#I feel like I should make an effort to actually learn math

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[anemoiashifts]

why you should get off social media if you want to shift.

before you scroll away, i want to challenge all of you to read all of this. this is one of my longest blog posts ive ever made with over 1,000 words. if you can or can’t make it through the whole post, please let me know how far you’ve gotten in the comments below. you’ll get a surprise at the end 🥳 !

social media isn’t an inherently bad thing. however, outside & inside of the shifting community social media (specially tiktok) has been shown to effect our attention span. this shows in my comment sections on my longer tumblr posts that i also share on tiktok, such as this one, when people say things like “im not reading all of that” or “can someone summarize” also “what method should i use” and “why am i not shifting”.

let’s start with the basics of shifting. shifting attempts need some kind of focus; an affirmation, a visualization, some sort of task like counting. if you’re someone who struggles to focus, you will struggle to learn how to meditate or any hobby or task you’re tying to accomplish. all shifting methods are is a meditation. while no, you don’t need a method, I would make the argument learning how to meditate & focus your attention to what you are trying to manifest is an important part of shifting. if social media creates an instant dopamine reward without little effort, the appeal of shifting seems less. this is why i think a lot of people actually like thinking about shifting & creating content for it rather then doing it — because trying to shift requires some level of work without instant reward even if it’s as simple as laying down & setting intention.

if you try to shift & you wake up in your cr still, that isn’t as exciting when comparing it to the idea of shifting. rather, if you post an edit or a video about your dr you will receive a dopamine hit through video interaction (comments, likes, how social media platforms are set up in general). even maladaptive daydreaming can fall into this category to some. the interest in attempting to shift dies because we feel like we aren’t gaining anything from it when that’s not true. when laying down & attempting to shift, we are meditating & training the brain to focus on what we desire most: we’re correcting our attention span.

social media destroys the ability to focus & what we focus on & give our attention to allows room for that desire to grow, to become reality. if we’re always so overwhelmed with information & have so much to stress about, it’s important to recognize what we consume & how it effects our mood & mental health & how it can sometimes delay our manifestations. im not saying you have to be positive all the time, but we’re exposed to so much that it’s important to check in with yourself every once in a while. this can be where shifting content comes into play vs non shifting content. think demotivation, you don’t look for it, it just appears. & how many times have you opened tiktok to look something up to only be distracted by a completely unrelated video that automatically started playing ?

what i mean is people are telling you what shifting is, what works for them (which you could register subconsciously & believe that’s a step by step guide), rather then self discovery. people are telling you what shifting is, how to do it, what to think, what to script, what method you need to do, even if they say “this may not apply to everyone” because of how it’s being presented & spoken about. the said popularity of a method or definition may also come into play & feeling like something has to be right or work because other people align with it. its like math class, the teacher shows you one way to solve a problem then says “your allowed to use your own methods” & shows you one example of it then goes back to using the original method in class that you don’t understand.

another reason is opinions. when being shown so many people speaking on shifting & their thoughts it can be overwhelming. it’s a great thing so many people are willing to talk about their experiences in their desired reality or want to share their personal breakthroughs & opinions on what shifting is, it can be confusing. while everything i just listed is well intended, leaning about shifting through places like tiktok & not venturing out & doing your own research — or just searching methods online & trying it yourself while going in blind — it takes away self discovery.

so, how do we learn about shifting ?

when i say get off of social media, i don’t exactly mean all social media. yes, all of these things happen across the internet but the difference with tiktok is that the fyp isn’t so prominent. this of course also applies to other feeds that are generated, but a lot of the shifting community is ok tiktok so im using the most known example. it’s important to search & decide what information you consume & seek out rather then being told something without stopping to think for yourself. you want the chance to be able to create your own thoughts. your own unique thoughts you have about things make them personal & your own beliefs become stronger when you realize things on your own. it’s more satisfying that way.

places like reddit & searching for questions you specifically have so you don’t have ten more questions shoved in your that you didn’t have before that cause you added worry or unnecessary fear is helpful to keep in mind.

there is room for grey area. not everything needs to be black & white. there should be no consciousness vs multiverse theories because two things can both be true at once. Ike thing doesn’t have to be against something, you don’t have time pick a side. it’s all theory & hypothetical. it’s okay that we 100% don’t know (& will probably never know) what shifting truly is. not everything needs to be discovered to preform it “correctly”. you don’t need to be a master at painting to paint, you don’t need to know how paint brushes are crafted or how canvas is stretched to preform, anyone can sit & learn as they create their first & second & tenth piece. even people who have painted & sold their artwork for millions, don’t know the great’s techniques. they know pieces of them & take what works & discards what doesn’t serve them.

this post isnt to negate any of the good social media has done or sound like my mom & preaching about how social media destroys your brain…but i think we should be mindful of what we consume & how it makes us feel & if we’re speaking for ourselves or parroting others words. there are so many great people & advice out there & im not trying to take away from that. i just think taking a moment to stop & digest what we’re seeing is healthy. this blog post has been a long time coming but i know a lot of people wouldn’t want to hear it. i can promise you, you are more addicted then you think — myself included. i just don’t wake you guys to look back in 10 years & have spent more then half of that looking at a screen when there’s so much life to be lived. i don’t want social media to take away from what we are all here for which when we come down to it is living. shifting is literally wanting to experience life & i can’t help but find it ironic that this is the opposite of everything we wish to accomplish through this practice.

please take care of yourselves. much love.

surprise :) congrats you made it ! here’s your digital slice of cake ! 🍰

[thatdehydratedmedic]

How I wish I had studied during my A levels

I want to start by saying this is NOT a guide. If anything, It comes closest to being a disorganized rant. Its basically what I would tell myself if I could go back in time. I wrote down that I’d also slap my past self. But my better judgement suggests that I should be kinder to myself. I’d give her a hug. She did the best with what she had when she finally tried, and I applaud and thank her for that. She was so brave and so, so, kind. I truly appreciate her effort. If not for her strength I would not be here today. Here’s a kiss to her forehead. I celebrate the immense trust she had in God and her love for me. My love, past self, you were so strong, I love you. You feel more and more distant from me every day, and yet you burn bright, scarlet red. You truly were a teenager full of rage.

1. Past papers

Past papers are the BEST resource for scoring good marks at A-Level. They provide a great insight into the question types as well as prepares you to answer questions in the way that examiners expect you to answer for them to give you a good grade. Doing past papers will help familiarize yourself with patterns and will make you less likely to suffer from exam anxiety later on. Regretfully, I barely did any past papers, especially at A2 level. For each subject I did, I can count on one hand the number of papers I've done. I did do quite a few Dhivehi HSC papers. (SSC papers also help for Dhivehi HSC btw)

2. YouTube videos

YouTube videos are great if you're looking to improve your understanding of a specific concept. This is especially helpful fur biology and math. Personally, I did not use YouTube at all for chemistry, however, I am inclined to believe that many would find it helpful and really urge everyone to make good use of it. When I was cramming for my A2 exams and had only about 2 weeks left I realized the sheer amount of content I had missed as I had skipped so many classes. I do wish I had at least started watching YouTube videos to catch up on the syllabus a bit earlier.

