#I feel like super weird right now

[somnimagus]

colored some more things from my sketchbook! zelda edition this time

[id in alt!]

[front-facing-pokemon]

[moeblob]

I just really like him tbh!

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

four walls playlist

[wreckedhoney]

do i Dar e put this in the main tag even though it is So dumb So silly but also does anyone dig phantom of the opera. does anyone dig it enough to begin making very light and superficial au's.

it's the radio station for kfam. kurt m is falling out of grace with station management, more so because of the Curse that's increasingly gotten worse within the station itself as well as the town. forrest nash is getting booted out of chicago. alas, he finds a mysterious letter addressed to him that a position will soon be open in gallows creek, so off he rides, melancholy into the behemoth of a building, in a dark and spooky town.

kurt m has been scared off, but forrest doesn't believe in ghosts, doesn't believe in demons, and the only person "living" in the basement, "underground," is clive, the janitor, and it's not like he never goes home, so what's the big deal?

until after his first week(?), peggy leaves slightly earlier than he does, and forrest is left alone only to hear a faint whistling coming from alllll the way down the stairs.

[fictionadventurer]

All the tour groups in Springfield should be very proud of me for how well I refrained from sharing all my fascinating Lincoln facts.

[firenati0n]

so I learned today that my dissertation that I thought I monumentally fucked up actually got the highest mark I could have achieved, and I am now the proud owner of a master's degree, and I may be getting fucking published, and a year's worth of tension and stress is finally starting to seep out of my body, and my nervous system can maybe have another fighting chance at regulating (unlikely), but—

The first thing my friends and family said to me was "proud of you!" and in the same breath they all, independently, said "you better also be proud of yourself" and then my mother said "your happiness always seems to be short-lived and fleeting, why is that?" and then she hit me with a "you stress yourself out to the point of illness and work yourself crazy only to enjoy none of the results" and—

boy howdy was I at a loss for words because she's right and i hate hearing my close friends and family echo the same sentiment of: I simply do not allow myself to enjoy any fruits of my labor???? I will bleed myself dry for validation and achievement and praise and love and then feel completely fucking insane for even wanting it in the first place.

It's why I stopped writing, why I abandoned so many threads. I wasn't getting any validation. I felt totally worthless.

and then I feel depths of shame previously unexplored at my Big Age for wanting some rest and peace (ironic that i beat myself up for wanting to recharge after I literally studied psych and wellbeing and the importance of rest!!).

I guess I just feel selfish for wanting to celebrate myself sometimes. And feel unable to be happy for myself because I hate boasting. So I'm going to hold myself accountable and say that I'm proud of all I've overcome to get to this point in my life, a point I did not anticipate being at 5 years ago, or even a year ago.

Onwards and upwards. 💛

p.s. I could not have finished that fucking dissertation without the emotional support of the gazillion rwrb fics I read throughout my writing process. I genuinely used ao3 as a coping mechanism and a rewards system for me to power through what was probably the hardest year of my life (for many reasons beyond academic).

to all of my writer/creator/artist/friend mutuals and the general rwrb fic/art community (I know you won't see this but i love you all the same), please know that any gratitude I express will never be enough. if I've ever screamed in your inbox or comments sections, know that it comes from a place of deep, genuine, at times debilitating emotion. y'all literally kept me afloat during some of the worst months of my life. You continue to keep me afloat. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I know your words, and that is a privilege.

[oneguardian15]

anyone else ever get like emotionally dependent on a certain hyperfixation? like your main and nearly only source of joy comes from that thing and content for it and it’s like the main thing you think about or that’s in the back of your mind all day? and it’s like you’re so dependent on it, and you’re aware of it, to the point where it’s like you’re blissful but also deeply sad at the exact same time when thinking about it or consuming it? it’s like a bone deep euphoric melancholy… and it’ll consume you for a while until you slowly become less dependent on it. and it’s like you don’t get to choose when that is. it just happens. either slowly or all at once. maybe another hyperfixation takes it place or something. anyway, yeah, i get like that sometimes. never know how long it’ll last.

[waitineedaname]

wild how having something weird with your brain will have your brain reacting weirdly to things that are nice and good

[crimeronan]

watching alfie become catastrophically enamored with lunter over the course of thanks to them was so fucking funny i LOVE showing toh to new people. everyone gets something slightly different out of it. and it is Literally Always Hilarious.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[sysig]

If your eye causes you to [fear], pluck it out (P1 | P2 | P3 | B) (Patreon)

[machinedramon]

u ever make a decision that feels so divinely influenced it almost makes u believe God exists and sent an angel down to you specifically

[astranauticus]

a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy

translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner

Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)

I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me

the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence

specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong

'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all

'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore

How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)

(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)

definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time

"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works

'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring

specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath

'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH

the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')

fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.

Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)

finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually

the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this

'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay

'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back

'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general

'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...

[todayisafridaynight]

time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist