#I feel like maybe I should rename that in honor of me trying to talk to myself better

[rosicheeks]

one thing i want to tell you: the tag for your original posts shouldn’t be ‘shut up rosie’. i love every single time i get to hear from you, we all do. be nicer to yourself, okay? for us? 💖

-🌸

[ryoskuna]

⭑ shaken, not stirred universe. | introduction.

notes: we’ve heard about bartender!sukuna, so get ready for the others! think of this as those choose-your-own adventure games, where you can choose your own love interest and path. you’re not just limited to sukuna, but you’ve got many more love interests you can choose (or request).  this is just a humble introduction to the roles each jjk character fills within the shaken, not stirred universe, and may allude to some of the situations you may encounter on you way. so grab a snack, buckle in, cause it’s going to be one hell of a ride.

depending on how tumblr updates go, this may become a project reserved for AO3, but I’ll do what I can for now, here on tumblr. feel free to ask about any of the characters, and you all know how to find my inbox. additionally, i’m going to try and make this as gender-neutral and reader-neutral as possible, BUT, i’m also slightly biased in making content for black girls because I am one, so we’ll see how this goes. each drabble or fic will be marked for what kind of reader it discusses.  also, i’m a sucker for a good oc... so there may be a whole related series with an original character(s). this is just the introduction for the universe so you know who is who.

MAIN ROUTES INCLUDE: sukuna, toji, nanami, megumi, yuji, mei mei, gojo, and geto.  i’d be open to include routes for nobara, maki, inumaki, yuta, kamo, todo, momo, and mai (and maybe, choso) (but by default, nobara and maki are together unless requested individually, and mai is with momo (unless you request them individually as well). regardless of route, shoko and utahime are together.) but you would have to request these characters as in send me a message going “for the shaken not stirred universe, i would like a mai x reader, or nobara x reader”.

warnings: they’ll vary by route/character you choose, however, some general warnings is mentions of alcohol, past relationships, drama, angst. there’s some potential for 18+ content, however it will be marked as such (should it occur). oh, and there’s probably some unchecked grammar or spelling errors. there’s also a little bit of manga spoilers due to some characters being introduced.

summary: welcome to malevolent shrine, in the heart of shibuya, and one of the best rated bars on yelp.  for all it’s worth ( and that one entryway at the side that you have to go down a set of exterior stairs and through a laundromat to get through that entrance) and despite the name, in its two story glory, it’s a fun place to be. the people who enter or work there are even better. and they’ve all got stories to tell.  sit back, grab a drink, and prepare for what may be some of the most interesting events you’ve ever seen. 

bonus: sukuna specific playlist ( x ), malevolent shrine playlist ft. sounds from their local acts/musicians ( x ), more to be added later (i am thinking of one called ‘toji’s ipod shuffle’, another called ‘dancing in gojo’s living room’, and one called ‘sitting in the passenger seat of geto’s car’.) 

© all characters belong to gege akutami.  however, this au and associated ideas are of my own creation, do not steal. 

introducing the characters!

bartender!sukuna: new owner of the bar, malevolent shrine. when he gained ownership two years ago, he remodeled the bar and renamed it, as it was about to foreclose until he took managerial control, and the original owner gave him the bar when they retired.  has a college degree in art history and art, has a few business management courses under his belt.  he’s yuji’s older brother, and he’s very intense.  there’s headcanons for him here ( x ).  he has a signature drink, named after the bar, called malevolent shrine. 

accountant!nanami: think of him as sukuna’s second in command (next to uraume) but he manages the finances of malevolent shrine. also hates work, but sukuna allows him to do what he wants, so he enjoys it slightly more. has a signature drink called 7-to-3. 

budding model!nobara: in a professional rivalry with mai, however she is a signed to a modeling agency as well as growing in her instagram presence. 

college student!maki: she is in her senior year of college, and is an athlete that does track and field — shot-put and discus and javelin.

benefactor!gojo: an old classmate of sukuna’s, now turned benefactor and donor to malevolent shrine to keep it open. he and sukuna have a so-so relationship (with gojo remembering that sukuna took the job as a way to take care of his younger brother yuji and their grandfather). sukuna did make a drink in his honor called infinite void.

restaurant owner!geto: owns a high-scale restaurant with mei mei. raising two twin girls.  he’s mostly a retired pianist, but he helped sign the lease with mei mei for stability’s sake. 

benefactor!mei mei: is a rival to gojo, both in terms of owning her restaurant (more like funding it) and buys whatever she likes (whether it’s an item or a person). 

culinary student!yuji: works as a “head” of the kitchen at malevolent shrine. he’s sukuna’s younger brother, and sukuna tends to give him free reign on the meals that he makes. but everything he makes is good. when he’s not at school or malevolent shrine, he’s usually hanging out with nobara and megumi. 

indie artist!megumi: one of the main and recurring acts at malevolent shrine. plays the guitar and will deny that he ever learned how to play the violin. he’s sort of adopted by gojo, but knows his father toji, and they’re working on reconciling their relationship. he’s roommates with yuji and nobara, and often used as nobara’s photographer.

bouncer!toji: the dilf. he’s boxing buddies with sukuna, as well as a force to be reckoned with at the bar. he’s good at his job and dare someone to pick a fight with him. you won’t win.  sukuna made a drink in his honor called playful cloud. 

musician!kamo: does a mixture of traditional japanese music and heavy metal, and he’s rivals with megumi. he can play an electric shamisen.

instagram model!mai and makeup artist!momo: sort of girlfriends, sort of FWBs, sort of exes, no one is exactly sure what’s going on there, and no one wants to ask. mai is a popular instagram model, but has yet to be signed to an agency. momo is her makeup artist, as well as a professional one. 

part-time waitress!miwa: she works at malevolent shrine, helping as a waitress, and has a baking yt channel that’s growing in popularity and often features her two brothers. 

physical trainer!todo: works at the gym sukuna and toji frequently attend. he’s very supportive to old and newcomers alike, and does not tolerate elitists who have been going to the gym for years. he also does the occasional twitch stream of his workouts.

guitarist!yuta: plays the guitar for inumaki. he can play both electric and acoustic, and he’s like a second cousin to gojo, although no one is exactly sure how they’re related.

singer!inumaki: he’s a singer, however, no one has ever seen his face when he performs. he performs as a silhouette behind a screen.

paramedic!shoko and high school teacher!utahime: shoko is a paramedic who attends the bar on her days off, and often drags utahime along. shoko makes sure that geto and gojo get along in public, and makes sure utahime relaxes to some extent.

shoko and sukuna hold each other accountable for not relapsing on their smoking addiction.

promotions and tech support!mechamaru: works at malevolent shrine and helps with the graphic design as well as tech support for the bands and musical acts that come through the bar. watches miwa’s baking channel in his spare time, and will talk to her about her recipes. has a crush on miwa.

notes: 

geto and gojo are very complicated exes. no one knows how they broke up or why — just that it happened in front of a kfc —but there’s so many stories about them floating around like they were going to elope and travel the world, but no one knows the exact truth. 

gojo raised megumi and tsumiki very briefly for some years while toji was a brief drifter. yes, megumi is aware that toji is his dad.

yuji, nobara, and megumi are roommates.

yuta and inumaki are a musical duo. they come as a set.

[incarnateirony]

Hey spoilersuit:

I thought I should let you know that before you try to smear me in DMs about what did and didn’t happen because you got big mad, the people you’re messaging literally all saw the entire log of the conversation and were the very people giving me questions, thanks.

We also only casually call you spoilersuit, your flailing is hilarious though. Don’t worry, there’s literally an entire channel in purview of a wide audience with about 15 pages of log back and forth so don’t worry about me having “twisted” anything you said.

l i t e r a l l y

do you think I really was coming up with angled questions to box you in all on my own while I told you I was at work? And that it wasn’t a team effort of several DOZEN people boxing you in?

The funny thing about their pettiness on this is they gave me enough personal information to figure out who they are and yet I still haven’t released that, but keep pushing me. See how that goes for you.

If you really, really, really want us to stop colloquially calling you spoilersuit, I can list your age, gender, workperiod, city of residence, rank and job in the company and then let corporate sort it out?

honey each and every one of us knew you had an agenda from the gate. this is what you get for assuming lowly fandomites are fucking plebs. If you had paid more attention to the questions and not come from a position of assuming we worshipped the ground you walked on for literally just reaffirming details we knew-- and uh, recognizing so little that you couldn’t tell the roadhouse from a cabin-- I’m never ever EVER going to get over that because I explicitly tested you on that and you failed-- maybe it wouldn’t be like this.

If it makes you feel better, we renamed your channel about 3 days ago from “spoilersuit” to “spoilergenie” due to an inside joke. So if you prefer Genie, we’ll do that. We even made cards against humanity cards in your honor. Really, truly. Thank you.

I’m still fucking baffled that any of them would contact me. Everyone knows I protect (most of) the writers and have a long standing hate grudge with the network itself due to shit even beyond this show and have even aired their dirty laundry in the fucking past but you’re really gonna swing into my inbox and assume to pull this nonsenseKJSDFksjdf no shit I’m not gonna tell you to stop sending spoilers.

“You know what sounds like a great idea? Pulling up into the inbox of this person and admitting all the corporate shit about representation they’ve been preaching for years and getting shit down on by the fandom. Oh, and giving disearnest half answers on questions that I know I’m boxed in on and running off into the horizon when nailed down. Oh look a chicken.” what

I’m sorry you got shown to be on some serious disconnected crack, admitted you don’t follow the story beats, can’t identify basic shit, and consider 28pt3 “noble and transcendent” because you’re that fucking divorced from not even just fandom but audience perceptioNSDKFJSDFKJSdfskdjfskdfjs my gOD

Ah yes, Dean dying on a rusty screw that even former crew members are turning into a fucking joke, much less the universal reaction to it that is *even flooding nonfandom facebook*. Very connected. Much impress.

Like seriously, you’re not mysterious and you’re not gonna roll anyone, people have been talking about your full log for DAYS.

Have fun guessing what 57 people in my orbit have full access and which other couple hundred only have partial access while you try to troll in DMs.

Or you can stop while you’re ahead.

[teamsarawatshusband]

Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 6

First of all, as I gained a lot of new followers, just an FYI: This is me watching Word of Honor for the first time and writing down my thoughts as I go. Mostly it's me being confused as hell and giving all the characters weird names, because I can't remember the real ones. If this is not your thing, feel free to skip these posts and maybe blacklist "smirklord"

If you do choose to read along, please know that these are the most important characters:

Zhou Zi Shu = Baby Zi Shu/ Zhou Xu lord guy/alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy Wen Ke Xing = Smirky Xing/Smirky fan guy Gu Xiang = Purple Girl/my Purple Love/my Purple Queen Smirklord is my personal ship name for Zhou Zi Shu and Wen Ke Xing.

Previous episodes are here.

To anybody who was here before: Sorry that it took me so long to continue this. I accidentally came across a spoiler about my purple queen and I was pretty bummed about it. So I stopped watching for a while. Also, the show is getting more complex and I'm having a harder time remembering who everybody is. But anyway, let's go!

Episode 6:

LOL, Smirky Xing called Baby Xu Mom and wants to be carried. He's so cute when hallucinating.

Anyway, I'm glad Smirky Xing saved Baby Xu. Now, what's the thing he captured?

Baby Xu is hurt, thankfully he's also like a travelling pharmacist.

Oh, Smirky Xing, can I just point out that I have never before seen anybody accuse another person of being a serial killer with such a lovestruck expression on their face. And why do you keep insisting that you’re a good guy when nobody accused you of anything?

Oh, so the zombies and mummies weren't dead, but... living people controlled by someone? What?

LOL, "Do you have a dagger?" and Smirky Xing instantly pulls one out of his sleeve like it's no big deal, and who knows what else he keeps in there.

Ewww, is Baby Xu going to go stabbing at his own wounds? Please no.

Ewww, ewww, ewww. Oh, he's sucking out the poison I guess.

Waaah, what is Smirky Xing going to. - Oh. OMGOMGOMGOMG, eww, but also YESSS, you go for that shoulder kiss, honey, YES!  (Sorry, I had to rewind that moment a couple times). Let's rename Smirky Xing to Kissy Xing.

Oh, and this once and for all gave Baby Xu's diguise away. He didn't put make-up on his shoulder.

'Can you show me your real appearance' my ass. He wants to see you naked. And Baby Xu reminds him of consent. I mean, trust. But, really... consent.

OMG, "you can touch it." Yes! Touch it Baby Xu! Touch it!!!  Kissy Xing gave his permission!!!

Oooooh, they're dancing again!!!

OMG, they're going to the lake. Is this gonna turn into the dirty dancing lifting figure scene? PLEASE?

I don't even care, this 100% counts as the lifting scene.

Dude, what? Can you not swim? Baby Xu? You okay? He fell into the water, okay. But why doesn't he get back to the surface?????

Does he want to be saved? Please tell me he's not drowning. :O Kissy Xing looks so worried.

Whoa, where did his mask go? :O :O :O

Okay, okay, okay. Clothes on the drying rack, they're basically in their undies. And kissy Xing can't stop staring at Baby Xu's real face.

Real face baby Xu looks so much softer. Still pissy though, did he seriously just wipe the bottle neck? Come on, man. You had his lips suck on your skin already. I'm sure you can take his spit.

So kissy Xing's name is really Wen Ke Xing. And his face is really his face. I do wanna trust him so much. His voice is so soft all of a sudden. Wahhhh.

Oh, so the item they captured was from hanging ghost? But not the real one?

Kissy Xing, you killed the ghost guy while Baby Xu wanted to interrogate him. You say it was a mistake cause you were worried, but you could still very well be nuts guy and make sure nobody gives you away!

I feel a bit like Brad Pitt in Seven. WHAT'S IN THE BOX???!!!!

Zhou Zi Shu! Kissy Xing said the name. HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!!! He recognized him!!!! He knows who he is. But he doesn't say so to his face. Why is everything so confusing???

Should I call Baby Xu Baby Zi Shu from now on?

Noo, don't cut away from smirklord, I wanna keep watching smirklord!

Meh, some stupid guitar guy doing a Jimmi Hendrix impression and lots of dead guys, who might not actually be dead standing in line for the concert tickets.

Some tall hat guy. Who is he? He gets VIP acess.

Is it just me or do you also find it annoying when they're playing instruments and the music doesn't match the finger movements?

Ok, Hendrix guy is scorpion king. Is he related to the scorpion assassins? Anyway, he's got really cool hair. Total rockstar vibes.

Tall hat guy is trying to be charming and coming across like a record label manager.

Okay, so they both don't know what happened and who killed the other ghost guy. Oh, wait, is tall hat guy the one who stole the glazed armor from uncle Zhao? Is the item that Kissy Xing and Baby Zi Shu captured a piece of glazed armor??? :O

Ok, tall hat guy is changing ghost.

Back to Smirklord! YES!

Okay, Baby Zi Shu figured out the item box thing? Is the blue glass thing the glazed armor??? Tbh, it looks a bit like the plastic part of some kid's braces.

Yooo, Kissy Xing coming in hot with the rabbit dowry.

Whoa, Baby Zi Shu just throws the glazed armor over to Kissy Xing, like it's no big deal. He really really doesn't want it. Nice return gift, though.

Okay, what is this flirting? Baby Zi Shu keeps stating that he's a bad guy you need to be terrified of, much like Kissy Xing kept saying he's a good guy. And now he's calling Kissy Xing a trouble.

LOL, Kissy Xing agrees on the gift idea. He wants to carry it on his body. Nice.

K, k, it's uncle Zhao's glazed armor. The kid must have his own armor somehow. And the ghost guys are trying to play all the other parties and make them doubt each other. I see.

Kissy Xing is so whipped, wow. He'll do anything, including gutting the rabbits.

LOL, they're trying to give the kid food. Like that EVER worked before at all. No, uncle Zhao, you dimwit, he does NOT have a good appetite, lol.

Why is everybody giving the kid a hard time about crying. His family got murdered, his two adopted dads left him all alone with the two weird uncles... Of course he's gonna cry. Duh.

Ah, geez, Uncle Shen, just shut up. You know nothing. (he's not smart enough to be called a-hole guy anymore, sorry)

Okay, so, three glazed armor pieces have been stolen from their owners. But Uncle Zhao still has his? Then whose piece was stolen the other night? What? And who is brother Lu? Was that the kid's dad?

Now there's two more older guys, who are they? Oh, one is Lord of Broken Sword Manor. Wait, wasn't that magenta guy? Or was that his son? Somebody PLEASE fill me in here.

The other one is brother Yu, whoever that is.

Seriously, every time pleated skirt soldier boss jerk uncle shen a-hole guy opens his mouth I wanna slap him.

Kissy Xing and Baby Zi Shu are wearing new clothes. When and where did they change? Were they together when they changed? Hehe, I need to know. For science.

They are returning to the bamboo woods and the bodies from the previous night are gone. Kissy Xing asks why Baby Zi Shu had the antidote to the hallucination drug. Actually, good question. Baby Zi Shu, why DID you have the antidote? Oh, it's a Window of Heaven thing?

WHATWHATWHAT? The illusion makes people see what they WANT THE MOST? And Baby Zi Shu drops this knowledge just like that while WE know that Kissy Xing called him by his real name, i.e. saw HIM, whilst under the illusion??? WHAT???

Nooo, Kissy Xing, why are you lying? Why won't you tell what you saw when you hallucinated? I wanna know too, gah!!!

Yo, Baby Zi Shu DEVELOPED the illusion drug? As a sleep remedy, lol. Nice.

K, who's the guy in the carriage at Sanbai Manor? Han Ying. Who is that? Have we seen him before?

Did Baby Zi Shu just tell Kissy Xing the truth about himself killing people, setting them on fire etc.? That came out super smooth.

They're talking about this heroes conference that was mentioned before, but I have no idea what it is, and what it relates to. I'm so bad at remembering TV series plotlines... I'm assuming that this conference is where the uncles take the kid to.

Aww, Baby Zi Shu keeps close by and watches over the kid.

Kissy Xing wants 30 copies of the glazed armor piece. And he is freaking rich, man.

Waaaah, my purple queen! I've missed her so much. And she's kept the other girls around. And they're playing strip mahjong, apparently, lol. Yes, good for her! Also, Bechdel test passed! Nice.

Where are they anyway? Which town is this? Was this mentioned, did I miss it?

K, so Kissy Xing wants to pay the two girls out so they'll leave (very obviously), but they don't want to. Is he going to make my queen kill them after all? And she gives him nuts in return. Hmm. I mean, seriously. He MUST be nuts guy. There were SO MANY hints.

Oh, he lets them stay and become My queen's servants.

What? What is this secret plan? What are they gonna do with the fake pieces of glazed armor?

Noooooo, don't end here!!!!!

Wahhh

Okay, what have I learned: Baby Zi Shu's real name! And that Kissy Xing knows him from somewhere. Also learned what glazed armor pieces look like. My queen loves playing strip mahjong. And people are meeting up for some heroes conference.

Goals for future episodes: Find out how Kissy Xing and Baby Zi Shu know each other. Finally finish that name chart thing and add all the new people, omg.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[mor-beck-more-problems]

In the Deep of It || Morgan & Mina

TIMING: Recent past

LOCATION: Dark Score Lake

PARTIES: @drowningisinevitable @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Morgan considers death; Mina confesses a secret

CONTAINS: Implications of past emotional abuse

The ashes of the dead were indistinguishable from the dirt floating around the lake bed. Morgan spread them as evenly as possible, guiding the granules down to the moist floor and watching how they swirled as they settled through the murky water. When she was satisfied, she swam up to the surface, blinking the water away from her eyes. “Thank you for this, Mina. I know the whole squid situation wreaked some serious havoc, but this really does feel like a good place for them. You weren’t kidding about the number of bodies down there, and it feels--” She paused thoughtfully, leaning back to float. “It’s kind of restful. I don’t think I would’ve minded being here if I’d stayed dead. I just wish it was better circumstances that finally got us by the lake together.”

“It’s no trouble, really,” Mina said after the water left her lungs. She didn’t worry about Morgan judging her, but, all the same, she tried to keep up a more human appearance than she would if she’d been alone. She was still patchy with scales, and her hands here webbed and clawed, but she probably looked normal. From a distance. Probably. “I think it’s a good place to rest, too. It was… different, when the squid and those people were here. Even when I could come, it was because I had to, not because I wanted to or even enjoyed it.” Looking at Morgan, Mina mimicked the other woman, leaning back and allowing herself to float. “It wouldn’t be a bad place to rest,” she said thoughtfully, “though I’m personally rather glad you didn’t stay dead.” She was beginning to think that the older woman was one of the best friends that she’d had. One of the only friends she’d had, really. “I would have liked that, too. We can still get something for Deirdre, if you’d like, though.”

