#I feel like it'd give you a sense of separation while not being super far from other folks

[belethlegwen]

Hi! I've read The Stranding 3 times now, but for some reason I'm still incredibly confused by Melanie's house. Are there 3 levels? Where's Henry's room? The kitchen?? The living room? (Are there multiple???) I don't know if it's too much to ask, but could you clarify what room is on which level? Thank you! :) <3

Hi there! I think you mean The Rescue, but I appreciate the question all the same!

The house in The Rescue is a two-storey split-level home, so there's technically four floors with three half-sets of stairs to go between all of them.

Melanie's bedroom is on the top floor, along with the upstairs bathroom (where she takes baths), and two spare rooms that are mostly for storage. There's a half-flight of stairs that leads down to the front entrance area on the main floor, and the main floor houses the main livingroom (TV, that L-shaped sectional) and is open-concept through the diningroom and kitchen. The sliding glass doors to the backyard are by the diningroom area.

Just between the front entrance and the kitchen are the stairs leading down to the downstairs level, which is where the downstairs livingroom is (another TV and a different couch, this is where Henry and Melanie had their first conversation once they came back in from the Massengale the first time, where he tried to interrogate her about the government structures) Henry's room, the downstairs bathroom/closets and the back door which is the main entrance Melanie uses in the house.

From there is the last half-set of stairs to the basement, where the laundry room/pantry/basement storage is, along with her Dad's office/music room.

I drew a really terrible, super rough and probably inaccurate layout, though! The green lines are the positions of the inside doors, the dark red solid lines are the doors to the outside, blue line is the sliding glass doors, and the squiggly paintlines are the stairs (light brown for stairs connecting the levels you see in the image, red for stairs connecting the levels you see to the other layer of bad drawing)

Thank you so so much for the ask! Hope this helps!

[EDIT] HEY COOL I JUST NOTICED NONE OF MY DOOR EDITS SAVED. Gimme a second to edit the image.

[coralcatsea]

HetaOni Fanmade Ending Thoughts

I have both compliments and criticisms and just want to give my honest thoughts after playing.

I enjoyed the scenes with the nations themselves, such as Italy being trapped in his mind in a perfect simulation and Holy Rome, Prussia, Romano, and the two ancients working together to get him out. I liked the basic idea that Russia's seemingly disturbing phone calls were actually him trying to help, but not saying anything because he could never find the right time. I think the way England got his sight back made enough sense, although I think it'd be even better if he was shown having to deal with the consequences of the sacrifice a bit more, plus maybe America having more moments to react, get upset, and help him out.

What I didn't get into, however, was the explanation for why the events of the game happened. In short, everything with the 2ps. For me, their existence in the game felt very random and not at all organic. I think the plot with them could work in another game, but not HetaOni, because the original game had no build up that would ever make me expect a universe domination scheme with 2ps, plus the themes and styles don't match. It'd be like if you took Coraline and threw in an evil organisation that employed witches to rid the world of children, haha.

I think a backstory/myth just surrounding the lore of that one cursed house would've worked better, something focused more on Ryuuzu and the creatures as mysterious supernatural entities on their own rather than elements of a super ambitious plot. Maybe they can't even be fully explained. I do have ideas, but I feel it'd be better to make a separate post for that.

Moving on to the ending itself, I have mixed feelings. While the nations worked very hard together, I feel like the 2ps just deciding on their own to hand over an escape portal felt a bit...anticlimactic? It sort of removed their agency. I think it would've been better if they acquired an escape route on their own. Either by finding it, defeating a final boss and taking it, or even having to convince the one keeping them trapped to let them go.

Then, when they do leave the mansion, I'm okay with them expecting to lose their memories since that brought about a very sweet scene I felt fit all their growth so far, but then there should be a scene that triggers the memories to come back. That sort of happened with the candy, but it felt unsatisfying how little they remembered, because then it's hard to tell how much their arcs meant in the end. If their memories have to stay gone then I feel like they should at least have a moment expressing how strangely, they all feel a great deal closer to each other and less alone than ever before, maybe in an epilogue scene at the sleepover thing they decide to have.

These are just my opinions. Maybe they'll be taken into consideration for the remake, maybe they won't, but either way, it was interesting to see a continuation of the game. The art was great and made it a lot easier to take serious moments, well, seriously. Also, I don't know if/how much the original dialogue got tweaked, but it felt better than I remember. I'm sure it took a lot of hard work to recreate the game, so congratulations to Cookie for starting the project and seeing it through.

[jsio]

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

MILES PROWER, ANTI-TAILS

Moebius' true king.

Art by Arealscrog

Archie's wasted character

Who is Miles?

Miles Prower is the Anti equivalent of Tails, from Mobius Prime. He is afew years older, being 11 instead of 8 and much more mature. He still appears to possess Tails' youthful tenacity and desire for independence, but he has a violent rebellious attitude and shows no interest in holding himself to childish things, even though he's only 11 years old himself, hating the nickname "Tails" being an example.

Miles holds his younger counterpart in utter contempt for traits Miles sees as weaknesses, especially how Tails went down the path of Science and technology instead of his magical Chaos force heritage, implying that Miles went down a more mystical path instead of Science, but from what we see in the comic Miles is more in the political field, by that I mean he manipulates all the political aspects of Moebius.

His actions throughout the comic run make him out to be smart, picky, but also cold, calculating and always 5 steps ahead of his own team and Adversaries, this leading to Alicia making him the Suppression Squads leader behind the scenes, while she is the figurehead "ruler."

---------------------------------------------

That's Anti-Tails, Who throughout this I'll be reffering to as "Miles." Now you may be thinking, "Why make a post on an extremely obscure and hardly used Archie character? Why not someone Like Tails, Shadow or a more popular Archie character?"

Well, it's because I believe that Miles had the potential to be one of Archie's most intresting original characters, I believe he could've easily held his own "Suppression Squad" comic run, but Archie Unfortunately really underused him and wasted his potential, but hey...

That's where us fans come in!

---------------------------------------------

This post is All about Miles Canonical self, every canon fact I can find about him and his full story in his short run during Pre-Reboot Archie Sonic, and my own personal headcanons in the later post.

But...before I get into any the headcanons, I need to teach those who don't know him about him, I need to talk about his Canonical self..so, let's get into it. Headcanons will be in the follow up post.

Canonical Apprearnces.

(Reworded from the wiki)

First appearance

The first appearance of Anti-Tails was back when the character was just "Evil Tails" and it was of him joining the Anti Freedom fighters in an attempt to take over Mobius Prime, prior to the downfall of Eggman.

He and his evil allies pretended to be the good Mobius Prime versions, and struck knothole with acts of mayhem, vandalism and overall mischief, a common thing on moebius. The real Freedom Fighters soon returned to set things straight, but their initial attempts to defeat the Anti-Freedom Fighters failed as their Anti-Mobius selves knew their moves as well as they did. Sally Acorn came upon the solution: switching combat partners. When he faced Rotor, Evil Tails proved unable to overcome the larger and stronger Mobian. Defeated along with the other Anti-Freedom Fighters, he was sent back to Anti-Mobius, where they continued to cause mayhem despite the efforts of the kindly Dr. Ivo Kintobor (Anti-Robotnik) to stop them.

This was the last we saw Evil Tails for awhile, however we did see a cameo of him along with every other tails when they all came together and formed Titan Tails.

The Suppression Squad

Art by Pota on Pixiv

Some time passed before his next appearance, and in that time "Anti-Mobius" went through changes in its name, now "Moebius." And all the characters changed alongside it.

Miles had assisted Boomer in stealing Dr Kintober's goal posts in order to allow the Suppression Squad to have access to inter-dimensional travel. Scourge obviously took this opportunity and went straight to Mobius Prime, along with a few other members of the SS, Miles being one of them, and they attempted an assult on the Freedom HQ, where we see Miles' and Tails face off, with Miles declaring to not be referrd to as Tails or Anti-Tails, but instead just "Miles".

