#I feel like it’s hard to have an interpretation of his actions where he isn’t at least a little bit stupid. i’m sorry

[visenyaism]

what are your thoughts on rhaegar what’s up with that yaoi faced man

his most interesting trait is that he is an enigma and no one actually truly knew him when he was alive and now he only exists in memory and also robert baratheon’s nightly dreams. however his performance of “hm. maybe i should have…changed things around here? it matters not. young jaime lannister who i have left alone to protect my wife and children from my crazy father and your evil father, i promise i will improve society the minute i get back from this war i caused” mid war he caused and then immediately dying was dare i say it. iconic

[imagionationstation]

I don’t know what’s going on with my brain but it has been AU gender swapping Donnie so hard the past few days.

I’m just going to fix the series in a few simple steps:

Donnie leaning heavily on April only because she’s the first other female that she’s gotten to interact with ever

Leo getting some female interaction so he sees Karai as a potential friend instead of immediately crushing and the later reveal isn’t as conflicting since they’re just battle besties

Casey stays decent and awesome without the “battle for April” plot making his character hard to truly appreciate

The brothers are more supportive of Donnie and her attempts to form a relationship with April & Donnie doesn’t have to talk to a jar of guts and mutagen because they know how secluded she’s been, so they’re more free with advice like hey, maybe don’t stalk her and just text her or somethin’, mkay?

Splinter visibly checking up on her activities in the lab throughout the series because he has no idea how to raise a female (he was counting on Tang Shen for that) but he does his best to let her know he cares by supporting her in other ways 💜🤎

More softie Raph moments with his sis so the haters in the audience don’t hate him as much as they unreasonably do

Mikey doesn’t need to change. He just gets to have some more of the “emotionally intelligent” moments that we were deprived off.

I can’t think straight with all these bubbling rewrites help me-

For anyone who cares, also my favorite tidbits:

Splinter not realizing that Donnie was female at first and the name Donatello just ends up sticking. Donnie will die on a hill that Donatello is gender neutral even though her family and friends know it’s not. It’s a topic that they just avoid bringing up

Her brothers use Dona when they’re teasing her

An explanation as to why canon Donnie’s figure is just so randomly different from her practically identical brothers

The shock of Irma isn’t as crippling because April still has Donnie as her devoted female bestie & now the farmhouse era is a lot less stressful and complicated for April and the viewers

Role model Leo still exists & Donnie has a crisis over him bonding with Karai and that creates tension for a while & Four Trap is actually Leo accusing Donnie of not trying hard enough because of that past debacle and “try harder” has clear purpose

Donnie gets an official ✨ big sister ✨ and that means that good-guy snake Karai exists in the series more as the reptilian mutant females bond

Overprotective brothers over their sister (and-)

The sister who appreciates it but there are some moments where she gets tired of them treating her like she’s not as capable as them (not true, but how she interprets their actions) and one episode decides to prove herself (Operation Break Out)

Potential for Casey/Donnie but currently undecided

Consistent “girls are so emotional” jokes that are beyond cringe but the viewers have to tolerate them anyway bc 2012 humor

Broken Foot actually having an affect on Karai since she almost took part in killing off her only sister

Donnie’s biggest fear is that her brothers will one day get tired of her because of how different she is/feels and then she’ll be alone & this fear is the main debacle that she struggles with through the entire series instead of the weird love triangle thing

It’s okay everyone I’ll shut up now and go sit in my corner bye ✌️

[tavyliasin]

Disability Pride Essays - Halsin, Carer Fatigue, and The End Of Healing's Path

Halsin might be one of the last characters you’d be thinking of with disability parallels and chronic conditions - he seems to be pretty well adjusted, arguably easily the most stable of the companions - but that’s where we find another couple of angles to the topic. First is around carers, and the potential for burnout when someone takes on the responsibility for the wellbeing of too many others. The second is more about how Halsin’s story can show us what recovery can look like much further down the line, the result of time, work, and healing. So there is a little mild mention of trauma, but nothing in depth, so whilst there is still a CW here for talk of mental health and healing, it shouldn't be as heavy as other topics. Still, know yourself and feel free to skip whatever you're not in the right place to read~ Your well-being matters. So I hope you’ll forgive me for this one being a little less direct than our other character examinations, but it’s still a topic well worth covering~ 

What is Halsin’s Disability?

When you look deeply and closely at Halsin’s character, and listen to the little throwaway lines he can drop so very casually, you’ll notice a couple of things. First, he talks very casually about an incident that sounds intensely traumatic - years of being held captive by drow - but in a way that suggests, along with his actions, that he’s no longer struggling with the impact of this trauma but has come to accept it. There’s another aspect, too, that we see in the romance scene where he struggles with intense emotions physically transforming him into a bear. Now, this is obviously not a real disability that we see in the real world, but plenty of people do struggle with overwhelming emotions that can leave them feeling like someone different or unable to communicate in the ways they normally would. Beyond this, we see a carer. Someone whose instinct is to support, listen, and quite simply help in any way he can. When we first meet him, he’s very quick to offer his aid in dealing with the tadpoles even if he doesn’t have the solution yet. Halsin simply wants to do everything he can, because he can. 

How Do We See The Disability In The Game?

The bear transformation is something we only really see happening without his choosing to in the romance scene, though at this point I’m almost certain that those of you who haven’t romanced him have encountered the scene somewhere by now. It’s one of the most famous scenes for how unexpected it is, and has been in plenty of promotional materials at this point. Arguably what we see most from Halsin through the game is in his interactions with others, and also if he’s Orin’s victim the things she says in his form are instantly gut-wrenching - talking about being held captive, tortured into losing control, harming innocents - these are easily what we can interpret to be Halsin’s worst fears about himself. Things he keeps well controlled and very carefully in check, with his instinct being to help not harm, although we know it isn’t Halsin, there’s a moment where it’s believable. Painful. And it works because it can reflect the real fears that people who have worked hard on their mental health can have about having a bad day and saying or doing things they would never consciously choose.

How Does This Reflect Real Life?

The thing I keep coming back to as I think about Halsin and his story is how he is similar to Astarion in some ways, which might well entirely be some heavy personal projection going on I’ll admit that one! But where Astarion shows us the early stages of recovery, of trauma still fresh and the difficulties of healing from it, Halsin shows us later stages. There’s more time that has passed, more work that has been done within himself and outside of himself. As a result Halsin has come to that point where he accepts the things that he has endured, even if they are still painful and he doesn’t approve of them, and they are no longer impacting his day to day life. Arguably we see this most clearly when he is quite happy to join in at the brothel with the Drow, despite his past experiences. Now, all that said, there is a point that can be made that someone who talks too casually about their past trauma might not have processed it in the best way, but for the most part what we have is someone who seems to be coping well in their day to day. It’s quite relatable, to see both the earlier stages of healing and those later ones, and comparing them can be helpful to see how far we have come in ourselves as well as the potential place we could be if we keep going. Otherwise, what we have in Halsin is the closest thing Faerun has to a therapist and/or carer. Whilst leadership isn’t his aim entirely, it’s a role he naturally falls into because he has that calm and understanding presence that many around him respect. Arguably, leadership isn’t good for him either - not because he’s bad at it, but because like many who fall into a caring role for the people around them, he doesn’t know when to stop. That’s the thing with caring, you don’t want to say “no, sorry, I can’t help you” even if you’re running on empty. But eventually there has to be a limit, for your own well-being. Just this morning I came across a meme that fits perfectly: “You can’t pour from an empty cup” doesn’t entirely work, because all you get from that is nothing. “You can’t boil and empty kettle” is far more accurate, because not only do you risk damaging the kettle if you keep trying to boil it whilst empty, if you really push it you might just set the whole kitchen on fire.