3. Skimming through textbooks

I do not have much to say regarding textbooks except that when I thought it would be useful, it wasn’t – and when I thought it would not be useful, it was. I assume that’s just my misassumption. I most likely some of you will be more perceptive of when you should reach out for it. However, I did find that at times when I had missed many classes it certainly did help to go through the textbook after attempting a past paper to no avail. I mostly suggest just reading through the contents, learning outcomes and processes, as I found that reading the processes did indeed help grasp them better, such as the Kreb’s cycle and all the neuron and muscle processes. (I forgot them all, can you tell? Let this be a reminder to you to NOT procrastinate, get off TikTok and Genshin impact and start grinding)

4. Anki Cards

If you’re an aspiring medical student like me, I’m sure you would’ve heard of Anki cards already. If not, Anki is basically a flashcard app, like Quizlet but better. I would get into the details but everyone always says the same thing and I do not want to sound like a broken record. You should look it up and when you do, you’ll see what I mean. Regardless, I found Anki especially helpful for Biology and Islam. These 2 subjects are memorization heavy, and although people do say you should not use Anki to learn but should use it for recall, I digress. Use it however you want, and besides – I was way beyond saving at this point. When I was cramming for Islam just 3 days in advance, Anki was the way to go. Took 2 days to make the cards and memorized them all on the last day. Don’t do that though. Halfway through and I’ve forgotten what the title was. What I would’ve done differently. How silly. I would’ve made cards early and actually used the cards as I should have. But if you’re like me and procrastinate like a little bitch, don’t fret. You’ve still got this.

5. Paying attention in class and not being late

I’m not going to pretend I regret missing math class. Maybe a little because I ended up failing (getting a B) but not enough to make me cry. (Lies.) But anyways, for a class that was 45 minutes long, I showed up 30 minutes late. Math was always first for the entire year. And for a night owl like me, this meant that there was nothing you could do to make me get to school on time. I am a changed person. I promise I go to work on time no matter what now. But back then I only had 2 things in mind. Have fun and get rest. That was not a good mindset. I was spaced out the entire class. I do regret this. Everyday, every week, every month, for 2 years, I paid almost 0 attention in class. On the rare occasions which I did, I learnt so much, unless I was scrambling to understand because I hadn’t paid attention on earlier days. For the lessons which days I did the classwork and participated during lessons, I found that I had an easier time understanding them later on. Genuinely, if anyone reads this, I’m sure you’re laughing at this paragraph because who even states such an obvious thing right? Well, back at you, my friend. Sometimes we do need the obvious to be stated in bold and highlighted in yellow.

6. More religious – focus on what matters (SKIP THIS IF YOU’RE NOT MUSLIM!!)

As you can already tell, I was a very irresponsible little bitch during my A levels. Too With 0 discipline, I was not as religious as I wish I had been. Albeit I did pray Tahajjud almost daily, I was very lost in the worldly life. I was not focused on my Akhira at all. This led me to living very freely and without regret. However, the numerous distractions couldn’t put a will to live inside me. Although I had been outwardly very happy and outgoing, it was a depressing time. Only a few levels above rock bottom, but that’s a story for another day. I did reconnect with Allah close to A levels. Not because I wanted good grades but because I had gone too far away. In the end, my closeness with Allah helped me to regain my motivation to study, and was the driving force to start cramming, even in the little time I had. If I could go back in time, I would recite Quran for an hour every day, and do my dhikr in addition to Tahajjud.

7. Wearing less makeup

As you might have already guessed, I was a pretty shallow person during that time and made sure to have a full face of makeup every day. This is not to say that you become a shallow person if you wear a full face of makeup every day. It is only my personal experience that when I wear makeup, it’s usually for shallow reasons. I would spend hours every day getting ready even after waking up late. In essence, my priorities were all jumbled up. It’s not that I would wear less makeup, but I would not place such high importance for my looks, especially over my studies. Studies would come first, looking good will come after. Besides, who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals? As a young girl, I cared too much.

8. Quality over quantity in friendships and leave the romantic pursuits for later

As someone who had been bullied almost my whole life, I was thrilled to finally learn how to get along. I made many friends during A levels. This new found sense of belonging did not translate well in my academics. I was distracted. I prioritized my friends more than my studies. I became more confident in my romantic pursuits as well. In the end, I lost sight of what mattered the most and ruined my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to change my life. I failed my parents and my family. I failed myself.

9. Believe in myself

I used to loath myself terribly. I guess to an extent I still do. This is entirely my own fault I suppose, and it wouldn’t matter if it did not affect anyone else. Unfortunately, my lack of self esteem has disappointed my family and teachers. Everyone except me believes in me. This is not a blessing but a curse. Because this has only led to me disappointing them all. At the end of the day, I am despised for being lazy. I avoided attending classes, self-studying, doing any form of practice or revision for months because I was terrified of failure. Insecurity turned to self-sabotage. The humiliation I failed in the end was greater than what I would have if I had been honest with myself to begin with. I will admit, a lot of these issues came from the fact that my teachers and parents called me a gifted child. Without offering any guidance or support, this so-called ‘love’ suffocated me. I was afraid of not meeting their expectations. They couldn’t possibly know I was not the brightest child ever if I never tried. Their comments always seemed to swing between two opposites. Sometimes it was, “It’s okay. You’re doing so well and you’re barely trying.” And when they would decide to no longer look at me through their eyes of mercy they’d say, “You’re arrogant. You’ll never make it. You think you can do it but we know with that little effort you can’t.” How ignorant. I believed I would never make it, regardless of whatever effort I made. To this day I do not know what life would be like if I had worked hard with confidence. Do me a favor, dear, reader, and let me know. The alternative is turning out like me, btw.

10. Maintain a healthy lifestyle

I’ve never been to a psychiatrist, but I can confidently say I have mental issues. I assume its depression but what would I know, I’m no psychiatrist. I am always tired, dehydrated, sleep deprived and starving. Oftentimes I shiver and I am constantly cold. I shake with anxiety in the face of people. Nothing seems worth spending my time on. I never exercise, I am always in bed, rotting. That is until I go to work. Have I mentioned I work at a hospital? Although I work shift duties, this work has given me a sense of routine. I enjoy speaking to patients. Even on my worst days, I find that helping people gives me a sense of accomplishment and goal. I lose track of time. I am so engrossed I don’t even realize when the day passes by. That said, I believe a healthy life style would greatly benefit anyone. Get enough sleep, drink enough water, eat well, rest and move. My caffeine-addicted-back-broken-ass with no sense of day or night anymore won’t. But you definitely should. I won’t, obviously, but if you do it will only be for your own good.

As I've already mentioned, this is not a guide in any way, and is not meant to be used as such. This is merely myself reflections and what I wish I had done differently. These are my flaws I wish to change going forward. That said, it would make me happy if this ended up helping someone out, somehow.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Sorry guys, rant incoming. I considered deleting this but I put too much effort in.

"girlboss" "girl dinner" "girl math" "boy math" "gen z are making fun of us for wearing x" "here's how to dress like gen z:" "girlies" "girl's night" "boy's night" "me and the boys" "90s kid"

"I don't feel like an adult" "I'm 34 and I can tell you, I still don't feel like an adult either." "My parents seemed like real adults when they were my age." "I still feel like a teenager."

Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you started calling yourself one. Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you stopped trying to dress like a teenager. Maybe you should move your bed out from the wall and get a wallet. Maybe find a calendar app that works for you.

You are an adult. Even if you live with your parents. Even if you do part-time shift work at minimum wage. Even if you haven't graduated college. Even if you are single. These are adult things to do. Because you are doing them. And you are an adult. Start treating yourself like an adult. Fake it 'till you make it if you have to.

In other, writing-related, news:

That trend on TikTok of 20-40 something women authors (and writers yet to be published) promoting their books like,

"Omg! I can't believe I've sold X number of copies!! I never thought I would!" "Ahhhh imagine publishing your book and all your dreams come true and now you get to meet famous authors and work with big names in the industry!!" "Would you read a book where [proceeds to list a bunch of oversaturated tropes that tell me nothing about the actual plot]?"

It reeks of infantilization. If you didn't believe anyone would want to read your book, why should I? You made it on the NYT bestseller list! Stop acting like a mega-fan who got to meet a celebrity. You are their peer! "Would you read a book--" What if I wouldn't? Why does it matter to you what I think of your book? And for the love of god stop hiding behind tropes you know are already popular. "Here is my book: This is what it is about." Have some goddamn confidence.

It is fine to mention in passing "this idea was really far-fetched so I didn't know if it would appeal" or "I was struggling with self-esteem when I wrote this". It's fine to fan a little bit. It's fine to discuss the tropes in your book. But why are you building your brand as an author off of your inferiority complex? You are using your poor self-esteem as a marketing tactic to seem "humble" and "relatable" but it's coming across as unprofessional and desperate for reassurance. You are an adult. You are competent. The more you act like it the more you will believe it.

And of course, I haven't seen a man promote his book this way...

On another note, do any of the 20-40 something women writers who do "write with me" videos on TikTok actually enjoy writing or are they just doing it for the aesthetic?

They all have gorgeous minimalism writing spaces full of white and pink and a macbook beneath a window. Their makeup is done and they are conventionally pretty to start with. But their entire video is just them talking about how little progress they made, how many pages they deleted, how often they got distracted, how frustrated they are. And like, yeah. We all have those days. But what about the good lines you can't wait to share? The days when the words just flow? The cool stuff you learned while researching? Why don't you ever make videos about that?

Is this some other attempt to seem "relatable" by only talking about the "bad" side of writing? Because again, it's coming across as lacking confidence at best and, at worst, that you don't actually know how to write. And that is not the brand you want as an author.

Again, its always women. Why must women market their self-esteem issues in order to sell their art? Why must we be perpetually awestruck children (girlies, book girls) in over our heads?

[swagcoolcat]

Different Superstore Characters and Their Autism

(These are all headcanons)

(some have canon support)

Dina

* Strong Points

* Math

* To the point of being able to do basic math in her head

* 198+535? Give her 5 seconds.

* Math always came easy to her

* Music

* Learned guitar very quickly

* Also can play piano

* She’s a very skilled singer despite never having lessons

* Speaking

* Dina is really good at keeping her voice and her words clear. She knows how to get her point across. Even when under stress, she usually doesn’t crack.

* Weak Points

* Social cues

* She’s not bothered by this, and she doesn’t care. It’s not her fault neurotypical bitches make things so complicated.

* Pop culture

* She does, however, know the most random niche information, and is appalled when others don’t also know the random trivia she knows.

* Takes everything so literally

* Her response to Jonah’s “soon we’re gonna have to pee in bottles” during Curbside Pickup comes to mind

* She’s also bad with common phrases

* “I don’t like you spreading lies about fish!”

* Doesn’t seem to recognize how dangerous some things are

* Or how fragile humans are

* Sense of direction

* This bothers her a ton because she feels like she SHOULD have a good sense of direction, but even though she’s lived in St Louis her whole life, she still needs a GPS to get the vast majority of places.

* Yums

* Sorting things, specifically by color

* Anything that isn’t sorted by color when she buys it is sorted by color no later than an hour after it’s purchased

* Eye contact

* She actually aggressively likes eye contact lol

* Socks

* Icks

* Physical affection

* She only sometimes tolerates it, depending on who it’s from

* She’s somewhat okay with being touched, but she doesn’t particularly enjoy it

* Changes in routine

* Includes things like having to buy a new Halloween costume, or having to get new pens (both canon instances)

* High pitched noises

* A lot of noises actually

* Masking

* Does not bother masking most times

* She does it so rarely that it’s very obvious when she is masking

* Stims

* Making noises vocally

* Jumping

* Waving her arms

* Twirling pens or knives in her fingers

* Special Interests (past and present)

* Birds

* Security

* Knives

* Music from the 1940s-1960s

* Coping Mechanisms

* Sex

* Hitting and breaking things

* Driving

* Yelling at people

* Other details

* Low empathy

* Strong sense of right and wrong

* Usually this is in a rule sense, but there are a few cases where her morals don’t align with rules, and she breaks them to stick with said morals.

* Biggest example in my opinion is her efforts to keep Mateo from getting detained

* Undiagnosed

* She’s the most likely to have a diagnosis, but probably still undiagnosed

* Blunt

* Cares a lot for animals

* Especially any type of bird

Jonah

* Strong Points

* Vocabulary

* He has a large vocabulary and prides himself on knowing a lot of words

* (He’s so annoying about it sometimes too- he’s just like me FOR REAL)

* This exercise is teaching me I’m more like Jonah than I thought lol

* You’d think with this he’d be able to get his point across well but you’d be wrong

* Vibe Check ??

* (Sorry I couldn’t think of a better way to put it)

* He just is really good about knowing when something is off

* Does he handle the situation well when something is off? Totally depends.

* Weak Points

* Bad at reading social cues

* In denial over his struggles with reading them, thinking he’s great at it, when in fact he’s exactly the opposite

* Implying he’s bad at reading social clues will offend him

* Auditory processing issues

* Tends to give too many details

* Specifically about pieces of media, he’ll share a bit too much. He’s not good at giving a quick synopsis.

* He’s just like me for real

* He’s so fucking impulsive

* HE CAME TO WORK IN RETAIL IN A COMPLETELY SEPARATE STATE ON A WHIM

* AND HE ONLY CAME THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE HE WANTED A SNACK LMAO

* Has some insomnia

* Very bad at staying on topic sometimes

* The way he’ll just randomly start talking about something else in the series? Canon. Canon.

* Speaking in general

* If he doesn’t think very carefully before he speaks, he will stutter. Even if he does think carefully, there’s a chance he’ll stutter anyway.

* He’s. Just. Like. Me. For. Real.

* Yums

* Loves physical affection

* To the point of pushing it, and not noticing when it’s too much

* He gives hugs a lot

* He and Amy are very much the loves affection x doesn’t like affection that much.

