#I feel like the reylo one isn’t the best choice but I couldn’t decide on a tenth

[ohemgeeitscoley]

"I need you to agree to let me record you kissing a complete stranger."

One day Rey is going to tell Poe no to participating in his crazy social experiments.  But one kiss won't hurt, will it?

Kiss on me (1/1)

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Rey/Ben Solo (Reylo)

Note:  @andyouweremine​ sent me this prompt:  also here's your reylo prompt: they have to kiss someone they've never met for an experiment and HOT DAM they were not expecting THAT.

I spiraled with it, because of course it did. And, as always, andyouweremine deserves all of the thanks and love for betaing this, her own prompt, because she is the best kind of friend. 

Read below or on AO3.

"You need me to what?" Rey sputtered, pulling her glass away from her face so that she could look at Poe. 

Poe gave her a bright, open mouthed smile. "I need you to agree to let me record you kissing a complete stranger."

"That's what I thought you said." Rey lifted the glass back up to her lips to down the rest of the liquid. The tequila burned her throat as she sat the empty glass down toward the edge of the table. "Why exactly do you need me to agree to this?"

"It's for my sociology class," Poe shrugged, almost as if that was explanation enough. "I needed to come up with a social experiment."

"And you came up with strangers kissing while on camera?" Rey rolled her eyes. It really wasn't surprising that Poe would ask her to do something as crazy as kissing a complete stranger. What was, however, surprising to Rey was that she wasn't entirely opposed to the idea.

Rey couldn't even think of the last time she had kissed someone. Between her job at Maz's Cantina, the insane amount of classes she had to enroll in to avoid taking summer classes, and the volunteer hours she needed to maintain to have any chance of getting accepted into the social work grad program, Rey was pretty sure it had been at least a year since she'd even been on a date. 

Maybe agreeing to Poe's request wouldn't be the worst decision.  

"You're considering it?" Poe asked. 

"Absolutely not." Rey grabbed a french fry from Poe's plate and popped it into her mouth. "I swore I would never agree to another one of your social experiments after the mud bikini event."

Color spread across Poe's face as he stared down at the wood table. "I actually got a really great grade on that paper."

Rey snorted. "I bet you did. I was mortified Poe. Standing up on a stage in a bikini while the entire bar voted that mud was the choice substance to cover me with."

"I really didn't think with all of the options that mud was going to be the one that got the highest vote." Poe at least had the decency to cover his laugh by a fake cough and a hand. 

"What did you think was the better option?" Rey asked, raising an eyebrow. She narrowed her eyes as she continued. "Would that have been the option to have vats of honey dumped on me? Or maybe you were really wishing for the flour option. That one sounded particularly explosive."

"Water," Poe choked out, not bothering to hide his laughter anymore. "If I recall,  water was an option.  The cheapest option actually, so obviously water was what I assumed would win."

"Right," Rey looked over at her empty glass and debated ordering another.  It was already past midnight and Rey had an early morning class. "I'm sure you were out a lot with the cost of mud."

Rey picked up Poe's glass and took a drink from it.  She smiled against the rim of the cup when she saw Poe roll his eyes at her. 

"I'm also pretty sure I paid you for that one." Poe took the glass back from her, swirling the liquid in the bottom of the cup. "I think you're just complaining about that one to make it seem like you're doing me a big favor by agreeing to participate in this one."

Rey scrunched her nose. "I would be doing you a favor."

Poe finished his drink. "Another?" He asked, nodding his head toward Rey's empty drink. 

"No thanks." Rey shook her head, pressing her palms against the table."I really should be going. I have a class at 7:30."

"Who voluntarily signs up for a 7:30 class in their last year? You had priority in your class selection."

"It was literally the only time the class was offered. And my scholarship doesn't cover summer tuition. I didn't really have a choice." Rey shrugged, taking another one of Poe's fries. "But it hasn't been too bad. Gives me a good excuse to stay in and go to bed early. Keeps me out of trouble."

Chewing slowly on the fry, Rey thought about agreeing to Poe's request. Rey liked kissing. She always had. It was everything that was usually needed to get to the kissing that stressed her out to the point of wondering if any of it was really worth it. 

There was the fact that she really, truly was busy. That meant that she didn't always notice attractive people were attractive and that she should allow herself to pause and appreciate that about them. Then there was the flirting. Was it too much, too little? Rey had always had a hard time judging if she was coming on too strong. 

After the flirting came the awkward first dates. The movies she sat through with plots that she wasn't interested in, but agreed to because the other person seemed so passionate about some detail or meaning or actor. Rey had never understood the desire to go to a movie on a first date. The theaters were dark and didn't allow for any talking. She wasn't sure that any of her first dates at a movie had led to a second date.

But the awkwardness of trying to keep a conversation going throughout a dinner or even coffee had its own downsides. Dating was a nightmare and if Rey was being honest, her busy schedule might just be an excuse for pausing dating because it had gotten exhausting. 

But kissing, the innate intimacy that just kissing someone entailed. That was something that Rey deeply missed. 

There was something about the feeling of someone else's mouth moving against hers, the brief hesitation over where to place their hands and determining how much pressure was enough and how much was too much. The way a slide of someone's tongue against her own could cause tendrils of pleasure to spread across her body. 

There was an underlying promise of more, but always a satisfaction that maybe, just maybe, that moment could be enough. 

Fuck.

Rey wanted to be kissed.

"If I were to agree," Rey started, leaning her head back against the booth and closing her eyes, "how would it work?"

"You'll do it?" Poe asked and even with her eyes closed Rey could see the smug grin that would be on his face. 

"I didn't say that," Rey sat back up, narrowing her eyes as she looked at Poe. "I asked how it would work if I were to agree."

"Right, right," Poe laughed, holding up two fingers to catch the waiter's attention as he walked by. "Can we get two more?" He asked as the man slowed down by their table.

Rey thought about protesting, but it was already hours past when she should have gone to bed. And she did have a few questions and one more drink wouldn't kill her. 

"What do you want to know?" Poe asked once the waiter walked away, his attention moving back to Rey. 

"Well, so far, all you've told me is that you need me to kiss a stranger on camera. I'd take any other details you'd like to share with me about what that is going to look like."

"Those are the details." Poe slid his plate across the table to Rey. "There isn't much more to it. I'm thinking next weekend since Finn is moving to that new apartment, and he said I can use the old one. You'll show up, stranger will show up, you'll kiss, it'll be recorded, and you'll go your separate ways."

Rey placed her elbows on the table, resting her chin against her hand as she looked at Poe. "No twenty questions and a cup of coffee first?"

"Nope."

"Just you, me, a stranger, and a camera?"

"Actually, I won't be there," Poe gave a small shrug at her concerned glance. "The feed is going to be live streamed to my computer and I'll only be a few blocks away."

Rey must not have looked very convinced or comforted by the idea, because Poe kept explaining, not giving Rey time to say anything.  "I'm not going to have a serial killer walk in Rey. It'll be someone you don't know, but you'll be completely safe. I just think that if anyone else is in the room it'll mess up the dynamic."

"I guess that makes some sense," Rey conceded. "And this is really for an assignment? It's starting to sound a bit like a way to set me up."

Poe lifted up his hand, drawing an x in the air over his heart. "Would I do that?"

"Yes," Rey huffed, an amused smile on his face. "That is absolutely something you would do."

The waiter came back to their table then, setting their drinks down in front of them. 

Rey lifted up one of the glasses, holding it up until Poe did the same and tapped his glass against hers.

"Okay," Rey said, taking a drink. "Okay, I'm in."

*****

Rey arrived at Finn's building 15 minutes before the time Poe texted her to show up. It was silly, but if Rey was going to kiss someone that she didn't know, she wanted to be in the room waiting. She wanted to see them first. 

Walking into the building, Rey placed another mint in her mouth as she started climbing up the three flights of stairs to Finn's old apartment. Finn had talked almost nonstop since he signed the lease for his new apartment about the fact that it had an elevator. By the time Rey made it to the third floor, she couldn't really blame him. 

Glancing down at her phone, Rey pursed her lips at the time. She wanted to be early, but being this early seemed like too much. What if Poe had another couple in the apartment? She didn't want to just barge into someone else's kiss. 

For some reason, she had really expected Poe to send her more information. Maybe a picture of the person she would be meeting, a name, a psychological evaluation confirming that the person didn't share characteristics with a serial killer. 

But all she received was a time to show up and the code to get into the apartment.

Leaning back against the wall across from the apartment door, Rey decided that she'd wait until five minutes before the time Poe told her to show up to go in. Just in case there were other people inside.

That was just enough time for Rey's nerves to settle in. She had been able to distract herself that morning with revisions on a paper and then deciding what to wear and how to do her hair. She had looked up directions how to get to Finn's apartment despite her knowing how to walk from her apartment to Finn's drunk at three AM. She had debated the pros and cons of wearing her favorite lipstick (pro: the color made her lips look full and amazing, con: the lipstick was a little sticky and was a deep shade of red, not exactly the best thing to wear to kiss someone for the first time). She wore chapstick instead.

She had considered stopping for coffee, but then spent half of the walk to the best neighborhood coffee shop thinking about the inevitable bad breath that would come from drinking coffee. 

Five more minutes until she would allow herself to go inside.

Five minutes was plenty of time to leave. To walk back outside and start back toward her apartment with nothing but a quick text to Poe that she was sorry but that she couldn't go through with this. 

Her phone chimed. 

Poe: I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. 

Poe: You won't be disappointed. Promise.

Rey sighed, quickly typing that it was no problem and sending the message.

She thought about saying that she was looking forward to it, but that sounded too desperate. Poe was already on the receiving end of too many of Rey's complaints about how much being single sucked sometimes. 

Not all the time. Most days Rey was okay with it. Logically she knew that her schedule didn't leave her enough time for a relationship. 

But logic didn't stop her from wishing she had someone to share her time with.

Two minutes left.

No longer enough time to leave, she reasoned.

The staircase door opened, two people walked into the hallway. Their conversation stalled when they saw Rey, the girl's stare grew suspicious when she took in Rey, just standing in an empty hallway.

Rey lifted her hand in a small greeting, trying to signal that she didn't mean any harm. Pushing off the wall, Rey stepped toward the door and punched in the code that she memorized after Poe had sent it. The lock whirled to life as it unlocked, Rey opened the door and stepped inside.

No one else was there.

It was weird to see Finn's apartment mostly empty. The studio apartment had always been small, but Finn's belongings and furniture had always been familiar and made it feel homey. Void of his belongings, the studio seemed cold. 

A camera sat on top of a tripod centered in the room toward the back of the far wall. There were four more cameras at the corners of the room, Rey imagined to capture all of the angles. 

Rey moved away from the door, until she decided she was far enough away to not feel like she would be crowding the person whenever they arrived. She faced the door, awkwardly twirling a loose thread on the sleeve of her jean jacket as she waited.

She hated waiting. 

Rey had spent her entire life waiting. After her parents left, nothing more than a green car blurring as it sped down the highway away from her, Rey waited for them to come back. She waited for years before she finally let go of the idea that they would come back and rescue her. 

That she would have a family again. 

After she moved on from waiting for her parents, she waited for the day she would be able to get out of Jakku. She wanted nothing more than to get as far away from Arizona as she could. Away from the desert, the heat, and the vast nothingness that lingered in the sand. 

The day she received her acceptance letter to Coruscant City University, Rey thought she was finally done waiting.  

Instead, after she arrived, Rey waited to feel like she belonged there.

Her therapist liked to remind Rey that waiting and longing were universal feelings. She wasn't alone in wanting to find a place of her own. To find people she belonged with.

A beeping noise broke Rey out of her thoughts, someone was punching in the code to the door. Rey heard the door unlock, but the door remained shut.

Maybe Poe told whoever was on the other side of the door to drag out the first appearance. The anticipation was killing her. Rey glanced at the camera, remembering then that it was recording her already, capturing everything. 

Finally, the door opened. Rey's breath caught in her throat as she took in the man that walked inside the room. Her first instinct was to look away, a voice in her head trying to remind her that it wasn't polite to ogle someone seconds after seeing them for the first time.

Only, in this situation, she was supposed to be kissing him any minute and staring at him might actually be the appropriate response.

A thrill shot through her with that knowledge. 

She let herself look him over. He was standing just in front of the door he had closed after walking in, one hand awkwardly scratching at his neck while the other was shoved in the front pocket of his faded black jeans.

He was tall and broad shouldered. The olive green t-shirt he wore was stretched tight across his chest and it was really unfair how that alone was clouding Rey's mind. The leather jacket he wore over the shirt wasn't sleek and shiny, but well worn and, Rey guessed, probably vintage or passed down.

Everything about his outfit shouted bad boy and that wasn't usually the look that Rey went for, but on him, it worked. 

It really worked.

Rey wondered what he was thinking about when he looked at her. Compared to him, Rey was a burst of color. From the cropped, light-washed denim jacket she wore over a yellow tank top with tiny pink and blue flowers. Her pants were darker, but they were also green. Her flats were gold and glittery with a tiny bow on the center. 

They couldn't possibly look more mismatched. 

His hair looked soft. It was dark and wavy, long enough to cover his ears and to just barely graze over his shoulders. Rey wanted to run her fingers through the stands, to see if it was as soft as it looked.

It was a little overwhelming to think that she could. 

His mouth curved up in a slow, small smile while he took a step toward her. Rey matched his steps until they met somewhere in the middle. He moved a hand out toward hers, running a finger across her wrist before clasping their hands together. 

Rey didn't even know his name. She wasn't sure if she should ask, but she wanted to know. There were so many things about him she wanted to know, things that she wanted to ask. What was his astrological sign, what was his favorite kind of--

His other hand settled on her lower back, his palm warming her skin through the thin fabric of her shirt, and whatever question had been on her mind vanished and all she could think about was him. 

Rey raised her free hand, tracing the side of his face before running her fingers through his hair. He groaned, the sound deep and low, when Rey tugged slightly on the ends. Desire pooled in her stomach at the sound. 

And then she was kissing him.  

Not that Rey had a lot of experience kissing complete strangers, but she had anticipated there being a lot of awkwardness at first. For the most part, when she had imagined what the kiss would be like, she had imagined the kiss to be chaste and a little timid.

But there was nothing chaste or timid about the way he kissed. His mouth moved against hers with certainty, his fingers pressed into her back pushing her closer to him. Rey opened her mouth, revelling in the feeling of his tongue sliding against her own. Letting go of his hand, Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, lifting up on her feet so he didn't have to bend down quite as much.  

He didn't waste any time before burying a hand in her hair. Rey moaned at the sensation of his fingers massaging her scalp. 

His lips were smooth and soft against her own. Rey lowered a hand down from his neck to his back. He was strong. Rey felt the way his muscles in his back shifted under her hands. 

She needed to breathe. The small amounts of air from breathing through her nose was not enough to sustain her. Her lungs burned. It was time for her to break the kiss, but instead she tried to pull him closer, to kiss him deeper, because she didn't want the moment to end. 

He drug his hands away from her back, gliding up the sides of her waist, brushing above the swell of her breasts, before cupping her face. 

Rey pulled away, losing the battle between the kiss and her lungs. He didn't pull away, instead he placed small kisses along her jaw, down the slope of her neck, the hollow of her throat. 

Rey tried to catch her breath, but even though her mouth was now free to breathe normally, her mind was lost in how good his lips felt on her skin.  