And this, really, is what we have going on in the Grove in Act 1. Not only is Halsin trying to lead and protect the druids, but he’s also taking in the Tiefling refugees, then going out after the goblins to investigate and protect everyone. He’s stretched himself too thin, not asked for help when it is needed, and as a result we have a Grove in chaos with nobody to prevent the conflicts from escalating between druids and Tieflings, Halsin himself captured, and the goblins now know the way to the Grove to stage an all out attack if the druids don’t perform a forbidden rite first. It’s a mess, and one he has landed in by trying to lead from the front with his fingers in too many pies, but when you do that too much you won’t know which fingers have gravy on and which have custard any more. Maybe that’s a very silly analogy, but good gods did I realise that I’ve been far too close to this myself with taking on too many projects. Luckily I usually know where the line is before ending up in captivity in a goblin castle, but if you’re also reading this and feeling like it’s getting a bit close to home: take a break before you burn down the kitchen. 

Therapy and Therapists

When we look at Halsin as a therapist-like character, which admittedly may come more from the fan created content than the game, there’s plenty there that reflects life. There are a good number of people who go into therapy and care professions because they have direct experience with mental and physical health difficulties. There is a reason why all therapists also see a therapist themselves to cope with their work, and whilst it isn’t universal there is a reasonable venn diagram of people who have felt the same over this. To borrow from my own prior essays, “to truly understand suffering is to avoid being its cause”. Those who have felt harm will often seek to reduce it in others. It’s almost a shame that we don’t get to explore this much further, with how he can easily be a healing and stabilising presence for many of the companions, but that’s where fan works can come in and build on that foundation. I admit I often find myself thinking about how Halsin might use his experience and deep capacity for care to work with each and every one of the companions to help them heal from their own wounds. That, in itself, can be cathartic and soothing. I highly recommend it.

Taking On Too Many Burdens

So that downside of being a carer… I’ve already covered some of this, but we are very close to having a burned out Archdruid crumbling under the immense pressure in Act 1, then we go straight in to Act 2 where he has to face the consequences of past mistakes and all of the guilt that goes along with that. It’s clear he has not forgiven himself for what happened with the Shadow Curse, Thaniel, and Shar’s influence spreading over the region. This can sometimes be seen in real life, too, where someone has tried to help and made things worse, given bad advice, or generally made mistakes that they quietly hold on to for decades. Forgiving ourselves is hard, even when we rationalise it, look at it objectively to know we were young and didn’t know any better, or didn’t have the experience needed to help in the way we would now. But I want to take a moment to remind everyone still here that we are only human, not perfect, not infallible. Mistakes are how we learn, and we should focus on what we can do rather than what we cannot change. In Halsin’s story, we know he has been avoiding the Shadow Curse. He even tells the player that the land should be avoided if at all possible, because he knows the danger there, but still offers to be a guide. It’s difficult to face up to past mistakes, but with the right help and support, Halsin is able to find a way to help at last and ease that burden from his own heart. He’s no longer turning away, running from it, or feeling like there’s nothing he can do - instead he is able to find that solution with the help of the player and companions, healing the land as he heals himself. This really can be such a reflection of trauma and how we handle our mistakes, as well as the importance of knowing when we have taken on too much and need help and support. Just as Halsin asks the player to help him find a way to break the curse, to fight for him to keep the portal open as he retrieves Thaniel, we can see this as a parallel to a carer asking for help or respite care. It’s not saying “this is a terrible burden that I don’t want to bear” but instead “my strength has a limit, your help will make it possible to keep going”. With that support, with being able to know the Harpers can take care of the refugees, Halsin is able to find not only the healing for the land but begin to heal the hurt from the weight of responsibility he has shouldered alone for centuries. And just as a side note here, for those wondering why he seems so guilty about it all, there’s some lore from Early Access that was eventually cut from the game that explains he was the cause of the curse when he accidentally killed Isobel - that set off the sequence of events leading to Ketheric’s desperate actions, Aylin’s imprisonment, and Shar’s curse settling over the land. 

The End of the Path of Healing

Act 3 for Halsin, if the curse has been lifted, really continues to reinforce that this is someone who has learned from his mistakes - both the recent and the distant past. He’s not rushing back to take over the Grove again once his work is done with the Elder Brain, instead he’s finding a new path. One that still allows him to be in nature where he wishes to be, helping the cursed lands continue to heal, as well as caring for the refugees and others who need a place to go. In the epilogue, too, it sounds as if he has learned not to take on all the responsibility himself either, instead sharing the work of caring for his people so that if he is gone for a few days he doesn’t need to worry about it crumbling apart or falling to friction and arguments like the Grove once did under Kagha’s leadership. Halsin shows us that although we cannot take on everything ourselves, we can resolve things when we have the right help and support. He also shows us that our mistakes won’t always define us, nor can our traumas, and although they cannot be erased or undone, there are ways we can reconcile them with ourselves. To move forwards with what we have learned and reach a point where we are no longer so deeply haunted by them.

What We Can Learn From Halsin’s Story

There are a few things we can learn from Halsin’s experiences and how they are portrayed in the game, and largely they serve as an example of that later stage of healing and reconciling past experiences with the present self. This might for some feel like a reflection of themselves now, but for others instead it can be an example that it is possible to make that progress and reach that goal.

Whilst we do see that moment of Halsin not being able to control his Wild Shape in the heat of intense emotions (in this case, lust and passion), it’s also shown that he still does have that control. That he’s learned how to handle that change and bring himself back to where he wants to be - in this case, going from non-verbal in bear form to resuming his usual body shape and calming himself. I feel like this can serve as a good example that although our emotions might still have moments that they overwhelm us, once we have taken that time to process them and learn how to cope with them, we can use those techniques to bring ourselves back to where we want to be. Not easily, of course, but we won’t always be completely at the mercy of the whims of powerful emotions. They’re still there, but what has changed is how we cope with them. Really what I’d like to take away today is that caring for others is a good and positive thing to do, but there must always be a limit. Drawing that line is going to be tough, naturally, but if we continue to try to do too much with caring for others we risk neglecting our own needs and ending up in a much worse place. It’s alright to ask for support even when you’re providing it to someone else, whether through a professional career or through a more casual role of being a carer for a loved one or simply supporting friends through hard times. You won’t always be able to do it all alone, and this is not a failing. It’s normal and reasonable to need respite, help, and support of your own. In the wider experiences of disability, many of us who are disabled learn this the hard way, that we might want independence but there are quite solid limitations to that which need to be worked with and around instead of fighting against them and making things worse. Many of us rely on carers and support to differing degrees, so it is also important to recognise when they may need reminding about not boiling that empty kettle.

So as we finish off this last of the planned long pieces, I encourage you all to keep in mind that healing is possible. That you can be a support to others in the ways that you once needed yourself. But to not let it be to your own detriment, you are still worthy of care and support even as you provide it to others. 

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Looking back at Steven Universe I had a lot of criticisms, but there were also a lot opinions and discourse that REALLY didn’t sit right with me—one of the biggest ones was the discourse surrounding “Storm in The Room”

I remember there being a lot of posts about how “Rose” was gaslighting Steven by asking him if he really believed she purposefully made him to run from her mistakes.

And I just. As someone who is close to their parents BUT also has had a lot of fights with them, and has had a lot of moments where I felt EXACTLY like Steven does during this scene, it was always very clear to me that this whole conversation and episode was Steven working out his complicated feelings about Rose on his own.

The “Rose” in the gif above is not real. It’s not actually Steven’s mom. That’s like. That’s the whole point.

Steven asking Room!Rose if she just created him to run away from her mistakes, and her responding by asking him if he really believes that, is Steven having an internal dialogue. He is talking things out with himself. It’s something I’ve done myself MANY times when I get in arguments or need to untangle my own feelings about something.

Steven’s fear and anxiety is that he wasn’t created to be his own person, but to fix Rose’s mistakes. However, on some level he doesn’t really believe that, he knows rationally Rose loves him and did not INTEND for him to be hurt by her past actions. But regardless of her intent, Steven was still hurt. And that hurt is real and important.

This room manifests Steven’s desires, feelings and thoughts. I always interpreted that scene as Steven coming to terms with the fact that his mother isn’t perfect and wonderful like he previously believed her to be. It’s him realizing she’s a PERSON who had flaws and did bad things.

He has to let himself feel the anger and hurt and betrayal and be upset before he can think rationally again and realize that no, he doesn’t really believe that his mom only made him to hide from her mistakes. But it’s still upsetting. It’s still hard. And as he says in this scene, he has to pick up the pieces of everything Rose left behind.

THAT is the point of this scene, and of “Storm in the Room” as a whole.

Something that I haven’t heard or seen talked about in regards to Steven Universe’s themes is the fact that, in life, you will hurt the people you love sometimes. And that you will be hurt by them in turn.

This happens multiple times through the series, and I personally think it’s done so well because the way the characters are written feel very true to life. The relationships in Steven Universe rupture and break, but the characters come together to repair their relationships again and again.

That is what a healthy relationship actually looks like—they are not devoid of conflict. Instead the people in the relationship work through conflict when it arises.

The reason the conflict in Steven Universe is so engaging to me personally is because its focus is on interpersonal relationships and how they take hard work and time.

This is something that is so important to understand, for kids and adults alike. That the people who love you become a part of you, and that they will hurt you—and while that doesn’t make them evil or malicious, that pain is still real and deserves to be acknowledged and those feelings should be treated seriously.

[esther-dot]

i'm a sansa stan first and foremost, and i tried to ship s@nsan so hard lmaooo but when they start saying shit like "sansa has wet dreams about the hound" and "sansa actually likes older men", argh, i just can't. do. that. i know george said something about playing with it in the books, but i also think that he wanted to raise a few questions with the relationship, one of them being "who protects sansa from her protector?". like, there's TRAUMA in there. it's funny that they accuse jonsas of using sansa as a self-insert bc i don't know if you ever read a s@nsan fic or saw the fanarts, but they REALLY wanna bang that man 😭

(about this ask)

Nothing in the fandom horrifies me as much as Sansan. I’ve had nice Sansans come into my inbox, so I do distinguish between my feelings about the ship and the shippers, but I hate the reinterpretation of the Hound because it minimizes what he did/tried to do to Sansa. Instead of the later scenes where Sansa thinks of him being about her processing the trauma of his assault, suddenly, they become a gross villain whitewashing, victim-blamey, “actually, she wanted it.”

I once even highlighted that whole "who will protect us from the guards" idea you mention because I think it was meant to emphasize what a travesty the Hound’s assault was:

(link)

This isn’t a romance, this is a pattern. The Hound saves her than tries to rape her, Tyrion is kind to her then agrees to marry her, a child, a prisoner of his family, and LF rescues her but then starts to sexually molest her. All the same, in each of these instances, Sansa is grateful, she thinks kindly of them, and I think that says a lot about Sansa that you completely miss if you romanticize it and pretend that the Hound is someone, something to her, that he isn’t. I also talk about the whole cloak thing in that post too because I think the more contextualized reading is the one we’re meant to adopt.

When I did take a look at the meta, I was so creeped out by the nature of it and the art. Although, I want to give credit where it’s due. Apparently they were some of the first people to start taking Sansa seriously and created the reading of Sansa becoming a political factor, so they did change the fandom’s perception of Sansa in a good way. But imo their love of the Hound causes an imbalance in how they read their scenes. The point isn't that the Hound wouldn't have hurt Sansa, the point was that he very well might have but Sansa's actions stopped him which ties into a much bigger idea and important aspect of Sansa's story:

Even after the Hound assaults Sansa, later, she thinks of how terrifying the fire was, as in, even then, she is able to empathize with him, the man who held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. It’s laughable to suggest a man who mocked her relentlessly for who she was is capable of the same consideration. In fact, it is in a state of terror that the Hound attempts to rape Sansa and his fans use that to excuse his actions, and yet, while he is assaulting her, Sansa sings of mercy, gently touches his cheek. It’s almost like the very obvious interpretation, that the way to create a better world is Sansa’s method— not his— is what Martin expected people to understand, and his surprise people have turned it into something else altogether is genuine. (link)

As for Martin admitting he "played" with it, here's a clip. It's very short, and he's expressing surprise that his female readers like villains of which the Hound is one, and I think you can tell by his facial expression that the idea of the Hound and Sansa as a couple, is absolutely not where he ever intended to take things, not what he meant when he said he played with it. There are countless old monster movies with the monster being fascinated with a young girl or beautiful woman which humanizes him/shows a soft side. That's similar to Beauty and the Beast, the girl is what allows the monster to become human again, but in these variations, it isn't a romance. You can play with/reference tropes and ideas without it actually being a direct reiteration of the original story.

Anyway, filter and block and curate your fandom experience! 😅

[presidenthades]

⚠️HOtD season 2 ep. 4 spoilers⚠️

Your thoughts on this ep🎤?!

Adding my two cents: SUNFYRE AND AEGON WERE SO CUTE, but wtf was that fight🧍🤨 Aemond bbg wtf?? Anyhow, cuties:

TLDR: I’m not even mad anymore, I’m just disappointed (by the writing, per usual; the rest of the show is fine). I’m mostly still on the S2 boat because of the little moments like Sunny and Egg. It makes for great fanfic fuel!

Honestly, this was Criston’s best episode of the entire season so far. Getting him away from Alicent and putting him on the battlefield showcases his better qualities. Also, I love his interactions with Gwayne, it gives me life. Would totally watch a spinoff series where the two of them go on side quests.

I feel like the Harrenhal scenes aren’t super important narratively and the screentime could’ve been devoted to other characters. HOWEVER. The Harrenhal bits are just so fun to watch that I can’t really complain. TBH, it feels like Daemon is getting the best writing (in terms of character arc and narrative coherence) of all the main cast. But uh…one does wonder why he drinks a random-ass potion from a witch lady who just told him he’s gonna die at Harrenhal. (Speaking of whom, I am greatly enjoying Alys Rivers. I’m glad they haven’t made her a femme fatale. She’s just weird. Joff would love her.)

Opinion: they got rid of Kermit Tully and made Oscar the heir because the show wants to minimize Muppet memes. Very sad. 😔

If you’re following my blog, then you know I’m an Aegon fan, so I acknowledge I’m probably biased. But all of the Greens are just shitting on Aegon this episode, holy cow. I totally understand Aemond being snotty and excluding Aegon from schemes; even in the most generous interpretation of their brotherly relationship, they’re often at odds and Aemond looks down on Aegon. But Cole is the Hand of the King, not the Hand of Aemond. Even if Cole is on the front lines, he should be including Aegon.

Alicent has just completely lost the sympathetic traits she possessed in S1. I’ve never thought of her as an especially good mother, but she did love her children—definitely Aemond and Helaena, and there were the “do you love me” and standing between Aegon and the dragon scenes. She also seems to have forgotten that she was one of the people yelling at Aegon to step up and take the crown, and now she wants to hit the reverse button. 🙄 S2 Alicent is not the same character as S1 Alicent, and even S1 Alicent varied from episode to episode. For fic purposes, I’m just completely ignoring what the show writers are doing with her because it makes no sense.

I think TGC would’ve killed a scene where he gets to speak more fluent High Valyrian, but it makes sense that Aegon isn’t good at speaking it. Aegon has never been the scholarly sort, and High Valyrian (if you’ve been trying it on duolingo like me) is not an intuitive language for English-only speakers. I do think Aegon should’ve learned more dragon commands at least, but apparently Sunfyre decided to be the world’s first bilingual dragon and learn common tongue for Aegon’s sake. :3 At this point I’m convinced that Sunfyre is the only living creature who actually unconditionally loves Aegon. No wonder Aegon is messed up.

Back in Driftmark: we finally get confirmation of who the Hull boys are! Not explicitly, but it’s hard to deny that they’re Corlys’s kids like in the book. I kinda wish we got more scenes with Rhaenys talking about/interacting with them though. She seems to have had complicated feelings about the boys.

