#i would like to note that often the music i write to isn’t the same as the music i listen to for me

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

four walls playlist

[salaciousdoll]

· · Just in: Kento Nanami isn’t tolerating his young hot neighbor party habits, here’s what he has to say · ·

･˳ . ⋆ Reporting Live from Kento Nanami and Next door neighbor!Fem!reader ･˳ . ⋆

୨⍣୧ ⁺⁎˚ ⋆━━ Warnings : smut, Nanami is a hard!dom, hair pulling, creampie, fucked through orgasm, pet names( stupid bunny, slut, etc.), degradation is big time here, bed breaking( not just the head board), breeding kink, Nanami talks about getting you pregnant, hardcore, reader is mind fucked, Nanami is pussy drunk, reader is dick drunk, fluids( cream, squirting, drool), if I’m missing anything let me know WC: 1,081

MDNI, 18+

ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ┈•ﾟNote from salaciousdoll: Please do note this was just to poke and have fun, it’s not gonna be perfect so don’t expect it. Anyways, hope you all enjoy my 35 min writing and yes I know this troupe and idea been used a thousands times, act like it hasn’t 😭 Nanami ass may be ooc here, idk.

Nanami always kept his eyes out for the new neighbor who threw parties with mountains of people coming in and out. He was pretty tired of the parties you throw even if you never introduced yourself to any one of your neighbors. You were young and everyone in this neighborhood was either stepping into their 30s or older than that. Only reason he knew you were young was because of how often he’ll see you leave and come in with different boys and girls.

The parties you threw were rowdy and full on project x type beat except without trashing your house. Nanami would be sleep and all he would hear is screams, music, and even the sound of fucking near his window. It’s like you didn’t care about anything or anyone, not even the complaints or calls from the police the other neighbors sent.

So Nanami didn’t care about the way you were clawing at his chest with your long, pretty acrylics as he gripped your hair in a tight ponytail— pounding into your pussy from beneath you with no mercy. The squelching sounds weren't enough to make him stop, in fact, that’s the sole reason he kept going. He ignored your cries and scrambling to get away from him because of how good he stretched your little hole out.

“ you’re not lasting like I thought you would… I mean sluts last long, so why aren’t you?”, Nanami grunts into your ear, his hips thrusting up into your weeping pussy, angrily. He didn’t care about the bed hitting the wall as he fucked you like the whore you’re mother wouldn’t be proud of.

You coughed and tried to make eye contact with him, but his grip on your hair was too much for you to see his face under you. So you cried out your frustration through crystallized vision, “ M’not a slut. Please slow down, Mr. Nanami.” Your sweet little moans and whimpers were beautiful.

Nanami let out a loud growl like moan and wrapped one arm around your body while he now had some of your ponytail tangled and wrapped into his hands, he was making your hair messy just like he was making your pussy messy. You partially regretted coming on because of the dare, but in the same breath, you were happy because now you’re living two of your fantasies.

“ You are. You are. Nnnhh, you’re a little slut that’s been disturbing this neighborhood since you stepped foot in here. Shame on you, did your mother and father teach you anything or are you too dumb of a bunny to understand. Fuck!”, Nanami grunts out his words because of how tight your fluttering walls wrapped around his dick.

Nothing but cries and little chokes escaped out of your mouth. You couldn’t form basic words, how dumb can you be? Nanami balls were slapping on your puckered hole from how fast and rough he was going. You gave up on digging your nails into his chest because you were so fucked out and tired from the pounding he’s giving you. So now your bare chest was pressed onto his bare chest, sweat glands producing from both of you.

“ Please! Please! Please! M’gonna m’gonna— uhhnnn.”, your moans were suppressed by his smooth lips. You were screaming into his mouth as you squirted over his pelvis, his balls, and legs. Some of it was getting on his sheets and he didn’t care one bit. He was too angry at you to see how messy you’ve gotten his covers.

You tried to scramble off him because you were squirting too much and the pressure of it all was too much especially for your already beaten up pussy. It’s like Nanami has superhuman speed and stamina. He sped up even more faster as he fucked up into you, you and your pussy screamed and cried.

Nanami grunts were beginning to become broken, “ Sh-ittt, s’good, pussy is so good squirting like that. I guess all those boys coming in and out of your house taught you how to milk cock, perfectly.” Your eyes widened and then they rolled back into your head at the rolling of his hips hitting the inner thighs repeatedly.

As soon as he did one more snap of his hips, the bed frame broke underneath you two causing a loud noise to erupt from how hard it hit the floor. The poles attached to his bed fell in the opposite direction of you two. If someone were to walk in right now, they’ll see that it looks like a tornado hit his room with how broken the bed was. Yet that still didn’t stop him. He now had a great angle as he pounded your tired, wet cunt over and over with one knee propped up, so you were now fucking rapidly and properly. He felt your velvet walls sucking him in with your liquid coming out at the same time. You were perfect for his cock. Nanami’s cock was big, way too big for your pussy. He loved your pussy so much. He was too drunk on your pussy to understand that his bed broke.

“ My fucking slut, such an devilish little temptation you are, gonna breed this tight little pussy. Nghh! Hopefully that’ll get you to stop having these parties and fucking with those boy toys of yours…. Settle down and grow round and big with our child, how does that sound? Hmm.”, Nanami moaned as you were now creaming on his cock from how overstimulated you were.

Your brain was fogged and your words were slurred with drool hangin out your mouth as you answered him, well tried. Luckily he understood every word you said. “ Yesh—yess, I wan’ your babies. Ahnnn. Want to be full and bloated with your children, mmm mr. Nanami”

Nanami smirked in victory because now there were no more parties, boys, or loud music. Gotta love corrupting and breaking his pretty little neighbor.

ෆ ̟ ̇ ┈•ﾟ Tagging: @chosoist @simpingfor-wakasa @honeybleed and anyone else who wants to be tagged

ﾟ•┈© all right reserved to salaciousdoll, she does not give permission to steal, plagiarize, and translate.

[shiny-jr]

Oh man, just got caught up on all the Vil stuff of the last few days, and we simps be eating good!

So here’s my contribution to the ever-growing shrine: pre-confession darling always being polite to Vil, but a little distant, a little too star-struck to relax around him. Vil starts to wonder if he’s doing something wrong, if he isn’t good enough…

But THEN *dramatic music* darling’s bag falls over somehow, and some little Vil fan item falls out. Nothing crazy, maybe a button with his face on it, or a perfume model he advertised for that has his picture on the bottle. Something unmistakably fangirl-ish.

Darling only notices when Ace or Deuce points it out, then gets utterly mortified when she sees that Vil had also noticed. Stuffs it back in, tries to laugh it off, but can’t get away from the teasing that yeah, even though they’re still new to this world, they couldn’t resist spending some hard earned thaumarks, and that they’ve grown to admire Vil after the SDC.

Can you imagine? I’m sure Vil would be very nice and not too teasing in the moment, but the second he’s alone? Cue all the embarrassing squealing and rolling on the bed he’d never let anyone see. And the SMUGNESS!! Oh, he’ll be on cloud nine for the next few days, randomly smiling and causing heart attacks in the student population.

Even better, now knowing Darling is a fan, it’s SO much easier to get closer, to offer exclusive tickets to his next movie, to invite darling along on his next photo shoot. And any time darling gets embarrassed and tries to refuse, he can just catch their chin in his hand, and force eye contact as he pouts and reminds them that they’re his fan…

Warning: Yandere. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Vil Schoenheit.

Summary: Vil being a fucking simp for a fan MC.

Note: Y'all Vil simps have taken over this blog now. ARE YOU HAPPY? Had to write a bit for this because I saw it so vividly in my head. Normally I like to imagine MC kinda oblivious to trends and celebrities of Twisted Wonderland so they casually approach the elegant star Vil like "wazzup" but your idea is pretty fun too. Had to bust out my Vil playlist to write this one. ADDED: I just finished it. Have not edited or checked for mistakes. But I feel like its mid? Like, it’s not bad but it’s not good either. But I didn’t want to keep it in the drafts after completing it and I didn’t just want to delete it either. So I’ll post anyways, even though I’m not happy with it. 

Normally the class consisted of the first years, you'd sit beside Ace and Deuce, usually with Grim seated in your lap. Sometimes Jack, Epel, and even Sebek would be in the same class. But this time you were alone, despite the class being busier than ever.

Ace, Deuce, and Grim were caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing, as per usual. And they were promptly sent to see the Headmaster. Surprisingly you weren't called up, probably because you had been in the bathroom when it went down so you were exempt from detention. Jack, Epel, and Sebek made it to class on time, but they had arrived when the only seats left were across the room. Leaving you seated between unfamiliar third-years because of the joint class today. Well, most of them were unfamiliar, not all of them. Seated directly on your left was Vil Schoenheit, third-year, dorm leader of Pomefiore, and celebrity.

Schoeneheit had greeted you amicably with a rather friendly smile and a how are you? To which you responded with your own nervous smile and a polite response. Truthfully, you believe he only sat beside you because it was one of the only seats left, but you'd like to believe it was because he saw you in a good light now. Were you friends? Probably not. Maybe simple acquaintances was a better term. 

If you were being honest, he still intimidated you. You could recall the looks of disdain he often gave you and your companions before the audition, then there was his strict nature and the fact that he literally cursed your friends with a cake you were five seconds from taking a bite of. Not to mention his overblot and how his unhinged form seemed to focus on you so intently... Yeah, talk about nightmare fuel. But, you decided to give him another chance at possibly being friends. You knew he was famous, but you didn’t know he was famous enough to draw crowds. Which sparked your curiosity and led you to looking him up. What you found were various films, shows, advertisements, and magazines. He was like the actor Emma Watson, singer Britney Spears, and influencer Kim Kardashian all rolled into one. You still can’t believe you had no idea who he was and you had offered him a bowl of cheap instant noodles when he and the others were staying at Ramshackle. Embarrassing... 

You sat rigidly as Vil checked his appearance in the small hand-held mirror, making sure his looks were up to his standards before class began. Uncomfortably you shifted, deciding to occupy yourself by removing your notebook and writing utensils from the bag you kept as a barrier between you and the super star. As you did so, you failed to notice a tiny object fall out of your bag, but he noticed out of the corner of his eye. Curiously he plucked it up between his gloved fingers, about to return it when he took a closer look. 

It was an enamel pin, shiny and sparkling. However, it resembled his face. Or, to be more accurate, one of the characters he played in a recent series. It caused him to freeze, processing what this meant before he moved to tap your shoulder and held out his open palm with the pin on it. “You dropped this.” 

Confused, you turned your head and raised your eyebrow. That’s when you saw it. Your pin in his hand, the pin that looked exactly like him. Mortified, you quickly snatched it, attempting to laugh it off, but heat only began to creep up your neck when you noticed his smug smile. 

Vil propped up his elbow on the table, holding up his head as he remarked slyly, “I didn’t think you were a fan.” 

“Ahaha, yeahhhh... Sorry, is that weird?” 

“Not at all. I’m a little flattered.” Those amethyst eyes of his were studying you so intensely, watching your every little reaction. “I’m simply surprised. Most people tend to not like that character I portrayed, since they’re a villain and all.” 

“What’s wrong with that? I think villains are better than good guys anyways. They always have a better fleshed out backstory or reason for what they do. They’re more relatable, you know? And you did a really good job and making the audience feel for the character! They became my favorite! And–– Ah...” Realizing what you were doing, you shut your mouth. “I mean, you probably get that stuff a lot, huh? I’ll stop now.” 

His eyes were sparkling, surprised as his listened. When you paused, he insisted, “No, no, continue! Any and all feedback is appreciated. Besides,” Vil took the pin from your hands, and he lifted his fingers up to the upper half of your uniform where he pinned the accessory on your clothing. Beaming pridefully at the sight of the accessory, with his face on it, on your uniform, he hummed, “You said, I was your favorite, didn’t you? We still have a few more minutes before class. You’ll indulge me with more conversation, won’t you~?” 

❂     ❂     ❂     ❂     ❂ 

Once alone, Schoenheit allowed his bag to slip off his shoulder. It was a long class, three hours to be exact. Three hours... with you. He released a shaky breath, clutching the spot over his heart that was still beating at a faster than average rate. He could hardly believe his luck. When he heard that today there was to be a joint class between first-years and third-years, he instantly began prepping. He put more effort into his makeup, making sure it was perfect down to the exact particle. He sprayed on his sweetest smelling perfume and picked his cleanest uniform. 

At first he was worried that perhaps he was doing something wrong. You always appeared so... timid whenever he appeared. You could be joking and chatting animatedly with those pesky friends of yours (which he held a raging jealously towards), but when he entered the room, you would go quiet and avoid his gaze. He questioned and scolded himself for everything he did. Why did he used to look at you like a stain? Why didn’t he realize you earlier? Were his efforts at redeeming himself in your eyes, not good enough? Was it something about the way he dressed? Or acted? Or spoke? All this paranoia seemingly evaporated when he striked up a conversation. For the first time in weeks, you talked to him! And it wasn’t just a little chat about homework, or responsibilities, or school rumors. You spoke to him, about him! He knew by the pin and how you spoke about the series, that you had seen him on the show. You had been thinking about him! It quelled all his worries, as just yesterday he feared that you may have secretly loathed him for what he’s done or tried to do. 

As the memory came back to him of what just occurred, Vil clutched himself and squealed. He was already on the bed, rolling around on the sheets and pillows, resisting the urge to simply jump on his mattress and leap with joy! He could vividly recall the way you allowed him to scoot closer to point out some important material in the textbook, as you whispered a witty remark to him which he very quietly chuckled to in order to avoid being caught by the professor, and you even gave him your number! Of course it was to exchange notes and tips, you had said. But he’d use it for so much more than that. 

This was good first step, wasn’t it? You had officially bypassed the acquaintance stage and were now well on your way to the friend stage. Then, more than that, by that was all in due time. For now... 

Vil stopped his squirming, again feeling his heart that was now beating rapidly. Do you know the things he would do just for your attention? Oh, you truly have no idea of the lengths he would do, just for you. Gingerly picking up his phone, he read over the newly registered number. Your number. Slowly opening up a chat, he was partially disappointed to see it was completely empty. You hadn’t sent a thing. But, if all went well, it’d be full and constantly busy by tomorrow evening. His fingers danced across the screen as he typed out his message, reviewing what he wrote over and over again for any errors, any grammar mistakes, or another way to better word what he wants to say. Finally, after a good five minutes of anxiously staring at his screen, he pressed the send button, and watched the text come up in the chat. 

V: [ It was nice to talk to you again. If you’re willing, we should meet again. I got word that Professor Trein plans to have another joint class promptly, and he’ll assign a project so that the first years and third years work together. Would you like to get ahead and research in the library soon? ] 

Then he waited. And waited. And waited some more. After ten minutes, he feared he wouldn’t get a response. Had you given him the wrong number accidentally or purposefully? Was he coming on too strong? What if–– 

Ding! 

Instantly the screen lit up, displaying a new unread message which he hurriedly read. 

Y: [ Vil, right? Thanks for the heads up! Sorry for the kinda late reply Grim took my phone to play games. Anyways, yeah, that sounds good. I can meet you as soon as classes are over tomorrow, if that’s a good time for you?? ] 

V: [ That sounds perfect. ]

You poor thing, you truly don’t have a clue about what you’re getting into, do you?

❂     ❂     ❂     ❂     ❂ 

Again, Vil was prepared. He dressed flawlessly and got to the library early in order to have all the books necessary and stacked up on the table. He greeted you with a friendly smile, and you immediately got to work together. The blonde sat across from you, watching as you sketched out a rough look for the presentation that you wanted to show him and ask for his opinion. As he waited, he ignored the open book in front of him and instead watched at the way you focused on the paper, your hand moving with the pencil to create lines and shapes on the sheet. It was incredible that even the simple little things about you could captivate him. 

After a moment of watching you with a gentle smile and great intrigue, he opened his mouth, “Do you have any plans for afterwards?” 

You paused, looking up in confusion, “H-Huh?” 

“Do you have any plans for afterwards?” He repeated. “I mean, after our study session together. Do you have anything planned for afterwards?” 

“Oooh.” You shrugged before getting back to the sketch, answering as you finished up the drawing. “I mean, I left Grim with the ghosts but he gets grumpy if he doesn’t get tucked in. The Headmaster said Grim wasn’t allowed out, except classes, for at least two day. But, I might go buy some instant foods from Sam’s shop. Then I’ll lead home.” 

“Instant foods...?” Vil murmured incredulously, his smile immediately dropping. All those times he’d spied on you as you ate lunch with your friends, he always thought it was strange that you never ate when he saw you. Despite your company and even Grim eating. But now this? Instant foods? Was it possible that you didn’t have enough money to eat lunch? He was mortified. Swiftly he grabbed your wrist and carefully dragged you out of the library, “Come. Now.” 

“Wh–– What?? Where are we going? What about the project!” 

“A simple project can wait. Our stuff will be where we left it.” He continued to escort you down the hallways, towards what you recognized was the path leading to the cafeteria. That’s when he spoke again, his tone oddly stern, much different from how softly he spoke just minutes before. “You haven’t been eating properly, have you?” 

Your gaze drifted downwards, gazing at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, in order to avoid his stare. “... Hot pockets are still food.” 