Placing a finger under his jaw, Rey pushed upward until he straightened and moved his head away from her skin. 

Rey was suddenly grateful that Poe hadn't given her any real ground rules. Nothing was stopping her from kissing him again. 

So she did. Bunching her fingers into the front of his shirt, Rey pulled him back down into another kiss.

He sighed against her lips, and Rey could feel the way his heartbeat speed up underneath her hand. 

Their second kiss was slower, more sensual. They tested different angles and pressures, working together to find what worked best for them. His hands continued to roam across her body. 

He pulled away first that time, resting his forehead against her own, his breath heavy as he stared at her. 

Rey held his gaze, waiting for him to kiss her again or to say something. 

He didn't do either of those things. Instead, he pulled away, placing one last kiss on her forehead before removing his hands from her body and walking backward to the door. 

Rey watched as he left, unable to figure out what to say to him before he was gone and the door was closing. 

"Oh," Rey said to herself after another moment had passed. She glanced over at the camera, heat flooding her cheeks as she remembered that the entire kiss had been recorded and somewhere Poe was watching her lose herself in thought after a guy left her alone without saying a single word to her. 

While she wasn't comfortable committing to anything without allowing her some time for her adrenaline and other hormone levels to level out, Rey was positive that had been the best kiss of her life.

And she didn't even know his name.

This was why Rey knew agreeing to help Poe out with another experiment was a bad idea. How was she supposed to go about her life knowing that somewhere out there in the city was him with those lips and those hands and who knew just how to kiss her without her saying anything? 

It was entirely unjust and entirely Poe's fault. 

Shaking her head, Rey looked around the studio one last time before she walked out. She focused on the many buttons of the lock on the door, quickly hitting the button she was only sort of convinced was the lock button.  It worked, Rey could hear the lock click into place. 

"I'm Ben, by the way."

Rey turned her to the side to confirm that the deep voice was him. He was leaning against the wall next to the stairwell. 

"Ben," Rey repeated with a smile.  "That's a nice name."

"Not really."  Ben laughed and it was a beautiful sound. One Rey wanted to hear again.  "But thank you."

Rey walked closer to him, resting her hand on the handle to the stairwell door. "I'm surprised you're still out here."

Ben's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Rey tilted her head, turning the door handle. "I mean you left so fast back there?" She pulled open the door, pressing her palm just above the handle to keep it from closing again. "I assumed you had somewhere to be."

She tried to keep the hurt out of her voice.  To keep the insecurity that had bubbled up inside her-that maybe what might have been the best kiss of her life was unremarkable to him- off of her face.

"Ah, actually, I don't have anywhere to be," he clarified, running his fingers through his hair. "I wanted to talk to you and I wasn't sure if that was allowed? Poe gave me the worst fucking guidelines on how this was supposed to work. I didn't think about how that would look at all. I just-"

He paused, sighing as he shut his eyes. Rey could almost hear him counting to five in his head before he opened his eyes again. In the light of the hallway, his eyes seemed lighter than they had before, but his gaze was just as intense as it settled on her. Almost as if he was trying to imprint her image in his memory. 

"I just wanted to know your name," he finished softly. 

"Rey," she answered his unasked question. "My name is Rey."

"Nice to meet you," Ben held out his hand and Rey snorted at the idea of shaking hands with someone whose taste she knew. 

She grabbed his hand anyway, leading it to her hip. "I think we're past polite introductions and shaking hands, Ben."

Rey leaned in slowly, keeping her eyes open to watch Ben, looking for any sign that he didn't want to kiss her again. He cupped her face with his other hand, his thumb tracing along her jaw and bottom lip before he closed the distance between them. 

Her name falling from his mouth as their lips met was Rey's new favorite sound. 

"Nice to meet you," Rey teased in between kisses. 

Ben chuckled while he kissed her nose and took a step back. Reaching for her hand, her intertwined their fingers. 

"Would you like to get some coffee with me?" He asked, kissing the side of her mouth. "Or lunch? Or ice cream? Or really whatever--"

"Yes," Rey interrupted him, squeezing his hand.  "I would love to get coffee with you."

She kissed the underside of his jaw. "Or lunch." Another kiss at the base of his throat. "Or ice cream." She was half laughing when she kissed the skin just under his ear. "Or really whatever you want.

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Ciule and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for sitting down with us for a chat.

SS/HG readers might be familiar with your stories “Awkward” and “Headmaster’s Wife”. 

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? Well, I sort of took one of my real names, swirled the letters around in the air with my imaginary wand, and I ended up with this. Can’t begin to imagine where I got the idea from... ;-) Later on, I realized that Ciule is actually a name in Romania. I had no idea, but there are people out there carrying this name for real. I guess I’m #sorrynotsorry?   Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? To be quite frank: No one, really. This is more about the characters I like, than truly identifying with them. I can relate to parts of some of them, but not the whole package. Primarily, I write about Hermione, Voldemort and Severus, and the one common thread between those three is the search for knowledge. That’s a trait I can identify with, but I’m neither an evil bastard, a grumpy protector nor a fretting, intelligent activist. I am, however, a swot. If you had asked who I’d want to be, the answer is clear. I want to be Albus Dumbledore. Though I can’t agree with the things he did, I feel absolutely certain that he’s the one who has the most fun during the books. I want to have that twinkling fun in face of absolute chaos.   Do you have a favourite genre to read (not in fic, just in general)? Fantasy! Definitely fantasy. While growing up, I read ‘everything’ in every genre, and in my twenties, I decided I’d spend my time reading what I loved the most. So, fantasy it is. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? You landed me in an existential crisis right there. I mean, there’s so many to choose from! ‘Wuthering Heights’, I think. It hurts so good. Or maybe ‘Rebecca’, at least, I loved that when I was younger. Or the fairly obscure ‘Lorna Doone.’ When I was a kid, I wanted to be a film director, shooting Lorna Doone into an epic film. Oh well, there might be a theme in this selection of books which reflects in my writing… At what age did you start writing? The creative process has gone on since forever. I’ve told myself thousands of stories in my head, but rarely written anything down. At the age of ten, I had a co-writing project with one of my friends. We created this secret room in her basement, and painstakingly wrote a ‘novel’. It was fun, though the writing ended as it became too cold down in the basement during winter. How did you get into writing fanfiction? In 2009, I became completely obsessed with a TV-show in the last episode. I was watching the entire series, casually enjoying the murder mystery, and in the last episode, the villain said: “I can do the math,” and I was literally gone. That obsession sparked writing my first fanfic stories. Those stories are still on FFnet, but they aren’t any good. *shrugs* What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? Compromise. The world isn’t a perfect place, and will never be. You can, however, make it more to your liking. It may not be perfect, but if you play the cards you are dealt, you might improve something. In Robert Jordan’s “the Wheel of Time”-series, one of the characters goes through a test in a parallel universe of sorts, and she thinks: “The world was not what she wanted, not anywhere near it.” I loved that: trying your best to make things as you want them to be in the face of dangers and difficulties.   And then there’s time travel! I love messing with time, and there are so many great Time-travelling fics. Plus, I have to say I have a certain love for the villains...   What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? Currently, I’m not writing for any other fandoms. I read Star Wars, GoT, POTO and LOTR, and in the past I read Smallville. Though it’s more of a type of ship for me, because I only read Reylo, SanSan, Erik/ Christine, Lex/Lana and ….drum roll… the extremely small and quite oddball ship of Eowyn/ Grìma Wormtongue. If you’ve never tried the last one, go search for the fantastic stories by auri_mynonys. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? One change: duh, that’s easy, isn’t it? Severus lives. Or, maybe Dumbledore acting more rational, not keeping so many secrets. Maybe telling McGonagall that Severus is on the Order’s side… (Interviewer is laughing - ”NOT so easy”) I do write Voldemort wins AUs, but I wouldn’t want canon Voldemort to win. I prefer him to be more sane than in canon. My absolute favourite piece of fanon has to be the Black library. I thought it was canon, but it’s not. This is a thing that really, really should exist in canon! Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? I’m very much inspired by music, and sometimes I listen as I write, but not always. Some fics are heavily inspired by music, such as ‘Absence’ and the last epilogue to ‘The Manipulation of Time and Matter’. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? Definitely ‘Two Steps from Hell,’ by the amazing Ssserpensssotia, but that’s a Volmione. This was such a wild ride, I felt like I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath the entire time. Those twists and turns were so unpredictable and … Well, I’m in awe. The SS/HG fandom is so massive, there’s a plethora of great stories out there. The unfinished ‘Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars’ is a wonderful story by scumblackentropy, and I love Slytherpoufs stories, especially the wip ‘Ghosts’, but also ‘Angels to Fly’. And then there’s the one that got away - it means, I can’t find it. In this story, Severus watches the thestrals, befriending one of them, I think, but they’re unpredictable and maybe even dangerous. He’s heartbroken, and knows how it all will go down, having bitterly accepted his role. It made me cry. And then there’s the works by Aurette, and lena1987, Subversa, Kittenshift… Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? I need (strike that: want) to draft the entire story before I post, to have some idea on how it goes. That makes it easier to write, but if it’s a long story, I’m happy as long as I know the general direction. This year, I finished a story that was on an unintended hiatus for two years, and I think part of my problem on getting back into writing it up was a too vague idea for the ending.   What is your writing genre of choice? Uh. I don’t know? Basically, you could argue that I’m a porn writer, or at least it’s fuelled by sexual tension and angst. So, romance or drama, bordering on erotica might be correct. To be frank, I haven’t really thought about categories after I started posting on AO3. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Hard to say. I might go with “the Manipulation of Time and Matter,” because I think it’s the best plot I’ve created. Besides, I managed to write Hermione having a relationship with both Severus and Voldemort in the same fic. My favourite “clean” SSHG would be the short story ‘Grimmauld’. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? In Grimmauld, the house became a character. That was unexpected, and not something I had planned from the beginning. So the lesson would be “don’t start posting until you know what’s going to happen.” Or else, this story might have turned out very much different. I had to throw in a little made-up lore on how you set blood wards on a house too to make it sentient. That proved to be a quite chilling piece of magic.   How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? I love old houses. Exploring abandoned houses, going inside to see what remains of furniture, tapestries and everything is so exciting. (It can also be dangerous, but that’s another matter). Such houses makes me feel .. nostalgic, plus I get those nice little shivers down your spine that is a little like a horror story. So, I wanted to use Grimmauld as a setting to explore that in a fic, to really dig into the aching loneliness of a lost house. The story came very quickly to me, so I guess that helped me.   What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? Big question there. Hmm, I think … it’s hard to say. I’m a reader, really, and I couldn’t easily pick apart any influences. Though I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed when reading ‘Two Steps From Hell’ was the attention to magic. I think it’s important to include spells, rituals and the use of magic in my fics, because that’s what sets it apart from a Muggle AU, for example. That’s an important part of the world-building.   Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? My significant other knows. I didn’t tell him, but he found out for himself, probably by spying on me. When he told me, I almost couldn’t stop laughing, because he… erm, he said he had thought about reenacting a scene in my PWP ‘Twenty Points to Gryffindor’, where Severus shouts the title as he… well… you get the gist. If he had done that, I’d have had a heart attack. I would literally be dead. Instead, I laughed non stop for an hour.   How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Haha, so true. You spend all those hours in front of your laptop - and if I wasn't motivated by doing it for myself, I can’t even see how I’d force myself through all those hours. It’s fun, though. I do this because I love it.   How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Very important. I'm on the publishing sites (visible interaction is why I prefer AO3 instead of FFnet) and on Facebook, mainly. I love feedback (as all authors do), and when people form theories or make comments, I get an insight into my own writing. I know how it’s going to pan out, but the audience doesn’t, and how they perceive things might be different from how I think it is. At times, it influences how I go forward, mostly because I need to add things, to explain what’s going on. What is the best advice you've received about writing? Don’t post until you know the ending, and remember: the devil on your left shoulder will be at war with the angel on the right side. Listen to the angel telling you to wait a little longer, and not to the devil chanting: ‘Post, post, post!’ In the end, of course, you’ll give in to the devil, regretting it until you’re done. What do you do when you hit writer's block? Read. Read a lot. And read some more. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Certainly. I’m a foodie. For example, everything that Voldemort eats is stuff I love. His food habits are primarily mine, and I love cooking.   Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? It’s a short piece, maybe three or four chapters, with the title ‘Transference’. The point of departure from canon is during their time in the tent at DH. Hermione wakes up in a bed, in a room she doesn’t recognize, having no idea where she is, but she spots a large, moving picture on the drawer:  Feeling panic rising, she stared hard at the moving and smiling pictures, and her heart leapt into her throat, pulse hammering as she recognized herself in the largest picture. A slightly older Hermione, in a white wedding dress, kissing and laughing at someone who simply had to be a much younger Severus Snape. It had to be him: Long black hair, hooked nose, sallow skin - but then he looked so young, carefree and happy - expressions she had never seen on her dour Professor's face. Beside the picture, there were numerous cards, greetings and well-wishings for their wedding - the date an impossible 21 August 1982, and amongst the cards, the largest one stood out, the black ink showing an elegant handwriting: “Dear Hermione and Severus! Best wishes for your wedding, Lord Voldemort.” Any words of encouragement to other writers? Read and write, in that order. Don’t worry about trolls, because when you contribute something that you created, it makes you so much more than people spending their time just raining on anyone’s parade. You brought something new to the world, they’re just reacting to things. If someone accuses you of a self-insert, go ahead and lecture them on the intentional fallacy. I promise, you won’t regret looking it up. ;-)   And please, mind the normal physical limits when you’re writing smut. Unless you give the male a stamina potion or put him under the Imperius, it’s unlikely that his refractory period allows him to come five times in one hour. Realistic smut is so much more sexy, lol. Thanks again for speaking with us Ciule.

[reylo-love-theme]

Specific personal reasons why Ben dying really hurt

Disclaimer: i know people have had many dif reactions to this movie and for those of you that liked it good for you. this is my personal opinion on my own blog so please don't attack or debate me in the comments just go make your own post please if you feel that. I respect you all and I'm just trying to cope.

This post is for people who are in a similar situation as me and want a place to relate or their thoughts turned into words.

1. I'm a childhood abuse victim myself and 2019 was a terrible year full of my trying to deal with my past and my cptsd and my toxic shame. I barely made it.

Ben Solo was a reminder that it's not too late to save yourself and that people you love do care for you. I literally leaned solely on reylo fanfiction during my darkest times for this aspect of hurt/comfort and redemption and recovery.

2. I had never went to watch a movie of my own free will (see number 1). Doing this was terrifying since I had to overcome so many triggers. I chose to watch TROS so that it would end my year on a happy note with a postive message of hope, love and recovery.

3. The only reason that I shipped Reylo was because I had investigated very throughly and had become certain they would get a happy ending.

I have a tendency of relying on fictional characters for the support I do not have in real life so I needed to choose who I love very carefully or else when I loose them I'm actually in terrible pain.

The worst thing was that I wasn't prepared for it. (Preparing and being nihilist had given me depression and I literally pulled myself out of that thought process for this hope of Ben living. It seemed so close to happening and I got stabbed in the stomach and left in a puddle of blood)

Now, I'm struggling really hard not to blame myself for falling for false hope again (I had made that mistake once and swore off hope for like 11 years) (even though I know that being so cynical is terrible for my health)

4.I stepped on Reylo in 2018/2019 fully and spent a whole year looking forward to this movie. It brought me so much joy and I tamped out my inner cynic that said "putting your hope in something you love will only let you down".