“Aaaww,” Morgan cooed. “So you could visit my mouldering bones?” She swam in a circle around Mina, turning over the strangeness of the water. She was hyper aware of the current every stroke of her arms created, of the buoyancy of the water, but she had spent so little time in lakes, she didn’t know how different it was supposed to be from a pool or an ocean except for how alive (and dead) it was underneath her. “I’m glad I’m not all dead either,” she said. “But it does feel like...like I’m not completely who I was before? On the one hand I’ve read enough psych theory and been through enough therapy to know that’s how trauma works to a certain extent, I’m also, you know…” She held up a hand for them both to examine its awkward death-pallor and the discoloration creeping into her nails. It was feeding day and she was saving her dinner for a meal with Deirdre. Morgan sighed. “But I am more here than I thought I was going to be at first. And would like to find something to bring her, yeah. Show me where the good bones are, and maybe after tell me some of the stuff that had you all stressed?”

Glancing at Morgan out of the corner of her eye, Mina rolled them a bit. “Yes, so I could visit your mouldering bones. What else would I do with myself?” Her eyes followed the zombie as she moved. Mina had to wonder how often Morgan was in the water. She remembered the older woman telling her that she would sit at the bottom of the swimming pool sometimes. That sounded horribly boring and a bit depressing, but she had no room to judge, seeing as how she spent most of her time in the water laying on the bottom of the lake bed. “You also don’t feel the same,” Mina said, finishing what Morgan was trying to say. She held up her own hand, scales and claws and webbing on display. “I think you’re doing a lot better than you could be. I can’t imagine that most people take being a zombie very well.” Pulling her hand away, she looked across the surface of the lake, anxiety prickling under her skin. “Right. I think there’s some better bones over there,” she motioned a bit to the right of them, “Old but well preserved. And, ah, yeah. I’m not as stressed as I was a few weeks ago.”

“Cry for my soul, write me a nice fae dirge so my tale will be remembered? Just, you know, the usual, right?” Morgan suggested, her eyes bright and mischievous with the game. Her smile turned thoughtful as Mina brought her own hand up for comparison. Morgan thought her nix friend was fascinating. She wondered how it felt to glisten the way the way she did, to take to the water like it belonged to her, if there was ever a time when her claws felt powerful. But it had to be hard, comparing something so different to a perceived human ‘default.’ “I guess it shouldn’t have to be a bad thing. I am different. It’s nice when someone’s able to tell.”

Morgan started to swim in the direction Mina had indicated, moving in lazy strokes. “The older the better,” she said, beaming. “And does not being as stressed mean you’re okay to talk about it? You don’t have to, obviously. I’m just wondering, maybe mildly worried.”

“I’d play you the saddest song I know on the piano,” Mina said, laughing. “Have the English department renamed in your honor. And the science department. And the math department. The whole school, even. University of Maine, Morgan Beck Branch.” She liked this, had never had this, this joking and laughing and spending carefree time with someone. It was almost easy, to put away years of training and conditioning and just… be. Almost. She couldn’t get past some of it. It was impossible to forget her upbringing, even when she had been spending every day trying to set it aside. “It shouldn’t be a bad thing. I’m learning,” she paused, considering. “I’m learning that.” But she followed after Morgan, trying to think of the best place to find old bones. They were heading the right way, she was sure of it. She’d fallen asleep one night in the lake and drifted this way, waking up and screaming when she saw human remains littering the lake floor. It had been… a lot, in the moment. It should be better, now that she was expecting it. “I can do really old.” She stopped swimming for a moment, considering Morgan’s words. “Yes? I mean, I’ve already talked about it, and, really, it was awful, but I think I could do it again.” She thought about Q’s reaction, his desire to “help” her, almost constantly. She could only imagine that it would be worse in person. “Please don’t be upset with me?”

“Don’t forget my statue,” Morgan said, giggling. “And one for you too, as my posthumous benefactor, obviously.” She rotated into an awkward backstroke so she could appreciate the look on Mina’s face. She hadn’t seen her this relaxed before, and wondered if it was literally being in her natural element or if things had really improved that much for her. She stopped when Mina did, looking at her thoughtfully. She didn’t know what to think of ‘awful but would do again.’ Were all fae so ready to hurt or sacrifice themselves for others?

“Hey…” Morgan swam over so they were close enough to touch hands. “Why would I be upset? Whatever’s going on, I’d like to help you if I can. If it’s about your dad’s visit, or something else, okay? That’s what friends do, right? We help each other.”

“Oh, obviously,” Mina said. She’d like to keep up this line of conversation, the lighter line of conversation. She didn’t want to talk about the fact that she’d made a stupid, stupid promise just in order to feel accepted. She definitely didn’t want to talk about how it was going to kill her. “I did something that’s-- that’s really, really dumb.” Mina laughed a bit, nervously. “I mean, my dad coming isn’t exactly great news, though I’m happy to see him! I mean, I would be happy to see him, but I--” This was actually a bit harder to do in person, especially when Morgan so obviously cared. Mina didn’t know… She didn’t know how to explain this. “I made him a promise that I don’t intend to keep and it’s--” she looked at their hands. “I just don’t intend to keep it. So, I’m having to, you know, deal with it.”

“Dumb…” Morgan repeated, looking puzzled at her friend. That didn’t really gel with what she knew about Mina, who was so anxious to the point of overthinking. She was more than capable in a crisis, even if it had cost her an abundance of trauma. “Okay. Still concerned, but not upset…” And then Mina explained, at least explained in the broad sense. “Wait, ‘deal with it’? Mina, couldn’t breaking a promise kill you?” It had only been a few words, but Morgan’s voice was already shrill with alarm, enough to worry the birds above them. Not upset. Right. “Okay! Still not upset, strictly speaking! More like mega concern? I mean, is there a way to wriggle around this promise? Is there a reason this is really worth risking your life for, Mina? Can I do something to save you? Or can someone else? Maybe there’s a loophole! Wording from promises is really critical, right?”

“Promises don’t always kill people.” Mina said quickly. “Breaking a promise is kind of an equivalent exchange kind of thing. The more severe the promise, the more severe the consequence of breaking it.” That made it seem like it wasn’t so bad, right? Even though it was actually quite terrible! “My dad’s raised a Fae child for years. Trust me, he’s well-versed in wording and making sure things stick.” She gave a shaky sigh. “It was dumb. I didn’t think so, at the time, but it was-- Reckless. It was--” Usually, being in the water helped calm MIna down, but this was really making it worse. “Horrible. It’s a horrible promise, and I shouldn’t have made it, but just wanted.” This was the opposite of calming, actually. It was even worse than talking about it with Q because at least with him she didn’t have to say it. He knew.  “I wanted so bad to be accepted and welcomed and loved, and so I did it.”

“Oh, right,” Morgan said, not sure how much better she was supposed to feel about that. “Sometimes they just make you really sick or hurt. But if there’s no loophole--” Then Mina was stuck, either hurting herself or doing whatever it is she didn’t want to do anymore. Given who made her do it, Morgan could only imagine that it had something awful to do with violence and killing fae. As she listened to Mina explain herself, Morgan’s heart ached and broke. She brought her arms around Mina and hugged her gently, even as they began to sink a little into the water. “I’m so sorry, Mina. How bad is it going to be for you? Are you going to be able to survive? I can see if I can hide you at my house, or if we can get you out of town for a little while. You shouldn’t have to hurt like this just to be loved, or cared for. And you don’t, okay? You don’t have to do that. I promise.”

“I release you from your promise,” Mina said immediately, not wanting Morgan to be bound to something so abstract. If anyone knew the trouble of promises, it was Mina, and she refused to have someone bound to her. “It’s-- I’m--” she laughed a bit wetly as Morgan wrapped her arms around her, and it wasn’t from the water. “I’m so bloody stupid, Morgan. I’m so stupid.” Would her dad even be surprised when she failed him? Or would he just see a monster he tried to love but couldn’t, just like her mother. At least he wouldn’t have to kill her if she turned completely bad. At least she had that going for her… She didn’t want to die. “I promised I would kill a Fae, a humanoid one, one that could easily blend in with people, before he came back to White Crest, and I can’t. I can’t do it. I don’t want-- I can’t.”

Morgan continued to hold her, rolling her eyes and groaning as the nix released her from the promise she’d given freely. “You’re not stupid. You’re a person, and you wanted your Dad to be proud of you. You wanted to be loved. Everyone wants that, Mina. You’re not weird or weak for wanting what everyone does.” But that kind of promise--would fae magic really take a life for a life? Would it kill Mina? “And you know you’re not bad for not wanting to go through with something so awful, right? If anything, Mina, you’re too good. And we can find a way to do something about this. We can ask other fae for advice, maybe. We can...figure something out, so you don’t get too hurt. Don’t give up on yourself, please?”

“It’s stupid to make promises when you don’t know if you can go through with something,” Mina said. “I lied to myself for months, which, I mean, I can do that, even if I can’t lie to anyone else, most of the time.” She blinked back a few saltless tears, though a few trailed down her cheeks and mixed with the lake water that she called home. “I don’t feel good. I just feel like an idiot. I should’ve-- It’s not like doing it, killing someone, would change anything.” She felt overwhelmingly bitter. “It doesn’t change anything. I am what I am, for better or worse.” She hung her head, no longer looking at her friend. “I don’t know how to break this. I don’t think I can. And it’s-- I don’t want to die but I can’t-- I won’t. I-- This, it’s me, putting my line in the sand. I’m not going to kill anyone. I’m never doing that.” Mina closed her eyes tightly. “Even if it kills me.”

“I think everyone does that too, lies to themselves,” Morgan said sadly. “But I can tell you from experience that killing someone does make a difference. To how you feel, to how you are. If you ever, ever do something like that, Mina, it has to be something you really want or need to do. And even then--” Morgan squeezed her friend. “It does mean something, Mina, that you choose not to be a part of that. For some people, it can be everything. Who you are is so much more than just your species.” She pressed a kiss to Mina’as head. “Don’t give up yet. You’re still here. Maybe we can find a way. Stranger things have happened before. Come on..” She let them sink beneath the surface and separated enough so they could see one another and smiled warmly and took her hand, nodding what she hoped would be a reassurance. Gesturing onward into the depths, Morgan asked if they could swim together, if they could have more of death than just fear and dread.

“I think that’s the one thing all people have in common.” Mina was pretty sure about this one. Human or supernatural, there was something about lying to themselves that made people, well, people. “I’ve basically killed people. I’ve-- I’ve helped kill people, but I don’t want to do it myself. I can’t. It feels wrong. It’s not defending anyone or helping anyone if it’s just-- just murder.” She allowed herself to sink into the hug, though she didn’t know if she would ever get used to it. Her dad didn’t do hugs. Pats on the shoulder and ‘alright, kiddo’ was the way he showed affection, if he showed affection. She wondered, sometimes, if he ever cared about her at all. She fought with that thought sometimes. Not wanting to think about that, she nodded along to Morgan’s words. “Okay, okay, okay.” She took a few deep breaths as they sunk beneath the surface of the lake. Water and oxygen went in and out of her gills, and she tried to feel peace. Then, she followed Morgan deeper still into the lake. Though she still felt awful, she felt a lot better than she had before. And that wasn’t a lie she was just telling herself.

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 3x05 “Good Form” Review

(Like I was going to post any other gif for this one)

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16 1x17 1x18 1x19 1x20 1x21 1x22 2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05 2x06 2x07 2x08 2x09 2x10 2x11 2x12 2x13 2x14 2x15 2x16 2x17 2x18 2x19 2x20 2x21 2x22 3x01 3x02 3x03 3x04

Well, if you haven’t guessed it by now, this is one of my favorite episodes. Not only do we get to see Killian’s family and pirate origins, but we get the first Captain Swan kiss!!! Um, did anything else happen in this episode? Oh yeah, David has been cured from the Dreamshade, but now he is unable to leave Neverland without dying. Henry’s imagination starts conjuring real swords, and Neal is being hung in a box next to another box. Who could be in that one?

Summary: Lt. Killian Jones and Capt. Liam Jones head to Neverland in search of a plant that should heal anything and cure any disease, but Liam pays a terrible price when Pan warns them the plant is not what they think. Hook has to trick David into coming with him to get him cured, but he too will have to pay a price for getting cured from the Dreamshade.

Opening: The Jewel of the Realm

New Characters:

Liam Jones:  Liam is the captain of The Jewel of the Realm and Killian’s older brother. He also tends to treat Killian like he is still a child, despite the fact that it seems he hand picked Killian to be his leftenant on this mission. He calls him little brother and doesn’t seem to let him know much about their journey (Killian is surprised by the pegasus sail, but the rest of the crew seems to know about it). When they arrive on Neverland it is just him and Killian who go on land to retrieve the Dreamshade. They run into Peter Pan and Liam is a complete arrogant ass. He completely dismisses everything Pan tells him, simply because he doesn’t believe their king would kill people in a war. That’s pretty much what war in the Enchanted Forest is about, isn’t it? Killing people in the name of the king for whatever the king wants. Killian at least has the sense to question their mission, but Liam still thinks their king can do no wrong. Liam and Killian argue when they find the Dreamshade. Killian wants to fight fairly in the war, but Liam is still insistent that their king didn’t lie to them about the plant. He thinks Pan wants to keep the plant all to himself (well, technically, Liam, you have invaded his island and are attempting to take a local plant with supposed healing properties from the person who lives there). Liam actually rolls his eyes at Killian and decides the best way to convince his brother is by scratching himself with the plant to prove a point. And he definitely proves one, that his brother was right and they should have listened to Pan. Killian makes Liam drink from the spring on Pan’s advice and the Dreamshade immediately disappears. Too bad Liam’s attitude toward Killian doesn’t. His first words are to call him captain when Killian is desperately asking for his brother back. I know it’s supposed to be a joke, but Liam’s whole attitude just riles me up. The Jewel of the Realm is flying back to their kingdom. Liam actually apologizes to Killian for not listening to him. Liam claims they’re going to call out the king for what he planned to do with the Dreamshade. The ship lands in their waters and Liam immediately starts dying, the Dreamshade crawling up his face (it’s kind of obscured by his scruff, but it’s definitely there. He dies in Killian’s arms. Because he couldn’t listen to his brother’s concerns over his own arrogance.

Character Observations:

Killian/Hook: So, Killian was a Navy man. All buttoned up and long ponytail. And the bangs, the bangs! I know it’s to make him look younger, but oof. He gets on the crew for not having their jackets completely buttoned and for drinking rum, and talks about good form. The captain of The Jewel of the Realm, happens to be his big brother. They are on a mission for the king. Killian seems very naive throughout all of this. Like he’s been under Liam’s protective thumb for all his childhood. We know their father abandoned Killian on a ship as Hook told this to Bae in And Straight on Til Morning, no mention of Liam, but it sounds like Liam had a good hand in raising Killian and it seems weird that Liam has become captain and Killian still doesn’t know a lot of things. I get that we, as the audience, need the exposition to learn these things, but it’s making Killian look like a complete idiot. Liam gives him a sextant with a pegasus on it to help him navigate their journey. Killian has never seen the stars on the sextant, but is the best navigator Liam has known. Liam can’t give him all the details of the journey, but tells him they’ll bring peace to the kingdom. Killian is proud to be on a hero's journey. Oh, if you only knew, Killian. Enemy ships start attacking them and that’s when Liam rolls out their secret weapon, that Killian, his brother and leftenant, has no idea about. A pegasus sail that lets them fly to Neverland. Killian looks ecstatic when they start to fly. The brothers are the only ones who set foot on Neverland (I guess this is before the ‘if you set foot on Neverland you can never leave’ rule Wendy told Bae about in Second Star to the Right). Liam finally reveals what they are on the island to find, and Killian is appalled that they’re there to find a plant. But once Liam tells him of it’s magical properties of healing, Killian is in awe and thinks about how many lives could be saved. And that’s when Pan shows up. While Liam is more interested in interrogating the boy, Killian is looking around trying to figure out where he came from, as the only thing behind him is water. Pan informs them that the Dreamshade they seek is poison. Killian looks as though he wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of Pan’s claims. Watch his face, he’s trying not to smile when he says it’s medicine. Pan tells them it’s doom and how easy it would be to wipe out the opposing side in their war. This immediately upsets Killian who thinks maybe the boy is right, but Liam thinks Pan is playing games with them, and Killian shouldn’t be so gullible. They head off to find the Dreamshade, but Killian seems to have a bit more trepidation about it. They find the Dreamshade and Killian is having second thoughts about it. Liam is still all about loyalty to the king, but Killian sees no reason why Pan would lie to them. Liam again tells him he needs to believe his king, but Killian sees no honor in their king if the plant is really poison.  Liam basically tells him he’s an idiot and he needs to listen to him because he is his brother and his captain, but Killian is adamant that Pan is telling the truth and their king is being deceitful. He’s all about fighting fairly. Liam decides that in order to convince Killian, he needs to scratch himself with the Dreamshade. Killian looks extremely worried, and with good reason, because the Dreamshade starts spreading through Liam’s veins and he passes out. Killian begins to freak out. The tremor and pain in his voice is so heartbreaking. Pan comes by and Killian begs him to help, stating that his brother is all he has left. Pan shows him the waters that run through Neverland and tells him they can cure any ill (maybe that’s what the king meant to send them after?). Pan tells him that all magic comes with a price and he shouldn’t leave the island if he doesn’t want to pay it. Killian tells Pan whatever he wants, it’s his, misunderstanding what the price of magic means. Pan fills his canteen and gives some of the water to Liam who wakes right away. Killian is overjoyed to see Liam awake and without the mark of the Dreamshade on him. He immediately calls for Pan to pay him, but he has disappeared. Sailing back through the clouds, Killian is looking at his brother like he’s a god in his cabin. Liam actually admits he should have listened to his little (younger) brother, but Killian just tells him he’s happy he survived. Liam says they’ll tell their realm about the king’s cowardice in using such unholy weapons in war. Killian, again, looks up adoringly at his big bro and tells him he’ll follow him to the ends of the earth. Killian goes to look at the window as they land, and when he looks back, Liam is falling to the floor, dying from the Dreamshade. Liam dies in his arms. And then we get to see why Killian turned pirate. After dumping Liam’s body into the water for a burial at sea, one of the ship’s crewmen gives Killian his brother’s satchel and calls him captain. Killian looks like he was the one who just died. He lovingly fingers the insignia on the satchel, swearing his brother will always be with him, and then he gets angry. He burns the pegasus sail so no one else can get to Neverland (um, I’d think that would be dangerous for the ship in general), and then riles up the crew amidst the ashes floating around him to denounce their king and become pirates. He talks a lot about honor, but also says as pirates they can take as they please. So stealing is apparently good form, as long as it’s sticking it to their king. Taking revenge against his king by taking all the king has is okay because it’s retribution for Liam. He renames the ship the Jolly Roger and says how there is at least honor among thieves. I mean, I understand some of the younger crew maybe going along with this, but the older ones? Are you telling me none of these men have families that could now be in danger because they’ve decided to go pirate? But they all cheer the new Captain Jones. But you can see Killian takes no pleasure in it.

