#I don't get anon hate exactly but I do get some weird ass anons where it just feels like they'll say anything just to get my attention

[destinyc1020]

It’s just so exhausting hearing the same conversation from so called Tom fans every 3-5 business days. No one is saying that you guys need to love everything he does but it really does feel like some of you harp on every single thing about the man to a point it doesn’t feel like you’re fans. His agents, his friends, his family, just constant nitpicking. And I’ve never been in an fandom where people truly think they have a say or can control a grown ass man like this. And some of the criticism that you guys have are the same regurgitated criticism that film twitter bros have who have a gripe with MCU. It’s never actually productive or constructive. It sounds like you guys are mouth pieces for that sector who decided to hate Tom 2 years ago because they decided to hate Marvel and he went public with Z. It’s annoying. The man is one of the most successful unproblematic young actors of his generation. He keeps to himself and his family and friends and girlfriend but I swear there’s always this hate train going on him. You have to see how people can get tired of it especially when he’s done nothing to warrant the constant ragging.

Exactly Anon! 💯

It just gets old.... and exhausting 😩 And I think it mainly gets old not only because it's every 3-5 business days, but ALSO bcoz it's coming from people who supposedly call themselves fans of Tom. With fans like these, who needs enemies?? 🥴

It would be one thing if these people were open haters of Tom and just admitted it. Then the hate and constant nitpicking would at least make some SENSE (okay, you're not a fan of the dude.... got it).

But when it comes from so-called "fans" who are following a blog of someone who's obviously a FAN of Tom's, it just feels really weird to me....

Liiiiiiike....

Like you said, Tom is unproblematic, he minds his business, he works hard, he's talented, and he doesn't do anything wrong or offensive to anyone!

Atp, fans can't even enjoy any new project news for Tom, because fans of his are ready to complain 24/7. 🙄

The TCR Filming Announcement came out:

"Omg....I wish Tom didn't take this project on. It's just going to make people with DID look like monsters! Hollywood always does this! I wish Tom would drop this project." (Keep in mind, the series had not even started FILMING yet, let alone come out. 😒)

The FA Filming Announcement came out:

"Ugh!! I HAAAATE biopic films! I'm so sick and tired of them!! They're just Oscar bait films anyway..." 🙄

Tom Simply TALKS about a possible SM4 movie in the works later on down the line:

"I sure hope they don't do another trilogy. Tom needs to STOP playing Spiderman and do more serious indie films instead of getting sucked into SUCKY Sony and the MCU. He's being held back by his Spiderman contracts!!"

A simple TWEET comes out that Mark Wahlberg has said that the script for "Uncharted 2" is has been written:

"Nooooooo!!!! 😫 I hated that movie! It wasn't funny, it wasn't charming, and it wasn't even a 'good' action movie! I wish Tom would drop this franchise and do smthg else!" 😭

All it sounds like in Tom's fandom is this all the time.....

After a while, it just gets tiring.... 😓

[trlvsn]

zero escape preach sparked by the other ask and me wanting to interact with one of my favorite aa ranters/artists out there. what a perfect opportunity. anyways most fans would agree the writing gets weaker with each entry (some people think it peaked at the second game but imo the first is the strongest as a whole) but it is INSANE. it will mess with your head with all the bullshit it throws at you. the characters infodump entire wikipedia pages to each other. sudoku has never been more emotional. there is a Weird Girl that Does Things. the music is incredible. i doubt the characters were intended to be super deep but there was so much room for me to overthink some of them and rotate them in my mind for days. oh yeah you can rotate items in your inventory post-ds-release-aa-style it's very fun. the puzzles are as well although they get increasingly more infuriating. funyarinpa. uhh some fictional religion mixed in that you might have fun comparing to irl?? i don't know enough about any to make a valid statement on that tbh. did i mention the weird girl

all in all i think zero escape would be a 50/50 for you and you might like it more for the subtext than what the story presents itself as. except when the mindfucks happen maybe.

on that note i'd love to pitch in uchikoshi's other franchise, ai: the somnium files. but that's for another day

also i think you would really like bsd

i adore your posts omg...... i already said you're one of my favorite creators but i can't stress that fact enough...... from opening my mind to thoughts i'd never have to fueling my kristoph and dahlia obsession..... your thoughts are so worth dissecting and putting them out there. i am shit at compliments. tell me where i can find umineko.

god. i do love sudoku a lot....anon, this is pretty good advertising, noted!!! maybe i will play it someday and judge the hell out of it, but also probably enjoy some parts. who knows, maybe my pretentious ass will even like it.

and hey! i actually had a huge bsd phase at ages 14-16! i don't particular enjoy it now, though, i guess it feels unnecessary to me now. i am growing a little tired of the standard portrayals of abuse cycles and finding yourself. fiction needs to get a little more extraordinary for me at this point, or a bit more high-brow, i guess.

and thank you so much??? for the compliments??? it's insane to me how i can be one of someone's favorites here. not in a self-hating way, tumblr has actually made me think of myself as the coolest guy alive, it's just very unexpected every time.

i played umineko using a torrent file my friend sent me, so i could email you that if you come out of the shadows and turn out to be over or exactly my age, as i am uncomfortable recommending it to a younger audience due to the everything in it. i guess it's on steam as well, but the sprites there suck so bad and i don't recommend it at all.

[ms-revived-frogs]

Hi, I just wanted to thank you for bringing attention to that corrective rape shit. IDK why someone is being unhinged in your anons about it, unless they're either in denial about the role some bi women play in that, or they're one of the freaks involved and are just mad they got mass reported (I'm guessing). Frankly, I remember reading about an actual het couple where the girl would lure lesbians specifically to get raped by her bf, so it's not even "just fantasy". Hell, I even read about a similar case where I live, although it happened once and the lesbian was personally targeted. This shit isn't even new. Obviously not every bisexual woman under the sun even comes close to doing it, but the fact that it happens or is "fantasized" about shouldn't be swept under the rug because it IS a very real danger to homosexual women - so thank you for shedding light on it.

You don't strike me as a "sELf hAtiNg" bi; if anything, you have more grace and backbone in your pinky finger than the anons bombarding you - if you didn't, you probably wouldn't have bothered sticking up for lesbians of your own volition. Thank you for that, and I hope you have a great rest of your week.

Thank you! Finally someone who isn't up their own ass. And exactly this. Why can't people on this site have the reading comprehension to understand that I'm not saying "all bi women are evil" but rather "bi women as a community should work to better weed out the ones who are evil". It's hilarious how they took a single phrase and made it a whole discourse, it's like the whole tumblr user stereotype that shits themself over nothing.

Like they're more mad about me saying "bi women" instead of "some bi women + men" than they are about the whole rapey shit in the first place. It goes to show their priorities. But I'm not too surprised, every now and then radblr has some weird spurt where they go insane. Remember the baby-airplaine thing?

But anyways, thank you, I try to show my solidarity beyond just bi women, and for all my sisters ❤️❤️❤️

[thepatronsaintoffilth]

Don’t hate me,,, but all the asks,, pretty please

holy shit anon

i mean okay but holy shit

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No. The last person I texted was my best friend since freshman year. It's funny because the list of people in both our lives who are baffled that we haven't gotten together or at the very least moved in together seems to grow longer every day. She's straight and about to get married to a guy (who ALSO asked why we haven't gotten together), and the both of us value our friendship too much to have it go to shit by hooking up lol. Also she's not my type

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Nope. I don't entertain exes. I don't believe in being friends with exes, unless you started off as friends with them. And when I burn bridges, I tend to salt the earth afterwards. Once I'm done, I'm done. I'm out, no one foot in one foot out nonsense. All my hoes will be buried with me like a pharaoh, mummified and all.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Yes.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Somewhat.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

They live too far away for that, unfortunately.

6. What are you excited for?

Life in general. That sounds sarcastic, but I've almost died a lot, so its actually very true.

7. What happened tonight?

Same thing that happens every night

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

No more disgusting than when anyone else gets really wasted. Also my bar for "really wasted" is very high as a former binge drinker, so disgusting behavior to me would be like actively pissing myself and projectile vomiting.

9. Is confidence cute?

Confidence is one of the hottest things you can have. As much as body types supposedly go in and out of fashion (a really stupid concept), and people have types and preferences, confidence in ones self can tip the scale in a major way.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Probably an iced coffee. I make them myself in huge mason jars

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

2? Maybe 3? I don't have many people of any gender in my inner circle, it takes a lot to get there.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Most of my jeans are skinny.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Not sure yet. I could have a movie night with my brother or dinner out with my bestie. Or I might stay in and clean the house.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Probably this expensive ass keto coffee I can't get enough of.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Currently single, so no.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

I know I will. I've made sure of that.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My best friend. We can say literally anything to one another and never be weirded out by it.

18. The last time you felt broken?

Last week, for sure.

19. Have you had sex today?

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

I don't ever have a day where I can catch my breath and NOT be realizing some shit

21. Are you in a good mood?

I am!

