#insight and understanding

[mswyrr]

Things like prolonged abuse can give people very uneven social and emotional development. They can be very responsible and "mature for your age" in some areas and also very stunted and immature in others.

This can also happen for, say, LGBT people who were closeted during pivotal periods of development too, where dating and discovering themselves happens later and there can be a development gap for a time. And grief around never getting to be a kid when they were a kid can be a thing for people once they try to connect with the things they had to cut off because they weren't safe to feel them. I went through some of that myself, from various sources, so I have a lot of empathy for that and how absurd/frustrating it can be.

(And a lot of hope - it doesn't, as far as I've seen and experienced, take someone very long to "catch up" after a while of fumbling around like an idiot)

Anyway - sometimes I see people reading Carmy's "accidental fuckboi" behavior in terms of how a grown man who's been dating since he was a teen would be thinking/feeling, if he behaved like that. But, for me, I interpret that differently because of the “first” situation and the developmental stuff. IMO, he's basically being a feckless/inexperienced teenager dating for the first time here, because in this area of his life he is still developmentally a dumb feckless teenager (and one who is trying and failing "not to be shitty" without much of a clue what that looks like).

Doesn't make the harm less real, but the intent I think is shaped deeply by the fact that, for the first time in his life, he feels safe enough (because of how much responsibility Sydney and Nat are taking on and that is absolutely not fair to them!!) to try to enjoy things. And he thinks maybe he can even make that work with being responsible somehow, but... utterly clueless about how.

There's the caveat that he didn't go out and choose to start dating at this pivotal moment for the business - dating found him and there's complexities around how much he wanted it to find him right here and now and how much he feels obligated to be what his family/friends/Claire wants him to be. I think he'd have been able to turn down anyone who wasn't as deeply tied to his family as Claire, and I'm not ignoring his agency in the situation, but they chose to bring someone in who he'd find it incredibly difficult to balance pleasing/doing what he's expected to do by while balancing everything else for a reason.

The "executive function" stuff where he's staring at the calls coming in and unable to answer either of them is key for me, in terms of this being someone who just isn't functioning well rn at all and is coming to a real crisis point and trying to ignore that/salve that any way he can think of. Masking really hard and deep in denial and trying to keep a lot of plates spinning without being very intentional about any of it.

It leads to sucky behavior and he's responsible for that--and the other characters can and should hold him responsible for that, but especially for actually addressing the core gravity warping untreated mental illness that's motivating a lot of this frantic rushing around and being a prick-- but I don't personally see much of it as a crime of intent. Intent requires a level of insight and experience that he doesn't have in the area of dating specifically lol

That balance of someone being responsible for their actions but also, for various reasons, in a place that mitigates and shapes what they're able to do--based on the tools they have--is an interesting part of the story that gets touched on again and again through various characters. It's interesting and it can coexist with the people around someone having the right to protect their own peace and boundaries.

[chloesimaginationthings]

The FNAF Mikes talk about their extended family..

[pocketgalaxies]

cannot imagine being caleb widogast btw and having such a fixed view of yourself as this irredeemable monstrous man who wishes for nothing more than to atone for the unatonable while also questioning whether you even deserve to live long enough to do so and then befriending this girl who is notorious for never sparing anyone's feelings when she has something to say and has, since you've known her, intentionally rebuilt herself from the ground up into someone who is real and direct and honest even when it hurts, and for her to lean forward and look into your eyes and say, with a magnitude of brutal honesty that only she could muster, that it Wasn't Your Fault.

[leafyeyes417]

Danny sat on a rooftop feeling confused. It was currently 3 days later than he last remembered. That was 3 DAYS with no memory of anything. He didn’t even know what city he was in. The only thing he is sure of is that it wasn’t mind control. His experience with Freakshow let him know that.

Along with this feeling more similar to the time his mom shoved high proof cleaning alcohol that was ectofied in his face during an excited rant. The fumes alone had him missing a few hours. Luckily Jazz was there and kept his blackout drunk self entertained.