Hook and the rest of the SB crew are still in Bae’s cave looking around. Emma and Hook find markings Bae used to mark the time. Emma deduces he stopped marking time because he lost hope. Hook tells Emma he too knows what it’s like to lose hope. It seems like he’s making a concerted effort to make her feel better about the situation, but she takes it as him trying to bond with her. There is absolutely no innuendo or swagger happening from Hook, which is why I think he’s actually being sincere. Of course, David then goes into protective dad mode and tells Hook that Emma will never like him because he’s nothing but a pirate. Hook’s smirk falters a bit at that. Later on, while the women are constructing a trap to catch a Lost Boy, Hook watches Emma and drinks his rum. Killian tells them that the Lost Boys aren’t going to give up Pan, but Mary Margaret doesn’t want to hear it. She sends David to get more vines and he drags Hook along with him. Killian gets defensive, but the moment Emma tells him to go he does. David once again tells Hook to stay away from Emma and Killian tells him she’s a grown woman who doesn’t need his parenting, so it’s a good thing he’s about to die. David mentions that at least he’s going to die saving his family, which is something Hook knows nothing about, which of course makes him think of his brother, so he tells David there may be a way to save him. David thinks it would be selfish to try and save his own life over saving Henry’s, and Hook gets pissed because he’s risking his own life to help them because he’s going against Pan. David says Hook’s only there for Emma. True, but it’s still a big risk to his own safety. David once again says he’ll see to it that Hook doesn’t get Emma, and Hook quips it’s a good thing he’s about to die, so David tries to hit him, but passes out in the process. Hook tries forcing rum down David’s throat to wake him up (it works) and David is anything but grateful. Hook insists on seeing how far the poison has gotten, and when David reveals his chest, Hook realizes he only has hours left. He again asks David to tell his family, but David says he wants to help save Henry with what little time he has left. David happens to find Liam’s military insignia in the dirt which makes Hook tell David it belonged to his brother (see David, he knows what it’s like to have family). Hook makes up a story about his brother losing it when Liam had a duel with Pan up on Dead Man’s Peak and it had been attached to his satchel which had a sextant in it that could decode Bae’s star map. David eats this up, and Hook does a hell of a good job lying through his teeth so he can get David up there to save his life. He even makes it seem like it’s all David’s idea for him to go with him to get it. When they tell the ladies, Emma wants all them to go, but Hook is insistent that they find Henry so he doesn’t lose hope. David tells Hook that he’ll tell his family he died a hero instead of already leaving a dead man, and he’ll do it because if Hook hadn’t stolen the bean during And Straight on Til Morning, Henry wouldn’t have been kidnapped, so it’s kind of all his fault. Good point. Hook agrees with this assessment. They briefly bond over their deceased brothers (and how similar they are to one another), and then Hook goes on ahead up the peak. He will throw the rope down to David once he gets up there. Pan is waiting for him at the top. He wants Hook to come back and work for him again. Hook refuses. Pan sweetens the pot by saying he’ll let Hook off the island with Emma. He’ll know if Hook took his deal by killing David. Hook wonders what happens if he doesn’t take the deal and Pan reminds him what happened the last time he didn’t listen to him (if he means Liam dying, technically Killian did listen, it was Liam who didn’t). David comes over the ledge at that point, apparently having the strength to climb up the mountain without the assistance of the vines Hook was going to throw down for him. David goes on ahead and Hook seems to be contemplating taking Pan’s deal. At the top of the peak, David draws his sword on Hook and pushes him toward the Dreamshade brambles. He heard the deal Pan offered him and he doesn’t trust Hook to not kill him. Hook reveals that he lied about the sextant and the insignia. David doesn’t understand why he’d do that. David thinks Hook brought him there to die, but Hook says he’s trying to save his life. David tries to attack Hook, but Hook punches him and knocks him out. He cuts through the Dreamshade bushes and gets the water that he needs. His expression when he comes out and notices that he didn’t get cut by the Dreamshade at all is priceless. There’s a reason for all that leather. Hook wakes David up and tells him the water will save his life. David is stunned that that is why Hook brought him up there and Hook is very sincere when he tells him he wants to save his life. Hook tells him about the price, that he can never leave Neverland once he’s drunk the water. David drinks it. David wonders why Hook helped him when he got nothing in return, but Hook tells him he didn’t do it for him and winks. That’s right, piss off the now fully healthy father now. When they get back to camp, David makes up a story about Hook saving him from Dreamshade when Lost Boys ambushed them. Hook looks very uncomfortable with the praise David is heaping on him. David toasts Hook and Hook almost has that same look on his face that he used to give Liam. Emma gives her praises, and he’s still uncomfortable, until she thanks him. And then sexy Hook comes out to play. He and Emma push each other until Emma finally grabs his collar and kisses the holy hell out of him. You can see Hook didn’t think this was ever going to happen. Emma is all forceful and Hook is just trying to figure out what to do with his hand and hook. It’s adorable and hot. Afterward, he looks completely wrecked, but Emma tells him it was a one time thing and tells him to wait a little bit before coming back to camp. He touches his lips and shakes his head as if he still can’t believe that actually happened. Aww. And then, of course, Pan has to come and ruin his afterglow. Hook thinks Emma’s finally seeing him as a man of honor, but Pan has a big secret that he wants to see what Hook will do about it. He tells him Neal is alive and in Neverland, and what’s Hook: Man of Honor, going to do with that secret when it could potentially get in the way of his budding romance with Emma. Hook looks like he just got scratched by Dreamshade.

Pan: In the past he doesn’t seem to be nearly as evil. He technically doesn’t do anything but tell Killian and Liam the truth. He warns them about the Dreamshade, tells them what it actually does, but Liam decides he’s smarter than a little boy (Pan looks around 13, he’s not that little, plus he lives on the island). He warns Killian that there will be a price to pay for saving Liam’s life, and like most people when dealing with magic, doesn’t ask what the price is before partaking of it. But Pan doesn’t play games with the Jones Brothers at all. It’s no wonder Killian decided to go back there after Milah’s death, he had no idea how ruthless Pan had become.

Currently, Pan is all about playing games. Henry is goaded into a wooden stick fight by one of the Lost Boys (Devon according to IMDB), and Pan thinks they’d have more fun if Henry had a real sword. So he gets Henry to imagine it’s real, and it becomes real. Pan actually looks impressed. Pan cheers Henry on to fight against Devon (even though he still has a spear), and when Henry hurts Devon and apologizes, Pan tells him Lost Boys don’t need to say they’re sorry (so basic decency goes right out the window when becoming a Lost Boy, got it). He encourages the Lost Boys to cheer for Henry for slicing up Devon’s face. Okay. We next see Pan trying to get Hook to work for him again at the top of Dead Man’s Peak. Hook doesn’t want to work for him again. Pan is suddenly in front of Hook and says he’ll offer his passage off the island and he can take Emma with him. Hook is pretty sure Emma wouldn’t leave Henry, but Pan says she’s done it before. Hook claims he’s not interested, but Pan says they’ve known each other a long time, and he knows Hook is a survivor. Pan wants him to do his dirty work for him. He won’t take Hook’s word though, he wants action, he wants Hook to take his hook and run it through David when they get to the top of Dead Man’s Peak. Hook wants to know what happens if he doesn’t take his offer and Pan reminds him of the last time he didn’t listen to him, then disappears when David appears. Pan comes to Hook again after the kiss with Emma, telling him he should have taken his deal. Hook thinks Emma sees him for who he really is now, but Pan reminds him that he’s just a one-handed pirate with a drinking problem. Pan let’s Hook know that Neal is still alive and in Neverland. He takes great pleasure in reminding Hook that Neal is the man that Emma actually loves. He clearly thinks that Hook will keep this information to himself so he can win Emma’s heart.

David: Ok, I get that David is dying, but he’s also being a huge ass and pain in the ass in this episode. Seriously, Hook is showing actual concern about him not telling his family, and all David can do is tell him to stay away from his daughter. David, your daughter is a grown-ass woman with an 11-year-old son, who has slayed a dragon and broken a curse, I think she can decide who the hell she wants to kiss/date/fuck/hang out with all on her own. Calm the fuck down. Anyway, Hook wants David to tell his family about his whole dying thing, but David thinks it’s selfish to think about himself when Henry still needs rescuing (because they’ll just toss your body aside and not care when you die?).  David tells Hook he’s coming with him to get more vines for the trap they’re building. He only goes when Emma tells him to. David has that annoyed look on his face again. They argue again about Emma, which ends with David trying to punch Hook, but passing out from the exertion. David wakes up to Hook pouring rum in his mouth, something he’s not happy about. David shows Hook how close the Dreamshade is to his chest and Hook tells him it will kill him when it reaches his heart. Hook tells him he has hours left. David finds Liam’s insignia on the ground and Killian spins a yarn about his brother fighting a duel with Pan at the top of Dead Man’s Peak. This piques David’s interest, especially when Hook reveals there Liam’s sextant could still possibly be up there, and that could get them off the island. David decides they need to find the sextant, and even if he dies on the journey, Hook can get it back to Emma, so they can get off the island. He even tells Hook he’ll be a hero, which I guess David thinks Hook wants to be. The men head off (but not before David gives Emma a big heartfelt hug and gives Mary Margaret a long good-bye kiss). David does try to soften the blow to Mary Margaret by saying they don’t know what could happen on the journey to and from Dead Man’s Peak, but Mary Margaret knows he’ll be alright. David tells Hook to tell Mary Margaret and Emma that he died a hero, and not that he was stupid and didn’t tell them he’d been dying of Dreamshade poisoning for the last few days.  Hook wonders why he should do that, and David calls him out for stealing the bean in the first place that could have avoided this whole Neverland mess in the first place. Hook tells him at least he got to say good-bye and David realizes that Hook has lost someone. Hook deflects so David tells him about James and they both agree they are very similar to their brothers. Hook goes to the top of Dead Man’s Peak and tells David to wait until he throws the rope down for him, but apparently his conversation with Pan ran too long and David decided to climb up on his own. Right. Once they get to the Dreamshade, David pulls his sword on Hook because he heard his conversation with Pan. He just wants to get the sextant and get out of there. He looks absolutely betrayed when Hook tells him he made up the story about the sextant. David thinks Hook brought him there to die. Hook tells him he brought him there to save his life. David tries to punch Hook but Hook punches him. Hook awakens him after getting the spring water. David now has Dreamshade climbing up his face. Hook tells him about the price of the water, but David thinks it’s worth it to save his grandson. The Dreamshade recedes and his bruises heal when he drinks the water. When David gets back to camp he immediately pulls Mary Margaret into a passionate kiss. He heralds the women with Hook’s ‘heroics’ in saving his life against the Lost Boys, and toasts him for being a hero.

Emma/Mary Margaret/Regina: Emma and Hook find tally marks by Bae’s bed. Mary Margaret thinks the tallies stop because he got off the island, but Emma thinks it’s because he lost hope of ever getting off the island, Regina, is obnoxious as usual about Emma’s inference, but Emma says that’s how she felt every time she was moved to another foster home (she kept count how long she was there and gave up hope of staying? leaving?) Emma feels that Henry is losing hope. Her parents try to convince her that they’re doing everything to save Henry, but Emma points out that Henry doesn’t know that. He doesn’t even know they’re there trying to save him. Regina wants to know how they’re going to send him a message. That gives Mary Margaret an idea. Hook tells Emma he understands losing hope, but she thinks he’s trying to bond with her and she doesn’t have time for that. Mary Margaret’s plan is to trap a Lost Boy to get a message to Henry. Mary Margaret and Emma are threading vines together. Emma is secretly watching Hook (though she’s not really being discreet at all), and when she tells Hook to help David find more vines, Mary Margaret definitely gives Emma a questioning look, like she’s wondering what’s happening between Emma and Hook. Hook tells them about the sextant when they get back and Emma wants to go get it. Hook convinces her to stay and finish the trap for the Lost Boy, because Henry is relying on them, while he and David go get it. Both Emma and Mary Margaret notice something is off with David when he hugs and kisses them good-bye, but Emma is more focused on Henry and Mary Margaret just doesn’t think anything more bad can happen to them, so she tells David she’ll see him when he gets back with the sextant. The women lie in wait until Devon comes in trying to catch a wild pig. He gets caught in Mary Margaret’s net instead. They try to appeal to him as mothers (and with chocolate, because teenage boys will apparently do anything for chocolate, Regina?), promising they’ll take him away from Pan and back to his home. Devon informs them that the reason they’re all there is because they don’t want to go home. Emma points out the slash on his face, but Devon informs them that Henry did that. Emma looks pissed and Regina looks shocked. Devon keeps blathering on about Henry becoming a Lost Boy and a vicious one at that. Emma is pretty much strangling him at this point until Mary Margaret grabs her off of him. Regina wants to rip Devon’s heart out so they can get the message to Henry that way, but Mary Margaret is against it. She figures there must be a more humane way to get their message to Henry. Emma agrees with Regina and holds Mary Margaret back so Regina can take Devon’s heart. Emma keeps apologizing to Mary Margaret but still thinks it was the only way. Mary Margaret wants to make sure Emma doesn’t cross the line into Regina territory. Emma will do whatever it takes to get Henry home. Mary Margaret says that saving Henry can’t cost them their family. If they don’t save him won’t it break their family apart as well? Regina breaks apart a compact mirror and tells them they’ll be able to talk to Henry through it. Devon delivers the mirror and they all tell Henry they’re there to rescue him. He thinks it’s a trick at first, but when Emma calls it Operation Cobra Rescue, he believes them. Unfortunately, Pan is coming, so he breaks the mirror. Emma, Mary Margaret, and Regina are relieved and happy to have talked to Henry. Mary Margaret wonders if Henry is okay. Emma is convinced that now that he’s seen them he won’t lose hope and they’ll be able to rescue him. Mary Margaret apologizes for doubting Emma. She didn’t want Emma to give into darkness. Regina reminds her that Emma didn’t, she pulled Devon’s heart and that’s why she’s there. To do the dark things Emma and Mary Margaret won’t do. David and Hook come back and Mary Margaret is surprised by the kiss he plants on her. Both Emma and Regina are very uncomfortable with the kiss. It’s hilarious. David explains that Hook saved his life, they toast him, and then Emma thanks Hook. He turns on the charm and Emma tells him he couldn’t handle her; he pushes back that she couldn’t handle him, so she plants a big kiss on him. She clearly wants more, but pulls away, because Emma has walls. Emma says it’s a one time thing. She tells him to get firewood before coming back. He says ‘As You Wish’ and Emma smiles because everyone in our realm knows what that line means, even if Hook doesn’t. It’s a sweet little coda to their kiss.

Henry: He uses his imagination to turn a piece of wood into a real sword and then accidentally slices Devon’s face. He immediately apologizes, but Pan tries to convince him that Lost Boys don’t need to apologize for anything. Henry is forlornly drawing a house in the dirt with his sword. Poor kid is obviously homesick.  Devon comes by with the message from Regina.  He pushes him backward away from the camp, ruining the picture Henry just drew. Henry doesn’t believe him. He thinks he’s making it up to get back at him for slicing his face. Eventually, Devon gives him the compact half and Henry believes!

Questions:

Why is everyone so adamant about Henry losing hope? Isn’t he the biggest believer there is? He never gave up hope that Emma would break the curse. He never gave up hope that Emma and Mary Margaret would make it back from the Enchanted Forest. Why would he suddenly give up hope after being in Neverland for less than a week?

Who in the Jones’ kingdom has been to Neverland before and has been there so often that there are star charts, a sextant, and a picture of Dreamshade for the Jones brothers to use?

When did Hook ‘drop’ the insignia for David to find? When he was passed out?

How can Emma get the Lost Boys home? Most of their families are probably dead depending on how long they’ve been there.

Dead Man’s Peak looks like a strenuous hike. How the hell did David make it up there without dying first when he could barely take a punch at Hook without passing out?

How is Killian using the sextant while in the air? He can’t see the horizon from above the clouds.

Why are only two people, out of the entire crew, going to look for the plant on the island?

Is it customary to automatically draw swords and question (and distrust) locals when you’re a stranger on their island?

What dirty work could Pan possibly have off the island?

Why does Liam immediately pass out after he scratches himself with the Dreamshade whereas it’s taken David a few days to get weaker? Is it because Liam was infected right from the source and David’s wound came from an arrow dipped in the poison? And Gold took a few days before he almost died, and that was supposed to be a concentrated dose.

Do the Jones’ Brothers live in a kingdom or a realm, because Killian mentions hoping the realm sides with them when Liam wants to expose the king?

Why isn’t Emma’s super powers working on David’s bullshit story?

How far away are they from land when the ship landed in the water? They seem to have plenty of time to sew Liam into a burial shroud, which with the intricacy of that stitching, would probably take a few hours.

Seriously, where does Pan get all his information? How does he know Emma still loves Neal?

Observations:

There are 471 slash marks by Bae’s bed. They have 6 tallies then a slash, most likely representing days in a week. I counted 67 groupings (but the ones under the bed are smudged, so there could be more). This puts Bae giving up hope after about a year and a little over 3 months (going by our calendar system). I’m assuming that he went back to the Lost Boys once he lost hope, but it doesn’t explain the coconut star map. I would think he stopped counting because he escaped. Otherwise it means he didn’t use the star map to escape.

It’s great that Regina is able to keep her lipstick so fresh. 

Pan blinks in and out of places just like Rumplestiltskin does. He doesn’t poof with smoke like Regina and Cora do.

Whomever the Jones’ brother’s kingdom is fighting is another race completely.

Poor Killian. Both Liam and Milah died in his arms.

Firsts:

Emma kissing Hook (sorry, spoiler)

Names:

Liam - Is the Irish short form of William, keeping in with Killian’s name which is also Irish.

So Henry believes he’ll be rescued. Emma kissed Hook! David is no longer on death’s door, but he can’t leave the island. Wonder how Mary Margaret will react to that little piece of news. Hook now knows that Neal is alive. And Neal is trapped in a box, and there is another mysterious box next to his.

Please leave comments and reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future reviews.

@searchingwardrobes​​​ @thisonesatellite​​ @justbecauseyoubelievesomething​​​ @laschatzi​​​ @profdanglaisstuff​​​ @mariakov81​​​ @lfh1226-linda​

[doc-pickles]

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p.2)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

Saturday 12:09 PM

you know what might be worse than pyramid schemes?

bridal showers

this is horrendous 

Same woman you were drinking in solidarity to?

obviously, I have like four friends 

I thought teachers were like outgoing and bubbly?

oh hell no, socializing is not my cup of tea

one of the other bridesmaids just asked who i was texting so I told her jack the ripper

Oh you couldn’t even give me a good one

i’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that 

My day off and the weekend finally coincide, which means I’m not leaving my couch all day. 

I wish I were you this shower is gonna kill me 

teachers on the weekend are a fun sight to see

You’re not partaking this time?

no i’m DD

it’s for the best, I did throw up on my shoes last weekend 

How crazy is a bridal shower that you need a DD?

there’s a mimosa bar and they’re already playing never have I ever

the mother of the groom is starting something with the mother of the bride

I gotta deal with this 

  Saturday 3:11 PM

I deserve bottle of wine for all of the shit I dealt with today

I never wanna be a maid of honor ever again

Maybe we should rename you Maid of Dishonor?

wooooooow

I throw up on my shoes ONE TIME

How’d the battle of the mothers go?

oh it was horrendous 

groom is from a rich family and bride grew up on a farm… you know how it goes 

Doesn’t sound fun. Glad you made it out. 

barely

how’s your day off going

Amazing. I get to watch baseball and sit on the couch with a bag of chips and a beer. I’m living the dream. 

I envy you

they’re making us go out again

Do you get to drink during this escapade?

yes thank god

manhattan or moscow mule?

A whiskey drinker? You might be the perfect woman. 

don’t try to butter me up, i’ve never even met you in person

We can change that. 

  Saturday 6:14 PM

Do you think birds have dreams?

I thought I was supposed to get drunk

You were talking too long. And I’m not drunk. 

I can’t think of another reason why you’d ask me about bird dreams

You’re a teacher. I was curios. 

i’m not a bird specialist

personally I do not think that birds can dream

I’m telling them you said that. 

the birds?

Yes. They deserve to know the truth. 

have you just been sitting on the couch drinking beer all day?

did you even eat

Yeah I had pizza for lunch 

what about dinner?

It’s not dinner time yet. 

dude it’s 6

Oh shit really?

Hahaha that explains it 

psh and you said I was bad when I was drunk

you’re freaking Snow White 

Is this ebcause I asked about the birds 

yes it is

I gotta go, Maggie says i’m not netting the quota for fun

Maggie sounds like a buzzkill

she’s the assistant principal, i’m scared she’ll fire me if I don’t listen

jk… kinda 

  Saturday 12:32 AM

Incoming Voice Call

  “Jo! Put the phone down! You should not be calling anyone right now!”

“Hello?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn! I’m so glad you picked up.”

“Are you drunk now?”

“Noooo….. maybe. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi princess.”

“Your voice is nice. It’s a good voice, it’s sexy and I like it.”

“You’re kinda crazy, you know that?”

“Josephine Wilson! Give me the phone!”

“Woah who full named you? They sound angry.”

“That’s Maggie, she’s trying to get me to go home. I can’t go home Maggie, I’m talking to a hot doctor! And he has a sexy voice!”

“You’ve never even seen me, you don’t know if I’m hot.”

“I’m judging off your sexy voice and what few characteristics I know about you. I’d be shocked if you weren’t hot.”

“You have too much faith in me.”

“I have to go, Maggie is dragging me out of the bar. Byeeee hot doctor!”

“Goodnight princess, don’t throw up on your shoes this time.” 

  Sunday 9:58 AM

How’re your shoes looking?

  Sunday 11:22 AM

You’re still dead? I mean you did call me half past midnight… but I thought you’d be up by now.

  Sunday 1:46 PM

Are you embarrassed because of what you said on the phone? Frankly I found it endearing. 

  Sunday 3:18 PM

As a doctor, I’m advising you to drink more fluids and get food in your system. Maybe a banana. It’ll make you feel less shitty, trust me.