He also indicated his disgust at Tails for having chosen a path of Science and study, despite having a strong connection to "Chaos force", aka magic. This has led to people believing Miles himself is a magic user.

When Metal Sonic attacked Scourge, believing him to be the real Sonic, Miles stayed back and observed instead of helping his king. Now, you may think that's betrayal, but in reality Miles didn't help because he did not wish to undermine Scourges strength, so instead he observed. Soon after Sonic came onto the scene he showed his willingness to help anyone, even his enimies, and this gave Miles an idea:

Let's team up with the freedom fighters to betray Scourge, that's the new plan.

Miles later met up with Sally, Bunnie, Antonie and Tails to offer an alliance, but didn't let Tails speak and showed his contempt to the original version, telling him, "Please don't talk, little boy, We're trying to have an intelligent conversation." Sally accepted the offer, knowing she needed all the help she could get for taking down Scourge.

Upon returning to Scourge, pretending to be running from the freedom fighters, Scourge asked for a summary on his mission, that being "bomb New Metropolis" but Miles ignored him however, instead reporting to Alicia (Anti-Sally) that his mission was a success. Immediately thereafter, Alicia told the Suppression Squad to, "Show our King just what we think of him", with Boomer and Patch clearly readying for battle

However, Miles was doubling up his betrayal, blasting both Sonic and Scourge back into Moebius for them to Duke it out there, with Boomer sealing the portal behind them. An ethical debate followed this, between Sally, Alicia and Miles, the trio being ordered to get the goal posts ready to be able to return the freedom fighters to Mobius after both groups agreed to make sure Scourge was defeated on Moebius by Sonic

Miles was as shocked as the rest of the group to find Scourge had defeated all of his opponents as Super Scourge. When the rest of the Knothole Freedom Fighters and Suppression Squad were quickly defeated, Scourge turned his sights on Miles, identifying him as the mastermind behind the betrayal.

Miles, cowering in fear, denied his role in betraying Scourge, who was threatening to beat him for his betrayal. However, Miles was saved by Silver the Hedgehog and unlike the rest of his allies, wasn't even hurt. Following Scourge's defeat and Miles' attempt to recruit Buns Rabbot into the Suppression Squad, Miles spoke to Alicia about who would be their new leader. Alicia explained that while she may be the figurehead ruler, they both knew Miles held the real authority at this point, to which Miles grinned.

That was the last we see of Miles in the Archie comics, he unfortunately isn't in the post reboot because he's now owned by Ken Penders, so we'll never see him again. Below is all of his official designs, and after that is my final thoughts on the character.

---------------------------------------------

My overview of Miles as a character.

I'm no Character analysist so I'll make this short and sweet, my review of Miles is that he's a Character with alot of potential, but he went wasted, not on purpose, but thanks to the lawsuit.

I believe that if that lawsuit never happened, and that arc was closed up nicely Anti-Tails would of became a far more realistic and grounded Character, and probably pretty popular too. Miles to me is a kid who was manipulated into a life of crime and now believes that's what is right, and I think that could of been an arc for him, mellowing out and becoming a true king for the people of Moebius. I also like how when Scourge goes Super and goes to Miles to confront him, he dosent stand up to him, he dosent become strong, but instead he cowers in fear, hes terrified and tries to lie, to me, that makes him feel more grounded, and I like that.

Personally I wish Miles was more popular, I wish he got more spotlight than he did and I wish his story got concluded, but with what we got, I think he's pretty good, and pretty interesting too! I've seen alot of ideas float around for this dude, all of them making sense in they're on way, and to be honest? His lack of story kinda helps make him more accessible.

Tl:Dr: I like Miles alot, and I hope this post helps you lot learn more about him and overall, gets more people down to write with him, draw with him and explore him!

---------------------------------------------

Would I change him in any way?

Yeah, there's one key part of Miles (from what we got) that I think was wasted. Now, what is that? What would I change about a Character I've mostly praised? Well...

I wish he was magical. In the Archie comics Tails is actually strongly connected to the "Chaos Force", not as connected as Shadow, but still VERY connected, and guess what? Miles and Tails ARE biologically the same, same DNA, and in that bit of the comic, Miles calls Tails out on something he should have no idea about if he himself isn't connected to the same thing (or Moebius equivalent). To me at least this kind of implies Miles is magical too.

Basically, I'd give Miles' moveset a touch of magical abilities, connecting him to Moebius' "Anarchy force". I think it would help separate him abit more from Tails, while also connecting them, because whenever you have science and magic together...they clash.

But yea that's all I'd change in what we got, just hints of magic, some magic attacks here and there. I think it'd be pretty neat, and it'd have the science Vs magic aspect with him and Tails relationship.

---------------------------------------------

Lets finally wrap this up! At least, for now.

Thank you so much for reading all this If you did, it, this took me alot of hours, and I, I think it's over 2000 words now you madman. Why not spend your time doing something more worthwhile? Why not...have fun? meet someone? Go on a date? Live your life? Why read a post on an obscure Character, mainac.

But in all seriousness thank you for reading my post, I really like this character (clearly) and I want to teach people about him, and I hope this post has done that! Post 2. There's going to be a sequel post going over all of my personal headcanons, and possibly a 3rd going over community ones. Keep ya eyes out~

But yea, big read, now you lot know about an obscure Character, and this was fun to write! But now I'm gonna end this post with a fun fact:

Miles and the Suppression Squad were going to have one more arc, it was teased at the end of issue 196, but unfortunately it never got written. That would of been really neat but unfortunately it never got to happen.

---------------------------------------------

BON'VOYAGE, HEDGEHOGS!

[sadachmesarthim]

coercive notions - stucky

content: semi-graphic violence, blood, minor character deaths, emotional manipulation and abuse, false imprisonment, kidnapping, torture in the form of nonconsensual body modifications, stockholm syndrome.

dead dove: do not eat. steve sucks big time in this one. i’m not really sorry about it. 

note: happy 6k followers to @sweeterthanthis​ !!! i love the idea of these prompts, they definitely did their job !! i was thrilled when i saw i got my quote of choice. this one’s based on ”i wish i knew how to quit you” from brokeback mountain (my favorite angsty husbands) 

if the timeline is nonsensical in this - think 2 years post engame but no one's actually died! there is also some background starker but it's only mentioned twice. this is my first time writing for steve and bucky, and my first ~dark~ piece. it was definitely the challenge it presented itself as, and i’m super thankful for the opportunity to participate alongside so many talented witers!! 

word count: 4.2k ; read time 15 minutes

Steve'd survived because of Bucky. 

Bucky was the one that kept the fevers at bay, bought him medicine, nursed him back to health even when neither of them thought he'd survive through the night. Bucky was the one that dragged him out of the river, and left him alive on the bank.

Left him to wake up. 

Bucky was the one that welcomed him with open arms when Steve was abandoned by the Avengers. Steve'd lost his home, his family - everyone and everything he had - when the world rejected him (the millionth time). Bucky was the one that came back. He'd lost his arm, his identity, everyone and everything he remembered - but he still ran to Steve without hesitation. No matter how far away they got, no matter what separated them, they always came back to one another. 

They got together right after the fight with Tony in Siberia. 

They'd found each other, and suddenly gained a future. 

Steve had never... really pictured himself having a future. When he was younger, he accepted that he'd die young. A fever that wouldn't break, a cough that wouldn't leave, pneumonia he couldn't beat... Then he joined the army. He suddenly... had possibilities.

But there was still war, he was still fighting, and he was still in the line of danger every single day. It didn't matter if he was fighting Hitler, homophobia, Hydra, - someone was always gunning for him. Someone was always trying to get him killed. And it worked! He died! Crashed straight into the ocean and froze, for seventy fucking years!

Until someone had the audacity to defrost him, and yet again force him into the line of fire. Without really consulting him first. It was something Steve was slowly coming to terms with - he’d always be fighting, always be serving, always be protecting. 

He’d been failing his job as a protector, lately. 