“I mean real food.” When there was a lack of response, Vil became angry. Not at you, but at who was responsible. “That wretched crow hasn’t given you a decent allowance, has he? Tsk. I’ll be having a chat with him, but for now...” He led you to the front of the cafeteria, where there was no line. Other few students present were chatting at tables, having a late dinners after their clubs or study sessions. Vil stood behind you with his arms crossed as he instructed, “Order. And I’ll be watching to be certain you have enough on your plate.” 

You were quiet, gazing at the pastries, plates, meats, salads, and other delectable dishes past the glass counters. The menu overhead appeared endless, with a huge variety of food and drinks and desserts. It made your stomach grumble. It was a horrible reminder that you had barely eaten that day. You only had a cheap bag of chips that morning. Ashamed, you avoided his gaze once again as you muttered, “Vil, I can’t afford any of this right now...” 

“I wasn’t asking if you could afford it. I was instructing you to choose what you wanted. I don’t want your money, you could just pay me back in another manner.” When one of the ghost chefs came over, Vil placed a hand over your shoulder and used his other hand to point at several dishes, “My companion here will have one of these, two of those, and five of that. Yes, that plate right there. Oh, and a smoothie as well. Thank you.” Once the ghost was gone, Vil gazed back down at you. You still couldn’t look him in the eye. Carefully he reached forward, gingerly lifting your head up by your chin so you were forced to look at his eyes. His eyes that were normally so cold and judgmental, gazed at you so fondly. “Why won’t you look at me? Aren’t were close?” He pouted to sell the act. “I’m not about to neglect my own darling fan and let them go hungry. That’d be far too cruel. To pay me back, you can accompany me on one of our days off. Say... to see a new movie in town? Well, do you agree? Or shall I order you more plates and see your time to pay me back grow longer~? Surely spending time with me can’t be that bad?”

[nervocat]

hiii! i ABSOLUTELY love your 'dancing with the fontanians' publish and is it ok if i request the same type but sumeru characters? thank uuuuu

★ 📝 — notes: I actually wanted to do something like this but I didn't expect my last one to be received so well since I didn't try my best on it, but I'm glad you and many others liked it ^^

Also, quick heads-up: I don't know the Sumeru woman too well so if you, anon, or others reading this wanted more female characters, so sorry I only did a couple, and this again, isn't my favorite of my works, but it's not too bad I hope, and I'm so sorry this took so long to do.. my motivation just kinda plummeted to write this (not that I didn't like it). Not proofread btw, will read later (maybe)

       — word count: 1.1k , fandom: genshin impact , cw: none — ✦

                     " Dancing with the Sumerians "

★ — Kaveh

     Kaveh doesn’t know how to dance, like at all. He only knows the positions so if you don’t know how to dance either, you’re screwed. However, if you do know how to dance, he gets flustered at the thought of actually dancing with you in specific. Same with if you don’t know, but you two just fumble over each other and it just makes you two laugh.

     The first time you dip him, he starts to misstep and his face is red. He liked it though, so please do it again. Kaveh would like to try and dip you too though, but he was kind of clumsy with it. You two would normally dance in his room while you two dance to the typical classical music with sumerian touches to it. If you kiss him when you dip him, he'll straight up stop moving. He'll regain his composure though and grumble to himself before kissing you as well.

       Kaveh likes to be spun and then you lean him down, but not dipping him. He'll giggle about it later, and he'll try to do the same to you, but he'll probably fail. He tried though.

     He doesn't know how to dance at all, but either learning or teaching him is always fun and it's always fun with the blond. ☆

✦ — Alhaitham

     Also doesn't know how to dance. He's not as clueless as his roommate, but still doesn't know where to put his feet. When you two dance, it's in his room as well and he'll look deep into your eyes, analyzing the colors as he also focuses on his footing whether you're teaching him or not. He'll be smiling when he finally knows how to dip you and kisses you before pulling you back up.

     He learns quickly though so expect him to be able to dance good enough pretty soon. He also dances to the typical classical music, minus the Sumerian flare to it. Alhaitham overtime becomes a mediocre dancer and if need be, he’ll teach you some things if you didn’t teach him to dance. He doesn’t prefer to be dipped when dancing, but he’ll let it slide once or twice if you're able to dip him.

       He'll definitely spin you and kean you down and smile slightly while doing so. You probably won't do the same to him, but he'll let you try to do so.

     Overall, he’s an average dancer and learns quickly and dancing with him is definitely an experience. ✧

★ — Cyno

     Doesn't know how to dance either. He never took the time to learn so he just doesn't even know where to put his hands. If you don’t know how to dance either then expect to trip a few times and him making a pun about it. Cyno at least knows the music you’d dance to though.

      He pretty much will never dip you or really do anything romantic unless you ask and teach him. Once he does learn though, expect him to at least dip you or kiss you a few times and he’s pretty good at it. You two don’t dance often, but he tries to dance with you when you two are free. If you dip him, he’ll just simple and go with it, maybe a joke here and there.

     Dancing with Cyno isn’t very enthralling, but you know he loves you, you’ll just have to tolerate all the puns while dancing. ☆

✦ — Tighnari

     Knows how to dance to some extent. Tighnari knows where to put his hands, the basics of dancing, but his footing can be a bit off at times. He likes to dip you and smiles while doing so but wouldn’t mind being dipped either, he doesn't care. Tighnaris tail might gently wag on occasion as his ears would flick sometimes.

     Like Alhaitham, he learns quickly if you teach him some things and is very attentive to what you say. He mainly focuses on his ranger work, but has enough free time to either practice dancing with you or to just dance.

    Tighnari will dance with you when he can and sometime Collei will stumble in on you two and just leave you be, happy you two have an activity to do together. ✧

★ — Nilou

     She's a dancer, Nilou obviously knows how to dance, but might have to learn a few things for this type of dancing though. Even if you know how to dance you might learn a thing or two with her and she’d love to teach her lover how to dance, it’s her passion. She loves to dip you but also be dipped, and she wouldn’t really do things like kissing, but she would occasionally and let you smother her if you wanted to.

     You two would dance to all kinds of music and she'd like to explore different dances couples would do, learning as well as she went. If it's a special occasion, she'll give you a kiss on the nose or maybe on the lips if she's able to dip you. If not, she'll she'll it while spinning with you.

      No matter what gender you are, she doesn't care. As long as you'll dance with her, she'll dance with you. ☆

✦ — Lisa (added her here because she's from Sumeru)

     She knows how to dance as well. She’s not super experienced like Nilou, but she knows a little bit more than the basics. You two dance in the library when you two know no one will be around and she just puts on the typical classical music. You two have never really walked in on, but Paimon and Traveler did once.

    Lisa absolutely loves to dip you, but she also adores being dipped equally so, so it's a win-win for you two in whatever you prefer you prefer to do. She also likes to be spun around as much as she likes to be spun around. She'll be gently laughing when done with a smile on her face, her hat usually being off when she dances with you.

     Lisa absolutely loves dancing, especially with some sumerian flair, but she just loves you and will call you names of endearment throughout the dance. ✧

★ — Wanderer

     Dancing with him? He probably knows how to dance, but isn't willing to. Wanderer eventually caves in though, with the exception of some grumbling, and goes to dance with you. This is more of a one time thing, but he'll do it more if you politely ask him (with some poking a prodding).

     He won't be super romantic, but he'll spin and dip you and tease you with a smirk while doing so. Wanderer won't dance for long, but the short moment lets you know how much Wanderer genuinely loves you. By the end, he's slightly flustered and might walk off, but he'll probably stay around.

     Dancing with Wanderer is a rare opportunity, but it's a good experience with him and a rare moment of intimacy. ☆

🌊 ★ — © nervocat || I appreciate any reblogs made, and pls don't repost or translate my works anywhere, ty — ✦ 📖

[kumememe]

if you still got a Felix thirst how about a classic enemy to lovers fic! Like maybe they are rivals they turn everything into a competition, everyone already thinks they are dating but it isn’t until some one tells Felix about it he sees it. Bonus points if the reader is bragging about his win and Felix just kisses him

class fight (felix catton x m!reader [req])

note: this is so cute! though i wish i could have more of the other characters too. still, i am on my felix catton diet so i'll just pour out all my knowledge on this. warnings: not proofread, grammar is ICKY, just pure fluff.

let'sa go!

______________________________________________________________

once upon a monday afternoon, in bustling webbe college, were two ambitious souls that clashed against each other in the most unexpected way. who are these two? well, they were felix catton and y/n l/n, of course. the two were opposites of one another, striking a stark contrast; felix catton being the popular and affluent student, his brilliance shining effortlessly through the college campus, while y/n l/n was the quiet and kind one, exuding a demeanor that resonated deep within people like him. if felix was inside the busy clubs, bustling with loud music while he drank and danced the night away, picking and choosing people he wanted to chat up, y/n would be in his dorm room, pulling one all-nighter after another, drinking coffee until his heart pumped at a million beats per second.

their first encounter was rather pleasant, with felix, being the social butterfly he is, approaching y/n with interest as they were both new in oxford. y/n was civil and would talk to felix regarding school, greeting him and generally having pleasant chats with the aloof male. however, something changed one day when the professor set up a challenge. the challenge was for whoever finished their project first by the end of the week would get an incentive in their final grade average. with the two being competitive, they managed to finish and pass it at the same time. with a small fight between the two, the professor bargained and gave the points to felix, which infuriated y/n. ever since then, the two have been competitive with each other.

some days, it was all about playful banter, but other times, things got real. the serious moments often revolved around their studies and projects, igniting tension in the room. the palpable strain between them during classwork could be sliced with a butter knife, yet they couldn't resist clashing nonetheless.

even amidst their clashes, felix couldn't shake the feeling of missing the rivalry with y/n whenever they were apart. it seemed absurd, yet deep down, he understood that his life lacked a certain thrill without them. the banter, the tension—it was all a part of what made his days feel alive. it was strange, indeed, but at some point, he was starting to enjoy their competitiveness. their so-called "fights" were so amusing to him to the point where he couldn't help but smile when remembering the ridiculousness of each one: one where they clashed about whose writing is better, another where they argued about who scored higher in the major exams, and more. it was addicting.

felix stood in the halls of webbe college, talking to his posse as he recognized a familiar patch of hair walking by. he smirked, ready to tease his so-called rival named y/n. "hey, l/n. ready to score lower than me again?" he teased, smiling slightly as he saw y/n roll his eyes at felix, scoffing as he muttered, "you wish, catton." he stuck his tongue out playfully, walking past felix as he let his gaze linger for a bit. felix shook his head as he yelled out, "careful, you might trip on the next interim!" y/n turned back and showed him the middle finger, which made felix feign offense. y/n grinned as he walked away. felix watched him get smaller and smaller as he got further away, amused as he felt his heart beating faster.

felix's friend, noticing his lingering gaze, nudged him with a playful smirk. "hey, you seem awfully fixated on y/n. got a crush on him or something?" they teased, raising an eyebrow suggestively. felix scoffed, shaking his head vehemently. "as if! he's just my annoying competition," he retorted defensively, though his cheeks betrayed a slight flush. his friend chuckled knowingly but didn't press further, instead opting to change the subject. but as felix watched y/n disappear down the hallway, he couldn't deny the flutter in his chest, wondering if maybe there's more to their rivalry than meets the eye. it was just a mere question, but why did it make his heart stop, his stomach churn, and his cheeks flush with redness? he knew the answer but refused to let it out. instead, he swallowed it up inside and acted as if he wasn't aware.

at a quiet saturday afternoon, felix smokes a cigarette by his dorm room window as he rants about some interaction he had with y/n a few days ago. on the other side of the room was his half-cousin farleigh, who was typing away on his laptop as he listened lazily in half-interest. "- and he was so smug about it. it was so annoying, farleigh. seriously, if you saw y/n's face when he showed off his perfect marks, you probably would have been angry as well," felix said as he takes a puff of his cigarette.

farleigh rolls his eyes at his cousin, smirking as he continued his work. "god, the way you say it makes it sound like you're obsessed with him."

felix raises a brow at farleigh, turning his gaze onto the brown-skinned boy. "excuse me? obsessed is a stretch, isn't it?"

farleigh shakes his head, "i wouldn't say stretch, honestly. it's just a fact." he says bluntly, before chuckling. "i mean, you guys basically look like you're a couple."

felix stops in his tracks, feeling his cheeks heat up as he clears his throat, acting as if that doesn't hit a nerve in him. "pfft, as if." he said defensively, studying farleigh's slightly surprised expression at his words.

"…what?" felix mutters.

"wait… you aren't dating each other?" farleigh asks quietly.

"yeah- no, we aren't."

. . .

"…why? do you think me and y/n are dating?" felix answers quickly, a little too quickly which makes farleigh skeptical. however, the latter doesn't question it as he hums.

"you want me to be honest?" farleigh asks, to which felix gives him the silent approval with his eyes. "almost everyone i know thinks you two are dating. probably because of the way you look at each other." farleigh finishes, as he continued on with his work, leaving felix to think for himself as he looked outside the window.

realization hits felix at farleigh's honesty. it dawns on him like a sudden burst of light in the darkness of his mind. the countless banters, the heated debates, the shared glances filled with unspoken challenges—all of it flashes before him like scenes from a movie. in the midst of their competitive spirit, amidst the back-and-forth of their verbal fights, felix realizes that there's something more beneath the surface. it's not just about proving who's better anymore; it's about the exhilarating rush he feels whenever he's around y/n. the way his heart quickens at the mere thought of their next encounter, the warmth that spreads through him when they share a rare moment of camaraderie amidst their rivalry—it all points to something deeper, something he's been trying to deny but can no longer ignore. felix realizes, with a mix of astonishment and acceptance, that his feelings for y/n have evolved far beyond mere competition. they've transformed into something undeniable, something that he can no longer deny—a love that has grown from the seeds of rivalry.

he doesn't know what to do with this information, and just stares into the blue patches of sky.

______________________________________________________________

the next few weeks go by with felix's feelings only being further solidified at each interaction he had with y/n, in class, by the halls, by the field—his feelings intensified for the (skkin color) male. he found himself noticing every detail about y/n: the way his hair fell in messy waves, the sparkle in his eyes when he was passionate about something, the curve of his smile that could brighten even the gloomiest of days. every moment spent in y/n's presence seemed to deepen felix's affection, weaving its way into the fabric of his being until it became an inseparable part of him. despite his attempts to rationalize and suppress his emotions, felix couldn't deny the undeniable pull he felt towards y/n, a pull that grew stronger with each passing day. it was as if y/n had become the focal point of his universe, and no matter how hard he tried, felix couldn't escape the gravitational force of his love.

as the lecture ends, felix and y/n were called by the professor to congratulate them on how well they have been doing in class. the two would thank the professor gratefully, before y/n asks something. "so… may i ask who did the best for the last interim?" he said in an anticipating voice, and his professor pauses as he packs up his stuff.

once he packed up his laptop in his bag, " you really want to know?" he asks the two, in which they both nod. the professor sighed as he smiled at felix, then turning to y/n. "you did the best, you scored a point higher." he said as he swiftly makes an exit, yelling out a 'good job' as he did so.

y/n grins wide as he turns to felix, immediately begins teasing him. "ah! i win." he said in triumph, playfully sticking his tongue out as he celebrated. felix smiles fondly at the cute celebration, crossing his arms as he watches the latter brag about his exam. y/n notices how felix did not roll his eyes at him or become hasty to rebutt him, and slowly stops his mini celebratory dance. y/n smiles lightly, "why are you smiling? where's the snark?" y/n said as he lets out a light laugh, confused.

felix shrugs, walking towards y/n quietly with small grin. "well, you beat me fair and square." he said nonchalantly, "i'm impressed."

y/n licks his dry lips at the compliment, looking away as he lets out an awkard laugh. "oh stop, you're being weird." he says, "what have you done to the real felix catton?" he jokes.

however, felix doesn't laugh as he reaches over with his hand to cup y/n's face gently. y/n's breath hitches, his eyes widening in surprise at the sudden intimacy. a million thoughts race through his mind, but in that moment, none of them seem to matter as he leans ever so slightly into felix's touch, his heart pounding erratically in his chest. there's a fleeting moment of hesitation, a silent question hanging in the air, but as their eyes meet, all doubts seem to melt away. without a word, without a second thought, y/n leans in, meeting felix halfway in a tender, electrifying kiss that sends sparks flying between them. time seems to stand still as they lose themselves in each other, the world fading away until there's nothing but the warmth of their embrace and the sweetness of their connection. in that moment, everything feels right, as if they were always meant to find each other amidst the chaos of their rivalry, their differences melting away to reveal the undeniable truth of their love.

as the two pull away, y/n's mind whirls with a mixture of shock and realization. his lips tingle from the touch of felix's, and his heart races in his chest as he tries to process what just happened. he looks up at felix, his cheeks flushed with a deepening shade of red, his eyes wide with a newfound awareness. in that moment, it's as if a veil has been lifted, revealing the depth of his feelings for felix that he had been oblivious to before. the realization hits him like a wave, crashing over him with an intensity he can't ignore. he opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out, his mind too overwhelmed to form coherent thoughts. meanwhile, felix watches y/n's reaction with a mix of anticipation and nervousness, his own heart pounding in his chest as he waits for y/n's response, or at least, a coherent one.

y/n stutters, "i…i- what-" he tries to form coherent words, but nothing seems to pan out. felix chuckles at the latter's cuteness. "i've never seen you this flustered before, l/n." he teases.