Visually, the battle was amazing to watch. Some of the best shots I’ve seen during the entire show. But, as I often complain about, the characters’ actions don’t make sense. If you’ve been on social media, then you’re probably aware that Aemond attacking Aegon has been very controversial, and for good reason. I cannot comprehend the Aemond stans (I’m an Aemond fan, but I’m very aware that he’s a flawed character who can act stupidly sometimes) who refuse to acknowledge that this was NOT a good move. Vhagar is a formidable dragon but she can’t win a 1 v 4 against Caraxes, Syrax, Vermax, and Moondancer (and those aren’t even all the dragons the Blacks will eventually have). Vhagar could take out some of the other dragons, but she’s definitely dying in a battle like that. So no, this was not a smart or strategic action on Aemond’s part, at all.

It could be explained as an action taken in the heat of the moment, with Aemond overcome by adrenaline and his anger toward Aegon. But we just saw Aemond two episodes ago being sad about killing Luke, against whom he held a grudge for years because of his eye. Aegon is his brother, and their interactions in S1E8 indicated that even if they’re not besties, they do operate on the same wavelength. Aegon was an idiot for making fun of Aemond in S2E3, but that should not have pushed Aemond over the edge to attempted fratricide/regicide.

At least Cole and Sunfyre care about Aegon, since clearly nobody else does. 🥲 *author shoves a Jacaera toward Aegon*

[outro-jo]

nct 127 with autistic partners

pairing: nct 127 members x reader

type: scenario

summary: how the nct 127 members help their autistic partners

request: yes

warning: mentions overstimulation, touch, food, meltdown in johnny’s, stimming

a/n: please lmk if johnny’s makes any of you uncomfortable. i’m hesitant to talk about the topic even though it’s necessary to talk about and normalize. it’s just difficult and i know that VERY well. 🤍 also please know that these (and the skz one) are just small examples of what some autistic people can experience and these may not be the only ways they would help their partners. 

UPDATE: T*eil has been removed

masterlist | info

—————————

taeyong- you were surprised to find out that despite being so busy and having to worry about 20+ “kids” of his own, taeyong is really good about texting and checking in on you. not only with basics like, “did you eat today? drink your water? take your vitamins?” but he spends a lot of time away from you and he doesn’t want you to get anxious or worry about his feelings towards you. he never assumes that his actions are speaking louder than his words when a lot of the time you struggle to interpret the feeling behind actions anyways. he’s very forthcoming with how he feels about you and will often just tell you he’s been thinking about you and misses you even when he’s been gone for just hours. (which like why… you just left how do you miss me?? 😂😂) 

johnny- johnny is really good under stress. he’s steady as a rock and it comes in handy in stressful situations which you can’t really handle all that much. you feel all the intense energy and it usually gets loud so it immediately triggers a meltdown. he’s just really good in any type of meltdown situation, whether it builds from the day and something small makes you snap or you’re relatively fine but something intense sets it off. he makes sure you have your headphones on and holds you tight to him. also talking you through the post meltdown guilt after bc it’s so real 😩

yuta- he LOVES hearing about all your special interests. he loves when you like sit and fidget with something and just ramble away about whatever it is you know literally everything about. he also loves to take you places where you can experience your special interest in a deeper way. i.e. special museums or experiences. even if he has no interest in the topic whatsoever, he just loves that you love it.

doyoung- he’s a very affectionate person but he’s very respectful and understanding which makes him perfect for you since you don’t like to be touched. he always asks for permission before touching you in any way first, even if it’s a small gesture like wiping your face when you’re eating (bc he just does that for people anyways). although at first when you rejected a hug from him, he was a little hurt and confused but did his best not to show it. once you explained it though, he was much more aware of his actions and if he needs a hug he’ll find one of the boys. 

jaehyun- this man knows the importance of a safe space not just emotionally in your relationship together but also physically like in your shared home. he worked really hard to make sure the lights weren’t too much, none of the blankets and furniture felt weird, all the smells in the house were mild and pleasant, safe foods always stocked, he even went as far to soundproof the bedroom so outside noise isn’t an issue. he also has lots of fidgets around the house and on his person for when you need to stim. 

jungwoo- similar to taeyong but in a different sense, hear me out. he knows how overwhelmed you get when you have to be around more people and especially people you’re not used to. it can kinda feel like you’re a sim without someone at the controller. you walk in the room of people and immediately feel like it’s too much and not do basic things that most people do easily. your default is just to stand at the edge of the room awkwardly, totally unsure of how to function. people may ask, “are you hungry? can i get you a drink? you can sit here if you want!” and you’ll deny everything despite being hungry, thirsty, or needing to sit. playing the “human part” can get so confusing when you’re overwhelmed and you may feel like your basic needs are burdensome to others even when it’s literally a party and every one is eating, drinking, and relaxing. so jungwoo is always at your side with his hand in yours to reassure you. he feels like a safer person you can say your needs too without feeling like a burden. he’s always so sweet and patient with you to make sure you get everything you want. 

mark- mark pays close attention to the sounds in the room. it’s something he never thought much about before he met you but when you explained it to him, it actually made a lot of sense to him. he always keeps you close by in case of a particularly loud noise he can cover your ears in time or be there to reassure you. he also keeps an extra pair of noise canceling headphones with him or at least some little ear buds in his pocket. he becomes attuned to helping you with some of your other sensory issues but sound is one that triggers you more often so he knows what to look out for. 

haechan- he found you intriguing when he first met you mostly bc you were kinda concerned with how he was being treated, especially by yuta. he thought it was really endearing when you’d get upset that he was being “slighted” but he explained that it was all a joke… you didn’t find it that funny. donghyuk loved that you cared so much for him so quickly and that you always wanted to show that you cared even if it meant you doing things you weren’t entirely comfortable with like hugging or other skinship. haechan was equally careful not to push skinship so much or just throw it on you without any warning. he was also careful with his jokes and not to tease you too much and upset you. overall he’s just very considerate. 

taglist: @ujejdjd

[myobsessionsspace]

Delulu anon here:

I completely understand where you're coming from in regards to letter on face. I guess, for me personally, face ended with Set Me Free pt. 2 and signified his journey ending in this both triumphant but also angry way. Very poignant. It felt less like a "Oh, look, I'm magically better now" and more a "fighting is the only thing I can do now, I tried nice and look what it got me". To me, it signified the fact that healing isn't linear nor pretty, nor does it always end in a neat bow. It's his chrysalis moment, and also one of the best songs in the BTS catalogue.

The English version of Like Crazy and Letter are more an encore or addendum, in my personal view.

I'd contrast Face and its structure with D-DAY (whilst also flipping out over the fact that every album BTS has delivered in Chapter 2 has been an absolute experience), which ends on the very much softer note of Snooze and Life Goes On. Especially LGO (Yoongi's Version) feels exactly like how you interpret Letter.

In all honesty, both of us are probably right, and I'm usually someone who doesn't subscribe to any of the theories claiming a BTS song is about another member. It feels a bit cheap, because BTS are individuals with a lot of complex emotions that exist outside their relationship with others. I've seen people claim all sorts of things, and Letter is that one exception where I don't disagree.

Initial Ask

Hi lovely,

Ugh, yes, yes, yes! I agree with what you’re saying, so beautifully put! I too feel like set me free was the ‘end’ leading into MUSE’s ‘Rebirth’. And ‘Letter’ like an addendum, yes!

I think that’s why Letter isn’t on streaming platforms and a hidden track. That in itself is so telling. It’s not really part of the flow of the songs. To me (very simplified):

FACE

Face-off : Jimin kinda internalising his ‘issues’

to

Dive: being submerged in the overwhelming emotions?

to

Like Crazy: using unhealthy coping mechanisms and the push pull battle of not caring and caring too much?

to

Alone: the consequences of his ‘like crazy’ actions or realisations setting in

to

Set Me Free: overcoming, f*ck it attitude, leaving the sh*t behind, shedding the ‘filth’

MUSE

Rebirth: self explanatory?

to

Showtime: he’s ready to take on the world with his new outlook on life, himself and people

to

SGMB: in love with love, love of people, his members, his fans, happy and want to be people’s happiness. In love and what’s people to enjoy love too.