+//////+

They all thought it was a bit weird, but then again, so is living with two men that look seventy years younger than they actually are. So is living with your coworkers. So is being a superhero. So of course none of the other Avengers said anything. 

Not when Bucky started asking Steve permission for things - to get up from, and leave, the table after meetings. If he could get seconds during breakfast or dinner. If he was allowed to come on patrols or missions. Everyone just assumed it was a forties thing, or that it was just Bucky getting more comfortable around them. The dirtier minds of the group (Tony, Peter, Natasha) chalked it up to a kinky sex thing. 

Steve saw it as devotion. 

Bucky saw it as a way to keep him appeased. 

See, Steve'd gotten more... irritable, lately. Every time Bucky got hurt on patrol, was in a bad position during a mission, needlessly volunteered to do something dangerous  - it pissed Steve off to high heavens, for no reason. It'd gotten significantly worse over the course of a few months, to the point where Bucky could barely breathe without Steve getting upset. 

It came to a head one day when Bucky got pinned during a fight with New York's latest nuisance. He wasn't even supposed to be there, it was his day off, for fucks sake. But he'd heard the call go out, and suited up before following a few minutes behind the rest of the crew. 

This particular species of big nasty™ (a xorrian dog? Thor had called it?) had an... upsetting taste for live, warm flesh. He popped up outta nowhere over Manhattan during the Friday morning rush, apparently scouting Earth for the next course in their Milky Way Dinner Service. 

Bucky, self sacrificing moron that he is, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just as Steve laid down the final blow, narrowly avoiding the alien's jaw, Bucky slid underneath it, shoving his hand between the soft plating of the monster's stomach. He reached in, single-handedly gutting the thing while Steve put a shield-sized dent in its skull.

Their foe dropped almost instantly, crushing Bucky beneath several tons of dead weight. None of them would have known he was there, either, if Tony hadn’t programmed life-sensing protocols in a new combat arm he’d gifted the soldier for his second anniversary home and Hydra-free. A signal went to Tony’s suit the instant FRIDAY sensed structural integrity issues, sending him a precise location.

“What do you mean he’s here, babygirl? We didn’t call him in.” The worry in Tony’s voice was apparent, calling the attention of the rest of his team. They were all intrigued, prematurely pulled from their celebrations of a fight well won. 

“It seems that Sergeant Barnes is approximately twenty paces northwest of your location, and his elevation is slowly decreasing. Would you like a map of the area?”  

“Uhh, no Fri. I think I know exactly where he is. Cap, get your ass over here!” His heart rate was increasing by the second. If he thought correctly (as Tony almost always did), Bucky was... underneath the alien. “We need to pick this fucker up, or flip it, or something. I think Bucky’s stuck under it.” 

Steve’s blood ran cold. “Tony, what the fuck are you talking about? Bucky wasn’t part of the group today.” 

Steve didn’t hide his anxiety well when it came to Bucky. Their team knew that he was Steve’s whole world. One more life threatening situation, and Steve might actually die from old age with all the years Bucky’d stressed out of him. FRIDAY sending a detailed ping with Bucky’s combat arm location didn’t do anything to ease his anxiety, either. He knew it was just like Bucky to do something like this - jump in without word, all act and no think. Try to help his team out and wind up crushed by an alien pet the size of a 787.

Peter was next to them, soon, ready to help get this thing off their friend. Together, they managed to drag Mister Beast-of-the-Week far enough down the street, revealing a very unconscious, very bloody Winter Soldier nestled in the asphalt. 

Steve was on him in a second, picking Bucky up with both hands. Tony already had FRIDAY doing preliminary scans and sending them back to Cho and Strange. Initial reads weren’t terrible, all things considered, but he still looked like shit. He might be five hundred times stronger than the average man, but no one’s prepared to be stuck under 200 tons of pure xeno-reptilian mass. Not even Bucky Barnes. 

His head rolled back freely as Steve picked him up, exposing an already bruised and swelling jaw. Steve’s breath caught in his throat, choking him on his own shock. Saved by the bell, Cho called Tony back immediately, sending for one of them to bring him to the tower surgical site immediately. 

“We have to go, Steve. Let us take him, we’ll get him fixed. We’ve done it before. We can do it again. But you have to let him go.” Steve’s upward glance brought him Tony’s exasperated face. He was dizzy, everything felt like slow motion. 

He didn’t register the movement until he saw it, watching Peter’s hands as they held him back. Tony took Bucky’s lifeless form, carrying him toward Stark Tower and away from the wreckage. 

The wreckage he shouldn’t have been anywhere near in the first place. 

The wreckage he wouldn’t even have known about if he didn’t beg Tony to be included in all mission alerts. 

The wreckage he would have avoided if it weren’t for the martyr complex he’d had since birth. It might not be nearly as strong as Steve’s, but it was still there. Bucky’d always gone to obscene lengths protecting the people he loved. 

Steve had a track record of doing a piss poor job of repaying the favor. He couldn’t save him from the war. He couldn’t save him from the train, or from Hydra. He couldn’t save him from Thanos. He couldn’t even save him from a stupid little skirmish downtown. No, from where he was standing, Steve’d fucked up. Big time. 

He promised that day, he wasn’t going to let anything like this happen again. 

+//////+

It was weeks before he was back to normal, and even then - Bucky wasn't entirely sure he wanted to leave. Not because he was still sore, or not feeling up to par. In fact, he'd been antsier and more ready to get back into the field than ever. He missed his friends, he missed the people he fought evil with every day. He missed sparring with Sam and going on runs with Peter, listening as Thor regaled stories about Old Asgard no one.. could quite follow. Missed the twice weekly calls from Shuri. But most of all, he missed his freedom. 

Steve wasn't ready to give it to him. 

When he woke up after surgery, Steve was right next to his recovery bed. He almost looked like he did back in the day - sleep deprived, worry lines forcing their way to the surface of his face. Vague frustration enveloped him, even when he met Bucky's conscious form for the first time. 

Their first few conversations were tender, loving, but it didn't take long for them to sour. 

Steve'd insisted on bringing Bucky back to their shared floor immediately after he woke. He allowed Cho to look him over, FRIDAY to scan him, everyone to come say hi - but he never let Bucky out of his sight. Not while Bucky was awake, anyway. 

He slept a lot in those first few days. He was still healing, and while it might have been much faster than anyone expected, he was also recovering from what should have been several deaths over. He spent most of his time in bed, asleep, or talking to Steve. 

Most of it was lecture, some was praise. How stupid he was to get involved on his day off. How much Steve loved him. How he wasn't allowed to go being a martyr like that again. How much Steve loved him. How Steve was going to do a better job of watching over him from now on. How much Steve loved him. 

There was a lot of that, after Bucky woke up. How much Steve loved him. How important Bucky was to him, how much it meant to him that Bucky was alive and breathing and conscious and okay. Every time he got a lecture, or a reminder, Steve's hand was on him somewhere. His shoulder, his wrist, his face. His throat. Every time he spoke, he squeezed, just the tiniest bit. Not threatening, not even to force acknowledgement. Just.. Because he could. To the untrained eye, it was just physical contact. 

Bucky knew better. 

Bucky knew conditioning when he saw it. When he felt it. 

Bucky also knew he was significantly more susceptible to conditioning than most people. 

Bucky was fucked. 

+//////+

Tony didn't think anything of it when Steve asked for handcuffs that could hold a supersoldier back. He, too, was a pervert with a genetically enhanced super-boyfriend, who was he to deny the Captain a little fun? He'd designed restraints Peter could use without breaking (or hurting himself!), why not share the love?

No one thought anything of it when Bucky stopped joining them on missions. Trauma has a different effect on everyone, maybe Bucky just needed time to process almost dying (again). No one would blame him for it. Hell, most of them encouraged his staying home. 

None of them... really thought anything of it when he quit leaving altogether. They trusted Steve's judgement, and if he didn't think Bucky was ready to leave, then he wasn't. Bucky knew better than to defy him, too - just kept his mouth shut around "yes, Steve"s and "okay, Steve"s.

