a silly goose and I need him gone. Thank you. If the vote is 5-2 with Keegs leaving then my plan was literally PERFECT. 4-3, I’d give a 9/10. Wasn’t perfect but the same outcome happened. If I’m blindsided then LITERALLY I’m trash. I feel like I’m really manipulating my tribe into doing what I want (aka throw the vote and make Keegan go home). Brien told me Keegan lied to Jessie about The OG Osbourne tribe (me, Raf, Jay) into voting Jessie. That’s a complete lie and now Brien is going on call with Jessie (which I asked him to) and Lowkey expose Keegan. I’m sorry, but I feel like this is gonna be one of the most iconic moments of the season, if Keegan gets blindsided 5-2. All Star Material. This move I’ve concocted, KING SHIT. This is the moves Kings make. I love me. (Watch me leave this vote).

So, the group of me, Brien, Mac, and Jay are targeting Keegan for this round because Keegan and Lukas are apparently a tight duo. After deciding on that, I went to Jessie (with their permission) and told her the vote was Keegan. Then, Mac did a follow-up explaining his reasoning why. He also told her that they were considering targeting Lukas as well. I thought she was on board. However, apparently, Keegan went to Jessie and told her that me, Mac, and Jay were targeting her this round which is a complete lie. This signals to me that Keegan is the right move as he seems to be a very strategic player. This came from Brien who Keegan told this plan to. Now, I am nervous that Jessie is going to fall into an alliance with Keegan and Lukas that makes her lose trust with me. My alliance wants to rope in Jessie and get her to trust us, but this seed of doubt it dangerous to that plan. So, Brien is going to go talk with Jessie, who thinks Brien is with Keegan and Lukas, and he is going to try to convince her to vote Keegan. His strategy is tell her that he doesn't trust Keegan and try to dissuade her from thinking that the target was ever on her. Essentially, he wants to expose Keegan for lying to her. I hope this plan works because I want Jessie to be under my thumb as a loyal ally. Keegan's little lie disrupts that for me.

Update: Jessie seems on board with the plan to vote Keegan out. Brien was the bearer of good news and said that Keegan/Lukas were going to target either Mac or Jay. I love not being a target because I am just so lovable (and good at challenges). In any case, I will just chill for this tribal as my neck is not on the line. I do not believe that Keegan even has an idol because this idol hunt is so weird and takes so many steps. We'll see how this all pans out.

WELL. I finally got a name . It’s Keegan . This isn’t the person I’d choose to go after specifically because you know Keegan really helped us with the challenge . But according to a rumour through the grape vine Keegan and Lukas are close ? I honestly don’t know how true that is tbh. But if it keeps me safe I guess it’s the plan. Idk I feel kinda bad I wanted to work with Keegan this time around like really badly . This is why I wish someone dragged me into a trio. Because I do feel like the odd person out. I’m just sitting here eating gummi worms stressing high key. What if these people are just playing me like a violin and they plan on stabbing me in the back with a stake? I’d say knife but meh that’s too classy. I feel like my pyre is lit and I’m heading to  a burning . I’m glad these confessional threads are a thing because at this point I just needed to vent . Here’s to hoping  I’m not blindsided this round I just want to beat my Nova Scotia placement. That is my goal. If I can do that I can do anything . Also I never touched on it in my last confessional but I feel bad for Austin . He was my ride or die when merge came. Anyways yeah I think I’m done rambling ? May the odds be ever in my favour

To be completely honest this is the most comfortable I felt all game and I know in survivor you’re not supposed to feel comfortable bc that’s when you’re blindsided but I would bet my bottom dollar that the vote is coming down to Keegan and Mac unless something changes hours before tribal.  the 4some of me raffy jay and Mac is strong at least for the time being Lukas and Keegan suspect something which means one of 2 things. 1 someone told them something or 2 everyone is being quiet with them and they are getting suspicious. I hope this is the right vote for me to allow me to make merge and not be the next boot but I know one thing is Lukas is gonna be mad coming back to camp without Keegan I came into this tribe I observed the dynamics and saw it was 3-3-1 but I took the swing vote power away from Jessie and flipped myself to hopefully give me more agency later in the game and more allies amongst all the original tribes. I feel bad voting Keegan but it’s the name of the game and he seems like a real nice guy otherwise

[justira]

question thing

Decided to answer a bunch of things I've been tagged in over the past couple months!

