#I fucking hate the Sombra update

[beepyscircus]

I’m gonna do something violent

[rfpetals]

Why I think Ramattra deserves a redemption arc

OKAY HEAR ME OUT. First of all, what I mean by “redemption arc” is a bumpy journey of self-discovery and inner peace akin to Zuko’s. I don’t think Ramattra will ever forgive humanity or join Overwatch. The end goal of a redemption arc that I want to see is one where he finds inner peace and forgives himself for his sins.

Exhibit A: It would parallel Zenyatta which is really cool because I love characters that are foils of each other and follow a similar path with an outcome opposite of the other’s and-

It’s implied that Zenyatta didn’t have the best circumstances before joining the Shambali. When Ramattra found him, he may have saved his life, as the “nearly got him killed” line in Ramattra:Reflections seems to allude to a dangerous situation. Ramattra also set him on the path of the Shambali, where Zen found belonging, purpose, and perhaps inner peace. Ram gave Zen a second chance and he turned his life around because of it.

(Side note: This may be why Zen was so adamant in helping Genji. He knew from experience what a second chance can do for someone. This makes Genji and Ram’s hatred for each other even funnier.)

It’s clear that Ram is not in the best mental state right now. I don’t think normal people attack the planet and subjugate their own people. I believe if Zen successfully reaches out to Ram and (somehow, idk we’re too early into the plot) gives him a second chance to go on a journey of self-discovery, and he does end up finding inner peace because of Zen, it would be a very satisfying payoff and poetic parallel. It would also lean into the implied thesis of Ramattra’s character arc: “You didn’t have to fight alone”.

Exhibit B: Throwing him in jail/killing him off would be a waste of potential

Yes, Ram needs to face the consequences of his actions. Yes, throwing him in jail is a realistic and satisfying punishment. But you know what else is a realistic and satisfying punishment?

Facing worse discrimination from the humans who hated you and hunted your kind to near extinction and also being cast out and feared by the very people you tried to save and now you’re left with the guilt and shame of your ultimate plan to help your people having failed and you’re left with nothing and nowhere to go. Seeing Ram struggle with these consequences, try and fail to be better, and finally achieve inner peace for himself despite everything, would be ten times more narratively satisfying than watching him rot in jail for 10+ years.

Exhibit C: The seeds are already in place

There’s already a lot of foreshadowing and word choice in Overwatch official media that implies that this is the direction that Ram may be heading towards. Hell, even Ram himself has literal redeeming qualities. In one of the Ram Dev Updates, it’s stated that the Narrative Designers wanted Ram to be “exciting, felt understandable, dangerous, and someone you wanted to get to know better”. In the iconic Invasion cutscene, there is a lot of stuff that Mondatta says to Ram, and his reply, “Perhaps, one day, we truly will be together again”, implies he once had hope for peace, which could be a key motivation in his arc, or could lead to a realization he needs. In a 2022 Polygon article, it’s explicitly stated that “players should not think of Ramattra as a villain, but an ‘antagonist’”, again, alluding to the possibility that he’s meant to have an arc. There’s also the fact that Talon is clearly being set up as the bigger, actual villain, and they’re cooking up some sort of plot that leads to their betrayal of Ram. Why else would Doomfist send Mauga, Reaper, and Sombra to steal Ram’s technology instead of just asking him for it? (maybe he did and Ram told him to fuck off)

Ok so, Ramattra gets a redemption arc. What happens? I DON’T KNOW! YIPPEE!! Exhibit D is that Ram is already such an unpredictable and complex character that his journey could go in any direction.

He could try to regain his following, he could atone for his sins, he could return to the Shambali, he could try to reconnect with humans again, he could be an ally of (not join) Overwatch and get to know them, he could wander the world and find the answers somewhere out there, he could see the errors of his ways and try to rebuild the world he destroyed knowing full well that it wouldn’t make people forgive him and he does it because his journey has led him to a path where he finally chooses to do things for himself and achieve the life HE wants and thus fulfilling the sacrifice and wish Aurora made for him, meaning he accepts his own sentience and finds inner peace! What makes the possibility of a redemption arc so fun and exciting is that anything can happen. It’s what storytelling is all about!

Why wouldn't you want that? And why can't I be a little delusional sometimes? If Ramattra ends up being thrown in jail or nuked or whatever, I will definitely be disappointed, unless I am horribly wrong and the foreshadowing is actually pointing to that fate instead.

Anyway Bliz please stop dumping the budget into collabs and pay attention to the lore more thanks farewell

[tlacehualli]

META   + Moira.

Sombra thinks that hate is a wasted emotion. Well, all emotions are wasted, really; hers are far too strong, they overtake and overwhelm and when she was younger, she could barely breathe if one was sufficiently powerful.

She's 30 and she hates Moira.

Fear is a wasted emotion too. Useless. She'd feared the Red Eye for over half of her life but she didn't sit idly by, cower uselessly like some punk until it tracked her down and found her and ended her existence for flying too close to the sun.

She's 30 and she fears Moira.

Sombra's life is essentially a study in arrogance; how quickly a highly adaptable, intelligent mind can become complacent and think far too highly of itself. For her, apparently, it's not fucking long. She'd undergone cyborgization but even those modifications had left her scrambling, desperate. She could feel the attention the Eye had on her at all times, could feel its probes, its searches, forever trying to answer the question - Is Olivia Colomar truly gone, so easily? No. Surely not. And she knew, she knew, she would die soon if she didn't do something drastic.

So she did, she left Los Muertos behind, washed away the body paint, spoke her brief regrets and said her goodbyes and she joined (or, rather, became a highly exclusive independent contractor to Talon) - because she needed their resources. Los Muertos did fine, usually stayed in the green even, but Talon had something that any gang lacked; they were global.

And she'd needed that, desperately. And she had been such a fool. How easy was it to update Talon's laughable cybersecurity (and to her, it was all so laughably easy to break open and get at the goodies inside), how easy was it to slip inside of some high security facility aided by her invisibility and her translocators and her newfound ability to just make machines do and see and hear exactly what she wanted them to.

How easy was it to work on Moira's little projects? What an interesting exercise it was to create a biochip capable of suppressing the various and complex cascade of chemicals and neurotransmissions that could dull - perhaps even eliminate - one's ability to feel emotion. How simple, how laughable, it was to create a visor that could detect heat signatures through walls.

She'd put it all together much later when she'd seen the Widow - Amelie no longer or perhaps she was Amelie still, her talents did not lie in parapsychology - laying in a contained pool of water, hooked up to what seemed like a million cables and medical thingies she'd been too shocked to register and to search for. Moira had been cold and clinical as she'd given out little morsels of her findings, of her research. Sombra had been frozen, aghast - only 21.

"Oh, are you surprised? I suppose I forgot to tell you. How silly of me."

Moira had been amused and calculating, very easily preying on a young person's desire to prove their intellect and using that for her own ends. Sombra was, needless to say, horrified. She'd worked with the Widow already, she'd seen - the Widow was cold, so cold, and -

"Yeah." Her voice was rough and her laugh had been rougher, a half-hearted attempt to bury the depth of emotion she felt at seeing her hubris, laying still as stone in tepid water. "Guess you got me. Catch you later, gringa."

Too late, far too late. She'd very nearly ran out and she'd rushed into her quarters and she'd wept and broken things and she'd prayed to a God she didn't fully believe in for forgiveness and absolution. She'd drank far more than she should have.

And she'd woken up the next day, her head pounding, her stomach unsettled, and she'd gone to work. A mission with the Widow, how tragic. She swore a part of her died that day - the last innocent part. And nine years after the fact, the ghost of that day still haunted her.

So she hated her. And she feared her. Moira. One day, she would kill her.

[lesbiandeerstory]

it’s time for another script update post roundup thing! usually i wanna do these on thursday but currently my schedule for making posts is “whenever i have time, which isn’t often” so here we are! :v

“back to normal” (esme and popstar)

esme has a new color than the blue i was using for her before, cuz i color picked her cute face to get this color. i think i mentioned that last time, about how i changed some of the colors i was using cuz color picking the characters is more convenient...

anyway i fucking hate when ppl talk about “going back to normal”. it’s gotten alot more severe since covid became a thing, but it was a thing that ppl talked about alot after trump got elected too. when ppl say they want things to go “back to normal” in a political or social context, what they usually mean is “i want things to go back to a place where i can keep ignoring problems”. i hate it!!!!!!

one of the major factions in lesbian deer story’s political landscape is the group that prioritizes the absence of conflict over the presence of justice, ur centrists and ur moderate liberals and what have u, and popstar is the representative of that philosophy in the first episode, as well as esme struggling with her desire to avoid conflict and how that desire clashes with her desire to destroy fascism.

i don’t have alot of sympathy for this mindset personally, but i do understand it bcuz it’s the kinda mindset i used to have. and that’s a thing i wanna do with lesbian deer story, i wanna write a bunch of characters who have a bunch of different ideas and mindsets and i want the audience to understand them too, whether they choose to sympathize with them or not.