The conditioning didn't stop as he got stronger. He'd been back to 100% weeks ago, but Steve was still babying him. Carrying him to the shower, not letting Bucky bathe himself, or brush his own teeth. He couldn't dress or eat without help, go anywhere without asking. "I just want to keep you safe. I need to know that you're not going to get hurt." Steve's words remained calm, level, but his face betrayed the threat behind them. If you don't listen, you won't be able to leave at all. 

Bucky'd learned the hard way that if he didn't listen to Steve, he wouldn't have a choice. He'd attempted to leave their floor by himself while Steve was out on a mission with Tony, Nat, and Thor - he got up early, showered, got dressed. His first taste of freedom in a long time, he was so excited to go see everyone again. 

He was downstairs and halfway through breakfast with Bruce and Peter when Steve got back. 

+//////+

Bucky couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the sun. It's a familiar feeling to him, one he thought he'd never deal with again. The isolation. The lack of control. The fear. 

Steve initially hadn't looked mad. He let Bucky finish his meal, kept a distant but watchful eye over the group until the two others finished and moved on to their lab work downstairs. 

Bucky knew he was fucked. He'd broken rules. He'd left their room without permission. Steve might not have looked it, but Bucky could feel the anger and disappointment radiating off him. 

After that... He wasn't allowed to do anything. 

No workouts, no missions, no patrols. No leaving their room. Steve'd used the restraints Tony made - had him thoroughly tied down to the floor below their bed. No internet, no phone. Not a single book or movie or boardgame in sight. Good boys don't require entertainment to behave. No eating - Steve'd placed a gastric tube down his sinus to provide nutrition. His muzzle, the one hydra'd used... Steve'd locked it over his jaw, and left it there. Good boys don't need to use their mouths - not to drink, not to eat. Not to talk back or call for help.  No using the bathroom on his own - he had a catheter replaced once a day, and Steve changed his bag as needed. Good boys don't get to leave the bed, not even if it's an emergency. 

He learned to wait for Steve. Learned his schedule - early morning meetings with Wakanda, check ins with Fury and Maria, patrol a bit after lunch. Then, he'd come back, make sure Bucky's bag was empty and his feeding tube was flushed and clean before feeding him. 

Steve allowed him to use the bathroom and shower at night, under incredibly watchful eyes. The restraints Tony'd made were long enough to stretch the entire perimeter of their room, but Steve kept him on a short leash. Bucky had five minutes total - shit, shower, shave. If he didn't finish in time... There's always tomorrow. 

If he did, he'd get rewarded. 

Steve'd wrap him up in a large fluffy towel, carry him to bed. He'd bring back the sweet little reminders, with his hand around Bucky's throat. How much Steve loved him. How this was all for his protection. How Steve wasn't going to let anything happen to him, ever again. How proud Steve was of him, for letting him return that favor, even decades later. How well behaved Bucky was, how good he'd been for Steve.

Steve was so different from Hydra, too. That's what made it so fucking difficult to resist the love bomb-type conditioning. He wasn't the torture type - didn't like the idea of doing anything he didn't have to. Steve didn't want to hurt him, and Bucky knew that. He found it harder to reject Steve's advances the longer he was locked in that fucking room, found it harder to discern whether or not he... wanted... to reject it.  

He was Bucky's dialysis, and his drinking problem. 

He was Bucky's oxygen machine, and the cigarettes he'd smoked to earn him one. 

Steve could ask Bucky to do anything, ask him for anything... and he was powerless to say no. He'd tried. 

+//////+

It'd gotten him a flick to the mouth, for his hesitation. 

"When I ask you a question, love, you need to answer me. Do you understand?" The tears in his eyes nearly spilled over, sharp pain from his lips radiating into his nose and the corners of his eyes. He didn't want to answer. He wanted to leave. He wanted to run, to get the fuck away from Steve and the compound and everything. 

"Yes."

"Yes what, angel?" Steve might've been good about keeping his emotions checked in public, but Bucky could tell he was smug. Gloating. He enjoyed this. What'd happened to the sweet kid from Brooklyn that could barely hold himself upright? Bucky missed him. 

"Yes, Stevie. I’m sorry Stevie." Saying his name was painful. This wasn't his Steve. This wasn't the Steve he'd fallen in love with. Wasn't even the man that'd dragged him out from underneath that alien... How long ago? Months? Years? 

Bucky didn't know anymore. 

Didn't know why his friends hadn't saved him yet. Didn't know how his absence went unnoticed for... however long it'd been. Didn't know why he was struggling to be upset about it all. 

Steve, observant as he was, could practically see the gears turning in the other's head. He cradled Bucky's face in his hands, drawing him into calculated eye contact. Bucky felt sick. There was something... wrong, there. Something Bucky'd never seen before. 

"They don't love you like I do, Buck. They don't want you. They don't love you." 

Bucky flinched at the words, physically recoiling from Steve's grasp. He knew it wasn't true, he knew... He thought it wasn't, right? 

Steve's laugh pulled Bucky out of his own thoughts, bringing him back to the room in front of him. He had a display up, with various recordings of the rest of the Avengers. He flipped through them, muting and unmuting seemingly at random. 

"... I mean, he's probably ditched us for Zemo again. Would that really shock you?"

"he almost died again. I don't blame him, i wouldn't want to be found eith-"

"-e can take care of himself, let's just give him time."

Steve waved the holo display away when he saw the first few tears fall. "Don't you see, Baby? They don't care like I do - they don't love you like I love you. No one will ever love you like I love you." Steve's words stung, but Bucky couldn't deny that they made sense. Of course no one was looking for him. He was unpredictable, still kind of an outsider. Why would they try to come find him? Why would they care?

Bucky's mouth moved before his brain could stop him.

"'m sorry, Stevie, please, I'm so sorry! I-I- I thought they cared, please, please don't leave me Stevie! I was so wrong, Steve please! Wish I knew how to stop, Stevie, but you know I can't. You gotta help me stop Stevie, I've been so confused, been tryin' to quit you Stevie but I can't. Wish I could quit you but I can't, I can’t be left alone anymore. Please, you can take my arm if you want it, Stevie. Take anything, take whatever you want from just please, please don’t leave me alone anymore!"

He was in hysterics at this point, unable to believe what was coming out of him. Was he really okay with Steve taking his arm away? Did he really love this Steve back? Was he just scared?

The worst part was that he couldn't tell. 

+//////+

The smell of fresh coffee woke him before he was ready. His eyes burned, still dry after Steve refused to close the window before they went to bed. 

Bucky would have closed it himself, but he couldn't actually reach that far. 

They'd moved out to the cabin a few months after Bucky finally broke realized how wrong he was. It was a cute little place, big enough for the two of them but small enough to not draw attention if someone came upon it by accident. Not that they really could. Steve'd installed motion sensors five miles out, and had fully automated... solutions, in place, should any threats or issues arise. 

They went entirely unused. 

It really was a beautiful plot of land - they had a few animals, a cute pair of kittens to dote on and play with. He had enough room to move around, to sit in the sun or curl up in bed. He had plenty of books, games, anything and everything he could want to occupy his time, really. He had Steve. 

And breakfast now, apparently. 

Steve set the plate on the bedside table, gently sitting next to his lover and planting small kisses on his still shut eyelids. Bucky looked up and smiled, blushing at the hand that'd wrapped around his neck. He reached out, gently thumbing at the inside of Steve's wrist. Oh, how he'd missed this. Missed contact with his Steve. 

He opened his mouth, accepting the bite Steve offered him. Steve always made the best pancakes, he thought, appreciating the hot meal hitting his tongue. He hadn't eaten this good in weeks. It was hard for him to cook without his arm, but Steve always provided. Steve cooked for them, cleaned up after them, made sure Bucky was sated. Safe. 