* He enjoys changes in his routine

* He would literally reorganize an entire house if given the opportunity, he loves change

* Unless it’s initiated by literally anyone else, but he likes to initiate changes often

* Socks

* Icks

* Loud noises

* RSD

* This isn’t necessarily an ick but he wants people to like him SO bad so I guess people not liking him is an ick

* Masking

* He cannot stop masking

* He doesn’t realize he’s masking, but he was raised to mask his entire life, so it’s just normal to him

* He is always exhausted because of this

* He always seems uncomfy when he’s not masking

* Stims

* Moving his hands or arms in any way

* Twirling pens

* Repeating words

* Tapping his fingers

* Pacing

* Special Interests (past and present)

* The Americans

* Politics

* Musical Theatre

* Constellations

* Horses

* Coping Mechanisms

* Comfort shows

* Talking about it

* Or yelling if he needs to

* Quiet alone time

* Cooking for others

* Other details

* Feels the need to prove himself constantly

* Out of the three, Jonah probably had the worst upbringing specifically in regards to his neurodiversity, with his parents showing very obvious favoritism to his older brothers, and with his brother, Josh, always bullying him because of his neurodiversity

* High empathy

* Strong sense of right and wrong

* Undiagnosed

* Also so in denial

* If anyone implies he might be neurodivergent he’ll be like “I couldn’t possibly be, not that there’s anything wrong, but like, couldn’t be me, actually”

* Not good at making friends

* He gets better at this over the course of the show

* He’s not good at this before the show because he never sticks with anything, so even though he knows more of who he is than he did in childhood (where he was more of an outcast) he doesn’t stick around long enough to make long lasting friends.

Eric

* Strong Points

* Details

* He’s very detail oriented and notices small things

* He’s good at recognizing when things are off center and it drives him crazy

* Weak Points

* Bad at reading social cues

* Literally the worst

* He knows this to an extent but he’s not aware of just how bad he is at it

* Especially bad at reading the tone of a social situation (whether it be serious, funny, sad, whatever)

* Generally more quiet and reserved

* With his ‘safe’ people he is literally the exact opposite

* Also this isn’t a weak point per se but this felt like the right place to put it

* Dissociates a lot

* Auditory Processing troubles

* He literally looks like he doesn’t know what’s going on sometimes and it’s always funny

* Yums

* Loves physical affection

* But he’s picky on who he’s affectionate with

* Likes to sit on the floor

* Socks

* Sorting things by color/organizing in general

* Mateo leaves Eric home alone. He comes back and the closet has been rearranged by color. This happens often.

* Mateo doesn’t mind this tbh because he likes stuff organized that way too.

* Sometimes when he’s at Amy’s and he’s playing with her kids, he’ll get distracted and sort their toys

* Icks

* Dislikes changes in routine

* Loud noises

* A lot of clothing textures

* Velvet is the worst of these

* Strong perfumey smells

* Masking

* He does mask

* However, he unmasks around his safe people (Mateo, Amy, etc)

* He doesn’t really have the proper terminology for it but he’s sort of aware when he needs to put up a nice face or where he can just be stoic

* He’s good with eye contact and doesn’t hate it

* Stims

* Biting/Chewing

* Clicking pens

* Anything he can busy his hands with actually

* Whistling

* Repeating words

* Rapidly blinking

* Pacing

* Special Interests (past and present)

* Plants

* Specifically succulents

* Trains

* This one is literally so self indulgent but I don’t care lmao

* Baking

* Giraffes

* Filmmaking

* (Because of a line where Mateo says he’s using Eric’s projector)

* He definitely still has a VCR player and a good amount of VHS tapes, and you can pry them from his cold dead fucking hands

* Weather

* He likes thunderstorms in particular

* This one is also self indulgent but I also just think it’d be kind of funny for Mateo to have severe storm anxiety and for Eric to be one of those bitches that would stand outside and watch the tornado if given the chance.

* Coping Mechanisms

* Rocking

* Hugging his giraffe stuffy

* Baking

* Sorting things

* Other details

* High empathy

* He Must be wearing jackets

* He can be without one, but he tends to have a shorter social battery when he’s not wearing one

* He doesn’t know why this is, he just is like “hm, I don’t really like being upset all the time in public places, guess I’ll just wear jackets all the time”

* Short sleeve jackets are okay, it literally just has to be an extra layer

* It’s an extra weight thing but he does not know this

* Undiagnosed

* Ron Sosa is also aggressively neurodivergent so their family is just like “ah, so the men in our family are just fucking weird, carry on then”

* Blunt

* Less so than Dina but it is definitely there

* Most of his close friends are people he’s known for a long time

* Basically saying he’s not great at making friends that he hasn’t known since he was in school

[willow-lark]

one thing about me is that i will always and forever be a stoncy girly. i occasionally rb posts about them but i'm mainyl involved in the byler fandom atm so i don't talk ab them as much as i want to. anyways

stoncy is really interesting to think about particularly considering where things are in canon for the three of them right now. so, firstly, my thoughts on that:

i am 100% rooting for jancy endgame in-show. i'm not a fan of love triangles (hence why i started shipping stoncy in the first place, they all have chemistry n i think they should all kiss each other at the exact same time) but up until s4 there was no reason to think that jancy wouldn't be endgame, and honestly i'm upset that the writers brought stancy back in, considering that steve's s3 arc was all about him learning he doesn't need romantic love to fulfill his life, and what he and nancy each want in life simply are not compatible. jancy r iconic. jancy r goals. jancy had a whole speech in s4 talking about all the things they love about the other. although they've hit a slight rough patch due to jonathan's conflicting desires in supporting her goals while also being there for his family which has historically needed a lot of his support, they just need to get on the same page about this. they WILL prevail i KNOW this i TRUST

okay, lark, you say. if ur so obsessed with jancy endgame then why stoncy at all? AND I WILL TELL YOU WHY.

it all comes down to stonathan. also shoutout to @messrsbyler for championing the stonathan agenda lately. we should all attempt to live up to your example. SO TRUE.

so. post-s1 era in-show. or, honestly, u can rework this and make it fit at any point in the timeline. but anyways: nancy's with steve, they r trying and somewhat struggling to make it work (though they did last an entire YEAR so kudos for that ig). nancy VERY obviously has feelings for jonathan, who hangs out with her sometimes but is generally avoiding both of them. and honestly? steve thinks jonathan's pretty cool too. and, like, he spent a while treating jonathan like shit so he should probably try and make it up to him. right??? AND THEN THEY KISS.

no, but actually: steve's the type not to even realize that he's actually in love with jonathan. he's like, well, nancy loves him, and i love nancy, so... (that's the transitive property, right? i don't remember anything from 5th grade math class.) he doesn't even realize it's gay of him to feel that way. (NOTE: stoncy r bi4bi4bi and you WILL NOT be changing my mind.) if u extend the timeline to post-s3, robin might be able to help him w this LOL, i've read a really good fic or two where that's the case

on the other side, i feel like jonathan would have an easier time accepting his feeling, especially now that steve is making an effort to make friends with him. not to digress about the byers brothers but i'm gonna. when it comes to accepting his bisexuality jonathan doesn't have nearly as much internalized homophobia to deal with as will does regarding being gay. will has really internalized all of the things lonnie/the bullies have said about him, whereas jonathan is openly defiant of them. but in true byers fashion, he's not gonna make a move about it.

honestly i'm inclined to say that nancy, the girlboss that she is, (perhaps along with robin, again, if the timeline goes later) is the one to witness stonathan making goo-goo eyes at each other and she's like. you know what. this Might Actually solve 90% of my problems. so SHE'S the one who prompts them into it. but to be completely honest all three of them are so completely dramatic about everything so i could even see it all coming down to robin and maybe argyle to force them to get their shit together 😆

this is honestly just one way that it could go down, i've read a lot of different iterations and i love them all.