“back to normal 2″

esme’s narration here outlining another thing i wanna do with lesbian deer story; esme knows what the Right Thing To Do is, she knows that fascism is wrong, she knows it’s evil, she knows that u need to fight back against it, with violence if necessary.

but *knowing* something isn’t the same as like, DOING it. esme knows that she needs to fight fascism, but she is extremely averse to conflict, and this dichotomy fucks her up and fucks up her friends, but it’s not as simple as seeing where ur going wrong and going “ah i should stop doing this bad thing”. old habits die hard, that kinda thing.

i want protagonists who genuinely struggle with their ethics, and i don’t want to hide from how ugly that struggle can be, or the painful or even disastrous effects that kind of struggle can cause.

tho at the end of the day u can be rest assured esme will figure her shit out in some way or other. lesbian deer story can be ugly and grim at times, but it’s an idealistic story through and through.

“ghost jokes” (rakshasa and verbena)

hey do y’all remember rakshasa, the undead apocalyptic murder deer from the daily deer project?? i don’t think i’ve mentioned this here before, but she got promoted to pov character! hooray everyone give a big hand to rakshasa!

she is still vaguely sinister and potentially even evil, but she works together with the protagonists in the first episode. i like her alot.

originally rakshasa’s persona was meant to be based on chrysalis and sombra, but after actually writing her, the mlp character she ended up resembling the most was... maud. which is funny to me, imagine summoning a wicked evil spirit to gain their dark power and she has the demeanor of maud pie.

“ghost jokes 2″

rakshasa talking about committing murder is a heavy thing for her to be saying, given that deer don’t kill, but rakshasa is already dead so she has a different perception of death than a living deer.

but more importantly, verbena is the one who i agree with in this conversation. like violence is good and necessary, but u can’t just solve every problem by killing ppl. if u kill the ceo of a company, someone else just takes their place. u can’t solve systemic issues by committing violence on a single individual, and thinking u can is not a super healthy ideology to have.

another one of the factions in lesbian deer story’s world is the group of ppl who are ostensibly against fascism, but only bcuz it allows them to commit violence with a clean conscience. these types of ppl are extremely dangerous; ppl who care more about hurting the “right” ppl than they do about HELPING ppl. the use of violence is supposed to be to help and protect others, not just to hurt ppl that are The Bad Guys(tm).

rakshasa isn’t quite this kind of person, she has other goals in mind aside from just hurting the bad guys, but her lack of compassion and her focus on inflicting pain and violence makes her an easy ally for the types of ppl who are just interested in doing violence for its own sake.

the things u do affect the ppl around u, and there are times where u can have quote-unquote “good intentions” but ur actions align more with the interests of the ppl u are supposed to be fighting against.

basically, rakshasa wanting to fight fascism is GOOD. rakshasa believing that violence and murder are the only correct ways to fight fascism is BAD, and her narrow-mindedness in this regard makes her an easy tool to be manipulated BY fascism and other ppl with evil motives.

this doesn’t rly come up alot in the first episode tho. rakshasa and the emeraldeer characters are pretty squarely opposed, but part of the importance of a first episode is establishing a groundwork that can be built on for later storytelling moments!

[accursedkaleeshi]

Anonymous asked:

write the firewalls fic you Horde-playing coward /lh --Solstice

Solstice asked about a fic idea I had. I don’t usually have the brain wiring to commit to full fics so I have just been informally summarizing them. I have had a couple other asks & ideas like this so I am going to call them Bullet Point Fics. Will make a post to link them later

This Bullet Point Fic ended up being fulfillment of some need I have for my fucked up blorbos to be witnessed & validated by other characters in the full glory of just how physically destroyed they are & how they are dealing. So I am calling it the:

“Damn, Bitch, You Live Like This?” BPF

Synopsis: General Grievous becomes aware of another of many Separatist security measures installed in his own systems to control him. I rewrite the Clone Wars Gungan episode & force (hah) the Jedi to realize Grievous used to be a person. Highlights include Disaster lineage shenanigans, Grievous roasting everyone at any given opportunity, body horror, Dooku Drama™, & a whole lot of unfathomable sadness. Last update 2k words

Prologue

·     In a moment of lucidity, Grievous takes stock of what technical systems he has access to & some things he does not. Knowing me, there would be like 5 pages right out the gate waxing poetic about his relationship with technology.

·     Grievous noclips through the very particular firewalls put on his tracking systems specifically to keep him out of them because he was being nosy.

·     The goths Sith are alerted. There are consequences for his actions.

·     Made to attend a Separatist HR meeting about it where they talk about him like he’s a new car & not even there. Wat Tambor is being weird. Grievous can’t tell if it is usual Wat Weird or not bc he has had some drugs forced upon him in Dooku & Poggle’s attempt to make him forget that he found the tracking signals.

o  Sorry. Just. Imagined the Separatist council bitching in a conference room & Grievous is just standing behind Dooku with dilated pupils wishing he was dead. Wat Tambor keeps making eye contact that he is not registering as weird.

·     Grievous was kind of used to being in altered states by then & he remembers much more than the Separatists even know about. Except Dooku, they said all kinds of shit around him bc they thought of him as a droid. Wat Tambor dropped the name of the new encryption tech they were going to use.

·     The general continues doing general things, playing dumb when it suits him. He is an Olympic gold medalist at playing dumb, maneuvering around xenophobes & the like that think he is far beneath them.

Our Least Favorite Clone Wars Episode

·     Later: The main characters manage to be nice enough to the gungans that they agree to help them make a Sombra Ult EMP bomb with their very limited & precious booma plasma. (I hate star wars bc I spent minutes of my life on the wiki looking for what the bombs were called just for them to be called boomas)

·     Alternative “Shadow Warrior” episode timeline things would occur wherein they have a hard time keeping Grievous locked down. He is not deterred by being in a giant bubble underwater & is generally being a huge pain in the ass. Deadpan threatens to fry Boss Nass with citrus & scallops.

·     Padmé gets a development arc. Convinces Anakin not to chase down the turn coat gungan (Rishi Loo, I think). She’s like “The general of the ENTIRE opposing galactic army is traumatizing Gunga city waiting for his ride out. We can’t let the Count come in here with an army to pick up his machine & make a mess of Naboo, right?” Anakin is like “you’re so smart, babe.”

o  Padme’s development includes trying to be diplomatic to Grievous even though he is scary to stand in front of. Grievous is a bitch about it & picked up on anidala quickly bc he’s not fucking blind. Padme chastises him for being unprofessional & he sort of concedes for the time being. Unclear if out of any actual respect or just bc he thinks its funny.

·     Anakin slaps together a big brain comms jammer that reroutes all military comms in the area to one predetermined channel & is very proud of himself until he notices there is still a signal coming from Grievous & he’s like “Hey, wtf man, turn that off”

o  Grievous is like “BOY do I look-?? I can’t. Turn it off yourself if you are so clever.”

·     They try to be lowkey about shoving General goddamn Grievous in a surface vessel & getting him to their ship. (“Gooden riddance! Bigum Bot barely fitten in de bongo!”) They can only circle space awkwardly until the signal is cut. Because Dooku was definitely coming to pick up his dog.

We’ve Got a Runner

·     Grievous debated on whether he would rather deal with Dooku or deal with, ugh, Jedi. He’s already been thoroughly disgraced today. & Dooku was definitely getting flak from Sidious about losing his war machine to gungans. Grievous has a yolo-synapse misfire & tells Anakin about the firewall encryption.

·     Anakin is a huge nerd about it. He knows what it is & has been keeping up with whatever bits of public development he could find about this same encryption.

·     Kenobi calls & is like “What is happening, why did I get a call from Jar Jar that was just wailing in terror??” in the middle of Anakin hacking the world on this old fucking monitor bc he wasn’t about to hook Grievous up directly to their ship.

·     “Master! I don’t know why this smart-refrigerator gave you such a hard time. I caught him the first time out, with the gungan’s help! They gave us the blue bombs for getting rid of him.” Kenobi dies a little inside.