He'd taken off for a mission nearly a month ago. A dangerous one, he'd said. One he might not return from for a while, he'd said. Bucky worried. He always did when Steve left, especially since he couldn't know where or why he was going. But Steve always came back to him. Sometimes, he was back in one piece. Once, he'd come home with an arrow in his stomach and several gunshot wounds. That'd been a... scary night. Another time, he came home with half of his hair singed off and his clothes in tatters. 

Last night... Last night he finally came home, and he looked like shit. 

He was covered in bruises, nearly 40 pounds lighter than he was when he'd left. There were holes in the shield, too large to be bullets but too small to be anything else easily recognizable. Some were through his suit, too - puncture wounds littering his chest and stomach. They were already partially closed, but he was still bloody. 

There were still webs in his hair, too - Bucky brushed them away after Steve closed (and locked. always locked.) the door. He knew better than to comment. Steve was just protecting him. Steve loved him, he was doing what he needed to keep Bucky safe. 

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. That each time Steve left for a mission, Bucky cried himself to sleep. He thought, eventually, that the pain would go away. That the death of each of his friends would get easier, somehow. That the fear, the hope, of losing Steve would stop consuming him. 

He'd just smiled, kissed his husband's cheek, and helped him strip down. He'd mouthed at the graze left on the side of Steve's neck, reverent in the presence that was his protector. Bucky'd developed quite the complex, in their time of isolation. Every time Steve came in - from cutting firewood, picking food from the garden, feeding the animals, or from nights like last... Bucky just couldn't stop talking. 

About how he wouldn't be alive without Steve. How he'd still be a mindless slave for Hydra, killing innocent people under everyone's noses. How he owed Steve his life, a thousand times over. How he'd've been taken by Ross or Stark or Clint or someone, and locked away miles under the sea. He'd pressed them into Steve's jaw like kiss-coated secrets, like no one in the entire world knew these things but Bucky & Steve. Like they were bits of information to cherish, to chew on and savour before swallowing. 

Steve just laughed, picking Bucky up and bringing him to bed. He followed shortly after, cleaning and patching himself up before snuggling right up to Bucky. 

Sleeping was interesting, initially, but they'd adapted. It was easier to cuddle Bucky without his arm, but sometimes Steve woke up with his legs tangled in loose chains by the footboard. It was an easy enough trade, in Bucky's opinion. Give up his arm, give up a bit of freedom, and get a loving, devoted husband in return? One that would make him breakfast in bed, one that would hold him and kiss him and praise him whenever he needed? One that would kill for him? Die for him?

Bucky saw it as a fair enough trade, and if that meant their friends needed to die... He tried not to think about it.

[kh-imaginings]

sorry, if it's not to late can the marriage ask for xigbar be with luxu!xigbar in mind, unless you don't think it'd change anything? thanks!

I’mma be real with you chief I don’t think it’ll make much difference (I don’t know much about KHUX, and we’ve only briefly seen Xiggy responding and admitting outright to being Luxu, so we’re just going to go with what we’ve got.)Anyway!

A-About, what about you made them want to marry you?

You can handle yourself against anyone, including his sense of humor. he respects that about you. He’s a very sarcastic dude, he’s not a very respectful person (we’re all pretty much on the same level in his eyes), so to have met this person that he would submit to/stand down for in ways is a big deal to him. He wants to keep you around.

B-Baby, would they want kids with you as soon as possible?

Not really, sorry hun! Maybe at one time he did, but not so much as he’s gotten older. Should a pregnancy come up and you want to raise a baby, then he will be totally supportive. You need him there at the doctor’s visits? Alright, but he’s bringing a book or something. You wanna go shopping? Sure. He’s just not tripping over himself to plan it out. He just goes with the flow.

C-Celebration, how would they celebrate your anniversaries?

Whatever you want to do, he’ll make it happen. Otherwise he’ll get you a flower or 12 and it’s takeout and makeout! ;)

D-Divorce, how would they handle if you wanted a divorce? What caused it?

Yeah well, he ain’t happy. He’s almost not surprised given who and how he is. He wouldn’t admit to be heartbroken, and you’ll never see him cry (I can’t even confirm or deny if he cries at all during this time), but you’ll see him mad. He resents this, but he won’t stop you. You stop communicating for a while after it’s finalized and everything has been separated. Maybe you’ll see each other in public somewhere a few of years down the line, and it’s like you’ve become a stranger to him. Just another face in the crowd, something to playfully tease, but no longer close. You just wanted different things, maybe you wanted a family, settle down and have that dream of settling down come true, but that’s not his style. Maybe he was being a jerk for a little too long, and his good traits aren’t enough to make up for his bad ones anymore. Either way you can’t take being around him any longer.

E-Earnest, are they serious about your marriage? Or can they be a little immature about it?

He’s immature, for sure! He’s serious a couple of times a year (usually birthdays and anniversaries and small get-togethers with friends). He’s a jokey guy, making light of situations is how he responds to the world. He wants you to enjoy his humor as well.

F- Favorite, what was your favorite things before and after you got married to each other?

Before: Either listening to you talk about something you’re passionate about, seeing how your eyes light up when he suggests going back to his place and spending time together. It reminds him that you really enjoy his company and don’t think he’s annoying or obnoxious.

After: When you fall asleep on his shoulder watching tv or in bed when he’s reading. It happens almost every night, and he really cherishes these moments. He’s not making a joke, and you can’t see him making googoo eyes at him. He thinks you’re amazing.

G-Giving, do they spoil you?

Every now and again, maybe once a month, Xigbar will go all out for you. Take you shopping, then out to eat, maybe dancing, a walk in the moonlight? He likes it when you’re happy, and the face you make when you’re surprised and feel special, especially when it’s because of him? It’s his favorite thing in the world. 

H-Honeymoon, what did you two do for your honeymoon?

Something kind of adventurous, maybe bungie jumping or zip-lining? Something that would thrill you, he likes the faces you make. Some sight-seeing, people watching (that for him, he likes to eavesdrop and silently judge others). And whatever you wanted to do too! 

I-Invest, how much do they contribute to your marriage?

Xigbar is surprisingly ((to me, I don’t know about you guys, maybe you knew all along)) domestic. Like cooking and cleaning, is easy for him to fulfill. If it’ll make you feel at ease and less stressed he’ll pull his own weight around the house. 50/50 (and a little more if it’s your birthday or anniversary).

J-Jealous, do they still get jealous even though you’re completely theirs?

Nah, sorry Xig’s not the jealous type. If you say you love him, then you love him. Once you got his trust, you don’t have to worry (unless you have actually done something to break his trust).

K-Kiss, how often would you two kiss? Do you still have that spark?

As often as you want, and the once before leaving the house in the morning, and once before going to sleep at night. 

L-Live, where would you two settle down at?

Xigs would like to live somewhere near a city, the hustle and bustle is a nice place to visit. He’d be fine if he were just outside a city, where you can get some peace and quiet, but you’re never too far from the action and drama that a city can bring. Would prefer to stay away from anywhere with a Homeowners Association (like a suburb with people named Barb or Karen). Also far away from a school! Little kids mean trouble, and trouble that Xig didn’t start? is a no=no.

M-Make, do they still make your heart flutter after years of marriage?

If you’re asking if looking at you makes Xigbar’s (nonexistent?) heart feel warm and comfy? Heck yeah, it does. You’re home for him, a constant, a comfort. He cherishes the fact that you’re still together after all these years, that you bother putting up with him after all this time. He may be a jokester, and he may not say it out loud enough, but he really does feel lucky that you’re here.

N-Never, what is something they would never do?

He’d never be violent towards you or around you. I know this seems like bottom of the ladder, super basic. But when he pledges his heart to you, he means to protect you. That includes from any anger he may feel in a moment regardless of who is the cause. He doesn’t want to scare you (not unless it’s a harmless prank or halloween) and he never wants you to feel unsafe around him. So punching walls or anything? That’s something you’ll never be around to see, if and when it happens.

O-Opportunity, do you two still get the opportunity to be intimate with one another?