I told myself that even with all that has happened in 2019, making it to December and watching the movie would be symbolic for me (a way of saying "look world, I made it.")

5. The message the movie sends me is just.... I really can't. I don't understand why it couldn't be a happy ending for Ben who literally redeemed himself. For me personally, I don't consider a kiss and a smile and then death a happy ending. What does that mean for me? A person who related so heavily to this broken struggling character. Does it mean that all my pain was worth nothing in the end? That those who I love will never love me back or remember me or even care that I was abused and my trauma made me a literal walking self-defence mechanism? That the only ending the general population accepts as morally correct is for "bad" abuse victims to die?

And the message of Ben dying for someone he loves (while not a bad trope) is toxic because of the way it is shown. Even with the emoting on Rey's behalf, it's not enough to justify someone dying for that. (There just isn't enough romance or support from Rey (unlike TLJ)) It seemed like an unbalenced love (because of the way Rey just kept on rejecting him and hurting him without really trying to help (until the end where literally he sacrificed himself, would someone who loved you do that?)

And the additional message that Ben's family would help a random stranger but not the person that literally needed them and still loved them after all the abandoment he went through. My family literally turned a blind eye (or just blamed me as a weakling for reacting to it) to my abuse and that is what happens to Ben. Even at his death, not one single member of his family (Han was just a memory) was there to mourn him or even help him (Leia's disappearance thing I'm so confused on what the heck happened, why the heck did Maz smile if Ben just literally died and his mom died trying to save him.)

And no one bothered to be on his side, he literally had to redeem himself the whole way. That isn't a good message to people who need help. It's literally saying that you are the only one who can save yourself (not a bad message by itself but the strength of the message comes from the fact that others can stand by you as you save yourself not BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL OR WILL HELP YOU)

Anakin sidelineing him for Rey was just salt in the wound.

As someone who's pain was literally ignored and laughed at by the whole family, this was immensely rage inducing.

And what about rey and her character development? I also had related to her for being abandoned by her parents and left to fend for herself. She was a nobody who was strong on her own. She didn't need to be related to a strong lineage. Additonally, ending up all alone on the same kind of desert she started at is not a good message. ( I get the nostalgia thing but they could have literally used any other character, Rey wasn't a good choice for that scene) First off, she wanted to get off jakku. She wanted a family. Ben told her she wasn't alone. Next, she needed to realize that being a nobody didn't mean she was worthless ( a strong and powerful message to ordinary girls) (not find out oops i was from a loving family all along!!!) That isn't good plot when she literally spend two movies recovering from her parents abandonment (it makes it seem like ohhh they loved you and this was the only best

thing they could do!! XOXO (this is a common victim blaming trick abuse apologizers use to silence victims pain)) it would have made sense if she found this out earlier but to do this to an already developed character arc is just sucky. Her turning dark influenced by palp is not as good a message as her turning dark influenced by her past and her overcoming it anyway. For star wars, a theme has always been hope, love and redemption and I feel like the theme was picked up but not carried through in one character, instead spread throughout everyone but leaving a sense of unsatisfactory ending since no one really ended their arc. (In my opinion, you can have a different one)

6. Ben dying. That is just cruel and sadistic..there were already so many "surprise they are alive illogically!" Moments that JJ could literally have pulled one for Ben a final time and no one would have batted an eye. It would have suited the style of the movie. It was such a bad shock for me. The movie already baited my heart several times with Ben nearly dying and I cheered internally when he came back. I held out my hope till the very end of the credits and this movie just made of fool of me. I was ready to gloss over any and all flaws and buy merch if only Ben had been loved and lived.

7. The way it affected me. (Warning this might be upsetting to read so skip if you don't want to hear about mental health right now)

I was in so much shock as I stumbled out of the theater that I literallt thought I was going to be okay. I couldn't feel anything and I felt sick and empty. (That's not a reaction a star wars movie should give or any "hopeful" movie)(this is coming from someone who has watched the sacrifical death trope many times and cried (it was a good hurt))

This wasn't because there was literally no resolution or purpose to the death. It seemed like a cliche trope failure of redemption=death. But with the added on "no mourning, superfical loss". (It would have been more acceptably had it been a side character, bad writing can excuse it, but for a main half of the protagonist this is just sick)

I wandered home mechanically on Friday and then as soon as I thought back to the scene where Ben smiled and died I broke down crying. And I lost all my appetite and felt nauseous for an entire two days. I barely ate two meals during that time because I was so distraught and my mental health crashed completely back into my worse cptsd symptoms and nightmares and insomnia and waking up to panic attacks. I wasn't functioning, I kept trying to pull myself together but my only postive coping mechanism(reading reylo fanfiction) was gone. In fact I felt betrayed that my coping mechanism would actually be the cause of my pain.

I completely felt like those two days were actually traumatizing and as someone who has actually experienced traumatic events I'm using the word in a serious way. Anything can hurt you badly enough if you put enough of your heart and vulnerability into it.

Now it's Monday I'm just trying to recover enough to go outside again but I feel really tired. I'm trying to salvage my christmas and my life as a big middle finger to whoever decided that abuse and mental health could be used as convenient plot points and just discarded and laughed at.

[kylo-but-not-to-me-ren]

Thoughts on The Rise of Skywalker

Just a disclaimer that this post contains TROS spoilers 

Hi there, it’s me again sharing my views on the latest Star Wars as a Reylo, fan and former film student (the latter may show at some point but it’s mostly a fan view). 

I had pretty high expectations for this movie and I was not not happy leaving the screening, but I had some things that I thought would go down differently so here’s what I think. 

Rey

I really like how organic Rey and Kylo’s connection and intimacy is portrayed in The Last Jedi, and J.J. expanded a bit on that which I think it’s very nice (and apparently they can teleport things via ForceSkype now which is an interesting take but I understand the reasoning). 

One thing that I didn’t really like is that Rey is a Palpatine. I’ve seen one theory on this and it makes sense now, yet I was a great supporter of the theory that Rey was really a nobody, that she came from nothing like Kylo said. She could’ve been just like Anakin who didn’t have either Jedi nor Sith ancestors. 

On a more positive note, Rey’s conflict with herself is an ongoing theme in this trilogy and I believe it was really well developed and has come to a satisfying conclusion. I felt like she was a bit lost in the beginning and I thought it was going to be an issue later on but thankfully it got better before it was too late. 

Also Rey is so goddamn powerful and strong with the Force I love her so much.

When Rey and Kylo are battling in the old Death Star and she stabs him with his own lightsaber but then she feels Leia’s gone and immediately realises what she has done and without second thought she kneels to heal Ben crying. My heart exploded I felt so many things at once I can’t explain. 

“I wanted to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” hsdcsgfyufgyufgeryfcgeif i died. 

The ForceSkype teleporting feature I ALMOST FAINTED BECAUSE I GENUINELY THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO KILL BEN INSTEAD OF PAPLS WHEN THEY EXCHANGED LOOKS I WAS SO RELIEVED AND HAPPY WHEN SHE GAVE HIM ANI’S BLUE LIGHTSABER. 

DARK REY WITH HER DOUBLE RED LIGHTSABER. 

THAT YELLOW LIGHTSABER. I WANT IT. NOW. 

Also maybe that “I am all the Jedi” line is a nudge to Avengers: Endgame? (*cof* hi Disney *cof*) 

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo 

Next up is ma boi Kylo Ben, who has been my favourite character this whole trilogy and hell Adam Driver portrayed him so wonderfully. In TLJ he grew so much as a character, not only as a villain but a person who went through a lot, has an abusive master and is constantly being haunted by the guilt of killing his father. 

To start this off, I want to talk about those first scenes. OH MY GOD KYLO TAKING ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN THE FOREST IN SLOW MOTION AND HIS SOLO JOURNEY TO EXEGOL. After that I got mad at Palps when one of his first lines was “I have been every voice you have ever heard inside your head” because it means Ben has been manipulated his whole life and didn’t really have a choice other than turn to the dark side. 

Kylo’s arc is by far my favourite and in my (completely biased) opinion the best written one. When he’s introduced in TFA, he’s a promise of a new Vader but he’s not quite there yet. Kylo has conflict inside him, a spark of light still, and to put out that spark once and for all he’s instructed by his master to kill Han Solo, but as we’ve seen it has “split his spirit to the bone”, to quote Snoke. 

Later on in TLJ when the ForceSkype starts we begin to see more of Kylo’s vulnerable side, specially when Rey is talking to him in the hut. Kylo takes his fcking glove off to take Rey’s hand and that’s when Reylo became canon and you can’t change my mind. 

Fast forward to TROS, Kylo is already the Supreme Leader and he’s as strong as Rey (but most likely more skilled because he had extensive training while Rey had only a few lessons and read some books?) and they are Force Dyads which makes them absurdly powerful together. 

One thing I noticed is that every time Rey and Kylo claim to have seen the future both of them are always on the same side, either Dark or Light, but always together. They’ve never mentioned a future where they are apart and/or on different sides. *all the Reylo feels*

Then when both are battling in the old Death Star and Rey stabs him but heals him shortly after and Ben is ready to let Kylo Ren die to become Ben Solo again is brilliant. And that dialog with Han made me shed a tear or two. (a random side note is that I got a tiny bit upset when he threw his lightsaber away because his lightsaber is so cool and I just got one myself but I absolutely understand the need to get rid of it). 

I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN MY BABY BEN SOLO BURST INTO PALPATINE’S CHAMBERS (?) WITH ONLY A BLASTER AND LOOKED SO GOOD. Also I almost cried when he took the blue saber and beat the shit out of the Knights of Ren. 

LITERALLY THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. 

BEN HUGGING REY’S BODY RIGHT BEFORE RESURRECTING HER. 

“Ben”

THE KISS. THAT SMILE.

BEN SOLO DESERVED BETTER. 

And yes, I believe Ben Solo isn��t truly dead and Rey can help him come back and they can live happily like they deserve to be. 

Thank you Adam Driver for being the highlight of this movie (and dare I say, trilogy) and bless us with amazing acting. 

Poe Dameron 

I love Poe, he’s great and I loved that they gave him more screen time and I get they were trying to build another trio like in the OT but maybe making Poe, who was already a great pilot like Han also be a former (spice) smuggler is a bit much? We could use new characters and it’s okay if you wanna recycle the idea but please don’t make them identical. 

Another very important point is why do you need to make up a female love interest for Poe when there’s clearly one already? During the whole movie I felt a sexual tension between Finn and Poe just not to have them together in the end, I was very disappointed. MAKE STORMPILOT CANON YOU COWARDS. 

Finn 

To be honest, Finn is not one of my favourite characters and I believe it’s mostly due to poor writing. Finn is a great character and had so much potential being a deserter of the First Order but his arc wasn’t so well developed in the trilogy as a whole and one of the arcs I least enjoyed in TLJ was Finn and Rose’s adventure in Canto Bight. It all felt like a distraction even though they were doing something seemingly important but failed at the end. 

In TROS, Finn finds a group of other Stormtrooper deserters and I thought maybe it’d push his storyline forward but not so much. I was a bit disappointed but there were also lots of other things happening that I didn’t pay much attention to Finn, one of the reasons being that I already didn’t care much about him before so now it was kind of meh. 

I said it before and I’ll say it again, MAKE STORMPILOT CANON. 

A positive thing on Finn is that now they explored how Finn is Force-sensitive and now he finally realised he doesn’t need to run away and is willing to fight. 

Rose Tico

As I’ve mentioned before, her arc with Finn wasn’t my favourite in TLJ but that’s okay because you can’t make everyone happy all the time, yet I saw many people complaining about her character and even Kelly was attacked that she left social media. And now there were so many complaints that they decided to basically ignore Rose and she’s in like three scenes. 

I don’t think they even gave a plausible explanation why Rose couldn’t come along with Finn, Poe and Rey other than the fans didn’t like her character and they were trying to recreate the original trio. 

General Hux

Well, to be honest I was almost certain he would die at some point but killing him off like that? He deserved a bit of dignity. But his scenes were funny, which I’m not sure if it’s good or bad because he’s a First Order general so... he’s supposed to be more serious, I guess? 

As weird as it is, I kinda get his motives for being the spy, to see Kylo Ren fall so he could ascend to the Supreme Leader position, but things didn’t work out but at least we got a bit of that Kylux tension, right? *sigh* 

Knights of Ren 

One of my great disappointments of this movie.

They didn’t say a word, were only referred as murderers (not sure about the word exactly but it was something like that), had a couple of fight scenes and died. I wish they made an appearance in TLJ but they were only mentioned in Rey’s vision and Snoke mentioned them once but that was it.

They had some really impressive costumes and weapons, though. 

Overall a great movie, lots of nostalgia, would recommend.

So there it is, my thoughts on The Rise of Skywalker after watching it for the first time. Please feel free to share your thoughts as well and let’s talk :)

[dyadsaber]

A New Reylo Shipper Reads the TFA Novelization Part 4: In Which I Refuse to Believe that the Han and Leia I’ve Known Since I was Eight are That Awful at Parenting or Relationships, and I Have Feelings About a Scene With Rey in a Chair

Full disclosure: I am an old fan.  I saw Star Wars for the first time in 1989 because my mom took me to see Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in theaters, I thought Indy was the Best Thing Ever, and mom decided I was old enough for Star Wars, too. I was 8.  I saw Phantom Menace in theaters the month before I graduated from high school. So I’ve had ideas about what Han and Leia are like as people for the vast majority of my life. 

I have spent a lot of time and mental energy trying to wrap my brain around the way that Han and Leia and Luke act and make choices in the sequel trilogy so that I can enjoy the things that I actually LIKE about the sequels. (And I like a lot, or I wouldn’t have a Reylo blog or be writing about this novelization.) Some of it, I can come up with explanations for.  They are sad explanations, but I can get my brain to buy them instead of screaming THIS PERSON WOULD NOT DO THAT. But the way that this novelization was going to have Han and Leia talk about Ben’s fall to the Dark Side in the scene where they meet up again is NOT ONE OF THEM. 

OH YE GODS THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY. (I’m going to swear a lot below…) 

When Han and Leia see each other again, we find out how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other… 

Husband and wife stood regarding each other for the first time in years.

YEARS? Really? My first question when I read this was, how many years? Apparently, various supplemental timelines reveal it has supposedly only been seven years since Ben turned to the Dark Side and Luke’s temple was destroyed, which means Ben was, what, twenty three when shit went down? I have issues with this as well. All of the other clues we’re given point to him being younger. This is a glaring example of “no one cared about these characters as much as the fans did and so people weren’t careful with the timeline.” 

Getting back to the issue of Han and Leia not seeing each other for… an unspecified at this point number of years, I get that what happened was traumatic. I get that it probably took a toll on their relationship, but having Han just say “screw it” and fuck off with Chewie, and Leia just… keep on keeping on has always smacked of lazy writing to me. It feels like Abrams didn’t want to have to DEAL with the messy questions about how Han and Leia would be with each other if they had STAYED TOGETHER and dealt, sometimes well, sometimes poorly, with the loss of their son.  So he was just like, “NOPE THEY SPLIT UP ISN’T IT SAD?” And it IS SAD, but the Han who CAME BACK even when there was no reward in it for him, whose last words before being FROZEN IN CARBONITE were “I LOVE YOU,” and the Leia who WALKED INTO JABBA’S PALACE TO GET HIM BACK would not be like this.  I can see them trying to work through their grief together, and then Han just needing to get away for a while, or them agreeing to focus their efforts on finding their son and turn him back in the areas where they each most likely to have an effect, BUT NO. They just… split, and we don’t even get a lot of backstory about exactly how that went so we can understand the emotional arc for these characters. DUMB. I CALL BULLSHIT. 