So the question was, where the hell was he and what did he do?! Also, what caused him to blackout? Last he remembered he was in Metropolis and he got nearly hit in the head with a green glowing stone that he only vaguely could tell was somehow not ectoradium. After that? Nothing.

Aka: Kryptonite is highly compressed ectoplasm and causes Danny to get black out drunk just by being in its vicinity.

P.S. I also would love to see what chaos you think Danny would get up to lol

[quicksilversnails]

Took some notes from the Wild Life retrospective episode of the Imp & Skizz podcast featuring Grian because I thought the behind the scenes info was really interesting!

(3:15) The wild cards were all kept totally secret from the players (apart from Grian), with the exception of the superpowers and finale (as they required the players to set keybinds)

(3:45) The players were given files containing the required mods each week, which were named things like "creeper rain" to throw them off

(4:12) Wild cards were a combination of data packs and mods

(4:38) Grian told them not to read the folder name to avoid spoilers (which is kind of impossible), so everyone fully believed there would be creeper rain lol. Grian was saying it in jest but everyone took it seriously and were apologetic about having seen it, to which Grian told them not to worry

(6:58) Grian originally contacted a data pack dev called Brace for help with programming the wild cards. Some, like the shrinking/growing could be achieved with minecraft attributes, but the snails were too janky and unusable. Grian still liked the idea though, so he reached out to mod developers Henkelmax and Breadloaf, who designed the pathfinding/behaviour from scratch

(8:49) They had a debugging mode used to test the pathfinding of the snails, shown in the podcast and in Grian's credits

(10:09) Grian wants most of the credit to go to the development team and artists, as he was mostly in charge of ideas & organization!

(10:39) Grian's only regret with the snails was that they were too fast in session 3, leading to unexpectedly many deaths. They were apparently not so difficult to get away from during testing, but perhaps the testers were more used to them than the players were

(11:44) Grian: "We did develop to the lowest common denominator" ie. prioritizing how players would struggle over how worrying about if players would do too well

(12:56) Oli's voice for the snails was iconic. It cost Impulse a life because he intentionally stayed closer to it to hear the voice lol

(13:42) Danny was in charge of the snail models and animations

(14:11) During testing, the snails just sounded like Oli, which made it feel weird. They pitched up his voice so that it'd be less immediately recognizable

(15:18) The snails' jumping attack was meant to be clearly telegraphed: they would stop, wiggle, make a "ooeee" sound before jumping. Many players had their friendly creatures volume turned very low/off (as cows and other mobs are loud), which made this attack much less obvious for them

(16:57) The growing/shrinking had the least testing done for it, as it was the simplest conceptually and to program. This meant that the falling off of blocks due to the shrinking hitboxes wasn't anticipated

(17:55) Before the 1st session, Grian told them that he didn't think anyone would die to the wild card. Pearl's death made Grian pretty nervous, as he didn't want everyone dying too early in the season

(19:29) 6 lives were given, knowing that many of the death to the wild cards were unexpected/unfair. The intent was for ~3 lives to be allocated for wild cards, and ~3 for PvP.

(21:13) The developers were all fans of the Life Series!

(22:43) The shrinking/growing was intentionally pretty simple to ease players/viewers into the concept and build up toward more dramatic wild cards like the snails

(25:38) In the hunger episode, Grian didn't know which foods would be good

(25:58) Grian thinks that "it's unfair that Grian already knows everything" is valid criticism, but that it's important for him to be involved with the ideas. Having someone else do that is like having someone else record his videos: Life Series is his brainchild

(26:35) Well before the season began, while they were still developing the concept, Grian asked the other players for wild card ideas that would meet a few criteria. All of them ended up being unused for one reason or another. Impulse thinks his ideas were very "inside the box" because he was viewing things through what was possible in vanilla Minecraft. His idea was to have a scavenger hunt where the players would search to find a relic. The first person to find it would get a buff. Skizz's idea was for every player to turn into a random passive mob for every given interval of time. They would have to find every other player of the same mob type as them or else the whole group loses a life.