Heck yes! It’s an important part of your relationship. Even if it’s not the *bow chicka bow wow* level of intimacy, being physical with hugs and being able to be vulnerable with one another is important. 

He doesn’t seem like the type to be vulnerable with others, does he? But it’s only because he’s not quick to trust others or show his true emotions. With you, he’s willing if you are. At least once a week y’all will be together and talk and vent or anything that you need to do. 

P-Pet names, what pet names do you two give each other?

He calls you sun/starshine, sweetpea, sweetheart, baby, babycakes, darlin’. Sometimes just to tease and sometimes because he just thinks it’s cute.

You are free to call him whatever you want, he’ll answer to them all. Not a ounce of embarrassment from him, wears these names like a badge of honor ;)

Q-Quiet, do you two keep quiet about your marriage? Or do you always brag about one another?

Xiggy’s actually pretty quiet. He’s not over the top about being married to total strangers. But to friends and you especially, he’ll let y’all know that you’re his better half. He counts himself lucky to have married you, and he’ll rub it in that he was the one that you chose to spend your life with. 

He’ll usually ask his friends if they’re jealous that you two are so happy.

R-Romance, how do you two keep your romance alive?

Date night is a regular occurrence (it’s a good way to keep romance alive! did you know that dating (this goes along with communication!) is a great way to have a successful relationship? Because y’all continually get to know each other it keeps things fresh, the same way dating new people does)

S-Selfie, would they take multiple pictures of you? Would they save them on their phone?

Only if you’re snoring or doing something embarrassing. It’s your job to take the nice selfies and send it to him. His favorites are still the silly pictures you find embarrassing. He thinks they’re endearing.

T-Teenagers, do you still act like teens when you’re older?

Xig? Yes, Absolutely. His sassy attitude doesn’t fade with time. And one of his favorite things is to tease every now and again, a little pinch on the bum, or a joke about the neighbors will always be a regular occurrence. 

U-Unrelenting, what hasn’t stopped since you two got married?

Playful teasing of course! He’s kind of a jokey guy, that’ll never go away. It’s part of what made you fall for him (or so he says) and it’s here to stay. 

Also casual dates every now and again. He probably won’t bring you flowers that he didn’t pick out of the neighbor’s yard or a park but he will take you out on the town, maybe have an ice cream or get a snack. 

V-Valentine’s Day, what plans do you two make?

A mess! Chocolate fondue seems like a good idea, until you realize you didn’t follow the recipe right, or burnt the chocolate. Shoulda just got the fondue pot, sheesh! but it was fun nonetheless! He got some chocolate on his nose (you probably put it there on purpose) and kissed it off, he smeared some chocolate on your face (DEFINITELY on purpose) and licked it off. And then that led into [redacted because this isn’t THAT kind of blog]

W-Wedding, what was your wedding like?

This is up to you! All he asks is that he’s allowed some alcohol. You want a small affair? Maybe just going to sign the marriage certificate in town hall, he’s down. He’d like to go to a bar after and celebrate and drink for a bit with his “spouse”.

Or if you want a big fancy wedding, that’s fine too. If that’s the case, he’d still like some booze available (open bar maybe?) for him to get buzzed on. Not totally drunk, no no no, never! Don’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends and family (Xig? Embarrassing? NEVER! ;) But it’s a joyful occasion he’d like something to toast with. Maybe invite Xehanort, at least to show off a bit. He can play into his schemes while ALSO enjoying being alive.

X-X-Ray, can you two see through each other? Can you see when you’re lying or not?

You know this really depends on the person. If you’re good at reading people, you might be able to piece together what’s going on in his mind, otherwise he’s as much a mystery to you as he is to anyone else. The only difference is if you ask him, he’ll tell you what he’s thinking or let you know it’s nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. 

He likes to think he can read you, but once again, if you’re someone who’s very secretive maybe he can’t fully tell. But he won’t rub it in your face, either. He might say that it seems there’s something bothering you, or something you’re hiding from him, but he won’t force it out of you. He wants you to feel comfortable to come to him when you need/want it. 

Trust is an important aspect in your relationship and he’ll trust you to come to him when you need it, just like how he’ll trust you to leave him be until he’s ready to share too.

Y-Yearly Tradition, what do you two do every year for your wedding anniversary?

You wanna go out? He’ll take you out. But for him he just wants to spend some time being physically intimate ;) It’s up to you what you wanna do, he’ll give in to your requests, but he’s a simple man. He loves you and he wants to spend that time with you.

Z-Zesty, Give me your own zesty letters!

Enjoys spicy food!

[fadedtoblue]

I'd normally just message you about this, but I think it'd make some good meta. What do you think when folks say "Matt belongs with Karen and Daredevil with Elektra" ?

Sorry it took me so long to finish this, as you know with me…I ALWAYS HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS. I appreciate the question though and I enjoy the chance to think about this concept more deeply…I certainly made a lot of effort to make sure my reasoning felt logical? Disclaimer: this is going to focus more on DDS2 Elektra than post-TD Elektra because there’s a lot that isn’t entirely clear about where her characterization is meant to go from that storyline. I don’t want to muddy the waters up too much so I’m just drawing the line here now. I might write something separate regarding the end of The Defenders b/c I’m seeing some conversation popping up here and there around the motivations behind that ending but, yeah, not super relevant here. I also apologize in advance b/c I think I’m going to go off on a couple of meta tangents regarding both Karen and Elektra before I get back to addressing the crux of the concept so…bear with me!

Let’s start out by quoting some words from Mr. Cox himself, who was fairly consistent in falling back on some variation of this hypothesis in almost all the interviews I’ve read / watched with him during press for DDS2 – this quote isn’t quite exact to the question, but it’s close…I’m also sure there are better ones, but this was just the first one I had accessible:

With Karen, he’s Matt Murdock. He’s the kind of man he’s always wanted to be. She brings out of him a kindness and a generosity and a belief in law and order, and right and wrong. She taps into something that is the kind of person he’s always seen himself – the kind of person his father wanted him to be. But Karen doesn’t know about Daredevil, and that’s undeniably a huge part of his life.

With Elektra, it’s the opposite. She knows all about Daredevil. She accepts that, and encourages him in a way that no one else does. But she also sees a dark side, or she tries to draw out of him a disregard for law and order, a disregard for people and property, and those things which isn’t who he is.

On a super simplistic, superficial level, yeah – it makes sense. Karen and Elektra were already involved, in very different ways, with the two sides of Matt’s hyper-compartmentalized lifestyle. As a result, I understand why there’s this intrinsic pull to connect Karen with Matt’s ‘day’ life and Elektra with Matt’s ‘night’ life, and then draw the line from that to, “Matt loves Karen, Daredevil loves Elektra” and vice versa. I disagree, however, with the basic premise of Charlie’s statement / this kind of statement in general, mainly because while Karen and Elektra both make very useful props to further illustrate the trials and tribulations of one very confused and conflicted Matt Murdock, you can easily remove both of them from the equation and come to exactly the same answer: which is that Matt Murdock was already a kind, generous man, with a belief in law and order and right and wrong, coupled with an absolutely hypocritical flagrant disregard for law, order, people and property every time he runs out and pulls on that mask. If you look up the word denial in the dictionary, it might as well have Matt Murdock’s pretty face filling up the page. My point is…Karen didn’t make Matt better and Elektra didn’t make Matt worse. Matt was already the man he had chosen to be, and for some reason it seems easier to credit / blame either one of these women for his inherent character traits when in fact, this was the person he already was before either of them came into the picture.

Now, I think a better way to phrase this concept is that Karen is attracted to what Matt Murdock represents, and likewise, Elektra is attracted to Daredevil represents, and that is why Matt belongs with Karen / Daredevil belongs with Elektra. And to this I say….mmmm maybe, maybe not. Based on what we’ve been given so far on the show, one could argue that neither Karen or Elektra have yet had the opportunity to fully experience both sides of Matt Murdock and maybe neither of them ever will. But I think there is enough here to try to figure out whether the Karen –> Matt / Elektra –> DD line of thinking holds water, and whether either of them have a better shot of being the right fit for both sides.

