#I don't praise myself that much

[alabyte]

It's not Star Wars, but it's still my art, so bear with my scribbles for a bit :DDD

This is a picture I drew half an hour ago. I made it fairly detailed and rendered, but overall spent a couple hours on it - which isn't much when it comes to drawing for me.

And this one I drew almost three years ago when I first bought a graphical tablet. I barely understood what layer effects were, didn't know what a brush stabilizer was, and took great pains to understand how the graphical editor settings worked. I spent almost all day on that doodle, and I was very proud of it at the time because I had done the best I could.

Anyway… If any of you have wanted to take up drawing, but are afraid it's too complicated and you'll get shit no matter how hard you try, go for it. Go ahead and draw. Find buttons you didn't know existed (I just found out last week that one tool in SAI has different modes), use tools by rote, try techniques, palettes and effects you've never tried before!

Don't be afraid to try and learn.

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

[blu3b3rryj4mp1r3]

why do I feel the need to filter myself all the time? as if people care if I want to use coloured text, if my art looks bad or if I spell words wrong lol it's MY blog, why do I care so stupid much what other people think? it's the same thing even when I'm writing in my diary, I'm like, "Oh NO what if I DIE and someone reads my diary?!?!?!?! they're going to think I'm cringe" BERRY you stupid idiot! stop caring so much what people think, you're not alive to appease others!! just do what you want!! constantly thinking about what other people think is so draining you don't even have the energy to talk to people because you're so worried about how you're being perceived. PLEASE STOP!!

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

One of Leeli's littlest kittens looks like Mozart* and my heart is healing. <3

(~tw kitten death~: *Mozart is the kitten I got my username from and also the protagonist of The Restoration Saga- though her name has been altered to "Mozarita" there. She was born in a litter of four kittens I had when I was 12 and they had birth defects that led to three out of four of them dying. Mozart was the first one who died, and I have blamed myself for her death- and for not being with her when she died- for fifteen years now. But now I have these little darlings, my second chance. <3)

[lucyvaleheart]

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[yuriyuruandyuraart]

HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY @zu-is-here!!!!

i can't believe i missed your b-day again!! i had to make you something this year and so why not draw the bean the legend, the sweetest baby ever as a gift!!! >:Dc

thank you so much for all of your sweet words and making your blog one of the most comforting places to be at!! hope you're having an amazing day<3333

[moltage]

i've tried everything, different ways, different times, different places. i just can't seem to find my passion for writing back.

[purgatorily]

something that has alwayssss baffled me about the audio drama world is that 85% of its creators tend to genuinely believe that because they made something, no one should criticize it. the amount of times i’ve seen creators screenshot or cite negative reviews (that are just a person saying they didn’t like the show for very normal and understandable reasons) complaining about how mean and ungrateful the reviewer is for not considering...that a lot of hard work was put into the show? well, let's just say that number isn't zero, and it's truly baffling.

i'm sorry to break this apparently brand new information to you but. that's how every single piece of art ever put out into the world works. just because you put a lot of effort and care and love into your podcast doesn't mean people aren't allowed to dislike it, or express that dislike. obviously people shouldn't be unnecessarily rude, but also this is the internet and sometimes people just are. and i think you're allowed to be hurt by that, because that's normal, but i don't think even then you're allowed to argue the fact that they are just allowed to dislike your creation. you are not entitled to someone's good opinion. you are not entitled to someone's positive review. and whining about the fact that some people don't like your work is just immature and unprofessional.

[lord-squiggletits]

whats ur fave megop fic uve written?

I'm not sure honestly 😔 I'm one of those people that hates rereading my own writing, and even though I will sometimes reread my own stuff and go "wow, past me was so smart and cool and clever for writing that," I'm not sure I enjoy any fic in particular? It's not just a matter of self-esteem either.

When I write a story it's sort of like me exorcising a set of thoughts from my brain, and once the story is finished I more or less stop thinking about it because when I finished writing the story and posted it, that act allowed me to say everything I had to say and resolve all the thoughts that prompted me to write the story to begin with.

I guess Pay Unto Evil is probably my favorite fic mostly because of how proud I am about it being such a long project (178k words I think) that took me a year and a half to finish, but it's literally the first novel length project I've ever completed. That being said, I'm not really proud of the earlier chapters of PUE (like... 1-4 or 1-5) because I feel like even though they're good, I didn't have as firm of a grasp on the characters back then as I did around chapter 6/7 and onwards. So it's a mixed bag honestly.

[waywardsalt]

my grievances with botw

Breath of the Wild is... undeniably a fantastic game, but it is very genuinely not the kind of game I like, and since I started playing it I’ve been enjoying it less and less so... I have a pair of problems with it that I’d figure I’d go into, as well as some stuff that, while weak in botw, were executed better in past loz games.