And speaking of HORSESHIT CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS…. Here’s some extra stuff Han says that wasn’t on screen. 

“He’s gone, Leia. He was always drawn to the dark side. There was nothing we could’ve done to stop it, no matter how hard we tried.”

This is longer than what he says on screen. His line here in the film is “We lost our son. Forever.” And the longer version pisses me off SO MUCH. How would HAN know he was always drawn to the Dark Side, unless Luke and Leia were TELLING HIM that’s what was happening? (Possible, but this doesn’t read like Han reminding Leia of things she told him already, and I don’t like what that theory says about Luke and Leia making Han afraid of his own kid.) 

I know on-screen Han says something about “even Luke couldn’t help him,” the stuff about THERE IS NOTHING WE COULD HAVE DONE just makes me FURIOUS. Is this supposed to be COMFORTING to Leia? Like, “Well, we did our best and it’s not our fault he turned because that was always gonna happen”?  WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. Han is not that much of a fatalist.  He tries to tell himself that Ben is gone for good NOW, which is understandable, but “there’s NOTHING WE COULD HAVE DONE IT WAS ALWAYS HOPELESS?” No. Get out of my house if you’re talking that level of shit about Han. 

And then there’s THIS CRAP ABOUT LEIA, AND I’M GONNA BLOW A GASKET LOOKING AT ALL OF THIS AGAIN. 

So, when Leia says “it was Snoke” in the film, Han doesn’t react much, and to me, that scene on screen reads like Leia is reminding Han of something they both already know, but in the novel, she apparently… just… never mentioned Snoke to Han, and she KNEW ABOUT HIM ALL ALONG? 

“Snoke?” She nodded. “He knew our child would be strong with the Force. That he was born with equal potential for good or evil.” “You knew this from the beginning? Why didn’t you tell me?” She sighed. “Many reasons. I was hoping that I was wrong, that it wasn’t true. I hoped I could sway him, turn him away from the dark side, without having to involve you.” A small smile appeared. “You had—you have—wonderful qualities, Han, but patience and understanding were never among them. I was afraid that your reactions would only drive him farther to the dark side. I thought I could shield him from Snoke’s influence and you from what was happening.” Her voice dropped. “It’s clear now that I was wrong. Whether your involvement would have made a difference, we’ll never know.”

So you are telling me that LEIA FUCKING ORGANA had a CHILD with a man (and married him? Are the new canon ones even married? Does it even matter? IT DOES TO ME.) and then hid a REALLY IMPORTANT FACT ABOUT THEIR SON from that man because she thought… Han was too impatient? And she thought he wouldn’t be able to handle it and would make it worse? And so she just… hid it from both of them and tried to deal with it on her own? The more I think about this, the angrier it makes me.  

One of the things I love about Star Wars is how much we get to see characters leaning on each other, both physically and metaphorically, and being part of a team that supports each other.  It’s one of the reasons I hate the way that the sequels separate people and have characters that have spent their whole arcs looking for connection ending up on screen alone at the end. (I know Rey’s not staying on Tattooine, but the fact that the last time we see her, she’s by herself was a choice that makes me mad.) ANYWAY… The idea of Leia deciding she has to struggle with this BY HERSELF (and maybe with Luke? Who even knows?) and ON PURPOSE cutting Han out of the loop entirely is just… stunningly out of character. It’s another one of those writing decisions that makes for good angst and terrible characterization if you know ANYTHING about Leia, in my opinion. 

And I refuse to believe that this next line is anything other than a need for this information to be gotten across to the audience in an extra clear way.  This is Han’s response to all of the above, I think. 

He had trouble believing what he was hearing. “So Snoke was watching our son.”

So this confirms it. THIS is DEFINITELY the first time Leia even MENTIONS Snoke manipulating their kid to Han. The implication here is that after Ben turned, Leia let Han roam around the galaxy for seven years,  BY HIMSELF, NOT KNOWING THAT THEIR KID HAD BEEN FUCKED WITH BY AN EVIL DESSICATED PICKLE? SHE LET HIM KEEP THINKING THAT BEN’S TURN WAS JUST BECAUSE THERE WAS SOMETHING INNATELY WRONG WITH BEN AND NOTHING MORE? DUMB. Canon not accepted.

I need to go watch this scene in TFA, with all of its flaws, to cleanse my brain of this stupidity. 

Oh… one last thing that is not nearly so rage inducing, but gets to one of the things that annoys me about the prequels. (This is a little later when Han is leaving.) 

He put his hands on her shoulders, and thirty years fell away in an instant. “Leia, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say to you for a long time.” Fighting to hold back tears, she put a finger to his lips. “Tell me when you get back.”

On the one hand this is kind of sweet, but on the other LET HAN SAY I LOVE YOU, ABRAMS YOU TEASE.  Let Leia say “I know.”  You LOVE cheap callbacks to the original trilogy, and this wouldn’t have even been a cheap callback because it would have made sense for the moment and the characters. I would have bought it. I would have paid a high price for it.  I’m tired of characters not telling each other things (FINN IN THE LAST MOVIE OMG).  I know it’s a way to up the tension, but it just reads as lazy writing here to me, especially now that I know that this is the last time we get to see them speak to each other, and there’s really no REASON she shouldn’t let him say it. 

And now… some feelings about Rey in a chair. 

First, let’s get this out of the way… What Kylo Ren does here is NOT GOOD. Like, “this made me remember all the reasons I was so resistant to shipping them” levels of not good. But then I remembered that I’ve been fangirling over REALLY TERRIBLE PEOPLE since Jason Isaacs stepped on screen in The Patriot in theaters (Go look it up. I’m really old, ok?), and I ship pairings that hurt each other WAY more permanently than Rey and Ben do, and I got over my misgivings.  (Half of one of my OTPs canonically killed the other half in a fit of anger, and she STAYED DEAD. I still ship them because this was a stupid writing decision.)

What I think is so eerily fascinating about this whole scene, both on the page and on screen, is how… weirdly direct and honest Kylo is the whole time. And it’s not just honesty (but I’m going to scream about that a lot), it’s… how careful (for him) he is with her. 

So I knew this was going to be a ride of a scene when the very first time he talks from Rey’s PoV, we get… 

“In Kylo Ren’s voice there was unexpected gentleness.”

Was it also understanding and tall? (That will never stop being funny to me… sorry.) 

And THEN, when she asks about her friends, he’s like (paraphrasing here) “Well I COULD tell you they all died…” 

“But I would prefer to be honest with you from the beginning. You will be relieved to hear that as far as their current status and well-being is concerned—I have no idea.”

This matters a lot to me.  And it solidified my belief that he THOUGHT he was telling her the truth about her parents in TLJ when he said they were “nothing” and that they abandoned her.  He MUST have been acting on an incorrect assumption that he arrogantly assumed was true because, that this is the important bit, he never knowingly lies to her...  I really wish that honesty line had made it into the film. 

And the fact that he thinks RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING that this is going to be the beginning of an ongoing relationship where he would even CARE about establishing trust… just makes me laugh at the presumption on his part, but also makes me want to be like, “Ok, so you’re kind of right but also hilariously wrong because this is NOT GOING TO GO HOW YOU THINK.” Mostly I just enjoy simmering in the dramatic irony of it all. 

And then he takes his mask off because Rey called him a creature in a mask, and that probably hurt his feelings or something.

 “In itself the narrow face that looked back at her was not remarkable. It was almost sensitive.”

And this is where I became even more convinced that… maybe casting hadn’t happened for all the parts yet?  But ADF had descriptions of types they were looking for? Because if there’s one thing that Adam’s face is pretty much ALL THE TIME, it’s sensitive (and holy crud expressive).  No almost. 

Also, if Adam had been cast, this bit: 

“If not for the intensity of his gaze, Ren could have passed for someone she might have met on the dust streets of Niima Outpost.” 

Would have read more like: “If not for the intensity of his gaze, his ridiculously good looking hair that probably took a whole team of stylist droids to maintain, and the fact that he was tall as a tauntaun, he might have passed for someone on the street.” But I digress. 

So this next line of his is from a really awful moment that should not have made me smile.  But… he’s not even angry, here. He’s just exasperated, and that fight on the Death Star they have in TRoS made this extra amusing. (Not that anyone who’s read this far is going to be on my case about this, but I know how problematic that line is! I know how problematic this whole scene is! Not an uncritical consumer of media here, just having fun reading with a shippy lens!) 

When she maintained her silence, he almost sighed. “I can take whatever I want.”

The old " Well, I guess we're doing this the hard way" sigh. I can SEE IT. 

And then, one of those unique to the novel lines that I somehow didn’t know about before reading the book that just STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS when I got to it. 

“I would have preferred to avoid this. Despite what you may believe, it gives me no pleasure. I will go as easily as possible—but I will take what I need.”

HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS. I mean on the one hand, have a “not as much of a jerk as you could have been” gold star, but on the other hand, for KYLO “I HAVE A TEMPER AND GET WHAT I WANT REN” to have the intention to tread carefully with her and to CARE enough about what she thinks about him that he SAYS IT? WOW.

Thank you for coming to my talk, “Kylo Ren ALWAYS Cares What Rey Thinks of Him: A Thesis Presentation by Me” 

So he tries to get into her brain again, and we get this: (I can’t tell whose PoV this supposed to be from. It’s Rey all around this point, but it doesn’t make sense that it would be her here, and ADF can’t hold a consistent point of view in this novel to save his life, so… it makes more sense to me that it’s Kylo’s PoV.)

“And hesitated. What was that? Something there. Something unexpected.”

Loneliness would not be unexpected. He wouldn’t be surprised by that. It makes sense that the original intent was this is Kylo sensing her ability to use the Force, but if there was ANY pre-planning of the bond at all, this would have been a moment where he’d be able to sense it.  (I now want to be directed to any and all articles of behind the scenes discussion of the bond and who first decided it was going to be A Thing.  Was that just Rian Johnson?) No matter what happened from a Doylist perspective here, what happened from the Watsonian perspective is that Kylo went fishing in his other half’s mind and stepped right into their one-in-a-million connection in the Force and was like, “WHAT IS THIS???”

So we’re going to skip over the part of Rey crying because that does terrible things to my soul that I don’t have words for. (I may ship Reylo now, but I loved Rey on her own from the second she stepped on screen in theaters.) 

This moment, though… this is so telling. 

“Rey—you’ve seen the map. It’s in there. And I am going to take it. Don’t be afraid.”

Geez this is so him. Frustratingly so. I see why they cut it for the flow of the scene and to make him scarier but WOW. “I’m going to do what I want, but YOU DON’T NEED TO BE AFRAID. Here let me comb through all of your insecurities and worst memories AGAINST YOUR WILL while you’re strapped to a table, ok? WHY ARE YOU SCARED?” 

Honestly, the fact that he even thinks for a second that “don’t be afraid” is going to be AT ALL HELPFUL OR EFFECTIVE in this situation just goes to show how… weirdly out touch with normal people he is. (“Ben Solo Learns How to Be a Person and Not Something Out of Nightmare” is a fic trope I will read and write forever.) 

Then there’s that “SOMETHING” again…

‘Ah, he thought to himself. Something there, of interest. Not the image of the map. That would take another moment. But definitely something worth investigating.”

WHAT IS THIS? It would be easy to say, “He’s just sensing her Force capabilities, or the bond,” again, but we’ve already seen him have that reaction.  This reads like he’s specifically sensing another MEMORY, but we don’t ever get what it WAS before she pushes back. (Probably reading too much into this, but OF COURSE I AM. I’ve written seventeen pages of reaction to this nonsense so far, and I show no signs of stopping.) Anyone want to put forward wildly speculative theories as to what it was? I’ll start: He’s very specifically sensing her memory of Ben falling to the Dark from TRoKR, and it’s drawing his attention because it’s a memory of HIM. 

And now for Round 1 of “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better.”  Rey pushes back and finds herself in Kylo’s mind. 

A look of amazement replaced the fear on Rey’s face as she discovered herself inside his mind. Stunned at the realization, she found herself inexorably drawn to—to… “You,” she heard herself saying clearly, “you’re afraid.”

DRAWN TO WHAT, ADF? To his vulnerabilities? To the place in his mind that correlates to the place in hers that he went poking at? I mean, that makes sense, an it would be instance #1 of Rey replicating what Kylo did because… he’s the example of Force use she’s GOT at this point, and it makes sense that she would be unconsciously doing what he did.  (So really… he accidentally taught her a lot… just saying.) 

And finally,  just kind of love this description of caught-flat-footed Kylo Ren: 

“In the corridor, a stunned Ren found that he was breathing hard. That in itself was unsettling. He did not know what had just transpired in the holding cell and, not knowing, was left uncertain how to proceed.” 

She… raised my breathing rate? I’m???? Having??? A??? Feeling????? Or wait have I been having a feeling this WHOLE TIME AND SHE JUST POKED IT???? WHAT IS GOING ON??? What do I DOOOOOO????? Oh good a stormtrooper needs to talk to me. Time to NOT THINK ABOUT ANY OF WHAT JUST HAPPENED FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.  

Rey clearly had the one brain cell the dyad shares between them for this scene, and for a long time after. 

That was WAY longer than I meant it to be, but… thanks for reading! I’d love to know what people think.  I feel like I walked into a party late and want to talk about ALL THE THINGS people were screaming at five years ago. 

[superkitty21]

So, The Rise of Skywalker was a thing

I laughed, I cried, I sighed in disappointment, but somehow, despite everything, I liked it. (Major fucking spoilers for the whole movie btw)

Okay, I don't know where to start so I'm gonna talk about the Palpatine thing. This film feels like the writers went in and tried to "fix" alleged plot holes in the previous films. As someone who loved TLJ, Rey being no one special was something I found engaging about that film. The Star Wars franchise is really obsessed with legacy and blood and heritage (especially that of your male line) and Rey being nobody was a refreshing break from having to justify your character as a protagonist by proving them to be the special. I'm really annoyed that Rey couldn't just be Rey she HAD to be someone special, the granddaughter of someone IMPORTANT to 'explain' her talent and skill with the force and to justify her role as protagonist of this franchise.

On top of this, revealing Palpatine to be the master manipulator of this whole conflict felt so cheap to me. TLJ completely shifted the status quo and took the Star Wars franchise to places we haven't seen before. So returning to the plot line of "we must defeat the evil Sith" betrays the ending of TLJ. I was excited to see where this franchise was going next after the explosive ending of TLJ and finding out that we were just going to rehash plot beats from 40 years ago was more than a little disappointing.

The sequel trilogy has been a balancing act between pulling on our nostalgia strings and telling a new story and The Rise of Skywalker, in returning to Palpatine as the villain and making Rey his granddaughter, tipped the scales of this trilogy to boring rehash and it all feels like such wasted potential.