Let’s tackle Karen first.

On paper, there’s a lot that should work between Karen and Matt. It’s sweet and innocent in a way that so many things aren’t in Daredevil’s world. They share a lot of similar qualities – real go-getters for truth and justice and light, stubborn and quite headstrong, but still caring and empathetic individuals. I can see why they get categorized as the nice / healthy / safe option. But the primary problem with all of that lies in the fact that the foundation of their apparent relationship might as well be built on sand – almost everything they think they know and love about the other are at best half-truths, at worse, straight up lies: Matt, a blind, super stand-up handsome attorney with a genuine heart for justice, lives quite the secret double life as Daredevil, crime fighting vigilante with a not-talked-about-enough rage problem, and Karen, sweet, strong, spunky secretary with a heart of gold, has a secret murder on her conscience and an as-yet-to-be-determined dark and tragic backstory that may completely turn our opinions of her on its head. My issue with this is less that they keep secrets – who doesn’t keep secrets in this universe? – but that the image they’ve built up of each other and have become attracted to are very incomplete versions of themselves, and thus renders their relationship sadly superficial in a way they weren’t even aware. Which means the ironic thing about them being the conventional, safe romantic option is that nothing about them is actually that conventional or healthy or safe at all. Their relationship can be summed up by them lying to each other and to themselves about almost…everything, which isn’t a judgement of either character, it’s simply facts.

Now to be fair, from a storytelling perspective, this doesn’t mean there isn’t some hope of salvaging a meaningful relationship even with the deceit (one could argue this is exactly what they managed to do with Matt and Elektra). It certainly wouldn’t be the first time a television show deploys that old trope: two people who thought they knew each other realize they didn’t actually know anything about each other, harshly re-examine everything they’ve built up about each other so they can knock it all down and start from the beginning, etc. But I think the show has laid some interesting track with Karen’s character development, and I question whether pursuing a romantic relationship with Matt would honor that development in a positive way. My interpretation is that Karen, despite her propensity to get herself into very questionable situations, doesn’t actually want the danger. Yes, she finds herself more often than not running toward it, and she has an incredible amount of empathy for those who do not operate fully in the light, but that doesn’t mean she enjoys being in these dark and dangerous situations. She doesn’t want to see people she cares about get hurt. She doesn’t want to see herself get hurt. I do think she accepts that danger is oftentimes an unavoidable part of the process toward uncovering the truth (something that she learned from Ben and I think a huge reason why she worked as hard as she did to get as far as she did with Frank) – that danger in service of that truth can be tolerable, sometimes even bearable to live with. I’m not sure the way Matt goes about it, however, is compatible with her newfound tendency toward self-preservation.

As poorly as the post-DDS2 revelations were handled in The Defenders, I can still appreciate the little character nuggets they did throw out at us to better flesh out Karen’s headspace and motivations. I know the way it played out frustrated a lot of people – it frustrated me too. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that her stance on Matt as DD was not really that far outside the realm of believability. She’s not an idiot or a wet blanket or whatever negative descriptor you want to throw in here. She’s someone who has gone through a shit ton of trauma and wants to feel like she has some control over her life. She wants to be doing something that gives her purpose and fuels her passion (which she has found, through investigative journalism). And here’s the kicker: she wants to survive long enough to do these things. I know, I know, she still gets herself into some pretty crazy situations but I think to her, these situations are worth it if they can fix the things about her that are broken? If they can right the wrongs that lurk in her past, and if they can give her life a sense of meaning and purpose. I just really and truly don’t know what a relationship with Matt would offer her except all of the danger without any of the personal payoff. To constantly wonder about his health and safety and what her proximity to him does for her own chances of survival. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that their relationship only gains positive momentum when there’s nothing else is happening to fuck shit up. But the second any sort of outside stressor gets thrown into the situation, it might as well be like throwing a grenade into their personal growth. And the big reason for the constant imploding of progress always boils down to Matt and his secret identity. Which is such a salient reminder to me that when Karen fell for Matt, she didn’t know about Daredevil and thus was never afforded the choice in whether she wanted to be involved in Daredevil’s shenanigans. Honestly, it’s also not like she knew him long enough or well enough to have him consider her in that part of his life anyway. But this only highlights to me just how damaging these lies and omissions have been and how confusing they are to untangle after the fact, especially in light of all she’s been through personally. This is why I don’t really blame Karen for being wary and self-protective post-identity reveal and why I have to wonder about what positives this could hold for her as a character other than to check off the canon love interest box for Matt Murdock*. 

* A point that is interesting to me when compared to someone like Claire, who while not a comics canon relationship, was still meant to fill in that love interest role in DDS1. People have complained about her not getting her fair share of exploration as Matt’s love interest (a complaint I certainly shared back in S1) but regardless, once Claire had the information she needed to evaluate Matt and what this potentially could mean for the two of them, I think she made the very healthy choice to nope the hell out of there.

Karen may be “better” for Matt…but is Matt “better” for Karen?

And what about Elektra?

At first blush, Elektra represents every violent, id-driven impulse Matt Murdock tries to hide from the world and only chooses to unleash when he dons the Daredevil costume. Her introduction to Matt’s world is of a woman who exists as unfettered passion, of caution thrown to the wind, no thinking – just doing. It’s not surprising that this sort of encouragement leads to stolen cars, breaking and entering, damage of property, and almost-murder. Fast forward ten years later, and it seems that not much has initially changed, that present day Elektra still embodies so much of the young woman who first gave him the taste of pleasure through pain, and conveniently presents as an avatar for Matt’s darkest desires, the one who validates Daredevil’s actions and very existence. The fact that she comes to Matt looking specifically for Daredevil’s help, and ropes him into a crime-centered mission whilst unintentionally undermining the work that he does as Matt Murdock, lawyer, makes it easier to put Elektra in the “wants DD, not Matt Murdock” column. Some would probably take it farther and argue that nothing about Elektra is worth redeeming and that her influence should be kept away from Matt at all costs.

As with almost everything about Elektra, it’s not that simple of course!

I think the first step is looking past the bullshit storyline Elektra got saddled with regarding the Hand and the more superficial backlash toward her character because she had the balls to not only represent but encourage the other equally valid part of Matt’s life as Daredevil (and this can’t be said enough, but Elektra deserves ZERO culpability for Matt’s inability to balance and prioritize his own shit). When you do you’ll find there are quite a few fascinating insights into her character that develop over the course of DDS2, which may not serve to make her relationship with Matt any more “normal” or “healthy” (both terms that are laughable when used in relation to Matt Murdock anyway), but do provide a really crucial prism through which to examine what they could be together.

In my opinion, the thinking that Elektra is good for DD and not Matt is short sighted. Yes, she is an incredibly skilled fighter and appears to have a higher level of respect for Matt’s activities as Daredevil than she does for Matt’s work in law. But is this actually true? We know that Elektra likes to conveniently play up the femme fatale role, throwing in a bit of the enabler / bad influence for good measure. We also know she views the world with much more disdain than Matthew, and has a less stringent moral compass than…well, almost everyone. But as this wonderful post by @xtltokio highlights, at the heart of it (and I’m focusing on DDS2 here) Elektra is actually one of the good guys. And I quote:

Elektra was fighting a war, a bloody, messy and complicated war. But most of all she was fighting for the right side. In addition to being raise to be a Assassin, a weapon, she was also a soldier in a war she believed in. She hated and was terrified of turning a weapon to The Hand.