That is a very rough & shallow summary (many have done interesting and thought provoking theories & analyses of FACE) but to me ‘Letter’ is more like ‘I can’t not do this for someone who’s been there holding my hand through this journey. I want to thank them, acknowledge them and continue to promise to them. They were a hidden part of this journey, an undercurrent’ his letter to him, his song to him, shared with us but not in the same way as FACE & MUSE. Not on streaming platforms for any and all. Memorialised in hard copy only. The lyrics needing extra scrutiny to read them, embossed not with ink. Embedded deep but still not straightforward to see.

I totally get you when it comes to always having their work attributed to the ‘ship.’ I don’t buy into a lot of it either.

BUT Letter speaks for itself. It’s not like ‘I wonder’ where Hobi collaborated with JK for them to make a lovely song. It’s not like how JK is their go to guy for guide recordings to be used by a different vocalist later on. In my opinion.

I like the way you think anon! I like that you are able to look at other members work and the topic as a whole, many focus on the two and the two only but I appreciate people who look at things wholisticly 😍 Yes I get you with the ending on a more mellow note like Yoongi’s DDAY with snooze and his cute version of LGO. Definitely

I really really really don’t like when anything and everything is brought back to their relationship and their relationship only. It’s demeaning. It’s like if anything a woman does was always brought back to her husband or her boyfriend you know? They have worked so so hard for very long to be whole, rounded, talented INDIVIDUALS. The experiences and stories they have to tell are not just one thing, their relationship. They don’t pick every song for their careers, every outfit, every prop, every scene just to highlight the man in their life. Honestly that would be scarily unhealthy and I’d suggest therapy.

I think a lot of the connections people make are what I like to call ‘cute delulu’ and what are these sites for if not to have a little fun with our chosen spaces/communities/fandoms. The majority of the time it’s just for fun and I enjoy it with us (even though I’m bad at instigating it😅).

It’s if people completely refuse to appreciate the actual art and intent and only want to use it for ‘ships’ that it’s saddening.

Thank you so much for the folllow up. It was lovely and I enjoyed it

💜

[j0kb0x]

Over-analyzing the shit out of “Meet The Spy”

- You’re insane if you said you suspected Scout. The writers of this short did a good job hiding the fact that this was Red Spy in disguise at the time. The whole narrative of deceiving the audience is a perfect way to bring out the character’s affects on people and to show how much of a threat he really is.

- Speaking of which, what makes the character even more horrifying is the Spy’s general ability to seemingly psychoanalyze people around him. Blu spy (subjectively) shows signs of suspecting the disguised Scout, and Red spy roleplays as Scout so accurately, right down to his over the top ignorance and pretending to cut himself with the blade of his own butterfly knife. He couldn’t have done this without throughly gathering information on his own teammates. Creepy mf.

- Speaking of that scene where Red Spy pretends to cut himself, the whole action itself is GENIUS writing. Not only are the other mercs being deceived into thinking this is the real Scout, but the audience is as well. Because no spy would do such a terrible job demonstrating a basic opening balisong trick. Only someone as over his head and stupid as Scout would pick a weapon up too confidently without thinking twice and then promptly cut himself with it.

- After Scout sends a random storm of insults Blu spy’s way; he then adds “No offense..” At the end. If you watched this short the first time you wouldn’t have caught it, but this random proclamation at the end is Red spy’s own self awareness and sarcasm shining through. Showing how ironic it is that he’s indeed resorting to insulting himself in order to pass off. He doesn’t think that about himself at all; let’s be honest. This isn’t enough to be a slip up because it has double implications. You can also interpret this as Scout not wanting to get on Blu spy’s bad side. Red Spy knows how to choose his words wisely.

- Blu spy’s “I can assure you, they weren’t like me.” Is another double implication. It could be either seen as passive aggressively objecting against Scout’s insults, or even threatening the Red Spy he suspects might be disguised as Scout. Lots of fucking social mind games here for the audience to try and understand.

- When Scout sees the Blu spy’s head get blown clean off, he reacts as if he’s shocked at soldier’s lack of impulse control. Not only did Red spy deduct pretty quickly he had to react like this in a spilt second, but also you can notice his mask beginning to slightly falter in this scene as he realizes his main competition was now gone. The way he steps forward to check if Blu spy is truly dead is way too off-putting and doesn’t fit Scout’s typical body language whatsoever.

- Finally, Scout’s expression turns into a dead fucking hard gaze once he realizes he has the perfect opening here, now that soldier and heavy are distracted. This gave me chills as a kid. Then the disguised Red Spy throughly demonstrates he’s fully capable of doing a knife trick. The camera is right at his hand and makes sure to place emphasis on this moment as realization slowly sets in for the audience that they’ve been completely misled this entire time.

- Red spy finishes Blu spy’s sentence before he got blasted to smithereens. Showing once again how ironic the situation is, perfectly balancing ironic humor and the feeling of pure terror. “Right behind you.” Comes off more raw than it should. Emphasis on this line is done perfectly by Dennis Bateman. Sounds both like a velvet whisper, and a snake hissing before striking. 10/10 acting here.

[gunilslaugh]

Hey hey hi hi!

I'm curious on what your interpretation would be on how xdz would react to or help out a s/o who is really shy?

It's something I usually struggle with to where I have to thoroughly plan out conversations or routes in the store in order to avoid that type of social aspect 😔

Literally shaking as I type this out 💀 But I love your work and thank you for your wonderful content. I love your style

Hello hello! I also try to avoid social aspects whenever I leave the house, so don't worry you're not alone. Thank you for loving my work, here's your request!

All members < * _ * >

Summary: Xdinary Heroes' reaction to having a shy significant other.

WC:836

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner.

Gunil

Gunil is so sweet and caring when it comes to you being shy. When you guys are in a social setting he checks on you to make sure that you’re doing alright. Gunil either has a hand resting on your lower back or is holding your hand in his, so you know you’re not alone. He would order for you whenever the two of you went out. If you want to push yourself to try and overcome your shyness he’ll be right by your side supporting you. Gunil would suggest starting with small steps in order to not stress you out too much. You decided that you wanted to order for yourself Gunil holds your hand reassuringly while you do so. After you succeed he tells you how proud he is of you and that you’re doing a good job.

Jungsu

Jungsu can be shy himself, so he is really understanding about your shyness. Even despite his own shyness he has no problem stepping up to do the talking for you, because he knows it helps put you at ease. If you tell him that you want to work on beating your shyness he will be one hundred percent supportive. Though he reminds you that shyness isn’t a bad thing and makes sure that you want to do it for yourself and not just cause you feel like you have too. Anytime you do any action that requires you to battle your shyness, Jungsu would be so happy for you. Giving you congratulatory and reassuring hugs. He reminds you to go at your own pace though. He worries that you might push yourself too hard. 

Gaon/Jiseok

Jiseok finds your shyness to be endearing. Not the part of it that makes you feel uncomfortable of course, but the way you stand slightly behind him when he’s talking to someone or when you latch your hand onto his sleeve. He thinks you’re just the cutest. Might tease you a little about your shyness, but makes sure you know it’s not with mean intentions. If you tell him that you want to work on becoming less shy he will support you through it the best that he can. His teasing side will go away for a while in order to ensure that he won’t accidentally discourage you. Jiseok will give your hand encouraging squeezes while you make an effort to talk to someone. He will give you the reassurance that you did well and no need to overthink the interaction.

O.de/Seungmin

Seungmin is so attentive to your shyness. Whenever he sees that you’re a bit uncomfortable in a situation he’ll step right in to help you. While being out on dates he’ll keep a watchful eye on you to make sure that you’re doing alright. When you told him about how you wanted to confront your shyness and not let it affect you so much he felt really proud of you right then and there. He knows that making that decision on its own was scary for you. Seungmin is right by your side supporting you. Every little step of improvement you take increases his proudness of you. He will hearten you on days that it’s harder for you, saying it’s ok to take a break, there’s no need to constantly push yourself. 

Junhan/Hyeongjun

Shyness comes in pairs when it comes to you and Hyeongjun. Meaning Hyeongjun completely understands how it feels to deal with being shy. He will step up despite his own shyness to help you feel more comfortable. There’s a person standing in front of the item you need at the store? Hyeongjun will go grab it for you, so you aren’t just awkwardly standing there waiting for the person to move. The two of you work on your shyness together, it helps you bond. Each of you are right there to cheer the other on and celebrate your progress. You both will still have your days where you’d rather stay inside and avoid social interactions. On those days you’ll have stay-in dates. You guys would either watch movies, bake/cook, or do puzzles. Just have a nice relaxing day for yourselves.

Jooyeon

Jooyeon is actually quite shy himself. He can be very awkward when it comes to social interactions with people he’s unfamiliar with. Safe to say that you two can be an awkward pair in public. The both of you have fun laughing about it though, sometimes even finding yourselves to be ridiculous. Jooyeon would help you the best that he can when it comes to helping you with your shyness. It would be something for you two to confront together. He’d stand beside you for moral support, hand interlaced with your own. He’s so genuinely happy for you whenever you complete a task that your shyness usually makes difficult for you. Seeing you work hard to battle your shyness motivates him to work on his own. Would suggest that you two celebrate being brave enough to overcome being shy.

[mswyrr]

Things like prolonged abuse can give people very uneven social and emotional development. They can be very responsible and "mature for your age" in some areas and also very stunted and immature in others.

This can also happen for, say, LGBT people who were closeted during pivotal periods of development too, where dating and discovering themselves happens later and there can be a development gap for a time. And grief around never getting to be a kid when they were a kid can be a thing for people once they try to connect with the things they had to cut off because they weren't safe to feel them. I went through some of that myself, from various sources, so I have a lot of empathy for that and how absurd/frustrating it can be.

(And a lot of hope - it doesn't, as far as I've seen and experienced, take someone very long to "catch up" after a while of fumbling around like an idiot)

Anyway - sometimes I see people reading Carmy's "accidental fuckboi" behavior in terms of how a grown man who's been dating since he was a teen would be thinking/feeling, if he behaved like that. But, for me, I interpret that differently because of the “first” situation and the developmental stuff. IMO, he's basically being a feckless/inexperienced teenager dating for the first time here, because in this area of his life he is still developmentally a dumb feckless teenager (and one who is trying and failing "not to be shitty" without much of a clue what that looks like).

Doesn't make the harm less real, but the intent I think is shaped deeply by the fact that, for the first time in his life, he feels safe enough (because of how much responsibility Sydney and Nat are taking on and that is absolutely not fair to them!!) to try to enjoy things. And he thinks maybe he can even make that work with being responsible somehow, but... utterly clueless about how.

There's the caveat that he didn't go out and choose to start dating at this pivotal moment for the business - dating found him and there's complexities around how much he wanted it to find him right here and now and how much he feels obligated to be what his family/friends/Claire wants him to be. I think he'd have been able to turn down anyone who wasn't as deeply tied to his family as Claire, and I'm not ignoring his agency in the situation, but they chose to bring someone in who he'd find it incredibly difficult to balance pleasing/doing what he's expected to do by while balancing everything else for a reason.

The "executive function" stuff where he's staring at the calls coming in and unable to answer either of them is key for me, in terms of this being someone who just isn't functioning well rn at all and is coming to a real crisis point and trying to ignore that/salve that any way he can think of. Masking really hard and deep in denial and trying to keep a lot of plates spinning without being very intentional about any of it.

It leads to sucky behavior and he's responsible for that--and the other characters can and should hold him responsible for that, but especially for actually addressing the core gravity warping untreated mental illness that's motivating a lot of this frantic rushing around and being a prick-- but I don't personally see much of it as a crime of intent. Intent requires a level of insight and experience that he doesn't have in the area of dating specifically lol

That balance of someone being responsible for their actions but also, for various reasons, in a place that mitigates and shapes what they're able to do--based on the tools they have--is an interesting part of the story that gets touched on again and again through various characters. It's interesting and it can coexist with the people around someone having the right to protect their own peace and boundaries.

[kiragecko]

Other people are allowed opinions, but does one count as a Tim fan if Tim&Dick aren’t the favorite team? I’m not so sure! (Technically fine one can, but. It does seem wrong.)

I think we might be OLD fans. Pre-Red Robin, it would be hard to read about the Batfamily without centering those 2. They kind of WERE the Batfamily. Cass had just joined, Jason was pretty insistent he wasn’t coming back, Damian wasn’t there. If you wanted siblings, they were your option, and they were AMAZING.

Dick had put so much work into gaining Tim’s trust and getting him to open up. He’d taken a kid who was almost completely self reliant and self-contained, and taught him to call when he was feeling depressed, or wanted romantic advice. Dick called him little brother, and ruffled his hair, blindfolded him to ride on trains, and teased him about rats as the wriggled through sewers. Dick went to Tim’s Young Justice parent-teacher interview!

Tim, on the other hand, was so good at being quietly supportive, and limiting the amount Dick isolated himself. He’s the only Bat that regularly went to Bludhaven, to provide Nightwing a patrol partner, and Dick a movie buddy. He talked with Dick about things that were bothering his older brother, and then backed off if Dick asked - both of which are unusual in Dick’s life.

They were siblings in a way that we don’t get a huge amount of in media. Neither was a kid, the relationship wasn’t full of cuddles and proclamations of affection (despite fandom), it wasn’t loud and full of fighting. Neither was a stand-in parent (though they both tried, at times). Dick was allowed by the narrative to mess up, to fail Tim multiple times, without being a “bad” big brother.

They’re the reason I got into the Batfamily.

-

I think Young Justice or Teen Titans fans could probably love Tim without realizing he isn’t himself without Dick Grayson. And no one in the last decade has any reason to think they’re anything special together.

Also, the Red Robin Series of Incidents seems to have resonated really deeply with a lot of fans, and their issues with their own siblings. I can’t really imagine a sibling relationship where I can’t talk things through, and help my younger sibling heal, but I’m aware that there are a lot of relationships that aren’t the same. There seem to be a lot of fans who find Dick’s actions unforgivable.

Dick and Damian are now a much more prototypical (media) sibling relationship - media LOVES relationships where one side spends most of their time being perfect so the other can heal, and only struggles where the other can’t see. I can see why. I want someone like that in my life sometimes, too.

Cass managed to claim a large part of Tim’s heart very quickly, and I’m really happy about it.

Jason has been given a lot of work by the fandom, and has multiple interesting sibling relationships because of it. I’m fascinated by what Tim and Jason could be.

There are so many possibilities, now! It’s great.

I just wish modern fandom had seen enough of Dick and Tim that they could see that The Series Of Events After Bruce’s ‘Death’ wasn’t all these two were. That they knew enough about (my interpretation of :P ) old Tim to understand that Tim doesn’t hold those kind of grudges. (It’s actually one of his weaknesses.) That they understood that Tim built a lot of his identity on a foundation accidentally set by Dick, and after finding out, Dick chose to make that foundation stronger, and that they built something strong enough to survive almost anything.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

My friend (who I'll call Kay) who plays TWST actually told me something very interesting but also pretty messed up. I might get some stuff wrong but hear me out.

You know how Trey pretty much never called out Riddle whenever he did something wrong because he believed that Riddle's the way he is because of his parents? Which is true but most (if not all) of Riddle's controlling behavior is Riddle's own choice.

Well, Kay said that had MC and ADeuce not stepped in, not only would this had continued (and most likely gotten worse) and Riddle got a job, married and became a father, he would be a carbon copy of his mother: mistreating his spouse and child, all the while being hailed as a respected mage in his homeland. And Trey would still not step in because he still believes that Riddle's the way he is because he's too busy feeling bad for Riddle and himself for not helping Riddle.

Of course, this is just my friend's theory and I highly doubt Trey would let something like that slide.