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

I think that'd be cool, but I'm not a great swimmer.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Yes.

24. What do you want right this second?

My shift to end. Work is so annoying today.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I wouldn't say anything. Wouldn't want to make a scene.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

It is! I've toyed with the idea of getting it dyed like a Crayola red color, like Rihanna had back in the 2010s

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

I can laugh at literally anything, including myself, so its not exactly a requirement from whoever I'm with. I'll be laughing regardless.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

This.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Someone I used to talk with p regularly on tumblr. They deactivated one day and haven't gotten in touch since.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

No.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

There may have been a day or two where I let myself think so, but no. I wish him well, mostly.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I certainly hope so, I told them as much.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

I rarely drink sodas for health reasons. If I feel like indulging, I'll get a cola to make an ice cream float with.

34. Listening to?

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Yes, whenever I need to brainstorm or draft something without spell check or the internet halting my momentum, I'll bust out the old number 2 pencil and my composition notebook

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

I know where he lives. Or at least where he lived when I left him.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I'm not sure.

38. Who did you last call?

A doctor.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

Myself.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

I thought we had something worth salvaging.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Months ago. I think it was a special occasion.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

No

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I feel like I embarrass myself in front of literally everyone, so statistically the answer is probably yes.

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don't really tan except incidentally. If I did, I would probably do it nude, yes.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

No. What's done is done.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

No

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Probably a debt collector. Anyone who wants to reach me knows to text me

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Only if I have the house to myself.

49. Do you dance in the car?

Yes. I dance everywhere.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Held? Yes. Used? No.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

When I was 10 or 11.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Nope. Not even the cheesy ones.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Christmas is one of the worst times of year for me, or at least has been for the last twenty some odd years, so yes.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Apple!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

I always wanted to be a writer and still do. I probably wanted to be other things too but then I was told to aim for something more "realistic".

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

All the time. It's practically a psychic ability at this point. I'll be hit with a my deja vu feeling and realize I'm standing in the middle of a scene or situation or conversation that I already saw.

59. Take a vitamin daily?

I used to. Now I only take a vitamin for every day that I'm menstruating to compensate for the loss of iron - my cycle is very heavy and irregular to the point of making me anemic.

60. Wear slippers?

More often now than I used to. Usu barefoot

61. Wear a bath robe?

If I'm doing a little spa day to myself, yes. But not regularly or around the house.

62. What do you wear to bed?

Nothing.

63. First concert?

Christina Aguilera

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target

65. Nike or Adidas?

Adidas

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Takis, fuego limon. If not, I'll take hot Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

The only song I like from her is Style.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

No, I took karate for a while. I do love to dance and plan to take classes for adults.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

I'm having trouble picturing a future spouse at all (see #92 for details), let alone their career.

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Yes

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

SO many times. It's kind of embarrassing actually

74. What is your favorite book?

Mildred Pierce by James M. Cain if I had to pick one. Close second would be The Cocktail Waitress, also by Cain.

75. Do you study better with or without music?

Instrumental music gets me in the zone - classical, VGM, electronic, etc.

76. Regularly burn incense?

Semi regularly, off and on. I like sandalwood.

77. Ever been in love?

Probably.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

MLWTTKK but with the original members

79. What was the last concert you saw?

The Trans-Siberian Orchestra

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Hot.

81. Tea or coffee?

Coffee.

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Snickerdoodle.

83. Can you swim well?

Not very well. Well enough, I guess.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes

85. Are you patient?

I'm not sure.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ

87. Ever won a contest?

Nope.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Nope.

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Neither. I hate olives. They taste liked despair.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

No particular opinion. I don't think it should be that big of a deal. It's just another think it check your compatibility.

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Bedroom.

92. Do you want to get married?

No. I view marriage as an ideal incubator for raising children and consolidating land/money/power. I know for a fact I don't want to have children, so I don't think marriage would be of much use to me.

[6ad6ro]

lately i've been thinking about how commonly demanding younger people seem to act towards streamers/creators. and by younger i mean anyone under like 25. and no this isn't a "zoomers are so entitled" post. it has more to do with the... reasonability/frequency of demands?

like i saw a bunch of people complaining that a USA streamer didn't start the stream earlier so that EU fans could watch. but like... what's convenient to one time zone is gonna be inconvenient to another. that's just the nature of the earth's rotation. it should be obvious that any streamer is going to base their time on where THEY live. and while not a particularly offensive demand, it was def a naive one for how popular it was.

and i see that kind of stuff all the time now. back when i was younger and on random internet forums in the 90s, i certainly had my fair share of weird demands. if you posted a videogame ost rip, somebody would ask for it in a dif format (even tho conversion isn't actually hard n they could do it themselves). or people criticising art or writing etc? begging. requests for digital handouts. that's always been around. usually done by younger people who don't fully understand that it isn't that easy to make/post stuff and they should just be grateful to have anything shared at all?

but now it's almost normal for these ridiculous demands. it's extreme and common. like i can't tell you how many people on THIS SITE will send me anons demanding i post only the content THEY like. or in a way THEY want? and it's like... the unfollow button is right there... there's so many other people just like me that u could follow instead. do you really expect me to do all this stuff just because you asked?

and the way people ask is meaner and more demanding too. what's with that???

i think it's like... social networks. and the way corporations have designed "engagement" with creative mediums. i think there's a big difference in the way i used to watch tv? and could only watch what happened to be on? vs some kid now being able to yell at a streamer "next game".

i don't think younger people are acting entitled. i think they're just... reacting in exactly the way anybody would given the impact they tend to actually HAVE on everything. they see the effect they can have on content in real time. consistently. and creators on platforms like youtube HAVE to bust their ass to follow brutal trends just to break even. it's a vicious cycle and it has nothing to do with choices the fans OR the creators actually consciously make. it's all about the algorithms set up by the owners of the sites.

people on here complain about landlords just leeching. but that's exactly what social networks and "distribution platforms" are doing as well. and it's making the fans and creators have to act more cutthroat.

like and dislike buttons aren't actually "natural". what's natural would be someone liking something (as in the emotion) and just showing it to a friend.

people shouldn't have to beg viewers to subscribe in every video. but they do. because the platforms treat them in such a disposable way that they really do have to sell out in order to break even.

and fans don't LIKE that. bc it's fake. and annoying. but we accept it bc "they're just trying to make a living". maybe it's just the nature of capitalism to "normalise desperation"...

but i just hate it. i guess i don't have any big point besides feeling like corporations are straight up turning younger generations into these sorts of "bloodthirsty scavengers" who are just scathing in their judgement. but always desperate for more.

and they actually are "spoiled". not in their mentality? but in how distribution platforms make the creators sell out in order to get ANY attention. if you want to be successful? you have to suck off your fanbase. even if you come in with an attitude that you're just "doin your own thing and anyone who wants to come along for the ride is welcome"? it almost never works that way.

creators NEED fans more now than ever. because they are slaves to the corporations that own the sites and set up the algorithms. i don't think the fans are even fully conscious of how much impact they have? it's almost entirely unconscious.

and that's where the "demanding" comes in. people know they can be whiny and picky and it'll work, even though they don't understand specifically WHY that is.

you can see it in everything now, too. people are "just more picky". they really are. and i think it has almost everything to do with the corporations that own the internet.

i know i attributed it to younger people before... but really it's rubbing off on everyone. look at the "karen" phenomenon. and how most people are starting to agree "people do it because it works". these corporations are turning everyone into spoiled babies. they need to keep civilians down in order to stay in control. and humanity just feels like it's getting more and more complacent.

sorry i know i'm on a long tangent but ugh. i feel like social networks and distribution platforms, by design, just bring out the absolute worst in people. and i think it would go a long way to have a little bit more kindness and empathy towards the people who ACTUALLY bring you joy.

youtube the company didn't create your favorite video. the record label isn't the one singing your favorite song. you wouldn't let heartless corporate scum dictate how you treat the people you love. and you shouldn't let their policies dictate how you treat your favorite creators.

i guess i just feel like if people were nicer that this whole "evil capitalism" thing in general? wouldn't actually exist...

[musclesandhammering]

I'm not fond of the pairing but from what I've seen General public actually loves Sylki very much. Even the trade reviews called the relationship "genius" which,,,ok. Someone did a poll on various platforms, yt, reddit, fb, twitter etc comparing which ship is better (Lokius or Sylki) and it was Sylki who won by large margin in the end. I suppose mostly they just don't care because it's sci fi and a pairing in a totally unrealistic show, and after Wandavision I guess weird ships are 'in' but yeah it makes you think. But the writers already said they won't give in to the fan pressure bc they have their own story to tell (which ok, valid, you do you) but idk. I guess we will get even more Sylki in second season. Tom already said Loki won't stop searching for her

Sometimes I think casual fans are the most irritating thing about being in a fandom :/

Just as a disclaimer (bc I don’t want people coming for me): I think lokius is really cute, and I love fics/art/headcanons about them, but I never thought they were canonically romantically interested in each other. I never thought lokius was gonna be canon, and I never wanted it to (because I didn’t want ANY romance in the series), so I don’t even include it in my argument against s*lki.