[leschanceux]

☕✨ memes from the tea room: sfw version ✨☕ feel free to change pronouns where necessary!

well if isn’t the consequences of my own actions

on my way to make things worse ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

i am innocent and have done nothing to deserve this in my life ever

no no that actually makes sense to me

one day I will learn to count and you guys will be so proud of me

you'll understand when you're older

THAT IS NOT ENCOURAGING [ NAME ]

my voice was even lower than usual

my ADHD also goes "WE MUST GET RID OF THE NOTIFICATION", and then my bad memory goes ".....What was that?"

...... don’t look at that emoji name i don’t control it i promise

at no point did I know where either sentences were going

We are doing this because we love you (?)

it'll be a x-mas miracle!

ew. you're back

how do we file a complaint with winter?

I knew it, you're secretly Chester Cheeto

the cheese of truth seems to be a questionable method of divination, but who am I to judge?

I'm gonna treat that statement with the sarcasm it deserves

I should not have come in to try to understand the chaos happening here

[ name ] here just going for minimum effort, maximum embarrassment

I'M SORRY MY OLD WHITE MEN AND RODENTS GOT MIXED UP

“Is this the ghost of [ name ] seeking revenge”

Like BAM DID YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?! KOOL AID MAN STYLE

I'm living for the chaos

listen it’s not real if you don’t affectionately accuse each other of hypocrisy at least once

YOU ARE NOT DUMB. YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WITHOUT BOUNDARIES.

.... CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

by which I mean I followed [ name ]'s explicit instructions

YOU CAN'T PUT KRAFT SINGLES ON TORTILLA

icb i have a new statement piece !

I swear I'm a professional

today's motivational speech: don’t be part of the problem, be the whole problem

my liege she be not bovvered

I'm allowed to have the braincell sometimes

pro tip: read the directions for things

T H E R A P Y

a queen is never late, everyone else is simply early

I have no defense you knew I was stupid when you hired me

I'm not adult enough for decor.

hi flop, i’m dad

Yeah, I am a noisy idea generating motherfucker when I have the braincell.

Hi I got distracted by a pretty man and almost walked into a fuckinG DOOR how’s your day going

I have been awake for over 24 hours and I'm about to order a truly inadvisable amount of Halloween decor

You're all terrible enablers and I'm too weak to protect myself

y'all just gotta trust me

let's all not do this but definitely do that

I saw nothing. I mean, I totally saw everything. But I won't tell anyone.

me and math are mortal enemies

my worst nightmare is that one day i'll like coffee and i'll lose a part of my personality

...I already barely use social media so I guess my geriatric ass is safe?

[sunsoak]

Ok old fart rant incoming. I think it’s actually a major problem that fun, not-overtly-educational websites for kids don’t really exist anymore in this era where more children are online than ever before. Are we really just welcoming the fact that 8 year olds are on instagram now? Literal elementary schoolers posting tiktok dance videos on a platform where anyone in the world can see them? It’s inevitable that children are going to be online but i really feel like they should be urged towards more kid friendly corners of the internet. The problem is they don’t seem to exist anymore! Club penguin is dead, moshi monsters is dead, poptropica is dead, webkinz and neopets are pretty much only used by nostalgic millennials. And any of these games which used to be so popular with kids that are still trying to stay alive are nothing but cash grabs now, like webkinz making you pay for a “deluxe” membership to do half the things you used to be able to do with a standard membership. Like yeah there’s always gonna be fucking cool math games or whatever but let’s be real, kids don’t want to be forced to only ever play obviously educational games. There is a big space between educational kids websites and adult social media and that’s where fun worlds like club penguin are supposed to live! Online spaces where kids can explore and play all kinds of games and talk to each other and personalize their avatar and have pets and, yes, learn some things along the way too! Do some puzzle based games, some trivia, be responsible for caring for a Little Guy, learn the very basics managing money with their in-game coins or whatever! In a space that is stimulating and fun while also age appropriate! I guess part of it is that laptops/desktops are less common now for kids to be using and most are just on their phones. And the phone is really most suited to apps, and kids want a big, social, fun online world to explore that most low effort ad-riddled app games don’t provide, so the logical step to take is getting on instagram or tiktok. It’s just so dejecting. I feel like we’ve gone too far to solve this problem now and these kids are gonna be developing mental illnesses that have never existed before

[emmedoesntdomath]

What do you think Bumlets and Skittery would do for going on a ✨date✨

HI OKAY I’M SORRY THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I’VE TRIED TO MAKE THIS POST SO

okokok- I’m going to assume that we’re talking about a date in a more modern setting, because I don’t know how extravagant their dates could be in 1899, when it was quite literally illegal to be gay.

first thing you should know; bumlets is not allowed to plan the dates. he’s not allowed to pick the place, the activity, time, any of it. skittery says it’s because he likes planning them, likes surprising him with the dates, but it’s really because the one time he was allowed to, he took them to a club and they ended up in jail (something about arson and aggravated assault- but who has a clean rap sheet anyways?)

it’s not like skittery’s bad at planning their dates. he’s actually really good at it. he remembers the little things (again, he pretends he doesn’t care. he is shockingly bad at not caring), adds subtle details no one else would immediately notice, and michael’s heart always MELTS.

also, i refuse to apologize for continually calling bumlets the name I decided was his. sorry not sorry. (and hey, at least I’m still saying skittery. even if it is for my own hc reasons. still.)

they’re both pretty low-key people, so their dates are normally reasonably chill (besides the jail thing, but they don’t talk about that). bowling, picnics, movie nights.

once, skittery decided they were going to the library for a study date. he didn’t actually have to study (he decided to not go to college, and apprenticed a mechanic in a garage instead), but bumlets had an important calculus exam. and here’s the thing. english isn’t his first language, right? his parents were both immigrants (this is more or less canon for most newsies, and I’m carrying it to the modern setting), and neither of them got the chance at a higher education. that’s a lot of pressure.

you might be thinking, but emme, it’s math. what does his language matter?

everything. it’s really hard to learn concepts in your native tongue, let alone your second language. you’re applying things to ideas with words that you didn’t even know existed. how easy is that to understand? how could that ever be easy to understand? it’s not like it gets easier over time, either, when new things are constantly being shoved in your face.

also, math is hard. (@sparkedblaze)

and skittery knows this. he might not understand, per se, but he knows that his boyfriend’s struggling a bit, and stressed, and if he’s stressed, then what’s skittery supposed to do? not be stressed??