  Sunday 6:17 PM

Hope you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere. 

  Monday 7:23 AM

oh my god I am so sorry

I dropped my phone in Maggie’s car and I just got it back

wait you were worried about me weren’t you

Well you fell off the face of the earth… so yeah. 

awwww well it’s nice to know that someone would notice if I was kidnapped and murdered 

Didn’t you say I was the one that would kidnap and murder you? 

yes but i’m having a change of heart

Is it because of my sexy voice?

I was kinda hoping I didn’t say that out loud

whoops

I told you I found it endearing. 

flattery will get you everywhere

gotta go, class is lining up and they’re already screaming

I’ll pray for you. 

  Monday 8:08 PM

dude the thai place on 7th across from old navy?

amazing

i’m in heaven

Oh so we’ve reached the stage of giving each other food recommendations?

obviously 

this is a serious relationship 

Chinese place across from Joe’s Bar has the best egg rolls. Perfect drunchies. 

i’ve never been to joe’s 

I live right around the corner from there

So we’re neighbors then? I’m off of Fullerton. 

I guess we are

that’s exciting, i bet i’ve seen you at the grocery store 

Bold of you to assume I make it to the grocery store. 

honestly same

I usually guilt steph or izzie into it

You’re the chaotic good of the group aren’t you?

obviously 

I keep things balanced 

what’re you doing?

On a break, almost done for the night. I have to round on post ops and then I’m done. 

nice!!! did you get anything fun today?

Not really just surgeries I could do in my sleep. 

typical monday’s

I have to go, we have a field trip tomorrow and i’m not emotionally prepared

Oof. Have fun, don’t die. 

who the hell ends texts like that?

A doctor. Obviously. Night princess. 

goodnight Snow White

  Tuesday 12:18 PM

whoever decided to bring 42 fourth graders to the science discovery museum should be fired 

Isn’t that you?

maybe

maybe not

It was totally you. How about a deal?

deal with an internet stranger? 

fine but if I die i’m gonna be pissed

How about I drop off a bottle of wine on your porch on my way to work? I work the night shift again. 

hmmmm I don’t think i’m supposed to give my address to strangers

but i’m pretty sure if you were going to kill me you would’ve done it by now

See you’re getting the hang of it. 

okay i’ll give you my address

but if there’s a bomb we’re going to have words

If there’s a bomb you’ll be dead. 

  Tuesday 4:54 PM

red wine AND egg rolls?

if I didn’t know better i’d think you’re trying to woo me

I think I need to meet you before we can say that. 

thank you!!! 

my roomies are teasing me about taking wine from a stranger

You’re welcome. And I’m not a stranger. I know your name and where you live. 

aaaaand way to make things creepy

BTW your blonde roommate was checking out my ass. 

hahahahaha that’s izzie for you

she has a boyfriend don’t worry 

I wasn’t too concerned about her, just thought you might want to beat her up or something. 

intentionally trying to start a cat fight? classy

she says you’re “super dreamy” so that’s a plus

Glad to know I passed the checkpoint. Does this mean I get to meet you now?

maybe maybe not

we have learned one good thing though

And what’s that?

even if you are a serial killer, you have a good taste in wine and your attractive

i’ll die happy

  Tuesday 7:32 AM

If I never work another overnight again it’ll be too soon. 

yeah you’ve been working a lot of those 

wtf is up with that

I lost a bet with Arizona. 

oof that doesn’t sound fun

at least I have nice stable working hours

summers off

i’m living the dream

Why do you do that?

do what?

Send forty texts. There’s a button to put in a period and start a new sentence. In the same text. 

you really do text like a 60 year old

I’m sophisticated, obviously. 

I know we’ve never met but I need a favor

Oof. After I dropped off wine for you?

the favor includes free food and alcohol

I’m listening… 

that wedding i’m in is next weekend

and I don’t have a date :-)

I wish I could, I’m going out of town. 

booooo

it’s okay, after i’m done being a brides bitch my weekend will open up

i’ll also be done with school for year

So I can take you out on a proper date? Instead of texting you all day? 

you do realize that you’re texting a girl who found your number at 11 pm while shit faced in a bar right

That’s always how I pictured meeting the woman of my dreams. 

oh shut up

I suppose i’ll go on a date with you, man I know nothing about 

I’m Alex, I’m 27 and I don’t think pineapple belongs on pizza

deal breaker sorry

pineapple + pizza = deliciousness 

Well at least you know more about me. 

that I do

jo, 25, who’s favorite color is purple and eats cinnamon toast for breakfast everyday, has to go educate the tiny humans

talk to you later old man

Oh come on you’re two years younger!

  Tuesday 1:26 PM

have you ever had to hot glue rhinestones to candle votives 

because I am

and I hate it

WTF is a votive?

those tiny little glass things you put a candle into

Oh. Why are you bedazzling them? 

wedding prep

today is a half day so bridezilla has us crafting for her 

Are all of you brides bitches teachers?

yes

it’s hell

you try to talk about your class and all you hear about is peonies and roses and baby’s breath

I’m glad I’m a dude then. 

ha! you better be 

oh my god, she’s gone psycho

if I don’t text she took my phone

Don’t die, I’m looking forward to our date. 

  Tuesday 7:17 PM

RIP Jo, Avid Cinnamon Toast Eater 

Killed by Her Insane Bride Friend  

I made it out!!!!

barely

Nice, I’ve heard a rabid bridezilla is hard to escape. 

it was the worst 

but she let me go when I told her I had to finish putting in grades for the year

(I finished last night)

I for one am proud of you. That’s badass. 

lol i’ll keep that in mind 

thursday is our last day before freedom

I think I might get shit faced as soon as I leave work

I support it wholeheartedly. 

good because you’ll probably get more bar princess texts

Or if I’m lucky a phone call where you call me sexy again. 

hey hey I didn’t call you sexy

I called your voice sexy

there’s a difference 

Oh sorry, I don’t know how I overlooked that. 

mhm sure 

tomorrow is crazy hair day 

Does this mean I get to see a picture of you? Because I’m definitely interested in seeing what you do with this spirit day thing. 

i’ll save it for when we meet

I’m determined not to see you until our date

Suit yourself. Gotta go remove stitches. 

oooohh how exhilarating!! 

  Wednesday 9:42 AM

How goes the crazy hair?

oh just dandy 

half my hair is pink 

You seem like the type to be able to pull of pink hair. Plus it’s pretty rad. 

you’re too kind 

I bribed the kids with cookies and a movie 

i’m totally winning today

I just took out an appendix, I think I win. 

just saying I don’t think that our jobs are comparable 

but taking out an appendix sounds cool

Not as cool as cookies though. 

I have a bunch left over

should I drop them on your doorstep? 

Only if you want to. I wouldn’t say no to a good cookie. I’m here till 5. 

i’ll stop by after work!! 

we have another half day

Sweet. I’m glad you’re the one that found my number. 

  Wednesday 12:56 PM

Dude. George says you look like an adorable preschooler. 

I FORGOT I HAD MY HAIR LIKE THIS

he was very understanding 

Rave reviews on your “kindness and beautiful eyes” 

oh my god 

I have to die now 

He might’ve mentioned your ass too. I’m painting a beautiful mental picture. 

oh lord

brb gotta wash out this stupid hair dye 

maybe bang my head against the shower wall

Oooh tell me more. I love a dirty shower fantasy. 

oh booo

you’re not even trying anymore 

  Wednesday 5:55 PM

remember the titans is on tv

and it’s really good 

in case you didn’t know 

That movie is 20 years old, of course I know it’s good. 

well clearly I didn’t 

i didn’t have cable growing up 

Oh neither did I, I just stole it from the neighbors. 

that’s pretty bad ass for a kid 

Had to keep my siblings entertained. You know how it is. 

nope i’m an only child

That sounds like a dream. I have two younger siblings and they’re both a pain in the ass. 

if you knew the half of it you’d be begging to trade places with me 

I’m looking forward to hearing all of it. 

  Thursday 11:53 AM

FREEDOM!!!!!!

I AM FREE!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

I’m assuming school is out?

Y E S

$20 says I can sneak out of here without bridezilla roping me into a stupid arts and crafts project 

I hope so, I’m enjoying talking to you today. 

aren’t you at work??

Nope. Today is my day off. 

and you’re not watching baseball and drinking beer?

It’s not even noon yet. 

time is an illusion

it’s shots o clock somewhere or whatever they say

I’m now learning that the only cultural education you have is the Backstreet Boys. I think our second date will have to be a movie marathon. 

already planning our second date?

ambitious 

I like it

My conversation is fairly limited if I can’t drop a pop culture reference or two during the day. 

I can see your points and i’m willing to sit myself down and watch the classics

okay gotta sneak past bridezilla… wish me luck

Good luck 

  Thursday 4:35 PM

Pork shoulder, corn, and potatoes all on the grill. 

i’m jealous

I can’t cook to save my life 

thank god we’re going out tonight

To celebrate finally breaking free for the summer?

exactly!! steph and izzie decided we needed to go to a club after dinner

i’ve never been to one before 

Overpriced drinks and random guys grinding up on you all night. Not the best experience. 

oh so random guys grind on you when you go out?

Shut up. 

hahahaha 

I’ve never even been to a club before. Not my scene. I just live with women so I know these things. 

well i’ll update you on the happenings

let you know if I have to pay $20 for a drink

who’s grinding on my ass

you know normal everyday things

Woah woah woah. 

what??

are you jealous??

I’m just saying if you’re gonna be shaking your ass, you might as well get random guys to buy you overpriced drinks. 

you’re making some very good points 

Of course I am. By the way, George wants me to tell you that you have a very shakeable ass so you should be taking in free drinks. 

great I have to go die again 

brb gonna drOWN MYSELF IN THE SHOWER 

  Thursday 10:38 PM

good news

i’ve secured three free drinks and a round of shots for all six of us

this ass is making money baby

I’ve created a monster. Who else is there?

steph, izzie, april, maggie, and levi

You brought the whole staff out didn’t you?

yes and I’m quite skilled at getting them drunk

You’re three drinks in and still texting correctly?

I think I danced it all off

need more fireball

And that’s another thing. Who willingly shoots Fireball?

me bitch

Ohh I love it when you call me names. 

mmm i’m sure you do

okay i’m gonna go get more drinks

wish me luck

Good luck, I’m sure your ass will take in more than enough. 

  Thursday 11:57 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Helloo?”

“Hi, it’s me.”

“I can afford caller ID, I knew it was you.”

“Were you sleeping?”

“No, I was about to head upstairs but I’m not tired.”

“Oh good. I just got home.”

“You sound tired. Did you have fun?”

“It was nice, Steph went home with some guy she met and Izzie went to her boyfriends so I’m home alone.”

“So you decided to call me?”

“I missed your voice, I told you that you have a nice voice.”

“You said that I have a sexy voice.”

“Oh shut up. I wanted to call before I went to sleep.”

“You’ve grown fond of me haven't you?”

“If you’re gonna say it like a weirdo then yes… I have grown fond of you, Snow White.”

“I guess I can say the same about you Bar Princess. Are you yawning over there?”

“Just a little bit, but I like talking to you.”

“It’s midnight, I wouldn’t blame you for falling asleep.”

“I don’t wanna fall asleep, I wanna keep talking to you.”

“How about I tell you the story of the time I was bridesman and I had to go to a bachelorette party?”

“Okay I’m listening…”

  Friday 10:15 AM

I feel like a teenager 

who the hell falls asleep on the phone

i’m in a bad rom com aren't I 

Your snoring is really cute. 

oh christ

well at least I didn’t take body shots off a male stripper

I was really hoping you’d be asleep before I got to that part. 

oh nooo I remember that very clearly 

i’ll be filing that away for blackmail

Rude. I guess I’ll save your snoring in that file too. 

touché, I like the way you play the game

I’m an experienced player. Gotta go scrub in on a fundoplication. 

have fun!!!

  Friday 2:41 PM

I got bored and googled a fundoplication

that’s some crazy stuff, you’re kind of a badass

Easy peasy, all in a day's work. 

nooo that’s amazing stuff!! 

i’m in my classroom scraping gum and glitter off of the desks

Well you’re the reason people become doctors so I'd say you’re pretty important too. 

awww you’re still trying to impress me

it’s a good look on you

I’m trying to be a gentleman. Maybe I’ll bring up your puke shoes just to be an asshole. 

you know what even the mention of that can’t bring down my good mood

do you think I could get in trouble for drinking wine in my classroom?

Well there’s no kids around so… no. But I like the rebellious attitude you have towards the situation. 

if i’m gonna sit in a classroom with no AC and scrape boogers off desks all day then I deserve some damn wine

You’re right and you should say it. 

I DESERVE MY WINE I EARNED IT

oh shit maggie is outside i’m so fired

Hey you got her free shots last night, she should be thankful. 

you know what you’re right

oh shit it’s bridezilla

Run.

whew

forgot we have our final dress fitting tomorrow

i’m not dead yet

Oh good. I kinda don’t want the first time I see you to be your funeral. 

hahaha very funny

gotta go, we have to do this stupid year end meeting

I hate it here

Have fun, and remember don’t stab yourself with a pen!

  Saturday 8:13 AM

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

I wanna die 

bridezilla is making us jog

and she took away my donuts

  Saturday 9:53 AM

Jesus Christ. You need new friends. 

honestly she’s not that bad when she’s not stressing over this wedding 

she’s crying because she has a pimple

Oof that’s a tough run. Unfortunately, I have to spend the day out on a boat. 

boohoo I don’t not feel bad for you

unless like… you have some childhood trauma from a boat

Nope. I get to relax and drink beer all day long. 

yeah well then screw you

I have to try my stupid dress on and go to a stupid lunch and I CAN’T EVEN HAVE DONUTS

Aren’t you at home?

yes, steph invited everyone here since we have the space

why?

Check your porch. 

YOU BROUGHT ME DONUTS?! 

you’re my favorite

thank you thank you thank you 

You’re welcome, I’m happy to be of service. 

ohhhh I might just kiss you when we finally meet 

I wouldn’t say no to that. 

okay I gotta go hide in the closet and eat my donuts 

thank you for thinking of me!!

It’s all I ever do. 

  Saturday 2:16 PM

How goes the dress trying on?

it was good!! mine fits and we have a beautiful bride on our hands 

Good. I’m glad your day is getting better. I think I’m getting a sunburn. 

you better not

that shit is dangerous 

go find sunscreen 

Now you’re concerned about me huh?

always

did you put the sunscreen on

Yes because I knew you’d spontaneously implode if I didn’t. 

good 

I didn’t want to you to burst into flames sitting in the sun

As a doctor, I can tell you that most likely would not be what happened.

now we have to sit through a boring ass lunch

it’s what the mother of the groom insists on

Is she paying for it though? …. yes

Well then stop complaining.

okay okay fine

hey quick question

which fork do i stab myself with

Go order a steak and drink an expensive glass of wine.

  Saturday 10:39 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Well well well, how the tables have turned.” “Bar Priiiiiincessss.” “Oh my god. This is so going in the blackmail file.”

“No don’t do that. If Jo finds out I was singing to another girl she’ll be mad.” “And why don’t you want Jo to be mad at you?” “Because I want to kiss her. And hug her. And see her face.”

“Well do I have a surprise for you.” “Oh I love surprises!”

“Jo and Bar Princess are the same person. I’m Jo.” “Holy crap! NO way!”

“Yes way, isn’t that crazy?”

“Can you tell Jo that she’s the nicest person I’ve ever met.” “I will relay the message. Jo is going to bed now though. Goodnight Alex.” “Good night Bar Princess, I miss you!”

[brideofedoras]

Soulbound: Almost Human

Disclaimer: I do not own Almost Human or the characters, only my OCs...  

Word Count: 2900+

Rating: 18 +

Warnings: Death and injuries, anxiety, asthma.  More warnings to be added in the future.

Chapter One

“Samuel Jacob Williams is… was… my hero,” she schooled her grimace as she stared down at the paper in her trembling hands.  For a moment the blue ink blurred out of focus, but three rapid blinks of her baby blue eyes cleared her vision.  “He was a wonderful husband and father, the best dad a girl could ever hope for, and he was a great detective.”  A slight wheeze rattled up her throat.  “He always knew he would die in the line of duty, more than once he would tell me he wouldn’t go down without a fight but he would be damned proud to give his life if it meant The City would be safe for another day.

“He spoke often of his old partner and the rookies he’d break in, the fresh new detectives he trained.  They were more than coworkers, fellow cops and detectives, they were his other family.  His brothers and sisters in blue.  I grew up hearing many funny stories about the job, and as I got older he opened up about the harder cases.  Losing Eddie Kennex had been one of the hardest moments for him, Eddie lost his life shortly after Mom lost her battle with cancer.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night to hear him drunk and arguing with Sandy and two other detectives as they dragged him into the house and to his bedroom.  It took him a week before he could open up about Eddie, and another week before he could face his coworkers and Eddie’s son.”  Her eyes blurred again.  She blinked them several times to clear them, gripping the podium with her free hand to ground herself as she realized it was her anxiety rearing its ugly head.  “He made me promise not to follow in his footsteps as a cop, and I reminded him that I preferred to tinker with the guts of an android or a computer.  I’ll help keep the city safe by keeping the MXes in tiptop condition.”

Her ears perked up when she heard someone seated behind Sandy mutter something that sounded like “Kennex”.   She looked up just in time to catch the look that crossed her godmother’s face.

Sandy shook her head, indicating for her to continue.  

“Daddy was proud of every one of you,” she went on, only to stop when she noticed several of the cops were whispering to one another.  She caught “Kennex” and “setup” and “he never should’ve been leading that raid”.

Anger flooded through her, white hot.  The hand holding the paper her notes were written on clenched.  “We are here to remember a detective, not trash talk a fellow cop,” she snapped.  “Daddy spoke highly of John Kennex!  He spoke more about John and Martin Pelham, Eddie and Sandy than he ever spoke about anyone else!  He would be ashamed that you guys are on a witch hunt at a memorial service for a fallen detective!”  She wadded up her paper and threw it aside.  “This is the hardest thing I have to do today, saying goodbye to my father, the only blood family I have left!  And you’re talking crap on a man who is in a coma in the hospital, hanging on by a thread when his best friend and his mentor died!”  She looked out among the crowd of fifty men and women gathered in the chapel, taking in the shocked looks on their faces.  “Here I am, twenty-five years old and honoring the life and death of the most important person in my life and you all are acting like a bunch of immature assholes ganging up to beat the hell out of someone!”  She took a step back from the podium, pride filling her chest for standing up and speaking out in defense of someone who wasn’t there to defend himself.  “I hope you’re proud of yourselves for ruining what should have been a remembrance!”

Her chin wobbled.  Her eyes burned.  Her chest tightened.

Her vision blacked out.

Emily Williams zipped her backpack and set it on the table next to the teddy bear and the vase with a small bouquet of sunflowers and daisies.  

Her phone vibrated on the bed behind her.  Her eyes slid shut for a moment as she drew in a slow, deep breath before she picked up the device.  Seeing her godmother’s name she tapped answer.  “Hey, Sandy.”

“Hi, Sweetie,” Captain Sandra Maldonado’s voice sounded a tad frazzled.  “I can’t leave just yet to pick you up.  We had a lead come in a few moments ago.”

“On the ambush?”  She reached up with her free hand to rake her shoulder-length chocolate brown locks from her face.

“Not the ambush, but on a related case,” Sandy told her.  “It’ll be maybe half an hour before I can leave the precinct.  I know you’re ready to get the hell out of the hospital--”

“It’s fine, Sandy,” Emily couldn’t help the smile that teased her lips.  “I’m in no hurry to go… to go home.  I am ready to get out of this room.  I’ve already told one of the CNAs to just rename 418-B the Emily Rose Williams Room.”

Sandra laughed at that.  “They do keep admitting you to that particular room, don’t they?”

She shook her head.  “Yeah, they do.”

“Well…  Since you’ll be there for at least another hour, would you feel up to going upstairs to visit with John?  I’m not going to be able to visit with him tonight.  I’ve got a feeling I’m going to be here late working this lead.”

 “Sandy, I could always call a cab or one of my neighbors to come get me,” Emily offered, moving toward the window to look out at the street below.  “If this case is related to the raid I don’t want to pull you away from it.”

“I’m coming to get you, Emmie, I need to give my brain a break for a little while and check on John,” Sandy’s tone brooked no argument.  “I’ll be there  when I get there, we’ll grab lunch, and if you decide you want to stay somewhere else tonight you are more than welcome to go to my place.”

She couldn’t help but smile again.  There was no arguing with the redhead.  “All right.  I’ll go sit with Detective Kennex and wait for you.”