·     “But uh, the Count is coming with back up & I am trying to turn off the good general’s parental lock before he gets to us. You gotta meet us somewhere. Everything is under control but holy kriff make sure you guys have something to contain this thing- GOT IT okay bye!”

·     They go to land on some nearby little system just out of the way enough to not have tourists. Anakin reasoned that every time they tried to capture Grievous in space, one or more ships were totaled. Theoretically it would be safer to do it terrestrially? Especially with Padme on board.

·     Of course, as soon as their shuttle began skimming to park Grievous was like “bye”, kicked out the landing gear, & straight dropped himself out of a moving ship like a crackhead.

·     Kenobi & some of his 212th show up to help corral Grievous who, for a giant bone white cyborg, is moving very quickly through tall alien grasses like that Jurassic park scene. Even more Republic reinforcements show up led by Yoda & Windu. Plo & the wolfpack have brought Ahsoka & the 501’st arc troopers bc they would be damned to miss actually catching General Grievous.

·     In the ensuing skirmish Grievous:

o  Surprises & injures multiple jedi, killing one

o  Surprises, injures, & kills many clones

o  Gets various bits blown off of him under sustained LAAT gunship fire

o  Takes a rocket to the head seams, blasting off the end of his face plate & cracking it up the side

·     The wolf pack is finally like “We got this” & distract Grievous while Rex & Ahsoka arm & launch one of the Gungan EMPS directly on him.

·     Grievous, who was in the middle of moving, just kind of takes a dive. There is a dramatic pause. Fives is like “Hell yeah!” Grievous gets back up. Fives is like “Hell no!”

o  Grievous is still trying to leave kill crush destroy escape. Kenobi is like “pls. can u not just stop. Just stop for five minutes, I’m begging you general”

·     Plo Koon does a drive by in his starfighter, dropping the heaviest, probably illegal, electro-net he could get his claws on.

o  Grievous thinks “this mf just drop a net on me?” but the reason it is probably illegal in the Republic is that the weights at the edges start rumbling & G is like “oh”. The weights crash together at one point & catch one of Greivous’ feet in them.

·     After all that Scooby-doo level cat & mouse they finally manage to get Grievous more or less contained in on a Republic cruiser with a lot of industrial grade cable & a lot of jedi.

o  Imagine the awkward transport LAAT ride standing next to Grievous like the galaxy’s most pissed off lobster net.

The Medical Drama

·     After the cruiser hyper jumps tf out of there the cool kids of the Jedi Council (& maybe Ki-adi Mundi just so I can roast him for no reason) make it a point to gather in the room with the pissed off cyborg. Very scared clone troopers keep having to control his limbs. (Except Cody & Wolf, who have been waiting for this moment their whole lives)

·     It’s hard for them to stay in the room bc he is just radiating anguished rage into the force like a sun. He’s feral & fucked up looking from shenanigans. Pieces of him are twisted or missing, covered in blaster carbon. Half of one of his chest plates has been cleanly cut off diagonally by Yoda’s saber. He’s pissed off like a cornered animal & his body language reads as such.

·     They’re all just kind of standing there trying to look hard when Yoda steps forward. Grievous wrenches forward with all the psi his pistons have & snatches the little bastard off the floor in both/all hands.

·     Ahsoka hit him with another EMP from hell. The entire cruiser stalled. Ahsoka was like “My bad, I panicked.” All the lights died & were replaced with half a dozen lightsabers pointed at Grievous, still clutching Yoda with a death grip, as he convulsed, froze, & then jolted again. His eyes lost some edge somewhere in that full body reset protocol

·     Yoda wrapped his little gremlin hands around the edges of the back of his faceplate & is like “Super fucked up, you are. Tired, you are.” Grievous goes down. The cruiser powers back up.

·     Kenobi, whom is very perturbed by this entire situation, is like “How did you do that? You think we haven’t tried that? He never even flinched before. We couldn’t pierce the anger with any suggestions.”

·     Yoda troll shrug. “Disrupted perhaps, a mechanism was?”

·     Anakin is helpful, “He said the tracking chip was in his head case. If we can destroy it, the Separatist’s goons can’t get the tracker back online. Honestly… shouldn’t we just put him out of his misery?”

·     Half of the jedi are like “He do be fuckt up tho”. The rest are like “He has to have a trial or we forfeit our values”. But they all agreed he must have hella information. Anakin is suddenly urgent about it, realizing that if the Sith can wirelessly back access systems in Grievous they could potentially corrupt or wipe him.

·     What if he self-destructs? Is that a thing, holy shit?? We did not think this through. As usual. We have to remove his wireless access point (das a wap omg). Anakin is the best mechanic on this cruiser so he followed the procession of jedi & clones dragging 300 lbs of deadweight to the medical bay.

·     The medical bay, which was otherwise filled with the people Grievous had just injured & killed, was not thrilled. Nevertheless they would spare a very polite, very nervous medical droid.

·     Yoda, Windu, & Kenobi remained as well as Cody & Rex. They were concerned about the logistics of containing Grievous should he wake up. All the other logistics were also proving a challenge.

·     The general being propped up with more or less a pallet jack from cargo (much to the disdain of the head nurse) Anakin just sort of went for it. He’d opened up plenty of droids & speeders. Where would one fit a satellite tag on this thing? On the motherboard. Well where is everything plugged into on this?

·     Probably several paragraphs of Anakin (& perhaps the medical droid having a droid crush) admiring the design until he tentatively turns the module at center of either side of Grievous’ head like a volume dial & the rest of his faceplate pops off & clatters to the floor. Anakin pauses like a kid caught breaking something until he looks over at Obi-Wan.

·     Kenobi had picked the faceplate off the floor & was looking at what was left of the general’s organic face with that weathered concerned look he got on his face when he didn’t have time to unpack how upsetting something was. He did rhetorically mutter, “Oh, general, what did they do to you…” (🥺)

·     Anakin doesn’t really want to look. He’d spent this whole war thinking of Grievous as a giant battle droid. He’d just spent the last several minutes trying to puzzle off pieces of him while the medical droid’s arms flitted around them measuring & attaching things.

[To be continued. with disgust, will he wake up, & more body horror]

[animentality]

I’ve uninstalled Overwatch. 

I think I’m done with it. 

Just lost interest, I think. I started it originally because I thought the lore was fascinating and I thought the game had a story mode.

I was extremely wrong, but at first I didn’t care because it turned out to be pretty fun anyway. 

And for like a year, I was so obsessed with Overwatch I played it hours a day and just couldn’t stop. I actually freaked myself out with how easily I got addicted to video games. This was my first time ever playing a PC game and the newness of it was just really exciting. And I was sort of joining this world where I’d never been before. 

All of the little moments that made cooperative FPS fun were fresh to me. 

You know, quirky teammates, new friends, crazy accidental teamwork, the intentional teamwork. 

Strategizing around stubborn teammates. 

Making new friends. Having weird internet stranger bonding moments. 

I even got into esports for a bit because of overwatch, and it introduced me to twitch. I hadn’t known about this funky, but energetic little community of boys sharing memes and the occasional toxic emote spam. 

there’s a lot of bad things about online games, and twitch, but there are good things too. 

there are the little moments where streamers do something funny, or wholesome, or make valid points. 

or times when the twitch chat is hilarious, offensive or not. 

It was really fun for a good amount of time. I’d say a year.

I started playing April of 2017, I think. Feels like such a long time ago. 

But uh, you know what, I’m done with it now.

Not just because it gets old, doing the same thing over and over again, but because my friends don’t play it anymore.

And I don’t really get to hang out with any of them online anymore because of it. 

Plus, the only modes I ever played alone, without getting bored, were mystery heroes and competitive.

mystery heroes gets dull after a lot of it, and competitive is just cancer.

Especially with Brigitte and the GOATS meta, god.

How fucking boring.

Three tanks, three healers. you just push and no one can kill you.

All the screaming and the tilting and complaining about picks and all the hurt egos and all the anger and the feeling like shit, and not having fun.

It’s just been going on for a long time.

And it’s not like I really mind being gold or plat, or oscillating between the two. 

I just can’t stand all these bad games.

All these horrible games where people just yell at each other or ignore one another and don’t even bother trying to play like a team. 

The game isn’t fun. And the balance changes? 

They’re horrible.

The “stun” meta is so awful, I just hate playing any hero against it.

You’re a support, you get harassed by a brig who just isn’t going to die unless four of your six teammates help  you. 

You’re a tank, you just get knocked around by doomfist or hacked by a sombra or stunned by a brig or slept because of all of the aforementioned things. 

It’s just such a frustrating game, there’s nothing that redeems it for me, right now. 