"shut up!" y/n hisses as he tries to combat his flared up cheeks, "i just… i didn't-"

"mhm, yet you didn't back away." felix points out.

"i…" y/n trails off, looking at the ground before he takes a deep breath.

he decides that instead of talking anymore, y/n quickly pulls felix back in for another kiss, solidifying the feelings that both of them had formed. felix's heart skips a beat as their lips meet once again, this time with a newfound sense of certainty and warmth. it's a kiss filled with promise, a silent vow to explore the depths of their connection and embrace whatever the future holds for them. as they finally break apart, their smiles speak volumes, radiating with the sheer joy of newfound love and the excitement of what lies ahead.

. . .

"one more." y/n said.

felix chuckles, "no need to tell me twice."

______________________________________________________________

hope this wasn't as bad as the others :P, send in some requests for farleigh and oliver! oliver seems lonely :<<

[shou-jpeg]

-Back on the Beat-

Part 4. 04

Porchay can’t stop looking at Kim. 

Kim is sitting at the piano in the studio, humming tune Chay sent him earlier and adapting it for piano. 

He looks so beautiful. 

Kim looks amazing even on his worst days, but right now he’s ethereal; in his element and with a soft flush to his cheeks, as if he knows Chay is staring at him. 

He probably does know, Kim is observant and Chay isn’t being very subtle. 

Though... he’s been trying to flirt with Kim for two weeks now and Kim seems to let every attempt fly over his head. Chay would think he was being intentionally obtuse to let him know that he wasn’t interested, except Kim is the one who told Chay he wanted to try again. So Chay isn’t too sure what to think. 

Does Kim just have some sort of flirting detection force field? 

Maybe he’s just shy? Chay had thought that Kim was shy last time he tried this - maybe that was true. 

Chay wonders if he should just ask Kim out point blank and save them both the trouble. He did tell Kim that he would let him know when he was ready to try again, Kim might be waiting for something a little more specific. 

He wants to know if Boyfriend-Kim is also shy.

“I think this part would make a good prelude, and then the lyrics come in later over the top and the music builds from there, maybe a drum track and a bass to add depth.” Chay snaps back to the moment at the sound of Kim’s voice. 

Right. The song. 

The one they’re now composing together. 

Co-writing. 

Co-writing for a new WiK single, because Kim got inspired by what Chay had sent him and then asked him in the car on the way here if he wanted to help him make it into something real.

Chay dreamt of exactly this on a regular basis back when he was just a fan, except it means so much more to him now. 

“It should be soft though. The drum beat should be slow but steady, like a heartbeat, and the bass will then support that same energy.” Chay picks up his pencil and begins scribbling down dot points as he talks.

“What kind of song are we writing here? We should probably decide on a theme to help guide the composition.”

“Definitely a love song.” Chay says with confidence. Kim looks at him. “I’m imagining a love song, but for a person that the singer already knows. They’ve been in love before and then were torn apart and didn't see each other for a long time. And the song is about them finding each other again and rediscovering their love for each other.”

Chay really isn’t being subtle. 

Kim looks back to the piano, expression open and vulnerable. "In that case... perhaps the beat can pick up pace a little towards the bridge, to reflect the subject's emotions as he begins getting closer to his ex again." Kim says, and then begins talking about measures and other technical terms Chay isn’t that familiar with, since he’s never actually studied music theory. 

He loves watching Kim talk about music though. 

Chay is almost doodling hearts in his notebook. 

He considers his pen for a moment. Then draws two hearts in his notebook anyway, because it’s cute and he likes being a romantic.

They stay at the studio composing late into the night, until Porsche messages Chay telling him he missed dinner, and that Nok, the bodyguard assigned to him today, needs to finish his shift and also have dinner. 

Chay makes Kim order enough food at the drive through on the way back to feed both of them and also Nok, who reacts like Chay’s given him something a lot nicer than cheap take out. 

“I’m never allowed to eat stuff like this anymore!”

Chay makes a note to sneak his guards junk food more often. 

The rest of the drive back is quiet but not uncomfortable. Chay selects different songs to play over the car’s bluetooth and glances at Kim each time the song changes to gauge his reaction. 

They pull up to the compound and Chay hops out of the car. “Should we go back to the studio again tomorrow, P'Kim?”

Kim looks down at his phone, bringing up his calendar. “I have a meeting tomorrow morning until 10am. How about I pick you up for lunch and we go to the studio after?”

“Sounds good! I’ll see you tomorrow.” Goodnight, phi. Kim smiles at him softly and Chay tries not to melt. 

He closes the car door instead. Kim’s smiles are only slightly less devastating through tinted glass.

He waves goodbye as Kim pulls away and heads inside. It’s late, but he might stay up a little longer and play some video games, or to make some memes for Kim. He kind of wants to keep working on the song, but he doesn’t want to do any more without Kim around. 

It’s their song now.

Chay smiles to himself. 

He can’t wait until tomorrow. 

---------------------------------------

Chay takes a deep breath, determined.

< Prev - Next >

First

Playlist

[rasparagus]

still into you

pairing: vernon x reader

content: friends to lovers, that’s all, very short very vanilla, one sentence that references a suggestive moment but nothing detailed or serious

word count: 608, really short, will literally take u less than 5 minutes to read

masterlist

it started back in freshman year of college, when vernon used to slip corny little notes under your dorm room door, a small sheet of paper awaiting you almost daily on the floor when you got back from class. all it took was a post-it note in his rushed, awful handwriting to erase your mind of petty professors and clueless classmates. to this day (and without vernon’s knowledge) you keep a little envelope, convincingly and vaguely labelled ‘bills n stuff’ that houses every single note you received from him. you still giggle at his aversion to the sentimental, his letters often containing a list of songs or an endearing hand-drawn meme rather than something silly like a little poem about your love. 

of course, that isn’t when your love for him started—you have been positively in love with him since high school, which sadly neither of you recognized at the time. rather, university was when your sense of your relationship’s longevity began to bloom. somehow, in between fighting for your life in the coed dorms and downing bottom-shelf liquor at frat parties, you managed to keep one thing constant in that whirlwind of firsts and never-agains. friends you met in college were routinely amazed at your long-lasting friendship. friends you’d had since high school waited for a dating announcement with bated breath, anticipating the moment you two would recognize just how perfectly you meshed. 

the pining didn’t start until sophomore year, when the letters stopped. the two of you no longer lived in the same building; everyone’s classes got harder and more time consuming. somehow you and vernon got even closer, though. hugs lingered longer than normal, eye contact made your heart thump a bit more than usual. soon enough, the flirting emerged, and friend dates turned into normal dates. late night study sessions morphed into sleepovers. sleepovers morphed into sleepless nights, finding every surface in vernon’s room except for his creaky bed to release your energy. 

the quiet vibe worked for the two of you. whether it was to avoid inevitable teasing from the friend group or merely your natural inclinations to privacy, the dating news took quite a while to reach the people closest to you. sure, vernon was suspiciously posting you a lot more, but half of his pictures have had you in them since high school. and yeah, maybe you were coming home with a lot more cds (that suspiciously looked that all the bands vernon liked), but your roommates figured you were finally making enough money to feed your music addiction. so, to say the least, the knowledge of your romance was a shock to the entire friend group—hoshi says he got goosebumps when he saw the two of you “soft-launching” your relationship by walking around campus holding hands. hoshi and his shaky camera skills caused quite the chaos in all the group chats that day.

even now, you think vernon’s quietness is his greatest strength, how he’s able to make your heart flutter in so few words. his weekly text saying “on the way” followed by some food emoji because he knows tuesday is your busiest day. his stack of records and cds that he keeps by his front door, bedecked with a bright green sticky note reminding him to lend them to you. his notes app with a list of movies he refuses to watch for the first time without you. the white slip of paper written by his eighteen-year-old self, an off-handed joke sitting in your desk drawer years later: ‘you’re the only one i never get tired of.’

a/n: hello, all! this is my first drabble back. something really short but i like it. its about all the writing i can muster rn. but i enjoyed writing it for sure. i weirdly feel like im in a cool romantic mood these days. and i might even have a crush for the first time in like 3 years! hope you guys enjoy tho. i know my last post didn’t seem to get much traction, but i hope i can get some feedback on this one. pls send in some asks just to chat! i like talking to u guys xx

feel free to reblog and send in asks!

[kakashiislut]

Oddly Specific 141 Head-Cannons.

Warnings: all fluff actually! Mentions of alcohol!

Authors Note: I kinda wrote this in a like? Past view point? If that makes sense. Lots of “he’d” and “you’d” sounds better this way (IMO of course babies) THIS IS GENDER NEUTRAL!!

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I’ve been dying for some Call Of Duty; Modern Warfare 2 stuff- then I remember I can write. So here. 💕💕🔮🔮

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Ghost 💀

-Ghost Is the type of guy to wear Those plaid red and black pajamas bottoms, paired of course with a black wife beater. When he wakes up after sleeping in all day, he’ll just stand in the middle of the living room, eyes still half way closed, smacking his lips every now and then, while his hands are scrunching up the pants where his knees are. His hair is messed up. Like so messed up, his little punk mullet Mohawk thing is going left and right at the same time. He looks lost almost. Trying to find you even though you’re just in the kitchen trying to figure out why the kettle won’t work.

“Aww! Did you sleep well baby?” You’d Coo at him, walking over to the giant, sleepy baby. “Are you sleepy still?” He’d nod his head, gently sniffling “you little baby…you’re so sleepy” you’d cup his face, standing on your tippy toes to place a kiss on his nose. How can such a high ranking man, succumb to such a sweet yet powerful lover. Easy. You’re just good like that.

“Okay, let’s go wash your face and we can have breakfast, sound good?” You’d hold his hand, walk him over to the bathroom where you’d wash his face for him. He deserved the babying.

Soap 🧼

-Soap Who’s so good at drawing for some odd reason. Back at home, he has all the supplies he’d ever need. His favorite is his medium sized sketch book and a good mechanical pencil. Of course he’d keep around an extra eraser. You’d often find him sitting on the roof, drawing whatever came to mind. His little earbuds in, head booping gently to the music, fingers tapping on the roof tile.

“Boo!” You cant scare him for your life, but it’s fun to try. He’d smile up at you, eyes fluttering and flashing. Damn, he’s a good flirt when he isn’t even trying. “What chu drawing, hawk man?” He’d give you a tiny smile for his stupid nickname. “I’m drawing you”

He’d turn his stupid little sketch book towards you, but instead of a picture of you, it was a drawing of a goblin running away with some gold. You’d glare at him. It would turn into a stare, before you break out into laughter, arms falling onto his shoulders to pull him into a hug. He makes you laugh. A lot.

Price 🥃

-Price who has a Great alcohol bottle collection. It spans so many varieties of alcohol, some stuff you’ve never seen in your life. They’re bottles with long necks, short necks, bottles shaped as pineapples, coconuts, dragons even. All are colored sorted and most are filled. It’s his proud little obsession. Everyone and anyone who’s steps foot into your house is getting a little tour of them.

Coming Home, you gently call out his name, waiting for him to respond. Quirking his head up, he stepped off the stool a bit “I’m in the kitchen, Dear!.” You’d walk in, place a couple bags on the table and stare at him with your arms crossed and head cocked to the side.

He was dusting his bottles off that sat on top of the cabinets.

“Oh so you’re finally doing some sort of cleaning around the house?” You quipped, cocking an eyebrow. “Hey! I do clean…” he’d say, sounding almost suspicious of himself.

Gaz 🦦

-Gaz who is absolutely obsessed with animals. You guys have two cats and they are his world. You’d often find him crouched down, both hands aggressively stroking the two cats backs in the middle of the night. They love it so much. They purr so loudly around him he’s constantly feeding them all the treats in the world. You scold him constantly for it. The cats are getting fatter…

Back home, at his parents place, they have a dog and everyone’s pretty sure the dog likes him more then his actual owners. Every-time Gaz is around, the pitt can’t help, but have so many zoomies it’s unbelievable. Gaz likes to speak to him and the cute pitty likes to “speak” back.

“Oh aren’t you just adorable. Aren’t you? Such a good boy, you’re the bestest boy” Gaz cooed, hands flopping its ears around. The dog would howl back at him, making funny noises. “Yes you are, look at you, are you singing? Ya? You singing the best song”

[teaberrii]

Matching/Couple Costume Outfits with the Genshin Boys

Characters: 5WIRL (Aether, Xiao, Kazuha, Heizou, Venti) and DCKZ (Diluc, Childe, Kaeya, Zhongli)

Type: Bulleted headcanons

Warnings: Slightly suggestive

Notes: Wanted to write something for Halloween, so I’m trying headcanons for a change because time. 💀

Teyvat’s biggest Halloween party is tonight. You and your boyfriend got the invite, so who are you dressing up as?

Aether as Rapunzel. You as Flynn Rider from Tangled

Aether knows you’ve always admired his long, luscious blonde locks. But, when you suggest he go as Rapunzel, he isn’t sure what to feel.

Aether eventually agrees just to make you happy.

You and Aether thrift your outfits. He also brings a frying pan as an accessory.

You braid his hair to match Rapunzel’s hairstyle on the boat scene.

Aether is the center of attention; he gets teased to wear a dress and braid his hair more often as it “suits him”.

You and Aether win the best couple costume of the night by popular vote.

"Should this be considered one of my best days ever?”

Xiao as a samurai. You as a feudal princess.

Xiao is 100% on board with your costume idea, even though he isn't smiling when he tells you.

Xiao opts for a robe samurai costume with a black/white/green colour scheme.

You go all out with your hair, makeup, and kimono. You also bring a paper umbrella as an accessory.

Xiao treats you like a princess the entire night (as if he doesn't already). He gets whatever you need, makes sure you don't have any wardrobe malfunctions, and carries your umbrella when you're tired.

You hold each other's hand when the ghost stories get a little too intense.

“I live to protect you, my princess.”

Kazuha as Jiji. You as Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service

You always thought Kazuha would be cute as a cat. As both of you are Ghibli fans, you don’t think he would object, and you’re right.

Kazuha helps you make your costume; his costume is just all-black clothes.

You help him do his cat makeup.

Your favourite couple photo for the night is you and Kazuha on the broom together. He's hugging you from behind.

You and Kazuha grab the same chair when playing spooky musical chairs. He lets you have it.

“I think it’s better to leave with great dignity.”

Heizou as Sherlock Holmes. You as Watson.

You and Heizou suggested the idea at the exact same time.

Everyone knew who you and Heziou would go as. So, no one is surprised when you two show up like you're looking to solve the biggest murder mystery in town.

Heizou’s accessory is a tobacco pipe. Yours is a pocket watch.

You end up trying to solve an actual mystery at the party when the alcohol goes missing. Turns out it was Venti.

You and Heizou win the classiest costume of the night.

"Elementary, my dear Watson. We're the perfect team. But, of course, we'd win."

Venti as Sailor Moon. You as Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon

You thought Venti would want to go as Hatsune Miku, but he was the one who thought of this couple costume idea.

He's more excited than you are and goes all out.

Klee dressed up as Chibiusa, so the three of you take many group photos together.

You think Venti gets a little too drunk at the party, but he just wants to get you alone.

Heizou walks in on your little makeout session. He quickly looks away and says he's just looking for the missing alcohol.

Venti didn't realize he'd taken the entire bottle with him.

“Seems like someone needs to be punished in the name of the moon.”

Diluc as Jessie. You as James from Pokemon

Diluc was not planning on dressing up. He’s there for a job, after all. Catering. Well, he’s providing the drinks, to be exact.

You pitch the idea to him, saying that the costumes will be pretty low-effort. Plus, he has awesome hair for it. So, he eventually agrees just to make you happy.

You're in charge of the costumes, which won't take you long to get. All Diluc has to do is keep his luscious hair in good shape, which he does anyway.

You help Diluc with the drinks for the entire night, and you get a lot of compliments for the costume.

You dare him to do the catchphrase with you when he refuses to drink for a game, not knowing that you’ll pay for it later.

“...I hope you’re ready for trouble tonight.”

Childe as Nick Wilde. You as Judy Hopps from Zootopia

Childe is a little iffy on the idea as he’s never watched Zootopia. How good of a character can a talking fox be?

He’s totally convinced after watching the movie with you.

Childe already has the clothes. All he needs is a tail and ears.

Childe goes shopping with you for your outfit. You give him a deadpan look for acting innocent when giving slightly suggestive remarks.

Childe calls you “Officer Fluff” and tries to get information out of you on a spooky scavenger hunt.

“You know I’m innocent, Carrots. Unless you’re arresting me for another reason entirely.”

Kaeya as the Phantom (Erik). You as Christine from Phantom of the Opera

You just want to see Kaeya in a fancy schmancy suit, which rarely happens.

Kaeya likes the idea. He also wants to see you in a fancy dress.

When you walk into the party, your arm is looped around his. He treats you like royalty throughout the night.

Has a few too many drinks but still manages to keep it classy.

Kaeya ironically gets his character in a game of Halloween character charades. He instantly walks toward you and takes your hand.

“Love me. That’s all I ask of you.”

Zhongli as Loid. You as Yor from Spy x Family

You've never seen Zhongli blonde. So it's the perfect opportunity to get him to try new hairstyles.

He pulls it off well. He also loves the black dress on you.

Diona dresses up as Anya, so the three of you take a bunch of photos together.

You end up losing the game, which means you have to drink a small pitcher of mixed alcoholic drinks.