Ok so….. listen. This is gonna be a long ass post, so I’m putting it under a cut. Sorry, anon, but you’re the one that opened the Worm Can.

The viewing public, in general, tends to heavily skew towards heterosexual-presenting ships. Partially because a portion of the general audiences are homophobic, and partially because a lot of non-tumblr fans are so sick of hearing tumblr stans go on and on and on about how they were queerbaited by certain gay ships not becoming canon, when in reality, said ships are trash.

Listen. I sympathise with that. I get that. I know I’m beating a hornet’s nest with this, but…. D*stiel? J*hnlock? St*cky? None of those were written in any way to invoke queer undertones, they were always supposed to be platonic, and tbfh even as platonic relationships the first two are literally toxic and abusive as hell, anyway.

So I definitely understand how a casual straight fan on Twitter or Instagram would see some of those same crazy “we were queerbaited” tumblr stans ranting about lokius not becoming canon and how much s*lki sucks and……. it makes sense that they’d be like “These people are just pissed that their gay ship isn’t canon, that’s why they hate s*lki.”

But here’s the thing. I don’t think those people realise how callous it is to say something like that when the only reason queer kids are so quick to ship any two male characters who express a modicum of affection for one another, is that they’re so fucking starved for representation in the first place, they’re willing to see queer romance in any same-sex interaction. They’re just that desperate. That’s where the whole crazy gay stan thing comes from. And yeah, it’s annoying that these people put their whole chest into defending gay ships that are total trash, but you have to realise why they do it.

So, what I’m saying is, for s*lki shippers- who are already winning, because their straight ship had the privilege of easily becoming canon despite all its flaws- to look at queer people who are frustrated to the point of tears that they were once again conned out of any form of queer rep (for the mcu’s first canon queer character, for gods sake) after actually genuinely being queerbaited this time (with his bisexuality/genderfluidity)….. and to essentially gloat that their straight ship became canon and taunt queer people by saying “oh you’re just desperate for two men to kiss”………… idk, man. It just seems real cold to me. Reeks of straight privilege and heteronormativity.

Ok, so with that being said.. let me respond to your actual ask lol.

I’m not surprised at all that s*lki won the popularity polls. I think a large reason for that is the fact that it was pitted against lokius, which sorta rubs a lot of casual viewers the wrong way for reasons listed above. I’m also not surprised that casual viewers liked it outside of its opposition to lokius- because, um, casual viewers aren’t very smart.

They tend to analyse exactly nothing, they don’t look any deeper than the surface, and if the writers of a show stick a hot man and woman together under a blanket, they eat it up. Because the narrative tells them it’s sweet. Just like the narrative tells them Loki is a greasy asshole who had no character development up until this point, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that sylvie’s the best thing since sliced bread, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them it’s completely in character for Loki to try to subjugate a group of 3 random Mongolians in the middle of the dessert for absolutely no reason other than his “narcissism”, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that one throwaway line about liking “a bit of both” is somehow this groundbreaking example of lgbt representation, and they eat that up too……… See the pattern here?

And as far as being concerned about the pseudo-incest angle, I don’t even think casual fans even dug that deep. They literally just saw two main characters- a pretty white woman and a hot white man- doing cool fight scenes together and giving each other goo goo eyes, and they were automatically sold.

And the writers saying “we won’t give in to fan pressure, we have our own story to tell” is honestly complete bullshit. What the hell is the POINT of working for a corporate film company and telling a story on screen if not to please the fans??? They do what they do to get people to watch their shows to get lots of money. That’s literally what they’re there for. Mike Waldron must have a pretty damn inflated sense of self importance if he thinks his own “artistic vision” or what the hell ever is the priority here lmao.

And I wanna be mad about Season 2, I really do. But at this point Season 1 ruined the character so much for me that I legitimately don’t even care what direction they take him in.

[rpbetter]

I'm so tired of roleplaying with people who don't put half the commitment I do into our threads and muses. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm a weirdo or like I don't belong for that. Any other hobby and people wouldn't care if I took it seriously. Why is roleplaying different? How can I keep going like this if I'm getting rudeness from all sides? I can't even go outside my already tiny bubble and find more partners, because I always see people putting roleplayers like me down and it's exhausting.

"Why is roleplaying different?"

Well, Anon, I know that was a rhetorical question, but I have some thoughts on that. To the surprise of no one!

I strongly believe that this is an issue with how fandom has come to dominate roleplaying. As I've said before, it really wasn't always like that. Of course, you always had canon characters and almost all RPers were invested in a fandom or two. The difference was that online RP was once viewed much more like tabletop RPGs are.

When the RPC became a near-total offshoot of Fandom, a lot of shit changed and very rapidly...and within Fandom, a lot of shit was changing very rapidly as well at that time.

RP has always been something looked down on (though, at least no one ever accused written RP online of being literally demonic like they did DnD, or made correlations to murder sprees like they did LARPing, so there's that) as strange, not the good, understandable sort of dorky.

Part of that is almost certainly because of the difference in the way society views writing vs the way it views hobbies like gaming - writing is seen as an intellectual pursuit and a job, gaming, even at its most negative points of view in wider society, has been seen traditionally as a downtime activity only.

But. RP was not looked down upon from within Fandom or in roleplay communities themselves like it is now.

When the whole experience of fandoms themselves became extremely mainstream and open, it welcomed in a ton of shit ideas and behaviors that were not previously prevalent. It changed RP, too, along many of those same lines.

When your hobby is considered objectionably weird by people within the fandoms you love and RP in and that makes you a sort of lowest-tier fan, the viewpoint of RP to RPers becomes something lesser than a valid hobby. When RPers are the same people who engage with Fandom monetarily, anything not monetized is passively consumable content, including RP. And RPers are trying to both deflect shame and struggling with wider society's mixed messages, that now hit them everywhere online as well. Shit like, "you don't have to monetize your hobby, it's okay to just make really good cross stitches of memes for yourself" and "if you're not paying me, you have no control over me."

We seriously do not view RP as a proper hobby anymore, that's why. There are many factors to that, those are just few, but that's the ultimate answer. It's not seen that way because it's not valued in the same way.

I think much of the problem with muns losing their entire shit over anyone else approaching the hobby differently, dare I say...more seriously, is related to a lot of complex psychology about self-esteem, control, and anxiety. So many people here struggle with serious self-worth and confidence issues, and I think to many of them, whether they realize it or not, when they see serious RPers, they feel like that's an inherent judgment and a danger to their own enjoyment. Because RP, as writing, is a skilled hobby - the more you practice it, the more skilled you become with it. Meaning that someone who approaches the writing seriously is going to be at a higher skill level.

Enter the way we're training to think about writing again - when they see someone who is very practiced, skilled, and confident with their writing, the learned idea is that they're somehow superior in a nasty, personal way.

I most certainly do not think that makes it alright, it isn't, and I'm not very tolerant of it.

It's absolutely alright to engage with RP in any way you see fit. If that's extremely casual, it's a minor hobby for you, that's great! I'm so happy you're enjoying yourself, and I mean that in no facetious way. But not when that is the only form of it respected and accepted. It's just as alright to have RP as your primary, serious hobby!

The only way we can all enjoy a hobby with such great variance within it is by respecting each other's variables, not by vilifying them. It's recognizing that, no matter how much you enjoy the mun and/or muse, they're not engaging with the hobby in the way you are, it's not a good fit to write together. (Please, begging y'all to be friends with those who are different, not enemies, shit's sake. You've not got to write together to be friends!) Instead of labeling them and being hateful. Different =/= a threat.

And, to go off a bit lol y'all demonizing serious RPers really don't get that there are some intense tones of ableism and more going on in that narrative of yours, huh?

Not that anyone requires a reason to be serious about any hobby, but when people pick a hobby like RP as their primary one...you should probably have the maturity to consider why that is. Could it be that they focus on a hobby they can do from their homes and that requires low physical involvement, and has a degree of separation from direct socializing, for a reason?

Serious RPers tend to be limited in their ability to pursue other hobbies. Mental and physical health, region, finances, and ability to spend time outside of the home are all very common limits for those who "take RP too seriously/are addicted to RP."

Maybe take five seconds away from your own issues to consider that the person you're shitting on for something so minor as a difference of importance of a hobby might be the full-time caretaker of a special needs child, having to remain home and on a very small income. They might be chronically ill or suffer from agoraphobia. They might live in an area with no hobbies of interest, affordability, or at all...or they might live somewhere that is incredibly dangerous for them.

I honestly do not know where these people have been that they've been aggressed at by serious RPers, but that's usually the excuse. (I'm not saying it has never happened or does not happen, before anyone goes there.) The idea that serious RPers are extreme elitists who are demanding that other muns do what they do, how they do it. That they expect other muns to be online and RPing all the time, that they be "available for entertainment at all times" at the cost of real-life matters. Having the expectation that threads not be dropped constantly or that a writing partner not leave for months with no contact is neither of those things.