I mean, what, they added Ashe and Bob?

First off, Ashe is the least inspired hero I’ve ever seen. Her design is so bland, and might as well be a widowmaker skin, or an r34 mccree with white hair. 

Even Bob, I mean, I really don’t care.

The gameplay doesn’t even look that interesting, since she essentially helix jumps, and is a better mccree who can aim downsight.

bob himself is basically just a moving turret. 

the dynamite is just fire damage. 

so overwatch’s meta?

boring, and frustrating to deal with.

its characters? they used to interest me, but fuck if those lore updates are slow in coming, and boring as hell. 

like has the story progressed at all since the first fucking year of the game?

everything that’s been introduced has been fucking glacial narrative progression.

we have been introduced to some new villains, but their role in the “downfall” of overwatch is still only hinted at, and there have been so many plot inconsistencies that now we’re less eager to hear the “true story” behind overwatch, and more curious about what shit they made up this time to justify a new hero or map. 

so the story isn’t compelling to me personally anymore, i’ve been mostly unimpressed with the new cinematics.

the gameplay is terrible.

the community online (not saying on tumblr, the tumblr fandom is alright. the fanart is good and the memes are funny. im talking about the actual gaming community) is awful. 

and people are angry about the lack of balancing. 

and my friends don’t really play overwatch anymore. 

so what reason do i have for playing overwatch....?

um, none.

it’s all over.

I really can’t express how absolutely disappointed I’ve been with this game for some time.

It’s been months since I genuinely enjoyed myself playing  a game of overwatch, I think.

even victories don’t feel that good, they just don’t feel BAD.

I don’t know if I’ll ever return to it.

I’d like to say maybe, if they have like...an interesting game mode in april, like retribution.

but honestly.

honestly. 

I can keep track of the new lore and new gameplay without having to play it myself. 

And lately that’s been the only way I’ve been able to even remotely enjoy overwatch. 

so right now.

all i want to say is, goodbye overwatch.

goodbye my favorite hero conceptually, and to play, Ana Amari. The only reason I even started playing was because of you. 

And uh, yeah.

The only game I feel compelled to play everyday now is Ark Survival Evolved.

Whoopie.

If anyone has a non-shitty game they’d like to recommend me, now is the time. 

[intim3ate]

Sombra for the character thing !

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM: HER SASS. She’s a sarcastic piece of work and I love her so much. Actually, just her whole personality… she’s totally my type wwww;;;;;; 

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM: her fuckin’ toe boots or leggings or whatever the fuck they are

BROTP: Reaper, but the feeling is not mutual

OTP: Genji

NOTP: I don’t think I have one for her.

RANDOM HEADCANON: She can drink just about anyone under the table. The only person she might not be able to beat that way is Brigitte, but there’s almost no chance they’d get into that kind of competition the way things are now.

UNPOPULAR OPINION: SOMBRA IS FUN TO PLAY, EVERYONE WHO HATES HER IS MAD BECAUSE THEY’RE BAD.

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM: I HEARD THE PERFECT ONE THE OTHER DAY BUT I FORGOT IT… I’ll update if I remember

FAVORITE PICTURE OF THEM: I have too many… let’s say these ones: 1 2. Both are SFW (but the original source of the second couldn’t be accessed, so I linked it from a reblog). There are also two really good Somji art pieces I love, but I’m trying to stick to non-shipping pictures for these. And one is very NSFW, besides. 

[darkdrabblings]

Masterlist

Okay, so I updated my Masterlist for you lovely people. The newer stories now have the posted dates on them because I’m not about to go back to the beginning and date everything. 

I have it organized by characters with the oldest work at the top. There’s also a section for Ficlets and Headcanons at the bottom when they feature multiple characters.

Please don’t judge me too harshly on my older writing, I’ve come a long way since then. I’ll keep updating this list as I put out more stuff.

Warnings: NSFW. The majority of these are noncon and/or dubcon. They also have a lot of abuse, both verbal and physical.

Enjoy! 

Last Update: 06/06/2018

Dark!Akande Ogundimu/Dark!Doomfist

Thoughts on Doomfist - Drabble.

Exhaustion - Ficlet on Doomfist using the reader as a toy.

Pent Up - Long drabble about a fresh out of prison Akande, fucking reader against the wall. [04.30.18]

Dark!Gabriel Reyes/Dark!Reaper

Captured Reader - Reaper headcanons.

Posesión - Dark!Reyes fic (1.6K). One of my first full-length fics. Not on AO3, requires revisions and cleanup work.

Trying to Dom Gabe - Imagine/Drabble on trying to dominate or tease Gabe.

Sweet Dreams - AO3 -  Sometimes all you need is a little peace and quiet with the one you love. Somnophilia fic.

Oral - Headcanons on Reaper giving/receiving oral.

Different Languages - Kink drabble.

Obsession - Drabble that started off as writing advice and then quickly spiraled out of control after the first two sentences.

A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing - AO3 -  Omegaverse. You hated being an omega. Luckily the suppressants you smoked kept you at bay, because the sheer thought of being forced to carry some alpha's brood sickened you to your core. At least you thought it did until you met Reaper.

Tamed - AO3 -  Omegaverse. You were an Overwatch medic doing your job when you happened to save the man known as Reaper. So you shouldn't be too surprised when he shows up unexpectedly at your door during the first day of your heat to give you his thanks. 

A Kind Alpha - Headcanons on how Reaper would treat the reader if she ever got pregnant. 

Tamed Headcanons -  Sombra gets ahold of another Omega’s scent and gives it to you. Maybe with this Reaper will be so distracted that he’ll let you go. 

Tamed: Side Story I - AO3 - A side-story about your Alpha leaving you plugged up before going off on a mission.

Differences - A couple of mini-drabbles regarding the differences between Gabriel and Reaper.

A Walk Along the Beach - Ficlet. The nicer Gabriel is out of the bedroom, the worse he’ll treat you when you return to it.

Welcome Home - Drabble. It’s been a long day and all you want to do is shower. Too bad Reaper has other plans in store for you.

His O-Face - Ficlet. There’s nothing sexier than being held down by the Blackwatch Commander as he pumps his seed into you.

Claws - Drabble. Reaper makes you prepare his fingers before he has his way with you.

Big Family - Drabble. Gabe having been raised Catholic and coming from a huge family, and now wanting a huge family himself.

Breeding - A Short drabble on how we all want Reaper to breed us.

Master - Drabble. 

Mistletoe - A small drabble as a thank you to the anon who commissioned a picture for me of Gabe for Christmas. [12.19.17] 

I Want you To Look At Me - Fic (2.6K). Sentence starter request. [01.25.17] 

Dark!Genji Shimada

Kidnapped reader - Pre-Cyborg!Genji Ficlet on how Genji would kidnap his s/o.

Reunion - Fic (1.5K) on Genji’s reactions on finding his s/o who had got away during his youth now that he’s a cyborg. Not on AO3 yet; requires revisions and cleanup work.

Trap - Ficlet based on “Don’t look at me like that. You’re the one who fell for the trap. It’s your own fault.”

Anal - Kink drabble.

Eyes On Me - AO3 -  Genji was hoping for you to have finally learned something from his nightly visits. Seems like he's going to have to step up your training.

Personality - Headcanons.

Jealousy - Headcanons.  Genji flirting with a woman who is way more handsy than the girls he usually picks up are, and instead of the typical pain of betrayal at seeing him enjoying the attention, instead is cold fury.

Dark!Hanzo Shimada

Lifeless - A tragic accident happens when you upset Hanzo for the final time.

Young and Present Hanzo - Headcanons on differences in behaviors between the two.

The Dark!Shimada Family - Part II -  Hanzo/Reader headcanons as sort of the deadly Gomez and Morticia Addams of the Japanese crime syndicates.

Edging - Kink drabble.

In This Life and the Next - Ficlet. Hanzo watches his pregnant S/O commit suicide. Heartbroken, he decides to end his own life, figuring that if he couldn’t have you in this one, he would join you in the next one.  Not on AO3 yet; requires revisions and cleanup work.

A Dragon’s Tears - AO3 - Fic. You had one job to do, and you couldn't even do that right. A story of the trials and tribulations that Hanzo imposes on his favorite pet.

A Nicer Hanzo - Headcanons.

Painful Sex - Headcanons.

Reward -  Picture Drabble. Hanzo loves having his little bride at his mercy, but if you behave, he’ll reward you by giving you control over some of the binding. 