(29:44) The food qualities were weighted by the rarity of the item, so very common blocks like dirt and cobblestone would never give anything good. The other items were randomly selected

(30:23) Regular blocks/items cannot be made edible normally, so they had to circumvent that and custom code a fix for items not stacking correctly

(32:41) While a lot of players do want to win, the main priority is creating entertainment, which prioritizes playing recklessly

(33:20) The food wild card wasn't included in the finale because it would've felt like "too much". There was a higher risk of technical issues since it changed the data values of items, and Grian didn't want someone's last death to be because they ate their sword. In his mind, it was a good and fun wild card, but didn't need to be repeated in the finale. Impulse points out that they all would have collected more rare items by that point, removing the incentive to search for blocks to eat

(33:46) The wild cards in the finale were nerfed from their original sessions. The shrinking/growing had a smaller height range, the snails moved slower, etc.

(36:21) The personalized snail skins were a late addition by Danny, who made 18 skins very quickly

(36:49) Grian did not anticipate the snails becoming as popular with fans as they were. After the session released, they had the idea to release the snail merchandise, which directly funded the rest of the season

(39:20) Grian spent what "felt like every day" testing with the developers. They'd record the sessions on Tuesdays, meet up with the dev team, talk about what need to be done, testing, bugs, etc, edit and upload on Saturday, and would get a few days grace before starting again

(40:01) After the snail session, Grian was worried that the season would be very short due to all the deaths. They were considering toning down the later wild cards but ultimately didn't change them too much

(40:36) The time wild card was carefully balanced. If it had gone even a little faster, many players likely would have died because they wouldn't have time to react to threats like baby zombies or creepers.

(40:57) While sessions normally run for a variable amount of time, session 4 was hardcoded at 2 hours. Grian ended the session ~10 minutes early, just after they hit max speed, because he felt like things were getting dicey

(42:46) When the wild card first activates, it looks a lot like the server had frozen or crashed. Grian told the players before the session started that it would look like the game was broken, but that it isn't broken. Skizz tabbed out anyway and missed the beginning 😔

(43:30) Having the rain start just as the wild card began was a good visual indicator of time slowing down. This was a suggestion from the dev team (probably Brace)

(44:41) Impulse and Grian "cheesed" the end of the session by going branch mining. Grian wanted players to take advantage of the wild cards (eg. mining quickly, helping to kill someone), and not have them just be an annoyance.

(45:30) Keeping the client and server-side time stay in sync was challenging. The sky's motion was changed to be smoother on client-side. The players were also not as fast as the server (around 2x faster), the server was going faster than that, and the time of day was even faster

(46:56) The sounds were pitched up/down based on the speed to add to the effect

(27:46) In testing, if the players were made 7x faster, it would be basically unplayable, which was why it was capped at 2x speed. This made mobs very dangerous, as they were now faster than players and could catch up to you and kill you easily

(49:01) On several occasions, they had to extend the fuse duration of creepers to make them more fair. In the time session, their speed was only increased by ~10%

(49:39) Usually, Grian was the one to test the wild cards and notice when things like creeper speed would be an issue, since he was the one with experience making videos

(50:50) A challenge with balancing wild cards is accounting for the playstyles of so many players: reckless players like Scar and Skizz, "kind and gentle" players like Bigb who would stay off to the sides, and "the sweat squad" (Scott, Impulse) who play very cautiously

(52:48) Trivia Bot was the only wild card that was not planned in advance. Grian was struggling to come up with a wild card for that episode, and wanted to have a wild card available that could give people lives in case many people died to early wild cards without it feeling cheap.

(53:33) Trivia seemed a little boring on its face, so presentation was essential

(54:34) This one made Grian the most stressed due to all the moving parts involved in making it (coding and pathfinding mostly by Henkelmax, visuals by Hoffen, audio/music, questions)

(55:08) Trivia Bot's design was based on Grumbot and Mettaton from Undertale. Hoffen drew concept art shown in the video

(58:32) They show Trivia Bot's custom animation for becoming a snail and it's really cool

(59:12) The music was the most stressful part of the project. Grian spent 2-3 days looking through Epidemic Sounds for a Trivia Bot theme song and couldn't find anything good. He commissioned Zera @hopepetal for a theme song, which is played in the podcast. However, Grian realized he needed a full audio package, so he commissioned Oli late in development, who created the final soundtrack and many audio variations