The romantic subplots in this one were... messy (to say the least). It felt very clear to me that the writers didn't know where they were going with Finn's romantic arc at all throughout this series. I'd like to start by saying RIP to Finn/Rose shippers because the writers utterly dismissed Finn and Rose's ENTIRE relationship. It's not even acknowledged that these two even know each other outside of the context of co-workers. The complete sidelining of Rose in this story is almost shameful. I can only assume this was done in response to the massive harassment campaigns targeted at Kelly Marie Tran post-TLJ. Not only was caving to the racist trolls and removing Rose from the story disrespectful to Rose's character, but it also made Finn's romantic arc so incohesive. They brought back the Finnrey dynamic from The Force Awakens, but then never developed on Finn and Rey's relationship in any meaningful way. It seemed as if they were going to make the stormtrooper defector, Jannah, a love interest but then never really went there either (thank god). It was messy and unfocused and I had no idea where they were going with any of it, and it turns out they didn't either.

They also decided to give Poe a love interest. out of nowhere. in the last film of this trilogy. Pour one out for Stormpilot shippers because that ship sank harder than the titanic. In trying to fully assert Poe Dameron's heterosexuality they felt the need to add a completely irrelevant and frankly out of place romantic subplot for Poe. Did doing this add to the story in any way? No. Did it add anything to Poe's characterization? No. So I have to assume its there to make sure everyone in the audience knows that Finn and Poe could never, in any way, shape, or form, under any context, ever, EVER be in a romantic relationship despite their obvious chemistry. Legit, the scenes with Poe and Zorii in Kijimi felt like an ad for a Poe Dameron tie-in prequel novel.

Kylo's redemption arc isn't the best I've seen. I'm generally not one for redemption arcs being motivated by external factors (ie your mother dying) rather than an internal realization and growth. There is an argument to be made that Kylo has been explicitly shown in struggling with the light the whole trilogy, but I still would have liked more lead up to his eventual switch and for the choice to be more his own rather than compelled by his mother's death and his girlfriend giving him puppy dog eyes.

Absolution through sacrifice is also a big pet peeve of mine, but somehow it worked for me in this one. It's probably because Ren's redemption is really isolated to his relationship to his family and Rey. Given that his most egregious actions were to his immediate family I wouldn't could it as a flaw in the film and it certainly made it easier to buy in to arc. And I never got the feeling that TROS never fully absolved Kylo of his crimes against the galaxy. Similarly to how despite his final sacrifice, Darth Vader is still seen as evil by the wider galaxy, I get the sense that Kylo Ren despite his heel turn will be in a similar position. I won't begrudge anyone who thinks his shift to the light feels to sudden, or that his motivations felt a bit weak, or those who generally just can't buy it, but it worked or me. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Now's probably a good time to mention that I'm a massive fucking Reylo and ate every scene of Kylo and Rey up like it was candy. I get why some people don't like this ship and I think if you're not on board with these two by the end of the film the ending to Ren's story won't be very satisfying. Given that I already loved these two's relationship that Ren's ultimate sacrifice got me straight in the feels and that contributed to my ultimate satisfaction with the film.

Okay, That's everything I wanted to be analytical about. Now here are just some random, unrendered thoughts.

*I absolutely adored the main trio in this movie. Their dynamic was fun and they all clicked so well together and made me what a whole nother trilogy about these three precious beans. Imma be reading a LOT of jedistormpilot fics after this because that unit was fantastic.

*I'm a bit peeved that they fake out 'killed' C-3PO cause his final goodbye was actually really touching. Bringing him back undercut what I thought was a really touching farewell.

*I don't think I've gushed enough about how much I adored all of the force bond stuff that happened in this movie because that shit was beautiful. I could not get enough of the Reylo force battles. Their final scene was *chef''s kiss* and I'll be rewatching it as much as I do the praetorian guard fight.

*Shout out to this film for remembering force sensitive Finn was a thing. I respect that.

*RIP Hux. I know I'm one of the 7 people who actually care, but I'm upset that he was given such a minor role and killed off by nameless first order general guy. Like he couldn't have even be killed by Kylo. smh

*The new droid was super cute. 10/10. Would buy a lifesize plush of that guy.

*This movie made me imagine Sheev Palpatine impregnating someone and I can never forgive it for that.

*The Knights of Ren were so unintentionally comedic to me. I genuinely burst out laughing every time I saw them because they were these back goons with these silly weapons that did basically nothing. I feel bad for anyone who was hyped to see them cause they were so inconsequential. The porgs in TLJ had more characterization than they did. One of the best moments in this whole movie was when a random stormtrooper that saw them and simply said "squad goals". I almost fucking died. That stormtrooper and Cait Salt-Licker are absolute legends.

*This may be the least visually interesting movies in the sequel trilogy. Don't get me wrong there is some gorgeous cinematography and shot composition in this movie. Every single scene with Palpatine was amazing and gave me chills, but it did feel like there were less jaw dropping stunning scenes in this one compared to The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. No one moment really sticks out to me as much as say, the Holdo maneuver did in TLJ or the forest lightsaber fight in TFA.

I don't think this movie will be well loved by many people. People who've hated the sequels thus far may be won over by the return of Palpatine, but I don't think it's enough to win over the detractors. I think people who genuinely liked the direction these films seemed to be taking after The Last Jedi will be disappointed in how this one plays out. There was a lot to love about The Rise of Skywalker, but there was also a lot of missed potential.

[sushigirlali]

Happy Accidents (A Reylo Fanfic)

@reylo-week-2019 | Day: 04 | Prompt: Time Travel

Day 01 | Day 02 | Day 03 | Day 04 | Day 05 | Day 06 | Day 07

——————

Happy Accidents

By: sushigirlali

——————

Staring at the back of Rey Niima’s sable head like a Seer peering into a crystal orb, Ben attempted to puzzle out what was going on with her. They’d developed a friendly rivalry since first year, so quelling his natural inclination to tease her for falling asleep in class was difficult, but the dark circles blooming under her expressive eyes everyday had become down right concerning.

But every time he’d tried to broach the subject with her over the last few weeks, Rey automatically assumed he was insulting her and became defensive. “I suppose I should be used to it by now, we’re not technically friends after all, but still, I…”

“That’s enough for today,” Professor Flitwick informed the room, interrupting his train of thought. “You’re all well on your way to acing the N.E.W.T.s. Go enjoy what’s left of your Saturday!”

Several people cheered at being released from exam prep early, but Ben didn’t mind the weekend class. Rey had signed up too, after all.

Keeping track of the girl in question out of the corner of his eye, Ben shoved his spellbooks and parchment haphazardly into his bag while Finn Johnson shook her awake.

“He doesn’t have to be so rough with--never mind.” Ben hid a grin as Rey shoved her best friend right back, nearly knocking him into his girlfriend, Rose Tico.

“I was just trying to wake you up, Rey, no need to go feral on me,” Finn joked.

“I’ll show you feral,” she glared, scrubbing her face with her hands. “Did I fall asleep again?”

“Yeah,” Finn frowned, exchanging a look with Rose. “You know, we’re getting kind of worried about--”

“Not this again!” Rey said, standing up to gather her things.

“Yes this again,” Rose insisted. “You’re barely getting any rest at all, on top of worrying about--”

“Shh!” Rey whispered, scanning the room.

Ben looked away before she caught his gaze, but he could feel her eyes on him.

“Not here, please,” Rey said. “We can talk about it in the common room.”

“You’ll only disappear on us again if we don’t discuss this now,” Finn said stubbornly. “Listen, about that...sensitive matter we discussed the other day, we were thinking maybe you should just tell him. It’ll be one less thing to lose sleep over, and I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? I’m sure he--”

“Will. You. Shut. Up?!” Rey snapped, sounding incredibly embarrassed.

“What’s this now?” Ben wondered, intrigued by her show of temper. “Tell who what?”

“Rey!” Rose reprimanded.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Rey deflated. “Can we please talk about this later? I want to hit the library before dinner.”

“Alright,” Finn softened. “We’re heading back to the common room to drop our stuff. Meet us in the Great Hall in an hour?”

“Sure,” Rey smiled. “See you then!”

Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible while the trio said their goodbyes, Ben waited a beat before following them out of the classroom. With her friends splitting off to head up to Gryffindor Tower, Rey descended the stairs toward the first floor, and presumably, the library.

But just as he was about to call out to her, Rey ducked into an empty classroom instead. “What the hell?”

Stalking to the door in a few long strides, Ben peeked through the stained glass insert just in time to see Rey tug a thin gold necklace from under her robes. Ben recognized the circular pendant from a book about time travel, but couldn’t believe that Rey would have such a highly regulated magical item in her possession.

Barging into the room without so much as a knock, Ben startled Rey into looking up. “Is that a time turner?” he asked without preamble. “Is that why you’ve been so tired lately? You’ve been messing around with time travel?”

“What?” Rey said, dumbfounded by the accusation. “How did you…? Wait. Were you listening to us?” she demanded. “Because that’s a complete invasion of my—”

“Are you serious?” Ben replied incredulously. “No, I wasn’t listening to you. Or, I wasn’t trying to at least. But that really isn’t the issue here.”

“No?” Rey folded her arms and leaned back against a desk. “Enlighten me then.”

“This is about what ever scheme your merry band of idiots have concocted. Out with it, what are you planning to do with that?” Ben indicated the golden timepiece still clutched in her hand.

Rey stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Oh, Solo, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said, striding forward and impulsively plucking the time turner from her grasp.

“Wait!” she cautioned as the hourglass flipped on its head. “Ben, don’t--!”

But it was too late, time was already spinning around them.

Trying to keep his head as students and teachers filtered in and out the room at light speed, Ben marveled at the experience of traveling through time; studying magical theory and living it were definitely two different things.

When reality came back into focus and they were alone again, Rey jerked the necklace out of his hand and stuffed it back down her shirtfront. “How many times did it turn? Did you count?”

“What? No.”

“Great, just great!” she fumed, rolling up her sleeve. “Okay, my watch says it’s 5:57, which means we have three minutes until the clock tower chimes. That should at least tell us what time it is, even if we don’t know what day yet.”

“Huh? I don’t--hey!” Ben yelped as Rey grabbed his arm and yanked him toward the door. “What the hell, Niima? You can’t just--”

“Shut up!” she hissed, cracking open the door.

“Excuse me?! I will not--mmph!” Shocked into silence as she clamped her hand over his mouth, Ben froze as two familiar scarlet figures rushed past them.

“Shit, we’re going to be so late!” Poe Dameron groused, hastily pulling on his Keeper’s gloves as he passed.

“It’s your fault,” Finn reminded him. “You’re the one who busted out the fire whisky.”

“And you’re the one who decided to drink it,” Poe replied.

“Like you gave us much of a choice! You said we’d all be kicked off the team if we didn’t have a drink or seven with the captain,” Finn baited.

“I said no such thing!” Poe protested. “Unless, of course, I did, in which case…”

As their voices faded away, Ben stared down at the slender fury holding onto him. “Rey?” he tried, muffled by her warm palm. “I think they’re gone.”

“Oh, thank god!” she exclaimed, releasing him. “We can’t be seen!”

“Together you mean?” he frowned at the insinuation.

“Yes, obviously,” she said hastily.

“Ouch, Rey.”

“Okay, if Finn and Poe are heading to practice after the party last night, then it must still be Saturday.” She started pacing. “I’ll be there too, so we don’t need to worry about running into me. Where were you around--” she paused as the clock clanged several times “--7:00 am?”

“In the dungeons, sleeping in like a normal person on a Saturday morning,” Ben informed her.

“Oh, ha ha,” Rey deadpanned. “So, it seems we’re in the clear then.”

“No harm, no foul?” he said tentatively.

“Sure, we’ll go with that when I have to explain to my head of house why I used the time turner for no reason.”

“To your--? So, you’re using the time turner for academic reasons?” Ben queried. It seemed obvious now that he thought about it. “Well, I feel stupid.”

“Duh,” Rey said, rolling her eyes. “But, um, thanks I guess? For being worried about me.”

“Yeah, well, I do care about you,” Ben admitted.

“You do?” she tilted her head, examining him like a particularly difficult arithmancy problem.

“Duh,” he smiled. “So, what are we going to do for twelve hours?”

“Might as well head to the library, I guess, and--what?” Rey stopped when she saw his pained expression.

“May I suggest the kitchens instead? It may be early, but I’m still ready for dinner.”

“Sure,” Rey laughed, slowly slipping her hand through his. “I’m hungry too. And tired. Exhausted, actually.”

“Sounds like a nap is in order too,” Ben added.

“Sounds heavenly,” she agreed, pulling him into the corridor. “Finn and Rose keep telling me I should drop a couple classes and turn in the time turner. What do you think?”

“I think you should give your all to the classes you’re most passionate about,” he advised. “You’re already beating me in every subject, so if you’re trying to impress me, trust me, I’m impressed.”

“I’m not--I’m--” Rey stuttered, stopping short just outside the entrance to the kitchens.

“I’m kidding,” Ben said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Smooth, Solo. Real smooth.”

“No, maybe I was trying to impress you,” she admitted sheepishly.

“What?”

“Ben, I--I really like you. Maybe even more than like you. Now, you don’t have to say anything back, but I just wanted to--mmph!”

Ben silenced her with a brief kiss before tickling the painted pear on the door behind them. “First food, then a nap, then love confessions, okay? You look like you’re about to drop.”

“If you insist,” Rey beamed. 

By the time the next bell sounded, they were settling comfortably by the fire, sharing a plate of ham sandwiches and a flagon of pumpkin juice between them.

“You know what?” Rey said, yawning as she reclined in Ben’s strong arms.

“What?”

“I’m glad this happened.”

“Yeah?” he responded, hardly believing his good fortune.

“Yeah. I can think of worse ways to pass the time.”

-FIN-

——————

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr 

[theglassishalfsomething]

Darcy Interviews Bing: Romance

 1. Do you believe in love at first sight? If so, convince me!

I do believe in it! Proof: a family friend of mine met his wife at a Catholic youth group meeting and told the friend he went with to the gathering as they were leaving that he couldn’t live without her. He just knew. They’ve been married for 30+ years now. 

Look- we’ve talked about this. I don’t believe in relationship at first sight- that’s crazy. And I don’t think that the love is fully formed or mature but I think it’s real, I think it’s love, and I think it can happen at first sight (meeting). 

I’m not saying it’s the only way people fall in love. It’s not the way a lot of people do and that’s totally fine. I also think it’s something that irresponsible people can use as an excuse for irresponsible behavior and it doesn’t justify anything in terms of recklessness or even foolishness. You still have to get to know someone before you commit to dating them, you shouldn’t be reckless. But what’s in your heart, though fragile, undeveloped, “no proof, not much” IS love. That’s what it IS. It’s not something else! 

And in a sense all love is love at first sight. As Christopher Marlowe says, “Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?” Sometimes it just takes us longer to see it- the first sight happens down the road but it still happens in a moment. I totally get why people love the Darcy/Lizzy love story more than a more conventional love at first sight. I too am probably more moved by “I cannot fix on the hour or the spot or the look or the words that laid the foundation; it is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I’d begun” than “I just knew” but then idk !!! they’re both beautiful!!

I tend to get in fights with people about this and I haven’t yet succeeded in convincing anyone of this and also it doesn’t really matter because I think it’s probably wiser that people don’t go around believing it and being convinced that the cute person you made eye contact with on public transportation is THE ONE and you “just know”. But I just. In my heart of hearts I believe it’s real. 

Matt Damon met his wife at a bar okay!!!! Saw her across the room !!!! and KNEW. I didn’t make that up- that happened to him.