Zhongli drinks it for you.

“No matter what kind of trouble, let’s help each other.”

[hahafixon]

Your Words and Your Love ~ *Kim Hongjoong*

Summary: For the past six months, you have been waiting. You’ve been waiting for your husband to return to you. Life just isn’t the same without him. It’s become duller and less meaningful all alone. Will he ever come back to you?

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluffyish Oneshot

Word Count: 1583

Warning: Swearing, Yelling

Masterlist

Taglist: @foxwinter @maeleelee @mxnsxngie @kpop-will-kill-me​

The piano keys were cool to the touch, as they had not been played in quite some time. You had been meaning to practice again, but you could never seem to find the right melody. Every time you sat down to play, there was something missing, as if you were missing a handful of important notes to play a proper song.

However, deep down in your heart, you knew the reason why you couldn’t seem to find the time or energy for a song. It wasn’t so much the notes, but rather the room you practiced in. It felt too big, too cold, too lonely. It wasn’t what was missing, but rather who was missing.

If you remembered correctly, and you were certain you did, today marked six months without your love and husband by your side. He had been called away on a matter of utmost importance with his music in a foreign country. Hongjoong assured you that it was nothing for you to worry about and he would take care of it on his own. He vowed the trip would not last longer than three months and that he would write to you every single day. Hongjoong never went against his word, but by the eve of the third month, he had written his final letter to you. He had informed you that there would be a small delay, but it wouldn’t be long before he was back in your arms again.

That last letter was sent three months ago and not a word since. You tried to hold onto what little faith and hope you could, but each passing day made it more and more difficult. You missed him dearly. More often than not, you would cry yourself to sleep, begging for some divine intervention so that you may wake up in the morning with him lying next to you. You would stare forlornly out the window, wondering and praying that today would be the day he would ride in and hold you again, like he did.

In the time he had been absent, you noticed small things going amiss. You noticed how much quieter the manor seemed without his constant music and singing. He was the reason you kept up with learning new piano pieces instead of staying with the same old songs. After the quietness, came the lack of smell. You could no longer smell his cologne on his pillow or in his study. You used to complain lightly that he wore too much of it, but now you wished for nothing more than to have it back.

Now, the truly most frightening of things, you were beginning to forget the way he held you, as if you were made to be in his arms and no one else’s. It scared you more than words could describe. You feared that after forgetting his touch you would forget his laugh and then his smile and then his eyes, until he became nothing more than a memory that felt more like a dream. You couldn’t bear to witness the day you would forget who the love of your life is.

“Miss.” Your lady’s maid bobbed a quick curtsey before scurrying over to you with a concerned expression. “Are you quite alright? Are you still distraught? Shall I make you some tea or get you a compress while you lie down?”

Thinking over her questions, you looked at the piano again. You shook your head as you said, “No, I am fine. But if you please, could you select one of Hongjoong’s pieces. Something pretty and uplifting, if you please, dear.”

She inhaled sharply before softly saying, “Are you sure you can manage, miss?”

“I’m sure I have not forgotten how to play. Please, anything you like, as long as it’s happy. I don’t think I could bear to listen to any of his more melancholic pieces.”

Nodding, she went to his work desk on the opposite side of the room. Rifling through some papers, you sat down and took the piece she offered you. It was your turn to be caught off-guard, reading the title: Your Words and Your Love. It was the piece he specifically composed to play on your wedding day. It was the best song he ever composed in your opinion and you used to play it once a week when you entertained guests, as everyone was so astonished by the intricacies and affection within the notes of the song. It was a song you haven’t heard in months; you almost forgot it existed. Another thing about Hongjoong you were beginning to forget which only made your anxiety grow.

Nevertheless, you forced a smile and thanked her. “Thank you. If you would like to stay and listen, you may, but if you would rather go-”

“I’ll stay.” She assured you with a knowing smile. “Just in case you become overwhelmed, miss.”

You nodded before looking at the keys before you. After just one glance at the sheet music, the memory of playing it came rushing back and you knew muscle memory still held the notes within it. All you had to do was press the first key.

And so you did.

The tempo was slow and mournful, unlike the way Hongjoong had originally written it. You couldn’t bring yourself to play it correctly, for it felt much too happy for you. Instead you played it softly and sweetly, feeling tears well in your eyes. You just wanted your husband back. Was it really too much to ask for?

Your breath hitched in your throat when you got to the climax of the song and you had to stop. A few tears slipped down your cheeks, splashing onto the piano keys. Your hands rested on the cover for the piano keys, wanting to lock the piano forever and keep it closed with hope that he would return to you.

“Don’t stop on my account, dearest.”

A voice you haven’t heard in months spoke out to you. Gasping, you turned to see Hongjoong leaning against the doorframe, looking tousled and more tired than usual. He was smiling at you with that roguish smile that you had fallen in love with oh so long ago.

Before he could speak again, you had leapt off the piano bench and threw yourself into his arms. Now the tears were free falling from your cheeks as you held him tighter than you thought possible. He held you just as close and you could hear his shuddering breaths, as if he himself was trying not to cry. Pulling away, you saw his tear-stained eyes and as one dribbled down his cheek, you brushed it away with your thumb.

“Please tell me this isn’t a dream.” He breathed, pressing his forehead to yours. “Please tell me this isn’t some wonderful, splendid, wretched dream. Please, please, please tell me you are real and you are really in my arms right now.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle before pressing a kiss to his lips. “I do believe it is real.”

“Oh thank God.” He murmured before picking you up and spinning you around the parlor like crazy. A shriek of delight left you and he laughed at your reaction. Setting you down, he peppered your face in kisses, making you giggle like a giddy school girl.

With a sigh, you said, “I missed you so much, I was afraid if you did not return to me soon, I would go mad from loneliness. I was beginning to forget you and it frightened me so. Promise me, Hongjoong, promise me that you will never leave me like that ever again.”

He nodded, becoming deathly serious. Kneeling on one knee before you, he took both of your hands in his. “You have my word. You have all my words. I will never compose for another soul other than you. If I am ever to leave for some strange reason to be parted from you, I shall simply take you with me. I will never leave your side ever again.”

You chuckled before shaking your head. “No, no. You must make wonderful music for other people or we shall never get any money.”

“So my beloved wife only loves me for my money, is that it?” He teased making you shake your head again.

“No. I love you for you and I will always love you for you.” You assured him.

Standing up, he kissed you long and slow and sweet. You smiled into the kiss, certain it would not be your last. Your heart was overflowing with love and gratitude. Your wish to have your husband in your arms again had come true. And you were just as determined as he was to never let him go again.

After the kiss, he led you to the piano where he smiled fondly at the sheet music. “My dearest, would you be so kind as to play this again for me? I do so love it when you play it.”

You nodded before kissing his cheek. “As long as you sit next to me while I play.”

He nodded, faking seriousness. “Oh, most certainly. It is the only proper way to play it.”

Giggling, you sat on the bench and he sat next to you. Looking into his eyes, he smiled lovingly and kissed your lips once more. You then started to play his song specially intended for you, just the way it was written: with love and admiration and joy.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Love of my Life, a (different) reading

I want to start this off by saying that I love the idea that Harry Styles wrote a song called Love of my Life about Louis Tomlinson. Love it, love it, love it; love anyone and everyone who interprets this song that way, and this analysis is in no way meant to invalidate that understanding of it.

This is just a personal interpretation, based on which parts of the song resonate the most with me, my understanding of Harry’s writing style, the theme of the album, and which lyrics/words/lines (and tenses) called my attention the most.

That said…

…is Love of my Life actually about privacy and freedom? (This is gonna get long, more under the cut.)

❣️Based on Harry’s writing style:

I spoke a little about Harry’s writing patterns and vocabulary, but one thing that we’ve also noticed over the last three albums is that Harry speaks about people in a very layered way:

‘You’ is usually used as a gender-neutral song subject.

‘She’ and similar words (woman, angel) are more often a reference to himself.

‘Him’ and similar words (boyfriends) volley between a reference to himself or to a possible third person.

It’s obviously not always the case (and we have no way to verify), but Harry hardly ever writes in a way that’s on the nose, so following this pattern, personifying things like privacy and freedom by referring to them as the ‘love of his life’ fits into his pattern of layered writing.

❣️Based on the themes of the album (self-reflection):

“He’s been thinking a lot recently about autonomy, ownership, privacy. About what he should be able to keep to himself, what he should be able to simply communicate through his music without follow-up questions or prying.”

— Better Homes and Gardens

❣️Based on verb tenses:

“You were the love of my life.”

Let’s assume, for the sake of this post, that it really is ‘were’ and not ‘are’. (I always hear ‘were’, myself, but I also don’t claim to have bionic hearing, so don’t take my word for it.)

Why would Harry write one line in past tense, and the rest of the lyrics in present?

There are two ways to read it. Either:

(i) the ‘love of his life’ (person) is no longer the love of his life, but is still currently present in his life, or

(ii) he’s speaking about the ‘love of his life’ (privacy/freedom) in a nostalgic way, as if it’s not consistently accessible/available to him in his current life, but rather something that comes and goes — that he’s only able to experience in small, finite increments.

And, finally,

❣️Based on lyrics: [lyrics in bold, interpretation in italics]

(Thank you @angelsueishome for the lyrics, although I changed ‘are’ to ‘were’ based on what I hear.)

Baby, you were the love of my life

Oh, maybe, you don’t know what’s lost ‘til you find it

— the common phrase is ‘don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone’ and the direct reversal of those themes hints at Harry having found the love of his life (privacy/freedom) again in this new situation (lockdown)

Take a walk on Sunday through the afternoon

We can always find something for us to do

We don’t really like what’s on the news, but it’s on all the time

— if you read ‘we’ here as ‘Harry and his privacy/freedom’, the stanza is pretty straightforward

Take you with me every time I go away

In a hotel using someone else’s name

— ‘you’ as privacy/freedom, again the lines are straightforward

I remember back at Johnny’s place

It’s not the same anymore

— someone mentioned he has a childhood friend named Johnny (though I’m not sure how true), but if we read the line as his nostalgia for his life before fame and how that level of privacy/freedom isn’t accessible to him anymore, it makes sense

Baby, you were the love of my life

Oh, maybe, you don’t know what’s lost ‘til you find it

It’s not what I wanted, to leave you behind,

Don’t know where you land when you fly

But baby, you were the love of my life

— three things to note here: (i) resistance to leaving ‘you’ (privacy/freedom) behind, (ii)‘flying’ as a reference to his fame and the interesting use of ‘land’ (when usually, the opposite of ‘fly’ is ‘fall’), so there’s a connotation of positivity, control and even relief, in the come down to earth (from fame), and (iii) the use of ‘but’ for the first time, signifying the acknowledgement of yearning and slight regret

It’s unfortunate,

Just coordinates

— possibly a reference to how any knowledge of his location (by paps, by fans) is usually how his privacy/freedom is taken away from him

I don’t know you half as well as all my friends

I won’t pretend that I’ve been doing everything I can

To get to know your creases and your ends

Are they the same?

— two things to note: (i) ‘you/your’ as privacy/freedom and how there’s a difference between how he experiences these things (in finite amounts) versus how his friends are able to experience them (consistently), (ii) an admission that, for however much he yearns for it, he’s not ready to give up what he has (fame) to get it back, and (iii) questioning whether privacy/freedom looks/feels/is exactly the same as what it used to be to him.

— — —

Anyway, whew! That took a lot out of me.

TL;DR: I think Love of my Life is a song about Harry’s nostalgia for his privacy and freedom.

[turtleations]

Interview with Sugizo (Luna Sea / G) (summarized)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Note: Still not good at Japanese, but I like to delude myself that I am gettling slightly better. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong about something anyway.

I have changed the format of these "summaries". This is as close to an actual translation as I can currently make it, and in many places it is an actual translation, just moved from first to third person. You can often tell where from the awkward English.

I also included the prompts of the interviewer to make it flow more naturally, though I often paraphrased them.

Sugizo's thoughts on hide as a guitarist after X JAPAN’s reunion live

There isn’t a lot of talk about hide as a guitarist, with there being more attention on him being an expressive support or a unique performer. Sugizo thinks he was actually a quite technical player. X’s songs are rather difficult – especially the ones made by Yoshiki deviate from so-called normal rock, and it’s not easy to find players suitable for that. Remove even one nuance from it and the whole construct becomes unstable. This goes especially for the precise guitar harmonies and arrangements, as Yoshiki’s approach to writing music is close to classical compositions. Sugizo once again realized that with the reunion. In classical composition, every last note is planned and to tamper with even one of them is a sacrilege against the composer. Every note is intentional, a part of the composer’s soul, and the player had to protect that intention before anything else, like expressing their own individuality. Sugizo now came to understand how close X was to that way of composing. His own intention was to play hide’s parts without tampering with them. How could he put his own nuances in there, when by staying faithful to the original, he believed he could show his respect for hide and also for X JAPAN? He wrestled with those feelings and couldn’t relax while playing, finally understanding that during X JAPAN’s lives, and especially Yoshiki’s songs, you couldn’t move much because you had to concentrate so hard. It wasn’t just about looking cool – you don’t move because you can’t move.

Is that so?

Of course you also have free parts, and parts where you interact with the audience, but most of the time it’s so tight and you have to focus so hard you can’t move.

Nobody moved during “Art of Live”.

The same goes for “Blue Blood” and “Silent Jealousy”. Sugizo played with them himself now, but X JAPAN is at the top of the Japanese heavy metal bands that came up in the 80s. They set the precedence for how far a performance could go, how high you could sing, how offensive you could be, how difficult you could make it, how flashy you could look. X has pushed forward all the elements of the metal scene and was the first band acknowledged by the general public. Therefore, the peak of the metal scene was the start of the new visual scene as seeds sown by X. That said, Luna Sea’s methods and musical structures are completely different from X. He thinks that X’s way of expressing themselves was the final form of all the metal bands. Maybe there isn’t as of yet any other band in Japan going that far, that high, that flashy. One needs a clear stance to realize a clear standard. If you don’t diligently research them, you can’t play X’s songs. On the contrary, you have to bring this degree of understanding. And now Sugizo has become an X-music-critic (laughs).

With Sugizo chasing after X, being used to a different system, how has he decided to support them?

A long time ago, Yoshiki brought it up with Sugizo. But back then he said, “Impossible. No one can fill the hole left by hide-san.” There is no person whose existence is that big. At first, Sugizo was quite negative towards the idea, because the fans would kill him. He knew he would be drowned in criticism, and that was a difficult thing to take on. And he didn’t quite know how he felt about it himself. But when the reunion became a more concrete concept, Yoshiki asked him again and he started thinking about it objectively. He had been active at the same time as hide, but could he do this for three hours on stage? Of course, they could have done without someone on stage, but there are limits to what you can express without a live human player, and out of everyone in the current Japanese scene, Sugizo felt he was the only one who had the necessary meaningful and existential connection to hide to take over this part. No other reason. He did it out of respect, and because it wouldn’t happen if he didn’t help out. Even if he feared criticism, he needed to do it for his irreplaceable friend and for his respected seniors. He meant to support them and express hide’s existence through his own play as closely as possible. He wasn’t really at the forefront, rather, he became a medium. If he could channel hide’s dying wish into sound through himself, he would consider it a success.

About I.V.

I.V. had a completely different feeling. Here, Sugizo could do his own thing – in fact, Yoshiki, the creator, told him to. Not just that, but the intention of hide was transmitted through Sugizo’s fingertips. So even with criticism and attacks, in the end he was grateful and there were a lot of positive aspects to it.

On the impression he had on being on a really big stage with X

Such a giant band in every sense: The scope, the size of the stage, the amount of time by which the performance was delayed (laughs). The scale was too big; this isn’t a normal rock band anymore. The size of their existence and the showmanship with which they entertain everyone. Luna Sea is a normal band in comparison, just a small fish. Sugizo felt lucky that he got to experience that – that he got to exist in the whirlpool of those two bands is a precious experience. And one more thing: The affection of the staff was amazing, and he understood well hide’s part in it. He understood well that without hide, there can be no X JAPAN. And thus, this X without hide was stuggling. Not just from the outside, but from the inside as well. Sugizo came to realize just how important hide’s role within the band had been. They started out started wobbly, but ascended on the third day – this band is truly divine. It felt like he was diligently playing guitar with hide, and competing with him musically, for the first time ever. Although they have been close like brothers and often went drinking together, Sugizo had never experienced hide on guitar like this before. Nearly twenty years after meeting him, this was the first time he really felt like they were together. It was an amazing experience. Sugizo’s close friends Wes (Borland, ex-Limp Biskit) and Richard (Fortis, Guns & Roses) were also stuck by admiration for X JAPAN’s greatness and hide’s awesomeness. In any case, for Sugizo it was a very valuable experience.

The impression hide left on Sugizo

Thinking about it now, he was a person like Mozart. Someone who was like a force of nature until the first half of his thirties, went all out, caught everyone around him in his inescapable nexus, and then died. The people who survive, like them, grow tattered as they reach old age, while experiencing the sorrows and the joys of aging people.

About their first meeting

Sugizo doesn’t remember it well because it was a messy time. But drinking places come to mind. At that time, Luna Sea had only just formed, and X was already at the top, but they drank at the same Issakayas. At first, that was scary, but while drinking with hide, Sugizo soon found out that they were very kindred spirits and they unexpectedly became friends. So, he can’t remember where and how they met for the first time. But it was certainly in Meguro, close to Rokumeikan, at a normal Izakaya like Tsubuhachi or Shoya.