“Any place in particular for lunch?”

“I’m not really hungry, but considering breakfast was turkey sausage and rubbery eggs, I’d settle for noodles,” she shrugged.

Sandra snorted.  “You and Kennex would get along famously, Kiddo.  He would live off noodles every day if he could get away with it.”

“With all that salt?”  Emily shuddered.  She loved Chinese noodle dishes, but every once in a while was enough for her.  They tasted too salty for her.  

“Yeah,” her godmother murmured.  “Will you need to stop anywhere else before I take you home?”

“I’ll call the pharmacy to deliver my prescriptions,” she answered.  

“Okay.  I’ll be there when I can.  Oh, and Emily?”

“Yeah, Sandy?”

“Talk to Kennex?  They say that a person in a coma can hear when someone speaks to them.  John could use another friendly voice.”

Emily nodded.  “What would I say?  I’ve never met him, Sandy.”

“Talk about your dad, or about yourself.  Tell him you’re applying for an internship with Rudy.  Those two butt heads a lot.”

“Sandy, you know I hate talking about myself!”

“John’s in a coma,” she reminded the younger woman.  “He needs to hear a friendly voice.  And even if he were awake, he wouldn’t tease or pick on you.  He’d probably flirt with you.”

“I doubt that, Sandy,” Emily turned away from the window.  

“Oh, he would, and he’s so terrible at it,” Sandra’s humor faded.  “John’s going to need all the support he can get.”

“I’ll do what I can, Sandy,” Emily agreed softly.  

“Okay,” her godmother murmured.  “I’ll see you when I get there.  Hopefully I can sneak out of here in thirty.”

“You’re the captain, you can do whatever you want,” she grinned, knowing full well what Sandra was going to say.

“I am, but I prefer to lead by example,” she laughed.  

They ended the call with a quiet see you later.

Emily slipped her phone into the back pocket of her distressed skinny jeans before she walked over to the chair near the bed to wait on the charge nurse to bring the discharge paperwork and doctor’s orders.

Fifteen minutes later she found herself standing in front of the private room Detective Kennex was in.  

“It’s good to see someone other than Captain Maldonado visiting the detective,” the CNA escorting her murmured.  

Emily looked at the blonde, eyes wide.  “No one else has been here?”

Sarah, she belatedly recalled the woman’s name, shook her head.  “Not a soul.  Does he not have any family or friends?”

“His dad died ten years ago,” her heart ached for the man.  “A few months after my mom passed away…  His mom…  I think my dad told me Detective Kennex’ mom passed away when he was in high school.  As for friends…  I honestly don’t know, I’ve never met him,” she confessed.  “He worked with Daddy, he’s close with Sandy.  He lost his entire team in that raid, and everyone else is working long hours trying to find the people responsible.”  She dragged her eyes from the frosted panel of the door to the CNA beside her.  “Sandy said he has a girlfriend.  She’s not been in?”

“He’s been here for thirteen days,” Sarah’s mouth twisted into a frown.  “The captain has been the only visitor.  And now you.”  She pressed a button on the panel beside the door.  “Come on, let me introduce you to our resident strong and silent detective.”

Emily followed the blonde into the room, her baby blue eyes sweeping the sterile space.  No flowers, no cards, no stuffed animals.  Just a framed photograph on the small dresser by the bed and a dragon figurine.  She set her bouquet and bear on the counter by the sink before slowly approaching the bed.

“Detective Kennex, you have a new visitor,” Sarah spoke in a cheerful voice as she gently adjusted the detective’s position and checked the leads and IVs.  She stepped back and motioned for Emily to come over. 

Emily shrugged her backpack from her shoulder and set it on the chair as she joined the CNA.  She looked at the blonde.  “I have no idea what to say to him,” she whispered.

Sarah smiled as she squeezed Emily’s shoulder.  “Basketball or hockey scores, the weather, maybe something you’ve tried recently that you absolutely love.  We talk to him every time we’re in here, hoping he’ll wake up and tell us to shut up.  A couple of us are keeping him up to date on our favorite soaps, even if he’s not a fan.”

She managed a smile at that.  “I don’t watch soaps or sports, I’m a grad student.”

“Then talk about your studies,” Sarah headed for the door.  “Thank you, Miss Wililams, for coming up here.”

She nodded before she slowly turned back to face the detective.  She reached out and took John’s left hand in her two cold hands.  A shiver of heat coursed through her from the feel of his limp, callused hand in hers.  She smiled shyly as she studied the healing bruises and cuts on his face, the scar on his chin.  “Um, hi, Detective Kennex, I’m Emily.  I hope you don’t mind me, someone you don’t know…  I…  I’m not exactly a stranger since you worked with my dad…  I hope it’s okay for me to come visit you while you’re in the hospital.  I’m waiting for my ride to pick me up and she wanted me to wait here for her.  She’s been visiting with you a lot, and I…  Nobody should be alone in the hospital.  If it weren’t for her, I....  I, uh,” she laughed nervously when she felt his hand squeeze hers.  His heart rate kicked up briefly on the monitor attached to the bed.  “I’m rambling, I’m sorry.  I’m, yeah…  You probably can’t even hear me since you’re in a coma, but I want you to know that I hope you have a quick recovery.”  She reached up with her right hand to comb her fingers through his dark hair.  She smiled when his brow furrowed slightly.  Was he ticklish?  Was he responding to her touch?  Or was it just a random tic totally unrelated to external stimuli?  

She quickly shrugged that thought off before reaching over to move her backpack off the chair.  She pulled it toward her and sat down.

“I just finished up my own hospital stay,” she said after wracking her brain for something else to say.  She frowned when her lungs grew tight and shifted to fish her inhaler out of her jeans pocket just in case her growing anxiety brought on an asthma attack.  “I have asthma,” she admitted with a twist of her lips.  “I’ve got it under control for the most part but it’s mostly triggered by anxiety attacks.  Three days ago was my dad’s memorial service.  Quite a few of the officers and detectives attending were being disrespectful of Daddy, being disrespectful to me, they were talking about you, blaming you for the… for the lives lost… and I lost my temper.  I stopped in the middle of the speech I’d prepared and ripped them a new one.  I cussed in a church,” she could laugh about it now.  Three days ago it had put her in the hospital.  “I was so caught up in my emotions I didn’t realize my anxiety had gotten the better of me.  One minute I was feeling proud for shutting them up, the next I’m waking up in the emergency room with an oxygen mask on my face and all kinds of monitors attached to me.”  She stopped herself from continuing, remembering that initial panic and ripping the mask and the leads from her chest before the nurse returning to the trauma room stopped her.  She didn’t need to unload on the detective.  “Anyway they decided I could go home today.  I’ve been meaning to come up here and visit with you anyway.  I want you to know I don’t believe a word they were saying about you.  I don’t blame you.  Daddy thought the world of you, he was always talking about you to me.  Said he wanted us to meet, but never did anything about it,” she smiled, shaking her head.  “I asked him one time if he was ever going to take me to McQuaid’s to meet you some evening and he told me, ‘You’ll meet him when you’re supposed to meet him, Princess.’  I don’t know what he meant by that, he never answered when I would ask why.”  She idly played with the callused fingers of the hand she still held.  She blushed when she realized what she was doing, and stammered out an apology.  “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, standing up to gently lay his hand on the blanket by his hip.  “I’m holding your hand as if I have a right to, and I don’t, I’m so sorry.  I just…  I didn’t realize I…”  She stepped back from the bed as she scrubbed her hands over her face.  “I’m…  I’m just not used to… to… this.”  She started to pace the room.  “Sorry, my anxiety is getting the best of me, and you’d think I’d be excited about getting out of the hospital after being a patient here myself.  I am, but I’m not.  I’m…  I don’t want to go home to an empty house.  I’ll…  I’ll probably be ordering a pizza tonight, I don’t think I can handle cooking dinner for just myself.  Dammit, I’m sorry, Detective, you’re in a coma and I’m unloading on you.  I…”   She jumped when the door opened, looking over to see Sandra Maldonado standing there with her coat draped over her arm. 

“Any change?”  Sandy asked softly.

Emily shook her head.  “No, just reflexive movements,” she answered.  She turned her attention back to the detective, her left hand curling over his left once more, her right hand stroking through his hair.  “Can… can I come back…”  She laughed nervously at herself.  “Why am I even asking, you’re unconscious…  If it’s okay with you, I’d like to come back tomorrow to sit with you,” she finished in a whisper.  “Hospitals get awfully lonely.”

Her eyes were drawn to her hand when she felt a slight squeeze. 

“Did he just…?”  Sandra asked slowly.

“I think it’s just reflexes,” she shrugged, but she squeezed his fingers.  “I’ll be back tomorrow, sometime, Detective Kennex.  I need to get my assignments and get caught up on what I’ve missed in my classes.”  She smiled to herself as she pulled away.  “Maybe I’ll work on my assignments while I’m here, work on them out loud.  Some of the classes are very boring, I’m hoping that you’ll wind up coming to just to tell me to shut up and get out.”

Sandra laughed.  “That sounds like something John would do, but I doubt he’d ever say that to you, Emily,” she smiled.  “I’ll just hound him about the paperwork that was supposed to be turned in weeks ago on the Andretti Corp case.”

Emily giggled.  “Daddy hated the paperwork part of the cases.”

“We all do,” Sandra leaned down to grab Emily’s bag.  She smiled sadly when she saw the flowers and the bear by the sink. 

“Thought I’d brighten up his room,” Emily shrugged.

She nodded.  “He’d appreciate it.”  She slipped her arm around the younger woman when she walked over to her.  “And I think he’d appreciate the company.”

[oldtimefamilybaseball]

I know it seems blasphemous, but this is my favorite part of the baseball season. The regular season is divine, I mark Opening Day as a holiday that must be honored, and October baseball is basically magic, but Spring Training is my favorite. 

I love the casual feel of the games, the couple thousand of pleasantly clapping diehards and snowbirds in the stands, the roughly 200 person rosters that fill out the rosters. The scores don’t matter and no one cares, they’re just here to see baseball. And that just means it’s baseball at its most pure. 

If there is an afterlife, I would imagine it’s endless Spring Training baseball. 

Anyway, here are a few things I’ve written recently: 

What if we renamed every team today? I teamed up with Tom Forget, who is an amazing graphic designer, to reimagine every single baseball team’s name and logo. After all, most teams like the Red Sox, Cubs, Cardinals, etc. didn’t give themselves a name, but got one attached to them. You may like some, hate others, and maybe think I’m a monster for even doing this. But it’s fun! 

Could Manny Machado become the greatest Padre of all-time? Listen, I know the answer is Tony Gwynn. It will always be Tony Gwynn. This post presupposes, what if it wasn’t? 

Baseball's coffee drinking, board game playing oddball is coming home for one more year. Hunter Pence is returning to his childhood home of Arlington to try and earn a place on the Rangers roster. I got a chance to talk to him on the phone and we discussed homecomings, coffee, and board games. Hunter Pence is as cool as he seems. 

Here are a few things I didn’t write, but which you should definitely read: 

The launch angle revolution has helped a lot of batters. One it hasn’t: Jason Kipnis. 

Having to make small talk stresses me out, so standing at first base doesn’t seem like a lot of fun. Baseball players don’t feel that way. 

My site mate Chris Landers got to hang out with Blake Snell on the day that he won the AL Cy Young Award. His article is a pretty good way to get to know a player that I honestly knew very little about beforehand. 

[justanotherdumpingground]

Chapter Reviews: March 12-16, 2019 + ATV's Comeback

High School Story: Class Act Chapter 5:

Did I just support Rory's campaign after supporting the twin's? That I did. I laughed at the options to hold the dance off at the parking lot and pick a heartbreaking ballad. That would be an interesting choice.

I'm starting to dislike the twin for disrupting Rory's campaign. Not once did Rory disrupt the twin's bake sale, and the fact that the twin had the gall to not wait shows their foul play. I debated a bit to supoort the twin or Rory, and ended up going with the latter. Not to mention that the twin's support for more sports falls flat because there's more emphasis on it than cheer and band. Back in the first trilogy, Book 1 focuses on getting a new quarterback after Brian transfered to Heart, and Book 2 has Ashley Faris diverting funding from cheer and band to the basketball team as part of her embezzlement scheme with her brother.

Skye's birthday party is sweet, though I don't want mine held at a graveyard. The irony is that there's a cemetery in the same street I live in. Anyway, what's more important is that Skye's happy. She deserves true happiness, away from her horrible family.

Right now, I'm just curious to see how the trip with friends turns out. I wonder whether there will be more election-related drama, even though I dread it.

The Heist: Monaco Chapter 15:

Yes! I succeeded in getting Sonia to my side. For a moment, I thought she'll stay loyal to Ansel. And that premium scene with her is hot. It's like I finally stole her heart after she stole mine. So glad I picked her as my main love interest because she's the one I find most compelling. Even better was when she distracted Ansel and helped me escape.

Glad to see my training with Jones and Ulrich's gloves paid off. They were worth the diamonds because I got to see my MC being badass and making good use of important tools for the heist. I even stole a necklace that looks like Zenobia's along with the diamond. And the scene where I called Carlisle out for his exploitation of customers was much needed to blow off steam towards him.

The premium escape scene was really badass as well. Seeing Rye and Eris escape in style was cool, and having Fabien drive the main trio to safety was a relaxing calm before the storm. Now all I gotta do was punch Ansel in the face. It's now or never.

Desire & Decorum Chapter 12:

The corgi's back! I missed him! Just kidding. That's just another corgi with the same model as the one in TRR. Nevertheless, I miss the TRR corgi, and it's nice to see some Welsh because it's not a widely spoken language. Too bad I didn't watch the street performers, but after seeing how many of them have recycled models from TC&TF, I cry a little bit inside.

Anyway, it was fun being deceptively polite to Duke Richards and snarky at the same time. Makes me feel good about playing this series. Oh, and Felicity's back even though she's meh.

If there's one thing this book should do regarding the conspirators led by Duke Richards, it's to do justice to the showdown against them. It better not be like The Junior, where Nathan monologues and gets easily exposed, and the clues don't give any special advantages besides putting Beau and/or Kassidy in jail. Seeing that it closely involves the MC being married to Duke Richards, I say have that duke killed in the end.

America's Most Eligible Chapter 9:

Honestly, Piper's still the same smug snake like before. Even when her new show is doing well, I still don't trust her.

After seeing Eden wanting to confess her feelings to Kiana, I say why not? At that time, I thought she could get eliminated, so last chance, perhaps? Even after I've been proven wrong, I still don't regret my decision. It was sweet to see Eden mustering her courage.

Man, Bianca gets done dirty in All Stars, brought back only to have just one premium scene and she gets eliminated this chapter or earlier. I seriously wonder whether or not Pixelberry disregards the potential she brings just because she's female, and PB just wants to cater to its "target audience" despite their illogical demands. Anyway, she deserves better than this.

I really should be careful of Ivy not honoring our deal, especially since I have a negative relationship with her. Nevertheless, Slater gets eliminated, leaving me with one less tough competitor to deal with. The funny thing is that he's still friends with me. Let's see if he and Ivy wind up being interchangeable because of their pragmatism.

The Elementalists Chapter 1:

The opening scene with the girl Goeffe tried to protect and Discount Dorian Pavus got me thinking that the new book's plot will focus on the nine masters of each attunement. From the fight between them and his assumption that the other masters are weak for not realizing their potential, it seems that the nine elements rests on some sort of delicate balance, and the villain wants to use his powers to the hightst potential possible.

Anyway, back to Penderghast. I'm so glad Atlas and Aster have enrolled. I can't wait to see more of them, especially since Aster was severely sidelined in Book 1. I was shocked and amused to see that Greygarden Waithe looks like Yusuf Konevi with blue hair, blue skin, and yellow eyes. Boy, Pixelberry sure loves recycling character models. On another note, I hope I get to see more of the dynamics between the different races of the setting, especially since Aster mentioned the Wand Wars being a sour point in relations between humans and wood nymphs. It's too good of an opportunity for Pixelberry to pass.

I'm thinking of renaming the friend group from Five Stars to something else, probably The Week, with each member for each day of the week. As for the tour around Penderghast, I encouraged Atlas and Aster to focus on their studies. They're in a place of learning, so they should make the most of their enthusiasm for learning. I know Aster's the kind of person who wants to learn more, so that's a plus.

I like the element symbols on the choices. It makes me easier to choose which kind of spell depending on the situation at hand. Especially when it comes to the environment. It's helpful.

So we can get impression points with Discount Dorian Pavus, eh? Well, He's probably lying when he said that he knew MC and Atlas's parents, but I also think it means impression points will have more impact than before. I hope this new villain has a complex characterization and is very effective at his actions. So far, he has a colorful personality, which is better than Raife Highmore, who is bland and forgettable.

Ride or Die Chapter 9:

Why does it sound like Mona traded one undesireable situation (jail time, which shouldn't be bad for her) for another (ending up with the Mercy Park Crew)? It doesn't help that she has no problems continuing her life of crime. And why destroy a functioning car even if it's old? I swear, she doesn't have much of a personality besides being a criminal who doesn't regret her actions, but then again, I pick her out of "pity" and not because of her personality.

Because I sided with Darius, he visited my MC as well as calling her in the previous chapter. As part of me roleplaying (or trying to) her as an informant dedicated to justice, I told him to just trust me, since the Brotherhood is implied to be the antagonists, and he better stay away from being collateral damage.

Colt and Kaneko, you idiots! I get that the Brotherhood is E.V.I.L., but recruiting Salazar despite how much of a snake he is? Hooray for MPC logic! Another reason to throw them under the bus, though it's part of my plan all along anyway.

Open Heart Chapter 5:

I enjoy the friend group of this series, but I also worry that this competition for the diagnostics team position will jeopardize their friendship. As for Aurora, I told the group that she's not as bad as people say. Despite her aloof personality, disregard of small talk, and an unacceptable remark, there's more to her than meets the eye. She resents being associated with her aunt, is actually good with patients like Annie, and makes no attempt to ruin oter people's performances. It's extremely naïve to assume she shouldn't be a complex character, given her understandable annoyance of being seen as Harper's niece and hidden depths with Annie.

Hello, familiar faces. I kinda laughed at Senator Lucius, Kyle Garza, and Percy Mendoza's faces at the baseball match. Pity I didn't buy the premium outfit, but thr baseball manager's so darn relatable on his lack of familiarity with medical terms.

So, Rafael is a love interest? Not surprised because of his popularity among the fanbase. Didn't pick the premium option to fly with him, so I watched on YouTube, and it was okay. I get to know a bit about him and that he looks up to his uncle, which is nice. Not to mention that the sunset view is beautiful.

More thoughts on Across the Void's return:

As I've said earlier, I'm not excited for it to return. I'm wary of Pax and Eos for being nuisances, the love interests lacking sufficient development for me to care for them, and the Vanguard vs Jura conflict lacking enough focus to the point that I don't know enough of them to care. Maybe Pixelberry will fix this issue by focusing more on the gray vs gray conflict they've set up. After all, this story is supposed to be an adventure that allows us to experience various areas of the conflict.

[chasholidays]

With Flowers on the Window Sill

A Gilmore Girls AU for @prsephonies and @blakebrother! Graphic by @bgonemydear

"Okay," says Clarke. "Here's what I don't get about Unity Day."

"It's a made-up holiday," Bellamy grumbles, automatic. "You don't get anything about it." He eyes her mug, which she's been nudging closer for the last few minutes, hoping he'll get the hint. "You've had enough."

"It's coffee, not crack."

"Caffeine is still a drug. It should be controlled like tobacco and alcohol."

"Have you ever considered that if you didn't want to give people coffee, you maybe shouldn't have opened a diner?"

"People are fine, it's you I'm worried about," he says, but he refills her mug.

She takes a deep sip and then focuses her attention back on him. "Here's what I don't get," she says, drumming her fingers on the counter. "You grew up here. You've lived here for your entire life. And yet every year, when we hit a weird Arcadia celebration, you're still angry about it."

"Sorry, are you telling me I can't be angry about things? You?"

"No, not that. I'm just trying to figure out the history here. You've lived in Arcadia for your entire life, these things have been going for your entire life. Did you like Unity Day when you were a kid, and then at some point realize it was shitty and stop liking it? Like how some places are renaming Columbus Day because Columbus was racist. Or were you, like, eight years old and picketing against local holidays? Paint me a word picture."

He snorts, and she feels a small swoop of triumph in her stomach.

Clarke still thinks of herself as a new addition to Arcadia, even though she's been here for almost ten years. It's a town with the kind of memory that doesn't quite make sense to her, as a girl from the rich part of the big city. Her parents had moved there only a year before she was born, and even living in the same place for her whole childhood, Clarke never felt rooted, not the way people feel rooted in Arcadia. There are feuds that go back generations here, property disputes that span centuries.