(life feels very wrong to him when michael herrera is stressed and annoyed. and by wrong, I mean skittery’s a little terrified.)

so skittery does what any good boyfriend would do. he brings bumlets to the library, brings his favorite snacks. then, he pulls out definitions. he had race explain most of the harder concepts to him in the easiest possible terms, and then he hand-wrote them out again. in spanish. using specifically the terms and phrases he knew bumlets would understand the best. they’re far from perfect, with countless spelling and grammar errors, but bumlets is just sitting there, mouth open, in utter shock, because these things clearly took HOURS. and skittery’s sitting across from him, eyes firmly glued to his book, knee bouncing, muttering about how he knew he was stressed.

it wasn’t an expensive gift, or a dinner at a fancy restaurant. but it was thought-out, and a lot of effort. he could have just printed out definitions and notes in spanish and handed them to bumlets, but he didn’t (partially because he didn’t think of that until he was halfway done, but michael doesn’t need to know that bit). instead, he spent hours writing on notecards with his neatest handwriting.

tis the little things, y’all.

[olderthannetfic]

"It feels like I am always hearing from young monolingual white Americans on this app, and that's the demographic I want to hear from the least."

i mean, you are welcome to your ridiculously reductive opinions but if that is the demographic you want to hear from the least then you probably shouldn't be on social media platforms where it is going to be the most represented by default.

tumblr is US based, and it is a simple fact that because English is the most widely spoken language on the planet and is most commonly used as a 'common' language, people who grow up with English as their first language often don't need to learn another, and becoming fluent in another language gets exponentially more difficult the older you are when you start to learn. children who grow up in multilingual households are going to be much better equipped to speak multiple languages fluently by adulthood than those who don't start learning until they are older.

which isn't to say it can't be done, but unless there's a reason for someone to want to learn (and white americans who grew up here/had generations of their family growing up here are not often going to be the ones who feel a desire to learn a mother language they are so far removed from, even if they have distant ancestry--some may want to connect with their distant past in that way, but it's not a universal drive), it's probably not going to wind up at the top of someone's list of priorities. (although programs such as duolingo are making learning languages easier and more accessible, which is great for people who have a passing interest!) and, for the record, those reasons could range anywhere from 'i just want to learn a second language' to 'i want to be able to read this manga or novel in its original language' or anything in between--but those reasons are gonna be personal and individual and not everyone is gonna have one themselves!

it's like... i'm good at math. numbers make sense in my head. could i probably learn calculus if i sat down and made an effort to learn? yeah, sure. but i don't have much of a reason to, and i have no real desire to learn calculus just for kicks, so it's probably not going to be something i feel like doing out of the blue any time soon. that doesn't mean my opinions should be automatically worth less than someone who learns and practices higher order math for kicks in their spare time. (and this analogy works because learning another language is a skill, just like learning math is a skill, and that is going to be harder for some people than others, which means some would need even more of a driving incentive to surpass that difficulty in order to want to learn it, much less actually apply it and become fluent/skilled.)

--

[kindheart525]

Luster was feeling pretty discouraged after her failed attempt at bonding with Marmalade. For once she felt like she had a family member who understood her, who was on her level, only to find out how self-absorbed she was. In hindsight, she should have known when Marm got her the wrong ice cream on purpose, it was a sign.

It was disappointing, but Luster couldn’t say she wasn’t used to it. She wasn’t much of a group-project filly anyway, she actually learned a lot while working alone. And it looked like Marm was the same way…even more so. Group projects never went well when two ponies were fighting to take charge. 

So now Luster kept to herself, opting to spend her time reading and organizing her books in a peaceful but somewhat lonely state of solitude.

“That looks like a good one.”

“Ah!”

Luster nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice, turning to see one of her other cousins, Blackfire Phoenix, also standing at the bookshelf.

“Sorry. I’m not trying to read over your shoulder.”

Blackfire stepped aside a bit, even though she wasn’t close enough to read over Luster’s shoulder to begin with.

“Oh, okay, um…thanks.”

Luster stammered as she tried to gain her composure, though she already appreciated her cousin respecting her space.

“If you’re looking for something I can get out of the way, I’m just organizing.”

“No.”

Her cousin said a bit bluntly, but she was sincere about it.

“Keep organizing if you want. I won’t stop you. Not enough people appreciate the value of tidiness, so be my guest.”

Blackfire smiled a bit at this last part, nodding for Luster to continue what she was doing.

“Well, not enough ponies do either. I’ve even met teachers who can’t keep their desks clean or their lesson plans in order.”

“It’s the worst, isn’t it?”

Blackfire rolled her eyes playfully and they both chuckled together.

“It’s a skill that you develop, it takes a lot of practice. Some don’t want to put in the effort, while some just haven’t been taught how. It’s like Mom always says, self-improvement takes a lot of work but it’s worth the effort.”

“Yeah, that makes sense!”

Luster nodded along, warming up to her cousin but also impressed by her aunt’s wisdom.

“And, well, annoying as it is, I have this one teacher who is actually really smart even if he can’t keep his room clean. He’s really good at making math actually relevant. My Papa…”

Luster almost couldn’t believe she was bringing up either of her parents, and so casually too. She almost stopped herself but ultimately decided to share this memory with her cousin.

“He always told me everypony has their different strengths.”

Blackfire didn’t know her uncle at all, but she could tell that talking about him was hard for Luster. She didn’t want to press her to talk about him more than she wanted to.

“Mmm, he sure had a point.”

She looked over the bookshelf for something to cheer her cousin up.

“What’s yours? I’m seeing a lot of magic books here.”

“Yes!”

Luster lit up a little more, taking some books and starting to flip through them, passing a few to Blackfire so she could focus on one.

“My favorite is light work magic, there’s so much you can do to manipulate light! You can manipulate the colors, the brightness…well, just about anything! It’s actually really fascinating but I don’t want to distract you from something else.

“I have nothing in my schedule. I want to hear more. Go on.”

Luster was practically floored by this, in a good way. It was such a small gesture but it meant a lot to her for somepony else to show genuine interest in her passions. She hadn’t felt this way since…well, in a long time. 

And so the two cousins spent the rest of the afternoon talking about their passions, demonstrating the tricks of the trade and discovering new ways to create a space that brought them joy.

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Weird Science Next: Peach Skin

Luster Dawn's cutie mark by Parcly-Taxel

Bookshelf by DayDreamSyndrom

[mariacallous]

Summary: Reeves largely creates solutions that would have helped his own life (holding his son back a year and making caretaking the primary source of purpose for men). He presents one-sided evidence, often failing to engage with research critical of his solutions (which are covered below). He also largely ignores (or at least mutes the findings of) DiPrete, who has done a large share of the high quality studies on boys educational deficits over the last 20 years. I believe this is because DiPrete argues for norms targeting pursuit of excellence in academics. Reeves' makes everything caregiving-centric in a way that feels contradictory to DiPrete.

Education: He also completely fails to address where boys deficits actually come from. High quality studies suggest it comes from four sources: lower effortful control (ie self-discipline), lower reading ability, lower writing ability, norms that don't support scholastic achievement. Ideally, a solution would both align children's interests and desires with good academic outcomes (eliminating the effortful control gap, about 40% of the deficit), and create a system in which grades are not writing-centric (things like making debate and effective speaking key parts of English could help here). We would also create norms for boys that help spur academic achievement.