(1:01:38) Grian wants to send appreciation for everyone who worked on the project, even if their work ultimately went unused

(1:02:58) Skizz was happy to give back however he could by staying on standby in the final episode as a zombie, as the players were able to "reap all the benefits" of the hard work of the development team

(1:05:21) Grian didn't know any of the trivia questions beforehand, which were done by fans of the series. The goal was for ~50% of the questions to be answered correctly, which was approximately met

(1:07:11) Players couldn't get questions about themselves because it would be too easy. This would encourage players to leave their bot, allowing other players to mess with them

(1:07:57) Grian felt a little left out from the discovery element of the wild cards, and decided to mess with Scar by hiding his bot. He wasn't expecting Scar to die from it, and could tell that he was genuinely a little upset by it. Grian felt bad about it, which led to a genuine in-game alliance between them

(1:12:32) Grian was very close to letting Trivia Bot give lives as rewards, but decided it would feel too cheap

(1:14:38) Mob swap was slightly toned down, with more camels and sniffers spawning

(1:15:07) Evokers didn't drop totems anymore. Instead, there was a minuscule chance a warden or wither would spawn, which would drop a totem if killed. Grian was a little disappointed that the warden got cheesed in the end

(1:17:45) Having the mobs start passive and turn hostile was mostly for the presentation, building anticipation, and so players could predict where mobs would spawn and react accordingly, making things feel less unfair

(1:20:32) There was no superpower made for Skizz (or Mumbo presumably)

(1:20:38) The superpowers were another late addition. There was a large design doc where Grian created all the powers, which were handed over to Henkelmax and completed over 4 days

(1:21:42) Grian avoided superpowers involving strength, that could cause someone to die easily. Most of the powers were social or movement-based, which couldn't be used for offence as easily

(1:22:25) Some powers were randomly assigned, others weren't. Impulse's was random. Cleo's, Bigb's, Lizzie's, Grian's were assigned.

(1:24:25) Grian gave himself the mimic because it could easily backfire (like in Grian's fall damage death), and because it would've been confusing for a player who wasn't aware of the other powers. They likely would've spent the episode just figuring out how everything worked and not actually using the power to its best ability

Lots of discussion about the superpowers and how they interacted in the episode itself, go watch if you're interested :)

(1:33:38) Talk on how the series "standard" rules evolved since 3rd Life. There was no keep inventory, and no restrictions on enchanting levels or potions, which created slow or unbalanced fights

(1:36:23) 3rd Life was designed to be an experimental series, which made Grian eager to improve it. For example, some people just weren't dying in 3L, leading to the boogeyman in LL, and so on

(1:37:17) The goal with the seasons isn't to one-up the previous one, but to create a different experience every time, which keeps things engaging for the creators

(1:38:31) At the end of each session, Grian would ask the group if they had fun and how they felt about the wild cards. According the Skizz, the answer was "a resounding yes"

(1:39:08) Grian had moments throughout the season where he personally felt like things didn't go well for him, and was anxious for the rest of the group's episodes. Things worked out while editing the raw footage, though. His issues were never with the wild cards themselves, but his own actions (traps not working, spending too long branch mining), but would always find funny moments in his footage

(1:43:41) Everyone in the Life Series cast genuinely likes and genuinely respects everybody else in the group. This allows them to make the show and get mad at each other, because they know it's all just in-character

(1:44:50) It'd be hard to top Wild Life in spectacle, and Grian doesn't want to start an arms race with himself. The next season could potentially be closer to 3rd Life, but Grian's not sure yet. For Grian, Wild Life was the most enjoyable

(1:45:20) Grian: "As long as people keep enjoying [the Life Series] then I'd love to keep doing it"

(1:49:35) With the finale, Grian knew how the wild cards played out the previous sessions and was able to adjust them

(1:49:56) Grian's goal was to create safe chaos where everyone knew what was happening and wouldn't die to them, which didn't go entirely to plan. The snails were 60% of their original speed and people still died

(1:51:03) Grian made a precise timeline of when each wild card would start/stop, it wasn't randomized.