She's still figuring out how things fit together, and Bellamy is a part of that mystery. He seems to have decided his place in Arcadia is the town grump, but he's only thirty-four, not that much older than Clarke herself. And he's been the town grump for as long as she's been here, and had already settled into the role by the time she moved in, which means he must have started pretty young. And now that Clarke can, on occasion, make him laugh, she figures it's time to press the advantage and see what she can find out about him.

"When I was a kid, I was always planning to get out of here," he admits, watching her sidelong. "I hated all this--small-town bullshit."

"You say, like you don't still hate it."

"Not like I used to. Before my mom died, I just didn't do any of this stuff. When I was a kid I just stayed inside and read during town holidays." She has to laugh, and he glares. "What?"

"I'm just imagining it. Sulky teenage Bellamy reading--" She thinks it over, clucking her tongue. "Greek tragedies. Alone in your room while the rest of the town celebrates."

"Pretty much. I was so ready to leave all of this behind."

Clarke sobers a little; she knows this part of the story. "And then your mom died."

"And then my mom died. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I live here. I want to. After O left, I thought about going too. I could have sold the store and taken off."

"So why didn't you?"

He looks out to the middle distance, really thinking over the response. "Because I wanted to leave just to leave. I didn't have anywhere I wanted to go. I made up my mind when I was a kid that I wasn't going to end up like my mom, stuck in some dead-end town. But once I wasn't stuck, I realized I like a lot of stuff here."

"Just not the weird holidays and traditions?"

"I'm a conscientious objector," he says. "Reminding people that you can be part of the community without buying into every single one of Mrs. Kane's weirdo traditions."

"And you are, aren't you?" she says, with a smile.

He just cocks his head. "I'm what?"

"Part of the community."

"The curmudgeon," he agrees, and she laughs.

Madi comes in before she figures out a follow-up, taking the seat next to Clarke and beaming at Bellamy, and that's kind of a relief. It takes some of the pressure off her.

"Got an A on my Latin test," she tells Bellamy. "So, free coffee?"

"Like I ever charge you for coffee," he says. "No refills, though. Just because your mom has bad habits doesn't mean you have to. Let me see the test."

She was clearly expecting the question; she already has the sheet out, and she and Bellamy trade mug for paper, like she really is paying him. Bellamy leans back against the wall, scanning the text.

Bellamy's affection for Madi was the first thing that started changing Clarke's mind about him, once she noticed it. For the first few years in Arcadia, before she'd settled in, before she'd gotten used to her new life, she didn't come to the diner much. It wasn't until Madi was eight or nine that she realized that she was in here all the time after school, working on homework, and that Bellamy not only didn't object but encouraged her, helped her with homework questions and gave her free cookies sometimes.

Clarke hadn't dealt with it particularly well at the time, and the argument about how he was butting into her daughter's life and how he wouldn't have to do that if she was around more had kept the two of them at odds for a couple more years.

Now, she's finally settling into liking him, and it feels like where they should have been all along. She thinks she was meant to be friends with Bellamy Blake.

"How was school?" she asks Madi, while Bellamy reads. "Aside from the Latin test."

She shrugs. "Fine. Kind of boring. We started doing soccer in gym, that's fun. I'm a pretty good goalie." She narrows her eyes, suspicion creeping into her features. "What are you doing here, anyway? Don't you have work?"

Bellamy looks up from Madi's test. "She makes a good point. Did you come here just to make fun of me about Unity Day?"

"What's wrong with Unity Day?"

"Don't get him started," says Clarke. "I actually wanted to ask if you'd partner with me for it."

"For Unity Day," he says, dubious. "Which we've just established that I hate."

"I can't cook," says Clarke, and Madi snorts.

"Wow, understatement of the decade, Mom."

Clarke ignores her. "I want to have some food to offer for the Unity Day walk, and I need someone to cater. I figured I'd rather pay you than someone I don't know, but if you hate it that much--"

"You want me to make you food for Unity Day?"

"It's a good opportunity to get people into the gallery," she says. "From outside of Arcadia. I need to put my best foot forward, and that means--I don't even know. Hot chocolate? Maybe some cookies?"

Bellamy crosses his arms over his chest, jaw tight. "What's in it for me?"

"Besides money?"

"Money isn't everything, Clarke."

She rolls her eyes, but it's not as if she didn't see this coming. Stubborn asshole is his brand. "You have somewhere else to be for Unity Day."

"You're going to give me a paid vacation?"

"You can hang out at the gallery," says Clarke. "In the back, if you want. Say you're cooking, read a book. Whatever you want. But you won't have to be here, dealing with tourists and wanting to murder them."

Bellamy shifts a little, clearly weighing the appeal of this idea, and Clarke sits back, letting him process. She does, for the most part, understand his perspective. She doesn't love all of the quaint little Arcadia traditions, and Unity Day is a particularly bizarre and misguided one, a town-wide equivalent of the phrase happy holidays, where they try to honor all the various winter festivals by creating a non-denominational day to just celebrate coming together as a community.

She can see the appeal, but overall, she thinks the execution is lacking. Still, it's basically a holiday fair, and this is her first holiday season with her own gallery. She wants to do it right, which means bringing people in the door.

"You don't bake?" he finally asks her.

"What?"

"I feel like you'd be a good baker."

"Based on what?"

"You're--" He glances at Madi and apparently rethinks what he was going to say. "Detail-oriented. My sister always hated baking because she had to follow the recipe exactly. She liked just throwing stuff together to see what happened."

"I guess I never tried much," she says. "My mom never cooked, neither did my dad. We had people to do that for us."

"And instead of developing life skills, you decided to live off takeout and caffeine. Sounds about right. You have to help me bake the cookies," he decides.

"What?"

"I'll do your Unity Day catering if you help me with the cookies."

"I'm taking out the cost of my labor out of what I pay you."

"Honestly, you should be paying me extra for teaching you to bake. You can help too, if you want," he adds to Madi, and she shrugs.

"I don't know if I really want to witness Mom's first attempt at baking. Maybe, like, the fourth batch, once someone else eats some first. So I know it's safe."

"Thanks. Really." She turns her attention to Bellamy, watching him again. He's looking back at her, just as steady. "So, deal, right? You're in?"

"I'm in, yeah. If you make me talk to art gallery patrons--"

"I want to sell paintings, not scare everyone off," she teases. "You can hide in the back reading Antigone. I promise."

"Cool, pleasure doing business with you. No," he adds, when Madi holds her mug up for him.

"Mom says it's okay."

"Your mom is an enabler. I'm putting my foot down. Eat a vegetable."

"Or we could go home and order Chinese food," says Clarke, and Bellamy rolls his eyes.

"It's not going to be my fault when you two die of malnutrition."

"It's definitely not," she agrees. "We can figure out when we're baking later this week?"

He touches his finger to his head, something like a salute. "Looking forward to it."

It sounds almost genuine.

*

“When’s that holiday fair you’re having?” Abby asks, on Friday.

Clarke and Madi exchange a look, wary. The weekly dinners with Clarke’s mother are still relatively new, and still a little difficult. Clarke’s decision to keep Madi after her parents died never sat right with Abby, and it wasn’t until Jake died two years ago that she reached out to reconnect. Clarke and her dad, at least, had maintained friendly contact in the post-Madi world, but Abby struggled.

Clarke’s happy to have her mother back, but she always feels a little like she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Unity Day?” Madi supplies, tentative, and Abby snaps her fingers.

“That was it. I was thinking I could come down.”

This time, Madi actually looks alarmed, and Clarke doesn’t bother hiding her own shock from her mother either.

“You want to come to Arcadia?”

“I don’t feel as if I’ve been entirely fair,” says Abby. It’s simultaneously an understatement and a staggering admission. Only her mother can pull that off. “You’ve put so much work into your gallery and I haven’t even been down to see it.”

“It’s a long drive,” says Clarke, not sure why she’s arguing, except that Abby in Arcadia feels wrong, like the world knocked of its orbit. Arcadia exists outside of Abby Griffin.

“One you make every week for dinner,” Abby shoots back. “Do you not want me there?”

The question sounds genuine, but there’s no way to say no without sounding like an asshole. Her mother wants to come see her new business. As Abby said, if anyone is in the wrong here, it’s her for taking so long.

“Just surprised,” she says. “It’s two weeks from Saturday.”

“Clarke’s going to make cookies,” Madi adds, and Clarke shoots her a glare.

Abby looks mildly shocked. “You are?”

“Not on my own. Most of the businesses have some snacks out to lure in visitors, so the guy who owns the diner is going to help me out with cookies and stuff.”

“The diner? I’m surprised Arcadia doesn’t have a bakery.”

It does, of course, but Clarke doesn’t really know Nyko very well. He’s a nice guy who certainly would have made cookies if Clarke paid him, but—well, he’s not Bellamy.

“Bellamy bakes too,” says Madi. “And he and Clarke are friends.”

“And this way I get to work on my baking,” Clarke says. Friends feels like an overly optimistic take on her and Bellamy's relationship, but arguing with Madi about it in front of her mother will not make anything better.

"Perfect," says Abby. "So I'll see you then?"

There's still no way to say no, so she tries a smile instead. "Yeah. Looking forward to it."

*

Bellamy takes baking seriously, which doesn't really surprise her, but it is kind of adorable. Not only does he convince Nyko to let them use the bakery kitchen, but he brings an apron and a hairnet for Clarke, as well as a thermos of coffee.

"I thought you wanted me to cut back."

"This is all you're getting today," he says. "I assume that's actually less than you usually have."

From an academic standpoint, it's an interesting statement. It's not like Clarke carefully monitors her caffeine intake on a daily basis to see how many pints of coffee she's drinking. She just sort of has it until she stops wanting it.

"Well, thanks anyway," she says. "For your mild enabling. And the apron."

“Yeah, it didn’t sound like you had your own.” He wets his lips, and if Clarke didn’t know better, she’d say he was nervous. But he definitely knows how to bake. “So, I figured iced sugar cookies. They’re pretty safe, in terms of allergens, and I got stuff so we can do one gluten free batch. And you’re an artist, so you can handle decorations, right?”

“I’ve never worked on cookies, but probably, yeah. What shapes are approved for Unity Day? I’m guessing no trees.”

“No evergreens, anyway. Snowmen are cool. Stars. I was thinking we could do palettes, though.”

“Palettes?”

“The little, uh—“ He pulls out a piece paper, where he’s sketched one of the round palettes. He prepped for this. “I figure we can make a giant batch and recruit Madi to help decorate. A coat of white on all of them, and then colored dots for paint. Unless you’d rather go winter-themed.”

“No, this is perfect,” she says, and means it. “Really, thanks.”

He looks so genuinely pleased that her heart stops for a second. She's never seen him look so unguarded before, and she likes it. "Awesome. Shouldn't be too hard." He nods once. "Okay, aprons on, hands washed. Ready to start?"

Clarke wasn't expecting it to be bad or anything. On the contrary, she's been excited for this all week, but it's been the kind of excitement where she looking forward a lot more to spending time with Bellamy than she was actually doing the cooking. She thought he'd make the baking better, and while he definitely does, she also actually really likes baking. Seeing the ingredients coming together, watching the texture of the batter change as they work, it's all really neat.

Bellamy is smug about it, but that's not really bad either. "I told you you'd like baking," is all he says, and she elbows him.

She'd been a little wary about the early start he'd requested, but it takes them until eleven to finish the batches of dough, and then they apparently have to cool for a while before they're used.

"We could grab lunch?" she asks, voice coming out more hopeful than she really meant it to.

But he just smiles. "Yeah, I told Miller we were going to hit the diner when we were done here. Do you want to get Madi?"

"No, she's set. Hanging out with Anna for a while. We might be able to talk them into helping us decorate, but I don't think lunch is enough of a draw."

"Fair enough, lunch is boring." He waits until they're in the booth to say, "You know, she was telling me about your mom the other day. Madi, I mean."

"Yeah, she's coming down for Unity Day. I think Madi and I are both just waiting for it to go wrong."

He drums his fingers on the table, thinking. "So, can I ask? Or is it too soon?"

"Ask what?"

"I don't actually know what happened with you and Madi. Or you and your mom. I remember when you showed up in town, but--"

But she'd arrived just as the diner was opening up, and between his being busy with that and her being busy with Madi, it was at least two years before she learned Bellamy Blake was the male owner of the diner and not a woman she'd been nodding to on her way to work at the bus stop.

"So, no background at all?"

"I know she's not your biological daughter," he says. "But she was, what, four when you guys moved here?"

"Five." She sighs. "It was probably kind of like you and the store, actually."

"Yeah?"

"I was in college, feeling kind of--not lost, exactly, but I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happier. I was doing everything I'd wanted to do since I was a kid, but I wasn't happy."

"So you dropped out of school and adopted a kid?"

"Not exactly. I did, but--I was interning at a hospital over the summer, and Madi's parents were in a car crash. Her dad died in the crash, but her mom made it to the hospital, and she made me promise to make sure her daughter was taken care of. And I know I didn't have to do it," she adds, because she's had this conversation so many times she has her lines memorized. "I know there were a thousand other things I could have done besides taking her myself. But I wanted to."

"And your mom didn't think you should?"

"No. My dad got it a little more, but--my mom's a doctor, she wanted me to be a doctor too. So she took it pretty personally when I dropped out of college to move to a small town and raise a kid."

"Which is why your incredibly rich family wasn't helping you out with fiances?"

"My dad did a little," she says. "He made sure we had enough money to find a place, and--" She shrugs. "Look, I know how lucky I am. They never would have let us starve or anything. But my mom made it clear that if I wanted her help, I'd have to get someone else to take care of Madi."

"And now she's trying to make friends?" He doesn't sound impressed.

"My dad died a couple years ago, it made her reconsider a lot of things. If I asked her for money now, she'd probably say yes, but--"

"But then you'd be asking her for money."

"Yeah. I know the self-made person thing is bullshit, but--I've been getting by fine on my own for all these years. If I tell her I need her help now, I feel like it's admitting to her that I can't. I ask for stuff for Madi," she adds. "For Christmas and birthdays. Just not for me."

"I'm not going to say I get it," he admits. "But you're good, right? The gallery's doing okay?"

"Yeah, and it's--this feels a lot more like my life, I guess. Not just what my parents decided for me. And I like it here. I'm happy this is where we ended up."

"Me too," he says, like he means it, and Clarke feels warm down to her toes.

*

"So, do I need to do anything special?" Bellamy asks, on Unity Day.

It's been a slightly weird week. It wasn't as if Clarke hadn't known she liked him, and even that she was attracted to him, but those vague, easy-to-ignore crush feelings have kicked into full gear since they made the cookies together. It's not actually out-of-character for her to go to the diner every day, but it feels weightier now, like when she went to the dining hall at the same time Lexa did freshman year so she could just happen to run into her.

But if Bellamy's noticed, he doesn't mind. He seems happy to have her around, and he's even stopped by the gallery a few times, ostensibly because he's checking to see how she's setting up for the fair, but Clarke's pretty sure it's actually just that they're friends.

And maybe he wants to make out. That would be nice.

"Special?" she asks.

"I don't know, your mom's here. Do you need backup? Is there a special signal you want to use to tell me that you need me to come and tell you there's an emergency?"

"I thought you were going to be hiding in the back, never interacting with anyone."

"Not the whole time." He rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry, did you not want anyone to see me? I can--"

"Bellamy," she says, smiling. "If you want to hang out, talking to tourists, be my guest, but you don't have to. I promise I'll be fine. My mom's not that scary."

"Is Madi going to be around?"

"Some, yeah. She's mostly hanging out with friends, but she'll stop by. We're getting dinner at your place, actually."

"You're taking your rich mom to my diner?" he asks, sounding dubious.

"I like your diner. Besides, all the restaurants are booked up. We can always just get stuff from you to go and eat it later. And," she adds, in the interest of full disclosure, "she's curious about you."

He frowns. "Why?"

"Madi told her about the cookies, she thinks we're friends."

"Are we not?" he asks, mild.

"BFFs," she says, deadpan, but when she smiles, he does too. "I didn't mean we weren't friends, just--it's kind of weird for that to be what my mom knows about you."

"As opposed to what?"

"I don't know. It's weird that she wants to scope you out."

"No offense, but everything about your mom seems weird. But I can lay low, if you don't want her to be weird about me."

"Definitely not. You should be hanging out as much as possible. I want to see what she thinks of you."

He raises his eyebrows. "You know you're being weird about this too, right?"

"I know. I'm nervous, I want backup. And I want my mom to--she's never been here before, and Unity Day really isn't my thing. It feels like she's not going to see what's good about the town, why I like it here."

It's true, but until he frowns, the implications are lost on her. "I'm what's good about town?"

"People like you, yeah."

"Huh. Good to know." He rubs the back of his neck, his favorite nervous gesture and hers too. "So just tell me where you want me," he says, spreading his arms out. "I'm at your disposal."

"You're going to regret that," she says, bright, and he laughs.

"Do your worst."

*

Unity Day, as a small business owner, is a lot, and Bellamy is a blessing to have around. Clarke has a couple high-school kids who help out after school, but they're not great with people, and Bellamy, somehow, is. For all he's the town curmudgeon, as soon as he's helping her, it's like a flip is switched. Suddenly he's warm and charming and easy, actually knows about the art, and full of praise for her and the gallery.

"How do you even know this much?" she asks, during a lull in the crowd.

"I'm really smart."

"About the gallery."

"Madi talks about it all the time. You too. And I've been visiting, remember? I was doing research."

"You really didn't have to do all this. Not that I don't appreciate it, but I know you don't even like Unity Day. I wasn't expecting--"

"I wanted to help out," he says. He takes a step closer, and Clarke's heart flips, lurches, and starts beating double time. "I--"

"Clarke!"

They both startle, moving apart automatically, and Clarke gives her mother a weak smile. She has Marcus Kane with her, of all people, and the she looks--happy, mostly.

"Hey, Mom," she says, smooth. "You found the place."

"I do have GPS," she says, dry. "The store looks wonderful. You must be very proud." Her attention shifts to Bellamy. "And you must be--"

"Helping out," he supplies, offering his hand. "Bellamy Blake."

"It's a pleasure to meet you. You're responsible for the cookies?"

"Clarke did a lot of the work," he says. "She just needed a little guidance."

"And I believe we'll be having dinner at your place?"

"Yeah. My best friend is manning the grill tonight, he'll take care of you."

"Oh, you aren't joining us?" Abby asks, surprised, and Clarke jumps on it.

"Of course he is. Right, Bellamy?"

His smile is a little crooked. "Yeah. Happy to."

Kane takes point on showing Abby around the gallery, and by the time they're gone, Clarke and Bellamy are busy again, and don't get a break until the retail hours finish and they're wrapping up.

"You really don't mind me having dinner with you guys?" he asks. "I can feed myself."

"I want you to have dinner with us," she says. "I really appreciate your help." She wets her lips. "And I want to find out what you were going to say earlier."

His mouth tugs up at the corner. "Would you believe me if I said I was going to say I wished Unity Day had mistletoe so I had an excuse to kiss you?"

"Not really, but it's not a bad line."

"Yeah, I've been working on it." He reaches over to tuck her hair out of her face. "Seriously, I've been looking for an excuse to spend more time with you for years."

"You don't need an excuse, just ask."

"Awesome. You want to go do the Unity Day walk before dinner?"

"Definitely not," she says, and tugs him down for a kiss.

*

She and Madi head over to the diner together the next morning.

"It's not like I'm not happy for you," she's saying. "I am. It just took so long. Like, you couldn't have just asked him on a date months ago? Like a normal person? He made you pancakes for your birthday."

"Yeah, but all he gave me was a print off about the dangers of caffeine addiction. Being an adult is hard, okay? This stuff takes time."

"It's been like ten years."

Clarke holds the door open for her. Bellamy looks up at the sound of the bells over the door, breaks out into a wide grin at the sight of them, and Clarke feels her own smile growing in response.

"Pathetic," Madi mutters.

"I know, I know," says Clarke. "Worth it."

[prettyxlittlexwriter]

VDay Challenge Day 1 -Wreak Havoc

Day 1: Song by a female artist - Wreak Havoc by Skylar Grey

Rick Flag x OFC Kara

Lyrics in BOLD

Note: Hi guys! Here is my first submission for the #2018 Vday Challenge! It’s my first ever Rick Flag/DCU/Suicide Squad fic! There was a serious shortage of Rick Flag Fic and I hope to fix that. Enjoy! <3 Sarah

It was hot and dry and Rick Flag could feel the back of his neck already beginning to burn in the desert sun. He squinted his eyes against the swirling dust being kicked up by the landing helicopter. His sunglasses helped keep most of the grit out, but the nature of dust was that it managed to get literally everywhere.