To date, little work has been done on the above. However, the are four key areas that impact boys that can be improved: high levels of cooperative learning can likely reduce deficits in math (almost all of it disappeared); this is easy to implement. Boost school quality: high quality schools eliminate 50-70% of the gap, by my estimation, compared to low quality schools. Consider apprenticeship-degree programs similar to what Germany, Austria and Switzerland use; these countries have no gender deficit in degree attainment. Institute norms for academic achievement among boys--this has to happen after we have a system which works for boys, but is no less important than the other 3.

Statements on how nature affects gender differences Research here is conflicting. He presents it as a closed case for a heavy nature effect. Yes, differences in interests are larger in more equal countries, but we don't know if this is because they started with even larger gaps or whether they grew due to equality (he presumes the latter). What little (admittedly poor-quality) evidence exists, suggests the change in equality doesn't matter to gender gaps. Personally, I agree with his assertions, but they are assertions and shouldn't be presented as fact.

Entering the HEAL fields I agree with his goal here, I don't agree with his methods. He claims that programs to get women into STEM have been seriously successful. I would disagree. After spending what I would estimate is well over $1B in today's dollars, women still only account for 25% of STEM jobs (roughly) and their interest in people vs things has not changed at all in a century (per a massive 2009 study/review). Its hard to raise money for men's issues. Maybe we should try something a little more cost-effective?

Roles for men I agree with his model of female early vs male late caregiving split--this is well supported by what research exists and is grounded in neurological and hormonal-behavioral interaction research, not sociological or psychology evidence (which, IMO, is a good thing). I also agree on his focus on equality.

However, the desire to center the entire male role around caregiving appears to be more emotional than anything. The science is fairly clear that personal growth and purpose are basic human needs (see Deci and Ryan and Ryff's work, respectively). Per surveys, people attach lots of meaning to both work and family and study after study suggests people want to do both. Using "mild social coercion" to enforce men's central role as caregivers deprives a large number of men of the right to find, form and follow their own dreams. It harms men for the same reasons it harmed women. All people must be given the right to center their lives around both. Given the the restrictions it places on boys and men, I believe this is not only extremely harmful, but makes Reeves' overall construct unsupportable.

One of the only critical reviews (on Amazon) of The New Book About Masculinity Everyone Is Now Talking About

[positivelyapunovexponent-good]

It is only 9AM and today is already wretched.

Woke up at 5:50AM, exhausted. Stomach hurts. Tried for an hour to fall back asleep but couldn't. And of course, the mystery bone that appeared on the porch of the house is still there. The bone materialized two days ago. Probably a chicken bone. Neatly arranged on our porch railing. At least I hope it's a chicken bone. That's probably the least unsettling type of bone it could be.

My housemates say they didn't put it there and I believe them. We don't even eat chicken generally. Or... other things that could have produced a bone of those dimensions. So who else? Raccoons? The Planks*? A serial killer? (a chicken serial killer???)

The night before last the bone was moved from one side of the porch to the other. Still neatly placed. Roughly parallel to the wood grain.

The bone is attracting yellowjackets. I do not like yellowjackets. Well this is untrue- I like yellowjackets quite a lot actually. They're fun to learn about. They're important to the ecosystem. But I am wildly spheksophobic and I cannot leave the house while they are There. On the bone. On the porch. Right. By. The Door.

I am trapped and it is a problem. I am missing a math TA meeting. It's an optional TA meeting, but I feel bad because the professor is bringing food. Probably food I can't eat. My stomach hurts. But it's a nice thought and I feel impolite.

Maybe I should make an excuse. How should the email go? "dear professor I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the meeting there's a BUG on a BONE and I do not know how it got there. The bone, I mean. The bug presumably flew sincerely Svet PS the bug is a yellowjacket** that's why it can fly

PPS Did you know adult yellowjackets primarily consume plant sugars? It's actually the larvae that need the protein in meat. It's a sweet, that the yellowjacket is on the bone specifically in effort to feed its own. I hope it gets enough protein. Still scared of it though

PPPS Yellowjackets are in fact the most eusocial of all wasp species! That's why they're so aggressive, they have something bigger than themselves to protect. unlike me I'm just scared for my own skin. And I'm not aggressive at all in fact I'm rather passive and pathetic. I wish I was more like a yellowjacket "

yeahh maybe I should not write an email it sounds daft when I put it in words. The yellowjacket is minding its own business. I should just be able to leave. But I can't make myself get through the front door. Stupid brain. Stupid bone. Why is the bone where it shouldn't be??

so- guess I'll just watch the bone in hopes the yellowjacket is kind enough to give me an opening to leave before my class starts at 11AM :/. Hope the chicken serial killer menacing the house doesn't get me first. Because I do fit the victim profile, given that I'm being rather chicken right now

*I named all the squirrels in our yard Max Plank because he's my favorite physicist. Collectively they're The Planks, naturally

**actually scientifically yellowjackets are order Hymenoptera while bug scientifically only refers to order Hemiptera so it would be inaccurate to call the yellowjacket a bug even for alliterative reasons, which is another reason I probably shouldn't send the above email. Can't have the math professor I work for knowing I don't have my insect orders straight. what a mortifying thought

[dylanlila]

I saw your tags and let me tell you, I got the results and yeah it was as expected three mistakes (I didn't obsess over them the whole weekend btw I'm normal), but I got the highest grade in the class and the teacher said that my essay was impressive so it makes up for it!! Anyway how do you not obsess over your grades again?

BUT I aced my math test because I actually enjoyed studying for it. Thank you for listening to my school rants (this makes me feel like luke throwing his usual morning rants at lorelai [you])

In love with the playlist by the way it HITS:

AAAAAAAAAAAA GOOD NEWS!!!!!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW:

Thank you so much for letting me know how it went, I was worried about you!!!!! I absolutely get the sentiment... We should start a club... (Rory) Gilmore Girls Society. Oohh about obsessing over grades, a hopeful thought I can offer is that I got significantly better at managing the issue and I think that progression started as soon as I made "as long as you're certain that you have in fact learned what needed to be learned, most especially the crux of the subject, you're good" my starting point for well... anything school related. Mistakes are okay!!! (AND GIRL YOUR RESULTS ARE IMPRESSIVE, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THOSE THREE MISTAKES!!!!!) Sometimes it's just not your day, you're human (although. it would also be cool to see a wire under my skin every once in a while... a girl can dream!) And any kind of effort always counts for something, if not immediately then in the long run for sure. + You recognized what you did wrong before receiving the results officially which is good!!! (EXCEPT FOR THE WORRYING PART!!!) That's what I'm talking about, it means you've conquered that topic and that's what's important. Not to mention that academic validation is way better when you don't overwhelm yourself with assumptions regarding how it's all gonna turn out. It also gets you to appreciate the learning process a lot more (even though there's an downside to that as well, I get too immersed in my studies, which I think you can relate to as well chdjdkdkkdkc).

SOOOOOO HAPPY YOU'RE VIBING WITH THE PLAYLIST, sharing music (and knowledge in general) is my favourite activity in the whole world <3 It's also the best medicine I can come up with!!!! And we have a history of doing this, so I thought it would be a good idea to bring back that tradition. I told myself I'd be making one of those for each month and let's hope that idea remains interesting to me until the end of this year at least fjjdkfkdkd.