In over two decades of RPing across almost every platform type that has existed, I have literally never seen that be either a singular RPer-type problem or one that serious RPers are even more likely to deal in. I've seen the opposite, actually. Which is not a condemnation or a statement that all casual RPers do this, just what my experience has been. And one that actually stands to reason based on the way they view and engage with RP - quick replies, quick entertainment, and very low commitment to threads, muses, or other muns. Of course, it's annoying to them when a more serious RPer is unwilling to do rapid-fire style quick, short threads from an ask with them, but is writing the lengthy replies they already owed instead.

That's probably a factor as well, in here among a plethora of misunderstanding/unawareness of differences - for many serious RPers, it's not easier and more fun to write short, quick threads. So, what a casual RPer is seeing is that they're willing to put all this extraordinary effort into a massive reply to someone else while their easy, fun, quickly done thread is waiting in line.

Misunderstandings and unawareness breed hostility, period. And there is a hell of a lot of those things in the RPC.

What serious RPers are expressing are either boundaries/expectations or frustration. Not a demand that you be around all the time, but an expectation that you leave them alone if you're not also a serious RPer who will be committed to threads and muses. Not hostility and elitism, the frustration that it's already difficult to find muns who will work out before you add in the majority rule of casual RPers.

It's incredibly disheartening, frustrating, and honestly, a bit anxiety-inducing to constantly be the weird one, always have few choices, and to be at risk of being Problematic purely because you take the hobby seriously. You can't vent without someone jumping on your ass to remind you (even if you said numerous times that "real life comes first" and "people can do what they want") that omg, people have lives, people can do what makes them happy, it's just RP.

It's so upsetting when you think you might have found a good writing partner, then, you see a PSA they've reblogged about how it's a "hobby, not a jobby," and "no one owes anyone anything, ever." Excuse me, as that last one is a direct quote, let me redo it so it is verbatim: "no one owes anyone here anything - EVER !!!"

I said I wasn't very tolerant :)

But seriously, exactly what you've expressed is why I'm not...it's another form of controlling others instead of trying your best to control your own experience, and it's often extremely hateful. I'm not tolerant of anything like that, it's no longer supporting preferences at that point. When your preference is the only one that will be tolerated in the community, it's not a preference anymore.

It's something that makes others feel isolated, afraid of harassment, and depressed. It is a hobby and it isn't supposed to make you feel like that!

And, no, absolutely the fuck not lol the "answer" to this isn't that you're taking it too seriously and need to take a break. I'm so tired of seeing that shit tacked onto RPH responses and vents and PSAs. You're not saying that RP is making you feel this way, "just take a break and come back when you agree with everyone else" isn't a solution.

Of course, if you do feel like your time here has become so upsetting? Yeah, obviously, you should try to find some other things to supplement your downtime that make you feel happier again. Engage in some other forms of writing just meant for yourself, or that can be published as fics. Spend some more time on a game you enjoy for a while, or get invested in a new one. Learn to shape bonsai or make no-knead rolls. Whatever would make you happy as a hobby when you're not here.

Other than that, however, well...we're not going to be implying on this blog that you're too serious and need to take a hiatus until you have no emotional investment in your hobby. That's insane. I'd not say it about hiking, martial arts, dog obedience competitions, hobby farming, or painting either.

I wish I could think of some solutions as to where you could look that wasn't like this, but it's definitely the majority of the RPC. It doesn't help that, due to this, serious RPers have a tendency to quietly stick together and not venture out into the RPC. They're just not incredibly easy to find.

I will say that they tend to be:

novella - if you're not here for serious RP and sticking around for a while, you're not going to invest the time and energy into particularly lengthy writing

older RPers - I would say that twenty-five is probably the youngest, with early thirties to late forties being the majority

in fandoms with a large adult base of fans - even if it's a franchise friendly to, or even meant for, younger fans, if it has a particularly active adult fanbase, it's a better chance of finding serious RPers in it

as above, old fandoms - fandoms that have been around for a long time tend to have more serious RPers in them

fandomless OCs - tend to have a higher chance of being written by serious RPers than canons or heavily fandom-involved OCs

RPers who do not do a ton of advertising for their muse(s), but when they do, they don't advertise them based on activism points or trends

slightly more likely to not have an emphasis on highly aesthetic blogs, graphics, icons etc. - they use a modified basic tumblr theme, low on graphics, their aesthetics are not on-trend, for example

anti-content policing/"write what you want" style muns

muns with more extensive rules pages - they plan to be here for a while, they take writing, RP, and their muse(s) seriously, so, it's a bit more important to them to head off problems before they start

those with older characters/FCs - be that literally in age or the character being one that has existed for a long time

"stay in your lane" style muns - if they're opining on fandom or the RPC, they must really be angry about something

those with numerous and detailed headcanons - for example, their response to a HC meme ask like, "what's your muse's favorite ice cream flavor?" is going to be treated seriously, not simply answered with "mint chocolate chip because my bby is gross"

As usual, not a complete or perfect list. I don't fit some of the things on there! It could give you some things to look for when trying to find other serious RPers, though. It's based on observances from someone who was never a casual RPer, even as a minor (me, obviously), and maybe it could at least keep you from continuously running into hostility about your approach to RP.

I've honestly considered making a list of some sort expressly for RPers who are on the more serious end of the spectrum, but...in a RPC back when things were dominated by serious RPers, I did that sort of thing with a RPH I had, and it still got labeled as being a list for and by Elitists. I don't know that anyone would want to put themselves out there for potential harassment on tumblr, you know? It was a joke then, just having a group of RPers label you as an Elitist. Here, you get told to kill yourself, and none of us need more of that shit, right?

Try to hang in there, Anon, I know it's upsetting, and I'm so sorry that something fun has gotten to be like this.

Try to understand that these people are coming from a place of irrational defensiveness, often in response to bullying themselves at some point or feeling bad about themselves. That doesn't make it right, but it does make it easier to not take to heart.

And keep at it! In my experience here, once you find a group of people you fit into, it really is...A Group. Especially among RPers who are ostracized, they stick together, they promote each other, and they're very happy for their mutuals to become your mutuals. Once you find them, it unlocks so many opportunities for the interactions and type of RP you've been missing!

[gffa]

Dude the one response you wrote to another anon about having a hard time being a Real Person ™️ and interacting with others online bc of anxiety and stuff hit me so hard bc like BIG SAME.

I seriously appreciate how honest you are about this, bc I have very similar issues and I try really hard to leave comments on fics or reply to comments on my fics and sometimes my brain just says NO. And then too much time passes and then it's just awkward to reply later?? And then like, if you comment on a fic and the author replies and it opens the way for more conversation... Am I supposed to reply again??? I mean like obvs I know I don't have to, so usually I don't bc STRESS. But. ???? Idk.

What's the worst is that I have this same issue in "Brick Life" (IRL?)... Like, texting/emailing/chatting with friends and aquaintences??? How?? I overthink like EVERYTHING. And I wish I could just say, "yeah hey I have these problems so sometimes I can't reply! Or my reply might come off as weird to you bc I spent an hour rewording it and now I sound like an alien!" But I don't know how??? And I've tried doing like PSAs but ppl are like "oh you're so brave for admitting you have mental health issues. I'm so proud that you're reaching out" and then they go on with their lives like I don't have debilitating anxiety and seem to expect me to interact with them in whatever way they think is "normal" and im like 🙃🙃🙃

Anyway. Socially anxious high five from me to you. And you totally don't have to reply to this at all if you don't want to! I just read what you say sometimes about having anxiety and stuff and my brain goes "!!!!!! SAME HAT!!!!!"