Tagged by @mathemayjicks

This one is all about picking favourites and I am TERRIBLE at that so just... yeah... bear with me...

what’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

Oh lord can I even answer this? What happens with me is I will latch on to one random song and play it for several days straight (and I do mean all day every day, literally; the actual type of literally, not the figurative one) and hum/sing it all the time. But then I get that song out of my system and a new one gets stuck in my head. There's not really any song that's a perennial favourite. This week I'm listening to video game music a lot, which is definitely very hummable and great for getting shit done because my brain hears it and is tricked into thinking it is time to FOCUS UP. I actually made the soundtrack public since some friends asked about wanting to listen to it also. (It's called "bastion" because it started life as a bunch of Bastion tracks but then because more general.)

what are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)

SORREL. I LOVE SORREL. It is the most delicious thing on god's green earth and I would eat pounds of it at a time if someone would just give me that much sorrel (please give me that much sorrel why does no one sell it)

favourite colour(s)?

Purple! I even think it goes great with green (hello, Piccolo looks great), so @mathemayjicks and I are gonna have a fight about this.

what do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Faces, especially eyes. Sometimes hands. But it's at least 50% eyes.

how do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

I can't drink coffee but I do like just about any plain tea. Sometimes I put sugar in black tea. I've never tried tea with milk but-- OH. OH OH OH. I found a Japanese crepe place recently and they also serve fun teas and they have this weird (?) green tea with salted cheese? Fluffy creamy salted cheese that floats on top and you drink the tea through it and it catches some cheese flavour and sometimes bits of the actual cheese? I had no idea such a thing existed but honestly it is probably my fave way to drink tea now.

favourite candle scent?

I like any that don't involve cinnamon!

sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise, definitely! I'm crepuscular generally and love both mornings and evenings, but I especially enjoy being up before the sun and having that quiet time to myself. Sunset tends to have more people and also everyone is projecting "time to wind down" all around me which is kind of a downer. Sunrise = productive! Ahead of the game!

what perfume do you wear if any?

Dislike. The autism means I have a hard time putting smells out of my mind, so I don't like it when *I* smell. It's super distracting. Scented candles are okay because I can choose to light them and put them out, but scent that is around me all day is just nope. I do like noting what other people smell like though, as long as I'm not spending hours near someone wearing noticeable scent.

what’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

I love to dance but I am also mortifyingly bad at it and the audience of me, myself, and I is plenty for me to get embarrassed in front of so I just. Do not dance when I'm alone. It's not worth it. At least if I'm with other people I can coast on their energy.

favourite quote?

I'll miss the sea, but a person needs new experiences. They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken. -- Duke Leto Atreides, Dune (1984 film)

I've never seen this movie, but I read the book and looked up trivia about the film and ran across this quote. That happened when I was... I must have been 10-11 or so (a good age to read Dune hahaha uhhhh) and it's stuck with me ever since.

favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Sticking my feet under warm/hot running water. Running water specifically, not still water. I will often run the shower and put just my feet in it while I read or do stuff on my laptop.

fuzzy socks or house slippers?  

Def barefoot. Socks are the devil. I do have a set of USB heated narwhal slippers though that I got as a gift.

what colour are your eyes?

Brown.

what’s your favourite eye colour on others?

No opinion! Eyes are just cool.

favourite season? why?

Early autumn or middle of spring. I hate cold and I hate hot but I don't mind rain or cloudiness, so those times of year are perfect for me.

cheek, neck or nose kisses?

Neck. Definitely neck.

what does your happy place look like?

Don't really... have one? >.>

favourite breed of dog?

Can't name ONE but can name several? I generally love huge working dogs, so probably top of that list is stuff like Bernese Mountain Dog or Newfoundlands or Malamutes or German Shepherds. I own a corgi so obvs I like those also, but basically because they are large dogs with short legs.

do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

I dislike the institution of marriage the way it's done these days. There's always the hetero marriage standard problem, but it goes even deeper than that for me. Anyone should be able to form unions with one or more of any other persons, that's a given, but I mean stuff like... I am skeeved out by the idea of the government being all up in my personal relationships. And if the government wants to do that for purposes of investing in the raising of children, then the civil benefits that go with marriage should be extended to literally any people who want to raise kids, alone or together. So like if a kid's aunt wants to raise that kid together with the kid's grandma, then they should get the same benefits as a hetero married couple does right now.