The chopper touched down and the big doors slid open. Black stiletto heels and long, tanned legs appeared, followed by a tight pencil skirt stretched over muscular thighs tapering up to a narrow waist. The Colonel fought to keep his expression stoic and composed as the face of a ghost that had haunted him for years came into view. It was a face changed by time and mostly obscured by expensive aviator shades, but nonetheless, it was one he would have recognized anywhere. Kara Stone, owner and CEO of Blackstone Security crossed the landing pad towards him as if she owned the place.

“A little overdressed?” he drawled dryly. He imagined her rolling her eyes behind her dark glasses.

“I wasn’t exactly given the chance to change,” she bit back, her voice sharp and laced with ice. “So did I get to know the reason behind my abduction?” She asked as she pushed her fitted black blazer open, planting her hands on her hips and Flag caught a glimpse of a shoulder holster and the butt of a small Glock 26.

“You weren’t abducted ma’am,” he said, not even trying to hide his smirk now. “Your presence was simply requested without the option for you to decline.”

“Don’t fucking give me that ‘ma’am’ shit, Flag,” she swore, causing Rick to raise an eyebrow. “I’m sure you didn’t drag me halfway across the globe for a happy reunion. You want to talk? Let’s talk.”

“Follow me,” he said, turning and heading for the tallest building on the base. “And, uh, watch out for scorpions. Those shoes don’t offer a lot in the way of protection…” Muttering under her breath, Kara stalked after Flag, not bothering to look for any god damn scorpions. They cut a path through several green tents, past rows of HumVees and Jeeps and a few small one story out buildings. Flag pushed open the door and a blast of AC washed over them. They both removed their sunglasses as they proceeded wordlessly down a long hall. Rick finally stopped near the end and opened the door and allowing her to enter first. Kara did a quick assessment of what appeared to be a conference room. Large oval table surrounded by twelve black leather chairs. A small projector in the center of the table sat next to a round conference phone. At the front of the room was a white screen and a smartly dressed African American woman with her hands folded in front of her, her lips pressed into a hard line.

“Kara Stone, meet Amanda Waller,” Flag said and the woman nodded by way of greeting.

“Ms. Stone,” Amanda said, smiling though it didn’t reach her eyes. “Please have a seat.” As Kara sank down into the chair, Amanda opened a manila folder on the table in front of her. “Thank you for coming.”

“As I mentioned to the Colonel, it didn’t appear as if I had a choice,” Kara replied tersely.

“Tell me, Ms. Stone. How does a decorated graduate from West Point rise up through the ranks to a First Sergeant in the United States Army only to be dishonorably discharged with an otherwise spotless record?” Rick’s stomach rolled slightly and a small muscle in his jaw twitched.

“The US Army doesn’t really like to give second chances to fuck ups, Ms. Waller,” Kara said matter-of-factly.

“Even when those fuck ups are the daughter of a Two Star General?” Waller countered.

“Especially when, ma’am,” Kara answered and Flag could detect a shift in her voice. He was sure Waller caught it to.

“He died shortly after you were court-martialed, did he not?” The older woman asked. Rick swallowed down a hard lump in his throat and did his best to look anywhere except at Kara.

“He did. Heart attack,” she answered quietly.

“I was sorry to hear that,” Flag said aloud, the words out of his mouth before he realized they were being spoken. Kara’s eyes flew to his and she nodded her thanks.

“You could have Googled all of this,” Kara said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the big conference table. “Why am I really here?”

“Your firm holds the security contract for Cadmus Laboratories. We need to infiltrate a their secret location and destroy all the research and…. experiments there.” Waller said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Ms. Waller,” Kara said, a wry smile forming on her lips. “As you’ve said, my frim controls the security of Cadmus and as such we are responsible for protecting against infiltration and destruction.”

“We’ll pay you three times what Cadmus is paying,” Waller offered.

“But even that won’t cover the cost of all the business I stand to lose after failing to protect such a high profile client.”

“Aren’t mercenaries in high demand right now?” Flag interjected. “Isn’t there some third world dictator that needs his assets protected?” Amanda Waller shot him a look that could kill and he clamped his mouth shut again.

“Mercenary is such an ugly word,” Kara said, her lip curling up at Flag. “We’re a private security firm. And the answer is no. I make no apologies. All of my sins I would repeat and I repeat. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, in spite of my tarnished military service record. I’ve built an elite force and we have the top contracts.”

“The US Military has the top contracts,” Flag bit out. “You get the dirty shit they won’t touch.”

“Colonel Flag!” Amanda reprimanded and once again, Rick grew silent. “Ms. Stone, we are not in the habit of asking nicely, but because of your… history with the Colonel here, I am going to make my offer just once more.”

“My history with your associate should have no bearing on this matter,” Kara said, standing to leave, “The answer is still no.”

“That’s too bad,” Amanda said, beginning to pace and for the third time today, Rick stomach felt ill and he mentally braced himself for what came next. “Your father was a great man. Sparkling service record, two time Medal of Honor recipient. He has library named after him in your hometown, doesn’t he?” Kara froze, staring down Waller with a deadly gaze. She didn’t answer. “It was a shame when all those women began to come forward with allegations of sexual misconduct. A few men, too, if I’m not mistaken…”

“Fuck you,” Kara spat. “My father was an incredible man, an incredible leader. His men and women loved him.”

“I know that,” Amanda said, her tone full of mock kindness. “You know that. Hell, even Flag knows that… but I have found that I can get pretty much anyone to say anything… for the right price. They’ll even throw in some tears to make it extra convincing. I wonder if they would have to rename the library. I wonder what your mother would think? A woman her age… you really have to worry about her heart just… giving out.” Kara sank down slowly back into her chair, her chest rising and falling with deep, agitated breaths.

“You know,” she said after a few moments, “I have a file on you, too. A.R.G.U.S? The Suicide Squad? The shit in Midway City?” Amanda looked impressed for a moment.

“Rumors,” she said with a shrug.

“Perhaps,” Kara said, rocking back in her chair. “If I do this, I want the money and I want my father’s reputation intact. Maybe even an posthumous star awarded.”

“Fine. Done,” Waller said, reaching for the file on Kara and shoving it back into her briefcase.

“And I want in on all the intel,” Kara said, standing and pressing her palms flat on the table top. “I will not be kept in the dark.”

“Fine,” Waller said again as she crossed the room to leave. “Rick will accompany you back to New York. He will brief you on the situation and you two can come up with a plan of attack. Task Force X is also at your disposal.”

“Task Force X?” Kara asked, but Waller was gone, the door shutting quietly behind her. Rick listened for the sound of her heels to disappear in the hallway outside before letting out the breath he’d been holding.

“Kara, listen…” he started.

“Fuck you,” Kara said, her voice wavering in anger. “Fuck you for everything.”

“It’s better this way,” Flag offered. “Trust me.”

“He loved you like a son,” she said, quietly. “He’d drop dead all over again to see what you’ve become.” Her comment cut him deep, though he didn’t allow his pain to show outwardly. He nodded and said nothing. More than one time he’d found himself in a difficult situation and tried to think of how General Stone would handle it. He wondered now what the great man would think of the business his daughter was conducting. He wondered if she ever asked herself that very question. She took a deep breath, one last attempt at composing herself and it seemed to work. Standing, she smoothed down her shirt and buttoned her blazer in front of her. “I assume you don’t need to pack?”

“My bag’s on the chopper,” he said, reaching for the door handle and pushing the door open for her. Kara brushed past him, long legs carrying her quickly back towards the exit. Rick followed after her but just before she reached the double doors, she spun on him and he had to stop short to avoid crashing into her.

“I know that you hate that you need me, you wanna destroy me but you can’t,” she seethed, eyes blazing with fury. “Tell me, Flag, what’s your weakness? Who is your pressure point?”

“At the moment,” he said, trying to keep his voice even as an image of June Moone flashed in his mind, “I am without one. I’ve discovered it’s better this way.”

“Lucky you,” Kara spat out before turning and pushing her way back out into the suffocating desert heat. Rick forced himself to follow, thinking that lately, he’d felt anything but lucky.

To be continued.................................................................

[scartale-an-undertale-au]

Papers of Homelessness - Chapter 42

(This banner had been made by the awesome and amazing artist @benteja​​​. i am so honored that she had drawn this banner for this story. please go and show her all the love in the world that she deserves!!! \[^o^]/)

BEFORE | NEXT

a/n: I had such a terrible writer’s block. but now hopefully i’m over it now. enjoy me getting out of block by torturing chara XD

Dion was seated in front of Frisk, looking more excited than serious, which in turn made Frisk more nervous. She was inching her hands to her pants’ pockets, which really showed how this whole situation was unnerving for her.

You sighed and folded your arms, glaring at Dion. “Stop it.”

The curly haired man chuckled sheepishly. “Sorry about that. We’ve been tracking Muffet for so long with no new leads, that to have such a great evidence in front of me is making me so happy.”

My eyes narrowed. “Just tone it down. We’re not kids.”

“Duly noted.”

Undyne snorted while Grillby nodded.

Why were you even doing it…?

Dion took a deep breath and spread some papers on the table. Some pictures of Muffet in several places and some forms that seemed to be… invoices?

“The anonymous caller this morning only said the following… ‘The time will tell’.”

“…That sounds even worse than Sans’ puns…” You grumbled. “What has it got with the bills?”

“Is that saying that she messed up in business connected to times?” Undyne raised a brow. “And that’s all of her bills? There is no way.”

“That’s all the invoices that we got on her.” Dion seemed frustrated. “She manages to avoid having to turn certain bills on her since she used other peoples to be in charge of those bills.”

You scratched your neck. “Meaning she had boss-dolls?”

Dion sighed. “That’s one way of putting it. It’s basically several fronts that she has that are ‘owned’ by different people. We saw a similar move years ago with the coke king… though he had been captured and found guilty… it appears that we are dealing with a new royalty.”

Frisk stiffened.

“Frisk?”

The woman’s hands clenched on her knees, head lowered and face hidden by her hood. “Queen of the underground. She liked to call herself that…”

“New royalty.”

“Thanks for stating the obvious, Dion.”

“…Chara…”

You folded your arms, scowling. “What is even this stupid meeting for? We don’t need to know about stupid bills to confront the bitch. What will we do with it? Come to her and say ‘hey, bitch, you forget to pay your mortgage’? Having Frisk talk about this might tip Muffet off about something fishy that is going on. If it’s not important now, save it for later.”

Dion rubbed the bridge of his nose, all excitement gone. “I’m sharing it because then Frisk will know what to look for. We need confession and hard evidence on Muffet’s part in the underworld. Frisk knows her the most.”

Unfortunately.

You started wondering if you should back out of this. You trusted Frisk, but this smelled like a big trap. Muffet was not an idiot. Frisk won’t suddenly, out of nowhere, confront her without a really good reason.

Frisk looked at you, covered eyes boring into you. Dion was putting her on edge but she was determined to do it. You understood her, wanting to avenge those who got hurt under the bitch’s actions, wanting to make sure that Muffet’s stalking didn’t do any harm.

…But knowing her from the short meetings. It was already too late.

And Frisk knew that. But damage control and all that.

You sighed and slumped in your seat. “Alright, continue.”

Dion nodded and tapped on the pictures. “She had been frequenting your diner. I think she took some pictures. Please tell me you have security cameras…”

You and Grillby shared a look and then looked away. Dion and Undyne looked at you like you lost your heads.

“That’s the most important thing in food places! What if a burglar comes?”

Frisk snorted. Undyne snapped her head to the shorter woman in disbelief. “You keep watch all night?!”

Dion cleared his throat, looking embarrassed. “Can we please get back to the subject?”

You shrugged while Undyne glared at you, promising to continue the conversation later. You were not happy over that. Frisk looked slightly less nervous, but she still reached for your hand under the table and grabbed it. You squeezed hers. “So why do you think she wants pictures of me?”

Dion sighed. “I have a hunch that she’s using you as a blackmail. For what, I don’t know. But she seemed interested in you.”

You shuddered in disgust. “Maybe my father?”

That wouldn’t be so far-fetched. He was a mayor and all. Maybe your luck at never been targeted before is catching up to you.

“Your father?”

“The former mayor.”

“The former mayor… was Asgore Dreemurr, right?”

You nodded.

“But I thought that Asriel Dreemurr is residing in… Wait… you’re Charles Dreemurr?” Dion gaped in shock.

…There is a reason you avoided telling your formal name to people. Now you just use your mother’s maiden name for anything legal alongside your real name. You both had the habit to slip back to Dreemurr, but it was getting better.

“I was. Now I’m Chara Rovias now. Mom prefers her maiden name and I prefer Chara,” You explained, shrugging.

Frisk hummed, looking at you in confusion. You grimaced. “Formality and stupid reasons. Being the son of the mayor apparently meant that Chara was not a formal enough of a name so I was renamed ‘Charles’ for a while.”

“Oh… interesting…”

“Not really. This whole 'dad was a mayor’ is more of a headache than I like.” Dion nodded, his tone growing excited again. “So you think Muffet wants something from you because you’re a Dreemurr?”

You shrugged. “It’s always a possibility. And other than being Frisk's… boyfriend,” You blushed and then glared at Undyne when she snorted, “I have nothing that she could possibly want.”

“I see… so it all boils down to Frisk at the end,” Dion stared at the short woman. Frisk tensed at the stare and burrowed into her chair, her hand crushing yours. You winched.

“She took my people… I have nothing else to give…” Frisk made herself smaller.

She was lying.

“Frisk?” You inched closer and bent down, trying to look under her hoodie, at the moment not caring about the others in the room who fortunately kept quiet.

“Frisk, please tell me.”

Frisk looked like she was about to cry. Her hand holding yours leaving bruises. You rubbed her hand in an attempt to release your hand. She loosened her hold and you flexed your fingers, noticing the red marks left behind.

Ouch.

“…She can take you…” Frisk mumbled. “…She wanted to use you… you interrupted her by entering the diner… she wanted to give your name… to someone…”

Your body stiffened. She wanted to do what? “Why my name though? Has she told you?”

She shook her head. “Didn’t get a chance…”

You cupped her cheek, feeling the hood and hair warming your bruised your hand. You bumped your forehead to her covered head. “We’ll get the information from Muffet, okay? We’ll find out what she wants from you and who did she pass my name to.”

Then you looked up to Dion. “I have an idea for the excuse.”

Dion relaxed.

Undyne cornered you after the five of you finalized the plan and dispersed. You were not in the mood to deal with any more talks and tried to walk past her, but your arm was grabbed and you were pulled back.

You yelped as you stumbled back, feeling your poor flesh bruising under her strong hold. What is it with you and getting bruised today? You glared at the Amazonian woman. “What?”

“Don’t give me that,” Undyne growled and pushed you into a chair and slammed her fist on the table, hovering over you. You shrunk a bit, wondering what had gotten into her. She took a deep breath and then grabbed your shirt collar and pulled you closer to her so you were face to face with her. “How can you just let Frisk go into danger all the time?”

Your air felt cut off with the fist pressing onto your throat and you didn’t like how furious she looked. You frowned and gripped her fist, digging your nails into her skin. “Get your hands off me, Undyne. Right. Now.”

Undyne took a moment, but then grimaced and released you, causing you to fall into you chair. “Fine, but answer me!”

“What is there to answer!?” You retorted, sitting up and rubbing you throat. “She did it out of her violation!”

“It doesn’t excuse you from not trying to stop her!”

You seethed, standing up and getting to her face. “You think I didn’t try to? Frisk is her own person! I can’t force her to do anything!”

“Then convince her! Go out with her on her stupid quest! You’re just encouraging it! Do you even love her!?”

You slammed your fist into her cheek, sending her to the ground. She held her cheek, looking up to you in shock then at wariness.

You were bristling, filled with anger as you stepped forward and yanked her sleeve up, forcing her to look at you. “Don’t you dare question my actions.”

Undyne’s eyes narrowed. “So what, you let her get hurt?”

“You let me get hurt, player. Again.”

A crying face.

“Why won’t you protect me?”

An angry face.

“He’s not your babysitter, baby-face! You think we want to get hurt too? He’s the one getting hurt the most!”

More crying.

“Oh, shut up!”

Fists, blood, crying.

Your feet unmoving. Can’t move.

Scared. Want home. Want mommy. Want daddy.

“Player?”

Look up.

Mask.

Promise of pain.

Help…

“Come.”

“CHARA!”

Your eyes snapped open and a sudden wave of pounding pain hit your head. You groaned, doubling over on the floor, holding onto your head as acidic hot fluids forced themselves out of your throat and spilled onto the floor.

“Chara!” Slippery hands grabbed your shoulders. You heaved, your fists aching and a sense of dread rising in your throat. You looked up, eyes widening when faced with Undyne’s bleeding nose.

She looked at you and then relaxed, covering her face and inhaling a shuddering breath. “You’re back. Oh, thank god.”

“W-what… what happened?” You asked, stomach rolling and bile coming up once more. You went limp and collapsed into Undyne’s hold, clutching your hair. “It hurts…”

She forced you onto your feet, and you noticed that she was limping. What… what happened while you had the vision?

“Un—”

“You attacked me and I don’t think it’s because of my words,” Undyne’s voice came out softer than intended. “You’re lucky that Frisk and Grillby left the diner for some errands, because you really scared me there.”

“That's… that’s new,” You huffed, feeling hot yet chilled at the same time. Sweat covered you and yet you were shivering. Undyne sighed and placed you back on the chair, pushing you so your head was looking up instead down. You couldn’t move your pounding head. Everything was so heavy…

“I’ll get you some tea. I’ll clean this up…” Undyne limped to the backroom, disappearing into it. Your head lolled to the side and you grabbed it, winching in pain.

That vision… that mask again… you were starting to doubt that you were just imagining things. If those visions are causing you to attack your friends… you were in deep trouble.

Perhaps you did need to return to the therapist. Maybe get those pills if they would stop this…

You weren’t getting better.

You were getting worse.

You felt like a failure.

“Stand up. Again.”

Head hurting. Side burning. Blood on the floor.

“Get. Up.”

Sharp pain in the shoulder. Stumbling to feet. Picking up stick.

“Again.”

A wild scream coming out. Slash.

Pain in leg. Falls down. Screaming.

“Stand up, Player. I won’t tolerate failure from my doll.”

Help…

“Chara! Chara! Snap out of it!” You were shaken awake and the world swiveled around you. You heaved, only some burning spit coming up. Your ears buzzing. You felt like dying. You wanted to die so much right now. The pain and the sensation of losing control were making you delirious and feverish.

Pain. Pain. Someone save you. You didn’t want to do this. You wanted home. You wanted mommy. You didn’t want to fight. Stop it. Stop him. You weren’t Player, you were David—

“Chara, stay with me. I called the hospital. They’re sending a taxi to pick you up.”

Taxi? Mommy planned on using a taxi to go to school today. She said that first day of school was very important and not to be late. Daddy shrugged when asked, winking while securing his kippah and fixing yours that was dangling from your head.

Sounded like fun—

Your cheeks were pinched and you blinked, the house’s insides swirling and slowly replaced with the familiar interior of the diner. You were in an embrace. A very warm and comforting embrace…

“Chara…”

Frisk? You turned your head and saw Frisk’s uncovered head lower to you, eyes narrowed with worry and lip bitten on with anxiety. The moment Frisk noticed your stare, they slumped in relief and adjusted their arms that you now realized were holding you. She buried her face in your shoulder, her hair blocking your view and filling your nostrils with her earthy scent.

Your body relaxed and you raised a shaking arm to hold her closer, hiding your face in her hair. She was trembling, but she held tightly. You slowly felt the buzzing fade and her breathing was becoming everything. Her heartbeat soothing your headache.

Frisk was here. She was safe. Everything was okay…

You had hurt Undyne while losing control. You didn’t challenge her properly like you always do when wanting a fight – you attacked her. Your visions. The pain. The… memory? Was that from you before Asriel found you? It seemed like a really happy memory… what happened to your biological parents?

Why did you forget?

…

You needed to talk with mom.

[shamankingasakuraworld]

Butterflies on wind

Cave is dirty and damp, just as wasted wreckage of Tadatomo-sama’s rival and predecessor, Yamada Douma. He smiles with rotten teeth, muddied rags almost fine in light of single candle, and it takes all of Daitaro’s two-facedness and skill not to burst in laugh or roar as he sucks up to second most powerful shaman in Japan, one dragging Tadatomo-sama’s name through mud.