***CONTENT WARNING: this post discusses themes of generational trauma and familial abuse!!***

I mean, that’s assuming Riddle doesn’t Overblot from rage and die from it before graduation, right 🥲 He was already in that downwards spiral before Yuu, Ace, Deuce, and Grim called him out for his tyranny…

The “what if” scenario being proposed here reminds me of this theory that someone else posed; basically, it suggests that maybe Mama Rosehearts also had a similar childhood as Riddle, so her treatment of him is her perpetuating what was imposed onto her in her girlhood and feeding into generational trauma and a cycle of abuse. Of course, this theory is mainly speculation rather than based on concrete evidence (since we don’t actually know a ton about Mama Rosehearts), but it’s still an interesting concept to consider 🤔

One point I’d like to clarify is that it isn’t outright stated that Mama Rosehearts mistreats her spouse (although it could definitely be inferred) or in what she ways she mistreats him. Riddle says in one of his Groom-for-a-day voice lines that he wishes the Queen of Hearts would impart the secret to a happy marriage with his own parents, implying that his mother and father have a rocky relationship. Many popular fan interpretations for Papa Rosehearts is that he is meek and cannot stand up for himself (similar to the King of Hearts), but to be honest, Papa Rosehearts could be just as toxic as his wife is; we don’t know for certain.

In any case, that would have been a sad and dark path for Riddle to go down 😔 Having the public image of a respectable and talented mage with a perfect family while that same family is falling apart at the seams behind the scenes… yikes. The more optimistic part of me’s like, “No way would Trey stand for that!! He’d hit a breaking point eventually and do/say something to Riddle!!” … But the less optimistic part of me’s going, “That’s a tough situation to be in. I don’t know what I’d do if I were Trey.”

When I really think about it 😔 I think Trey would not find the courage to intervene (at least not on his own). This isn’t to say that he’s a bad person, but I’m just thinking realistically. It’s difficult for someone—anyone—to stick their nose into another family’s “business”, especially while dealing with the intense remorse that Trey probably is. And the more Trey puts off telling Riddle (which, let’s be fair here, he already has been doing), the easier it will become for him to keep perpetuating those excuses, the more guilt will rack up from him not acting or saying anything before. It’ll get worse and worse, probably to the point where it starts to wear at Trey’s own mental health and wellbeing 🥲 He needs a hard push from an outside force maybe Chenya to really spring into action, because Trey is also in need of a good telling-off 💦

[kapi-tanka]

So I’ve been thinking about the Ramirez family again, my mind wonders at what could have caused the rift between them all. They all seem to think the distance between them is for the best, but each have differing reasons for why. 

Andy seems convinced that they don’t need their family, and is better off alone. But I can see in their one good eye, there’s resentment. Resentment and trauma. There’s a sense of abandonment that just emits from them. I get the feeling that Andy has never felt like they belonged anywhere. Even with their family, they never felt understood but I think Andy still loved them. And they loved Andy back, even if Andy couldn’t see it. 

Oscar seems convinced he isn’t good enough to be around his family, and they’re better off without him. There’s guilt under his fun loving and free spirited persona. Oscar loves his younger sibling, I can tell, but he never asked for the responsibility of being an older brother. 

Ovidio is the hardest for me to read. Maybe that’s why I didn’t realize he’s their uncle and not the eldest sibling lol. I can’t say why but I just feel that Ovidio caused the rift between them all, or at least played a significant hand in it. Ovidio seems to want someone to kill for. He wants someone whose name can justify his actions, but none of his family want to be that someone. 

Anyways, that's just my interpretation of your wonderful characters! Sorry that this is a bit long lol. I hope I got some of it right and I look forward to the next piece!

oh my GODD honestly it's insane how accurately you read all of my characters. i'm so so so humbled someone's invested in their story, thank you SO MUCH for you interest and your ask! i'm very sorry it took so long to answer, it's a bit hard to collect my thoughts.. but i truly appreciate your analysis! i made this scheme to support info under the cut. i must warn you that this story's a bit dark in a domestic way and... it's really long lol

so. you're mostly right about ovidio causing the rift! i hope i'm not ruining it for you by telling, i know that stories often seem much more interesting before we know any specific details. but basically the actual tragedy of the ramirez family has it roots not in the interpersonal drama (though it definitely played a significant role in everything) but in the ncr and fallout politics in general. all of them used to live in some independent settlement in california, with its own militia, farms, crop fields and traders before the ncr annexed them. the republic put this settlement through their standard modus operandi with enforcement of taxes and recruiting of many promising and not so promising youngsters in the army, including ovidio who was around 18 at the moment (i even have this sketch below with some arcade and ovidio bonding which kinda summarizes it)

mateo and ramona were traders. obviously, the ncr started to suck resources from the settlement (mostly crops and animal products) and they needed caravans to transport them. ramona and mateo (and some other settlers) took the job and both eventually were killed in one unfortunate trip by raiders (which at least partially are the aftermath of ncr's actions in california and nevada imo). so, as you said, andy was lonely and abandoned from very early on in their childhood. they were raised in this post-annexation "world" where their parents almost never had time for them and were never home. oscar was a bit more fortunate (he's 5 years older and had his chance to spend some quality time with mom and dad) and naturally he took their death harder than andy. ovidio was demoted from the ncr army (it's the whole other story) and came back to provide for children and his own parents. he was around 20 at the moment, oscar was 12 and andy only 7. the three of them grew to love each other with time but it was a baffling shift in family dynamics because oscar and andy were relatively independent kids and had never spent much time with ovidio before.

also oscar really wanted to accompany caravans himself (to get away from home a little and out of sheer curiosity about the world) and ovidio just wasn't having it. it literally was the same conflict between them over and over, so andy had to listen to constant bickering and drama which left a lasting impact on her psyche. the second thing that really traumatized andy was abuela's dementia - this slow decay of the mind of someone who was once very clever and loving. and the third thing... well. once upon a time oscar just LEFT after some especially heated argument and it changed everything once again. he didn't plan to run away for real, just wanted to party a little, to teach ovidio a lesson and to come back home. but he ended up meeting someone cute and kinda postponed and postponed his return to the point of never coming back LOL (he did kinda come back later but... spoilers). just like you guessed, he didn't believe his family needed him because his experience at home was basically doing hard labor and being yelled at. of course his family actually loved him and everyone was scared shitless about him including other settlers but... he never got to know that. he dissappeared without a trace because good luck to anyone who looks for a "dark-haired, dark-eyed lad of medium height" on the wastelands. ovidio didn't find him back then but he really tried, and his life became pretty much centered around this desperate search for oscar. andy grew up into a capable, cold and emotionally unavailable young adult by then. but her brother's escape was like a nail in the coffin of the avoidant attachment style. imagine 1) never having your parents around and losing them to the wastelands, 2) losing your grandma to dementia and seeing her literally not remembering your anymore, a fate worse than death in andy's opinion, 3) losing your brother to the wastelands too but this time he "deliberately" left you 4) losing your uncle to this obsession with finding your brother. andy AGAIN, JUST LIKE YOU SAID felt abandoned by others. they were a shadow, not noticed by anyone, not being anyone's priority, overworked at home, without any way to decide something for themselves. and it was the turning point when poor abuela fell sick and finally died. andy lost her last anchor to the hometown that stopped feeling like home a long time ago. and yeah. whoopsie. she left too! it was the first real decision in andy's life, a hard call to make yet a weirdly freeing one.

later on ovidio dropped what was left of the caravan business altogether and left their settlement too, this time to search for both "kids" who were adults at this point. that's how the things still are during the fnv events - the ramirez family is separated, all of them found some surrogates of familial relationships and left their impact on the political map of california and nevada. they reunite only after the independence ending (achieved by oscar). and speaking of your other observation: "Ovidio seems to want someone to kill for. He wants someone whose name can justify his actions, but none of his family want to be that someone" - it sounds more like how things play out after the big reunion. but... that's a whole other story :) thank you so much for reading and, once again, for this ask! had great time answering!!!

[emblemxeno]

Decided to take a shot at my own interpretation of “FE Warfare Morality” and whatnot that the fandom is screaming about.

Pacifist: War is absolute last resort no matter what. Celica, Eirika and Corrin could all realistically move to Pragmatist-Retaliatory and fit, but I put them in their own pacifist tier because they all have multiple in-story instances of diplomatic attempts at ending conflict of varying success (sparing enemies, reasoning with bandits, sacrifice of self or possessions); too many to not go noted imo.