I missed you IMMENSELY, thanks for being my Luke <333333

[silverior968]

Character bio: Niklas “Laszlo” Emersohn

Name: Niklas Emersohn

Age: 18

Pronouns: He/him

Info: Niklas has lived in Morning Rapids on his own for almost two years. Out of the whole squad he has the worst relationship with his parents and has gone no contact with them due to their toxicity. He has extended family in both Switzerland and Slovakia, some of whom he has a better relationship with but has not contacted because he’s worried the word might spread to his parents. He enrolled in Morning Rapids Academy to put distance between himself and them. The life he lives now is one he’s content with, he thinks that his friends are the only family he needs. He’s enrolled in city guard training, which basically means that he has courses in stuff needed to guard the city, like navigation and combat. He wants to use his skills to one day be able to protect those near him.  He’s been recently diagnosed with combined type ADHD, which made a lot of things in his life make a lot more sense. Niklas is trans and gay and often goes by the nickname Laszlo. One might argue that it defeats the purpose of a nickname, seeing as it’s as long as his actual name, but he doesn’t care. He likes both names, why should he choose? His hobbies mostly include athletic stuff, although he’d like to pursue some creative hobbies as well, he just doesn’t know where to start, there’s so many things to choose from! He’s outgoing and wants to see the good in everyone, although sometimes this leads to him ignoring red flags until they’re right in front of his face. He takes many things much harder than he lets on, and he has a tendency to hide his real feelings behind forced positivity. He hates being sad. Most of the time when he seems happy he’s actually happy, though. Once you really get to know him it’s not that hard to tell when he’s faking being happy. Because of his positive disposition and willingness to help people, he’s pretty popular. Not everyone likes him but those who do really do. He can’t help it, he’s just a fun guy to be around. Sometimes he speaks or acts before he has time to properly think, which has led to him saying some absolutely hilarious stuff. He’s proud of it because it means that he’s funny with and without intending it. He’s one year older than Virika and Alabaster.

Relationships with other characters:

Alabaster: Niklas has a sort of older brother relationship to Alabaster. Alabaster is also the only one that even remotely buys Niklas’s tall tales, so that gives them bonus points in his eyes. He also really admires Alabaster’s mathematical skills, as he himself has never been good at math or chemistry. There has been at least one situation where Alabaster explains some intricate plan with really complex terms and Niklas is like “I understood exactly none of that but I’m in!”

Virika: Niklas thinks Virika is the bee’s knees! They can joke around for hours without getting tired. He can’t understand how Virika isn’t super popular, she’s such a fun person to be around. Niklas isn’t a very fast reader but he’s been steadily chipping away at the first part of Virika’s favorite book series in an effort to learn about her interests. Besides, he’s learned that when he can freely pick what he wants to read and isn’t forced to do it, he really enjoys it. 

Jae-Seong: After some shenanigans and a shared near-death experience Niklas is pretty sure he’s succesfully befriended Jae-Seong. He's become a bit more open and less distant than he used to be. Niklas knows he can be a bit much sometimes, but surely if Jae-Seong disliked him they would simply stop talking to him and that hasn't showed any sign of happening. Niklas admires how well Jae-Seong knows the forests around Morning Rapids and finds him really intriguing. He hopes that they can become even better friends in the future

Kioni: Niklas gets the impression that Kioni hasn't had a lot of friends before, which is why he's determined to show her what a good friend is like. He thinks it’s working. In his opinion Kioni is really cool, she knows so much about plants and healing and stuff. Out of their group Niklas is the one who needs healing most frequently, because of his tendency to dive head first into trouble. He really hopes that Kioni isn’t too annoyed by that.

Benicio: Niklas and Benicio get along really well. Niklas really appreciates how Benicio has such a chill and calming presence. He’s planning on asking Benicio to help him choose a creative hobby to start, since Benicio has several and is really good at all of them. They both also do fencing, which is something they practice together. Their strategies are very different, so they swap tips and tricks a lot.

Liv: Niklas and Liv have been friends for a while longer than the rest of the group has been together. They met at the gym, Liv was there for the first time and Niklas offered to show her how everything works. Liv, in turn showed him around the city because at that point he hadn’t been there long enough to know where the best stores or nicest hangout spots were. They also go to the same parties and generally hang out in the same circles. They also have a running joke of referring to each other like fratbros. 

Trivia: There are a few characters in this group who are inspired by tropes I like, and Niklas is one of them. He’s a textbook definition himbo. He has the personality of a golden retriever, except like a very chaotic golden retriever. All of these characters also have a piece of myself in them, and Niklas is no exception. In addition to the ADHD and a few personality traits, he’s also the type of friend I really wanted when I was younger: I used to wish I had an older brother, and Niklas is a bit like that to a few characters in the group. 

[multitrackdrifting]

your stuff makes me want to make stuff too. i don't even know what i want to make but i want to just do something and post it because i can! it's the joy of just making stuff because we're people and people make stuff. sometimes things in life aren't about money or popularity. wish more people understood that about life

readmore just bc its a long response

yeah i'm kinda at the point where like yeah sure i can get a bag working really hard and never having free time, but nothing makes me feel like a zombie more than working 50 hrs a week plus 15 hours commute total and then just having [good] money and no time to express myself creatively or do anything i feel happy with. its common in a lot of different sectors, but i digress

i just want to make something i feel proud of - lot of people can find that in being super successful and others being envious of how much they make, what car they drive and all this other stuff and its like i don't want to be part of this rat race - i want to convey something i felt was important at some point in my life

i have really bad adhd, i've had it my whole life basically but i only sort of overcame the stigma fairly recently (for myself, not others) and started getting help and all that but before that, I started these videos as a matter of ethic back in july of '22. i made a joke post just saying "thinking abt becoming a video essay guy" thats floating around here with a few thousand notes, then i just did it. I thought to myself that if I can make one video every two weeks then I can beat this thing, while I can actually do that, coming home and having three hours free and hten spending 2.5h staring at a wall was getting a bit unsustainable so after a while i had to deal with that BUT

the fulfilment I get out of making something I feel proud of even if it's not 100% true to my vision, it's better than anything I ever learned in multiple college degrees, or even my job. as a kid i planned to be an artist ( i used to draw and everything), but i just became really disillusioned over time with my own skills and didn't put in the ethic to overcome that feeling. making videos is something i've always done since a lot of my popular edits still get reposted to twitter a lot, but making one that was just about something i'm trying to convey is new. i haven't been a writer for long but i've always been good at public speaking, so i figure, why not combine that untapped skillset and combine them together which brings me to where i am now.

of course, there's this tug of war that's like "liking your job is a privilege" and it is, i agree, but that doesn't mean i should feel miserable at work for the rest of my life - and making stuff im passionate about in a video makes me happier than doing a good job for a client even if i work really hard at that too.

if i can make one person happier with my videos and the only person is me, then i know i already achieved my goal by doing right by myself - that is basically how i try to live. i'm surrounded by plenty of amazing and hardworking people, their ethic and efforts make me want to make stuff all the time too.

you're right anon, people like to make stuff - i guess that's why life feels kind of whack after art class stops being mandatory in school. took it until 10th grade then stacked everything into science and math (clueless).