As a valued soldier in the Chaste army, Elektra is literally all about taking out the bad guys (yes, by killing them), rooting out evil and dispensing justice against the Hand. She’s just quite a bit more pragmatic about it than Matt. And it’s funny – we all know and acknowledge that Stick is an obnoxious asshole but  no one ever questions whether he’s on the right side of the war while he’s cutting down ninjas left and right, do they? But I digress. Now, the flashback sequence in TD 1x07 in particular does a lot to put some of Elektra’s actions from 10 years ago into further context, especially this quote from Stick: “[Not killing] doesn’t make him good, Ellie…it just makes him weak.” What is it that makes Elektra’s moral code so much worse than Matt’s? That she has no hesitation in dispatching people she perceives to be her enemies so that she can keep the people on her side of the war safe? Is her sin that she sometimes enjoys the thrill of the kill (honestly, I still find this assessment to be a little questionable). And what does that say about Matt, who has a strict moral code about not killing, but most certainly derives a certain level of pleasure and willingness to embrace a lack of self-restraint when it comes to violently injuring his opponents?

When it comes down to it, Matt and Elektra are two people cut from the same cloth, coming of age in the wake of trauma and violence, trained by Stick to harness their anger into something deeper and darker and we know one of the only reasons Matt didn’t descend down to the same darkness was because his training was cut short. So we have to realize this is some absolutely crucial context to judge her character by. When we do, we know that for as much as Elektra exhibited unhealthy, and yes, sometimes toxic behaviors in her early relationship with Matt (though it was also in service of a mission and not necessarily indicative of what she would have done on her own), we also know that Matt changed a core part of her being, or if you don’t think it went that far, can at least admit he planted a seed of change within her. And the fact that this inherent goodness within her has been brought up so many times in show canon that I honestly don’t believe it’s incidental. I really believe that even in the wake of The Defenders, making sense of that potential goodness will be a core part of Elektra’s story should she reappear again in the future. And it is within this potential for light that I find possibilities for a successful Daredevil and Elektra pairing, and even more so in one for Matt and Elektra.

It’s funny to me when people say Elektra loves Daredevil and not Matt Murdock because she fell in love with Matt Murdock before Daredevil ever existed. She was the first one to know and embrace the duality in him. She also knows that Daredevil isn’t a separate part of Matt – Daredevil is Matt. Admittedly, it took him longer to understand the duality within Elektra, but for all of his self-righteousness, he never lost his belief in her. Even with the lies, they have never been anything other than themselves with each other. The way they viewed the world, their personalities, their abilities, everything was out there for each other to see and explore. The biggest thing Elektra hid from Matt was her work with the Chaste and relationship with Stick yet even that is the kind of lie that ultimately Matt would 100% understand because of own his history and familiarity with Stick and his causes. And I don’t think this can be said enough, but does anyone remember when Elektra actually develops as a character over the course of DDS2? Like how by 2x08 she has genuinely accepted Matt’s desire for the light, no strings attached? She is GLAD that she didn’t snuff out his darkness? And when Matt asks her to leave, she DOES. She is willing to walk out of his life because he believes they are corrupting each other and as hurt as she must have been in that moment, she does exactly what he asks of her. And remember how she is willing to be convinced by Matt that she doesn’t have to be a weapon for the Hand, and she makes the choice to fight on his side? And how she is absolutely frustrated with his desire to save the Hand hostages because she rightfully identifies it as a trap, but she knows how he is and she helps him anyway. Even Father Lanthom directly rebuts Matt’s statements at the beginning of Defenders, when Matt questions whether Elektra would be disappointed in him for abandoning Daredevil. Because he’s clearly heard enough about Elektra from Matt’s many visits to be able to piece together an image of this mysterious, damaged woman that isn’t just the coldhearted monster people seem to think she is, but the feeling woman who actually cares about Matt’s desires and wellbeing that exists underneath. It’s odd that all of these things seem so casually discarded in favor of highlighting Elektra’s darker tendencies, huh?

If you ask me, there seems to be quite more going for Elektra than initially meets the eye. I fall back on this Elodie on Elektra quote a lot, but I think it sums it up so nicely:

They seem to be very different, but maybe deep down, they are quite similar and that’s where their bond comes from. She comes across as being the bad girl and he comes across as being the good guy, but maybe they’re both somewhere in the middle. Maybe Matthew isn’t that good and maybe Elektra isn’t that bad. They complete each other.

So it all boils down to a few key factors for me.

Let me preface this conclusion by saying that I honestly don’t think Daredevil’s story, at least if they continue to follow the blueprint set up by his very long and robust comics history, includes any sort of Happily Ever After. The closest thing he’s got to any sort of safe and stable relationship is with Foggy and I do think in the end, Foggy will (probably) be the one left standing. But the question is whether there’s any truth / logic / weight in the concept of Matt belongs with Karen and DD belongs with Elektra. And ultimately, I say: no. I believe that just as Karen and Elektra both deserve someone who can fully appreciate them for who they are, Matt also deserves someone who can appreciate him for who he is, for both sides. If you were able to break Matt into two halves, then sure, each of these women would probably be more appropriately matched with one half over the other. But Matt isn’t two people. Matt is one. So if I have to consider which person would actually work best with Matt as Matt Murdock and Matt as Daredevil, Elektra will have the edge for me.

I don’t doubt that they’ll take Matt and Karen back down that road in S3 but as someone who may not ever love this character, but can still respect the changes they’ve done with her, I just can’t see how this is going to work without making Matt into a completely different person, or sacrificing a lot of the strides they’ve made with Karen’s characterization. They’ve done such a stellar job giving Karen stories that allow her to stand on her own, even when she stumbles and makes mistakes and forces me to curse under my breath for the umpteenth time. And it’s not that I feel like she doesn’t deserve to also have romance and softness and love, it’s just that based on all of the things we know about her, I’m not sure Matt can ever give her what she needs, or vice versa. Time and time again, Matt had demonstrated that Karen just isn’t that high of a priority in his life – given the choice between Elektra and Karen, 9 out of 10, he’s going with Elektra. And the sad thing is that I’m pretty sure there was absolutely zero active intent to abandon and belittle Karen, but his actions and his words were always in character, and the message was crystal clear. Sure, there are ways that Matt can certainly be a better person and friend and boyfriend, but there will be limits to that growth because Matt Murdock still has to be Matt Murdock. As long as Daredevil exists and Matt lives his life on the edge of some unpredictable danger, I think that’s just going to be one edge too much for Karen Page. I don’t think they’ll ever be able to eliminate that fundamental disconnect between the sweet Matt and Karen they hypothetically want to be based on the fronts they put on for each other – the one that seems so nice and healthy and safe – and the one that is reality, the frustrating and messy and confusing one where you acknowledge that maybe although they’re two people who have enough in common to be good friends and care deeply for one another, but the future just isn’t there, much like how it ended with Matt and Claire.

Most Mattelektra shippers will be the first to confess that this is no model relationship. We know it’s not healthy. We know it’s messed up. These two clearly have a bond that seems to defy reason or logic and sometimes, even sanity. But even so, at its core, their emotional connection is still rooted in a foundation of unconditional love, understanding, and belief in one another. It’s the sort of thing that leads them to give more to each other than they’d ever been able to give to other people. And because they know each other just that well, and believe in one another to such a degree, they are willing to run headlong into danger and death for it. This bond hasn’t always been used in the best way, nor have they ever had the chance truly be their best within it (I would say that Elektra’s death in DDS2 cut that potential tragically short for now), but I do think this quality gives them a very unique potential to bring out more from each other and to eventually become the best possible people they could be, within the context of their existing flaws and shortcomings. I think it’s more realistic (within the world of the show) to see Matt change himself enough to be a better partner for Elektra without sacrificing the things that make him who he is. And in turn, I can see a similar trajectory for Elektra, where she can also figure herself out and find a purpose for her life with a freedom that she was never afforded before, but also have someone who is supporting her and encouraging her along the way (mostly) without judging her.

*goes back to see what the ask was about* SO YEAH. Does this answer your question? Who the hell even knows.

But now you get to read my very long thoughts and you (and anyone else) can feel free to tell me what you think…I’m even open to some respectful discourse and disagreement as long as it doesn’t devolve into trashing my ship. I know I’m not as emotionally invested in Karen’s journey so maybe my reading on her is off…if I am, I’d love to hear some other takes. I’m just glad I’m done writing this thing :D.