Marked by the Dragon - AO3 -  Hanzo doesn't like it when his favorite pet runs away, especially when it's to some sleazy motel in the middle of nowhere. It's a shame too, just when he was finally getting attached, you had to go and ruin everything.

Pet - Ficlet. You’ve been asking Hanzo for a dog for some time now, and it looks like he’s finally given in.

Pregnant Runaway - Ficlet. Hanzo’s reaction to you running away while carrying his child.

Requirements - Headcanons. 

Kyūketsuki - AO3 -  When Hanzo was cursed to walk the world as a vampire after murdering his brother, he was abandoned by everyone he knew. Finally, after centuries of merely existing you came along with the taste of something he hadn't had in centuries.

Horde - Fic (1K).  You escape after finally giving Hanzo his child, figuring that he would have no use for you now that he finally got what he’d been after. However, you forgot one important thing, dragons are very possessive creatures.  Not on AO3 yet; requires revisions and cleanup work.

An Unexpected Surprise - Ficlet. Sequel to Horde. Even the Dragon of the South Wind has his moments of kindness.

A Dragon’s Tears: Wounded - AO3 - Chapter Two. You can no longer deal with the pain in both of your hearts and decide to try to leave your dragon one final time.

A Dragon’s Tears: Confession - AO3 - Chapter Three. How’s a sadistic dragon supposed to react when you slip up and tell him your true feelings.

Ramsey Bolton Vibes - Headcanons on Hanzo’s treatment of his favorite pet.

To Love A Demon - AO3 - Kinktober. A one-shot spin-off to A Dragon’s Tears.  It had been a year since you ran away from the Shimada clan and were living on your own after selling your soul to a lesser demon to escape Hanzo. It's too bad that you forgot that Hanzo would walk through Hell to get you back.

Female Child - Drabble. What if Hanzo’s firstborn turned out to be a girl.

The Noodle Dragons - Fic (1K). For Hanzo’s dragons, it’s never too early to start the day. A fluff fic based on events before A Dragon’s Tears. 

Fuck You. - Ficlet. Hanzo reminds you who your Master is after a small outburst.

Risk - Fic (1.4K). What would happen if it was medically impossible for you to carry a child to term? Would he risk it anyway or just get rid of you?

Dragon - Drabble. “I want Dragon!Hanzo to keep me prisoner n raw me every night.”

Daughters - Headcanons. How would Hanzo feel about having a daughter instead of a son?

Voicelines - Drabble. You tried to move away from his touch, but with both of your hands tied above your head and the balls of your feet barely touching the floor, it was easier said than done.

Laserpointers & Dragons - Some headcanons about the noodles favorite toy.  [11.13.17]

A Fitting Punishment - Drabble. You got your period, yet again, which means that you have failed to provide him with an heir. [11.13.17]

Groans - Long Drabble. Dragon!Hanzo. Imagine the noises the dragon makes as he breeds you night after night. [11.21.17] 

Please, Kill Me - Drabble. Imagine after he 'punishes' reader she just pleads with the dragons to kill her/find another because she can't deal with Hanzo anymore. [11.27.17] 

Angel - Drabble. Oni!Hanzo reacts to falling in love with an angel reader. [11.27.17] 

Burn - Drabble. “I want mid-life crisis piercing daddy to eat me out until I'm suffering some intense beard burn.” Same tho? [12.22.17] 

Don’t Make A Sound - Ficlet.  “Don’t make a sound. Do you really want them to see you like this?” [01.22.17]

Masterpiece - Fic (1.4K). Hanzo reminiscing on the best of times and worst of times with you while you sleep. [03.09.18]

Okami - AO3 - Fic (1.5K). The wolf hunts for his prey, especially on the night of the full moon. [04.02.18]

Scion - AO3 -  Maybe if you had been like the other women who welcomed him into their bed with open arms then maybe he wouldn’t have had to resort to such means. But now, the soft mat of the tatami on your back was the only small comfort of a meeting gone awry. [04.08.18]

To Love a Demon: Purgatory - AO3 - A place between heaven and hell, that’s exactly where Hanzo wants to keep you. Sequel to To Love a Demon. [05.24.18]

Dark!Jack Morrison/Dark!Soldier 76

It Wasn’t You - First thing I ever posted on this blog!

A Second Chance - AO3 -  He'd been watching you from the shadows for a while now. Protecting and keeping you safe from a distance. Because in you, he saw a second chance to finally recover what he lost in the fall of Overwatch, a sense of home. Tumblr version now updated to match the revised AO3 version.

DubCon - Kink drabble.

Face-Sitting - Kink drabble.

Pussy Worship - Kink drabble.

Biter - Headcanons on Clit "So help me I will rip this goddamn thing off if you don't gimme" biting with our resident daddy.

Pregnancy Fluff -  Dark!Jack finds out that you’re pregnant with his child and he just does a complete 180.

A Special Invitation - AO3 - After receiving an invitation to the prestigious Annual Overwatch Charity Ball, you decide to take Jesse as your date. It’s a good thing the Commander’s there to explain why you got invited in the first place.

Right Here - AO3 - Most people would have been over the moon if the fantastic Strike Commander happened to notice them. Most people didn’t know what the hell they were talking about. [04.17.18]

Dark!Jesse McCree

Lesson - AO3 - You liked the cowboy get up. You really did. If only you hadn’t hit it and quit it.

Young and Blackwatch McCree - Headcanons on our favorite cowboy from back in the day.

Molded - Headcanons on McCree being such a narcist that he tries to mold his desired prey into his own image, physically and mentally. 

Arrogant McCree - Headcanons on how McCree would tackle male vs. female reader. 

Breast and Nipple play - Kink drabble.

Bondage/Cloth Gagging - Kink drabble.

Pussy Worship - Kink drabble.

A Warm Welcome Home - AO3 - He just missed you is all. Some of that good ol’ deepthroating.

Good Luck Charm - Angst Ficlet.  You know how McCree always says that the Route 66 map makes him feel uneasy and how he shouldn’t have come back there? Here’s a small story that explains why.  Not on AO3 yet; requires revisions and cleanup work.

Demon/Werewolf McCree - Long drabble about being dicked down at the same time by both Demon and Werewolf McCree.

Bitch - AO3 -  You're jealous of McCree always getting the great missions. And when he takes another one that belonged to you, you can't help but insult him behind his back. Look's like he's going to have to teach you who's really in charge.

Where’s My Hug At? - Drabble. You just know McCree’s that type of guy.

Troubadour - AO3 - Song-Fic with our favorite cowboy. “...I'll be an old troubadour when I'm gone.” 

Infatuation - Ficlet. McCree loves showing just how much he loves you, he just expects you to say it back.

Mission Failure - AO3 -  Jesse won't let you feel bad for yourself after another failed mission. In fact, he doesn't like the fact that you're ignoring him to throw a pity party for yourself. Lucky for you, the cowboy knows just how to cheer you up.

Voicelines - Drabble. Jesse doesn’t like it when you tease him, looks like he’s going to have to teach you a lesson.

Thicc!McCree - Drabble that started it all.

Thicc!McCree Cuddle - Drabble.

Thicc!McCree rawdoggin - Ficlet on the beefy cowboy having his way with you.

Thicc!McCree and Coke cans - Long Drabble.

Scratches - Drabble about Werewolf!McCree

Oh, That’ll Do Just Fine - Drabble.  McCree mumbling his favorite line in your ear as you scream when he hilts you.

McCree with a smol!reader - Headcanons and a drabble on how Jesse would be with a kind and small s/o.  [11.13.17] 

Pregnant - Headcanons. Have some smut with Werewolf!McCree fucking a reader who’s heavily pregnant with his pups. [12.05.17] 

This Is Where You Belong - Fic (1K). Sentence starter request. [12.23.17] 

Dark!Junkrat

F.R.E.A.K. - Headcanons

Catching His Prey - Headcanons.

Dark!Reinhardt

Forced Marriage - Headcanons for a forced marriage with our favorite German granddaddy. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Domestic - Drabble.

Young!Reinhardt - Fic (1K) on a forced marriage with our blonde crusader [11/09/17]

Poly!Ships 

Poly!Headcanons - Poly!McHanzo/Poly!Reaper76/Poly!Gency - Headcanons on life with our favorite ships.

Permission  - Poly!McHanzo -  Another one my first stories from my main blog.

Recruit - Poly!McGenji - A long drabble when of when Blackwatch’s resident Cowboy and Cyborg first met you.

A New Toy - Poly!ShimadaBros - No Shimadacest here guys. Just a simple ficlet on what would happen if Genji originally has you abducted and Hanzo's dragons sniff you out before he can even get past second base.