Have a good day/night/time 💞

GOD, I REWROTE THIS RESPONSE LIKE FIVE TIMES, no, I’m not kidding. Yes, it’s funny because that’s what this response is about but also I really did. So, I’m going to start with this: And I wish I could just say, "yeah hey I have these problems so sometimes I can't reply! Or my reply might come off as weird to you bc I spent an hour rewording it and now I sound like an alien!" But I don't know how??? ^ Say exactly this!  Seriously!  It doesn’t have to be a big, huge conversation piece about how you’re anxious, you can just drop that in quick at the beginning, just tell the person, “Hey, brain weasels are really wriggling around up there today, so this took me awhile to cough up, so if it sounds like it’s weirdly terse or something, that’s not the intention, I’m just anxious about it.” and then go right on into the conversation. I’ve found that the shame of social anxiety is a real pain in the ass, but so is letting it define me.  It’s a thing I have!  It sucks massively!  I have to deal with it every day and in almost every conversation!  People want to help, and when I can tell them specifically what I need (usually it’s just that I need some extra understanding if I sound stilted or terse or disjointed, to know that it’s not that I’m being an asshole, it’s that I’m herding cats up there and this was the best I could get out in the moment), it goes a long way, because people are very understanding! Or, for example, sometimes I go on a little too much because I can’t stop myself and then I’ll tack on something like, “LOL GOD SORRY I know this is obnoxious, I just had FEELINGS, I’ll let you go now.” and throw in an emoji something to lighten the mood. Or, if you’re friendly with someone and they’re like, “What’s wrong, you seem off today.” and you can reply with, “[tosses a rock at] SOCIAL ANXIETY SUCKS AND I HATE MY LIZARD BRAIN.  (Okay, I’m being dramatic, but sometimes you gotta be over the top about these things!)” Or even something as simple as “/Social Anxiety Having Nerd Trying To Be Totally Normal Level Of Cool To Interact With” at the start/end of something as a reminder to people. Make it silly, even when the feelings are real, while also letting yourself off the hook for feeling this way! A lot of us are dealing with anxiety or other various forms of mental health issues, many of which are going to be with us for a long time, if not the rest of our lives.  It can be exhausting to carry this shit around, to feel like you have to do so much more work than other people do just to have a goddamned conversation.  And there are absolutely times to be deadly serious about it, especially if you’re having a bad day and need to vent or just need some commiseration.  Figure out what you need from your friends, what they specifically can do to help, but also have some humor with it and remember that, hey, if other people can fake it until you can’t tell they had anxiety, then you can fake it so that others can’t tell you have anxiety. Remember that there almost always will be more chances in the future to interact with someone, another fic will come along, another conversation will come along, another meta will come along, there will be more chances, so if you have to let some pass by because you don’t have the energy to get up over the anxiety hill to comment, then that’s okay, too.  A lot of us are dealing with this stuff and some missed chances are because we’re human. I mean, if you do get up the energy to respond and don’t know where to go from there, it’s okay to not respond back!  It’s okay if they don’t respond back!  People are but blobs floating in the currents of the ocean, sometimes they bob closer, sometimes they bob further away, but they’ll always come back and go away and come back again.  And that goes for you, too.  If responding to something makes your brain go N O P E, then don’t stress about it.  If you’re just kinda nervous, remember that other people can’t tell NEARLY as much about you as you think they can. Everyone is up their own asses about their own stuff, so you can be a trainwreck over here and hardly anyone is going to notice because they’re too busy thinking about their own trainwreck!  I promise you, people are not NEARLY as perceptive as you fear they are, when it comes to piercing the veil of your social anxiety, and so it’s okay to just let stuff slide or be a little twitchy, because you’re a person and so is everyone else.  ♥

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

ANOTHER VICTORY

Michael “Riz” Ariza x Reader

Anon asked: I just want you to know I had a dream where I had sex with Riz and he was PACKING below the belt 😏 and it was great and Omgggg I will pay you if you can write a nsfw fic about that. (Also include doggy style bc that was the position 😏😏) please and ty so much ❤️❤️❤️

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: NSFW, smut and Riz being daddiest.

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits to: @fromthesixteenthfloor

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​ @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

With the cardboard box of Jose Cuervo on the bar, you tie your hair in a pony-tail to place the bottles in the shelving hanging on the wall. Ray came with Happy last night, and the prospect is pretty gentle with you. You two also have a lot of things in common, so always it's nice to see him again. You're laughing about one of his bad jokes, watching sideways the tensed jaw of Riz, some meters away, sitting on a table and playing poker with some Mayans and some Sons'. He's not even paying attention to the game.

“So, when you finish?”

“Ah...” Turning to your wrist to watch the clock, you calculate the time. “One hour, more or less, why?”

“We can go to that new foodtruck you said last time”.

“Sure! I would like it. A friend of Letti works there”.

“I'm done”. You hear Riz's rough voice, seeing how he throws his cards on the table, getting up of his chair.

Walking towards you, he grabs your forearm turning you to a strange confusion, whilst he's practically dragging you through the hallway straight to the dorms. You don't ask. You know exactly what is going on, with a naughty smile on your lips. He opens the door of the room you used to use, pushing you inside, before closing it back. He looks furious, but not at you, but because of Ray and his little shame of flirting with you.

You're about to cross your arms, trying to look outraged, when he nails his hands on your hips pulling you into his body with a dry hit, crashing his lips with yours. Growling at the slight lash of pain, you tangle your hands in his hair, enjoying the dirty and angry kiss he's giving you. His hands moving fast, lifting up your shirt over your head to throw it somewhere, while yours are traveling down to the belt. He's hard because of the excessive and exaggerated situation, and you can't help but feel blessed because of his jealousy. He's not the kind that could hit another man, but fuck you harder to mark his territory and make himself sure you're satisfied enough to not find another guy.

“What 'you gonna' do, papi?” You ask with a husky voice and your lungs looking for some air.

He doesn't answer, getting you undressed as you unzip his jeans walking towards the bed. And when he can, he turns you under his hands to make you kneel on the mattress spreading your legs enough to enjoy the view for a second. He doesn't even need to play with you, 'cause he knows you're wet enough when he behaves that way. Supporting your weight on your knees and on your palms, he guides his reddened glans between your legs, till he's able to pound you with all his strength making you moan loudly with closed eyes.

“Shit, Riz...” You growl, tangling your fingers in the sheets, while he nails his on your wrist.

Every thrust is angrier than the last, hitting your soul without regrets as you like. You're sure that someone turned on the radio outside of the room, just to not hear you. It's a little uncomfortable, but you love screaming out his full name when you finish.

“Oh, god... just like that, papi”. You gasp biting your lips, arching down your back to rest your chest on the bed sinking your head between your arms.

Riz spanks your ass two times, making you squirm for a second. You enjoy a lot the sex with him when he's riled up. 'Cause it's not because of you, but he takes it out on you giving you such pleasure, always being careful of not hurting you. One of his hands tour your back, tangling it in the pony-tail to lift you up with a jerk, fitting his body better between your legs and your back supported on his chest.

Thrusting you with a non-stop move, he puts that hand grabbing your throat, looking desperate for bite your neck twisting it and leaving a wet trail of saliva. Your groans get louder placing your fingers around his wrist to make some pressure on your skin, while his other hand goes down your low belly till find your disregarded clit.

“Fuck, baby...” Riz moans on your ear, stroking your wetness with his forefinger, drawing an imaginary road through your back with kisses, pushing your chest again to the mattress.

His hands holds your waist now, pounding you faster with his head leaning slightly back. His gasps dancing with yours all around the room. He's a self-confident man and he trusts you blindly, but Happy's prospect drives him insane in a bad mood, and he hate everytime that kid is swarming near you, as if he thinks that he could have a chance with you. But you're Ariza's property and everybody knows that fact. Not as a trophy, nor a possession, nor a piece of meat in a barbecue, but the love of his life, being bewitched by you.

Maybe sometimes he has a weird way to show you that he loves you, but it's part of his charm and you like it. Licking your lips, you start to feel how close you are of cumming because the pleasure he's drowning you into. Riz pulls himself out with a disappointed growl in your throat, turning you over the bed.

“I wanna see you cum, baby”. He says laying in top of you, forcing your legs to wrap his waist.

He digs his hardness without expecting, arching your back a little because of it, looking for his lips to kiss him and suck his tongue in a soft lick, whilst your moans floods the room. Some heat chills run through the skin of your thighs, bristling it. He loves your face when the ecstasy wraps you, seeing that it's the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

“Fuckin' Michael Ariza!” You scream out, closing your eyes and your mouth opened, while he chuckles without stopping till he fills you with his seed, with a guttural howl full of pleasure.

“Me vuelves loco, mi amor”. (You drive me crazy, my love). He whispers tiredly on your ear, kissing gently your neck and your collarbone, trying to recover his air.

You laugh covering your mouth for a second, caressing lovely with your feet his legs. Shaking your hair then, you get comfy under his body, still inside you.

“I bet you will can't to have lunch outside”. He says then, kissing your lips slowly and enjoying them.

“Yea', congratulations. You always win”.

“This is my most desired victory”.

“I'm pretty sure, Rizzy. But now, get outta' my room, 'cause I need to take a shower and keep working”.

“At your service, mi reina”.

Pulling himself out and cleaning the mess he made, he gets dressed back while you're staring at him with a funny smile on your face. Before leaving, he leans to you with a hand placed on your neck, to give you some last kisses all around your cheeks and temples.

“I love you”.

“Yea' sure. Go fuck yourself”. You chuckle pushing him to get up.

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Hey guys,

Yu, Rai and both Jakes.

Actually..If I talk about my feelings I'm pretty well. Don't tell Jake I said that, but I couldn't be happier about our situation. I mean, we can talk again. Without me being kidnapped and finding a weird Tumblr profile of him. (Which we think was a set up by one of the entities of my world since he obviously doesn't have one. Jake thinks it was goldies doing, I on the other hand don't believe that. Don't ask me why, but it feels like goldie wouldn't do that. And it didn't help me either but only made problems. I was distracted because I was writing the profile (you read it, right Yu? I don't know about the others) and angry. Like, really angry.)