‘‘Humph...A fox’s child, no less? Haha. Is That Tadatomo so euphoric that he’s going senile or what?’‘ Douma laughs, and it takes all of his restraint not to punch him until his face is nothing but bloody mess, no matter the consequences. His rusty, screeching laugh, his matted hair and dirty fingernails, his eyes greedily shining at thought of demon’s son.

Douma is a fool, Tadatomo-sama always spoke, fool who can’t see beyond his own nose. As if his putrid, wasted power can compare to Tadatomo-sama’s knowledge and skill. As if his dirty demons can hope to stand against Imperial shikigami. 

As if Daitaro would betray man who gave him everything because of some demon’s whelp. He will play this fool like child, will use his power and resources, ones idiot has been building up for years to try to sabotage Tadatomo-sama, and he will be savior and hero and bring glory to both his teacher and himself while Douma will rot ( and maybe Tadatomo-sama gets tired of stupid brat and throws him out, and then he and Douma can have each other. Mappa wouldn’t care at all, Daitaro knows, and if he got bored he could eat Douma’s liver without anybody being bothered).

‘‘Don’t fail me, Daitaro.’‘ Channel your anger, your hatred, make him think you are seeing Mappa instead of him.

‘‘Of course not. Monk Douma’‘ Words still make him feel like traitor.

They are writing scrolls and charms as Daitaro plans to steal talismans that would give him control over Douma’s spirits, control that almost seems like what Mappa can do by will alone.

There are others beside him and Mappa, senior onmyoji with decades of experience, and yet they are so far below them as peasants are below nobles, for all he and Mappa are children and sitting in last row (soon, if gods bless him, it will be just him).

Accidental glance makes his eyes narrow as blinding surprise crosses his mind. What the hell? Has Tadatomo-sama taught him to write too? His blood boils at thought of Mappa receiving such basic and yet intimate lessons from his teacher.

‘‘...It wasn’t Tadatomo-sama . believe it or not, it was an oni I learnt this from.’‘ Mappa’s voice cuts quietly through air, soft and cold like leaf on winter breeze. For second Daitaro is humming before surprise hits him like ox, and he turns, eyes wide and fingers bent to Mappa, still writing without passion or care.

Words flow from Mappa, like icicles and needle upon Daitaro’s earbuds.

Oni.

Power to read minds.

Abandon your plan before he finds out.

They are on bridge, over small stream, long leaves gently draping over them, swaying on wind. Daitaro leans, stunned and sprawled out, while Mappa still stands prim and proper, cold and bored, as if he hasn’t just revealed great secrets, as if he hasn’t just spoken tale of tragedy and death and fire and loss and blood and pain. Without hint of emotion he talked about his mother burning to death, about smashing Densen Hoshi’s brain at age of five, about Ohachiyo leaving.

he isn’t sure what to say. It is great thing, secret like no other, monumental, life changing tragedy Mappa shared with Daitaro as if talking about weather. Daitaro finds himself grateful and wary, and talking about his birthmark and thinking about all great stuff Tadatomo-sama did for him which is same as talking to Mappa, as if to justify himself. Mappa doesn’t seem to care, just as he doesn’t care about Daitaro being traitor (who knows how many times he heard such thoughts,over and over).

‘‘Whether their intentions are good or bad, the truth is, all people live only for themselves.’‘  Mappa talks, and speaks of wisdom that is hard to earn and harder to bear, and of past that should have reduced him to tears. And Mappa is so cold and experienced and  Daitaro doesn’t believe he sees himself as human person for all his claims that his mother wasn’t demon, and Daitaro actually has to remind himself that yes, Mappa is his age or possibly even younger.

But mountains were once young too, Daitaro thinks and knows Mappa was born to be ancient. He is first snowflake of ice age, first drop of world wide flood, first ember of fire that shall consume world, first spark of star that shall be heart of galaxy.

 And he knows that one day, when all people have fallen and  turned to dust, when empires and kingdoms are forgotten and languages and cultures dead, when heart of Earth stops pulsing and stars are snuffed out, that when world is lost to fire and ice and dark and death, Mappa Douji will be last one left standing in oblivion, cold and uncaring and bored.

‘‘If so, then I want to transcend humanity. Someday, after I surpass Tadatomo-sama, I’d like to see the world ahead. And be free, no matter where I go. Even if that made God and Buddha turn against me.’‘ And Mappa raises his hand, reaches towards sky as if he wants to rip Sun from sky, and for first time Daitaro sees small smile grace his lips, his eyes burning with spark of that mad conviction he saw that first night when nude Mappa walked to his room, and it may seem strange and unnerving to see Mappa passionate and living and almost-soft, and he is as beautiful and pure and unsullied like budding of first spring flower, like first drop of dew and light of dawn, like first star and breath of life.

Daitaro should be scared, and is bit, because Mappa knows his secret and not even his mind is safe, and what if in some dark hour of deep night Mappa whispers his plan during lovemaking?

Part of him is angry, should be angry, that Mappa dares compare himself to Tadatomo-sama, dares dream of surpassing him.

Part of Daitaro is honored, should be honored, because Mappa deigned to get this close with him, share something so personal and show what might be some sort of emotion despite...despite everything.

He should be surprised, and partly is, because this power and desire and past is not what he should have expected, what he could have expected, and Mappa actually claims to be mortal (Daitaro saw him bruise and bleed but still it didn’t feel right, to think of Mappa as something as fragile and simple as human)

But most of all...

‘‘Haha! I had no idea you were this amusing, Mappa Douji! Nice! Then let me join in your quest.’‘ Mappa says nothing, face blank and empty, but Daitaro doesn’t care as this is more than he could have expected of Mappa ever.

Not so far away-but it still feels so-Tadatomo and Douma wait.

Mappa claims to be neutral and uninterested in taking sides, which is why he doesn’t care about tattling traitor like daitaro (and he should, Tadatomo-sama should punish him for this is how Daitaro thanks him after everything). Were it somebody else, Daitaro would have scoffed and mocked them (if it wasn’t some greater noble, then he would have bowed and smiled and agreed).

Neutrality is lie.  Every action, even if it seems like nothing, is taking of a side. Every choice places you under somebody else’s dominion,  every act puts you in somebody’s debt, and trying to be neutral simply means trying to avoid getting harmed in fight and going along with winners. Neutrality is coward’s lie they tell themselves to feel better at night.

But Mappa? Mappa is neutral in same way earth and water take no sides. Everybody walks over earth and everybody drinks water, and everybody stomps on Mappa and uses him in some way. And just as everybody dies when earth shakes and everybody drowns when water pours, Mappa knows everybody’s secrets (some day, he will be strong enough to pierce even Tadatomo-sama’s mind and scoops up what it holds inside) and no matter how strong all die when Mappa’s onis feast.

Thing with fighting Mappa, Daitaro decides, is that you can’t win because he isn’t playing along. He simply doesn’t care enough for him to bother competing against somebody, and how do you win against somebody whose reaction to combat offer would be to continue dusting inkpots-Mappa of all people would be last to care about rumors and honor and bravery and slander.

Daitaro is half-convinced that Mappa bleeds because it’s expected to, and that if Daitaro managed somehow to stab him without Mappa or his power noticing his skin wouldn’t even be scratched.

No, Mappa doesn’t fight because he sees nothing in this world worth victory or nothing to be seen as prize. He simply watches without notice, knowing everything and keeping all secrets. When Daitaro dies, he expects to see Mappa as scribe and witness of King of Hell.

He doesn’t dare consider what would happen if Mappa cared about something.

This Daitaro doesn’t think of when Mappa is near.

Mappa claims that his mother wasn’t kitsune, that he isn’t demon child, that oni Ohachiyo confirmed to him that his mother wasn’t fox. But Daitaro thinks, wouldn’t demon protect another demon? Or maybe Ohachiyo wasn’t  all that informed-after all, he claimed that demons never harm humans too.

Mappa can control demons, speak to them, hold hundred oni in his body. Mappa doesn’t speak like human, behave like one, think like one. His voice, his face, each his movement is lacking any semblance of human feelings, as if they died in fire that took his home. He doesn’t care about life, about prestige, about connections.

Daitaro isn’t sure if Mappa can properly feel. Not when Mappa refuses Tadtomo-sama’s love (bears silently what happens at night). And just how could human child eat soul of demon and take his power.

Humans sometimes become demons after death. Is it possible for them to become ones during life? Did Ohachiyo’s rearing and his lessons and oni in his body taint Mappa’s soul? Did upon renaming him Ohachiyo steal something from Mappa? Did pain and sorrow of boy who used to be Mappa Douji, and dark thoughts of humans transform Mappa in something else, using up his passion and heart in process?

Was that woman, Asanoha, truly a simple shaman, or a true demon is disguise? Or perhaps father Mappa never knew, of which Asanoha never spoke, father of whom Mappa didn’t even think to ask before  Daitaro did (and Mappa shrugged and answered never knew him, never needed him, never thought of him). Or did, as some old legends claim, Asanoha find a spirit child on her footstep, or carve child out of clay and wood and blood and ask demons to revive it?

He would like to be friends with Mappa, after everything is settled, but whenever he looks upon boy’s face he remembers old warnings about hungry ghosts and cunning kitsune and dark demons and something primal and instinctive in him screams.

Mappa, for all his faults, eats with proper etiquette, even if he just takes crumbs unless it’s Tadatomo-sama feeding him. Once, he brings him bread and rice and throws it in air.

‘‘Here! Eat as you like, no need for manners!’‘ And in blink of eye, Mappa jumps and catches and cradles food  in his hands and sinks his teeth in it, madly gobbling it all up as if he is on brink on starvation, as if he doesn’t even notice taste, as if he could (would, had) eaten rats and corpses. It still doesn’t look right-his nails shouldn’t be blunt but claws, his teeth fangs and not molars and what you have

Daitaro laughs. Mappa could eat his throat and he wouldn’t stop smiling.

‘‘Why don’t you try to make allies at court?’‘

‘‘Why do you?’‘

‘‘Because they are powerful and can make your life easier, of course!’‘

‘‘Really? Can they stop rain, or make crops grow, or turn knives to dust, or build house overnight, or heal plagues?’‘

‘‘Don’t be silly Mappa-that’s stuff of fairy tales!’‘

‘‘That is power.’‘

‘‘Well, yeah, but nobles have different power, power over people, state us.’‘

‘‘Only as long as you listen to them.’‘

‘‘If you don’t listen your head will fly.’‘

‘‘Perhaps. It wouldn’t be so bad. And maybe theirs would.’‘

‘‘Well, yes, but don’t let anybody hear you saying that.’‘

‘‘It all boils down to war and fighting.’‘

‘‘You make them sound like animals.’‘

‘‘Please. Animals aren’t greedy or cruel.’‘

‘‘Bwahaha! That’s good one! But seriously don’t let them hear.’‘

‘‘But says we accept they have power over people. That power doesn’t always work. Not on ones not conditioned to serve.’‘

‘‘If some other country’s citizen killed noble there would be repercussions. maybe even war.’‘

‘‘And we return  to it...What of bears?’‘

‘‘....What?’‘

‘‘How does that power fare against wild beasts, like for example, bear with rabies? Wouldn’t one able to stop even such creature have true power?’‘

‘‘Mappa Douji, do you really think you could kill bear with rabies?’‘

‘‘Maybe kill. Maybe calm down. Power isn’t only violence. That is such human way of seeing things.’‘

‘‘Do you believe you can achieve such power?’‘

Mappa says nothing. Daitaro looks at fragile, timid butterflies nesting on Mappa’s fingers and remembers hordes of demons, armies of oni crowding around Mappa on day Tadtomo-sama found him and thinks about possibility that he already received answer.

‘‘Momo-chan found herself lover.’‘ he gosssips, as he sometimes does. Mappa needs somebody to keep him up on importance of palace happenings.’‘Some samurai, not even thirty. She got quite lucky.’‘

‘‘Takeshi-sama, rich, boisterous, twenty five. Momo is quiet, scared and thirteen.’‘ They sit in silence before Daitaro coughs and leaves.

Mappa stares at  floor, thinking of bruises on his shoulders, of fears fostering in Momo’s head and sick thoughts in Takeshi’s,of ...appointment he has tonight, or horrible old men rotting alive and ponders whether somebody would think of demons if oni tore certain samurai’s bowels out.

‘‘Do you like anybody, Mappa Douji?’‘ It is foolish question, for Mappa Douji needs nobody, desires nobody, and has Tadatomo-sama, who is more worthy than gods.

‘‘Not really.’‘ Daitaro isn’t sure if mappa is answering to what Daitaro thought of, or liking in general.

‘‘Would you want to?’‘ Question is stupid but day is long and they have nothing better to do.

‘‘I don’t need to. I have no use for relationship. But if it didn’t hurt it wouldn’t be unwelcome.’‘ Mappa whispers, watching petals fall and fall.

‘‘And does somebody like you? Did you catch anything?’‘ Daitaro spoke, venom almost gone from his voice as memory of Tadatomo-sama having Mappa lick honey from his fingers arose. Mappa’s face remained as impassive as it always was.

‘‘The cook’s helper saw me trying robes for ceremony three days ago and thought I was cute and hopes to catch time to talk with me when I’m alone. One guy finds me interesting and has been trying to talk with me for month but he is too nervous.’‘

‘‘Oh?’‘ Daitaro’s smile rises at juicy gossip. ‘‘And what do you think of them?’‘

‘‘She is hardworking but wants man who cares for court struggles.  He writes nice poems but he is nervous about everything, especially spirits.’‘

‘‘Their families?’‘

‘‘Unimportant to me. To you, they are both lowborn.’‘

‘‘Pfff.’‘ Daitaro sighs. ‘‘Only reason why you should meddle with servants is if you want some quick encounter. And poets are nice but useless if they aren’t nobles.’‘ There should be only one scheming bastard in relationship.And poetry is beautiful and highly valued by court which is why you should always praise it, but Daitaro cannot understand what good they do to world ( it is only with Mappa that he is so honest which makes sense-why pretend when he can read minds).

‘‘There is more to relationship than status and sex.’‘ Daitaro chokes at word.

‘‘Mappa Douji! You are never blatant in polite company! You should be subtle and indirect!’‘ Same argument, rehashed so many times.

‘‘But I don’t want to advance at court, so I don’t have to bother with coating words to pretend they are something else when everybody sees it.’‘Mappa, thankfully, never points out profanities Daitaro spews when he gets angry.

‘‘Well, it must be great having somebody love you.’‘ This time bitterness escaped his voice. When you had strange powers and no birthmark.

‘‘That noble you talked to last week thinks you have good way with words, and she found you fun. And that one samurai who is always sneaking around thinks you are handsome and exciting.’‘ Said noblewoman was very jealous person, and samurai liked to fight, but it wasn’t Mappa’s place to fix everybody’s problems.

‘‘Shut up.’‘ Daitaro spat out as his palms folded in fists, and he almost broke his teeth by  gritting over each other. ‘‘Don’t be so cruel. Not when you are so lucky.’‘ Memory rose, of one time Tadatomo-sama took Mappa on his lap.

It was silent, and sharp, and faster than wind. Mappa was in front of him, cold and empty save for wild, burning eyes, and he caught Daitaro’s arms with force that would shame bear, holding him in place as if Daitaro was but a leaf. Their lips were breath away.

Mappa’s sleeves were rolled up, exposing his thin arms and their bruises, and rim of his robes was lowered over his shoulders, showing numerous, bloody bites, purple black like plums. And then daitaro felt something bitter and deep and hot enter his mind, violate it beyond description..

Small. So small. So small as he is held down, bound by spirit and hands, things inside him sealed and kept down and controlled by charms, things that were only remnant of his friend, things that were only ones protecting him, so small as that cruel, self-righetous bastard forces him and he can do nothing and everybody speaks of honor... Then let them have it! Let them be fucked by that old shit, let them, let them

Mappa’s hold loosens, and Daitaro sees small demons manifest and crawl over him, purple-grey-transparent with claws and teeth and buglike eyes and otherworldly shrieks and runs as Mappa watches with his oni.

Daitaro runs. He has ceremony and plan to prepare for.

Ceremony starts and stops.

Spirits comes and tadatomo-sama stands in position.

Daitaro dies with fading, worried smile on lips, surprise and betrayal in eyes and katana in abdomen.

Mappa screams.

City burns.

[junker-town]

A design expert and an idiot review ‘The Simpsons’ themed hockey jerseys

Is this the best theme jersey of all time?

The Springfield Thunderbirds of the AHL are making a big play to get Springfield, Massachusetts recognized as the true Springfield to coincide with the 30th anniversary of The Simpsons.

What if your favorite hometown hockey team was called the Springfield Ice-O-Topes? What if, on February 1st, the T-Birds become the Springfield Ice-O-Topes for one day only? Happy 30th Anniversary #TheSimpsons To learn more and purchase tickets ️>> https://t.co/ybchXe1cbi pic.twitter.com/99ldbQwTCm

— Springfield T-Birds (@ThunderbirdsAHL) December 17, 2019

The jerseys will be used as part of a promotional night on February 1st where the team will be renamed the “Ice-O-Topes,” in honor of the sports franchise of the same name in the show. The first look at the jerseys is astonishing. The bright yellow is eye-catching, the donut accents are a bold touch — but how good are these uniforms really?

It’s time for Tyson Whiting, Senior Designer at SB Nation and a design expert to review these for their worth alongside me, James Dator — resident design idiot.

Tyson, an expert:

Color: Right off the bat, the colors were the first thing that hooked me. They are SO strong. The yellow, the soft light blue, the pink! The color carries this jersey and drives home the Simpsons vibe. Maybe I am just a suckers for a nice deep yellow. Oh my god the socks are so good too!

Layout: I love the center stripe because it highlights the logo really well. The number on the sleeve sits nicely on there too. I feel as though the bottom stripes could have gone with one or the other. The detail on both compete in the hierarchy, and creates a slight distraction. I’d personally stick with the donut pink stripe, but I would make the sprinkles feel more random and less uniform. The horizontal sprinkles feel unnatural, and tad forced. The neck design on this jersey is unique and simple and considered with its blue tones. I wanted to mention it because something like that goes unnoticed and it is very nice.

Logo: I love this logo. Everything plays nicely together. I’d maaaaybe make the electric bolts a little bigger, but not totally necessary. I prefer the jersey logo where the center (nucleus?) is just a pink dot, and not a donut. I see what they are doing there to really drive home the Simpsons theme but it gets back into the idea that too much detail on a logo makes it busy. I don’t hate the donut when all is said and done though. It might not have needed the white boarder around it, but I can take it or leave it. Boarders tend to make things feel trapped but I don’t think it goes that far here. It is a nice logo considering what it is trying to do. It pays homage to the original logo and also the Simpsons as a whole.

Alt Logo: This logo knocks it out of the park. The remake of their usual logo in the Simpson style is clever and perfectly executed.

Overall thoughts: I picked at a few subjective details and I think it was fair considering how awesome this jersey is technically overall. If I was a T-Bird fan I’d buy this so fast (Hershey Bears fan here!) Everything goes together so well and does an incredible job at being one of those “theme night” jerseys without looking like hot trash. Because, we all know “themed” jerseys are all trash and I stand by it. I love hockey. I love The Simpsons. I love this jersey.

James, an idiot:

Color: I’m getting some SERIOUS Nick At Nite nostalgia vibes here which I’m super into. I know this is for The Simpsons, one of my favorite shows of all time — but this has a serious Hey Arnold! feel too, which I’m into. I personally don’t think I can pull off yellow, but if i had to wear yellow it would be this yellow.

Layout: There is so much going on and I’m here for it. I know Tyson thinks it’s a little busy, but when I’m looking for a tacky-ass theme jersey I’d rather it go all the way and blow me away with just how much it all is. I like donuts. I’m less of a fan of radiation since watching Chernobyl, but I can still get down with everything this jersey is giving me.

Logo: “Yassssssss!” is pretty much my only reaction here. I love the typical atom design with the donut at the center because it confirms my personal bias that donuts should be at the center of everything. This might sound weird when we’re talking about a tacky theme jersey, but there’s something almost classy about the logo. It looks like it could be a real logo a team is using seriously (and not just for a theme night) aside from the donut. I really like the juxtaposition.

Alt logo: I’m a tad bit disturbed the bird has Homer’s hair because it creates a fanfic rabbit hole I don’t want to travel down. Otherwise it’s perfect. This was either done by an actual Simpsons’ artist, or a really, really good facsimile of one.

Overall thoughts: I really want to buy one of these jerseys. I wish the team had gone for “Isotopes” rather than the extremely on the nose “Ice-O-Topes,” but that’s a pretty minor quibble. This is the best theme jersey I have ever seen in any sport, and that is an astonishing accomplishment for any team.