2. If you could spend an hour talking about love with one person, living or dead, who would it be?

Well, in truth I’d talk about it with my family and friends but as I already DO that I’m going to go with Taylor Swift and/or (hopefully and) Jane Austen. I think it would be pretty funny if they were both prosaic about it though. Being an artist and being an explainer/rhetorician aren’t the same thing and I love the idea of both of them being not very eloquent about something they’re so GOOD at talking about in other ways. Like the way you once described Megan Whalen Turner and Adam Driver as discussing their work in the same matter-of-fact, understated, unflowery way. (I think about that a lot.)

This question got away from me. I’d still want to talk to Taylor about it though haha. 

3. Do you think that “opposites attract” is a more consistently true principle of successful romance, or can two similar people work together?

WHAT A GOOD QUESTION AND ONE ON WHICH I HAVE MUSED MUCH SINCE YOU FIRST POSED IT TO ME

I think in the end it comes back to the idea of balance. (#reylo, #willieverstopbeingthemostannoyingaboutthisNO) Romances, friendships, any kind of relationship works great and beautifully when there are complementary differences that create a natural check and balance between two people. We’ve all got to steady each other out you know. But romance especially calls for those differences in temperament and even outlook where faults as much as virtues help keep the other in check/help push the other to grow. Damon is so sarcastic, Elena is so sincere. She grounds him and cuts through his defenses; he draws her out of her seriousness and out of her head and makes her have a little more fun. Ben is contemplative and thoughtful and questioning, Rey reckless, impulsive, and action-driven. He steadies Rey’s unthinking action, she helps shake him out of his inaction. They’re better together. I could go on.

“Opposites attract” has definitely been overblown because I think having the same fundamental priorities and beliefs and values is most important in a marriage- the most important thing let’s be real- and even in terms of interests and outlook similarities are good. But the edge of difference in personality and approach is good- it’s what creates the spark! It’s what makes it work. Thank God (truly) that we aren’t all the same.

4. What is the greatest lie about romance that is widely accepted?

That romantic love can be separated from morality, from charity, and thrive. It can’t. As Lewis says in The Four Loves, “The rebellious slogan 'All for love' is really love's death warrant (date of execution, for the moment, left blank).”

On a (somewhat loosely) connected note, that’s why I side-eye those romances that start out and then continue against the wishes and support of family, friends, a wider community. I don’t want to overstate it! Parents, friends, community can be close-minded, unfair, hateful, wrong etc. FOR SURE. But marriages that start out against everyone else in their circle with no intention or desire for reconciliation, with just the two people involved feeling that “this is us against the world, we can defeat all odds!” are not a good idea. A couple’s reasons for cutting ties and starting out in isolation may be necessary but should never be undertaken lightly or as a matter of course because we all need support. We need each other. 

“We’re In Love And Anyone Who Says We Cannot Do Whatever We Want Because Of That Hates True Love” feels like a default attitude in today’s culture, especially for teenagers, whenever any objections are raised. Objections should be raised. Sit DOWN and be willing to work your way through them and prove that you’ve thought about them and are ready for the risks and the work involved to make this the best thing it can possibly be. Stop being stupid!!! Your love is not the answer to everything!!!!! Your love cannot be your sole guide!!!! 

But I mean, true love that wants the true good can. But that’s different from passion, emotion and it’s not what everyone is operating from you know? We’re messy and human.

5. What do you dream of for your own romantic future, if you do?

Judging by these answers, it seems that I think it’s far too big a risk!!

But I mean, dreaming. Hmm. wow this is making me feel very shy. (Can I lower my font size so it’s like I’m whispering.) I want.............I don’t know. Alright, apart from someone who agreed with me on what was most fundamentally important- faith especially obviously- I’d want to love and be loved very deeply. I want all the things we talk about- friendship, trust, someone who helps me grow, someone who challenges me, someone who loves me a lot whom I loved as much in return. It’s- yeah. This isn’t a good answer but it’s such a hard question. 

6. Is I love you the most romantic thing that can be said, or are there other words you would choose?

you know I think “I love you” IS the most romantic thing !!! !!! Before you asked this I would have thought that I didn’t think that and I do love other verbal ways of expressing love but there is something about the words themselves that get to me. Whenever I hear it onscreen I kind of tear up a little bit. It’s why I always tend to ship canon couples at least a little bit because it’s like “BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER”. You know how I feel about Tyler and Caroline which is not much but there’s that one scene where he writes her a letter and it’s like “I will always love you” and i’m like “SHOOT ME I CAN’T TAKE IT.” 

They’re such beautiful words, so straightforward. So ageless. They don’t change! Human beings have been saying them to each other for centuries.

7. How, in this crazy fandom world, do we identify relationships that are ACTUALLY toxic, versus those that are growing/developing/in need of work?

ahem ahem aHEM A relationship isn’t toxic because screenwriters decide to have the characters say it is without backing that up or with writing bad decisions. I’m not bitter I say bitterly with a bitter expression. 

Relationships that are built on nothing but bad things- selfishness, control, abuse, lies- are toxic. Relationships that are separated from the pursuit of the good are toxic. 

That said, and it’s a big “that said”, we’re all broken, we’re all damaged, we’re all wounded and sinful and I believe that things can get better, that people can heal so a lot of rhetoric around this topic strikes me as wrong. Tumblr especially tends to label conflict, challenge, and imperfections as toxicity and it’s just- no. Those are all parts of a healthy relationship in this fallen world. 

Another way of putting it is that I think, in fiction especially, relationships that don’t DEAL with anything, that don’t involve the struggle of communication are not good. Lies and surface-level resolutions aren’t good.

I’m not qualified enough to talk more about it. (I mean it hasn’t stopped me so far but it’s stopping me here.)

8. Is love a choice?

Yes, but you can’t always control how you feel initially. You can always control what you do though, and it’s the doing that’s the most of love. To paraphrase Lewis, the feeling is just the spark that ignited it. 

(*sings* “I can’t decide if it’s a choice, getting swept away”)

9. How do you like your romance, in fiction: full of light and sunshine, warm and constant, or tragically resolute?

All of the above. If I had to choose one I’d say “warm and constant” but all of it absolutely kills me. Screams into the void. 

10. Tell me what kind of man I should marry.

Someone principled, steady, witty, kind. Also someone who’s a good cook and also who likes dogs so that you know they’re real and have at least one fault in your eyes.

[walkingwookie]

Mini Semi-Reylo One Shot

“Pain”

Ben sits alone on the floor of the old base.

It’s always most dangerous for Ben to be alone. When he’s alone, he’s victim to his thoughts and those can do more damage and inflict more pain than a weapon ever could.

He should be used to the feeling of being alone, after all the years of experiencing it, but this time the loneliness doesn’t greet him like an old friend. The loneliness that greets him is empty, cold, and wrought with pain.

Ben doesn’t try to fight back the tears that threaten to break free. They escape from his prison after being held captive for too many years. They fall freely and Ben is jealous of the beads of sadness. Jealous of the freedom they have.

Ben is being held captive by his own decisions. The paths he has chosen to take were bumpy but he assumed would lead him to glory. However, now that he has all the power in the universe, Ben realizes power doesn’t equal glory. Nor does it lead to happiness.

Ben wants to be free of his pain. Free of the pain he can never seem to escape. Free of the feeling that courses through his veins.

Ben wants to be free.

Ben can still feel the weight of his Dad’s dice in his hand, the power they still manage to hold over him is immense.

He wants to be free of the pain he brought his father. Free of all the years his decisions hurt his mother. But he can’t, Ben knows that’s not how it works. He’s made the decisions he’s made and now he must live with the consequences. Ben finds the irony of how unfair life can be unamusing.  

Still, Ben waits as he wishes his pain could vanish with a snap of someone’s fingers. He waits despite not knowing what for.

Maybe he’s waiting for Rey to come back?

No. That’s impossible, Ben knows that Rey will never return.

Accepting the truth of that is more painful to Ben than anything Snoke ever did to hurt him. Ben would rather be struck with Force lighting a million times before seeing Rey’s expression when he asked her to join him again.

He asked her to do the impossible because he’d done the impossible so many times before. If he’d done the impossible, Ben assumed she could too. But Ben’s assumption was wrong. Is wrong.

Ben sinks further to the floor. No longer on his knees, Ben longs for a hug, for touch, but his longing is immediately shut down when he remembers that anyone who’s ever given him that kind of affection has hurt him. Intentional or not.

The image of Luke’s green saber still fills Ben’s mind. The memory haunts him, it’s a ghost that can never find resolve. Ben feels that Luke has passed on through the Force but that isn’t enough for him. He will never be able to come to terms with what his uncle did. Never. Ben will never find closure with his Uncle and now that he’s one with the Force he never can. Ben wishes he could turn back time to host a civil conversation with his former master’s apparition, could he have done the impossible once again?

The green saber that has haunted Ben for years seems so appealing right about now. Ben thinks about how much better the galaxy would have been if Luke had acted on his impulses all those years ago. What if Ben had never woken up? Luke would’ve sliced through his body eradicating the darkness plaguing his mind for good.

He would’ve been free from his pain.

Ben’s hand finds his own saber. His hand runs over the saber’s length, his thumb pauses over the power switch. It would be so easy to click. Everything would be over in the blink of an eye. The pain would finally be gone. Would it be that easy?

Ben’s thumb presses down, but he hesitates. Why is he hesitating?

Ben finds himself lost in silence, devoured by the stillness of Crait’s air. He can’t do it. Just like he couldn’t fire on his mother. Is this the same hesitation Luke faced?

Ben wonders once again what the galaxy could’ve become had Luke followed through with his plan. Would everything be better? Would the New Republic still be in power? Ben doesn’t think so, Snoke was still lurking in the outer regions building the First Order. He still would’ve emerged with Hux as his puppy instead of me, Ben thinks. Had he been killed, his mother would’ve taken a step back from politics. Wouldn’t she? Then again, when she lost her planet and everyone she cared for, she carried on just as strong if not stronger. Maybe the galaxy would’ve become what it was destined to be after the fall of the empire, maybe Ben was still the only thing preventing that from happening.

Ben presses his thumb on the switch once again but is faced with more cowardice. He can’t do it.

Ben’s mind is no longer filled with the vision of Luke’s saber. The saber has been replaced by a pair of eyes. Two simple eyes that changed everything.

The only two eyes in the galaxy that mattered to him were all he could see. The eyes that held both the desert sun and the forest floor within them now seemed to haunt him. Two eyes Ben was sure he would only see again in death.

Ben wondered if he could fall to the light side for a pair of pretty eyes? Could he? He killed Snoke for them, but were they enough to go fully light? No, Ben decided they weren’t, but they were enough to prevent him from being fully dark.

The pair of beautifully hazel eyes were yet another roadblock in his emersion in the dark side. Ben wondered if being dark was supposed to be this hard. Usually, you just were dark, born dark. Ben had to try to be dark. It didn’t come naturally to him, but neither did the light.

If he’s not light or dark, then what is he?

Ben considers himself dark, but his heart has always betrayed him and it won’t stop now.

Ben’s fingers leave the hilt of his saber and instead, find his cloak. They twist and grab the material just to offer a distraction from the pain that still seems to define him.

Ben hears familiar footsteps approach him from behind. He doesn’t need to reach out with the force to figure out who it is. Anyone who walks that heavily and unevenly can only be referred to as Armitage Hux, or as Ben likes to call him, dickass.

Ben takes a deep and shaky breath as the man stops behind him. Ben doesn’t dare turn to acknowledge the rabbit cur, not after he’s been letting his emotions get the best of him.  Not after he’s grown weak for a simple pair of eyes.

Ben registers the sound of metal against a holster before he feels a blaster close against his back. Had Ben wanted to fight back, Hux’s neck would be broken and he’d be laying on the floor dead right now. But Ben isn’t sure that’s what he wants anymore. Ben is tired of fighting, he just wants peace.

“Supreme Leader, you are unfit to rule,” Hux begins his carefully thought out monologue but Ben pays him, nor his words, any attention. Hux doesn’t deserve his attention nor has he earned his respect.

Ben knows Hux’s greater plan and he just wants him to get on with it.

Why drag on the inevitable?

After some time, Hux finally wraps up his monologue. “…I am removing you from power. Given our history, I’m allowing you to speak some choice last words. Make them good, they’re going to be used as propaganda.”

Ben wasn’t going to Hux the pleasure of his last words being pleas for sparing him.

He chose his words carefully and spoke them with confidence in a monotone voice.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away a story began, now I’m here to say ‘the end’.”

Ben’s skin tickled as the pair of eyes he almost threw everything away for appeared before him for the last time.

Ben felt his pain melt away as the blaster shot erupted in the air. Hux turned and left Ben to die like the animal he was. Alone and helpless.

But he wasn’t alone, he was accompanied by the eyes. Not only the eyes but the whole girl.  

Little did either of them know, they were a lot more connected than they’d originally thought. Ben’s blaster wound lay directly beside his heart and was mirrored beside Rey’s own heart. Together, the pain the two of them had experienced throughout their lives evaporated as they fell into an eternal sleep in each other’s arms.

They were finally free.

[solerey]

Rules & Verses for Mobile:

Having had these requested for my Finn account, I thought I should go ahead and make some mobile-accessible rules/verses for the rest of my accounts too, so here are Rey’s! (This also includes the various parental backstories I will play for her.) Note that while I don’t change my rules much (or basically ever lol) the VERSES information here is definitely not going to be up-to-date because I am forever making new aus…but here’s a start, at least, to give you something to explore until you get back to your computers!

Mun is named Nicky and is well over 21. Muse’s age will vary. Multi-ship and multi-verse.

RULES:

Following and Mututals:

This is a sideblog of nickyrp and as such cannot follow back.

We do not need to be mutuals to send memes or starters. Feel free to throw things like that at me at any time even if we’ve never played or plotted before. If I’m not interested or just too busy etc I promise I will let you know politely and not just leave you hanging!

If you want to play please send me a message or toss me a starter; I’m bad at paying attention to my follower count and probably didn’t notice your subtle arrival! Or thought you wanted to lurk idk. Say hi!

If you are a multimuse with a lot of characters or a lot of fandoms all on one url, I may not follow you because that tends to be overwhelming for me. It’s nothing personal nor a comment on your writing style; it’s just more than I can easily keep track of, myself. (That’s why mine are all on their own sideblogs.)

If I can’t read your blog (small text, low-contrast colors, etc) I will not interact with your character. I don’t have the best eyes and straining to read sucks all the fun out of rp. If you need any of my formatting or color choices adjusted for your own ease of accessibility please let me know! I will do so happily.

You can reblog any of my shit (headcanons, graphics, verses, meta, whatever) even if you’re a personal blog, I don’t care; it’s all one fandom imo. That said please don’t reblog my interaction threads with other people because most rp-ers do not like their things reblogged and I want to respect that. If I reblog anything of yours you do not want reblogged just let me know and I will delete it; I promise it’s just because I thought the thing was cool and got excited!

Interactions:

I am always up for trying new things so if you have a crazy idea, please hit me up! I promise I rarely disintegrate anyone.

I am happily open to interacting with Original Characters! I need to know who your character is though, so if you don’t have a bio or background I can find on your blog I’m not going to be interested.

I will not write smut with anyone under the age of eighteen.

If I ever do something that upsets or confuses or offends you, please let me know. It probably wasn’t intentional and I always want to be called out on problematic behavior because how else can I learn to do better? I promise to react apologetically, not defensively.