All that said I did end up marrying my partner of 13 years 12 years into the relationship because of Trump. Our "wedding" had only me, my partner, @sevdrag, and her partner at it. It “took place” at a bar and there was no judge or priest, because we got a self-uniting license so all we had to do was sign the paper with two witnesses present to declare ourselves married and that was it. Now we can share health insurance. Yaaaaaay.

silk or lace?

Silk! I really appreciate the craftsmanship behind lace though.

favourite weather?

Overcast, mid-high 60F (18-19C). Maybe with some mist or that kind of extremely light precipitation that I call water "sifting" down.

I tag @solosvejs!

[ju-da-su]

Hello !!! i was wondering if you have any facts on eguchi and ryohei-san? i want to know more about their friendship~ thank you and have a good day-!!

…And you ask a Wing’s fan…? ._.” (even though I actually ship these two…so yeah, I do know a few thing about EguKimu pair…I guess…? ._.”)

Will give it a try at answering this at least as far as I can remember from the back of my head though, but again, you might actually be better off asking Egu’s or Boss’s fans though. They probably have a lot more facts about these two than I do… ._.”

Under cut because it’s REEEAAALLY long anyway though…=_=“

1) Their first meeting: Egu and Boss came to know each other the first time during the recording of the anime Eden of the East back in 2009. Boss said when they first met in the recording studio, he actually was sitting on the middle seat in the room, and before he ever knew it, Egu was sitting next to him, away from the door. So it’s like this:

Door >> Boss >> Egu

He also said it’s just plain impossible how Egu did it, considered he’s a giant, but Boss didn’t even notice him when he entered or passed in front of him! Egu said he DID greet him as he passed, but for some reason, Boss just didn’t notice him…

2) Their relationship: They started out as drinking partners who often go drink together after work. However, as times go, they got closer and closer with each other. Egu usually described Boss as being like his big brother, while Boss often described Egu…as his pet…so yeah, guess that sums up their relationship (and power balance)…XD

3) That time when Egu literally could just be Boss’s closest stalker. Firstly, Egu and Boss had been hanging out at each other’s rooms. Egu used to go cook some curry at Boss’s house (because he mailed Boss that he wanted to eat curry and Boss offered for him to come cook at his room). However, for one, Egu seemed as though he moved his room every year or so, and there’s this once where he chose to move…almost next door to Boss’s place. Boss only found this out when Egu asked his manager to go fetch the contact lenses he left in his room for him, and that manager ran into Boss. Egu said he actually can see Boss’s room from his window and want to drink every time he saw light in Boss’s room. (Seriously, guys, just move in with each other already…♡)

4) Boss as Egu’s guardian: As the silly giraffe is, well, really silly…that if you know how he lives his life, you can’t stop being worried about him…(For those who don’t know, just some brief points…First, this giraffe is completely carnivorous. He doesn’t eat vegetables at all. He said the only vegetables he can eat are the ones in curry rice, but other than that, he’ll try to avoid them almost at all cost. Secondly, he’s an extremely reckless spendthrift. He did say it’s his “rule” that he’ll blow every yens he earned within a single month after he earned them on all kind of crazy stuffs, and he has no saving at all. Thirdly, he is terrible at tidying himself up. His room is like a dumping ground, full of water bottles lying around all over the place) Boss usually had to look over him. Since they go out to eat together very often, Boss would keep his eyes on him to make sure the giraffe eats his veggies. At first, Egu said he only eat veggies when Boss is around, but after a while, even his kouhais like Zakki, Kou-chan and even Kaito also kept an eye on him to make sure he eat his vegetables…of which Egu blamed it on Boss’s influence. Boss also initially tried to keep checking on making Egu saved his money, and later thought of helping Egu to save his money as well. So, in a nutshell, Boss kinda kept the silly giraffe in check.

5) Boss and Egu’s alien forms: Boss’s totally not a fan of Egu’s drawings. He always talked about how disgusting and lousy Egu’s drawings are, so much he even claimed no one can ever like his art…EVER! (of which Egu retaliate by telling him he’ll spam his LINE stamps to Boss everyday if Boss kept on arguing with him about the possibility of someone actually liking his artwork). He once said that Zakki used to send Egu’s stamp to him and he nearly ended up blocking Zakki for it. However, surprisingly enough, probably because of how close they are together, Boss actually is one of the people who can tell what Egu actually drew most of the time, being able to guess 3/3 during one of their events without any clues when Wing can only guessed them after given some clues. Also, despite all that, Boss actually BOUGHT EGU’S LINE STAMPS!!

6) In reality, they actually have so little in common: Both of them had said before that they actually shared very few similarity between each other. For example, Boss is an outdoor person while Egu is indoor, and other trivial things. Thus, they had friendly quarrels over trivial things like what kind of sauce is best on fried eggs, what’s the best curry rice topping, whether or not you should time your cup noodle, how many days before washing the towel, etc all the time (but guess that’s why it’s adorable to look at them, really).

7) Boss loves joking about Egu’s IRL problems (and leaking them at the same time). There was this one time that he just joked about how Egu was so much of a spendthrift he maxed out his credit card…completely out of the blue. (They were talking about making Egu’s buttons where they can just press them to get Egu’s usual quip like “CHOTTO!” or “USO DESHOU!” to replace Egu when he’s absent during the recording…which actually happened the most often out of the three of them. Then Boss just joked that there should also be a button saying “I just maxed out my credit card”. Egu quickly retorted back to not bring that up though. LOL) He was also the first one to bring up how Egu doesn’t eat veggies, how his room is a complete disaster, etc. Not to mention, he would actually go around and show people what Egu’s room looks like, even though Egu tried to stop him. =w=“

8) Egu is one of the people Boss loves to impersonate…very often…It’s either Egu or Wing most of the time…=w=“

9) They talked about each other pretty often even when they’re not together. Boss actually did say Egu was the guy who he hangs out with the most.

10) Boss actually joked about kicking Egu out of Trignal and having someone else to replace him “to make things balance” quite often, both when they’re together and when they’re not. Some of the people whom Boss tried to “invite” into Trignal instead of Egu included Nobu and Soma-kun. When Egu actually was around when Boss did this, he would always shouted loudly in retaliation, saying he IS part of Trignal.

11) For some reasons, if their seats aren’t already decided for them, they usually will choose to almost always sit close to each other in events and such. In B-Fes, they are ALWAYS seated together (while Wing had to sit at separate table on the other side…so much Mama actually complained about it during their events…XD ). It’s probably because Boss just wants to be able to pick on the giraffe more easily though, since he did all kinds of things to the giraffe when they’re together in event. During their recording for KiraB and BR, Boss and Egu also sits side-by-side (and Wing is on the other side of the table) and Boss would occasionally grabbed Egu’s scripts and just start scribbling and doodling on it, and even tried to tear it once when he’s not pleased with what Egu said (of course, Egu always shouted loudly for him to stop it) In last winter’s B-Fes, Boss tried to flash Egu’s shirt up to show his non-existent abs. Even in the most recent Jinrou event yesterday, Boss and Egu also sat casually together and Boss even went and took Egu’s jacket to wear himself (of course, the giraffe loudly asked him why as well)

In the end, since Boss is a tsundere and Egu is a do-M, even with everything mean that Boss did to Egu, they actually really care and love each other a lot, and appreciate each other’s presence.

There most likely are more that I can’t think of from the back of my head (or don’t know how to write it here…I do have a few other tiny trivias on these two, but not so sure how to put them in bullet points like this…>__

[tnerb90]

Slimming Down with Slim Shady Aug. 24, 2019

Wanted to do something a little different and talk about this article I read about Eminem. Last night, I went to a bar trivia night with my wife and one of the questions was about Eminem's DOC. I googled it later on and found an article where he talks about addiction and staying sober. I posted a quote below that had an effect on me. Luckily I've never struggled with alcohol or drug addiction, and can drink in moderation. But I've always sort of identified with addicts. Ever since having taken an addictions class in grad school and doing my graduate internship as a counselor at a rehab, I've wondered more and more about food addiction. It probably sounds ridiculous because unlike drugs and alcohol, food is a necessity to survive. I'm not talking about a literal addiction to food in general, but to overeating/ binge eating as a coping mechanism.