(small shoutout to @zeldanamikaze for encouraging this and having some points that i agree with and had some examples that i hadn’t thought about much initially)

Again, Breath of the Wild is an objectively impressive game, and I’m not trying to sit here and convince you that it’s a bad game. I’m just trying to point out things that detracted from my enjoyment of it, especially compared to my enjoyment of other Zelda games.

Before I get into the big stuff, I’ll just shoot off some quick little things that I think could’ve been improved:

- The dungeons generally felt like glorified shrines, and while they had cool mechanics and ways to access them, they were short and more or less pretty simple and all have similar visual and musical identities.

- Side quests and their rewards didn’t feel worth doing half of the time. I barely remember any notable ones off the top of my head and the longer ones just gave mostly generic rewards, which I suppose makes sense considering the limited amount of truly unique items in botw.

- Seeing the same enemies over and over again made the combat feel more like a chore than something to really engage with, not to mention that there is hardly any difficulty scaling beyond just making the enemies more durable.

- The story is fine, but in my experience, even seeing people go into more detail about the meanings of events, I never really cared for the events or the characters presented, since you don’t actually have to directly interact with any of that to play the game. Hell, you don’t even need to interact with the story at all to beat it, so the focus certainly doesn’t feel like it’s on the story.

- It would be a lie to call the soundtrack bad, but it’s sparse usage makes it hard to truly appreciate and the fact that most of it is meant to be more atmospheric generally makes them a bit less interesting to listen to on their own, though I will admit there are some fantastic tracks in botw, usually being some of the boss themes.

- While the Sheikah slate runes are cool, they feel very bland after a while, especially compared to the varied items seen in previous games. They’re good tools for an open world, but not much fun otherwise (the bombs were good though, since they had a variety of uses).

And that’s the quick stuff- again, mostly courtesy of @zeldanamikaze, since these are the examples I’ve seen her mention.

I have two big points that kind of encapsulate why I dislike this game and still adore the older games, that being: the minigames and the items and their relationships to dungeons.

Breath of the Wild is a very different game than what came past it, and I am very aware that it is a vast departure from those other games for a reason. However, this leads me to view it not only simply as a game not up my alley, but also as kind of inferior in some aspect to those previous Zelda games. Breath of the World is first and foremost an open world game, seemingly putting a focus on gameplay enjoyment above all else (not to imply that the ‘else’ is bad because of this, but I do think that the ‘else’ suffers in comparison to other Zelda titles.)

It may also be worth mentioning that the other Zelda games I have played is the following: LoZ NES, Link’s Awakening (Original and Remake), Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Phantom Hourlgass, Skyward Sword, A Link Between Worlds, and Triforce Heroes. I have also played both hyrule warriors games as well as loz 2, wind waker, and minish cap, none of the latter 3 i have finished or currently have access to.

1: The Minigames

Minigames are common in Zelda games, so of course botw has a few scattered around it’s world. Botw’s minigames are very different than the minigames seen in past Zelda games, mostly due in part to the limited array of items and unique gameplay gimmicks available in botw. Botw’s minigames usually focus on different forms of archery, gliding, or rune usage: all things integral to normal gameplay. At best you get rupees or cosmetic items from most minigames.

Botw’s minigames are just slightly altered situations of normal gameplay. The bowling is just using stasis except this time the game has a special little arena for it. Pretty much all of the archery games are either just counting how many deer you can kill or if you can just hit some targets on horseback. There’s one race I can think of and one gliding activity I can think of.

This makes sense, considering that there are a handful of other non-minigame activities to engage in, but these minigames feel... hollow. None of the minigames feature gameplay exclusive to those minigames or feature gameplay only used in certain parts of the game. They all make use of readily available mechanics in botw, so they’re like tests of skill- but otherwise not really any worth giving a second-thought unless you want to see how good of a glider or archer you are or grab some extra rupees.

But they aren’t very... worth it or generally fun within the context of botw. It’s just another way to do something that is available to you pretty much all game. They don’t feel unique, they just feel like a task.

Previous Zelda games (obviously) have archery minigames and allow you to use archery when you get the bow and from that point onward. And yet the archery minigames are made unique from the rest of the archery in the game; ocarina of time’s archery minigame is simply just shooting at targets, but the possible rewards and the simple fact that not often are you going to be continuously shooting arrows at enemies make it a bit of a novel experience within oot. The minigames in past zelda games take advantage of the items and area-specific mechanics: they usually include item-exclusive mechanics like bombchu games, or take advantage of more specific mechanics, like the minecarts in skyward sword, the masks in majora’s mask, or being able to control gongoron in phantom hourglass.