His impression of hide back then

Like someone out of a magazine. It felt like, “Oh, there’s a person from a magazine right in front of my eyes.”

Wearing a hat and sunglasses?

This was hide in a private setting. At that time, when going out in front of people in private, he wore a big black hat and cats eye sunglasses. He must have worn something like that, which is just what Sugizo imagined people from magazines would look like. While they drank, their talk suddenly turned to music: “I like JAPAN” [British punk and pop band active from 1974-82 , and in 1991], and they found a connection. “Fast, that’s good!” – “Fast music is the best!” – “But, I hate the later period.” – “No way! I love the later period just as much.” – “Looks like we have different tastes,” and such (laughs). “Who’s your favourite guitarist?” – “I like Frank Zappa the best.” – “Zappa, huh? I don’t like him at all.” He remembers well how they went back and forth like this.

This was before Luna Sea signed up with Extasy?

Before. But they were active at Rokumeikan, so inevitably, someone knew someone who had a connection. At that time, there weren’t many other bands with their kind of sound, so they were pretty isolated. Hide must have thought that they were “weird and interesting”. Hide and Sugizo’s aesthetics matched, they took a similar stance on expressing themselves, and so they became good friends. Around them, there were a lot of artists in the style of previous generation metal or hardcore bands like VIRUS or AION, but Luna Sea was different from those and something new. Sugizo thinks they were in a similar vein as D’erlanger or ZI:Kill, but you could also see it differently.

Their motivation for joining Extasy

On top of being friends with hide, Yoshiki came to see their live at Rokumeikan. They came and went at Extasy drinking parties, and in the autumn of 1990 it was decided that Extasy would bring out their album.

Did hide recommend them?

Probably. Sugizo thinks that hide said to Yoshiki, “There’s an interesting band,” even though he never directly told them that he was the one making that introduction.

The impression was that hide was advertising Luna Sea to a lot of people.

In that regard, hide didn’t change until the end. He was always looking for new sounds and new images. No matter what their career level was compared to his, hide always had his antennas out for new, exciting, interesting artists. And then he would continue to socialize with them. A very hide-like thing.

That’s how LEMONed came to be.

Right. Luna Sea was probably the first band where hide said, “That’s interesting, let’s do it!”, and mobilized for them. But that time was a muddy mess.

Meaning?

The drinking parties were messy. At the establishments, artists, fans, people from the media were all jumbled together. It was great fun, but Sugizo has quite enough of it (laughs).

Lack of stamina?

Since Sugizo had been in his early twenties, that had not been a problem. He drank to the point of collapse, had violent fights with anyone and anything, and work up the next day with wounds all over his body.

His memories of hide from that time

He has countless of those, since they hung out together so much. Over the course of maybe two years, they were drinking together every two to three days. They drank until morning, went to the onsen, did radio gymnastics with everyone else, were in a fight in Asagaya. When they were drinking in Asagaya together with Ken and Kyo from Zi:Kill, they got into a big fight with some guys who looked like college students. At some point in the middle of the fight, Sugizo became aware that hide was nowhere to be seen. A few minutes later, hide came back wielding a dustpan and yelling, “You assholes!” He was the kind of person who would go and calmly search for an effective weapon while they were all hitting each other with fists. In the end, they all got banned (laughs).

But that effective weapon was a dustpan (laughs).

Ken was hitting his opponent with the shoes he took off, but suddenly realized that those were the slippers provided by the place they were drinking at and didn’t do any damage whatsoever (laughs). He wanted to hit his opponent with his boots or whatever, with all his strength, but he didn’t hurt him at all. It was terrible when everyone had to laugh in the middle of the fight. They rarely suffered serious injuries, in any case.

Small injuries?

Scratches and stuff. Sugizo doesn’t really remember, but when he got really mad, he got stopped by his friend George from Ladiesroom in the beginning (laughs).

That happened?

Hide also stopped him. When Sugizo went off and had a hard time, hide would come and have a drink with him. He was always looking out for him. Even though they raged a lot, there was never an intention to really hurt the opponent. It was violent, but it was fun.

Everyone says that.

Even after violent fights, everyone joked about it the next day. Also, hide loved messing with people. When they went to an onsen in Hakone, hide hid all of their clothes in a crack (laughs). Since it was dawn and there was no one around, it wasn’t a problem and it was never worse than silly mischief. Sugizo looked around, but there was nothing to wear except the noren [cloth sign at the entrance], so he spontaneously made the executive decision that that would serve as his clothes. He likes onsens, but to exchange the yutaka [light kimono, usually provided by the onsen] with a noren… (laughs). Further, hide ate a lot in the morning. Since they fooled around all night, the others didn’t want to eat anything, but hide enthusiastically gulped down everything on his own. They would ask him how he could eat like that, but he would explain that he’d get in trouble if he didn’t eat in the morning and devour like 3 bowls of rice. Then they’d got to an amusement part and slide down a grassy slope in a cardboard box, playing like children.

Adults don’t usually play like that.

Hide had a driver’s license but never drove. When asked why, he explained that he had once been in a collision accident. He couldn’t forget the feeling of the car hitting a person and so, he didn’t want to drive. Sugizo understood, but he thinks that hide’s power of imagination was too strong. When talking about going to the shooting range in America, hide asked, “Sugizo, did you ever shoot a gun?”

“Not yet, but I would like to try it.”

“You’s better not.” At the shooting range, hide would suddenly think, “What if I turned now and shot the person next to me and their blood splattered everywhere,” and just be horrified. Once he started thinking like that, one thought would lead to another and he would become terrified. So he didn’t shoot, and he didn’t drive. Sugizo understood that, because he, too, had an overactive imagination since he was a child. He doesn’t eat a lot of meat anyway, but when he thinks about the time when those creatures were alive, he feels bad. When he thinks about how they are roasting the dead body of an animal, he has to imagine their dying wails of agony. Both he and hide are people with an extreme power of imagination.

They can make their music come alive through that.

It’s great when it comes to music and expressing yourself, but when it comes to your normal life, it’s very inconvenient. When it comes to creating, one thing Sugizo often remembered later was one time he and hide went drinking before hide had a contract for his solo activities. He talked about wanting to do solo work but having doubts about it. Sugizo told him he should definitely do it, because solo-artist-hide would be interesting. A few weeks later, hide said, “I mostly decided on a solo contract, but Sugizo, I was surprised.” – “Why?” – “Can’t tell you yet.” And then he didn’t. Turns out, he ended up with the same record label as Luna Sea. Sugizo remembers well how often they talked when hide first started his solo activities.

Did they talk about what they wanted to do?

Sugizo doesn’t remember the contents of those conversations well, but hide talked about wanting to do pop. Since his starting point was KISS, he probably originally liked rock with big shows. That was 15 years ago. It makes Sugizo feel nostalgic.

What did hide say about Luna Sea?

Sugizo doesn’t really remember him talking about musical things, only drinking and having fun. But he liked their early pop songs like “Déjà Vu” and “Wish” and told them they should do more like that. “Believe” was their first single. When hide saw the PV, he said, “You should have related a pop single like this sooner.” They had the same hair and make- up artist, Okayama Tetsuya, and they often went to his place to drink.

Hide often came to Luna Sea’s lives.

Hide said that Luna Sea’s sadness was unbearable. “It came with a bang,” and “Deeply moving like Dinosaur Jr.”. Sugizo doesn’t understand that at all (laughs). Sugizo likes Dinosaur too, and got a melancholic feeling from them, but he thinks this was an impression specific to hide. “That feeling tightening your chest is nice, but there are no such elements for me.” Maybe he saw such tones in bands like Luna Sea or Zi:Kill.

He also often went to see Zi:Kill.

Hide liked Tusk. He also had a close relationship with Ken, but if pressed, Sugizo would say that Ken was being messed with (laughs).

He was often made fun of. (laughs)

But maybe hide and Sugizo were opposites when it came to their personality. Hide was blood type AB, and there are aspects of AB-types that Sugizo can’t understand. There are things that are normal for AB-types, but mysterious and incomprehensible for O-Types like Sugizo. Hide was no exception. “What is that guy saying so quickly?” Sugizo often thought. It was not a problem, because hide was in a position of seniority to Sugizo, but if they had been of equal standing, they would probably have fought if spending a lot of time together. Actually, their way of thinking and their interests were so different in hide’s last years that, while it never got to the point of fighting, they had a lot of disputes.

Conversely, that was the extent of the relationship they could have.

Sugizo wonders about that. At that time, X JAPAN set up base in L.A. and only had activities about once a year, so hide was rarely in Japan anymore. When he was home, they occasionally met for drinks, or they ran into each other at the “Music Station Special” and went out drinking afterwards, but that was the extent of it. Sugizo worked from London at the time but was never in L.A., so their points of activity were just different.

Sugizo also did his solo recording in London.

Nowadays, Sugizo often goes to L.A. and hangs out with Yoshiki, but the last one or two years before hide died, there was some distance. Nevertheless, whenever they were both in Japan, they met without fail. In the 90s, Sugizo was in L.A. not even once.

Is that so?

The first time he went to L.A. was in 2000. Since then, he’s been there almost 30 times. At first, it didn’t fit the image of hide’s L.A. The feeling was a little darker. But it matched, thinking about hide’s roots.

In the beginning, hide said he didn’t like L.A. very much.

KISS is an American band, though. And hide made Zilch in L.A. Zilch was great. But now [Paul] Raven has also passed away… Sugizo was close to the members of Zilch, somehow, they were all connected.

Did he hear stories about Zilch?

Yes, he did. “I’m not going to produce, I want to focus on performing,” hide said. “It’s going to be mainly in English, so I’ll focus on singing and playing the guitar. We’ve got a good producer.” The producer in question was Ray [McVeigh]. Sugizo thinks hide and Ray met because Ray was producing Oblivion Dust. Sugizo heard about it about one year before Zilch really started.

In his solo works, hide did everything on his own.

He probably wanted to relax and take a different approach to music. Sugizo remembers, there is a song called “Drink or Die”, that hide came up with when they were drinking together. “I want to make a song about ‘drinking or dying’.”

“About drinking until you die…?”

“Yeah, that’s it, that’s the song I’m going to make.” (laughs)

He swiftly wrote down the lyric on some paper right there in that place.

He did. The group they always hung out and drank with was called the “Legion of Hell”, and he said he wanted to make a theme song for them. “Legion of Hell” was of course a KISS reference. (or was it?) When he drank, that guy often went wild.

Him, too?

When the others went into s drunken frenzy, hide would, too (laughs).

Sugizo didn’t?

Sugizo doesn’t frenzy (laughs). Sugizo doesn’t change when drunk, but hide could change completely, as if a switch was flipped. It would go into a fun direction, or he could play too hard and get injured. He’d mess up and break his bones. One time, he ran off with joy and didn’t notice a wall in front of him until he ran into it face first. After that, he was down for a day (laughs).

Referring to their shared photo session?

They were photographed together in connection with a magazine interview, but hide managed to run into a white wall so hard his make-up left the imprint of half his face on it (laughs) He was in high spirits, got injured, and went down. He was an entertaining guy. He could change completely from one moment to the next, get silly or start fighting. Then, suddenly, he’d give a lecture.

Lecture, in what sense?

He was a guy who would suddenly lecture you if he was drinking. Sugizo got those lectures, their other buddies got them, too. For example, both Sugizo and Yoshiki liked the word “art” and probably used it a lot. Hide, on the other hand, hated that word and would tell him, “Sugizo, don’t call every single thing you make art.” And, “What I do is also often called art, but that’s not what it is. It’s simply me doing things I enjoy. Those on their high horse speaking of “art” can go fuck themselves! Listen, Sugizo! Don’t say shit like that.” (sour smile)

He certainly wanted to emphasize that.

Hide had a lot of particular views, and if you went against those, it rubbed him the wrong way, Sugizo thinks. Anyway, the talk is all over the place. They spend so much time together, but hide has been gone for ten years, and the chronological order is all messed up. In those ten years, Sugizo changed a lot. In any case, in that time, he wanted to talk, to drink, to mingle with a lot of people. In that, he and hide matched perfectly. Nowadays, Sugizo wouldn’t be able to spend his time like that anymore. That said, he also doesn’t spend a lot of time peacefully at home.

He often got summoned.

Very often (laughs). He’d suddenly get told, “Come over now.” He did it, too, which is strange. They should have been very busy back then. How did they have time for that?

No cell phones back then

None whatsoever. How did hide manage to contact him? Sugizo didn’t have a cell phone until 1995. The time when they were constantly hanging out was around 1992, 1993, so there shouldn’t have been any cell phones available in the beginning. If Sugizo was in the studio for something, hide would find out about that, too, and contact him there. His talent for research was astonishing (laughs). Since he got along well with everyone in the office, he always got info on who was where and did what. Sugizo still can’t believe he was that informed in a time when cell phones weren’t a thing yet. Speaking on which, after drinking in Roppongi one time, they all went to eat ramen. While eating, hide asked if those ramen were tasty or not. “I honestly can’t tell the taste.” (laughs) He asked them, “Because I don’t know if they are good or not, tell me.” They then told him, “They’re good,” and he said “Yay!” and ate happily. It was one of those times where Sugizo thought he was weird. (laughs)

Hide’s lacking sense of taste is a topic within his circle of friends.

Between Yoshiki and hide, they also fought, each accusing the other of being taste-blind. It was pretty ridiculous. Also, when Luna Sea were still indies, when they were visiting hide’s place to drink, it happened that when morning came, hide would suddenly prepare a meal for them. He could cook, that guy. Suddenly, at six AM or so, he would go and make fried kimchi or something. He was a strange guy, but he was also a bundle of affection. Sugizo thinks he just loved taking care of people. “Come to my place and I’ll feed you!” He gave them lectures, chased them everywhere (laughs). Sugizo always responded to that affection, because it made him really happy. Above that, he always rushed to respond, because he wanted to be seen as someone who always came quickly, no matter what was going on (laughs).

Even if the other members couldn’t come, Sugizo always did.

Thinking about it now, Sugizo really went for it. And there was the “salt incident” that was really fun. Whenever Sugizo used the phrase “Did that have the right amount of salt?” [Meaning something like, “Did that match your expectations?] on some grandpa or someone in some town, and hide laughed his ass off. “Young people don’t talk like that these days. Can you also ask the audience at Luna Sea’s live if you gave them the right amount of salty flavour?” So Sugizo said, “If the opportunity come up.” (laughs) Thus promised, several days later, Sugizo addressed the audience at an outdoor concert in Hibiya with, “Did that have the right amount of salt, you fuckers?” and hide lost it again (laughs).

Before that performance, hide excitedly wondered if Sugizo would really do it.

The strange thing is, hide was bad at dirty talk. One day, he askes Sugizo, and seemed to struggle with it, “The boy’s bit, ca… can you say that?” Sugizo thought he asked weird questions. And when he in return asked, “Do you mean ‘penis*’?”, hide was excited. “Amazing! You can say it! So manly! I admire you!” It was a great commotion. “None of the X-members can say it.” So Sugizo said, “Ours is a band that makes a lot of dirty jokes. So, it’s okay for you to give it a try.” And hide tried, “Pe… pe… No! I can’t say it!” and hung his head (laughs). Sugizo thought he was weird, but Yoshiki can’t say it even now (laughs). But, after starting his solo activities, hide managed to yell the word “Penis!” on stage. Sugizo thinks it was their influence, pulling him down to their level (laughs). In the beginning, he was above such things.

[*) Ironically, the word is censored throughout the text.]

His mental state changed (laughs).

For the sake of showmanship, he knew no shame. After the performance, they told him, “hide-san, you changed. Now you can say the word “penis” on stage with all your might!” and hide was super happy because he, too, had become a grown-up (laughs).

He grew up, right. (laughs)

Sugizo thinks that hide was such a great person thanks to his amazing family. Both his father and his mother were very warm people and thus able to raise a person like that. Sugizo was quite jealous of the good relationship hide had with his parents. It’s well known that Luna Sea is a band where everyone came from a broken home environment, so the warmth of a household, the affection of father and mother is something they barely experienced. That’s why hide was such an incredibly warm guy himself. The Luna Sea guys were all rebellious, messed up people. Even though they are now in their late thirties and have mostly left their childhood traumas behind, in their twenties it was still very present. The still dragged their childhood environment and traumas with them, had trouble with their personal relationships, didn’t express themselves well – there were all sorts of issues. To Sugizo at that time, hide’s family was something he envied him for. Even now hide’s parents are wonderful to him. Whenever he meets them, they invite him to their home. “Pata-chan comes often, so, come with him.” They are so full of affection, it’s amazing.

Has he ever done a session together with hide?

Yes, at the power station, when Sugizo was still indies. Hide sang, Sugizo played the guitar, Shinya was on drums, and on bass was Sexy Rose Harry. They played songs by Damned and Ziggy Stardust. Nostalgic. That was in 1991, a long time before hide started his solo activities, but Sugizo wonders if he wasn’t developing a vision for that back then. The way he sang changed a lot. He got serious about it. If he had to sing, he abstained from alcohol, went to bed early to stay healthy. He said to Ryuichi, “Singers are really respectable. I’m not there yet.” And then he worked hard to get there.

Did he see Sugizo’s solo activities?