Putting that aside, Jake called me, like he promised :) And it was the longest phone call I had for some time. Most of the time I talked and he didn't get distracted once, just listened to me and everything that happened. And then he started cursing, which is kind of understandable. He apologised for being into stasis. And for this other version from before the 'time setting back' thing. Because I don't find a name I'll call it TSB from now on.

The only problem I have now is going to work, I guess I'll take me some vacation...But at least I'm not as scared of the raven-ass anymore. I mean, I still am, but in the moment I know his steps. And I am not alone.

Jake, I intentionally write the next part in red, please don't read it. That's for Yu.

I know you think that Jake sees you as a threat. If it still is like you wrote in the letter. Jake knows that, too and he doesn't like it. You know him better than I do, of course, but without saying too much...I think it's quite the opposite. Talk to him about that. Even though it's probably not the best circumstances I think he enjoys being with you :)

The next part, purple (damn, I need more coloured pens), is for you Jake.

You already told me that you don't like that Yu thinks you see her as a threat. I only have to say one thing, if it still is like that, talk to her about it. Earlier than later.

The new thoughts about the blood ritual are really interesting. But please don't put yourself in this danger (or not, but I think it's understandable what I mean?) if it isn't necessary. But I also agree with Rai, I thought the same thing for a while. That you desired having someone, Jake, with you. It sounds plausible.

What more was there...Wait, let me reread the letters.

Oh yeah, Rai! One, till now my crow crew seems to still be in stasis (Jake realised that now, too) and two..Please try to take care of your health, yeah? I'm worried for you.

Lis🐾🔥

Ps. Damn...I'm writing this exactly when I wanted to leave the house (I mean, I sadly cannot hide my face forever).

Two new things...I got a message. I mean, it was a threat (because I am the obviously the bad girl that kidnapped Hannah), but I don't care. Maybe that means the stasis is slowly dissolving!

But number 2...I didn't get the vacation. My boss called me almost immediatly. "Under no circumstances [a word is blacked out] Liska. We have July and Alice, Tim and Jenny all want to take free time, too. You are one of our best workers and we can't afford you leaving now. You have no children so you have to wait. Also Max told me that you don't have any problems in family."

So long story short: He wants me to be there tomorrow. Argh, if he would pay me like he's talking that would awesome. And I'll kill Max when I see him next time. (My cousin that thought it was fun to try and steal my work so we both got the rank of 'one of the best workers'. The only problem: Max' title is official. -.- Overall, I'm so much more annoyed than some time earlier. Maybe I should ask Jake for help

Lis,

Okay, the Crow Crew drama is fading a bit, so I'll answer this now. Sorry if I seem disjointed at all, I'm probably going to be going back and forth from conversations to this letter a lot. I can't afford to have them all think I'm compromised, I need to focus on getting out of here and I don't want to deal with their pressure on top of everything else.

Yeah, I don't think the Tumblr profile was Goldie either. Goldie seems to try to be very much a "hands off" sort of entity, like my own. The Tumblr profile thing seems a little out of character for at least my Jake. At least, publicly answering your submission certainly was, though he may have panicked since you sent it in on anon and answered publicly without really thinking about it. I guess I could see him having a Tumblr profile for purposes of following people on social media and watching what they post, though. And then deciding he likes the media and posting a little bit of impersonal things that can't lead back to him. Probably my Jake will say something about that when I hand this letter over to him, stay tuned.

Yeah, I at least read some of the things you sent that profile, and I showed what I had to my Jake too. I'm not sure if I read all of it, since it was a bunch of printed-out screenshots in an envelope, but I read the ask where you told him you hated him (fair at that point but ouch that's got to have hurt) up to when you said you'd found Hannah. After that you sent me your letter telling me time had turned back and the Tumblr screenshots ended.

I'm glad you and Jake managed to talk things out. I was sort of worried about how he'd react, but it sounds like he took it pretty well, considering. I'm... not exactly sure he should be apologizing for the stasis, though. Or the TSB!Jake. Maybe especially not the TSB!Jake. Jakes seem to be oddly different from timeline to timeline, just based on what I've seen of them. TSB has been one of the most different so far.

Oh. One thing I should mention that you might not have seen from the profile: The MWAF used your phone to mock the TSB account, and mentioned that TSB wasn't the only person who could hack, and the MWAF blocked TSB from finding your location. Might want to warn your Jake about that.

A vacation sounds like a good idea :/ It's really hard to go back to normal life right after tragedies or trauma. It feels like the world keeps moving on and you're still stuck in place, and you just want to scream at them that they need to slow down, can't they see that the world is

Good. I'm glad you don't feel alone. It's easier to deal with this stuff when you're with someone else, even if it's not physically.

(Jake, my Jake I mean, if you're reading over my parts of these letters skip to the ||| now please.) I'm not saying he doesn't also enjoy my company. I can tell he does. That doesn't make me not a threat. Like how early on I suspected Thomas, but still thought he was a nice guy and enjoyed talking to him. (Obviously I don't suspect him any more XD ) Still, if you think I should talk with him about it, I'll try to find a tactful way to bring it up.

Yes, because obviously tact is my greatest strength. Sigh.

Like I said to Rai, the underlying desire thing is definitely possible. That'd either mean I'm more obvious about how I feel for Jake than I think I am (very possible, I'm not great at hiding how I feel in person) or the entity has some level of telepathy/mind reading. The reason is that chessboard. Since Jake likes chess, it's clear at least to me the entity expected him to come here at some point. I THINK, if the underlying desire thing is true, I can manipulate myself into wanting specific things by doing things like writing it over and over and repeating it out loud when doing the ritual, but I'm not sure.

|||

It's probably good that your Crow Crew is in stasis, like how it's objectively probably good my outside life is going on without me. Less drama, less pressure.

Huh. The harassment is definitely a promising sign. Maybe you should try contacting Darkness again, same way as I suggested near the beginning? That feels so long ago, but it really can't have been much more than a week, can it?

You... didn't get the vacation. Fucking hell. Is there ANY way you can convince your boss? You really should have time off. Maybe your Jake can help you come up with ideas.

Or at least maybe he can come up with a way to have your boss give you a bonus for your trouble -_-

Oh shit Cleo's interrogating me I'm gonna hand this to Jake now

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hello, Lis.

I agree with Yuvon: "TSB" acts markedly different from myself. There would be no benefit from me promising to be there to find you in the moment, and indeed I would have been falling for a very transparent trap. Even in my possible state of panic, I cannot see myself being there physically, much less revealing myself physically to authorities in the process, unless I was playing the role of bait in a counter-trap. While it is plausible that this was TSB's plan, TSB gave no indication that Yuvon or I could tell that this was the case. Of course, I would have done my best to be there physically in the aftermath of the kidnapping, but not in the moment.

I also agree that the Tumblr profile seems to be out of character for both myself and for "Goldie", though I hesitate to judge TSB's actions by what I myself would do. I seem to vary in surprising ways across universes and even from timeline to timeline, based solely on your current Jake's reactions thus far. I do actually own a Tumblr profile for the exclusive purpose of following social medias I wish to track, but I used a random username generator website for the username and not my own name, and I certainly never posted anything.

The news about the MWAF being able to hack is new to me; I must have missed that the first time I read through the screenshots. That is quite troubling. I suppose I will need to be more careful in future.

I am sincerely sorry your request for a vacation was rejected. I do not know how much you intend to separate your personal life and the Duskwood case, but if your stasis is truly wavering, you may be able to reveal some measure of the danger you are in to convince him to let you flee the area for a small while. Especially since you mentioned in your Tumblr post that you saw a raven note in your wor

Oh.

You need to leave that place. Now. Do not inform your employer of the danger you are in, reveal nothing to him or to anyone, take unpaid time off if you need to. Get your cousin and anyone else you care overly much about out of there too. Invalidate any information you can your employer or coworkers knows about you. Do not tell the truth to anyone, even your cousin. Make up any excuses you need to, ask your Jake for help with ideas if you need to. You may also wish to check that the coworkers your boss listed who are going on vacation are ACTUALLY going on vacation.

This is a priority, Liska. You need to tell your Jake all of this too, especially the part with the note in your workplace. You need to get out of there.

Good luck.

—Jake & Yuvon

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Actually for me it's pretty weird that the most popular ship in Free! is Makoharu. I mean, they give me like zero romantic vibes, if not Rinharu I would've definitely shipped Sourin. It's the main reason I hated Sousuke when I watched 2nd season for the first time - I saw him as a threat for Rinharu (now I just don't like him that much, but I decided to let Rin has his best friend, lol). Maybe it's just me loving rivals to lovers :)

Well.. for me Free! was never that kind of anime where there are other ships, but honestly after several years of watching anime and lately discovering that people ship Wei Wuxian with Jiang Cheng I kinda lost my faith in people lol And yes, I also truly don’t get those ships, where there are zero romantic vibes, but I got used to seeing this already.