They also gave genuine rewards- empty bottles, quest items, ship parts, new masks, heart containers or pieces, kinds of stuff that are hard to get and very valuable. They’re worth doing for reasons outside of just a little activity. The minigames in other Zelda games do really enhance the experience by taking advantage of situational mechanics or giving a unique usage for some items.

You can probably get every item in botw without playing all of the minigames. They have little actual purpose. But in other zelda games, they have a purpose in the greater game and provide novel experiences within the game.

2: Items and their relationships with the dungeons

Obviously, compared to past games, botw’s ‘dungeons’ kind of sucked. They’re fine in a vacuum, with interesting gimmicks and the like, but they’re really little more than glorified shrines with four different-but-similar bosses at the end.

In my opinion, one of reasons why the divine beasts just... fell flat compared to other zelda dungeons is the lack of unique items in general. The runes in botw are cool and useful but you get them at the start of the game and never get anything new. You are give every tool you need to beat all of the dungeons the moment you finish the tutorial.

Older zelda games’ dungeons being tied to their respective items is a big part- to me- of what makes those dungeons so good.

Obviously, the theming, musical themes, and larger layouts and more varied puzzles make them objectively better experiences, but the way they interact with item acquisition makes the whole thing even better. 

Even in a link between worlds, where you can get every item whenever you want from Ravio, each dungeon is still tied to one of those items, and one of those items is needed to successfully complete that dungeon.

The dungeons in past Zelda games are practically complex tutorials on how you can use your new items. They are where those items shine and they are designed so that those items are used to their fullest potential within. And then you must then use that item to defeat that dungeon’s boss, and you usually have no chance of beating that boss if you don’t make use of the dungeon’s associated item. It’s like a final test for the item, seeing if you know how it works enough to complete the dungeon and use it against a boss’s weaknesses.

The most recent example, and probably one of the best, is needing to use the whip to tear off koloktos’ arms in the ancient cistern, but the classic scenario of the bombs for king dodongo works well enough, and the bosses of majora’s mask requiring you to understand how the transformation masks work. There are definitely some bosses that require no use of dungeon items (moldorm in the tower of hera, either ghirahim fights), but the item’s usage is still showcased prominently in their dungeons.

Outside of the dungeons, too, the progressive acquisition of items makes more areas and secrets available to you, giving a much more palpable sense of progression through those games’ worlds.

In botw, you get every tool the moment you are released into the rest of hyrule, so while figuring out what to do with those tools can be fun, the sense of progression is dampened by having every item from the start and nothing you gain beyond that being needed for anything aside from a nice little ability to make things easier.

I’m not really too sure exactly why I never found botw fun the way everyone else does, but I think lackluster minigames and the general lack of items that aid a sense of progression are parts of it.

[theshalesky]

I hate how, when i'm asked questions about myself, for example in a personality quiz, my mind automatically goes to the answer that has to do with intelligence.

Of course if i could choose a magical gift i'd choose wisdom. Of course i want to be remembered as the smart one.

Or do i? Is that really me, or is it just the only thing about me that has always been praised, that has made me feel loveable and good enough and even special?

[eros-ghoulette]

The question is: Am I egoistic for wanting attention? Like not in the way that I get attention from everyone (i would hate that), just a few nice words here and there. Oh, I did something basic? Great, now please praise me. Wait, I didn't rot in bed all day and really got up to do something on my own??? Praise.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Holy bleeping mother of all the gods in heaven, hell, and everywhere else that has ever existed.

Liquid Death really DOES live up to the hype!

I haven't tried the plain water yet, but I splurged a little on a grocery order and bought the Mango Chainsaw, which isn't only mango but has *orange* in it? And it's so freaking GOOD. (If you like the taste of orange and mango, of course.)

This was a special delight because I had found a carbonated black tea with mango thing on sale in the same order, which Sounded really good in theory, because I like black tea and I love mango, but it was in fact Nasty. I'm not sure how they made black tea with a little lemon and mango taste sour and bitter and sharp instead of refreshing and mildly sweet, but they sure did.

This one's lightly sweetened, so that may be a factor, but every sip is a Delight and I am so, SO glad I bought this.

I like water itself well enough, but this is going to make re-hydrating after barely drinking enough in the past 24 hours Quite Nice.

(I don't usually do food reviews, but this genuinely Wow'd me.)

[lovingherwasgay]

I'm thrilled that midnights won AOTY but also sad, because if TTPD turns out to be the fantastic album it already teases it is, we will have to live with the fact that it stands no chance of winning AOTY so shortly after her last win

[hikeyzz]

i wasn't expecting this aspect of recovery and surgery anddddd ngl it's kindaaa triggering in a way i didn't expect either fck