(1:54:16) All the superpowers were randomized, with Bdubs' power being removed from circulation because it didn't have much use in a finale setting

(1:56:10) It was important for Grian that in the final moments, the wild cards were removed, so there were no interruptions. The timing worked out well because there were a few people left and it ended within ~10 minutes (this implies that the change wasn't based on # of players alive, as people had speculated based on Gem's death)

(1:58:48) The players all randomly switched to zombie skins throughout the session to mess with people on NameMC. Well-played :)

[t4transsexual]

really unpopular opinion but if ur trans u should probably lie to ur doctors. not all of them necessarily, but like you could and should especially in the er/urgent care, specifically if what youre having treated/checkups for has nothing to do with your transition. i had chest pain from binding for years that wasnt addressed because i was told it was just anxiety, until the first time i stealthed at the er. suddenly they wanted to run tests on me and said that my ribs were fucked up but they didnt know from what. ive had chest pain for years and i thought i was binding safely but i was also binding for 6 1/2 years before my operation and youre not really supposed to do that

also, even if youre getting gender affirming care, they do not need to know all the details. gay/lesbian/st4t? they dont need to know. transfem top/transmasc bottom looking for srs? dont tell them that. nonbinary/nondysphoric /otherwise gender nonconforming? dont fucking tell them that. a lot of trans people that arent t4c heterosexual and binary trans people, or just trans people who dont follow traditional gender norms during sex/in general are discriminated against all the time. you cannot lie to your doctors about everything, but theres a lot of things that you honestly should just keep to yourself when seeking care as a trans person. as far as your doctor is concerned, youre a binary trans person who isnt comfortable disclosing their personal sex life and its none of their business. letting them think ur a binary trans t4c heterosexual is the smart thing to do

[francesderwent]

thinking about snarky cultural/theological commentary and. the thing about snark is this: it’s easy, and it’s instant gratification. it’s easy because you’re playing to a likeminded audience. you get the way they think, you know the sort of things they find ridiculous, and so you know what’s going to play well with them. it’s not that hard to come up with a zinger that’s going to earn you applause from your own side. it’s also pretty easy to make another human being who’s not on your side look stupid, because we’re stupid creatures and we all have plenty of exploitable weak spots. it’s preaching to the choir, and it’s preaching meanly to the choir. and then, your snark bears all its fruit right away. you get the glowing feeling of having scored points against the enemy while being patted on the back by your friends for being so brave. if you succeeded in being snarky, you get the rewards of snark that very instant.

on the other hand, seeking to share the truth you possess in a mode in which it could actually be received—that is, says St Thomas, according to the mode of the recipient—that’s hard, and it’s so far from being instantly gratifying that you may never see the fruits of it in this life. not only are you not thinking about your likeminded audience, you’re not even going to trot out the truth simply in the way you understand it and call it your best effort. rather, you have to try to get inside your interlocutor’s frame of mind and understand how the truth you know is going to fulfill their own priorities and longings. you have to understand them so well that you see the truth of their position, even if that truth is buried very very deep, and then see how that truth connects them to the truth you see. you have to be insightful, and compassionate, and so, so patient. you don’t get to score any points, with anybody. your interlocutor might still get annoyed with you and turn around and make you look stupid. but you can’t just say “I’m going to speak the truth and I don’t care who hears and how they take it”—you have to care how they take it, because the truth is relational, it’s given and received, not just spouted into a void. and frankly you have to care how they take it because you have to care about their salvation.

don’t get me wrong, there are times in every person’s life when they will be called to stand up and be counted, to put fumbling words to what they hold most dear even if they can’t make everyone understand. but I don’t know that it’s a virtue to be always focused on being seen saying the truth, with no consideration given to who hears you and what they’ll hear in it—and it’s certainly not a virtue to be always focused on being seen saying the truth in a mean and funny way. “instruct the ignorant” is a spiritual work of mercy. but instruct the ignorant does not mean “instruct the ignorant while making the knowledgeable laugh and/or high five.”