He probably did, but since that started just before he died, they didn’t discuss it much. Luna Sea started their solo activities when X was in the process of breaking up, so hide was dealing with his own problems. He talked a lot to J, who was based in L.A., but didn’t have a lot of opportunities to talk to Sugizo or the others. But Sugizo hung out with the members of Spread Beaver, since he’s friends with all of them. In the year before hide died, they only met a few times and didn’t get to talk about their solo music much. If they had, Sugizo imagines it something like this: hide would have asked him if he was still playing with “art”, Sugizo would have insisted on going with that, and then hide would have told him not to, and they would have gotten into an argument (laughs).

Is there anything he would like to say to hide?

The things hide did have now blossomed to their full meaning. Hide and the things he wanted to express are now loved throughout the world. Sugizo wants to say, “Congratulations!” The distance between the countries is disappearing and hide’s music is now going out into the world. Some people had problems because CDs are not selling anymore, but there are now other ways for music to be distributed. Sugizo often wonders what hide would be doing if he were still alive in this time. He would probably be at the forefront of some brand new thing. When he thinks about such things, Sugizo wants to say, “It was too early, hide-san!” If you live a long life, various people are going to die before you. Those who die young are eternally beautiful, those left behind are, struggling and shining, growing older day by day. Sugizo, for his part, plans to keep doing music with all his strength until he goes to the place where hide is. He wants to keep doing music to the point where he gets as far as hide has gone.

[caycanteven]

Lexverse - Current Skele Head Canons! (Sans Versions)

Since the skele-boy’s are comin’ along on their own, I decided to take some time to describe my head canons of them and their relationship to Lex–to satiate the curiosity as well as remind me of personalities when there are so many bone boys as it is ;3; I’ll also include some stuff they like to do as well.

Sans - Still a lazybones. He often doesn’t get out much and prefers to just stay home if he can help it. Lex and Sans share a common inability to remember things they have to do, so they help each other out. They sometimes go out and stargaze on the roof or watch a bunch of terrible movies on netflix. The two of them together often ends up with a lazy day every day, with occasional “fun” if they run out of movies.

Red (Fell!Sans) - Cocky and arrogant, but easily Lex’s best friend and lover. Not as lazy as his classic counterpart, but he would rather be in his room than around other people. He can’t keep his shoes tied for the life of him and likes how sweats feel over shorts (probably blames Lex for it). Easily pissed off and will argue with you just for shits and giggles. Red makes teasing remarks at Lex while she easily likes to push his buttons too (they will wrestle it out if necessary), but if she needed him, he’d be there in a soul-beat. Their favorite pastime is listening to music, preferably rock, and he owns a white electric guitar he calls “Ivy.”

Blue (Swap!Sans) - Lex and Blue act more like siblings, and she's quite protective over him. Though, while being his second biggest supporter, she is also the one who encourages his outlandish behaviors just to get under Stretch’s marrow. Blue is a great listener despite his slightly obnoxious tendencies. He likes working out and will do whatever he can to try and get Lex out of the house to do the same, but fails miserably more often than not.

Axe (Horror!Sans) - nobody gets her more flustered than the soft spoken, yet very deep toned skeleton,  Axe. He also suffers from short term memory, so two often write notes for each other to remind of important dates, events, or what’s for dinner. Axe is an excellent cook, though relatively humble about it for Paps and Butch’s sake. He focuses on baking in his free time, but when he’s not doing that, he’s enjoying Lex’s company in more ways than one. He is quite smart despite his short term memory, capable of speaking German fluently (mostly to tease Lex) and often reads plenty of fiction. He naps just as much as Sans, but enjoys cuddles more than anything. 

Dusty (Dusttale!Sans) - Dusty is pretty laid back and keeps to himself, but he’s protective in his own way for Lex. While she helps keep his LV attacks to a minimum, he keeps his eyes—or mostly his brother’s—on her any time she goes out by herself. Does Lex know? Meh, he doesn’t know or care really if she does. When he’s not doing work for Nightmare, he spends some of his past time throwing up Graffiti in random AUs; helps relieve stress.  He’s got a big brother vibe going on, and while he may be quiet around others, he always knows how to make conversation with Lex when he’s out for a smoke or it’s drink night. Lex often helps him sleep on rough nights by singing to him, and letting him stay in her room if it’s nightmare levels of rough. What else happens, well, he may not tell you.

Killer (Killer!Sans) - Probably the most dumbest, craziest, and perverted character Lex has ever come to meet—yet whatever this energy he’s got going for him, she’s all for it. Lex and Killer are two chaotic smartasses wrapped up in dynamite with its fuse lit. If Killer finds trouble, he’s dragging her with him. And if Lex gets in trouble? Killer ain’t there to participate (if it’s Nightmare that is.) Killer has made his shot with her before, but Lex often turns him away, not because she isn’t interested, but because he gets absolutely dramatic. It's always funny to see him whine about it. Definitely not because Nightmare would have his head…

Nightmare (Dreamtale) - Nightmare, the dark and brooding guardian of negativity, didn’t take to Lex when the two first met. Though, after an encounter with one of her trauma induced panic attacks, he realized everything she did was simply an act of hiding her own negative aspects. Nightmare, to say the least, pitied her and the two would often congregate in his study to talk about things that bothered her, where the negative energy wouldn’t be as harmful and would sustain him as well. Lex, while her positive expressions were undesirable, was never unwelcomed around him even so. Nightmare won't admit it up front, but he favors her dearly and has genuine care for her wellbeing…and the fact he admires her stubbornness. He’s a bit of a romantic, and if the two are ever alone, he takes his time “appreciating” her, but his jealousy is unmatched. He often will throw Killer into the nearest wall if he sees the two flirting. Sometimes, he does it just cause he finds it funny.

Big E (Error Sans) - First he stole her chocolate; then, an entire box of instant hot chocolate; the last straw was when her favorite pair of sandals went missing. Error, of course, being the culprit, took pride in the fact he got away with it too. Error and Lex didn't quite start off on the right foot when they first met either; Lex shook his hand without realizing he had Haphephobia, sending him into a glitching fit and leaving quite the impression following. Error holds a grudge like nobody’s business, and often steals some of her belongings to mess with her, sometimes even keeping them for himself. He managed to steal a pair of her black sweat pants one day, but they didn’t quite fit, so he had to stitch them up. He prefers to stay in the Anti-Void in his comfy bathrobe where he relaxes on his bean bag, watches Undernovela and enjoys knitting, crocheting, and whatever he can make with string, yarn, or fabric. He has a pair of glasses he stole from Lex, only to find out they weren’t even hers. He doesn't need them, but he likes how they look and makes him feel important. While he has no interest in being anywhere close to Lex, sometimes he tolerates her visits if she promises to watch at least five episodes of Undernovela, stay the FARTHEST away on the bean bag, AND bring him a chocolate milkshake. He doesn’t like her. Not even a little. Nope, not at all…

Ink (Ink Sans)- If there’s one thing Error and Lex have in common, it’s the fact they have little patience with Ink. While he means well, he often fails to read the room. Personal space isn’t a thing for this guy, but it’s easy to fall for his charms and enthusiasm. Lex often engages in conversation with the little bastard mostly to make it up to Error (if they happen to be in the same room). Lex actually enjoys discussing art with him, but she can’t last too long because Ink will forget everything within a few minutes and she’ll have to start over. It’s not his fault, of course, but she admits it can be tough. Though, she has seen his mischievous smile before, and she has gotten chills from it. Whatever he has cooking in his skull, she’d rather not be around to find out.

Lil Man (Edgy Bittybones) - Lil Man was a rebellious bitty who more so found Lex, instead of her finding him. While she didn't want to call him Little Red (Red would have her soul for it) she decided to call him Lil' Man, since he was so adorably small. However, he was also a little shit. Leave him unsupervised, and he would cause all kinds of trouble. Red wouldn't even watch him, it was too much work. So, Lex bought the little guy a tiny CD player and if he was good, he'd get a new CD when they went to the store. Much like Red, he enjoyed Rock music, but he also enjoyed musical numbers too. He's never not hungry, leaving Lex having to buy extra snacks for him so he didn't raid the fridge every week more than once. Even if he is a hand full, Lex loves him, and Lil Man always enjoys ranting about random shit with her...even if he doesn't know what it is they are ranting about.

[sluggzillaa]

Chapter 1: Vanity

Masterlist ・┈ ・

Word Count: 4.5k

✧ Pairing: Gigolo!Eddie Munson x Stripper!Reader

✧ Summary: You and Eddie work for Hawkins’ hottest club, Notorious for it being filled with all kinds of pleasures. Despite being co-workers, you and Eddie have never really been that close; until now. Being close to someone is nice, but working for who and where you do; it could be extremely dangerous

✧ Warnings and tags: use of Y/N(2), (sfw)teasing, pet/nicknames(Sweetheart, Hun, Sleeping beauty, Angel) , drug use (shmeed), just some fluff, co-workers to lovers, alcohol consumption, smoking, mention hard drugs(❄️) ,  sex work, violence, assault, driving under the influence(never do this irl I beg), eventual smut, no upside down

✧ Authors note: I started this fic a while ago but never really got the motivation to get back to it until I recently got sick. I hope you guys really like it because so far this is one of my favorite writes and I plan on continuing it for a while if it gets good feedback. If you like the fic and you want to see more then please repost and comment what you’d like to see happen. Luv ya and MINORS SHOO!

✦ ⎯⎯ · ⎯⎯ ·

Sapphire is the go to place for all of Hawkins guilty pleasures. Drugs, liquor, dancers, escorts, you name it they got it. The people are pretty and the sex is good. What happens behind closed doors though; isn’t as sexy. Mafia ties, territory wars, and Tommie. Tommie Rizzo owned basically all of Indiana, with the exception of the areas run by his partners. Not only did he own Indiana, but he also owned whoever worked for him. That’s where you came in.

You first met the devil when he found you tricking on the corner of Ford and Irving. You knew girls often were there to use their ‘talents’ to make a few dollars. What you didn’t know was that those same girls were owned by Tommie. He did not like that someone was using his territory to make a profit. That was till he saw your potential. He left you off with a warning. A month later, he found you back on the same corner pulling the same tricks. He snatched you out of a client's car and threw you into his. That’s when he told you all about Sapphire. You knew about Sapphire, but it never crossed your mind on how it’d be to work there. He brought you in when the club was closed. He put you up on the stage and had you dance to whatever was popular at the moment. From that moment on, he knew he had a star in his hand. He knew you’d bring him in lots of money.

Now here you’re putting on the last dance of the night before you tend to your private clients. You get the highest, brightest stage to give the best performances any of the club goers would see. All eyes would be on you; not even the girls who would walk around offering bottles and private dances would get a sideways glance. Your set ended and you collected your tips. you walk off the stage and down to the bar. Nothing calms your nerves like liquor and a blunt. the other girls would cut their tips in half by buying snow off of the boss, you couldn’t bother with the intensive nosebleeds that happen afterwards. 

‘Anna! Can I get a henny shot and a coke!’

You smiled at the girl behind the bar and turned back towards the stage. You admired the crowd of people dancing to the music, wishing to be that happy again. A figure passed by your peripherals. You turned your head and found Eddie, the top paying escorts of the club. In a town of sad housewives, gigolos were there to fill the void of a lousy inattentive husband. Most women want to chase their teen years or get a taste at an exciting sex life and that is where Eddie comes in handy. A lengthy metal head who rides a harley, has long dark hair, and is covered head to toe in tattoos. Every gals bad boy fantasy. There's a good reason and it’s not just because he's very skilled. He knows how to handle a woman outside of taking care of her in bed.

Eddie stood a few feet away from your spot at the bar. He signaled over the guy working with Anna at the bar. He greeted Eddie and pulled out a bottle of cheap rum and began to pour his drink. Once he finished, he slid the drink to the gigolo and walked off to a patron giving Anna a tough time.

“Tough night, Eds?” You questioned

“I guess you could say that. Didn’t even get to fuck the last chick, she just cried about her husband”

“Sounds rough.. Hey question”

He turned his head towards you and cocked his eyebrow, ushering you to ask your question. He took a sip of his drink and took a quick glance around the club. You did the same and brought your voice down to a whisper

“You still selling weed? I know since you started here you stopped dealing but-”

“Yes I still sell weed, just weed though. The harder shit I got from Tommie”

“Well, do you think I can cop some? My dealer recently got booked so i’ve been surviving just on clips”

“Yea that’s cool. You still don’t got a ride home?”

You chewed your lip at his question. You hated talking about your living situation outside of the club. You hated when people paid attention to your life enough for them to be able to ask questions. Being asked questions meant having to give answers.

“Um.. yea. But I just take the bus home, no ones really on there at night”

“Shit Y/N.. That's not safe for a girl like”

He moved closer to you until he was only a few inches away. He took a swig of his drink, finishing it off; then looked you in your eyes. You can see concern paint his face and it runs a chill down your body. He sets the drink down and watches as his bartender friend came and scooped it up. He turned back to you and huffed.

‘“Okay, how about I take you to my place and we smoke a joint.. I’ll take you home afterwards”

“Eddie.. I’ll come over in the morning to pick up the weed. I’m just fine taking the bus” You protested

He let out a low chuckle and looked down at his feet and shook his head. He looked back up at you and chewed at his cheek.

“God, you're so stubborn. I’m not taking no for an answer. When does your shift end?”

“It ended as soon as I hopped off that stage. I just need to get changed and grab my stuff”

“Alright, I’ll see you in 10?”

You nodded and strolled your way to the locker room. As you entered the busier part of the club, a hand brushed against your lower back. An assuming grin pasted onto your face and you turned around. Your smile faded when you found a man in his early fifties behind you. He had a creepy shit eating grin that made your stomach turn. You gave him a scolding look and pushed his hands away.

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” The creep questioned

“We have a no touching rule here. Hands off the merchandise!”

“Come on.. Let me show you what these hands could do, beautiful” He pushed

He wrapped his arm around the back of you and gripped your side. He harshly pulled you into his chest, causing you to stumble over your large platform shoes. He dug his head into the crook of your neck, sniffing and getting the smell of your fading perfume, shampoo, and sweat. He groaned and lifted his head up to your ear.

“$100 and I’ll rock your world” He whispered

His statement made you shudder. You pushed both your palms against his chest and attempted to get out his grip. He held tightly onto you, digging his nails in your side. You hissed in pain and grunted as you used all your strength to get away. The tussle caused a disturbance in the crowd and there was a large amount of attention on you two. You turned your head and watched as the crowd broke in two. The tall long haired boy, you were just speaking to; pushed through the crowd. He reached out and pulled you and the man apart. He quickly scanned you to make sure you didn’t need his immediate attention and turned back to the older man. He gripped onto the man’s shirt with his fists and got into his face. The man's eyes shot open in fear and all color left his face, like he had seen a ghost. On the other hand, Eddie was completely red. It was almost funny how similar he looked to a tomato at that moment.

“Did you not hear the fucking girl?” He shouted loudly, his voice rasping from overuse

“She told you hands off! But you’re too much of a sick bastard to respect that!”

Two bouncers rushed to the center of the club and pulled the two apart. One attempted to cool Eddie down whilst the other dragged the creep out, kicking and screaming like a toddler. Eddie walked over to you. He placed his hands on your forearms and scanned you thoroughly, making sure this guy didn’t leave even a tiny scratch on you. His eyebrows pressed together and formed a mini valley in between them. He let out a sigh of relief and nodded to himself before pulling away.  

“I could’ve handled that myself” You scoffed

“Yeah, sure looked like it. Now go get changed so i can get you home before people get more rowdy”

You narrowed your eyes at him and then rolled them. You quickly turned around and made your way into the locker room. Eddie watched as your figure disappeared into the next room and smiled to himself. The bouncer behind him patted his back, bringing him back to earth.

“Don’t forget what you do for work”

With that statement, his smile faded

⋆.ೃ࿔*

You walked out of the locker room wearing an oversized purple crewneck and a pair of black biker shorts. You swapped your tall pleasers for a pair of scuffed white reeboks and slouchy socks. You sported a medium sized duffle bag over your shoulder. You waved bye to Anna at the bar and Eddie’s friend, who you noticed she had been eyeing. You said your goodbyes to the bouncers and walked out into the parking lot. You spotted Eddie leaned against his bike, smoking a cigarette. As soon as he noticed you coming, he dropped the cig and put it out under his foot. He reached for your hand and assisted you up onto the seat. He grabbed his helmet and passed it over to her. She looked up at him confused.

“Aren’t you gonna need it?”

“Not as much as you”

He took the helmet from your hands and placed it onto your head. He swung his leg over the bike and straddled the seat. He popped the stand and revved the gas. You wrapped your arms tightly around his waist. He picked his foot off the ground and the bike began to move. The perk of getting off at this hour was how peaceful the streets were. No one is on the streets. It's just the sounds of the night and the light from the street lamps. It's calming. A big contrast from the club scene. The wind that brushed past you as the bike sped made you feel like you were flying. 

After a bit of a drive, Eddie pulled up into the gravel driveway in front of a trailer. He turned the bike off and popped the stand. He hopped off and turned around towards you. He held you by the sides of your waist and guided you off. You lifted the helmet off of your head and handed it to Eddie. He looked at you and chuckled. You gave him a confused look.

“What’s so funny?” You questioned?