When I think of addiction, I think of words like impulsiveness, tolerance, relapse... I've certainly talked about how many times I've yo-yo dieted, got on track with losing weight, participating in 5k's and then "relapsing" and gaining all the weight back. When I'm in the zone and eating moderately, I look back and realize that I was never starved or hungry. I was getting plenty of food and it's like my stomach shrunk to match my habit of eating. I mean what's the difference between that and getting a higher tolerance? You end up feeling like you need to eat more and more to feel that same sense of relief. Impulsiveness should be the obvious one. It's a habit. It's like your mind's go-to way of feeling good instantly. Feeling shitty? Eat some fast food or something sugary and get that rush of dopamine. It just becomes such a habit that you have to think twice somehow and form new habits. Idk like it can even happen out of boredom or for no reason at all.

Like last night for example, at the bar trivia. I ordered this excellent salad that was huge and I could barely finish it because I truly felt full. My wife's meal was large as well so she couldn't finish most of it. I had this urge or impulse to pick my hand up, reach over and start picking at her fries. Because usually that's what I'll do. She's not eating them. I like fries. So why not finish them off? It was a brief moment in time, but I caught myself and remembered I was doing low-carb and just avoided it pretty simply. But I think it had an impact on me because I realized how much of an impulse it was. It wasn't out of hunger. Like I said, I was legit full from this salad. Sounds like an oxymoron, but it was a black and blue salad, with like a 1/2 lb burger, blue cheese, tons of veggies. Like I'm not kidding about that. No need for fries. I purely wanted them out of boredom or habit. So those are the little things I'm going to need to catch myself on.

Ok I think I digressed a bit there. So addiction. Eminem talked about how he knows sobriety sucks, and really does wish sometimes he could just go for a drink and be a "regular" person. But knowing he has a disease, he realized he just can't do it. He's not wired like that, and knows how easy one moment of weakness would be and how quickly that develops into relapse.

So what do I take from this? Do I just need to realize I can never eat like a "regular" person? E.g. Eat junk food moderately and expect my natural response to be eating healthy most of the time and staying ok after I've lost weight? Maybe the "lifestyle change" I need is to not necessarily have a "goal weight" because that implies I'm done managing my weight and as a skinnier person I can go back to eating like a normal person would. I need to manage this for my entire life. When I slip or choose to indulge on something I need to understand that THAT is the exception, not the rule. I need to keep the mindset that this change I'm making is for the rest of my life. And if I eat right and manage myself 350 days out of the year, over time, those few days I do choose to indulge whether its a party or holiday or trying a local food while traveling, will be insignifcant. But it has to be year over year consistency. Not this ok 350 days on now 90 days off. Then 10 days on, 90 days off. No. I can't do this shit anymore. I'm sick of it. Eating whatever I want feels amazing, until I look in the mirror or step on the scale or can't fit into my clothes, or have to go on an airplane or go to the beach. It's a really stupid short term relief for long term suffering and I need to remember that shit.

BMW

Edit: Even thinking over what I just wrote... I realize I'm rationalizing about "choosing to indulge" from time to time or slipping. I say that as though I know moderation in that sense (eating junk sparingly) is the answer. It may be true. But I started off comparing it to an addiction. In my experience, a person who is addicted to alcohol or drugs cannot ever go back to drinking moderately or using drugs moderately ever again. It's what so many have tried and failed at and almost always leads to relapse. "I can have 1 little drink tonight, I'll be ok." It's a saying (I could be wrong, but I think it might come from AA) that one drink is too much and 1,000 is never enough. Maybe what I'm scared to admit is that I need to stay "abstinent" for the rest of my life or continue to play this yo-yo losing weight and relapsing game. It's a scary thought. Like not being able to split a pizza, eat some fries, have popcorn at a movie theater... get ice cream or cookies for a dessert. It really really sucks to think about. Is that lowering my quality of life? Well I'm sure a recovering alcoholic would love to just grab a beer with the guys or party on new years eve, or have a birthday celebration. But they can't. They just can't if they want to stay sober. Is that a lower quality of life? Maybe. Like it goes back to that Eminem quote. Sobriety sucks. Wishes he could be a "regular" person and go get a drink. I wish I could be a regular person too man. And eat some pizza once in a while without going overboard on everything else and relapsing and staying obese. Is that the lesson I need to take away from all this? That I just need to treat my weight loss like a recovering addict would?