Confession Ask - Poly!McGenji -  A drabble on Jesse using your body for his own pleasure and then passing you over to Genji for some sloppy seconds.

Race - Poly!McHanzo - Headcanons and a full-length fic on which of the guys knocks you up first.

Tie - Poly!McHanzo - Fic (2.6K). Congratulations! It looks like the guys succeeded in knocking you up and it sounds like it’s going to be twins.  Not on AO3 yet; requires a lot of revisions and cleanup work.

Bonded - Poly!McRein - Headcanons on being in a forced relationship with two overpowering men.

Divorced Parent’s Treatment - Poly!McHanzo/Poly!Reaper76 - Two fics (Poly!McHanzo = 1.2K) (Poly!Reaper76 = 1K) based on what would happen when you try to play one man against the other.

Rage - Poly!McHanzo - Drabble on Hanzo’s POV during the Divorced Parent’s Treatment.

Drabbles/Ficlets with multiple characters

Stockholm Syndrome - Hanzo, McCree, and Reaper - Three ficlets based on a kidnapped reader who slowly grows to have feelings for our dark boys.

Reader trying to fight - McCree and Reaper -  Ficlets. What if in your struggles you kicked them in the face super hard to get away, fighting for your life, thinking only of how you are about to be murdered?

Trying to get you pregnant vs. Happy accidents - Gabriel, Jack, McCree, Hanzo, Lucio, and Junkrat - Drabbles.

Size Difference Kinks - Doomfist, Jesse, Gabriel, Jack, and Reinhardt Drabbles.

Pain Kink/Pain Tolerance - Jesse, Doomfist, Reaper, Hanzo, and Reinhardt - Drabbles.

Love Me or Hate Me - Hanzo, Gabriel, Jack, Doomfist, Junkrat, Jesse, Genji, and Reinhardt - Drabbles on whether or not the guys care about your true feelings towards them.

Persuasion Techniques - Jesse, Genji, Junkrat, Reinhardt, Hanzo, Akande, Jack, and Gabriel - Drabbles on how you persuade the guys to give you what you want.

Size Kink: Pregnancy Edition - Doomfist, Jesse, Gabriel, Jack, and Reinhardt - The guys love how your belly is much more pronounced on your smaller frame.

First Time Holding Children - McCree, Hanzo, and Gabriel - Three ficlets about the men’s reactions to holding their long-awaited children for the first time.

Praising - Hanzo, Doomfist, Genji, and McCree - Drabbles on who would praise and tell you filthy things as they dominated you.

Clean Up - Reaper and Hanzo - Ficlets on the men not letting you clean yourself up after public sex.

Falling in Love - McCree, Jack, and Hanzo - Headcanons and drabbles about the men falling in love with their toy. [11.13.17]

Break-Ups - McCree, Hanzo, and Reaper - Drabbles on how the Dark! boys would treat a s/o that is openly grieving their previous partner. [11.16.17] 

Jealousy - McCree, Jack, and Hanzo - Headcanons and drabbles about the Dark! boys and their possessive natures. [12.05.17] 

I Love You - McCree and Reaper - a couple of ficlets on the men reactions on you saying you love them in your sleep. [02.27.18]

Headcanons with multiple characters

Gabriel Reyes and Jesse McCree -  HC’s for your fave dark ow characters and crazy kinks.

Gag for disrespect ft. Reaper, Soldier 76, Hanzo, McCree, and Reinhardt

Ass or Tits ft. The Shimada Brothers - HCs on what the Shimada boys would be attracted to.

Forced Anal - McCree, Genji, and Hanzo - Err...I think the title says it all.

Zarya Headcanons - HCs of our favorite Russian.

You will learn to love me - Reinhardt and Pharah - HCs based on a sentence starter.

Who leaves you in a worse shape? - Reinhardt and Doomfist 

Dark Fluff - Jack, Gabriel, and Hanzo - Some of that good stuff with the meaner guys, where they actually take the time to clean you up or are sickly sweet. 

Lactation Kink - McCree and Hanzo 

Talon Pregnancy Facilities - Reaper and Doomfist 

Something to remember you by - Jesse, Hanzo, and Junkrat - Sometimes, the guys like to take things that belong to you to hold them over until they’re back inside you once more.

Vampires - Gabriel, Jack, Doomfist, and Jesse - What if the guys were vampires?

Attention-Seeking Dragons - Hanzo and Genji -  How would Hanzo or Genji even take it if you were more affectionate/actually paid more attention to the dragons than them?

No Sex While Pregnant - Jesse, Hanzo, Jack, and Gabriel -  How the men react if they were told their pregnant captive needed to keep relaxed, so no sex for the safety of the baby.

Panic and Depressive Episodes - Jesse and Hanzo - How the guys comfort you during your darkest times.

Obedience - Genji and Hanzo - How the Shimada brothers reward you when you finally begin to listen to them; sometimes even going above and beyond the call of duty.

Chub/Thick Girls - McCree, Doomfist, and Junkrat - The boys who appreciate a th i c c girl to make their own.

Dark Daddies - Doomfist, Gabriel, Hanzo, McCree - How some of the guys would be like as father’s.

Period - Reaper and McCree - A couple of headcanons on the guys who would be into period sex.

Inside - Hanzo, Jesse, Doomfist, and Jack - Who would stay inside after finishing?

Sons or Daughters - Who would prefer having daughters or sons.

Momentos - Hanzo, McCree, and Reaper -  You know those possessive sociopathic assholes don’t care how ridiculous you look, they want to make sure that everyone knows you belong to them.

Halloween - McCree, Reaper, and Hanzo -  What would these fuckbois dress their toys as and who would go the extra mile to assure that the costumes are humiliating?

[su-nitpicks]

overwatch updates rant i guess

sorry to videogames on my cartoon account but this is becoming just a kind of fandom rant blog

so anyway hey uhhhh what the fuck is up with the overwatch updates??? like okay, blizzard world is weird, but i guess it could exist in-canon. it feels like a big self-wank of a map and kind of shilling their other products but i dont expect more from them, and as someone who plays hots and has a cursory knowledge of their other games it is kind of neat seeing stuff relevant to it.

reinhardts short is...... forgettable. the “cocky dude disobays orders, gets his friend killed” trope is old as time BUT i like reinhardt and i guess im happy to learn more about him.

but then theres moira. what.... what?? first of all, did we have any indication she existed beforehand? maybe i missed it, but i feel like someone who was an overwatch, blackwatch AND talon member, who seems to have contributed to reapers current state of being, wouldve been a bigger deal before now. doomfist wasnt set up well either but his reveal was cooler because he was an interesting design, and talons boss being a reveal makes sense. moira kind of feels.... written in. like a bad oc.

not only that, but her abilities are super recycled. biotic grasp? basically symmetras main ability. fade? teleportation was reapers thing. but the ORBS???? thats so ridiculously ripping zenyattas thing! it’s like making a new character in a pink mech, or a new character who can skate on walls. its not a big cast, so why are we already getting characters who feel like a patchwork of existing ones.

i won’t get into her appearance cause... it’ll probably grow on me, i hated sombras design on release but now she’s my favourite, so.

overall, all of the new releases feel disjointed. before, shorts, maps and character releases have tied into eachother, but none of these do. i’m hoping its just because they were rushing to get something out for blizzcon ‘17, and that this isnt setting a precident for more characters to come being unimpressing.

[imsorryforbeingtruscum]

Ugh i hate stuff like this

yeah, I accept requests infrequently but the fact that they had to “butter me up” first is pretty fucking annoying.

I do make free requests on Tumblr, but not on the small goddamn art site because it’s full of kids with Sombra recolors as their OCs and I don’t want to be forced to make that.

On that site, I usually make gifts out of the good of my own heart, or draw characters for contests/events.

hell, she basically stalked me for an hour to get the verbal leverage of “wow your so coolalkfdjaldsfjkaslfdjakldsfja”

UPDATE: I just checked the kid’s OC, it’s basically gaster with some broad shoulders. 