[deimcs]

[VARRIC] Let's just try not to do that again. Bianca hates being turned on her friends.

[palatinewolfsblog]

"A profound insight: Time is not merely money; Time is the essence of life." - Ernst Ferstl

[ananonymousbirb]

My name is PrinceZam. This is my story.

aaaaah why must you be so sad… I hate him :( he makes me sad

if he actually gets a win it’s going to be the most cathartic thing ever

version without text and stuff under cut

[avasthesia]

okay so when benson tells randy he's been watching him, acknowledges the fact out loud that randy is seen, it's a connection and simultaneous projection of bensons own wants and needs. from all we are shown it's easy to assume benson lacked the support a child desperately needs when processing a traumatic event, especially that of abuse. whether he ever spoke up about it or not it's clear nothing was ever done. there's only so much guessing as to whether or not the abuse benson suffered lead to any behavioral changes in his home or school life, but again, regardless of if there were any "signs" the adults in his life could've caught, they were either missed or ignored.

so benson grows up and up in a sort of isolated suffering, continuing on living when he's got all this hurt and confusion and no one to explain it to him, no one to tell him how to be okay. it both warps and cements his beliefs that if nobody comes to help you, you have to do it all alone. this thinking likely keeps him from being able to process and move past his trauma. if you're like me, bensons portrayal is deeply personal, deeply relatable, and even if it isn't, there's humanity to be seen in bensons character (shout out 2 u kyle 🗣️)

this is what benson sees in randy. when you've lived it, the signs are easier to recognize, and maybe benson saw the way randy was wasting away between coworkers and customers alike, and over time began to see something familiar. not a mirror, but a reflection. when he listens to randy's story about ms beard outside the mall, though he laughs at first, he still reaches out to connect to and comfort randy by wiping his tears. benson also telling randy he was only a kid and that he can't blame himself for what happened is just another way he projects his needs onto randy. thisss is whyy i feel bensons verbal acknowledgment of his observing of randy is so pertinent to his character.

it's likely that no one ever told benson that they saw him, no one ever watched benson struggle through life and thought to themself that he needed guidance and change so that the weight of his world wouldn't fall so heavy on his shoulders anymore. in his own very crude and very violent way, benson attempts to give randy what he always lacked, someone giving a shit enough to step up and intervene.

[philosophybits]

Philosophical wisdom is the philosophizer's quite personal affair. It must arise as his wisdom, as his self-acquired knowledge tending toward universality, a knowledge for which he can answer from the beginning, and at each step, by virtue of his own absolute insights.

Edmund Husserl, Cartesian Meditations

[thepersonperson]

JJK Yapfest Masterlist

Last Updated: January 7, 2025

I decided to organize this by character focus and chronologically. Newest addition is bolded.

Please be aware that I am heavily influenced by the visual novel Umineko (not the anime do not watch it) and the Baki manga/anime. Consume both of these series in full if you can.

Gojo Satoru

Thoughts on the tragedy of Gojo Satoru and narrative cruelty towards him as of JJK 261.

Relationship with Hanami

Relationship with Toji and Geto

Gojo kind of sucks at being Megumi's dad but he’s definitely his dad. (An analysis of Gojo and Megumi's messy relationship.)

Ryomen Sukuna

Thoughts on Sukuna and Kenjaku’s relationship as of JJK 258.

Sukuna's Loneliness Part 1 (Thoughts on Sukuna's Dehumanization as of JJK 261.)

Sukuna's Loneliness Part 2 (Sukuna is a fraud and it's funny.)

Sukuna's Type (Sukuna favoring Gojo, Jogo, and Uraume)

Sukuna's Loneliness Part 3 (Sukuna's hatred of Yuji is jealousy.)

Sukuna is a human, not a curse.

Backstory Theory

Sukuna’s Loneliness Part 4 (Sukuna’s Negative Rizz)

Sukuna’s You Pronouns

Sukuna’s Tattoos

Sukuna Can't Tell the Time (The unique way Sukuna is damned to eternal miscommunication and existentialism in the modern era.)