I think I’ve talked about Makoharu only once, I usually don’t do it cause as a ship it’s so illogical to me that I just don’t see the point of wasting time on this lol I feel like it’s gonna be long answer so I’ll split it and after “***” I’ll talk about my bro-rinharu-shipper Sousuke.

I’m not gonna throw a debate if it’s the most popular ship or not, but I just want to say that I don’t think that it's really called shipping Makoto and Haru, since firstly, let’s talk about Makoto as a character (which is the main problem in this whole thing tbh) cause from what I saw the Makoto the MH fandom created has nothing to do with the real Makoto. Like the dude is scared of dogs, ghosts, bees, water and I forgot what else; covers his eyes when he sees anyone even in swim trunks and gets embarrassed easier than a nun (apparently you can’t even unbutton the collar of your freaking jacket!!!!!!!!!!! oh lord!!!!!!); crumbles under everyone in this anime including Hiyori and can’t even talk back. 

And suddenly like half of this fandom thinks that Makoto is a dominant top apparently. We seriously laughed our asses off seeing that, I mean even my mom (who’s a teacher btw). I’m like... I have a sister who’s majored in psychology and I myself in literature (like I seriously promise we ain’t stupid) and we just seriously don’t understand.. In what Tarzan’s ass does he suit this description? Dude can’t even answer properly while being offended. Like maybe they like Makoto’s twin brother? Because real Makoto does not have any dangerous dark side, seriously, this ain’t “8 dogs of the east” lmao.

I appreciate their friendship at times, but I never was a fan of him, because I don’t really like people who treat everyone equally (friends and strangers) and think that some asshole deserves as much love as the closest friend. I just don’t understand this life position and don’t like those “world peace” guys anyway. I mean, that fish died moment in the books was when my brain died honestly. Like I get it, dude is sensitive, but... seriously?

And for me being kind is not really a personality. I mean, hell, sometimes it’s no good to be kind. There is a fine line between being kind and being a mop you know.

And sometimes his behavior is really cringy to me. Like during the funeral and during Haru passing out in the book and during many things that are very serious. I just don’t think he’s the person you can rely on at times. I mean at first I thought he’s a steady shoulder, but somehow in all serious situations he doesn’t do anything useful.

Like I might be in the minority here, but to me when you know very well that you panic in the ocean you don’t go there trying to save somebody, it’s not brave, it’s just plain stupid (like it’s not like the tent was far, it was fucking next to him, all he had to do is wake up a pro) so by the end we had to rescue two instead of one, just because he’s dumb af.

He also panics a lot which I really hate on people. I’m sorry but like panicking ppl are the only worst. It reminds me of one of my life situation when my sister was badly hurt and we needed to keep our heads cool to act quickly and do what was necessary asap. And I’ve seen ppl behave like Makoto in situations like this and man it’s seriously no fun, it’s annoying. Like when you need to help somebody and someone panics beside you it pisses you off. And he does it even in little things like when he yelled Haru in the ear while driving JUST BECAUSE A CAR IN FRONT OF THEM BRAKED I mean omfg I would seriously yell “shut the fuck up, you pussy!”

And it all honestly keeps getting worse and worse like the way he’s written, his behavior just buffles me so much. Makoto in s3 just murdered me tbh. Like he didn’t help with anything, he didn’t bring anything to the plot, you can just erase him, he only sat there anyways. And the way they pulled his “dream” out of his ass was just a second-hand embarrassment tbh. And he’s not even Haru’s emotional support anymore. He’s just... I don’t get it. There were literally scenes where he was third-wheeling or just forced into that looked laughable. 

Which brings me to the second point. From what I saw many of Makoharu fans are mostly Makoto fans, so they just want what’s good for him, and since he has no life goals whatsoever (like after he dropped his “I dream of making children like swimming” thingy like a hot potato and was like “training children.. but look at Rin and Haru” I really lost my last marbles watching him) they apparently don’t care for what Haru’s dream is and that he said openly that he wants a future with Rin.

Like I get that everyone has their tastes, but like what.. two people who are crazy about each other since twelve and blossomed a dream of having a future together and the thought of being with each other got them through and they finally have what they wanted.. this is not a trend anymore? Mutual romantic love is not a trend anymore? Like I even without novelization can see that (and I quote Rin word for word here) that “every time he sees Haru his heart beats so fast he can’t calm down” and quote “Haru sees Rin and he’s shaking, he closes his eyes desperately trying get rid of the image, but the pain in his chest doesn’t go away”.

I am personally very happy that Rinharu are finally together and will be doing what they wanted in their life by each other’s side, cause they’ve been dreaming about it for too long, they’ve been thinking about it for  years. So not wanting them to have that is very weird for me. And the argument that Makoto somehow better than Rin for Haru is so invalid, I always laugh. I guess it depends on what you want for yourself. But honestly like you guys better find someone who make you want to reach for the stars and make you heart skip a bit everytime you see him.

So I as a huge fan of Haru want my boy to fly and now I have all the canon proof for those who were blind that Rin is the only one (been said) who makes him feel that way. So all those anons who kept writing to me how relay with Sosuke, with Rei and what baffled me the most swimming with Ikuya was just as emotional for them can finally shut it (lmao I’m sorry).

***

Now... Sousuke, my bro, the first Rinharu shipper on the village who helped them to get together is a threat? Okay. Well, I actually like s2, there are some dumb episodes but s2 actually to me showed how rinharu relationships are different from anyone else. There are literally two whole episodes and several scenes of how the bROMANCE prevails over BROmance.

Sousuke and Rin have typical brothers relationship. From their secret handshakes “parent trap” style to the fact that they draw them exactly the same with his real brother. I mean I don’t know if anyone noticed, but in 3x11 they drew Sousuke doing the exact same teasing move with Rin, that his older brother did to him in 3x01, and it’s definitely not a coincidence. Which means he treats him like his little bro, and not just that. I have lots of proof.

You know, I had a friend back at university who had an older brother who she was very close with and she kept telling me about how he kept testing her boyfriends if they’re good enough... I mean Sousuke was doing it with Haru since Rin has told him that he has found his one and only. And it never ever looked like he was possessive of Rin and was like “he’s mine”, it was always like “he’s yours so make sure you make him happy you loser”, he even stalked Haru to see if he still swims alright which is really funny (like okay dad), so by the end of the season when Rin lovingly looks at Haru and says it was all worth it, Sousuke looks very content like he was sure that they’re all good now.

And that moment like in Yakusoku where Rin dropped Sousuke as soon as he saw Haru, I honestly don’t think it’s the kind of jealousy people think it is. It’s like if I asked my sister “do u want to see the new avengers movie” and she’d answer “sorry, I already promised to go with my boyfriend” (not that this would ever happen, but let’s imagine that she found herself her nanase) I would be fucking upset too, but I would kinda get it (if it’s a love of her life I mean). Or like literally imagine you lived with your best friend for years and suddenly she wants to move in with he boo. I mean it happens sometimes. But it’s not the jealousy really, he’s just sad because he knows that he needs to let Rin go and he won’t spend as much time with him as he did before. Sousuke knows how much Rin loves Haru, plus after he saw that Haru is as good as Rin told him, he started to like him himself so he was worried about both of them. 

And I love Sousuke, he’s our godmother. I’d rather have him on the international team than Ikuya but he sadly he doesn’t swim breaststroke or back and we only have one butterfly and one freestyle spot xD

I’m sincerely saying as a person with two siblings that I really don’t see it. It’s just there’s a huge difference between brothers and lovers. And you can’t call Harurin bros. It’s just laughable. Even if you haven’t read anything and just watched the anime.

I mean I think it’s easier to see if you try to imagine Haru in Sousuke’s place in any Sourin scene and see how it would’ve went then. Like do you remember when Sousuke asked for cola and Rin went to get one and there was only one can left so they rock-paper-scissored it and Rin won and drank it?

Now imagine if Haru was there in Sousuke’s place. I can tell you 100% that Rin would’ve just given him the can. And then he would’ve looked at him with that face he makes when he’s content just by watching Haru eat, you know.

I mean it just how I see it. And there are a lot of comparable scenes in s2 that bring me lots of evil joy, but I won’t tell lmao.

But as I said before to me there’s a huge difference between bromances and bromances. So I mostly don’t get most of these ships. I don’t understand anything in this world apparently lol but I only see Rinharu since the first time I’ve watched it, and then I’ve read everything and realized that I’m right, so I’m ok with all this xD 

[tired-aliensoul]

Hey I read your post about your financial situation and I just wanted to ask how you got so far without giving up. I'm going through something really bad atm so I constantly feel pessimistic about the future. I want things to be okay I just don't know how to make it okay.