Formatting:

I’m a visual person so I like icons and gifs and will almost always incorporate them. If you don’t want to use images that’s cool with me, but I majored in comic book art so I enjoy the marriage of words with images. I should further admit that interactions with visuals do tend to keep me more excited than plain ones – I’m shallow!

I’m not a big fan of fancy formatting. I don’t mind if you use it but I don’t. Feel free to adjust my formatting to suit your aesthetic if that makes you more comfortable, but I’ll likely keep mine simple.

If you need any triggers tagged message me and I’ll do so gladly.

Canon & AUs:

I have as of yet read very little of the expanded universe materials for the New Canon (a few comics, the Thrawn novel, etc). As such, my portrayal of Rey may at times be lacking in regards to supplemental canon information. Please never hesitate to inform me of any details relevant to your character or any ongoing/burgeoning threads. I appreciate that assistance!

As far as the Legends EU goes, I have read most of the old novels (excepting NJO period) and many of the Dark Horse comics but that is a lot of material and I do not promise to remember everything. Please let me know if I make a mistake or assumption you do not agree with; I promise I will not be offended!

I will generally default to putting Rey into the canon of the Sequel Trilogy because that is where she comes from, but I am happy to play her in Legends Canon too – just let me know! If you don’t indicate verse/time on a meme or starter, I might pick another verse (or make a new one) so please indicate where you want to play if you have a preference!

I also love making AUs whether canon-divergence or totally off-the-wall so please don’t hesitate to throw new verses my way! I love both plotting and winging-it when building new worlds, so don’t be shy!

Characters Relationships & Shipping:

Platonic Ships: I generally enjoy Rey without any ships and am thus extraordinarily eager for friendships, familial relationships, and Found Family interactions. (Antagonistic and abrasive interactions are also welcome – it doesn’t have to be all sweetness and light all the time!) Rey very much wants to be loved, but it isn’t romance she is primarily looking for. I will usually write Rey as being either an aromantic or biromatic asexual.

OTPs: That said, I do thoroughly enjoy the idea of a Finn/Rey/Poe polyship and would be thrilled to play out interactions under that set-up. I will also happily ship her with either of those two gentlemen on their own, or with Rose Tico or Jess Pava or Jannah or really anyone whom it makes sense to ship her with, providing there is chemistry and a basis in friendship to build the ship from (whether that be formed via interaction or plotted ahead of time). Interspecies ships with non-human characters are also welcome!

NOTPs: No teacher/student, adult/minor, or incestuous ships, please. Additionally I will not ship Rey with Kylo Ren in any verse. I have no objections to playing in verses where they are not related, but due to the fact that I started thinking of them them as siblings about five minutes into my first viewing of TFA (the Jaina/Jacen vibes were too strong for my Legends-based heart, sorry!), it is simply something that I am not comfortable shipping regardless of their actual familial status in a verse or lack thereof. Please tag your reylo so I can block it?

One-Way Ships: I will never force a ship on you. I expect the same courtesy in return. That said, you are more than welcome to have your character express unrequited romantic feelings toward mine. (In most cases I expect I’d even be okay with this sort of one-way attraction coming from a Kylo Ren character; if it ends up crossing the edges of my comfort zone I’ll let you know!)

Main Faceclaim: Daisy Ridley [older: Keira Knightley] [younger: Raffey Cassidy]

“We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down.” ―Poe Dameron

VERSES & BACKSTORIES:

I am a big fan of AUs and canon-divergent verses so if you don’t see something here that looks like your cup of caf know that I am always happy to plot out a new one! Also feel free to pull anything from my wishlist.

BACKSTORY OPTIONS: I find that I enjoy the Rey Palpatine/Rey-Chooses-Skywalker Idea more and more the longer I contemplate it. I do however remain wholly convinced that Rey Organa-Solo was the original intention with the character in TFA. Thus, for threads set early in Rey’s character arc I am likely to default to Rey Organa-Solo while in threads set later I’ll probably go the Palpatine/Skywalker route. (And I have other options too!) If you have a backstory preference, please specify before starting a thread.

The Last Solo (default canon verse): Rey was too little to remember that her full name was Breha Organa Solo but it wouldn’t have mattered if she’d been one hundred; when Emperor Palpatine decides to mind-rub the entire galaxy, they forget. Sensing the all-but-unprecedented power within the little girl, the half-resurrected shadow of Palpatine was too tempted by her potential to destroy her outright; instead he erased her life. He couldn’t erase the emotional weight of her absence, though, nor the instant sense of connection felt by both Rey and those who had once loved her. Even Kylo Ren didn’t know why the little girl he dragged from the ruins of the Jedi Temple mattered, but he couldn’t bring himself to kill her, instead abandoning both her and his father’s ship on Jakku before following Snoke into the Dark. Palpatine’s lies about Rey’s lineage fooled everyone for a time – but in the end, the truth felt real in a way that the lies did not, and Rey reclaimed the heritage he had stolen. In the end, Palaptine lost everything.

The Last Skywalker (secondary canon verse): When the half-resurrected former Emperor mind-rubbed the entire galaxy to forget Luke Skywalker’s daughter, he succeeded – but his former Hand recognized the feeling of his touch on her thoughts. Mara Jade immediately knew he was back. She didn’t know why she felt such a connection to the little girl buried beside her in the ruins of the Jedi Temple, but she knew she had to kill her former master – and that she had to keep this child safe. She “borrowed” her brother-in-law’s ship and went searching for Palaptine, her forgotten daughter in tow. When she reached Jakku, she left the girl and the ship behind, knowing the next step was too dangerous to bring a child she loved along – but the Final Order she found was more than the fragments of the Empire she had expected, and Mara never returned for her daughter. That didn’t stop the girl who called herself Rey from sensing a connection to her true family when she finally found them again, nor stop her from claiming her true lineage in the end in spite of Palaptine’s lies. (Can also be played with a different mother!)

Palpatine’s Heir (canonical canon verse): When Rey at last discovered her lineage, she was horrified. She was the granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine, the man who had destroyed the Old Republic and created the Empire – and was now the resurrected Lord of the Sith. After initially giving in to fear and despair at the darkness she believed she saw within herself, Rey eventually returned to the war. With the assistance of Kylo Ren, who had turned his back on the Sith at the last minute, she was able to destroy Palpatine while the Resistance obliterated the Final Order’s fleet. Hope was restored to the galaxy, Rey was restored to life in a final act of atonement, and the stain of the Sith was at last ended…at least for now. Choosing to turn her back on the bloodline that spawned her, Rey has instead declared herself a Skywalker in essence if not in birthright, carrying on the legacy of the late Luke and Leia. As the first of the new Jedi, Rey now looks to teach others the ways of the Force as Leia did her – starting with her dearest friend, Finn.

Not So Nobody (alt canon verse): The daughter of Kam and Tionne Solusar, two of Luke’s earliest Jedi students, Rey was the first child born within the Temple. Kylo Ren desperately wanted to make her his first apprentice of the Dark Side, but the Solusars escaped the slaughter and fled across the galaxy. The First Order pursued. Unable to shake them, Kam and Tionne made landfall on the nearest planet: Jakku. They hid Rey with a junk dealer and left, planning to lead Ren away and double-back when it was safe – but the First Order caught them. They convinced Kylo Ren that Rey had died of wounds taken during the attack on the Temple, but the deception cost them their lives. Kylo Ren was irritated to have lost Rey as an apprentice but had more important things to do than dwell on the death of one child…until he heard about the girl on Jakku who helped the deserter. He knew immediately who she had to be – and that she would become his apprentice after all, or he would ensure that her parents’ lie became the truth.

Orphan of Jakku (alt canon verse): Kylo Ren told the truth: Rey’s parents were nobody…but what does that matter? A person’s worth isn’t determined by their lineage but by their choices. And Rey chooses the Light and the Resistance and she will give her all to defend her friends and to free the galaxy from the shackles the First Order wants to wrap them in. Kylo Ren might be descended from Darth Vader but Rey doesn’t need to be a Skywalker too in order to end him and his reign.

Twinverse (for duplicates): Twins run in the Skywalker line, and B(rey)ha and Pad(mey) were no exception. Named for both of Leia’s mothers, their loss hit her as hard her son’s fall to the Dark Side – and hit the girls even harder: separated for the first time in their lives, they were scattered to distant planets and lost, abandoned. So young they could barely remember their own names let alone those of their family, they grew-up like orphans until one day “Rey” found herself leaving aboard a ship whose controls fit her hands like they’d been made for her. When the Force stirred in Rey, it reached out to her sister as well and Mey went looking for the family that had never come back to find her. (I’m happy to play either Rey or Other Rey in all versions! Can also be done as Skywalker twins or nobody twins. Names changeable!)

SEQUEL TRILOGY VERSES:

Her Mother’s Daughter (alt post-TFA): Leia had always been too busy running rebellions and piecing-together governments to truly master the Force, but she knew enough to teach Rey the basics – at least until the old friends she dispatched to fetch her brother could talk him into coming back. She could have sent Rey, but after losing Han she didn’t want to let her daughter out of her sight – not so soon after finding the long-thought-dead girl again. Besides, they had so much to catch up on…and the Resistance could use a Force Sensitive woman like Breha, training or no training. And for General Organa, duty always came first.

Corrupted Coordinates (alt post-TFA): the map did not lead them to Master Skywalker. Artoo wasn’t sure if the data was corrupted or if Luke had been there at one point and then moved on – but wherever he was, it wasn’t here. Unwilling to return to the Resistance empty-handed (to fail again the way she had failed to save Han, to protect Finn) Rey went looking for every rumor of Luke she could find. Aboard the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca and R2-D2 in tow, she is determined to keep searching until she can come back to Leia with something that will give them all hope.

A Newer Hope (alt TLJ): It wasn’t Rey who finally convinced Luke Skywalker to come back to the Force, back to the Resistance, back to his sister; it was the droid Artoo Deetoo, perhaps Luke’s oldest living friend. Artoo’s old hologram reminded Luke of the boy he’d once been and the hopes that had once filled his life to brimming. Lifting her Jedi Master’s ancient X-Wing from the water had been the last task Rey completed before Luke deemed her ready to return to the galaxy and to continue her training from within the Resistance, although he was cautious about letting her progress too quickly, unable to shake his fears of creating another Kylo Ren.

A Skywalker Returned (alt TLJ): If Luke had not cut himself off from the Force he would have recognized his daughter’s presence the moment she set foot on that island. As it was, the resemblance she bore to his sister – to the woman his daughter would have been if she had lived to grow-up – seemed like a cruel joke of the Force and inspired him to push her away instead. His daughter had died alongside her mother, murdered by Ben Solo in an attempt to hide his fall to the Dark Side…or so Luke had thought. Unable to kill his little cousin, Ben instead mind-rubbed her and dumped the confused girl on an out-of-the-way planet. He never expected the girl from Jakku to come back to haunt him – but the Force has a way of returning things to their proper balance, and Kylo Ren knows now that no lies will keep him safe from his long-lost cousin. Unless he can twist her to the Dark Side the way Snoke once twisted him, their next meeting will leave one or both of them dead.

The Rise of Organa-Solo (post-TLJ): Rey felt an instant connection to Han and Leia (and Kylo Ren), the Force within her whispering that this was the family she sought. Her father thought her resemblance to his beloved Leia was mere coincidence and died before learning the truth; her mother surely sensed something when they met but whether out of concern she might be wrong or hopes of sparing Rey further emotional turmoil before she started her Jedi training, Leia said nothing…and Luke had cut himself off from the Force and thus was unable to recognize his niece. Now only Leia remains to guide Rey into the Light away from Snoke’s lies and toward her destiny – but will the truth make it harder or easier for her when she has to kill her brother?

The First Jedi (alt post-TLJ): While Leia reforges the fragments of the Resistance into a New Rebellion, Rey has a mission of her own: finding other Force Sensitives and leading them with her into the Light before Kylo Ren’s agents can drag them to the Dark Side. She is no Jedi Master but she has the ancient Jedi teachings to draw from, friends to support her, and her own clarity of vision to guide her. She will learn, and she will teach. The Jedi will not end with her.

The Sunrider Option (alt TROS): With Kylo Ren dead at her hand, Rey  faced Palpatine alone – but she had read the old Jedi texts and knew of a different sort of sacrifice she could make. She did as commanded and struck him down, claiming her position as Empress of the Sith – but severed herself from the Force at the same time. The spirits of the Sith moved from him to her…and found nothing waiting there that could house them. They faded, dissipating into nothing but impotent screams. Before the Final Order could realize the ritual had failed, she gave the command for their fleet to stand down. The combined Resistance and Free People’s Fleets destroyed most of their ships before they could fight back or flee, and Rey returned to her friends alive and untainted – but forever sundered from the Force. Now she does her best to pass her training on to Finn so he can guide the new generation of Jedi that she will never be a part of…and learns to live with a world that will feel forever muffled, forever less.

The Balance Restored (post TROS): While Poe Dameron, Rose Tico, Kaydel co Connix, and the other leaders of the Resistance turn their hand from rebellion to building a government, Rey has a mission of her own: finding other Force Sensitives and training them as Leia did her. From the fragments of the Jedi Order, something new will rise – something that is not bound by the limitations of the Jedi Code or the sins of Jedi past, but something nonetheless firmly rooted in the Light. She will restore balance to the galaxy one student at a time, starting with her first apprentice: Finn.

Rebel Daughter (pre-TFA divergence): Breha was not lost when her brother fell to the Dark Side. She grew-up amidst the strain and stress of political upheaval and imminent war, but she also grew-up surrounded by family. Breha’s devotion to the Resistance is total – almost. The loss of her brother cut her too deep for even the dozens of unofficial aunts, uncles, and quasi-siblings of her parents’ friends and allies to assuage – but dragging Ben back to the Light would do it. Breha refuses to give up on the big brother she once adored, no matter what Uncle Luke or her parents caution her, but will she risk the continued survival of the Resistance she loves on her certainty that Ben is still in there somewhere, and she can bring him back? She tells herself it’s the will of the Force guiding her – but maybe she just misses her brother.

Scoundrel Daughter (pre-TFA divergence): when Ben Solo fell to the Dark Side, Leia and Han decided that the Force was too dangerous for their remaining child. Duty demanded that General Organa stay with her burgeoning Resistance, so Han and Chewie took young Breha away from war and into the safety of the seedier side of life. She grew up more on the Falcon than off, flitting from port to port and learning the tricks of the smuggler trade rather than the ways of the Force. It wasn’t until Hosnian Prime met its grim fate that they came home to Leia, joining the Resistance for a desperate mission to Starkiller Base – and Breha’s first confrontation with her brother since she had been a little girl and he had not yet become a monster.

Dark Lady of Ren (pre-TFA divergence): When young Ben Solo proved resistant to Snoke’s manipulations he set his sights on an easier target: the boy’s baby sister. His assault on the Jedi Temple left many survivors, but it had all been a distraction so he could kidnap Breha. Raised to the Dark Side and indoctrinated with the beliefs of the First Order, Kreya Ren has few memories of any life before and even less interest in uncovering them. With her family convinced that she died thirteen years ago, she might never have discovered her origins – save that Poe Dameron knew the moment they came face to face who this woman who looked so much like Leia had to be. That had been Kreya’s first mission as a Knight of Ren and she took Dameron’s escape and the defection of the traitor FN-2187 personally. Vowing to destroy the Resistance once and for all, Kreya Ren never expected to discover a brother barring her way – nor parents who refused to accept that she would never turn her back on the Dark Side.