“Your hair” He pointed out

The realization hit you and you quickly rushed to fix it. He laughed quietly as he watched you act frantically. He shook his head and walked to his front door. He wiggled his key in the lock until he heard a click. He opened the door for you and ushered inside of the trailer. As you walked in, you took a glance around the house. You took notice of the hats hung on the walls and the mugs presented on the shelf. You turned back to Eddie who was now locking and closing the door.

“Nice decor you got here”

“It’s not mine.. My uncle’s”

“You live with your uncle?” You questioned

You walked around the living room, looking over the magazines on top of the coffee table. A new edition of Rolling Stones, Guns N’ Roses posed on the front. You sat on the couch in front of the table and flipped through the pages.

“Nope, I gave him the apartment Tommie got for me as a signing bonus”

He leaned against the tv stand as he watched you flip through the pages. You closed the book and pushed it to the side, uncovering an Italian Vogue. You laughed to yourself and cocked an eyebrow. He looked down at what you were looking at and his breath caught in his throat. He tried to speak up but nothing would come out. 

“Never took you for a designer fashion kinda guy” You joked

You brushed over the front cover and flipped to the next page. Eddie watched in horror as if everything was in slow motion. You fully flipped the front and revealed the cover of a Playboy issue. Your mouth gaped open and you stood frozen looking over the page. A blonde woman seductively sipping on a bunny shaped milkshake. Once you snapped back; you quickly closed the magazine and stood up. You cleared your throat and looked up at a red face Eddie.

“Let's go roll up” you said in attempt to change the subject

“Yea.. yea lets do that”

Eddie pushed off the tv stand and led the way to his room. You followed behind, giving space between the both of you. He opened the door to his room and flicked on the lights. Once the room brightened, you could see the copious amounts of posters plastered on the wall. A red warlock guitar was hung in front of his mirror. The rest of the room was decorated with nerd memorabilia. Eddie sat down on his bed and leaned back, kicking his shoes off. He grabbed the rolling tray off his bedside table and placed the weed in the grinder. You slipped off your shoes and placed them at the end of his bed, along with your duffle bag. He passed the tray to you and signaled you to roll the joint. He got up and walked over to a corner in his room containing a few milk crates filled with vinyls. He picked up an album and slipped the disk out the sleeve. He placed it onto the player and hit play. War pigs began to play. You hummed to yourself as you licked the paper and sealed the joint. He sat back down on his mattress and took the joint from your manicured fingers. He placed it between his lips and brought the lighter up to the end, taking small puffs to make sure it was pulling correctly. He took a proper hit and pulled the joint away from his lips. He inhaled deeply and held it for a second, he then puffed it out into the air above him. He handed the blunt back to you.

“I’m sorry about earlier tonight.. James and Allen just seemed to be busy with a group of drunks and-”

“It’s alright Eddie. If anything I should be apologizing for giving you an attitude”

“You were just being independent”

“Yea, but that wasn’t okay. You were just trying to-”

As you spoke, Eddie took the burning joint from between your fingers and took another hit. He then leaned closer to you and blew the smoke straight into your face, shutting you up. You accidently inhaled the cloud and went into a coughing fit. Eddie quickly panicked and grabbed the half drunken water bottle off of one of his bedside tables. He popped off the cap and handed it to you to drink. You chugged the rest of the water in the bottle and took a deep breath. You squinted your eyes at Eddie and threw the bottle at him. He immediately put his arms up to block the hit.

“Hey! I was just helping you!”

“Yea totally trying to help” You jokingly spat back

You got up, went over to Eddie’s music corner and shuffled through the albums till you landed on something familiar. You picked a Metallica album, Ride the lightning. You grabbed the cover of the Black Sabbath album and placed the disk back into the sleeve, then into the bin. You grabbed the other album and slipped the record out and placed it onto the player. Fight fire with fire began to play through the speakers. You smiled to yourself and walked back over to the bed, taking a seat.

“Didn’t take you as a Metallica fan, or even a metal fan for that matter”

“Well, my uncle used to be a huge metalhead.. Plus I had like the biggest crush on Kirk since my sophomore year”

He cocked his head and gave you a little smirk. You laid back onto his pillows and let out a soft yawn. Eddie looks over to the digital alarm clock on his dresser then back at you.

“It’s pretty late.. If you’d like, you could borrow some clothes and stay the night”

“No it’s alright, I don’t wanna run you out of a bed”

“Are you sure? I’m just fine on the couch, it doubles as a pull out”

“Look at you being all chivalrous.. But i’m just fine going home”

“Alright, i’m gonna quickly shower then i’ll drive you home”

You give him a quick nod and watch him roam around his room, grabbing clothes. He walks out of the room and into his bathroom, which was maybe like 6 feet away. You hear the shower turn on and the curtain open. Another yawn hits you and your eyelids slowly shut. Once your vision was dark, a wave of tiredness slept over; knocking you out cold.

Eddie finished his shower and quickly got dressed, making sure he didn’t have you waiting too long. He walked out the bathroom and down the short distance of the hallway, into his room. He opened his mouth, ready to say something; until he noticed your sleeping body in his bed. He smiled to himself. He grabbed the blanket on his bed and draped it over you. He reached over you and grabbed a pillow. He went to the hallway closet next to his door and pulled a blanket from the shelf.

“Night, hun”

He grabbed his stuff and settled on the couch in the living room.

⋆.ೃ࿔*

The sunlight beamed from behind a slit in a set of blackout curtains. You groan and try to shield your eyes from the sudden brightness. You sit up and blink until your vision is no longer blurry. You scan the room, not recognizing it whatsoever. You get up from the bed and make your way down the hallway and into the rest of the house. As you walked into the kitchen, the smell of bacon entered your senses. You rubbed your eyes and looked over towards the stove, finding the tall long haired boy slaving away. The memories from last night came back to you and you felt less confused.

“Morning Eds”

“Morning sleeping beauty!”

He turned around with a plate of bacon and another plate with scrambled eggs. He placed them down onto the small two person table and turned back around to grab the plate of toast. You pulled out the chair closest to you and sat down. Eddie passed you a fork and an extra plate.

“Apple or orange juice?”

“Orange for sure”

He grabbed two cups out of his cabinet and the juice out of the fridge. He filled up both glasses and placed them on the table. He grabbed himself a plate and utensils and sat down across from you. He took his fork and served himself some eggs.

“Help yourself.. I won’t be able to eat all this myself”

You crack a smile and serve yourself some food. Eddie scarfs down his plate like he hasn’t eaten in days. He grabs his dishes and places them in the sink. He leans against the kitchen counter and waits for you to finish eating while he sips his juice. You finish up and get up to put your dishes in the sink. Eddie quickly snatched them away from you and put them in the sink to scrub.

“No lady should wash her own dishes”

“Drop the gentleman act” You joke

He shrugs his shoulders and turns around, running the sink faucet. He turns his head to look at you while he cleans the dishes. You lean against the counter, arms crossed; watching Eddie do chores.

“Go get ready so I can drop you off at home”

“Yea sure.. Wait, what time is it?”

“Like 11:40, why?”

“Shit, I got a meeting with Tommie at 12:15”

“I gotta go to the club anyways; need to pick up my pay and get my jobs for the day”

You nod at him and head back to his room to fix up your hair and makeup. Once you finish up, you take advantage of Eddie’s busyness to take a look around. You pace around his room and admire his posters and his mini elf and wizard figurines. As you look at the Dungeons & Dragons memorabilia, you notice a photo hanging up on his mirror. You grab it and take a closer look. It was the class of 86’. You scan the picture and find you, a few people away; you find Eddie. A sense of nostalgia waves over you. Your attention is pulled away by a knock on the door frame. Eddie stood there drying his hands off with a kitchen towel. He swung the towel onto his shoulder and walked over to your place by the dresser.

“Whatcha looking at?

“Our class photo”

“Took me 6 years to get, my second most prized possession”

“What do you think baby Eddie would think about your life now?”

“He’d probably just be thankful he’s finally getting laid”

You laughed and placed the picture back on the mirror. You walked back over to the bed and sat down to slip on your shoes. You opened your bag and looked through it to find a pair of earrings.

“What about you? What would baby Y/N think?

You took a second to consider the question, chewing at your lip.

“Um.. mind if I don't answer?”

“Yea.. Yea that’s completely fine”

Eddie scratched the back of his head, obviously worried and feeling regretful. He grabbed his van keys and a pack of cigarettes off his nightstand. He grabs his leather jacket from the hook on the back of his door and slipped it on. He looked over at you and watched as you picked up your bag and laid it over your shoulder. You stood up off the bed and followed Eddie out the house. He clicked the car remote and opened the doors. He ran up to the car from behind you and opened the passenger door. He jokingly bowed as you hopped in the vehicle. He shut the door and walked over to the other side, entering the car. He slipped his keys into the ignition and started the car. He looked over at you to make sure you were settled before pulling out of the driveway. He turned on the stereo, an Iron maiden tape loaded in the deck. He nodded to the tune.

“Hey, open the glove compartment and pick a tape.. I trust your judgment”

You nod and pop open the glove department and a load of tapes fall out onto your lap. You chuckle at the amount of music he owns. You search through the copious amounts of cassettes and settle on two options, AC/DC and Slayer.

“Pick one, Back in Black or Reign in Blood”

“Reign in Blood, for sure”

You press the eject button on the stereo and pull out the previous tape, then replacing it with the new one. Angel of death blares through the speakers, Eddie only cranks up the volume further. You both nod your heads to the song.

⋆.ೃ࿔*

You and Eddie walk into the club together, immediately getting interesting looks from Anna and Eddie’s friend; whose name you learned was Mason. Eddie took your bag from you and wished you good luck with the meeting. As you walk over to Tommie’s office, Anna gives you the ‘I’m watching you’ signal. You shake your head and enter the office. Tommie is leaned against the side of his desk, wearing an expensive looking black suit with a gray tie. He perked up as soon as he noticed you walking in the room. He opens his arms wide, ready for a hug. You happily embrace the man. He pulls away and goes to sit down at the other side of his desk. You pull out the other velvet chair and sit down. 

“How are you doing, My angel?”

“I’m good Tommie!”

“Great great.. Okay now to business”

You lean forward, giving him your full respect and attention

“Recently I've noticed that business has been pretty slow. So I've made some decisions with my partners down in Carmel. We are going to be having an event this Saturday”

“I’m listening..”

“The angels of Sapphire.. Which will only make your nickname more true”

“What’s the catch Tom?”

“You will be our lovely hostess, Our spotlight lady of the night”

“Does that mean I get my own special costume”

“Absolutely and you will only have to dance once that night; Your own big number to close it out”

“You’re a genius, Tom”

“And you’re my star”

The two of you settled the details of the event and agreed to meet another time. You left the office and Eddie stood in the hallway waiting for you. He smirked and patted your shoulder

“Congrats, ‘angel’’

“Shut up..”

“I’m just joshing, but seriously congrats”

“Thanks Eds”

“I’ll come pick you after your shift”

You gave him a thumbs up and a wave. You headed towards the locker room but not before taking one more glance back at Eddie as he entered the office. From a distance, Anna and Mason watched  as the two of you parted ways. They both exchanged a glance and knowing smiles.

“We need to get them together” Anna conspired

“Abso-fucking-lutely” Mason added

[parvulous-writings]

SFW Alphabet // Eddie Munson

Summary: In the title! 

Warnings: None

Notes:  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!  

Not my gif

A - Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Eddie shows his affection in a variety of ways; he’ll share his music with you, giving you recommendations and pointing you in the directions of bands that he enjoys, such as  Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Metallica, and others like it. He’ll also dump information about each band onto you - even if you’ve heard it before, he continues talking. He talks to you about Hellfire - he may not let you join right away, especially if the concept of the game is new to you, but eventually he may do. 

B - Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? Where does the friendship start?)

Eddie didn’t really expect anything in terms of a friendship - or any kind of relationship - when he first spoke to you. As a friend he’s a little bit eccentric, but welcomes the idea of you being interested in some of the same things as him - though at times he may come across as a little gate-keepy. 

C - Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He likes to cuddle you against his chest, playfully lifting you up a little before putting you back down. He’ll then stick to you pretty much like glue, his arm around your shoulder or around your waist. He likes cuddling you from the side - but his favourite would be you sitting on his lap in his trailer, so he can bury his face in your neck, and hold you close.

D - Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking, cleaning, ect?)

He’s not great at cooking, or at cleaning, and he’s comfortable enough that way - he’ll learn more with time,  but for the moment, it’s not great. His idea of settling down - at the moment at least - is just being able to live somewhat comfortably, even if it’s just a small home. The idea of a lavish, metal lifestyle might come later down the line. 

E - Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would likely start with Eddie saying something that he thinks makes his intentions very clear, but really doesn’t. Then he’d probably cut you off - ignoring or avoiding you, and not speaking to you. 

F - Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? Do they wanna get married?)   

Though he is fine with commitment to an extent, he sees marriage as a very different ball-game, and isn’t too sure if he’s ready to take that leap just yet. 

G - Gentle (How gentle are they both physically and emotionally?)

Despite being very excitable and enthusiastic, Eddie knows when to tone it down and pay attention if it’s something important; he likes to cradle you if he knows you need some physical affection in times of need - emotionally he tries to push everything of his to the side to be able to focus on you, even if he can’t do it for very long. 

H - Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it, and what are they like?)

Eddie does like hugs - side hugs more than most. He also does try to rugby tackle you quite frequently; and you’ll have a bit of a hard time not having a Munson backpack. He also likes to hug from behind - the type of hugs he can give varies, and he’s not all that fussy. 

I - I Love You (How fast do they say the “love” word?)

You have to be the one to say it first - he’s unsure if you would be comfortable with him saying it, but if you say it first, it gives him the green light, and he’ll say it all the time - every time he sees you and says hello, every time he says goodbye, and sometimes when you’re in the middle of something and he’s just been staring at you for the past few minutes. 

J - Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What are they like when jealous?)

Eddie does get a little bit jealous - but he doesn’t immediately get typically possessive. He gets, as Mike and Dustin would put it, revved up. He’ll start acting out a little bit - trying to spook off whomever is the cause of his jealousy. 

K - Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are usually quick and on the lips, when in public at least. When alone, his kisses can be on any exposed skin, and can range from brief and feather light, to definitely leaving a hickey.  He likes to be kissed around his neck and shoulders, and bonus points if you kiss his tattoos - he goes wild for that. 

L - Little Ones (How are they around kids?)

He’s fairly decent - not the worst but there is room for improvement. He’s more like the weird uncle than the father figure; and he does not understand the concept of baby talk. He’ll get the tone down (the high pitched voice) but asides from that, he does not understand baby talk. 

M - Morning (What are mornings like with them?)

Usually, Eddie is up at the crack of dawn, pottering about before the sun has even fully risen yet - why, you have no idea, and he never actually seems to be doing anything substantial either - just moving things around for the sake of it, it seems. 

N - Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

They’re quite often late nights, spent in his trailer, in his room, laughing about something that someone said god knows how long ago, until it gets so late, and you both get so tired that you pass out. 

O - Open (When do they open up about themselves?)

Not often, and not directly. He might sprinkle something of himself or that’s affected him into a D&D campaign, or he might sit strumming his guitar humming lyrics that hit too close to home for him when he thinks you can’t hear him. He will tell you so much without telling you directly, you just need to pay attention. 

P - Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It depends on the scenario - in a D&D campaign he can be incredibly patient with his players - but outside of that, his patience is virtually non-existent; he gets angry at some of the smallest inconveniences known to man. 

Q - Quizzes (How much do they remember about you?)

The thing he remembers most about you is the kind of music that you like. It’s the easiest thing for him to remember, along with your favourite bands, and your favourite colour. If your bands  had patches, he’d probably try and find you one. 

R - Remember (Favorite memory with you?)

The first time he played guitar for you. In the grand scheme of things it was such an inconsequential moment, that affected nothing else - but that look of love and adoration in your eyes, he’ll never forget it; it’s always in his mind, somewhere. 

S - Security (How protective are they?)

He’s pretty protective - more so against the judgement or comments of others, than anything physical. He knows (and kind of expects) for you to stick up for yourself in physical situations (unless absolutely dire, and you’re completely helpless, then he will definitely step in). 

T - Try (How much effort do they put in?)

He does try - it may not always seem like it, but that’s because he’s trying to balance so many different things that take up his time and thought process. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, however - he most certainly does. To remind you, he’ll occasionally force you to sit down with him so he can play guitar “Just for you, sweetheart,” 

U - Ugly (What are their bad habits?)

He has a tendency to have small temper tantrums - though he avidly denies it every time you try and bring it up. It can be cute, sure, but sometimes it can just be frustrating.  “I do not have temper tantrums!” He’ll exclaim as he lobs the closest small object in your vague direction to get you to shut up. 

V - Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not really “concerned” with his looks as such - he’s comfortable with how he dresses, expressing himself in a way that may seem different to most, but he’s happy with that. As long as he’s able to wear what he wants, he’s happy. 

W - Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He probably would start to pine - wandering around akin to a lost puppy. He’d remember your favourite bands, and listen to that music for a while when he wants to imagine you there with him. 

X - Xtra (Random HC)

Sometimes, without any warning, he’ll pull up in front of your home, and demand you get in the car for a “road trip”. It’s not really a road trip, it’s usually just a drive to the edge of Hawkins. 

Y - Yuck (Things they don’t like either in general or a partner?)

He doesn’t like people who judge others - at all. (He says as he judges said people). He finds it incredibly frustrating, and usually just ends up walking away.  “There’s no use arguing with them. They can’t be reasoned with.” 