Well, I’m not sure if my answer will help you at all, honestly. A lot of it has to do with just who I am at the core. I hate spending money. I hate relying on others. I refuse to do something that gives me no enjoyment. It took me seven years and three degrees to get where I am at today and I don’t mean I have a master’s. I have two associates and a useless Bachelor’s. I also have thousands in student loan debt. I also hoard money. Any cash that I make doing one of my side-gigs, I put in a jar and leave it there. Save all your coins. Don’t use them to just make an even payment, just put them in a jar or piggy bank and when that bitch gets full, spill it out and, (you don’t have to be as weird as me who sorts it by coin and then counts it and then either scrounges for random change or puts back coins that aren’t going to give an even deposit number) deposit that shit in the bank. Right into savings, unless it’s going to help you pay for something needed. I’ve always had a personal desire to just make life better for myself and work my ass off to get it. I have fought for where I am now and I have had to ask for help from my parents, not financial but I had to ask to move back home because I was going to go through a rough financial time and needed to be somewhere that I wouldn’t have to pay rent, but still had to pay for my own things. I understand that asking for help from family or friends is not feasible for everyone, but if it is, swallow that pride and ask. It will help in the long run.

Honestly, if you want to start working toward a better future, get some sort of degree. I highly recommend getting a technical degree in something. If you want to be in the medical field but you don’t want to be a nurse, there are quite a few options for you there. Dental Assistant, Veterinary Tech, Surgical Tech, and Massage Therapy are a few technical degrees you can get and technical degrees can either be a certificate or an associates. Many, many options exist with a technical degree and man those programs really prepare you for exactly what you are going to be doing. It’s not like university where you have to take a shitload of bullshit courses that have nothing to do with your degree. Technical schools nix that shit and give you what you need to know. Anyway, you’ll spend about 1-2 years in school and technical schools are loads cheaper than universities and some community colleges. I understand that school is not for everyone, but I’m against the whole movement that goes against it. Get a degree in something, it will help you out. In fact, financial aid that is awarded is more than enough to help you pay for it. Do not be afraid of student loans, just be smart about them. I’ve paid off one loan already. You don’t need a bachelor’s in order to get an Entry level job that will give you full-time hours, benefits, and a big enough paycheck to live within your means.

Just, I dunno, just don’t give up. Even when things are looking dim, start looking for things that can help you better your situation. Never doubt yourself. I doubt myself a lot, so when I was 19, I got a tattoo that always reminds me that I can do what I’m putting my mind to. I know that seems silly, but it means a lot to me and it really has helped me when my mind has tried to get the better of me. Find your inner will to do what is necessary to get what needs done. Hell, get on medication if that will help. I did. Some part-time job companies are now offering health benefits to part-time employees so that you have access to that stuff. Starbucks is big on that, and they also have a tuition reimbursement program with Phoenix and their online degrees. Plus, you get to go home smelling like coffee and you get a free pound of coffee a week or some other coffee/tea based product like a box of tea or K-cups. Their food is relatively healthy and you get a markout when you work so your lunch is paid for. I worked for them and they helped out a lot of people, including me.

God, this got long and I feel like it’s sort of rambly and maybe I preached a little bit about degrees and whatnot, but had I known about technical colleges when I was graduating high school, I wouldn’t have fucked around with universities and would have been living a life like this five years earlier.

Things will get better as long as you know that it will. And I do mean ‘know’ and not ‘believe’. People don’t give up on things they ‘know’ is true, but people give up on things they ‘believe’. Know that it is fact you will have financial security some day. I knew it, and I got it and now I want better of it. Nothing wrong with taking a journey, just make sure you come away with a better you. Refine your plan as you go to accommodate. I have now declared 10 different majors of study in all types of my schooling. So like, adapt as needed.

I’m sorry if this doesn’t help you feel any better. I know it will get better for you because you want it to. The journey might be long to get there, but I know you will get there. I have total faith in you, anon.

[kingsofeverything]

Lauren don't stress yourself too much, you'll get it done and enjoy the process 💕

so i’m sure that people have heard me say this before, but i’m new to this whole writing thing. that includes all of it. so like.... everything i’ve written has sort of just tumbled out of me. not even kidding:

my first fic? i bought some lamps. at an antique store. and decided to write a fic because why not? i thought it would be the only one i’d ever write, so i filled it will every larry/1d cliche i could think of.

second fic? (running over thoughts) i wanted to see what it was like to write in present tense. also we were in the middle of a hurricane and i was bored. also i live at the beach. also i may or may not have pulled a lot of that stuff from my actual life. also one day i’d like to write a sailboat fic, which that one actually started as (more irl stuff)

3rd fic (messtival) i wanted to see if i could write from someone else’s prompt and not have smut

4th fic (yours in fractions) was talking in my gc about tropes and asked for them to throw some out at me. amanda @alarrylarrie said bed sharing. there ya go. NOW, this is the first time that i struggled with writing. i split it up into sections as i was writing it, i mean maybe you could call them chapters, idk. but i got to the last section and I HATED IT. so i decided to do nanowrimo. yeah. so i dropped YIF and left it alone for 30 days while i wrote:

my 5th fic, but the fic that i held onto until big bang. (how fast you fall) when we were tossing around ideas and tropes before YIF, one of amanda’s ideas was a love actually xmas au based on the porn actor stand ins. i thought it was fucking hilarious and there ya go. i wrote my ass off for the entire month of november and let me tell you, that fic was a mess. A MESS. this was the first time i tried outlining or even coming up with a plot at all before i wrote anything. it was weird, but basically it was just some words in a list that i went back and added to as i was writing. and it really did take like 6 months to edit. 

OKAY so then i went back and fixed the end of YIF and i’m happy with it now. but so i had to take an entire month away from it to be able to look at it and find a way to fix it.

my 6th fic! so my real 6th fic is actually a fic that i don’t think i’ll ever finish. it’s a really sad fic and basically i went into it thinking “i want to try to write something that is angsty and emotional but with a happy ending” and that was the first week of december. we all know what happened that week and i’d rather not discuss it, but basically, i just dropped it and couldn’t write anything for a like 10 days. which brings us to my actual 6th fic

6- (going to set himself on fire) it’s very short. 2k. wrote it in a couple of hours. just needed something funny, light, pwp, just........... something to take my mind off of things and there it is.

7- my most popular fic by far - (fall at my door) - i started it the day after xmas and i think it took me like... 2 weeks to write. and all i started with was the idea that i wanted to write a famous/famous fic. i got like halfway through the first part (louis’ pov) and started thinking “ohhh i should show harry’s pov” BUT i didn’t start planning his pov or anything? ugh i’m a mess. seriously. going back and lining shit up was such a clusterfuck. but it was fun!

8- (collide) found out a drabble is supposed to be 100 words exactly, thought i’d try it out.

9- (mercedes boy) @louandhazaf nic’s bday fic. sometime around nye i decided to write bday fics for my gc. i think it was right after i posted a scene from famd for @nottooldforthisship b’s bday. and lol ash @unintentionalarry was like my bday is in 4 days lolllll so she got a scene from famd too! lol 

10- ok so right after famd i signed up for the hp1d exchange - my first exchange! and omg i hated the first like month and a half of it because i didn’t like what i was writing AT ALL. i ended up scrapping an entire fic. but i uploaded my 10th fic (the oldest magic word) in the end of march.

11 & 12 (with a word) and (possessing all of me) are pretty much pwp sequels to famd and mercedes boy. both are bday fics. for @someonethatsfunny and @fratboylouie 

13- (it had to be you) the when harry met sally au. really the first “idea” i’d ever had for a fic. like when i first read larry fic, i was like oooh this movie would be cool as a fic. and then i forgot about it. and then i was watching gifs of billy crystal with the boys when they were on corden and i was like... i should write this now. so i did.

14- (one of many) a pwp bday fic for @theonewiththebluemic :D

15- my vegas fic (stranded in a dream) - written because i was told we weren’t welcome so :P

16- (soft wings) - bday fic for @alarrylarrie and ngl i struggled with it. this whole writing “difficulty” started after the vegas fic. idk.

17- my summer exchange fic, which i finished like.... idk a while back. before it had to be you, i think? maybe right after? can’t remember. 

in between all of this i’ve started like..... idk how many fics that i’ve (temporarily) abandoned. a puppy trainer fic. the sad fic. an exes to lovers fic that takes place during a hurricane. a restaurant au fwb hate to love fic. the other hp1d fic. a soulmate fic. a drunken leg wrestling fic (idk? i’m sorry?). a praise kink fic. 

my current wips that i haven’t abandoned abandoned are my robot fic, maybe that exes to lovers fic, a camper famous/not famous fic....... i think that’s it? idk. 

ANYWAY, OMG ANON I’M SO SORRY.  i’ve just rambled and rambled. i just haven’t been motivated to write at all. and when i have i’ve felt very ehhhh about it. whereas everything else that i’ve written above, i’ve really had fun writing. so basically.... if it’s not fun, i’m not into it. and i think that’s really lazy of me. so there’s like this weird cycle where i’m like “but it’s a hobby so it shoud be fun, but if i don’t write i won’t write, and i should make myself write because sometimes it’s hard.........” blah. but also irl stress and bullshit and maybe that’s what’s bothering me. idk.