It goes back to what I said before about food being necessary for survival. Can you truly be addicted to food or "abstain from food." It sounds ridiculous because you'd starve to death. But you don't need ice cream to survive. You don't need cookies to survive. You don't need pizza, fries, or fucking movie popcorn to survive. Maybe junk food, unlike drugs and alcohol are possible to have in moderation over the long term. I don't know the answer to that.

I know I'm not ready to embrace complete abstinence from junk food yet. I still want to try moderation in the sense I talked about before. Intentionally choosing to indulge on occasion but knowing over the rest of my life that it needs to be an exception to the rule of managing my eating and controling my weight.

But if I fail again. If I relapse again and I someday start to creep over 310 lbs after losing significant weight, abstinence might be the only answer. I might be an addict and have to make the ultimate choice of having long term happiness rather than short term pleasure...

[dothewrite]

Haru~~ what do you think will your mini volleyball squad major in university? :3

ohohoho! although this might venture into headcanon territory, i can’t speak for their interests, only what they’d probably be best at. so let’s give it a go!

Kuroo Tetsurou.

Ah this guy, I honestly do agree that he’s probably an absolute nerd when it comes to things he likes. I mean, it is canon that he referenced, and in fact, memorized like the lunatic he is, the whole term for DHA (I mean, maybe it’s a normal thing but I don’t think as a very average human being I’d be able to unless I did it deliberately). Of course, just ‘cus he knows trivia might not be because he’s dedicated but just because, y’know, sometimes we know random trivia, but I think it’s something to go on. We don’t have much evidence for anything else anyway!

Honestly I think he’d be great at physics. I know the headcanon is that he’s a chemistry nerd, but I think that although chemistry is really solution and equation based, with a lot of calculating and determining chemical sequences (or something, I can’t remember, all I remember is people’s lives being ruined by organic chemistry classes), but physics is a much more clear cut and potentially theoretical science. Chemistry is very abstract, and I think with Kuroo’s ability to literally come up with lame-ass phrases that are very long and actually require a lot of creativity to invent, physics might be a more flexible science for him because you can literally wrap your mind around a single problem with a dozen different ways to solve them (if you’re good). Also, what I gathered from his play style, it’s not technical as in, put your arms at a 47% angle with the pressure of a gently tap dancing elephant, but it’s practical, it’s logical and it’s simple enough that Tsukishima can understand- heck, that we as readers understand without much preamble. And that teaching method works. So I think that a science that has a good blend of theory as well as technical mastery, physics would probably be his forte. Imagine, astrophysicist Kuroo Tetsurou, but then again, that might be Oikawa’s (headcanoned) field.

Oikawa Tooru.

Speaking of Oikawa, although that it’s pretty much permanent headcanon that he likes space and aliens, factually, that all came from a single panel in chapter 67 that flashbacks to him as a child wearing an alien themed t-shirt. It’s cute! But I’m not sure that it’s enough for an actual character analysis to focus on.

Oikawa is clearly a genius. Sure, there’s the level of genius that instinctual like Kageyama with volleyball, but for someone like Oikawa to be so incredibly intuitive when it comes to other people and intelligent about a game he’s interested in (practicing is also a skill- there’s not going to be any improvement if you’re practicing wrong). This amount of knowledge and ease of which he accesses it definitely ranks him in the upper percentile of mental agility. We all know that it’s mostly agreed on in psychology (other than solid numerical and logical intelligence like IQ tests), there are many forms of intelligence. Oikawa definitely has at least an intrapersonal level of intelligence, and also physical intelligence to some extent. Perhaps not genius level but you don’t have to be an IQ of 185 to be considered extremely above average- a 130 or so will already do that. Honestly, with his level of dedication and IQ, there’s almost no subject that he’d be bad at. I think that because of his tendencies to practice and watch and research from case studies (aka. watching matches over and over again into the late night), he’d be more interested in a research and analysis based subject that doesn’t require too much abstact-ness (like pure maths), something that comes naturally to him. Art and literature would probably not be something he’d be interested in or good at. I think that what Oikawa might enjoy the most and do best at would actually be pyschology, oddly enough. This might be a slightly biased point of view but from personal experience, finding someone who is so naturally observant, intuitive, and to some extent empathetic, it would honestly be the most natural thing for him to study other people. Although many people think that psychology isn’t a hard science, it’s not numbers but it is incredibly scientific (clinical psychology is literally one of the hardest things to get into). Besides, if Oikawa isn’t interested in psychology, there is always neuroscience.