Pragmatist-Retaliatory: Diplomacy and peaceful solutions are preferred, but warfare isn’t shied away from. Well aware of war’s reality, and if push comes to shove, they will take up arms. Characters in this tier often had homes invaded and/or parents killed by main aggressor. Avenging homeland or kin may also play a part. Eliwood could actually move up to pacifist because he is that self sacrificing, but I think he fits more where he is. Alm could go to Circumstance or Martial, but idk, he’s willing to give Fernand the benefit of the doubt in Act 3 and outright sends Rudolf an offer of a peace accord in Act 4 so I put him here. Seliph could also go to Circumstance because his willingness to try diplomacy more or less comes after the deed is done (such as questioning having to kill certain people being a necessity), but since his mercy and desire to prevent/avoid conflict is a part of his character, I put him here.

Pragmatist-Circumstance: Views and actions in regards to war are dependent on circumstance:

Lyn offers no quarter to bandits, pirates, or absolutely anyone who harms her family or friends, but is fair to special cases like Jaffar and Nino and does have instances of reasoning with others. 

Ike is a merc, so he often says how he feels doesn’t matter, but is regardless known to try and talk sense into people and be willing to smack folks around in equal measure. 

Micaiah doesn’t like needless conflict but understands the necessity in toppling Begnion’s oppressive rule in Daein and is forced into becoming a ruthless general during Part 3. 

Robin is similar to Ike, in that as a tactician his feelings don’t technically matter but is also known to value diplomacy or winning a battle depending on context. 

Lucina isn’t really in the leadership position enough to make peaceful or action-initiative calls, and when she is the leader in Future Past, it’s against the undead and the very evil Grima. However, her attempted assassination of Robin and general mixed feelings on what she’d do to save the future is enough for me to put her here.

Ryoma can techinically be retaliatory, but his own ignorance and xenophobia towards Nohr often prevents him from being diplomacy seeking, such as in CQ chapter 12. Nevertheless, he’s diplomatic enough after character development that he’s more dependent on circumstance.

Xander actually encourages the diplomatic approaches of Corrin more than once, before route split and during Conquest and Revelation, the latter two which he’s also an active participant in. However, his complicated feelings in regards to Garon and Nohr leads him to do bad things in the belief that it’ll be worth it, so he’s also circumstance.

Azura values peace and is known to compliment successful diplomatic approaches; however, she often questions Corrin’s more naive choices, weaves some relatively cold and calculated plans of her own, and is known to justify conflict more often than Corrin does.

Byleth is hard to guage because his alignment is route dependent, and he more or less serves as a support for the actual main character of said route. Plus his status as a silent protagonist muddies the waters a bit. Still, there is difference enough between the lack of mercy given to the Agarthans and the merciful fights towards former students that lets him land here.

Pragmatist-Martial: Preference for action over treaty attempts or negotiation during wartime, however, that doesn’t mean diplomacy is outright disliked or not valued by them. Hector, Ephraim, and Chrom are all appreciative of how their siblings strive for peace, and the latter two even attempt to emulate such actions on occasion. Sigurd was more than happy to try and pull out of Agustria, but even then, his most common solution to injustice was always marching on the enemy. Leif from the jump was gung-ho about taking down the oppressive forces in Thracia and had to be mellowed out a tad. Dimitri during his descent on the Azure Moon route could fit here, too, though honestly he’s such a unique case. Rhea I would also put here, or maybe Circumstance.

A lot of characters in the Pragmatist-Circumstance and Pragmatist-Martial tiers could also be lumped into Pragmatist-Retaliatory by general technicality (e.g. lots of these characters had homes invaded so retaliation is the expectation), but I wanted to be specific in talking about attitudes towards warfare.

Emperor: It’s just Edelgard lol. Despite her words about “not wanting civilians harmed” or her claims about the war being the only option, it means nothing when her first action in the game is attempted assassination of two people who she (at least to her knowledge in Dimitri’s case) never met. The assistance in kidnapping, subterfuge, conspiracy, human experimentation, and of course the 5 year war which inflicts copious amounts of different harm on the populous also cements her place here.

Plus the devs outright compared her position to past FE villains where she’s different in that she’s 1) a woman and 2) playable, so the twist where she’s behind the war is more of a surprise.

So yeah, that’s my list. Though really, I think trying to fit characters into these types of boxes is kinda stupid in the first place because all the main characters are just that different due to the contexts of their stories, so it’s just generally impossible to make the kinds of compare-and-contrast tier lists like these. Except Edelgard because of her inciting conflict being the one thing no other lord ever does.

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

i wish i had the energy and eloquence to fully and properly get into the family therapist mikey thing tbh it’s so hard to just. explain what i MEAN. 

(ftr i am an adult who does regularly touch grass. i understand interpretation and ymmv on characterization. i understand the catharsis of vent art and vent fic and projecting issues onto characters to process them. i don’t read through stuff i’ve found issues with and then seethe about it, i keep scrolling or hit the back button and find something else. 

i am still gonna talk about trends i’ve noticed and things that i don’t get or that rub me the wrong way. please don’t come into my posts about my personal thoughts and opinions to, however well-meaning or politely, judge me for expressing them. consider doing what i do and keep scrolling. i won’t engage with that. i would ask that no one else engages with that in replies or comments.

i also legit don’t Get tone indicators just ftr. they elude me.)

bc so much of the draxum moral realignment stuff was mikey being motivated largely by what mikey wanted. he wanted to see barry as family, he wanted barry to become part of the family, he wanted the story of their mutation to be less uh. objectively crummy.

now, mikey’s wants in that area served as a CATALYST for other development, him pursuing that (often very hamfistedly and despite many objections) wound up paving the way, but it was ultimately in the spirit of his personal desire. which ftr im not criticizing that’s very much part of the character.

he brought draxum to the big hidden city day out because it was a Family Event and he personally considered draxum family. splinter and draxum kinda coming to a truce, splinter reconciling that his mutation (despite the horrific trauma and long-lasting impact of it) was still what gave him his sons who he loves more than anything, that was all splinter and draxum. mikey’s action of bringing barry along was a catalyst, he was able to speak to his own feelings about it to splinter when it came up, but he wasn’t sitting there going “tell me how that makes you feel and we’ll talk through it” yknow?

and it’s the same with the dr feelings thing with donnie, which is arguably as close to Playing Therapist as mikey gets on screen. bc that was just a very Extra way of confronting donnie about the shelldon stuff. like. that was mikey inserting himself into the situation so he could give his personal opinion about how donnie was messing up, just with a sweater and a powerpoint. like. an intervention i guess. if donnie hadn’t gotten the picture from the slides he was probably all lined up for a dr delicate touch meeting.

which like, was also not being donnie’s therapist as much as a once again very hamfisted way of addressing something that mikey felt in the right about?

i’m wondering if maybe what i picture when i hear about a child having to play therapist for the family isn’t the same as what modern fandom means by saying it. because i picture like, what steven universe went through. which was practically singlehandedly, as a child, walk a bunch of adults through their own grief and insecurities and shortcomings with unending patience and support, to a point of pushing all his own needs and emotional issues aside.

where steven seemed convinced there were things that he wasn’t allowed to express or outright things he never got to learn to express, mikey is probably the most emotionally open and honest of all the brothers. he feels more outright sheltered. 

especially where his big brothers are concerned. the entire episode about his first solo mission he was chafing about being unnecessarily overprotected by raph. there’s a lot tied up in his relationship to raph if we take what the creators said about them growing apart as they’ve grown up into account. 

so i guess for me, in my understanding of the trauma of playing therapist at a young age, i can’t really reconcile what canon gives us with the idea of any of the other brothers or splinter (who is notably emotionally disconnected from his sons at series start) genuinely dropping their issues on his lap. 

but in that vein, for as much as he’s emotionally open and honest, i’m sure there are also insecurities and issues that mikey doesn’t express. or. that canon for some reason just decided to not dig into in any of the episodes that actually got made.

but ohhhhh that’s a whole separate can of worms.