Z - Zzz (Sleep habits)  

Eddie’s sleep schedule is... Strange. Sometimes he won’t sleep at all, other times he’ll sleep in way too late, and make himself late for school. There’s really no telling what kind of night you’re going to be in for. 

[real-jane]

bug and bear

[steve rogers x fem!reader]

summary: you’re set to marry a man you’re not sure you even like, but the person going to all the appointments with you is your life-long best friend.

words: 3.5k

a/n: I got inspired for this watching Toscana on Netflix! the whole idea of helping someone with their wedding while you pine for them… one of my fav tropes. this is my first time writing for steve 👀. enjoy!!

—

He’s attended every appointment with you–choosing flowers, cake tastings, all four caterers (since your mother wasn’t convinced that your idea of a food truck would properly serve a hundred guests, it was thanks to Steve’s meticulous notes that she finally came around… hundreds of dollars saved, too)--and never once complained. 

Your friendship started with playing hide-and-go-seek around your neighborhood the first day your family moved in next door. Steve has been game for whatever you asked since. Friends in a way which makes ‘best’ feel insufficient, and far more fierce about vouching for you than your own brothers ever were. Steve’s a part of you.

The alterations place tried to chase him away for your dress fitting, but you needed his opinion! ‘It’s bad luck’–who cares? Your girlfriends had gushed over your dress when you first tried it, to a degree that you couldn’t remember if it suited you until you were standing there in the damn thing six months later, staring at yourself in the mirror. Steve didn’t say anything. Didn’t have to. He just leaned forward, arms braced on his knees, and smiled. 

His gentle demeanor has grounded you the entire wedding planning process, so when your mother signs you up for a ballroom dance class… he’s affable. He’s unbothered. Of course he’ll go, of course he’ll wait, of course he’ll be your partner when the attendees are unevenly matched, of course he’s good at it, too.

But he isn’t your fiancé, and that’s why you’re fucked. 

Said groom begs out of appointments with such frequency that sometimes you forget to even tell him about one. Did you mention the dance class? Or are you prescient, able to intuit his answer without needing to bring it up? Why would your own fiancé ever willingly join you for something that wasn’t his idea?

Why did Brock ask you to marry him? That question keeps you up at night, as he snores from the other side of your too-large bed. 

You’ve been with Brock since college. You don’t remember what it feels like to get butterflies, just from the way he looks at you. His attention is certainly not as piercing as Steve’s softest gaze, because that man has never had an unsteady blink when you rely on his eye contact for reassurance. He probably wouldn’t blink, ever again, if that was what you needed. Brock doesn’t seem to mind how often you’re around the blond; time and again, he’s said how faithful you are, how loyal. He didn’t agree to Steve being in your wedding party, however, and it’s probably for the best because if Steve stood behind you while you told Brock you’d love him forever, it would feel like a betrayal of a relationship which never was. 

Loyalty to Brock feels an awful lot like mutiny when you’re swaying in circles with the man who keeps his promises. Steve’s hand is warm at the small of your back. When you take an unsure step, he squeezes your joined hands. ‘You can stand on my feet,’ he whispers when the instructor steps out of the room to take a call. If Brock were here, he’d be dragging you along with no discernable rhythm or form.

It’s not that you don’t get along with Brock; you root for the same sports teams, you like the same music, you both like to cook and he’s taken you on some of the best trips you could ever imagine. Sex is infrequent but fine. He’s just not… that nice to you. He says he loves you like he’s forecasting the weather. He wouldn’t let you put the soles of your new dance shoes on his dress shoes so you’d stop tripping. So.

You let yourself slip into the daydream. 

Stepping up onto Steve’s shoes, pressing your chest to his. Leaning your cheek against his chin. Closing your eyes. He’s humming, just a soft little tune. You’ve laid against his chest sobbing, before; touch is not an unfamiliar shared experience. Just not around Brock. Not because Brock would care. You’re not even sure your fiancé would notice. But–

“You don’t like him.” 

It comes out of your lips too fast, on a quick exhale like your mouth knows something your brain hasn’t realized. Steve doesn’t say anything. He rubs a circle over your spine. You try to pull back, to look up at him, but he holds fast. The instructor returns to the room and you hastily step down, catching your heel. Thanks to his steady grip on your hand, you manage to avoid falling, but the woman running the class gives you a disgruntled snort. 

Class is dismissed without Steve looking you in the eye once. He’s still at your elbow, but he’s quiet. He doesn’t turn the radio on in the car. He stares at the road. You can't bring yourself to break the silence, but all you want Steve to do is tell you whether you’ve made the right assumption. The street lights come on and the sky darkens, and you’re glad you can’t see the blank expression on his face anymore.

Two blocks from the apartment you share with Brock, he pulls over, shuts the car off, and rubs his chin. You fidget with your ring. He can’t help but clock your movement, and he grasps your wrist, interlacing your fingers like he usually does when you’re driving long-distance. Steve brings your hand closer, studying the bespoke diamond. 

“You’re not a diamond girl,” he murmurs. Finally, finally… he looks at you.

Two decades of friendship zip through your brain on a reel. Every time he’s given you that look, stripped of any teasing or inside jokes, distilled into one composite realization that Steve Rogers has always looked at you like that. Like you’re sunshine, or something rare and precious. But not a diamond, because he’s right. You hate that ring.

He leans back in his seat, letting your arm drape across the console so he can keep a tight hold on your hand, and he doesn’t look away. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you peep, when he sighs for the thousandth time. 

“You were too excited, bug–how could I? The promising quarterback asked you out! I wasn’t sure your feet were ever gonna touch earth again.”

“Steve–I’ve been seeing him for almost a decade!” Heat rises in your cheeks. “Why didn’t you tell me the second you met him?”

He frowns. “Don’t think I haven’t been counting the days,” he says, and your heart lurches. 

“You should’ve said something.”

“Would you have listened?” Steve bites his lip for a second like he doesn’t want to let you know the whole truth. He thinks better of it, squeezing your hand. “I don’t have to live with him, buggy, so what does it matter? If you’re happy, I’m golden, you know that.”

You sink into the passenger seat. The inside of his car blurs into a landscape of watery glowing lights. 

“It’s just–” he stops. You turn your head away from him so he can’t see a droplet zing down your cheek. He plays with your engagement ring, twisting it. It doesn’t fit you but Brock never bothered to try to get it resized, so you figured you’d wait and get it sized with your wedding band. “This feels like the end,” Steve says.

“Tell me not to do it, then.”

He balks at the challenge just long enough that it hurts. “I’ll support whatever choice you make,” he says, knifing you between the ribs with his nobility. 

This isn’t your best friend, who drove three hours to help you move into the dorms freshman year and gave you all his unsolicited opinions about placement of your unironic Shrek poster. This isn’t Steve, who tells you if your spaghetti sauce needs more garlic, or your plants need less water, or your car needs an oil change. Whoever this is, he’s not the Steve you… you love. He’s hiding behind good intentions, and it is painful enough trying to riddle through your own muddled feelings about your impending wedding without him coming up short for reason, too. So, you push open the passenger door, and rip your hand out of his hold.

“Bug–” You slam the door on his pleading call, striding down the sidewalk in your flip-flops, with your dance shoes dangling off two fingers and your phone clenched in your fist so tight you’d surely shatter the screen (if it weren’t for the heavy-duty cover Steve bought for you). His door opens and shuts behind you, and he’s running after you. You’re at the corner when he catches up, snagging your elbow. “Listen to me–” he breathes. 

“What kind of girl am I?” you demand, forcing him to follow you over the crosswalk. Your tears are furious, and your feet ache. 

“Hey–”

“Steven!” You rip your arm free, dodging around an annoyed older couple who you nearly barrel into. “You exploded my life,” you say, swiping your hand under your nose. “You think I can marry a man I know you hate?”

“I don’t, honey, I don’t.” He pulls you to a bench and forces you to sit with his hands on your shoulders. He kneels in front of you.

“Oh my god! Do you know how many people spit on the sidewalk?”

He rolls his eyes and cups your cheeks. “You’re hysterical. I’m–shit, bug. I envy him.” Steve wipes away the fresh tears, and he chuckles at the stunned look on your face. “You’re my world. My buggy. How could I interfere in your happiness? Even if it hurts me not to. You’re allowed to make choices without my influence, and you should. Hmm? You went three hours away for college without asking if it was gonna rip my heart out of my chest.”

You can’t help the hiccough of a laugh. “There she is. It wasn’t very nice of you, you know.”

“You don’t own me,” you manage, despite the smile which threatens your cheeks. 

“I’m acutely aware of that, thank you.” He brushes your cheekbone. “I’m… trying. To make peace with the idea that You and Me aren’t always gonna be attached at the hip.”

“You did follow me to the city, you stalker.”

“You begged me for months!”

“You caved!”

“I did,” he says. His cheeks flush. Steve’s eyes can’t decide which of yours to study, but his stare is intense. “I don’t know what I’m doin’, here. But all I know is, if it was my name in curly script that you hand-wrote on a hundred invitations, you couldn’t keep me away from one second of planning our day.”

“I can’t even get rid of you now,” you say with a sad smile. You pull one of his hands from your face and press it between yours.

“So.” He shrugs. “Where is he? Huh? I feel like I’m the proxy for a dead man.”

You sigh. Your thoughts coming straight off Steve’s lips. “He says I’m better at ‘all this’ than he is. He ‘trusts me.’” 

“He’s–fuck.”

“You’re cursing a lot, bear.” 

His face lights up at the affectionate title. “I’m sorry I haven’t been truthful.”

“Lay it on me. Please.”

Steve promptly sits beside you, shoulder pressed to yours. You loop your arm with his and wait.

“I… yeah. I hate him,” he admits. “Brings out the ugliest parts of me. I never got jealous when you dated in school, but he made you draw a line, and I assumed (incorrectly or not) that it meant one day you’d have to stop talking to me. Which–when I called you from the bar? Remember that?”

You smile. “The day after Sam’s birthday? When you were shouting over the aggressive ABBA sing-along?”

“Yeah. I called Bucky, and I told him I needed him to take me out and get me wasted, and not ask me any questions.”

“He succeeded. You were barely intelligible–”

“Brock talked to me.”

The way your eyes widen has him nodding right away. “Yeah. He told me to play my little game, because you were never gonna leave him.”

“When the fuck did he say that?”

“After you told me he didn’t feel comfortable with me being your Man of Honor. I approached him on Sam’s birthday while you were doing the cake prep. Told him I hoped there were no hard feelings, that I was happy for you guys… he laughed in my face. He’s got a real ugly side when he drinks, bug.”

You swallow hard. “Jesus. I sent our invitations out before the party.”

“Yep. Which is why I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. The panic you would’ve had after two margaritas…”

“I would’ve gotten sick.”

He rubs your arm. “You were already so stressed out–”

“I had a panic attack at the post office. Mom had to pry the box out of my hands in front of a very concerned postal worker.”

“What–you did?”

“That’s why I cried when you handed me a drink,” you snort. Your head falls onto his shoulder. “Can I ask you a question? No frills.”

“Shoot.”

“Would you feel differently if I was engaged to someone you liked?”

“Hmm.” He glances down at you, but his face is shadowed with the street lamp behind him so you can’t fully tell what he’s thinking. But he points at your ring and holds out his hand. You slip your fingers into his without question. You know every groove in those fingers, by touch. He lifts your ring towards the amber glow. 

“No. I wouldn’t. I’d still lose you in every way that matters.” Your blood thrums in your ears as he works the massive diamond from your finger with ease. “If he knew you at all,” he murmurs, “there would be a garnet on this finger. 14k gold, small band. Initials engraved in the band–E.M.R.”

“Bear,” you breathe. The corner of his mouth turns up. He wiggles the end of his pinky into your ring, and then leans forward so he can kiss the imprint of the stone on your skin.

“But then–I’d be pretty pissed if he proposed with my grandmother’s ring,” he says softly. “You ever thought about it, buggy?” When he looks at you next, he’s so close to your face that you shiver. It doesn’t take much to press your forehead to his.

“At first, no… especially with our moms always talking about it,” you say. He laughs. “But you asked Peggy to prom senior year and I thought the earth was gonna fall out from under me.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Once I went off to school, I dreamed about you showing up at my dorm in the middle of the night to tell me you needed me. Breaks were worse, especially Summer when I could set my watch by your morning text, asking me what we were gonna do that day. But you grew up quick, and way less awkwardly than I did, and there was no way you’d ever, ever like me. So, when I met Brock, and he was the first guy besides you to ever think I was worth spending time around, it sorta felt like my only chance. I think… I think I knew you didn’t like him when I brought him home that first time. I convinced myself that you wouldn’t let me move to the city with Brock if you didn’t like him. I still can’t believe you moved here, too. Or that you’re here, right now–”

He kisses your temple, and your throat closes off for a second. “I have loved you since you hopped outta that moving truck when we were ten. I wanted to ask you to Prom, by the way, but you told me you were gonna go with Carol and Maria.”

Your eyes flutter open and you glare at him, mouth agape. “We’re idiots.”

He laughs. “Yeah, bug. A pair of dumbasses.”

“God.” Your fingers trace his jaw like it’s new territory. “I–I don’t think I like Brock, either.”

“No?”

You shake your head. “He’s not–whatever. He’s not you, Steve, and that makes him deficient in every way.”

He sits back from you, carding a hand through his hair, almost like he doesn't believe you. “What are you going to do?”

“Ask me.”

“What–”

You cup his cheek. “Not to marry him.”

It takes him two seconds to get with the program. Steve holds the engagement ring which is wrong for you between two fingers. He slides off the bench and kneels on the sidewalk once again, making you cringe, but at least you can see his eyes again—nearly green from the lamplight. He rubs your knee with his free hand. 

“Don’t put this back on. It’s not right for you to be with somebody who doesn’t jump at the chance to watch you learn to waltz.” When he smiles, your whole future settles into view. “But if you want to spend every day feeling like someone breathes because you do, then… I know a guy. And I know a ring, with my name on it. And if you’re game… could be your name too.” 

The lights bathe the entire street in some kind of magical glow, and this is exactly how you dreamed of Steve Rogers when you were a smitten teen. Well… not with his knees on concrete, with another man’s promise in his hand, but with that sweet smile… offering you a world which was always yours. You just didn’t know it until he offered. 

“My mom is gonna be pissed,” you breathe. “She just picked out her dress.”

Steve’s face breaks into a triumphant grin and he swoops his arms around you, twirling you around and around until you’re dizzy with laughter. When he sets you on your feet again, he hugs you so tight that you can feel his heart thumping. 

“She will get over not hosting a hundred person party. Your mom loves me, bug,” he murmurs.

“It’s easy to love you. Wait—“

He hovers over you, so tempted to kiss you, but he holds off when you touch his lips. 

“Once I give it back. Then I’ll kiss you.”

“And?” His ears perk up, and you can’t help but laugh.

“I’m yours.”

“Better get you home, then.”

“You are home, bear. Since we were ten.”

“If you don’t stop that, I might cry.”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Come on.” You nod towards the prior block, where he is parked. He tucks Brock’s ring into the toes of your dance shoes, and practically skips back to his car. He pulls open the door for you, and jogs around to the driver’s seat. You’re hardly buckled before he’s peeling out.

–

Brock isn’t home. 

Leaving is easy when you look around a place where you lived with a person, who never liked your taste much. Staring at art he chose, and the colors he likes, and the fireplace he refused to use so he’d never have to clean it… it’s strange that you would ever have thought this was a life you could settle into comfortably. It’s not Steve’s place, which is filled with antiques from going upstate in the Summer with you, and funny paintings found at flea markets, and the constellation motif he let you paint on the ceiling of the bathroom when you both had one too many tequila shots. Nothing about Brock’s apartment draws you in, or makes you want to stay.

You set the ring on the counter, spotless from his meticulous cleaning routine, with a short note vague enough to leave Steve out of it, and clear enough to let him know that you’re calling off the wedding.

Then, you take your wedding dress out of the spare room closet where you buried it behind golf clubs Brock never used. Turns it out was bad luck for your impending nuptials for Steve to see you in it. 

When you descend the front stairs of your building, Steve is leaning against his car, nervously tapping his foot. 

“How’d it go?”

“He wasn’t there. I have no idea where he is. Haven’t heard from him all day,” you realize. “Couldn’t think of anything else to take.”

He clocks the garment bag over your shoulder and holds out a hand for it. “Ooh, you grabbed the gown,” he says appreciatively, hanging the hook over the ceiling handle behind the driver’s seat. 

“You never said you liked it on me.” You wink when he turns on you with panic. He scoffs.

“The things it made me think of were not gentlemanly to say at the time,” he chuckles, sitting in the driver’s seat again. Once you’re seated, he leans over and kisses your cheek. “You didn’t wanna grab clothes, or anything?”

“…Steven, I have two drawers of clothing at your place, and most of the time I’m over, I steal your shirts.”

That makes him grin. “What’s mine is yours, bug.”

“Your… lips?”

“Especially those.”

You’ve dreamed of kissing him since puberty. An embarrassing amount. Your first kiss was abysmal on principle, because it wasn’t with Steve. This kiss is twenty years of loving each other at arm’s length, demolished. He’s gentle, and the angle is difficult across the center console, but boy if it doesn’t feel like he was put on this earth to kiss you.

Part 2

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