Bokuto Koutarou.

I honestly can see him as a professional volleyball player. However, that’s a career- he’s still gotta go through university (those scholarships he’d probably get with very little difficulty) so he must choose a major. Bokuto is a little more difficult to discern because all we see in canon is his attention to volleyball, and very little else outside of it. Almost in all the slides he’s playing, or he’s eating watermelon or meat, and there’s only five seconds in the anime where we see him in his school uniform. I’m basing this purely on his learning speed/ability as well as his work ethic and natural talent and picking things up. I recall somewhere that he’s… failing a class? But don’t quote me on that- that might be me conjuring up things, so I’m not going to take that into consideration in case it’s false.

However, what we do know, is that Bokuto is good at whatever he wants to be good at. Volleyball, of course, he has a natural ability in, but I think that if he chooses a subject he’s interested in, it’d work out well. Practically speaking, it can’t be something extremely time consuming like Medicine or Law, because volleyball practice for university level intramurals (I don’t claim to be a sports expert but people get scouted into national teams from those), I think they’d have to practice honestly extremely hard and very often. This would probably lead to a drop in grades because time-consuming courses definitely don’t let up on workload. Engineering, for example, would probably kill the guy. I think that something related to volleyball, because he has a such a one-track mind, might be of interest. Sports therapy, for example, or physical education. Or even in the future he might want to venture into physiotherapy or something- which does require medical courses but I mean, as a professional athlete your retirement age is extremely early and you’d have to find something else to do with the rest of your life. Something that he can apply to his passion, he’d probably excel in and naturally dedicate a lot of time into. Bokuto, in my opinion, has no issues with intelligence but probably has extremely selective learning preferences.

Akaashi Keiji.

It might be because of my terrible memory, but I honestly don’t know much about Keiji’s preferences or interests. I’m going to be extrapolating this purely from his personality and my own knowledge of university majors. He, as I mentioned before, seems to strike me as an extremely chill person. I, as a reader, know for sure that he loves his team (otherwise he wouldn’t put so much effort into such an excitable ace) but we don’t really hear about his love for volleyball. Is he passionate about it? Or is it just a thing that’s interesting to him and he kind of stuck around because he happened to be good at it and Bokuto was interesting/really needed him to function. I’m going to take it at face value, and say that he’s decently interested in volleyball, and he’s good at it, so he decided to stay. I think that’s quite some commitment that he’s taken on despite not having a burning love for a certain spot, because Fukurodani is definitely a volleyball powerhouse so they don’t take their practices easy. Imagine throwing so much time and effort into something that may or may not be your passion- that requires a lot of toughing through the bad times and choosing to stay loyal despite the ups and downs.

I think that Akaashi might just be a computer science kinda guy. Don’t let the common stereotype fool you (although… really, the labs were really dank during finals week), there are honestly a lot of extremely social and normal people that are interested in CSE. It’s a formulaic kind of subject, but at the same time it requires finesse, because you’re literally learning to create something out of nothing from several new languages you’ve learned from scratch. You can write messy code, and you can write extremely simple and elegant code. Akaashi strikes me as the type to actually enjoy the process of forming together pieces to create something. It’s an extremely soul-sucking subject, but I don’t think Akaashi will have any trouble with it because of his dedication. Another reason for CS, I’d say, is his strange split second calculation of Bokuto’s potential responses, and also his list of Bokuto’s #37 weaknesses. It’s… quite an interesting way of figuring out your best friend, and also a very interesting and mentally challenging way to come up with a decision when you’re a setter and you have literally half a second to make a choice. I think this proves that rather than instinct, he’s extremely capable of making well informed and analytical choices, so I think something equally analytical and logical would fit him best.