Orderly Mechanic (pre-TFA divergence): The First Order was never picky about where it harvested its resources – or about how willing they were. Rey didn’t want to leave Jakku but she wasn’t given a choice when stormtroopers marched over the sands “recruiting” anyone useful. She was barely a teenager but everyone knew she was good with machines and they needed people to keep their ships spaceworthy. At least she’s learned a lot, although “traveling the galaxy” probably would be more exciting if she ever got to step foot off the ships for more than the occasional dirtside repair. Being a young and self-taught prodigy has netted Rey few friends among her co-workers, but some of the stormtrooper recruits at least are nice to the girl who helps fix their boots and blasters…and so far no one, not even Rey herself, has realized that her instinctive avoidance of Kylo Ren is anything more than ordinary prudence. And every day, her lost family feels a little further away…

More Coming Soon! like literally as soon as soon as someone asks for or suggests one, I love AUs. Don’t be shy!

LEGENDS EU VERSES:

Another Desert Daughter (as Shmi’s great-granddaughter): Luke felt an instant connection to the new Jedi trainee the moment Rey stepped into the temple. Here was yet another Force user from Tatooine, another orphaned child of the sands who dreamed beyond the confines of her hot and distant world, like Taihiri Veila and himself before them. So why did the extent of her powers frighten him? Was it because the coincidental resemblance of her features and his niece’s, his sister’s, had Luke making the mental leap to yet another Jedi from Tatooine? But this girl was no Vader, surely! Of course, if he had known that she too carried Skywalker blood in her veins, Luke might have let himself worry more…but Shmi Skywalker had died too quickly to tell her son that there was another. (can be set at any time in Legends Continuity but probably not NJO because I don’t know it)

Lost Hapan Princess (as Allana Djo Solo): deeming it too dangerous to hide her daughter in plain sight with Han and Leia Organa-Solo, Tenel Ka sent Allana to Dathomir after faking her death – but the ship never made it there. Left on the nearest planet for safe-keeping by her escort while they dealt with the threat pursing them, Allana soon found herself abandoned and alone. Her memories damaged by the upheaval in the Force following Caedus’s fall and Abeloth’s rise, she spent the next several years sure of nothing but that she had family out there somewhere who would be coming back for her…but as the amnesiac girl drew inward to shield herself from the darkness in the Force, Tenel Ka was forced to conclude that her deception about her daughter’s death had become the truth: Allana was gone. But the Force wasn’t done with the woman now called Rey just yet… (for post-LOTF interactions)

Littlest Solo Sister (as Breha Organa-Solo): either taking Anakin Solo’s place as the youngest of the three Solo children, standing alongside Anakin as the second set of Organa-Solo twins, or as the fourth and youngest of the siblings, Breha grew-up as the daughter of the New Republic’s Chief of State and the niece of the Jedi Grand Master. It was a life that involved lots of affection from a host of unofficial aunts and uncles, the occasional kidnapping, and training in the Jedi Temple on Yavin Four. It eventually involved war as well, interspersed with tragedy and darkness. (can be set at any time in Legends Continuity but I really don’t know the NJO so assistance with details may be necessary if you want that)

More Coming Soon! like literally as soon as soon as someone asks for or suggests one, I love AUs. Don’t be shy!

[dyadsaber]

Part 6 of A New Reylo Reads TFA: In Which a Dyad In the Force Has One of the Neatest Looking Lightsaber Battles I’ve Ever Seen and I Finally Get to the End of This Novelization

Previous parts in my dyadsaber text posts tag. 

I came out of the theater the first time LOVING the Rey and Finn vs Kylo in the snow as Starkiller Base falls apart around them scene.  Unless I’m completely forgetting something, we’d never seen a red vs blue lightsaber fight in SNOW before, and I thought it was GORGEOUS. (I know Luke uses his on Hoth, but the Wampa doesn’t have one too, so it doesn’t count.) I just watched the whole sequence again on youtube, you know, for research reasons, and I still love it just as much as I did the first time. (Maybe more?) 

Anyway… here’s my rundown of that scene from the novel: 

First of all, I HAVE QUESTIONS about which side of the Force Rey is drawing on here. TLJ kind of touches on the fact that Rey doesn’t have the “OMG the dark side is ALWAYS EVIL” indoctrination that kids at the Jedi temple (and Luke) would have gotten, and the number of times she’s described as drawing on anger and fury here made sit up and pay attention.

When Rey’s about to shoot Kylo and he freezes her with the Force, we get this: 

“She strained against him, HER ANGER GIVING HER STRENGTH. But she couldn’t fire. He was struggling also, against her newly discovered ability” 

Sure, she’s not able to break free, but he’s been using the Dark Side for a touch longer than she has. Not saying she is for sure, here, but I think it’s one possible reading supported by the text. (Hi I teach English just in case I haven’t said that yet). Personally, I think she was. I also think BOTH of the “sides of the Force” are both amoral and necessary, and drawing on the Dark Side out of anger and desperation isn’t always a sure path to Sith-dom.  

Finn igniting Anakin’s lightsaber is still a moment that makes me love him… he’s ready to defend his knocked-against-a-tree friend with WHATEVER HE HAS, even if it’s a weapon he’s never used before and doesn’t quite understand, and that is sweet and good and loyal, and it endeared Finn to me A LOT.  I remember that when Finn turned it on and stood there in that blue glow in the theater, we ALL gasped.  I don’t remember if it had been in promo material or not, but seeing it on the big screen was… An Experience.

ANYWAY, after Finn does the awesome thing he does, Kylo has a line I’m really glad they cut. After the “That weapon is mine” exchange, we get…

Drawing himself up, a towering figure in the snow, Ren did not even bother to gesture. “I’m going to kill you for it.” 

I mean… he almost DOES (kill Finn, that is) but announcing it is a little too MWAHAHAHA villain for my taste, and I’m glad they let him speak with actions rather than words here in the film. 

So… one of the fun things about all of a sudden caring a WHOLE lot more about Kylo Ren is that I’ve gotten to fully appreciate how incredibly good Adam Driver is at the physicality of this character.  (And by that I mean “I’ve watched a lot of behind the scenes clips and stared at gifs a lot.) It’s just FUN to watch him fight, so this description from Finn’s PoV made me smile. 

The longer the contest continued, the stronger Ren seemed to become. It was as if he was enjoying the challenge. Feeding upon it.

Upon reflection, I know exactly why I love this. It reminded me SO HARD of Jaime Lannister, another pretty terrible (and just plain pretty) fictional character I would get in fights defending. I just like secretly morally conflicted dudes who swing swords, know how good they are, and are kind of assholes about it, ok? 

Give me ALL of the confident, arrogant, Kylo Ren fights.  (Fic recs always welcome. Like I said, I’m new here.) 

This next bit made me wonder about how the “fighting over an object with the Force” thing works. Because this is the FIRST time we see the dyad both try to summon that lightsaber at the same time: 

Ren extended an arm toward the device lying in the snow. It twitched and then began to vibrate as the Force called to it.

But… it doesn’t explode. And this made me wonder, “Why NOT? What was different?” 

Here’s what I’ve got. 

Maybe it went to Rey because she started trying to call it first. So even if he had more experience and wouldn’t have had to try as hard as she (probably) did since it was her first time, the Force… recognized her prior claim? Also I think what happens in TLJ is that the two of them “reach” for the lightsaber at the exact same moment, and so there IS no prior claim, and so they have to duke it out with raw strength, which goes about how you’d expect when they’re equals.  

That still doesn’t explain what happens with the ship in the desert in TRoS though…  Rey definitely reached for it first.  But also, unlike a lightsaber, the ship had ENGINES that were trying to work against her. That might be an explanation.  I wonder exactly what Kylo was trying to do there, anyway… help it break atmosphere like it was trying to do anyway, I’ve always assumed.  So if I’m right, that would make the scene make more sense, and it would mean the rules are: (I’m sure I’m proved wrong a million times in media I haven’t seen yet, but here we go)

A stationary object will usually go to the first Force user who calls it. 

A stationary object will go to the Force user who is “stronger” in the moment if they call it at the same time, (and in the absence of a clear winner, explode?).

A moving object that whose direction the Force user is trying to change will be more resistant and tends to negate #1. 

The confidence/willpower of a Force user (and size of an object only insofar as that affect confidence) is a variable that probably throws a wrench in all three of these. 

Dyads facing off probably screw with the normal course of things, too.

Thank you for coming to this episode of “I need my media to make sense and spend way too much time trying to make it do so.” 

And then… Kylo Ren sees Rey….

“It is you,” Ren murmured. His words unsettled her: Not for the first time, he seemed to know more about her than she did about herself.

He doesn’t say this in the movie. He doesn’t say anything when he sees her, I don’t think.  But when I read this… my heart stopped a little. 

This isn’t what you say to the random girl you met in the woods and who you think has the map to Uncle Luke, even if she is Force Sensitive as Hell.  

This is what you say to a girl you suddenly realize you’ve seen in that place between asleep and awake for most of your life, a girl that you’ve always been subconsciously aware of. This is what you say because you’re beginning to understand that the scavenger you brought on board and this girl you’re just now remembering clearly for the fist time are THE SAME PERSON and she is VERY connected to you.  

What I’m saying is… Ben has been aware of Rey for YEARS without realizing it, and this line FITS THAT THEORY. 

And then they fight. And it gets REALLY interesting. 

Expecting weakness, he encountered only strength. Her skill with the device was raw at best, but it was backed by a fury that was as new to his experience as it was unexpected.

Example #2 of Rey’s maybe-Dark-Side-Use.  The paragraph leading up to this talks about her being “consumed with rage,” and I can hear every (ok, almost every) Jedi master in history talking about how letting anger fuel your use of the Force is a no-no, so I don’t think I’m grasping at straws here. Poor Kylo. He didn’t stand a chance. Angry, “possibly using the Dark side without knowing it” Rey is unexpected and kinda hot, OK???

Flipping away from the Starkilling Snow Fight for a moment, there’s a line of Snoke’s that he does NOT get to say in the movie when he tells Hux to abandon ship and come to him with Kylo Ren. 

He added grimly, “It appears that he may have been right about the girl.”

I. Have. Questions. Did Snoke not BELIEVE Kylo when he flat out said she was a REALLY STRONG untrained Force User? Did he not know who Rey was (Palpatine’s granddaughter)? What does this tell us about Snoke’s independence from Palpatine? (Something I’m still not clear on.) The easiest answer is, “You’re thinking about this too much, Dyadsaber.  No one at DLF knew that Palpatine was going to come back yet when TFA was written, so no one worried about it.” 

BUT I NEED IT TO MAKE SENSE. SO, I’ve decided that Snoke didn’t understand how much of a pawn he was. He probably thought he was Palpatine’s heir or disciple or whatever Grandpa Palps convinced him he was.  Anyway, this would mean that Palpatine could give him a lot of autonomy and agency, especially when it came to corrupting Ben, while still keeping a close eye on Snoke through the Force so he could intervene when he had to. If anything in official material contradicts me, I’d love to know. 

And now for a bit that made me scream a Shakespeare line at my kindle. At one point, the narrator observes,  

What she lacked in mass, she made up for in ferocity.

This is basically a less poetic "Though she be but little, she is fierce," AND I LOVE IT. Someone who’s crafty needs to cross stitch this under Rey’s silhouette or something. 

More lines they probably cut for time, but are really telling.  When he’s got her backed up to that cliff: 

Ren held his lightsaber, poised to strike. “I could kill you right now. But there is another way.” Breathing hard, Rey looked up in disgust at the man looming above her. “You’re a monster.”

Again with the threatening to kill people.  Jeez, Kylo. WE KNOW. Seriously, though, I love this. It’s so HIM that he wants her to know he had the advantage and chose not to press it. It says a lot about how he wants to present himself and his intentions to her. As he does in the throne room later, he wants her to give her a choice, and for her to CHOOSE him. 

Also, I can feel TLJ Rey’s MURDEROUS SNAKE energy radiating off of that “you’re a monster” line. 

And instead of being DETERRED by her insult, he comes back with THIS… 

“No. You need a teacher.” He was beseeching and insistent all at once. “I can show you the ways of the Force!”

“Yeah, I know you just called me a monster, but wanna be my student instead?” The arrogance and presumption of this bit of novel-Kylo is SO VERY HIM. Also, “Beseeching but insistent” is so on brand for him when it comes to her.

And the last thing I marked from the fight was THIS bombshell that doesn’t quite come across as obviously (if at all) on screen. Rey has him on the ground, face bleeding, and…

Kill him, a voice inside her head said. It was amorphous, unidentifiable, raw. Pure vengeful emotion. So easy, she told herself. So quick. She recoiled from it. From the dark side.

I mean, if you read between the lines, Rey’s been drawing on the Dark Side without realizing it for a while now. It’s understandable.  She’s seething with pain and anger and a desire to avenge Han, but there’s a difference between using that anger to defend herself or try to just GET AWAY from Kylo, which one could argue is mostly what she’s been doing, and killing him when he’s bleeding on the ground.   

And she doesn’t do it.  TAKE THAT, TLJ LUKE (Note: I love TLJ Luke. I just also love yelling at him).  Rey has a CLASSIC opportunity to make a choice that would send her down a truly Dark Side path - striking down an unarmed enemy in anger - AND SHE DOESN’T DO IT. She RECOILS. (And then Starkiller takes the choice away from both of them by literally crumbling away and leaving a chasm between them.  If I believed the Force was sentient, this would be a moment where it was saying, “You children are not ready to play nice, and I don’t want to kill each other, so you I’m going to separate you.”) 

And that’s that. The next time they see each other, they’re Forcetiming, and I cannot WAIT to read how that goes in the TLJ novel. 

Some last thoughts: 

Because it would have been hilarious, I’m sad we didn’t the fact that Hux...

followed the troopers carrying Ren into the nearby shuttle.

CARRYING. REN. We were robbed of two (four?) poor storm troopers trying to carry gangly, bleeding, passed out Kylo. I am OFFENDED.

Right before Rey leaves for Ahch-to, she and Leia have THIS fascinating exchange…

“I’m proud of what you’re about to do,” she told the girl. 

Rey replied in all seriousness. “But you’re also afraid. In sending me away, you’re—reminded.” 

Leia straightened. “You won’t share the fate of our son.” 

“I know what we’re doing is right. This is how it has to be. This is how it should be.”

I REALLY wish they’d left this in.  I like that it makes explicit that this is the second time Leia has sent a Force user she cares about to Luke, and that choice WEIGHS on her.  (And this shows how much she already cares about Rey, too… MY HEART.) 

The fact that Rey is perceptive enough to PICK UP ON Leia’s concern, and that Leia reassures BOTH OF THEM that what Ben won’t happen to Rey just makes me love both of these characters so much. Also, I think Leia’s worry and Rey’s conviction sets up the conflict Rey has within herself and her own journey with coming to understand balance in TLJ nicely. She’s just… so confident and cheerful in that last line, and I know what’s coming, and it hurts so good. 

And finally, the last line of this book made me laugh out loud. She’s standing in front of Luke, holding out the lightsaber, and....

She wondered what would happen next.

Luke's gonna yeet that lightsaber.  That’s what.

If you read all of these, thank you.  I’d love to know what you think. I never meant for this to get so long, but I’m wordy and newly shippy, so I shouldn’t have been surprised.  Stay tuned for hopefully shorter posts as I dive into Last Jedi in a day or two.