[nunchler]

about a month ago i made a post of my first impressions of overwatch characters. now that ive been playing for a few weeks im back with updated opinions (note- i main mercy and also play a lot of tanks which probably informed my opinions. also ive got into the fic)

doomfist - wHY CAN HIS ULT GO THROUGH CEILINGS IM JUST TRYING TO LIVE

genji - fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuc

mccree - *picture of a dog looking angrily at its own reflection*

pharah - i owe every pharah main a life debt

reaper - i still maintain that i could kick his ass but he would probably cry

solider: 76 - its been a month and im still angry that he has a colon in his name but hes my dad and i love him so i guess im just gonna have to look past this

sombra - she is operating on a level i cannot even begin to comprehend.....im so proud of her

tracer - pros- gay, kind, self-healing. cons- always sneaks up behind and murders me. net positive

bastion - cute, but also hookshot target practice

hanzo - i want him to drop that fucking bow and arrow and come fight me irl mano a mano come get some u asshole

junkrat - hell yes. hell yes hell yes hell yes

mei - stop putting the walls up in my face when im trying to shoot someone!! this applies to enemy meis AND friendly meis!!! pls you SAW me just pull out my ult and you put it up anyway why would you do this to me

torbjörn - i hope he stubs his toe on his fucking turret

widowmaker - honestly widowmaker is mood all the time especially in her new skin

d.va - literally saves my life every time in lockout elim

orisa - *openly weeping* i love u robot mom

reinhardt - IM SORRY I WAS SO RUDE REINHARDT I DIDNT MEAN IT ILYSM

roadhog - still my boyfriend, also my secondary main, bang bang bang SMASH

winston - out of game hes so tired all the time and i just want the best for him but in game he can literally go choke, fuck off with that fucking taser

zarya - i want to get good at her cause i love her but i dont understand how her shields work

ana - GIVE! HER! MORE! COOL! SKINS!

lúcio - nobody, not one person, told me that in addition to being a pop star he was also a pro hockey player. i love hockey i cant believe you were hiding this from me

mercy - *joins the professional order of extremely tired mercy mains*

symmetra - is it just me or is her gun kind of op im not bitter or anything but JS!!!!

zenyatta - i always get him in mystery heroes and i hate it i dont know how to play him i dont like playing him and cause he’s genji’s boyfriend i automatically distrust him anyway

[luvleekaotix-imagines]

Tbh with the new update it's like, mccree i love you and I support you but if you m'lady hat tip again I'm breaking up with you

YOU MEAN THE DANCE??? I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THE DANCES OKAY. I’ve actually been so busy that I haven’t had the opportunity to even download the update BUT I’VE SEEN LOTS OF VIDEOS ON MY FACEBOOK FEED OKAY.

Like McCree tips his hat politely but alSO TO BE A SHIT. He absolutely says ‘m’lady’ to someone who hates it, just as they turn away as well so when they spin back around he can be like “What? I didn’t say anything???” You sure fucking did McCree don’t you fuckin-

And Sombra sure as FUCKITY shuffles past a meeting door when she nails something like, maybe Reaper or Widowmaker is having a meeting and suddenly they hear the noise of shuffling toe-shoes and they’re like ‘no, no don’t do this’ and Sombra just glides by going, “GUEEEESSSssssss WHO JUST HACKED THE BLUEPRINTS YOU NEED yeah it’s me, you’re welcome by the way~” Shuffles away.

MEI LEARNS EVERY ANIME DANCE EVER I don’t give a fuck, she does it. It doesn’t matter if she’s bad at it or anything AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?! Any game that give’s you cute dance emotes, like the Elin dance in TERA or whatever, D.Va sents a vid of it to Mei and is like “yo learn this” AND MEI DOES OKAY. Mei does it she’s so fucking cute just hghuzagrhdadha don’t you ever tell her she does a bad job or everyone will kick you in the face.

OKAY. BUT. HERE WE GO OKAY. I WAS THINKING ‘wait Hanzo’s dance is weird’ BUT!!!! I FUCKING THOUGHT MAYBE HE WAS PART OF AN OUENDAN AT SOME POINT IN HIS LIFE???? I MEAN LOOK and THIS ONE TOO i don’t actually know if it’s in reference to this or not BUT THIS IS WHAT I THINK FROM NOW ON!!!!

Forget my ignorant stressed fucktardiness,

it’s Sōran Bushi that Hanzo is doing which is equally as cool and much more important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More on the Sōran Bushi cause I’m having a grand time educating myself atm.

[gyromitra-esculenta]

Beauty and Beast crack

Two days ago, I sent some fear!au quips to waifu (so it’s all @drift-ed ‘s fault).

Waifu: You know, that’s fun, but all that Beast thing reminds me of the other thing with Beast written with a capital letter.

Me: Huh, can’t fathom. Tell me, I’m ripping off something more than Hellsing?

Waifu: You know, Beauty and Beast.

Me: I hate you. I mean, I love you, but I hate you right now.

Waifu: Imagine Jack in that yellow dress, tho.

Me: *almost chokes on coffee at work* This is ALL ON YOU!

*

So there’s this ‘merchant’. He’s coming home in his limo from a business meeting and stops by the whole ‘fuck off gloomy and depressing’ gothic mansion. In true intelligent brain fart way of things he, of course, sends a goon to fetch a bouquet of black roses for his barely legal fourth wife.

Of course, Reaper descends on them like god’s own wrath and demands compensation by the end of the week. The merchant shakily agrees.

Come another day, the goons are sent to tidy up the situation. Reaper sends them back in one box. Literally.

The second time it happens, it takes actually two boxes.

End of the week, a limo arrives and out, with two big-ass luggage cases, comes a strangely tall and buff cloaked figure that kicks open the gate.

“You’re not a woman,” Reaper tries to protest.

“Four brothers. Deal with it,” Jack counters and drags his luggage to the mansion.

*

“Okay, I get the whole gothic ‘we are all going to die’ aesthetic, but could you cut down on spiders?”

“What spiders?”

“Like this. This fucking thing is so big it has its own health bar.” Jack points to the ceiling, by the curtains.

“I feel offended,” the spider answers. “I’m not a spider.”

Jack screams like a little girl and jumps on Reaper, almost choking him with his panicked grip.

*

“So you got talking furniture?”

“It’s my curse…”

“Cool. Usually, it takes wifi and Google. Though, I don’t appreciate the chairs telling me I have a flat ass.”

*

“This has to end,” Amelie, the feather duster, cackles to herself while aiming down the sights.

Jack, updating his Facebook profile to ‘It’s complicated’ in the garden, just raises the metal tray to stop the bullet like it’s nothing.

*

Jack gets to getting rid of all the spiderwebs. It ends with a broom stand-off with a spider.

“I’m not a spider!” The spider screams before it scurries off to hide under his bed.

Reaper is not overly amused when Jack moves all his things to his room, citing ‘literal Lovecraftian horrors lurking around’. He is even less amused when Jack refuses to budge from his bed.

*

Gerard, the clock, tries to knife him in the back. Jack kicks him through an open window.

*

“What is your deal?” Reaper asks one day, frustrated.

“Oh, nothing. Father wants me to inherit the family business. Imagine me as a merchant. No, thanks, but no.”

Jack doesn’t mention the family business is illegal weapons trade.

“You’re not leaving.”

“Nope. Deal with it.”

*

Reaper has to leave for a week. He hands Jack all the keycards.

“The freezer in the basement. You don’t go there, I will know.”

“Sure.”

By the end of the day, Jack is inside.

“Um, hi?” Mei, the fridge, greets him.

“Nice setup. Would give father ideas,” Jack huffs, observing all the women frozen in ice. “For eating?”

Mei stares at him, horrified.

“Um, no, just storage.”

“Cool. Mind if I take pictures?”

“He scares me,” Mei later sobs to Zarya.

*

“What are all those charges to my credit card!?”

“Quality alcohol,” Jack giggles, downing another glass. “Want to have sex on the bear rug?”

“Not on the bear rug,” Zarya turns her head and glares at him.

“And yet,” Jack dramatically sighs, “it didn’t mind my bare ass yesterday.”

Reaper feels another migraine coming. Tries not to think why Jack was on the bear rug yesterday, naked.

*

How Jack got a hold of an assault rifle, Reaper will never know.

“I’m not a spider!” The spider goes for a full frontal assault. Jack, screaming in terror, puts several holes in the ceiling before he faints with a face full of skittering legs.

“I need to kill this fucking thing before it lays eggs in my brain,” Jack shakes Reaper with a glint of madness in his eyes when he comes to. “I need explosives!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

*

“What are you wearing?” Reaper just stares. Jack pinches at the yellow fabric of the dress that flexes in all the right places.

“Ana made it my size,” he snickers. “Said something about the ball.”

“This is by far margin the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Do shut up and humor your kidnapped bride, Reaper.”

“It’s you who doesn’t want to leave.”

Jack elbows him hard.

“Deal’s a deal.”

Somehow, they kiss after the dance.

*

“What do you want?” The pink skull observes him suspiciously from the screen of the computer.

“Reaper’s search history.”