Sukuna’s Loneliness Part 5 (Sukuna Did Nothing Wrong in the Heian Era, Probably)

Miscellanous

The Reproductive Horror of JJK Part 1 (The Loss of Bodily Autonomy)

The Reproductive Horror of JJK Part 2 (Dealing with Trauma)

Autism in JJK Part 1 (Isolation and Movies) [ft. Mahito, Yuji, Todo, and Gojo]

Not True Yapfests

JJK and Labor Theory

Gojo's Character Flaws

Sukuna's Wordplay

The day Sukuna and Gojo met.

Is Kenjaku a sicko forcefem enthusiast?

Fubroshis

The Dudebros Did Queer Readings First

Sukuna Loves Gojo

What is going on with r/Jujustufolk?

What is going on with r/GrapplerBaki?

Alternative to JJK's Ending (For those who want some Itafushi angst inspiration.)

Part 1 (Why the hell is JJK 270 called Dream's End?)

Part 2 (Why does everyone feel so out of character in JJK 268–270?)

Part 3 (My prediction was wrong and what we got really sucks.)

Yuji and Megumi Character Songs

Megumi's reaction to Toji is weird.

Yuji made the dream for Gojo too.

More clock symbolism and wonkiness.

The End of YuMeNo

The RikaBus makes no sense.

Other people finding JJK 270 wonky.

Anon I am so sorry.

Notes

If I preface something with “written as JJK Chapter Number” it’s because there are speculations/ideas that are subject to change as the manga updates. Analyses that are unlikely to be impacted by future content don’t have that. (Though the increases in flashbacks makes me nervous as fudge.)

Bullying me is allowed at all times. I am stupid and cannot grow without criticism. (If there are syntax/grammar errors or missing image citations let me know in the replies.)

If you don’t want to see my formal ramblings block this tag: #cactus yaps

If you don’t want to see my informal ramblings block this tag: #cactus yaps?

If you don’t want to see my asides/bad jokes/weird hobbies block this tag: #cactus shut up

Alternate perspectives/commentary that are a direct response to my posts will be tagged as: #cactus gets yapped at

Remember: Without love, it cannot be seen.

[polari]

breaking my silence on chess the musical to say that i would literally not give a fuck about this show if i thought it was good or fully successful at what it is saying. SORRY! i love how messy she is. i love how since 1984 and continuing to this very day people with entirely different perceptions of and opinions on the musical have attempted in their own ways to "make it good" by creating all these different versions with like notably different plots, characterization, and song order, and i love how fucking bad the vast majority of these are despite it all. i hope people keep trying to fix chess the musical forever and until the end of time. i hope no one ever figures it out. i want every currently living theatre director in existence to make their own version and for all these versions to come out on broadway at the same time, making that year's musical season entirely comprised of various different versions of the cold war chess musical by tim rice and half of abba. i want not only our greatest minds but also our middlest-of-the-road and worst minds to come up with their own conclusions as to why chess does not entirely work in its original form or any subsequent forms like to really think about it and yes i do want someone to dedicate their entire life to perfecting chess by releasing version after version after version until they die peacefully but still, as always, in the grips of obsession. i want marriages to be broken up. i want mental states to be shattered. i dream of this world

[rustedleopard]

"Why did Ceroba inject her child with an experimental serum despite Chujin's warnings? Is she a total idiot? That makes no sense, she's a bad parent! This is bad writing!!!"

SHE THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE!!! Chujin blamed the serum failing solely on the fact that the SOUL he used was "impure." Nothing about his technique or anything he did; to him the problem was that the SOUL was "impure." So when Kanako pointed out that Ceroba had improvised a method to extract impurities from the SOUL sample, then it made sense that, since the only issue with the serum was taken care of, it should've been safe to use. That was likely the only deviation that Ceroba did when crafting Chujin's serum, and she probably figured that she'd screwed up removing the impurities instead of questioning anything about her husband's serum; hence why she tries leading a "pure-hearted" Clover to the Royal Laboratory to try making the serum with Kanako all over again. Ceroba's admiration and inability to find fault with Chujin led to her injecting Kanako with the serum, not bad writing or whatever.