Sombra considers it for a moment.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Oh, you know,” Jack grins, “there’s this singer coming to town next week and I got backstage access… and will bring in my phone…”

“You know what? Have fun.”

“Oh, nice,” Jack whistles after ten minutes of browsing. “Think Ana has something like this or do I need to make some orders?”

Reaper almost turns on his heel when Jack greets him later from the bed, clad in a black lace bodysuit and silver jewelry, hair painted white.

“Duh…” He says eloquently when blood leaves his head.

*

“Oh shit. Recent mom’s birthday coming up, I should make an appearance.”

“Remember, you must be back by midnight next day.”

“Stop being such a melodramatic bugger. I said I’m not leaving.”

*

And of course, Jack does not come back. As usual, everybody leaves him, and Reaper, lying on the floor, wishes he could just die.

“Stop your dramatic moping shit,” Jack crouches by him, with a rifle slung on his back, smelling of blood, smoke, and cordite. “It’s not you who had to fucking break out from house arrest.”

“I didn’t think you were coming back…”

“I said I’m not leaving. Told father where he can stick his ‘business ventures’.”

“I’m a monster…”

“Actually, I’ve known far worse.”

*

A week later, Jack changes his Facebook status to ‘Married to fucking edgiest motherfucker of them all’. Amelie and Gerard sulk.

*

It’s all dandy, even if the ‘I’m not a spider!’ thing happens at least once a week.

[killr-cupcake]

Tagged >:0c

WARNING: THIS IS SOME LONG ASS SHIT 

tagged by: @zuendzie @butterflygineer

tagging: @pyrosbeanie @kittehkatlol @ask-bel-and-engi 

(I CAN’T remember if you’ve done this)

1. Relationship status

Single af, sad, saying that I want a boyfriend and freaking out the moment someone gets close

2. Pets

A mixed breed doggo, her mom was a french but has the exact oposite hair, all short, silky and black, her name is Jazz

3. Last song listened to

Formation - Beyonce

4. Favourite TV shows

Brooklyn 99, American horror story, Marvel’s agents of SHIELD, Adventure time, Futurama, Face Off and Shadowhunters (I’d say La rosa de guadalupe but I only watch it when it makes an episode out of something that became a meme like Pokemon Go or the Blue whale, they’re always so goddamn exaggerated...)

5. Hobbies

Playing TF2, watching horror movies, drawing, RPing on tumblr, sleeping, procastinating, surfing tumblr, cussing

6. Nicknames

Cupcake, Ric, El medias, KillR, Too Gay to function, Lewd virgin

7. Star Sign

Depends on your opinion as to wether November 22 is for Scorpio or Sagittarius, most ppl say it’s Scorpio but some other don’t so idc

8. Height

I can’t remember right now, but it was around 174 centimeters last time or something, but it was a year ago when I checked so...

9. ???

Blank space I guess

10. Time right now?

When I wrote this it was 8: 30 pm, time to be more useless than most of the day, will update when I finish writing

(SHIT I remembered that I have a project due to monday wtf)

((Update: GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING HOW IS IT 9:05!? THIS IS CURSED))

11. Last thing I googled

Hypodermic syringes / Anxiety meds active ingredients

(I google many shit at once, I have 7 open tabs, send help)

12. Favorite music artist

That’s... A difficult one, I like Marina and the diamonds, Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande and LOLO... I’d say LOLO, she’s so underrated... Go listen to “In loving memory of when I gave a shit”

She has some really good shit, and she’s also on tumblr! She posts random pics from tours and barely gets notes bc she is very underrated cry everytim

13. Last TV show I watched

Brooklyn 99, the episode about the crew being invited to paintball training with federal agencies that are assholes to them for being simple cops. 

(Spoiler alert: They fucking got the role of hostages but decided to prove themselves, broke free and killed all of the terrorist roles but where killed by the rescue team role and got mocked I hate the FBI now)

((ALSO how do paintball handguns even work??? I’ve only heard of and used rifles))

14.  Last movie I watched

Lucy. More of Scarlett Johanson’s work of being a sexy, cold, monotone, efficient killer, somehow I never get tired of it

The plot is based around the (now debunked) theory of the human only using 10% of their brain and being able to do godlike shit if we reach higher and higher so I didn’t like it as much

15. When did you make this blog

I don’t remember, I’d say around September last year, bc I discovered Sombra (my mejor amiga and best girl) here and got up to the Halloween hype

16. Any other blogs?

@g3n3tic4l-pyromania

@ask-pastelspy

@ask-pastelbattlemedic

All of them ask and rp for my tf2 ocs, I’m considering making a blog for my doodles

17. Do you get asks regularly

Not at all on my main blog

On the ask and rp blogs, I don’t get THAT many much but I get some and they make me happy

18. Why did you choose your URL

I’m into cupcakes and edgy stuff

19. ???

Another blank space. May I say that this is a long ass tag meme?

20. Gender?

Cisgender male

I went through some dysphoria as a kid bc I was gay and loved all female superheroes and shit but I like being a boy now lol 

(Not that I wouldn’t rock some heels or androgynous fashion tho)

21. Hogwarts house

I’m not a potterhead BUT I’ve taken some tests and I’d be...

A Ravenclaw~

Some other irl potterheads I know have agreed so yay, I’ve read stuff about the house and I really like it and 100% agree that I’d go there

22. Average hours of sleep at night

6 hours on weekday, 8 or more on weekends, I CAN NOT stand being sleep deprived

23. Dream job

A spot as a writter for some cool magazine that has tumblr taste to it like life hacks and usefull science and social stuff (There’s one here at Mexico called MOI and I’d love to work there) Or a reporter or journalist of spectacles and gossip shit

OR something really modern like a gym instructor or part of a coffe or ice cream shop cliche shit

24. Amount of followers on this blog?

Lemme go check... On mah phone... YOOO 77!? People actually like my shit? Nah, must be a fuckton of porn bots why would ppl like my shit anyways lol

25. First ten songs on shuffle

- Happy , Marina and the diamonds , Froot

- Got no time for lonely , LOLO , In loving memory of when I gave a shit

- Venus , Lady Gaga , Artpop

- Comeback Queen , LOLO , Comeback Queen

- Greedy , Ariana Grande , Dangerous Woman

- Savages , Marina and the diamonds , Froot

- Soap , Melanie Martinez , Crybaby

- Everyday , Ariana Grande , Dangerous Woman

- DNA , Kendrick Lamar , DAMN

- Dandellion , LOLO , In loving memory of when I gave a shit

(Yeah, I don’t have much variety but I LOVE every single song there I guess)

[mercyzieglr]

heres the post from me whining about the bastion update bc i know we’ve all been waiting for this

bastions counters are: - genji (u gotta b rly good and the bastion has to be an idiot 90% of the time) - tracer (waste ur entire ult killing 1 hero) - roadhog hook got nerfed and bastion’s recon mode is buffed + self healing it’s a no from me - sombra hacking him into recon mode no longer is helpful since hes good in tht mode now like whats the point - widow (gotta b good though which is rare and bastions no longer even got a headshot so thats cool good luck)

idk man people claim like junkrat and mei are counters but they really just arent just because bastion cant mow them down in 2- seconds doesnt mean theyre counters this shit is just stupid hes the worst character in the game and i genuinely wish he was Not in this game i dont care if blizzard is trying to fix the fact that hes not being played in high comp because its not fucking fun to play against him 

like all jokes aside hes terrible and i dont really care about the good quality comp and i know some people do but blizzard should maybe be paying attention to the fact that majority of the ovw fanbase isnt grandmaster so who fucking cares whether or not theyre playing a hero up there? theyre gonna play anyway and maybe some people arent playing bastion bc they have human decency and want to enjoy the game as well as let other players enjoy the game theres some fuckign Food for Thought bc bastion isnt enjoyable there i fucking said it i hate this stupid robot and i hope bastion dies

[darugha]

Overwatch Update

Winston and Symmetra are still my favourite characters to play by far. D.Va, Roadhog, Zenyatta, Reaper and Lucio are pretty close.

I’ve been doing extremely well lately with Bastion, Sombra, Tracer and Pharah too. By well, I mean I have two or three amazing matches where I’m getting all the gold’s and POTG’s and then two or three matches where I die relentlessly. Regardless my affection for these characters is growing even if I don’t feel 100% comfortable with them yet.

Having a rough time with Mei and Reinhardt - just not getting the best out of them lately.

I’ve had a few games that were good as Widowmaker and McCree, but they can still get fucked - I hate the pair of them. Zarya’s in the doghouse too.